Stavvy's World - #125 - Mark Normand

Episode Date: April 21, 2025

Dear friend of the show Mark Normand returns to the pod to discuss being a dad, why having a baby is like being JLo’s assistant, getting bullied as a child, Biden's new entertainment career, phone FOMO, Kevin Hart, clones, and much more. Mark and Stav help callers including a woman who is disillusioned after learning that the artist-professor that she works for is having an affair, and a fit guy who wants to help his wife feel more secure in her post-pregnancy body. Follow Mark Normand: https://marknormandcomedy.com/ https://www.facebook.com/Mark-Normand-21895626989 http://twitter.com/marknorm https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/ Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off Chubbies with the code STAVVYSWORLD at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/ Grow your business right now at Shopify -- no matter what stage you're in. Sign up for a  $1/month trial at https://www.shopify.com/stavvy Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com! https://www.booking.com/  🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Folks, we have an incredible episode. One of my favorites, Mark Norman, coming up right now. But first, I want to let you know that I am coming to a city near you if you live in these specific towns. Indianapolis, Nashville, Louisville, Charlotte, Raleigh. Still tickets available, coming this week. We've been on tour for a month and a half,

and we just thought to start plugging my dates on my podcast. So please come. Still some tickets available. The tour's been great. The hour's very fun. And now, without further ado, let's kick it to our buddy, Mark Normand. Hoppa!

Welcome everybody to Stuffy's World. 904-800, stop, call in, we'll solve all your problems. We have on the couch, new father, Mark Normand in the building. How's it feel, bro? It feels weird. He's not mine. It's Matt Reif. He came out doing crowd work. He had a headset. He came out with a Janet Jackson mic? Yeah. He asked the nurse how long you've been together.

What do you do for a living? No, no. it's going great. It's cute. It's gay. It's a little nugget. It's exciting. I'm on no sleep. I want to throw it out the window, but it's exciting. Yeah, that's what you, we were talking, we did a benefit, that fire benefit,

right before your kid was going to get born. Yeah. And that was May, your wife, and my, so my brother also had a kid. They went to the hospital the same day. Yeah. And our little guy took a little longer to get, to pop out. Oh yeah. But they're within, you know, your son and my nephew got, they could do joint birthday parties, man. They're like a day apart, you know, which is pretty fun. Yeah, my brother and me are two years apart. My parents are so cheap, they're like, we'll do a joint.

Two year joint. We did have a friend growing up, the mysterious and elusive Big P, who like, it's just so funny when you can tell how much certain parents care about one sibling more than the other. We had a friend who, his brother was born in June or July, I think June, and he was born in August.

So it's like... Summer. Summer, right, it's like same season. But it wasn't like let's meet in the middle, it was like when the June guy's birthday was, like on the day, they're like, hey, it's both their birthday parties. And I remember going and being,

and his brother, fuckin' loser, dude. You know what I mean? You know how it is, but if you're friends with a younger brother, you're like, you're older brother's a piece, so growing up, he was our enemy because he was my friend's enemy. And we go to his, I'm going, I'm like,

first of all, my mom's like, you wanna go to his birthday party? I was like, I mean, not really. You know what to go to you know his birthday party. I mean not really Really, but whatever I guess they'll be fucking Pizza Hut there Yeah, whatever and then and then I get there and just fully being like I'm like eight or something just pumped to be like This party sucks, but I'm hanging out with my boy. You know yeah, and I just go to my friend And he's just like so bummed out. And I'm like, what's up man? He was like, this is my birthday party too.

And I was like, what? Like I remember being a little kid and being pissed off at the injustice of it. Right, right. Because it was like, you were probably at that one too. They had the above ground pool. I don't know if I was. I don't know.

I don't know if you had, if you had, that's right. I keep forgetting. You guys have known each other that long Yeah Adorable enemies and pre-k yeah enemies and pre-k we got it together in kindergarten Well, I was I was a enemy. I was just a hapless immigrant It was you didn't even know that I had ire coming from it. It wasn't just me, the whole greek community was against this influx of Albanians. Fuck you!

Albanians are fucking dirty. Let's be honest, you guys smell weird, you steal bread. Hey come on. His community abandoned him. What happened is he had another Albanian best friend in pre-k. Then that kid moved and Elders had to fend for himself and we absorbed him into our friend group in kindergarten. Wow, such specific hate.

He's Albanian, he's Greek. When I was young, it was white and black. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no. We had very specific Eastern European, you know, blood feuds going. That's great. And in fact, the reason you probably weren't at that that party because this particular family literally didn't like Albanians We've talked about it too much, but he was he had he was like banned from a friend's house because he was out That's crazy. That was the first moment. I was like wait what I was like

And I was like confused as a kid because I was like well I mean, it's what I, it literally taught me ironic racism. Sure. Because I remember thinking that was so stupid that only like a moron would think that like my friend couldn't come into his house. Of course.

Because you're just a little kid who's like, what do you even mean? Right. We're all friends. Why does he, why do we have to go sneak him a Kool-Aid jammer? I literally would go in the house to get two Kool-Aids and come out and we would drink them on the like, in the fucking backyard.

He was right in the backyard, but not in the house. That's crazy. It was so crazy, it made you cognizant of ethnic injustice. It made me cognizant of racism and how fucked up it was at like four years old. no legitimately seven like seven is when we started having these thoughts You're like a little JFK. Yeah Adorable eventually they caved slowly, but surely I love them. They love me They've now he's been fully accepted and yeah, he was probably the person who taught him that racism is wrong

It's like the shittiest Lifetime movie. It's like the shittiest like schmaltzy Hollywood movie. Yeah, it's just oh I guess this is just but the moral is Albanians can be civilized But anyway, yeah the key to that solving that kind of racism is bringing a darker group And then you're like no no we got to stick together That's why Europe's fascinating is because they're so they're racist against each other and if you were to just like look yeah What do you mean like the Yugoslavian Civil War is? crazy, it's Serbians versus fucking like I don't even know where the word of the rest of those little countries

But it's like none of us whatever and they all were like you see them It's like Vladivac Luka Donchit those guys are technically from different places You know what I mean? Like just big Serbs. Yeah. Yeah technically from different places you know what I mean like just big Serbs yeah yeah but I mean I'm sure it was it was probably it had to be religious right Muslims Christians that had to be I mean it's the same with Ireland Ireland has a split in the middle with the religion right and you're like you guys are both ugly and drunk and ginger get along well one side was sucking on the British's dick oh is that what it was the other side was like blowing up the fucking they they killed a couple like British pedophiles pretty good

We're pro IRA around here Lizzie's in a box. You know what I'm saying? I made a mistake did a vicar Street you ever done on Dublin no man the great comedy crowds in Ireland But I've made the mistake of bringing up the division And it just like ruin the whole it ruined the whole show cuz half the crowd was yelling the other half was yelling at them Oh, really? Oh my god You just saw red hair going crazy And that was it was like 20 minutes in Good to know yeah, I definitely would have done that I'm trying I'm thinking about I want to go to Greece this summer

And I think I want to tag on Ireland because you know I read London Amsterdam do a couple I really want to work this hour everywhere hell But I didn't realize that it was still still like that. I don't heavy. Yeah, it's still there. Yeah, so be careful Don't bring it up, but great people yeah Yeah, I love that shit but uh... anyway we were the other two nights will change it off of birthdays they will what's another one the uh... what's the hotel rwanda the who is in the poop who's whatever it is a little bit of these yeah they're

all black but it's just that's right people can find a way people find a way man people find a way We don't have to you know Tell Rwanda. I just watched the movie Eldest Google's Hotel Rwanda Not Rwandan Civil War the fucking movie about it Genocide really yeah, I mean we're doing it we got a Republican Democrat going on now like it's we're all we all just find a way to hate each other It doesn't even have to be color race or no gender. No death right now. Well gender definitely gender is classic That's a class never going away even when it seems like things are good. It's like oh, no

We're still treating women bad, right? There's never There's like it's like we were kind of getting there I think and then it's like now who's to say it's getting kind of dicey again. Well now it's weird because it's like state by state we're talking abortion you know it's like abortions are like weed you can do it here but you can't do it here it's so weird we got to come together on this. It is fucking nuts that it's just like oh great now I have to drive eight hours.

Yeah it's just like, oh great, now I have to drive eight hours. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, I mean, whatever, we should get, let's bores the gals up, you know what I mean? You should be able to suck whatever you want out of your pussy with a vacuum cleaner as far as I'm concerned. Well until you pay, like I've paid, have you paid for one? Ah, we can't, you know, Mark, we don't gotta get into specifics here. I know, you know, you knocked up Elvis's sister here. He can't have an Albanian kid. Philosophically, I would not be opposed

to paying for one. Well, once you pay for one, you're like, we need this. This chick sucks. I'm broke. I can't hang out with her anymore. Well, that's the other thing is that so many of the people who want to ban abortions, if their daughter got pregnant Right! Are flying her to fuck in wherever the fuck

Exactly And you can't tell me Look at me, all these people think we should ban abortions think Trump is the man How many you think he's got under his belt? Oh! I mean that's one of the most classic abortion paying guys of all time You know what I mean? Like that's the archetype of the guy

Yes Like he nutted inside of Stormy Daniels I know Who else do you like he nutted inside of Stormy Daniels I know who else do you think he nutted inside of really fast of course like you're not there's no way he's there's no he was a big condoms guy no I have a golden vacuum yeah we should get you know whatever borscht the gals up man do whatever the fuck you I mean I have a joke about it, but it's like You know I'm working on a bit now, but I'm just like I really don't even think even you boy You shouldn't killing you born, baby. You hold a newborn what a take

You holding you born you look at that thing you're like this is a per. That's not even your fucking son right now It's like that's not a human. It's half It doesn't even open its eyes Can't do shit. I don't even want to put like I want to protect my nephew your so whatever because I know yes You know I mean and especially because biologically. It's like You've been trained to but it's like this. It's like a teddy. It's like a stuffed animal. It's like a bag of flour Crazy is by a lot. This is how fucked up men are yeah, the baby comes out looking like the man So you don't leave you're less likely to leave that's a true thing

That's why I'm like adopted parents are heroes if I was adopted it didn't look like me adopted parents are heroes if I was adopted it didn't look like me that's going right in the dumpster like one cry one shit gone you're going in the incinerator you fucking queen yeah no I totally believe that like some like caveman the whole point is you gotta be sure it's your DNA yes it's not about love it's not about nurturing a fucking a soul. It's about making sure your DNA lives on who gives a fuck by the narcissism It's crazy, but it's crazy that we that that is that I mean it just be it's just like that's who ended up That's just DNA gets around is the fucking Monkeys or whatever the fuck that wanted that cared about legacy, right? It's your monkeys that were like hey, hey, it's mine, it's not,

well, I'll love it either way. They got cucked to oblivion. They got fucked out of existence. But it is funny, it's like, who gives a fuck about your DNA living on? It's like, it should be the same thing. It should be the bonds you form with whoever, whatever little lump of shit over time as it grows over time.

But yeah, there is just something in your head that can't... Yeah, and you can't fuck with biology. I know it's a hack thing, but you give the baby to the woman and the baby's happier, she knows what to do exactly. It's feeding off her tits right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm very interchangeable. Totally.

I just bring money in and eat her out. Yeah, yeah. You know, anybody can do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that is the... It is interesting that babies don't even conceive of themselves as not part of their mother. Yes! Until like they're a year old or some shit.

Totally. Like to them, they are their mom. Right, right. They're a piece of their mom. And you swaddle it because it's like oh back in the stomach Yeah, yeah, it's pretty wild that is fucking nuts the last days of being a fucking baby must be crazy I know kind of kind of Understand what's going on as much as a baby can right you're you are inside of a fucking human being yeah

Then you come out of a vaginal you get slapped and there's fluorescent lights Yeah, the whole thing sucks, and they can't see shit either. That's the other don't look at a newborn They can only see black and white right they can't see they're like racist No nuance yeah, four-day-old baby does not understand the nuances around the edges It is crazy to that it's like 2025 and we still do the nine months live in the stuff that feels so primitive like we have hair transplants and LASIK and like Ozembic but we still have to do like this when it comes to birth we were still Amish at the end of the day it's crazy we haven't figured that we got uber eats yeah we still do this primitive caveman baby belly thing you should be able to like you nut inside

you should first of all I am a marvel of science I've said it before I I'm in vitro. I'm a I'm a test tube. Oh, is that right? So we've gotten to the point where you can get get it started But we have to put like I was at some point in a little fucking test tube Wow, they put jizz in an egg and that was me yeah, and then they had to put it back into my mom So it's like we've gotten to the point where we can fertilize the thing. A woman has to grow it. Exactly. You'd think we'd be able to get a little fucking like, you know, a little get a little grow light, get a little.

You know what I mean? There's got to be a tank. Actually, we should. This is we're just talking about growing humans and vats. Yeah. And that's what's going to happen. We're saying, you know, rich people are just gonna be able to get whatever organ they, like, instead of a shoulder replacement, it's like, instead of putting metal in it,

they're just like, they would just have clones of you ready to go. It's a 3D printer for babies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks for the kidney. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. See you in hell, Eldest.

Eldest, too. The sequel's always worse. Eldis kills five of his clones to stitch together one penis. That would be a nice way to get a bigger dick. Little meat in the middle of your own dick. What are you doing today? I'm growing a dick. I can't hang out.

It's springtime folks. You know what time that is? Sit on a deck and have a nice little beverage weather. And there's no beverage I like to have more on a deck on a sunny day than a twisted MF&T. That's right. My year of sobriety is over and I'm sucking down twisted teas like you wouldn't believe. They're delicious, they're brewed with real iced tea. They go down smooth, 5% alcohol by volume,

got different flavors, I'm a raspberry guy, I'm a peach guy, what can I say, I like a little extra sugar in my drink, baby. If you wanna be like me, a fun hunter that's out there looking to have a good time on a it doesn't even have to be a weekend. Hey, call out of work. Drink a twisted tea on your porch.

That's what I'm telling you to do. The advice of Star Wars Huggies is not legal. You don't have to don't fucking listen to what the fuck I say. Just fucking have a twisted tea. You fucking piece of shit. That's a that was a quick little, our lawyer stepped in and told that one. So have a Twisted Tea, it's springtime,

it's coming into summertime. I know you like Twisted Teas, don't you, Mark? Yeah, you heard it from us folks, from me and Mark. If you wanna be like us, crack open a a delicious twisted tea and remember, keep it twisted. I know you mean it. And it's also pretty, you think about how scary it is now and how much it can go wrong now. It's crazy that anyone was born until a hundred years ago.

I know. It's like the middle ages, like a wolf could come up and steal your kids or bandits or cold weather, whatever. Yeah, just something could go wrong. Like, C-sections, I mean, I think they did, I mean, they're named after fucking Caesar, but there's no way they were as fucking foolproof as they are now. Of course, of course. A lot of women died too. Yeah, and women died constantly in childbirth. It is just, it is, fuck, I wonder humans naturally what are rate although I guess I guess this happens in animals too it's like

animals will routinely have a litter of duds and just be like oh that's true guess I got to eat these yeah fucking cream pie to getting you one going well speaking of cloning and the 3d printer I mean that's kind of what the old folks did back in the day they're like we need nine kids because we got a farm. We're gonna die. Yeah, I'll fuck one. Yeah the hottest one Either me or I'll trade it to the mayor First dibs on a choice lot right at the farmers market Right, exactly. Yeah, I gotta grow wheat. Yeah.

No, you're right. It was like, I guess part... And yeah, you would just factor in that some of them just died. Yeah, I have it all the time. And I guess, if that happens to you all the time, loss can't fuck you up as much, right? True. You have to be like numb to it. A little more numb for sure. You know what I mean? Where it's like, if you live in a...

Now, like, there's a lot more tra... I I mean it's like if you live in a now like there's a lot more track I mean there then there was more tragedies like life was just a tragedy yeah so it's like I guess you get why people were so fucking abusive maybe maybe that's not right maybe like they were all abusive they all fucking hit each other yeah there was just more ugliness I think way more ugliness but everything went away too because like you did something horrible and people just kind of ate it they weren't like let me tweet about this right right right they they just dealt with it yeah and so I think people were a lot stronger back then you

either let it destroy you or you fucking you know committed a murder or murder secretly right right that you know you guys if you could get revenge and then just if you lived in like Tulsa you could move to like you guys if you could get revenge and then just if you lived in like Tulsa You could move to like you know yes, you can move to fucking Kansas City exactly like my name is actually Jack Swanson yeah, I don't know anything about the guy who killed his whole family in Tulsa. Yeah, they would yeah It's just like you you would move like what today is like a drive. Right. Like you would just fucking get a horse together. Yeah. Ride it for five hours and be like. Ted Bundy killed a lady in Utah,

took a bus to Florida and he was just like a furniture salesman or something. He was just living a new life, then he killed a bunch of women there, then he moved to like DC or whatever. Fucking wild. Yeah, it was easy back then. Yeah, God damn.

I do think we've gone too far. Like, you know obviously that those times are horrible and then beat the wife days and kill your kid days now we're okay on Yelp you know now we're like the restaurant was drafting right right gone too far too much salt you I have probably been sadder about an over so like I ruined some crap I made some crab cakes a couple weeks ago okay and I instead of the little like you know instead of the right, on the salt pour, the big flap opens. The flat one, yeah.

The big flap open and in my hubris I thought, it hasn't ruined the crab cakes, I'll make them anyway. Take a bite of the crab cake, salty. And by the way, you know what sucks? I nailed all the consist, and I did healthy, right? Yeah. There was no mayo, there was no breadcrumbs. I nailed all the consist... and I did healthy, right? Yeah. There was no mayo, there was no breadcrumbs. I did it with eggs and a little bit of panko.

And I got it to go just right. The consistency tasted like a real crab cake. The salty... but I nailed everything but the salt. Yeah. And it was like a healthy meal that felt like a treat. Yep. I probably was more annoyed that day. Exactly.

Than like a guy who lost his wife in a fire in 1840. Exactly. Yeah, you're right dude, you're right. We have gone too far with like what is considered a tragedy. Yeah, I love you sticking to the roots though. Baltimore crab cake guy. Yeah, I love crab. That's great. Well, I'm trying to eat healthy. I'm trying to get ready for this tour. Crab meat, incredible macros. Love crab meat. It's very expensive, that's the one thing about being rich, I get to just do shit like, it's like a little tub that in the, back in the day, it's like.

It's like $19 or something. No, it's like more, dude. It's like fuckin' 25, yeah, 30 bucks, whatever. And I'll just fuckin' smash a third of that a day. Woo, that's so good. It's so good. You can eat it with a fork. Yeah, you can eat it with a fork. Very, you know the fork a very high protein very low calorie

I'm trying to keep my protein up about to hit the fucking well We're on the road with this this is record a little ahead of time folks We're in the midst of the dreamboat tour now come see me. Hopefully I haven't fallen off the wagon Hopefully eldest isn't Shaking me awake in my bunk. There's a bunch of fucking Snickers rapper Like it in around me Pass you a weed pen at 745 in the morning after we had a speed bump You need your rest

You need your rest the the people this half-filled theater in Bakersfield isn't gonna entertain itself Yeah, I don't know why I might just put Bakersfield. I cannot sell a fucking ticket to sell my life. If you're some of the white trash that lives in Bakersfield, come on out we're gonna raffle off one of those Cookie Monster hats and a month's worth supply of white monster. That's how we're gonna get the people of Bakersfield out there. Free corn CDs for everyone who buys a ticket to Bakersfield. Free orange crocs. The wrong town burned. But yeah, no, but I do like, you know, I keep it I there is a soft spot I feel like the older you know, the general hypothesis I have is like when you're young you want to get as far away as possible

from where you came from and then This is the beginning. I mean look I'm not dying, but this is the beginning of no realizing You did what you could Right. Can't what am I gonna fucking like, try and become better forever? I did better than anyone in my family ever has. I like Baltimore enough, I'm not gonna, I like New York too, but so it's like, I'm kinda returning to my roots a little bit

where it's like, go back to Baltimore a little bit, make a crab cake. You know what I mean? My family's there. I used to have this this fantasy of moving My whole family to New York. That's never gonna know a little buffer is good. I was here Yeah, also talk about how well you're doing for a test tube, baby I love the idea of you at a test. You're like a tiny Hawaiian shirt

glasses just mash into it Doctor we couldn't have gotten a bigger test tube. Oh, they're stubborn. Louise Brown, some British bitch, was the first one in 1978, apparently. According to Eldis. Wow, that's bullshit. I grew up with another test tube baby who claimed he was the first batch. And that was ten years after this lady.

Your story is getting thinner and thinner, man. I thought I was in the second batch in America. Well, maybe I was in America, actually. But no, if the fucking British could do it, we could fucking do it. Hell, yeah. Fuck you, you limey pricks. Yeah. So yeah, so you're really in the throes of it.

But what about the like, you know, the crushing pressure of another human life, depending on you? It's hard, man. It's hard. It's scary. For you, of all people, of all the people in my life I know,

I'm like, they're not built for that. No. But hey, look, this is how I agree, but my thing is crackheads and retards have kids. So that's a good thing. That keeps it going through the day. Nice baseline. Yeah.

Nice baseline. The hardest part of it, you know, the shitting, the screaming, the no sleep, but the hardest part is waking up in the morning. Cause you get like, oh, I got a couple hours sleep. I feel pretty good. And then wha! And you're like, oh, we're doing this all again.

Oh my God, it's Groundhog Day. You know when you just like want wanna lay there for 30 more minutes, look at a couple more winks, that shit's over and you're just back in boot camp. It's like living with a celebrity. I'm like J.Lo's assistant. She's cranky, she wants to eat, I gotta get the right outfit, is she cold?

So it's fucking hard, but boy, when that thing's sleeping on your chest with his butt, you patting it, you can hear his little snorting, it's fucking hard, but boy when that thing's sleeping on your chest with his that's not your patin it as you can hear his Little snorting that's nice pretty fucking great. Okay, so that part is nice But yeah, just that you know what you know We're walking down the street me and the wife with the stroller and you see younger people walk by you and they kind of have That like ooh sucks for this guy. I remember being that douche

Oh, I got the bottle down here. I got the Pampers over here. And we went to a brewery, had a couple drinks at the beer garden, but then there's like, young people screaming, we're like, we gotta go, it's too loud, and you're that guy now. I'm looking for schools, which sucks that I'm not allowed near them. It's hard, but it's a shift.

Yeah, I mean, but that is good. I mean, you should be that guy. Sure. Because what are the alternatives? Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? That's the thing that's the crushing reality that I'm faced with now, where I'm like, you know,

I mean, I like, obviously being an uncle is not anywhere near being a dad. Right, right. But it is the thing, it's the first time I've ever been like, oh, this is a new person, because like life, I'm gonna be, it's almost like, I used to be like, fuck global warming, I'm not having fucking kids.

And then you realize, well, people you care about will be on Earth. You know what I mean? Like, I had this stupid thought of like, if I don't have kids, like, it just ends with me. When in reality, it's like, there's so many people younger than you and there's so much yeah I want to help out and like this is like a baby whose life I'm gonna like

you know help mold or whatever and then I'm like all right uncle's cool but then just thinking about being a guy who just is perpetually single exactly especially in entertainment you see it you oh You can pretend yeah, yeah check out the roast of anyone You're so true and people think your life is over but like look bill burr is thriving and Chris Rock has couple kids But that's what it's like. It's not only that it's not over to like this is sort of what it's a This is part of it right like. It's not only that it's not over to like this is sort of what it's a. Yeah. This is part of it, right? Like we liked one part of life. I mean, both me and you were like a great time.

We had a great 20s through that and that 20, 20 to 40 tons of awesome tons of drugs traveling. Yeah. Yeah. Success with shows and audiences and TV, whatever. But you can't keep that going for like now. It's also the realization that you can't keep that going forever. No. It's also the realization that you can't keep that going forever.

And then it's like, well, what are the? Then it's like, you shouldn't want to. And then it's like, being a part of the next generation should be what that next 20 years is. Right. 40 to 60 is like, you can be an active shepherding in a next. Well, whoever comes next, help them out.

And then 60 to 70, the little twilight You know shepherding in a net so whoever comes next help them out. Yeah, and then you know 60 60 60 to 70 the little twilight of being a useful 70 to 80 like unless you're dick van dyke who still tap dancing it fucking a hundred and two years old true Yeah, like it's you know, then you're fucking all this shit then then my plan is to you know Really just be fat as shit like if you think I'm fat now I'm gonna have one awesome year of my 70s Just fat as shit in a rocking chair right whittling eating all the apple pie. I want I mean you just eat like Trump Yeah, get McDonald's every night and on taco salads Trump really is like an example because he didn't drink. He doesn't drink

That's true. He really is an example of like damn Maybe I shouldn't drink. I know because he's the least healthy looking like he looks like shit and like yeah what it's the worst thing happened to Trump is that Biden he doesn't he can't compare himself to Biden anymore right he seems fucking senile as shit who are you talking about Trump now without the like Joe Biden was like the nicest comparison point for anyone losing their mind. Look, I'm not this guy. And it's like, OK, well, he's, you know, somewhere in Delaware eating fucking Breyers

vanilla ice cream. Oh, yeah. And being told it's 1968. Yeah. You know, so you can't compare yourself to him anymore. It's like he looks his mind is definitely going, but it's like the fact that he's still even kicking it all. I know. Like all the McDonald's.

I know. It's crazy. But he did. You don't think I'm making Gaza the Middle Eastern Riviera is a great idea. Oh, my God. I mean, it's riffing now. He's just saying he's so clearly just riffing and he's doing whatever it takes to get his... He likes, I think he likes to be very, he likes being popular, he knows his base. Like, I don't even think, again the way it's like he paid for, he definitely paid for abortion, it's like, does Trump even hate trans people?

Probably not! He probably has gone to like drag shows and shit like that. Oh, he's from New York. He's in New York, he's a Queens New York guy. Right. He's definitely racist, he's definitely, he is homophobic drag shows and shit like oh, you know he's in New York. He's a Queens, New York guy He's definitely racist. He's definitely he is homophobic don't get me wrong, but he doesn't he's he's more open-minded Because he's a New York guy sure I think all this shit is just like Especially abortion stuff. It's like he was he was a mainstream corporate Democrat right for years Right, and then he was just like you know he's pro sex work. Yeah

Right for years right and then he was just like you know he's pro sex work. Yeah He puts his money where his mouth is on that one is this a crazy statement has they were made this first blonde president Give that a go I'm just saying that's a good point. No one has really brought that up Are there other I'm sure there were back in the day, but we don't have pictures of yeah, maybe you're right This let's figure this out though. Oh Andrew Jackson apparently was blonde. Okay okay. And he was a fucking maniac. He was a wild dude. Yeah oh yeah. We got some sandy hair. Alright alright I take it back. Strawberry blonde though. I don't see any pure blondes. I mean Trump is clearly like dark blonde. Yeah that's true. Died blonde. Oh okay. Oh but he was bald. He's the only bald guy we have.

Yeah we only know pictures of all these guys from like late late true. Sure. Yeah, like George even George watch How Andrew Jack? Johnson yeah Probably had some blonde Andrew Jackson you mean oh, yeah, Andrew Johnson was after What just face got assassinated Lincoln hmm? uh... which is this guy says that lincoln uh... bomb and state don't follow me a p u s history bro sorry this is your got a five on that exam speed of buying easy to get picked up by c a a

hilarious what's that about just die you piece of shit hopefully gonna be in a movie i don't get it is probably pretty probably is some like horrific like dot self- documentary. Oh, yeah But yeah, it's like I mean it's not as embarrassing as fucking Obama making a production company when he left office Oh, and he made that Julia Roberts movie. Oh, so embarrassing. Do you guys see later daters? It's like a Netflix dating show for older people like produced by Michelle Obama. It's actually pretty awesome So they probably are. Damn dude.

They really are divorced, huh? They are secretly divorced. Michelle's, Michelle's getting her cock pipeline set up on Netflix. She's going to be the real housewives of fucking Washington, DC. That would be a great show. Melania and Michelle.

Ooh, that would be good. Hillary. Oh, dude. Hillary, Melania, Michelle. Oh, dude. That's a great idea Melania and and Michelle Hillary Fuck we just wrote a really shitty sketch. That's a great sketch. We just we just wrote fucking um gold mad tv He's still around Let's reboot mad tv for this one

It would actually be funny if mad tv did it Uh, it is funny that biden went hollywood because he was almost replaced by a black woman He's like the new mermaid He's the mermaid You should say he got cancelled If Biden came out and said he got cancelled and that wokeness made him choose a black woman He would be fucking Trump's VP tomorrow They'd be like They kicked me out because they're woke

That's pretty good It's not dude You just have to fucking mumble and sound like you're in pain. Fellas, April's here, but this ain't no time for fooling, baby. It's time to let those thighs breathe. Get the gams out. Show off your calves. Show off your musculature. You've been doing squats all winter, show them off with Chubbies beautiful shorts.

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at chubbieshorts.com. That's code STAVVYSWORLD at chubbieshorts.com. Support our show and tell them we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubbies Yeah, I mean are you thinking about like are you just is it just day at a time when you have a newborn? But it's like how far ahead Do you have like you know it doesn't seem like you're the type of guy who wants his son to be a fucking the quarterback No, you have any thoughts about like have you when you daydream about what having a kid, because you must be, you can't help it almost.

Yeah, of course. You have a baby, you start thinking about what's this kid going to be like. Yeah. Have you had any like of those initial? Oh yeah, I want him to be a nerd, I want him to be like a book kid, we're doing no phones, we're doing all that. We'll see how long that lasts. I know, I know.

And he's growing up in Brooklyn, so he's going to have a lot of diverse friends and see the world and all these resources. So yeah, hoping for the best, but right now it's day at a time, so he's gonna have a lot of diverse friends and see the world and all these resources So yeah hoping for the best, but right now it's day at a time. It's all scheduling I got a pod then I got a show and she's got a pod and she's got a friend thing or whatever So that's that's where we're at now. Oh this fucking guy's gonna be gripping an iPad so you can do a spot. Yeah He's gonna be fucking eating a eating fucking tahini at the fucking olive tree. Here's two girls, one cup, just hang here. I gotta come do a new bit.

Yeah, give him rice. You just go to the waitress at the fucking cellar like, just give him a little rice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep an eye on him. They could start having daycare there. Oh, that's a good point. You know, upstairs where the studio used to be? Yeah, that's true good point. You know, upstairs where the studio used to be. Yeah, that's true.

Where the WD Studio used to be. They do a baby podcast. You and Joe's son should just start fucking, you know, Tuesdays with stories babies. The way they had Muppet babies. Just set those little cocksuckers up there. They got Chris D's kids, we got all the Greers. It's like 74 kids.

Yeah, that's not bad. Half of them are the waitresses. Two birds. True. Yeah, why, yeah, childcare, let's get it going. That's not bad. Oh, nice. A little, nice little nerd, huh? Stay out of trouble, keep his nose clean. Yeah, exactly. I want like a nerdy introverted book kid like insects Were you did you have like any fascinations when you were a little ass kid well I was obsessed with skateboarding but before that it was all movies I was just like it's such a movie nut really even as a little kid. Oh, yeah superheroes to superheroes and movies

I loved I built I made my own a utility belt There's a weird popper thing pop on the sidewalk I had a cape Yeah, you know that the cape one time I got pushed off my bike when I was a kid I got my bike stolen and I had face paint of like superheroes on my cheeks like a Batman symbol and a Superman symbol and a cape. Oh no! And I was like 31. And these three kids like roughed me up and took my bike and I ran home crying and I saw

the face paint and it made it so much worse. I mean to steal the bike of a kid in a cape is fucking hilarious. It's brutal dude it was brutal so embarrassing running home the capes flapping the super ranch is running from the tears emasculated man but talk about a mark you know talking about like a fucking perfect yeah I mean dude to Licking their chops. They see you come out there on that huffy. Exactly. Exactly. The huffy flapping in the wind. Halt! This is my butt!

Halt, evildoers! Super Marks! Exactly. I could break my fucking slingshot in front of me. Did you ever try to be a vigilante? I tried. I went outside for 10 minutes. I heard one guy yell and I ran inside. Oh man. Did you ever run away from home? I did that.

I lasted about 8 minutes. I never did. I think I went as far as packing the little kid bag. Oh yeah. Where it's like, you know. Cookies. Yeah, graham crackers. Yeah, a baseball card. Yeah graham crackers a baseball card

Yeah, a Nintendo 64 cartridge that you can't put anywhere Well when I get when I get settled down, they'll have a I have an N64 wherever I lay my head Kids think he's great then you go you get diddled once You did you I would you do you I don't know. Did you, what did you do? Was it after a fight or something? Totally. Big fight with the folks over some bullshit and then I packed a bag and I went outside.

I lived in a pretty rough neighborhood so it was just like, you heard glass break, you heard a baby crying, you're like come out as a stray dog. You just walked a little bit basically and came back. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I love the videos of a baby like, of parents clearly calling a baby's bluff no okay I guess you I guess you running away there all right see ya yeah they get out to the stairs and start crying yeah you ever watch those Jimmy Kimmel candy videos back in the day no

oh man they're so dark it's like Halloween the next day. Oh yes, I have seen those. And they go, oh we ate it all. And the kids are like, what the fuck? Oh my god. It's like you with a crab cake salt. Yeah. You betray, yeah it's literally, I have seen those videos.

And it is weird because it is like you're betraying the trust of your children Yes, get on television exactly. It's pretty gross. What's the point of this man? I know or even like okay Do it even mess with your kid sure like I ate all your candy even get him worked up and then be like here you go Buddy, yeah, these kids are looking at staring down the barrel of a camera I know and there's just you can't help but learn the lesson that like, A, your parents are manipulating you for clicks, for whatever. But also that like, doing that is good or it has value. Right, right.

You're teaching a kid that like, showing intense emotion or tricking someone else or betraying a loved one on camera has inherent value and that's so fucked up to do. And then you wonder why they go on OnlyFans in 10 years. Yeah exactly. Oh I thought cameras were everything. That's good at all. I would rather do that rather my fucking kid. I'd rather you know my nephew be on OnlyFans make himself a nice buck.

Buy us a house. Yeah. Only fans make a make himself a nice buck buy us a house. Yeah No, that is it is fun. It is hilarious to that would that shit was so weird But I will say that is one thing with with the baby. It's like, you know, my brother obviously is Obsessed with taking pictures kid. You can't help it. It's like your fucking baby Sure, sure take picture, but it's like this little motherfucker is looking at the camera. I know he's posing Yeah, he's like seven months seven days old. Oh, and he's got like a nice like he knows he knows got like a blue steel Yeah, he's truly like he's like he's I mean come on. There's no way he knows I he doesn't mean like he doesn't know because you know anything sure, but it's like that

I am a little worried about the like a bit Cuz it's like look whatever. He's so he's brand new. He doesn't know shit but like you know I have friends who have a two-year-old and this fucking guy like Yeah They all know they all know they all like are very cognizant how they look on camera Well where you add on the public figure cuz like look if some rando wants to show their family on Instagram, I get it. But where you at on like a famous person showing their kids? I don't think you should. I don't think you should either.

Look, it's your kid. But they didn't say yes to that. 100 percent, 100 percent. And also with all these things, the thing I'm always looking at is like, who are the guys who own these things, know it does to people what are they doing and it's like Zuckerberg's never showed his kids face exactly and it's like Zuckerberg by the way doesn't show his kids face won't let him use Facebook well let me it's like what is that come on like how that how clear is this exactly like he bought

like a fucking huge farm he's never never around computers. It's like What do you think? They're poisoning like yes intent in like 20 years if all goes well Zuckerberg is in jail for what he's done to us You know what I mean? These people are all behind bars Shit and for the for now. It's like have some delicious meat that no one has ever It's like pre USDA we're all eating fucking canned meat and getting botulism. Yeah. And it's like, were the fucking rich guys that had those factories ever eating their own thing? No, Chan. I mean, the Sackler family isn't taking fentanyl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean,

that talk about a family should be... Oh, the worst. The worst. The family should be rounded up. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, that's kind of what I, that's the, those are the cues I take. Or like, are the people in charge of this? How are they behaving? And it's like, they won't fuck, they're not doing it. That's a great point. You don't see their fucking kids. So. Steve Jobs wouldn't allow an iPad around his kids. And that's a true thing. It's like, what are we doing here? Yeah, I mean, you meet an iPad kid and you're like, yeah, this is fucked up. You meet it now it now at this point like a 24 year old who was like the first generation of like babies with iPads and shit. Yeah, it's like, you know, it's different. It's it's crazy

It's like they can't be for once like I definitely have My stretches where I cannot where I have to be listening to something or like, you know, you had the joke about your thoughts Oh, you know your headphones because it's like you have to be around to something or like you had the joke about your thoughts. You know, forgetting your headphones because it's like you have to be around your own thoughts. You know, thoughts aren't good. And I definitely get that way, but sometimes I think these kids

do not have an internal monologue. Like I think it goes beyond like they're just escaping it. It's just like they're just fucking constantly plugging something in there. To the point where maybe they just do sort of like, I feel like, I don't know, this generation might just the way like it's scary to think about, you know, having a fucking chip in my head. Yeah.

How many generations are we away from a kid being like, oh, nice. My phone could just be in my head sick. Oh, that's common. Yeah, sure. It's probably pretty serious. People our age or older who probably want that. Yeah, but they're dork try-hards. I mean, kids who just like, the phone is just how they live.

These guys are like, I'm gonna be, they're like that guy who's trying to live forever by, seeing how hard his son's dick gets. They're just pretending they're part, you know, part of the cutting edge, the aficionaries. Whereas I mean like regular motherfuckers that have no concept philosophically of technology. It's just like, it's gone so far beyond that it just seeps into their like, way of thinking. Yes, yes. Well, I mean, if you asked a 19 year old kid now to take a shit without his

phone, he would, he'd be like, hello, you in there? And his wrist would be slit. He could because it's your own thoughts. They can't do it. And also phones are the only invention where I hear people say, I'm glad I grew up before that. So it's like we're obsessed with it.

I can't leave the house without it. But I'm also like, thank God it wasn't around when I was a kid, which is such a weird, we don't do that with penicillin. We're not like, oh, thank God I was born before this which is such a weird, we don't do that with penicillin. You know? When I was like, oh thank God I was born before this life-saving pill. Yeah. Pan-type biotics. Yeah.

I don't know man. I am a technology skeptic obviously, but I use it as much as anyone. I dream of becoming a Luddite. I dream of like no phone. But the FOMO, you're like, what am I missing? Am I gonna sell any tickets? Cause it's really a work thing for us Or for me anyway, that's the way in and then you have to check and then it's like oh nice

A lady with huge tits is on a trampoline. That's true. It's like oh whoa another lady with huge tits Yeah, this was stretching right a big ass burger nice And then for AI Japanese milfs with no left titties I can't do it I can't they I doesn't make my dick hard it pisses me off actually getting good but I still can tell and it's I like a c-section scar I like the you know the cellulite I want a little perfection absolutely a little fucked up tooth yeah you know yes tattoo absolutely the bad tattoos crucial that's hot Crucial if you have good tattoos nothing, but good tattoos, that's crazy. I mean that's doesn't really happen that often

But you got some bullshit. Oh, yeah, I hooked up with a girl She had a horrible bad a wily coyote on the side and you're like you are dumb Hot because it was so dumb. You make mistakes. Absolutely. No, I love dumb tattoos. I love dumb tattoos. I love dumb hair. I like looking stupid. Looking stupid but still looking cool.

It's fun for me. I'm one of those people. I look dumb as shit for most people but it's a beauty. Thank you Congratulations by movie No Weinstein folks My dick is small, but it's not fucked up and shredded or whatever. Oh, yeah Yeah, like early a pig's dick. Yeah, he was he was with a fucking court like a with a corkscrew fucking pig's tail That's fucked up dude to have a mangled cop

It's just and be like yeah, this is how much of a monster I am It's like what is this? It's just purely to destroy someone, you fucking piece of shit. Fuck him. Well apparently Epstein, Hitler, Harvey, yeah they're all fucked up dicks. Oh yeah, Epstein's dick was like a little an egg shape or something. Egg shaped, yeah. That's crazy. That is fucking hilarious.

That multiple people described his dick as egg shaped. Oh yeah. Well yeah, the Hitler thing is that true is his micro dick well I guess we'll never fully know. Well that and a one ball. One ball? He had one ball yeah. Did he get shot off? I think he was born with the defect. Now was it one fat nut or one little nut? I think it was a little nut. Okay because one you know big fat balls not bad. Oh it was undescended that's it was. Undescended, so one of his nuts was still up in his guts. Whoa, you see, that's, you need, it's like Kevin Hart.

You need, like, you have this, I don't wanna say ailment. Hey, the guy's 5'2". Hitler's like Kevin Hart, continue. They both work really hard. Yeah! But, like, Kevin Hart is 5'1", or whatever, so he's like, I gotta push it in work, that's how I overcompensate.

He does have a huge penis though. He does have a huge dog, I heard. But I'm saying he's 4'8 or whatever. Same with Rogan. Rogan's got an empire, he's 4'2 and Hitler's got one ball, Epstein's got an egg dick, you gotta overcompensate. Okay, alright. Interesting. And then you got to overcompensate okay all right interesting so when we're growing our when we're growing our

Our little clones in the vats they got to have nice cocks. Yes. You know they got to be handsome idiots exactly Have little fucked up guys right we can't have a clone Hitler coming back and putting all the non clones Yeah, a non clone Holocaust. We cannot have that. That's good to know. Yeah. All right. You know, and to go a step further, I noticed a lot of famous people were.

So I think maybe I'm not advocating, but I think it does propel you to work harder because you're running from something. I'd like to see the statistics on that. Oprah, Tyler Perry, Michael Jackson was beaten. Because you got your running. I'd like to see the statistics on that Oprah Michael Jackson was beaten yeah Trauma will either push you into murder or I guess I guess that's the important part is like Let's see the percentages of

Superstars and guys who shot 7-Eleven clerk. For, because they were trying to, you know, get the raw ingredients for meth. Right. But you know. That's the great thing about it is a lot of them were diddled. Isn't it? It's like a vampire. Yeah.

You make one by fucking with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And that's why I think it all does go back to when the world was so fucked up. Right. That they were, everyone was a monster. Everyone was a monster. Everyone, like a good, like, you watch a period piece, a movie, whatever, it's like, travel was dangerous because without the, like, the delicate balance of a town where everybody sort of kept tabs on everybody else.

Yeah. If you were just on a road alone, it's like, oh yeah. Oh, good point. 60% chance someone will fucking murder you or fuck you or. Of course. You have a horse, you have supplies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a gun, I need that gun.

I'll kill you. It's like you just expect violence when you try. 100%. It's like, just, that's how little the, like humanity existed. Or how little. Yes. How little we like respected each other, where it's like yeah

We're breaking to to make a world few free of all that shit that takes a lot of an untangling It really does and I died. I'm not a religious guy, but I think it helps back then you're like Yeah, I kill you made a list of rules, and then you you're dumb and you think there's a guy upstairs Purly gates or hell so you're like all right. I the rules I won't kill I won't steal I won't fuck my neighbor's oxen or whatever it was. Yeah I do think it was probably important to keep the society kind of flow just the fear of something even worse than your hellish existence. Yes. Because it's like none of their lives were good. No God no. One big part of our business here at Stavibaby Enterprises is our thriving online shop.

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Shopify.com slash Stavi. Well, I think it is time to take some of your newfound wisdom as a father and apply it to our dear friends here at calling in from for Stavi's world. So Alice, what do you have for our wise friend Mark? Hi, Stav. I love your show. Thank you. So I recently have started seeing somebody, he's a man.

And I kind of knew him beforehand. He's kind of a, unfortunately a dim bro, which is fine. But I just recently found out that he is on Tram. Tram. And steroids as well as testosterone. Is it true that the wrestlers and bodybuilders get physically violent? I'm trying to figure that out. Oh, well, I have no issues with him so far.

We mesh very well, but it's just the Jim Bro. He is a Jim Bro. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell him to not do that or if I'm like overstepping- Sure. To say, hey, don't do steroids. But very short, I don't really know what to say other than I love you and I love your show

and hopefully am going to see you when you go on tour. Nice. By the way, I think she said, hey Stav, and it translated to hot dog. I know. It's Google Voice transcription cannot figure out Stav or Eldest to save his life. Okay, okay. That's why I'm not worried about AI.

Like one of those says pizza rose, what is that even like So, okay, this is interesting. So the person she's dating is on fucking is on gear basically You know Can you tell him to stop is kind of crazy? Yeah, this is how you met the guy It's also you're not it sounds like you just started she said recently started seeing somebody and I guess it's the kind of thing where You know if not if if You don't which by the way if this guy's doing things the right way You know a lot of these Jim bros these days actually do know how to do this correctly like yeah, kind of a crazy

That's true. I think it is a little nuts. I mean, obviously I'm unhealthy, right? I know that, but bodybuild, like guys who take a ton of steroids and keep a ton of muscle, like that's not healthy for you either. Like they do it to look cool, because they're chasing being jacked. And they're essentially trading a little bit of their future health for, you know,

and unless you do it in a very smart way, it can be really bad for you. Yeah. And so I think as long as nothing bad is happening, right, like the fact that you're like, do these guys get violent? We'll see in a cute way. Right. That scares me a little bit. I hope you I hope you don't find out. Yeah. Or I hope you find out when you like, you know, punch the hole through the

wall because you lost an Xbox game and then and then you know to break up with him right but You know the way I think you approach it is just like this is who he was Same thing is like if he smoked weed or even fucking or even like if I was dating somebody for example And they knew I was fat as shit and within a a month they're like, how about some salads? I'd be like, Oh, good point. Fuck you, bitch.

Yeah. It's like, what are you, what are you out of your fucking mind? You knew who I was. Yeah, exactly, you knew who the fuck I am. It'd be different if she was like, hey, you know, how do you feel? Or like, it's different if you want to talk to him

about him and understand. Like if somebody came up to me and was like, how do you feel about, do you feel, cause there were times in my life where I was just I Was just getting fucked up having a good-ass time not thinking but there are other times my life where I would have welcomed Someone to be like what's going on right? It's like are you feeling okay? Sure is everything okay? And if it was somebody I loved and just and she just really wanted to be like do you like getting this fucked up? Sometimes that can help so maybe you could just talk to him about like what,

like oh, are you body build? Like what is, even to just understand him as a person. Because it is weird if you're not a competing body builder and you're just like, you just have that level of body dysmorphia where you wanna be jacked for no reason and there are possible health negatives and it's probably expensive. What are you trying to get out of this

is something I would be curious. And maybe it's just an expensive habit for maybe instead of fucking building Legos he likes building his fucking biceps or whatever. But I think you talked him for that and as long as there's no negatives to you, the only thing I could think of is, you know, being worried about his health, which could potentially happen if he's not doing things the right way.

And I think she could broach that, because that's kind of coming from a place of compassion. Hey, I'm worried about your health, just want to make sure you know what you're doing, but that's probably when she'll get hit. So then you can gauge, okay, I guess he is violent. Yeah. So that's the perfect, perfect solution. Here's what you do. You take him, you go, uh, you say, I have a fun activity.

We're going to go, um, uh, do one of those jackass stunts where we, where we get away from a police dog and you're both wearing that giant protective, you're wearing that giant protective suit. Yeah. And then that's when you tell them not to do steroids. Because then you could take a punch or two if you're wearing that giant suit. Yeah, but I do take a little umbrage with the, hey, this guy's a gym bro, blah, blah. I'm like, you probably like the muscles that he had out of the gate.

You're like, who's this guy at the bar? Whatever it was. So that is a little tough with like, he's a gym bro, blah, blah. Well, you like the muscle. It's like a guy going, this chick, she's on the treadmill all day. But you also don't want a fat girl. Right. So there is a little that. But I think or the like, oh, she does only fans is like, you like those big fat tits. That's you know what I mean?

It's like it is. There is. That's possible. It could be a little hypocrisy. Can't have it both ways. I do think there is something to we are attracted to people when we don't know that much about them. Where it's like, yeah, you're right. It's probably how that she probably liked how Jack this guy was. But yeah,

that fucking guy that's Jacked is different from like, uh, wanting to go out to dinner and he's like, oh, but I cooked, um, boiled chicken and broccoli for the whole week. I need my protein. You know what I mean like that's that's different So you know you have to think about are you is this she seems fine with it though? I think she's more just worried about the violence the potential violence in there, which is very fair I think Do you think that like you can be Jack you can hit the gym and not do steroids or Tran, whatever the fuck that is. Tran, Tran, I believe, yeah.

And still be Jacked, by the way. Totally. So I don't know if he needs the roids. Yeah. Unless you're, you're not in the NFL. But that's what I mean, is like, why, there is a huge, there is like definitely a, something going around the internet where there's these guys that like, want look awesome just for pure vanity like right and it's not it used to Be wonderful girls exactly guys don't even want that no no they want attention from other guys Honestly, and I know a hundred percent like it's like this weird thing and some of them are just like some of them do so

Like are so lean and whatever and are so jacked that it fucks up their sex drive Or some of these some of this like some of these steroids You should fuck up their sex drive these guys literally are becoming like these this army of turbo incels Just doesn't make it's there. They're not even in so they're vol cell, but it's like So it's it's fascinating and I I would be curious to get a more of an interest if I were her To get more of an understanding as to why he even does that Yeah, like we are what are you doing this for? Yeah, you got the girl. You got the girl Are you competing? Are you whatever like right?

You know, maybe he does want to do that plenty of people want to do like, you know If he wants to be an amateur body, okay, whatever, but yeah figure it out keep it, you know But the people we love are always gonna have these weird little You know, but the people we love are always gonna have these weird little You know come They're gonna they're gonna belong to weird little subcultures And by the way, some gym bros can be toxic but a lot of them are the nicest guys of all time Yeah, well they get it out in the gym sometimes So they were just like nice nerds that a lot of a lot of the most jack guys just kind of like nice nerds

Dude, you know, yeah, they just are happen to be jacked true So, you know, these guys don't have to be this this guy doesn't have to be appreciate seems like you like him So anyway, hopefully I see you and your muscle bound boyfriend At the shed whatever show on the dreamboat tour here here anything you want to plug here by the way mark in the middle The show. Oh, yeah, I'm doing the Ryman theater Big big well, that's in April. Okay, we'll try Let us know when we'll try and time April 3 really don't know what will try and time it will serve okay which i time it for that i know pressure be all the dates are a punch up remark on the comic dot com

we get we might be drunk which that was that on we get to see stories which that was that on the area we got pods we get tickets to sell and uh... yeah quiff it up and check out a system stage Salak use and I have made a little Bullshit show and we'd love you to see it. And yeah, are you doing those regularly? Yeah We're gonna do one with a new comic every show So I did the first one that we have Michelle wolf in the second and I think it's Ronnie Chang and then they're on Awesome. Yeah, check that out. Go see mark at the Ryman see me at the Ryman I think I'm there probably a few what am I I at the Ryman, when are we in Nashville? Do you know?

Nice, fuck you. All right. Ha ha ha ha ha. This episode of Starbiz World is brought to you by Booking.com. A Booking. yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the US, I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for.

I'm telling you guys, this whole tour, booking.com has been an invaluable resource. We own the tour bus, sure, but sometimes we like to step out. We like to find hotels, we like to find stays, sometimes we need a place with a kitchen so I can chef up my chicken and peps. You'll see a lot of that on Stavi Gets Ripped Season 3. We're currently in production of that.

Whatever you're looking for, they have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. What are're looking for, they have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. What are you looking for? You want to go to the mountains? You want to do a little weekend getaway with your family because of your beautiful family that you love and cherish? They got that for you. Are you a single? Are you a cat about town looking for a more party atmosphere? You can find that too. Whatever you're looking for, no matter who you can find that too. Whatever you're

looking for no matter who you are booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking.yeah. Alright well fuck it let's uh let's do another fucking call. Hey, so I'm just calling in because I'm, so I'm a teaching assistant for a professor at my art college. Uh-oh. I don't wanna tell you too many details, I'm pretty sure that I've got some people

in these classes that are watching this show. I'm like, why wouldn't they? This show fucking rules. Thank you. But yeah, I work for this professor, that are watching the show. Why wouldn't they? The show fucking rules. Thank you. Yeah, I work for this professor, but lately he's kind of been spending a lot of time trying to woo the married other person that's working

in the art department, and he takes up all of his time. He is never there for any of the like supervisor meetings. Like he's just completely blowing off his classes to like try to like fuck this married girl. Pause this for a while. Um, that sucks. And we'll get back to your actual question, but I am shocked he's not fucking a student. Oh, good point.

Art professor. Art professor. You know, it's like for sure sure I thought this was he's fucking Students and how do I stop this so you know it's not good. He's still trying to Coke someone into committing adultery, but just let's keep it going good point Hey girl, and it's like it drives me up the fucking wall because like He does shit like have to have her like pick him up and like drop him back off like really late at night by the school kids video and I'm just like what are you doing man and why do I have to fucking

see it you know yeah I'm like why is it eating in so much into you trying to help me you know it's just like it really pisses me off I don't really know what to do about it and she's like it just bothers me a lot and sometimes I'll call him on it I will be like I'm like wow you're spending a lot of time with this person wonder what's going on there like oh you have another little rendezvous last night and he gets really defensive and like upset in a way that a guilty person would be yeah I don't know what the fuck do I do if like the professor I wore It's really defensive and like upset in a way that a guilty person Yeah, I don't know what the fuck do I do if like the professor I work work for is having an affair with someone to The point where he can't do his fucking job

And I'm having to like pick up all the pieces for him because like both him and the woman He's having an affair with are both my professors. So it's like I feel really stuck I feel really annoyed I feel very grossed out and betrayed in some ways that's on you like hmm I don't know his work that I initially cared about a lot he hasn't seemed to really give a fuck about it yeah oh damn these are important these are honestly very important lessons for you to learn this is what the world's like haha it's the most cliche, don't meet your hero.

You are in one of the most cliche, don't meet your heroes. We're all, you know, we're low level artists, but we're artists, you know? And it is, and you know, you meet people who you did, maybe you looked up to something, or you, and you find out, and this happens to me too, where it's like, I mean, I've definitely made stuff that really matters to people that I didn't care about.

You know what I mean? Or like, the things people latch onto, when you create something, you put it out into the world, and it's like, people have experiences with it, they attach meaning to it, and you're somebody who's being shaken of like kind of youthful delusion in the real, like in real time.

Good point. And this is by the way what artists are like. And college professors and artists, you want people who are, I can't think of two like adults that behave like children more. You know, it's like, you just are allowed to be, especially as an artist who has some, if you have some success, you get away with acting

like a fucking asshole. Right. Look at Kanye. Yeah. You know, his wife is naked. Yeah, I think we're past him getting away with it. But yeah, it's sad as fuck. I mean, that's, you're right though.

I mean, 10 years ago, Kanye West was like an artist. I Admire of course the most like one of my favorite artists of all time and now it's like Brutal what's going on? Yeah brutal and it's like part of that's mental illness obviously, but that goes hand-in-hand but being selfish You know hyper focused on certain things like that's kind of how you create good art He might just be hyper focused on getting slurped off by this lady Mm-hmm, and here's the other reality is like yeah This is what happens to people who work under powerful people you spend a lot You think it's gonna be in a perfect world

They're good leaders that set you up for success, but more often than not shit flows downhill um You know, it's like you a lot of a lot of what working for someone is is picking up the pieces And it sucks that you have to realize this and this is really fucking brutal, but I would just say Kind of use this to your advantage you could like You might be able to get something out of being the person who helps him Through having an affair instead of like there's no justice in the world So let's start there the idea that you think something will happen and he will be brought to justice and like you know

He might he might get caught. I mean it tend it usually happens. Okay. He gets caught right? But but our friend who's calling in here. She's at school now, right? She's a TA for him. Is that what's going on? So it's like he might get caught in a couple years She'll be out of school like her experience is just right now Yeah, like that's the reality even justice when it served doesn't Fix going through something fucked up. Yeah, so you're somebody who's like a collateral damage victim of something that's fucked up Never it's not gonna change and to to her credit She seems to sort of understand that right? She's not asking. She's just kind of like

Exasperated she doesn't have like any right like I've read her be taking it pretty personally She's like it's really fucked up, it bothers me, I'm ashamed for him and grossed out. So I think this lady's got a, I think she looked up to this writer, professor guy, so maybe she's got to detach a little. And to piggyback off your point, I do think people, artists are fucked up, obviously, but we prop artists up. We're acting like plumbers and guys who drive bread trucks aren't fucking around on their wife or whatever So everybody fucks around their wife. Everybody fucks around their husband. Everybody diddle the kid. Everybody drinks on the job

Everybody does drugs. Everybody steals from the self checkout. So we're all fucked up, but we do prop these people Oh my god, this guy said this, I looked at him, he's such a great professor, and you're like, yeah, he's just like a piece of shit too. He's a guy, he's a guy. And you're right, but she's also in the classic, I mean, this is the most like, finding out how the world works experience I've ever heard of. Like, this is an indie movie right here.

Right, right. It's like, this is a loss of innocence coming of age story. Yes, Julia Stiles And so and so I just think Yeah, well mark says sure it's like you shouldn't take it personally, right? This guy is just he's just some fucking guy exactly every artist no matter how like that's that's another thing We you know, we're lucky to have met pretty much every comedian. Yeah, it's cool It's cool that this happened to us, but the thing you learn and we've worked with a lot of great like, you know fucking legends

They're all just some guy exactly. They're all just some guy, right? everybody some fucking some lady some dude, they're all fucking person and Yeah, you it what's important is you realize this is not the experience you thought it was gonna be, but you have to, but you're still, you're still working for him, right? Working for him's not what it's all cracked up to be, but there's still some prestige.

The other thing is you know this, a lot of the world doesn't know this, right? So the way they look at him hasn't changed. You can still get something out of being a person who worked for him. And also, there might be stuff, like yes, this is not gonna be the transformative experience with your art and learning under him

that you wanted it to be, but there's still stuff to pick up, you know? And you could also just kinda finesse this to where you're, like, you are sort of a you kind of cover for he kind of owes you one like that stuff's not bad either sure and I would say just look at it as if he had a fucking drug problem or he had or he was a drunk or he was just like whatever like this is his vice yeah it's just like this is a vice that you can't do anything about and all you can do is is like

You are gonna pick up the pieces. It's gonna be annoying You thought you went into this thinking you were gonna have a great mentor and it didn't happen, but there will be other mentors I mean, I remember one time I open so I won't say who it was I over somebody who I really respected and you know, you're like we met when I opened for you back in the day I kind of like this. I was used to good comics liking me. You know what I mean? I just made friends with good comics. And I started getting cocky and just thinking like,

oh, you open for someone, you become friends with them. And they put you on the road. And you know, that's how I met Bobby, Papa, you and Joe. Like that's how I met a lot of my friends now. But I met, I opened for one guy and I was doing, and I was like I wanna fucking crush it. I want him to fucking respect me. Because good comics respect that.

Yeah. And I even did, this is how fucking Cockay was. I was on his website looking at like clubs he was going to soon. I'll go to that one. And I was like literally like, yeah I don't know about this. Like I'm just like, I'm like it's my choice, you know? That's great. And I crushed and I was like literally like, I don't know about this. I'm just like, I'm like it's my choice, you know?

That's great. And I crushed and I'm like, holy fuck, this guy's gonna fuck. And not only that, and then like, you know, and I'm like, I'm gonna do my best shit, no fucking around, and like, you know, he was cool in the green room, whatever, and then he would like whisper shit in,

like when I was, cause you know, I was featuring, and then I would come off he'd be standing there and every time He was nice and every in the green room or ever in those little interactions Where it's just me and him and there he would be like same stuff again. Whoa I think I know it is now and and in my head I was like I was like while this guy hates me in hindsight I think he was just like, I've also been there where it's like, you don't really want to take a gig.

It's Magoobie's joke. Right, right. Maybe he's a very successful guy. He was probably working on, he probably wasn't working on, and I've been there too where I've been rusty on standup and I'm not sharp. And the last thing I want is like someone just, I'm hitting the NOS button trying to

crush. Yeah. It was probably annoying to have to follow me. And it wasn't like and artistically I wasn't trying anything. I wasn't doing I was just trying to kill which is what I thought you should do. I would have thought the same thing. You know. And but it's some some some people.

So anyway my point is that was fucking weird to me because I had done nothing But I was really lucky and like you know some people were fucking rude to me But they were fucking they were literally drug at like a guy with a coke problem was mean to me But you know I knew him to that we later became friends um and I had bad experiences But this was one where I was like I respected the guy And that's and he said shit to me in a fucked up way that I couldn't even prove No one saw it right and in fact was in cities because he was really nice in person Yeah, and just a private kind of like, you know, nobody knows this about this, right?

you're the one who has to fucking hold this in and All I can say is like that was, that sucks for me. I was lucky where I was like, all right, I'm just gonna like never see this guy again. But if I had to work for him, I would've just been like, all right, well it's not what I thought it was gonna be, but I'm sure I can pick some other stuff up, whatever. This sucks, but I can, the point is,

you're right to feel annoyed. It's fucking, it sucks, but that's, just get ready for more of this if you're working in the art world, I'll tell you that much. You're not gonna meet artists that cheat less. Successful male artists that don't fuck around, that ain't happening, sister. But, you know, just make the best of it.

What else can you do? Can you come out on top where he sorta owes you one? You know, just just make the best of it. What else can you do? Can you sort of can you come out on top where he sort of owes you one? You know, whatever can you just treat him more as a friend? Like if your friend was fucking around with somebody you'd be like I'm still doing that, huh? But you wouldn't like constantly break their balls They're still your friend, you know, and maybe you can use this thing You don't like about this guy as a way to free yourself from Worshiping him a little yes, not saying you worship use this thing you don't like about this guy as a way to free yourself from worshiping him a little. Yes. Not saying you worship him, but you know, you look up to him.

And to understand that you are, you can do, like that did help me when you would meet people and it's like there's nothing inherently that special about this person. Yes, exactly. That helped me and I think that should be able to help you too, but good luck, that sucks, you know. Hit us up if you make paintings. I'm trying to buy art now. Yeah, I'm an art collector for real Oh, I will legit like buy a painting from a fan. That sounds kind of cool. That is I got a cut Yeah, cuz I don't we could talk about it later But it's like I don't like a lot of materialistic shit, but I do love art. Mm-hmm

So it's the one kind of like thing I want to buy. I don't want to buy you know fucking Rolexes, I don't want to buy cars, but cool art that speaks to me that is and then you kind of help an artist. Yeah I like that. It's a good investment too. Yeah. You know the Segura story. No. It's similar to yours. So he was opening for David Tell who was like his hero and they're hanging out in the green room and you know Segura's like I want to kill, I want him to

love me and David Tell goes so what do you want to be an actor? What are you talking about? I'm I'm a comic and he's like, oh you just do the same stuff every night So I figured you just didn't care about this. You're just kind of oh and it's a girl was like Yeah, just ruined him and then he has a tell on 12 years later on his pod. He brought that up and it tells like I said that on 12 years later on his pod, he brought that up, and Attell was like, I said that? I don't even, no, you're a cop, what are you talking about?

Sometimes people can just say fucked up shit that sticks with you, and Attell had no memory of that at all. Oh, I'm sure we've all been there where it's like, you just said a comment you didn't even think about in a green room, because you're hungover or whatever. Right. And I'm sure at the time Attell hated himself, you know what I mean? There's so much that he probably didn't even meet you know exactly exactly

I don't know you know you're probably right. I probably am still reading into it too much, but I can't wait to hear what is later Yeah, I'll tell you You know I called earlier I was in a tizzy and I didn't have my question right so I have a new question for stav So I've used your man Who's gotten some pussy it seems like you've told some stories and things like in my experience We're getting a couple pieces of pussy pieces of their girls that are comers and they'll Girls are not comers mm-hmm, and you know some girls just go crazy

No matter what like it's like it's nothing and other girls You could be fucking putting the jackhammer on the pussy and they just nothing will happen And my question for you stop it if you encounter a girl who's not a comer How do you make that girl come because I really I really need that as a part of my sexual satisfaction and apparently the girls that are my type are the non comers because every time that I hook up with a girl that I mean, I'm kind of like, whatever about, she just goes crazy on it all the time. But every time I'm with a girl that I'm like, I really like this girl, like she's so cool. Like I want this girl

to be my GF, not not a comer and it's just like It's not satisfying for me I need I need to see it see a freak It's a tragedy if I'm getting off three times in a night and then the girl next to me There's only like point five times like you know I also feel like that's the weird manipulation on the girls part like I have way more part fucking Brain chemistry satisfaction in this interaction than she does that feels manipulative in a way You're so bad at fucking girls are manipulating you. I mean that's a crazy little That's a crazy little fucking bit of a good spin. Yeah acrobatics right there

communicate with the girls, but even Usually the relationship doesn't last enough to get to that point where they're like bringing the tools into the sex and stuff Tools that's a fun way to call it vibrator. Yeah, we're gonna tools and your implements your instruments. Yeah I mean That's a fun way to call it vibrator. Yeah, we're gonna the tools and your implements your instruments. Yeah um I mean Well, first of all, i'm gonna say it might be your whole vibe You don't have a vibe that makes me want to bust a nut I don't want to sit back relax. Yeah

And it's bad. I will say if you're You're coming at it in a net from a negative point of view here where it's like I need to see you come or I won't feel Good, it's like you're putting all that and I've definitely you know as a younger man I've kind of felt the same way. Oh, yeah, I gotta see you got a bust I feel like I owe it to you whatever Yes, but that desperation and that pressure is the worst thing when a girl has a hard time coming any Pressure on her and your whole vibe is press. It's like, you know, you're just you're just fucking banging. You're like, come on That's number one, I think this weird and also how about you see if they have a good time, you know

Like some girls are just like it might take a couple hookups It might get uncomfortable with you and yes some women just do not quit fast and you know salute to them. Hallelujah But also something he said about Jack. They're nutting off jackhammering. Are you eating pussy? Hmm? Because if you're just mean like some girls nut off intercourse, that's true very nicely The end of that one was a little squeaker dude. It was moist at the end. And I'm not you of all the guys you could do this to I'm the least squeamish of all time but that little bit of fucking wetness got me dude. This guy got me to come. This guy got me to come That's so fucking funny So yeah, dude, I would say like I literally forgot my train of thought cuz that's that far too much pressure You're right too much pressure. And then also yeah, like I was saying he seems to just be talking about girls who come off intercourse right or. And certainly that's

some of them, but it's like a lot of girls don't, a lot of girls, it's, you know, some come just off eating pussy, some come off getting finger popped, some it's like a mix of the two, some it's a mix of all three. You got to kind of do a poo poo, a sexual poo poo platter and get them to bust. But if all you're doing is just fucking and expecting girls to come that's it's kind of impressive It's even you would even put it at 5050 I would say right because of the girls like to me It's way more rare to meet a girl that comes off intercourse. Yeah alone You know that those are I would say those are you know?

That's more rare than the non-comers at all. Yeah it's 70-30 to clit I think. Yeah yeah most is clit focused. In fact I the ones that are like I grow I'm the type of I'm a I'm more of a finesse player in that if you're a clit gal I'm all you know we're gonna we're gonna get together just fine but yeah I have to really pound for a really extended period of time for you to nut sure I can on my good days but that's not my you know go to and that boy gonna put her on top yeah sure sure but yes so this thing be less fucking be less sort of desperate for them to nut,

and if you're not, try eating more pussy, not just, you know, not just pounding, not just penetration. You know, get a couple different moves in your arsenal. You know what I mean? You can't just always put your head down and go straight for the bucket. Sometimes you gotta fucking shoot a three-pointer,

call a play, get a pick and roll, your teammate involved the tools the sex stuff all that stuff Good point two things on this. It's kind of I hear what he's saying about the girl He doesn't like sure you can get her off which is goes to your point It's like a you never do a bad show and you're like who gives a fuck you're loose. You're riffing You're going here you're going there. But if it's a TV taping, you're like, oh, you're stiff and you don't kill as well because you're not loose. Yeah. So I totally get that. I have a thing called Madonna syndrome. Have you heard of this? No. That's where you can't get it up if you like the girl. Unless you're fucking Dennis Rodman. I was wearing a wedding dress. That's an old reference, but Kim Jong-il. So if if I like my wife, I was really into her.

I really liked her. I was like, we had great chemistry, we had great compatibility and I couldn't get it up. So I had to take Blu Chu. But then I would bang some some fat pig on the road. And I was like Peter North. Yeah, because I didn't give a shit. I wasn't in my head. I'm with you that I actually have had that happen. Oh, really? Where it's like the first time I hook up with somebody that I actually like I'm nervous My dick is soft

It took like yeah like the last the last Two girls I dated that happened with so yeah, I think there's something to that okay pressure thing You put the pressure of caring, but it's the irony because the girls like you don't like me You're like no actually really love you. Because yeah, this is because I like you. Yeah. So I would always pop blue juice like a like a drug addict, you know, in the bathroom. And she's like, what's why is your tongue blue?

And I'm like, I had a mint. You know, you got to do that whole thing. But had some fun dip. But yeah, it just goes to show you if you could shut it down with the girls you like, if you just chill out and realize that, hey, I'm a little in my head here, the pressure's on, maybe that'll help with the coming. Yeah and I think ultimately the answer here is, and he says the relationship doesn't get to the point where they would bring out a tool, like you just have to fuck somebody

a couple times to kind of really get the hang of it. Sure, get the rhythm. And it's like you might have just hit, you might have just been on a lucky streak of hitting, fucking a couple girls in a row that bust fast Yeah, you know you'll hit a cold streak of that shit, too You know what I mean, so just focus if you like somebody focus Ultimately is sex is very important, but ultimately like you know I You both of us couldn't get hard with women that we dated and they they stuck around

Both of us couldn't get hard with women that we dated and they they stuck around Yes Power through a couple awkward and encounters if you have if you have real chemistry that will shine through and event the real problem Is yeah, you'll just figure it out the more you hook up with somebody in my opinion here here Good luck even though again your vibes were a little off-putting It reminds me of when I was younger if sex always felt like... I felt what he's talking about where it's like, I have to make her come before I come. Definitely. Because then I don't want to look like I fucked bad or like...

Yeah, because I'm going to bust so fast. It's like, if she doesn't come before I put my dick in, we're toast. Yeah. And then eventually you're like, all right, well look lady, my neck's getting sore. Right. I know I'm not staying hard much longer, so... My fingers hurt. Yeah, we gave it the old college try. Esteemed guests, love the show, love the energy, love you boys. All right, so I'm 35, been married like eight years together with this lady for almost a decade, right?

My whole life I've been a real skinny guy tall gangly motherfucking look like a giraffe right meanwhile my wife college athlete D1 sports always in shape always real fit recently right like six months ago started hitting the gym been tracking my macros. Honestly, I'm almost 30 pounds. I look good. It's damn near all muscle. Frankly, I look great. Now, in that same timeframe, my wife, you got pregnant. Hey, I think I know where you're going with this. And you're wrong, right? I would never cheat on my wife. She's the light of my world. I fell in love with her when I, frankly, looked like a war-torn refugee, right?

So the real question here is, how do I convince my wife she's so beautiful, help her understand I'm so thankful for putting her body through this shit, right? I need her to know that her identity's been tied up in being athletic and fit, the whole process, eating her up. And so how do I help her know that she's good on this, right? Like, do I stop getting fit? She's been going after me for a while to get healthy.

Do I stop doing that? We made the decision to get pregnant together. So how do I communicate to her that just how wonderful and beautiful she is, what she's doing with all of this and her new identity and all of it. Interesting. Alright, love you guys, love the show. I wanted to hate this guy because he's like, I look fucking great, and then he turned out to be the sweetest

most thoughtful man on the planet. I take it all back. This guy's a gem. Yes, yeah, this is cute. I like this guy for sure. And you know, you're the expert here. Your wife was recently pregnant. I'm writing them thick of this. So do you have anything you wanna jump in?

I have my own thoughts, but from a guy who's truly experiencing it, what do you say? I think my wife keeps saying like, you know, they do sacrifice the body. It's crazy. Women love babies, but they're Chris Brown. They fuck your shit up.

The scarring, the nipples are all ruined. The tits are weird, whatever. So these kids are evil. What they do to women's bodies. Horrible. They should be put in jail. But you gotta lay it on thick cause women, you know, women want to look good normally.

And so this is like, hey, they sacrifice their body and they're going to have a few extra pounds that they got to melt away and all this shit. So yeah, just lay it on thick, put the arms around her, keep your hands on her, like keep showing affection, keep pouring out the compliments and point out every day like, whoa, you lost a little more today because my wife just keeps shrinking down slowly, and you've got to keep acknowledging it. Show her that you're aware of it, and show her that you're on board and rooting for and supporting her,

and just keep it up. Yeah. So that's it. Yeah, and I think overall, it's just general support. Because it's like, yes, some of this is her body and her whatever, but also in her identity, you said, of being athletic. And first of all, I wouldn't say don't stop being fit,

but I mean, you're not helping her by doing that, especially if there's something she always wanted you to do. But you can make it more of a partner thing when she's after the baby comes out, you could hit the gym together. You've been tracking your macros, maybe you can kind of be on a health, a little health journey together if she wants that, right?

I would just say overall from seeing, I've had a few people in my life, like I said, my sister-in-law just had a kid, my brother, I've had a couple good friends have kids recently and just like kind of observing a few different instances of this, it's like Yeah, definitely how they look is part of it. But also it's just like it's just a fucking ordeal overall

Yeah, just being support like, you know, and who knows you're some some women want to get fucking right back in the gym Your wife might not want to sure I mean like she might win what and it's you seem cool with whatever she decides and Sure, I mean like she might win what and it's you seem cool with whatever she decides And I think it's more than the physical or just as much as the physical. It's a lot of mental strength Yeah, baby is fucking gonna be all like and no sleaze and no sex no Yeah, just like it's in like a baby's obsessed with its mom for like at least the first year And it's like can go nowhere. She can do nothing, and so just being supportive of her and making her feel so she's not overwhelmed,

all this kind of stuff, I think keeping her happy in general will also just help with the body stuff too, because it's just like, if you're already kind of sad and then you just like, oh, and I look like shit, it's like, if you're feeling good and then you're like, oh, and you know, I gotta start really, once I feel a little better, I'm gonna hit the gym. That's easier than like, I wanna kill myself,

then you glimpse in the mirror, you're like, I wanna do it right now. So just keep the level of happiness, keep the support, whatever your wife needs, just kinda be there and just like, you seem to have the right attitude there. This guy's a sweet guy, I think you're gonna be fine. We've had real pieces of shit called this show before. Yeah, you can't have sex for six weeks after pregnancy or after birth and so I've been

doing a countdown. I can't wait, oh man, this many days now. Make it fun, like stuff like that helps show you're dying a fucker, you can't wait. And you gotta think women, they're saints for what they do with the body because Imagine if your dick was different after you had a kid I'm never having a kid. Yeah, but they still do it. Yeah, you gotta give it to them damage to my dick I couldn't I couldn't stand any of it. Totally. Oh, that's brutal. But yeah, good luck little buddy. You're gonna be fine. Oh, yeah What else we got eldest? you're gonna be fine. Oh yeah. What else we got, Eldis? Hi, I wanted to know how long is it acceptable to be an adult late bloomer? Like when is the cutoff date, so to speak? I'm 33 years old, I've been working in my trade career for 15 years and I'm successful and stable. My dilemma is I'm

the breadwinner in my four-year- My dilemma is I'm that I was never supposed to have that position. Wow. I grew up in a Hispanic household so it's the man's job to do all of this. My boyfriend is the nicest, kindest, most thoughtful person I've ever been with. He makes me want to be a better person. But it's been wearing on me because financially I carry all the weight with the bills, everything financially. And my boyfriend has been in this career for almost 10 years and within the last four he decided to go on his own and work for himself. I've given up on having a family because I don't want

to do it alone and when I had an epiphany about this I thought if I can't even have a family maybe we can do trips and we can't even do that because he can't afford it and I don't make a big deal about any of this to him because when we talked about it He's expressed that it makes him feel emasculated You're not making him feel masculine. He's a fucking loser. It's like being like yeah, it's like Feeling he's like, you know when I tell my when I tell my boyfriend I don't like it when he shits his pants it makes it makes him feel like he's stinky It's like yeah, he's fucking third. I mean let's finish it, but that's crazy So I'm not the point that if I want to travel and do things I can only pay for myself and

Am I a dickhead if I want to go on trips alone because he can only pay for myself and and i had to get a fine one of the one trip alone because he can't pay the money dot or the way that i want to travel in the standard that i have so i want to know how men handle the types of situation when they are provided that the type of is that type of mentality changing as well?

Thanks. Interesting. Very interesting. Well, that's what I love about feminism. Now she sees what it's like to be the sole provider. That's not easy. But, see, you would never, and I agree, right? First of all, the whole, like,

you were raised to never have to be this, like, that's all all bullshit in my opinion. I would be fine if my wife, you know, whatever, like luckily life's going in a way where I'm doing fine, doing very well financially. But I, you know, if my wife was more successful than me, that wouldn't emasculate me. No, no way.

If I had my own shit going, right? If saying he feels emasculated is kind of fucked up. That's a cop out. It's a huge cop out. And gaslighting in a way. It is because what he feels is he's a failure and he is. And it's like. But would you say that to a woman who's broke

and the guy's making all the money? Well it depends. Is she a failure? Well here's what I wanna know, right? They're working two jobs, they're both working, right? Okay. Is she also the homemaker? That's a good question. Because if this guy does, like okay, let's say I had a fucking wife, whatever,

and because I'm the head of, you know, my career's going good, if the expectations are, hey, I really am taking care of this shit, you don't have to work, but might as well fucking, you know, it's not that I'm old fashioned or anything, but like, you're here, why don't you just fucking take care of all this shit? Yeah, I'm doing this, you do that.

And if that's, and then hey, if you wanna have your little small business on the side, great. But I take care of this, you take care of that. And if she did that, I wouldn't say like, you're lazy or whatever. I agree, I this guy's if this guy wants to be treated like the head of the household But he's a fucking failure. He says he feels emasculated That he can't have it both. You can't have it both way I don't think there's anything I think if he was the type of guy you said he's the kind of sweetest whatever guy you've

Been with if he was got a guy who's like hey, I'll do the domestic shit I don't care if he was the kind of guy who's like that He's like I'll make your life easier. You're the fucking breadwinner I'll save it. You know I'll do shit to save us some money so that we can like you know get do these vacations or The simpler thing is like if he was like look my fucking job is not fake work Like I tried going to I gave it to college try. Yep. It's not working Just go get a fucking hourly job and make some fucking money Cuz this guy's if this guy's doing if these guys bring zero in he might as well

Be at home fucking cleaning or whatever. Yes, right. Yes So but what's interesting about this is so I would just take out the I'm not raised to be this way This is a matter of like, you know What's interesting about this is, so I would just take out the, I'm not raised to be this way. This is a matter of like, you know, I think it's fine if a woman is the head of the household, if the other, what this really is, is two people in a relationship and one person is contributing so much that it's starting to make her feel

that it's like, used and resentful. And by the way, not only are you contributing so much, but it's like now you're losing, used and resentful. Yes. And by the way, now you're contributing so much, but it's like now you're losing. I mean, when you said, I've accepted, I can't have a family, we all got sad. That's horrible. Can't even go on a trip either. And it's like, that's nuts if that's what you want.

That's crazy. And then you feel guilty, and he goes for the cop out of emasculation. We need to know a little bit more about this business working for himself shit, right? Like, cause again, that could just be, from what we know, I mean, this is not, you can't be in this relationship.

Like, cause you said it makes him feel emasculated, but you have to just be like, look, I'm not trying to make you feel emasculated. This is not about, it's just like, I just want certain things out of my life and You know I've been support You've also been supportive of him in for four years He's trying to get his business off the ground like if I was married to somebody and I was like I have to go

Try comedy and she supported me for fucking five years and nothing was going on I wouldn't be like, stop talking to me about having kids, I'm trying to work on this reel. Once this reel goes viral bitch, I'm selling tickets, right? I wouldn't do that. I would be like, you know what? I gave it a shot, time to go fucking work at a Home Depot. You know what I mean?

Time to go fucking go to Best Buy. Who gives a fuck? So yeah. Also, why isn't this guy uncomfortable? If my girl was paying for everything and she was like, I want to go fuck and go to Best Buy. Who gives a fuck? So, yeah. Also, why isn't this guy uncomfortable? If my girl was paying for everything and she was like, I wanna go on a trip but you don't have any money, I'd be like, oh, you're right, I suck.

I'm going to a job, I'll ask my mom for 500 bucks, we can go to Greece or whatever it is. Why is this guy not freaking out? I actually, when you say that, I think that's probably why she mentions the, like, I was not raised. because this guy might be trying to have It both ways. Yeah, he might be comfortable because like well, I'm the fucking head of the household what I say The guy like I'm the guy so hey, we got to support my dreams

Meanwhile, this woman could be having a great like you clear love this person. This is difficult Yes, but you also can't sacrifice your life. Yes And it's like you don't believe in him. It'd be one thing if you were like he's been working for himself He works so hard. Yes. He's got this great idea I'm here like but you don't you think he's fucking and he probably is fucking lazy, right? And so you have all this guilt and I would say the same way we say let yourself go Let you know shed that like I came up this way feeling about where the what the woman should do For your slight and just look at it as two people. Mm-hmm

That's how he has to treat it too He has to just shed that if he's if he thinks you need to support him, that's fucking ridiculous Yeah, the person who's supporting the family gets the support Yeah, right like yeah That's fucking ridiculous. The person who's supporting the family gets the support. Right? And if he wants you to fucking listen to what he has to say, then he has to do better than you. Yeah, and if you wanna go on a trip and he can't go, go! And he should be like, you're right,

I can't afford it, that's on me. But once you start doing that, it's like, well, what are we even doing? Of course, of course. You're in your mid-30s and you're taking a vacation without your fucking girlfriend. And it's not like someone's, if that's not a bachelor party or something, it's like, That's crazy.

That's crazy. Like, can you imagine going on a vacation without your wife? Like, I mean, no, you have to have a really serious job where you get high in a bus with your best friend. Yeah, you just have to be on a bus for three months with my bro. Totally different. Totally different. I'm going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. You're that's crazy. I know you you you this that's the point of if you want to look some people don't have

a family great. I know you're not going to be thinking about I'm going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you're not going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you're not going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you're not going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you're not going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you're not going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you're not going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you're not going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you're not going to be thinking about I've accepted I can't have a family. I know you you you this that's the point of

If you want to look some people don't have a family great you clearly want a family Yeah, and the whole point of dating is to find the right Family with so if he's the kind of guy who you can't have a family with He's not the guy and you want and that's very important to you He can't even fucking swing a weekend and fucking cancun let alone a fucking family like that's crazy and and the emasculation is a cop out like and this is coming from people who have all been broke who have all been chasing a dream whatever it's like I definitely have been in relationships

where I didn't have any fucking money and I tried to make up for it in other ways Of course, of course and he's just he is comfortable You clearly kind of are too supportive of him in my opinion Just I don't know we don't know enough of it, but just the bare facts of doesn't pull his own weight Makes you feel guilty about bringing it up. Yep, and you can't get the basic things you want out of life. I think you're at the point of seriously considering moving on as hard as that is or having one final, you could have one final conversation and say look, I want these things. I really love you. We're very compatible in so many ways, but I'm getting older. I want a family.

I want to be able to end like, because he's essentially choosing, chasing whatever dream his own business is, over providing those things for you. That's essentially, when it boils down to his that, so you can say, look, you gotta get back to getting a real job, or you know, finding, you know, doing the housekeeping, whatever,

or we have kids and you take care of the childcare because I'm working, right? There you go. Like whatever it is, you have to have that conversation. If he says he feels amassed, then you have to say like, I'm really sorry if that's how you feel because these are non-negotiables in my life. There you go.

Because you're sacrificing these things and for what? Just kindness is the baseline. Like maybe she had some shitty relationships before this because she's saying he's the kindest guy right right that's just that's the baseline for default that's default that's not Like you can't lead with how nice a guy is he's got a everybody should be not your boyfriend should be nice to you, right? She's this guy's got a live one because he's like I'm getting all this shit for free I don't have to do any work. I'm working on my business. He probably saw baseball cards on And if she brings it up, he's like up don't emasculate me and she's like, oh you're right

That's how I was raised was the man does this so he's got it made this guy And that's why she's got to get out because this guy is totally taking advantage And this goes the other way too like if the role like truly This is about what whoever is in a relationship You can't be taken advantage of or like you know what I mean if if somebody is like if the man was the the Provider and the woman was just like not doing shit or take like you're also not getting Anything out of it right now. You know it's like it's like and ultimately it's case by case everybody has to decide what's good for them right but if you want these things and he can't give them to you then then what's the fucking

point of being in this relationship here here good luck sister damn that I'm fucking sad now elders let's end on a something funny yeah I don't know if something funny. Do you got anything? Yeah. Hey, Stavvy. Me and my husband are really big fans of your show. Thank you. I just, this isn't a question,

but I just wanted to dump some information. I just finished watching your latest podcast with Kate on it. And you guys had an interesting thing about being cremated. I had a cremator, however, my client that I work on I'm a hairdresser she works in cremation and she gave me some valuable information. I'm about cremation. She let me know that this is I didn't smell this this is what she said that plus size people smell delicious.

That's great. That's great. Hell yeah, dude. Fat people smell delicious when you cremate them? That's fucking awesome. Delicious when it's getting done. This is not what I said. This is what I said. This is what he said. He said they smell

either of a range of bacon Marshmallow Just an interesting fun fact I hope you guys are having a great day in a great fight. Thank you. That is a good fun Mart bacon I guess that's what I would have guessed is like a fatty cut of me. Sure. Marshmallow. Well that's all the sweets. Yeah.

That's all the Sour Patch Kids and Hershey bars. You know. It's just sugar. Holy shit. That's fucking crazy. That's crazy to me that you would work in a fucking crematorium or whatever. Yeah. And then be like.

Right. Right. I want to go get a fuckin', I wanna go make some s'mores. I love the smell of fatties in the morning. That is awesome, that is a beautiful little thing to go out on. That's great.

You know, that's what fat people provide a serve. You know, even on the way out, everyone's having a nice time around a fat guy. Well, you ever do Minneapolis, you can smell the, this like Bisquick is from there, or some shit, or General Mills, I think is from there. So you smell cereal in the distance. Have the crematorium in like the you know the fatter cities in America, the Cleveland's or the Vegas. Put the

ovens out there or the chimneys. Let's get a whiff when it's fatties. All right well thank you thanks for the calls. Mark thanks for being here buddy. Thank you hot dog. Congratulations on the baby. Congratulations on the baby. Oh, it's in the car. Shit. Damn it. Go see Mark Live, listen to all the pods,

and see us on the Dream Boat Tour. We'll talk to you next time, bye bye. Thank you. Bye!