Stavvy's World - #147 - Gareth Reynolds

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Starting point is 00:00:17 Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Hopa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World 904-800. Stav, call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have with us, our pal, returning Gareth Reynolds on the couch. What's up?

Starting point is 00:00:44 Hi. What's up, Big G? How's it going, man? Good, how are you? You know him from his multiple pod. This man's a podcaster extraordinaire. It's a nightmare. It really is.

Starting point is 00:00:56 I know. We were just talking. It sucks. You think you get ahead. And then you're like, what? I'm only done for two weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done, we're here to help.

Starting point is 00:01:07 Yeah. Great show. You got a new one launching. It's been going. It's been gone. Good cover there. I knew, I know it because you told me. Like the reason?

Starting point is 00:01:18 No, I know, because you said it. Because you said it earlier. I'm not familiar with you. I think maybe now that you say it, I'm like, oh, that's what that was. I saw it. It looked pretty fun. I didn't know if it was somebody else's show. but it looks good.

Starting point is 00:01:31 Sure. Can I put that on the... Is there any window? Can I put that quote on there? That stammering half endorsement? Yeah, it looked like they were filmed. You're there. Audio quality was there.

Starting point is 00:01:46 It's cool. Next, we have. Yeah. Yeah, I like that we did that little bag of voice so I could remember what it was called. Stavi stammer's. Yeah, dude, it's all broadcast. secrets do a bad job and then so you'll remember the fucking title of the of the podcast

Starting point is 00:02:05 i even forget it sometimes uh i like it though so it gives me fraser vibes next we have or that's my next guess that's we're here to help we're here to help right very fraser but it but didn't wouldn't fraser say what was the name of his show in the fictional world oh shit i don't even remember i honestly do some producer i didn't follow fraser guy i didn't follow him. I was a big Frasier. I liked him when he was a drunk. Yeah, yeah. He got all sober and became emotional. No, I

Starting point is 00:02:37 was just called the Dr. Frasier Crane Show. I never... I used to do kids' birthday parties, dress up like superheroes for kids' birthday parties. And one time I did, like, the Frazier season rap party for the kids, and I was dressed up as a wizard. And I was just like able to just be like a fly on the wall

Starting point is 00:02:53 to like Kelsey Grahamer having conversations. Was he with his Real Housewives' wife? Yeah, he He was. It was that Camille era. Camille era. I remember when I saw that he was with just a hot blonde with big fake titty. I was like, wait, Frasier is cool.

Starting point is 00:03:09 Yeah. I was like, I thought he was a nerd. Well, and then you found out he actually really was like a Coke head drunk. And you're like, Frazier? Frazier's the man? Wait a minute. Yeah, he was doing Coke. He was a wild boy.

Starting point is 00:03:23 Yeah. Kelsey was a wild boy. But he seemed so like intellectual. Right. But. Well, the thing about Fray. Yeah. They were, oh, Niles, you know, doing shit like that.

Starting point is 00:03:31 Let's do a bump out of Camille. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Niles being straight's hilarious. Yeah, also fun. I mean, that guy's gay as hell. Yeah, yeah. He probably was dying to talk to Frasier about his sexuality crisis. Frazier was so inaccessible.

Starting point is 00:03:45 Yeah, Daphne. Maybe, you know, you find one bitch. He's probably gay for everyone except Daphne, is my guess. Yeah. He probably fell in love with her, but he's gay as fuck. Yeah. Because Maris, he didn't want to fuck. Maris.

Starting point is 00:03:59 No. Or was Maris was Frasier's? No. Merriss was, wasn't that. I don't know much, like I said. It was. It was. Merris.

Starting point is 00:04:06 Was Maris Frazier's ex-wife? No, Niles. Yeah, right. Niles ex-wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there was the dog. Of course, Eddie. Sure.

Starting point is 00:04:15 And the dad, he was awesome. He was gay also, actually. The dad was? Yes, that actor seems straight is gay. Yeah. Niles seems gay is gay. It's the lot. Frazier seems gay is straight.

Starting point is 00:04:25 Frasier seems sober. They had it all. They had it all. They had every. type of guy. Daphne was the alpha. Yeah, yeah. Daphne seemed straight was straight.

Starting point is 00:04:35 No, I never got it. Oh, yeah, John Mahoney was gay. Right. I guess they were missing one seem straight is straight guy. I think we've looked this up before and I don't think there is definitive evidence that John Mahoney is gay. Wait, really? I mean, it's funny that that's the high. Did you highlight that, Eldon?

Starting point is 00:04:50 No, no. So it's funny that you were like, I've come to the conclusion that the highlighted AI overview is a. we went we like talked for 20 minutes on an episode about how he was gay and then we like did another simple Google searchers like no he's not actually gay he was he was like the kind of gay guy that wouldn't say it go down closeted closet old school old school back when they had honor don't make my fucking kids look at that do it on your own time and then you get married secret You know that kind of shit. Yeah, you go to Thailand, get married. Yeah, yeah. Get out of the AI.

Starting point is 00:05:33 That's your problem, Meldish. You're succumbing to AI. I completely agree. Thank you. So many people I know are like AIing, and I'm like, scroll. No, no. A half inch more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:43 Get some real answers. Although I do think they've made Google shittier. Google's gotten way shittier. Because they want us to go to AI. Yeah. But we won't do it. We'll just get shitty answers on Google. Will you Google how bad Google is and let's read the AI?

Starting point is 00:05:56 No. Yeah, not afraid you guy What were your shows as a child? You know, I really watched a lot And we're probably what? We're pretty much the same age You're probably a little young. Oh, you're like a lot younger

Starting point is 00:06:08 I'm 10 years. Yeah, you're nine years younger than I do. No, that's not true. You do, for real. Well, you have a much better career. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to die earlier though. Well, whatever. I'm going to be poor forever.

Starting point is 00:06:18 It's going to fucking suck. Look, you give, you know what I mean? There's gives and takes. You're going to be a comet. I'm going to be a nightmare start. Bright, yeah, burn bright. Yeah. I watched a lot of, like, old sitcoms from Nick at Night when I was growing up.

Starting point is 00:06:32 So I would watch, like, Taxi, Welcome Back, Cotter. Yeah. Like, those are my shows. I would pretend to do that. Like, I was the little, I was like the little annoying kid pretending to get the shows you were watching. Right. Because I don't even know how much I got him, but I definitely was like, that's important. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:06:51 I felt that way, too, as, like, being little. I was like, oh, I get, taxi, I get it. Andy Kaufman. Yeah. I would pretend to, like, really like Andy Kaufman. Like, the biggest one is Lenny Bruce. That's the most poser shit you can do. Which is, and look, I've listened back, and it's like, there's a couple.

Starting point is 00:07:08 And he's very important, obviously, for like, but it's like some guy being like, no, I love watching highlights of the 1940s Philadelphia Warriors. You know what I mean? It's like, there's highlights aren't good. You know what it's like? I watched planes, trains on automobiles like a year ago. I don't know. That's a banger. When was the last time you watched it?

Starting point is 00:07:27 Pretty recently. See, I like it still, but I'm like, this has been replicated 800 times now. The replication is fair. So you're a little... It's the best. It's the best. He is just so... You can't replicate him.

Starting point is 00:07:40 And when the wife's been dead for 12 years. Yeah. You're like, oh, my God. Yeah. I don't even have to make sense, actually, but it's still... John Candy is... It works with him because he's such a good... Like, he is able to portray that kind of depth...

Starting point is 00:07:55 Yeah. In a way that... big fat buffoons can't, right? Like, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get into acting, and I watch a lot of John Candy because I'm like, he was a favorite of mine, and I just know, I'm like, I am not, if I could do one-eighth

Starting point is 00:08:08 of what this guy can do, I will have an incredible career. Died early, what you're after, too. Well, that I will replicate. That's the one-eighth I can do. It's dying too soon. He's Davy replicated the John Candy death better than anyone.

Starting point is 00:08:25 A lot of guys I'm repulsating in that sense. No, he was. He was the best. And I'm not saying that movie's not good, but it's like road trip movies at that point, there was just not a shitload. Well, I will say in general, I think you're right in that a lot of classics, some classics really, the pacing is off, like, they're not as funny as you remember. Or there's like four good jokes you latched on to as a kid. Caddyshack is like this. What you feel like is a little out of touch? Yeah, not as good.

Starting point is 00:08:54 Still, there's, I mean, it's so good. When's the last time you watched Caddyshack? It's been a minute. Re-watch it? Because I, in fact, I was really embarrassed because, like, I'm showing it to a girl who's already too young. That's the worst. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:05 When you're trying to show off and you're sitting there in silence, like, this is bombing. And then I'm realizing, even if this was good, this, she wouldn't have liked this. So now I'm bombing twice. Yeah. Because even the idealized version of Cadyshack in my head wouldn't have worked with this woman. And then you got to jump ship. You, like, turn it off earlier. And then you're fast, when you're fast, when you're fast,

Starting point is 00:09:24 forwarding, you are toast when you're like, let's just get the Ronnie Dangerfield's part and she's just looking at it like Chippy Chase was very funny at a time. I know like Bill Murray's kind of like really important and yeah the goverings I guess is weird. But he's just making this off. It's not in the script.

Starting point is 00:09:41 Nobody wrote this. She's like so why it's the gopher is a part of it's like yeah the goal of yeah I mean he's like he's got a problem with it. He's a piece of shit. He's the groundskeeper. He's a piece of shit. Yeah, that's tough. But it is very funny because I I do think you picked maybe the one I disagree with the most.

Starting point is 00:09:59 I think it holds up really well because it's also a 90-minute runtime. It's one of the rare old classics that actually has a pace that keeps up with today. Because they cut a lot of, that was like, I feel like they said the first cut of it. It was like three hours. Oh, yeah. There are scenes where you're like, I think in the Steve Martin documentary, he goes into it a lot. Yeah, which it's cool because you watch the movie and it doesn't fully make sense, but you can put it together. There's certain things where, like, how do we get here?

Starting point is 00:10:26 Yeah. But I love when they're like, I love when a movie just does it. Like, you can figure it out. And it's way more important for the pace to be there than it is to explain every little fucking thing. Well, I'm not, I'm, I think that it, like, some of the shine got taken on. Like, it used to be like my favorite movie. And then I watched again and I was like, oh, yeah, well, you just are so used to odd couple road trip movies. Sure, sure, sure.

Starting point is 00:10:49 So that's, but I'm with you there. I agree with you, Frasier is good. There's no doubt about that. What was your show growing up? I mean, legit, I watched Frazier, but I mean, you know, the classic Simpsons, Seinfeld, the, like, they would run them in syndication. Yep.

Starting point is 00:11:05 King of Queen snuck in there. Wow. Because it was just in syndication. You know what I mean? Yeah, it came on after Seinfeld. It was just timing-wise, you know, perfect for that. Plus, fat guy, hot wife, I love to see that. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:11:19 I'm like, this could be me. It's a hero. For real. It is possible. A hundred. I'm not even kidding. It was like me looking like, yes. But then you found out she was a Scientologist. You're like, this makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how he got her. Although he, in real life.

Starting point is 00:11:30 She jumped. She's with a hot guy and not a Scientologist. Oh, she is? Oh, yeah. Her real husband's like some sexy Latino guy. Oh, okay. I don't know that. Pissed me all. Legit pissed me off when I'm like 16 and I figure this out. Look at that guy.

Starting point is 00:11:43 See, I think, I'm going to, I'm going to plane strains on. He used to be hotter. I'm going to plane strains on automobiles. He used to be hotter. Go back. Go find Anglo Pagan Young. Do Leo Remini husband young I mean come on That's a handsome guy Yeah I mean

Starting point is 00:11:58 Look at that guy with a goatee Yeah all right You know he looks jacked Mark Anthony Bargain bin Mark Anthony No He's hotter than Mark Anthony No he's not hotter than Mark Anthony

Starting point is 00:12:09 I don't know Mark he's big And I'm not even into Mark Anthony I'm just saying he's a little more substantial I don't want to twink You know I want a guy who can throw me around I mean I know neither of us are gay But I want a twink I really want a twink

Starting point is 00:12:20 That's my style Well, I guess if I had to fuck a man, yes, I would want to twink. But if I was the kind of guy who wanted to fuck men, I would want them to be heftier, you know? That's just me. Anyway, compared to Kevin James, whatever the fuck, this guy's more classically handsome. But you know what, you're right? He's not as hot as I remember in my head. No.

Starting point is 00:12:37 See, you're playing strings in automobiles, but with this guy. He wasn't a fat guy. I think that pissed me off. No, you know what's funny? I was saying this the other night. It was like, Seinfeld, slowly those, the people in Seinfeld, they're still. starting to, like, you've really got to separate the actors from the characters now.

Starting point is 00:12:55 Yeah, that's true. Like, the Kramer took me like five years to be like, I can watch him and not think about the end. And now Jerry who's so like, Jerry's just a little too callous when it comes to Palestine. Yeah, absolutely. Jason Alexander's next. I feel like Julia's going to hang in there.

Starting point is 00:13:11 Julia, I think it's kind of like she's, it's like when you get a vaccine and there's a little something you have to get over, it's like a little piece of the poison. Yeah, you got to. The fact that She's a billionaire's daughter. I didn't know that. You have to get over that immediately, right?

Starting point is 00:13:25 The Dreyfuses are like, yeah, Julia Louis Dreyfus, her family is like, she's an insane Nepo baby. So if you get over that early, I got over that when she was young. I didn't know that. Yeah, I mean, it's not good what he did. Gerard. Girard, Louis Dreyfus. His net worth was estimated to be $3.4 billion.

Starting point is 00:13:44 It was the chairman of the Louis Dreyfus Energy Services. Oh, fuck. And the great grandson of her dad. was the great grandson of a guy with the Wikipedia page. That's not good. Wait, are you Leopold? Leopold Louis Dreyfus. Oh, fuck. The French

Starting point is 00:14:00 government were him, the commander of the Legion of Honor. Does he have claws? No, no. No, no, no. He does not have claws. Okay. But I'm sure there was some propaganda of the time saying he did. What was the... I think I just fell into a bad trial. I think you did. I think you unfortunately did.

Starting point is 00:14:18 Look up the Louis Dreyfus group. Let's See what they were up to, Elders? Right there, dumbass. Is a Dutch multinational merchant firm that's involved in agricultural? I mean, yeah, there's no way. It's tough when you find out someone grew up rich. It's difficult.

Starting point is 00:14:34 There's a lot of comedies, so you've got to get over. Her family's business was founded in 1851. That's not good. Yeah. Not good. No, old money. The company makes up about 10% of the world's agricultural product trade flow

Starting point is 00:14:49 and is the world's largest cotton and rice trader. That's not good. Now, the cotton, cotton's not. One of the four companies that dominate world agricultural commodity trading, really bad. You know what I mean? The cotton is not. Cotton 1800s never really works out of great. No, no, certainly not.

Starting point is 00:15:08 But that's them today. I'm sure whatever they were up to back then was, you know. What were they up to in the 1800s elders? Let's scroll down, idiot. He rapidly diversified across. shipping, weapons, manufacturing, agriculture, oil, and banking. Oh, so the good industries. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:25 Oh, okay. Yeah. I was worried it would be dark. Yeah. Top five biggest fortunes of France. In the early 20th century. So anyway, once you get over that and she's, you know, so she, I think, is not going to disappoint us more. And I want to circle back on the claw thing.

Starting point is 00:15:42 I really, it was in, and I wish everyone could see the picture. He just had pointy fingers. Right, right, right. I was going for a totally different. You know what I mean? It's just... Yeah. We'll have this screenshot up.

Starting point is 00:15:53 The people can decide. If you could maybe sharpen the fingers in post below, that might help me. We will not be sharpening the hands of a of a 19th century Jewish banker. We will not be doing that. You're digging further for me. Don't. I'm not saying sharpen him because it's a... I don't even want...

Starting point is 00:16:13 I can't say don't sharpen his hands because he's a Jew. That'd be a crazy thing to say. This can't be the clip. We'll bleep all this. Yeah, this should be a whole bleep all this. Let's restart the show. We'll just show Gareth's frustration. Start from the top.

Starting point is 00:16:26 But we'll be bleeping it all. Go from where you ask. Plains change in automobiles holds up the best. That's a movie that just unchanged. My opinion is unchanged. Oh, shit. What do you think, okay, so what do you think? Because I agree with you, Jason Alexander is the one that I'm a little worried about. Oh, he's next.

Starting point is 00:16:44 He'll do something. What's Jason Alexander? Jason Alexander, look up Jason Alexander. scandal. Let's see if there's anything there. So here's, so my buddy, my buddy Evan Manuel used to write with, he, uh, when he first moved to LA, he was an intern at Jason Alexander's company. That picture's great. I'm sure this makes him happy. Yeah. And, uh, he has a hair piece for the bald side. Mm-hmm. So his hair looks a little fuller on the bald part. Oh, interesting.

Starting point is 00:17:09 Is a bald? A bald? He's got an, a little bit of X, it's very interesting. Yeah. You'd think once you're bald, you're bald. Yeah, it's just could, but it was, yeah, see, And he'll never get accused of having a peace. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He upset many in the LGBTQ. Here we go. We don't need to. You know what?

Starting point is 00:17:27 We're not doing this. Take him down. You know what? I'm out on this, actually. You know what, George, I'm not looking to be mad at the cast of Seinfeld. If it's brought across my front door, there's nothing I can do about that. That's coming. But I'm not going to be looking into it.

Starting point is 00:17:42 They'll be at the Capitol rise next time. I will say that's. Maybe like Jay Johnstone. He'll just be there. That's a tough one. Come on. Man. Why?

Starting point is 00:17:51 It's a tough one. Why? I love Mr. Show. The best. Yeah. The best, the falling into the shelf guy. You're like, no. Honestly, the fact that it's only one guy for Mr. Shows is in God.

Starting point is 00:18:02 I think that's where we have to look at it as. I agree. Only one guy. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Seinfeld also holds up. I agree. That actually does.

Starting point is 00:18:13 I just, it's like comfort to me. I just put it on. If there was a radio station that was only Seinfeld, I would listen to it without question. It's fucking good. And it is like, even though it's at this point, you know, 30 years old or whatever, you're like, I get, I am the old guy who I was a kid telling me to watch Leave It to Beaver. You know? I would tell a child to watch Seinfeld.

Starting point is 00:18:33 They would probably hate it. All in the family or MASH when those shows were on, I was like, these are trash. I never watched an episode, but I was like, nope, not like I think that's probably Seinfeld for this generation. Yeah, that's probably true. But also those shows are good when you key in a little bit. But they didn't, they couldn't, they never grabbed me. Yeah, exactly. Nash, I was always like, no.

Starting point is 00:18:54 There were moments that we were Mashed God. No, Mashed to me was like Sunday afternoon, change the channel. All in the family, I just like that he was pissed off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I liked when he was being racist. Not me. That's not my thing, but there's the clip. Elders, that's the clip.

Starting point is 00:19:09 Give me away from the Jew Clause stuff. Hurry, move away from the Louis-Dreyfus Clause. Walk away. Woo! Thank you, Stave! Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah. I, uh, yeah, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:19:29 I was not, I was not a, I, I didn't watch too much the old shit, but, you know, whatever. I do worry. I wonder, elders, you think, like, all babies are basically, like, they love 4D animation and shit now. Like, they like computer shit. They don't like old. I don't know. I feel, I feel like the way kids like stuff. Like, I see my niece is watching shit.

Starting point is 00:19:48 And it is just random shitty cartoons. Like, you can't really tell what makes a cartoon like better or worse. I feel like a baby just sees one thing one day and they just want to like watch it over and over. Yeah. Like the new bullshit doesn't really seem like. I mean, there's some baby. We know, I know a baby, you know, I know a baby that loves him finding Nemo. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:06 I know a baby. Are you name-drapping a baby? Yeah, I know a pretty cool baby. I know a very chill baby. He loves sea creatures and stuff like that. Yeah. That's cool. He's a pretty sick guy.

Starting point is 00:20:18 Yeah, he's cool. Such a good baby. He's a good baby. You know what? When there starts to be more babies in your life, there are some duds out there. Oh, yeah. Sometimes it shows I will. You figure it out quick.

Starting point is 00:20:31 Sometimes it shows I will ask parents, like, if they have like three kids, they'll be like, you got a favorite? And they'll be like, yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm like, of course you do. Of course. There's got to be. And it becomes clear. I know in my family, my mother, like, my brother better growing up.

Starting point is 00:20:44 There's no fucking doubt. She, like, almost admitted it. Repeatedly. Why do you think that was? He was a little bit older, and he was just really smart. And even though he was, like, kind of a shit, like, he greased the wheels for me to be such a little shit that I was just way more stressful. Right.

Starting point is 00:21:01 And so she just definitely, like, had a bigger affinity for him. It was my fault. He just made her life easier than you did. He just didn't ruin her life. Right. Like, whereas I was, like, you know, like, smoking cigarettes in the basement and, like, sneaking, like, filling her vodka with water after I drank it, like, just being a piece of shit. Like, my brother was not nearly as big of a piece of shit.

Starting point is 00:21:21 Interesting. And then now we've, like, balanced out. But there was definitely a deficit for years. Oh, really? Yes. So his life's gone bad in the second half? No, not bad. Yeah, thank God.

Starting point is 00:21:34 He's really doing poorly. And I'm doing everything I can to keep it that way. I will hold him down. You know, it's a marathon, not a sprint. So in the long run, I'll get him. Now, when it was, now when you, because he's a little older, I mean, I forget, because I do. love that you're, it's fun, it's so funny to be an immigrant, but it's England,

Starting point is 00:21:54 because it doesn't feel like it counts. Well, I try to make it count. Right, right, right. But they're like, worse colonizers? I'm like, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, hell. Ice is coming after me, too. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Starting point is 00:22:05 I'm worried my British father is going to be detained by ice. Well, they're opening mouths. They're checking teeth. They're seeing if you got those British teeth. Ah, eldest, fall, autumn. the greatest season to be here in New York City. We are actually taking time off the road. We're focusing here.

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Starting point is 00:23:15 right now. Even gut and brain health, I haven't dabbled with those yet, and calorie-smart choices too. You're going to love them. We love them over here. Their recipes change every week. They keep it fresh. Make this fall your healthiest yet with Green Chef. Head to Green Chef.com slash 50 Stavi and use code 50 Stavi-50-5-0-S-T-A-V-Y to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping. That's code 50 stavee at greencheft.com slash 50 stave. But were you, I don't remember, were you born here or there? I was born in Wisconsin, raised by English people.

Starting point is 00:23:50 What about your brother was born here as well? My brother was born in England. Okay. And until he gets deported. Well, that would be, that actually might not be so bad. I think that'll help him in the race. Getting back to England? Yeah, but my mother lives there.

Starting point is 00:24:03 I would, I need him here. Yeah, yeah. Just so I can keep the race close. Yeah, yeah. But he was like, so he was an English kid who went to Cleveland public school when he was seven and she sent him to school in his uniform in his school uniform and he yeah yeah I'd like my ass kids like he showed up like someone beat me mercilessly he went in a British schoolboy uniform someone beat me with my whole water bottle yeah and they

Starting point is 00:24:28 fucking murdered oh my god I'm trying to think what would have happened if we saw a British kid you know how long you're on an island and a cartoon and you're hungry oh my And the person turns into a ham. They were just like, oh, my God. I wouldn't have been able to, I would be vibrating if I saw that. I would be so pumped to bullying him. And that's what happened. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:53 He came home and he just had his hat and his hand, and he was all scuffed up, and he just goes, I need new clothes. And he was trying to explain what a lunch box was to her. He was like, they put their lunch in boxes, and she was like, in box. She said, what are you talking about? No, you'll put it in a satchel, like a good boy. You go get beat up again. They learned to love you.

Starting point is 00:25:20 Oh, my God. My family thought they were moving to Beverly Hills when they moved to America. That's so awesome. They moved to Milwaukee. They moved to Cleveland and then Milwaukee. And my mother was like, you know, like packing like lays. She was like, they'll need those when I get to the big city.

Starting point is 00:25:37 And then she was like in the freezing cold. Oh, my. Just literally, it's funny you brought up any comment. She said she cried for the first year, and the first time she left after a year was when Andy Kaufman did the Mighty Mouse thing on S&L. She said it was first time she laughed in a year. That's hilarious.

Starting point is 00:25:51 And she was just in absolute hell. That's crazy. And my dad was like on the road, like, you know. What was he doing again? He was like a toy sales. He was like a toy guy. That's right. That's right. He really was, it's the last generation of guys

Starting point is 00:26:03 able to cheat by being a door-to-door salesman. Listen, there's, he's really muddied the waters. I know what the road life was like. But now that I'm on the road, I'm like, yeah, be honest, come on. Come on. You're at a Hyatt bar, you know, and then. Go on.

Starting point is 00:26:16 You had a bunch of Lego, stop. Yeah, you weren't. Do you want to go see the Lego in my room? Yeah, yeah. Oh, do you have a boy? Why don't we look at some toys? Why don't you come back? I can give you some freebies.

Starting point is 00:26:27 Yeah, I can dig for Legos. So I get for Legos. Connect my cup to your mouthpiece. There you go. I'll let you know when it snaps into place. Hmm, splendid. There we are. Getting your dicks for.

Starting point is 00:26:38 than going splendid. Oh, well done. Oh, good job there. Right, sir. Right, didn't you that one was? Bravo there, you. And that's probably a thrill of. He's a door-to-door salesman in the Midwest.

Starting point is 00:26:51 I mean, in fact, like you're saying, it was like... He's exotic, is what I'm saying. Yes. He could have cheated. Easy. Yes. Is there anything on the record? There's a couple, there's a couple marks on the permanent record.

Starting point is 00:27:04 Let's just say in the long run, my dad lives in Wisconsin, my mother lives in England. So they're not doing the long-distance thing. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. But it was. It was like they, I do think that now with like, I try to be like,

Starting point is 00:27:26 I'm an immigrant too, you know, like I'm a first generation. And people like, English doesn't count out. Well, I was going to say, she might have also just loved your brother more

Starting point is 00:27:33 because they culturally are both. He was also born there. He probably had the accent. you're truly her American son No, when I was 12 years old I started wearing, I had a mullet I had Z's in the side of my head I had the eyebrow partially shaved

Starting point is 00:27:49 This all happened organically And I wore a San Jose Sharks jacket And she was just like Are you all right? It was like I was a teen wolf She's like, it's hit at night You change a bit And my brother was pretty much

Starting point is 00:28:00 I mean my brother still like when he talks to my mother He's not like that It's not like it's not how he talks You're not around just so you know. He's regular when you're not around. You're getting authentic me. This is me always. I don't put on a fucking voice.

Starting point is 00:28:16 But she definitely was like losing me. Yeah. But what are you? Like, was that like what happened with you? You've always held on your heritage very strong. I've tried. Yeah. I mean, I love, I do, you know, there's waves of it where it's like you're sort of

Starting point is 00:28:29 indoctrinated as a kid. Yeah. And then when you rebel against everything, I kind of didn't give a fuck about Greek shit for a while. And also, you were, like, for me, we would go to Greece, and the trips were dog shit. Because it was, like, with my family and it was my dad pretending he was, my dad would, like, go to Greece and, like, pretend he was doing awesome. Like, it would be, like, this weird five-week, like, North Korea propaganda trip. And you're, like, sitting there.

Starting point is 00:28:57 And I'm like, why the fuck can we afford this? Like, we can't afford regular shit in America. We have a fucking resort. Like, yeah. And it would be like, and he would be like, and he would. would save up like so much of his money and sometimes he would even take out like a loan like like he would he would fucking flex and and i would just i would be like this is kind of fun but right it's weird well when you grow up in that shit too you don't real it takes you so long to

Starting point is 00:29:21 actually have the revelation of like oh totally fucked up yeah and and and like afterwards we would like we would come home and he would it would be the worst month of the year is the month after we come back yeah because he spent all the money yeah he's in his shitty house he can't pretend he's like some fucking yeah and so we would have to deal with him being really angry during those times and so i think when i put it all together i was like this fuck this whatever i don't go i've been able to have my own relationship with greek shit where i go back by myself i see the family i like yeah i see the family friends i like yeah i sometimes i don't i take a week i don't see anybody i just go do my own shit i actually have a good vacation yeah and so i am

Starting point is 00:30:03 trying to and like now when there is like you know friends of mine and my brother had a kid and now I'm like oh fuck there's a part of this this is like you have to pass this on to other to the next generation yeah and I'm looking around it's like if it's going to be anybody it's going to be me so that makes me feel like I should like I'm thinking about taking Greek lesson like I'm fluent but you know I don't barely speak it yeah something about like actually taking some language lessons getting more involved next year when I have the time I think I'm going to go for a whole month and, like, really fucking... Do you do gigs there?

Starting point is 00:30:35 No, I will next year. I was going to this year and then the scheduling got fucked up. But they're starting to have enough of a scene where, like, I know friends of mine have gone. You probably, you probably know people too have done Athens as a gig. Yeah. And they say it's good. You know, they don't speak Greek at all. They do it in English, so, you know.

Starting point is 00:30:53 See, when I would go to England, they were so, it was so debauchrous, so early. Yeah. Like, it really was. shot like everything that we started doing it in like Wisconsin they started like three years earlier like they were legit fucking at like 12 and and and they were like when I was a virgin at like 12 or 13 they were like Mike come on I was like I don't have pew I was like I have like five pews and they and weed and drinking and then fucking I would be I was like 15 smoking opium And then I would like, I would come back to Wisconsin and like my friends would be like totally convinced that I was full of shit.

Starting point is 00:31:36 Of course. Because I'd be like, I got a girl and smoked a drug from the 1800s. I smoked the kind of drugs Louis Dreyfus used to bring in through shipments of cotton. Who, by the way, is no regular hands and I don't even care what religion he is. I don't even see that at all, honestly. When I see that guy, it just is a big beard. That's what I see. It's the only thing

Starting point is 00:32:00 And that's the way It'll always be for me Despite what a clip may say Yeah Someone was also saying Stuff over yonder About racism That has to be included in that

Starting point is 00:32:10 Legally But no it was I'd come back I'd be like I had like fuck two girls Like when I was like 14 I came back I was fucking

Starting point is 00:32:19 They were just partying Yeah And then I was not my experience In Greece It was all lock and key Yeah And I do think that's what Greek kids were like

Starting point is 00:32:27 But my parents just watched my dad like they just would watch us like we weren't allowed just go out and do fun stuff yeah because they were scared they were they were they were kind of i don't know they were i don't know if it was like helicopter parents or if they had some kind of weird part of me like honestly the way my parents my dad in particular reacts i'm like sometimes i'm like did i get molested and black it out because whenever they don't whenever they would like lose me for like an hour or like weren't sure where i was my dad would freak the fuck out and i'm like did i get fucked when I was four and forget because that's how they react that's and they wouldn't let us

Starting point is 00:33:02 go to sleepovers and I'm like that's pretty classic or did they did my dad get my dad get my dad get fucking greet in like I mean that that makes more sense with the pasturing of like tutoring I'm doing great sure I'm crushing it anyway that's something I literally have that where I'm like I literally in the past have been like think hard the best somebody made you suck his dick when you were a child and I'm like I'm coming up blank but I'm like why were my birds so, like, protective. Like, they wouldn't let me sleep at your house. My parents were, like, super protective about, like, especially sleepovers.

Starting point is 00:33:37 Like, you, it was the, the only time ever, I think, was, like, us when we were, by the time we were, like, 14 or some shit. Yeah, that's a weird time to be allowed to finally sleep up. 14 is far too old. By that point, it was, like, just, it was, like, just crashing with your, it was, like, the earliest just crashing with your boy was the vibe. But it was like, yeah, it was like, maybe, maybe not 14, but, like, 612 or some shit like that. I think it's more, like, protective image.

Starting point is 00:33:58 immigrant family, like you're in a foreign culture that you just don't fully feel a part of. Sure. So you don't know, like, how you can trust, like, a complete stranger like, I don't know. That's true. I guess they didn't make, yeah, it was like your house. And then one time when I really asked and they knew the guy, like the family well, they're like, you can go there. Well, that's what I felt like as a child of immigrants, too. I mean, that immigrant story, you know, it's just very similar.

Starting point is 00:34:21 Yeah, absolutely. It seems like it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just. Immigrant story. Well, it is funny because clearly. you weren't doing well as a family

Starting point is 00:34:30 if you ended up in fucking Cleveland in Wisconsin to sell Legos. No, no, no, no member of the House of Lords is moving his family to fucking the Midwest. Well, you know what's so funny too? It's like, the fact that she, my mother thought she was like going to California

Starting point is 00:34:46 basis. It's like, I'm like, look, I'm not saying the internet was around. Right. How did you not? You could have done a little reading. Like a little bit. Yeah. A little bit of research. Yeah. It's just like that being your only frame of reference for America. Yeah, right.

Starting point is 00:35:00 It was. It was just like move. They were just like, oh yeah, palm trees. Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills, movie stars. And your dad didn't tell her

Starting point is 00:35:07 or anything like that? No, it seemed like, I think he was like, should probably not want to do it. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to tell her

Starting point is 00:35:12 to move over to the architect. Yeah, what was the idea that he was going to sell toys for a British company? What's the idea? No, how did he get there? Well, I don't remember what he's first.

Starting point is 00:35:19 I don't remember, I think he, so he basically started running Brio toys. Do you remember Brio? It was like Wooden Railway. It was like, a weird, like, Swedish toy company. I actually do think I, if there's something in my head, yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:34 Yeah, so it was like this shit. Yeah. And so he, like, he, like, started working there. And then he, like, advanced. So then it was like, you know, like, we were like middle. He opened up the American office? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:46 And then so it was like, you know, it was like, we had a real, like, it's so funny to, like, talk about middle class. But I was like, we were like a comfortable middle class family. eventually, but I think I came around when things are like doing well, but like when they moved, I think it was like terrible. Yeah. And my mother was depressed and they were, it sounds like the fact that they had a horrendous marriage, I was like, yeah, well, what the fuck did you think was going to happen? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:09 And then I combined that with the fact that my, my mother, so, so fucking complicated, but my father is not my brother's father, even though he's adopted him. My mother, when she was 19, got pregnant with him, and her parents raised him to think that they were his parents and that she was his sister. And then when he was like seven, when they were going to move to the States, they were like, this is your mom. What? What the fuck? What? And then six months later, he's getting the shit kicked out of him in a uniform by his sister. His sister packed him a fucked up lunch and dressed him like an asshole.

Starting point is 00:36:48 Well, when you put it like that. It's a rough year for a seven-year-old. We're better. The kids beat it out of him, which was nice. Like a dirty rug. Of course she liked him more, dude. She's like, you know what I mean? It's the guilt.

Starting point is 00:37:03 It's also your, it's the guilt. It's also your dad, who was the dickhead who dragged her to America. You know what I mean? Like, you definitely carry that baggage for sure. Dude, too. She was like 15 years later, she was like, bullshit Cleveland. He was like, what? Nothing.

Starting point is 00:37:17 Nothing. How do I spice you do on dinner? When they were going to move, they dropped it on him. I'm pretty, it was, I'm pretty sure it was right around there. Wow. She was in London, like, working for, like, Rigglies or something. Yeah, yeah. And, but my brother's, like, most balanced dude.

Starting point is 00:37:33 That's insane. And I'm, like, it's just because they, like, piled trauma on his plate at seven. Yeah. And then it was, like, his life got easier from there. That's one of those, like, if he doesn't snap then, he's going to be good forever. And he is. He's the most chit. Like, he takes everything in stride.

Starting point is 00:37:47 That's incredible. Probably because he thought his mother was his sister. And then he got. thrown to Cleveland in a school. He dressed like Angus Young in Cleveland Public High School. That's fucking nuts, dude. So when did she finally

Starting point is 00:38:02 was like, all right, fuck this, I'm going back to England? Well, they got divorced when I was like 14. Okay. And then it was, I went to school in Boston and then I moved out to L.A. And then my brother was just like wanted to leave Wisconsin.

Starting point is 00:38:17 And then he moved L.A. And then like two years later, she was like, well, there's no reason for me to be here. So then she just moved back. And then she, like, ended up taking care of her mother a lot. And then, and then she actually moved back to L.A. She moved to L.A. to finally get a little piece of the Beverly Hills dream.

Starting point is 00:38:32 Yeah, right. Yeah. How ironic that both her fucking sons end up where she thought she was going to live? Well, and then she's like in Glendale, and she's like, where are the movie star? Oh, my God. Does it even exist? Why, these hairy Armenians are costing me? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:47 And so, and then she, now she just lives. their full time and like, you know, it's, you know, it's small town, it's easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She knows it. It's nice, dude. I love it. I love it. I love it for the first time, although I guess I have just gone.

Starting point is 00:39:01 Oh, yeah. I've just come back and it was awesome. I loved it. What's your favorite thing to do? Going back again. No, I went, I went last summer, and I actually will take if you have any fucking little tips or whatever from you. I'm sure you go.

Starting point is 00:39:11 If you have a kid, tell him that you're his brother. If I have a 12-year-old, get him some pussy. Get him some pussy. Get him some pussy. Yeah, you're his brother and fucking run away. You're fine. Don't worry about it. No, I really, I did actually really like it.

Starting point is 00:39:23 And the countryside shit over there. That's where she basically lives. It's like, it is, it's exactly what you think it's going to be. Little cottages, little villages, little villages, it's cute. It's like a contained town. Like, I was, I was staying an hour outside of London. And it was like, you might as well have been five hours outside of London. That's what I like.

Starting point is 00:39:44 I mean, I like the cities, but it's really, there's so much countryside. It feels very, like, we. here even like you know there are like many areas that are just green or whatever but there's still too much shit like there you actually have legitimate like countryside cottages

Starting point is 00:40:00 local small pubs the thing about it that makes it awesome is that here you can get away but you're away from everything yeah right you're almost too isolated there you're at a village and it's like you're like someone has been of like what you think of as a medieval

Starting point is 00:40:17 villager existed exactly where you are for the last like 600 years and so it's built around people have lived there communally forever for like a thousand years and so there is little villages there are little you know there is little like you go into the little town and there's like a grocery store there's a whatever you're local smaller that's what that's what we lack here so much there's still some of it but it's like everywhere you go you're like i guess Chipotle like they really do they have like everywhere's a small pub you feel like Bourdain you're just like totally you know everything's local. And it was nice. It was good. Beers are local. But it is just simpler. I go there and I'm like,

Starting point is 00:40:55 just, like, way easier little existence. And, you know, it's nice to not be able to get everything all the time. Like, when I've toured Europe, you are like, there are, I remember we finished a show once on a Sunday and it was like 930 and we were like, can we get some food? And the guy was like, ooh, I don't know if that's going to happen. Yeah, depending on where you are, if you're in fucking Greece, they're just starting the restaurants at 930. Yeah, right. Yeah. Some places are open to fucking. No, I was in like Denmark, and the guy was like, boof. Oh, good luck. He should have told me you wanted to eat at four.

Starting point is 00:41:25 Yeah. It's Sunday, you know? I was like, yeah, is that a Taco Bell? You know what I've always said, Eldis? If you're still overpaying for wireless, it's time to say yes to saying no. I've always said that. At Min Mobile, their favorite word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no BS, bull-ass.

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Starting point is 00:42:24 And Eldis can barely produce this podcast. He doesn't even edit him, folks. Do you understand that? He sits there, press a couple buttons. Somebody else edits them. He can do, he could do it. You can do it. Well, I manage the editing.

Starting point is 00:42:36 Yeah, sure. No, it's really hard. Anyway, are you ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch at mintmobile.com slash stop. That's minmobile.com slash stavi. Up front payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month, limited time, and new customer offer for first three months only.

Starting point is 00:42:57 Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan, taxes and fees extra, see MinMobile for details. No, I agree with you, though. I love when things were just, they were just close. They're like, yeah, sorry, it's a Sunday. Yeah. When people are, like, confused, you're like, you wanted to go to the electronic store on a Sunday at 9?

Starting point is 00:43:16 When places close, like in Australia, there's, like, or wherever, there's places that close from like one to five. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, no, you shouldn't be able to have access to everything, every moment of the fucking day. I fully agree. I almost like, I even miss, like, in America, you only got that for holidays for a while. Yeah. It was like, you have to go do your shop it. You know, if you need something for Christmas dinner, you better go early Christmas.

Starting point is 00:43:42 They're closing early on Christmas. Now it's like, it's 10 a.m. on Christmas. I'm like, I'll go over the grocery store or get whatever. And I feel like an asshole. It's like, why are these people working? This shouldn't be closed. Yeah, you're just like, you really are.

Starting point is 00:43:53 You're like, why the fuck? Why are they working? It sucks, dude. Yeah, it really does. And I think that was Black Friday every year. I'm like, man, this is just the fucking, this is the most estopian capitalist shit ever. That was the worst when it was like,

Starting point is 00:44:04 we took this beautiful day where it's like, there's nothing to do. And they're like, let's fill it with shopping. What if they beat the shit out of each other for a CD player? Instead of spending time with their families, why don't they just. Make them get up early. Make them wait in line and get agitated at each other

Starting point is 00:44:19 It's the beautiful little It's the most like Delicious day of like nothing Right after Thanksgiving You got two weekend days coming up That should be the like lounge Any company that makes you work on Black Friday I mean I talk about that on stage

Starting point is 00:44:34 It man it is shocking the level of people Who are like I don't care for your anti-billionaire stuff It's crazy dude It's not gonna be you man You're not good Like I know I'm rich right I am I've gotten really lucky. I am so much closer to a homeless person

Starting point is 00:44:50 than I am even somebody with half a billion dollars. Like the amount of power I have in society is closer. And that's what people, like, no one is trying to stop you from being a successful, like, you want to have a successful business and have a lot of money, whatever. We're not taking your money, idiot. We're talking about Jeff Bezos.

Starting point is 00:45:08 Yeah. We're talking about the guys that go to space for fun. Yeah. You'll never have space for fun money. You'll never have it. Well, and then it's like the way that, They're just, like, food stamps. That's the issue.

Starting point is 00:45:18 Like, I don't understand how you can. We can't let a lady who on food stamps get a soda. Yeah, that's the fucking crazy issue. Get the fuck out of here. That piss me off so much. I mean, this America. Poor people don't deserve fucking... They deserve soda more than anybody.

Starting point is 00:45:30 Exactly. Jesus Christ. The whole country's fat as fuck. They can't have a little fast food. Well, and then if you look in, like, 2012, like, Zuckerberg was worth like $2 billion. Yeah. It's like, in 13 years, the level of hundreds of billions.

Starting point is 00:45:44 It's like, even if we went back to that and capped it there now, that would be like enough. Cap it a $2 billion. You're fine. Okay? You're fine. That's plenty. Plenty. Plenty.

Starting point is 00:45:55 Anyway, whatever. Yeah, right. Fuck these people. Yeah. And if you're sucking billionaire dick, you're a piece of shit. Yeah. They're fucking your ass. Wake up, idiot.

Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah. Anyway, let's help some people with some, with some questions who are eldest. Yeah. We clearly know what the fuck's going on. Yeah. We're two of the smartest guys you people have ever fucking heard of. I mean, listen back. Look at our careers.

Starting point is 00:46:19 Well, you did, though. You got, like, elevated as a solid voice of the... But only for speaking, like, sense. Dude, and believe me, the amount of people who wanted me to become, like, a political... It's like, I'm not doing that. I'm a fucking comedian. And a big problem is comedians thinking they're smart. I'm not smart.

Starting point is 00:46:39 Well, it's worked out pretty well with those. Yeah, I know. But it's like... The whole point is, like, you don't have to be smart. smart to realize we're getting fucked. Yeah. You know, like, that's all there is to it. It's like, rich, the absolute ultra-rich

Starting point is 00:46:51 are fucking everyone else's ass. There's no other conspiracy. It's so fucking obvious and simple. It's crazy. We don't have to make up conspiracy theories. The people with all the resources keep fucking you to take more of the resources. That's all there is to it.

Starting point is 00:47:06 And yes, any kind of like, there's no shadowy people control shit. The people who control it tell you that they're fucking controlling it. They buy all the fuck. They brag about it. It's crazy, dude. It's fucking nuts.

Starting point is 00:47:18 All right. Anyway, let's keep going. Hey, Stavi, Eldith. Yes. So, this is my question. Okay, whatever. 44 now. When I was 13, my first boyfriend and I,

Starting point is 00:47:38 we were pretty much, you know, in love, puppy love. He was a chunk of. kid and we really clicked good for you and i didn't care i loved him anyway great for so we were just you know on the same way blank so things got pretty intense when we were like 13 14 he would sneak out of the house come over to my house you'd wrap on the window i would let him in we would just screw around all night long age 13 going at it everything but sex, you know, like, titty fucking blow jobs. It was really, really good.

Starting point is 00:48:15 Crazy stuff. We got it. It's just always nice to hear. And then we kind of broke up throughout high school, but we always stayed friends. And senior year, you know, came together, dated a little bit, finally screwed, you know, so. Screwed. Always, you know, talk in and hanging out. Fast forward to 2020.

Starting point is 00:48:37 2020. And we start. chatting, texting, 20 years, never seen each other, no talking. And in 2020, we start chatting. And we've been texting for five years. That's all it's been. He's in a different state. But we are really, really good friends now.

Starting point is 00:48:55 And we've gotten to know each other as adults and not children. And, you know, consider him one of my best friends, and I think vice versa. And so my question is, And, you know, through our texting, he's told me, you know, that time with you when I was a kid, those were the best orgasms I've ever had in my life. I don't really need to think that's right. I remember one time he came so hard, it shot on my wall and was stuck on my picture. First of all, yeah, he's 13 and getting pussy. Yeah, I mean.

Starting point is 00:49:27 Do you understand how awesome that would be to me? I can't even imagine. I was so far away from that. That's when. That's how used to patch walls. That's used to patch holes in your wall. He told me that was the best time in my life. So I guess my question to you is now that we're adults, you know, in a position where we could meet up.

Starting point is 00:49:48 Should we, like, meet up and fuck, you know? Should we meet up and try to date? Like, what do you think that we should do? What are the pros and cons of this? And like I said, we've been just texting for five years, so it's not been physical. It's just been a friendship, like it started out when we were kids. So what do you think we should do? All right.

Starting point is 00:50:11 Thank you. Bye. Well, I think it's kind of wild they haven't met up yet. Yeah. But it's also not just a friendship if he's talking about how good the orgasms were. It's not like small talk. Yes, no, no, no. This guy's just a coward who wants to fuck you, I think.

Starting point is 00:50:28 Yeah. Or whatever, maybe he's, I mean, he's pushing. He might be in something too. He's putting it around. Yes, he might be, yes, that's true. Are you sure he's single? whatever, you know, that's important to know. Well, what do you think?

Starting point is 00:50:40 I mean, should they? I look, I don't see the downside. They live in separate states, too, what she said, yeah. But still. But still, it's like, what's the down? Worst case scenario, you meet up, you make a little trip of it, you see if there's, you know, worst case scenario, like, you stay friend, you just meet up.

Starting point is 00:50:59 These people have a history, you know, and it's like, you could give it a shot, see if you like it. You definitely do. I mean, this. But I also would lower the bar of, like, he's not going to be, like, shooting loads on the wall. I mean, this is, like, 20 years later, like, you'll be lucky if he hits one on the pillow. You know what I mean? He's not going to be shot putting like his Olympic days.

Starting point is 00:51:19 I think the lower the bar jizz-wise and also emotionally, too, because it's like, you know, this feels a little storybook, like, first love turns into who you, whatever. The time away really ages things well. And nostalgia, nothing's stronger than nostalgia. If your life's bad, you want to think about the... Oh, dude. You carry that with you forever. I'm fucking crying. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:51:44 That's your first titty fuck. That's beautiful. If your first titty fuck reaches out, you go back. You go back. You can chat for five years. Yeah. Maybe you've got to hold them a little tighter, but still. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Starting point is 00:51:56 So, I think, like, yeah, the pros and cons are, the pros are like, could be fun. You know, whatever. You know, whatever. You might have a real connection. here what are you i guess the thing is what are you looking for out of this she's she's i think she would be worried that you know maybe she would feel emotionally attached and then it's logistically so complicated but that's one of those things where it's like well then then you know at least because you're like middling too much right now i would say you kind of should give it a shot

Starting point is 00:52:27 because clearly there's somebody you've talked to for five years yeah that's so long they're in your life is it you're saying it's a friendship but is it possibly stopping you from finding somebody else. Like, are you, are you, you know what I mean? Like, is this, is this, could this go? I also, it's almost like, call the bluff because for a dude to only be texting for five years and texting about how good his come was back. Like, yeah, sure.

Starting point is 00:52:54 Like, say you want to meet up and see what he does, because there's a chance that then he might go like, I can't, I'm like in something, like, find out because. Yeah, you could just be like him. you could just be like a way for him to tap into his nostalgia. You could just be a physical reminder, whatever. And you should know, what do you want? Like, do you, if you want to try and date, I get it. I totally do understand it if you have this like chemistry.

Starting point is 00:53:20 It does feel romantic on some level, even though, you know, I love how they're both. She's like, yeah, titty fucks. And he's like, yeah, I used to jizz so hard. Saying screw for your first. I know. I love the-screw's great. She's awesome. I love her.

Starting point is 00:53:34 But so, yeah, look. You need to go, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And I do think clearly this is occupying a lot of space in your head. Yeah. And I think even your, as kids, you said it was like kind of will, they won't they. You only really dated a little bit in senior year. Like, you might just owe it to yourself to give this a shot, see if there's anything real here. You might get there and it might not, you might just not feel it, right?

Starting point is 00:53:59 Like, it's worth doing it. It's worth just. And then one way or the other, you have to do it. decide. Either you're truly trying to make this work and you think it's an actual somebody you can be with in a serious way, or you just stop talking this much. Because if it's, this isn't a regular friendship. This isn't like, this clearly, this person clearly has a very specific part, occupies a specific part of your mind. And, you know, unless you can both agree like, all right, let's just be friends and you text each other like a handful of times

Starting point is 00:54:31 a year. You know what I mean? This becomes one of those like, oh, great to see you. Or If you bump into each other in your hometown, you have a chat, but it's nothing more than that. That's fine. I'm saying you have to hell I've got to fuck off. But either you give it a shot or you stop with this weird. You're kind of engaging in the same pattern as you were in high school by kind of being on again off again. Have you had those where, like, because I've had those over the years where it's like even like on the road, like you'll meet. And then you're like texting a lot for like ages and you're like, what the fuck?

Starting point is 00:54:59 What am I doing? Yeah. It's kind of a weird comfort thing that I don't think. is necessarily helpful. Yes, I fully agree. I think it's like this weird. They're sort of like, at least it's a real person, but you're basically,

Starting point is 00:55:13 you're kind of using a person the way people now use chat GPT. And it's like, it's like, at least this is a real person, but it's like, in a way, it still is fake. Yeah. If you never meet up with them and you're talking to them constantly,

Starting point is 00:55:28 it's like you're still pouring your energy into something that's, you know, not really there. You were about to say something, eldest? I was just going to say, you guys kind of like joked about it the titty fucking thing, but I feel like especially when men get older, like, there is like just a

Starting point is 00:55:40 wistful, like, sad nostalgia to, like, things that are, like, related, you know, that remind you of, like, sex in your youth. Of your youth, yep. And it's like, yeah, just to go with what you're saying, like, he probably is just tapping into that, like, what is he doing with the rest of his life? Like, totally. Is it going good? Or is this just, like, an escape for him?

Starting point is 00:55:59 Totally. Yes. You need to find out one way. Because the other thing is, I would say, thinking about being, she's, she's, you that he was chunky and she didn't care she liked him. If I was 13 and a girl, like, look, you know, like at that time, like believed in me, whatever. And then here's the other thing, sometimes that person gives you confidence and you believe in yourself forever and then you're like, you're good.

Starting point is 00:56:22 Yeah. That might have been the best, that might have been the best. The most a woman was, like, loved that guy. That's why he shot such hard love. That's why his lows were so viscous. That might, like, he might, he might have peaked in 13, right? And so, yes, that's a very good point. I think you need to kind of meet up and figure out, is this real?

Starting point is 00:56:43 Because, yes, this, you might be an escape to the good old days. And him not wanting to make anything real of it could, could mean that like, because he doesn't want it to be real. He wants it to just be this ethereal, I'm talking to the girl. And he's just remembering back then. He's not thinking of you as who you actually are. Yeah. You're just a manifestation of his best memories.

Starting point is 00:57:05 So that's why I think you have to give it a shot to see if it can even be real. And if it's not, you just got to get the fuck out there. Yeah. At least you'll know. You'll know what way or the other. And even if it gets more complicated, it's like, well, at least then you can make a decision and shit or get off the pot. And also, or jizz or get out of the kids. Yeah, jizz or get off the wall.

Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah. But I think, like, also, our friend here seems pretty fun. She might not even mind just meeting up, fucking. She said screw, real. And then be like, all right. Good screw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good titty screw.

Starting point is 00:57:36 Have a titty screw for old time saying. Good titty screw. And then move on with your right. Leave money for the maid. Good night. Good old fashioned tit screw. A tit screw. Elders, have you ever fallen for a scam, my friend?

Starting point is 00:57:55 All the time. Really? What happened? I don't know. I just need some guidance on how to. No, do you? I remember one time I was looking for a television, and it was the only, I wanted a specific TV, it was hard to find.

Starting point is 00:58:10 I found something that was like $900 cheaper than like, it was like a pretty expensive, like TV. I found it. It was a website I had never seen before, but I was like, this is, it can't be too good to be true. This must be real. Click it, cold hard cash, send it over. Don't hear anything for months. months. And then literally months later, a guy and some child come in and sell me some weird

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Starting point is 01:01:08 Face Davy, eldest, and best. I just wanted to reach out. Need a little bit of a device. So basically I was raised the Jehovah's Witness and I decided to leave

Starting point is 01:01:23 when I was 25 and that religion whenever you leave the cult or the church. basically your whole family shuns you right um but my wife um and i have a a little baby um and my mom is trying to have a relationship with the baby because in that religion you can still talk to someone who's not been baptized in the religion so my wife she's from Sweden you can talk to But not people who are baptized and don't go to church basically. That's more like in a sense than heathens.

Starting point is 01:02:03 They just haven't had a chance to get baptized. But that's a real loophole though. Anyway, keep going. Very religious. My mom keeps reaching out to my wife and saying, you know, hey, we'd love to have a relationship with your, or our grandson. Obviously, you know, Stephen can't be there, but we'd like to meet up with you. It's like your friend as a baby.

Starting point is 01:02:26 because his wife wasn't this is what i'm talking about though this is a loophole his wife is no longer an innocent she's rejecting the religion so you can you can talk to an adult who's not baptized but because he's been baptized she can't talk i mean that's insane yeah that they think that's even on the table is fucking it's a very weird contract they have that's insane yeah god is going be like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Keep going all this. So my wife's a little confused on what to do in reference to that. I'm saying no, because I would see, fuck them.

Starting point is 01:03:00 Of course, no. If they can't have a relationship with me, they shouldn't have a relationship with my son. Of course. My wife is a little bit like, you know, hey, it's your mom. Maybe you should have, you know, interaction with our son. But I obviously respect you as well. So just need a little bit of advice. Dude, that's insane that your wife is not.

Starting point is 01:03:18 to, or in relation to this situation. So, I mean, decided to reach out to. It runs in the, your whole life has been being gaslit by the women in your life. And clearly, like, you went from your mom to your wife. Like, what the fuck is this bullshit? How is your wife not like, obviously not? You can't see my son if his father's not there. The fact that your wife is entertaining, this is actually fucking crazy.

Starting point is 01:03:44 That is a, I mean, I mean, you don't want to get into that too much, but that is a fucking red flag. That's insane. And now maybe it comes from a place of, like, really valuing the relationship with the kid's grandmother. But it's like, clearly they have some fucked up. Like, when I first heard this, when he's first started, I thought, like, oh, I thought the problem would be like, can I get over how they used to treat me now that they want to be in my life with my kid?

Starting point is 01:04:11 Yeah. But it's like, no, we want to keep shunning him, you? Because he was baptized. But, ooh, look at the baby. Yeah. Like, oh, but now there's something good for me, so I want to look at the baby. Like, fuck them. I would secretly baptize the wife, and then she's out of the equation.

Starting point is 01:04:25 She can't be a part of it, and maybe the kid, and then they both reject the religion. Yeah, yeah. But no, dude, obviously this is fucking insane. No, you can't do that. Yeah. You cannot, I mean. You should have some whole, you should be like, you should, yeah, they're about to meet them, and you should be with a sniper, a sniper with holy water.

Starting point is 01:04:43 A balloon of holy water above them. Yeah. Boom. A priest in a hot air balloon with a fuck With a bullhorn You are in the bottom of the bottom of a baller No Your mom takes the holy water

Starting point is 01:04:59 A balloon Yeah dude I mean your wife's a fucking idiot for you I mean look whatever maybe she's coming in from place of well Well she's probably I mean I don't know There's probably a lot of confusion with in that You want to have like Your child that have a relationship with the family

Starting point is 01:05:15 So she but I I would say She thinks she can soften her up and bring her side. Well, she doesn't know the LDS, but obviously, yeah, I mean, I completely agree. I think you've got to be like, no. Like, no. Just fucking. Yeah. First of all, if I have to be there, and by the way, you have to apologize for how you treated me when I left the church.

Starting point is 01:05:36 Yeah. And if those are non-starters, then you don't get a fucking relationship with my kid. That's insane. You're not going to disrespect me. I also think you probably don't want to have that kind of weird influence on. on your young child of like anything like this being even entering the headspace of a little kid. Totally. You don't want to be like, like, I mean, look, trust me, my brother was raised to believe that

Starting point is 01:06:00 my mother was a sister. You know, these are delicate years. Yeah. You don't get them back. But no, I think you probably don't want to be putting your son in that position anyway. And I do think you might want to say to your wife, like, you know, this is a decision that I'm gonna make because this is my mother and it's pretty fucked up yeah of course of course and then titty fucker yeah yeah oh it feels good hey stop hey eldest uh what's up guest um so i have a little bit of an

Starting point is 01:06:39 issue with this new girl that i'm seeing um it feels weird even saying that it's an issue um so when we first started talking. So I've been single for like a year and I'm, you know, I just kind of started getting back out there, like dating, dating around on the apps and whatever. And so I met this girl and she used to be a dancer, but now, you know, she's like a single mom now. And she's really cool. She's really smart and funny. But she told me pretty early on that in a lot of her last relationships, like the guys, the guys that she would date would say that she, she likes sex too much or she wants too much sex um and my initial

Starting point is 01:07:18 thought was like what what fucking guy would would say that a girl wants sex too much that sounds like a fucking dream um and then we started having sex and at first I could keep up it was like five five to six times a night and I mean I wasn't busing every time you know

Starting point is 01:07:34 but uh no well that doesn't count yeah but that hasn't slowed down and it's been like four weeks now um to the point where I'm like I'm like I'm like like my shit hurt sick

Starting point is 01:07:45 yeah she consistently makes me late for work because I'll like I'll try to get up an hour before work and she just won't like psychological she keeps trying to suck my dick and fuck me and I'll be like

Starting point is 01:07:58 all right and I'll get like one sock on and then she'll start sucking my dick again which I'm not going to be like I'm not going to be like no but then I'll be like 15 minutes late for work because she was

Starting point is 01:08:10 because she was fucking me um yes i mean this is like a my first legitimate encounter with a nymphomaniac i think um and she told me before that even in a long relationship like that doesn't really slow down for her she just has like a constant

Starting point is 01:08:25 constant need for sex like that's how she that's how she expresses like affection or like love or whatever there's other ways to do that and it's cool man i like i like sex is dope but that's it's a lot much we like to fuck around here too but yeah i'd appreciate any advice you guys have thank you guys Thank you so much. Peace. Well, you can't, I mean, look, you can fill the hole between her legs, but not the one inside of her heart.

Starting point is 01:08:49 Yeah. No amount of juice is feeling that, filling that hole. Yeah. I mean, imagine it, like, you know the chafe. Like, you can't fuck through the chafe then. No. I mean, this is insane. I bet the fact that she's a dancer probably makes you want to keep up with her so that you feel like at work there's no libido left or something.

Starting point is 01:09:10 She used to be. Oh, she's not anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you got to say You gotta say something Or get sponsored by Gatorade Damn, she used to be I bet you a couple guys got

Starting point is 01:09:21 Pretty, we're pretty stoked When she was working When they caught her on a shift You know what I mean? I think there's probably some pretty cool stuff Only $10 for that? Yeah, right Yeah, dude

Starting point is 01:09:32 I mean This is a problem It is funny, he's like I feel dumb even saying it's problem It's a fucking problem It's crazy She has a problem She has an issue

Starting point is 01:09:41 She has a cycle psychological issue, and yes, you, you hit it kind of on the head where it's like, that's how she expresses affection or like love, whatever. It's like, that's not normal. Sex is definitely a part of it, uh, of showing affection, of showing love, but it's like, she needs to work on the other ones. You know what another thing that's like, you show you affection to your partner is like not fucking their life up with your needs. Even if your needs happen to be sucking them off. Yeah. It's crazy to say that, but it's like if what if you're with anyone and whatever, what they want, soon. supersedes what makes your life better, even when it's something cool like fucking, that's bad. I can't believe I have to explain this to you. What do you say four to five times a night? Even a day is that's a night. That's insanity. I mean, look, that's one cool, awesome.

Starting point is 01:10:28 That's like you have like one awesome day a year where you don't do anything else but fuck. Black Friday. You know, black Friday. Back when we were a country, you'd fuck your wife four times. You'd have to be full of turkey. Yeah, just the slow, ineffectual fucks. But four times in between watching Saving Private Ryan on TMC, T-CM, Turner Classic movies, with commercials. With the ads, that's important.

Starting point is 01:10:53 You're in the ads when you would fuck. You're watching a classic like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't too bad. All right, let's have a look at this. That seems going on over here.

Starting point is 01:11:03 That's when you do it. But yeah, you have to have a conversation. And, like, look, it basically amounts to who is this person to you really? Like is this a cool You're dating her for a little bit You get so you fuck her a bunch And then you're like all right This is obviously gonna work

Starting point is 01:11:17 Or is someone that you have You want a future with Because if it is you have to be like Hey this is a problem that you have to solve Also a great I mean it's gonna be a very good barometer For like how do you guys work through an issue Because this is like you can't look

Starting point is 01:11:33 The reason why he's fucking leaving a message Is because it's not sustainable So you know you gotta just be like look It's not possible I think when someone, I bet you when she starts this off by being like other dudes couldn't keep up, you probably are like, well, I can fuck do that until you're, you know, your penis looks like a newborn gerbil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is.

Starting point is 01:11:55 It's a great test to see if you do want to be in this because if she's like, that's your problem, then, you know, it's not fucking good communication. Even her, like, framing it's like, yeah, guys in the past have told me it's too much. Her not having any self-awareness that maybe you're literally the problem. If every one of your relationships ended because you fucked too much, you don't know how much fucking that has to be? Like, that's insane. So she hasn't really, she has to, it actually, like, that what I'm saying is, that makes me a little skeptical of her, like, being able to really face it.

Starting point is 01:12:29 Like, she's basically, she's framed it as it's been a proud, the other people haven't been able to keep up. And that's not what's going on here. Yeah, right. You have a fucked up, you know, she's addicted to something. It happens to be having sex, but this is the same as any other addiction, really. Yeah. She's got, I mean, it's good that it's with you, I guess, but it's like still.

Starting point is 01:12:48 This is also, like, too much by honeymoon period standards. Like, they've only been dating four weeks. Like, the first month you're dating someone, like, yeah, you're probably going to fuck way more on average. Of course. The longer you are together. So if she wants to fuck so much that, like, you can't keep up a month. Right now. Oh, yeah, dude, come on.

Starting point is 01:13:08 It's untenable. It's fully untenable. No, you got to bring it up. You got to either solve this or we want. I mean, you actually physically have no other alternative. Yeah. This cannot, this will not sustain. I mean, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:13:21 He's like, I got fired. She goes for his belt buckle. Yeah. Oh, really? You know, you need a sock for your cock. And that's the first one you put on. Oh, what you need is this chastity belt. Yes.

Starting point is 01:13:33 You like, no, no. No. No. No. We shut it down for the day. You're going to ask me about my day first. We're going to have spaghetti. We're just sitting there to chastity about.

Starting point is 01:13:44 So what else have it, your day? Do all your chores and then you get digged. She's like, the keys under the bench. There you go. Careful. Oh, damn, hilarious. Hey, so I got a girlfriend, love her to death, adore her.

Starting point is 01:14:05 a lot of my life, but she hates one of my friends. A good friend of mine, known in for almost a decade at this point, he's been there for me. But she hates him. She hates him for a variety of reasons. He's a big magad dude. You know, when we live together, he's a flab.

Starting point is 01:14:22 X, Y, Z. He's a prison guard. He gets up to be women a lot. She's a lot of bad taste. What was the one after prison? He said jokes about being women a lot. I mean. Oh. So far.

Starting point is 01:14:34 So far, you know, She's pretty fucking right, dude. Anyway, let's keep going. He's a big maggot dude. You know, when we live together, here's a flab. X, Y, Z. He's a prison guard. He goes to have to eat women a lot.

Starting point is 01:14:49 It's a bad taste in my lady's mouth. Pause. But the real inciting incident is a chicken dip incident. She made a beautiful handmade, homemade, several hour long buffalo chicken dip, phenomenal. for a poker night that we had. And, you know, we're going to use the leftovers to make our buffalo chicken dip. This guy, you know, he comes with a poker night, he hangs out, doesn't really talk to anybody chills. And later that evening, at 3 a.m. when he's getting ready to go to work,

Starting point is 01:15:22 he just devours all of the chicken dip that's left over and makes a huge mess in the kitchen. And then vominosis. Vomit? No apology, no afternoon. Vominosis. Oh. But it's funny The funny sword

Starting point is 01:15:38 But I want to figure out It's not funny It's not funny at all, dude That's funny when you're like 12 And they're all clear that When you make something for poker night You can't expect leftovers Even at the end of poker night

Starting point is 01:15:51 You know, things happen, things change I like this Help me fix my broken homes, Bobby I got a bad news I mean there's And this dude is Now look Okay, I kind of see what they're saying.

Starting point is 01:16:08 Like, you make something for a party. You can't necessarily expect leftovers. But also, if that's the case, the guest who takes it, you help by cleaning up a little bit or doing something. Like, if I'm, if you're holding me to host duties, you know, you have to hold your guests to a little, you know, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, you eat the whole fucking thing and then you just fucking make a huge mess. That's, you're being an inconsiderate guest at least.

Starting point is 01:16:35 At minimum... It's also cumulative. It's like all the other shit. Like, if this was just a one-off and this guy just ate a bunch of fucking Buffalo chicken dip and took off, you know, all right, you can... But the rest of the stuff in totality is... Yes. This is...

Starting point is 01:16:50 Many red flags. This is getting Al Capone for tax fraud. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Those were not his real... Those were not his real crimes. That's not what we actually won in behind bars for. But this might hold up in court.

Starting point is 01:17:04 Yeah. You know, like, I might have an actual, like, yeah, look, I don't know this guy. And certainly I have friends that I don't agree with politically. But all I've heard is negative. What's the worst thing on that list, in your opinion, of those things that she... I think if your friend jokes about women... That's what I think. That's insane.

Starting point is 01:17:29 Like, that's this go-to joke? Well, and I mean... Yes. Because he does. He does. A guy who is a prison guard who doesn't care about other people who's a slob who's shown himself

Starting point is 01:17:40 to be like inconsiderate I think he probably is actually I do too and I also think why the fuck is he doing that material in front of her? Totally. You can't read the room.

Starting point is 01:17:51 Yeah. I'm not saying it's like great to be around it as a guy. No, but it's also like... But in front of your girlfriend to be like he doesn't... You add an extra layer of that being an annoying joke.

Starting point is 01:18:01 It is also that position that he's in is so fucking stressful because that that honestly what I would do is I would talk to your friend and I would be like look I want you to be friends with my girlfriend you are this guy sucks he's gonna be like you're a fucking pussy well that's over you know then you just go whatever I mean but that's that is the truth I would side I you side with her I mean she's right well that's the thing though this is a fork in the road moment unfortunately because look it's one thing to have like if your partner doesn't love

Starting point is 01:18:32 one of your friends, that's... Sometimes that can be understandable and sometimes there isn't agree to disagree type thing here. But if like... Well, like, like... You got... What kind of guy...

Starting point is 01:18:46 Like, it's... Even you being like, it's funny, it's like... The thing is, look, did he do anything technically wrong? But clearly this is not a person who is... Who cares about others. He clearly is a self-centered...

Starting point is 01:18:57 Like, it's kind of crazy to just eat a bunch of shit like at the last minute of a party to just like, I don't know, clean it out. Like a whole, it's also a dip. It's like that's a, you're eating in one sitting? That's fucking weird. It's a weird.

Starting point is 01:19:16 It's weird. By the way, that next day at work for him was pretty tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got buffalo chicken shits. I know. Also, he's a fucking prison guard. That's what I mean.

Starting point is 01:19:25 Like, there, that's not the best environment. Listen, I can deal with one of, all of these things like maga guy whatever i have friends who are maga guys like uh make a guy who makes jokes fucked up jokes in a vacuum that you know he doesn't mean them yeah i can you know obviously half my friends are like that someone's a slob i'm a fucking slob you know what i mean prison guard that one's maybe the toughest one in a vacuum but it's like even that it's like i have friends who are cops whatever you know what i mean like if the rest of them makes up for one thing that i don't typically look for in a friend yeah that's fine right

Starting point is 01:19:59 But this guy has all this stuff that he, like, to me, is he like doing it to piss your girlfriend off? Is he like, is he fucking with her? Is he being a dickhead? If he is, then that's a problem. And you have to think about maybe the, is this kind of, do you care about how serious is this relationship? And also, even if it's not her, do you want to end up, even when you end up with someone, is this guy going to be fucking weird to you, to who you end up? Think about this guy your wedding.

Starting point is 01:20:31 Are you okay with that? Exactly. I mean, that is like, this is going to be the worst fucking guy at your wedding. What I would maybe start with is separating the friendship. Like, have the friendship with him on the side. Don't bring him into your relationship with her. And then see if that, you parlay that into a conversation. But he's in the wrong for most of this shit.

Starting point is 01:20:52 So. I feel like with a lot of this shit, it's like, when we get calls like this, it's like, oh, I'm kind of growing apart with one friend or. I went out with my friend. He tried to fight a bouncer and then threw up in the Uber back and blah, blah, blah. It's like, you know, all the shit he's saying about his personality, it's like, yeah, you can be friends with a guy like that. But a lot of the times, like, especially as you get deeper into your 20s, it kind of comes down to how unpredictable is this person. If I invite them to something, can I guarantee that he won't get, like, fucking tanked?

Starting point is 01:21:25 Well, we're just, like, having a chill night. And also, like, fuck up my fridge and make the kitchen counter crazy and... And just be rude, right? Here's the thing. Did he do anything technically wrong with any of this? No, but is he being rude? Is he being a dickhead? What is he adding to your life?

Starting point is 01:21:42 Right? Yeah. Really, you should have this thought to yourself. What is this person adding to my life? What do I add to his? What's the like... And not that everything should be transactional, but at some point you have to think, like...

Starting point is 01:21:54 Because I've been in a relationship when you're younger, you have friendships where it's like, someone is essentially a leach on you or they treat you bad or they treat you like shit and you're like well this is my boy whatever and they're like why am i putting up with this you know what i mean like why do i actually need this do i actually like being around them or is it just inertia now you could be like this is my boy he's a fucking piece of shit i want to be my boy forever maybe i just can't have him around my wife or a girlfriend that's possible there's guys like that sure but i think this is a good opportunity for you to really think. Now, in terms of the buffalo chicken,

Starting point is 01:22:28 if we want to get granular here and talk about the Baltimore, the Buffalo Chicken Dip incident, yeah. I think it's not a letter of the law thing. It's like, it's like, come on, man, that was just, you were just kind of being a dighead. It's like, by the way, what did he bring? Okay, you're hosting poker night. I get that. But what did he bring, did he bring anything? Some great jokes about abuse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he bring anything? Did he help clean up? Did he do whatever? It's like, then he's just being a dickhead. Sometimes, like, I think that with my girlfriend sometimes.

Starting point is 01:22:59 It's like, I'm a bar rescue episode where she'll come in and there's just stuff that I've been like fine with forever. She's like, why is it like this? And I'm like, I don't know. We just got bugs in the vodka. It's fine. We just still pour it. She's like, no, and you kind of do. It is a helpful reassessment.

Starting point is 01:23:15 So I think you should. You should take it at face value for what it's worth and just kind of reassess it. Because honestly, that list is pretty fucking bad in totality. It's a bad list. It's a bad. Like, if you're telling me, for me in my life, those four things in one guy. Yeah. I'm probably not hanging out with that guy.

Starting point is 01:23:30 Me personally. Yeah. Like, prison guard plus one. I mean, take slob away. Yeah. Like, but prison guard and like, MAGA prison guard. Maga prison guard. Is he true?

Starting point is 01:23:42 Jers good. Maga wife jokes. Is he actually hitting his wife? Matt, you know what I mean? Like, slob listen. Hey, we're all slops. The chicken dip is maybe the least offensive one in a way. Yeah, I mean, look, he was just kind of being boorish.

Starting point is 01:23:56 Yeah. And that's the best you can hope for for a guy. Yeah, right, yeah, right. Yeah, it's kind of shitty. But yes, I actually, you don't say like, hey, I was planning on eating the thing I put out for my guess. This is one of those things where it's like, she just hates him. Yep. And so this just, this pissed her off because it was kind of rude.

Starting point is 01:24:15 But if, like, one of your friends did this. But it's also like, you know, she just hates him and that's the, that's really not a bait. Whatever. Well, that could be your right. weird he's being a dickhead but it's it's not horrible your other move could just be start hating one of her friends a lot show her eye for an eye it go on one of her friends yeah yeah go to stacy for a minute one of her lip-tard friends oh i bet you want to turn my fucking nephew trans bitch yeah they're using litter boxes in schools we're gonna

Starting point is 01:24:43 my friend is going to deport your fucking your friend he's signing up for i he's doing some I mean, this is the kind of guy who would be pumped to join ice. Yeah, Dean Cain energy. Yeah, fuck, I mean, whatever. It's hard for me not to say fuck this guy. But, you know, I will stop short of saying that, do I think I would like this person?

Starting point is 01:25:01 Absolutely not. But whatever, this is a chance for you to take stock. And I agree. That's so funny. A girlfriend being like Barra, being John Taffer. Totally. What are you doing? What is going on?

Starting point is 01:25:13 Why are you hanging out with a prison guard? He's all these abuse jokes. He's eating chicken death. You're going to get some of a guy. killed? What are you doing? Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah, so look, take stock, really think about this, and yeah, I think

Starting point is 01:25:29 your options are either if you want this guy in your life, then he's got to be, you got to keep him away from your girl, and he just is, you know, that's, and that happens, or really think, like, what, what does this person add, and like, what kind of life do I want? What kind of people do I want around me?

Starting point is 01:25:45 And it's not about his beliefs. It's how he treats other people. If he has all these beliefs and is nice to the people in your life, who cares, right? Yeah, totally. But if he's, if he just, if he's rude to somebody who should be one of the most important people in your life, especially if it's a serious relationship, I don't want guy, I don't want people like that in my life, people who, whether it's my girlfriend or like a family member or a best friend, you don't get the disrespect to people I care about and then stay one of my friends. So, think of him at your wedding. Without unchecked, think of him at

Starting point is 01:26:16 your wedding. Yeah. This is a wedding ruiner for her. her. Oh, he's not coming to the way. There's no way. And then you get, so then confront it now. Get it out of the way now. That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Because I do think at a wedding, people are allowed vetoes. Yeah. This guy's a big veto. Yeah. Once you get married, you're like, all right, you're my family. You get the ultimate veto. Yeah. Anyway. He'll take it well. Oh, yeah. He'll take a veto real well. For sure, for sure. Ridge wallet, what a product. We're talking premium materials, aluminum, titanium, carbon fiber.

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Starting point is 01:29:00 I'm just going to get right into it. My fiancé and I are getting married in February. We're doing a Mexico, Cancun, destination wedding. and then we're just going to extend out our stay there for our honeymoon. Nice. I want to stay somewhere super bougie, super luxury, because I'm like, this is our honeymoon. I get that.

Starting point is 01:29:25 You know, it's the only one we're going to have. And we've never, like, bawled out before. I think it's worth it. Also, we both will be 35 and have to get on, like, having kids right away. So it's going to be, like, our last big trip. the issue is is my fiance thinks it's too much money to which I said well I will pay for most of it I make you know significantly more money than him and I'm also going to be getting my bonus rate around that time which is a nice chunk of change too so it's not it's not like we're

Starting point is 01:30:03 going to be using up all the money we have to pay for this trip it's just like you know a little bit, well, a lot nicer than a trip we would normally take. How do I get him on board? He's still him and Han. I just want to fucking do it, but I also don't think that's the best thing. Way to start

Starting point is 01:30:22 our marriage is just to me steamrolling him and being like, no, this is what we're doing. So thanks. We'll love the advice. And yep, that's all. Okay, bye. Yeah, that's a hard one, because I get both sides a little bit, you know, where it's like, and

Starting point is 01:30:38 You're right. You don't want to start to be like, well, I make the fucking money, you broke, fucking idiot. Here's some fucking champagne. Eat some dragon fruit. I paid for it. You don't have to worry, broke boy. I'll pay for it. You know what I mean? I don't think that's going to be the most relaxing honeymoon.

Starting point is 01:30:55 Hurry up, enjoy it. We got to have kids. How about this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not in me and enjoy this Civeche. Here we go. It's funny to be like, I want to blow a lot of money. We got to have kids soon.

Starting point is 01:31:08 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do, I mean, I kind of get where she's coming from because it's like, you know, like you want it to be a big deal. You want it to be nice. You wanted to, you want to, you want to, if there's, if there's moments in your life to kind of, I understand splurging on the honeymoon so much more

Starting point is 01:31:27 than I understand splurging on a wedding. Completely agree. Like the honeymoon is like, if you're going to. The wedding is the craziest way to start your, like that's, yeah, that's insane. But like, going on a night, like taking a. really luxurious trip you might never in your life you might never you know you you know have the kind of disposable income and time to be able to take this level of trip i agree with you i think though and you know i would have now i have money but even when i wasn't i definitely would like there were

Starting point is 01:31:55 important things i would just yeah because that's what life is about yeah it's enjoying these fucking moments you don't want to have a 50% shittier time at one of you the most important moments of your life so that you like what can afford a little bit faster internet like what do you know whatever utility you're paying utilities yeah you're paying utilities yeah you know what i mean like oh yeah we could have a life-changing trip but hey we paid for 14 months of fios instead it's like i don't know yeah i i also wonder if you can maybe like loop but could could you not just put on your registry that this is part of what you want and then they're already they're already going um destination wedding though like you do you don't have a registry for those i just think like sometimes

Starting point is 01:32:35 I mean, believe me, I wouldn't go. I was a pain in the ass out. That's what I'm saying is like when people, when you do destination, it's almost like you're like, hey, just get there. I think that happens a laugh. I've got an evil pitch on what she did. Hit me with it. She could pretend that someone gave her the money and then she just uses her money and doesn't

Starting point is 01:32:51 tell him. Oh, make up a lie. Uncle Adley. You remember my old Uncle Adley? I don't think I've heard of him before. Uncle Adley? The millionaire? I certainly, I told him.

Starting point is 01:33:04 I spent a night in his house to get us in his house. Everettance every past? Wow, my part of Uncle Adley's inheritance just came in. Wouldn't you know it? It's exactly what the resort costs. There's a waterfall in the room. Uncle Adley. Lay the foundation now about Uncle Adley too.

Starting point is 01:33:22 Start breadcrumbing Uncle Adley. I don't know if Uncle Adley's going to be able to make it. He's not feeling well. He's on dialysis. Oh, no. He's my favorite. Start photoshopping yourself. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:33:34 Start photoshop yourself as a child with Uncle Adly. Adley It could be the Julia Louis Dreyfuss relative. He looks Adlerling

Starting point is 01:33:39 Yeah he starts start crying like Uncle Adel died and then three days later

Starting point is 01:33:44 be like you're never going to believe it he left us $25,000 but okay if there's you're right

Starting point is 01:33:53 you don't want a steamroll but it's very important to you and to him this is important because he's probably

Starting point is 01:33:57 like you know he's just money conscious whatever so the I think

Starting point is 01:34:04 the compromise here is like you got to pinch penny somewhere else to make your fiance husband feel better about this clearly it's purely about it's not like he doesn't want to have an awesome time with you yeah maybe nervous about money that that might be a good way into it is to sort of present it in a way where you're offering like a swap of savings in some capacity that makes him feel like you're not just dipping into savings but you're kind of countering it with yeah some actual like it's a hard one too because it's like, I mean, it is.

Starting point is 01:34:37 It's like the time you want to celebrate, you're getting pushback. You don't want to be fucking arguing over how good the time you want to have. This is really hard. This is really fucking hard. I think she should just, she should think of it as like steamrolling, but like just like persuasive.

Starting point is 01:34:53 Because even what you guys are saying, it's like, that is an optics thing. She's like, yeah, we'll get this, but we'll, you know, only spend 300 on groceries this month or something or,

Starting point is 01:35:03 you know, You know, it's just like moving theoretical money around. It's like, I think you can steamroll him a little. Put on that little. We're coming back to Uncle Adley again, which really age as well. Yeah. I know you're saying. What I mean by steamroll is just be like, this is really important to me.

Starting point is 01:35:22 I really want to pay for this. I think we could have an awesome honeymoon. We'll figure out the money later or whatever you want to say. But I think all it takes is like just sitting him down and saying that. And, you know. Saying it's really important to me, but what if he's like, it's really important to me to not start off our marriage financially in a whole? What if they're in a fucking, what if they're in a stalemate? You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:35:45 Like, could you maybe just like do half and half and like, you know, lower it for half of it and the second half is a little more luxurious? And so you're not spending the whole, you know, you're not spending all of it. You're spending half of what you were telling. I mean, you know, compromise. Yeah, I mean, I do think compromise is sort of some kind. of compromise here is like is the answer i mean it's hard because it's just like you really want this i mean i guess i guess you could try what eliz's saying and be like hey this is really important to me could we do it and then if he if he hits you back with then's like well then can we compromise

Starting point is 01:36:19 somewhere like try eldest's thing yeah if you're met with resistance say well then let's find something that makes us both happy can we cut some costs can we stay you know like you said maybe one day at a cheaper part of town and and you know another like can we just cut it a little bit is Is there a dollar amount that would make you comfortable if we cut it? Take him to a dangerous part of town and be like, this is your choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for real. But, no, I think that's true. I think, I mean, I think even if you offer up some kind of compromise, that'll probably

Starting point is 01:36:48 at least help grease the wheels a little bit. That's a tough, though. And maybe even be like, all right, I guess I'll take some extra shifts. It's also tough because it's like, like, I wouldn't. I'd be like, fucking great. You pay for it. But there are men who would be. like, no, no, we can't afford it.

Starting point is 01:37:05 It's like, if someone's paying for it, I'd be in. But you can also understand the fragility of being a male being like, she's paying for it. That potentially could be playing into a little bit. I mean, I also think, like, yeah, when we don't know if this guy's like this at all, but it's like, if you're feeling financially cucked by your wife to begin with, and then it's like, oh, don't be silly little boy, I can afford it. You know what I mean? He feels like, that's my fetish.

Starting point is 01:37:29 I know, it's all. I mean, I don't understand this at all. Yeah, obviously. Don't get me wrong. I think this guy's a fucking idiot. But I could see, like, I think I could see somebody having that. It's an emotional reaction to feeling emasculated. And here, he has control in that you have to make the decision together.

Starting point is 01:37:47 Yeah. But, like, it's tough because he knows his control is, it's soft power versus, like, she has the actual. She, if push really comes to shove, she kind of has the power. All he can do is kind of, is complain in a way that is, traditionally feminine. You know what I mean? It's like if a 50's housewife didn't want her husband to buy a car, he'll be like, well, too bad, sweet cakes, I'm buying it.

Starting point is 01:38:12 And that's enough out of you. You know what I mean? Like, he's in that position. You stick to goulash. I'll pick the car. Yeah. He, like, maybe that's what it is. But like, you know, hopefully not.

Starting point is 01:38:22 Hopefully he's not emasculated by it. And hopefully if you just are like, hey, this, you know, try it. And then if anything, make even some, and if it is, if it is ego, thing, even a token like compromise could go along. Yeah, I don't, yeah. Even shaving off a couple G's outfit could go along. Yeah, you know, I heard you. Yeah. We'll do this instead

Starting point is 01:38:45 for these two nights. We'll fly back coach or, you know, who knows. You'll fly back coach. I'll sit first. Yeah, yeah. You'll go coach. But I also feel for her because it's like she can afford it. She really wants it. It seems like she can. I wonder, maybe she's overdoing it. Maybe, and maybe he's like being

Starting point is 01:39:02 rational but either way like that's why you offer the compromise i mean it's actually probably a pretty good way this like after you get married to have a big point of contention and compromise on it is you know what this is yeah actually getting through this is a is the most significant part of it good good bar to test you know and if it doesn't work then hey maybe you could not just call the whole fucking thing off you know what he's been a fucking asshole find a guy from high school used to titty fuck him six times one night fuck it fuck his dick off And then go from there. Oh, does you have anything fun for us to go out on here, little buddy?

Starting point is 01:39:39 Yes. Hey, Stav, LB. I love the podcast. So I have a question for you. I work in a clean room, and I, like, eat, like, shit a lot of the time. You work in a clean room? How do you...

Starting point is 01:39:57 I'm not sure exactly what that is. What the fuck is a clean room? what do you do if you need to shit yourself on stage because I have like really bad stomach issues I'm a pretty fat guy green room What the fuck is a clean room Do you think he's talking about Eldis's search

Starting point is 01:40:18 No no don't do the AI What do we say about the AI Oh Is an engineered space Why would this guy work here A clean room or clean room is an engineered space that maintains I thought he was trying to say he's like a stand-up and he works in a room where you can't.

Starting point is 01:40:34 No. No. He's actually works in a... So it's like something that's like... Some lab or something where you can't have a lot of contaminants. This guy's got a shart. This guy's where... This is a great problem.

Starting point is 01:40:47 There's shit leaking out of his ass. 24-7. Keep going, Elders. I don't know, man. I just like... I like can't not eat good, I guess. So I, like, have to spend a lot of time in a clean room and don't really have the opportunity to use the bathroom a lot for my job. So I was just wondering if you had any advice on, I mean, I take like Peptobismol, but sometimes that's hitting, that shouldn't even ain't enough.

Starting point is 01:41:15 Oh, that's tough. So do you have any advice on, like, if you're, like, on the plane or if you're, like, on stage, how you not hit yourself, that'd be much appreciated. I just talk about this This is insane Yeah He's worried about Shitting himself in the clean room It's amazing to

Starting point is 01:41:33 Not be like I'll just stop eating like shit Because this is part of my job Yeah Your diet is your diarrhea issue Dude I don't know what to tell you Because I am fat as shit And I did

Starting point is 01:41:46 We did go through this with the bus Where I did kind of have to just change my diet Because you weren't allowed to shit at night On the bus And so yes I took some Pepto If you've gotten into the point where you're fucking eating through pepto, that's a level even I'm not at, dude.

Starting point is 01:42:02 This is actually a very good problem for you because this is a, this problem is a lot bigger than trying to hold your sharts in a clean room. Yeah, without the clean room, actually, you might have gone down on even more sinister pattern. Yeah, you really should be able to take this and recognize that this is, this is a holistic change. Yeah, dude. I don't know how old you are, but treat this like your mid-30s. It's time to re-an it. some of your shit.

Starting point is 01:42:26 At the very minimum, you have to get to the point where Peptobismol stops you from shitting. At the very minimum, but ideally you need to be able to control your bowels enough, man. You're an adult. I don't even know what the fuck to tell you.

Starting point is 01:42:39 Then I guess you could do emotium because it's stronger than PEPT. Well, I'll tell you, that emotium does work. The modium does work. I also would consider going to a doctor. Definitely. We had that I'm working to help where it was like, we were like advising this guy

Starting point is 01:42:51 went into a sauna and he kept like finding brown stains on his, towel when he would get up. And we were, like, pitching for ages. And then, like, everyone in the comments was like, that man should go to a doctor. And we're like, that's a good one, too. So shit would leak out of this guy's ass in the sauna?

Starting point is 01:43:05 Well, then it turned into a whole fucking thing where, yes. And then what ended up happening was... So then we told this guy to get a Brazilian and see if it kept happening. And then I got one in solidarity. So I got my asshole waxed. And my front waxed. Wow, full clean. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:43:21 Full clean. And it was absolutely the fucking worst. I mean, I did, I was sweating. It was the craziest thing. So you got your whole wax and then went into a sauna? No, I didn't even do the sauna. I just did, as a brotherhood move, got it all waxed. And Jake wasn't trying to get waxed.

Starting point is 01:43:38 No, Jake's like, I was on a Fox show for eight seasons. Like, no. And I was like, I'll do it. And it did cure his problem. And it did make me be like, I'm kind of like having my asshole waxed. I've heard the asshole is the best part of the wax. And the, without question, the way easy. your wax. And then people say it's like

Starting point is 01:43:57 relaxing. Well, it's hard for me to know because I had the front done first and that was hell on earth. Do they wax your nuts when you do the front? Yeah, but that's not even the worst part. The pubis is the hell. The top. The pout. The mounds Yeah, and then it's the she's going and it's like you're sitting,

Starting point is 01:44:12 it's like you're in a baby position with a woman stranger. It's awful overall. It's like I would rather some I would rather my therapist talk about what I talk about versus like this woman be able to reveal my stories. Yeah. But But I think, like, maybe you want to go, you know, you might have, like, if you can't keep your shit in, it's either your diet or there's something bigger. I'm not this fucking fat, by the way.

Starting point is 01:44:36 Let me just also put it that way. I agree. Yeah. I'm not the kind of fat that is worried his ass will, you know, ruin a clean room or whatever. A clean room. He's like manufacturing COVID cells. He's not enough time to get this hazmat off. Well, it is like having to get a hazmat off to shit is really an amazing. ordeal. This is good, though, for you. I think we were in agreement. You needed this

Starting point is 01:44:59 was a wake-up call. You needed this outside structure on your hole. Yes. Because left to its own devices, it would be, you would just be leaking 24-7. So you just need to fix yourself, brother. I'm sorry. This is tough love here. Yeah. If it wasn't a clean room, I would say maybe diaper it, but this is, you can't be dipping. You're too young for diapers, man. Yeah, no, well, we got to get them out of diapers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Too young for diapers. You got to get out, man. You got to get a better fucking diet. You got to regulate your shitting. I don't know what to tell you. More solid. I'll bet there's a lot of booze mixed in here. You know, I would definitely, let's start with the diet. A little more fiber. Get a little more

Starting point is 01:45:41 regular. You know what I mean? Eat a breakfast. Because, you know, a little metamucal will get you right. Now, listen, I have never had to shit more than when the metamutial shit comes calling, I've heard they're exceptional. There's no stopping it. Yeah. But it comes out on a nice log and it gets you, it clears you out. It's good stuff. So that's actually a good thing too.

Starting point is 01:46:06 It sounds like any of, this is diarrhea. I mean, this is definitely diarrhea. Has to be. You do want to solid it up. Metamusel is probably a good call. Start with metamucle. Get yourself on a schedule. You need to get on a shit schedule.

Starting point is 01:46:18 That's really what it's about. Yeah. You need to learn how certain foods affect your body. Eat more fiber. Eat some beans. Or quit your job and just enjoy your life. Yeah. What is your job?

Starting point is 01:46:28 What could you? What is a guy? Because a clean room, I think, is like a lab or like a, it's like a, it's something we're like, so great. There's something so dialed in that a particle of dust will ruin it. Sterl. It's like where Tom Cruise lands in the first missing impossible and can't touch the ground. Exactly. Important equipment.

Starting point is 01:46:46 And this guy's in there with his butt cheeks clutch so hard. With like $10 million equipment that they can't get a speck of dirt on it. Yeah. And this guy's just like, I'm going to fucking die. Like, what are you doing in that clean room? Can we also talk about how great his shit is after work? That must just be the greatest. It's better than sex.

Starting point is 01:47:03 When he's like, oh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hizzing. It's just the ass-chizzing. Running, dude, he's fucking dropping his pants. His coworkers want to, like, chat on the other. Just jiggling his jeans outside. So as far as Sunday goes, where do you want to meet on? Not, I have to, I have a call. Well, let's just logistically get this figured out.

Starting point is 01:47:22 Well, dude, give me a second. My mother's calling me. I think it looked like there's anything on his screen. Oh, my God. That first one, dude. That first unclench. Well, you know what it reminds me of when you first start sleeping with someone and like the first like three or four dates when you spend the overnight

Starting point is 01:47:43 and then you're about to become a piece of actual shit by the time you like get out. You stop by a grocery store and you run it and you just shit your brains out. And you're like, that purge is better than anything. Oh, yeah. Fuck a cleanse. That is just the greatest moment ever. Totally. Running up to the front being like, what's the door code?

Starting point is 01:48:00 Let me walk through the back of the meat talk. I'll buy gum. I'll buy gum. I'll buy gum. I know I'm in the lock, employee lockers. What's the door code? I'm fucking a hot woman. She can't know what comes out of my ass.

Starting point is 01:48:16 I fucking a clean room. She can't know. It's too early to show her this part of myself. She'll leave. if she learns, I'm a monster, you fools. Slapping someone who's just on a forklift. You idiots! Open one of those boxes!

Starting point is 01:48:34 Oh, fuck. Open up, I'm going to shit on those scrub daddies. I'm going to shit on 48 scrubb daddies. Oh, they'll soak it up like mushrooms on an oil spill. You fools! Oh, fuck. There you go, man. I don't think we could be any clearer than that.

Starting point is 01:48:58 Yeah, I think it's pretty obvious what to do. Good luck, man. Get your hole in order. Honestly. Gareth, thank you, brother. Thanks for fucking coming. This is awesome. I appreciate it.

Starting point is 01:49:08 Everybody, check out the freaking pods. Yeah. We're here to help. Yeah. Next we have is a new one. Go to my YouTube, which is Gareth Reynolds TV. And then I still have the dollop. The dollop of course.

Starting point is 01:49:19 Check the dollop out. I did this podcast around. But you're still chugging, baby. Still more history to figure out? Oh, yeah. It becomes more applicable to today. We started the show and we were like, man, what a bunch of whack-a-doodle idiot.

Starting point is 01:49:32 And now we're like, yeah, I know, of course, yeah. As whites are prone to do. Teapot Dome, you're probably talking about that quite a bit. Oh, yeah. A lot of Ulysses S. Grant, like era type shit. No, there's so much shit. We're talking about it and be like, yeah, it seems like maybe two, three years from now.

Starting point is 01:49:49 We'll be back to that shit. Absolutely. that's that's honestly kind of being a history guy when I was younger does make me feel a little bit because I remember reading and being like can you imagine this stuff happening oh dude and I'm like you know what it happened then little rise of fascism's happening now we'll get through it like there's no it's not happening no it's we're in the middle of it no and it's like we'll get through it I mean remember when you when you heard that they put Japanese people in concentration caps in America and you're like Jesus Christ how that ever happened you're like

Starting point is 01:50:20 okay, you know, George Dekai got to make movies afterwards. There's going to be a bunch of, like, Mexican children that will be talking about what an atrocity this was. Now you're like, those Japanese internment camps sound pretty nice, honestly. Not alligators surrounding them, L.A. I know, man, it's so fucked.

Starting point is 01:50:38 No, completely fucked. You know, we're all fucked, so just take a night. America's trying not to shit in a clean room. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, get some night. Yeah, let's firm up America's shit with some, with the metamusal of, of caring about your community

Starting point is 01:50:54 and, you know, resisting fascism where you can. Supporting those you love and supporting those you love, you know. Trump's a Poundell. It's pretty clear. Release the Epstein files. Clinton was too.

Starting point is 01:51:07 We don't care, by the way. Yeah, no. No, we're not like, none of us are like dying on Clinton Hill. Remember when we started in the beginning when we said it's rich guys versus the rest of us? They are the ones who fuck kids. Yes.

Starting point is 01:51:15 The rich of all stripes, fuck kids. We're ready to take down any of those fucking guys Non-pillionaire. I'm starting a coalition of non-pillar millionaires. Single millionaires. Not in the tens. Just a low-digit millionaire that doesn't fuck kids. We're starting a coalition of them. We're going to take this country back. We're the most relatable political party of the last hundred years. We're a little richer than you. We're a not kid fucking millionaires. If the shit came push came to shove, you know, a million dollars is not what it used to be. You hear the term a millionaire. You think he lives in a big. big ivory tower. Not what it is.

Starting point is 01:51:53 Okay, maybe he's got his whole family living off him, you know, and when you really think about it, he doesn't have that much spending power. A lot of stuff going on here, and we don't fuck kids. Most importantly, we don't care if you release the Epstein files. We want them released,

Starting point is 01:52:08 in fact. That's a disqualifier in our party. You are not allowed if you're a kid. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no kids. No kids. No kids. None. That's a beautiful political stance Yeah, we're going to grow that We're going to grow that movement

Starting point is 01:52:25 We don't fuck kids And it's so popular We're what we call populists Yeah We don't fuck kids That's the thing you could aspire to be You can never gonna be a billionaire But you might be a non-peck

Starting point is 01:52:35 I'll cool it that be One millionaire You might have one million dollars And not for kids I think you can do that folks We need a strong safety So social safety net to have that to happen I'm from South Carolina

Starting point is 01:52:47 Raised by a farmer Who didn't fuck any children My mother wasn't a pal, either. You're a regular guy like you. I bought Bitcoin as kind of a joke. Turns out it's worth exactly $1 million and $100. And I don't, fuck, kids. I have no interest.

Starting point is 01:53:05 And it's not like I'm sitting on the appeal or something. I have no attraction. I'm not even close to the fence. I like a mature woman as a matter of fact. I'm bisexual for adults. oh fuck all right that's going to do for us folks see you next time bye bye

Stavvy's World - #147 - Gareth Reynolds

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