Stavvy's World - #179 - Bonnie McFarlane

Episode Date: May 4, 2026

Bonnie McFarlane returns to the pod to discuss growing up poor in rural Canada, the importance of having a prize-winning pig at the county fair, how she went from farm girl to vegan, her daughter finding her name in the Epstein files, social media journalists, the beauty and importance of live shows, the camaraderie of comments, and much more. Bonnie and Stav help callers including a woman who's concerned that her 10-year-old brother is becoming a mean, YouTube-addicted brat, and a woman who's wondering if she should return the laptop and iPhone that were gifted to her by the man she's been dating for two months.   Follow Bonnie McFarlane on social media:   https://www.instagram.com/bonniemcfarlane/   Thanks to our sponsors!!   Aura Frames - https://auraframes.com/ use code STAVVY to get $25 off the Carver Mat Frame   Visible - https://www.visible.com/ use code FRESH START to get a Visible plan for $20/month for one year   ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!   🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets   ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stopwis World 904-800 stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. On the couch, returning is Bonnie McFarlane. Beloved Fred, I think, yeah, right there. Beloved Friend of the Pod. You did like maybe the fourth. You did such an early episode, I'm realizing. Of this?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you did. I didn't even saw a clip. I thought you didn't post it. I think it was just we didn't know what we were doing when we started. But don't worry. You can get. I did get a sandwich.

That's right. No, no. And I said, no, eat before you go. You can't rely on that. But I fully expected. Fuck, I feel so bad. I saw you with the coffee. I was like, then you drank out of it. Damn, you know, you know, and this is tough because this is just prejudice. I think being vegan is what killed you here. Because I considered just picking up some. You got me a vegan sales last time. I know, I'm a piece of shit. You were like so thoughtful.

I know. That's when we, Eldis, don't fucking boo me, you piece of shit. No, the last time I did it, I was so. so hungry and you let me eat half of it before we started the, I was like, this is a dream. Are you hungry now? Elders, can you get on Uber Eats? I ate on the way here. I said, okay. I've learned to not. That breaks for her.

I've been very long time. You don't rely on others. Of course. On kindness, even from your friends who are asking you to do a favor because they have to bank a bunch of podcasts before, before shooting a special. But, you know, I don't know if this is because of who my husband is or just because I'm like, you know, old and but when men are nice to me, I

I'm so appreciative. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I have a joke if I act about it, but a guy put my suitcase in the overhead. And I like started weeping because they curled up in his lap. But it is true. I get so

like I become, because I just think like the way men are, I don't have a, it's like I always think like if I had a lot of testosterone. I'd probably be acting the same way. Like, you're basically just reacting to whatever chemicals are going on in your body. So I understand they're looking for something that I'm not.

Right, right, right, right. So then when they do land on me and they're nice, I... Wait, what do you mean they're looking for something? What do you mean they're looking for something that you are not? I mean, they can't be nice to someone. I don't know. I always just think, like, my dad's an amazing human, by the way. I shouldn't have this thought.

Is it? Is it because, like, I am curious because everything about, kind of your life says horrible father. No, I know. I know. I know. A woman who gets into stand-up comedy and marries rich boss, no disrespect. It seems like her dad abandoned the family.

I know it looks like it, but I've thought a lot about it. Yeah, yeah. And it's actually the opposite. It's like I don't have issues with men. My dad's very nice, kind, funny, like, masculine guy. Yeah. And so I don't, I just was like, I just, I know this sounds crazy, but I just, I really like men based on how comedic they are.

Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. 90% of the time. It's just like a matching of the minds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. When women are like, oh, he's hot, I don't even know what that is. Interesting, interesting. Like, you know, there's somebody who works at the stand all the time that women are constantly like, oh my God, he's so hot. Yeah.

And I do. I can, I physically see that if I was casting something where you need a hot, But there's nothing goes, bing, ding. Really? So you were always, wow, that's fascinating. So you're basically the type of woman is the reason stand-up comedy exists. Yes. It's like, the fact that, like, someone could impress girls like you, it's like, oh, nice.

I guess this is an art form, and I'm going to dedicate my life to it. Literally the reason I did stand-up. I mean, obviously, I wanted to be funny, but it was like, even growing up when you get it, the only way I got attention was just, like, being fun. Right, right. And it's like, and you just continue that. But that is interesting. So you never, you, like, what was the first, did you, what was like the first serious

relationship year? What was that guy like? We're talking Canada. He was a bartender, yeah, Canadian. You also grew up, like, in a barn, basically. Yes, very. You're, you're, yeah, it's kind of crazy. You guys should read Bonnie's memoir because it is, because we had met before I read it.

But I didn't know, we weren't like good friends, but at that point anyway. But I was like, oh, let me just. I was also a comedy nerd. And I was like, what the fuck? You're like, like, you're like, you're literally living in a little house.

I was like, is this a joke? It is. I honestly for a second was like, is this a bitch? It's a meta narrative. Yes. Because you grew like,

no, there's like no electricity. No, listen to me. When people, like, when people from other cultures yeah,

yeah, yeah. Are like, we were a poor. I'm always like, uh, no, truly I feel like I can't say I was poor. because of reading your book

and I grew up in Baltimore in the 90s and I was like I had it better than fucking Bonnie We it's a different kind of poor We grew up poor like Like in the sticks Yeah yeah yeah Growing our own food

That's insane Like 1800s poor No you lived You literally started your life You're a time traveler Basically You're literally a time traveler And I think it's amazing that people can't

Like I'm not a hick Yeah yeah not at all I would have no You would not My mother is very educated. Right, right, right. Interesting. It's really, I thought a lot about this because my parent, because it's hard to get out of being poor. Yeah, for sure.

Especially in that kind of thing where they're not like, they're farmers and my mom's a teacher. Yeah, what's going to happen? They make a certain amount of money and that's that and, you know, whatever. You're not going to randomly grow eight times. A piece of corn isn't going to go viral and lead your corn sales through the roof. Your mom's not going to teach one dumb kid. You're not going to make one dumb kid a genius. Now she gets a million dollars.

Yes. Yeah. No, we, we did pretty well at the county fair a couple of times. Yeah, if you don't have a standout pig, you're fucked. If you're pig, it's so crazy that your life was affected by your livestock's performance at the county fair. The McFarland's had a great year when a fucking donkey won. Well, it is weird because you go, that's how, like. Wow, can we have real?

Can we have caramel? No. Can we have sugar, mom? On Christmas, everyone just gets a spoonful of maple syrup. Mmm, it's, oh, man, it's not even my birthday, Mom. But see, this is where, okay, this is where your poriness is projecting. We had all the food we wanted. There was no short, I mean, it was all home-made.

Of course. Even the ketchup was homemade. Wow. Everything was homemade. But it was, like, in abundance. We had a lot. Okay, that's cool. I like that.

Yeah. And what are we? The poorness was really just like we, my mom made a lot of our clothes. Right. It was, it was like. We didn't have running water. That was the big thing. I mean, that's insane.

I didn't even. For a long time. For a long time. Wow. You have, you literally, you an eldest who was an Albanian refugee. Yes. Had this had a very similar first year of life. Because my parents were poor and they, their house burned down before I was born.

Then they had to live in a. trailer for Wawa they were and so it just took a long time to get it all of course going and they would they my my parents never had a credit card until probably the 90s that's awesome you got to respect that too because it is like I do I guess on some level that is I mean that's is that their choice to live that way well because they're they're they're they're I don't know it's so weird they're both from and what part of can are we talking about here we're talking northern Alberta okay which is another thing that like I mean obviously people move there before there's electricity, but who moves to the coldest climate?

It goes, it's nine months of wind. We'll be all right. We'll make it. We'll make it. You got 10 toes. You'll be fine. Irish? What the fuck?

Where do they come from? Damn. Irish is Scottish. Is this straight potato famine shit where they're like, we'll take you to the tundra? They did not care about being poor. They cared about having character. Yeah. They were like those kind of people.

That's like a fuck of the earth. That's the kind of like media. the kind of media like the kind of media like fucking John Wayne was raised on it describes your father basically like he was reading books about guys like your dad like because my dad

he was really good at like you know breaking horses and riding horses and he would take us sometimes we were little and put us in front his arms like this so we wouldn't fall and go round up cows and it was the scariest thing because the horse would be

Sometimes, like, you'd be like, it's parallel to the ground, almost. It's, like, going at such a, going so fast. Because he's, like, trying to, fucking corral the cows. He was just able to do it, you know? Like, more men are like that now. No, are you kidding me? I'm married Rich Voss. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, he fixes everything of electrical things. If you want to haggle, like, over a fake silver jewelry, I'm sure you could get, I'm sure if you would go to a pawn shop and want a diamond, a horseshoe pinky ring, rich could get you a great deal on it. I always think like, why? It is weird. I did, you know, and it's not like I was like, I guess I'll get married, Rich Fuss.

I was in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, rough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like happy to be doing it. Right. I was excited. I wasn't like, well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The clock's ticking, I guess. You were head over heels. But I think it's because he was so different. Totally. From my family. Because also, there's no bragging. It's like modesty times a thousand in my family. Okay.

So Rich told me on our first date that we ever went on. He goes, I'm an amazing comedian. So basically, you're just gullible. Your family didn't raise you to like distrust men or double fact check people's statements. And you're like, oh, wow, I'm marrying the greatest comedian who's ever lived. Well, I will say this. He was really funny. No, he's very, of course.

I mean, at the time, I did marry the. funniest person at that time. Voss is hysterical. He's literally he'll say things that are, and also because you can say anything to him and it's not going to, there's no being offended. That is actually, in a real way. It's like, because like, you know, Voss Online is one of those who are like,

all right, I can't look at this. Yes. Because this isn't the guy I'm friends with. I'm muted him. His own wife, he's not, he's not allowed to come and talk. Like, there's certain words that. Because I can't do it for that long. Like he'll tell me things that happened that against his people.

Okay. And then I really do try to get in a place of like, I understand where he's coming from and all that, but I can only do it for so long. Of course. Well, I will, let's say much better comedian than geopolitical analysts. We will say that about Rich Balls. It's not even close.

I don't want to talk to a joke, but I think he's addicted to his identity. It's not really, he is all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Bonnie, save it for actual therapy. Let's get back to you. I don't believe in actual therapy. Okay. Now it's starting to make sense.

This kind of craziness that Rich Voss has that I've, sometimes I want to fix. Okay. Then I go, no. That's, he's built his whole life on this. Right, right, right. This is what makes him funny and who he is. Of course. Also, no disrespect.

It's the clocks, the deadlines taking on any, making any changes. Believe me, I've had to, I've had some come to Jesus moments on that. Wow. Yeah, that is. Radical acceptance. Here we go. It is really interesting to think about somebody growing up, like, what we're talking about is, like, the pure. It's like, you kind of are me.

Your existence is kind of an argument. This is like what right-wing Manosphere guys are saying where it's like, our beautiful farm girls are being tricked by drug using Jews in the big cities.

Crack addict Jews are stealing our Scotch Irish farm girls. They're like, keep them in the farm. But I guess it's like... But I do, but because I have that training, like I, you know, my daughter's now in college. So, you know, I literally, I went from doing everything all the time to doing nothing.

Ooh. I literally do nothing. I, we have like cleaners come in. I don't make anybody's dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just make mine. Totally, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Rich will sometimes get upset about it, you know, or whatever. But I always, when Rich is upset about the division of labor, I always go, because he's, because he's basically getting upset by, he thinks that he's doing the same amount as me. But really, I was doing so much more. Right, right, right. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, you were working three jobs. Yes.

And then two are gone. And now you have one job. He has one job. But it's like, hey, what the hell? You're working two less jobs. I'm working the same amount of jobs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I understand that.

But he thinks, like, I always say, like, what if it was like, because if I make dinner, then I have to clean it up to. Yeah. I go, I go, what if you? I love that you're like, can I fix his fundamental problems? You can't even figure out dishes. I know. Versus you can't even figure out splitting dishes and cooking.

No, but it is true. He'll argue as hard. Yeah, yeah. About not doing dishes as he will in favor of Netanyahu. He's like, that's his real passion. Of course. Just the argument. That actually makes someone addicted to arguing.

Yeah. Genocide is like the most. high, the most primo shit. It's like pure uncut rage and like you can really get in deep. And I bet you were saying a lot of that for a lot of people right now. That's what I think is happening for a lot of people.

They already have the rage inside them and now they have something they can place it on. Yeah, it's kind of like the extension of like road rage was like actual physical. Everyone is so isolated. And then when they finally interact, you see these violent outbursts because our society is so fucking atomized and you don't ever think of yourself in a community.

And now it's like we, I guess there, it is kind of like all this fucking online trolling shit or just arguing is an extension of that. Everyone is even, it's even more than road rage. You don't even see the person in your car. You're just on your phone on your fucking computer. But it's the same thing where it's like, let's up the stakes. Yeah. Let's go from a, like, you know, a fender bender to pulling a gun out on the highway. And now it's like, let's accuse these people of being rapists.

And by the way, a lot of them actually are. That's kind of the hard part. It's when you're arguing with literal pedophile apologists. And you're like, fine. I mean, I don't know what to tell you, man. You're on the side of pure evil. But that's neither here nor there. Let's talk.

Do you ever get the desire to, we went through a lot? Do you ever get the desire to like make an apple pie all day like it's bad, like you're a seven? You know, it? I do, do some soups. I love that. Yeah. You know, I mean, my family stopped speaking to me when I went vegan.

But, um. Yeah, I mean, there's no way to even get... When did you even conceptualize vegetarianism? Because... Oh, no, very early. Oh, really? This is... Because you're on a farm and you're falling in love with the animals?

I was in charge of every... I don't know, because I wanted my dad's approval, I guess. I would always choose to kill the chickens. That would be... Also, I didn't like chickens. Okay, me neither. So you have to cut the heads off chickens. So I would do that.

And I remember, like, Sort of like dealing with some internal conflicts. And this is how old are you? I'm probably between eight and 15. Awesome. A fucking eight-year-old getting a fucking machete down on a chicken's neck. It's so easy. You get a wire coat hanger and you straighten it and then you put a like a hook on it.

Like you're going to get a car door open. And then you go in and it'll grab one of the legs. Right? So you go in like that and the leg gets in and can't get out. And then you just throw it down on the block and in your other hand. So you throw it down. Yep. And the other head you have this little axe.

Boom. Hell yeah. And sometimes you miss and you just get half their head. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Things get ugly. And chicken brains must be small as hell, huh? And, uh, yeah.

They got to be so little. They're disgusting animals. They're so gross. I can't believe people eat them. Well, they're pretty tasty. But yeah, they are gross. They're full of like, light. Nice and grossness.

Yeah, and they flap around and everything gets... So, but you... So then the first thing was discussed? So then one time I said... So you were grossed out by the chicken? Is that why you didn't... No, that time I wasn't really grossed out. It just was like thinking about things.

And I remember at dinner, I don't even remember why I brought it up. I just said one time... And it was probably like 10 or 11. I said, uh... I go, isn't it weird that we haven't evolved? By the way, I'm eating meat at this time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go, isn't it weird that we didn't evolve?

past eating meat. And it was like I just told the whole family evolution is not real. Yeah. Flip table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, this is our life. Oh, wow.

So that really meat eating, are you serious about them not, not they cut you off when you didn't eat? No, no, no, no, okay. They do a little bit. But they were pissed at you. You must have always been the weird one in the family, right? Does everybody else still on the farm?

What are they doing? Yeah, they live in Canada. They're very like, my sister works, she's ahead of a charity. And my sister is on the school board or whatever. Yeah. They're very successful. Yeah, yeah. And they still, like, they plant garden.

They're very, they're always sending these pictures. It's so funny. They always send these pictures of, like, they'll make, like, 80 jars of, like, tomato something, salsa. and, you know, send the pictures of all the jars neatly done. You're like, that took days to do. But they got salsa for the year. Yeah, but they do it all the time.

Then the next weekend it'll be pickles. It'll be whatever. And, you know. Yeah. There is something to just... I'm like, you guys look to my stories. Yeah. Sometimes...

I bought new shoes. I didn't make them at all. I could, if something happens to them. I'm fucked. But I sometimes I do think the happy. you are is when you're just kind of like filling your time up with existing and filling your time up with like

just doing everything you're doing the best way you can and not worrying about what comes next and like you know. That's what this consciousness podcast was talking about that the best thing because they're saying consciousness is outside of your body or at least that's a working theory that they have

and so you've got to your brain is actually just a like, what do you call it? Like a radio thing. An antenna? Yes, it just picks up. It picks up consciousness. It picks up consciousness.

The thoughts and the consciousness. Oh, that's fascinating. And so the best place. From fucking where? Where the fuck is my consciousness? It's here. It's all over. It's all over.

It's just that it's because, like, have you ever done ayahuasca or anything? No. I've done mushrooms, but nothing. Well, they're saying like basically you're somewhere, you have a very small hole opening. for consciousness. Okay.

Because you can't handle it. You can't handle all the consciousness. I love. You can't handle everything. You can only just see what you're... Just a little bit. Instead of having... You're talking about being essentially an omniscient narrator for it in the entirety of existence.

We would, our brains would explode if we had that ability. Yeah, you couldn't get all the impression. So they give us one POV. But then when you take ayahuasca or mushrooms, it opens it a little bit more. So that's why there's more. for your brain. Or you can see other entities or whatever. Because it's...

Yeah. It's not one place in time. It's everything. Oh, it's everything that's ever happened. Yes. Interesting. I don't think that is true at all. Or I don't really follow.

It's fun to think about, but I just think we just have something in our brain, you know? But don't you think when you're on stage because this is the only reason I'm interested is just because I'm always like... For the craft. Yeah. I mean, the other reason I'm spiritual is because it,

It mirrors stuff that you do on stage. It's so fucking funny. And I mean, you talk about how you're attracted to, like, people who are funny. And, like, all you think about spirituality because of stand-up. And I want to make fun of you, but I'm made the exact same way. Where it's like, I want to, but I'm like, it is pathetic. Sometimes I think, like, how much, and we're making fun of Rich for his being identity. But it's like, my identity is comedian.

Yes. Straight up, the more I think about it, the more, and I'm getting these, you know, it's like, what do I want to be? What do I want to do? And I'm like, I really just want to, I just, I'll do other shit. You put me in more fucking Oscar movies. I'll be in more Oscar movies. But what I love and what I think about is stand-up.

And it is very funny because I've had that same thought about like, not, I mentioned to hear your take about the like consciousness thing. But for me, it's more about stand-up is opening me up to energy. Like, because I do think sometimes, especially on this hour, which by now has been recorded and we're very happy with it. It all went great. Everything. No problems whatsoever. But.

You're right. It's recorded the next day. Somebody goes, hey, I thought of a tag where that shows. I'm so pit. Yeah. I will kill you. It sucks because also something has happened to me now where I'm done. Like, we went on this bus run. And okay, in actuality, we'll be, we'll level with you folks. This comes out right after the special, so it doesn't really matter. I, we're about to do the special.

And I just went on a bus run. And the last day of the last bus run, I was like, I love the order. I love everything. Like, this is great. Or maybe like there was three, the second to last show, I was like, locked in. This is exactly how I want to do it. Maybe. You know, obviously you play with wording here or there.

But I'm like, it's locked in. And the second I locked in and I was like, I'm committed to this, it was the most fun thing in the world. And it became fun again. Yes. And now I'm like, wait, I have to record this and never do. it again after it. Like, it's, it's, we've just, I've just started. Now I'm in a place of fun with it.

Right. It's like, I know it works. And now it's like, let's explore. Let's see. And I'm like, I know if I have even two more months, it would be better. But you can't, you'll drive yourself crazy constantly. Right. You know, but yeah, anyway.

So I, I really have gotten onto that words. I'm like, because like, I, some of the, the hour's gotten so much better in the last two weeks. And it's not even about, it's really about how I say certain things. or my facial expressions, or how quickly coming off the end of another joke I get into, or the way I get into my setup.

The setup's everything. In between. And it's like, and it's just like, I'm like this, if I read these words, and this is me, it's not like I'm giving somebody else do my act.

Just me by degrees this much has made the hour so much better. And I'm like, and that's a thousand people. It's not like I'm like kind of pushing one person's button. A collective crowd, has some kind of identity, which is bizarre. All that can be is energy,

and I'm like, that, so anyway, that has got me. But it's because the energy of you going, ah, yeah, got it. That projects to them somehow. And it just, it just opened me up to like being like, to thinking many things that we don't,

that we think are inconsequential matters so, so much and we have no idea about what actually matters. That's why I think like, don't, I mean, I have a joke about it in my act, but it's like, don't talk about your trauma so much because that trauma leakage is what art is. You know what I mean?

So just let it. Let it out, yeah, I fully agree. I really try to let my subconscious, because you're subconscious, like if you, you ever read a joke and you use the word cabbage for no fucking reason? Do you know what I mean? Or whatever.

And it gets a huge laugh. And then later you think about it and you go, why am I saying that? Let me put something in that actually makes sense in some way and that it never gets the laugh. It's because your subconscious knows what it's doing at times, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So.

Yeah, subconscious is a whole other thing that I think, I really believe in that. Well, this is what I think happens on stage when you're doing crowd work. Like, I'm as interested to find out what's going to come out as anyone. Like, I don't know what's happening. I'm not sitting there thinking, like, I'm going to talk to this person. I'm going to ask him what his job is. He's going to tell me construction.

And then I have these three jokes that I'm going to say about construction. I've no idea what's going to happen. And I don't, I'm not scared of it. And I don't care if it works or not. Exactly. So then it's like easy to just go in there and just. let this thing do its job. I know I sound like I'm so crazy.

No, I actually know what you mean on this where I think in particular, because I'm the same way with crowdwork, it's like sometimes shit just doesn't work, but that's not, I'm not looking to kill, I'm looking to have an interesting interaction with someone. And if you're, and there's something,

there's something interesting from a performance standpoint for the audience, I think, or just again, energetically where it's like, we are all, because the fun of stand-up usually is, or a joke is just you trick. It's basically a trick.

People think it's going one way. It goes another way. We're all now eligible to be tricked or delighted or surprised. Even me. It does become, even the performer when I say me, it does become like a collective thing where now we're all waiting to see what happens. And that's kind of fun. And maybe that's a little bit of the secret to the fucking why a bunch of my bullshit

crowdwork stuff was going viral, you know, two or three years ago. Because it was, that was the energy for me. It was like, let's see what the fuck happens. This lunatic, you know? No, but online, I do see a certain thing that works. And it's like, now I'm going to get, do I like too crazy? No, it's all good, go crazy. I can see like.

And I can tell they're sending me subliminal messages through their crowdwork clips. I mean, they're telling me to assassinate Benjamin Netanyahu. I'm going to go with Rich to Israel. I'm what they call the honeypot or whatever. I don't know if you're going to beat Israel at the Honeypot game. They got that boy Cash Patel in a fucking blender right now. He's drunk as fuck. He's just don't understand what's happening.

He's fucking his Mossad issued girlfriend and they can't find him anywhere. Anyway, whatever. What's the insane thing you were going to say? No, I don't remember. Oh, that's okay. I don't remember what we're talking about. It's interesting, though, because what you're talking about is you kind of have, it almost feels like almost like benevolent rebellion.

Where it doesn't seem like you were, were you like a fuck you mom and dad kid when you left? Or were you just like, you know what? I want to go to a city. Yes. I was definitely like, I wasn't like fuck you mom and dad. But I did spend a lot of time. They were angry at me a lot. Yeah, yeah, of course.

They didn't understand you probably. I kept bringing up like, why did you guys choose this? Like I didn't understand. Like, I love my parents. I really do. And I always have. They're very, they're lovely, lovely people. Yeah.

But they were born there, right? No. Well, they were born into this kind of life. Right. But they moved from Saskatchewan to Alberta. And, uh... Saskatchewan was like the happening metropolis. Well, people...

That's the one that you wish you grew up in. Yes. That's fucking crazy. They, because Saskatchewan was like a farming... It was southern Saskatchewan. It was a little warmer and it was a farming community. We moved to like... The Miami of Canada is Saskatchewan.

Yes. Yes. Yes. It gets up to zero. Yes. It gets up to zero here. I'm in my short sleeves. Yes.

I don't know. They like hard things. I guess they feel good about, like we, and I wrote, I wrote about this in my book. Of course, check it out. They would play, we'd play board games after a long day of work. And a lot of times, we had a lot of board games to choose from, but a lot of times, whoever was in charge of choosing the board game would choose the game farm. Okay?

So you're literally farming all day. And I would be like, what, guys, what are we doing? And they'd be like, do you want to sell your pigs or not? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll, roll. And it's like, I just had this. I always think of like, I have like an irony detector or something. And then like I would bring stuff up.

That is funny. Yeah, yeah. To be like, you know understand this is objectively funny. Right. That we just milked cows for fucking 12 hours. And now we're rolling a. dice to see how many cows we milked, how many fake cows we milked? Yes, yes.

But they were just, but again, I guess it's like, that is how most people lived for until now. I think they like to make their world small. Then it feels safer. Right, exactly. And you know those things and you're very like. But also, it's safer, but it's also. Well, we're doing it with comedy. I envy that.

Like, there is something to that where I'm like, wait, that is just how you should live. Right. Because even the, and maybe it's a cop out for how much we see where it's like being aware of what everyone in the world is doing is so clearly bad for you. And it's like what is, and then you get into these existential questions of what is the purpose of existence. And it's like, is it just to have a fucking, to just raise? Because on some level you could say that exactly how your parents lived or chose to live because it sounds like it was a consciousness. decision to almost to go back, to kind of turn the clocks back and be like, we don't appreciate how society is going.

But my dad would have, my dad was the primary engine for that. He wanted to live off the grid. He didn't want government taking his guns or, you know, like. And you see, you understand that because you're just like, especially, you know, even as somebody who I think I would probably like to do a simpler version of a more communal style of living, Like I like, but I'd like to go back to something more, you know, kind of more simple. But it's like you get what you get where that's coming from because you're like you said, you report, but you had food.

You did everything you needed to do. Yes. You could do without, you know, without. And you had to learn this lesson of like, well, you just had to like, there was no trying harder than you'd normally try because the weather was just going to be what the weather was. Do you know what I mean? Yes. So you just had to be like, well, If it doesn't freeze early, we'll be able to go on vacation.

You know what I mean? Right. Or whatever. There's no ifs. There's just what is. Yes. There is no working in theoretical. There's just we have to get these things done.

Yes. And I think that's a freeing thing. There is the argument that we just have, having anxiety is fake. You know, because it's like we never should be in a position to think for longer than, you know, an hour. Because most of humanity. People don't think and that's why they get anxiety. society too. Like, you know, I was thinking about the other day, like, you just never see anyone sitting around thinking.

Yeah. You never see it. Yeah, yeah. Like, and I was thinking, like, it's kind of funny because if you did see, you'd be like, wow, that's amazing. Like that person who's just sitting there. That's a philosopher. Yes. But in the olden days, people would be like, get up and do something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The way now watching a movie feels like being, like, oh, I'm off my phone. Yes, yes. I watched a bigger screen. Like, you could just sit there and do nothing and people are like, wow. But that's true. People sit on playing. now and they raw dog in.

The raw dog. I don't appreciate that. I love a plane because it's, it feels like the one place you're allowed to turn your brain off. Yes, that's what I just scroll. I scroll play. I love getting stupid mini games. Like playing, you know, plants versus zombies.

Yes, yes. Some kind of bullshit game. Water sort. Water sort. Okay, I'll check it out. But I, but yeah, I don't know. There is, sometimes I do think, I think my, like my fake idealized version of simple,

stuff is like beachside, like, you know, Greek island like just fucking fishing. You know what I mean? But I know what I'm imagining is basically a vacation. It's not, when you actually have to live that way, it sounds horrible. Okay, but my dad loved it. Like his passion was getting up, being with animals, like, you know, tasting the dirt to see what the acidity was or whatever the fuck he did. You know what I mean? There's like he just,

he really loved it. So it wasn't really work to him in that way. It was just being. Like people will pay, you know, in my town, my friend sent her daughter to this thing where you pay to go work on a farm. I was like,

I gotta tell my parents. You gotta tell you. Your parents would be like, are you fucking kidding me? But it's like, because we do actually like crave that. It's like you said, before when you're just doing something sort of like with your hands and your brain's going like

even just walking your dog in the woods it's like it's it's so therapeutic but even my version of like I kind of there was like a period of the pandemic that I liked because you kind of had once you could go outside again and you could shop again right it became it became like fill up your days with meaning instead of going crazy yes and I I there was like a six month period where I lived like a housewife from the 40s where I went to I went to the butcher I went to the fresh produce market I cleaned every morning

I cleaned you know what I mean and I planned out my stuff and I worked like and I was just like even though shopping for the day took me three hours because I went to fucking I walked across the entire neighborhood I could have gone to a supermarket I could have ordered if we're being honest but it was like I

that's as close as I'll ever get to farming is going to three different stores for fucking Going to the farmers market. Going to two different farmers markets, to me, counts as farming as working the earth, as opposed to just being like 40 chicken wings. You know, like, to me, that felt like me reconnecting. So I guess it's all relative. If you're a city hick. But I do think that's like something. Totally. Whatever your version of it is, I think everybody kind of wants to go to turn it back a little bit. Yes. I think we're at the first point in society and like, well, I don't know. This is what's probably. podcasting for than making completely insane claims you haven't even thought about for one second. You're just on a roll with your friend in your living room.

You know what I think about society? Yeah. But I think we're at the first, and maybe this is not true because there were probably people who were scared of the future. But at least for me, and maybe there's just getting old. I don't know. It does feel like the future is scary. Or when people think of the future kind of across the board, no one's that pumped.

Like there's not like the, there's no optimism. There's no like, like when I was growing up, it was like, we're going to have fucking flying cars and computers that, and we can look at it's on the moon. Yeah, yeah. And now it's like, and now it's like, oh, actually, you never even have to have conscious thought. Right.

You can just ask. Yes. Your phone will tell you're handsome and a genius. Yes. And it will order your food for you. And it'll take, it'll take that pesky problem of thought, of, of, of, you want to talk about conscious? Now people are surrendering their consciousness to a shitty.

The one thing they've done. It's not even working. It's not even working. It's like it doesn't do anything. Anyway, so it's like I do feel like there is a huge across the board no matter who, what type of person you are. Because I feel like I want to become a Luddite and I'm a, I've lived in a city my whole, I've lived in Baltimore and I moved to New York. And even when I could have left and gone anywhere like last year, I was like, no, fuck it. I'm staying in New York because I thought about any place I wanted to live in America back home.

home, Austin, L.A., wherever the fuck. And I was like, no, it's expensive, but I fucking love it. I love being around this many people. But even me, somebody who, objectively, would die if the grid collapses, I'm not farming, I'm not doing anything. Even I want to be like, I need to go fucking be in the nature for like, you got to get a little nature. I should have to earn something.

Like, I should have to at least cook my meal. I should at least have to go buy it. You know what I mean? Even if I'm not fucking, you know, farming. or whatever, but I don't know. I do think, I mean, this is crazy because I'm a vegan, but I think, like, if, I think people should have to go kill their own food every once in a while. I agree.

I just think, like, you need that connection of what you're doing. Because, like, the chicken wings thing, I think about this. It's like, people will order a fucking plate of chicken wings and eat four of them. And I'm like, that's 15 fucking chickens right there that you just killed for what? So you could just have the smell at your table? How many? Between me and elders, there have been, there have been evenings where 80 chickens have die perished to feed our to feed me and my friends one night. And you're not thinking about it.

No. And I'm not saying don't. I'm not telling anyone to eat meat or not eat me. That's not my thing. I'm just saying like just think about it once in a while. Like this is, this was a living thing. Like at least have appreciation. You're like, thank you, man.

That that's giving your brain some juice that it needs to go out in the world and do some good or something. Of course. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. To do some good. I know. Even though. Yeah.

It is an astounding number of, I think that's why, I think, and you know what's funny, though, I looked into this, I think even worse than that is chicken feet. Because in China, it crushes chicken feet. And I think that's part of, I was reading something, again, we're just doing classic podcast. It's like, I think I remember this. Where it's like, even part of why chicken wings are viable is because there's so much waste from chicken feet that they kind of go hand in hand. where it's like, really? Really?

Like, the way we fucking crush wings. Wow. And is it, what do you got there? Producer Elders? Anything? God forbid you fucking know

how to Google, you piece of shit. It is so weird when you're like, what is the most common food? It's chicken feet. Yeah, yeah.

It's just not that, yeah. America is not driving that. I mean, they still eat dog meat in certain. Yeah, yeah.

I remember it's fucking crazy. But I don't, I don't see, like, people won't eat dog because they have a dog in their house or in their life and they go, oh, that's... If it was delicious, I would eat dog, I don't fucking care. Well, people always say that they go, I can't stop eating meat, it's so good.

I'm like, what a baby tasted that good? Would you eat it? Probably. A lot of people apparently do. I mean, our society is run by people who would fuck babies. Is it eat that much... Like, truly, when you start fucking babies, is eat that much different?

It's funny. I mean, and we are just ruled by them and there's nothing we can do about it. Like still, right now, they're just not releasing the full Epstein file. I think, I don't get why any of it got released at all. If the elites are in charge,

why would they let it go to this level even? Because they're trying to, what the fuck are they covering up? I think they're using like, we're all pedophiles as the distraction. I know, I know. I know. Sometimes I'm like, because there's also,

you'll just see online where it's like, another scientist has been killed. Again, I don't know if that's true or not. I know. I've done no research. These are all actors. I guess they are. But how funny would it be if Trump was like a martyr

who had to pretend to be a pedophile to save us from an alien invasion or something? Like what if they're, because they keep talking about people who have made connections to aliens keep getting killed? Like what if they are just hiding some crazy shit? But I just think it's not that if they could, if they could hide all of it, they would.

I just think there is some still semblance of I don't. Like there's this much journalism and this much investigation in this country. Savannah Guthrie can't tell us what happened to her mom. That's true. I mean, I've been making a joke about her, but it's like, why is she allowed to still be a journalist?

Yeah, that is true. If you went to a chef's house, if you went to a chef's house, they made you a shitty peanut butter and jelly, you'd be like, I'm not coming to a restaurant. Yeah, come on, man. You can't even figure this shit out? No, I think it's, I don't think they do any journalisming anymore.

And the minute that you get close to something, they shut you down. You go on Instagram, you go, I could be unalived. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's fascinating, too, that they say unalived. They're not scared of telling secrets, but they're scared of the algorithm. Yeah, the traffic. They can't not.

I'll get killed by the government, but if the algorithm is. But I can't get a dip in my fucking ad revenue. At the end of the day, I'll die for this, but I'm not, I will not have a hit in my traffic. Yes. I sold a lot of ads this month. Yeah, I mean, I do really resent how they basically have tricked us all into just censoring ourselves. And that's another problem with putting all, depending on the internet. And I'm trying to figure out, I mean, that's why live performance is still the best.

And I do, I want to do certain stuff that never goes online. I think I do want to do some stuff. I think, like, putting your phone in a bag and doing stand-up is the best. The bag is nice. It's not even just to not be recorded. It's just now you know you can't look at your phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like now that's done.

There is definitely a different energy to those bagged shows, I will say. But yeah, I don't know. It's the like... And I love using the N-word. Yeah, when it's bagged up, Bonnie lets it fly. The minute I hear that there's bags, boom. Blackface happening.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. To do your closer, to do your two. your Fox Nation your stand-up special. Gutfeld? Gutfeld What, yeah, what fucking Rob, our boy, the animal.

Rob, Rob, Snyder. Rob Snyder. Yeah, yeah. They're putting some heat. He took a pretty big hit even from the right. Yeah. They were like, he's not, no.

We don't think he's funny either. Wow, dude, that's tough. I know. Watching Gunfield's awesome because it's like, you're basically like, Everyone here is just pretending this is funny. Everyone involved is like, we all know this sucks. Because I met my first ever true Gutfeld listener,

and it made so much sense who these people are. Okay, who are they? So I was, so this Christmas I went on like, I was like, I was, I had like a, you know, I've been struggling with my health for my whole life, basically. And I had gotten, I was very stressed out. The fall was much more stressful than I thought I was going to be. I wanted to lose a bunch of weight. wanted to get way healthier this fall, and I just had too much shit going on.

And so I was like, all right, for the holidays, I'm going to this, like, health retreat. I'm just going to, you know, I'll see my family before, but the holidays always fuck me up. I always get too high. I eat like shit. So Christmas through New Year's, I'm going to, like, this fancy, like, health retreat in Arizona, right? And it was nice. Sedona? It was, no, I don't remember.

It was, like, in Tucson. But it was nice. And it was exactly what I needed. And it was, like, very meditating. You want to talk about no phone. I was going on these long walks. I didn't, it wasn't silent, but it was like, I just put my phone away.

I journal, I was met, I got into meditate. I had a great time. But you think about who the other people at a, you know, holiday health retreat are. Yeah. And it's mostly,

because this was like one of those, it's mostly old people who like kind of are retired and kind of live there now, right? Oh. So you would get like, you would get like old people and then like their young relatives.

It's cheaper than a, Well, they're just so rich. I know, but you know, you're like, all people, like, they take cruises for the rest of their life because it's cheaper than paying in and all folks. This is basically a cruise, for them a cruise on land, right? Where it's like the things dry. And I had a great time. It was like, it was like camp, but you could do whatever you wanted, whatever.

It's like, as a little kid when you're like, I'll go to the swimming pool and then I'll get lunch, I'll get a snack, and then I'll go, you know, whatever. And then what was the food like? It was fucking great. It was healthy and good. Right. So that's kind of their whole thing. It's like it's a vacation, but you actually can't be healthy. You love a chef that just did that for you?

It was, yeah. Like making you Gwyneth Paltrow-style food every day. That's, that is the, that truly is the like, I got to get to that level. Yes. I got to get to like the fucking, I got to have somebody just cook me healthy shit. But, and most of it was like old-ass motherfuckers and like their family would come and visit. Or you would get the occasional like old guy in an obvious sugar baby. Like, you know what I mean?

Like you get some of that. But that was, I was, or you would get, the only other single people were like newly divorced, like, you know, women who, like girl bosses. Oh, right, right. Who were trying to get their life back together. Who were trying to lean in and have it all and it went bad. And now they're trying to put the pieces together.

Oh, my God. But anyway, good for them. Met some great people, whatever. There was one old guy who was so fucking annoying and he wouldn't shut the fuck up. And he's like, and he's like, oh, you look like. told some black guy that he looks like Titus. Oh, God. And I was like, who, and he was like,

Titus from the Gutfeld program. And then he starts talking about how much he loves Gutfeld. I didn't even know who the Titus was. I just knew it was racist. Some fucking guy on there. I don't, I think he's the Fox News personality. Anyway, this guy, over the course of this discussion, made it very clear he was a really big Gutfeld fan.

But also he had... That is kind of an odd pairing. He's an 80-year-old, like, super... And then I'm like, who the fuck? And he was so annoying and fucking... know, and, like, insulting people telling me, you know, tell me to get a haircut and lose some what, he, I barely know this guy. I'm literally in a waiting room with this guy.

And he's, like, sexually harassing the way, the nurses. He's fucking telling me, you know, telling me, I'm too. Literally making a comment on everyone talking about how, you know, what a good time he had serving in the Navy. And it's like, you know, 60 years ago. And then, and I'm like, this guy's fucking annoying. And then he starts talking about, you know, he's talking to the one nurse who's, like, humoring him. And he's like, you know, you know why we're here. You know, we, we begged our children

to come visit us for Christmas, but another Christmas that wouldn't come. Then we said, well, why don't we take you guys on vacation? We'll pay for a vacation. We'll do whatever. And it was like, and then it was like, well, so nobody wanted to spend time with us. So we just figured we'd spend Christmas here. And it was like, so Godfeld fans, what Godfeld is, is basically just like daycare programming. Oh my God. For the abandoned elder for the elderly that are so conservative they've turned off their entire family

and it's like all they have is They got this family now. It's just noise. That guy doesn't have a sense of humor. And it's like that whole show is like let's pretend, let's do all the signifiers of late night TV and let's say highest watch show but it's like the people watching it are sundowning.

There's not a single person who watches it and they only go to be like, we went to, they go to own the libs. It's all like everything is participatory. There's no doing culture because you enjoy it. It used to be, even we're fucking conservative people would watch a gay show or something. Right, right.

But they'd watch like, no, no, it's become so. They'd love liberace or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, wow, you know, it doesn't matter. This shit's fucking boring. Nobody really gives a fuck about us talking about. I know. It's like, I'm the least informed person on the planet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I flex for people. Like what I don't know stuff I feel like I don't know what I don't know about that I haven't been on my phone okay I don't care at all actually I've been reading books I just think it's baseline bad when we're uh clearly do it where we clearly don't even

where we barely adhere to the constitution which I don't even give a fuck about that's the other thing you're making me care about the fucking constitution I know I don't fucking care I don't fucking care but it's like anyway and it was actually I'm gonna stop Don't we just do what we want?

Like, why don't we just do what we want? What do you mean by that? Like, why doesn't everyone just do what they want? I don't get like... Yes. Like, I'm amazed even in driving that people... I would say almost everyone is... There's a couple fucking assholes that drive on the shoulder, but look at how many people.

That's a good point. Even assholes, even jerks, they're not driving on the sidewalk. Yeah, I mean, I just think... You're just doing what society tells you to do all the time. Why? If we all just start driving where we want it, they wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I'm not saying it's a good,

I'm not saying it's a good session, but I'm just saying like, it's so weird. We're in a thing where we could just do whatever we want. But that's, I think, yeah, I mean, that's a positive. It's like you could go into a grocery store and just fucking, you know what I mean? Like go in there and be like, fuck you. Well, I do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I know. I only have empty bags when I leave. Yeah, yeah. I like a little snack from the hot bar. Yeah. But there's something nice about that where it's like, I do think humans have the ability to actually be communal. Yes.

And that's truly the actual solution is like, just, like everyone is just so, we've been isolated by, you know, like nobody wants you to be in a actual livable community. There's no public transit. There's no actual cities in America. There's no communal spaces. American culture basically tells you got to leave your family the second you turn 18. Yes. It's a culture that over the last 30 years has been completely atomized and made us all feel like, you know, single people who's,

you'd have no empathy for somebody that's different than you. And it's like, but when you put people together, it works. People like being around each other. People like, you know, communal caring about their neighbors. I think Stad of is so important. I know this sounds absolutely badshed, but because people don't go to movies really anymore, it's like movies are being made for very specific audiences.

Yeah, yeah, true, true. But stand-up, a lot of times, like, if you're just, like, if you're performing at the stand, you're the first thing that hasn't, that they haven't attracted. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? Like, your ideas are, it's like a chance to hear something they don't normally hear. And it's in person and it's completely. And it's with other people who are laughing and responding.

And they're like, I just think it's not, it used to happen a lot more often where people would get together and exchange ideas and laugh. And now it's very segregated in a way. I know. And even just like, yeah, that is true. We've backed into kind of being, even making comedy movies again, it's like, I think that's a fun collective experience

where it's like going into a fucking theater and like acting with other people. There's something that like even when, if I look at a comment, like, you know, there was watching this cooking thing and this girl, she went to put oil in and she had a bowl of oil and she put it in. And then I just was like, it's got to be bowl of oil comments.

and they're all bowl of oil comments. And it made me feel good. It's like, oh, humanity. We're all together on this. Do you know what I mean? We all notice the bowl of oil. We all notice a bowl of oil. And I was like, I felt connected, you know.

I feel no connection with comments or like that to me doesn't feel like being with people. Sometimes I read a comment that's so funny. And I just go, wow. Like, there's just like funny people out of that. Yeah, but it just, I would rather have that interaction. You know what I mean? And that's why also, and maybe that's why streaming.

is now so big is because it's the only way to make it feel like there's actual people there. Right. Because it's the same stuff. It's still a screen. But there's the immediacy of you know that person is physically chatting with you. I think that's probably why that shit's taking off now because it combines the immediacy of the medium or like it kind of makes up for how impersonal the medium is by knowing everyone's there at the same time. But look, we can we can have media theory all we want. What we really need to do is solve the problems of our callers, Bonnie. Oh, okay. Sorry, I forgot about that part.

No, no, it's okay. Eldish, let's take some calls here, buddy. Sorry. No, no, you know, don't apologize. Hi, Stavi. I'm calling in for advice about my boyfriend. Okay. Are these last calls?

We've been together. Well, we were hooking up and we were hanging out like a long time before we were together. Nice. We worked together at a restaurant and that's how we met. So far, we were hoping. Two humongous strikes so far. Yes, right. For relationships working.

The on-again, on-again, off-again hookup into, and then, like, you worked at a restaurant where everybody just sucks and fucks each other. I know. Anyway, go ahead. We'll hear you out. We were hooking up and hanging out for, like, almost a year before we've made it official. But we decided to be in a committed long-term relationship since about October. November, December, January, February. Yeah, so we've known each other for a long time.

Things are good. This is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. Nice. Oh, boy. She's got some problems. I feel like we're doing really well, but I do have a couple concerns. One is that he has, I haven't met any of his family yet. I still live with my parents, so it's different.

They got to be early 20s, right? She doesn't say, but it feels like it. He's here all the time. He just moved back in with his family recently. They're either in the early 20s or just the saddest. I know. This is like, we were living in a basement suite. And then.

All right. What else you got? And I still haven't met them. We've talked about it. And I've, like, voiced to him that I'm upset about it. And again. I know. He said he's a Canadian, right?

Must be. But he hasn't made any moves to do so. And I'm starting to get concerned. I'm trying to give him a great period of moving into his parents. And I hope that by the time he's full. moved in and I'll be able to go over there, but I just don't understand why he's so weird about it. Why are you so weird about it? Yeah.

Why do you want to meet the parents so bad? That's a great point. Especially with the fact that he hasn't said, I love you yet. I said I love you one time when we were fighting. We were fighting. I think he said that he wanted to say it back or. Oh, brother. This is just a 28-year-old.

This is so fascinating. Just being 22. This is so fucking funny. But it is wild to not like, if I don't understand where you don't talk. Like she's like, I want to meet his parents. He hasn't brought it up. Why wouldn't you just be like, hey, I'm coming with you. I'm going to go to your house.

Because she's a child. And then if he goes, no, then you have a fight about it and then you break up. I mean, that's. But that's, you're talking about, again, this is just your plain farm style communication upbringing. You know, there's no conceit. There's no anything. There's no stewing.

There's no big city East Coast is stewing instead of talking about it. Does he laugh at your jokes? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Does she have any more? She has a little bit. She just says she doesn't want to keep bringing it up and feel like a neck. So not really.

This is just being a little-ass kid, basically. This is just being early 20s. Right. So for me, I will say if I, and again, we're assuming they're in the early 20s, maybe they're in their mid-20s, who knows? Maybe... This would be a completely different conversation

if they were in their 40s. If they're, yeah. Even starting at 30, this is a crazy conversation. Yes, yes. But in your 20s at some point, at some level of being immature and poor, whatever the fuck, I get it, right? I will say if I were a guy who was on again, off again, hooking up with someone for a year and then like...

You're a bartender. I think for her, I think you need to realize, The way you view this relationship is a lot different than how he views it. It's my hunch. It's my hunch, right? To me, I think she... Like they were hooking up. He doesn't see that much difference between that and this.

Well, I don't think, well, they were hooking up. The clock didn't start running it for him. No, right. She thinks they've been dating almost two years. He's like, what's it been two and a half months? Like, to his mind. He's like, well, we, I've fucked you a couple times, but we've been dating like a month, really. We never said, I love you.

She's like, I did in a fight. And he's like, oh. So that's my hunch. And maybe I'm projecting here off of my, you know, my personal beliefs when I was a dumbass in my 20s. Right. That's a very real possibility. For you, you're like, I've been dating this person almost two years. Like, you're rounding up.

You're like, I've been dating him two years. He's met my family. Right. He hasn't even said, I love you or want me to meet the parents. To me, meeting family is one of the, like, fakesst milestones in the world. Why do you do it? You're not going to get married to the guy. Yeah.

He's a bartender who lives with his dad. Yeah, I mean, that's the, in my, my hunch is that that is the absolute disconnect here. Right. Is that she's looking at it like, and maybe, you know, she's a good person. She's like, I date with like, I want to see things through. I think, and look, I'm not even saying he might not be on your level at some point. I'm just saying my hunch is he thinks this is way less serious at this. point than you'd think it is.

Yes. And that's not saying he might not eventually get to that point. But why does she think it's serious? Like, it's like you just enjoy, like this is the thing I think with women a lot or I don't know, maybe with men too, but I just talk to women more about it. Sure. Is that there, it's a means to an end always. Yeah.

It's not like, I don't know, it seems fun, you know, which is like, isn't that what dating is? Like, you just go into it. You go, I don't know. It's like starting crowdwork. Maybe it'll work. Maybe it won't. I don't know. Let's see what happens here.

And then, you don't like, but I never dated during profile times. Sure. So I don't know if. But were you dating? Sorry, I cut you off. Pretty much predominantly comedians are in my immediate. Like, you'd meet someone, you'd laugh. You'd have fun.

You'd go fuck them. Then you'd go on a date. And then you go, ah, we'll just be friends. And then you go fuck someone else. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it just was like. But I agree with you. But I also think that's a different philosophy.

Like, were you ever dating thinking about getting married? Never. Me neither, right? The only rich was the only one where I was like, I think this guy might actually propose. And then he did when I thought he was going to. Oh, interesting. So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You're like, okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. What's the proposal like? He, um, we were in a hotel room, um, by the airport because we were taking a flight the next day. And, yeah.

Yes, he was not thought out. And he was getting so... You're at the New York Sheridan? I think we're flying to Florida, and I think he was going to do it in Florida, but I think his anxiety was getting the better when we were still in New Jersey. We were at a hotel.

I don't know why we were at a hotel by the Newark Airport. At, yes, at an airport hotel. And then he just goes here, and he had a ring box. And then he laid down on the couch. He was like fully having a panic. And he goes, you don't have to say yes if you don't want to.

And I had to open up my own ring, calm him down, tell him it was going to be okay. We were going to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking hilarious. He goes, you want to call people? I go, let's wait a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's my grace period on taking this back?

I mean. Let me get to St. Pete's first. And, you know, let me think about it on the ocean. But I sort of had a suspicion, so I already knew what I was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I really, I really liked him. It is weird now, thinking back 20 years. I really liked him back then.

That is what, that's what love is, though. It's like, I do think that's what you want is something you can't really explain. And you're like, this is just how I feel. There's something magical and nice about that. Rich would never, if it had been a dating app, I would have never dated him because he was too old and he had kids. and we just wouldn't have, but just because I met him organically and we bonded in some way

and just were funny together. We just were immediately. That's great. I mean, I totally know what you mean. Sometimes I think back and I'm like, some of the women that I end up dating the longest is like people who bring something out of me

that make me feel comfortable. Yeah. I feel funnier around them. And it's not the kind of thing where I need to feel the funniest. I've dated people who I don't particularly click, but it's just like, there's just, that's a good,

marker for other types of joy, especially when you're a person who loves laughing, whatever. I mean, I guess I've always had this weird thing, because especially being a woman who now I believe I have some kind of neurodivergence. I don't know, but I just have always been kind of weird. Plenty of mental illness. I know. I'm sick in some way.

Let's not get too specific about neurodivergence. But I just, now I can't remember what we were. talking about, but... Oh, really trying to prove your point. I know. I don't know what I'm talking about. Wait. Oh, I just wouldn't have...

Is it what I'm saying? I wouldn't have dated rich? I think that makes sense. So it's like... Oh, no, I was... I know I was going to say, I'm so sorry. But I was going to say, like, there's some kind of safety that gets... Like, when you're with somebody who...

The chemistry thing, I think that's actually just you feel like, oh, okay, this person... I'm not going to offend this person. That's what I would always happen to me in regular relationship. relationships on regular dates where I just, I chose funny over making them feel comfortable or, do you know what I mean? Of course, of course. I remember, wait, this was the famously the era of your life where you said cunt on NBC, right? Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was completely shocked that people were upset about it. Completely. It's so weird. I watched that. That's so, like, it's funny to think that I was a fucking, I don't mean to, I feel bad every time telling people I saw things when I was a child. When I, again, I look like this, but I was a child watching that show in my basement, in my kitchen basement.

I remember exactly where I was. Oh, my God. When it cut to, you, I was like, and I didn't know, I was like, I didn't really know. They bleeped it. They bleep it so. So no one could tell what you said. But anyway, that makes, that does make sense to me on some. And I think what's going on here is this girl is just, she has this connection to this guy.

She feels comfortable. She feels like she wants it to be probably a little more serious than he does. and she's freaking out about these markers, societal checkoff marks, where it's like, listen, if you, if this guy doesn't like you and you get lunch with his mom, it's not changing the relationship. Right. If he likes you and if he likes you and he drags his feet, that's his own stuff. Liking you is the problem.

If you work really hard at it, you're going to get him ready for the next girl. That's the best you can hope for. That's the best you can hope for in this situation. And so you're like, it's the societal markers, like you're saying, they weigh so heavy on women. For what reason at this point in time? I don't know. In 2026, they're still like, they're obsessed with having like the bridal shower and the,

you know, like. The traditional markers, even if you're not a traditional person, on some level you want, you know, yeah, you want these. You think you deserve these things or that you, it's just like when you have a kid and, you know, they, I remember like when Raina was little and she was supposed to be able to throw a ball, like... Right, the developmental markers. Like, send a ball back and she couldn't, and I was doing it over and over.

She's fucked. She's fucked. And then I was like, wait, they all... Every kid in kindergarten can throw a ball back. Like, it doesn't matter. Do you know what I mean? If at six months she can do it or not. In six months, she'll be able to do...

Yeah, it's like, sometimes, like, you meet people who were nonverbal until they were like three. Yes. And their parents were probably freaking the fuck out. And they're just like, now they're just regular people. Maybe they're fucking stupid. Right. But now they're just regular people.

So, yeah. If you worry about this stuff, you will just fuck up whatever you have going on. Yeah. Appreciate the moment. Appreciate the moments. And listen, if it comes up and you're having a good time and he's talked about being around his family, you could say, feel free to be like, hey, you know, I'd really love to meet your family. Like, maybe we'd get lunch something. Yeah.

And see how he reacts. And maybe they're weird and he's embarrassed to them. That's a great point. Actually, that's a really good point. I think that happens a lot. but or he's told a few fibs that he doesn't want them to

look either way yeah yeah I mean look I don't do we think this is this is like necessarily the end all be all relationship for you no not sorry we're here we're wiser we're older and wiser than you

we've seen how life works probably the guy you met working at Tim Hortons is not who's gonna be your fucking although I actually did meet a guy who met his wife literally working at Tim Hortons, and it's the cutest story of all time. The first, they dated in high school, they're like high school sweethearts, have a beautiful

family. It's actually, so it does happen, so maybe it will happen. But you getting ahead of yourself and being like, why haven't I met his family? That shit doesn't matter. The minute you start thinking that, it's like over. Yeah. And I am a little worried because it does feel like you, you are putting weird pressures on what even to us sounds like a more casual relationship than you think it is.

Even, listen, even, let's... Which is not bad. You can have a casual relationship. And you're trying, why are women having, why are they being forced into these serious relationships so guys could have casual relationship? Like, you're allowed to just have fun, do what you want. But look, I think they seem like they're committed, but it's just still like, just because you're committed doesn't mean you're automatically, that's, I think a weird, that's,

some people think, well, once we're in a committed relationship, we're basically married. Right. And it's like, no, you're still in your 20s and dating. It's still not serious. It's just, you can be monogamous and not be serious. serious. I think people don't understand that that can be. You can be dating someone and not be sleeping with anybody else, but it's not that serious a relationship. That is possible.

Because so many people are open and do crazy shit, people think just locking it down. That was actually a big hurdle for me where I was like, oh, I could just date someone and it's not. It doesn't mean I'm engaged to her. It just means like I'm not sleeping with anybody else and I'm figuring it out. Right. I think that's the thing that's changed over time. Like, you know, I got married 20 years ago. And it's like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, made it now this is something we're really doing here you know or something happened where

because you did just used to kind of like fuck around a lot yeah and you would date yeah it was fucking around it was kind of fun bring it back what else we got eldest hey stop hello eldest esteemed the guest uh i read i have to re record this because the last one sounded like just complete dog shit so okay for context i am 21 i'm on my own living on my own living on my own. I have a very complicated relationship with my parents. My dad's a serial cheater with two kids at a wedlock and he

recently started a divorce process with my mom who is also kind of a piece of shit because she just kept them going back to him. Long story. I have a 10 year old brother. I love what they don't give the mom any grace. Yeah. She was in love, this bitch. Yeah, they write

the female characters even in their own Like a male director? Yes. This fucking asshole. I have a 10-year-old brother. He is, he's a sweet kid when he wants to be. We have a lot of issues because he's just really mean to a point where it's like I can tell it's because of a divorce. But like nobody does anything to tell him like, hey, maybe you shouldn't call people fat.

You know, maybe you shouldn't like be a brat, you know. And to pop it all off, he's like a gen. alpha fucking stupid ass kid, you know, watching YouTube videos, AI YouTube videos. This gets toast, by the way. Fortnite all the time. This kid's so fucked.

It's crazy. My question to you is, like, he's probably got it. He's probably taking a fucking hammer to his cheekbones as we speak. Keep going all this. So my question to you is like, is he saveable? Is it, is it over? Yes. What are you?

Hold on. What are you talking? I know. I know. Put him down. Put him down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One quick one to the back of the head like old yeller.

You get a coat hanger, go like that. You grab his leg. Yep, bash him in the fucking head with an axe. Is he savable? Well, the thing is at 10, when they're assholes, it's kind of good because it's not the usual age. So he's going to get out of their system. He's actually going to get out of it. He's actually probably early enough an asshole that he'll figure out himself.

Because at a certain age, kids' brains start going against. everything around them. So he hasn't even hit that age yet. So he'll start. He might rebel against this. He will rebel against this. He might become a great person. Interesting.

Interesting. I think it's like the reason teenagers do that is in case they have bad parents. Oh, interesting. That they can get out of it. That you have the urge to potentially rebel. Yes. If the urge to go, whatever you believe, I don't believe, I'm going to believe all this now so that you can have an opening of mind experience.

in case they're shitty. That is actually a really interesting evolutionary argument why there's a black sheep in like most families. Oh, wow. Because it's like you could, and again, this is awesome because we're really just letting it fly. We have no idea, no concept, no nothing. This is what science is now.

This is science. But it is, it would be a fun theory if evolutionarily they just made a black sheep because they're like, hey, if the society, this, or if the group, the clan, that this individual happens, to be born into actually is onto the wrong stuff, we'll have a smaller group kind of splinter cell off and rebel and to form their own.

Right. Which if they're right, then they'll flourish and the genes go either way. That's kind of fun to think about. It might be true. Nobody came to my vegan's side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, not you.

Your line is dying. And you, again, repopulate. You became vegan and married Rich Voss. I mean, again. I know. I know. Although it is crazy, you know. Don't put me in a box, man.

It's funny, though, we didn't even talk about how fucking insane it is that your daughter's in college. That's like a classic comedy kid that ages all of us. Where we all remember, like, you know, her as a kid at the stand. We all remember, like, with her fucking... Well, I want her to come to the stand and hang out and see everybody again because she's like this absolutely gorgeous, like, funny person. You want her out of comedy clubs. Wow.

Don't... Make sure Jeff Ross isn't around. You know, she... She sent me, I'm in the Epstein files or whatever. What do you mean? You're in the Epstein files. So Raina sent me the thing because there's a flyer in the Epstein emails that I'm on the show. Oh, wait, were you part of the people that it was like somebody was said.

Sherrod, I think. Yeah, because Epstein wanted to go to the cellar one night. Yes. Yes. You were on the lineup that night? So all her and her friends put in all their parents' names to search and, Guess whose fucking name came up? So Raina was like, you brought me there because I...

I could have been trafficked, but... Jeffrey Epstein could have found me at the comedy seller. I go, I brought you there to give to Jeffrey Epstein. He wouldn't take you. She's like, come on. I know. I'm actually pretty... We could be living on the Upper East Side right now.

But she was like, I go, why is it a flex to you? Because she was like telling all her friends and stuff. She goes, I don't know. It is funny because it's because being in the Epstein files innocently is a flex. Because it's funny. It's just funny. It's just funny. Because it's like if you search your parents' name and it comes up, most people aren't giggling about that.

Most people are like, what? It's like changed your whole life. They all sat around their sorority and put in all their parents' names. I fully believe that. That makes so much sense to me. That's exactly what we'd be doing if we were fucking kids right now. and there was like a big pedophile list. Yes, right.

Like, ah, your dad fucks kids. Like, if Eldis' dad was in the Epstein files, that would be the funniest thing that ever happened. If they were like, oh, yeah, we had an Albanian chauffeur who kept trying to fuck the kids, but we had to hose him down. That's, that's the... You would have loved to have that kind of status.

Yeah. In Albania, they would have made a fucking, put a fucking statue of him at the capital. First Albanian yeoman to shake hands with the Jews that control the world. and he'd have his little driver's cap on. That's so fucking funny. What were he answering the question?

Oh, well, the kid would be okay. I think the kid will be okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry. The kid's going to be okay. There's still more. I'm going to. Yeah, give us some more. It's pretty far away, but I try and keep in contact with him.

And when he is mean to me, I'm like, hey, bro, like, I'm not going to talk to you if you call me fat. Where you, like, are really rude to me. Like, it's just that. But my mom. Right. First, she said, calling people. fat. Yeah, no, right. And now she's actually clarified that it's actually calling her fat. That is actually what's driving her crazy. So anyway, go. But then my mom coddled him and

my dad basically doesn't fucking do anything, prick. And so, I don't really know. Leave him alone. Well, sweetheart. I mean, he shouldn't be rude, but he could lose a few. At least we don't got to get the kid eyeglasses. I'll say that. Oh, my God. So I don't really know what to do. I want to have a relationship with them. I don't want them to fall down like the alt-right pipeline. Right.

What seems to be happening. Feels like one thing you can do. Like, I hate gay people and stuff like that. And I don't know, dude. Like, I just don't know what to do in the situation because I'm not as parent. So like... This is kind of hard.

I think she should lose weight. I think I have a right-s fucking, you know. I see an answer. Look, the kid, he's not going to be helped by having a look at ugly broads all day. Give him something to look up to. This is hard because it's both a real problem that I would be worried about. And she is so clearly too close to the situation. Right.

Because the problem with her brother is that he's a kid whose parents are going to, through this fucked up divorce. Yeah. And if your parents are both pieces of shit, that's going to fuck you up one way or the other. Like, look, me and my brothers got out, got, you know, we didn't have, our parents were not,

you know, there was some problems, but we didn't, it was nothing crazy, but there was plenty of mental illness and there was anger issues and there was fighting. And there was stuff that could fuck you up. Yeah.

And there was low level abuse, whatever, right? Nothing crazy. Nothing really insane. Doesn't everyone have a low level abuse? It's compared to like other shit, whatever. And we're all doing pretty good, but all of us had our own problems, right? Like, we had, I had some mental illness that I had to get over.

I had some, I had some real, you know, it's like we have depression, anxiety, and other forms of more extreme mental illness are like kind of, that we all have struggled with. Yeah. And we didn't even have that bad an upbringing, right? So this kid, he's going to have some weird shit, right? Yes. Now, the problem is, the way he's affected by this divorce, you are, you are so emotional about a 10-year-old calling you fat. Yeah.

This is hurting your feelings in a serious way where, and even you being like, can I save him? It's like, of course, the kid is savable. What you should do now is an interesting question. What kind of relationship you should have with a kind of brady younger brother? I think you're not as parent, but you are an adult, right? How old does she say? 21. She's 21.

Okay, so yeah. An adult to him, though. Definitely an adult to him, for sure. What you need to do is, no pun intended, be the bigger person. Sorry, sorry, I'm not even saying you're that fat. I'm fat as shit. Okay. And I do think it's rude even if you were or even if you are or are not fat, it is rude for your 10-year-old brother to call you that.

Kids call people fat all the time. They know that that's a trigger and they can get a good reaction. Totally. And they do it all the fucking time. Those little fuckers don't know it's coming for them. Yeah. You know what I mean? I love when you see a seven-year-old being like, I don't want to.

want to be fat or whatever. It's like... Wait till you get your period. No disrespect. You're going to be fat. We live in America. Can you get on birth control? Yeah, yeah.

Anyway. So I would say yes. You do, you kind of have to slightly be above it. Don't engage, you know, don't engage with him in terms of like, don't let him act out the way he wants to. Again, you're not his parent in that if he's being a complete brat, you can just be like, I'm not dealing with you when you act like this.

I think you need to be, because, Right now, maybe you're not his cool older sister. But soon, like this age gap is actually pretty good for an older sibling. He's lucky that he has her. Totally. Like, in a couple years, when he needs a little help navigating the world, you will be in your mid-20s. You will really know a bunch of shit.

So I think the best thing to do is right now, don't create the weird kind of sibling rivalry that makes it so that you can't. Let him call you fat. Yeah, just be like you're being a fucking brat. Don't, you can't, you're not, oh, I'm a fat, you know, I'm a fat bitch. I guess you don't want to come to chick filet with me or whatever. Right, right. Or just like the little perks that an older sibling can for a younger sibling.

Oh, I guess you don't need somebody to go take you to buy a fucking switch or whatever the fuck. But don't get mad. Don't take it personally where you're, now you're going to be another part of his problem. Exactly. I think you need to do whatever you can to avoid becoming his enemy. Right. Don't take it upon yourself to parent him. Look, in fact, you have the ability, you have the advantage of.

of not being lame like a parent. Yes. You have the ability to be like, when he's being a fucking idiot, you can just be like, you're being a fucking loser. Right. No girls are going to want to fuck you

if you act like that. Like truly you could act. And so I think you need to avoid becoming his enemy when he's in this weird situation going through divorce. You know, your parents are going through divorce. And always be available to him. Be available. And understand that you may not be his parent,

but it's like you do have to step in a little bit in a way that you shouldn't have to. Understand that. You shouldn't have to do this. Right. But this I think is the recipe. It's like stay his friend. He's being a cunt.

Don't, you know, don't allow that kind of behavior. Don't support it. But yeah, I think in a couple years he will want when you're fucking 15, you know how sick it is to have a sibling that's 26. I can buy you fucking beer. Right. I can get you weed. No, but like even just, you know, go stay overnight at her place or whatever would be amazing. Like when your sister would take us to fucking TGI Fridays in the movies.

Oh, yeah. That was fucking awesome, dude. Those are like some of the best, you know, we're like in, we're 13. Yes. Yes. You feel like a fucking adult. Yes. So soon, you will have a lot of access to a lot of stuff that he wants, right? If you don't, you know, take personally and like try to like get even or have resentments with him.

Don't beef with a child even though it's just brother. Right. Although it's hard because Raina would be so rude sometimes. And, you know, it's like hard not to be like, even when she was really little and we'd be playing and she wouldn't let. My Barbie do stuff. She was kind of like, she was kind of an asshole as a little kid. It was hilarious. Well, in the comedy clubs, I will say this about her that I left her in the prison yard.

And then people are like, she's acting like a prisoner. But it was, but I made that in a good way. Yeah. Where it was like, it was funny to see a little kid be like, just like be like, shut up. Like not even. She went to my opener. She put, we were eating before the show. And then she finished and she put her napkin in his like shirt.

And she goes, go buy yourself something pretty. I mean, you have told the story either on here on Comptown About how they were bullying Or in her middle school friends I don't remember Was that on Comtown? I don't remember it. It's a Hall of Fame story

Look it up Somebody was getting upset I'm always fascinated when people do get upset by kids Because I guess I've got a thicker skin to it But he was getting upset Because they somehow got his phone number and we're texting him from the back of the, we had a van and we were going to a gig.

And they were, the first thing they did was they called him a heroin addict, right? Is that what? I remember. Or no, they were like, okay, crack addict or something like that. I think they were like 11 or 12 at a time

and just at that age where it was like, they thought it was so, we were actually laughing pretty hard too. Ian was the one who was not that into it. It's such a hilarious story. Fuck, anyway. Yeah, so, but it is hard.

Kids can be mean, but it's like you don't have to be his parents. So you can just walk away when you're fed up. Right, right. And just maintain, because I do think... Leave the door open. Leave the door open because I think that's the solution here. Yeah, agree. But good luck.

That sucks. And give yourself and him grace. Because she also, when you're 21, even though you're an adult and your parents are getting divorced and you have this younger brother who kind of pulled you back into childhood, you're regressive. a little bit. Psychologically.

So try and not do that. You go to therapy. If you can get your brother into therapy either now or later, that's good. I don't believe in therapy. That's awesome and we don't have time to get into that. And we will save that for another episode. I believe in Patreon.

Hey, well listen, if I had to pick one, believe me, I'm picking Patreon, sister. It is not even close, which one has had a better effect on my life. Patreon versus therapy. Are you kidding me? I mean, I even, I'm working on a joke where it's like, it's not going to be on this hour, but it was like my therapist goes on vacation in August.

And then, so instead of seeing him weekly, I've just got a weekly cleaning lady instead of like, you know, monthly. Yeah. And I was like, wait, this is helping my life so much more than a fucking guy. I just have to complain to an old guy or I never do dishes. Right. I'm going to be a lot happier if I never have to fucking do dishes. But anyway, give us another call, Elders. Hey, Stove, Elvis.

I just left a voicemail earlier. Please disregard that one. Anyway, I, um, long time, first time, love the show. Um, calling in for a little bit of advice because I am, um, a reformed in cell. Oh, yeah. I've been married to my wife for six years, uh, great sex life. She's the best, um, kind of the one who pulled me out of infill. Good for you, man.

She's gobbling my cock as I head. Are women, people. Hey, this is pretty nice. Maybe I've been too hard on these bitches. Maybe I've been too hard on this type of person. What they're doing now feels kind of awesome. And that actually is... Does this make me gay?

Yeah, yeah. It's the fact that I'm respecting a woman because she gave me pussy, make me gay. Yes. You know, that is kind of how society works. It's like you get annoyed by women And then you fuck You're like you know what women actually are awesome

That's the way anything works They're so soft Anyway let's see what he's got Was headed down a dark tunnel So probably Fuck yeah dude Anyways life is great I've been away from

Pause us again We need to get this guy to be doing We need I swear to God We need to have an in person Like we need to have like in cell conversion therapy, the way they had gay conversion therapy. And we need to just get a camp.

Get like, oh, dude, this would go crazy. If we got like 10 of the insales that have called into the program and then the reality show. Oh, my God. When we go to a camp and we just, by the way, buy sex worker. Like, we just hire a bunch of awesome sex workers. We have them like train how to talk to women. We have them go to, we have them like, we queer eye them or we fat eye them.

Fat eye for the in cell. It needs a little work, but. That would be incredible. That's great. If we got 10 incels and then we had this guy come. But really, they really are insals. Yeah, of course. They're out there.

Again, me and eldest are reformed in cells. We didn't get pussy when we were teenagers. You know what I mean? Like that form... Is that what an incell is? Just somebody didn't get pussy? Involuntarily celibate is what it means. Oh, I never realized that.

That's the whole... Oh, I just thought it was like right-wing trolls. No, no, no. Incell started from purely... The definition is involuntarily celibate. Oh, God. I can't believe I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There you go. Everybody's learning. Did everyone know that but me? I think so. Not everyone, but a lot of people. Dang it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's okay. Well, I didn't know.

But I'm not on my phone. Yeah, you're not on, you're on plug. You're out there fucking, you know, putting Okra for the season. I get it now. Okay. Let's see what else he's got, Aldous. You know, that area for over six, seven years now. It's been so clear.

kind of recently identified a part in my life where I think it's still affecting me in some of my relationships, particularly just with women who are my friends. I have caught myself being kind of cold or borderline sometimes rude to my female friends because I am kind of scared of coming off as flirty or interested or coming after. my female friends in some kind of romantic way. I've never had an instance where that has happened and someone's called me out, either my wife or any of my friends. It's more just, I guess, recently as I thought about this,

I think some kind of in-sell, naivety or insecurity of just... Yeah, that makes total sense. Yeah, because once you're married, that's the best time to flirt. Yeah, and cheat, too. You can fuck. And then maybe you could. Now you're really not an in-sell. If you don't want to cheat,

you can always be like, I'm married. Of course. Well, no, that is, it's a joke, but it is kind of true in terms of like, when you're in a relationship and you truly don't want to cheat and you're just being yourself because you're happy. Yes. Because you're with someone who has lifted you up.

You do attract more people then. Because you're just happier and better and everything. And flirting a lot of. of times is just having a great conversation with someone. Yes, yes. It doesn't have to be. Now, sexual. It doesn't have to be, yes.

But do you have more? Okay. Rather just be borderline rude to these people so that there is no fear of that. But I'd rather, you know, be friends with women and be myself around them. So I would love your take on that, especially with, you know, all the friendships you've developed. and as you've kind of gone through that process yourself. Anyways, thank you. I would really appreciate you to take on this.

Love the show. And thank you. Well, I guess I need a clarifier on what the problem actually is. The problem is, so he's saying he's great. He's been delivered out of Inselhood. He's in a nice, committed relationship. Now he finds himself sort of maybe even subconsciously on some level, being colder and less friendly to women, friends and, like, associates,

because he doesn't, and he thinks it might, it's, like, vestigial, like, he doesn't want to be seen as flirting or crossing a boundary. Right. He is now, he still sees, his relationship to women is still, like, wrapped up in him shame and embarrassment. Right, right, right. And on some level, still getting rejected, right. Now it's just the opposite, where it's like, now he's getting,

now women are going to demonize him for, trying to fuck them or like trying to be inappropriate or whatever. Right. Whereas before he was scared of getting rejected by women, now he's scared of being made out to be a predator or whatever. And I would say first and foremost, if I were you, everything I know about you, buddy, you being too dastardly charming to a woman would not be at the top of my worries. Them thinking you're behaving, them perceiving you as Antonio Banderas in his prime is not

something I would be worried about. Number one. Complementing women has gotten such a weird thing recently. You can totally compliment women. It doesn't have to be sexually. You don't just say like her boobs. Of course. You know what I mean? You look nice. Cool jacket. You look nice. I like you do a cool jacket. Oh, thank you. And cool pants. Something with, you know, you do something different with your hair. That's fine.

People are like, okay, say something nice about her shoes is like such a weird thing. But also it's like, but it doesn't have to be sexual. And I would say you are in a good, like you clearly love your wife. You owe her everything. Right. You could be fucking, you could be, you'd have a dark fucking life if there's not for this woman. You don't want to cheat. I think this is a really good opportunity for you to read.

This is a great learning opportunity where you're like you don't, because you want to fuck your female co-workers the same amount you want to fuck your male co-workers now. Zero. Right. Because you don't want to, you know, sleep again. You don't want to wreck your relationship. So I think this is freeing. You should be able to. And how do you do?

Basically his question is essentially how do I just. How do I just have better female friendships? Well, I think, like, it's just, like, being curious about other people is, you know, just, like, like, like, when people are nice, not, nice isn't even the right word, because I don't like nice that much, but, like, when. Inquisitive, take an interest. Yes, yes. Yes. It's like, it's, it makes life so much better, you know. Spend a little bit of their time seeing you.

And I think that's a good way to look at it. You have only looked at relationships with women as a. Like how can I win her over? How can I win her over? How can that energy? You've never expanded, expounded energy. Expound, expounded? Yeah, I think it's right. You've never used energy for the purpose of getting non-sexual intimacy with a woman.

Now you can still, it's social, you're still using part of your social battery, but it's just the means are different. the end is much different. Now you want to form a real friendship. So just put, it's not, I think he doesn't realize that taking an interest in a woman is not cheating on his wife. Right, right.

Being like, oh, how was your weekend? Yes, taking an interesting people. It's just, yes. And learning more about how women think will help you in your relationship with your wife. Totally. And in your job and in just being a, so I think that's, that's, it's as simple as that.

Understanding, and I think he's, he kind of does understand his own psychology pretty well. Right. Where it's like, yes, that's a stupid, vestigial way of thinking where you can't put real energy into talking to a woman for fear of getting rejected or fear

of now being outed as like a sexual harasser or slash I think that's a thing that men I don't know if they do maybe he does but like if I was a man that's what I would be worried about yeah look whatever it's like

sure but again I don't think this guy I think you greatly overestimate the amount these women think you're trying to fuck them. Yes, right. They probably think you're their nice but weird co-worker, you know? Right, right. And by the way, making friends, it's pretty simple.

It hasn't gotten that crazy since being a little kid. Be nice to people. Yeah, right. Fucking bring in cup, bro, you bring cupcakes or donuts. Or you're just saying, you just come in one day, you're like, my wife baked cookies for the whole office. You do simple shit like that once a month and ask your female co-workers how their fucking weekend was.

Right. And just, and by the way, go to the movies with a group of friends, a group of like, you know, co-workers, just do some shit like that. You're going to, you're fine. You just need to understand that it is not, you are not being letcherous by taking a real interest in your female friends. And I think for me, and if he asked, you know, he says, we know, we've dealt with it.

And for my, yeah, my reality, the true answer for me is just like purely getting out of that mindset of only seeing your relationship to women as sexual. Right. That was it. Or what happened to me is like, I moved here and I like,

you're so lonely and that you really, you like, a couple people like are nice to you and you're like, and if a woman is nice to you when you're like sad, you're like, I love her. Yeah. And then you talk to her or you even say how you feel and you're like,

wait, I didn't fucking, I wasn't in love with that girl. She was just a nice person. Right. And it literally, like, for me, there was a moment where I was like, like, oh, I was just friends. I just was good friends with her.

Yeah. And it really was the thing where it took me to be like 24, 25 to be like. To separate those feelings. Obviously I had like friends who I had close female friends who I like grew up with who it was almost like we became friends. We were children. So it's almost like your grandfathered in at a simpler time. Yes. Where you don't even consider them like a sexual entity.

Right. When we're growing. I kissed one of those guys one time. Yeah. And it was so gross. Totally. I ran home. I was like,

yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have a, I have like, you know, one of my best friends is like that. But to truly, for me to truly kind of break the insale in my mind, I had to, it took me until I was like, yeah, in my mid-20s, which is like, it's kind of embarrassing to admit. But that's how. When you say to break that in-self frame of mind, like that talking to every woman is just to like trying to find out if you got an in or not.

Yeah, yeah, that even when you were just kind of friend-ly, talking to someone in the back of your head you're like can I fuck her? You know what I mean? It's like... But I do think that, like, I think that about men... Look, there's a very small part of you that's almost like evolutionary. Yes, yes. But I mean, like, this was more of that. Right. This was more of the...

The second we like, I would hit it off with someone as a friend who I... By the way, I didn't even really want to... It was just getting positive attention from a woman. Right. I felt like, oh, I have to immediately convert this into sexual currency because that's what women are. Yes.

Like, that's their value is to allow me opportunities to fuck. Right. And then it took me like to actually come here, really switching up my shit up coming to New York, rethinking everything and just meeting a ton of people where you realize like, oh, I do just like being around it. And it's just like, you just have to let go of that shit. And it's very simple though. Because once you do it, you're like, oh, yeah, this is great. This is better.

This is fun. And now you can actually determine who you might. like, as opposed to just taking whatever you think might be crumbs given to you. And then it gets to be fun because now you get to be misogynist with women. You get to trash other women with women and you're not even misogynist. It's a loophole. Yeah, right. You're being supportive to at least one woman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, when you start gossiping about some dumb bitch you hate with your girlfriends, oh, my God. That's the best. Eldon doesn't have that level of malice in his heart. He doesn't want to destroy any. The way some of my female friends want to destroy their enemies. The difference of like men will destroy other men but just like some facts, you know,

or like he doesn't make any money or nobody comes to his shows or whatever. But women get into the character of someone deep in there. We'll take apart their traumas. Yeah. Yeah, it's the best. Oh, their brother died. When they were five, get over it. You know, it's like.

And then when you throw gay guys into the mix, too. Oh, my God. They're awesome. They have the ruthlessness. It's both. Yes. It's like male domination and the ruthless is catiness of women. Yes.

They're like the meanest gay guys, the meanest person on earth. Yes, absolutely. And also. Like a, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Now we've, I was thinking about it. I think my next initiative is like really expand the lesbian friendship. Because I got girls.

I got gay guys. But I'm like, you know, I feel like I'm sorely lacking on lesbians. And I would just say in general, making friends with people that you connect with but have different life experiences makes your life so much richer. It's absolutely true. You find out about shit. You know, you watch, you know, you watch So I Marry,

or you watch a, what's the fucking Natasha Leone cheerleader movie, but I'm a cheerleader. Oh, right. Yeah, you watch that movie because gay guys tell you about it. You know what I mean? It's like, you just get, you just enrich yourself. And so I think you're in the right path. Well, this is the problem with the algorithm too

is that it just keeps, it's a feedback loop. So you never, it's. Like you have to actually go out. Yeah. Meet people. Like you don't even know. I always think this about growing up pores. I didn't even know what to hope for in rich.

Like in wealth. Like I didn't know what was available. I talk about that too where it's like getting, it's like when you like what happened to me when I first got money, real money. I was like I got fat as fuck because I just started doing drugs and eating like steaks every day. Right. Because you're like I can do whatever I want. Yes.

I could ever just, I could have a rib eye every day. Yeah. And it wouldn't affect me financially. It was the first. And I just, and I straight up did that a lot. I ate like, well, there was a tour rumsy. You're like a king. It was crazy.

I was, I was truly eating like a king. And I was like taking pills and edibles and just like, it was awesome. And by the way, I loved it. But it almost killed me. Right. So, but you're good in that, like, yes, you're leaving the, the spiritual poverty of inseldom. And now you have the splendors of being friends with women and, you know, a bunch of other people.

Now you can experience life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, this, and by the way, I would also say this guy's married whatever, the other thing to realize for former in cells is like, if you start treating women like people and form real bonds with women, guess what? They have female friends who they will set you up with. And that's the easiest dating you'll ever do in your life.

When a girl vouches for you to another girl, you just have to not say the N-word and you're good. If you're a dude that has female friends, you're so much better at talking to women. Like, guys always do this. They go, why does all the girls like him? Like, he's not good looking. He has no money.

It's like, you can tell he likes women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's interested in women. He's just like a fun guy to be around women. Like some men really aren't interested in women. They don't like hearing them talk or anything like that. And then women feel that. They get that.

Totally, totally. But if that person went out and was like, oh, I'm going to be friends with women. Yeah. And learn that skill. And not expect that. That's the hard part. Everyone, and that's, by the way, I hate to fucking bring everything back to fucking how

capitalism has destroyed us. But it is the thing where we think of our time as a commodity. And we think of it as money or we think of it as our time, wasting our time being this precious thing where it's like, so if you go out and you talk to a woman and she doesn't fuck you, you're like, she just wasted four of my hours. You know what I mean? Because it's like, because the only thing that's important is it. But it's like human connect.

Looking at things, like with dating with no expectations, just being like, you know what, I'm going out with my friends. I'm going to talk to some women. If I hook up with one grade, if I get somebody's number, great. The more just life experiences you have, the better off you're going to be in general. And again, off the computer, touching grass, whatever the, all that shit. My friend was going to date, was talking to this guy on an app, and then she was going to meet him.

and he made a documentary. So she watched the documentary. And she said, watch this documentary. So I watched it. It was a good documentary. And then she was like... The guy told her to watch it or she watched her curiosity. No, she looked him up or whatever, saw that he had made a documentary.

Watched the documentary. She was like, should I go ahead... Lose change. She was the guy... I don't remember. The 9-11 was set up. Documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was... It had something to do with health. I can't remember now. But anyway, so it seemed like an interesting guy, you know. And then she said... She goes, he... He just DMed me that he wants to meet me. You know, he's in her neighborhood, so he's going to go to the spa.

I go, just go meet him. She goes, no, because I don't think he's for me. Like, I don't really like the way he looked in the documentary. You know, I don't know. And it's like, but he's just a guy. And just go. Just go and sit there. You know, there's no expectation there.

But she wouldn't go out with him because she'd already made the decision that he wasn't a guy she was going to marry. No, that's a, I mean, the putting stakes on every interaction is, what has ruined so much. Yes. Making everything feel like it matters or his life and death or will affect you in really anyway other than just being like, eh, like you watch a movie from the 70s and it's people just hung out all day.

I know. Or the plan was, hey, I'll meet you at the fucking, I'll meet you at the park at 1 p.m. They make that plan at 6 p.m. the day before. And then they just shows up. Yes. And they're like, I can't. If somebody doesn't show up. I told them I would meet him.

There's no like, hey, I'm actually 40 minutes. Like, yeah, if that person doesn't show up, they are dead. to you for that day. Right, right. And then you see the next thing, you're like, what the fuck happened to you? Oh, it was this. And you don't know. And you really don't know. And you don't get, have this great anxiety. Like the minute you don't get a text for someone, there's this anxiety.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When really. It's like, oh, I guess you got hung up. Who knows. Yes. Yeah. Anyway. But the thing is, like, the time thing that you're saying where it's like, you're like, don't waste my time. It's like, what are you saving it up for? Do you know what I mean? It's like, you're basically just putting in time until you die.

All this really is. Like there's nothing you can take with you. Totally. It's just experiences anyway. So you might like... That is the actual thing we should be trying to hoard is experiences. Instead of fucking capital, instead of like shit that you steal from other people that to really be rich, you have to exploit other people on some level. Yes.

To be like crazy rich. Instead be like, go do the craziest shit. If something sounds weird, go do it, man. Yeah. If it's safe, whatever. Um, yeah, just try different shit out. And so, you know, this is a very minor version of that. Speaking to a woman as if she's a, a, a, human equal is a, is a minor version.

Not someone that you have to fuck. Yeah. Just someone you want to find out a little bit about. Yeah, dude. But this, you're in the right spot. You really are a success story. And it's, I, it makes me feel good to hear a calling like this. Yes. It really does.

Yes. Um, and yeah, you're, you're, you're in for a little treat, pal. I can't wait till they, you know, They'll show you real housewives. I know, but guys do. The minute they get a girlfriend, they're like, watch all these female shows. They're like, they become obsessed. Big vampire diaries guy now.

Hit us with another one. Actually, give us something to go out on, something fun to go out on, LD. Hi, Zaz, Eldis and esteemed guests. I have a quick one for you about a new guy I'm dating. I just want to get your advice. I'll get right to it. The guy I've been seeing for two months bought me a laptop that is worth approximately $1,600. Okay.

And also he bought me an iPhone at the same time. And I don't know how much that was. But yeah, I felt kind of weird about it, but he was like, I just want you to be a successful in your new job and I think he has like a provider kink kind of thing but I'm feeling weird about it. I love that everything gets put into a phrase. Yeah, yeah.

Like the guy's being nice. Well, I guess he has a provider kink. Yeah, yeah. Or the funniest one is when straight people start talking about breeding kinks. Oh, my God. And they just mean nutting inside. So when it's like, so you just mean

the thing we were designed to do biological. It's like you're the one. God particle. It's what just went into that woman. You're the one, you're like, actually breeding, you could say, is actually not to say what's natural or unnatural. That's the only one that's not a kink. The people that just want to not get nutted in and nut inside someone,

you're the only one doing it. Like, it's like, yeah, of course. That's not like a fucking, that's not like something you're into. That just is sex. You're just describing sex. You can't any, but yes, provider gig. But I will say, in this case, spending. three grand on someone you're dating for two months.

But listen, if the guy has a good job and he's into success, which it sounds like he is, then he really is just like, maybe it's not that big of a deal to him to spend three grand. And if he likes her and he's like, I want you to do well. Like, first of all, I think people just like spending money if they have it. If they have it, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, let's see. Let's see if she gives us any more info.

What do you think from a guide point of view? Is that normal? He also told me to let him know if I didn't want it within 15 days because that is the return policy of the school he got at. Okay. So he's not that rich. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Interesting.

I'm glad she added that detail because. Well, I mean, look. But maybe he's not wasteful. Maybe he's not wasteful, yes. too look okay as speaking as someone with money who and by the way I do like if I'm dating somebody or if like I'm out with somebody like yeah obviously I pay for stuff I get whatever I like to yeah pick up a big dinner I like doing all that stuff I take care of like you know my friends I you know my family obviously all that stuff in dating though I actually would probably be

like you know again if I buy I pick up every check whatever and if we're going you know know, if we're traveling, I pay for stuff. But I'm saying in terms of big gifts, I think I actually would wait because it's the kind of thing where you're like, I want, it's not that I care about spending money. It's that I want to make sure I'm not affecting this relationship. Right, right, right. Did she say how long they'd been doing? Two months.

Oh, okay. If I was dating, if I'm dating someone for a year and it's there, and was it her birthday or did you just get it for her? He just got it for her. She mentioned the new job thing. So now yeah okay if I'm dating somebody for a while and she has a new job and she's worried about her computer I'll buy her computer yeah right if it's if it's serious if she won't fucking shut up about it yeah yeah yeah if she finally gets off my dig about the one time I got head on the road I'll buy her a computer

but I need that in writing I need that it's never going to come up again in writing no I would buy if I'm in a serious relationship for somebody and she mentions she's worried about her fucking iPad broke and she needs it for her fucking job or whatever. Of course I buy her, whatever. But if I'm two months in and we're still kind of in the courting phase and in the getting to know each other and what we were just talking about earlier

where it's like you can be monogamously dating and it's not serious. If we're still in the not serious but monogamous phase, I'm not spending that much money, not because it really matters to me, but because I don't want this to affect the way she views me or like...

That's a very good point. I never thought of that, yeah. Seize it as the way where it's like... But now she feels like I guess I'll stay with them a little longer. In either direction, right? I don't want her to feel guilty about it. I was thinking...

I don't want her to... I also want to feel like the person I'm with wants me for me. Yes. And I want the relationship to form and feel like a real true connection and not feel like this is somebody who's like, oh, I could probably get some nice shit. I just got to date this guy for a year. Right.

And I'll get fucking my bills paid off. My birthday's coming up. If something is serious, I will do whatever for the people closest to me. Right. But in... Two months is a little... Well, because I think, what did that guy think? If I was the guy, I would think, oh, she'll think this is weird.

Even if I wanted to do it, I might not do it just because I go, oh, it's too much too soon. Let me, let me. Unless you're the type of rich where the difference between $30 and $30,000 is nothing. Yes, right. Buying a computer like it's a coffee is weird to me. Yeah. So I see why she's a little weirded out because, yeah, I would, I think it's possible for a woman to be like, whoa, what the fuck? this is kind of fucking too fast.

So. Well, all she has to do now is, you know, not not see him for a while after. Yeah. After. At day 16, say you want to break up. Yes. Yes. Yes.

And then watch his mind explode. Then you'll know what you're dealing with. Because you might be controlling. Like, it could be a lot of different things. My hunch is the like, this is just putting a down payment on the next. this is preparing for the first real argument. Right. This is like, oh, you didn't have a problem when I bought you a fucking MacBook, you fucking slut.

You know, that's what I'd be worried about. And again, we don't know this guy. He could just be a nice guy who actually is head over heels with it for this woman. And they're, so I'm saying like... Right, and it could be a story, you know, on their like, you know, 12th wedding anniversary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You bought me a computer. I was like, this guy's weird.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it is really you have to figure out the guy. You have to figure out the guy. And I do think this is a little weird. It is a little early. It does put you in a position to have to think things. Even at five or six months, you have a clearer vision of who this person is. The fact that he said, tell me, day 15.

That's pretty funny. That's a controlling, right? I see, I read that as he actually doesn't have money like that. And he's like, hey, if, you know, but if this gesture isn't landed the way I want, I really, really could use the three grand, you know. Right. But then that suggests to me, that whole thing suggests that he's not as confident and like... I agree.

You cannot tell her to give you the laptop back. If you make this move, you asking for the return. Take it, leave it, give it to your friends. I don't care. You know, whatever you need to do with it. Exactly. Because now she does have to think about the financial ramifications. Yes.

Now it's not a gift like any other gift. Now you know, oh, if I don't use this to its full, now I'm costing him. Right. And again, this guy might just be a pragmatic person. Right. Who, again, might be. Oh, by the way. Yeah.

Yeah. And he might really mean it. Like, hey, if this was weird to you and you don't want this, if you're going to give it back, just give it back so I can get my money back. And that is reasonable. But again, anytime you do these weird kind of gray area things where you're like, what's going on here? There's something not quite right about his.

There is something off either way. Yes. Even if his intentions are pure. Yes. It's like, oh, you're... He should have thought that it was too soon. He should have known that. He should have offered a less sort of economically stressful way to support her

her new job. Right, right. Get her breakfast. But, you know, get her fucking, you know, whatever. Hire her a cleaner for the week or her first week. That's weird. Or whatever. I just mean like, just like, just like buy her a bag.

Buy her a fucking work bag. Get her like, or get her, I was trying to think of something pragmatic that's not flowers. That's like, oh, you're busy at work, you're late night at work. I'll pick up your dry clean. Support her in different ways that show you're thoughtful as opposed to dropping $3,000 when that you don't quite have. That you don't exactly have. That I think is a, but if you, if I assume by the time this girl's called in, the episode is out, we're well past the 15 days. Right.

So all you can do at this point is you've accepted the gift, it seems like. Right. Just don't let it affect your relationship as much as possible. And the second this motherfucker, if you get in a fight and he throws the laptop in your face, you give the laptop back and you get out of this person's life. That's how I would handle it. I would say exactly the same thing except keep the laptop. Right, right, right.

And that's the duplicitous female minds. I know. You can't give her back. All your stuff is on it. You work off an external hard drive for the next couple months. Just in case. But yeah, I think that's our advice. All right.

But even though there's something wrong with his thinking, it's like he still could be a great guy that just didn't quite know. And that's why I'm saying, like, at this point, you've accepted it. You've made your bed. Honestly, probably what I would do, I mean, who's to say is like, this is very thoughtful, it's very sweet. I don't feel comfortable accepting this level of gift. It doesn't mean I'm not interested in you.

It's just like, I just think it's too much. Let's just put pause on this for a bit. Like, you know, I appreciate it, but I'm okay, whatever. You're like, I think that's, you know, and maybe the relationship survives that. Maybe it doesn't. But either way, you didn't do that. You accepted it. That's fine.

And I think, again, totally fine. That's why you just try and have as normal relationship as possible. He's decided this is the kind of gift he wants to give you. Right. Great. Right. Just be normal. Don't let, don't be weird about it.

And if he starts being weird about it, you know, I think that's where you have to draw the line because that's, that's just step one of manipulate, trying to earn, trying to buy control of you. Right. Is, like a laptop. She should definitely give him anal, right? I mean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, of course. That goes about saying. Come on. Let him cheat. Come on. Basically, I have a, I have a formula that has, that sort of like, it's kind of like Chuck Echee's tokens.

Okay. When you spend enough money on women, it's like, get out of cheating free. anal, let me kiss your friend while I jack off in the room. You know, there's different joking. Wait, is that a thing? I would do it. I'm just thinking about, I got to suggest that one.

I'm just thinking about different stuff that's kind of cool. I would love to see a girl fucker. And, you know, obviously let me jump in is the top one. But that's neither here nor there. You don't have to. But no breeding kink, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny.

I never heard that way. Yeah, yeah. That's, people say they have a breeding kink. And it's like, you're describing the most natural form of sex. It's in the Bible. Anyway, good luck, sister. Bonnie, thank you so much. This is so fun.

Oh, thank you for having me. It was so fun. That's going to do it for us, folks. Go see Bonnie, a follower, you know. My Instagram. Get on my Instagram. Get on the IG. Follow Bonnie.

And we'll talk to you guys next time. Bye bye. Bye.