Stavvy's World - #150 - Rosebud Baker

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

Rosebud Baker returns to the pod to discuss her new special The Mother Lode (Netlfix), how motherhood's going, how her daughter's hair is taking a while to grow in, the spike in stress levels she sees parents have when they have more than one kid, how everyone's having kids older now, and much more. Rosebud and Stav help callers including a woman whose boyfriend has a weird tic where he sniffs his own crotch, a guy whose father-in-law confessed that he's been having an emotional affair, and a nice Southern boy who just can't seem to get laid. Watch Rosebud Baker's special The Mother Lode out now on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81711233 See Rosebud Baker live and follow her on social media: https://rosebudbaker.com/ https://www.instagram.com/rosebudbaker/ https://www.youtube.com/user/rosebudbaker https://www.threads.com/@rosebudbaker   https://www.tiktok.com/@rosebudbaker   https://www.facebook.com/RosebudBakerNYC/ Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wyx330el #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Eat smart with Factor. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/stavvy50off and use code STAVVY50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Visit https://bluechew.com/ and use promo code STAVVY to try your first month of BlueChew FREE -- just pay $5 shipping. Visit Cornbread Hemp at https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/stavvy and use code STAVVY for 30% off your first order. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavvy's World, 904-800-stav. Call in, we'll solve your problems. Coming at you early. Rosebud's struggling. Yeah, I really am. Not drinking any. Just up late. Just up late.

I was dancing. Wow, dancing. I was just dancing with pals. And friend of the show, Marie Faustin, who I don't recall either one of us getting invites to this party, eldest. Friends for a decade. At least I am. I don't know about you. Was that her birthday?

I don't, was it? What was it? It was her birthday. Wow. Can you believe this? But I think everybody was like invited. Was any straight man there? I can't recall.

That might be the one. I can't recall. If it's all women and gay guys, then maybe I'll let it slide. I think Jay showed up like late. Maybe Devin was there. And Devin was there. Yeah. Yeah.

It was pretty. And they both sat on the side. Yeah. You know. Would that have been so much to ask to sit on the side and eat the snacks. Hands in his. None of the gay guys were eating. I would have loved to do that.

It was great. There was edibles on every table. There was the plan B pill was on every table. I love that. Which was great because it was just women and gay men. Gay guys taking it? Yeah, take it for your pocket. Yeah, just put it in your pocket.

Your back pocket. I wonder if there is a guy so gay. He's mistakenly taken Plan B. As prep. After unprotected sex. He's like, I can't be a mother. after he's just getting roasted at a gay club

that would be nice I'm sure someone has done that I always think prep is like plan B for the gates I don't think it works I don't think it's like per load no no

that would be a lot of pills they'd be fucking they'd have Maracas they'd walk around is it per sperm it's per sperm Oh man, the plan B days. Yeah.

I have I have really nervously purchased some plan B and like not ask to see someone go ah, but like really looked at them, being like, why do we go get like coffee immediately? Let me check under the tongue. Like a rehab. Hey, do you want a smoothie? Drink it all right now. You turn into like James Bond trying to suss out. Oh, dude.

Oh, good Lord. I mean, I have told the story before, but there was a moat where I was like, I watched the Jenny Slate movie Obvious Child with a girl had been like kind of, you know, I'd been like dating casually for a while. Not a mention of condoms. You know, I'm in my early 20s. Not a mention of condoms. In my head, I'm like, well, this is a responsible woman.

She's not letting me raw dog. Right. And then she goes, whew, I couldn't. And it's like, Jenny Slate gets an abortion. She's like, oh, I could never do that. I was like, yeah, but, you know. you're on the pill and she's like

I'm not on the pill and I was like Oh This is my life last Before my eyes I'm like fucking CBS open now It was late

We went first thing in the morning Damn Yeah tough stuff I think I just took I'll take it like I'll just pick it up If it was there Like last night

I just picked it up Sure Because I was like I don't I'm like I'm not gonna leave it there Yeah yeah yeah It's good to have Yeah

Also, I'm not having a second fucking kid. That's, it's, that's, that's, I'm done. I'm done so. Yeah. And that's, that's the toll on your body or the idea of, like, having another child running around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The toll on your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, it's crazy. Yeah, because I get that, because, uh... Not that, I'm not saying, like, it's, uh, not worth it, but I'm just saying it's, it's crazy different than it. What if you, but the devil's advocate, it's like, if you had one fat, like, if you adopted one right now. Yeah. Right? You kind of get all the bullshit out. at once and then

you just kind of let them cohabitate. That's what people think. That's what people think. They go, oh, I'm just going to get it all out of the way and then, like, they have a second kid and the next time you see them, they just look like they're fleeing a war-torn country. Like, they're fucked up. Yeah, absolutely.

It takes over your life. Well, I feel, I mean, my parents had the exact same thing happened where it was like they wanted two kids and they had me first and then they had twins after me. and if they had the twins first there's no other kid and so they just got and they were poor as fucked

like there was not like there was no yo okay well fuck I'll hit the road a little more there's no I'll do clubs I hate doing or there was like oh we're I mean they figured it out whatever I don't I still just look I would love to see footage of the way we were raised like I would love to see the gruel we were

I mean we were a big cream of wheat family eldest God knows what fucking kind of refugee milk sacks. What U.N. powdered milk you were fucking raised on from ages four to fucking six. Okay, we were getting good bargains at Sam's club. Buy in bulk.

But the Albania, Greece, eldest was literally, he spent a year in a Greek monastery. Damn. Like his parents were, they were legitimate refugees on their way to. They just left you there and took off. They got our papers in order there.

Yeah. He was at a way station. We visited it when we were in Greece last year. Damn. Or two years ago. It was kind of wild. You walk in, the memories come flooding back. Honestly, yeah.

Yeah. I said this, it felt like I found something I never knew I lost. It was crazy. You said that. Damn. That's beautiful.

That's poetic. I can hear those words echoing through the monastery. Elders. Yeah. I mean, my first memories from life are there. It was cool. That is crazy.

It was crazy. We, like, found the nun that, like, was teaching me and my sister had to, like, speak Greek. She was, like, not religious at all.

right. Right. Smoking hot. Yeah, yeah, she was fucking huge things. No. There was like a energy vibrating

off this woman. Really? Where I was like, I don't think like whatever exact Bible shit she thinks is real is real. But she is tapped into something that,

because I do think there's like a layer of shit we don't understand like a consciousness and energy, whatever, like that people have sort of sort of like

religious I think sometimes people tap into that and they think it's like the Bible that was written 4,000 years ago or whatever scripture they believe in. No, I think there's like a spirituality thing that if you get into it, like you can feel it from people. And that I think people use the religions they understand as a conduit to get closer to it. Yeah. Or like at least some people who have these who are connected in that way. Right. Like I don't even think they're that different from like a motherfucker that like is a fortune teller or something.

Like I think they're kind of all those people have like some kind of, I think there are people who are sort of just more mistyting. kind of inclined in a weird way. This woman was like that, dude. She had like a, like I, for like three hours driving away was like, is God real? I was like, she's like being around this lady and just like her folk, her like zeroed it. It was like. The way that like, I feel like it's the way people make eye contact. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like if you meet somebody who's like super spiritual, they can make eye contact and they will not break. Totally. And they're not even a little bit afraid. anything. Yeah. Yeah, they're fully, like, they've given their life to something. They're so, they're present in a way that's, like, unnerving. That's like, fuck, that's like, you're like, well, I'm glad they're not evil. Right. Like, if they, if someone was like this in the, like, so in control and evil, it would be crazy. And staring into my soul like this and evil. And you feel like they know so much about you and they're just like, they can just size you up.

When I first got sober and I, like, went into, like, the program and shit and I would meet people who had been sober for a long time. I remember being so freaked out by the way that they would, like, stare into my soul. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was like, oh, they know everything I've fucking done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So bad. Well, yeah, somebody like that is who's been, who's now on the other side of it, but was you at a certain point? Yeah.

That is like an understanding. It's like you looking at a little kid. Yeah. It's like you looking at like a, like when your kid is like a teenager and she's like hiding drugs or booze or whatever. And you're like, oh, I know what you're doing. I'm so far ahead of you like this is crazy like they were you were like unnerved but they were they probably looked at you like a little kid probably there was like nothing but compassion in their eyes and I was like she fucking hates me yeah it's just a self-hating yeah absolutely yeah

that's cool though um but no that was that was that was that was definitely wild but anyway yeah that was that was the bomb that was dropped on my parents was like an extra kid but I can't believe you were able to tie it back to that. I had no idea. I had no idea how we got here. Hosting, baby. Look at you. This is what happens when you, by accident,

spend a decade of your life podcasting. Yeah. Like hours a day. You're able to fucking make those connections. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would just, I would have sat here two minutes of silence. We would have gone on sobriety for a while. Two minutes of silence.

I would have been like, what was it? Yeah, yeah. Well, just because, and my other thing, and this is total like, I don't have kids. privilege. This is like when somebody tells you, somebody tells you how, it's like, it's classic like how the scientific shit Republicans, the panels for women's health are all like the oldest men you've ever seen in your life. They're just totally like, I don't have kids. I don't know if I'll ever have kids. But I'm always like, you can't have an only child. Like I have that only children

are weird. You can't be bringing more into the world. That's my like, I tell you how you should live your life strong belief. Yeah. And I always feel like an asshole. doing it but is there a worry that you will have an only child that's kind of weird um not really yeah yeah well like if it's not a worry sure i'll put it that way sure sure sure could she end up weird abs to fucking louis yeah well she probably end up weird because she's half you and andy yeah to begin with she's gonna be a weird yeah yeah yeah yeah she's absolutely going to be a weird though but like i don't really worry about it because i feel like in new york there's nothing for kids to do in their homes so every kid has like they're all like in like an

activity every fucking day and so the people that they spend their time with are like their peers sure so the way that I kind of rationalize it to myself which is probably what I'm doing yeah yeah yeah is just go like ah she's gonna be like out of the house most of the time so the way like what you say when you get a shitty apartment yeah you're like I mean I don't need a fucking what am I gonna lay my head here I'm gonna be out and about all the time I don't need a window. She doesn't need to be socialized in her home. She'll get socialized in the fucking subway.

Yeah. Yeah. I think she's also like, I just watch her and I'm like, oh, she's good. Yeah, yeah. Like, she is so fucking social and so she has like five best friends. That's so cute. That she'll like come home and she's like, this is my best friend. This is my best friend.

She shows up places. Everybody's like, man out. She's like a party animal. So I'm not really like that. How old she now? She's almost two. Okay, wow, that's awesome. She's so funny.

She was, like, singing Michael Jackson this morning and shit. I didn't even know where she heard it. She was in the kitchen, she was like, I want to rock with you. She's like, what the fuck? So this is right when she starts forming, like, proto sentences, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, they're not, it's still cute because it's like the, when you see a baby kind of have, like, a subject and a verb in a sentence. It's like, it's not just comming.

man's, but they still look a bit like babies. Yes. It's a really cute zone to be in. And she's still kind of bald. Like I'm like, I don't know when her hair is coming, but she's doing full sentences. And I'm like, this has got to change. We're going to buy a wig. Is she thin up top?

Does she have, does she? She's got like curls on the sides, but it's just like it's so short that if she's not wearing a dress, everyone thinks she's a boy. Interesting, interesting, interesting. Yeah, I mean, the baby growth curve is so funny because sometimes, like, I have a friend whose kid, like, went from being an infant to just, like, a little guy. Right. Like, fully hair parted to the side.

Yes. Kind of a cheek, kind of cheekbones. Kind of like a jaw line. I'm like, what the, was this baby more fucking masculine than I am? And it was, like, overnight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Hair parted to the side on a baby always makes me laugh.

And it worked. Like, it's not like fake. Yeah. It's like, oh, yeah, he has to get his hair out of his eyes. Like, it's really funny. God, that's fucking cute. I know when they dress him up like a little gentleman. I know.

It is cute. It's fucking, I'm like, it's insane. Like, there is part of me is, like, now that she's talking and walking and it's funny and stuff, I'm like, oh, maybe I should have another. But I'm like, there's no fucking way. Like, me and Andy, one of us would have to quit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no, you know what I mean? And we're not doing that because we will fight each other to the death.

The one who does quit will always resent the other. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right now, even now, it's like, if he, it's so funny how we race to fill our calendar. before the other one can. The adversarial booking with your spouse. He'll pop it in the calendar. I'll be like, fuck, you know what I mean?

You should have a weekend draft. You should do it like, you know, you start every six months, you guys sit down, you're like, I want April 18th through the 21st. Yeah, we should do that, but we won't. Yeah, you'll just continue to slowly rack up the microaggressions against each other. Until they're full aggressions.

Yes, exactly. That's how you keep fucking. Yeah, you need to get it out. That's how you keep fucking. Yeah, that clears it out. Yeah. You go, I don't even want to talk about this. Should we just like, fuck?

What should happen? That is fucking, that is hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, we're, I mean, it is like, it's funny to think of every, like, life right now is a very baby. In my life, I feel like eldest, you, you were kind of there because you're, you were kind of there because you're, you know, your sister had kids earlier. But it is funny to just see, when you move to New York, you're trying to be like, oh, I'm going to be an entertainment, whatever.

You're like, oh, my life's different. It's not different. It's just like, it takes us 10 years later than everybody else. It takes so long. Because now I'm just like, oh, I'm like, oh, this is what, like, I was like making fun of my friends at home when they were, like, 26. And it's like, oh, no, now I'm the same way, but I'm, it's pathetic. I'm 36.

It's pathetic for me to be like, oh, babies it's like I'm a fucking I should have you we should have like are we should be talking about our kids going like which middle schools they're doing right now it's like like the classic thing when you look up what age the Simpsons were I know it's like they're all younger than us like like and their kids are nine or whatever I know I stands in his 20s when Steinfeld starts right it's like crazy and I yeah well they all looked 40 yeah yeah like when I watch Seinfeld now I'm like they but they're or not. They're all like younger than us. Yeah. They're all way younger than us. Yeah. But it is, I mean, I think it makes sense to wait. I don't think, I don't think we were totally wrong to make fun of them for having kids at 26. I mean. I think we were. They're going to be so much happier in their old age. Oh, 100%. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still, here's the pathetic I am. I'm still at like mentally 20 where I'm like, should I have kids? I know. I'm going to die. It might not be an option. Yeah, exactly.

Like, if I do, it's going to be, like... You're playing hard to get with, like, sperm that's not really doing it, you know? The chemicals, the artificial sweeteners that I've, like, you know, exposed my genetic code to. I can't even think about it. It's so funny to watch, like, everyone that I know, like, running into... I mean, it's not funny because I went through it myself, but, like, watching them run into, like, fertility issues when we've been, like, just running from the possibility of getting pregnant. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It flips so fast. Like, wait, what? Yeah, I want it now. I thought we had to try really, really hard not to. That's what I was taught. Yeah. You know? Doctors like, those days are over, sweetheart.

Fuck. Fuck. Yeah, that is, yeah. And then, like, how much old jizz is a problem for kids. Like, the, all this, like, autism stuff is like, there's more autistic kids because it's like, old nut is being used. Yeah. Like, that, that seems to be the.

most like scientific and it makes sense it's like yeah because it's like old guys are having kids with younger that's not the the limiting factor is not the age of the woman here right it's like we live in a society where it's like alpuccino just fucking nutted in some 29 year old like it's not you'll be able to find women of age whatever yeah it's so clearly like all like and that so i don't know should i should i freeze a nice batch should i should i have some omega three should I ate a lot of salmon for a week. Dude, you should absolutely freeze it. Go for it.

How do you get the healthiest jiz? Have you been, did you look at, are you looking into this eldest? Are you, because you're, yeah, you're like asking how this like he's your doctor. I think, because he, because he at least is like married. I think, you know, like he's probably going to think about it. Yeah, we're going to have kids. We're, you know, yeah. There'll be a little baby LD here something.

Oh, God. Think of how fucking stupid that baby will be. He's going to be really smart. how bumbling a child that'll be when you just have natural baby bumbling plus your DNA

just some fucking four two three year olds humongous have you gotten your are you worried about your nuts because you had that big gigate remember elders

elders had like some kind of ball infection Shit and his balls swelled up. Wait, what? I got epididimitis where one of my nuts got really big. How much bigger? I mean, it kind of like was like the size of a lemon at least. A lemon.

I've talked about it. Did you see it? No, I didn't see his balls. I really, one of the great regrets of my life is not taking a picture. You didn't take a picture? It kind of like. We should have gotten professional.

We should have gotten Salak used to photograph it. You should have gone to Jason. Yeah, that's my kid actually. But, yeah, I kind of like just enveloped my dick, like push my dick skin forward and like I had to like pee sitting down for a couple weeks. It was pretty fucked. Oh, no. Yeah.

That's crazy. Do you think it affected the health? I'm sure my shit is so sluggish. I'm sure it didn't help. I'm sure. I'm sure my j is so sluggish. I'm sure my sperm is like... For sure my sperm is like 4% microplastics, 3% Ben and Jerry.

I don't think that's the worst thing. I think we're all going to be underwater and the kids will float. True, true, true. That is... It is funny that everyone was worried about, like, cell phones, and it's, like, clearly are, like, analog to lead poisoning from the Roman... Everyone talks about, they all had lead poisoning. It's like, we have so much plastic.

That's so clearly what's going to take. I fall asleep with my phone on my chest all the time. You know what I mean? I'm like, it's crazy what I do to myself. I know. I wonder what, yeah, we should do a little research and see how you get healthy jit. We should, we should, this is a, this is classic podcast stunt stuff. We should get our jizz tested and read the results on air.

That really is. That's like classic, who's got better jizz, like shock jock stuff. That's almost like, like, 2016 era podcast shit. We should do it for the Patreon Yeah Let's do it You show your asshole At the end for no reason

Yeah yeah I know We missed the We missed the boat on having Porns That was a big like Morning Radio Into early podcasting

Was having just porn stars on And then it got When it was radio It was like Okay there's a line It got strange Where they were just like Oh well it's podcasting

I guess she'll just suck our dicks And it's like All right man We don't need the fucking We don't need the fucking We don't need to need to fucking watch this. I did Coomia and there was like a fucking

porn star rubbing my dick and then she started saying some wildly racist shit. I was in a onesie. I don't remember what it was. Me and Mullen went on Coomia so early and then there was just like a weird porn star and then it was like whatever.

And then she just started saying some out of pocket racist shit. We were like all right man we got to get the fuck out of here. Like while rubbing your dicks? I think like this will get them off. I think like Like, first of all, it was not planned. I think her muscle memory kicked in and started just rubbed.

She just started, like, kind of rubbing my dick. And then I think she was like, oh, I don't have to do. I'm not, I'm just on a podcast. Yeah. That's so funny. This is somebody who's a true professional. Right. And the vibe was ruined because I think, I don't know what I have,

but Mullen started like debating her. And she was saying some hysterically racist shit. I don't even remember what it was. But it was like, all right, man. And then, but at the time, I was like, Wow, I made it. You know, it's like, I just moved. I'm like, I'm with a guy from Opie and Anthony with a racist porn star.

Shit's going good. It was like week three of Comtown. Like, we had no idea what was going on. But that was like one of the pinnacles of my career. You're like, all right, well, there's no stopping us now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was when, like, Kumi's racism was just, I mean, he was still racist, but he wasn't like talking about, you know, put black people in zoos or whatever the

fuck that like the shit that got him like really when he was really going next level with it but yeah at the time it was like I was like nice yeah the world is a dark and dangerous place full of scammers trying to get your money you are you are not safe you are in danger you are your money is in danger you need to use apps to transfer money that protect against scammers lucky for you cash app's got your back we're talking built-in card security that keeps your money safe and the protections you expect with the cash app card advanced built-in security that keeps your money safe your personal info stays personal and you and you get help right when you need it something goes awry they got they got a crew ready to assist you and make sure of huh the scammers

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provided by cash app's bank partners prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member fdic discounts provided by cash app a block ink brand visit cash app dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Soder had me on to guest host one time when he wasn't there. That was really fun. Damn. But I was bad at it. I mean, I had not done any. I wasn't the professional, you see. It's a shame that everything fell apart after that. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a shame that you that was the best it ever got. Yeah. That was the pinnacle. I never got better. But now at least, now at least I'm a pro. So anyway, how healthy do you think your jizz is? 10 years later I've become way better at it

Just ignoring our guest To talk about our jizz for 10 minutes No, but seriously, how is your giz? We want to know No, it's all right, man I can tell you that I think Not drinking and not smoking is like one of the first things Yeah, they go don't drink and don't smoke

I actually have, although I will say This last European trip, boy have I wanted to smoke cigarettes more than I have since I was like 20 oh yeah like I you know you're on vacation you treat yourself to a couple sigs and like I have since I've been back like I didn't but I really almost bought a pack of cigarettes which I haven't done in like well I don't know why this is I know this isn't true but it doesn't feel like European cigarettes can kill you yeah like they know they have the scary shit on it yeah this is such a blog Like, look how long these people are living.

It is really true. I wonder what the science behind their cancer rates are. It's probably like smoking's bad for you, but it's like compared to everything else we do here. Yeah. It's like, come on. It's got to be the food. For sure. I remember going there for like a month while I was pregnant and not gaining any weight.

And all I did was eat. Like I was in Italy eating cheese for a month. And I didn't gain any weight. It was the only time I'm pregnancy I hadn't put on weight. Wow. And I was like, what the fuck? That's fucking crazy. I mean, literally the same thing happened where the first, the week I got back,

I kind of maintained. And I was like not going fully crazy. I was like, all right, let's not overdo it. And I was walking a lot, whatever. I got back here, dude, and I just gained like five pounds. Yeah. I was just like, I still had vacation mindset. Yeah.

But it was with American snack foods and shit. And it was like, I still had the like, you know, a little pastry with breakfast. Right. I mean, pastry with breakfast is one of the best. vacation move there is. Absolutely, yeah. Just a fucking coffee that's mostly milk. And without a cigarette, it doesn't feel complete.

Oh, I wanted a cigarette so fucking, and then also part of me's like, probably what helped me not eat sometimes was smoke a couple sigs. And then, you know, and then, and so, I don't know, but I got very, I don't know why. Again, I got back from Europe and I got, like, addicted to mac and cheese for like five days. I had mac and cheese like five days in a row. I bet all the fucking whatever, the chemicals and shit that's in our food, I bet you'd like detox and you got like one bite of it. Yeah, probably.

We got to re-up here. You know what's funny? That's 100% what happened because I got back really late. Yeah. And there was nothing in my apartment to eat except like an emergency box of mac and cheese. Yeah. And after I had one of those bites, bro, I had mac and cheese legit. All I had in my thing was like a freezer full of like, you know, real good chicken tenders.

Right. And, and, you know, I'm like, oh, the calories aren't so bad, whatever. Yeah. I have, literally, that was my first meal, was air fried chicken tenders and mac and cheese. And I couldn't kick. That meal fucked me up so much more than, like, lamb chops and grease. Because it's the kind of, it's like a classic example of, like, the American food that's designed to, like, not, to, like, turn off your hunger signals or whatever, you know. And without any fiber, without any,

no vegetables, no nothing. Like at least there, I was throwing a little salad in the mix. I was getting something going. But, yeah, it's hard. I'm having a very hard time kicking mac and cheese right now. I'm having a really hard time, dude. Ice cream and mac and cheese are just... Just try smoking crack.

If you told me I could smoke a little crack and like... And I would... You would, like, microdose? I honestly, I would smoke crack. I'm not like... I'm not even like... In fact, I'm sort of curious what crack is like because I'm not going to snort cocaine ever again. I feel like that's bad for your heart.

Yeah. But I think one puff of crack wouldn't be that bad. Right. I'm not going to do it probably. I feel like you could like do it probably. I mean, listen, if you came up and you offered it to me, I'm going to say no, no. But that's the thing, it's like I don't really, I'm not really running in. I'm not running in crack circles.

Right. You know, I'm running in cocaine circles. Yeah. But I'm not running in crack circles. Yeah. You sort of have to come upon it. Yeah. Now, could there, I could see, especially off the heels of the Hunter Biden interview, which, you know, was a month, months ago at this point.

But I will say, he did come off pretty cool. Like, he, I always was like, Hunter's cool because I thought he was just a guy who, you know, did drugs and fucked, like, sex workers. Yeah. Which to me is, like, pretty cool. If you're going to be a Nepo baby. Yeah. Do that with it. Do it that way.

Do it that way. You're not taking jobs from anyone. Exactly. You're using your. your family's wealth to have a good time. Yes. You're putting money back in certain people's pockets. That's great. But then I was like, oh, this guy's like

kind of a, he's a smart, cool guy. Like, I would chill with Hunter Biden. Yeah. With, I didn't, he was like much cooler than I thought he would, you know, whatever. Because, you know, you. Well, you can't be a crackhead and be successful at it for years, you know, without, I think, a good amount of money and

a shitload of charisma. Sure, yeah, yeah. Because you can't, you got to be able to lie to people. For sure, for sure. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, it does train you, being an addict does train you to have like, if you stop lying and you just put that into just being a likable nice person, that's a lot of, that's a lot of like energy you're not using for nefarious purposes. Yeah. You can just be like a good guy. Right. But I could see a sort of artisanal rebrand of crack.

Yeah. I really could see that. Yeah. Where it's like, you know, just like a cocaine, sort of like a way to do cocaine in a more, just like a. cocaine rebrand in a way? Yeah, just change the pipe. Because it used to be, I mean, yeah, the pipe's tough. The pipe's tough. The metal little pipe is tough.

Yeah, you got to make it acrylic. Although I guess, does it have to be metal to hit those? I don't fucking know. Aren't they glass? Yeah, they're glass, but yeah, because you can burn, that's like, that's part of the thing is that you have to take your lips off it so you don't burn your lips. Right, right, right, that's tough.

That's like the only time they have to like stop. Yeah. Oh, shit, I'm going to burn my house. Yeah, if you figured that out, if you figured that out. We've got to have some kind of space age polymer material that can smoke. And it looks cool. Yeah. And you just kind of have it in like a uniform cube.

We need to get apple on this. Like a sugar cube. Yeah. No, I'm serious. Yeah. And if you put, it's baking soda. If you put like a little bit of like, I don't know, cinnamon. No, no.

Not synonymous. But like aromatic. Like if you did like essential oils in your crack or something like that. Right. So it doesn't smell like burnt tires. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I were basically talking like crack or cocaine vapes, which you know, you see about People doing shit like that, like, Yeah, you can do it with this. Yeah. Totally. Just get plastic. Melt it into the whatever fucking vitamin E or whatever.

Yeah. We're sucking on in those. I don't know. I could see it. Yeah. Originally free basing cocaine before they really formulated crack and like, you know, made it cheaper. That was a rich person thing to do.

It probably feels awesome. Again. But I thought, no, free basing. Oh, yeah. Free basing is smoking cocaine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway. I remember one time stuff, we like free based.

perks in the bowl of weed. I remember that. Like we could just crush some perks on on some weed in a bowl. And we watched a Tanya Harding documentary. Wait, this had to have been, how long ago was this? This was 2014, maybe.

Yeah, all right. This is some shit I would have done in high school. Yeah, yeah. No, we, I had just moved, or maybe I was even visiting you. You were visiting. I was visiting. So I hadn't even, I wasn't even living in New York yet.

Elders was in this sad basement in bedstide. Yeah. Where it was like he was living with his friend. and but it was his friend's parents and like they were only charging eldest rent and it was like his friend got to pretend he didn't live at home but they were like well I'll just have to pay

they're like we don't need the money but it's kind of a principal thing your poor friend who's trying to figure it out right now we're going to gouge him so you a rich kid can just kind of live and pretend you have autonomy but we're not going to give you the basement we're going to teach you how to cohabitate with the underclass

That was sort of Elders was sort of like a lesson They were teaching their son That's crazy At one point I had to put my mattress in the living room For five weeks Because my closet was water damage So they had to do

What the fuck? Oh man And I was like Oh this is great Maybe I'll save on rent And they were like Oh yeah we'll charge you half rent Incredible

To sleep in the fucking living room But it was, he would, yeah. But shout out him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably a listener. Shout out to him. Hey, Elders is doing fine now. But if he wasn't, you know.

It would be your fault. It would. But yeah, I think about that free basing perks and it's like, you know, crack sounds really bad, but I think about that. I'm like, that seems maybe even worse than crack. I think it's worse. I don't think so. It did feel cool.

I don't think so. It was fucking awesome. There's no way. Smoking pain pills on weed was awesome. No way that. No way was it worse than crack. I don't know. Well, I guess that's true.

You know what I mean? I guess, you know what? I'm going to call it a push. I think it's about the same. I guess it was probably more pure than crack. We knew what was actually in it more than actual crack. Sure, sure, sure, sure. What is it called?

Oh, it's a speedball, right? When you're like smoking crack and heroin at the same time. Yes. Right. The classic thing that kills every fat, entertainer. Right, yeah, yeah. The thing that scared me. Even from the jump, I was like, I cannot be fucking,

Well, that's not an option for me. Yeah, I am too fat to be doing shit like this. Even though when I've sort of done it by accident, when you're like the very, very low rent version, which is like, you know, adderol and wheat. If you or pills and like, you know, any, I mean, honestly, just more adderol. It was really the only upper.

Yeah. I guess occasionally I would, or even cocaine and weed, whatever, you get why people do it. Yeah, yeah. Feels fucking awesome. Absolutely. Absolutely. So that would, you were, you were on that pills and,

What, that was, that was the... You're so funny if you're like, the one guy that just can't understand the appeal, and you like finally do it, you're like, oh, this does feel good. Oh, you're doing drugs. Well, my goodness. Oh, this is why people died doing it, because they tried to push it to the absolute limits that failed. I could see giving up my life for this. You climb up Mount Everest, there's a fucking guy who fall, who's dead on every fucking peak.

All right? But to get to the top, you got to do it. You got to try. Yes. I'm almost dishonoring them. the fat comedians that died by stopping their work now. I stand on the shoulders of giants. We have to reach.

We have to reach for the top. Yeah, I mean, I guess the, that sounds more, that sounds like, because you were probably going to like a rich school where there were, you had pills, you know what I mean? Like, we had to get, in high school, it was way more just we, whatever we could find. You were ahead, you were a little ahead of the curve, I would imagine. Every one of my friend's parents was on something.

Yeah. You go to your friend's house. This is the first thing I learned. Yeah. As like a rich kid in the suburbs, you go to somebody's house, you look in their medicine cabinet. Yeah. I still fucking do it to this day. To this day.

I go and I go like, what do we got? Now you can Google it. Back in the day you had to like try and remember it and then look it up later. There was no phones. I remember doing that in high school. Yeah. Yeah. You would just sort of be like, hmm, okay, what's that?

Yeah, I love the idea that, like, you would go to your friend's parents' house, and they were people that were like, we should get the poor hooked on these. Yeah. You know what I mean? They were like, you guys had him before the opioid epidemic. Right. It was like the very beginning of it. Like lobbyists were doing it.

They're like, we could destroy West Virginia. No, because it definitely, it like spread in West Virginia, and then it came to the suburbs. Oh, interesting. And then, you know, like all of these kids were like, what does my mom have in here? And then they'd take one. They'd be like, whoa! And then we'd all fucking do it. And then all of a sudden they're like, oh, now it's an epidemic.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Right, right, right, right, right. When a couple of, like, the kids at your prep school died. Yes. Then it's like, well, this is serious, you guys. This is a big problem. We can't, come on.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It must have been chock full of, like, white wine and pill moms. Oh, yeah. Where you grew up around. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of, a lot of pain pills, a lot of fucking anti-anxiety biking it. You know what I mean? So you take that and then you smoke weed or you like crush it up. You put it on top of a pipe. You don't know what the fuck you're doing. You're just like trying shit out. And then the next thing you know, you're like, I can't drive. Did you have like a, was there like a, because a really sketchy moment?

Do you remember like from your youth, the one where you're like, fuck, I've taken it too far? Was there ever a moment like that? Yeah, I was like, I mean, it wasn't like drug wise or anything. But I was like on mushrooms. and I was, I had taken my dad and my sister to a fish show in like New Jersey or something. Okay, interesting. And we drove back. I love the idea of your father.

My father. Who's maybe like, you know, I'm guessing the squarest. He's like a partner at a law firm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, when, like, when I was a kid, he was like a granola motherfucker, but then he like, he, like, moved to, like, corporate law. He did the George W. Bush kind of like pro-black sheep of a. Republican family too. I'm born again.

I've put it all behind me. Yes. Kind of thing. Classic move. It was just like too many kids. Like he didn't have an option. He had to be a Republican. Oh, interesting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to make money. He could have not where you could have, he could have maybe gone to a, you know, a shittier suburb than where you were. For sure. Yeah. But he was like, I'm not doing it.

Yeah. No, I do love that even when. You brought that up to him. I'd be like, why? I don't want to be, I grew up rich. I'm not. I'm just going to like completely go against the morals

I pretended to have in my 20s and just fucking stay rich I was cosplay I was trying to make my dad mad My mom was dead I had to hitchike My dad waded me out He was right

Yes I'm coming groveling back Yeah I gotta do I gotta do I do I do love that When you meet Like when you do meet somebody who's just like

the percentage of someone who grew up around power that actually when you're like they're cool in their 20s no one ever sticks to it no no one they all go back they all it's always like they always yeah it's they're they will never it's so hard to get somebody who grew up with like that kind of access to power and privilege whatever to actually be a class trader really hard to do i do think actually that it's going to happen more we're going to see it happen more and more because of just like wealth inequality. Yeah. Because people like even in our generation where it's like if you grew up with money,

like I grew up with money, but that's going to end with me. Right, right, right. Like it's not getting passed down to my daughter. Well, you're at least a couple generations removed. You know what I mean? I'm talking about like the like kids of the like. Oh yeah. But you're right though.

Even at the absolute top, the middle is contracting so much. So much. That even the people that are pretty like really, rich adjacent, they're not going to have. No, it's like, say bye it. It's crumbling in a way.

Well, you can because they're coming for you. Totally. The millionaires even are like, you know, it's like you've got the billionaire class and then you've got fucking the middle class but they're just squeezing this shit out of them. 100%. And the millionaires, they're like,

they're not going to come for us. Oh, yeah. It's like, oh, honey. Better start podcasting. That's the only industry that's safe. They're coming for you. Pick up a Zencaster, baby. You're fucking dead.

You're next. I know. It's so fucking hilarious that just podcasting is the only growth industry in America. How the fuck did this happen? I love just coming from the fucking just the mud and then going this way and then just fucking four generation lawyers meeting them here. I'm right here right now. I'm seeing motherfuckers coming down and it's so fucking funny. Yeah, it's like, and it's, I mean, I don't think it's gonna, I think we're fucked right now, just generally speaking, because, sorry to be serious.

No, no, please. But like, you see all these people going like, oh, the left and the right, they're both fucking crazy. It's like, this is all such a fucking distraction from the fact that we're all going to be fucking homeless. A hundred percent. Like, we are all going to be fucking homeless. It's so clear. I mean, this is the. Republican playbook of like socially starting from segregation literally I mean that's what turned

the Republican Party is when they were like low let's go all in on like segregation and take some of these Southern Democrats and that's how the everything realigned to then it became okay segregation to just generally like racism yeah to then they they flipped that to um I mean I guess Reagan sort of like that was just like more of an economic thing where they were just like anti-labor but carl rove i mean george bush's thing was always like gay people are coming like we we there was like we got to make the gays are coming the gays are trying to get married we have to put we have to put gay marriage initiatives on the ballot so that these people that don't like because to them george bush was like too moderate hilariously they were like they weren't

happy to vote for him but they're like if we put gay marriage on the thing they'll come to vote against that and then since they're there they'll vote for the republican And we're seeing it now with all this fucking trans shit. I mean, we said it on another episode recently, but like the Republican Party has become like hack comedians where it's like, if you don't have a punchline, you go for trans or autism. Right.

Like, that's the two big ones. And the trans shit is like, it's crazy how obsessed they are with it, but it's there, it has become like this, they're just vilifying these people in a way that doesn't make any fucking sense. I don't think anyone is that fucking concerned with it. I don't think anyone is like that I don't think and I was talking about it in Texas like last week and one person there was like one couple that came up to me afterwards and I was like yeah I don't think anybody's like thinking about everyone's genitals that much and they both of them were like Republicans they were like we are yeah well we're fucking weird we're thinking about it yeah I was like oh okay ah the autumn chill in the air eldest you feel that the leaves are turning it's back to school you know we're thinking about going to to grad school. It's a time of new beginnings.

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Ultimately the culture war stuff Is the oldest simplest Fucking thing you've ever seen in your life life and even now they're so desperate that they're like martyering a guy who whatever the guy shouldn't have been killed but it's like you weren't fucking watching charlie kirk like that you weren't fucking coming home from a hard day's work yeah of microwaving some fuck you weren't eating leftovers and firing on fucking turning point USA you weren't watching that shit you just weren't you didn't care that much i'm like you just found out who he is and now

it's getting a fucking wrestlemania funeral i mean the pirate techniques at the funeral was crazy he's nuts his wife coming out like Batista coming out like Triple H it's like what the fuck I know just groping Trump and by the way Eldis you know it's come to my attention that one of my employees

has been posting has been you're getting ready for a disciplinary hearing here at Stopby Baby Enterprises why don't you put people up the disgusting tweet that you posted because I've seen

a lot of people are calling for you to be for you to face Jimmy Kimmel style Jimmy Kimmel style justice when I put this up I knew I'd run into some shit

with my employer but I was scared of the ramifications Yeah let's show it up Let's live on Let's show it to our guest Elders posted Posted Trump

And he said I got your bitch with me. And you know what, Eldis? That's good. I will not stand for my employee being so crass and disgusting. He's smegger fucks fucking up my career. You're suspended, Elvis.

Fuck. The first, Second Amendment. No, First Amendment doesn't know what you're in. You fucking idiot. Hey, this is a 17. But anyway, yes, the culture war stuff is so pathetic and so transparent.

Right. And it's gotten crazier because of how, like, blatantly they have just been robbing people right now. Can I be honest with you? It's kind of fucking annoying me on a comedic, like, on a comedy level. Absolutely. In a way that, like, is making me feel like, like, it feels like my fucking husband got fat or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How dare you?

You know what I'm saying? You're also suspended? I'm just like. I just feel like comedy itself is like, I'm like, how do we let ourselves go like this? This is fucking gross. No, believe me, you think I want to talk publicly about politics? Yeah.

I hate it. I hate having to say, like, obviously I have my own politics and I feel very strongly. But I'm glad that you do because you're sane about it. But that's what I mean is like it's gotten so annoying that like you sort of have to say something because especially if we're talking about free speech, right? The one thing comedian should kind of weigh in on is freedom of speech.

And for anyone that was supporting Trump on a free speech thing, right? Let's throw everything else out, right? Let's fine. Like, let's agree to disagree on the tear on ruining the economy. Right. Even on, I mean, I mean, I won't say, like, ice falls under freedom of speech because we're talking about masked, masked, masked agents. Like, who we're talking about a secret police. Just rounding people up.

It's fucking insane. Truly, yeah, no due process. Ripping their children out of their fucking hands. Due process is such an important part of, like, having the freedom of speech. You should be able to defend yourself. And like, look, the Jimmy Kimmel stuff was obviously bullshit. But scarier than that is the fact that they have stopped. You're not allowed to protest.

Wait, what do you mean the Jimmy Kimmel stuff was bullshit, though? I mean, the FCC, like, like, threatening a private company and leaning on them to be like, this will fuck up your business. We, the government, can fuck up your pockets if you don't do what we like that's crazy right but crazy than that is the fact that like what's happening with like campus uh like when we're talking about the ability to uh protest anything but specifically Gaza and Israel and it's like the fact that they are completely silencing students they're calling them anti-Semites they're they're getting these kids

like arrested uh Mahmood Khalil deporting the fucking guy because he is expressing his freedom of speech in a country where that's the whole fucking point. That's the scare, that's way more important than fucking Jimmy Kimmel, no disrespect. And that also comes down to the fact that like

if you really look at it even down to the FCC shit. Yeah. If you're a billionaire, right, and there's two ways that this could go, it's like further right or fucking tax the rich. Who the fuck are you going to fund? I know. You know what I mean?

This idea that, like, they do a great job of messaging because a lot of people in the last, like, I remember going on Theo's podcast and saying that the far right is always backed by big business and moneyed interest. And they have, they, people think like that's not true. The Democrats are the party of big business. And it's like, to a certain extent, this is the Democrats' fault because they have become a centrist corporate party that does not care about the working class. Right. And so they're not that indistinguishable from Republicans. They're not. Even though historically, obviously the far, I mean, it's like read a fucking history book.

The far right is always connected to money, to industry. But if you look at how bad it's gotten since the beginning of Citizens United. I mean, that's the craziest thing that's ever fucking happened. It's like, it's just spiraled completely out of fucking control. Yeah. Yeah. And any, and if like corporations and businesses have the, they have freedom of speech, but a college kid who's saying like I don't think all my fucking tax dollars should go towards a genocide they don't

have freedom of speech we're so so fucked we're so beyond fuck and it's like listen it slurs are not worth it this is the saddest part they have proven the dork the dorks the tattletale dorks right yeah I hate to admit it but it's like everyone that was mad at Comtown I'd rather live in their world than our world like I would rather live librarian ass bitches saying telling me I can't say a joke, even if it's a joke, I would so much rather have that. Because by the way, we were fine. We were like, ultimately it was a little annoying. Maybe it was a little hard to get on TV, but that led us to the internet, which is the

place where you actually build a fucking career. But it's like, I'd rather take an annoying fucking, you know, she, they telling me I can't say, you can't say, that's so, we need to sacrifice. We need to die on the cross like Christ. to bring woke back. Just put the word up there. Put it up there. Let it get crucified.

We need to bring woke back after three days. And we need to stop having masked agents. Like, it's not that good of a... It's like... It's a fucking... You can't live like this. You and each don't get that the only reason something's fun to say is because it's not allowed. Yeah.

Like, that's the whole point, dude. That's why it's fun. You fucking dumbasses. You can't just... Anyway, whatever. They basically ruined things for the... themselves and everyone else, and it's like, I mean, I just watch it and I go, it's fucking embarrassing.

Like, when I watch, like, comics doing it, I'm like, are you that fucking scared to be funny in a different way? Just, like, have to reach a little further to get something funny, you know what I mean? Like, are you leaning that fucking hard on the work? Yeah, get creative. And listen, that's somebody, I, listen, whenever I'm bombing, I tell a fucking job. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure, absolutely.

I'm just like, let me get these people back. Of course, of course. Listen, what happens in those rooms when you're bombing? What happens on the Saturday late show in a 400 seat improv for some reason that's half sold? Yeah. That's between you and God. Then that's the beauty of live performance, by the way. Yeah.

That's also why that's why, like, you can't ultimately touch stand-up because it's like, it actually happens in the fucking room. Right. Don't worry about the internet. Don't worry about getting famous. Try and be a funny fucking person. but anyway we're it's it is really fucking pathetic but you know unfortunately they have made they have made me a crusader for woke bring woke back bring it back tattle on me let me lose you know what I mean like fucking if I if I get to if my career goes well enough that I get

to be in a fucking cartoon let an annoying mom who doesn't hasn't had sex in 20 years say have you seen what he said 30 you know 15 years ago he can't be be a fat squirrel in a Pixar movie. Fine, fine. If that's what it takes, if that's what it takes to like demolish alligator alcatraz, great. Yeah. I don't need to be,

I don't need to be a wood chuck in a DreamWorks movie. Because I was on Comtown when I was 20, when I was 26. I don't know. I think my cheeks, I think I would do really well at that. Actually, yeah, you'd be a cute, a little, a little cutie guy. Yeah, thank you. You see it. Yeah.

We should, let's, let's plug here at the midway point. We're going to do some calls, obviously. What do you have to plug here, Rosie? Oh, I'm on tour. On tour. I am on tour right now. All the tickets are Rosebudbaker.com. And also check out my Netflix special, The Motherload.

Yes. Great special. Watch it on Netflix. And go see Rosebud on tour. She's got a beautiful baby girl who's indistinguished, who right now is non-binary until her curls come in. Yeah, well, all babies are. Yeah, that is true.

If you want to understand what being non-binary, Binary is look at a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the people that don't grow out of that, that's who they are. Right. That's a good, that's a good way to look at it. You're like, oh, you should just be wearing overalls. Like a little minions.

Yeah. All right, Aldous, what do we got here, buddy? Hi, Savvy. Hi, Aldous. I assume death. So my situation is interesting. It's more of a, how do I go about changing someone's behavior? year sort of thing. Interesting. Can you give some more volume?

So I'm dating this guy for about a year and, you know, great relationship, awesome sex, uh, especially, you know, eats pussy real good. But, uh, so the question that I have, so my partner is neuro and emergent, um, not so much in the socially awkward way, but more in the way that they have a lot of, um, physical skin. So, you know, sort of like lifting the lips or, or, biting on pens or things like that. But one of the things he does is that he often will put his hands, like, down his pants, like, underneath the underwear and, like, you know, kind of feel around and then big the hand back up and then give that a big old whiff.

Oh, no. Like, just a deep whiff. Like, it's not even really subtle. What the fuck? And this happens a lot, mostly when we're hanging out. either, you know, on the couch or in bed or whatever, just hanging, like, you know, taking an easy. But it happened a few times when we've been in public. And she's dating a Mary Catherine Daly.

Yeah, for real. What the fuck? Arm pit a sniff or something like that. But, you know, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. And also, it's a little gross, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah. So, what do you mean a little gross?

You know, I'm used to be adjusting themselves in public or whatever, but in this instance, it's just so blatant and I've called him out on it like with the house before and been like oh hey do you need a wash cloth or like you know wash cloth what the fuck you're gonna give him a sponge bath on the couch yeah the fuck you're talking anyway finish it sorry but you know he's like oh I'm sorry like you know but I think he's just so unconscious I don't make it's anything that he's doing like purposefully um but do you have any advice for kind of shifting someone's behavior when they're kind of doing something that, you know, doesn't look too good in public. Like, I don't know with, like, dog training or, like, you know, clicker training or whatever, but

what ideas do you have for someone like me who have a great partner, but they do some sort of annoying or odd behavior that could be, you know, perceived as being sort of an inappropriate. This is fucking insane. Yeah. Yeah. This is, can I just say, this is what, this is what women do when someone eats pussy so good. True, true. I guess that's true.

I mean, if I'm thinking about. She's just going, like, I can change this. It's fine. He sniffs is cock. He'll still eat my pussy. You know what I mean? Sniffs is nuts. And by the way, that is the power of like getting great head for sure.

Yeah. Some of the most, the most I've put up with is somebody who's awesome at fucking. Yeah. And that is an important lesson ultimately. Right. But also, what the. fuck is this lady talking about? She's also saying he's neurodivergent.

It's like, there's no way this is his fucking, like, specific tick. Yeah. Like, maybe if he had some kind of physical, like, I guess I have, if he has some kind of Tourette's thing where it's like, you have to do something fucked up. Yeah. But this is not, what are you talking about? Your boyfriend smells his dick in public. If he had Tourette's, you would know, right?

Like, she wouldn't say neurodivergent. Also, she's, her examples of stims are like chewing on a fucking pen cap or fit. Like, you're talking about a fidgety guy. Right. Which, like, look. She's like, but then there's this one tick. Yeah, yeah. You have completely over intellectualized this.

Your boyfriend's smell. Your boyfriend goes al-Bundi mode plus smell. Yeah. Smelling your nuts is crazy. What you need to do is taking a whiff of your nuts in front of another person. You got to embarrass it. Shamelessly. You've got to embarrass him.

Yeah. You've got to just be like, next time he does it at dinner, no matter who's with you, you got to be like, did you just put your hand down your pants and smell your own nuts at the table? You need to say it out loud. Even you saying that in like a quoting her to a different guy, just hearing you say that to me, I was embarrassed. I didn't do it. You know what I mean? Just hearing that.

You got to hold up a mirror. You got to hold up a mirror. You got to hold up a mirror and be like. like that's fucking disgusting yeah and i think you're so right rosebud where it's like yeah he's just good at fucking and he got an insane pass yeah like probably the first time he did this he had just made her bust four times yeah and she's like who care you know she's like i can't even oh who gives a fuck and like it probably happened a few times where that and now you feel weird bringing it up but this is just one of the most classic version calls we get where it's like you

just have to have a conversation here this is fucking insane and watch what happens he'll eat your pussy better that night yeah maybe really will it's true you embarrass him he's gonna have to he's gonna he could be double down he could go he could get off on that you never know yeah but yeah this is just crazy you have completely convinced yourself it's deeper than it is bringing in his neurod divergence like yeah by the way do you mean he's fucking a dd because it's like this is not an explanation unless there's some kind of like you don't need to dog train you need to be like like this is literally what like how you teach a baby stuff yeah you need to put his face no yeah he might like it he's smiling his own balls he's like you gotta be like this is

oh yeah i mean you just have to be like this is gross stop doing this right like what would you do if you like i don't even like like what's another girl i don't even know like if you're like, fucking trimmed his toenails. If he, like, took his feet out. If he beat his own toenails. Yeah, and just, like, it would have, like, shoing on his own toes, and was like, you know what I mean?

Like, you'd be like, what the fuck? He's doing something. Like, it's a level under that, but it's fucking weird to smell. It's really weird. And it's not even like, you caught him once where he thought he was alone. Like, he just does this in front of you? That's fucking crazy. So, yeah.

Stand up. Have a little, show a little back. and be like, please stop smelling your balls at the dinner table. You fucking goons. Yeah, it's crazy. Insane. You know, many people are calling fall, the season of sex. Many are saying, now is the time.

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Huh? Holy shit, it's time to, it's time to keep it twisted, folks. That's right. It's the motherfucking twisted-ass fucked up question of the week. Holy shit. I love keeping it twisted, Rose, but I know you're sober, but I'm sure at a different time of your life. I was so scared I was going to have to break the news to you. With the music on, I was like, oh, no.

I know the time in your life, you also kept it very, very twisted. Yes, I did. Eldis, what's the motherfucking-ass fucked-up twisted question of the week? Hey, Stavi, Elvis, esteemed guests. I was just calling because, well, about a year ago, I had a pretty big problem. And I wanted to get you guys' opinion if I did you guys' opinion. did the right thing um me and my father-in-law we're really close with one another he never had a son i never really had a dad that's cute we were at he were bros also i think

drink play pool uh fish together that's nice nice but threw out a party about a year ago and he told me that he was having an emotional affair uh-oh nothing physical Dad is keeping it twisted. Uh-oh. And, uh... Yikes. This is... This is when you're too close to your father-in-law.

Yeah. When your father-in-law thinks he can confide about cheating? You're married to his daughter? Keep it twisted. I will say your father-in-law is keeping it very fucking twisted. All right, keep going, Eldon. Let's see what else is going on here. With one of the girls that was at that party.

And he made me promise not to tell anybody, keep it between us, you know. But I haven't told my wife, I haven't told her mother, of course. But I just kind of want to get your read on that, see if your opinion, see if I did the right thing. Or if not, if I could fix that, maybe come clean about. something or if I should just hold on to it. But, uh, yeah, I love the podcast, man. This is twisted as hell.

You appreciate everything you do. Make my workday, go by quicker. So, thank you. Interesting. I mean, this is fucking insane. Yeah, this is fucking great. This is a twisted question. This is like a whole reality TV season right here.

Yeah. I mean, you really could get a lot of, there's a lot of meat on this bone. Oh, absolutely. I want more details. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I guess my limiting factor here is I cannot fathom being this close to a father-in-law.

Right. Like, and again, I haven't been in many relationships. I've barely met dads. And even if I did, it's like, you know, there have been like regularly, you know, I also don't really respect father figures. This would never happen to me, right? Like, I would never, this would just, I would, he would know that I love my wife more than him. Yeah. Like I obviously would like like I just having said that you know he's in I mean this had to have happened after a moment where this guy had to have been like I love you man you know like yeah like a father to me and he's like now's when I tell him or else I've been thinking about getting pussy from the lady at the country club that's the other thing is it's got to be more than an emotional affair no man is looking at another man and being like I'm

have something to confess. That could have been him sort of like, that could have been the like canary in the coal mine of like, if he holds this down. No, no, no, no. It could be like, if he doesn't snitch on this, I can trust him with the reality that I've been fucking her for four months.

Right. You know, like, he leaked something that he could come back from. Yes. To see if he would snitch. And now that he doesn't, he's kind of earned his, now he'll confine him for whatever. Yeah.

alternatively I think like he says this happened he confessed this a year ago I think he could have told him and then this guy hasn't heard about it ever since ever again maybe the dad just started like fucking this woman and he was like you know he's like oh I'm into deep why did I even tell him that shit in the first place I need to like keep this to myself and I mean listen yes I'm the I guess another reading of that is like he just slipped up and said it on the on the point of oppressive on the precipice of it um it also could just be yeah i mean i guess those are the two options but in my opinion he's ruined your relationship here because he put you in an if he actually was your dog yeah he would eat this but he is kind of like he's kind of like coming to you for support in cheating on your mother-in-law and like in potentially ruining your

wife's family? Yeah. Like, if he was a true bro, he would understand this is putting you in an impossible position. He would, if he was going to cheat, he was going to cheat, and then he would sort of let the fallout happen, let his family deal with it. Yeah. And you would have to take your cues from your wife, his daughter, and when the, when the dust settled and it could be years from now, maybe you guys could pick up that, like, if

anything, he should have seen you as collateral. to cheating even like if you guys are that close and you're like a son to him he definitely should have seen that as like a maybe i don't i don't blow this up because i don't even cheat because it's like this could fuck up not only my you know let's not go crazy i'm just saying if he's really he's been married for a long time okay all right i'm just saying if this is really a disney movie where it's like you meet your your dad the dad you never had yeah like not only does he not tell you But maybe he's like, fuck, I would really, if I did this and I got found out, I could fuck up. That's another member of my family.

I lose whatever. But do you think, I mean. Now, how do you handle it then? I would, I still would not. This is the thing that threw me off is that you suggesting that he's giving him this so that he can tell him more. It's possible. I'm just saying. I hadn't considered that.

That's crazy. Because I was going to be like, just don't say anything. Die with it. You know what I mean? Sure. But if this is going to be something where he then. tells you more and like oh you know that lady that i said i was having an emotional affair with was she's pregnant you're like then you're like oh fuck but we're naming it after you yeah

cool um but i will say yes but i but at the same time he that could have been the way to read him and by not doing anything by just kind of freezing he might have just been like okay he's not going to snitch on me but he wasn't like nice dude tell me about it right like you're kind of in the middle there how do you handle it the problem is he is now forced a secret between you and your wife which is really fucked up yeah and ultimately dude i mean yeah your options here are your options here are he is forced he is basically you guys are both standing on a landmine yeah and if anybody moves it blows up right yeah so your options are stand on the lander mind till you die or call in the tactical bomb squad, which is telling your wife,

and you try and diffuse it together. But by the way, it's a- I don't know if that's the move, though. I'm just saying those are your two options. Your two options are like, take it to the-gris. But if he does anything else, you fucking tell your wife. Like what I'm saying is if there's any movement, you call in the bomb squad. And even though there's a very hard bomb to defuse, it's probably a 10%, you have to call it in.

If anything changes. Yeah. If anything changes, then you tell your wife, but I would say that right as it is now, I wouldn't tell her. This is really tough. I really think that you're like, you're making her go, okay, just in my experience with like my girlfriends, when I find out that somebody's cheating on one of my girlfriends and I tell them, they ditch me. They don't ditch their boyfriend. I think even if you're her husband, I think if you're going like your dad is cheating, I think she's going to pick her dad. I think she's probably going to defend her dad. I don't know that that's true. And I think, like, I think. Well, I guess he would know.

It's like if you know what the relationship is between them. I also think it's not even about snitching. It's about being like, I don't want to lie to you ever. You know what I mean? Which is like, ideally that is what you want out of a marriage from important. Like, look, white lies, whatever. But we're talking about, like, this guy is forcing you of no ill. Like, you didn't do anything to have to hold.

this level of secret. But that's why I think you're unloading your fucking guilt onto her in this way, because right now there's nothing has happened, supposedly. You're protecting her, but basically you're saying, yeah, his guilt, but also like her dad's comfort is more important than keeping honesty between your spouse? I'm saying that the wife's comfort is more important. That in a way, keeping the secret is just easier for the wife. Now, what if it comes out, and then it's like he's known about this for...

No, he hasn't. Right. Because who tells him? I think he has coverage. I'm kind of with you, Rosebud, especially because, like, it's only emotional cheating. For all intents and purposes, like, the caller is still in the dark. He doesn't know what else has happened. He hasn't learned any new information.

Right. Maybe if his father-in-law tries to leak something a little more tangible to him, it's time to go nuclear. I would also say, like, maybe stop hanging out with him so much. Yeah, totally. You know, this is over. He's fucked everything up. But that's a good point.

If he tries to keep it any more twisted, then he has to completely fucking be like, your dad was saying some weird shit. I thought he was drunk. And now he's bringing it up again. Like, do you think your dad would ever cheat? Like, you could even say it that way. We were like, your dad was being kind of fucking,

we don't even know what the fuck he was saying. Like, he was looking at that bitch Martha, with, you know, whatever. Like, I don't know, some going on between them. He was being weird at a party a couple, like a last year, but I just chalked it up to him being kind of strange and being a horny old guy. Yeah.

Do you think, like, you could maybe handle it that way? I guess that's... Absolutely. I guess that's true. You could minimize this and lie to yourself even and keep it just twisted enough. Yeah. And I would say, this man has lost his twisted tea privileges with you. He doesn't get to enjoy an ice cold twisted tea at a family reunion

with you. No, he has to drink lukewarm other malte beverages that aren't brewed with real ice tea. He's kept it too twisted and that'll do it that'll do it for this this week's twisted-ass

motherfucking question of the week. Oh my God. When you started playing that music and you brought out the fucking twisted tea, I was like, I have a disease. Listen, I You know, we got it, we got, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're a flashback.

You're like, am I riding a bull in Northern Virginia? Yeah. Am I on a fucking mechanical bull fucking in Daisy Dukes, 17 years old with a fake ID? Trying to fuck a 45-year-old. Yeah. Trying to fuck this guy's father-in-law. Yeah.

Oh, fuck, that's wild. That is twisted. That is, he kept it. twisted. What else do we have, Elders? I loved that. That was good. That was a philosophical quandry. I got a, I finally got a question to shoot your way. So I've been dating my fiancé. We are engaged.

We've been together around six years. And, you know, everything's been good. And everything's been very cool, very copacetic. But, you know, the other day, she was telling me that she's been having a lot of dreams about her past she still works at her old fucked up job she's still living with her fucked up dad all this sort of stuff is coming back in her dreams and shit and today uh we were talking on the phone and she calls me by her ex's name um uh i mentioned to her i mentioned it to her you know like what the fuck did you just what did you call me and she's you know

tried to brush it off oh my god i'm so sorry i don't know where that can from uh and you know as far as i never met the guy but as far as she tells me she doesn't fucking like this guy and you know we've been dating for a long fucking time i don't think she's talked to him um oh god i don't know am i being insecure here that was kind of fucked up to me that was weird uh i didn't make too much of a deal of it when it happened but you know it i mean it's not fucking normal that's so goddamn sure um yeah love you stop early adam's Sandler character. Yeah.

He's not fucking normal. What the hell's going on? Are you fucking your hips? Um, okay, this is interesting, but if it's want, okay, what I'm confused about is the dreams element. Why are you talking about the dreams about her past? It seems like something that she would have brought up to, to, to, to, say, to be like, oh, I'm having

I'm having all these dreams about my past. Like, because, okay, isolated incident, let's take the dream shit out, let's take whatever. If the question is, I'm talking to my fiance and she has a weird Freudian slip and calls me an ex's name, should I be worried about this? I would say, that's kind of annoying.

And I wouldn't be pumped. But I wouldn't be like, what the fuck, bitch? you cheating on me? Yeah. And now the dream element is like, are you worried that there's some kind of like, she's having some kind of flashback episode?

Like, what even, what is that as an explanation? Like, I like what you're saying where it's like, maybe she said it's like, oh, I don't know, I've been having these weird dreams. I'm fixating on this period of my life. Right. Maybe, but like, as an isolated incident, you can't get worked up about it.

It is insecure. It is kind of weird. Yeah. Now, if it becomes a weird, pattern like if this happens again or she's she's like that's something but you can't we're talking about six years versus one weird slip up who is like this guy's name's brian maybe she fucking saw the name brian somewhere else i don't know the timing of it is so weird because it's been six years like if if i true that's a good point i've been with andy for five years

I can't imagine calling him my ex's name. That's a good point. Five years later. That is a good point. Like for this to have happened for the first time, five years later to me is a little bit. And then I don't know if this is the case, but if she, like, used this dream thing, if this is something that she sort of told him, that feels like grasping for an explanation in a way that feels. feels a little shady to me. I don't know.

And I get why he's like, am I being, because if they're engaged, he might not want to like give it some time to, you know, so I think. Yeah, Wednesday is the wedding in two months. Yeah. And she's been thinking about what her life was like before him a lot and dreaming about it.

Like that's not a great sign. Yeah. And that's a good point. That's a, yeah, six years. It's a long time to not call him your ex and then start calling him your ex. because yeah if it's never happened before like is she a forgetful

she like a weird like flighty person who's just like who know like I don't know like I guess that is your point is an interesting one where it's like if that happened either it's a completely weird like she saw the guy she saw the guy's name written somewhere

like she saw like a realtor with his name on a bus stop right as she's talking to you on the phone. She looks at it as like, oh, yeah, whatever, Brian, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the flip side and the sinister side is like, for some reason, she's been thinking about this person. I feel like I'm giving a lot of sinister advice today. I don't know where my head is.

That is interesting because. No, no, that's a good point. My initial reaction, I was with you stuff, but that is true. Like, if you're six years in, that is a weird. Would you ever say, like, I would have to think about who the ex was. Right. You know what I mean?

Like I have to be like, who, what name would I even fucking, you know what I mean? Like how, you know, I guess the last ex, but even that, it's like, I get it if it's been three months, you know what I mean? She just went through a breakup, started dating you right away, and all of a sudden she calls you by her ex's name. Like that's, I get that because it's like, you're still like, you know, kind of in that head space a little bit. You didn't get, you didn't get a second to breathe.

but six years together I'm like Does she work with her ex Because he said that she's at the same fucked up job I'm like But no no that's in her dreams Oh right Those are the she's describing the dreams

Oh right So none of that She ostensibly lives with him And has a better job But she's been dreaming about The dreams aren't kind of throwing me off But what were you going to say all this I mean I do think ultimately

The intent does not really matter here Because if it is one time it is a slip-up and yeah you kind of look like a bitch if you're like tarping on this and

can I see your phone did you talk to him yeah that's so weird just legally in court this isn't grounds to even I mean you have to let it go from your own mind you can't like think about this

yeah even if like it was on the day we're like who knows she was thinking about her ex or something like sure there's no way to prove that it also could have been

you can think about a person from your past in a completely innocent way, too. You know what I mean? Like, you just be like, oh, that was, especially if you're, let's say the dream thing is true. And she's like,

why the fuck was I thinking about that job when I was dating that fucking idiot? Like, she could have been, it could have been like that too, right? And I guess the analogy I would use like, you know, it's like... I will see... Oh, sorry.

No, go ahead. If you're gonna marry this woman, it's like a good way to go into marriage is giving each other the benefit of the doubt. For sure. I think otherwise you're a little, fucked. You have to. I guess this would be like,

you know, it's like if you see a little spot of water on your floor, on the floor, are you like fuck, the roof is caved in? It's like, no, somebody fucking little water could have said, like a little condensation could have fell. Right.

It doesn't mean you need a whole new fucking roof. It doesn't mean there's like a, you know, a fucking tornadoes coming. Yeah. Just a little, that's that's the, that's what we're talking about here. Yeah. You're worried about a flood and you just saw a speck of water on the floor that could have gotten there a thousand much more reasonable ways. Yes.

So, okay, if you see the water there next week, if you see a pool get a little bit, if it gets even a little bigger, you're like, huh, I'm going to keep an eye on that. But if that's all it is. But for now, you just clock it and move on. For now, you just fucking put a little paper, yeah, you get a paper towel and you keep it moving, who gives a fuck. Yeah. But, yeah, don't worry about it too much. Yeah. Even though she's clearly cheating.

No, no, no. She's absolutely getting rail. She's getting fucking rail. It's weird, but you're fine, dude. Yeah. You know, Eldis, I've been I've been lifting heavier recently at the gym,

and my body ain't as spry as it used to be. I'm getting some aches and pains, you know, but I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to be hooked on any kind of medicine that might fuck me up. I need the, I need Mother Gaia's medicine.

I need the CBD gummies from cornbread hemp, which are formulated to work with your body, not against it. I hate when something is formulated to work against my body. That does not happen with cornbread hemp. It's important for me to maintain my physical and mental wellness, folks. That's hard. I'm podcasting. I'm in the podcast factory putting in sometimes 90 minutes, 100 minutes. a hundred minutes of working and I need corn bread hemp CBD gummies to get my wellness

singing like a bird have you tried everything under the sun for peace of mind well you gotta try corn bread hemp CBD gummies I like I take them at night they help me relax they help you know they help relieve discomfort stress sleeplessness sometimes I draw a nice warm bath I'm on my divorced lady shit. I'm on my middle-aged bubble bath, you know, in the 90s. I feel like that was a big trope. Women used to love bubble baths in the 90s. And me, I'm, I got a little, you know, a soak in a nice warm tub.

I got the cornbread hemp. I'm feeling good, brother. Right now, Stavi's World listeners can save 30% off on their first order. Just head to cornbread hemp.com slash stavi and use code Stavea at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com slash stavey and use code Stavey. Little Eldis. Hey, Stavrose, big fan, a big fan of the Raven since all the way back in the Jamal Lewis Day. Nice, dude.

Hell you. I hope everyone's doing well. Looking for just some relationship and just kind of general advice to bowl it down. I kind of consider myself a bit of a loser. Oh, no. between a social aspect and haven't really been in a long-term relationship or hell now that I think of it ever it's a bit of background well-groomed hygienic okay dress well for someone who's you know from the hills of Georgia white guy from the hills of Georgia good job since I graduated college nice car athletic build

I swam in college and played soccer. How big is he? She's trying to be a little bit guy, that's true. You know, relatively tall. I consider myself reasonably attractive, ironic enough. I get hit on my gay guys a good bit. Okay. So it's not super helpful for me, but whenever it happens,

I take it as a bit of a confidence boost. Keep my house clean. I've got two cats who absolutely love. Anyway, so if you want to come over. and I've got two sisters and I'm a bit of a mama's boy so very big on women's rights

and women's rights a bit of a feminist so I mean all that said you know I haven't fucked in two years so you know there's something there

can't really pin it bad but any advice you know y'all could give you know I greatly appreciate it thank you guys just a genteel Southern or listing off why he's a good guy. He's like, I haven't gotten but a stitch of pussy.

I haven't nearing doving any muff for over, you know, eight four-noughts. Oh, my God. Good God, dude. Okay. I mean, look, so he's giving us his bone of feeds as to why he should be able to get pussy. right but okay but he's not saying what he's not doing yeah that's what I'm saying is like okay you're a reasonably you're an eligible bachelor here but like what is your day to day life look like are you making it an effort are you on dating apps are you going out are you like

are you being social are you do or you know are you going are you going to bars whatever like do you have a group of friends you guys go out with and you talk to people and because you're in a great spot, right? Like, usually these sort of in-cell calls that we get, we try and build them up to where you are, right? To be at a reasonable base where you believe in yourself. Clearly, I would say there is a confidence issue. There must be something.

Yeah. Because, like, why, yeah, why didn't you tell, like, he said, he hasn't been a relationship ever. What's that about, number one? Right. Did he say how old he is? No, but if he's a Jamal, I mean, Jamal Lewis, I was in, he's probably our age, I mean, or a little older. I mean, like, Jamal Lewis, shout out 2,000-yard rusher, Super Bowl champion, Jamal Lewis, free him.

He's not, he's not guilty of the allegations. No, I don't think he did anything that bad, but, you know, he did serve some time in prison, but actually look up what he did. I don't remember I'll stop my head, but he's a great running back. Okay, all right. Yeah, he's probably Free him, he didn't do it. Can you look up what he did? Actually, let's look up what he did.

I think it just, like, robbed somebody. I don't think. No, this is not him. That's a different. Oh, wait. Is this him? Cocaine? Oh, yeah, who cares, man?

Yeah. Sold a little cook. We were just talking about it. Yeah, attempting to set up a cocaine deal. Come on. All right. The guy's trying to make a little money. You know how my NFL running backs are

underpaid and they deal with a lot of physical. They have some of the lowest paid for how much, you know, what kind of a toll they take. And this is, this man is a legend. We should take care of him. Anyway, Jamal did nothing wrong. So back to this guy. Maybe this guy won't stop talking about that on day.

I wanted Jamal Lewis, yours actually. Maybe every day that he takes a woman on. It's just that. And she's just going, uh-huh. I mean, just a little cocaine. Yeah. That big a deal. So, yeah, dude, I mean, are you doing any of the other stuff?

You, you know, your resume is good. You're in a good zone. But, like, if you're not putting yourself out there, if you're not. And honestly. And do you eat pussy? And do you eat pussy? That's a good point. You know.

Because he does seem very genteel. Too much. Yeah. Well, that's undignified. Yeah. But he's from the hills. We're kind of giving him a bit of a southern gentleman quality But this man

This man gets down and dirty Crouches You'll get into crouch I think he will Yeah But yeah dude what You haven't given us a lot You're basically

All you said it All you want is from your question All you want us to be like is wow You should get pussy You're right But like you're clearly doing something That's the thing that feels off to me Is that the whole thing is kind of set up

For us to be like Why isn't anybody fucking this guy? That's a good point Maybe that is the problem. Maybe your outlook, your, your general outlook of, like, a sort of victim mentality. I have all this stuff. Why aren't I getting pussy?

Not to, maybe you're not that guy. You know, you seem like a polite gentleman, but it's like, what, because you're starting in such a good spot, what is going wrong, I think, is what we need to figure out here? And my hunches, is it like, or is this a, is this a, uh, is this a, uh, priority for you? Are you putting a lot of your efforts into this? Are you, you know, spending too much time lobbying for abortion access?

Yeah. Maybe dial back the feminism. Maybe dial back how well you're dressed, you know? Like maybe spend a little more time going on dates. I'm going to say don't dial back how well you're dressed. Yeah, you're right. Or the feminist, but go on these dates and like, like, just based off of the way that this is, I mean, it's a voicemail.

So you're, and you're talking about yourself. and that's the way that it's supposed to be. But, like, I would make sure that on the dates that you're on, like, ask these women about themselves. Like, anytime there's a lulling conversation, ask them something about themselves. Yeah, don't bring up what's going on with mama. Yeah. You know, you know, you know.

Or your sisters. Yeah. You know what I'm going to say. I do like that I don't sense, like, bitterness in his voice per se. Right. But I will say, like, the shit you're, the shit that you're, like, listing, it's like, do women even care like, you know, some mama's boy and khakis and quaffed hair. That doesn't seem like, you know, a guy that women want to throw pussy at all the time.

So it's like, it's not a negative, but it's not a pot. You're not necessarily. I think it might be a positive in the South. And for certain, I mean, for certain people just being well put together. Like, it's not, he is starting from a positive place. Yeah. It's just why, why is this happening, you know, are you a little to, you know, we don't hear bitterness. We don't hear general in cell seething. But is that because he's so polite, he's hiding it like do you have that like yeah and by the way it's okay to be to feel a little desperation to get your back against the wall and be like I got to fuck yeah you know what I mean like it's okay to have a little you don't want too much of that but a little bit of that

just like spur you on to actually you know put together a good dating profile swipe set up some dates I would pay for it before you go on the date I would I would pay for sex before you want to knock the cobwebs out a little bit do that yeah yeah and then get out there and be somebody. That's true. Is there, are you a little too polite? Are you a little too reserved? Are you too much?

Are you Kenneth from 30 Rock? You know, if you're sitting across the table with like white knuckles. You know what I mean? Then it's like, she's going to feel that. So maybe you. Oh, interesting.

He's too, I see, I see. Get your fucking rocks off and then go on the date because it's going to feel like, she'll feel it if you're. True. If you're over there just.

That's true. You don't want to be, you don't want to be in the red. You don't want to be, you know, You want to be at a nice, horny, you want to be at a nice cruising horny. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You're redlining right now. Yeah.

Yeah, hopefully we hit on some of this, buddy, but, you know, let us know. And maybe even call, maybe call on a live show, actually. I would like to talk to him and get to the bottom of this. Yeah. Which we will be doing more of. There's not that much travel going on. And actually, I say that, but we're going to be gone half in November. We're going to be gone.

And we got Boston, we got Austin, I'm probably going to go to Baltimore. I'm lying. There's going to be a ton of trap. There always is. Yeah. There's no rest. You're trapped. Yeah.

It sucks. I was like, man, I can't wait to relax this fall. And every day there's another thing I have to do. I know. The calendar just keeps. Tor is right around the corner. Yesterday was the first day in, I think, four years that I haven't done anything. Like I went to the fucking, I know what you mean, yeah.

I went to the fucking botanical gardens. I, like, walked around. Yeah, that's awesome. I was like, this is fucking, I haven't done this. It's so long. I know. A day with no responsibilities is such a beautiful treat. Fucking crazy.

Yeah. What do we got, Eldis? Maybe a couple more here, and then we'll send our guest on her way. Hi, Stavi and esteemed guest and Eldis and all of that great, beautiful stuff. Hello. I have a question. I quite literally just turned out a lot of the. misinformation like last night um but it turns out that my brother has cheated on his

girlfriend who he has been with for three years um his girlfriend is amazing truly one of the most kindest most beautiful amazing well-rounded people I've ever met and he cheated on her um and my whole family's sorry you know get to choose your family yeah my question is how much of a relationship am i allowed to still have with his ex-girlfriend i care about my brother he's my older brother you know he's important to me however i hate what he did and the girl that he cheated on is an amazing person and i'd love to still be her friend so i'm wondering if that's allowed or if it's not anyway thank you stabby um i have big old huge old double D

triple D knockers Hold on, let me lock in here. Bye. Really huge tits, you say. Well, your problem matters. Yeah. I mean, lean in.

Okay, so first of all, this is very fresh. That's a big thing to think about here. But also, my number one piece of advice here is that you don't get to choose this, right? The girlfriend got cheated on by your brother. Yeah. It's up to her how much she likes you. That's what I was thinking the whole time.

Like, you might, and I get the frustration, right? Because this is classic, like, I mean, there's definitely times where I've broken up with someone and I could tell my, like, my mom's like, come on, man. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I like that girl. You know what I mean? And, like, family members are like, or.

I mean, sometimes the opposite happens, whether you break up somebody and they're like pumped, whatever. But it's like you, you're this, your brother is your family, unfortunately. And this girl is just a girl in terms of like what your, what your relationship is here. And yeah, was he a piece of shit, sure. But it's like, is it the kind of thing that it's not, you know, it's human. It sucks. But it's not like the thing that you like, you know, get, you don't talk to your fucking family about. It's like, you fucking asshole, why did you run the relationship with a girl we all loved, right?

Clearly, this is a person you, like, in a vacuum, if you had, and you weren't related to them, you would rather hang out with this woman than your brother, right? And that happens all the time. Yeah. But that's not your choice, and you don't live in a vacuum, you live in, this is. And she might not want to fucking see you or anyone in your family. Totally, totally. Like, totally.

And that's really up, again, it's up to her. Just because your brother fucked something. up with a person you wish was in your life forever yeah i got news for you the odds are not good you're allowed to have the relationship she wants you to have and you can be as close i mean ultimately it's also like fuck your brother you don't have to ask your brother no no no he like he doesn't matter in this if you and is there a scenario where this person's like you know what whatever i dodged a bullet i don't want to be with somebody who cheated on me but i really like this like you do hear those stories too where it's like people who either are related

or even like very close friends. Yeah. Like they'll be like, oh, you know what? I actually don't like, I like this person more than my friend who was dating her. I've seen women become friends in situations like this. I've seen, you know, like this happens, but it's not up to you. This could also happen where it's like she loved your brother. She wanted to fucking marry him.

And you're a reminder of the life he ruined. Yes. Right? You're a constant reminder. Your best bet. She may not be able to even look at you. Exactly. Your best hope is that your brother's a fucking idiot piece of shit.

And that you don't look like him. Yeah, you don't look like him. That's true. If you look totally different, that could help. Yeah. But if she doesn't care about him that much, if she comes out of this, it's like, he was a fucking asshole. And she likes you and you don't look like him. It could happen.

I'm not saying it's impossible, but, I mean, you even hear about weirdly people who have, like, relations with people's parents they broke up with. I know. That's like that to me is fucking insane, but kind of cute and wholesome. I have a couple of exes whose parents still check in on me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's fucking that. That's, that's honestly kind of cute. But yeah, you can't, it's not up to you is basically what it comes down to. Yeah. But you got big knockers. But you do have huge tits and that is important. Yeah.

Either way, you're a winner. The important thing. is that you keep those things and you know what maybe put them dump them out every once in a while yeah so maybe it'll help you to show them on the table to show put them on the glass I would love like one of those boats like the bottom boats where it's the water but I would like to be underneath it and be a fish and ladies just put their tits on it yeah yeah you know I'd like to be doing a backstroke with scuba gear and just seeing ladies push their tits on the glass.

That's your definition of snorkeling. I'm ignoring the Great Barrier Reef. I'm just looking at Australian tits. You got a great fucking business idea. For real, you want to get out of podcasting. This is what you do. We got to diversify. Nothing lasts forever.

Green theme parks back. Yeah. That's my version of Nate Land. Yeah. Stovland. Just one glass bottom boat where we get strippers to put their tits on it. That would be. fucking awesome. I'm like, all joking aside, I would love to experience that. I mean, I wouldn't be a friend if I wasn't like, make money from that. All right, Eldis. Play us this one. What do we

got? Hi, Stavey and a esteemed guest. Thank you for. You're held in high esteem here. I'm in a bit of a predicament. I have been living with my partners. family for the past years. We live in a really high cost of living city. So it's been a huge blessing and I've saved so much money and I kind of am not in any rush to leave per se. Oh, you're not. Right. However, I am starting to sort of pick up on little bits and bobs from his parents that they're kind of ready for us to go. We have been there years. So, yeah, I totally understand. I mean, they live in a large house in this said city.

But I am curious, do you have any advice on, like, navigating, asking to stay a little bit longer? They've just sort of been, like, you know, oh, we're like saving this. They're also, like, hoarders. They're major hoarders. Oh, we're saving this, you know, care for you. saving this furniture for you whenever you guys are ready to go that's so fun you have all of this stuff

here we have these um stacks of people magazine from 1984 yeah we've been saving these for me we've been saving weird baby dolls I'm just thinking about my grandmother my grandmother always have a weird baby doll I went to Greece in the middle of the Euro tour I had a couple days off and I just said fuck it I'm in Europe I'm going to Greece even I was only there for like three and a half days

and my grandparents have been dead both at this point 10 years at least maybe a little longer my one son my dad's parents their apartment is on top there's so much shit that they're just like my my aunt

uncle my cousin are like this is just like a full it would take us so long it was just like so much shit is still there it's fucking crazy the whole we have hoarding runs deep in in the jeans but yeah anyway this this is very funny is there more to it elders the good news is if they moved she's got like

a couch made of file cat. Yeah, you can figure it out. For you guys are ready to go, like we have all this stuff here for you to leave when you're, you know, take with you when you leave. And I keep on saying to my partner, I'm like

I think they're like trying to subtly hit it us moving out relatively soon. Am I crazy for wanting to stay in their house? Is it wrong for me to stay in their house? And And how do we navigate the conversation of maybe staying another year?

I mean, this is... I'm poor. All right, thanks, bye. This is what we were talking about earlier. It's like, things have gotten so bad that this woman is clinging on to staying with her, not even in-law. Just boyfriends hoard her parents. And she's like, you hear in her voice. It's like, she's like, I want to, I've been living in a resort rent for.

like she's talking like she's in fucking Cabo and they're like she thinks it's good it's like that's how sad things have gotten dude really really bad this is fucking pathetic now from a general etiquette standpoint is it wrong no

it's not wrong but are you rude like look it's good that you're picking up on these hints whatever your partner probably doesn't like now you know the person you're dating

either they don't give a fuck because it's their parents right like they kind of move they've moved into like fuck you mom and dad mode which is really sad when you see an adult regress that way

and it's one thing when that happens over like a long weekend but like if that's their life they're just behaving like that for a year that's really weird and pathetic or they're just like they're not in that mode but they're just kind of not that emotionally intelligent

and because it's their parents they're like I don't fucking care so you know you're probably more sensitive to what's going on than they are they also could be if they're like genuinely hoarders i don't know if hoarders ever do they get like self-conscious about how much crap is in their house like could they be saying like oh we're just holding on to this because so that you guys can take it i think i think once you cross i think there's a moment that once you cross the hoarder rubicon once you're a part of their day-to-day and they see they've accepted it yeah

I think they might be embarrassed at first, but once you've accepted their terms of how they live, they go right to hoarder about. Okay, right, okay, yeah. Like to them, they're like, do you just touch my glass figurines? Yeah. You know, like, it turns into that fast. That's how my aunt is anyway.

So, look, you're not crazy. But at the same time, it's a fucking year. You've saved up a lot of money. Yeah. Like, first of all, talk to your partner and make a plan. And if you think they're subtly kicking you out, then be like, we need to get out of here by this date. Let them know, hey, we're looking at apartments.

And by the way, that can be, drag out the, if you really want to sort of be like diplomatic about it, you can drag, you can go to a couple open houses. You can say, you can, you can apply to something. You'd be like, we're really busy today. We got a whole list, a whole bunch of listings we got to look at, you know. Or come back and be like, oh, it was horrible. or be like, fuck, we had this place and somebody got it right from a...

And that, which does happen, by the way, I lost a place I really wanted. And so, you know... Especially in high cost of living cities. Totally. It takes a while. But yeah, look, you can't live like this forever. It's nice that it's, you know,

it's nice you have a place where you don't pay rent, obviously, but this also should be a bit of a wake-up call to you to be like, do you want to live? Like, this... It's also like, come on, man. You want your own place. Yeah. Like, this is clearly, this is clearly pretty serious if you're willing to live with this person's parents.

Yeah. Don't you guys want to take the next step in your relationship? Like, is it wrong for you to stay in their house? No. Are you crazy for wanting to stay a little? A little bit. A little bit. I mean, what?

Like, would she just live here forever? Like, if she could, would she live there for free forever? Yeah, she doesn't say how much longer, really. Because this would drive me, even when I was broke. Oh, wait, another year. She says maybe, maybe staying another year. Another year I don't know

A whole fucking year I mean look Are you guys fucking in their parents' house Probably Like is it Probably Either they are or they've already catapulted to sexless marriage

Right By living with these old people You know like They've maybe you've started Becoming a hoarder that you know Sits down and watches you know Whatever jeopardy together every night Right

Yeah No disrespect to Dan and Katie Who do do that Yeah Soter and Katie Nolan love watching Jeppardt together. I have to know my in-laws many times. There's nothing wrong with me.

Andy, anytime I watch it with Andy, I'm like, why the fuck haven't you been on this show? This is insane how good you are at this. So, yeah, dude, talk to your partner, figure out a plan. And also, by the way, you could, again, it's not the craziest thing in the world,

to have an open conversation. You just sit down with your in-law, laws and be like, hey, I really just want to say, really appreciate it. Like, you know, is this too much? Do you need us to get out of your hair? You know, I want to save a little bit more money, but I'm happy to start, we're happy to start looking for apartments. Like, you can just have the fucking conversation.

Like, really, so much of this show ends up like that. And by the way, cynically, if these are sort of like nice kind of pushovery people, there's a chance to be like, no, no, no. Take your time. Why would you think that? Yeah, you could potentially reset the clock another six months without even trying or just by being direct. Or you, they might take you up on it and fuck it. That's fine too. Like, they already gave you a year. Yeah. You, you shouldn't inconvenience these people. Like, whatever. And then you get to live your life. You have to start living your life a little faster than you wanted to. But, you know, good luck. It's sucks that that's how

unaffordable houses are. I know, but get out there and be somebody. You have something fast here, Eldis? And it sounds like she's saved a lot of money. Yeah, that's something. That's got to be enough to, you know. Totally.

You got something here to end on, Eldis? Hey, Stoff, hey, Eldis. I'm calling in for some advice for that girl that was on the Jordan Jensen podcast, whose boyfriend had 15 friends that she couldn't break through to. Oh, yeah.

I also have it. Yes. Yeah, basically there's this caller. She was like, my boyfriend has like a fuck ton of friends. Every time there's a big bar hang. I feel like I can't connect with any of them, except like maybe one or two weirdos. Every comedian's girlfriend. Yeah, but they're good to not connect with every other comedian.

I also have an obnoxiously large friend group that stayed together from high school. And I've seen this happen multiple times. And there's a very specific formula that I've done. recommendation follows. Okay, this is good. There's always at least these two types of guys in groups that big. There's a guy that everyone typically makes fun of, and so you're going to want to immediately make fun of him.

But then when other people start to pile on, defend him. Oh, because he's also kind of the sweet heart of the group. This is good. This is really good. This is really good. This is a good. He's saying this, and I'm envisioning it working. This is really good advice, yeah.

So kind of the sweetheart of the group. and start making fun of the guy or the guys that are kind of like the top or the big dogs and don't get made fun of that often. That way you're immediately going to win over pretty much everyone except those major assholes and no one really likes them anyway. Yeah.

That's really good advice. She's golden after that. That is really good advice. Come in, call Eldis a bumbling Albanian. Then when I'm overdoing it, say, relax, you feel. A bad piece of shit. He's a sweetheart. And then I would love that,

legitimately. That would warm my heart. Yeah. But that's really good advice. Understand the sort of way. And I'm trying to get my wife to defend me more. Yeah. I know.

I do love when I went over your wife and she's laughing at me mocking you. So I'm saying the beaches and Greece are better than Albania. We had eldest so cooked. His wife loved Greece so much. We took like a big friendship. My cousin was getting. married, our buddy George was in Greece. They were going to be in Albania. So we just kind of like met

at an island and we had such a good time. And it was like right before they kind of did like a little pre-honeymoon because they knew they weren't going to be able to take a proper one for a while. So they took like a nice pre-wedding. And literally like at Elders' wedding, his wife's talking about how awesome Greece is. She's like asking for Greek songs to be played at the wedding. And Elvis literally on his wedding night was like, I'm Albanian It was for real

One of my favorite memories Was Eld is getting trolled on his own wedding day By his wife Because of the beauty of Greece I'm fucking Albanian Oh my God Oh man Stomping your feet

What a thing What do you want on your wedding night God damn Fuck, that was good But yeah, that's great advice That is great advice to that girl Understand the social dynamics Because a friend group that big

Is essentially a fraternity With that level of like You know social striation honestly I love making fun of Andy But whenever anybody else makes fun of Andy Totally I want to kill them Yeah

I'm like don't you dare fucking speak down That's my sweetie pie And that's beautiful That's what it should be Yeah. All right. Well, there we go. Rosebud, thank you so much for coming.

That was a great episode, of course. Go see Rosebud on the road. Go watch the special on Netflix. We're coming on the road as well. We should start plugging those dates. We probably did it in the beginning. Fuck it. But, yeah, where can they find you?

All that kind of stuff, Rosebud Baker. Go to Rosebudbaker. com for my tour dates. Rosebud Baker on TikTok, Instagram, all that jazz. Oh, and Netflix, the Motherload. Netflix, the Motherload. All right. Thank you, guys.

We will talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.