Stavvy's World - #152 - Ryan Sickler

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Ryan Sickler returns to the pod to discuss his new special LIVE & ALIVE (out now on YouTube!!), celebrating Halloween in Baltimore, being visited by a haunting specter during a health crisis, jumping off bridges, and much more. Ryan and Stav help callers including a guy who's wondering if he and his fiancée are crazy for buying a house that was a brutal crime scene, and a guy whose new baby mama doesn't like him talking to his other baby mama. Watch Ryan Sickler's new special LIVE & ALIVE out now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMGWVyM2NJo See Ryan Sickler live and follow him on social media: https://www.ryansickler.com/ https://www.instagram.com/ryansickler/ https://www.youtube.com/@rsickler    https://www.facebook.com/theryansickler/ https://x.com/ryansickler Visit Cornbread Hemp at https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/stavvy and use code STAVVY for 30% off your first order. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Hello, folks. Big announcement here on Stavi's World. The Dreamboat Tour is continuing. We're hitting a lot of the markets. We didn't hit last time this year. It's continuing in 2026. We're coming to Florida finally. We're going to Philly, Jersey.

Big show at Radio City here in New York City. Buffalo, Ohio, Kentucky. Iowa, Illinois, Atlanta, West Virginia, all over the place. We're going to Fort Wayne, Indiana, a place I swore I never would perform again. But, hey, sometimes you're on a tour bus, and you need to add something to make money to fuel the bus on an off day. Detroit, Rochester, Providence, Milwaukee. We missed a bunch of dates. Go to stave.combe, get your tickets now.

And, of course, we're still coming this fall. We still have some tickets for, we're going to Memphis, we're going to Huntsville. We have Boston tickets a few left, a very small amount of Austin, Texas tickets left. So we're very excited for the Dreamboat Tour to keep rolling. Please buy your tickets. And, of course, I am in an actual huge movie that comes out on Halloween nationwide, Bagonia, starring Emma Stone and Jesse Plemons. Your boy is in it for a few scenes.

If you've ever wanted to see your, you're a podcast host in a movie with legends for some reason. Go watch it. It's a great movie. You're going to love it. I'm very proud and feel very lucky to be in it. And if you like me on podcasts, hopefully you've liked me on tires, you've liked me at Let's Start a cult. You like me as an actor. Go check this out.

This is actually a huge, huge moment in my career in life. It's kind of insane. And it's really funny to plug it second after my tour dates in a Winnie, the podcast. Poo-Wonzie I'm now realizing. Well, anyway, enjoy this episode with our dear pal Ryan Sickler, and happy Halloween. We'll see you on tour and we'll see ya at the cinema. Guitar comes here. Should we just listen to this song?

Upa! Welcome everybody to Stavvy's World 904-800-Stav. call in, we'll solve all your problems. Welcome to Halloween week. It's spooky. We're not spooky. We're wholesome. Isn't that right, Elders? Put on your... Put on your... Oh, shit. How dare you, man.

There he is. E.R. Elders. Oh, I get pussy. No. How E.R. talks. No. Oh, my God. You're lying. You don't get any pussy. I get pussy. No. The wonder you're miserable. Oh, no. Fuck. Is that even when you're... The Poo sounds like, oh, Paul, the, I don't know.

Anyway, it's Halloween. We're all Winnie the Poot up, and we have on the couch, our good pal, Ryan Sickler, Baltimore's own. Thank you, guys. Thank you. I'm fired up. He actually had no idea. He was just dressed like this. Yeah.

It was a really happy coincidence. Listen, I've told you, this is soft. These are actually quite. These are pretty good. And I feel nice and warm and cozy here. That's what we want. I love it. That's what we shoot for here.

This might be the first time I've done a podcast in socks. In socks. I'm thinking about it. I'm not even, I can't even, I've done hundreds of podcasts, barefooted or in socks. You think more without footwear or something. It's creeping up. I mean, come down, I probably wore shoes most of the time, I would guess. Although, I don't know.

There's no video evidence. I don't really remember. We did that at either Nick or Adam's house And a couple times at my place So it's possible But definitely Stavi's world This has been a mostly shoeless affair I like it

Most shitless affair Good man, feel free And yes we are You know we are dressed as we need of poo Wholesome characters Against this satanic holiday of Halloween We're rebranding as a born again Christian podcast Ryan what do you think

What do you think else is that a good look for us I think that makes a lot of sense for what people expect from, from you, from the show in general. It seems like a natural shift, yeah. It's very wholesome. Staying, being anti-conservative but pro-extreme Christianity. We're those weird Catholics that are also like hippies or whatever. Remember those like, there's like that kind of religious person, but. Yeah.

No, we're not doing any of that. And we love Halloween. We play, listen, take your tits out. one of the most tits-or-out holidays, one of our favorites. It's almost become a little overplayed how much it's about, you know, the slutty X. You know, when did that occur? Was Halloween always slutty, do you think, or did it, has it become sluggier in recent years, Ryan? What do you think?

Are you, well, in fact, I would love to get into some of your old school Baltimore Halloween, you know? I'm sure you experienced some insane stuff. Well, I'll go back to your slutty things. Please. The slutty cops and nurses and all that. I feel like it's been a couple decades now. I feel like it's been about the 2000s.

The 2000s. But if you're older, how old are you now? I'm 36. All right. So I'm 52. If you're a little older, it wasn't like that. Okay. This is good.

That was absolutely a shift. I can't put my finger on the date. This is interesting. But I feel like it was the turn of the century. Right, right. After Y2K, everyone was happy the computers didn't. Everyone was like, hey, we did make it. You know what I mean?

This bunker over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's dump them out. And everyone just got, that's their reason to be slutty for the year. Wasn't it more of a child's holiday? Like, adults really didn't give a fuck about Halloween. Never. Never.

I don't ever remember my parents or any of our friends' parents throwing Halloween parties or like, you know, Aunt Janice showing up with their tities out. You know what I mean? Bobbing for Apple. Right, right. That never happened. It was always a trick or treat. Right. That's what it was. Or, you know, I'll tell you what we did.

Please. Can I just say my special? Of course. Of course. Please. Because I'm going to forget. Sorry, sorry. Yes. Go watch my special. Live and alive. Streaming on my YouTube now. Please go watch. Yes. Yeah, it's out now. It's on YouTube. We'll link to it. We should say you also almost died. There's a lot of interesting stuff to talk about. But let's get into, let's get into when Halloween turns slutty. I'm here for Halloween. I'm here for Halloween. Go watch the special. Support it, share it. Subscribe to the huddy-doo, the way back, all my pods. Ryan said on all your social media. One thing we, I just told my daughter about this, too, because now there's like, I'm in L.A., so Universal Studios will do a frightenade. These amusement parks will be not scary farm and all that shit.

We didn't have that. Back, maybe you guys went, but back in Maryland, we used to go to this place out in Tawny Town. You know Tawny Town? You heard of Tawny Town. And there was a haunted barn. Yeah, I know about this. I went one time.

I was not a big haunted. I'm a scaredy cat. I'm not like, I wasn't a horror movie guy growing up. I've become one now. My way in was actually... Dude, looking at you, I would never think you weren't a horror.

I know. I have horror movie. I have the horror movie body type. Absolutely, absolutely. The hairline came recently. That's interesting. Once I had this hairline, I did become a horror movie guy.

Maybe it is just sort of natural. once you start looking like this, you can't fight it. But honestly, ironically enough, the thing that got me into Halloween into scary movies was the kitsy 70s, 80s, slutty Halloween movie, which did predate, maybe was a little harbinger of things to come. Because even though it was a child's holiday,

there was a type of cinema. Maybe that's what started. Once like, you know, the genre became horny and became sort of like, Like, what's the big, the first big hit? Well, you did on Friday of 13th became like, like, yeah, that was a kind of morning. And then they were all into a camp and then there's titties coming out and everything. But even Friday the 13th, wasn't there tits in that?

The very first one when the mom was killing? I don't remember. Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. His mom was the killer. Halloween. Halloween's the all time. There's, there's tits in that, isn't there? I believe.

Yeah, there's at least teenagers having sex. So there's there, okay. And look up when Halloween came out, Elders? Also, the horror movie. The movies have gone. 78. The original film includes brief nudity, such as a scene when the female character is seen with bare breasts.

I remember this, yes, of course. But horror movies these days, I'm not into them because it's gone from the psychological jump scare to just all gross out there. Sure. Just crazy gore. I'm not into gore. That Halloween, the original one, is still that...

It was a tension. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but anyway, I... was not a big haunted house guy. I was too scared as a child. I was a big, some might say pussy. And in fact, I remember our church weirdly

did a haunted house. Which is so funny, Greek people don't give a fuck at all about like, like other churches were like banning Harry Potter. They were saying it's Satanic. Greek Orthodoxy is barely a religion. It's really it's really like no one is that religious. But yeah, we had a haunted house.

The same room I went to Sunday school in they like turned the the hall, they had like a hall underneath the church where they would do the Greek festival, they'd do a bunch of it. They did, that's also the place I drank, I got fucked up for the first time at the Greek festival. I felt

tits for the first time. In the church? Yeah, yeah, in the church. In the church. In the church. I felt tits. I think I was 14 or 15, getting really drunk at a Greek festival. Anyway, when I was younger, they had a haunted house and I just started punching the guy because I was like

some guy like grabbed me and I was just like, I just assaulted him and I was like screaming and they're like all right this kid has to get out but anyway you cut the lights off we gotta walk pretty much

pretty much we would go to the haunted barn every year and it was just this barn in the middle of fucking nowhere it wasn't an amusement you know what I mean which is already fucking

even when you drive by on a Wednesday in August you see that thing sitting there it's creepy yeah so they would do it up and they would have the chainsaw guy at the end And I remember seeing people just trip and fall out of that fucking thing.

That was really well done. Do you have any notable scares at the haunted house? You just were an enjoyer of it? I just liked watching the other people get scared. Oh, interesting. You were a scare cuck. Yeah. A lawyer, for sure.

I like to sit there and watch it. One of my favorite all time was this sticks in my head. It was it Magic Mountain and Six Flags in Valencia. And they did. the park over and there's just people they don't tell you which is actually pretty cool you're just walking from and they just jump out of the fucking bushes you have no like nothing this little tiny black kid i i to this day i will never forget can i stand up sure they jumped out of the bushes and the terror like this kid ran in place yeah he couldn't go like everything in him was like

get the fuck out of here but his feet could not go for he's literally doing like a like a scooby-due I laugh so fucking hard at that. Were they run in the air almost? Yeah, 100% that. That's very funny. But I have two brothers. So Halloween was always, we always went out for Halloween. And we

had the old school vinyl like, very flammable Halloween costumes. And it was just a plastic mask with a rubber band around your head and you get it all in one box at Kmart. Sure, sure. And Kiss was big then. So, Oh, hell yeah.

It's so funny. I had Gene Simmons on the podcast, and when I met him at my show at the comedy store, he had some really nice things to say. And all I could say was, I was you for Halloween one year, dude. You know what I mean? And we didn't have money, so one year, I'm Ace Freely. You guys switched off. And my brother's Gene Simmons, and next year I'm Gene Simmons.

And he's like, 100%. And the vinyl ones, too. And here's the other thing, too. going back to the slutty and the tradition that they changed like all of a sudden one year parents started driving their kids to trick or treat I'm like what the fuck's this shit? Yeah you hump it up the hill right

and we would take pillowcases you earn it Yeah we take a pillow case like a real And fill that motherfucker you know There were no specific Halloween bags No no make do It was get your own shit and go Yeah yeah yeah and just the vandalism on Halloween

Halloween vandalism is the shit man I remember one time It was like a house It was three houses up And my brother was more of a hellion And our neighbor Jeff was Okay And we're driving to school one day

My dad's taking us to school And this family had these You know those people That get those monster pumpkins And they put them out like look at this Sure And they're proud of real pumpkins Real like where you could sit on

Do a family picture on the shit Yeah, yeah. These guys had, like, two of them on their porch. The next day, they go to school, they're in pieces. And my dad goes, no, that's a damn shame. And I look at my brother and Jeff, and they are just laughing their ass off. Like, you motherfuckers snuck out of the house and bashed that guy's pumpkins, man. Just fuck the pumpkin up for no reason.

Right there at the house, too. Just to be a piece of shit. With a bat. Were you ever on any of these mischievous missions? Not that one. And now I was like, that's what I was like, oh, these motherfuckers are doing this shit with out me, you know what I mean? One night they went out too. They got caught. I wasn't on

this one either, but, and these are the kinds. So I have a twin brother, right? We're fraternal. We look nothing alike. And we're two different people. My brothers are fraternal twins. Are they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're my younger brother. I can't imagine having to say that. My brothers are twins. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What a gay thing to have to tell

people. I don't mind it. I've never considered, I've never considered gay to have twin brothers. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. So wait, you guys were just naturally fraternal twins? Because that happens a lot with IVF. We're not.

We are products of, so we're born March of 73, so we're products of 1972 fertilization medication. Really? My mom was having trouble, took some kind of pill, splits us. We're the only twins in the whole family. It is 100% because of that medication. Wow, some kind of weird proto medicine, damn.

I'm the only person that's, not six foot in my family. My mom is six foot. Wow. You got none of the nutrients in the womb. They hadn't figured that out yet. The meds were like, all right, we'll give you two. But one's going to be a runt. Your mom is taller than you. My mom's taller to me, bro. My mom can dump on me. Hmm. And I'm the one who's gay for having twin brothers. Your mom can back you down in the post. She can't, dude. She really can't. That's crazy.

Even as a shrinking old lady, she's taller than you? Still, right now. 70-some years old. She's still taller than me, bro. That's hilarious. I don't know if she'll ever not me. I'm not going to get any taller. You know what I mean?

I'm about to stick around for a while. She's got to lose three inches. And then I'm like, and then I then guess who's coming to dump. I've never. Yeah, yeah. She's in the nursing home. You're like, all right. I'm still getting her.

Here's some con versus mom. Let's hit the, let's hit the half court. I've never considered beat your mom being. Yeah. And that while? I guess that happens. I mean, I guess it happens to women. So my dad's like 6-2. Okay. My twin brother is about 6-2. My younger brother's about 6-1 and my mom was six. I'm 5'10. Wow. Yeah. That's all right, man. Yeah. That's okay. What are you going to do? And is that why they left you out of the mischief? You were to, they didn't consider you hardy enough? No. My brother was just a, my, here's what my twin brother told me.

Yeah. I just did a podcast with him after years and years. He said, look, the reason I never told you It was because, and this is key, we had one car. We're twins. We got to split that car. I get it this weekend. You get it next weekend. If you get in trouble, I get it your weekend. So he left me out of it because he knew I would.

He said he thought I'd ride his ass out and get the car. That's what he just told about. I was like, that's why? Yeah. So he went out one night to vandalize this kid's house up the street, like two, three houses up on Halloween. And I wake up the next day. saying my dad's like what the fuck's all over these light switches and he's looking around he's like

what this is like syrup or something I'm and I genuinely I'm like I don't know yeah yeah and then he puts it all together because my brother was very sloppy about shit so they went and took Hershey's syrup and ketchup and everything and vandalized this kid's car this is not even like egg it or like you know or like TP this is like how can we fuck this guy's life this is like this is in Halloween this is this is Halloween this is just okay oh it's just bullies just like March. There was that too. He's like, this is Halloween. And they fuck his kid a Ford escort. They're putting ketchup and syrup all over and egging it and shit and egg in the house. I mean, we live two doors down, by the way. We're not in another neighborhood. We are

your fucking neighbors. And my dad figures it all out and then their parents figure it out. My brother got, he got in so much trouble all the time. And then I will get the car. That's good. Yeah. There you go. And was this kid a piece of shit? Why did they choose his car? Yeah. He was a piece of shit. He was annoying. Yeah. Nobody liked this kid. He was also the one we got with the classic snowball trick, too.

I've never seen it work more beautifully in my life. And this, what's the classic snowballs? That's when you make two snowballs. Right. And you throw one in the air, and a person's tendency is to look up. And that's when that second one, Brandy Johnson's right in the motherfucking face. And I'm telling you, I've never seen anybody get duped more beautifully. Yeah, yeah.

My buddy, Jeff threw one up. And he played for University of Maryland, actually, too. He had a rocket. Yeah. He threw one up in the air and that kid looked up at it. And when he came back down, bam, I mean, I was like, busted his fucking face. I was like, wow. That's what I love this, like, classic almost like three stooges style bullying that you guys were engaged.

Absolutely. Just middle schoolers. You know what I mean? Today you'll get shot. Sure. Today he'll shoot you. But back then we would do that. It was a simple time.

We'd play football in the cemetery, like off to the grassy area where people weren't buried yet. Mm-hmm. Um, I thought something else we used to do. Do you remember Liberty Lake? No. You know, pretty boy, the reservoir in Maryland. Not really. I wasn't big old.

Elders is more of a reservoir. You know Liberty? You remember Liberty Lake? Kind of. Was it the one where people always like had to break, like sneak in, break in? You weren't like allowed to swim there or something? No, that's Piney Run. Oh, okay.

That's funny. You say that though. And Locke Raven too. Lock Raven. You're thinking of Lock Raven. Yeah, yeah. But Liberty. So also, fun little fact, there's no natural.

natural lakes in Maryland. Every lake is man-made. Interesting. Deep Creek, all of them. All of them. But Liberty was one we live near, and there was a bridge that goes over Route 32. And we took a tape, man. I even told my brother, people hit me up on the podcast. It was not 100 feet. It was 100 fucking feet from the, if you stood on the railing of the bridge to that water, it was 100 feet. The rafters under or about 50 feet. Okay. And we would all go. in the summer and we start you know we're swimming there just first and then you hear the rumor about a kid from the other high school who went who who jumped off and his his foot got caught and he drowned and it was true it was true holy shit 100% true so we start putting bodies in the

water so if stovie's getting ready to jump off the rafters there's four or five of us treading water out there if something happens just in case we're going to get you yeah okay okay all teamwork and we're doing this we're doing it And then my brother and a guy named George Wilk, we can say his name. He, uh, they decide that just jumping off the top. That's not enough. We're all starting jumping. Everybody's doing.

How fucking deep is this thing? That's deep as shit, dude. It's so deep that when, and I ended up having to do it, but when you go down, the top of the water is super warm in the summer. Gotcha. But when you get into that black shit down there that you ain't been in before, you start, you start thinking about that kid who's, you start pulling your feet up. Like, coming and get you from the depths.

Yeah. And everyone's starting to do it. Now it's a hangout after school. Now we're all going every day after school to see who's going to be the next one to jump off the bridge. And they say that you can get arrested or at least a citation because it can be considered suicide, you know, because you could hurt yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to wait until cars are gone. No one can see you do it.

They give you a ticket for trying to kill yourself. Sure, kill yourself, bro. Like, they're like, all right, come to court. Wait, wait, your mom's starring you? You're good. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny to be like

To give somebody who's trying to kill himself Like an annoying errand to run He'll just kill himself Like if I He's like all right He's a film to court in a month It's like how about I just fucking kill myself I was trying anyway

And you stop me What if I just do it you fucking dumb asses You know eldest I've been I've been lifting heavier recently at the gym And my body ain't as sprys it used to be I'm getting some aches and pains You know but I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to be hooked on any, any kind of medicine that might fuck me up.

I need the, I need Mother Gaia's medicine. I need the CBD gummies from cornbread hemp, which are formulated to work with your body, not against it. I hate when something is formulated to work against my body. That does not happen with cornbread hemp. It's important for me to maintain my physical and mental wellness, folks. That's hard. I'm in the podcast factory, putting in sometimes 90 minutes, a hundred minutes of work in.

And I need corn bread, hemp, CBD gummies to get my wellness singing like a bird. Have you tried everything under the sun for peace of mind? Well, you got to try corn, bread, hemp, CBD gommies. I like, I take them at night. They help me relax. They help, you know, they help relieve discomfort. stress, sleeplessness. Sometimes I draw a nice warm bath.

I'm on my divorced lady shit. I'm on my middle-aged bubble bath, you know, in the 90s. I feel like that was a big trope. Women used to love bubble baths in the 90s. And me, I'm, I got a little, you know, I soak in a nice warm tub. I got the cornbread hemp. I'm feeling good, brother.

Right now, Stavvy's World listeners can save 30% off on their first order. just head to cornbreadhemp.com slash stavi and use code stavey at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com slash stavey and use code stavey. So I finally go up and there's a friend of mine, Chris Schiller, and this kid says, I'm going to do it. And I was like, there ain't no way this motherfucker's doing it. You know what I mean? I still friends with him, still love him. And when he would get nervous, he would stutter.

100 feet. I'm jumping off a bridge into a like lagoon. lake is fucking crazy dude that's insane we have a there's a VHS of this somewhere we're trying to find it I just saw everybody back home when I was there in a song how big was that fucking camera it was a it was VHS

like a fucking news crew you guys just hanging out just sitting there there was nine white trash boys jumping off bridges everybody would come from high school now the girls are coming and doing it a couple girls that we had one girl did it she fucking had to go to the hospital because you got to keep your legs together she tore her vagina

True fucking story. True story. We still talk about it. She took her for a little bit. Because she didn't have her feet together. Wow. Which was a lesson for us because we got to watch our balls and everything else. Was there any other genital mutilation that occurred?

No, but this we're getting to it. It's not general though. We're getting that. So now we go up right now. When you're in the water and you're looking up, it doesn't look as high up as it does when you're up looking down. It just doesn't. That down is brutal.

It just doesn't. You see a leaf floating on the water and then you're like, oh, fuck, that's way down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we go up and this other guy comes with us, he's not going to go. But he's coming because I said if Sheeler jumps, I'm fucking going. He's like, I'm going to come up to make sure you guys do what I want to watch. Wow. So this guy's just there to be like, you gave me your word.

Yeah. I'm a coward. He's also, but I'm making sure that you guys aren't cowards. defense he's also probably 17 and 350 some pounds he's not going over right right right we don't want him right right right right right we're definitely it's the end of the bridge yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so schiller's looking over and he and he starts saying shit like when he would stutter he would hold a letter he wouldn't go tit he'd hold like a dub he'd like what are we going to do man he'd do it like that that was this big and he's like that's a long way down man and I'm like he ain't going he ain't going

And he's like, I'm in my school clothes. And I said, school clothes. And I look to my right. And when I look back, he's fucking gone. Wow. And I look over and there he goes. And I'm like, fuck. Fuck, that motherfucker did it.

I wouldn't bet a dollar. Yeah, yeah. He went. And I was like, fuck. He hit that water. He came out. Wow. Wow.

And I was like, oh, shit. Yeah, now you have to go. And I get up there and I stand there. And it's a way, he's in his clothes. We're all in our school club. We're in jeans and shit. What? We went right from school.

Why would you take your jeans off? I didn't bring a spare suit to, you know. We just went to hang. I didn't think I was going to be going, bro. Okay, so you're telling me this is just a bridge you walk across sometimes. No, this is a drive across bridge. Okay. Can you look it up?

Look up Route 32, Maryland Liberty Lake Bridge. You'll see videos of people doing this. And so you guys were just on the bridge. Stavi, listen to me. And you're in your jeans. There's no way he's going. going in my mind. He's not good. He's in his jeans because he's up there like, I ain't doing it. We've been watching it for a month or so. Yeah. And

there's no way he's going. But then something, I don't know, the Holy Ghost got him, I guess. And he just said, fuck it. Shoes and everything. And I say, there it is. Yeah, I mean, that's insane. That's crazy. No, that's not the one. That's too far up. Look at, um, look at Eldersburg. Liberty, uh, reservoir bridge, Route 32. Look at that. one. Either way. So you're, no joke. So he's dropped. He's fully clothed. Fully clothed. And now you're there fully closed. Fully closed. You guys

have backpacks? There it is. Off the top of that though. Still crazy. So the rafters are there off the tippy top and that water is higher than when we were in it. That's why it was 100 feet and we did it. No backpacks. They're in the car parked on the shoulder of the road because you can fish there. So you're allowed to park on the shoulder and all that. You know what I I mean, so cars parked on the shoulder. This really is like a fucking white trash watering hole. 100%. It's like you park your shitty car.

You either like fish or jump off it in jeans. What the fuck is. Listen, when we would go back to swim there and jump off rafters, there was also a place the rock. We'd go drink and smoke. We would wear our swim trunks and stuff for that. This was just the day we were going to be just to watch. Just hang out.

Have fun. And this motherfucker says, I'm going. going and I was like there's no way you are so I'm gonna go up there with you yeah and then he went and I was like this motherfucker so now it's your turn I'm not fully closed and I'm no bitch but I'm on that bridge and I'm a bitch and I'm over the edge and I'm tell it took a good three at ease yeah I kept around myself back like yeah yeah and then I went I kept my fucking feet together and you hit so hard that you go down so fucking deep it's black and it's cold shit and you're panicking because You've never been down.

Of course. You're swimming up. You're like, ah, you're so relieved. And then you're stoked. And then you're looking up. Here comes everybody else. And the next day in school, with shoes on, the bottoms of my motherfucking feet were killing me. And so was my ass.

Like I hit sit a little bit. We keep going. Now, my brother and George Wilk decide it's not enough to jump. We're going to flip. Oh, my God. They're going to flip off of it. That's nuts. And we're like.

you should definitely got, you guys should definitely go do that. Yeah. You definitely do it. So we got a camera. They had been talking about it so much. We got a camera. My brother's like, I know it's around. Somebody's got it.

I said, hit up everybody on Facebook and find it. Both of them go up there. And they're in no shirt and swim trunks, obviously. They're doing this. This is planned now. And George goes first and he flips. He goes a little sideways and he hits hard. He hits hard.

But he comes up. He's okay. Everybody's in the wall. water. He's like bruised instantly. Yeah. And here comes my fucking idiot brother.

My brother, you know when you're first learning how to do a flip off of just a regular dive and you're scared as a kid and you sort of dives off. Yeah, I don't know that I've ever done one flip in my life. You've never flipped off a diving board you like? I've been fat child my whole life.

I've been fat my whole life. I have a big cannonball guy. I know you'll back me up here all this. You're also a big cannonball guy. Absolutely. I've never done a flip off a diving board. No. I don't think I've even ever tried a diving board.

I have tried a diving board and just immediately like belly flopped. But not even one at like the Y where it's high enough where all you really have to do is just walk off and fall. You don't even need to flip me to tumble forward. No. I think I've done one, like I've tried it at like a friend's pool like twice. And I've, it's been a disaster. Yeah. And you're scared though naturally at first.

And nobody's going straight out and perfectly over. You sort of, you sort of cheat to the side a little bit. Like when you're a kid. you learn to jump off, you just go. So my brother gets, he's fear got him a little bit. And when he jumps, he flips to the side like that. Yeah.

And immediately he is flailing out of control. Oh, no. I mean, it's not just a nice side tuckwood. It's like, his arms are going. It's a hundred fucking feet. He's everywhere. And I mean, the slap that hits the fucking water.

Oh, God. We all go in and get him. He comes up. He is immediately spitting up blood. Oh. Bro, immediately blood, bro. Spitting up fucking blood off of this. It's just your guys fun little after school hangout.

And your brother's got internal bleeding. He's got internal bleeding. He's spitting up blood. George is all bruised up on this side. I'm like, you guys are fucking idiots. I promise you no one tried to top it after that. Yeah, yeah. But we would swim there all the time.

This is another story I've told. No one believes it. But I still am in touch with all these guys. I call my brother after it too. I'm like, do you remember that? and he says, he interrupted me and finished the story. So we're swimming one day. So off to the side, there's a really nice, it's like a 60, 70 foot cliff.

Okay. So that one's really fun to run and just jump off. Okay. And we would all do that. The bridge is over here to your right now. Sure. We're off that. We're over here.

We're jumping, summer jumping. Sure. We all play around a lot. Oh, snake, sharks. We're out there treading. Well, one day, my brother fucking jumps off. and I'm telling you, I swear to God, off the humble 60 foot cliff.

Yeah, yeah. The baby. Yeah. And a fucking water moccasin is fucking coming right at them. I don't know if there's a nest in this fucking below us. And what are these like fucking eels? What is this? Dude, water moccasins a fucking black snake.

Check these out. Oh, man. Oh, they're poisonous. Listen to that name, bro. You motherfuckers are swimming off, below a bridge next to a cliff with poisonous snakes. Yeah, well, copperheads are all over, Maryland. We have a lot of poisonous snakes in Maryland. Copperheads, you got to watch for us.

Why don't you go to the community pool? Why don't you go to the fucking wreck center pool? Here's the thing. We didn't have the money. Freedom pool was two blocks away. We did not have the money for the community pool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. We're swimming in Liberty Lake.

Yeah. So that's nuts. I mean, it's a legit fucking snake. So a poisonous water snake is coming for your brother. Listen to me, all my life. I believe you. This is a fucking true story. Yeah, yeah.

And we're put, you know, we're talking, but we've all, we've all cried wolf. Yeah. Yeah. That looks fucked up. And they haul ass across the water. Yeah. Like, they're water moxies. It's in their name.

That sucks. Oh, and they can swim. Yeah. You know, not just like a, you're like, oh, I didn't know, iguanos could swim. It's a motherfucketing towards your brother. It's coming for him. Yeah. And we're, you know, we're telling him.

And he doesn't believe it. We've cried Wolf so many times for, for months. Right, right, right. He's, whatever. He's treading and hanging out, waiting to, and we're like, God, if I'm down. And then he turns around, he sees it. He starts swimming.

There's no way he's getting away from. Of course. He's not going to beat an aquatic snake. Jeff Wagner, the same kid that played for University of Maryland, who also got the kid with the snowball. Yep. Takes a fucking rock. A flat, like a good skipping rock.

This is nuts. This is a true goddamn story. And he throws it at that fucking snake. And on my life, cut that motherfucking snake in half. In half. In half. Come on, man. Listen to me, bro.

And then Paul Bunyan came behind the cliff. Two pieces floated right to the fucking ground. On my fucking life. And I almost died. Go watch my special live and alive all my life. That habit. That is fucking hilarious. I mean, I wish I could say I did that.

Sure. We're all looking at each other. No, you're just there. Oh, there's no way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he went on to play University of Maryland after that. And it made sense. It made sense.

I'm like, guys got a fucking arm. He was the guy we take the King's Dominion. You ever go to King's Dominion? sure yeah and he'd throw the radar gun at the end of the day and he'd beat whatever the score was and then we bounce out of there with like an oversized stuffy it was always he was that guy and we we learned the hard way that you know if you win that you got to carry that thing all day right right right they're like no you don't get to come back and pick it up so then we would do that when we'd leave at the end and then we're rolling out in a big ass winnie

the poo in the car yeah yeah yeah and who was that for what did you guys what what utility did you get out of that i have no idea what he ever did with any of those like six He probably went out and fucks them or something. Six dudes hanging out like, all right, fellas, time for a nightcap. Let's go win us a giant stuffed animal. That was just all ego. That's all dude ego. What is it?

It's 92. I got that. And he would get up there and beat that shit. That's fucking awesome. I mean, that is honestly a white trash, a Maryland folk hero. That's lore. Kill a snake with a rock. He did.

And then go, would he play baseball in Maryland? And then play baseball in Maryland? They're base. That's a legend right there. That's a guy that doesn't have to pay for his jerks in Essex. Yeah, he drinks for free. At the hard yard cafe. And all the American legions, I promise you that.

The American legions across southeastern Baltimore County. We used to get in a lot. So when we finally left the city, we moved to Carroll. Well, we bounced around. But when we finally settled in Sykesville, we lived by train tracks. And our buddy, Chris Lamb, lived a couple miles away. Yeah.

And we don't have cars then. If it's winter, you're not riding your bike. Sure. So we would go down to the train and we would hop on the train. Come on, man. You guys are hobo riding. You're hopping trains locally. You're using it like a tram.

Please look up Sykesville, Maryland train station. So to hang out, you're like, all right, man. Normally, normally, summer or whatever, we ride our bike. It's a couple miles, so we're not walking that shit. So you know the train schedules? Here's the deal. It goes right through his backyard. Okay.

He had a house. Oh, my God. You're so poor you can use. It's like it kind of turns around where it's like you live in a good enough area with public transit to you're so poor you live through. The train cuts through your property so you can use it as public transit. I can say this address outlet. There it is right there. There's a train station right there.

But it's a lot of cargo. They're coming through all the time. I know those trains. These are not. I mean, listen. Passenger trains. Greek Town is literally right by the trains. 308 South Macon Street where my Aunt Marguerite lived, out back was the trains.

My cousins would roll under them while they're moving and shit. I'm like, what are you doing? They would put rocks on it and it would roll over. And I was like, oh, big rocks. I'm like, is that going to derail that train? And then it were crushing into dust. I've never seen anything like it. Dude, remember, elders, do you remember my, because, yeah, we grew up right by those train tracks.

My brother was to play on them. He posted, like, an Instagram story about, like, should I go, should I, like, follow the train or should I hop the train or something like that? And he, it was like a, it was like a yes, no. It was like an Instagram poll. And my mom voted no. My mom, he says something hinting about killing himself on the train. And my mom didn't call him. She wasn't like, are you okay?

She was just like, no. And it was, and my brother. send it to our group chat. It was one of the funniest fucking things. I think my mom was like, I don't think he's serious, but let me just vote no. It was very funny.

That's how beating down your mom is from like decades of just like getting trolled by the three boys. Getting trolled by us for sure. She was like, no, don't. One of my favorites is when you came on the pod and you told the story about how proud she was and everything.

And then when someone said, what's the name of the show? She would go, Come down. It's called the Comtown. Yeah. She was like Stavra's doing good Him and his friends have a radio show

She called her a radio show back then I mean this was when at first When we were making like just It was just I didn't need another job And it was like we were making like two grand a month Or whatever which is fucking great You know just started And she was instantly bragging

And then she was like It's clearly she's stalling Because her friend on the other line Asked her what's it called She's like it's a It's called Kamata Listen, I tell everybody when they, anyone that comes to me for advice about pods or anything, I go, listen to me, do whatever the fuck you want. Don't listen to managers.

Yeah. Don't listen to agents. Stavros had a podcast called Comptown. Yeah, sure. And if they would have told anyone they were doing that, that everyone would have said, no. Many people did. Of course. I didn't think it was a good idea.

And boom. Whatever. I was just like, who cares? Look, what matters is the fucking content? Well, I just thought podcasts were over, but hey, here we are 10 years later in Winnie the Pooh outfits. Not only are they not over, Eldis somehow has a career because of it. Just my dumb friend who I was roommates with when the podcast started. Podcast, baby.

Eldis is the biggest podcast zealot there is. I'm all for it. So, I mean, we've talked about your upbringing has been very funny. But the thing you just mentioned, just. Offhand, without even thinking it was interesting, was that you had McDonald's curtains and McDonald's bed sheets, which is like a level, again, a level of poverty that I didn't even think, like, I was like, well, I'm sure. I know those existed, I guess, but like, did you get them from a reward? Do you have enough fucking nuggets? Do you have enough nuggets that you got it?

I never even thought of it. Okay. These are all wonderful points. Did your mom feed you quarter? pounders enough that we're like so I have a podcast also called the way back where we sit in the back of the old school station wagon that faces traffic and it's just a quick 30 minute nostalgia podcast and I've talked about these bed sheets and everything and we've looked them up sure you can see that they are a real thing yeah I believe that they're real one year my dad got transferred

from he was working at national and BWI we got transferred to Houston oh wow so we're we're living in Houston, Texas. Oh, all of you, the whole family. The whole family go to a place called Spring, Texas, outside of Houston for just one year. Now, Texas is important to me because that's where I learn how to swim. That's where I learn how to climb trees. I got that scar right there. Texas was important for me as a boy, right?

And how old are you, like 10? No, no, we're like four. Oh, wow. We're young. Okay. And my dad, they hate it. Yeah. So he moved back to Maryland.

Okay. So that's our one year there. But down there is where my. brother and I, so we're twins. So we got matching. It's not just one. Yeah, yeah. It is matching McDonald's bed sheets and curtains. That's what we have. And you guys were big McDonald's guys. You're like, I have no idea. We were four. We weren't big McDonald's guys at all. Like, I don't understand why. But you said, for example. You did? I did. But I loved the Latin. I was a little kid who, but they were already marketing like McDonald's. Think about this is 70. This is definitely like late 70s. It's not even the 80s.

And one of the first great American brands. They did a great job. You even said next year, maybe we'll do McDonald's characters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they had, I mean, we used to have plates. This is the dawn of Grimmish. Yeah, and glasses, they had characters. They had a plate.

I still had a plate. I still remember it in my head. It was Ronald McDonald and Grimmis on it. And Ronald was raking fall leaves and or maybe Grimmis was and Ronald was playing in them or something. There were these plastic plates. Yeah. And they had, if you remember, too, when Cal was breaking the street, McDonald's had the special glass.

Like, McDonald's been good at their shit for a while. Sure, sure. We legit had pillowcases, bed sheets, and curtains at that fucking house. Did you eat a lot of McDonald's when you were four? Later. Okay. So at the time, it was just about the iconography. I guess my mother must have been into fucking McDonald's.

Had to be her. That's so funny. It doesn't make any sense. I mean, McDonald's was our, like, definitely that was our. Growing up. That was our treat. That was our treat. Right. Yeah, you too. Or you were Burger King. We love McDonald's. We would do McDonald's Fridays all the time. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. But we love Burger King, too.

Sure. You dabbled in way more fast food than I did as a youth. I think so. Because you were a Taco Bell guy. You were a Burger King guy. Yeah. We never did like Popeyes or like chicken places. Popeyes was, that's where the Halkees family shined. Yeah. That was our number one fast food. Well, we were McDonald's kids as, youths, very young, because also I feel like when a family friend would take you, you know, when like somebody would watch you like your, you know, those aunts and uncles that you're not related to at all, but it was just like your mom's friend. I feel like the go-to thing when you're

like watching an eight-year-old for your friend for the day is you take him to McDonald's. You take them to the mall. You take him to McDonald's. But once we were able to make our own decisions, we were a hugely Popeye's family. And then we, and then it became ordering pizza. I've mentioned before the Domino's 555 deal came around right when me and my brothers were like 12 and 14 respectively. It was right when my mom was like, all right, I'll leave you guys

alone. And truly maybe some of the best days of my life were like mom's gone, me and the fellas got the AC blasting. It's like when you're not fighting with your brothers when your kids and you're like, wow, these guys aren't so bad.

We're watching Yu-Gi-O or whatever the fuck. And we're each ordering our own pizza. There's no fighting anymore because it's 5-5-5. Everyone gets their own pizza. Legitimately, some of the best days of my life are like July's, July, like, Wednesdays in Baltimore when I'm like, when my mom just let us stay there and we could get, you know, the 5-5-5 deal. Can I, can I give you another white trash tip for all you out there for these 5-5 deals or these two-for-ones? Now, you can only do this once at each main chain. okay unless you move okay all right i think i know where you're going but you can only burn it once

and we should do that we moved so much we bounced around so fucking much and also from the time i'm 16 my dad dies my mom's already gone so from the time we're 16 on there's no parents and we're scraping to do anything we yeah yeah yeah so what we would do for the five five five is we would order the five five and then we'd eat one of them and then we will call and we'd say hey there's hair all over this pizza and they would say we are so sorry yeah okay so there's like a two some kind of some kind of meal deal dominoes is great customer service okay we learned about this you start figuring out whose dominoes now I'm sorry I don't mean to again we have generational divide here a little bit the 555 deal was around when you were a kid too it might have been the two some kind

there's always a deal sure some kind of two for something like that yeah right but it was a three pizza thing. I don't know if it was 555, but it might have been buy two, get one or whatever. Yes. They were big on the buy two get, which probably mathematically ends up to do the same thing. But in my head, I'm like, well, no, 555. That's, come on. Brian, please. So do you remember the noid? Were you around for the noid? Uh, very, their marketing. I remember him, yes, a very annoying. So, and also, that's right. And Domino's had the 30 minutes or it was free and then a driver had an accident. And they were like, yeah, shit's over. Right, right. Right? And then he could take as long as they fucking want.

But we would call and say, there's hair all over this pizza. And they would say, we are so fucking sorry. We're going to send another driver out. Well, the first time, we were just expecting one pizza.

Nah, Domino's matches the deal. We got six pizzas. Six for the price of whatever you're paying, okay? Wow. But you can't keep doing that at Domino's. I feel like now that's over. But you know who we call next?

Uber each, you could be like, hey, my driver ripped me. I didn't get my, I didn't get my nuggets and the driver put a batonned up my ass. And they're like, here's $5.80. Well, you didn't answer your phone.

Yeah. We called them. We did a courtesy call and you didn't answer it. So legally we don't have to do anything. But here's 20% off of like a yogurt smoothie or whatever. Now customer service is completely out the window. Oh, no. Yeah.

The 80s. I don't know if it's working anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they would send out whatever the deal was. That's awesome. You're getting whatever you paid for again. And they would look like they could go. a commercial. Yeah. And I

when I was living with my Aunt Marguerite, she was the one I told you the sued right aide and became a millionaire. Yes, yes. And went and said, we're out of here. We had a great episode. By the way, for everybody, we did an episode with Ryan back, we should, we should on our Patreon where we really got in some incredible

white trash Baltimore. Oh, it was a Patriots, right? Yeah, yeah. This is like one of the first, it was like a year, year and a half ago. But some great, some really great stuff, you know, I don't know some obviously trash. I mean, your life is, you're one of the most positive guys who had tragedy stalk him like the grim reaper. You really are incredibly positive for like all the

unfortunate things that keep happening, man. Literally we just didn't talk about how you just died. Like you were, it's insane where you were just like fine one day. Like you were dealing with some minor health stuff. And then you're just almost like, I just see a post where you're like, I'm almost, I almost died. Like, can you just, I know you've talked about a ton, but just to give the people a little taste and a little, a little quick one. And then, you know, we'll take some calls. But, you know, live and alive is the special. And then what, what, give us just a little. Well, I exactly happened. As I look back over my life, I have actually highlighted my low lights. That's what my honey do for, and it's just happens. So this special is very different. My last special, if we're being straight up honest, we're in a YouTube world for me. I had a bunch of stuff. I had a bunch of stuff.

out there that I didn't own or whatever. So the first part of it's a little bit of what I wanted to put on that I never had. And then the second part is becoming a single dad and some really good stories and stuff. And YouTube demonetize it because they said I glorified cannabis. So go just click on that one. Wow. Click on that one and give it. We're close to a million.

What's wrong about? And what's the problem? Yeah. I have an email saying that I glorified cannabis. Yeah. And I did. And you do love smoking weed to a degree. Yeah.

That is astounding how. functional you are. Thank you. I think every time we've ever done anything, whether it's a pod, a show, anything, you're just, every time I've seen you, you're like finishing up a joint. You're constantly like, okay, yeah, yeah, you know, I'm putting it out and about to do something. That's all that's kept me saying. It's all that's kept me saying. I'm not a big drugs guy. Wheat is it? Like they take weed away from you, become the most violent. Well, that's what I was worried about. I've had to quit for a while before.

When my daughter's mother and I split, I thought she was going to take me to court, and I thought I was going to be tested. So I stopped smoking weed for a while. And then I was like, you ain't taking me to court? And she goes, no, I was like, I had to smoke to get rid of that anxiety. We're good, we're good.

Then you don't get, because, dude, I, I've been, like, weed, I do like, when I'm working a lot, it's a nice thing to kind of, when I'm in a good place, mentally and I'm like working it's a nice kind of level me out but like anytime I have any worries and I smoke weed I'm just in a fucking like I spent the last couple days being like oh you're fucked you're a fucking idiot just for no reason I'm just busy and I have a couple things to finish up and I'm like you're never going to finish it you're fucking dumb at you know what I mean like

um uh you're gonna die you're too fat whatever you know it's like you're not taking your life seriously just anytime I have a single worry and I smoke weed it's the worst drug of all time for me now yeah but for you you're good you don't get it's like my lexapro yeah but but i will say going through really heavy shit not just a little simple shit but heavy like when i was splitting up with my daughter's mom and i'm losing my daughter and also becoming a single dad and shit i barely smoked during that because that it would make me spiral that's i'm like she's gonna have a boyfriend over there and he's gonna fucking burr you know and you just start going into these like yeah rabbit holes in your mind you don't want to

to. So I definitely pumped the breaks when I'm going through serious shit. But the hospital stuff, I went in for what I was told was a three hour back surgery. Simple was the word that was used. I know. I remember your post being like, hey, everything's cool, just a very routine thing. And literally, because it's a very, because you know, you just see your friends posting like medical shit. You're like, oh, that's good. I'm glad it, whatever. And then it went from like, it was almost like you're like, got to get a root canal. And then you're going to. you're just like, someone shows a picture of like every tube in the world in your face. And I was like, what the fuck is going on?

I was freak the fuck out, dude. I remember that. Because it was such a- It was just a jarring thing. It was, bad. And this is, look, I'm going to say this too. And that's got to feel bizarre because you're just going under, because, like, you know, we've all been under anesthesia and you just give up control.

And then you wake up. If you wake up. And then you wake up to, and you have no control over what just happened. And so that must have been a surreal feeling to be like, huh, this doesn't feel like I just had a three-hour back surgery. You know what I mean? Like, what did that feel like coming to? Well, it went differently. So I will, I, the whole day was an ordeal.

I was supposed to go in for my surgery at 10 a.m. There was a leak from a pouring down rain in one of the ORs. So they were like, we got to do them all out of this. I don't go into like 6 p.m. Wow. So when I wake up, nobody's there, but like these nurses that want to get me the fuck out of the hospital. Oh, wow. And I refuse to go.

until I can piss on my own and they're trying to shove a catheter on my dick because they want to go home and I'm like no yeah yeah I should have been here yeah at 10 a.m. and done and I would have plenty of time to piss. I don't care and I would not let me go and I was like well you're not going home until I piss and I pissed. Respect. But when I go home over the weekend the doctor had given me a number and said you know send me some photos if there's anything weird and all of a sudden the scar area started like bubbling up. So he said okay you you could. be bleeding back there if he said now instead because when you actually have back surgery the first thing they want you to do is get up and move oh interesting and what i had already known this is why i want to say be your own advocate in there i have a blood disease called factor five light and which is what killed my dad and my grandma but i find out when i clot at 42 and almost die wow it's six months of you might have leukemia and lymphoma guess when i'm not smoking weed guess when i'm not fucking going, oh my God, do I have?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I find out I have this genetic blood disease and it's in all my pre-op paperwork. I am telling everyone to the point where the surgeon said, man, you're really worried about that, huh? I said, I am. So he bought me these little cuff that pump your calves. They don't do anything.

So the bubble continues to fill and he says, all right, I need you to come back in and we're going to open you back up and fix you. You could have coughed when you came out of, you know, anesthesia. Could have been anything, but it's a simple fix. Okay. But what he told me to do during the weekend was lay down because that could go down on its own if you rest, but it doesn't. So I go back.

I have another surgery. They fix me. And again, it's lay here and rest. And I am just saying I can't fucking lay still. I can't. And day after day, I lay still. And I'm begging them. Can't lay still.

you're fine. I'm not fine. They finally move me. You'll appreciate this. The night, they're telling me I'm going home on Monday. It's the Sunday night. We're playing the fucking Bengals when Snoop reached the ball over the goal line. They knocked that out of his fucking hand and ran it back, even though it was a block in the back on Andrew.

That's the night. And I go, you know what? I'll just stay here. I'm leaving tomorrow. And they're like, you should just go up to your own room anyway. And thank God I do. So I go up that night during halftime. I don't want to miss any of the game.

And then I see that. And I'm going, now. And I'm going, oh, this can't be good. I'm watching that guy run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The bad omen. So the next morning, I'm allowed to go home. But I can't go home until the occupational therapist makes me do a couple tests and then I can go home.

Now, the night before that, they finally came to get me up off to bed and said, look, you've been laying here for days. We just need you to sit up. And if you can sit up without getting dizzy or anything, we can do a couple. little exercises. And when I sat up, I was dizzy as shit. And they go, okay, we're not going to do it. I go, let me sit a minute. They go, no, no, no, you don't understand. Just listen to us. We'll do it tomorrow. So the next day, the occupational therapist comes and she's like, okay, all this plays at such a big part because I would have gone home one day earlier if I didn't have stairs to my apartment. I had to stay one extra day to prove I could walk stairs. You go upstairs down. Yep.

So the lady comes in, she makes me, and I'm not kidding you when I say, she gets me on a walker and makes me just do like a little senior citizen 360. She goes, okay, your balance is good. And she goes, the stairwell is locked. So I brought this, it was like a little four steps there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, I want you to just go up and down this a few times, show me you can go up and downstairs. And that morning when I woke up, I woke up, when I woke up, I woke up, when I woke up, I was up, I was telling you, Stavi, I felt weird. I felt 100% weird. And prior to that, actually, like, four in the morning, I woke up and I'm telling you, Stavi, A black figure is touching my big toe. Oh, no, dude. It's shaking it. What the fuck? It's shaking this motherfucking toe right here. Like a specter? At the end of my bed, just a ghostly black.

Not even, it didn't look like a person. Just a, just a blob. What the fuck, dude? And it shook my toe, and it went that way. And I went to sleep. And I was like, you went to sleep. I went back to sleep, but I'm also delawed it out of my mind. You know, I'm having the worst nightmares.

Yeah. And I'm freaking to fuck out. like, I'm not supposed to be here. Totally. You know what I mean? I'm not supposed to be here. But it's okay because it's only been a few days and I'm going home tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I go up and down that little stare thing and the lady, it's like a sitcom. She goes, as your occupational therapist, I can tell you that you've just passed all the necessary steps and you can go home today. And I, like Fred Sanford, grab my chest and I said,

I'm clotting. And she said, what? I said, I'm clotting. I collapse on my bed. Oh, my God. I don't see anything after this. I hear she runs. out she gets someone the surgeon comes in and he says sir what's going on i said i'm clotting he said how do you know i said it's happened to me before and i you motherfuckers told me i wasn't and thank god i i said he's like what's it feel like an elephant on your chest i said it feels like there's three them on my chest and he said do you feel any heart attack symptoms and i said no and then a second later i said oh my god yeah i said my jaw my left arm to shit you always hear and he said sir you might be clotting and having a heart attack.

Oh, fuck, dude. And then that was it. I black out. Holy shit. That's death for me if I don't wake up. And I talk about all this in the special too. And when I wake up, this is what I say in the special too, they tell me I have massive pulmonary pulmonary embolisms and they've gone through my heart.

My heart is twice its size. Jesus Christ. And normally they can do a surgery where they go in your groin, vacuum that shit out. But because of the blood disease I have, they tell me doing that could make me a vegetable. Oh, my God. So I have to go old school, which starts with intravenous blood thinner, transitioning to a needle, transitioning to me taking an oral tablet before I can even leave the fucking hospital. And they tell me these next 48 hours are touch and go and you should call some people. So I got to call my daughter's mother and tell her I might fucking die in here.

I got to call my business manager, Roy, thank you, Roy. I was like, you need to call everybody and tell them. I said, remember when we were joking about this? I was like, yeah, fucking shit just got real, bro. Holy shit. And I end up being in there for three weeks. Jesus Christ. And this is what I'm saying.

I'm talking about this in the special. I'm not in there because I'm not eating right or taking care of myself or smoking too much or drinking too much. I'm in there because they wouldn't listen to me and they fucked up and they almost kill me. And I have surgeon after surgeon. My one surgeon cried. He came in crying for me.

I was like, this ain't good. Dr. Cry. I'm like, what are you about to say? He's like, you're not supposed to be here. I was like, yeah, but are you going to say anything else? He's like, oh, sorry. I'm like, okay, thank God. But it wasn't on him, you know, it was on the care and keeping of me.

Do you got any lawsuit on your hands? No, I looked into it, but here's the deal. There's two things. I don't want to spend two or three, four years of my life. Yeah. Going down to fucking L.A. court. For what, in the end, $3,000 after it's all. I don't know about three, but here's the thing.

I looked into it and what would have to happen is I would have to get their peers to say, yeah, they fucked up. And they're never going to do that because at some point they're going to fuck up. And you've got to get them to go against them for me to have any kind of legitimate expert to speak on my behalf. And they're not fucking doing that. Has the dark specter visited you since? nah bro that's good want to hear something wild yeah please i'm at uh it was a night at the comedy store uh actually no i went to see uh do you know the rapper prof prof prof he's fucking great he's out of minnesota no no great i've had him on the pot a few times interesting he's right

up our alley he's big into comedy and everything he's great check him out and um he was performing at the roxy and right next door is the rainbow so i went um kim kum Kongden came and Sarah Weinchank. The three of us went. They were in one of his videos and stuff, I think, after. Maybe I do know this guy. He's a white dude. He's a white dude.

Oh, good, good. Not many of that. And we go to the rainbow and we're just sitting there after. And have you ever been in there? It's like a shrine to Lemmy from Motorhead. But it's known to be haunted. Oh, shit. Okay.

This fucking weird lady. and she's got like this it's a white lady older with like just gypsy clothes on and shit and she's got this little black dude behind her like a minion dude's looking down at the ground

he doesn't say anything and he's following her like this close like backpacking her you know and she's got a red feather and she's walking around the whole place and she's just touching shit with this red feather

we're minding our business out of nowhere here she is petting my face with this red feather I said what the fuck is first of all Like, is that from your parent? Yeah, what the fuck are you doing?

Yeah. I go, lady, get the fuck off me. What are you doing? She just doesn't say anything. She's pet me with this red feather. Fast forward a few weeks later. I'm clotting. And then I'm like, did this bitch curse me?

You think she cursed me? You think she cursed me? I'm like, this bitch cursed me. I know, saved me. Interesting. Went over him red, redding me all up. Yeah. And I clock.

I do think you probably have some kind of fucked up relationship with the occult. I think like there's either a curse or there's spirit. where there's something, and it's just very, which is a very funny concept of just like a nice, like an awesome dude who's just like has evil spirits around him, but you're so positive you keep them at bay.

That's my working theory about you. That's nice. When I was at my low, you know what's funny when I'm at my lowest, that's also when people I don't talk to anymore tend to text. You know what I mean? Like people from your past that are just shit, like, hope you're good and I'm laying in the hospital, but they don't know it. I'm like, yeah. Interesting.

Fucking dark powers are over. Some forces are brewing, but you've kept them at bay this long. I wonder if there has any, let's see, we have any questions about the occult eldest or? Very interesting, you should ask. Yeah. Let's see, very good. Let's see what we got here. Ryan might be just the guy.

Hey, Stubby baby, eldest, esteemed guest. First time, long time. Just want your perspective on something. So me and my fiance recently bought a house. We're both millennials. The only reason we were able to buy this house is because of what a good deal it was. And a lot of people in the town we're moving to as well as, you know, a lot of our friends, co-workers, family, and stuff kind of think we're nuts for going with the house anyway. There's one in your perspective.

So it turns out about three years ago there was a really high-profile murder at our house. I don't want to docks myself because it's a small town, but it was on a very well-known. known episode of a true crime show turns out the wife killed the husband shot him like 11 times ended up dragging him into the basement

and like burying him in concrete down there yeah before where they did that is still kind of fucked up just in case you're curious and like I'm not a super person, stichist or otherwise but a lot of our family and co-workers and stuff think we're kind of nuts

for going with the house anyway but hey We're millennials and how the fuck else are we going to buy us. So just wanted to know your perspective. Should I be looking out for ghostesses? Let me know. Love the pod. Love you. Take care.

This is awesome. The economy is so bad. I'm wondering how they afforded a house. The economy is so bad that to be in your 30s, the only way you can afford a home is to get to Menendez house. There was a brutal murder, not just a run-of-the-mill slang. That doesn't even knock. It's down 20K off the asking price.

You need to have an episode of a Netflix series dedicated to your home. You need a gruesome murder where also, like, it involves the foundation of your home. She buried him in concrete in the basement. This bitch went to fucking Home Depot and got the quick, quick dry cement, quick mix cement. I'm like gruesome slaying and home burial. That's pretty good. Are there any murder suicides in the neighborhood? Maybe we could get a better deal here.

11 shots. That bitch was pissed. You know what I'm saying? Hey, a six shooter. 11's crazy. 11's crazy. And then drag them. Have you ever just tried to pick up a drunk friend?

Yeah, that's a good point. That's like my mom-sized lady dragging that dude down to fucking stairs. She could have been a WMBA small forward size. Oh, can I tell you a story that happened in Baltimore just like this? Yeah, yeah. This is also true. You can look this up. I even have a link in my phone to it.

Yeah. Let's see, five, six, December. I'm working, I get a job at UPS. Shout out the UPS, Baltimore Hub, Primary One, Joe Avenue. The first job I get is a holiday helper, driver's helper on Christmas. I'm living in Arbutus on Elm Road, and the driver is picking me up at my house.

All I got to do is walk out onto my porch, and here comes my UPS ride. He's picking me up after next day airs. next day air's got to be out by 9 a.m. Then he's picking me up on my porch. And we're going 9 to basically 9 because it's how they see it. Every, you and all those houses, right? So UPS's rule at that time when I was working was you knock on the door.

If no one answers, you take that package, you put it out of sight, out of weather. All right. So I'm knocking on this house in Arbutus. I'm knocking on the door. And I can clearly hear people in there, but they're not answering. Knock and knocking, not answered. You know, we're hustling. He's like, what's going on?

I'm like, they're in there, but they're not answering. He's like, all right, go around back, leave it out back. So I go out back, I put it on their little deck out of sight out of weather. And I knock back there again. And I can hear shit going on in the basement. Yeah. So we leave and we do our whole day. When we get back to the warehouse that night, one of the supervisors comes up to me,

he's like, how about that weirdo on your route today, huh? And I'm like, what, you know, we're in Baltimore, like, which one? Yeah, of course. Every block. Of course. And he goes, the guy that murdered to people. And I was like, what? That house that I'm knocking on?

this guy it's in it's in there too uh he owed money to people in carroll county okay he and we're talking like under two thousand dollars oh man maybe even under a grand yeah he drives out to patapsco state park meets these two guys kills him while he's there okay puts him in his car takes him to his house what he didn't know is one of the dudes had just had a baby and the baby's in the car, baby was fine, baby was fine. But the reason that the police were called is because the mother was like, hey, my boyfriend went here to meet this guy because of this. And this is where he lives.

So they go to the car, baby's fine, and they go to that guy's fucking house. Listen, while I'm knocking on this motherfucker's door, he is bearing both those bodies in his fucking basement. What? stop on my life here. You're like, sir, your shovel, sir, your meat cleaver from UPS. I think I got to hear. Hailthorpe man convicted of murdering two Carroll men after $225 drug death,

blamed in killings. A Hailthorpe man accused of killing two Carroll County men over a $225 drug debt and burying them in his basement in 1994. And I'm out there. UPS! was convicted on two counts of murder in Carroll County Circuit Court. Jesus Christ. This was in 2018, too.

Wow. Wow. So he hit a water pipe and busted everything. So the bodies are floating. So he can't hide them now. Incredible. So we're like, do we need to go to court? They're like, no, man.

This is like Detective 101. This is the guy, blah, they go there. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me right now? I'm hearing them down there. And I'm like, I hear him. Bang, bang, bang, man. Dude. And here's the other thing about that.

I had no idea was that. Yeah. I mean, that's nothing. Yeah. He's the type of piece of shit that had cars sitting on the yard. You could have sold to my buddy Shannon at the junkyard in Baltimore for $200 and paid that debt. This is easier. He went and killed a double murder.

Jesus Christ. A double murder. Wow. Yeah, the Reaper is always around you. So I wonder what that house goes for. Oh, yeah. That's a beauty. I wonder what that house.

Because you're right. It's not just like, yeah, this old. person passed away right or even brutal even like a one like a like an intruder gets shot sure self-defense it's not even like or even a simple murder like it's not even like a simple murder it's like a fucked up crazy murder and that's a very good because here's the thing if we're talking in medieval times you probably kill a guy and then you're like nice he's got an awesome shack. I'm going to kill him to... The economy's gotten so bad that people need shelter so much that they're like,

nice, someone was brutally killed. I can afford to take their rancher. Like, we've gotten so poor that, like, energy... Like, that's the thing, talking about vibes and energy. That's the level of, like, comfort we were at, where we've gotten to, like, psychology, and then above psychology and psychiatry, we've gotten to, like, mystical vibes and stuff. people are so impoverished they're like I don't give a fuck how many kids were killed here

we'll take it yeah I mean if we're talking about like an Epstein like I wonder what Epstein's house is going to go for I wonder what didn't somebody buy Little St. James Elders that's his house? That's the island I don't even know

little St. James is the island yeah yeah I just thought it was called Epstein's Island I didn't know a child Island interesting it was purchased by J.P. Morgan Securities in 2020 Wow just a cool

company that doesn't do any evil. Probably nobody on J.P. Morgan's board ever went to the island. Yeah, I wonder why they bought it. They're like, ooh, that's a good. Oh, I remember those beaches. Those are nice. That's fucking. Anyway, um, this is a great question. Would I live there? Mm-hmm. I don't know. That's fucking, like, I do unfortunately. The older I get, the more I believe in, like, energies and like things. Now, I would need to know specific. Right. Because if this is like a crime of passion, but if there's like real evil involved here. Right. If this guy was a piece of shit, what if he's the piece of shit and she finally had enough? Right, right, right, right. Right. I agree. There's something like, was he an abuser? She's vindicated.

Did he like do anything horrible? Was he cheating? Like cheating doesn't obviously, you know, excuse murdering. But it's like, is this guy a complete piece of shit? Now, if it was the kind of thing where it's like, a happy normal couple moved in here and six months. Much later, the wife is fucking taking a shotgun to his head and no one knows what happened. I might skip that one. I would literally need to look into this and know what happened. Hold on. You're by realtor. At what point do you tell me this?

Right. I'm like, well. Are you telling me right in or are we in the tour now? I think what happens is you like, I think what happens is you come in, you're like, well, this is a great. Listen, as you can see, the tree-line streets, it's beautiful. The school up, the school up the bus. block actually has just gotten a huge grant and they're building new portable classrooms and they have a they're really investing in their theater program if you have a child that's a

performer uh these beautiful windows uh they're actually recently replaced um you're gonna love this the this carpet all new now there were some reasons that had to get replaced but Can you take stuff in the basement real quick? The basement right now is actually there was some damage to the basement. There was, I mean, there's a couple things. There's some mold. Oh, okay. There's some brains and some, and the viscera of a murdered husband.

But it's really like we're clearing out the mold. Wait, you said something there? I said there's mold and there's a little bit of brain matter and viscera from a murdered. From a murdered man. And it's unclear if it was manslaughter. slaughter or murder but really

let me tell you this the basement needed a you coat of pain anyway and you know what after excavating the body

you actually gained three feet of extra storage space so actually what was what was a six foot barrel I mean you'd have to crouch

now we're talking you have nine feet I mean this is a you gained a whole more you have usable ceilings I mean you can put a In fact, 10 feet, I think you could put a basketball hoop down there if you really wanted to.

I think that's how I would get me. It's a great pitch, bro. I'm putting it. I'm putting an offer in. Would you, eldest, would you live in this place? I'm kind of with you on the energy thing, but every man has this price. That's his price. Absolutely. For the right price, I think I would. Yeah. I think I would. So he's the guy that's going to outbid me because I care if it has morals. And he's like, of course. Of course. So I think like, I would personally love to learn. learn as many details as possible, just so I'm not, I'm never like in the basement doing laundry and like guessing, like, how did she kill him? What happened? Yeah. But I feel like if I know it

as clinically and through as through as possible, I can live with myself if I save like 50 grand on the house or something. Fifty. 50. Oh, 50. Oh, okay. Okay. So you know, whatever it is. I mean, yeah, I think so. I, my, now what if you live there and everything's actually great? And then like three months in, you're like, kill you. Or you wake up and your wife is standing over you. Well, that is the only reason I would pause because I don't really, I don't really believe in like the supernatural shit per se. But whether or not the energy is like real,

I believe just knowing that could drive a man mad. Right. And it's like whether it's some occult shit or whether it's like, you just go crazy because you know, I do believe that could be a very legitimate risk. So that's the only thing that would give me pause. Interesting. You're weak-minded.

Can I ask this question? Yeah. What if you buy the house and you'd find out that later? I think you could probably get out of that contract. If you wanted to, would you? I would guess. I would, yeah, I think, well, first of all. What if you love the house?

And then you find out some man was burly marred. I think you can probably sue for some amount of money. Like, I'd need to get the discount. Get a better deal. I need to get the brutal murder discount. There's no way I'm not getting that. The brutal murder discount. At a minimum, I would do that for sure.

But I think what we are seeing here is that the economy in the world for most people is so bad. We have regressed maybe a couple hundred years. Because I bet you in the 1800s no one gave a fuck. You know what I mean? Well, that lady might not have been able to afford the mortgage and killed him so she can go to prison. You know what I mean? Because the housing market's so bad. You know what I mean?

She's got a place to go. Yeah, maybe she wanted to, she's been watching oranges the new black. She wanted a girlfriend late in life. Who knows? But that's a great question. This guy does not seem to give a fuck. And I would say, hey, man, if you don't, if it doesn't bother you, keep rocking. That's it.

Keep rocking. Good for you, brother. It would be nice if people could afford homes, you know, not without people being gruesomely killed in them. But, you know, now we're getting too greedy. Yeah. That's what home shopping is all about. Sure.

The opportunity cost of, you know, what's it worth to you? Ryan, could you lose that, can? Oh, yes. Oh, sorry. No, no, it's not. No, you're good. Put it on the ground or behind that plan or something. Oh, and maybe take one of these.

Uh-oh, what time is it? Holy shit. On Halloween? Oh, yeah. We're getting twisted. Hell yeah, Ryan. It's time to keep it twisted, everyone. I'm not for drinking along.

No, you don't have to drink. Now, Ryan's keeping it very twisted right now. He's taking a sip of twisted thing. You saw that, froze. It's my first sip in years of alcohol. Twisted. We just kept it very, very twisted. What's the twisted-ass fucked up motherfucking question of the week, eldest?

Hey, Stavi, Mr. Sula and esteemed guest. a long time stroker, first time comer. I tried to make this call a couple nights ago, actually twice, but I was high off my shit and I kept going over the time limit, so I'll keep it brief. Basically, I'm going on a trip for Halloween

down to L.A. to see one of my friends, with a smaller group of friends, and I kind of don't want to fucking go anymore. For context, we went on another trip to L.A. earlier back in September, and, you know, we're coming down from the S.S.

Bay Area, that's a seven-hour drive to L.A. And we did not do, like, fuck all where we were down there, man. Like, we got high and went to the mall and watched Adventure Time in my friend's apartment, which, you know, if that was here, that's a chill day. Like, I did have fun, but, like, I don't know, man, seven-hour drive there and back. It's just, like, I kind of wish we did more. Like, we didn't do anything except buy shit the whole. time. And so we're setting up this next one to go down to see him for Halloween. And I ask my

friends like, okay, what's the plan? What's the game plan we get down there? And they're like, uh, we might go to a party. We might do this and this and this. And I'm just really scared it's going to be a lot of the same thing, a lot of just sitting around his apartment, just like bullshit and getting high again. And like, I don't know. I don't know. Is that like fucked up to pull out because the trip is in a couple weeks and I don't want to be the guy to pull out last minute and kind of like fuck up the whole

like how the money is being like spread around I mean this will already be out by the time I don't know just I love your advice stop big let's assume he means on Halloween weekend this weekend coming up

yeah big up to you my guy and well okay I would say that's not that twisted of us you could have picked a more twisted question. Not very twisted at all, some might say. Kind of a boring question, others might say. But, you know, his guy is

maybe the problem is his friends don't keep it twisted enough for him. This is a twisted guy that wants to have a good time on Halloween. He knows it's slutty these days. He doesn't live in a, he doesn't live in an idyllic 1978 Baltimore County where hits are still

hidden away and all you can do is, you know, destroy the property of the nerd that lives two doors away. He lives in modern times where you want to, if you're going to take a seven hour drive, you want to have a good time, maybe see some tits, maybe see a slutty Harley Quinn or something like that.

Now, my big issue, though, here is seven hours is a lot of time, right? That's number one. So I get that. But also, do you like your friends? that's my biggest issue right because like you know I would before I moved to New York now granted four hours is easier than seven hours but also it was a megabus ride

you know so maybe I have if it was seven I still would probably come visit you but it's not like we did that much stuff yeah I mean a lot of our trips were like if now seven hours is the only reason I'm going to maybe give him the benefit for the doubt but like that's not like a fine little weekend to me with a totally good friend I mean that's all I want to do I don't want to make I don't want to go do

Totally. And when you think about like, okay, I was on a megabus, but it was like a fucking half hour to get to get from my house to the megabus in Baltimore and then from fucking midtown to Brooklyn to, you know what I mean? Like it's probably when you're broke going from Baltimore to New York was probably about a six hour all in, you know, fucking journey. You could argue being in your own car is actually more comfortable, right? So like when you go visit your friends, you just. sometimes you bullshit, right? And also, you're not, no one's forcing you to not do shit. Like, you're not making any fucking plans either. That's what I was going to say. Come with plans. Come with plans. I'll tell you what, right now, Los Angeles, for all of its, you know, blemishes and

everything else, it is a kick-ass Halloween city. Oh, yeah. I can't get over. L.A. is a great visit town. L.A. is a great, for Halloween, too. So if you go to Boys Town, Santa Monica Boulevard. You get sucked off. From Sam, you can get sucked up.

From San Francisco. to like La Siena, I believe it is. They shut the whole street down and it's got, you know, big band, pink play at one end and some K-rock at the other or whatever. And it's just wall-to-wall people walking through there. And it's, it's bars, bars, bars. It's the fright nights that you're just garred? Yeah, those are great. That sounds fucking awesome.

There's a haunted hay ride. I just told my daughter about this, too. There's a great haunted hay ride at the L.A. Zoo. I went with two friends a few years back. It was a while more than that. And it's pretty cool because it's old, you know, cages that are open. And you just take this little hayride and you look into each one and it's creepy and crazy. That's cool.

Yeah, yeah. People come up and touch you and shit. Well, this fucking guy comes up and is touching us. But he's dressed in like regular clothes. Okay, this is a true story. You're at the haunted hayride. At the L.A. Zoo. And there's like, you know, maybe 10 people on the wagon all together.

and they'll come up dressed up and play with you and shit. But this guy's in like jorts. You know what I mean? This dude's touching us and shit. We're like, and so we don't know is that part of the scary because he looks normal or whatever. And the guy driving the tractor. So finally I'm like, yo, who the fuck's this guy? He's like, what the fuck?

And he gets on the walkie talk. He's like, we've got a problem. And we're like, what the fuck's going on? And this guy hears it and he starts running ahead of us. We're like, what the fuck? He goes, guys, listen, that guy is not part of this. I don't know who he is. Some guy was just touching you.

A rando. He's like, we're going to wait here. And he would disappear and come back and stuff. That's crazy. And so we wait and then they give us so they all clear. And when we're going down, he's being arrested in one of the suit cages. They got a spotlight on. He's in there going to hack like just a lunatic.

He was just a lunatic dude. That would have been a good like break the fourth wall, like actual scare where it's like, oh, he's a sex offender. I'm arresting a sex offender. Yeah, show up with some plans. You've got plenty of things to do in L.A. So if you want to do something, do it. But also, I wouldn't rely on anyone to make plans for you if you're specific about what you want to do.

Yeah. Like, I think you could get, it's a town where you could keep it very nice and twisted in Los Angeles. And yeah, it's either, it doesn't. That Halloween's twisted. What would you want? Like, what do you want your friends to do? You know what I mean? Like, that seems to be their vibe.

you seem to be the odd man out everyone else is happy to make this trip like this and you're pissed off so it's not a problem if you don't want to go but also what's the issue do you not want to see your friends or do you not want to do this bullshit um because yeah come with some plans and look at the very least here's what you could do pick up a six pack of some ice cold not even a six pack you got a whole group of friends maybe the game day pack of some ice cold brewed with real ice tea 5% per

volume, twisted teas and that's a party in a can my friend. That's a road trip in a can. I can't drink it while driving. Yeah, the peach is incredible. The flavors are great and yeah, just keep it twisted, man. Go to Boys Town

you know, engage in some anonymous gay sex if you like. If you're a homosexual man, that's always, he's going from San Francisco. go to L.A., so I guess he's probably got those options there, too. Yeah. You know, but look, maybe you're a heterosexual man. It's going to be a little harder to fuck on Halloween, but not that hard.

It's a pretty fuck forward holiday. So, yeah, talk to your friends, make some plans, but also take the temperature. He might make these plans, and they're like, we don't want to do that. We're going to fucking hang out on Halloween. It's, I miss my friends. I just want to chill with them. Check in with them. see if it's a matter of being lazy or not,

maybe you're just not, maybe this trip is not your speed and, yeah, who gives a fuck? Great work, Elders. A rousing call with a lot of discussion. Holiday edition. You couldn't have done, I mean, the other, the one we did before

was the perfect twisted calls. It was about a murder. That was very twisted. You could argue that woman kept it very, way too twisted. Well, I don't know. They might not want murder. I guess that's true.

I guess that's true. You know, okay, okay. But there probably was a middle ground. Let's see what else you got. I can't wait for the next question to immediately be more twisted. Hi, Savvy. So I just wanted some advice because I got an ex-girlfriend who has been,

we live in the same duplex. So she lives on the first floor. I live on the second and third floor. and after we broke up she has been like it's been a month now of just non-stop like drama and stuff

and not even like I'm engaging in this she keeps sending she she got a ring camera like a month ago and she would keep sending like videos of me

leaving and entering my home to people like a anytime I'm real over she is like sending videos of that to people and

um she's just like constantly watching me and i know she it well not constantly but like i hear she will tell people oh yeah i've been i've been looking at him leaving entering uh and again this it's for like a month of this and uh it's been really stressful for me because i'm just trying to get as far away from her as possible um she keeps i keep hearing from friends like some of Some are, like, we're both friends with coming up. Sorry. Or just my friends. Like, some of, they're my friends from, like, high school.

They'll be like, yes, you see contact with me, and she's talking all this shit about you and saying that, like, oh, you did this, that, which is not true. And, yeah, she's just, it's been really stressful for me to be in my house. And, yeah, I just wanted to if you have any advice on what to do because I feel very stuck in this situation. situation. And again, she will just, she will not leave me alone. So yeah, anyways, thank you. Goodbye. Yeah. She is keeping it twisted, too twisted. Again, not as twisted as murder. But, I mean, this, this, he's kind of leaving out a lot of important details, which is like, how locked in are you to this living situation?

Yes. Because, I mean, that's what it all comes down to. I mean, we can talk about, wanting distance and wanting to move on and all the drama, but it's like you live one floor above her. Like that's not, and like you have the same entrance to the house. You have the same address. Your roommates. With different units. Like there's no sense of normalcy until you leave or she leaves.

I don't know what else to tell you, bro. Like literally that is the fundamental issue here, right? Because, yeah, we've all had, there's been, you know, everyone has had a breakup that has gone weird, right? Like a little, that's just like someone is, it might be you. You know, you might act weird. They might act weird. But, you know, at the very least, people have a hard time moving on.

What's going to make it impossible is living in the same domicile. Even though you are one, even though you get the two floors up, that you're still fucking in the same house. You walk right by the door. She obviously sees you. often do you bump into her? I mean, maybe there's, maybe there's different entrances, but still, it's like the main entrance, she has access to your ring camera, so you're not separate enough. And so I don't even know that it's worth getting into the other stuff

until we say, like, move, leave. Does he have any, there's no other context on that, is there, Elders? Not really. You know what else he could do? He could get word out that he's moving. See, if that gets her interested in moving, then let her move and then be like, psych, she's out of there. Like she wants to fuck him over by moving before him? No, I think she's stalking. So I feel like if he says he's moving, she'll probably be like, well, what's the point of me being here anymore? He's not here anymore. There goes my, that seems to be like a lifeline for some people. You know what I mean? Like, that's her, that's her, remember back in the day when all the ladies will watch

the soaps, that's her stories. Right, right, right, right. This is her day. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to watch him go by see who he's with tall to if he says hey i'm just going to remove myself from this equation i'm out of here i wonder if she won't be like what the fuck am i doing here still though she knows where you live you know i would say right there i say fresh start don't engage her i agree i agree don't engage her in any like uh mind games you know what i mean just like fresh start she has no access to where you fucking live doesn't know your address that's the fuck out of just get out that is the best solution do you think he could ignore his way out of this and just like, because, because this is, it doesn't sound like she's sending him

videos of himself. Sounds like she's like bitching to their mutuals or something, right? Yes, what he said. And it's like, the whole point is to poison the friend group. And like, I think he could ignore. The thing that makes it hard to ignore is that she lives underneath you. Like, that's my thing is like, and by the way, this will affect her too. When she, he's not there. When the constant reminder is not there. It's going to actually, she might be insane. She is five times more insane with him living above him, right? Like, I'm not going to, I'm not saying this woman will be reasonable as soon as he moves, but she, like, she definitely won't while you're still living there. Like, that's the

hard thing with this question. It's like, you just have to leave. The only way to find out is to go. Like, people who like stay with an ex and they're like, well, it would be really expensive. but it's like, yeah, but you're paying the cost every fucking day to the point where it's like it's worth borrowing money from a trusted friend to break a lease or something instead of like staying, if you at all can, sometimes you have to think about the like psychological damage you do staying in these fucked up situations.

And I don't know, I think you got to move. I mean, if there's more to it, I guess. But he didn't say, he didn't even say like, I know I should move, but it's just expensive. or he didn't say when his lease is up. If we had heard any of that, he has no awareness of his living situation being an issue. He didn't bring it up at least.

So that's why I feel like we really have to nail him on this. This is the number one problem. Everyone has a crazy ex. Sometimes you're the crazy ex, whatever. Not everyone stays in the same roommates with him. And he's saying like, we live in a dude, like, oh, she has the first floor. Like, he live in the same. You're roommates.

I don't care what the fuck you say. Like, that's not... It would be weird to even be in the same building as this. Yes, I agree. Let alone share the same entrance. So, anyway, fuck this guy. Not fucking, but you got to be more aware, brother, about what your main problem is.

What else you got, little L Dunst? Hey, I fan of the show. Watching when Josh Johnson was on. I love what you guys do, and I appreciate you guys taking time to listen to your fans and their issues. Right now, I am in a very crazy situation. My fiancé gave birth to my youngest child on August 17th.

I have a child from a previous relationship who's five years old. His mother decided she wanted to move to Rochester, New Jersey. I live in, or sorry, Rochester, New York. I live in New Jersey. He essentially moved six hours away. My son, who's five years old, chose to live with me. my current situation, which is my fiance, does not like any communication between me and my older son's mother, which puts me in a predicament because I'm not actually against my oldest son's mother.

And I'm trying to navigate the situation as best as I can, but my oldest son's mother is not here. And my fiance is here, and she is stepping up ten full. with my son. My oldest son's mother is not a bad person. She just can't get her shit together. And I was friends with her for a long time throughout our relationship. It was not a bad breakup.

It was very civil. Is it wrong with me to cut communication with her completely to protect the feelings of my fiance who was completely against her? I understand people, are allowed to feel how they feel, and my fiancé is completely against the idea that I have some sort of open communication with my oldest son's mom, but I'm being put in the middle of

a situation that I really don't agree with, but I have to kind of accept to where she is here. He is putting in the time, and she is developing a relationship with my son that his mom's not doing. I don't know how to navigate the situation right now, and I just would like some advice on how I should go about it in this very predicament. You guys are the best. I love the podcast. I love the stand-up. And hopefully you guys hear this.

Interesting. It's an interesting situation. I mean, like, my, and I think you, I mean, you have better insight on this. Like, you know, because you, you know, you have a kid. I was already putting myself in his shoes. Yeah, yeah. What, yeah, what's your,

I'm curious your take immediately. Because I have some thoughts, but you've kind of lived similar situations. Well, my first thoughts always are what's best for the kids. Right. That's what's best for you, the mom, or whoever else comes in after. It's always what's best for the kids. Sounds like cutting your child's mother off means you're not going to get access to that child anymore either. So you're not just cutting her off.

Well, no, though, because from what I understand, it's his kid is, he has custody of his kid with his ex, right? So that is the thing I'm confused about, right? But there's another kid that she has, right? No, no, no, there's another kid with his new fiancé is pregnant, right? Eldis? He's got a child from a previous relationship. But no, no, I know.

That's the one that's living with him now because his wife moved. Did I misunderstand? I thought he had two kids, one with the ex and one with him, but they're both theirs. Yes. He has the five-year-old with the old... With the ex. Yeah. And then he's got this baby with the fiancé. He's got a baby with the fiancé. Oh, so the kid is living with him.

Okay. So my question... Oh, then never mind. I misunderstood. I was thinking, mom's got this one, so you're going to lose access to this kid. It's always best what's kid. Well, hold on, though. That's that kid's mom. That's what I'm saying.

That's that kid's mom. So, no, I am fully against the fiancé's philosophy on, you know, keeping it like this. Um, no, you can't bring anybody else in that's going to alienate because not only are you cutting her off, then you're cutting off this child's access to their mom. I mean, I know there's Facebook and all that shit later, but those early years, I mean, that's important. Like, and, and I know that she says, but that's the kid's mom. Like, I just don't think you fucking fuck with that. I mean, I think we're clearly, he's clearly left stuff out where his, he says, she can't get her shit together

that's clue number one clue number two is like a kid is living with him like I mean you gotta be a mess this is my mom yeah yeah exactly yeah exactly it's like you got to be a mess to like lose to not have any custody

so then my question is like so legally his mom doesn't have to see him at all then she must be a real mess right because you would assume your fiance couldn't say I don't want anything to do with this person because you would assume court order she would have some visitation rights.

So I think we're getting a... This guy's an unreliable narrator a little bit. I think he might be... And he clearly has some affection for his ex. And like... The situation might be worse than he's letting on, right? It might be worse than like,

oh, she just can't get her shit together. Like, any situation... Like, don't you legally have to get some visitation for the parent? No. She doesn't have to see him. Like his mom doesn't necessarily have to see it. Not unless they went to court and she fought for that and wanted that.

And the court said you have it. But here's the beautiful thing. Any parent at any time they want can just fucking leave. I guess they're right. They really can't. They really can't. And a lot of them fucking do. So basically the fiance is like she fucking left you.

She kind of abandoned you with this kid. Like I don't want this person. This person is made. her decision. We're raising the kid. I have no problem. And she's clearly, the nice thing is she clearly has no problem with that. I do feel like we're missing the context of why, because he said his kid chose, which again is a crazy, a five-year-old didn't want his mom. It's a big problem, right? I guess you know what? Now hearing all of it and getting it straight, I would say this. The mother, you don't need to be in contact with her. But what you can say is you can talk to

your son and see your son whenever you'd like he's right here you don't need to be buddies with her and then you put the onus on her to say someone's got a fucking i'd like to see my kid yeah i guess you know what i'm saying we don't need to chit chat back and forth and be bros it can this is my daughter's mother and i we are what we call professional hey i'd like to face time stella great i'd like to see her this whatever yeah that's what you do yeah but if you were non-existent and this person came in and said hey i'm doing all this shit i don't like you being buddy buddy with that lady but i don't think i would i think i would meet halfway on if she wants to be a part of this kid's life she can but you guys don't need to be bros i think that's

fair and i think like but i do think that's my one criticism again not knowing everything the one thing i would say to the new to his fiance is like there has to be some room for this woman being a part of her son's life even if she's a fuck up even if whatever it's like if she's like if she's she wants to, you kind of have to, I think it's just the right thing to do to let a parent have some part in their kid's life. Again, unless there's more context we're missing, like, did she fucking nod off on, on fucking heroin, leave the kid in a hot car for nine hours? Or drinking and driving with the kid in the car. Maybe the fiance has a point, right? But if it's just, look, she's just kind of a fuck up, she knew the kid would be better off with him than with her.

she's moving to a cheaper place to kind of hopefully she can figure her shit out. If she gets her shit sort of together and wants to be a part of the kid's life, you kind of have to, you kind of have to fucking let her. No doubt. And so that's, but then how does he navigate it? Like,

it's not the kind of thing where you can draw this hard line with his fiance, because he also has a kid with her. So he can't, he is in a fucked up place because what if she says, I don't care, I don't want this bitch in my life at all. Then you're really, really fucked. And then it's like

I don't know what I would do if she drew that hard line. I'm going to hope that's not the case and I would hope that if anything you just advocate for not your ex but for your kid and say look I understand everything you're saying and you have this incredible relationship with him but he deserves some relationship with his mom

and we have to figure that out. And it's like we can put some stipulations on it, like you said, I don't have to be buddy, buddy with her. And I think that's true. You have to show that you're at least hearing her and saying, like, fine, because she also might be... He might also be kicking her a little bit of money that's pissing her off, too. You never know what really is going on, yes. And my hunch is it's a little bit of pragmatism, and it's a little bit of... He's talking about this person in some pretty glowing terms given the situation. Like, he's really nice to her. And then, like, we've never heard this, uh,

perspective on this about someone's ex who can't get her shit together it's always like this fucking bitch fucked my son's life up this guy's like hey I mean imagine

how good the pussy war you know I mean that's what that's Ackham's razor what it all comes back to same with the shit the girl living downstairs yeah yeah

it's like the best I want to move away from it who fucks better than you girl or the old girl who's insane and had to move to Rochester

I know where my money is, right? So there might, so I think she probably has a legitimate, like, there's something weird about them, you know what I mean? Like, it might be the kind of relationship where if he wasn't in a serious name to somebody else, he would just fuck her. And it wouldn't mean anything. They're just friends who, like, they had this history, but they're like, they fall into that weird, like, you know, maybe they have a J-Lo Ben Affleck thing going where they, they just have a natural chemistry they fall into, whatever. But, so you have to, whatever your fiance's, like, fears or what she doesn't want to happen you have to show that you are hearing her out and you're

like look I will not have any day-to-day contact with this woman it will be strictly organizing like you can visit him or you can even you know what's her family situation is there a family go-between you can have whatever it is I think you have to do that but short of that I think you listen to your fiance but I just don't think like it would morally you can, even if someone's a piece of shit, if they're making some kind of effort to see their kid, you don't have to let them do it every day.

You can't just drop in whenever, but like, you know, you should, in a perfect world, this kid gets to have his biological and his stepmom in his life, right? Like, that would be ideal. And so you just have to have room in whatever understanding

you have between your fiancé and yourself that that is a possibility. But it's a deli, I mean, I'm not going to lie, is a delicate thing to thread. You just have to make her feel like she's being heard, but also, you know, and making it clear it's not about this X, it's about the kid. Yeah, and that she's safe with you and everything. Everything's good.

This lady's not a threat to our relationship, to my shot, none of it. Yeah, maybe set a date, Chief. Maybe let's drop the fiancé title and let's move on the wife. There you go, bro. That might do wonders for this fucking discussion. LD, you got something fun for us to go out on Little Buddy? Hello, Stav and Eldis. It's been a question.

This is a request. The Caleb Heron episode just popped up in my YouTube feed. And Stav is looking quite huggable in his bear suit. And I just think we need more Stav. dressed up as a lovable animal. You know, it doesn't matter. It could be Halloween

coming up, but really any time of year. Wow. Brings me and I'm sure others, a lot of joy. It's not a sexual thing. I mean, it could be for some people. I don't know. You know. There's a little...

Yeah, just kind of made my evening. To his voice. So, it was a late night work evening. So, yeah, more to make the chaos of the world more bearable. Farewell.

Okay. Who the fuck is this? Is this like gay Michael Longfellow? Did Longfellow's gay alter ego call in? Who's a chubby chaser? And you have a bear outfit on. I do, I do. He is a bear, Winnie the Pooh is a bear.

Look, I'm Winnie the Pooh-coated. I have some, is an inability to get away from delicious treats, walking around, you know, without pants on. Um, I think I have, you know, I have the body type. Uh, but you know what? Maybe we should do more little costumes. It's all, it is fun when we just drop some. And we have some very fun stuff planned for Thanksgiving and, uh, Christmas. And Halloween this Thursday. Oh, that's right. The, on actual Halloween, we, we, we, we actually are doubling down on Baltimore. Oh, yeah. We have Tommy Simbazos on the Patreon. And it is a, that one is Star Wars theme. That's our, that's your little hint.

Oh, yeah. That's your little. That's your little. hint to the listeners at home. But yeah, we have some fun stuff. But I do, honestly, I do feel great in one of these. The onesie costumes are really awesome. This is the most comfortable. I think I've ever been, I've been podcasting for about 15 years. I think this is the high point right here. Well, this is stuff because I just really want to take a nap in this. It's been really hard to like stay on and engage because I'm like, it's a little, because the only problem is a little warmer than I'd like. It's a little warm. But that also lulls you to sleep where I'm like, I just, like, if I had, like, a giant woman come and, like, pick me up and, you know, swaddle me and then put me in a crib, now we're talking. Now we're really talking.

But thanks, man. Well, hopefully you're getting, you're enjoying this in a non-horny way. And I hope some other people are enjoying it in a horny way. But this has been a wonderful Halloween. Ryan, thank you, brother. Thank you, dude. Guys, watch. Thank you enough. the special live and alive on YouTube right now we have we'll link to it all that kind of good

stuff have a good Halloween and maybe drop us your theories on when Halloween became slutty unfortunately we have recorded a lot so you won't you'll we'll pick this discussion up in late December because for a quirk of the schedule this is the one time we're recording like and releasing it days later we have stuff in the can but I do want to pick up when did Halloween become slutty. So watch out, 2026. We're going to really get, we're going to really crack into that. Just gave up, just gave up making a point because you didn't know which buttons to press.

Maybe I'll save some for next year. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just go ahead and record next year's Halloween right now. If you guys do McDonald's characters next year, I will come back for that. We should do McDonald's. We should do all fast food.

Halloween, both episodes. Thank you, Ryan. We appreciate you being here. And go watch the special guys. And we also, actually, we have, I think we've announced our tour, haven't we? By to my Monday? Yeah, I think so. Okay.

We'll cut this into the beginning, actually. But do we have ads to do? Let's talk off camera. All right, whatever. Fuck you guys. The episode's over. There's a tour. Hopefully you heard about it in the beginning.

of the episode, but we'll talk to you later. Bye-bye.