Stavvy's World - #157 - Sydnee Washington and Dewayne Perkins

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

Sydnee Perkins and Dewayne Perkins join the pod to discuss their roommate-guarantor relationship, the requisite Stavvy's World check-in on Sydnee's life, Dewayne's gay promotion from sandwich artist to interior designer at Potbelly's, Murphy Lee of the St. Lunatics having strong stud energy, and much more. Sydnee, Dewayne and Stav help callers including a man whose wife is offended that his trans brother asked him but not her if he would donate his sperm so he could have a baby, and a woman who's wondering if she should tell her boyfriend that everyone in town hates him.Check out Sydnee Washington's podcast MESS:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mess-with-sydnee-washington-marie-faustin/id1160606309https://open.spotify.com/show/4vCgiF2E6Wo35ZkzcoedC3Follow Sydnee Washington on social media:https://www.instagram.com/justsydbw/https://twitter.com/Justsydnychttps://www.tiktok.com/@justsydbw20Watch Dewayne Perkins's movie The Blackening: https://www.theblackening.movie/Follow Dewayne Perkins on social media:https://www.dewayneperkins.com/https://www.instagram.com/dewaynekperkins/https://twitter.com/DewaynePerkinshttps://www.facebook.com/thedewayneperkins/Thank you to our sponsors! Aura Frames - https://auraframes.com/stavvy use code STAVVY☎️ Have a question for a regular episode? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

No, we're doing that. Oh, pa. Welcome, everybody, to Stobby's World. 9-04-800-staff. Call in. We'll solve your problems. Returning, favorite, Sydney, Washington is here

with her guarantor Dwayne Perkins. It's funny when I say it. When you say it's good, we're celebrating. You have an apartment. You live in a... Immediately.

He's going to wait. He was like, yes, I'll bring you away. I'm chomping at the bit to get into this. We love tracking your life. You're in a great place. You're glowing. You look incredible. Thank you.

Fully gay again, I think. Right? You've really improved. Back at it. And I have good credit. Yeah. It's so nice. I told you this over text.

Do not listen to him. It's so nice. I told you this over text. It's so nice you finally have a man in your life. We have a beautiful Labger marriage. All I needed was a gay man to get me right You get me straight Dinner for her last night

You did cook dinner for me Wow, that's beautiful I love this I love to hear this Yeah, you're still straight right I'm still straight Still straight Still straight for the time being

We'll see what happens For now I'm open Recession indicator when Stav is gay Yeah Things are tough Yeah, yeah. No, that's clearly, that's like your Christ.

You being straight at all means, oh, sit, something's wrong. It's gone down here. Things are going really bad. Rock bottom. Honestly, I could see how next year it was going to be. Like, because it happened two years ago, I could just tell everything was going to get worse after that. Not just me, but the whole, like, world just fell with me. Of course.

I didn't feel alone with the decision. You're a prophet. It wasn't even, yeah. A profit. It wasn't even your choice. It wasn't. You were sort of, yeah, you were the canary and the coal mine. Oh, my God.

When you're, a philosopher. When you're dating men, the world's going bad. Is your going bad? So I guess, actually, by that logic, we should be back any minute now. Yo, I swear to you, there is some days where I'm like, so if I just lose everything, do I just start dating a man again? I don't know. I don't know. I've asked Dwayne, and he doesn't want no parts.

This is a nice middle ground that you found You guys are in a nice, like lavender marriage That's a nice term Is that what people used to do? Kind of a double beard situation A gay guy and a lesbian would live together Yeah Yeah

That was good If they could figure that out, that was good Yeah, it's like you need care and love Sure, sure, sure And you can get sex outside Yeah, exactly Yeah, we have a sexless home Of course

For now Oh, we're going double celibacy? No, I mean, I, you, have you hooked up in the house before? Yes. Come on, dude. Don't disrespect, Wayne. While I was there, the walls are thin. I just want to say that.

Hey, listen, me and L. I've heard L is fucking my old, my. Yeah. It was just once. Okay, one. Yeah. And I think I've had sex while you're there. Maybe not.

Maybe not. I don't think so. You would have hurt me. That's the final level of roommate intimacy, knowing the BPMs that somebody fucks, that your friend fucks at. I can still, I can close my eyes and hear Eldis's stroke from the other room. Yo, pause. Wow. Now, my name is it? Macaroni in the butt.

No, it's more the grunts. It's more the creaking of the IKEA bed. It's more, it's definitely. The picture frames are falling off the walls. Damn, are you fucking like a laid-all husband? What's going on? I love effort. Good for you.

I'll just give you a feverish 92 seconds. And then he'll need a real rest. You hear him gasping for air. Like a song with no bread. Yeah. Yeah, it's like somebody who's performing a studio version even though it's way too hard live. That's having sex.

Just a lot of pointing the mic out. Your turn. You know the words. You know how this goes. You get on top. Do I have you done this podcast before? You're feeling very comfortable. Simply a comedian.

I knew he'd fit right in. I love it. Yeah, that is awesome. So how long have you guys been living together? Almost a year. Yeah, because you were there before I came because I'd be back and forth. Okay.

Yeah, let's just get to straight. We're going to say this on the record. On the record. We don't need to be romance. Right. No, right. We, like, he's... We both of you equally don't need each other.

That's for sure. No, no, wait. Dwayne, you said it yesterday. I have the money. They just on paper, they don't trust you. I said it never gave poor. It gave irresponsible. Right, right, right.

Thank you. I agree with that. I agree with that. So, you know, when I initially asked him, he was like, actually, I do want to be bicostal. So I was like, oh, that's perfect. But then you know how bad the system is with trying to get an apartment, all that paper, all the back and forth, all the, for our experiences. Sure, sure, sure. There was a moment where I had to get Dwayne on Zoom with the landlords, right?

And he thought that I was going to be on a Zoom, too. I said, no, no, no, baby. It's your paperwork. that's going to get us into this building. And then he gets on the Zoom. It did not feel like a loose meeting. It was very like, hey, nigga, who are you? Very business, like, very about, you came in a white tank top.

And of course, they're like, yeah, who are you? I didn't know what was going on. I have context. Sure, a landlord meeting is always brutal. It was. A landlord always, like, they forget that you're a human being. They just look at it as like, I need to get my rent paid. I don't give a fuck at all.

But the issue was it was a cause to basically be like, hey, we like saw all your records and stuff. Why do you have so much money? Oh, wow. Really? What do you mean? He said, he said, Google me, baby. I'm on IMDB. You know why?

I think they were just a little suspicious because I was like, I could pay for the whole year right now. Right, right, right. Who are you talking to? Yo, he had me on speaker in the background. I said, oh, we're not getting this. We're not getting it, baby. We're just because to walk away, gracefully. Listen, I know how that goes.

When I was looking at apartments, I had, like, multiple brokers be like, you can afford this place, right? Because I just came looking exactly like this. I'm not going to, you know, put, what am I going to put on a fucking suit to look at it? I'm looking exactly like this. I'm sitting biking over in a Hawaiian shirt and some athlete leisure, you know? And it's like, yeah, I can afford this incredibly expensive apartment. Are the bank statements not enough?

Yeah. What do you want me to look like? Yeah. But the craziest thing is, is that the apartment was so far in Flatbush that it was like, what y'all are charging? You should be ashamed. Like, we're supposed to be in that neighborhood. And then they're looking at us. Well, looking at him.

Like, so why do you want to be here? He's like, I own another property, sir, in another state. What's up? Right, right. I'm sorry, I put your business on there. I think that's where it came to me being like, landlord to landlord. He did. He did.

And then, yeah, they're expression to Booley chains. They're like, oh, brother. Brother in arms. I know what we're doing. He put his hat on. He's like, tipped it. Now, you know. Yeah, good day, sir.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, I think that, well, we've been friends for a long time, and that moment definitely solidified it. It's because, you know, you don't know what a friend is going to do with your paperwork. You don't know if they're going to be a good. roommate and so I friendship means everything to me and I just wanted to make sure everything was smooth you know and I'm not good with paperwork and I'm not good with lying so it was it was rough yeah but you figured it out Duane a very brave man you know going into this going into this

some might say naive well I'm just saying maybe there's a reason it's so hard for you to get approved for all these things and you know I realize that after the fan The system makes it hard. Let's get into it. No, because I've been working, I don't want to, over 35 years, over 35 years. And because I grew up in a neighborhood and a family that, oh, yeah, we didn't have money like that. As soon as I got money, I said, let's finish it. Time out.

You can keep working for, what time, what age did you start working? Oh, right away. Yeah. Right of the womb. Child labor, okay. Yeah. I was babysitting babies when I was the baby. I've been doing this.

And I think that makes it worse if you've been working for that long and still I don't think that's helping. There was a moment where I was getting my paperwork together and I said, well, assets, my titty's.

10,000 years. Big investment. I will not this fucking water. I will permit have buying you. He said, I think they're holding up well But there's some depreciation.

That's all I'm saying. That's that account for inflation. You know, I'm not you had that. You always say we're making jokes about you. I'm not even going to do it because we can see you. So I'm not going to do you like you're trying to do me right now. I'm just trying to help you get your books in order something. That's it.

Oh, I didn't know you were even counting. Yeah, exactly. My man. I've learned something about balancing the books. That's good, though. And I want to say, just on the record. and I am staunchly in favor of fake titties. That's one of my big, that's one of my big passion projects, you know?

Really? Really? Well, I just want to let you know because of the economy, titty's the value has gone down. Nobody is caring about titty. You think so? Because we, because like look at, look at Sydney, Sweeney, the other Sydney, right?

Of course. The two sidneys. No, that's a lot. Big old roly-poly is just like bouncing, like, supple. Pretty sick tits, yeah, yeah. She's also, well, talented, what was, or talented still. But she was having to sell her bathwater. That was an interesting move, yeah.

Titties are down. That's the thing. I hate to say that. I don't know if it was a have to. I think her tities are up. That's why she can't sell her bath water. No. No, no, because if, say for when Holly Berry is at her peak,

peak, I'm talking about when titty's valued. Didn't she get like how much millions of dollars? Swordfish, for swordfish. For swordfish. She was in there for like, what, 20 minutes? That's because she didn't show her tities. No, she did show her. She didn't show her tities in that.

But up until then. Right, right, right, right, right. So that was like a reveal of the teeth. Absolutely. That was more, that was market, that was market manipulation on Holly Berry's part. Whereas Sidney Sweeney has been showing it in any. A euphoria and everything So it was like

Hey, girl, we didn't see that So what else you got? But I think I actually do think Tits are back actually I agree I think we're in a It's the way

When Baggy Pants came back Big Tits came back It used to be a slim jeans Big Ass era Yes And I do think we have now moved on to

Big Pants Yes, it's the balance I think so Because you can't see A fat ass and baggy pants But you can see big tits You gotta set them tits Yeah exactly

Exactly Well, I think it's just moving towards fascism, you know, soon everything is going to be covered. I, this is a big problem for me because people have said that asses are more left, identify as left-leaning, but big tits are more of a conservative thing. And that pisses me off because I'm a staunch leftist who loves huge tits. And I don't, I don't necessarily agree with that. I don't either. I think that ass is more conservative because you put it in the hole when you're trying to avoid. a pre-marital sex.

Oh, interesting. The gay man is speaking. By pure functional reasons. Yeah, yeah. Not aesthetic. I was thinking aesthetic. Oh. You're saying it's kind of like

when a Christian girl's like, well, I'm still a virgin. I get my ass fuck, which is maybe the craziest logic in the world. You know? Well, is it? Because sex is made for reproduction. Right.

So if you are not reproducing, Right. Then that's not of God. Right, right, right. So they say. So they say. And that's why they don't like gay people because it's always in a booty. Right, right, right.

Always. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we get our periods. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

We, you know, we get our periods. Sure. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. Why don't you say that? I just thought that there was like kind of like a sister to sister. Like, we get it. Right, right, right.

Oh, yeah. No. What are we men? We're not going to fuck on our periods? Yeah. You know, both do that. No, interesting. I'm out of that it's where it's like...

I thought that it was kind of like frothing. No. I don't know. For me... Do you know what fronin is? I don't. What's frothing? Is it frothing?

Is it? Is it because frothing sounds worse? Frothing sounds way worse. It's the, when you put, it's like, dick smashed together? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, using, like, come and sometimes if somebody is like... Maybe that is frothing. Yeah.

The frothing sounds like a pre-cum kind of thing. Correct me if I'm wrong. And then if somebody is like uncut, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I mentioned it. Never mind. Big mistakes, Sid. You can't swim in these waters. If somebody's like uncut, you put your dick in their foreskin.

Right. Sort of a docking station. And this is why y'all are sick. Not y'all, I mean, y'all, everybody in the room except what of a marginalized group are you going to hate? Everybody can get it Anybody can get it You're on a role It's equal opportunity

You're gonna give me Kanye No I'm not I'm literally I have no money to be Kanye You know what I mean Oh that's all that's stopping you Yes You're the assets away

I think when you don't have any money And you're saying things People are just like Well you're poor Like of course you hate this and that You hate your life So that's what it is Not me I love

I love my life right now. I love that. You're projecting. Projecting. Just a little bit. You do seem to be a more of a positive place overall. I am. I am.

Well, okay. Let's, we had a summer where Dwayne was like, let's do hard 75. Explain. And that's, yeah, what's? Oh, yeah, I just wanted to change my life. And that's dieting. What is it exactly?

Can you walk us through it? Bulletport was. He ain't never heard none of about it. Explain it to him like he's five. It's a separate. 25-day commitment to betterment. So you're supposed to, like, follow, like, a diet. You're supposed to, like, exercise twice a day.

You're supposed to, like, read. And one of the workouts have to be, like, outside. So it's like, get a little sun. It's a little sunlight. I think that's about it. Yeah, and the diet is, it's whatever you wanted to be. So for me, I was like, oh, no caffeine, no juice, no soda, no fried food. Okay.

And yours was. I didn't know, like, processed sugars, no. No carbs, basically, no fried foods. Okay. I think that was it. Yeah, and you had to drink a gallon of water a day. Oh, yeah. A gallon of water.

So we walked around with these, like, military, like, canteen. It looked like we were, you know, going to war or camp. Either or. And so this is what we did every single day. And my summer, I was miserable. I was miserable. One time I walked on the train. and I had the bottle

and this woman laughed and pointed at me and was like that's a big ass bottle then the train car started laughing and I was like I've never felt more I mean that's the most middle school

scene of all time I was like oh no I gotta get off this not my stuff wow you galvanized the community against your water bottle you look fucking stupid yeah

every time I went to him and they're like oh you like water okay we get it it's like okay well you're you dry bitch like obviously you don't like water

right right but it did work yeah it did you feeling better Not now But for a week after the hard 75 Yeah We went hard

The same way we went hard for 75 We went hard the rest Just like sugar It was a hard really You did a soft 25 after the hard 75 That would have been smarter It would have Yeah it would have

And then I actually was like I had went so deep deep deep that I was like I'm gonna do hard 75 again And then I did a week of it again I said I can't. I can't. Right. Yeah, this is too much.

It would become like a religious thing almost. It gave your life some shape and purpose. It did. Yeah. But then people were like, I'm scared. Will you, will you get into a cult? Yeah. You're like, no, that just feels like too much work.

I can see it. Really? Yeah. If it was easy enough. Right. It's not, though. Yeah. Because you have to follow directions.

And I'm not doing that. What if they house you? What if there's like a nice communal meal? they take care of a lot of your base necessities. When I was looking for an apartment. Yeah, what if there's no Dwayne? And someone's like, hey, come on into this house. If I didn't get the apartment at the time I did,

and the cult was like, come on and I would have done that. Okay, that's what I'm saying. All right. Yeah. I like a cult. I like, you know, I think it's fun. The idea of starting one seems fun. See, I'm very into that.

Yeah. Because it's like, you could just be like, oh, yeah. Yeah, God said I actually can't do any of the chores And I have to get head from all your wives And then everyone's got to be like, well, if God said it And you can be like, ah, this is crazy I can't believe he's saying this, do you believe this guy? We got to do it.

We got to do it and we don't get to go to Jupiter or whatever the fuck we believe. See, that's how I know you don't watch the documentaries. That's not how cult leaders are. 100% of what you're talking about. First of all, they talk as if they're like, I'm like you. And then they catch people, that's how it starts. Yeah.

But then they, you know, gain their trust and get people when they're at their weakest. And then that's when they elevate and they're like, oh, I actually know more than all of you. Yeah. I'm not, you thought I was like you, but I'm actually ascending. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm actually an alien. Totally. Well, that's the thing, though.

You start being an every man. And I would be so good at that. I would be really good at that. Really? Yeah. And why would you say that? Just because the very things. that you mock, you know, make me very, I'm very, I'm just a regular guy.

I'm just, some fat guy, bald, you know. Well, you have hair. I do have you to thank you. I kind of tricked you into saying. You fell into my trap. I have that, I have that now on record that you something. You have some persuasion here. See that?

See how quickly being a cult leader works? Manipulation. I could get you to say, I have hair. What else could I get you to do, you know? Sure, sure, sure. Head butthole. Yeah, not immediately. You know, first we're learning how to cook stews or whatever,

and then six, seven weeks in, I'm like, all right, guys, this is crazy, but I have to fuck everybody. Which is crazy, because it's just like, how down and out? Not saying you've got to fuck everybody, but just these leaders that have eight, ten wives. Yeah. I don't get it. Like, the girls have to be looking at each other.

Like, can you believe we're fucking this dude? But you're in that, you're like, you're so in that, like, mind frame where, like, this is the coolest guy in the world. And it's actually a privilege. And we're getting closer to whatever bullshit they believe. And it must be fun to just make something up and make people believe it. You got to be like, at a certain point, you're going to be like, I can't believe this is fucking working. Yeah, it's just like a very, very long improv scene. or AI

AI AI is getting me man Oh no Oh no Yo the bunny rabbits On the trampoline I said

Fuck It looks filled Then I saw the bear I said Nah it can be the bear There's no way But then I watched the videos With all these animals

Doing kooky weird I said it could be that I would say I sent a video to a friend And said Oh AI has to be stopped And it was a video of Stephen Hawley

Hawkins using his wheelchair on like a skateboard room. Oh, hell, yeah. And then he, like, went up and then fell, and then, like, people came to, like, help him because it didn't go well. And I said, what? First of all, Stephen Hawkins was not that cool. He wouldn't get on a skateboard. No, he was using the chair down the ramp. His wheelchair.

Oh. Which would be cool if they made those, if they made extreme wheelchairs. Where you could do tricks? Like, did, like, a flip, and then they could be fucking sick. Put little rockets on it. You could do a little flip. There's an awesome one of him on BattleBots He's in like the BattleBots arena

I went live, I went there live I started in Vegas It was dope as out Yeah No, I watched it I was like Was there a paraplegic there? No, it was just the robots battling each other It was very cheesy

Also I was in Vegas I had been there for pretty much a week I was low down and out And I said, oh I was doing spots At the Comedy Cellar Yeah so it was like Oh this is is a little treat.

Do you want to see something cool? Are they, like, big? Are they small? Some of them are really big, some of them are really small. It's actually pretty interesting. Yeah, I'll watch Battlebots, actually. It's pretty sick.

It is. What's the venue? Is it just like a room? Like, I've never, like, see it. No, it gives warehouse. It's like warehouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's very performative.

Like, the host and everybody's involved, you're like, yeah, and then you're like this. And it's just like, hey, this person is in a jumpsuit. They're just here at 2 p.m. They don't, they're just here. It was the matinee. You meant the BattleBots matinee. I got the free tickets.

Just in the audience. Have you been to a monster truck rally? Are they like something? Hell yeah. I don't know. There's more pomp and circumstance to a monster truck rally. There's more people there. I went to one of those for the first time.

It was so loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said that would make sense. I didn't realize what I got there. And I was like, why does everybody wear earmuffs? Oh, my fucking God. Yeah. But it is sick.

I do like it. I had a good job. I took a car's flipping. Yeah. It gave a weird vibe a little bit because of the demographic. But I was like, sure, sure, sure, sure. Because I was like, I don't know if I would want to be in amongst the crowd. Sure.

Yeah. What was BattleBots like? Uh, it was kids. It was mad kids there. Parents just like being supportive. And then at the end of the matinee. Yeah, at the matinee. But at the end of the show, they're like, oh, we're trying to get more like kids to be a part of, you know,

the creative arts and engineering so they have like a they sell at the end that's actually like oh yeah we should support battle bodies you know yeah yeah yeah yeah one time I was in Greece with my friends and we were we had done we done

mushrooms and we were swimming in the ocean it was a great day and we saw like signs for like this magician and we were like oh it'll be cool like a fucking Vegas you know like we're on shrooms it'll be fucking sick and we're just it's super hot, we're tripping, and we're just like, fuck, we got to make it to the, like, we're running late,

we're like rushing to get, we get out of the beach, we go to the magic show, and we show up, we go, we're like, oh, we just made it, we get there, and it is just so clearly a show for, like, babies. It's like, it's like a magician that's like, ooh, like doing shit like this, it's like, oh. It's like, ah, this is excellent. It was like parents and, like, Max and A.

year old we were just the oldest people creepy it was creepy because we're also like our pupils are fucking huge we're just like three guys being like oh fuck dude he's fucking step his big finisher was stepping on glass like he just he was just like ah and he was like not even doing a good job his assistant was like helping him so it was just like he was barely stepping on the glass it wasn't even magic it was just a guy kind of floating above the glass and when he touched

He'd be like, ah. An actor. I love that. The trick to not be in pain? Yeah, it was fucking up. But it was a great, it was a beautiful experience. Well, I will say this about magicians. At first, I was like, they're so fucking cheesy, but I actually like the cheesy magicians.

I'm annoyed at the people that are like David Blaine, who takes it way too seriously. Being cool. Oh, and, you know, he's attractive, you know, like the girls go crazy for him. Is that, okay? I didn't know that about David Paul. Yeah. Oh, I guess he was, wasn't he a member of the Pussy Posse? The girls would go crazy for him.

Like, 2011, 2012. He used to come into the bar that I worked at. And when I tell you obnoxious, we're having a good time. All you hear is broken glass. And so, and he's chewing on glass in the middle of the fucking bar. And we're like, dude. Get out of here. Who's going to clean this up?

We're like, who's going to clean this? He's eating more glass. He's like, can you please stop? You're scaring the hose. Clean up what? You're scared. You're scaring the hose. Wow.

David Blaine scared the hose by eating glass, huh? Yeah, but then. You want to scare him too much. No, well, obviously they're scared in the moment, but then afterwards he's going to the bathroom and he's so, can you chew on something else? Like, you're just dumb shit. Shoot his ass. Yeah. Who else?

Was there anybody else? I mean, I know you've told a couple stories, but like, is there anybody non, the non, I know you told the Jim Carrey story, I feel like, but is there anybody else? Like, David Blaine, I didn't think about it. Is there, like, a random celebrity who got more of an interaction or, like, more of a reaction than anybody would have thought?

Because David Blaine kind of surprised me that he was that big. Is there anybody else that we're missing in 2011? He was huge. Like a carrot chop or something, buddy. I was naming more Vegas people. No. No, there was like a big, like private party so it was a lot of celebrity like Kate Moss a whole like a whole but it was

it was very beige and so you know I'm there I'm just happy to be there but I don't know everybody who's famous I don't know everybody who's legendary famous people hate that they hate that when you treat them like a regular person well no I remember one time Bono came in and uh obviously I know who you are sure but he's like um I can't help but your shitty songs are on my phone oh I didn't ask for Remember that bullshit? Why the fuck they put a U-2 album on every iPhone? You guys, listen, you guys act like you were, you know, touched. It was just music.

Don't make it that big of a deal. It was fucking annoying. YouTube sucks. They didn't ask for my consent. Okay, as a man, you should relate. Okay. That's all go to. So.

Okay, so because other men rape, I have to listen to you too. Yes. Absolutely. First of all. That says taking the power back. That seems like a horrible train-off. I would try for, like, police reform before you make us listen to shitty music. But, hey, whatever.

You said, what? If some people rape, everybody should be raped. I did not say that. Basically. Essentially, is that that? I never said that. Anyway, Bono's in there. Bono's in there, and he's, like, playing pool.

He's ordering a mojito at 2 p.m. on a Sunday. It's kind of strange. But he's talking to me, and I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm working. I was like, I'm Sydney. He's like, and I'm Bono. I'm like, yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw you here the other night with all the cool Zizi top and like every, Zeezy top.

Yo, they put me on to, listen, we got. Big ass beards. Yes, it was great. And people were going crazy. I was like, this guy needs a haircut. Yeah, all of them. They looked dusty. But I think the craziest story was allegedly.

somebody was doing cocaine right out on the table and they took a wet straw and started, I was like, sir, go home. Wet straw. And it was allegedly sting. What did they do with the wet straw? I was like, you have to get out of it. They took it out of the...

To do coke with it. Yeah. And you're just gumming it up. You just have like a weird Coke paste. God, get out of it. Your shirt is bad. He was probably all backed up. He had nut for like two months or whatever.

You know, Sting likes to fuck for like 12 hours. Like three days straight and not nut. Allegedly. But then I was making a big singer. I was like, can you believe this is fucking that? Like, like, hey, it's Sting. He does what he wants. Yeah, you ever heard of Desert Rose?

I don't have not. And I'm like, um, they didn't put that on my iPod. I like know the name Sting, but if somebody showed me a picture, I couldn't tell you who. No. Yeah, there was tons of people that were like, these, you should know who these people. I was like, you know, I shouldn't. Yeah. I was like, I know.

I know Janie Sure, of course I know Chingy Oh, Chingy I know I know Holiday Inn I know Murphy I know Murphy Lee

from the St. Lunatic I'd recognize that half a mask anywhere Is that Is that the Is that the black

Phantom of the opera? Wow What an error The St. Lunatic's days Mm-hmm. That's funny. Yeah, that is.

Did you have any, there he is. You know, it's crazy because I feel like he got hotter later. Interesting. He did have a run as, which is, yeah, it is very funny. That's him looking better. Yeah. Yeah. Without the mask, you think.

He was not a bad-looking guy. Yeah. I was really into that. But then someone told, I remember going on a podcast and saying Murphy Lee was hot. And they were like, I could see why you're a little. Let's be. Oh, that's true. Bring him back up.

A stud. He does have the stud mind. Oh. Okay. My diaper. Holy shit. Murphy Lee, call me. A clean-shaven.

Pull up clean-shaven Murphy Lee. Yeah, that looks like somebody's aunt. Yeah, well, you can't. Why is Hulk Hogan coming up? Anyway, whatever. He gives me. We'll move on. whatever

interesting Duane you never had any jobs where you had weird interaction with celebrity I mean I guess now now you're actually in a bunch of movies TV well he's a celebrity of course of course you know thanks you know we got

did you what were your jobs before because you were pretty much you were like I feel like you were working pretty young in comedy and stuff but what were your like jobs before I had a bunch of jobs I worked at a sandwich shop and then I got promoted

within the sandwich shop to work in the corporate offices say the name. Say the name. It was pot belly. Yeah, I'm like, don't just say any sandwich shop. Pop belly is good.

Yeah, and then they hired me to be an interior designer. So I mean, I've decorated pot bellies across the country. That is truly one of the gayest promotions like possibly I've ever heard.

It's like to be making sandwich and be like, you've got it kid, we need you to, you need to We need like a young hip person. I said, me. And then they hired me. We had meatballed down and get you some curses.

You'll be better with tapestry. And I was great at it. Yeah. Your talents are being wasted on Provolone. And then once I was done, they sent me back to the sandwich. Wow, really? Yeah, you had to go back? And then I had to quit.

I said, you can't show me the good life. Yeah. Go back. The demotion of it all. I'm picking out antique chalkboards to write the sandwich specials on one day and I'm supposed to make them the next. No, thank you. I used to do on-demand, like, laundry service for, like, rich people. Oh, wow.

They were weird generally. Totally, totally. Yeah, I didn't. What do you mean? Look, like, they were. Just the interactions are strange. Yeah, like, they were strange. One guy I thought was going to kill me because he, because, like, usually they just, like, leave it and you, like, pick it up.

And he was, like, come inside my house. And I was like, for what? I was like, come inside my closet. And I said, no. Wow. What were you wearing? The uniform. Oh, okay.

Because I'm like, if you were like, I was wearing. I'm saying, if you're looking like this, you come to my door. I'm like, well, come in. I was wearing a black shirt. He thought it was a pornography situation. Looking like a valet. Yeah. But a cute one.

Yeah, I worked at a production company. I worked at like a tech company. I've had so many jobs. Tech company, interesting. Yeah, it was a company called Tech Week. and they put on, like, a tech conference. And they used to, like, sit on, like, those big balls. It was just, like, it felt like I was, like, a TV show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was the... They probably had a bunch of free snacks. So many snacks. Catered lunch. I was steal. It was the best. Well, wait, why would you steal if it's just out?

Is this not stealing if there's, like, you can have it? It's stealing once you take it from the place and bring it to your home. Oh, yeah. Backpack full of chips of hole and stuff like that, popcorners. I thought it was free for all. No, no, no. You're not supposed to just take it. take as much as you can.

And I would take more than snacks. Yeah. I'm stealing supplies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They gave me a laptop I tried to keep. Listen. I was young and I had the money. I love it, dude.

Give us the fucking laptop, dude. What are you going to do with this Dell? Like, you know, like, don't steal from people, but a corporation, baby, take it. You can steal from. Absolutely. We're going stealing from corporations. That's what they have, like, lost prevention and insurance for, you know? Yeah.

So take it. I agree. Lost prevention. I also worked at J.C. Penny. Oh, hell yeah. That was my first job. Yeah. I was a greeter at the mall.

A greeter at J.C. Penny. Wow. That's an upscale J.C. Penny. Yep. And it was in a very diverse neighborhoods. I would try to say hi in like different languages

based on what I assume. That's why I didn't keep the job for long. Positive racial profiling. The second day, they're like, so I'm going to have to let you off. I want them to feel like they are at home. Yeah. You're like, quenitua.

I'm like, Just like a guess. No, that was a black man. That's so fucking funny. The base of your feature, I think. You grew up in Chicago, right? Yeah.

Jumbo, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's fucking hilarious. Damn, you have had a lot of jobs. Stavi, what about you? You see, our people, we know. What have you done? Well, I never, I never let on rich guys until I could get thousands of dollars out of them.

did that. I just kind of worked with my hands, blue collar, worked at a machine shop. I worked at one of the last blockbusters when I was in college. That was pretty fun. You definitely give blockbuster energy. Yeah, I really enjoyed that. I learned they never,

when they send you to collections, they don't actually they just threaten you with phone calls. They don't actually send you to collections of blockbuster. They make it seem like they do. They send you a bill that looks like you've been sent to collections. But they told me, we never actually send anyone to collection so i just stole like fucking 20 DVDs on the way out i was like oh sick i'm just gonna keep these um i worked at a machine yeah worked at a machine yeah wait does that work for a lot

of places or it was just it's over now blockbuster's the no no no what i'm saying like are they're like just trying to scare you i bet you some places are trying to scare you but i don't know and that's so there are ways you can get out of it because um tell me some people are not supposed to like sell like your information to third party places. So you're just like, make a fuss about it. You can really, I've gotten some, a lot of things handled. So how did you get my number?

Is that what you said? I'm just threatened to sue, but, you know, like you can do like claims. My, um, I did it, I saw it on TikTok and I did it for my student loans. Really? And it worked? Now, that's why my credit school is so good. Wow.

Wait, that happened in me. They sold, they sold my, my student loans to, and then there was, and then if there's like, like data leak or something, you could be like, fraudulent Wait, can you help me? But it's only on like two Like only on like some of them

Because some of the credit unions didn't They said go fuck yourself So on certain credit My credit is like 800 some And now some is like six something And I just don't tell people about that one Sure. No reason to

So we're the same No I wouldn't say that Well I just want you to know that I am an authorized user so I'm getting up there good for you yeah authorize user of what of um my partners

my partner's MX oh wow yeah that's good why was it so short let it go long let it go look what is that you can just put yourself up with somebody else's credit card I didn't put myself on do you actually get like a credit boost from that

yes you do because now I have a higher credit limit and also you know she's She's paying it off on time. Of course, of course. Yeah. So you're building credit the way you build like a child's credit. Fuck you. You get it.

You're on your dad's credit card or whatever. No, first of all, just because your bum ass had to work hard. And I just had to be myself, charisma and all, and loving and caring. Who worked hard? I got rich off podcasting. Oh, you had to work hard. Comedy. I hit a lottery myself.

You did. Yeah. I mean, you had to be a part of something. thing was called Cumbtown boys. Sure, sure, sure, that's fucking crazy. That is true.

That is true. Yeah, I guess come indirectly helped us all. You know, we all got there somehow. I immediately went to like, baguettes. See, you said it.

You said it. Because I can. Yeah. Feels nice to hear it, you know. It feels old-fashioned. I reclaimed it. It's mine to you.

Do you know who is? listeners are, they're like, well, Dwayne Perkinson. No, no. They don't think they get the pass. They don't think so. They've moved on. They have. They're actually, they always say really nice things. They're a bit, yeah, everybody loves to them. Yeah, some of them are like, she's loud. She's not even that hot too.

This first one, I think you're hot. Your finger. You don't think you're loud? No. Oh, interesting. Oh. No, I think I project my voice. I just want you guys to know. I was a youth insight in the Whitney Museum when I was in high school. So I used to give tours to senior citizens and kids, and I know how to speak from the diaphragm.

Right. I just get tours, too. That was one of my jobs. Oh, I could see that. Look at that. What do you want? Where is your lesson? I've never given a tour.

I worked at a Sherwood Williams Paint Store for a year and a half. Were you huffing paint? I was not. But I would steal, you know, when somebody fucked up paint, I would just take it, you know. What would you do with it? My brother was an artist. He would use it. That's sweet. Sweetie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should start with that.

Okay, I'll lead with it. I'll lead with it. I also want to say, we're going to do some questions, too, but I want to say, Dwayne, I love the blackening. We never, I wanted to talk about it. Now, that's the movie, the movie was so good. And it was just, and when I was made, like, I made an independent movie and seeing that, that was, that was like a real inspiration because I was like, these are, you know, people that, you know, like, obviously you had a and people knew you, but it's hard to make a fucking movie. And it was just so cool to see.

It was so fucking. And if you guys haven't seen it, it's perfect time. It's like, you know, spooky season. Go watch The Blackenet. Streaming on Netflix. Oh, streaming on Netflix. And that movie, I mean, it's just very funny. And I mean, the tagline was also, I mean, it's the kind of movie where you hear the title

and then the tagline being like, we can't all die first. It's just so perfect. You know exactly the movie you're, the movie you're in for. And it's just like, yeah, there's never a movie. where a horror movie were, it's all black people. It's always, someone is always the sacrificial lamb. And it was very funny to see a bunch of different sort of archetypes in a horror movie just sort of in their own movie.

You know what I mean? It was, it was awesome. And it was very well, the twists are great. It's just very, very funny, really good, really good movie. So I wanted to give you. Get off his dick. Because the way you didn't have to explain your own movie? I'm sorry, Sydney, what was your movie?

Oh, okay, I apologize. We'll do the one, the independent comedy you wrote and starred in. Maybe we can start there. You're kind of talking to two filmmakers here. Sorry if we're moving too fast for you. You know what? I don't know. You can literally go.

We can talk about stand-up. He loved. He was like, yeah, get DeWayne in there. She called you and be like, so when you get there, do to switch her roof, switch up on her. This was only a response to your response to the response. No, it is an amazing movie. Most people don't know. It is like it was a parallel to like being like in comedy spaces.

Yeah. It being like the token. And then I did a show without black people and was like. hey yeah why don't we do this this this don't happen often yeah yeah and it was i'm so glad it happened the way that it happened and totally so thank you because you you wrote it right yeah yeah yeah it was just like and the cast is incredible too i mean everybody's so fucking funny yeah um but yeah go watch the go watch the watch the watch the movie guys just a nice plug for it thanks are you working on others are you i mean i know you're on uh the studio which is fucking great

yeah very funny you're great in that are you working on other stuff are you writing other the sequel oh hell yeah dude well if you need an evil white guy you know what I mean we always need people to kill I'd love to be killed in the black and it would be an honor

to have a gruesome death it's just so long that's awesome screaming all right sweet well listen watch out for that and I just wanted to because I love the movie and and let's

But we have, you know, a wealth of, like, life experience on this couch. So it's time to help our callers. So why don't we play some calls here, Eldis? Hi, Stavi. Love you. Love the pod. I have a very specific question. Okay.

So I have a boyfriend. We've been together, like, nine months. Things are going very well. He's very nice to me. It's like the best relationship I've been in so far. I will say he has a very, strong personality, like, in general, like, I find that with how people react to him, it can be kind of a love him or hate him situation, uh, he's in like, very kind of show,

like, especially in a group setting, he can be a little domineering, a little over the top, just in general, you know, um, some people think he's kind of an arrogant asshole, you know, I really don't think he is. He's kind of more, you know, and he's kind of different one-on-one and stuff. But like, in a group setting, I could definitely, understand why people feel that way. We live in a really small town where, like, everyone has an opinion about everybody, you know? So frequently, it will get back to me that somebody has an issue with him or, like, I've talked shit about him or whatever.

And you think that's their phone. Like, I'll just hear it through the great line of, like, somebody else, you know, having some kind of it, never anything really serious, but just kind of like, oh, that guy's an asshole kind of thing. And their opinions don't really bother me. What of my question is, is when I share these things, do I tell him, like, that I'm hearing other people, like, do I tell him, oh, man, I heard through the grape line that this person has a problem with you, or is there really no point? Like, in the name of being a united front, I'm usually kind of inclined toward telling your partner basically everything. But at the same time, it seems not very helpful. Like, I don't personally, like, I don't even want to know when people.

people are talking shit about me because I don't I don't care and it just kind of makes me feel bad and so it's like let them have their opinion you know at the same time it has also happened that he genuinely believes that someone likes him and that they're good friends and then I will hear through the great spine that they can't stand and part of me thinks that he should know about that like to help him stay face socially you know so I don't know tell just tell me what you think like when you if people talk shit about your partner is it an automatic tell your partner about it or not necessarily um and that's my question interesting thank you well did you have an immediate it seemed like you this why do they feel comfortable

talking shit about your man clearly they're like they're trying to plant little Easter eggs like yo he might not be a good guy because why would you feel like I I need to, because it's like, tell him. If you don't like him, what's you going to her for? But it could be the kind of thing where she's saying it's through the grapevine. So it could be the kind of thing where somebody tells somebody who tells somebody who is actually close to her that's like, hey, just so you know, this guy's been talking shit on your boyfriend. I don't think it's directly the person who hates her boyfriend is like, hey, your boyfriend's a fucking piece of shit. I think it's like a couple steps removed.

I'm a woman. I'm telling you. Okay. When somebody's like, well, such an sense to, your man's an asshole. It's like, well, I actually think that as well. Oh, interesting. But I'm glad that somebody else said it to me. You're using them as the buffer.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's a good point. That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, Dway. I think that they're probably telling her so that they can tell him so he can change so that they can be a, so their experience can be better. I think you're giving it. That's a very charitable read on the situation.

I don't think they're hoping for a positive outcome. I think they think this guy's a piece of shit. and they don't care. Yeah, but, like, I think, like, when you say that, I think there's, like, either two options, like, leave him. Right. Or, like, you should, like, make him better. Oh, interesting.

Yeah, I feel like I'm inclined to think they're very heavily on the leave him side. But I think that it is possible that they're like, hey, can you maybe check this behavior? That could be part of it. Yeah, because, like, if he's not, like, because she's saying, like, oh, it's not, like, anything terrible. They're just, like, they don't really fuck with him. But see, I'm, she's an unrued.

reliable narrator. She is. I think you're saying the dicks out of this world is probably correct. Nine months? Nine months? That's not enough time for me to be like, well, because the thing is, it's like, how come she hasn't gone to him already? Because like, if I'm in the world when relationship that I'm in with this person, I'm

immediately being like, yo, such and such talking shit about you. We pillow talking. But if I'm hesitant and I'm like, there might be some validity. to what she's hearing. Yeah, my initial, like, the fact that her, she ends the call by being like, so my question is, when you hear people talking shit about your partner, do you tell them, that's not really your issue. Your issue is why the fuck is everybody talking shit about him?

And is there, like, at a certain point, it becomes worthy of you being like, is everybody else right? You know what I mean? Yeah, I definitely think that's what the issue is, is like, oh, I just love an asshole. Yeah, that's true. And it's like, oh, that's interesting. So what you're going to do about it? Because why are we talking about him?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is your life. He's different one-on-one. Oh, I can't stand that. Different one-on-one is one of the biggest red flags I've ever. Like men and women, it's like someone who's a fucking asshole to everyone, but they're nice to you, the person they're fucking. They don't really get credit for that, in my opinion.

They're inside of you, duh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would hope that they're nice to you while they're inside of you. At least they get it. I mean, I guess there are plenty of assholes who aren't even nice to their partner, but still, I don't know. So it just was like if she going to tell him the intent behind telling them like, are you telling them to like, key, key like, ooh, they, they talk the shit. Or are you saying like, hey, maybe you're an asshole.

Yeah. Stop treating people like this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'd also love to know what it is. Because she's like. He said he's arrogant. Okay.

And he's over the top. Dominering. Dominering. So he probably cuts people off. He's probably, it's a small town. He probably be boasted about the like smallest shit. that it's like, all right, dude. Hate or love.

Yeah. Probably big fish, small pond situation. He's got, yeah, yeah. And he just rubs people the wrong way. Yeah. But also those people could be small-minded and just like basic folks. And they are, you know. It's a small town. Move to a bigger city.

Then you have more assholes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He won't be his big. I guess I'd love to know. And they're jealous, maybe. It's jealousy. I'd love to know how this actually manifests itself, right? Is it like, is he just being straight up rude?

to people, or is he just kind of like loud and boistered? There's a difference between, you know, acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior. And it's hard for us to tell without examples, but, yeah, I don't know. Whether you should tell them or not, I probably would, I would definitely tell, especially the social thing where he's like, he, because part of this is, he might not understand how much his behavior is negatively. Like, he might think this is cool. Like, he thinks people that are his friends, the people that he thinks are his friends are talking shit about him, he kind of needs to know those people don't like him

because then he can be like, well, why do they feel this way about me? And then he can actually think about his own behavior. Now, these people also are maybe cowards who should just tell this to his face. So it's like no one here is coming out well. That's what is giving a town full of bitch-assness. Yeah, right? And nobody really seen what they're supposed to be saying.

Yes, that could be true. But I also know these people who, you know, I don't want to, on a spectrum, not really socially aware. And, like, they be thinking. No, no, no, no. No, we know these people. We know these people that, that you could see that the group is uncomfortable. They said some things and they're like, all right now.

And they just keep going. It's like, you, you, it doesn't matter if somebody's like, hey, stop. They're going to keep going. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I don't know. I would say in a relationship, I would probably tell my partner, especially if they're cool with someone that's talking shit. I think you can't let them like make a fool of themselves at a minimum.

You know, like... You have to tell them. Yeah. But also when people are talking shit, it's like, so what are you going to say? Are you going to tell them or like, because stop coming to me. Like, tell those people they need to speak to him about this. True. Hey, if you have a problem with them, fucking tell them.

That's true. Because there's too much bitch-ass behavior going on in this small town, in this hamlet. All right. What else we got, Elders? with us stop you greet god and eldest your loyal squire i'm 27 uh live in the city that i grew up in and have a pretty large friend group where most of us also live in that city we hang out pretty often um one of our very close friends however has taken up a habit over the last year or so of bailing on plans pretty much every time plans are made he will even bail on plans that he himself initiated. That's next level. Now the paker is, truly without fail,

he blames his girlfriend for the bail every single time. You know, it's not just that, but he's presumably like creating elaborate and bizarre stories to accompany that. And so, you know, at one point he said his girlfriend's brother who lives in another state had COVID. Another time her lesbian aunt and her partner were visiting town and there was traffic to get into the city so he couldn't come.

city so he couldn't come. Just last weekend, he said, pretty blatant. Sorry, I can't come. She has diarrhea. Wow. Come to find out, she posted an Instagram story an hour later at an ice cream store.

So basically, none of us feel the mold to confront him about it, but it's easier to just kind of shrug, assume he won't show up. I mean, what would you do about this, though? It is frustrating. You know, on the offense, we do see him. Everything's fine and great, but it just feels like

he does everything possible to not be our friend and see us. Like, at what point would you approach him at what point would you confront a guy like this would you just cut off the friendship um yeah appreciate yourself it's the best thanks yeah I mean

this is I think this is just classic 27 thinning out the herd of your friends you know what I mean like in every age you realize you kind of outgrow certain people and this guy is he if somebody canceling you this many times you just stop inviting

them at a certain point you're like I'm tired of this fucking like I don't know is he like your best friend do you guys go how far back do you go he might just be eight year 27 is also a classic time where a lot of friends from like your 20s start to drop off you know what i mean um nah but 27 is like we lit we out let's go like there should be no reason why nah i got a girlfriend i'm right we out the girlfriend's out we drinking we partying what's good like it's summertime that's what i'm saying he doesn't want to be a part of that was it snowing like Nobody is just making up

excuses, especially at that young of age, it's like, we want to be outside. I mean, I don't want to sound like not sympathetic, but there's a pattern of everybody being bitches. Like, what's going on? Like, he's saying, like, I'm not in bold. Y'all, if y'all don't jump him

emotionally as a group. Like, what the fuck, man? Hello, and then also just show up where he at. Ambush. I think y'all need to match energies. I like that. touch energies and then just have fun with that because clearly he's having fun making shit shit out yeah it's really weird why he feels the need to make these it's also very cowardly

to hide behind your girlfriend yeah um so he may be hiding something yeah i mean he could be depressed i don't yeah i mean i guess he's a good enough friend yeah he's on crack that's a that's another throwback a throwback vice um i think i think if he's a good enough friend it merits like a conversation to be like hey man what the fuck's going on like you don't come to anything like you know it's all good like do you want to hang out like something is there's no way these excuse like i always think he's talking about one of his best friends i always like think if like somebody i'm as close with his eldest or somebody like our friend group we would be like hey man what's the fuck's going on like what and if if you get another evasive sort of like oh

nothing like somebody's pretending that's like all right that was your chance and to explain yourself. And then it's like, you're just kind of, I don't need to see you. You don't want to hang out with me? I don't need to fucking hang out with you. And even said, it's a bigger group and all of them are all hanging out.

So if this guy doesn't want to fucking save him the fucking mad, it's like he's playing mad lives with these excuses. It's like a place, a family member, an ailment. Oh, sorry, I had the flu at a Thai restaurant with my second cousin. I couldn't make it to the game. You know what I mean? Making plans and then bailing is.

Diabolics. People do that too. People do that too. And the best way to deal with those people is you just don't say nothing. And then you don't invite them. And then they're like, wait a minute. And it's like you didn't already got blocked from the group, babe. You're going to have to reach out individually because you're not in the group no more.

I definitely think friends, like, tell you what kind of friend that they are. And if you like them enough, you just adjust to the positioning. Right, right. And so it's like, oh, that's just the, like, I have a friend that, you know, like, oh, they just not going to be on time. Or like, oh, oh, the friend that we don't. don't invite to certain things because they might fight people. Just like knowing like who they are. I mean like, oh, that's just not the friend that we like go out with.

Of course. But like, do y'all talk on the phone? Like, is that the friend that you just like talk on the phone? Sure, sure. So just like every friend can't be everything. That's a good point. That's a good point. And yeah.

And at the most extreme, it's like a friend just might drop off too. Yeah. If he, there might just be no part, you know, especially if he's doing this weird shit. And that's okay too. But yeah, try, give him a, I mean, I think it merits one conversation. see how he reacts and then it's like other than that it's like all right well then fuck it you don't you just don't get an invite anymore yeah because what if he's just doing a bit to be like my friends don't tell me the truth i'm gonna see how far i can push him to actually like make our friend group more open you that smart i don't think that i did that with my family once what did you do well you're a genius so i just kept like withholding like emotional like stuff to see if they would like do it actually did it with an ex

to where I was like, oh, this, like, is very passive. How far can I go? And I moved states to see if they would, like, bring it up and they didn't. And that's how I knew, like, okay. I love why you're like, they're crazy. Anyway, I'm going to be changing the zip code, my zip code. I'm going to need to get a new driver's license to teach him a lesson. So maybe look inward.

Maybe it's the friend group's fault. That's true. It's very possible. But my money's on this guy's a coward and a weird. weird and fuck him personally and his girlfriend is not alive he is that's the secret yeah that's him with an AI filter and that must be an art line no that's right keep it going eldest you know sovi podcast um just something i throw your guys's way i've been listening a lot of the clips channel recently so um

maybe try my brother is transgender um we're i'm 30 years old he's 32 um so recently i was asked by him if i would donate some of my sperm to help the cause for him and his wife you know and very uh wasn't sure how to take it you know kind of odd thing to hear um Um, my wife, you know, of course, she felt very conflicted on how to feel about it because didn't involve her at all. Just kind of called me on a random Sunday. Anyways, um, let me know what you don't think. Um, I said saying no, you know, after telling him that I was thinking about it for a little

bit. But, um, yeah, anyways, let me know. Interesting. Why did you say, I don't know. I don't think it's that weird person. I was just about to say, is it weird that I don't think that's weird at all? Yeah. I'm just like, share DNA.

He can't biologically get his wife pregnant. So he's like, why don't I get the next closest DNA match? He doesn't ask you to fuck his wife. He wasn't like, hey, can you nut my wife? He was just like, can we do this? Like, I don't actually think this is weird, to be honest with you. You have the opposing view? I'm going to put out there that it's a little weird.

Okay. It's a little weird because, yeah, why you didn't include his wife. I don't think that's weird either. And no, I'm not going to go on a phone call about this. You take me to dinner. I kind of agree with that. You order, you order some apps. Okay.

You get an entree. Now we're overdoing it. I was with you. And after that, and you're like, so, by the way, you feeling good? You're full? Good. Now, y'all, I was thinking, right. I'm going to need some of y'all, you know, baby juice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I can procreate with my family and it's the same DNA. And just, like, explain it so it make everybody feel comfortable. because it feels like they're floating the idea and not necessarily being like this is an official ask but you've been like hey like is that a thing that you would be comfortable

and I see why I wouldn't want to ask my brother and his wife at the same time I want to ask the person I am related to like hey how you feel and if the answer is like oh I'm cool with that and then I'm like okay then we should discuss it with your wife yeah I actually

I could see I see your point too but I actually I do see what you're saying sitting where it's like you want to kind of make it feel like a family decision because it's like if he was single or even not not married maybe I'm with you Duane where it's like if it wasn't

but married does feel like it's kind of her jizz too you know what I mean it's like they have kids I just don't respect marriage yeah that's true and I respect that projecting projecting

and I respect that stance but I do think I don't know if he needs the full fucking nine course meal that you're suggesting think, Sidney, but I think something more than a random phone call on a... Make it nice. Yeah. Even if you just sit down, you talk in person.

But I don't find, I may be find, I would have liked a better ask, but I really don't find the ask that weird personally. I think like it's not, you know, it's just like you're using your siblings' DNA to have a kid. I don't know. But at the end of the day, what if the kid gets, you know, 23 and me later on? Like, you not the father? You did, that's the father.

Do you think they're going to keep it secret? Some people do. Some people too. Some people too. Yeah. Or maybe the kids really dumb. They're like, huh? Why is it my dad, my dad?

Hold on now. We have gotten through three calls where people are pussyfooting around and not being direct and being weird and shady. Parents do that. Family does that. I agree with you. I guess, do you think you could have a child and they not know that you're a lesbian?

I'm not going to have a child. You ask me questions I never even thought about. I just feel like there's just information that it would be very hard to hide. I also think it wouldn't be that big a deal. It's like you're, it's still like, especially being an uncle, it's like it's already a really close family member, you know, and it's not like you would feel like that's your dad. You would be like, that's my uncle. You know, you're already sharing DNA with that person.

Technically, that's my dad. technically. Not really. Your dad is who raises you. Sure, but like. And they're a relative. Adoption. Like, a parent is a position.

This is interesting. This has come up a couple times and it is interesting. Different people have, different people feel very strongly about it. But I think it's like almost completely who raises you. Like I don't think it matters. I mean, not at all. Of course it matters a little bit.

But especially when we're talking about a sibling where it's like this is still, you know, biologic you're sharing. a lot of your DNA. I don't think it's that big a deal. I feel, like, biology really does feel logistical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's fairly, like, emotional. Yeah, in this case in particular, yeah.

Okay. Eldez, would you lend your jizz for this situation? I think so. I think it would need to be like, you know, probably not framed in, like, a phone call or something. Yeah, yeah. But it would need to be like a big sit-down discussion. Yeah.

I think I would. And as a married man, would you want your wife involved in the ask. I think so for sure. Yes, okay. But I, you know, I could see, I could see, like, there is something that, like, you know, yes, you are the uncle. You're not, like, in the position of the parent.

But I don't know. I could see, like, just looking down the line or something. You're like, whoa, that kid is, like, from my jizz. I know it's stupid, but, like, I could see it, like, crossing my mind or something. But at the same time, we've looked it up before because people have called him with like adoption questions like when's the how should you tell your kid they're adopted and the orthodoxy is you want to tell them as soon as possible so like as soon as they understand the concept we're like no like from from when they're a baby like before they can even understand

you want to start like just telling them that narrative so they're like used to it and grow up with it their whole life and i think this would be like that where it's like you know obviously put it in baby terms of little kid terms yeah and get more into as they get older, but it's like, yes, you are from Uncle LD's Jiz, but you are, you know, the son of, that's still your uncle, your dad is your dad, yeah. So it's like, some dads don't have Jiz, you know what I mean? Some dads don't have Jiz. Now, that's an important conversation.

That's true. That's a nice children's book. Some dads don't have Jiz. And I think if you frame it like that for this, it wouldn't be like weird because it just gets like normalized from the kids. birth like between the whole family or something yeah so yeah okay all right we got to the bottom of that but you also know that kids are asshole and there's always going to be that moment he's with his uncle and he's like you're not my dad and he's like well actually draw four

bitch I am technically I mean either way this guy didn't want reverse where to fuck you been yeah uh play us another one that was a good question that was a good one that was a good one I'm a big fan of the show. I'm actually watching it right now. Okay. I am, I don't know, I've got some questions. I'm 23 years old. I got about 20,000 in debt.

That's like credit cards, personal loans, and a bunch of bullshit. And no one really knows about it because I'm managing it, but I mean, in your position at this age, you know, what would you do? Like, obviously pay it down. But I feel like I'm fucked. I feel like everything is just falling apart. I don't have any payments, like, on cars or nothing. It's literally shitty personal. I don't think of that, dude.

And, uh, yeah. So I just want to see what you would do in a money-tight situation. I'm able to eat, but I just have that lingering over my head. So thanks for, uh, thanks for doing this, man. This is cool. I'm gay. Okay, cool, man. Um, this is tough because I've never thought of, like, I was poor and never really thought about money.

I was like, oh, it'll just happen. I'll just figure it out. And then as soon as it was about to start becoming a problem, I started making money off a podcast. So I've never learned financial literacy at all. I don't know what to do with debt. I also, like, my family was really heavily in debt, so it scared me out of debt.

So even in, like, I chose the college I went to because I got a scholarship. It wasn't the best school I could go to. I was just like, I'm not having student loans. I've always avoided debt. I pay shit off, like, even when, then like a financial person will be like, oh, it's fine to have this loan. I've paid out, you know, a mortgage earlier than I needed to. So I'm pretty scared of debt.

I would probably just pay it down and at least stay ahead of the interest rate. Like that's the killer with debt is that you might borrow fucking six grand, but if you let the interest rate kill you, you'll end up with like fucking 20 grand in debt. So I would just stay ahead of the interest, you know, try and pay it down as much as you can, as fast as you can, especially because it was credits, you know, personal credit card shit, that means you were just buying Xboxes and fucking takeout with that. You don't even

have shit to show for it. So just change, you've figured it out now, though. Just change your habits and try and pay it down. But, you know, as much as you can without completely fucking your life up is what I would say. Yeah, and if you have people in your life that you can trust

or, like, can support you, file for bankruptcy. Oh, interesting. And then, have a plan before the things that you would use credit for within the, what is it, seven years that you have, and then have, like, guarantors, like, people that, like, can facilitate you doing the things that you need while you rebuild your credit. This is good. This is good.

Have you given somebody else this advice recently? I have. Something that I realize is that, like, a lot of wealthy people file bankruptcy all the time. It's in the TikToks and the Reddit. All the time. Interesting. Yeah. It really is just a system.

But it's just a bailout that people, that that's just worse for people that have less. Interesting. But if you know how to kind of game the system, you can use it to your advantage. Huh. Yeah, I don't know shit about any of that. It does. Because how many things you need to finance, if you have an apartment, if you have a lot. So you're not allowed to finance shit for seven years.

That's how it goes? Yeah, because you just, like, your credit is just really bad. So most people just won't do it. But if you just do those things before you do it, you set yourself up to where you're like, oh, I have enough cash to do this, I have this, I have. You can just kind of be cruising through those seven years. And not living beyond your means and stuff. Yeah.

You're good. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, again, I don't know shit. That sounds like good at rush. Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama. That's good, too. Find you a nice benefactor. Yeah, that would be awesome.

But yeah, dude, that's good. You know, look into that shit. I don't know what the fuck. I'm sorry. Also, look at if there's any data leaks and then you can try to. I love a data leak. been involved because there's so many

like people are really bad at holding information so if you can find out where your debt is and see if there's any way like any like back channels or any ways you can just like get that shit canceled that's the way to do it yeah it is really fucked up that these banks can sell your debt

let's say this guy is 20,000 debt a bank can buy it for like three grand or some shit yeah and they don't give you the opportunity just well let me fucking buy I'll buy for four you know what I mean and that's but they won't do that because they want to that's how fake debt is that's not true they can do consolidation um if like you have multiple streams of like debt and they consolidate it and make it you know truncate it you know

do it for smaller interesting yeah that's what i think you can call and haggle if someone like you can i mean they've done it there's there's there's organizations that buy medical debt and like forgive a lot of medical debt you could pose as a philanthropic organization and buy your own debt that's fun that's a fun little you know i would be interested in that kind of scam buy it on another credit card also medical debt always give the itemized get the itemized and start what so what is this and what is that and what oh wait i didn't have that yeah why is this here why does this cost so much and then they'll start being like who you know just start taking things off and then you realize you're like oh you guys are a scam yeah oh of course and then it gets

lower and lower it's one of the fucking craziest scam yeah um yeah but so yeah i don't know fucking call dave ramsie or some shit i don't know what the fuck to do about kran car day i don't know become president he'll go away um stobby has anybody ever like said hey can you help out can you donate to a go fund me have you given like a chunk of change you know i mean i i donate to stuff yeah but not never of uh the No one's voicemailed in. Like, hey, can I borrow 706 hours? We delete those calls around.

They don't do this shit. They never get to me. That's the only good producing eldest does is make sure that never crosses my desk. Good to know. Sidney calling it with a voice changer. Dwight's moving to L.A. I need another.

guarantor. Have you co-sign? Yo. I'm never telling y'all shit again. I try to be transparent and say, hey, I got somebody who's looking out. Somebody loves me, cares about me,

wants to make sure I'm housed and y'all like, you got a guarantor, your broke-ass, bitch-ass, no credit ass having hope. You got to keep more secrets. Well, I want to put it out there so people could know that, like, listen, you are who

your network and village is. That is actually true. If you have a whole bunch of people that's like, nah, I'm not helping you, then you got to look within and be like, well, why don't these people want to help me? And then if you're hanging out with a whole bunch of people, like, hey, man, I ain't got it. You got to lose those people. You got to find. Or again, one of the classic,

I'm with Sydney and then she takes a turn. I'm like, yeah, you're so right. It's about community. We have to be there for each other. And then we're like, if someone's broker than you, though, cut them off. Do not be friends with people. with less money than you. You need to be the brokest one in your circle.

I mean, I mean, I'm not bad advice. You are who you surround yourself with. But just one of you, you're the brokest friend. If you are... So you say you never have $100. Just never have $100? Yeah, man. I'm about to let you go.

Click. I've been removed from the group chat. Place another one. Big Eld. Hey, Stav, Elvis, and Guest. Here is the deal. I live in the Baltimore area. Nice.

My goobies last year. Loved it. Thank you. I live in the Baltimore area. My boyfriend also lived in Maryland. We met in November of last year. We kind of were doing like a casual, quote-unquote thing because he was getting ready to move across the country.

As we were hanging out, it got more serious. I fell in love with this guy. He fell in love with me. That really complicated when he got his new job in San Diego and was going to move. Here's the deal. We, I caved. We're doing long distance. It's really hard.

However, I think it's worth it. I think this is someone I want to be with. He already left you. I'm 25. He's 33. I feel like we've both had some relationship experiences that have really taught us that what we need and what we want. and he treats me really well, and I love him. The thing that I'm asking from you is,

what are the things I need to look for or be sure of before making a big move? I have family on the West Coast. I have family in Maryland. I wouldn't know anybody in the city I'd be moving to, except for him. However, I wouldn't move until I had a job lined up. And, you know, I am very personable.

I'm outgoing. I think I can make friends. None of that matters. I'm hoping for a little bit of advice on like what I should know before making that kind of a jump. So thanks so much, bye. I'll answer that.

Please. You got to have a job. You got to have money. You got to have your own shit situated. So then when y'all combine, you're not depending on him. He's not like, what would you hear again?

And I honestly think it would be even smart if she moved there and had her own place. You know what I'm saying? So you have that independent, you know, I am going to look for my own friends. I am going to be venturing out.

So it's not just like this codependency. Like we're living together. I moved here for you. You hate that. I moved here for you. And you're here now. So what's up? Are you going to mention this every time we get in an argument?

And like, that was me. I was like, well, I came to L.A. It's like, well, amen. You hear. You got mad friends. You connected. You can't get no job. So what do you want me to do?

Talking to yourself from three years ago. This isn't about this. at all I said I got this Do not move for this girl Don't do it No no no do it do it You've done it right

No No somebody's done it for you Oh yeah Yeah yeah somebody's Yeah and I'm not with that person Don't do it Don't do it Two examples of it not working out

And we're playing different sides Both sides did not We are not with those people It is genuinely hard I mean, this is a, there's a reason this is hard to do. And it's also interesting, I mean, how long were they together? She said a couple months before he moved. So they started last November.

Last November. Started casual, but picked up. All right. Nah, sister. Yeah. I mean, like, what is his job? Like, I would say, um, you all should have the relationship be adjusted to the reality and not try to force reality to match the relationship.

And the reality is, y'all live in two different places. If y'all can keep that going, then keep that going. And if y'all can't, then y'all can't. Like, maybe this is the universe saying, like, this is the test. Like, but I don't know if moving there for him when you have all this reservation, that reservation ain't going to go nowhere just because you win a new place. Yeah, I mean, because it's tough because it sounds like if they were in the same city, they'd just be, it's, it doesn't sound like she has reservations about the relationship.

She has reservations about the logistics of this. Yeah. But that is, you know, that's fucking. I mean, this cross-country move is hard. And I agree with you Sid, where it's like, you want, do you really want to do this? If this, you know, I think there's two schools of thought. One is, do you actually want to move to the city? If this guy wasn't in the picture, would you like your life there?

Can you find a job that you like? You know, maybe you don't like your job that much. You're ready for a change of scenery. And this is like a no-lose situation where it's like either works out with him or I, or I'm in a cool new city and I'm trying and, you know, you're relatively young. still you still have like moved to a different city for a couple years and if you don't like it move back that's still in the cards that's one school of thought or the other one is you're just kind of going all in on this relationship and you need to just it's it's almost like

don't have a plan B and just hope this works out I don't I'm just saying those are the two schools of thought I probably am more partial to the first one I agree um but then again sometimes these things only work when they're exceptions to the rule you know what I mean like I can see the logic of just like as soon as you get a job move there see what you guys have together and maybe figure it out sooner rather than later but yeah i think the first one is safer for sure and i think it's a better way to go about things um but i also think you should do it as soon as possible if you're really committed to this relationship also i don't know if she has a job now if she doesn't i think she does in in baltimore in the baltimore area i would say if there is a way that

just spend a longer amount of time there as like a little like dress rehearsal sure i feel like that can give some good data definitely uh and then just seeing like is there a way to where like because if the whole thing is just like you want to be around this person more is there whether you can do that without having to move your whole life just be like oh you're there yeah and i'm just only saying that because i'm living a bi coastal life now sure and i think there are just like eras being like oh i can be here for like a little bit i can be here for a little bit and i think if you can make it work you should make work so you don't have to change your whole life yeah is there a way you can work from work remotely and spend two weeks there or something and just see if you even like the city

you know you might fucking hate it yeah get a new job where you're at that allows you to have to be able to spend time there is that possible you don't have to like move your whole life is yeah that's and you know i've had friends who i mean i do have friends who actually did make long distance work and and and there is a period of it where it's like you're almost just both taking turns visiting each other and seeing each other enough. But even that you can only do for so long because that's also not reality, right? Like whenever a lot of long-distance relationships

feel awesome because whenever you're visiting, you're just kind of on vacation. No one's really living their real life. It's like we took time off, we're seeing each other. That's not day-to-day reality. So if there's a way for you to actually spend time there that actually feels more real, more like what life would be like there,

instead of like, let's meet up in the middle and go on a fucking trip. Or, you know, I'll come, you take a week off work. I'll come to, you know, whatever. Like, that, I think, that you can only do for so long. I think that's good as a sort of band-aid on a long-distance relationship. But, yeah, I think try and see, definitely have a job and have the amount of independence that makes you feel comfortable

and see if you can do a little dress for us. So I do like that. Get on Facebook, right? Get in the groups of Sandia. See what's popping. Like, trying to make friends, you know, see if they got groups, do that. get on hinge see what's the vibes of like yeah because just in case you move there relationship don't work you still have a job and you've made friends is there a possibility

for me to still have dating options because sometimes you could go to a dope-ass city people mid you just that's not what you want in a partner you're like oh it's popping platonically but not it's not popping for the pee so um luckily i have all these back backup's ready to go. Exactly. You should. With your secret hinge that you have. You should.

And then you should see if he's on hinge too. Yeah. If you come across his profile, then forget it. Then no move. Buy a house in Baltimore. Forget the whole thing. Facebook has a group. Are we dating the same guy?

Get in that group as well. That would be nice. That's an easy way to see if you need to get out of this. Check that first. Yeah. And that solves all your problems. Just find a reason to leave. Elis, you got something fun for us to go.

out on here, little buddy? What a bang. Hey, Sabby. I am a dad. I got a 10-year-old little girl who is getting bullied by three little shits in her little after-school club. So I was calling to see if you had any tips for, you know, And it comebacks that I could teach my daughter, at least to help, you know.

That's those kids that are trying to roast others. Appreciate it. Long time, call her. First time listener. Take it easy. Damn. Where are the women? I need, I don't want the dad out of here.

I need, where's the aunt? Where's the sister? Where's the mother? Because they need, because this bullying and stuff has gotten out of hand. Like, I see it over and over on TikTok and, like, the threads. It's like these kids are just getting so vicious. And it's like somebody has to come up there and hold these kids accountable. And it starts with, I need to talk to their parents.

And unfortunately, I don't need a man doing that. I need a woman talking to the other person, usually another woman. And be like, hey, what's going on? Where is the disconnect? Why do you have these kids coming here and making my child's life terrible? And why can a man do it? Yeah I don't know

I mean If he had a son Go there for your son Oh you think it's like a gendered bullying Yeah It's girls bothering girls I think it should be the opposite I think that the opposite gender

Should handle it So that there is Less of a chance of projecting your own Oh yeah That's a good point That's a good point So then you can come with like a more Dad's addressing their daughter's behavior

And then the women are addressing son's behavior that's interesting i mean i mean i do worry about the like uh what kind of bullies are these yes like are you get like when your parent deals with it that's then you then you're become a snitch in their eyes good yeah i'm snitching i'm sorry okay is it just like roasting is she getting like beat up like is it physical because like i think that changes it because if it's just roasting i would say you find information about their family share with her And get her, like, really run them jokes at the crib. Yeah, hire a private investigator.

I remember I was in second grade, maybe first grade, and I was getting bullied. And then I found out that the guy's daddy was in jail. And that's it. That's why your daddy in jail. And he started crying. Change, changed everything. But you see, that's in your blood. Like, you are that.

That's why you are who you are now. That's why professional. Like, you're a comedian. The way the dad is talking, you ain't got it, babe. Like, you're not going to, you are not going to have. Put it in an improv class. Yeah. You got to put it in an improv class

Get her quicker Yeah, it's not a bad idea to learn Stuff about their family Honestly Get them where it hurts I don't know I've just been watching too many of the Like these kids just like

Little kids just committing suicide And it makes me so angry And it's like I don't want to play these games This the roast learn about No get the parents involved And God forbid you have to take the kid out I like none of that oh we're just going to see how this plays out because then it could be too late and you don't know these kids are a lot of these kids are coming from broken fucked up home so they ain't got nothing to live for that's where you got to train your child I know I do unfortunately there's part of me that's like the worst part about being a parent is just you have to kind of seed control and your kid just kind of has to figure some shit out for themselves and bullying kind of is one of those things like how you like socialize you

all this kind of shit it's like it is definitely heartbreaking because it's like so sad when your kid is getting bullied

but I also wonder like we don't know the extent of this bullying right is it possible this is normal

kid stuff is it really over the top I don't know but it's like shit like this is gonna happen like your kids

are just gonna I got bullied I bullied people people were mean to me I was mean to people you just kind of have to figure it out I definitely

is like about to like rant if it's like Because I got bullied pretty bad when I was young I saw I was a crazy kid I have a whole like woman show where I talk about like trying to kill a bully in third grade I said how day you try to blow me

you have to die so it shouldn't get that far like you have to see like is it physical because like yeah like where is it and I think it is about just like meeting your child where they are and be like how do you feel yeah what do you want to do are you afraid like and then giving them tools because if it's just shit talking

you gotta just be like hey that you can't control what somebody's child is saying so you can but you can help your child fortify themselves and give them sick things to say back if it's physical then you can teach your child how to defend themselves but also that then put you in a place like okay i can't go to the school yeah because this is something that like that's a little far and even if it is if it's kind of the point where you do need to like yeah intervene i do think because i think that does solve things a lot sometimes parents sometimes like parents will figure it out like i think we had a friend who was kind of in a similar situation

and he talked to the other parent and the parent was like mortified and was like I can't believe my fucking kid would behave this way I'm going to figure this out that's a possibility but there's also the like look today it's bullying

tomorrow it's something else like and 10 is kind of unfortunately when like you kind of she's about to be in middle school there's no saving like how dare you're you haven't lived How dare you bully in elementary school? Kids are shit. Go to high school, go to college.

Kids are a piece of shit. Get a personality. You don't even have a personality yet. That's the worst bullying, at least for my personal experience. That's what makes me so mad. It didn't get as like, because you have a great, like, elementary school, I think is like the formative years of your life is the, at least for me, was the hardest time. And so I think just creating a system where, like, your daughter at least feels supportive enough to, like, come to you is like a good first step. Yeah, for sure.

That's good. You're a good dad. You're a good dad. And then, teacher, like, hey, this is how you take somebody down quick. Yeah. And I really actually do think it's not a bad idea to learn about these people's family. Like, it's not a horrible idea to be like, look, let's workshop some insults. If you want to use them, you can use them if you don't, you don't have to.

Because that's helpful on both ends, because it's helpful in them roast, but also helpful and being like, okay, where are they from? Like, can I talk to them? Are they, like, from, like, where they're, like, stats? Like, yeah, yeah. Is it a family of crazy people? Right. Maybe we shouldn't talk to them.

That is what backfires when you go to the family because it's like sometimes like, fuck you, you don't tell me how to raise my fucking kid. And now you have to fight a dad. That's crazy. And now I'm just so you get beat up. And now the whole family got to move. No,

I have a friend that constantly, like when shit is not working out, we're taking a kid out. Let's go. Like it. And I salute her every time because it's like. You think that's the best? No, because sometimes, no, no. Sometimes the school is fucked up.

Like, um, academically. or like there is bully and the kids are just too rowdy that your child is not really attaining any information the reason why they're in school anyway and it's like hey we're going to find another school this school is not the end all be all and like take them out if you have to I know but there's also a fine line between you can't do that every time like there is your kid has to

talk to my friend she she didn't done it your kid also has to learn a little self-sufficiency Maybe it's a little early for that But it's like That's the world sucks Dick People are shitty to you And you kind of have to

You have to kind of be prepared for that And so you know Do your friend feel like Her child has like benefited from that Like how does that manifest in the child Yeah Child is in an amazing school now I mean it took some time

But school is great Kids are great It was a long road But worth it As long as there's some stability At the end of the road That's important I think there's just constant

Changing shit can be kind of fucking tough But yeah, look, this sucks, dude, sorry. Yeah, man, you're great. You're a good dad. So at least, I mean, you're asking comedians who ain't got no kids. But, yeah, that's good. That's true. Yeah.

This really was a fun one to go out on all this. Great job. It was like, some light. I thought it was going to be like a 30 second, like, oh, I finally started eating pussy. It's awesome. But no. I didn't know it was going to get that deep. I thought you guys going to be like make fun of the kids.

All these children pieces. He called the 10-year-olds. What are you? Fight children. I brought up suicide. I took up really down. They really did. I said, oh, so we're going there.

Okay. But you know what? I do want to end on something positive because I always come here and it seems like I'm some, you know, some rough around the edges bitch that's just only talking about my old life

and how I used to have turn up and now I'm like getting my life together. I'm lesbian. But I am making strides, career rise. I had a half hour out on Hulu Oh, go watch that, absolutely Watch that Go watch that

I'm back on Disney Plus I'm on Instagram again Love that And um Huge Big things baby Big things Back on the Graham

Putting out a movie on Instagram You will be seeing it next year And that's how you went on a bang bitch So you needed me So you needed me Come on filmmakers So you needed me You're welcome

See you in Venice The bullying's bad thing I love it Things are up The stock is up For Sydney Those Titties are app 11K

I'm gonna get them done again Just so you know All right So y'all could do that by Following me on all of my Follow my podcast Let us know when you got them We'll get your back

When you got the new set in This was so fun guys Dwayne, thanks for being here Thanks for having me This is great Anything else you wanted to plug also Anything at the end here No

No you do You're social media Oh yeah sure Oh right I need more followers So I can get brand deals So follow me It's true

I love it Instagram TikTok It's Dwayne It's Dwayne I love it We'll link to all that stuff Thanks for being

You guys It was so fun Thanks for listening And guys, we'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye.