Stavvy's World - #177 - Mandal

Episode Date: April 20, 2026

Mandal returns to the pod to discuss his master plan for dunking via leg lengthening surgery, why red velvet cake is the best cake, how he was a self-righteous goody-goody as a child, his love for donuts, Bryan Johnson’s sickly look despite biohacking, and much more. Mandal and Stav help callers including a guy who’s afraid his 15-year-old daughter will snitch on her friend for vaping at school, and a guy who’s wondering if he should ask whether his invitation got lost in the mail after not getting invited to his friend’s wedding.   Follow Mandal on social media: https://www.instagram.com/themandalman https://www.tiktok.com/@mansandalman       Thank you to our sponsors! Warby Parker - https://www.warbyparker.com/stavvy buy 1 prescription pair and get 20% when you buy an additional prescription pair Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Aura Frames - https://auraframes.com/ use code STAVVY to get $25 off the Carver Mat Frame   ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome, everybody to Stavvy's World. 9-04, 800 stop. Call in. We'll solve your problems. We're here on this epic-ass 4-20, as we all know. It's 4-20 right now. I've legalized it. Yep.

What's up? Oh, it's 4-20? It's 4-20. Of course, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew that. Absolutely knew that. We're recording this at 4 a.m. at 4.

And we're putting it out at 6 a.m. on 420. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, you know, I don't know about you, dude. I set when it's 420, I set the alarm for 12 a.m. And I wake up and I smoke weed and I listen to Sublime all day. That's hard. Yeah. And you know something?

I don't smoke weed, but I do that same thing anyway. You just listen to Sublime at midnight. List to Sublime. Eat Sublime Donuts. They got Sublime Donuts up here? No. What are Sublime Donuts? Atlanta is a place called Sublime Donuts.

Okay. Because I thought it was an L.A. thing because they have a, I will give L.A. some credit. They have a great donut culture. Absolutely. I didn't know Atlanta had it too. That's awesome. The L.A. one is the best one.

They have the Cambodians. Yeah, it's always an ethnic group that's just so good. They nail one thing. You ever seen that documentary about it? No. So it was actually a dude, it was a Cambodian dude who, like, I think, like, refugee who came to California and work for this donut shop. Hell yes. And then he worked so long that the dude taught him how to buy one.

And then so when people came from Cambodia, He would like set him up with donuts. That's awesome. I love that shit. That's how like a lot of like Jersey motels, it's Indian families, because they would just like live in the three rooms and run the rest of it. And they were like, they would just bring, it's fucking genius. Yeah. Greek people just fucking, we run diners and then we teach no skills to upcoming generations.

And then we get into the arts. That's basically how it goes. Greek people really don't have like Vietnamese people, apparently it was one lady. after Vietnam that showed like 20 Vietnamese women how to do nails like one one like rich lady who felt bad for them

for being refugees and just I think she was famous I don't remember who the fuck and maybe we even talked about it on this podcast have we all this why am I asking you you don't you have no fucking idea

you're so bad of your job does that ring any bells to you kind of didn't we just talk about it recently no who were we talking well who's a celebrity we said what it was I think we said the wrong celeb

I think somebody said Maryland Monroe and it wasn't her. That would be crazy. But it was somebody who was, and God forbid, you fucking Google it. It's what's, it was a Jane Fonda? It wasn't Jane Fonda because Jane Fonda was out there on the tanks. Jane Fonda was looking awesome, dude. She was like, I'm with the fucking Vietnamese, which I get.

Right now, dude, let me not, you know, Mandel's, his career's coming up. I don't want to fucking, I don't want to say how I feel about geopolitics right now. But let's just say, I see where Jane Fonnell's. Fonda was coming from. Listen, man. One thing for sure, bro. And we say Mandela's on the podcast. Man.

We started talking about donuts. We'll get back to it. Man. Because I do. We're about to go to Atlanta. We've been to Atlanta. We were just in Atlanta. As we all know,

it's 420. But I'm interested about these donuts. Man, thank y'all for having me on the program again. Of course, dude. I'm a favorite with you. I, been on the program twice. Went on the road.

A lot of the tickets. Where are people from the program. And I'm going to say I can't eyeball them before they said. Before they said, I'm like, I know what you see me. I think I have a hunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that's cool, man. That's beautiful, man. Yeah, I appreciate that. No, we're an incubator for plus-sized talent here at Stavi's World. Absolutely. You know, that's, that's our vertical. People don't really think about it that way. But across all lines, fat, a fat identity cuts across all lines.

Man, that means so much to me, bro. Because I be in the comic club, I'm like, y'all got to cut the capacity and half, though. If I'm going to get involved with it. Yeah, man.

Yeah. Yeah, that junk is cool, bro. Yeah, you're right, though, man. We're going to lose this junk to Iran, though. Oh, yeah. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that. I know. I know.

It is crazy to be like, I'm rooting for Iran. It's a weird thing, bro. It's like we're, it's, you know, March Madness just finished up. there are a 16 seed that's hanging with the one seed right now you know what I mean you know maybe 16 is unfair

because we're not a one seat anymore we're a two seed so there are 15 but you know it's odd China's definitely the one seed it's one bracket yeah we'll do this through the through college basketball but you know it's odd to me though what's that when you go on YouTube every expert is like hey man this is looking bad for the U.S

and I'm like I know somebody told them that before the YouTube man knew No, I don't think they did. No way this information got to me before them. I really don't think they did, dude. They're like, hey, mean, it's mountains, man. They were like, let's fucking go, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're like, yeah, we're going to show them. After, you know, Pibio's saying he's getting, he gets black dominatrixes, that that's his thing, that he let the, the drunk secretary of defense. You got, you know, Lindsay Graham being secretly gay. I think they were all kind of hopped up. They're on a, they're on a heater. I mean, we've all been there. when you think you and your boys can fuck somebody up easily

and then you end up getting your ass kicked? I don't think, look, unfortunately, I don't think the great Satan, aka the U.S. is going to lose in Iran. I think hopefully we get the fuck out of their quick. You know, it's 420. Hopefully they blow a nice, maybe fucking Trump and then you Ayatollah got a smoke weed on 420.

Okay, listen, I'm against podcasters having Trump on their show, but if the Ayatollah and Trump will sit down on Stavvy's World and smoke weed, maybe we have to put them on Cush Brothers. We'll put that episode behind the paywall, okay? Because it's not about views. I'm not cynically inviting Trump and the new Ayatollah on for views. I'm doing it to heal because as we all know, podcasters, when they get involved in politics, it always ends out good.

It always ends up really good. And you know, I thought about that, as I said, my little take there. I was like, man, I have such a small knowledge of everything. I'm basing everything I'm saying off of three videos. That's fine, dude. No literature. Sometimes it's vibes and the vibes are bad here. And I got to realize, bro, people got a process.

My position in this world is to just throw stuff out. Of course, of course, of course. You know what I'm saying? There shouldn't be no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I feel like it should be loose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Up until you get a big enough audience where you can change the course of things. Yes. A comedian should be able to say the most ridiculous shit of all time. Unfortunately, the world has gotten so bad that there is no other media that has control of anything. Other than I guess Mr. Beast and like the Italian AI characters. Yeah. I feel like the fucking little wooden bat and the fuck, you know, I feel like those characters and podcasts are now like, you know, like fucking Clark Gable or some shit

That's just like that like fucking That's just our that's that's our only culture That's our only export is Podcasting and AI BrainRot characters And can I say something I appreciate about you I'm glad that you're the steals on YouTube Ain't got that big shine on it I hate the big shine on the YouTube

That's only because elders doesn't know how to do it I'm sure he would love to What do you mean the big shine? Like when you go on like a famous YouTuber when you look at the steel photo, they got that AI shine on it. Oh, like that's super, yeah, yeah. Like it's lit in a weird way.

It's artificially lit. I'm sure elders would love to do some out of fashion. I've personally made a few of those where I really up crank that contrast. Yeah, of course you have. Yeah. Of course you have. And it is, that is your role in the organization is to have someone with the lowest common denominator

of taste because you would be fucking watching Mr. Dude, if you were live right now, you would be the dumbest person of all time. How much you just have just supplicated yourself to AI. All I think about when I do this podcast, when we're picking the clips is what would I chuckle at while I'm taking a shit on the toilet? And I let that guide my taste for everything we put out. And what's big, bright and shiny looking? Yeah. You know.

That's fine. We don't have to talk about your fucking, you're. media strategy all this. Let's get back these donuts. But that's a mastermind at work though.

It's really not, Mandel. I promise you, he is not a mastermind at all. And he's barely at work. It's a middle mind. It's a middle mind

occasionally working. I'm the execs that have to, you know, show the creatives the way to have the mass side. You're my underling. Let's,

let's, make that very clear. There's a clear hierarchy in this organization. I'm in the C-suite with you. You're barely in the C-suite because it's a function of we have almost no employees. He do go on a collar shirt, though. He does. And by the way, every editor that we hire

is so much more crucial to our fucking, they could learn your job so fast. You should be fucking sweating when we get in the office. Because once I start talking to people who actually have technical ability at this, dude, you're fucked. You're going to be fucking, you're going to be the janitor thing you office, dude. You're going to get a demotion.

I get under the hood, man. Sometimes the boss has to roll his sleeves up and do the Lord. Boss. You're not the boss. The manager. There we go. I'll give you that. You are a middle manager. That is what you were always meant to do. He has such a Zen approach

to... He does. No, no, I do envy Elders. That's why our... That is honestly why our friendship works. Because if Eldis was even a little irritable, we're fucked. Yeah. We need to... Like, that's the plus. That's what comes, that's the, the, the silver lining that comes with someone who is not reactive at all. You know what I mean?

Eldis is never ahead of the curve. He's never affected. He will do what he was tasked to do. Even if it's stupid. Even if clearly you should pivot. Yeah. He's never going to do that. But that's positive. But that has its positive. I'm in the cut, man. I'm ready for action. But, you know, never, never. You're really not. You're one of the least ready for action guys of all time. But that's because he above six feet, bro.

That's true. When you talk, right, very tall. Any time I can talk at it's like, we're like, whoa. That's a good point. Put them in the cage. There is actually a type of, obviously, look, I have no sympathy for the tall. They have, I'm with you. They have the easiest lives of all time.

We understand. Right. 100%. 100% one of the, it is the equivalent. Like, a woman can be hot in like 100 ways. If we're being realistic, tall is the overall, like, Trump card. Yeah. In terms of male attractiveness, because some women just want a giant,

fucking, you know, homunculus to make them look small and feel small. And let me say this. Dead junk is rational. Rational. It is. It is. Rational. Evolutionary, you mean?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, on some like, if we are going to, war. Protect, yes. You know what I'm saying? If you want somebody who could see the sure, see above the crowd. Now you could argue you could get a spear right through your fucking big, big huge tall head by being above the crowd. Yeah, but I'm saying, I think the, guns or whatever ain't coming in the DNA. You know what I'm saying? That's something that we built around the thing. I know what you mean. I think it's purely become symbolic. Okay,

Because no chance is Elders who you want to take you through the fucking forest. You know what I mean? Like Elders is bonking his head on fucking branches. You know what I mean? He's also like tripping easily. It's the bigger they are, the harder they fall. If we're being honest, you want, if we're, now we're just like, if I was a woman in the, in the medieval times, who would I let fuck me? I think I would look for something closer to six feet.

I like how the options are R3 bodies No We aren't even discussing us yet I would get the leg extension You would get the leg extension surgery I would get it bro I don't know I've seen the recovery's crazy But once I seen the video of the dude

Doing a crossover And he did that big jump You see that I did see that I know the guy with the dreds Yeah he got up he did this Yeah that's that was big That was big that was big for the the leg for the leg extension community.

Because you could argue until then it was about stilt. It looked like they were on stilts. For sure. And listen, still, the recovery is crazy. I'm not denying that. It's like a year. It's like a year of your life. But one year away, bro. One year away.

That's true. Do, do, do, do. Yeah. Fly like an eagle. Well, you're not playing. You're never playing hoops. Absolutely. The excuse I always had it not being to that basketball was the fact that I'm short.

So you think in your mid-30, you've been fat your whole life, you get bigger shins, it will immediately allow you to play hoops. Yes. Yes. I'm going to the LA fitness. Immediately.

After recovery, I'm going straight to LA fitness. I'm ducking on cats. I'm ducking on cats. I don't know about this plan, dude. I'm crossing somebody up. Did you play? What's the highest stage of organized basketball you played? Rick ball when I was eight.

I played. No, eight or nine. No, nine, nine. Rec ball at nine and ten years old. Nine and ten, that's just when they start dribbling, right? Because I feel like I've seen... I mean, it's Atlanta, but true, true, true. That's true.

But what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, you put that ball in my hand today, it's a lot of, the goal is how far away from me? Sure. I'm six, one, six two. Okay. I'm windmill dunk. You think six two?

You get moon mill at 6-2. What? I'm throwing it off the back boy. Steph, I believe, is 6-3, right? Steph Curry, one of the greatest athletes of all time. He focused on something different. And he doesn't dunk that much. He focused on the shooting aspect.

I'm going... How old is Steph right now? He's probably 35, 36. 38. Oh, wow. Steph's 38. Okay. So Steph hasn't dunked in, I believe.

It's been, I think it was like, See the last time he dunked. I think it was like a couple seasons ago. He dunked in game. And again, that's one of the greatest athletes of all time. And you're how old right now, Mandel? I'm 32. 32.

Okay. So you're six years younger. Let's say you have some commitments. Let's say you don't get to the leg lengthening surgery until, I don't know, the end of this year. Let's just say top of next year to just be safe, right? So January 27. So January 28, you're fully healed, right? At that point, you would be, that's two years.

so you'd be 34 and you have, again, been very fat your whole life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm listening to out of deep. And unathletic. Yeah. And so you would be four years younger than Steph Curry is right now. And Elvis, when was the last time he dunked in game? Last time he dunked was March 2025 against the Sixers.

But the time before that was February 21st, 2019. Right. So, Steph, when he was your age, was not dunking in the NBA. But you think, you think, you think. In two years' time, you'd be able to windmill dunk with the leg extension surgery. Now, let me, I've got all that information. You thinking as I am with a five, six brain. Sure.

You don't realize that once I get that six two brain, metabolically, metabolically, I'm going to be in a different place. Okay. Steph chose to use his powers towards shooting. Right, right, right. When I get my new set of powers. Right, right, right. It's time to jam.

Elders, you're 6-6, right? When's the last time you dunked? I've never dunked in my life. And he uses his power for you too. He's not, though. That's another thing. That's another bad example. He's got plenty of power left over.

Elvis has never used his whole power at anything in his whole life. I got to conserve the brain power to get these clips off to get that contrast. He clippin. He uses them phalanches. All type of stuff. I can reach the Y, the P key with my pinky over here. That's huge, man. Because think about a proportionate goal right now.

Sure. What's this about seven feet right here? I'll say, yeah, let's say it is. I do windmill on this right now. You would dunk all in a seven footer. I could windmill this right now. If you add a foot to me, then I'm doing it on a regular goal. That's eight feet. No, but it's a multiplier.

It's a multiplier on the, on the, on the, on the, Legs trim. Listen, man, I'm with you. I would love to get the leg lengthening. But it's just the, you know, the recovery's too much, you know. One year for y'all. Where you fucked up is you were coveting basketball players growing up. You should have a meet.

You didn't play football? No, I play. You got to be a lineman, man. You got to be in the trenches, dude. I was a defensive end. Me too. I was a defensive end. Oh, that's hard.

Right there right in front of the center, dude, you know? That's where you fucked up. You're trying to fly. Right now you're like a, you're a, you're a, you're a fucking, dude, you're not a sky type. You're a rock type, dude, bro. You're trying to be up there. Limit our scientific advances. You get what I'm saying?

Once I get the bread up under me, you would be a marvel if from now, right? And let's let's give you the benefit of the doubt. you're getting ready for the surgery. So you're probably going to get in the zone. You know, you're going to get your diarite. Maybe we'll get some, we'll get some steroids going. Yeah. You know, we're going to get some tea going.

So you're going to get more. So it actually would be an incredible art project to dedicate your life to dunking one time. That's what I'm saying. I actually, I have now shifted. And instead of this being a stupid dream for a fat man who's coveted height has whole life. Now as an artist to say, can I transform, can I, we've talked about the, we like talk about the metaphorical cocoon here, right? And to come out as a butterfly. You're saying, what if I could really legitimately get into the cocoon? What if you're in your larval stage right now

and it's time to get jacked? It's time to get six to. And that's, we're adding six inches. And think about that, eight inches. You seen that, you seen that dude on YouTube. I know you be on YouTube that dude with that pale skin who de-aging himself. Of course, Brian Johnson. Brian Johnson, yeah. Him. Y'all, y'all know that dude? Yeah.

We don't know him personally. No, no. We'd love him personally. No, no. We would love to have you on. We would love to have you on. He drinking his son blood. Yep.

Of course. We talked about that quite a bit. I think he's not, not only that, I believe, yeah, he's measuring his cock hardness against his teenage son's cock hardness, which is, a wild wild type of science to be doing, to be putting I assume it's like a fucking

blood pressure cuff that you put around your son's penis and be like, yep, my shit's getting as hard as my son's dick. Now think about this. He aging himself like this. Sure. Right. I don't think it's working by the way. He looks like shit. He looks like he looks bad.

He looks kind of just like he's become kind of gay. Which is cool. Which is a funny thing for a tech guy to look like, but it's the glassiness of his skin that's weird to me. Yeah, the skin is hanging off the skeleton. The skin's not looking good. He's not tired enough on the skeleton

for me. You know what I'm saying? And maybe that's a, maybe that is a tone thing, but he looks unwell. Like he looks, maybe it's all the algae because he looks a little green. Have you seen what he eats? Yeah, yeah. He eats like a fucking algae smoothie and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like shit. Maybe it's turning

him less, you know, less vital, less. And look, I know, I know Brian's watching this, she's like, these guys are going to die. They're fat as shit. Yeah, yeah. Who are we to judge? We're sending ourselves up. How old is he?

Brian Johnson? He's in his 50s? But yeah, we are definitely, you know. We're sitting ourselves up because they're going to look at us. They go look at us and be like, we would say that. Yeah, yeah. We're haters. We're too fat, man.

But that's why I would love to have him on because it's, and honestly, for that matter, somebody like, although Brian Johnson, at least is an adult with a fully formed brain. Somebody liked that kid, clavicular. I would love to have like a Lincoln Douglas debate about the way you look at the way you look at yourself versus like we would be the two sides of yeah, yeah, yeah, of like how to live your life. Because he's like all that matters is your body. All that matters is no enjoyment. He's sort of like an even more, like Brian Johnson at least has this thing where clearly, have you

seen a picture of him when he was when he was like, because he, what was he like PayPal or some bullshit or some, some tech shit. He made so much money. And you look at a picture of him back then. He just looks like a slubby, shitty, engineer. In some ways, he's doing what you're discussing. Except for him,

because he's a fucking, you know, dork tech dickhead who they have to be, they have to care about legacy, which is like nobody, legacy is the dumbest shit of all time. One generation you will be forgotten. You need to be the greatest of all time. Like,

You need to be the greatest of at your thing to get four generations. Yeah. Like, dude, just now people are talking about like, um, Caleb, uh, what's his face from the Bears? He wanted to, he wanted to trademark the nickname Iceman, which is something no one's ever called him. He did it himself. And George Gervyn is the Iceman. He's a fucking legendary, uh, you know, one of the fucking coolest players of his generation. Nobody fucking, like, we're in our 30s.

We sort of know him. We sort of know them from like, if you're a hoops fan, you're aware of them. NBA Street, all the legend stuff from from 2K. That's how you kind of keep in touch. Kids now don't have any fucking clue. And that guy was awesome, dude. And that's not that long ago. I bet you kids don't know who like Dr. Jay, for example.

They don't know who the fuck. And that's the 70s to now. That's 50 years, whatever. People worry about legacy or fucking idiots. You will be forgotten, bro. There's like eight guys that randomly get remembered. and they just got lucky Jesus, you know, Julius Caesar, you know what I mean, Alexander the Great.

You have to do so much. And you honestly, to have legacy, you kind of have to be a sociopath. That's the only people we remember from history are people who like fucking killed the most guys, essentially. Anyway, clearly that's a guy. He wants to be remembered. He wants to still be a scientist.

But ultimately, he didn't want to be fat and he wanted to get pussy. That's really what it is from Brian Johnson. So Brian Johnson at least is like it's a nerd trying to be his version of like he won't admit hot, but I bet that has something to do with it. He's saying it's health and he wants to be remembered for being for living forever. And it's this ego shit that he has to basically time travel. He thinks he's going to be around for 300 years, right? Insane.

That's, I at least can, I know where he's coming from. These kids, this kid, that kid, Kovina was like, what, 22? He hasn't even know. This is how he's always been. he's never enjoyed... He's like this kid fucking smashes He's 20 Jesus Christ

He's some kid who talks about like You have to look a certain way You have to like He's the key to talk about looks maxing And all this other shit And I think he's just honestly An autistic kid Who's obsession is like looking good

But they have no joy in their lives Yeah yeah They don't know what it's like To get fucking high I need a pastry On a Sunday at 3pm After you've just spent the evening with a woman who doesn't respect you, but has huge tits. They don't, they don't know how

beautiful a day like that is watching a movie on your fucking teeth, watching fucking throwing on, I don't know, cobra, for example. Yeah. Throwing cobra on it in an Airbnb. You know what I mean? Ordering pizza, getting some, eating some pussy, even though it'll give you cervical cancer apparently, or you get cancer through the cervix or whatever the fuck, Michael Douglas style. They don't know, that's the beauty of life, is you have to do things that will destroy you. The most beautiful things in life will destroy you. And,

and, you know, so anyway, I would love to have him on. Yeah. And, but that's my opposing philosophy. It's like, then you're not even living.

If all you're doing is fucking, you're in a fucking pod at 7 p.m. because it's optimal to sleep from 7 to 4 a.m. and from fucking 4 to fucking 5, your red light therapy or whatever. And listen, could I say, stand to adopt a little more of that style of life. Sure.

That's not what we're talking about here. Everybody's like Stav's a fat piece of shit. I'm just saying, what, what happened to fucking the enjoyment meter? You know what I mean? Why isn't that part of like, why isn't anybody trying to have a good time? That's what I don't fucking get. So anyway, I would love to have Brian Johnson on here. And yes, some will say we're being haters, but we're not.

I think we're gentlemen that like, you know, sure, we have problems. We have our issues. but we're enjoying ourselves or we're trying to anyway. Yeah, I agree. I think I think that definitely you got to have some balance. Like I definitely think, like you said,

I could pick up a salad a little more often. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I do. You could do a little, you could do, if your goal is to dunk, instead of thinking about this, maybe you could do a little, you know. I could get a push up in every now and then.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, a little sit up in there. But I do think, yeah. But I definitely think you can't be obsessed with trying to make things in your control. That's not. That's a great way to look at it. We have control over almost nothing.

Yeah, yeah. You could try your best, but, you know, I think it can get obsessive, you know. Yeah, you can't obsess. And ultimately, if we want to get philosophical, is the body even you? Are you the body? Are you a different essence? I think probably whatever your soul, whatever the fuck, I think it's probably brain. But there's an argument to be made that it's, maybe it's not.

the brain on. It's just some kind of fucking, you're a ghost and in your body. Is the body really what you are? That's the thing about some, like these young kids who it's like, they just decided it's time to just purely objectify yourself.

I guess that's the fucking, this is the logical conclusion to this much fucking growing up with consumerism and like all, you know, and trying to get attention. But it's like, you used to get attention

to try and get people to fuck you. That's the, that's the beauty. Maybe that's what, maybe we've gotten to what has, what has alarmed me about these guys the most. Yeah. Is we have now completely taken that away. And to me, that's, that's what has connected humanity from, I bet you the first time a motherfucker drew on a cave in like prehistoric France to, you know, me doing comedy, whatever. And to every Mozart fucking guitar players, dancers, rappers, fucking even athletes, whatever.

businessmen for that matter everything everything has been done to get to for almost like to improve your sexual currency and these guys now have taken that out

it doesn't even seem like they like to get pussy it seems like they want other dudes to say they're fucking hot yeah I feel like we could modify which maybe they're gay which is fine if they were gay I would I would respect it so much more but I don't think they are

yeah I think they just but yeah Yes, attention. I think that commodified attention. I think that it was a thing. I think now it's like you have a numeric value on how much attention you have. That's a good point. And I think that what happened was now people are consistently trying to win that as a game of some sort. Yeah.

And the biggest thing I noticed was that with the YouTube or even with putting out content, where I kind of struggle with in my own career is that eventually you run out of stuff. You're a person that runs out of thing. And I've noticed whenever somebody runs out of thing, they start reaching. And eventually when you reach long enough, you go find some trash. Yeah, absolutely. But I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure health man. What's my man name?

Brian Johnson. I'm pretty sure he didn't gave us all the information he could probably six months ago. I do. I mean, I think he's really pivoted to, he had like a, you know, the girl was fine looking, a cute goth girlfriend that was much. Not even goth. I think she just was a brunette. But there was like, a couple months ago, he just, he did like eat Taco Bell.

Like, he pivoted to, oh, now I'm doing bad stuff. Now, and then he started doing like mushrooms and shit, which is at least interesting. But yes. Yeah. Eventually, he, you're right. You run out of something. And yes, people, you can't keep going to that well when it's empty. It's fucking embarrassing.

And I think, bro, I think, I think, like, we become a little insatiable with the intention. Like, we never have a. enough. It's always another thing that you could get. And so I think the only way to curb that is releasing yourself from that desire. Oh, yes, baby. But I think that if you came up as a person where that was in the zygai to always search for that in some capacity, you kind of just stuck in a loop. Yeah.

I think that's what we be. I think a lot of young people were bestowed upon something, but they grew up in it. Yeah. where at least in our age bracket we have some reality before that. Sure, sure, sure. But if that's your entire thing, that's all you know. I think we all grew up in the sort of like consumerism, the like dark side of the capitalist shit

is that you just got to keep making money no matter what. You can't just, you can't just like have a profitable business. Yeah. And just like, oh, I pay my bills. This is great. The whole idea of capitalism is you have to keep getting more and more. You have to destroy your enemies and you have to fucking, you have to be the only.

business and, you know, and like, at least, and the internet has just supercharged that completely because you're right. I think you nailed it when you said they got to, they want to make a number or they want to be, you have to, you have to assign numeric value to things that are just ethereal, right? Even looks, even trying to be like, you'll see these fucking insane people. Yeah. They'll put a picture of maybe the hottest woman you've ever seen in your life and they'll be like, 6.2 Filtrum is degraded

you know what I mean like they know about parts of the body that no no human being that's not how beauty should be judged right

beauty should be a fucking ethereal thing that hits you in a certain way and if and you start acting a little strange because you see something beautiful you know what I mean it affects your chemical

it does maybe it is chemical on some level but I don't want to understand that I want to fucking I want to exist in poetry I want to feel bro. Yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to just in the technical manual.

I want to exist in a poem. I learned that through, I learned that through trying to get a little healthier. I lost a little weight, right? And I feel like when I first was, I was looking at all them people on YouTube. And then eventually you learn, just eat the salad. Like, it's really, yeah, you can get into the nitty gritty of it. But it could be not no, burger, no vegetable, yes. Dude, it's even, you know what's pathetic?

What's pathetic is it's even. simpler than that. Sometimes it's like, don't eat the fries. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the burger. Get the burger and eat a fucking apple. And it's like just because this, this month I've been so fucking busy that I haven't been been able to cook for myself at all. And I've been ordering out a lot, but it hasn't been, and it's not great. But in the past, if I ordered out for a month straight, I would gain 10 pounds a matter what. But I've just been getting like chicken and fucking rice and yes, a fucking veggie on the side or some shit. But yeah, it is very simple.

Yeah, I think that we, I'm telling you, I think that everybody just got to make peace with, it's enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You did it. Totally, dude. And I think that so much of, I feel like once we start making, I think we have to get back to having, finding value in the things that we do every day instead of the result. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I think that if you go, if you're like, hey, I got to get the number. You'll never have enough of that. No, no, no. You know, but you, even in comedy, like, you could always get bigger and bigger venues. But if you kind of put more of the self-esteem and, like, I am doing a good product for these people. In the art. Yeah, for sure. This is the, I feel like that's more fulfilling.

You know what I'm saying? You're 100% right. It's the classic, the journey is more important than the thing, which I've been thinking about a lot, obviously. That's sort of my fucking, I mean, what you're talking about is what I've been struggling with and trying to figure out. But, you know, yeah. That day-to-day enjoyment in what you do is fucking crucial. It is funny when people will say that about, they're like, it's about the journey, not the destination.

And they'll use the Odyssey as an example. But I've read the, I've been reading The Odyssey, just the Nolan movies got got me pumped. So I've been reading, I read a couple different versions of it. And it's funny when they use that example because the Odyssey is maybe the only one where that's not true. The whole point of the Odyssey is the destination. He didn't learn on the journey

He was being a fucking asshole And cheating on his fucking wife And killing You know And fucking with cyclopses But that's a little That's my classics take We've gotten to philosophy

And classical literature Yeah But I will say this though Yeah The Randy's Donuts Is very good Yeah let's get back to the day I did

So Randy's donuts in LA I have had it Remember dude Remember after the L.A. special eldest. That was one of the best days of our lives, dude. We have to do something after the Baltimore special, which is in four days, as we all know.

It is 420 after all. But we had a great day where we got a bunch. It might have been Randy's donuts. And we got a fucking, me, me, Elders and our pal straight, George. And me and Elders did a bunch of fucking mushrooms. Was it mushrooms or acid? We did shrooms.

We did shrooms. And George, George. drove us around in a fucking car while we're eating donuts and going to different L.A. places. That's one of the best days. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely think that the.

Are you a donuts guy overall? I am. Yeah. I'm rocking with us. They're so good. I stepped away from donuts for years. And then, man, the donut and coffee move, it's good. It's a classic for a reason, man.

And I'm going to say this, bro. It's a pretty, it's such a simple idea for something to taste good. Yeah. We're going to take some bread and we go dip it in sugar. We're going to fry it first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're frying it. Dip it in sugar.

It's like, hey, man, this is a sin, bro. Like, this is delicious and it's negative. Yeah, you're right. It's certainly sinful. You're like, dang, bro, like, this is all the things that could be bad. You did turn something pure in a way to feed yourself into a symbol of excess. Yeah, there's no. Nutritional value.

No, no, certainly not. No, certainly not. Yeah, in your hierarchy of desserts, where do donuts way? Whoa. Yeah. Now we're getting to the real stuff. Enough about the ceasel, the emptiness of ceaseless success through capitalism. Let's get to the fact, let's get to the point where.

Social media is taking the soul away. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Let's get to the brass tax. What is your dessert hierarchy? Okay. So I feel like, honestly, I'm a big donut guy, but...

Respect. I wouldn't say cakes over donuts. I wouldn't. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. But I would say red velvet cake is my favorite dessert. Really?

A good red velvet cake. Really? Eldis is shaking his head and approval here. I don't know that I agree. I don't quite approve that. Okay. I'm a little surprised. I'm a little surprised whenever anyone says red velvet?

Now, I, now here's where we want to plunge into this. I get very upset about red velvet sland. Well, can you make the case? Because I'll be honest to you, to me, red velvet is a classic just mid-tier cake. Okay. I want to leave a pod. I don't want to do this for you. Listen, listen, let me say that I do think that people who say that have not had a good red velvet.

That's fair. And I will say we have a very hilarious, something hilarious in our life happened where a friend of ours growing up. People don't know him. He's not, we have not made him a character in any way on the pod. just a guy growing up in Greek town one time he thought he was shitting blood but he ate a whole red

he went to the fucking ER and they were like this is the level of like we have fat guys you guys don't even know about we haven't told you me and elders grew up around the type of fat guy

that it's he's the fact they would blow your minds if we describe the level of obese that we grew up around this guy was so fucking fat he ate a whole red velvet cake shit what he thought was blood was rushed to the emergency room people are like he's gonna fucking die he's got colon cancer and the doctors were like they had to get like doctor house in there they're

like we've never seen this much blood they got their expert and they're like what did you eat and they were like and they were like and they were and they were and they were like oh not much and then they're like and then eventually like a cake and they're like oh what kind of cake like red velvet they're like oh okay but you must have like a slice usually he's like no i eat an entire red velvet cake. And they're like, get the fuck out of you fat. Like, I'm certain, I wasn't there, obviously. I'm certain in that moment he had to experience fat phobia.

I think the doctors must have been like, you fat cocksucker, you just fucking used all our resources for two hours. Yeah. But we're trying to figure out where this blood is coming from. Because imagine looking at the red velvet boo-boo like, hmm. Yeah. What is the source? And it didn't even dawn on it.

This is so fat and stupid, by the way. that it didn't even dawn on him that Red Velvet might be part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wasn't like, because I've had some atrocious shits and I'm like, nah, that's, I deserve that. That's, I ate my way to that type of dump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, so now here's the thing, man.

Let's talk about Red Velvet. Let's get into this, okay? Yeah. My hunch is that there is, you have an emotional connection to Red Velvet. You lost me. You really don't think so. It wasn't like a thing you ate growing up.

I think Red Velvet is that. best cake. It's just chocolate with dye. It's not. It's not. Why do people say that? It's not. It's never been chocolate. People always say it's chocolate. It's not chocolate. Y'all have tasted chocolate cake. What is it? It's just it's a different. It has cocoa in it. But people, but people are so, tell me what, fine, do a little research for fuck's sake. But people are so like, people so busy on, on boxing it in. Sure. People are like, oh, it got cocoa that it's got to be chocolate. Relax. I'm with you there. People, people are all type of things. are all type of varieties.

Well, what would you discuss, what would you describe the flavor profile of red velvet? Because I'm having a hard time coming up with anything unique to red velvet. It has cocoa essence with cream cheese icing.

It's the cream cheese that does it for you. It's killing it. So the fact that it's a more subtle chocolate varietal with a cream cheese icing. Yes. And here's the thing about red velvet. Red velvet is

you can't make it bad. You can. So like great example. You could get a good chocolate cake, a good birthday cake down at the fart factory if you need to. Sure, sure. You know what I'm saying? She, we have one thing America has done very well is we have perfected sheetcake, birthday sheetcake technology. You go to Costco, get you a sheet cake, that's good shit. But if you get into pound cake, German chocolate, red velvet, that's when you're going to have to have a craftsman involved.

I agree with you there. And I think that what happened is people have been so overexposed to poorly made red velvet that they have allowed that to shade their opinion over the food. Sure. But we got to remain open-minded. I'm open-minded. If I'm anything, it's open-minded to cake. If we're anything on this podcast.

Matter of fact, let me know when you next time you're going to Atlanta. I bet. We're going, yeah, we'll be there. I need to know. I'll go wherever you send me. Okay. Go to this place called Sammy Cheesecake. Sammy Cheesecake place.

I'm listening. But they got a red velvet. I love this. This is like a fat speakeasy where you're like, now you're going to go to a cheesecake place. It's a cheese. But because of the cheesecake, the cheesecake icing's next level. And I'm assuming.

I'm going to be honest. I didn't put that together until you just said it. I think that's probably what it is. I'm just guessing here. You go down a sandwich cheesecake. Get it with the pecans in it. Don't get it without the pec. Okay.

Get it with the pecans. Now I'm starting to think this is a cultural thing. In Atlanta. I'm starting to think black. Black people must do red velvet in a way that has not crossed over. And I'm open to that reality. I think that must be what it is. I'm open to that reality.

Because you're talking to guys who know cakes here. Yeah, yeah. I'm over there. And Baltimore, I don't, it was never really a thing. Maybe it's a southern, southern black thing might be the best red velvet. I'm, I'm pretty sure that could play piece in it. And I do like what you're saying, though, where people, that you will, at least admit that the average is a higher degree of difficulty cake so that because

what people see most of the time is a mid the mid version of a red velvet cake is bad in my opinion but you're saying judge it on the top level because this is my thing I'm judging it based on people's best selves and I respect that and I think that the best red velvet is leaps and bounds better than the best chocolate now this is interesting I I I I think that. I think that you would go with a double chocolate cake and you gave me a red velvet. I guarantee you we go blind full test,

just straight flavor palette. The red velvet. I like this. What we have to do, we have to figure something out during the holidays and we have to have a tournament of cakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it will be, fuck.

We might have to do all fat November or fat December. And we might, because we got some, between the whole fat house crew, We get Mandel, we get fucking Are you Garbage? We get, we get, we get, uh, gay britt. We, we, we need to get some fat lady representation as well. You know what I think we should do?

What's that? We should do this either before or after. I think we should do a national comedian weight loss competition. You know, Reggie Conquest? I love Reggie. Me and Reggie been talking about doing this for like a year. I love Reggie. I love reggie.

But we should gather up a bunch of comedians and have like a big, like, So I am really thinking about And we don't want to you know I don't want to talk out of turn a little bit But let's just say Stavi gets ripped The series I've been doing for a while Yeah

We're thinking about adding some wrinkles to it And I think getting some other comics involved Yeah Could really help So this is good No no I think we need to figure something out about Right around the holidays We need to have a consecutive

Four Fat four weeks of fat guests, and I think we need to judge cakes every week. I think we need to do. And we're basically just stealing something from doughboys. This feels like what dough boys would do. They just had, are you familiar with the dough boys podcast? I've heard of it. You'd be great.

You got to get on it. I got to talk, because, you know, I'm trying to get, because basically what we're talking about is this is an Avengers type thing for fat podcasters. We might have to do it across like five different podcasts. We might have to join, we might have to do the like bandana, red and blue, guy holding it to talk cakes because to me and I would like each fat podcast to bring one dessert and we you are judged solely by what you bring and that way we take because there is a philosophical

divide between the best the best uh like the best available thing like the average thing versus the best of the best yeah there is a philosophic when you're whenever you're like fruits is a great example. When you're ranking fruits, the best blackberry is incredible. But most blackberries suck dick. You almost never get them ripe. Mango the same. The best mango may be the best thing of all time. But when you get a hard, weird mango, that's fucking sucks. Whereas a banana is never above a bee, but pretty much every banana that's yellow

taste the same. Yeah. So there's a, there's a apples too. An apple, if an apple's your favorite fruit, you're a fucking asshole. But a random apple is probably good. It's probably solid. But I'm never, those are never what you gravitate towards. So this is good. On 420, you know,

we're all high as fuck. We got the munchies. That's why we're talking cakes. On 420, we hatched the idea for the fat, fat comedians. We got to come up with a better name, but the tournament of cakes.

They need an acronym. We do need a, yeah, tournament of cakes is TOC. Not that, not great. We got to work on the act. Yeah, we need an old school, like, mid-2000s rap acronym. You know how they really,

We're forcing them for years. My favorite. Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maybe the gay. My favorite is Sheik. Remember Sheik Elders?

The dip set was really reaching for Sheik. What was it? Swag. Oh, I can't remember. Do you remember what Sheik was? Look up the Jewel Santana's Sheik. But I will say this, we do need to get this done before I get my leg surgery. That's true.

Because when I get that, I am turning my back on y'all. Of course, of course. I am turning my back on. This will be the final. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm turning into. a Brian. I get in leg surgery. I'm like, y'all put them burgers down. Y'all. Stop killing y'all yourself. You're not depressed. Dude, I can't wait. I can't wait to go through the fucking Marvel.

I'm going to just find the Marvel doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not cat. I'm never going to be in a Marvel movie, but I'm just going to get the transformation. Yeah. Because I, listen, I'm mocking you about your leg surgery. Yeah. But I have, I'm dreaming the same dreams. It's just mine are much more steroid, steroid based. Where it's like, look, I'm not, I have, I hurt my back. And I'll probably be dealing with this all year. And the idea of recovery for a surgery that's like worse than this, I'm never doing it. But the idea of doing some fucking steroids or peptite, rich people should be doing

peptides now. I'm doing all, I'm figuring all the secret rich guy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm figuring it all out. But you know something though, this does make us hypocrites because we did just talk about being enough. Right. And now we're trying to get tall and swollen.

But here's the thing. Here's the thing. There is nothing. That's another, that's the flip side because sometimes the fat, the fat activist stuff goes way too far. Totally. It's one thing to accept yourself for who you are, which is important. But let's not pretend. But let's, I think we've done this before where it's like, all right, everybody, everybody who's not fat, stop listening for a minute.

Okay, just us fat guys now. And gals, we should lose a couple pounds, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all need to be honest with ourselves. We should all. We've done this before. It might have been on an episode. You were on.

We don't have to pretend. But it's important to accept who you are, where you are. But also, it's fine to want to change and improve yourself. That's the thing that pisses me off. It's like, why is it have to be you're smashing your fucking face with hammers to get your bone structure right? Or you're the fattest guy of all time. We can't go upstairs. And now everyone has to.

And listen, if you're legitimately disabled and that's you and that's fine. and that's fine. People should have to fucking make your life not a living hell. But if you're just a guy like us who's had a couple

who's hit Sammy's cheesecake a little too often, we got to be honest with ourselves here, man. Yeah, and we don't want to get upset, we don't want to get obsessed with black and white thinking, man. Sure.

We can have some nuance. There's some nuance. You can lose some weight while I'm not also trying to, you know, never die. Of course, of course, of course. I think it's a little.

middle. But I'm pretty sure everybody involved knows these things too. That's what I'm saying. It's about the attention. I think all of it is people find value and attention from the internet. So you've got to be as extreme as possible. That's fair. Now let's, before we get

to the questions, let's finish up. So red velvet is number one to you. I was about to ask, what's your favorite cake? Okay. I was, maybe this is similar because I, because I'm going to say, I like a bread pudding as my number one. Interesting.

But very, and, and now I'm understanding where you're, where you're coming from. Because yes, a random bread pudding is bad. Even though I like it, you give me some bullshit with raisins. It's not set the right way. Yeah. But the fucking best bread pudding to me, it's just my favorite. Because because of the breadiness to it and you got to have, it's got to have chocolate. And it's got to be paired with a fucking ice cream.

Okay. It's got to go a la mode, right? Yeah. Don't even fucking look at me if you're having your favorite dessert. It's not a la mode. I'm in my mode if I'm a la mode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're not putting a fucking scoop of the finest vanilla.

Yeah. And it should be vanilla. I'm friends. So that it can make whatever sing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. The ice cream should be a, it's a role player.

It's setting picks. It's rebounding. So that your main dessert can dunk, right? Wow. That's how I see the alamoid. It works for apple pie. It works for fucking cake. I didn't put pies in the mix.

Pies are pretty good. Pies are pretty good. To me, pie is probably but what pie? I'm a big, I'm a basic, bro. I like an apple. Apple's good. Another apple a la mode.

Apple pie alamode is incredible. Yeah. Especially when the fucking shit's a little crunchy. Come on, man. And you feel like you're eating fruit. Go crust heavy. Crust heavy. And you get me a springy apple, not a mushy ass apple.

Listen, bro. I'll take it either way, by the. way. But I like a, yeah. If you want to get into the science of it, I hate to say it, bro. Grab them two apple pies and McDonald's, put them in the midflurred with no topping. Ooh, that's a whole other, fuck. The tournament, the dessert tournament.

Yeah. I did the science. The dessert tournament is, there's two levels to it. There's the absolute best bakery and then there's gas. What can you do at a gas station? Yeah, yeah. What can you do at a fast food restaurant? Totally.

What can you do at a fuck? Just, you know, and then like grab bag like, you know, we drop you within a fucking. That's fun too. It's like there's different. What can you do with a vending machine? What can you get done? You know what I mean? Like there's prison rules almost.

When you see those videos of guys making fucking chimichangas with Doritos and fucking dog food somehow, you're like, how do they do? Put this guy in fucking the culinary institute. My favorite video was somebody doing the incarcerated birthday cake. And they like smash some twinkies and made some layers And I was like man It's crazy man People are really resourceful

Absolutely The human spirit and creativity In fact that to me is so That is more artful to me Than almost every type of online content Yeah I would rather watch I would see the pathos And the fucking

The heart that goes into these guys in jail They just want their friend to have a nice birthday They're doing their best Absolutely You know what I mean? They don't want to be here just dudes eating fucking smashed up Twinkies. But for an hour,

it's like you're fucking at home with your family. And that's beautiful. And that is more, the artistic value of jail food is so much more powerful than a lot of people who make their living making art, to be honest with you. This is great.

This has been a very philosophy heavy first part. Which I love. Sometimes people got to see how we think. on this fucking beautiful program. But it's time to help the people, Eldis. So why don't you fucking play us a couple, a couple fucking calls. Stavi, eldest, esteemed guest.

Got a weird. That's not that weird. All right. So here's what's up. My daughter is 15. She's pretty cool. She's got like good politics, believes in, you know,

labor rights, not a racist. Good things. She's in art school. all around a cool kid, very empathetic and cares deeply about her friends. That's cute. So much so that when she found out that one of her friends was vaping in the bathroom at school, she was really bothered by this because she knows that vaping is for losers. I'll let her use it to quit nicotine, in which case, good on you.

But, you know, 15-year-old should not necessarily be vaping. And she wants to help her friend. So she's torn She doesn't want to She wants to know how to go about Reporting her friend to the Principles or whatever So that she gets caught or gets in trouble or something

And I didn't raise no snitch And I'm a little Jesus I got bothered by the fact that she's doing some cop-like behavior Yeah It's a big problem She should just bully her friend And tease her relentlessly for vaping And maybe that'll work

But she wants to be a fucking tattletail and I don't love that. So quick question, what do you do if your kid is trying to be a snitch? Thanks very much. This is tough. Bye. Because without question, I would rather have the kid vaping than the kid trying to figure out how to report her friend.

What? You're free, dude, you raised a fucking dork and that's okay. Because we can, you can d-dork someone and they start. from that, I think that's, that's fine, but man, this is a big moment. This is a big parenting moment. I definitely think it, I think you, it's got to take the approach of preaching the loyalty between the friendship. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that has more value. Yes. Then, uh, whatever the rule that she's trying to enforce. You know what I'm saying? Sure. And it isn't, he's in an interesting spot here because.

You risk. his kid clearly, and the funny thing is about 15 year olds is like, they're really like 10 year olds. Like mentally, they're just like little-ass kids. It's actually kind of cute when you see someone like, like even all the way through, even like first year of college, you have people who like are growing and you see them like, you'll have like a little cousin who's like he's kind of like a dude, right? Like they're in fucking, they're in high school, like him and his little sisters. and, you know, they, he looks like a, like at first glance, if you're not paying attention, you're like, oh, yeah, that's like a grown, you know, a grown, a grown person, whatever, a young adult. And then you fucking talk to them and it's like, they're fucking little ass, they're dumb babies.

Yeah, right? It's a fun, like, God bless whoever teaches like middle school and fucking and high school. That's such a weird, crazy thing to do. So this, so you risk, I think what's happening is, your daughter is kind of running on middle to elementary school programming right now. She's a little sheltered. This kind of happened to me. I remember when I had a friend who was trying to get pussy when we were 15 and I was like,

oh, what? Girls will let us do that? And I was like, oh, that'd be all. And, you know, he throws like a party and I'm a fucking loser because I'm,

it's like you, it's like you're a little kid who doesn't understand it's even possible for you to fuck because we just were, we just lived like, chill, like, I mean, you could argue to this.

this day, I live like a little boy. Like I just have a big ass TV, me and my friend talk shit. That's our job. You know what I mean? So it's like he could by being like, you know, it's not really a big deal if your friend vapes. He could destroy. He could turn his kid into being like, does anything matter?

And now she's getting fucked up and now she's going hard the other way. So it is a delicate spot to be in. Absolutely. Because I think you could definitely, you definitely don't want to invalid. the seriousness of the infraction to her. But I do think... Yeah, because it's kind of cute that her... His daughter is 15 and thinks it's crazy.

It's crazy that her friend is vaping. It's like, you're 15, you fucking dork. That is the age you're trying to do drugs. You're trying to drink. You're trying to do all this shit. But I think as you get older, you do realize how much value it is in community and your relationships beyond the things that are set upon us,

like what we're supposed to do, what we're not supposed to do, And so I think... And all that stuff's fake, by the way. Like, the idea that the... We actually live in a society of rules is completely fake. There's no justice.

There's no... Like, I think this is a good moment for her to realize what you're saying where... What matters is the actual bonds you make with people. For sure. The real, the, like, loyalty, the knowing that you can have their back. Because she...

His daughter is now operating in a world where, well, somebody's doing something wrong. You go to... authority who is infallible, who knows everything and will fix the situation. And this is a good moment to teach your daughter that like, her principal is probably a fucking idiot. You know what I mean? Authority is more often than not fucking stupid, right?

Like they don't fuck. And what's important here, or not fucking stupid, but not necessarily knows how to deal with things. And what's important here is to let her know like, no, look, your friend might be vaping. She might be going through something. It might be a phase. It might not be. She might smoke her whole love.

she might not. But this is your friend who you need to be there for. And you also need to be like, just talk to her about it. Bullying, making fun of her for smoking is one thing, like, whatever. But it's just like, you just have to let them know that you just, what's way more important is to be there for your friend. Because look, right now it's vaping, which is kind of under control. But there might be a time where they get in over their head.

And it's like, now's not the time to go to authority. guess is maybe what I would say, is that this is a really low level infraction, and you also need to tell your daughter she has to deal with things herself. This is a great opportunity to find this out because the stakes are low. Yeah, and I think, and I think it's nothing wrong with actually learning how to communicate concern to a friend. Sure, sure. Directly and having value in that. It doesn't need to be beyond the two people. It's like, hey, this person is important to me, and I think that this is damaging to you. Yeah. communicating that rather than trying to

export the responsibility outside of themselves. Yeah, that's fair. Now, you go back and you think about being 15. Oh, totally. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, you're like, you just wanted to stop. You just wanted to stop. But it's also like, how do you not see that go? Like, I'm trying to think about being 15 and like telling a teacher on fucking eldest.

I mean, to me, that's, the bigger problem is that this is even in your kids thinking. I mean like this is kind of insane where it's like maybe she's so scared of like it'd be like if Elders was doing heroin to me. Right, right. Where I'm like I need to have an intervention. But she's just fucking vaping. So it's

like and it's also cute that she told her parents. But I think this is a trusting individual. But I think this is definitely a sign of some level of solid moral compass. Yeah, for sure. That may just be misguided and

misguided and execution. That's a really good point because she's not wrong, but her knee-jerk reaction is wrong, is to snitch and to go to authority. And I think there's a two-fold lesson here, which is like it's better to just handle things within your group, within your community on some level, than to go outside unless it's a really big problem.

And then you're like, hey, you should probably save, you might never need to go to, like, authority or whatever, but it's like, this should be when your friend is in, like, serious danger. And right now, just being a kid, and you can even say like, hey, I don't want you to vape, but you need to kind of, going forward, you need to know the difference between something

where we have to call in somebody and that is where you would just have to talk to your friend. And there is value in saying that. And by the way, being the kind of 15-year-old, I can be like, I don't think this is good for you, man. That's good, that's important. But I also think on some level it's like, our friends are going to start drinking soon,

if they haven't already. They're going to start smoking weed. They're going to start having sex. And I think really the message is, look, you be whoever you want to be. You do safe stuff. Do you, like this stuff is crazy? And that's important. And I'm proud of you for feeling that way.

But you also have to understand you can't change the way your friends behave. All you can do is be there for them. And if they're in really serious danger, then we can talk about it. But this is not one of those situations. And then to say to her, as the parent, And if you're ever in serious, if you're ever struggling with anything, you can talk to me. That's the really biggest positive here is that she clearly feels comfortable, like, telling you about this. And I think that's the main thing you want to, that's a hard thing to do.

You should be proud that your kid actually wants to talk. Because, like, I would never, in a million years, think I could go to my parents with my friends doing drugs. First of all, I would be like, nice, let's do drugs. You know, like, I was hiding. I was actively hiding drug use at this age from my parents. And so it's cute, but, you know, that's what I would say to them. It's like, you got to handle some shit on your own. And all you can do there, all you can do is be there for your friends.

And if they're in serious trouble, talk to me, we can handle it, we can figure it out. And if you're ever in serious trouble and any, you can always come to me. But you need to start learning that, like, we can't really trust who's in charge. You know your friend better than your fucking principal does. You know what I mean? And you made the best point that it is cool that he has that relationship where she will come to him with anything. You know what I'm saying? I think that's something that everybody doesn't have.

Totally. Damn, that's so funny. What was the crew looking like at 15? What were you up to? 15. Vapes weren't out back then. I wasn't vaping. I was kind of a little bit on that.

I was like, I didn't do nothing. I ain't do no activities. I ain't smoke, nothing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't see that. I was one of them. Like how guys you got to, yeah, you're telling people they need to go to church to save their souls. I was definitely like, dang, y'all, y'all not studying?

I had some of that in me, you know, for sure. The sour grapes for not being at the parties. Man, look at what you all doing. I definitely, but you know, when you start, when you try to be judgment man at the age, you really just try to protect your own. That's fully what it is. Yeah, you're trying to create some image of yourself to protect your own insecurity. Oh, I could be getting put.

smoking weed. I don't want to because it's bad for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you guys should be doing that. You should be hitting the books. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not having an awesome weekend.

Yeah. Not fucking trying to do. It's a bunch of that. Definitely trying to be like, that's what you all doing? I mean, that's a classic move of like, that's another place where they're like fat and the, like, that's why fat, fatness has so much like cross,

community, like, we relate to a lot of different people because I think that's the kind of behavior you'll also get from, like, closeted people who are like, who are like, oh, God, this is, guys, we need to be focused and we need to, and of course, I'd love to fuck Cindy. She's so hot, but I can't have premarital sex and neither should you. It's like, there's a little bit of the, like, hiding being either a loser or hiding that identity you're uncomfortable with through the rules. and that's a big problem.

Your kid just sounds like a little bit of a goody-toos, and that's fine. That's kind of cute and good for you. Congratulations. Next question, Eldis. Hey, stuff. First time, long time. I'll jump right into it. I've been dating a girl for about five months.

And the problem I'm having is she busts hardest when she's riding. Now that's not necessarily a problem, but the problem is she rides aggressively. like a compound to that. She wants me to grab her hip and slam me her down on me when she's fucking me as hard as possible. Adding to that,

she does this little hip flick at the end. I swear to God, it hurts like nothing I never experience. It feels like she's about to snap my dick off. I'm trying different things, like adjusting angle. I tried

moving my hips up, tried putting my legs up to try and fix that. Doing a bridge. We told, no, no, get those down. I'm coming in for the thunder. Yeah. So where I'm at is she's a self-conscious person.

I don't want to ruin her favorite position. Sure. How do I bring this up to her without hurting her feelings and keeping my member intact? Additionally, I come the hardest one I fuck her in the ass. Oh, Jesus Christ. Thank you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't try. Don't try and sneak that in there. He's got a fucking treatise on every angle that this girl. He's like, and by the way, I like the fuck around the ass. I come to the hardest.

That's crazy. And for you to try, for you to try and make an equivalence of a woman riding you and you fucking her ass. That's just, buddy, that's apples and oranges. I hate to break it to you.

I do like that he's linking it with a pain. And he's like, she's hurting my dick. Yeah, I'll hurt her ass a little. That's how we get off. Where's the middle ground? No, brother. This is not a fair trade. Okay, let's start there.

Go Amanda. Do you have some thoughts? Well, my thoughts is probably around the thing. Sure, sure, sure. No, no, please. Go ahead. Have you ever had someone where you had a follow-up, when you answer the thing,

and then you hear their response? from their part, the other person to talk about hearing it on the pocket. Maybe a couple times people have called in together. We've never had, that's true, we've never had like a different,

maybe there's been one thing I'm not thinking of where somebody called in to sort of defend themselves. But more so we get them responding. We don't really get, like we'll never, we've never gotten, for example, the girlfriend's perspective here.

No, which I would be fascinating. But my dream is to actually be able to, one of the first versions of this show was almost like a judge show where everybody comes and gives me their take and I would love to do some version of that

I don't want to swagger jack Miss Pat right now she's got Miss Pat settles it and I would be doing I would kind of be stealing her whole thing to be if I'm being honest so I'm gonna let that she does it until she wants

maybe it's like family feud where it's like I can take over Miss Pat settles it it could be Stavi settles it I could be the next I could be the next host of BET's Stavi settles it And it's everything's the same.

It's just me. That would be fucking awesome. Man, you should come out with a Greek TV channel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. GET. I wouldn't want to fucking deal with all those. That's too many Greeks for me, man. There's only a couple good ones.

Now, this guy, which I would love to get this girl's take. Now, let's, I guess, should we discuss the fact that he comes the hardest when he fucks? I mean, that's kind of nuts. that's kind of crazy also we mean the hardest we're not listen that's the thing about dudes let's be very clear sure there's things you like more than others but it's like a guy bust the same whether he's fucking you know unless you're staying and you're doing tantric sex for 10 hours or whatever but it's like you don't come hard women come harder men come the same let's be fucking honest honest you just like fucking you just like butt fucking and that's fine no there's no there's

judgment here. I just don't appreciate you trying to pretend that these two things are the same. And I've been there. I know when I ultimately think you kind of have to take one for the team here. If this is how she busts, and we're probably talking about in a total, and look, how painful is it? I don't know. I've had to be like, you know, I have a fucked up penis famously. I've discussed that. I've had to be like, hey, chill, getting a spam phone call. I've had to pause and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I need a little breather for my fucked up dick. But I've gotten right back in the zone. And ultimately, I think the fact that you have a key to your girl busting is more than most many would kill to be in your position.

The fact that you know your girl can bust in a certain way, I think you just need to tell her, hey, sometimes it fucking, but you have what you need. You just have to discuss. Don't be afraid to just share something. And if she's self-conscious, that's one thing. You're like, hey, this is awesome. Can we, you know, can we just figure a couple things out here? Because I'm sure you can find a middle way if you're just a little vocal. If it's not all or nothing.

I bet there's some pelvic bracing that could go on for this guy. That's not the full on bridge where she's still in the same position. But he's like, you know. Maybe you need a pillow under your hips for a change. You know what I mean? Something like that. like maybe we need a specific ergonomic fuck pillow.

Maybe your dick's not hard enough, pal. I hate that, let's be honest. Let's call, let's really fucking, you know, let's throw our cards out on the tail. What the fuck is the expression? Whatever. It's a posse, because listen, I know that if my dick's not very hard,

it really shows itself when I'm being ridden, for example. There's no way to, you can kind of finesse a wiggly penis when you're on top. but when somebody else is making use of your penis as a tool, maybe your dick's not hard enough. And can we do something there? Can we increase blood flow?

Can we get our vascularity better? And then look, the fact that you like anal sex is just a different conversation. So let's not put these two together. When you talk to her about this, don't propose a trade where it's like, hey, you get to bust and I get to fuck your ass whenever I want, not an equivalence, because I'm guessing you're busting for, traditional, you know,

intercourse. But that's, I think that's my take on. It's you have to have a convo. You have to think about all the elements here. And if this is the way she busts, you got to figure something out here. Because that's a nice thing to have in a, in a long-term relationship.

Maybe you can do a little aggressive finger-popping. I'm sure they're related. You know? I'm sure you can achieve certain the same goals that way. Just just thinking of my own experiences. Yeah. Yeah.

So, you know, that's, I think that's what I would counsel the man on. Man, you have, you have no direct takes here? Yeah, I really don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, I was, I was listening to bro. And he was having so much fun. He was pretty technical about it too. Yeah, like he was having so much fun.

And I did think, like you said, he did go super detail. and then at the last minute said his thing and they hung up. Yeah, that was like... That was a little nuts. That called me a little off guard. That wasn't slick. We caught you.

I do appreciate it because I do think we're in similar space. Like I think we're both, me and you were both sort of fascinated by like a type of retro fat guy, unc type of... Yeah, yeah, for sure. But I appreciate about you is that you have a wholesomeness. Because there is very typically that kind of older, unc, scumbag, uncle,

you know, like not quite a dad, like literally your uncle that's around. Oftentimes there's a horny energy attached to it. And I like that you keep it pure. For you, it's about the aesthetics. There's not, there's hints of horniness, but there's no, there's no outward displays of horniness. Honestly, bro, I think,

I think I'm one of them people who, because most of my stand-up career is, is gigs. I think I'm still stuck in the like keep it clean. Keep it clean. If you want to work, bro. Yeah.

Yeah. If you want to work. You know what I'm saying? We y'all got an audience, bro. Yeah, yeah. It's a lot of like, I can work gigs.

Sure. And that's true. That is my, I definitely ran up against that a lot early in my career. Totally, totally, totally, totally. Shout out to Tom Papa who did not, it's not a clean comic,

but people thought of him that way. And he let me, I opened from for years. and the one time a lady was like, your opener was disgusting. And he was like, fuck you, lady. He fully had my back.

It was awesome. He's the man for that. It really is more about that. I see. I see. I just be trying to like. Oh, I'd love, oh, okay.

I'd be so scared like, if I have to go back to colleges and churches, I don't want to look up the father's back. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sure. I respect that. Okay, nice.

So there might be a horny unveiling with Mandel. in about a decade. I don't think I've heard them two words. Because that really is sort of the final unk form. It's just being sort of, and there's a passive horniness to it where it's not aggressive. You're just always a little horny

and you're always just looking at, you know, it's like when you see an old fat guy just like, it looks like he's really, usually he's watching the most intense pornography you've ever seen in your life. I do feel like there is, like Patrice had an old bit about being like an old creep or like an undercover creep

where it's just, I'm trying to he's just like in a park bench looking like a woman's like ankles or something. You know what I mean? He's just like, I got to find that bit. That is kind of what we're describing. Anyway, next question, LD. Hey, Stavi, what's up, guys, girls, non-binary pals, whatever.

Jumping right in. So I got a friend Thank you for inclusivity. We're planning this like, you know, cross-country Scotland trips, road trip, right? We've always been platonic friends we used to work together. We've done some travels like this. I'm not expecting the fuck.

You know, maybe. You never know. Less than 5% chance. But even like with those chances being pretty low, she's an outdoorsy person. I imagine we're going to be doing a lot of hikes. I like doing that stuff too. This is another classic trying to sneak something in.

Anyway, 5% I'm not thinking about it. It's all you're thinking about. Hey, come on, man. Come on, dude. Who the fuck are you calling into? You're going on a trip with a girl. You're like, oh, I'm probably not going to fuck.

I'm not even thinking about it. Every moment you're around her, you're vibrating with how badly you want to fuck her. And you think you can hide that? You're going on a trip with a platonic trip. Anyway, sorry. He brought it up twice. Yeah. This far.

That is dishonest. So can we, sorry, hit me with, I just got a weird text. So I missed the very beginning. So this friend is. in England and they're planning a cross-country trip to Scotland. That sounds like it'll be pretty outdoorsy. That's cute, though. I like that trip idea.

And so he lives where? He lives here or he lives there? He didn't specify, but I think he lives here. Okay. Anyway, keep going. I am probably in the worst shape of my fucking life. I'm damn near 300 pounds. And I've got like three or four months to prepare.

5.7? That's a normal weight for that. Sounds like you're just right. from what my doctors told me, 5,7300. That's exactly right on the BMI scale. A lot of time, but you could still make some significant progress.

I just can't find any motivation stuff. I just can't stop eating and smoking weed and oversleeping. I don't know. I'm just really depressed. The world seems shitty war and blah, blah, blah. And I've been thinking about quitting the weed, but like, it's like I'm pretty sure me buying weed is one of my friends, like, only sources of income.

And I guess it's an excuse, but that stops me from, like, just trying to cut that out. But what do I do? How do I get ripped like you? How do I find the motivation to become a better man to hike and maybe smash this girl? I mean, okay, there it is. Love you guys.

Love the pause. Keep doing the shit. Nah, I'm with you. Because you know what this guy is, this guy is living in an oil field, and he's trying to perfect solar power. Right? He's, he needs the motivation. You just now.

He needs the motivation to lose weight. And he's pretending he doesn't want to fuck this girl. My, my boy, you got, that's the old, what were we talking about? Art, human existence. Everything has, in history, has been done to get pussy. You clearly want to fuck this girl so bad. You're fat as shit. You're going to be alone with her for a fucking month on a cross-country trip.

And that's not the fucking month. You're pretending you don't want to fuck her. And that's, that means, that's, that means, that's you locking away your oil well. Admit yourself, all you want to do is fuck this woman. You would still get something out of the trip. Don't get me wrong. Even if she doesn't want to, you're not a piece of shit. If she doesn't want to fuck you, you're not going to be an asshole.

But admit that to yourself. Start drilling in the fucking getting pussy oil fields. Instead of this nebulous, like, be a better man. I couldn't possibly stop smoking weed. It would completely disrupt my local economy if I stopped buying eighth from my fucking college dropout friend. Be honest with yourself, okay? Start drilling in the pussy energy well, okay? And stop pretending you're doing this for moral higher standards.

And one day you'll get there, by the way, right? Like, I'm at a place where, look, my life fucking awesome. I don't need to lose weight other than because I want to live, right? But that wasn't always the case. When I was young and had not, the only times I ever fucking lost weight was honestly for a girl or for girls generally, right? I want, I do have a little take here though.

Please. And I do think that I do think. And we are two different. We do have a different, it's like we have a different operating system in the same model. You know what I mean? Like we both have, we're both, it's,

We're both like, you know, different engines and like, you know, P.T. Cruisers or whatever. Totally. Totally. Totally. So I am interested that you're for your take, sure, because I don't think you have been, you know, you're not as, like we said, horny forward. So let's get your take here. No, I will say this. I do think that at some point, you have to put some value in wanting to lose weight or be healthier for yourself. For sure. Because I think that's more sustainable over time than for this particular person. We're in full agreement. And I think that I think that the more that you have some more value and feel like I am worth whatever that is, rather that be being, I don't know he said, you know, doing whatever he wants to quit or lose weight or gain his skills or whatever.

I think you'll be in less positions where you have to pretend like you don't want to be with this lady. Sure. You'll just have more opportunity to be around women Who like you for you Because you like you for you You give what I'm saying? Right, right. No, that's even you're right Even pretending he doesn't want a fucker

Is sort of that It's his own protection It's like, why are you guys out smoking weed That's bad for you? It's the evolved version of that Right? And I think you got to put that value in yourself You got to be like, hey man

I like me so much That I want the best version of me Because I deserve it Yes And then I think you'll have less times Where you're like Trying to figure out these puzzles around, of course, of course.

Around, um, anything you want in life, because you'll, you'll find the value in you first. Yeah. I'm saying. And I do, and that's, that's kind of what I'm saying is like, look, you, this will not last. This is not, it's, it's, it is oil versus solar because it is bad for you. It's bad for the environment. It doesn't burn clean. The fuel of either hatred or desire, most powerful potent fuel.

But it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. pollutes. It puts a lot. It does not. When you're like, and that's, by the way, all, that's what got me here is like chip on my shoulder. You don't, you think that motherfucker's better than me. Absolutely. And wanting to get pussy. Without question, the two things that have motivated my success more than anything, at least getting started are those two. But those fuels do not burn clean. And I have switched since switched over, you know, to a different fuel for myself for why and be myself but this guy right now

he's just fuck he's he's out there so you gotta start where you are he's got to start where he is I get that and right now he needs to start burning the unclean fuel just to get a little heat in the fucking in the lab right now the lab is dark

this is a fair point because I would say with the thing that you do that I think is so cool is that you inspire people to light themselves where they are exactly but like you said you gotta pull yourself out the thing, whatever, whatever can motivate you first. Exactly.

You know what I'm saying? You know, everybody, you know, you're fucking squirtles right now. You can be fucking blastoy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just not there yet, dude. You got to evolve over time. Just admit who you are. And that's why this man needs to admit who he is.

And look at this trip as, yes, use that fuel. Don't be a creep. But also just be like, you know what? I'm going on this awesome trip. I'm a fucking broke piece of shit, it sounds like. I get to go to England. it's a once in a lifetime thing. That's a very cool trip, by the way.

Did he say when he was going? Three or four months from now. Okay, so that's the perfect time to go. I was in England. We shop Pagonia in June or whatever the fuck. And I was like, damn, this would be the... You actually want to be in England and Scotland like July and August

where everybody else is hot as fuck. And they're just like 72 degrees. And they're like, it's a heat wave, you know? But that's a beautiful trip. Look at it as like, fuck it. I'm going to get, I'm going to start going on, I'm going to start walking. Just do the stuff you can do. And by the way, you're not, you don't have the time for a full evolution.

This is, you're going to stay squirtle. But you could be, where were the squirtle or were they, who were the squirrel club with the guys of the glasses? You remember, they were like a couple cool squirdles. Do you remember that? No. Were you a Pokemon guy, Mantle? I was in Pokemon.

I believe on the cartoon there was like the squirrel club or some shit. And it was just squirrels wearing sunglasses. Squirtle squad. Squirrel squad. Thank you. I backed into this analogy, but it actually works beautifully. Because right now you're a fucking loser squirrel squirrels, smoking weed. You're a little too fucking fat, right?

The squirrel squads got sunglasses on. They're slight. So you need to become the squirrel squad. You need to be who you are now, but just more confident. And by the way, look at it purely as I don't want to embarrass myself on these heights. Yeah. And I'm about to say, too, yeah. I think like just getting just just getting in a better cardiovascular place than you are right now is good.

And take account for what's cool about you right now. Yeah. Like I think there's so much focus on what you're supposed to change, but I'm pretty sure it's a lot of stuff. Highlight the cool stuff. Yes, I agree. That is cool about you. Get a couple cool fits.

Go to DXL. You're still a DXL. We're not telling you're leaving DXL in three months. Oh, totally. But spend a little cash. Yeah. Get a couple cool fits. Start going on walks in the,

And by the way, it's hard to get weed in Europe. So this is a good motivation to be like, I don't want to be going through fucking withdrawals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to quit now. And if I want to start smoking weed again when I get back, I can. But just look, dude, you actually have a really good opportunity to use this as motivation for a number of different things.

A, again, I think it's a healthy thing to be like, this is still my friend, even if she doesn't want to smash. You clearly have feelings for this person, okay? So being honest with yourself is important. and providing, and look, whether she likes you, she doesn't like you, you want to put your best foot forward, right? So that's motivation one. Two is, this is, he's young, right? Did he say how old he was? He sounds young, right? His worldview is quite young. Something you realize, even in your 30s, is like, oh, there are not unlimited summers. You get like 80 summers, if you're lucky. You're spending one,

this might be the coolest summer of your fucking life. It's eligible. And I'm not saying the rest of you I'm going to suck. I'm saying you're doing something so cool that it's eligible to be the coolest thing you've ever done.

So why not be in a little better shape for it? Why not be ready to enjoy the trip? As somebody who really has had a good time going to different cities, walking around, when I was 300 pounds versus even being 280 now, that 20 fucking pounds is a huge difference.

The first five pounds is a huge difference. The first time you really start walking, you feel it. So I would say, look at it. this, my advice to you to find concrete, to find concrete motivation is just fucking, look at this as not I'm going to lose weight, not I'm going to be the fucking best version of myself, you know, this isn't going to be the best version of you ever.

I want to do, I want to be in as good as shape mentally, physically, going into a cool vacation with someone that I'm going to have, that I have feelings for, that I'm going to have a lot of time to connect and see whether there's anything there, just being the best, be, look at it as just short-term motivation for getting the most out of this vacation. Let that be the start. And wherever it goes, it goes. Absolutely. And this might be a take that I regret. Please. Tell how you feel, man. I agree. Tell how you feel. Don't, don't, don't, don't, no, don't, no, don't, how I would, how long is the trip, Elders, did he say? I don't know if he specified it. But yes, maybe at the end of the trip.

trip. You know what I mean? I don't know that I would lead with that. Maybe I would catch a vibe. Yeah, because now she feels stuck there. Exactly. Now she feels weird. Now she's like, oh, is this a guy? A fucking creep, is he going to try and fuck me? You know, in Dublin or wherever the fuck we're going. I guess he said Scotland

and England. That's Glasgow. I might have been wrong on that. No, no, no. You're not wrong. Ultimately, you do need to tell her how you feel. And you need to be honest with how you feel. Yeah. By the, nobody fucking goes on a two-week hiking trip with their pen pal that they're not trying to fuck. You know what I mean? And I think, you know, you got to realize that's a little dishonest too because she may

proceed the relationship as Platonic. Which, listen, it's, but I think, but it's important to, uh, first thing he's do is be honest with himself. Mm-hmm. Figure out what your real feelings are. And then after you've kind of, you know, taking a couple of practice hikes, he says he's out of breath. Yeah.

fit a couple national parks. You've cut the weed back, if not cut it out completely. Your diet is a little better because, you know, whatever. After that, and then you go on the trip, you have a couple days, you catch a vibe, you feel it out. At the end of the trip, there's nothing wrong with being like, or when it feels right, being like, hey, I'm having a great time, you know, spending this much time together has made me feel, has really made me understand my feelings for you.

And look, at the end of the day, they fucking live across, you know, I don't know He didn't give us a lot of detail about who this person is. But he did mention they used to work together, but that's all we really know. Either way, this is clearly somebody you have feelings for on some level. And I think, don't do it on the first day. Don't fucking go there with a diamond ring in your pocket and try and fucking propose. But feel the vibes out. If it feels right, you can say it earlier.

But I think by the end of the trip, you should. It's important for you to just express yourself. And even if it doesn't go your way, that's fine. She's still your friend. you had a great trip together, and there will be other people that do feel this way about you. Absolutely.

But I like that advice. I think that is good, ultimately. At the end of the day, what we need to do is just be as honest about what we want and our feelings as possible, and that's hard to do. Yeah, and have some faith

that if you being the best version of you, somebody's going to love that version. A hundred percent, without question. Somebody will love the shittier version of you, too. Absolutely. I truly, I fucked the most when I was 340. Yeah. My dick didn't even fucking work.

But I was just kind of trying to fuck as like the way I did everything. Like the way I was addicted to everything of like pills, food, weed, getting, trying to fuck as many girls as will let. Like I was just in such a like addict's mind where it was like, and you will, you can figure it out at the, at your worst. So when you're actually at your, wherever you are, you can find somebody that believes in you. And you can even find people that are on the ups.

You know, you don't need everything to be perfect for you to find. I agree. You know. But anyway, that's our advice, little buddy. We're rooting for you. Honestly, please, please let us know how it goes. This, I would love to even talk to you on a live call because I think there's, there's a lot more that we haven't gotten to here. Absolutely.

This could be, this guy could go in the, in our, he could be another member of the anti-in-cell Hall of Fame. Who did we have, peach farmers in there? Peach farmers in there. And who's the other kid? I forget his name, but he's the man. Remember we talked to him on the road? Oh, yeah, yeah. What the fuck was his name?

We don't know the real names here. I forgot their name. But we know you, but you know who we're talking about. And we do need a couple updates on some of our. The guy who you did trap work on in L.A. years ago. Him too, yeah, of course. Yeah.

All right. I'll just hit us with another one. Hey, stuff. Big fan of the show. So I'll get right to it. Basically, I have a group of college friends. I'm 34.

Really, like, the only time I get to see these guys is about once a year or so whenever someone gets married or we have a bachelor party, something like that. And what's going on now is one of the guys in the group, I found out he's getting married, and I found out because another one of the friends texted me and asked if I was going, and I found out that I didn't get an invite. And basically, my question is, is I am wondering, is it cool? like I changed my email and I changed my phone number about a year ago and I'm wondering, is it cool to kind of ask my other friend who told me about the wedding to kind of like fish around and see if it's possible that maybe like he just like texted the wrong number. You want to go to a wedding? Sent the wrong email.

At the same time, I really don't want to seem like I'm fishing for an invite. I mean, I am a little bummed that I didn't get invited, but, you know, it's his daughtering, and, you know, I respect this decision, and the last thing I'd want to do is be at a thing where I'm not wanted. But I love these guys, and I love hanging out with them whenever I get the opportunity to, and I'd be really bummed, especially if I found out that, you know, it was just a misconnection. To give a little more context, I mean, we're in a fantasy football group together, and we had to, like, remake the group last year because I changed my numbers. So that's the thing. if I think that you probably just didn't invite. But I don't know. I think the feeling that you changed your fucking email and number.

You know, maybe there's some misunderstanding. I don't know. Did you change your fucking address? Just around here a little bit and ask my friend to do a little digging on my behalf is to make sure it's not an understanding or would you just say leave it alone? Leave it along. I appreciate me advice. I mean, leave it alone.

He does the amount of time he's like, first of all, they've contacted you since, right? If you change your number a year ago. And this has never come up with the person who's wedding you want to go to. Yeah. You're not close enough. Leave it along. If you change your number and he didn't realize until it was time for his wedding, that's kind of a bad sign, man.

Yeah. I think you got to leave it along. I think big, you know, I think from my own life experience, you do got to let it be. And you got to be like, hey, it is what it is. because I think any other option, any other option, even if you reach out and they say,

oh, my bad, we forgot, it's still, you still kind of know where y'all relationship. Yeah, sure,

sure. Now, this is funny because I do have friends, too, who have, like, invited people or, like,

been like, I'm not inviting that guy. And then someone will text and be like, hey, man, I'm talking to a bunch of friends who, like, the weddings went out.

And actually, I know somebody who didn't go through a friend, but just texted the guy directly and my friend just folded immediately. And he was like, dude, what? He was like, he got lost. And so like there's a little bit of that.

There's a little bit of social pressure. Now, this is an interesting question because I agree that, I mean, clearly again, this guy's feelings are really hurt. And he can't admit that. Just admit that. That's okay. It's okay for your feelings to be hurt. Anytime you're talking about email or phone number, though,

it's like, oh, she's, it's like, she's probably busy. That's why she's not texting me back. Like, this is the, this is the classic, uh, Trill Withers tweet. Uh, she's just having, she'll text you back, bro. She's just having a little sex. Whatever. Clag. I don't, I want to get the wording just right.

If you could look that up, all this. But it's like, dog. I don't think it's a fucking, it's your email or, your phone number. Now, I will say that. if you trust your friend's sort of spy capabilities, if you trust your friend's ability to get some recon, I don't know that, but it's very, it's very friend specific, right?

And they would have to be very slick with it to not embarrass you. Because I think the odds that this is some kind of misunderstanding are very low. So unless you have like the suavest James Bond-ass friend, who it doesn't seem like you do, I could see trying to figure out what happened here or like, or trying to get, because this is kind of juicy gossip when a friend of, when a friend gets left out of a wedding invite, your friends are going to talk about it.

Like again, if me and Eldis and our friend group of like, you know, five or six friends that are tight, if one of those friends didn't invite one of the others to a wedding, it would be a topic of discussion. You know what I mean? And Eldis did have a very small wedding. And people's feelings didn't get hurt really, but it was funny to joke about who got invited and who didn't.

And, you know, in our, in the company, and Stobby Baby Enterprise in particular. It was funny. Eldis invited one of our coworkers at, as a joke, an hour, remember, we sent him the invite an hour before the wedding. Like, hey, man, I really hope you can make it a little last minute ceremony, which was funny as hell. So I think there is a way to do.

to at least figure out what happened, because there is some explanation here. And the explanation is, misunderstanding I would put it 4%. And that's pretty generous, right? Let's say it's a solid, let's give you 5%. But the other options, the devastating options are,

he doesn't really like you that much, right? Then the other thing is the partner, right? Like she's just like, I don't fucking want this guy there. or what probably happened is they probably don't have that many spots and they just, you made the long list, but when it was time to make some difficult cuts, the guy, the two guys we like least in fantasy football,

they're the ones who get cut from the wedding, right? Yeah. Probably what it is, is actually the most devastating thing, which is not he has some secret hatred for you or that he's harboring some secret or that his wife secretly hates you. It's actually a little more devastating. Just be, realize you're a B minus C plus friend in this guy's life. And he doesn't even not want you around.

You might even get invited to the bachelor party. You might get invited to the auxiliary back. You don't get to stay in the house, but you get to go to top golf or whatever the fuck, right? That's probably what's happening. So do I think doing a little recon is the worst thing in the world? No. I just think realistically, brace yourself for the fact that you just didn't make the cut. whatever happens from there, happens from there,

I say, you know, does this shed some light on your relationships? Do the people you find to be your close friends not think of you that way? Yeah, this is a moment of reflection for that. For sure. And I do feel like, man, but that's the thing too. I'm like, does he really benefit from that investigation though? No, he doesn't benefit from it.

You know what I'm saying? Because I'm like, I feel like, I think you could just take it for what it is. And then like you said, put more into the relationships that you, that you see, I guess, like, a more fruitful bond with. You know what I'm saying? Sure. You can get down to the nitty gritty and be like, well, one time in the fantasy football, I said his hairline was crooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can figure that out.

Or you can be like all this cat wife don't like me. Or like you said, you was out of the cut. But none of those things fixed the issue, which is you thought you was closer with somebody that you wanted. That's a good point. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's a good point. And yeah, maybe if you want to have it. Now, the Zen approach has been like, oh, okay, they didn't have room.

Who cares? And you don't let that affect you at all. Yeah. Which I think is probably the best thing to do. And he might even grow to regret not inviting you. Oh, is that Norman? I don't know. Yeah.

Next week, Mark Norman will be. Yeah, we'll be. Yeah, he's getting here early. We're going to hang out for a week straight so that we have really good chemistry on the pod. Well, I guess that's going to do it for us. We're having such a fun time. Come on in. What's up, buddy?

Yep. Thank you. So, yeah, Mark's here for a week. We're going to hang out and really get in the zone for next week's episode. But, yeah, I think we figured out with that guy. Yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, don't invite your phone. You got to take a piss, dude.

Go, go in there. Yeah. Mandel, thanks for coming, brother. Thanks for having me. This is so fun. I enjoy this program a lot. Yeah. You're well, you're, we'll have you back.

Absolutely. And we will do the tournament of the dessert. We got to come up with the right acronym. The dessert tournament. The dessert tournament. The D.T. We got it. D&T is a nice beginning and end.

Yeah. To dart, can we do dessert, appreciation? We'll figure it out. DART is cool. Something fat, something that sounds delicious. Anyway, we're not going to come on with it right now. But happy 420, everyone. Legalize it, you know?

Keep playing two joints by Sublime. Yeah. If you rock a were reefer, go hang. Do you read for thine? That's right. That's right. Do the re-for-time. What should we plug?

What should we plug here? Shoot. Five Mandel online. We'll fucking... Yeah, go. The Big Fun Network on YouTube. Love that. I got a program called Big Biz.

Watch that. Really funny. Very funny videos. Big Biz videos. Finding out with me and Rob Hayes. Oh, hell yeah. I love Rob. And yeah.

That's it right now. Hell yeah. Check out Mandle, one of the funniest guys. And we will talk to you guys next week. Bye-bye. Woo!