Stavvy's World - #175 - Dina Hashem

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

Dina Hashem joins the pod to discuss her newfound passion for drumming, busking with her boyfriend, being the only girl at the arcade, barely speaking to her stepdad throughout her childhood, being a Muslim weeb, and much more. Dina and Stav help callers including a man whose fiancée told her sister that she's still obsessed with her ex, and a woman whose good friend is always putting her on blast.   Follow Dina Hashem: https://punchup.live/dina-hashem https://dinahashem.com/ https://www.twitter.com/dinahashem_ https://www.instagram.com/dinahashem_   Thank you to our sponsors!! Ziprecruiter - try it free at https://www.ziprecruiter.com/stavvy Visible - https://www.visible.com/catfished switch now! Chubbies - Get 20% off with code STAVVY at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/stavvy   ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh,pa. Welcome everybody to Stopg's World. 9-04-800 stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have come. Are you, is this the first time you've done this podcast? No, I did it like years ago. You did?

Oh, sorry. I did it. I did it. I think you did the, like, Twitch version. It was on Zoom. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I think that's the last time I also talked to.

Yeah, podcast. No, no. We've texted to try and get you on the podcast. Oh, that's right. That's right. All my relations with my friends from 10 years ago are like, hey, can you do my podcast? No, I can't. Can you do my podcast?

No, I can't. What about? And then like, don't talk to them at all. Five months later. Hey, can you do my podcast? So many people. It is so funny doing open mic comedy with the same people because you, we honestly saw each other. There was like 40 people, 40 to 80 people that you would see one to nine times a week for five years.

And like, you know, I still talk to maybe like, I don't know, 12 of them. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, we're not going to do it now because it would be, there's no worse podcasting than us remembering open mics from 10 years ago. We're like, hey, remember that guy? Oh, we could spend us a whole hour doing that. And I would have a blast.

That's honestly Patreon exclusive. Like, we got to get like a round table of like six of us to be like, dude, what about that guy? Oh, he's got cancer now. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it gets sad. By the way, it gets sad. That game gets sad because, like, the ones,

the us that's had, like, the ones that achieved their dreams, our lives are bad. Oh, totally, right. Compared to, like, okay, my life is good, obviously, compared to most, if you, compared to, like, a fat idiot from Baltimore, like, if you take my stats, my life is good, but when you compare to, like, the other people making this amount of money, I have the worst life.

Like, the thing about comedians, We will be the saddest, worst, whatever we achieve in the room, we're the biggest loser of whatever room we're in. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Like, except maybe, I don't know, there's probably some like, honestly, maybe going full circle, maybe those open mic, like, maybe some of them have achieved a certain Zen happiness.

Oh, I know people who left comedy and they're the happiest they've ever been. And I'm like, I need to do that. I need to just start a family. I think Jordan Peters is right. I think I just need to start a family. I'm so sick of pursuing ambitions. It just gives me anxiety. It just upsets me.

Like, I don't know if you ever feel that, but like... Oh, of course. Yeah. No, because like, for me, it's the opposite where it's like... I'm like, wait, every time I succeed, I'm more depressed than ever. It's never enough. It's never, like, everything's repeating itself because it's like I feel like I learned this lesson and then you get another round of opportunities that you don't say no to and they're like

wait I thought I knew not to do this but because it feels like if you say no it's never going to come again exactly but who cares that's you know that's where I'm at yeah I just want to be like you know what I mean I've totally changed I'm like I'm a drummer now I really came here to say I want to transfer my career and if you have a bit transfer credits I am and if I could I I'm so honest with you if I could transfer all my comments comedy credits into a drumming career. If anybody has like a successful, moderately lucrative band and you need a drummer.

I'm here to be like, I can play toxicity now. Oh, hell yeah. Toxicity, nice. It's not, yeah, thank you. What about the drummer for like, what if you went, like, because I've been playing a lot of casinos this year. Yeah. And I think maybe the most successful,

the only successful bands are cover bands. Yeah. What if you were like in a, like, like whoever's doing Prince cover band? There's a guy that we've seen his poster on like five different casinos. Oh, my God. So I don't know. Maybe you could or maybe.

It's not depressing. But listen, you're trying to get a, you're trying to become a blue collar. No, I'll start there. No. You're trying to become a blue collar drummer. You're good for fucking casinos? No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I take it back.

I'm so sorry. It would actually be my dream to be in a Prince casino cover band right now. It doesn't have to be Prince? Okay. Well. And in fact, maybe if you did some kind of gimmick, like, there was that all girl, all like, girl, lesbian, Led Zeppelin band called Les Zeppelin.

Oh my God, that's good. It's so if you do, like gimmick wise, I don't know, is there like a girl Muslim angle? I think there could be. Well, so right now, I mean, me and my boyfriend, I mean, the most fun thing in my life right now is playing under the arches in Grand Army Plaza for nobody.

Oh, wow. Oh, Matt, you've lost it. We haven't talked in a while. You're fucking busking with your fucking boyfriend. Do you guys have a fucked up dog that lives outside? No. Are you fucking

Are you living in train cars, Dina? We said your name is Dina Hashem, by the way. I didn't say, I was like, hey, have you ever said, have you ever, and I just didn't introduce you? That's how pro this show is. So wait, wait, wait. What you do for fun... Listen.

I started dating. A snare drum? He has a full drum kit. I mean, what I tell you about his life, he's a true... I mean, he's a, okay, so he's a jazz music. You know when you go to the park and you see the jazz trios. This is interesting.

I like this because last time we, when, you know, and everyone, check out Stavi solves your problems. The forerunner to this show. But I think you, is this a new boyfriend, right? This is a new boyfriend. You also had a weird, I feel like you've had a series of strange relationships where like, you had like a longest relationship with somebody from like a weird place. Norway. Yes, yes, yes.

You know that classic New York to Norway fucking direct flow. You can just catch. I've buried the memory of that entire relationship. And I'm so triggered that you brought that up. I'm sorry to bring it up. But it's just very funny to, like, every time I check in, it's like you're like in a long-distance relationship with someone across the country world.

And now you've met a jazz drummer who, and where does you guys meet? Yeah. Oh, the apps, you know. Yeah, sure, classic. But he's domestic. He lives in the same city. That's big.

That's big. and I love that about him And now how much do you know That you like him Or is it just that he's in the same city as you Well he's trapped in the city Because he needs the park to make a living So I love that

I know he's not going anywhere So whenever you can't find him You just go to every like public place in New York You're like What Subways have the best acoustics Maybe my boyfriend's there You know It's actually a real thing

You need a permit to play on this Subway and he gets them and it's a whole program. Listen, no, I think I really respect what he does. No, no, truly. I don't want to seem like I'm making light. I know you're not. I'm the one who's doing it. For the record, Dina is supporting her boyfriend.

I am the one who's laughing at what is going on in her life. But at the same time, I'm not saying you haven't found happiness. I'm just, you know, it's just a fun development. Yeah, no. I mean, no, he's really, I love it. I really love playing outside and like just people come and they really like it. follow I created a page

Oh, you're plugging you're fucking outdoor drumming This is fucking dark Oh my God This isn't really dark I don't know It's hilarious

I actually It's not Going back to our discussion Of like Of like you know Just doing stuff that's awesome I do think Playing music outside

Is more With somebody that you love Is much more fulfilling than for example putting a bunch of lights in your living room and being in your sitting here with your best friend

and cycling out your friends like one after the other I mean today we're only doing this podcast but there's days where it's me and eldest in here for 11 hours and we're doing like fucking three podcasts 10 ads a meeting and we just want to fucking blow our brains out

that's not natural no that is darker than that's what's sick and twisted about our world is that me and podcasting is is reward when going outside and playing music with your loved ones, I scoffed at it. But I'm actually, now that I'm saying it, I'm actually very jealous. Oh, good. Thank you.

And now I'm like, now I feel like I've gone. I've overcorrected too far. And now I've hurt my own feelings. And I'm like, wait, I am a piece of shit. Oh, excellent. No, because he's going to watch this and I don't want him to feel any way. And I actually do respect. I have, this is maybe some like aging into a dad without having kids.

But I, like, I have started to appreciate. I was like when I was younger I just was like that's fucking you know you don't know about it either you don't listen to good jazz but I was just like I don't know there's something about almost being 40 where I'm like if I'm gonna go see something live

I'm not going to a fucking concert and like sitting in a pit or just going to an outdoor thing and just like a festival I'm too old for that shit jazz is sort of like you know it's like buying a fucking suit you know

It's like, it's like, yes, this is like a little bit of a grown-up. Sophisticated. And it is nice. I mean, you just enjoy, you know, being out and fucking listening to some motherfuckers. And they're so dedicated to it. I mean, and just, he started as rock, just regular drummer. And then he got into jazz just for the challenge of it, but that made him like jazz. And, you know, just, I just feel like I need to defend him a little.

He's spinning. I'm sorry. I know we're all having fun, but he's not a comedian and he doesn't, you know, he's going to. That's true. That's true. I did. I did immediately light him up the way I would you. It was like, he caught strays because I was lighting you up so much.

He's collateral damage in a certain way. He's been in very successful bands. He's torn all over the world. But this is what he loves doing. No, that is awesome. Yes, yes. I get it. Anyway, follow Mooshkin.

But why are you drumming? So I get all of that, right? And that's awesome. And I actually respect him. But now, you said it, why are you? Why do you think you could just do what he's dedicated his life to? Well, no, not jazz. I can never drum jazz.

Okay. No, no, no, no. And did you play drums before you met him? Yes. Oh, okay. Oh, so that was like a common bonding. Exactly. Yeah.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I didn't realize you played drums. Well, I didn't. It was an accident, like everything else that's happened in my life. I was in L.A. and I was so depressed. And there's, uh, the Burbank Mall. Uh, maybe.

There's no reason to have gone there. But I've been to some malls in that part of L.A., but maybe not. the specific Burbank Mall? Well, they have this place called the Round One Arcade, which is originally a Japanese arcade. And they're only in like some states in the country. And I could probably name every state that has one because I've tracked them down. And they have this machine. So first of all, I grew up playing DDR.

So like my brain is wired to be addicted to like rhythm games and like hitting the beat. Okay. You were a DDR kid. Yeah, totally. Interesting. Where did you grow up? Central Jersey. Central Jersey.

Okay, nice. That actually checks out a lot. Because it's like that part of that like no man's land part of Jersey. That's not because like I feel like all of Jersey is either a Philly suburb or a New York suburb. Yeah. Central Jersey is kind of its own thing, right? It just malls. Yeah.

Yeah. And so yeah. So that feels right that you would that you would know about arcade. Like that's sort of like how the polar ice caps are melting. Like central Jersey is like as arcades were disappearing, it's like the one place with no culture or anything to do. Where kids would still go to the mall even into the 90s. Oh, totally. You know?

The mall was the thing we did. The mall and the skating rink, which is actually where DDR was at the skating r. Ah, okay. There was a mall arcade, but it shut down kind of quickly. Right, right. So you would go to the skating rink. Both to rollerblade and DDR. No blades.

Oh, you had the blades. Oh, yeah. Every weekend that was the thing. You were a big blader. Blading and DDR. Oh, yeah. Fuck, yes. And you didn't, you weren't into anime?

or you were? Because D.D.R to me is very anime-coded. No, I'm a total weave. I really am. I mean, I studied Japanese in college. I went to spare a few times. I know. It's everything.

Yeah, we're seeing a much different side of you this five years later. I feel like everything is shameful. I've said so far. No, no, this is not. I mean, come on, who are you talking to? What do you think I was doing when you were playing DDR? You think I was being cool when I'm in like, when me and elders are in the Baltimore suburbs just not getting pussy, not going to parties and just not talking.

anyone but ourselves. Yeah, that's right. Like psyching each other up to talk to one girl for four minutes and then being like, okay, that was okay, that wasn't bad. She's fucking making out another guy immediately. We really never even, not one of us picked up a woman in high school

like once. No. I've said it before, but like, it didn't even like cross my mind to even really try. I think in my head it was like, I'll fuck in a few years or something.

I'll learn how to get girls in like, four or five years. Maybe during college. Right now, mommy's made me a peanut butter jelly with bananas in it. I have to go play fucking WWE,

no mercy with my friends. Yeah, I was like, I'm having fun I hear with Stav and the elusive and mysterious big P ran a party. I'm going to get drunk

behind my parents back. One of us is going to drive drunk through a Wendy's drive-thru and then we're going to call each other gay. That was good enough for me. I'm like, I was a wholesome kid, but I'm talking about

like 17 through like 24 what my mindset was. I know. I grew up Muslim, so I was an in-sale as well. I mean, I really had the same life as you guys. Muslim weeb is awesome. That's kind of a rare,

that's kind of a rare setup. You know? Actually, I don't know anyone else like that. I was going to ask. I don't really know any Muslims. Okay. Really? Central Jersey, not a hub?

Well, sort of, I guess. Well, it was... Did you have a, like a, what is it? It's not a temple. Is it? Mosque.

Mosque. Yeah, yeah, actually. Wow, famously mosque. You're right. Church? What's the... You didn't have a Muslim church, did you? We did, but thankfully my mother didn't really have time to enforce that on us.

Okay, nice. So that was one blessing. Because also famously deadbeat Muslim dad. Yeah, right, right, right. You did. Deadbeat now just dead. Oh, yeah, really? Did they just get him?

Was he in the rubble? Oh, my God. No, he was in Iraq, right? No. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Oh, my God. I was about to do this.

I don't know if there's a Muslim thing for that. Oh, yeah. Do you guys have a cross situation? No, in that situation, I would say, stuff for a lot, which means God forgive me. Got you, got you, got you. Not that I believe in anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, yes, that's right, deadbeat. Dead dead. Yeah, yeah. So it was just you, just. just you and moms in Central Jersey? Or do you have... And stepdad. Step dad.

But, you know, he and I, we got into a scuffle when I was six years old. Six? And then never spoke again. Wait, what? You argued with a grown man at six? And he cut you off? What was the argument about? Okay, so we lived in a one-bedroom apartment and...

Or two-bedroom, sorry. My parents got one. My older brother, of course, got the bed. Of course. So I got... So in some ways it was a traditional Muslim household.

Yeah, totally. Totally. I got sectioned off into the living room. You know, those like dividers. Those like Chinese dividers we got from the flea market.

The Moody 18 flea market. That's so funny that you just lived that way. Like that's how, when you moved to New York, people like, like, that's me. I was like, I had to live in the living room.

It was so depressing. And I was poor, by the way. I grew up poor. It's like I had money, but that you had the, as a fucking seven-year-old, had the like, just moved to New York

to make it. bedroom, but in central Jersey with your family. Totally. So there's some real environmental signs who the favorite in the family is. Well, he was the boy. Of course. And older, first born. Older and boy.

And so I just had, you know, this area. It was my area, my space. And my stepdad, I came up from school and I found him like rifling around my space. Oh, wow. And, you know, I'm like, you know, a kid. And like, this is all I have. and I'm like, get out of my room or whatever. And he was just like, you don't talk to me like that.

And that was like it. And that was it. And you never, have you spoken to him since? I lived with him for the rest of my life up until, I guess, I moved out at 22. And I'm not kidding. When I say the only words we ever exchanged was, hey, Mo, whenever he would get home. And he would say, hi, Dina. 20 years.

That's fucking insane. I never thought about how crazy it is until I like brought it up to somebody once and they were like, that's crazy. No, I mean, it's one of the craziest things I remember. Really? Because like, yes, much. Okay, so we were joking about the drumming stuff

in the beginning being crazy. This is legitimately insane. That your father, for all intents and purposes, I know he's your stepdad, but it's like, the dad that was in your house since you were six didn't speak to you? Yeah. Because you were mad at six

that he was like going through your fucking, I don't know, unicorns. stickers like what the fuck did you even have to hide back then i wasn't hiding anything yeah it was just a a breach of trust yeah it was just like this is my you know space fuck you mo get the fuck out of my shit exactly yeah and uh did he talk to your brother um yeah um yeah he just wasn't a very chatty guy he was a dark household um there was a lot of silence yeah and now i'm realizing it's explained a lot about my life totally my personality um yeah yeah Absolutely.

I mean, there's no way that doesn't fuck you up when what you think family is. It's like essentially just Craigslist roommate. Like, you have the most Craigslist roommate set up that I've ever heard. A little sheet in the living room with a guy named Mo that you only spoke to. You just say, what's up, man? Like, that's, that's class. That's best case they're a Craigslist roommate. Like, you basically got a neutral Craigslist roommate, not positive, not negative, right?

No, negative. Oh, negative. He and my mother would scream and fight every single. So you got the worst set of possible. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was not good. Not good. Damn.

And how long did you just have the sheet room? I guess maybe like seventh grade or sixth grade. We moved into proper house. And I don't know how because they didn't have any money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don't. What did they do? Like, what was?

Well, you know, it was. you know, immigrants. My mother was a Montessori school teacher, but like it was not well paid at all. And then my stepdad worked in a deli. And I don't really know. A deli worker

named Moe is your stepdad. I mean, that is like that's like classic. Like if somebody like again, that's one of those things that's so hack that it's like you had was he fat? No. No. No. That would have been awesome. I'm honestly just

Just thinking of like, yeah, big fat guy, apron. Like, I'm thinking of him dressed for the deli, you know? No, he didn't look like a classic, typical deli worker now. Okay. But, uh... That's something. Yeah, what was it?

Yeah, the house. You're moving to the house. Oh, yeah. But this is all DD. We're all, we're circling the DDR talk. We'll get back to it. Don't worry. I'm a professional.

Okay. We've got a lot of very interesting threads here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The three-man weave. So, oh, yeah, I got my own. room then but but it was bittersweet because the fucking door there was carpeting and the door wouldn't shut all the way

because the carpeting was too thick so even then my mother could just burst in whenever she wanted no lock no lock couldn't lock the bathroom was my favorite place because it was the only place I could lock the door how many bathrooms in the house one and a half one that second one would have been

that full two would have been nice yeah that's all right what are you going to do so yeah I mean that's I mean I know what that's like too because it's like I grew up in a house with at any point it was me, my brothers, that's three of us,

my parents, five, and my grandmother, six, plus my cousin for a couple years and my grandma would come in and out of Greece, like, when she was still healthy, she would, like,

she would come here for the winters. And so, like, and we had two with, like, six people, and we're talking, me and my brother, we're talking some big shitters in this family.

There was like, that, That bathroom got real. Those bathrooms got fucking abused, used and abused. And especially the one on our bedroom floor was like, me, my brothers and my grandmother, you're getting like teenage boy activity. So it's like, and then my, I know my brothers are beating off in there because they share a room. And then you got old lady shits plus fat teenager shits.

It was just a real tough zone to be in. Luckily, I got, I got my own room kind of around the same age, maybe like, maybe eighth grade for me. But the funny thing is we just had We just had a Like upstairs There was like three bedrooms One of them My parents just had stuff in there

For the first 10 years of my life And it's like they had Me and my brother shared a room Into middle school Because my dad didn't feel like cleaning out Like his coats from the 70s Like which now I'm fucking sad Because I bet there was some heat in there

Like he had like a fur Like a faux fur coat That I think they threw out I wish If we had waited until I was 16 to go through that stuff I would have to have a But yeah that's you have to find You have to find your little

Like little solace In a crowded house like that And yeah there was like you know I was a big base We had our kitchen Had a little fucking TV with a VCR And that became my hangout zone Because when everybody would go

Like you know Most of the day it's like Everybody's in there But after hours the kitchen That's where you want to be Oh, that sounds nice. Throw on a little VHS, fucking make yourself a couple grilled cheeses. Some of my fondest memories of growing up

are in this fucking linoleum floor fucking basement. But yeah, you got a claw. So I get the bathroom being like... Yeah, there was... The bathroom being salvation. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of competition for it. Not that much shitting going on. A lot of fasting, so not that much...

Oh, yeah. Ramadan. Nice place to hang out during the toilet. The bathroom. There's a nice place to hang out during Ramadan. It's fucking, yeah, a lot of shitting going on. Although I bet you when it happens, it's all at once, probably. I think probably everybody's timed up.

Because everybody has just one big ass meal in the morning. Everyone's kind of synced. I mean, like, huge meal in the morning, huge meal at night. Whenever that bill comes due. That is fucking tough. Did you have to fast? Like, were they, that was the one thing they, like your parents were. Not the one thing.

Oh, there were many enforced things. But they were just tied. Your mom was just too tired to enforce. She didn't have time to take us to mosque, but praying, praying every day, fasting for sure, and just generally. Right, right. And I've never asked her about it, but I am so... Now's the time. Do you think at your wedding, you could ask?

I'm not going to have a wedding. You're right. Yeah, you're right. Well, who knows, you know? Outdoor wedding. Maybe. I've been watching love is blind a lot. And part of me is like, maybe that would be nice. Oh, interesting.

So is it now, you not wanting to have a wedding is because why? Because you were just talking about, you just opened up the podcast kind of beautifully supporting your boyfriend in a way, really going to bat, in a way that it's like does feel like real love. And you've even talked about how much you want to now drum. So why, what do you think, do you just not believe in love because of your upbringing? No, I believe in love. Love is the only, like I've always been obsessed with love, like the Disney propaganda totally. Really? Totally. I feel like everything I've ever done is to like cast a net out to like find the person who's going to like receive. respond to my art. Like, I feel like that's driven every artistic thing I've ever done.

I'm also, I fully agree where it's like that's the whole reason anyone gets into the arts. I think so. I really think it's like, it's, I mean, on some level it might be just, you want to be understood. So you're like, what if I put

this out there? And if somebody really connects, on some subconscious level, I think it's like a search for understanding. But also on a base level, it's like, I did comedy so that I could, so girls would fuck me. Like on the absolute basis level, it's like, yeah, you do something that gets you

notoriety because, or even just makes you more interesting persons you have fucking something to talk about on the basic level. And then at the absolute highest level, I'm like, yeah, I definitely feel that where I'm like, I do think on some level I've always wanted to, someone to get me for lack of a better, because it's like, especially when you're coming, when you're growing up in like a very hectic family

where it's like, you know, from, I think I, I mean, I got lucky. I got immigrant dad that was like, you know, a little dicey, but my mom was like the best. So I got very lucky in that sense. But it's like I had a mom who I think wanted to get me and just was too overwhelmed. And I was also weirder compared to like, I think me and my brothers were much weirder than my mother was ready for. Oh, interesting. Because, you know, everyone's kind of like we were smart.

Like, my mom just wanted me to be a lawyer, right? Like my, and like, and even my brothers who, my brothers are both pretty, like, one of them has a straight, you know, he runs a gym. And he has like a family, he's got a little kid, it's awesome. And the other one, my other brother, also, he's a visual artist and we're just odd guys. Yeah. And I think my mom very, I don't think, I think my parents are both weird, but when you grow up in a society that just like everything is so, in my mom's case, patriarchal and just top down and just do what the fuck you're told kind of stuff. And then from my dad's side, it's like, I don't think he's ever thought deeply about, like,

about who he, like, I don't think there's a lot of self-reflection going on. There's just, like, you just do the things. Do we have to do? You know, like, he didn't believe, like, church is a great example. He didn't fucking believe in anything. But it's like, well, I had to go to fucking church as a kid, so you assholes have to go to church. Like, I'm not, he wasn't going ever,

but he was like, he made sure we went. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah. He didn't fucking believe. And I'm sure on someone he believes in it the way, like, yeah, everybody just believes in God because, like, you know, God's real because they tell us he's real. And so I went to church when I was a kid. Now I don't because I'd rather watch Greek soccer with my boys. You know, but all, so I don't know.

I just, I think, so anyway, I am with you in that, I think, you know, when you're drawn to that kind of artistic pursuit, there is like a, it's connection, which if we really boil it down, that's what, you know, real love is just. connecting on a really turbo level. So anyway, but why no wedding then? Or you just don't think... I just... For me, I fear that like just getting paperwork involved, I feel like psychologically maybe it would feel like take the romance away.

I don't know, but then sometimes I'm like maybe it would actually bring us even closer to give it. Maybe I just don't like the word husband though. It feels so like I'm old now. But does boyfriend... That's cute. I like boyfriend, no? I think it is until a point. Oh yeah, maybe when I'm 10 years from now.

Boyfriend spoils. Boyfriend girlfriend. It's like, come on, guys. You got a fucking knee brace on. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, it's cute for a second. And then it's like, you know, yeah. I just feel like we're at the age where it's like that sounds.

I almost feel the opposite where I'm like, should I just get married? Because it'll be embarrassing to say, here's my girlfriend when I'm a fat 48 year old. I didn't think of it that way. And I actually think that's true. Yeah. Like once the crow's feet start settling in a little more, I think it's, that'll be the wedding. That'll be a time for the wedding. Yeah, it'll be a purely visual.

Well, right now we both still like youthful. Like, girlfriend still makes sense, I think. Totally. Are we the same age, right? Yeah. What are you? I'm 37. You're in the mid-30s?

I don't know. I think I'm 36. Yeah. Oh, God, I might be 37. 89. What's that? 37, depending. No way.

Depending. Depending. I think I'm turning 37. You're turning 37. I'm February, so. Oh, fuck. You got a couple more. It is fun.

It's funny, though, 37 does feel like, because you're just so much. Now it's undeniable. You're close to 40. Oh, yeah. You're close to 40 in a major way. 36, you're still like, it's like 35 junior. You know what I mean? It's like a little bit.

You're still at the, you're at least touching your mid 30s. 37, it's like you're about to be 40. Oh, man. But you know what? I see it now is these three years, my 30s are over and it's like, I have to to get a head start on 40. Okay, that's good way. That's how I'm looking at it.

It's like, I have three years to be who I want to be at 40. Wait, so what else do you feel like you have to do to be who you want to be? Just not be eligible to die at any moment. Like, that's the thing. It's like, I really could die. Like, I'm better now, but it's like, man, have I lived a lot of my 30s where if somebody heard I died, no one would be shocked. Oh, right. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if

four years ago you see a bunch of fucking black and white pictures of me on Instagram, would you be like, what? Would you be like, oh, he ate and pilled himself to death on the road? Like, that's what everybody would have thought. And they would have been right. I was eligible to do that.

And now it's fucked up because I've actually cleaned up my habits, but my body is breaking down. Like, it's almost like I'm healthier now, but But I'm still as busy. And I think my body started being like, all right, you fucking idiot. If you're not going to take time off,

we're going to force you. Like, my back is so fucked right now. My shoulder flared up out of nowhere. Like, I've been going to, I had two days off this week and I went to PT and a fucking, like, got like an excruciating massage. Like those massages that aren't, they're like a, it's like a procedure.

It's like some guy just fucking pressing on your shoulder hard as fuck for nine minutes. And you're like, gritting your teeth. You're like, I don't. want to think I'm a bitch. I'm gonna roll this guy to fucking think I'm a pussy. Keep going. And it feels better afterwards, but anyway, enough fucking complaining about

about how fat I. So yeah, it's mostly just physical stuff. Okay. You know? Yeah. And spending time with my family and like, you know, my brother, like my, I have a nephew and he's fucking cute as hell and I was seeing him a lot. But this, the last three months I haven't gotten to see him.

And I'm like, fuck. I can't be doing that shit. It's like I need to make time. There's very few things that are actually important. Yeah. And it's like, you know, comedy's not important. It's not important. It should just become, I guess the, the, like, philosophical thing is, like, when you put your whole being into what, like, something, like, comedy's your whole identity.

It's like, then you get to be fucking almost 40, and you're like, well, that's fucking lame and pathetic. Yeah, I think about that a lot. Because we're not, yeah, sorry to cut you off. It's like we're not, that's not that different from pouring your life into being a fucking investment banker. Right. It's cooler, but at the end of the day, you have poured your life into your job, and that's pathetic. And that's a big problem with America in our culture where it's like we think that's, you have value for doing that. And actually, I would argue, it's the exact opposite.

The more you pour your life in it, the actually more stunted you are and the barely a fucking person you are. And you put just monetary stuff over. It's like, what do you really want to do if you're successful? You just want to hang out with your family and chill. I think about that. I feel guilty all the time. because I'm just like, I mean, social media has really ruined my enjoyment of what we do. Because every day I'm just like, I should be posting.

Oh my God, I feel so guilty. I haven't posted. I haven't posted. I haven't posted because I just want to live life. And I'm enjoying just living life. So it's like if I'm doing that, then like what's the point of like the whole purpose of the career should be to enjoy life? But instead it's like my enjoyment of life is getting in the way of my career. Right, right.

That seems backwards. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But whatever, who fucking cares? Nobody wants to hear us fucking complain about how much easier our lives. I mean, our lives are so easy that we have philosophical problems. Oh, no, I know, no.

Every day I feel disgusting. I scroll Twitter and I see the horrors in the world. And I just like, I mean, like, my big problem these days is like, how do I, I don't know how to make that funny. I feel so bad about everything in the world. And I feel like a failure as a comedian because I can't make it funny. And I'm like, how disgusting of me. I know.

Like, that's the problem. Not like, how do we stop the genocide? Right, right, right, right. It's like, yeah, my art's not going to stop it. And it's like, I just, I don't know. Maybe if I get the perfect one-liner, they'll stop bombing hospitals. Totally. I know.

I know exactly. Yeah. It is like useless in the face of, you know. But at the same time, you got to do something, I guess. Who knows? Let's go back to talking about DDR. I'm sorry. We really go.

So we're. You're at this Japanese fucking arcade in Burbank. Oh, yeah, in LA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And actually, okay, actually, before we get to Burbank, when you're a, when you're a, a fucking skate rank kid. Yeah.

Right? I assume that's kind of like the social, is that kind of like the social epicenter? No, not at all. It was just me and like my core group of friends. And this is like ages what? Oh, man, I feel like we started at, like, 10 and, like, through, like, 18, because we got jobs there eventually. Like, this is, like, a huge part.

Okay, so that's what I'm saying. It's like, so this is basically like this. If your life as a teen as a sitcom, this is the second location other than your shitty one bedroom. Definitely. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like school, your shitty apartment, this place, and then occasionally for a change of pace, Mo's Deli. No, I never set foot in there. Never ever said that.

Why would I? That would be so awkward. That'd be so funny of all your only conversations were, hey, what's up, Mo? And like, Turkey on, Turkey and Swiss on a roll, please. Yeah. No, it was too far away. It was like several towns over. Oh, that definitely, you're definitely cheating, by the way.

If you're a deli worker and you're like, it has to be 40 minutes away. There's no other delis in our shitty town. I have to make, I have to make a fucking $10. I never thought about that. Yeah, classic cheap. When deli workers pretend they're like doctors, like, no, I got stationed here. This is where I had.

This is where I was assigned. I never thought about that. But, no, the deli would not be part of the scene. Sure, sure. I'm just trying to figure out the sitcom settings. The mall, the rink. Yeah. Love that.

And what's the, so you and the crew, what's the, are you eating that shitty skate rink pizza? What are you up to? I remember. Are you potheads at the time? Are you scared of drugs because of religion? Because I really weirdly, like, I went to Sunday school and shit, and most of that shit didn't stick,

but weirdly, like, there was a general morality that just made me scared of drugs. I mean, I still smoked weed and I was like, you know, 13, 14, but. Oh, no, no. I didn't try that until, like, at the rink when I was, like, I guess 18. Yeah. You know what? Write his show about the rink. I did.

I wrote a pilot about the rank, but I have to go. It's not good. It's not good. Yeah, well, I think it's, it sounds, I think you got the bones of it. That sounds good. There's, like, several zones. There's, like, the ice rink where, like, the jocks play hockey and then, like, the nerdy arcade part, and then, I don't know. The cafeteria.

I worked in the cafeteria of the rink. So you're very familiar with the snacks at the rink. Totally. Yeah, we had pizza. We had the pretzel bites. Is it the little pizza with the little, you can see the individual squares of cheese? Oh, yeah. That's what it was like.

That really low-grade pizza? Yeah. Yeah. I remember not, like, being tormented by the hot dog. because I knew they had pork in it, so I couldn't eat the hot dogs. That was a thing. No. Turkey dogs, huh?

No. Yeah. Are you still not eating pork? I mean, I will, but I still weirdly, it's, I just, I'm like, they feel weird about it. I, like, when people pick a thing for religious reasons, I'm like, that's the one that most clearly aligns with, I feel bad for pigs. Like, cows, it's like, listen, man, that fucking thing doesn't. It's sad, but one to the best.

back of the head and it's quick and done and the cow doesn't know what's happening. But a pig is smart as fuck. No, I think cows, no, cows are really friendly and sweet. You should feel bad about cows too. I can't. I'll send you some videos. It doesn't matter. I really won't.

I promise I won't. I'll be like, oh, man, as I'm just eating fucking short rib. Pork, too. I've gone down on pork, but I'm scared of it. But anyway, so, okay, so the rink gives, and there was, now let's get to this Burbank drumming machine. Oh, okay, yeah. So they have this game.

And it's made by the same Konami, same company as DER. And it's a real Yamaha electronic drum kit. So it's like more advanced than rock band. It's like a full kit. Yeah, it ain't that rock band bullshit. Fucking nothing. Rock band is nothing. Fuck, rock band's fun as hell, though.

I've actually never played it. That's a really fun, like, again, you want to talk about activities we're doing and not getting pussy? I remember me and the fellas, you weren't involved in this eldest. Were you? You never played rock band, did you? Not really, no. No, there was, because we also had a friend who, um, he, his family was fucking hilarious.

He, and there was just a weird, there was just like a weird summer where we spent a lot of time in his basement with his like, I don't know if he was on heroin yet. Or if he, if it was just like big whippets, like they had, they had so many cans of fucking whipped cream in their fucking downstairs fridge. Oh my God. Because his fucking brother was just doing whippets all the time. And I was just fatly drinking the, like, flat. whipped cream. You were eating a little cream. Pretending you're doing drugs.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing the whippets and eating the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, I would do the whip and then be like, I mean, we got all this fucking flat cream. Well, it seems fucking stupid not to eat it. But yeah, it's actually pretty fun. And I bet I think that would be a fun.

We should, future ideas, a streamathon of us fucking playing rock band for like eight hours, I think would go crazy. It's pretty fun. I remember seeing that. friend play and he was like he was really nice with the fucking guitar and he was just like yeah dead eyed nice with the guitar moving his body when he had to wiggle this shit no other are artistic athletic social skills of any kind yeah but weirdly nice at the fucking guitar so you might have a good time i know you you look down on it as a as a true drummer now i do especially

knowing that you can also set up this other drum game at home with a lot of effort if you get like a real e-kit and you can download the game and it's like so. It would be cool if there was a version of rock band that you could actually learn the thing. That's what this way. Okay, so that's what this is. You're going to a real, this is an arcade, you're putting in coins? No, you have to buy the card

and you refill the card. I swear I've spent, I spent like $1,000 on this machine, but as a result, I could play the drums. So you're just depressed. You've moved to LA for like comedy, I assume? For a job. A job, okay. A writing job? Yeah. That's so funny.

So what you did in L.A. Because by the way, that's a successful reason to move there. Like moving with a writing job is not pathetic. That's why you want to move. And it's like you were still like channeling just depressed Jersey teen. I was just... Something in your bones wanted you to get into an arcade. I was just, I went, I was lonely.

I didn't really know anyone in L.A. I was full of anxiety over the job. So I just went to my safe space, the mall. And yeah, the machine, if you get good at it, There was this guy there. I mean, I made so many weird arcade freak friends. Yeah, yeah. So I was the only woman on this machine.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I can't even imagine. People like, huh? What the hell? Like the first two, the first time you're like, they're like fat guys around. They're like fluke. And then like three times you're like,

milady. I see you are a fan of the drumming arts. I am not kidding. There was a guy that came up to me. He must have been like 17. And he was watching me play. And then he was like, I really like your nails.

And I was like, oh, this is just a gay kid. I'm like, oh my God, thank you. And then he was like, has a man ever ever said that to you before? He's like, he's like, he's in his like pickup artist message board. They're like, what you're going to want to do is give them some under, underused approaches. And like he, now he did he do that, but he was like he wanted credit from you for it. That's so fucking funny. I was also just like, I'm like 30.

I know you wouldn't expect that I'm like twice your age. So yeah, so there's this guy, there's this one guy there who was like so good at it. Really? And he became my like idol. And I was like, how did you? I was like. By the way, you're being, you're a successful Hollywood screenwriter at the time. You have been, you have been, someone moved you across the country to write for a TV show, I'm guessing.

and you're like, man, this guy that hangs out at the fucking arcade and is good at this drumming game is my idol? The fuck is wrong with you, man. I don't know. I don't know. That's so fucking funny. That's what depression does to someone, though. I get it. I get it. I don't know.

And you're so locked in on a thing. I mean, I'm obviously mocking you, but there is, I also do get when you have these weird obsessions that you can't. can't, and it's an escape. It was like an escape for you. Because also, those rooms are fucking, those can be nerve-wracking jobs, too. I'm still, I, I, it gives me more anxiety than anything except maybe if you're podcasting. Like, like, it all gives me anxiety.

It's like, okay, time to be, like, funny and witty on demand. And I'm like, no, I like to be funny in a very rehearsed, structured way on stage. Lucky for you, we don't got to do that on this podcast. This is what we like to call just fill in a contractual obligation. We got to get 90 minutes and our advertisers are happy and don't worry, Dina. We'll have you on your way in about 45 minutes from now. Is that how much is left? No, no, we got to talk.

We, yeah. I don't mean, I don't want to get you. You're doing great. This is very fun and very funny. No, no, no. But I know what you mean. This is great. So, yeah, so I'm like, you must be a real drummer, right?

And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, so if I keep playing this game, do you think it, like, like really teaches me the drums. And he's like, oh, this is the best drum teacher you'll ever have. And that's all I needed to hear. And I spent like so much money on this machine. But you feel yourself getting better. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because like, have you ever tried playing the drums? I mean, very briefly. I have no, I honestly have very little musical acumen at all. No, like my, you know, I've tried a little bit. I took like guitar lessons and I like it, but I just don't. Even I've tried playing the drums and it's like shit that you think would be kind of intuitive. Just like a classic beat. I can do for like, you know, 10 seconds

and then I'm offbeat. It's, you need to, like, practice the limb independence. It's a whole thing. And, like, I loved that challenge. Like, I just felt like, oh, now I can, like, move my foot without my hand doing the same thing. Yeah, yeah.

I got really, really addicted to it. And probably because of the DDR already in grade. Right. I was set up with it. The pathways were ready to go. Konami just has a fucking boo on my neck. What are the Konami properties? Did they do Tekken?

Uh, maybe. I'll just get a little fucking producing. Would it fucking kill you? to have that ready to go. They got some bangers. Metal Gear Solid, Silent Hill, Castlevania. Okay. Contra, Yu-Gi-O.

Contra's awesome. Yu-Gi-O. Some modern titles, E-football, Super Bomber Man are. I think I've played Super Bomber Man, actually. Shout out to Konami. That's a nice one. I like when a brand survives. It's kind of like a little niche, like, video game.

Because it's like everything just becomes, you know, Nintendo or PlayStation. It's like everything always gets subsumed. And even Sega is like just barely exists. But I like Konami still sticking around, didn't fucking fold into the big guys. Quality products. I fuck it. Yeah.

Shout out to them. I had no idea. They were, they did DDR. Unless I'm wrong. I'm not wrong. It's Konami, right? I can't be wrong about this. Oh, that would be devastating if you're wrong.

Who created DDR? It's Konami. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I felt you get actually nervous. Well, okay.

So we've got, we've gone through. You are the type of person that gets addicted to multiple Konami arcade in-person games. Knowing that, why don't we go into, it's time to solve some problems here, Dina. Oh, yeah. So why don't we take some calls? And at the halfway point, is there anything particular you'd like to plug here? People follow you. Follow Moosh Kill.

That's my boyfriend and I. We play sometimes in Grand Army Plaza. Mush, M-O-S-H underscore Kill. I like this. I'm actually going to institute a rule where you cannot actually plug anything helpful to your career from now on. And you have to pick, you have to pick like, actually, you know what? You can do one, but you have to also do another completely random, just personal project. Check out Moosh Kill everyone.

When's his going to hear? I guess I'll be in the headlining Raleigh Comedy Festival at the end of this month. Oh, this has already happened. Everybody had a great time in Raleigh. You have a special. Look, I'll do a little for you. You have a special on. Actually, I do want to say, don't watch it on.

Okay, don't watch it. Bleep out where I said where it was. I'm going to upload it to Punch Up. I really want people to follow me on Punch Up because I don't want to post on social media anymore. So please just follow me on Punch Up and I'm going to post a very edited version of the special that's a lot better than the one that's already out there.

Okay, damn. All right. So we will link to Punch to your Punch Up when this comes out. All right. Elders, play us a couple. Give us some calls, little buddy. Hey, what's up, Starvie? Yeah, I was just wondering, so I'm a 26-year-old guy. I'm a PhD student.

I'm a biologist working on my PhD at Harvard. I'm going to be honest, I don't know how the fuck I got here. But I'm in my fourth year. I'm supposed to be graduating next year. And last time I met with my graduation committee, I could tell they didn't really think I was on the right track. Um, Nice. He gave me a plan of attack, you know,

to figure out how to move forward, but I'm going to be honest. I'm kind of a piece of shit. Um, spend my weekends, you know, getting drunk and playing video games and stuff. And it's like, I want to finish this thing.

I want to really knock it out, but I don't know. I can't really find the motivation. You think it's made up. Get off my ass and do it. Yes. You know, I was just wondering if you.

got any tips for like, how can I, you know, kick myself in gear here and finish this thing out, you know, hey, like, I think I got it in me, but I'm just struggling to find... PhD for four years. No one who's done a... If you're a PhD for four years, that means you've been good as shit at school your whole life. That's a longer program. Yeah, yeah. And what do he say he's studying?

Biology. He said he's a biologist. I mean, I can see that being much harder. I don't know, man. This, this, the lack of specifics in him saying Harvard. Do people often make things up when they call? I don't know. I mean, look, maybe the guy's, for real.

Is that his whole question? Is there anything else? Yeah. Look, that's it. He's asking for, you know, direction on basically being a fucking loser in this PhD program. And his committee doesn't believe in him. Well, that's tough because you are a lose, just by even people who graduate with a PhD are losers most of the time. Yeah.

They have wasted their lives. Like, people that have been in academia until they're 40. Yeah. It's like, at least you're a doctor or if you're like, but if you're, I mean, maybe a biologist, maybe you're doing something good for the world. But like, I don't know. If you're a fucking philosophy PhD or like. That's what I wanted to do.

Yeah. I wanted to waste my life. And then I found stand up. Yeah. And I wasted it in a different way. Yeah. But yeah, Louie had an old joke about PhDs where he was like, they're like the, they're like the dumbest people because they've spent their whole life thinking about one thing forever.

So I will say you're kind of fucked. And if you're telling the truth, Harvard, I just don't respect anyone that goes to Harvard. I think the Ivy Leagues are so clearly, I mean, they're so clearly designed to just launder rich people's reputation. Like some of the dumbest people in the world go to Harvard. And even some very on-paper smart people, they think in the same. these very, they're training them and just be part of the ruling class at those fucking school. So it's like, at least you're in biology, but it's like, if you went to like Harvard

for like fucking political science or some shit, then you're a fucking idiot. Um, probably, you know, for the most part. Uh, I had a, I had a friend who went to like, uh, who went to, I think it was Harvard. But then he was like, this is bullshit. And then he just like, let, and now he went, and then he went to med school somewhere else. And then he was a teacher and like, he was an actually good person who was like, The Ivy Leagues are fucking bad and, right? He was a poor kid, like, black guy from Baltimore. So it was like they're fucking stacked against you.

If you're poor, they treat you like shit when you get there. And he was smart as fuck, obviously. So I don't know. I'm a little dubious about this question because there's a lack of specifics. But having, now that we've aired all my, the negatives, let's pretend it's a real question. And some guy is having trouble finishing his Ph.D. And he goes to bars on weekends.

And video games. And plays video games. That I do believe. See, here's where he's lying. It's one or the other. If you're a fucking Ph.D. that plays a lot of video games, you're not going to them. You or I have a social life.

That's true. It's weird to be a passionless PhD. Like, you need to, that has, it's like, this is the one thing you're super interested in. Yeah. So. Yeah. Why are you doing this? Why have you lost?

I mean, obviously I'm just going to tell you. whatever it takes to finish it? Just not to waste the money. Yeah, I mean, that's another thing. He didn't mention money. Are you there? Are you there? I mean, he must, are you a TA?

This just feels fake to me. I don't know what to tell you. Did he do, did he have it? Did he do any other calls? Sometimes they'll do multiple calls. I didn't see one. All right. All right, let's just say.

Now, at the same time, all right, fine. Let's transition to giving him advice if it's real. I know what it's like to be super burned out, right? Like I kind of feel like, actually right now, I feel like, fuck, I have so much to do. And like, when this comes out, I think we're probably in the middle of the bus tour. Come check us out on the bus. And I'm about to do my, I'm about to shoot my special. And so I get, you know what, I do get being burned out.

And I could see being at the same school for fucking four years or whatever, same program for four years. And maybe they're telling you to take a little longer. I could see getting burned out. But I do think if you're getting burned out, you just have to have a re, you have to be honest with yourself. You might have to take a little bit of a reset. Maybe you need a little vacation. Maybe you need just some time away from your fucking bad habits and just realize, like, this is stopping me from the rest of my life. The longer I'm in this limbo, the worse it is for me.

And you just got, dude, I don't know, you just need to fucking nut up and just shut the fuck up and do it. especially if your advisors want are telling you what to fucking do like that's the thing like with academia they tell you what the fuck to do and that's why I'm a little again I'm a little dubious because it's like academia's bullshit they just tell you what to do and you fucking do it there's not

that much fucking there's not that much creativity and thinking and if you're the kind of person who's been in a PhD program already you know what the fuck to do I don't know this something about this is just something's off here but if I'm wrong I apologize maybe you're just a bad storyteller you're not

You're in biology, so you're not in the arts, but go ahead, Elvis. If you're presenting like this to the committee, I can see where they're coming from. Totally. No swag. No charisma. There is a lack of specificity. I do just like the thought of like someone in an accomplished program, like biology, PhD at Harvard, just being, you know, very lackluster, mediocre and just kind of like, I don't know. I can see it because I just think back to college and that I've felt like this.

Obviously, I wasn't getting a fucking Ph.D. in biology. But, I don't know. College looking back is like the stupidest, easiest thing you can just breeze through. Yeah. But it feels like so insurmountable at the time. And this guy says he's 26. I could see a world where he's just a fucking, you know, dumbass who just got on the fucking educational treadmill. And now he's like, what the fuck?

That's a fair point. If what's stopping you is like being like, oh, I'm at Harvard. Harvard's bullshit If that's the thing that's like Because he even says The only, the only moment of humanity Is where he's like I don't even know how I got here

It's like dude, it's a fucking school You got in All schools are fuck are this At the end of the day It's a school And you're just fucking there Right? You just have to do what you need to do

If that's the thing that's stopping you From finishing being like Overwhelmed by it Just realize it's just a fucking school It's the same as every other fucking school you went to Finish it And you know what you're right

Think about my own college career I, when I was sure I didn't want to be in, when I wanted to do stand up, I was like, I don't give a fuck. My grades tanked. I did a shittier job at the end. But you know what? Well, I guess I didn't technically finish because I don't have my language credits. But I graduated. I walked.

Oh, you did? I walked. The people, I tricked them into letting me walk because they let you take your credits in the summer if you're, if you're like a certain number under. Oh, I did that exact same thing. Really? You didn't finish either? Yeah, I did take a summer close. Oh, you did take it, though.

Oh, yeah, I took this on my class. Oh, but you still graduated? No, no, I didn't get the diploma, but I got to a wall. Oh, okay. Because I was like, ah, fuck a diploma. Oh, no, I got it. I don't need this bullshit. And then I was a paralegal.

I just lied about having a diploma. No one checked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is so funny. I knew you could get away with that. You definitely did. You just have to find the kinds of companies where two years after they hire you, one of the principal partners blows his brains out

because they're all stealing money from each other. Did that happen? Oh, yeah. Oh, my. It was a really hilariously, like, immoral place to work. Everyone was a piece of shit. The whole company was stealing, like, even though it was during the subprime mortgages, and they were, like, taking people out of their houses.

So I was just a very bad employee when I figured out what we were doing. I was like, well, I'm going to be bad at work for political reasons. For morals. Yeah, yeah. It's my moral. They are the reasons I'm not. I'm playing fucking King's. or whatever that game was like 10 years ago or it's like I have to get my Viking stats up so I can raid another village.

Anyway, all right, whatever, I don't know. Did you, any thoughts for this guy? I just don't really. I don't get it. If he's already at the end of the line, what's the big deal? Just do it. Just do it. Shut the fuck up.

Or, you know, be like, stop. Just don't do it and follow your true passion. If you're going to keep gaming. No, he needs to do it. You think so? He can't. At this point it is, it's just like, look, dude. just get it done.

Who fucking cares? That's fine. I think so, too. Who fucking cares? I lost passion at the end, too. Just get it done. Mm-hmm. All right.

Really good advice for that guy. Next question, Eldis. Hi, Stavvy, baby, Eldis, esteemed guess. Okay, I'm going to try and make this quick. Okay. I have a friend. I've only known them for maybe like two,

three years now. I'm done hanging out with them. They're the kind of friend who always, like, puts me down. They think I get like way drunker than I am when you go out. Awesome. Pause this.

I think we don't hear it. Incredible. She said they think I get way drunker than I am when we go out. I'm just going to tell you, sister, you're on thin ice with that comment. I'm, it's like, it's like you still might be not a fucking piece of shit, but every person's like, I wasn't even that fucked up, dude. Very rarely are they the reasonable. party when there are two people have fallen out.

But we're going to take the cautious approach. We're going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Keep playing the, keep playing eldest. Am when you go out. And then they'll start telling everybody like my sexual conquest, stories from my whole phase, things that I've done that are maybe embarrassing or private. And they're a big fan of putting me down in front of other people, right?

Also, there's things. It's always when there's other, like, single guys around, they love to make a fool out of me. I see. Okay. I'm done hanging out with them. Fair. My thing is, do you think I owe it to them to let them know their behavior? Like, or do they already know the kind of person they are?

A caveat to the story is they told me about almost every single friendship group they've fallen out of. Over the past, like, ten years, they haven't remained friends with me. very one group of people because they're a fucking bitch. I guess that's my question. I feel like we've like growing close enough where I kind of feel like

I owe it to them to let them know like hey do these things that upset people and this is why no one wants to be now. Or I don't know. Maybe they know well about who they are already. Of course. Any advice would be appreciated. Yeah. Love this show.

I love El Albanians. I grew up around them. So, all right. Bye. Okay, well, that's your probably. Bad judgment. You love Albanians, and this is one of your close friends? Albanians do like to do shit like this. That is true. This actually is an old world hazing.

This is petty little immigrant shit where, yeah, I could see this kind of behavior. Oh, look. Yeah, you're around like four hot girls. Like, look, oh, remember when fucking eldest shit is pants? That is true. There's a lot of, like, stabbing your friends in the back. And bullying. She's talking about getting bullied by a friend. Yeah, she's being bullied. That just made me think of a problem I'm facing right now.

I can't even think about helping her. Do you want us to weigh in on your issues? Because we can. Fuck this, bitch. You want to speak about it and you don't have to get as specific or general as you want. But let us know. Similar situation. But like I made a friend like a while ago and like he actually started talking about a similar problem this woman had where like I have this friend.

You like kind of sucks. But I don't know whether to tell him like, listen, you suck. Right. But then later, I found out that this friend, like, sexually assaulted this girl. Oh, my God. And then I stopped hanging out with him. Of course. And then I would just ignore, like, his text, and I just didn't know whether to, like, tell him why.

Yours is a little different. She's in a, like, frenemy situation. You befriended a rapist. Unbeknownst to you, you befriended a rapist. And I think that's actually much more open and shut than my friend gets, is kind of rude to me. So, okay, I'm glad we fixed your problem. Oh, but should I tell him that he's a rapist?

I don't, oh, okay. I mean, that is actually up to you. I don't think you need to. It's actually what you feel, right? I think, like, you know, you're not, you've done what you need to do by, cutting this person out of your life if they really

because it's like it's not like he's one of your closest friends right if it was somebody close to you where you actually were like cared about them you would I think the right moves to be like you need to make like you fucked up in a major way you need to fucking repent

whatever that means make it whatever I mean I don't know what it is in whatever way you need to make up for this shit and you know but and then maybe you're fucking like if you have a friend who's done something horrible, then you just have to be like, dude, fix, you have to fix this, or else, you know, not just me, but everybody in your life, you're going to be, you know, people are going to ban

you. And by the way, it's not about you. You need to fucking fix the thing you did. But if he's like, if it was like, you made a friend and they're a general friend and then you hear that they did something fucked up, it's like, to me, if someone's already on thin ice or if like, I'm just not that close to them and then they do something insanely fucked up, It's like, I'm not, it's not my fucking job to fix them. I just have to get them out of my life. Okay, good. And I just don't support them.

And, yeah, just not supporting them, I think, is the main thing. Especially if they're just, like, not up front about it or if they're lying or whatever the fuck. Now, in this girl's case, I think it's the kind of thing where, yes, this is kind of classic. These are the kind of friendships that are childish. This is, like, shit that is from high school, middle school. Like when you don't know to just be like, hey, man, don't treat me like that. Yeah. Like I had friends like that growing up.

You just, and especially, I'm going to guess our caller here. I hear it. It's something I'm familiar with. She's probably a little people pleasy, right? Like that, this is, that's, I know this because I would fall into this trap of being in these kind of like fucked up relationships. And I'm going to guess she had a fucked up parent or two fucked up parents. Because like, to me, this is classic. For me, all this shit stems from like my relationship with my dad

where it's just like you just want to fucking, it was always easier to make an unreasonable person to bend towards them because then life is just easier if you just like, instead of standing up for yourself. And that's a hard pattern to break. And I think that's what our friend here needs to do is just be like,

is to just cut them out of their life. Now, I would say, you're not going to accomplish anything by being like, You have hurt my feelings and the way you behave is not acceptable, right? But because here's what's good. I know exactly how that person is going to react. They're not going to be like, whoa, have I really been doing that? I should change.

And even if they pretend they don't know, in the back of their fucking head they know, or even in a more sinister way, it doesn't, they're the kind of person that's going to make themselves the victim. They're going to pretend like, oh, that's so unfair. oh, I just, I had a couple jokes, but it wasn't the worst thing. You're never going to get a satisfying, these people live in their own reality, you know? Because if they were honest with how they're mistreating people, they would feel very bad. But they convince themselves that what they're doing is just normal or it's just hazing or this is what being friends is, right?

But having said that, for you, it would be a good exercise to set a boundary and be like, this is unacceptable. you've treated me like this, this and this. Get ready for them and be like, no, I didn't. And then you're like, you actually did and this is another problem is that you're a you fucking lie to me. You're like what you don't understand reality. And until you apologize for everything you've done and are realistic, we just, we can

never be friends again. That's, if that's, you can do that for you as a type of personal growth for stay, almost like practicing standing up for yourself to somebody that doesn't matter. Somebody you've already written off and who deserve. just like talking to. But if you don't feel like it and your thought is like, do I owe it to them?

You don't owe them shit. You could just walk away. And if they're ever like, hey, why aren't you hanging out? It's like, oh, remember the fucking 15 times? You pretend. And by the way, I want to apologize. I see what she means

where she accuses her of getting too drunk. It's not that our friend here is too sloppy. It's that this person just like, oh, you should have seen fucking Michelle last week. She was fucking falling out of the cab, you know? Like just making her seem like a piece of, of shit. So that's my, that's my, I think this is a classic situation. A lot of people go through this. The earlier you get these kinds of people out of your life, the better. And so yeah,

just move forward. And at the root of this problem is your nature. Is you being a people pleaser? Is you attracting the type of people that, because look, you might cut this girl out of your life. Other people will come back. That's how human psych, I don't understand why, but we just are, we are over and over going to attract it to kind of the wrong people when you grow up in a fucked up situation so this is going to happen again and it's this is good for you to just

have your fucking antenna up but you know we're rooting for you good luck great advice thank you thank you I've definitely felt I mean I've dealt with that shit too I think it's hard a lot of people I always want to feel like I think of like

the other person's position I'm like well if I were them I would really want somebody to tell me like hey I'm acting fucked up Like, I always fear, like, am I, like, doing something wrong? No one's telling me. So, like, that part of me would want to, like, tell them. But, like, you're right that they would just get defensive. And by the way, if you, if somebody told you something, you would listen.

And, like, because to that, you know, or at least you would, like, hear them out. Yeah. Or you would at least consider what they're saying is real. Whereas, like, I think these people live in a kind of fake reality. They rationalize things. And sometimes I'm jealous of it because, I mean, they're too selfish. but like I'm it's it's not a bad thing to look out for yourself first and I think it's important to look out for yourself first to have your basis covered but that doesn't mean you can't be kind to other people and in other times in specific instances put others first that's like community that's friendship that's love whatever but I sometimes I'm jealous of people who just like no I don't want to do that fuck you just never any self doubt yeah yeah or just put the you know I think I think like people that doubt themselves could use a little more that and they could use a nice dollop

of self. Not even self-doubt, maybe just a little self-reflection. Whoever is like mean to her is not thinking, is not considering what she's doing wrong for people. She's like, oh, come on, don't be a baby. And then she'll try and fuck her husband or whatever.

This girl, I was like, oh, okay, it was fucking Marty Graw. Is that that big a deal? I sucked her husband's egg for two minutes. God, you're a bitch. Next question. Mr. Seula. Hey, Stav, Eldis, Steve's guest.

Love the show. Can't tell you how much I appreciate all the laughs and good advice. For background, I'm 40, never married, no kids, don't really want them. And I generally have my shit together. I'm recently out of a relationship and I've been casually dating around for pleased a few months now, I would say. I lived in New York City and I'm not red-pilled or addicted to Kalshi or crypto. That's good.

doing pretty well on the dating front. It's that easy, boys. It's literally that easy. I'm sure he looks okay, too. I'm a girl tonight. She's pretty awesome. First date situation, late 20s, really cute, great sense of humor, smart, cool job, politically aligned, all that.

Go back to my place, start hooking up, and the chemistry was great. But here's the issue. She has a very hairy ass crack. Like, full-on, backside bush. Don't can be wrong. I'm an adult. I'm good with a regular bush. I've seen a lot my day. But the fart forest is a lot to handle, especially when I'm going down on her or fucker from behind. I try to see myself. He fucking paused to read his and fuck her from behind. That's so

fucking funny. No, if you know, I'll keep as expensive and time consuming, but what do I do here? What do you do? I hope she takes a, you know, I just hope she takes a cue from like my own. hygiene habits? Do I tell her I want to your wax? Your blower back? Do I offer to pay for lasers? Help me out. Thanks guys. This is a tough. I mean, dude. I'm so confused.

There's no bush that is interfering with fucking. The back, what is? He's talking about her ass crack? He said her ass crack. So her like between her cheeks, she's got a very hairy between cheeks. Is that what he's saying?

I think so. We're talking lower back into ass crack is what I'm imagining. I think so. I'm imagining kind of like a my ass situation here. Of course. Well, that's the thing. We're talking to Greeks, Albanians, and Muslims. So we know a thing or two about women with hairy lower backs.

You're not going to get a very sympathetic. This is the wrong episode. This is the wrong group. She sounds fucking beautiful to me. This is the wrong group. They would have made her fucking princess of elders. This is Village. She's the least hairy Albanian.

She'd be the least hairy Albanian. Look, brother, I don't know what to fucking tell you. You know what I mean? It's like if this is her shit, if that's how she wants to keep her shit up, that's up to her. You know, what if, like, it's literally like, I think this is just another, a lot.

Like, in terms of saying something, I don't think you can say anything. This is like how she wants. When you say upkeep your own body, it's like, do you wax exactly, like, do you wax between your ass cheeks? You probably don't. You know what I mean?

That's one for one. And so it's like, you know, some people like to have a fucking full crazy. Some people prefer having a big crazy bush, and that's how they want to live their life. And you can't as a sexual partner of, what do you say, first date? Yeah.

Dude, you don't even fuck it. You haven't, like, maybe you could have this discussion if you're in a committed relationship in the way that's like, hey, what are some of your preferences that I might, and then you feel her out, right? She might be the kind of person who's like, I don't care either way, but if it matters to you, I'll, yeah, sure, who cares?

Or she might be like, that's really fucking annoying or, you know, waxing, it hurts me more, whatever, I'm allergic to certain, and I just would not do it. And that's really her choice. But right now, I don't think you have a leg to stand on. There's no way to bring this up early into dating and not seem like a dickhead. Like is the rest of her, she is like, that's just one, like the, she's talking about her,

his hygiene. Is her hygiene bad? Nothing he said. No. He said she has bad hygiene. She just has a hairy crack, which, you know, you see from time to time. So people have a hairy, they have their, you know, their cheeks are hairy in between. What are you going to do?

I'm jealous of her that she's late 20s and already has gotten over the shame of the hairy ass. It took me to be like 34 to be like, oh, this is stupid and I don't care if a guy doesn't want to fuck me because of any kind of fucking hair situation. It's like you're gay. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, it is eligible for a pause situation. This is like a pause worthy. We're being like, you won't fuck her because, you know, she has a little.

hair on her. But it's like, again, I think, I think pubic hair in general is a per, like you can, again, if you're a relationship and you want to, and you guys can talk about everything and you want to bring it up, that's one thing. But as a hookup, you got no leg to stand on here. In my opinion. And yeah, maybe you want to, you want to make it a little, again, until it's more serious, you just have to either, it's part of the whole package and you have to decide if you like

it or not. That's how I view it. But yeah, dude, what's the fucking big? Also, what's the big deal? Who fucking cares? There's no deal. She's great. She described a great, she's awesome.

And it is, this is, I know you're not Cal Sheed, red-pilled, whatever. You're a little in the zone with this particular take. You know, it's like, just fuck a beautiful woman. And if she's got a hairy, if she's got a hairy cheeks, like, whatever. You know what I mean? That's her. With all the problems in the world right now. How dare you?

Also, it's like, yeah, man, that part of the human body has hair. You know, like, what are you going to? Is it really about how it looks? Is it aesthetics when you're fucking someone? That's all it is. Or he doesn't like looking at it. It's like, who cares? It's more about a feeling than a, and it's also like you're really taking a very specific

look at the crack when you're in, like, fucking from the back. That's nuts. Aren't you just enjoying the overall? Isn't it more about the whole? whole body. I'm not really looking at the ass crack when I'm fucking from behind. I'm trying to sneak a side view of a titty. I'm trying, you know what I'm

fucking, you know, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and flexing. I just have mirrors set up just for me. The girl does not appear. I've designed it so the woman's not a in a single mirror. It's actually very hard to do to not get to get her in any

reflection, but I've figured it out. Yeah, good luck. bro. Just fucking accept. Either accept or if you can't deal with it, then it's just like a deal breaker. But I don't think you should live your life where that's a deal breaker. LD.

Hey, stuff. Love you, big fan here. I'll try not to ramble. But so I'm going through this thing with my fiance. She had a bunch of stuff on her phone

you know, involved in like her exes. She had a bunch of pictures, their contacts, a bunch of messages. And she did delete only because we got into like fights about it, not fights, but like arguments. But, you know, stuff still comes up. She confessed to her sister one day that she had thoughts of one of her exes that, you know, like what her life could be.

now and like in the future if they were still together. And she thinks of them every day. Every day. We kind of argued about that. She tried to reassure me that. A little worried that in her private moments with her sister, she confessed to thinking about her ex every day. This wasn't like, like, look, whatever.

Everybody, you can't help those thoughts. Even if you're in a happy relationship, sometimes, like, the human mind has a real talent for nostalgia and for remembering things. way better than they are, right? So in moments when things are hard, everybody kind of thinks like, and sometimes your brain picks out someone you forgot about.

You're like, maybe I should have married her. And it's like, what? The fucking alcoholic you dated when you were 22? You think that's your, that was your true love? But so, okay, from time to time, if somebody pops into your head and you're like, that's fucking stupid, that's not the end of the world. But every day is one of the most fucking insane things I've ever heard.

But let's, there's more to the call. You know, we're spending our life together and she's over him. I don't know if I buy it. I don't. You know, she still has a bunch of guys on her Snapchat, you know, that she obviously has talked to in the past. To be fair, I haven't seen her, like, talk to anybody on Snapchat besides, like, her girlfriends. So, I don't know. Am I overreacting?

No. You know, should I tell her that she should be deleting this stuff, you know, especially for spending our life together. Oh, man. He's so cooked. She doesn't have the time to go through and delete everything. He's so defeated. You know, she is constantly on her phone, to be fair. I don't know.

Some advice would be helpful, thank. Oh, no, dude. Fuck, you're fucked. The advice is you're fucked, chief. I mean, the sooner you end this, the better. That really hurts me. I know. I have nightmares about, like, finding something like that out about the person I'm with.

Like, it just shatters your world. Of course, yeah. Yeah. And, like, dude, he sounds young. I don't know. Maybe he's not. He sounds young. He also said it's like his fiancee.

That is tough. I could see it being, like, been together since, you know, maybe high school, 18s or something, and they just ended up getting engaged. And it's clearly... White trash fiancé is like, that's less secure than girlfriend, if you're white trash.

Something happens with white trash once the ring is out, where the cheating, it's like when you really turn up, it's like the mini boss is harder than the boss. It's like if white trash can survive an engagement, they can probably get married. But there's something about fiancée, where it's just kind of, maybe because it's French,

it makes you want to cheat more, that title. But yeah, dude, I'm sorry. You're fucked in every way here. It sounds so unhealthy because he's clearly going through her phone. That's another thing. It's like, okay, let's take things step by step. Why do you have so much information about her phone? How did you learn about the conversation with her sister?

Yeah. Who let you in on that? The sister? Because if the sister did it, that means it was so bad that somebody's flesh and blood was like, I owe it to Jeff to let him know. You know what I mean? Like, because if the sister confessed, that's bad.

That's her trying to be like, you're a nice guy. My sister's going to ruin your life. Or the sister's a meddlesome whore who was trying to be like drama or whatever. That also seems like a little white trash detail as well, just like the sister with a loose lips. Oh my God. What if I just stayed with Bill? Sure, he had a heavy right hook. but everything else was awesome.

Oh, he wasn't a fucking bitch like Michael. Always asking me about my feelings. Shut the fuck up. How can I be attracted to you when you care about me as a human being? Yeah, I mean, dude, that's tough. I know, you're right, her sister. No, he is, look, he's a good kid, but I see what you're saying. And there's like, maybe I shall fuck him.

I'll tell him about this. And they have some rivalry that they're, you know, You know what I mean? You're a pawn in their white trash game. Yeah, buddy. So that's number one. How are you getting all this information? Are you, have you been, did you accidentally find something?

And this is her damage control? Is this her lie? Her halfway truth to make you feel better? Because this is devastating if it's the worst of it. If this is like, she's actually been fucking her ex. She's like, oh, no, I didn't fuck. him. I just told my sister I think about him every day. Like, you know, like, I'm sorry, man. I have no read of this. I'm trying not to be this fucking harsh.

But there's no read of this like knee jerk where that even if she's not, right? Let's say she's not cheating and this is stuff that she's hung up on, whatever. And she hasn't done anything untoward yet. The clock's ticking. And it's the kind of thing where best case scenario, she's the kind of person who is trying to get a rise out of you. She's behaving, like, best case she's doing all this shit because she wants you to be like who the what hell the fuck she like thrives off of a little like being scolded or like you know you having to step in whatever like i don't know uh that's to me that's the only and that's not good but i think it's like somebody who wants drama in their relationship is the best case scenario worst case scenario is

she is right now cheating on you the middle way is she probably she maybe isn't yet but if these trends continue, it's going to happen. So to me, get the fuck out of there fast. Get the ring back first. Make sure you get the money back. Get the ring back. Clares will take your, if you kept the receipt, they'll give you back. Whatever fucking pawn shop you bought it from.

You can get back your lawnmower that you gave them for an exchange for it. This is a mindset. I cannot relate to. I've gotten out of relationships for so much less. Like, I can't imagine, like, having to ask for advice about this where, like, I would have been gone so long ago. And what, how would you, do you have, like, breaking up, is that a problem for you, or do you feel energized to do it? Or do you just leave and let them figure it out when you say you leave, like? It's not a problem.

Yeah. I mean, I think I need, like, a period of processing and to, like, figure out that's what I really want. And then it's just, like, yeah, it's over. That's good. Yeah, I have, I mean, any big. I think going back to the people-pleasing thing, any big conversation where somebody's feelings get hurt, it takes me a little while to, unless I'm, like, emotionally in the moment

and I can just need, I'm trying to get better at just reacting to my emotions instead of just, like, you know, feeling something, and being like, no, no, no, don't do that. People get mad. When I can do it right away, it's freeing, but then if I don't do it immediately, when I realize it, it just, the longer I wait, the harder it is. But, yeah, sorry to this kid.

I just don't. Look, maybe the people will disagree with me, but this is one of those where I'm just, my spidey senses are going crazy. It's so crazy, dude. So yeah, brother, good luck. You know, get back out there. Start your life over.

Do not get married to this woman. That's one thing I can say, don't get married to her. Whatever you do. Tough. How defeated he sounded. I've been there. I've definitely been there when I was.

was really young. It's just like somebody just hurting your feelings. I mean, this is kind of similar to the girl whose friend was bullying her. It's just romantic versus platonic. Any mistreatment over time, it's like you got to stand up for yourself. You don't want to be in the kind of relationship where somebody just does this, behaves this way. And again, we're really bearing the things about her ex every day thing. That's fucking nuts.

It is just really sad to hear a guy with that voice, like imagining him in the room with her, like trying to get angry and stern, but he can't even get there. He can't get there. He's like, let me look through your phone. Why do you have so many people on Snapchat? And he just kind of knows. He knows he knows he's fuck.

Asking questions you know the answer to. Right. And eventually, like, it's like, it's like at certain point what you want is like to be treated like the Iraq war, where they at least lied to you. They at least cared. Yeah.

They at least, right now you're in the Iraq war part of this relationship where she's going to go at length. to cover up and she's going to lie. It's going to sound plausible at first. And very soon you'll be at the Iran War, where it's like, before you know it, you just open your fucking Siontisi and she's sucking dick in there.

And you're like, oh, what the hell? And she's like, oh, get it. This is my private time. You know what this is. You know what it is. Shut up. I'm not even cheating. And you're like, really?

Like, no. Go back inside. I'll be in in 20 minutes. So yeah, dude, get the fuck out. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry to be so blunt. I completely misread the situation. I ruined his life.

Because he's a bad storyteller with a flat affect. Give us one more, a little LD. Hey, staff, being guests. It's more of, I guess, insight in this podcast. You talk about what is 16 and 20 like, you know, if you get pussy at that age? You talk about how you're... personality is just like trying to get put you the whole time.

Sure. I lost my virginity at 16. Um, like expert ways in. I was never really having to pause this. I don't know. I didn't actually, I know what it's like, man. You don't have to explain it like it's fucking,

like it's going like, what's, what's it like actually being in Beijing? It's like I have a feel like. I think I know what it would have been like. But go ahead, man. Bragg about getting pussy at 16 without having to try. You really are bad a screening calls, Elvis. I lost my virginity at 16. I guess you think that was blessed

with never really having to... See the humble brag? Jesus Christ? I was blud. Yeah, the octave jump. 16 to 20 looks the same. You're always trying to get pussy even if you did get pussy. No, it does. You still trying to get pussy all the time. No, man. It's not the same thing. I'm a 35-year-old man. I have a wife, a beautiful one-year-old child,

I'm expecting. But, you know, I think it takes my life and I finally decided to, like, stop thinking about pussy. You know what? He was always thinking about it, bro. So it would have been the same even if you got late at 16. No. I don't know. This is a horrible call in every way, eldest.

Not only did you let him slip through just bragging that he got pussy at 16, But he didn't even offer an interesting counterpoint. He's like, oh, I would have been the same. It's like, no, it fundamentally would not have been. And you don't know that. This guy doesn't know just because it's like, yeah, okay, the guy who had a big meal, right, is, let's say a guy who has breakfast, is he, sure, he'll have dinner, but is he as hungry as a guy who didn't have breakfast?

No, man, it's that fucking simple. It's so, and you don't know, you don't know the existential dread of being like, am I just going to be a virgin forever? That hanging over your head is crazy. Also, it's like one of those things that immediately is gone. The second you have sex, it disappears. And it was, it dictated your whole life. Your whole identity is like, am I just a loser that's never going to get pussy?

So you, all due respect, man, you have no fucking idea what it's like 16 to 20 if you don't get pussy. All right? Just because you also, I didn't say you would fuck once and stop wanting to fuck. but it just would stop being a central part of your fucking identity, I guess, is my point. We'd have more confident. More confidence. It wouldn't be a big deal. You know what I mean?

Like, just because you're a simpleton who didn't get past wanting to get pussy, I am that way for psychological reasons. Okay, all right, maybe coming around to it, maybe I see what he's saying that we're all just base animals that are going to want to fuck no matter what. But still, there's just something about that. being a loser shit. You're also like the social and you're scared to get fucking exposed as a virgin. You have all these you obfuscate. You never

say you're like the hardest thing. In high school everybody grows up together. They've known each other. It's not a big deal, whatever. But when you go to college and you just you just don't say you're a virgin you know and you just have to kind of pretend or you just like

you just kind of you never want to be on the record. It's like now it's like politicians, whether they've taken money from A-PAC or not. You know what I mean? It's like they don't want to, now they can't exactly. They're like, well, I, you know, I'm a friend to our allies. You know, they talk in, that's me talking in general terms. I'm like, oh, dude, yeah, just going to parties, chicks are around, you know?

It's like, and it's like, you never admit you didn't get pussy. But then you're like, what if I'm exposed one day? Or if somebody, or God forbid someone just directly asks you, hey, have you ever fucked? And you'd be like, huh? What? Duh. And then you're forced to lie for real for the first? That's tough.

You have to just lie. And you have to keep straight. Like, who have I lied to? Who knows? You know? I had a guy confessed to me while we were having sex that he was a virgin. Wild. That's crazy.

I thought it was cute. Yeah. I think it's, yes. That's the other one thing. Like, dudes, it's all in your head that you're a loser. But I do think it would be endearing to the, the right person, you know? Because it's like, because it's, it's kind of

classically rooted in the like, a lot of straight behaving. You see it with all the manosphere stuff now where it's like, some of the very like toxic straight stuff is actually incredibly gay activity. Like homo social activity where it's like, like not the people you're afraid of is the scorn of other men about being a virgin. It's like the way other guys see you. Whereas like women, I don't think like, some women would think.

you're a loser obviously, but some might actually find it cute or endearing. So anyway, fuck you, man. Shut the fuck off. You don't know what the fuck I went through, man. What a weird call. I know. Elda, just a bad producer. I know this is part.

What else is new, folks? We know the podcast. It's one of the signature elements is that it really sucks dick some of the time. But I think that's going to do it for us. Dina, thank you so much. This is so great. So much fun. Super fun.

Yeah, check out. We'll link to the punch up. Check out the special. See us on tour if we're still on tour. Or if you're in Baltimore, we've probably at this point released a couple of last. Actually, I don't know when this comes out. So I won't say anything.

But listen, keep an eye out in Baltimore. We're going to try and get the special tapings as full as we can. So we might be releasing last minute. Tickets if you haven't gotten them yet. We'll see. But in any case, thanks for listening and we will talk to you next time. Bye-bye. You got a place out or what the fuck?