Stavvy's World - #122 - Dan Soder

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

Dan Soder returns to the pod to order Greek food with Stav and discuss his Stacy Keibler, his other favorite WWE divas, Matthew McConaughey's adverts, an incredible sandwich he unwittingly got for the last time, the prevalence of gambling, and much more. Dan and Stav help callers including a guy whose closeted boyfriend refuses to come out to his parents, and a woman who found out her mother-in-law had a tryst with her dad many years ago. See Dan Soder live and follow him on social media: https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/ https://twitter.com/DanSoder https://www.facebook.com/dan.soder/ Booking.com wants to help make you a fan of any U.S. city with a chance to win $1,000 in Booking.com travel credit! Head to the Booking.com Instagram page (@booking.com) and check out their sweepstakes post for more details! No purchase necessary. Eligibility requirements: Open to U.S. residents 18 and older. Promotion period: From 3/26/25 - 4/13/25. All rules are available in the caption of the sweepstakes post. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Welcome everybody to Stavvy's World 904-800 staff. Colin will solve all your problems. Returning favorite, one of our kings of the inner circle, Dan Soder back on the couch. What's up, big brother? Good to be back in Queens. Thanks, man. Does it feel right? I love it. I miss it. Yeah.

I really do. I miss Queens, a good neighborhood. We're going to have to put in the BZ grill or halfway into this episode all this All right, so when we when we start the calls, we're gonna pause we're gonna we're gonna give you an order You're gonna fucking call it in. I don't even need to do that. I'll fire that fucking order off right now Platter yep Tzatziki, yeahiki check and a Canada dry ginger Extra pita there is let's fucking get into it. I would do the cheese filled sausages. What are those? Oh the Dementia, no, it's the beef. Thank you beef. Thank you. I might have to do you know what get a beef. Thank you, man

Get it all flip it. I'm gonna do a beefsteak platter. Respect. With extra tzatziki. I love that. I was a beefsteak guy for years. You're the one that put me on the beefsteak. I was the one that put you on the beefsteak. Going into that restaurant with you

and you speaking Greek to them, changed that restaurant for me. I was like, oh, this place fucking rules. I miss BZ Grill so much now that I don't live in Astoria. I know, it is tough. And that's the thing, I think when I leave, I will, because I've taken it for granted recently, where it's just like, you know what, I've had it, I did it.

When I first moved here, I had it like, I had it like once a week. Like it was fucked up how much I was eating. And I also, I do think unfortunately the quality has gone down a little over the years. You think so? Just a little bit. It's still great, but.

But man, it was. I think every, it feels like to say that, I feel like the quality of everything has dropped. Yeah, that's probably what it is. Like everything. Everything's more expensive. Everything. Harder to run a business.

Yeah, everything is just like, people are putting less into the product more into marketing Yeah, so everything's kind of like what this better a couple years ago. It feels that way and maybe who knows maybe that's Nostalgia the nostalgia for because there's there's honestly a time my life where busy girl was like the best part of my life Because like when I very first moved here, yeah yeah and I was crashing my friend who she lived across she lived like one block from BC that's incredible and it was like I the honeymoon period of New York was over yeah it was right when it ended and I was like oh this is gonna be really hard I had like I shortly thereafter would get bed bugs Like my life was just so bad and I was like my life's gonna suck dick and I had no money

But dude that lunch special a busy grill I would go there, you know, it's funny box Get me a you know fucking fries and a drink. Oh good stuff. That was halal guys for me 54th and sixth When I was living on my buddy's futon in Hoboken. Yeah, oh my God. And I was working at K-Rock and Dos Caminos, but also doing standup. I moved to Astoria, lived in a windowless room on an inflated mattress.

Yeah. And Saturday nights, I would work till two in the morning at K-Rock, and then I would go get that fucking I would get the chicken and rice With extra pita. Yeah, and a fucking 20 ounce of cold Sprite

And I would fuck that shit Yeah, I would say that the three places that hold my heart for food I would say that the three places that hold my heart for food are Halal guys Neptune Diner RIP RIP recently and BZ Grill. That place was, it sucked it by the end by the end it was legit bad but 10 years ago you know still 20 years ago 20 years ago Joe List and I used to go in there late night Monday blackout drunk. Yeah, and we would get chicken and rice soup I've got a lemon or soup Supa yeah, and then we get grilled cheese and wow talk about a little kid with the flu's order

That's like I'm staying home watching the prices, right? My mom brings me a tray of that you take school watching The Price is Right, my mom brings me a tray of that. Did you take school off today? That grilled cheese and chicken rice sweep. When they put the food down, they kiss your forehead. Yeah. And you have to say it like this, you have to go, thank you. You have to pretend you're a little sicker than you are when your mom comes in the room. Laughing with Joe, and then I go, oh, hold on, they're bringing our food.

Thanks. Thank you. on, they're bringing our food. Thanks, thank you. Yeah, they hated us. Yeah. Hated us. They were so loud and drunk. So loud, drunk, fucking running up a $9 tab. Yeah, they're like, great, this is fucking good. But it was Monday, what do you want?

You're not getting any business. Totally, clothes if you don't want to see. This is who you get at this hour And we're blackout on a Monday beautiful stuff man beautiful stuff I will say in general the diners in New York do disappoint me I think it's because it's everything is so expensive Yeah, that to just run a nice cheap diner is kind of impossible you You can't. So it's everyone tries to make it this like in no man's land where it's not shitty greasy spoon but they try and make

it sort of appear elevated but it's still cheap bullshit. Yes. You know it fucking sucks. What you want is you want them to shoot straight with you and be like yeah this is shitty eggs and shitty toast. That's right. But it's a little bit better than Waffle House and you go great. Yeah. I'll take it. And the ambiance is good. You right. But it's a little bit better than Waffle House and you go, great. Yeah. I'll take it. And the ambiance is good. You get the fucking, it's diner ambiance. I feel like diner ambiance, I feel like diners were here when I moved here in 07 and now

they're gone. Yeah. Now they're like holding on. A victim of inflation and everything going bad. Dude, the funniest one was this sandwich place on 23rd Avenue Andrew and Frank's I don't know if you ever ranks know it was fucking fun. I know Sal Chris and Charlie's they were down the street Yeah, and so it was like Bloods and Chris Never did Sal Chris and Tommy's I never did sandwich King sandwich King

Until Andrew and Frank's shut down, but I used to know you were forced. You're a refugee Seeking yeah, I was at the border. They have, like, I like that place, it's solid. I respect them because their thing is like, our sandwiches are fucking huge. Huge. They're like, they're solid. Yeah.

They're not like, we're not gonna make the best sandwiches. They're like, we're gonna make good sandwiches that are the biggest fucking sandwiches you've ever seen in your life. They go, we have a giant dick. We're not gonna fuck you up. We don't eat pussy. We don't eat pussy.

Yeah. You're just kidding. You can sit on it, get stretched out, or there's nothing else. We do not have anything else. Dude, they, Andrew and Franks, I went in when I did Edinburgh in 2019, where I did Fringe, I came back,

then I was like, got high, I was like, I'm gonna go to Andrew, I walked to Andrew and Franks, it was like a lovely, nah, they were open. Oh, okay, they were open. That's how you found out they shuttered. That would have been devastating. Yeah, that would have sucked.

It was almost worse though. Okay. Because they had a whole, like, what I love is, and if you live outside of New York, there's these places where you'll walk in, how you know it's a good sandwich is when there's like FDNY badges, or NYPD badges on the wall.

And like photocopied pictures of them with Robert De Niro. That? A picture of them in Scorsese? Yeah, but like low quality. And then you're gonna see about four or five pictures of 24 year old men that died in the towers. Like on the wall. Like there's four or five and you go fuck

I know what that's from. There's just like to Tommy you'll always be the best brother in the world. And you go I'm not gonna ask. That seems to be around 01. But Andrew and Frank's like the guy that operated it was awesome. It's very Queens. they had like Queens themed sandwiches The 718 did fucking rule. What do we get on the 718? It was a chicken cutlet with bacon provolone When the chicken cutlet sauce when the chicken cutlet is the base and then there's four more ingredients There's ham or there's bacon ham cheese

I might be doing a disjust if I'm speaking out of turn if I if I fuck up I apologize No, that's what he was making me a 718 love that and I was just you know It's that kind of area code where they talk to you about it. They go like yeah, you know I'm saying I don't know Daniel Jones is a bum Aaron Rodgers honestly fucking he does more ayahuasca. Maybe you'll be better Yeah, and then I'm like it's crazy man with like rent like, you know, I think rents going up everywhere. He goes. Oh, yeah a Landlord just raised our rent so we're shutting down and I was like, what's up? He's like making a sandwich

He goes yeah, we're closed. I was like, oh no like a couple months. He goes tomorrow He goes tomorrow Send it over man will post the last picture you ever got I'm gonna fuck So funny how fast I can recall the picture yeah It's like next to you it's like right next to you getting engaged is your last 718 don't worry about it's a 718 look I told look I deleted the phone the pictures of my exes I got rid all the nudes all the sex I'm keeping the 718 dude there you go oh that's a fucking beauty fucking beauty, dude. Yeah, that's nice. It's not the most beautiful picture of a sandwich,

but you get the idea. You couldn't close it if you want. No. The sides of the bread could not touch. They cannot touch. I love that. And you got the sweet onion kettle chips. Love that as a composition.

With the soda that I got, probably Canada Dry. Look at how wet that thing is that thing looks nice dude and I like that because it's big but it's also like within the grip of it because again some sandwiches are just too big Sometimes you have to cut slices of yeah, and that's the ones the slice one. You're like, what am I doing? What is this? What do you what are you making me do? I'm sending now. This is lasagna Yeah, now you've turned a sandwich into a casserole. Oh fuck, I gotta eat it with a fork and knife, like a fucking psycho. I wanna pick it up, I wanna be able to hold it,

but I expect it to be like a bouquet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'll go after it a little bit. Yeah, you're like, I'll go around it. I have a couple bites, strategic bites. But dude, it is. I like to eat it. And then I went to Sal and Chris's,

which, they're unbelievable. Their tuna is... Never been a tuna guy, though. Fuck, their tuna. the bomb the Italian right the bomb everything I mean it's literally you just empty a deli onto a slice of bread Jay put me on bread big Jay put me on sandwich King and what he does is he slices it into like pieces so you share it all that's great well that's what I mean we gotta do the extra work they've turned it into a party sub yeah it's like pieces so you share it all. That's what I'm saying. That's great. Well that's what I mean. But you gotta do the extra work. They've turned it into a party sub.

Yeah. It's like look, I'm a fat man, I get that, but it's like my complaint is the sandwich is too big. Yeah. And that's crazy, but you can get there. You're a size queen too. Yeah, you know, yeah. That's the thing, it's like I'm a size queen,

but it's like, what, this is crazy. This is insane. And they go, this is what, I'm sorry. Yeah. I was just born with it. They call my bluff. I'm not a size queen. I've been talking to big games. They go this is what I'm sorry. Yeah, they call my bluff Yeah, I'm not a size. I've been talking to big you are Big game with my wide pussy, and then I see that thing and I'm like this is too much. What is that? Milton Berle

You show enough to win yeah Say when they do the dick compare yes, they can't this like big as your dick. He's like just I always say when they do the dick comparing competitions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dick contest. They're like, how big is your dick? He's like, I'll just show enough to win. Yeah, yeah, I'll just pull out enough to win. That's an uncomfortable amount of penis, sir. Yeah, I think I do, I've gotten with age, I want quality over quantity in my sandwich. Oh, yeah.

Where it's like, I'd like it to be not even the full 12-inch roll, but that weird little in-between kind of 8-inch. Little 10-inch? Yeah, 8 or little in-between kind of 8-inch. Yeah, 8-10. 8-10, exactly. That's what Wawa does. They do a shorty roll. I like a shorty, sure.

So it's like just a little bit smaller. And I want the bread to be good. I want the like, and I want the ingredients. You don't realize how important- Now I'm thinking of favorite sandwiches of the past. Shout out to Pasta Mista in Canton. Is that right? They have, they had a cheesesteak and they're irregular cheesesteak

Unremarkable. Yeah, but they also make fresh baked focaccia bread round and you could there was A specialty sandwich they make focaccia, but I never got that sandwich But then I saw it there I was like, can I get the cheesesteak on focaccia and they're like, yeah sure Do you remember that era eldest? Yeah? Were you a part of it? I don't know if I ever got that specifically. That ruled our lives for many years. And the thing is, And it's where?

It's in Canton. Oh, I thought it was Ohio or the Hall of Famers. No, no, no, no, just the neighborhood in Baltimore. Apostamises is a chain, but I don't know if the other ones have the focaccia. And actually, I think they might've stopped the focaccia because I went back like, you know how everyone, you get a nostalgic for a childhood sandwich.

I ordered it and it just came in a regular roll and I wanted to fucking kill myself. I'm telling you man, bread makes memorable sandwiches. And you let that fuck, you order it with that, I would order it with a cheese steak, sauteed onions, mushrooms, mayo, like I wanna get a little, some hot a lot of stuff there And you let and the trick was you couldn't eat the sandwich right away

You let it sit for 15 minutes and it it gets yourself dude it like you make your shoes Yeah, literally do a dance. I engorge myself Yeah to the point where it's like you would just tap me and I would not but it got the book You know where a normal bread would get soggy to ruin the sandwich this all the juices flowed but the focaccia just took it like a champ and Every bite was like you were having you had it you're eating a cheesesteak and you had cheesesteak flavored focaccia bread around it around it. God damn that was awesome.

That's sopping up the soup with it. It was the, yeah, you know the feeling when you sop up something and get the last thing? A whole sandwich made out of that. The closest I get to my Swedish roots of being a Viking. Yeah. Sopping something up with bread. Dude, this was the-

Or my grandpa living in Alt Colorado. I feel like an old cowboy. Hell yeah. Is that the family went over, they were frontiersmen? Well, my dad's family is Swedish. But my mom's family moved to Colorado and like when you know when we were taking yeah You know that whole manifest From where I think they're Irish okay, but from Ireland or like from the East Coast

Yeah, great great. I is a from Ireland, okay, but my great I want to know who was the grandfather you gotta look into that like my mom's dad was born in like alt, Colorado So his dad I think was like the one that came west from Chicago So that's what interesting cuz he went bankrupt and then moved back to Chicago my grandma to raise My great-grandmother raise oh Leaving my great grandma to raise. Oh, so this runs in the family. No, that's my mom's side.

My dad's side was the one that bailed on everybody. Wow, you had deadbeats on both sides. No, my mom's family, besides that guy, my mom's family's solid. But I think, you know what's funny? My mom's family was the proper response to a deadbeat. Where they're like, no, we don't do that anymore. My dad's family was like, oh, that's what we do.

Oh, it was a deadbeat, you know, that's part of cost of doing business. It's the two ways you can go. You can go either like, we stand by our family now, which my mom's family's so good, and my dad's family was like, yeah, fuck that, I'm out. Bills came, you gotta pay them. Yeah, sorry, I hear a little parrot squawking my name.

But I'm thinking about sandwiches, where my grandma lived. Burgers are tough because burgers, the bun is so important and everyone thinks it's the fucking patty. Very important patty. I'm not going to say negligible. Obviously it's not. You can fucking pat but the bread is the bread is the bread is the quarterback The the patty is the running back. Okay, you still need a good running back Yeah, but if you got a Hall of Fame fucking quarterback, you can be all right in this place

You think so like a really good team with no running back is like a grilled cheese essentially Yeah, you're just like oh, this is delicious Yeah, yeah, if you had a great running back this thing or you're right great running back with like No with just shit like if you get a great piece of meat and you have to eat it on like White bread or cracker cracker bread or some bullshitting. Do you trend dover? Yeah. Hey the man won his champion Yeah, the man won his championship. I know, I said that a minute ago. But what did he have? Jamal Lewis. Yeah, rookie Jamal Lewis and Priest Holmes.

Oh my God. That backfield. Before KC, Priest Holmes. Yes, we were happy with Jamal and he went to KC. And then he had his whole renaissance. Yeah. That was quite a running back room. Fuck. But yeah, man, I remember there was this place, this burger place on the lake where my

grandma lived on Clear Lake. I can't say it's the quarterback. I'm sorry, I've been thinking about this. I can't agree. You can't agree with that? I can't agree with Brett being the quarterback. Why? Was Brett just the whole line?

Brett's the offensive line, yeah. Yeah, we did it, yeah. You know what? You know what? I'll give you that. Because you have unbelievable bread. Because the star threat, you're fine. You're protected.

You can put any bullshit on there. You're protected. And you can run a solid offense. And because I was saying with my own analogy, I was like, but if I did get an awesome patty on Wonder Bread, I would be okay. I wouldn't let it be great, but the bread is so good. You can just make the most of it. Yeah, you're right. All-in.

You have like an all-pro line. Yes, yes. That's the best. Eight seconds in the pocket. And then when you combine the two... But you're right, yeah, because an offensive line can make dog shit. But then sometimes... Because you can just eat good bread if you really need to.

So you just put a slice of cheese there, you're good. There's a place in San Francisco called Sam's Burgers. It's like a greasy spoon, side of the wall. It's my favorite burger in the world. Love it Okay, my favorite right it down now as we're going to San Francisco. It's called Sam's I'll be there the night of March 2nd because I'm doing Palace fine arts So, you know, I'm gonna get some Sam's after that dude, but when are we there then we're gonna miss each other But like a week damn it

but they They do like almost family backyard bread. Love that. But it makes the burger, the burgers are great. Now we're talking when you like a bun, like a family bun. Yeah, the bun is like, the bun is like almost like a Wonder Bread. Well those buns are good, those are buns.

Yeah, that's a good. With the sesame seed. That's great. Yeah, I know. That's great, like. But a lot of times people want the fancy Well, that's that's just like not overthinking it right the fancy stuff is like you don't want a diva offensive lineman Yeah, you want a guy in the trenches? Yes, this fucking place brioche get that the fuck out of my face with the focaccia

You're getting your guy. That's got a orange visor of orange visor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, for contract. But listen, you know, he's got pancakes. People did sells a product based on his blocking. Totally. Totally. Yes. He's got his own pancake batter. Yeah. No, better. Oh, lineman not doing that. Everyone's trying to sell booze. Fuck that, dude. Yes. You're a power protein power pancake batter Trent Williams So get it Trent Williams so pancake batter. Yeah. Yeah, cuz you're so what Trent Williams is pancakes power pancake Yeah, you're right. There's so many because there's so much people. It's smart. There's a lot of like power pink or protein pancake stuff It's just pro pancakes with fucking whey protein in it But they like they have that Kodiak brand

Anyone can do this like it's not but you know what you throw a little fucking NFL lineman on there if Lane Johnson is telling me that I'm a beef up absolutely and that I got a little oh It's a little dude me 14 if fucking Jonathan Ogden had power pancakes Mom, I don't care if you need to work another shift get J.O's power pancake batter Get better tips I want my pro key pancakes Yes, wouldn't it kill you to smile a little more when they come in for calamari? Oh, I'll throw some cleavage out there and start remembering people's names Whatever, fuck your tits

I need my power pancakes You need some better anecdotes mom I'll write bits for you Remember people's names Some better anecdotes mom Would have been locked in dude, how do they not have that? I know you're genius for that one. Well, they're gonna use it I'm gonna get no credit. Yeah, damn, but I will buy it and go, you know, I fucking thought of this Yeah, yeah This episode of stop visual is brought to you by booking comm the official accommodation partner of the MLB booking comm booking dot yeah Folks me and Elvis are out and about it's springtime We've been traveling for a couple months now, but you, now that it's thawing out, now that

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Head to the booking.com Instagram page at booking.com and check out our sweepstakes post for more details no purchase necessary eligibility requirements open to US residents 18 and older promotion period from March 26 to 4 13 25 where to find full official rules all rules are available in the caption of the sweepstakes post have you ever had a friend tell you that they invented DVR? I've had it more than twice. What was their point? That they really were like, no, no, no. I was telling people we should be able to rewind television and go, well yeah. I came up with time travel. What are you talking about? Oh yeah, dude. Air conditioning. I came up with

air conditioning because I was hot one day. It's just people that is so we realize some of your friends are stupid. Yeah, like what well people don't understand Like what yeah having just a basic idea is nothing no you have to you had an idea Yeah, that's like I've seen people do that when I've posted stand-up online or they go yeah I pretty much have the same joke online or they go yeah pretty much have the same joke and you go yeah no you don't man yeah no you don't when would I have ran across you well suddenly it started happening to me which like after

let's start a cult where no people just think of you as a stand up but it's like you know I did the movie and I've just gotten some weird DM's where it's like a block of text that's like completely like stream of consciousness and it's a guy being

like so yeah that's my movie idea whenever you're in Fort Worth dude come by I'll buy a couple beers and we could just write this it's like what are you talking about man there's a part of my brain that really hopes it's just Nick lying on his couch He's coming up with new profiles. He's setting up new movie descriptions. And then you go, cool dude. And it's just like, oh, the other side is him in his glasses. Suddenly enjoying it.

Yeah, dude. He's like, yeah, that fucker. That works. Yeah, because people feel, I mean, everyone's accessible now. But it is funny. Imagine if DMs. That's not what writing something is. And just being like, we should have DVR. That's not you know creating something

It's like being a little lab and you have to coach it. There's so much work Everyone has ideas you have to just do the stuff. The hard part is learning how to make it Very very very hard part, dude. I was just thinking about Thank God we didn't have you didn't really have like social media when you're going through puberty did you know no can you imagine how dangerous I would have sent Trish Stratus like 50 DMs 100% and then find him as an older man like I would like even watching Monday Night Raw like 12 years old just being like Stacy Keibler. Yeah, dude. I wanted that is true. Do little kids

Horned up do little kids DM WWE superstars I would I mean dude these days those the gals are looking incredible, too Well, they're yeah, I mean they've always looked incredible. They always have but they've tried to tell me that Trish Stratus isn't one of the hottest I'm a big Trish Stratus guy. Or Stacey Keebler. Huge Stacey Keebler, daughter of Baltimore. Is she? Yeah, she's from Baltimore I always liked that she was a little buttoned up. Mm-hmm. I always appreciated I mean don't get me wrong. I'm a Trish Stratus guy through and through. Yeah, a little extra, you know. But the cowboy hat and the titties up to the neck. Titt the neck. Yep, but they're looking or I'm like this

She was the librarian to me that was like and she wasn't like track like that trashy wrestling hot of like tits out Yeah, which got wrong big ass, which was awesome She was like a hot cheerleader tut like, you know, yeah leggy blonde like your sit your friend's sister Yeah version of that not true. We all know Like fuck it still got it. I was gonna put the she showed up at the Rumble this year Oh, did she yeah true stratus came in no idea still works. Yes She went she she yeah, Stacey is from Baltimore dated Clooney, of course. Yeah, that was the infamous one

Which you want to find out that surely 45? from Baltimore dated Clooney of course yeah that was the infamous one which you want to find out that she's only 45 that's impossible I was sorry she's four years older than me she was 18 I was like 13 she was 17 when she was in WCW no but she told me she was in WCW she's WWF starting WCW look at it I don't think this is the rare I know I know't trust then on it yeah yeah is that her with what's-her-face Stacy Keebler WCW sorry guy you're right you're right Monday Nitro you're right I'm sorry in 2000 I don't know what I was thinking so I was on so 2000 so I was 16 so it's not as innocent as I thought I was 16 so it's not as innocent as I thought it was. Damn I kinda had a shot. I didn't know I was within striking distance.

You really didn't man. Damn Stacy Keibler. If I could go back to my 20s when I was dead broke. Yeah by the time you had like any money she's literally dating George Clooney. Yeah I mean. By the time you had like not even any money but just like a car. Yeah by the time I had the dog Stratus, she was gone to the wind. She was already out of here.

And I wasn't a legs guy. Never really been a legs guy. Me neither. That's what made her so special in that. This was a refined woman that wrestling fans would never jack off to. You felt like she was untouched. Wrestling fans would never jack off to Yeah, this is like you felt wrong even like a little my god Stacey you're so sweet why am I doing this? Unspeakable Yeah, it's like sable Trish I this like you know there's a little there's like they had been through something I appreciated because those were the women my dad Jacqueline. Oh, I mean, I'll tell you right now

Who my outside of course, but also Goldberg, I mean a gold gold dust Wife right there. She's right there the third one in there. Yeah These are these are these are women that you know Hey, it was post divorce look. It's post divorced It's like they have had a change of heart and refused to testify in their boyfriend's domestic abuse Yeah, a slap the last moment a lot of Tories a lot of names Tories Dangerous combo but yes, Stephanie McMahon shows up with the huge man with the big canes definitely Lot of names. Tories, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is a dangerous combo. But then Stephanie McMahon shows up with the huge cans.

Stephanie McMahon with the big cans, definitely, absolutely. But yeah, Stacey, just a different caliber of woman. Yeah, I wasn't into Lita. Oh, I loved Lita. Lita was like, I think. Lita was trashy too, though. Yeah, but I never got into it. Stacey and Trish Stratus.

You know, what can I say? I'm a man of the world I jack off to Latinas then that's so brave Your come on the thong the little red thong poking out I mean I was beaten off to leave Yeah, the right here I was beaten off to leave. Were you? Oh yeah. I love, I always loved the red hair. Yeah, the red hair. The red hair was big for me too, yeah. I always felt like she would rather go rollerblading than hang out with me.

Nothing wrong with that dude. And maybe that's why I like, that's why I like bye girls. She definitely feels like she, you know, could date a woman or a man. Were you, she's the kind of girl where you're on a date and you bump into her ex-girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a chasing Amy's. you but yeah okay that would be cool true strategy true strategy feels like she's gonna be like hey my husband's home and he's angry you got it you never told me you're a man

really fast. Yeah, I mean, just try to the legend, the one that's yeah, that's that's who I name checked in my special, right? Yeah, yeah, come on. So she reached out. She said, I wish I wish, you know, happily married woman. She probably knows that if we got to talking, the vibes would just be just too undeniable. It'd be undeniable, dude. Yeah, she'd have to get divorced again.

She would start smiling and putting her hair behind her ear. Yeah. It's fucking over. And then what, divorce court? Yeah, we can't do that. So yeah. But Stacey Keebler, she's married too.

Stacey's also married. Yep. She's happy. Happy. She's probably, yeah. I'm gonna get into it. You just wanna see're living a good life. We looked this up and she married like a finance guy Such a likes. Yeah, like when you find out Salma Hayek is married to like a billionaire and that one breaks my heart, dude I know she I don't know. Who is this fucking guy? Joe oh Jared good for him got married in 2014

Fuck I said they bet. Oh, they got a bunch of kids Good for him. What kind of shit. Oh, so they bet all the kids Good for him. What kind of shit? What's he up to dude? What do you do? What's he do for work? He's gotta be entrepreneur Business they live in Austin. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna be at the paramount later I wonder what CEO of Future Ads. Oh, it's probably some AI. Future, let's look up the company. Interactive marketing company.

Game Vance. Online gambling. There it is. There it is. Follow the blood money. There it is. And use promo code Stavi when you're doing it. When you're losing everything you own, promo code Stavi when you're doing it. When you're losing everything you own.

Promo code Stavi. Psych, we're done after the Super Bowl. This will come out after the Super Bowl. I honestly didn't feel comfortable advertising fucking gambling. Oh, yeah. Did you do it for a while? I did it. Yeah, yeah. On the regs, they signed up for it, didn't tell me. And I have a bit about how I'm against it.

And now you see me on the park as me like traffic I don't even I probably not even making money off it yeah well you have to split that four ways and then using the fine print Lewis is right now I get 100%. So at the end, I sold her. You actually owe me about $20,000. What? How do I have to pay you? Well, I gambled your share. But I don't know football. I'm like, god damn it, dude.

Yeah, it does feel, there's going to be a pandemic. Something fucked up. I mean, there's going to be a wave. There's just going to be a wave of like we could that's why Vegas existed That's why we had a couple Indian casinos you do it It's like the hamster damn principle like have a couple places where you do whatever the fuck go buck wild listen You can't have it on your a person's phone Oh a bookie used to make you afraid. Yeah, you would like be afraid of a man

Yeah, you like I owe this man A bookie used to make you afraid. You would like be afraid of a man. You'd be like, I owe this man thousands of dollars because the Steelers fucking went for it on fourth and three where they shouldn't. And now I have to do this or this man is gonna hurt me. And now it's like, what's funny is Chris Stefano is telling me all his boys just found out that they tax your winnings. So they're like, you know, what is this?

That's how we're gonna get that's how we're gonna get people to turn against it is Italians realizing they have to pay taxes on their winnings. Oh, I got like a fucking bill for like $20,000 government Sure, by the way, I'm sure those companies are paying the same tax rate you are I'm sure this isn't another fucking scam Yeah, it's all you're you are paying for their bonus is fucking sucks Yeah, it is the richest people I go to sleep in a bed made of gold Do we were trying to get our fledgling podcast off the ground?

Okay, are you sure does Kevin Hart need the fucking does it? Are you sick of like watching celebrities take money that you know they don't need yes that's that's the crazy thing is like look I get you know commercials pay well and it's like actors that do commercials what you know that's a whole whatever ecosystem but like why are why are you doing this Matthew McConaughey you've got enough money dude we love you yeah you don't need to push AI on us. We understand that the Illuminati is pushing us

towards singularity, but a lot of us aren't down with it. It's like him being like, look at me, I'm sitting outside in the rain. How am I outside on the rain? Soon he's gonna be like, give in to your robot overlords. I know when the robot soldiers come to my door, I'm there like, want some tuna salad. And they're like, all right, that's a weird thing to say.

Yeah. I gave them my wife is their power. Their oil is blood. Just like us. Their oil is human blood. And're all human blood. And they harvest our organs. A human wouldn't know to harvest my gallbladder. AI is so scary.

Well, part of it's scary, but also part of it is like now everyone's calling everything AI. So like any, like, you know, remember remember we're like the AI chat bots or whatever and it's like smarter child or whatever it was just like some very very simple programs there's stuff that we've been using that they're just saying now it's AI or those call every algorithm it's AI generated it's like not everything can this stuff actually learn that was like when they would call everything truffle fries. Yeah Every fucking burgers wagyu now, that's what they've done Getting Kobe beef and Dubuque. Oh interesting, but they're doing that with it. We're like

and debuke oh interesting but they're doing that with it we're like a party only says Kobe yeah it's mostly just a way for for corporations to steal from us yeah and it's like it's just completely like it's it's laundering artwork and whatever and saying it's AI doing it it's like no you're just stealing people's work all those stupid drawings of Trump with big nipples or whatever you're stealing someone on deviant arts work where they have big nipples and gay guys sucking each other's cocks yeah we need to be paying those guys hey I made that about my lover yeah there's yeah the guy who draws Sonic is pregnant it's like oh it's funny what we do with Vladimir Putin's got Trump's baby but

that used to be Sonic having knuckles baby and we got to pay that original artist yeah I don't want to watch Trump and Kamala bang I want to see Marge get hit from the back by homie I'm trying to watch Lois take on Peter in Quadfire. Lois getting fucked by Brian and he's jacked. He's got a huge jacked human body for some reason but his head and a white penis which means I guess fur yeah his furry he covered it in fur you didn't really think this through

man you guys are so horny you skipped some important parts that would be funny if they did that he's got a jacked human body and then he's got that pink dog rocket dick but it's awesome and huge. Have you ever been like real close to a dog's penis? Like a red rocket? Like a really it is there's, there's something about it where you're like, I feel threatened. Yeah. Yeah. You just feel like it's animalistic. That thing's locked and loaded. It's like somebody,

it's like one thing that'd be around a gun. It's nothing to be around a gun where the guy just went. The red rocket is it's got the clip in the chamber. My brother in law and sister in law have this couple, their friends with their awesome and they have this giant dog and I don't know what the dog is. I want to say it's either a mastiff or it's okay so like a really easy like a fucking huge boy nuts on him yeah big

nuts big nuts Katie was petting him we're in Chicago Katie's petting him this motherfucker got bricked up like a human It was like human. Like I looked at it and I was like, I went like this. Son of a bitch. I don't know. We were trying to buy a couch with an eye. You know that film I love? And we go, Pull massive, just got a cock the same size as mine.

It was, Holy shit. And where I'm like, yo, hey, I got my man. And it was just red and pink. I got mad at him. I'm like him. Hey, bro, and it was just a dog's dick Like a huge like we're talking like we're talking like oh, but it's shiny and red and wet Well, yeah, dude, it's full full red rock full red rocket and how it's not like a human guy What do you work with fucking? Yeah, what do you work with the Henson? You know Henson dog suit

with your cock hanging out today we're gonna learn about it he takes the dog head off he's like just some scumbag from Chicago I ain't got a heart on I swear to God that guy was looking at me like he knew I was human But his wife got me fucking hard. I Don't know. I don't know what you want me to tell you bud. Your wife's got a great ass So what are we talking like legitimately four solid inches? Over six inches of dick. No this dog had a bigger dick than I have

You know what I was across the room, so okay And you were threatened very you know, it's your it's your fiance digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger digger Go after that thing. That's so funny cuz that's like no, they're very sweet That's very funny about it. They are like you don't want dog owners that are weird about it They were very funny very cool about it. They're like, yeah, it's fucking Yes, stop being hard then he gets harder Yeah, you fucking idiot Yeah, you fucking idiot. He's like, Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff. Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff. You fucking stupid fucking dog.

Your ancestors used to keep us safe. And now you're sad because we won't feed you boiled chicken. Oh, what, you want wet food? Look what you've become. Sorry, he's going to pop. Guys, stand back. He's about to pop. We're going to put him on the porch. He's about to pop. We gotta put him on the porch.

He's about to come. Star's about to arc roast. Oh, I always just say, dude, but one time, my old dog Montana, named after the greatest quarterback of all time. Shout out to Montana. Red gold, fat red golden retriever. I was like, he had just been neutered,

like just been neutered, but he still had some fucking bullets in the chamber. Yeah, and my mom we're driving my bullets They're the last none of his life Save it he wrote he wrote a deny Denied to pose but he my we're my mom's old forerunner and my mom was in the driver's seat And I was you know obviously riding shotgun I was like nine and my mom was like scratching Montana's belly and she was like yeah I don't know like I can drop you off at football practice

And then I looked back in this motherfucker is the first time I saw like it was a red rocket Yeah, and I was like Your buddy got a boner. My mom was like, Oh So hard cuz your buddy got a boner on mom You fucking slut Species slut Well that dog that you're talking about you could sound so you legitimately fuck that dog You know, like those women on the internet do that. Yeah, they like German shepherds and stuff.

I didn't realize their dicks were that big. Yeah, I realize if dogs they could get that big now pissed off. Now you're mad at dog. No cats dick is that big. Yeah. What's a Maine Coon cat's dick look like? They're like 30 pounds, I think. Yeah, look at the first thing elders elders

Googles there isn't much about the average penis size of a making well, that's again We're doing AI again, which again, this is a great example Google calls this AI and it's like all they're doing is fucking Just the first four things Yeah, I call it can I tell you that it kind of makes me happy we can't find this Me too man. There's still a part of the internet where they go what are you doing? We also still we still need experts sometimes we still need to call up a breeder. We don't need marriage experts We don't need financial experts. I need we need Cat experts. I also don't like these cats freak me out cats should be little I want one so bad a big Maine Coon. Yeah, my grandma's cat was

Hobbs he was half orange tabby half Maine Coon. Oh, big fucking boy. Yeah, he filled up a whole sink Yeah, I don't like that. Look at these they look like fucking monsters, dude But my my grandma had one with half a tabby So he didn't have those ears right he looked like a regular cat with a fucking big body Yeah, I just don't think cats should be this cat should be little and cute I want one like that with that. I don't like cats. No dude that genuinely feel like I'm being watched by them I don't like it, but I think that's see that's thing. I think it's funny because it's like But I think that's see that's thing. I think it's funny because it's like

The whole vibe of a cat is if a cat if you were the size of a cat and it was a size of you He would kill you yeah, and that's funny. Is that like haha? I have control of you You're cucked by life like you're this big you have the same DNA as a lion But you're you have to eat tiny line you have to eat whatever the fuck I give you yeah, and a couple rats Whereas like, the Maine Coon is, it's not quite unmanageable. Obviously people have them as pets. But it's like, it's starting to get too close to the tiger zone for my comfort.

That's exactly true. He goes, if I have a problem, you're gonna have a problem. Yeah, like this guy could really fuck you. An ornery Maine Coon could really fuck you up. Let a Siamese come at me. I'll toss that thing across the room like a rag. Exactly, I'll kick the fuck out of him.

Maine Coon, I... It's a fight. It's an actual fight. You're at least going to work with scratches on you. Yeah. If people don't know what happened to you. I remember I got scratched by... I tried...

This was one of the first times in hindsight. I so clearly could have fucked this girl, but I just... I was like 19 and I had not gotten pussy and I didn't know that I could, you know? And so she like invited me back to a place where she was, because the date was going bad, so in my head it was like, I'm not gonna get along with a girl,

but I guess she was just like, a good time, right? So the date was going bad, and then she's like, yeah, you come back, and she was like, her vibes, she just didn't really feel like it, or I't know maybe this all in my head sure and just it was just bad omen after bad Omen where it's like we were gonna go see a movie and the like tickets sold out or some shit You know and then we're gonna go to a restaurant And it was like closed and we went to some we actually did go to a diner And it was like there's like my chance like in hindsight

I'm like wow I blew it and that's kind of my origin story of like cuz I also had a crush on this girl in college one of the worst boat, but then the there was just like a She was house sitting with someone and they had a little cat and this thing Fucked me up dude like it would it scratched me like three separate times the poor She was just like all right I'm just gonna shut in a different room and like that was like it felt like an omen I should just listen to that cat nothing good could have come of it I like I try I kind of make a move and I just I just blow it so crazy

It was meant to be yeah, but she had some I did get to touch her titties, but I wish I would have fucked her We got such a what were we talking about now? I'm just sad I wish I would have fucked her. Well, you got such a tits. All right, what were we talking about? Now I'm just sad. It's so funny. Don't come out of it. Yeah, she's married now.

I looked her up on Facebook a couple years ago. The one that got away. Do you think she watches your shit? I don't know, maybe. It's more like, this was really early on in college and then she just kind of disappeared. Yeah, but I think you'd be surprised with how much of an imprint you make on people

that maybe you don't think. That's possible. You know what it is, it's not even the one that got away. It's like, that girl is like, she exists as like the, like, evidence that I'm just a fucking loser. You know what I mean? Like, now in hindsight, I'm like, even girls that, you know, it didn't go well with whatever,

I kinda, I would crush it with girls I liked and I would figure out ways to like woo them or whatever, and I just blew it so hard with her. I've had a couple absolute botches. You know, and I like, clearly could've fucked her, you whatever and I just didn't I didn't hook up whatever and I just completely fucked it up and I just kind of want to be like I'm I can fuck now I'm good if I know how to pick up on signs I would have never taken you a diner. I almost just want a nice I want to take this woman I want to ask her I want to be like hey can you pause

your marriage you probably have kids by now and let's just go to dinner in a movie, and I'll let me show you and just I just want it on the record It's kind of like how even like a first girlfriend. I want to be like I Don't want I don't want it on record How bad I was fucking I did 20 years like yeah, I need you To just know I can fuck better than that No, you know just just just to know and that's the bag that. No. Yeah, just to know. And that's the first girl, oh that's right, the cat scratched me, that's how we got here.

Just the most, yeah. That cat was releasing you. I wish I had listened to the cat. Cause you might have been married to her, living in fucking Maryland right now. You know what I mean? Possible. Like watching a podcast.

I would never marry her, let's be honest. I would just go and fuck her. How are those titties they were awesome They're like huge tits. They were sick Shout out to you. I won't say your name, but if you're divorced holler at the boy John fish used to have my favorite joke about that where he was like i'm in my late 30s. They're coming back around. Yeah Because all the good ones that got we got away. Yeah coming back Well anyway before I go into any more fucking dark holes, why don't we give some fucking advice?

Oh, do you want to order that? Yeah? Let's put that order in And get me just a side of beef. Thank you with tzatziki. I got a little salad. I'm trying to keep I love it I love it. Um stay fucking healthy my man my guy my boy Side of thanking a side of the tiki so funny that my sandwich is still up here. That's beautiful. I'm like I love you And get yourself something nice eldest Oh, yeah So put that put that order in and play us a little call. Let's get nuts.

Hey, Sobby, looking for advice from a male perspective. I just wanna have fun, nothing serious. And in a perfect world, I'd like to have a steady friends with benefits situation. But we always stop talking after the second or third meetup and I have no idea why. And they always give me like very specific and super flattering compliments on my

abilities And then they tell me I'm super cool and that they'd love to be friends with benefits, but it never lasts They always fizzles out. What the hell is going on? Interesting important question be, medium, rare. Well done. Actually, there's two kind of you know what, he wants

beefsteak, I want a kebab. The kebab is without the cheese. But yeah, medium. Friends with benefits, interesting. Fries or rice? Fries. Have you Friends with benefits interesting price price Have you have you engaged in friends are you a friends with benefits guy have you been in these situations I will tell you I for a long time did that and

Now that I'm out. I realize the error of my ways interesting you are denying Your emotions to connect So it's like chewing food, but not swallowing interesting like you need So you think you think like in you wanted to date the people or you were just with people that you didn't want to date Or what do you mix both? I think it was like I was putting myself in situations where I didn't have to hold myself Accountable I didn't have to make a connection. Yes. I didn't have to hold myself accountable I didn't have to make a connection yes didn't have to be intimate yes I could just fucking bang with a weird lifeless stare get the physical pleasure of it and then get out of there but there was no connection there was no yeah there was no like I

didn't grow from it but that sometimes gonna cause pain that's what dating is yeah totally it's it is and I will say most of these, part of this problem is what you want, it's cool to want something, right? Just like, just no strings attached, sex, whatever. I've been in plenty of these situations and some of them have been awesome because we legit both liked each other

and not to yeah each other But not neither one of us wanted to date the other like if you if I've had a couple of those and those are great But pretty much friends that you all that also suck you off, and that's all that's a cool friend, but You are by definition making a temporary situation exactly That's the cannot hold the plank that long. And I think part of it is like, and usually it's one person likes the other person more, and either you're gonna get hurt

or they're gonna get hurt in the long run. And even in the situation, yeah, even in the situations when it's like, I've had a friends with benefits situation, whatever, and the person gets a serious partner, like you're a little bummed, you're like, ah. I've been on both sides of it. I've watched someone get a serious partner

and you're like, well fuck, all right. And then when you get a serious partner, you go, there really is no, this just works. This is just the thing that works for me. Yeah, exactly. I also love that she's being debriefed in a very flattering way where they were letting you go but Top your top shelf work the head top if you catch my drift was the top

bust serious And to that I just want to thank you. They give her a shake. Yeah Take this water tote bag with the company logo Good luck out there, you know, hope you don't get herpes. So I guess the thing to think about is yes, these are temporary. These are like little moments in time where in the best case scenario for this is you run into somebody who wants the exact same thing as you at the exact same time and you both It fizzles out for both of you when you meet someone serious at the right time. Yeah, like

But that's really fucking rare. That is really waking up. That is Yeah, very difficult. So and you're gonna go through pain because one of you no matter who you're doing this situation with someone's gonna be hurt. Well, it sounds like she's pretty set on Not it sounds like the guys will be the ones that are hurt Yeah, she's pretty set on just not on wanting a friends benefits thing So but I actually disagree because she says but it never lasts But she would she what they tell me I'm super cool that they love to be friends with benefits, but it never lasts Yeah, she I don't think she wants to date them She just wants once a week to fuck them or whatever every ten days what guys what single guys turning that down if you're even somewhat

attractive to the girl That's I mean Some that do that think they want to do it because that's the other thing We say that guys every guy wants that a lot of guys don't want that a lot of guys are More fragile than they want to learn unlike like let go. Yeah. It's like fighting. It's like I remember the first time, I loved action movies growing up, WWE, I loved boxing.

And then the first time you're around a fight, you're like, ugh. You're like, ugh. Why do I feel this in my body? Don't treat him that way. Ugh, you hear that like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go like, ugh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ugh. I do like going to fights, but a real violent fight. Don't treat him that way Do like going to fights, but I know but a real first time you heard it Yeah, you're like, huh the smack and people like yeah friends with benefits I guess I got yeah people and then she ignores your text twice and you're like, huh? Yeah, but I find just nutted in you I bet people are like that was I bet that happens a lot with swingers where they're like you want to swing and then someone Bangs their wife you go stop Definitely, dude. Yeah, definitely like cucks. There's there's gotta be cucks. It's just like haul off and didn't realize it Yeah, absolutely, but that cuck chairs probably see a lot of the beginnings of a lot of mental breakdown. Yeah, that's a steam plant

So that absolutely is what it is in every hotel, right? Plant So Absolutely is what it is in every hotel right definitely the cock chair, dude But like do you think like Hilton is like it's not it's for reading Fucking perverts just look at porn on your phone all the time. It's the fucking cuck chair, bro They have there's a reason they're everywhere And so yeah, all I would say is this is just what this is and You're just it is like date is it's still at the other day finding someone for any

relationship whether that's a long-term serious one or Finding somebody who you align with is hard, no matter what. It's the hardest. And it's funny because I think you're right, guys who, like, we're like, well, what guy doesn't want that? What guys actually wanna do is mistreat women.

Like, what like young- No, what they wanna do is they wanna take them for granted. They wanna take them for granted. They wanna be like, I got this one in my, this one's never leaving me, it's this and also I want to go get new pussy and I bet you if she wasn't so upfront if these guys just thought she was like a Like a girl that might want to date them it would last longer than when she was just like but you I'm we're not saying

You know deceit to get to get friends with benefits don't do that But that's what I do think a lot of guys aren't aren't built for it So you just got to keep fucking and sucking until you you settle into something you like Yeah, do you keep trying out those baseball gloves until you find one that fits your palm, dude This one's up. Oh yeah. This one? Flapping. Oh that's good. Yeah dude I remember just being a fucking kid

I played like rec league soft, not even baseball, softball and truly the best part was just getting the glove, oiling it up and I was, I played the game I was like, sucks. I suck at this. I suck at this, I can't hit I suck at this I suck at this I can't baseball But man having a good mitt but just being like

Felt awesome. That's the most American I ever felt was like oiling up my glow plane All right, I'll do what else we got hold on I can't find a loose kebab on the seamless menu you want sausage or something What do you mean? You can't find a loose kebab on the seamless menu you want sausage or something. What do you mean? You can't find fucking loose kebab This is where I see the money's gone to your head Just look for some kind of extras whatever and if you I swear you can add a kebab or something or like a Lusuv lucky or something like that and if you can't figure it out, whatever I have I have meal prepped chicken and rice over there. Yeah, they fucking My doctor had to do readings on my liver How we looking I got something going on with it, but I had to do blood tests and then he was like on vacation

He's like, oh your blood tests will come through on the email so you can look at him see what's going on I was like great night fucking and I fucking signed in, and they're like, you need to verify this offline, and you're like, then why the fuck are we doing this? Yeah, that sucks. What the fuck? And it also just makes you worry like, is it so bad that the doctor might have to say it to me?

Are you gonna have to email me? The more things you have to, even if it's like a test like I just got test you know I got I did the same thing where I did all my tests and even if it's just like an STD test which I was like positive I was clean it was like until you hear them say yeah you're like yeah there could just be a moment where they go so we did find something dude diabetes and like STDs I would never be surprised if it popped up And I'm lucky it hasn't yet. What's funny is that first? I was like he's like your liver functions. I'm like

And he goes she do like a dry January they come off it. I was like no I haven't drank in 12 years Oh my god, he's like oh we got to look into this Fresh drunks liver That's not good. No, so and there's those fucking We gotta look into this. Oh no, dude. You thought you had a fresh drunk's liver? That's not good. No. Damn, those fucking... I might be back. If he's like, it's terminal. I'll be like well Then I'm gonna go out Yeah I'm just fucking... Foaming out of my mouth

What was that, doc? Goddamn, dude Well, you know, you're gonna you're plastering with fine collars, man. Don't you worry if I don't have diabetes your liver is fine Hey, stop, hey, Obis and esteemed guest I'm gonna just cut to the chase. So I fell in love with this guy that I jerked off at a Korean spa. So we met at the spa and I jerked him off under the water in the hot tub area.

That's romantic. And after that we exchanged numbers, we started chatting, come to find out, we actually have a good connection. You know, fast forward six months, we've gone on trips together. We've gone camping We've we've met each other's parents and as friends quote unquote friends from work And we've been seeing each other almost every weekend

Every other weekend we live About an hour and a half two hours apart But we've been you know meeting half who's been making it work we can have a spa and it's been great every time you know sparse why every time you know we go hiking together fishing we've been in new nudist resorts we've been living it up having a blast my problem is he refuses to consider us as dating even though we do everything that like a dating couple would do And he's not out to his family and he has no intention of coming out to his parents and He's 45

So I feel like at this point he's just never gonna come out And every time I try to bring it up or every time we talk about it He's just it gets really emotional, you know, we start crying and shit because we want to be together But he doesn't want to come out to his Mormon parents Come on and also He's kind of suspicious that I'm just like a hoe Because the first time we met I jerked them off immediately um in the in the hot tub

so this guy's not is clearly not a part of gay culture and wondering if I should hold on and hope that he eventually Comes out to his parents and we can Be together happily or or I should just move on and find something else but I'd really be sad to let this go anyway hopefully y'all can give me another perspective thanks yeah that's tough I mean this is exactly kind of we were talking about with the last call where it's like if you just led someone on you could have a friend friend with benefits for a year and a half, but if you were Straightforward and said you want one they might be weird about it, but this guy probably dipped way earlier

Yeah, she's like let's be friends with benefits. Yeah Yeah, because especially well especially the guy he's talking to this 45 year old Mormon He he clearly has to like, he can't be upfront about anything. He just kind of has to be slowly coaxed into doing gay shit, although it does sound like he jerked them off pretty fast. But like, even the dating and the other thing,

it's like, he's not himself. He's not like being honest with who he is. And- It's weird to meet his parents under the guise that you're his friend when you're like going away and that you have this fantastic Connection and you go on these vacations together. You're falling in love, which is something you didn't say But it's pretty obvious from the voicemail for sure He's like falling in love with this guy and this guy's going like yeah, I'm just not gonna shake the boat

I'm not gonna get out of the boat. That's a great point. He said they met each other's parents, didn't he, Eldis? Yeah, as friends. As friends. Oh, as friends. So that's weird, because it's like, his parents, you hope they know. You hope a parent's intuition is strong enough that they, like the mom goes like, I've always known you were gay.

But it's funnier if they don't. It is funnier if they don't. Hey, did you notice like a weird electricity between Mike and Corey? They're in the finals of their fantasy football They're right. They're finished football rivals the championships this week. I was growing up in Provo grab ass played a little made a little something else Yeah Yeah, that sucks. It sucks because you know, the problem is is that they are he's Mormon So they're very Mormon and they can't at the same time and look whatever

We got we have to sure there's pro. There's the I'm not coming out as hard I'm it's everyone's personal decision whatever but at the same time He can choose to do that and that sucks. I feel bad for him because he's letting you know his parents Hang up some beliefs fuck his his life up That's his choice. He wants to be that tragic guy that never gets to live his life But you can't be that guy. Yeah, don't fall into his trap. You can't do that like this is like You what you have to go back in the closet cuz your boyfriend doesn't want to piss off his fucking parents Are they fucking rich or something? So are you gonna inherit like, you know, like part of the fucking Mormon temple?

Like what are you what are we talking about? What what is he doing this for? I think you make the best point which is what is the endgame? What are you gonna are you gonna be happy? Does this guy make you happy enough to live in the shadows and drag this along or is a little sadness going to take you a longer way where you break it off with this guy and then the next guy you jerk off in a hot though might be the one see if that glass Not below, fucking hand job works. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think you can't, you can't, a big theme of our show is like,

not allow, don't, if people wanna live in, if people want to like, live in their fantasy, that's up to them. If they wanna lie to themselves, that's up to them, but don't let people lie to you. And he's sort of forcing you to like, lie about your life because he doesn't want to, and he's sort of forcing you to like lie about your life Because he doesn't want to and like is there some is it just he doesn't want to disappoint his parents Like is he doing this for anything?

I hate to go back to the the inherit thing but it's like if these fucking pay the only way I would say even maybe think about it is if These parents are old as shit Yeah, they're about to die. If they're old as shit and you're gonna inherit something big, like you see. I think if you're just old then just, you know. Even then it's like dude, what are you doing?

You gotta like, and I hate to say this because he would be very sad and you shouldn't, like you know, your life isn't to teach this guy a lesson but maybe what fucking spurs this man out of the closet is you being like I don't want to feel like I'm in the closet I love you. I want to build a life together And I don't want to be this is crazy. I can't lie about who I am so either you're honest or We have to end this relationship

I mean, I think you're right you might draw them out if you go like I can't fucking do this, but you also can't depend Don't don't do it as a way of like Bluffing no you have to truly be ready to move on you have to really truly be ready And honestly when you move on like that you make a giant decision That is gonna hurt and will take some time to get over usually the universe rewards you Yeah, usually you find find someone that is out, that you love, that you can build with, you know what I mean?

Instead of this, whatever this is. Because this isn't a relationship. You're in love with him and he's just hiding you. And that's the other thing, it's like we also don't know, that's the other part thing about this is like, is this guy using this as a shield to prevent?

further Seriousness like he could be I hate to be I hate to be like Suspicious and say that he is stringing you along and he's using this as a and I'm sure it's not I mean I'm sure nobody wants to stay in the fucking closet But I will say a silver lining of staying in the closet is if you were if you were serious relationship averse You could just always be like hey my parents. I can't do it because my bedroom guys could do that We go sorry can't tell my mama like pussy I have to say I have to fake it. I have a fake boyfriend. I fucking Katie yeah

Both love sports Mom she's my bride. I'm straight. Daniel, no. I love her tits. I love her ass. You have disgraced this family. Oh my God, I thought you were a queen. You're a fraud. You're a fraud.

Dan, sashay away. Alright, I'm gonna stomp away. I'm gonna stomp away and then spit. Oh, fuck dude. Poor guy. Hi, Stav. So, I'll just get right to it. Thank you. I'm a senior in college currently and I live with four other people. So I'll just get right to it. I'm a senior in college currently and I live with four other people.

We all rent a house together. And there's this one roommate who, she's got a bit of a drinking problem and it gets to the point a lot where he pisses himself. Oh no. This is probably, I've lived with these people for two years now. Oh no. I've lived with these people for two years now. Two years.

I've probably witnessed him piss himself like... I don't know. Maybe like eight times. Oh wow! That's quarterly. Eight times in two years is nuts. He does quarterly pisses. Eight times in two years is crazy. That's wild. Maybe less, but around there and

I don't know what to do. The other roommates have tried to talk to him about his drinking issues. We even at one point like decided not to drink with him but not partake while he was partaking. That didn't really seem to do anything you don't say pause this the guy who pisses himself regularly didn't bend to a little bit of social pressure okay Well, guess I'm gonna have more piss on my sheets then. Hey, your mouth to my sheets. I'm gonna go fuck a dick a week. So fucking funny. The pissing is really annoying. It's gotten all over our stuff. What is he, a puppy?

Yeah, so like, I don't know what to do. I don't know how involved I should get. It's obviously a problem, but it's kind of gross. So, yeah, thanks. As an alcoholic who has been sober 12 years, but apparently has a dinged up liver, this guy 100% has a drinking problem. His body can't control it.

He, I, dude, it is, I quit drinking when I was 29 years old, right? It was pretty obvious I was at a drinking problem since I was like 19. When you show signs of a drinking problem at 19, you are drinking at a level that other 19 year olds are going, what the fuck? This is 21 year old, 22 year olds going like dude. That's the craziest part is that like You usually get until 23 when it becomes obvious you're an alcoholic You're still the age where it's cool to be that fucked up. Oh, you know so hardy piss If you only been self like once a year great. It would be like he's like oh, yeah, dude This guy gets so fucked up. He'll piss himself

Yo, he's like punch a Tony Phil Six more weeks of winter So yeah, the fact that you've gotten to the point where this is a problem is crazy Is a drinking problem you have to decide right now how close you are with this guy because you Here's the thing about drinking they're not going to listen if they don't want to listen well that's what I that's that's the

point is like look you're fucking college roommates and this is another theme that comes up on the show it's like there are people there are different like stations of life you know I mean it's like you can ride with everybody like everyone's on the same train in college. And it's like, yeah, I fucking love,

Phil's the fucking man. And then it's like, you know, and then you get to stop, graduation is the stop. And you won't see most of the people, most of the people you went to college with get off that train. There's people that you know and you care about that within seven years you go,

I'm fine never talking to them again. If they died, if they died in an excruciciating pain there are people who are like maybe my you know that you thought we were best friends when you were 19 that it's like if if they had a horrible death you would be like oh man you wouldn't like cry you know fuck what do you want to get for dinner? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm telling you, if you keep scrolling, Elvis, you'll find it. You scroll.

Kebabs are down there. You scroll and you go like, oh man, oh my friend died. Yeah, yeah. Do you wanna get Chinese food? Nuggets like that kind of thing. And so this is a huge example of like, the guys who party too much

Those guys usually get off the light that your train of life. They get off at the stop around 23 You know me 24 because he makes this kind of this behavior to 41 and like People that he works with that don't know him or calling people. Yeah Like Jason has a real bad problem. Yeah, he comes to work. We know it. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right. They're going like Jason has a real bad problem Yeah, he comes to work. We know it. Yeah, I work in HR. I've only seen him out Do you know who in his family don't even know? Yeah, they're just are you his wife? Yeah, like Are you his wife? No his daughter's like and they have to do the You are his college roommate, Yeah. All you can do

and this is in your jurisdiction. All you can do is go stop pissing everywhere. Well what you can do and yeah what your jurisdiction is if it gets on your stuff he owes you money. Yes. Like that's it. And then you all what you do is you won't be able to convince him to quit drinking But you can shame the fuck out of this guy. Yeah, that's true. You can make fun of him for pissing himself Hey, look who it is. It's little baby. Yeah, baby boy Little cousin from home alone drinking Pepsi I Went himself you give him a bottle filled with like fucking natural Natty ice Yeah, we're just pissing his stuff. Yeah piss on his shit piss

Yeah, you could piss on him and he would think it's himself That's the other side of the college roommate thing like man I remember we literally pissed on the guys who we hated roommates fucking I remember we literally pissed on the guys who we hated roommates fucking shit in our lawn. It was awesome. Do you remember? It felt so much better than getting like any money. That guy was a piece of shit. Than getting any money we were owed.

It's like, fuck his shit up while he's not in the house. If he ever wants it or something, it was like, yeah, it's on the lawn. I don't give a fuck. These people are in a home with three other adults. This is hostile living. Yeah, you are in a hostile right now It's a nice hostile but hostile rules. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Fuck their shit up It pisses on your stuff. Fuck his stuff up and she's a senior, right? So that's the thing. It's like if you were junior, I'd be like, well, first of all, this is your fault for living with him again.

Like, I- There absolutely had to be a notice. Someone did go like, Sammy's got like a bad drinking problem. Well, I know, and listen, I know where she's at, because like, you think your roommates is, you think your college roommates, it feels sacred. When you're fucking 20, you're 19, You're like, that's my roommate, dude

We started in the dorms together now now we're you go from the dorms to like the nice apartment on campus to like dude We're in an off-campus house Like this is what we can't ruin it now Like it feels like a marriage or whatever and like you you got to it But it's like it isn't sacred if there's if there's a guy that's annoying your sophomore year Don't move with him off camp and it's like look and don't live with someone that deals drugs for free drugs It will end poorly you get swatted man. I got robbed. I got fucking Look up Dan Soder hogtie story on YouTube

It's all true So yeah, I mean in terms of like what to tell him about his drinking he's not he's a fucking senior in college He's not going to fucking a he's not gonna be like this You put it the way you put it. Yeah, I think I gotta change my life. Yeah I wear diapers now. Yeah It's all good. I got depends. You can't even tell they got rubber sheets Might as well fuck it That piss slides right off. Yeah. No, this is like this is a guy who just buys sheets in bulk now

He goes oh, yeah. Well, guess what the of say hit China. Yeah, I bought six sets Oh, he takes an extra student alone to buy more sheets. Yeah, so he doesn't have to do laundry Sally Mae for 17,000 Sheets combined. So yeah, I don't know man. You're just kind of fucked. This is what happened You've made it, you know, yeah, it's over now by the time this episode comes out You'll pretty much be done. You'll be graduated But you know good luck and let that be a lesson I mean, it's funny this is the kind of guy who like usually starts embarrassing himself and like

Like when a friend brings was a plus one to a wedding and he fucking has diarrhea Like you know he's just like shitting in a flower pot. At first he's aggressively dancing right who brought him? Well it starts fun and it's like oh that guy's great and then like an hour and it's like sweating too much. Yeah and you get the literal whose man's is this. Yeah. You get that if you get a whose man is this in a white function. Yo go get you come get your guy Yeah, he's chugging his cran vodka feverishly while he's waiting in line. Yeah, it's open bar I went to college with him. He said we don't wait. We don't have to tip He's like stoked. It's not cash bar and then that's when you're eating a dessert talking to your friend and someone comes over he goes

he's um He's hitting on Amber he comes over and he's like what do you want? he's like buddy I'd fuck you shit up I still have fucking balance God damn dude all right what else we got LD? Chase Baldy you seem like someone who's pretty emotionally mature but has had a good amount of sex and I don't have a lot of male figures in my life where I can immediately talk shamelessly about sex but I'm a 19 year old university student who's a virgin and this guy I dated when I

was 17 in high school confessed to me again after we hung out again. He confessed? And I held his hand and kissed him, very stuff, but he seems way more into me after I reflected a bit But I said I'm already a date cuz I'm really not I just got out of something that was just me being obsessed with this Other guy so romance is kind of out of the picture for me Pissed him, but I really want to kill in the moment I've kissed him but I really want you to in the moment if I did twice. You feel bad because you kissed the guy who confessed his love to you? This is adorable.

Sweet baby angel listen to me. This is like. There is a big bad world out there. You're going to pray for these kind of problems when you're 35. This is literally like a baby being like, I have a girlfriend in kindergarten, but I held a different goal, but a different goal gave me a cupcake and I said, thank you. And she said, now I'm your girlfriend. I said, okay.

But now my other girlfriend's mad. But we were supposed to do a science project together. But then she said I could just when you want stuff out of cigarette and go honey, loves a motherfucker. I'm gonna tell you right now that certainly bitch is going to buck you about 48 times. This is the kind of advice you wish you could just give as Sam Elliott where you go.

Well, sometimes well, love is a mean bitch. Sometimes, well dude sometimes you eat the bear. Well sometimes the bear eats you. Just keep your cooter covered. Make them wear rubber. Just make sure it ain't lamb skin either. make them wear make sure it ain't lambskin either I don't care how good it feels you're paying a price if you feel warm you got a little flesh purse for you better bag it up okay so let's fit, that's so funny, but let's hear her whole call out. No, no. I don't like her, believe it or not. Well.

I feel bad because he said I'm perfect in his mind and we're quote unquote end game, but no one that you think is end game when you're 19 is going to be end game, that's just not how that works She knows that anybody use that word before Outside of movies and honestly, I do find him attractive. He's super kind of sweet, but I don't think about him Outside of being with him in person. You know, I only said he hasn't been able to stop being about me for like a year now I had no idea Anyway, basically I want to fuck but I don't know if it's morally correct to fuck him,

even though I want to. But this year, I really just wanna explore myself and just fuck, to be honest. I have triple B subsides that I'm doing absolutely nothing. It feels like a waste. It made a few jokes about wanting to hook up, but mostly he wants to hold hands and like kick his feet Which is not a bad thing, but it's like it's a bit crazy

I don't know. It's a bit crazy that he thought about me so much and I just for anyways, right? I Probably thought about it. Whatever it I'm 19, but sweet. He's a kind guy But I'm also thinking about the guy CS fes with as well. He currently has a girlfriend. So he's out of the picture I don't know. So what should I do? Is it morally correct to fuck? How does one get big? Bisexual I don't know how to get pussy either. You're fine. I'm a computer science virgin Very innocent. Okay, I get innocent romantic confessions from people, but I don't want romance. I want the fuck.

I don't want to break hearts. I don't know how this works. Although everyone I mentioned is Turkish. Everyone is Turkish. And the guy I'm gonna be into. Well, you gotta get out of there. I think it's funny, but. You absolutely gotta get out of there.

Please help me. At least he's not 27. Yeah, yeah. Oh baby, you're in danger. Girl, you're in danger. I'm gonna tell you right now, fuck the sweetheart. Fuck the sweetheart. Because what you're gonna do is,

he's gonna learn how to emotionally connect to his penis, which is gonna be very valuable 10 to 15 years down the road. Well I'll say this, right? I like that she, basically her hangup is she knows she doesn't wanna date this guy. Yeah. Look, I was once an overly romantic 19 year old

who was dying for pussy. I could, I mean same. I could tell you all the songs I looked out of Right and if this and look maybe You think it's wrong to fuck him without thinking you want to be in a serious relationship I If there is one thing I could do with a time machine that maybe my whole life different Maybe I don't have to prove

My whole life has been trying to prove that I can fuck and that I'm cool and like I've been doing things for attention From women my entire life because I didn't get pussy at 19 Yeah If I even go back in time and find a fucking nice girl with fat tits to fuck me when I was 19 That I would do that before I would kill baby Hitler. I'm gonna tell you His sister is gonna create another Hitler. That's how these things work. No one is going to make me not a loser. What do you want me to get rid of? Economics? But I'll tell you right now, you're absolutely

right. If I would have not farted in front of that girl Sarah at my dorm and she was grossed out because she had giant fat titties and she was very and nice, and we would have had sex where I would have been able to emotionally open up and connect. My 20s and 30s would have been way better. Not even open up, just have sex. Yeah. You know what I mean? What I mean, that's why I never thought

I was valuable emotionally until I was older. I was like, I started getting sex because I was drinking and your out, and you were slamming into people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sex because I was drinking and you're right. Yeah It would have been nice if you this guy's very Kind of connection you kissed him you're in you think he's sweet you kissed him you guys hold hands you guys do that Cute fight let that be his path to sex not like Why I'm so into the WWE divas, right? Right, right. Like I was broken by a man, bigger and meaner than you. Yeah. Well, I have a penis. Right. Right. Right. Yes. Yes. And look, ultimately that I'll basically,

I'm saying is if you're worried about hurting this guy, we can tell him, he will, he is resilient. We can tell you, yes, you give him a little pussy. He will bounce from that fall. Yes. If you want this and it does sound like this is a pretty nice kind of No state low stakes You know, she's already talking about being obsessed with some guy with a girlfriend. You don't want to start going that way That's a bad route, you know, like this seems like a nice easy thing This don't punish the guy for being too into you if you really want to if if you're into it which it

sounds like she even said she wanted to fuck him right so it's what a fuck if you told him like hey I'm not looking for the serious but I really like spending time with you I find you attractive like I'd like to hook up whatever also you're giving them your virginity which is like he will feel special even if you don't date for the rest of his life. That's frontier logic right there. I go, when a woman is pure, when you're ever to deflower a woman, you take that on and a lot of men... That counts for four other bitches.

One virgin counts for four sullied whores. Breaking a hymen does mean that she is your prairie wife. Yeah, but I'll say, here's what I'll say. Your instincts are correct here. This is the age to do, you know, to do, you said you'd be getting a lot of innocent, like, confessions of love. You know, people are, I think, airing on the side

of innocent, nice nice sort of like Sweet stuff to kind of get your foot in the door and also realize what you want sexually and also demystify it and like And this is like this is nice because this is almost like the tutorial level of a video game. Yeah, you're in no danger What's your walking you're learning how to play the buttons? Yeah, you're learning what B does. You're learning. Show me how you jump. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hey, show me how to suck dick. Oh, that's pretty cool.

How would I fuck? Oh, like this? Nice, nice, nice. Oh, great. R1 and X. Nice, nice, nice. R1 and X for a super punk. Super punk.

Watch out, I'm gonna bust. I'm busting, I'm busting. Tits, ass, belly, mouth. Where would you like me to blow it? Give this sweet boy? You're unblemished Give them the purity that's known as Untapped bisexual I mean, yeah This is Colorado and by the way, it's like I'm trying to be as professional as possible This is like this girl like wrote in a porn category

It's like a poor like sweet nerd with fat tits just wants to get fucked and I'm like, okay, just do what's best for you So I'm at home putting baby oil on my big bouncy boobs And I wonder why won't nice boys dine me? I'm like, um, just hang out with a nice guy. She goes, I'm 19. Don't come to a show, please. I'm barely legal and I'm very whiny. I'm also a night nurse. What?

So look, this is like, basically, don't over... I guess our advice is don't overthink it take things slow This is a guy who might be a little too into you if you really want to be if you're just upfront And you're like, you know, I don't want anything serious whatever Then you've done your due diligence, right? But I just say like in the moment you wanted to kiss him now you want to fuck him Fuck a little bit and how do you get it? wanted to kiss him now you want to fuck him fuck a little bit and how do you get it you'll figure it out and PS he's gonna come so fast so quickly the second

time he's gonna fuck the shit out of you yeah but the first time let the boy blow yeah yeah yeah let him fuck yeah and then the parade of apologies yeah yeah and then get ready for round two cuz he'll be fucking 19 he'll be ready to go is the second to come leaves his dick totally and by the way what you're saying is if you were like Hey, I like you. I like you know I I like spending time with you. I think you're attractive. I'm at a point in my life where I just want to explore Sexually like again what guys if I'm 19 and a hot girl that I'll have a crush on I think I love says that to me I'm gonna it's it's like I'm a devout Christian after that cuz I believe in God

Yeah, it's like buying a fuck something you can't afford on a credit card You're like I'll figure it out when she fucking breaks up with me. I just have to fuck her five Ninety percent interest rate great Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, know, you might be in... you sound like prey, basically, for like, for like, for people that want to like mistreat sweet, hot young women. Yeah, your first sex should be a lot of you guys saying hi to each other while he's inside of you. Should be a lot of like, hi. It's interesting because she clearly... if my guess is she wants to break out of that innocence,

like maybe this is something that she's been up against her whole life. She wants to go like, Christina Aguilera dirty. Yeah, she's a gunpowder. She's a keg of gunpowder. So, but like don't rush it. Take your time with it. And you'll get, you'll learn all that stuff.

You'll figure out what you like and you know, enjoy the tutorial level for a little bit. If it's not this guy, guys like this, whatever whatever and if the guy you're gonna fuck is watching this Fucking you just struck gold my friend. Yeah, absolutely. You just hit a vein of gold Yeah, but you know you're worried about like how do I get dig? How do I get pussy? It's like you're already saying like multiple people confess their love to you You have big-ass tits and you're a fucking computer science major like Everyone you're in a class with wants to fuck you probably the professor wants

Him most of all he's like yeah here My wife two years ago He's like just one more year and then I get tenure. Oh man good luck you'll be fine. Jabalah, sensalaah. Oh baby what else we got little eldest? So sorry last time I'll leave this voicemail I feel like I messed up the other two so call dropped on the last one. It's okay. I'm getting married this November 2025. My fiance and I have been together four years. He's great.

We just got engaged, love him, great relationship. About a year and a half ago, his mom dropped a bomb on me, kind of like jokingly, very lightheartedly told me that she took my dad's virginity when he was 18. What? When they worked at the same bank together for like, my fiance's parents are in their late 60s. My parents are in their late 40s.

His parents are together. My parents are divorced. So she jokingly tells me that when my dad was 18 and they worked together, so she would have been in her 30s. She took his virginity. Wow, pause this. Sick. That's awesome. Basically, the last caller is like, that's what I want. Yeah. She was like, give me. Dude, an 18 year old guy fucking a 30 year old woman rules.

As a guy that only got pussy from women over 30 when he was 20. Shout out. Only dude. Respect. Only dude. College girls didn't want to fuck me at all. But I worked at that radio station, and I'll tell you what, if a woman was into hoobastank,

then your boy was getting that hoobastank. Ah, dude, all those ladies listening to 40 Minutes Non-Stop New Rock, getting fucking blitzed by the kid. I'm coming off the edge. You're in a fucking local Bennigan's doing a fucking... Dude, I was doing the Desert Diamond Casino. Just bombing for 20 minutes.

Then having a lady tell me your kid got taken by Pima County Child Services. Like, that's sad. That sucks. You want to go do a shot at the Golden Nugget? I'm 19 but I'm an old soul This is fucking wild let's keep going on this shout out real quick though shout out to older women that fuck younger men Because the thing that they do that younger women don't know is they tell you to slow down It's just Jack Hammer City until you fucking older lady, and then they go baby baby baby

Relax yes that was the most sexual liberating part of my life is when an older woman went slow down. You're like, what? You're like, oh. She's like, like a dog humping her. She's like, I wanna blast my cum all over your fat old ass. And she's like, all right, slow down. I'm trying to cum, I know how to cum. Blasphemy come over your fat old All right I'm trying to come I know how to come

Yeah, young girls are just fucking it's true Well, they're there I fucked an older not that much older Maybe like when I moved here, she was 10 years old to me. She wasn't super old whatever But there was some that was there what there's like a before and after moment to that was there what there is like a before and after moment to that like it's making a girl who knows how to bust bust in a specific way it is the moment in Wayne's world to where Garth is got the smoking jacket after he fucks Kim Basinger yes my darling yeah I'm sorry that sometimes my darling loves them there is something to that everybody should Fuck some Oh Oh

Easy girls. Yeah, this might be our last call folks. There is everybody should Have a little dalliance with an age gap Don't having a younger lover. Yeah, it's nice. It is in yeah, it'll teach a little something It'll what you know, it's it's like it's time travel fuck yeah yeah I'm here from the future But don't spit on the tits. Let her spit on her own tits. Oh, fuck. Play us the rest of this call, Eldis. This fucking penthouse pet. I'm not going to get into exactly how she told me, but she was pretty flippant about it. Wild move on her part by the way.

Honestly, pause pause real quick. Makes me think this, her future mother-in-law has a little bit of a drinking problem. If you're just throwing out info like that, you better be three sheets to the wind. This is insanity and also like, imagine her dad at the first joint family Thanksgiving being like.

He does the fucking Bernice good to see you again do like do we have a moment in a vault yeah I mean that's great like this is the dad's night is it that's nightmare dude the fun course yeah of course she I can never have anything good the one cool piece of fucking old Fucking wedding with this bitch at Easter This is since also an insane move on the mother-in-law's part to bring you take this to the grave Yeah, or you guys you. Or you give fucking like that kind of thing at Easter. For sure. And so this should have been an old school, the way everyone died with their secrets.

This should have been like you're raising another man's child in the frontier. How shit like that would happen all the time? You guys, well, when did you marry Ma? Uncle Dingo, well, your See, when did you marry ma? Where your dad he died of tuberculosis Well, your mom was sucking me off by the feed We're out back in the prairie Getting boofed about you would have done just about anything for shelter Yeah, couple a mouth to feed and no skills.

Your mother liked it when the natives watched. Alright, let's finish this up. I kind of like laughed when she told me. I was obviously super uncomfortable. Yeah. Anyways, the wedding is coming up in like nine months. And she is just very loud very outgoing of course very flirtatious. We know exactly who this woman is. She's the woman who fucked an 18 year old. She's awesome by the way. She rules. Maybe not in this capacity. But this is crazy to tell her. Driving a fucking you know you drive a fast car in New York City

You're not really getting the most out of it Country let it stretch this lady is 30 fun you see this lady where you're this is the types of ladies you wanted to bump into when you were 24 100% oh, so you know bitch named Barb that just buys you a whole margarita With her necklace while you tell her what? classes you're Finish this up here else and my dad is not he's pretty reserved Cracked that quiet About that kind of a thing, you know like sexual in the windows and stuff. I mean, he's just very, very

like quiet and conservative. Has a really good sense of humor, but that's not part of his sense of humor. He's very like dry humor. Anyway, so pretty nervous that she's going to make a joke or a comment and he's going to like die of embarrassment at my wedding So I want to avoid that she makes comments and jokes even to me like in front of my fiance's family because no one else knows my fiance knows But yeah, I mean she'll say stuff in front of My fiance's dad who doesn't know Uh, my fiance's dad, who doesn't know. Oh my god.

Anyway, okay, thanks for... Oh my god, she's a villain. She's an insane wild... I mean, this is a wild card. This lady who used to, you know, the outgoing flirtatious woman, now she's in her late 60s, you know, the power is gone, the power is zapped, so she has to play... I mean, dude, her fastball's... ...dark magic now. Yeah. Yeah, her fastball is gone. The power is apt. So I mean dude her fastball dark magic now. Yeah

Yeah, her fastball is gone. These are she's got to fucking do an ethos pitch now to stay relevant She's doing under it up, dude Yeah, this is fucking wild I mean you have to I Hate to give you this solution, but in my mind It's the only thing that makes sense right now You have to go have a one-on-one with her and go like this. She or does her fucking husband though? It doesn't know dude. No her fiance knows I'm sorry her fiance. Oh, yeah, you do it together It's them. It's his mom. I'll tell you right now. He has to do it if Katie had a problem with Trish. I

Would mediate it you would mediate sure you'd immediately mediate. Yeah, you go like a there's a problem Bring her in but we got talked about this. It's the only way to settle with your mom. Yeah my mom I'm saying your husband needs to mediate her Expressing her feelings that she does not want to be comfortable at her own wedding She's uncomfortable with the jokes that she fucked her mom Honestly, maybe even crack a joke like well clearly the sexual chemistry between the families are good because I'm gonna be fucking your boy the rest of my life yeah I mean even get his baby juice in me well yeah I would say yeah he has to mediate or this kind of falls

on him I'm my thing is like does she even need to be there now like this you gotta take care of this it's your your mom, you gotta take care. Moms are the ones, like, if you're the son, you gotta go take care of it. But I would say to make things cool, I would do it together and make it as like a little. Sure, that way it doesn't, cause the other thing is you don't want to like,

you wanna address it but diffuse if you can. You don't wanna make it, but at the same time, you're like, hey, not a huge, you kind of the vibe has to be like, look, it's not a big deal. It's just my dad's a pretty reserved guy. I just want to make sure we're not, I don't want to embarrass him. It probably, you know, cause her, she's very sweet. She says like the whole problem is she doesn't want her dad to feel embarrassed. And I think if you say that it's like, she done very nice at the end of the day if she doesn't

Accept that you're like well, then we have to throw our nuts on the table. It's our fucking wedding yeah, and so we are asking this of you and You have to do it Don't have to get to that a lot of times parents And I'm sure this is just like a generational thing and it happens to you when you get older you still think you're the main Character and you're not a character you guys this is your fucking wedding right you got to make sure you when you get older you still think you're the main character and you're not the main character you guys this is your fucking wedding right you got to make sure you're you have a great time at this wedding I mean this is not a situation I mean to find that out I

please call back with the full story of how you found out yeah we want to know how she'll come back on we'll get more busy grill Come do a live show we'll get her on the horn People call in and we talk to them directly I want to know how your mother-in-law told you she fucked your dad Probably in a fucked up those like drunk old bitch ways or say oh I had your father Just imagining like Lucille blue Martini. Your father was a generous lover.

What? I said it. His cunnilingus was remarkable. Oh Jesus Christ. That's where your husband used to live. Now part of me on this house, your dad and husband both enjoyed my womb. My pussy. Part of me is a little nerd.

Like part of me wants to say like, this is like, you know, you don't even want to cut. It's like defusing a bomb. Yeah, you're better off just not even doing it But I think this woman's wild. I think she's enough of a wild card where it's like It's not a let sleeping dogs lie cuz this dogs been stirring in his sleep Don't bark if it was totally sleeping I'd be there if she said that one comment and never brought it up again But if she's constantly making little jabs zings in front of the family and the fucking dad doesn't know his dad doesn't know

I'm a cucking her own husband. She's like, yeah, that's right. I'd be crazy like fuck your dad Hey stop being so rude to mark And she's like fuck you keep saying you want to fuck her I know we're divorced now so I can bring this out of the open The fuck is wrong with you? Janet you crazy slut The fuck is wrong with you? But yeah, I think you have to go in you have to you have to tag team it with your husband with your fiancé He he should take the lead you're there more to just kind of not make it feel like because the other thing is you don't want to sit this woman

down and kind of make her feel like she's having an ultimatum because she's going to act out like the dumb bitch she is. Like, oh, you don't want me to do it? Well, watch this. Well, then I'm going to set your house on fire. And that's when you crack her in the fucking face. And then you look at your son and you go clean up your mom.

I'm going to go make dinner. Looks like somebody just checked into the Alzheimer's facility. Sorry, mommy. Mother, can I help you off the ground? So there'll be a lot more of that. Yeah. You fucking slut. Or we don't know.

Sucking dick in the fucking vault. We don't know the dad is actually the villain. hey you want to know me you want to hear an impression of your mother-in-law oh boy did I make deposits in that bank? He goes, my God, I guess you kept it in savings. Never cash that check. Anyways, do you want that cake or do you want that cake? I'm paying for it. Funfetti or what do you do?

A mix? I think we should do a strawberry. So yeah, there you go. Good luck. This lady's insane you're This is one of those calls that if it were done poorly would be clearly fake But you hear it in her voice that this is fucking real and and anyway good luck Let us know how the wedding went truly, please. Let it leave us a fucking message. Beautiful. Have a beautiful day everybody out there. Have a wonderful day Going in oh yeah

Everybody to the wedding should be beautiful at the penthouse pet you go fuck that nice little guy The girl whose roommate keeps pissing hose him down the next time he pisses on your shit his factory I forget who else we have busy girl waiting the fact that we've even done ten extra minutes is kind of crazy so thanks guys Dan thank you anything you want we should have plugged it earlier and so do that my podcast Dan soda calm I am on the road doing a big tour at the end of the year probably by the time this comes out I have a name for it but But first big theater tour. Alright, well we'll put you later in this batch. It's closer to when it comes out.

DanSodder.com You know what? Do this. Be like, yeah, go see DeSodder on the tour. Go see me on my tour. DanSodder.com. Go buy tickets and I'll see you in the fall. Yeah, literally tell us when you put the put the tickets out of you have a date. We'll put it that week because we're going through May. I love it. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks, guys. We love you and we will talk to you soon. Bye bye.