Stavvy's World - #134 - Katie Nolan

Starting point is 00:00:00 Bettering your business takes working with the best. With the James Hardy Alliance, you gain access to leads, training, networking, and support from the number one brand of siding in North America. Achieve new levels of success by joining the James Hardy Alliance today. Folks, we have a very fun episode with my pal, Katie Nolan coming up right now. But first, want to let you know we're trying to be more professional here. We just went on a huge tour. Never plugged. We plugged like four dates on this podcast that hundreds of thousands of people listen to. So we decided for a 60 day tour, a 60 day tour. I mean, we were gone so long and we didn't even consider to plug a date.

Starting point is 00:00:39 I'd love to blame Elvis, but this actually was, I mean, obviously he should have thought of it too, but that's on me. So we are caught. We are starting the dream boat tour. I'd love to blame Elders, but this actually was, I mean, obviously he should've thought of it too, but that's on me. So, we are starting the Dreamboat tour. It's gonna continue. We're hitting the UK, London, September 6th, Dublin, September 12th, Manchester, the 13th, Glasgow, Glasgow, fuck, whatever, the 14th. I'll figure it out.

Starting point is 00:01:01 We're also adding another show in Glasgow, and here in America November We're me and elders are gonna do a trashy little tour. We did the bus We're gonna just rent a van and drive everywhere ourselves this time. We're doing we're talking Memphis on November 6th Huntsville, Alabama November 7th Chattanooga The 8th Knoxville the 9th Asheville the 10th and we have added Greensboro Greensboro North Carolina Wilmington North Carolina and Myrtle Beach South Carolina we're getting real we're getting we're getting disgusting with it out in Myrtle Beach hopefully your divorced fathers will be down there tell them to come and then of

Starting point is 00:01:39 course Austin Texas on the 22nd and Boston on the 13th. Very excited for those. Please come out and purchase a ticket. We're pumped. The hour is really fun. And I think I'm gonna, I wanna start doing even more new stuff. If you've seen us, probably do a little more,

Starting point is 00:01:56 these are smaller rooms. I'll be doing a little more. I didn't do any crowd work on the theater tour. I wanna get in there, talk to the people a little bit. So we'll see you there this fall. Please come see us if you're in the UK or in parts of the American South and then Boston well we're adding more stuff don't worry you won't let us know where

Starting point is 00:02:13 else to go and now let's start the show let's get Katie Nolan in here welcome everybody to Stavisworld 904-800-STAV. Call in to solve all your problems. We are joined today, Katie Nolan. Thank you for being here, Katie. Thank you for being here. Casuals is out. Casuals, I did it on Sirius right now. Listen to it.

Starting point is 00:02:37 Great show. Thanks. Sorry for you. I was the first guest and it was after Raven's loss. And I have felt bad about this since where I was the first guest and it was after Raven's loss and I said I have felt bad about this Since where I was like, I didn't realize I probably shouldn't have just really cursed a lot from the job true I was like fuck. I mean every word. It was your first it helps debating with serious about cursing and they were like

Starting point is 00:03:03 Try to know about cursing and they were like oh you know just try to not. I was like totally totally and then we had our first guest fall through you came in huge for me. I was so grateful. I was happy to. I was happy to. And after a devastating loss and you just blew the doors off it. I couldn't yeah. And so now and then the episode did well so I got to go like hey serious I'm gonna I won't curse this much probably ever again. But look, the whole point is about the authenticity

Starting point is 00:03:29 of fandom, so I thought it was perfect. Don't feel bad. Okay, great, great, great. But I did, and I was over the top, even for like me, because I was so mad, we had just lost in the playoffs. But, it was tough, but you you know I think that makes good that makes for good you know we certainly milked you I was the sorrow cow yes and you just were sucking on my udders uh-huh yeah thanks for coming Katie yeah

Starting point is 00:04:00 thanks and so you you've done a bunch I mean I mean, I've been a, I'm kind of having a tough one right now because I haven't, I was not drinking for like a year and a half. And it was no like hard and fast. It was just like, I wanted to be healthier. And yes, she was so nice in New York. And I was strolling around. I'm in shorts in a Hawaiian.

Starting point is 00:04:22 I bump into some friends. Oh, you day drink. And it was not, it was like, they called me at, I was walking around during the day and then I went back into the city around like seven-ish, looking at a bunch of apartments. So I've been like all over New York. I have turned it into something kind of fun,

Starting point is 00:04:36 but so I got drunk for the first time. Cause I was basically like, what am I doing? It's one time, I really don't have an alcohol problem. Like I have a weed and like a Cinnabon problem I don't like booze I could honestly have like I don't feel the desire It wasn't like it kick-started like I got to get fucked up all day, but I am definitely sluggish I did that classic come home You know come home too late, and then should go to bed

Starting point is 00:05:04 Just sit on the couch and just like wake up at 317 AM and then you're like, well, let's see what we got in the kitchen. There's no reason to go, I'm up now. So I made a disgusting little, I made a disgusting little sandwich out of whatever I had, which was canned sardines, like spreadable, oh no, no, I'm sorry, anchovies. I mean, same thing. Oh no, I'm sorry anchovies. I mean yeah saltier

Starting point is 00:05:28 I don't know if you I didn't know the difference, but now I do I was not a big anchovy guy I like the way you say it. I was not a big anchovy guy. Oh, maybe I didn't know Should I say inch no you're right you're right Anchovy but I'm familiar with the... Interesting, not a big canned fish girl? I'm not a tinned fish gal, no. Really? Dan and I went to a concert once in Brooklyn,

Starting point is 00:05:51 and then after wanted to get food, and walked over to this place, I had great ratings, and we were like, hey, we were looking for some food, and the guy was like, we do exclusively tinned fish. It's a restaurant? And Dan and I were like, what's the point of this? It's a restaurant. It's at's a restaurant that opens up cans? You just, yeah right? Do I have to pop it open myself? What the hell? It was wild.

Starting point is 00:06:11 Exclusively? What do they mean by that? Exclusively tinned fish, that's it. But different types, different varieties. Appetizer size or entree. Honestly, you said that, Eldest's eyes lit up. What's the, what is it called? I can find it. I'm sure I can find it. If it's still in business this was a couple years ago and I can't imagine it's a profitable model I don't know I mean if you upcho- if I kind of respect it cause tin fish cost a certain like let's say

Starting point is 00:06:34 cost four bucks or like the high end one right? Sell it for seven you're in a fucking restaurant already done kind of smart I respect them I spent like a hundred dollars on four cans of tin fish in LA on the tour at like some fancy little place. They like they got me I got one of them and she started talking about how good all the others were I'm like I gotta get these for the bus Yeah

Starting point is 00:06:54 I got up so he's the sucker. I mean this guy the same like a salty little Shiver of fish Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh- That roof to this day ruin them for me. Yeah, and then on tires. I had to eat there's a scene where I have to eat something disgusting yeah, and And so what they did was they put like anchovies with like With fucking with some kind of cheese. It was actually kind of they had like a expensive cheese they put like brie or some shit and It was supposed to look like a weird fucked up delicacy for you know. He's like, it's all he has is tinned fish essentially to show that I'm in rock bottom.

Starting point is 00:07:48 And I was like, oh, this is gross. I was like, I don't even want this. I was like, guys, we can have this, but can you also get me some other shit that I'll actually eat, because I don't want this. So I made them get chicken nuggets and fries with the anchovies and shit. And then they're like, can you just take one bite

Starting point is 00:08:02 of the anchovies? And you loved it. And I was like, this is fucking incredible. They're like little salt salt and they melt salt Yeah, yeah, the first time I had like a homemade Caesar dressing yeah, and you're at first you're like I don't want the anchovies But if you power through it, and you actually just taste it. Yeah, it's just like a salty little sliver of salt flavor It's nice, so you're not so it sounds like I don't mean to kind of put you on blast immediately. You gotta change your colors quick on thin frizz.

Starting point is 00:08:32 But you're never gonna catch me waking up at 315 and eating them out of a can. In my defense I had nothing. What else was on the sandwich? It was like that spreadable like not, not Babybel, but a different type of that Laughing Cow cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had this old freezer bread that was like, it's like a health bread. It's called Ezekiel bread.

Starting point is 00:08:55 Yeah, I've heard of that. So I, I mean, I had not, because I have, I've been on tour and I'm also trying to eat healthy. So there's no good snacks here. Right, that's for the best. And yes, it is. And that's really all it was.

Starting point is 00:09:05 It was an open-faced, laughing cow, anchovies. Not as bad as it could have been. With a popcorn side. Of course. And a weird cottage cheese ice cream that I found for dessert. So that was probably just regular ice cream, but old. With chocolate chips. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:20 No, no. It has the worst. OK, we're actually going to give them some free advertising. Let's do it. And I do love this product, actually. I just found out about they had it on go puff. It's called From me personally yeah, absolutely. Thank you for all that you do it is good when you're stoned and you just need a snack immediately It's called it has all the worst name I've ever heard in my life, so this is not actually great advertising It's called smearar Case. No. Smear?

Starting point is 00:09:45 No. You want to eat something and it's smear? You're thinking of pap smear. That makes me think of a pap, yeah, exactly. There's no way you're not thinking of just like- That is, I'm thinking of my cervix. Of medical pussy cream. Smear case.

Starting point is 00:09:57 Like, yeah. But it's fucking good as hell and it's super, it's super protein heavy and you know, I gotta get my protein, Katie. I'm trying to get Adulthood is just ways trying to find ways to put protein into your absolutely I've eaten so much way more cottage cheese a lot more whey protein But anyway, so I had it and then I put chocolate

Starting point is 00:10:17 I have found some baking chocolate, and I put that's always the like this is kind of chocolate Will do but it's not it tastes like dirt if you think about it I put a little- That's always the like, this is kind of chocolate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the only chocolate I have, it will do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not, it tastes like dirt if you think about it. But you know what? It would the little smear kit, with the little fucked up cottage cheese ice cream and some chocolate. Yeah, nothing, smear campaign.

Starting point is 00:10:35 I had a, it was fucked. I mean, a lot of, everything I ate was kind of smear, it was smeary. Yeah. I smeared shitty cheese. Yeah. And the anchovies were kind of old, they were kind of smeared.

Starting point is 00:10:46 This tastes pretty good. This was literally last night. This was the last meal you ate. Honestly, I made a sensible salmon lunch before you got here. Smart. But other than that, yes, that's what's in my belly right now. Smart, good.

Starting point is 00:10:56 You're loaded to the gills with fish. Along with like five, yeah I am. Nice, sick. Actually you're right. Some old fat, and I had sushi the day before. Oh my god. It's like, it's that and like five old fashions and like, you know. Yeah, I stopped drinking in the pandemic kind of by accident.

Starting point is 00:11:11 Dan obviously doesn't drink. Yeah. And so we just didn't. He did all the shopping and he never I was never going to be like, go to the liquor store and get me some booze. Don't touch it. And so I just stopped, which I never would have thought I'd be able to do. And now when I drink, I'm it's embarrassing. I drink like two drinks. I'm just loose. Totally. I'm just out here loose. And then I'll come home and then I'll have a headache the next day. And I'm like, what's going on? I used to put beers down.

Starting point is 00:11:42 Were you a real, yeah, you were real drunk? What are we talking here? Yeah, I mean, I probably shouldn't have drank as much as I did at as many professional functions as I did. Sure, sure, sure. I think I had a couple benevolent helpers in the sports media industry. I feel like Joel Klatt once said like,

Starting point is 00:11:59 "'You always get in this Drunk at Work stuff?' And I didn't pick up on it. I was like, you know it, baby! Hell yeah, I'm fine, it's free. Did you know this is open bar, dude? I knew you'd do it! And then I think the next day I saw him at, like, whatever game we were there covering,

Starting point is 00:12:13 and I was like, I'm sorry, Joel, I was out of line last night. But yeah, so I just like, but now I can't do it, and I just feel like it's a bummer to revisit drinking and not be able to go. You're aging unfortunately. Yes, and that's what I hear. I don't like it.

Starting point is 00:12:30 It really is everyday something new. Where I'm like, oh that's just what my hip feels like now. You're done. But you know, you're holding up great. Thanks, thank you. But also, you also got pretty successful, pretty young. So there was a, you probably were still in party mode at these, because I was watching, I was a sports nerd.

Starting point is 00:12:52 So I was like, before we were friends, I was a fan of your work, I saw all the stuff you did. And you were like, I feel like you were pretty young. 26, I was 26. And so you were kind of in that zone. Who were you the two years before shit started popping? What was your job? What were you, you were like just out of college.

Starting point is 00:13:10 Yeah, I had. I'm guessing. Did you live, you're from the Boston area, right? From the Boston area, but I had moved right out of college into New York City. My cousin from California was moving to do Teach for America. Okay. And she needed a roommate.

Starting point is 00:13:22 And I had a friend from college. All three of us moved into a walk-up in New York City. It was a huge mistake. I moved with no job. I had graduated in 2009 and I was like, I'll find a job. I graduated with honors from Hofstra University. No one's going to turn this down. Hofstra, hell yeah. It was crazy. It was like a thousand dollars a month I think was rent. I had a car for the first and I had finally sell that we were up on the upper East side. Okay. So we like lived there for a little, I ended up working at an Equinox cause I couldn't find a job.

Starting point is 00:13:54 So I sold gym memberships at an Equinox and then after our lease was up, that's upper East side Equinox. We're talking that's prime. I lived across from the 74th street one, which was nice. I worked at the 54th Street one, which nobody went to. It sucked. I was thinking to be real housewives territory. Yeah, no, we had ours was very corporate. Ours was like, if you're a person who works out on your lunch break, you would go to the 54th Street.

Starting point is 00:14:15 No, so that's not even fun. No, not at all. And so that I did that. And then once our lease was up, I was like, fuck this, I'm going to go back home. But my grandmother had just moved into my bedroom at my parents house She had a condo in town So I like got my own apartment Wow, but it was like in an old people's condo in Framingham, Massachusetts So I lived there and worked at a bar

Starting point is 00:14:39 Hell yeah in Alston, Massachusetts, which has since closed And then not the whole city just the bar They were like get out of here. It's too much Alston. It sounds too much like Boston Yeah, I don't like that people always think it's Austin when I say it no all all list in Brighton but I was uh, I was bartending and Blogging oh That was the right up before the I did that for like two years of like writing. And I started doing daily YouTube videos.

Starting point is 00:15:09 And I would at night, I know you do videos in like 2010, like 20, probably like 20. Yeah. 2011, I think still you're you're, you know, so they sucked. They suck. They're not good. Yeah, I mean, they probably were literally just me. Yeah. Filming them filming them editing them writing them Delivering them Wow, I learned I taught myself how to use a green screen Because I was like looking at my competition I was like these videos aren't gonna pop off unless they look like yeah, they still didn't

Starting point is 00:15:37 Pop off all that much, but it was like work and then I was going to bartend at night Love that fucking wiped. I was like working two jobs The daily videos were I was doing them for a company and they were only paying me 750 a month at the time Yeah, I think that's my rent. Yeah, so I'll just every all the dollars I make from home Dollars I'm making from bartending. I'll just keep I'm living the life. What kind of bar are we talking? It was like a college bar I'm living the life. What kind of bar we talking? It was like a college bar Like they were known in the area for being the bar that like will check your ID and cannot get in underage But there would be a long line. We had a pop a shot machine. We had two bars

Starting point is 00:16:18 It was like high volume bu BC Harvard type. Yeah Yeah, and so you are you the type bartender who is getting fucked up while bartending? Well, it depends I feel like there were times certainly there were times but like high volume bartending I hadn't done before all I had ever done before that was I probably lied on my resume But at the time all I did was like in college. I worked at some place called bench warmers That was a uh, it was in a strip mall in long island I worked at some place called bench warmers that was a it was in a strip mall in Long Island

Starting point is 00:16:50 It's like a nail salon and a place that does trophies for like love little league damn I would we need to get some trophies in here. Yeah, so it's in a strip mall Yeah, a strip mall a bar strip mall is it's tough awesome I had like the five clients that came in all the time clients. They were just people Long Island guys probably making horrible probably making horrible passes at you. Yeah, but they were also like, a lot of them were really old, and I was really insistent about how old they were, which I think really set the line that like,

Starting point is 00:17:16 this was not going to be a thing. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And yeah, if anybody ordered food, which no one ever did, thank God, I had to work the fryer as well. Yeah, front house, back house. thank God, I had to work the fryer as well. So, uh. Wow, front house, back house. That was when I used to get drunk,

Starting point is 00:17:29 when I would have like five people that sit at the bar with me all day. My shift would go until whatever. At Bench warmers. Yes, and I would get drunk. You gotta drive back to your dorm. Yeah. Because there's no other way to get there.

Starting point is 00:17:38 Yes. It's Long Island. Yes, exactly. Might as well get a buzz going. Right, why not? Really test things. Hey, eldest, I got a question, pal. Do you use Cash App? I sure do. Fuck good, because if you didn't, I would have said, what the hell is wrong with you, Eldis? I'm glad I

Starting point is 00:17:54 used it, man. Thank God you do. I couldn't suffer that kind of humiliation on this show. I wouldn't want you to be flogged publicly for your inability to use one of the finest apps. Dare I say the finest app for transferring money safely, quickly, securely. You know, that's what I love about Cash App. It's fast, safe, and honestly just way more personalized than other apps out there. No extra hoops to jump through, no extra shush, all the tools are right there to help you cash in. You can even spice up your payments with custom text, stamps, and backgrounds because why should paying your friend for brunch be so boring? I hate when I pay, one thing I hate when I pay a friend for brunch and it gets really boring. I hate not having custom text stamps or backgrounds for paying for brunch.

Starting point is 00:18:51 If for whatever insane reason you don't already have Cash App, just download it from your phone's app store, sign up, enter our code STAVVY in your profile, send five bucks to a friend and you'll get $10 just for getting started. That's true a Hundred percent for a limited time only new cash app users can use our exclusive code turn some additional cash for real There's no catch. This is it baby Just download cash app and sign up use our exclusive referral code stop the STA VVY in your profile Send five bucks to a friend within 14 days, two weeks. You know, you can do that within two weeks. Send your pal five

Starting point is 00:19:31 buckaroos and you get ten dollars dropped right into your account, terms apply, that's money, that's Cash App. Was that your first, so were you a bar, like what's your first job even as like a kid? What was that first one? My very first job I was a dance instructor oh hell yeah because at my dance center it was like once you hit a certain age you got to be like the assistant teacher gosh that was probably my first gig but Paige paid like shit of course and you're just dealing with little kids who are trying to take their shirts off all day that's all little kids in a leotard are all just like yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so you're just trying to keep kids clothes. They are cute though when you put little kids in like costumes.

Starting point is 00:20:10 The best. Or little uniforms. That is fucking cute. Very cute. Like a kid's soccer. When they got little shin guards. And they're so tiny. They're so little. That's your whole shin. Damn.

Starting point is 00:20:21 Yeah. So that was first job. Interesting. But then most of it's been food service. I'm waitress. My mom was a bartender my whole life. Oh, so that was first job. Interesting. But then most of it's been food service. I'm waitress. My mom was a bartender my whole life. Oh nice. So I grew up in a bar restaurant. A bartender nepo baby. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I was born into it. Damn, a mom bartender your whole life. Yeah. My mom was a waitress when I was little, but bartender does feel a little more hardcore. It was cool. Yeah, she was like a, you know, stereotypical Boston lady.

Starting point is 00:20:50 Didn't take no guff. No guff, huh? Type of a deal, yeah. So she was, that was fun. And then what I always loved is every Christmas we would have this Christmas party that was like partially family, partially my brother's friends, partially my friends,

Starting point is 00:21:02 and then my mom's regulars from her bar. Wow. So it was like they were like family growing up. The good ones, the ones you have to test. It's really cheers, huh? Yeah. You motherfucker, you were literally living cheers. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:12 Your mom, that's so funny. Damn, mom bartender is fun. That is very fun. She's a cool chick. And she was just working, like, was she around during the day? Like was she sleeping it off or what were we talking? No, she was around during the day, and then she'd it off or what were we talking? No, she was around during the day.

Starting point is 00:21:25 And then she'd go to work at night and come home around like two. There were a couple years there where I tried to push the like, my dad was an accountant, so during tax season he would like work late or stay at work or whatever was happening. And then my mom would come home at two

Starting point is 00:21:40 so I'd have people over until one. Oh wow. And it was, I got caught very quickly but that Interesting, but I was really like what's the best? Why not? Yeah, what's the bet? It was there like a legendary night at the Nolans. What was your best one? Oh, I was gonna say bad legendary give me both there was a time that a Kid I wasn't even really friends with was there he was down in the garage happen by the way they'll find the line Yeah, but this kid was like early in the rounds

Starting point is 00:22:06 of people showing up so I wasn't already at the point where I was like fuck you, you can't come in. And I think I like wanted to be his friend. So I was like yeah, you guys can whatever. And then later in the night, I'm drunk. Somebody like knocked on the door. I opened it. I did not know these people.

Starting point is 00:22:20 Did not know these people at all. Didn't even like, and I had a big high school. I'm like I don't even recognize you from my school. I do not know you. And they didn't really ask. One of them just like walked in, straight down into the garage, punched that kid in the face, and then they left.

Starting point is 00:22:36 And so clearly they had just gotten information that that's where he was. He was like bleeding from his face. Luckily, I guess, in the garage. If that had been anywhere else in the house, that might have been a nightmare. You get it on the ottoman, that's a big problem. Right, but actually.

Starting point is 00:22:51 You just hose it down in the garage. But getting blood into the concrete was kind of hard to get out. Like it soaked in, it felt like. So we really did have to hose it. I think there's still a stain there. Honestly, you should have put motor oil over top of it. Yeah, or yeah. Should have to like hose it. I think there's still a stain honestly You should have put like motor oil over time. Yeah, or yeah, you're making you stain. You're right Or you should have been like mom. I'm building you a birdhouse and like spray-painted it and oh no

Starting point is 00:23:13 I got a little red spring. I've been you already. I love you so much Yeah, I got caught anytime I tried to have a party and it was a lot of times But I always got caught anytime I tried to have a party and it was a lot of times, but I always got caught. That is cool. I mean, having access to an unsupervised garage till 1am, that must have been good for you in high school. You'd think.

Starting point is 00:23:34 Yeah. You know, you'd think. It didn't necessarily help with the popularity. You were a fucking loser? Kind of. I mean, not like a huge one. My house got egged a lot. What, why? I think it started, I don't remember how it started,

Starting point is 00:23:49 but once people heard that it happened, then they were like, oh the house that's right across from the middle school, and it was just like, we were on a busy street, and then every time it happened, my dad would wake me up and be like, your friends egged the house again. And I said, what about this leads you to believe these people are my friends?

Starting point is 00:24:05 Why would my friends? Did you have enemies? What the fuck's going on here? I don't know. It was the older girls. I don't know. Did they fucking stuff you at a locker? They want, they wanted to.

Starting point is 00:24:16 The lockers were too small, I guess. So they had to egg my, egg is a pain in the ass. Egg's tough. To get off the side of your house. There's a reason. I know. That's the classic thing to do. It sucks do easy to throw and hard to clean up fun Sucks the noise is fun when an egg bursts Wow damn the fucking

Starting point is 00:24:34 Inflation is stolen the joy of egg. You true. There's no way kids are egging anymore. What do you even do now? What do they do now? What do you kids? I mean, I guess they don't do anything fucking cool. They don't even talk to each other. They're just all on screens. They're on screens. They feel bad for them. I guess they're kind of driving each other to suicide through online bullying.

Starting point is 00:24:55 Right, and so they do have that. They do have hobbies. Yeah. They're not just sitting around. They're doing something. They're leaking each other's nudes, trying to ruin each other's lives. God damn.

Starting point is 00:25:08 It's a simpler time, you know? So many nudes and are they even fucking? I feel like the kids aren't fucking like they used to. Yeah, I think it's, there is a big, everyone's worried that kids aren't fucking. I guess it hit Japan first. Because I remember, that's all I used to hear, was like, no one in Japan has sex and now it feels like it's coming it's coming down the pike yeah

Starting point is 00:25:28 for us which you know real shame for those I mean I guess now every kid just has my high school experience I guess I was ahead I was I was a trailblazer not having sex until I was turned out okay having sex until I was turned out okay but we wanted that's the difference eldest we desperately wanted to grow up with them being like don't fuck it's true at least the girls it was always just like you're gonna get pregnant don't yeah and I listened what an idiot yeah okay you're right oh that's why they thought you were a loser. That's probably yeah All the other girls and where was it French they framing him that's right, they're sucking and fucking yeah, they're hanging out You know there I was scared. Yeah, I was like I'll be the girl who does ecstasy once and dies

Starting point is 00:26:18 I'll be the girl who has sex once and gets pregnant Yeah, so I just you know stayed away from it. I was it like a religious Were you like I mean we were I was raised but not like super duper Yeah, like the classic I went to Catholic stuff I went all the way through confirmation so that I could get married in it My mom's thing was like at least get confirmed so you can be married in a church and that really that really and I guess Been engaged for like five years I don't think I'm getting married in any building at this point there's no

Starting point is 00:26:49 there's no that's hysterical to think about Dan getting married in a church I know that's so that is like I you know obviously one of my best friends and he is also the most classic just like I guess I just think of him I would classify him as a South Park atheist. You know what I mean? He's from Colorado, he loves weed, he loves South Park. There's no way I could see that man getting married in a church. I mean he would do it.

Starting point is 00:27:14 It's also funny to think of him, even though he would look great in a suit, it's funny to think of him comfortable in a suit. You know what I mean? I've seen him in suits I think probably. Cleans up nice. He cleans up nice. I've seen him at other weddings. I've seen him. But it's just probably cleans up nice. He cleans up nice. I've seen him at other weddings I've seen him, but it's just I feel like at his wedding. He should be which he won't

Starting point is 00:27:29 This is why it's so hard to plan. He should be like sweating picture. What? Just do it for you to do it was for us. We would just stay home Yeah with the dog and play video games and eat whatever treats we want to do We I can't picture how to throw a party. Friends would come in and out. Yes. You know? Yes, hang out with us.

Starting point is 00:27:51 We could get that going. We could try. Let's just do that, you know? Let's get, let's get. Perfect. How about a like a rent out a pizza hut? You know? Find one of the old school.

Starting point is 00:28:01 One of the ones that look like the old, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kind of jealous I haven't told you this. I want this for my wedding. With the like, remember those chandeliers that were like, yeah, yeah. OK, this is actually what should be happening. And if they don't exist, the money people spend on,

Starting point is 00:28:16 you should spend that to recreate a Pizza Hut, that would be honestly the best wedding of all time. This is the most excited I've felt for planning a wedding we do feel like business truck. I'm calling Dan immediately Because I think this is a great. I actually think it's a great idea And I actually am afraid our listeners are gonna scoop you don't do it because we have you know trash We also have trash listeners who have do you know probably live in the kind of town where Pizza Hut is still there's like who have you know probably live in the kind of town where Pizza Hut is still there's like eight are they're still kicking around I think so yeah I bumped into a Friendly's in the wild recently I have to go to this I didn't know it was a

Starting point is 00:28:53 Boston thing cuz we had it I loved Friendly's it had it had traveled to Baltimore yeah and I that little watermelon mm-hmm little watermelon slice the ice cream Jubilee roll. Whatever that was. I loved it. Their fucked up little steak fries. Their chicken fingers with their, with that honey mustard. Yeah, that's good stuff. Yeah, were you, were you ever a friendlies guy, Eldis? I liked friendlies. I don't remember any of the things you guys are naming though. I remember like the Sunday. They had the, yeah they had Sunday. Of course, you basic bitch. Yeah, with the upside down, with the cone on it. Of course. on it and it looked like a person. Yeah, the smiley face That is my family never went there. We only went there for like school trips and shit

Starting point is 00:29:31 So maybe I just remember the road. I remember that yeah, we literally were on the same field trip. I remember that Yes, you're right dude. This is so fucked up. It was a green piece of paper I remember the exact menu he's talking about because that's I was like when did I have a hamburger at Friendly's it was a green piece of paper I remember the exact menu he's talking about because that's I was like when did I have a hamburger at Friendly's it was that school trip yeah and then one other time my family like my my a family friend would take me out like she was like my aunt but not you know one of those classic you think she's your aunt your life later you're like wait as soon as you understand how to do genealogy you're like we're not related at all

Starting point is 00:30:04 she would like take me she would take me like you know every three months You'd like okay? Let's take the kids out, and she took me to friendlies once we had like a proper meal It was before that it was it was aunt and friend and yeah, yeah, yeah Grandma, I feel like grandmas would take you to friendlies. It always felt like a weird meeting Yeah, you were just like okay. Yeah, yeah, but the ice cream. Tasty. Great stuff. A real tasty treat. Wow, RIP friendlies.

Starting point is 00:30:30 The world we grew up in is disintegrating. Gone, ground round, gone. The 99, is that a thing? Was that just Massachusetts? You guys have the 99? I don't know about the 99. It was like one of those restaurants. Bennigan's.

Starting point is 00:30:40 Bennigan's, wow. Dan and I just ate at a Bennigan's on our holiday trip. Where? It was in, oh no, like Des Moines maybe? Benegans. Benegans, wow. Dan and I just ate at a Benegans on our holiday trip. Ha ha ha, where? It was in, oh no, like Des Moines maybe? It was somewhere, we drive across through the middle of the country. Oh that's right, you guys love driving. Yeah, because our dog can't fly

Starting point is 00:30:54 and we want to take our dog for Christmas. I felt too bad leaving her every holiday. So we drive, it's actually not bad, except for the one time we had to sleep in the parking lot of Motel 6 in Nebraska. That fucking sucked. There was a snowstorm or something? Yeah, it was too windy.

Starting point is 00:31:07 Too windy to drive? Apparently it's so flat in Nebraska that if you're driving on the highway and it's really windy, then a truck could get flipped over and then everybody's in danger. So we had to sleep in the parking lot of a Motel 6 with a dog, very humbling, in a car. She had the whole back seat

Starting point is 00:31:22 and we just had our two seats reclined. Couldn't get the room, huh? Really awful, no they filled up, it was all truckers. We couldn't get in, they let us use their bathroom, which was very nice. But we were driving through and we saw Bennigan's on a sign on our way out and so then we planned our trip back.

Starting point is 00:31:38 Sure! We were like, we had just eaten and we were like no! And so we planned on our trip back that that's where we, it was attached to a hotel. So we'll stay here on our way back. It was worth it. Benegans, I, it's, you know, we were, we were,

Starting point is 00:31:54 we were an Applebee's then Chili's family, you know. No TGI Fridays in the mix. We skipped TGI Fridays completely. Elvis was a TGI Friday family. We were big on Friday. Those Jack Daniel's chicken strips. That was what, that was my high school experience. on Friday Daniels chicken stir that was what that was my high school the Jack Daniels burger that was that was my Still fondly remember calls the Jack Daniels talking about it a lot. I just go get I think they do I think

Starting point is 00:32:21 I don't have a menu! What? It just sounds good. I want that fucking glaze and sauce. You're just at home googling what's TGI Friday's current national menu just so you have the information. Yeah, yeah. Jack Daniel's burger. That's so fucking funny.

Starting point is 00:32:35 Fridays. Yeah, Fridays, you know. It's just a burger. Yeah, they throw a little fucking, they throw a little barbecue sauce. They have that sweet sauce you like drench it in. It's barbecue sauce, man. That's what's tasty. No, no, but it's like it's very it's better than barbecue sauce

Starting point is 00:32:49 It's like thinner and sweeter. No, no I mean you've had this burger a lot. Yeah, I remember your sister taking us out to Get Jack Daniel's burgers a couple times. That's a good sister. Yeah. Yeah, she's awesome It's hot at summertime. You see I'm sweating. I was out getting steps. I wanna show you, I'm a man that suffers during the summer. You see how I'm glistening?

Starting point is 00:33:15 I already got 10,000 steps. I don't wanna brag halfway through the day. But when I'm out there trudging along, when I'm out there with these thick, generous thighs, sweating up a storm, you know what's very important? My underwear. All right, you gotta be comfortable. You gotta get the right stuff.

Starting point is 00:33:32 That's why I'm a me undies guy. They have this micro modal fabric, legit magic, super soft. They feel, I will say this, which I like, they feel a little tighter than other underwear that I've tried. They kind of hug you in just the right way, but they're very soft. I started wearing them actually last summer

Starting point is 00:33:52 before they were in a sponsor. When I went out to England, I was doing a movie. That's where I started kind of getting my steps in a lot. I wasn't satisfied with my underwear. I started experimenting. I bought a bunch of different ones. Meandis were the ones that made the cut for me. The comfort is unbelievable.

Starting point is 00:34:10 Like I said, that breathable micro mode that'll just hug in your you know what's, your fat little you know what's getting enveloped by that beautiful fabric. Elvis, you need to get it. If you're not on these, these will change your life. I know you're as chafes left and right. I know, I need to get some.

Starting point is 00:34:24 You gotta get on the Meandis. I did, not only did I have some, these will change your life. I know you're as chafes left and right. I know, I need to get some. You gotta get on the Me on these. I did, not only did I have some, they sent us a box. I kept them for myself. Maybe Eldis gets the second. Maybe if you motherfuckers buy some Me on these, we can get Eldis some as well, so. Please. Yeah, you don't wanna see the disgusting,

Starting point is 00:34:41 the whole ridden underwear this guy is dragging along these days. Please, it's literally 100 degrees out today. We love MeUndies, you'll love them too. Right now, as a listener of my show, you can score sizzling summer deals, like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com slash Stavi, and enter promo code Stavi.

Starting point is 00:35:02 That's MeUndies.com slash Stavi, promo code Stavi for up to 50% off meundis comfort that's made for summer. So okay, so you were, I'm sorry, you were a dance instructor, so that means you were a dancer, huh? Yeah, also a better job story about dancing. I was a bar mitzvah dancer. A bar mitzvah dancer? What does that even mean?

Starting point is 00:35:21 So you know when you go, you've been to a bunch of bar mitzvahs maybe? I've been to a few, yeah, yeah. Um, the, they usually have like the DJ, and then they'll have like the two or three, depending on the budget. Sure. Uh, young women. To get the party going.

Starting point is 00:35:36 Yeah, where the party starts. So you were really an incredibly low level sex worker. Yes. You were an escort. Yes. For 12 year old Jewish boys. I was like a geisha. More like a geisha. I would pour the sodas. Just like. I would facilitate sex. Yes, you're an escort. Yes for 12 year old Jewish boys You'll do like so yeah, yeah some of this with a 12 year old boy I'll go dance like when they do the snowball dances

Starting point is 00:36:02 You know when like a they'd start with the birthday boy or girl or whatever and then and they would split off and they'd each pick someone I would always pick the kid you knew probably wasn't of course gonna get done So that they could feel like they were a part of it Wow That's fascinating. Yeah, there's like how do you even get that job? Who I so I did it I feel like I my memory for my own life is really shady but I feel like I did it in high school because I Knew my friend's sister worked for a DJ company and so I worked with them and it was like For that age the money must the money was great. It was like 25 an hour

Starting point is 00:36:39 Yeah, and it was like a four-hour party and then depending on who's paying, sometimes you need to get a tip. Sometimes you get to eat from their sick carving station. The carving stations were out of control in Bar Mitzvah. But then other times you'd go to a really rich one, they'd have a carving station and then you'd be eating like a salad in the back. It's like, this sucks. Let me get, you're not even eating all of it.

Starting point is 00:36:59 That's nuts. You're sitting there on the bone. But so the pay was great for high school and then in college, I think I just like looked for, I was like, well now we're on Long Island. So this the pay was great for high school and then in college I think I just like looked for I was like well now we're on Long Island. So this is where the real money is. I was scavenging in Framingham Massachusetts. I had to travel a bunch then when I get to Long Island I'm like I can go down I could

Starting point is 00:37:18 do two in a night. Make a ton of money. And so that's I think my roommate and I got into that together, which was nice. That is nice, and I'm glad, it also does feel like a feeder system for sex trafficking. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:37:34 I did get out, and I think I looked back and was like, oh, I got out, like I didn't. That is so fucking funny to be like, gotta keep the party live. We're hiring like college girls to dance with 11 year olds. Yeah, it is. And I will say the thing that got me out of it

Starting point is 00:37:53 was it got really bleak towards the end. Again, as a child who didn't fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hearing these 13 year olds, cause that's what a bar mitzvah is, you're celebrating turning 13, talking about like, I'd go over and use my old moves

Starting point is 00:38:06 from when I was in high school and be like, how come we're not dancing with those girls over there? And they'd be like, she's ran through. She sucked my dick. I'm like, what, you're 13! You're 13! It was too much, the dynamic changed. That's so fucking funny.

Starting point is 00:38:24 And once I was like, oh, you're changed. That's so fucking funny. And once I was like, oh, you're all fucking? This feels so different. The meat station's uncomfortable now. I don't want to be around this. No, you're right, because if the kids aren't fucking, you're essentially like a lady who's hired to dress up as a Disney princess for a child's party.

Starting point is 00:38:40 But when they start fucking, that's when you are now an escort. Now I'm like, don't look at me Any of you ran through This fucking long guy yeah, I mean I remember one time in middle school in gym It's eighth grade and it's like a it's like the end of the year. We're eighth graders It's like an open period They don't really you know, we're playing who we're playing pickup games and a lot of kids just chilling talking and I overheard like This these kids

Starting point is 00:39:17 Making plans to get like two dudes and a girl are making plans for her to suck their dicks sick and I was like what? You guys get head? And you're just openly, you're not like nervous to like kiss a girl. You're like okay so you know clocks ticking are you gonna suck us off or not? Like not only were they getting head but they were, it was so normal to them. They were impatient about it. That they like were calmer about it than I am even now. As a 36-year-old man, these kids, and then the funniest thing was,

Starting point is 00:39:49 they, I'm dribbling a ball, I overhear this, and I go like, I drop the ball, the ball's just, and they see my face being like, and they're like, he listening. And they're like, now they're boring him, and they're like, yo, look, he listening. And I was like, oh, and then I go like, oh, I go like, miss a layup or something? I was like, no, I've gotten head before.

Starting point is 00:40:10 I've certainly kissed a woman once. It was fucking awesome. And then they were, they were more, literally more mature than I am now. They're like, and then they like kind of laughed it off and like went back to their plant. Like they didn't even, here's how, it's even more devastating,

Starting point is 00:40:24 they didn't even feel the need to bully me they're like that poor kid anyway let's go get our dicks sucked oh man that was yeah that really was i was i think there was some fear i guess yeah from i get we i i mean i went to orthodox you know we're we're Greek Orthodox and It sounds way more hardcore than it is. I was gonna say what's the big thing? What's Greek Orthodox is big? Like we weren't allowed to Something see not nothing really. Yeah. In fact, the first time I did touch tits was in my church Actually, like I know kind of similar to like how Jewish kids would like go to camp or whatever, right? We had like a youth group People were like making out I I touched titties in ninth grade at the Greek Fed I was drunk and touching titties upstairs ninth grade ninth or tenth. Yeah, but don't get me wrong. That was it

Starting point is 00:41:14 It was like a little a little that's almost like God teasing me like yeah Here's what you're gonna touch tits twice in one summer and then say goodbye to them till college It was actually more cruel than not letting me touch. You'd almost rather not know what it feels like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead, you're at home being like, yeah, just like looking at my hands. It's like this, but this. Crying. Yeah. And I think I've told this story before, but not only did I

Starting point is 00:41:43 I experienced like sort of That girl I was like it was like kind of awesome. I was like whoa this girl's let me touch this We were we went to the same high school, and then I hit her up. You know on my space this is the days we're talking right and She's like haha last night was pretty crazy. Don't remember anything. How about you? And I was like Me neither and she's like posting a picture like her boy. She had a And then I was like, ha ha ha, me neither. And she's like posting a picture with like her, she had a boyfriend she was like cheating on.

Starting point is 00:42:09 You had touched Taken Tits? I had touched Taken Tits. Yep, yep, yep. And then she kind of played it off. And like I was nothing but a piece of ass for the night to her. Damn, you got used. I got used, I got used.

Starting point is 00:42:20 Used and discarded. And I was like, of course, I was like, well I'm essentially married now, this is my wife I'm literally like well, I have a girlfriend I can only think about her when I masturbate no more porn for me. You know, maybe that was a it was 10th Was it 11th grade cuz I had a if the number keeps going up. yeah yeah it was it was it was four days ago my first set that was walking no I made that was one was 10th grade and then this girl that I'm thinking it was 11th because I had a day I had a job an after-school job oh yeah you were working man I was a working man

Starting point is 00:42:58 you needed those tips I was a telemarketer oh my god that's way too young to be a telemarketer oh yeah I mean we That's way too young to be a telemarketer. Oh yeah, I mean we 100% aided in the mortgage crisis. It was a company called American Government Mortgage. Yeah, that's what they're all called. I feel like some form of words that sound important and correct. It's supposed to be... Did you know Dan got scammed? Did Dan tell you he got scammed? No. When? Recently or back in the day? I shouldn't share this this is his story to share. I shouldn't share it Star-roast I stepped out of the house for just a little oh no Podcast no when I came home. I mean he full-on like wrote on a post-it note and it's Okay, I'll say I'll ask him. Holy shit

Starting point is 00:43:40 I think you have to have to have to do the pods and very next week or a couple They can tell you this story. I can't wait. That's so fucking funny Oh my god, so embarrassing there are some scams going around Everybody's doing it American government mortgage or yeah, I will to my credit. I was so bad. I never felt nobody ever filled out an apple I was so bad at the job. I mean I was on my space. Yeah cold cold calling I just would write that I called and they didn't answer. I was on MySpace. I mean, those were the sales. Yeah, cold calling, I just would write that I called and they didn't answer. I didn't call.

Starting point is 00:44:07 I don't wanna call anybody. Yeah, yeah. That's suck. Hi, do you want a gym membership? No, if they did, they'd be here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna call and sell them. That's not gonna work.

Starting point is 00:44:15 That must work like one out of, were there people that were good at that? Yes, this kid Andre. He had this like phone bank and he would just, he never left his office. You never saw him give a tour of the gym. You never saw him like do any outreach, he just had his leads, he would call them,

Starting point is 00:44:30 and he would lead the company in sales. I never figured out how he did it, but there had to be some sort of nefariousness. I don't know, I think he had other people making calls for him, I don't know. It was an interesting sale, I'm not built for the sales world. I don't have that like

Starting point is 00:44:48 You'd be so pushy People sign up for this gym. That was like a lot of money a month dollars a month during the recession Losing their jobs. I was locking them into one-year contracts and being like, oh you got fired Unfortunately, I do still need you to uphold your end of the year Yeah, I felt really shitty about that. They wait they made you like call and be like, well, they would come in and go like can we cancel our membership? I was like, unfortunately, you're on your first year. Wow here you are locked in. Holy shit. Once the year is up I could cancel Damn, they I think they eventually reversed that policy. Yeah enough people were like this is I mean, that's insane We don't have jobs

Starting point is 00:45:23 The fact that gyms are able to just be like, no, you have to do a little obstacle course if you want to cancel. In order to cancel, come in, talk to me for an hour. Write me a letter. It's like, what the fuck is this? I know, it's crazy. This is a gym. Yeah, we should be able to just go cancel.

Starting point is 00:45:37 I could cancel anything. Cancel. Yeah. Even cable now is easier than it used to be, but gyms, you've gotta give them blood. Yeah, they make you jump through fucking hoops. And I don't know why that's why how strong is the gym lobby that they're allowed to do That legally I think it's that they their business model runs on people paying for it and not going Yeah, of course. So they once you're in that situation They would love to keep you in that course because if everybody came in there wouldn't be enough machines

Starting point is 00:46:04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they want the people. Especially, literally Planet Fitness cannot house the amount of people. Right, it's like, the way that we had to hit our quota every month in sales, I think early in my tenure, six months, I said like, where are we putting all these people?

Starting point is 00:46:19 And they looked at me with the like, aw, honey. They don't show up. It's, you sort sorta just keep selling every month to more people that can't fit into the same gym. So I think that's why they make it hard to cancel cause they're like, this keeps us afloat. This is how we rob people. If people who didn't wanna be here could cancel easily,

Starting point is 00:46:38 we'd make no money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they'd still get people like me who just forget. Yeah. I let stuff ride way too long I like to ride way too. I had two health insurances You go to the doctor because I had never yes I had never had health insurance through work for some reason something about being on air talent. They never give you the like

Starting point is 00:46:59 So I'd gotten it through the marketplace and then when I got to ESPN they were like we're giving you health insurance I was like sick, but I didn't cancel my other one. And I didn't understand the coverages of the one for ESPN. And that was only costing me 12 bucks out of a paycheck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So whatever. I was like, whatever. Double doctor, baby.

Starting point is 00:47:16 Two health insurances. I want Xanax twice. I want two Xanny prescriptions. Make it happen. Ooh, Eldis, you know it's summertime. You know it's barbecue time, picnic time, hang out with the boys, get on a hammock and chill out time, and no matter what you're doing

Starting point is 00:47:33 on the summer, you know what kind of beverage is gonna help keep you not only cool, but it's gonna help you keep it something else. Keep it twisted. That's right, it's gonna help you keep it twisted. Our friends over at Twisted twisted tea our favorite beverage here It's Davi's world. We keep it the motherfuck twisted and you know that by now Delicious goes down smooth

Starting point is 00:47:56 Lot of different flavors no pesky carbonation to stop you from letting it go down smooth There's nothing I hate more than carbonation making a beverage not smooth. Well good news, because this 5% by volume real, brewed iced tea concoction, 5% like I said, ABV, full flavor, refreshing, you're going to love it. You love it by now. You're probably drinking it. Twisted Tea is wasting their money advertising your priority it's so ubiquitous on the show don't tell them that by the way I want to this is this is the only way no it's not stop this is the only way elders can afford a home some days if twisted he keeps I cut him a deal he gets 1% of all our earnings from twisted tea that's his

Starting point is 00:48:40 whole salary I'm really pushing for you know a fully annual sponsored year by twisted tea Honestly, I know we're gonna put this in the middle of an advertisement We are we want more advertisements twisted tea put us on TV. Let us be the face of twisted tea We're ready twisted tea, and we know you know it's gonna make that happen folks you you you know you're gonna Do this summer you're gonna grab a refreshing twisted twisted tea and you're gonna keep it twisted. I mean, we should, look, we have some questions to get to, but we do, you know, we have a sports professional here. We should talk about how hysteria,

Starting point is 00:49:16 it's like, do you think the New England Patriots did a monkey Paul wish to be a dynasty? And they were like, whatever it takes, takes after we retire our lives are ruined do you think that's what's happening with Bill Belichick Tom Brady and the Kraft family what do you think because it is hilarious that Bill Belichick is dating literally but let's say someone who's the age to be a bar mitzvah dancer you know what I mean she'd be great she would actually crush it she's got the personality it. She would kill it. She's got the personality for it. She's got the range.

Starting point is 00:49:46 She sure does. She can entertain an old man, she can entertain an 11 year old boy. She can pretend to enjoy something. Clearly. Um, it's, you know, it's mortifying. The first person I actually talked to about it when it was, you know, the story was starting to break. I was doing the Great British Bake Off. with DK Metcalf, and he just like he goes how about Bill's new girlfriend?

Starting point is 00:50:14 And I was like look I'm just glad he's he's he waited till he wasn't right here right That's coming out. Yeah, I know. I've been around. She probably was. But at least we didn't know. At least it wasn't a story at the time. Right. At least they had the decency to threaten reporters. For two years. I know he's about to retire. This is what you want to do to his legacy.

Starting point is 00:50:37 You ever want to be back in here again? You want access ever shut the fuck up about this. That's it's just she's a nurse if anybody asks That's what she's look I don't know I keep going back and forth on it cuz yeah I'm like I want look if you're willing sure to have sex with Bill Belichick Who am I to say that's not worth eight million dollars in a real estate portfolio Who am I to say that's not worth eight million dollars in a real estate portfolio Tip of the cap for a true hustle are doing for a bag chaser to the absolute max, right? You gotta respect her the Belichick family's nervous

Starting point is 00:51:13 That's how you know, she's onto something cuz it started leaking were like his family's like look man. We don't fucking like it We don't know what yeah And no one is happy about it younger than's younger than his kids, his youngest kid. His daughter, I believe, is later 30. She is a third of his age, right? Yeah, she's 24 or 5, and he is, and there's questions about that, he is 74 or 5. It's 72, 72 or 3.

Starting point is 00:51:44 Sorry, yeah, that one year makes the difference's... It's 72, 72 or 3. Oh is it? Okay. Sorry yeah that one year makes the difference. But you know he's 72. Okay close to three times. And she's 24. That's yeah is that exactly three? I think it is. I'm a math genius. Not me. And she's 24 yeah. Yeah so she's... One look and I'm no prude here and I'm not even an age gap guy. This is an alarming gap. 50 years is kind of tough. My dad shouldn't split the difference between my boyfriend and I. That's crazy. Who can relate better to my dad, me or my boyfriend, coming from two different sides?

Starting point is 00:52:19 It's kind of a stretch for your dad. There's a 50-year-old guy and a 72-year-old guy. It's not guaranteed they'll for your dad. I know like it's not there's like a 50 year old guy in a 72 year old guy It's not guaranteed. They'll even be friends now, but his daughter It is hilarious. It's like damn that what was he up to before? I know I just think the The wildness of it for me is just the shell shock of like yeah, I don't know where and just in bill We trust it was like the the mantra was like the way do your job in Bill we trust like everything is gonna work itself out it's run like a machine and then now yeah yeah North Carolina

Starting point is 00:52:58 has got to be so pissed I think they're at least a little bit like what's going yeah to hire Bill Bell. It was already like, look, he might not, you know, even though I do think he was, I hate to fucking give anybody from your favorite organization any credit, but I do think he, even at the end, was still a good defensive coach.

Starting point is 00:53:18 Yeah. I mean, their offense was absolute dog shit, but I think he still was like, even when they were really blowing it, he still was, you know, clearly had something in the tank. Very talented. And as a prestige hire, it's like, we're North Carolina, we've always been kind of like a second rate,

Starting point is 00:53:33 we've always been a basketball school, we've had some fun players and some good teams, but no, we've never really been a program, and it's like, this will put us on the map as like, we are gonna turn into like a respected football program program and to be like oh and by the way there's there's a whole no one is talking about our football team everyone's talking about how Belichick's girlfriend could be a TA at North Carolina she could literally be she could be

Starting point is 00:54:00 a dumb senior at the school she could still be enrolled there she could easily be a grad student. Everyone's talking about that. No one's talking about it and it's gonna be so funny to just watch. Very fascinated to see how the season goes because college football fans famously aren't afraid to use anything they know about you against you. Oh yeah. And so I can't imagine it's gonna be a lot of people just being like, oh that's great. Good for them. I hope they're happy. I guess they're lucky that what Duke is their biggest, obviously, is their biggest basketball rival. But it's like like Duke also.

Starting point is 00:54:29 I mean, they're kind of in the same boat where they've had some randomly good years. But I don't know if they're supposed to be good this year, but that's the team. Anything about college football anymore because it's all different now. Yeah. The system has completely upended. All the the conferences are different. None of the numbers match up with the numbers of teams. Nice try. We're still talking about Belichick. OK, you're a pro.

Starting point is 00:54:50 You're a pro. I see what you're doing. And you made a good point. You almost got me. We are going to circle back to the embarrassing thing about your favorite coach. OK. And then also also I think it works also with Brady Obviously because it's like his life is completely fallen. I really think these these are the most like cautionary tale like greatness Destroys it's not worth it, right? It's like that's why we haven't done it. That's also yeah

Starting point is 00:55:21 That's exactly why I'll never we're not in the top 100 Pod we're barely hanging on to the top 100 comedy charts, let alone the overall charts. That's what it is We don't want to pay the price. No, no, no here at Stavis world We're comfortable peaking it like, you know 70 on the top 100 when we have a famous guest on yeah But it feels that way guest on. Yeah. But it feels that way. It feels like you're cool with it. I actually I'm getting. I literally am. It rocks. But it's just so funny that they're and like you saw with the last dance too it's like did Jordan look like a guy who was happy? No. Like how like his eyes are jaundiced. I know. They're yellow as fuck. I know and he's going back to work. He's going back to work. That made me go like wait

Starting point is 00:56:03 wait wait wait wait. We are definitely in a recession. Yeah. I know and he's going back to work. He's going back to work. That made me go like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We are definitely in a recession. Yeah. I know the gambling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. How how down is he in blackjack? He's taking a fucking. How could you possibly need to come back to work?

Starting point is 00:56:17 Yeah, I think he just doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts is my guess. Yeah, and I get it. Yeah, I get it. But it's just like, you know, with all these athletes coming in and doing podcasts now You're just like okay, and what about those of us who just like to watch this is for yeah Yeah, we're just here cuz they think it's fun and entertaining I Know for me. I'll take it a step further. It's like get the fuck off my fucking block you motherfuckers

Starting point is 00:56:42 This is all we have. Yes! You're rich, you were at least, most of you are still in pretty good shape. You're, you know, the ones who wanna be in media are probably handsome or beautiful. Get the fuck away from us. Just leave the podcasting alone. We get podcasting.

Starting point is 00:56:58 Go be on TV at least, you motherfuckers. We can't have podcasts. You're the only ones they're paying. Yeah, yeah. So just go get paid by them. Yeah. and let us just sit in our cat on our couches. Yeah in our yucky clothes Microphone yeah, why do you have to take this? Yeah? They want to take it off from us and I you know what we won't let you we're fighting tooth and nail That's right. What go listen to casuals. That's right right now right now great show

Starting point is 00:57:24 And yes, you know Brady's got got cucked to oblivion. He sucks it. He sucks it at calling games. Everyone's shitting on him for that. That feels good to me. He's working on it. He's working on it. Look, he throws somebody in one year into calling a game like the Super Bowl.

Starting point is 00:57:41 I know. It's tough. It's a challenge. But that's also the ego of being like I can be the best It's like I can play it. I can talk about it. Yeah, I get that I'd probably be that way too, and you know obviously craft you know sex That was before that was kind of harbinger was kind of the first one to go That was like the canary in the coal mine

Starting point is 00:57:59 Yeah, but just would like to bring that up for the record the craft family He is a billionaire took a private jet to go to a to go like a weird shitty Massage parlor where the women are mistreated normal instead of just paying and we're pro sex work here by the way Instead of just paying a high-end set like he's a fucking billionaire said it just having a bar mitzvah for your kid getting a bar mitzvah Chatting up the hottest dancer being, how would you like to now have to work for two years? Perfect. How would you like that? You're in the pipeline.

Starting point is 00:58:29 How would you like a condo? Welcome to the organization. Come on in. Yeah, why don't, I mean that's the most despicable thing because it's like so clearly a guy that wants someone whose life is bad to jerk him off. Instead of, he doesn't want to let a nut off, like who amongst us doesn't want to let a nut off?

Starting point is 00:58:50 Right. You know what I mean? With his resources, you could be dealing with some of the greatest minds and talents in the making people nut department. Innovators in the space. Innovators in the space. Women who are doing stuff I can't even think of right now

Starting point is 00:59:05 but no he takes the he gasses up the private jet to go to Florida and So anyway, just wanted to anyway Let those are all the indiscretions from people associated with my team also, you know, Aaron Hernandez and yeah and stuff Yeah, and we don't and and that's actually where this ends We don't have to talk about the Baltimore Ravens or anything like that. And why don anything like that and why don't we start doing the questions now eldest I'm pro steroids though, so I don't even care. They're coming out with a pro steroid We yes that does look cool. I hate that. It's Peter Thiel Yeah, because he is a fucking piece of shit, but the enhanced games is a great idea enhanced game

Starting point is 00:59:43 You kind of have to, tip your cap because. Someone's gonna die. Hey, they're gonna die, you know what I mean? Yeah, they're going one way or another. They're going one way or another. Let's get in the, I guess you're right, cause can you have limits on the amount of students? I don't know, see I gotta look into that,

Starting point is 00:59:59 but they should have like, you can do a couple. Their whole pitch was that they wanna unlock human potential. They feel that leagues are stifling our ability to really push the limits. I do think steroids, and obviously baseball's cool, that's the last time it was like fun to watch baseball. Disagree.

Starting point is 01:00:18 Disagree. I know you're a big baseball guy. Me personally, but I get it. I know it's not for everybody. I mean, no, no, it was, obviously I mean, and I'm a little mad because the Orioles suck this year. We're gonna figure it out. Last place currently. Yeah, it's tough. It is tough. I thought- You're on a little heater. What happened to you, owner? Didn't even spend that much money. Yeah. That fucking pissed me off. Yeah. We get a new owner. We were finally free of that

Starting point is 01:00:44 cheapskate Greek. And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we...

Starting point is 01:00:52 And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we...

Starting point is 01:00:59 And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... And then we... accelerate, because you could argue that the NFL, even right now, is taking mostly poor people and giving them brain damage for our entertainment.

Starting point is 01:01:10 Yeah, their ticket out of the life that they were born into is brain damage, basically. If you boil it down. And then when you really look at how much NFL players make and how much the average career is, really, you could argue not worth it. You'd be so much better off having a fucking regular, blue collar job actually, probably, right?

Starting point is 01:01:30 I don't know anymore, because the job market's a mess, but that sounds right. I mean, we're not the stars, obviously, but when we're talking about special teams guys, and stuff like that. Guys who are on practice squads for a few years. Who average five years in the league and make league minimum or maybe a couple million bucks that after

Starting point is 01:01:46 Depending on where they live right after taxes after age and stuff like and they're out there just as bodies just bodies to get right Those but when you're talking about the enhanced games like oh, they're really just trying to Accelerate how quickly they can use up a person? Yeah, cuz like if you give somebody steroids and just to like get as fucking go for it possible Yeah, they will be so cool for two years and they will probably be done like they're gonna explode There's no way they're like I want to push the world record So I'll do twice as much damn and then that just feels like it could end

Starting point is 01:02:22 Well, thanks a lot starts. Thanks a lot. lot now I'm not excited about the steroid thing folks I think you need to know about our pals at Thuma that's right I personally have a bed frame from Thuma in Baltimore my beautiful beautiful oasis. I wanted a nice piece of furniture that looked good, was easy to put together, and you know what I got? The Thuma bed frame, that's right. And I might be moving soon, you better believe I'm going to be on that Thuma website looking not just for the bed frames, but all types of different furniture. They use the technique of Japanese joinery Crafted from solid wood precision cut for a silent stable foundation literally

Starting point is 01:03:11 I can't put together shit took me five minutes to get this together just by myself Clean lines subtle curves minimalist style The sumo bed collection is available in four signature finishes to match any design aesthetic Headboard upgrades are available for customization as desired. I'm a minimalist, what can I say? I don't got the headboard. But if you wanna floss, you wanna flex on me,

Starting point is 01:03:32 you get the headboard. To get $100 towards your first bed purchase, go to thuma.co slash stavi, S-T-A-V-V-Y, that's T-H-U-M-A dot C.co slash Stavi to receive $100 off your first bed purchase. Alright LD, why don't we take some calls? Hey Thav, big fan of the show. Yeah, so I have a problem with source and I just really love your opinion. I'll jump right into it

Starting point is 01:04:05 I've been with my current boyfriend for about four months. We have a bit of an age gap. It's nine years I'm currently 24 Um, jordan age, but at the beginning of our relationship as one I'm gonna guess he's older. I hope because He would be 15. Otherwise Let's finish up. He's nine years older. She hope He would be 15 otherwise He's nine years older she said yes, yes, okay. I'm currently 24 But at the beginning of our relationship as one does I stalked his socials and like let me tell you I'm really good at it like

Starting point is 01:04:42 level like deep tell you I'm really good at it like a level like deep like I'm looking at like newspaper articles about him from when he was like eight kind of thing I didn't really have to dig that deep because I found like on like Facebook and Twitter some really like cringe content like just like I don't know. It's not anything that people would really like post now and It's like I don't know it's stuff that is kind of like personal or he's like drunk or it's like fights with his girlfriend that he's posting about Well his girlfriend at the time but I was just just wondering, was that normal for the time?

Starting point is 01:05:28 Because this is like, some 15 years ago. Oh wow, fuck this girl. I just wanted an old man's opinion. Back in the early days of the internet, is this regular? I'm too young to know. Fuck you, lady. About Friendster. Why don't you go suck off your white trash older boyfriend.

Starting point is 01:05:46 Your 15 year old boyfriend. But anyway, let her finish. Yeah, yeah. Because I wasn't like... Yeah, yeah, we get it. I'm wondering if it's something that I can bring up to talk to him about because I wouldn't necessarily be with someone that was posting kind of stuff like that now just cuz it's unsettling and like just really cringe But yeah, is that something I can talk to him about is it?

Starting point is 01:06:12 Red flag. Do you think someone who would do stuff like that in the past has changed a lot? Yes Yeah, anyways, thank you very much Yeah, anyways, thank you very much. I love your opinion. Anyway, thanks. This is interesting. And okay, as much as it pains me to give her an actual answer, yes, there was a time where the internet really felt like a complete wild west. Like Twitter, like it's crazy that people, you know, this point has been made a lot, but it's crazy that people get cancelled for,- were getting canceled that seems to be over it's like Twitter felt like nothing nothing no one used it it wasn't important it was just like the void like you know there's a there's that classic tweet where that guy's like I used to I used to teach people how to

Starting point is 01:06:59 cook crack on Twitter now you can't even call a fat bitch fat on Twitter, which is hysterical and exactly kind of the point. Twitter before it was an app, before we all had smartphones. Yeah, it was just a weird little website. You would text, you could save the number in your phone as Twitter, and you could send a text to Twitter,

Starting point is 01:07:19 and it would post it as your tweet. So I was firing off like, headin' to class, like this useless information that nobody needed. You would post lyrics, you know, like little Wayne lyrics. And I think a lot of white people got in trouble for quoting the N word on Twitter. Right, because before you couldn't, there wasn't a button for retweeting.

Starting point is 01:07:38 You would have to write RT, then you would copy and paste their tweet. And so it was funny watching when that evolved into retweeting, people didn't realize what that was. They thought somebody was just typing. No, that's them retweeting someone else's tweet. It's, yeah. It was very funny.

Starting point is 01:07:55 But, and yes, people were doing, and Facebook was a bit of a, you know, it would be like, what are you thinking about? And do I, did I, I think we deleted my Facebook when we were Like starting a smart business page or some shit But boy did I I mean I will say this I didn't do any of that what she's talking about Yeah, but did I read my Facebook's and statuses and cringe about like who I was when I was fucking 18 or in college or like you want again we are talking about this is the height of our

Starting point is 01:08:27 Inseldom yeah, and just like the pathetic ways that I'm like Clearly trying to get a woman's attention. Yeah, or like the simp ass like messages You would say like you know what whatever I just like literally stuff that because I'm okay with embarrassing myself and like you know I share a lot but like When you just see a Artifact a true Archaeological it's not your memories. It's not the way you prepare yourself It's just the facts of who you are and you can analyze what a fucking loser you were

Starting point is 01:09:02 That's gonna suck for anyone who didn't realize The like we also didn't know this would be around forever It just felt like something you posted and kind of disappeared ephemeral it felt very if I'm just sending it out No one's gonna read it. No one's gonna care. Yes, so Part one yeah is kids people change absolutely obviously it kind of and I feel bad for kids now because they are just like gonna have what we described, but video of their whole lives

Starting point is 01:09:28 and acting like fucking losers. Or it's gonna be even weirder where they develop some kind of weird split personality because everybody has to have the sort of like, the way like celebrities have like manicured PR versions of themselves. Children have to start doing that. Either they will be embarrassed

Starting point is 01:09:47 or they will become these weird little sociopaths that act like they have their own publicist their whole life. So to answer that part, yes, someone can change. Now, you do happen to have a clear look into what kind of person he was 10 to 15 years ago. And you can do a little, like how bad is this stuff? You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:10:08 It's like. Because my thought was it's probably, it might be cringy. It was 10 to 15 years ago. So it could, he might've grown out of it. If it, if it gives you the ick, if you read it and it made you go like, ew. Well that. Then that's, that is you can't, it's hard to move past that, then that's, that is, you can't,

Starting point is 01:10:25 it's hard to move past that. But see, here's what I'll say. Ick is one, I would say, I actually feel like if it's Ick, you have to understand you're not dating him from 15 years ago, right? Sure, sure. And you have to be like, he was a loser, but yes, a lot of people, 15 years ago,

Starting point is 01:10:42 you were fucking nine or whatever the fuck, right? Like he doesn't hopefully he doesn't want to date you 15 years ago either right fingers crossed Yeah, because that would be a big red flag right? Yeah, I would say it you kind of have to like Give him the benefit of the growing out of I would say are there bigger red flags like she's saying he's posting like fight Videos or like drunk or whatever like I guess fights with his girlfriend I don't think they're Some emo shit like right, you know just talking about breakups and stuff drunk basis over sharing Yeah, which getting a man to do in general throughout is very difficult

Starting point is 01:11:21 And so this is probably incredibly vulnerable to him if he knew you had. I would also say just at this current juncture where we are in the world, hearing from people that are like trying to find their partner right now sounds kind of like a nightmare. I don't think you gotta dig too deep. You're kind of, you're torturing yourself. Look less, you know, take a glance at it.

Starting point is 01:11:43 Look at, you know, the newspaper article about when he hit you know when he went two for four at the plate that day and help them get to the to this championship but I don't think we need to go like don't you shouldn't be like every night logging in for your time to dig through his old you'll find something eventually well that's this is the cloud the cloud that for the phrase play stupid games win stupid prizes. Yeah, it's like yeah What did you think you you thought he was gonna be fucking cool? We all years ago line yeah, so 15 years ago if he's if she's 24 And he's nine years fuck this is like a fucking shitty middle school math problem, so she she's 24

Starting point is 01:12:20 And he's nine years older. He was one so he's 34. Yeah, so 20 right he's about our age Whatever so yeah 15 years ago I'm 20. I don't really want that shit out. Here's the other thing I mean Facebook back then was also like your Facebook world was like maybe a hundred College that's before like parents started getting on Like it's time to look for a new online Yeah, yeah, like all my mom's here. I don't think He was like posting that dumb shit for like, you know, just his small circle of buddies or people He knows from like college or something. He didn't think you know

Starting point is 01:13:00 Whatever. Yeah, don't his girlfriend now is like gonna look at that shit a decade later. Also, if somebody I was dating was like, hey, can I I want to talk to you about what you posted January of 2010? I'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? You go for content? You want to film us talking about it? What could we possibly need to talk about? Yeah, I would be like, why did you do that? That's fucking weird. Yeah. Yeah. This is a red flag on your part. It is actually more a red flag on your,

Starting point is 01:13:30 again, there is a line where if he's posting like white supremacist stuff, there's like, you know, you can have a, like there's certain things. Ahead of the curve, that guy. Or way behind it, I don't know, it's hard to know. Yeah, that wasn't the time to do it, but yeah, there'd be a resurgence. But if there's certain things that obviously, oh,

Starting point is 01:13:49 wait, this motherfucker was like, you know, posting violent shit or racist shit or very any kind of anything that really like unsettles you in a way. But like cringe does not. You cannot. If it's just cringe, you're the one who's in the wrong for looking this up, you know what I mean? I think everybody has to go through a cringe period to evolve into their final form. Absolutely. And so I don't think it's possible that anyone has escaped being cringy.

Starting point is 01:14:17 And you're looking for it, so you found it. Yeah, exactly. I think it's like good that, it's up to you what your limit for what their cringe could be Yeah, like I know what would be enough for me to be like this is not oh, whatever, but I don't know that like it's What could Dan have posted 15 years ago to completely derail your entire life right now? I just feel like I think if he posted like I Don't know I think it no, I don't know I wouldn't like I I think if he posted like, I don't know, I think it, no, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:14:47 I wouldn't, he's it, he's truly it. There's nothing other. Perfectly been made for each other, I do believe. But there is, yeah, but it's funny, like, cause what it would be is something that just is not, Dan would have to be lying about who he is. Right, it would have to be something like that. It would have to be something like, whoa, that's,

Starting point is 01:15:04 He's living some weird double life. You weird making this up yeah yeah like Dan posted but he's like been rich and loves his dad is alive and he loves him you know what I mean like it would have to be like his dad at a 49ers game yeah like with Joe Montana it would have to be something like that. But yeah, so anyway, we've spent enough time on you, our caller here, but you get it. Stop looking. Stop, stop. And in general, in a world, I think that's good advice for everybody, we're like, we

Starting point is 01:15:34 live in a world where everything is documented. We can't be looking for shit, man. We cannot be looking for shit. Go on, Eldy, what else we got? Hi, Stop and honored guests. We cannot be looking for shit Go on LD. What else we got? Hi staff and honored guests Okay, so here's the thing and I'll this is possible Could you play this when the guest is a woman so I can get both perspectives? Yes So whenever I go out men don't hit on me at least not in a serious way like I get cat calls

Starting point is 01:16:01 But when I make the effort and do my makeup get all dressed up and go out men never try to like chat me up like I have never gone out and had a guy give me his number and the thing is I'm a former fat kid okay so when I was younger I thought it was just you know I was too big to date but I'm fit now I dressed well and I know that I'm attractive as big as that sounds like I realized my face shape is literally what celebrities are ruining their faces to achieve the color Go to bars. I got dancing with friends I go out alone to art events and coffee shops and even restaurants alone and men just don't come talk to me Yeah, also possibly an important note

Starting point is 01:16:40 I dyed my hair red and I read online that men seem to not approach girls with fun-colored hair Really? Is it a real thing that like a woman can be so attractive that men are afraid to approach her? I love this, I love this Can you do this when a woman's on? Let's dial it back a little So she can tell me I'm so hot that men leave me alone

Starting point is 01:16:58 hahahaha Men are afraid to approach her and I know this sounds so fucking vain But I promise I'm not an asshole like I'm very friendly. I'm kind of the life of the party when we go out I don't spend all night talking about myself or anything Like it's actually been a problem in my life that friends and even strangers love to tell me their whole life story never asked me any questions So yeah How should a girl approach a guy like at a bar or a club without making him think that I just want to sleep with him or is that unavoidable if a girl is making the first move?

Starting point is 01:17:31 Okay, this was embarrassing. Thank you, Stavi. Bye. Don't be embarrassed, but next time send a pic. Yep, true. Just let us, if you're gonna, if we're gonna talk about your face this much, I'd love to see that face. Yeah, like if you're just saying, if she was just saying like, hey, I'm a pretty good looking, you know what I mean? Like I'm not ugly. But it's like, I'm built like a sports car.

Starting point is 01:17:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, Haley Bieber has spent $40,000 to get my cheekbones. They bring pictures of my face to their doctor. My first thought, until you went into how hot you are, because I, a little bit really is it possible You're giving off a don't fucking talk to me vibe because I've learned that might be I might be guilty of that every now And then wearing flat shoes. That's another thing men notice

Starting point is 01:18:18 Hotter friends Try there so it's that could be possible that you're giving off like I'm really not even try there. So that could be possible that you're giving off like, I'm really not that interested vibe. But I mean, she sounds interested, so that might not be it. Yeah, and especially, it's interesting because it doesn't, who she's describing doesn't like mesh to me, where it's like, life of the party, strangers will give me their life story,

Starting point is 01:18:41 but men won't approach you. Right. Like, if anything, who you're describing gets approached too much. So I am confused here. Now, she said she was a former fat kid, is that what she said? That might be the answer, unfortunately. Talk to me in what way? As someone who, well, because there is just, like if I was in a room with somebody who,

Starting point is 01:19:03 you give me five people who are like, and they're hot now, I promise you I could pick out if there was one, I promise you I could pick out who grew up fat. Fat only, not ugly in another way. No, no, no. Just fat. Fat is different, maybe ugly in another way,

Starting point is 01:19:18 I don't know, I have obviously much more experience with the plus size community. Yeah. But there is like a lot of fat guys when they lose weight don't ever really fully get their swag going and they sort of stay like kind of fat loser in what they present or how they behave and especially for men so much of things are confidence that it's like, you can look, and look, I'm not saying, that's obviously gonna help you out, right? If you lose weight and aren't confident,

Starting point is 01:19:52 you're gonna do better than don't lose weight and don't be confident. And I'm wondering if she has the cousin of this, which is like, a way that a fat person can also get attention is by, when she's saying life of the party whatever that can also be Annoying she ham you know what I mean like I know I know plenty of again I was probably that like there were times. I was overdoing it

Starting point is 01:20:15 I think I've sort of figured it out and corrected for it But there was definitely times I was like trying to overcompensate and like prove your worth to the group Yeah, yeah, when was probably annoying whatever I also unfortunately live in a more misogynistic society so a girl who has the same qualities as a fat like the fat party animal guy there's no equivalent archetype for that one for a woman which is unfair but is how society works and in fact they'll you'll get like labeled as a fat annoying bitch if you act that way You know what I mean, which is again unfair

Starting point is 01:20:48 My only think with all the information I'm getting is like are you do do you give off some of that kind of annoying? Like vibe, I don't know but even then I Mean, maybe that's it. Maybe you sort of still have the like, you know, maybe people, maybe you're overwhelming in multiple ways, right? The hot thing plus that vibe could make you, like just, they just don't know what to make of you necessarily.

Starting point is 01:21:16 They don't know what box to put you in. Yeah, exactly, cause like, cause, and I have heard from like, you know, hot friends have said like, I get approached less than my friends who are attractive, but slightly less hot than me, right? So if like, if we're to take you and look. What you're saying as true. And no disrespect, but I'm just skeptical of anyone

Starting point is 01:21:33 who over, who rates themselves this high. You do sound hot though. You sound hot. You have a hot voice. And I believe that it is possible, now maybe face shape celebrities pay, you know. You might over did it a little bit. Maybe you took a little poetic license.

Starting point is 01:21:47 I don't know about the buckle fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we're not saying you're not hot, but I'm saying like if this is, that's kind of all I can come up with, right? Is that there is, it's almost like dazzle camouflage where it's so much, because you're outgoing, you're like, you know, life of the party loud, have this red hair, have this outgoing hair style, have like,

Starting point is 01:22:10 are hot, whatever, maybe it is a little, I don't know, that's the only thing I can possibly come up with here. Or that you have in your mind an idea of how not fat, when you were fat before, you were picturing how other people were moving through society Picturing that like guys were just hitting on girls right

Starting point is 01:22:30 And then once you got here you sort of realized that like it's still sort of like this like it's not being a hot Isn't what it looks like in the movies, right? So this is a little bit of like Correcting your expectations. That's fine for sure or I guess it's also I think you should care less about The attention is usually the best way to To get it if you're this smoking hottie. Yeah Then just like go out and enjoy yourself. Yeah. And then you're, why complain about men

Starting point is 01:23:06 not approaching you, I guess is the question. That's a great point. What a blessing. Yeah, that's another great point. It's like, look, this might not be the way you find a partner, right? Like, you're also like, she's also made it clear she doesn't wanna just fuck, right?

Starting point is 01:23:19 And so, if you're looking for something a little deeper than this, maybe you're not. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure you have friends who complain about it. Like you're saying, like, what a blessing that is. You might just have to find meet people romantically in a different way. Meet them in a because if a girl makes the first move at a bar, yes, they might think, oh, she's trying to fuck. But if a girl makes the first move at the library or, you know, like outside of a movie

Starting point is 01:23:43 theater or in a coffee shop or something, if you at a park if you make it in a more sort of like less charged kind of implicitly sexual environment that the club or a bar is then they might be like oh I met a nice girl I want to go out you know and then get drinks or something so it hard to find, you're throwing a lot of information and this is sort of the best we can do here, but you know, for example, I don't really meet a lot of people in random bars or even when like, or clubs or anything like that. That was never my thing. Cause you can't really talk in those situations. At all, it's just a lot of yelling.

Starting point is 01:24:20 And if you're somebody who likes to make conversation and has made women like you by being funny and fun That's hard when the fucking music's loud. So that was never my thing. It would always be at a more quiet place I would meet or be a friend of a friend or like, you know So that just might not be where you fuck or make or make a long-term Eventually she eventually has to fuck these guys. She doesn't want fucking the first night Just don't let it affect your confidence. You sound like you know exactly who you are and how beautiful you are Yeah, if they're not approaching you then okay that then they're not up to your standard

Starting point is 01:24:52 Yeah, I think don't you worry about their opinions of you don't change. I agree I think I think yes don't bend to the yes at the end of the day Why do you want to do that? Right gives a fun you're gonna spend the rest of your life bending and you're gonna be very annoyed because you're this hot chick With fiery red hair. Yeah, I Personally love dumb hair. I think it's cool shit. I like it. Yeah, like like bubblegum pig Like you know, I mean like I like dumb shit like that. Yeah, but you know, I'm not your average Joe I suppose that's so true. Um

Starting point is 01:25:23 Interesting. Well Well good luck pal. Okay. Give me one of the crazy ones. Don't we have a crazy one? You guys always get wild calls. We'll get wild ones, Elvis. Hey, Stavi. Love the show. Love Elvis. Just wanted to call and get a male's perspective about the situation I found myself in. Okay. I'm seeing this new guy and he recently revealed to me that he lives with his ex-girlfriend. Nope. Like on our first date, I also had a roommate and he was like, yeah, I have a roommate and like in my head I was thinking like is it your guys girlfriend?

Starting point is 01:26:05 And then he was like it's my girlfriend. Oh no. And it's like for me like I'm pretty poly and like doing this like relationship anarchy thing so I don't really like I'm not like jealous that he lives with his ex-girlfriend but it does kind of spark some interesting like independent man you know what I mean like it just doesn't feel like he's a very independent man he's been living with her for like two and a half years or they've been broken up for two and a half years they've moved together one time so they are roommates now wait us. There's no way They don't occasionally fuck. I mean I guess she doesn't care they entered into a new lease that's Lunacy no way that's one of the fucking craziest things I've ever heard in my fucking life

Starting point is 01:26:58 All right, keep going all this what the fuck time since the breakup which I just think it's like really I What the fuck?... since the breakup, which I just think is like really, I don't know. Yeah, it's fucked up. And so I was inquiring about his place and I asked him how much he pays. He says he pays like $12.50, so in the area that we live in, you could definitely get a studio apartment for that price for sure. Not even financially. I pay like $1,100 for mine. That's crazy. So yeah, basically I just want to know

Starting point is 01:27:27 What some male perspective could be I don't think you need a male perspective I just need think you need anyone but use perspective anyone outside the poly community Open minded and not going like well. Yeah the incredible rationalization No Lisa a new up. Yeah, it's a yes. This is all screaming to me totally not cool Yeah, even the public look whatever the pilot that saying your policy don't care. It's like first of all it's not like he just had He has a girl girlfriend. Yeah, you're like this is X. That's different than somebody he might even have random sex with.

Starting point is 01:28:08 Like it's just a bizarre move. This is fucking crazy. And even if you, cause like it's not like probably people aren't jealous. They're just like understand that like, you know, whatever. We've agreed to certain things. This is not part of that agreement in any way.

Starting point is 01:28:24 This is a weird fucked up situation Yes, that is bizarre. Yes. Now if they were like are there people I guess should we let her finish? Yeah Yeah, let her finish Dog is like viciously annoying. Like, we were at his place, like they came out on the couch. Oh, god. And the dog kept trying to, the ex-boyfriend's dog kept kind of like biting.

Starting point is 01:28:55 And yeah, this was kind of ridiculous. So we went into his room. Because I was like, dude, I'm done with this. And then the dog just stood outside of his door and barked the entire no I that's okay you definitely made it to understanding and sweet yeah I mean this is insane This is wild you've got a shitty dog that doesn't need to be in the picture at all Not an ex-girlfriend stop also you can't really ex

Starting point is 01:29:33 Someone until you are forced apart from each other Yeah, that's a good point You can't really grow from the relationship if you just stayed in it But started having sex outside of it right right right you should in no way have to go to this guy's ex-girlfriend's place of living currently in Order to have sex with this guy No, you're so right the fact that there was never a break from living together, right? Like even if you don't fuck there are weird Relationship intimacy aspects where it's like you can't immediately

Starting point is 01:30:05 become just roommates then. It's one, again I think the point I was gonna make earlier was like are there exes that become legitimate platonic friends? Yes. That happens right? But you need time. But you need time or maybe one of them's gay.

Starting point is 01:30:19 Like the only way this is acceptable is if she came out as a lesbian. Like truly I legitimately think that. Because like is he making her meals? Are they watching when neither of them have plans are they sitting on the couch and like watching a show together? Really? That's too much with an ex the only way I could even sort of see this is not weird in the way we're thinking of it is if this guy is so indifferent and like

Starting point is 01:30:45 is if this guy is so indifferent and absent-minded. Sleep at the wheel. And sleep at the wheel. I have friends who are so fucking stupid, they're just like, oh, okay, I'll do that. If he's one of those guys who has zero going on in his brain. So get out anyway. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:30:57 And if he's the kind of guy that doesn't find this, doesn't see why this is weird, that's also fucked up. He's a complete dullard and you don't wanna be. So yes, this is weird yeah that's also fucked up he's like a complete dullard and you don't want to be so yes this is bizarre male perspective female perspective any perspective this is fucking weird as shit and I don't know like find out if she's doing his chores for him that feels important like do they I mean I wonder I wonder if it's possible that you know they were poly maybe like the boundaries of the relationship were so like you know

Starting point is 01:31:33 Dissolved or hazy when they were in the polycule that they kind of became like extended the way gay relationship life the way old gay dudes eventually just become roommates because they just fuck a hundred other guys they have Like an open relationship and like that's my route like he's he Polly or is she Polly? Oh true true We don't know. I don't know that. I don't know much about that community, so I don't know if it's like if she says she's Polly No, it's not like that. I don't think he's not Automatically like that. I mean we don't know right we don don't know I guess we you can suppose the kind of googling relationship anarchy for sure Yeah, I mean like a thing that somebody learned on a podcast. Yeah, if I had the guest relationship anarchy just means like there's no order

Starting point is 01:32:15 There's no like you don't rank your partners. It's like just it's pretty much like free love I suppose But anyway, this is fucked up and weird any way you slice it. And because, our friend here is calling in, she's even saying it's not the, she doesn't have the sexual hangup, so you're right. He's fucking weird to do this. Anyone who would agree to do this

Starting point is 01:32:37 is fucking weird in some way. And I don't have a read of the situation that's charitable to your boyfriend. Yeah, I can't Right now I'm struggling to find a way where I'm like this dude is not fucking weird. Yeah, I can't I'm being less charitable But I too can't find it Yeah, if I got in a fight with my boyfriend, and I knew he was at home with his ex I would just constantly like is he going right bitch? She doesn't do it like totally just bang and I don't know. Well, that's another thing.

Starting point is 01:33:05 If you live, you're around your ex for long enough, you're probably gonna fuck them. You've done it before. If you want it, you can, I don't know. It just feels like a recipe for disaster. And it's like- Right, nothing good can come of it. I don't wanna tell you to get out of something if you're fully in love with this guy.

Starting point is 01:33:20 I think you can be a regular guy maybe and have found yourself in this situation, but it does feel like the point about independence stands out to me. It's like you don't want a guy who is this lazy about his living situation. Who's so about inertia, like clearly inertia is the strongest force in this man's life. I mean maybe he's incredibly powerful and successful business wise and just lets his personal life fall completely to shit. But this is a new level of like, you need to grow up and get your own place.

Starting point is 01:33:51 I usually hate when people say that to somebody with roommates if it's like, guy and roommate. Or get a different roommate. Right, it's like you can. Just get a different fucking roommate. I'm not trying to shame you for having a roommate, it's the fact that it's a girl you used to regularly have sex with.

Starting point is 01:34:02 Yeah, who you broke up with two and a half years ago. Whose dog is very territorial of you. By the way, the dog is enough for reason to move. It's a girl you used to regularly have sex with. Yeah, who you broke up with two and a half years ago. Whose dog is very territorial of you. By the way, the dog is enough for reason to move out. The dog is like, they're fucking, they're fucking, they're fucking. Yeah. All right, that's fucking.

Starting point is 01:34:16 You wanted crazy, we kind of. Wild. That was all just warming up. You have a couple more to throw at our friend K to hear, Elders? Let's hear him. Yeah, here's another kind of crazy one My girls like yo

Starting point is 01:34:36 Somebody just sent me a naked picture of you and a girl on Instagram And I'm like what because Because you know I'm not cheating. So she's like yeah they sent it and then they uh completed it like right away and I was like okay apparently there was like a long ass paragraph that went with it and I was like all right so uh what was like can you tell me anything about like what it looked like or like you know like what was like, can you tell me anything about what it looked like? Or like, what was like, what can you see? So basically, you know that. From the information I got, I figured out this was a girl that I dated kind of off and on back in the day. Crazy ass bitch. So yeah, man.

Starting point is 01:35:22 Basically, I guess she like fucking said like a fucking screenshot of a sex tape my girl like on Instagram like a different account and like That's tough. Yeah, I mean that's weird. I don't know like should I like It's like on the one hand like, you know That's the issue of like damn there's like news floating around. I got to know she had this like I've deleted everything on my end so like you know long since so like I don't like that's kind of concerning that she would just like send that out there. Yeah it's weird.

Starting point is 01:36:00 I get whatever I guess but like you know. It is a legal kind of move. I calm down my girl every day so I talked to her and I was like yo like this is who this is Like this isn't reason like yada yada she's super cool about it I have my fricken like sister come in who knows us both I'm like off her down but anyway So yeah long story short Do I look at long story short

Starting point is 01:36:21 So what do I do do I go to this Uh crazy ex about this And be like yo like Testify? No. No. That's exactly what she wants. Yeah. So is he saying that he didn't know she had a sex tape in sense of They both had it and they he thought they deleted it or he didn't know she recorded it. I'm guessing He thinks it was deleted But could be the other one as well If it's the other one you if you wanted to you could call the probably cops on that

Starting point is 01:37:02 That's they're not allowed to do that. Yeah. Yeah, they won't do shit But yeah, yeah, yeah the police the police are really gonna be Certainly send it over we could take a look at Do you have ones where you're not as prominently featured it's kind of her you see your kids more They're like, yeah Just for me now were you ever wearing a maybe police officers uniform in any of these pornography could you send that one over you do you do gotta commend this guy because it sounds like he kept it so

Starting point is 01:37:35 cool and collected when his girl came at him and he was just you know she's probably freaking out he's just like well what did it say what was the contents of this image yes you know I and like I'm of two minds here right one I'd like to say this a good guy who something weird happened to him to this is a liar who's using our show as a way to put on record like babe look I even when I was talking to the podcast about it I really feel like we do get some calls that are I wouldn't lie to Stavros. You think I'd launder my image through Stavros' podcast? I really feel like we do get some calls that are someone trying to go on the record in a third way.

Starting point is 01:38:11 Yes, I've watched clips and gone, that guy's just, this is evidence. But I don't think this is that. I agree with you, Aldis. This is kind of the way to handle something. You're like, I know I'm not doing anything wrong, so can we please together get to the bottom of what is going on here now? It's also unfortunately a great tactic to gaslight But I do take him at his word and hopefully his sister is a good person not someone who would just aid in a in a Get I don't think that's a family of gaslighters. Yeah

Starting point is 01:38:44 My brother never does anything wrong. He's an angel. So I mean, but what was the ex trying to even say? Like, why delete it? That I don't get. Why'd she delete the message right after she sent it to her? What's the I feel like information is being left out I mean I guess if we're gonna again take him in his word that is somebody who's

Starting point is 01:39:11 just kind of maliciously doing this yeah to fuck with his to fuck with him and look he's she might be this person you know he called her crazy bitch whatever he also we don't know the level of how it ended He said he cut her off. It was on again off again Yeah, there's certainly relationships that in your mind you handled a lot better than you actually did in reality So this this is probably a mix of he Mistreated her a bit, but not enough to warrant doing something like this right This is kind of like somebody is, you know.

Starting point is 01:39:46 Years later this is? Years later it sounds like. What's the fucking point? I mean, you know, who knows, right? And the delete, why did she delete it? Maybe because, you know, she didn't want the evidence or the scrutiny for him to be like, oh, this is from. Yeah, as you can see, I didn't have my tattoo yet.

Starting point is 01:40:03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is clearly. I hadn't done my cover yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is clearly. I hadn't done my cover up. I hadn't done my cover up yet. Yeah, I think that if we are taking you at your word, definitely don't reach out. Definitely don't. Definitely don't reach out, potentially block.

Starting point is 01:40:16 Like this is the kind of thing where you don't reach out to the person directly ever. Ever. And if it continues to be a problem, you go to a lawyer. You don't ever try and handle this with somebody who if we're talking About somebody who's potentially leaking new like doing this is a wrench porn essentially Yeah, and like you do not deal with them at all especially if it's somebody who clearly wants some kind of reaction Right is trying to fuck your shit up

Starting point is 01:40:38 So yeah, dude don't reach out don't reach out and if it keeps going on That's when you consider a lawyer or I guess the police even though They're not obviously gonna do anything about it. But yeah lawyer is your better bet in that circumstance Don't you do not reach out to this person wild move ever again. No, certainly not This Yes, what up gay Ravens, baby. Let's fucking get a box that she's About all that My mother-in-law wants me to call her mom. I think that's a little bit weird The first time I ever met my mother-in-law I said, oh I looked at her, I was like, oh, if my wife, if the girl I'm dating

Starting point is 01:41:28 looks like you in 50 years, I'm stoked. So I'm not saying like that. But I want to fuck his mother-in-law. Yeah, that's it. That's what we're running into here. He's basically like, this is too directly Freudian for me. To call an older woman I wanna fuck mom. I don't want to close the door just in case something happens to my wife. Oh that's fucking awesome. Respect for giving us that. First of all it was weird already. You didn't have to let us know that you kind of want to fuck this lady.

Starting point is 01:41:58 I'm stoked. I'm stoked. Alright what else we got? So I'm not saying like sexual feelings We get you I don't know It's weird, but like Basically, I'm under some pressure to call her mom She wants me to say it but like that's's weird my mom's also still alive and well and I'm in my it wouldn't be hold on 33 and It wouldn't be less weird if your mom was dead

Starting point is 01:42:38 So I don't need a replacement My mom's in the dirt. Yes. Like that's fucking, you thinking that's weird. There's a lot going on here. That's how my mom dies, lady. Look Barbara, when my mom dies and you get a little less sexy,

Starting point is 01:42:58 hopefully it's in eight years, you know, you've let yourself go a little bit. Maybe. We can talk. We can think about it. 33 and I just Think it's kind of weird. Okay. It is but also like my wife's not exactly going to bat for me on this one and like Not being like, you know mom that's strange. I'm just like It's a little odd for me personally. I love some context here

Starting point is 01:43:28 I don't know context you like all through it. It's like this is odd Love an expert. Love you guys You're right you said the phrase that unites the whole podcast yeah Yeah, yeah from Baltimore what if you tried out like a ma mmm cuz I know my dad calls my I'm like thinking about my dad calls my or called rest in peace my mom's mom ma yeah cuz it's you know you're not gonna say like Matilda yeah ma I mean that's so fucking quick what like Once you've been married for a while

Starting point is 01:44:08 I think it's normal, but I guess maybe he's just saying it's too early the insistence upon it is It's like okay, she said that to me twice, and then we'd get past it But if she was like hey, and you should call me call me mom She's not coming out a low low cut top. Yeah, no bra. You can see your nipples should call me mom. She's coming out low cut top. No bra, you can see her nipples. She's like, call me mom. Mommy's fine. Yeah, or mommy.

Starting point is 01:44:30 Mommy, you're nasty. Yeah, yeah, start calling her mommy. Here's the thing, you gotta fight through this. Up the stakes. You want to just call her? Alpha the alpha. She's like, mommy. Mommy.

Starting point is 01:44:40 Hey, mommy. Mama. I mean, it is, okay, so let's break this down step by mommy. Mama. I mean it is, okay, so Let's break this down step by step. Yeah. The insistence is very weird. Yeah. What do people traditionally do? I don't even know.

Starting point is 01:44:56 I'm trying to think through, I feel like I I know, I mean Dan and I aren't married yet. He calls my parents by their names. I can't picture him ever calling my dad dad. I think that would be wild, especially because his parents are.

Starting point is 01:45:09 Yeah, are you gonna call this guy dad? Yeah. Are you gonna call her husband dad? Hey, mom and dad. I think people do, again, once you've been married for a while and this person has been like a mother figure in your life, then I guess you'd call them mom. But early on, I mean, what if it's the mom,

Starting point is 01:45:29 the mother-in-law, trying to, she's picking up that you'd fuck her, and she's trying to establish a boundary. Call me mother so we can get this. Or maybe she's moving the ball forward a little bit. We need to know if dad is in the picture or not. That would clear things up for us,. Yeah, I do find it weird. Here's what I think is the weirdest aspect of all this. Why your wife doesn't have

Starting point is 01:45:51 your back here, right? If you tell your wife like, honestly, it's a little weird for me. I can't see myself being the kind of guy that calls my mother-in-law mom. Can you talk to your mom about this or can we kind of like, can you kind of give me a little advice on how you think I should, you know your mom, like what's his wife's vibe on this? That's the part that's confusing me the most, right? Because an inflexible mother-in-law, unfortunately, it's an archetype, but it's also an archetype for a reason, right?

Starting point is 01:46:21 Yes, quite a bit. There is often in laws, it's a reason why it's like the most, across all cultures, you wanna safe target? In-laws. Yeah, pick in-laws if you don't wanna be racist or homophobic, right? Like, if you don't wanna just go to the, if you don't wanna be offensive, you wanna just be,

Starting point is 01:46:40 you know, something that can be on network TV that'll play in every country across the world in laws is who you make fun of right first stuff like this they have weird little hangups that you don't want to do but you have to put up with them because they're your you know spouse's parents I do find it strange your wife does not have your back here or at least isn't kind of like my lay off of him yeah like call you mom when he's ready. He's gonna be around for the rest of our lives, hopefully. I would just try to say, like, hey, I'm gonna call you mom. Something about it for me, I'm not really there yet.

Starting point is 01:47:13 Would it be okay if I get there on my own time? That's what I would say. And then she's like, what would it take to get you on that? Show me those tits and I'll start calling you mommy. She starts counting you down. She's like, what about in 10? Nine. Tits she starts counting you down. What about? Yeah, I don't know man, this is fucking strange, but I agree I think Katie I We just don't know enough about these people, right? Yeah. Cause like-

Starting point is 01:47:45 I do like Katie's ma idea, like do they have a motherly nickname for her within the family that you can sort of like adopt? Right. Cause mom is like too specific. Mom is fucked up, dude. Yeah, is there a ma, is there like a, I don't know, like, or even like any nickname they might have for her? Yeah, yeah. I think that's a nice little copper families often have like family nicknames You know my grandma we would call a Hiona that was like her like

Starting point is 01:48:11 It was like her nickname in her family growing up because she's very pale and it means snow Well, and so they're you know, like she basically your grandmother did inform her. Oh, yes She was big in the white reggae community. But yeah, some kind of middle ground, some kind of family thing that connotes closeness, but isn't like, doesn't have the loaded in every direction. Mom is, you know, mom, mommy, dad, daddy, those are loaded terms.

Starting point is 01:48:44 In ways. Psychologically in many ways. And I would stay away from it. You know mom mommy dad daddy. Those are loaded terms in in psycho Psychologically in many ways and I would stay away from it. You're really socially adept I feel like you could even introduce a fun new nickname for her that she loves That then replaces in her mind the need for you to call her mom So you could just be like hey big G and she's like oh, that's great And then that turns out and then the whole thing goes away. It never comes up again Yeah, it isn't think I think that's a great one. That is a high that's a high like level maneuver

Starting point is 01:49:12 Yes, you would have to really make it not obvious you were trying to replace the mom thing She can't catch on yeah, but it's just gonna happen. That's really you're getting it's got a catch fire It's gonna be a good nickname. Yeah, absolutely. But that's what I would try. That's tough though. What you're describing is really tough. It is, yes I know. It's only for the high level.

Starting point is 01:49:30 Yeah, so, you know, good luck. I don't think he has that in him, unfortunately. Just from the minute 35 we spent. I believe in you, fuck the Yankees. He did say fuck the Yankees. He did say fuck the Yankees. He's got a good head on his shoulders. That is some good common ground on this.

Starting point is 01:49:42 And who doesn't wanna fuck their mother-in-law? Yeah. Just a little bit. Just to see how it feels. Well that's honestly the thing I'm thinking of is like what is her vibe? Because that also is another archetype is the kind of milfy sort of seem like the weirdest woman in the world to me is the one who seems to have a competition with her daughter. It's a lot of women. And That's a crazy amount of people where it's like, they're sort of trying to cuck their, like is that what's going on here? When she insists you call her mom,

Starting point is 01:50:13 is she touching you physically? Yeah. That to me is the tell. She's like, hey, call me mom. Yeah, yeah, the little thumb waggle. She gives you a thumb waggle, that's too much. She's insisting. But is, or is she doing it from a, now she's doing it from a call me mom. She's doing

Starting point is 01:50:29 it from a purely sort of like almost grandmotherly perspective. Then that's the only way I would consider folding. Right. If she's so if you but we already know that's not the case because he wants to fuck her. So never mind. Never mind. Just figure this out. Try the nickname thing. Give her a nickname or just Ma. Ma. Try Mother and that'll just put her off to it. Yeah, Mother. Mother's fun. Hello Mother. She's gonna hate that. So that's...

Starting point is 01:50:52 And again, what's going on with you? That's another thing I wonder is like... What's up with your wife? Why isn't she on your side? You're gonna come up with stuff that's more serious than this. Yeah. Even within the family. And if she can't kind of... If you guys can't be a united front on call me mom, what happens

Starting point is 01:51:09 when there's some weird like, you know, like legal battle within the family? You know what I mean? Like some kind of inheritance. Right. The will and testament. You know what I mean? Like who knows? Whatever.

Starting point is 01:51:21 I hope it doesn't happen, but something to consider. Also very common. Yeah. Happens, unfortunately. You got something fun for us to go out on here little LD? Hey Stavi baby, big fan loved your show in Portland when you came out here in March. Anyways listen man with the baseball season going on I like was born and raised a Mariners fan, but you know, like they suck. So I decided like this year,

Starting point is 01:51:53 I was gonna break up with them, like it's a toxic relationship and then start rooting for the Orioles. So I became an O's fan this season. But now- No, wait, no. He's just saying it like it's normal, like we're gonna breeze past the like, they suck so I broke up with them.

Starting point is 01:52:11 Orioles fan now. Here's my question. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How'd you pick the Orioles? What a weird choice if you're trying to get out of toxicity. I guess in a weird way, because what you don't want to do is do the classic,'m a Yankee Red Sox whatever fan now like I'm not I'm like a I'm like a big Historically successful like you don't want to be the guys like you break up with your small market team You're like I root for the Lakers now. I love the Chiefs. Yeah exactly right so I guess I could now

Starting point is 01:52:41 This is just a man who doesn't know his history though because the Orioles have had a couple good seasons. We've choked in the playoffs both times and I guess you could be like, okay They were which there's a world where you could be like they're a young team that was getting it together They got they've been embarrassed a couple times. They're gonna come roaring back. Yeah, I'm gonna be on the ground floor of this thing That's the own and they're not you know, they haven't won in forever, you know fun city what you know fun ballpark I want to go to Camden Yards, whatever the fuck maybe that's how he came to it. But Brother I need to know where he is geographically. Yeah true true true. What a weird choice You can barely it's gonna be a huge trip to get out to a game unless they

Starting point is 01:53:25 Stop in Portland. Yeah Barely, it's gonna be a huge trip to get out to a game unless they come Portland Maybe the teams in there like division he hates too much so maybe like anything on the west coast kind of was like sure you but We don't need to fuck We can bleep. Well, it doesn't matter We don't even know that that's just fucking... Anyway, whatever. Elders is just fucking stupid.

Starting point is 01:53:48 So anyway, yeah. They fucking suck. I don't know what that's about. And it's really, really hurting. And I'm wondering, like, how do I go back to being like, maybe a Mariners fan? Or like, do what? I don't know. It just doesn't feel right being an O's fan right now.

Starting point is 01:54:04 Like, they suck. They're going to be like, oh, they suck. like oh maybe a Mariners fan or like do what I don't know it just doesn't feel right being a nose fan right now like they suck there goes your theory about getting into the ground level I don't know what to do I think that's what he was doing one season? break your heart

Starting point is 01:54:20 first of all shut the fuck up this year he decided this year he broke up with the Marathons. How fucking dare you, dude? We aren't even through to the, we're not even at the All-Star break. Yeah, they could still turn it around, by the way. You fucking asshole. This is the thing that people always forget about baseball,

Starting point is 01:54:37 is you try to get back into baseball and you take it way too seriously, way too early. Yeah, oh yeah. You don't just go like, dude, we have so much time. People are gonna change teams. She's gonna go down. I still remember. 2007, You don't just go like, dude, we have so much time. It's a marathon. People are gonna change teams. She's gonna go down. I still remember, 2007, my senior year of high school, the Orioles were leading the AL East at the break,

Starting point is 01:54:51 and we didn't even make the fucking playoffs. Yeah, it means absolutely nothing. So your willingness to bail this early, to me, alarms me. Yes. Alarms me. You know, so fuck you, what do you mean? Yeah, you barely were in this

Starting point is 01:55:06 Why did you even choose it now? Could you go back the Mariners? Yes, and but now you have to stay with the Maris forever This is like For they don't it's not going great, you know, but they're it's like before I mean, I don't know I'm a I'm a very cat. Look, I am a casual baseball fan for sure Right, like I watch I will throw an O's game on in the background Yeah, that's what it's for by the way baseball is the best background like I don't want to be completely silent But I want to you know, just I'll catch that I'll watch highlights when I'm home I try and go to a game if they're in the playoffs and I've been

Starting point is 01:55:43 You know, I've been working but I was planning this year to go to playoff games We'll see but like, you know, I'm that level of fan and the thing is They've been and I was a big fan when I was a little kid. So like So there is there is something in me that when the Orioles start making runs I pay more attention and when they win then you know, I think it'll happen It's gonna be that much sweeter and that's the whole thing with the Mariners, right? Like and I have I had a thing I had something kind of similar this in terms of like

Starting point is 01:56:15 We know when I moved to New York ten years ago Baltimore doesn't have a basketball team the Knicks exactly like Baltimore doesn't have a basketball team It's not you didn't just pick out a team on the opposite side of the country. I moved here. I loved, I always loved New York. You didn't have a basketball team. Didn't have a basketball team growing up.

Starting point is 01:56:33 You weren't replacing somebody. Yeah, exactly. So, but even for me, it's like, I feel like I've put in already 10 years of being a Knicks fan. I watched Chris Stapp's poor Zingas get drafted at an open mic on the Lower East Side. I was at the game where he fuckin' tears his ACL.

Starting point is 01:56:51 The last game he played as a Knicks fan, as a Knicks member of the Knicks, I was at that one. I watched the first Knicks home playoff win during the COVID season against the Hawks. I went to fuckin' games, you know, I've been to a lot of them, right? I feel like I've put my time in. You saw that loss, let's not forget the loss

Starting point is 01:57:09 you just saw to the Pacers. You know, the most devastating sporting event I've ever been to in my life. Like I'm just getting over now. And if we hadn't made that awesome comeback, I would want to fucking blow my brains out. But I feel like I've put in my time. Yes.

Starting point is 01:57:22 And I fully feel like I've, you know, earned, being a I fully feel like I've you know earned being a Knicks fan Whatever you're not a fucking Orioles. No at all, dude You know what I mean? Like I've sat through the heart when I was a kid We had great teams that always got fucking smoked You know and then we were just dog shit and then you know the couple times we flirted with The you know, we lose to the fucking you know Machado gets hurt we lose to Kansas City and we just haven't ever been back in a real way in the playoff since you fucking have been been around for you know two months and you're

Starting point is 01:57:55 talking about this sucks cold weather baseball we're not even warm yeah what the fuck are you talking about you can't be this mad you can't here's what I'm gonna say if it said if you asked what, which you did, what do I do? Do I just like go back to being a Mariners fan? My best advice to you, honestly, is yes. Absolutely. Get over whatever this was. It was just a little dalliance.

Starting point is 01:58:15 This is like cheating on your wife twice? Exactly, you like thought about cheating. This is like you were entertaining. And you're like, what have I done? You were emotionally, yeah. My children, and you hide this. Yes. You never, you fucking burn whatever owes, were emotionally, yeah. And you hide this. Yes. You never, you fucking burn whatever owes,

Starting point is 01:58:27 you haven't even bought memorabilia yet. No chance, no chance. Yes. You just go back and forget about this, atone for your sins. Atone for your sins. Buy a new jersey. Give yourself fully to the Mariners.

Starting point is 01:58:38 Yeah, get a Julio Rodriguez jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then get out there, and then when the Mariners win, you're gonna laugh to yourself about like thank God I didn't remember when I was gonna jump ship. How much does that suck? You jump ship the team wins without you and you're like, okay That's the thing right you have to realize this what you're feeling now

Starting point is 01:58:59 Imagine how much worse it would be if it's four years later The O still haven't been good and the Mariners start putting it together And then all of your I don't know friends if you grew up with friends that were all Mariners fans are all Celebrating how good the Mariners are and you have to be like I picked the O's and then you try and come back and they Will never never I wouldn't if they like you and we're friends They're not a friend like that fight an O like a friend of mine It was like cheering for the fucking like white socks or some shit I mean another horrible team obviously but like whatever if they and then the O's got good and they were like, oh, hey guys

Starting point is 01:59:31 You would never let them hear the end. Yeah do what any sensible baseball fan does which is you gotta pick an NL team Yes, have a National League team Have a team that you're like look this isn't my team, but I heavily fuck with them. And when my team's pissing me off, I watch their games instead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Mets were that for me as a kid. And it was almost like, that's also part of the Knicks thing, also part of the like, I've been in Queens for 10 years. They were always, I always, you know, you kind of always knew you wanted to move to New York. I did anyway. So that was always for me, right? When the Mets were, and then you know,

Starting point is 02:00:05 and it was cool because, I mean, they fucking lost to the Yankees, but when the Mets are in the Subway Series, I get to root against the Yankees. It was awesome. So it's like, maybe that's what you wanna do. You wanna pick something where it's like, who is the like, you know,

Starting point is 02:00:20 the, your biggest rivals, like, and now who would they hate the most to be in the World Series and maybe. But you're so right. How do you not have an NL? Yeah, you just pick an NL team. That's crazy. The win that's the generation of us all. I feel like the Braves were very popular in the sense because of TBS. So I know a lot of people have like the Braves are their secondary team.

Starting point is 02:00:41 The Cubs run a lot. I feel like they were bad, but but the Cubs, I feel like we're on a lot as well. Yeah, you just got to have another team. You just got run a lot, I feel like, well, but they were bad, but the Cubs I feel like were on a lot as well. Yeah. You just gotta have another team. You just gotta have teams you root for. I think, don't be crazy about your fandom in the sense that you think you can't like another team.

Starting point is 02:00:53 Totally. You can watch as many teams as you want to. Yeah. I just don't think, I mean, breaking up with your team and then giving up on your new team after a couple weeks is crazy. You are so right. It's a dalliance. It's, it's a, you know, you went on, you, you're on the sugar baby website. You're on Ashley Madison.

Starting point is 02:01:11 You made the account. You went on a date, maybe you got your dick rubbed through your jeans, but nothing more has happened. Now you can still turn back. Go back to your wife. You can still turn back, but you're getting, you know. Give yourself to your marriage. Yes, yes, yes. You know, get her flowers. Have a bow renewal know give yourself to your marriage. Yes. Yes. Yes, you know

Starting point is 02:01:25 Get a bow in your ceremony Fix it dude fix it cuz your emails got leaked on Ashley Madison And we're all gonna see that you were on there, so yeah, and we don't want you by the way fuck you, dude We're gonna fucking turn around it's early a lot of talent in this ball club last place three game win streak last game. We're getting there That's all that's all we'll take All right. Well listen. I think that's gonna do it Katie. Thank you so much for being here Thank you for having me. It was so fun. I had a blast plug the show where else can people see you? Oh casuals. It's twice a week Tuesdays and Thursdays wherever you get your audio podcast. We're not on YouTube yet

Starting point is 02:02:01 Please don't scream at me It's through SiriusXM. You do film it. I know, I know. You do? But the editing of the video, we don't have enough people. Sirius is an audio company, and I'm in this partnership with them for a little bit.

Starting point is 02:02:16 So I would like it to focus on, all their stuff is audio numbers based. I mean, I also think audio, I mean video obviously is important, but you guys are doing clips, you're doing the stuff that matters. Yeah, for discoverability. We'll get there.

Starting point is 02:02:26 You'll get there. It's just we're not there yet. Yeah, you'll get there. Great show, very fun. Thank you. You don't need Sirius to listen to it. You get it wherever you get your podcasts. A ton of different, you have a really interesting

Starting point is 02:02:35 like mix of guests where it's not just, you know, it's not just like other sports personalities. It's like, it is athletes, it's comedians, it's just, it's interesting people, so check it out, great show. I did the first one, you can see me lose my shit. I'm really sad, we had just lost in the playoffs. And I made it so that Katie can say fuck on her own show.

Starting point is 02:02:57 Thanks to me. He said it a hundred times. I mean, I said it a lot. And I think I said like, you know, Josh Allen can suck my dick. I think I was pretty graphic. Yes, but like this did come up Which I do like Josh actually it's hard to respect him so much because he is good But doesn't mean he can't suck your dick. He can also still suck my dick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck the bills

Starting point is 02:03:20 This is our year, baby. The Ravens are fucking taking it all Go watch casuals. Listen listen to Casuals, and we will see you next time, guys. Bye-bye.

Your Ad Here

Stavvy's World - #134 - Katie Nolan

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.