Stavvy's World - #120 - Roy Wood Jr.
Episode Date: March 17, 2025The great Roy Wood Jr. joins the pod to discuss his new special LONELY FLOWERS, old sitcoms, child actors, making prank calls as a radio DJ, grinding out his early comedy days, his dad not rocking wit...h fun, and much more. Stav and Roy help callers including a man who's salty that his girlfriend was making it difficult to plan a dinner with his family, and a never Trumper who thinks his friend is a coward for not voting in the last election. Watch Roy Wood Jr.'s special LONELY FLOWERS on Hulu: https://www.hulu.com/movie/0bdefff9-def5-4e22-96d9-94fd899f0f83 Follow Roy Wood Jr. on social media: https://www.roywoodjr.com/ https://twitter.com/roywoodjr https://www.facebook.com/roywoodjr/ http://instagram.com/roywoodjr Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com! https://www.booking.com/ Visit https://mintmobile.com/stavvy to get a 3-month premium wireless plan for just $15/month. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Grow your business right now at Shopify -- no matter what stage you're in. Sign up for a $1/month trial at https://www.shopify.com/stavvy 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
At BedMGM, Ontario's best casino action is just a click away.
Play thrilling games like premium Blackjack Pro, the dazzling MGM Grand Emerald Knights,
or try to score in Gretzky Gold Lucky Tap.
It's all here at BedMGM.
Visit BedMGM.com for terms and conditions.
19 plus to wager, Ontario only.
Please play responsibly.
If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,
please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor
free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.
Welcome everybody to Stav's World 904-800, Stav. Call in, we'll solve your problems.
I'm pumped to have on the couch Roy Wood Jr Today one of my favorites one of the best comics
Truly like you have a great career and you're still underrated in my opinion and the the special right now on Hulu
Lonely flowers go watch it. It's awesome. You have the CNN show. Have I gotten used for you as well a
Lot of places see our boy Roy, but go check out the spot. We're caught we're comedians. Yeah, yeah stream it
Stream it in Minecraft
Stupid and don't know how to circumvent parental
Yeah, I know what I'm doing boy. That's a good point You should put parental controls on your kids shit just so they learn how to cheat through parental controls
You have a kid who can't figure that out. It's tough. Mine is not looking good. Mine is getting there
He's already already learned how to Google me. Oh, of course. The next thing he did was Google himself
He wants some feedback. He said I Googled Roy Wood Jr. kid.
And I go, did you like what you're finding?
Yeah, it was some nice pictures.
Yeah.
But I was a little younger then.
And I go good.
Good.
Keeping you off of the internet. That's so funny. Yeah, I mean it just really feels like we're cooked in Keeping you off of the internet.
That's so funny.
Yeah, I mean, it just really feels like we're cooked in terms of kids and the internet.
Your son's going to have like a robot girlfriend.
Like it's like they're going to be like they're going to make things where you could just
like I mean her and like the Blade Runner.
And by the way, if you get a girlfriend looks like Anna Darmish, I would sign up.
You know what I mean? Like, even though it's...
I would want them to have, like,
one of those ex-Machina type girls.
I'm sorry, bro. It's coming.
I know you don't want it.
I would be so embarrassed if my son dated a robot.
Eric, man, let me show you some of these white girls.
Yeah.
That's the march of progress.
Hey, by the middle of the day,
a black man would bring home a respectable white woman
not one of these goddamn robots
when I was your age you brought home a black woman and then as you get tired of that you bring home a white woman and disappoint your mom
your mother's crying she's in there. She's in there. She found she found it
Motor oil all over your pants. She knows how that guy you don't have a car. She knows how that wd-40 got there
You know what television sitcom does not stand up. What's that caught a glimpse of it down a reddit rabbit hole? Uh-huh
small wonder
Small wonder doesn't hold all wonder was a sitcom about a robot,
about a teenage robot.
Oh yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, the zany adventures of a suburban family,
their next door neighbors, and an innovative robot.
Interesting, interesting, yeah.
And it was like a 10 year old that's a robot,
and then like the dad, and it's like, but I watch that's a robot and then like the dad and it's like,
but I watch it now and I'm just like,
knowing what we know about just creep motherfuckers.
What's gonna happen the instant a robot exists
and you can't make it a kid.
It's the one sitcom that is for sure reboot proof.
Yeah.
Cause today's technology on robots
combined with the loneliness of being
the creepiness of pedophilia.
Yeah.
That sitcom would take a left turn
100 percent.
Very fast.
It would be like, hey, dad, why is this
your life's work?
And you know what? You would hear an
argument from the
pedophile scientist who's like, look,
you want me to fuck kids or you want me to fuck kid robots?
Exactly.
I gotta get it out of my system somehow.
You know what though?
That's maybe how we'll have robot breakthroughs.
If we charge, we're like, look, you guys get to make kid robots, but they got, but you
also got to make the adult versions that we can versions that are good for the rest of us.
We will have that technology,
those shitty like Tesla robots that don't do shit,
those are gone in a month.
If we tell pedophiles they can figure out,
they can fuck children robots.
If this show was done today,
it would be a dialogue and discourse
about the age of consent. Yeah, yeah, it would be a dialogue and discourse about the age of consent.
Yeah, it would easily become.
With all some hilarious hijinks.
Right, right, right, right.
And at the same time, they'd be slipping on stuff.
Yeah, I don't remember, I know Small Wonder
purely as a punchline about weird, shitty old sitcoms.
I'd never watched it.
I missed.
I watched it for a quick minute,
after the season, I was of that punky Brewster era.
So, you know, rebellious, you know, Macaulay Coke,
like any rebellious white kid.
Because it was like every black kid's dream
was to talk shit to a recording.
Like fucking different strokes,
these motherfuckers is slick mouth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To Mr. Drummond.
Yeah, different strokes like let's make the subtext the text
and it's like just like it's get to live,
get to directly mouth off to the rich white people
instead of just pretend they're richy rich.
The funniest shit about different strokes,
I miss sitcom openings.
Yeah.
Where the opening of the,
I love theme songs to sitcoms,
but I used to love how sitcom openings,
like the video they would show,
would essentially tell the premise of the show.
Yes, yes.
So no matter where you're doing the show.
You're fully caught up.
Yeah, you're caught up, you know what this is.
And the different strokes opening sequence,
the song is great, but the opening sequence
is Mr. Drummond riding around in a limo,
and he just keeps looking out the window,
looking at the window, and then he just looks,
and he just sees two black kids
playing basketball in the hood.
And he fucking waves.
And fucking Todd Bridges and Gary Coleman
go scurrying into the limo. And he drives off.
Like what the fuck is this show about?
It's just a white dude pulling up on broke niggas.
And they're like, come on in niggas.
Come on, no chance of getting sex trafficked,
that's for sure.
Bro, they didn't ask no questions.
Because in the song it doesn't establish.
That it's an adoption, that it's a whole thing
yeah, well in the lyrics it establishes it
but when you're watching it, that was, I was microdosing
of course, yeah
then he's a man of day, he's a man
but along came two, and then
they acknowledge the legal adoption process
within the lyrics
right, right, right, right, but visually
but visually, it just looks like a fucking rich white man picking up young black boys I mean
small what yeah we were working on some it was really it was really like it's
like of course all of Hollywood is pedified look at look at the proof was
in front of us the whole time. All the shows just did it outright. Punky Brewster was the older man.
Hold on, Punky.
Punky, tell that black printer to go to the vertical.
Yeah, I caught a little bit of Punky.
You were a big sitcom kid.
Yeah, yeah, I was huge, bro.
I watched all the things.
Only thing I didn't really rock with was Saved by the Bell.
Hmm. Not that I hated it. It just didn't. I don't really rock what was saved by the bill. Mmm, I hated it
It just didn't I don't know. I always found school boring
Well, it might be a generational thing too because you're a little you're like, yeah. Yeah, you're like ten years older than me
And so I remember so you're your fantasy of like mouthing off
I was watching because yes school sucks when you're actually in high school
But when you're a little-ass kid when you're a little fat kid, and you're like damn
Zack gets all the bitches everybody loves him when I go to fucking high school. I'm gonna be like that
That was the fantasy they're selling it's for like young it's for like you know
Eight year olds to be like that's what school is gonna be like and I'm gonna be fucking later
Just Dustin Diamond's character ever get laid like did he get some ass at any point?
I don't believe screech Lisa like threw him a bone and kissed him on yeah
He was he was obsessed with yeah, but even that was like pathetic. Yeah. Yeah
I know Urkel you know Urkel had to transform at the end though kill
But at the end it was she did like him for him, right?
Wasn't that the...
I don't know.
Because this is how, this is the age I am.
I watched, I was invested in the end of Family Matters as it was going off the air.
Like I remember late period Family Matters post Urkel, you know, post Stephane Urkel,
when Urkel was like, when it was clearly like, you know, you know
Who's the actor the place of my forgetting?
Jaleel white when he was like, you know, you got a show that I'm not a fucking loser
I can also fucking like, you know
You really are a learned man.
That was my fucking character.
And I got a lot of respect for Jilil just as an actor
and as a human being, but he really breaks down
in that book how it was his mom that was defending him
and making sure that he didn't get fucked over.
I'm paraphrasing how he said it, but he basically said, nobody ever tried to fuck me.
That's not how he said it.
But basically his mom did a great job
of protecting him from the demons
and the evils of Hollywood
and whatever comes with being a child celebrity.
And like for all of the stuff that was in that book,
the thing that I found most interested so far is that
He breaks down what really happened with Judy Winslow. Oh really?
Went upstairs and started doing porn. Yeah
It was the tutoring according in his book according to him like if you're I didn't know this
But to go to school, right? You have to go to school as a kid actor.
You have to spend three hours a day on set learning shit.
If you start flunking, they have to fire you from the show.
Wow.
Nigga just wasn't doing her homework.
Yeah.
I got a sneaking suspicion if Urkel was flunking,
they'd figure something out.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's like, look a you're on the line character. You gotta learn algebra bitch
You can't you're not important enough to fuck it to
Like for us to look the other way. You're not the starting wide receiver. You're the reserve left tackle
All right, you'll get cut before we cheat for you. We need you in the film room watching tape.
Yeah.
I don't wanna watch tape.
All right, go up the stairs real quick.
And action.
And that was it, man.
But it's really, I mean, it's Jamie Foxworth's story
to tell, but it's a very interesting dichotomy
of just how having two different types of parents on set
dictated their trajectories
in two totally different directions.
I don't know, that part of watching old sitcoms now
that have children, knowing what you know,
what the business does to most children,
it's hard to watch some of them
because it's like, fuck, that kid probably just,
like when you watch Home Improvement,
I don't remember which one is the one
that's always beating on women.
But one of the kids, one of the tool time kids
really likes to punch women.
And so when I go back, I can't watch the sitcom.
No, it's like watching a movie from the 70s
which like, that had like, you know,
it's like watching like, not even from the 70s, any movie a, it's like watching like, not even from 70s,
any movie with animals in it,
I bet you, like Homeward Bound, it's like,
oh yeah, they killed 12 golden retrievers
getting that shot where he has to jump over the train tracks.
It's just like, watching old sitcoms with any kids,
it's like, dog, you don't wanna know what had to be done.
That's what I think, especially the-
Operation Dumbo Drop. You know they would beat me shit out of that elephant. Dog you don't want to know what had to be done like that's why they especially the
Turner and hooch yeah many fucking dogs they went through man
Tom Hanks strangled one himself for not cooperating
Yeah, dude, it's it's so fucked up. Oh shit. I was watching I
went down a rabbit hole of sitcom theme songs, mm-hmm, and I
Don't know if there is a song
More sad or pull the lyrics up for me just so we can read. Yeah, absolutely first
WKRP in Cincinnati, okay, sorry which WKRP in Cincinnati. Okay.
Sorry, which?
WKRP in Cincinnati.
Lyrics.
This shit reads like a suicide letter.
And it's for one of the most hilarious sitcoms of all time.
If you ever wonder, whatever happened to me,
I'm living on the air in Cincinnati, Cincinnati WKRP.
Got kinda tired of packing and unpacking
town to town
Up and down the dial
How the fuck by the way, this is never done this, you know, this would never be
But maybe think of me once in a while you sad fuck so it's a guy
Who's on who got who took a job in Cincinnati
to be like the local, you know, weatherman or whatever.
He's a radio DJ.
Now I'm in a weird city, but damn, I had to leave the woman.
Yeah.
Then he goes, heading up the highway, leaving you behind,
was the hardest thing.
Mind you, this song is nothing about what the fuck
the show is about.
Does this ever come up in the show?
No.
There's no character who left his wife. This song is nothing about what the fuck the show is about. Does this ever come up in the show? No! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's...
There's no character who left his wife?
He still never talks to her!
He's at the radio station fucking off with everybody else!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Heading up the highway leaving you behind,
hardest thing I ever had to do.
Broke my heart in two, but baby pay no mind,
the price for finding me was losing you.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh my God, that's so fucking funny. But baby pay no mind the price for finding me was losing you
Oh my god, that's so fucking funny It's fuck I had to lose you memories helped me hide my lonesome feeling far away from you and feeling low
It's getting late my friend
Take good care of you. I mean. That's when the pills hit. The pills are hitting in that verse. It's getting late.
I love you so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
One of the greatest sitcom theme songs of all time.
That's fucking awesome.
The saddest fucking, jeez.
Oh, yeah, that is fucking hilarious.
Cause they probably just were like,
they gave some musician, they're like,
all right, it's about a guy who's moving to Cincinnati
to be on the radio.
It's like, I got it.
Don't say another word like, I got it.
Don't say another word. I fucking got it, baby.
Revolver in my hand and I spin in the cylinder.
Thinking of you as I play Russian Roulette.
This episode of Stavis World is brought to you by Booking.com.
Booking.yeah.
And we're on a tour, guys, and you know that,
and you know we're sleeping on a tour bus,
but we get tired of the bus.
We just had a couple off days in Los Angeles.
We weren't gonna sleep on the bus.
What did we do?
We went to Booking.com to find us
a beautiful accommodation.
I wanna stay healthy.
I want something with a nice big kitchen,
some easy enough bedrooms for me, George,
eldest, the whole team. We found that in a breeze with booking.com. A nice little accommodation.
Maybe we were more in other cities were in the mood for hotels. I got to tell you with,
you know, with the tour bus, we like to have one hotel room per city to if somebody needs to chill out, take a shower, use some personal
facilities, whatever it is, we've always been able to find a really nice hotel close by
to the theater. That's huge where we're performing because you want to walk right to the place.
Thanks to booking.com. Whatever you want to do,ing.com's got it. You want to go to the beach, you want to go skiing,
you want a nice little, you know,
you want a hotel type situation,
you want a nice little chalet,
any type of shit in America you want,
these mother freakers at Booking.com got your back, Chief.
Okay, I think everybody knows that these mother freakersakers at booking.com got your back, chief.
Okay, I think everybody knows that these mother-freakers got your back.
So find exactly what you're looking for on booking.com, booking.yeah.
You were a radio, you were a fucking radio.
You have an awesome career. You have like truly, I feel like you're like one of the last of the Mohicans in terms of the like
how to come up through like radio,
road work through the South.
Like it's, you were a DJ for a long time, weren't you?
12 years while I was still doing the road.
That's like a classic, that's a throwback guy is the guy
who did stand up and morning radio
That's crazy. It was within five hours of Birmingham. I drove home after the gig to be on the next morning
Because I didn't want to lose the yeah
for context I'm
21-22 when they start sure so you got the metabolism for that
You're excited and you reckon wrecking surviving on cherry coke
and Skittles at three in the morning fighting those.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Taking truck stop speed pills.
Yeah.
The most unregulated shit.
I hope RFK does clean up some of this.
Cause the shit I was putting in my body was not.
Not good bro.
The packaging was just weird.
This is before,
we're talking late 90s?
Early 2000s, 01.
01 through about 2015 is my radio era
while doing other shit.
But this is the beginning of energy drinks
and Red Bull and Five Hours.
The bleeding edge. Yeah, Four Loco when it was like, make your hands tremble. This is the beginning of energy drinks and Red Bull and Five Hours. The Bleeding Edge.
Yeah, Four Loco when it was like,
make your hands tremble.
I remember Four Loco, that was our college years.
It was so like that shit,
and they used to have these fucking pills
at these truck stops.
And I don't know if it's called Stay Woke or something.
But it was.
It had Black Panther packaging.
Stay Woke.
Right.
Before George Floyd. Yeah. It had Black Panther packaging
It was like a like the package was like a stick of dynamite
Holding a thunderbolt love that dude, and I would take three of those Yeah
Probably just speed in there hop back in my Ford Focus and get to the station in time to do mornings and
That was the life man radio, radio was wild though.
I could go back and listen to some of the prank calls I did.
And I was like, I was just fucking hungry, bro.
I didn't even mean it.
The shit I said to people.
Because like the TikTokers have gotten a hold
of some of my vault stuff.
Like my stuff has always been like,
so when I first started doing pranks, I gave them away for free yeah I put them on my
website by the way again that's what I'm talking about you have like a like you
you almost have like a vaudeville career it was like radio prank calls I remember
that era of like you know we're talking jerky boys We're talking like every like, you know, you'd have like albums would have like prank interstitials
It was comedy and hip-hop comedy and hip-hop at it all. Yeah, absolutely
There would be skits on every on every like big rap album would have like three masterpieces of sketch comedy
masterpiece make them say uh
opens with a prank
Masterpiece make them say uh opens with a prank
Right it was culturally very big yeah, so like that that made me money though, man. I sold those really That's awesome print bro. I was so that was like your merch
Oh, I could never think of a joke to put on a shirt sure I would take I had an HP desktop
5550 oh yeah, and I would pack that bitch in my focus and I would spend all day in the hotel burning green back CDs
You're in a fucking holiday and Express Express just making dope Your fucking desktop
No added Dale fine
Laptops you have fuck I'm old laptops you have customizable heel rest
I'm in and out. I'm not bullshitting you.
I had a wood grain fucking laptop.
That's incredible, dude.
You had the wood grain.
At a Dell Esprin 8100 with the wood grain Heel Rest,
and I would just fucking make CDs all day
and sell them shits.
That's awesome.
And you know, it's cool that a lot of that old shit
that I've forgotten about, and I stopped doing pranks
in 08, 07, when I moved to LA and I stopped doing pranks in 08, 07 when I moved to LA I stopped
doing them because I didn't want to be known as the prank hall guy and it was starting
to because it was good but it was like nah I want to do other shit so I just never sold
another CD pulled all the shit off iTunes at the time
Right and it's long enough it's far enough in the past where it was before everything was automatically digitized that it's kind of crazy for it to stay hidden
Whereas you know if you do a podcast for example in your mid-20s when you're saying wild shit, that's there forever
But I mean but like people started finding the old pranks and I got to give it up to a lot of these tiktokers that would just
Folks have just put my shit on YouTube
And then tiktokers would take this shit off YouTube and they pull that up and then they put on I'll never do another prank call
I don't even retweet what I don't write people know it's me right half the time
Right, which to me is still kind of cool. That's all that's even cooler
It's like just laughing at some, and I'm just going yeah
Yeah, no believe me I wish that would happen with come town I
Wish you'll be like oh that's that guy that's laughing. I wonder who that is actually my laugh would
Instantly give me away no matter what I think we I think we're at a point
Societally with comedy where in terms of the retroactive cancel
Oh, yeah, that we're in a different place. So we're yeah, you can understand
Comedy matches the times of what and I know this because I have a degree in journalism and I really don't ask media law
Three times you fuck the three times. The third time's the charm
What is decent or indecent is decided
by the listening public at large
within the region of the material being broken.
Oh, interesting.
So the same way some radio station could play a fart sound.
Right.
Like if it's Bubba the Love Sponge.
Right, right, right.
Classic Opie and Anthony.
Like you took half the shit Opie and Anthony did
on the East Coast.
And that was terrestrial radio.
They never got a complaint for real.
They never got taken off the air, right?
If you take any ONA segment,
and you drop that in Tupelo, Mississippi,
on a gospel station, they're gonna catch a strike.
That station would catch a strike from the FCC, 100K fine.
So most of what we were doing at the time
just fell in line with, yeah, I wanna use some racial slurs
to yell at you to get you to cuss me out.
And it's gonna be funny.
Sounds great.
But it's just the idea of anger.
Totally.
If I can trigger you into being angry at me,
yuck, yuck, yuck, that's all jackass was.
For sure.
Jackass was just triggering people into being,
I'm trying to elicit a reaction.
Yeah, they would have this.
Whatever I can say to get that is fair game.
Yeah, Eric Andre's pranks, he does a lot of that.
Yeah, but at the end of it,
and I don't think Eric shows all of that within his show,
but at the end of all of these pranks,
you go to the person and go, hey, it's cool, cool.
Every prank that I've done, at the end, the person way it's cool cool yeah every point that I've done at the end the person's laughing yeah so it's like
there's a well though it's also a degree of reverence and what we did but it's
just not something I ever wanted to go back and do over and over of course and
also I think there's the thing of like it's not only just the time period but
it's also like the time in someone's life like prank calls is a young man's
game you know what I mean like saying the wild someone's life like prank calls is a young man's game
You know what I mean like saying the wildest shit you can think of on a podcast is a young man's game Like like and that's I think every generation goes to that everyone loves prank calls everyone when they're fucking 13
Calls someone and says can I have a pussy burger? You know like you call like the the carryout?
You're like I want some jizz fries
But you fucking not not much hands what you did, but I'm just saying like it's a natural thing
Yeah, I called a hotel once
So what I learned from being on the road is that I learned how to call directly to hotel rooms
Without circumvent the front desk. Yeah, not even need to know the person's name on the room.
So I get back to the radio station
and I would call a hotel room and just,
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking.
I would act like I'm fucking. I would act like I'm fucking. I would act like I'm fucking. I would act like I'm fucking. I would act like I'm fucking. I would pretending that I'm next door and asking them if it's a lot of
condom under the door.
Bring on the rubbers over there dude.
I'm a 302.
I can't do that at 46.
No, no, no.
But it's still funny.
It still holds, like.
I'm 46.
Yeah.
You can't behave like that.
That's why I love seeing, like, in case in point,
that's why I feel like even with sketch humor,
there's a maturity cycle that we all go through.
Sure.
And it's like five to seven years,
there's like a five to seven year window
where sketch comedy got you.
Right, right, right.
And that's your fucking guy.
Yeah.
It's Will Ferrell era.
Totally.
SNL, for me it was that and I live in color.
That was my peak sketch era,
which is what makes Chappelle such an anomaly.
But I think part of what Chappelle did
was a lot of longer form sketches.
So stylistically, it was a new way to consume
the fucking shit.
That's interesting,
because I think he had a lot of windows in that.
Yeah, there was so much cultural significance.
He also called the DVD, the box set DVD wave of like,
and there was like a few box sets of my generation.
It's like those, and that might be the one, honestly.
I mean, there's also family guys first,
when Fox took them off the air.
That's why they got back on was cause of like box sets.
DVD sales and then Adult Swim was like,
all right, we'll put it on.
But it was only off the strength of the secondary market.
But I feel like that's why, if you notice,
even with, I'm trying to think of it,
because I'm trying to say this with respect,
it's not a diss.
When you think of like sketch,
internet sketch artists or performers now, right?
Yeah.
No matter who you love that does a funny thing
on the internet, on their channel, and it's so funny,
they've got five to seven years before you as a consumer.
Yeah.
Your take, your palette changes.
For sure, for sure. Your comedic palette changes.
And it doesn't mean that that person isn't funny anymore.
They have to figure out a way to evolve
to get the next generation that's growing into them.
Yeah.
Or else they have to evolve.
Or to grow with their fan base.
Correct.
And the ones who don't grow with their fan base
to create new content that addresses their palette shift,
you know, they're fucked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because then they go, why are you still doing that? Yeah, they're like, remember? Yeah, it you know, they're fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because then they go, why are you still doing that?
Yeah, they're like, remember?
Yeah, it's like, they're just doing movies from,
they're doing quote, they do stand up,
and they do quotes from the movies they were in in 1994.
You know what I mean?
It's like, and you guys can put together
maybe a couple people we're talking about,
we don't gotta fucking say who it was exactly,
but you know, it is like the kind of thing where it's like, yeah, you gotta, it's just, everyone should grow,
but you know, I love that you started on prank calls because it's just so, because it's fucking
hilarious to be like, yeah, you have that degree. I mean, you're on the Daily Show for years, you
have a news show, you know, a news comedy show, but it's like, comedy just starts with the fucking,
like, let's just pick up a phone and piss some people off
There's some base ways to do it is crazy because people just go
I is just liberating just don't do a fake comedian. It's like there was 15 years of me sleeping in my car
Yeah, yeah cursing out strangers. Totally doing the worst show. I literally could not afford to purchase
1,000 CDs. Yeah dollar a pop totally doing the worst show. I literally could not afford to purchase 1000 CDs
at a dollar a pop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had to self produce them at 250 per.
Yeah.
Just like I don't even have the front money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
To buy enough CDs to make it cheaper.
To buy blank CDs.
I can't buy, I don't have the money to buy blank CDs.
Yeah, it took me a while, man.
Guys, I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can't buy it, I don't have the money to buy blank CDs. Yeah, it took me a while, man. Guys, I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it,
in my pockets.
All right. Traditional big wireless, though.
They want to take your fucking cash.
Are you going to let them?
We're not letting them anymore.
Not here at Stavibaby Enterprises, because we have.
Who's our carrier for our business line?
That's right. Mint Mobile.
Mint Mobile, baby.
They make it so easy to fucking switch.
We switched fast as hell, didn't we, Eldis?
Yeah, dude, it was so easy to switch that shit.
I just did it right online.
That's fucking awesome, dude.
So say do me a favor, say bye bye to your
overpriced wireless plans jaw dropping monthly bills
and unprecedented overages.
Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at 15 bucks a month.
It's not, it ain't shit.
Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all
your existing contacts.
Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from
Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month.
If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you.
Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash stavi.
That's mintmobile.com slash stavi.
Upfront payment of 45 bucks for a three month five gigabyte plan required
equivalent to 15 bucks a month.
New customer offer for first three months,
only then full price plan options available,
taxes and fees extra.
See Mint Mobile for details.
Were your parents in on, like,
because you know, I know your dad has like,
he's like, comes from a much more distinguished,
he did like, you know, he actually covered the civil rights,
you know, he was in the civil rights.
He covered just conflict.
Like my dad was like,
first off, he was like the first black
at most radio stations he was at.
He was a radio news reporter and commentary type guy.
But he would also just volunteer
to go to just the dangerous shit really so yeah
But he knew it's because he would get more access right cuz no white reporter
My father literally covered the South African so ito riots Wow and then the Zimbabwe
Rhodesian Civil War damn dude just you're hired wood. Yeah
of a war. Damn dude.
Just, you're hired, Wood, thanks.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You may take it to Africa, they shooting that niggas.
Yeah.
And I'd like to cover it.
And they're like, go right the fuck ahead.
They're like, wow, that actually saves us.
We were gonna have to do an awkward thing
where we had to pretend, you know,
we had to make a decision about who we were gonna send
to Africa, but thank you for being the one to volunteer.
And he would get shot at, report, win awards,
and just kept moving up the ladder.
I mean, he did Vietnam.
He was embedded over there.
Civil rights movement.
Chicago in the 60s, like the rise of violence
over there and riots.
So yeah, he was very revered.
My mom's been a college educator forever,
and so she's very, huh, huh.
Right, right, right.
So she wasn't a fan
And then you're like, all right mom and dad can I have a fart machine for Christmas I have to make prank calls
So I got so the little bit of bread I had before I started like I
Think I was 13. I started raking leaves around the neighborhood. Hell yeah dude.
And that was to get Nintendo tapes and sneakers.
Love it.
10 yards front, 15 front and back.
Love it.
Tell me no, I take leaves from a house I already raked and I wait till dark and I put leaves
in your yard, wait a week, come back to your house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
New customer.
It would be a real shame if there were some more leaves
on your front lawn, wouldn't it be?
That's what I would do.
I would create.
Level leaf extortion payments.
Yeah, I'm like Trump, baby.
I create the problem, then I give you the solution, baby.
Hey, that TikTok's fucked up, and I fixed it.
So I would take that money and I would get subscriptions to,
I didn't do baseball cards, I should have.
Yeah, yeah.
But.
Cause you are a big baseball guy, you're big.
I did GamePro, Electronic Gaming Monthly.
Hell yeah dude.
And Mad Magazine.
Love that, yeah.
Those were, those subscription costs
is where I spent most of my money.
And my pops would see that Mad Magazine, I love that, yeah. Those were, those subscription costs is where I spent most of my money. Yeah.
And my pops would see that man magazine,
what is this monkey shit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause he just didn't fuck with humor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's so funny to think about,
the lady talk about the same thing where it's like,
his dad was like, he was like, so so what what do you want to be Steve Martin?
And he said it like it was an insult and noise like that would actually be insane if I could achieve that
But like to his dad Steve Martin's like a fucking pathetic like clown
Like like it's so funny to be the kind of people that love comedy that your dad couldn't even he just thought it was a waste
of time and yeah, because there was the idea
that you're trying to be funny at a time
where there's a lot of serious stuff going on.
We ain't got time for these labs, we got to mobilize.
Right, right, right, right.
My father was one of the original investors in Soul Train.
Oh wow. The television show.
That's fucking awesome.
So he hired Don Cornelius.
That's huge. He hired Don Cornelius. That's huge.
He hired Don Cornelius.
That's crazy.
You can Google this shit.
Don Cornelius was a Chicago cop.
He pulled my father over.
Really?
Don Cornelius was a cop?
I had no fucking idea.
He was a cop for a year.
Oh, okay.
For a year.
So not long enough to hit him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So pulls my pops over, and my pops tells him, yo, you got a nice voice, you should be in radio.
Here's my card, come do radio news.
Wow.
Don thinks about it, dips off and starts working
at WVON in Chicago and builds his media
that began his journey in the media.
And you know, I'm not gonna act like my dad
was like the main front man or something.
Other people gave money, but when it came time
for the Soul Train pilot to be sold,
Don couldn't get it sold,
and it was taking longer than expected.
My pops goes, hey man,
I know you got this little dancing show that you're doing,
but I need my money back.
And Don Cornelia's too,
I mean I'm paraphrasing again,
but basically it was like,
trust me, this is going to be a hit.
The train of soul is a moving, grooving thing,
and if Dick Clark can make money like this,
I think there's an opportunity for black America,
when the 70s come, we're gonna get into
a whole different vibe in this country.
To which my father said, and I quote,
don't nobody wanna watch niggas dance for an hour.'"
So he's anti-dancing in comedy.
You have to remember, Dr. King just got shot.
Like in Detroit riots.
When you think about what the 60s were for black people.
And then some dude goes, you know it'd be fun
if we just danced.
It'll be a 40 year empire.
Shut the fuck up and bring me my fucking money back.
So that's who my father was.
He did not fuck with fun. He did not fuck with fun.
He did not fuck with fun.
You know how people have like their,
I remember sitting with my dad
and we watched the ball game
and we watched a special show.
My father and I, these are the shows we watched ever,
together as a fucking unit. 60 Minutes, Dan
Rather, 2020, specifically John Stossel stories, C-Span and Jeopardy.
Wow.
That's who he was.
Jeopardy is the funnest it got.
Jeopardy is the funnest it got, dude.
So I don't know, man.
I grew up an only child.
I got a bunch of half siblings, but I grew up
living in my own head, so that's where the funny
and weird shit started.
My mom was against it.
Half siblings on your dad's side?
Yeah, of course.
So I see the kind of fun he did fuck with.
Oh yeah.
There was a specific way he preferred to blow off steam.
Yes.
I am the ninth of 11 kids. He preferred to blow off steam
To be like a dower like all business guy they'd be like look what am I not gonna get pussy? It's awesome. It's awesome. It's awesome. I'm like, take your partners off. Yeah. You like folks trying to kill me. You told me you gonna give me more.
Hi daddy, I give you some.
You're doing your duty to the cause.
My mom didn't fuck with me doing comedy
because I was on probation when I started.
Okay.
And so she wanted me to like stay in school.
Yeah.
But I got arrested when I was 19 for stealing credit cards.
Oh, respect, dude.
The credit card scam.
Yeah, it was, people forget in the 90s.
Yeah, there was a Dead Prez song
that told you how to steal identities, I believe.
I coulda wrote it.
There was like, the credit card fraud was a big one.
People don't understand how wild credit card usage was
in the 90s.
There was no chip.
Right, it's just the number, it's literally the number.
The, you had to sign the back of the card.
If it wasn't signed, then that was like running through
TSA without stopping.
Yeah.
But otherwise, for as long as you had a card,
they would do a physical imprint of the card,
they had carbon copy machines and that was like,
so if someone had a piece of that carbon copy,
I have your full card number and your name
as it appears on the card.
And in those days, you didn't even need a billing address
to mail order.
So it's like, it was just so simple and easy.
We just figured out a number of different ways
to fucking get free clothes.
And we'd take the clothes and sell them sometimes.
Got caught, got on probation, got suspended from school
for a semester for this shit.
So during that suspended semester
is when I started doing standup.
So I get back in school and I-
And you're in college, right?
Correct.
I'm at Florida A&M, Tallahassee.
So my mom, you know, she's, I'm at Florida A&M, Tallahassee.
So my mom, you know, she's, I'm gonna be on top of it
and see what the fuck is going on
and you're not gonna be fucking up anymore
and I'm gonna fucking check up on you.
Yeah, yeah.
And my mom went there and my father talked there.
So. Gotcha.
They've got a Bin Laden network.
Right, right, right, right.
Keeping an eye on you.
This is spot. Yes, yes.
So, I don't, to this day I don't know who.
Someone in the journalism department sent my mother my class schedule and
That first semester back after my suspension all I was taking 15 credit hours in three days
Tuesday through Thursday's and I had like one night class on a Monday, but literally from 8 to 5
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday, just education mm-. 15 minute break in between, fuck a lunch.
Just go.
Gonna get it done.
I did that so that I could have Thursday night
and Friday morning to take the Greyhound
to go do open mics anywhere in the south.
Because Greyhound is fucking eight hours
to go four hours in a car.
Yeah, dude, that's crazy.
But I need it Friday, Saturday, Sunday,
and I need Monday on the comeback
to get back to Tallahassee.
So my mom sees the schedules,
what the fuck, why aren't you spreading your shit out?
And I'm like, I just want some days off.
And then one of her students saw me sleeping
in the bus station in Birmingham,
like a couple months later.
And Birmingham is small enough socially.
Yeah.
Where.
Totally.
My father, and I say this humbly,
but my father, he died my senior year of high school.
Okay.
Highly respected man in the city of Birmingham.
We're talking about a city that's 75% black,
Birmingham proper, and my father was for black people.
So his name rang out.
For sure.
And you're named after him, right?
Ding ding.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So why is the son of Roy Wood Sr.
Sleeping on a fucking gray hound bus?
Yeah, next to homeless people openly doing crap.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that gets back to my mom, and she's fucking furious.
Right. But I was on Dean's List. Ah, nice. Yeah, so that gets back to my mom and she's fucking furious
But I was on Dean's List
Nice grades come out like a month later. I go. Here's the deal if my grades are solid
You can't say shit to me about comedy, right? We don't talk about it. I won't tell you about it
You're concerned about my grades. Yeah, clearly my grades are better because I have something to focus on. Lee, just, I was respectful, but I didn't go like fucking punch a Brewster on it.
Like fuck up Harry.
Is that his name or I think that's his guy's name?
I don't remember.
So she said cool.
And then about six months later,
my mom put down on a car for me to start driving so I wouldn't sleep
in the bus station.
Awesome.
Still didn't fuck with me doing comedy.
But also, I don't want you on crack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want you inhaling crack fumes.
Second hand crack fumes at least.
Yeah, I mean she's my biggest fan now.
Yeah, now it's easy.
But your parents, they're just trying to protect you for sure stupidity for sure and I get it
But you know I had to make good grades as a way to keep yeah, and it actually was the best thing ever happened to me
but
It would be like three four more years before my mom would even acknowledge that maybe I would like totally do this as a job
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's better
I mean
I can't even imagine if somebody's it's like we're talking about the parental locks like dude
If somebody's parents are supportive of them doing stand-up, they're bad parents like there's no
Like this they're just bad parents if you're like because it makes no fucking sense
You should be like, all right, whatever like you should if your son starts doing open mics
Anybody who's listening treat it like, you know, he started smoking weed and you're like, alright
Well, hopefully he comes out of his system and like it's not gonna everyone does something stupid in their youth and like, you know
And then if he and then if he does it more if he's like starting to drive and take Greyhounds, that's oh
Now he's on now he's taking pills, you know
I mean, then it's like and then he's like, I think I'm gonna move to New York. It's like, fuck, they're on heroin.
You know what I mean?
All this shit you can name that happens on a Greyhound,
I didn't seen it.
Yeah.
Motherfuckers jacking off, women waking up,
what the fuck, fuck you motherfucker.
They're like fighting and shit,
drivers kicking people off.
The most painful shit was every blue moon
when we would take the gray, I'd take the gray,
I call it the dog.
Sure, take the dog.
I only did a little dog.
Luckily I had the Megabus went from Baltimore.
I was in Baltimore, I was in the Megabus days.
Right at the edge of Megabus territory.
So I did a lot of Megabus.
But I had to, if the gigs were really shitty at the beginning, I did have to take a couple
Greyhounds.
But I got just a taste.
I did everything one go-round.
I got so lucky.
I didn't have to do it over and over.
I did like D-Clubs, C-Clubs, you know what I mean?
Like I did it all.
I did it nine years before I moved to LA.
It's fucking horrible, dude. And the worst part of the Greyhound rides
were you would ride up past Parris Island
for Marine Corps basic training.
And I'm not gonna say we were right up on the gate,
that part I don't remember,
but I do remember there was specifically a stop
at Parris Island where they picked up Marines
who had either quit or been kicked out.
Damn.
Whatever the fuck you thought your life was supposed to be,
has not happened.
And this moment on the bus is the first real moment
that this person is having of what the fuck next.
Yes, yes, moment of self-reflection
after leaving the Marines.
Because that was the dream.
That's what you were gonna do.
And for whatever reason, you're on a goddamn Greyhound with me and two masturbators.
Someone's smuggling some shit,
and just the look of frustration, sometimes tears,
sometimes crying, like, and it's wild,
because I wish I could like go back,
and like, this should be a reality show
of just fucking someone on a bus
that pulls up to Parris Island
or we'll go up further to Fayetteville for the army.
Like just fucking don't be sad guy.
He just sits down next to,
these are like 18 year olds and 19 year olds.
Totally.
Hey Maryland.
I know what's going on, it's all good man.
You got time.
Yeah.
You're in shape.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, time. Yeah, you're in shape. Yeah
Basic training but you go fucking burn. Yeah, you're in shape
You don't have to kill anyone in the third world to protect our global interests. Yeah, you're fine That shit used to make me so sad because I just never that's a tough one to like you ever see so much stranger
You want to say something to totally't know what the fuck to say.
Nah.
Folks, I'm here in a green room of historic theater
on my very successful Dreamboat tour,
and I gotta tell ya, when I'm kicking back,
I'm about to do the show, and when it's over,
I'm gonna get it very twisted.
I'm gonna keep it twisted with, that's right, twisted tea.
We love sucking them back on the tour bus.
We love that they're delicious, that they're brewed with real twisted tea. We love sucking them back on the tour bus. We love that they're delicious,
that they're brewed with real iced tea.
A nice, refreshing 5% alcohol by volume,
flavorful, delectable.
You want plain iced tea, you want peach,
you want raspberry, they got it all.
When you wanna go keep it twisted on a nice day,
having a picnic sipping on a twisted tea, nothing finer. You'll love it. Just like me and Eldis and straight George,
who some of you might know who's on the tour. Look, we're keeping it twisted on the bus,
off the bus, responsibly, deliciously, and we suggest you keep it twisted to go go to your local
purveyor of fine beverages and get a nice cold twisted tea
You're gonna thank me. I think you're really gonna thank me for that. So remember folks grab a refreshing twisted tea today and
Keep it twisted
Those days were fucking wild man the road, you know, I was nine years
Just whatever anyone said. Yes. I didn't give a fuck. Yeah, if it was a microphone, I'm in that bitch
I performed and I'm not making this up
At the Monticello watermelon festival
In Monticello watermelon festival In Monticello, Florida
What was it Medford, Oregon, I think it's Medford that has the watermelon festival interesting. Yeah
Is it good? I mean, that's pretty I would love to attend a watermelon festival. You couldn't do it
It was one step too far. I feel like performing. There's enough
It was one step too far. I feel like performing.
There's enough.
I feel like just type in Monticello, Florida,
Watermelon Festival.
I think it was Monticello.
I know Medford has one as well, but there it is.
Yeah, it exists.
Yeah, there it is.
Monticello Watermelon Festival.
Looks good, man.
No, it's it's everything that's wrong with comedy.
Everything that ruins comedy. Miss Watermelon Queen. Yeah. It's a day show.
It's outdoors. Mm-hmm. And it's racially imbalanced. Yeah that's tough. It's just a
bunch of white people enjoying watermelon.'re like and now and you have to work clean
Yeah, they're like the scroll they're line dancing person
That's how I saw an Asian before
We saw an Asian no
You're gonna have to check out the month sell of water festival on your own. It's in its 73rd year. It's been around forever
It was it was a gig. Yeah, man. It was a gig and it's not like they were like
Let me make sure I'm framing us because I know people and luckily your father had passed away by the, he didn't have to hear about you. He had the water on his watch. He had a road down to that bitch.
Motherfucker, get off that fucking stage.
What is this monkey shit?
But let me just make it perfectly clear.
The watermelon is like a big cash crop
in Monticello, Florida, and they celebrate the harvest
with a big festival, hip hip hooray,
with a town to make money. That's the origins of the festival. So it's just there to celebrate the harvest with a big festival, hip hip hooray, with a town to make money.
That's the origins of the festival.
So it's just there to celebrate the culture of the town.
It's not like I got on stage and white people were like,
it works, it works.
It was a very proper event.
But it's just.
Still, a horrible, a day festival,
one of the worst possible.
A day festival as a black guy celebrating watermelon
Yeah, a little please don't put my photo on the fly
Yeah, or at least one where I'm frowning
Fuck well, there's so much we want to talk about but we do have to fucking we do have to get to some questions
Including the one thing I didn't get to is how much I love that you you were a Dolphins fan because teal and orange were the only
Non-gang affiliated colors that were like easy easy for you to like you wouldn't get beat
I'll beat the fuck up if you're worried teams that were good in the 80s and 90s the Dolphins were the only ones with gang
safe colors. Niners were bloods, cowboys were crips,
the Steelers were gangster disciples.
Damn dude.
So you couldn't even wear a Bo Jackson Raiders jersey,
cause he's from Birmingham area,
you couldn't even wear that,
cause it's gangster disciples, that's black.
Like they ran Birmingham, so whatever team,
you better be a fucking Packers fan
It's just fun hilarious be like, yep teal
Yeah, but I really don't respect it also marino was respected cuz he had two black receivers that were very ignorant as fuck
No, I didn't know like yeah, you know 1.0
Mark Clayton and Mark Dupre they were very good. They were more Tyree kill
Sure sure sure
That's fun. So yeah, they got it your receivers in your quarterbacks have to be fucking insane
Yeah, well, you know they have to believe it kept me from getting teased at school. Yeah. Yeah
Anyway eldest, why don't we do a couple calls here? You know, we have some
Why don't we do a couple calls here? You know, we have some
Some some advice a lot of wisdom over here. The men's got a journalism degree We've seen guys beating off on Greyhounds. He's seen it all it took me five years to graduate
Yeah, we heard you that do that class three times
Alright elders, what do we got here, buddy? I, sorry, hi, Elders, I guess, will try this again.
Dumbass.
So, as the situation will put us half a little break, I, sorry, hi, Elders, I guess, will
try this again.
So, as the situation will put us half a little break, Thanksgiving and Christmas will continue
on.
Anyways, from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve and Christmas, I spent every weekend and every
holiday with my girlfriend's family.
I had a great time doing it.
It was fun.
It was awesome.
But I missed my family, obviously.
So, bringing your views, my brother and sister invited my girlfriend and I to dinner.
They live like three hours away, so we were going to drive up on the 30th, do the interview and leave
the first. So only really seeing that as the 31st. So this is the restaurant my
girl said to me that doesn't want to get anything on the menu. I mentioned they can make
accommodations for certain ingredients and she suggested that we ask changing
the restaurant and this restaurant is my business favorite restaurant and they
booked it like months ahead of time.
They said, no, we're not going to do that.
She said, well, what if we just don't put dinner and we eat about them?
And that was like a two or three hour dinner of most of the day that I wasn't going to get to spend with them.
And then she suggested she just eat beforehand. My feelings of her, because I feel like she was trying to get all these accommodations and
changes to the plans that my brother and sister had graciously invited us to, I didn't like that.
I understand she wants to be a priority and she deserves to be, but I call it this because
this day is a priority because I'm not with my brother and sister and for that I get to know her
She hadn't met her before
So I just felt like a physical hurt because I spent every weekend up until now with her family
And now it's funny that my family and she's making it all about her
one the power through
So, what do you think is this a giant red flag and put one off? Let me know
Yeah, I mean that's fucking
She's I mean that's fuck. It sounds really fucking annoying minimum
Yeah, you spent every fucking
Holiday with her family you probably didn't say shit. You were trying to make a good impression like I guess
It's one thing if she was like, I'm allergic to everything on this menu,
but it's like she just didn't like the food?
That's insane.
To be like, can we change this?
It's like no.
It's like she's not, the fact that her mindset
isn't like, oh, we saw your family,
you made a great impression, let me go,
let me go have them like me. And it and it's like look if I don't like
The food there. Yeah, fuck it. I'll have a sandwich beforehand and I'll pick it some shit
But I'll make it about because no one's policing what you're eating either. It's so clearly about the dinner
It's so clearly about getting to know each other. It's a New Year's dinner. It's just you're drinking
You're just having a good time. Like the whole idea is it's not about the food at all.
And it is it is that is that is red flag behavior, in my opinion.
Yes. But is it enough to wringer up and put on waivers?
I don't think so. I think it's enough for like a demerit to be
you got to call a team meeting.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
You put this as,
you can do it one of two ways.
If it were me, I would press her to still go to the dinner.
Sure, I think- Let's go to the dinner.
I wanna have fun with them on their terms.
I met with your family on your terms
and I want them to feel comfortable.
This is her favorite restaurant, it's her night,
it's her event.
She's inviting us into that space.
So we're not gonna change the venue too.
We can go, if you wanna just nibble on something
and we do something afterwards, cool.
The problem with option two is that you're opening the door
to always accommodating her wants and needs
when the situation doesn't fit,
which means she'll feel like she never has to adapt.
If she has an inability to adapt to your social situations or even read the social clues
That the social cues that she's fucking wild for calling a restaurant to ask them if they got almond milk
Fucking Alfredo with almond
Fucking regular fat ass
You probably have someone I can't. It's a fucking regular fat ass butter.
You probably have someone in your presence, my friend. This is a bigger picture.
You have someone that is not yet capable
of putting their needs sometimes second,
which is what a real relationship is about.
For sure.
Taking turns being uncomfortable.
That's love.
And she doesn't wanna take her turn. That's love. She doesn't want to take her turn.
Right.
Absolutely.
And you've more than done your part in doing Thanksgiving and Chris.
I mean, by the way, New Year's is barely a fucking holiday.
You need to stay on your ground on that Thanksgiving Christmas shit too.
Split those up or we do one in one or we do half of one and half of another
because what it sounds like is that she's trying
to merge you into her culture
and doesn't really give a fuck about choice
which means she just needs a dude that is compliant.
She doesn't care about love,
she cares about somebody that's compliant
because in her head she's already built out
the role of husband and you're just either,
is my own shit coming out?
No, no, no, no, this is great, this is great. husband and you're just either my own shit coming out
Yeah, well to be fair though to your wife you have nine half siblings you barely that's a lot of things 30 minutes on the right right right I don't visit. I don't visit. I don't visit. I got one nephew here in New York. I fuck with him.
Yeah, yeah.
Because he's 30 minutes on the track.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, I think that.
No, I think you're right, Roy, where it's like,
this is, yeah, it's about, there's no compromise here,
and she has kind of, and I would just be,
this isn't necessarily a deal breaker.
Maybe she could just honestly be in immature and be a little like
Ignorant of the social cue and hopefully if you have like a hey
You are this kind of hurt my feelings because I feel like I did everything I needed to with your family
And this is really the only one
Time and I really would hope that you know
You'd be thinking about trying to make a nice impression
and spend time with them.
I really want you to get to know them.
The food, all this other stuff is immaterial,
let's be honest.
What it's about is spending time with my family.
And I think like, you know, and just,
I think that's really what the discussion is.
And look, I don't know how old he is, did he say?
It doesn't matter if she's dumb enough to sit
for three hours and I eat shit
Yeah, I look weird it could just be some young shit
That was my only caveat here right where it's like and look but you're right to Roy in that
Maybe she just isn't ready to just be in in a real
If this is you cuz like meeting each other's families over the holidays is a really big
if this goes well, we take it to the next level if this doesn't we have to reassess and
there's You have grounds for light reassessment here is what I would say is that like this is enough to be like to see is she?
Really selfish actually was she just acting weird did she just fuck
Did she have one fuck up where she wasn't really?
Did she not realize how important this was to you because also a girl like this
Well, you're talking about about wanting to like absorb you into their culture
There's people that would love that there's people that hate their fucking families in college. I I had a college girlfriend
It was the I was like, oh, I have a fucking excuse not to go to Thanksgiving
I had a college girlfriend. It was the I was like, oh, I have a fucking excuse not to go to Thanksgiving
Like I was prompt I fucking never why it was awesome. And so like she can find those people exist
Maybe she's looking for that But maybe also she just like didn't understand how important this was to you and to her maybe was like
Because if you take the the importance off it, right?
It's if it's just hey, we got dinner plans with if it's just hey we got dinner plans with like you know
We got dinner plans then the food does kind of matter, but if it's like no it's not about the dinner you fucking idiot
It's about my family if she missed that whole part
Then it's possible if she just like looks at it from your perspective, and she's like oh my god
I'm so sorry. I didn't realize all this stuff. I get it. Would I hold my breath if that's what's gonna happen?
No, but yeah.
Here's the olive branch you throw also
because you're gonna have this argument
when it's time to split Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Next time we hang with them, we'll pick the restaurant.
So you give her some control,
let her choose the fucking place,
but in the short term, call a team meeting
and see what the fuck is going on.
She starts crying and acting weird and saying that you don't,
I'm just saying, you don't care about me,
you can do whatever, then that's, my fuck is irrational.
And then the way you circumvent that, if you,
because this sounds like the type of guy
who needs like four or five strikes
before he pulls the trigger.
No, that's how I am.
I think, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like you, I'm really fucking trying.
God damn it, I'm bitch.
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck it, I'm gonna email Stazzy.
So you have to like make sure
that you're not letting her dictate
every fucking single thing you all do socially.
But if they are taking your words out of context
or misreading your tone, write a letter, trust me.
I like, putting it in writing is actually helpful sometimes.
No one reads letters mean.
Yeah.
They assume you to be in your nicest form.
You know, where if you tell her,
she's like,
I don't like that, you're gonna cry now.
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, buddy, grounds for a slight reassessment here.
Yeah, but if you cut it loose, let us know.
Send the picture.
We'll show you straight.
All right, damn, that is fucking annoying.
Getting her DMs.
Heard what happened to you at New you new years that guy's a fucking
I can't believe you would treat you that way
Go ahead eldest dude. I fucked it. I fucked a guy's girlfriend one time off the radio
Time for these stories, but we do oh we do brother
I love that. I don't have time for these stories.
But we do. Oh, we do, brother.
God called the radio station.
Was that you?
Prank call my girl.
No, he requested the prank call.
He wants his girlfriend.
Devastating.
So I prank call her.
But the prank was like, you're like, hey, it's a really good prank.
It was the prank because you're at the end of the prank. Again, hey, it's the radio station.
Your boyfriend put us up to this.
And also, your boyfriend wanted us to tell you,
babbity-bob, harp, violin, violin.
And she's like, oh, no, you like her?
Yeah, oh.
All right, we're going to email you about the prize.
And we're going to email her about the prize,
and then I'm going gonna reply with her phone number
Pick up information to come. Yeah. Why don't you bring it to my house Wow?
That's incredible my 20s were a wild time. Yeah
What a time respect dude woman. I want to date is probably watching this poor guy
That's fucking idiot podcast that I do like this wish just fucking off fucking around
Yeah, always end up saying some shit that I have to explain
That's the that's the magic of this man. It really just feels like hanging out.
That's the problem.
It's not magic.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the problem.
I was better at this shit when I was in a relationship
because I would fucking behave.
Yeah, yeah.
Nah, I just talk shit and then I would,
it's not even gonna be a day.
It'll be like a year from now.
For sure.
So I was listening to some podcasts of yours.
Yeah.
Is that what you did?
Yeah. Did you just fuck people you met on the podcast of yours. Yeah. Is that what you did? Yeah.
Did you just fuck people you met on the radio?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes I did sometimes.
That's the whole point, everyone does everything.
Definitely the reason comedians do comedy.
All of us were like, this will be how it happens.
And it did somehow.
We don't understand it.
This is a great decision.
Yeah, yeah.
That I have put all, everything else makes no sense,
but I will get attention from women if I do this.
That's how it starts.
That's always how it fuckin' starts.
And yeah, sometimes we fuck women we don't deserve to.
Actually, almost exclusively, to be honest with you.
Yeah.
Jeez, Luis, you know, right now we're a finally
old machine here at Stubby Baby Enterprise.
We're going on theater tours.
We're selling truckloads of merchandise, whether it's a dreamboat
T-shirt or the Stavibaby calendar that we do yearly.
But that wasn't always the case.
We used to be a bum operation.
We were selling things.
We had shitty spreadsheets.
There was no one helping me.
I was doing it all myself.
I'm too fucking dumb to do that kind of shit.
That was in a pre-Shopify world.
Now with Shopify, we've blossomed.
As my business and my career has grown,
Shopify has made it easy to scale up
our merch selling operation as we've gotten more fans,
more interested in our stuff.
Whatever you're trying to sell,
you got a little online shop, you want to sell,
you know, I don't know, you making arts and crafts,
you making soaps, you selling dried meats.
Who knows, we got all types of talent
in the StavisWorld fan base.
You want to be a small business owner,
you want an online shop, Go to our friends at Shopify.
What was that?
Oh, that's the sound of us making another sale.
Somebody just bought a fucking
t-shirt or a fucking calendar.
Who's to say?
I'll tell you who will tell me Shopify when I look at my analytics.
Upgrade your business
and get the same checkout we use
with Shopify.
Sign up for your $1 per month trial period
at Shopify.com slash Stavi, all lowercase,
S-T-A-V-V-Y of course.
Go to Shopify.com slash Stavi to upgrade your selling today.
Shopify.com slash Stavi.
Oh, that's another sale, baby.
All right, Eldis, what do we got, what else we got?
Hey, Eldest, possible guests.
Love you guys, love the show.
Let's dive in.
So my question is not centered around, but involves the recent election.
Doesn't matter what party I usually vote for on a personal level on a human level I feel like a man like Donald Trump is unfit to be a legal head and international representative of not just my own country
But also, you know arguably potentially the greatest or most
greatest but most powerful country
Who's SGA president called in man? Jesus Christ. I also love that he says it doesn't matter who I usually vote for so are we dealing with a never Trump Republican?
One of the funniest types of guys like well I want to fucking, I want to start wars but civilly. I want to be able to lower the minimum wage to seven dollars, but call someone sir or madam
It really pisses me off that he paid porn stars for pussy
But I want to do essentially the same stuff he wants to do. I love those guys
Those guys are fucking us. Anyway, this guy's awesome. Keep
going, Elders. Most powerful country to ever exist in the history of the Earth. I just
learned that one of my oldest and dearest friends of 15 years just didn't vote in the
last election. And I think there are a handful of reasons that that could be you know justified but we had a long conversation about it and we both got
the chance to say our piece and after hearing his whole side of the story I
cannot help but see him as anything as not just a coward and a bitch and it's
making me so it depresses me it bums me out every time
I think about him.
Because it's just like he's one of my oldest friends, I love him to death and I thought
I had a stronger ally in the humanity part of being a human.
And I learned that-
You didn't support corporate Democrat?
I mean are you fucking paying attention, bro?
Jesus Christ. This is what we delude ourselves into thinking.
It's like, look, of course, don't vote for Trump,
but are we pretending like shit's been going good
with fucking Joe Biden?
Didn't even know he was fucking alive half his term?
The humanity of this shit?
Are you kidding me?
Kamala couldn't win a fucking...
Anyway, this is fucking...
Yeah, this is...
This is any... This is crazy. Let's let's
simple solution human and
I love him to death. I'm not ready to throw away a 15-year friendship, but as
Barman for a month now and I cannot mount a successful argument against myself that he's actually that good of a guy if he's willing
to just stand aside and let that kind of a
man take the reins of our own country, so
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here, but study your wiser than I love you guys love the show
Thanks so much Joe. I
Mean wow I have plenty of thoughts
First of all I didn't vote for either of them.
So stop listening to the show.
Now, caveat, I live in New York.
Like if I lived in a battleground state,
maybe it would oppress me more.
I probably would have,
who knows what push comes to shove,
but like there are caveats here.
Where do you live?
But go ahead, Roy.
You actually fucking, you know.
Is the issue, it's, this is a message about how could you not vote,
but it sounds like a how could you not vote for Kamala.
Right, like if you voted for the Green Party, how would you feel?
You know what I mean? Like, it's like...
I don't know, I think Joe, Joe, thank you for the message.
Thanks for the call, Joe.
I think that you cannot save this friendship
if there is no respect.
Now, we can argue the idea,
and this is what all the voter apathy boils down to.
Yeah.
It's fucking, do you want the captain or the,
which drunk pilot do you want to try and land?
Yeah.
That's politics.
Hey everybody, we're getting ready to crash.
Yeah.
We got two captains up here.
One's drunk, one's on shrooms.
Which would you like to vote?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then Joe's buddy is in the back going,
neither of these are good fucking captains. Yeah, fucking captains. Fuck it, let's crash.
I'll just say it as a broader sense,
I don't agree with not voting
and you're gonna still complain about shit.
If you don't vote, people are gonna go,
well I didn't vote, I didn't vote.
In this country as fuck.
Well then what are you doing to dethrone
the two party system or whatever?
Trevor Noah showed me a South African,
he has in his office like Mandela's ballot
from the year he won when he got out of prison.
Just like 20 motherfuckers on the ballot.
And it's like, that looks like a nice level headed country
where you have some level of all the candidates,
everybody's invited to the debates.
So I understand the despair that your friend has
in choosing not to vote,
but if you feel, clearly you do this strongly about politics,
you gotta let that friendship die
because there's nothing you're gonna be able to do.
It's also like, so you're not gonna be friends
with anyone that voted for Trump
I mean that's all cuz like if the thing is my friend
Could didn't my friend didn't vote for Kamala Harris, so I can't be friends with them anymore
Like that's let in your issues with Trump, which I guess whatever I get
I mean, I'm not pumped that Trump is president. But again, it's like what if you've ever had real issues with Trump, which I guess whatever, I mean I'm not pumped that Trump is president, but again it's like, what if he had real issues with Gaza?
I mean what if he had fucking issues with like, you know, like there were things that
the fucking, that the Democrats did that they said they weren't gonna change anything about,
that it's like, I understand if it's a deal breaker for certain people to not vote for
it and it's even if I didn't agree with it, right and it's like this also opens up the philosophical discussion of do you have?
You don't have any friends that voted for Trump and then it's like if you if you want things to change
You gotta also have like you got to be open to because I have friends who fucking who?
I mean, they're actually older relatives or whatever, but I also have friends who fucking, who, I mean they're actually older relatives or whatever,
but I also have friends who like, you know,
it's like, there aren't people,
I think there are people that vote for Trump
that aren't totally all the way gone, right?
That it's like.
But those people, I believe those people
are more single issue voters and it's gone.
It's like the whole fracking thing.
If you are a fracker or a coal motherfucker
and Trump come in town and go, I fixed coal,
you don't give a fuck about deportations
and birthright citizenship.
I'm trying to eat right here and this dude say he got me.
So you're in such a despair,
you're not even gonna look through all the facts
and look at the multi-layered corporations that are lying
and that they actually aren't gonna do anything
to help your industry get back off the ground.
I think that this election, this term with Trump,
it would be helpful to have,
and I don't wanna say softer approach because it's,
because liberals look at it as I have to sacrifice
my humanity for your comprehension of why
what's happening is bad for me.
Right, right, right.
So I'm not gonna table my humanity
to get to put knowledge into this person's head.
But if you all stayed friends,
and just periodically you bring up
whatever the fuck that's going on or this thing,
it may be an opportunity to help get some policy permeated.
Because I think a lot of people who voted for Trump
are gonna look up and unless Trump is smart enough
to know how to blame the Democrats at midterms
for what he hasn't delivered on,
if there are promises he has not delivered on,
it will not be seen as incompetence
within his administration.
It'll be seen as, well, they're blocking me from doing the shit
that I wanna do.
But, and you know this too, it's like,
how many times, every time there's a big, like, win,
there's always, the midterms, historically,
it always comes back a little bit.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's always, like, that's just how politics works,
because you get an office promising a bunch of shit
that doesn't happen, and so there's always like you know it always comes back
so
Yeah, I mean I can imagine this guy's friend too like you know this guy sounds like every time any politics things comes up
He's going knowing he's going he's going straight to the humanity of the greatest most powerful country in the world
I'm gonna kill in Iraq how many it's like what the fuck America's fucking sucks
Regard I just don't think that that is an effective verbiage to reach people anymore
But it's also get off your fucking high horse voting compared. Are you actually doing anything or did you actually vote?
You know what?
I mean, it's like I do take a little umbrage with these people that act like they've done,
they have like their fucking civil servants of 30 years
because they cast a vote and maybe,
because it was easy for them to do,
it's like, Joe, are you that much better
than your friend, really?
Like that's my other question.
That depends on, and that's why I say it goes back to
who did you vote for versus voting at all?
Cuz if it's voter apathy and you just didn't take part in the system. I forget what the percentage was this year of
Pretty high population, but it was well over half. Yeah, which is right not the norm. Yeah
Okay records it was like what did Trump have like 83 million votes to like 77? Yeah
I don't know and I did vote for everything else by the way
It was a I was objecting to the fucking it was like a I live in a fucking state
That's gonna get cared by the Democrats anyway, and I am objecting to how there what how Biden fucking?
What like the hubris of Biden to run again instead of finding Democrats had four years to find a fucking successor
Yes, 77 million is 75. So it's a little over half the country. We're at 300 million as a nation. Yeah, so yeah, I
Yeah, that's crazy. I I feel like I
Don't just to the to to his question because we sure stay all day on the politics
Yeah, yeah, yeah
If Joe if you feel that strongly about politics,
I do not see a path through for this friendship.
Sure.
Because you all have been friends
until it hits something that truly means something to you
that you are not going to bend on, nor should you.
I just don't think that you, you know,
you can kind of demote people to an outer sphere,
but if you're like me, it's either,
you're either inner circle or you're fucking Pluto.
Right.
Like I don't really have an in-between.
I kind of know what you're talking about.
Yeah, I guess that's fair.
If we just, if we're looking at this, and look,
I agree, like if this thing is that,
if you have really thought about it
and it's that important to you then yes
You know, but I don't know that this is exactly the kind of thing that I would lose a friendship over
Like I said, I mean I'm friends with people that I
Disagree straight up disagree with and I would just think as a human being
This is an issue if we're casting aside people that you have
We're casting aside people that you have
divisiveness is a problem and if you're casting aside a 15 year French if there's not more common ground
Then it's like how are you gonna find common ground with people that you have less in common with and how are we gonna actually?
Move forward with something that because the real division. That's fair. You know what I mean? It's like it's like it's like we got it. We got we
Everyone a lot of Trump voters have a lot more
in common with you than they do with fucking,
with the ruling class that's actually sowing discord here.
But that's my, that's my, that's my sort of thought here.
And I think we've learned that as comedians
because we've been on the road and we've seen
every voting block and demo.
Totally.
At a granular level.
Yeah.
Where you see someone as an individual,
but when you put them in a collective,
it completely looks different.
Definitely, yeah.
Also, but I completely understand
why some people voted for Trump.
It's not, for a lot of people in this country,
it's not about the bigger picture,
it's just about what's happening for them on their street,
and if it's so bad that you're willing to believe a potential lie
Then I get it's like the comics who open for known joke thieves
Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna look like shame working in that administration
Man, what do you want from me? It's paying me nice. Yeah
You should be in the struggle.
The Monticello Watermelon Festival needs an opener.
200.
No gas, no hotel.
No gas, no hotel, as many watermelons as you can carry, but no bags.
So anyway, dude, that's our thought here.
And you know, at the end of the day, your enemy is not your year of 15 your friend of 15 years. It's it's you know billionaires
We're trying to fucking yeah, keep everybody else fucking down and that's another thing that shocked me
I well I went on to his pockets. I talked about how
historically
the
Conservatives are who billion who like the ruling class knew billionaires
support and this is how good their propaganda is that people didn't believe me.
They were like, that's not true.
The richest people support Democrats.
It's like, that's just like a fact you can find in terms of, like you can find that in
terms of, and it might be more individual billionaires But in terms of straight money that is poured in it's always
Historically, there's I would be willing to I don't know this for a fact
But it's like and it's like historically more has gone in from the richest people to conservative
Causes and candidates and now it's even worse with Citizens United because you don't even have to disclose all that fucking shit
Yeah, and but that's the shell game that you're able to play on people who are just figuring out whether or not they're fracking
Coal mines, whatever the fuck is gonna be open tomorrow. Yeah, they have time for sure for sure
It's like to them. That's but anyway who gives a fuck
Let's get a question about jacking off or something if Trump said he was if you worked at blockbuster video and Trump said he was bringing back
VHS cassettes, you're gonna vote
You're right, that's your fucking
I do miss blockbuster. Go ahead eldest
Stavi eldest what up?
What's going on?
I need some help advice
So I'm born and raised in Queens. Nice. I moved down south
Mmm, bought a house got a nice job making my money whatever whatever got my girl with me got my two stupid dogs
The only thing that sucks
Is that I miss New York. Hell yeah, dude
the problem is I
Can't afford New York, right? I got the big beautiful house down here. I can't do that shit back home
If I go back home, I got to live with my crazy parents. They're
picture Frank and his daughter
Not in my age.
And I was struggling because back home in New York, I was doing stand-up.
I had my life, I grew up there.
I was embedded into Queens and Long Island, mainly Queens.
Love it.
But now I'm down here with people that I can't stand.
They're all hicks.
They're all struck.
Oh, he's in a spot.
They're just, it's hard to get along with them.
You know?
I wonder where he's living.
We don't have the same interests.
They're all like these, everybody wants to be the funniest, biggest man in the room.
Like I'm not acting like myself down here. I I missed my old life he's veto in in I have a potential
for a good life down here but man there's something about New York man it's
like dating that fine Spanish chick from Brooklyn like she's toxic you know you
shouldn't date her you might get stabbed like it know you shouldn't data you might get
stabbed like it on Mike it's shot you might call you the M word but you know
you had you the first time call you her jungle bunny
I'll call you a jungle bunny until you go back to fuckin' Nigeria.
Okay, wow.
So this guy is going through the classic,
the cost of living, he's been priced out of New York,
he went down south, and I wonder where he's living.
Here's a couple things we know true.
Yes.
It's not a major metropolis
because most major metropolises in the south,
even New Yorkers will give grace to go it ain't New York
But it's got it least dead dead dead dead
No that happened to me definitely because I have a very similar out view to this guy were mid-atlantic
I'm from Baltimore, but I you know I've been living and I remember when I started actually touring
Anywhere in the south I was like this is gonna fucking suck
Yeah, he's fucking hillbillies.
And then you get there, it's like,
oh, it's a fucking awesome city.
Like, you know?
Also, tale number two, he said he did stand up in New York.
He hasn't sought to do stand up where he lives.
That means he's not in the city
with a comedy scene in the South.
And there's not many, there's a few cities
with a sustainable, if you're an alcoholic
and the best they got is Mike's Heart Lemonade.
Right, right, right, right, right.
You can make do with that.
You run through a couple breeder filters.
Level stand up scenes.
So we're talking double A, triple A baseball markets here.
We're not talking no city with a major sports team
in the big four.
Right, right, right, right.
So we're talking Macon, Georgia, Tupolo, Winston-Salem's,
Montgomery, Alabama's, you know, sounds like Knoxville.
Yeah.
Knoxville has a fucking comedy scene.
But I guess, I guess.
Nashville is.
Nashville's big now, but I guess, look, dude,
here's what it boils down to for this guy. Is that all right?
Like you maybe you don't come back to you. You missed this type of lifestyle, right?
You miss and you don't have to go straight to New York
You if you're just a maybe try
Maybe a major city in the south whatever but it doesn't have being New York or this place
Is there somewhere where you can have like anywhere in sort of like the Northeast region or the mid-atlantic region?
Where it's like yeah, it's similar. It's like the same kind of place Jersey
even like fucking, Pennsylvania
Baltimore, you know what I mean?
Like just like a miss just some kind of city like that
where it's like kind of similar, cost of living is lower.
You know, whatever you want to do open mics.
I can't stop you, but you shouldn't.
You gotta scratch that itch though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It might be the one outlet for him.
True.
And it could help him, you know, get a little bit of bread
to make this movie you're talking about.
You know, if it's cost of living.
Let's let me start right there, Roy.
You should never do open mic and say,
now this is gonna get me some money.
You should go into it being like,
this is a financial loser, but I like doing it.
And then if you randomly get fucking successful, great.
But I have a feeling that N-word joke
was straight out of the act.
Yeah, you're right.
The Dating the Spanish Shake Act.
That's just closer.
I miss violence and racism.
I think you try and go to one of those hybrid cities,
go to Raleigh-Durham where they wear bubble vests
but eat cheese grits.
Yeah, absolutely.
You know, one of those New York overlap-ish.
Sure, no, that's what, yeah,
why do you have to be where you are? Like, look you don't want to go back to living with your fucking parent?
But look at the end day if you also love New York, then maybe it is Long Island. Maybe it is the suburbs
Maybe it's somewhere on the outskirts like you know you know yeah
I mean not not that a story is cheap
but I just mean like if you really love it you got to go there and make it work, but if
But I just mean like if you really love it, you got to go there and make it work But if you just want I think a hybrid could work whether that's somewhere in the south or whether that's somewhere
Closer to New York with a smaller, you know a better cost of living
That might be the way to go little buddy. I just don't think that there is any scenario where
if
Where you can build the life you want for yourself
if you're not first happy.
Yeah, that's true.
And whatever misery you have in New York
is countered by your spirit being fed,
and then that could be the inspiration
for you to do better and want more
and be able to create more,
and actually parlay with people that's trying to build
versus whoever these people you're working with
that just wanna be the next funny funny fake-ass Andrew Schultz
That's what it sounds like sounds like they just do raises
No, I'm in pizzazz. I'm curious what he even means by that because it's like what just
Everybody wants to be the funniest biggest man in the room
It's like it doesn't that kind of also sound like New York?
Like what is New York?
A lot of fucking demure personalities?
I thought he meant funniest bigoted man.
No, no, no.
Okay, not that.
Man, just forget all that shit before that, my bad.
But maybe this is just not your,
you're like, maybe this is just not your culture and you need to move somewhere where you feel comfortable
But look you shouldn't want to fight you shouldn't move back home back home
But yeah, if you think you can stick it out and you really want to move back do it
But also there's a grass is greener situation like you might get to New York and then the problems
It'll be like I love it here. But man, I hate this little-ass basement apartment
It's like you really have to think about what's important to you
I do think you can find a nice middle ground personally, you know, I always thought if I if I
If I had to move out of New York, I don't you know, I love it here
I don't want to go anywhere
but it's like
I've been to places where I could be happy and that were cheaper if I needed them
To be but good luck. We have one last question here. We're gonna wrap up with Roy. Thank you so much for coming
Guys feels my parachute. Yeah. Yeah, not my parachute. Yeah, it's nice. It's nice
I'll smoke the Birmingham and shit and now it's like I mean Theo lives there now like it's the the the
Club is good,
they gotta, they gotta like,
they have a scene, a real scene.
You can perform every night in there.
Yeah, yeah.
It was not the norm.
Yeah.
Bro, when I, I'm so old, I started in 98,
open mic used to be once a month in some cities.
That's fucking wild, dude.
Tampa and Atlanta were the only cities
that had consistent weekly open mics.
Wow, fucking nuts. That is fucking crazy. Tampa and Atlanta were the only cities that had consistent weekly open my wow
Fucking nuts That is fucking crazy
All right, elders. What do you got to take us home here?
Hey, stop
Nobis and guess this isn't a question, but I just had to leave a message because this is funny
We saw you at the Goobies
It's been a couple weeks,
but you were calling out dentists
for giving away the toothbrush bags and stuff
about how much you hate dentists.
It was so funny because I'm a dental hygienist,
and as soon as I saw you were coming to McGoobies,
I texted my boss, the dentist,
and said we were both there at the show,
and it was just so funny while you were saying that. I was like pointing out. Yeah, what the? Goobies I texted my boss the dentist
But we love you guys so even though you hate the down
What do I need fucking a shitty toothbrush a
fucking tube of travel toothpaste, and floss in a fucking embroidered little pencil bag?
Why do I get that every, you're just giving me trash.
Name. I don't need it.
Name another branch of the healthcare industry
that actually gives you a fucking grab bag.
All right, next time I go to the dentist,
I'm giving you my grab bag, Roy.
Here's the wild part about the dentist.
You ask for a second toothbrush, they get annoyed.
It's a fucking toothbrush.
Give me another one.
And they were like,
because clearly for me this is a sneaker cleaning brush. Yeah, oh, OK, OK, respect.
But they were very much, I'll see.
Motherfucker is back there.
Come on, you got a tub of them.
You got a tub of them.
We will decide.
Shut the fuck up.
It just cost me $800 to be in here.
I can't get another toothbrush.
Fucking toothbrush.
But it's like, you know, you told me
to get the fucking electric one. You told me to get the fucking electric one.
You told me to buy a fucking expensive one.
Why are you giving me a fucking, you know, whatever,
Oral-B bullshit anyway.
Oh, it's not even Oral-B.
It's like, see, before he says the name, it's like Charles.
It's like, what fucking brand is this?
Yeah, I can get that shit.
Delta gives you some,
the same quality toothbrush sometimes.
Yeah, oh yeah Yeah the little fucking
That little motion bag. Yeah
So anyway, thanks for coming to the goobs. I always love to get over. Oh fuck. I have to deposit that check actually
The owner's mad at me and he's like and I also might not be there if I keep waiting
Bro, I've worked those clothes. Yeah
All right, we gotta say this episode I gotta go to chase bank everybody Roy. Thank you so much guys watch the special
It's so funny. It's on Hulu right now. It also looks fucking incredible
But because I bet we we've ever since we I've produced mine and I've actually started caring about how special
Oh, it's like dude. It's fuck
It's it might be my favorite since mine came out and we like cuz we watched a bunch of old ones
Yours was like I'm gonna be watching it when it's time for the next one to like see how you did a lot of that
Shit, it looked awesome watch Ari Shafir's and get furious to
Forest yeah, that's a little much for me. I think he overdid it personally
I prefer the look at you. I think Ari look the the one he did for Jew was really nice and the lighting was interesting
What are you in a fucking rainforest cafe Ari? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I thought this one was a little much
But go watch special outs on Hulu right now lonely flowers and yeah
It is funny I should I should send the text we should do a video of the text exchange
It's literally like what's up, man?
I'm gonna be recording and it's the lid we went back and forth for literally like you were one of the first batch
we reached out to when we started the podcast but we got it done and we love it thanks for coming man and we
will talk to you guys next time bye bye idiot