Stavvy's World - #106 - Sarah Sherman and Ben O'Brien

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Sarah Sherman and Stavvy Baby Enterprises consigliere Ben “Mr. Cheeks” O’Brien return to the pod to discuss Sarah’s April Fools Day bat mitzvah, her failed career as a child Christmas model, Ben and Sarah’s toilet situation in their former shared studio, fun facts about Sarah’s SNL costars, waking up with bloody scratches all over your legs, and much more. Sarah, Ben and Stav help callers including a man who’s wondering if he should tell his brother that his sister-in-law confessed feelings for him, and a guy whose buddy stole his engagement thunder. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Get Harry’s Holiday Craft Set, a custom green gift box, and free handle engraving when you go to https://harrys.com/stavvy Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://auraframes.com/ . Use code STAVVY at checkout to save! Head to https://factormeals.com/50stavvy and use code 50stavvy to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping! Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code STAVVY for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. More info at https://www.gametime.co/ Follow Sarah Sherman on social media: https://www.sarahsquirm.com/ https://www.instagram.com/sarahsquirm/ https://twitter.com/SarahSquirm Check out Ben O'Brien's beautiful creative direction at stavvy.biz and Stav's accounts. Follow Ben on social media: https://www.instagram.com/benfobrien/  https://twitter.com/benfobrien See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

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master at grandmasters.ca. Must be 18 plus. Play smart. What's up, gang? We have an incredible show for you with two favorites, Benny Butchiex and Sarah Schermen coming up right now. But I want to tell you, tickets are on sale for the Dreamboat Tour. Me and Elders are hitting the road. We're on a tour bus just to plus size Eastern Europeans on the open road. I'm going to be doing shows all across the West Coast, the Midwest, the South, and hopefully later in the fall we're going to add East Coast dates as well. But right now go to stavi.biz, get your tickets, all new hour, nothing you've seen on Netflix, nothing that you've seen on YouTube, it's all new stuff and it's going

to be, I'm pumped. I can't wait to finally get back. I took the year off. I'm coming for you. So get your tickets right now and let's start the show. Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOVE. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. Wow. It's December 9th. I'm here with my good pals, Sarah and Ben. Welcome back. Sarah, this is your third time on the pod. How does it feel? Oh my. Well, I feel like I showed up on time. It's good. You did. I did. And it's an early recording.

Tell the class how early it is. It is 10... Right now it's 10 18 a.m. That is early. That is early. Which means I had to wake up at like 8 30. And you were on... You were live on television.

Mere days ago. Just not even 30 hours ago. Or maybe 40 hours ago. And we're discovering that the Celsius that I am been drinking before that show is affecting me 30 hours Yeah, yeah, bet is actually some some people don't know this about the cheeks and by the way How does it feel not being in the cheek zone? It's horrible It's so weird seeing your eyes on the podcast 3d world he Being in the 3D world.

He's in the cheek zone. He's in the cheek zone. In a different dimension. Oh, I see. He's usually coming to the podcast from a different dimension, and sometimes we get trapped in the cheek zone. I see.

When he's powerful, when he's at his most powerful, he can trap the whole podcast in the cheek zone. He goes without saying. You've narrowly escaped it today. He's weak today. But every now and then I come out to the real world for very special guests. Yeah. We used to be roommates, of course. Oh yes, during the pandemic, we were. escaped today. He's weak. Every now and then I come out to the real world for very special guests.

We used to be roommates. Oh yes. During the pandemic. We were roommates. You slept in the same house. We were in the, no, we had studio, we were studio mates. Yeah. Sarah had a studio in my garage. I remember that. During the pandemic. And then you left for SNL.

You know what? And I auditioned and I was like in the we was this like freezing cold garage you audition in the garage I auditioned zoom no I auditioned in real life and then went to the garage and I was like fucking LOL I'm not getting SNL yeah yeah I remember Ben saying that like can you believe it they were fucking asked Sarah to audition and then we laughed about it we were like that fucking bitch no way you guys were like you're gonna get it No, I was fully like you're getting it Yeah, well bet but that the reason you said is because you didn't want her to get in your right bad

No, I just realized it all just kind of came into it came into crystal clear view Yes, and I was like, oh you're like Lawrence got his juice back. He's gonna make some good calls Yeah, he's gonna get the cash is gonna be good first I was like no one will ever hire Sarah to do anything she looks too crazy she's got too much of her own thing yeah much of an artist you know he's he's cracking lies and making laughs right now he's the only person in the entire planet who ever believed in me. Wow. That's beautiful. Every time you, every day he said I was a superstar. Yeah. Wow.

And I was right. I manifest. Well, he wasn't. That's relaxed. Superstar's a little strong. You're good. Superstar. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Superstar selling out small venues. By the time this comes out, I will have done a poorly attended show in Asheville, North Carolina on Tuesday, November... What's Tuesday? 19th. 19th. Thank you. I really hope people have come to that by then.

Yeah. And maybe in the future you will do the show in a way that helps you, but for now, you know, it's all about me and Eldiz having a pre-record episodes so we can get one week off in December. We're almost cut up all the way through July 2025 You know we should do for real we should just pick random vault episodes And like like record one next week and then we'll release it in fully two years from now. That would be fun The time capsule app. All right. That's a great idea. We have to make our predictions for what it's like.

Oh, that's good. I mean, it goes without saying flying cars. Awesome. Yeah. Flying cars. Two years. Oh yeah. Flying cars. Barron Trump is president. And he's shorter. And he's shorter. He made a deal with the devil to take some of his shin bones for his father's immortality. Did he take HGH? I don't know.

How'd he go up in the sky so fast? OK, well, maybe Trump turbocharged his old nut together. Maybe he injected HGH into his nut. That's true. That's true. I mean, we also don't know what Milani is packing With other people in her family. Yeah, we should from Serbia. Yeah, Luca Donchic is from Serbia. So she has some basketball player There's a tall person in that same country

Yeah, there's a couple we're getting warm and eldest just googled why is Baron Trump so tall And Eldis just googled, why is Baron Trump so tall? You don't get that tall from regular. You get it. Your mom has to be drinking bone broth. Eldis is literally f**king 6'4". They're refugees. 6'5". Some might say 6'6".

This guy's 6'7". When a race of people is in trouble like this, they start creating huge people. Oh, you think? is in trouble like this there they start creating huge I'll like all this you know his mom his mom's womb could knew that they were under duress yeah really a big homunculus to to I'm gonna I'm the last hope for the future of albany you always begin tall yeah you get special pants? I always wondered. No.

No. If you're like- I mean, there's a big and tall store. Of course. What do you mean? What do you think they do? You have to go to like- You think between you and Elvis,

he's the one who needs special clothing? You think he has a harder time finding his outfits? You know what's crazy? I'm actually even, you don't even see the full outfit I believe it there are other even shirts going on this it's just for me I respect that there's a Mickey Mouse tie underneath I see the ties peeking out and I just for me when did the dumb dressing start first time. Oh, how old were you? Like 12 12. I mean, yeah, I mean even I have memories of going through like my grandma

I'm not hard Bennett's but go ahead You can'm not fully hard. It's a free episode, dude. Give us a percentage, dude. You can't feel sexual towards me, because that would be like familial incest. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's how you feel about everyone, Sarah. You don't want any sexual attention from anyone. No, I need it badly. You need it.

Yes, badly. And you've got three layers of Mickey Mouse. Because that's the challenge. You know what I'm saying? It's like, what kind of mental gymnastics can I force people to do? Right, right, right. Because here's the thing.

I'm gonna say this right now. Please. Under four shirts and a Mickey Mouse tie, one of the most amazing bodies you've ever seen. Pog status. I don't know about that. Yes, ma'am. I don't know about that, pal.

Big fat legs, huge that. Yes, ma'am. I don't know about that, pal. Big fat legs. No tits. Huge ass. No stop. Amazing happy trail. No tits. Hunchback. Spine out. It's incredible. You've seen it? Uh, some of it, yeah. I really do have to say, you, I,

I'm more attracted to Stav, probably than I am to you. Damn, dude. I guess it'd be I'm more attracted to stuff probably than I am to you. Damn, dude. I guess it'd be hard, but I guess I'd pick Sarah. But I would I would have to really take the pros and cons list and figure it out. Perfect face, hangnails on every finger. Eyebrows that meet in the middle. I'm pivoting to supermodel after this.

I mean, they do sometimes make you look presentable when you have to play like a dumb bitch on SNL. They blonde me out. When you have to play like an HR manager I'm like whoa hey she's a human being. Yeah isn't that nice. She's not a little gremlin. Yeah isn't that nice. She's not a little gremlin that got loose in a community theaters wardrobe room. I did growing up I did get a lot of my clothes from the theater. You still get your clothes from like child, like Halloween websites and stuff. Yes, this is true. And one of my favorite clown suits, Ruby, and I might be getting her in trouble for this, Ruby McAllister worked at a elementary school and she stole one of the like kids clown costumes from like the the like rummaging around box for the kids dress up. Just for fun. She

stole one of those yeah just for fun box and she stole one of those it's one of my most worn classes. I see that speaks to the like the power of my body it can fit in a lost and found child. That's true. I'll give you that you have a child's body If a child was a pog You think you know, I don't know I will support you in whatever you I'll say this I have typed pog into a number of search bars never has your body type come up into a number of search bars, never has your body type come up. Big fat legs? Well, I wouldn't say big and fat. Well you can't see with all the stripes.

Yeah, that's true. You're wearing camouflage. I'd like to see you guys SNL-ified. I'll see. What are you talking about? I'd be fucking hot. Give me a little wig. Give me a fucking beautiful full head of hair. Ben. Ben would be a real problem. Give me a fucking beautiful full head of hair. I mean, Ben, Ben would be a real problem. Ben's a piece of ass.

He also has your disease of dressing stupid to not be taken seriously by society. I know. But Ben and Ben and is Jack. This is better than Ben is sexy. Ben is a hot piece of ass. Absolutely. I saw him without his shirt. I was like, what the fuck? Why is Ben so fucking cut? He's got abs and shit And like got a hair transplant like if we made him if we made him like I mean

He doesn't need a hair transplant, but I'm saying if we gave him the substance for example Ben would be the best substance out of all of us no question I think he would look weird with hair. I Know no he has the perfect little I have a good head for being bald, but I do love to wear away I can't forget how much hair you know I have considered starting to wear wigs you should for fun Well, I used to teach like kids, and we like you know we do film so I call her young you not no No, these were children. Oh really and we would

And the kids would always say someone would always be like oh my god that looks so good I think I was silly wig they'd be like oh my god. You should wear that I think you would look creepy like wouldn't it be weird if I just came in the next day wearing this just not that's the others the Try to pull it off that Tim Robinson sketch about how you've been wearing a wig and you Want to go bald and then they hire the gorilla to rip your hair out Or the that's a really good idea. Yeah

Eyebrows speak for themselves Ben's yes. Look. He's a fucking sexy guy. I'm telling you we all agree Ben's hot Sound off in the comments, which of the four of us would you guys like to fuck the most We're doing we're doing and here on December 9th the beginning of holiday season It's objectify Stavis world month all December talk about how you want to slurp us up But yes, you were the fucking we with some hair and a fucking suit an Oxford tucked into some khakis I mean, did you have what was your hair before it was disappeared? It wasn't good. It was, it was very fine and thin

and not like it was thinning. I mean, I started thinning very young, but it's just like when I went bald, I was like, this is liberating. Yeah. I just think this color. No, no. It was a little bit lighter than that. So that's so odd. It's like kind of light brown. It was very wispy.

Sure. If I really grew my mustache out, I wonder what color it would be. Blonde, probably. No, I have one. Yeah. A little bit. Yeah, yeah, I see your facial hair, it's blonde.

It is blonde. It's fine and blonde. Oh, God. Terrible. I've also been growing beard and neck hairs. That sucks. Folks, it's the holiday season. It's time to give gifts. Terrible. I've like I also have been growing like beard neck hairs. Sucks. Folks, it's the holiday season. It's time to give gifts. And sure, you can do fun stuff.

I'm sure Sarah has given her family whoopee cushions every year. But sometimes you need a nice practical no brainer like a shaving set. For someone who forgot no shave November is over. Right? I'm a little scruffy now. As soon as I get back to the hotel, I'm hitting my Harry's products. We're big fans of Harry's over here at Stobbies World, whether it's their beautiful steel blades engineered in a German factory, whether it's their... I use their hair cream. Eldest uses their...

What do you use, Eldest? What's your favorite thing? The texturizing putty. The texturizing putty. That's all, Eldest. I, what do you use Eldest? What's your favorite thing? The texturizing putty. The texturizing putty, that's all Eldest. I like the light hold. You know, I got these beautiful curls now. I need the light hold to tame my shit but not looking too, you know, without too, not looking too gelled up.

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That's harrys.com slash stavi for Harry's Holiday Craft Set. What do you remember the first like outfit you were like, were you were you're stunting on them? Yes, yes. You do? What was it? Middle school, theater, do. What was it middle school? theater Closet I was rummaging through it found a sequin Jacket that was like identical to a sequin jacket like an 80s sequin old lady jacket

That was identical to grandma yetas sequin jacket from the nanny Grandma yes No her mom? No, her mom. I can't remember her mom. Oh yes, I remember when the grandma would pop up. Yes. Oh I love the nanny. And I had the Jack, oh I felt, oh me pulling up to middle school like shit.

That must have felt fucking awesome. I felt amazing. And you could just wear any dumb bullshit you wanted at your school. Fucking yeah. What are the bunch of little Jews gonna do to me? No true. Yeah, we had cuz we had We had school uniforms in Baltimore City because people were getting stabbed for like nice clothes So they're like alright everybody wears Navy polos

Navy polos and khakis you couldn't dress cool, which actually was good for me because I I didn't know what I couldn't be cool I was just like it forced you to focus on the person that's a good that's a good way to look at it But then we had to do after like when it was like hey come to my party. I was like Oh, what do I do what to show them didn't know what to show it was tough it delayed my ability to you know Find my iconic Hawaiian shirts and tracksuits styling and now you wear shorts that I thought by the way when I walked in were underwear I'm a little underwear guy big shorts guy Or if I'm where I do like a small inseam as well show the thighs off You know those are and you were a pog as well. I am yeah, I actually do have a I have a thick bottom absolutely

Yeah, I actually do have a thick bottom, absolutely. Pag, fat ass Greek girl. Not bad. It might be early, but you guys are, I'm coming out with great things coming out of my mouth. You are doing good, maybe you're a morning person. No, I mean. Maybe you need to quit your job and get a morning radio show.

That, do you do radio shows anymore? No, no. No, no. Wasted time. You know that my my ticket sales are required Did you ever do the club in Phoenix the yes, yeah, did you ever do the radio show? It's like Phoenix like six in the morning, whatever and I walk into this, you you know you're all dehydrated

Because it's like Arizona. It's like it's also way too early way too early, and I get there in there like They're like Sarah Squire I'm your girls watch this video this guy getting decapitated when his head gets caught between a bus and a lamp Good morning. Well, you don't strike me as a person, you don't like death videos though, right? You're more of like a pimple popper. No, yeah. I like creative gore that's not real.

I don't like when people get hurt, it's upsetting. Except if you're like Steve-O, that's fun, but. Yeah, if you did it on purpose. No, I didn't need to see a homeless guy's head pop off. Like a champagne cork. Have to riff on it. Have to riff on it without cursing for seven minutes. I don't even think I said anything.

I think my mouth was agape while they were like, Sarah Squirmm. But seriously, I love those guys. That's nice that they called you Sarah Squirmm and not your real name. They didn't know. They didn't know they didn't know sure What do you do you guys call me by my real name? I? Mean I just I don't I mean if I say your full name I say Sarah squirm because that's how I knew you Originally, but you to address me you just you say Sarah Sarah. Do you call me anything? I?

Call him Ben O Bald guy me off cuz you guys had a different name for him Betty butt cheeks yeah but he's Ben O bald guy he is to you but he used to be mr. penis of course yeah and then he was mr. cheeks he just kind of feels I mean if you look at Ben, he is like a huge, he's like a walking penis, with that round, smooth head. Have you seen his? Have you seen his prick? Yeah.

I've seen outlines, it's probably nice. Okay. I haven't seen the whole thing, but I can tell he's probably packing. You've seen his millions of times. Yeah, I mean yes. Every time I'm on the pod I mention this, but I've seen it more than you know pass lovers

Shared the garage of course. Yeah, did you get a sneak a peek? No, but he was I you often will warn the room Yeah, cuz when you guys are saying the rise you were probably editing the calendar. Yeah that year Mm-hmm and what this garage this is a real real creative powerhouse What was it for how many how many years ago? Gunglers garage Just confuse it with something from Baltimore called Gunky's Basement, but yeah, it was Gungler's garage What was in Gunky's Basement? Gunky's Basement was a film series Of course, how could you be so stupid?

Gunglers garage was was a film series that Dan used to do. Of course, how could you be so stupid? I don't ask. So dumb. No, Gungler's Garage was, it was based on an idea for a movie that doesn't exist and will never exist. And to explain what the Gungler is, The Gungler was like a horror film. We can't even explain it to you. It doesn't really matter, honestly.

People would then, it's gonna be like a million dollar movie for any of you. But it's called The Gungler and that's what we named we need but we wrote down the idea and we mailed it to ourselves So nobody can steal it. I do have a one piece of paper that explains what you have it. I have it Wow, it's like the Rosetta Stone for the gungler Yes, it explains everything and just to give people context because I think we're speaking about things that we all know right But maybe the listener has no fucking clue. I don't really care about years ago.

Well, I'm the host. I have to rein you in years ago. Not even years ago, maybe four years ago. That's years. Pre pandemic after the pandemic. Oh, it was after pandemic during the first vaccine. And then was during and passed out. So got my first vaccine and then went to the garage and passed out underneath the desk. So 2019 probably is when it started.

No, it was, you started using my studio during the pandemic. My studio. The way he talks to me. Because I moved into that house during the pandemic and I specifically got a huge garage because I needed to have a studio. Okay, so in 2020 Mr. Cheeks lived in LA. Yeah. You still do. You're back, you still do you're back here? You're a nomad right now. You're living in New York

And Sarah had moved from Chicago to LA to make it thank you to make it big in Hollywood. Yes and And you were and Ben had an extra garage and he invited his pals Yes, and you had previously bit tour managed Sarah one of Sarah's tours Yeah, that's how you guys met we met well we met because My group Wham City comedy would come through Chicago as you made our flyer one year You at the merch table So good have you thought about quitting

many national television It was an all it was a sick fire. The fire was so good. Have you thought about quitting national television and becoming a graphic designer? Were you about to say Broadway? No, no, broadcast television. That was what I was doing before that. You were a graphic designer. No, I was just like scamming people into paying me to do like images. No, that's good.

I'm gonna say graphic designer. You were, you were. What the fuck? What, because I'm wearing glasses? Because you were what the fuck I was like whoa cuz I'm wearing glasses You were designing Brooklyn You were designing fucking graphics relax You wanna not be on fucking NBC so bad You wanna be a fucking cool fucking poor person so bad You're in the machine bitch just accept it

You used to be a graphic designer and now you get money from GE Okay I like being on graphic designer and now you get money from G. Okay, I like being honest and I Chip just fucking kick Tell us Sarah. What's Domingo like in real life is one of the most hilarious Is it cool in person not by the way not the who we know and is a cool guy I mean Domingo oh shit I was just got an email we're being served for mentioning Domingo as a I hear the helicopter and I have to go. I hear the rope ladder being lowered.

You hear boots on the fucking, we are on the, well I won't say where we are. Anyway, so that's a little background. You guys go back from then. That's what Gungler's Garage is. It's the place before you, we would just move from Chicago to LA Yes, and Ben had creative space and you rented out a little desk in Ben's fucking Ben's incubator it was the most magical memories my life Do you guys do this thing where you can insert a photo right here? And if you want okay insert a photo right here painted a gorgeous mural in there did yes took weeks Months and that's also how I even like I sort of knew who you were through Ben and you were

just kind of like this entity, this loose entity of the strange woman who rented a desk in his garage. Yep. And that's kind of, that's I would say sort of the beginning of our friendship because I would say so. Ben was so, Ben was so important in both of our lives that just by him spending time with both Of us we just sort of became friends. I felt You were you were very prolific to you were you were doing a lot of shows and putting out a lot of stuff

But he wouldn't wait. He doesn't look at that crap Him clicking on a YouTube link of me popping I've seen some videos. I thought it was cool. But yes, I'm surprised. Him clicking on a YouTube link of me popping pimples? I'd seen some videos, I'd seen some stuff. I thought it was cool, but yes, I'm not watching the whole thing. I'm not laughing, you weren't laughing. No, it was funny. We were both actually kind of like in the adult,

the like end of the adult swim era together, trying to get like late night shit and television shows there. Didn't work out for me. Yeah, me neither. Well, Ben is now my employee, so it didn't work out for me well better is now my employee so it didn't work out so you can tell that things have gone really well you guys would be on the phone all day and night in that garage we would chat a lot and I would

feel like I was part of the familiar clothes that's true you put it on yeah that's true you'd be on speak Probably the first time we ever spoke was on speakerphone through Ben. None of you at home could ever understand. It's like stop and I work talk every day and then also stop. We'll just call me at 3pm just to talk and we'll talk for an hour and a half. It's called being boys. It was awesome. It's awesome. It's called being boys. Yeah, it is fucked up. How like I Truly me and eldest we've talked about this

It's we've spent so much time together and it's like we'll still just sometimes call each other to chat Let's let's say something extremely important for the culture long phone calls with your friends Yes, probably extends your life by like decades I actually think that's true and I think I think this is gonna age me for the rest of my life I am NOT a facetime guy I am a phone call guy and nobody likes that people are either texting only or they're facetime people right no one on earth is a just phone call you know women I've dated there might be a bit of a generation gap find it very strange that I call them on

the phone you know they like it but the first like they're like confused when they get the first phone call they're like what the was this all purpose did you mean to call your lawyer yeah man I'll walk around I'm not gonna say the neighborhood I live in but of course it's for millionaires and billionaires Right next to Robert De Niro. I live in the Empire State Building Walk around the park near my house Scream talking shit to Ruby. Yeah for nine hours straight love that and then someone will be like, oh my god I saw you in the park the other day we you're on the phone. I was like so everyone can hear everything

Everyone knows about the boil on your ass or whatever. Whatever you were discussing. I did think I had a staph infection because I had a pimple on my ass so big that it hurt when I sat down. And then Jack Bensinger was like, he knows that I can be like a paranoiac or whatever. And so he was like, it could be a staph infection

and of course then, like right now I'm convinced that I have a blood infection because my infected hangnail. A blood infection. Yeah, because it's infected and it could be a staph infection. And of course then, like right now I'm convinced that I have a blood infection because my infected hangnail. A blood infection. Yeah, because it's infected and it's gonna travel to my brain. I get infected hangnails all the time and I'm one of the smartest people on earth.

It's because we're so, we have so many, we're so smart, we have so many ideas percolating our head that we're like picking as an idle activity because we're like buzzing. So true. I have so many fucking awesome ideas. I won't get into them, but I have them, but I'm a biter that happens Don't you ever you ever you got to throw a little fucking? What's the fucking antibiotic?

Neosporin on that bitch, you know what I've been waking up in the morning This is interesting with bloody scratches all over my legs. That's ghost. That's you're haunted scratches all over my legs. That's ghost. You're haunted. Yes. My therapist says it's like night terrors and scratches. No, it's an entity. Well, that would be interesting.

What do you think they're from? Do you have a pet? Night terrors. Oh, you scratch yourself. With night terrors. Wow. And maybe like I'm itchy or something. Yeah, yeah, it could be.

But I never, I probably, you think my body is possessed? I think that's one very good sign of possession. Is waking up with scratches on your body. Interesting, what are some other classic signs? Head turning 360. Well that's two on the nose, but what are some? Well, I don't want to say, but getting creeped out by a crucifix. Jewish.

So, start to pile up. That is true. Two extremely strong bullet points. Have you guys ever had a haunting? I've never experienced... I mean I've been creeped out. I've been creeped out, but I've never... I've been scared, but I've never experienced. I mean I've been creeped out Creeped out, but I've never scared

I've seen Ben in a wig Ran up the stairs in the dark see if you can pull it while we're talking see if you pull up a picture Ben In a wig it is awesome, but I in New Orleans I felt and I don't know if that's because I don't know if that's because Ben O'Brien with hair Not enough people know who the fuck Ben O'Brien hairstylist. I mean, that's an oxymoron. There's a lot of Ben O'Brien's in the world and that is true God good luck. Oh look how many, it says Ben O'Brien actor, Ben O'Brien comedian, Ben O'Brien whimsic. There he is. I'm on Wikipedia Because a psychopath put me on there. That's okay. You're allowed to have one. No, but I'm just saying a Psycho- Creative development, Ben O'Brien, let's go. Do you have any pictures of Ben's website?

Yes, there will be, actually. If you search Cry of Man. There we go. Wait, you have hair in that when you were in the- No, I just have a fake beard in that one. Anyway, what was I just discussing? New Orleans. Oh yeah, there is-

I was right back to my website, hilarious. Oh yeah, there he is. Ben. my website hilarious. Oh, yeah, there is He didn't even know was you there's one where you have a blonde wig, oh my god, you look like Italian Ben you gotta get plugs The company will pay for plugs All right, can you get plugs if you're going from nothing? Like he has nothing. I do feel like a very proud bald person and I like to kind of try to act as kind of an inspirational story for other bald people.

That's true. Why if you're bald are you only bald on your head? Not everywhere else. Great question. You think everyone should have alopecia. Like, it's interesting. Like, you go bald, but do your, you know. Pubes?

Pubes bald? No. Do you have a receding pubes one? I think there's something about the head that's special. But you're right, that is cruel. Right. That it would just be the hair that you see. Right.

Why is there no pubed baldness? Right. That might even be nice.'s upkeep. You know what? I actually this is you know ties back to the haunting conversation So let's get back to that no, please I do want to I have way more gray pubes than I do have gray hairs on My head like the ratio was off and it made me feel like my vagina was Because Kesha said that hers She said that her vagina was haunted or something interesting and so then I was kind of like oh is that what's going on with me Could be you know what they say

one sign Is the problem is maybe two? Probably three definitely for sure so you think gray pussy here's Jewish avoidant of the Christian And waking up with scratches right now she's definitely demonic. Oh, yeah, do you have you give you come across any hauntings? Anything other than the sky across any hauntings Sometimes my dreams do telegraph the future No, but sometimes my dreams do telegraph the future. Oh, what? Sarah is an empath. But you don't actually think you've seen the future in your dreams, do you?

No, but... Like, give us an example. Like, I dreamt that I had $20 in a pocket of a coat, and then I... No. You know what? no. You found 20 bucks? Guess what? I'm not putting myself in this position. I'm not wedding. I mean, I think we can know what happened.

I'm not putting my unconscious on the humiliation block for all y'all. Something just special. Your fucking telepathic abilities are just for you. Or just, listen. I 100% believe in your telepathic ability I don't thank you for this. I don't well cuz he knows my chart. Yeah. Oh here we go the cheek zone

Talk about We'll keep that right special patreon only Come back to the cheek zone. We can go through your chart And we can talk about yeah, we'll talk about your telepathic abilities behind the paywall. We got to keep it. We won't clip it. We got to keep it. It's nothing sacred. I respect that stuff. And I've been having a recurring nightmare that I am pooping in a prop toilet. That's an arrested development joke.

What is this? Yeah, yeah. What's his name? Toby. Toby? Who is it? Joe? No, David Cross.

Oh yeah, yeah. Tobias. He's pooping in a fake toilet? He's pooping in a fake toilet. And then he goes to flush it and it doesn't flush. Isn't that also, didn't they do that as a sketch in jackass where they Hit the hardware

No mine is like I Shit in the prop toilet on the set on on like in the studio floor of SNL. It's like the main Stage sure there's a prop toilet in there. I shouldn't it and everybody's like dude. You knew that it's not real You know it's not real, and I'm just saying like I don't know how this happens. I'm sorry I don't know what the fuck blacked out. I was shitting and it was too late when I came to the shit was already in the toilet I'm so so sorry It's really recurrent. What do you think that's about? I think it's about I mean you want me again Is nothing sacred? Oh, we can keep it for the paywall

I You know cuz you know expert that's like anal expression So it's like I've been doing stuff on that stage on TV Yeah, and I'm like you feel like the shame and embarrassment afterwards about putting yourself out there Yeah, so I've been putting my I the shame and embarrassment afterwards about putting yourself out there So I've been putting my I'm in place a metaphor for your work. Yes dog shit. Yes human shit It's your shit being seen by others. Yeah, it's just you know, it's Vulnerable than people looking at your shit. That's true. My god, I would never hold directly but other than that

There's something more I would Show you a picture of my poop before I show you my hole, which is barely a hole More bragging. Yeah, it's a little hole we get it I wouldn't even hold a hole. Oh, you're like stalactites and stalagmites. It's a cave opening. Thank you. You know, life is full of funny little occurrences, such as the people we love most are often the hardest to shop for. Luckily, there's one gift that everyone on your list is sure to enjoy, an Aura digital

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Oh yeah, because... That little toilet. Because there was a weird... I remember that little toilet. There was a weird, like, you had to crawl under the house to get to this weird toilet that we weren't supposed to be using. That was also technically your neighbor's property. It was our landlord's area. She didn't want us using it, but we were like, we're gonna

go upstairs every time. It was really annoying not to go upstairs. And that we basically had you had a crawl in your hands and needs to go I remember I was like washed in that toilet floors and stuff and go in there and it felt like a hobo's toilet. Oh Fuck yes, what I mean Do you know that like coffee replacement called not really though? I was trying mushroom shit. Yeah, I think Yeah, I mean, you I know free whatever but so Fucks been out lines main mushroom. Yeah, it's like mushrooms and whatever and chocolate and I was Like cocoa, you know, I was Trying to get off gaffing trying to use that but it has chai powder in it and for some people apparently me as well

It gives you incredible diarrhea. Oh, no, I fully shit my pants. Like emptied your bow. Yeah, fully. And I just like. He was sitting at his desk. He wasn't even like, oh I'm on the train and I have to go shit. Oh my God, I'm so happy.

You're just like, like typing you're like huh everything and then I went you know I took care of it and I just kind of like casually walked upstairs through everything and like the washer and dryer and it just was like and they texted me don't come to the garage ash I can't what would have happened if I was just out of the house like I was saying it was crazy I always carry you're on the bus. I carry a bag with me now like it's in my trunk your shit I will change of clothes. Yeah, I mean that's insane because once it happens once you're like you had no warning whatsoever There are people who I have met in my life every time I shit. It's an emergency

I have met people who are like, oh, you know, they're like, oh, I can't shit out of the house. And I'm like, I can't even imagine a reality in which that is true for me. Right, right, right, right, right. Like, there's been so many moments where you're like, yeah, of course I'd love to be in my home toilet, but I get hit with something unstoppable

that needs to be addressed in the closest, what's the closest hole someone's dug into the ground I will be squatting over it and taking care of business can you imagine like holding a shit I don't even think I have we I know what you mean I've weirdly been able to do it recently and it's because I started like I don't know it's all mental like I've like apparently I don't know, it's all mental. Like I've, like. Apparently. I don't know, but I think it's only in specific circumstances for me

because like it's happened when, like I've been on stage and I've been like, really had to shit and then it just like disappears and the second I'm like, all right, good night everyone. It's like. And I'm like, I'm like fucking shoving eldest past. I'm like, get the fuck out the fucking toilet. And I'm just fucking shoving eldest pass. I'm like And I'm just shitting so fast and

The same things happen like I've never I never thought I would fucking act And so I never it's the same your brain does the same shit where it's like if I have Like I've and there's so many snacks on a set and they bring you like the front They bring you so many fucking there's like like you know a fucked up cheesy breakfast burrito I'll smash that I'll have four uncrustables I'll have a fucking couple iced coffees, and then I'll be like well in any other Universe I am shitting in 12 minutes from now, but I it's happened on tires multiple times where I've eaten Disgust and there's a wah- while I know Wendy's right by where we shoot I've supplemented some of our lunches there I have put

disgusting things in my body that normally would trigger the biggest shit avalanche of all time and I'm I've been constantly worried hasn't happened in the same thing happens the second we get to like where the trailers are I take one of the most fucked up ships in the universe in a little ass trailer like my thighs They're dry No water neutral is the best poor. It's like the best porta potty toilet

It's a personal porta potty toilet, so you can handle that I can handle that but it is Atrocious stuff I have had to like good, and this is little peek behind the actors. Yeah, yeah. This is Hollywood. I'm basically James Lipton. Yeah. So where have you shit the most, Sarah? You do a thing where if you have to shit on a set,

you're miked. So you say 10-1, that's peeing, or 10-2 is pooping, or 10-3, who knows? Jacking off. Jacking off. Notting. Yeah. And I have like literally just started unannounced

sprinting off of a set, screaming into my shirt mic, ten two, ten two! Otherwise then they'd be listening. Yeah, yeah, well I never, I don't care at all about being mic'd, that's such a good point. People have heard me shit, people have heard me piss. I don't.

I don't, I personally don't. I think you do. I want to say something but it's. You don't have to say it. It'll be. You're, what is it? I did a show where we had ear pieces in. And you can hear other people shit?

I, I heard someone pee. And I am still kind of, I'm pretty sure they heard me take a rancid diarrhea. Oh. Oh. Now when you heard them pee, could you hear them go like, ah, or was it just the stream? I heard like really pleasant like, oh hey, oh hey. How's it going?

Oh, good to see you, good to see you. And so I was like, I wasn't gonna say anything to the sound guy, like hey, oh hey, how's it going? Oh good to see you, good to see you. And so I was like, I wasn't gonna say anything to the sound guy, like hey turn this person's mic off, or whatever, and then kind of like they were talking in the bathroom really pleasantly, and then so I was totally like thrown off the stand. So basically what I'm trying to figure out is, it was you, they heard your grunts,

it wasn't just the shit hitting the pole. They heard like ah They heard that stuff that's so much worse than the splash of the shit You're in there like an assassin you take diarrhea the way John wick kills a henchman. It's just like silencer no one knows It's not like a passionate like most people may have diarrhea. It's a problem. They're like oh for you You know you've been there before what is this a day that ends in? You a little more fiber in your diet, buddy It's what it sounds like. You gotta say what you...

Oh, fiber! Oh, Sarah, have a less stressful drink. Listen, it's Judaism, it's a disease. It's not... That's who you are. That's just what I am. I get that. It's nothing you could do is gonna change.

You don't think I've been down this? I don't think you really have, honestly. I actually don't. I think you've accepted it. Girl! I think you've accepted it I think you've accepted that you're a person that must live with diarrhea I know you haven't really taken true steps to fix it I have had tubes shoved down my throat oh well shoved up my ass I've been I'm in psychoanalysis three times a week

which is too much by the way one One will cut it. Whatever they're doing, those extra two sessions. Not working. It's definitely not working. But I'm figuring out that the toilet thing is a symbol for something else. That's good. You could have figured that out on WhatDoMyDreamsMean.com I'm just listening. Three a week is fucking nuts.

I believe in therapy. We talked about this last time I think. Where I told you to stop doing it three times a week. Oh I have a different therapist I think though. Oh cool. This therapist, so the first two are the same therapist and then the third one is a new therapist to kind of talk about the sessions with the other therapists. That's why you guys have me on annually.

Three is self-indulgent. Three a week? Well because it's my week off. When I'm working it's two. Two! You're doing one of the most stressful TV shows in the history of time. indulgent three a week. Well, because I'm on it's my week off. When I'm working, it's two. Okay. You're doing one of the most stressful TV shows in the history of time. You have to go to therapy.

Twice though you have time. Girl, you have fucking time. Does he want to hear about it on the phone? No. That's why I pay a guy who's in love with me. Oh yeah, I'm sure that's how he feels. It's like, well, once you develop your dynamic with the therapist, how he feels. You know the whole thing with therapists, right? They are in love with me. Well, once you develop your dynamic with the therapist, that's actually the thing you have to work through with the therapist. No, we're good. We're good. Because that's actually your way that you project. Oh, interesting. So you think everyone's in love with you.

Of course. I told you, I'm a pog. What was the, you mentioned Judaism. What was your bar mitzvah, what was your bat mitzvah look? Did you get to go crazy on that? It was April Fool's Day, of course. So my theme was being hilarious. You had an April Fool's Day bat mitzvah? Incredible. Did everybody have to sit on whoopee cushions? The invitations were snakes in a can that I delivered to their house. That's right. Incredible. Did everybody have to sit on whoopee cushions? The invitations were snakes in a can that I delivered to their house. That's actually awesome. It's awesome, except if you were old,

we didn't wanna give anyone a heart attack. Of course. Of course. And then during the bat mitzvah service, you get up on the stage and you're like, whatever, and I was like, fucking. You were crushing? You were doing a roast? You were roasting everyone?

They had a like, there's like a part of it, because I went to like a conservative synagogue and they do like all this shit. It's like a 12 hour service. So I was like, gotta give them a show. Gotta liven this up. And they're like. So this is during the service, not afterwards.

No, this is in the conservative synagogue temple. You're in the little pulpit reading from the book or whatever? Yeah, and you get, you know, and I just remember they go like the sisterhood of like Jerusalem would like to present you with these candlesticks blah blah And I go yeah, just what I always wanted Did he get a laugh You've been chasing that ever since, huh? Oh my god. A hundred!

A hundred billion percent! That's a great one. I have to give you, that's like you're 13 and you had that that idea of presentation. Dude. The snakes in the can. Dude. What about the outfit? Did you mention that? Dude. Betsy Johnson, head to fucking toe. Love that. Shoes match the belt little tiny Jew fro braces

With the rubber bands matching my motherfucking My party was a karaoke party I sang rock sand by the police Cool That's awesome Nanya none. Yeah could be friends with me when I was 13. Yeah, right Yeah, right. You know the guy went to a couple bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. Did you tear it up like I did? I was Honestly, I was like this fucking I was in awe of what a great scam

It was like they my friends made so much money and the spread was great I was comparing it to like and I was like I was like what and cuz Greek you basically that's it's a baptism Essentially you guys just get your baptism later when you get to experience We get to actually experience it and like I was like cuz I was go that was you know I was going to a bunch of besters I was like I cause I was going, that was, you know, I was going to a bunch of baptisms, I was like, I like these, these are fun, but they would have been so much more fun if I was like,

like my own baptism, I didn't get to fuck it. And the spread was great. I remember every bar mitzvah I went to, it was like, they went all the fuck out. It was fucking, cause it is like a, it's kinda like a parent to dick measuring contest. You can't, it's, so like, you get, like, I remember like, there's like fucking a carving station

with like filet mignon and like the fucking, we were in like the nicest place I'd ever been. Like they were renting out these great halls and stuff like that and I was like, these motherfuckers. Dude, Leonard's Villa Palazzo on Northern Boulevard in Grayneck was home to the most amazing bar mitzvahs you've ever seen. And it is the, you know, it's like.

Wow, Northern Boulevard, it runs all the way to Astoria. Yes, man, we can go visit my parents right now. We can take it right now. We can take it right now. It's a long island. Yeah. It's a long island. And I'm like, I've been to so many bar mitzvahs at Leonard's

that, you know, it's like gold, you know, gaudy staircases, big giant chandeliers that you could see from the street, from Northern Boulevard of course. And I'm like, when I was watching Sopranos, and I go, I recognize that fucking chandelier anywhere at Johnny Sachs' daughter's wedding. Johnny Sachs' daughter's wedding

was where you had your bar mitzvah players. Not my bar mitzvah, but where I had been to. I didn't get bar mitzvah under a big chandelier? I will say that my parents had they were too nice yes But you had been to other Millions yeah billions, and I recognize those chandeliers fucking anywhere yep that Daughters wedding I remember that's a great. That's a classy joint. It's a classy joint Everywhere how far Google just so actually I would like to know how far away We are from it whether we can host an event there at Leonard's at Leonard's Palazzo. How far is it from a story of Queens? There we go

5555 North oh my god Okay, it's okay Directions, bro 555 North, oh my god, I couldn't even say the number. Help, help. It's okay, you're doing fine. So what's Celsius there? Just go hit directions, bro. Yeah, yeah. And then put in the exact address of where we are. Just put Astoria, Queens, man. Oh, so they know where you live.

They know it's Astoria. Oh, dude, a half hour? Dude, we're there! We're basically there, dude. We gotta do something at Lerner's Palazzo. And look, that hospital is where I was born. Don't tell them. What does it matter?

Were they gonna find your records? We can bleep it out. I don't give a fuck. They found out I was born. Wait go check out. Let me show you. Yeah you didn't fucking hatch from an egg. You can see if you look at the picture of the building you can see what I'm talking about seeing the chandelier from an egg. Yeah. You can see if you look at the picture of the building, you can see what I'm talking about, seeing the chandelier from the street. If you go to the exterior. Or even just the Google image of the building.

Oh shit. Fuck, you're blowing it. It's over. It's over, Eldis. Cut your losses. Keep it moving. Get out of the screen. Leonard's Palazzo. And was that was Leonard a Jewish man who liked Italian culture?

I don't know. Leonard feels like a Jewish name but Palazzo. Yeah. Obviously, you know, whoever he is, he's the biggest celebrity to me in the world. That's just like covering all the Long Island bases. That's true. That is absolutely true. Folks, the days are getting shorter.

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holiday traditions? Because if you said you're conservative Jewish background, any Christmas at all? No it was, we weren't even allowed to... Acknowledge Jesus' birth? Yes. After we killed him? Well, I didn't want to say it. Wow, who are you, the old ladies at my church growing up?

Dude, I remember having to have that guy, we were like, you gotta chill on that, grandma. Like, some lady bringing... I remember one time a friend brought a Jewish friend to an Easter, and we had a friend who had like this crazy Easter and this decrepit woman was like, a lot of nerve showing your face around. Like mad at this like 11 year old Jewish kid because of, she was like, hmm, kind of classless move bringing a Jew to Easter. And we were like, all right lady, you gotta go.

Meanwhile Easter wouldn't even happen. Exactly. You're welcome. Yeah, in some ways, they set it in motion. It's more traditional that way to have some Jews there. It was historically accurate. We're re-creating it. The booing of the Jew.

Boo on Easter Sunday. I have a question. He died, came back to life behind the rock. Yep, totally Push the rock. Yeah, nobody was there. Nobody was there, but then he rose Whatever. That's the rising. That's the rising but then how did he die again? He just zoomed up He just went I was just like, oh, I just went super sane up in the heaven. Is he technically still alive? No, I think-

No, he got out of the thing, he looked down, and he was like, fuck this shit. I'm just going up there. Here's what I think, and it's actually kind of sick, and this is what I stopped thinking. I was an altar boy, I should know this, but apparently, in that time, legit, this is fucking cool, he went to hell for like three days

and fucked Satan up, I believe. For like, that's what he was doing when he was dead. He was just fucking and that's a cool That's like why doesn't fucking Kevin Sorbo give us that movie and then he came all about just the white It's basically that so I mean isn't wasn't Tolkien the big Jesus guy Yeah, but yeah, essentially that is what happens I think and so yeah I think he spends 40 days like teaching people after he died like we have to came back and then he just super saiyans up And then he's like Tom. That's where we get doubting Thomas He's like Thomas you motherfucker you see this shit and

Tom's like nah, you aren't dead some fucking this is some voodoo shit or something so anyway But that's and that's important to know guys Jesus birthday is coming up. We pretty much Christmas is his birthday. Just birthday Easter is his death, but then Resurrection resurrection. Yeah, but what is there a holiday? Good Friday is the day we day dies and then Sunday He comes back and what's damn you didn't know that That's why he's not dude. That was so awesome We got to get off on Good Friday and like my parent your parents would write your note I think it was again a little jealousy of how many holidays Jews got cuz you guys it was like what the fuck they're gone

All my friends would be gone. I'm like starving. Yeah, you guys got so many extra holidays and then my mom Would write me a note and like I the first year I pretended to be fucking so sad, I was like, fuck dude, today's when Jesus died. And I pretended to be sad. Pretending to be disturbed by it, it's so awesome. I was pretending to be sad, and then like the next year I was just fully playing Madden all day. It was one year where I was like, I hope,

and it was more like if Jesus is watching me, I gotta pretend to be sad. He can't, I used his death as a way out and then the next year I'm like, whatever Yeah, he's fucking that reminds me of when I find out that pink I was like something you could stay home with but it didn't make you feel bad And so I got pink eye from this kid on purpose Stayed home your eyes it's what I didn't it didn't fuck me up at all I just had a weird red eye and then I rubbed it into my other eye. I got two days off Wow

No, I just was like yes, they kissed rub rub some of that in there You like what you are like this and like yeah took it from his eye Took it from his eye. That's fucking hilarious, dude. You're it. I love staying home. Self-harmed. That's fucking awesome. You self-harmed.

I guess. I just felt like it was a... Mild self-harmed. I felt like it was a gimme kind of, you know? Yeah, watch your little prices, right? I didn't want to miss school because I would miss what was going on. Wow. Not even in a class pet way.

No gossipy way. I just like the action. Of course. You know what I'm saying? Of course. I just like get the action. Of course, of course. I know, I do know what you mean. And then like you're a kid, so a day is like an eternity. So it's like, if I'm gone for a whole fucking day, like everyone's gonna forget I exist. Right, right, right.

Everyone, no one's gonna care if I live or die. I mean, this is more, this is better than therapy. You're getting more done. You're getting more done here You're getting more done here. Your need for constant attention. Your therapist is like, I liked your sketches last night. Can you tell me more about them? No, legit, my therapist kind of said the other day,

would it be helpful for us to discuss the... I know it! Paywall, paywall, come back. He was like, do you think it'll be helpful for us to discuss the films of David Lynch? Oh my, I mean, you're just paying this guy to be friends with him now. No, it wouldn't be, let me answer that, no.

Whoa! The fact that somebody asked that means you need a new therapist again. You're just like, what's Sabrina Carpenter like? And how do you feel about what she's like? Yeah, it's so interesting that you said that. she's yeah you've been dreaming about Sabrina Carpenter yeah in what ways she's the first person to find you shit Sabrina Carpenter comes out she's like she lowers herself down this is paywall

paywall okay we can say lunch talk forwall. This is lunch talk. We can save for lunch talk. This is lunch because it's been really disturbing the way she's been appearing. Come back and I'll just say in union. Vividly accurate Sabrina Carpenter. The next time there's an SNL break folks we will be putting Sarah behind the paywall and discussing how Sarah or how fucking Sabrina Carpenter appears to her dreams. She's been delivering a really important message. I want you to know my unconscious you are seen and you are heard and the symbols are being delivered. God damn. All right, let's finish.

Let's ask. Let's just talk about the holidays briefly. You said you weren't even allowed to entertain any Christmas adjacent. No, to the point where my my dad works in the shmata business. OK, we were in midtown Manhattan in the garment district. And I'm walking around. I'm like, you know, how old you when you're this big? And you know, I wanted to be a movie star, of course I wanted to be a big famous comedian like Jerry Seinfeld. Already? Wow Fascinating and of course, I didn't know that I didn't I didn't have that yet. Well, you wanted to be like I don't want to be Pikachu

No, I didn't want attention. Don't get me wrong. I was like I want me wrong I was a Spice Girl but no no I literally thought I've talked about this before the show when I was like a little kid I was like I'm fucking I'm the man I was I'm so I was like I'm fucking hot I'm a good singer like I thought I was gonna be like a super like I thought I was gonna be like if Harry Styles is also the best actor in the world I thought I was fucking sexy dude I was gonna be the hottest guy of all time But I didn't comedy hadn't see I still had higher aspirations than comedy for so I'm actually worse than you know I was humble

Than I was like that's it that's me period I'll do that no problem. That's the only option That's awesome walking down the street Midtown Manhattan feeling myself Of course were you ever in New York City when you were a kid? No, not we when we would take field trips with my church and we would literally come to Astoria We would come to Astoria to go to the Greek grocery specialty store We would buy CDs from the Greek CD shop and they would we would go to Manhattan we would go to The Met to watch to see the ancient Greek exhibit and they would, we would go to Manhattan, we would go to the Met to see the ancient Greek exhibit

and we would come back to Astoria. Like we, it was like a day trip and we never like walked, we never saw like the statue of, we didn't do any of that shit. The Greek people are so crazy. Yeah, it was so funny. And that's why I moved here, it was the only neighborhood I knew.

I was like, all right, well I guess I'll go where I've been to four times. right, but it was famous to you It was famous and then I later on I did take I took a really like important trip when I was I think 15 where it was just me and my friends on a mega bus and we went to like we actually Walked through New York, and I went with my friend who I ended up she used to live in this room We moved together. We're still like you know we she we she was the first one moving in York then eldest than me But we took a trip where it was just us. We didn't do any Greek shit. We got barked into the comic strips We went to like a 5 p.m. Show at the comic strip where it's like eight people and I was like, whoa, this is magic

I was like so dark in here. Well drinking it was awesome Oh my god, and I was like I'm gonna do maybe I was like, it's so dark in here. We're drinking. It was awesome. Oh my God. And I was like, I'm going to do maybe I was older than 15, actually, because I think I hadn't done stand up yet, but it was like really in my mind and that almost solidified it for real. Like walking around New York and going to the comic strip and like, yeah. But anyway, how old are you when you first did stand up? It was my freshman year at a fucking like open mic in the basement of my dorm So I was probably 18

16 the hog pit NYC a no longer existing barbecue restaurant Because you could you could do the mic. It wasn't a bar. Yeah, restaurant game on nobody paying attention I were a bowtie. What was one of your jokes? Um something about They found my virginity on the or no someone brought my virginity onto the antiques road show You already were making jokes about you being on a fuckable old woman and you were 16 about you being an unfuckable old woman and you were 16. I was just saying like, I remember, what am I, what was it like, oh you feel bad that my parents have to live with me, I have to live with me forever.

That's not a bad joke, classic, yeah, yeah. That's a good one. I don't get no respect, no respect at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good stuff. So you're walking down, you're little, you think you're Jerry Seinfeld. Dude, I'm not, when you're strutting Down in the town. I can't even imagine and you're like I'm like two or whatever

Well you know the street and one of my dad's friends who also worked in a schmata Which is it means rags and Yiddish garment whatever? which is, it means rags in Yiddish, garment, whatever. My dad's friend who also worked in like, making little girls' dresses for Kmart or something, was like, oh no, he made little girls' dresses for Macy's and he saw me walking down the street and he was like, dude, your daughter's cute as shit. She's gotta be in our Christmas catalog.

And my dad was like, no, no. And I was like, but I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I wanna be a superstar. I said whatever, they relented and let me do it. It was for like a brochure. And I remember, oh, they were like, orthopedic shoes for the homely girl in your life. For the homely toddler. They were like, so I begged my parents to let me do it. And they were like, fine, fine, they relented, whatever. I remember I had to get up at like six in the morning, go to the photo shoot, hair, makeup.

I'm feeling like a fucking superstar. And they put me in a little Christmas dress, which is something I had never worn. So I felt like, dude, putting on a little Christmas dress, velvet, poofy, you feel like it's like magic. You're wearing this little cupcake dress, you feel like a fucking. I was like.

The high of being Christian, everything. Oh yeah. You've been chasing that your whole life? They pulled me out, a little pull up. I felt unbelievable. And then they plopped me at the base of a Christmas tree with a bunch of presents. I was like...

Wow. Like Hollywood, glamour, lights, camera, whatever. I'm fucking posing. I'm gonna like... Yeah. And they had me with a teddy bear, whatever. Uh-huh. Felt like a million bucks.

I could actually cry thinking about how special I felt yeah every day every Weekend morning I would tear open the brochures looking for myself looking for myself Could never find the pictures never saw the pictures of me whoa Macy's crazy didn't make the cut and I go you'd made it up or you dreamed about it or came to you in a dream I'm sorry Seinfeld my Opened her mouth in a video of you doing that came out in your dream And my dad goes my dad goes they didn't put you in the brochure because they said you look too Jewish Because he was trying to like whatever you think that was true or do you think he was trying to turn you against Christianity?

And then years later I like and then I you know I forgot about this oh my god years later Incredible like 18. I'm remembering the first time I felt like a like a movie star. I'm going where are the pictures? Yeah, I have at least for myself. I need to see my mom had the negatives I'm looking at the pictures mind you was six in the morning when I took these pictures I'm looking at the pictures. I'm like I Look like shit Do you have those anyway my parents will have them but it's like you use it just cuz I looked like you You need those pictures. Are you kidding me? Please get those pictures

I'm like, I know how to smile because you know, we're really smiling. It doesn't look like of course Yeah, yeah, yeah, and they just didn't use them. Oh here Sarah. We gotta get your own pictures But my dad was like, yeah, of course. My dad's like your superstar. Yeah Hollywood, but he's like dude Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a share Hollywood, but he's like, dude, you're too Jewish. And that's why he's like, sure. Right, he couldn't let you know that you just blew it.

You were a little kid who blew it, that's okay. Your first taste of stardom, you weren't ready for the bright lights. You figured it out, buddy. That's incredible. I felt like such a movie star. Next time, next time. I mean, you're doing it right now.

Let me pee. Go pee. The holidays are here. You're spending time with your family. You're trying to take it easy. You're probably tired of talking to them, yapping. Why don't you check out what our friends at Game Time have. See what kind of nice events you can go to. You know what I mean?

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Who knows whatever it maybe I want to see a fucking ball game. Well, let's go to let's go see the Military Bowl Navy and Army are playing I believe on Saturday 28th. Yes Mm-hmm You get in there for 70 bucks. That's a fucking steal. What's beautiful about Game time they have all-in pricing. Okay, you can tackle this feature on you're not surprised by a bunch of fees You know exactly what you're getting seat views You get a panoramic view from your seat in the app before you buy lowest price guarantee or game time will credit you a hundred percent 110 percent of the difference and you have Game Time ticket coverage,

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ah and we're back and we're ready to help the people with the wisdom that Sarah has accrued from maybe I don't know 4,000 therapy sessions in her life how many do you think total? 10,000? Yeah, maybe 100,000 hours. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Suck on that, Gladwell. This bitch is putting in 100,000 hours. Yeah, you've achieved mastery of being a...

Being going to therapy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. All right, and we should say here also, I should start doing this, it's already too late. We're gonna have to do like, we're gonna have to pre-record shit for the episodes we already did, Eldest, but the Dreamboat tour is now out, folks. Buy tickets to it. They're going fast. They've probably already sold out. Yeah, most of them are probably sold out.

Probably already gone. The tour that starts in February. That's such a good name for a tour. Thank you. Wait till you see some of the art. Did you have anything to do? Oh, Oh come on. I may have. Of course he did. Buy your tickets, watch the movie, let's start a cult. Hopefully it's streaming somewhere by now on December 9th. You could rent it already, VOD, but we're trying to get it on a streamer. Anyway, and yeah, the tour is the important thing. Buy some tickets and new stuff, nothing on the special, obviously. And that's it.

And then, Sarah, anything you'd like to? Listen, if I've got a show going on December 9th, of course, maybe there's gonna be future shows. Just go to it. I don't understand why you guys don't wanna go. So many more people that want to not go to my show then go to my show You know I'm saying I hate that I hate that I agree more you're going to a city You've got like listen. I'm no stave. I probably got like 300 seats in my theater bad

But more there are more than 300 people in the city that I'm probably sure and you can't yeah, that is true I never think of it that way There's probably like a hundred there's at least I always thought of thousands of people that when we struggle to get 50 people in New York City or something I'd be like there's eight million Wow That is really depressing yeah, well go see Sarah's show so she doesn't you know oh? And Ben can attest, not a bad show. Not a bad show.

Good show. Not a bad show. I had friends come when you were in Baltimore. Oh really? Sarah's not one of these. The most terrible. I know it's a bad venue for comedy. When they told me where it was, it was almost like I'm not going to tell her so she doesn't

like dread it the whole time. I know. But I opened for Tignotaro there and I was so pumped back in the day and it was so bad cuz No one's listening. It's for the ceilings are high as shit ceilings are high as shit, and they're made of like aluminum siding The rain was louder than on the roof was louder than me which is basically impossible Louder than me So go see Sarah if she has dates coming up Basically impossible. Louder than me. So go see Sarah.

If she has dates coming up, we've already put them in the episode. Just do a little clicking. And time to really help some people. Hey, Stav, Eldest Guest's audience. I've got a quick question for you about a sister-in-law of mine. Before I get to that though, just wanted to real quick say it's an enormous pleasure to see your success unfold. From the sidelines, you know, it seems very well deserved.

Good job, man. It's awesome to see. I appreciate it. Anyway, my last bit of a shit show in 2024, getting divorced, wife cheated on me with my best friend kind of shit. I can't really get into it. It's all up in the courts and shit. Oh my God. So in 2024, getting divorced, wife cheated on me with my best friend kind of shit.

I can't really get into it. It's all up in the courts and shit. Oh my god, in the courts? Anyway, around the time it became public, within my family that were getting divorced, my sister-in-law, she started showing up, being a real support and a friend. So we developed a bit of a friendship you know one time we were drinking got a bit hammered she confessed to me about some problems she's had at her marriage oh she's married the this is his ex's sister

You know, I kind of we commiserated and I've happened a few more times. Eventually. She kind of confessed her feelings for me to me I'm not gonna say I have like no moral culpability here. I did In one way or another tell her that you know under different circumstances. This is Something that would maybe be interesting to me. I'm being very generous to myself and how I'm really in no shit Anyway, I guess the question is What what is like my moral responsibility to my brother here? Your fucking brother

This was his ex's sister, which is like I was about to be like hey man It ain't the cleanest thing but this would be pretty funny You almost get a pass to fuck your ex who cheat you you're gonna do a worse thing This isn't even your best friend. This is your fucking brother you fucking piece of shit. You gotta pitch down his voice so he can't get traced. You gotta go into witness protection. We need him to get traced. Oh my god. I guess let's finish this but Jesus Christ. The way I see it I could either give him a heads up like, hey your your wife's kind of behaving this way and definitely blow up their marriage,

or I could just kind of sit on the sidelines and maybe things work out. Jesus Christ, dude. If I'm not- Good fucking God. Too receptive to the things that she says to me, I don't know, man. If you're not too receptive. It's a fucking bullshit situation It's not but yeah, let me know what you think about that

Thanks, man again really Pleased to see really nice All right, it's become clear what he's doing It's become clear what he's doing. Buttered me up and then ended with a compliment because I was about to fucking blow his ass up. And listen, as pleased as you are in my success, you're a piece of shit, man.

You cannot behave this way. It's your fucking brother's wife? Are you out of your fucking mind? If any of you even thought of betraying my brother in this way? Well, I don't know, but it's how hot his wife is, If any of you even thought of betraying my brother in this way Well, I don't know but it's been so hot his wife is to be honest with you I wouldn't want to cut your brother, but if his wife was really hot and she tried to fuck me I can't I can't promise I wouldn't I just can't can I use the same math?

I was using earlier about Millet hundreds of millions of people living in a city. Yes, you can there are hundreds of millions If not billions of trillions of people living in a city? Yes, you can. There are hundreds of millions, if not billions of trillions of people. And your brother's wife doesn't count as hundreds of millions of people in the world that you can have sex with. You're out of your fucking mind. And I also- Is nothing sacred?

I love it too because she's like, all right, is it time to flip on this bitch and rat her out to my brother That's how he's looking at it. It's not like should I be a good fucking person stop first of all You can't speak this woman ever again me what the fuck also cut it off What's also she's complaining to you about her marriage? Who's your brother? Yeah? Someone's talking shit. I mean unless your brother's a piece of shit You have a really bad relationship, but that doesn't really fit here's what it feels like you're a weak weak man you're a weak little fucking slug of a man who

yes your life got fucked up and I'll give you that I'll give you that I can see why the initial conversation you were like hurt your wife completely fucked you over and you're at a very low point, right? I Am even willing to give you one mulligan for not immediately Not even immediately cutting it off right not immediately being like I'm going to give you the fact that you're sad you were date You're kind of but you knew what was going like we all have been in these situations Where it's somebody you really shouldn't and there's a little, that adds a little,

that sprinkles a little something to it. So you're like, well, we're just friends. We're going out to lunch. It's not a big deal. And you know, you can feel it when you're in that snowball, especially someone that doesn't get pussy. When you feel it happening, you're like, wait, something's off here.

And then when it's, and then you, who you said it yourself, you're being a little generous when you're like, oh's off here and then when it's and then you Who you said it yourself? You're being a little generous when you're like, oh in a different circumstance Maybe we that's not what he said. He was like if you were my brother's wife I'd fuck you right here. Like you probably said that you know what I mean? You're gotta get you gotta stop this bro. And yes, you have to look within yourself To how you will get absolution for your sins. I mean this is fucking crazy. I'm confused as to how they're spending so much time together alone.

Like, they get in a fight and then she's like, I'm gonna go hang with your brother all night. That is true. Like, what's going on? Well, your brother's probably like, well that's my brother. There's no way anything could possibly be going on. Yeah. I agree with you, but at the same time, that is a missing piece here.

I know there's no way it could possibly go on, but it's like, even if, like even if I was having a really hard time, and one of my sister-in-laws like took me out to lunch and we talked it over, right? That'd be normal if we had lunch every day. That'd be fucking weird. And even if it's like, even if there is nothing, even if you don't suspect

anything like this level, it would be weird to see your sister-in-law this much absent. Now it'd be different if they're coming over as a couple. And it's like, are your families coming to support you? But like something is off in general. He's not saying he's planning. He's not asking, should I act on off in general. He's not saying he's planning. He's not asking, should I act on this? He's just saying, what do I do?

But at the same time, it's like even asking that question, it's like you. I know you do is like, stop talking to her. Of course. Back away. Yeah. And. Yeah, dude, completely stop talking to her. It does sound it does sound like theoretically he has like no plans of like following through and fucking her but Even just yeah, I mean he's also being very weirdly particular about the way he's saying things Yeah, yeah, I don't know they could have done something and he didn't I don't think he's done anything

You don't think so, but I also and I know that right now in this moment in time. He's like well obviously I'm not gonna fuck but there's probably a moment in time where he was like well obviously I'd never tell her I have any feelings for her. That's weird like this is the classic escalation thing Yeah, I'm glad you came to us before anything crazy has happened, but yeah It's like he's like should I not tell my brother and then just continue going on as it is He's like staring at her tits when she's getting like potato salad at the fucking cookout or something They have already they're already in a very this is like an emotional affair situation They have already crossed a line. It's not a physical line, but this is incredibly fucked up already

So yes, absolutely get out of here. Why, what is your relationship with your brother? Why are you closer to your sister-in-law? Do you think he should tell his brother? I think, I think you should go ahead. I don't, don't say another goddamn word for the rest of your fucking life. Yeah.

Put your hands up, back away slowly, join a convent. Yeah. Can you guys? You can't say anything, like you can't clue your brother Yeah, put your hands up back away slowly join a con man You can't Clue your brother into this like it there's nothing you can do I'm not have to let that play out and even dreams are gonna be fucking crazy And even if right even if Yeah, I mean You're right. He really can't say shit because then his brother's like, well, how do you know?

Right. He's like, well, I've been kinda fuckin' chatting with her. I've been talking to her for two hours a day on the phone. But like, I do feel like there is a possibility that the brother, this relationship is fucked up. Like, we don't know, is the brother cheating on her? Like, how fucked up is he? But even still?

That is not your kid. This is your fucking brother's wife brother. Hey, you're so right Put put your fucking gun down Surrender yourself put your hands behind your back and fucking lay on the pavement your badge in your gun Yeah, and don't don't you dare think about? Following up on this investigation without Authority so this is fucked up You got to get out of here and like I am wondering why aren't you close to you like? Have you talked to your brother? What is your relationship with your fucking brother? Yeah, have you guys talked at all like what's going on here?

I'm really really fucking confused so Yeah, don't do this get get the fuck out of it, stop talking to her, and maybe just talk to your brother about his marriage in general terms, if you want to, but even still, I would say just get the fuck out. Yeah, just back away. Well, it's like if his brother and her break up, then he doesn't get to have her in his life,

because now he has proximity to her because of his brother You know what? She's gotta be out of his life in any way shape or form. You can't continue this. She's just not someone you can ever be with. My brother? If anyone disrespected my brother in this way. But it would be you in this scenario. No, but I'm just like the thought of my brother being betrayed in any way brings me to tears. Of course.

Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Imagine if you betrayed him. I could never! I think you could. Never. If, I don't know, if you were sitting on some really good clown costumes you didn't want you to have. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha himself sacrifice when you push the rock away or whatever I like Jesus would

sacrifice that's how much I love my that's beautiful that's incredible that's beautiful maybe we'll convert you yet that's what this whole podcast is about is bringing you over to the light of the Lord all right well yeah that's fucking crazy and set a boundary say we can't talk get her the fuck out of your life out of your life like this is fucking weird and you know what I would even say like be prepared to cut a woman that do behaving like that off be prepared for things to get messy you might want to talk to your brother to get in front of the fucking get in front of the story yeah you know what call the

cops on her because adultery is illegal yeah Yep. Yeah And they do the Lord okay When you see something like this happening him being like we can't talk anymore and her going to her husband and being like Your brother's been trying to fuck me for money. It depends on how not like, you know How does that by the way because the real answer here is? You like the actual good person? Fests up to what you've done answer is Stop this immediately Tell your brother be like dude. I don't know how the fuck this happened. I was fucking sad because all this shit

I never did nothing, but we just she she's you know like and be be honest that whore was throwing herself at me Don't absolve yourself of guilt, but that is the actual right thing to do Is it the cleanest thing in the world? No, but that's probably how you like It's hard for me even fathers because this is so I would never even get close to this is a brother podcast Yeah, this is a city of brotherhood we actually really love brotherhood in this podcast absolutely another another option is like down the line she cheats on her brother with someone else and then the brothers like oh I can't believe it how could this happen and you know if he didn't come clean in the past even though he wouldn't like really need to even if he

didn't do anything he would you would still feel a sense of like guilt or you would be withholding some Crucial detail in you know the downfall of their relationship or something that would feel really bad And it's not even like the betrayal that would feel as bad It's like however much time you're still sinking into a relationship that isn't worth it is like the worst part Yeah, I mean it's also like if you're if you're This close to your brother's wife at this point and at the same time you're in courts with your ex-wife who cheated on you With your best friend like yeah, yeah It's great. Yeah, it's like who are you attracting?

and and like a And it's like, who are you attracting? And like, a huge missing piece though, is the brother and what's going on here. Because if they're just a total train wreck, maybe forget about what I said and just back away. But if he's a good guy that you're scared, basically he's going to have the exact same, it's like, you just went through this.

Anyway, whatever, fuck this guy. Thanks for being a fan though, you know, and thank you for. buy tickets for my tickets Yeah Hey stuff. Hmm way to go on the success man. Thanks, man. Really proud of you. Hey, I'm doing something horrific Well time to hopefully that's you know, that's a pretty effed up question Hopefully we're in for nothing too crazy. Oh, oh, wait a second Holy shit, what's that? Oh my god. Is it time for what I think it is. Is it time to

Is it time to? Holy shit. It's time to twist. Oh, it's the twisted tea. Keep it twisted motherfucking question of the week or whatever the Whatever the Twisted motherfucking question of the week or whatever the... Or whatever the fucking thing is. Yep, that's right. Ah, Twisted Tea. Our pals over at Twisted Tea, we have a twisted question. Sir, I'm sure you love delicious...

I love Twisted Tea. Bleep out her... Just cover over her mouth and be like, I love Twisted Tea. Blur out her finger. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha just on the market right now. Keep it twisted. You gotta keep it twisted. The box has the same color scheme as Sarah's. Don't connect me to this. Anyway. Thanks for planning accordingly, Sarah. Thank you, Sarah.

Sarah's a huge fan. This is kind of how she reacts to stuff. She's kind of playing hard to get with twisted teeth. She loves it. If she hated it, she'd be really complimentary of it. How am I being embroiled in this? What's the Twisted Mother effing question of the week, Eldis? Sabi. Hey, how you man? I'm having a little bit of a hard time here. I'm trying to figure out if I should be mad at my friend or not.

I think he kind of like blindsided me and kind of just stole some of my thunder For context I I'm proposing to my girl I planned it we had the ring all situated I kind of kept him in the loop because his girlfriend is best friends with my girlfriend and I'm pretty good friends with him We've been together for almost four years now pretty much as long as I've known my girlfriend because that's how I know Him is sure her girlfriend knows You know her boyfriend obviously dating my friend. Yeah So either way I

Planned it. I told him I find out yesterday that he just proposed to his girl and they know I'm all for it I love I love love like he's getting to his girl and you know I'm all for it I love love I like it that he's getting pretty much married and all that stuff I got upset because I think he should have told me like you know he's not obligated to tell me but you know I confided in him I told him and his girlfriend when they were in the car together that I was where I'm proposing how I'm proposing they have a kid they're gonna they they she knew all about the like him buying the ring It literally just happened like on like on Saturday Because what happened was he's essentially bought it on Saturday and he proposed Sunday and then they

Like she's been with him with the whole time like the dynamic like they stopped at the diamond thoughts together My thing is this I got two predicaments I don't think he would propose unless I would have told him that Alex was our things So like the clock started like hey listen motherfuckers like she was telling him Yeah, you know we make this happen Not it's despite us but just because you know, the time is of the essence like he's Already but to I feel like you should have fucking told me like maybe I'm being like I'm in time feel like I'm entitled But you know I agree with you

Just a heads up with a nice and respectful and I'm salty about it. So yeah, did I? Just brush it off or should I fucking be pissed annoyed all that all that shit anyways. Love you guys. Thank you John I'm ready still grow. I'm a huge huge friend of you and Well that guy keeps that guy kept it too twisted keep it twisted This guy the other guy kept it much too twisted There's a level of twisted you want to take it and that's a couple couple twisted tease at a barbecue Maybe you're watching your favorite team play the big game You want to keep it just twisted enough. This is much much too twisted twist. This isn't but you're for real. I actually

believe this is a true betrayal I Absolutely think that he was like I'm getting proposed and he got freaked out because he's got kids with his girlfriend Yeah, and he's like fuck they can't get All this stuff. I kind of do think he stole I completely disagree Nothing to do with you out of your mind You he got married be happy or whatever he got pre married has nothing to do with you Okay, this guy there was no proposal on the horizon

Okay, so why didn't it come up if I'm talking to eldest right in a world where we're both dating somebody seriously, and I'm like Dude, I'm thinking about proposing Oh L And if eldest had it already it locked and loaded like first of all we would have already talked about it Probably but anyway, let's say whoever says it first and the other guy already had a plan. You'd be like Dude, that's fucking I that's awesome. I'm happy for you. I've actually been thinking about it Here's what I've been like it would have come up that proposal or if eldest says to me Hey, I'm thinking by any proposed and then it makes me reflect right and I'm like, you know what? What the fuck am I doing if he's doing it? I should do it. And I'm like, you know what? What the fuck am I doing?

If he's doing it, I should do it. And then I'm like, dude, you've inspired, I would literally be like, dude, honestly, you really inspired me, I think I'm gonna do it. I would let him figure his shit out. I wouldn't take the information and be like, hmm, I should propose, not mention it, not mention shit and then

Right before he's about to Sort of snake him with the proposal because let's also be honest in a in a like small friend group With not a lot going on you're the kid who didn't want to miss fucking school Could to miss some gossip you the whole school you think in a group a friend group that's probably what eight twelve people a fucking engagement That's the guy that's their best. That's the tea of them. The women are private. It's private The women are best friends. So there you know, they're talking about it's a butterfly effect men that are in the dog house once they haven't proposed It's a race to a proposal. Yes, and and you know, they're're talking about it obviously and that's a situation But now when he does it it's gonna seem like it's gonna look like he copies others. I did

Yeah Invented getting engaged now everyone does no big deal nobody cares nothing to do with you my relationship with my boyfriend to do with you my relationship with my boyfriend How many years one million I have a boyfriend that's right People who look like this We it is a sacred special planet that we exist on and none you exist exist on it. They have a separate thing, has nothing to do with you. They're not in the culture. They don't come from that culture.

Well, get a new culture. This happens to me all the time on the show. You can't answer these things from a perspective of like having gone to art school. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a person that would date you. He's on something's off with him.

You know what I mean? Like you guys have agreed on a certain things that most other human beings have no, you know, no faculties to deal with. But they, his faculties to deal would be easier if he lived in my universe where like getting engaged is like whatever. Okay, take the engagement out of it, right? Let's say you were going to plan your girlfriend an awesome party and you're like, dude, I think she really deserves it.

She really wants this, can I bounce some ideas off you to plan this sick party? And the guy's telling you, oh, and you think he's like, yeah, get this kind of cake, get the, and he even gets his girlfriend who knows your friend to be like, oh, her favorite fucking drinks, you know what I mean? And you're like, that's awesome,

your plan's coming together, and then the week before you're gonna I mean? And you're like, that's awesome. Your plan's coming together. And then the week before you're gonna plan a big surprise party for her, he plans a fucking surprise. He steals, take the engagement out of it. He's a copier is the problem. Well, let's put this in terms you can understand. You come up with a joke, okay? No, not the same.

You come up with a joke. You tell your friend, hey, I'm working on this new kind of material around this thing. You start telling them the joke, blah, blah, blah. They're like, joke, you tell your friend, hey I'm working on this new kind of material around this thing you start telling them the joke, blah blah blah they're like, oh that's pretty good, whatever and then the next day you see them perform, they do a joke of similar quality how about this? you're telling them to do a joke, and they didn't steal the joke

but you're like, I really want to have a take on this issue, right? and you're like, I think it's about time I think the the zeitgeist can't wait for my take on Whatever umbrellas right and you workshop your take and these helping you on the umbrella joke and he's helping your stuff, right? and then Right before you you're gonna go up on a show

He's before you and he does a different umbrellas joke. It's not the same umbrella joke, it's totally his. Right, his take completely. But now he's brought up umbrella and you were like, you were like, well what the fuck? I was the first person to bring this up. This is not gonna work on me. Okay, okay, okay. None of this is gonna work.

You're right, because your umbrella joke would be the umbrella has a pussy and it's shitting out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. I am a new joke. You're like, I'm gonna go to a party dressed like a big pile of shit. And you're talking about the costume

and your friends helping you. The right hue of shit is in greenish. And you get to that party and your friends dressed like a gilded piece of shit. What happens between you and the woman you love has nothing to do with your ugly fart mouth friends. They're best friends. You're so fucking wrong about this. I would agree with you if they weren't, if the women weren fart mouth friends. They're best friends. You're so fucking wrong about this.

I would agree with you if they weren't, if the women weren't best friends. Having a moment where they were so fucking in love that he's like, I need to go buy a ring right now. His nothing to do with this. He should have sprung it on him. He should have sprung it on him. He should be like, dude, even afterwards,

he should be like, dude, I know it's crazy, it's just this inspired, like the fact that he didn't mention it is sneaky. It's sneaky behavior. You're all enmeshed in your homoerotic relationship with each other. It's not about, no, it's about. It's an enmeshment.

It's about fucking up the surprise for your girlfriend. He took the thunder out of the thing. And it's okay if they had, if he had had a discussion with him, he'd be like, hey man, that's cool, I'm glad you guys are getting engaged. I've been kinda playing this the whole time. Right. Like that's fucked up.

You guys can think that. I think what's fucked up is that you guys, he said, am I entitled for feeling upset? Yes. Guess what? Everyone gets engaged. Have fun, everyone's engaged now. Okay, so what should he do?

All right, let's try and turn this constructive right if he Yeah, cuz you're fucking wrong and shit. It's crazy. Let's try and turn this constructive right? What does he do now cuz I would be upset if a friend of mine did this to me and how do you move forward? You don't say what the fuck man the fuck is that about you don't have an ask him about that Yeah, sure, ask him. Cause now it's gonna fester. Right. Yeah.

And effectively- It's just guy stuff. Oh my God, whatever. You're fucking, you're gonna be, you're gonna have a boyfriend until you're 80 years old. So who cares what you think about engagements. I don't actually think this is super bro-y though. This is a really tight friend group.

It's weird. You guys talk like you're ChapStick. It's weird. It's weird. Go get ChapStick. ChapStick. You're Lipstick. It's weird. Go get ChapStick. Good. We don't need you for this segment. Great.

Yeah. He was, now, so what do you do now, Ben? And then also, effectively, what do you do with the engagement? Do you wait? I think you can talk to him about it. If you let yourself cool down a little bit, like don't come in really, whatever, but talk to him. You know, and be like, this made me feel a little weird

yeah and you know what else here's what I think you should do give it a breather proposed and here's the other thing you can tell your girl when it's all said and done yeah you like and she's gonna believe you you know me like the other and like I wanted to do this and he fucking snaked me you know what I mean like and that could be like a thing you talk about but This shows the character of this man. Put it all in the bed the best man speech I'm on the friends part. It is absolutely foul play. Yes. It is a snake move. Yes, however

I'll go towards Sarah a little where it's like He can't you can't really say shit to the friend I think Especially not like anytime soon Maybe down the line You can open up about it But it's like you can't be like What the fuck? Why'd you get engaged?

Because it really is like you know No you say Hey man, how about a fucking heads up? I've been telling, I've been talking to you about this. You can feel that way. I feel like it just, it just is not your place to even like be outwardly mad about that. Even though it is annoying

and that guy is a prick for doing it. It's about your relationship to this guy though. It's not even about the engagement thing. It's he bitch, he did a snake move to me no matter what the context is. So now the other option is maybe this is already a friend of a girlfriend, right? This is your boy in law. This is not your boy. This guy is your friend due to... So maybe now you just realize, I'm out on this guy and maybe that's the answer They just pegs him down one it takes him down one notch of friendship for his betrayal And maybe you just have to eat it and maybe you just have to fucking and that's life

Sometimes you get fucked and you have to figure it out The reason I don't agree is because if I were the guy who did the sudden proposal I would know I would feel weird about Doing it exactly. I would say something a little just not right It's like it there is something that's not quite right. Yeah, it's too twisted. Wouldn't you say he? So crazy why would you care who cares you don't fucking get it that's crazy You don't even see the reason the guy would be mad. I Do but I think you're stupid. You're one of the most people, easy people I've ever met to make paranoid about anything. That's so fucking true.

You glom onto something like this for sure. No, what happens between me and my boyfriend is private. That's not what that, but that's not what it is. He got his proposal. But you don't have a best friend couple, you know? All my best, yes I do. Like that you, that you, you, you're best friends with her and he's best friends with the guy. Yeah, right. And like... Yeah, cause I don't live in summer.

Also, you're like an alternative person who, you know what I mean? It doesn't matter. Sarah, whatever Sarah thinks on this doesn't matter. I think ultimately there is a proposal butterfly effect always. Within the friend groups, there's always gonna be winners and losers of I agree that a friend couple who's been Proposed a snake you and he bit you snake you eat snake you and the caller has a right to Harbor bitterness for as long as he wants but it's like right

it's like you can't project that out and be like I Don't know. I just feel like you can't really say shit cuz you just look like a hater hating on like an engagement no but that's another way that he's getting fucked exactly not only is this guy fucked you he's painted you into a corner I agree I have to be like great I'm so happy for you and actually you're upset and now I agree but I think I think this guy just needs to regroup all you need is like you're right two months three months You're good for the proposal proposal out of the fucking water That's what you channel this into blow his shit out of the water

And you're right you're just asking if you're entitled to feel this way you absolutely are ignore Sarah You boring this is not the first call. This is not the person you want giving you counsel on anything And so you're in town of this way If you're pissed and then put all that energy into blowing it out of the water and yes he did fuck you just know that we agree with you and Hopefully one day you and your buddy can enjoy some twisted tea Years years years down the line you Years down the line you reconcile. In the meantime, you and your fiance.

You have some, yeah, in the meantime, crack open a delicious twisted tea, brewed with real iced tea, money don't know that, 5% by volume, get you a nice little time, and you know what you're gonna wanna do, my friend, open up this twisted tea and then keep it twisted. Good luck out there. Room temperature box

He could have it any temperature he likes it's that delicious All right, well that was the twisted to you motherfucking twisted-ass question of the week Now what other questions do we have that are not sponsored time for what are we doing just for the what are we doing just for the love of the game? You guys edit out my stomach I was just wondering your opinion on what I should do coming up on the holiday season My girlfriend is really into Christmas. She wants me to go to all of her dinners and Hang out and all of that jazz. My problem is that well last month my mom died. Kind of feeling anti Christmas.

Of course dude. It's just me my dad and my brother were just three sad dudes probably gonna drink and like have a pretty shitty Christmas. Tough bro. How do I tell her that like I'm really not interested in going to any of these events? I'm really not interested in like putting on the boyfriend mask for like the first Christmas right before all that should happen. Of course. Jesus. So I'm kind of like caught in between not wanting to piss her off. Piss her off?

Because you want to mourn your mother's death? Just, you know, hide and drink at the same time. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, just not sure exactly how I should approach this. I've already told her that I'm not really that interested, but based on the conversations her telling me about things that are planned and events coming up I'm really just like cringing and I don't know we've been

dating for five years I can't just ghost over Christmas but anyways let me know what you guys think I should do and yeah thanks a lot. Happy holidays, boys. And girl. No, I might not look like one, but I think your girlfriend's not a very good listener. I mean, I totally agree with you. I mean, this is, just so you know, and this is good to just like have someone to, sometimes people just need to bounce. And don't you have friends in your life to bounce the shit off if I guess not but This is insane on her part. Yeah, she is I can't imagine somebody being more in the wrong now Is it possible that you want to retreat a little too much might it be good to go to one thing? That's easy like maybe not an intimate dinner where you have to have Constant conversation with like the same six people of her friends

but maybe a nice holiday party where it's just you keep it really surface level and it'll stop you from being just in your house To get totally fucked up like I think I think maybe you're clearly You need to take as much time as you I mean your mom just passed away as your first holidays without her It just happened. You want to be close to your brother and your dad that's all super understandable and so she should understand that on the flipside maybe just to just for yourself even not even just to appease her it would be nice to do a little light-hearted Christmas stuff again nothing too intense nothing where it's like you might like fucking break it down and cry by talking to her best friend you know I mean if you're sure magic or her family

stuff would probably probably feel bad you know being around like family miss yeah whatever it is for him right maybe it's like maybe it's a close-knit friend group where they're just so open and you don't want to get into your emotional stuff like whatever it is his girlfriend's like here mom I made us a scrapbook of precious memories of you and I together and the moms like oh this is beautiful let's all sit down and watch pour over every single picture together this guy gets like a sweater it's odd that you've been telegraphing not wanting to go to your girlfriend and she's still kind of pressing the issue. But I agree. This is coming from an anti Christmas household. Fuck Christmas.

Whoa. Hey, you're welcome for Christmas. No, you didn't do that. You did Easter. Remember? Right. What was Christmas again? He's born. I had dad. Nothing then he's reborn. He's reborn. Despite your best efforts. He got your ass. What did we even do? Also, you know what I will say, everyone gets on the Jewish people. It's Pontius Pilate. It's Pontius Pilate. Sure, you snitched, but Pontius is the one who sentenced him to death.

Of course a Greek would say it's the Italians. It is the Italians who took everything from us. You're nothing without us Romans you fucking pieces of shit anyway What parallelogram is not always a square whatever? Rectangle is not a cube. What am I trying to say? It doesn't matter. I don't know I don't it doesn't matter So I I really do want to say like it's secondary for you to do some Christmas stuff The first thing that I am worried about is like yeah

What the hell is in her fucking mind where she's like get over it. You're like that's really fucking crazy You said that no, I'm just saying also might be really afraid of conflict or and yeah, I'm talking about He said that he doesn't want to do Christmas and he say that no, but I just mean like how is he we were kind of Saying oh, she must be like a nightmare, but maybe He's just really bad at conflict or I mean if you're someone's girlfriend to a natural instinct is like oh your mom Just thought I just really need to like to be with him for the holidays need to surround him with people so it's not like I'm Sure, she's not like oh, yeah, we're gonna go on a fucking Right she might be trying to help

Is this reading what I like your advice to of being like maybe it would be nice for you to get out of the house And not be drinking with your brother. Yeah, not constant like don't don't go to everything. Don't overwhelm yourself. And look, you just might be sad, right? Like, mourning is long. It takes fucking forever for some people. And especially when it's like your mom and you seem you sound like a relatively young guy. I mean, I don't know how old you are, but either way, it's tough to lose a parent, even if they're super old. That's not like it gets. It's not the easiest thing in the world. So this is tough. It's a tough thing to mourn and you have to do it your way and then you might be right to like Have you presented this the right way to your girl? Yeah, you know maybe she to give her the benefit of doubt

Maybe she's trying to keep you busy keep your mind off it and I think somewhere. There's a happy medium of like Skip stuff that sounds like a lot right Right. You also have a pretty iron clad, get out of something lame car. That's what I'm saying. If I ever die, I want I think of that as like a card that people can use to get out of anything. Yeah. And I want everybody. Yeah. When I die, at least use it as much as possible and get out of as much as possible. Yeah, that's how I feel.

I think he could just set up some boundaries and say, like, for the next few months, like, I just need to make those decisions, like, closer to the date. Like, I can't plan anything because I don't know how I'm going to feel. I feel terrible, you know, etc. Yeah. Do you think if Ben dies, I could miss one SNL? I don't think so. You're in the machine.

They don't care about emotions and your friends and their friends. What if I said it was Ben, old bald guy? They don't value Ben you're in the machine. They don't care about emotions and your friends and what I said It was mental bald guy. They don't value Ben the way what about if there's a picture of us smiling together Maybe we have a couple it has to be a family member. I feel like yeah, you can't be like this guy whose garage I used to sit in died. Why did you ask that question by the way? You've been pretty stressed You've been pretty stressed and you know, maybe you'll sacrifice Ben for a week off Y'all y'all, you know, Oh Sarah goes to therapy nine times a week. Whatever. There are people out there using stop as a therapist We don't think that that's okay, yeah, I don't think it's good we're just trying to pay the bills Sarah It's good we're just trying to pay the bills Sarah

Let's keep going until our pal gets here with our lunch order how many seven minutes away Yeah, sorry Ben you can hear my Years to go He actually has therapy to go to. Well, just push it. No, I can't. I already pushed it. Push it to the limit. All right. Hey, what's up?

Stav and Eldis, guests, of course. Friend of the pod here. Love you guys. You get me through work and any other bullshit. So I'm 29. I'm from Indiana. I'm a musician. I play in a band. And I work for a much bigger band, go out on tour, and

roadie and all that cool stuff. But the problem I'm having is with socializing. I'm really bad at small talk. I was a fat guy off in high school, so confidence has never been my strong suit. I got a higher level of confidence towards the end of high school and into college, probably until I was about 26. I don't know if it was COVID sitting around getting fucked up with my friends

and not actually going out and talking to people, but getting back into a sense then has been really hard. I have a girlfriend, so that's not an issue. I have good close friends, but it's just whenever I'm talking to people that I just don't really know, I kind of freeze up and get shy and awkward. So if you have any tips like that, I know you're very charismatic and probably always have been but

Recycle things you've heard on this podcast in conversation. That's not bad. Just memorize everything stops Podcasts in conversation. That's not bad. Just memorize everything stops You know if there's a lull in the conversation just be like say something Actually as hemorrhoids This is interesting so what is the context you're out on the road and these people like is that what did he say or just in general? Yeah, he's he says he's he's a roadie for a big band And I'm sure there's like hanging out parts of it all and you know He's just meeting people and he just feels socially awkward. It sounds like and look that's every everybody goes through that shit It's like, you know, even me fucking mr. Fucking charisma over here

I absolutely definitely have times where I'm like I'd rather fucking Suck the end of a gun than have this conversation with a stranger And it's okay, especially if you're tight like being a roadies fucking hard like these are hard days Whatever like it's okay Sometimes if you're run down to fucking just not have it some like not have the socializing thing Yeah, particularly if you're a person who is you know just that's not your strong suit I would say let's start there sometimes You're just gonna not feel like you're fun or whatever to talk to but

You know if you're like at a like think about a party or something like you got to find The ways in the conversation then hope that it just kind of rolls on you know people underestimate the power of actually talking about the weather for real just start with something classic it's really nice out you're on tour you can be nice somewhere and then it's a different city and then maybe the weather is a little different yeah also another thing that people oh don't talk about this in conversation dreams oh I don't want about this in conversation, dreams. Oh, I don't want to hear about your dream last night.

I do. I do. I do think there is something classic to where you are and who you're talking to, right? So like yeah, you might be in a dream, you might be in a dream like group, right? If you're on tour talking about the city, being like, hey, I actually think any restaurants

Yeah, this place. Yeah, totally that gets into like what kind of food you like You know what I mean? Like it's such it really just is cracking it and then and also Asking questions is so awesome people like talking about themselves, man You ask one you have to crack into some generic stuff to start the combo at a party. You know, it's so easy It's like hey, how do you know the person who has the party? Then you find out what kind you know how they know them what kind of job all this other shit I always ask where do people live and where are they from love that and how about this a compliment? compliment

Always ask people how are you doing? It's really good But like also compliments are huge people like being asked questions people like getting compliments You're you're out with your own tour somebody's wearing a cool band shirt be like that's fucking sick or like I love your like truly Those are awesome like it sounds so Basic but I like cool pants Like your ass you look like you have a big nice tits. Can I see those tits stuff like that? What are you a fucking bitch? I'm trying to be nice you fucking whore all that kind of stuff No, don't call no don't tell people I said that I'm just trying to what are you doing you? Next four years Donald Trump is president. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff. You're good

Yeah, four years you get to be like crazy Donald Trump Yeah, and I will say and this is I know you're a musician. It's different, but like the ultimate ultimate small talk tool in America with men is sports you gotta at least have a base knowledge of sports I happen I'm one of the few like artistic people that truly like sport a few but like in my friend who might say sports person who's kind of art that's actually true I am definitely a bro who likes art a little bit.

You're right. You're right, actually. That's true. That's true. But I cannot tell. And you'd think it would just be like, you know, just like sports heads would love it. But it's like, I have started conversations because of sports.

And it turns out people are like weirdos. I've made friends with people that it's like, you just don't know, it's just such a nice, and now it helps to be actually passionate about it. I do, I actually am into football and basketball. And so that's an easy thing. But it's like, just having the cursory understanding of it is the, is the fucking, I can't tell you

how many horrific elevator rides in small towns that I'm performing have been saved by just being like, your team looks pretty good, you know what I mean? He's wearing, somebody's wearing like a, like some college, be like, I don't know much about college football, but like, throwing something out there.

If you're stuck talking to someone who looks like me do not do that. Don't do that Conversation will come to a screen Gun and point it right at her fucking head same but with girls. I would say real housewives. That's a That's girls sports girls sports is real house. Yeah. And gay guys, I suppose. Yeah. Vanderpump. Yeah. But Real Housewives is like, if you had to pick, like, if you have to pick one sport, I'd say pick NFL football. Yeah.

If you have to pick one girl thing, I would say pick Real Housewives. Or, SNL can be sports for some people. That's actually true in a really sad way. Did you see that Sarah was in a lot of sketches this weekend? Did you see Sarah was in a lot of sketches? You see Sarah was in a sketch her Hilarious character It was nothing but net when Sarah did that good job Sarah very good. So there you go little buddy

I mean these are these are these are tough, but just Cracking it and then the beginning is the hardest part and you know you'll get there compliments questions a couple general topics in the back of your in your back pocket and you'll be good to go. Pulling up YouTube videos on your phone Sarah SNL best of compilation. It's 45 seconds long. Hold on, it's loading. Make them wait there and share your phone while it's loading. It's Sarah standing behind Bowen Yang as he does something funny. That kind of thing. It's a Sarah Sherman SNL fails compilation. Now that I don't know if you got the bandwidth on your phone to bring up

We had some to say eldest Oh, I was gonna say to like a lot of the times just feeling awkward talking to people at a party or something Sometimes you just drag on the conversation with a stranger You know if you just have like four back and forths, and you're just get out of there It's okay to be like oh, haha It's diet coke time. Yeah, I'm getting a coke aboard the bathroom you can even say I'm gonna circulate a little people don't expect to sit and talk to the same person for the whole time right if you're really lock in that can be nice but cigarettes smoking cigarettes is huge

cigarettes you're smoking you have an activity or you just go and get fresh I was at a party and I don't smoke but it was a kind of stuffy people went out for cigarettes I was like, you know, I'll come get a fresh. It's fine. Just you need ways in and out That's a great point out this practice your intros and then practice your ways in and out. Yeah bathrooms Drink. Oh, I see my buddy. I have to go Let me go catch up with them over there and having a buddy actually that's like a go-to Exit is nice. We're having a friend. They can come in and help out. That's nice, too, but stomach hurts I take a shit. I'll be back. I have to go shit in this prop toilet Um, but yeah, I don't know if you guys heard there was a buzzer one that went off

Yeah, our lunch is here. So Sarah thank you. Thank you coming three times on the pod. You're coming back. YouTube.com Sarah Sherman SNL hilarious. Sarah Sherman fan cam maybe you guys can do that. That wouldn't be bad and yeah you'll come back soon on and we're putting you behind the paywall and we're getting dirty with it. Yo.

We're getting nasty with it, with all your dreams and whatever. You're lucky. Ben is already eating, I see him chewing, he has therapy, he's gonna eat his whole sandwich in three minutes and then take an Uber to his place. Keep it twisted. Don't forget to keep it twisted, of course.

All right, see ya, bye bye. Bye!