Stavvy's World - #121 - Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland join the pod to discuss Adam killing the mood at a party with an off-color joke, why movies aren’t as awesome as they used to be, spending way too much money on Eames chairs, DIY dental work, and much more. Nick, Adam and Stav help callers including a national park ranger who wants tips on hooking up with seasonal visitors, and a woman encountering too many gooners on dating apps. Visit https://helixsleep.com/stavvy to receive 20% off all orders sitewide. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com! https://www.booking.com/  Get 20% off @chubbies with the code STAVVY at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Check out The Adam Friedland Show:  https://www.youtube.com/@TheAdamFriedlandShow https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ https://www.patreon.com/theadamfriedlandshow Follow Nick Mullen and see him live: https://www.mull.dog/  https://www.instagram.com/mulldogforever https://www.tiktok.com/@mulldogforever https://x.com/nycguidovoice  Follow Adam Friedland and see him live: https://www.adamfriedland.com/ https://twitter.com/adamfriedland https://www.instagram.com/adamfriedland  🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Oppa! Welcome everybody to Stavisworld. 904-800-STAV. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. Special episode here, I got my old pal Nick Mullin on the couch. Adam Friedland is also, might be here, he's actually in the living room taking a call. Oh shit, Elders with the big guns right off the top, dude. Elders fucking got the fucking classic guitar riff. That's probably gonna cause an issue with somebody. They're gonna hear that,

and they're gonna fucking just pull over. It'd be like falling down. Yeah, they're gonna start crying. They're gonna remember being 18 in their life, being horrible but having a great time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is gonna trigger people. I can't imagine all the people out there who would slit my throat to be sitting in this chair right now. But like having a great time. Yeah

People out there who would slit my throat to be sitting in this chair right now You were getting like people after shows I gotta be the people that like man, you know come town really helped me through a hard time And I'm pretty university. I'll say to them like well, I hope things are going better now. Yeah, 50% of time. Well, no I guess not. Not really, but that was a nice solve for the first four years before you guys started phoning it in. Look who it is. Sit down. Oh, let's hear What happened 20 minutes before he leaves you guys Maya, can you call me before we start? Can you pretend to be mad?

I said I thought of this great joke about Patrick Mahomes and I don't have a way To work it in like it's I'm coming up with it on the spot. So I need you to come up with a fake story about how everyone's, this is my one chance. I feel bad. This is my one chance. Okay, my friend, his girlfriend's friends were there and then I'm. So you're at a Super Bowl party

and this is coming out probably in what, April? And I guess I said Mahomo. Right? I said Mahomo. I guess I said Mahomo. Yeah, April. I said Mahomo and then there were two gay guys there. Mahomo, which you know, I think a joke's like that all the time I'm not hateful. I'm not a hateful guy. You know me okay. I didn't realize those guys were gay

You're at a gay party Yes, we put the Super Bowl Christopher Street in the West Village. No. But then, everyone's in leather overalls. The worst part is, the worst thing, yeah, leader hosted. Yeah. With butt flaps. The guy dressed up like a Native American got very mad at me. So I went over to the construction worker,

and I said, what the hell is this guy's problem? I thought I was at a blue collar sort of working man's event. Yep. Yep. Mm-hmm. No, but the worst part is that he was just like, yeah, after you left, everyone was like, what the fuck was he on wow I made an ass you bombed it's not that you made a homophobic joke if you made that joke and everybody

loved it you'd be like I'm the man well I kept also saying that Kendrick Lamar should apologize for anti-semitism during the half foot halftime show that's funny which I believe that is not a joke oh really what do you say that's anti-semitic? They not like us By the way, thanks Adam for making this episode that comes out in April instantly dated from minute three My birthday is coming up is Aries Hitler's birthday, right? Well, April 20th Belligerent I wasn't be I have it's very embarrassing

It's really embarrassing to party for you to leave a party Was that that's a thing you tell your therapist like well, of course that didn't happen That's what happens in your mind. That's the one thing. The fuck was that idiot? That's the thing you tell your therapist and they're like, well of course that didn't happen. Maybe a couple people would have been annoyed, but I'm sure you're fine. But no, everyone was like, ugh, thank god he's gone. No, but apparently they were also offended that me and the guy who was sitting next to me were reading Kanye's tweets to each other. Hilarious. But I'm Jewish, I could read. You but I'm Jewish I could read you can do it

I could freeze You can't be offended by did you bring food to the party I Brought no, so you're a bad guest you go to a super bowl party Remember when he went to the wedding and he thought it thought it was a valid gift that he paid for his own flight to go to the wedding? That was so awesome. My presence is a presence. And by the way, we all know what you were making. We were all pretty rich at the time. No we weren't. No we weren't.

We were making like $4,000 a month for each of us. And you were buying like a $6 thousand dollar oven at the time for no That's bullshit. That's okay, but you you had lying on my name money in entertainment Basically, I mean it was phenomenal. Yeah, yeah, you couldn't have said us you could have bought them a hundred dollars exactly the cheapest thing on their I went to that wedding because I knew I like wouldn't talk to the guy again if I didn't go to the wedding and I Have not talked to him again. Yeah, cuz they were like he didn't even fucking no no it's not my fault

It's not my fault, but you didn't get him a prize cuz my bohemian lifestyle just didn't jive with Because now That's good stuff. If I'd been at that party, it'd be like the meme, the fucking human resources meme would affect us. That's so embarrassing. Ew, he's creepy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's you. Well, Adam, if you had come through with like an amazing buffalo dip or like a dessert,

they would be like, you know what, he was weird. He said that weird thing, but. He brought Mountain Dew Code Red. Mountain Dew Code Red and the sliders were awesome No, no, I think it would have helped real cuz you just caught what cuz those those gay guys that were would have been like They like dips. What are you talking about? Yeah, if you're come through I was no they were police Guess what you guys don't like dip. I'm sorry our guy got reelected. I'm sorry. It's a league It's legal to say my home

It's the Super Bowl you can say I'm sorry. I mean yeah, it is also just not that good It is like it was not good enough. It was a throwaway Why would you say that in a group of people you don't know? Because I know half of them and we say that kind of stuff. So it was a joke. You were trying to be funny and you fucking bombed. No I didn't. No. I was just like, oh fucking Mahomo. You bombed so bad you're getting calls about it. I wasn't at the Apollo.

We all know what it's like to bomb socially and you bombed at the- I've never bombed socially once. You just did. There's fall out from a Super Bowl party matching people after you look I'm asking people after you leave somewhere be like There's any place that's like it's acceptable for there to be one guy that's like racist or homophobic at a football event Usually you have your uncle like zoomed in right and he's like well So usually those these guys are violent animals They have the brain of a white man, so they're okay. Yeah

Yeah, that is fucking hilarious man. But yeah, if you if you would come with something a nice offering You go to a super they were the whole he wrote down he wrote down on a Post-it note he wrote down say Patrick Mahomo and he folded it up and put it in his pocket. He was sweating Yeah, he said anything funny in a while. Yeah, and he's just like a Patrick Mahomo breaking class breaking case of emergency Patrick Mahomo It's like the game is on By the way, he had a horrible game.

He had a horrible game. There was nothing to be like, oh, fucking Mahomo about. He was blowing it. He threw fucking a pig six. It was like the first quarter I said Mahomo. But he hadn't scored, he didn't score until the second half. He had a horrible game. But everyone's expecting he's going to do his magic all over again.

So you weren't even even I don't remember why You're shaking right you weren't even locked into the game. It wasn't even appropriate to say it. You did force Mahomo I miss you guys I'm so happy right now. I don't think I've been this happy I don't know I lost these friends. So I need I need this back right now. Yeah, so don't go on tour I'm going on which is started you might in the middle. Yeah, we're in the middle of it Please buy tickets to see me on the dreamboat tour coming up Where are we all this figure out what's coming with dates are coming up do a little fucking producing for Christ's sake

I love this girl on the bus You know we're getting elvis is it was funny to be in the super bowl when they were like uh... and here we are new orleans the site of a horrific terrorist attack at the beginning of the year and it's like you know one of them yet what are you are some guys shot like i drove a truck or it was a car or you know a bunch of people that were going dive alcohol boys anyways oh he's getting another call all right we're in Columbia

Missouri tonight we're in Columbia Missouri tonight yes wait wait no it was a fake oh my oh yeah we stopped we moved on like wait, let's go back to talking about me Four minutes ago They were gonna maybe move on to a different topic Don't have to talk about this anymore. Well, what did they say? You said you're gonna let's talk about you stop Okay, what do you want to talk? I don't know You know what the cruelest part about being on tour is? Being separated from my Helix sleep mattress. Oh, it's like a cloud, baby.

I sleep gorgeously. Look, we get a nice night's rest in our bunks on a moving vehicle, but it's nothing compared to the Helix sleep ever since we've been with Helix. At this point, Elders What has been a couple years now, right? Yeah, definitely. They hooked the whole team up.

I have slept better, and I'm a plus-size boy, okay? Sometimes I have back better and I'm a plus size boy, okay? Sometimes I have back issues if I don't sleep on my Helix mattress, but with it, no back issues to speak of. It's wonderful, I miss it, I have a week off. I'm about to snooze. I'm gonna try and hit 10 hours on my bed at night. We, I got it, Elders has it.

They have all different types of body types. Yeah, did we get, I don't remember what it's called, but it's for the most plus size of plus size people. It's, they got everything for ya. Get a Helix mattress, be like me, Eldis. Benny Buttcheeks has a Helix mattress. We got the whole team on Helixes. We want you to be a Helix boy or girl just like us.

Go to helixsleep.com slash stavi for the March Madness Sale. That's 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.com slash stavi for the March Madness Sale. Helixsleep.com slash stavi. I'm an uncle, that's my biggest life thing right now. I'm pumped about that.

No, no, no, no. Me, a kind of kid? Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going uncle mode, I'm pumped. Whoa, that is pretty sick, dude, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Right. You know, it's like ruining Thanksgiving because you're like I think they're people and they're like, oh my god It is funny he's 20 I'm gonna be 55 That's crazy Yeah, I'm gonna be wait. What it's a boy. Yeah, right. Yeah

I'm bad math. I don't know why I tried to check you. It's a boy. I'm like, don't you mean 72? It's adding 20 to 35. You're disagreeing with that? It's like, it's simple as math. I just saw Oppenheimer. I'm trying out a new thing. Is it 75? Yeah, dude. I'm going uncle mode.

Congrats, Sav. I can't wait to get high and watch John wick with a 15 year old and in 15 years Oh your nephew. Yeah stuff like this used to be important. Yeah This is culture. They got a car day coming out. I am excited about it. Yeah, I don't know I was by the time for I mean I was loved for I was right karate The Japanese part was fucking awesome. Yeah, I don't even remember it was fucking good I actually really I liked it was more than three one and two I loved three was just okay Yeah, four was I thought a return to form if a little long for my taste

But it just ended it was basically two different movies. Yeah, but mashed together. Yeah, it should be four and five No, I mean I liked it how it was yeah, cuz that's like, you know I don't want I don't have to wait a whole but yeah three was a little whatever and One thing I will say why weren't there tits in that movie in those movies good kind of fucked up Good like action probably will be in the girl movie. I don't think so, dude Yeah, that's a fucked up thing that we've done is like everything's got to be good for China Even our action movies it used to be like China's the bad guy. Well China doesn't want tits in their movies. Do they I? Think everybody does but I don't know I think it's not like again. So they want you to be like I don't know

I think you just can't criticize China right everything else is and then you can you show tits you can't have black people in the China right everything else is and then you can show tits you can't have black people in the Their raises, but yeah, go ahead. Yeah, can you show? See why Chinese drama's more conservative. Yeah, so what I'm saying is like Think about let's see Classic Schwarzenegger like there's I feel like they were teaching like even Terminator romance true romance had a nice amount Oh recall had three guys three tits three And you'd like you really wanted to fuck Sharon Stone even though you didn't really see her naked or anything

You saw her pussy in that's in the basic instinct. Yeah, which you know, I'd rather see tits I think apparently I'd rather feel pussy and see no one on set knew I'd rather see tits. I think apparently I'd rather feel pussy and see no one on set knew What do you mean that she was about to show Beaver? Oh? Newman must have been that must have been fun that day Honestly, I would have been like oh shit like if a bitch showed her pussy in a movie I didn't know it was coming. I would have been like oh No, someone someone was like thank God. I'm a best boy. Yeah That makes my whole life then if they went to Sharon Stone and be like, yeah, so here's a script and you know, like you're bad or something

Yeah in this scene you show your pussy No, I'm gonna continue, you know, it's cool She's like, okay. Yeah And also if you're the director and like do you do a take where she shows her pussy and she's like, how is that? You can't be like yeah, we're not gonna use that. Oh, what the fuck call the police That is another one of the the HR memes things imagine if an ugly bitch is like I'm showing my pussy in this way They've been like we're going to jail Like why don't I shove my pussy in James Kahn's face?

About Schmidt. Yeah, you see her hooters. I like that. A fat old lady's tits are kind of fun to look at. She should have done it in Titanic. That would have been awesome. Jack should have drawn Cathy Bates. The unfuckable Molly Brown.

Yeah, yeah. Jack should have drawn Cathy Bates. He should have just, he should have done both. He should have been like, all right, I'm going to chill for a little bit. And then he just fucks Cathy Bates right after. He's just been on he should have done both. He should have been like, all right, I gotta, I'm gonna chill for a little bit. And then he just fucks Kathy Bates right after. He's just been on a pussy-pair.

Yeah, he just fucked like four girls on the Titanic. He fucked Fabrizio. And like one Irish guy. Oh yeah, Fabrizio was kinda hot. I found a YouTube video that's like, like in loving memory of Fabrizio. And it's like a montage of all of the scenes set to like, boodoo, doodoo. Yeah, dooo dooo. And it's like this is the character you attached to.

This movie, and there's all these people, Fabrizio is my favorite character. I'm like in love with that WAP. I don't really, I mean I just remember him being his poor friend. Did he, how did Fabrizio die in that movie? The fucking smoke, the smokestack crushes him. Oh yeah, that's right. Pull up Fabrizio die in that movie the fucking smoke the smoke stack crush? That's right pull up Fabrizio Titanic for fuck's sake I'll pull up Fabrizio nude Like like Nick a little bit no he doesn't at all if they got the hat that could be doesn't look like This guy looks fucking I met in a handsome way, but he doesn't look like anything at all this guy looks fucking I met in a handsome way but he doesn't look any new chi he also is the kind of Italian that actually has a claim to saying he's not white he kind of looks a little Colombian stop stop give him his give him the vape it's my

Bob I'll just start up I'll just start a timer they have to switch names back and forth it's mine how long do you guys switch? This is a socialist podcast dude. That is true. We share things that it actually were apolitical You know, we really stay out of center left. You're center left That's right. I've been watching West. This is the most lib shit. I've been watching this since Trump won to remember Oh my god, but like it's so funny. It's so funny what the issues of the day were it would they were like should gay guys go to the army Uniforms to school It's like the one of the black joint chiefs. I forget that actor remember I don't watch like I love our Burton He's like you just not be more Burton was in the Michael Winslow thinking

Yeah, Jordy LaFloid Wait was that a real guy Jordan Jordan it was a real guy Wait, was that a real guy? It was a real guy. Who's Jordy Jordy? On Star Trek his name is Jordy LaForge I never watched Star Trek, you know what? I've been on my tic tocs or my fucking YouTube shorts What's come up a lot is Seth MacFarlane's weird? Star Trek show have you seen that like oh yeah?

Steve Carell right space no no no this is just like Seth MacFarlane just straight-up made his own Star Trek And I've only watched it through YouTube shorts And it's just like kind of feels like great value Star Trek they have their own Klingons Cleveland in it or no yeah Cleveland's like I I wanna get some alien pussy. Or whatever the fuck. Giggity, giggity. That's quagmire. Yeah, I know. I have been also watching a lot of family. I feel like it's so funny.

If Seth MacFarlane did that, then fucking Jean-Luc Picard should do that with Family Guy. Oh yeah. And it would go a little bit so. I'm Stewie. I'm Cleveland. I'm Cleveland. Stewie.

Look at me, I'm fucking Cleveland. Let's go get pussy together Stewie Take that Who's the gay who's oh, he's saying is he gay or he Everything about him. I think I'm because taking shots. Yeah, the baby's gay and family guy stewies gay Yeah, which is interesting move McFarlane is gay, too. No, he's's gay and family guy stewies. Yeah, yeah, which is interesting move McFarlane's gay too. No, he's a friend. He's a friend has he done this you trying to get him on the show Yeah, he did that one time. I was saying something completely innocuous about post Malone. He's a friend and then Adam goes My friend does bud light commercials One of my best friends does Bud Light commercials with him.

Well, he would call me his best friend. He's just one of my friends. Oh, yeah, yeah for sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. He kept bet. He was like on tire shim was like damn I miss Adam. Did he say that? He said it every day. Yeah. Yeah. I wish he would. He sent me multiple texts like the morning after Like seeing him where he's like, you know, I don't actually hate every Jew in the other For some reason see you brings that out of him Also, it's like nobody hated every one of them right even Hitler there was like a guy that made like biscuits for him or something Really? I think so. Yeah. No, there was a guy guy that made like biscuits for him or something really I think so There was a guy it was like his childhood doctor Wow and he's like this guy's the one right this guy's the no homers

Yeah, yeah Much of a they Hitler's favorite okay, don't don't Google Hitler's biscuit You know I can't you can you can Google whatever you want X out of this man. I don't German biscuit giant apologizes for all right fucking Google it again You comes up boys are back in town boys are back in town this episode got demonetized the second we recorded who cares check out the Adam Friedland show the times of Israel checked up click that one is probably the truth don't don't do that one do go to politico.eu you won't even call it Israel don't give them more clicks man oh star roast in this day and age German biscuit Titan says sorry for taking

Yeah, go leave news and pick up maker admits it used forced laborers during World War two Okay, use collet the hoggles are making chocolate biscuits. I bet the cookies tasted You see that brand in the store sometimes I see those cookies the lead nibble ones and I'm like do that. I want a cookie. Yeah, you see that brand in the store Sometimes I see those cookies the evening ones and I'm like, maybe I can look at the guy on the right Is that his cock that's not his cock. Wait, no right there. It's like past his knee. No, I don't think that's water damage Yeah, that's not as car. Yeah zoom in eldest. Oh, I thought it was this day hands enhance So okay, so go now zoom out. What is that? What what kind of cookies this let's look at?

They're like shortbread cookies Keep scrolling man. Maybe they have a picture of the cookies. I'm pissed. I'm fucking hungry sugar coated apology Issued a sugar coated apology for the comments. Okay, whatever. Yeah, look up what kind of cookies these are. They're good They're like shortbread. They're like, you, the little Scotty dog cookies. Mm-hmm. You never um, this is oh, oh, yes Those are good. Oh, these are good Liebens. Yeah I've seen these. Yeah, these are good. Sometimes I'll eat like a whole box of these and be like it's fine Yeah, I'm in France. I'm fucking Parisian. It's like I'm in the Holocaust Hey, come on, madam. What shut up?

Staying age dude. There's one going on right there. Yep. Yeah, the new hot. It's April right the Holocaust has started Is it seasonal? No, I mean it's by at this point. You know yeah, I hope not that would be thank you I'm coming out and you don't want to got away with it. They just did it a little bit every year You know what I mean? Point if they only there was like one of them they just did like oh Slow burn we're talking not metaphorical you mean like for me and we're back for real Yeah, I don't see here. I don't think they would just a thousand I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I don't think you could do a thousand. Thank you get away with it Israel

Does it yeah, but that's not a little I think they did every year. They call it mowing the lawn They do that's what they call it Christ. I'm not kidding. Look up mowing the lawn. Look that up. Let's go back to talking about cookies That's what my dad the phrase mowing the lawn. Let's see what comes on my dad calls taking a shit He's like I'm gonna go mow the lawn or talkwn care you have to add a little context. No, that's all where that's all you get all you get is mowing the lawn Result, that's that tell me that's not the American history X guy Home Depot the Home Depot commercial Home Depot link Let's talk mowers. What are your favorite mowers? You seem like a guy that never I would never get on a ride on really I would guess for sure you wanna lazy shit

I've ever seen well because you were a bonsai guy No, I try I couldn't even get the thing to sprout yeah And then I realized you get mad like 25 years, and I was like this is some stupid Japanese bullshit Are you but you don't want you don't want to go Zen or whatever? Not with fucking doing gardening. What do you want to go with that? Taking cradles. Do you have a lawn at this place though?

I don't have a lawn. None of your properties. None of my properties. You have 11 houses. My property. I have 2.5 shitty homes in southeast Baltimore. My family lives in 1.5 of them. So you got one whole house. Wait, what family lives in 1.5 of them so you got one way I was winning 1.5

I Basically that he has I believe has that I bought half my mother's home to help And then I also have that house that my brothers lived used to live in that now. I think my dad yeah It was like you know you guys are not allowed to come Yeah, I was imagining it was like, you know, you guys are not allowed to come on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put a stripper line down the middle. I was like, yeah, fucking 90s sitcom style. This side of the house is mine. This episode of Starbiz World? That's right, it's brought to you by booking.com, booking.yeah. Folks, we're on the tour, it's no secret, I'm on the bus again.

I've been on this thing five days in a row Eldis Saxon Jamelle's on here right now too much. You know what I'm doing today I'm hitting up booking.com and I'm finding a luxurious hotel with a big bathtub for me to soak and you know I like to get my soaks in and I'm doing that through booking.com. I was very I was lucky I hit up booking.com found a place a block from the venue, five stars, got a pretty good rate on it. That's what booking.com has. Whatever you're looking for, it's a nice bargain, whether it's a hotel room, some kind of extended stay. We've done places with kitchens so I can cook my chicken and peps. Whatever you're looking for, booking.com

has got it. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah. This is empty before it's empty. I wanted water. Elders, would you get our guests a couple liquid deaths? And you know what?

I also have a little surprise for them get those get a couple boxes of those these cookies I'm sorry if I got a little too spicy with the mowing the lawn no What do you what do you see that is real though? Did you not know that I don't know the phrase mowing the well? Yeah, well thank God at this point Gaza is the 51st state Yeah, yeah, we've they've opened Trump Trump the Trump Taj Mahal to to on the Gaza City on the beach Gorgeous. Yeah, man. We are it is hilarious. I wonder how fucked will be in April I wonder if eggs will cost $40, but you just said you can't have eggs anymore. I like egg whites

I love those commercials for eggs when I was a kid with the old man They'd be like the incredible edible the incredible edible egg, and then there's a stinger on the em or some old-ass man He would look at the camera and goes They are good and I love a fried egg sandwich and I love a little bacon. I didn't like eggs growing up until I learned how to cook eggs when I was like 28. Mmm, there we go. Those are iced teas and we each get a little box of cookies. And they're fresh by the way.

They're fresh, they were baked to celebrate the birth of my nephew. So these aren't from Christmas, these are from like a week ago. Where did she get the boxes? She gets them from Michael's I believe. Oh, nephew. So these aren't from Christmas. These are from a week ago. Where did she get the boxes? She gets them from Michael's, I believe. Oh, OK. Oh, man. What a lady.

Yeah. I had a good experience at Michael's the other day. What happened? Adam ripped one of the set. Oh, my. It wasn't my fault at all. We spent $4,000 each on those chairs. They're like.

Wait, you got real chairs? Yeah. You didn't get the dupes? No, no, no. On the real Dick Cavett show, he used dupes. Of course. Why would you just get dupes? They're like Yeah, like the dude On the real dick cabbage show he used dupes of cool. Why would you just get do Nick says they ought to be sourced from the same place. We've got a guy in Pennsylvania because the leather has to be Yeah, max oh Max says those are time-life lobby chairs to see if you can find those I said, okay, and then there was a courthouse

Getting rid of some guy found like 17 of them in a courthouse. Oh nice. They're the right color I was like great, you know, and I did cut a deal on they were like 42 or something Jesus Christ. And so yeah, we got But they're they're 50 year old chairs. Yeah, that's cool. You can turn around and sell them for the same That's cool. Yeah, but they are like, you know Vintage designer chairs. Yeah, and he ripped the button. I think there's no there's nothing connecting me to that button Did you really do that man? Yeah, he ripped one of them so I had to put the button back on the chair and I needed to learn how to you weren't even

There I'm asking why would I you, did you do it? Wow. The crowd has turned on you Adam. Eldest, I'm your only friend in this room right now. That's not true, he's my best friend. He's telling you not to Google, you can Google whenever you want Eldest. You have Google privileges now, you tried to ask to Google when we were doing our final I didn't know Project that was a separate project. This is Mike. Welcome to the Adam Friedland show Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah, you know host from the guest chair Sabros. You're recently in Hawaii, right? No, and you you recently had the birth of a nephew. That's true. Congratulations So what you're saying is when you're 55

Not even sort of true. I don't know that's something they say on talk show. Okay. I'm trying to get better at this talk Okay. All right. There you go practice on us We you haven't been seen my growth. I've seen your growth, but this is a Pretend even crazier. You're the Black Eyed Peas? Yeah, yeah. I'm Fergie, he's Will.i.am. Okay. Yeah, I'm whoever that is.

Eldis is the Native American? Native American? Yes. What's his name? Like Delirious or something? Actually, Stav is the Black Eyed Peas, I'm the Roots. You're the Roots? Okay, I'm the whole band, the Black Eyed Peas.

He's the whole band, yeah, and I'm the Roots. So what was it like working with Scott Storch? It was awesome. We never worked with him, but we liked the videos where he's high as shit playing piano. Getting a haircut, smoking a cigarette. And I like to imagine how much pussy Scott Storch, because he's kind of ugly, but he was in Miami and he lost all his money on boats. He got so much pussy.

He lost like $200 billion because he got addicted to yachts and cocaine. There's a really good drink champs with him. Like, oh really? From like eight years ago where he talks about this thing called the Miami Blizzard that him and his friends got into where he was like, I was with a massive pop star icon woman and he wouldn't say the name of people. People think it's Mariah Carey. Oh, and he said, do you want any cocaine? And she said, yes, but I don't do it in my nose. I do it in my culo.

So he took a straw and he had to blow it into her bum. And then him and his friends got addicted to this thing they called the Miami Blizzard, where they'd line up porn stars and then they'd blow drugs into their asses. Damn, that's awesome. That actually sounds pretty fucking cool that actually sounds like a cool guy what are the coolest going into their asses yeah yeah I carry come on you think so I mean he said it's about spread me open let it let it blow hmm. I'm a little rusty. How does that go?

Which one am I singing? I get fucked every night I get fucked every night Suck it and dig it Get Ah damn yeah I've lost my touch man No come on we can get it back We got the Vegas residency Yeah we gotta get it ready for our Vegas residency

Wait what After my 14th divorce settlement Yeah I've never signed a prenup She loves me guys I mean yeah you are the kind of idiot Yes she has a check in pass yeah she loves me yeah you are the kind of yes that would check it past yeah it's different it's an actual dog yeah just married the Pomeranian brother from the Ukraine lives with us and is clearly a guy that's just fucking the shit out of us.

No, her brother moved in with us. Her brother's a refugee. You just hear like... Yeah, yeah. Oh, they're doing folk dancing. No, they're doing doggies. Yeah, just loud doggies. My parents are over for Passover.

Her brother and her do... yeah, they're doing... they're clogging. They're refugees from the war. Every wife is the same age, no matter how old you are they're all 27 or whatever they're all yeah Yeah, I justify it because I'm anti Putin and they're right Ukrainian reference even though they're just Russians Yeah, I'm just bragging about how I'm kind of a good guy Yeah, have you are you planning your wedding Adam? Are you are you if you got an address? Yeah, whatever every plan that I proposed has been outright rejected. Mmm. I asked if me and three friends could Could do each are based on like Adam Sandler movie. No You have like bad ideas I asked if me and three friends could do each verse of international players and

It's a wedding song it's a a wedding song. Isn't it like he's retiring from getting pussy? Yeah. Yeah. He sent a text to a girl that he used to see. Yeah. Yeah. He said that, which is I CC all the girls that I used to see around town. You know, I plan on sending texts to girls that I used to see. Just so you know, just so you know, you could speak now with her. Even though you've been dating for years. Yeah, yeah, I know I've been with the love of my life for six years But if any of the Fucked after my brain Michelle remember Michelle She was like on the episode four of come town or something that girl that I career the Korean girl

She used to she used to send nudes to other guys from my bed Yeah, and then yeah, I forgot about her I'm still I'm friends with Michelle, but she reminded me the other day. No She's just send her tits to other guys in your bed, and you're like we're how we weren't dating We used to stop okay, and she was yeah, she's crazy I was like, but she's my girl, but she reminded me she reminded me Sounds pretty cool now that I think she is a boyfriend Was the first dick pic I'd ever sent and I didn't know so I just pulled my pants down took a picture of my

Flasks and penis and I didn't know so I just pulled my pants down and took a picture of my flaccid penis I didn't know What do you mean? And she said she said I remember she texted me back. She's a retarded person 2011 you didn't know to get your dick hard. That's early It was the first dick pic I ever said and so she said I'm actually depressed now Soft cock pic I got nervous that's crazy. You never sent a picture of your car. It was my first dick pic ever.

Instinctually though you should know that's not. That's crazy. Right. Did you fluff it? No I'm humble. Wow. Come on. That's a horrific thing to send a woman.

How big is your dick soft? Or he's lying. Yeah. He's like actually it was soft. Yeah. Yeah, actually She's gonna say it was probably hard No, yeah, she's like, oh, this is the worst I said this to seven guys and this is the worst one I got back That's so funny you didn't fluff at all I didn't I never said a dick pic before she just she was you weren't sexting you were just she just asked for your

Cock middle of the day like 11 a.m.. She said send me a dick pic lol So I was like oh, yeah, so I'm gonna do a one, nice and soft? No, I didn't even do it hilariously. What were you doing at the time? 2011? 2011? Were you here? Or were you in DC? Had we started in Comtown? I think it was before Comtown. No, that was 2016. Maybe the tail end of 2015?

It was 2016. Oh no, it was 2011. May of 2016. I'm lying right now. It had to have been 2014 then. Okay, so that's even less defensible. 2014 you didn't notice in your dick hard I had a fabulous girlfriend in DC before I left oh yeah she was awesome guys so much together nothing but cool I mean you literally

are married we went to Australia do that argument we got in in Australia was the funniest argument of all I don't remember it which one because Nick was dying of laughter at us arguing because I wanted to take a shower you're like you're like I have fucking busted in 10 days oh you were like you were on a girlfriend trip with us in Japan it was fucking annoying you're on the most annoying trip of all sucked and by the way yeah you I still I remember it was your classic little trick of like I had just fucked my foot up and I couldn't walk remember and I was like oh let's go to somewhere like a beach let's go to like

Thailand before Australia somewhere relaxing and then I did not reject Thailand. Then it switched to like Japan. If would have been school whatever parts of Thailand But yeah, yeah, but now but then it was like the whole trip was walking I wanted to chill and by the way, it wasn't close to Australia Japan That shit came over and then you text us we were at breakfast you're like I got the poison out of my body boys. Yeah, I'm good. I'm sorry Yeah, I wanted to fuck you guys want to hang out a little bit left on our lunch break if you remember, right? What's oh, yeah the middle of the day and you said oh, so I'll see you at the show tomorrow night

And she's like what's shag and you're like, you know the come town show tomorrow night. She's like now I just like you for your buddy It was a girl who's in the fat guy She's like, no, I just like you for your buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a girl who's into fat guys. She just liked your body. Yeah. It was amazing.

It was kind of crazy. She left him. She left work. That was awesome. Yeah, I fucked her on the roof of our Airbnb. And I was like, I want to shower. You're like, I need to come. Yeah, I needed the bus, dude.

You were fucking. But Nick was just sitting there just dying of laughter. I mean, showering instead of your friend getting pussy. It wasn't instead what a fucking asshole We had three bedrooms. Thank you. I stand by you can clear out and get a little lunch It's basically like switch the order of your shower and lunch. I chose to be Switzerland If you remember during World War two Germany was killing all these Jews Britain got mad about it in Switzerland said I'm just gonna see her in laugh Yeah

God forbid you get a little giggle Fucking asshole so it did that whole trip was so you go shopping We went to fucking Tokyo so you and Dasha could wear little outfits fucking piece of shit Dasha needed clothes I think about it We went to Japan so you could spend $20,000 on fucking your girlfriend I think about that department store The exchange for the yen was phenomenal Once a week I think

Look there were cool parts of Japan don't get me wrong We had some great meals Just talking in Japanese people's ears You being rude on the train and them being so mad. You were hitting Adam with a fucking umbrella in his shin. And every Japanese person was like looks so disgusted at you.

They're so easy to upset. You didn't mean well to him. I was on the escalator and I kind of leaned forward so that my ass was directly in his face. Yeah, no, they hated that. And your underwear was a little out. So it was like, they could kind of see your ass through your jeans.

Remember how I got him like seven times in the end game in Australia? Yeah, farting in the green room. Farting in my face in the green room. Wow, that was awesome. You got him right in the face, dude. It was literally seven times in a row. It was awesome. I just felt the air, like, on my cheek. That was fucking crazy.

That greater one was like one of the most direct farts in a person's face I've ever seen in my life. Why was I so... What was I doing? I don't know, but that was the craziest part. Cause it was like, you got it in your mouth like five times in a row. And you were even like, alright, that's not happening and like truly Like Homer with the chips puppies

That was the show where I accidentally stood up to racism, but I couldn't understand what the guy was saying in Melbourne I remember yeah, they were like I thought they were heckling me like you're a gay you're a bug Whatever if you guys remember the Melbourne show was like Comic-con there was like fat Hawaiian shirt guys there were Adidas tracks. That would happen a lot It was like guys would dress up as one of the three of us all this little eerie guys I kind of think that we sort of just look like Australian people without realizing no no they were guys They were like Comic-con they were trying to look like you

But guy their guys you try to look like you or me and then some guys The little eerie guys would be like yes, so my friends also call me a So I really are data far with the Adam character Thank you Thanks, I'm so glad No, but yeah in Melbourne. I thought someone was just calling me gay or some other do a bit from the show But but uh and so I was like shut up like you'll never be on come town. I got a huge And then I went back to the hotel and apparently...

He's laughing about something we were next to him for. You were back... No, no. Apparently they were saying like despicable slurs about Aboriginals. Oh, interesting. And I just couldn't hear what they were saying. But I was accidentally... Actually, I don't even mean to.

Shut up. Destroy... What they were saying, but I was accidentally yeah, I don't even mean to Destroy I was trying to say that I didn't actually know I was setting up to racism. I was thinking I was the humble here I hate myself I want to die with you guys. I just want to be in hospital beds holding hands. Dying of HIV. They gave you as a prank. In the wedding. In Greenwich Village.

Swinging the wires up differently in the hospital. The fluids are going. You just hear from behind a curtain. What you doing with my, with my, with my fluid tube? What you putting at? I'm like, shh, I'm playing a prank on Adam. Okay, what you doing with that too? Adam's like, my arm feels cold.

There's something cold creeping up my arm. That will be nice man. Someday we'll get there. After the Vegas residency, we'll all be in a fucking hospital bed together. I just learned that hospice isn't a place. I thought it was a complete can be. It's a place you go to and they just like suck you off and give you cigarettes. They suck your dick? They do whatever you want. That's pretty sick. They should do that Yeah, I should suck your hospice isn't like oh like they're not like doctors. They come and they're like, yeah

I'll read you Garfield comics or your dog. Yeah, you're just dying. Yeah So we'll make you as comfortable as possible. I'm pretty sure they service you so be awesome They should give happy endings in hospice. I might be confusing hospice care in that episode of deadwood when the priest is dying He does go crazy he had like a fucking brain tumor or something yeah Yeah, and they wouldn't even let he all he wanted to do was listen to music and they're like well He was can't be at the whorehouse. He wouldn't shut them out of the whorehouse so fucked up Yeah, what's worse was kills him, right? Yeah, but they but he just wanted to fight

He was like clapping and shit listening to music and they're like look it's a bad look for me to have a priest in here Which is like you're a fucking whorehouse So fucked up March madness is here folks and you know what that means high stakes stakes hoops, buzzer beaters, unpredictable stuff, everyone's bracket turning to dog shit before their very eyes. It's a time of excitement, unpredictability, a time where legends are forged.

Basically, it's a time to wear chubbies. Pretty fucking good segue, huh? Yeah, chubbies. That's that good shit, baby. I've been a chubby fan since I was a junior in college That's not that's no bullshit. My I love their swim trunks I found them originally because I like to expose my thighs All right

Very few brands have shorts for a fat man where he can show off a little skin Chubbies was ahead of the market on that there in they were on the bleeding edge fat guy thighs being exposed, and it's not just their shorts, their swim trunks, they got little polos, elastic shit, you know what I mean? Stretch stuff, I got some nice Hawaiians I've purchased in the past. I love Chubbies, they look good, they got their performance, they're stylish.

You go for a little stroll, you go on the beach, you wanna just look good, whatever it is in lounge, you wanna watch games on your couch all day. Chubbies is good for that too. I truly love this brand from the bottom of my heart. It has been something that's stuck with me. I tried to do an online contest to be like the Chubbies guy of the year in 2012, for real.

Like when I was still living at UMBC, maybe 2010? Anyway, go find that, chubbies. Expose me. They actually don't. It's going to really depress me how I weighed 100 pounds less than I do now, and was still considered fat. That's neither here nor there, folks.

The point is, go get some chubbies. Whether you're getting dressed for your work day, a workout, or a weekend getaway, there's a Chubbies for that. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our viewers 20% off your order with our code STAVVY, S-T-A-V-V-Y at chubbiesshorts.com. That's code STAVVY, STAVVY at chubbiesshorts.com. Support our show and tell them we sent you you be your own Cinderella story with Chubbies

Well, I think it's time we fucking give knowledge to people guys. I mean, you know, I forgot the call There's call ins. Oh, right, you know, we have to give advice. We're never going into a read We're three of the smartest men of all time. No, no, we will do something similar to a read soon But I'll just play us a little call and then let's see what we got here men of all time no no we will do something similar to a read soon but I'll just play us a little call and then let's see what we got here Adam is much smarter now me yeah dude you've been training to be a fucking interviewer so yes you know incredible skills play us play us some fun play us some calls here big LD this is RD Big fan of the podcast.

I got divorced about ten years back and really screwed me up. I haven't really been in the dating game until just the last year or so. I take the time to work on myself and what not. But I discovered that I am basically a virgin again. And I am a one one pump Trump has a couple hookups. And it's been really fucking embarrassing. Just as soon as that my dick gets pussy. It's like it's done. So I try to get the girl, you know know right, but it's like causing me some performance anxiety now and I've had a couple of Chances to get laid and like, you know, I'm just so nervous about it that shit doesn't work he's a good guy wonder if you any input on kind of how to get over this and

You know what what next steps to take? And what next steps to take? Either pussy first. Appreciate the advice. Love the podcast. Absolutely. Either pussy first, easy, done, next. No, that's not just that. Either pussy to completion, then it doesn't matter

if you bust too quick, she's already comped. Well, this is a shame that this isn't a read. He's a good guy. Do we have any different ads coming up? Well, just in case, let's, you know. Are there any questions about like what color Yeti thermos should I get? There might be, who knows what else?

The answer is king crab orange That sounds cool. So that's my advice Maybe see if you can find any king crab get a nice thermos get your mind off how quick you bust Either put it for a while is true Adam for sure but also like this is one of the most classic dick pill solutions I've ever heard my dick pills you still cut It doesn't keep you longer. But you bust- you get the first one out, you can go again. Porn style.

Porn style, absolutely. Where you can put your fingers in your ass. That was just the first thing I heard. In your own ass? And then put them in your nose so you just- she smells like shit and she's just disgusted by this woman. Poor guy. And then you can't come.

Well, but he's busting fast or not getting hard. That's a tough combo because you don't want to smell like shit and your dick is soft. It's pretty cool if you can bust soft. That is cool. And I have busted like so close to like 15, 15 percent. If I saw a man standing there and he busted soft I'd feel like I was at like a Tool concert. Yeah. You know what I mean? That would be like the visuals. You'd feel like I was at like a tool concert. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that would be awesome. Yeah, you see it changing his face. Yeah, just Michelangelo's fucking Man, and he's just a geek But then it turns into like an alien

The jizz kind of become silver. I know the pieces fit. Brr-rung-dung, brr-rung-dung-dung. And I turn up and Louis is to the right of me. Yeah, he's crying. That's fucking smart. He's moved to tears. And how beautiful the symbolism is. I can't wait to share this with James.

Maybe James. James will like this. But seriously, if the girl's already busted from you eating her pussy, maybe it'll relax you a bit because you feel like you made her cum. For sure. Try that out. Definitely yes, but you are the guy dick pills are made for, except for really old guys. You're fresh off a divorce. We've been taking them since we're 21 years old, dude.

On and off. I'm not 21. I was taking them every day for 16 No, they're good for that really they lower your blood pressure. Yeah, the seales ones do yeah You take this like take a half of one of those is it blue to your with or do you know? Who are we with right Reese most recently? I think blue chew might be most recently Work we're you know We the product they got mad at us because I said that the Hamas guys were using it on They're like blue chew once you to pull it out and's like, they have been advertising with us for eight years. I have a great relationship.

And they were like, well, let's talk to the, they wanted us to talk to someone that was like the ad buyer. He's like, I want to talk to the company. We talked to their head of like a promotion or something. And they were like, yeah, man, like, you can't say that Hamas took it before they threw Mario Kartz into the music festival. He's like, you guys have been great partners, but you can't say that Hamas took it before they flew Mario Kart into the music festival. He's like, you guys have been great partners, but you can't-

Yes, I can, and I did. Nick was like so fired up, and then- They're like, you can't say that. I can say that, I did say that, and it's probably what happened. Now, where is my $200? I would like my $200. The amount of times we should have crossed the line of the amount of times. I know it is funny. I mean the funniest one of all time was Thursday Boots.

Thursday Boots is the Holocaust. What was it? No, it was like a kid getting **** or something. Their office is right across the street from the studio. Oh, they're huge. So I walked past the sign and I was like, you know,'t go up there say hi for old time remember remember that we got dropped So yeah, get your dick hard with pills You're doing good the fact that you got women to want to fuck you is good And yeah, you're just starting over brother

I remember this phase of my life when you're in your 20s and you're getting pussy for the first time you're just redoing it Take some cock pills use promo code Stavi on whatever you end up buying worry about more important things Elon Musk is destroying. Yeah, that's right Stop talking about yourself sir who gives a fuck about pussy right now Yeah, some a bunch of 19 year old Indians are turning the post office into an anime Now fucking chicks with fat tits just like Bulma are gonna fucking send you mail in little caps a little Dragon Ball Z capsules Which actually sounds pretty cool. Also, can we like the fucking bulls? I'm gonna be so pissed if all of this stuff ends up being good

But if it does it won't be but yes I'm gonna be mad Ylan is such a fucking gay loser also like girls should think the lying about Playing video games that is he live a dude. He said he's the best Diablo player in the world I would you aspire to and then he was on he was on like stream and everyone's like this guy sucks at this game Yeah, and he just hired he said he was Like I've been replaying Metroid Prime, and I'm like I miss I could have killed myself Years ago yeah, and I'm like this is so humiliating and I'm like I gotta get a hundred percent yeah Gotta get all the missile. It's a 22 year old video game. I got it. There's no way

I'm not do you see do you get when you 100% do you see her in a bikini? No, isn't there a part where you can see her in a bikini? At the end of Super Metroid Not Metroid Prime. I would love to fuck Samus if she was a real person. Yeah, really honestly any woman. Yeah any woman Any woman if she was real? Well, Samus is like, you know. Samus, Lisa Simpson She's supposed to be a little kid. This squirrel from Spongebob sandy maybe yeah, I would love yeah Squirrel size just nothing now. I know is in the

Feel You're killing me oh can I go next yeah? Could you know that all of them. Right. You know, they're all this big. Oh that's true, that's true. Yeah, Patrick should go first. And then you just clean your leg up with SpongeBob.

Hey! He's like, yeah yeah. Get your gist away from me. You fucked my friends to death. And you're using me as a comrade. I'm sorry, I'm sorry Spongeongebob. I just really like cartoons I'm 40 years old, and I just really like cartoons. I don't know what to tell you spongebob Try this uh-huh all right. Yeah, good luck buddy rd. Also. Just tell the girl. She's so sexy

You know whatever you're fine, bro. Your pussy's so perfect I busted it fast. Yeah, exactly. That's cause you're so... Hey Elvis. Yeah, I love it. It's on... Just Google can't learn. It's on... The Google Translate can't hear it.

Either with the names, yeah. Okay. Next question here, Elvis. Uh oh. Oh shit, what's going on? Is it a cancer? Yeah, it's a cancer. Oh fuck, dude. Shit.

Shit, guys. It's time for the mother something crazy is happening. Oh my god Time to keep it motherfucking twisted with the twisted ass motherfucking ass question of the week Play the play the thing and get get our friend an ice cold twisted tea, which by the way is brewed with real ice tea. I don't know if you guys know that. And it's the perfect drink on a game day or just enjoying yourself. How does it work? Does the tea itself ferment or do you just make tea? Play the call, you fucking prick. We can read it. I'll do it.

No, no, no. It's over yet. Hey Starvey, hey Aldis oldest! Here's Phil, the podcast! How does what work? Hold on. How does what work? How do you... Like, does the tea ferment? Or do they add alcohol? What is your brain? What do you mean? I'm asking a question. You're asking about the fermentation of a twisted tea?

They just said it's made with real tea, so I'm asking. It's brewed with real ice, ice cold, ice tea. This is why sponsors drop off all the time, Adam, because I'm feigning interest in their process that they brought up And very fakily by the way to help the read See Nick we don't have to worry about all that science mumbo-jumbo All we have to know is this delicious and that we have a twisted ass motherfucking question of the week Oh, let's see what we real. Holy fuck that was twisted

Forever we'll just maybe start it over whatever Adam said it doesn't really matter go ahead Exactly just keep editing over Adam and let's play the twisted ass motherf-ass question of the week. Hey, Bobby, hey, Elvis, huge fan of your podcast. You can't be showing other, uh, you'll get it back. So here's my question. A few months ago I moved to New City. Who is this, your boyfriend? And the same day I moved into this apartment, there's a really hot woman moved in. Hey, Bobby, hey, Elvis, huge fan of your podcast.

So here's my question. Okay. A few months ago I moved to New City, and the same day I moved into the apartment There's a really hot woman moved in literally right in front of me Initially I told myself I would just ignore her because I think it's kind of complicated things today here James Comey, yes Fucking like oh, I'm doing the principal. No, you're a coward

And that's what makes cowards dangerous is I fucking 99% of the time they do the right thing because they're too much of a pussy Right, right. Yeah, and then let's see how quick Let's see if this guy keeps it twisted or if he stays a coward Same person in your building. Nevertheless, somebody like live directly in front of you Probably you know safe time we've been talking the elevator We actually have a lot in common And like I would be out shooting my shot if not for her being my neighbor talking Like yeah, like all of your new fans now are just the guy from that movie that wanted which which they can change

His mother's character in the beginning of the movie when he's getting like bullied by very much like yeah like 90s office worker Yeah, hey, let's see what he's got guy from office base Before the hipness before the hip no yeah, yeah, yeah and dude this show is hypnosis it's making them cool that's the whole have you ever done that I've never done hypnosis because they do it for like eating and stuff that'd be sick actually dude if someone could hypnotize what if it backfired I eat more yeah you just like you take over a Cinnabon with a gun I'm in a fugue state I'm like give me

pastries! Let's finish this guy's call, we can talk about that fanciful scenario later. Neighbor. What did he just say? I'm pretty sure she likes me too. Go back a little bit, I want to hear this pathetic loser. Because of being my neighbor. Oh, neighbor.

I'm pretty sure she likes me too, just because the way she interacts with me, she's excited to see me, she's excited to see me, she asked for my number, and she even asked, one time my sister came to visit and she was asking me who this woman was. She was jealous, she wanted that prick. And so I'm like, okay, I think she likes me too. The problem is I still have like six months on this lease,

and I think it's a really bad idea They're like shit where you eat. Come on. Don't don't God bless Albania now we know why this guy's a loser. Hold on. You guys are right. This guy's a loser He said God bless Albania why don't do a lip Lippa is from the yeah, but everybody's got you know one hot-ass woman in their country Oh the gal Gadot of Hitler at his biscuit guy This guy is a loser and I hate him She asked for your number just have sex gotta keep it twisted man, right? That's an important thing to do

Keep it twisted man, right? That's an important thing to do. Just keep it twisted. Keep it twisted and fuck this lady. She's not way too angry? What? These quests, because it seems like all of them are like, Yeah, I wanna get pussy but I don't really. Yeah, I mean, this guy in particular, it's like, Who are you kidding, bro?

You're, what, oh, your sacred apartment? This woman's hot as shit, she's made enough small talk with you. That's tough, he only has six months left on this lease. That's the other thing, six months. How bad could it go in six months? What does that mean, you fucking idiot? Yeah, just get pissed, keep it twisted and fuck this lady.

Just keep it twisted. I mean, you're really not keeping it twisted. You're betraying the ideals of a twisted tea drinker. Twisted tea is about keeping it twisted, having a good time. Yeah, you got six months on the lease. Whatever, man go have sex with this lady don't be a coward so she showed me her pussy and I'm not sure

yeah one way or another open like this like with her two fingers but I don't know what that means cuz my sister she saw my sister one time what are you talking about you fucking idiot well he was saying that the sister she was at he's he's insinuating that the girl is jealous or This guy could be the woman was literally it could be the Joker one like he could be just fantasy He could be fat and yeah, he's very and if you are the Joker don't keep it twisted. Don't kidnap this woman Don't show up in her apartment. It guy depends on which Joker you know if it if it's a Jack Nicholson joker, I'd say go for it. But he's not charming enough to be the Jack Nicholson joker.

You don't know that. This guy? He could look like him. Maybe that's it. Maybe she's like, oh my god, is that Jack Nicholson? No, this guy's definitely fucking Joaquin joker. Not even close. Because he's not even cool enough to be the weird... Heath Ledger.

No, Heath Ledger's the man, but who's the other one? Jared Leto. He's not even like sexy enough to be the weird He's ledger. No he's ledger the man, but the was the other 30 sec Jared Leto He's not even like sexy enough to be the weird Jared Leto 30 seconds to bust 30 seconds to bust Yeah, you know what he could do get her evicted Yeah, so you got a couple options pal. And look, whatever you do, take this gal out front. Call 911 on her. No, don't. Take her out for a nice refreshing twisted tea. Brewed with real iced tea.

Leave her gas on. Don't do that. Actually leave a 12'er with a big old suitcase that's twisted outside of her apartment and write a little note on the top that says, Keep it twisted Don't do that. That doesn't really follow the ideals of the twisted Twist that up like my dick in your ass and it's twisted still twisted Dick in your ass and it's twisted still twisted keep it

Just just get her how about this just share a nice twist it to you with her and fuck her that's twisted enough I'll start fucking guys I don't know why that would work on her, but yeah, you can try it. It's your last chance Nick says leave a note. I say call the police say she's gonna keep it twist. Don't do that either Chera twisted Making notes of what to bleep out now. I say get a nice ice cold twist with her her don't forget keep it twisted Yeah, yeah damn son, what did you find this fake? Yeah, I just rewatched that movie so funny Yeah, oh my god, so classic

Irish soul singer. Yeah All right, so we helped that guy he was kind a coward. That wasn't that good of a twisted question. I hate him. You kind of fucked up there, but what else we got, man? Bobby Eldis guest. Bobby Eldis guest. First time, long time, you know, the drill. I'm gonna get right to it. Thank you. I have a similar question to one that was asked on the similar episode Okay, it was about the guy. He was the Greek guy. He owned his family business or managed his family business

He wanted to know how to fuck his employees and go to customers Remember that guy I'm not Pause this on that episode sagalow was insisting. It's not wrong to fuck your employees He was like well This isn't the entertainment industry. What's the point of being also? It is the entertainment industry No, he meant like he meant like if you own a diner you should be able to fuck Sackalow has employed thousands of people Call the Brandon Brandon

You said Brandon you did not definitely said no I didn't say that it's tape. It's recorded so we'll know Brandon It's tape it's recorded so we'll know but go ahead Elvis let's finish this guy's how do you fuck your That's what they're doing. I know fucking employees would be messy. I don't even have okay But I do want advice on the other half I Will the context I'm 26 years old. I just got out of a two-year relationship I manage a lodge in the national park pretty big national park that is frequently by hundreds of thousands of people each year. Our high season is coming up and I'm just looking, how do I clean up on these women that come through here?

Yeah, I think a doge is a good idea. We don't need national parks anymore. This guy shouldn't be paid by the fucking Department of the Interior, I don't think. Yeah. Stop, you are a philosopher king. Yeah. These people want your permission. That's, yeah, that's what I'm here for, man.

That's so cool. Yeah, dude. You fucking, the interview, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and now I do philosophy. We split off into our true passions. I, um, I made him kiss me. I sexually assaulted Neil deGrasse Tyson. Ah, how does he like, a little a little bit taste of his own medicine? Yeah, after what he did, he really is like a giant. After it ended, he was like trying to do wrestling moves on me.

He like picked me up. I'm like, the fuck are you doing? That's all. It's so funny because he's another guy that'll come up on like YouTube shorts and half of the time he's being Anthony Kumi is edited out of it He was like a mainstay on the really show Yeah on the first year the Kumi like hadn't written like it was weird cuz it was his Everyone knew what Kumi was about like he got disgraced for even even on I mean his like that It maybe he was on but the very next guest would be that fucking like Irish guy that wrote That those books about oh, yeah, yeah, I cry. We'll get him again. No. No, there's another guy His name was like Collins. I don't know

That was his name Wearing a little newsy cap yeah Did you know that fucking ten white girls got beat up by blacks last year. Yeah, it's like no I didn't know that and it's like that's cuz you're not doing the research. Yeah, I just don't care. Yeah Yeah, but yeah, it was so funny cuz he was a huge Kumeya guy. Yeah, he would be on kumeya all the time. It's very fascinating Go ahead. Let's so this guy's trying to fuck people go ahead. Let's finish this call. I Just got out of that long-term relationship like I said my second one that I've had first one with a five-year

one haven't been single that long I had years in college where I cleaned up pretty good but yeah I'm looking on advice how to clean up with these women around here we have a bar that's attached to our lodge I've bought it for four nights a week oh he's a bartender. We are so remote. We're an hour away. Let's not get in. That's not better.

If they called the police. Not much to do. Not much. This guy might be Jack Carlson. That's true. I think I'm one of the Marks. That's true. You might be all on that.

Thanks for the advice. Here's my penis. This is a creepy question. Yeah, dude. I mean, like, how do I make the women? We're so remote as a detail is crazy It's like it's always sunny the implication. Yeah, so remote. How do I get him a couple drinks get him back to my room? We're so remote women really like you should cover yourself in honey and go outside the lot

Go out into the woods and wait for the women To come yeah, I actually read an article that horny women love when a guy's covered in honey Look bro If something happens and a woman takes the initiative, but this is still weird and wrong to be like Yeah, like you don't want you to try and fuck the customers at this remote lodge Yeah, like you can they don't want you to try and fuck the customers at this remote lodge If you're if you're fucking bartending you hit it off with somebody that's that's like, you know fucking camping or whatever the fuck and they want to and they

Kind of make it clear. They want to fuck you you have to completely take somebody else's lead You don't want you know, yeah, you don't want somebody, you know tweeting at the 19 year olds that Elon has to be like this guy tried to actually if you said this guy tried to fuck me They might give you a raise yeah But you're down yellow We can make so much way if we chop down this forest and sell the wood This is another government inefficiency But yeah, you don't want you don't want to get fired for trying to fuck everyone who comes through your weird little lodge, bro

Just you took it's your fault. You took a job in a remote place You can't be trying to fuck the women that just want to see nature But you might I mean, I don't know some of these girls might be on vacation they might want to fuck Yeah, I guess it does seem like the women that would go there on their own would be those like weird smelly like home birth Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah If you catch him before they they're in home birth when they're like young yeah, they're on their way to becoming those women It's very long breasts. Yeah Yeah, not fat, but have fat they call their pussy'sussies their yoni. Very vascular forearms.

They're kind of naughty women. Strong joints. Yeah, you might be able to fuck some of them, but you can't... How do you make this your go-to? You can't. You just have to put the vibe out. You can't be weird and creepy. Because the second they sense, like, oh, this guy got this job,

to try and fuck us in this remote corner of fucking Idaho or wherever the fuck But stop don't forget. He had years in college where he cleaned up Yeah, that's a great piece of evidence And if you want to get pussy you shouldn't be the bartender at a remote cabin Like if you want to get pussy go to a major city be the bartender there You know what I mean? Yeah, take their time there to like take a taxidermy course and come back to Brooklyn with those skills right yeah, then you can clean up Clean financially right you know make them little what raccoon pelts. Yes

So far the first guy is a great guy and these last two I hate okay next eldest There's not much that one was there wasn't much there, but don't, yeah, don't be a creep at the bar. Although, if you work at a cool national park, then we're gonna be around, although it's April. We probably missed him. I'm trying to go hiking on this tour. Hey, Thav, hey, Eldis, big fan of the pod, I'm on the Patreon. Thank you, brother. Let me stand up for years. Yada, yada yada yada. Hello esteemed guests all that stuff. Mm-hmm

I'm gonna try to get to the point as you like to keep it. Um, I am an aspiring creative My whole life I've really been into Performing or G shit all that stuff. I just kind of always had an inkling to do that All that stuff. I just kind of always had an inkling to do that. I'm now 25 years old. I think, you know, I'm holding down a decent job. I've got a good place with a couple of friends. I'm in a relationship, all that stuff. But yet, for some reason, I'm still depressed as shit. And I can't get any of my personal projects done.

I had to deal with, like, some really bad grief early on in life. Was born with a myriad of mental health issues. None of us know what that's like. An upward battle, but I guess I was just wondering if you had any advice for when you're just kind of a fat, depressed, unmotivated piece of shit. Like I just I have so many ideas like projects that I want to work on. With everything else that's going on in life, it's hard to find the the gumption and the time

and the energy to do that while also maintaining like you know an adult life. Well. There's your problem Had any advice for me Appreciate you love you all that stuff. Bye. Bye Yeah, I mean You could start a podcast that actually becomes successful by accident. Yeah, you could be That works for fucking all of us. Um... I mean...

At the end of the day, dude, I hate to give you some tough love here. Yeah, you just gotta do well. You have to pick one thing and do it. Just fucking do the thing. Ideas mean nothing. And also you're never gonna be happy. Everyone has fucking ideas. Yeah, you're probably not gonna be as happy as you wanna be,

but you will be happier if you're working on something and you have to do something that the flow of the work Makes you fulfilled even if it never works out right like when I was you know Whatever before I moved in New York, and I was just doing open mics I just loved the process of working out a new bit of like fucking doing it It's like even if I had come and when I moved in New York I was like even if I fucking flame out I'll always do stand-up because I like doing it like it does something for me, right?

You got to find something like that and not think about making it just think of like in term not think about being successful You just have to work on something. Yeah, that's really all there is to it It don't expect it to make you happy. Just expect to keep working. Yeah, and in many ways you have I mean you have, if you have an adult life where you have, you know, some friends a girlfriend, like I don't fucking have, you know I don't have a fulfilling home life.

Or you could get a job at Yosemite. You could become a bartender at Yosemite. You could be like, do you want to get out? Because there's a way out. There's a guy there, I think you might be a lot happier if you Yeah, and I hear there's a bartender Yosemite that called you a pretty big fucking loser We don't even know that it's Yosemite. He's just like he got his guy does listen to you and he kills just trying bartender like hey Ian I

Got tickets at Yosemite. I heard there's a lot of gay guys that are attracted to bartenders. So I got you a shirt that says, I'm the bartender. Yosemite. And the ticket is, you leave today and you come back. Well, there's no return ticket. Yeah. We're shooting a prank show. Oh, I've hidden cameras rigged up everywhere. Yeah, it has to be the bartender

Kill Killian You'll feel a lot better you might man Yeah, dude, who gives a fuck just you gotta start fucking and also the age you're at that's adorable Yeah, a lot of guys don't even figure out that they want to be a talk show host until they're 42 years Yeah, a lot of people like don't try for the first time in their life until they're 35 years old Well that I started trying at 35 not really Not really yeah, 37 no no no no Starts right at 36 Yeah, so you have eight to be safe. I'm not 38 call actually is this out in April? Yeah, I'm 38

Yeah, dude, honestly it sucks to hear but you just have to do stuff Yeah, just do like and you're gonna be bad at it at first, but it doesn't matter. Just keep making things We've all been depressed. I have definitely been an am fat Nick was fat Adam never was fat I've had issues with bulimia He can't stop ganging and throwing up on the car That's not believe crap. Yes a shallow throat. Yeah, he's never held down Never held down Okay, so we all have problems really persevered

but yeah, everyone at the end of the day dude, there's so many people who are depressed and Think of themselves as creatives. You're not until you do something. We hate to give you the tough love, but that is just fucking true. You just gotta do stuff. Well, also, being something doesn't add anything to your life. Right. It's like doing it. A lot of people don't realize,

I mean, they don't make the distinction of doing and being in their life. Right, right, right, right, right. So they're like, oh, I wanna be a writer. It's like, well, you have a fucking laptop. Yeah, just do it, exactly. Yeah, don't be attracted to be a writer. It's like, well, you have a fucking laptop. Yeah, just do it. Exactly. Yeah. Don't be attracted to it because of whatever you have imagined

is the prestige of being considered something. Just do the fucking thing. Pick one project, start working, brother, and that will be your salvation. But also, you still might be depressed. Be ready for that. And it's not going to make you happy. What it's going to do is you're gonna just get better

at something. But it would, I mean, it does help a little bit. It helps to be occupied. But it also helps to. And driven. I think it helps to see yourself make progress in something too. Correct. You know what I mean? All right, what else we got?

Little Elders with the little ass nuts. Hi folks, I would do the whole intro, but. A girl. I was gonna make this part. Well, we was gonna make this short and now I'm not making it short. Anyways, love you guys so much. So my question is so recently back on the dating scene enjoying myself. It's been great like I've been meeting a lot of great guys having a lot of fun. This is a cool chick. It's kind of a sensitive question I guess guess I don't really know how to phrase this so obviously we kind of know about the concept of like Gunners and guys

Shut up. No not arsenal guys beating a dick good. I wasn't guys. I just Different from edging no just guys you beat off all the time. Okay, but it's like beating off obsessively or something Yeah, it's not edging. I thought it was no no gooners aren't edging. They're busting all right, but they're just beating It's like guys who just like are addicted to pornography. Okay, so many more young bros are yeah gay pornography It has case gay pornography guys. Yeah, you wish get pornography in a case gay pornography guys yeah you wish get You basically I don't watch porn any you in the guy. Yeah, you don't know doesn't work. It's too contrived You're like why is there a woman in this this is so unrealistic

This is contrived where the guys be a man throwing up after half of a McDonald's hash brown. It doesn't have enough uh... Why aren't they crying after they bust? No there's not enough maize on the stand. Why aren't they crying and calling their fiance and asking them how their day's going after they bust? Everyone's mad at me because I said, Why don't you just get hard when you say that? I said, Patrick Mahoma.

Which is pretty funny by the way. Which is hilarious. Which is funny! By the way, I'm so funny. Don't use this to come on. This is so us. This is so us. This is so us.

This is so us. This is so us. That was not a brag. And then also I'm going to keep saying this is so us. This is so us. I've been trying to work and date it. And then at one point I'm going to say that's so Samantha. That's so Samantha.

I've been doing my... That's so you. Alright, so gooners. She's talking about straight goon. All right. So, gooners. Okay. She's talking about straight gooners, not Adam-style gooners. And let's go ahead, Eldis. Like, gooners and guys that just spend way too much time on porn have been consuming too much porn. And the issue is kind of revolting from that.

Like, maybe, I think somebody called it death grip syndrome. Like, guys are just beating their shit way too hard and they can't actually fuck so then Like a fair amount of guys that literally just like I'm not complaining but like Focus on going down on me like all of these things like everything is focused on me, which is fantastic but then either Don't ask to be reciprocate

like they don't like I'll say like I'll go down to me like no problem they have like I'm into it and like oh no don't worry about it or like they can't finish or they can't really hard like never really have an issue with this like previously but in the last like call it a couple months I literally just like not it hasn't been like repeat offenders like I just like I keep just like not it hasn't been like repeat offenders Like I just like I keep seeing it not that I'm like sleeping with that many different guys pause this so that I can't imagine Eating pussy and not I mean like sure every once in a while you just eat pussy and then like whatever it's like Oh, I gotta go to work

I can't get my dicks but like someone asking to suck your dick and you don't even let her do it for a little bit Even if you're not gonna bust sounds like a great guy Can't get my dicks but like someone asking to suck your dick and you don't even let her do it for a little bit Even if you're not gonna bust sounds like a great guy That one wasn't that you that was at the thought of not asking you get your dick sucked Yeah, this is great. Especially when you got a girl chomping at the bit to slurp you up Well, hopefully she's not chomping at the bit. I don't think well On everyone's bed don't go what was that was that what's that little black ball for Mario Beetlejuice It's called Beetlejuice. Yeah interesting. You said little black ball from Mario? Beetlejuice. It's called Beetlejuice? Yeah. Interesting.

You said little black. Oh, no, I meant the little black ball from Mario that chomps. Oh, it's like chompomp, right? Yeah, no, machomp is a monkey. No, it's chompomp. Chainchomp. Yeah, don't go chainchomp on the prick, but I don't think she is. I think she wants to slob on it.

Finish up, Eldis. I'm not going to sleep with that many guys, but you know what I mean. It's okay if you are. So that is just kind of like, do I do anything? Do I need to be changing myself? I don't think so, but I was stomping this guy and I thought we were having a great time and he just kind of stops kind of stops and like hey you mind if I just put on porn to finish what I was like, I mean, I'm not missing no, but like Fucking a 25 year old like like what what what is

My name is Nero. Did I just stop fucking around? I don't know. Anyways, this is Vicky Long. Love you so much. Bye! This is weird because it's like, this is obviously not anything you can control. There's no advice for this lady. Yeah, it's not get better at fucking. It sounds like a society problem, so unfortunately, and I would really never suggest this to anybody, but it sounds like you need to move to India. Yeah, might be a good to India I'm sorry that's over correcting me I think we're going a little too far I think you might have to

move to India and start fucking Indian guys because they will do they will just I mean it's gonna be ten on one as soon as you're coming off the Pussy and again, it's just oh true. Yeah. Oh, how about this? If you're worried about your pussy too much an older Italian guy a guy who thinks he's in the mafia Yeah, it's gated pussy. Yeah, you know or black guys I feel like we had to work so hard to find titties when we were like 13 Yeah, this is bad. This is a you time. They want this is a dark omen for men of this generation I'm sad about the kids guys if you're listening don't put on porn when you fuck a girl figure out even if listen fellas It's their fault even if you got on who frame Roger rabbit

Dude, I would but as soon as Jessica rabbit comes on the screen I'm like, I've done that I put on Toy Story 3 one time fucking Is that the one where they're almost dead with it? Yeah No, I didn't I actually just stopped and I was like I'm gonna watch Toy Story 3 Downloaded at the time so it was in Russian and mirrored. Oh interesting. Yeah, so you had to read the subtitles backwards Yeah, yeah, but that's good. Yeah, I just sat there. You're training your brain for what's important. Yes went your dicks out pussy No, I was hard

But you wouldn't let her touch it. Yeah What's gonna happen the buzz What's gonna happen to buzz? Yeah, I mean look. I feel bad for this guy. This is a tough one. This also, selfishly I'm like nice. The generation after me is like they might have disqualified themselves from fucking. You know what I mean? It's like you do, you just need to, you gotta be around non-goongooners I don't know how you find that I don't know what's characteristic of a gooner I feel like everyone is jacking off too much. Yeah, it's just

That sounds like when we were 16 or like 15, right? Yeah, like imagine what we would do if we had access to this amount of pornography When we were like younger, it would be bad. Probably fucks your brain So yeah, I don't know. I mean try I I feel like I would usually say like meet people on the apps use the tools You have available, but in this case. It's like maybe the younger generation Just like really phone obsessed really like used to the gamify dating. It's yeah try to fuck people I know you're saying yeah, she should fuck like a 75 year old man Who doesn't know how to use the phone? I mean just just yeah, who's horny and should date a 75 year old man

You're homeless people Homeless men Yeah, but you know this is a good point of like go outside your normal Whatever's going on here your normal dating pool for whatever reason we're not sure yeah They're not busting the way they need to. Yeah, stop fucking people from Discord. Yes, exactly. That's what's going on. You need to go a little bit outside. At the end of the day though, it's not your issue.

Dating is annoying for a number of reasons. It's usually not, guys won't let me suck their dicks and they have to beat off to porn while we fuck annoying. It's usually like, oh that was a waste of time. You do have to wade through a lot of people to connect to so you just gotta... And then if you catch, here's the thing, if you catch some gooner energy here maybe just be like, alright, try to figure out a way to filter this out before you fuck these people probably because they're not what you want, right? You have to figure out a way to filter this out before you fuck these people probably because they're not what you want Right you have to figure out like you know what you know culturally the guy wearing an Apple vision Pro

And he's you can see the pornography As he's talking to you at Starbucks yeah through the lens maybe avoid that guy But man what uh what an interesting conundrum for our gal to be in. It's not your fault, don't feel bad about yourself. I like these, these are fun. She seems like a nice girl. She seems nice, she's trying to suck dick and society won't let her. This is Trump's America, dude.

You got something, what do you think, something nice to go out on here, Eldiz? Sure, we can go to kind of a response to a call from a recent Kush Bros. Okay. What was the call? It was about, uh, do guys like getting their nipples placed in. Okay, got it. Stav does. What do you mean, I do? You do.

What are you talking about? Stav also believes in, uh, titty-fucking as a real thing. Yeah, you know what? That's another annoying thing. You should be able in tiddy-fucking as a real thing. You know what? That's another annoying thing. You should be able to tiddy-fuck. It's not, it's a fake thing though. It's not fake, it's cool.

If you like tits, it's nice to have tits around your dick. Yeah, but what does it do for the girl? Oh, it's a take turn situation. Sov, we've been through this a thousand times. This is because at the time you were dating a woman with smaller titsits than Nick and you were trying to fucking pretend you were an Owler tits than me Yeah at the time Yeah, I have and so you were being a pig

I remember when I started dating my current girlfriend you picked me up in the car. I was like stop I feel like I'm 13 again. Yeah, I followed back in love with yeah And that disgusted me because you're just a guy with no fucking more nobody Whatever the wind blows you pretend is no nobody wants to hear about good things happening to you Yeah, I have cancer. Oh, so you're pretending to like tits on some level. I think on some level you like If you told me you had cancer, I would say, yeah, it's probably one of the good types. Yeah, you probably have skin cancer.

You'll be out of it. You'll be like, you have like, go to a dermatologist's office. You're there for 45 minutes. That happened. You remember that happened? It was like a whole week and a half. He was belly aching about how he had skin cancer. Oh my god.

How many times have you had health panics? It literally fell off. How many times have you had health panics? This has all been real. Oh my god. Mine have all been real. I will say this, I will say this. I've never had skin cancer fall off.

It was like a dried booger on his hand. That he had not, he just wouldn't even wipe it off. I wouldn't even try. Can you imagine having a sore and you don't even try scratching it? I went for a hand booger to the doctor. Well you also were doing your own dental work. That was wild. I was doing my own dental work.

Remember, you were fucking getting those scrapers or whatever? I still use those. The kinds I use in the dental hydrant? That's fucked up, dude. I will say this. The hooks. Yeah. Using the hooks on yourself is nuts.

Well, I'll be, look, full disclosure, I'm an older man now, I don't mind admitting when I was wrong, did not work. I suffer from periodontal disease and I have to get a $400 teeth cleaning every three months. Anyway, let's take Lewis has a two of like multiple medical things where like, you know, I talk about it and then Lewis reaches out to me. He's like, yeah, dude,

I had that too. I'm like, God damn it. Because they're just bad hygiene. You have skank mouth. Yeah, literally. He's like, he he's like I'll be doing like coconut Holy coconut holy and xylitol gum and stuff both have gum disease and then we both have like eyelid problems Oh, wow, cuz we'll like fucking like yeah, like you know Sticking my fingers in my eye after my asshole Fuck dude, not me. I've got beautiful health. Let's see what this fucking let's see what this question about nipples is Hey, Savi, Eldy and esteemed guest or guest. Thank you. I'm calling in response to Call from the lesbian on the Kush Brothers episode with Pat Berger and JP McDade

On the Kush Brothers episode with Pat Berger and JP McDade February 6th, I think it was recorded So maybe we'll get this one in June April actually Our friend was asking about if men like Mike their nipples played with and all four of you fine gentlemen Responded to the negative and I I am one of the few I was's something that I've known about myself since I was a teenager. I don't know exactly where it comes from. I like a light touch or a lick. Sometimes you get a little pressure and a pinch but not too hard.

You know who this guy reminds me of? Can you look up the scene from Mars Attacks where they're doing the press conference? Oh yeah. And one of the reporters asks if the aliens have two sexes good morning it's nice to see you all again i just have a few minutes for questions a great movie Martians have to well can we watch that

Mars attacks yeah we don't have time I have to go to yeah let's finish up with his nipples and then we're done net comeback will do a more This guy's got numbers in here. He's got percentages. Let's see what he's got. And a pinch but not too hard. You know, not the beady-assum stuff. It is disgusting hearing him talk about this. The only way that I've been able to describe it to other people, and obviously I have no actual insight into this, is like I have two clits on my chest.

Two clits? It really feels that good. It's something I don't necessarily need to come, but 75, 80% of the time I probably have my nipples played with while I'm getting off. So I don't do it on my own. It's only something I do with partners. Why did you pick this question?

People really tell you anything. There are some of us out here. I don't know better out to JP McDade. 80% of the time, this guy is disgusting. Alright man, congrats. You like your titties played with a little bit. Cool. Just a little insight to an opposing view. Sure. Yeah, yeah. You're always keeping the... This is a forum for discourse. I really hope this guy made the same exact phone call to Washington Journal. Well, there you have it folks, you guys are not nipples guys are you?

Whatever a girl tells me. I don't even like having sex. Adams gay. Adams gay. You're the gay one. That'll do it folks, thanks to Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland. Watch the Adam Friedland show. Boys!

Come see us on tour. Nick, anything to plug here, my friend? No, the only thing I have on the calendar is I'll be opening for Shane, I guess. In the middle of the summer. Alright, look out for that. That'll be fucking fun. And yeah, thanks for listening. We'll talk to you next week. Bye bye. Watch the Adam Friedland show! And yeah, thanks for listening. We'll talk to you next week, bye bye. Watch that and feel so. And feel so. And feel so.

And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so.

And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so.

And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so. And feel so.

And feel so. And feel so.