Stavvy's World - #130 - PFT

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Barstool's PFT joins the pod for a special episode from the Barstool offices in Chicago to discuss his proto Breaking Bad concept, the agony of kidney stones, working as a used dog salesman, the origins of PFT Commenter, why kush is so damn strong, and much more. PFT and Stav help callers including a man who's distraught that his wife is getting a breast reduction, and a woman who got ghosted after getting lovebombed for a month. Visit Cornbread Hemp at https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/stavvy and use code STAVVY for 30% off your first order and enjoy free shipping on orders over $75. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Follow PFT on social media: https://www.instagram.com/pftcommenter/ https://x.com/PFTCommenter Check out Pardon My Take: https://www.youtube.com/@PardonMyTakePodcast  🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Home insurance with Bel Air Direct is simple. Much simpler than using a smart thermostat. Hey smart thermostat, turn the temperature down. It's too hot in here. No, you're too hot in here. What? What? Get simple smart home insurance.

Bel Air Direct. Insurance simplified. Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro?

The pro's at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there, helping you with Toyo tires you can trust. Until May 31st, save up to $100 in rebates on select Toyo tires, like Toyo's open country family of tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca

Auto repair, we're always there. DreadExpress.ca Oppa! Welcome everybody to StavisWorld. 904-800-STAUB. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We are here in our Chicago, our little Chicago stint. We're at the Barstool headquarters. We got our boy PFT, Eric Suckdickenberger,

is that correct? Suckdickenberger, what? Suckdicken, it was Suckdickenburger, is that correct? Suckdickenburger, it was Suckdickenburg, but I'm trying to change it if I want it to be mainstream. Yeah. Yeah. I love it, dude. Our boy PFT, thanks for coming, dude. Thanks for being on the show.

Absolutely. Yeah, it's interesting, because you really did get, you got famous and you as a, starting as a character, you know what I mean? Because even after we were friends, it took me maybe a year to learn your actual name. Yeah, I like it like that, yeah. And even your last, and it feels strange

to call you Eric even, and that must be, definitely people feel, there's a separation between who you are on mic and who you are off for everyone. But for you it must be like extra kind of schizophrenic. Cause you're such a defined character and then you're just like this guy that like, I feel like I've hung out with Eric like for four hours of my whole life.

You know what I mean? Where it's like, I spent more time with PFT. And I've been thinking about PFT cause like because before I knew you, I actually did, I would read KSK. And so I knew that character, and I was like, I was confused as to what the fuck was going on when you first popped up, and then when it was you and you were just a young guy, you know what I mean?

I didn't really know, and for those who aren't big football blog readers from 2011 like I was Pft was a we were a character making fun of old guys on a website called pro football talk Yeah, yeah the comment section exactly. So you were you were basically like it's like sports reddit guys basically you're making fun of a the comment section of a of a sort of like the Pro-football talk is a little more old does a skew older would you say or what? You're making fun of the comment section of a sort of like, pro football talk is a little more, does a skew older would you say or what do you think?

I think a skew is a little bit older and it definitely did at the time and it was like the stupidest football fans. But also kind of the most entertaining with like the craziest takes. So yeah, I mean I would have to, I would sit down at my computer and write blogs for like five hours at a time

and then I would have to do something that made me feel like I wasn't a complete fucking moron afterwards. Otherwise I would just start to think like this guy. So I'd like log off and then go pick up a book and just look at the book for a little bit. So I felt like I wasn't turning into this guy. But yeah, now it's more, I would say now what you get in terms of what I do, a part of my take is like 60% PFT, 40% Eric. Sure. Because you're weaning them in, you're letting them slowly learn you as a human being

instead of a troll character. And for those people that weren't online chronically from like 2012 to 2015, like absorbing the culture that the character was born in, you lose a lot of that context. Yes. And so I still, like me and Big Cat still do a lot of the troll-y stuff. Of course.

We still, like, fuck around, but, uh, yeah, you're starting to see more and more of the real Eric. Of you as a human being and not just, like, an ethereal idea. Yeah. You know, like, even like, like, I feel like I didn't see your eyes until... Yeah. Like, I just had no idea what your eyes looked like. You were a sunglasses guy. I didn't want people to know what I looked like. I was like, surely I'll be able to work at Barstool Sports

and stay off camera. Yeah. That was honestly my idea. That's awesome. I didn't want people to know what I looked like for a long time. That would have been fun though actually. I think like, or you're just a shadowy figure in glasses

and like you're lit kind of poorly. Yeah. They should have done that. Well we tried to do stuff like that at first. And then, then like everybody, we would hire just interns for the summer and their job would be to walk around with a camera, with their phone and videotape everything that's going on.

Sometimes I would be in the background and then they'd have to like look at their phone and be like, oh shit, I have to delete this because PFT was in the background. I'm like, now I'm making this like 19 year old's job harder. So fuck it, I'll just be on camera a little bit more. But yeah, I got really into the character for a little bit. Like I planned a lot of stuff out

because I didn't want people to know my real name. It was funny if they could just like, pretend that this was an actual guy, suspend disbelief. So I sat down one day and I was like, I gotta think of a name for this guy. Like what would his name be? And the name I settled on was Wayne Tables. Wayne Tables isn't bad.

Because Wayne is a great shithead man. And then his family, if you go back throughout the years, like they had a job, they worked with their hands, but they're not like, you can't say carpenter, they weren't good enough at everything, they just built tables. They could make tables. Yeah, they built tables.

So it's like Wayne Tables was the name I was gonna go with. Wayne Tables, yeah, that's so fascinating. And then Dickie V called me Patrick the other day. Because before we did our interview with him. Just because PFT, there's a T and a P in there. Well at the start of it, he was like, my grandkids told me you gotta go on with Big Cat and PDF. And I was like, I hope he doesn't call me PDF.

Like you can arrange those any other way that you want. And then halfway through the interview, he went from calling me PTF and he just switched up. He's, and he started calling me Patrick. And I was like, fuck it, if Dickie V calls me Patrick, I'm Patrick from today. I'll be your bitch, Dickie V. I love it, dude.

Shout out to Dickie V, old as hell. Yeah, she's kicking, man. Old as hell, still kicking. God damn, that is very funny, dude. And then what is the, yeah, it's funny to just think of you as like an ethereal, but when it really comes onto it, you're just a guy, you're like literally a guy, some guy from, were you from Virginia or where were you from?

Yeah, Fairfax County originally. Oh, Fairfax, okay. I did some open mics in Fairfax. Oh yeah. So yeah, you're a fellow sort of DMV boy. I am, I was an OZ fan, I don't wanna say like fan, I guess I liked the Orioles when I was growing up, because it was like,

if you go to a Major League Baseball game, it's gonna be the Orioles. We had a lot of that, we had a lot of like, Angelos was mad when the Nationals came around, because he was just like, what the fuck? I don't have to try and these people are my fans. Yeah, no, ball, yeah, I mean the Orioles were great, but the ballpark was great when we were kids too.

It was just like a fun place to be. My first game was at Memorial Stadium. So I went to like the old one. That was my first baseball game. That's fucking crazy. And then I would go to an Orioles game like maybe once or twice a year, but then the second we got the Nats,

I was like, fuck that. Yeah. Like that's my team now. Yeah, yeah. And I could never like root for any DC. It just feels so wrong to root for anything from DC as a Baltimore. Yeah.

We're just such different, we're such different towns. Why DC was your father like an evil weapons contractor? Yeah, my dad was no. Are you in the CIA, are you a CIA plant? My grandfather did work for the State Department for a little bit. Whoa. But he got hired, he was the guy that would like decide, he would help people when they were doing the Foreign Service Exam.

Because like back in the, I want to say 30s, if you're going to be a diplomat somewhere, they didn't even make you learn the language to go over there. That's how dumb we were. And he was a missionary to China for like oh wow years back grandfather I just found out he was he was at the rape of Nan Kang what yeah, so his was he up to On a fucking samurai outfit and it was like all right switch sides No, it was like he was working Jesus Christ He was there he was he was like, he was working. Jesus Christ, he was there? He was like delivering food to the Chinese and like helping the Chinese farmers and peasants

like escape what was going on. So he was working with like the communists and the nationalists at the same time. Cause at the time it was like. It was just one big, yeah, China was kind of all over the place. We'll settle our differences after Japan gets the fuck out of here.

So he was over there for a little bit and then he came back to the US and he said, I wanna keep working, doing the same job that I'm doing, but I don't wanna work with the church anymore. Can the government, I think it would be beneficial to the US if we helped the poor people in China survive after World War II. And so-

Some hearts and minds type stuff. Hearts and minds, yeah. What is it, Belts and whatever it is that China's doing. But then he came back to DC and he started working for the State Department and the Foreign Service Institute, helping people, like putting in rules like, you have to be able to speak the language if you're going to work there.

And so he worked there for a little bit and moved out to McLean, like a tiny house, and then like giant mansions just popped. So his neighbors were all like lobbyists and lawyers by the end of his life out there. Brutal, brutal. He didn't really like his neighbors too much. He was like, I don't wanna work

for the corrupt church anymore. What I need to do is work for the State Department of the United States. Maybe the old, I don't know, what's more corrupt, the Catholic Church or the intelligence community, but either way it ain't good. Either way you're not surrounded by the best people. That's fucking crazy. I mean, so was that like, were you like surrounded by that?

So you started your life there. Did you grow up there the whole time? Were you in Fairfax the whole time? I was in Herndon growing up. Oh Herndon, okay. So my my street in Herndon was like run by MS-13 Which is crazy because if you look at like the evolution of MS-13 as a gang, yeah I think it started in LA. Okay, and then it sprouted out to like Herndon, Virginia. Interesting. In Fairfax County. Just one guy moved there. It might have been something like that and then uh yeah it was uh like a very

El Salvadorian neighborhood. Yes. Yeah. That I grew up in but it was yeah it was it was a pretty pretty chill. Yeah. Like they didn't fuck with me too much. Yeah. They were just like okay he's gonna walk to school let him walk to school. walk to school. But they're definitely super-marcados that I was not supposed to go in at certain hours. I'll say this though. People don't talk about a Salvadoran food. Yeah, yeah. Papooses are delicious.

Really good stuff. Really good, I mean, it's the same ingredients. It's like flour, cheese. Yeah, but they do it in a better, it's like kind of mashed up in a nice way. It's like a cheesy, it's like a better, it's like the best version of stuffed crust pizza possible. If you took the idea of a stuffed crust,

separate it from the pizza, and just make it some cheesy, a little cheesy pocket, great stuff. It is good. The pupusas are great. What's the crew look like? Who are you fleeing MS-13 with as a suburban Virginia boy? What's the, who's the, like, it was me and Eldis over AIM, our crew was like, who were the fellas

when you were probably just a dork who loves football, trying not to get beat up by the El Salvadorians? Who were your boys? That was like my neighborhood that had a lot of the MS-13. The other side of town didn't have as much. Sure, sure, sure. And so by the time middle school hit, met those guys, still friends to this day, they do the hard factor podcast. Okay, so like will mark Pat West

Those guys from that show we all kind of like bonded together in middle school and Pat obviously who's still he's we call him the beef now I didn't know that yes, it's like middle school Wow hang out high hijinks, like. Love it. Getting into some mischief, all that shit. And then we go off to college and we stayed in touch and we started a sketch comedy group. Really?

Yeah, right out of college. Moved to Charlottesville, Virginia. That was our idea of like. The big city. Moving to an artistic city. Oh, the artistic city. Charlottesville. Yeah, there's a lot of filmmaking going on

in Charlottesville. So me and my five boys are gonna move there and get fucking black out. get fucking day Virginia by the way We're gonna get blackout. We're not even think about moving out of the state Stay in central, Virginia Even make it to Richmond dude. I would I went east of Massan button and I was like This is this is paradise And so we were like we're gonna make we're gonna make movies we're gonna make sketch

But we all like to party way more than we were able to focus on like doing the artistic shit And then after like I know nine months a year of being in Charlottesville We're like Charlottesville is just not happening for the scene. Yeah, see this dead Yeah, the vibrant Charlottesville scene. We were here a year too late. We gotta switch it up. It's not us, it's the city. Yeah.

So let's move to Austin, because Austin is like Charlottesville on steroids. It's like real burgeoning film scene. And this is probably what, 2005, six, seven? We moved to Austin in 2008, I believe. Eight, okay, sorry, yes. So we go down there and my dream and our dream at the time was to make a movie out of a short story

that I wrote that we turned into a short film. And the premise of the short film was a high school dropout. And he decides to support his family by making and selling methamphetamines with his high school chemistry teacher. Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Wow, you had from Jesse's point of view, Breaking Bad. Yeah. You had Jesse's POV, Breaking Bad, locked and loaded. Yeah, I think the point was his, just with none of the social commentary whatsoever. Yeah, just a criminal Oh, like there's no catch-22. There's no moral quandary. There's just like no He just wants to sell drugs and not go to school exactly Well, it was he wanted to sell drugs because he wanted his mom to buy him an Xbox

And his mom wasn't making enough money as a stripper. So he wanted to make money So you could buy have as a stripper, so he wanted to make money so he could buy it. Gotta have the mom stripper. He was gonna... Gotta see your tits at some point in the movie. His idea was, I'm gonna sell meth so I can afford to get my mom a boob job. Yeah, that's a good son.

So then she can work at Hooters, and then the money starts flowing in. That's a good son, yeah. And then she'll buy me an Xbox. So it was about the healthcare system. It was. It just wasn't chemo, it was fucking fake tits for your mom. Yeah, dude.

Like that's, people are always like, I remember back in 2016 they were like, yeah you know the Chapo, come town, part of my take resistance movement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really cared about the healthcare in this country. Yeah, I was there from day one. Day one, trying to get tits for moms.

Yeah, so. And I agree with that. Honestly my dream in life is to buy, is to find a woman I trust so much I buy her tits. That's love to me. Because you're not getting that back. The tits can go at any moment. The tits go out with her.

And that to me is proof that you really love someone if you buy her tits. That's super altruistic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this for you. It's not for me at all. I'm complete, look, there's some benefits for me,

but I'm completely at your mercy here. You take the tits, the tits are yours. Yeah, it's not like an engagement ring. You can't ask for it all the time. No, it's more than an engagement ring. You know, exactly. It's better than an engagement. You should have to buy your wife to be big fake tits

to show that you really mean it. Because not only that, you're making her more attractive, you're actually helping her if she wanted to cheat on you. That's how much you trust her. You're like, I'm handing you the gun to shoot me with, and I trust that you'll put it away and not, you know what I mean? You gotta be a confident dude to do that.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying, I'm not there yet. That's my goal, that's what I wanna find. A woman I buy tits for, so. You gotta go to like a psychiatrist and be like, yeah, I just wanna, I want to get to a point where I'm so confident that I can get my girl tits. Yeah.

Can you help me die? Doctor, please help me. Or get so rich that I can get my girl tits. Can you help me, Doc? Please help me. Or get so rich that money doesn't mean anything and I'll buy anyone tits. A 20 year anniversary, you upgrade the tits just like the diamond. Absolutely, dude. You should be able to do that. That is true love, I think.

That's beautiful, man. And I guess that's still in development now? It's still in in development you should do it now with the resources of barstool You should shoot like a really shit take like a weekend and just like storyboard it with like your cameras here and just shoot a really bad Version of that movie. That's not a bad idea. I was pissed off for a little bit though when Breaking Bad came out Yeah, I was like this motherfucker Vince Gilligan stole my shit Stole my shit. Yeah, and and then after a while I was like you know what maybe maybe I'll try watching it. I was like this is the best show I've ever seen in my entire life. I created this.

Yeah this is from me. Folks do you love THC but you're tired of smoking it? I'm in that boat that's why I've been dabbling with cornbread hems THC seltzers. They're delicious 30 calories, 5 grams of sugar and more importantly nice little buzz. You're not making it. You don't got to drink you know booze have a hangover none of that stuff. All natural delicious. Each can has five nice milligrams of THC. Perfect amount, you don't feel couch locked or paranoid. Lord knows I've been trapped by a two seater before in my life. It's just perfect for unwinding, kicking back and enjoying the moment. No alcohol, no hangover.

That's the phase of life I'm in. I've realized that about myself. I went a little too hard at certain points of the tour and I was just a zombie I was I was too messed up with these seltzers just a little some Take the edge off at night. You want to have a nice little ritual? They got four delicious flavors blueberry breeze peach iced tea my favorite raspberry limeade and salted watermelon Right now Stavis world listeners can save 30% off their first order and enjoy free shipping on orders over 75 bucks.

Head to cornbreadhemp.com slash Stavi, S-T-A-V-V-Y and use code Stavi at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com slash Stavi, code Stavi, cornbreadhemp. This is the good life. I do love that though, because sometimes you, like people, like I'll, I've been, I was off Instagram, I was like off my phone for a while,

just trying to, I took a year to kind of get off shit and like lose weight and all this stuff. And recently, since I've been on the tour, I'm looking at my phone while I'm promoting the shows, I'm just on my phone way more than I used to, so I'm checking my DMs like before, the way I didn't used to. And sometimes you'll just get like, guys being like, dude, I got an incredible movie script idea.

You play a fat, lovable loser. And you get divorced, and I'm like, I'm not sure exactly what happens, but like, at the end, you like, you get, you like show all your, like, you have like this bitch ex-wife, and you get over, and it's just like, not an idea at all. all it's just like kind of stuff they've seen from other stuff and be like so yeah man whenever you're ready to talk about this like

this is a really like and it's just like what people think is an idea like you definitely thought the concept of a guy selling meth to get his mom tits was like that's the idea oh that's a true like that's enough to be considered like they're stealing from me a million percent Yeah, he was pissed off. It was mostly the the high school chemistry teacher sure that part of it I was like well, they that's I like that part Yeah, but I love how you were like, you know the more compelling character is yeah the stupid high school dropout Yeah, the kind of teacher who would be forced under certain circumstances, a formerly upstanding

member of society. That's not interesting, he's the sidekick. I need the white trash idiot. With a hot mom. Was it a coincidence that that happened to be the character that I would play? That I wanted to make? That I wanted to make the key part of this?

He's the star, yeah, yeah. I know, I think about that too where I'm like, damn, I can't, all the ideas, like, in my my head all the ideas that you would do when you were starting out are about young people finding and it's like I could never play. I'm like, I'm so fat and old now that it's like I have to make things about like a guy is things I haven't even experienced my my face and body look like a man That's lived a life even though I have the life experience of some fucking dumbass like, you know kid or whatever You've watched a coming-of-age movie and it's like clearly 26 27 year old actors Yes, you're thinking of ways that you could play like a 45 year old I can't play guys that are older than me

I got like I got this stuff I get auditions for is just like, oh, come on, man. You could pull off a high school or something. Yeah. That would be great. Like just make a movie about high school. It's about high school, but the actors are all clearly in their 40s.

That's fine. I mean, when they did that with Wet Hot American Summer 2, that was funny. We just watched Mac and Devin go to high school, which is Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg, who are both playing high school students. Wiz Khalifa, now look, they give Snoop some plausible deniability.

They make him, they say he's been in school for what, like 12 years, Eldest? Yeah. Or 15 years, which would make him like 30 years old. He's a 50, like when did this come out in 2012? So Snoop was probably 55 years old, playing a 50, like when did this come out in 2012? So Snoop was probably 55 years old playing a fucking, or actually he's a little younger than you think because he got famous when he was like 16 or whatever,

but still, it's hilarious that they are both high school students. I love that. How have I not heard of this movie yet? Dude, you will love this movie. It makes no sense. So Wiz Khalifa is the uptight nerd. Uh-huh. Okay. movie. It makes no sense. So Wiz Khalifa is the uptight nerd. So he's the uptight nerd that Snoop just offers weed to and instantly he's cool as shit. He smokes weed for like 40 seconds and like 10 minutes later he has like a soft core porn scene. Like he's literally

in the champagne room of a strip club and it's like a two-minute scene and they cut they see it like it's simulated Penetration it's fucking it's he's like he's like a motorboating her tits That's what happens the first time you smoke weed You don't get like anxiety And you don't think like everyone here knows that i'm high. Yeah, oh is that my parents is that their footsteps? No, you just you go straight for the tits. You become fucking awesome. It's like Stefan and Steve Urkel.

It really is, man. No, that's a great, I think you'll really enjoy that flick, man. Do you agree with me that weed got too strong? Yeah, absolutely. Like we've reached that point, right? I am dealing with that right now, where I actually, a buddy bought me joints

that are literally like, they're like you puff on them four times and they're out. And I smoked one of those and it was the perfect amount. I can't smoke a whole joint. I need to smoke one eighth of a joint and they're selling those. It's like how about we just make the weed a little easier. Bring back mids. Bring back mids bro.

Bring back mids. Like I need old man weed. I need like how Michelob Ultra's 2% by volume. Yeah, give me 2% by volume joints You want to do something like a business stuff? Yeah, you want to go in on it? I would a hundred percent do like easy like easy joints or something like that like just call it regular weed regular weed I don't know. Yeah, maybe easy joints or like Yeah, he's old man old old man Kush weed zero weed zero Oh, that implies like zero percent weed light weed light. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah throwback Kush throwback Kush

heirloom Kush That sounds prestigious and classy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, old man heirloom Kushush, that's not bad. Do you wanna be able to- Gentleman's blend. Oh, yeah. Heirloom kush, gentleman's blend. I like that a lot. Dude, we're, all right, we're getting something going here. You wanna be able to smoke a joint and watch a movie? Yes, and foul and remember it?

Yeah. Dude, I've said this before on the podcast, I watched the Joaquin Phoenix movie where he's fucking guys up with a hammer. You were never really there, is that what it's called? I saw that three times, and on the third time I was like, oh, I've watched this twice. Like, I watched it once high as shit,

then I watched it again, and at the end I was like, with the end, it's a very memorable ending scene, and I was just like, wait. And then I remembered I've seen it all before, and then I watched it a third time, and the exact same thing happened, except instead of remembering, I was like, wait wait I've watched this twice

That's awesome. And that's how there was a period in my life where I was getting so high and watching movies and I Remember maybe like 2% of them. Blacking out from weed. Heirloom weed. Yeah, heirloom kush, Gentleman's Blend You're right because at first I was thinking the branding should be sort of like Bud Light or something like that or like light branding and kind Of modern but I think like let's go with the heritage vibe. Let's like, this is your, this is old school. I mean, we've gotten to the point where if we did it 70s branding, it would actually feel very retro, like extra retro.

To us, that's, oh, that just happened, but to Zoomers in this office, the 70s are the 30s. They're like, that's so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, yeah, you gotta separate mids. like the way we say mids I think is different from the way that kids now say mids. Right, mid is bad. Mid is, yeah, mid is bad. The Overton window of weed has expanded so wide that you just have to be like, it's just regular weed, man. Regular weed. Regular weed. But I think we should offer mid too. That's the thing, it's like we should have, it

should be, it should be, it goes from, we started shake, you know what I mean, like shake and just like, and sticks, we should sell sticks and stems, right? That should be like the, like ground up sticks and stems. Dude, it's like byproduct from the good weed that people are making out there. Exactly. They probably throw that shit out.

Exactly, so we started sticks and stems, then we have shake, then we have like mid, and then we have gentleman's blend,, then we have like Mid, and then we have Gentleman's Blend, which is, or then we have maybe Regular Weed, and then we have Gentleman's Blend, which is just like elevated, maybe a very fine sprinkling of Keef. Not, dude, they cover it now, where it's like,

and they put it with like wax, like it's like none of that, dude, but I think that's, we need to have different levels, and we have to have different branding. Regular Weed is just kind of like every man that is your blood light and then you know We have like gentlemen's blend can be like now we're mixing it but like highlife Like the champagne of weed. Oh, I like that. We need to come up with champagne of we black label Like you'd market whiskey yes exactly right exactly No, we're onto something here for sure. Let's do it, we can make a fuckload of money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd be great spokespeople to go in on a weed. We're exactly, the two kinds of guys that want this, the guys that need this look exactly like us, dude. All right, dude, I love it. We're gonna get, yeah, we're gonna make a shit ton of money with regular weed. Regular weed gentlemen's blend.

When you look at me and Stavi, you think gentlemen. Yeah, we do need somebody to, we'll need a celebrity to come in for gentlemen's blend, but we can get started with sticks and stems and shake and all that stuff. Yeah, do you wanna smoke weed and not forget where you are? Do you wanna smoke weed, like literally yesterday yesterday I was so high I got up fully, I had a cup of water in my lap and I just got up and it spilled all over the fucking floor.

Dude, I got so high last week because I was dealing with a kidney stone, which sucks, so I took the, have you had those? No, somehow I haven't. He has, which he had, I was, we were roommates when he had, well he he had a guinea stone. I lived in our living room at the time, and all I hear is, eldest, wake up,

and first of all, I just hear, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah It somehow makes you feel a little bit better. Yeah, just make those noise. He's just going And then I hear him get up moaning the whole time get I hear him get the bong I hear him rip the bong and then go back and just the morning didn't stop by the way He went it got fucking crazy. I was I was in agonizing pain all night I was like dribbling bloody piss like every two minutes For like six hours. I was like fuck. I need to do something. I thought weed would help I just ended up getting like really high It felt even worse Did you know what was happening at the time? It was like passing from my kidney to like were you did you know?

The pain is a kidney stone. Oh, were you But like, did you know the pain is a kidney stone? Oh, you didn't, did you? Uh... Cause that's the worst part, I think. I don't think I knew. You didn't, you didn't. Cause you went to the doctor. I went to the ER.

Cause we were scared. I was literally scared. I was like, what the fuck? You feel like you're dying. It's like very, very bad. It's weird pain, too. It was like agonizing. It was the worst pain I've felt.

Damn. They say it's worse than like childbirth. That's what the doctor said. Yeah. She said she'd given birth to three kids and this is worse. I was like, I'm gonna tell that to every woman Just be able to fucking wag it at every dumb bitch's face Sweetie, sweetie. I got a diet high in nitrates. Okay, you've had kids. I've had eight kidney stones How do you get them? It is like, isn't it like protein or what?

There's a lot of different causes for it. I actually, I saved the kidney stone. Oh wow. So they're gonna analyze it. Okay. And see what it's made out of. But they think it's probably made from sodium and I eat a lot of salt.

Yeah, me too. And I was trying to think like, this is weird. Like I eat a lot of sodium, but I always eat a lot of sodium. Why am I getting stones right now? And then just like 30 minutes ago, Madeleine on macro dosing, she just said, you think you have anything to do with your gumbo week? Oh, right. I was like, oh shit. How that's how bad my diet is Yeah, then a week of eating nothing but gumbo. I had like 15 or 16 gumbos in a row. Yeah

Yeah, that didn't even register with me. What was the national championship Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl in New Orleans In New Orleans. Yeah, so I only ate gumbo. And I was like, that might have something to do with the high intake of sodium. How soon after gumbo week did it happen? So this was, I think I got it a week and a half ago. So like a month, a couple months, but I don't know how long these little fuckers stayed.

So I'm down in my basement. I had gone to the ER and they did like an ultrasound. They did an ultrasound like on my balls. They put the wand Because they thought my testicle was like twisted around itself. They're like we might have to remove it Your ball is trying to fucking hang itself. Yeah Damn they might they were they would have to remove your nut Well, they thought that it was like the the twisted the twisted nut if you have that you have to get it Operated on like immediately or else

they have to take it out. To untwist it and take it out. And then would you have gotten another, a fake ball in the pouch or would you have rocked a single one? I think I would rock solo. I would go solo ball. Cause like I always talk about people are, cause I've had that question before.

They're like, would you have it removed? And there's an ancient art, you're probably familiar with it, Stavi. The Japanese art of flower arrangement. Okay, I don't know about it. It says that one rose looks beautiful in a vase. Two roses look terrible. Interesting.

Three roses look great. Four roses look terrible in a vase. So I feel like my ball sack might look better with one nut. But that's one thing with one nut, that makes two. That is true. You know, you, you know. Now it's like, yeah, now it's like the big three down there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like this is KG. Yeah, yeah, so I don't know, I didn't think about that. That's an excellent point. That would be my worry, because it's like you got one little ass, for me, I have a little ass dick, and then I would assume,

because the sack is still the same size, and you have one nut weighing it down, you just have a longer, more angular, you kind of have, basically what looks like your dick, it would look like my dick, because my dick is little as fuck, it looks like a little fucking, you know, little thing on top of your shit, and then you just have lower, foreskin and a nut sack look kind of similar, for me it would look, the two things would be too similar without two nuts, I think. One of the nuts, I think the remaining nut would stay in its home, it's like I've lived

here too long, I'm not moving out, and then the dick would kind of migrate into the nuts, I think the remaining nut would stay in its home. It's like I've lived here too long I'm not moving out and then then the dick would kind of migrate into the place of the old Your dick would just be like at the side like hanging down to kind of sideways Oh, you think they would be parallel to each other? Yeah, I think I think you'd just be like my dick is on my right my balls. I don't have that much hang time on my left Yeah, so I'm down. I'm down in the basement. They gave me like one day worth of painkillers. Aw, ridiculous. At the doctor.

Ridiculous. I had to obviously self-medicate on some gummies. Yeah. And so I took a gummy and I was trying to piss this thing out so I'm chugging water. So I probably filled this thing up like five times. I'm chugging these waters. You go to the bathroom every like 15 minutes.

And then I got to the point where I get a little bit paranoid because I'm chugging these waters, going to the bathroom every like 15 minutes, and then I got to the point where I get a little bit paranoid because I'm too high, and then I'm like, did I just give myself water poisoning? Like am I gonna die now because I drank so much water? And so then I start panicking and I'm like, that's like an electrolyte imbalance, there's not enough sodium, I'm gonna go upstairs, I'm gonna eat a, I have to eat some salt.

So I went upstairs, got a full bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. And that was also my medicine. I was like, I gotta do this for my health. For my health. I know Elders was talking about how he was like, you saw some video where it was like, they say you should put a little salt in your water for better hydration.

And it's like, in no world do we not get enough sodium. There is no world where our diet needs a little salt in the water. I think we fucking crush it with all the canned fish you have alone. You think we're hydrated enough? I don't think we are but I don't think not enough salt is the problem. It's awesome that you're like yeah that's what's stopping my body from absorbing all the fucking water. It's meant for like Michael Phelps to drink? Yeah exactly. And I need that too. Yeah's guys who like, it's guys who measure the macros to like the gram. You know, it's not us, bro.

Yeah, but I'm gonna piss that fucker out. Yeah, guys who, for guys who like don't take Gatorade because they're like it has too much sugar. Yeah. We also drink Gatorade, Elders. Like we have so much Gatorade on the bus. Anyway, yeah, we've been doing an okay job. Staying fucking, you know. 25,000 steps.

20,000, dude, yeah. Every day, I'm on a 20,000 steps streak. Today's the first day. It's at risk, because I got here. I've been actually podcasting all fucking day, but I'll get it afterwards. It burns calories, too. Yeah, the mind is working.

The mind is working so hard. The most powerful muscle of all. We do have a treadmill downstairs if you wanna hop on that. Oh you do? I actually might hop on for a little bit. Actually it depends on what the weather's like. I might just go. Chicago's a fucking beautiful town.

But I do love thinking of, yeah, it's funny to think of you as like in your Austin, I'm a fucking artist phase. It was like your friends from middle school, you guys all had that fucking house, yeah like a house in Austin. Yeah we had a little compound. Did you have a job, like what was your day job back then? So my first job was, I was an adoption counselor for homeless dogs. Oh wow. Okay. I was like holy shit. I should have just stopped him when I said adoption counselor. What a good guy. Oh for dogs. Yeah I was a used dog salesman.

A used dog salesman? I would set up my little pens outside of like PetSmart and then I would try to get there early in the morning to the shelter. Oh, you would like, you would show up at where they do puppy mills and be like, don't go get them from here, get them from here. Yeah, really shame them. That's good. You're smart. So I would go to the shelter early in the morning. Girl Scout, like Girl Scout girls setting up outside of a grocery store,

it's like, oh, you're gonna go buy chips ahoy? Yeah, how about from us you fucking piece of shit? Yeah, oh you want to go get a yellow lab that's eight weeks old and adorable inside that will be very well behaved Yeah, how about this nine-year-old catahoula that tried to bite me six times today? This dog's way better. Yeah, so I would get to the shelter super early in the morning Because you could try to get the better dogs that would like bring more people over. Oh wow. You would get in line waiting like it's like a new iPhone. Yeah. It's like, let me get one, let me get a dog that doesn't shit itself. Yeah, so we get like all these puppies and stuff, set them up there.

I got paid like 5.25 an hour for that I think. Okay. And then I got accused of stealing at one point from the owner. Stealing what? The donations. Oh, the donations. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Where all these dogs are. I have no idea. I'm wearing a coat, man. Yeah.

Yeah. That's good. Yeah. 101 Dalmatians rebooted for like a fucking early 20s stoner dirt bag. That's pretty funny. Yeah, at one point this guy was like, where's the bag of donations, Eric?

And I was like, dude, I don't know, I put it in the safe at the end of my shift, it had like 40 bucks in there. I'm sorry, he's like, well, the money's not in there. I was like, well then somebody else that works for you, like some low life is stealing the money out of your safe before you check it. And then at one point, well, I enjoyed the job

because it was fun hanging out with the dogs. But then one day the guy that ran the place just disappeared in the middle of the night. Whoa. He like moved to Mexico overnight. So we all go to the shelter in the morning and nobody's working there. And there's just probably a hundred dogs. Are you serious? What the fuck do we do with all these dogs now?

Oh my God, dude. You just left the dogs there? Yeah, he's like, I'm going to Mexico. He literally said like, I got gotta get away from all these dogs. And the location, I think that's where Elon built the Tesla place. Oh, wow. I think it might be on that same land.

So two great entrepreneurs both fucking did their business on that plot of land. Yeah, I got bad news. There's gonna be a lot of Tesla people coming down with Parvo in the next couple years. That was a dirty spot. Yeah, so I worked at that place for a little bit. Austin's a fun place to be in your 20s.

Yeah, especially back then. Now the tech bros have ruined it a little bit. It's not as fun, but I like that. The shelter's fascinating to me. I was actually thinking, this is like me, I just wrote this down in my notes yesterday about, I'm always trying trying to like I try and do a new joke every time is let me pick your brain as somebody who worked at a shelter like it is crazy how good Americans treat dogs here like and so I was thinking like you're never gonna

like I definitely have a very foreigners point people my some of my fans hate how much I'm like dogs shouldn't be on and you probably hate it too I know you have beautiful you know you love your dogs and you and Big Cat are big dog guys, but I'm a like, dog in the bed? What am I, fuck it. You know what I mean? I'm like, put him outside, feed him pork bones,

for like, finish ribs and just throw the bones at the dog. That's what they should eat. And we're never gonna, and maybe I'm a little too extreme, whatever, but I think the only way we're gonna this is an opportunity maybe we solve homelessness where it's like if you want to design a dog you also have to adopt a homeless guy and he doesn't have to live with you obviously but you have to give him like whatever you spend on your dog you have to just give the homeless

guy also you know like matching and it's like that way you know what you want to have a dumb dog with a fucking North face great now a homeless guy gets a fucking north face you know I'm saying like I think that yeah the farmers dog you're I think that's humans it's human great food yeah I could eat it you know so give the guy a couple little fuck couple packs of farmers dog it is wild in America I actually think that if like some dude walked into like an adoption shelter with an AR-15 and shot up all the dogs. It would make more headlines.

I think it would make a bigger dent in the gun control. It would make more headlines than if they shot a literal orphanage. Yes. You're so right. We've already killed kids, we don't give a fuck. Yeah, there's like pictures of like puppies and blood on the ground.

People are like, oh my God. It would do so much bigger numbers. Where are we as a society where this is okay? God you're so right that sucks dude. Damn I might have to seal that for this bit for the bit we're workshopping here. This is all your IP on this pod right? Exactly, well that's the thing, what you signed

earlier, the email you The email that I pretended to read. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The text you answered that actually makes it anything you said is legally binding mine and everything you say for the next Two hours so anything that happens on PMT after this it's yours. It's mine as well Yeah, so I don't know I've been I've been kicking around that idea It's like get it if you get a fucking golden doodle you need to fucking like help a fucking Vietnam vet

You know what I mean? Yeah, get some canned tuna or whatever the fuck I mean, it would help if the Vietnam vets if like maybe you know Look a little bit cuter Have you ever been cuddled by a Vietnam vet? Like if a guy can't say yeah If a guy like, you know walking out the street down and out rolling hair scraggly beard if you just walked up to you and just like Rested his chin on your shoulder get shoulder. You would be like this. He's so adorable.

Yeah, I think that's definitely a. I can't say no to you. Come here, buddy. Do they know any tricks? Yeah. No, no, just screaming, just having flashbacks. Why don't we do, I know you gotta get out of here, but let's do at least one question

and then we'll finish out. I have some questions, too So I do this. Yeah. I knew you were doing a pod with big cat and Nick Yes, and I was like, I don't know what Stavi's gonna be ready for doing all these pods. This is like a marathon I love it. No, there's nothing dude. Well, we don't respect podcasting here at Stavi's world Well, you guys actually have me you guys playing shit out you have you interview actual like people in in the field That's they are interesting. We don't really.

You interview me. Yeah, I got you, bro. I fucking peeked my head out of the office. I was like, who's around? Oh, PFD, you got an hour for my 90-minute show? Fuck it, we'll figure it out. Fuck these animals. That's kinda our viewpoint, but I'm glad,

I love that you brought, that you have stuff ready to go. I didn't really bring anything on my own. I asked other people to do my work for me. Okay, great, great. So I tweeted out, go on Stavi's podcast a little. I want to bring my own questions to his show. Anything you want to know about Stavi. Love this, love this.

Okay, so this is my first time looking at this. Does he make a mean Avgolemono? Avgolemono. I don't, my mother does. It's a lemon drop soup. It's my favorite soup. Yeah, it's an egg lemon soup that Greek people do when you're feeling sick. I don't know how to make it.

I'll be honest, when I was a little kid, the egg aspect of a soup freaked me the fuck out. Yeah. It did. I was a raw. I was a packaged ramen guy when I was sick. So I've come around to it as an adult, but I haven't got to the point where I make my own yet. It's so good. It is a great soup.

And it's an egg soup but it doesn't have, it shouldn't have like the strands of egg, it's like whisked together. Yes, well now I like that stuff. Like I like, there's certain Chinese soups that have the like you know little egg in there whatever but yes it's creamy. But no, unfortunately to that person I do not make a mina of golemono. Okay this person wants, there's a mean avro limo no okay this person want there's a lot of questions about your weight here watch Davie gets ripped season 3 coming

out soon ask him about the Thousand Island stare debacle there's no debacle I just some might claim that I said Thousand Island stare when I meant I don't even know thousand you doesn't prove that's not good on my behalf. You still can't remember the actual phrase. I don't even know the phrase. Whatever it was eight years later. Yeah, a thousand yards, Stair, is what I definitely said. I don't even know.

I don't even like thousand island dressing. There's a lot of questions about if you can see your dick. I can, thank you very much. It's gotten a little easier It's gotten much easier. Oh, here's a good one What's the best way to keep the body fresh with summer being right around the corner? How do you how do you freshen up? Well, I'd love to say that we have now gotten fat enough as a country where now we have not just deodorant sticks

But we have like just thigh. Yeah, thigh chafe sticks Yeah, like golden Gold Bond makes that. So that does make me feel fresh because you eliminate kind of like that fat boy swamp nuts kind of situation. It's not powder, which feels weird. I feel like a baby when I powder. But this like you glide on your thighs,

you're feeling fresh, that's good. I mean, there's no secret here, right? You shower, you wear deodorant, you change your clothes, you shower a little more than you think you have to, and you change underwear and socks, even if you don't shower. These are keys to be a fat person that does not smell bad. Are you a towel guy?

Like bring your own towel over your shoulder? I'm not an over the shoulder towel guy. That is actually the best look, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that guy is cool. That is the type of guy, lots of theaters have asked me if I need a stage towel, and it does kind of hurt my feelings, because they think I'm a constant dabber.

I'm not on that tip, but no, that's it, man. Also, gum helps, just general freshness, general positive smells. Gum? Gum, just minty, you want to be fresh and general overall. Cover all your holes, all your holes should be strong and good. Freshen your holes up as much as possible. That's really, wipes.

Be a wet wipes guy. You're fat as shit. Who are you kidding? Shower more than you think you need to. Change your socks and underwear, all that kind of stuff. Are you on that whole body deodorant shit? Because I've seen, there's so many of those commercials now. Okay, you know what?

I don't know, now you're, this is good because you're reminding me of a bit I keep forgetting to do. I think for sure the reason those are out is because they're trying to get us ready for not having water. I think, I think because, because, like when, have we ever talked about full body deodorant? Ever in the history of mankind.

But now I have a really, like my, my like, like I think they're trying to get us to Mad Max where I think companies are gonna start charging for water, we're not gonna have access to the amount of water we think we are, and they're getting us ready for the idea of cleanliness, not necessarily needing water. So I hate full-bodied urine.

I think it's a sign of a cataclysmic future to come. That's next level thinking. Thank you. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When that Soylent shit came out, you remember the Soylent drink? Yes, of course. I was like, they're trying to get us ready for not having food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's when when that Soylent shit came out. You remember the Soylent drink? I was like they're trying to get us ready for not having food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like you drink your entire meal

That's that's that shows you again tech bros have no idea how ideas are how human be Soylent They named after Soylent Green which the dystopian thing the famous and we're not spoiling anything It was a Simpsons joke to Soylent Green is people Like it's the dystopia of like they're grinding up people and feeding it to you and they're calling it this wonder. And it's like you name your product Soylent? Right. You're fucking idiots? And of course it's not gonna take off

and there's been like competitors and shit like that. Like all the AI companies that are just, they're building Skynet. Yeah, they're so stupid. They saw Terminator and they're like, dude, that's great technology. They have no fucking, do you know the term robot is from a short Russian science fiction? Like they didn't even have a term for it. They stole it from an artist. Like these guys have no creativity whatsoever

I mean even that fuck the shitty Tesla cars the new the cyber truck. It's just Some like it looks like RoboCop. Like yeah, there's no imagine. These people have have no fucking imagination whatsoever. You're forgetting how epic the Cybertruck is. It was fucking epic. Somebody lived in Austin in his 20s. You can't shake it. You can't shake that kind of thinking. Susan Snatch wants to know, is Hassan as beautiful in person as on screen?

It's all smoke and mirrors. He's got a fucking whole- He's got a whole team of beauticians over there. He's disgusting in real life. He doesn't pay them. They're migrant workers that he gives, that he threatens. He has all their passports and if they talk back, he won't let them see their families for you know, Ramadan.

He's a real piece of shit that guy. I think his camera angle keeps getting like lower and lower so that his shoulders just look bigger and his head looks smaller. He's rocking like Kyle Kuzma sweaters now. He does, yes. I think his camera angle keeps getting like lower and lower so that his shoulders just look He's rocking like Kyle Kuzma sweaters does just massive shirts and he has that little ass head Yeah, oh the Alba cam overpowered again. Yeah, fuck you place one one of our questions here Okay, before we see I selected this this is like really important one. So, okay, we'll do one and then we'll send PFT on his way This this is like really important one. So okay, we'll do one and then we'll send PFT on his way Hey, Stavi Listener long start us over big LD means Stavi we're doing what's known as raw dog in this podcast. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah

Hey, Stavi long time listener long time listener, long time fan. I have a little bit of bad news and predicament that I'm in right now. Actually, my wife just texted me that she is gonna potentially consider breast reduction surgery because of her bad back. No! You know, she talked about taking weight loss pills and everything. Yes, right there! Maybe help her back or work out more.

Yes, yes, yes. Now it's getting to the stop. I don't know what I could do. I love my wife a lot. I think she's beautiful. I think she's sexy and everything. But the problem is, I really, really, really like her.

Like her tits. Like, you know, definitely, definitely a top two feature, so. Sure. What do I do? Is there a way to work around this? I mean, is it? Yeah, I have some thoughts actually for real. It's really will hurt her back that much.

Hopefully your guest can give me some good insight. Hopefully your dumb Albanian can give me insight. Sorry, Elvis, but I'm just in a rough spot. I usually get mad at the dumb Albanian comments, but I gotta let it slide. This man is reeling right now, dude. He's fucking... Yeah. Walk to a waterfall, I'm gonna go on my break and stare off and consider what is life.

Oh God, this is tough. Thank you for this, everything you do is tough, and hopefully you can give me some good insight. It's protecting him. Bye. Yeah, I mean, this is really, really tough, man. You hear in his voice. He's like, some guys might ask this question and be joking. This is like a man who's up against it right now.

He's staring at a horrible future that he's trapped in. It's like a beautiful part of his life is dying. Wow. And he'll never get back. I think, I think. I have some thoughts, but go ahead, PFT. Well, she, obviously, you know, she's in pain. Yeah.

You don't want your wife to be in pain. No. Sounds like you love her. Of course. Why not just get her one of those old people scooters? Yeah. Like honey, I know your back hurts from standing up all day. This is a great way to solve both of our problems.

Your tits stay the same. Your tits stay the same size. And you don't have to worry about coming home with your C4 or whatever the vertebrae is. Well is there some kind of exoskeleton we can get her? You know what I mean? Is there some kind of like, like go where they're doing like cutting edge research

on people with spinal injuries and they have like an exoskeleton that allows them to walk. Surely if she has that, she can keep her tits, right? Now, if I'm gonna, I immediately went into, when he's saying this, I'm like, all right, let's brainstorm real solutions here, right? Because I was like, what if this was me? And I think the tact I would take, first and foremost,

is you cannot be like, no. You know what I mean? You can't be like, what? Chop your tits off. No! You can't do that, right? Like you can't have a breakdown when your wife says she might get a breast reduction.

What I would do is because this, like, okay, she seems to have other, she has other back issues, right? And she's talking about weight loss, she's talking about working out more. I really would say, here's how you phrase it, you don't just talk about her tits, you just say the surgical option should be our last option.

That's what you say. Because you know what I mean? Because like when it comes to, That can be dangerous. Because when it comes to back, even back injuries in general, they just tell you like, like if she didn't have tits and they were like, either go on a strict workout regimen, take weight, take these GLP ones, or, or get back, like back surgery. Everyone tells you never get the surgery. No surgery, no back surgery helps. Now she's not talking about back surgery, she's talking about tit surgery. But either way, you say it that way, you're like, it scares me to think of you going under the knife.

I know these are routines and this happens, but you never know. Mistakes happen. Mistakes happen. It could just be, the recovery can be tough. So what you say is, you say the surgical option should be our last option. What can we do?

And now you need to be your wife's weight loss coach to save her tits. This has to be your greatest job ever. You almost have to get involved too. You have to wake up early. We're gonna do this together. You meal prep, yeah, we're doing this together. I don't want you going under the knife.

This has nothing to do with potentially losing your fat, luscious tits. This is just because, you know, this is a wake up call. We're too young to be getting surgeries to help us. You know what I mean? Like, we have to change our lives, and that's your only play if you're gonna save these tits. I think you're right.

I think you gotta make this a team effort. You gotta play the, like, very, he obviously cares about his wife a lot, but you have to let her know that you care about her too. Of course. And yeah, make that a team thing, and at the very least, just be like, if you get them reduced, can we at least put it into your ass?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we counterbalance it a little bit? Can we do a BBL, absolutely. Can we keep this titty fat and put it in your ass cheeks? And honestly, what I just said though, I actually do believe too, because if she were calling me, right,

and she's just like, hey, I'm a little overweight, I have these things, I my time thing by getting a reduction I literally would say like try everything before you I really do believe that I just think that it's also a good argument for him clearly he's not thinking cogently he's thinking because he's like he's a man who's like he's like a wild animal just scrapping for anything so we just have to give him this is a good argument, and I actually believe it.

When it comes to, like I really do have back issues, that's another reason I was like, I really have to lose weight, like I have shoulder pain. For everything, I'm like, I'm trying to lose weight, I'm trying to like, and a doctor told me, they offer me back surgery, they offer me shoulder surgery, and I just, I know those are fucking bad. And so I'm trying to do everything I can before that. even like with weight loss. It was like, you know back in the day

there was the like Lap band surgeries all that kind of stuff. I've started dabbling with the GLP one stuff. They're like that bound. It's something different I'm on a really low dose, but I'm just trying it out So it's like I'm trying I like, when you get medical shit involved, you wanna do it slowly, and for a whole year, I did nothing, I just like, took time off and I tried to lose weight to fix some of my health problems and they're slowly going down.

Some of them are faster than others. Some, I might not need medicine, some I will need, you know? And I really would say, if this is just an overall weight problem, I would try it, because her titties are gonna get smaller if she loses weight to look at smaller in a more natural way so That's really I think the only play you got pal now if it comes down to it And she's like I need to have the surgery. I have to have it done They might they might look perkier like let's try to find maybe grasses greener. Okay, yeah I guess. They might.

Just, I'm trying to help my man out here. Yeah, I guess. No, if I was him I would go to the operating room and I wouldn't tell her this and then as soon as she goes under the knife I would commit seppuku in the waiting room. I would just get a kimono and I would cut my guts open. Ah!

Do you think that there's a possibility that if he expresses how he feels about his wife's tits in like a real genuine way to her, that she'll be like, you know, this is kinda cool that my husband still finds my tits so, so like devastatingly sexy. Yes. That he won't, he can't bear to think of a world

without them. I mean, I do think there is an, I think he can, I think he can wrap it up all in one bow, where he's like, look, I, obviously I love you, but I find you so attractive. I really love your tits, I do. Obviously your health is first and foremost, but if there's something we could do

to keep these tits around, I'd really appreciate it. I do wonder, that goes to how good a relationship do they have, how truthful can you really be? Because I do think in a perfect relationship, you could be like, what if you had to get half of your dick chopped off? Would she be thrilled? Some women would be like, whatever, I don't give a fuck,

your dick's small anyway. Some women would start crying if you told them that. So it's like like I think men forget or don't wanna feel too lecherous in a relationship, but it's like it's your wife, you love her, you clearly are super attracted to her. That doesn't hurt to feel, there's a world where she just doesn't,

she might think it doesn't matter, you don't see her like that anymore, so if it helps her back and it doesn't affect you, she might be touched to know how much your fat tits, her fat tits mean to you and if she does get it Maybe you can get like a 3d laser imaging done or a mold Get like a statue. She was like a breastplate over time every time you fuck her Yeah, it's for the fake tits the fake version of her old tits on her new shitty little tits

Anniversary for old times sake You want to bust out the old puppies? You make her put on a real doll suit of herself? That's fucking hilarious, dude. Yeah, so we got you a lot of good ideas here, buddy. You got to run. I do, yeah. Sorry, we got to interview.

It's all good. You did the barstool car wash here. I did, I did everything. But yeah, sorry to the Stavi people out there. Listen to PMT, come back whenever you're in New York. Hit me up, dude. We'd love to go see Stavi live I'll plug it for you. Thank you. It was very very funny. Thank you, brother We're gonna take a little break here and we're gonna finish up with some calls after pnp FT gets out of here Thanks, buddy. See you next time

Take it easy See you dude I can't believe it. It's time to this it's time to Holy shit, it's time to keep it twisted with this week's motherfucking ass twisted ass question of the week bitch So let's see this Fucking ass, twisted ass question of the week, bitch. So, let's see, this is, ooh, Bobby, you've never been in the twisted zone before. No, I haven't, I'm a little apprehensive, actually.

Don't be, man, keeping it twisted is all about having a good time with delicious twisted teas with naturally brewed iced tea. Great flavors. We're talking peach, half and half, raspberry, original. They go down smooth and they're just right for any occasion. Isn't that right, Eldis? Keep it twisted.

Oh yeah. Why don't you hit us with the motherfucking ass twisted question of the week. Nice, you picked a nice short one, Eldis. Hey, dog, Eldis. Hope everything's good, love you guys. I'll just dive right in. Happened recently, last night, dealing with a fallout this morning. So I have a boys group chat and these are boys from middle school His boys or

12 year olds obviously our humor Much Keep going we heard it mother fuckers. Are you worse has not moved on much? We say very edgy things. We're put together guys obviously in our early 30s But sometimes we say random pretty bad stuff now Last night my girl saw some of the tech

that Were flying back and forth Definitely don't flatter me. We were talking about threethumbs with her and her cute friend. You and your friends? We're talking about fucking your girlfriend and her friend? Her cute friend.

And I definitely started it Yeah, okay with your boys. He's like this group chat anything No, like the right we just say whatever without Fired off some text regarding it. I Started it, you know obviously Other other boys chipped in a couple of you that graphic Other other boys chipped in and got pretty bad. And graphic, this morning she's packing up her shit. You're letting your... okay I'm sorry man.

We like to keep it twisted here. We like keeping it twisted. And we might even make a joke, a little quick off-hand joke. But graphically talking, your boys are graphically talking about fucking your girlfriend, and you're like we're just edgy guys All right so far you're keeping it a little too twisted for my taste sure We do we say crazy shit in our group chat with our you know me and others have been friends forever We have a group chat with our pals. Yes, we say wilds We keep it twisted in there, but we don't keep it talk about you know getting you somebody fucking

Someone's girlfriends in the ass twisted. You know what I mean? We keep it just the right amount of twisted Go ahead eldest. Let's see what else he has to say obviously, I've been apologizing and kind of Explaining trying to explain how these boys group chats from the beginning. Oh you're toast. You're so toast it's crazy. I really love this girl. I wanted to wife her. You wanted a wife for a movie. But now she's moving out Alright like I said this is maybe we need a separate segment called when keeping it twisted goes wrong When you keep it too twisted

The beauty of keeping it twisted is you keep it just twisted enough You have a couple ice cold twisted teas at a barbecue, at a bar with some friends. And you know what I mean? That's keeping it twisted, not, oh, wouldn't it be awesome if my girlfriend throated your guy's cocks? What the hell's wrong with you, man? All right, anyway, go ahead, Elders. He basically says we're done. Just any advice on how to proceed and move forward regarding this

because you know anything I say or try and justify I mean obviously it's fucked up definitely a learning situation yeah really love her and it looks like she's done. Yeah. Yeah, anyway, love you guys. Have a good one. See? Wow, this is tough, man. Like you twist it, you can always untwist, you twist it and tied it like in a knot.

Yeah, you kept it too twisted, man. I mean, look, if we have some advice for you, well, she's moving out. I mean, she didn't even advice for you well. She's moving out I Mean she didn't even say I have to go I have to go to my sisters for the weekend I have to blow I have to think about this this she got a u-haul Her shits in there, bro You're I mean how moved out is okay? It's like if she's already said if she's, of all her shit's packed up and she sent you a Venmo

for half of the shared plates and shit, you're done, right? Now if she, if she did do some version of packing a suitcase and leaving for even a week or two, It could be salvageable. Maybe, maybe if you give her some time and then are so insanely apologetic, whatever. But I mean, I also kinda, I mean, I see where she's coming from. Yeah.

You let your friends talk about fucking her and you hit them with the ha ha reaction. So it's a couple exclamation points. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless, you gotta be like, baby, I thumbsed it down. Um... Dog, I don't know what to tell you. You kept the tea twisted.

This is a learning situation. My only advice, get back to keeping it twisted the right way with some ice cold twisted tea. Have a nice time. Go with your buddies. And let this be a lesson, like, okay, from now on, we keep it less twisted than that.

We keep it twisted, but we don't keep it so twisted, we lose a relationship with someone we live with. I mean, I can't even imagine what you're saying, dude. And we say insanely fucked up shit. But that is something that, yeah, even amongst the boys, it's like you kinda, there is a little old fashioned like, all right man, we don't graph what they talk about.

By virtue of the fact that they felt free to do that, this is clearly, there's a long line of this sort of behavior and he's clearly you got to have I hate to say proprietary but like yeah, dude, this is your fucking girlfriend Yeah, yeah, I mean you we have any fucking respect for her not and also I mean we also don't know what she's mad at she might be mad that you were pining after her hot friend That's another thing she might she might be like, all right, whatever. I know you guys are idiots and you're saying disgusting shit

and I'd be pissed at you but I'd get over it. You're just open, you wanna fuck my friend? I thought you were actually becoming her friend. We're moving in together. I thought my friends are your friends. You're talking about titty-fucking her with your idiot friends from middle school So you kept it too twisted yeah awaiting the only way to come back

Keep it the right amount of twisted with twisted tea have a nice ice cold twisted tea Give this woman some space Check in in like a week send some flowers whatever, but let's be honest man You can't you you kept it a little too twisted. Yeah be honest, man, you kept it a little too twisted. Yeah. Keep it twisted. You kept it a little too twisted, so crack open a twisted tea, couple here or there

at a barbecue, couple here or there with the fellas, that's fine, don't overdo it. That's keeping it too twisted that'll put you right back in the situation that you started in, and starting you life, man, this one's over, it you kept it you kept it to twisted with this woman but lucky for you twisted tea is here whoa oh we're going back to the regular episode Oh! Oh!

He been twisted. Whoa! And we're back folks. We were gonna do this episode. PFT had a very important, he had to go call an NFL coach a bitch. Yeah. That is his job, it's awesome.

It is a pretty sweet job. Yeah. Like when you get down to it, that's what a lot of my job is. Yeah. Be like, you know what? Patrick Queen, you're kind of a pussy. Yeah. I could probably beat you up.

And he is for abandoning the Ravens. But, and we were gonna just do this solo, and then I had to shit, I took a shit that was so long, it was pretty much PFT's whole interview, so we were like, ah, why don't we just wait for PFT to get done, I'm here anyway. And so we're back and let's give some of that beautiful wisdom to the people eldest. What else we got? Hey savvy big fan longtime fan

Saw you in denver on tour. I love the show Keep doing what you're doing So it's not a crazy story or anything Uh, just a heartbroken girl who got ghosted and looking for a male perspective Yeah, so Basically, I didn't even know you could be ghosted after like a month plus of consistent dating And that's what just happened to me. I Had a man had been like pursuing me. I had a man that had been pursuing me pretty hard for over a month.

Like dates, flowers, sleepovers, we went skiing together, we cooked together. It's a one month thing? All of the things. Cake walks. And he turned into a ghost. So yeah, basically like I've mourned it, I've cried, like in our last texting interaction, I tried to open up the conversation a little bit

and he hit me with a thumbs up reaction, which felt like a pretty clear slap in the face. Thumbs up! I bet you took skiing. There's still a part of me that's like, what the hell just happened? Sure. That basically like a perfect gentleman

was air dropped into my life. And then I blinked and he was gone. As if it never happened. Damn. So yeah, so it's just been like emotional whiplash. Starting getting my, to get in my head, like what did I do wrong? Things were going so well.

He was investing a lot into me. It felt like, yeah. So would love your thoughts, your male perspective. Sure. Did I just get a more subtle and longer form of love bombing performed on me or like did he lose feelings? Was he never that serious? Okay, appreciate it. Love you guys. Bye. Yeah. I mean, did you say how old she was? I don't know, but she's definitely attractive. 100%. 100% attracted. I'm not going off the voice on that. No, she is

amazed that she got ghosted. I know. She said, I didn't know you could get ghosted after a month. Like, the con- like a fucking meteor could come out of the sky and fucking destroy your house. Like, weird shit happens. Getting ghosted a month in is definitely within the realm of possibilities guy Stopped responding to my tech. Yes, what is going on right now? I think that is a hot girl wake-up call where it's like you're in the real world Maybe she moved to a better city, you know what I mean? Like she just doesn't know like tens get mistreated in New York

You know what I mean? Like she must like, that's a little bit of that. That's definitely very. And that's not her fault. She was born like that. Born like that, yeah. It's a disability. Yeah, it is. It really can be.

So a lot's going on here, right? And I think you're right. First things first is she's hot. But this is also just a rude awakening in general whether that's the point in her life that she's at Where it's like, you know, maybe you're younger and the guys you're around just kind of like fawn over you once you're an adult like yeah people pop at you you just meet people that like don't value you the way other people used to value you and In terms of what happened if we had to do a post-mortem, I wouldn't even say this is necessarily subtle love bombing.

This feels like love bombing 101 to me. I also think there is something, I think at the heart of this, this guy's a coward. We can start there, right? Because if this was somebody who, and this is something I struggled with when I was younger and just being upfront about what I want. Like, you know, like, you know,

I'm in a place in my life now where I don't have time for a serious relationship. And like, I wanna go have fun. If we have a nice connection, like, we'll keep in touch. If I'm your city or whatever, like, maybe I will go, maybe not skiing, but like, you know what I mean? Like, maybe I'll go have a fun weekend with somebody I don't, that I date very casually,

just because that's what I like to do, but I try and be upfront and say, hey look, here's where I am in my life, we can go do some cool, fun stuff. If you're not into that, I totally get it, because it is weird, right? It's weird to just kind of pop into someone's life and be like, let me take you on a sick vacation.

Right, the first couple months or whatever. It sounds like, yeah, he also might have gotten scared because he did all this stuff in the first month. He's like, I'm actually just exhausted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a lot. He might have bit off more than he can chew. I will also say, thinking back to when I was a piece of shit with women, like more of a fuckboy, it's like, what could be possible, what happened to me multiple times in relationships is you do all this stuff and then your fear of commitment kicks in. And so this guy could very well be making a mistake here, right? That actually is possible. He might regret this.

I have, if it's any consolation, and I know it's not, because she's just sad now and this isn't gonna work. Either way, even if this guy comes back around, it's not gonna work. You're always gonna be afraid, like, is he just gonna abandon me again? Like, you can't build a solid relationship on this kind of foundation. But that is also one of the possibilities, is that he did get swept up.

He was having a good time, and it got too good. He's scared of a relationship. He did move too fast, and he kinda spooked. It's like, you know, when you think you're getting along with an alley cat, and you're like, tsk tsk tsk, and it's slowly coming at you, then you like, try and lunge and grab it, and it's like, tsk. I put the tuna down too fast.

Yes, yes, yes, exactly. It got scared of the clank. Exactly, that could be what's happening here. It could, I'm thinking that there's a chance this guy maybe is in another relationship. 100, that's so, exactly, that was another possibility, for sure. Perhaps his significant other was out of town

for like a month and a half. And he was saying to himself, I'm gonna sow my wild oats for a little bit. Let's have a fling. This could definitely be cheater stuff because cheaters, it's like, they have, the time they have for you, they like, they re, like, they take you, they're like,

oh, let's go out for the weekend. Let's go to a city nobody knows me for the weekend. You know what I mean? It's like, yes. The divorced dad coming in for his, every other weekend, you're gonna go to the amusement park. You're going to Sizzler.

He's gonna get you all the funnel cake. Yeah, exactly, yes. That's kind of what I say dating me is like, where it's like, look, I'm not around a lot. I'm like your deadbeat dad that comes around once a month and you have an awesome weekend. And then it's like, you may never hear from me again. You speed away in your convertible.

So that, I think that's actually, that's something I thought about too. And it might not even be necessarily dating somewhere, like in a committed relationship, he might just be the kind of guy that had a couple, has a bit of a roster going on. And it's like, you're a high profile draft pick that he tried out as a starter. And he was like, this actually isn't working for us. Let's train her for fourth round picks.

You know what I mean? His roster is so full right now. There's no piece because you would be like a prime piece of a contender. Yes. And you should be. And you deserve that, by the way. You deserve to be a prime piece somebody builds their life around. Especially in Denver. I feel like... Oh she's in Denver. Denver has a lot of dudes in Denver. Yeah, there is some there's some pretty hot girls in Denver. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They're around for sure. So that does make sense to me why it's Denver.

You know what I mean? Maybe she moved to Denver. You know, maybe she's like small town Midwest mountains whatever to the big city, gets fucking treated poorly for the first time, gets womanized for the first time. But yeah, I think your instincts to mourn this and to let this go are correct because look, best-case scenario, we're just dealing with an incredibly immature guy, somebody who you don't want, somebody who doesn't communicate what they want, overdid it, got too lovey-dovey for you and for him probably.

That's best case scenario, is somebody who's a very poor communicator and is so scared of any kind of conflict. Maybe he did just wanna break up, maybe he's just something, but he can't even, he's such a coward, he won't even just have that conversation with you yeah the fact that he's not replied that he's emphasizing text messages thumbs up that's a him

problem the last thing you say to someone you date like and I don't even by the way I'm not that I think ghosting is kind of a it makes sense in like a casual right there's certain instances which like look we went out a little bit here and there it's not the best thing in the instances where it's like, look, we went out a little bit here and there, it's not the best thing in the world, but it's, people really overdo it. You're gonna get your head, is a half thought out apology breakup text that much better than getting ghosted? Well the thumbs up is the worst. The thumbs up is crazy. I would rather get a thumbs down. I would, I'd rather be like, is there a chance?

Maybe we can just talk about this, at least I can know if I did something wrong so I can try to work on myself. I would much rather get the thumbs down at that point than like thumbs up and no response. 100%. Like just end it. Yeah, absolutely, the thumbs down's all.

I actually would have respected a thumbs down. But either way, like the thing about ghosting is, yes, you'd like it some, you'd like to know for sure, but closure's bullshit. That's a myth. That doesn't really happen. You are gonna feel this way. Like if a guy you really didn't see it coming out of anywhere

breaks up with you after a month, you're not gonna feel better than if you get ghosted. You might just be a little, you're in the dark for less time, but ultimately you got the point either way. So best case scenario, there's somebody you don't really want in your life. Worst case scenario, there's like a weird manipulative guy who might be cheating, whatever. And if he pops his head back in, you don't want that. You know what I mean? And if, and I will say the only advice I would give you, because again, I'm talking about dealing with versions

of me where I would do this, right? And then I would get spooked, and then I would go away, and then I would like weasel my way, and then I'd be like, fuck, I miss her. I was an idiot, and I would weasel my way back into, you know, some of these girls' lives. It was never good. Do you ever do the, like, I apologize

for being a weasel conversation? I would now, because I do think I'm different. Yeah, but I never did that I mean, I guess I would do like I'm just so freaking effed up. Yeah, I'm sorry Which is like pathetic, but you're just saying that just so that you can get just to get another crack Yeah, just to get another crack. Yeah, you don't mean you don't mean any of it. Yeah, not at the time I didn't or I thought I did, but who knows. So what I'm going to tell you is like, this is just par for the course.

If this guy pops his head back in, the only way you should even consider is to be like, we have to be very explicit about what we're looking for. And don't lead him either, just see what he wants. And if he says anything you don't like, don't even accept it. I lean towards just move on completely. This is just not somebody who you wanna build a relationship with and yeah.

Also, but just to take, again, devil's advocate, he might have gone on a little too strong but the skiing's a little crazy but also at the end of the day, it is a month. What's consistent dating in a month mean? Three dates, you know what I mean? Like a few dates in that weekend trip, like that's something, but you know.

You bring flowers maybe on the second date. I guess the flowers and the overdoing it. Is that love bombing though? Love bombing is one of the, I know it's a real thing, and I know that like it can be a big warning sign if it's taken to extremes. If you're a soci, but it's also like, also when you first sue me, I'm more fucking enthusiastic

when something is new and fun. Everyone's like that. Some of this is just, this guy's sin is just not being open. It's not, if you go all out, like let's say, let's play devil's advocate and say he was courting her in a nice way. None of this sounds bad until the ghosting. So if he gave her his best shot,

and then for whatever reason he realized I don't think this is going anywhere, if this guy says I had a great time with you, I don't regret any of it, but I'm realizing I'm not ready for this, I feel too strong, whatever. If he just says anything to her, she's sad, but he's not a bad guy. So I don't know that coming on strong

is necessarily the problem. The problem is just not communicating. So yeah, good luck. We're sorry you're dealing with heartbreak for the first time as a hot woman. Get back out on that horse. There's somebody out there who's gonna treat you right, who's gonna stick around for the long haul, baby girl.

Yeah, there's some guys out there that like hot chicks still. Yeah. You'll be okay. They're still out there. We all have our types. We all have our little quirks. What else we got, LD?

So, LD, I'm the esteemed guest. Hey, Savvy, as someone who isn't married, I need your tape. Basically, I'm in a six-year relationship. Six years. Everything's great. No issues there. We trust each other. We communicate well.

And we just, honestly, we just have a laugh. Like it's great. However, my boyfriend is a few years older than me, turning 30 this year. I'm into the first wedding of four weddings this year and they're all either his family or friends like my group are definitely not in that stage right now. But at the wedding we were just at there were a few comments thrown around about how he needs to wife me up, put a ring on it etc and here lies the issue. I guess my view is that I don't think I want to get married or have kids because well the way

I kind of rationalize it to myself is I feel like I'd only be doing it because society expects me to do it, not because it's genuinely what I want to do deep down. However I'm also that annoying woke person who like hates establishment and that gets a kick out of, I guess, going against the grain. So then on the flip side, I'm asking myself, do I actually not want to get married and have kids because I just enjoy being difficult and annoying, which is maybe my ego and isn't being true to myself either. I don't know if that even makes sense.

It does. I mean, kids is pretty much flat out. Nothing's coming out of that. Marriage, is it something I should reconsider? I think my partner's fairly keen to do both. I love him very much, but I'm not really sure where that leads us. Anyway, love you, babe. Bye. Yeah, and I think I'm gonna land with Scottish.

I don't think it's Irish. I thought it was Irish. The third, I think, yeah. I guess it could be Scottish. I think that, I don't know. Either way, sorry if we're wrong. This is a very important question and let's definitely get to it,

but I just wanna, I've got a take that I've been brewing on for the last two weeks. Please, please. I don't think that the new Outback Steakhouse voice guy is actually Australian Oh shit Listen to his voice I think I've only heard the commercial in passing

Yeah But it's really over the top It's like no really it was J.S.Raw It's like that's not, that's not, it's somebody pretending to do an Australian accent I don't know how we can prove it or how we can look it up Look up Outback Steak his voice actor, Elders. But Stavi, I love that your audience trusts you so much. Yeah.

That they hit you up and they're like, Stavi, should I get married? And I can think of no better compliment that a man can have with his audience, that they trust you that implicitly. Yes. Well, I have some thoughts here. OK, so apparently it's this guy, Toby Ricketts. Where's he from? Where's he from? Let's find out. He's a British voiceover. British! Oh wait wait, dialects ranging from, he specializes, but where is he from? He doesn't want, I bet you he doesn't want to

say. Yeah he's a chameleon man. Just he's not Australian. I'm telling you Toby Rick is a multi award-winning national voiceover 25 plus years of experience. Where is he from? Where did he grow up? His custom-built studio, I don't know if we're gonna find it in the heart of New Zealand Studio in the heart of New Zealand, Oh, New Zealand. From an Austin-built studio in the heart of New Zealand. Okay. I knew there was something up with him. So something a little off. Yeah.

Not quite, it's like Canada, but it's a little. I think you- There's a difference. There's a difference, I think you're right. They say VG Moit, as opposed to Veggie Moit. Yeah. All right, I'm glad we got, you know, vindicated PFT. Yeah, I feel good.

I feel good. Like that's honestly, like that is, that's maybe the best take I've ever had to call that shot. You called that. They tried to fuck us up. And they did overdo it. Like he's, it's very, I feel like it's a more intense, there's more bells and whistles on his voice, I think.

Now, going back to our- It's private equity, that's what that does. Yeah, dude. They cut it down. They're ruining our voice actors. You get it. Australians need to be voicing our fake Australian chain. That's what started in like Florida or something.

Okay, so our pal here. Now, there's a couple things going on here. One, the same, like I think our friend is dealing with sort of like the kind of like militant girl version of like we were like kind of trolls early in our youth, like in our twenties. And we talked about earlier in the episode where it's like, you're kind of like, we were like kind of trolls early in our youth, like in our 20s. And we talked about earlier in the episode where it's like, you're kind of trying, you were like this, your whole persona was a character. You were never really yourself.

And like when old men try and stay trolls and try and be, dude, there's nothing more pathetic than an edgy 40 year old man, right? Like, oh, I'm going there. You don't have anything to say, you just like getting a rise out of people. I think you could argue the flip side of that is like a girl who like, you know, in college is like, fuck the patriarchy, I'm never getting married. And then you kind of grow up and you're like, I probably don't want kids, but I love this guy.

And making a commitment to him is not the same as like, I think maybe our friend here might be holding on to her more extreme values of youth. Everybody softens in youth. I don't believe that, I think there's a bullshit thing of like the older you get, the more conservative you get. I don't think that's true at all. I think if that's true, you're selfish.

And like, you know, there's that adage. But I think whatever you are, most people will become more extreme with age. They tend to soften. You see the nuance everywhere. I mean, I guess a lot of people are getting weirdly radicalized by QAnon shit these days, but it's not who they were.

They just become a totally different person because of mental illness or whatever. There is a change in one way or the other depending on how angry you are At that time for sure. I I guess actually maybe that's the world is getting so much worse that I probably have a little more extreme Like redistribution politics than I did but I would say from a person something so personal like the like I think Like it's easy to have certain ideas and then you're faced with them when you grow up. The idea of fuck marriage as an institution,

that's easy to say when you're 20 and you haven't met someone you love more than anything, you haven't met someone that you wanna settle down with, and then you meet them and you're like, you could have a commitment ceremony, you don't have to get married in a church. I married eldest for Christ's sake, it wasn't a commitment ceremony. You don't have to get married in a church. I married Eldest for Christ's sake. It wasn't a real ceremony.

Did you have somebody that was ordained by the minister of the universe? I was ordained by the universal life church. He was ordained but it was fake because we already did it at City Hall. We just kind of did it for the wow factor. Of course. I don't want to say this type of girl

because she sounds actually very well adjusted. I love her. She's yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't wanna say this type of girl, cause she sounds actually very well adjusted. I love her, look, she's one of our pals. She's a subscriber, you know what I mean, yeah. But I have seen this type of person in rom-coms before. This is a classic rom-com setup. Where it's like, I will never settle down with a man. No man can treat me as good enough as I will treat myself. Exactly, exactly.

And then you meet Prince Charming, you're like, I will suck his dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that sort of thing. I'm not saying that's where she's at, but I know that I know you're talking about you're talking It's more like workaholic. Yes, no time for a man because she's married to the job Yeah, that's kind of the rom-com thing for sure like I'm Matthew McConaughey comes in and then he's laid back And he's and he's annoys you but there's just something about yeah, you know like Yes, this is a different person. But yes, I know what you're talking about

And by the way, those rom-com characters statistically are correct Single like women without children like they they have all these like mortality Statistics it's like and it's and I'm not saying you shouldn't do it because I think You're clearly sacrificing something for the next generation, but it's like women without kids Like if you look at like quality of life, yeah, like mortality Yeah, just so much unmarried women. Yeah, that have it goes like in in most of our families It's like the women are fucking like a lot of women like sacrifice a lot for like my friends who have kids like the the women Like my friends who have kids the dudes they're like, yeah, it's pretty fun. I, you know, it's a lot, you know, sleep's a little bad.

And then, but your, your friends who are girls that have newborn babies, they're like, I've thought about myself every day, even though he's the light of my life. You know what I mean? Like the, the, what it takes out of a woman is crazy. So I get where she's coming from. The dads are like, I, I don't get to play as much golf as I like.

The women are like, I had to go to the doctor four times last week because I had a nipple infection. Yes, yes, exactly. So when they're feeding on, you're literally sucking life out of them. They're sucking your life force. Yeah. Like you're literally, it's like crazy.

I'm drinking her bones right now. I made my mom melt down some of her bones so I can suck them out of her tits. Yeah, no, in this case I understand, actually I completely understand why a woman in her teens, twenties, maybe even thirties, like they might not really be super into the prospect of marriage because they're hanging out with a bunch of 23 year old guys. True, true. And do you really, nobody-

Is that who you want to settle down with? Yes. Nobody should want to marry a 23 year old guy. Yeah, true. And do you really, nobody. Is that who you wanna settle down with? Nobody should want to marry a 23 year old guy. Yeah. That's a great point. I was the biggest piece of shit when I was like 23. Me too, are you kidding me? Unmarryable. Without question. Unmarryable.

In fact, the kind of girl that would want to marry me at 23, I wouldn't want to marry either. Of course. As you get older, you start to mature a little bit, you find nuance in things, I don't know if it's soft around the edges, but you develop a better understanding about why people are the way they are.

And who you are, by the way. And who you are too, yeah. Because you have this fake understanding of this is the type of person I'm gonna be, and then you actually face stuff, and you might react differently than you thought you would, and you realize who you actually are, and you know, it's very fluid the more you age.

Yeah, in her case, I would say that divorce is an option. Sure, sure. If you don't have kids, divorce, it's sad, it sucks. Everybody's upset for a little bit. It will affect your future relationships because you'll be thinking, you might spend time blaming yourself for things. It can't fuck with you mentally,

but divorce is a viable option if you decide I don't really want to be with this guy for the rest of my life. And the other thing I'll say is like yes, I agree. And if you love him and you really want that, that's fine. Now, so basically I think we're kind of landing on, you're not betraying your belief system. If you get married to somebody you love

more than anything in the world. Don't be that fucking dumb. All those poems I wrote in college don't mean anything to me anymore. Yes, exactly. But now, the only thing that kinda got my antenna up a little bit is that she definitely doesn't want kids and at the very end she says, I think my partner is keen on both.

Now, that is the actual deal breaker. Yes. Because if he if this is the guy that you love, you have this great relationship with and you say, hey, I don't really want to get married in the church. I don't want to make a big deal about it, but I love you. I want to be with you forever. And he wants that, too. And then you're like, of course, like I've told you big deal about it, but I love you, I wanna be with you forever. And he wants that too, and then you're like, of course, like I've told you, now that's changed, but I wanna be very clear, I never want kids.

And this is not something, if you don't want, if you really want them, we shouldn't get married, because this is not something I'm gonna change my mind on. I don't want you pressuring me, because sometimes I think people do that too, whether they want kids or they don't want kids They think they can change a fundamental like Opinion of their partner and they're like we'll cross that bridge when we get to it and then you get there and that's the act

Like to me, I think this couple could get married. No problem I think the problem would be if he really wants kids and you really don't want kids That's why you don't get married. Not because of some idea of wanting to be like a contrarian to your mom or whatever the fuck. Right, I think you would, if he really wanted kids, you would either go through a phase where one person was pressuring the other, you get into a lot of fights,

and then on the outcome of that, you would carry resentment towards that person. Without question. And if you didn't have resentment to him, for him constantly being like, do you want kids, do you want kids? He would hold resentment like, I'm never going to have the life that I wanted.

That I really wanted, yeah. And even if you guys grow old together, it'll be like that old couple that just hate each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No idea why they live together. Right. They just go out to eat like once a week, they don't talk at the dinner table.

It's very awkward for everybody. Of course. So you'll want that. There's a lot of places for love to disappear, that's for sure. So yeah, you're still relatively young, it sounds like she says he's 30, she's a couple years younger.

You just have to, again, let that shit go of what you thought. You're in a place now where this is where your life is really like But actually talk about the stuff that matters I think marriage is something you can sort of you know cave on if you want to look at it that way but kids it sounds like You know, she seems pretty dead set. So just whatever it is Make sure you guys are on the same page and it can can't be sad, by the way. It sucks if you completely line up, except for kids.

And that happens, you know? And some people really don't want them, and I get that. I'm a wishy washy guy, I could go either way, honestly. She's gone to what, four weddings? So you're all, that's been like the only thing you've been thinking about for the last year. Yeah, you're going through the gauntlet, too. The gauntlet, so you're always thinking about weddings,

everyone around you is getting married. Like when I moved to New York, I never fucking liked the Knicks, ever. But then the Knicks started winning some games. I'm like, kind of fun being in the atmosphere. Of course. The Knicks winning a playoff game. It's all love, it's beautiful.

And I'm like, I kind of hope the Knicks win tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be great. That's what you're going through. You go to enough weddings, you're like, ooh. I could see myself. I could be in one of these. Getting drunk in a suit. Yeah, with the people I That would be great. That's what you're going through. You go to enough weddings, you're like, ooh. I can see myself. I could be in one of these. Getting drunk in a suit.

Yeah, with the people I actually like in the world. Yeah, they are fun. A good wedding's fucking great. But yeah, good luck out there. Our guest was Scottish, hopefully we're right. What's up, stuff? I'm 23 years old. I'm a relatively thin dude, relatively honest in kind of putting it lightly. I'm a fuck, I'm skin and bones man. I'm six foot two, 130

pounds. Oh my God. And no matter what I do, I can gain weight, but that's not even the point of this. My point is that I got a lot of larger friends a lot of my friends are on the heavier side and I feel like I can kind of relate to them in the way that like They struggle with weight loss. I started with weight gain, you know And I just I don't know how to like talk to them about that

About just like sounding like a narcissistic fucking asshole being like oh, yeah, man Like I can eat whatever the fuck I want and I just never gained the weight but like Even right now I feel pretty talking to you about this, but what the fuck Struggle and I just I want to know how I can talk to them about that. And thanks, bum show. Start counting your steps. That's interesting.

That is really interesting because he really wants connection. Yeah. You know, like that's the thing here is that. He wants validation. Yeah, he wants, I guess, yeah, he is struggling, right? Like, cause the thing is girl it's just I

Would I like maybe you know how old is he? 23 so that's a couple years because if you're 20 at 23 would I want to hear this from a skinny guy probably not Yeah, you know what I mean now now I have again more. I could see how their lives could be hard I just but even still the, little fat loser in me kicks in and I'm like, come on, man, 6'2". There's so many bitches talking about wanting some bean pole looking, that's the type of guy that can get pussy.

A 6'2", I mean, I'm 130s crazy. That's very skinny for 6'2". It is very skinny, but there's goth bitches that wanna fuck Slender Man. You know what I mean? I do feel like I see that. I do feel like that is an archetype of big titted goth girls with the skinniest boyfriend you've ever seen in your life.

You want the heroin addict boyfriend that's not, like you don't have to deal with all the mess of actually being on heroin. Yeah, there's a spot for you there. But if this guy waits 10 years and he's still at these dimensions, six to 130, then I think more people will understand, like there's a problem.

Your metabolism is like too fast. But at this age, it is skinny, but I feel like that's tough to do a what was me session on being too skinny. Yeah, especially when you're tall. Like here's what I'll say, you can connect with these guys if you don't get pussy. But if you're getting pussy, do not try and commiserate with a fat 23 year old just from my experience

If I had a nerd a tall nerd who we were both struggling to get push in fact Some my friend I had a good friend of mine was a tall nerd that couldn't get pussy You know what I mean? Like who was skinny like that's at that age That's what it all boils down to. Because there's, you know what I mean? Like that's the only thing that matters in life at that age. And I, again, now because my life is more full than that, I could talk to someone with the struggles. But really, like that's your way in.

If you fuck, you can't really commiserate with guys who are fat, in my experience. Now, if you don't get pussy and you could talk, and like you could be going to the gym with your fat friend and you're drinking Weight gainer and you're like don't talk to them about How I'm eating all this ice cream and nothing's happening. Don't say that shit. Just be like, you know, my body hurts I don't have enough like fat lubricating my joints like I can't lift, I'm weak. Pick the stuff that actually. Weak is a good one. Weak is good, yeah.

Because the big boys that are going to the gym, they're probably at least able to throw some weight around. Yeah, when I was eating well and not, because now I'm trying to, I'm on a calorie deficit, so my numbers are just kind of staying stagnant. But dude, when we were shooting Tires and I was just eating like shit, I felt strong as fuck.

Did you do rewrites on that? Were you like, hey season two, can I not be eating in every scene? Yeah. I'm trying to drop a few little views. I love that. I was basically like Brad Pitt in Ocean's Eleven. But I think, you know what's funny?

We forgot we did that. And I think I was only eating in like, you know, I don't think we kept the meme up. But I don't remember, I ate, listen, I did not eat on the show. Right. Definitely when I was stressed, I don't think we kept the meme up, but I don't remember, I ate, listen, I did not eat on the show. I definitely, when I was stressed, I went back, because I think the character is the kind of guy who eats when he's stressed, you know?

That deep character that Dave is, that I had to do a lot of theatrical work to get into his mindset, it was tough. Did they make prop cupcakes, like they make prop cigarettes so you can like smoke all day? No, they had like a spit, they make prop cigarettes so you can like smoke all day? No, they did. They had like a spit. Like it's so funny because they... Yeah, actually I'm remembering one scene where the whole point was I was eating something disgusting and it was like fast food and like anchovies and like it was just like a weird fucked up like meal

and they were like, we got a spit bucket for you, we got everything and I just fucking housed it all. I made them like, I like they wrote it and it was like sardines and like crackers and I were like, we got a spit bucket for you, we got everything, and I just fucking housed it all. I made them like, they wrote it and it was like, sardines and like crackers, and I was like, I literally was like, I don't think this is trashy enough, I think you guys need to go to Wendy's and get me nuggets and fries. Like I actually like punched up how fucked up his meal was. And they were like, oh yeah, we'll get you through this,

and I always, always ended up eating more snacks. They didn't need the prop, they tried to do prop stuff and I was like, I'm just eating these. Like at a certain point, I was eating, we were doing a party scene and I just was eating food that had just been sitting out for like three days and they're like, that popcorn hasn't been reset and I'm like, it's fucking popcorn.

You know what I mean? What, the consistency's a little off? Yeah, but yes. I love the idea of you giving notes though. Like, I think the character would have Wendy's too. Yeah, I know, you're like, did you give notes? Stop making me eat. I was like, no, my notes were,

if we're gonna be realistic, he'd be eating Wendy's right now. I think with this caller, it also matters if your friends, if they're also tall, or if they're short and heavier. Because if you're tall and skinny, and there's a short fat guy, you're complaining about the two things that I want.

Yes, that's absolutely, if this kid is fucking like, and I'm an interesting case because I legitimately didn't think I was short until like three years ago. How tall are you? I'm five seven. But growing up, I was like, Eldest, I would just be around, all my friends were taller than me.

And in my head, like in my head, Eldest is like four inches taller than me. You know what I mean? Like he's got a full foot on me. But in my head I'm like, he's a little taller. We're close. And then my friends were six feet, I'm like, we're the same height.

Like I just have like, I'm just blessed. And it didn't, I was so like worried about being fat, it didn't dawn on me that I was also short. But if, yeah, you cannot be going up to 300 pound five five guys and be like, life is so hard for me. And I feel bad for him because he means well. And he is having a struggle. But if you're fucking, don't, just find other skinny people

man, you know what I mean? Go make friends with anorexic girls, you know what I mean? Yeah, your strategy anorexic girls. You know what I mean? Yeah, your strategy of just saying I'm weak, that's a good one. I'm weak is good. Because that's an actual insult to yourself that your other bigger friends might give a little.

It has to be self-deprecating. Yes, and I think they'll appreciate that. Because yeah, what he said, you can't tell them real problems that don't sound like problems. Because that would drive me crazy when I had a friend who was like, ugh, I just can't put on weight.

And it's like, I can't not put on weight. You know what I mean? Like I physically can't not. Like I have such a horrible metabolism that it would, and I love eating so much that it would enrage me. I would be like, I wish I could eat for you. Like I wish I could eat for people with that kind of metabolism.

I bet you I could get him to gain weight, I'll tell you that much. I think that a lot of guys that are trying to put on weight like this, they don't know what it means to eat like shit. They don't. To truly eat like shit. They really don't. I have a glass of whole milk with every meal.

I can't put on any weight. But I mean, if this guy is trying to put on weight, that is a struggle, it's a legit struggle. It is, but. That you're dealing with, and I'm sure that looking yourself in the mirror, you see a bunch of stuff about your body that you would like very much to change. And you should continue to work on that

because it will eventually work for you. And if it doesn't, then there might be medical thing that you have to look into. But you're doing the right things. I would say just give it a couple years. The metabolism's gonna even out a little bit. And yeah, and exactly, it'll even out. And it's like, yeah, work on it the way fat people try and work on losing weight.

You have to stay disciplined, you know what I mean? You have to hit a calorie goal, but it's in the other way. And if you're not somebody who eats that much, he probably has to eat like, you know, he's 6'2". He probably has to eat like 3,000 calories, 4,000. He has to gain weight, he has to eat a lot. Like stuff that does, that is hard to put down. So like, you know, get weight gainer, get protein shakes,

whatever, all that kind of shit. And stick with it the way, you know, other people stick to their diet. And do your best, like I said, if you couch it in the right ways and you're not getting pussy, you can make friends with fat people if you share the struggle.

Go to gym fat guys, because exactly, PFT, you're right, pussy, you can make friends with fat people if you share the struggle. Go to gym fat guys because exactly, PFT you're right, they're stronger than you, they might feel superior to you in the gym even though you're superior to them outside. You need to balance out the relationship if you want camaraderie of this sort. And you know, if not, you know, I don't know what to tell you little buddy,

it's gonna take some time, but if you're getting pussy, you're fine. I'm like you Stavi, I didn't know that I was that short until I started part of my take Yeah, yeah, I'm only hanging out with professional athletes on the show All the pictures are hilarious. So here's it's just sit next to Blake Griffin for a little bit And then very quickly you realize yeah, I'm a freak. Yeah, I look like a freak now Well, yeah, especially all those big cats, you know six Everybody that works here is like pretty big

That's a tough one man, but yeah, good luck to our door fucking Jack Skellington ass Kevin Durant ass motherfucker. They're called in here You know, we're rooting for you and it is a struggle. That's the only guy in America that is in the healthy range on the BMI chart That chart is so fucked up. You're so right about that. Oh, you have something quick for us to go out on, Elvis? Here we go. Sorry baby, so I'm listening to the Sorry, I keep forgetting. Sorry baby, so I'm listening to the

McDade Maniac episode episode two and I just got to the question where girl asked if she should try to hook up with her mailman and Ye I gotta say as a mailman just yeah, no look up with him Does it matter what the situation is? Just hook up with your mailman. Good idea. Okay, bye. Good idea. Good idea. He's smart, dude. Did they do it through the slot? Yeah, yeah. Put your dick through the slot like an old-fashioned glory hole. Yeah, this guy's hilarious. This guy's just dreaming this will happen to him.

I think that is fun. I mean, Mailman, the Milkman, that's an old fashioned thing. Yeah. Fucking a guy that can't really get back to you, like, they might, Mailman must be fucked with like phones and modern society. In a cashless world without the internet, traveling guys used to get so much pussy. I'm fucking the seamless guy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A guy whose every instant is tracked. Like you can't cheat the way you used to. And horny housewives were probably like, half of them are probably suicidal. Half of them are like, you know, their doctor jerks them off and gives them clonopin because they can't, they can't like... They're hysterical. Yeah, they're hysterical like I know you'll fix you

I'm gonna make you cum real. Yeah, dude So may I bet you so many just horny dissatisfied housewives Just fuck the mailman or a milkman back in the day and we need to get a little bit more of that going on So yeah, like this guy said fuck the mailman. I remember that episode McDade's maniacs volume 2 And I think we told her she could fuck the mailman right she was confused she was asking about asking him out she didn't say fuck him right as a mailman is he like is she getting good vibes from them they're hitting it off she said they got a good vibe they like he

introduced himself to her one day or something and yeah that's how funny women are it's like do you think I could, it's like, yes, of course. Yeah, don't finish the sentence. Just ask him. That's the thing, like I think JP said on that episode, he was like, I've never spoken to my mailman once. Like what man has, has a mailman ever introduced himself to a man?

I don't think so. No. I don't think so. I think maybe back in the day, I think that, like it was the part of the community. Like you knew the officer walking down the street, whistling, swirling the baton. That's Officer O'Shea. Yes, yes, yes.

That's Jimmy the Mailman, whatever. But yeah, do you know the first name of a single one of your mailmen? I'm trying to think. Like, from childhood I do, because yeah, we got the tail end of that community thing. But like, in New York, they change anyway. Like, I never. So the fact that this guy went up and talked to you means he's trying to smash I think he's saying what's up. Yeah. Yeah, so good fuck this and you know fuck this guy if he's your mailman folks

And thank you for listening. Thanks for calling me PFT. Thanks for coming brothers. It's so fun. Thank you for having me Absolutely listen to pardon my take anything else you want to plug? Uh, Pardon My Take, macro dosing. Love it. Yep. Fun times. Fun times. Eventually we're gonna get that, we're gonna get that Breaking Bad feature film. That's coming out, but more importantly, uh, Regular Weed. Regular, oh that's right, we're bringing back Regular Weed, dude. I'm gonna get on the phone with some, some cannabis people.

Talk to some people, let's make this happen. Yes, cause we, we need a lot of money. We need to do the fucking, the predator handshake for this. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, we are the two archetypes of the guy who wants regular weed. I just want to smoke and not get debilitating anxiety

in public. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I want to have it be able to fake my way through a conversation with a cashier. I want to smoke a whole joint with a girl, and who I know, who have a good good relationship and not in the middle of it Get so scared. I'm like, I feel like I'm in middle school again. Yeah, like I can't like going for a kiss Yeah, dude, that's happened to me where I'm like, I've invited girl over to express like in the text

Like let's hook up, you know, I mean like there is no confusion and then I get high and I'm like, oh Hope she likes me. Yeah, I mean like I just want weed that I can get my dick I'm like, oh, I hope she likes me. You know what I mean? Like I just want weed that I can get my dick sucked without worrying, you know? Regular weed, folks. That's what we're bringing to the table. I want to be able to have the courage to have the best thing possible happen to me

that's already been agreed upon happening. Yeah. And not freak myself out so much that I'm like, I'm just gonna go jack off later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, nice to see you, ma'am. And I'm like, I'm just going to go jack off later. Well, nice to see you, ma'am. And just fucking go away scared. All right, folks, that's going to do it for us.

We will talk to you next week. Bye bye.