Stavvy's World - #126 - Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano return to the pod to discuss the difference between Greek Orthodox and Catholic priests, the scandalous saga of a Queens-based Greek Orthodox priest, finger infection...s, the healthcare system, corporate shows, and much more. Yannis, Chris and Stav help callers including an ER doctor who's extremely burned out from his job, and a guy who doesn't know how to rise to the occasion of his wife's new interest in romantasy novels. Visit Cornbread Hemp at https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/stavvy and use code STAVVY for 30% off your first order. Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at AuraFrames.com. Promo Code STAVVY Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com! https://www.booking.com/  Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. See Yannis Pappas live and follow him on social media: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ https://twitter.com/yannispappas https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour/ https://www.facebook.com/yannispappascomedian/@UCywn6iboO1P8U7fotfllocw  See Chris Distefano live and follow him on social media: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.facebook.com/chrisdcomedy/ https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ https://www.tiktok.com/@chrisdcomedy https://www.youtube.com/c/chrisdcomedy https://patreon.com/chrisdcomedy  🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

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Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome everybody to Stavisworld 904 800 Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. Wow, what a beautiful couch today. Two of our favorites united on the couch, reunited again. The history hyenas themselves. No, put that down. Sorry, I was doing it. No, stop. Blur these out, Elvis. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I could tell. You know, I feel good about being here. I was excited to come and I could tell eldest was excited that we were coming because he's dressed like Elizabeth Holmes from Fahrenheit.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Elvis is an all black and a turtle. That you guys don't even see the pants. He's looking Parisian today. I mean he looks like that fucking female CEO guy. I thought he was coming here to do yoga. He looks like a very granola yogi guy. I was just feeling that when I dressed up for a couple classy guys on the cast today. But I like that it's still Baltimore because it's really nice but the whole outfit was bought
Starting point is 00:01:05 at Old Navy. You do look like an Albanian poet. You're usually very popular. By the way, have you ever figured out why the Greeks do the snake noise? Yeah, I don't know what that was. I don't know. A way to express strong disapproval. Oh, I see, I see. Well, it goes back to the thing, and I think we talked about this last
Starting point is 00:01:31 time and I've talked, I put it in my last special, but it's like Greeks are Arabs. That's why. Yeah. Right. That's like a real like, like they'll even say like, like I've heard people say, which just sounds Arabic. I don't know what it means I think it's a group and it's like to show displeasure. It's like Which feels very like desert person. Yeah, very and I've said that like we truly the best parts of Greek-culture then like all the food is just like we put our little spin on a bunch of Arabic shit, right? Right, right. Right, you know, Yidda, kebabs.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Turkish coffee, but it's Greek coffee. Well, Greek coffee. Greek coffee, yes. Let's not get crazy. Let's not get crazy. You know what I mean? That's the mortal enemy is the Turks, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Absolutely. What about the Albanians? Are they okay? No, they're more the criminal class of our country. Are they like your migrants? Yeah, exactly. Yes, literally, yes. Although now it's been so long that I do feel like Albanians are sort of at the, in the Greek caste system of undesirable Eastern Europeans, Albanians I feel like now you've kind of have, you've kind of clawed to the near the top and say in thousands of years but we're passing you on the escalator passing on let's not get fucking insane here you just got debit cards last year you're not passing us motherfucker I rematch turtlenecks got you fucking acting
Starting point is 00:02:53 out you know like what a black guy money right there. Which by the way, shirt, no shirt, same amount of coverage on his neck. Whether it's got a turtleneck or not. Dude, Albanians are sneaking in everywhere now. My family went out to this new restaurant in our neighborhood the other day and we thought it was like, you know, it's Italian food, right? Italian place and we're really enjoying the food. Like everyone's eating. And then my mom, the owner came over and was nice, oh welcome to my new place, whatever.
Starting point is 00:03:24 And my mom was like, what part of Italy are you from? And we're all eating. And he was like, oh came over and was nice. Oh, welcome to my new place Whatever and my mom was like what part of Italy are you from and we're all eating and he was like, oh, I'm actually Albanian and like the whole table. It's like I saw one of my cousins just stopped cutting Yeah, well Albanians I that's the thing that they're between Greece and Italy. So it's like Albanians basically choose, are you going to be, it's the way like, it's the way Jersey, are you Philly or New York suburb? Albanians like, are you a Greek Albanian or Italian Albanian basically? Got it. So you guys are just like that little chunk of the Jersey Shore like right in the middle Where you walk and the filly hat start to turn to Giants?
Starting point is 00:04:10 Wow, yeah, I'm right about that right eldest is there where what else borders it the ocean obviously turkey on the border I feel like no it's on the other way Turkeys, I think there's a lot of I think there's a lot of admiration for the Italian mob what they've right the Mafia Right, that's true. So there's like a real meathead aspiration to that I'm probably like more But that's like more one-sided because I feel like Italy just doesn't give that much of a fuck about them There's more like discourse both ways. We're like, that's why should Albanians like yeah dislike and like each other a little more yeah and there's a lot of Albanians that are Muslim right there's
Starting point is 00:04:49 a big Muslim population that's technically the majority of the world but not you well it's in his blood though it is I have a thing communism stamped it out but all this is half you do kind of albino muz he does away like with that beard you do have a little bit of hijack face. I've been seeing a lot of those family guy Muslim videos on Instagram. He really watches them. I'm ripe for conversion. Now, Eldiz, I could totally see you going Muzz at the end of your life. One more of these Trump executive orders gets through and you're converting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Al-Aqbar, you're going wild. That would be fucking awesome. I could see Eldis pulling some weird shit. Like, Eldis stopped talking about, like, he would talk about going into the Army up until like six months ago. He kept being like, I just think the discipline would be good for me. It's like, you have never.
Starting point is 00:05:36 I've always regretted that I never enlisted. He couldn't play middle school basketball. He's been this high since we were 11. And he thinks he can do the army I love that Eldis is like I'm gonna go into the army but then he comes in dressed like Jane Lynch Oh fuck dude You look like a disgraced Greek Orthodox priest That is true
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah then he just took the collar off Yeah he's a dick Yeah Well let's relax. The Catholics are the d***ers. Our priests get the f*** women. That's how you know. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:06:12 First of all, how can you respect a man who doesn't get pussy? I'm gonna tell this guy my f***ing secrets. This guy doesn't f*** and I'm gonna seek counsel from him. He's 58 years old and just like maybe fingered a girl once in high school And he's telling me what to do about my marriage. No a Greek Orthodox priest, right? He is confide he has to he can't fuck around he has to fuck like he chose his wife I listened to him. He's fucked. It's also funny to think about your priest just like laying it down Right like our priests have kids
Starting point is 00:06:46 Yeah, it's fucking hilarious. Oh, I didn't realize that so yeah full right so the thing is a priest we can't have priests Catholic priests, you know, I'm sorry I'm going on tour after start writing down bits that I think have legs and I think I think you know, how am I gonna respect the priest that doesn't get pussy? It's also like a nice actually I'll just start making notes of this I'm not I have my guests here Yeah, get a word doc together fear boy. Yes, sir. Mr. House. House, Albanian House, sir. It's also a nice strong hand that the priest is, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:35 doesn't have any boys that's not there's a woman. You do not have a boy called. Yeah, there's not. If anything, I think our priests have a little more of the like, is he going to fuck a grown woman? Like a little bit more of the like is he gonna fuck a grown woman like a little bit more of the like because we had I remember what they'll do sometimes for for priests and I don't know where you went to what your church was like Yanni but when we were growing up they would sometimes it you know we had I went to st. Nicholas in Baltimore and we had a priest that he wanted to move out to the suburbs, whatever.
Starting point is 00:08:05 And so they were kind of sending us like priests straight from Greece to kind of like train in America. And they would like whatever. Hello, everybody. Yeah, literally like literally to work on their English. Ravens this week and Ravens. And so we did. We had a guy who was like, sexy. Like they came through, he was looking like-
Starting point is 00:08:27 Like swarthy looking, split black hair. Dude, no, for real, like sexy Rasputin. Yo, nice. He's like, you know Rasputin kind of like didn't bathe, and he still got wild pussy or whatever, and he's still like, you couldn't kill Rasputin for whatever reason. This guy looked like hot Rasputin, and I'm telling you bro the like Goya Greek Orthodox youth of America the Goya moms were on this guy's dick This guy could have if you and I'm not convinced he didn't fuck one of them
Starting point is 00:08:55 Oh, he probably legally fucked them all no no no you got a wife you have to oh you have to have a wife to be Agreed priest so the thing is you choose They give you a choice if you want to be like a bishop, you want to go far. It's basically like you're married to the game. No pussy for you. You want to be like the pope. But if you want to be a priest, you can get married. And then you get, I mean, you still have to,
Starting point is 00:09:17 you're still a dork in that you can't get side pussy, right? But could you be single going into be a priest and then just fuck the- You could date'm saying you couldn't have sex before marriage I don't think okay. I don't know this. There's still a greek man. So who knows bishops and the archbishops can't be married Right, I think that's yes, but the priest can be the priest can but they could also be single as priests and Start dating parishioners. I wonder I don't think you can't no It's not the kind of thing where the priest is a fucking chilies With some fucking divorced bitch and like he fucks her three times and they break up and they go
Starting point is 00:09:55 Get married and fuck your wife like you still have to follow the Bible That's so funny the idea that like the priest would be like, just kind of in an open, like casual relationship with like, parishioners. I would fucking, I mean, I think that's the way it needs to go. I mean, I can tell you from the Catholic side, nobody wants to become a priest anymore. I mean, nobody. Makes sense. It's just, and the numbers are so low.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Like we are selling absolutely no tickets. Well the heat came down, the heat came down. It's like the heat came down. It took a while. It's like the way the mob got kind of you know just dismembered. The Rico, yeah. The Rico. They just. Peto started, yeah, prosecuting was like prosecuting Rico places. Yeah, but I literally my school, St. Mathias, that I went to, my church, they have an Instagram account or they had an Instagram account and they put out a clip of the priest giving a homily I'm like they're starting to do crowd work it was like a priest giving like a good sermon I was like this is how bad it's gotten you go to you go to St. Matthias's follows and it's like look
Starting point is 00:10:57 you know St. Matthias he boys lacrosse yeah it's like it's like it's like young young boys gymnastics yeah the Rizler is just following little boy Like I know the chalamet. Yeah, dude their school I went to grammar school there and then they should say Matthias Catholic Academy whatever shut down last year I'm like they're not and they and they were they were like on Instagram asking me to save the school I said I'm the guy from MTV to They're just like maybe Chrissy can help I'm like no, no, I there's no I couldn't even remotely help MTV to They're just like maybe Chrissy can help I'm like no, no, I there's no I couldn't even remotely I don't believe in the cause either. I how would it you are Catholic, right hardcore. Yeah
Starting point is 00:11:35 Really? He's got you're gonna say you're hardcore. I got fucking Catholic scripture He's like I'm like a soldier in the army. Yeah He's got Catholic monitors. He's like a... I'm like a soldier in the army of God. Yeah. So how many times a week do you attend mass? So, okay, so the thing is with mass, with mass, because I've moved so much,
Starting point is 00:11:54 I haven't found a church that's a good fit. But every time I go visit my mom on a... If I'm in Ridgewood before, on Sunday before noon, I am going to mass with my mom. Okay. You have to, you have very religious. I am going to mass with my mom. Okay, you have to you have very religious She's hardcore religious. She lights candles like she's she lights candles all day for everybody praying all day So but my kids go to Catholic school Doesn't mean anything doesn't well, I mean Catholic school means again, it's not for you
Starting point is 00:12:22 Yeah, I know you're an enlightened guy, whatever, in my experience, Baltimore, Catholic school meant our parents are racist and they can't afford good private school. That's what it is. So they can scrape together three grand a year instead of 12 grand a year. And for their kids to learn never have sex, you can't have, being gay is fake, God created the,
Starting point is 00:12:47 you go to a school where they say God created Earth, and you pay for that. I send my kids to Catholic school so I can technically look you in the eye and say my kids go to private school, but only I know the truth. Yeah. But I'm not actually lying to you.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Yeah. But the only- If you ask a follow-up question, I'm fucked. No, but dude, I remember that, like, as we growing up, so many of my friends were like Greek Orthodox that went to Catholic school, and I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like, we're not Catholic at all. And they're like, and then it was very clear their parents just did not want them around minorities. Right, right. It was, that was the whole fucking reason that they did that. And they're like and then it was very clear their parents just did not want them around minorities right Right it was that was the whole fucking reason that they did that yeah, and they were broke. Yeah, I mean
Starting point is 00:13:29 That's not you your children are in fact. No that well well, but the thing is I we moved to Queens I can't submit the public schools here, and I just thought I just can't do it Probably I haven't looked this up. I you live in a nice area I'm sure the public schools are good It's not that they're It's not even me dude. It's jazz. She doesn't want to come in the fuck. There we go But she doesn't want to send them to public school and she wants a Catholic school But it is I have always felt that way like I'm paying I'm paying for this Catholic education
Starting point is 00:14:04 But the truth is it's like I'm just I just I'm on the cusp of being able to afford a real private school Yeah, I'm out there to the kids will just go to Catholic school The problem is is when the your girls you're gonna you knock yeah, can't let them hike up those dresses. I know that's the thing I know you all roll them up. There's nothing wrong comes of Catholic school No, you know the way the gather school That's like that's a fucking genius right? Um You know that didn't well like I do think per capita Catholic school girls do Fuck faster. Yeah and freakier girls in gather school were the ones that were like well, I can't get my pussy fucked So I guess I'll let my boyfriend fuck me in the ass. I'm 14, by the way
Starting point is 00:14:46 Like that's not like Catholic school makes it so the kids skip all of nature and start doing shit Like, you know, well, we can eat each other's asses God. There's no scripture about that. There's a workaround Yeah, yeah, I remember there was a girl I remember there was a girl who she would I never got any from her But one of my friends back I did it I swear I believe you but she were in Catholic school This was high school. She didn't feel you know, obviously no sex, but even like she wouldn't give full blowjob She would just suck the tip because I guess she felt that was like I'm not committing up the city That's just hot
Starting point is 00:15:22 Yeah, when I was growing up like the first hand job I got was a girl from Saint Saviour's. Shout out to Saint Saviour's. Yeah and it was just I saw the repression from the religion is almost worth how it makes people freaky. Yeah, you know what? Oh this is bad, this is bad, this makes it hot. So it's worth it. That's a good point. Society, like sending your daughters, sending your half-Latina daughters to Catholic school is like paying your daughters your half Latina daughters Catholic school is like paying your taxes. Yeah, the guys In 20 years, yeah, we'll get like you're doing a good service. Yes creating freaky. Yeah, I've Italian half Latina We may want to take them out put them in a private Who knows where the fuck I'll be by the time this kid are high school. I've moved eight times in the last nine years.
Starting point is 00:16:07 How are you feeling about Queens, man? We're neighbors. No. Really? I just, yeah, we're moving, dude. Why? I can't do it. Kid likes to move.
Starting point is 00:16:17 I got to get out to the suburbs. This is crazy. Okay. I want to ask where you went to. What school? You went to public school? I went to public school and then private. Yeah. Okay, nice. So I went to York Prep, the proud school that Robert Chambers went to what school do you went to public school? What I went to public school in the private Yeah, so I went to York prep the proud school that Robert Chambers went to okay, who was the Central Park strangler?
Starting point is 00:16:37 I would love to talk to the York prep teachers and be like hey These are your two former students who turned out worse the Central Park strangler or Marisa Hey, these are your two former students who turned out worse, the central park strangler or Marisa. This was like a huge story in New York. He killed this girl in central park. Damn. And it was like, it was like front page news forever. Robert Chambers. Good looking kid. He was a good looking kid. You remember Robert Chambers? He's out now. Like that. He's out.
Starting point is 00:17:01 You remember Robert Chambers? Of course. He's out now. He's out. We should hit him on the bodge. He's out. He's out. Yeah. and physical well-being, you know what helps me unwind? Cornbread Hemp's CBD gummies. That's right, I'm trying to be a good boy on this tour.
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Starting point is 00:17:53 You're getting safety and purity in these products. They only use the best part of the hemp plant, plant the flower. Again, the most potent CBD you could wrap your grubby little mitts on. Right now, Stavi's World listeners can save 30% on their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com slash Stavi and use code Stavi at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com slash Stavi and use code Stavi. Oh my God. But you know what's funny about the Greek priests? Like when God, you know, it's funny about the Greek priests.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Like when they have a scandal, it's like funny. Like there's one of the funniest ones is he's actually a Westchester priest. And he was the guy who liked I don't know if you know about the guy who put the woman's feet in his face. So he started dating like Jim Noyce. You on this Nortonopolis? The pictures got released. He said that I think he's got his collar on to it or food or art You can pull it up if you can find it Yeah, God forbid you fucking pay attention to where the conversations going who knows what the fuck I heard of typing
Starting point is 00:18:59 I was like whoa is all this proactively Google. He's probably fucking Turtle next near me. Plus big and tall cashmere. Won't get made fun. Doesn't look like old Navy turtle neck. Looks expensive is cheap. Yeah. Three XL tall turtle neck.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Pistachios will think looks cool. Yeah, fuck. No, hold on. Let's see if he even can figure out what to Google. I missed it. Yeah. I was hoping that. Yeah. Yeah. Greek priest foot fetishes. Split that up. Westchester. I respect that.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Where were you? I was typing a note for something else for the episode. Kinky Orthodox priest brought down by cake porn sex tape. This is fun. There it is. No, no, no. The one to the third one. How do you. There he is! No, they're the feed pigs! Come on, man!
Starting point is 00:20:08 He can't show up his turtle face. Look at him, dude! Every time I see this picture, it fucking makes me laugh! Dude, that's my new profile picture, dude! No, the one with him and his bitch? She looks awesome, dude! Look at his eye, dude! He's got a fucking crazy, punky eye!
Starting point is 00:20:24 The walk eye is awesome! The feed picture's so funny! Awesome dude! Look at his eye dude! He's got a fucking crazy cocky eye! The walk eye is awesome! The feed picture is so funny! The feed pic is incredible dude! Pull up the...dude this guy is the man. Pull up the article, I'll just go to the New York Post article. He's got a crazy lazy eye too! He does. He looks...dude...
Starting point is 00:20:40 Respect. I mean... If you had to pick between diddlers and these types of guys No, it's no discussion. The cake he was doing something where he was mushing the caves getting the cake mushed his face or something like that. Yeah, okay Gregor Larkspriece brought down... I mean this guy's got a... Ah, it's so funny. Is he from Greece or America? No, he was a bit... I think he's American. Let's see, let's see. High ranking, high ranking Gregor Larkspriece started kinky sex tapes with his much younger parish school
Starting point is 00:21:06 Principal and was forced to resign after the affair. Yo respect father George Paseas the married 67 year old pastor of spaints st. Spiridon church in Washington Heights Oh right here Wow even impregnated his married lover 45 year old Ethel Buzalas according to sources I like that part up there, forced to resign after the affair quote which he denied for years. He took the helm of Saint Spiridon nine years ago and immediately ordered female worshipers to cover their head during confession. Wow. Yeah, yeah. It's usually how it goes. Yeah, of course. Yeah, the more perfect day they, you know, that's
Starting point is 00:21:43 Bill Cosby, don't curse. Of course. but there was no such not the modesty in the shocking sex videos viewed by the post keep going Oh sit on it on it in one scene the bearded cleric wearing only a white t-shirt Watches his long-haired brunette lover plant her thong clad bottom on a piece of banana bread Respect did was our last wearing stiletto heels, you know, it's interesting. She's bottom on a piece of banana bread. Respect, dude. Was our last wearing stiletto heels. You know, it's interesting. She's she's got a Greek name, but she she looks. Tina. Oh, apparently she's Peruvian.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Yeah. But what's our last isn't that a Greek name? That sounds great. Probably like half Peruvian. Oh, dude, this guy's living the dream. I have Latina, half Greek. I the dream. My dream is to have is to marry some type of
Starting point is 00:22:25 I need I can't go full Greek right I need some kind of high you know it's just like it reminds me too much of my fucking ass you know what I mean like I need somebody and you know I'm a man of the world if I was this guy then I'd be I'd be fucking sitting on banana I'd be putting the whole loaf up okay so she oddly wiggles on the bread until it's flattened. Apparently a fetish known as cake crush. So this is how advanced this guy got. Cheating on his wife as a priest. Imagine how many years of freaky shit he had to do
Starting point is 00:22:59 to get to sit on cake with cellophane to make my dick hard. That's crazy, dude. Think about how fucking freak you have to be to finally get to banana bread. Yeah. Yeah. That's like the final boss. Oh.
Starting point is 00:23:15 I just love that picture of kids in heaven just smelling those things. I know, dude. But honestly, dude, this kid's only going to live once. Like, did he do anything wrong? He's living his life. I mean, I know he had a wife. Yeah, I know that.
Starting point is 00:23:25 But, you know, what are you going to do? They get over it. It's just like this is beautiful. OK, so here's what happened. OK, apparently this lady was Peruvian. She married the scandal blow up in early September when Tom Boazalas, Ethel's husband, emailed Bishop Antonios Paropoulos, the chancellor of the Greek.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Dude, getting getting so cucked, you snitch to the like to the guy's boss Tom you're a fuck it. You got cucked major You go to the head of your religion. You fuck the guy go fuck the priest. You're gonna go be like, um the priest fucked my wife Make him in trouble Plus like how how much of a man of God are you? Your wife is fucking the priest. The priest has the ear of God. So now your wife's pussy is holy. It's holy. So what are you doing? Talk your prayers into your wife's pussy. Exactly. Like enjoy it. I need to be more assertive. Yeah. I want to get a
Starting point is 00:24:21 promotion. Okay, the bishop known in the church by his first name said that bus yes and ethyl then came to see him and the busiest suspended on september sixteenth as per the sexual misconduct that positive the archbishop suspended he's a priest who shot the war no where a parishioners life sat on bread and then ostensibly fucked him.
Starting point is 00:24:47 We're gonna need you to sit out one Sunday. Yeah, that's it. They really, they do, every church treats the priests like star athletes. They're like, it's like Justin Bieber with his N-word video. It's like, these guys make us too much money and we're gonna walk around this. Okay, here's awesome the priest he was leaving for personal and health reasons and confessed to multitudinous sins and shortcomings multitudinous sins and shortcomings that's my next specials name dude that's
Starting point is 00:25:17 a great that's a great name yeah it's great and he said I will now fade out of this world for a considerable time according to God's will He said the big man upstairs made me get my dick sucked Yeah He has chosen for me that I should retire and follow the way of silence prayer fasting and utter devotion to our Lord Please do not ask where I am going and where I will be it's certainly not and then I will be on Yeah, and then and then oh, just interestingly enough, we're opening up a church in Thailand. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:51 This is fun. Oh, he lives in Flushing, dude. Yeah, it's right here. So he made it sound like he was going to some monastery, which by the way, in Greece, beautiful monasteries. One of our good friends His his dad we you know, I went to college with him His dad is one of these guys that like is so he's kind of like your mom It sounds like the Greek Orthodox version where like he literally can't wait to die to meet God He talks about he's like he smiles when he talks about dying to his sons and they went off for Thanksgiving
Starting point is 00:26:25 They went to a Greek monastery and had they said it was fucking crazy It was just like these guys she like these guys Go to fuck they wake up. There's no electric like they don't live There's electricity if you want it But they live in like they live like the closest you came to the Middle Ages where they fall asleep with the song with the when The Sun goes down they wake up in the middle of the night pray or fucking do some work Sleep again wake up at 6 a.m. They eat like twice for 20 minutes and the whole time some guys do so these guys are super hardcore
Starting point is 00:26:55 He's kind of hinting that he would do that. However the New York the the post saying the New York, the post saying, Paseas, who lives in Flushing, Queens, is not in an isolated monastery, self-isolating. Instead, he went to his daughter's home in Chicago. A church official says, messages left. This guy's just like, I have to go, I'm gonna pray. And he's just fucking having a good,
Starting point is 00:27:18 he's at a Bears game. He's got it, he's got it. Pray for him and his wife. He has four grown children, and the lady has three. This is some fucking, this, you know, it's not great, but it is a beautiful story about how you can continue to discover your sexuality deep into your 60s and 80s. It's kind of promising.
Starting point is 00:27:39 It's hopeful. It's hopeful in terms of like, it's not an ageist story. It's a beautiful story of like finding yourself sexually. Because there's like a part of me, like I just turned 40 and I'm like, is like the best years of my life over? Did I experience it all? And then it's like, dude, in 27 years,
Starting point is 00:27:54 you could be sticking banana bread in your ass. Oh no. But that's how crazy things can get. Life is better on the second half. Right, it's better dude. Apparently this woman converted to Christianity when this priest baptized her while she wore a bikini. Oh, so he was just like, fucking rock. I mean, she's legitimately like a hot, black, older Spanish male. Look at this picture.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Look how happy he is. Look at his eyes. Elvis, save this picture. We're getting it printed on t-shirts. This is my fucking hero, dude. this is bringing me back to the church yeah I've been pretty you know I've been legit like this guy she looks awesome dude this is what I want to be like he doesn't give a fuck I mean he might just be looking at another girl I don't know what he's looking at. Well, that's why he probably got it. He has literally a wandering eye. Yeah, so this is awesome.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Apparently he promoted her. She had no education credentials. She was soon promoted to the principal of St. Spiridon Parochial School. That's great. No education, by the way, this is the level of education your children are getting, by the way. this is the level of education your children are getting by the way.
Starting point is 00:29:07 This is who gets to run these religious institutions. Ethel Buzalis. Yeah. She also became a church treasurer and signatory on bank accounts. So she fucking stole all their money. Yeah, they literally, in addition to imposing conservative values, Pesillas ruffled longtime congregants who said he removed controls over church spending and questioned why money was being poured into repairs at the school.
Starting point is 00:29:31 So they were fully, literally embezzling in... Oh, this is fucking awesome. This is the best part, when they started accusing him, he said, Uh, she's a goddaughter to me, that's it. Oh, he's her godfather. She's a goddaughter to me, and that oh yeah he's her godfather goddaughter to me and that's it that's awesome respect to this guy all right um i i love this let's you know any any conclusion he was brought before a spiritual court uh and was convicted in the first degree
Starting point is 00:29:58 spiritual court of the first yeah hilarious yeah first degree of being fucking awesome the priests are like and describe in great detail what you were up to. Well, she sat on bread. Her husband refused to comment on the affair or the pregnancy. He might have gotten her pregnant. He did get her pregnant. She got an abortion?
Starting point is 00:30:18 He did get her pregnant. Oh, fuck. Let's just, and as farewell note. And sex tapes. This is awesome. Yeah, I like that they made sex tapes. Yeah, that is fucking sick. Yeah Fray in his farewell note said he was following the direction of his spiritual father Yet on that frame a frame presides over st. Anthony's we grow the rocks you in Florence, Arizona
Starting point is 00:30:39 Oh, yeah, that's where a freaky old man should go Arizona fucking Nothing but leathery Oh my god, 70 year old sucking and fucking yeah, they he's I bet you would this priest now has a fucking nipple rings Oh, yeah, he's fucking awesome This is the family of a young man who lived there and committed suicide in 2012 contends the death was the result of six years of physical and psychological abuse at the monastery that's the monastery he's going to i guarantee you do dude if you look to this even further he probably did kill tony in like 2014 what do you call a black guy what do you call a black doctor? Nothing, there are no black doctors.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Ah! They killed Tony fucking, fucking Mungalore, and you're like, yeah! Yeah! Say the N-word! You son of a bitch, that was incredible. Ha ha ha ha! Have you ever gotten pussy from a bitch that had banana bread in her ass
Starting point is 00:31:48 As a matter of fact on it you fucking Red bands like That would fucking kill A Greek priest that God put dude if this guy killed Tony now, he would be a hero And I would be and I would demand to be on the fuck. Yeah, if I if what's his name again eldest? Oh Fuck Just know when you watch kill Tony. I come out there with no legs and down syndrome. You like that guy's getting Side George fascias a cross-eyed priest that used to get
Starting point is 00:32:27 Yeah, across side George Fascias a cross-eyed priest that used to get latina pussy on the side dude Doing race Cross these are crutches on back. She's getting fucking rail. He put a fucking hurting on that pussy He's reminding me of Russell Crowe and the Pope's exorcist Great movie, but look at that. What I so funny. It's that's a crutch. She's a piece of ass. Yeah, she looks good She's just had fucking too much banana bread. Yes. All right. Well, let's save this picture I literally want to teach you guys are you're welcome for me introducing you to the coolest fucking priest. Yeah Yeah, what do you got? Yeah, we all in your court who coolest Catholic coolest Catholics. I mean, dude, we don't I don't have anyone Just Google I mean dude, I don't have anyone. I don't have, if you just Google, just Google any state penitentiary.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Yeah. Yeah. God damn. That smile, man. That's a good folks. If you're listening, please tune into the YouTube just to see the, actually we'll maybe make this the episode picture.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Yeah. God damn, that's incredible. And you know what? A thousand percent. He's going to get notified that you were talking about this. Oh, I mean the Greek community. Absolutely. YouTube guys, who's bigger in Greek comedy than YouTube guys.
Starting point is 00:33:35 This guy's going to get notified. Listen, get us a Stamos retweet and we've covered our bases. We've covered all our bases. This guy is great. Dude, we need to actually, we need to dig this stuff further. We have to develop this script. Are you kidding me? I want to play this guy.
Starting point is 00:33:53 This is great. Yeah. We'll get fucking Karen Feehan to play the role. Holy shit. This would be a great movie. This is a fucking awesome movie, dude. Alright. This would be a great movie. This is a fucking awesome movie dude. Alright. Done and done. Are you ready to win Mother's Day and cement your reputation as the best gift giver in the family? Give the moms in your life an Aura digital picture frame preloaded with decades of family photos.
Starting point is 00:34:19 My mother's got one. I'm actually kind of up against it. I've been getting, I got her an Aura frame last year and now I'm fudged. I'm fudged to the gills, cause I don't know, I already got her the perfect present last year. Don't, I might get her two, they're so good. You know what, she just got a new place. Fudge it, I'm going double.
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Starting point is 00:35:09 You know, we're all familiar, I'm at home, I don't have my aura, we know what mine has. AI generated anime girls that Eldis was so, he got it for me as a present, he was so kind to fill it up with the kind of stuff I like to see. Fried calamari, scenes from Heat. Now, you don't want to fill your mommy's or a frame up with that kind of stuff. That's for a degenerate like me. You fill it up with cute stuff. Bunnies, pictures of you as a child, pictures of you
Starting point is 00:35:36 and your significant other. You know, well, you know, hopefully you have if you don't have that pictures of you know, you cleaning your room for once. I know we got some disgusting animals that listen to the show and buying this Aura Frame, this is your time to turn it around. Your mom will start respecting you if you buy this, if you buy the Aura Frame. I can't promise that, but it's a good first step. Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day.
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Starting point is 00:36:24 I'm going to make a fucking movie about a philandering Greek priest. Just every Greek church wants nothing. Actually, that might be nice. I'll stop getting hit up to do, do Greek people ever ask you to do shows at churches? Dude, all the time I've done a few, but not anymore. Is the money good at least?
Starting point is 00:36:38 Do they pay? He's not even that great. And also it's the kind of thing where if you did it and they paid you a lot, they'd almost expect you to kind of give the money back. Yeah. Cause it's a church. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:36:51 Right. It's just trying to take your time from you. And everything in the Greek community goes through the church. So it's like, there are church shows. And also it's like, it's also like, guys, watch one second of my act. Have you guys ever done it and it did not go well because it wasn't what was expected? I, even from a it and it did not go well because it was. Oh yeah. I even from a.
Starting point is 00:37:06 As Port Jefferson. Yeah. Oh really? I did. Did you do Parnos? No, I did stand up. It did not go good. You should have done Parnos. Yeah. Of course. Why don't you start ripping out Mr. Parnos then? Wouldn't that kill?
Starting point is 00:37:19 Yeah. I mean, I probably should have done it. I probably should have done it. I mean, that's what I do. Do you ever do a gig? Did you ever do a gig where like you met you met mix it up like they wanted pannas But you gave him more Risa Or more recent you gave him pannas. Well, the priest might have tried to fuck him if you look like Maurice This policeman would be like, who would owe that to Marisa? That policeman would watch Marisa and be like, give me banana bread, give me banana bread.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Yeah. Yeah. I did one time, I did a corporate aspano in Canada in Toronto for this Greek-like hedge fund billionaire. Hilarious. It was his birthday party. His name was George Soros. Yeah, his name was George Soros.
Starting point is 00:38:01 And I came out in the bathing suit and everything, Graham K. opened for me, he fucking ate it, because how is this supposed to go good? Of course, sure. And then I was just up there in swim trunks with a painted on mustache, just everybody was scared. And I mean, you're talking about Zero, like people did not know what the hell was going on.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Potos went well, it went well. They were all financial guys, I did this video, the Greek financial crisis, so then it caught on with financial people. Right. I remember that video even before we were friends. I was in the Greek community that caught fire. Yeah. And then it caught fire with like financial guys. So this guy, all his friends, they weren't Greek,
Starting point is 00:38:36 but they were financial. I just went up there and like made fun of like corporate greed and stuff. And then it was good. So it went relatively well then. That part went well, yeah. But it was one of those like we were talking about before the show, unorthodox things,
Starting point is 00:38:47 where I'm just standing in the middle of a party. It's like you feel like, you really feel like, how is this, how am I getting paid for, what is this? Well it's also like- People are eating apps and you're just turning around, like hey look at him, how's it going? Where's the money? Where's the possible, he can make the money.
Starting point is 00:39:02 It's fully demeaning where it's like, like it's the money's usually so much that you're like, I'll trade my base humanity for an hour. Yeah. Or it's like, I'll be gawked at by the super wealthy and bomb and feel bad because they're giving me so much money. Yeah. You take the money and that's it.
Starting point is 00:39:20 You feel like a fucking laugh hooker. One time I did one for Goldman Sachs. I flew to California, did it. They took care of the flight and it was good. It was good, you know, like money. And then about, I was supposed to do 45, about 15 minutes in, the guy stopped me, like whoever was in charge, and said,
Starting point is 00:39:37 I'll pay you to stop. So, I got, so I said, I swear to God, I was like on the little makeshift stage. It was like, I said, so you're telling me you're gonna give me the money that you agreed to in full to stop right now. He said, that's what I'm saying, kids. He goes, we'll get back to the dinner.
Starting point is 00:39:53 And he was like, thank you. And I was like, thank you guys so much. And like, you know, a few people clapped and I got out, called my agent. He was like, yeah, we got the money wired. You go to the airport, son. I mean, that feels like it was bad. It is there is more dignity for real.
Starting point is 00:40:07 And I'm not even joking in like sex work. Yes, because at least you know what you're doing. You're good at your job. You can crush it no matter what. You're a pro and like you're there for a service that everybody needs. Whereas like for him being like, just stop, just stop.
Starting point is 00:40:22 It's like, not just just stop. I'll pay you. Yeah, one time I want to go like, hey stop. Just stop. It's like, geez. Not just just stop, I'll pay you. I'll pay you, stop. Dude, one time I saw. You wanna go like, hey, this was your idea. Yeah, this was your, I told him. Yeah, this was your idea.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Dude, I told him, cause normally when I do those corporate gigs, I'll always start the same. I'll be like, this was a bad idea. Why would you do comedy here? And it gets last, but for these people, they were like, no, we know, none of us want this. We don't want this. I was like, I couldn't get out of it.
Starting point is 00:40:42 One time I sold such few tickets, and it was called the DC Draft House. I remember the D I couldn't get out of it. One time I sold such few tickets at what's called the DC draft house. I remember the draft house. Remember the DC draft house? I sold such few tickets at the end of the weekend they asked me to give them money back. And I called my agent at the time and he was like, we made a bad deal.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Like you should do the right thing and give them some money back. That's fucking crazy. I remember driving home from DC with less money than when I started. Damn dude. It's crazy. That must have been right because that room only was around for like what six years. I did it with Sergio Chacon. Sergio Chacon, our guy who works with the both of us and I was like dude I'm gonna pay you obviously you deserve this but just know like I actually have negative
Starting point is 00:41:18 money. How? And he let me keep the money because I saw because my agent at the time tried to make like a bigger deal and I didn't sell anything I sold even less than what they thought and they were like give the money back You're full weekend dude Thursday Friday Saturday Wow, and then I and then I like that room though I like any closed out and then they made me do they're like DC draft house fucking podcast So I just had to like do all that and pay the money. Oh That's crazy. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:41:45 What that will let's talk about this more because it's just purely comedy stuff that nobody cares about. But that's fascinating. Like what year was this? Twenty eighteen early twenty nineteen. Maybe maybe it's early twenty nineteen. Really? Yeah, I'm shocked you couldn't sell more tickets in D.C. I only started for my career. It's it's literally like like my 9-11 bit is legit. My 9-11, I have a my 9-11 bit is legit my 9-11. I have a pre-9-11 world and a post-9-11 world.
Starting point is 00:42:09 9-11 was good for you. Yeah, dude. I mean, it did more for me than it did for ISIS. Yeah. So I could not sell any tickets. That's crazy. I'm talking about not a one, even in New York. And then that thing came out.
Starting point is 00:42:24 And then little by little little they were like, oh, the clubs are sold out. I was like, what? Yeah. So it just changed. And then the good news is like, you're finally starting to separate yourself from that identity. Oh, wait, when are you playing Madison Square Garden? Madison Square Garden, September 11th, 2025. And if you guys want to hear that 9-11 bit, we're going to dust it off. And here's the thing, tickets have been on sale
Starting point is 00:42:46 for about a week or two right now. They're going good, but here's the news. We said this on History Hyenas. Here's how you're gonna know if I need help. Come about June, July, if you start seeing, oh, special guest, Morisa added. Live history Hyenas added. A phone call with Stavi.
Starting point is 00:43:03 It was Stavi. Tim Dillon FaceTimes in. Yeah. With Stavi. Tim Dillon, FaceTime's in. Yeah. Special guest, Andrew Schultz. Hey, Chris is getting married. I'm not married. So the more things you see added on before 9-11, just know. Just know that time nicks game.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Yeah, that's going well. It's not going well. It's not going well. So, so yeah, but those tickets are on sale September 11, 2025. That'd be funny if you're outside the show the day before scalping tickets for your own show. Your own show. You're pure, you're barking for your own show. At the garden. Well, they told me, they told me, they said, look, the good news about the garden is like almost immediately as soon as you put that show on sale sale like 5,000 people buy tickets because of the scalpers so when they suddenly my first ticket update I was like what about the scalpers are the scalpers
Starting point is 00:43:50 Not buying Even the scalpers were like now scalpers are gonna short you Like we'll wait on these we get them cheaper. It's funny, dude It's fine. It's gonna go great. It'll be awesome. That is sick. Yeah, it's sick. For me, it's just like personally,
Starting point is 00:44:10 it's just something I've always wanted to do. And then I almost feel like mentally I could just fucking set myself free and just go right back to Gotham or whatever. That is true. You know, like just say I did it once, I don't need to do it ever again. I actually, to be honest, the pressure of this,
Starting point is 00:44:23 I actually don't ever wanna do it again. I mean, be honest the pressure of this I actually don't ever want to do it again. Yeah I mean I'm even my mind I'm like fucking seven months before this thing it's consuming my life. Well you know five or four we don't know. time this episode comes out. This could be a post-homodus release. Yeah, yeah. In memory. It's going to be easy. I'm going to put it in the memorial.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Yeah. That's so, no, that's awesome. But I'm with you, dude. There is something beautiful about, I like the idea of, I don't know, we were talking a little bit about it before, but it's like, I didn't really get into comedy because of my boundless ambition. I got into comedy to have a good time and chill. And I'm like, I just want, I can't wait to peak. I'd love, obviously I'd love to do MSG, right?
Starting point is 00:45:17 But if it never happens, like I've done some great shit, I'm looking forward to the decline, brother. I'm looking forward to the just like, let'm looking forward to the just like let me just fucking go I belong in shitty like big strip mall club, right? That's where I like, you know You play those shitty ones and then you play like the cool ones down like I have set we play some clubs to tune I'm going on a big theater tour the the dreamboat tour. Please buy your tickets. It's gonna be good The work we're working really
Starting point is 00:45:45 hard on the hour and i buy tickets for wherever i'm at in 2027 yeah i think it's the yeah find a local greek church near you he's announcing a tour that already happened we're halfway through we're halfway through c me whatever Greek church are performing But dude I go to like I'll do warm-up shows in clubs and theaters are cool too obviously I get so fucking dream come true, but it's like I'm a piece of shit that belongs in clubs Sure I need to I should be cut off because some late the waitress the waitress is drunk and she dropped chicken fingers yeah that should ruin my momentum that's what I deserve I don't deserve to be in the same buildings and like Elton John isn't yeah that's fuck
Starting point is 00:46:33 and the best part about that it's like I don't know what happened in society where we got to just fuck I don't know what happened yeah it's like a rock star yeah so I fuck Matt Damon yeah they're stopping. Yeah, yeah. And so I can't wait for, like, what you're, I wanna do something like that. Like, you got your MSG and it's like, dude, if it's all downhill from there, it's great. That's how I, that's exactly how I feel.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Like, dude, I knew I didn't belong at all when after I did the, previously New York City, I did Radio City two years ago, and then the very next day I got recognized at the Queen's Center Mall playing laser tag with my kids. It's like a guy that was like a chapella where like they're not gonna catch him playing laser tag. Yeah because it's just like we don't deserve this just the podcast. Yeah yeah comedy is just one of those things it doesn't really belong in an arena.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Do you ever read Steve Martin's book when he was doing Jackie Stadion? He was like this is not comedy. Yeah like I don he was like this is not comedy Yeah, like I don't know what this is No, no, I did after that the best comedy venue like the bigger ones to do is Beacon Theatre That's the one I love right and you peeled off like four of them there three. Yeah, I loved it So I wanted I was considered shooting. I don't know what I'm gonna do my next special But I'm trying to we're trying to do something special for in New York So I'm trying to get like one of the big like not msg I'm gonna like all or something some iconic you know Radio
Starting point is 00:47:48 City would be great something like that and if that doesn't happen then I want to shoot my next special at the beacon because it's perfect beautiful it's perfect it looks cool has all that fucking sick architecture but you know you know what time it is folks. This episode of the show is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the US, I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for.
Starting point is 00:48:17 We're on the road. We're nomads. I'm not going to lie to you. We had we we booked a nice place, but Eldis is over here. I'm tired of smelling him. I went on booking.com, I got myself, I said I need to unwind. I need a place with a soaking tub.
Starting point is 00:48:33 I need a place that has access to a sauna. Booking.com had that for me. Booking.com's got whatever you're looking for, whatever accommodation you're looking for. Booking.com's got it, baby, okay? You wanna be near some state parks, maybe some museums, maybe you're a dork, they got that. I don't know if they have dork mode,
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Starting point is 00:49:13 on booking.com, booking.yale. Booking.yale. I also, I wanted to go back to, because we got so sidetracked by this priest. We got more sidetracked than his eyes. Yeah. I want to delve into the psychology of why you keep moving. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:31 You know? Because Yanni, you're set up. You got a night. I'm settled. You're settled. You're in the burbs. Mortgage paid. I'm settled.
Starting point is 00:49:39 Mortgage paid. Yanni's good. Couple kids. Conservative Greek wife. She, no, her family is. Her family. Yeah, she's not. I'm remembering the bit. Yeah. I'm remembering the bit about how you want a Republican.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Right. How you want a Republican to have a child with. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great bit, by the way. It's a little less of a headache. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, like, you're good, and you've been good, and you're, and you can't, you're
Starting point is 00:49:59 still fucking. I can't figure it out. What's going on, man? Because I. Kid likes action. Action. I think that's okay so me and Yannis did a we did our first live history hyena show last month or whenever this comes out last year in Washington DC just despite them we're
Starting point is 00:50:15 putting this out next week next week so we did it in Washington DC and then as a joke you know cuz he was driving from where he lives and I was driving from where I live but you know separate cars so it's like a four-hour drive I was then as a joke, you know, cuz he was driving from where he lives and I was driving from where I live But you know separate cars, so it's like a four-wheel drive I was like as a joke I was like we should call each other and just talk the whole way Yeah, and we actually did that that it was a goof and then we're just fucking having fun laughing and there was something that he Said well, I was like that's interesting. That's good insight and I confirmed my therapist. This is accurate Hmm. See my father was a gambler like it is a gambler, whatever. And so they get addicted to losing. Not winning, they're addicted to losing.
Starting point is 00:50:47 And I always thought in my head, I'm not a gambler, I don't gamble on sports, I don't even know card games, that was my father's wish. And I never did it, so I was like, I'm not a gambler. But then it's like, I'm addicted to losing the house, get it back, lose the girl, get her back, lose the career, get it back, lose the podcast, get it back.
Starting point is 00:51:04 It's just like, so it's like there's something with that. But I will say the last few months of my life, I've been very much like, okay, something happened where it's like, I think because I've been living through it, you just get it. I get exhausted. I'm like exhausted by it. Like I couldn't, I used to be, I would move in somewhere and then within a week I'm like, I can't wait to move again.
Starting point is 00:51:23 But now it's like the thought of the thought of even having to move out of this current house is so exhausting to me, which I've never felt before. Normally it was always like couldn't wait, couldn't wait. But now it's like whatever next house I get, it's like I've told my family, like it has to be the right one because we will not. I refuse.
Starting point is 00:51:40 It can't be this one. I refuse to. It's definitely not for sale. No, no, the one you're in right now. No, I'm renting it You're right. Yeah, and I would stay renting but girl kids She's like we need to be settled like I need to I need to know that I can paint a Puerto Rican flag on the wall Sure, sure, and I'm like I can do that. By the way, I mean I just like you can fuck That's what I told her you can buy an extra fucking gallon of paint
Starting point is 00:52:01 That's what I got you get some eggshell to paint over that fuck what Rican flag. I told her, but do you understand the way this works? Like we're renting now and it's fine. I was like, I have no problem with that. I was like, if we buy a house I can't afford, I'm going to lose the fucking house too. Like you're just renting from the bank. Yeah. So I was like, you know, what do you want to do? So I keep just trying to convince her to move to a place that we can afford, but she's just being a fucking woman and not allowing it afford a lot of stuff you're playing Madison Square Garden yeah but yeah but it's fun I'll tell you all fair what you actually you don't make what you think you make I know that's true that's yeah
Starting point is 00:52:34 but at the point stands though that you're not fucking you know I mean like no no but it does feel at times like this business is like changing so much and it's like I used to know like okay to know like, okay, I know what's gonna happen for me in these next couple years, but then it's like, now it's like, I actually don't know anymore. Ticket sales are weird, ponds are weird, these things are always evolving.
Starting point is 00:52:55 So I'm like, why don't we just like stay safe and like not live within our means, but she's like, hello, I'm with you because fucking let's go crazy. Right, right, right. Well you definitely should live within your means. I'm not with you. I'm with you cuz fucking let's go crazy right right right well You definitely should live within your means. I think it's more of a psychological You don't want to fuck it admit. You're just a settled old man Yeah, I think it's like you like cuz you fought you're in a great situation and from an outsider's perspective right?
Starting point is 00:53:19 You're it's still you still refer to the mother of your children as your girl You've been together for a decade. We are engaged now. Oh, wow. That's huge. Every time I say the word fiance, I feel like come come out of my butt. Yeah, I mean, so let's start to put the over under at four years until they actually get married. Well, this let's set the over under at 2020, 2030, when I'll be at fucking Chris's wedding in Staten Island.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm not getting married until we fully acquire Greenland. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. That's my reading.
Starting point is 00:53:58 No, it's true. You know what I mean? This is true to it. Because if you're fucking moving around, it's kind of crazy to be moving around with little ass kids. Yes. And you're just doing it, you're fucking moving around it's it's kind of crazy to be moving around with kid little ass kids Yes, and you're just doing it. You're like, well, no, I'm still I'm still fucking young guy. I'm not married Yeah, I got kids but I can go if I don't like if I don't like the molding in a house fucking you know
Starting point is 00:54:16 What it is to look like because like it's what it is. I had kids I had them at 30 right for comedians Like I almost feel like I'm fortunate but I'm like I had them too young because now I'm more now. I'm more settled insanity No, but now I'm more settled at 40. I'm like oh, I would why would I move my kids anymore? But it's like at 30 when I was like 32 right I was just like you know let's fucking run around You know I was like I was like a coke head without ever doing coke. Yeah Kids he's gonna be these kids are gonna be meeting people in they're gonna be like so your dad You move the light that was in the military. He's like now my dad was Chris de steffie
Starting point is 00:54:51 No, he was on MTV to sky code. No. Yes. I was I was in the army of God More settle now, but I do got to find a fucking house, but these goddamn, the housing market, at least in the New York area, I mean, every real estate agent you talk to, they're like, it's as bad as it's ever been, is right now. So I bought a house during the absolute best time in the last hundred years, and then I sold it, the absolute worst time to ever sell it,
Starting point is 00:55:19 and now I'm trying to buy back in at the absolute worst time in the last hundred years. So it's what it is, I'm Chrissy Good Decisions. You're a real estate mush. So for God's sakes, please come see me September 11th, 2025 at Madison Square Garden. That's fucking hilarious, man. His house was bought by a Muslim family.
Starting point is 00:55:37 That's you. Yeah, so it was just another crusade that we lost. Here's the kind of block I lived on in Staten Island. I'm not kidding. So when I sold this, they were very upset. I lived on a block in Staten Island where for the first six months of me living there I had to tell them that Jasmine was in fact Italian and not Puerto Rican. I just told them all she was Sicilian. Because then they go, because then when you tell Italian guys they're like oh Sicilian, dark skin, she's
Starting point is 00:55:58 dark skin. I said yeah she's Sicilian. And then one day for a party her entire busload of Puerto Rican family came over and then the jig was up And then they were fun and then TT Jerry came over and that was a big problem Yeah, then it's like I brought transgender Puerto Ricans up the hill and they're like what the fuck so then I sold it and then My neighbor though very as it just a last act of defiance. I sold it to a full Palestinian family That's awesome. I just fucking got out of there. Good for you. And I was like that's for Gaza motherfucker. That's good. That is that's legitimately awesome. I just fucking got out of there. And I was like, that's for Gaza, motherfucker. That's good. That's legitimately awesome. I love that.
Starting point is 00:56:28 And I just drove away as they were just loading up their rifles. I watched them all put American flags outside their house as soon as I drove away. The gambling mentality is like you wanna lose because subconsciously, so then you can win again because the whole thrill is about being down so you can get up. So that's the thrill. Yeah, I hated that I gambled a little bit when I was younger and I just hate I it is an intense feeling
Starting point is 00:56:53 But I it's just you feel it really in the pit of your stomach and I could see it just because you want to feel Anything the way fucking people like almost it's like it's like a you know Masochist thing almost. But I couldn't, it was too much for me, man. I think I just don't gamble anymore. But it does feel good when you win. I mean like, yeah, like I don't have a gambling thing, but when you do win, you can see how people get hooked in.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Like that feeling, like free money, you're like, oh yeah. Absolutely. It like speaks to some part of your brain that it's a high. Oh, it's beautiful. Let's go back in again Let's go back in again. So clearly we have two experts two men who are dealing with you know Family life in very different ways, right? Great perspectives fatherly perspectives. Also, you know what having a family and kids and being a comedian is Challenging. Yes, it's challenging in a way that is-
Starting point is 00:57:45 We are one of the most persecuted minorities. Yeah, we are. We really are. Being a white man in comedy and having a family is not easy. It's not easy being a white guy. In America, being relatively good looking, being healthy, it's not good.
Starting point is 00:57:58 It's tough. We try to take our free speech. Definitely everyone who complains about that doesn't have $100 million. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well you know it's like musicians go and they tour and then they're home comedians we tore for two days come back or like you know or and Leo tore for a couple weeks cut and you like having kids and doing that is very difficult because normal people go to work to come home they see their kids
Starting point is 00:58:23 every day yeah when you torn and you come back and then your daughter's like a little taller, right? This is especially when they're young. Yeah, that's like very tough like my friend has a my friend has a fucking two and a half year old and Her husband like travels for work and it's like he'll be gone for like not a long time five days And it's like this motherfuckers picked up a new skill yeah 100 you missed like it's very him understanding past tense yeah you know what i mean like well dude and then they get older like my oldest one my daughter is nine and now it'll be like like i have to go away next week i have to promote my hulu special coming out february 21st on hulu or it's
Starting point is 00:59:01 probably been out for eight months yeah it's been out for a year and it's doing great, but I have to go Oh, let's start a cult also has been out on Hulu for a little long Yeah, it's been but my daughter she goes um so you know I have to be gone from like February 10 to the 16th And she goes um my daughter's like oh, I wasn't gonna daddy has work. You know whatever doing this and that she's like great She's like so another Valentine's was like, you know, daddy has work, you know, whatever, doing this and that. She's like, great. She's like, so another Valentine's Day, you're going to miss with me. And then I'm just like, fucking shit. And then and then and then I start to get mad. I'm like, well, I have to do the shows in San Francisco because your mother wants a house in fucking Westchester.
Starting point is 00:59:36 You just start getting that's smart. Yeah. Well, I love that. I love that strategy. I think I need the passive aggressiveness. I really like. Yes. From you, the kind of emotional immaturity and passive aggressiveness yeah and so let's see if we can apply some of these this great advice not just to your daughters but to our my children the people who call into Stavis yes so let's see what we got here I'll just play us a couple questions. Hey, Stavi. Hey, Elvis.
Starting point is 01:00:06 And hey, Guest. Thank you for always having an awesome show. I have a question for you. So, I've been married maybe 14 years, 13 years, 13 years. Been with her about 15. Okay, the opposite of Christopher Stefano. I'm not sure if you know about what late 30s women are reading right now.
Starting point is 01:00:29 It's books I can best describe as fairy porn. Yes. And my wife is reading these books like crazy. And she's getting more and more sexual, which is great. She's asking how to spice things up. What do I do here? What? She's into fairy porn,
Starting point is 01:00:52 like she's into these romanticy books. I mean like, do I have to read them to see what these like, empires and fairies and elves are doing? Do you have to read them? I mean, you don't know how to fuck your wife. Yeah, put the fucking elf head on and fuck your wife. I mean your wife Yeah, a problem. Yeah, I've gotten fucked
Starting point is 01:01:14 All I want to do is pork my wife Because there's baby toys Yeah, dude, what are you talking about how to spice things up. Go to the fucking bodega, get a piece of banana bread and go and sit on it. Dude, go to Amazon, get yourself a fucking fairy costume and put your wife's face on your dick. That's how she wants to get fucked. You do it, dude.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Get a sword handle, but the end is a dildo and fucking fuck her like that. You know what I mean? That's it, dude. Hire a couple little a couple little people throw them in else costumes and go wild Listen dude, either you could fuck your wife or Peter Dinklage will Yeah, do you man and don't ask me cuz you know like you even talked about it stop you like oh you give us relationship advice Here's my here's my life I just recently got engaged like three weeks ago
Starting point is 01:02:05 and I looked on the nightstand last night and Jasmine's reading a book that's called Single on Purpose. This is interesting though like the romantic like these romance now I think that is a thing a lot of women are reading sort of like, I guess it's always been big, like growing up, it was always, the joke was like the Fabio style romance novel covers, it's just that. I mean, women have always, this is pornography for women. It's always like the most heinous shit
Starting point is 01:02:43 you could ever think of. It's always like some knight kidnap or a cowboy. It's like,'s always like the most heinous shit you could ever think of it's always like some night Kidnap or a cowboy. It's like all it's different flavors. Some is cowboy some is yeah, but it's always genre based and it's always like Sort of sexual assault. Yeah, they're not like Weird they're not visual and women are not right. It's about the it's about the narrative And so may I would say picking up from this guy? What I am picking up is an almost, an insane lack of aggression in every way.
Starting point is 01:03:12 No assertiveness, no nothing. He's been with this woman for 15 years and he's like, aw shucks, how do I fuck her? Let me call these guys on a podcast, what guys, what do I do? Yeah, and so what she's looking more so than Putting on a fucking Robin Hood costume you got a fucking just kind of be a little more aggressive Yes, a little more assertive you have to like try and be and look you're clearly been bottling up your resentments
Starting point is 01:03:40 You're too much of a coward to bring them up. I can tell that from his voice Put fuck fuck them out. Yes. She's annoying. She does. You know what I mean? Like is she come on What what does she do to piss you? Give me some examples of why take some alpha brain and fuck you. Yeah What are some wife pet peeves of you that you guys have for example that we can tell them? Jesus yeah, just I mean how annoyed as soon as I wake up. Yeah Jesus Christ. Yeah, I mean, she's annoyed as soon as I wake up. Yeah. You know, like.
Starting point is 01:04:06 I don't know. It's like, yeah, I'm sorry, hon. I'm sorry that all I'm trying to do is give you and the family everything they've ever dreamt of. Let's maybe be more general and not exactly, you know, like, yeah, like, get mad at her for when she's pissed off, you're going to levity live on a Wednesday. We're looking for more general advice than your life. Yeah, I bet you she's probably fucking pissed at him because he's on his phone. I'm like, I fucking work on the phone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that not everyone can just
Starting point is 01:04:34 fucking spin, honey. We're getting closer. That's all, that's more of a universal experience. So I would say, yeah, on the phone is probably something that's pissing him off. She's probably always bitching at that. She's probably asking him why he's, why, you know, if his show's ended at 10, why he's home at 1130. And we're back, we're back to sort of, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I don't know, there was traffic on the major ticket and also I like to fuck a massage parlor.
Starting point is 01:04:56 I'm stressed, it's a legitimate one. It's a legitimate one. They don't jack you off a massage envy. It's a procedure. My penis is massage envy. Yeah, it's a procedure Procedure done, but yeah, dude, I think that I'm sure that I'm sure I'm sure she's probably just like bitching at him Like that. They don't have enough. They should be doing better. My women are oh it does Jeff Bezos his wife You like you're not Begged you to get off to a more general example, and this is so
Starting point is 01:05:39 What is annoying you take it out on her in the bedroom? Yeah, you know, I think you got to get a little angrier here This is she's kind of look that's my hunch. Anyway, I don't know see what you said But these are that's what these books are like You don't have to read them if you want to just kind of see how you want to behave You don't got to she just wants you to manhandle her a little bit Maybe we're a fucking cop and I actually don't know if she wants to wear a costume because it might be one of those things like She wants that in her little section of her brain for her and she wants him to be different.
Starting point is 01:06:07 True. So you gotta, yeah, there's one solution to all this. Women are always over-complicating, oh my God, I love them doing this. Just eat her pussy. Yeah. And you're good. And really just all you gotta do is eat her pussy.
Starting point is 01:06:20 But with command. Yeah. Eat her pussy like you mean it. With command. Yeah, and do it from the back where you get the asshole in the post at the same time There we go finally Good advice. All right. Well, good luck buddy We're I mean they deserve that women dude. You got to admit they carry us for nine months
Starting point is 01:06:38 Yes, they get their pussies ripped open right stitch back up They get these children to suck on their tits, ruin their tits forever, ruin their body. The least we can do is eat her pussy. I agree. The least we can do is eat their pussy and I'll get a blowjob once a year. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Yeah. Yeah. But when I see how great my wife is with my kids, I'm like, this is what, I'll just eat her pussy. I love who this is. Now the FBI's involved. Yeah. They're yeah, I'll just eat her pussy. I love it. Yeah now the FBI is involved. Yeah When he sees his kids he thinks of eating I love tracking Chris's relationship with appearances on Stavis world The stuff he's been mad about over the last three years
Starting point is 01:07:23 I don't like stuff the final the last version will be you just starting the pod because I woke up sleeping on your couch like these birds come through now, I live in the studio the great thing about being friends with Chris is you get the stories of someone who's lived 20 years in two days he's got a lot of stories, a lot happens in two days alright so eat some pussy, be forceful about it. Good luck little buddy. What else we got, Eldis? Where are we, Eldis?
Starting point is 01:07:50 How did we get here? I'm feeling, I feel like we just, maybe what we did was- Oh, we kept it too twisted. We kept it so twisted and we got from Queens to the basement of a Chicago home we're staying at? Whoa, we're keeping it twisted as a mother effing bitch. Oh, it's time to keep it twisted with some delicious half and half. By the way, purchase with my own dollars. This wasn't sent to me by the Twisted Tea Corporation.
Starting point is 01:08:30 Mmm. Oh man, I can't wait to keep it motherfucking twisted as hell, Elders. I guess we've traveled dimensions. Oh yeah. To promote the Twisted Tea Corporation and keep it twisted as a motherfucker motherfucker Absolutely, we need to help someone who has a really fucked up Twisted ass motherfucking question of the week. Oh, yeah. Welcome to the motherfucking ass twisted question of the goddamn week, baby sponsored by twisted tea travel edition
Starting point is 01:09:03 Yes, that's right our producer forgot to record the right amount of twisted ad. So here we are really late before we have to check out of an Airbnb to keep it twisted because somebody can't read a schedule. You got to keep up in this fast paced media landscape man. Someone was keeping it too twisted when he was scheduling all our recordings, it seems like. But hey, we're in the twisted zone right now. We're keeping it twisted as a mother-fucking-badge. And let's find out who we're gonna help
Starting point is 01:09:35 and what the twisted ass motherfucking-ass question of the goddamn week travel edition is. Stavi, LD, what's going on boys? And esteemed guests, can't forget them. Got a little bit of a situation. Last night my girlfriend, she was getting back from a week long vacation. I was supposed to pick her up at the airport at midnight.
Starting point is 01:09:59 About 10.30 rolls around, I sat down to charge my phone and next thing you know I wake up at 2 a.m. Safe to say, she wasn't very happy. Getting the silent treatment today, giving me the cold shoulder, telling me she'll talk to me when she's ready. What do you boys think I should do? I'm between a rock and a hard place.
Starting point is 01:10:19 I know I fucked up, but also, I don't know where to go from here. Any advice is appreciated. Much love to you boys as always. And let's go Ravens. Peace. This guy kept it way too fucking twisted. Keep it twisted. Charge your phone.
Starting point is 01:10:34 Buddy, what the fuck are you talking about? You're in a car, dickhead. You charge your phone in the car. Didn't he say he was supposed to go get her and he was like at. OK, it's 1030. He's got to pick it up. First of all, this man's keeping it twisted as hell because when did this happen in the chronology of this call?
Starting point is 01:10:58 Like the day before? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this guy's like, look, I fucking tried everything. He can't even give his girlfriend one day to be mad You left your girlfriend at the airport and fucking it wasn't the middle of the day It's fucking too. It's weird in an airport of fucking 1 a.m. 2 a.m. You're probably not answering your phone You kept it to fucking twisted chief. You should have dialed it back a little you weren't even Your excuse wasn't even that you were having a delicious ice cold twisted tea. Boo. You just took a nap. Pussy. Pussy that fucking doesn't love his girlfriend. That's my verdict. Maybe I'm keeping it twisted as fuck tonight.
Starting point is 01:11:38 Maybe she's keeping it twisted on him. Maybe she's keeping she's twisted up and down on another man's prick because this guy left because because this guy didn't get her in time from the airport. Maybe she's keeping it so twisted. This was the misstep she was praying for. Right. We've all been there. We've all been there. She's like, I'm sick of his fucking ass. You're like, fuck.
Starting point is 01:11:59 I need something that'll spark the narrative. My feelings have been gone for months. And she's like, thank you. She was like, I didn't think it would be something this easy. I'm gonna hold this over him instead of just getting a fucking Uber or something. Yeah, I know. I mean, that's, look, it is true.
Starting point is 01:12:17 Just get a, first of all, get a fucking Uber. Who are we kidding with this airport bullshit? The airport, I mean, I guess who knows what town they live in, but New York City, bro. Like, would I even pick my mother up from the, I guess my mom is the one person. Keep it twisted. But if I'm keeping it all the way twisted, no, she can't, I'll get her an Uber black. I'll fucking spring for the, she'll come in in a Lincoln Navigator, but I'm keeping it twisted at home, dude
Starting point is 01:12:46 Going to JFK from fucking, Queens. Now. We're getting a little too inside New York City But now he might live in a shitty little town with a little dick-ass Airport where it might be hard to get a I mean still the airport is the one place you get a fucking car No matter what yeah Now you kept it too twisted. You're keeping it twisted to the double max by not, by being kind. He sounded annoyed that she was mad at him. He's like, look, I get it,
Starting point is 01:13:14 but I'm getting the silent treatment. It's been eight hours. She ostensibly went to sleep. So I guess she doesn't get home till fucking 4 a.m. She's fucking hitchhiking. I am curious if she just waited there until 2 a.m. when he fucking woke up. But I would assume no. But you never fucking know. She probably waited a bit. Yeah. I mean, you probably waited an hour. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:42 It's also like, what if something happened? She's probably also kind of worried. That's what kind of compounds this, is if this happens and you ask your significant other to pick you up and they don't answer their phone and you're calling, because she's probably calling like, hey, he doesn't answer. She's also probably like,
Starting point is 01:13:59 fuck, is he in a car accident? And then it's like, oh no, he just, also 10, 30, what were you doing buddy? What's your job? Were you a foreman? Were you on the construction site since 4 a.m.? You kept it too twisted. What do you do from here?
Starting point is 01:14:22 I don't know man, you just kinda, you probably give it one more day and it's probably okay. You kinda shot, look, you kept it too twisted even calling us, to be honest with you. Yeah, you gotta give that one a little time. Give it a second, you motherfucker. It's kind of annoying, but.
Starting point is 01:14:37 Yeah, or. Or maybe she kept it twisted. Maybe she's keeping it too twisted. This guy's already fucking, doesn't even have a girlfriend anymore this you're so right this could easily become a thing where it's like You know, I just at that moment I realized I'll never be a priority and I know you didn't mean it and I know you're tired
Starting point is 01:14:58 Like if she hates him, she's so good here, dude. Yeah, this is unimpeachable Excuse to break up with someone. Yeah um I would say you're you know, the problem is this guy's in the keep it twisted no man's land You either got a fucking really twit dial it up and keep it to be like get off my back You fucking bitch I work you were on fucking vacation. I was at fucking work trying to pay for your fucking shit. If it goes more than one day, I say, turn the dial up and get even more twisted
Starting point is 01:15:33 or turn the dial all the way down and just be like, oh, okay, like she wants to give you a sign of treatment? You're good, go out, get some ice cold twisted tease with the boys. You might attract your next mate. Yeah. Your options are get a twisted tea with her and squash the beef or say fuck her and get a twisted tea with the guys. And you know, it wasn't meant to be with this bitch anyway. Amen brother. I don't think I could have said it any better myself, Eldis. And that'll do it for this week's Twisted Ass Motherfucking Question of the Week.
Starting point is 01:16:11 Let's get back to Chris DiStefano and Giannis Pappas. Oh, what the fuck? Oh, oh no. What else we got, Eldis? Hey, what's up, Stav, Eldis, esteemed guests or guests. Long time, first time. So listen, I'm an emergency room doc in Baltimore and I'm calling in, I think with maybe more of a serious or even you could even say kind of a bomber of a question but really curious to kind of hear your
Starting point is 01:16:47 thoughts and get your advice especially as a local guy i've worked here a number of years now i live in the area i'm not from here but um i've certainly settled in and listen i love my job i love being an er doc love taking care of a lot of gunshot wounds but i'll be honest with you man um it's uh you know it's rough and i work in a rough neighborhood I'm a hard doc, love taking care of the people I call. A lot of gunshot wounds. But I'll be honest with you, man. It's, you know, it's rough and I work in a rough neighborhood. Yeah, faulted. I'm sorry to say, I'm starting to feel some
Starting point is 01:17:13 professional burnout to put it in the lingo. You know, there's like so many Start a podcast. Overdoses you can see and abuse and violence. Is the end of this voicemail gonna end with a gunshot? Or really forget you. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather be the doctor than the patient, be on my side of the stretcher, and I'm grateful for every day I have in my career, and things are good generally.
Starting point is 01:17:35 Sounds like a suicide note. But I'm just starting to feel that burnout. So as I was saying, I'm grateful for every day that I have. When he starts talking like he's fucking, you know, like he just survived an overdose. That's tough when you're just like, and you know, it's just about, we're all just matter, man.
Starting point is 01:17:55 We're all just part of this whole system. Keep going, let's see what, he just seems depressed, but let's see what he's got. Generally, but I'm just starting to feel that burnout and working the American healthcare system, as you might imagine, kind of sucks. So listen, I'm just looking for some tips, advice, your perspective, I'd be curious to hear.
Starting point is 01:18:15 Where do I go from here? I am ashamed to say I'm thinking about career change long term but not just yet. A partner wants to kind of fix the system, bottom up, top down. I'm not sure Looking for your advice on the manifesto Show Are you familiar with a man named Luigi Mangione. Let's go Luigi mode. If the end of our voicemail would have ended
Starting point is 01:18:47 like, Ma, I'm doing the voicemail! I would have known that that's Luigi and this is actual evidence. Dude, I would love if we found a voicemail from Luigi. Hey Stav, I've got some back problems. I've been rejected from healthcare. it seems kind of counterintuitive you know these guys are allowed to murder through spreadsheets but what you know it's like by the way we would have told Luigi we would have been like legally we can't tell you what to do but sounds like you're on the right track I'd encourage you to go to betterhelp.com. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 01:19:27 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and they're just stealing your information Oh, yeah, I didn't know that which is like, you know hilarious to do for mental health, but okay So this guy is an ER doctor he's burnt and it's like it's like and I get where he's coming from fully, right? This fucking job suck. Especially in Baltimore. It's like gunshot wound gang related. Yeah any ER position even if you're not involved with it like it's like being like
Starting point is 01:20:06 um, i'm feeling kind of burned out like i'm tired of seeing like Emergencies and abuse and it's like it's like being like well, I just like I'm so tired of Lunch meets and it's like but I work at subway. It's just like you've picked You you work at the Tragedy factory, right? And it's like yeah, you're sad, right? You know what I mean? It's like like you've picked you you work at the Tragedy factory right and it's like yeah, you're sad right you know I mean it's like it's like I It's like being like vegan and working at a slaughterhouse like you're just like you have a shitty Yeah job that sucks dick that we don't yeah like pay enough. Well. Here's the deal
Starting point is 01:20:41 I don't know if you guys know number one profession that commits suicide is doctors Yeah, I heard doctors and dentists. Yeah all the cops No, they do they commit suicide a lot come because they're the the the Internal investigations is closing in on them Because they thought they they could have swore they erased the body cam footage, but it turns out there was a backup on the cloud. My daughter's godfather is an ER doctor and he would always say like how you think that after 10, 15,
Starting point is 01:21:19 he's been doing it like 15 years now, but he's like you think like, oh, it'll just like get easier to like have to tell a family member like hey Yeah, so much so and so didn't make it. He's like, but it just doesn't it's just hardly He was like, it's just hard but the reason why the only Positive thing about being an ER doctor obviously nothing to do with with the work you have to do Is there the only doctors like they work a shift like a nine to five where other doctors are like on call always So he was like at least I feel like as an er Doctor, it definitely sucks, but I can't escape it I'd be like you can't get in touch with me for a week where if you're like a surgeon
Starting point is 01:21:52 You gotta uh, you're you're getting sucked into it at all times. Yeah Well and exactly like I that's crazy. He's been an er doctor that long dude That's fucking we're the same age and i'm like, you're so much fucking I mean this kid was the youngest that long. That's fucking nuts. We're the same age and I'm like you're so much fucking, I mean this kid was the youngest person to run an ER in all of New York City. That's crazy. He was like 30 years old running the ER where I was like you know fucking trying to figure out how to sell out the Maui taco. Yeah, dude, I mean and so I think the I don't think there's any shame in being well in doing this job for like these these are the kinds of jobs that to me, this should be the kind of thing
Starting point is 01:22:28 where you almost do tours of duty. And it's like, the way it's like, you can't go, you can only go to war this many times. Why do you have to do this forever? You have this narrative in your head that like, you did it, you did a great thing, of course change your career. And that you're a failure for, like no dude,
Starting point is 01:22:42 first of all you're in medicine if you wanna, and yes The fucking American health care system is a fucking nightmare right and and so you know all you can do You it's not a problem to look for a fucking career change long term I've had people in my family who were nurses in the ER and then we're like I did this for a while It's too. I want to fucking have a family. I want to do this It's too stressful, and then they got like jobs that are like Kind of could you know you work at a fucking optometrist officer you work at a fucking but you know you yeah
Starting point is 01:23:13 Pediatrics you're fucking getting insoles for people instead of yeah, and i'm sure I don't know what kind of lifestyle he lives, but er doctors make good money, right? But i'm sure like you're a very intelligent guy you could even if you're making less money You'll be happier doing something else. It's for sure. Or else you're gonna start or else you're gonna be the doctor that cuts the wrong leg off. You keep taking the stress to work. Yeah. Everything in this seems normal to me except I want to change it from the top down. I says they want to fix the system. Yeah. You're don't get started. You're not doing nobody can fix anything.
Starting point is 01:23:47 Yeah, the thing is, too, it's like it's also like they're thinking that way. It's like these delusions of grandeur. It's like, dude, you run an ER in Baltimore. Nobody cares. Just stop. Yeah, you're doing these guys are heroes to me. They have nurses, cops. They have difficult jobs. I think you're right. Have an expiration date. Move on. Become a podiatrist
Starting point is 01:24:05 But you know go to a pediatrician after this You can't yes make it easier top-down change. You're not doing unless you See oh, yeah, don't do that. Don't do that. We're mixed Mixed on that. Yeah, I'm saying no no violence point counterpoint You know, I would say they commit unspeakable violence More violence isn't the answer. I don't know. You know, in the in the balance, it's like a little violence to take down a lot of violence.
Starting point is 01:24:32 A lot of people got to prove that next week. Luigi saved a lot of lives those two weeks. United Health Care was not turning down any chemo for two weeks after Luigi went Luigi mode anyway. You think he's like the John Brown of the healthcare system? I think it's not, I literally for real don't think it was, I mean it was not good to f*** someone, but it's like, Yeah, cause it's not the CEO, it's the system.
Starting point is 01:24:55 So that CEO is just a Sure, but the, you know, that's a system that has completely escaped any responsibility for what they do. And in fact, we laud these people for, you know, they're cutting costs, but it's like, that means human life is, they legitimately kill people for money.
Starting point is 01:25:14 And so, that like, to me, it actually, just forcing this conversation of, is one guy worse than saying, oh, we have to up our profits 2%. So we're actually not insulin is now 800% more expensive than 40,000 people or whatever number would like. Is that work? I really don't think killing one guy is worse than how healthcare companies, you know, operate
Starting point is 01:25:41 on a day to day basis personally. Right. And at least having that conversation and Obviously, I don't want a fucking guy to die But I don't want I don't want the people that were rejected by health insurance companies die either, right? So either whatever but we also need a longer conversation not about Like the health of this country the process for who's what's allowed that's a negative. Can we we are the number one? What's allowed that's that if can't mean we are the number one country and preventable fucking and I agree And yeah, my argument would be which puts a burden on the health care system
Starting point is 01:26:10 Which makes it tough, but my argument is profits at all costs and let's let's be honest. We let these people live too long Think about the young people eyes kind of tough plug Keeping you alive for on a machine? Yeah. Say your prayers, go to church, and put them out on a pole. We can do it in a fun way. Yeah, fun way. Big catapult. Yeah, just catapult.
Starting point is 01:26:32 Yeah, just like a jackass movie for elderly people where you just fucking launch them. I mean, you know how expensive it is to keep some of these people alive? Oh yeah. Yeah. I know it's difficult in situations. No for definitely but yeah either way the point is I'm joking you can't I think all people should yeah die if they want to also that's another bullet. Oh yeah let them do the assisted suicide all day. Put them in that cool Danish pod where you get the load up on drugs dude there's no consequences. Give them one of those
Starting point is 01:27:00 Japanese dick sucking machines. Yeah. it's the Chinese sperm extractor. Yeah, exactly, Chinese sperm extractor. So we've got a lot of, you know. I got one on Timo. Yeah. Yeah. You better hurry, the tariffs are coming, Chris. Oh yeah. So the point is, we have competing ideas
Starting point is 01:27:17 of how to affect change at the highest levels, right? But. Stavros is going for CEO. Yeah, yeah. But, and I agree that most people are not cut out for that. Stavros is going for CEO. Yeah, yeah. But, and I agree that most people are not cut out for that. Stavros is in for a long four years. He's holding on for fucking dear life. It's gonna be tough, but it's whatever.
Starting point is 01:27:36 Now, but I do think you could make small changes and like, yes, are we gonna, are we realistically in our lifetime going to get the ideal system that we'd like? But no, probably, right? But as a doctor, if you open your own practice and you help people out with their, you see people who don't have insurance. Like when I didn't have insurance,
Starting point is 01:28:00 I got, I went to a doctor who fucking worked with me, I needed an MRI when I fucked my foot up. I didn't have, it was right before shit was going good for me, I didn't have fucking money. And this guy was just like, look, insurance over fucking, they charge two grand for these things, it doesn't cost us that. If you can just come here and wait around,
Starting point is 01:28:18 and just when, if we have a cancellation, or we have in between, we can just do your thing real fast, we'll do it to you for 250, right? And in fact, I found when I didn't have insurance, doctors were cool about working with you and figuring it out. If you could do your time, essentially, your time here doing a good thing and getting burnt out,
Starting point is 01:28:37 and then what if you started your own practice where you did help people out and you treated people with the kind of respect. That would be changing the system. That would be the change in the system. That's what I mean, like don't think about the whole system exactly what you can do exactly and so there's no and this weird shame you shouldn't it's I think we're all confused why he's like ashamed yeah
Starting point is 01:28:54 to be burned out it makes sense to be fucking burned out I was a fucking tutor in Baltimore City for a year and I stopped because I was it was fucking sad and I was also realized like, I can't, you have to commit yourself so fully to this that it can't be the kind of part-time job you do while you actually care about stand-up, right? So it's like, yeah, working in these, being a teacher, like these are tough jobs to do.
Starting point is 01:29:20 And if you can't do it forever. You can't be in the ER forever, you can't. And I'll tell you, I don't know if you have, have you guys ever gotten like hurt, had to go to the doctor or hospital in another country? Not Albania. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have.
Starting point is 01:29:31 So what was your, where your experience was good? Incredible. Dude, I got an infection in my finger randomly, just chewing my nails in England. Happens to me all the time. In like 2012, I think it was 2012. And so my finger was like blowing up, like my finger and then it went to my wrist into My elbow it was like it was like just a situation that fuck it just I was like a real like nasty Infection yeah, like I couldn't even close my hand and I had I was only in England for like four days
Starting point is 01:29:57 I still I was gonna be there for like another ten days like I had no money back then like so I did why were you There I was doing the the V festival. I was like I like no money back then. Like so I was doing the V Festival. It was like one of those things I like paid my own way out there, it was me and Mike Lawrence. And we were- Did you guys hook up? Oh yeah, and we were staying in a house, like in the outskirts of London
Starting point is 01:30:18 from like some like older comic, whatever. So I had to like call my mom, like I didn't actually know what to do. And she was like, honestly, just go to the ER right now and whatever it is, you call me and I'll wire you the money. Like thinking like, if my mom was like, this costs you $10,000
Starting point is 01:30:33 because we're thinking American system. She's like, I'll just give you the money. Like you have an infection, it could go to your heart and whatever. So I was like, okay, so I go in there and I can't even hold a pen because my hand is like all fucked up. And so go and though and the ER it's like, you know a little desk and I'm like, hey like, you know I have an infection in my finger and she was like, oh lord and I was like, yeah
Starting point is 01:30:55 And she was like just fill out your information. So I fill out my information my left hand. So it's not you it is not legible You cannot read what I'm doing and I'm'm putting like my address, my mom's address. And it's just all, I don't even have, I don't even know the address for anything. And I give it to them. They go, oh, that's fine. And then the doctor is just there, like behind the desk. And he got full scrubs.
Starting point is 01:31:16 And he goes, what's going on? I was like, oh, my infection in my fingers. Let me see it. So he showed it, he goes, that's an infection. And I said, yeah. He goes, are you allergic to penicillin? I said, no. He was like, you sure? And I I said, yeah. He goes, are you allergic to penicillin? I said, no. He was like, you sure?
Starting point is 01:31:26 And I was like, no. He goes, all right, come around here. So he opens a door, like just a little thing, and I go in and he gives me a shot of penicillin. Like almost, I'm talking about within 90 seconds. He gives me a shot of penicillin in my arm, and then I don't even have to go to the pharmacy, just gives me 30 days of penicillin.
Starting point is 01:31:42 And then I say, this is it. He goes, this is it, just take that. I have to sign one form and then I'm leaving and they go, oh sir, come back. And I'm like, here we go. Like, and I'm thinking, I swear to God, I was pulling out my phone to call my mom to be like, explain to him.
Starting point is 01:31:56 They came back and they said, also we just found gonorrhea so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That penicillin's gonna be a two for one. Well they said, we assume you know you have SCD. But this takes care of that. But they gave me, they came back to say, they gave me 20 pounds to take a cab home.
Starting point is 01:32:16 Wow. And I was not even a citizen of the time. Yeah. I just want, and so is that an isolated incident where I just, maybe yes, maybe no, but I know for a fact in the United States if I was not a US citizen I tried to walk into our ER and do that that would not happen no no and that's the and look again I do think health care is a fucking human right the way we have like running water the government takes care of water it takes
Starting point is 01:32:42 care of fucking roads it takes care of these roads, it takes care of these basic things. Not only is it a right, but it's also just better for your society if people aren't fucking worried about going into medical. You know what I mean? Just from a cold, rational, your workforce is healthier if you have fucking, you know, healthcare. First of all, I just wanna say this guy.
Starting point is 01:33:00 I was a social worker, and last day I was like I felt like this, I had to put on a full hazmat suit to go clean out. I worked in an SRO which is like formerly homeless people. I had to clean out a guy's room because he had bed bugs and I had to put a full hazmat suit on and that was the day where I was like I can't do this, I just can't do it. So it happens. It happens and there's nothing to be ashamed of. But here is also what I say from learning from that is poor people in this country do have health care. That's the thing. They the problem, the rich people.
Starting point is 01:33:30 I had the best health care when I was on. Yeah. When you're a poor, you get everything. So it's like because I worked with all those. It's a little the system is a little hard to navigate, though. It kind of. But I mean, it's like you're they don't make it easy for you to get. But you're covered. I mean that's the thing, we do have socialized medicine in this country. One thing America does really well is you're covered in theory a lot of the times.
Starting point is 01:33:51 But it's like there's a lot, there's wait lists, they make it very Byzantine for you to get some of this healthcare. Like I was a comedian, I was a college educated, broke comedian with nothing but time on my hands so I could just wait around, fucking get my, but it took a while even for me to get like Medicaid And I will say that it's some of these resources are possible But it's like people don't have the fuck especially if you're fucking working jobs or like they have these programs like childcare that in theory are Available, but the wait lists are really long like we have that problem a lot with our administration Very I mean yeah, it varies it depends on the state you're in the city or in whatever, but they do but the wait lists are really long. Like we have that problem a lot with our administration. It varies.
Starting point is 01:34:25 I mean, yeah, it varies. It depends on the state you're in, the city you're in, whatever, but they do, you know, have healthcare. They do have, you know, they get things paid for, you know. The problem is you go, should we expand that? Cause the people who really get fucked in this country are middle-class cause the rich can afford it. So they don't worry.
Starting point is 01:34:44 The poor covered cause they're poor poor it's the middle that pays everything the middle that can't hide their taxes the middle that pays the tag so it's like that's the real issue in my end well yeah I mean it's like do we expand you know Medicaid to expand it to cover the middle class and I say yeah yeah I say yeah yeah medic Medicare for all profit out to Bernie guys made the right choice and our president's gonna do that You know you do this thing He's got a cell MSG on 9-eleven Chris cannot fucking, he cannot get Staten Island mad at him right now. No, dude, you guys are all in and you guys know the real deal too.
Starting point is 01:35:30 The pre-sale is still happening. Pre-sale code 1776. Chris wants no part of this. Expand socialized medicine conversation. Yeah, I'm like, these guys are fucking mad. Let's see. September 11th, 25. Yeah, but Chris doesn't want to have the, how much do we expand the wealth to help the welfare state? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 01:35:45 I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 01:35:53 I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 01:36:01 I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I in the back. I can promise you guys, the guy who just says Luigi for president. Yeah, not for president, maybe secretary of labor. What? Secretary of health and human services. Maybe Luigi Mangione.
Starting point is 01:36:18 Hey, come on, I'm a moderate. Not president. No, come on. I'm not I'm a moderate No, it's mostly true But you know when you do work in that field you realize like a lot of people just can't be helped you when you were Social worker you realize a lot of it is just like changing medications Hey, a lot of people we get a lot of SROs were meant to take people off the street and give them You know rooms, you know government pay for rooms and that they do that Well, it's a great idea New York has it the street and give them, you know, rooms, you know, government paid for rooms and that they do that well. It's a great idea. New York has it. But a lot of these people I worked with would would go back out on the street.
Starting point is 01:36:50 Yeah, like they just like like being on the street. Yeah, you can smoke crack easier. Get some people to see. They choose it. It's true. So it's it's yeah. And like, you know, you do see a lot of fun than being in a dorm. You do see a lot of waste. You do see a lot of like, what do you do in this situation? It's very complicated.
Starting point is 01:37:06 Yeah, right. Absolutely. All right, well, you know, whatever, guy, you're fine. Don't do anything radical, guy. Just open a nice little fucking mom and pop doctor's office and help people out when they can't, you know, except tamales as payment. And don't ask too many questions about how they got into the country and don't snitch Yeah, right lock the doors when ice comes around. Yeah, and you're a good guy. Good dude, except no Chris. All right, right
Starting point is 01:37:31 No, yeah, fuck you dude. Hey come see my show September 11 migrants get tickets last Chris we're trying to move tickets. Come on. Yeah, come on the bridge and tunnel boys in yeah, we know we love you guys We need them complaining tickets, man, come on. Yeah, yeah, come on. We need the bridge and tunnel boys in. Yeah, we know, we love you guys. We need them complaining how it's hard to park around MSJ. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just in Disney World, and I'll tell you, those costume Disney characters are not taking their heads off for four years.
Starting point is 01:37:56 They are gonna keep those things on. No more smoke breaks. Yeah. They are staying in the Goofy outfits. Yeah, Goofy's working construction now. Yeah. They're thinking of them. My favorite is when the adults try to talk to the costume characters, Yeah, they are staying in the goofy. Yeah, he's working construction now My favorite is when like the adults try to talk to the costume characters and I'm going you know, they don't speak English Goofy is not Americans. Yeah, this is either an immigrant or like a child. Yeah, there's no in between
Starting point is 01:38:25 No, it's not there's no you're trying to talk to like goofy and the kid the guys just talking about how Venezuela's collapsing He's like we don't have anything at all What else we got eldest oh I have a question to you Greek to Greek there we go. So I grew up in a Greek and Italian household 100% Italian, second generation. My mom's 100% Greek, first generation, eldest daughter of Greek immigrants. So the culture is obviously still very relevant
Starting point is 01:38:52 to me and my family, but Greek wasn't a language that I spoke at home because my dad isn't Greek. So my parents wanted me to feel more connected to the culture, so they put me in Greek school. And of course, my younger brother didn't have to go, but I went for eight years. I love that. And when we went to Greek culture, so they put me in Greek school. And of course, my younger brother didn't have to go, but I went for eight years. I love that. And when we went to Greek school,
Starting point is 01:39:09 they divided us into two groups within each grade. So you had what I call the smart and stupid classes, AKA speaking and non-speaking. So I was obviously in the stupid non-speaking cohort and the kids with two Greek parents who spoke it at home were in the speaking smart group. So as you can imagine kind of like class warfare, but um the Greeks in the Greek speaking class would make fun of us In the non-speaking class for not knowing the language and all these teachers were also volunteers
Starting point is 01:39:39 So, you know in the stupid class we didn't want to be there because we were being bullied and also because it kind of sucked in general We were obviously awful to those poor teachers I'm like, okay. I have a good relationship with my dad. Yeah, you see how women just fucking babble on and on Minute 13 we can't really tell what the question I was like, get to the fucking point. What is it? Jesus Christ. Minute 13, we can't really tell what the question is. This is 2.28. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:12 Halfway through. All right, go on, Elders. My teachers. I'm like, okay, I have a good relationship with my dad, but I feel like I still have daddy issues because in fourth grade in Greek school, we went through seven different kete mitres because you know, we'd be terrible and beg them to stay and then they'd always leave and then somehow it always would end up being a new Dmitri back the next week. Dmitri was her teacher.
Starting point is 01:40:34 Anyways, I absolutely didn't really get too much out of Greek school except for trauma. So now in adulthood, I'm 28. Yeah, you know, speaking from someone who's been shot with a gun, I can feel trauma. I mean, the trauma that you went through having so many Dimitris must have been so difficult. And the class warfare between the speaking and the non-speaking Greek populations. I mean, it's... I mean, you must feel like an Armenian in Turkey.
Starting point is 01:41:00 Yachty, that's what you get for trying to... This girl knows what it's like to be black in America Sorry, it's a real fucking asshole for pointing out the obvious All right, so let's let's go. Let's delve further into their deep trauma. Sorry. Sorry. No, no I think I think you make a good point, but you know, that's kind of your fault I assume you were trying to break up a hobo 69ing and they shot you, you know, when you broke into their SRO. You're like, guys, come on, stop sucking each other. Pfft, fuck you, Greek boy.
Starting point is 01:41:34 I remember I fucking had a client who threw a coffee mug at my head and I had to do the George Bush doc. And it was like, yeah, I mean, she fucking flung it. Yeah, it's tough. That is I mean, that's social work. Brutal mentally ill population is tough again. And now I got into comedy.
Starting point is 01:41:53 I'm like, fucking I can't get out of this business. Yeah. All right. Well, let's see what let's see what we got here with our friend. So now in adulthood, I'm 28. I'm a single voice. So strong. I'm 27. God willing, our half-court friend. So now in adulthood, I'm 28. I'm a single lady. The voice feels stronger when you're 27. My Yaya, who, God willing, is about to turn 95. I'm about to turn 97.
Starting point is 01:42:08 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 01:42:12 Oh! My Yaya, who, God willing, is about to turn 95, is encouraging me to find a nice Greek boy to date. Of course. But I feel kind of weird about it. True. She and my mom are encouraging me to get more involved at the Greek church. And that's just not something I feel super secure doing I feel like I'm
Starting point is 01:42:29 not Greek enough to be in those spaces and if I dated someone Greek I wouldn't feel Greek enough for them or their family and I mean I know I'm Greek I'm proud to be Greek I cook all the family recipes I love the culture but I feel insecure about my level of Greekness when I'm around other Greek people. So I consider you a Greek, you Greek, because you're first gen, so I'm interested to hear what you think from your perspective and if you have any advice for trying to get over my fear. We are the right panel here. Yeah, this is it. Two first-geners. Yeah. Well to give the best advice, I think you're gonna need to set DM a picture of yourself to stop bro you know it wouldn't
Starting point is 01:43:11 hurt it would I'm not we're not saying you have to it would not hurt she looks she's half and half something else which is exactly what you said doesn't quite count that's a little more exotic well Italians and Greeks like who are we yeah you want like a Greek Chinese exotic. Well, Italians and Greeks, like, who are we kidding? You want like a Greek, Chinese. It's the same thing. I just want a different, like, Italian culture and Greek culture too similar, particularly American Italians and it's like, Greek Americans and Greek Italians, it's like, there's a little too much Guido overlaid.
Starting point is 01:43:38 Right. It can be a different Europe. It just has to be a different cult. I just want something that feels markedly different. Right. You know. Greek-German. Yeah, I guess that would qualify. I would put that near the bottom of my race-ranking white wife. You want just a little Ecuadorian in there.
Starting point is 01:43:58 Yeah, I mean after what we saw there with the priest. Hey, she's half Greek half Hamas literally does look we've gotten political enough I won't take the bait on that one American healthcare I thought I was on Hassan Piker's live stream. Well look, you get fucking Socrates and Aristotle together, we're gonna fucking fix some of the world's problems. Listen, if you want to know how to solve the world's problem, tune into Twitch and listen to a hot 28 year old Turkish guy figure it all out. He's 30 now. He's 30.
Starting point is 01:44:42 Your youth is gone, Hassan. You need to start actually reading the book soon you motherfucker You're not gonna be sexy forever. Yeah You 9-eleven deny you can't deny I'll be doing Madison Square Garden 11 denier it was good. Yeah, be like it didn't happen Those towers are still up Not saying that it was good, being like it didn't happen. Those towers are still up there. Okay, so I can say about here from my perspective, right? Who, I think we both, I think every, you know,
Starting point is 01:45:18 we both feel this way a little bit, I think, where I think I definitely don't feel as Greek as I want to be, right? And I think I probably, I'm don't feel as Greek as I want to be right and I think I probably I'm much greaker Than this lady, right? My I still I speak Greek pretty well, but I feel like I'd like to be conversational in like truly I'd love to I mean the at some point in my life. I'd love for it to be interchangeable and the frustrating I don't know if you feel this is like For for me, it's like talking is what my fucking skill and when I speak Greek
Starting point is 01:45:48 I'm like I feel like a fucking sixth grader, right? Like I feel like so limited and I have thoughts I want to get out So I empathize with this even though I am theoretically Greek or than you right if we're gonna put a if we're gonna put a thing on it. I Think as long if you want to do this No one is gonna like grade you on your fucking Greekness. No. They might, and in fact, if it's something you wanna,
Starting point is 01:46:12 I actually have a really good friend of mine who, same thing, first gen, grew up, similar thing, sent him to Greek school, he didn't learn shit, kinda didn't really speak, but he has started later in life, he goes and visits his family more. He actually, this is an interesting thing, something I'm even considering doing is like, hiring like a tutor that you zoom with from Greece,
Starting point is 01:46:36 who like, you have Greek lessons in Greek, and you talk to them and they actually like, critique your speech, you know, and it's like, there's way, you know, watching Greek movies. I have another friend who, he wants to get more in touch and he wants to get better with his language. He watches like cartoons in Greek
Starting point is 01:46:56 because it's like for kids, so it's simple language, but it's like he's absorbing it and interesting, you know, like, so there's things you can do. Don't feel insecure about it. I think Greek people love Greek people. So if you're just, if you just are Greek. It's good enough. And then you want to get better,
Starting point is 01:47:14 if you have a desire to get Greek-er, like if I fucking brought a Greek girl who didn't really speak Greek, but she was like, I've been, you know, I'm taking lessons and I want to get better at it and I want to learn my fucking my mom would be fucking through the roof dude yeah I mean and then like just just you compared to a non Greek person you're already fine you know what I mean like yeah but I nailed it but I think it's good I agree like there is something too it's interesting about
Starting point is 01:47:44 like something I think about all the time is how like in a couple generations I agree like there is something to It's interesting about like Something I think about all the time is how like in a couple generations. You could just lose an ethnic identity So fast yeah, and that's weird That's and everybody deals with that differently and like time is never gonna be like my neighborhood Greek town in Baltimore Not that Greek anymore this fucking name Astoria No, even when I visited as a kid like my church would come we would literally come to a story when I was like 11 it was way Greek or then 20 years ago. Oh, yeah Then it is when I was a kid. It was all Greek you guys are still all connected to your first generation
Starting point is 01:48:17 I lost my ethnic identity. I'm nothing. I'm a town. I'm fucking American even Italian German Irish I don't know what I am nobody in my from a hundred years plus Nope, any everyone's only ever been American. Yeah, so this is what happens when you lose it. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is the fucking cultureless void you want to move nine times in eight years I think also the options are open to this girl because her father is not Greek, her mother is Greek, so you could go non-Greek also. The father is more of the one who would be the problem? Oh yeah, if the father was Greek, then she's pretty much in prison.
Starting point is 01:48:57 I mean, so she's got a non-Greek father, it means she, you know. He doesn't give a shit. Yeah, and plus the mother who's Greek, married a non-Greek. means she you know he doesn't give a shit yeah and plus the mother who's Greek married a non-Greek she broke a seal there already she's already ruined the pussy generationally you don't have to go Greek yeah yeah Greek people are like oh the bloodlines disgusting she's half Italian and the Greeks do hate Italians yeah my mother-in-law married a Sicilian guy and her family disowned her. It's just a true story. Which Sicily is just a Greek island by the way. It's mostly DNA, it's all Greek.
Starting point is 01:49:36 Even if you look at a map, the fact that that's considered Italy and not Greece is hilarious. Well the Greeks were like the first to colonize it Yeah, you know yeah when I what when I went to Sicily they have that whole they have like all like the monuments there They look like you're in Greece, but it's just on the island of Sicily totally and that's what the tour guide So they were like this is Greece. It's so funny They would do but that's that's what we're dealing with here But I would just say whether you're this is kind of a general question because a lot of people in America I think deal with this as an immigrant you you decide like do is my is my immigrant identity important to me? I definitely feel like it is Elvis. I know you you you went back to Albania like I think where you got that turtle neck
Starting point is 01:50:18 Like it's I do think there is I think there comes a point especially like your third you're getting there You know You're 28. Like for me it happened like kind of in my 30s where I'm like, what kind of fucking person do I wanna be? You start thinking not just of yourself, but oh, there's gonna be a generation after me. If I have kids, if my fucking brothers have kids,
Starting point is 01:50:36 you know, my friends have kids, like it's not even about you, it becomes like what do I wanna pass down? Because like if there's a way for me to like, you know, guarantee that if I had kids they'd be as Greek as I am I take that but I Got this Greek because my parents are Greek as fuck. So me They these kids if I had kids now the amount of Greek that I speak like with the amount I'm connected to Greece They'd be fucking Chrissie's look at that. They'd be fucking regular ass white motherfuckers just regular dudes. In no time.
Starting point is 01:51:05 So you know, you decide what connection do you want. And by the way, if you lose the language, whatever, but you just like going to Greece, you like the, you're keeping it alive with cooking, whatever. We all find what's important to us and what the level of connection we want and just go with it. Don't feel insecure, but I think there's nothing wrong
Starting point is 01:51:25 with working on it and maybe you'll never be Greek as shit, maybe you'll never be fluent, but get a little more connect, get as connected as you have time for and as you feel comfortable with, I think. And I think it's important for you to know you're not alone in feeling insecure about your level of Greekness. I think that is part of being Greek.
Starting point is 01:51:41 Every Greek is always trying to out Greek. You know? It's like a thing, we all feel insecure about a level of Greekness. If you're Greek American or if you live in the diaspora, Greeks will make you feel that way. Yeah, oh yeah, and then definitely when you go to Greece, you're American as far as they're concerned. Like I fucking, yeah, like I definitely,
Starting point is 01:52:00 I made some like Greek, like Greek from Greece friends that weren't, that's another thing when you want to feel connected So because when you when you go and travel usually it's like, you know You meet your family you maybe meet family friends people that actually care about you And then I like made some Greek friends and we were cool. They liked me obviously, but we like They would get like annoyed and just switch to English. They would just be like look don't Let's not let's forget this bullshit. You know, you're a fucking American.
Starting point is 01:52:29 You're an American. Like it's cute what you're trying to do. So just be prepared for that. Will you? Well, another span of Cupid off? Yeah. Will you switch to English? Yeah, so just feel okay with whatever you're like.
Starting point is 01:52:42 That's being an immigrant. It's like you really aren't Either place fully and that's okay. You find what you find that little center for yourself Yeah, just as long as you don't marry a Turk you'll be fine I'd be interested in that. I would be actually great. I'm gonna be great. Yeah, put aside put some tits on his son Yeah No seasoning You know what I mean? I'll tell you, Sonaz is. Yeah. His son looks like Buck Angel right now. That kid needs no seasoning. He is cute as a button. Cute as a button.
Starting point is 01:53:14 What do you say, Elders? You got something fun for us to go out on here with our pals? The history hyenas themselves? Yeah. Yeah, kind of a similar theme, but. OK, great. Let's fucking repeat ourselves. Alright.
Starting point is 01:53:26 Davros, Elvis, hello, I love you. Not a question. But let's get into it. When I was a kid, my dad, after church on Sundays, would bring us to our favorite Greek-owned diner in the town that I grew up in. He would request the same waiter every week and I remember three things about this man he was Albayan he he had a name that I don't remember his name but he had a name that was like close to a regular name but one letter off like Elbert sort of like Elvis eldest yeah wait it's not Elvis eldest
Starting point is 01:54:06 your parents was definitely dyslexic he's literally tell we've said that before he's named after two women it's my mom's name my grandma's name put together oh yeah these yeah yeah these is crazy yeah your mom's name at least real name yeah and that too is like close to Elvira Like Albert or something So for the sake of the story, that's what we're gonna refer to him out and he had the worst Bo I've ever Checked my life like to this day you could line up 40 Albanians and I could pick him out in a lineup. Wow that'd be a foreign Albanian. She's like an airport dog for Albanians.
Starting point is 01:54:54 Jesus Christ. Canine unit. Albanian canine unit. Anyway there was one day that we were at this restaurant and the diner owner was yelling at this man off to the side. Sometimes you got to say you're Albanian. The whole restaurant could hear. He was just berating this man. And I for years, I mean this was like 15 years ago, but for years I felt bad for him. I felt so sorry for him.
Starting point is 01:55:20 I didn't know why he would talking and treated that way, but thanks to your show your podcast I've learned so much about the Greek Albanian dynamic But this fucking Albanian dude, that's right. The Greek diner owner had had it up to here Yeah, with this dude and his inability to bust a table. So I just wanted to thank you Oh, I'm coming to see you in marching your dreamboat tour I just wanted to thank you. Oh, also I'm coming to see you in March in your Dreamboat tour when you're coming to Phoenix. But that's all. Thank you. Alright, maybe you'll see me berating Elders for not getting the merch out on time.
Starting point is 01:55:50 Sometimes you have to let your oppressor lash out to make them think they're in control. We got a man that jumps sometimes. Stabros will be killed by Albanians from the Bronx at some point. Albanians are some of the scariest And I want to say right now. I love Albania Big crew yeah, I've said this on the store on the pod before with this chainsaw People Albanians will come up to me, you know on a monthly basis and be like the chain so I know the guy yeah they know the Albanian community heard it it's out there man yeah yeah shut up you know shut out to our Albanian I love the
Starting point is 01:56:35 Albanians are great and people I think you know the guy who owns Tavernas Kiklades he's Albanian BC grill Albanian if you really to get into it, a lot of the Greek places around the neighborhood, even around New York City, are, you know, actually Albanian-owned. Well, that's just what we said, you fucking idiot. Name two other ones then, motherfucker. We just said two. How about you? There's so many. Oh, you can't even list them, huh? B.C. Grill.
Starting point is 01:57:01 I already said B.C. Grill. I just said... He's like, um, Elders' Kitchen. You guys don't know about it. It's in the Bronx. We're working on something. We're working on something. The more we learn about Albania, the more I do love it. And it is funny that you... Who was the king? King Zog? Zog. Zog. They had a king named Zod in like the 1920s
Starting point is 01:57:28 It's a yeah, Zod 1922 to 1939. Yeah, the guy's name was Zod the first Muhtar Zogali He shorned his shit up like he was making an app So funny we just did a history hyenas episode on your gross got a skaki oh god I sky key what a sick fuck a lot of people are commenting that he was Albanian was he Albanian who think he was that bad yeah no you're they're just trolling you oh god I got a skaki is the fucking man yeah dude He would tell people though you would say people you could shit on my dick. Yeah, he said let first. Let me consult my dick
Starting point is 01:58:13 My dick said no go fuck yourself the stadium Olympiacos plays in his end after him Elvis see if you can find the Greek letter to the Turks that class. Oh, yeah If you can find the Greek letter to the Turks that classic. Yeah Pano's voice create a little distance. I mean he called out the Jews. He called out every day. He was a wild boy It wasn't got ice guy cute. Yeah, just that Let's just go ahead look I know you we're treading on your care your territory Why don't you go on the reddit you motherfucker? That we're clearly mature content. No, I don't want to look at it Yeah, what happened right? It doesn't let you have this is there it is. Let's read it
Starting point is 01:58:56 I'll let you read it. Thank you. Thank you And you're gonna have to do that first read it in Greek first line is the tough one to resident to resident Mehmed Pasha Kutahi In Athens well first of all let me read it in Greek Ramoth in peace. He says get done I won't say who starts with an M Fuck your Yeah, yeah, and your guy He said this though. What do you think you're doing?
Starting point is 01:59:22 And your guy. He said this though. What do you think you're doing, Cuckles? Don't you have shame asking us to negotiate with the Koja shit-salt-medite? Let me shit on him and your vizier and that Jew silt-ar-bota that bitch. If I live, I will fuck them. If I die, they will fart my dick General I signed on 420 by the way 1827 The general my god dude. That's our general if I live I'll fuck them if I die They'll fart on my dick. This guy gives no fuck. Fuck the vizier in that juice silt our boat of the bitch
Starting point is 02:00:01 He's basically saying if I live I will fuck you and if I die, I know you'll fuck me, but I will fart on your dick Never will stop getting revenge Also, by the way that bitch he she called not to yes, okay a fun. Yeah get on Vazir He says can a get on him turn a very silly tarboda Can I get on him to never see Liktar Boda team put Anna he called him a whore Yeah, he called him. He didn't even call him a bitch. We basically called him a fucking yeah, but on Incredible stuff. I mean this guy was wild dude if I live I will fuck them if I die they will fart my dick legend Yeah, I'm a classic don't put so This guy had to be a tuberculosis his whole life.
Starting point is 02:00:45 He didn't give a fuck. He's the man. They had the Turks on the ropes. And they could have just walked away. But then he stood up on a rock and started taunting them. And he pulled his ass and dick out. And somebody shot him in the neck. Shot him in the ass and dick.
Starting point is 02:01:00 Respect. Then he almost died. Yeah, he mooned them. He mooned them. Oh my god. I mean, he had personality. He almost died. He mooned them. He mooned them. Oh my god. He had personality. He's the man. Yeah, he's an amazing wild character from history.
Starting point is 02:01:12 Kid had a little bit of a leaky roof, but he was fun. These are the guys that fucking took back Greece from the Turks. Yeah, they were a wild bunch. Fuck you, Hassan. We got it back. You might have fucked us, but we got it back. With heroes like George Karaiskakis Well fellas, thank you so much. I don't like an episode
Starting point is 02:01:30 Fun always great Listen to history highness go see Chrissy go see Yanis. We'll put a we'll put on blicks whatever and Come see us on the dreamboat tour. We're probably halfway through it by now or some way through it I'm hopefully it started who fucking knows. That's the episode We'll see you soon. Bye. Bye

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