Stavvy's World - #173 - David Sims and Griffin Newman

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

David Sims and Griffin Newman join the podcast to discuss their podcast Blank Check, the history of the Simpsons action figure Stav has on his shelf, the artistry of Robocop 3, encountering Leonardo Dicaprio’s parents at a screening of One Battle After Another, the debut of Stav’s new couch, and much more. David, Griffin and Stav help callers including a woman who fell victim to her husband’s cold sore, and a guy whose wife never does any chores around the house but has awesome H cups. Check out David Sims and Griffin Newman’s podcast Blank Check: https://www.blankcheckpod.com/ Follow Black Check on social media: https://www.instagram.com/blankcheckpod/ https://www.youtube.com/@blankcheckpod https://x.com/blankcheckpod   Follow David Sims on social media: https://x.com/davidlsims https://letterboxd.com/davidlsims/   Follow Griffin Newman on social media: https://www.instagram.com/grifflightning/ https://x.com/GriffLightning https://letterboxd.com/grifflightning/     Thanks to our sponsors!! Warby Parker - https://www.warbyparker.com/stavvy get 15% off when you buy 2 or more pairs of prescription sunglasses Hollow Socks - https://hollowsocks.com/ for the Buy 2, Get 2 Free Sale   🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Opa, welcome everybody to Stavvy's World 9-4-800-Stav. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We are here with David and Griffin from Blank Check with Griffin and David. Truly my... Maybe my favorite podcast.

What? Maybe my favorite podcast. That's insane. That's actually a bad... You can just say favorite movie podcast. Even that would be nice. I would have tentatively accepted that. I used to not watch...

It would just be sports. and movies. And now even sports has fallen away from my life. Really? Just because I'm so busy, I can't keep... You're on the road. You can't... Like, it kind of feels like...

It feels like I'm hearing somebody describe, like, their kids that I don't know when they're talking about, like, the last couple drafts I've been completely out of it. You know what I mean? I'm like... I'm squarely, like,

sort of like, up until 21, 22, I was so hoopsed up. You knew everyone on every team. I went to a Nets game recently, and they play children. Like, their team... his children. I know. The Nets just drafted like, yeah, it's all, they had

like five draft picks. Yeah, and so I know, and I was like, I don't know any of these guys. They have a guy called Wolf, and when he hits a three, they go like, ooh. That's fun. It's so funny. It's kind of fun. Well, the Nets are just trying anything to be a team. That was the vibe. They're so fake. There's such a fake team. And I like going.

I like going. I'll take, listen, if you got tickets to spare, I'll take them. But let's be honest with what's going on culturally, it's impossible. I went to see Wemby. I was not there to see the Nets. Nets are there if you, if you cannot get the Nix ticket when the traveling got, like, I've seen Yonnes play the Nets a lot. 100%.

You know, like I've seen, when there was like people I really wanted to see, that's what it's there. And listen, stadiums or the arena's great. Food's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. That's huge.

That's huge. But yes, it's, I have, I do. There was definitely, I will say this, there was a period of my life where I was going through a very dark moment. And here's, you know, I was. thinking about this when I did your guys pod where I was like, how did I start listening? I gave you, I couldn't remember and I kind of made something up,

you know, but what happened was... You did say it was a dark moment, and then you made up a fake dark moment to fill in the gown. But how I got to you, because it was a dark moment, it was one of those moments where you can't be with your thoughts. So you need an evergreen... Just shatter in your head. Two idiots. I call those all the time moments, for me.

Those are just called grist moments. That's like me where I, like, do you ever do the thing we're like, oh, I got to walk down the stairs right now? I think I need to listen to a podcast while I do that. Because I have to suck. Eight shirts. God forbid I think of something while I'm doing it. It goes all the way down to it.

I have to wash my hands. I think I got to queue up a podcast to do that. It gets really pathetic. But you know what it was? And this is actually even funnier. I was going through a dark moment. And I have a few movies that I see as sort of like reboot myself when I want to, I'm actually saving Crete too.

Right. Because I haven't even earned. That's the highest level of. reboot movie. When I, I'm sorry, the first, not Creed, Creed, the original Creed, but that's like a, uh, because to me,

that's like when I'm ready to really get my life in order, when I've cleared everything out, I'm watching Creed every day and getting fucking, you know, like, I'm not even motivating you to be like him and find yourself. Yes, yeah, I have to be in PT so I can lift real weights so I can, so I'll probably do

steroids or something or like peptides. Like I'm gonna, I'm gonna really, whatever kind of crazy rich person like medicine to make you young, I'm doing it, right? Whatever it is, I don't know yet. That one tech guy's son's blood, right? Oh yeah. That tech guy's son's dick blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all need to do a leach on Brian Johnson's teenage son's penis and I'm going to put that blood right into my veins. I'm going to watch Creed. How incredible will it be if Brian Johnson's like, guys, you all made fun of me, but it turns out it is the cure for everything. My son's dick blood.

He is. I guess he didn't explicitly take his son's dick blood, but he did measure his dick against his son's hard dick. Correct. It was like number of erections a day or whatever. I always jump to the same thing. I always describe it as his son's dick blood specifically. But I'm doing any of that and I'm getting on.

And then I get to watch Creed. You surely have seen Creed. Of course I love. But now you're like... But now I'm like, it's so powerful. It's like heat is a celebratory movie that after we filmed my special in Austin, we watched, we did mushrooms, had a barbecue, and coming down, we watched heat. Because heat's a little sad in the perfect way. It's good for, good as it

come down movie. Kind of melancholy, right. The tragic tale of wangorow. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's sad for you because Wayne Groh doesn't make it. You're rooting for Wayne Groh the whole time. I really, I'm very haircut forward when it comes to who, when it comes to who I identify with in a movie. Yeah. But, and so a lesser, a lower, a lower, a lower, level Creed reboot movie for me is a Dark Night Riot or no I'm sorry the original Batman Begins. Batman Begins is my favorite. And I watched it as like a I'm beginning like Batman. You know what I mean? It was like when I got so fucking fat, I was like I moved to Baltimore for a year just to like walk around eat turkey burgers and walk around. That was like my rehab. And so I spent like

and then I got Begonia and I had to leave Baltimore because I was like what? This is crazy. But I still spent like six months. You were like, I can't be a movie actor who lives in Baltimore? No, it was like, I told my ages, I was like, I am not doing anything this year. Don't, unless it's like, and I gave him a list that was hilarious. It was like Scorsese, you know what I mean? Like literally, it was mainly like to say stop emailing me with, you know, like random offers.

The roles of like a fat guy who like, you know, shits his pants and act two or whatever to set up the hot people. You know what I mean? If you make it all the way to act too, though, that's not bad. That's true. That's true. Yeah, that's true. If it's not the inciting incident. But you literally were like, I'm not getting off this couch.

I was like, I have five scenes in a movie directed by an Academy Award nominee. Me and like a Plemons, like kind of someone who's the best actor of the generation. This is even higher than what I was pitching them because I didn't even fathom this being something. So I got that and it was obviously like, oh, well, this doesn't count. I have to do this. Right. But there was like six months where I was really fat as shit. I mean, I weighed like 70 pounds more than that.

than I do now. Fucking, all I could do was walk gingerly. And honestly, and I watched Batman Begins. And I watched every movie. I literally loved that movie so much. And it was hitting just right that I searched every movie podcast that has ever covered Batman Begins. Right. And that's, that was actually how I got.

It's a really, it's a really good episode of ours. It's a great. We were really, we're being silly. We talk about how Mark Boone Jr. looks like he sleeps in a pizza. What are your best lines at? Yeah. Because he's just so great. Yeah, yeah.

That's a role I definitely could play. Oh, yeah. You can walk into that role. The guy who Batman is like, you represent Gotham's corruption. Yeah, like at the lowest level. No, I see that guy and I'm like, come on, man, this, when

they come up with this one for the fucking Pattinson, they got it, they need a guy like this for Pattinson. Oh, yeah. Let me be him. You know what I mean? You need to, right, interact with more scum in Batman 2. The Pattinson one has a lot of like criminals. Classy gangsters.

Yeah, right. And it has a lot of corrupt politicians. Yeah, right. But the pizza cop is an important... I think the pizza cop is a low-level corruption. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that guy. That guy's in Memento, too.

He's the guy who rents him multiple rooms in the motel because he's like, you don't have a memory, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just keep renting you new rooms. That's fucking awesome. I love... I will say about the Pads of Batman, I really loved it until they had to make it clear that the Riddler was bad.

Because until he just does terrorism straight up He's kind of completely correct That's what I like in that movie He's completely correct Where he's like he's killing the right people Yeah all the politicians are bad They're all corrupties putting in the papers basically

And it's like until they get like The once he like you know Goes like Columbine at MSG on their fake AOC On fake AOC Like they made like eight things to be like This is the bad guy by the way Because he seems too fucking awesome

And reasonable And you're almost get the sense And if Pattinson, when he's, when he, when Batman is talking to him, if he's just like, love what you're doing, bro, but we got to dial it back? Like, there was a moment where the Riddler wants to be friends with him. And he's like, listen, don't kill the Wayne family. I think I got a mole inside. We can deal with them.

You know what I mean? Because the Riddler reads him and is like, I get the sense that you also hate Bruce Wayne. You got some weird. And he's my bring up Bruce Wayne and you get kind of touch you. We can bond on this. Of course. That movie annoys me because I should love it. 90% of it

I'm like, walking and rolling. Like it looks so good. I think Pattinson's great in it. And even like the whole... Zoe Kravich is out of control. She's a babe. It's the second hottest time she's ever played. It's got Colin Farrell doing Italian.

She's also the voice of Catwoman in the Lego Batman move. Oh, of course. Oh, that's what makes it do you do. I did not. I could see you as a guy who's jacked off to Legos, Griffin. Not yet. You've definitely jacked off to an action figure. There's no what you haven't.

I didn't say anything. I didn't say it. He held up a finger, which... You know, a picture. You can read anything you want into a finger. I just held it up. I'm sure it's going up,

but you have the psychiatrist, the child psychiatrist of the Simpsons action figure? You were in the bathroom and Simps said, I got to see what the Simpsons figure is. And I said, that is historically one of the worst selling action figures of all time. I've been in this game long enough and charting things. That thing was a pox on store shelf for like five, six years.

Who would want the psychiatrist? I got it because it was. stupid because it's the psychiatrist. And if I'm being completely honest, I thought it was, um, what's his face? Marvin Monroe.

No, no, Lisa, the, that's not the, Oh, Lisa Substitutes. Lesa Substitius. They never played by Dustin Hoffman. Yeah. I thought, I just like,

looking at it really quickly, I was like, oh, that must be him. And then I realized what I bought. So I was a little pissed. Because the Dustin Hoffman one is kind of touching. Yeah. And it's an episode that stuck with me. It's a great episode.

Right. Yeah. Can I nerd out for like 30 years? Please, please. So these things... Go ahead and grab this. Grab the thing for us. So we show the audience.

Brad Goodman. So everyone can see Brad Goodman. And it's Albert Brooks, right? It's like the one of the Albert Brooks. But it is like of all the Albert Brooks characters, it is far and away the least known. Yeah. He's also visually so unappealing. Of course.

He is just a guy in a sweater. So these action figures talked, right? They had like... Oh, really? State-to-the-art microchips in their feet. And then if you plug them into an environment, like on the back, you can see the retirement home. Wow.

Place he was never in. He has lines. He works at the DMV, the retirement castle, and Main Street. So when they started making these... You could. Right. And when they started making these,

they had a deal with all the main voice cast. And immediately people are like, make Troy McClure. And they're like, we don't have a deal with the Hartman estate. We can't do any of the guest stars. So they worked really hard to build a separate deal structure

for the guest stars and put them in their own guest star-only series. Wow. And they had an Albert Brooks deal, so they were like, all the Upper Brooks characters are on the table. They made a Phil Hartman deal. This series was supposed to have Rabbi Christofsky, Jackie Mason himself. Yes. And he pulled out at the last second because he thought it was offensive to Judaism to make a rabbi action figure with a plastic Torah.

So they had to overproduce this guy so hard to fill in the gap. Wow. And they were just like, I don't know. Maybe we could just flood the shelves. People buy it. Sad kid got handed this. No. This was like every store had hundreds of him

and no other characters. Right. Even like disaffected deadbeat parents were like, I don't think this is it. Right. Because the rest of the lineup, Troy McClure. Banger.

Herb Powell, Danny DeVito. Oh, that's a good one. He's a good one. But he just looks like Homer with hair. He just looks like Homer with there. DeVito voice. Joe Montania, Fat Tony. One of the greatest.

Phil Hartman, Lionel Hutz. We're like, we're dealing with like All-Star. That's my favorite. And then, of course, Albert Brooks's Brad Goodman. Why not to? I don't know.

Hank Scorpio. They did get around to it. They got it. But that was a big mistake is they put this first. Wow. That's the kind of lore I got in this. And now no one remembers that you ask me about masturbating to action figure.

It's my fault. Putting an action figure near him. It's my fault for putting an action figure around Griffin. Yeah, it is within a hundred yards. I'm keeping my hands up. I love, when was your first, what was the, do you, was there an action figure? You were like, oh, fuck. I need this fucking thing.

when you were like four. Oh, is there one that really... Because you're a big... I mean, you love movies, you love action figures, comics, all this kind of fucking... Dork bullshit.

Yeah, absolutely. I got no rebuttal to it. Part of me being on this, but it's like, I'm the cool one when it comes to this stuff. Even though I also had action figures and read comic books,

but then also, the magic of our podcast is we throw Hosley in there. Of course. He's actually, right. God in trouble and went outside and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, like, touched grass literally.

He, like, had a bike he used. It wasn't, like, the first one, but one that I was hyper-fixated on finally got, was small soldiers was a movie I was obsessed with. And Brick Bazooka is the, I think it's the George Kennedy character. Oh, yeah. He's sort of the blonde guy, but that was... I love that movie. And, furthermore, I believe Burger King created the Western Cheeseburger as a tie-in for it.

The rodeo burger. The rodeo burger with the barbecue sauce and the onion rings. And I remember both seeing that movie. That might be the, the fast food tie-in. Was it Borg9 or George Kennedy? That I remember the most. I'll get there. There's also the Batman Forever.

The Batman Forever. The Cup. So good. The Cups are classic. My mom still might have the Mr. Freeze somewhere in her fucking house. Those are fucking awesome. But those are the ones. And by the way, I fucking love the Batman, the Batman's that...

The Schumacher Batman. Yeah, Joel Schumacher. Yeah. Just made by an insane gay guy. Yeah, of course. It's just love... Who loves fucking over-the-top shit, the nipple suits. It's awesome.

We talk about this a lot because we've covered all the Batman movies at this point, one way or another. One way or another. And at the time, it was like the sentiment of like, but Batman had so many other things and they keep doing this cartoon-y bullshit. When's someone going to take Batman seriously?

Give him integrity. When Batman begins, comes out. It's like hooting and hollering. We did it. He's a real human being. Totally. Crime is scary. And now just every day,

We're like, can someone make a dumb Batman? Yeah, like, you know, make it darker. Like, literally you can't even see how dark. I mean, they're doing that shit, I mean, they're, dude, the Superman shit. The superhero shit. Yes. It's like, the broth is fucking thin. They have fucking chopped all the meat off.

Now they're boiling the fucking bones. They've boiled them eight times. It's literal rocks soup. We need to have fucking cartoons of everything. Yes. Everything gets a funny cartoon. Like, DC is just doing fun. It's like, enough with this bullshit.

And I do, I do hope it's fucking. it's over. I think it's mildly over. Like, we'll still get a couple a year, but it's not. It definitely feels like it being the dominant thing in culture. The thing that like grown-ups have to talk about. Like, fully over.

It's not totally disappearing. No, but I mean, last year, they were like, Superman and Fantastic Four, and people were like, yeah, those are for teenagers. Yeah, that's going to be the way, like, there was, like, they kept making westerns, but nobody gave a fuck. Like, if superhero shit feels like the westerns for us,

because, like, you go back to the fucking, you look at the movies that we're, were made in like the fucking 40s, 50, 60s. It's like a lot of fucking westerns. Yeah, Westerns. And then it became the thing where, like, what will happen in like 40 years is someone will make like an unforgiven. You know what I mean?

100%. You know what I mean? Like the Super Bowl's never gone. Yeah, they're never gone. Yes. But I hope they're fucking done with this bullshit. It's like, yeah, let's get some guns. What it's like 70 year old.

Can we get some fucking guns in movies? Get some guns in there. Where it doesn't bounce off a guy. But on the other hand, I don't want serious people. shooting guns at Batman anymore. No, no, no, no. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I should be able to shoot a gun at Batman. Yes. You know what I mean? Oh, fuck. I feel like, again, we should be a fucking bats. Oh, shit, I'm fucking getting out of there. I'm at a strip club. You know, I got titties and cake in my mouth.

Let's really make it slapstick. I do love that one first guy in every Superman movie. I guess to be like, I'm going to take one shot in it. Let's see what happens. He's a man. He's right here. Yeah. shoot bullets at his skin.

That's how this works. I don't think I'm like just going to represent how strong he is. That's why I'm here. I think I can get this guy. I won't be made to look the fool. I can take him down. I can't know example.

But yeah, so that's my hope anyway. I don't know. I'm done with that. I'm so fucking. Was your favorite movie last year? Of last year? I mean, non-begonia. You know, you put me in a real movie.

I'm going to say, and I really do think, by the way, Plemans was, and we should say programming note folks. This is after the Oscars. Right, this is the Oscars. This is the Oscar recap show, but the Oscars have not actually happened for us. We're time-capsling our predictions as

recap. We're coming off of Bagonia, sweeping everything. Every category. Came out of nowhere. They actually wrote in Jesse Clemens. It's the first ever write in. They were like, sit down. Ollie, where's Plemmons? Which he did get robbed. I think he should have won. The reason he didn't get in that category

is because it's the most insanely stacked. Like, it's just, and like, I'm not saying you shouldn't have gotten in, but I'm just like, the competition is crazy. That's fucking bull. Look, look. All right. Blue moon was fun. Blue moon was fun. Ethan Hawk gives a good performance.

Ethan Hawk, one of the most legendary pussygetters of all time. It's true. Right? There was a period in Hollywood. Like, there's that hilarious Matt Damon anecdote where he was saying, like, there was a moment in Hollywood when every leading man, everybody's in the same auditions. And then they would see Ethan Hawk come out of the room. They'd be like, fuck. lost that one.

Like Matt Damon was, he was the boogeyman to Matt Damon, right? He, he, he was like, he married him with Thurman, cheated on her. That's how much pussy this guy got.

And he gets an Oscar for playing a 5-3 guy who can't get pussy. That's what he, that's what we're fucking rewarding him for. It's like, and I know it was good. But it's fucked up number one. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Isn't there a 5-3 bisexual that could have actually played that role? The answer is a horror. Oh, now we're talking about. if you do this. Now we're talking about representation. But all of a sudden it doesn't matter

of a 5-3, oh, a 5-3 fucking theater-obsessed bisexual who has a complicated relationship with hot women, but fucks a lot of guys. You don't think we can find an actor that fucking, that it's balding in 5-3 that could have played that? Stavi, you find an actor who does that.

What are the chances that they also understand depression? Yeah. That's the real question. Right. I mean, it's an acting challenge because he's like, what would it be like to play? a fucking loser. He can't even fathom what a fucking loser this guy is. He needed like

10 years thinking about it. But they even said that, yeah. They wanted to do the movie for 20 years. Yeah, the link later, it'd still be like, you're still too hot. You're still too hot. Yeah. No thank you. And it's like, and that's the one where I'm like

great move. He's either not already because he's the man. Yeah. Everybody loves him. He loves him. He's the man. He's the fucking. And that's no disrespect. He's a legend. I love that guy. That's so funny. But get the fuck out of here. That's pleasant.

And by the way, I think he should have fucking won. My favorite, to answer your question though, sorry. Yeah. Probably the secret agent. It's so good. It is so good. It's cast so well. It does, like, you know, it, you want to talk about real faces. I was about it has the most guise. That felt like a documentary in the way that's like,

and a time, you know, I mean, Martin Supreme and Credit, like, I, a little, a little, I've gotten distance from them because I think my favorite movies this year were Marty Supreme and One Battle because because of the experience of seeing those movies where it's like going to one battle opening it was one of those where I was like I don't need to know anything yeah and I don't want to know anything PTA Leo sign me the fuck up I'm going first day I'm going IMAX big at the biggest fucking IMAX right that experience

of getting out of there you're like holy fuck yeah I just watched a Hollywood epic yeah that they don't it's a really it's a fucking melodit it's an old-fashioned movie It's some shit that could have been made in the 30s, as far as I'm concerned, where it's like a fucking high-stakes family melodrama, right? Intergeneration. It's a movie movie. It kind of has every genre in it at the same time. Totally.

And so you leave that and you're fucking buzzing and you're like, holy fuck, movies exist. They're awesome. They're real. And then Marty Supreme for me is just like, I know, I just, I can't even be biased. That's your language. Yeah. It's your love language. That's me, dude.

Me and my 20s was a piece of shit. with a stupid dream. And I thought it was more important than everyone in my life. And I was wrong. And I'm, by the way, I'm paying for it. I, there's no, there was, there's no, like, like, I, Marty Supreme to me was so,

I'm Marty Supreme without the sort of, no, spoilers, obviously, but like, you know, so if you haven't seen it, you know, fuck you, I'm giving you an extra long spoilers break because that's the kind of fucking good guy I am. I'm vamping for almost a full minute. For you, you fucking piece of shit. Elders flash something on the screen

that says spoilers about. to begin. He has the most, like, I didn't even buy that he would give a fuck about his kid. Because me in my, my, if I was 25, you're like, okay, well, oh, my life's fucking over. I just, I have to go to fucking New York. I think that's what the movie is. I agree. No, that's what I mean.

My third. He's crying out of love, but also because he knows his life is completely changing. I think the ending is so interesting for that reason because the one in arguable thing is that this is something emotionally he is not equipped to contend with. Yes. He is realizing how bullshit his life has been up until this moment. And I like there being a kind of ambiguity to like, how does he fucking react to this?

Well, who is he tomorrow? I think you're right. And I think that's probably the best sort of general read, like covers the most basis reading of the movie. But I also think seeing it a third time, like the first two times didn't even, the kid didn't fucking matter to me at all. You're like, when's he going to stake O'Leary?

Totally. Yeah. Mr. Wonderful. Exactly. It's like, moving to get fucking Koto. Now it's time to fuck him

and be like my head. I'm like, yeah. But no, like, you're still not reckoning with like, oh, table tennis didn't become the Super Bowl? Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he doesn't win. Um, but I will say the third time I was like, no, this is power. Like,

also it's like, this is hollow. I'm at 37, I'm 37, I'm 37 now. I'm not, you know, Marty's age is like 25,

whatever. And it's like, I'm realizing now, fuck, I gave too much of that shit and I think in a lot of ways he was saved in being able to be a complete person where he gets the victory

that's emotional and important to him which even in an exhibition beating Koto is what fucking matters to him and to me that's the moment I cried I did not give again didn't cry when the fucking baby comes out but when he beats fucking Koto I'm like fuck dude

that fucking piece of shit won't let him in the tournament you know what I mean like I'm so mad at that little fucking Indian guy to me he's as evil as Sean Penn You know, he wanted Gordon Ramsey to play that guy. That was his original idea. But then he found that guy. Exactly.

And he was like, this is way better. He was way better. Yeah, he was just like, I was looking this guy up. And he's just like an all, again, shout out to fucking Jen Vendetti. Like she's the fucking, I mean, she's the fucking. I mean, she's genius. And they've always find incredible people. So those movies to me were like just the most just appealed to me for one battle, almost like general movie.

This is spectacle. I would love that we're still. Surreal. That's how to put it. It's surreal. Yeah. And then what Marty is just like, this just is so me. It's so rest in you.

It feels like being in my 20s. But also seeing that kind of like a film making sensibility of movement, a kind of collective collaborators. Yes. Who have been like contemporaneous with us. Totally. Level up to epic level. Yeah.

Right. It's nice to see them like exactly. Because without even knowing it like, because again, I cut movies for me, it's like, I watched some as a kid. really track directors. It wasn't sports for me. You know what I mean? And the Saftees, without even meaning to, I was kind of organically on board with their career from, you know, starting with, I mean, when somebody showed me good time. And then it's like uncut. And then the guys that made that got something going with Sandman. Yeah. Of course I'm fucking listening. And then both,

I mean, I even really liked, I mean, Smashing Machine got fucked like ticket wise. I fucking love. We all. We all like that movie. I thought it was fucking awesome. Yeah. So it was cool to see. Yeah, from that level too, it was cool that it's like, oh, these motherfuckers keep making awesome shit. But yeah.

But having said all that, after seeing a lot of them, and to be fair, I still have to see, I still haven't seen, it was just an accident. I actually bought it. I think it was way too stone to stone. I was like, this deserves me listening. And then I watched Robocop 3 instead. And I got to say, Robocop 3 is awesome. Stavi, I agree with you.

It's so crazy. He's very anti-2, but pro-3. Well, two's fine, too, though. Can we... You can say, yeah, we're going to do it on our podcast this year. The Robocop series on our Patriot. Robocop, basically my favorite movie ball of time. You could be weird.

Because I might need a little support in the defense of three. Oh, if you want to cook the books, if you want to put, if you want to, if you want to stack the deck, I loved it. So I would love to be. But even two might be interesting, though, because I love two as well. Griff doesn't like two. I'll give you my analogy. You've never seen... I've never seen the sequels.

I've seen the original. And you've never seen the remake. And I've certainly never seen the remake. Yeah. And I think Hussein's the same way. And the first one is so sacred to me. Of course. Well, the first one is...

I've probably seen bits of the sequels on TV or whatever. Because they were always on cable or whatever. And I hold the original in such esteem. It's the only thing that I was like this about where I was like, I actually refused to watch the sequels. Wow. Because I want to retain the purity. I'm usually such a completest piece of shit. Sure.

And finally, I think. I can't remember if it was in lockdown where I was like, fuck it. I'm watching them. Right. And I watched too and I was like, this is just kind of worse Robocop. And it bumps me out. He's like Robocop and he shoots people.

I'm a little less precious about it. Robocop's so good that a shitty retread of it is still like a B minus. Right. Like it still goes down smooth. He doesn't like that Robocops like back to being a Robocop. That's what I don't like.

You know what I mean? The victory's gone. Yeah, because at the end, Robocop. He's like, what's your name, son? Murphy. It's like, really, I'm Murphy. And then, yes, Robocop 2 just sort of... Helmets back on, his name's Robocop. He's shooting people.

It does the same shit all over again. Right. And, yes, the... Now, Tom Noonan's awesome. Noonan's incredible. Because he's the villain, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even the rest of the...

I would say... I don't like the rest of the gang. The rest of the gang is not as deep. The thing... Everything with Kane is great. Who's the villain in three? Three. Oh, three's kind of awesome because it's like now, now it's bringing globalism in the mix.

Yeah. The one frame. Frank Miller kind of worked on, right? He worked on, so he wrote a script for two. Then they like scrapped and used pieces of what he wrote for both two and three. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, so you can read, they've made a comic of... Three is more interesting.

Three is much more interesting. And Frank Miller, I don't think his thing was perfect, but like he had a little bit of the Verhoeven humor, which I think two can't totally dial in. Commercials and two are good. But even then the commercials in two, we don't have to get it. Like, this is so fucking funny. Yeah. Where we're just like getting into the minutia of Robocop. I just watched the psycho sequels.

You ever seen the psycho sequels? No, no, no. They're weird. The thing for me with three having just watched it, right? Is like, everyone's like, that one's, but it's PG-13 and it's like kid shit. You don't feel it, though. And it's not even Peter Weller. And I'm like, at this point, if we're watering down Robocop, I'd rather water it all the way down to the dumbest bullshit imaginable, where at least it can have goofy fun.

Sure. And he fights, like, robot ninjas. And then he fuck. Has a jet pack. He flies at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Like that shit, I'm like,

no, to me, it's a difference between like having a high end steak, a steak at a diner. Yeah. And a big Mac. That's a good point. And I'm like, Robocop 3 is a big Mac. That's fair.

Right. Here's what I'll say. I don't think Robocop 2 is a steak at a diner. I think it's a steak at fucking Chili's or TGI Friday. Sure. Where it's like, you know, where it's still just barely edible.

Sure. If we want, because I do think it's, it has enough. Again, Robocop is so. good. Robicop is like one of the best shitty rib eye. You can still cut the

little fatty parts and eat that. That's still good. The middle meat might not be so good but there's still some good as shit. It's a good analogy because it is a movie with a lot of fatty parts. It's got some awesome some awesome stuff in there. Yeah, but some stuff you need to clear off the plate. Totally, totally, totally. But

we won't, we will stop talking about the RoboCop's sequel were they in play at the Oscars this year? Can't remember. Was Robocot 3 in the midst? Romocop 3, yeah, they're doing that. They're starting best sequel from the 90s. May I share with you? Please.

Because you were talking about your one battle experience. I can't remember if I've told you this story. I don't know. I certainly haven't shared it on Mike. This feels like the most appropriate place to share it. Yeah. I ended up having to take a last minute trip to L.A. Okay.

And I had tickets for one battle in like 70 million. A member of the armed forces made you jack off at gunpoint? Exactly. Is that what you're going to say? Yeah. They got your dick card. Well, it's a G. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the one time I've jerked off to an action figure. It was at an action figure's demand. I was like, got to get the right tickets for one battle. And then suddenly they had this trip. Because it was all like, you got to see a vista. No, I'm at. I want to go opening night and whatever.

And then I had to like give up my tickets. And I was like, fuck, I'm not going to be able to see it. Right. I remember this. I remember this. It's like, I have extra tickets for the vista. Oh, wow. I love the vista.

Opening night 70 millimeter. That's awesome. And I'm like, incredible. I go. I get there. it's the screening that DiCaprio, Chase Infinity, and PTA come out and do an intro ad and they're doing a video, and PTA is like directing the crowd on how to line up,

and the clip went a little viral, and it's like, I'm literally the last row, and that's happening in the front. And I was like, this is the best way to see this movie. This is perfect night. Yeah. But DiCaprio comes out and he makes a speech. He's like, this is my childhood theater. I love this place.

My dad took me here every weekend, and my parents are here tonight. And he points And they stand up You have told me this They're two rows directly in front of me Right His weird hippie parents Yeah he has his dad and his stepmom

Are like like I saw They were they were extras in Once upon a time And they just look His dad's in like His pizza is like a water Yeah

He's like a weird crusty Hollywood And they look like They're from the 70s Underground Comics guy And it's the dad The stepmom And his biological mother

Oh cool Are all there Right And so I'm watching them watch the movie And it has this sort of 40x thing where you're like, right, this movie is so much kind of like DiCaprio playing his parents. He's so fond of his dad. Same to just imagine Leonardo DiCaprio's parents watching a movie just the way like, I wonder how my son.

I wonder how my son Leonardo DiCaprio did in this movie. And I'm truly like, I'm watching them watch the movie and tap each other and it says if it's a school play. That's cute. You know, they're not like, of course, our son. They're just sort of like, this is funny. Right. I think his dad's the one that's text him. He was like, fucking get those old bitches off, dude.

That'd be awesome. His dad was like, dude, nice, dude. I see who you're up. I see who you're dating these days. So halfway through the movie, my friend, Derek, who goes to see it with me, gets up to go to the bathroom. And then I see Leo's dad get up and walk out immediately after him. And I'm like, oh, my God, they're going to be in the bathroom together.

And we'd already, it's been pointing out, that's so funny. That's DeCaprio's dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Derek comes back out, followed immediately by DiCaprio's dad. And I was like, you were just, I don't know if you noticed, you were just in the bathroom at the same time as him. And he goes, yeah, he took a big shit and didn't flush.

So we watched the rest of the movie. That's fucking awesome. We watched the rest of the movie. You just can't shake this knowledge. Like, yeah, right. We're watching the rest of the movie and 30 feet from you. Different room. Leo's dad's log is just marinated.

There is a DiCaprio ball. You're in the back. You're close. You're close. You're close. Yeah. No, I've been in that theater. If you're in the back, you're really close to the bathroom.

Watch the rest of the movie, right? Yeah. Movies long. You go with a bad. Griff went with a fucking Ziploc. I was about to say. Maybe I can make a hex and face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Geto Pat made out of, get made out of Leonardo DiCaprio's father's real shit. So, sit through the rest of the movie. movie. At the end, I run into a different friend of mine there, Morgan. And I'm like, hey, how are you doing? He goes, like, I got to tell you the funniest thing. You're going to love this. My girlfriend went to the bathroom before the movie started. She comes out. She's like, some woman took a giant shit in the stall and didn't even crush it. Who the fuck would do this? Then we sit down. They come out to do the intro. DiCaprio goes, my

parents, they stand up. His girlfriend goes, he was DiCaprio's mom. Are they just like, both of his parents? They don't want to waste water. Dude, I get that, dude. Yeah, I guess that must be some hippie shit. That's awesome. Rules. It's awesome to do that.

It's like, all right, listen, if you're at home you want to leave shit and you're fucking like, you know, compost pile. If you sit into a box that you're like broccoli stocks go into and shit, fine. Fine. Fine. Yeah. But at the, you're fucking public bathroom. It's insane. Of your son's movie

being shown to like an audience? They are the most visually distinctive people in the world. For anyone doesn't have an image, Google DeCaprio parents. They're crazy. I mean, God bless them. It's awesome. It's the best. And it is so funny that they made like the hottest person like of the 90s or whatever. Yes. That's fucking beautiful.

It was incredible. Wow. Yeah. No, a couple no flushers. That's fucking awesome, dude. that's a beautiful way to see it though that's fucking awesome wouldn't be great if we heard like you know all the like DeCaprio things with her like oh he like vapes and keeps headphones on during sex

and whatever no one's been like he's got some weird thing where he never flushes yeah yeah yeah he likes to feed women until the point they have to shit but he won't let them he's like uh he's like he does like shit BDSM he's like sorry it's clogged sorry it wasn't me oh I bet you need to take a fat shit

don't you I bet you just want to leave it in the bowl What you can't. Don't rich guys like him have mansions with like 12 bathrooms so he could like go from one to the other. I wonder if he's a mansion guy. I don't know. Is he a mansion guy? I don't know. We don't know much about him, which I respect.

I already said this one on the podcast. The only thing I know about him is he has the greatest collection of movie posters. Really? That like if you go to his house or whatever, he's got this like five star incredible antique collection of movie posters. Yeah. It's just incredible. It was the Nikki Glazer joke, but that this guy has been. and so mega famous for like 30 plus years.

Except that he fuck supermodels. From the second, we get like past 98, 99. We've learned no new information other than I guess he cares about the environment. Right. He likes electric cars and he dates 25 year olds. What we've gotten is yes. But here's the thing, even the 25 year olds thing, the more the more you like kind of understand how media and things work, it's like that fully could be fake.

Totally. That could be like we just want him to look like a play. want him to know is real. It's honestly, Bruce Wayne-esque, where it's like Bruce Wayne is out there getting his dick sucked in the middle of a restaurant. He's very Bruce Wayne where we're like, yeah, we know this guy, right? And then you're like, huh, has he ever said a human thing

in an interview? And it's not that I think he's lying or like diverting attention. He's making us think that he's not hiding anything, that he's just like a guy out there. He's just like, I love movies. I make movies. I'm like, which I get. You do. Yeah. I get that. But you should come on.

Yeah, Leo, come on to Stavis. I bet you've been waiting or Leo's parents. Waiting for the invite. Leo's parents might be good. I would love to have Leo's parents. Yeah. You know?

Can't you listen? Go to the bathroom before you get here. But you're welcome. You're welcome. Before you get to the studio. But if it's yellow, you can let it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. They're in good company on this side of the room. That's true. Sometimes a flush doesn't happen all the way. The first, one of the first podcast we did in our little makeshift.

We're in the makeshift downtown studios. This is very funny. because you guys are seeing we have a, we've upgraded the couch maybe, are they catching are they catching the rug at all, Eldis? It doesn't matter. I don't know.

The point is this, we're put, chronologically, this is the last of a batch. Wow. So they're going to see a lot of the shittier couch

before. But this, the first one we did with Eric Andre, eldest had just clogged the bathroom. He was clogging the toilet. In my defense,

it was like one of the first times I came here. Sure. I didn't know how bad the water pressure. was, how to finesse the flushes when you're in there, and there wasn't a plunger here yet. But just to clarify, that was not for lack of trying to flush. You just did not succeed in getting it down?

Yeah, yeah. I have an Australian friend who told me that a turd that won't flush is called a grogan. A grogan. And I've never forgotten it. They love weird little slang. And I don't know if that's true. Grogan mean like... It means like your bud, right?

No, I think that means like a type of white trash. Oh, yeah, that sounds right. John Ham's character in Shrek 4. Oh, really? Handsome Ogre. Oh, Brogan. Oh, Brogan, the handsome ogre. That's kind of funny.

I haven't gotten there yet. I've never gotten to Shrek 4. I haven't gotten to 4 either. Are they making 5? Yeah, big time. Oh, yeah. You're not in there? Not in it.

That's actually a stuff. That's a little fucked up. Or you're being really canny right now. Oh, are they? Oh, they're making a Shrek. What's the number? Are they going to take his family to a diner? An ogre diner.

Bro, if there's an ogre diner diner and I don't do the voice on on Shrek 5, I actually will be fucking pissed. You will storm dream works. Yeah, I really, look, I'm doing okay. Maybe if Shrek comes down a couple years I'm in, but I'm just saying, if I see a diner, if I see an ogre diner, it's going to piss me off.

Dude, if I don't serve fucking Shrek Shrek Suvaki, I'm going to be pissed, dude. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. Fuck, that would be fucking awesome, dude. Anyway, what are you going to do? That's not, you know, for now, you know, not, I didn't see the four, though.

definitely saw Shrek in theaters I saw Shrek in theaters that was a... I saw Shrek in theaters I saw Shrek too in theaters I left it there Yeah yeah My daughter's watched Shrek a few times But she didn't stick with Shrek

Like so She thought it was okay How old you kid? She's five Five Yeah Okay that's a fun age To like be introducing

It's the best Yeah And now every animated movie I saw goat I saw hoppers I'm like oh we just go to We go to these looks That's awesome

She loved goats I haven't seen goat Yeah It's pretty good Wait is that the Steph Curry one Yeah Really

Yeah Interesting All right I'll give it a word So you saw it in theaters. This is a very, and this is a funny thing about like listening to guys' podcasts. Because I just kind of jumped around through movies.

Right. You're at different points in our life. So it's very funny to like pop in and out. But I do love that the joke that you eventually had to ban about you living in England. Yes. Where everybody would pretend they were surprised. And you got, it was funny.

It was funny watching you get more and more pissed off to the point where you weren't even kidding anymore. You're like, stop fucking bring it up. Listeners agree. that that was funny. Yeah. I know. This is crazy.

It would come up organically in like every episode. It does. Because it's like my life. Because you're talking about when you saw a movie, where you saw it. Right.

Like my entire adolescence. So many of the directors we cover people who were like 90s. They had some thousand. Coming of age for us. And so I start doing the bit of being like,

I think I've heard that before. And you did for our listeners, you grew up. Like you were born here? I was born in New York City. You're a Manhattan kid, right? I'm born and raised. Yeah, yeah.

And maybe. And maybe. the most. He's the most. You look that to such a hilarious. I am little man. It's like you look like a little guy. Like you weren't even allowed to grow

because you're in an apartment with no sun. You know what I mean? Like it looks like physically. Not only do you appear with your style wise, but like everything about you is like, oh, that's a guy who grew up in Manhattan, right? Right. Which is very awesome.

I love that about you. It's very. I'm working through it about me. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's great. It's awesome to be, but first of all,

I think it's awesome to be a guy. I agree with that. To beach any kind of guy. I don't know. It's a big win. It's a big win. So that's huge. It is so funny that growing up with other New York kids, they would be like, you're such

a fucking New Yorker. And I'd be like, you're the same as me. And they're like, no, you're more. You're the one who embarrasses us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. It's like in any kind of group, you're doing the stereotype. Yes.

You know what I mean? It's like, you know, if like, if like un Asian happens to be bad at driving, other Asians are like, come on, man. That's what they say about us. that's what they say about you and like talking about action figures and movies and shit like you know what I mean like that's like multiple different groups are all like

make it a little bit less of a layup to yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but I the bit heightened obviously from like being like what I haven't heard this before what age did you go I moved to London so you grew up here though I was born in New York

my dad's English though oh okay he died but he was English he shouldn't have been dealing drugs dude I saw that you got fucking gunned down elderly British heroin addict slash dealer gun down in the streets but my dad like

got a job in England so I moved to London when I was nine lived in London then went to college in Britain like oh wow so I was there until I was 22 9 through 22 13 years 13 years but but you were old enough to not even get a hint of

I got the accent you do when I went and if I go back it comes back but I sound I always say this I sounded like Madonna you know what I mean Yeah, I just sounded like some weird kid who was sort of American, but just like had the British idioms. Sure.

And the whole thing of moving there was, I was just like, fair play, old chap. Not like that. Not like that. But I moved there and I was just like, I'm nine years old. I don't want to get made fun of. Like I'm going to get made fun of. Of course. You'll say some shit in front of these nine year olds, like eraser, the word eraser to mean something to like rub your pain.

And they'll be like, what the fuck did you? Because they called a rubber. A rubber. And like, there were a million pitfalls like that. Totally. I just have to learn how to avoid it. I'm like, I just don't want him to fuss over me all the time. And I got really into football, you know, soccer.

Soccer, footy. Just to prove. Just to have the language. Here's how not American I am. Yeah. I love football. But it's also sports is the easiest way to talk to people. So like you just like, I got like deep into into football.

That's one of the most like general pieces of advice I'll give to any, because we have a lot of absolute fucking losers that listen to this podcast. Impossible. Because that's where we all, by the way, I'm not saying. that disparagingly, time is a flat circle. I was once a the version of me that listens this podcast. I listened to whatever the

equivalent of this was when I was an 18 year old fat loser. Our podcast exists because we didn't know each other at that. Right. We just have these conversations with nobody. Of course, of course. Like on a message board or something. It's true nightmare. And I want to say all the dorks out there and Griffeyer

it's too late for you. It's over. It's settled. Just some learning baseline sports talk. Yeah. Is the most useful small talk in America. In America. I can say as the person who does not have the ability, I could not agree more.

Exactly. If you had just other men, but also talking to, like, anyone like, like at a restaurant and fucking, you know, like, just a guy on the street. Like any, like, it's just most people can talk to you about sports. A hundred percent. Yeah. And it just is a quick thing. Father-in-laws.

You know what I mean? 100%. Like just a scary older guys of any kind. Father-in-laws, it's like sports and, like. like what roads I took to drive to your house. That's true. The older you get, it can be like traffic patterns. Like you take the Deegan?

I'm like, no, I took the prokner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, interesting. You know, usually they're always working on that left lane over there. You know what I mean? Meanwhile, I go to sports bars and I'm like, so do you know they actually overproduced the Brad Goodman action figure because it's funny, Jackie Mason pulled out.

Yeah, yeah. What's funny about you, Griff, too, is that like, I would assume that you, your fan, knowing, not knowing you, right? just when I was like, you know, listen to the podcast, that you, your family was just like four versions of you? Very much not. You know what I mean? That it's like, you just assume it's going to be like,

oh, everyone, it's like a cartoon, it's like Millhouse's family. You know what I mean? Everybody sort of looks like you, but just like different heights and shapes. I believe I used the term to David, this week, Rugrat parents. Yeah, sure.

Every rugrat parent is like a reverse engineer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's funny because I did very randomly, when we met, I met your dad. Simultaneously. So I might have actually touched your father before I touched you. Well, he touched you. Yeah, he came in for a hug fast.

And it was a wrestling, like a grapple hut. No, my dad... Which I love about... My dad's greatest dream in life was to be a sports broadcaster. That's all he wanted to do. He was like a wrestling kid, but he's a... Yeah, he's like a little kind of... Being a little guy, you've got to go wrestler if you're going to be an athlete.

Or I guess jockey. And he had... You know? I think he was a little too, like, broad to be a jockey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's, like, more built than I am. Totally. And he had the wrestling thing, but it's like, there's not a professional path to this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, what do I want to do? I literally want to talk about sports for a living. Talk about a guy that would have loved having a podcast. Yeah, truly. Oh, no, he was born out of the wrong generation. Absolutely, yeah, yeah. He, um, because he finally, like, he got a shot eventually to do a TV, a local TV broadcast,

and he was like, I can't stand being on cameras. Wow. I hate this. Really? Right, he's Albert Brooks in broadcast news. He's sweating the second they turn it on. But what he did leading into that is he worked for a company called Sports Phone. And Sports Phone was for gambling addicts, of which he was won.

Obsessive betters on games every night. It's like a 1-900 number for fucking gamblers. Tell me about your parlay, big boy. Should I take the Spurs under tonight? It's crazier than that. It was, although that would have been a good business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like if you have a lot riding on the games and you can't wait until the papers hit tomorrow morning.

We'll tell you who won a night. To know if you've ruined yourself. Right. It's a pre-recorded message that you call up in every hour they update it with the current scores. So it was like the sports center tracker, the like ticker before the record. So it was a pre-recorded like vocal message, you know, voicemail line where he was precision Pete Newman and he got to try out like the voice. That's incredible. And his lingo.

And he was like, and this is the stepping zone to be in the guy on camera. Wow. And then he just collapsed. He was like, oh, it turns out I hate doing this. But it's just... Time to pivot. Which is interesting, though, because it's like... And then your brother works in basketball.

My brother is the general manager of the men's and women's teams in Sydney, Australia. With the Kings? Yeah. And it's literally like... The NBL? That's right. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, is like Luke Longley involved?

Yes. He's like, that's my brother. Is Andrew Bogan involved? I believe so. Yeah. It's like every Australia. I think Matthew Delvedov is on the team. Hell yeah, dude.

Yeah. Player coach Matthew Delavado. I think basically. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. That's so, so you were based, and so the rest, it's just interesting to think about, yeah. So every, it was your family, it was like your dad and your brother were sporty. And then it was like, there must have been like, what about your mom's side?

What's that? My mom worked as an actress for a while. Okay. And then got really frustrated with it. Sure. And was like, what if I have a normal kid? Of course. And then.

And then, nope. Yeah. She went, what, one for three? I don't know how many kids. They're all weird. They're all weird. They're all weird. Okay.

I mean, here's what I always like. How many do you have? Three, there's three of us. My brother's the middle and I have a younger sister who works in food.

It's very much like a role, Tannenbaum's family. We're rather than being five mill houses, it's like everyone's a main character. Yeah, everyone's got their own thing. And they've all got some fucking insane bit where you're like,

oh my God. I mean, I love his family. They're all great. Yeah. Oh, totally. I mean, your dad was so clearly like a little guy

who needs to be hang out with a giant guy at all times. He's clearly a Timon and Pumba. Like, Most of his life is Timon and Pumba. So, like, just a back film. He immediately came to meet Gabris. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah, because we... I loved him, dude. He's welcome anytime. So I was doing... In fact, I would love to do a fucking bonus set with your dad, dude. You could get that. Precision Pee. Precision Pee.

We were doing... Doe Boys had Gabris and I come with them to D.C. for a live show. Yeah, that's where we met. I happen to be hanging out. And you were like, oh, I'll come drive over, come see the show. And then you end up doing a thing on the show as well. And so my dad, one of his childhood best friends had just passed away.

Oh, right, you guys were there for the funeral. Going to be in D.C. the next day. I already had this plan with the doughboys. And I was like, if you're getting in that night, do you want to come see a comedy show? I think you like these, you'd like these guys. And it might be like a nice kind of relief. And not this friend who had died, but like his all-time best friend who is my godfather as the first kid, Big Howard.

Big Howard. Who was like the Timon and Pumba. That's his giant, like, heavyweight wrestling buddy. That's awesome. He's really kind of Gabris adjacent. Totally, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the boisterousness and the life of the party thing.

And so I'm at dinner with my dad. And he's doing okay. But I'm like, all of this is he's working through a lot of one of his childhood friends die. I'm like, let's go back to the hotel. We're going to meet the other guys and then walk over to the theater. And we walk into the lobby. You, Gabris, Mitch and Weiger are all lined up. Wiger's the smallest guy.

Right. And he's already six whatever. And he almost starts crying tears of joy. And I'm immediately just like, goes in. He literally starts wrestling me. I don't know the guy at all. That's so crazy. He's trying to lift you up.

Oh my God. It was like giggling like this. It was fucking awesome. It was awesome because we slapped right into it. Yeah. Fuck you. You're fucking old piece of shit. You're not going to get me.

And Capris and Michigan. We've known for a while are like, this is the piece I was missing and understanding you. It's funny that he's like you but with this added like energy. And then since then I don't want to say that he's become your biggest fan. But you have become

the thing he is a biggest fan of period. And he said to me recently, it was a good time to learn about me. Perfect time. That was exactly what all this other shit was popping up. Yes, right. So it feels like it's crazy. This ascension is everywhere.

But we also were walking like four blocks from the hotel to the theater and guys kept on like dapping you or high-fiving you. And he was like, how do these people know who he is? And I was like, it's a big deal. And you were also on your home turf. He thought it was just a fun fat guy, which that's who I, That is part of him being impressed.

That is where I am. That's why. That is the stone. That's the bedrock of everything. Right. At the end of the day, you take it all away. Dude,

I'm still a fat guy that's fun to pretend to wrestle with. Which is a favorite kind of person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said to me the other day, he was like, it's crazy how big Stavi's gotten. I open Instagram.

Every post is him. Yeah. And I was like, do you know how algorithm? Yeah. Right. Anytime Stavi shows up, you like it.

You post it. You have been a name in your, sleep. In his mind, he's 90% of users are posting you. Of course. 90% of the time. If only we lived in that world. There's so much to talk about, too.

I mean, we'll have to take some calls, but maybe you'll just have to bring precision Pete back, dude, because... Easy ass. Because, I mean, his obsession with competitive eaters is incredible. The fact that he's a gambling addict is awesome. Is he still, or has he... Gambling? Yeah.

I think he stayed pretty... He's, like, tough to be a gambling addict. those impulses have transferred into other areas of his life, but he's not literally gambling. Yeah, he's cheating on your mom. He's cheating on your mom. He was your dad's heroin selling partner. He fucked him up.

He's a three-card Monty. He's running the con for others. Oh, fuck. Yeah, we got to have both of you back. And we do have to talk. If we can, the problem is I'm gone a lot, but I'd love to talk Robocop 3 if we could figure it out. We can do it.

There's no one. We'll get you. But, but. But we should take some calls, Elders. So why don't we, why don't we see what our, you know, our gentleman here? We didn't even mention Sims, you're a father of three. True. Which is like, because you had twins, right?

And that's what I'm in my parents, too. They wanted two kids. And they got completely. They got one, then two? They got one. If they had two, no chance they had a third. No, of course. That's so rare.

The only reason I'm reacting is like, you never meet people like that. Yeah. I meet. Now I'm, my kids in school, my five-year-old. you know, I'm meeting other twin parents. And I'll sit in them like, oh, I have twins. And she's like, they're like, oh, she's a twin. I'm like, no, we got twins after her.

And the twin parents go like, oh, that's fucked up. Jesus Christ. It's like you got, you had like a, you got dealt 15 at Blackjack. And you're like, all right, I'll hit. Oh, I'll hit. And they're like, give me, give me everything you own. It's all gone. It's all gone.

Fuck. I got greedy. But yeah, but I have three kids. Why are you bringing this up? Oh, sure. Just to show the kind of psychological mastery, the different, where the context that this advice will come from. Absolutely. We're still essentially a child in almost every way.

And then I'm kind of right in the middle here. So just letting our guests know that that's who you're getting some, that's who you're getting advice from a nice wide swath of lived experience. Right. And don't most people just call them and be like, I jerk off all the time? Like, what do I do about that? Well, we'll see, Elvis. Yeah, sure, sure. We just did a couple, we just did a bunch of pods

because we have to kind of record. So we're getting like the drags? Well, we have thousands of calls, but eldest is horrible at his job. So he probably, what happened? This happens all the time where if we do a batch, you just see the degradation over time where it's like the first three episodes. It's like, whoa, these are great questions.

And the fourth ones like, by the end it's like, um, uh, I got a knife and I'm thinking about using it. I'm going to do it. My mom's been looking at me funny. And then it's like, so anyway, here's, you're legally liable for this, Stav. It's always shit like that by the end. But let's challenge Eldis. Now, he did get here over 40 minutes early to prepare.

And the setup takes 45 minutes, but that's another thing. No clock toilet. No, well, no clock toilet. That's something. Well, let's see. And I get shit here today. That's good to know, man. Hey, we'll let the people decide.

Let's let the people decide. Yeah. Okay. Hi, Stavi. I just called and I talked out my story, so I'm calling back. Anyway, hi, Stav. Hello. Hi, esteemed guests. All right.

So, I am married to my husband. We have been, I'm married to my husband, whatever. Jesus. I've been married for about a year and the past, like, year or so my husband's been getting a lot of colds. And, you know, of course, we were trying to be careful. about kissing and all that shit. I've gotten cold soars since I was a kid, so I wasn't really worried about if I got it,

then, you know, we'd just deal with it, and I'd take some meds and call it a day. But this last weekend, I looked at my pussy, let's just be frank, and there was some blisters. And to my shock. Yeah, that's a tough. I show my husband, and we immediately went to the thought of, okay, well, how the fuck did that happen?

He kept apologizing. He's like, oh, no, fuck. That could have happened any. There's any way that could have, right? We both aren't sure how it happened, right? We're both confused. Let's crack open a book together or something. And we're trying to figure it out, right?

Right. the same pace. Okay. I don't know whether to be mad or not. So, yeah, I know my storytelling is fucked up and crazy. Hopefully that made sense. So he could just

let me know if being mad at him is justified or not. So crazy that people call a deer show. I know it's a trade thing to say. Yeah, yeah. I know. I know. She's just like working through all that and she's like, she's like, go to the doctor. She's like, call a friend of it. I think Stavi first.

Right, right. Throw that in the bucket. Okay, sorry. No, no, no. You're absolutely right. And thank God they do. So that's the lifeblood of this show. It's the engine.

I understand. How much we've been zapped of community and places to talk to a neighbor or trusted acquaintance. That's gone. Instead, just yell it into a tree. Yeah. It feels like these people trust you more than just running it through in their head one time. And you know what? During the first most basic line.

experiment and I'm happy to do it. Now why would I have, right? I hope that a lot of, because we're not going to get to every call, I hope that it's kind of the first step. Because when you say things out loud sometimes, it clarifies it for you. Yeah. Because I've had that with people who have called in and you kind of even sense.

You hear them processing out. As they explain it. She just realized for the first time that she's married to her husband. That just came together. I am married to my husband. I thought she was about to say for how long, 20 years. And then she's like, for one year.

And I'm like, okay. Okay, so it's, you know, it's in memory. Yeah. So basically what's happened here, hopefully. Hopefully. Here's the read, right? I guess. And it seems like they are, it doesn't seem like she has any worries about cheating.

Like immediately where it goes to my head is like, oh, he's been getting new cold sores. And now I have herpes on my pussy. It's like the fact that she didn't immediately go, oh, my husband cheated on. If you really, if this guy just has had cold sores on his mouth his whole life, Yeah. And you, as a couple, decided it's pussy-eating a clock, regardless. You know what I mean?

Is it... These things can happen? I don't know. It demands a question. Right. That feels like that's the one step that's being skipped over is... Did contact happen between those body parts? Yes.

Within a window of time. But she also says that she has had... She gets cold sources a lot. So I guess if this is not a situation where you are scared that you've been cheated on... And this is fresh herpes from someone outside of your marriage. And it's just the fact that you and your husband both get cold sores on the mouth. And now they've transferred to your pussy. That's tough.

Go to a doctor. Yeah. See, you know, if it's, I believe they are different types. Even if you can get them on both parts. And one, one, this outbreaks are more serious. I don't know shit. But as if long as you are not scared of cheating and I, hopefully I didn't just put this in your head and you didn't at all, then this is, I feel. I feel like you both fucked up here.

If she's calling in, isn't it like a 5% fear of cheating? Like there's like at least the ambient. But you're right. It doesn't sound like she's like, and also there's a weird thing on his credit card bill. Or also he keeps sending weird texts. I don't know. My read is if she already had any preexisting fear of cheating, this would be viewed as. This is it.

Unfortunately, here's some evidence stacked onto that side. Right, right. And her calling is almost, am I crazy for just dismissing this? Purely as physically. Do I need to say this out loud to test? Am I worried about cheating? And it felt like in her being like one year married to my husband,

maybe it is fine. Right. Maybe I'm not worked up about it. How many callers do you get, though, where the answer is just like, oh, you should go see a doctor. See you later. Like every call.

Including this one. I'm not a doctor. I can Google some shit for you if you want. Every call it's like go to a doctor, lawyer, psychiatrist. It's one of those three. It should not be me. But, you know, we try and within those, at least push them in the right, one of those three to go to. And you haven't had a turn yourself into the police immediately called yet.

No, no, no, no, no. I think Elders knows good enough. There was one where we had to cut because someone was like straight up discriminating against their tenants. We had to just cut that. You had Hannibal Burris on the planet? He's like, did you watch Broad City or not? Uh-oh, looks like somebody's rent is getting jacked up. So look, if this is simply should me, should my husband have been more careful about getting his mouth herpes on my fucking pussy, then listen, yes.

But maybe you can be a little annoyed, but it takes two to tango, sister. You both know what the fuck is up. If it's a contained, if it's just the two, I don't know. And if you're not cheating. You have like a lifelong proclivity towards cold sores. Yeah. That's just you're just playing the fire. Totally.

If you're, in fact, I say if you're with someone, I've had a friend who was dating somebody with herpes and had to wear a condom every time with his wife. Yeah. That's insane. Get herpes. If you know you're going to, yeah, just throw in. If you know, and look, that re. Is that one of those things where like everyone has it or something?

Yes. I think in general the herpes things. But then it's like there's the different kinds. I think in general it's like way overblown. And it's even when you have it, it's like you can, you know, you can get medicine or whatever. It's not that big a deal. But in this case, if your question is, should I be mad at my husband? Yeah, I guess.

But also you have him. You let him meet your pussy with the cold sore. You thought you were bulletproof. You know what I mean? And it's just not true. Maybe she should be mad at him anyway, though. Just about something else. Yeah, yeah.

Mag him. I would say now that you're, you're married, stop having sex with him. Because that's how you're supposed to behave. Exactly. What's your problem? Having sex with your husband after marriage. Haven't you seen sitcoms?

Even you've seen according to Jim? You have to only trade, you have to trade, you have to use pussy as a weapon in a marriage. And only during a sweep sweep. And only, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh. Come out in a fucking teddy that, like, covers all your ankles.

What they thought was sex, you know, network sitcom is so good. Still standing. Oh, yeah. Elders is a big still standing fan. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wait, which one was that?

Was that the one? That was the one with the king from Game of Thrones, right? Yeah, Mark Addy. Mark Addy. The second front. Oh, no, that's the one I liked. You liked the one with... Yes, dear.

Yes. Elders was a huge... CBS was just like keep making those. I don't give a shit. We need one on every night. Yeah, it was so bad. I just remember, like, I would watch it after school. They'd show reruns at like three p.

Bro, you watch it during college. You would throw it all in college. You know, high school college. I definitely... It was in the rotation. It was just easy to watch. It went down easy. Eldest loved it.

Everybody loves Raymond. Okay, so here's my question. I literally still standing. No, no, no. Yes, dear, back and forth. A coworker asked me, because she was sort of writing about the, like, the heyday of the Apatow. Right. We're saying, you also are a movie critic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she summons me over and she's like, okay, okay, so like, obviously there's these examples. If you have somebody wants to talk. about hot women fat guy. I should send her my way. I start calling like, well, yeah, because there was like, according to Jim, yes, you're still standing. And she's like, okay, but King and Queens.

King of Queens being, that's the one she was citing, right? And I was like, yes, people know that one. Then she was like, does Raymond count? Like, in terms. And I was like, not really. Like, Raymond's kind of hot. It's a completely different set of. Everybody loves it.

In fact, his family is the fatness. Like the, like Peter Boyle and Doris Roberts and all that. The whole idea is that the man is like underneath the woman and she has to deal with him. But also it's like this, this sort of like message, this implicit message that like, this is what relationships look like. The woman has to settle. She has to put up with this bullshit. Deal with this dork. She's got to be a mean boss.

Fat dufus easily, physically she's putting up with this horrific body. He's fucking stupid. With Raymond, he's got a good job. He's like a good sports. She's a sports writer. There's never money problems in that family. In fact, there's always... And they have like 80 kids.

He has... Yes, I know. He had an older daughter, twin boys. It's his family is the thing she has to overcome. They're the weight. They're the weight. They're the stupidity. That's why it's a better show than the...

A more complex show. Yeah. The best show. Yeah. It's a good show. Yeah. It is very good. Yeah.

I loved it, obviously, but it was never in my, like... Maybe because I was a fat dufus, I just loved... Give me a fat guy. Getting Pussy from a house. I mean, King of Queens. I have a joke in my act about it, too, where it's like it really was,

I don't want to go into it too much, but it was like, those shows are bad for fat children. They're really. They're giving you way too high expectations. Don't worry about it. Exactly. They're going to horseshoe all the way back.

It's not walking through that door. But that's what I assumed was happening. Yeah. Maybe if I, you know. Anyway, so that's the answer. Give us another question, Eldis. Hey, Stav. Jay from Canada

What's up, big Canada? I got a little bit of a dilemma Been with the wife Almost 10 years now Okay We're thinking about having kids One problem I have I have to tell her to do her

Shores around the house Like a kid Like I'm the only one that's fucking thinking Oh well I'm done with the plate I should probably take the plate out of the living room Bring it to the kitchen Right? I'm done cooking my meal.

I should probably like, I don't know, wash the pot while it's still warm so the stuff is needed to get up. Oh, I'm the only one in the house that does her laundry once a week. Damn, dude, relax. We're not her. Should we have a larger conversation

before we have the kid? Or is this like, because this has been a thing. I don't know what to do, man. Respect. So for your information, very perky H cups. Very perky and what? H cups.

Well, there's your answer right there, pal. You want her fucking doing chores of those heavy-ass tits strapped to her chest, dude? What do you want? You want to have back problems or you want to enjoy those big fucking hangers? You're sure tits are so big. She could take it easy on the chores, actually. That's actually really instructive. That actually really does change my opinion here.

perky ages brother that's fucking you hold on you listen you gotta do a little extra Fabrizing a little effer swiffering with those fat tits in your life

I think that's a fair tradeoff You are glowing right now I see you picturing them and there's a sparkle I'm thinking of my I'm like dude I'm thinking if I had a wife with huge tits like this

I'm like I'm hiring a cleaning lady and fucking my huge titted wife that's the solution but look I see the even in Canada the economy is not so hot

So we'll Maybe not room in the budget For a chore, I got it, I got it Sure. Okay, so let First of all,

shout out to her. I love when we have a sloppy woman. They don't really get I'm so in I'm so endued to her. I mean, yeah, I mean,

on paper, this sound. It sounds a lot like me. I'm also like, I want to watch this sitcom. Yeah, it is a good sitcom because we flipped it.

We have flipped it. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we need to do this more. The queen of kings? Yeah. Kings County. Kings County. She's in Brooklyn. Nobody knows.

Yeah. Look it up, folks. It's actually Kings County. That's true. Which is, it's a great name. Kings County? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of wasted on Brooklyn because Brooklyn is so, Brooklyn gets two good names.

Too awesome names. You never call it Kings County. Probably, you probably have some like really annoying burger restaurant. It's just like Kings County provisions. You know what I mean? That probably exists. That probably exists. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, anyway, back to the matter at hand here. you are as the father this feels like a question you should really feel in terms of the added messiness of children I would say right and what you did going into having yeah kids

like number one you should build a bridge of communication with your wife clearly this guy needs to talk to right like this is so pissed off you can hear it he's grout oh let's fuck maybe fucking while the pan's still warm it's like

we don't need that level of specifics he's seething Yeah. Like, all right, they've been married 10 years. Yeah. So do they get married young or something? I guess. Okay. Because like they're talking about just, they're just starting to think about having kids.

Like, okay. It sounds like he's probably somebody already. Like, if I had to guess, somebody gets married in their mid-20s. They're in their mid-30s. And they're like, hey, it's shitter. Get off the pot time. They're probably making the decision of, are we going to have kids or not? It's kind of how I read the situation.

So I think, like, have kids, you should go for it. Why not? What else are you going to do? Sure. Maybe have a few conversations just to just just conversations. I'm not saying she needs to start doing chores. I just think this guy maybe needs to talk to his wife. I think, yes, in general, the bigger thing out of all this, I think you're right, is yes, talk about the, I think it's fair to talk about like chore stuff.

Sure. But more important, it's talk about when stuff pisses you off. You need to be able to address whatever elephants in the room for you. Because kids, you're worried about your house. being messy, you should be even more worried about, like, the, like, you know, the metaphorical messiness of your relationship. Yes. If you throw kids into the mix and you can't even fucking tell your wife you're annoyed at how she, like the distribution of chores, it's been a decade. Yeah. And you haven't fucking brought it up. That's way harder to bring kids into than like having

to clean up a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the second thing is if mess pisses you off this much, which might be what's going on with this guy. True. True. if you're kids your house is going to be fucking messy. Yeah. So like get ready for that, I guess? I don't know. That's a good point.

Like the dishes won't get done as fast. Like if there's a kid around. Of course. Mac and cheese pot every night. Yeah. You're probably eating out of the pot. A perpetual pot of mac and cheese. Oh yeah.

I should have a cauldron of it. You should have a cauldron. Right. Every night I'm like here. Yeah. Fucking annies for everybody. I think all the time about the sort of follow-up profile on Marie Kondo

like a year or two ago. Where now that she has kids. And she's like, Jesus Christ. I don't know what the fuck I was talking about. Like a fucking hurricane in my house. Truly, there's, it was, I think there was New York Times and there was a big photo of her surrounded with shit all over the floor.

And she's like, that was a cute idea. Yeah, right. Well, yeah, I understood that. Say goodbye to your t-shirt. Everyone said it was helpful. But that is. I put my grandmother's ashes in a landfill because of you, Mary Kondo.

Didn't bring me joy. Now you have eight hello kitty. plushies on your fucking couch. Oh, man. That's very funny, too, because it's like, I read into that too, and it's like, that's clear, that just did not take, that she was not successful in Japan. Yeah.

Because it was, I think it was just like people not understanding Japan and being like, well, we must honorably clean our homes like the samurai. Like that, that was kind of the vibe when she was coming around. Yeah. And like in Japan, they're like, everyone's a hoarder. They don't really give a fuck. Like, truly they're like, this is fucking bullshit. So that's funny to hear, I didn't even know they even know that even,

she herself was like, what the fuck was that? That was bullshit. Yeah. When did that come out? There was like a year or two ago. If you can find this. No, that was longer than that. Oh, the original?

The original. Yeah. The theory was like 10 years ago. Right. Was it? Yeah. I remember when it, I mean, I remember her sweeping the fucking nation. It was, it was a 2019.

19. Yeah. So not even 10 years ago. Yeah. I was still living in bedside because I remember my girlfriend, now wife, like, did the thing. She's like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to open every drawer.

I'm going to say goodbye to the sweaters. Like I'll give him a hug and then throw them away or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think I could use, I do come from a long line of hoarders. Right. Like on my dad's side, my fucking aunt loves bullshit little figurines from here. You know what I mean?

You've been to our studio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad is kind of a hoarder. Like, every, and I have it, I feel it. So what is it coming over? Like, what do you want to hoard? I, I, I mean, probably, once we started on the bus, you as movie guys, you'll appreciate this. We have a type of movie that is a bus movie.

And so it's like it can't be too good. Yeah. And it's not, sometimes they're Blu-Rids, but mostly they're just lo-fi DVDs. You have a big stack of DVDs primarily. Are these the bus movies? Those are bus movies. We have,

I also have a separate thing of like actually good movies. I can see myself just kind of collecting that, but it's dude. It's just, I just have sent, I attach sentimental value to bullshit. Sure. You know what I mean?

And it's just like a hard world. I can't throw this away. Yeah. I fucking had a good. time in this shirt eight years ago. And someday I might lose 100 pounds and fit into it. I have the aspirational clothes.

You're like, no, I'm gonna fit in this jacket again. There's a garage in Queens with four fucking plastic tubs of like track suits from like 5xel to 1X? Where it's like, hmm, I wonder where I'll be next winter. You know what I mean?

It's like where I'm like, yeah, people look like they did when they were 20 again all the time when they grow older. Right, right, right. Right. I'm like, I don't know who. At least you will before you know it be giving that to your children. Yeah. I have no, I have nothing.

I have nowhere to give it to like a university. That's true. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll lend some of my tracksuits like when you're getting bariatric surgery. Yeah, right. And it's like they need like if the hospital gown doesn't fit you, I have some fucking track suits you can wear.

Right. Preparing for, although I guess, you know, I will say if FOSEMPIC and the, and GLP ones in general have done anything, they've kind of stolen the stomach stapling. Oh, yeah. That's gone. You want major surgery? You want to just like do this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe that doesn't even... Those have become like BlackBerry phones. Yeah. I know. I feel bad for the people that got... Like, there's one last guy. They got bariatric surgery.

As was happening. Right. Sorry for those guys. All right. I think we answered... Oh, yeah. Have some communication. Sounds like you're mad.

fuck. Also like... Couples there be nothing wrong with it. Also you might just have... You might be the cleanup guy. Yeah. Like look, that's the thing. Sometimes it breaks down that way.

No matter what relationship I'll ever be in or whoever, like I will... Even when I'm trying my hardest, I am an insanely messy person. Same. And the first thing I did, like, uh, like there was one month where my therapist went, uh, on vacation and I just put that money towards a cleaning lady. And I was like, this is so much more helpful. to me. Than fucking talking.

Right. It's like, and so like to me, that was a thing I did. Uh, even before things, like, when I, when I had roommates, I was like, guys, I know I'm not gonna fucking, I just know I am not. Yeah. So how about every, like, twice a month, I'll pay for a clean lady. And it was just like, because I just know I don't have that in me. That's awareness.

Negotiating the balance of like, if this is my zone, then what are the things you're doing? Yeah. You know? Yeah. You know. I think we know what his wife's bringing. to the fucking table. Absolutely. Absolutely.

No, but yes, obviously. But like, maybe it's not like this is a relationship that can ever be built around a chore wheel. Maybe you are the chore wheel. And there are other things. There's other divisions of labor. And like, yeah, you've got, again, this is why communication is key. Because it's like,

fundamentally, he probably doesn't want her cleaning the bathroom, whatever, because she's not going to do the joby months. Right. That's the, that's the, I've had those relationships or just even friendships where it's like a roommate's situations where they're like where I did clean

to the best of my ability. But you have different status. It's not going to satisfy. It's bad and it's like, all right, well get off my dick. Like I did. I wasn't even half-assing it.

I did try. It's not my fault. You take a fucking toothbrush to the grout and shit. It's like I'm not fucking doing that. And I think that's a question you should ask yourself is the thing that's making you mad

more that you feel like you're forced to do all of this by default or that you are made angry by the mess? Do you think, right? Is it that the responsibility is on you? Or is it the existence of the mess in general? Yeah, do you see every mess is her, like, insulting you?

Or you're just someone who stresses out when you see a mess. Right, right, right. In which case, then you ask bigger kids questions. Or you just say perky age cups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which used to be like his little mantra. Yeah, right. That's, that would work.

That's not a bad mantra. I think I don't think I could get a lot of meditation done if I'm just taking a big fat tits. Or I would just be smiling so much. Maybe that, I'll try that tomorrow. You're glowing again. Hit us with another question, little LD. Hi, I got this new job, but I'm having some issues with work by his boss's boss and his team are in Australia.

And whenever we get on one of these Zoom calls, I actually have a lot of difficulty understanding what they're saying. I'm always asking them to clarify and repeat themselves. and now they think I'm a tool idiot and I don't understand anything and they keep taking responsibilities away for me so I don't know what to do

should I speak up and say that it's really just I don't understand their accent or should I just sit back take less responsibility I actually do have an answer to this yeah go ahead thanks so much

I know what I'm thinking please go ahead Zoom sucks This is a Zoom issue. Fuck Zoom. I mean. Because I think, I think this, the solution is, you need to watch Australian media. That's exactly what I was going to say. Just a diet.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just watch a shit time movies. Yes. Yeah. You need to train your brain, but I also think maybe like find a pipeline to more email communication.

Yeah. I mean, sure. I mean, he also slips in there like, should I just accept less responsibilities? And I'm like, I mean, kind of. Sounds okay. Yeah, you're kind of living the corporate dream. Right. Where they're like, blah, whatever.

And he's like, what? And they're like, don't even fucking worry about it. I mean, my fucking damn. But like get him off the Zumo. He can't hear anything on the Zumo. Have you been down there? Have you like done comedy? We did a, we did a, we did a hometown tour a long time ago.

And I want to go back. I wanted to go back this year, but it just didn't work out. I'm going to figure out a way to like, I need a year of my life where I spend, I have no winter whatsoever. Oh, yeah. Just like stack summers. I might. Cross hemispheres.

I'm not even kidding. I might go maybe, I don't want to say anything. I don't want to get Australia too fucking pumped up. But I'd love to go maybe next winter. Like I'd love to spend like December there. They're summer. They're summer.

Yeah, yeah. Or even I went in, we went in October and it was really nice. So maybe like November. But the fall in New York is so nice that I feel like, I feel like January, February in Australia might be fucking wrong. I mean, we just, January February just fucking sucked here. Like that, that's, I love New York so much. much.

But like, those are the indefensible months. This was losership. This was the one year I wasn't on tour to. Yeah. Jesus. Well, I was, but in this part of the... In the Northeast, right.

It was like, in the past, I've been on the West Coast. Like, last year, we were on the West Coast. It was fucking awesome. Like, we needed light jackets, most of it. It was so nice. It's so nice today. It's going to be cold against. Yeah.

No, dude, believe me, the nice days in New York I've spent fucking shooting or podcasting for nine hours a day. Sucks. Yeah, sucks. But I think you're right. I think like, watch the broadest, most cartoony Australian. Yes, yes. Don't watch the subtle art house stuff.

You need to watch, like, Crocodile Nandini. I think you need to arrange. I think you need to arrange. Yeah, maybe you know, where people are whispering. But I also know, watch the extreme stuff so that they sound really kind of direct and clean to you, you know. And then I also think like, even like Australian TV shit you don't even know about. Yeah, sketch comedy, whatever.

Like, find whatever's, you know. What was that? Y'all, who's serious? Yeah, I don't know. What was that show where it's like a guy dressed up as like a high school student? Oh, Summer High Thai. Isn't that Australian? I think it's New Zealand.

I don't want to paint with a broad brush. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that guy's Australian, and he has several shows. There's a lot of him, right? All of them feature, at most, only two blackface characters. Here's one of those things about stuff travels from another country, and they're like, this is our humor, and you're like, yeah. Interesting. Oh, no.

Mr. In Between, is that Australian? Is that New Zealand too? That was good. I watched that. Wasn't the Elijah Wood Dog Show Australian? Yeah. Listen, find some Australian media and watch it. Wilfred. Wilfred.

Yeah, yeah. We're doing Peter We're on our podcast right now. And those early movies and his are Australian. They're good. Very Australian. What are the early ones? It's like Gallipoli and... Cars that ate paris.

Picnic and hanging wrong. Okay, yeah, yeah. I've just heard these. The last wave. Like, all that shit. And then he, like, goes to Hollywood and is a king, like, but doesn't do Australian shit anymore. Yeah, they love, Australians love pretending they were American the whole time.

They're so, they're so good at us. Like, they just, like, honestly, Hemsworth is the only one who's really kept the accent. It's true. Yeah. They all lose the accent. Liam lost it. Yeah. The Mel thing is crazy.

Especially watching his movies. Nothing else about him is crazy. Yeah. It's so regular. But it is funny because it's like, he really feels like, an American racist now? Yes. He's like, it's fucking crazy.

Which is like he has, because like Australians are also very racist. Yeah. But they're a different type of racist. He's a classic American. He made him such a megastars. He figured out how synthesized both. He did.

He did. The Australian and the American racism. Yeah. Really a shame we had to lose. I mean, dude, honestly. You want Mel back? I'm telling you this fucking, whatever is like Passion of the Christ, too,

he's going to make. It's going to destroy. It's going to destroy. Because like a fucking Kevin Sorbo movie will make $100 million. I know. It's going to be insane. He's identified a healthy market. He probably should have gotten it out like last year.

Like I went like maybe it's curdling. But I think he was a two-parter? I don't know. It is also funny that he's like. Part two. I don't think it's like. I think it is the continuation and he's announced it's now a two-part. It's going.

But it's Christ back, right? Christ's back. Okay. Okay. I mean, honestly, the story. the some of the biblical stuff about like the one, the Messiah the Jews thought they were going to get sounds awesome.

Yeah. Like to me, I'm like, I want to see the movie of the Messiah that comes from hell, right, kills the devil. Right. And then comes up and just fucking decapitates the road. Like, that's classic Mel Gibson shit. That's kind of character using it. It would be awesome if he did that. Yeah. And I just would love to see that movie.

That's an interesting movie to me. Yeah. But I'm telling you, Mel is going to go, this one is going to do numbers. There's no way it's not. Yeah. Because all that slop, he's, whatever you want to say about him, he's a, I mean, his Republican revenge crime movies. Yeah. Are awesome. They're so good.

He's a good. Him and fucking, even fucking Vince Vaughn being Republican cops. Oh, dude. What's a? Dragged across concrete. Yeah. Awesome. That movie is really good.

Awesome. It's really weird. Like, they're all weird because they're all weird because they also go through pains to be like, we're actually not racist. We're like, my best friend is a black guy who I live. listen to jazz. Like, they all listen to jazz or blues or some shit. Right. And then they, like, they like beat up, uh, every ethnicity in prison.

Right. You know what I mean? Right. I actually just hate humanity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But anyway, those are bangers. Those are, like, like, I, and I like, there's nothing wrong with enjoying fascist

filmmaking. We, I mean, what? Cobra. That's fashion. We've covered so many movies he's in as an actor and you are just like, that guy is so captivated. And part of it is the, like, caged animal mania in him in the darkness and everything.

The deal with Cobra is that's when Sly's going to be in Beverly Hills Cop. And when he's like working on the script, he's like, so I'll be in it. So I think Beverly Hills Cop should like blow criminals faces off. And they're like, oh, we're going for more of a comedy thing. He's like, oh, that's cool. I'm going to turn this into Cobra. He quits Beverly Hills Cop less than two months before it starts filming. Everyone else had been cast, crew staffed up.

Everyone else. I didn't know that. Truly. And then he's like, fine. We're on different pages. is I'll go take my notes and make something else. And Cobra was like, here's all the shit I wanted, Beverly Hills Cup. And we got two equally iconic movies.

To me, anyway. But Eddie Murphy only ends up in that because they've built a movie that has to go. And they're like, I don't know, we're watching Daly from 48 hours. And how much better, I mean, that's the perfect. I mean, and that's what it takes to get that famous. Things have to really break a certain way. Yeah. Right place, right time.

Now, let me ask you this. You guys might know about the, is the Cobra director's cut anywhere? Is the Cobra Stallone cut? You don't know this? No, I do know that. He turned in a three-hour cut of Cobra. And if you watch the movie, it kind of makes sense because... The movie's in coherent.

There's all this cult shit. They don't ever go back to it. Yeah. But it is cool. Anyway, I love Cobra. That movie is his drafts folder, though. It's every loose idea he had that got rejected from a different movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I would love to see the fucking... Yeah. I don't think it exists, but... He did the Rocky... I will. He did the Rocky... The Rocky Recut recently. But the Rocky recut's weird.

where he takes the robot out of Rocky 4? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like those goofy shit. And I'm like, who cares? Isn't that kind of fun that Pauli Foxx a robot? Yeah, that is fun. That's fun. It also puts it in the play in the like time of it. Yeah. But it's a lot. The Salon movies have a little more of that edge to him, whereas the Arnie movies don't as much. Like, and I love the Arne movies, but like they don't really have a political edge.

It's more just like, look at this guy. No, they don't. In fact, aren't, I mean, by working with Verhoven, it's almost like, it's almost like anti-fascist. I mean, the thing about, I mean, he literally, his dad was a fucking Nazi. So it's like, I think, whereas Stallone is like a fucking Italian who wants to be fascist. Exactly.

Where's Arnie's like, that is bad. Like I escaped that. I'm not interested in that. I want to be a sort of centrist Republican governor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I want to go about how cool fucking mansion is. Come to my sub-artan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. discuss bills. Yeah. Arney has the thing where he was like, I want to hand myself over to good directors, but have something to say. The man has entrust them.

It's so, yeah. It is the thing where you're like, what if a guy who looks like this was smart as fuck and true as fuck? And usually it does a guy that looks like that. But he, if anything, his biggest talent is understanding like how he's perceived.

Yeah. How to use himself. How to use against type and all that show. And he's, and like he's, I mean, he's on a run where his taste is unbelievable. Yeah. And I think having good taste is what really makes him and also it makes it clear

why he could fucking achieve anything because he knew who to surround himself with no matter what but... And then Stallone is like I know better than everyone which I respect. It's like sometimes you got it man and sometimes. These are all personal expression.

But I respect that as an... I mean and it also is nice to see, yes, you can be a juice head Italian and truly be an artist. Which he is. Everyone can be an artist. Every type of person can be a truer. What I love the otter.

About Sigal and Van Dam is you just like as they get a artist. more famous, you just watch the guardrails go away and it gets worse. And it's just like uniform. There's no, like, oh no, there's a good one later. They're like, no, no, no. Less people say no, more people say yes. The movies get

dumber. Seagall, for sure, is there one good late Van Damme at any point? I think the later Van Damns are kind of weird and he's got kind of a weird. The Seagulls is a straight line down. Have you seen that movie? Have you seen that movie? Yeah, have you seen Universal Soldier

weird sequels? Oh, but that's the same year. It's the third to video with Scott Atkins and stuff. But that's the thing. They move him off of being the lead. Because he's older. And the movie rules and he's incredible. I haven't seen that one.

They're fucking great. I love Scott Aikins. It's him and Dolf back. It's a fucking awesome movie. Is that so? That sounds fucking aw. Now that's a bus movie if I've ever fucking heard one.

Yeah, that's a great post of it. Great stuff. Okay. I forget that we're going through tangy. Oh yeah. Watch Australian TV. Yeah. Let's do a couple more here.

We got a man with three children. He's got to get back. That's true. You're going to make a man mac and cheese. Hey, Elvis, esteemed guests. So my question today is about eating ass. Being what?

In my early 20s, I was hating an older woman. Getting ass? One time. Eating ass. Oh, eating ass. Okay, that's why he had the childish giggle. My early 20s, I was hating an older woman who ate my ass one time.

And I was like, wow, this is great. Never? Never have I wanted something so much and not known until I received it. And over the years, I dated around a little bit. And I noticed whenever I would date outside my race, they would always reciprocate the rim job. So if I, a black girl, Latinas, Asian girl, they would reciprocate. And now I've been in this relationship.

He laughed in an Asian way. I don't know if that makes me a racist. But all my Asian friends have that specific laugh for. they kind of interrupt themselves. Do you know what I mean? When they talk about the older women. And especially when they get a little embarrassed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For real, I'm not even joking. There's so much going on in this call. Yeah. Okay, so this guy, okay, so he's, when he dated outside of his race. Yeah, but white women won't he dad. He dated an older woman, she ate his ass. He didn't know he wanted it until it happened and it was so happy. Part two is later when he dated outside of his race, it would happen again.

Or he said that only, both of them were. Only non-white sexual partners would reciprocate. Did they reciprocate? But no one would have... He's initiating if they're returning it. Sure, sure, sure. I will say you're not... I wouldn't even put it across racial lines.

I don't think most women think a rim job is a reciprocal thing. I think they see getting their ass eating this sort of eating pussy adjacent. Yeah. And that it's a specialty item on the men's oral sex side. But it's a... It's an add-on, but it's a... standard add-on for a woman. Whereas for a man, it's like a whole other

menu item. What's like the squid that has like 10% chance of killing you? Sure, but yeah, the right, yeah, the uni or what. But like, it's a menu item like when you get to the restaurant and they're like, by the way,

we do a souffle, you have to order it now. Right, right, right. It's like, you need to announce this. Like, you need to do a little bit. We get out early. Right, exactly. We have to put it in a 30 days. You can't spring the souffle order on us when you're wrapping up. You need to make a truble.

You need to build the runway here. Even before you pick stil or tap water. You're all like sparkling or bottle. Let us know if you want this. Whereas for women getting their assy and feels like, hey, you could add fries for, you know, two bucks. And let us know. Do that anytime.

It's an easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it makes so far so, this all, this all checks out. It's not over. Yeah, yeah, okay. We just had to take a break. We said take a break. I've been in this relationship with this girl for about four months,

and we're both white. And, um. I don't love it. I don't love it. I'm, at race reliant. Again, in fact, eldest, we don't want to dox anyone, but a white woman did eat your ass.

Isn't that famously so? Actually, two. One less famous than the other idea. This was in the same kind of era, you know? Yes, of course. I think part of that was like, it was 2015 when there was like a lot of ass-eating mania. It was in the zeitgeist.

Girls on HBO. I'm trying to think like when we'd like to cross over to mainstream media. You're right. Yeah. Pre-Trump optimism in the air. You can do anything. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like people were like feeling extra good about eating ass back then. As eating was definitely in the culture. And when it happened to me these two times, I mean, I was surprised because I didn't even ask for it or like expect it. But I was like, hey, this is kind of cool. And, you know, I haven't really dipped my toast in the water since that era. Yeah. I mean, you want to talk about those women are braver than the first responders.

I know. Eating your ass unannounced, dude. You should have been being fucking Trinobble Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, dude. It made me feel so much more secure about my ass and hygiene because I was like, I was like, I would never eat my fucking ass.

Yeah. I'd be like, put the bullet through my skull. I'm not doing that. But they did it. I was like, you know what?

I do take care of myself. I bathe thoroughly, especially in the ass area. And yeah, what's wrong with eating? my eyes. You know? It upped your confidence a little bit. Yeah. I also just want to call out after all

your sort of like ethnicity guessing. He says, we're both white and gave it the full Nick Y, Colonel Elvis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're quiet. All right, keep going, Elvis. I've already eaten her ass, but she won't reciprocate. And

I mean, it's, you know, it's fair again. It's whatever she wants to do. But at the same time, I kind of miss it. and I don't know I'm just looking I'm trying to figure a way to politely ask for it and be patient

and respectful about it Yeah you're like hey Yeah yeah yeah yeah Are you full white Really not like a Mexican Grandparent Nothing I would say you want to trick

Oh nice somebody's car alarm is going off You could be like Oh babe you're Oh do you need a you want a piece of gum I actually have one between my ass cheeks. You can maybe put mince in your asshole. Okay, well, first of all, I think... hilarious.

Whatever, who gives a fuck? Fuck this podcast. Fuck this guy, too. I think, I do think that this is... You're... Him being so insistent about race is hilarious to me. Yeah, I don't like it. It's nothing to do with that.

It's nothing to do with it. As if we're going to be like, ah, of course. This is anecdotal evidence. It's completely anecdotal. And I would say, like, I would say that... I also don't like that he listed the races. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a black girl, a Korean girl,

and a, like, you know, I don't know, whatever... You know, like a, you know, Ecuadorian woman, eight your ass. That's three out of a billion or whatever the fuck. I think it has a lot more. I think some women... See, women really get a pass on being homophobic. it never comes up a lot. Like, you can hide behind just being a woman and you don't really have to, like, it's always

surprising, I guess I'll put it this way. It's surprising when a woman's homophobic to us, to me anyway, because I guess it's like, that's maybe weirdly misogyny where I'm like, oh, women are good. Right, yeah. But I will say a lot of women, like when push comes to shove, do think, they might think it's gay to play with their man's ass, whereas it's the opposite. The more I've thought about this philosophically, you want your ass played with, so bad, but you're so straight.

You won't go to the expert. You know what I mean? Because if you want just the feeling of your ass played with the best, go to a gay guy. But that's, you're straight, so you want a woman to do it. This is raising the key question for me, though. I know this caller's question was how do I ask or bring it up?

I respond to your question with a question for you. Is this the single most important thing in a relationship for you? Because the vibe in this call is that like you have identified a thing that you are incapable of being happy without. He does seem he needs to get his ass.

I don't know if you're just putting too much emphasis on this and how you're framing it to us. Yes. But if it's like a deal breaker, then that's a thing you've got to work through and front load in who you're dating. Maybe. Sure, yeah.

Find the kind of freak. Find the ass eating freaks. Four months. Or slash ass. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But like four months. Oldest is my home page.

I feel like you can just build up to this. Totally. Totally. Totally. But four months isn't a long time. Four months is actually, I would say, it's just a little late. I think three months is right where you start showing your true colors. You know what I mean?

You're still like, ooh, it flipped over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I think you can start amping up the, you're kind of in the window where it's still new enough that you, it doesn't have to be like, let's spice up. Yeah, you can just be like debuting new. It's new things. It's like, let's add stuff to the thing. I think the ask. is have you ever before?

I think it's a conversation about... That's actually a good call. Right? Your months in, it's like, so what is your sexual history outside of us together? Together. And what race is?

What are things you like? And even maybe offer them up. And give us a whole taxonomic race breakdown. Flip the menu. But I think offer up the like, are there things in the past you of like that we haven't done before? Right.

Because you're talking about reciprocating. Right? This is about giving me. He says he's already eating her ass, I believe. He has that. that. So if he's already like, yeah, dude, look,

you're just at the point now where you just talk about the stuff he wants to try. And if you're in a relationship, it's like this is, this is kind of the window where you get to start. You've base, you've,

in three to four months, you've sort of established your baseline sexual compatibility. And now you get to, and in the first couple of years after that is where you start showing what the regular menu is. And then after, you know,

five, ten years is when you're like, let's just fucking get, Let's get wild with it. Let's get, let's get Charlie Sheen model. You flip the menu. Exactly. Exactly.

But I mean, just don't we say this true. Like, Charlie Sheen said it on a podcast. We're obsessed with it. You ever fucked a guy and he was like, have I ever flipped the menu? Yeah. I took the menu.

It is the perfect metaphor for like a mostly straight guy who's like, but I've tried shit. Yeah. He's the funniest thing is he says this in this like interview leading up to the doc and the book coming out. Right. He's going to talk about his wider. He's going to talk about his sexual history. We're like,

He's trying to come with like a quick, kind of clean, hooky way to talk about it. Then I pull up the dock 15 menu minutes of metaphor. He stays on the menu metaphor. He's like, it's almost like, you know, when you're young, you're looking at appetizers. And you're on to entre's a certain point you want dessert. Dessert's not on the front of the menu. You go to the taco truck outside. You go to the, you go to the bathroom of the taco place.

There's a hole in it. You put your dick through the hole of the bathroom. The truck doesn't have a menu. It has items painted. on the wall, but some things are off menu. I just think this guy shouldn't jam on the gas, you know what I mean? Like if he is going to ask.

Just ask in a chill way. Do not do the sort of like, by the way, it's life or death for me. Totally. Totally. Just don't be like, hey, what's the deal? Yeah, right. Is it because you're white? Yeah. Yeah. How about you eat my ass, honky? Don't say that.

Yeah. Mayo ass, bitch, won't even eat my ass. I think we want to de-racialize. this entire. I would say let's take the race out of it is. I hate it. I want to say that doesn't. And look, you're not even talking to a guy who

pretends sometimes there aren't stereotypes that are true. Okay? If this, if you had any leg to stand on it, I would My radar is not being. But this is not, you know, I'm not going to stop you from having a racist theory. But this particular one

is, you know, this one is not, This does not, you know, this doesn't. In fact, I would kind of think, if anything, I, you know, there's plenty of, like, white girl freaks out there that might want to go over the top with being freaky to sort of, like, make them more interesting. I feel like you get that in a major city where it's like there is white guilt when, like, a cool, like, Brooklyn is so much

that you have to pretend you're, like, buy when you're not. Like, how many girls from Connecticut pretend they're by in their 20s because they're like, I can't be someone from Republican. with Republican parents that lives in Brooklyn that does that that's nothing about them, you know what I mean? That's my whole deal.

Yeah, yeah. I think you have to, I think, so anyway, I think your race science is wrong, but I do think you need to communicate with your girl and that you're not in any, this is normal, this is also not. It's not a crazy ask. No.

It's really not crazy. Now, worst case scenario, she's just like, Ew. Right, yeah. Fucking beep! How dare you ask me to do that? And that's a problem, but better than you find that out. Then figure it out.

See how much of a deal breaker. Exactly. Yeah. Were they eating ass in England? I think so. You moved back before you found out. I moved back when I was 22. Yeah.

I was still like paddling in the pool. You're so bad at sex in college. Totally. Like it's just like, totally. No one's good. No. We don't think we're like pretty good.

You're not getting to ass eating. Not in any finessed way. Or what happens is in college you either have the worst sex of all time. Or because no one really knows what they're doing. I have friends who just went so far crazy immediately that they fuck in a freaky way that they'll never get back to. And then they're chasing it. And they're like, oh, fuck, that was actually insane.

Right. It's when you, like, accidentally kill an open mic. Yes, yes, yes. Do I just have all the answers? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And then you just never have a set-back again. Absolutely. That happens before you get back around.

You don't know how good you have it. Right. Somebody just, like, I, like, there are girls who do porn that, like, the year before they decide to are just a girl at a dorm that finds a boyfriend and fucks him a hundred times. Right. And there's a guy who's like, oh, I guess this is what it's going to be like forever. Like, I had a friend from college who had a girlfriend who, his first girlfriend ever, demanded that he, like, chomp on her nipples. Like, you know what I mean? Like, fucking the Mario fucking, the chain chom.

Why did I go right to chimpon? Yeah. Like chain chomping her. And, dude, what do you think happened the second time? The time he said to the second woman. She's like, ah, what the fuck is your problem? Why'd you bite my tits? And he's like, sorry. The girl I had, the only girl I ever had sex with made it seem like this was pretty standard procedure.

That's what you would describe as a faulty tower's ending. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that is a very British. Oh. Confident. Miscommunication. Yes.

Yes. So, yeah. Talk about it. Good for you, man. We're happy you got your ass. ass eating. We're happy you got your asking by that old lady. Is that what you wanted? Honestly, the first, that sounds like an awesome setup

when he was in his early 20s. He's dating an older woman. We need to break, like, the age gap, the, the problem of the age gap is the score. December May romance. It's, look, we're not getting them out of society. Let's elevate the one that goes older woman, younger guy.

Younger woman, older guy. It ain't going nowhere. It's washed. That's not, you're right. That ain't, that's what our, listen, I hate to break it to you. That's like, That's a load-bearing thing in our society. We're not curing that and living within a good world, right? It's just not happening. But I think if we, like, like, like, let's raise up milf stock.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, why? And I think it's kind of happening. There's like, you know, there's some movies about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just Jennifer Coolidge, her Emmy. Totally.

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, we had, you know, the cool kid. Coolidge's like Hall of Fame Milford. She's like, she's the same. Yeah, yeah. Like she's like, she's the, yeah, exactly. Face you see in the museum.

Of course. Of course. It's also one of those crazy things. The Milf Museum. I got a pat. I'm a member, dude. I'm a member of the mill. I get off, like, I get half off.

It's one of those crazy things to look it up and be like, was she 31? I know. She's not even that old. Yeah. But, you know, totally. But we do need to cure America of its like pedophilic, uh, desires when it comes to women and be like,

yes, we need. hot like old ladies are hot as shit like all into old you know middle age and it's like yeah 22 year old dudes you would you would have a this guy probably the summer of his life

yeah getting his ass eaten by a divorcee who's seen it all right and I think we need that's that's how we solve that's what we need to do with the age gorse discap is like yeah whatever or age gap discourse what the fuck did I say you said age gorp disc gas the Aaron Taylor Johnson set up

Yeah, we need to fucking, you know what I mean? We need to lionize that. That's beautiful. So anyway, that's a solution. You're killing like three birds of the one stone at this point. Societally, we need more milfs to fuck guys in their 20s. You know what I mean? Let's spread the age gap to the gals as well.

Let's break the glass ceiling. Let's get you dick down by some recent college grads. That's right. You got something fun for us to go out on Elvis? He's not incompetently. Hey, Sally. eldest and guest I was wanting your opinion

on what is the acceptable time frame to move in with someone that you're in relationship with I got me to see my husband you wouldn't want to move in I knew he was done with calls just a classic standard fucking question they could go on at any time

any episode general philosophical census type question you know that's not what this call is these calls are designed we're about This is, we're wrapping up. Right. Oh, stop. I got pussy. I was a fucking insol and I got pussy yesterday.

And we all cheer and we fucking move forward. The credits roll. This is maybe the most generic question you could possibly fucking. When should you move in with your boyfriend? Is that really what you came up with with fun question on the way out? I had it in the holster. Oh, you've been planning to do that. The last one was more fun, you fucking idiot.

The last one is funer than this one. Anyway, go ahead. We already started. I don't want to take it away from this woman. But then I feel like also on the other end of the spectrum, like you could be waiting too long, too. Like, is it crazy to wait, like, five years, ten years? I don't know. What is the general consensus on an acceptable timeframe of being with someone before you move in together?

Thanks. Okay. Really fun to discuss. But, yeah, let's give her some advice. Big questions, where do you live? Yeah. If you live in New York City, circumstantial qualifiers are crazy. You're going to get pushed into that.

I'm glad you brought us up because I actually feel the exact opposite. Okay, go ahead. Hit me. Where I think you should probably like they're just going to push you if you live somewhere expensive to move in together. And I think that has actually torpedoed

a lot of New York relationship. It's the classic speed bump. Right, exactly. You're like, I guess we'll move in together. It'll be so cheap. We'll live in a place again. Then you're like, wait, we're 24. What the fuck are we going to get married? Like, you know, like, yeah. How many New York apartments are

not cohabitable for a couple. Totally. Totally. It's like, oh, now we're saving money. You're living with my roommate. Yes. This plus sucks. I did that. I did that. Really? Yeah, yeah. I remember maybe the darkest moments of Eldis's now wife's life was when she had to move into his room. Yeah. Because he had to go to Baltimore family emergency. Uh-huh. And dude, she wanted to fucking kill herself.

Yeah. It was like, it was, she was living in her apartment with Eldis's dumbass best friends. Yeah, she didn't love living in the three bedroom with four other people. Man, New York is so silly. And then for a moment, you, you, we all live together. Like, there was like a four, how long was that? Like four months? Where we all were under the same roof? Four months. Five, six months maybe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it was like five people. Yeah. Remember that one time where it was like, you, you and your wife, I had somebody over. Our other roommate had somebody over. The mysterious, the elusive Big P was crashing. And you had a cat and there was like nine souls. in a three bedroom fucking apartment.

We were like, this is fucked up. Like that, that felt like we were living in a tenement. Yeah. I'll say that from a kind of flip perspective, I lived with a couple for like five years. Oh, wow. You did. That's right.

You were the third wheel. Yeah, my best friend and I moved in together and right when a relationship started. Right. And it was like, they're staying over a lot. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Down to second apartment, three of us on the lease together. Wow. Okay. And it was great. And I don't want to be like, you know, they owe me that their relationship got stress test and now they're happily married with a kid.

Right, right, right. They basically had like a fucking gremlin in that house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, let's have a kid so that we live with someone less annoying. Yes. They were like, if we've been through this, we can be parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is horrible.

Let's have a kid so we can hang out with someone who plays with less action figures. Truly. Truly. No joke. But so, like, to me, I'm like, well, I do think it's true. strengthen their relationship in a certain way. It clarified it. But I also don't think that is a necessary stress test.

No. And I don't think failing that test means the relationship was doomed without it. I think there are living situations... I know what you mean technically. That can be so trying that they fuck things up, especially if you're in expensive cities. That's my point is that, like, yes, you're technically right. That trying it and it doesn't work,

doesn't technically doom a relationship. No. But effectively, I think it does. If you move in together and then you unmoved, it's over. Even if you try and keep it alive, it's like, it would, you'd have to break up and fully, like, become different people and meet up again years later. That might work, but you are admitting that you roll the dice and it's too early. There's like lifestyle stuff of like, does one person live closer to their workplace than the other?

How's this thrown off commutes and all these things that can change. So generally speaking, does she give any specifics about her? situation? No, she was really just like, should I wait five to ten years? And I was like... Five to ten is fucking insane. That's a long time. Even somebody like me who always is scared of like the steps of a relationship, I think like

the early, like, I think the earliest was probably after a year. Yeah. Of like, really. And that's if shit's going good and you're compatible. And maybe your clock is ticking. And the clock is ticking. And things have lined up where you're like, we both like this place. This makes sense financially. You know, geographic, all

whatever. Yeah. To me, it's like the relationship matters so much more than moving in together. 100% more. And that I would, if anything, I would just like build your relationship until it feels almost like like you're overdue for it. Like I think you need to have a point where it's like you both have a place and it gets to the point where your lives have melded so much

that one of you is spending the, you know, spending the night so often and that it just feels like, oh, we need to do. Like, I think in big, in big life decisions, this goes career stuff for everything. I think it's almost always better to really, to feel like you're overdue for something big. And you don't want to let it get to the point of frustration or resentment. Right. Or kind of like, insiness.

Yeah. But I think you want to wait for the moment where you're like, yeah. Yeah. I should have done that like a month ago. In general. Yes. In general, I think it's always a problem when things other than your relationship dictate taking another stat. So if you're tempted by slicing your New York brain and a half.

Right. I should move in with my girl and her friend. No, you shouldn't. Yeah. You should get a shitty sub lease for six months while you figure your shit out. Yeah. Especially because you don't want to move when you're fucked up by something else too. Right, right, right.

Because then you are a problem, like you're a whole syndrome moving into someone's house. Like you're bringing all this shit to them. That's you mean to pretty shit kind of. Yeah. I mean, a movie we all remember. Of course. Just. I think I did see that in theater.

We saw it. We all were like, these guys, the guys who made this one make the highest grossing film ever made, definitely. The movie was made by the Russo Brothers. Get the fuck out of you. That's fucking crazy. It's the last thing they made before Captain America or whatever. It's that seven years of TV. Seven years of, you know, good TV, like, rest of the element or community or whatever.

Community. Oh, they did community? They did a lot of good. They did the pilot. Yeah. Yeah. And Rested development, they did the pilot as well. The gray man.

well, don't fucking Gray Man. I'm still waiting. That's crazy. Green Man, too, where is it? They were like Sundance guys. They made an indie comedy. Really?

Then they do you me and DePri. They're like, we're on the path to be studio comedy filmmakers. And then it's like that movie doesn't totally work. They become like the best TV pilot directors kind of like directing producers. And then they circle back to the Marvel system,

make four billion dollar movies. And then of course, finally, graduate to the films that have changed the culture forever. Cherry? Great, Grey Man. Cherry. The one with Chris Brad. Electric States is still working with Marvel guys. Now they're back.

And now they're back to Marvel. And now they're back to Marvel. Go back to the well. Dude, you have that much fucking money. Why even work? But that's another, that's just me, I guess. It's philosophy. How long did you wait to move in? It was a while, wasn't it? Well, we kind of, she kind of did move in on necessity.

kind of like skip town for a little. Yeah. But you were dealing with so... You're the exception of the rule because it was like, you were dealing with such extreme, like, emergency. Yeah. That if a relationship gets through this,

you're good kind of shit. And again, we don't... If you can avoid that, avoid it. Obviously, you couldn't. Yeah. But we were... I think we were together for two years before that happened. Yeah, that feels...

We moved in pretty soon after... And you guys were hanging out of all that... I mean, you were either there. We were roommates at the time. So it was like... It made sense. Yeah. Two years feels reasonable, whatever.

Yeah, you know, you know what the fucking... I love to know why she's asking and who's... Yeah, there's context we're not getting. Pressing who. Yeah. Because she... Her throwing five, ten is actually ten. Imagine someone's like, hey, you want to move in together.

I wonder why she's asking. Let's give it ten years. Yeah. Let's just... Yeah, she's been in a ten-year relationship. She's like, can you just fucking move in with me? And the guy's like, I don't know. Maybe.

Definitely a very fun question, though. I had a lot of fun. I would say it's fun. Fun is the word I would have maybe the least funny segment, this whole fucking episode because of this. Everything else had a bunch of jokes, but this just sober, actual advice. Talking about relationships, human interaction, sure.

Well, that is going to do it for us. But if you like movies, guys, check out Blank Check with Griffin and David. And we didn't even, you know, the show is interesting because it goes through an. entire filmography of a director, which is like a cool, you know, if you're too stupid to even approach

studying film, it's kind of how a dumbass goes to film school. Yeah, you know, it's like, because you do, you know, I had never really, I'd never thought of looking at movies in that sense, but it's been cool to examine things that way because, yeah, you realize, like, even the masters, got to start something.

Sure, yeah. Maybe, yeah, even really great directors made weird pieces of shit. Yeah. Or, yeah, stuff that didn't work. That's fun to think about. And it's really... And it makes it, if you're somebody who is...

Who wants to do film in particular, but literally anything that feels unattainable... Yeah. Like, I think maybe the best one of these is like the Kubrick one. Savi, that's exactly what I was about to bring out. And, like, I love the... Fuck, what's the killing? Yeah, killing.

That's maybe his first good movie. But his actual first movie sucks. His first movie suck dick. And they're like... And that's like... And then maybe that's also why he became such a perfection. A control freak. Right.

But people speak of him like he was this like perfect creature put on earth to make perfect movies. And it's more informative to watch that guy stumble and not know what he's doing and learn it on his feet before he gets to that level of control. I just watched the Mel Brooks documentary, which I'm a huge, so really good. It's really good on HBO. Yeah. It's on Max right now. Really good. And that's another one where it's like, you know, I just grew up in a world.

where Mel Brooks was one of the comedic voices that I knew always existed. But the fact that even after Blazing Saddles, people weren't sure if his career was going to work, it's crazy. When you see these legends and you're like, no, dude, they almost fuck up so many places. And that it makes you realize, like, oh, it's not, you don't have to be perfect.

And I think going through, it's fun, first of all, it's fun, funny podcast. You guys have great guests. You know a lot about movies. But also it's like, it's a cool way to look at them because it's like, oh, you get a holistic picture. of this stuff. Mel Brooks, like, one of the most important guys to me. We'll do him. I love his work, but also, like, since childhood, I've been like, that's a guy who just seems completely unencumbered

by anything other than the desire to be funny, and he does it well. And it always just been kind of like, all business, my job is being funny. Totally. And I feel like that doc is the first time he's really been like, I was in deep analysis for 10 years. I was like white knuckling it through mental breakdowns and shit. Yeah. It took me so long before I felt like I was comfortable and I landed where I needed to be. Yeah. And that stuff only makes the work even better. Totally, totally. It's all. It's fucking awesome.

Yeah. See, yeah, fuck their podcast. Just watch that documentary. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, watch the Mel Brooks. Yeah, more money in HBO's pocket. HBO, great company. Great company. Great company. On its way to being a better company. Ignore everything I said when I thought Netflix bought

HBO. I'm happy that the Allison family has bought it and I hope to work with you someday, sir. Fly boys too. Yeah. Fly boys too. Put me in the cock. Jam me in the cockpit. That's going to do for us. David Griffin, thanks for coming, guys. Check out the podcast and we'll talk to you guys. And as we, you know, the Oscars recap, as we said, Begonia swept everything. Five slaps this year. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the fucking heated rivalry guys were slapping everybody. They're like, do something about it.

We're the most famous guys in the world. Fuck you, Laura Dern. That sexy wasion. Slapping everybody, dude. Crazy, crazy ceremony. Thank you guys. We'll see you next week. Bye, bye.