Stavvy's World - #136 - Ricky Velez and Giulio Gallarotti

Starting point is 00:00:00 Folks, we've got a great episode coming up with my pals Ricky and Julio, but we want to let you know, of course, we've been doing this thing where we're using our podcast to actually promote the dates we do. Novel concept, almost two years in for us to consider, but I am coming to the UK and Ireland September 6th. I'll be in London September and 7th. Now we've added a show at O2 Shepard's Bush Empire in London Dublin I will be there on Friday September 12th Manchester September 13th Glasgow we've added a

Starting point is 00:00:36 late show so September 14th Sunday we'll do a early show and a late show and then stateside. We're coming to Memphis November 6 Huntsville November 7 Chattanooga on the 8th Knoxville November 9th, Asheville November 10th Greensboro on the 12th Wilmington the 14th and Myrtle Beach the 16th and then of course we are have we have shows in Austin on November 22nd and Boston at the Wilbur on December 13th. So we hope to see you there.

Starting point is 00:01:12 And now let's start the freaking show. Hopa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World 904-800 staff. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. On the couch we've got two of our pals, Ricky Velez, Julio Gallarati. How we do. Julio returning, freed from the shackles of Patreon. Breathing fresh YouTube air. Breathing fresh Apple podcast. Dude, the last time I did this was probably one of the worst days of my life.

Starting point is 00:01:44 Wait, what happened? The last time I did this was like probably one of the worst days of my life Texted me he's like stuff got me We just did Kush brothers for the first time in a while because I had taken some time off And I we got so smacked like this everyone was high like I don't even know if it was listenable But I'm we were like and then we're like and then we were like damn I think we're like wait who got so high they stopped talking and it was and they were like, alright, Julie Because dude, I'm just trying to like get my shit to pop off Yeah, we can turn this into kush brothers that was so yeah, I know we got so high too We were just cuz you know there's evil weed out there man. There's evil weed

Starting point is 00:02:48 That's ready to just completely destroy you. How was the rest of your day man after that? Were you able it was bad? Yeah Really really really deeply high and thought terrible things and then took them with me into sobriety We just fucking made you pull things and then took them with me into sobriety. Yeah. Oh no. We just fucking made you plunge. Just a full spiral of weak. In every possible way, dude. It was wild. In the moment, about my life, about like, my pants too were like riding up weird and

Starting point is 00:03:19 I was like, is my cock just front and center on the show now? I'm like, dude, this is completely different. God damn, man. You see what we do for your entertainment? You see what I do to my friends so you can wash dishes happier? Oh, that's so fucking funny, dude. Anything we can do, can we cure you? Were there any worries that we can kind of talk through now?

Starting point is 00:03:39 Have you kept them up? I'm back, baby. You're back. I'm back, you know? It's not anyway. You're not a big smoker, so. I so I try like I was the guy who smoked cuz everyone else was and like hated it every time But kept doing it for like ten years Yeah, I feel like when we first met you smoked you did smoke

Starting point is 00:03:58 Everyone smoked it was a big That I mean that was probably when me and elders were in our very large I mean, that was probably when me and elders were in our very large, our big weed smoking days the first couple years of this apartment, the first like four years of this apartment. And that's when we met back in, you know, that's when we all met way back in the day at the old stand. Yeah. Which is now calm. It is it is hilarious to be like, to get here to have some New York memories.

Starting point is 00:04:23 And other people's are like, you know, oh, we saw so many, you know, oh, I remember that loft, the artists were in it, it's like, oh, we did like shitty Sunday spots at a building that is now a high rise condo. Like we have no, there's no like romance to any of our New York like memories. It's like, it's all just dog shit.

Starting point is 00:04:43 Turned over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the romance of shit. Turned over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the romance of New York at this point. Yeah. Just being ready for new. Yeah. But it's all, but I would like it for it not to every single time be like the shittiest glass condo you've ever seen in your life.

Starting point is 00:04:57 For just like, you know, just Murray Hill expanding. You know what I mean? That's unfortunately what it feels like on that side of town on like You know like the east side. It's like it really is just kind of both You know blending into that shit your friend you grew up here though you grew up in yeah, I'm a lifer man Yeah, I don't know how I feel about it anymore. I used to be hype about it like New York And now I don't know if I want to get out, but I want something to change Like this is really not helpful I don't know if I want to get out but I want something to change

Starting point is 00:05:32 So listen to it like I grew up in Queens, but I grew up in Queens Village So last stop F train plus a bus love that. All right Yeah, I work so hard to move into the city and then the city turned into the hood Yeah And like after Covid like I had to like kind of like deal with a lot more shit than I ever wanted to If I came back to Queens would be wild. Yeah, it would be really wild come back as a conquering hero dudes right next door to a cop Into Bayside or Whitestone or something. I just like I don't know. I don't want to raise a Queens kid Odds are stacked against that like look at like a good friend of the show Sam Merrill

Starting point is 00:06:22 He calls his super to hang pictures. Do you understand that? That's what you're raising, bro. No, it's really funny. You want to hear something funny? I heard this the other day and I love this. Samaral goes to the same like exercise with the trainer as like all the moms at my kid's school. Yeah, like he always... That's your son's future, bro. That's what I'm telling you.

Starting point is 00:06:42 You raised a kid in Manhattan. He's going to not be able to drive. He's going to be like like you know what I mean? Like he's gonna be scared of parking lots. I don't really drive anymore. I gave out my license. Okay yeah. Wow. Yeah. A moment of like a sacrifice. Just I knew if I got in a car accident someone was gonna be like oh well he's always stoned and I'm not gonna get sued sued or something. So I was like, yeah, this is over. You were like, you weren't like, maybe let me think about reducing my weed intake to the point where it's not a constant fear of getting caught doing something wrong. You're like, I will give up driving my driving or weed. It's like, well, I mean, it's not going to be. I also had to renew in like the first three weeks of Covid.

Starting point is 00:07:23 And I was not going to the DMV. Okay, okay. All right. Fair. He's a very high functioning smoker though. I always like, in the press, like the most challenging task he's like, I think weed would help me here. I kind of agree in that there is an adventure. I got to the point where I was like so depressed that I didn't want to just do like, well, in his arms and now I'm not like this but I would get in a zone where I was like I don't want to do it sober because it sucks I want to like if I get so high it's a challenge to even like go to the grocery store I feel like I've accomplished something you know what I mean like if you get so debilitatingly

Starting point is 00:08:00 fucked up that you're like all right I can go buy ice cream. You know Yeah, you have to be like, all right, it's gonna take me 40 minutes to get dressed You know like put on a podcast to like tie your shoes Like I would get that high so that I would just do so make a task a task that that could take four hours When you're like depressed you just want to like you're not depressed enough to kill yourself, but you'd like to get closer to death So you're like how slow how much juice can I get out of one activity? Can this day can I move my life forward one day without really feeling it? You know and that's how It's a real coward's way to go about

Starting point is 00:08:44 It's like I don't want to end my life, but I want to steal one day of my life for myself Yeah Yeah, that's fine. I'm good. It makes me more creative for sure. Yeah, but then I don't know if it does either I'm I'm kind of maybe you for me. I think it I don't know if it makes me more creative I think I'm just dumb as hell and like you know. I think it I don't know if it makes me more creative I think I'm just dumb as hell and like, you know, I watch movies do I would watch movies and forget? I saw that what I saw. Yeah. No that happened. Yeah, that's I mean high I don't know if four times in a row and the fourth time be like wait

Starting point is 00:09:18 I've seen this, you know like that kind of shit, but you know, yeah I'm a drinker for sure dude dude. Like every drug makes me hate myself. Like when I drink, like it gives me confidence in this way that's not like it makes me break out of my shell. Like I feel like fairly well adjusted socially. Like I just like myself more. Like I can drink alone. Interesting.

Starting point is 00:09:37 No. He drinks alone. I like how like. It's the best time. I have a good relationship with him. How uncomfortable you were with me describing how I smoke weed. I feel the exact same way with what you're saying right now. You're like, it makes me like myself.

Starting point is 00:09:52 I'll drink it alone. How about you get stoned? You get stoned. You get drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I watch you both crumble. Honestly, yeah, for real. Dude, I look at the TV, and I see my reflection in the TV,

Starting point is 00:10:03 and I'll just be like you're the fucking man Big trip he took Africa Africa. Yeah, we were shitfaced in Rochester. Yeah booked tickets to Africa Wasted woke up. I was like, I wasn't sure if I was gonna go right is this sketch or whatever? I like he also banged the girl that looked like little yachty You just did right? I like did Ricky keeps telling me that I banged a girl looks like You just did, right? I was like, dude, Ricky keeps telling me that I banged a girl that looks like Lil Yachty. She had the beads, dude.

Starting point is 00:10:48 Beads isn't necessarily bad. I don't mind the beads, the mustache would be more the problem for me. The beads hitting each other while you banged her had to be hilarious. That show was cool. It was a great experience, dude. And it was a full on sloppy second situation. She's like, I'm going to try with the headliner. Wow, really?

Starting point is 00:11:11 And it was very clear. And then she looked at me, she was like, yeah, I guess. This'll be good. Were you a comedy at the Carlson? Yeah. I believe it was. We absolutely were there. That's a Big empty room.

Starting point is 00:11:25 Dude, by the way. I know that place, absolutely. One of the 12 people at the show got banged. Yeah. Dude, Lil Sass said one of the funniest things I've heard about that place. I was like, how many places did that see? He goes, I think 200, but it seems like it seats 4,000.

Starting point is 00:11:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is insane. It's so true. Yeah, yeah. That place is nuts, man. It's a giant room, giant. I know, I know. 4000 I know I do I do weirdly like Rochester though man. That's like the only place. I've almost gotten arrested He really yeah, they really like me same trip. I can fully corroborate this Try to plant coke on me and shit like it was wild, bro. Wow yeah, what the fuck? They just didn't like where was this like we were you guys were out and about or dude okay and correct me if this is wrong before or after you fuck love to hear so we get so

Starting point is 00:12:12 this is the day before after you fuck the little yandhi this is the day after the morning before maybe she could have came to both shows yeah he leaves weed out in the room we're sharing a room okay Maybe she could have came to both shows. Yeah, so Friday. Yeah. Bro, this is what happened. He leaves weed out in the room. We're sharing a room, OK? It's an ounce. It's a good amount. Wow.

Starting point is 00:12:29 We don't do drugs beyond that. In a hotel? I don't do drugs beyond that. Yeah, in a hotel. No one was smoking in the room. And apparently, like he's. Leaving it, by the way, he put it in the drawer, man. Dude, so I was late to radio.

Starting point is 00:12:40 Dude, so I was late to radio. So I just made that, like, jump up. I didn't even have a shirt underneath my jacket., I see I see I didn't have a shirt Part of the story because the guys like we heard there was cocaine in your room and we're both like what? Ricky's trying to argue. There's no cocaine in the room while he's wearing a jacket with no shirt So you're this after radio took pictures in my room brought it down I think she thought she was but like dude, I'm not kidding. It was why I was no coke to the point Like dude a maid taking pictures. I know what that's breaking the

Starting point is 00:13:18 You I thought I thought the the Marriott I thought the Spring Hill Suites were a safe place The Marriott, I thought the Spring Hill Suites were a safe place. You know what I mean? That's so fucked up, dude. That's crazy. I feel like I've left out a lot of crazy shit. Hotel maids must see insane spreads of stuff. That's what I'm saying, but bro, no cocaine, nothing.

Starting point is 00:13:37 And then they started trying to say shit, and I had at this point put the, they let me back into my room, and the weed was still out and everything, and they were bringing the cops now. so I just put the weed into the ceiling mmm oh wow it has been already photographed but at the same time find it now I just started screaming and I actually called my agent

Starting point is 00:14:05 and to this day I still don't know what he said. But I'm pretty sure the Rochester police get to sit up front during Kevin Hart. Yeah. Some deal was made that day. And then my agency had like a talk to me about Coke and I was like, that's not my thing Yeah, it's not my it was so annoying. That is a nice. I've never been back since yeah. Yeah

Starting point is 00:14:33 You know just the the sort of legacy of a Drug problem hanging over a place right felt like that, but they told us they told us There's like so many problems with like Fetno and whatnot that they were so serious about all drugs in that town. And I was like, come on, man. Also, who the fuck is this snitch maid? You want to hear that's not the first snitch maid I've had. Really? Yo, bro. I'm not banned from the floor season for a second. Okay, what'd you do? The week before my special, I was like one of the first specialist that tastes the test was after kovat Okay, so we had to we had I had to come back and test for everything before so I had to and there was a hurricane Hitting New York, so they're like, you know, you might not get in in time

Starting point is 00:15:15 I remember you have to leave Atlanta and I was doing the laughing school. I was taking care of myself So I want to stay in a nice hotel stay in the four seasons going to my special have a great time Yeah, I fucking go ahead and I leave I leave I have to leave early now So I have the room for two three more days. I leave a note of the ounce I had being like hey, I had to leave town early. This is good weed You tried to dimmer with weed? $1200 incidentally. $1200 the week of my specialty. That's what you get for being a good Samaritan dude.

Starting point is 00:15:53 Yo dude, so I wrote back, what are you talking about? Like that was CBD. It's not against the law in Atlanta to smoke CBD. That's CBD. And they're like, that's fine, but you're banned from the floor. And you know what what that's crazy. Then also then I was on a tour that was sponsored by the season So I'm back. I'm back and behaving Not trying to tip mage with drugs

Starting point is 00:16:18 Like yeah, I had a snitch made which was you being like this is the illegal illegal substance. I'm leaving you. It's a very high quality. Enjoy. People in Atlanta were cool. I like Atlanta. I do love it. I think where you fucked up was you should have fucking take, dude, give it to the host. You make his year. Yeah, I messed up. I messed up. I just I stop giving up free drugs.

Starting point is 00:16:45 Yeah you live and learn. I do love that though because I often like on the road will get a ton of drugs or whatever and when you fly back you can't. So when you give it to like an opener or like you know let's say you've made a friend. A little yachty style friend. You know what I mean? Like there are benefits to hooking up with a comedian right before they have to go on a flight with a lot of drugs It's like I've given girls a lot like thousands of dollars of weed and mushrooms cuz I'm like I just gotta you know, and that's like a fun little so if you're trying listen if you Want to if you're thinking about having sex with me try and plan it when I have a long flight coming up

Starting point is 00:17:24 Yeah, cuz you might also get you might also get some weed out of it you might get some mushrooms some pills are actually pretty easy to fly with so you won't get any of those I never I'd never fly out with it out of the south everything stays yeah I'm one of those yeah everything must go I ever take the bag from the airport what do you mean? You know in Colorado when you land is the disposal shit? Just fucking open up that thing and take the bag. Oh, that's smart. You just got a handful of that is awesome They should yeah, yeah, just put your hand in there. No take the back the whole bag. Just take the bag the plastic bag Yes, interesting. That's that is a good move. Yeah. Yeah, you should do that when you come into Denver

Starting point is 00:18:03 You know what I mean where it's like? Yeah. Yeah, that's like the like little that's smart. I'll just make a note, dude Oh, yeah, I remember that although I think we probably shouldn't I think I might only smoke weed on tour weirdly because it's like When i'm back here because we spoke we got so high and it really ruined a couple days of my life Like I got way too high. It was one of those like keef infused. Oh God. That's too much, man. It was too much. Too much.

Starting point is 00:18:29 The dog walkers are where you gotta sit, man. I like dog walkers too. We were definitely using those a bunch, but I think I have to stop in my day, at least for right now, because I'm also trying to be less fat, and it really triggered like, I got high as shit and I was,

Starting point is 00:18:44 and I don't have anything that bad in here But I was really I'm making fat concoctions You know and dude the like you're get high and you have like a high binge eating session And it permanently adjusts your appetite. Yeah, yeah, yeah Stomach and you can eat so much more. I also like believe if I if I put lettuce and tomato on it, I'm cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've just done something. Oh, the classic.

Starting point is 00:19:10 For years, my move when I was being healthy was buffalo wings and then a salad. It wasn't not buffalo wings. It was like a salad with a little grill. Me and Bobby Kelly, that was fat delusion. Some fucking room service and like after show bills. There were some disgusting things being ordered when I was like, when I was first opening for Bobby.

Starting point is 00:19:34 Because I was so poor and he just wanted someone to like, you know, be codependent with him. And we just, there was a couple years where it was, it lined up so beautifully. That's like, like if you if you were able if there was like a one of those black mirror like simulation like I would take a vacation I would use one of my vacations to go on one of those meals with Bobby again you know like we stopped at a random place and got dim sum and it was like no one else is there and I like They were like eight attendants like we ordered so much fucking food. It was incredible

Starting point is 00:20:15 It's like they almost like opened the restaurant. I feel like they were closed and they saw two incredibly fat guys Coming out of a rental car and they're like, alright, sorry No, I told you get you get a lunch break but get back in there put the let's get the broilers It was literally empty except for us and they gave us a full and we must even must have spent hundreds of dollars Yeah, it was like a $500 like dim sum meal probably. I was good stuff man Those vices are beautiful. But yes, it has completely resumed me. I was shitting all day yesterday Those vices are beautiful, but yes, it has completely resented me. I was shitting all day yesterday I'm peptoed up we pep there was a big a big We should try and get sponsored by pepto next tour because we were guzzling pepto dude it really fucked

Starting point is 00:20:55 You know oh, baby summertime is in full swing here, July Time to kick back Enjoy yourself have some delicious beverages beverages and there's no beverage more delicious or more refreshing for my money than an ice cold twisted tea, that's right, real brewed with real iced tea and 5% alcohol. Tastes like real iced tea because it's brewed with real tea, no bullshit, no weird chemical-y bullshit, it's actual tea. Nice little kick, 5%. Perfect. You don't need nothing more than that. You know what I mean? Just have a good time at the picnic. Don't make a fool of yourself. Very refreshing,

Starting point is 00:21:37 full flavor. They got raspberry, peach, they got a half and half situation. Goes down smooth, no carbonation. You know how much I hate when carbonation gets in the way of me chugging the delicious Bevy at the beach at the park. You know what I'm saying? I you know I Did a whole year of sobriety and one of the hardest things I had doing that for health reasons One of the hardest things for weight reasons Not having an ice-cold twisted tea

Starting point is 00:22:07 I've been sucking them down on my balcony this summer, and I hope you'll suck them down and suck them off with me That's right twisted tea folks Grab a refreshing twisted tea today and remember keep it twisted Are you drinking too? I had not been drinking for a while. I drank for the first time like a week ago and I liked it and I did have that old like oh this is this is pretty fun but then you it's like the same as weed plus you eat plus alcohol fucks your stomach up so it was like I'm kind of going on two different I had basically Day of alcohol and snacks diarrhea, and then I was getting over it

Starting point is 00:22:48 And then I got high and then I got like over and I'm just riding like I'm riding the diarrhea wave for the last Like four or five days, and I'm really trying to stabilize right now, dude Like I haven't I haven't had any I haven't had anything to eat today except pep I had Pepto for breakfast And so you know I don't know what I'll even have. Maybe I'll have like a plain bagel later just to kind of, you know, feed it a little. I was thinking some prosciutto today. Some prosciutto. Just, yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:14 It's nice, dude. I love prosciutto. It's just like, it feels not as bad as it is. I don't think it's that bad. I think it's filled with salt. Oh yeah, I mean that. But come on. It's not, you know, it's not, no big deal. Salt, I don't even consider, dude. Salt doesn mold with salt. Oh, yeah, I mean that but come on

Starting point is 00:23:29 Salt I don't even consider I haven't even years away from thinking about salt, dude I'm just trying to not eat eight thousand calories a day my shit is salty as fuck I meal prep and it's it's pretty you know I do a cup but like the salt is getting it's everything's being hit with salt vegetables Dude, I'm basically like eating preserved vegetables You know what I mean like the amount of like salt on asparagus and shit. What's the longest you go being a good boy? I'm on a pretty good streak actually we did you know even on just been shitting for two days This is contained. And then come back, come back like

Starting point is 00:24:07 if if I if I lose it this weekend, then we're in trouble. But I think I can stabilize. I think, you know, I'm going back to Baltimore. I'm going to visit my family for a little bit. I'm going to I hate my kitchen in

Starting point is 00:24:19 this shitty apartment. I'm literally going to cook and take it to like I literally have a system where I cook in Baltimore and bring it here and like Freeze it and I have like little meals that I use so I'm gonna get in there But I did you know I did pretty good with the occasional lapses the difference this year has been I've been able to like Kind of I've been dabbling with the ice before the tour. I started Taking like fat guy medicines like the not ozempic, but it's

Starting point is 00:24:45 Yeah, and it was because I was losing weight But I was like every other year of my life when I'm on this shit when I'm on tour I gain 30 pounds and so that's helped because one thing it's really done for me is that normally I Don't I have one of these relapses or food and I don't We've said it before my personal motto the best day the best you can ever feel is day one of a relapse Because you have all the health of being sober But your body but you're the enjoyment of the drug and so

Starting point is 00:25:19 Usually the first day I like shit. It wouldn't really affect my body But because the medicine it punishes you. The medicine makes you shit if you overdo it. So it kinda, I'm shitting at a, I've been on a bender for a month level, and that's good actually. I deserve to feel, I know people are hearing this, like you have an insane eating disorder, and I do,

Starting point is 00:25:40 but I do deserve to feel pain for how I've treated myself, you know, off the weed and you know, all the fucked up shit I was eating. So, you know, we're getting it together. But that is my main vice. Obviously, I'm a food guy. I've been my thing is like, I take like one month where I go 30 days. Oh, wow. And then a year when I do it like three times a year.

Starting point is 00:26:00 Okay, I like that. But I'm just learning to beat myself up more in between. It's like there's no When it's time to go it's go time yeah, and you're just smoking weed here you're drinking too Oh, no, I drink but I don't drink liquor anymore. Okay, dude. I'm a chardonnay boy What I'm putting down to. That's awesome. I'm making me test shit. Yeah yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:27 But it's always Chardonnay? Yeah it's always Chardonnay. Just different Chardonnays. Or the closest thing you can get to it. Yeah yeah yeah. You can bring me a Sancerre. I see. Hell yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:35 Respect dude. I love sitting outside drinking some. I reiterate what I'm saying. Bring a glass of ice cubes too. I might drop one in. Manhattan child with a dad who drinks fucking Chardonnay dude. I'm just reiterating it brother. You're gonna have to take this to the hospital.

Starting point is 00:26:43 I'm gonna have to take this to the hospital. I'm gonna have to take this to the hospital. I'm gonna have to take this to the hospital. I'm gonna have to take this to the hospital a dad who drinks fucking Chardonnay, dude. I'm just reiterating it brother You have to take this kid to Queens for middle school Have to take him out of the fucking I might bring him to the woods Retriever really are you thinking about woods? I would like the woods man. I can find peace in the woods I like water though. I really like to guide to every time I see it I just like I can stare at it for days, so I would really like water if I could yeah waters Oh, I mean soon. I mean that's the other things like who everything's gonna be waterfront property here

Starting point is 00:27:21 Perfect yeah, you're gonna have waterfront property Yeah, no, I definitely vacation wise. I'm always a water guy. Yeah, I know you're over there. Mr. Exotic going all over the place Go with him time to time. I'm like dude. I want to go to Dominican Republic and sit. Yeah each not like that Not oh, that's what you want to do. Yeah. Yeah, we're we're be going recently and by the way, you know Julie we plugged it on the patreon, but you have the great travel series tell people to go look at it Yeah, check it out find it. Yeah. Yeah, it's not Julio's the YouTube channel. I make pretty good shit Really do thank you a criminally underseen YouTube channel. I really like to change that And thank you eldest for helping me set up my patreon

Starting point is 00:28:03 And thank you eldest for helping me set up my patreon Link to one of our YouTube videos I'm like this is how we do the description We're you're tough we're in a tough place where eldest is the font of knowledge blind leading the blind. You want to talk about the blind leading the blind. Yeah. Zula consulting is not the first business. No sidekicks, motherfucker. Do you have any inquiries? I'm putting it in your contract.

Starting point is 00:28:33 You're not allowed to have a side consulting company. You barely post our shit on time. The fucking quality drops. Elders is just cashing checks It's a funny thing about our friendship because like, you know Ricky effectively my best friend, you know I mean any way you look at it. Yeah, we definitely we definitely like We definitely sort of approach our like travel philosophy like very differently in a way. That's like kind of funny like But I think he I mean I'm gonna speak for you but it seems like you to some degree respect what I'm trying to do

Starting point is 00:29:19 your artistic endeavor in the tribe I get very scared for you there are parts of it I am interested I've told you the places I'm willing to go and what interests me but there's a lot that you do that I have absolutely like no interest in seeing or no like and then it like you go in Afghanistan was too much I know you're saying I if I could teleport in for a day with you, I would do it. Literally getting there to me is the most annoying part. The more I've grown up. But then I go to him like, dude, I'll do the Amazon with you.

Starting point is 00:29:53 And he's like, oh, I know a guy we can do it on the low. Let's do this one on the high. I don't want to fucking die. I don't want to fucking be tracking gorillas with a guy that does this part time, dude. That's not what I wanna do. You don't want a part time Amazon guy. No!

Starting point is 00:30:09 I regularly do. You don't want the eldest of Amazon guys. He wants the fucking good shit, man. He also works for Amazon? Yeah, yeah. He's dropping off packages to pygmies. Well actually, no, dude. In the video I just did, I delivered the mail in Alaska in the winter a small plane including Amazon package That's pretty that's vacation, and I have a job

Starting point is 00:30:35 That's pretty fun though, but I do always think anytime. I'm in some like weird situation I do like to think about what you would say Like dude, I was in a Asia, I was in Nepal, and there was all these fucking monkeys just kind of like sizing me up. Like trying to like, and I just think about what he would say. And I envision it very vividly.

Starting point is 00:30:55 I just picture him being like, yo, I do not like that, bro. I'd be at the embassy. Yeah, I don't fucking mind that, I'm American, bro. I'm not really into monkeys either, yeah. They freak me out. They're too close to us, but too far away and too strong. Dude, yeah, they're very sketchy.

Starting point is 00:31:12 They can rip your dick off, they can rip your nose off. They're up to no good, they're clever, they're always fucking jerking off. Yeah, yeah. They're bad animals. I do like the really fat monkeys you see, like in Thailand where they'll feed some monkey too many fucking treats. And he's just fat as shit. But you know but like so I was what there's planet on the new planet earth There's a great segment about this where like oh really the old the old monkeys are like more clever than the young monkeys So they'll steal your shit, and they know what shit matters to you, so they'll steal your good shit

Starting point is 00:31:38 So then if you like offer them a banana They're like no, dude really you have to give them candy and then they'll give you your shit dude this is in Planet Earth 3 dude and this is their feather the monkey is bartering with you that's awesome the monkey also brings Julio breakfast in the morning like I'm not doing it I hate it I hate it like I don't want to go anywhere I have to get a shot yeah that's tough the shot is tough I totally get it and you probably had quite a, speaking of diarrhea, you must be ravaged. So dude, I've had ridiculously bad food poisoning. Yeah, that's the stuff I don't like.

Starting point is 00:32:09 Did you ever hear Afghanistan? The shit story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was playing home. The plane home, I remember, this was that fucking crazy. Sending me pictures of him with no shirt on in the Afghanistan plane bathroom, sweating, sweating.

Starting point is 00:32:23 I remember you were trying to finesse first class. You were trying to get sympathy. Exactly. And no one gave a fuck at all. playing bathroom Get sympathy exactly Fuck Last time I did not get sick on my last trip, which was a huge W Yeah, I'm trying I try to be very careful, but usually by the end You know you get you think you're good And then you eat too much the keys not to eat a lot if you don't eat a lot your stomach's more likely to be Able to get used to it, but yeah, bro That's my biggest fear traveling is always getting sick that is the number one fear and that's kind of really the issue and that sucks

Starting point is 00:32:53 Yeah, yeah, I don't want to be you know fun I don't want to be shitting my and I just sit there and YouTube and watch all those videos of them making the street meat And I'm like yeah, I can't do that and I know I wish I could The thing is I would crush it like I love fucked up street food, right? Like and I see like a guy like, you know Like a stall like some kind of stall in India and I'm like, I would like to taste that but I'm not taking any chances You know what I mean? Yeah, that's even like Mexico Which I've had friends who go to Mexico and get completely fucked up and I would love to go

Starting point is 00:33:24 I'm gonna talk about Mexico cities like this Sickest city and one of the sickest cities and I'll probably end up going just because I do want to see it And it's close enough, but I worry about because I'm gonna eat I like to just go to a random cart and get some fucking al pastor You know yeah, dude the key you just need like a good enough. You need a good enough bathroom You need a good enough bathroom. Yeah, you can get naked and fall asleep on the floor Put your neck against the base of the toilet. Yeah, just fall asleep You know they have you know, I'm heated bathroom floors. They need cooled bathroom floors They need Mexico needs like cooled bathroom floors to to just lay your hot fat stomach on

Starting point is 00:34:01 You 12 18 hours when you have that food poisoning your lead in the hot water in the shower Hit your stomach and somehow that feels yeah Yes, absolutely, there's just nothing like that first drink of water you can actually keep down I mean, I guess in some ways I am prepared cuz I like I said most of my life. I've had diarrhea So, you know met for years of my life. I've had diarrhea Yeah, I mean I'm both right now. Sorry, one more. I mean, Elders back me up here.

Starting point is 00:34:30 That's kind of the existence of being fed as shit and indulgent. Yeah, I've had- And drinking and doing drugs. You're gonna be shitting constantly. I've had some crazy shits in my life. There's probably a four year span. You guys just don't hit a lot of fiber?

Starting point is 00:34:42 No, I mean- I don't know. I feel like you do shit more on the average stuff Yeah, like you you shit a lot throughout the day. I feel like I like in my last few years I've contained it to like one or two. Yeah, but yours are like an it's like an elephant The whole bowl is filled to the brim when Elvis is done I mean he would clog how many times on average did you clog this toilet in this apartment like four times a week? Not four times, but two sure it would get clogged

Starting point is 00:35:14 No, no elders had I mean they'll just had a system no super but there's been constant plumbing complaints Plumbing complaints. Yeah That's what we use that we used to have so many people in here and We were definitely I do think we were shitting so much It was affecting our downstairs neighbors like at one point like just shit water was falling from her ceiling She wanted to kill herself. Oh my god, and that hasn't happened since eldest moved out. I want to put that on the record That has not happened since elders moved out, but I want to put that on the record. That has not happened since Eldest moved out, but... That sounds like the worst exorcism of all time. Just shit coming down the road.

Starting point is 00:35:51 And that you feel bad, but it's like, well, thank God that it... Well, it stops off the road. But yeah, I guess not too much fiber. I mean, we were really not eating many vegetables, man. It's a lot of burgers ice cream Halal card halal car plenty of alone that I can't do that I had to stop that once I saw that video bro what video you see him capturing the pigeons Bro, right on Queens Boulevard Pull it up happen right on Queens Boulevard, bro

Starting point is 00:36:21 He straight up is in the halal cart comes out of it grabs a pigeon puts it in and goes back into the halal cart Bro right on Queens Boulevard like right by Junction. I know exactly what do you think you think he's serving bro? It was a big thing and made a few of the papers Caught cat. Yeah, this is the New York Post our Where I get most my post our premier where I get most of my premiere Coast Guard vet turns turned only fans model pleads guilty I'm actually more interested in that she looks pretty good dude I love that oh yes we just catches the men tried to get her managed to grab one shoving a plastic bag returning into the food

Starting point is 00:37:01 truck so yeah he literally put oh my god I can't believe what I just saw. I'm beyond disgusted. After that I saw him grab water and he was rinsing his hand and swishing water in his mouth. He was sticking his fingers in his mouth and scrubbing his teeth and fingers. Is she claiming he ate a raw pigeon? He did. Possibly. Oh man. I mean, I don't give a fuck. I'll still eat halal cart. I don't eat. I mean, I don't I I'm kinda I got the best of the best. Yeah, shut out the best of the best on Steinway and on Steinway and Broadway is here is boom Dude that's interesting. I'll take a number two

Starting point is 00:37:42 Say though I it's kind of in some ways It's nice that it's not a Chinese guy doing that you know what I mean I do think you immediately your mind you guys here. Hey, I wouldn't have brought it up. Yeah I really think and that guy almost looked even black I mean, I know he's probably Indian or Pakistani or something, but he did he look he did not you know I've seen you know you you imagine it's gonna be a Chinese a Food truck guy, but you know what not a lot of Chinese food trucks I'm out there how how often do you think you're actually eating the meat that like meat that you don't know you're eating

Starting point is 00:38:17 like oh Often right 25. I think I think it probably happened like now less because I just like get better But when I was dude when we first moved here, I was eating the worst lowest grade shit Yeah, now I'd like I actually do I've tried to spend a little money on eating better like I have Spent this year getting a little healthier, so I'm a little more cognizant, but yeah at fucking halal carts I mean the lamb what the fuck is that? Like the chicken at least I've never probably People think that's that's like traditional you don't meet too and it's like that shit supposed to be pork

Starting point is 00:38:56 Like when you go to a Greek place and they in the gyro is like that That's that's some like they invented that shit here in like the fucking 70s because it was just processed It's essentially baloney Right, it's lamb baloney that you're yes like like hot lamb baloney Yeah, and the real shit is is a poor is a pork. It's closer to it's actually very similar to al pastor that That's like motherfuckers who came from Lebanon. Yeah. Yeah Greek people it's kind of a similar thing all

Starting point is 00:39:25 the Christians from that area used pork is like you know the Muslims aren't using it so that's kind of where it it came from and that's good as fuck I could go for like I know I'm not ready I like that you know this much about food it's not just the taste I lock in so fucking much. I appreciate that. Folks, it's time to leave that crusty, big ass piece of shit leather brick wallet aside and get you a motherfreaking Ridge Wallet. That's right, we're talking unique, slim, modern design that holds up to 12 cards plus cash made with, you know, the best materials.

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Starting point is 00:40:42 That's neither here nor there When I'm out and about I got a nice little Ridge wallet that has you know eat like a pig for a week and gain five pounds back. That's neither here nor there. When I'm out and about, I got a nice little Ridge wallet that has, you know, or I'm sorry, a nice little Ridge backpack, the nice black Ridge backpack. Small enough for an everyday. They also have a duffel bag that you can take whatever. They got a whole line of them. You're going to love them.

Starting point is 00:41:00 No matter what you pick, Ridge has free shipping, a 99 day risk risk free trial and a lifetime warranty on all their products for a limited Time our listeners get 10% off at Ridge by using code Stavi at checkout Just head to Ridge comm and use code Stavi STA VVY and you are all set after your purchase They will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you There will be a moment in my like, I love what what you're doing, G. I would love to get in there and like do a food travel show at some point. That's that is something that I think I could crush. But it's travel does fucking like truly getting like what's been your most

Starting point is 00:41:41 annoying just getting there before you're even at a place? I mean, dude, just these long trips will be tough like I got in a fight with the like the lady at the counter and she Like made me check all my shit Basically there was some annoying rule about how much stuff you could bring and they like enforced it on me We're like nobody and like there's dudes with bowling balls at the gate So I accidentally checked my my AirPods for like 18 hours of flying. And I had a middle seat. Oh!

Starting point is 00:42:10 But he doesn't care about that shit. He'll book that. That's crazy. It was bad. Yeah, you can't be booking that, dude. Even when I, even like back in the day, I was doing everything to avoid a middle seat. I know, I know.

Starting point is 00:42:20 And then I tried to just be like, all right, well this is good. Like, you won't get too comfortable. I don't know, bro. Cause I'm used to like, if I'm if I'm flying to fucking wherever Buffalo like I know I'm gonna get upgraded first Yeah, so like if I'm on the international play that's not gonna happen and like my guy whatever This would be good for us or some French mindset You're in the trench I try you know cuz then you know it's nice to sort of overcome that and then do something sick Otherwise you get to do something unique because most people wouldn't be willing to do it.

Starting point is 00:42:45 I'm trying to like tap into that. I think that being in a middle versus an aisle seat upgrades your experience in fucking Africa or Afghanistan. I didn't do it on purpose. Yeah, I booked a seat where like you don't have to pick because it's cheaper. There's a reason. I know. I know. You can be in the fucking middle for 14 hours. It's expensive, you know what I'm trying to get? I'm trying to get this shit off the ground, bro.

Starting point is 00:43:07 Of course, of course. But yeah, so anyway, shit like that, or just being on the worst road you've ever been on in your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So that shit all sucks, but then you make it to the place and it's sick. So in theory, I find it to be worth it,

Starting point is 00:43:22 but I understand people's hesitation and why they don't want it. No, there is something to the, the journey to be worth it, but I understand people's hesitation and why they don't want no that is there is something to the Like the you know, the journey is part of it, right? It makes it way more fulfilling to be in a character building. I do agree with that to some degree You know, I don't want to do it when I'm going on vacation Sure, I mean like I don't consider these trips vacation your own work. It's like yeah, it's work But it's also like an adventure, you know, you mean like I'm because I like See the beach too. I like all different kinds of trips Yeah, there's a different time for like different stuff in my opinion and also different destinations where it's like if I go to Greece

Starting point is 00:43:53 I don't want to like Fuck I want to go to the islands and see the insane views and like you know, I mean, so I don't know whatever sorry, man It's tough out there. We don't want to make you feel bad AirPods my recent one and that was really fucking tough and just like when shit goes wrong it obviously sucks like Alright, I guess the thing I plan to do isn't happening like learning to like be able to deal with that and all that stuff Is I find it to be helpful. Yeah, you're like, we're going to Walgreens in Kenya. Are you gonna ask me? Do you always know where the embassy is while you're doing these trips? No, but you know, and sometimes there isn't one, which not always the best thing.

Starting point is 00:44:44 Yeah. You just want to make sure you're healthy going into that trip. You know and sometimes there isn't one which not always the best thing. Yeah you just want to make sure you're healthy going into that trip and You know hope nothing goes wrong Respect, you know usually there's like a it's an American in the next country. That was the deal in Afghanistan. Not ideal. You know what I mean? But, you know, more often than not, a place will be much better than you thought it was going to be. Totally, totally.

Starting point is 00:45:17 But shit happens, you know what I mean? So, I'm aware of that. And hoping, you know, it keeps going well. You're a married man now. Was your wife a big traveler? Like yes, but not the way that I am. And she doesn't like doing what I do. And being married makes it definitely harder to like, you know, be like, I'm doing this.

Starting point is 00:45:37 And it's like, oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That becomes a more difficult obstacle. Yeah. So I'm really just trying to make my shit a money generator before I have kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because at that point point it'll be like they'll just be able to hold the kid in front of my face So I'm not going yeah I'm gonna hate the kid. Yeah, it's gonna be bad

Starting point is 00:45:56 Just named after places you wanted to go Cutter this is my beautiful daughter cutter North Korea, Colorado. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's crazy this time of year. Yeah, dude, yeah, we'll see. How long, I'm the only bachelor in this room right now. A lot of three married men. How long, so wait, are you relatively recently married? Six months. Six months, oh nice, dude. How was the wedding? It was great. Yeah?

Starting point is 00:46:35 Really fun. That's good, nobody ruined it? Nobody ruined it. No, exactly the full? Ricky gave a great speech. Nice. Very fun. Rank the speeches, who did the best?

Starting point is 00:46:43 Wow. Dude, like, you know? Wow. There was, Dude, like, you know, like, there's a reason, like, you hold the fuckin', the comedian for the last speech. Of course, of course. You know what I mean? Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:55 I do feel bad when someone tries to, like, people will try and do, like, surprise speeches sometimes after, like, it's like, oh, and everyone's like sitting down and someone's just crushed and like, you know, I'd like to say something, and then like, have nothing prepared, just fucking blowing it.

Starting point is 00:47:13 That's always- I'm sure we speak from the heart real quick. I love that, dude. I love watching somebody bomb, because it's like, we know what they're about, what's about to happen. Because they see someone do something fun, they're like, that looks awesome.

Starting point is 00:47:24 Yeah. I wanna do that. The best one I've ever seen in that looks awesome. Yeah, I want to do that. One I've ever seen in my life. The best one I ever seen. Lewis Gomez doing Gary Veeders. Oh, hell yeah. It was fucking notorious. It's been spoken about on other podcasts, but he just like, dude, there's doctors in the room and he's like, you guys don't know what we go through. Oh, he's talking about how hard comedy is?

Starting point is 00:47:45 It's a brotherhood. It's good. Joe Les Soder, everybody, we're all just sitting at this table watching it. It's one of the best. I really hope they have it on tape somewhere. One of the best I've ever seen. That's so good, dude. His fucking shoulders up, his fucking bald head.

Starting point is 00:48:02 He looks like he was ready to fight. It was great. It was great. It was great. And it's not even about Gary. It's just about how hard it is to run a podcast studio. It was before gas started moving good. J&J was definitely about that. You have no idea how much hosting fees are.

Starting point is 00:48:19 There's many hidden costs. That's so fucking funny. Well, it's time, I think we should take a little bit of our expertise to the people, boys. Let's fucking, let's solve some fucking problems. Let's, you know. Tell this. Start it over. Yes. Tommy, tell this. Just being a guest. I'll keep it short.

Starting point is 00:48:46 Been dating this girl for about two years and I don't even know man, she's a bit childish. Getting upset about social media, ass cheeks on my feed. Some insecurities there and it's been an ongoing issue and I'm not sure if I'm just desensitized to all the social media stuff or if this is truly Going a bit too far and I need to seek greener pastures Now I know you might think that the casual ass cheek or two or side pity is just the norm but it's going as deep as you know cartoon characters popping up on my feet. I can't make the algorithm man. So what do you mean you do though?

Starting point is 00:49:38 You absolutely do make your algorithm. You are doing that. What it reacts to what you spend the most time on. He said, cartoons. I'm not even into this. Cartoons. So it's like horny cartoons. Let's keep going, I guess. Kind of a lame one, but a quick one. Where do you stand on lust and social media? Lust. Eugh. Not really pursuing that kind of thing, but it's even a thing but it's not pursuing lust on

Starting point is 00:50:06 social media bit of obscenity on my feed pops up and all hell breaks loose so should I see greener pastures is it really the big of an issue am I just he sensitized to it you tell me it's awesome that he's in greener pastures and what he's imagine what what greener patches are to him is that should I find a girlfriend that doesn't think it's weird that I'm looking at a real With Sandy from Spongebob with huge tits drawn on her It sounds like you might begin a little over and by the way, of course do I want a woman? I'm dating to see my feed. No I mean and maybe if I have maybe I was dating someone I would be less like dude my feed is like you you bring up

Starting point is 00:50:51 You know what happened to me constantly? I'll be like, oh, let me hit up my like especially now that we're like booking the podcast I'll be like I'll remember someone and I'll be like, oh, let me hit them up and I'll go to the Instagram I'll go to Instagram and I'll go to like to search the name hit them up and I'll go to the Instagram, I'll go to Instagram and I'll go to like, to search the name, but the search thing is the For You page and I will instantly just see Tits. And I will forget and I will just look at Tits

Starting point is 00:51:15 until I forget who I was gonna search and then I'll close it and then 20 minutes later, I'm like, oh fuck, I didn't even, I didn't message Julio. I'll bring it up again and literally, I'm not kidding, this happens to me me every this happens to me five times a day And I'm fully aware of it, and I'm like oh this time will be different But I just look at the tits every time shout out Zuckerberg, man That's what he's been trying to do

Starting point is 00:51:36 Tits are on every like I don't go looking for them either on Instagram, and they're just there Are you're tits or at my mind's ass, and I think it's okay to have I'm very tipsy a certain amount But when you're going to I'm doing it right now Started complaining I would just turn it into dudes to see what her reaction Dick print photo. Yeah. I will say this, though. How much do you have to be constantly looking

Starting point is 00:52:11 at this for a significant other to catch on? Because she's not over your shoulder looking at your algorithm. She might be. She sounds a little. Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, that's, I mean, you can also reset it. I don't know if you can get rid of the tits. No matter what, dude, you're gonna get someone

Starting point is 00:52:30 doing something as they bounce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, that's the one. And it's like, no, it's a little different if it's like a hot animated chick with a tail and fat tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I don't know if you can get rid of the tits. I mean, I think here there is, I have gotten rid of them, but it's taken like effort.

Starting point is 00:52:49 I have to like very specifically, and usually when I get rid of them, it's just like, oh, I happen to be watching a lot of like, highlights of like basketball, soccer, and football. That's the only two speeds my For You page has. It's either tits or it's like awesome goals. You know what I mean? Like seven foot 13 year olds dunking.

Starting point is 00:53:08 Yeah, yeah. And then obviously like a real, like steaks for a while. Like I'm really big on steaks. So it'll be like, I'll have like butchers in my feet. I'll have like rib eyes getting cooked, you know, that kind of stuff. That's the three speeds that I have. Now.

Starting point is 00:53:23 And then they'll throw some titties in there to, to get you back. Like now you're just. And if you don't immediately swipe up from the titties. You're in it. You're in there for good. Like bring me back to John Moran, donkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:36 Yeah. Now. This is tough though. Like if she doesn't get that. Well, I guess, I think this is a meat in the mid This seems like a textbook meat in the middle situation here If you are so addicted to not even porn but just looking at tits on Instagram That you can't dial it back a little bit to the point that it makes your girlfriend

Starting point is 00:53:59 Comfortable like this. She is she saying like you shouldn't be looking this at all Or is she saying like hey, what shouldn't be looking at this at all? Or is she saying, like, hey, what the fuck? Every time I look at your phone, you're looking at something weird and sexual. That makes me uncomfortable because you might have porn brain too much. And that is a real thing. Like you might be on your phone too much and be be looking at too much. Like, I definitely feel that where, like, when I'm on my phone a time, I'm like, like this week, Why am I like like this week?

Starting point is 00:54:25 We've been like podcasting a lot. I've been in the house. Like I'll just look at my phone for like 20 minutes I won't do anything good with it. I'll look at my phone I'll be like I need to do this like I feel like I need to do this less Does he not think that at all does he think I need to keep looking at more tits on the internet because like unclear 21st century, I think I think like just from how he's talking about her I feel like she is coming with some very aggressive like you know like looking at his shit what are you looking at energy that's weird got eyeballs on him maybe making moral judgments about his character because he's used he's he's saying the words

Starting point is 00:55:01 lust and obscenity yeah and that's the kind of shit an annoying bitch says like somebody Who's like religious like an annoying uptight religious girlfriend would say lust and obscenity like he as he said yeah Don't let her set those parameters don't admit to lusting on your Feed yeah being accused of lusting is that's some old-school like fucking Scarlet Letter type shit lust of lusting is that's some old-school like fucking Scarlet Letter type shit. Lust. So look if she's... What's weird is he's drawing the pictures. Yeah yeah yeah. It's videos of him dressed like that. Yeah I mean look dude you know this kind of thing is like you actually know the answer. The answer is what we all should take. Are you are you looking too much put down the phone for a little bit put down see if that fixes your yeah Yeah, yeah, that's a little bit. Yeah on the phone go outside take a walk. I

Starting point is 00:55:53 Agree, I'm trying. I'm trying to figure out ways to fucking you know get out I will make that oh, that's a goal of my son like my big summer project is be on my phone way less And I know that sounds stupid, but like that's gonna take me a month to even just wrap my head around. If you succeed. If I even succeed. So be realistic with yourself, man.

Starting point is 00:56:16 Are you in the goon zone too heavy? If you are, then she has a point. If you're not and she's uptight, then yes, maybe you can seek greener pastures. But your goal shouldn't be to find a... Like, the other thing is, part of a relationship is like, you do want someone who holds you to a little bit of a higher standard. You don't want to be, you don't want to devolve into who you would be without positive, you

Starting point is 00:56:40 know what I mean? Like, the animals you, all of you would be without your... I remember what a piece of shit you were without your wife how much she civilized you I was a great guy. I'm still a great Feral piece of shit You definitely you definitely look way more presentable, you know, you're not trying to squeeze into One size two small express clothing anymore Like a European he thinks he's like built like a Euro model. It's awesome.

Starting point is 00:57:07 His white. I'll hide baby. Yeah. I'll just think he's built like slender man. He thinks he's just like, he thinks he's Victor Wemba Yama. He doesn't realize he's six five, but also fat. Thin t-shirt daddy. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:20 Yeah. We've said it before, but our friend was dating someone who was like literally a star. He played college football. He was this college quarterback. He was like a, you know, Mr. He was like all American in baseball and football in high school, stayed kind of jacked. He was getting rid of some shirts and eldest who at the time was even fatter than he is

Starting point is 00:57:41 now was like, picked the shirt up and like held it to himself and like was about to even try it on it's like what the fuck are you? This guy is like look is here her boyfriend was jacked and he was like in great shape and I'll just in his head was like You know it's gonna be a little tight, but I think I can get in we're both excels more Excels what it's an excel Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was his line. We're both X-Sells. What? It's an XL. Just thinking of anyway. I wonder I wonder if this guy's girlfriend is just is a dumb bitch like does she get jealous? It's possible. It's very possible. Does she get like very jealous in other ways? But he's also like he sounds to me like this might just be dumb bitch versus dumb bitch here there's a guy who's like looking at like if if

Starting point is 00:58:28 Cartoon characters are starting to pop up on your fucking shit like horn horny cartoon yours not in a joking manner, right? Like I know you're big on Peter Griffin explains Islam elders I'll just loves AI Peter Griffin explaining him stuff But if you're if you're coming up with cartoons in a horny way And like they might just be the it's the immovable force versus the you know Unstoppable object or whatever and like they might both just be fucking idiots She might be too uptight and he might be way too much too much of a fucking you know gooner I don't know that's my read on the situation if we're wrong look maybe a little compromise what you know put the phone

Starting point is 00:59:08 down a little bit you know find other shit that you like if you're into cartoon if you're getting turned on by cartoons I assume like maybe there's train accounts or elevator accounts that you'd also like you know what I mean that kind of stuff so just fine in middle grounded, but you know if she's being like Puritanical about like because that's also weird like sometimes like people have called in and been like a woman has called in and be like I consider porn cheating that's insane That's why I mean like looking at tits a little bit especially when you're in a super long-term relationship And it's like oh, I'm looking at it at fucking Sydney Sweeney's real of Sydney Sweeney's

Starting point is 00:59:48 tits in a big like that's not cheating lady let's not get crazy you know what I mean like but you're gonna have to figure that out bud and he's putting a lot of blame on not himself totally he's a beautiful angel in this scenario not only it's his girlfriend it's the algorithm that's forcing him. Forcing him to look at Mrs. Incredible softcore porn. Alright, so good luck bud. Oh folks, summertime, that's the time to get the thighs out. You know what I mean? Show them off.

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Starting point is 01:02:41 So much fun. Thanks for coming. I just kind of had a question for you guys about my relationship with my dad. My parents split up when I was 16. My dad cheated on my mom with a 19 year old. Ooh, 19 is brutal. And is brutal. Somebody- 3 years older than you. You're 16 and your dad fucks a 19 year old? Like that's a double whammy.

Starting point is 01:03:14 That's really- anyway keep going. I wanna know how they met. There's so much to this. Probably in a really chill way. Probably in a really- in a way that makes her dad look even better. in a way that makes her dad look even better. In a way that makes her dad look even better Trying to tell him to get out He basically said he was burning our house down instead of leave

Starting point is 01:03:40 Emotional is the word you use for that. I got in like a big fight with him He's just really in touch with his feelings, you know He threatened to kill all of us because he got caught fucking a teenager. You know, the guy's just really centered in his emotions. But I know he didn't. And it hasn't affected my dating history at all either. Arsonist. Been like a big fight with him. Everything was pretty awful.

Starting point is 01:04:02 And now they've been split up. I'm 23 now, so they've been split up for a while, but my relationship with him never really recovered Yeah, the girls only 20 makes so much sense his mistress is only 20 so I don't think she's still in the picture Yeah covered and Now he's got kind of a separate family with his new why is and the same can't get any all that's in a one try to be a big family and they have get together like

Starting point is 01:04:39 every month and we just really don't talk he doesn't know anything about me and i think about him but every month it we just really don't talk. He doesn't know anything about me. I don't know anything about him. So every month it's just like pretend time, like, hey, how are you? How you been? What's going on? And I really don't know how to get over

Starting point is 01:05:01 the way he hurt my mom and the way he hurt me and our family. And it kind of bothers me because I feel like I would cut him off if I could, but he's also my dad. So just any advice on kind of getting through something like that with a parent or Trying to rekindle a relationship with them we were never super close to begin with but at least you know the relationship was better So anyways, that's all thanks. Bye. I know I See no reason to fucking you don't know I mean he's your dad obviously

Starting point is 01:05:40 But you say like you owe him something he owes you being a good parent He's the one who let you down. You're not letting him down He literally threatened to fucking burn your house down because he was cheating on your burn you alive Yeah, like that you're implied that he would burn you or maybe didn't directly say it, but he wasn't worried about it I'm a strange from my dad and we always like me and my older brother who no longer have contact with like and my wife Always talk about how it's just like people use that blood is thicker than water, but that doesn't give you Carbondle be an asshole to me Oh, and I feel bad for her because you can tell she feels a responsibility to keep this guy in her in her life

Starting point is 01:06:22 Yeah, and the truth is you don't he sounds like a fucking asshole totally totally Exactly, it's like I fully agree where it's like yes, it's important and in a perfect world You don't you want to have a good relationship with your family? But if a family member has been like, you know, you should like you said he really and by the way This is still relatively fresh. I mean, I know you're like, it's not that, I know 16, whatever, that's like seven years. Not that many years. Not that long.

Starting point is 01:06:52 I mean, especially because what's your mom's situation? This motherfucker completely cheated, threatened violence on your whole family, and then he seems to have landed on his feet fine. He's got another family family he's doing good now he wants to paper over all the fucking bullshit he did and it would be different if he was like I really fucked up I was in a bad place I wasn't happy with your mom I handled it in the absolute worst way I'm embarrassed of the threats of how I acted, the threats I made.

Starting point is 01:07:25 I really wanna earn your trust over time. But my guess is that's not what he's saying. He hasn't probably addressed it, and he just wants you to respect him because that's what he thinks he deserves. And he doesn't deserve shit. In fact, the blood is thicker than water stuff. It runs the opposite way too,

Starting point is 01:07:42 where it's like, you mistreated me right like you know like you should be more ashamed of mistreating me than i should be of not talking to you right especially when you're the kid and again he's the parent so but there's something with that generation man that the generation that raised us like they like never admit wrong yeah i mean i definitely am totally i mean no, no none of that. No looking within. It's just like it happened, it's passed. This is the rules of a family.

Starting point is 01:08:10 This is how it's supposed to work. And he wants you to be cool with him on his terms, which isn't cool. And that's exactly it, yes. The his term stuff. Like the only way that you would be able to do this is if you were like, hey, I really would appreciate an apology for how you behaved.

Starting point is 01:08:24 And then we can rebuild it. And see how he responds to that. My guess is, not well. You're not gonna get it. And by the way, if you don't get it, great. Because you get to set the terms of the relationship you want with him. And if there's certain things that would make you,

Starting point is 01:08:38 what would help you get over this? If he can do that, which I think an apology is a nice start, great, then maybe slowly over time, that starts to feel less hollow. Cause I know what she's going through, right? The pretending stuff. I had a big issue with that with my dad too. He would act one way in our house,

Starting point is 01:08:56 and then he would put on a different face out in public or whatever. And it would be like, that would drive me crazy. And it would be like, I can't, I'm not engaging with you in this fake reality that you've created But there's something to that that I don't think she knows as a 23 year old where it's like you don't realize your parents aren't like The smartest people you know right right like you know that for a long time where I thought like oh They're right coming. They're my parents. Am I right and then you realize oh, they're fucking guessing just as much as you are

Starting point is 01:09:29 And that guy thought banging a 19 year old was the answer at one point Dude my favorite part I think about this or like the most interesting part is like this person listens to like many episodes of stop just being like dude, I've had a lifetime of diarrhea and they're like I'm gonna ask him about my father. It's probably eight years. I don't know about a lifetime, but if we were to aggregate it, it's probably about eight years of diarrhea,

Starting point is 01:09:55 which out of 36, not that bad. Not great, not horrible. But yeah, I mean, she's also's also so young I mean you're like like I I have a similar relationship with my dad and now at 36 after a lot of stuff I am trying to get that relationship going again, but it's only because I asked for certain things he didn't budge for a decade and maybe he got older or whatever He just was like saw his mortality in the like in the rearview mirror sneaking up on I don't know what it was But he seems to be making some kind of effort and that's all I really that's ultimately all you want because yes

Starting point is 01:10:37 We all want our dad we everyone wants their dad to be in their life But you just you want it to be in a way That's actually helpful for you and not in a toxic fucked up situation So you shouldn't feel bad at all cutting your father off I think The I think the best thing to do would to be to for you to really think about What you would need from him to feel like you can have an actual relationship And you are well within your rights to ask for that stuff,

Starting point is 01:11:07 an apology, whatever, you know, seeing, you know, him checking up on you from time to time. If he wants to invite you to these big barbecues that everybody's there and you take a big picture about how happy your family is and post it on Instagram or whatever the fuck he's getting out of it. If you wanna do that, what do you need for that? You can ask him for that. He probably getting out of it. If you wanna do that, what do you need for that? You can ask him for that.

Starting point is 01:11:25 He probably won't do it, but you can at least know, this is what it would take for me to have a real relationship after how much you hurt me and my mom. And stick to that, set your boundaries, stick to it. And if he doesn't wanna meet you there, you don't owe, you really don't owe him anything. He's the one who owes you. He brought, you didn't even fucking want to exist if we're being honest

Starting point is 01:11:47 This is my like that parents really force Sentience on all of us and they should fucking they're supposed to be your caregivers are supposed to set you up for for like, you know Set you up for life not make life harder and set up all you know Give you a bunch of issues and shit. So, you know, good luck that sucks But you you don't have to go to anymore of his shitty barbecues if you don't want to 100% All right, what's up starburst eldest and whatever guest is on today. I got probably what might be a niche issue for the show Uh, my problem is is that and i'm not joking dude. This is a real thing. I've dealt with for years upon years My big game is a little bit too good right and I'll lay it out for you

Starting point is 01:12:38 Making chicks come and I don't come quick and Pretty much every time. I mean I bring a woman to completion. It's not an issue For me at all. This is just not Don't I don't have a huge dick. I just I just make a work penetrative intercourse You've made a every woman you fuck come that's not and you don't have like some kind of huge dick that hits the spot I just don't believe you but let's keep going. I just I just make it work. You know what I mean? and my problem is is that I

Starting point is 01:13:12 Feel like the chicks I'm hooking up with only fuck with me because I have good dick game So I might have like a good day like I'm a personable guy, you know I have a good day. You so far well second day comes around so on so forth take her home It's like it could be well understood that it's like this is kind of casual and then I lay it down and Then not this day is cool Good morning and then next day, girls texted me good morning. By the way, you're completely contradicting yourself. Because before you were talking about, they're just using me for my magical but average size

Starting point is 01:13:52 cock. And now you're saying, well, we could have said it was casual, but now they're texting me good morning. It's like, which one is it, you fucking idiot? You're just bragging about something that I don't believe to be true. But anyway, keep going. You know, heart emojis, shit like that, and they're like invested. And I think my problem is, fundamentally, is that I yearn to be one of these men that's

Starting point is 01:14:17 going to be a bad dick for a living. What is that? No one sings bad dick for a living. Regardless of it. You already know. First of all, pause this. No one knows who you mean dude. You have, can I tell you something?

Starting point is 01:14:28 If this was true, and it's not, but if this was true, I promise you, you have a lot of deficiencies otherwise that they will be getting over. Like, your personality, the fact that you're a braggart who has no, who makes no sense. I mean, it's just like, you're not that fucking cool And you don't fuck good enough to get over the rest of like are you rich? Do you have a good career? Are you handsome otherwise like are you perfect all across the board because I can't believe I'm explain Okay, let's say for a second that we believe him and your dick

Starting point is 01:14:59 You're rating if you're a car if you're a video game character you have five out of five dick right Personality three at most at most right probably two if I just from talking Looks are you a five? I don't know probably. We don't we who knows maybe What's your other situation? Are you like I said are you secure? You know? Are you at five there? Probably not. People have different things to offer, you fucking idiot. So like, I don't even understand what this question is other than an excuse to brag, but since Eldis is bad at producing and shows this question,

Starting point is 01:15:38 let's at least finish it. I would love to be able to just like not make a chick cum and her be like, this guy's so cool that I want to spend the rest of my life with them and I just I just don't know what to do about this like I'm definitely someone that wants to like have kids like Do you understand human beings? You're not allowed to fuck those kids According to you, you have the best chance of having kids on earth

Starting point is 01:16:08 Dude all my kids are gonna wanna get dicked out by me man They're gonna wanna suck my, my daughter's gonna wanna suck my cock It's every woman My wife is gonna tell my kids how good my dick is And then the kids are gonna be sitting in my living room Dad please dig me down Please daddy, please. I got straight A's because I was promised

Starting point is 01:16:29 you'd fuck me if I did good, if I got a good report card, papa. This is the last girl's dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. That's what this is turning into. You are so out of your mind delusional, it's fucking crazy. Okay, it's possible this guy is

Starting point is 01:16:45 good at sex right fine but that doesn't mean like that's just one good quality you have you have to pass around like that do they I mean look you're not gonna you're not gonna be less likely if the other thing is let's say you like someone right let's say I went on a date with a girl I was like she was really cool and then we fuck and she's got incredible pussy. You think I'm less likely to date her because of that? Like what the fuck are you even talking about? That's a big thing that's like,

Starting point is 01:17:13 you're just talking about I have a positive attribute that women would like in a relationship. It makes you a good candidate. So what are you, you're just bragging. You're not too good, you don't fuck so good that women can't wrap their head around Trapping your cock long term if you are actually this good at fucking they would want to date you and it would enhance everything like look I know I I get pussy. I it's not cuz I'm fucking handsome and

Starting point is 01:17:39 Svelte, you know, I mean I'm a good listen. I'm not a bad-looking guy I'm ugly, but I'm svelte you're right. There's a story But that's the thing we all I get the fuck because of It's I leave my personalities at five out of five dick. We're talking, you know, we're at three You know what I mean proceeding but let's bump that up. But anyway three five. Yeah but like, you know, we all have a mix of stuff and Who you are the the collective of who you are is what people are attracted to and I they don't collective of him is gonna Be tough. He gives me yes. You're just annoying kid rich kid in small town. Yeah, I'm like

Starting point is 01:18:30 I fucked every girl how many girls have you fucked for real right? He's also talking like the way like a guy who's rich who's like I girls only like me for my money Of course, this is not how this works what he said totally It's like like there's never been a like he's painting a picture where girls like I guess I'll go home with this guy And then she fucks him and she's like oh my god. That's not happening Yeah, he has a lot of money, or he has a payment plan for like an ice like an ice bath This guy does cold plunge you're absolutely right

Starting point is 01:19:03 Such bullshit sounds like when like when somebody's like, my weakness is that I work too hard. Exactly, exactly. It's like a bullshit. And listen, I know I do have the, I have had the thought sometimes where I'm like, I do envy not funny guys because sometimes, only for a brief moment, because if a dud makes a woman laugh, she wants to fuck him. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:19:26 But like, I can make someone who hates me laugh. You know, and so I, there have been moments in my life where I'm like, I'd love to have that, there's no clearer sign that a woman's into you than if you're not funny and she's laughing at you. And I don't get to know that, because you know, generational talent over here. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:19:42 So, the same, this is what this guy might be saying with his dick, it's like, you might have an above-average dick right but there's no there's no way you can and even in those moments I'm like oh it'd be nice to know but like I would never trade being funny to just know if a girl likes me you would never trade having this mythical prick to just have to just be like well if a girl was able to get over how bad I was at fucking then I Know she'd really loved me, which is ridiculous. That's crazy, dude. So anyway, we're not even gonna finish this question cuz I actually hate him Zip code

Starting point is 01:20:23 So yeah, um... Incredibly stupid. That pisses me. That guy pisses me off. And the fake humility too is the worst part. It's like, look I swear it's just such a problem for me. I want kids. Yeah I want kids. My dick's too good to have kids.

Starting point is 01:20:42 Hi, Stav and Guest. I have a question regarding relationship timelines on when it's right to think about moving in with someone. I've only been close to it once with a previous boyfriend, but that ended. And currently I'm dating someone I feel very confident about this relationship. He treats me so well and we have such Similarities and hobbies and things that we like we don't like and he comes from a good family has a great job I'm finishing up grad school right now, and I'm about to have an amazing job as well nice, and I just don't know how long I should wait

Starting point is 01:21:27 until moving in together seems like a logical idea. I know that my roommates who just recently moved in with her boyfriend now, they've been dating for like five years, but granted that was like a college relationship going into adulthood. And this is someone I someone I my current boyfriend I met in adulthood so I'm like okay five years seems like a good decent time but I don't know if I'm rushing things we've been dating for like a little over a year now and I'm

Starting point is 01:21:58 like all right should I wait one more year and then see how things progress I feel like it's too early but I just wanted to know your thoughts on overall a good timeframe to move in. Thank you. I'll defer to everybody else's marriage. I'll defer to you guys. I don't know. Do you have thoughts on this?

Starting point is 01:22:15 I have general thoughts. I mean, yeah, like, like whatever you, if you think it's the right time, it's the right time. I mean, in theory, if we had to objectively be like, is a year long enough? Like probably. Yeah. And like, if you feel good about it, I don't think that there's any sort of arbitrary guidelines you need to adhere to. Like it sounds like you guys are trying to get in a good position, a good direction.

Starting point is 01:22:33 The good point about the adulthood thing. Yeah, I mean, definitely. Like you're more secure with who you are type of thing. I don't see any reason why it would be a bad idea. I just think jump right in. Why not? What do you got to lose? You'll find out real quick. Yeah. Right.

Starting point is 01:22:48 At least you'll speed up the process. Just find out real fucking quick. Yeah, that is true. Don't waste the time anymore. Especially if you feel like you're in that adult space. I say wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think one-

Starting point is 01:22:58 One to me seems a little quick, but go ahead. It sounds like they're probably in their mid-20s. It'd be different if they were 30 right like if they were 30 But like grad school to me is like ah maybe one years a little fast If you're 24 25 26 or something like just you know you want to he knows you want to to But well he may not who knows I mean maybe that's not a year really Let's also think about let's break it down right because when you start dating someone Tell you see them every week right like or maybe you do I don't know like when you're when you're maybe these people are different

Starting point is 01:23:34 They went on a date and they knew and they've been seeing each other You know a couple times a week for a year That's different than because there's people that like you date for three months You've gone like four dates in those three months Yeah, right, right, right. So I guess that matters too. But anyway, I'm sorry to cut you off. Yeah, I don't know uh, I Think you should probably just wait another year Just hold it in and you know figure out some other living arrangement at the same time

Starting point is 01:23:57 Like, you know, if you really feel it strongly you could bring it up to him And I don't think that would necessarily like scare him off or anything if he doesn't want to but you know make your intentions known or something and worst case scenario he could be like ah I don't know if now's the right time but yeah oh yeah just feels a little too short yeah you were the king of like being like I still want to be in a serious relationship and I want this but I'm not ready for these miles to like you were hilarious So I was like what I can't believe a woman is listening they'll just be like I'm in this for the long term But I need a little more time. It's like for what you fuck, but anyway, it's worked out for you now

Starting point is 01:24:39 I just got a hope one of my friends get successful by accident so that I can have a job And we're waiting for that. But you were, to your credit though, you would, it actually helped me because I'm definitely somebody who has anxiety about relationships. And I did, as much as I'm busting your balls about it, I respected that because I've definitely been in situations where I've dated someone and they want to move it forward. And it's been a little soon for me but I did like them and I was like hey this doesn't mean I'm not

Starting point is 01:25:10 into this relationship it's just like give me a little more time. I wish I had kind of had the like you know I'd been able to say it instead of just getting freaked the fuck out and like damaging the relationship so I agree, maybe you get one of those conversations and also she's saying she's about to graduate, she's about to have a great job. It's not the worst thing in the world to be, you're gonna have shit to worry about other than your relationship.

Starting point is 01:25:35 Like it's not the worst thing in the world to feel a maybe a little more established in your career. Like give it six months at this amazing new job, make sure you really like it. And then, and then. Kill probation period. Totally, and then who knows? Maybe you guys have two incomes, you get a sick place. That makes life easier, you know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 01:25:53 So, but yes, the caveat that I think we've all given is that like, you're still old enough to know. I mean, you're in your mid-20s and you really click with someone. It's not like you're a fucking child bride. You know what's going on. You're ready, you're in your mid-20s and you really click with someone. It's not like you're a fucking child bride. You know, what's going on You're ready you're not yeah, you're not Yeah, you're ready to go if you're feeling that way and I think just having the conversation about your intentions and about being getting more serious I think that's a good first step and feeling out his timeline

Starting point is 01:26:21 But if you're both clicking not necessarily too early, but that's the hard thing with this stuff I think as a hard and fast rule I would say give it a little more time if you're in your early to mid 20s But there's these things are there's always exceptions and the other thing is like he's a young guy, right? I think they're about the same age If his life is dope adding you to it has to just make it doper That's what I always tell my people that are like still single. Yeah, I still like looking it's like yeah If it's it's bringing down your life

Starting point is 01:26:53 Right in any way she no, I think that's true to it, bro Well, that was a big thing for me where I was like I didn't even consider the fact that relationship could improve your life Which is so just tells you how fucked up all the like every really everyone like dude everyone that I grew up with their parents Had bad relationships. Yeah, everybody like I there was not one good one was like that's what I want It literally didn't dawn on me like my therapist was like why don't like the rest of your life's pretty good Are you interested in being a ration? I was like, well, I'm fucking busy Like I got any and he was like, and I'm making, you know, saying excuses.

Starting point is 01:27:27 Like, you know, if you were in a relationship with someone you love, that would all become easier, right? And I was like, what? Yeah, that's true. Whoa, that's crazy. So, you know, if that's the case, you're good to go. Totally. And I would say it's low risk too.

Starting point is 01:27:41 Like even if you were to move in together and it were to not work out, it wouldn't be because you moved in together problem, right? Yeah, I mean like that was probably gonna happen anyway, and either way you got to find that you gotta find this bridges Yes, you know, there's like the relationship pyramid and it's like you guys are good enough for this like find out how much you're how High you can climb totally Good luck. Sounds good You know summer is a time of rejoicing and having a Good luck, sounds good. You know summer is a time of rejoicing and having fun, but it's also unfortunately the

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Starting point is 01:29:31 Pesty offers a hundred percent bug free guarantee or your freaking doll arias back if the bugs don't go away They'll give you a full refund now is the time to protect your home from bugs with Pesty go to Pesty.com Pest ie dot com slash stavie stavie y for an extra 10% off your order That's Pest ie dot com slash stavie for an extra 10% off Yo, first of all love the show. I love watching it So I got a question about a girl that I am about to propose to. So I'm a divorced dad, early 30s. And I love her. She's amazing. But the only thing I have a small reservation about is I feel like she loves me. But I have two kids, seven and four.

Starting point is 01:30:27 She doesn't always love coming around with the kids who are there. I'm like, all right, you want to be together? You want to get married? But you don't love coming around with the kids who are there? I want you to be a part of her life I want you to be their stepmom maybe even a mom mom at some degree so should I be concerned about this yeah should I say something should I just let it ride because really they're not her kids. Like, I don't know. Let me know what's cool. Alright, peace. Yeah, I mean, this is absolutely a conversation you have to have. I mean, I know it sucks

Starting point is 01:31:14 because it puts a damper on the romance, right? Like, I feel for this guy because it's like, he probably is in a place where he's like, fuck, I love this woman, everything's perfect, I don't wanna have to sort of like stop the momentum of like, if I didn't have kids, this is a no brainer, I'm gonna fucking whatever, but it's like, you do have kids, and they're your priority, even more so than your new wife, right? Like, at least I hope so, that's how it should be. And it's kinda like, it's kinda like having to like,

Starting point is 01:31:44 you know, yeah, you just have to, you'd like it to be just it's kind of like it's kind of like having to like uh you know yeah you just have to you'd like it to be just a purely romantic moment but even with proposing with someone i do feel like you have to have like conversate along the way you're having conversations about your relationship and seeing if you guys are on the same page with your big values you know i mean like all All couples have to have that, do we want kids? Do you want to, you know, if you meet in New York, a lot of people move to New York, but then they want to move back home. You have to have that conversation.

Starting point is 01:32:13 Where do you want to live? Where do you see yourself? Just your general values. Do you align on religion? Just this shit. And I feel, I don't know, maybe you guys did or didn't have these conversations or at least you just kind of, it was just natural and you felt it out along the way

Starting point is 01:32:29 just by getting to know and spending so much time together. But if this is, if this feels like a question mark to you, how she feels about, if you're like, she might be ambivalent about my children, you need an answer to that. You need an answer. You can't just be like, it need an answer to that. You need an answer. You can't just be like, it can't be question mark. I wish there was more example.

Starting point is 01:32:49 I wish there was like how he was like, hey, come over this weekend. And she's like, you got the kids? Yeah, yeah, right, right, right. And I was like, yeah. And she's like, I'm good. I'll see you Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:33:00 Right. Totally, totally. What time they get dropped off from school? What time? I don't know, that's it. I mean, I feel like guys that are dating with kids, anybody that's dating with kids should have like, almost like a tag deer, you know? You're just like, no, going into it what you're doing.

Starting point is 01:33:17 Yeah, it just, I don't know, it just feels like something you can't leave up to chance. Agreed. You gotta have the combo. You have to have an explicit combo, and you would like for it to chance. Agreed. This is something you have to have an explicit combo. And you would like for it to not need a combo. You'd like for her to be like, you know, maybe she like buy them little toys and be happy to see them and not want to spend all her time with them.

Starting point is 01:33:37 But when she sees them, she's a nice presence there, right? Like, but what would it be on her? What if she shows up and the kids are like you're not my mom No, you're right. And that is that but that's also problem, right? I'm a problem there too. Yeah, so yeah, dude And I get that this conversation can be tough because there's a world where she'll be like, what do you mean? I like them. Yeah, I mean and like I still think you can work beyond that because you beg alright Well, I feel like sometimes maybe there's hesitation or whatever like I don't know like you just have to have this combo and then

Starting point is 01:34:09 you know make the point that you could see yourself being with her and Just want to make sure and does the environment I'll work on it completely with the heads there Like do you not like hug her or cuddle with her? I kids are in the liver like is it right because that's the type of shit would make me stop showing up. Yeah, I mean I do think that's like, this is the kind of thing that has to grow. Like I get not getting your kids, like if you're somebody who's dating with and you're a single parent or co-parenting or whatever, I think it makes sense to get to know the person first and decide whether they're eligible to meet your kids, but once they meet them, after that,

Starting point is 01:34:51 and it's getting serious, you kind of want a relationship to form there, and if you feel like that hasn't happened at all and there's no even chance of that happening, that would scare me personally a little bit. How can you even say you love her truly? Yeah? I mean your I mean your final. Yeah, like I thought your fucking dog Guessing if they like my kid yeah, totally doesn't always love coming around yeah, I don't know

Starting point is 01:35:17 It's a little tough and maybe this and and and maybe you know he just really likes her is really attract her He's head over heels but it's like it seems like he does because the fact that he's even considering this yeah because he just he didn't even say did he say I'm thinking about proposing or is like I'm about to propose I'm about to propose dad dude you can't you can't have I wouldn't have even bought the ring if I don't know how she feels about my kids. You know what I mean? Like, hey real quick, I got a question to ask you, but you like my kids right?

Starting point is 01:35:51 Just on a knee about to open the thing up. She's like, oh yeah, yeah, whatever, whatever. You're dating me and my kids at this point. I can't get engaged without my kids knowing how my kids feel about this. This guy needs to reevaluate what he's putting in front of she might have good pussy to the other guy who's talking about having to get her in the dick guy yeah it's like maybe that's part of it but I would also say something would give me even a little more pause is that you should have some idea because let's say you have a conversation and it really clearly feels like a precursor to marriage who's to say she's not gonna

Starting point is 01:36:29 pretend she's into your kids just because she wants to get married and then she might be kind of a shitty stepmom like you should have from like show don't tell she should show how she feels about your kids to me The natural way she interacts them is actually more important than the words She says when you directly ask her about it. You know what I mean? Yeah, you convinced me this guy should not get proposed I mean, yeah Unless proposed unless he's been a little unless he's been like he hasn't been clear and like maybe she's just Prefers to go out whatever but it's like, you know, I don don't know but yeah he's telling her it's his brother and sister yeah so real quick my mom gonna come pick him up in a little bit yeah new young kids you

Starting point is 01:37:16 know you mean like they can without a doubt it seems like they're an age where it might even be theoretically easier than if they were like 13 no it's definitely easier to get a seven and four year old to like you. Get you on board. Yeah, I mean, there's a kind of an age where it's like it doesn't matter anymore. Like if you have like fucking teenage kids,

Starting point is 01:37:35 who really gives a fuck? Right, right, right. You know what I mean? Like that kind of sucks and in a perfect world, you should, but ultimately they're about to be out of the house. This is not that. Totally. This is not that totally

Starting point is 01:37:45 This is not that she's gonna be around for there the rest of their you know childhood and early adulthood So this is more unique almost yeah, it is So good luck man really think about it and kind of listen to what we said and doctor and be honest with yourself Fuck did I have to shit again? Sorry, I left a little bit of context on the last call. Me and my girlfriend have been arguing about this hypothetical scenario for a little bit. We just recently became friends with this other couple. They are in a different tax bracket than us. We are still in school. They're a little bit further along in life They definitely make a good living The hypothetical is

Starting point is 01:38:31 If they offered to take a funny paid vacation that they say paid for Hold on a second You and your girlfriend have been argued you made a friend. We've made rich friends girlfriend have been argued you've made of for you've made rich friends and you're arguing you're arguing over Whether you would accept a free paid vacation from them. Why the fuck is this even coming up? I get it I really yeah, really dude. Nothing's free. I know I know but like this how you end up in what? But does this even fucking happen yeah, yeah, yeah and like suddenly you're in this like weird, unbalanced relationship where you're like,

Starting point is 01:39:08 you're the greatest and I'll do anything you want to try to make up for this without actually saying it. And the other person just is like, starts being disrespectful to you and shit. Yeah. I don't know, like it's a weird dynamic. I guess I just never, like the only people I've even considered is like, if we went out,

Starting point is 01:39:22 like I even think, like if we went to like Greece or wherever and I Got a place. I literally wouldn't charge you to live to fucking stay there because it's like who cares Yeah, but now what you're doing in Greece. He's doing because no no We're I guess what I'm saying is I would only do it for my absolute best friends, right? Where there's no question about this being reciprocal at all, right? I would never do it for, like if I was dating someone and we met a cool couple, I'd never be like,

Starting point is 01:39:47 why don't you guys, why don't I pay for your, like I don't like them that much. You know what I mean? There's a level of wealth of that though. I guess you're right, I guess you're right. There's a little more context. Let's try to get somebody to take you on vacation. It depends on the friend, obviously.

Starting point is 01:39:58 Yeah, yeah, true, true, true. Somebody bring Stav out on vacation. Yeah, yeah. He's down. I guess that's, let me not get ahead of myself. I'm just wondering what the fuck's going on. But go ahead, Elvis, sorry. Paid vacation that they paid for.

Starting point is 01:40:12 I don't know if it's more rude to accept the offer or decline the offer. Or if it's rude at all. Basically, the context that I left out is that they are definitely the type of couple, like the type of people to do this. They're very giving, they're very nice. They've also flirted with the idea of us going on group vacations and they know that we are not in the financial stage of our life to be able to do that. So I think that it's a very realistic conversation that we might have with them,

Starting point is 01:40:45 but my girlfriend thinks that under no circumstance whatsoever would we accept that offer. She does not feel comfortable with other people paying for us when it's that large of an amount of money. And I do agree with her. Like I don't like the idea of someone paying for like thousand dollars for us I think that it would be like I think that I would initially say like no like we can't have like we can't accept that but On the flip side. I feel like it's a little

Starting point is 01:41:20 Rude to the client an offer like that there's someone is like bringing you a gift and They I Just like if someone brings you a gift and you decline the gift. It's kind of rude to do something like that It's not I think that if they understand the financial implications, they know How much money it costs, but they don't care. Like they know we can't pay for it. They just want us to come along with them and share the experience.

Starting point is 01:41:49 Part of me feels like it's rude to say no. I don't like the idea of degrading the friendship to a monetary perspective, but I also don't like the idea of someone paying thousands of dollars for me. So I would love your perspective. I know you guys are well-off how would you feel if somebody said no if you offered them a

Starting point is 01:42:11 vacation I'm just not offering anyone like this I mean I just there's no world where I would but you're right there are there's like again this if it's not my best friends in the world where there's not like yeah I fucking have money so I get my the people that knew me when I had nothing I Feel no problem giving them very generous gifts, but new people in my life I don't do that I just feel like it is weird because it does there is a weird like money some because I don't want to feel you don't Want them to feel like they're your little plaything for the fucking week. Totally. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:42:45 You're almost like an emotional sex worker. It's like a friendship prostitute. You know what I mean? There's also part of it where they don't look at money at all the way these two people look at money. That's very possible. And it's a lot about experience and it's all about, it has nothing to do with the cash or the money.

Starting point is 01:43:03 It's just like time and expense with people they want to be around. And I agree with you, but I think you can't take that chance because I think most people with this level of wealth aren't like that. You know what I mean? It depends. It depends who they are.

Starting point is 01:43:17 And also, first of all, it's not rude to decline. It's definitely not rude. I don't feel comfortable with this. I think it's- We can't contribute. I think it's crazier to accept personally. I think if I didn't have the money and somebody asked me this,

Starting point is 01:43:29 I think I would just, I agree with his girlfriend where it's like, and what you said earlier, nothing's free. Like nothing's really free. You're going to have to do what they wanna do. You're going to have to, and like-

Starting point is 01:43:40 And that might be fine. How much do you know about these people? Are they swingers? Yeah, that's, no, I'm just for real. There's real chance to that. The implication. there's other things that I would have checked before I Absolutely took that trip, but they don't if they're offering that it's either they don't look at money the same way you do or There's something else that they're about to pull it's like to them

Starting point is 01:44:02 It's like there is the possibility to them. It's just like buying a burger. It's like to them, it's like, there is the possibility that to them, it's just like buying a burger. It's not a big deal. It's like, who cares? But even then, they don't, the person taking you on the trip doesn't, so I've been in this situation a lot of times, by the way. Gee, he's been in this situation. Oh, interesting, interesting.

Starting point is 01:44:17 I have, I have. So the thing I find interesting is that the person being generous doesn't realize what might happen once they're not in a good mood or the way that their mind might change. They don't realize what might happen once they're not in a good mood or the way that their mind might change. They don't realize that. So you're putting yourself in a position where it might become uncomfortable for you when they're in a bad mood and like now you suddenly suddenly it's a little

Starting point is 01:44:37 different. So like it's okay to initially push back and a person who like understands that the dynamic is weird there is the type of person who gets it and can put all of your fears to the side and then there's a world where you could theoretically take the chance and you bring them a nice gift, you pay for dinner one of the nights and in theory that can be fine but it has to be the right person. You really got to thread the needle on that. But I'm telling you like buying the dinner can be a problem in those situations where they don't want you to spend the thing or that agreed or Contributing the dinner is still way more money than you can contribute. Yeah. Yeah, which then you're like I went on this great vacation

Starting point is 01:45:15 They paid for me. I felt like a loser and I spent more money than I could yeah, and you have in every category Well, it's like it's like it's like the fucking the talented mr. Ripley You know me have you seen that movie where it's like yes where it's like it's like it's like the fucking the talented mr. Ripley You know me have you seen that movie where it's like yes where it's like yeah He's like yeah, sometimes rich friends are awesome until they're in a bad mood All right, or they just use you as they see you as a play thing or something like that And I do think there's definitely people with that kind of wealth that are nice But I think more than often than not it's they're fucking weird sociopaths I just think like

Starting point is 01:45:46 Statistically speaking if you're like it like and then again. I'm just saying I would never do it. I had one I had one where the guy Invited me to go somewhere, and he wouldn't invite my wife. I mean that's crazy, and that's where I was trying to That's crazy. And that's where I was just trying to f*** you. You should. Okay. Dude, that was insane. Not inviting your wife's insane.

Starting point is 01:46:10 And I asked. And that's what I'm talking about, dude. That's like, I'm just saying, the more money people get, the f***ing weirder they get, man. And selfish in ways they don't even realize. You know what I mean? If you're somebody who's had every need tended to them their whole your whole life you just don't you're right they don't even know that they're being weird open no can

Starting point is 01:46:33 turn these people off completely totally the rich people can never talk to them again but you know what but if that's the case you've dodged a huge bullet and and they're not going to say it would be like a obviously totally. But like the more likely situation is just be honest and don't be like a loser about it. Don't be like a moper. Be like, look, we don't feel comfortable accepting this trip and like we're still students or whatever. He said, like, and we're just like not in a place to go on a trip like that,

Starting point is 01:46:58 as you know, and it's really generous of you to offer. But I don't think we feel comfortable accepting. At that point, the guy might counter and say something that makes you feel comfortable. Or, and here's the other thing, like let's say I was in a situation like this for whatever, let's say I found somebody new that I wanted to take on vacation platonically, right? And they were like, I'm not, you know, the expensive thing is too crazy. What if you counter and you're like, well how about I get a fucking house on the lake it's like you drive up don't worry about I'll pay for the airbnb bring some hot dog like if it's really about hanging out you can have a great time and like we'll do something cheap where it's like instead of it being a ten thousand dollar gift it's like it's an eight hundred dollar gift and

Starting point is 01:47:41 I'm going to the by the way I'm going going to the fucking lake house. Anyway, you show up you don't show up No, it brings some fucking will grill or something like that Maybe there is a middle ground there where it's like if you really just want to spend time with each other They would be willing to fight to find something that's like kind of acceptable. Right, right, you know, but With G here. I think it like this isn't a very rare thing. Interesting. Yeah. And it's really not as rare as you think it is. And there's a there's a like movies about this.

Starting point is 01:48:11 There's this movie with Brigitte Bardot from the 60s where like Brigitte Bardot and I think it's called Contempt. I'm not I don't remember specifically, but like they invite the couple on vacation. And basically by the end of it, the like the dude hosted them ends up like banging the dude's wife. Yeah, of course. But that's what I'm talking about what exactly this is not good even if it's not rare it's fucked up that's my contention you know I mean like it's out there because rich people super rich

Starting point is 01:48:36 people are fucking freaks that's why it's not rare and they want to do fucking weird shit sometimes and that's why I think like I guess I haven't really experienced it but I just I haven't really experienced it, but I just, I wouldn't, it's the funny thing to get rich after being poor your whole life. I don't have rich brain, but I just have money. And to me, I'm like, this is fucking crazy.

Starting point is 01:48:56 I would never fucking do this. Their heads are in the right place. Like the fact that you have that instinct to begin with makes me think you could His girlfriend's head is in the right place. He's like, huh? Come on. It's rude Yeah, this guy's like I'm trying to go to the Bahamas Who cares who cares And they were on the beach Galatas you could probably get away with going on this trip and having it not be a big deal

Starting point is 01:49:22 But like don't make a habit of it because eventually the weird power balance is going to emerge yeah I mean I'm I just am I'm on it's not rude you're doing mental gymnastics because you want to go on the trip your girlfriend is the only one with her head straight over their head on straight and she probably also knows that if somebody's nothing's free and if somebody's got to pay the piper, I think she knows who it is between the two of you. It would be weird not to blow him, baby. It would be funny if they get there and they just want to peg him and he's like, fuck.

Starting point is 01:49:53 I thought I was gonna fucking slut out my wife, but now I'm getting slotted out? What the fuck? He was like, well. This sucks. Slut out my wife is nuts. Yeah. I was recently seeing, there was just some clips This sucks. This is how my wife is nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:50:06 I was recently seeing, there was just some clips about a pimp who was like, if you want to pay me to fuck my bitch, that's OK with me. He was just like, he was like, he's $500. He was just like, just bring my, at the end of the night, bring my horse back to my stable. He was fucking awesome. He was like, what the fuck, what like what the fuck what he's like now we're just on the bus shivering but she's fine he's like

Starting point is 01:50:32 it looks to teach their own i suppose um all right we got some fun for us to go out on here elders yeah stop it my boy i'm a pothead and I get high a lot and When I get high I look for that perfect perfect munchies, okay? I don't know what it seems like every time I fall flat. I can't be so breath get to that point of munchy Nirvana I've tried the meatloaf I've tried the bowl of cereal. I've tried the meatloaf.

Starting point is 01:51:07 I've tried the bowl of cereal. I've tried the Taco Bell. I've even tried the homemade gnocchi. What are you talking about? I've tried the Haagen-Dazs ice cream. Nothing hits that spot that I'm looking for and I'm getting irritated And honestly, I can't afford to fuck up next time He's doing some kind of weird character. You're high or drunk as fuck or whatever. It's 2 a.m. I don't like you. What are you gonna choose? You've got two that let you let slide this week. Thank you bad the guy who fucks too good in this guy

Starting point is 01:51:42 This guy is weird voice. You know that all perspective and by the way, I know what happened I came in you guys get here one elders here at 1255 fucking looking up calls He's like hey, whatever it's good enough. I hate this guy's voice But I am willing to just luckily he is asking one of my favorite things to discuss, which is like perfect meals, meals that hit the spot. I mean, he also listed a bizarre collection of things. Meatloaf, bowl of cereal, Taco Bell, homemade gnocchi with vodka sauce and Haagen-Dazs. It's like, I'm not a meatloaf guy,

Starting point is 01:52:22 but with the exception of that, all of this shit hit the spot. I don't really know what the fuck the problem is here. I guess, you know, there is a really nice thing when you're getting fucked up, where you're not, at least for me, when my food addiction gets so crazy that I don't even crave things anymore, I'm just eating to hurt myself, that sucks.

Starting point is 01:52:48 But there's, right before that, you have very specific cravings. And when you just wake up one day, you're like, I have to have Peruvian chicken and ribs and blow them. You know what I mean? And you're just like, I have my marching orders for the day, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:53:02 I know exactly what I'm gonna do, and I know it's gonna make me so happy. And there are, there's like, that does feel really good. So I don't know, you know, what do you want us to tell you what you want to eat? Cause I can tell you, you know, for me, it's not hard right now to nail munchies. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:53:20 I'll fucking, you serve me anything delicious. I'm good to go when I'm high as shit. He needs OCD medication or something. Like this is clearly just a weird thing like that. Cause like these are clearly all his favorite foods. And if they're not hitting the spot, you're just like overthinking it, man. You like need medication.

Starting point is 01:53:35 Well, he might be where I was talking about, where it's like he's done having cravings and now he's just hurting himself with the food. You know, cause I've definitely. That's like a time period, like a broad time period. I think what happens is it starts, yeah, for me anyway, yes, what would happen is like, you just start eating a little worse, a little, you know, your regular food

Starting point is 01:53:52 and then you get a little, you know, maybe a side of fries, whatever, and then you're just like, all right, I'm squarely, I don't care about what I'm eating anymore. Now I'm like, what do I'm really craving? You know, now we've taken, the guardrails are off, we can get anything we want, and there's a beautiful honeymoon period where you know exactly what you wanna eat.

Starting point is 01:54:09 And then you eat so much and you overeat and you get tired, the novelty's gone, but your brain still wants that itch scratch? And you'll just have dog shit. You'll just have shit that you know you don't want. You mean shit you don't like, cinnamon candy? Yeah, yeah, just whatever's there. I remember I used to work at a community college.

Starting point is 01:54:28 I remember I would get in line pissed off already about the sandwich I hadn't ordered yet. But I knew I was gonna eat it. There was no way I wasn't gonna get the shitty Italian sub fries and chicken tenders on my break. And I was just there like, fuck, this is gonna suck. And it's like, I could've gone anywhere.

Starting point is 01:54:44 I could've stopped, gotten in my car and gone somewhere good, but it's just addiction so Maybe that's where you're at. I don't know. He didn't sound fat. He sounded like some weird guy doing a voice I mean just pizza not even being on that list I know Because that's like the best pizza Not hitting the spot isn't crazy to me like you're high I'm not mad you can hand me a random bag of Taco Bell when I'm high as shit I'll figure it out I would say that up until like a week ago they started fucking serving chicken nuggets bro I see that's like like that might get me back in I need to know what Taco Bell's nuggets are like I'm a fuck

Starting point is 01:55:23 I need to know I need to know sweet green Bell's nuggets are like, brother. I'm gonna fuck, I need to know, I need to know. It's like when Sweet Green got french fries. I was like, this isn't healthy anymore. This is fucked. I think they opened in Ohio, for real. And then they were like, a month later they were like, alright, we're adding fucking slushies and french fries. They literally added some Midwest locations. They had french fries the next month, dude.

Starting point is 01:55:41 Yeah. You guys are chasing the dragon, dude. You might just be chasing the dragon, in which case get help for your eating disorder. And if not, it's like, dude, these should hit the spot. I don't know what to tell you. You have to just be more, and if you don't, you have to be more, if you don't think you're overeating

Starting point is 01:55:58 and in the throes of addiction, then I would say make this more of a treat. Totally, take a break from all this stuff. Take a break from getting this high and like only do it when you're like, oh, I really feel like getting Chinese and like order the exact order and don't try and do it every day

Starting point is 01:56:14 because that's what fucks it up. So yeah, that's our advice. I actually do have to shit. So that is the end of, the program has ended man I thought I was dire we'll see if it's solid guys we'll let you know but thank guys thank you so much for coming thanks for having us man this was fun this was so fun as always watch Julio watch watch stuff you guys are both on the road coming up we can when does this come out it's probably come out in July so yeah I'm at a comedy club at Duckworth

Starting point is 01:56:44 17th and 19th in Charlotte New York City August 21st not Julio.com for tickets It's probably come out in July. So yeah, I'm at Comedy Club at Duckworth, 17th and 19th in Charlotte, New York City, August 21st, notholio.com for tickets. Hell yeah. And I'm doing a run in September, starting September. Love it. And I will have those dates up shortly, so please come out.

Starting point is 01:56:55 Just send them to us, we'll put them up. Awesome, thank you, man. Yeah, thanks guys, we'll see you next time, bye bye. Peace. Thank you. Bye bye. Peace.

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Stavvy's World - #136 - Ricky Velez and Giulio Gallarotti

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