Stavvy's World - #132 - Joe List

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

Dear friend Joe List returns to the pod to discuss his new special SMALL BALL, the etymology of his favorite Japanese word, how awesome it is to chill with his son, how AI will crush us, watching children's shows, and much more. Joe and Stav help callers including a guy who doesn't want to invite his alcoholic friend to his wedding, and a college student who's worried about getting caught for using AI to write papers. Watch Joe List's new special SMALL BALL out now on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXAEFZ-z_ns See Joe List live and follow him on social media: https://www.comedianjoelist.com/ https://www.facebook.com/comedianjoelist/ https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy/ 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Welcome everybody to Stoppies World 904-800. Stop, call in, we'll solve all your problems. Returning one of our favorites, Big Joe List, baby. How we doing? My new nickname. Big Joe. Biggie, Biggie, Biggie. This is my favorite show to do. Can I tell you that? I love that. Number one favorite podcast to do. That makes me feel good. Listen, are you garbage? Then we might, oh, then we might be drunk. Yeah, yeah, okay. And Rogan. Rogan, it's Rogan wine.

No way, now I know you're fucking lying. Let's go for it, let's go three hours. Just spending three hours nervously trying to not say anything about immigrants. I'm like this, uh-huh. They're not trying to get clipped agreeing with something fucked up. I still, you write Twitter, Joe List Joe Rogan, there's still everyday 15 minute worst guest

of all time, he blew it, he sucks, he folded, he fucking stinks. The show is fun, but you do three hours and there's like an hour and a half, which is what a podcast should be, that's awesome, and then you're high as shit. And you're like, did I did I say eugenics is good? You know what I mean? Like I've smoked a joint. And I'm like, what did I just nod along with? Because I'm not I'm trying to not be high. I'm not even smoking joint. I'm just there playing YouTube videos.

I'm like, whoa, crazy. I will say we did love we did about 40. One of my I do like that on one of my episodes We did about 40 minutes on squirting and we looked at real scientific evidence. You know we look we were squirting real I Have on the record as saying that I think it's different than piss But next with piss well, that's the thing that's like saying kool-aid is water. You know what I mean? Oh, I think it has a little some extra deepid is water. You know what I mean? Oh, I think it has a little some extra. Thank you. You know what I mean? Like yes, you put some you put a little Kool-Aid in water becomes a different thing. You put some squirt concentrate and piss

It becomes squirt, but that's my philosophy But why does some women do it and some don't just some can't you know different? it and some don't just some can't you know different shapes in inner pussy shapes I think I think it's purely mechanical shapes I think so I think their pussies are shaped by the way you know we've immediately gotten demise been 90 seconds we've said squirting anyway who gives reverse Bukakis my biggest fantasy you want to be reverse Bukakis yeah with Pussies? Yeah, bad. Badly. I don't watch a lot of porn, but when I do, I go straight to reverse Bukkake. I imagine there's maybe eight of those videos. You must have seen them all. You're out of your mind.

Really? It's a thriving... Yeah, there's a couple thousand. I found one where it's just male women. It's like male carriers. I thought you were like, it's just male women. Yeah. Yeah. I realize that sound. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I didn't realize that sound. Maybe that was a Freudian slip. I found out where it's a guy,

and the guys are jacking off on him. And their squirt is like white. It's white and it's stinky, and it looks so much more delicious to me than women's for some reason. No, reverse Bukakis, they're all lined up and calling you a little bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just wanna be dominated. Interesting. By you and Eldest. Yeah. We don want to be dominated interesting. Yeah, and eldest We don't have it in us. I don't think me and eldest could that'd be so funny We had the tag team someone I got a lot of spunk for you You know, it's fucked up actually what would happen is eldest is animal would take over I don't like eldest locks into a time away he talks about sex that even makes me, his famously horny and best friend of 30 years,

even makes me like, oh, Jesus, Eldest, relax. There's certain people, my friend, I feel like I'm always poking fun of my dear friend Ronon Hirschberg, but he's the guy that likes to tell you what he's jerking off to, and it just makes me very unsettled. Even though I talked about reverse bukkake, but we're being silly geese. I just feel like I jerking off to. And it just makes me very unsettled. Even though I talked about reverse Bukaki,

but we're being silly geese. I just feel like I jerked off to her today. And like real deadpan eyes. I mean, you're like, Jesus Christ. You don't want to think of Renan. If you saw a close up of Renan's face while he was jacking off, his jowls are moving, he's dead eyed, you know?

Cause I've contended, I've told this to his face, much fatter face than body. So just thinking of him jacking off you think of his fat face Yeah, but if he had less look maybe he's a nice little midsection. I wonder what his penis looks like I find it so hard to think about comedians fucking I brought this up to mark Norman He's the one that's it's the hardest to think about as he's rubbing his chin and being like, I'm coming. Ah, gizz. You can come. Come, shot.

He's nutting. You can come, but you can't go. I'm coming. Where am I going? I just pictured the woman being like, oh my god, I thought the bar was no, but does yes mean yes? She's like, I want to see his abs, but now I got to deal with this. He's got a foot up on the stool

Yeah doing this was getting head thought it'd be better Was this worth cheating on my wife No one is important to know he doesn't I don't want. I think that's important to say. No, he doesn't. I don't want to. No, but it's a fun, it's fun to think of him being like, oh, mistake. I said I wouldn't, but now I am. I know, he doesn't cheat. He's not Chris DiStefano. He's a good guy.

No, he's Italian. Oh, I see. Yeah, we can assume. I know. No, Chris is,'s Italian. Oh We can assume yeah No, Chris is uh, I do love accusing him of being a piece of shit I saw him yesterday at Sam's house actually I was gonna go and then I got fucking caught up busting It's hard about throwing a basketball party then your team loses and you're just a bummer really tough really tough. Yeah. Yeah I wanted to go was a good group fun group nice little hang

Really tough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to go was a good group fun group nice little hang Our boys JP Ian Lara a lot of good a lot of good people were over there. Love Ian Lara He's the man low-key loves to really argue. I don't want to get too inside baseball people Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Laura's with that guy our friends jacking off and fucking and he's one of those guys though He likes to debate like before you know it. You're just in a shouting man He's not unlike you I bet you too. We had a great time on the road. Yeah Yeah, because we would get locked in but always good always good stuff But yeah great group had too much pizza. I'm trying to be trying to be a good boy. I just had two slices myself Sam comes through he's got a whole and no one's eating that many slices. It's like comedians are like, you know, I don't even know, the other half of the people

are just like a band and like they're hot girlfriends who maybe like have a quarter. At Sam's house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's the band? He's got friends who are in a band. They were cool. That's gross.

Well, I'm just saying, it's either half scavenger comics who are gonna eat four slices, or half people that don't eat pizza. So there's always some leftover, and then you're like all right well you take the ones you do one slice and kind of see absolutely you do a lap you do a lap quickly you do two two is totally fine two is appropriate take one you take two and then you give it maybe eight minutes nine minutes six whatever yes just see and if and when you see the pizza disappearing

at a slow rate you're like oh we're in range for four and then you're gonna do it kind of like so it's not yeah I'm gonna okay slowly sneak it over it gets cheese and pep classic what's what you got to do with a big group and then so I have I'm on three right okay and then I noticed there's a Supreme pizza too. What's that's got all the shit on it? All the shit on it. And I don't even like that. But to me I'm like, well, no one's touched it.

I've had the other ones, I'm not gonna get another one of those. Right. But now at this point I'm like worried about Sam. Sam doesn't want all this pizza in his house. This is how I am with pussy. Yeah. I'm like, I've had a couple classics.

I never had a with pussy. Yeah. I'm like, I've had a couple of classics. I never had a male woman. Yeah. Let me see what it's all about. Sure, sure. Male woman's nice. So circle back that. They're all wearing like USPS, like a uniform. They're wearing the little blue shorts and like.

Yeah, I mean, I made it up. But it's not a real thing. I bet you could find it. Yeah, yeah. I bet you could find something like that. That was where my head went was male carriers. Okay, okay Interesting. I thought it was real. It could be real. I mean, I don't know if you can do a quick search I mean if you want to go to pornhub, I bet you could find

Yeah, her carrier Bukaki. I don't think you can find Although the fantasy of a male your male woman post office horn This is an adult website. Yeah website we can't go in looks pretty good none of this is post office by the way it's just hot women getting fucked wait go down is that the go from is that the someone's done AI of Zootopia and it's go down it's the Zootopia bunny what's a real guy's dick. A huge dick. What is Zootopia? And what is that dick?

It's a like children's... Oh no. Oh boy. Get this party. No. No, Elvis. Get out of here, dude. X out.

We're done. There has to be male woman in porn though. There is, I'm sure. I'm sure. She shows up with a bag of bills. I can't afford these. I can't pay this. Whatever. And then she's like, well, I just delivered it. It's like well. Can I fuck you anyway?

Hey, man, just my job. I'll suck your dick. I am a whore It's not gonna help you with the bills at all We should get into poor. I think it'd be fun to write porn. That's never been sure well now And I assume this must for sure exist, we watch Miss Rachel, I have a baby, so it's Miss Rachel all day. There's gotta be Miss Rachel porn. Unfortunately there definitely is.

Yeah, he's just because his pink headband, but they should have the peripheral characters. I hope not. I bet there is. But there probably is. And it's for dads. Well this is the thing, because I watch Miss Rachel all day,

not all day, but you know a half hour a day every day So you just have to come up with something so I'm like I guess I could fuck her like all the characters You're like I could be into that right. There's other characters. I'm not I don't have a child. I'm not familiar Yeah, there's other not characters, but she has like buddies around. It's all her kind of I think theater eat people Oh, okay, and her husband's on there too. That's hilarious to be, that's fun though. She's putting her friends on. She's like, all right man, that's like the equivalent of like

opening for your friends is like, all right man, you wanna play a lion in my children's YouTube series? Oh yeah, I think she's hot. Yeah, she's hot, good politics, shout out to Miss Rachel. I disagree there, but. What are you talking about? Oh, you're pro genocide? I'm pro war when it's necessary. But what are you talking about your pro your pro genocide?

I'm pro war when it's necessary Yeah, she did she did a video with a child that had amputated her arms blown off no It's like when you're on the side that thinks it's bad for a child who had its legs blown off to be happy for one afternoon, you're the bad guy. Like, no matter what it is, if you're like, hey, hey, we need more context for a child that was maimed to smile. She's like, ear to ear,

like this fucking bitch. Yeah, it's like, the happiest this baby's been for, in her entire life, But shout out to Miss Rachel. I hope they're not making too much pornography of you out there, but they probably are, unfortunately. Yeah, but it's not her. It's just people wearing pink headbands, I imagine. Yeah.

And you're talking like, blow me. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that's really fucked up, because you're right. It is dads, but it's also guys that want to be infantilized. Like I bet you there's like they change It's like a miss Rachel stand-in like time to change your stinky diaper What do we got here? There's definitely diaper guys that are into that level of thing. I mean, I guess they've I've seen like Cartoons they make porn of that feels fucked up

I guess it's just that it's a real person. Because there's definitely SpongeBob out there. Well there's Seinfeld porn, and I know that because everyone ever has sent it to me. Because I'm always talking about how hot Elaine is. And then people think like, oh dude, I got a solution. Check this out, and I'm like, but that's not Julie Dewey's righteousness. That's a lady with a pierced clit and a weird curly wig.

I can't, I'm just like a bald guy fucking her. That's not what I want and the joy I believe the George they use for that had a clearly shaved his head in a funny way that wasn't It was kind of it was like stubbly like it. Oh, that's so clear Jerry had a bad wig on that one. I've seen that one this but you know what I don't like They I believe it was called this ain't Seinfeld xxx a porn parody and they were doing that when it's like back in the day You had a little fun with it call it sex failed I mean, that's just right off the right right like my we've talked about a lot on this podcast

But my me and my brothers found a porno VHS that we assume was my father's that was called like loose times at Ridgely High Yeah, you know then there wasely High. It was a fast times, Terry. Then there was that Forrest Humps was a big one. Forrest Humps is Edward Penishands. Yeah. Like we got a name like they were doing for a while. Who's Nailin Palin was maybe the last good one, although that's not really a spin off

of intellectual property. It's more, you know, just a play off of the name. But look it up. Was it called this ain't Seinfeld xxx Probably was We try to think of some good Seinfeld ones. Yeah, there's anything I know that triple x parity I mean, you're not even fucking trying dude Yeah, I mean look Like you yeah Looks pretty hot Elaine looks out, but she also looks you know

Puerto Rican perhaps we you know Kramer's hilarious cuz he's shorter than George somehow, but he's got big-ass hair But Jerry is dead on Jerry's James Dean famously. I believe yeah, what do you mean James Dean? That's the guy's name? Go back let's look up who played Elaine in this ain't just you know just for scientific purposes you know do a little maybe get a little faster Sasha gray no I think she had a smaller part anyway whatever go down oh there was one called the poor Nazi I like that oh they're just porn from a man known as the porn Nazi wait running time 143 minutes all right that's an Oh Christina Rose apparently played a lady you know I have

nothing obviously I've beat off too many Latinas I think they're beautiful but it's like we couldn't get a Elaine Elaine had to be Latina. This is the real casting. This is the real this looks Asian to me No, she's Latino look at her eyes. All right. Well, I think you know this you can have the tears can have You know what I just did I did the thing nerds do when they like Cast a black person is like a superhero Poor Elaine getting sucky dick. I literally It's taking me out if I'm supposed to jack off to Elaine, I would definitely jack off to this woman, Christina

Rose, but you know. Look at Tracy Quinn Perez from San Diego. She's Asian. You know, folks, I'm a small business owner and when my toilets are clogged in my business, because I employ a man who eats as much as livestock and he'll often clog the toilets. If the first plumber I call doesn't pick up, I'm moving on to the next one immediately. Don't let that happen to you with your business.

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episode small ball small Ball is the special. It's out now. It's out by now. On YouTube, yeah. It's on YouTube. My fourth special. I can't wait to see it. It looks so funny. And my special, in order, they have 10 million views, 3 million views, 1 million views.

So I'm hoping to have 50,000 by the time just a nice, steady ski slope of success. I would contend that is the fault of YouTube with it used to be a great place for stand-up specials and they have completely destroyed the ecosystem with like censoring shit demonetizing shit and also too many people too many people horrific you know what they put a fucking camera on a stool and they're like, it's my special and it's like All right, man Well, the first one also was on Comedy Central's page and they have however many million followers and it was kovat Right so that helped and yeah, most people hadn't done YouTube specials at the time

Yeah, and then the last one I said cunt in it and they told me that was fine. And then they were like just kidding. Yeah And I was like, well, I would have bleeped it. Well that destroys, you know part of my livelihood Yeah, that probably paid knocks me down a couple pegs. It was a bummer. But what can you do? What can you do? Yeah, it's out. It's out. It's hilarious. Looks great. You got a thank you buddy. Oh, yeah Thank you. Don't look for it You do eldest dedicated you Is probably by now It looks great and I like the way you shot it because it was your guys yes, I saw I saw his name

Yeah, our boy. Mr. Rockefeller Derek and Willie. Yeah, Derek and Willie shout out to originator They did a great job on You know live there. No, sorry. We did live with lodging which one was it fat rascal fat ass But they're great and it looks great and you shot it in Clubs it looked awesome, Chicago. Yeah, we did Zanies downtown and Rosemont school and we cut them together But not in like a distracting way I remember that Chris Rock special which is a great special like but it was like he kept cutting within jokes to like yeah Yeah, South Africa. He was in like I think he did in three different places

Yes, and it was awesome, but it did It was like more you're watching more of an interesting like film than you are right the material Yeah, this one you don't even really notice it unless you're like really paying attention And it's like it's like Godfather 2. There's like four cuts. Yeah, it's not like I love that So I think it's good. We did a little theatrical run, which was fun, and it's the first one I've ever watched I was like it's pretty good really No, well the previous one I've ever watched. I was like, this is pretty good. Really? I laughed a couple times. You don't watch your own specials? No, well the previous one, I told the director Jason Katz, who's great,

he did my first three, but I was like, I can't watch you guys edit, and he left in all these crowd work moments. They left it, I mean, and it was my own fault. But then all the comments were like, this thing wasn't ready, it's not tight. Oh no. Well, it would be tight if we just cut out me being like fuck you. So I was like oh fuck. Like this is a sloppy piece of shit mess. I'm like no no no it's good. So this time I was like let me get in there a little bit. That's hilarious. I mean I get it. It's excruciating to watch. Oh it's awful. I want to you know blow my brains out when it's happening but it is necessary for sure. But at least I straighten my teeth

so that helps. Before that, I just wanted to really kill myself. Now I just kind of want to kill myself. Yeah. That's good, man. That's good. That's all you can hope for. But go watch it, for the love of Christ.

Go watch it. I need something in my life. The man's got a child. I got a child, a baby. A beautiful baby boy. But AI is going to kill us all anyways, right? Yeah, probably. Right? Eldest loves it. it eldest welcomes our AI overlords

I do think it's just inevitable so you really are yeah, you're just giving up, dude It's inevitable and then you know there will be artistic innovations within the constraints of AI People will use it in an interesting way. I don't think they really will I think I think they will some already It's become so homogenized and it's what's happened is the most uninteresting, uncreative people type in like, you know, like a brooding woman with large breasts or something. And they're like, look at this piece of art I made.

And it's just other people's work that a computer is copying. You're just getting a computer to plagiarize for you. I think that's what I meant mindset I think I think it's like when people when people in the 90s are like oh you can't shoot a film on a digital Camera it's a little different than that It's because you weren't stealing other people's work with every fucking digital camera you're new right now But the whole point is stealing though you think the computer isn't drawing Superman. It's taking other images of suit

Whatever it doesn't fucking doesn't matter doesn't matter. Oh, we're fucked. Yeah, but we are fun. You know jobs. Yeah. Yeah No jobs. Well people can be like it's gonna be utopia or dystopia and I'm like well based on I think we know Maybe utopia will come up that'll be good are learning Chinese folks They got bullet trains. They get halfway across the country in 20 minutes All that please eldest Scotch tape I do a really cool I do a really cool Do not give him scotch tape Elders I do a really cool thing

We don't have to get into that Just some light brownish makeup No, none of that will be necessary Just a light what? We bleep that too please We bleep that too please We bleep that too please We bleep that too please

We bleep that to leave Bukkake We bleep that to leave Bukkake Come on man We believe that believe bukkake Come on I Think what is the actual I feel like bukkake doesn't the actual meaning wasn't like getting your face, you know painted I think it's like it's some kind of original meaning. I don't know perfectly you spell bukkake right out of the gate It's like it's some kind of original meaning perfectly you spell bukkake right out of the gate It is Japanese to splash with liquid or before you didn't know was Japanese It's often used in the context of food particularly bukkake udon so you can order bukkake udon

Joe goes he's pissed. It's not a bowl of jizz with noodles in it Bukkake is also widely known as a slang term, referred to as sexual, which a group of men ejaculate onto a person, typically a woman. What? Or even onto food. Oh wow, now we're talking. Anyway, okay, so it just means splash, I gotcha. But it's taken over.

It's taken, you know, splash videos. But anyway, Joey, what's going on with you, man? How's it been? What's been a little while? How's the boy? How's the boy? How's the wife? He's great wife is great. She was just away for five days She went to the veil comedy festival Oh nice, and she booked her flights all wacky they asked she was leaving Friday And they asked her to book an earlier flight, and they met like earlier in the morning So she booked Thursday, but she got there, and she's like nobody's here. So she just left an extra day. So she was gone for five days and so it was just me and the boy and I gotta tell you life-changing experience.

I need to quit everything because it was the happiest time of my life not because my wife was gone. Right. Didn't hurt. Not because my wife was gone and not because I was with my son. I cleared my schedule. Right. I had five days of no horseshit podcast. No respect. No offense. No spots. I just raised a child for like 12 hours and then put him down and watched hockey. Yeah. A little bit of basketball. Yeah. And I was like this is good. Yeah. This is a nice life. So that's what I've been up to and now I'm like I got to quit all my podcasts, but I make probably Dr. Money making them. Yeah, I gotta keep oh no no not your pie It's just stop doing with the exception of Stavis world. Yeah, I'm doing other podcasts probably but even your own pocket

You gotta do one a week plus a patreon and I have the regs. Yeah, it's a lot of work one a week plus a patreon and I have the regs. Yeah, it's a lot of work folks. Oh, fuck it. Our lives are tough. Sure, you're climbing up a ladder and knocking, you know, hammering your thumb and there's bees on you. Yeah. But I gotta talk about cum and bukkake

for like 90 minutes a week, every week. But that is, do you just feel like, the fact that it was, the fact that you did have a, you were with your son though, probably is what also makes it meaningful, right? Or no? No, it's very rewarding and you really connect. I mean, it was just beautiful.

We were making eye contact and he's starting to learn all these words. It's really sweet and he laughs and then you have connection. And now he's old enough to play on his own So like he'll be playing you just sit and watch it's very better than my blocks. What's he working with? He's got blocks He stacks he plays trucks trains the whole thing we can and we can have a pass now. We kind of bounce the ball Oh, that's awesome. It's like the field of dreams catch. Yeah, it bounces it rolls over whatever you hit him in the head

It rolls back to you. Yeah, and you take him to the park and we went on the ferry we took a ride to Astoria to go to the dentist which was fun and it was awesome yeah it was beautiful what does he have any obsessions is it trucks we have a friend who heard her son loves sea creatures out of nowhere oh no one in the family ever cared about sea creatures and it's not he saw finding Nemo once yeah and he locked in and now he like knows the he knows more sea creatures in he knows them in Greek and English. Wow and it's like he's just he's so locked into sea creatures it's awesome. I'm the same way I love clam. There's your clip.

There's your clip, folks. That one's straight to the top. Take eight minutes off. We got it, baby. We got the viral clip. No, yes. He loves wheels. He's obsessed with wheels and the boat,

because we live next to the ferry terminal. So it's all about, and he wants to get on every boat, and he goes, he goes, boop, boop, boop, and does this. Oh, he likes that, yeah. And every wheel. He stops and touches every wheel. to the ferry terminal. So it's all about he wants to get on every boat and he goes he goes and every every wheel he stops and touches every wheel and then I had a family friend in town she was like that's the sign of autism. I'm like an 18 month old boy that likes wheels. I'm like I think he what is going on and then you look up the the fucking uh what do you call it symptoms of autism in an 18 month old and I'm like this kid could not be less He's like he talks he makes eye contact. He's got you know, he's fine. Of course there is I mean

I think we talked about the last time you were here actually where there is something Autism has just got basically It's basically turned into You could just say the you could just drop an R bomb. You're not supposed to say, you know, R it anymore. And I think in that vacuum, autism has just slipped in. Because you can say autistic, like,

oh, it's a little, it's just, it's just that. I think that's really what it is. And now everybody talks about it, everybody says they're a little bit of it, you know what I mean? Like, it is a little, it's gotten to the point where as a punchline. It's hack. I think yes Yeah as a life Thing it's happy even bring that up to be like he's autistic. It's like no he's fun. You don't know shit lady, right?

dumb bitch whoever you are. Yeah, take that you whore But autism yeah has like a lot of symptoms of OCD are very similar because I read the symptoms of autism I'm like, oh, I have a bunch of these but that's anxiety and OCD Yeah, like I got to find to take my tea bags out after three minutes I fucking start smacking my head and it's better the people Start screeching if the jasmine is too strong. So yeah, it was three start screeching if the Jasmine is too strong. So, yeah. Anyways.

Is it three minutes? You do have it down. I know you like to steep your tea. It's supposed to be three minutes with a bag, but they put two bags in. So I go about 90 seconds, two minutes. Yeah. Love that. Give a tea bag to somebody.

With my actual nuts? Yeah. I mean, I've gotten my nuts sucked, but I've never been like, you know, the way like Halo where you kind of, do you ever do that and you know you're playing it? That was a fun thing to do in halo you would kill someone and then you would crouch But it looked like you were putting your nuts in his mouth I haven't played video games since 1992, but I might What is it PlayStation 3 or something that it was an Xbox Xbox is a big game

It kept them afloat. I feel like are they still alive. I Think PlayStation 5 is eating their lunch. I think they sure I think the Nintendo switch and tweets Xbox makes the host of the game shit. Okay, so they're kind of around I don't think they really like what's the newest Xbox even fucking called I think I think the switch in the PlayStation pretty much fucked their asses, but Who you know and they're Microsoft newest the Xbox series X

I don't know Colin if you're a dork and you think the Xbox is still cool. You let us know But yeah, we were we were briefly an Xbox family us know. But yeah, we were briefly an Xbox family. We were Nintendo growing up, so I got a GameCube when I was like, I don't know. That was the best Christmas of my life. Me and my brothers, everybody loved each other, my family, for about like eight days. That Christmas where we got that GameCube. It was literally the closest I've ever felt to my fan. It was exactly what I wanted. It was truly the best eight days of my childhood, is like right that Christmas when, I mean my brothers were playing together,

we were playing Star Fox, it's collaborative. We were doing a Madden franchise together. It was beautiful. That lasted about eight days, and then slowly diminishing returns from that. But then we moved on to Xbox, and now I'm back to play state You know

PlayStation in Greece my cousin played it we were playing FIFA there So we've kind of jumped around console wise, but you know you were never big like no I went I went Nintendo and then Sega Genesis was my last thing I was big tech mobile and then Sonic and then after that I just kind of became a man. I got my first smell of pussy and I said goodbye forever. Having stopped sniffing the pooch. I think it was maybe more your first smell of whiskey. If I know you, I know you a little.

Whiskey, pussy, all the same. Oh, folks, summertime, baby. You know what that means? Float in a pool, drink a delicious beverage, maybe something, I don't know, delicious. Maybe something brewed with real iced tea. Maybe something that's a crisp 5% alcohol per volume. Huh? I think you know what I'm talking about.

I think you know what I'm talking about. Twisted motherfucking tea. That's right, you're gonna want to keep it twisted. I know who listens to this show. They're freaking fun hunters. Are you hunting fun out there? Maybe you're hunting a little something else. Maybe it rhymes with hunt too.

We won't go into all that will we Elders? This is a paid advertisement after all. But either way, no matter what you're up to this summer, We won't go into all that will we elders this is a paid advertisement after all No matter what What you're gonna want to do is sip on a mother freaking twisted tea You know we're sucking them down all summer here at Stavis world Stavibaby enterprises Kickback relax chill what I want you to do, grab a refreshing, twisted tea today and remember, keep it twisted. Now speaking of Xbox, here's what's really been going on.

You want to hear a crazy story. You want me to give you a nice. Give me something juicy. Something nice, something whatever, spicy, sexy, hot. Yes. So speaking of Xbox, I'm in Cleveland. I like to do yoga on the road. You know me, I'm a yoga guy.

And I book a class Friday morning. I'm working hilarities. I go do yoga at this yoga studio. 7.30 in the morning. It's a hot. 7.30, wow. Well, I wake up early now. Because the baby, I go to bed early.

I wake up early. But still, you're doing spa. That's hard for me to go to sleep on the road, because you're just amped from the late show. Well, this get I wake up early. Yeah, baby. I go to bed early. I wake up. You're doing spa I mean that's it's hard for me to go to sleep on the road because you're just amped from the late show Well, this is the thing. I'm never I don't have those kind of shows My late shows are a little sleepy I'm sure my late show. It's all the waitresses come in with coats. It was nice to meet you I should stop making jokes like this because everyone takes everything serious.

I see people who are like, Joe's broke, that's why he's failing. And I'm always like, I'm doing better than 99% of comedians that have ever done comedy. It's like three comics doing better than me and they're my best friends. I make a lot of money, I'm very successful. One of the best friends. Yeah. I make a lot of money, I'm very successful. Joe's doing great, one of the best in the biz.

Six, seven women on each coast. But anyways, so I get up early, I do yoga, and then the next day I was like, what should I do tomorrow? I try to make commitments. Like I read the book Atomic Habits, you ever read that book? It's a hell of a book.

I'm gonna check it out. I didn't read it, I listened to it, but it's awesome It's great But it was one of the things about it is you got to commit to something before so you pay for the class Before you go because you'll be less likely to can't like if you just go I'm gonna do yoga on Friday Yeah, but if you sign up and pay you're like I got a receipt. I'm here. I gotta go. Uh-huh So I did that again. I was like, I'm gonna do yoga the next day, Saturday morning, 7.30 a.m. I'm going.

Wake up. I didn't wanna go, but I was like, fuck it. You signed up, let's go. Atomic habits, baby. You're getting your life together. I run over there. I open the door. My ex-girlfriend that I lived together 17 years ago.

What? In Cleveland? In Cleveland. She's from Denver. What the fuck? Moved to San Diego Diego got married in San Diego I haven't talked to her in seven and a half years having seen her spoken her no contact whatsoever Oh my husband's a doctor. He's like a

So he works Holy shit, I shouldn't give out too much information. Yeah, we'll bleep about where He I just she moved to Cleveland. I opened the door, it's like clang, and I look up. It was like a fucking movie. Oh my God. I started shaking. I was like, what the fuck? And she knew I was coming,

because when I signed up, they get an email, like Joseph List, Joe List comedy. Wait, she's a teacher? She's the yoga instructor. So it was like seven minutes for class. Oh my, so you're looking, it's not even like she's in the corner, you can ignore her. No, no.

And so we had to like catch up after eight years, and then I just go into for class. Oh my, so you're looking, it's not even like she's in the corner, you can ignore her. And so we had to like catch up after eight years and then I just go into her class, she has the little fucking thing. She's like, okay class, and I'm like. How many people in the class? Like six. Oh my god. It was like five of the hottest women I've ever seen. And your ex-

And then my ex. It was also attractive, but it was just the most insane experience of my life. To be doing that at seven in the morning too. It was mind blowing, jarring, the craziest thing. And at this point I was just like, oh, we didn't have like a bad, we remained friends for a while. And then it wasn't like we were like, I'm never talking to you again, you piece of shit. It just kind of you fall off. You're both married.

And how about this? We had kids three days apart. Wow. She's like, she didn't know I was a father. She's like, you're a dad. That's crazy this, we had kids three days apart. Wow. She's like, she didn't know I was a father, she's like, you're a dad, that's crazy. I'm like, yeah, he's a year and a half. She's like, I have a one and a half year old. What's his birthday? We do the birthdays three days apart.

That's nuts. We had children at the same time. Wow. And yeah, it was fucking wild. So now we talk all day every day. Yeah, you reconnected. That's great. You're on signal, the one you can't track.

Well, Sarah, my wife, who you know, a dear friend. Of course. Dear friend of yours, or dear wife of mine. Yeah. My wife, she's one of my greats. She's a really dear friend. Good buddy. Well, she was like, it's like the universe wants you to fuck.

I'm like, maybe the universe wants us to reconnect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be friends. Because I ran into my ex., you know, maybe we should The big Latino guy Yeah, it was fucking it was wild I mean I was like and then like I said you have to like get into like, alright We're doing yoga and I have to clear my mode and like be in a meditative state where all you're thinking about is this person fucking crazy

But it's nice catching up with someone you haven't seen in a while. Yeah, how you been? I'm like well. I live in Battery Park City, bitch My balcony your whore remember the drunk guy that shit in your shoes is this that person no that wasn't it That was a random No, this was this was like we live together the whole thing will get married someday it was a real serious I went to Peru. I don't know that show about I remember this. Yeah. Yeah, damn Not she called me ugly. She kind of apologized for that. That was nice. Yeah kind of She said I'm so sorry. Okay, so she but it wasn't like it wasn't like a sit-down like I want to tell you

I'm sorry. It was like remember you said that and she was like, oh my god. I'm so sorry, okay, so she but it wasn't like it wasn't like a sit-down like I want to tell you I'm sorry. It was like remember you said that she was like oh my god. I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I Didn't mean it This is what she said cuz I had a horrible overbite and crooked teeth She's like you're gonna get surgery at the time. I made like 11 grand a year surgery. That's nice I was like reconstructed you want me to break my jaw in nine places and not 11 grand a year. Surgery? That's what I said, I was like, reconstructed surgery. You want me to break my jaw in nine places and not talk for a year?

This is my girlfriend and I was like, I don't think so, I was like, surgery? Oh, it's worse. So then I'm like, I don't think so. And then she literally said, this is a quote, she goes, so you're just gonna like, look like that forever? Oh my God.

I told Alan, my therapist, and he was like, you can't talk to this woman ever again. He's like, this is horrible. Then there was another one, I told Alan, my therapist, and he was like, you can't talk to this woman ever again. He's like, this is horrible. Then there was another one. I've told, I tried to do this a bit, but it never worked. I one time, when we first started dating, we were like, I might probably tell you this story. We were madly in love.

And so she left her like Gmail up, we lived together. And so I searched my name thinking it's gonna be just me being like, he's the best. And it was a conversation with her friend. It was a G-Chat. It was a G-Chat. It was a G-Chat. And it was like... And I found what I wanted to find. She's like, he's amazing, he's hilarious. I'm, like, in love with him.

I literally think he's the one. And then she's like, he's not attractive. But I just think he's so sweet and funny. And so I just had to read her behind my back. Oh, literally just be like, he's ugly. He is. Now look, I close my eyes to not, I can't really look at him. I kind of do this thing.

I kind of cross my eyes. I kind of do the thing where you're doing an eye spy and you try and look at the magic eye thing. Like I do that to not focus on his features It was horrible. It was so hard. That's tough too because it's like that is that's the truth That's right been her and her best friends who are actually doing because we've all done that where you're like I like this thing I like this thing I Hate this thing, but I love her and it's and even though it's in the context of he's the one, I love him, whatever, devastating. It was devastating.

If your girl doesn't think you're hot, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Well, we have another one later too, where we were hanging out with some friends and I'm sorry to keep making this worse, but yeah, they even say he's like, he's like, you know, maybe he's not conventional, but I just find them so attractive. She didn't say like, I don't even get it. Like I've had women thinking they're being like nice to me be like, I don't know why, but I find you attractive.

You know what I mean? We're just like, all right, I know what you mean. And that is the way you can find me attractive because you can't just be like, well, that's what I like. But she didn't even say that. She just said, I'm not attractive. He's ugly, but I like it. I'm gonna give it a try

I like everything else about him, but man But the note that we were hanging out and she was like they're talking about what's your type and she was like Well, I like, you know, I'm from Denver. I like a like a kind of an outdoorsy guy. I like long hair Big bill like she described a thing. I'm like wait what? Can you at least? fake it? Come up with, like just for my benefit, I'm sitting here. Say I don't really have a type, I'm, you know what I mean,

do something, but like. Tall, I'm like a real tall guy. Tall, that's it. Even if he's flankey, I still like height. Funny, I like a funny tall guy. Funny tall guy, something fucked up about his jaw and his face. Herpes, yeah. Like his front teeth to be a few inches

in front of his bottom teeth but anyways now I have a beard and I straighten my teeth the bears nice now it's like yeah and I think kid is big too that makes you look like a real man for sure absolutely so every day I send her a photo of me and my boy No good I Love that dude. Yeah, that is really funny cuz I mean to be smacked in the face with that it was crap I mean, it's like if you went to Indianapolis and saw your girlfriend. Yeah, it's fucking crazy it was seriously the most insane thing and like she's like kind of like Denver kind of came from money and was in the cool like and was a world traveler like she left me she went to Argentina I visited her in Peru once so I thought she would have lived in fucking in Paris before she lived in Cleveland

Yeah, which is another nice thing when you see an X and you're living in battery park city living in Cleveland Yeah, I win this round. Yeah, what and remind me? What was the job that you compared your salary to to say it was good? A doctor? Oh, what is her husband's name? A doctor. A doctor working fucking 700 hours a week. Coming home exhausted. She never sees him. Doesn't help with the kids. I'm with my son all day every day. Except when I'm doing labor here. Except for right now right now yeah this is work yeah and then you know maybe we'll hang out for a couple hours after you know I do love

I do love the cover doing podcast gives like friends with families like I've had people are like you know sometimes I feel bad because we do kind of record for a while yeah you know it's not like your typical hour an hour in and out whatever and then for some people feel really bad them for other people are like, okay, okay But sometimes you can go longer too, like you can tell who hates their family. Yeah, they're like no I'm hanging dude It's all good Patreon dude, who cares? I can't wait to get home. I love my son. It is fun. Yeah. Yeah, whatever name Her name's Cleveland I love my son. It is fun. Yeah, yeah Whatever her name is

Her name's Cleveland What do you get the man who's got it all or says he doesn't need anything This Father's Day skip the ties and get your dad something he'll actually love an aura digital frame My pops yes, but I'll be honest it's been a while since I got him anything This is the first year. This is the first year that my dad's been actually in my life for like a decade And it's the perfect year honestly. I'm actually pumped. I got ten years of pictures to fill in or frame with world speaking terms again i'm excited to get gift him i literally am going to get a middle for him for

father's day that's the truth is in the in the ad folks i'm excited to give him one picture me and eldest across america on tour my father's no idea what my life is like. I'll probably fill it up as Elders will be filling it up if we're being honest Find 40 nice pictures, I don't fucking care That's the beauty or a frame man. That's it. What a great gift. It is you fill it up with memories You give it to your dad He's gonna love it not only he's gonna love it

But or has got a great deal for Father's Day for a limited time dad he's gonna love it. Not only is he gonna love it but Aura's got a great deal for Father's Day. For a limited time listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $30 off on their best-selling Carver Mat Frame. That's AuraFrames.com promo code STAVI. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Uh, but it is beautiful though. I mean I am in the, you do see a lot of my friends are in the, you know, having kids zone where, like at first it was people I knew of obviously, like

you know, outside, social not the inner circle. Now it's like really my best friends are all kind of in that zone. And it is beautiful, you know, my brother had a kid, we got, we got a little we got the nephew of the podcast who's there so cute he came to the he came to the DC show he's there with his little like little ear muffs at a balcony like we know watching it was it was really cute and it was yeah we brought

him on the bus he's a little they just a little track suit for me. It was so fucking cute. And you do see like the, and even though it is probably, you know, just the animal thing that you're supposed to do, you see a little baby that you're related to or you love their parents or whatever and you're like I would literally like kill and die for this little lump of like, you know, this little lump. And there is something just like, oh oh yeah because I've had days where I have nothing to do and I'm like shouldn't I do something right you realize like oh yeah that's for having children yeah I mean like that's what that like you figured everything out you have some time in the day it's for that you know what I mean yeah no it's

wonderful it's the best I can't I mean thinking about makes me just want to go home like this is stupid. What am I doing? Yeah, yeah, think about selling my specials. Yeah, yeah, that's right Right after we talk about seeing my ex we have a weird fucking cut. It's gonna look so So I saw my ex it was great to see her but yeah, I think the capital of Florida is Sarasota if I'm not mistaken No, I know it is it is fun I'm excited and just think about him being like you think about like Actually turning into a person and a guy you can hang out with but this is what scares me

I just feel like the war I'm worried the world is gonna be fucked so hard It will be like a I won't even understand how to teach him life. Oh, dude. Like, he's gonna go to school and be like, I'm thinking of like, chalk and it's gonna be robots. There's no chalk. There's no chalk. It's gonna be a robot fucking lady shooting us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Well, if it's a robot, if there's robot teachers, you don't have to worry about, you know, sexual indiscretions, that's good. I guess you're right. There's some robot priests. That's this have to worry about, you know, sexual indiscretions. That's good. I guess there's some robot priests That's this feature. They stop they stop fucking maybe you know, we're back in but AI the bill a lot of good stuff, too

They'll solve cancer. Oh Usually climate change. Oh, definitely right business won't continue to profit off of suffering. That's what happens when a new technology They use it for good No, but that they'll make money off of that. I don't think so, man. I'm just, I'm very skeptical, and at least, I don't, you know, it just, again, seems like it's mostly stealing. Like, whatever AI, it just feels like a search engine, or it's stealing. To me, again, I don't know shit, obviously. Some of it is like shortcuts, like, you know, whatever, but we don't fucking know what we're talking about. I just have no... I don't know why you said, but we don't fucking know we're talking about

I just have no I don't know I said we you don't know you have no idea. I know oh yeah. Oh, dude I know it doesn't help that everything I think of with machines is like well the Terminator of course it's like it's so easy to say we're in Skynet and I don't necessarily disagree I guess I think we are also giving it too much credit I actually don't think it's that cutting-edge is really where I come down on but it's it's growing exponentially It's smart. I guess I mean Elvis is gonna be the first one out of a job. Yeah Oh, no, that's the good thing is that I will be able to replace Elders for a fraction. The robots will always need a competent human to oversee the output.

They're nothing without the human behind them. It's all going to be run by Elders. It's going to be all like barely competent middle managers that are going to thrive under AI. We could use a few more Elders out there. I think so. There we go. I think that's what I'm saying. For the Bukkake, I mean.

Think of all those Bukaki videos. I think that robot, that's clip number two. I'm thinking. I got some big ones. Small ball baby. Small ball. YouTube. Check it out. Yeah, I don't know. Are we, should we help the people, Eldiz? You are you are we ready to really take some calls really help? We've got a wise father who just do nearly who just barely dodged you know cheating with an axe. That's what I'm out These people believe the shit Every fucking day I was just talking with us Iran on I think I'm the most misunderstood because I'm very deadpan Yeah, yeah, yeah everything I say people are like this guy fucking hates black people. He's afraid of cats That is true. They think you and Bobby both are racist

We gotta get you and Bobby back on Christmas this time we had no we're not actually Maybe you move we should just smoke cigars in here one last time But let's just let's take precautions get a fan and open the window I can make this go in our smoke We'll put a little bit of we uh every time we exhale we do it into eldest's mouth My dick's getting hard minds remaining My dick's getting hard Hit us with some questions big L's

Can't hear shit Hell boy see we need AI He is about Hey, hey Stav, hey, Eldiz, hope you guys are doing well. I have a question not for me, but for a friend. Oh, sure, classic. So, he is about to have a baby with his wife and we've always talked about having good looking girls

and we know she's about to have some fake tendencies and Stav and baby, we know you're a thick sexy motherfucker but we don't know about having that for the girls so what's your advice having a thick girl come into this life she has some thick girl tendencies she's already getting those those arms those elbows and those legs like she was getting girls so how do I coach my boy through this pregnancy and make sure he stays around after she gets birthed what is this fucking question? I appreciate any and all his life. I know you don't have a kid but I know you have friends that have a kid.

fat people elbows I was just saying my wife is getting fat from having my child. how do I stick around? his friend's wife. Still. Can I say, I have a, like, I was joking with all the Bacacca in the business, I have like a pregnant, my wife, when she was pregnant,

I was so into her, and I have a doctor that's like pregnant right now, she's hot anyways, but I'm like, I like it, it's sexy, and if she's not fat before, she probably won't remain fat, and it's like cheating. You're like, I have a fat girlfriend for like four months. You got a fatso. It's a fucking beautiful gift.

I'm gonna have another kid just so I can have a fat titted wife for like five months. It's like the best thing ever. You have a different body. I like that idea. Yeah, that's a nice way to look at it. You know, I would say take that approach with Joe saying what you're saying is just like he's like Well, if my wife gets too fat having my child, I don't want to stick around That's the best lie. Yeah, how I gotta keep him sticking around after he has a baby or even he's saying like, you know

We've always talked about having good-looking girls. It's like what's more important your boy like that's that's the other thing that's so funny is like wanting credit from your boy forgetting pussy that's such like 20 year old mentality right like well what's important is I show my friends who I fucked and they think it's cool, right? You know Enjoying the person loving the person that I'm with and having a child with them, so I Like Joe's approach. I didn't like I honestly did not care for his tone if I'm being honest here And the holds for my friend stuff, and we've always talked about it sounds like he wants to fuck his friend also She's already getting those elbows. Yeah

I've never heard a man refer to woman's elbows ever once in my entire life for any reason. Yeah. Also I feel like that's the place you can't gain weight. Yeah, that's a bone. If he's talking, I mean maybe he's talking about like lunch lady arms. Oh, that's tough. I will admit that is a tough look. That's one thing I praise God that he made me the type of fat guy that does not have those arms saggy elbows saggy Yeah, like when it's coming down here. That's a tough look, but you know If we're all we're talking about is somebody gaining a little weight relax exactly. It's like cheating That's a good way to look at that's a good way to get through to a misogynist about this It's like fucking a different bitch, dude

It's awesome. I love I loved it. You know I definitely have taken some strolls through the pregnancy part of Xvideos.com Not too much but like when the tits get huge and you just And they're veiny? I love a veiny blue

veined tit. But then you start thinking like damn dude what's going on in her life? She has to do porn while pregnant Yeah, that's not part that feels like the kid feels slightly traumatizing. Yeah child the child's in the womb Basically, there's a child, you know If it's late enough in the game when you see the real crazy ones It's like well that basically and I'm not I'm definitely a guy that's pretty you know pretty it's really not a kid until pretty close to it coming out but it's tough to just be like you were in there I was nine months pregnant and

just getting nutted in. I had a big black cock. Who knows what color it was. The one I watched was black cock. what color was. The one I watched was black. Joe's Bukaki black pregnant porn. So you're pro-choice? Yes I am. Wow. Alright another topic we can't talk about. Put it on the Joe List problem or whatever. You know, Joe List is a fascist supercut. Let's do that. Let's just completely misrepresent Joe. You think you know what the clips are, pal. We got a supercut coming. Folks, we love Magic Spoon here at Stavi's World.

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look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or in your nearest grocery store. That's magicspoon.com slash stavi for $5 off. All right, what else we got LD? Hi Stav, Eldis and team guest. Thank you. I have a friend group. It's me and three other guys so four of us total We're all pretty good dudes. There's just one guy. We all know each other from college There's one guy who is an alcoholic Pretty bad the first time my fiance met him he drank and it's not exaggeration

So he counted he drank like 32 beers in like four hours granted he's like six, eight, so it's not the same. But every time I see him get black-eyed drunk, it's the whole thing. So I'm getting married next August, and I want to make this group of friends my groomsmen. And my fiance, like I said, the first time she met him, he was black-eyed drunk.

He drank over like a hundred and something dollars worth of her liquor that she was having for New Year's. It was a whole fight. I have some insight into this. He was like passed out on our couch and left the next morning at 5 a.m. still drunk. Driving is not good. But anyway, she didn't want me to invite him.

And so I told him, I said, hey, you need to figure your shit out to be invited. I'm coming to meet groups and yet I want to but you need to figure your shit out or else you're not invited to the wedding. And for a couple months you zoom good. But then one day he goes missing to the point where he's not answering calls or texts. I do call the missing person report up in a couple states away. Then he just shows back up out of nowhere and pretends like nothing happened, refuses to address it.

And now he's posting pictures in our group chat of him drinking 40s and stuff on a Wednesday afternoon. So question is really, how do I make the other two friends groomsman in the friend group exclude this guy and not be an asshole when I say, hey, you can't come to the wedding we don't want you blackout drunk being annoying and ruining the day

and whatnot yeah so I got thank you interesting I had this exact situation really yeah what happened well it's one of the funniest stories so I had a guy a friend he wasn't a groomsman but I didn didn't have groomsmen, but I just had a best mate you were there I was there but anyways he I had a friend that was a big drunk like me and that I got sober and he kept drinking and All my friends that he lived in Boston all my friends kept warning me like hey this guy is like fucking really out of control right now He got thrown out of a minor league baseball game

by the umpire. The umpire? You're out. I swear to God. I mean, is that not the fucking craziest thing? Like the actual with the mask umpire was like, you, you're good. Want me to run you?

Get out looking up is insane. Yeah, so anyway, so, and then he hit my other friend. And so I talked to Sarah, my therapist, and I was like, I think Sarah, it was like, whatever, it's your call. Yeah. But I sent him a long, I don't know if this is helpful, but I sent him a long message and just wrote like, I can't invite you to the wedding. I'm hearing these stories.

I just don't want you to fuck. You're a mess. You're a blackout. And then I was, it was really one of the hardest things I've done course Yeah to tell this like close friend. I was one of his groomsmen to tell this person I can't have you at my wedding your liability whatever and then I thought it was kind of like, okay I took care of that and then he wrote back like the most beautiful thoughtful email. It was like I love you

I need this. I would never be a problem at your wedding I promise I won't drink just let me be part of whatever and it was a beautifully written thoughtful message So I brought up to my therapist and to Sarah and she's like it's totally your call And I decided to give them the go-ahead be like you can you can come because that meant a lot of course Response here's the punchline He's sitting in the back Sarah My wife is walking up the aisle with her dad and I look back and just out of a corner my I see him next there he goes he did the pussy which is so fucking funny and because he didn't drink he left early he came he didn't make a scene, but he still could not do the like, EATER BOX! I mean imagine that guy with even four beers in him at your wedding.

I mean it's fucking hilarious. Doing the pussy eating maneuver when she's walking down the aisle. Like next to her, like the image is my wife, her dad, and my friend eating pussy. It's just too good. And he was sober? Dead sober. But anyways. That's kind of, that is kind of nicer that he then he said you this awful and he actually held his you know

He was great, and he danced on the dance floor. He threw his knee up in the dance floor but So anyways yeah I think you gotta tell this guy and it's your wife is number one on the day of the wedding absolutely I would give her the option. What do you what do you think I should do? What should I do you want him here or not? And I think if your wife says, I don't want this fucking guy at my wedding,

you gotta say no. Absolutely, yeah. And look, we hear it in his voice, right? This is brutal. And what you were feeling when you were sending him that message is horrible, because it's like, you're one of my best friends, of course I want you there.

And it's not even really his fault, it's obviously his addiction. So that's not even really his fault. It's obviously his like, you know his addiction So that's what's really sad about it Is it like it's not even really him right like especially you as a sober person you understand that that it's like if he took Scared if he took care of his shit He could be there and and there is definitely a version of our caller here There's a version of his friend that if he's you know, hopefully someday he gets sober Hopefully this is something, you know, he can look back on the fucked up shit. You know the dumb shit he used to do

but If the claim his question is how do I get the friends to exclude him? I mean Your if your other friends Don't understand why your wife doesn't want this guy at your wedding, they're fucking idiots too. You know what I mean? Like that's part of it. It's like, if this was, you know, luckily we don't have anybody like this in our close friends or whatever else,

but like, if there was a guy that you, that was like, that a significant other very fairly had a reason to not want at your wedding, and it was like one of our best friends. I wouldn't be like, come on dude, your wife's being a bitch. You know what I mean? That's insane. So I'm sorry that you have to go through this but I think you've kinda,

he already did the conversation you said. He already said I can't have you there. If anything maybe our friend kind of tried a little too early, right? Like he kind of tried to get him to fix his whole life and it's like, maybe you should have just kept your powder dry and been like, you can't come unless you're sober for the wedding.

And the second you see him drink, you know, you gotta toss him, but then again, this guy's fucking six, eight, and you don't want to have that whole you don't want that hanging over Yeah, I want to be thinking about that during your wedding See, I thought he hasn't asked him doesn't he say need to figure out or else you're not invited Oh, he said you got to figure it out or you're not invited So he said that and the guy was trying and then he right right then he got the 40s wagon

Yeah, and now he's basically okay, so he's used up his chances How do I break it to my friends and it's like dude you told they know about this If they don't think this is right, you know what I mean? If they don't understand where you're coming from they're being fucking idiots And I think all you do is you have the conversation you let them know you see you know you like hey I just can't have him like it's just a fucking liability. I don't want him ruining my wedding and it's really sad, but he just can't come and They'll probably be bummed, but if they don't understand it

Then you can go from there because I think what probably is gonna happen is you have this conversation You're dreading it because it's a hard conversation to have with your if a friend group has one guy that you've been friends with since You were kids, and he's not at your wedding that feels bad for everyone but You're worried about something that hasn't happened yet, right? Like you're worried that they're gonna have this conversation then be like dude. You're a fucking asshole How could you like not bring drunk ed to your fucking wedding? Don't worry about that yet. We're not there yet This is classic like anxiety and worrying about something that hasn't happened yet

So one step at a time if they then act like dickheads you could be like well listen, man That's just how it is. I want you to be my groomsmen And if they've argued with you about it, then it's like you you worry about then you cross that bridge when you get to it Right and you put it on the guy like you're care about him. Yeah, want you to get help. We're worried about you. Go to rehab you fucking whatever Put it on him. Yeah, and it is his that is something he has to do. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way around it So yeah, whatever but what is your beers in four hours? That's pretty cool. He does sound cool I will say that this is a guy that was awesome when he was 20 Yeah, you know what? I like the cut of his gym. Yeah. Yeah

That sounds like college level also just like how specific that number is to you could like see yourself telling a story like that When you're like 20, I'm telling you he drank 35 and a half beers. I mean, that's eight beers an hour Yeah, I could have done that. He's a big guy. Yeah. Yeah, you probably could have You probably could have psych pussy you're a lightweight Hit us with another Hi eldest, I am calling with a particularly odd Hit us with another. Hey Bob, hi Eldest. I am calling with a particularly odd dilemma. So my boyfriend and I live together in a house where our two other roommates, they're separate,

they're not together as a couple but they are both gay. My landlord who is one of the roommates have cameras all over the house, mainly outside, but there are a couple inside and like I think one in his room and one in the common area. Anyway, my boyfriend and I are pretty physical, sexually, and he likes to try and get down with the get down outside when we're sitting around the fireplace or just enjoying a drink, whatever. I'm uncomfortable because there's cameras everywhere. I know that he's not gonna watch this and get off to it. I know that that's not the point. But I don't know, the cameras make me super uncomfortable. They were here when I moved in. I've only lived here about a month I'm sorry. I'm rambling

Don't be how the fuck do I get over? this I mean, I don't want to go up to the man and be like Take your cameras down. But also and you might be thinking well why not just fucking your bedroom I mean we do but I feel bad turning my guy down all the time over this Jesus Christ years that I I don't even know if the peas anyway blah blah blah love you guys thank you we film fuck you know beef you don't want to fuck in an area where it's being there's security cameras

I mean, this is insane dude yours that what a I mean I respect what a people pleaser I hear this and it's like you know how this woman's like bending over backwards, and she sounds like a cool girlfriend Yeah, yeah, or the guy sounds like a very guy who's good at guilting someone, but imagine Imagine like okay if you and your boyfriend were sitting around a fireplace and in the corner of the yard your landlord was sitting there reading a newspaper and he's not really paying attention, he's reading the newspaper, whatever, would you want to suck his dick then? No, it would be weird. That's essentially what the security camera is.

The camera in a common area is also psychotic in general Yeah, I mean that there's the two issues here are hey We don't want now. I don't know what exactly the camera is like is it is it like Is it that is that your private space? Like when you rented that place with like private backyard because if that's the case you could say I don't really want a camera here I feel like it's not private. I just don't like the idea cuz like let's say somebody fucking breaks into your house Yeah, it could be a black neighborhood. Yeah, I Suppose it could be a white neighborhood. It could be an Asian a you know break. Yes happen everywhere

Don't clip break ins happen everywhere Don't clip break ins happen everywhere, you know clip Let's say Like yeah, nothing happens right now, right? But and then the fucking cops come or even your landlord and they scroll through eight times You're getting you're sucking your boyfriend's dick to find the culprit or whatever You know it like you're not in the wrong here at all to feel uncomfortable and your question being how do I get past my pretty reasonable boundary yes and suck my boyfriend's dick on camera on like even though no one's gonna watch it and my gay landlord is not gonna jack off to it

you don't want to do it and you shouldn't feel bad for not wanting to do it now as a tenant if you're like, this feels like a little bit of a, you know, too, you have cameras too much in my, this doesn't feel private, I don't like this here. That's something you can talk to your landlord about, but those are the two issues you can talk about, not how do I get over this to make my boyfriend happy. Can I also add, first of all, just because the guy's gay doesn't mean he's not gonna watch you guys fuck it Yeah, yeah, like if I had surveillance camera and two men just were railing each other I would take a look for a second. I was interesting also. This is just a side note

What kind of people I've never heard of someone with roommates having a fireplace I? Think it's a fire pit, right? It's an outdoor fireplace There's cameras outside. There's also two cameras inside one in the common area one in the Landlords of bedroom outside. We're sitting around the fireplace. Okay, that makes a little more sense I'm just picturing a home with a fireplace. You don't have roommates roommates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who can afford a fireplace but needs roommates? Well, you know, you never know. Hard times, I guess. Sometimes you get a nice place

and the only way you can afford it is because there's fucking five of you in there. Right. Like you used to be. Yeah, exactly, it's this apartment. Even without cameras, it's ballsy to have two roommates and try to fuck your girlfriend in the backyard where anyone could just walk in at any time.

Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, you're not wrong. You have a thing like you have something that makes you uncomfortable. And that's OK. You know what I mean? Like some people are into like exhibitionist stuff, right? Like I've been out with girls who like like flashing their tits in a restaurant. And like it's kind of hot. They're like, oh, maybe we get caught.

But it's like and then I've tried to one time I tried to fuck outdoors and I couldn't do it because it was like people were walking by It felt like I kept losing my my heart on cuz I was like, huh? Yeah, someone's coming You know what I mean? Like it was we were like in in a weird little bush area and it's like whatever you just not into it You don't have to feel bad about this You just fuck where you feel comfortable and if you want to do something kind of not whatever naughty outdoors go camping and suck his dick in the woods or something but it's like you

don't have to want you don't have to do this if you don't want to man also you're gonna go to hell for living with homos so you might as well just living with a game right right that's an implicit approval of their lifestyle. You're gonna be living inside of a fireplace for eternity. With these sinning gays. Yeah, I guess, Eldis, what is the living situation here? It's like, her landlord and his boyfriend? She said there's two...no, it's two gay guys, they're not dating, they're just two single

gay guys they live with, one of them is the landlord, so I don't know if he owns it or... So it's a big house, it's not apartments? I think it's a big house. Oh, this is crazy. A big backyard and a fireplace. You should not feel bad. It sounds like a house. Yeah, sorry, I thought it was an apart, they had their own place, and there was like cameras

in the now I guess it could be an apartment like with with you know just a big-ass apartment But you know with a common backyard or whatever so anyway what either way? Yeah, you're fine. Dude. Don't fucking don't do something if you don't want to and you know go go fuck somewhere else outside Where there's no cameras, and maybe there's a little more privacy your gay your gay roommates might not see you Well to gay guys they they're not dating But they're assuming they fucked Every couple hours These people you have no idea I

Knew a couple of these guys. Yeah, I was in Boston. Yeah. Yeah, they could we took care of them We took care of them we took care of them off you know I kind of I got embedded to really learn their lifestyle and you the amount of times they wanted I said though when I was on the car right there fuck them four or five times a day what else we got LD hey stop hey eldest big fan coming to see you in Pittsburgh this coming Thursday. That was a fun show. I know you said not to buy Thursday tickets, but kind of told me after.

No, that's for comedy clubs. That's for comedy clubs. Please buy tickets. Let me be very clear. Come see me anytime at a theater. It's the one time I'm in town. I just said Thursday is kind of a weird day at comedy clubs. It's your warm-up show if you're a real fan of comedy you want to see somebody like really kind of trot try

New stuff or kind of get their legs underneath them. It's fun. It's a fun show, but I think I think the Saturday Friday Saturday is better personally. Yeah, it must be nice to be in a place where you can tell your fans not to come on certain nights. That's not what I'm saying. Come Thursday, Friday, any show. No, listen, buy the Thursday tickets too, but if you have first dibs, I would say as a consumer, typically Saturday early. Saturday early is the best show. So we're Saturday late if it's not too late. People aren't too drunk, but yeah. That's all I was saying. But thank you for coming to the show in Pittsburgh. That was a great show awesome, but it's all good. Hopefully you're late I'm a Gen Z listener and this call is about AI

College I don't know if this is anything, but I really need advice So I use AI to pretty much fucking write everything and I use the generators to see like oh, it's 40% AI generated it's a hundred percent Because I thought you should probably use that But I have these long ass papers seven page Seven pages is long? And they give you so much work, how could I not use AI? Oh my god.

Anyway, let me get to the point. This legit is making me, old man yells a cloud. I really feel like Grandpa Simpson right now. Seven pages is fucking long? Seven double spaced pages? It's not short, but come on, it's not that much fucking work. That's kind of fucking insane No, we're done. We're cooked. We're so fucked and look I get I empathize right because I remember being in college or even high school and

there was shit like Summarized dot-com or just some random shit that I would do but it was so clearly you would get Or just some random shit that I would do but it was so clearly you would get Instantly busted if you used it or cliff notes or like, you know shit that existed and and I get it it's tempting to use the shortcut, right, but I just you had like me and Elvis are fucking stupid, right and We could do this easily. Yeah. Yeah. I mean Joe Joe again was get it was blacking out He wouldn't even bother even applying for community college I didn't think about going to college for a single second and I respect that and you are right about that, but like

You're complaining about doing something like in one generation essentially right from millennial to Gen Z. We're two dumb guys Seven pages was not that much. It was a little annoying, but it was not that much work. It's become an insurmountable fucking thing for these kids that do not use AI. That is scary. So anyway, let's finish what she's saying, but I, you know, I just want to say like we really are fucked and we're essentially cooked here. Well, could I not use AI? Anyway, let me get to the point. So I have a paper, seven pages, it's 45% AI generated. That's what it's saying. It's saying 100%. And some of these other detectors, I use Grammarly. I don't know, sorry for the free plug. But should I be paranoid? Like am I gonna get hit with plagiarism and like ruin my

fucking life or should I also not give a fuck because everybody uses it. Everybody uses AI. I see these discussion board questions that all are the exact same essay with the same reference and like no one gives a fuck. Like I don't know what's your opinion because you're definitely not gonna answer this in time, but for future Thank you. Love you guys. Bye. Okay. Here's my opinion and back to old man stuff is like Don't even go to college then like you know go just like you don't have to go to fucking college I think college for a lot of people is fucking stupid the only reason I enjoyed going to college because I met some of my best friends

and it was more of a social thing. And I was hosting shows at my college and I used it for that stuff. And it was nice to kind of learn about certain things that I was interested in, but was it necessary? Even if I wasn't doing comedy, would I have wanted to go to college? Probably not, I probably would have wanted to fucking

ended up like trying to run my own business or do some other shit. Like I didn't like the jobs that college gives you, I don't think would have been for me. Go to a fucking blue, you know, do a jobs training program, do some other shit. If you're going to college, what is the fucking point of, You're basically robbing yourself here.

I hate to sound like literally a fucking parent, but it's like the whole point of going to college is that you do the reading, you find references, you learn about the topics, and then you have knowledge. It's not to get a grade and get debt. Like, the whole point is to actually learn something and you are you're sort of robbing yourself of the ability to get the skills that writing an essay gives you and I will say I'm not you know I'm not an academic whatever but it actually has helped

me in like you know like I did some pretty writing heavy stuff it's helped me to like put together scripts, to think about story, to think about this stuff. I'm sure like all the shit you do, you know, like getting everything together, get you know, whatever, like college kinda helped you do that, to even like fucking, you know, produce shit. Yeah, absolutely, I mean, you know, at the very least, even just like finishing it or going through the work

Hitting a deadline. Teaches you how to like fucking finish something yeah I'm gonna finish anything in my life but yeah it does see I'm assuming she's like talking about like history or some kind of humanity shit and yeah that's like that is pretty pointless if you're gonna like do those classes you might as well just like put in the grunt work and like you know why why waste your time being an information manager, like doing AI and shit. Being a middle man to have compute between two fucking apps.

You're a middle man between AI and a word processor. Or think about like another major. Right, yeah, exactly. Here's where we come down on it. We don't give a fuck about college. We don't think you need to go to fucking college. We're not your fucking parents. But if you choose to go to college,

then actually do the fucking thing. You know what I mean? It's like paying to go to a fucking amusement park and then hiring a guy to ride the roller coasters for you. Like what the fuck? But this is literally where we're headed. Yeah. This is the problem.

This is what it is. It's like everyone's like, why would I do that? It's why there's gonna be no jobs or anything. Yeah, it's fucking. The she graduates. She's gonna get a gig. That's just the same thing. You just plug it into AI We're fucked. I mean we're fucked. I guess I mean maybe that is where maybe this has become training to use AI for a company But even that she just said it everyone uses the same references like this will be a problem because it's like It's this stuff isn't that and maybe it'll get more sophisticated whatever but it's like yeah what's the point that's what I would tell you you're not fucked because you're gonna ruin your life and even this this shows the problem in this

thinking because a lot of kids just going to college because they're going through the motions she's you're going to God's you think it'll help your life and you're the only reason you're afraid of using eyes because you don't want to get caught in it'll ruin your life that shit doesn't fucking matter It's what do you actually want you're wasting your time if you're using AI for it, and I know it's hard I've been there. I've literally looked up stuff, and I remember the like Find a good paper find somebody's older brother took this class I got their paper and then i just changed a couple like we all cheat a little bit every once a while but it's like

ultimately what are you doing it for it also it also should feel like gratifying to like you know be dumb but still i come off as smart in the quality of your paper yeah yeah yeah the workload is heavy but it feels good like to write a paper you don't really need to read like an entire book You know you're writing on you need like you know find the two or three good passages to like really squeeze the juice out of Yeah, and you get like you know fill up a hell of pages talking about that

And sure you could supplement with some like book summaries or something that you've read But I don't know once you get into like a little flow Yeah, but but it's I just feel bad because she's like everybody's doing it and it's like I'm again We're literally being like fucking old people be like well if everybody jumped off a fucking bridge would you do it young lady? But I hate to hit you with that but unfortunately it's like you, you know, if you're gonna do this, drop out and fucking go to a fucking, you know, become a construction worker or a fucking x-ray tech or a hairstylist before you fucking just go on AI to get your, you know, answers. But it's gonna be like steroids and baseball. You're like, I can't stay in the league if I'm not doing it because everyone else is

doing it. But steroids and, this is like if everybody used steroids to bat 230, you know what I mean? Right. Everyone's using AI to just to bat 230, you know what I mean? Like everyone's using AI to just pass, you know what I mean? Like I doubt, I doubt that it's like you're getting incredible work done with AI. I think most people that are using AI are doing it to just like get by or, you know, we all took that, I had to take a class called Science of Water. Would I have used AI because it was like a fucking

requirement to just write a lab report? Yeah, I fucking would have. And that's even, you know what? I'll even condone that kind of cheating. Cheat on that dumb bullshit where, you know, they make you jump through hoops. But like, I'm glad I didn't have the opportunity to do it on the papers I actually gave a fuck about.

You know what I mean? Like, in the, you know, poli-sci shit, in the history shit, gave a fuck about you know I mean like in in the you know poli sci shit in the history shit in like media study should I did I liked learning about that stuff so anyway whatever also it's two hydrogens one oxygen that's awesome yeah yeah yeah right it is you're right you got that I didn't even go to class what was it so not and didn't even think about what was your was that when you're working at Sears? We were like 18. Yeah, I started working at Sears. Well, yeah, I started working at FYE for your entertainment and then I went to Sears after.

Yeah, but I just I hated schoolwork. I hated I hated having the paper and a thing. I was like I'm gonna do comedy Yeah, getting out and I did one open mic a week for two years. Didn't even go to a second video. I was like, I gotta hold on. I gotta get back on it. That's why I'm like- So you're just living at home? Yeah, yeah, living at home.

Every Wednesday I would drive to Boston and do a five minute set and be like, all right. My work for the week is done. Any day. Now you wonder why I'm fucking behind. People are like, you've been doing comedy for 25 years. I'm like, sort of. I did 60 sets my first year.

And then people, what would happen was, I'd go Wednesdays and people would be like, how can we never see you at the comedy vault on Sunday? I'm like, what? Sunday? Well, Wednesday's the day you do comedy, right? Literally for another full year. I did Sunday and Wednesday. Wow. I didn't then be like wait, so is there also Monday? You're having good time though, right

No a little bit I was what were you doing on Tuesday Thursday Friday drinking uh... you know i'm drinking with like regular high school buddies with all your f y e money yeah welcome horrible that's ice kids these days now they can get a i and just make plans and the big uh... that's so true but whatever couple more here l d we got for us what the public

uh... and get i put it out on like the past four times on calls. It's just, I guess, lesser than. Anyway, so I want to make it quick. My girlfriend has, she's great, wonderful. We've been together for a while now, about a year. No real issues. She has a polyamorous pass, which is nothing wrong with that.

It does make me a little uncomfortable in the sense of it's just not what I experienced But I'm like open to the fact that we all get to the place. We're at different ways. That's fine my thing is we also used to be the the mistress party of Affairs or cheating situations a few times. Like she kind of was drawn to the lack of commitment element to it, the kind of scandal of it.

I feel like that makes her kind of an asshole. We brought it up, she says she's, you know, she feels bad about it, but like, doesn't seem like she feels that bad about it. So my question to you is, do you think that that is a reason to cut things off or be wary or anything like that? Yeah let me know. I probably just overreacted but you never know. Thanks bro. Adios. This shit's not gonna work. I mean.

She was fucking married guys. Yeah. She sounds cool. Yeah. Sounds like my kind of gal. Yeah, I'd like to get to know her. Yeah, I would too, but the fact that the polyamorous, he says polyamorous passed, she was like, and obviously, okay, I was a little joking,

but if I had to bet does this work out or not, I don't think so because you guys just aren't aligned on this stuff. And obviously somebody who used to do this kind of shit in their past, they can definitely settle down and they can definitely put that behind them. Or more than likely, maybe they settled down with somebody who had a similar past and they understand each other and they're both okay.

Or you settle down with someone who's maybe not poly but has less attachment, isn't as jealous. The fact that this is something that you're, you A, kind of are judging her about it, you know. You're making a moral judgment in saying she's a piece of shit for doing this. And you actually, you don't appreciate the level of atonement she's shown. Like that's a, from your perspective, you're like, she should feel more bad about this. And that's one of your problems, let alone the fact that clearly in the back of your fucking head,

you're like, is she cheating on me, right? That's really the problem, is that you're like, this is something that clearly is eating away at you, and that's why I'm skeptical of you being able to figure this out, right? Like, you know, whatever, make a moral judgment, you can say whatever she did was wrong, whatever, whatever, and I'm not even saying

you're wrong to feel this way, but you do feel this way, right? Like you do, this is clearly something that's bothering you. Because what is the solution? You tell her like, hey, I need to see you cry about being a whore four hours ago before we take this to the next level. You know what I mean?

Like there's no real solution. You can't go back and have her unsuck a married guy's cock for four months in exchange for a nice sublet or whatever, or a fucking used Honda or whatever she was doing. I hope she got the bag, but you know, this is just something where it already feels like he's like, even the poly stuff, he's like, yeah, you know, that's not me, but we all get here in different places.

It's like he's doing generalization and rationalization speak, so I don't know. I think you gotta accept in life, accept people for who they are. Right. There's certain people, I remember, I don't wanna give too much away, but there was a person that had a thing

and then this other person did a thing, and I was like, are you mad at that person? He's like, no, that's who that person is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a person that had a thing and then this other person did a thing and I was like are you mad at that person? He's like no, that's who that person is. Yeah. Yeah, there's a real life That's like you could make this a person you fuck and you like her and then you know know that For her past. Yeah, she may not be loyal Yeah, yes, you have a chick that you're like I fuck this chick but it's never we're never going to that next level because this is who she is or Be the kind of guy who's like yeah

If you want to take this to the next level understand that is who she is. Or be the kind of guy who's like, yeah, if you want to take this to the next level, understand that might happen to you. Right. By the way, cheating, it is bad, obviously, but it's also, some couples get over it, some people can deal with it, and you should just know that is maybe a possibility, and again, people definitely can change whatever,

but we also, I don't feel like I'm getting a clear picture of her because I do feel like we're getting her through his lens You know what I mean? It's like She might not want to cheat at all anymore like she might legitimately have gotten this out of her system But it's still something that you are obsessed over so if you can't accept her That's a great accepting people for who they are is huge If you can't do that, then yeah, I wouldn't say... You're saying, should I be wary? It's like, you're already wary. What are you talking about? You're clearly wary of the situation. It's like, you have to be honest with yourself and say, can I accept this? Is this the kind

of person I want to be with? And if the answer is no, or more likely, is this the kind of person that it's gonna... I'm gonna be anxious to be with I'm always gonna be waiting for her to you know to cheat or me to find some emails where she's calling me ugly and sucking Guys dick or whatever or something something different I know I also feel like you know does this also come down to that You just never really got that much pussy That can eat away at you if you like meet a girl that's like fucked a lot in the past that absolutely you

know she settles down and that just makes you feel that can make you feel like hey what the fuck like why you know she's been ran through by every guy watch the Timberwolves game be honest it's like, be honest, is that part of what's going on here? Yeah. And that's okay too if it is. Like maybe you're both, they sound like they could definitely both be young and it's like, you know, hey maybe you just need to sew your walled oats or whatever out there a little more.

No, that's a great point is like some people can be with someone who crushes them on body count right some people it doesn't matter them some people need to be about equal whether that's a ton or that's low and it's just and there's I honestly have no judgment on either way I think whatever you want to do however many people you want to fuck is great but when you settle down you have to know what matters to you and make a decision either way So good luck. She sounds cool Have her you know and maybe have her DM me and I can kind of get her perspective and then you forward me her number

Because we really want to help you man, but you know just kind of let us get into contact with her and really figure this out Eldest with a little pretty. Hey, Josh. Hey, Eldest. Hey, guys. I'm going to try to make this quick, but basically me and my boyfriend have been together for a couple months now, and we have really great sex, but the only problem is he lasts kind of long.

Whoa. And it's something that I'm not really used to. And like when I mean long, I mean like minimum 20 minutes maximum an hour. Wow! Hard the whole time. He doesn't like the best he's ever had. And like this is the shortest he's last with someone. Shortest? But it's just like, I don't know, I'm not used to it.

I'm used to like max being like And I don't really know what to do about it So if you could help that'd be great. I love you guys Tell him to get off of antidepressants Guys clearly on Zoloft or something right right right he's fucking for an hour. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's yeah Does he bust like yeah, that's a good point. Are there other pharmaceutical things here? Yeah, something's at play Is it antidepressants? Also, I've had it where you take too many dick pills and your dick just Stops being connected to you. It's just a hard Thing that you might as well be wearing you might as well be wearing a strap on sometimes.

And it takes like a while of fucking to nut. Is he taking dick pills? Is he taking anti-depressants? If he's just a guy who lasts this long, that's nuts. Also, for you, if it's too much, you can be like, you know, I think... Oh shit, sorry. No, it's all good. You can say like, you know, I think, oh shit, sorry, no, it's all good. You can say like, hey, you know, rail me till I nut, and then maybe, you know, maybe it's time to, you know, because usually the problem is you can't stay,

I've had this happen when I'm not hard, so it's like we fuck for a while, and then it's like, all right, well, why don't I just beat off with your tits in my mouth, and I'll not that way Maybe you need to do is something like hey, man An hour of intercourse is too much for me like it's rare that it happens because the guy lasts too long But it's like just cuz this guy's dick is hard for an hour doesn't mean you have to fuck him for an hour if you

Don't want yeah, you know I used to have because I years ago I was on Paxil when I dated the girl was talking earlier Yeah, and I just couldn't come so I would just tell her like it's not you It's me. I'm on this fucking mental men. It's a side effect. Yeah, and We'll fuck as long as you want and then I'll just fucking crank But I'm not gonna just rail on a woman for 30 minutes Yeah, that's not what it's meant for. Your pussy will be destroyed. Especially if you have a huge cock.

Yeah, yeah. You can't fuck for 20 minutes minimum. 60 minutes maximum. Minimum is nuts. It's like you're in the Seinfeld porn. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, could you do other... It is funny, because usually this is a problem the opposite way, where a woman takes an hour

to come or whatever Right and it's like in that in that setup what you do is some foreplay you switch it up You do different stuff you suck you finger you you know what I mean you take a little break in the middle whatever Maybe you do this where it's like you control the amount of intercourse Because it's too much for you, and then you just kind of do other stuff and help him not in other ways But you know you don't have to feel like you have to do and then also I don't know is there like stuff to make you not faster Yes, I know they have like numbing gels to make you not nut

But there's got to be some maybe put some up his ass Yeah, try to surprise I feel like I come the best in fact I've been in a relationship for a long time when I'm surprised by something Yeah, like she'll be like oh god. I'm gonna Like come in my ass just say something you haven't said before and he'll be like whoa, yeah, yeah throw them off Yeah, switch up the routine. I mean this definitely feels like it's something medical though Otherwise, this man's a marvel a marvel of science And also the thing of like the best he's ever had all that stuff's great But it's like you also sometimes you can't

You know every time can't be the best time. You know what I mean, especially in a relationship It's like you can't have your best performance. Sometimes it just got to be like, you know, not every game is game seven. Sometimes it's a regular season and you just gotta get through it. You know what I mean? You don't have to bring your best stuff every time. That can be a little, you know, that can be a little tiring

and I think that's probably where you guys are at. You've gotta make the transition from that honeymoon period of a relationship where the sex is insane to something a little more sustainable here, I think. But. And it's possible you're ugly Right right right are you busted? Pussy fucked up we haven't even considered that could just be a hideous human

It could be like my girlfriend was with me right loves everything about you unattractive Gross looking guys getting snagged on her pussy. Yeah. I do wonder if he's secretly taking dick pills too. He might be. Because they've only been dating for a couple months. He might be. And you know that seems like a habit that just could keep running with after you're like off the market or something and Yeah, he could be like well, this is still pretty new. I still got to bring my A game to the fucking. Sure, sure, sure. So I know I know that the bait and switch. But how do you even ask that to someone who's like, been secretly like, fucking you with dick pills for like, months? Well, I don't think we need to cast judgment on a man like that, you know? I think it's like, I don't even say, secretly makes it sound surreptitious, the man has pharmaceutical needs.

Would you say secretly taking Advil if he has a headache, Eldis? I think you're kind of, you're kind of being pretty rude to the ED community here, let's say. Are you like 32 years old? Huh? Are you like 32? I'm 36 and I'm obese, thank you very much. All right.

I'll throw him in the mix when I really want a nice performance. I've never had a single boner problem. Very good for you. Even when I was drinking. Well, it's all scabbed up. Same way, yeah, no, it's a mess. But same woman, 14 years, it's a mess, but

14 years hard as a rock baby. Well, some of us are really fat and secretly gay Is that what you want to hear? Well, I am fit and secretly gay Anyway, so yeah, whatever have the can you have a but I think I think in the middle of that We gave you good advice before going off the deep end. So how ugly you are? Yeah No, you sound hot Give me only got time for one. Yeah, I gotta go get back to the baby. My wife. Yes, please Something to go out on. Yeah, this is a woman calling in with some insight to a call we got on mark norman's episode It was the guy who was like obsessed with making girls come every single time he fucked So here's what one listener has to say let's hear it from her

He's got a first time long time. I just had a pause. I'm looking for the mark normand episode um, he just finished the question from the guy who is like why can't I get these girls to come and he's energy was kind of off about it I just want to just run my two cents here I am not a comer I love sex I'm hard to pause this you gotta tip your hat to women by the way like. Like, it's like, sometimes you go to the girl, and she's like, look, it's hard, it's hard, don't, like, you'll be eating pussy for 20 minutes, she's like, hey, it's all good, it's not your fault,

I just don't, and it's like, insane for me. Imagine if you didn't nut, I'd be like, well, I'm never going outside. I'm gonna watch games. Oh yeah, I guess you would too. I was this guy, I'm telling you. And you still wanted to fuck. Yeah, because it's awesome to fuck. I guess you're right. I always said that, I'm like, I was this guy. I'm telling you I just still want to fuck Yeah, because it's awesome to fuck I guess I always said I'm like the fucking is great coming is nice I'm fucking wonderful pretty good. It's great

Pretty good. You're right. You're right. You're taking a hot wet asshole Fuck! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think is an important, you know factor to add in to what you guys were talking about I've been on antidepressants for 15 years Like it's gonna take a lot to get me to come. Yeah, and when I'm having sex with a guy for the first time Seeing how they handle the fact that I'm not gonna come is sort of really a good vibe check Like obviously this is what I stand or whatever It's different But if someone's super fixated on it and they can't like trust me when I say no like actually I'm good I'm having fun in other ways that can be like the number one turn off. Have a good one. Yeah, how many female listeners you have it's so nice. It is nice shout out to our female listeners We have like three And they've all transitioned probably they all got into you when they were like yeah

You're old dudes that didn't get pussy like well. This is what I'm gonna stick around their male women. Yeah, they're your male Yeah, you're trying to get bukkake by them Yeah, that's I think that's good And I remember that guy's call cuz he was weird about it and there are guys that are like that that are like I gotta make her come It's almost like a little he needs a little checklist on his right zone And I think the best thing when a woman tells you she has trouble is like give it give it a good effort But don't not you know make it seem like you tried as hard as you would like you don't hear that and be like great

I don't have to try it all give it the same effort You would anybody else and then if it's not happening You know that's You have you have clearance to just not really fast, you know, cuz that's that's my style of love-making Let's do our best to make the girl come and then once that's been checked off. All right time to bust Hysterically quick time to get pussy and just not in five minutes I've just never cared if the woman comes what the fuck do I care lip it yeah Joe I would I give a fuck about anything a woman thinks or

feels oh I'm supposed I guess I got a care of the urinals happy. I'm pissing in it, too Vibrator and whatever sure sure what do I care? Yeah, just listen do your best if a girl does she can't not don't take it personal That's gonna do for us folks. This is probably our most immediately censored episode of maybe we'll have to we should maybe also put this on the Patreon when it gets demonetized. I'm saying after let's let's have the unabridged version. You can see all that we might have to bleep out a couple cons here and there Oh, I saw but maybe first time we said good. You said it when you said you said it on your special We'll bleep it here, too, though. It doesn't let's let's also let's also plug the patreon

We started putting all the ads on there too by the way some have complained that we're getting too many that were advertising It's like it's a free show dickheads. How do you think we're supposed to make this happen? So yeah, we're advertising. But if you are a beloved Patreon subscriber, it's not more money. It's the same five bucks and change that we charge for everything. We've also started putting the ad-free episodes for our patrons on there. So if you subscribe to the Patreon, you get a bonus episode every week and then you get these episodes with all the ads cut out And all the curses left in so all the good stuff. So yeah, that's true. We should start promoting

It's so funny, dude We did a tour and we forgot to promote the dates on my own podcast We just I've done that it's so we're so stupid plugged it like three or four times and all the ones we plugged it much better by the way than the ones we didn't whatever we're dumb I guess let's plug the fact I'm coming to the UK they were coming to Boston your hometown I'll be there and I'll be in Austin as well and we're adding some shows to the dreamboat tour me and I'll just want to do a grimy one in the fall where we just get like a minivan and go through the south because we did all these theaters.

We wanna go do shitty clubs. Oh, that sounds fun. So we'll see. Stay posted for that. And of course, go watch Small Ball. We've already linked it, we've already plugged it. We'll share it on everything. And Joe's one of the, you're truly one of the funniest

comics in the world. Thanks, buddy. You guys are gonna love the new special. Thank you. See you next time guys, bye bye.