Stavvy's World - #185 - Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin return to the pod to discuss where the snacks are at in the new Stavvy Baby HQ, not having the lighting optimized for Stav's skin tone when he did their pod, speculations on how Stav hurt his back, random childhood crushes on niche microcelebrities, foot fetishes, checking the Instagram message requests, Mase's viral advice to just give up, and much more. Sydnee, Marie and Stav help callers including a woman who's wondering if she should tell her mom that her dad may not be who she thinks he is, and a girl who's wondering if she was in the wrong for telling a guy from Hinge that his bathroom was disgusting.   Buy tickets to see Sydnee Washington perform her show "My Black Barbie Story" at Edinburgh Fringe on August 10-11: https://www.edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/sydnee-washington-my-black-barbie-story   Check out Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin's podcast MESS:   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mess-with-sydnee-washington-marie-faustin/id1160606309 https://open.spotify.com/show/4vCgiF2E6Wo35ZkzcoedC3   Follow Sydnee Washington on social media:   https://www.instagram.com/justsydbw/ https://twitter.com/Justsydnyc https://www.tiktok.com/@justsydbw20   Follow Marie Faustin on social media:   https://www.instagram.com/reeezy https://x.com/MsReeezy     Thanks to our sponsor! https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!!   ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!   🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets   ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hopa! Welcome everybody to Stop This World. I know 400, 800 stop. Calling. We'll solve all your problems. That's awesome. I love what you guys are doing there. This is how we get interest in Greek folk dance back up. We got to get hot black girls dancing to it. You got to get blacks. The blacks, twerk.

We will be twerking. That is honestly a dynamite strategy. Culturally speaking, that is how you get something successful. And then everybody else steals. Yeah. And then it's no longer cool. Yeah, exactly. That is true.

And your people will just be doing an off-B in an ugly white sneaker run down, drinking a matcha on the Lori side. I've never fucking had a match in my life, all right? Stop blumping me in with every type of white person. I'm a very specific type. Specific type of way. No coffee. We're not the, look, we're white, obviously, but we got a little, we're a little strange in comparison.

Y'all had a little struggle, too? A little bit, I would say. Not like the Irish. but no the iris probably are in terms of ranking white people probably the irish do tend to be the coolest ones um they went just because of any time anybody who's over who has strife i think ends up being cooler it has to create art to get through it and becomes more a more empathetic group and so the irish the fact that the british were fucking them up for so long that's i give them that greeks the ottoman empire took over us but that was 1300 to 1821

nobody I knew was around during that shit. You know what I mean? 13 of honey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Y'all need to let that go. Y'all still talking about that? You're a Turkish supremacist. You're taking the side of my oppressor.

You gotta let that go. Too much time has paid. Ain't nobody want to hear. Nothing about that. Wow. We were the indigenous population and the Turks came over. Indigenous. Is that what you're calling them now?

Oh, wow. Even the indigenous can't have a word. I don't know a single Turk. I know Turks and Caicos. I know two-carc Cagos. We have, as you've noticed, Sydney and Marie are back. You know, we got the new studio. We're trying it out.

We wanted some of our favorites here to help open it up. So you want us to work? Is that an incomplete? Come on. I don't expect you to be on time or to prepare. I've learned, and that's not racist. That's how you are. That is you personally.

High five, babe. Oh, I thought of me. Oh, that was for style. When you know, you know. You were like, hey, we just working out some kinks. Can y'all black bitches come on up through? Come on through. I know you in the area.

Stop, man, take the service entrance. Girls, please, the freight elevator. You know, my doorman can't see you. Weird. It's crazy. You know what? I'm glad that you've upgraded this. is an upgrade because we didn't want to come to the Bronx.

You were done. Queens, thank you very much. You changed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, we had to come in and season this up. Absolutely. You know, because the walls are just too white. Listen, we're getting there. I'm going to kicking shit over.

We're going to paint them. We're going to paint them. We're going to do the mural all the way through. We just, we're going to make that front like a fun lounge zone. We just bought a sick couch to go with our 100 inch TV. It's not L shaped. It's one of those, it's just like a, every, seat reclines. It's a sofa where all three of them go all the way the fuck back.

Zero G. Very much. That is beige cultural. Yeah. Yeah. A bunch of recliners that go straight back. A hundred percent. That I will admit that is suburban white type of like dead.

Dad. Dad. That's dad culture for sure. And that's what I, and I would argue I would like to say it's dad. It's also uncle. Uncle, yeah. Because I'm very much in the in the unc phase of my life now. I am an uncle officially. Yeah.

My brother has a cute little, you know. You know, a little fucking fat, 18-month-old running around right now. So I'm very unked up. I want to get... Unked up. That's a good one. I want to get, you know, big-ass couches, big TV, watching a bunch of dumb action movies in here.

Yes. That's where I'm at in my life. I'm going to be the... I'm going to be this kid's fun, uncle. I want to get like a couple arcade machines in this motherfucker. I was going to say we need some machines in you. What do you thinking? I was before the machines.

What about the snacks? I can't believe you came here. No snacks. I apologize, actually. because that is a great I actually am embarrassed to have a believe me

the next time you come here the snacks you're gonna fucking knock your socks off okay because I'm weak what snacks you're gonna have here it's gonna be pop chips no I'm not

this isn't a corporate office that's the beauty of it we have all the trappings of one of those like early 2010s dot com like you know I used to work for I had a writing job

in one of those but I'm I'm the fucking boss so it's like we're gonna have probably we'll probably have one of those big cheese balls We'll always have one of those big things of cheeseballs always.

We're going to go to Costco for all the snacks. We're going to Costco, babe. Absolutely. We were just, me and Eld is just actually my shirt, the New York Sumo Club. We went to Industry City to buy our big-ass recliner. And they had like a fucking little sumo match in there. And there's a Costco right there. So I foresee another trip to Industry City, stock up on snacks.

Let me come through with y'all. I would love that. You know, give to for our studio that we got going on. I'm not stocking our studio. I don't work there. I pass through there, barely. I do one or two episodes a week. Yes.

When I say studio, I'm in my place. I'm in my... You mean your studio apartment? Yeah. You mean... You mean... You mean when you pull the curtain to separate you from Duane's room?

That's what you call your studio. First of all, that's my first apartment. The one we're at right now. It's a beaded curtain. That is culture. Okay. Yeah, how dare you. That is also unc culture.

That is a beaded curtain, absolutely. That's Auntie. That's Auntie for sure. And that is the phase of life we're in, whether you like it or not. But, you know, and that is also another reason I wanted you guys here because I think I might have been the first episode in your new studio. Yeah. And it's, there was literally like Polish motherfuckers sawing and hammering outside while we were recording. I knew he was going to bring this up.

I was not going to be something that just happened. You're like, we'll forget about it. You wanted to bring us here to drag us. What is he? About unprofession. No, I didn't say that. He was over there telling me, he said, well, maybe you need to move it to the ride. And he was actually literally helping them with the lighting.

I was telling them how to light it. It was hilarious. But I've seen our episode, lighting's a little harsh. But we did some bangers, right? Well, the lighting was harsh for you. True. We look at me. Listen, what do you want for me?

What the fuck do you want for me? You want me to say, yeah, you got a white balance for some. certain skin tones. Hey, baby. We need a different, I needed a different gel on my shit. You should have made me orange or a little more tan or some shit. We had the Oprah Winfrey studio.

We did. That made Oprah look good and all the guests look dry. That is true. Glowing from the bottom is all ways up, you know? That is true. Next time I do the pot, I'm going to come just straight from grease, fresh tan. I think that'll help a lot. It was winter.

I was a little pasty. I wasn't outside very much. Your hair was long. That's all that matter. My hair was long. That's true. You haven't just gotten back from Arizona, I think. Oh, that's right.

You called me on my phone. Oh, man, you caught me right before my life fucking went in the, down the tubes. I know you told us about this. How do you feel? I'm pretty bad right now, to be honest with you. Because when I saw you guys, I just, I was like, damn, I'm going to completely change my life. I'm skipping the holidays and I'm doing a health retreat. Yeah.

And I come back from that. And maybe like right after I do your pod, I fuck my backup. And so. How are you fucking backup? Stop. You were trying to pick up a quarter? Since what am I fucking cheap I was about to make a joke

And I say you know what Not today How you hurts your back man? How about this? Pick up some wings Let's keep it fat at least You know what did you Did you drop your fucking Twix bar

Something like that I don't appreciate I don't appreciate being called cheap Call me fat that's fine But No I was I was fucking I was lifting weights And I just fucked it up

Oh is that is that what you're telling of you? That first of all Is that reason? I told you I fucking broke my arm on a scooter. I told you the truth about that. I was a skateboard. No, I was lying to you. We can't keep up.

That crazy. And you know what's Walsabi? He was on the pod and towards the end he was kind of like gloating about all the good things that was happening. I wasn't gloating. I don't know how they used the word. I don't know about me. Okay, okay. I'm obviously.

Gloting means, yeah, you fucking idiots. I'm doing movies. What are you doing? I didn't do that. I said, hey, I'm having a good time. You know, my shit's going good. Oh, that's what you did when I was on your pot with Duane. You were like, you don't know about filming.

You don't know about being on TV. You don't know about getting an apartment on your own. That's what you did when I was on. Your, my bad. That's fair. Me and Duane were double teaming you for a while. Can I get a part team in? Tell people, that's how you hurt your back.

You're D-Ping sick. Two guys, one girl. That's what. The only straight, that's a. hilarious threesome, a gay guy, lesbian and a straight guy. No one's having a good time. Actually, it was so fun.

That was a great pod. Yes, I was, I was just things were going well, and I was kind of like, something bad's going to happen, and it did. That's usually how these things go. Yeah. But it's all right. You're feeling good, something bad is going to happen.

It's all right. We're rebuilding. We're okay. We're doing all right. What's up with you, gals? I haven't seen you in a while. I like, Maria, I love the denim on denim. You both look great today.

Yeah. What do you got going on? This is this just your everyday look? Well, I do take a microdose of a mushroom gummy today. Ooh, respect. It's like a good day to do that. It's a beautiful day. It's like 80 degrees out of this motherfucker.

99 degrees outside. Yeah, yeah. You know, Marie is the only person that I kind of get FOMO from like drugs and alcohol. I won't lie. Right. You always make it like so chill and it's never like you're having to. Well, because I'm not doing crack. Yeah.

I'm not Lamar Odom with it. I don't know. Some of those weekends in Nevada sounded pretty cool to me. Doing a bunch of crack and running up at $800, like a $10,000 whatever tab at a high-end cat house. Wasn't he on like Viagra or something? And they were like, you're only supposed to take one and he took 12. He got it from the bodega, though. He didn't even get like the real Seattleis.

Like, what did you get from a pharmacist? What's that called? The stuff you get at the gas station? There are a couple different variants. There's, I believe Rino is one of them. Rinole. There's, um, uh, which one you use? Sree overlord.

Not street, Stree. And it's two, it's two characters from, um, I believe street fight are having sex with each other. That's what's on the one. Uh, there's,

Chung Lee and. Yeah, and I think it was Ryu. No, no, no. She wasn't getting a shit rocked by Blanca. Although, I bet if, yeah,

certain style of lovemaking, if that's your thing, I bet you Blanca would put you through the mattress, no problem. Let's rank street fighter characters on who fucks the best. The one who's got all the long arms. Dalcim can stretch his dick out. Dalcim is the best. Dalcim is the best. I would take him, but you're a little person.

Oh, yeah, yeah. An Indian sexy Indian lady, Dalcim, that would be nice. I would love that. Yeah, I would like to get my head crushed by Chun Lee, I think that would be cool. Those big thighs wrapping around. I'll take her toes right in my cooce. She was really done.

Now we're talking. Right on the clip. Right on the clip. You said it. I didn't get it, but now she's done. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. Her finisher would be a, it's kind of a clit tickler if you think about it.

Her finisher would be Sid's finish. Yeah. You finish her? I'm finished. I'm standing in the corner. like this. Round three. I'm like, girl, my car here.

I'm tired. Round two. No thanks. I need to take a nap. Round three, I'm already sleeping. The Uberit's is almost here. Okay, I'll eat your pussy until the wings are here. Whoa, okay, keep going.

We keep going. But then I'm done. Then I'm throwing on 30 rocket, smoking a joint. 30 Rock is your nightcap? Nothing wrong. Yeah, it actually is. Funny show. Is that on Hulu or Netflix?

It is now on Amazon, actually. They move it around a lot. There's too many streaming services. I know. I know, dude. It's fucking crazy. I don't want to check HBO and Disney and Hulu. I'm with you.

And pay for all of it. They want us to pay for all of it? We can't pay for all of it. That's why truly, I made a joke in our tech store, but I do believe Tooby is the people's streaming service. I fucking love Tube. It is. I fucking love Toby.

Speaking of things. on the horizon. To be free. Yeah. And that's why it's for the people. The people ain't got no money. No. And Marie's show is going to be on there.

Oh, yeah. I thought you were dragging me. No, no, no. No, I literally was saying, I was literally saying Tube is awesome. But is that, is that real? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. That rules, dude.

Yeah. Of my dating show. You just assumed it because she's black. No, I would have said Zeus network. Oh. If I was being racist, I would have said Zeus. Is it who's your God? Yeah, I know.

How about? Oh, a little cultural. appropriation the other way. Nice change for, nice change of pace. Well, black people Zeus is spelled with a dollar sign instead of a S. Zeus or extra S's. I love that.

Yeah, that's fucking awesome. So, uh, why, why are you single? Why are you single? Three episodes. Fuck yes, dude. That's what they bought. Dude, that rules.

That's fucking awesome. Yeah. Thank you. I wish I could fast forward through the whole process. And I was talking to my home girl and she was like, you only get one first time to do with the first time. Yeah.

So, savor it. That's perfect. That show is fucking awesome. You're great at it. And I honestly, I think I was shocked it took this long to get you on TV because that's a great idea. I'm also shocked. Yeah. I can't believe it to this long.

They're saving the best for last, you know what I'm saying? Because the whole thing is about to be shut down. So you might as well put. What's got to be shut down? I mean. Zeus? No. No.

You're talking to Natalie Nunning? No. But I do what I want. No, I think like, you know, the government. the world, all that. Yeah, it's just like, they're talking about another, what is it,

a Kuna Matata virus, like something. The Hanta virus. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what's that. Hanta Tanta. Yeah.

But that's all shit. I think that's all cruise ship stuff. They let them off the ship. Yeah. They walk amongst us now. That's tough. They went on a plane right after. That sucks, yeah.

And then they went to Grandma's, you know, birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's fucked up. It was like that one, remember, like, when COVID was starting and there was like one lady. who like got on a flight, went skiing, went to like a soccer game.

Like this bitch was like doing everything. Worked at a soup kitchen. You know what I mean? Like did everything discredit. It was fucking hilarious. Yeah. I feel like I've watched enough of those movies like 28 days later. Sure.

You know, it's always one person that's like, I haven't been bit and they got bit. The person who's always hide. Yeah, of course. Yeah, just the lady in the soup kitchen. Well, you know, I think we'll be all right. I think we'll survive hunt the virus. I don't even know what the fuck it is. I just can't even think about it.

What would you do if you had to lock down again? Oh, we're not. I'm not. I'm not looking down. I locked down before. I would move to Atlanta. I'll move to a red city where nobody cares. Atlanta is fucking blue.

What are you talking about? Florida. It's southern. It's the south. Yeah. I go to Texas. Florida's where you need to attack. Oh, Texas.

Florida, no. The gators got rights. Oh, okay. The gators got guns. I don't know. Listen, I'm saying right here. I'm not, I'm not listening to any of the rules. I'm doing whatever the fuck I want.

Because I did what I was supposed to do last time. And I ended up getting it anyway. So it's like I might as well just at least make out, come outside. If it kills me, then what am I supposed to do, stop? You're right. Come back here to the pod. Yeah. Do it as a ghost.

I'm just saying what if it's more, I just think this one they're saying is more lethal, but it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. It's not a. Yeah. And I'm saying that with literally. no knowledge whatsoever. And it's more of a hope. Because, yes, I also would blow my brains out

if I had to lock down again. And we got to lock down again? First of all, the kids definitely never going to learn how to read. And the way that they can't read now, they cannot read now. Well, they'll never learn. You're so right.

So, yeah, yeah, I guess I got to... I'm not... The thing is, is that I try to do the hobby thing. I try to, you know, make others happy, spread positivity, all that. How were you doing that? Oh, with my cooking show. Oh, I love the cooking show.

Yes, but stop ever again? I was on it, of course. Yes, he was. Do you remember what Sidney made when you were on Sid Can Cook? I was supposed to make something that was like from Vietnamese. What's the rolls? Spring rolls? Spring rolls or something like that.

Okay. So you had Stav on for that? Yeah, I had. Yeah. A light appetizer? Yeah. Yeah, what about some kebabs? We had them going for an olive, like, starter dish.

Top of an eye. Yeah, Taziki. I'm like, come on, Stav. We're going to make some Taziki. Tell me how to make that white sauce. Yeah, it's good. I honestly do have a nice Taziki method. I'm sure.

Now that you eat vegetables and stuff, and drink water, I'm sure you're Tziki's great. You call me when I was my most healthiest. I've been, like, depressed and, like, eating like shit. I've been eating okay, but no, not really any veggies. Stav, name three vegetables now. I can name three of them. It doesn't mean I ate them.

Name three. Zucchini, broccoli, spinach. Easy. Is spinach of vegetable? Yeah. It's a lagoon. No, it's definitely not a lagoon. You fucking dumb ass.

It's a green. I was like, A lagoon, baby. I was like, what's a lagoon? A lagoon? I was like, is that Haitian? Sid wants to do backstrokes and beans. And like,

legumes are beans and shit. Oh, I thought a lagoon was like somewhere that little mermaid was hanging out. That's a lagoon. With an end. We're saying lagoon. Lagoon. Oh, Lagoon.

Well, y'all wasn't saying it right. That's right. It was us. You're right. That's what I heard. Eldis, what's the exact definition of lagoon? Because it's a specific body of water. I love, this is a great teaching moment for all of us.

Lagoon or Lagoon? Lagoon, dumbass. See? He couldn't hear either. Y'all not pronunciated right. It's too much square footage in here. It is. Remember when we were in that box?

You motherbuckers don't happy with anything. I bring you a huge studio. Manhattan, I still have to hear it. We're working on the AC. We're getting the kinks out. He said we're getting the kinks out. Bring the blacks. You getting the kinks in this hair.

Back of the neck. That's where it's at. Elvis will comb it out. Don't worry about it. Full service. You don't know what a comb is. Yeah, I do. He's using his fingers.

I do that on my hair all the time. Yeah. I need a pick for my hair. hair. A pig? Uh-uh. Pick is not for you. Tell us what Lagoon is,

motherfucker. Who told you to editorialize right now? It's my one chance. You say, it's my time to shine. Yeah, Elda said, a pick and then looked at you like this,

hoping it would fly. Nah. Caught again. A shallow body of water separated from a larger body of water, typically the ocean by natural barrier. Okay. So it's like a really little.

Barrier Island or coral. Gotcha. Okay. That's fun. Now what's a lagoon? It's beans. It's not just beans. It's beefy greens. It's definitely not leafy greens. Let's see. It's not bean. All right, here we go. Here we go. Drum roll.

Any plant in the Fabah case family or insettable fruits. That produces seeds inside a pod. Well, give us seeds inside a pod. That's not spinach, dude. Give us a couple Sees inside a pod It's literally all fucking beans And green beans

And that type of shit Tomatoes and redos You name it Kidney Navy Yeah, Green beans Greenpeace No peace

Snap peas Oh Marie I hate when a black is wrong A black A black Let me get the pic So I can stab

Yeah I'll just take it out of your hair Please It's wrong I know he got one of those From the beauty supply store. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. I mean, listen, Eldis was, honestly, Eldis was my first friend. Eldis was a little immigrant child. He was like seven years old

with a mace poster on his bedroom wall. Oh, oh yeah. Eldis got me into rap when we were children for real. Big, big ditty head,

big bad boy head when that was an elementary school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was doing this. He still does. He's still a big supporter to this day. I love him more than never these days.

He's like, Like buying baby oil on behalf of Diddy. Yeah. I see it. I was a, I was a Mace fan. Obviously, a Diddy, but my real, the one that I was saw as a star, his name was Loon. You remember Loon? He was the hottest guy in the bad boy family.

Didn't he rap exactly like somebody else? Didn't he like? No. No, he didn't. Was the guy with a deep voice? He's like, how you want to tell me how you want to? Yes, he did. But he had an amazing lineup, beautiful ways.

He's very sexy tats. This is when you were a straight child. Yes, I was a straight child. I was in high school. I remember a very, very cold night. I made all of my friends get on the train and go to this random club in Midtown. And we waited on a long, long line. It was damn near snowing.

We got up in that bit for Loon. He was late, obviously. And we finally get in and we get to the front. I was like, I got to get there in front. When I tell you, he paid me dust the whole time. I was like, Lou, and I was the only one that knew all the songs. It was like three. A Loon super fan.

Yeah. And my friends were so mad. They were like, this performance was trash. He's bad. They only did it for me. When I tell you, they did not speak to me all 15 stops to get back to Hollywood. They were like, if you ever bring us out for something like that, we will not speak to you. Look what Loon's up to now.

He's converted to Islam. He's an imam now. That's something to laugh at. That he found himself. Absolutely. Okay? Absolutely. Lood is a black Israelite?

No, I think he's not. He's yelling at people on the street. I think he's the opposite of a black Israelite. He's Muslim now. But you're right, he was a piece of ass back in the day. Yeah, look at him. He wasn't into that, Marie? Oh, yeah, he's cute.

Marie, what were we talking? What were some of your formative crushes? Some people that I liked, I like Little Zane. Little Zane. I look at a celebrity. It is funny because kids will just laugh. to like a weird random member of a thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't even, he wasn't even in a group.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Calling me, calling me. Say my name. Losing! Yeah, I just, I love that song. He posted in a magazine and I pulled it out with his, he had abs. He did. Okay.

And I put it on my wall and I kissed the, his abs. He was very short. Very short. And I was one of my dad coming in one day and being like, what is this? I was like, that's my man. Poppy, where he? your abs. Asking your dad

where his abs is is diabolical. I'm like, I live a little life of a celebrity. My cousin, Nikki, her crush was

Jamie Fox when he was a singer. Wow. Yeah, his first album, she had a big-ass poster. Did Jamie Fox ever have abs? He probably did.

I know he was wearing a hat to the side. No, no. Wait, but he was already enacted. Like, I feel like he was a comedian

and then the Jamie Fox show I feel like he didn't put out music till he was already kind of an established. Because I love the Jamie Fox show where they just kind of like, they kind of just remixed like fresh prints a little bit where they gave him his own Carlton. You know what I mean? It was a great. I love that show.

Yeah. And it's on TV anytime I'm in a hotel. It's always on. He's getting tons of residuals. He's going to be forever. He's supposed to have another baby. What? Yeah.

He's having another baby by another white woman. Yeah. Kind of tough. It just feels. One of your people. One of your sisters. The pig took on a mind of its own. The pick said,

I was booing for you guys, not for us. I thought you were booing for you. You were booing black women? I thought you were going to be like, I would never. You know what I mean? Have a baby with a white woman? Eldous, unfortunately, is married to a white woman.

Oh, no, no. He's the move I'm listening. I know she don't watch. Are you kidding me? I can't imagine your wife watching a second of this podcast. Watching this and then getting wet? No way. No way.

She listened to the first ever episode when they came out. I was like, what do you think? She was like, no, it wasn't for me. Who was the first guest? Samaril. It was our first episode. It was a good episode. Why would she...

This is... Imagine if your husband and his dumb-ass best friend the stupid conversations they annoy you with when you're hanging out. If somehow they made a job out of it, how much that would annoy you?

Like every bad tendency a wife wants to beat out of their husband, eldest is paid very handsomely for. So we, you know, I get it. Very handsomely. Every episode we're on, he always saying how much... she hitting you off, Eldis, with money?

Not every episode. I mean, every episode I've been on you, but like, Eldis, shut up, I pay you. I'm like, all right. It's never that clear, but that is my intent. I've never said it like that, but that is what I mean. When you went to brunch today, did you use the corporate car? No, we had to actually ended up recording

because we got David Tell in here. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Today I actually ate Stav and Ari's leftovers out of the fridge after Stavlock for a break. Hey, you ate Ari's leftovers. I had all of my. bagel

leftover bagel. Damn. Are you being frugal this year? What's going on? No, I was just hungry and don't feel like stepping out.

Yeah, he was more, he was in scavenger mode. Honestly, I feel like if I was supposed to relate to anybody, it would be you.

I feel like, I'm the eldest, you were to sobby. That's not true. You are not in my backup. You didn't even know about saying, you know.

This is awesome because Marie, by supporting her friend is putting down eldest. No, no, you're not a stupid piece of shit like that. You'll push her white man. Great work, friend. Great work. That's fucking awesome.

Yeah, I love that. That is beautiful. Yeah, dude, I don't know. Let me see about, I think I was a big, I was the spice girls were my first sort of like. Who was just, who was your spice girl? Let me guess. Let me guess. Go ahead.

Baby? No. Really? Didn't care for baby. I was a ginger guy. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sica, sick.

Ah. She was hot. She's still hot. Well, you know what it was for me? I really think, like, I think about this, I think who framed Roger Rabbit changed the course of my life. Oh, Jessica Rabbit? I think Jessica Rabbit. I mean, everybody's so horny.

Because it's a movie about a little fucking, a little guy being funny, and he gets to, his wife is the hottest woman of all time. I really think that movie is basically my life. Like I saw that. I was like, whoa, that's how you get girls like that. And then, and then I had a middle school teacher who had red hair and had huge tits. And that just kind of cemented it. And so it went Jessica Rabbit into Ginger into my sixth grade teacher. And, you know, I think that's there for me. But what about now? Who's your Jessica? You know. Eldist? No, no, no, no. I'm looking at least. The hair is the problem. If he died of red.

Yeah, yeah. If he died at red. Okay, okay. If he picked out that afro and hit some relaxer, then maybe. He does have a four C. I love it. Eldis dolezol. He's using sacred.

I see it. For the edges. Yeah, I really think that's what it was. And yeah, I guess now you could say I'm searching for my Jessica Rabbit. You're searching. sure. Not actually. Why are you single?

You didn't meet one at Cannes? I would. Yeah, yeah. No, no one at fucking Venice was interested in me. They're like, we're the actual movies? They were like,

did I tell you the story where when I stepped out of the car, I was in the same car as Alicia Silverstone, and they literally thought I was a security guy. I was supposed to go, it was supposed to go Alicia, then me, and then Alicia went, and then I went to walk and they're like,

hold on, sir. And I was like, I'm in the movie. He's like, oh, okay. I was, I remember her being in the movie. She had a very small part in it. She played Plymouthan's mom in flashbacks. She was great in it, but she had a small part. I watched the movie.

I saw you on, I was on a flight. Oh, hell yeah, dude. I was in Delta. Nice. I want to say Delta One. It was like Delta One. It was premium select. Nice.

And I said, look at stuff. Yeah, hell yeah. We're a crabby cop. Thank you. Thank you. You need that. It was awesome. But yes, nothing going there.

But, you know, whatever. But what do you like, okay, so what are you looking for in this Jessica besides the big tits and the red hair. I haven't really thought past those things. It's really those two things. He wasn't going to have a nice personality. Yeah.

She don't even care if she can read. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's a it's not a deal breaker. Oh. I mean, listen, I think we're a little hard on everybody. Like in terms of what your type

is or what you want in a person. I mean, at this age, it's like hey, scale back a little bit. Sure, sure. Skip what back? Like, everybody's, oh, you want somebody tall or he's got to be so hot. No, they don't need to be all those things.

It's what about what they make you feel like. I like that. Well, they make me feel good when they look good. Marie. Please come to me already a little bit hot, okay? Because if you're ugly and or chopped and you mean to me and or you can't make me come, why did you come? Well, you can't.

It's kind of one of those like picks. You can't be. You can't be like mean, chopped in, not make people busts. But those are the ones that are doing it, though. There are all of those things. And they're like, they deserve, you know, a Beyonce or Giselle. So, Cindy, what side of the thing is you on now? Yeah, it's kind of.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's see. Now, when I was thinking about who I wanted, right? At first, like, I was. Did you make like a list of what you wanted a partner? A Ciaris prayer? Yeah, I did. Is that how she got Russell Wilson?

Yeah, she prayed. She did. She's a really good Christian. And then people are online like, Sierra, send us the prayer. And it's like, well, she's rich and hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So play to be that first. Totally, totally.

They're like, in order for the prayer where you got to actually be somebody else's prayer as well. Absolutely. You haven't qualified for this level of prayer yet. You're too busted for this level of prayer. And how much you've been tithing? Because maybe she put in a lot. So God put her in front of the line. That is true.

I feel like she did tithe a lot to get Russell. But for me, like when I think about who I wanted, like physically, I don't, I don't think my first, my girlfriend right now was the first thing that popped up. But she's all the other qualities. Right. But she obviously is attractive. Of course. And like, I'm very hot, but that's not what I want. Like I was like, oh, maybe somebody a lot darker than her and hair was different.

You know, you know, different feet. But like, different feet, you know. What's your girl got going on? No, no, no. You have your toes look like this? No, no, no. I'm the one with the fucked up toes in a relationship. Oh, I see.

Yeah. They call me one of us. Definitely. Definitely. So what I'm hearing is I got to find somebody with gnarly-ass toes. Honestly, she loves my fucked up toes. Like, she kisses them and rubs them. But she'll tell me like how bad they are while she's, you know.

She's keeping you grounded. Yes. But maybe somebody else's prayer was like, oh, they got to love. look, they got to have amazing toes. But then they would be missing out on somebody like me. Sure. You know? Right.

So that's why it's like, you got to. Who the fuck puts toes at the top of their list? Somebody with a foot fetish. Yeah, that's true. Somebody you don't want in your life. Yo, the first time I met somebody who had a foot fetish, I was in college. And we were in my friend's dorm, like a bunch of us hanging out. And this guy was sitting across from me.

And the way he was looking at my feet, I was like, this is how Dahmer looked at them little boys. I had on flip-flops. I was trying to tuck my toes. And he was like leaning in and he was like, oh, man. And I was like, I just sit on my feet. I was like, I need to leave. Well, I'm a feet person and Marie has really good feet. I got to tuck my toes on this.

You have nice nail beds that the bottom of your feet are white. Like, you're very nice. They are white. You're doing colorism for foot pads? No, no, no, no. No, no. No, no, no, no, stop. You got him too fucking comfortable now.

The bottom of my feet are real. I'm just asking you. The bottom of the feet will make you some good gumbo. Yeah. Yeah, but the bottom of her feet are so white, it's like they pay their taxes on the time. And yet, they don't. I'm going to jail. Going to jail.

But my feet. You're going to wake up in a fucking, in a hospital bed next to Sydney. She's going to have your feet. No. She's going to do a foot transplant. No. The doctor's going to be What's the dude?

The dude from Kill Bill. Oh, yeah, yeah. Tarantino. She's like, Marie, don't think that of me. But, you know, it is one of those things where I look at women. I'm like, do I want them or do I want to be them?

Or do I want to be a part of them? Like, I don't know. But when I see your feet, it's not like a sexual thing. But it's definitely like, damn, I wish my feet look like yours. Right, right. For sure. I've never had foot envy before. Well, if I show you my feet,

right. What happened? You want me to show you my feet? No. On the Patreon. We got to put that behind the paywall. I was like, hey man, do you want it or no? I do, but for your sake, no.

I think it would make a great clip, but I don't want these animals having access to your feet. Oh, but maybe. I'm trying to be a good friend. Maybe I want them so maybe they'll send me something. Listen, listen. They're going to send you a doctor, babe. A foot doctor. A podiatrist, Murray.

That's what it's called. A podion removed. A link for a good bunion guy. Well, now I want to show my teeth. Well, now I want to clear my name. They're not that bad. Girl, you posted them on close friends, and your close friends said, hey, take me out the closer. Yeah, they did.

They really did. They said, no, no, bitch. Enough is enough is enough. They said, if you want to be this close, we're not that close. We're rather seeing Ariola than a toe. Of course. You should be posting

your nudes in close friends. A hundred percent. Really? I don't, but the thing about close friends is that you can't trust them. They're close but they're not trustworthy close. Cindy, you got too many people in your close friends.

I got about a hundred now. Like, you know what I'm saying? Because some of the people, you got to, in order to make them feel closer to you, you got to put them into close friends. You got to send them.

You're weaponizing close friends. Yes. I'm back to say everybody everybody out my close friends and just put Rihanna in my close friends. You should do that. And I've told you this. Post feet.

Yeah. And I've told you this. Once you put somebody in your close friends, they can't get out of their close friends unless they unfriend you. Oh. Interesting. So if you do that, she'll be in it. And she won't even know. That is she's just having them.

She's going to leave. No. We're going to leave her out. Your close friends are, you keep it very cute in your close friends. You're not doing too much. Yeah. You got close friends? I don't.

I should. You just put all your business right here on the part. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. I think I will. I just will just because, yeah, now I don't really use Instagram at all because it's become unusable. But if I have close friends, then I can at least, you know, keep tabs with the people

I actually want to interact with my actual friends. Somebody else is using your Instagram? No, I mean, I use it. I just don't check it that much. Like, it's not a good way for me to like, I mean, yeah, people, like, we have people who post clips and stuff. Okay. I'm the only one who, like, looks at my messages, but I really don't check them that much

anymore because there's just, you know, it gets to a point where it's unusable if you have, if it's just, like, too many people. Yeah. So, wow, what a fucking flex. He said he's famous for y'all. No, you guys too. It's fucking like, anytime you have like any, if you're popping at all, it's like, if you have like over 10,000, it's fucking hard to even keep track with that shit.

I think. I check all my messages. I don't respond. I'm trying. I keep refreshing. Yeah, yeah. I'll be like, I'll circle back. Yeah.

I'll screenshot and be like, I'm going to respond. That's so much more work than just responding. I know. Immediately. But it's right. It feels like, now I gotta have a dialogue with this person. Right. But you should do that because actually, good news, guys, I went to a sober convention this weekend.

Oh, shit. Hey, yeah. Respect. You said that wasn't good? I said, that doesn't sound like good news. That's good. Start the conversation. But yes, my friend is sober.

You went to a sober convention. I think it's good. It is good. Thank you. And it was like, water on the rocks. Come on. We can't get her drinking again. Yeah.

Support her, please. Remember? Remember what happens when she relapsed? She starts dating guys. I was sober when I did that. Don't fucking do that. Don't blame it on drugs and alcohol. That was my bad decision.

Dating a man is sober. Okay. My heart was hurting. And so was my pockets. I also was poor, Marie. You know what the deal was. One more reason to date a man. Anyways, sober convention.

I'm doing like 45 minutes. And after the show, this guy was like, oh and he had came to another show that I had recently he's like stalker no fan okay good guy he said you actually are the reason why I started my sobriety journey and he messaged me he showed me all the messages we had and I even told him I was like oh yeah keep doing it you know I just went through a relapse I you know it set me back about for like two years but I'm back in it and I have been writing to him and I I completely forgot I didn't even know what I was writing, but it was all positivity.

You're on pills. And he showed me up until like now. Whoa. And I was like, look at me. That's big. Yeah, that's awesome. Sometimes you don't. You don't know, yeah.

You don't know who you're affecting and who you're making their day brighter and better. So sometimes you got to responding to the messages. Yeah. This guy just wanted to, this guy just wanted to smash. And just by. He was gay. Oh, okay. He was so homosexual.

Wow. That's so homosexual. That's beautiful. You should have. Should have led with that. Yeah, yeah. A guy came up to me at the soap. That's way more impressive to get a gay guy to stop, you know,

a party gay got to stop doing drugs. That's huge. Is that what it is? Yeah. That's big. Yeah, they really, they really do the ones. Because straight guys, it's like, you get three DUIs. You're like, all right, time to stop drinking.

But gay guys can do cocaine forever if they wanted to. Yeah, but. I keep them young. Sober convention feels like people who are working on themselves, straight men don't do that. So it's mainly gay men at the convention. Like I said, we just got, we just have to. hit an extreme rock bottom.

Like, for example, I weighed 350 pounds at 5.7 and I was like, all right, time to clean this up. That's your bottom. Time to stop. Now, was it really 350 or was it a little bit more? It was probably a little bit more because that was the first one I weighed myself. So it was probably like

at least 360 at times. And I would, that's a tough. I was basically spherical. You could basically roll me places at that point. You was in your Humpty Dumpty. That's right You're in your shallow hell Yeah, yeah

I was I was like if both characters of shallow hell were one person I was like Being big has never stopped you For making any money That is true So it's like why would you stop

Elders did you ever say anything to him Were you like damn man I was getting pretty fat myself The thing is me and elders Are very codependent So we had other friends telling both of us You die, we die together. Yeah, for sure.

Me and elders are going down the same. Exactly. No, no, he's got a much better. Look, Eldis couldn't handle this. The Lord gave his harder battles to me because he knew Elders would crumble if he was 5, 7, 350. Yeah, I've been pushing the limits of what I get away

with with my height in the last few years. Yeah, that's true. But after you got married, you know what I mean? You were tall, you got a girl by being tall. you had nothing else really to offer. You know what I mean? He had this job with full benefit. Yeah.

And he said, disdick. There's no benefit. There's no benefit. Let's be very clear. You want to have dental? Elders is technically an independent contractor. I'm a small business owner. Stop is my client.

That's right. That's right, buddy. Exactly. I'm your client. Huh? You incorporated? Yeah, he got a little something. Yeah.

We got a lot of tax shelters going on. Eldis has Sula enterprises out of Barbados. He takes a spirit flight Twice a month and puts bags of money In Barbadoshire count I love that Spirit rest in peace That's true

Ooh did we Do anybody take a memorable spirit flight? I've never flown spirit No me neither You don't do that Eldis Yeah I've done a couple Spirit flights

You're the only spirit guy Yeah how did Yeah Utilogize them man I don't remember I mean Spirit's gotten a very bad rap One time they've

fully canceled a flight. We were going to take on like July 4th. I remember that. Like the day before July 4th. You borrowed my car, right? Yeah. You had to borrow my car to drive to Ohio. Yeah. On 4th of July?

No, we drove to Michigan, but yeah. They like canceled. Worse. They like 2 hours before. Yeah, that was crazy. On the day of fair, Delta be doing that too. Yeah. A full cancellation is crazy.

Full cancellation. And they didn't say we'll get you out on something else. No, they're like, you have to wait until tomorrow at 6. They're like. Yeah. Well, wait. what happened to us when we're in LA, this was insane. They kept pushing back the flight all day.

Then we finally get there, push, push, push. Then we get there like, oh, your plane is here, but we can't get on. And then the lady on the intercom, you know, no offense, but English not that well. And she's like, if you live in L.A., go home. Like, just go back home. Holy shit. Come back tomorrow. And it's like, what if I don't live here?

I got stuff to do in New York. But honestly, a lot of people left. I guess they were from L.A. They left. Jesus Christ. And so we ended up waiting for another plane and waiting. And then we finally get on. We get on the fucking plane, y'all.

And we're waiting and we're like, and then we see the wait. Hold on. We get bumped up to first class. Delta one, babe. Oh, no. They put that from you. Delta one. Oh, my God.

I should have known. I was like both of us. Like, if you got upgraded, okay. cool, but both of us, I was like, there's no way they were... You're like, I'm bronze medallion. I'm gold, bitch. I'm sitting in the pilot's lap, man. I'm gold.

Rosebud gifted me the gold medallion. Shout out to her. Okay, shout out to Rosebud Baker. Shout out to Rosebud for sure. In my top white, top five white. Okay. I don't know spirit had medallions. No chance.

They didn't have snacks. They had aluminum. You could get aluminum status. Yeah. loosely steady. Anyway, the screen's where I work in that the flight attendants needed. And then the pilot comes out and he's like, there's no food for first class.

Are y'all cool with us still taking off? And everyone on the plane was like, yeah. And I'm like, well, I ordered the lasagna. We ordered that. We're on the plane for an hour. An hour. They make us get off. They said, we'll try getting tomorrow.

Wait, but before that, the flight attendants are running back and forth. They're not telling us shit. They're just looking like panicked and stressed and weird. And it's like, so you're not going to tell us anything. They're like, oh, we actually can't tell you what's going on until we figure it out. It's like, hey, bitch, we need to know what's going on. Because I'd rather just get off the plane. Of course.

While you're figuring it out. I was not getting off the plane. Yeah. I said, I'm going to sit here. You got to ride that out. Ding, hey, bitch, what's going on? I had my slippers on. I had a blanket on my body.

Full recline. My anxiety is not going to let me do that. I had a, I was just, I just flew in from Atlanta and, uh, I was in the fucking lounge. Like, I missed my first flight, long story. It was annoying. And I'm in the lounge for a while. And, uh, the fucking sirens in the airport start going off. And it's like, an emergency has been reported in the building.

An emergency. And I'm like, a fucking airport emergency? I'm like, is fucking, now I'm thinking, is hent the virus fucking spreading in Atlanta? Is there a fucking shooter? You know what I mean? And so I'm like, fuck, I'm going to die in this fucking airport because my driver took the wrong, took like four wrong turns in a row.

I almost wanted to kill myself. Instead, they just said nothing happened. I never heard anything about it. I wonder what the emergency was. They kept it real quiet. I don't know if there was, but. It was a trafficking emergency. The day before a guy rushed through TSA,

like just ran through and breached and they like fucking tackled him. But, you know. Now what's the plan here? You think you're going to get to your gate and on your flight before TSA. And his mug shot was hilarious because he had like a like a like a like a like a like like a like a like a like a like a loose ass undershirt.

It looked like it looked like you. Do you remember that one picture of that fucking one Iraqi guy with that crazy scoop neck that they. Yes. You know the one I'm talking about. You know the one I'm talking about dude. It looked like this. Yeah.

It was fucking crazy. He looked like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He said this is Albuquerque. This is vintage avicrole.

Y'all going to get this. shirt. I just don't understand why people lose their mind at the airport, but then the airport does stuff for you to be like, okay, this is why I'm losing my mind. Because the way they kept pushing it back, it was like, and then they gave us a fucking voucher for $12. I was like, hey, Delta, anything in here that I want to eat is not going to be $12. Right. I could get a pack of gum for $12. And I still have to pull money out of my pocket. Yeah. The rest of it. Well, fuck, you know, Delta for that, for treating my friends that way. You don't care about us.

I do. How dare you? I know you got your own plane or whatnot. No, no. You got a tour bus or something. I got a bus, but I don't. I rent it. Thank you very much.

I rent the bus. Okay. I still take flights. I'm one of you guys still. I'm a commercial flight. I'm just like you guys, man. It hasn't changed me at all. You haven't posted a photo on a private jet yet?

No. I feel like I've seen that. No. I had one, I've written in a private jet once. It was the Puma Jet to be a part of Paris Fashion Week. That's the only time I've written enough. But I'm still just a regular guy. Was that crazy money or like was it worth it?

Yeah, it was from Mateo. It was just cool as shit. It was like the money was okay. But it was like you get to be, I was like I get to be a model in fashion week. That's the funniest thing I've heard in my life. It was for Kid Super. It was for Kid Super. Shout out to Com.

They still think your security. They're like, oh yeah. No, they were not happy to see me there at all, dude. If you think, I think I might, I really probably am the fattest model ever in Paris Fats because that was in the 350 that was in the retond the extra rotund days. And Kit Super has a lot of bold print. He was so mad at me dude. He was like

he was like you're so you're fucking he was like nothing I make fit you was like you ask me. I was like why did you fly me to Paris to body shame you fucking piece of shit? He just saw your numbers he was like yeah get him in here. Yeah and then he fucking he literally I've said this before the way I he made a track suit

out of a medium and a large he fucking sewed he sewed two jackets together. He sank and signed a jacket seat. That's how bad I was. I need to find this photo. Yeah, we see that. But then he didn't let me keep it, you motherfucker.

What's that about? Now that's shy ste. Who the fuck else is going to wear that? Literally. It's literally made for my... He said, this could be three smalls. Yeah. You know he untacked all that shit.

He said, no, no, we got to put it back to what it was. We're going to make seven baby tracks suits out of this. You got to see Drewski wearing that one day? He's going to host of BT. Fuck. Yeah, anyway, well, look, we're, you know, we have a lot of coming off these travel experiences. We've all attained a lot of wisdom here. Yes.

Our fans love hearing from you. So, Elders, you know, without, let's start some questions. Maybe in the meantime, anything we want to plug specifically, this will come out in June, like maybe late June. This is coming out for Juneteenth. Oh, yeah, maybe it's our Juneteenth episode. Don't give them any ideas, Marine. This is me and Alex for Black History. Oh, my God.

But it ended up air, oh, yeah, we did. We, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was going to air in. March and they were like, no, we're doing, we're doing Black History Month, which was almost, we accidentally did all black guests. And then I had my, maybe my white, one of my whitest friends, a Canadian, extra white. He kind of broke it up. Terrible.

Because he was probably. I bet that was the lowest one. No, it did really well. He's a very talented director. Oh, God. Shout out to Matt Johnson, who directed Tony in theaters soon, I think. Shout out to Drake. Drake released three albums.

What is that? Yeah. I don't know. He had the time, you know? What else was he doing? I know. I would have... I really wish he'd just come out with one album of pure bangers

and didn't rehash the beef. It's like, dude, you make awesome. Just remind us why you're the man. Don't talk about this shit again. But anyway, I digress. This is not a rap podcast. Yes, you're right. My favorite lyrics.

This is not Mesa's podcast. No, which is a great podcast. Oh, my God, that rant about... He's telling people to just give him. up. It's so funny. He's not wrong. He's not wrong.

He's not wrong because it's okay to pivot. The problem is nobody wants to pivot. Everybody's like, no, if I just keep going. Some things you have to keep going, like living. But other, like jobs, things that you don't have to. You can't sing. But then you see Addison Ray, you know, billboard everywhere, dropping a new album.

She's young. Yeah. She's young. You can't be like, I've been grinding since I was 12. 12 years old. Hey, the rap thing not going to happen for a little. No, no, yeah. He's like, if you're, what is he's like,

if you're 40, you have a record deal, he's like, it's time to give up. He was like, he was like, yeah, it's, which is a very funny take, he's right. Yeah. The idea is like, you've only, the only people who don't make it are the people that quit. He's like, that's not, he's like, some people should quit. Anyway, look up the, look up, look up, go watch a better podcast. Yes, yes.

Go watch Cameron and May. After this. After this. After this. After this. After this. Okay. For Juneteenth.

Do you have something to promote? Yes? No. No? Okay. What about you? I will be in Edinburgh. Oh.

I'll be in Scotland with my show. My Black Barbie story. I love it. It would obviously bottle girl hits, crazy childhood stories all reenacted by Barbies. For an hour. I could do this hour. It's been over an hour. I'm not going to do it.

By the time I get there, it will be an hour. Come see me. Get the tickets. You know, it won't be that many black people there. So you might as well come to my. No, we're going to need the Irish to show up to Scotland. Yeah, show up for another black queen. The most repressed white, the most oppressed white people, we're going to need you guys.

We're going to need you. We need you to activate your family. Tell them, sis. You know what, let me message her. Yeah, get a story repost. Let me see what she said. Play us a little, fucking couple questions here, LD. Hey, stop.

I actually just left the voicemail, but I realized it was really, really, really confusing. Okay. So here's the situation. I was adopted when I was a kid. I did a 23 and me found my biological family because I was looking for my dad's side. Always knew my biological mom's side. So I do the 24 and me find all my family or connect with them. I meet my biological grandfather on my mom's side. We're all close. Everything's going great. And then I found out the 23 me got updated and a man popped up. that is supposedly my biological grandfather on my mom's side, but that's not my grandfather. Like, that's not her father that she knows of.

So I did a lot of digging. I went through all these, like, old news articles. I went through, like, divorce records and things. Long story short, my biological mother's mother had a whole second family, well, possibly third family out in, like, Texas and California. And so the grandfather that popped up on the 23 meeting is most likely her actual biological grandfather and she, her biological father, and she doesn't know that. You can kind of tell, like, they don't look alike.

She looks a lot like her mom. But, yeah, it's a whole weird situation. And since I was, you know, adopt that version given up from the family, I don't know if it's my place to go, hey, that's not your dad, like this actual man is because I don't want her to go through the same thing I would do. But, like, at the same time, she should know that that's not her actual father, right? Like, yeah, so I don't know what to do. I'm, like, freaking out, man.

23 of me is ruined. I mean, this is crazy. It's like not only is the government now just has your DNA, they're going to sell that shit to palanteer at some point. Not only is that a problem, but it's like how much just old-fashioned cheating did it ruin? The mom had a second family? I respect that, by the way.

I'm happy for the mom. Shout out to the mom. That is hard to do. I guess she just wore very loose clothing for all the six months. That's two dinner if she got to cook? Yeah. No, she was being a deadbeat mom. I promote that.

Yeah. So good for her. I'm also not mad at that. Yeah. Breaking the glass. We do love when we hear about female dirtbags on this podcast. Yes. It promotes equality.

Women in male dominated industries. And women in STEM. Pop off, you trashy, bitch. Yes. But also it's like, why? Y'all so fucking nosy, like, for the wrong things. It's like, does it matter? I know what you mean.

Like, imagine if, me right now at this age, being like, you know what? I just want to know who my dad is. I would never. Right. Because, you know, architect's Maury. No.

Holy fuck. I would love to do it. You are not the father with you. I would love to try and find your, I mean, if you don't want to, obviously, I'm just saying in a world where you wanted it,

you got to admit that would be, I get to be morey. That would really do numbers. And of course, this is not, you know, you're literally saying like, you're being very vulnerable

and saying, I don't want to, You're like, wait, what about the retweets? Imagine the clip. I would do it for the content. I would do it for the content. But for me personally, what would me finding my father now do for me? I'm already, like, phased out of caring.

You know what I'm at the age where it's like... But if you had a rich dad all this time, you would get your trust. He would not give me that money. He would find a way. He'd get me murdered. He's like, I'm not giving her this money. Yeah. I would get murdered.

Jesus Christ. That's the first. That's the first. first thing you're thinking of? Yes, because when men don't want to give up their money, they murder. And when they don't have any money, they still murder. Like, in either way, they're going to find a way to murder. So no, I don't want to deal with that. But... Sure. But I understand what you mean where it's like, look, when you're an adult, when you're a fully formed adult, like, it's even somebody who, like, because this situation is not even that, right?

Like, yours is a, like, this person knows who her father was. Yes. Had her mom. So she's talking about her mom, right? Her mom knows. Those who are fought, like, she grew up her entire life. This guy's my dad. If it's, like, you're not gonna, you're not gonna, exactly, she's not gonna have a relationship with this fucking guy who's about to die in fucking Arizona or wherever the fuck.

So I do see it from that where it's like, you know, what, like, what's the point of stirring shit up right now? Because if I was in those, like, if I found out a different guy was my dad, I would not give a fuck at all. He wouldn't care. I would, I would not, like, for even,

And I don't have a great relationship. I mean, me and my father have, like, have had a rocky relationship in the past. But he is my dad. Good or bad. That's my dad. That's the guy who raised me. That's who I think of as my father.

That's who I still love. Like that. That should be your show. That's my dad. A half hour comedy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's my dad.

But he's like, that is my dad. And then it's like three men and a baby, but it's like, it's basically like a like a scumbag mama Mia. Uh-huh. Where it's like, who were these, like, there's like a shitty, there's like a low-level drug dealer, a pawn shop owner, a diner owner. A guy on a cliner, the whole movie.

We should do white trash mama-mia. That's a good idea. Yeah. You do it. Will there be singing? Yeah, maybe. No. Maybe blowing into a jug.

Or playing the glasses. That's cool. The theremin. The theremin? Hell yeah, dude. I feel like if your mom gave you up for adoption, you should tell her that she was adopted. to do. Hey, you didn't want me. They didn't want you neither.

If you were being petty, yeah. Sure. That would be, yes. If you're, like, that's the thing, you don't fucking know this lady. No. You know what I mean? It's like, if you wanted, did she say if she wants a relationship? She said no, right, Elders? Yeah, she didn't really say. This is, she's,

she's basically saying like, look, my biological mom who I have no real connection to, I found out that her dad through date, by the way, this girl sounds like a real fucking sleuth, by the way. She is. I'm not that. I was. I was respect that. She's legit a little detective. And now she's like, she should know, right?

By the time she said this, she probably already told her mom. She did it. Yeah. Yeah. I just think if, yeah, I think especially, like I'm trying to think if this happened to my mom, who I, my biological mom who I grew up with, it's a little different because it's like I have a real relationship with her. I just wonder, it's because it's her decision.

I mean, I guess it depends like, how old is this person? and how old is the other person, right? If it's someone at the end of the other. They're old. They're pretty, yeah. I don't know that I would even tell my... They're over 30. They're old.

Yeah. I feel like she, like, set off to learn something about herself. And now she's just like, it's like going from this self-discovery thing to like she's learning like family intrigue and like drama. Of a family, it's not hers, by the way. It's like, like I'm on this, this has come up a couple times on the show. I'm firmly a believer that the people who raised you, the people you're around. Yes.

That's your family. Yeah. Right. Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut is definitely raised me. Every time I went there, every Friday. You know how to read. Those mini pizzas, remember that shit? I read so many books that I would never have

because they promised you a mini pizza if you read a book. Remember that shit? Shout out to Pizza Hut for helping our literacy. No child left behind. Yeah. They did a much better job than the George Bush administration. Pizza Hut absolutely taught more kids to read than George's Bush administration. without question.

Wasn't George Bush reading a book to the kids when 9-11? Of course, the famous meme where some guy whispers in his ear and he's like, and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. A second tower is at the building is what I think they told them. I don't know what book he was reading. You can find that. I think that's public knowledge. It's a book called Trust Everything the Government Tells You.

Kids, if something crazy happens and believe whatever the government says is the official explanation. There was goosebumps and it was a tower. He was reading a children's book titled The Pet Goat. The Pet Goat. It's definitely something fucking Bush would read to kids. I wonder if the salesman a book went up after the towers went down. That's interesting. No, it was the same as glitter.

Like it's just bad promo. Bad timing. Oh, right. Glitter did get fucked. Every time. Which JZ album came out that day? Yeah, one of the JZ album came out that day? It was a huge one.

It was a reasonable doubt. But it didn't get it. Blueprint. No, I don't know. In fact, I've heard so many stories of guys in New York being like, I was really annoying. The trains were all fucked. I still had to go,

and I had to go get the album. People were like, I was going to get it to Tower Records. Which one was it? It was the blueprint. Damn. It did do really well. They were listening to it in the sky.

Yeah. Ribbon in the sky. Wow, the blueprint. The blueprint coming on on 9-11. There's something very powerful about that. About like, anyway. So, yeah. Yes, tell the mom or don't do it?

No, don't do it. You know, it's like, yeah, this is not your responsibility at all. At all. Maybe if these people raised you and you knew about this drama and you understood their, whatever. But it's like, I just don't think, first of all, if you want to, I wouldn't blame you. If you're like, hey, we don't really know each other. I just felt like you needed to know this.

I just think, what's the upside or downside for you? what is the upside here? Hey, save it till Thanksgiving and or Christmas. Yeah. When you, your mother, your biological mom have a big fight. Throw it in her face. But they don't know each other, right? Get your plate to go and go.

She was just looking for to find that. Right? Elders, didn't she say she was just trying to figure it out? I mean, this is her second attempt at it, and this still was a little confusing even to me. I think she found out, and then 23 and me was like, oops, you made a mistake. Yeah.

But also, how much are we believing the accuracy of 23? Oh, smart. Cheaters across the world are trying to pull this right now, by the way. They're like, how can we even trust these people? Who's the blonde lady that's in jail that was like pretending she was fixing people's... Elizabeth Holmes.

Right, yeah, yeah. So 23 and me... No, 23 and me, actually, this... That bitch was like, oh, one drop of blood. I could tell you everything about you ever. And people are like, hmm, yeah, good, good, good, good. Here's a billion dollars. Yeah, exactly.

Damn, it's crazy how, how dumb money works in this country. Really dumb. We need to put a head together, but we're a good scale. You do. Yeah, but we're... black friend that's not going to be the same arrest you could i mean they're going to be asking all the questions that's a good point yeah that is they see us with this hairstyle they're going to be like oh no no no no sid how about we get rosebud and mill

involved she's got some connections to the defense department you know what i mean we make it an anti-missile thing rosebuds is the face of your scam you know what i mean definitely has the face for it and those bangs yeah yeah yeah i like this is a great one or or me and cindigney go full white White chicks. Let's do white chicks, Marie. We hit up Druski's makeup artist. Who is unbelievable, by the way. Yeah, unbelievable.

Yeah. Very frightening, but so good. Yeah, yeah, very uncanny. It doesn't matter what nationality he's trying to be. He looks ugly in every single. He's busted. He's nailing it, though. Yeah.

We got to get Druski on the pod. I would love to, yeah. We almost did one time a couple years ago and just the timing didn't work. Yeah. But, but yeah, Drewskiy's a, I would love to have him on. Yeah. We got, Juski, if you're listening, and I know you're not. You never know.

You're welcome to come on. Anytime. I'm a huge fan. I mean, he really, and I love the tradition of, like, it kind of is a, like, it's Eddie Murphy, Dave Shap, like, the white face is kind of a tradition in black. Like, Eddie Murphy's original white like me sketch is so fucking funny and good. And then, and Chappelle's like, almost like gray newscasters fucking hilarious. And Jusky is crushing it.

in that record. Like, there's, there's, shit is so good. It's always going to hit, you know? It was, it was in Erica Kirk's inbox. Oh, yeah. They was like, oh, sis, have you saying this? Yeah, that was, you know she had to turn her phone on. That's a tough one, yeah, yeah. That's a tough one, man. Well, you know she has Google alerts. You know that. Yeah, yeah, probably. She is that girl. Probably, yeah, yeah. Somebody on her team does, for sure. No, it's specifically her. I think she wants to hear that thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She gets off to that. Probably, yes. It certainly seems that. It hasn't, it hasn't been a, uh, it hasn't been a, uh, a subtle couple, you know, six months or whatever.

But anyway, yeah, Drewski, come on. You can be in white face. You can be in Latino face. Actually, let's keep it to white face. Latino face. You know what? You know what? Actually, a great Latino skit would be if he just got like a wig and like had Dominican

hair. Oh. And he just did like, he kind of did that. He kind of did like Godfrey's, uh, I know black character. I know black. I put that at least one. One of the, one of the most. I know black.

I mean, a really gift. comedian just nails someone in like two seconds and that we all know those guys the NASCAR sketch was so good yeah it was very good I mean he literally he literally he looked at it and he also had that I also loved the

the first one he ever did where the white face was kind of it was experimental was like the white rapper do you see that one that one's fucking hilarious he really nails those guys he might have that makeup himself yeah yeah yeah yeah it was in the you know the working out the tweaks that looked more like Chappelle's like gray face

makeup. But it was, it was really good. Anyway, next question, Mr. Sulla. Uh-oh. Holy shit. What's going on? It's time to get to... You know what time is worried.

Fuck. Keep it twisted, folks. That's right. Come on, BBC's in by. We forgot... Sorry, we don't have our twisted cats today. We're moving into the studio. We'll have them soon.

But now it's time for our motherfucking ass. twisted-ass fucking question of the week. Brought to you by Twisted Tea. And you know what? Let's crack a little twisted tea, you know? That tea big as hell. Yeah, it really is.

Mm. God damn, this shit is honestly so good. This shit tastes so good. Anyway, it's the twisted-ass, fucked-up-ass, question of the week, of course. And this summer, it's extra twisted and motherfucking ass fucked up

because we got the summer party pack, baby. We're talking original. half and half rocket pop and the new twisted lemonade. Yeah. And a really nice element that I love. That's right. The new twisted lemonade, it comes in a rad color changing can, and is only available in the summer party pack.

Oh. Ooh, you got to keep it extra twisted with this new summer party pack. Play us in, Elvis. What are we got? What up, Stavre, Eldis, esteemed guest, longtime listener, first time caller. Here's what's going on. One of my best buddies is moving.

back to town after being gone for a few years, really stoked to have him back. He did mention that he's not going to have a car when he moves back because he quit his job that gave him a company truck. So him and his fiance are only going to have one vehicle without thinking about it. Suburbs big time. Only one car. Without thinking about it or hesitating, I offer to let him buy. my second vehicle so he can get to work and just to drive around until he can save enough cash to buy a whip.

You're a good friend. Here's the problem. My buddy is a terrible fucking driver. He doesn't like getting a bunch of accidents or get a bunch of tickets, but I've ridden with him enough to know that he drives aggressively. He speeds everywhere he goes. he breaks harshly, accelerates harshly. Okay. He just really hard on the vehicle.

Second vehicle. And the second vehicle is an old truck that I recently just bought off my grandpa. It's an old Ford Ranger. Those are cool trucks. Super low miles. Super clean. And I had plans to turn it into like a little camping rig for the summertime. I'm starting to have second thoughts about letting him borrow the truck.

No shit. because I just know how hard he is on vehicles and how much wear and tear he's going to put on this thing. I saved, you know, I worked really hard to save up the cash to buy this truck. It has sentimental value. It's my grandfather's truck. Why did you give it to him? I would really hate to see something happen to it or have him just put a lot of wear and tear and miles on this vehicle. It stays in my garage.

I drive it maybe once a week on the weekends. I'd like for it to stay nice and last me a long time. Let me know you think I could do. Should I tell him I change my mind? Should I just bite the bullet and let him borrow the truck and hope for the best? This is one of my best friends. I would do anything for him. But I don't want him to fuck up my shit.

So let me know what I should do. Thanks. Interesting. Not very, not as twisted as I'd like, Eldis. Eldis really phoning it in today. I thought he was like, oh, he's moving back home, but when he was gone, I fucked his ex-girlfriend or something. That would have been twisted.

This is basically a, I regret offering my friend, my shitty second-beater car, which, you know, I get that. I think probably people, I bet, I think some of our friends would feel this way about eldest. I think, imagine if Straight George offered you. vehicle. I've used his car before. He's lent it to me. Yeah, but he

hasn't been pumped about it. Oh, he was fine. I did call him because I thought I fucked up his bumper and scratched it up real bad. And I told him about it a couple days after it happened. He was like, oh, it was like that already. I was like, oh, thank God. But at least you showed him

that you're honest. You're like, if I did do it, it was me. Exactly. That's dope. I think he was in, his heart was in the right place. It's like, this is my best friend. We do that all the time. Just the other day, somebody asked me to do, like a good friend of mine, asked me to do a gig. And I said, yeah, of course, didn't ask where it was, what the timing,

how much is going to be. Then come to find out, it's going to be like 10 hours for $200. Hey, buddy, why did you think I would be available for something like this? Because you said yes. I know. But it was like, my friend. Did you weasel your way out of it? What did you do it?

People kept hitting me up about like, what's my size and this stuff? And I was like, ah, can y'all make it letters? later in the day, like blah, blah, blah. And then eventually I thought I confirmed with them. And then I was like, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. They're like, hey, we went with somebody else. That's how. Yeah, nice.

God is good. Yeah. God is good. Yeah. Thank you. That's nice. Like, for the you, like, what would I do? Like, okay, like, let's say I fucking was, like, yeah, you can give it a click.

What does this do? It just locks it. Oh, okay. Yeah. I've been given an opportunity to move it now. My arm is, I have motion. Now you can jerk off? I can, well, it's my left hand.

I'm still, I've luckily have been able to jerk off this whole time. You got this little exoskeleton. I do, I do. It does look, honestly, as far as Casco, it does look like when you got her shirt. Yeah. Blue Cross Blue Shield for show.

That's right. It's Blue Cross Blue Shield Plus. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I just got in your insurance. We'll see. I think it's good. Hopefully.

I get a fucking big ass. This cost me $8,000 somehow. $8,000. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's more than that. No. This fucking thing?

No. It's like 500 bucks probably. Yes? That's the poor people cast. The one that with the pastor was. You got, you just got to like have an L-shaped arm. Yeah.

I know. Like, okay, if it's your best, like if it's your, like if I was with eldest, right? And I offered, like, to let you borrow, like, my car, which I like, I would just be like,

don't, like, don't fuck my shit up, dude. You know what I mean? Like, I was like the second, I see you doing some fucked up shit I'm taking the car because if this is your best friend you can talk to him that openly and honestly where you can be like

all right dude here you can use it to help you get back you know back on your feet or whatever the fuck but you also did fuck up in not setting the like parameters here because it's like when's this guy fucking guy

got to get a car it doesn't happen overnight like you said it yourself you you saved up to buy your fucking grandfather's old truck which do you ever think him and grandma had a nice time? in there?

It's actually free. It's the car from Titanic when the hands are like It's a Ford Model T. Yeah. Girl, you're mine. You can't remember nothing from yesterday but you, ooh, the way you begin.

I know's the Tocan. That's your shit, girl. Every night in. Did you see it in theaters? No. No. I was a child when that movie came out. I was a child too, but my dad

and his like his contractor friend, his painter friend one time. We had like a day off from school. And my dad's friend was like, this is a fucking good movie. You see tits in it. And my dad was like, really? And then he took me and my brother and his friend to go see Titanic. What are you like in second grade? When did it come out, 98?

99. I remember I saw it in theaters twice. What? Wow. Twice. How old are y'all? We're 37. Sydney, you have to put that away.

And Char, we need X. H.R. in here. She got her heels out. It looks like I've been doing the dance, the heel toe on my heel. It's so ashy. Sydney can't help her something.

He wants those feet out. Sydney really wants Stab's fans, to stop highs. You really do. I don't take anything right now. You know what I'm saying? No. Girl, you have a girlfriend.

You don't need these people. I was eight years old, and my father took me to see it in theaters. I just did the math. It came out. 97. We were both me and others

were looking at tits in a theater at eight years old. What a good dad? But you know about the tits from, draw me like you draw your French girls' tits?

Yeah, those are awesome. Come on. Yeah, so that's not tits. Those are big. What are you talking about? Those are breasts. That's a brisk.

Tits. I don't know. Tits are mine, you know? No, those are tits. Oh, they're, yours are tits as well. Oh, okay. I'm not saying you're not.

You don't have tits. Well, I don't know. She's not put a foot in on you. I do. Do not. I was also going to say, you said, oh, I got to, I could just talk to my best friend. But if you know your best friend, then you know your best friend going to fuck up your shit. Right.

That's like me saying, Marie, Marie, please be on time. She's not going to do it. And she says it to me all the time. I do it all the time. And every time she's like, hey girl. Yeah, yeah. 30 minutes late. It's like, oh.

Yeah. And then you, what you do is then take it on everybody else and act like Marie with all your other friends. You're, you're Marie to everybody else. I love, like, it's the idea that you're, yes, Marie is. Marie is usually seven minutes later than you, but you're both a half hour late. Okay, because when I'm out here today, she was also in the line with me. I'm talking about here. There's food.

At least I ate before I got to the studio. I'm late because I ate. No, I say that because, first of all, he hit us up last minute fucking yesterday. I was like, oh, he's deep playing. He don't care. He's like, hey, what these, what these bitches? What these bitches? Won from a...

From Mastavros. Somebody lets to know. That's his bitch is warm from a star roast. I like that. Somebody let me help this. No. I was like, we're just having to lose. We're just having fun.

We're having fun. You know? I was laying in my bed today like, I guess I could do five. Yeah. I know. I was, we thought we were going to get the morning off. I was fucking hung over. Rale just had, you know, was going to do some fun shit.

And then we're like, everybody just kind of started being like, oh, we actually we can do it. Like kind of last minutes. So we're like, fuck, I guess we're just actually doing pods all day. You live around the corner. So I know it's not that far. Not quite around the corner. I'm in Williamsburg.

Oh, okay. Yeah, you're not that far. Like, you know what I live in Flatbush. So it's going to take me some time. Yeah. That's why I was late. What do you want for me? Queens was too much.

I moved to Manhattan. You want to remove the block you live on? She's so did even later. The closer something is to my house The later I'm gonna leave my house Come on there Guys

So I'm gonna get there At six Hey At this everybody just needs to lean A little bit more In lightness Then I kind of agree with you

Yeah I do think we have We're a little too Like I catch myself All the time Being too impatient When it's like

Why the fuck Like Obviously when you have shit to do That's one thing But it's even that It's like You should give Yourself a little buff

That's what I'm learning is like, don't schedule yourself to what is theoretically possible. Give yourself some time on either end because shit fucking always happens. But you know, they say people who are always late are optimistic. We always feel like, it's not going to take me that long to get there today. Oh, that's beautiful. Or I'll be like, it's never taking me five minutes to do my makeup, but I've been like, today's the day.

I've been training for it and this is the day. I'm not going to hit any red lights. The train is going to be on time. I get that. These are people who are chronically late. I'm busting your balls, but I, often have the same problem. I think it's a,

so many convenience just do have some kind of fucking ADD type shit that like makes your brain not able to, I'm bad with time, I'm bad. Anytime a plan changes that like freaks me out for a little bit and I just have to, but I'm trying to get better with rolling with the punches. Anyway, let's go back.

Yeah. Every time you do the podcast, it is a sparring session. Yeah. For this guy, for this, you know, barely twisted motherfucking ass call of the week. Keep it twisted What's the opposite of twisted?

Straight? Yeah. Straight. Yeah. Keep it straightened. I would say How long does he want to fucking borrow it? You know what I mean?

If it's a couple weeks, I say you bite the bullet and just do it. If this guy's just like, hey, can I borrow it in perpetuity until I can save up? Then I think you have to be like, hey, man, you know, you're like, hey, like, you can borrow the car,

but whatever. Let's fucking set some parameters. here. You get it for a couple weeks just to get your shit back, but I don't know. That's like a lot of work. Just lie to your friend.

Lie to him. Say, my grandfather, this is my grandfather's car. He actually don't want you driving it. How about this? He don't want you touching his car. Henry Ford gave this to him. But then it's going to be like his grandfather died.

The ghost don't want you to drive this. I was playing, I was playing, I broke out the Ouija board and my grandfather made it very clear he doesn't want you driving that car. Yeah. Yeah, is your friends, you know,

even partially. of a different race. Could you blame it on your grandfather being racist? Oh. With your grandfather and Nazi. Let's really delve into this. Here actually is it, here's, if you do want to lie to him, if he doesn't know anything about cars, what you can do is do take like a spark plug out or like take something that's like not a big actual problem.

Like now it's an old truck so it doesn't have electrical problems, but it's like, could you like, could you make some kind of minor, could you stage? could you stage an accident? Oh. Hey, cut the brakes. Cut the brakes. Could you, yeah, could you pretend that you had a fender bender and it needs to be in the shop? Yes.

And you're like, dude, I'm so sorry. My fucking, you know, my, I need to replace the transmission or some bullshit. He says he drives this car once a week. So you're going to say that to your boy and then he's going to catch you at the drive-thru. Yeah, yeah. And you're going to be like, oh. Well, that's the catch, right? He fixed it.

You're right. What you have to do is now you have to sacrifice your use of. feel the car. So until he buys a fucking, you know, Ford Explorer, that you have to keep that motherfucker in the garage. You have to say that I'd still getting worked on. What happened with being honest? Hey, man, actually, I see how you treat stuff.

I don't know. Like, I don't really see it for you. Like, I need to see you treating your things better when you drive. Oh, you ain't got a car. That's all right. The friend will be like, you sound gay. And he wouldn't be wrong. No, but the point, like, the larger question here is,

it's not even about this, it's like, how do you, when, because we've all been there when it's like, you're caught up in the moment, and you make a promise that you know you're not going to keep on the back of your head. And almost immediately after you make it, you've been like, man, what a ross? Why don't do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the real question is, what's the philosophy of getting out of that? How do you do it?

And I think the most mature way is to just own up to it and be like, hey man I thought about it it's like this is drive crazy it's just like it's like that's and honestly you could throw the grandfather card in there where it's like look this is kind of this isn't I've been driving it recently it's kind of an old beat up truck I barely use it I don't think and you might not even be lying I don't think this is this is a kind of truck that should be anybody's daily driver yes that's good which might actually be true what is it like a he's talking about it's an old Ford Ranger right which is a cool car but it's like I think that which is also true by the

I think an old antique car that has a lot of sentimental value to you that's the kind of car that you only drive once a week you could just be like dog I thought about it this car can't be a day to day car like if you need to borrow it if you have to go grab some from Home Depot or you need like you need a truck for the afternoon you can borrow it but like truck for the day he comes back three weeks later yeah yeah yeah but you know sometimes we need to move something it's like that's not unheard of like having to

borrow a truck I think a good half lie he said he wanted to like make it into a camping rig for the summer. That's his excuse right there. He's like, oh, I got to keep it in the garage. I'm really trying to get this thing ready for the summer. Yeah. No, that's a good. You say, as it is right now, it's not ready to be a fucking daily driver.

I'm going to do some, I'm going to put some work into it and get it ready to just be my camper for the summer. I don't think it makes sense for you to borrow this. But if you need a ride and then you offer a half-ass, like, hey, but anytime you need a fucking ride or whatever, you know what I mean? Something you also don't mean. And now it's the green book or whatever they all that. The Green Mile?

The Green Book is where an Italian solves racism by driving a black guy around the south. Now we're assuming his friend Black. Yeah. No way. By the way, no chance, probably. My dad has one of these cars that he drives like once a week. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, my uncle gets him his like old bends, like his Mercedes.

Fuck yeah. And my dad would like take it out and buff it and can't. Yeah. I get that, though. I mean, he wouldn't even take it that far. He would drive it to church. Yeah, oh, hell yeah. To stop.

He'd drive it to church and then like not. To show God he's prosperous. And then I put no money in the plate. Just why I can't put no ties. You see what I'm doing. I'm doing well. God is good. And they'd be like, pass the plate and he'd be like, you can pass it.

Here's a punch card. You only need one more sandwich to get a free sandwich. Let's throw that in there. Yeah, I think that's the thing. I think I think he should fix it up for a kid. Camping and then take his buddy out camping and have a delicious Twisted Tea summer party tag. That's a great idea. Including this new delicious lemonade flavor.

That is true. There isn't, yeah, that's exactly right. Here's what you do. You fix it up as a camper. You find a nice lagoon, right? You drive it to the lagoon. You and your friend pull up with the camper. Have a full broke back mountain mountain mom.

Yeah. You can have gay sex with him if you want to. We're not, we're not going to. Keep it twisted. Suck your boy off. Yeah. To apologize for not letting him borrow your car. Drink an ice cold, twisted tea.

Drink responsibly and suck your mom. Yeah. Twisted when you go from top to bottom. You're twisted. Y'all both burst. Yeah. Both are twisted. And it is June right now, which is Pride month.

Pride month. Happy pride. Happy pride. Yeah. Yeah. He got two vehicles. Yeah. Drop one to be a top and drop one to be a top.

And drop one to be a top. All right. We did it, folks. Whoa, holy shit. Remember, folks, keep it fucking twisted. Keep it twisted. Beautiful. We solved that very twisted question.

Now, I can't wait to see. This one is definitely going to be a more twisted question. Play it. Let's see what we got. Hey, God. Everyone. Thank you, well. Mm-hmm.

Wanted to know if I am the asshole for telling a hinge date after a hookup that his bathroom was really gross. And that if I were to be invited over again, I would want that to be clean. That's awesome. If you want repeat pussy, go buy some Clorox wipes. If there's a ring around your tub Yeah Ain't going to be no ring around the dick Yeah

Yeah if there's a ring around the tub You're not going to experience the NUVA ring Inside of me right now Yeah but it's like if you already went to To his house You saw his bathroom and you hooked up with him You think he's gonna give a fucking about Coming back on

She had sex, she had sex and then probably saw the bathroom No Hey baby, you got a UTI You got a quarter doctor But also Yeah, yeah. Also, though, if you're, if you've gone on a date, it's gone well. You're like making out or whatever. And then you're like, let me go to the bath. You're already about the fuck. Are you really not going to fuck because the bathroom's dirty?

If the bedroom's nice, you know what I mean? If the rest of his house is clean, are you really not going to fuck at that point? I was a, remember, I went on a date with this guy or, I mean, date is a loose word. I went to this guy's house. Okay. And I, we were talking, we having a good time. He took, he tall, he had all his teeth. I was like, is that a watcher fry? I was ready. I go to the bathroom. There was a condom rapper in the top of the trash. Did he leave by himself?

Yes. Ah, that's tough. I said, I got to go. I didn't have sex with him. He didn't need to have sex with me. He just had sex with somebody else. No, that's different, though. The bathroom was clean, though, is what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're saying, like, everyone has their deal. What I'm saying is what if the bathroom was dirty and there's no condom? I'm saying just because you're there doesn't mean you have to have sex. I know that. Yeah. Stop! No, no, no.

Don't you fucking try. My position, a woman who smiles at you owes you pussy. That's not what I'm saying, Marie. I'm just saying if I'm putting myself in her shoes when it's like, I've been to a situation where I'm like, I'm having a good time. And like, you know, somebody does something off pudding or like, you know, one time I went on a date and a girl moments before like literally like I, like we had started hooking up and she said something like quasi-Republican.

And I was like, I'm already hard. I'm not. She said America's going to be even greater. She said it was like some kind of weird Hillary Clinton jab. And I was like, I don't really like her either. But it was very like, I'm very hardcore, like, you know, Republican coded. Yeah. And then you were like, I'm going to beat the Republican out of you.

And I was like. No, no, I mean, like beat that. Yeah. That's what I meant. Yeah. But like, look, I was already there. But you're a guy. You're a man.

That's fair. That's fair. Women don't need too much to feel the ick, and once the ick happens, it's a rap for you. Sure, but I would like to... Yeah, but the ink don't stop me from doing what I did. You know what I mean? If you're in the zone.

Yeah. If you're wanting to fuck. Like, oh... It depends on how horny you are. That's what I'm saying. This girl's probably, I'm saying, in a scenario where you're juiced up ready to go, are you gonna leave?

Well, she said, I, she said, am I the asshole for telling him his bathroom is gross? I don't think you're an asshole for that. No. So we hear her out. She's got a little... Oh, yeah. Go ahead, Elvis.

Just go ahead. Oh, shit. I don't know. I know it's tough, vulnerable subject. And then the guy unmatched me after that. And it kind of went cold. Otherwise, we had a great time. Am I the assholes?

You're not the... Move on. Where do I get, guys? That's hilarious. Move on. Does everyone have a gross bathroom? No. No.

I don't know. Well, hold on. Like... Not now. But you see our apartment 10 years ago? Oh, yeah. I mean, I wasn't, I was playing all the way games back then, though. There was no way I was bringing girls back to my fucking windowless room in the corner of the fucking living room.

I maybe fucked like three girls the whole time and everyone had to leave the apartment. How gross is gross? Because I and this guy later on later became my boyfriend, but I was at this club. I'm blacked out drunk. I'm in esper drills and a long skirt. Jessica Simpson wets. Yes. I went to brunch and whatnot.

And somehow I'm getting drunk. I'm having pickleback shots. I go back to his apartment. We hook up. I wake up in the morning. The bathroom is literally disgusting. It like came out of a like the candy man. The first one, the movie.

It was one of those bathrooms. Then I go into his bedroom. I look up. His ceiling is fucking missing. Half of the ceiling is like in a big. Yeah, that's for cars, Sydney. And then, worse,

There's a pigeon just hanging out. The worst part about it is he had sheets that were, like, I think it was like a 30 thread count. 30 thin, thin, like, fucking, what do you find? You can file your nails on them. Hard and thin. Yo, fuck, yeah. Fucking polyester freaking sheets.

And this is, by the way, this is why we should all, we shouldn't laugh at sobriety conferences. This is what, this is what very, Being blacked out gets you, by the way. Yeah. Right. Yeah. No ceiling.

Pull up to the house. Yeah. Obviously, I couldn't give him a new ceiling, but I was like, you got to get new sheets. Wait, this was your boyfriend? He later on become, he became my boyfriend. My boyfriend. She was going bad.

I saw the potential. I said the apartment could get better. You said it gets great life. I was like, the penis. Ooh, a soap roof. Trash. You know? Okay, all right.

I said it could be better. And then he did end up getting a whole new apartment. Okay, that's good. So it was like, was he squatting at this place? No, no, no. Yeah, there was an extension cord running from across the street. No, that's another guy. He was like, don't use the microwave roll of TV's on.

He would get mad when she charged her phone. Cindy, what the fuck? Everything. We just abused, blow up. because I turned on a blow dryer. Oh, hilarious. That has happened. But see, that's a good example, though.

Even though, like you said something, this guy lived up to that, and you guys had a relationship. You were not wrong, our caller, our lovely caller. You're not the asshole because you said something about how this guy lived in unacceptable way. I wouldn't say you the asshole, but I would say that obviously you're better off.

This person wasn't going to change, you know. He unmatched her. They already hooked up. She said, we had a lovely time. Yeah. And he was like, and he read that, he was like, still hit? Yeah. But I hit, though, and it moved on.

Yeah. So you did take a minor L here because you let a man with a disgusting, you know, a disgusting bathroom hit and unmatch. But you know what? But you know what? Maybe she hit and then found out the bathroom, because that's what happened to me. That's what I'm saying. I do think that's what happened.

That's what we think is going on. And even if it wasn't, right? whatever. Honestly, I'm of the position of like the same way we're applauding female deadbeat moms. Yeah. There should be girls that are as horny as men that make bad decisions. There are girls who are as horny as men. And that's what I'm saying. We shouldn't judge them. We shouldn't judge them for that. That's what I'm saying. Now, girl, before you slept with him, before you saw the bathroom, did you check under his nails? Because you are, you are, you are ill. You're not the asshole, but he probably, he probably wipes back to front or water.

Rubbing shit on his own balls? Not an issue for men, but yes. As I was saying, I was like, is that a thing to be a thing? Yeah. Go to the doctor. Immediately. You're sick. Yeah. Your ill.

Your vagina is sick. That's probably true. Yeah. I do think you should probably get checked. pH balance all the way off. Absolutely. Negative. Various, yeah.

Very acidic right now probably. Shit's tasting like a lemon. Like a pickleback. Like a pickleback shot. Yeah, like a pickleback. I'm like to the tongue, it's pickleback. That's my thing. I'm not a little bit.

out of that. Literally. Yeah. All right. What else we got, LD? Hey, Stavi. Shout out to you.

Shout out to the guest. So I've been a tattoo artist for 28 years professionally. I didn't order some crap off Amazon and I felt myself a pro. I started back when a burn a ship's mate. You probably got hit if you didn't do what you're supposed to do. Oh, wow.

Here's the thing. Tattooing has always been like a safe haven for, for counterculture people and things like that. Well, lately, I've been working in a shop now for about four years, and two of the tattoo artists there out of the four that works, so that's 50%. Two of those tattoo artists have become devout, devout Trumpians, Trump thumpers.

One of them wears a 47 hat when they tattoo, yada y'all. And I got to say, bro, it's getting to the point where I can't handle it there. I get that. I don't know what to do. I didn't vote for Trump. I didn't vote for Kamala. I ain't voted in two presidential cycles because this whole thing is a joke. Yeah.

So what would your suggestions be for me? Should I like start getting vocal and try to change their minds at the shop? At least shut them down and say keep your politics the hell out of our counterculture safe haven. Or do I just get on the road and get into a different shop? Let me know, bro. Love you. Yeah, this is a tough one because, yeah, what he's saying is, like, tattooing you'd think would be a, it's like, it started as, like, literally for fucking criminals who couldn't do anything else. And now it's become, like, you know, the effect that there's, like, people who just are aligning themselves with, like, fascist bullshit.

That sucks even more than, like, you know, if you're working in finance and everybody's a Republican, no shit. You know what I mean? Like, if you're working in certain industries, you know to expect that. So, I don't know. Like, if this was me, I guess I'm a little confused. Like, are these people his boss? Are they just as co-workers?

Sounds like co-workers. Sounds like two other tattoo guys at the shop. If they're co-workers and you're equals, essentially, it's like, I think, I don't think there's anything wrong with, because, like, look, my stance is like, I don't, I have friends who I have different political beliefs with. I have people that I don't see eye with on everything. But if you, right now,

think the Trump administration is doing a good job, you're a fucking brain dead. Crazy. You're a fucking, like, something is, you're either so stupid that you think Trump, like you're literally think of Trump as like some sort of god figure. Or you're just, you're either racist or you're a fascist or you're like,

you love that, you know, people are being, you know, getting snatched up off the streets that we're starting fucking illegal wars. I don't know what the fuck you're, you know, I don't know what it is, but it's not good, right? Or you're cynically trying to become, like, you know, in entertainment, people are trying to harness the, you know, because whatever you say about them,

these people are fucking dumb and shit, but they're very loyal. So I'm sure there's people, there's people in entertainment right now that are trying to appeal to them. But in any case, my stance is if right now you think this administration is a good job, you're a fucking idiot.

And so, like, it's, we're not, and by the way, I don't, I didn't feel this way during the election, right? Like, people who voted for Trump, but now are like, holy fuck, I was duped, I was stupid. whatever. I think we can, you know, I'm not mad at, I mean, I think it's a very regrettable voting for him. I think, I think you're probably pretty dumb to fall for it in the first place, but we can

build off that, right? We can get people who like are like, oh, I fucked up and I don't want my country to be like this, right? So I think there's nothing wrong with you being vocal about that in your shop in a thing that you, he's been tattooing for, what do you say, 30 years? I don't know how long he's been, did he say how long it was at this shop? Four years. Four years, I guess, you know, Are those guys more senior than him? I don't know. Did you accidentally join like a sort of like crypto fascist tattoo shop? Because that also has happened to.

Let's not be, let's be honest. There are tattoos who are like that. But I guess that's my thing. If you feel like these people are kind of ruining your community and like fucking up a place that you helped build and helped see as a counterculture like safe, safe place, I don't think there's anything wrong with you being vocal. Now, are you going to change their minds,

probably not. But it's good for you to sort of just take a stance. And I think all we can hope for these people is that like they understand that they are pariahs, that they need to feel that. And I think like, and I do think like the only entertainment is pretty powerless against some of the biggest. If we're being honest, we're pretty powerless against really stopping wars and shit like that. But what we can do is make a song. But there comes a time. But no, like I think a lot of I really think a lot of entertainers have very cowardly taken the stance of like, hey, everybody buys tickets, right? Or like people. And artists have become so financially and like fame hungry, even more than ever, so willing to sell out that they don't want to offend anyone that could put money or fame in their pocket.

And that's cowardice. And I think we need to move away from that cowardice. And all we can do is say like, hey, anyone who acts this way, I don't want in my community. it's not, is it a symbolic gesture? I don't know, but it's better than nothing, right? It's better than being like, let's ignore all of this. And I could say if somebody was saying, you know, like there are comedians who have these beliefs.

And if I was on a show with them, I would make fun of them for being stupid. That's what I can do, right? Right. And you can do, what you can do is make people who, you know, like who come into your shop feel more welcome by being like, I mean, at the same time, A lot of people are getting fucking tattoos with this motherfucker

wearing a Trump hat. So he must be nice. He must be really good. His work must be sick. He must have clean lines. Nah, you know the lines is dirty. Great shading.

Did he say that he didn't vote for the last? He said he didn't vote for the last two elections and now he wants to change his mind. Baby, change your mind. Yeah. I will, listen, I do understand people who if you don't live in a, I'll be on, I didn't vote for Kamala because I live in New York. And I thought, I thought the Democrats were being cowards about Palestine. I think like I didn't think that the I mean the Biden administration didn't really behave that much differently on the border as Trump won.

I had real problems with and I thought the Democrats sort of they didn't have a they should have had a fucking open primary. They basically told us who the president who our candidate was going to be. And if I lived in a swing state, yes, I would have voted for Kamala, right? But wait, did you? So who did you vote for? I just didn't vote for anybody for president. I voted for local, you know, my local elections. And that was more symbolic because I knew they were going to win New York anyway.

If I lived in Ohio, if I lived in Florida, I would have probably voted Democrat. I would have. And this guy, you know, I do get it. I do think you guys are right that it's like, you know. But I do think that's the thing is like, we are so far away from normal politics that even people who are completely apolitical see this as a fucking cancer in our culture. Yeah. And I don't, you know, I think now's the. time to kind of unite everyone from, even if they weren't political, even if, even if they were

republic, even if they were like, even if they were Trump voters the first time, right? Now is the time for all of us to be like, we really don't want to live in this country. This is not what we want our country to be. America is in its flop era. It's, we're flopping. China's got to, China's going to catch us. Yeah, but. I'm about to start learning Chinese on my duo. Yeah, but yeah, throw Mandarin on there for sure.

But also, it's like, I'm not also spending the last of my years trying to educate these and beg and plead these people to be on the right side because they don't want to. Like they have all the information. This is what they want to do. And so it's like, what are we doing here?

These people have all of the information. They see what's going on. Are your eyes closed? But I think there's a difference between our caller who like, who just, like even people like our caller who's like, look, I don't fucking want anything to do with. There's a difference between like not being involved with politics

and actively in this moment in time being like Trump's the man. right wearing that hat to work it's like hey we don't do politics here take that off yeah that's how you walk by him and he's tattooing just flip it all yeah move his arm a little bit fuck up the fucking person's tattoo

no regerts yeah but you can't say you're not into politics and live in America and have all the rights that you have that's politics that's what it is you can't you can't remove yourself from it and be like oh I don't want to get involved when it's like you are benefiting

from being in America. So, yeah, I agree that I do think, when I do think particularly in this moment of time, people being like, both sides are crazy. They're out of their mind. They're like that we're done with centrist bullshit. That's not going to save America, right? And I agree with you.

I just think like for our caller, like, this is your time to like do something different, to be like, to show that you're, this isn't acceptable for you. And then if you do leave, now maybe focus on like, yeah, making a shop that active is counterculture that is actively, you know, trying to be a place for immigrants, you know, like, you know,

LGBT people, like just accepting of everybody. Who is he giving tattoos to ICE agents? It is interesting. Like who does, I mean, honestly, yeah. Yeah. Ice agents do need to fucking have, you know, a horrible cross on their arm or whatever the fuck. Yeah, they're their shit wrong. Yeah, yeah.

There's people, there are definitely racist love tattoos. So it's like, but that's the thing, man. And this actually, Sydney's, I think you are very right where it's like, I think what we're learning now and what I hope is that like people, people should understand that there really is no neutral here. There's like make a difference or you're helping or just like you're helping. And it's not even a big difference. But it's just like, do something. Yeah. And so I think now's a good chance for you to be like, what kind of shop do I want to be in? Right. You can't, you're not going to stop this person from being a fucking idiot. Nope. But can you, can you take this and on your neck? Like, if you start a new job, you're in a new place, and you just don't really, you're not actively helping, this is a moment for you to be like,

all right, I'm going to fucking try and, like, balance the universe a little bit and do a shop that actively courts counterculture, actively courts misfits, actively isn't, you know, racist, sex, whatever that movement is. I wonder what city he's in. That's interesting.

We can look up as area code, but that doesn't usually... Right, in my mind is like Portland or something. That doesn't usually tell... He could be anywhere. Like, I have my Baltimore. could be anywhere. You know what I mean?

He could literally be anywhere. This actually is very interesting, gives it some good context, and I guess we could bleep it. He's in. Oh, okay. That makes sense. But again, he could, he could just not be there, right? Yeah. So, I don't know.

Yeah, his phone's from there. The altitude, a lot of oxygen is getting cut off. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's thin air makes you racist. And they're all hot. Yeah.

Yeah. It makes you racist. Yeah. That's what I heard. Yeah. So yeah, dude, fucking do that. But that's got it.

That does have to be annoying. I mean, yeah, tattoos is like, it is people that just like have markings on their faces. People who could never have another job. So. But yeah, dude,

I think that's how you handle it personally. It's like, start being more vocal. Be like this shit is fucking unacceptable. Which again, I would do, I personally, I do think that shit is unacceptable

when I do think it's fucking corny. Yeah. When people are, especially comedians are pro-Trump right now. but yeah i think that's what you can do and then yeah if you have to leave they lights are on though they're like yeah i'm not on the right side but look at all the money i got there's a lot of people who are on the the the side so you're supposed to be on hey man conna is about to get cut off yeah you know they're not getting any tickets like people are not showing up but as soon as

they're being an activist well because that's the thing the people who are like pro-trump are loud about it and people support them the people who are not trump are afraid that people aren't going to buy tickets to their thing so they're quiet about, I don't know. The middleman shit is like, I do think artists in general, it's like, we got to stop being, too many artists have started thinking like business people first. And it's like, that's still,

I kind of feel like this tattoo guy where it's like, the whole point is we did this because we didn't want real jobs. Right. It's not to like, like, I really, look, I'm very happy with the success. It's awesome. I like fucking not worrying about money.

But it's like, I did this so I wouldn't have to have a fucking job. I'm not going to like try and get as rich. I just think too many artists worry about getting his, rich and as famous as possible. And it's like, if you're able to have a good living off your art, that's all you need to do. That's the goal. And then you can actually, what's the stuff that made you passionate about art?

You know what I mean? Like, do you want to say something? People lose track of that after a while. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. And we live in a time where everybody wants to be famous for being famous. Everybody. Everybody wants to be famous for being famous.

They've lost the plot, huh? Do you have a skill? No. Do you have anything you want to say? No. Do you have a skill you want to develop? No. Do you have a hobby?

Can you read? No, no. Like, it's like, I'm on Twitch, though. No. And it's like, okay. Yeah, no, but I can do a get ready with me. Yeah. But I can do a couple get ready with me videos.

That's it. Anyway, yeah, good luck, I guess. I don't fucking know. You got to get a new job, babe. Yeah. Start a cooler tattoo shop. I don't fucking know what to tell you. Yeah.

You got a quick one, a fun one for us to go out on, Mr. Eldis? Yeah, let's give the women out there a little hope here. Okay. Hi, Stobby, baby. first time, long time. I am currently listening to the bonus episode of 179, and it's the last call, the caller, and the lovely fellow 36G batty just called in

and is worried about losing her nice tits with getting on the weight loss meds. Now, we're all different, but I want to tell you guys, I'm on, I'm a fellow deathbound batty, and I've lost some weight. I lost a little bit of my own. ass, which, you know, that's sad. But I am happy to report after losing about 40 pounds, my 36 Gs are still very much

intact. So, like you're saying on the pod, it is worth it for the health benefits. And, you know, some of us lucky gals out here might just get to keep our gigantic tits. So say yes to drugs, I guess in this case. Anyway, love you. Thanks. Bye. I want to believe you, but, you know, you could be lying.

Do you have any proof? Yeah, where to prove I. There are. The attachment sending it to me. You got 36 G. You should have said 36 P. We're, you know, respectfully, we'll look at them. Yeah, we'll look at them just to verify where you're saying is true.

Not for horny reasons. But also, is that true? You lost your ass, but the tities are the same side. There was not much ass to begin with. Maybe that. Yeah. It's possible. She just realized.

It's possible. She didn't have asked this old side. Yeah. It's quite possible. And not a shamanal. twist you ain't got to that way. Here's the good news. You can you can't build an ass in the gym. Yeah. You can't really build tithes in the gym. No. No. No. You're real pecks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yes, that's wonderful news. Get on drugs. You'll keep your fat, juicy tits, hopefully. Gals, thank you so much for coming. It's always a fucking, it's all. You're the best on a Sunday.

Fresh from church. They took Marie's dad's Ben's here. They drove it here. This is my Jesus money. Go see Sydney in Edinburgh. Yeah. When Marie's Tooby show comes out, which we are big Tooby fans here. Huge. I literally was, I didn't know. I literally didn't know that.

And I was thinking like, I was like, I kind of want to make a low budget indie movie and put it on Tooby directly. Come on. I kind of want to do. Like I was thinking. I'm an influencer. I love, I think that's the way shit's going. I think. It is.

I really think so. It's there or you too. Absolutely. I mean. Like YouTube is the new Netflix. Kristen Stewart just said she wanted to make a movie and put it on YouTube. And I kind of know what she's talking about. I think like we now people want like people just want people to see their stuff.

That's it. And there's, watch it. Yeah. So. And as it does well, you know, the ad dollars will roll in or whatever. Totally. Everyone has access to Tooby.

Everyone has access to YouTube. And that's what it's really about having access. YouTubey will be. YouTubey. Let's get them together. That's beautiful. Yes. Wow.

Access, access to, you know, all of the art. access to health care, access to abortions. Access to clean bathrooms. Yeah, clean bathrooms. Yeah, absolutely. That's a beautiful utopia we would all like to live in someday. Clean bathrooms and big titty. Very important stuff.

We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.