Stavvy's World - #165 - Ali Macofsky

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

Ali Macofsky returns to the pod to discuss her highly anticipated fat arc, her messed up dreams while traveling on the east coast, how she’s going bald, why she stopped seeing her unlicensed witch doctor, what some guys on the subway were saying about Stav, and much more. Ali and Stav help callers including an HVAC tech who’s wondering about the ethics of hitting on a client while he’s on the clock, and a woman who’s insecure that all her boyfriend’s exes have a bigger rack than her. Follow Ali Macofsky on social media:https://alimacofsky.com/  https://www.youtube.com/@notalimac  https://www.instagram.com/notalimac  https://www.tiktok.com/@notalimac   Thank you to our sponsors!Visible.com - promo code SWITCH26 ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Upah! Welcome everyone to Stavvy's World 9-04-800-stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. Returning fan favorite, Ali Makovsky. Wow. That's right. Bringing in 2026, as we all know, mid-January at this point. We were just talking about our New Year's resolutions. You were considering getting fat.

Yeah, I think I should get really fat. That would be awesome. I think like on it, I think it would be good for me. Okay. Spiritually. Well, yeah. I think all the above. Okay.

I think I think I just like need a change and I think everyone's getting really skinny right now. True. And so I could kind of tap into the overweight female comic. Zag. Yeah. Well, historically, show business has treated fat women really well. Well, I think for like one person. I think like you get one fat woman for like every.

five years. I know. That's what I'm saying is like it seems like a bad idea on the surface. I think it's a bad idea in general, but I think for me it's a good idea. I kind of see what you're saying. Because I do think I wear, like sometimes like I've never been very fat, but I think sometimes when I get a little

thicker in the face, I wear it kind of well. I think it looks good on me. You know, I don't want to disrespect you and it's not disrespect because I love the fat community. Yeah. I think you'd make a great fat person. I think so too. I think kind of spiritually, you kind of are fat. Yeah.

Because you like trash. And it's annoying to be my size, which is like very much average. Right in the middle. Right down the middle. And talk about food the way I talk about it. It's very like pick me like to the fat community. I mean on tour, remember you were fucking talking like what were you talking about your McDonald? Like you're.

I talk. Yeah. Anything. Like you just love trash. I love garbage food. I was just in Rochester and they're known for something called a garbage plate. And I'm like that's what I want. Like I love eating slop.

Yeah. I love slop. But it does feel like whenever I'm around fat people and I'm like trying to connect, it does feel disingenuous. And so I think instead of talking about it, I need to be about it. Right. You know? Put your money where your mouth is. Get fettish.

Yeah. And I like, yeah, I come from like a long line of, you know, heavy people. And so it's coming for you. It's coming for me. One way or another. Yeah. This is you rationalizing what it's going to happen regardless. I'm just like letting people know so they're not shocked when they see me in a couple months and I'm here.

huge. I don't want them to be like, oh. That would be awesome. I'll be like, no, I've been talking about this. I love that. I think you would actually crush it. Yeah. You do have a fat vibe. Yeah. You're laid back like a fat person. Yeah.

And the thing is you are trash. Yeah. Which there is a big intersection between fat and trash. And that's why I never take it personally when you talk about fat stuff. Yeah, I don't want it to come off. Of course. We're boys. I get it.

Yeah. And you know what? What's that? This is even more pick me. And I don't want to like infringe on your brand. Please. But it is working out for you. I'm balding.

I swear to God. I swear to God. I looked in the mirror. Okay. So I was doing my hair and I have it like I'm blow drying it. And so I have it half up, half down. And it's half up, half down. Mo, my boyfriend.

Of course. Shout out to Mo. We love Mo. He walks by and he looks at me and he goes, oh, my God. And so I'm like, oh, no, is there like a spider on my hat or do I have like a bunch of dandruff? And I look, there's a, there's a chunk missing. A chunk. A chunk.

A chunk missing. Wait. Let's see. Can you see it? There is a chunk missing. Do you see it? Do you see it? That is fucked up.

Oh, this. Do you see the bald spot? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm coming for you. What do you think that is? The spot? Well, at first I was like, I have a really high paint.

threshold. So I'm like, maybe I somehow ripped it out and just moved on with my day. And then I'm like, that's kind of crazy. And then I was looking it up. I started taking antidepressants. I don't know if you guys can tell. Are they working for you? You tell me. Is there a sparkle in my eye?

Not really. Okay. I wouldn't say sparkle. Yeah, that's been gone for a while. I don't know that you ever had one. I did. I did. Yeah, I remember a time where there was a sparkle in my eye. When you were drinking? Maybe six years. old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I met you

when I first moved here, and you must have been like a child. You were like fucking 19 or 19 or something. And I guess there was a youthful sparkle. But I don't know, not even then. You don't think. No, because weren't you already sober at like 19? I think so, yeah. That's, when someone's sober at 19, they were up to no good at 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you kind of, and you did do, I do, I feel like you did some wild shit. Oh yeah. Crashed a lot of cars. Crashed some cars.

Tucking and fucking all around town. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So I think you kind of used a lot of your sparkle. As we covered here, you were a child radio sensation in the greater Los Angeles area. Yeah, I wonder if that's when the sparkle faded. The Hollywood, the rock. You used too much. Yeah. Yeah, you had the rock star lifestyle. I kind of blew my load early. You were a seven-year-old that did prank calls on like Z-109. Pointing. or whatever the fuck it was. Yeah, me and Ryan Seacrest.

Oh, that's right. Your old colleague. He's lost the sparkle in his eye. Oh, the sparkles. Yeah. He's tough. Yeah. He seems like he feels like, you know, one of, um, do you ever see behind the candelabra?

No. The Liberace movie. Yeah, I'm familiar. Where he would get, like, hot gay guys and make, and like kind of drain them of their life force. Uh-huh. He feels like he's one of Liberace's boyfriends that's on the way out. Like Liberacea sucked him dry Well, they say, I don't know

Who they is, there was this one girl in high school, Rachel And she was like, you have to be careful who you sleep with Because the energy transfers And I was like, don't slut shame me, you bitch But now looking back That felt pointed at you. It was. And now looking back, I'm like there might be truth to that

Because the people who I slept with, they're not giving me energy. There's no transference that's like, helping me in any way. Well, I don't know that you necessarily read as a high energy individual either. You know, I don't think. That's true. I don't think anyone's fucking you and be like, I need some of that zest for life.

That's going. That's just oozing out of Allie's pores. They're like, I need a quiet fuck. I need to chill out. I need to silence. I need to silently. Yeah. No one makes any noise. Nobody comes.

Yeah. That's interesting. I don't. think it's like a chemical reaction of the sex, but just spending time around someone and caring about opening, opening up any kind of intimacy with someone, I think can lead to them draining you in a way. In a weird way,

if you just don't give a fuck about who you're hooking up with, I don't think they can drain you because you're, you're just like, okay, great. Then I think I'm the drainer. I can see that. Yeah, I might be the drainer. I can see people be like,

she just doesn't really respond. Like, she didn't really say anything. She was kind of weird. Yeah. I thought it'd be fun. What are you supposed to say during sex? I don't think it was to say anything. I agree with you.

And I think, I think part of it is, for me, my whole life is talking. Uh-huh. My whole life is performance and talking. So I'm not trying to, I have to have,

I have lines that I have to say. I have to say certain things. Yeah, if you're in the moment, I'm kind of a, I'm kind of a sexual pol toy. I have like three things. Yeah, you have three.

Your dick's so good. You're like a bop it. Don't stop. Don't stop. Nice dick. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. I'm going to come.

I'm going to come. Nice dick. I'm going to come. Harder. Harder. Twist it. That one still works. Pull it.

Twist it. Yeah, I don't know. But it's not, I don't think it's about saying stuff. I think it's just about feeling like an active participant. Yeah. You know? No, I mean, I'm a good sport. about it all.

Sure. Well, I just think you have general kind of like waiting in line at the DMV energy a lot of times. Yeah. Like you're very low. So it's like unless, and look, this happens where people flip. Sometimes people are completely opposite of what they're like in real life sexually. But if you bring like your everyday energy to sex, I can see that being annoying.

You know what? I feel like to when you're in a monogamous relationship, it would be out of character. to suddenly be like, yeah, what? Like, it would be concerning. Yeah. It would be like, well, I don't know. Who are you thinking of? Totally, totally.

You'd be like, are you cheating on me? Yeah. Are you overcompensating because you're cheating? I think with like a one-night stand situation, that's when you can, you can kind of Daniel DeLuess. You're like, what am I going to be tonight? I'm going to create this character. Yes.

That is interesting. Yeah, you can, you can, you're somebody new every time if you want to be. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. I could see that. Yeah, so maybe you're the drainer. I don't know. Have people drained me of my life force?

Probably. But again, I think it's not the sex. I think it's just their energy. Just who they are. Yeah. And especially when you really like someone and they don't give a fuck about you, that is literal draining of your energy where it's like it's all one way. If you're in one of those relationships, I could see that happening.

Relationship used broadly. I just mean like, I don't mean like actual dating. someone but the classic situation ship that's going around you know that's that's the term right now those are probably draining you but it's not about fucking basically I'm just trying to say keep

busting it wide open everybody just make sure you're doing with people who respect you. That's my general that's my general but don't put the titties away whatever you do yeah I've been having crazy dreams

in New York on the East Coast. Really? I've been having some very, I had the most random dream that Edgar Wright killed himself in front of me. I don't even know this man like that.

Like that? What do you mean? I don't know. Like, why is he in my frontal cortex? Are you a big, do you like his stuff? No, I mean, yeah, I do. The running man was, I liked it. I haven't seen it yet.

It was fun. I saw it on 4DX. Oh, fun. Glenn Powell's got the cheeks out. Well, but then I had a dream that Glenn Powell was trying to fuck me. Mm. He was trying to fuck me so bad.

And you were like, I'm good, Glenn. Yeah, I was like, Glenn, back on. I have a man. Oh, that's actually pretty nice. Even in your dreams, your, you know. Well, that's the craziest dream. I've had it. Which is so weird.

In my dreams, I should be fucking whoever I want. Yeah, it's your dreams. There's been two dreams recently where I've put my man first. That's actually beautiful. I don't like it. I don't like it. That's not how it should go. I don't want to be fucking my man.

my sleep. I'm not even doing it away. Now I go to bed and I'm like, yeah. That's how it starts. You're asleep and Mo's like, you want to suck Mo's day. You want to give Mo Head more. He just puts like hypnosis tapes.

You think you're having vivid dreams? He's like taking over your phone. In my Spotify. Yeah. I listen to Dateline to go to bed. The Dateline podcast, yeah. Oh, Dateline has a podcast. Yeah, Keith Morrison, his voice is so incredible for sleep.

Interesting. Fuck, I guess it makes so much sense that Dateline would have pivoted the podcast. Well, yeah, I mean, it's just the episodes that they put on TV, but it's just the audio version. Oh, yeah. They cut out, like, dead air when they're showing stuff. Yeah. Interesting. I guess, I mean, true crime podcasts have just eaten Deadlines lunch.

Yeah. Or I'm sorry. Dateline. Yeah. Yeah. lunch where it's like because they would all they would often have like a special about this woman had the perfect life until her husband killed her you know what I mean or was it her husband and I feel like a lot of those shows were the precursor um they they do more than just

that though right don't they what do you mean don't they do more than just like murder stuff no not really like Dateline yeah yeah no it's pretty much all murder yeah I've listened some date uh date deadline stuff recently and it's like just this vintage, trashy, shlocky tone that, like, you know, it doesn't go anywhere near as deep as, like, a good true crime podcast way, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's like designed to like watch on your couch while eating a TV dinner. So it's got its own little lang. There's just like a nice, there's a nice rhythm to it. There's a nice cadence that you can just lock into. A formula, a bygone formula. Absolutely. I get that. Yeah, I think, I think those true crime projects are just inevitably

going to get back to that though. Because like it starts with you really caring. And now it's, they've just become like these sort of money machines. They will get to formulaic at some point. But yeah. I could see that being sort of like nostalgic to be listening to that. Yeah, I've never got into like the two girls talking about murder with mimosa. Yeah, yeah.

I agree. The tone is all wrong. Yeah. At least Dateline has the, they have the decency. to pretend it's news. Yeah. Even though it's like, it's the same bullshit.

Totally. You're just like... It's like for the family. Exactly. It's like, you know. This is, yeah,

this is for closure and to warn people. It's like, no, it's not. No. No, it's not at all. But whatever, we can pretend.

You have a guy in a suit talking about it, not like a gay guy and like his bitchy friend. There's one guy on Dateline Josh Mancoeck's. I don't know Josh Mancox. I don't like his energy at all.

He's a pervert. Okay. And obviously that's alleged and there's no proof. but the way he talks about stuff, I'm like, you're sick. When you say alleged, just from you? Just from me. Just the vibe I'm getting, the way he talks, he's, there's like kind of a, like, you can,

there's a lot of saliva in his mouth, it sounds like. And I'm like, why are you foaming at the mouth, you sick fuck? Like, it's just, he's got a heavy mouth. Maybe a heavy tongue. Maybe a heavy tongue. Sometimes people, you can tell when somebody's tongue is a little too big for their mouth. Yeah, the way he talks about stuff. I'm like, shut up.

Beat it, Mancowwitz. You're sick. Yeah. You're sick. Interesting. Yeah, I used to be a big... We were talking about this. This is a real generational thing. Like, I will tell...

Like, the idea that I'll tell to, like, my nephew someday that I used to fall asleep to terrestrial radio feels insane. Oh, interesting. But I really was the last... Because we didn't have internet in my house. My parents kind of... My parents had a couple very foreign things about them,

which is, like, they didn't want internet. We didn't get, we got dial up when I was like, maybe an eighth grade. And even then you weren't allowed to fucking really use it. And we didn't have a microwave until, my dad just thought it was like too science fictiony. He was like, this is unnatural. It's like, what the fuck do you know about anything? Some guy, one Greek guy told him once that it was unhealthy. And we, but I remember getting a microwave and being so fucking pumped.

Yeah. But we didn't have internet. So I did in, like even in high school. like how you like listen to Spotify now or whatever I was fucking listening to music Like when I'm playing Madden I'm listening to the fucking radio And I would go to sleep to Love Line

On terrestrial radio And it is like That feels telling that to somebody now Wait what's terrestrial radio? I thought you were saying like you were listening to like alien stories No no no no no No that's just a word you don't know

Okay Yeah, it's funny because you weren't really a child star, but it feels like you got the level of education a child star gets where it's like they pull you out of school to act and stuff. But you just went to school with children who were, because you grew up in L.A. No, I mean, I grew up in Long Beach. Oh, Long Beach.

Yeah. Because I feel like I've seen Picture View with like the, don't you show like picture of you with like, did you go to school with the kids from Big Daddy? Well, their grandma was my neighbor. growing up. So they would like go to their grandmas and then hang out with me and my sisters. That's cool. But then they were such assholes when I like, I was working at Lemonade. Do you know Lemonade? It's like a quick service restaurant. I was working there. And one of the

twins came in and I was like, oh my God, like. Good to see you. Yeah. Like we grew up whatever. And it wasn't like one time. They were at my damn birthday party. Like I'm not some like weirdo fuck who's like whatever. And he was like, okay. Wow. Giving you the high hat. Yeah. And it's like we grew up together. We made cookies together.

We grew up together. And also by the way, you're not that hot right now. Like, you know what I mean? It'd be one thing if like their life was a nonstop. Totally. But it's like, listen, one of you's in Riverdale. Yeah. And I don't even know which one I'm talking to.

And I don't know which one you are. I don't know who you are. I'm just being polite in the way you do when you bump into. I'm not cloud chasing. No. This is just a, it's fun to run into you. I'm trying to close a loop. I'm trying to close a loop.

Wow. And that's the last interaction you've had with them? Well, then I saw one of the other, whatever other brother it was. I don't know. Or it could have been the same one. At another food service job I had. And I said, you know what? I'm not doing this again.

Yeah. I'm not falling into this trap. I'm not going through this again. Yeah. I said, do you want more water? Right, right, right. And he threw it in your face. Yeah. Don't fucking look at me.

Yeah. Don't fucking look at me. Anyway, yeah, terrestrial radio just means radio with an anthony. But it does feel like the kind of shit. Like when I was growing up, it'd be like somebody telling you they listen to like the phonograph or whatever. Or like I used to go to vaudeville shows. Yes. You know, it's like like if I tell a child that I used to listen to the actual radio, they'll be like what?

But you know what? They'll be like, what is the radio? By the time you tell your nephew, it'll be like, do you know what? I just discovered the radio. I just got one. You're right. You're right. There will be a swing back to having boom boxes.

You're absolutely correct. Yeah. I keep waiting for there to be a generate. It's not, I think it will happen, a generation that, like, thinks, you know, the internet, whatever is like, they want to get away from it. Oh, yeah.

I wonder if that'll happen or if it's just too ingrained in their lives, but I think there will at least be a subculture that's like, we're getting away from this bullshit. Yeah, totally. I feel like kids are going to start using, like, flip phones. I think so. Yeah.

I don't think it's, I think it might need to, it might need, like, a generation. Like, we might need to see, like, how fucking stupid some of these kids right now are about to get. Yeah. I think they're going to get really fucking dumb and I think there might be a swing back. My theory is that rich people

are going to stop letting their kids have screens at all and they're going to become way smarter. I think there will be a economic split on that type of shit but... How old is your nephew? He's a baby. He's a baby. He's like 10 months old. Okay, because I'm an aunt now. That's right.

And my nieces are like around two years old at the moment. And there's something really difficult about being an aunt or an uncle. Let's talk about it. Nowadays. This is a big aunt and uncle pot. I mean, we're both uncles here. This is a big uncle podcast. Yeah, because now I noticed it's hard to be an aunt because kids have like Miss Rachel.

Right. And so I'm like, I'm chopped liver. Right. Especially if you don't live there. Yes. You're interacting with them through a screen. Yes. And they interact with Miss Rachel.

Yes, but they get Miss Rachel more often. They get Ms. Rachel more, and she's bringing the heat. Yeah, totally. And it's like she's talking to them like, hi. And then they see me and I'm like, hey. And they're like, we don't like that voice. Smile more, bitch. Yeah.

They don't like your energy. They can't call you. Yeah. Would it hurt you to smile, Aunt Allie? It's not I have to, like, compete with this YouTuber. Put a little makeup on, Aunt Dally. I do notice. I'm like, I feel like when I see them, I do have to put makeup on.

Because I feel like if they see me looking haggard, they get scared. I didn't think that would be so funny. That's fucking hilarious. You have to fucking dress up for your baby nieces. Yeah. Because I feel like they want someone kind of polished. Right, right, right. And if I'm just coming over or like waking up, they're like, ew, you're scary.

That's so fucking funny. Yeah. Well, is that a different, like, does you, were you, are you the most low maintenance of your siblings? Totally. Gotcha. Yeah. So their mom probably. Yeah, my sisters are always like looking good.

Gotcha. Plus also like went into your own mom. Like they could look haggard, but they're comforting. Yeah. When you're coming in. But me, I'm stranger danger. Hi. Can I have a hug?

Can I have a hug? Hug me. How often do you see that? Are they like? I mean. Don't they live? They're on the road somewhere and they live there. Arizona.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't see them super often. Right. But there was a time where I was trying to, like, be the Miss Rachel of my family and, like, make videos and send it to my sisters to show them.

So they would, like, see me often. But I just don't have the charisma or the charm. Yeah, you can't compete. For, like, front-facing videos. You can't compete. Yeah. No, with these, she's got to dial the fuck in. It's brutal.

And, you know, she, yeah, that is very funny to be getting outdone by Miss Rachel. Yeah. I love the idea that you were trying to make stand. Not you FaceTime them. you're making videos for them to watch. Yeah. That's really hilarious. You're like, this is how I'll interact with my nieces.

I'm like a de-less celebrity on cameo. Yeah. I'm like, hey. You're making cameos for your nieces. Hi. You might recognize me from family. That is fucking awesome. I am, yeah, I'm excited to get a little,

I am excited to be in the uncle zone. My brother's in Baltimore. I just kind of want to see the kid like, I don't know, once a month or so, if I can, because it's not that far. It's also, but I have noticed, I don't know if this is true for you. Now I'm, like, pissed because I kind of have to spend the holidays with my family. Yeah. Because it's like, before it was so easy, it's like, avoid you fucking assholes.

I don't care about you. But then there's a baby. I know. You got to see the baby. You want to be there for the baby. Totally. Yeah. You don't want to be the guy who the baby doesn't know.

Yeah. Because it's like, and it happens fast. Especially as an uncle. I feel like it's similar to, like, dads where it's, Like, you could just be a loser. Of course. Yeah, you want to be there. Well, I've made peace with I will be the strange uncle.

Sure. You know, my life's bizarre. Yeah. And, like, but I need to be there at least so that by the time he figures out how weird I am, he'll have an actual relationship to me. Yes. I don't want him finding out who I am by listening to the Comtown Back Catalog. You know what I mean? I want him to have an idea of, like, the real you.

Yeah. I don't want him to have the same opinion of me as like, we're. Reddit guy. You know what I mean? Like I want him to actually know me and then be able to fill in some hilarious gaps. Totally. It will be funny how much we've put out of ourselves, though, for like next generations. I haven't even thought about that.

Oh, yeah. There's a lot. All our fucking disgusting material. And just podcasting. I mean, thousands. Like, I've been talking for thousands of hours. Yeah.

Now, luckily, I don't think they'll give a fucking enough about us to do it. That's the saving grace. Your, your nieces are going to be like, I listen to that busted bitch talk. Yeah. My like theory right now on on the internet and like being out there at first I was like, I was like, oh like I don't know. I just had this warped.

I think I was just dumb and I was like nothing lasts forever. And then with the internet, it really does. And so now I'm like, I'll do anything online because the more that's out there, the harder. Yeah, I kind of see that. I kind of understand that. logic. And I think to the most part that will be true. It'll just be if it ever changes, boy,

oh boy. Yeah. Will there be material out there to sift through? But yeah, whatever. Who actually gives the fuck? I don't. It's too late. By the way, too late now. Totally. It's nothing we can do about it. How's the vape? You charging the vape? I'm charging it up. I love it. So good.

I love it. Like, before I got in here, it was kind of like hitting in a way where I was getting heart palpitations and I was like, yes. That's the good shit. Yes. Yeah. Because I feel like I vape so much that I don't really feel it.

Right. And so when it kind of creates some sort of reaction, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Even if it's your heart being like, I need a break. Please stop doing this. But you're like, no, I'm having a rush. It's so good. Yeah.

What flavor we working with? Just Virginia tobacco. Classic, simple. Classic. Classic. Classic and simple. Yeah. With your Netflix as a joke, power bank.

Yeah. Got to stay. charge. I've got to stay juiced up. Perks of the fest. Of course. Perks of the fast. Love a swag bag. Are you doing anything about going bold in that patch? Are you just going to let it ride?

Well, the nice thing is I've shaved my head before and I look decent bald. Yeah. I can rock a bald head. You've gone fully to I might have to go bald again. If I go bald, I accept it. So you're going to get fat as shit and have a buzz cut? No, I can't do that. I can't be fat and buzz cut. You can't do both. You can't do both. You can't do.

Well, I'm just, I'm tracking the progress. So far, it looks like the follicles are growing back. Okay. And I've been blessed with a great head of hair. So I think I'm good. Okay. But I'm like, at first I was like, am I going to have alopecia? Like, am I going to have to be the new roast master general?

Is that what he's got? Alopecia? Yeah, Jeff Ross. That's hilarious. Yeah. He's got no eyelashes. No lashes. No lashes, no eyebrows.

Late in life alopecia? I've never even heard of that. but I think this is just a fluke. Okay. Yeah. But I mean, yeah, I can't be. It would be funny if you, if Jeff Ross dies, you become, it's like the Santa Claus where it's like, have you seen the Tim Allen's Santa Claus? Yeah.

Where it's like, he becomes a new Santa Claus and like within like a couple days, he's fattish and he has a beard. Yes. If you become the new roast master general, maybe that's what's going on. Maybe Jeff. Maybe Jeff is about to die. Maybe Jeff was about to die. Every time the balder you get, the closer to death he gets. Oh, no.

Maybe that's what's going on in your head. Oh, my gosh. It's going to be so awkward when I see him. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I didn't choose this. You're about to die. You're on the way out. You better brush up on your fucking roast jokes.

Wow. That would be nice, yeah. Maybe if it worked that way, if you got to just inherit the generalship. Me and David Tell are about to have an incredible friendship. Ain't going to be bumping mics. Yeah. Yay. You said, you said before we started that you on the train here heard some people talking shit about me.

Yeah, I didn't want to say that part. I was just going to be like, they were talking about you. Right. So cool, but they were talking about shit. You should have known there was going to be the natural follow-up. It was like, oh, cool, what were they saying? You're like, well, it doesn't matter what they were saying. All press is good press.

What? I recorded the tail end. Can you just? I was too late to get the full thing. We'll just give us like a run down. I'll set it up. Okay. I'll set it up before we roll the clip. So I'm on the train and there's three guys, of course, three white men.

And it starts out with one of the guys going, yeah, I saw Stavros at the gym. You know, Stravros? Halkeos. So I'm at the gym. Okay. So I'm at the gym. Can I shout out the gym? No.

Okay. Absolutely not. Yeah. Yeah. So they're like, whoa, that gym? He's going to that. What's he doing there? What?

Are you guys watching Stravi gets ripped? Come on. Also, how, what the fuck do they? Their assholes are, they're just some fucking three assholes. I'm on, I'm in, this pissing me off. I can afford a nice gym, you motherfuckers. I'm doing good. He's spending that much what to use the sauna.

All right. They got me there Or was that you? The sauna joke I've chimed in Yeah Yeah That fat cock sucker

What's he's wasting this fucking money for? I heard he was a planet fit He's only showing up on the pizza days Here's the tail end of that combo I don't think it's legal to do this Can't really hear Oh, he's probably just there for this Oh, they said that

They're not even laughing which I do. It's like, shit-talk me, but at least get a little enjoyment out of me. And I'm not opposed to mocking a fat guy, a fat stranger. But what kills me is they're not even enjoying being like, that fat piece of shit's probably just going for this song. They're like, yeah, he probably. It kills me because they're like, yeah, he probably is. Yeah, I mean, there's no.

I was working out, you fucking pricks. I know, and the guy who saw you there could have defended you and been like he was there. I saw him. He's using the elliptical. First of all, I'm following Arnold's, I'm doing the pump app. Arnold's pump club. Oh. And yes, on this season of Stavia gets ripped, I was doing mostly body weight exercises.

But I've started moving some real iron. Okay. So I don't know what this asshole saw. Although I will say if you saw me yesterday, I had a shoulder injury and I was going lighter at the gym. Okay. But I was moved. I was still on the machines. Let them know.

Let him know. This is pissing me all. I know. It's so funny because when you were like, they were talking shit. I was like, oh, they're calling me unfunny. They're, you know, they're just called, or they're calling me generally fat. But for a guy who saw me at the,

you saw me at the gym, motherfucker. What am I supposed to do? You can't win. You can't do anything with these motherfuckers. If he had seen me eating fucking pizza, he would have been like that fat cock sucker. But you saw me doing lat pull downs. Yeah, I did want to chime in, but I,

I had to kind of let it. Was anything else going on? Did you catch, did they move on? No, one. One of the guys got off and then the conversation pivoted. Yeah. It was kind of like group mentality. I think it was because there was a third guy there.

They're like, uh, and stov's fat at the gym. And then as soon as the guy got off, they're like, what does he do for work again? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It moved to him. Yeah. We were talking shit on him.

Yeah, totally. Okay. So this is not a good group of guys. No, no. This is a fucking group of jackals. And I think it was like a situation where I did want to chime in and be like, he's actually really trying hard to like. you know, get ripped.

And his brother's like a fitness guy. And like it's kind of all in the family. You know, it's kind of hard, you know. But the type of guys it was, I was scared they were going to be like, shut up, you're fat too, bitch. Like I didn't know where it was going to go. Well, that's right. Okay, I will say what annoys me about go.

So yeah, it's a nicer gym. We won't say what it is. Yeah. But it's like, I was poor and got rich through entertainment. They're clearly just, they've been rich their whole lot. They're clearly like New York rich guys who do. Do see things that cost more. They see it as an unofficial caste system

where they're like, we're finance guys. Our dads have been financed guys. We deserve nice things. Yeah. But some fat slob who clawed his way out of the mud through podcasting, he doesn't deserve to be here. And I will say getting to do nicer shit, I actually hate it because the people you're around suck.

Yeah. Like going to a nice gym, it's like I'm 36. and I've been working hard as fuck for like, you know, a long time. And I'm like, okay, this is nice. And then you're just there and you see like 22 year olds and they have like fucking like, you know, some Ivy League or an NYU sweatshirt and you're like

they didn't pay for that college. They didn't do anything. And it's like they've just had nice shit their whole lives. And it's like this shit, you should have to work to get nice stuff. Yeah. So anyway, fuck those guys. I did let them get to me unfortunately. I'm sorry.

But it is like, what do you want? the gym you fucking preach. And that would be such a flex to pay so much for a gym membership to just use the sauna. That is kind of a second. And I don't even use the fucking sauna there. I'm there and I will say a nice gym actually didn't

I thought it was going to be so awesome. I thought it would be like you walk in they give you a little fucking mint cucumber waters. Nice warm towel. Yeah, nice warm towel. It's just a fucking gym. Yeah. I'm going back to the regular one man. I'm hungry. I know that I got this for you as like a little gift. But could I just start lunch?

I'm actually trying to be healthier. I'm starting to get the shakes. Do you not have Brecky? No, not yet. That's okay. Well, why don't you just enjoy the gift you got me as your breakfast? Thank you. Because I probably won't.

I probably would have a bite to be polite, but, you know, I have some meal-prepped food waiting for me. Smell it, though. Oh, fuck. That smells fucking awesome. Yeah, fuck Elisa. It was bad. Suck my ass. Oh, yeah.

Where is it from? The corner store. Tough res to get. Tough res to get. Lisa, I apologize. I didn't know. I thought you just went to some dumb restaurant.

I didn't realize you, like, had to get a reservation. By the way, she didn't say it was horrible. She just said it was maybe a little overrated. Well, you know what?

I will... Because isn't this like Taylor Swift's favorite restaurant or something? Yeah, yeah. But I will say, in Lisa's defense, the first time I went, it was incredible.

And I did notice when we went, it wasn't as good as the last time I was there. That's the natural cycle of restaurants. Yeah. They get, and the cycle of everything. It was still good, though. But I could see if that's your first time going,

being like, this is a little bit overhyped. Right. But the time I went before was so fucking good. Was it still hyped when you went? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. So delivered on the hype.

Delivered on the hype. And I was walking down the street after my first time at the corner store, and I had a little to go to go box. And people were stopping me. They go, is it? good. Are you serious? And I was telling them. Just having the bag. Just having the bag. People were like, how was it? You're a celebrity

just by beating your. I know it felt good. And this, by the way, this is how you get fat. You go to all these fancy places. You seem like a power player and you're eating like, you know, all the butter. You're like more rolls in butter. You know what I mean? It would be so getting fat is the best thing in the world.

It feels the best. Being fat. Cheers. Kind of tough. Yeah. But getting awesome. staying fat your entire life. There are some health downsides. That looks fucking awesome. I'm fucking jealous. Wait, what is that?

It's an apple turn over? Save me a bite there, I will. The most engaged eldest has been all morning. Don't go too crazy over there with that. Like a sleeper. Hey, hey, hey, oh, don't fucking relax. What is that?

What's happening? Why don't we do, you know, before we get to the calls. Why don't we do a little update? How's, you know, how's your dad doing? We're big Larry fans here. I was actually going to say, should we call him? Have you ever talked to, have we ever called him? We haven't called him. We met him. He came to the show. Oh, that's right. You met him. Yeah, yeah. I met him. I met your cousin. You met my cousin? Yep, your aunt. Yes. Okay, so my dad is now on Facebook dating. Oh, hell yeah. So he's been, I don't know. Like, I don't know if you would want to talk to him about that, but he got ghosted.

He got ghosted by a woman in Temecula. And how far is that from him? Pretty far. So it wasn't going to ultimately work. But they were talking. But they were talking. And I met her. You met her.

You know, going kind of well. Okay. But yeah, he got ghosted. So he got to smash. Nice. He got to smash. Where were the applause, Zelda? Wow, you're blowing it, dude.

Okay. So, you know, still hit, though. Classic. You may have gotten ghosted, Larry, but you still have hit. Yeah. And that's what's important. Well, but that's kind of the tough thing is like she ghosted after they smashed. So I'm like, damn, like, what's going on with Larry?

By the way, what is he doing? There is something. I'm thinking about this where it's like, the worst thing that can happen to you is to fuck someone once. Mm-hmm. Because that means you did, you got them to, they took a change. They were into it. Because that's happened. The ones that hurt the most are not girls who just like never wanted to hang out.

It's like whatever. You get rejected. You're rejected. The girls that you like, I'm thinking of like particular ones where I did have to really charm them. And you could tell I wasn't necessarily their type. But I was crushing it so hard that I got to like smash. And then you never get the follow up and you try. Oh, that's a tough one.

Yeah, all that's in that. Tough one to get. To get ghosted after a one smash is maybe the worst thing of all time. Totally. It's not better, you know, it's better to have loved than lost than not love. It's not true of smashing. Yeah, smashing to different story. Yeah, you want to smash multiple times or not at all, in my opinion.

But he's had like a positive outlook on it. He was like, you know what? It was never going to work. She was in Temecula, you know. And so he changed his location to Arizona because he's beginning to move out there. He's transitioning to Arizona. He calls it La Arizona. Isn't that incredible? La Arizona's awesome. He's going to do, he's going to do just fine. Totally.

La Arizona. I need a La Arizona T-shirt. Yeah. Arizona iced tea. Yeah. Yeah. So now he's like, he's got these like Arizona ladies on Facebook dating and we'll see how good. Honestly, that's a good place to be a golden bachelor. Arizona. I feel like you got a lot of horny old ladies out there. All right. Good, good.

I'm glad to hear that for Larry. Yeah. He hit. He got to smash. Oh, and he's losing weight. He's on Wagovi. Wagoe. But he's starting to eat through it.

Yeah. Oh, I have some experience with that. Yeah. You got to really know your, uh, because I basically got Zepound, prescribed me by kind of a fake doctor. Like the kind of doctor that, like, you know. Oh, some picks like the new medical. marijuana.

Oh, 100%. Do you have headaches? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, here you go. Yeah, absolutely. And also, when you're, when you just look fat, because it's like, you need these guys, you need guys to fake it when you're like a lady who wants to lose like 20 pounds and you probably really shouldn't, or even less.

Like, I know people who like maybe had like 10 pounds they were trying to lose or five pounds, like crazy shit to get on it. But for me, there was no fight. I got prescribed it fast. Yeah. But he didn't really know what he was doing with the dosing. So I kind of wasted a couple months on the wrong dose. And I started talking to a different doctor.

Too low or? Too low. You're supposed to go up like pretty regularly. Like every month or so. Yeah. And I just didn't go up for like four months. Oh, that's crazy. So I just kind of maintained. I'm on a, I fixed my shit now and I feel it back and I feel like it's actually working again.

Yeah. But maybe so maybe Laird just needs to go up in dose is all I'm saying. Maybe. Yeah. He was really scared at first though. He was like, I don't want needles. And now he's just... Now he's fucking...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, he's a fucking... He's fucking tying off. He's got... Oh, good for Lair. Yeah. I love the Lary update.

Yeah. Anything, any other general updates he'd like to do? How's Moe doing? Is he still taking... Diary of medicine every day? Every single day. Every single day, terrible diarrhea. Yeah.

Mo's the man. Yeah. What's new with Mo? No, Daddy. I don't know. Nothing much. You guys are just kind of nice. Yeah.

My theory that you'll eventually just become a lesbian is that started. And he'll start dating like, you know, 22 year old. She's going to get nipple piercings and just be like a weird. I've already had nipple piercings. No, he's going to get the nipple piercings. Oh, wait. Why would he do that? Because I think he's going to transition.

Here's my view for him. He's going to transition to like a super sex positive like Dom. Oh, I love that. You know. But you'll be out of the picture. Oh. Well, or you guys have like a. You'll have a girlfriend.

Okay. You'll guys have like a weird poly thing. You know what I thought about. Yeah. You know. Because when you get fat, listen, you're going to get fat. I'm going to get fat. He said he would leave me if I got fat.

But I think you would be the same way you have like a fat vibe, you have a lesbian vibe. Totally. So I'm just saying I could see you becoming a fat lesbian. Totally. But who still has a beautiful relationship. The way gay guys who are in an open relationship stay in a sexless marriage, I could see you. you and Mo transitioning to a weird sexless marriage. Absolutely.

He'll be the father of my children. Yes. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. But I'll have a beautiful woman. You'll have a beautiful woman. He'll be dating like aspiring podcasting influencers.

Sure. He'll be getting sucked off left and right. Of course. He'll be into let he'll have leather. He'll be wearing like, you know, he'll have like gear. Yeah. He'll have harnesses that he puts women in and that kind of thing. You know, he's going to finally find himself at like 46.

Totally. That's what I see for you and Mo. Thank you. I like that. I like that. As long as he's still in my life, you know? Absolutely. Yeah.

You guys are both in each other's lives. Right. And this has just worked out. You're both happier. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about, like, the possibility of a threesome.

Mm-hmm. And just, like, the logistics of it. Of course. And I'm like, oh, like, yeah, I would just be so hard if it was, like, a woman because I would get so jealous. Like, you know, it would have to be, like, like, you know, it would have to be, like, like, like, like, like, a Robbie Hoffman type for me to be okay with it. And then I was like, you know what? Wow, that must be real hot for him to hear.

Yeah. And I was like, the only way I would be okay with us hooking up with a hot woman is if our first threesome was with another man. Because then it proves that you're like willing to do a threesome enough, you know? That's not interesting to me. Like you have to lose something to gain something.

And that's a great way to look at sex, with a relationship as battle. Yeah. You have to lose and then I'll allow you a victory after you've, yeah. And that's healthy. I'm a good girlfriend. Yeah. So it sounds like you won't be having a threesome.

But then my fear was that if we bring a guy over. Now he's gay or what? No, that the guy and Mo are just going to vibe out. They're going to talk music, podcasts, and they're just going to be like kicking their feet and giggling on bed. And once again, I'm just in the corner. Do you want to take off? Yeah, exactly.

I'm like, there's just no situation where I win. So you're sexually jealous of other women and socially jealous of other men. Yes. Interesting. So you would need a non-interesting non-binary person. Totally. That's maybe the only way you could have a threesome of a relationship, huh? Yeah, I'm not interested in a three-sum with another guy ever.

I just don't see that as... Call me old-fashioned. I think it should be a man and two women. You know, that's just a kind of guy. I am. But for some people, for the people it works, great, you know?

Yeah. Some people, some men look at that as a team building experience to fuck a lady together. Some guys are kind of gay. Some lady, I understand if you're a girl

and you want to get, you know, fucked by two guys. The way I like, I don't want to get fucked by two girls. If a straight woman wants to get, you know,

I don't even think I would want to get filled up by two guys. But I do love, like. You just want Mo to be suffering a little. Yeah. You know what I would love?

Not even sex. I would just want two guys to tell me they love me. I just want two guys to be like, you're so funny and beautiful. Yeah. I get that. That's sort of why I like the two girls set up because you just feel like a king. You feel like the man. You're like, fucking two girls are sucking me off.

This is the fucking coolest thing possible. And sometimes that's what it's about. tapping into how an idiot thinks. It's like your brainstem. It's not higher thinking. That's like, nice. Four tits are better than two.

It's that simple. It's really that simple. Yeah, now I'm thinking about it. I just like, my dick just gets hard. I'm like, um, let's do some questions, eldest. Actually, we probably should do some questions. Anything to plug here, Allie, at the halfway point? It is January, like we said.

Yeah. I mean, I'm on tour. I'm all over. Maybe when this comes out, I might be in Cancun, Mexico, doing comedy at a fish festival. Look at that. That sounds awesome. Yeah, I'm pumped. Fish festival sounds awesome.

Hell yeah. What is this? Jam ban January 28 through 31st. Okay. Nice. And then I'm doing other shows. Go to Allie Macofsky.com. Come see me.

The shows are fun. They're fun. They're fun. They're fun. Even if you don't like me, it'll be fun. Absolutely. I did a show in Rochester, 12 people in the audience,

The Late Show Saturday. Comedy at the Carlson. And honestly, I was like, I wish every show could just be these 12 people. They were good. It was so fun. It was incredible. Yeah, that's fun sometimes.

I had a great time. That's what's important. I'd rather have 12 good people than packed out like annoying, horrible people. But obviously, I'd love all my shows to be. just hold out. Please come.

Go to see Alley. She's hilarious. Play some calls, little eldest. Hi, Edith. I guess a quick question. Basically,

I've been with my husband for a long time. Like, we've been together probably like 13 years. I've been married for like seven. And we've always had a really good sex life.

But in arguments, like over the years, he's often said that like I'm not like initiating sex enough. So, but now I feel like when I do, he like he doesn't get off. Like we have the same sex if he doesn't finish. He doesn't come or whatever. And so I just don't like, I feel like I don't know how to talk about it or like what to say. Because I feel like whatever I say will be like dismissed or whatever.

But it just feels really weird. and yeah, I don't know if you have any thoughts or opinions on this. Thank you so much. I love your show. I'm going to see you in Boston later. So, okay, wait, okay, bye. That was a great show. You've already seen me.

I remember you and your husband. You guys had rekindled your romance. Wait, so does he not come ever or just when she initiated? That's what I'm curious about. It seems like from her call, it's just when she initiates. Yeah. Because maybe when he's initiating, it's like he's mentally, already there and so it's easy for him to finish. He's already half cocked. Yeah.

He's been thinking about fucking all day. Yeah. And so maybe when she's initiating it just, he's like a little bit thrown off or he needs more time to like get in the zone. But that's kind of, that's really cute of him. That's so girlish. As I was going to say, this is girl behavior. Because he got what he wanted and he's still not happy. Okay, me. Okay, me vibes. But it is, I guess one thing I'll say is, is it a problem? I don't think so. I think if you've been with someone for that long and like he's just not finishing,

I think that's okay unless it's like deeper than that. But if he is finishing when he's initiating, it just seems like maybe there's like a different way to build up to the moment. Sure, sure. I will say she seems exhausted in her voice. Her voice is that of a defeat. It's a really an alley situation where it's like that could just be... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't judge a caller by their voice. Yeah, you have resting, defeated voice. Yeah, yeah. I think that's just her. It's true. Every time you talk, like, if we'll talk on the phone, it's like, did you just get horrible news? You just hear your cat has to be put down?

Why are you this sad and low energy? All right, so maybe we won't read into the voice. Now, I will say, Yeah, maybe it's not a problem, but also if you're initiating and things are different anyway, why don't you try a different technique to get him to bust? Yeah, I forget what my little vagina witch lady said. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to. Are you still seeing?

No. It felt weird the last time I was there. Did I tell you? So her house burned down in Altadina. So to catch everybody up, Allie would go to an unlicensed medical professional who would finger her. So that she would learn how to come. I was getting medically fingered. She was getting medically fingered.

In a backhouse and all to Dina. So anyway, one of the... She would perform a ceremony, calling in all the spirits and acknowledging the land. She would do a land tribute before fingering me. This pussy is stolen land. Indian should be fucking, Allie. Yeah, she would fucking burn sage and it would be like,

ah! She would scream so much. She would. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The spirits coming out of your pussy. You'd be like, Ah!

Ah, ah, help us! But her, her back house. Her home was one of the victims of the fires. Yeah, of the fires. Your fingering witch was also, was one of the many victims of the,

of the Palisades fires. One of the untold stories of the fires. And so we were at some apartment. A motel. Yeah, we were at like an apartment. in the valley. And it was like shared walls with other apartments.

I was like, I can't let go in here. Where are we? Yeah. It didn't feel good. Yeah. So it was over. I've taken a break. You've taken a break.

But yeah, she described like, you know, men are very, fuck, I forget. It's like women need a lot of time. It takes like, it takes us like 45 minutes to be like fully aroused.

Sure. And then, but our response to aroused. is like guys are quick, guys are visually aroused. And women are more

like situationally aroused. That makes sense to me, yep. And so I think maybe like... Yeah, I could just not want to fuck it all. And if I just see tits, I'll be like, wait, I actually want to fuck really badly. Yeah. Like in like 30 seconds. Totally. So I think instead of... Shut up. Shut up. Being in an argument, somebody shows you your tits. Like, you win. Let me fuck, please.

Please, please, please, leave love. Instantly, I've lost all my power. I think she has to, like, really turn on the porny element. So instead of being, like, do you want to have sex, just suddenly be, like, in a nurse, like, in a maid's outfit. Or just rub his dick. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like, yeah, what is, that's a great question. What is initiating? Is it just like, okay, do you want to fuck real fat? You know what I mean? Like, do you count that as initiating? or do you kind of do something, whether it's an outfit or it's like, suggest a little touching, maybe a little like, you know, being hot about it. That's a good point.

Like, how are you initiating is interesting? And then try, and I think, like, when you initiate it feeling different is kind of cool, too. Try something else. Lord knows I have, you know, like I've said before on the podcast, there was some of the years I probably fucked the most. My dick worked the least because I was like so. it was just an addiction thing. Have I done some beating off

while a woman's there? I've done plenty of that. You know what I mean? It's like they can do some of that. Like mix it up. Make him nut. Let him nut in different ways. Try something different.

You initiating is already enough of a departure where I'm like, let you know, suck him, just jerk him off, suck his dick. Yeah. Do some tits? Yeah. Play with his dick while you think

while he fucking plays with your tits. Whatever. Do something different. It's easy to get a man to nut. It's basically my point. If for her it's a problem that he's not nutting, trying you nutting strategy. Yeah, I think that's great. You're already being more proactive in initiating.

Be proactive in getting him to bust his load. Yeah, and you know what? This is really corny. But there's a Gwyneth Paltrow, like Netflix thing where it's like all about sexuality and they have different experts on. And it was kind of fun because there was just shit that I was like, I would have never thought to do that. Or it like seems corny to do.

But then after watching it, I was like, well, we should like try one of these things, you know? So it's like maybe get a feather. Ooh, a feather. It's kind of fun or like blindfold. Yeah, some classics. Switch it up. And exactly, especially if you're in a rut,

it takes so little to make it feel fresh. Yeah. You know what I mean? So yeah. This is good that you're doing this. Turn up the creativity, just one more notch. And I feel like your problem might already be solved because it sounds like this is more your problem than his.

and she's like, can we talk about it? I guess you could talk about it. You could just say, like, I notice every time I initiate because basically what you've done, you listen to some feedback and you change the way you behave. That's important. You've done what you need to do.

So he opened up the dialogue. You can keep it going. You're like, hey, is there something you want to try whenever I initiate? Yeah. And then you might even have the answer. So keep at it, sister. We believe in you.

Yeah. What else we got, El-D. Hey, Zavie. Hey, Eldis. I'm calling a day to get some advice on an estranged parent situation. So for context, I didn't know who my real dad was for the first 21 years of my life. I'm 24 now, and he contacted me about three years ago, and we talked over the phone and

met in person and everything like that. There's no doubt that he is my dad. We look almost identical. Damn. But for the first two years of this kind of like on again, offkin relationship, he was a pretty bad alcoholic and so every time I talked to him he was drunk but within the last year

he has gotten sober and we did try kind of rekindling the relationship but it got to be kind of overwhelming for me we were seeing each other on kind of a weekly basis and he started kind of calling

me almost every single day and that would usually take up words to about an hour this is insane I didn't return his last two phone calls and that was about six, seven months ago and he hasn't tried reaching out since. And I don't know. I've started to feel kind of a guilt and not reaching out because I don't necessarily even

know how much I'd want to have a relationship with him. He seems like an okay guy, just kind of his worst enemy. But I know for him there's more of a sense of urgency because he's. in his mid-60s. He was a pretty bad alcoholic for the past decade, and he's had a heart attack and some health scares. And he squandered another relationship with a strange child, his daughter.

And I've talked to her. She doesn't really want anything to do with them. The fact that he's eligible to squander multiple estranged children tells you a little bit about the guy, but is there more eldest? Yeah, I don't know. It's just been It's been very funky And should I

Set my feelings aside And try and have a relationship with him Even if it doesn't necessarily feel authentic But just, you know, for his own sake Towards maybe the end of his life Fuck no Or should I just be blunt and, you know Say like, hey, you're essentially a stranger to me

I had the father's ship son Is pretty much sailed know. But yeah, any advice that y'all have on, you know, how you navigate kind of a funky situation like this would be greatly appreciated. Love the show. Y'all take care. Bye-bye. Nice, great guy, this guy is. I have lots of thoughts. Please. So I think, first of all, he's biologically, he's your dad, but he wasn't in your life. So you don't owe him anything. However, if you do, if you genuinely feel like you

want to have a relationship with him, you are more than entitled. But if you only feel like you have to do that because you kind of like set it up where you're meeting with him weekly and now you feel guilty that you're not, you don't need to feel guilty about that. No guilt. I think, especially with an alcoholic, if you do want to continue to have a relationship, I think start off with monthly, a monthly call and make sure the call is before like 4 p.m. You know, before he starts to getting tossed. Yeah, yeah. And then you can kind of gauge based on that how you're feeling.

Yeah, I mean, you hit it on the head with a lot of the stuff. What I was thinking to is like, you owe this person absolutely nothing. Yeah. I mean, he literally abandoned you as a baby. Like, I can't think of a more this guy, you don't owe a person anything set up, than my estranged father finally started feeling some guilt for the heinous thing he did to me as a baby and now he desperately wants to reconnect but also not that bad because you missed two calls and then he just stopped yeah clearly whatever you were doing was too

unhealthy i mean you she didn't say he called him he said he saw him once a week which is like i don't see my fucking in my mid-twin and here's the other thing you're in a period of your life where you don't really see your like mid-twenties might be the time you least see your family like when I was from like 24 to like 30, I saw my parents the least because I was like, I'm on my, I have my own shit to do. That's when you're figuring out your life.

I probably overdid it. Like I was dealing with my, I was dealing with family issues and I was like, I don't want to see these fucking people right now. I need to figure out my own shit. You are, you, what happened was you were on the regular path of a fucking person.

And you were about to go into a very independent, like, phase of your life. And then some fucking, truly a strange. more for his benefit than yours, clearly this is selfish on his part, reached out to you. And like Ali said, the amount of relationship you want to have with him

is completely your choice. If what you're saying is, I don't actually want to see this guy at all, you're totally fine. And you're like, but I feel bad. His other kid doesn't, it's like, that's his fault.

He could have been in your life. He could have left, but sent some money back, sent a car. every once in a while. You're saying you had a non-existent relationship with him. And if he fucked things up with you, that's not your fault at all. And I think particularly at this point in your life,

if you feel the need to just be completely not talk to him at all, I don't even think you owe him like closure or anything. This is the rare time I'll say like, this person left you as a fucking baby, bro. You don't have to feel bad because you don't FaceTime him once a week. as a 25-year-old, just because he's had a heart attack or whatever. I think he was clearly using you in an unhealthy way, talking to you to meeting up once a week,

like, especially after he got sober. Reaching out to you while he's still drunk is kind of a weird move too. Like, it'd be one thing if he was like, hey, I got my life together. I'm ready to have a relationship with you. I'm so, so fucking sorry, whatever. And now I want to be here for as much as you need. I don't get the vibe that that's how he approached it.

I think he was like, well, hey, son, I love, you know, and maybe I'm projecting, I'm reading too much into it, but the answer is you feel no guilt. You completely decide how this goes. And that's pretty much it. I don't think this person needs to be in your life. He's only in your life if it's additive to you. If you feel like it's a burden,

you can cut him completely out, and you're totally within your rights to do that. And the responsibility is like fully on him. So it really is like up to him to call you. If, you know, you don't have any responsibility to like make an effort to have a relationship unless you want to. But also you can pull kind of a reverse Uno situation where maybe you get really close to him. And then you go, oh, I'm going to go get cigarettes. And then you just block his number.

Wait right here, pop. Yeah, I'll be right back. I'll be right back. And then you can abandon him. I love that idea. Yeah. Yeah, and by the way, you can also decide the exact relationship you want and be like, here are my terms.

Yeah. Call me once a month. I'll see you in person twice a year. That's as much as I'm interested in. And if he's like, well, what kind of, you're like, all right, we'll fucking see you. Yeah. Yeah, this can't be a drain on you, particularly at this point in your life. And you might get older and you might decide, you might mellow out, whatever.

He might be, he might feel like less of a burden. And this, this can all evolve. The important thing is it's up to you. That's the thing to completely remember. This is totally up to you. Any right that he had to be an equal participant in your relationship, he gave up when he just completely walked down on you for the first 21 years of your life. So yeah, whatever. Fuck him.

Next question, Elvis. Hey, Stavv, Elvis and esteemed guest. I got a quick one for you. So I work as an HVAC technician So I'm in and out of people's houses And business is all day long Oh, I fucking work. Shut up, bitch.

No, go ahead. Oh, I'm in and out of people's houses. Who fucking cares? No, go ahead. And I've been trying to get back into the dating scene a little more Now that I kind of feel like I'm starting to get my shit together a little bit. Anyway, my question for you, is one of ethics.

Am I allowed to hide in the vent of a hot woman's house? And pretend, make noise, pretend somebody was robbing her and that I fought him off and hope that she sees me as her hero and lets me fuck? No. Go ahead, Elders. Typically, the ethics of hitting on a woman in her own home or in her workplace. Come on, man. You know the answer to this.

In her own home has been like off limits, you know, unless it's like. Unless comes out in the night town, you know, and like it would have to be like screamingly in your face obvious. And then I feel like there's a little bit more leeway on the on the business then in a workplace. I would love to hear your thoughts, though. This guy's awesome. Yeah, love the show. This guy's hilarious. The general rule is like no.

But general rules are also like there's always exceptions. but even if it's what I would say is all right he's a he said he's like an what is he like HVAC yeah so look if you have some building that you go for monthly maintenance and you've struck up a over a long period of time you have struck up a rapport with some lady that works there and she kind of puts a little hint out of like oh you ever been to this place it's so far like you can take a really, really calculated risk maybe if you have some kind of like general rapport with someone

and even that's a... When what you're risking, by the way, it is incredibly unprofessional, is my... It's like, but we all know how humanity is messy, attraction is messy, whatever. People have definitely... That's happened before. If you have it like that,

are you swag the fuck out to that degree? I don't know. the answer is the blanket answer and on paper, I'm saying no. You don't hit on a woman in her home, obviously. You don't hit on her, especially if it's like you and her and you're a maintenance guy. You know how fucking weird that is?

It's just you and her in her fucking house. And she's like trusting you to fix something and you hit on, that's, and you even bring the idea of like assault in her own home into her head. That's fucking insane. I agree it's, I guess, slightly better at the workplace, but that's also incredibly unprofessional. You're doing your job.

Like, what you're risking is your professionalism and on top of being a fucking creep. So I would say the blanket advice is no. And then, like, I guess, like I said, the only scenario I could see that it's even sort of okay is like, you've been servicing this place for a year. Each month, this woman, like, makes it a point to talk. You know what I mean?

Like, but even then, I just can't see this being a good idea. And it's like, no and look for, here's the problem. The person this would work out for is someone who's like, desperately doesn't want to do this. Do you know what I mean? The guy who actually ends up going on a date with someone is the guy who's like, you know, no, thank you.

You know what I mean? Like, the fact that you're thinking about this means it will never work. Actually, the more I batted around, that's my answer. You want this so bad that there's no way. way it's not a bad idea and it's not going to be creepy if you do it so yes no i'm sorry i talked a long time what do you know i think that's all super valid i completely agree i think yeah like like being the woman in the situation and like well there's there's another part to it what do you look like right how hot are you let's be honest assessment do you look like you work in hback or yeah

you know do you look like you work in hback in like a lifetime movie right you know Right, right, right, right, right. Because I do think if you are good looking, of course, the odds are more in your favor. Good looking blue collar guy. I could see a specific fantasy existing for certain women, sure. Totally. Yes. But I think, yeah, in general, I think you're right.

I do think the tactic, and sorry to sound like a perv, but I do think a tactic could even be to be so disinterested in the woman that it does end up working out for you, even if it's not genuine to who you are. Sure. But I also think, yeah, keep it. Don't make any moves because then if I'm the woman, I'm like, ew, and now he knows where I live. And now I have to be nice to him so he doesn't murder rape me.

And like, you know. And that's the other thing. Are the signs you're reading fear? Yeah. But I think, like, if you are getting, like, such a strong sense that someone is into you and you're like, undoubtedly this woman is so into me, then I think just giving them the opportunity. option to be like, oh, and by the way, like, on your business card, just be like, here's my

personal number. If you need anything. Yeah. If you ever need anything. That way, it's not like overtly, like, if you want to get dicked down. But like, and here's my personal number. Of course. There you go.

Moving on. By-bye. Yes. I think the only, again, it'll never work for you because you want it. And it's not like, because he didn't say there's this lady at this fucking accounting firm and she's so cute and she's always. It's just like, maybe something women will want to fuck me. get the job. And it's like, nah, that's, if you're worried about that. But yes, I think it's,

the best case is just look outside of that. This doesn't seem to, the fact that this is just a purely theoretical question means the answer's no. Yeah. If there was some real like, here's the situation, can I do this? Then it's different. But yeah, good point about the, are they being nice to you because they don't want you to kill them. Well, because then too, it's like, if I'm the woman of the home and you're like being a fucking creep you know what this could be a good business strategy because I would never want to fire you

because you know where I live and you're a pervert so now it's like great he has to come every single month yeah yeah yeah you'd be like I actually don't want air conditioning anymore thanks yeah all right how about a nice one to take us home eldest I'm stavey eldest and guest

huge friend of the show first time caller This is a super random question And I don't really know if it's a problem or not But I just would like some advice From a guy who loves big tits So I've been in a relationship for about eight or nine months now Love my boyfriend so much Our relationship is really awesome

And everything is great Except the one thing is that he is a tit man Which I have never dated anyone Who has been like a boob guy because I have like no boobs unfortunately they're just

small they're perfectly throwing tomatoes at her fuck you bitch what the fuck are you calling you're wasting our fucking data they're just small

they're just small I they're perfectly nice they're just small I have a nice badass but it just it all went there so Nothing wrong with that.

I just, I don't really know how to navigate this because I know that all his exes have had big boobs. And I just don't know how to not feel like a little bit insecure. And I don't know if that's something that I should like bring up with him or if I should keep that to myself. Don't bring up. And I don't know. How do you feel about this is interesting as a guy who like generally seems to like big ones? Yeah, I don't know. I've been up against this.

I just would like some advice. but that I am insecure, but also I know that he loves me. So I just don't really know what to do. Yeah. Thank you so much. Love the show. Bye. Well, I do hate that she's going through this.

Yeah. But I will say this is the closest. I think a woman can come to feeling what it's like to have a little-ass dick and know that somebody used to up with, like, like, you know, she's, you know, the last guy she was with had a huge diggers. You know what I mean? Even though she looked, like, there is something in the back of your head. head where you will feel inadequate a little bit, even though it's stupid, right?

It's the classic, it's become hack at this point where people say, boyfriend dick, or you've got the perfect dick. Like, that idea has been around now probably like five, ten years in comedy. But it is a real thing where you don't want to hear, you know, oh, another hack thing, like from memes, like, oh, the big ones hurt. You know what I mean? Like, I love yours, whatever. But it is true.

Yeah, but it. And I do know, and that is true, I do know women who swear, and I believe them that they like a little ass penis. But so for you, though, speaking from experience here, I think, I mean... I don't think guys would put up with something they didn't like. I feel like guys are very blessed in the sense that they only, for the most part, do what they want to do. Like, guys don't have the woman thing of like, well, I don't want to upset anyone.

Like, I'll do it even though I don't want to. are very much like, I'm not interested. I don't want this. Plenty of cowards will... Sure, but I think... On a sexual level, you're talking. Eight months, nine months, girlfriend, boyfriend, if he really did not like...

Your little-ass tities, he wouldn't be with your little ass tities. Yes, I agree with you. And I also think, like, yeah, okay, I talk about how much I love big-ass titties. I also love little tities. Yeah. That's the thing.

In fact, you know, I love... I like fucking girls with little tits. I like fucking, you know, all types of different gals. But I've had that problem where I've, like, met someone and like, or so, like, I'll be at a show or somebody to be like, you know, I was going to send you nudes, but I know you don't like little tits. And I was like, what? I would have fucked you lady? And she's like, you know, before I met my boyfriend, I really wanted to hook up me, but I have little. And it's like, that is a weird thing where women have said that to me.

It's like, first of all, you think, I was like, you're a hot woman who's like self-conscious because your tits are small, but you're hot as shit. It's like you're beautiful. He likes you. He loves you. He also wasn't under the impression when you first met that you had big tits. Right, right. You didn't sneak your little tits onto him. But yes, I think this is a complete like, and I get it.

People are always going to be worried about their body. Like I said, I've had that worry of like, my fucking shit too small. You know what I mean? Like, am I like, it's funny because it's never been about my body, even though I've been fat my whole life. I've never been like, am I too fat to fuck this woman? So I was like, it's my little ass dick too small? It's regular, by the way. Everybody relaxed.

Nor, it's not that fucking small. But you're fine. And I think this is just like, it's just body image stuff. It's just like women are told their bodies are bad in a hundred different ways. Yeah. I also think it's normal, like, pattern recognition. I think like with the exes, if you're like, okay, big tits, big tits, big tits. I think if anything, like look at it as a sign of like he's done.

with that. Like he might still like them, which is fine, but like he's had enough and he wants to move on to your tiny little tits and your big heart. Yes, exactly. And not even he's done with that, but it's like your relationship transcends those things. Yeah. Right? Because it's like, not to be corny, but that's the truth of there are different relationships where it's like, yeah, sometimes it's about pure physical attraction. And if you don't, I think people who have a real type no matter what are kind of sociopaths or like, I don't fuck anybody. who doesn't look like this. It's like, well, then you're not looking for a person.

Yeah. You want to fuck a thing. You want an object. Yes. And so I think real relationships, oftentimes people end up with people they never would have thought. Yeah. Because the attraction is so much, it exists on a higher plane than pure physical attraction. So I would see this actually as a good thing, as a sign of an even more powerful connection.

Yeah. And I think like as a girl who's like kind of crazy and just. jealous. Like, yeah, I think the more you can just be confident in yourself and not bring it up. I just love the idea that you're like, Mo is fucking so much pussy. Yeah. Yeah. Just the nicest, most mild-mannered would never cheat guy I've ever met in my life. You never know. I'll be home tomorrow, babe. Make sure the house is clean. I literally, I'm so fucking crazy. Like when I get home after I've been gone for a while, I'll like look in the shower to see if any of the products are moved. slightly.

You put markers on all the girls body wash. We're just bathing his horse with my saint Ives or whatever the fuck. But yeah, I think try not to be like me and just be chill and know that... Know that you're cool with your little boobs

and that's fun and cute. Yeah. No, you're doing great. You're really overthinking this, I promise. But good luck to you. I think you're going to do great. Allie, thank you. We look forward to more. updates. I can't wait to hear how Larazona goes. Oh yeah.

I, you know, keep us abreast. If you and the Finger Witch ever, you know, reconnect. Rekindle. Yeah. If she ever gets a standalone property to finger women in, let us know. And yeah, go see Allie live. You know,

we're on tour right now, probably. Damn. Bus tour started. I want to go back. We'll bring you back. Please. We'll bring it back for a week. This is, this is. tour is going to be a little weirder. It's not the whole run, but we'll bring you back. Actually,

we'll definitely bring you back on some. And we have some weird casino gigs that are, yeah. So we'll bring in a couple of those. All right, that's going to do it for us, guys. Thank you. And we will talk to you next week. Bye, bye.