Stavvy's World - #135 - Ali Siddiq

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Ali Siddiq joins the pod to discuss his new specials MY TWO SONS and RUGGED, how comics would be feeling themselves after getting on ComicView, why his daughter will be spoiled, his prison run-in with NFL player Dexter Manley, his dad being a smooth ladies man, his scary uncles, and much more. Ali and Stav help callers including a guy wondering if he should tell his friend that his fiancee is cheating on him, and a guy who plans on breaking up with his girlfriend but wants to wait after they take a planned vacation together. Watch Ali Siddiq’s specials MY TWO SONS, RUGGED, and much more at his Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@AliSiddiqComedy Follow Ali Siddiq and see him live: https://alisiddiq.com/ https://www.instagram.com/alisiddiq/ https://www.facebook.com/ali.siddiq.92/ https://x.com/Ali_Speaks https://www.youtube.com/@AliSiddiqComedy  https://www.tiktok.com/@thealisiddiq  Get 20% off your first 6 months of Open Phone by visiting https://www.openphone.com/perks/stavvy Visit Cornbread Hemp at https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/stavvy and use code STAVVY for 30% off your first order and enjoy free shipping on orders over $75. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Watch LET'S START A CULT on Hulu: https://www.hulu.com/movie/lets-start-a-cult-1f157c44-3840-4f01-8863-bb6afa472a0b ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Kingston Buskers Rendezvous is back! Starting July 10th, come to Downtown Kingston for this crowd-wowing festival and enjoy four days of jugglers, musicians, acrobats, comedians and more. Talented performers from all over the world can't wait to entertain you all weekend long. It all starts on Thursday July 10th with performances right in the heart of Downtown Kingston. And don't miss Buskers After Dark, the Friday Night Fire Show. For more information, go to downtownkingston.ca. Hello, everybody. We have an incredible show coming up for you right now

with the great Ali Sadiq, one of the best comics working today, maybe the best storyteller in stand-up comedy currently. You're gonna love the episode. He was great on the show. Just wanted to let you know, we are gonna be on the road a bunch coming to the UK and Ireland in September.

We're talking Manchester, we're talking London, Glasgow. Then also Dublin, of course, how could I forget? Let's not forget coming back stateside, Memphis, Huntsville, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Asheville, Greensboro, North Carolina, Wilmington, Myrtle Beach, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Asheville, Greensboro, North Carolina, Wilmington, Myrtle Beach, Austin, and Boston, and we are adding more shows. Believe me, don't worry. More shows are coming.

Go right now to stavvy.biz to get your tickets. Can't wait to see you there. So fun. And now let's start the show. Welcome everybody to Stavvy's World. 904-800-STAV. start the show. Man, I gotta work so much harder than this will do I'll do one special every two years I'm like this guy's doing shit that I'm like people are crying. They're laughing. You're moving people I'm like damn do I even do the same art form?

I just talk about my dick being small for about half of it and being too fat the other half so I love Your shit is that I mean truly dude It's like nobody's doing what you're doing on the like on YouTube and like with your specials and so we're so so happy to have you here I'm a bit we're huge fans here for sure thank you thank you thank you yeah you got a special right now that just came out like a couple weeks ago probably my two sons yeah 4 million already so yeah it's moving I every time everybody I talked to my YouTube's dead don't even bother putting a special up, and then I check your shit and you got eight million

on like that, on some film with like one camera, it looks like security camera footage, like this, he just did a special in the lobby of a fucking, you're doing theaters, you're like, yeah, let's just do another one for fun, let's do one at a club, it's incredible what you're doing, man, for real, so. That's actually what happened, we had did

all these other specials and then we had some footage and We was looking at it. It's like this is pretty structured Don't get used to that you were not getting if you'reros Agis fan, do not expect that kind of production. We are taking our time with this special, man. Yeah, no, dude. And I love, I mean, you know, you have so many of them, but the domino effect, so great. A four part special that's like six hours almost, like the whole thing. And your life story is incredible.

I mean, you know, I don't want to go check Go check out Lee stuff out. But you know, we'll just talk about you from Houston Yes, sir and the whole thing I mean I love the domino effect because it takes you essentially from like childhood into When you come out of prison, which is like, you know, yeah such a such a beautiful arc to the whole thing. So But yeah, Houston. I mean we're big fans of Houston too. We love it. It's a great city, man.

It is. Yeah. I don't think I would live anywhere else. You know, I still stay there. Yeah. And I'm so anti moving anywhere else. Yeah, why do it? If the place you're from is cool,

like, you know, I'm from Baltimore, I love Baltimore, but it's like, first of all, my family from Baltimore. I love Baltimore, but it's like First of all, my family's there which I love but I like being four hours is nice Four hours in a car is the perfect distance from your family an emergency happens. I'm in the rav4 I'm there but my mom can't just pop over. You know what I mean? My dad can't annoy me You know what I mean? It's like they are far enough away where I literally went down yesterday for the day and I did like I Checked off a visit to everybody, my dad, my mom, my brothers. I'm looking at the back.

Yeah. You Greek? I'm Greek, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'll be going to Greece. Oh hell yeah. From July. Oh nice dude.

I'll be going to Greece. Where you going? You got the trip figured out? Like three islands I think y'all are going to. Yeah, we got a lot more but yeah Like three the big one. Yeah, no Greece is the best I'm going because this is the place where I can wear speedo and yeah No one is yeah, everyone's gonna be like nice dude that guy's crushed it they might call you Obama That's the thing Greek racism is like nice.

It's like they just, their favorite, if they see a black person, they'll just say their favorite black person. They might come up to you and be like, LeBron. You know, that's like, they'll say some shit like that to you. I was there with an ex-girlfriend and we were having, you know,

we're breaking up on the trip. It's horrible. And then, but then I just, this like, like, like stately older couple right like this black dude Black couple and they're like you know in their 50s And they really look like he looks like a senator or something right and the guy just won't stop the Greek waiter does not know Any English won't stop calling him Obama They're ruining this vacation, but I'm like alright. it's making me laugh while I'm breaking up with my girlfriend

in a beautiful island, so they might hit you that. Can you break up in Greece? I didn't think you could, Ali. I was in this thing, and like, I heard about Greece. Like, can you break up in Greece? That's what I was when you date a rich girl. Like, I grew up poor. I was like, we're going to Greece.

She can't say anything. I mean, I'm the man for bringing her to Greece, but when someone's family is, her parents have taken her to like, every place you can imagine, so to me, this is a big deal to her, it's like, she's annoyed, she can't, you know, she's missing out on New York, we're two different worlds, I fucked up.

Now you're making me think, is this what my daughters are gonna be like? Yeah, unfortunately, that is the problem with success, your kids end up being like, ugh. I don't want my children to know what ramen is, like real ramen is, until they're 25. You know what I mean? Like, it's gotta be packaged.

Oh no, they, I think I'm a healthy mix in between well to do and not well to do. Sure, sure, sure. I was on another podcast and guy was like, well to do and you know, not well to do. I was on another podcast and guy was like, yo Ali, are you bougie or are you regular? I said, okay, I heard exactly what you said. But I was listening but I wasn't listening because I'm actually sitting inside my Bentley

and all I can think about is shooting these squirrels that eat my apples. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Off my tree. Absolutely. And I'm sitting there like, the pellet gun that I just bought is in the trunk. Like why? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I just can't wait to get out of this vodka

so I can shoot these squirrels I'm going squirrel hunting. I'm finna have a trash bag full of bodies. You still have it in you. Yeah I still have it. Yeah, you do but unfortunately, I think you are how many how many kids you have because I know a plethora Yeah That's how I describe it. Maybe that's smart. This is the plethora That's how I describe it. Maybe that's smart. This is the platinum. Yeah.

And they still, you know, I have a healthy range. They start at 31 and then they go down to four. Wow. That's smart because then you're like, all right, I'm spreading the resources out. So none of you gets to be that rich. You know what I mean? Maybe that's how you'll stop it from them being too bougie. So what's crazy, I only own this Bentley is because I was with my four year old getting

my truck service and she was like, that's a nice car. And I said, well, let's look in it. The dealership is right next to the other dealership. I said, let's just go look at it. And she got in the back and she literally crossed her legs and crossed her hands like, this is nice. Okay, well yeah, she is toast. She's gonna be like my ex.

It's gonna be the worst. Yeah. Sorry, she's done for sure, man. You know, 31 year old probably, they'll be cool. You know what I mean? He is, he is definitely not up across. He's definitely rough around the edges. Before the YouTube ad money came in.

Oh man. Yeah, yeah. Before the, before, almost, he really before the career even, I've been doing stand up 27 years. Okay. So my oldest daughter is 26. My oldest son is 31. Okay. So he is...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. ...the brunt of... Of course. Hey, man, I mean, where do you actually work at? Yeah. Several places. Yeah, what's the little gap between when the career... Because, you know, in the specials, you're talking about how you sort of kind of started doing stand-up entertaining other inmates when you were in prison and it

was like so what's that little gap when the career when you got out before it like really started going off what are you doing I am any this is the in the shadows gives an explanation of how I started in 1997, December the 2nd, and how I go up from there. I was actually 18 months before I was on my first TV show. Wow, holy shit. Which was Comic View, which is 4 minutes and 30 seconds. And then you think that you are exploding after that and then you realize no I don't really like to host.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Absolutely. It was always like a famous guy would be hosting. You know what I mean? He was doing pretty... That was kind of like the farm system where it was like you would... If you do well enough they might bring you back another time and if you have some other shit going on then you get to also host the thing too.

Yeah. If you... If you used to be a going on then you get to also host the thing too yeah if you if you used to be a competition to host then they start making this random stables Bruce Bruce was the host one year Ricky smiley was the host I think Ricky did it twice so they the the three years I was on it was Bruce it was Ricky and Then they had I think it was a weird Year in their way. It was like two hosts. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, because they taped it multiple places That's which we should start falling apart when it was just like no one even give a fuck anymore They're like whatever man you hosted

People would do comic view and then they would come in the club with shades on. And they'd sit down like... I think those shades cost more than you made. I know they do. Oh yeah, those first... I mean I remember my first thing for Comedy Central, it was like four minutes. They were like, oh last year this paid $ thousand dollars, and we did in Hawaii this year It's in Brooklyn. It's four hundred dollars Right I'm like fuck. I was the first. I'm the first generation. They're downsizing this bullshit

It was literally it went from Adam Devine's house party was like the little and they would fly you to Hawaii and the next year They just fucking did it at a like you know one of these And then next year they just fucking did it at like, you know, one of these, somewhere in like Park Slope. It was horrible. I declined Adam Devine's House Party. Yeah, yeah. It didn't, because I had won.

Yeah, you're in a different place by then. You know what I mean? No, I had just won Comedy Central's comic to watch, right? Yeah. And it came with, you know know an album of appearance on one of the comic sister shows and they kept offering me shows and I kept declining yeah yeah yeah what is what's going on this was this guy yeah and then things like well Adam Devine's is a great one you can go go on and he's blowing up. I said, cool. So I watched an episode.

Yeah, not really your sensibility. And then I called back and I'm like, no. Yeah. And one of the guys that did it, Matt Broussard. Oh yeah, I know Matt. He called me, Houston guy. Oh, that's right. He called me and he was like, yo, called me is like yo, yeah, I do it

Yeah, no, man. You were on there exactly I can't think of a more cartoonishly opposite like like also Matt is like the most handsome villian exactly Villian knows Matt he can do like equations in his head He's like kind of guys like when they think about the guy who traps you in a bad contract. It looks like Matt Broussard Matt is like Matt Broussard and then Rocky Del Davis He's on the other side he's on the other camp that's trying to get yours shut down in the movie You know what I mean? It's like we have to stop them from taking over the campground

and he's really got a little fucking sweater wrapped around his neck that's who met bruce art is not i mean are our power brain ward l did that show and he's exactly you and it that's a that's not to show you need to be on but at the time i was fucking i was here i was in this apartment living in the living room with a fake wall eating cereal with fucking water in it So I was I would have killed to be on Adam's house party. That was that's what I was looking for, dude

I remember getting I remember he put eating cinnamon to I was like Oh cinnamon toast crunch is sweet enough that the water you kind of forget It's water and it kind of feels like a dessert and then I posted that and I got like eight calls from people in Baltimore They're like hey man, is shit going that bad in New York? It's pretty good I will say to this day it's kind of like horchata True if you put it in the fridge it actually helps You know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, is a chance at money. You just threw some money down the drain. Let's say you need a plumber.

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those were beautiful we were roommates through the time people just come in and out of work I'm just still in the living room what's up guys just eat the cereal getting high as fuck not doing any not working or anything you know just being like it'll happen then hilariously it happen, but that's not, the odds were not fit in favor of that ever happening. You know what's weird? It's not in favor. In this career, none of it's in favor of us.

No, it's a lottery ticket. It is. It's hilarious. Even if you're funny as shit, the odds are so against you that I just, I legit feel like I won the lottery. It's so stupid. It's like making it to the NFL and Actually being a person that they know. Yes exactly It's 53 people on their team, dude. It's you know, even if it's your team, you only know five people. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And then you look at the numbers It's like the average career is four years and those motherfuckers are making maybe like 400 like them the league minimum now might be 800 K or some shit like that, but it's like Half that's gone depending on where you're playing that's gone on taxes like yeah We had a we had a coach that was that played in the NFL. I think it was the year He was a scab. It was the year they were doing the They had the lockout

and they're like, fuck it, whoever's on the street, we're putting them. He was pretty good though. But yeah, that was like, he was a music teacher and running backs coach at a Baltimore City Public High School. So that's kind of what most of the career leads to. So this is why I don't feel,

like people, I don't ever feel bad about not making it to a certain league because I have been privy to have people who um back playing basketball in middle school. My middle school coach played for the Atlanta Hawks. Wow. But he was our gym coach. played for the Atlanta Hawks. Wow. But he was our gym coach. And that's 12 by the way. The NBA is like it's not the NFL. You know what I mean? In the NFL right? So I'm crazy. I decide I'm gonna get fit and I go to 24 hour fitness in Houston. Mm-hmm. And... Recently, what are we talking about? No, this is years ago. Okay, okay.

I wasn't... I was... We're gonna say 2004. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And I'm in there working out, and I noticed that my trainer... Oh, no, trainer. ...has on a Super Bowl ring.

No! The ring on? He's fucking, he's holding your, making sure your squat form is good and the ring is hitting your back. I said, I said, who did you play for? He was like, the Cowboys. That's what I was saying.

Brutal, in Texas, a ring from the Cowboys. And I rooted against you. Yeah. Now you're my trainer. What happened? Brutal stuff. Yeah, you said you were in when you were in Houston, when you were in prison, there was a player from the, where was he from? He played on the- Dexter Manley. Yeah, Dexter Manley. Not only, that guy was a legend. Yeah.

A legend. Like, this is is it's not my favorite story But it's a good story man that we in the day room. I remember when he got there right they was um If you look at me told me he's like yo There is a monster. Yeah He played the end right? Yeah. Yeah, he's usually like a huge guy and I'm like, okay I'll just pull up some decent fucking producing for Christ sake. So I Walk out of Because we're on the we're on the trustee side. So I walk out

going over by the calf and I'm looking I was like Yeah, yeah, yeah And I'm looking, I was like, is that Dexter Manley? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We from the same neighborhood. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? And I go over, I said, Dexter, he like, what's up?

Man, what's up with this happy ass community? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey man, what's going on? Yeah. So I'm like, yo man, I was telling people, do y'all know who this is? This is Dexter Manley. Yeah, yeah. So then This is Dexter Manley.

So then they moved Dexter Manley from 4 Building to the trustee building, right? And so we're watching television. This is when ABC used to do them things where they talk about sports. And Dexter Manley, they are showing Dexter Manley. And he was like, and when it went off, when it went to commercial and it said, Dexter Manley, they are showing Dexter Manley. And he was like, and when it went off, when it went to commercial and it said,

Dexter Manley, one of the greatest deep d's in the whole league. Yeah, yeah. And this is me, Dexter sitting on the bench behind me. That's brutal by the way. Imagine watching your highlights and you're wearing like, you know. And I turned so slow They think index is about to kill me yeah, I mean

Gentle soul man. He got up and went to his bunk It was so crazy that I had to go upstairs. I was like, yo, man, you need to go talk to Dexter. I'm like, I'm not going to talk to Dexter. And I went up and I sat on the edge of his bunk. I said, he was facing me. And I was like, Dex, I was just messing with you, man. And Dexter, I can always do like, Dex, I was just messing with you, man. Yeah.

And Dexter, I can only do like, Dexter was looking at me like this, and he turned his back like this. No, you wasn't. I did. I did. I did. Yo, man, you gotta come to the cafeteria. We gotta walk in here, because you making me, people mad at me.

You heard Dexter Manley's feelings Seems like a pretty cool pretty all things considered the fact they're like hey check in with Dexter Let's work through this as a community Honestly pretty good. You don't hear those stories about prison, where it's like you have to talk it out with a football legend. Man, he definitely going to Hall of Fame. Yeah, yeah.

Man, Dexter was, Dexter was. And then I saw him. What did he do? What was he in for? Like, what did he do? He was drugged. He was on the drug related. Dexter's in a better space now for sure.

And I always be asking people is, you know, because you don't keep up a lot. Of course. You're like, is he still alive? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always ask myself, is he still alive? I mean, NFL players, the odds aren't good. You know what I mean? When you're that, I mean, the whole thing is you fuck your body up. Hollywood Henderson was locked up and he won a lottery twice. Wow. You know how I mean when you're that I mean the whole thing is you fuck your body up Hollywood Henderson was locked up and he won a lottery twice Wow, you know how crazy it is. Do you win a lottery? Like you won a lottery two times

Henderson yeah, it's like people look him up Hollywood Henderson won the lottery Great name. Like, how do you, how do you, look. 28 million, holy fuck. He had previously spent 20,000 on lotteries. Oh, so he was a, he was kind of trying to game the system. Did he often plays with the jackpot, he sees 20 million.

He purchased the winning ticket of pharmacy in Austin. That's wild. To go from like, at a Super Bowl winner to prison to two lotteries that is that's some high highs and some low lows I respect that he's won like a bunch that's crazy to win a lottery most people don't ever win a lot he's going twice my grandfather was addicted to the lottery he won maybe eight hunt the equivalent of $800 he played the lottery every fucking day in Greece to the point where he was using all his like the equivalent of his Social Security it went to exotic birds and the

lottery he collected birds in a shitty little balcony in Athens covered in bird shit you know just like would fuck everything up and he just played the lottery he would go into the he was like a junk guy he would like check out that he was a big hoarder but he literally he wanted truly he wanted one time for essentially eight hundred dollars I mean talk about he did not have Hollywood Henderson's luck I'll tell you that is eight hundred dollars is a cockatiel absolutely it went to some pills to make a fucking to make a parrot's coat shiny.

Yeah. Yeah, they were in a, and he's, you know, my, my grandparents were in a, uh, arranged marriage. So this like old school, like, you know, villager shit. And they hated each, and it was literally like, he wouldn't let my grandma put the fucking lights on. He was like, you're wasting money. And then he would just put all the money in bird feed. He would buy high-end bird feed and he's eating like canned sardines that's the kind of guy he was what's wrong with uh just regular sunflower seeds yeah i think they would have been fine either way shout out to Stavros Halkeis who i'm named after that's that's my because i've been thinking when you when you feed animals like this high-end food but you see healthier animals that don't have anybody looking after them.

Like what are they eating? It's the rich child kid who had to scrap. That's basically it. The animals were just figuring out that's you. And the high-end feed is like your kids. You know what I mean? So you gotta do a little sprinkling of like struggle in there, I think.

I think that's what and I truly believe it This is what my children Miss like struggle like my my 14 year old son He doesn't His mind is like struggle. Yeah, I've heard of that word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a concept It's a concept not not a lived experience his struggle is do I want a dozen oysters or do I? Should I get the ones from Long Island or should I do a West Coast oyster today?

And I'm upset because they're not actually charred like I like them. That's his struggle, man. Seabass a flounder. That's weird. And I tell them all the time that it was different for me, you know. And I hear these other guys, my kids, my kids my kids struggle I make my kids so I have them do chores for real for real mm-hmm like for it's not no struggle is everybody has to be going through they want right you're how do you make manufactured

struggles not real struggles yeah how do you make your kids struggle in a seven thousand square foot home? Yeah. What's the struggle? I know what you mean. My struggle is I look at them steps and I'm not going up there. That's maybe the reason to move. That's what I love about New York is like I was looking for apartments and I've had a couple good years and it's just like kind of dog shit. Whereas the amount of of money I spent, like rich kids here actually have like fucked up, you know, like the neighbor's toilet might might fucking leak into your shit. You know what I mean? Like in the in the train you're seeing homeless, you

know what I mean? Like homeless people. People are beating off in front of rich people the same way they're beating off in front of poor people on the train in New York. So there is some real struggles here that you're not gonna get in a beautiful suburban Texas mansion, you know what I mean? I don't have to see people if I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like the pandemic, when doing the pandemic,

I know it was rough for y'all doing the pandemic. It was brutal. I was like outside. Yeah, you had greens to tend to. I have no idea. I'm not wearing a mask. I'm not wearing a mask. Yeah, you're driving a golf cart to other parts of your house. Meanwhile, I had a roommate until two years ago, and I'm successful. You know what I mean? Like, let alone...

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out that's cornbread hemp dot com slash Stavi code Stavi cornbread hemp this is the good life but is it is it hard though i mean that is that is a real thing of like connecting when you're like because i struggle just connecting with my dad who we just have a language barrier barrier right like I mean I speak Greek, but he fully it just were from two different places He grew up in Greece, and you know in the 70s. I grew up in Baltimore It's like Baltimore all my cultural stuff is you know American stuff You know we have some but like I can't imagine if you if you kind of had like a generational shift plus Just how different your lives like cuz like you at 14 if you if you kind of had like a generational shift plus just How different your lives are cuz like you at 14?

It wasn't char-broiled oysters It was like I mean even the stories about when you I love that story too when your dad just showed up and asked you As a child if you wanted to live with him And it's like you're a little-ass kid who has no idea the concept of what like you're like Oh, I'll go live with my fun dad But like your childhood is a lot different from what you're just you know you're describing with your kids like totally yeah My kids don't even I'm I'm I'm a present. That's yeah. Yeah, like all the time present. Yeah, like my dad was Sporadic Pop sporadic you know and I'm there and and I don't

want the relationship that I had with my day of course yeah but my dad was there when kind of like when he needed to be something and then I go back like for you or just like for him what do you mean just period for me and my sister when he when he needed it was like if you called him and asked him to come to something he would gotcha gotcha but you had to call an ass yeah yeah yeah present and then you're thinking is it gonna make it right you know so when I lived with him yeah how old were you when you lived with him? 10. 10, okay. 10 to 14, I lived with him. Oh wow, okay. And my dad is the reason why I eat oysters, but I never. They're good.

Orbeez oyster guys around here. He had them in like this glass jar. Oh fuck, I've seen those. Those are brutal. And he would eat them out the jar, I'm like. That's a long way from the ocean. It's so far from the shell. Yeah.

Like those. Oh yeah. That's fucked up. Those right there. Yeah, yeah, that sucks. It was so worth it. That's the little jaw right there with the white lid. No, the white lid.

Oh. Goose point. Yeah. I don't even know what that would even be from. Yeah, dude. That even know what that would even be from like I did that was it was it was just so much slime Yeah No, this is not this not a good presentation Yeah, I mean and so it was you and your dad your your 10 to 14. It's like and he's a single guy

I'm guessing oh, yes, so saying very single I'm talking about Oh, so single. Very single. Very single. I'm talking about, I thought Houdini made this song for him. Like, it's a song Houdini has, I'm a hoe. And when I listen to the lyrics, I always think of my dad. He said, I'm a jigger high, I'm a jigger low. I'm a jigger every place I go. When I walk in the party, I was by myself. Nine times out of 10, I leave with someone there. There's something about the way I rock the microphone,

the ladies in the place wanna take me home. Stretch me out all alone, the couch, and show me what they loving is all about and what I get on. And then I hit on. My dad, I met 42 women the first year I lived with my dad. My dad was using me as part of his day. He said, I'll take care of my son.

I'm like, I just got here. I just got here. My dad was using me as a part of his day. Oh, yeah I've had oysters for breakfast and lunch four days in a row It was it was it was Crazy how single he was what's the it's very funny to think about about that time period to like What's a pussy getter at this time in Houston? What's your dad's vibe like what's he what are we looking like? What's he dressing like my dad Taylor Mays suits love that? I'm so hot he only owned one pair of jeans mmm, and that's when he rode his motorcycle. Yeah Two pair of tan slacks. That's what he had on the carrier service downtown.

So he had all white shirts in maybe a hundred tailor made suits in his. Wow. Holy shit. Because people say I got a walk in closet. That's the only goddamn kind of closet I've ever known. Living with him. There's a whole plethora of suits. And then he had, okay, so he wore python boots, he wore ropa's, he wore loafers, and then lace-ups.

They had different, he never really, he had a couple pairs of snake skins, but he really liked eel skin too. Eel skin, hell yeah. He had like four pairs of snake skins, but he really liked eel skins too. Eel skin, hell yeah. Yeah, like four cars. Love that. My dad was really, but he had this car called a Peugeot. Oh yeah, the French car.

Oh man, it was blue with tan insides. That's a hard car to get back then. They don't even have them around now. My dad was doing it.'s beautiful what's the hairstyle looking like Oh small little afro like real small afro thick mustache he sounds incredible man shit I'm tomorrow shit black always moisturized yeah like yo and he was like yo he What was his his fragrance then two fragrances?

Lagerfeld and obsession. Yeah Fragrances an early adopted to obsession. It's been around forever now and my dad used to get them I'm from Europe. Get them. And he could dance. Like my dad was a real good dancer. What years are we talking here? Oh the 80s. Early 80s. That's a forgotten time in black culture I feel like. I feel like everyone thinks about Soul Train and then they kind of

like move to you know like you know just like hip hop but it's like that Houdini era. You know what I mean? People do forget about I feel like that's kind of memory hold a little bit. If you think about how 80s rappers dressed it was kind of still 70s but with a little funk to it but my dad was bruh this was everything was tailor-made still. I mean, it is crazy how you don't have a TV show because every person you mention,

it's like I want four seasons about your dad. You know what I mean? Every person that you, you know, that then you were like, when you were selling drugs, like your crew sounded hilarious. The girls you were dating when you were like 19, when you were in high school, when you were in prison. It's like every person you, like, I literally just want to read your father's biography right now

I want like a presidential level biography just about your dad let alone everybody else you you you know Just rise weird. I just had a special call my father in Detroit, but It was something that I did not add in there because I didn't think about it until afterwards. I never, I just started thinking about why would he put the cocaine in a cool whip container in the refrigerator? Like, were you not thinking about me? Yeah, yeah, you think it's gonna be dessert.

You know how many times I thought about dipping strawberries in there. Just the whole inside of your mouth is numb? I was like, no, I don't think this is, I don't think this is stupid. But why is it in this bowl? Like, this is the easiest thing. I know you hidin' it from the police, but I could've ingested it. Yeah, you're 10. I know people have the, you know, everybody talks about how, you know, your mom put the

like sewing equipment in that cookie container. You remember that container? You know what I mean? The like tin one? No one talks about cocaine in the Cool Whip. That's all you man. That's the first time I've heard of that one. It's in the refrigerator in the Cool Whip thing.

I'm like, nah, what about this? Yeah, there's, they have powdered Kool-Aid or they have the Cool Whip thing. I'm like, nah, what about this? Yeah, they have powdered Cool Whip now. Man, I just wondered that, why would he do that? And you know, I can send you a picture of this. When my father passed, right, I kept a pair of his boots I um I kept his a pair his boots mm-hmm and I got him re sold and everything and it's a pair of boots that's in my closet I'd never wear I can't fit them yeah yeah yeah but my son I'll probably be able to wear them like yo these are your grandfather's ill-skinned yeah boots that I got you, these are your grandfather's ill skin boots that I got, you know.

These are your grandpa's pussy getting boots? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When you put them on. That's a cherished heirloom in the family. When you put them on, bro, just know it's going to fall in your lap.

His spirit comes back. Now, you know what I mean? They're haunted. They're like like he takes over Your father's reincarnated through the boots I kept his hat I Had this smooth little straw hat that he used to wear when he got older I can't was here, but my dad was I See what how my mom fell for him. Yeah

And and I wish I could find my mom's old fur coat, because my mom, when I look at the pictures of my mom back then, my mom was a fox, and I see how my dad was after my mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, eh, I can see it.

Yeah, absolutely. And my mom, she drove like the old Camaro. Oh wow. It was gray with burgundy insides. And this is not the woman that you wanted to come to the school and get you. My mom was 4'11", big heels on, and she used to wear these silky dresses

with a thin gold belt. And she had this huge curly airflow. My mom was beautiful. she'd come to school, just sexy as she wanted to be like, hey, you in trouble. Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom, no, yeah, embarrassing you

and then all your friends like, your mom's pretty fucking hot. Your mom's pretty hot. Yeah. Your mom was like black Fairfax. Yeah, that's why you had to learn to fight. Because of what everybody was telling you. I do love that detail. You've been boxing since you were a kid. I mean if your mom's hot you kind of have to fight.

That was my grandma. My grandma was like yo everybody in this family can fight. This is what we don't play about. I remember my grandmother telling me, you're not going to be a big man. Yeah. I've looked at the DNA. I've looked at the genetics. It doesn't matter if your father is 6'3". Your mom is 4'11". You're going to fall somewhere in between there.

And you're going to have to be able to fight. And then I look at all my uncles. I have one tall uncle on my mom's side. Everybody else is like the highest. We gonna go five, nine. Five, eight, five, nine. But everybody else is like five, six. It's about five, nine.

But these are the toughest. My mom's brothers, my mom has mind seven brothers these are the toughest thick-handed me yeah that like they did not my dad used to talk about my uncle yeah they were kick his ass like my dad was the only one that my uncle David didn't kick the shit out of that try to talk to my mom. Oh wow. Like they would literally beat, cause they had three sisters, you know. And the men who married my aunts, literally was under the,

my uncle Chicken, he married my aunt Eunice. Incredible nickname. And then, Uncle Chicken. My aunt Angela, she married a guy named Marvin that didn't come through the ranks. So then they end up getting divorced because he didn't come through the ranks.

But man, you had to come see them brothers. And they were on one. My uncle David would tell me, he said, you know how many men I chased up a tree? And I'm like, damn. You had people climbing trees, get away with y'all. We can beat the ass up a tree. Like damn. Fucking Looney Tunes shit.

And then you would see their hands, you like, yeah, I could see it. Yeah. I think my hand is, and I've had some good ones. I've had some really good ones to where I broke my knuckles on people. That's why I don't have them right there.

But it's like my uncle's hands are like two or three of my hands together in the thickness. I was like, y'all are really, and my uncle's like, yeah, I knock your ass out too. And that's where I used to get me, my mom used to get me to act right. She's like, you want me to call your uncles? And she would sometimes.

Oh no. The type of threatening phone calls. Like, my uncle be on the phone talking to me, it's like the mob calling you. Like a lone shark. Like, hey, listen, listen, listen. You like, I am, do you want me to fly down there and break your fucking spine?

And you like, I'm nine. You know I'm nine, right? But shit, you nine. Pretty nice Etchish sketch you got there. Be a real shame if something happened to it. My uncle Lam'm nine right? But shit you nine. Pretty nice etch a sketch you got there. It'd be a real shame if something happened to it. My Uncle Lamont right? For, and this is so true, this is one of the truest things I can ever tell. Up until four years ago, I thought that my Uncle Lamont killed people for the mob.

Because that's what he looked like. Yeah, yeah. And he always had this long black leather jacket, he wore the same shoes, these black kind of boots and he looked so menacing with his hat. And like four years ago he was like we were at a family function and he said hey man you gotta um let me make some shoes for you I said what and I'm thinking like like see me shoes like yeah he's like no you gotta let me make some shoes for you. I said, why would I do that? He said, that's what I do.

Wow. I'm gonna make shoes. Yeah. And I said, like for how long? He's like, forever. Like 40 years. Wow. I've been making shoes for 40 years.

And I said, you are a cobbler. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, what you talking about? You got a medieval occupation. He said, what do what you talking about? You got a medieval occupation. He said, what do you think I need? I said, I thought you killed me for the mob. If you threaten someone enough when they're nine,

they'll think about that for the rest of their lives. They'll be like, oh, he's a murderer, of course. That is crazy. My Uncle Lamont makes shoes in California for a long time. My Uncle Donald, which I never thought was a mobster, who shot people more than anybody else because he owned the cleaners for 40 years and he owns a corner store.

So people have tried to rob him. And the crazy thing when he owned the cleaners before he sold the cleaners, his wife's name was Louise. So I used to call him George Jefferson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he shot, maybe like two years ago, he shot somebody who tried to rob his store. Wow.

Where's the store? In Mississippi. Okay, damn. And the funniest thing, so how the world is, people say the world is small, but it's not. You just get in these spaces with people. Roy Woods Jr.

Yeah. We're taping this show with Ari Shaffir. And we chatting it up and he's like, you all have people in Clarksdale. And I said, I got people in Clarksdale. He said, who your people? Then we go through the who your people thing is and I tell him who my uncle is. So he hits his uncle and was like yo do you know this person and he

was like Donald Mitchell? Hell yeah I know Don. Don helped me get out of prison. He's a corner store. He owns a corner store and he's like uh. He's a congressman out there. He's been he was the only one that they let stay in Mississippi. They ran all the rest of my uncles out. Yeah. Running people up trees and shit. Like, get y'all, y'all violence out here. Go get some, go buy some leather and make some shoes in Los Angeles, man.

You gotta get out of here. and you gotta get out of here. Yeah. Yeah. My uncle Bolton, when he passed, they buried him at this place in LA, in Pasadena, where they bury all these high ranking military people. So we were going to the funeral and I was like, hey, I said this to my aunt.

I was like, hey, I don't know who else passed, but they must be really important because they got all the flags lowered. They had all these high ranking people out there. They got the people coming to do the 21 gun salute. And I was like, who else passed? She's like, this is for your aunt. Yeah, yeah.

I was like, what? Yeah, they didn't double book the funeral. And he was some big shot in the Air Force. Oh wow. And I was like I didn't really know any of this about y'all. I'm just thinking about the threats. Yeah yeah the threats will stick. Yeah the threats will stick. All of them they called me talking tomorrow you playing with my sister That so even though so it just sounds like you had a ton of like a bunch of different sort of like your dad was in and out whatever but it's like you did have a ton of like male like Figures to look up and then even even outside of your family I you know male figures to look up to. And then even outside of your family,

as you were growing up, like people in high school, and then the other thing about prison, where you were talking about just a lot of the older guys, too, that's an interesting aspect you don't think about, how much community is in there, how much you learn from the guys that have been there. I mean, that's something I love about it, is it does humanize, and it's weirdly a it's weirdly a light-hearted take on Prison which you never get it's always like doom and gloom or whatever and I'm sure it's bad But I miss I'm sure you'd rather not have been in there

People who and they never talk about the people who learned from their mistakes in trying to, it's like in the hood. It's a misunderstanding that it was people that we never allowed to be in the streets because we saw potential in them. You know, so we would say like, my boy he played basketball.

Hey man, he trying to get out here in the streets. I'm like, for what though? This is not you. So here goes some bread, go to school, get all the stuff that you wanna get that you feel like you want and we'll see you on the other side, not this side. Yeah.

You know, but they never talk about those guys because real street guys would never let you get in the streets if you had other potential you know unless they may and we caught you doing something that you wasn't supposed to be doing that's a whole nother threat yeah yeah no man get out of here yeah go work on your jump shot yeah yeah go man we had this guy named Phil, right? Phil played all the instruments, but his instrument was a saxophone. And Phil would be walking from school, I'd be like, yo, Phil, come over here and play your little harmonica for the people, right?

And, cause they don't believe that you're good. You need to be able to do that. Can't play that shit. And then you like, man, feel the air with some and then so feel of you playing a little concert. We give give them some bread plate. But then I remember what our boys got killed. Right. And feel is coming.

And I say, yo, feel. Man, play some of something to uplift they spirits man I'm to honor him and in Feel is a good Producer yeah, you know we it's certain things that they forget about what we would not allow for sure You're saying in our neighborhood You couldn't be Like a dude known as being creepy with kids. Yeah. Yeah We gonna come. Yeah, that's nice

a universal a universal good to police those motherfuckers, you know, it's a a universal good to police those motherfuckers. You know? It's a, hey man, you a grown man, you talkin' to girls, yo, yo, yo, what you doin'? Yeah. And you, I think it's a space for neighborhoods that don't have active police for the, it's gotta be somebody that polices the situation.

Well that's also, I mean, the funny thing is like, people, whenever they talk about, because American culture, it's so funny how Italians talk about how good the mafia is, and it's always shit like that, where it's like, when it started, it was kind of like, kind of starts like a neighborhood, almost like policing thing,

and then obviously it gets out of control. I think with each generation, that's kind of harder kind of starts like a neighborhood almost like policing thing and then obviously gets out of control I think with each generation that's kind of harder and harder to pull off. It just becomes like, you know Moral or so Morals go down every generation like hey, it's pretty cool having a lot of drugs and money I'm gonna stop doing this bullshit community service. Just get fucked up and get pussy. I Think that that's a hard thing to pull, you know,, you gotta thread the needle for a while, but it is fun. Yeah, there is no credit for that for sure. But I do love the, I do love that, and this, when you're doing all this stuff,

that's when, this is like when you're, because you're also young at the time, right? Very young. You were like 19, 20? I went to prison at 19. Oh, you went to prison at 19? Yeah, I was 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. Four days on the street at 19. Wow, four days. That's not a bad work schedule. You get three day weekends.

October 17th is my birthday. I was gone by October 21st. Wow. So I never really, I was on the streets four days at 19. Wow. I missed all of 19. Got out when I was 25. 25, okay, damn. Six years, some crucial years.

I mean, I guess that is sort of like kind of going to college, I guess. A lot of development, a lot of development. Like the worst part about it was I had no like women skills. All of my skills very juvenile. Like yo you want a shrimp basket? Yeah. Like that's juvenile ass conversation.

Yeah because you have a ton of money you're like yeah I'll just buy you something nice. Yeah but when you get out, that's kind of, I was really awkward. You know, and I still think that I'm awkward, but yeah, I was really awkward when it came to women when I came home. Yeah. 25, no real interaction for all those years.

You like, you know, you talking to a teacher that works in the front office is not the same as being in a relationship. Of course, yeah, yeah. And then you have developed this, this callous of how you talk. Yeah. So in prison, every conversation was basically aggressive.

Mm, yeah, yeah, of course. So you just learned to talk. Everything is aggressive or it's an argument. Yeah. Want to go to TGI Fridays, bitch? Are you free? That's not going to work. I'll trade you two cigarettes and a bar of Irish soap

for you to come to TGI Fridays with me And especially cuz you're you're like you go out now It's like you're an awkward kid, but you you kind of like you also probably felt like the man when you're making so much money You're wearing cool. I remember this you tell a story about how you're just at like a homecoming game or something. You were a fur coat Yeah, you're 18 The high schools are right next to each other we connected by annex but we rivals gotcha got and this is a Academically high school and we and I'm there with a short mink on. Like, yeah.

Y'all see what this is? You're gonna be able to fuck when you have a mink on as a 17-year-old or whatever. Everybody. Yeah. Back to being my dad. And then you're 25 and you have none of that. You're just like, how do I even figure it out?

That is a tough one. I have less, I have so not any money. So not any money. You know, you get out, they give you like $100 when you initially get out, and then you have to report to your parole officer to get the other $100. So you get total of $200 when you release. Perfect to rebuild. And like, rebuild your life of $200 when you release. Wow, perfect.

And you like rebuild your life with $200. I bought a bag of Ruffles and a Orange Crush and all of a sudden I had $17.50. Inflation has increased while I was home, man. It was getting those. And I see how people can go back to doing what they were doing to make money. Of course, it's almost set up to do that, it feels like. But I think my mindset was so against it

because they thought that that's what I was gonna do. Yeah, yeah. And it irritated the shit out of me. Yeah, yeah. I remember this, the CO told told me he would see me again. I was like, why would you see me again? Like what would I be doing for you to see me again? I never told the story,

but I got transferred from one unit to another because I went to school, to electrician school, right? So they transfer you to another unit because that's where the school is at. And then I got transferred back to my original unit. And this white guy who I was cool with, he was being really standoffish with me. I thought maybe something had happened to him

while I was on or something. And then he just, one day just came to me, he said, man, I believed in you. Oh, fuck. I was like, what? He said, man, we used to talk about developing and getting out and never coming back. He said, man, I believed in you.

I said, why did you stop? Yeah, yeah. He said, because you're back. Back from where? Yeah, yeah. He said, cause you're back. Back from where? Yeah, yeah. He thought you got out. He thought I got out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And came back.

I'm like, fucking no, I went to another school. I went to another prison. I was in a, this is a minimum security prison. I went to a fucking max and this shit was different. You lucky, you lucky you see me here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On Bill Clemens was totally different from Torres. Yeah, the the riot happened on Torres. That's just a simple riot sure Bill Clemens Was a different

Monster. Yeah, like a max max super max and Minimum are so far away from each other Yeah, it is crazy and I, so you went from the minimum to the supermax, then back to the minimum? Yeah, they transferred me back. That is kind of a heartwarming. I mean, those two stories are kind of weirdly hard.

It's like a Disney story where the guy's like, I believed in you, man. It's like, again, the connection you had with either guys in prison is heartwarming. The Dexter Manley story is hilarious. His feelings are hurt. It's like, guys, we got to put this between us and then this guy being like I really wanted you to get your potential you know it's really it's a funny thing that's a that is and if you haven't seen it go go watch it guys

go watch all the specialties got you know so many on his YouTube on his YouTube channel free go see him right now and I think I think you're gonna be prepared for this we like to give advice to our fans here So they leave voicemails, okay, and they'll call in and we just will give them a little advice here, so Yeah, yeah, they've called in eldest. What do you got for us, buddy? Hey, stop Elvis and guests and our guests would appreciate your Hey, stop Elvis and guests and our guests would appreciate your advice on something I've been struggling with. So I am almost 30 and have never had a girlfriend.

We don't need to get into all the reasons, but I was not in a great place in much of my 20s and it just never happened. Nevertheless, the last couple of years have been better and there have been a couple of instances where I've been seeing somebody for a little bit and we get to that point talking about exes and when I say I don't have one, you can just right away kind of see the look on their face like what the fuck is wrong with this person?

And I try to explain myself and do what I can to ease concerns, but they rightfully in my opinion are worried, I'm almost 30, if I'm talking to some girl who's 30 She's probably looking for a husband and someone my age. It's never had a girlfriend the question starts to come up of you know Would you marry the first girl you date etc etc so I try to do my best to move things over but Every time that this conversation to move things over, but every time that this conversation happens, they end it within a couple weeks after that.

So just looking for some advice on maybe ways that I can message them better or ways that I can help sort of get them over the hump that, you know, just the fact that I've never had a girlfriend doesn't totally disqualify me because I think I'm a kind, thoughtful person and would be a good partner, boyfriend, father, the whole deal, but it's just sort of been an issue as of late, so appreciate any thoughts you have, much love. Interesting, damn.

Never had a girlfriend. I mean, I don't know. I think that's, I think he's phrasing that wrong. Yeah. Okay, so just, he says, it's happened multiple times, right? Yeah, exactly. Use them as references. Totally, yeah.

I've had one technical girlfriend, you know what I mean? Like I've dated a bunch of girls, like who cares? Yeah, I've dated, I really haven't been in a committed relationship with these people, but if something, and oddly enough, the reason why is because I don't claim them as exes at that point, because it wasn't long term.

Three weeks is not a long time. You could be my first ex. Like, you're like the first. Also, lie. Who gives a fuck about this? This isn't like a, I would say call those little three-week Let three week bullshit. Just say they're your exes you had some kind you've dated You've been whatever the fact that the fact you haven't had a serious girlfriend

I think this guy's letting it stop him Yeah, right cuz it's like if he's like a charming it sounds like your dad never technically had any exes That's right if you're like the problem here is a classic problem Just not believing it thinking this is gonna be an issue right cuz like who cares dude who like it comes up What happens is this comes up and he goes, I've never really had an act, you know what I mean? If he's like, oh you know, I've been seeing a couple people here on again, off again,

nothing really clicked, you know, just that's all. And if you just moved it forward, it wouldn't be that big a deal. You're just, you are scared to bring up the fact you haven't had a girlfriend It sounds like you fucked before which is big Had some long I mean if that I might be better because you might actually have some camaraderie with if you saw one sex Worker over and over again. It's like we have a barber you really like that's a relationship that

could last a decade honestly so maybe that's the key dude but yeah just message this better you are you're clamming up I promise you if these girls like because the other thing is you could spin this this guy clearly want he sounds like the type of guy who would get married to his first saving yourself oh that's good that's good women say it like yeah no i've been religious and then put the eyebrow up and say i've been saving myself for the right person you're talking like you killed everybody that you know my exes no you can't talk to them why? Stop behaving like that and you'll be fine, dude. I promise this is just zero kill cuz this could be a positive, too This could be like I've I've known women who have who've sort of like trained

You sound like the kind of guy who would like to submit to the will of us of a woman who can control his life Eldest his wife makes all the big decisions, isn't that right, Eldest? And you love it. That's right. Yeah, you sound like an Eldest type of fella. One of these women, you're gonna find the right type of girl and you're gonna be fine, just stop letting this be

the thing that you get nervous about because it's all in your approach. You think it's a big deal, so you've made it a big deal. If you're like, I've seen a couple people, I've been in a couple, and you can also, like it's a resume, you're never as hard a worker as you pretend you are on your resume. You saw a girl for three weeks,

make it seem like it was a couple month relationship. It's not the big, you're not a piece of shit, unless you are, unless you did do some weird shit, but it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like you had some mental illness things, you had some other shit going on. And by the way, recovering from all that shit, that can be cool too. You can be like, look, I was struggling in my 20s and then I had a couple little short term relationships, but I'm really looking now to date seriously and I want something serious. Because that,

you think, you're already getting ahead of them thinking it's gonna be a deal breaker make sure it's not be like no I'm over that now you know I was a bit of a late bloomer but I feel good now and I'm I'm really looking for something serious you'll be fine bud especially if you have a good career totally you focused on your career you fucking 30 yeah and the second round is about to happen yeah and like you didn't really have anything to offer right that might be the problem my son's 31 he shouldn't have had any goddamn girlfriend I was struggling with this girl. She made love, man.

Yeah. And that's I think that's the thing. And then if you want to boost yourself up, there are this is what always gets me. And I've always seen homeless men with. Yeah. Yeah. They'll have women in their tent for sure. Sir, you can get a woman.

Yeah. You would have. Yeah, they'll have women in their tent for sure. Sir, you can get a woman. Yeah. You would have... Absolutely. Absolutely. Look at somebody that looks worse than you, I'm like, this guy has someone. Yeah.

Yeah. No, that's exactly it. You're letting this be the stop. You're letting this stop you. The homeless guy's not letting anything stop him. He's getting pussy. Anything. For some combos.

And he just shits in the trash can outside. Yeah, dude. Maybe you've had a couple intimacy issues, but you have plumbing, you have a warm bed, you'll be good. Here's some other ones, Eldis. Hey, Stavi. Big fan of the show. Long time, first time. Just calling back because I didn't really get my point across the first time I called. So, having an issue with my friend who I've been buddies with since we were nine years old. He keeps things close to the chest, but I have it on good authority from another friend

that he was cheated on by his fiance. Two of them have been dating for 10 years and apparently she's cheating with him, on him with this guy from work. Damn. I don't know how she thought she'd get away with it because he's a detective. Oh, wow.

So he'd figure that shit out eventually, probably. Detective? I need your help because The fuck? My friend is the kind of guy who doesn't really Let his emotions out around his friends So I don't think I'm ever gonna hear about it from him Oh, but every time I see him I can tell he's in a lot of pain and It seems like this is really crushing him

But I don't say I don't want to betray his trust by letting him know that I heard from somebody else So I don't really know what to do. I see him about once every two weeks and this happened I think about eight months ago. So I just need some advice on how to navigate this friendship knowing what I know. Thank you, love you baby. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Well the good news is this, I feel like this is an important step to being a great detective. You have to be broken by a woman, become an alcoholic, smoke cigarettes with some, you know, five o'clock shadow. And that's the good, a good detective has to get cucked. This is sort of like a detective's origin story, you know?

48 hours. Yeah, yeah. What's the guy for 48 hours? Oh yeah, yeah, fuck, yeah. Oh yeah, Nick Nolte from... Nick Nolte. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the guy from 48 hours? Yeah, yeah, fuck, yeah. Nick Nolte from... Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. You need a hard-boiled detective who fucking hates his ex-wife.

Like, that's classic. You need a guy drinking whiskey with the lights off in his office with a five o'clock shadow going, and that seems like the path he's on. But I mean, you know. Mind your fucking business until he tell you. Oh, I like that. Until he tell you.

It's like, hey, man, I'm looking at the pain in his eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you ain't got shit to do. Yeah. Like, I got a lot of friends that I see, when I see them, like, yo, man, what's on your mind? Oh, you're not telling me? Okay, cool.

Hey, bring another round. Yeah, you're not telling me. Okay, cool It's also like so everybody your other friend is Gossiping about him behind his back that seems fucked up also Yeah, dude, I mean look somebody's getting cocked and they don't know that You know who knows what their situation is and you might be misreading it That's the other thing you you don't actually know what the fuck is going on Yeah, I mean you could you could pretend you got cheated on and see if it sparks anything you could be like oh man Yeah, my wife sucked off the guy from accounting I'm pretty pissed about it

Maybe maybe I can open up to you. Is that OK? And see what you know, if he starts crying when you say that, maybe then you have proof. But you know, this is some soft shit, though. If you been friends since nine, your friendship is pretty fucking fragile. If you just can't say it. That is true.

Yo, yo, man, the fuck you got going on? Yeah. Your girl, She don't use some shit Yeah, yeah, like I'm gonna say it. I'm not I can sugarcoat This nine you have to pick a lane. I think you're absolutely right. You guys are this close You either say it or like you say the first time mind your business. There's no in-between there's no like gazing at him longingly and seeing and feeling like you can feel the pain in his eyes. It's like you can't pick one or the other. If Elvis were to get cucked I would be like you know

what's up bro? So this is another the other friend how long y'all been knowing him? Yeah who's the other guy? This is another guy. Like, yo, this is when, no, I remember I was going through this tragic, it was a tragic breakup. It was so crazy. And I was sleeping on my friend's kid's couch and I was not eating and all this bullshit. Yeah. And kid came and sat on his coffee table.

Because you were taking up his couch. I was taking up his couch. Yeah. All the seating was spoken for. Now I'm like Dexter Manley, I'm looking at it. And he says, hey man, not eating is not going to help. That's a low point if your friend's son is the one who's helping you out. And then he explained, he said, yo man, you sit on this couch, fucking not bathing and shit. You have allowed this woman to make you forget who you are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, you right, but I'm still so weak. Then that shit was over. It was like over. It's like, yo man, you're not supposed to let your friends wallow in nothing and you're not supposed to hold it back. But I went to go see my friends when they've gotten in out of bad relationships or out of good relationships

that they felt that was so good. I'm like, yo, oh no, she's definitely fucking him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm like, no, for real, for real. Like, she's definitely fucking him, no matter what you say. But she said she wasn't. Look at my eyes.

Come on, man. Look at me. I'm telling you, and I'm not a detective. I'm telling you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like it's fucking crazy. Yeah, and so, you know, you gotta let this, either say it or fucking, or just put it out of your mind,

but this kind of in-between shit, and he doesn't let his emotions around his friends, it's like, why is now the time you've decided to work on this? You know what I mean? It's actually kind of insane to wait for an emergency to become better friends. Like, you should have been, if you really wanted his emotions out, if you really wanted

a healthier whatever, you should have started this earlier, not when there's a fucking emergency happening. Let him deal with it the way he deals with it. If he wants help, he'll give you some help. Otherwise, you know, just like shut the fuck up, get some wings. And if you want to do anything for him help him cheat on his fiance back That's how you become a good friend. Hey, man. Do y'all have a Hooters? Yeah Yeah, they're like they're not hot Hooters check that sounds pretty as all this bullshit

I fully agree It's somebody gets go get some wings tip someone tip a Hooters waitress Who's maybe struggling financially 200% and see what what happens from there just let it play yeah either way you're a no man's land what else you got elders hey stop I'll be I'm gonna get right to it. I'm calling from Europe. I have no idea how much this calls. Call from Europe? Yeah, okay. So, I've had poor mental health my whole life. My parents looked me out there pretty fucked up themselves. But in the last few years I've had a breakthrough with my mental health. I cut them off and it's

been difficult. But it has given me the ability to be able to write music which is something that I've always wanted to do. I studied music, it was not completely new to me but writing music was never something that I could do, I just my self-esteem was so bad and yeah I just couldn't, I couldn't start but I Released my first single at the end of last year, which is exciting And I guess my question is It is delusional for me to think that I could Make a career in music even though I'm already 32 years old. I feel like Anyone who's kind of successful is, has been

doing it already. I've got friends who are successful musicians but they've been working already for 10 years and I don't know I just feel like it's a delusional of me to think that I could make this work. I mean I'm not looking to be like hugely successful or whatever just to make ends meet and live comfortably and have a nice time. I have a I have a better thing I can fall back on I'm a trained music therapist but I don't know I just something inside me that's like I want to do this I wanna yeah yeah do you need a full time but is it delusional me to think that that is even a possibility? Or is it delusional for you to think that it's a success?

Yeah. So is it delusional if you start an artistic career later in life to think you can have a career is basically your question. You're talking in two comics. I'm 51. Yeah. I'm like, I'm 51. And yo, man, if you start and you feel good about what you're doing, then you can have a successful career doing anything.

If you put the work into it, you can't look at people who were younger than you. Oh, they did it and they started when they was young. You can't run from president here until you're 36. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So it's not a time limit on your success and this is a thing that I've tell comics a lot who ask me about advice. They always tell me about the industry and they tell me about all this other stuff

and I'll say the problem is that you're taking the creator out of it. Everything depends on what man says and you don't understand what's been written for you or what the creator, I don't know what your spiritual upbringing is but it's still another higher power that has something to do with where you're heading

and what your belief system is. So don't allow your mental struggles to, because you're saying is it delusional? No, it's not delusional, especially if you put the effort into it. It's a lot of older older music doesn't have an age Just like comedy doesn't have Rodney Dangerfield started at 55. Yeah Yeah, he failed when he was younger and then he was selling aluminum siding or whatever and then he went back to it

Yeah, it's crazy. And so look yeah I think it's about how you're framing it right because it's like is it delusional to say you're gonna be fucking Dua Lipa or fucking Taylor Swift Yeah, okay. Let's just start right there, right? You're probably not selling out arenas or whatever, but it doesn't sound like that's what you want But is it delusional think you can have a career like, you know, I like a career in in music in whatever No, it's not delusional and it's good that you have something that's kind of related where it's like music, you could be your trained therapist, you could have a day job.

I would have been doing standup no matter what, right? Like if I had to have a day job and I did it, I'm honestly the happiest years of my life were when I had a shitty day job and I was going to shows every single night and I was trying to get better at it and I was trying to figure it out. And I'll be honest and I was trying to get better at it and I was trying to figure it out and I'll be honest I was literally happier then than I am now when

my career has gone good but it's like... It's expected. Yeah and it's like there's pressure, it's a job, I'm supporting people like you're kind of in a fun part of the creative process where it's like you're figuring your shit out, you're putting out your first, you had a block mentally that wouldn't let you be creative. Now you get to just create the music. Like I like figuring out my hour of stand up. I like working on it so much more than I like filming it

or even people seeing it. Like you have to do that for your career or whatever. You have to package it and show people something and make some money off of it. But my favorite part of this job is touring is the actual creative process is is making stuff And I would have been doing that even if I had a day job and I could only do it on weekends or if I had If I still lived in baltimore and I was just and I was like, you know Would run a local show there's people like that you go, you know

You're on tour and you see some incredibly talented people who for one reason or another It's not always talent like we were saying earlier some of this shit is a it's just a lottery ticket right place right time You know the correct algorithms. I mean we're I think both of us YouTube helped our careers a lot. Yes, sir You know you change that you shift that window five years earlier five years later Maybe you know, maybe if I didn't, if I wasn't doing crowd work clips when the algorithm was just shooting those fuckers to the top for some reason,

my life's a lot different. Same thing with, you know, Patreon and Comtown, we were making a ton of money, like, timing's a lot of stuff. Even if the timing was bad and I wasn't doing so great, I'd be doing this for a creative reason and I would try and figure it out. And there's other things, right?

With comedy you could write, you could show run, you could produce stuff for other people. And for you too, it's like, you were saying you had a friend, your boy from Houston who was a good musician, he becomes a producer, right? Like, you could find something, and that's the important thing, is like, living your life in a way that makes you happy,

creating what you want to, and seeing where the ride takes you. It's not delusional. Don't let worrying about the future stop you from doing what you like, and whatever happens, happens. If you're just putting out music for yourself and you have some small fans, whatever,

but you keep a day job your whole life, but you're creating stuff you love, and then maybe you make connections, you do some other fans, whatever, but you keep a day job your whole life, but you're creating stuff you love and then maybe you make connections, you do some other shit, that's great. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'll eat my words and you are fucking Taylor Swift in 10 years and you are selling out arenas, but who knows? But don't limit yourself with kind of negative thinking.

See where it can take you for sure. Man, I have a friend that is booked year round he's an incredible lounge singer hell yeah and you don't realize how many lounges there are and he when he pulls up because and nobody knows him unless you're Been to a lounge he's been in and he got a cruise ship gig what has a lounge in it Yeah, he's like yo and people like and then I see you on the we He's very Yeah, well to do yeah, cuz it all adds up. You know, it depends on it

I think people look at a one level of success and forget that there's other Lanes of success It's guys who don't ever want to be they don't ever want to have a special but they've been doing Stand-up for 40 years. Yeah and making a living on Yeah, do you know how crazy is when I found out the warm-up for a show? doing stand up for 40 years and making a living on. Do you know how crazy it is when I found out the warm up for a show? Yeah, a guy you've never heard of. Bet you never.

He's a warm up for a show and he gets out and his collar is up and he jumps in a Maserati in LA. He's like, yeah man, see you guys on Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is it? He's like, yo, it you guys on Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is it? You know, it's Chuckie Brown. Yeah. Been open up for Ellen show for 25 years. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you're making they're making like a doctor salary doing that.

Yeah. So, yeah, we believe in you. What else you got for us, Big Eld? Big fan. Let's start a cult. Amazing movie. Thanks, man. I'm just calling because my wife, she doesn't do blow jobs. I think she maybe did one in the five years we've been together. It was pretty awesome. What? But she just just she said she doesn't feel comfortable whatever pretty open with each other and recently she

told me a hilarious story about how she fucked one of her old guy friends in the ass with the strap on You still do that but you won't suck nid? And now I just I feel like wow this dirty bitch Well, uh, oh wow we had the same idea We'll fuck a dude in the ass But you won't blow me and I'm just curious you think this is fair You think fair? Yeah, you know am I I feel entitled to it? Yeah, I don't know

Fair this man is trying to like argue statutes to get ahead from his wife It can't be you're not gonna debate yourself into some head, dude Your wife doesn't like your meat Your meat probably has a stench to it Some sort of fucking taste that she don't that she don't agree with and taste that she don't agree with. Shave your pubic hair, wash off your damn meat. Make it, yeah. Drunk is probably, is gonna be your avenue to this.

You gonna have to get your wife drunk. And you may have to get fucked in the ass. Yeah. How much you willing to barter here? Ah! Maybe start off with a strap on this dude though. Let's open it, yeah. Let's open negotiations. Let's open it, it's like a

one inch, I hit you one inch, got two inch in my eye, two inch in my eye, two inch for three, three times three blow jobs. Oh shit. Um, I mean this is I mean look, here's the other thing. This is on you clearly because you're a coward and you're a pushover I can tell from your voice first of all not getting head for five years It's insane from your wife from your wife This is a dissing servant that you legally bought with love and time and you not getting

like it. This is fucking terrible. You know what? Obviously, like, we're, we hate, let's just say, philosophically, we hate your wife. We just don't approve of how she lives her life. We're a very pro-head podcast here and we just do not see eye to eye with your wife but This is also your fault because I can't fathom Like never getting head and just being like cool. This is acceptable You have you fucked up so hard when you set the parameters of what's acceptable in this relationship

And I'm a little worried that there is no coming back from this right Yeah, because you you've made it pretty much clear that oh, haha I don't even care about getting head meanwhile you're seething every night You're just like just suck it you fucking bitch. I'm fucking I work hard in the back of your head You're constantly you just want there to be some head. I Think your whole demeanor has to shift I think you have to change something about your life that you have to become a head getter. You're not a head getter right now. You're a guy who will allow himself not to be sucked off even in a,

in a mare, in a long-term relationship. And this isn't like the heads dropped off. This is from the jump. One blow job in five years. That's one, that's one, the ratio of days in this relationship to blowjobs gotten is one to like 1800. That's fucking insane, dude. How do you even make it to the altar when? Yeah.

This is what I'm sitting there thinking like. Yeah, you're on one knee, you're like, I have a ring in here, but you see how I'm on a knee How about we switch that posture you want this to open up? Why don't I stand up? Objection yeah, if I was your best friend Objection your honor. She only sucked them off once after a Halloween party It's like when people are like, you know, before you get married, talk about kids, talk about finances. Talk about your values. Yeah.

You need to make sure you're on the same page with getting ahead. I'm sorry. These are, this honestly might be one of my strongest held beliefs. More than literally anything is I must get ahead. Anything, anything. This is, for real for me, this might be the top.

When this like y'all broke up in Greece, I was like, God damn for me this might be the time. When y'all broke up in Greece, it was like, god damn, this must have been the Greece breakup. It didn't help. Thank goodness, like y'all never been nowhere romantic, we just felt like, you know we in Paris, I gotta suck your dick in Paris. That's true, you take a romantic vacation and then you start decorating you put a picture of the Eiffel Tower at your house You go somewhere and get your dick sucked Then you try and Pavlov's dog her into fucking thinking your apartment is the same place

I was only watch porn. She would catch me watching blowjob porn. Yeah, I would turn it on Yeah, I would turn it on like My oh yeah, you see how Mike bought it. Yeah, Mike Mike bought his wife and you Lexus. I hear she sucks him off every day crazy But truly okay, we've done clowning you and we'll say you have to shift things here You have to change something about yourself to become a guy who gets head. You have to be cooler. You have to be more in control of this relationship. My guess is you're just a pushover and you have to be more of a, you know, you have to be a more commanding presence or you could trade your ass for head. Those are your two. Those are kind of your two.

It's also funny that she'll tell you this story. It's like you should start telling stories about how you got sucked off in the past And how awesome it was but at the end of the day this boils down to You just got to have a convert It's hilarious almost all problems boil down to have a conversation and I have I mean it's funny, but I literally have had I Was like seeing somebody whatever and I did I did notice rates of head We're starting to drop off and I for real have had this conversation. I was like we can't have this I'm still eating pussy the same clip and all I want all I want is Equity in this relationship and you have to have that conversation. I mean, are you eating pussy?

Cuz that's another I mean you gotta you gotta get in there somehow, bro I mean you just gotta you gotta figure something out Yeah, and this is most of this show. All these these are most of our problems here I'm sure all this has another one of these queued up What up Bobby What's good? Oh eldest and esteemed guest This is a take two of my previous message, but yeah. So, been dating this girl for about five, six months. She's really cool. I don't really see like a feature with her in terms of that, you know, like marriage or anything

like that. She's really cool. Larry's gonna bring up a million things We're gonna go to the East Coast. We're gonna do some hiking things like that And I really want to go on the trip, but I don't want to break up with her prior Jesus Christ I really want to go on the trip, but I know that when I come back I'm gonna want to break up with her and just be a free bird again want to break up with her and just be a free bird again. How do I do that after having an amazing trip?

Because I'm the type of person that can make the best out of any situation. And obviously I'm not going to make the trip hell for her. You're pretending the fact that you secretly want to blindside your girlfriend with a breakup as you try and think over adversity and being able to make the best of the situation this woman has no idea what she's in for let's finish this call before we go in on him but make the best out of any situation and obviously I'm not gonna make the trip hell for her or anything like that because I'm gonna have a you know I'm gonna have a good time yeah we're we're hiking in some mountains things like that so I just want to know any advice

on how to do that what for context I don't like hurting people see me so I will gladly put this all on me I will gladly tell her that I'm the asshole on there's no you're not faking anything by doing that well yeah I'm just I'm just curious to see what what you suggest what are some things that I could potentially do or not do like to hurt her, like not cheat or anything, but I don't know, come up with a story, something like that. Come up with a story? I just need your big advice.

Feel free to make it funny, feel free to put it down in paywall, whatever you feel like it. The permission. I appreciate you. You greet God, and I also appreciate appreciate you the Albanian producer. Thank you This is fucking insane This is just a sociopath Just how calm he is yeah, he's talking about this like it's a normal thing

You know when you have to secretly you want to fuck a girl for six months, but you really want to go hike You really want to go hike in the Poconos so you can't tell I mean this is insane you know you the brokeest motherfucker ever counted why you can't go on the fucking hiking trip yourself if you like why you got even I wouldn't even ruin the trip by going Knowing that I'm secretly Playing on breaking up with you. Yeah, I was like yo I don't want to go anywhere with you. You wouldn't feel guilty I mean basically what this boils down to is he wants to get he wants to fuck a girl while on this trip

This is essentially a guy who's like, well, I don't see a future, but what I have to get there a couple days early, you get on Tinder, it's gonna be hard to get pussy on this trip, but so I'll just string this woman along. I mean, let's be honest, you're just a piece of shit, dude. This is how you get pushed off a fucking cliff

while you hiking in the East Coast. I don't know what happened to me, slept! But yeah, there's no... we're not gonna help you craft a lie. Just be honest, don't mistreat someone. It's not even like you're like, I don't really see a future, but we'll see where it goes. You know you want to break up with this person. You got it. I mean, the right thing to do is to just is to break up before like don't or yeah who knows I mean I'm somebody who's broken up on a vacation maybe there will just be

bad vibes immediately but it's just kind of crazy you don't feel guilty doing this. There's not even that doesn't even creep in a little bit. He's just like, what's the best way to to let her down? And it's like, and do a joke about it so I can feel lucky. I'd love to unload this on you. I'd love to make this your problem. But yeah, dude, you're you're a dickhead. You should break up with her before. And yeah, what are you going half on the Airbnb is that

what you're worried about here the fuck is going on you got to break up with her dude you're being a piece of shit I'm sure this has already happened probably but yeah in the future just be honest with people he says he says he's like anti-confrontational he doesn't like hurting people's feelings. This is so much worse. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. It's like, again, clearly a coward. And that's the thing is like you can't. This is worse. You do. It's not that you don't like hurting people's feelings. It's that you don't like experiencing what you do to other people. You you're like, because you have to get better at confrontation. First of all, that's being a fucking adult. Is shit like this happens and you have to just say it. And every time you do, every time there's a hard conversation,

having it makes you like, it improves you. You become a better, you're better off every hard conversation you have. Just stop being a coward, tell this woman how you feel. And just take a trip by yourself. I mean you shouldn't, this is kind of like a diabolical move because if she really likes you, she thinks you're getting more closer. She thinks this is like a vacation is kind of like the next step. It's the kind of thing after like six months where it's like oh wow we, we're in a real on the trip. Yes, we're getting a long grade on this

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's telling her friends like I think this actually, you know He was a piece of shit like this is what she's telling her friends is the group chat you got you know And you're wrong. I told you he wasn't a piece of shit. He's taking me to New Jersey to hike to hike. I'd be like, he's fucking trying to kill you. Yeah, exactly. That is the other thing. It would almost be more, no, it would be more spin. God damn Yellowstone.

You want to go to the train station? God damn, what a fucking asshole. You really are a coward. It's like a shitty coward. You're not only a coward, but you're a selfish coward and we don't support that here at Stavis World. And it sounds like you can get a girlfriend So just break up with her and get somebody else if you really want to The longer you do this though the more of a piece of shit you are but she has the tickets to this

Her dad works for American Airlines. We're gonna fly on a buddy pass We're flying standby. I don't want to buy tickets You got something nice for us to go on I know you got a get out of here I don't want to buy tickets. You got something nice for us to go on? I know you got to get out of here, Ali. Hey, it's Avi. Just caught you on the dreamboat tour in Vancouver, wicked show, man. But I'd like to formally apologize on behalf of all of Vancouver for the boo birds when

you're making fun of us for being on England's deck. Yeah, Canada's pathetic in that way. You know, they still have connect. They still have like the royal family in England on their money. It's like fucking they're like, England is not there anymore, bro. They can't do shit to you. Get off their dick. It's pathetic. We are working on it. Okay. That's what we are we're the little brother up here. Yeah. Anyway to my question I am a 35 year old recently divorced single dad of one

five-year-old daughter and I was recently at a park and a woman approached me she was there with her two kids and me being naive to the fact and like newly single and back in the dating world she was very clearly hitting on me but I didn't clue into it. So I'm just like wondering what like etiquette is for this. Obviously it's kind of tough sometimes to meet women when you're a parent. Like is it okay to approach a woman, like hit on them if they're with their children? Like that seems slimy to me. Or obviously just feel the situation out and let it evolve naturally, like if small talk starts and whatever. But yeah, any advice would be appreciated.

Cheers. Oh, I'm an expert at this one. Yeah, yeah, please. I don't approach women with their children, like you say, it seems slimy, but this case, you were being approached. She saw that you were being a nurturing father, and she looked at her crushed life with her two children. I would like that. Think about the Brady Bunch, man. You know, two single people and they

had kids and but this is totally a cool thing, especially if you're the one doing the pick up. Don't approach women with that kid, that's just me. And I would have went for this. And I'm like you, I never know when women are hitting on me. It goes over my head all the time. And if you like- You've noted a few times how many kids we got. No, I was definitely hitting on them. Yeah, okay. That was definitely me. I see, I see, I see. And if you like a few times how many kids we got no

That was That would be my advice you you missed you miss this one Maybe you can go back there saying Paul have your daughter don't don't do like my father's looking pathetic though It's like the same park, have your daughter. Don't do like my father did. That starts looking pathetic though. It's like, hey, you're swinging your daughter. You guys seen that lady from here? Anybody seen that lady? Can I go home? Not yet! Please, you're any minute.

That's my father. My father clearly uses me to pick up ladies. Yeah. Take care of my son. Yeah. Yeah, and the important thing to remember is that, you know, these women have been crushed by life. They're not naive anymore.

They're, you know what I mean? Like, that's the other thing. It might seem a little slimy, but it's like, there, it's not, this isn't like high school. There's no like nerves. It's like, you're dealing with people who have been through the meat grinder, who just want to, and they might just, they might, you know,

they might want to, they might just they might have you know they might want to they Might want a new dad for their kid They might just want they might just want to you know get fucked every once in a while because their life is stressful Maybe you're not maybe you don't even meet their kids. Maybe you're just meeting at a courtyard Marriott You know every six weeks. Maybe that's the relationship, but it's like don't be naive. It's all good You're all adults here, and yeah, I think, and you obviously have more, you know, experience here, but my guess is even, like don't approach women in a slimy way if you see somebody, but if you're just making small talk at a, at a like, you know, park or whatever, and

it's like, you could just feel it out, you know what I mean? Like if you just sort of hit it off with somebody, or you see someone at the same park or the same whatever, daycare, whatever it is, like, you know, you get a report, it's just like anything else except, I think the thing with a single mom is like, there's no real time to waste either. You know one way or another, you'll know pretty soon if they're interested in you, because it's like they have to pencil you in between like after school programs and cooking dinner and all this other shit. It's like they'll let you know It's pretty efficient. I would guess but your kid with you. Yeah, if you approaching women with children keep your oh, yeah Absolutely other than that you seen like real. No, I should make that caveat

You gotta have your own kid. Don't don't go to playgrounds. I hit what's up? You guys doing? Yeah, no parental no male figure, huh must get pretty hard Do you want a Nintendo switch little guy With a money on the thing. I almost got it. Pretty funny stuff here. Was that your finale, you have a fun one for us?

That was the fun. Okay, wasn't that fun? Just kind of a regular question. But you know, that's what we expect of your produce. Do you know any Albanians? They got Albanians in Houston It's probably something there. Yeah, but ever since I'm taking You know you I was definitely come to see you because my One of my favorite movies I fucking fucking horrible for this. But if people ask me my great big fat great great wedding. Great movie. Great.

I watched all the all of them all three. And I love them like she's great. Yeah. This is when I know I love a movie because it doesn't matter when. What part is on? Yeah, yeah. You hop on your you're like. I just, oh, okay, here we go. Here comes the party, here comes all the cousins. I am in, no matter when.

It's like coming to America. I'ma watch it, it was at the end of the beginning. Totally. It don't matter. Absolutely. That's my, that's my, and now to see them grow up and their daughter grow up, it was just, that was a great film. It's fun. Yeah.

Shout out to Nia Vardalos, Greek legend. I think it's one of the most profitable, I think it's like the most profitable romantic comedy ever or something like that. She has some kind of crazy record because it was a completely indie movie and it was like, yeah, what do we got, Eldis? Worldwide total of 368 million,

being the highest grossing romantic comedy of all time. She made 368 million on a five million dollar budget, so shout out to her. Never reached number one. She made the most money never being number one. So, salute to her. I remember we would take, our church would take like bus trips to go see,

like Greek people were just lining the fuck up. Yeah movie So there's a little plug for my big fat Greek wedding and also Ali Sadiq go. He's got Ruggett comes out on father on Father's Day Yeah, we announced we open up the announcement for the second half of the tour Tomorrow, oh actually, you know, she's gonna sell tomorrow for pre-selling Friday for a regular population and then speaking of weddings on Marcus D Wiley Special that I produce for definitely not five million for definitely not five million. Yeah.

Marriage is a major surgery, so yeah. Cool. Just keeping it moving, man. Go check it out. Truly so much good stuff on the YouTube and, you know, I mean, I said it at the beginning, but it's like you're incredibly prolific. So when people go, they go to your YouTube, it's like there's so much stuff to dig into and I think you guys are going to really like it.

Ali, thanks for coming, man. Oh man, thanks for having me. Yeah, yeah, anytime. Anytime you're in New York, please come back and we will talk to you guys next time. Bye bye.