Stavvy's World - #172 - Nick Mullen and Dan Soder

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

Nick Mullen and Dan Soder return to the pod to discuss the Austin Powers series, Jeffrey Epstein, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro’s kids, risking it all for Rogue from X-Men, Aunt Becky’s incarceration, back problems, and much more. Nick, Dan and Stav help callers including a man whose widowed dad is having an affair with his late wife’s married friend, and a salesman who’s considering tattling on his coworkers who are juicing their numbers to get better leads.   Follow Nick Mullen on social media:   https://www.instagram.com/mulldogforever https://www.tiktok.com/@mulldogforever https://x.com/nycguidovoice   See Dan Soder live and follow him on social media:   https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder   https://www.youtube.com/@DanSoder   https://x.com/DanSoder   https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy     Thank you to our sponsors!! Visible - https://www.visible.com/catfished switch now! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!!   ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!   🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets   ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello, everyone. We have a very, very fun show with my old pals, Nick Mullen and Dan Sutter coming up right now. And yes, I am parked at a Wawa. But don't worry about that. What I want you to worry about is the fact that the Dreamboat Tour. The final leg of the Dreamboat Tour is kicking off soon. And a lot of the dates are sold out, but we still have tickets for Jacksonville. Atlanta. We just added a second show. Buy those tickets up if you're in the ATL. What are some other big, Rochester, Milwaukee, buy those tickets. And also, Also the Baltimore special taping, April 24th and 25th, four shows. Three are sold out. There's a few tickets left to the Friday Late Show. Come be a part of the special taping. We're going to tape all four shows. The best stuff will get into the final product. So anyway, enjoy this.

Super fun episode with two of my favorite guys in the world to riff with. I think you're going to have a nice time. See you on the road. Opa! Welcome, everybody. Stavvy's World 904-800 stop. Call in. We'll solve your problems.

I got my good pals, Nick Mullen, Dan Soder on the couch in the makeshift, Lowery Side Studio. I feel like I'm in to do the stunts for Adam. We need a guy that can jump through a wall. All right. Is it union? Union scale? All right.

What are you guys going to call me some kind of gay? And then I'm going to jump through a wall. Have you ever seen Rad, the BMX movie? I love you. They didn't even make it. an attempt to hide that all of, what's the aunt's name from, uh, full house. Oh, Becky. Aunt Becky plays the, have you seen Rad?

She's the hot girl in Rad. Yeah. So rat in Rad, rad, rad is young Aunt Becky. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. And Becky was hot. And Becky still is hot.

She's in prison now. Oh, she was, um, married to Mossimo, right? The guy, Mossimo shirts. Maybe. She's in prison. She was the, she bribed, the, she had her husband. It's like the guy that looked at, I think I'm, I think I'm, I think, husband like owned the shirts I wasn't allowed to buy in middle school.

You weren't allowed to buy Mossimo? It wasn't at Target yet. What, Mossimo wasn't at Target brand? They became Target after I got out the game. Oh, wow. I wish I would have got Mossimo. I know what you mean because I remember buying a Mossimo P coat and being like, I'm fucking rich, dude. From Target.

Oh, I thought you said you weren't allowed to buy it because they were like, your mom was like, I hate. Oh, Italians? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, I don't fuck with fascists. Oh, okay. I was like, what?

Did Grandpa die in the World War? No, he didn't even serve. If you don't know, RAD is a BMX movie, and it's like one of those 80s movies where it's like the bad guys come into town with bad BMX. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they do evil BMX. But Aunt Rachel.

Aunt Becky. Aunt Becky has to, are you sure? 100% positive. It's Becky for sure. Who the fuck is Rachel? Damos put twins in her in full house. I was like, damn right, you did. Who's Aunt Rachel then?

Is there an Aunt Rachel? There's a Miss Rachel. Miss Rachel. On full house? No. And full house was just Aunt Becky. Miss Rachel, you know, the child educator who's poisoning our children's minds. This woman gives all of her time to help it. Oh, Miss Ray.

Yeah. She's the one who's like, Palestinians are children too. And then people are like, not anymore, bitch. She's a fucking piece of shit. Now they're targets for this complicated weapons system. Imagine how fucking one piece of shit you have to be to see that lady and be like, she is my enemy. Like the nicest woman you've ever seen in your life Just like a guy throwing a knife at a wall

Back in the day about Mr. Rogers Taking your shoes off when you come in the house Kind of queer shit is that Mr. Motherfucking Rogers Shout out to him not having any creepy Thank God, dude Because the one in England got caught fucking all That's more of an English thing

Rather than children's entertainer That's the spoil of being British Who was he? Gary Glitter That's a different petophile He was the one that did the stadium music. Yeah. That was such a bad...

But he's also a pedophile, but no. He's such a bad pedophile. He got kicked out of Thailand. Jimmy Seville. Jimmy, yeah, yeah. And he was like... He got kicked out of Thailand? It's Gary Glitter.

Oh my God, dude. Gary Glitter. That's like when Homer gets kicked out of the Chinese buffet or the all you can eat seafood buffet. Dude, that's insane. They go, Who? Who?

That man over there. And he's doing, he's doing three. three to a lap. He's got a six-pack on his lap. Fuck, dude. That guy just thought, like, the Epstein list was about sellouts. He was like, he was like, no, man, I'm not for all that corporate pedophilia. I'm in the jungles of Thailand getting kicked out.

Farm to table, kicked the penis to my mouth. Oh, you guys went mainstream with that Epstein shit. Oh, you're hanging out with Bill Clinton. Oh, now pet, now even the Jews get pedophilia. They don't get it. I need you to eat an anti-Semitic. I need the monkey brains before I get sucked off by the kid. Yeah, shut out.

Actually, no, no shout out to Gary Glidden. I was almost going to say shout out. Die of painful death. I'm going to say no shout out to Gary Glitter. But Jimmy Saville was like the, wasn't he like British Mr. Rogers? I don't think he was quite Mr. Rogers. I think he was like, but he wasn't like purely. He's like a Willie Wonka type.

Yeah, yeah. He was, yeah. Just Pratt falls. I don't think he did like a child show. Yeah, didn't he do? I feel like every, all of British television is just like a different gay, like a different gay guy or like a different guy that might not be gay just barely host like having a dinner party.

Because they're all having, every British television. Every British shows like those panel shows. They're like, oh, you know. I've only seen the sitcoms. Yeah. No, they have like those sit down shows. Like who's taking your number. Oh, like Graham Norton?

Or he's like. Oh, that one. Yeah. Yeah. But they all look like they're at like a airport. lounge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looks like a pretty fun show.

It's always like Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts. It's like our... It's like our elite A list. And then a guy that I've never seen from Britain that everyone loves. Yeah, he's on some sitcom about like gardening that's been on British TV forever. British TV fucked me up because of the lighting. It was always lit different. And that to me was like, that's not TV.

Yeah. Lit like shit. I never... All I watched was there was one show in a... in a, like, department store. The hotel, too. Faulty towers. Faulty towers is the bed and breakfast, right?

I think that's a department store. Is it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched that and I thought, what's his face for Monty Python was in it? John Cleese. But it wasn't. It was just some different British guy.

Damn. And I remember, like, bragging, being like, I know all about British shit and showing it to someone being like, check it out. This show, John Cleese is all on. I've never watched any, I've watched maybe one episode of the British office.

And then a lot of kids. keeping up appearances, but that's it. Outside of that, I haven't seen any of them. I don't know what black adder is. It's a thing. Oh, is it? Mr. Bean. No, Mr. Bean's fucking.

Well, I would like to go back because I was thinking about Mr. Bean in my head the other day, and I'm like, that has to be bullshit. No. I watched it now. It has to suck. Well, it's pretty good. Is that good? Mr. Magoo?

Yeah, like almost falls and shit. Mr. Bean just gets himself into situations and facial expressions. The one I remember is him going around his house, like using a gun to turn off things. turn the lights off. But that shit's funny. He does. I think it would hold up. I think he...

I think he... Brow... Yeah. Court testimony against him. They just play that back. Is this you? Well, it's crazy because he had someone's success

with Mr. Bean, and they let him do that one spy movie, and they're like, we've had enough of this guy. Well, there was rat race where he was also pretty much Mr. Bean. He was Mr. Bean in that. And then, yeah, they made him, like...

Johnny English. They did Johnny English. And it's funny because Johnny English is, like, very... I think it would catch on now. because what it was, you know what it was? It was kind of like Tim Allen core where it's like these young guys don't know shit.

It was kind of a boomer, a boomer spy thing where it's like, like somebody had hacked computers so he had to use analog stuff. So they're like, we have a hybrid car for you, you know, Johnny English. And he's like, what am I a fucking homo? Yeah. And he asked for the old school like, you know, muscle car or whatever,

I don't know, whatever British car. And they're like, and it doesn't get hacked or something. something. I don't know. I saw like five minutes of it. That's way more information than I had on Johnny. I believe that's what happens in Johnny. I imagine it failed because it came out at the same time as Austin Powers, which was so much better. No, did it? It's the same general, like a 20-year window.

20 years after. 20 years were a British spy. I feel like some point in my life. In like 2000 something. Yeah. 2003. When the gold member come out? 2002.

Gold member's got to be like 2002. But gold member sucked. No. We rewatched it. Gold member, actually the best part is gold member. You can't say

Mr. Bean holds up without checking and then say gold members. The fall off of Spy Who Shagmey in their gold member is crazy. The first two are great. Spy who shag me, a regular awesome power of spy who shagged me,

the fall off of... Which is the one with Mini Me where there's the silhouette and they just got the penis? I think that's Goldmember That's one of the funny They did that gag in too though But that yeah

But that also But that scene where he goes Where they There's one lab coat And he goes One of us is gonna have to get On the other shoulders And he's got the tiny legs

Yeah that is good That's one of the funniest Anything anyone's ever done But I will tell you The problem with gold member Is that Beyonce Very clearly There was a note

That's like she can't be horny publicly Why? On the other ones Do they think it was gonna cause chaos? I don't know But the other two It's such a horny

It's a sexy... Black women will be in this British fox? You should be like a scary animal. They go, no, no, no, you don't understand. She can be, like, sexual. They go, she can't. That's how you get more of them.

It's gonna scare everybody. She's horny in one scene. You're next, they know there's eight of them in the next. The British were two racist against Beyonce in 2003. You guys need to turn this down. They lay eggs like spiders. If she's horny, we could have nine Beyonce's by the end of this filming. I don't sound so bad.

What if Beyonce was really stupid and she hated Michael Myers, but she thought all the characters were different people. Oh, that's funny. So she was like fucking fat bastard. That's really funny. And she thought it was a secret between them. And then Michael Myers just thought she was kinky. Mike Myers was just like, she's crazy.

He tried to fuck her as Dr. Evil. And she's like, what, you know, what are you doing? I'm dating fat bastard. She doesn't know what movies. We're all coworkers here. Mike Myers is like, The Pussy's so good I go through three hours of prosthetics. He's got to sit there.

He's got to be lectured by a Navy seal on how to withstand torture to fuck Beyonce. Jim Carrey, right? Yeah, that was like Grinch. He actually hated it. But I will, there is a sexual chemistry missing that the first two have because Beyonce clearly this was like her,

she wants to be in a big franchise. She wants to be a movie star. But it's that thing that happens. happens sometimes when it's like very famous people try and sanitize the shit. Sure. So it's like clearly they have this weird and non-sexual relationship and it that zaps Austin completely. Yeah.

He actually has lost his mojo more in Gold member. Interracial dating. Yeah, because, yeah, for whatever. Oh, God. But the first two are. Which is the one where he's got the car. That's the first one. Okay.

That was also amazing. I mean, amazing. There's the bits in that. Yeah. Also, what fucks up Austin Powers for me is like the same thing when you find out Eddie Murphy was supposed to be in Ghostbusters. You find out Colin, Mike Myers wrote Scott Evil for Colin Quinn. Yeah, which is so funny. I didn't know that.

It makes so much more set. He turned it down. Colin Quinn was like, I want to be a part of this gay-ass movie. I think what he told me is he was like, I don't know, I got something going on. And Mike Myers was like, I want to put you in this movie. He's like, nah, I don't know. But it would have been so much funnier. It would have been a lot of funny.

30-year-old guy from Brooklyn being like, I don't know, I love you, Dad. It makes so much, the character makes so much more sense if he's older. If he's like, I can just go get my gun. Come down here, we shoot him both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that's so much funnier to me.

Do you think, if, now, would we have ever gotten robot chicken without Seth Green's juice from being? He was doing fine. Seth Green was in Airborne, the rollerblading movie. Was he in comedy movies before Awesome Powers? I think he was in that teen movie. He was on Buffy, but he was doing shit.

Seth Green had been working. He was doing the N-word? But was he, was he like a comedy guy before that? He was what? I feel like he's, he's that teen movie where he's pretending

to be like, a Sagalo-style white rapper. Yeah, first off, don't put special K. Can you tell him to stop rapping so much? I will. I'll pull the reins. Can you tell him to just be like,

look, Sagalow? I need this. One a weak max. I need to, I need to Caesar Malonum. I go, too many bars. You get 32 bars a month.

It's so awesome. But he legit wants to be a white rapper. I didn't know this was happening. Dude, he's the man. He is good. He's good. He's technically good at it, but you gotta dole those out slower. Yeah. Distribution. Just from a friend. Friend to friend. I'm rooting for him.

Oh, but you're talking about can't hardly wait. Can't hardly wait. Great movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel like he was like a supporting comedic like teen. Yeah, but not like an over-the-top. No, probably not. Yeah. Yeah.

But robot chicken rules. So do you think that happens because of Austin Powers? He's got a lot of juice. I'm saying if you're not Scott Evil, do you have the juice? Probably not. I don't think so. They wouldn't trust him. So unfortunately for Colin, you know.

We would have got a couple more seasons for tough crowds. That's interesting. Honestly, I would rather have Colin done it. And Robot Chicken really is the thing that you watch when the thing on an adult swim that you actually wanted to watch was over. American Dad's over. You're like, I'll watch seven minutes of fucking. It's fun. Robot Chicken.

well. I watch Optimus Prime, you know. Yeah, in therapy. Yeah. I don't know why. I was touched. I want to go back and watch Goldmember, though, to see Beyonce have no sexual chemistry. You should watch it and report back. And honestly, we all thought, we watched it on the bus. It was the final movie we watched the end of the tour.

The driver, too. Yeah, the driver. What's going on, back? Looking back. DeCi, he's got a little mirror. watching Goldmember. There's no sexual chemistry. 80 dead after.

Yeah, fucking stob's going to get Tracy Morgan, but it's by a company with no money. Yeah, dude, fuck. They're going to sue you. Yeah. They're like, we got him. Fuck, dude.

I've been loving these dash cam videos of the Sikh truck drivers. I haven't been following. What's going on? Oh, man, there's like three accidents now where the first one was hilarious. It's like the Sikh guy just tries to make a U-turn on the highway.

It's crazy. And then his buddy is just in the truck for some reason. I didn't know you were allowed to bring your friend with you. Overseas truck driving from what I've watched on the internet. It's a buddy system. They do that here. There's a Sikh guy and he's like just trying to make an illegal U-turn on the highway. And he turns from the right-hand lane on the,

and then the viny van comes through and decapitates you like the whole family. And it goes under and he's just like, No. Keep going. They didn't get the side. No, and there's been a couple more where they just kill like a hundred people. Yeah,

and a big pile up. Just why? Just being bad drivers. I don't know. You've met Sikh guys. They're all like just so chill. They are pretty chill. I think they're maybe too chill to drive a semi.

That's true. They are chill. Aren't those? Is it? Are they the ones that carry the swords? The dagger. Yes. It's a dagger.

Every Sikh guy is a warrior. You know what I found out recently? You know, you many guys? They have that thing in their belt. Mm-mm. It's a, it's a sword. I thought it was a paintbrush. In case they just had to bust out an oil.

It looks like a paint brush. Or based some chicken. If you look at, yeah. I was trying to baste recently, and I didn't have a brush. I was pissed off, dude. Yeah, well, that's why they got that thing on. I would love that. You want to glaze something?

I want to do an egg wash over a fucking, I made some Greek yogurt bagels, and I had no paintbrush. It pissed me off. Mm-hmm. So I might start doing it. doing that shit. You get into painting. Yeah.

I get into painting through egg washed and buttering. Have you watched Stavros water color of fucking biscuit? Just going to Home Depot to get the long roller to do a buffet.

Yeah, I can sit. Buttering my panes. At a restaurant while it's coming to you from the kitchen. Oh, sir, sir, sir, you're messing with my balance.

You're hitting the expo from your booth. What I like is Stavros, goes to the action. So they have a sword, huh? You many guys, they have, well, Sikhs do. Seeks have a dagger.

Where do they keep it? I think like here they got it on. Just that thing on them? From under. Yeah, that would be cool. Or in their sleeve? That's it. It's like a James Bond villain.

That is, yeah. Or an Austin Powers villain. Yeah. Will Ferrell and he was wearing a turban, wasn't he? Yeah. No, he was wearing a fez. Fez. It's one of a little fucking caps.

What was it? Why did the Shriners? Who are the Shriners, and why did they have Fezzes? Because Fez's Morocco, right? Yeah. That's like a pretty small country. And then they drive the tiny cars. I only know the jokes from The Simpsons.

I don't know. Yeah, me too. That's the only reason. That's the only thing. Shriners, is that the one with the kids? I thought that's the one with the kids. There used to be three of them. And then the youngest one just murdered his father.

Which? The Shriners? There was Carl and Rob. No, no, no, no. Shriver. And the youngest one, I think. I thought you were talking about those kids. Call Reiner.

Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. In my mind, I thought you were talking about the sick kids that come on. Who are those commercials? Those are Shriders, right? Didn't we talk about that at one point? Because they're, yeah, the sick kids, and then they had, that's St. Jude's Hospital. That's what I thought, Calvin, Carl Reiner.

They had one of the guys, one of the kids, like, was this amazing presenter. Yeah. And so it came off, like, it was very, like, uncanny watching this. boy who's like disabled be like we need all the support he still does it yeah right yeah he still does Christmas yeah he's got like that voice that's like slightly handicapped

yeah yeah yeah where he's like don't forget this Christmas yeah and you go I don't I don't like this he could be doing he could be doing the Golden Globes yeah they should he's like Barack Obama he has that level of charisma real quick what have you been typing over there because you look like you're doing stuff we asked eight fucking

questions God forbid you look up one thing wait what's right Shriders. Shriders. Wait, what Shriver? Wait, what Shriver? I looked up, I looked up the Will Ferrell Fes thing. That's the thing you looked up?

The thing we knew about? Shriners, you motherfucker. What are the Shriders? No. What the fuck have you been doing? It's the Simpsons. I don't want to say that it's. Strivers.

God, you're a fucking idiot. I looked up Maria Shriver. Yeah, yeah. Shout out to her. Yeah, that kid, though, you're right. He does have Obama like... If you could save me. Yeah.

We need all the help we can get. And he's in like one of those high wheelchair? Yeah. They stack them up. That seems unsafe. To be that stacked? Yeah, they're always like way up here. And then it's like half the wheelchair is like battery, I guess.

Yeah. Half man, half machine. You're kind of strapped in almost. I don't know why they didn't do that from the beginning with wheelchair. I changed my mind. should have big wheels and they should all be eye level should be six too if you're in a wheelchair. Oh, that's, that's very smart. People would respect disabled people more. We wouldn't have needed COVID to respect this. I think they'd fear them. Yeah, because you could be, you could crush a

foot with your big asses. You should be like the black guy from Twisted Metal. Yeah. I don't know. Axel. He's got, he's a black guy with wheels his arms. Yeah. Oh, he's wheels his arms? Yeah. There's no sweet tooth, the clown. Yeah, the ice cream truck one. Yeah, he's the most popular from that. Yeah. He's a, he's a, he's definitely an icon. They had, they made a twisted metal on Peacock. Shout out to Mike Mitchell, friend of the pod. He's on it. A show?

Stu. He doesn't feel like he's in the games. It's the guy named Stu. Well, they have they made a game in a long time? Mm-mm. But they made a show. That was like the first PlayStation game. Yeah. PlayStation wallet. Mm-hmm. Played to us metal. It scared me. I was literally like, he's fucking evil.

His head's on fire. Because I know Sweet Tooth, his, his, his fucking. fact story is that like his head was on fire because of Satan or something and then he got he got cured and the the priest who cured him or whoever cured him was like okay they change it up because I played twist metal one and two and then black and black was like the goth one okay they're all in a mental institution oh interesting well he what happened to him is he gets the cure and then they're like all right you can have the cure now the only down the only thing is you can't kill anyone else and then sweet too was like so I fucking killed him

I could never not kill And I was like As a child I was like Oh my God This man is pure evil He was cured And he killed and he killed

The guy who saved him Would you have friends pick him And you're like Don't do that I'd be like scared as fuck And honestly I was I was not like young either I was like 12 or 13

Like much too old To be scared Were your dad's disappointed By your fear What the fuck are you afraid of Dude? I was a clown I remember in the second one, you could blow up the Eiffel Tower.

Really? That was cool. In the second one, yeah. Take that frame. There was a trick to do it. Yeah, no, that was the best part. Yeah. It's like there was a code, a cheat code.

Why, didn't we ever do to anybody? They always get picked on to the point that they're like, we lost World War II very badly. Yeah, but they like gave up World War II. They didn't even try for one. Yeah, the Nazis came in, and the British were like, please fight the Nazis. And the French were like, no.

And the French were holding their assholes open. They were in the middle of bending over and being like, put it in here. Yeah, because of it. You can go step right into my battle. Put as much schnitzel in my asshole as you want. Europe would have been fucking lost. If it was, it was it, uh, Dunkirk? Yeah.

And that, you know, they could have, the Germans could have just fucking killed the rest of the British, but it was the French that like gave up before that. Pussy ass motherfuckers. And then they just became. Then they became Nazis. They were like, oh, I guess we're Nazis now. That's why all their shit is still there. That's why all their cool.

shit is embalmed. England had a bunch of cool shit, but they were like, fuck you, German. I do respect, the more, honestly, the older I get, the more I respect the, except for, you know. Jimmy Seville. Except for Jimmy Seville. After finding out about Jerry Seville and Gary Glitter,

I respect the British. Oh, no, that's not what makes me. Their focus on a goal. I do not respect them because of their two notable pedifiers. That seems to be what you said. I'm here with Nick and I are picking up? I don't really respect. You said the only mark against the British is that

is putting Beyonce and the beloved Austin Powers says which is ruined the sexual element in the movie when it was a chain smoking British whore

I said I can jack off to this I stand by that sentiment it did ruin the sexual element of Austin Powers when it was a raspy skeleton covered in nicoderm patches

I could jack off to that no no fucking both the other a redbone woman no Beyonce is not what is this Pocahontas

it's not Not about her body. It's about her attitude. I would like to say both Heather Graham and the other bitch, Heather, who's the first one? Elizabeth Hurley. Herley, yeah. Both of them are also hot, okay? When I see her, it makes me want to Elizabeth Hurley.

I start Elizabeth Hurley. Hurley? Because she's so disgusting to me? Because she's a woman? She's fucking, no. Because you're gay? No. That's what you also do whenever you see pussy.

No. Elizabeth Hurl? No. He showed me that pussy I'm about the Elizabeth Hurley. Oh, no. Nick's going to go have sex with him. Sorry, guys. Nick's boyfriend.

Nick's boyfriend. There was women outside. That's why he left. There was women out there. He's back in the Seekster after him. There was no guys. Yeah. We cut the camera.

Nick sucked eight guys off and then we cut it back on. I'll just go back and make it look like a cut, please. Mark that. He got acid reflux because of all the cums. He's gonna be perfect. God damn. Yeah, so, yep, Austin Bowers, the first two hold up. I don't remember what else we were fucking talking about.

What's going on with you, Dave? We're like, dude, we're due to flee. Are you gonna be- Because of Mom, Donnie, what you both did? You both brought him into my city. I guess he's- You know I'm an Eric Adams guy. He's just.

Jeffrey Epstein's son? Did you see? No, they go, why are Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein at his brisk? He's Muslim. Dude, Maga is just saying in anything now. It's just anything. I mean, that's crazy. They were sending.

They were sending. Oh, Mom Donnie's dad? Pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. What's that based on absolutely nothing? Do you ever see Luke who's talking? Well, Jeffrey Epstein was the John Travolta character that came in and raised. Zoron. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, John Chavolto would have been, his real dad would be John Chavolto. No. The old guy would be... He's a real dad. He's the real dad. Yeah, the old guy. So, Epstein would be...

They're saying he's... They're saying it's actually his real dad. Oh, it's like DNA? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the old guy from just shoot me. Yeah.

Which is, that's the whole opening scene is him nutting in her. Is it nuts in her. Is that crazy? Is it nut... Is a cum shot. Yeah. The whole opening scene of look who's talking

is just him busting in Christyale. Yeah. And then you see the jizz go in the pussy. That's awesome. Quivering was in the original. Oh, fuck. Does the Jiz have sunglasses on? Yeah.

Talking. It's cool Jizz. That's the one you know is going to make it. It's Bruce Willis. They offered Colin the role of the Jiz. He goes, you know, I don't know. I'd prefer probably, you know, running down a thigh. 45 minutes of Jiz explaining the Declaration of Independence.

You know, we, the people, which is interesting, because they had people working for them. This fucking, this sperm knows a lot about American history. Yeah, it's called Talking Come. Yeah, that good movie Look Who's Talking, by the way.

Great franchise. They moved it to the dogs. They made the dogs sentient beings. I never saw a look who's talking. I remember that as a youth. Yeah, that was Kirstie Alley's. What's funny is the second one, the little girl is Roseanne.

So I would rather, them, if they reboot that, they better keep Roseanne and let her go off script. Let her go off script. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I was confused. I thought you meant a young Roseanne was playing a child. No, no, no, she was the voiceover of a baby. Bruce Willis was the first.

And then he came back for the sequel, and his little sister was voiced by Roseanne. Now, Bruce Willis has, like, really bad Alzheimer's. Yeah, it's dimension. Yeah, so how about just filming him in a wheelchair, wherever he is? I bet one of the kids. And then having a baby do the voice.

It's a trillion dollar. He's like that. I don't want to. He's like this. And it's called help. Who's talking? I want pudding. I want pudding.

I want no money. Die of Christmas. I have a poop in my pants and I want pudding. I know. And Demi Moore signed off on this? The kids and Demi signed off on this. I believe they did. I believe they did.

Help who's talking is so fucking funny. I think it's his wife that's doing it. Yeah, that's honestly, if you're, look, it's not good. But, like, rich as hell with dementia, it's like, you get to be a baby. Well, I think about Jack Nicholson all the time. Every day I check to see if he's dead yet. Because if he's not, he's just, like, in a room somewhere with tits, watching movies. Yeah, dude.

Do you see when he pops up? But he eats, like, fucking meatball sobs, gets his dick sucks. Do you see when he pops up in his hair? and his hair's fucking wide. He's like... Yeah. It's kind of the best way to die. Like, he...

And by the way, going senile, it's nicer than knowing what's going on. Well... You don't worry about the future. I think the best way to die is probably being killed by an Israeli F-35 while you're shooting up a synagogue.

Yeah. That could probably be a... Big Mullen's views are not representative of Stavi world. Stavi's world. After that. Then it's rich. Yeah.

But you know what? screaming talk beer while shooting up those synagogues. And then you get drone-striped. The equalizer about dementia is everybody gets to be Bruce Willis. Is that the premise of the movie? Of the equalizer?

Is dementia? Yeah. It's actually... Denzel's just a regular black guy that were crazy. Or he just lost it and they told him that he was a badass. Do you know where the hell I am?

He goes, you're not my son. Do you know where I am, Jake? Where the hell am I? I don't know where I am, Jake. I'm very lost. In a different movie, you say, a different character? Where's Jake? He's at home people where he works.

Where's Jake? I didn't know you like to get wet. Maurice, do not talk to me like that. He's just sitting the checkout girl. I didn't know you like to get me. What's the one where he's the bodyguard for the little girl? A man on fire. Man on fire, yeah.

I wish you had more time, but he's insane. Creecy, shout out to Creecy. That movie's good. That movie's incredible. Dude, that movie's incredible. And the, like, if you really want to just put your nuts on the table, just go ahead and skip the first hour. And just watch him.

Just watch him go off. Just watch him do revenge, dude. Although the, him and fucking, the scenes with him and Christopher Walken. Oh, yeah. So fucking good. That's where Christopher Walkin, though, gave up. It started becoming the character. I told you, my name isn't Jake.

Yeah. I've told you a million times. We were in the CIA together. Does your daughter know you're out of the house? You wander down here. I can show you the ring cam. You're telling me a little girl went missing. And you're going to fight the cartel.

You work in the lumberyard of Home Depot. He's just a mishmash. Jake? He's doing the Jake thing again. Yeah, yeah. What if I am the guy who knows who Jake is? You might have been a former enemy And now I'm keeping secrets from you

Yeah, Christopher Walkins like Pacino He gave up in one movie It's like I forget which movie it is It's not man on fire He's good at man on fire I don't think Pacino actually gave up I was I rewatched the Irishman the other day He's great in that

And well he's great in everything But I watch the like special features For the Irishman And they have like a round table That's like De Niro and Pacino And Pesci and Scorsese And they're all talking And I guess I've never seen Al Pacino just hanging out.

But he's like kind of like shy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it's like, oh, that is a performance. I thought he just did himself. But, but no. The best part about him is he's still nutting inside a 20, whatever. Like he just had a baby.

He just had a fucking kid. It's crazy. You're still nutting raw dogging? Yeah. He was talking about how he texts his son. He's like sometimes I text him. He's a fucking baby. That's crazy.

When you grow up and you're like, why did you let him have me? Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, you got to be so mad at your mom. By the way, he's not even going to touch the estate. Yeah. I wonder how many kids. Check out of the Pachino range. What's the Pachino range?

De Niro's range is long. I think he also recently had a kind of a kid. But Pachino, I don't know. But all those kids are like the black, right? Seven kids. Aren't DeNero's kids all black? I think I believe so. So they don't expect to have a father or anything.

I think they might expect it. He goes, that's okay in that situation. He goes, you know what? I'm playing chess. I have a lot of kids. They don't expect me to be there. It's kind of a move. No one knew.

That's why I was doing it. Hats off. I don't like it. Pachino, seven kids? With who? Oh, I look up the zero. Well, that's a lot of kids. Seven?

Seven's tough. I bet it's less. I bet Pacino has less. Four. Okay. What are the age ranges, though? Like 4 to 73. Like 2 years old.

The oldest is born 89. Okay. Rowley Marie Pacino. 36. And that's quick math. Oh, you cheated. Oh, that's funny. You're pretending.

I was trying to think of which way he did it. I was like, did he start it? 2026? I was born in 89. Okay. Then we got Anton James Pacino. Anton James. 2001.

Twins with Olivia Rose Puccino And then Roman Pacino Who is the little guy? Who do you have this first kid with? A baby shouldn't be named for Rome. No. The fuck? That should be, if anything, given to you in the older age.

You should have to kill your older brother to take his name. Roman the first. Roman Pacino is a great name. Roman Pacino's great. That's a fucking good-ass name. It's also setting him up that that kid could suck. Oh, for sure.

Growing up the kid. He's going to top out at 4-11. Well, he's going to be a white rapper. He's going to be like a white rapper, but also... But also Wolverine. So he's going to be hairy and small. Yeah. And just ferocious.

Yeah, like that. He'll do nothing until he gets 50 and he'll open a bar across the street. You've never been to Pacino's. Oh, dude. A kid, some guy 50 years from now, opening a bar called Pacino. His dad's been dead for 40 years. Oh, okay. We know what?

We put on Serpico. He doesn't even talk like that. He takes voice training lessons like his trans to talk like his dad. Can he teach me how to speak like him? I'm watching his movies. I said, we got a drink special because my dad nutted in my mom. He's got to go to governors and find some fucking dumb Italian that does a Pacino impression. Is that real trans people take voice training?

I believe so, yeah. That seems like the biggest scam. Because that's got to be a new business. That's got to be a new business. Hey, hey. And there's some people are just tricking trans people into signing up for lessons they probably don't need. I believe because you can't get a lower voice.

I think about the scene. So even when you become, you look like a sexy day, if you had a deep-ass voice, you can train yourself up a lower voice. But yeah, but they just go to somebody that's like, no, more like this.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm wondering is, is it the scene where, you've ever seen the scene where Richard Pryor teaches Gene Wilder how to be cool in any which way but up where he's like, yeah, now get based on your voice.

Is that what they do? Or they go like, Yeah, but the other way. No, it's like a miscongeniality when Stanley Tucci teaches. Oh, because I was thinking women transitioning to men and a guy goes, Hey, dude, and they go, I can hit it. Yeah, I think, I think the T does a lot of the work going that way. You're saying the opposite way.

You got to brighten it up. You got to brighten it up. It's more difficult. I'm sure it would, I'm sure voice training it. Did you ever know, I feel like you would meet kids who would pretend to have a deep voice? And then one day it just stuck. I just always had, because my mom has it. I don't feel like you're, you know, there's nothing about you.

Dude, I used to call my friends when I was a kid in fifth grade and be like, because you'd call, you know, to see if they come out and hang out. Yeah. And I remember calling my friend Lewis, Louis, Louis Kondon. Shout out, Lewis. I hope you're all right. Shout out to Lewis. And I called his house and his mom was like, I was like, is Lewis there?

She's like, who is this? Like, you know, not like a mom, like in a way that I've never heard. Oh, really? Being like, who is this? She's just trying to fuck somebody on the phone. His mom's an Indian man What are you doing later Yeah

Please come over to me Lewis is busy I are looking for Lewis or me For you sir But I was like Oh no it's Dan And she was like oh I thought you were one of Lewis's football coaches

Wow Did you ever use that Did you ever do any hijinks? Oh yeah phone pranks all the time pranking people I used to hate that when you'd like you'd be telemarketers or something that would call. Yeah. And they'd be like, uh, hi, ma'am.

Yeah, right. I'd be like, no. I'm a man. I'm a boy. I used to call. I'd start pissing into the receiver. I'm like, can you hear my penis? Sir, I can't.

Sir, you're breaking up the phone. Are you peeing in the receiver? Yeah. I would call toys or us to see if they had toys and then pick up on hold and go. But a child can do that. I don't know. And they go, ma'am. They send the cops to your house to arrest a pedophile?

You're checking if they have Gambit. You're a pedophile. No one's searching for Gambit with the heavy leather jacket. No, respect. I loved Gambit. But I used to call Toys R Us and when they'd pick up. That's the Cajun X-Man. Yeah.

Monscherin. What do you say? Sex up, the sex stuff X-Men. Yeah. Yeah. He would make a playing card on fire. But he was the king of edging because he wanted to fuck the lady that you couldn't touch. She'd kill you.

Yeah. So he had to, like, have. I would do it anyways. If you wore a condom, couldn't you fuck her? That's a great question. She wears gloves. She doesn't kill you immediately. It's like you have a-

She sucks your power. She changed your life force. So if you bust right away, you're good. Yeah, but you're gonna be like a prude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, zip. Professor X is telling someone that.

Windexing your dick. That's awesome. If that's your girlfriend, you can just nut immediately be like, well, I die. Oh, you want me to die, bitch? I can't. I literally can't eat your, pussy because I'll die.

My mouth will stop. You'll suck me off immediately. I'll melt like one of the fucking Nazis in Indiana Jones. If I suck your pussy. But I feel like with a condom, you should be able to fuck her. Professor X is like, our only weakness is if

you come fast. That's me shooting up. It's the regular X-men and then me just fucking putting on sweatpants shorts. What's the rumor Professor X, like, all the, his mind is everywhere. So he's, like, in that place.

And then Rogue comes in, and he turns around to see her. And he's like, hey. And then it's just her pussy and tits all over the company. And he's like, what's going on? And he's like, for a second, it's like some fat old lady. Dead puppy. It's baseball. But then it comes back strong where she's sucking.

Yeah, right. The baseball bat turns into his dad. You know what? I should take this off. Go ahead. Before he does, it's like his whole body going into, she's a giant and he's just being stuffed in her pussy in the

wheelchair. I'm in the chair. No, I'm in the chair. It's like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, yeah. He goes to black for a second. He's just being like wet spaghetti into it. She's just fucking putting him in there.

She's using him like a dill know. When he has that, when he has that helmet on it's his search history. She's like, um, Tuesday is laundry day He's like, ah, yeah. I just wanted to know what y'all keep your biscuits.

Oh, you startled me, rogue. And then Storm comes in, but he's not sexually attracted to her. Yeah, right. It just says cold members suck. Don't say the N-word. Don't say the N-word. It just says the N-word the big.

Like a full N-word. It says it. It has the red circle through it. And she's like, oh, should I come back? He's like, no, I shouldn't say it. No, no, no. You're allowed in here. It's just a reminder for myself.

Oh, I'm sorry, Storm. You weren't supposed to see that. Rogue didn't tell you about my fantasies. How about they're like, Storm, can you go pick up groceries? And so she creates a hurricane so she can go loot the groceries. It's her waiting with a... They're like, we gave you money. It's her waiting with a door and on the...

doors all the groceries. Professor, I brought in a TV. I didn't ask for you. Why are there 30 flat screens in here? Why did you get a bunch of Nokia cell phones? No one you flip phones anymore.

Rogue, you startled me. She was fucking sexy. Remember those cards? I used to jack off to the cards. To the cards? The X-Men cards? I don't remember the cards. This might be This might be slightly generational. Yeah, it's a little bit older.

A little before your time. My friend had X-Men cards. What's that? My friend had X-Men cards. Yeah, we're at the same age. Yeah, I'm trying to remember what the... I definitely was horny for the X-Men, but I don't know if I, if there was ever,

if they ever made it to me jacking off to them. Was there ever a, maybe a video, because the video game wasn't, well, the movie, what's her name, plays the Blue? It wasn't the same thing. No, but who don't know, no, the Blue Lady from the movie. Yeah. Oh, Rebecca.

You know what, yes, for sure. Yeah, Rebecca Romaine. Definitely, I, I, there was, I believe there was footage for getting into the, like, being body painted. Damn, dude, I bet BTS did it for a young stuff. Absolutely. Not only that, I'll tell you one further. I then, in my rotation, was body paint porn. Really?

Like, there were, sports illustrated did a whole thing for a couple years there, the swimsuit edition, where girls were just naked with body paint on. Yeah. Interesting. There was a very specific. That got to be awesome if you're colorblind. Yeah. That's just porn.

Yeah, you go. Oh, look, these naked ladies. This skin looks a little weird. Sure, I have dog eyes, but look at this fucking porn. Dog eyes. If you're talking about, you should be able to smell like a dog. You can't get dog scent. That's what I said.

You're like an osmic now. Oh, yeah, you can't smell at all. I didn't know that. I don't think you told me that. I've had it for a while. You said it was COVID. I feel like this was before COVID. No, COVID's when knocked it out.

Smoking cigarettes severely doled it. I, like the couple of times, I mean, I got sick again recently and I couldn't smell, but the first time it happened, I couldn't smell for like two days and I was like really upset about it. Yeah. My shit got so doled out because of smoking for so long. You were ready to go. That when it happened, I was just kind of like, I guess it isn't there.

But it does. There's a gas leak. I'm going to die. Yeah, don't. You got to fix that. Yeah, there's people have been reaching out with like, there's like therapies you can do to like bring back. Well, that's what I did.

When I got sick and mine went away, I just, I got all the spices. out of the cabinet, and I would just keep smelling it. It's a one of them kind of recognized it, and I would just think about, like, oh, rosemary or whatever, you know. You would think about it? Yeah, you have to think about it. It's like bringing back the force.

I have to go to an island. I have to go to an island and find Luke Skywalker just to smell this stinky-ass city again. Yeah, but you're pumped. You don't even want to smell. I mean, Katie literally is like my smelling nose lady. Yeah. Like, I go to her and I go, do I smell?

And she goes, I get it. What about, Has it fucked up your taste? Dold it a little, but I still have taste. I can still... I could still taste. No, see, I lost both when I had it. Yeah, I lost both, but my taste came back, but just a little dold.

Okay, all right. Yeah. Well, yeah, you can't smell... Well, now you're to be married, man. You don't have to worry about strange, stinky pussies. Nope. But that's a positive if you're a young man who's, you know, who knows what kind of... Yeah, but there's stuff like, it's like, you know, like your mom's perfume or something.

stuff like that you might smell in the future and you're like, oh, yeah, my, yeah, that or, you know, like, is that Liz Taylor? Yeah, your mom's perfume, your grandma's perfume. No, you probably have nice memories that are now inaccessible that you don't even fucking know about. That is great times in your life because it's a lot of memories attached to a scent. I might bring it back. Do you think you have that capability?

They've been doing a lot of studies. They've been saying there's like medications that can bring it back now. Interesting. You get real good at targeting it. I think doing the spice thing. You know born on 4th of July? Yeah. When we were in the beginning where he's paralyzed

and he's in the hospital and he's like, I'm going to fucking walk again. Yeah. And then he like snaps his legs and gets too like excited. Yeah. That would be me. Yeah. It's like, I don't care what the doctors say. I'm going to try and fix it my own way.

Mine was just kind of like, I don't think I need it right now. It's more that I don't want it. I respect that. I would be freaking the fuck out if I lost a sense. a sense. Yeah, but my shit was always doled because it's smoking. Yeah.

That shit really upsets me. One of my eyes went like either up or down, a diopter or whatever you call it. One of my eyes, I don't know if I had. You were Googly-eyed? No, my vision had been stable. And then I had a bad eye infection in this eye. And then I didn't get that. I don't know.

It was like a sty and then it became infected. I got, it was called the parabolical cellulitis. I had taken antibiotics. This was years ago. But it was at the same week. Maybe it was because I could only use this eye. and I was like fucked up or something. I was watching TV

and then suddenly it was like like a filter went over and I couldn't read anything. No, fuck that shit. I got a fucking eye exam and this eye had like dropped off. So there's juice in your eye. Yeah, yeah.

Like I was like, that thin layer of the filter was just jizz. You have almost a force field of calm around your eye. But that shit made me really sad. I was like, and I'm looking online, I'm like, can you do exercises to bring?

There was like times I gave up hope. There was like frustrating shit where I was like, dude, I have to be able to... And then I would pull my nose out like this. That was the only time I was able to smell nail polish. You're making fun of me for the spices. You're like doing Pinocchio after you somewhere.

There's no way that's the answer. It's pulling your nose out. I like pulling your nose more. No, you're teeming up against me for no. No, no. Spices is better. Spices is better. Okay.

Spices, but not thinking you can think you're way back to having fucking smell. You can't be like fucking cinnamon. Yes, you can. It's your brain. Your brain is doing everything. It's the same brain. By the way, his science isn't that awful. I like tugging nose.

Tugging nose makes more sense. I do my own science and I'm always right. That's how he fixed his eye. Well, I think I'm very scared that I'm just fucked because of my back. I was telling you guys before. But yeah, I just was fucking deadlifting, not even a lot of weight. And I just tweak some shit. And it just has not.

It just, I wake up every morning in excruciating pain for like three hours. You need to read that. That book that cured Howard Stern. You got to get it on Louis Simmons, dude. Who's Louis Simmons? Louis Simmons was the guy that ran Westside Barbell, but he, like, broke his fucking back. And then, yeah, have you seen West Side versus the world?

No. Oh, you should watch it. You'd like it. Is it a documentary? Yeah. It's like pumping iron and West Side versus the world. It was the two best. Okay.

Yeah, but West Side versus the world, it's all about Louis Simmons and his gym. Yeah, the powerlifting gym in Ohio. I think it's still there, but it's like invite only, and it's just a garage, and it's like, like they set a bunch of records, I guess, in the late 90s in early 2000s. But Louis Simmons broke his back.

And then he's a welder. So he invented like the rehab machine that he used to fix his back. Yeah. That's the most mainly shit I've ever heard of my life. Breaking your back and then welding your thing that heals you. I'm just sitting here. I'm like in a fucking like a Epsom salt bath.

Be like, ah! Oh! My back holds. I need more door dash. I need more door dash. I have to, I have to get to my job where I'm, pretend to be a working class tire salesman tomorrow.

I'm not actually a tire salesman, but I'm in so much beans. That's literally what this last fucking month has been like. I'm like, ah, how am I ever going to pretend to be a horny tire rat? It would be I'll bring it to the character. You could get into pills, too. You could become a pill hat. Brother, that's how most people get. I'm very scared of that.

Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I'm suggesting it. No, no, I got some... That's why I'm walking him to do it. No, no, I'm really... I've been really worried about that. I've been keeping them at bay. I only use them, like,

I've only used them like a couple times. They're in here somewhere in this park? I'm not telling you where they are. Are they... If I walk towards it, would you do hot, cold? Yeah. Do you think if your friend Nick got up and walked around, you'd maybe shout out a hotter or colder once in a while?

I got into... You know, we would get, like, crate them for free in the old show. Of course. It's always kind of gross to me, but then when I got surgery a couple years ago, and I used the crateum, to extend how long I was on painkillers.

And then I had this thing. It's very interesting. Well, if you do enough of it, it's like a perkocetal. It's just three different drugs. Yeah, yeah. But this is like you guys coming up with recipes for like biscotti. Yeah. A biscotti ice cream.

I never thought of that. I was doing this for a while. Both of those will work for me. You guys have pills in ice cream. You guys have bills. Now I'm in heaven, brother. I was doing this thing for a while where I would sit at home and I would have like six or seven non-alcoholic beers and then take 40.

grams of cratum. I'd be like, I'm sober. Like, fucked up. Literally tricking your brain. You're doing. Yeah. And your brain's like, what's going all?

It's not the same feeling. Yeah, yeah. No, that was awesome. That's like indoor skydiving for drinking. Just sitting there watching my girlfriend friend play Hogwarts Legacy. Like, pretending to be drunk. Good job.

Good job. I just had six, heinous zeros. I feel great. We're having a great night inside. You got to call Lewis to get more creative An alcoholic so much That you're fucking redoing the shitty parts of it You're just drunk on your couch

Yeah A thousand calories Estella zeroes That's so fucking funny They don't even taste that good They taste good After like two or three though After three of they're bad

I went to a 4th of July barbecue with Shane And I drink a 12 pack of heinous But those are good though I like them I like them, but six was too much. Yeah, I top out at like three of those. And it's for a barbecue when you want to just fucking... They were shotguning beers drinking it.

I was like, I fucking... Shotgunning NAs is that's... A beer bogged a fucking... That's like something the chess club does. Yeah. But I needed it. I needed to like... It was like a pedophile sex doll.

I like needed it. I was going to fucking act out if I did it. I was in a really dark place. I was going to... Don't judge my child sex dog. I needed it. Hey, Shane,

could you just tell those guys that was real beer? I was like, I don't give a shit, dude. I'll take three edibles. I was doing what knickers? Just displacement.

Hey, Shane, if post-blown asks, that was real beer. Hey, if George Kittle asks when I poured pouring here. Post-Bol is sitting there

getting a temporary tattoo. Yeah. Hey, me too. I got stuff on my face, too. Oh, fuck, Elders.

Is it about we gave a little wisdom to the listeners eldest. Yeah. Wonderful. And by the way, here, we should say, Dan, you are in the middle of a tour. Yeah, golden retriever of comedy tour on sale. March, probably.

Yeah, Dan Soder.com, March and April are the final months of it. Perfect. Go see Dan. Nick, you said, we're talking, you said you're back on the road, maybe? Yeah, well, I just did Chicago. I got to line more stuff up.

But I'm being lazy about it. I kind of want to keep everything in driving distance for a little bit. That's kind of nice, too. Yeah, I just bought a Ravreford. Yeah, every place is awesome. Well, I realized it. I had a flight.

Like, for some reason it's like on Saturdays, I'm like anxious about the shows, even though it's the end of the week. Really? And then it took me until now to realize it's because I have to fly on Sunday. And I get, like, even before I go on the road, it's like, I think like, oh, why am I nervous? And it's just, I hate, I'm like, I'm going to fuck up. I'm not going to get to the airport on time. Dude, and that also, especially with government shutdowns possibly happening again, it's like

one of those things we're like, I might not make it. in the stress of not making it to a fucking faraway city. Yeah. Because people are like... You've been promoting it for a fucking year. Just been begging people like, come out. There's got to be... And you're like, because I can't fly there.

We fucking drove back from Greensboro. What is that? South Carolina? Is it 10 hours? Yeah, what was the 10? It was like six hours to Baltimore and then we like stayed... Yeah, we literally slept for like four hours. Like a fucking Grand Theft Auto Save Point.

Dude, that's... I forgot you have that. We slept for like three and a half hour. and then got back to New York. Yeah. That's great. But it was a fucking hilarious ride. We saw a, that's,

we were talking about the truck drivers earlier. We saw literally a guy was, he had parked his truck in maybe the worst spot possible. And we were like, it was like, there was like a detour off a highway and we needed to like go around to shit. We were like,

what the fuck's that guy got in there? He was getting sucked off by a lot lizard? And then as we said that like, a dishevelled woman comes out. And it's like telling, he's like doing trash. Go around. Literally.

Go around. She's helping him back up so we can like cross through. She's like, sorry, I had to come out here and scratch the come out of my pussy. So go see the golden retriever of comedy. Go see the mold dog when he, when he throws some stuff up there. And we got some great stuff at this point. Probably radio city's coming up by the time this comes out. What are you doing?

Radio City. March 25th? Fucking A. 28th? 28th. March 28th. Come by. Come hang.

You got to check out there. Maybe you'll like this. In the back there, they got a, like, it's the original machine from, like, the 1930s. It controls all the, really? Really? The fucking, you know, the, I don't know, ropes, wires. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That's fucking awesome. They still use it or it's just like... I think they still use it. That's fucking awesome. I'm excited. No, that's fucking... That's mad ghost territory. Oh, it's ghosted up.

That's Phantom of the Opera. Oh, is it? I'm sure. Radio City asked me. Every... A lot of shit is haunted, dude. Yeah, it's why they all. have that ghost light.

They put on that stage of theaters. Oh, really? For the ghost to, like, perform? Yeah, the ghost is a model. Just doing rage, just doing blackface? It's like, if it's a ghost from, like, 1910. It's just so offensive that they're not allowed in hell. Satan's like, Jesus Christ, have some taste.

Golly. I mean, I'm evil, but I like good stuff. Satan's pissed because he gets all the stuff. That's true. Satan doesn't necessarily have that have bad taste. I stole rock and roll from black people. Can I grab another seltzer real quick? Yeah, please. Do you want a zero?

Yeah, that'd be great. Eldis will get it. No, I'll stop. You got to Google things we're not working at. Yeah. Can you get me a fucking root beer while you're at it? We've got to pull up the advice. Yeah, Eldis, pull up some fucking advice.

So what did you get like a... Finish with some fucking calls, LD? Yeah, can I hit the oneie? Of course. Oh yeah, go crazy. Damn, I've had like nine coffees today. Elvis, where's the fucking call, you dunce? Yeah, I fucking said it three times.

Jesus Christ. Hey, Stavi. Hi, Aldous and esteemed guests. I'll try to get this quick. I blew two discs in my lumbar spine and I was like 25. Had surgery. It was good to go. But a couple weeks ago,

I was in a lot of pain, I got an MRI. Turns out it's degenerative dipht disease, and I believe two more, and they'll just continue to get worse. It's manageable, but my career path is a mobile mechanic. I run my own business, I make a pay money. But I'm at this point now where I've got to decide, do I change career paths? Well, quick, quick answer, real quick, immobile mechanic. That's true. Bring your car.

You jack your car up. You bring it to my house. Put my hands on the car for me. Wheel me under there. Lay me down. Wheel me under. And I'll give a glimpse. Get a wheelchair and replace the car.

People can ride you around. You can ride you around. Yeah. That's fucking brutal. So this guy figured out his back is just fucked. He is degenerative. disc disorder. Disease,

which I guess I don't know what that is. Is that what you have? Does it make you feel like a pussy? Hearing a guy that's got like, like you got back problems, but this guy's got like. This guy is the character you're playing. Yeah.

He's like, I sell tires. He's like, I sell tires at this place. I'm a manager and go, what the fuck? It would have been awesome if you were supposed to be a mechanic

and then you showed up. You're like, I'm going to need a chair. Yeah. I need a chair to sit in. Yeah, dude, I mean, that sucks, Dick. He's basically just saying he needs to change his career. Yeah, he's wondering if he should seriously reconsider pursuing a different career.

He should learn how to use chat TVP to do coding for him. That's my advice to everybody. No, find something that you are completely dispassionate about that you hate and then use chat UPT to do that. Poorly for you. It doesn't matter, yeah. Yeah. But what would that even fucking be?

He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Does he have any ideas about what he would do? Or you're saying should he? I mean, yes. Because if you're asking us in a vacuum, should you take a job that is less physically taxing? Mm-hmm.

The answer is yes. If you have that available. Well, if you were in a vacuum, that would be awesome. Yeah. Can you imagine living in a giant vacuum? Is it a giant vacuum? Is it a giant vacuum? Is it a big?

Maybe a Kirby? That would be pretty cool. I'll tell you what? You're in a dice in your life's pretty good. It would be even better if it was haunted. And then it's like Luigi's mansion. I'm in the vacuum. It's full of fucking dust.

Uh-huh. I don't want to be full of dirt and shit. Well, it's a fantasy world. We're living in. Dust doesn't hurt. It's charming in a Disney way. You can use it to fly up. Why aren't I coughing?

I'm like, at first. But then you become acclimated. Maybe you're in a different part of the vacuum. Okay. You might be in the brushes. The brushes would be cool. That's like the inner city of the vacuum world.

Yeah. You go, you don't want to live in the brushes. Yeah. Let's just say the stuff gets trapped right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, the sensation of being vacuumed, that would feel nice.

Being in the vacuum? I think you just want a blow job. No, dude, I just want, like, I don't know. I feel awesome. Just to be taken away? You want to be abducted. Being abducted would feel good. Being sucked your entire body.

Your whole body getting sucked would feel good. I was reading about the... You don't really get sucked. You get, your dig is played with a mouth. I was reading about the... It's not really a suck job. The Apollo... Apollo 1 disaster

in that story? I really only know it from the beginning of Apollo 13 the movie. I don't know shit about it. So it was the first Apollo mission and like just the pre

if they were just testing they were like get in the cockpit and let's just make sure the radio works. You know what I thought? You turn the radio and literally.

Literally. Really? I immediately see Nick is selling a comedic version of Apollo 1 to a streamer being like

they've got to learn how to be astronauts. That's what happened. So they put them on the launch pad. They get in the cockpit and they were, they have to, you know, they have to pressurize the cockpit because when it goes into space, it's a fucking vacuum. So they do that on the ground. And at the time, I don't know if they changed it later. They did it with pure oxygen.

Okay. And so, and there's a recording of the comms, right? And so they're sitting in there. It's pure oxygen, some wire shorts. And then you hear the guy, like, the guy's like already impatient. He's like, how the hell are we going to go to the moon if we can't even get, you know, Com's working right between two buildings. He's like, uh-oh, we got a fire.

Bad fire, bad fire! And then they're like, get us out of here! And then it just cuts out. But then you hear the other guys, because there's so much pressure in there because they pressurized it, and it's also pure oxygen, the fire makes it even more.

So they got squeezed and burned to death. In like 30 seconds. But then there's the other side of the comms and the other guy's like, yeah, Mike, can you go check on now? That's so fucking... The guy that goes... He's being a fucking...

fucking deep. Mark, you update, you got visual on them. The guy that always goes, stop playing around. Yeah. You guys playing around. The guy's being squeezed and burned. Oh, dude.

But you got to think, like, all those guys went to, like, Korea and World War II. So for them, that's, like, that's, like, nothing. It's like, yeah, they all got, get some more astronauts in here.

Yeah. We lost three. What do you want me to cry about it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be, that would suck, Dick, to be number one, though. Oh. And you're, now only do you not get to go to space,

you die and fucking Florida on fire. The smartest guy was like, I'll go to. I'll beat them, bro. Don't you want to be the first one? And he goes, no. No, I don't. Not really. Have you guys figured out

the old pressure thing? Well, that's, I never really knew the story. I rewatched Apollo 13 recently and I never picked up on that when I was a kid, but like it makes the story so much crazier because it's like these guys are thinking about the other guys that burned to death and they already know how dangerous this is going to be. And then they go up there and they just

get stuck. Yeah. Like in between Earth and the moon, which... You know what, though? It does give a layer of more danger. That's what I mean, because as a kid, I couldn't appreciate Apollo 13. Yeah, I saw my dad, and I remember being like, they got stuck and they got out and getting stuck. Yeah, who cares.

When you're a kid, too, you're like, fucking Han Solo does fucking backflips. Right, yeah, yeah. Like, when you see... When you're a kid and you see... This guy can't even get it up. It's like, what are you just... There is right fucking there. That's not scary.

I thought... You're a fucking jetpack. When I was in Chicago, I got back to my hotel room at 3 a.m. And they locked the door. And I tried it and it was locked. And I was like, and the guy that was already walking over. The guy was already coming over to let me in.

I was crying. Maybe a second and a half had passed before I was urinating. And, like, didn't know what it was going to happen. You're like, oh, no, I hope the two Nigerians from Jesse Smolett don't get me. Oh, I just went to subway. He's like, what do you mean you just went to Subway? You say, you can't sit outside. You are going to Subway.

You have become Maga country. Yeah. Welcome to America. We got to do it again. Welcome to the country of Macca. Welcome. No, it's welcome to Matt. Welcome to. This is Maga country.

Where is my meatball sub? You promised me a six foot on Italian herbs and cheeses. I wanted a terriac chicken. Where is my cherry chicken? You are not bringing it. It's crazy. That's the only good thing on the menu. It's so good.

Everything else is bullshit. Because they know it's good. I like the Italian BMT. Nah, dude. Yeah. Sweet onion terriot. Honestly, the meatball subs is not bad either. It isn't bad.

In a pinch. In a pinch. Yeah, but there's never a pinch. You always have to... There's never a pinch. What do you mean? Unless you go in there, like, we don't have the sweet onion chicken terriot. It's not that good, bro.

The fucking meat... Also, sometimes you want something different. You want a meatball cell. It's good, but the chicken does kind of suck. It's that weird. But the flavor is like, right. It's that weird rubbery ass chicken. Fuck Subway.

Damn, not kind of want Subway, though. Yeah, of course. Do you fucking white trash? I got a Subway Thanksgiving sub they had on the menu and me and Stav stopped on the way back. No, no. That was an old Lenny's thing that they used to do. That was great.

Yeah, I mean, I do think it's nice when sandwich, when Chains do something for a limited time. I had a night where I was way fucked up on Kratum to the extent that I wouldn't say it blacked out, but I didn't remember it happening. But I like inquired about, I inquired about opening a Blimpies franchise. You know what? And then the next day I got like, you know,

they're like, thank you for looking into opening a Blimpies franchise. I'm genuinely curious. Blimpies was my favorite. There's no Blimpies anyway. I didn't say I'm dumb or that this was a bad idea. I didn't say that I didn't remember it. I just said they didn't remember I think there's no Blimpies anymore

Blimpies if you opened a Blimpie Slash Blimpie slash Blockbuster in like wherever the Harry Potter store is Yeah You would be in like Ridgewood or some shit Yeah What's the fuck is going on out in Ridgewood? You need it to be like hipster

You just said that like you're a black comic Yeah What's going on Ridgewood? Man the fuck Ridgewood What the fuck's going on? The fuck yeah I feel like I've lived in bedstead style

long enough now that I can act like that To the people that are moving there now I think it's true You don't belong here You know what you did Yeah You don't either I'm like yeah

But less A little bit more than you Do not as mad at me Anymore Yeah Play another call LD Hey stuff Second shot here

Because I went way too long In the first try So long for a short I am having a hard time With my dad Since my mom passed away Six months ago she it's been a hard time and all that you know goes to that thing

since she passed away my dad who's like a deeply deeply conservative like Catholic man midwestern man has started hanging out with one of her old friends like a lot it started off sort of sort of low-key that she would like bring him lunch sometimes but now he's like seeing her like every day after work and my dad went to Texas

last week because they had some health stuff going on. He needs to get some he needs to get some scans and they got like a second opinion down there. My brother and sister-in-law went with him which we thought was going to what he did Rogan did waste the well. Which by the way, what's up with stem cells

if anybody knows, inject them into my back. Oh yeah, I need them fixed. Ray Mysterio just took him. He's back in the WWE. Fuck, dude. If somebody knows Mysterio's doctor, let me know. That'd be awesome. Having you doing 619s? And people trapped at the rope.

I kind of feel like we're on, like, and this is going to get like conspiratorial, but with all the Epstein stuff coming out and everything, it's going to be like, we're all going to have to make a decision. It's like, it's going to be like, okay, it's clear. Everybody in the government fucks children. Right.

They're all evil. They want to murder like an entire race of people. Yep. But we now have the technology where like everything can be cured. You can live forever. And you're going to have to make like a decision. Let them do it. it and takes the drugs or don't?

Yeah. Yeah, kind of. So, like, you can live... Whether we get rid of morality and kill God, basically, and then we have him mortality. God's dead. Not yet.

He's hanging on. I feel like God just hasn't checked in in a while. He's in Iran. He's in Palestine. He's got a lot on... Southern Lebanon in the cave. A lot on God's plate. A lot on God's plate right now.

He's not really thinking about the Super Bowl this year. So would I take the drug... to cure everything. Yeah, I just overwrote this guy's question. No, no, we'll get back to this question. My family's dying. I'm like, here's a better one. No, well, listen, we'll get,

his dad's getting new pussy. Not would you take the drug necessarily, but like, would you accept that world? It's like you could have paradise on earth born out of, like, things that violate your principles. We were still, we're just going to let them get away with everything. So they're going to be that. I don't think I could do that.

I don't think I could do that, but I don't know if like... It is sort of the natural outgrowth of like the life you already kind of live living in the West anyways. Exactly, true. That's true. That is true. You could argue you were already doing that

just by being fucking successful in America. They've cured being fat from eating too much food. Well, it's still a process, Dan. You know, that's easy for you to fucking say over there. Don't come to me. I'm handicapped. You still got to take the shots. Don't tell me to smell the roses.

And sometimes you're so fat, you override the shit. shot and you throw up because you had too much pizza. Do you have a Band-Aid tan line? I do. Hold on. But I don't understand how the middle part still looks like a band-dye. I don't know what that's from, honestly.

It looks like a Band-Aid. It looks like a Band-Aid. It looks like you had a tattoo of a Band-Aid that got removed. When did I get shots? I'm saying we haven't cured of yet, but we've made crazy progress. Are you on the... And then are you taking the pill? one or the injectable one?

The injectable one? Are you going to switch to the pill? I don't know. What if they put it in peanut butter and put it in your mouth? How have they not came out with different flavors? Come on, that's a no-brainer. Yeah, and half of it should be placebo

pills. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're just getting you to try. That's why they haven't made them flavor. We've overdosed. It's like that movie's thinner. Yeah. Everyone looks like they were cursed by a shalman.

Everyone. All right, back to this fucking guy His dad's getting moosey doing in Texas They're going to Texas for a medical appointment Prescription barbecue Excuse me I get first dips on the brisket You were supposed to say to be the fattiest cup

By doctor said I did it We could knock this out with a half pound of brisket And some coal bread Okay, so he's in Texas And what, this bitch went with him? But he also invited this bitch to come with him as well. But he also invited this bench to come with him as well.

And those two stayed with her family. Her family's from Texas. They stayed with her family together. I mean, dude, what do you want us to do about this? My brother and sister-in-law stayed elsewhere. While they were down there, my brother's like calling me and texting me saying

it's fucking weird. They're, we're apparently like holding hands. Dude, what do you think is going on? What is this question? I tell you something right now. As a child of divorce, this guy is irritating me because he's going like, why is my

dad acting like a man? My mom, he's, I mean, look, no disrespect. We get it. Your mom died. No disrespect, but disrespect. I mean, I get it, but also, how old is he? I don't think he's best. Sounds like he's in his 30s at least. I will give him, what's weird is

that it's his mom's friend, right? That's fucked up, but also man, here's the deal. Your dad probably, hopefully your dad did not cheat. the entire time he was married to your mom. Right. So he did not know how to acquire outside pussy.

Your mom dies. I'm sorry. May her rest. Make you rest in peace. But now... Yeah, that almost makes more sense. I mean, the nexus of their relationship is like grief over this lady. This happens a lot.

Brother, this is what they used to do when we were settling the West. Yeah. Someone dies. You marry their father who's close. This feels like... Yeah. You raise your brother's son, Jeremiah. He pretends your son.

Raise a barn. Yeah. The child. But this literally does. feel like some village type shit. There's another little twist detail coming here. This is a longer one. And like my dad and this woman were like holding hands.

My dad told me that he has an angel up in heaven, my mom. But now he has an angel on earth with him as well. It's just fucking weirding me out. It's a lot. And to top it all off, this woman is married and is the principal in the Catholic school. Oh, man. Okay, hold on. Oh, wow.

Catholics are fucking hypocrites. Don't be so naive to even mention that like it's weird. But the married thing is so funny. Is there any more, Eldon? I don't know. I thought that nothing was going on, but, you know, that he was just in his grief, he was finding comfort in her. But then last night, my brother called me and said that my dad,

his location was being weird because we both have our dad's location. I am not a person who checks locations, but he was like checked dad's location. And I checked their dad's location. He was an hour away at this Doreen, this Doreen woman, her dad owns a condo, like an hour from where my dad lives. He was at the Smash Palace.

But the guy who owns it is in Texas. And my dad and Doreen were like at this condo together. He was hitting skins in that. Dude, this man's fresh from the fucking, the Houston Heart Center. Yeah. He's fucking guy. By the way, he was just going to get a checkup

to make sure he could fuck. The doctor was like, you didn't need to come down here in person. Your heart, he's like, is it good enough for sex? We're going to monitor you. It's like that where he's got one of those masks on where he's blowing the ball in the air

while he's on a treadmill. But he's fucking this lady. Yeah, just making sure he's boxing underwater. Getting ready to fuck. What's her name? Colleen, Miss Colleen. He called her Doreen kind of as a fake little code name. Oh, okay, that's a full of fake

fake. Your dad is... The married thing is really funny. It's fucked up. This turns into she's the scumbach. She's the worst. What happened? Okay. Her dead friend's ex-husband and she's married. Yeah, that's hilarious. She's a

dumb bitch. But here's the thing. That pussy's so good. Honestly, dude, what are you doing? You're now, you're being very naive here. Of course your dad is going to fuck this lately. It's also none of none of your business. Yeah, who gives it? Honestly, what do you care that it's like not right or some shit?

I would tell you right now, listen obviously, I don't have kids. I don't know about parenting. I think he should have hit you more so you weren't tracking him. He didn't scare you enough to not track him. My mother's business is my mother's business. I respect it. You know what I mean?

She got, she hit me. She hit me with a one-to-one New Year's Eve. when I was 12 years old that I was like, I don't ever question in this moment. So did he have a final question? Like, what is he even asking us? What should he do?

Uh, yeah. Is, yeah. He said any help would be great. That's basically... Any help is let your dad fuck. This is what it is. Your mom is gone. That sucks.

It's weird that he's quickly getting back to it. You should start fucking the husband. You should find the husband and start having sex with him. Or this is doubtfire yourself. Seduce your father. Suck your dad's dick. And then be like, now you're fucking gay dad.

And he went the whole time, Daniel? The whole time, you go, you molested me first. What if he found out that this lady's husband was fucking the dead mom? Oh. Oh, it's like a swinger thing? Yeah. And then he finds out at the end when the dad's dying, because he doesn't talk to the dad. Yeah, he goes, I can't talk to anymore.

And he's like, yeah, over this. And then years later, you find out he's like, I was just getting. revenge. He's like, dad, I couldn't do it while your mom was here. We didn't spend the best years of our your, well, neither of our lives, but some time together

before you died. He's like, I know. That'd be sad. Or what if they have, what if? What if this is Zoron mom, Donnie? And the dad is Jeffrey Epstein. That's probably what it is. Zoron is just called in.

What if these are all code words? Yeah, but I see what you're saying, what if the dad, what if they had an arrangement? What if now, what if he, what if the other guy he's in the cuck chair. Oh. What if they're jeeing out this woman?

Or what if the dad is sucking the guy's dick and fucking the lady? Damn. What's something to think about. MFF. Yeah, what if this is an MMF situation? MMR situation that she's just getting, she's like, I need.

She goes, now you're free. But either way, whatever freaky shit your dad's up to. I mean, I hate to say it's about your mom. But if you die in that situation, the ultimate cucking is being in heaven and watching. Oh, true. Well. Heaven's the first cuck chair.

That is true. Heaven is the fucking... Heaven is the first cuck chair. Well, I would imagine sex from above. You could at least jack off to it. And you're in hell. It's just all assholes. He just lots around you all.

I can't even see nothing. Your wife and doggy? Yeah. You just see it her tits swing. You're like, stop! Yeah. You see in his nuts? Yeah, what kind of swing?

Look at the... Stop! Look at the force. Do you. Oh my God. At least cup her tits. I can't watch this bag of cake batter Move around

Yeah man Look at this is what happens People you know What do you want to do? Never fuck again Yeah If it wasn't honestly pumped for your dad And I've never met the man

Yeah And maybe this relaxes his tight Conservative views Because now he's out here Just getting sucked and fucked Let him buy an MGB Yeah Let him wear glasses

And slick his hair back now He's Texas dad now Yeah dude he's full tech He's down there in Texas. He's on testosterone. He's got peptides. Oh, yeah. Shit, I need some of those, too.

Yeah, he's just doing peptides. What are peptides? I don't know. I've heard guys. Basically steroids, but better. I've just heard dudes say it. Yeah. I'm in, dude.

I'm in. Whatever it will take to fix my back. All right. So yeah, your dad's going to fuck. Sorry, it's your mom's friend, but... What do you want? He's calling it to me like, really, anything could help? You go, ah, sounds like your dad's getting new.

What are you going to do? Sit him down and be like stop fucking, you know, Donna or whatever the fucker name is? Did you know the last time I got new pussy? Doreen. Nixon was leaving office. It is weird for him to be like my dad is a super conservative, super Catholic guy, but he's the one being like

a prude. Yeah. Yeah. Like getting pussy just because he's like married. You're being a prude and also you're being naive by of course you're fucking dumb ass dad is a hypocrite. There's nothing. They're all pieces of shit that don't believe anything. There's not. Now they're pretending it's no big deal Trump fucked kids.

Is that against the religion to, like, fuck somebody else after your wife dies? No, in fact, after your wife dies, I feel like that's kind of the one time you get new pussy. Check those bylaws. God lets you get new pussy after your wife dies. He goes, whoa, that was very sad. Yeah, that happens in the Bible a million times. Yeah. He goes, oh, Daniel, your wife has died.

How about new pussy? Turn the page. All right. Well, fuck that guy. Next question. Well, not fuck you. Good luck. I'm sorry, man.

Here, listen, this is an opportunity for you to humanize your father. He's a man just like you. Yep. And he wants pussy. And this woman is the one breaking the marriage she has. Your dad at least waited until she died. So your dad, I would argue, not as bad as a person. And everyone knows when you fuck horrible people, it's good sex.

That's true. Not the man. I'm trying to think. Who's the worst person I fucked and was the pussy good? I don't remember off the top of my head. Well, next question, Elders. Hey, Bobby, eldest, and whoever else is there. I have a bit of a strange question about my boyfriend.

So we've been together for... He's gay. What's up? What's up, baby, girl? How big are your teeth? Your boyfriend is gay shows your teeth. Doesn't matter. Let's go. I'll meet you in Texas.

about my boyfriend So we've been together for almost nine months Or almost 10 months now Also I'm 25 He's 27 soon to be 28 And things have been going really really great Like we've met each other's family Like I'm like 99% sure

This is the love of my life And like we're in game And everything else is going really well And he he asked me to do something recently that was a bit strange and I genuinely don't know what to do about it

So we started Hide the Hope Diamond in your pussy I need you to break in What was the painting that was stolen? I was trying to pull the... They robbed the Louvre They robbed it but I don't know what you was That's what I wanted to say

That's right It fell out of my head Or I just didn't know Hope Diamond's better Funnier to put your buck Oh um uh the Mona Lisa Yeah I almost said that

Put the Mona Lisa in your pussy. That's not bad, actually. That's fucking hot. Roll that up. All right. What else? I'll just go ahead. I genuinely don't know what to do about it.

So we started as like a relationship just like kind of hooking up and like the sex is. Yeah, I can relate to that. And also keep in mind that I lost my mind. Wait, is it me? Are you talking about me? I remember you? Yeah, I know what that is. I'm 36. I'm not about the turn 28.

Are you thinking of the right? Are you trying to change the numbers? So people don't know it's me? Oh, you'll leave this one. It's about me. She goes, he comes so much. You go, yeah. Couldn't be anybody else.

Yeah. Yeah, this is about me. Oh, yeah. I remember. Oh, yeah. I lied about my age. And I look so young. And I looked so young she believed me.

You tried talking to her like she's still on the phone. Yeah. No, it's me. Hey, it's me. Hey, it's me. If you talk to make a call, please try him. Hey, it's me. Hey, pick up. A month before meeting him and have only been both four people in my life.

All of them are me. Nice months. He had, he really like, scar with him. Yeah. It's me as Dr. Evil. Me as bad bastard. Your pussy is wet.

It's wet. How about you don't? How about hold? I'm going to come on your tits. Right. My penis with your freaking vagina on his head. I'm going to shoot liquid hot magma on your kids. It's awesome.

One million busts. Austin Bowers, any of his dialogue would work? He's all he talks about is getting pussy. Yeah. Go ahead, Aldous. The bar was that low for him. And he... Oh, wow.

And recently, we watched a video where... was like shitting and pissing on her boyfriend and the gold member deleted scene he likes that he likes that

and he wants me to do that and like don't get me wrong like I know you don't nothing girl right now don't you dare

try to run up and pissing and shitting on someone's face lightly choked yeah because your hair pull makes you feel nasty

this guy is trying to get half A also shit and It's like not just piss. Wouldn't you get shit and piss at the same time? Shit is a bridge too far. Piss, it's like, all right, I'm not pumped. Also, but I'll hear you out.

At least Hitler was on methamphetamies. This guy's stone sober going, I want to watch you shit. At least Hitler, when he was making Ava, when he was shitting on Ava Braun was fucking. Here's what we can do, because I'm 37. I'm not a young lady like this. I can send you some of my shit.

to show him. Oh, yeah. And once this guy sees the kind of shit that comes out of a 37-year-old man's body, I don't think he'll be into shit anymore. Yeah. He'll go, why does it change like that? And then I'll...

There's pennies from 1973. And then that's when I'll kick in with my 42-year-old shit. And I'll go, it barely keeps four in as a more. Does it get worse? I don't know how it could get in. It plateaus. Gets worse.

It gets better. Plateaus again. You get a V-dip. Interesting. The consistency in my 40s is what, you know. It's what you're chasing. It's like an older quarterback. He's not going to throw it down the yard.

Right. He's not going to get spooked by the pocket clas. I mean, me, it's like pirates of the Caribbean down there. It's crazy. Mine, I would say most of the shitting in my 20s was mulch-like because of my drinking. So this. I know mold shit. I know about mulch shit.

Yeah, I know that life. So, all right, this guy wants to shit and piss on her, right? And she's like, what should I do? Oh, no, he wants her to shit and piss on him. She wants her. He wants her. Now, I think... There's one more detail.

He said it this one time and it hasn't come up since. Okay. But she's wondering if she should open it up. Well, he's into it. Well, yeah. That means he definitely wants to do it. I'm going to throw a wild card in here, taking the whole situation in its entire context.

But part of the story was that she's expressed that she's more experienced than he is. She's not. She's not. He's more experienced. She lost her virginity, like, right. before they started dating and she said she's only been with like four people. And then she said she say that he has not. No.

No, he's much more experienced. Well, theoretically, yeah. This is a jump from high school to the NBA. That's why they don't do this anymore. Yeah, this, like, look, they should and piss on each other in the NBA. All over. That's how they get all the names. I got to start watching basketball.

I got to download this draft case. Dude, so look, I would go. go back to the fact that she said 99% sure it's the love of her life, I'm going to go ahead and knock that down a couple percentage points. Well, also, she just had sex. Yeah. So she thinks everybody's the love of her life. I don't know. I think like, look, you don't go, you put in love of your life on this relationship is kind of nuts. That's also not real. There's no such thing as the love of your life. Right. It doesn't. Well, it's just the person you're with the longest. You find somebody that's in roughly the same socioeconomic bracket as you.

like, I mean, they speak the same language. That's big. I mean, that's, oh, that's what it is. Sometimes they don't. Companionship. Basic companionship. Yeah, but you can find companionship. It's like you need somebody that's a good roommate.

Agreed. Mullen the romantic. A lot of people would ask, what's Nick been up to? He's been writing romantic poetry. I love the way you pay half the rent. Let's split the bill. Let me count the ways. Roses are red.

Violets are blue. T-Mobile has a deal for two lines. What say you? 69.92. Yeah, he's working for Hallmark. He's like, they call it stepping over the bar. Both of us are allergic to dogs, so we got a cat, and now there's an Instagram for it. And that's good enough for me.

Yeah, dude. If you don't want to get shit and piss on, I got bad in you. This is not the love of your life. Because this will be brought up, and then if it never happens, he will cheat on you and say it's because you don't. Yeah. Or you'll wake up one day and you'll be getting waterboarded with diarrhea. I think it might, something about that just reads to me, like this might be him reaching for something. Like he's like, he misread something.

Yeah, right. He misread. You're talking about this guy, like, you know, you're calling into a fucking podcast being like, and the bar was set pretty low, but he is. exceeded or whatever. It's like maybe this lady is having weird conversations with this guy where it's like... About how good he is. Because it doesn't matter. He could be like, I only fuck four guys.

So you don't have much to worry about. But then that guy is like, fuck four guys. You know what I mean? I haven't had a relationship before. I just, you know, there was this guy and he was like seven foot three. And you know, and it was, but you know, it was almost, it was like too big. And so, you know, and then that got in his head. And like, maybe he's like, yeah, right.

And then this guy's like, fuck. He couldn't get enough. Yeah. We could have had a relationship, but he had to go to prison. And so I don't, you know, like... What did he do? He killed the guy in self-defense. He robbed a bank with his penis.

Oh. He smashed open the bank. He fucked the bank vault open. And then, but then they caught him because he fucked the money as well. Something along those lines. So maybe it's like this guy is not, you know... Why were you watching porn together? It seems like this situation is like,

overly sexualized and maybe something has accidentally happened to this guy's head, because that's a crazy jump to... Shit and piss. It's crazy. I know what you're saying, but I just think, unfortunately, it might be Occam's razor here. You might just want shit and pissing.

I know. I'm just offering an alternative explanation. It's my job as an intelligence analyst to think, what could be the other story? Yeah. Right. He's a detective. He's working all his clues. So, yeah, monitor the situation. He probably is going to

want this the rest of his life. If that's something you want. Move on, sister. You're still young. Or stay with him and then, you know, you don't have to worry about that stuff until you guys are together still at age 70 when you are incontinent. And then it just happens incidentally. Yeah, honestly, he can probably just find

where you do it and roll around in it. I think the thrill is probably the hot, fresh shape. Yeah, I think he wants it right out of the machine. He wants the donut that got plopped right down. The one element that seems that I might understand is the temperature. Yeah, he doesn't You don't want reheated poo. Like, I don't want to get shit on it either way.

But I'd rather, I guess I'd rather have body temperature shit than cold shit-piss. But him being so desperate that he goes and rolls around in it. Oh, no good. So yeah, good luck, sister. Or you know what? Just do it once. Do it once. Do it once.

Because either way, it's like either you do it once, he loves it, you. You got to break up with them. He's going to think you're going to do it again. Yeah, do it once. Give him out of cooking. What if you like it? You do it once? He hates it.

When? If you, like. Just ignore it. This is going to become a festering problem. Either way you will get more valuable information. Because you will either know, do I like it? Does he like it? Also, you learn like, can you shit and piss on command?

That's a good skill to have. Honestly, I wish I had to piss on command better at sports games. And this is not a thing where you can like cheat on you. You know what I mean? It's not like this guy can like go secretly meet a woman somewhere. Like the level of investment into, because he has to go through this whole process with somebody else. I think we're talking about specialized sex workers here. you're going to cheat.

Are they like... Is that like a high fiber diet prostitutes? Do you think there's like a seal team six that comes in and it'll sit on your chest and you hire them? Definitely like people who specialize in shit. That's crazy. Imagine being... Norton, I guarantee you knows about this. Imagine being a hooker's boyfriend.

First, that's tough. But the second one, that shits on people. Yeah. And she's like, sorry. Come on. Finish your grape nuts. So we're not going to be able to get rent this month. I need you to down this protein shake.

You have been. watery and see-through for a long time. I've heard a lot of complaints. Eat your kale. Pimping a girl out, but he's like, you got a shit, baby. Yeah, have some garbonzo beans. Yeah, we got it. You fucking whore.

Eat your fucking garbanzos, you bitch. That'd be a cool pimp who specializes in that. He's got a cane with a toilet on top. He's just got old porcelain jewelry. He goes, you know, You know the difference between the United States and Australia. What's up, baby? They call me flush.

Yeah. He goes, flush, the difference is the toilet flushes backwards. You treat me like an Australian toilet. You're flushing the other way, bitch. The money can't be going that way, baby. He's got to come this way. The money got to come flushes away. The money come to flush.

They call me royal touch. This ain't Australia. First week, I put a bitch on tortilla diets. Just tortilla. I got that bitch. eating nothing but carbohydrates. Second week, that's when the attack happens. All right.

Next question, Eldis. Hi, Aldous. Hi, Jess. I'm a first-time caller just a really tricky one here. Oh, we'll see about that. I work in a job that has commissioned as part of the pay package. And one of the ways we work towards closing deals is to get on this. select list and to get onto that select list you have to have a certain amount of conversations with clients certain amount of contacts in a lot of course

right right behind others on the left play us a call you're the gay sex man I'm sort of new in my branch there's a couple people who've been here for 10 years 15 years 25 years and I recently found that the information is public and found that they are all capping like crazy. They're all faking the amount of contacts and conversations they have with clients. They'll meet with

a couple and count it as four contacts instead of two. They'll count random things they do with contacts that aren't. And I put it to me a tough position just because it will make a lot of... When I joined Cutco, I thought this is an upstanding society. I thought we were putting good colory in

this. Taddle Tail night with these fucking calls. They're like, oh, my My dad is doing something. He went to church when he's fucking... Star my dad from getting pussy. And all right, be your mother again. The other people at work are cheating. Yeah, for real.

Okay. Keep going, Eldon. Just because it will make a lot of people unhappy, but it will be more fair if I was too mentioned it to my manager. What the fuck are you doing? I'm leaning towards not mentioning it. Dude, you think they don't know? Just because it makes too many people unhappy.

This guy thinks his managers don't know these coworkers are lying. You think you're the guy who figured it all out? This is insane, dude. What a naive guy. I would be, if I listen to your podcast and I recognize this voice as the guy I worked with, it would create an instant villain for me. I'm going to kill this motherfucker. This isn't fair.

I'm doing this above board. And at work, he's the guy wearing like a stov shirt and a stov hat. He's like, No. He's got three weeks till he's coming through town. He's got that calendar in his cubicle.

And they're like, he tries to do his own but it's shittier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did my own stov calendar. No one asked. Yeah.

I thought people wanted it. He's like, he's like rail thin and it's him upside. He's a fucking asshole. He can see his whole dick and balls. He can see everything. He's trying to give it to the woman

he works with. I did it. No. Do you know Stavros? No, here, I'll show you this special. And they just like sits like this while they watch it on his phone. Oh, yeah. And they're like, ha, ha, ha.

So he's from Baltimore. They're explaining Ronnie the character and their cubicle and he goes, I don't like football. I don't like football. I don't watch it. What is this tattletale? A lot of payoff. Like, I wouldn't be making that much more money.

You're not the joker, dude. I'm sort of just my bone of desire for justice and fairness that makes me want to say something. And I also work with somebody else who wants to say something because it does take away from what we can make. But just also, yeah, I just don't think it's enough payoff. And I think she's fucking serpent. Yeah. Look, take that energy, buy a, and go to Minneapolis. And if you're that concerned.

If you want to talk about truth and justice. Yeah, right. Go. Can't even find him anymore. In Minecraft or whatever you're going to. Whatever you got to say. We'll believe just enough. No, just add them.

The Minecraft parts. The Minecraft is fine. I can't believe these people are selling gym memberships to people who aren't going to go anymore. Dude, the world is bullshit. You work in a dumb company. It doesn't matter. You're talking about justice?

Unless your owner of the company's name is the company's name. You can't go to anybody. That's 100% true. It's like if you go to like Tom Duracel of Duracel battery. Yeah, I'm trying to think what this industry could possibly be where you would get that fired up about it. And nothing is, I'm like, child cancer medication.

Yeah, like medical equipment or something or like, but no, there's nothing. All he's mad about is that these people are juicing their meeting stats or whatever. He said, he said if you like say that you have enough meetings with people, you get like better leads or, you know. So dude, You like go to the front of the line.

Is it all salesmanship bullshit? You're in sales. You're bad guys. It's Shelley Levine, dude. Yeah, it is. It really is. Yeah. Well, first you're selling and then they love you.

Stop giving me all these Indians. If you can't back you, man, you're shit. You're worse than shit. Yeah, wasn't a big plot point that they were, the guys were mad that they were getting Indian leads or whatever? They were getting Patels or whatever. They were getting the bad leads and then fucking Shelley Levine breaks in and steals the good leads. Yeah.

And then he lets it. slip when he was trying to shit all over. Yeah. Williamson. What's his name? But yeah, dude, you're fucked. Stop thinking life is fair. You work in sales.

You're a scumbag. Yeah, if anything, get blackmail on the most important person of that company. Absolutely. Yeah, use that information to your benefit. Don't be a tattletail. Just also start cheating. Yeah. You're not in a, you're not in a, in an industry where, like, morality exists or matters.

Hey, you know what? You're the first salesman that. told me that things weren't working well here. I've got a bonus for that. A $2 million bonus. You think it's that or getting fired? Because if I had to pick one of two... Charles, this is the first time anyone's been honest

that I've been waiting for this. No, people like that usually, like, if you probably, if you told your boss, you'd get fired. Yes. If you turn around and shut the fuck up, I can't put this in a report. Let's see. We'll see. If you started that, if you started that, got promoted and that was the boss,

if you tell your boss about a systemic problem, you're, You are the problem. Yeah. He reads it. He's like, are you fucking with me? You didn't email this, right? This isn't in the company laws. Who all have you talked to about this?

We can make this go away, right? I want you to keep your job. Oh, you put it in writing? Okay, well, you're fired. Yeah. Thank you for your time. I don't know what to tell you. I really want to watch Glenn Gary, Glenn, right?

Yeah. And anytime I've mentioned it. You got Jack Lemon fever? Yeah. Big time. big time. If I could go across the street they had a village east or something, that would be perfect tonight.

Go get some Chinese food and watch. It's not bad. I don't think they're showing Glenn Gary I know, but I'll call over there. Use your grown man voice and call over. My friend Nick Mullen's coming over to watch. Can you put Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, on? If you don't, I'm going to send ice to take her.

She, her on the phone. Someone is very upset. Give us something fun to go out on Eldis. Bobby, baby. How we doing? We're doing great. Hello, Eldis.

Hello, amazing guests. I hope you're all doing wonderful and as beautiful as your faces are. So I have a quickie question. I can't really give any trigger warnings here. I don't think I really need to.

So my grandpa passed away. If you hear me, we're just not going to awesome. Guys, you can't do grandpa deaths with Nick. I was raped by your grandpa. It wasn't even his.

You can't say grandpa. You can't say grandpa around Nick. That's where he's been. We've been trying to fix this. Go ahead, Elders. We're just now getting through all of his stuff. Shout out. I went to that.

Oh, yeah? I've run into a bit of an issue. and donating his things and that he had... Just too much Nazi memorabilia? A small mountain of porn. Hell yes. He had a small...

Respect. It's got to be over a hundred magazines, my guy. And we're talking... Respect. You are so lucky you're finding magazines. Yeah. What a fucking chicken and rice version of porn. That shit is so tame.

It's so tame. It's like... You can put them on eBay. You can put old playboys on eBay. You could make money off that porn. I kind of want, I want some porno mags. Vintage porn. Yeah.

You're so lucky that it was an 8mm footage of a boy that was missing on a milk carton. Like, you could have found something in your grandpa's stash that you're like, oh my God. You said you went through your grandma stuff? Dude, I was worried about it. I found one letter of my dad being pussy whipped when he was 25. Oh, wow. After he divorced his first wife. Very funny to read that.

Yeah. Because he's like, he's got new pussy like that kid's dad. And he's like, she's the best. She's the best thing I've ever had in my life. And my mom dated my dad like a year or two later. And I was like, do you know about this lady? And she was like, no, that was, your dad lived in Southern California. I didn't know if shit was going on down there.

That's beautiful. Like, just one generation ago, we knew so much less about everyone. Dude, he made them. We didn't need to low, ever. That's why standards were higher. Yeah. You didn't have proof. Because you were lying like that last guy.

Everyone was pretending to be better than they were. You're allowed to lie all the time. That's why, I mean, I've said it a million times, but, like, Elizabeth Warren getting, like, fucking canceled over the Pocahontas stuff. Is bullshit. Yeah. That's like, if you met... That's one of the most classic white people thing to say.

It makes her more authentic for her to be like, well, yeah, that's my Cherokee eyelid. That's true. You know? And so I'm 1.30 second Cherokee, so any time it's a little rainy out there. Before she got in trouble for that, white people, we would always pull it up when it would have to do anything with nature. Yeah. Where you go, actually, I could tell the mud is wet.

I'm a 14th Arapahoe. Yeah, right, right, right. I come from trackers. A long line of trackers. That eagle senses water. I can hear it from it screeching. No, truly, literally every white kid I grew up with. Dude, I grew up in Colorado.

Everybody's personality was that. You know how much teal people were wearing? Because they said they had an uncle standing rock. A foxy lie like that is, is authentic. Yeah. And then the people were like, oh, well, that makes her a liar. It's like, no, it doesn't. Yeah.

I'm with you. Pretending she wants universal health care. That makes her a while. Yeah, pretending she gives a shit about us at all. This woman, you sell it. She found some porno. Is there more pornobags? We're talking full of bush.

We're talking 80s, 60s, 70s. Nice. What is this? Dude, cool, 105? 80s, 90s, and now? And you're saying it in a way as if it's bad. We're talking. Playboy

Club International Hustler Yeah we're talking I love this horn articles Yeah Interviews with Terry Bradshaw I'm not here You're saying it like it's bad

But it seems like An upcoming look at the second season of Al Found it like years ago And then in going through all this stuff I found the hostash We've got VHS We've got cassettes We've got

A couple game boy games. Yeah, so my question is, what should I do with this? Sell it. Do I like donated? Do I take it to my local sex shop? And, you know, maybe they can do something with it. This is a gold line. This is your inheritance.

Lady. Can you send us some? First of all, we would be honored to have some of your grandfather's pornography in the new studio. Not only that. But, I mean, Nick and I would have to come back if you did an unveiling, we're going to go through it. I would love that. Send it to stop.

I would love to have an autistic YouTube channel where I do pornography on boxing. Like hard car. Okay, welcome to Pussy Surprises. Okay, today's box. Hey, it's Gloryhole. Hey, we're ripping wax here today on Pussy's surprises. Oh, this is a vivid movie. Oh, wow, her clip.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. They're burning her clip with a branding arm. This is a classic. This is a classic. Rocco's a Freddie movie. Yeah, yeah. Wow, Rocco,

renowned for his girth. That would be awesome. Can we? Asexual porn. A guy that clearly isn't moved by it. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. Oh, this is hard card. This card stock is much thicker than most. He actually, he's holding her up while he's giving her anal. You can get maybe $20 to $27 at this at the local flea market. Please send in your porn stock. We would love some of your. grandfather's pornography, but if you don't want to send it to us, yeah, you should sell this.

You will honestly make a killing on this. You'll make thousands of dollars. You're sitting on a gold mine for real. Or if you have a nephew or something, it could be a nice family era. No. Pass along so far. Does she sound, does she sound black at all? Because if this is classic, when it started, yes. If she, if this is classic black pornography, like, when it started, when it started, she had like a sultry kind of, there was like a, she just sounds really listened. Towards the end, it doesn't. It didn't. It didn't. It sounded. It sounded. I think she sounded black as well. I did it first.

But I'm saying if you get like old time, old time, 80s, like black exploitation, 70s porn. That's a great point. You know, she also could be mixed. Great. Could have a white grandpa, her white side. Or she could not be either of these. She could be a white lady.

Vietnamese for all we know. I would love that. Then we're getting into glary glitter. Gary Glitter. Either way, but that's true. Gary Gary Gitter Don. How about that?

That's a fun character. Gary Gitter. Lauren Michaels is up. Larry Gitter done. He goes, we're going to do we're going to do it three times. Larry Glitter done? Larry Glitter done.

Glitter done. Glitter done. Larry the cable pet. Play it from the beginning though. No. Or is it a call over? Go ahead. You can play it.

Bobby baby. How we doing? Hello, Eldon. We don't have to figure out this girl sounds black. We're not doing this. Tell us if you're black. We're not doing this. We'll take it the pornography no matter what you're racist.

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. But either way, either way, you should sell it. You should sell this porno. This is a lot. No joke. This probably is worth a lot. Like vintage porno in pretty good condition.

It would have to be an amazing. They've turned everything into a collector thing now. Like basically, everything's rated. You can be, yes, everything's fucking rated. So if it's like, if you've touched it, it's already worthless. But if it's still in the package... I feel like there's got to be more grace for porno mags, given how bad they can do it.

Yeah, but they don't put them in those sleeves like comic books. Yeah, if they're in a sleeve, I mean, it's fucking crazy. They're battling the elements. Put it in a sleeve. I saw on eBay, like a box of Pokemon cards from 1998. It's $35,000. Oh, my God. And people buy that shit.

That's insane. Yeah, they're like into that. But then the box is great. You can't open them. They have a box. sealed. And then that's graded. They're like, oh, there's a little dent here. So now it's worth five bucks.

Yeah. So look, we hope your grandpa wasn't too rough on these mags as he was jacking his shit. And we hope they're in good shape. But there's a lot of them. Yeah, get the ones with the less mileage and send them missed off. I think, no, you can send us some fucked up ones. You can sell the good ones. We just

want a little piece of your grandpa's pornography collection in the new studio. But I think, I think what you do is sell them because I really do think you could make a good amount of money. There's people out there that would pay good money for that. Yeah. The good ones you should send in to get graded.

Yeah. Is there a pornography grader? I think they grade everything now. There's one company that, because people complain online that they've ruined, like, you know, if you just want stuff from your child. Right, right, right. They grade everything now, so, like, you can't just get things. Right, right, right.

They're all, like, you know, way expensive. So look, yeah. Good, good on your grandpa. I think you're sitting on at least a couple Gs here is my, is my inclination. I would, yeah, I would guess. How much would you pay for, it's like a fucking 60s, like, porno mag with some tits out? I would pay top dollar for that.

50 bucks? Easily, I pay 50 bucks. No, maybe me, 12, 75. 12? 699. Local taxes. $12.75. I would do sales tax.

For a 1960s playboy that's been touched, all touched up. You don't even know. Who's in it, though, also? What kind of tithe. Sophia Loren. Sophia Loren. I'll pay for you. Elizabeth Hurley,

Beyonce. Elizabeth Hurley. So feel around. Did she do pornography? Zoron, Mom Dami is a baby. Epstein sold his baby pictures. Yeah, Epstein fucking Zoron is a baby. Dude,

some guys sent me the literally most clearly AI picture. Of the two of them? Of Zoran as a child. It's just like some brown. Oh, with Bill Gates and Bill Clinton. I saw that one.

And you really thought it? I was like, are you? Like, I usually don't respond. Bond, but I was like, dude. It's also, too, that picture, they're standing like in the middle of Fifth Avenue. It's like at no point where, like, you know, Bill Clinton,

that's the president and Bill Gates, they wouldn't just be hanging out for lunch. It's hilarious to accuse a child of being on Epstein's line. That means he was being raped on there. No children got to. Of all that shit, I saw today, my favorite one was people posting, like, I saw one where they're posting comparison pictures

of Zoron and Jeffrey Epstein to show that he's his son. And it's just that they're both smiling. That's really funny. They're like Jeffrey Epstein smiles. Zoran, Mom, Donnie smiles. They really... Zoran really has turned people insane, dude.

He broke everyone's brain when he goes, I'm not going to Israel. Yeah, respect. Oh, thanks, dude. And they were like... Like, what? You're the mayor of New York. You need to eat a bagel within the first hour.

The fact that seven out of the eight were like, Israel? Israel. Israel? Israel. It's crazy. Israel. Who's the guy that was like the table? Dork where he's like, um, yep, well, I would make my fourth trip to Israel, followed by my fifth

trip to Israel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that guy's name? I remember who you were talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, I would have two servings of Israel. And it's like, how about you just be, do the job of the fucking city? Do you know, mayor of Toledo have to go to Israel?

Yeah, he's like, yeah, dude, I got to go to Berlin. Yeah, I think the answer is yes. Yeah. I think they do. I think they do. Anyway, well, sell the pornography. You know, that's about it. And I think that that was the one you had dialed up to go out on Eldis.

Excellent, excellent. Well, salute to you. Fellas, thanks for coming. Yeah, it's fun as hell. Thanks for the A&W Zero. Dude, the Coca-Cola. You know we get busy with the dice. I don't know what the hell the holiday vanilla coke.

It seems like it's, but is it different than regular vanilla Coke? I don't know. Yeah. Holiday. It's a holiday. Yeah, it's British. It's holiday. That might be the only box in America.

On a holiday. When you're off wood. I've said, I got, those are my final holiday. The holiday soda soda. Oh, you stocked up. December time, you got about 45. I got so many in December. No joke.

I'm a diet soda. Because there's a storm coming in nine weeks. I better get all the diets. You're enjoying the vanilla holiday vanilla right now. It's all a joke. It's all a joke. It's actually is. Everyone's having a.

nice time with him though. I didn't hear any fucking complaining when you were drinking them. I'm not complaining now. I'm just saying what happened. That's going to do for us, folks. We will see you. Go see these fellows on the road. See us at Radio City and wherever else we're coming. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.