Stavvy's World - #190 - Stef Dag and Gabby Bryan

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Stef Dag and Gabby Bryan return to the pod to discuss their new podcast I’ll Go If You Go, peptides, sibling rivalries, friend rivalries, dating guys with criminal records, short kings, confidence imbalances, mixing helplessness with spirituality, and much more. Stef and Gabby help callers including a married man who’s lying to his wife about money he’s spending on figurines, and a woman who’s wondering how long she should wait for the older guy she’s dating to ask to be her boyfriend. Check out Stef Dag and Gabby Bryan’s podcast I’ll Go If You Go: https://www.youtube.com/@IllGoIfYouGoPodcast   Follow Stef Dag on social media: https://punchup.live/stefdag https://www.instagram.com/stefdagz https://x.com/stefdagz https://www.youtube.com/@stefdagcomedy   https://www.tiktok.com/@stefdag   stefdag.substack.com   Follow Gabby Bryan on social media: https://punchup.live/gabbybryan   https://www.instagram.com/gabbyisbryan https://www.youtube.com/@gabbyisbryan https://www.tiktok.com/@gabbyisbryan   https://x.com/gabbyisbryan   🙏 Thanks to our sponsors! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW!   Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wyx330el #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Opa, welcome everybody to Stavvy's World 904-800 stop. Call us on the Stavis World hotline, brought you by our pals invisible, and we'll solve all your problems. Now, let me change my clothing real fast and introduce our guests. Hey, maybe we'll play the theme music again. Opa!

Welcome everybody to Stavis World 904-800-stop. Call in and we'll solve all your problems. We're back in the new studio, returning to the couch. we have Gabby, Brian, and Steph Dagg. How are we doing, gals? Hello. Awesome.

Really good. Really good. Yeah. I like that. You're both glowing. You seem like you're having a great time. Yeah, we both are kind of... Are you tan or are you tan?

You're not tan. Let me stop you right there, Gabi. You're not tan. I'm a little pale. I'm a little pale. And you probably got a spray tan in the last month. So we've kind of arrived in the center. Usually you're a different color than me because you're a Croatian.

Right. Which is a black. person of color. And say it. A person of color for the Balkans. Right, right. Right. To a rich girl from New Jersey, that counts as black. I'm for gypsy friends. Almost everyone and everyone is black.

But I'm so white. So usually you're such a different color. Right. Now we're sort of meeting in the middle, which makes me feel black. And I feel bad. Yeah. You're Benjamin buttoning. And let me just go ahead. Don't, you should not feel that way. That's, you're maybe, maybe the furthest from possibly, and you're just, She's talking pure tone here, right? Right. I would say red.

She's the furthest from black? I would say pretty red. Sort of the opposite side of the color wheel. I was saying glowing metaphorically. I was saying it seems like you're in a good place in your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you think we're ugly. Pregnant.

No, no, no, no. So you think we're ugly and pregnant. So when you look at us, what do you see? Yeah, I guess if I really had to, yeah, I guess ugly and pregnant is right. Great personality. Busted. Faces for radio. Busted.

Just like the cameras are off Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two different styles of busted gals. If you really got to know, I was trying to be polite. And give you a compliment. But I think you're both ugly. I do think you're both ugly. Is the truth?

No, no, I think you have a, you're a fair-skinned person who was at the beach yesterday. Yeah. And it didn't seem like you hit the SPF as hard as you should have. Right. But not in a bad way, right? You know, I think you'll be, you're a little burnt, but you're going to be over it and you're going to look beautiful tomorrow. I think you just have a blush on. No.

No. No, that's kind of sad that she's your best friend and I immediately. Well, because you always have like a rover rosacea thing as well. I do have. All right. Hell yeah. Turn them against the, call them ugly. Watch them fight.

Watch them try and prove who's the less ugly one. I get it. I have a pink base and you guys won't shut the fuck up. up about it. That is true. We are, you're talking to two Eastern Europeans here. Yes, and I'm jealous. Yeah.

I'm Polish, isn't that Eastern European? But you're a Jew. Yeah. Wow, someone really started getting Croatian. Someone really had to prove their Croatian. But you're a Jew, so you're actually from nowhere. But you're not welcome anywhere, right? You understand that?

You kind of do have like the DNA type of the people going to Israel and getting sunburned. You know what I mean? Like Polish Jews are like, we're from here. And then they like are allergic to the pollin and they're just red all the time. Yeah, that's exactly. You would do really poorly, you know, in Israel. In Israel. Hopefully for multiple reasons.

You know, hopefully for moral as well as sun tan reasons. I love it here, but it's a little hot. Everything else they're doing? Great. No, no. It's just a little hot. What I'm Schwitzer. I did do a fake freckled today.

Have you heard of us? I like that. You like that? I'm a fan of freckles, and I don't see why those who don't have them naturally can't cosplay a little freckling every once in a while. Yeah, what you do is it's like a dark pen and they go like this and you go... I used to do that with Sharpie growing up, as well as wear a fake braces. I would bend my bangles and put them in my teeth.

And I always pretend that I had a broken arm and stuff. Wow. Are you jealous of me right now? Yeah. I have like a hospital fantasy. His culture is not your costume. Yeah, yeah. Did you have...

So you kind of were like your own gypsy Rose, like you're Gypsy Rose's mom to yourself. I was just gypsy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wait, you do have kind of a schizophrenic theme throughout your life. Like in college, you did tell everyone your name was Dakota. I changed my name to Dakota. And this was before Dakota Johnson, right?

This was before Dakota. This was Dakota. Right before. Oh, Dakota Fanning's time. Shout out. Shout out to Dakota. I told everyone in school I had stomach cancer as well. What?

Whoa. You love detention. No, this is... Stomach cancer. That's like the most fatal one. You need to make up one that you can recover from? Yeah, I'm a miracle. I'm a walking miracle.

You couldn't have said melanoma, put a band-aid on? I have prostate cancer. Okay, interesting. Hold on. We're going to take these one at a time. Grade school braces. Did you want them? Were you jealous of those with braces?

Yeah, I just like wanted something wrong with me. Oh, interesting. Oh, you know what I mean? Like, I just, like, wanted something to be. be wrong with me. So then I developed an eating disorder because that one I could be in control. Right, right, right, right, right. Right. It's one of the easiest things you can develop. It's easy. It's not hard. Well, it takes a little bit to get into it. How so? You got to figure out to make yourself throw up. Oh, yeah. See, I, as a little fat kid who

loved food so much, but felt like everyone was mad at me for being fat. Yeah. I tried. I literally tried to like throw up. And I was like, this is fucking hard. I'm just going to keep eating. It's hard. Your blood vessels pop and your face. But when I heard about it, I was like, loophole. Yeah, it's kind of of the perfect thing. Yeah, because you But then it's really not. It's really bad for you. I hope you didn't do it that long. No, it was a decade. It was a decade.

But I didn't make me skinny. What did it do? Here's the thing. Here's the thing about bulimia and doing cocaine. Neither made me skinny. What did it do? No, it's not for me. When I was doing cocaine, I was like the fattest I've ever been. I was living in Argentina. It was $7 a bag.

I was chubby. Okay. Well, I think you might have gotten some stepped on stuff, maybe. Stepped on stuff. It was pretty good. So you're not, and you're what, studying abroad in Argentina? I was studying abroad in Argentina. Okay.

Hell yeah. Yeah. Getting fat. Getting fat off what, the local cuisine? Is a steak, I suppose? Well, that's probably not good. I don't know. I was drinking a lot.

Right. I was fully drinking a bottle of wine a day. It was that. It was a steak. Were you, like, sick as a really little kid and it felt awesome to like, get your mom to care for you, so you were like, I want this? Well, I think I, I think I wanted them to care for me. Like, I would purposely be believing so close to my mom's room, be like, ugh.

And then come out and be like, that was crazy. And my mom was like, good night. Keep it down next time. Keep it down. Very loud in the bathroom. It's not good. I'm trying to watch SVU in here. I need to joke in the bathroom.

Please leave the bathroom. I could do this. It's kind of your culture. Yeah. Never caught, never did a parent catch on? No, and then,

no, and then eventually someone told my mom and then she like went on like a PR campaign and told all her friends. Like, I just found out to my daughters, believe me, like tried to get attention for it.

And then I was like, I was trying to get attention. We're like holding a gun to each other. It's like Russian nesting. Yeah. I was like, what the hell? So true.

Foreign moms like, that's a type of four mom that would like cry about. how hard it is for them. Yeah. And then my dad, who's a nutcase and was a drug addict at the time, took me out to dinner and he was like, so I tried that belief thing. And I was like, what? Your dad's trying to relate to you? He was like, I was brushing my teeth and I was like, I ate a lot today. And I kind of,

and he's like, pretty good. No way. No way. Yes. You started a trend. I started a trend. You just did no chance. That's fucking, were they together at the time? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But legally, speaking. I got you, I got you. Legally speaking. Interesting. All right. So that was super vulnerable.

Yeah. Right. Have you grown up recently? No, I don't. No, I can't do it anymore. Okay, good. It is fucking insane the number of girls who like just grow up with a like a specific, like, whether it's enderrexia or bulimia. And it's like how bad that fucks your.

I don't know a single one who hasn't. Right. Had that. Nothing for you? And now it feels like I'm chopping it in your face. No, no. It's okay. And I'm gonna-

I raised a hand and then I bailed. I'm like this. Oh, I had it. Gabby, you've had an eating disorder. I've been friends to you for 10 years. You were like vegan. You were like vegan. You were one of those eating disorders.

Oh, yeah. No, I've starved myself in a playful way in adulthood. No, you really, for sure, had one. But in high school, no. In high school, no. In high school, I was actually too skinny under malnourish. Shut the fuck up. and my dad would make me drink banana cream muscle milk

several a day to sort of gain weight and then I would almost puke up the banana cream muscle I'm so jealous I was still puking in a different way that's like she's getting attention for being skinny sort of like your dream as a child and she was sickly and Jewish like people were worried about me

because I looked too good I wanted like someone to be worried about me yeah you know well that'll happen with a drug addict than of Eastern European mom. Yeah. I'm worried now. These European moms are either the most loving. I'm sorry, I missed that.

Would you say? I said, I'm worried now if that helps. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just now? You've known her a decade? No, no, she's been worried. Okay, because in my experience, in my experience with Eastern European moms,

they definitely, it's the extremes. Yeah. Where you have the most loving, you can do nothing wrong, or you have the sternest, like I went through World War II or communism or whatever. And we all my my job is to make you survive but I don't even can I don't really think of love in the real in any real way.

My mom is very warm actually. Okay. She she she's my brother can do no wrong. My mom would find like weed in my brother's bed or like alcohol under his bed and be like I wonder who put that there. And then like we found yeah we found like a condom in one of his books once and she was like that is such a weird place for that to be found. And then I would like have a stain in a. my bed and she'd be like, this is heroin's thing. Like, she was so crazy.

Wait, there was a condom in a book? She would, yeah, he, he carved out a hole in a book and put a condom in it. That's awesome. That's so Nancy Drew. That seems like, and by the way, I had Molly in my underwear shirt. Was he fucking, though? Because that feels to me like a plan of someone, like that was something when you're like, oh, I better, I better have my secret condom just in case I get pussy.

He was fucking, unfortunately. My friends, yeah. Oh, really? Oh, my good. This is a disaster. My home life was a disaster. Every part of this is a disaster. Yeah.

I have a butterfly tattoo. Like, I'm not well adjusted. Oh, man. You was fucking your friends? Yeah. He's fucked two of my friends. He's older? Yeah.

Okay, that's... If he was younger, he'd be cool. Right. Fugging your older sisters is friends when you're younger is cool. He didn't fuck them until later, honestly, until college. But he was, he was, he was dating the most popular girl in school. Wow. He was?

I know, it's funny because my brother's very nerdy and like. And tiny. And tiny. He's a tiny boy. He's a five foot six boy. Wow. So he's pretty tall. So he's like, as far as dwarfs go.

He's like, pretty much like average to kind of above average type. He's absolutely huge. This is what I'm saying. Don't worry about it. And he's like, and he's barely short is what I'm hearing. No, he's completely. Right, so it's like the starting power forward of the basketball team. Quarterback, quarterback for the quarterback.

I do respect a five, six, a five, six guy, like getting pussy. That's kind of awesome. I think the short guys are getting a lot of pussy. I think they're getting more. They're getting more pussy. Let's, let's stop. They're getting pity pussy. They're getting pity.

No. Pity pussy. They get regular pussy and pity pussy. No, no, no, no. You think pity pussy. I mean. From a regular, let me, let me, let me, I've been fucking short. my whole life. But how short?

Right. Not shorter than me. How tall are you? I'm like 5'8. Okay. I fucked it short. I was dating a short guy in college that was like 5-7 like a big shorter than me. Okay, again. And they fuck good. We're just going to, for the purposes

of this conversation, 5-7 is tall. 5-6, short. Right, right, right. That's sort of the, that's kind of the dividing line that we all societally agree on. Yeah. Couldn't disagree more.

I think that's tiny as hell. Ah, interesting. Why did you fucking chug some banana milk, you fucking dumb bitch? Hey, get this bitch of banana milk. Somebody get her a banana milk to quiet her down. Eldish, get the thick milks we give women who are talking too much in the studio. Get her some thick milk. Hey, here's a, you want to have this?

It's just like, it's like, it's hot. It's just pure honey. Your mouth is stuck. It's like a Venus fly trap for the rest of the episode. Gabby, are you ready to say that 5-7 is tall? Give her the antidote, Eldis. Yeah. Eldis hit you with a blow dart.

Sorry, short kings. Short kings. You're royal to me. You're royal. That's right. That's more like it. No, I've said this before, but I hilariously, my entire life truly did not know I was. short. How short? How tall are you? I'm 5.7. Wait, you are? I'm, I am 5'8, but I think there's power

in line, going down one inch. Wait, I think you're 5'9. I think that's, like, I've, my whole life is like, is like, is like tricking people into thinking everything is a little better than it is with personality. Right. And that's true. I put the multiplier on. And for some people, it really works, you know? Yeah. Interesting. But my whole luck, because, because, like, me and Eldis have grown up together and we were the same height in kindergarten and my doctor was like you're going to be tall as fuck like in kindergarten my doctor's like you're going to be so tall and i think that's the last time i i like thought about someone saying i was tall or not and my entire like growing up i was like i'm pretty tall like i'm not the tallest guy but i'm not short like in my head i'm like i'm

fucking i also you know i don't know if it helps i've never considered you as short nobody i mean i also agree with that i really pay attention i know i've never once considered your And even was like, you must be 5, 10. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I appreciate that. Real shake-shifter vibe. Thank you for writing another inch the second time. Of course. You're going to be 6'5 by the end.

Sorry, can I... The turn to friends against, this just turned into, like, bullying you guys. And, Steph, you're looking mighty hot right now. Gabby? Next to that. That burns really coming through. Yeah. Gabby, do you need some aloe vera?

It seems to be getting worse by the moment. feels like Israel in here I'd be like I'm in Tel Aviv Damn yeah No I do think there was just like I really think And I just my whole life Even like I made the middle school basketball team

So I'm like basketball teams tall Yeah And then I went to high school And it was like You could not get cut faster Than I got cut at tryouts for the basketball team Because it's it's Baltimore City public schools Kids are doing like windmill dunks

Like, we literally had a kid who was 610 on our team. And what was his race? No, well. He was, I believe he was Filipino. Wait, did you just walk in and they were like, no? It was literally like, all right, everybody, line up. Let's do a sprint back and forth. And they blew the whistle and they're like, you, you, you, you, gone.

And it was like me, a kid with a cross-eyed kid. A kid with like braces on his knees. And I was like, well, I guess I'll try. wrestling. Something a little closer to the ground. Yeah, close to the ground. Wait, I had the opposite. I did gymnastics and I was so tall and they would make us,

they would make us vault and then weigh us afterwards. Oh my God. I mean, horrible life. Yeah, yeah. Wonder what happened there. And they were, and they would weigh us. And then they would be like. Way you?

Yeah, they would weigh us. How old were you? This was, I did gymnastics. I was in the junior Olympics. I did gymnastics for a really long time. And they would call, yeah, they would call over the other coaches when I, I would go and they'd be like, look how big this girl is.

Holy shit. Because I was, I was skinny. Like, you look back at photos, I was like a skinny, tall girl. You were a child. That was a child. Yeah, you were a child. You should not have been weighed by adults that were supposed to help them grow in a skill. Yeah.

You know what I mean? But if you wanted to scale, they're like, Jesus. She's surprised. Come look at this. They had a button if you're over like 85 pounds. The hog button sounds. That's so far. Jesus.

weighing kids for gymnastics. Yeah. What was your best event? I thought you were going to be like, Not good. So how much did you win? So what was your sickest weighing? No, what was the like your, no, you're being modest if you were in the junior Olympics.

I was good at vault and floor and I sucked at everything else. Okay. I was the worst on the team. Oh, the vault. Yeah, that's pretty. And floor. And floor. My floor, I did this.

No, no, no, there's no ribbon. It's not a circus. There's a ribbon. There's no. You're running around tumbling and dancing. Come on, there's a fucking ribbon. Eldis, look up ribbon Olympics. No, no, that's a different sport.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. Ribbon dancing. More dance-based. Yeah, I didn't do that. But my song was the Star Wars theme song because I was cool. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

The like, new hope. The good one. You weren't evil. You didn't do the Sith one. Right. Yeah. Bum, bum, bum. That would have been fucking cool.

A little goth. That was before and after they weighed me. Jay, we and me, I was coming out like, bum, bum, bum, bum. That's fucking insane. And who were the, what are the coaches? Are they like mean ladies? Are they mean Eastern, because I feel like Eastern European? They're mean ladies.

And then there's the boys coach who would like, who would come and make us condition with the boys and he was really fucking scary. It was intense. It was like five times a week too. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was really intense. Where did you grow?

In New Jersey. Jersey. Oh, both Jersey gals. No, no, no. This was like, uh, after school. Like an all star team or whatever. Oh, yeah. And then I did cheerleading because I like broke my back.

And that was also crazy. What would you break? I have a very, I have a fucked up back right now. I had two her needed discs. Damn, dog. At what age? This was, middle of high school.

And then I, yeah, and then I did cheerleading. When was the first good year of your life? She was like, still waiting on it. Honestly, COVID.

Like, 2020. And Debbie, you're like, no one can hurt me in here. You're like a paragliding with Bon Jovi You're on a horse You're like

Hey dad look at me Look how thin I look Naturally Naturally of course Can someone get me Can I get a servant get me a banana milk Oh my god That's fucking wild

I'm tied up in a basement They're still wearing me Yeah. Too heavy. Yeah. They just, for lunch, for lunch, they were just like wave a sandwich below your nose. They're like, all right. Three sniffs, girls, and then back hit the floor again. Smelling is eating.

That's so fucking crazy. I mean, it seems like they're not doing that shit anymore. It seems like now you can be a little. To me or just in general, yeah. To girls. Well, they had that, they had that gymnastics doctor who was raping the girls. Sure. That's. I'm sure that's still happening.

That's surely something. Naser, Dr. Larry. Larry Nile. Larry Nassar. Yeah, a real piece of shit. For the record, we are staunchly opposed to what Larry Nass. I hope, I do hope some bad stuff is happening. I hope he gets hit by a bus. A bus.

He's on my hit list. I do, like, you don't want to, I just hope he's having a real tough time in prison. I can't imagine he's not getting. Yeah. Absolutely. He's getting a different kind of footlong in prison. Yeah. We are sponsored by.

by Subway. Some way. Remember how our mascot just actually was a pedophile? He froze. And we didn't even like change the logo. Like you gotta get a new collar scheme. Where did he go?

He's actually, look up how, is he's serving time? He's in Indiana serving time. My question is, is he's still thin. Ooh. And what was his name again? Jared. Jared.

Did he keep the weight off? That's what I care most about. Is this, did the stress in prison make him thin or fat? Because he had enough money to get commissary. So he could probably get as many Cheetos and shit as he wants. You ever see those TikToks where it's like a guy's making like an ice cream Sunday out of like what you can buy in jail? No.

There's a great genre of TikToks. It's like jail. Like here's nachos and he would like take a bag of like corn chips and like beat them into like. He's out of prison now. Yeah, yeah. But he's just showing you how you ate good in prison. It's like when you would play top chef with your siblings and be like what can I make in the fridge but he's doing it at. Yeah, in prison.

My algorithm's way different. I'll tell you this. I went on a date recently with a guy who's been to jail. Okay. And he told me that in jail, they all pass around different books. They share books. Okay. And when he was in jail, everyone was reading.

Can't read, can't read. I wasn't doing any more crime. I was reading. And he said when he was in jail, they were all reading the Twilight Saga. That's awesome. That rocks. So all of these true blue murderers. Yeah.

Well, you went on a day where the guy was in that kind of jail? No. Well, I guess not. What kind of jail is? He probably did like white collar crime. I don't really know the different kinds of jails. Do you know what he did? Drugs.

Oh. Selling? Doing? Selling, doing. It usually goes hand in hand. I thought they're all in their misk. No. No, there's jail and there's prison.

There's two different things. He wasn't in prison. Oh. Jail is like they just hold you there for a little bit before you go to prison. Should I text him if he was in jail or prison? Yeah. No, don't do that.

Actually, did they go well? Yeah, we're kind of seeing each other. Oh, wow, good for you. Is he a nice guy? Is he Team Jacob or Team Edward? Hey, were you in jail or prison? And were you team Jacob or Team Edward? Great, thank you.

We'll find out soon. I can't wait. And where did you meet? The Internet? The Internet. Nice. Yeah. Cool.

Gabby gets cool guys in her DMs in a way that I don't. I've been really playing the DMs in a fun way. I don't get there. I don't do the dating ads. Those aren't coming through in my DMs. Yeah, what's going on? My DMs are like, I mean, me and Gabby always joke because we tour together. And like the line to meet Gabby is like girls that are like, they're like,

and then my line is like guys like standing like this. Literally like this and they're like, So Steph, what do you think about the war in Gaza? Yeah. It's kind of like your fan-based shit. Like I know we kind of have the same fans, but I just have 0.0-0-01% of years. That's tough, though.

I would not want... And it's your worst ones. Yeah, I would not want a small... Of like year one, cum town. Yeah. I don't want the... Those are my boys. Exactly.

Those are my baby boys. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know what? I'm glad to see they've moved on. And then, yeah, my DMs, it's not like hot, cool guys. Yeah, but I DM too. A couple guys really devastated listening to this podcast right now. There's like some...

Like, I've been DMing her every day. There's some five... seven guys. Which is big. Yeah, which is huge as we've covered. That's where tall starts. That's where tall starts. So you're a real height queen, huh, Gab?

Yeah, I'm a bit of a height. But she's tall. But I'm tall. I'm tall. I'm five, ten. Interesting. See, I think we have the opposite where I just don't, again, I have a mental illness where I think I'm, like, better at everything than I actually am, which

has served me. I think it's good if you think. That's a mental wellness. I think it, yeah, I think it's like being. Speak on my. Thinking you're like 15% better at everything than you are is a perfect amount. Yeah.

Because it's not full delusion. Gabby has that too. But it's confidence. I would bump Gabby's up a couple percent of course. Gabby has we've got to 30%. Gabby has looked me dead in the eyes and said she has no insecurities. And I said surely that's not sure. She's like, can't think of one.

This is really, we're really being pitted against each other right now. But it is true. I have perfect mental health. I'm going to make sure. I would argue you don't, but I'm happy for you. She has no imposter syndrome. That's big. She's the only person I know who doesn't have imposter syndrome.

That's big. No, Zobby doesn't have imposter syndrome. But he's a man and men don't have imposter syndrome. I did. It takes a lot. Like, it really took to be like, the first time I got nervous in a while was like doing a movie with Emma Stone. Like that's where I had, that's where I was like, which I wasn't imposter syndrome.

That was like, why am I here? Like, I was right. I was like correct. I was fully correct. I was going to correct emotion. Thank God, Yorgos Lantemthemos was watching tires. one night, I guess. I don't know how, I still do this day.

It's so random. It's so perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that, that was like the first time I was like, oh, fuck. But now I'm like, it took, it's like, now I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm fucking Hollywood. They've got Hollywood. I don't give a fuck at all. Now it's actually kind of fun because I am shooting a movie and I'm kind of treating it like I did like my job I kind of cared about.

You know what I'm right? That's what you're supposed to get to. I'll just show up. Wait, do you know that where both? obsessed with Anthony Bourdain. Oh, hell yeah. He's, yeah. You're in what?

The Anthony Bordane biopic. Are you playing Anthony? Yeah, I'm young. I'm in flashback. I play him as a child. Oh my God, that's so cool. He's just the New Jersey. Yeah, yeah.

I'm eating a big lollipop. I'm like, I hope I learn what Castile is someday. Your first words. Catch you a pep. Yes, I'm in the Anthony Bordane biopic. I play, I don't want to spoil too much. much, but I think you can guess I play a line cook who bullies young Anthony Bourdain. Fuck, I want that role.

I went out for that, actually. We were both up for that. We were pretty pissed at you. Sorry, gals. No, Anthony Bordano is the love of both of our lives. Love of our lives. Interesting. That's a little millennial of you.

You know what I mean? That's a little... We are millennial. I know. I know your cuss. I'm trying so hard to not seem like one. I'm solid millennial. You're a solid millennial.

No, no, he is the man. I fucking love Bourdain. And those shows were, he was the, it and I, it's a millennial of you. And I say that as a 37 year old fully millennial motherfucker who loves him. It's like, that feels like one of our defining, like generational things. That's our guy. Yeah. They don't, they don't make good guys like that anymore.

He was a quality man, I think. He was everything and more. Yeah. And his books, his books for me. His books are great. Not to talk about books again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, let's see.

I feel like he's never assaulted someone. And that's rare. Yeah, well, you know, I guess. In terms of Hollywood, you know. No, actually, actually, this biopic does take place in the first, it's basically the first two chapters of Kitchen Confidential. It's like his first summer in Provincetown. And he, I think he did get married to, like, the girl he dated as a teen for a long time.

And then they got to first. Now, the second that kitchen confidential money hit, all of a sudden, you know. He was only. fucking hookers. Like, I can see that for him. He's doing heroin and fucking hookers. Which is cool. Which is cool. And probably fun. And I bet he treated them

nicely. Totally. Oh, yeah. If you're, if you're a, if you're a sex worker dealing with a heroin addict, there's no better one than anything. That's a good time. Like those guys are probably, yeah, he's probably gentle. He's cooking afterwards. It's ramen noodle hot dogs. You know, you're in a crack dinner wherever it is. But yeah, he's making the best of it. But who's playing Anthony? Is that public? Yeah, Dom Sessa from the holdovers.

Don't know. Do you know? You do know. He's perfect. He's perfect. He's perfect for it. He fucking killed it. And he's a fucking piece of ass.

Look him up. I think you'll both enjoy. Is he single? Why aren't you setting us up with him? You want me to say you over with Dom? Who's also like 25? Literally set me up with anyone. That's fine.

I don't care. Okay. So it was anyone. That should be something that's sort of bubbling around in your head. You want, see, you're the fact that this is just such proof that like, you know, We are friends, but we're not immediately set you up with all the movie stars I know friends. I actually thought we were. I don't see why you wouldn't consider that.

Hold on. Let me take a pick and I'll send it a little bit. We've met three times. Okay, you text your current prison boyfriend. Picture me. I'll text Dom and be like, hey, do you want to fuck either one of these girls? Just put that right on your story. Just go ahead and put that right on your story.

Do any A-list celebrities? And your and your ghost, I'm available for work. As well as jobs. Yep, yep. Work and jobs. We're here. No, I can't have sex with the 25 real. That's on you.

Yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, you, that's, wow. We, we, we do have a lot in common, Steph. Just two, just two scumbagged Eastern Europeans. Fuck, yeah. Oh, interesting. Is that, is that what you're into? No, I've actually, that's actually, we said that, but I've never fucked the younger guy.

Oh, wow. But I fuck men who are emotionally 11. Oh, come on. Don't say 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 11. Now mentally? Mentally, mentally, mentally.

They're mentally 11. Okay, that's tough. They're not old souls. Right. But they're old men. Yeah, I don't know. But that's not my story anymore. Yeah, no, you're different.

Now, we're changing this narrative. What are we changing? I had a tarot card reader the other day told me that I am going to meet my man soon. He's going to be an air. He's going to work in entertainment. He's going to be very. very rich. What's your sign?

I'm Aquarius, unfortunately. You're such an Aquarius. We were just about to get married. Honestly, everything else except the Aries does check the box. Aquarius is better than Aries in my opinion. I don't know. Aquarius, I can't do another air sign. This is why your life's bad, by the way.

The fact that you're letting stuff like. I was like, oh, you're right. No, it's horrible. And what about it? Educate me. What about the Airstine is a problem? I'm a water. I'm a cancer.

And that's the most sensitive sign. The most feminine sign, actually. Okay. And I need someone who's flowing and grounded. Air signs are all like, I just don't really know right now. Like, you know, I'm just trying to get... You got me there. It's that.

Yeah, you do got me there. They're in the clouds. I'm in the creek. I'm in the babbling bro. Right. You're in the mud. You're up there. Well, I didn't say mud.

I'm in the clouds. I'm fucking with the mud like a pig. I'm flying with the bird. Yeah. You're down there, like a little. I don't have a shoe weight I was eating out of a truck

Yeah You feel a little fatty Your friend rates back She's a little fat Yeah I'll take the fat one No you are not fat I'm sorry you had an eating disorder I'm sorry to end you know

As a member see that's the thing Men also I clearly have an eating disorder by the way It's just the complete opposite one of yours Benj eating you're just not purging after the binge No no I just didn't get the purge Right. But I have an insanely unhealthy relationship to food.

I don't know anyone who has like a good relationship to food. Genuinely. Genuinely. No, sometimes you just see a person like, you usually be out to lunch and they'll just have like three quarters of a sandwich and be like, that was it. Yeah, I guess I. Yeah, but that person is a serial killer. They're out there. I only overeat or under eat.

Same. Those are my two modes. Interesting. And I'm the way that, and I don't cook and I don't have regular food in my house. Gotcha, gotcha, got you. At all. That being said, I, the peptides, oh. Oh, we're getting pepped up.

Gabby isn't, got, what do you want to? Talk about it? Well, I am a peptide princess right now. I'd love to get into, I can't wait to do a bunch of peptides. Why aren't you doing peptide? Because I right now have two traumatic injuries and I'm filming a movie. There's a peptide for that. Excuse me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do want to get some. It works just been crazy right now. I'm just like in the end of the day. I don't have enough time to inject my body. Where do you get these, though? Do you have like a guy? I have a dealer who,

lives in Arizona. Okay, so that's a problem. So, you know what I mean? Like, I'd love for a doctor to do this. And you might also have a doctor. I did. Yeah, yeah. She did. Wait, really? She did. I have a doctor? Yeah. You want a doctor. But I'm such a Jew that the doctor was too much money, so I found a dealer to prescribe me the same things. And now I pay a third of the price. Oh, interesting. Okay. And he's obviously a little league baseball coach in Arizona. That's fucking awesome. He sounds cool. No, he's cool.

He sounds really cool. Yeah, well, I'm going to be in Phoenix. Tell him to come by. Gabby's been trying to get me on these peptides. I'm loving the peptides. And what's it doing for you? I'm on several different ones. She's on a lot.

I'm on a lot. Okay. And you think, why? So you inject multiple jabs every day? I'm doing multiple jabs. I'm doing multiple jabs. Every day? Yeah, I line up.

Hold on. You do a shot every fucking day. Multiple shots. Wow. Okay. And then I line them up. What do you do? I take one by one, right in the side of my ass.

Oh. Little this. Little. Cool. And it's fun and it's exciting. And what are you? She's been actually like she's on crack cocaine. Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun with it.

I'm on something called Reda Trutai that only men with Bitcoin are on and me. Doesn't that make you jacked? It makes you jacked. Is that why you're red? Are you not actually, are you not actually have a sunburn? I think my blood is getting stuck in certain parts of my. I'm on that one. I'm on NAD, what you're doing.

I'm on a hair, skin, and nails one. NAD. N. NAD is not, I think NAD is really just like a vitamin. NAD is just like it. It's not really, I did it one time and it felt good. Yeah, I really like it. That one I feel like I'm not, I'm not scared of the risks.

But what make you jacked? It's, it's a GLP3, so it basically like dissolves all the fat. Oh yeah, you shouldn't be on that. You're fucking so skinny. That's insane. I know, but it's like, remember Gabby said she has no insecurity and has a never had an eating disorder. This is fucking crazy. Yeah.

Someone who was so malnourished as a child Her dad had to treat her like a leukemia patient Is on red of truth You're on, I'm on a GLP1 You're on a GLP3 Of the people in this room You're on a more You're on the more advanced

Fat loss drug Yeah That's insane, yeah But I'm on a microdose Okay Well it started with my friend took OZempik And she lost like 30 pounds And every now and then I was like

Let me just get a hit Right, that's not how it works Yeah So It can be It really shouldn't be I've been just doing it Okay, all right

Yeah, no you're right You have no mental health problems whatsoever Okay, that's nice And are you And so you're at the You're looking to ride peptides To a better life I'm just interested in how far

We could push this You know what I mean Would you like to be a Would you put like robotic stuff in your body? Would you go sideboard? Yeah, yeah I would do full transplant brain transplant She's being serious I would do anything.

I would genuinely do anything. What's the dream? Like, I read a book where they would clone you and they, uh, and you could, you just had like young version, like you picked whenever you thought you were the hottest and you just cloned yourself at that moment. And anytime your like body started like, you would just trade in and you body every like five years. So I could like have my 11 year old body. What is with 11 for you?

So I can finally understand the man I'm dating. Now we're out there Your brain unfortunately would stay the same You start dating pedophile I would take out all my blood replace it with virgin blood I would be chewing sort of classic witch moves I'll do all of it

Okay I don't think you should want to do all that stuff Why? And you're healthy like why are you doing that Because it's fun I'm from New Jersey It's a part of the culture Well I guess your dad was on was it meth Yeah Yeah yeah

So this is a positive I guess Is your dad taking peptides? Yes. Everyone in my family's on peptides. Oh, hell yeah. That's fucking awesome. My dad's literally doing cocaine and peptides. I love one day we got to get you and your pops on.

Oh, whenever you want. Hey, you don't want my dad on too. I would actually. Wait, you guys don't want my dad on. I would have, if you want to contact him for, I assume, the first time in a decade. Anyone knows where he is? If you've been put him on the pod. I'm sure one of your viewers has sold him cocaine.

Tell him it pays to him. $250. Maybe he'll show up. There's a knock in the door. He's already here. He's carrying out one of the TVs

in the fucking lobby. He's stealing the copper. Oh, fuck. No, he's sober. Oh, he has turned his life around. Oh, good for him. No, he's doing good. Is it religious-wise?

Like, did he go like... He got really into AA. Ah, okay. But he's not really, He's not like drinking the Kool-Aid of the religious stuff. My dad's actually really funny and cool and like a hippie guy, but he doesn't call me. Right. Yeah.

Okay. That's actually, yeah. That's tough because he's sober now. You know, that's the thing is like, okay. When he was an addict. He's clear with mine. He's like, ah, what am I going to fucking do today? Fuck, this is boring.

He has nothing to do. Being sober sucks. I don't know. I guess I'll crack another Sudoku or something. Do I have any close relations I have to call? Nah. Maybe I'll take my son to a baseball game. Maybe I'll take my perfect son to a baseball game.

My perfect small son. Oh, damn. Did you ever get a stepdad or did mom go single? So here's the thing. This is actually topical. My mom has been dating a man named for 10 years. Okay. And they recently, he's, oh, he's an accountant.

And my mom has roped him into doing all of her gypsy friends' taxes. Awesome. Picture like 15 Eastern European women. He's doing their taxes for free. This year, my taxes were such a nightmare that he broke up with my mom over it. No. Come on. He's so mad at my mom.

He's ghosting her because he begged her not to open me an S-Corp. My mom did it anyway. She opened it wrong. She also called it, this sucks productions, but she did this sucks production. Also, because she was like, it's just one. Right, right, right. And she opened it wrong and she didn't fill out the right paperwork. I'm being fined.

I don't know. And he dumped her. He's not, he's not talking to her right now. 10 years? No, it's a disaster. I haven't filed my taxes yet. That's awesome.

He's just clearly been cheating. He's like, nice, an excuse. He's like, Texas were crazy. Your daughters, your bitch daughter, your fat daughter's taxis for that. I get why the first dad left.

Jesus Christ, I'm drinking now. Damn. You really. two need to do your taxes. Yeah. You get an extension? I don't know.

You don't know. You don't have a guy? I'm like really bad at like surviving it. Like I have like low survival instincts. That's actually true. It is true. She does have like four. Steph has always had like the best job.

I have two 401ks. She's two four all in case. She doesn't know how to get access to. Yeah, I don't have the passwords. I've had I've been in corporate America since I was seven. What were you doing? Yeah, I was the youngest director at Condonast ever. It's true.

Wait, what do you mean? Like, I would direct videos for like Vogue and GQ and stuff. That's awesome. But, and I've like been financially independent from forever and all this stuff. But I'm like also like fully retarded. Yeah, like she was the youngest director of Connie Nassan. We'd go on a trip and her plane. She wouldn't pick a seat on the plane.

Right. Like I don't have a phone charger with me. Right, right, right. Like she would just buy. I see. But I'm like running businesses. But like how? And I would keep getting promoted and be like, I don't know.

So you can do high level survival. stuff, but the day to day is boring to you. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, like I don't buy groceries. I don't cook. So it sounds like you need a little five, four husband to do all your, to do tasks for you. Yeah.

Yeah. A little guy. Yeah, I need a little guy. Yeah. If you know any. Yeah. Why? Those DMs are lighten up, sister.

And let's just say it's not going to be an improvement on you on what you were complaining about at the beginning of the episode. That's going to make your life a little bit worse. Yes. I get that, though, because I actually feel the exact same way where I, like, would oftentimes, like, my whole life, I've never thought about money. And then it just, I got lucky that things went the way they did. But I can't, I don't know how to like, you know, I don't know how to like, like, if a, if a bill comes, like, if a paper bill comes, it's never getting fucking bad. Yeah.

I don't know how to do, I don't know how to do upkeep stuff. Low executive function. Very low executive function. Yeah. I can't plan. plan stuff. Like, sometimes I get really excited to sit down and, like, be like, I'm going to think about the next two weeks.

And it takes me, like, just four hours to look at a calendar and be like, yeah. Podcast at 12. Yeah. And I'm like, fuck, dude. All right. I need a break. Like, just literally scheduling shit takes me so fucking long.

Like, logistical shit like that takes, but creative. And it sounds like maybe it's a similar thing where things that excite you, you can do, things that you see is like, worth your time. A little bit, yeah. But also numbers are hard. We're vibes. We're more vibes than we are numbers.

We're vibes. But dwindling attention span because of social media. So then that's also going. So I'm like fully becoming like kind of like this. Gen Z. You can't, that's not how it works. If you give yourself the same like mental illness of a young person, you don't become young. You understand that, right?

That's what she's doing. I think you're wrong. I think me and Gabby are both experimenting different. formats. That's sort of her treatment. I see, I see, I see. Yes, yes, yes. Are you just depressed, it sounds like?

I actually don't think I'm depressed. I think I'm like pretty... Just your affect? The point you said that. I actually don't think I'm depressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So shit's going good. I'm like a pretty joyful person.

Yeah. I just get... You have a lot of complaints. I get in some whole... Am I complaining a lot? It seems like you're not satisfied. I think I'm just stating the facts of my life. It just,

just seems like you're not, that's why I'm not saying you're not. Don't be genuinely confused. I think it's just because I'm a brunette and I'm saying next to Gabby, who's a blonde. So anything I say seems like, I'm not that stupid. It's like a black, I'm like,

I can understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm like, oh, the one with yellow hair happy. The goth one's sad. I think this is the least goth I've ever been, right? Yeah. I'm pretty happy.

That's good. That's good. You're a bitch. Okay. Yeah. Okay. You know. Cool.

All right. We'll revisit in a few months, I guess. When Stephs killed herself. She loved Anthony Bourdain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just know I got depressed. Once I, when I broke my arm and I had to fucking postpone a bunch of shit, it just, I was like, oh, right.

This is what, like, I've been depressed as fuck. Postpoting stuff's fun, but. Having an injury is the worst thing in the world. That's true. I once broke both my feet and I had to cancel a year of my life. Both your feet? Yes. How?

Because she had an eating disorder. I wasn't eating. And I wasn't taking vitamins and my bones were very brittle. And I was walking down the street. I was walking. You fucking broke two feet walking? Yeah. I sort of was like playing with a dog a little bit.

I went like this. And I was wearing those fake Balenciaga socks sneakers. You remember those? And my foot sort of fell off the, you know. Those are maybe the worst shoes of all time. She had a decades long eating disorder. Yeah. Yeah.

That she's pretending. She was walking and went. Yeah, yeah, that's fucking nuts. And now she's on that time. And what did you do? You just fucking laid out? I sort of laid up. I was obviously living with a boyfriend who had no teeth and he would sort of carry me around and he was doing a lot of carrying.

This is really fascinating. This is proof of like a perspective changing everything because Gabby's life also sounds bad. But she's smiling about it. I've been smiling this whole time. But there is a different, I think you'll know. I think there's a quality to Like, Gabby's legitimately Like happy

Yeah You know It's your face is smiling Those eyes Those eyes can Those eyes are stuck We're working on it We're working on it

I think NAD is really gonna help I feel so good You need a little more delusion That's really all it is Yeah I'm very realistic Who was the toothless guy Where do you find him

He was a British guy He had no front teeth But the teeth Next to the front teeth Were gold Oh cool shout out. He had scabies. He had scabies. He had active, long-lasting scabies. He had an old jilloppy that broke down in the back of my cousin's house. And he left it there for six months to a year

after we broke up. Yeah. You now move back to England. He's doing very well. Good for him. Yeah. And you both seem to love England. I feel like every time I look at Instagram, one of you was in England. She, England pilled me. Yeah. Yeah. What's up with that? I just love it. That's weird. They're all so sad. She's an anglophile. I don't really like it that much. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like. the accents. I'm actually coming off of it right now and I've been sort of into America, but like... Right now. Right on time.

Yeah, perfect. I like what they're doing. If Israel wasn't that hot, I'd be there and now I want to come to America. My two favorite places. That's a joke. Don't clip that. I'll fucking kill you. Clip it. No, don't, don't. No, I really like England. I like the...

I just like it. I loved London. I did. I wanted to hate it so bad. I want to be like, and London sucks, Dick. New York number one, baby. And then you're like,

it is a little better than New York, I think. It's so much. British people are funny and they. Well, not so much. Let me say,

not so much. Pub culture's cool. Liverpool's the best. Better night life. I don't think I've been to Liverpool. Manchester's amazing. Like the New York of England? Manchester's not amazing.

That's fucking ridiculous. You don't like Manchester? Is that where I went? It's like a fucking mall. That was one of the places. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

No, it's fucking not. Well, you're grading on a curve. It's England. I mean, it's a concrete. It's all fucking disgusting. Yeah. It had like burger. It was a place that it was like a fucking strip mall.

There's burger. Well, I think you were just at a strip mall. Yeah, I guess that was right by the train station and everything. You were at their Myrtle Broadway stop. That's like judging New York by Penn Station. Yeah. It's better than fucking whatever I saw in Manchester. I don't know.

The world's most famous arena right across the street. Pizza Supremma right there. Get a great slice. I don't know. Sounds pretty fucking good to me. Have you guessed it? There's also a subway. We went to Wales, which isn't England, but that was fun.

I love Ireland. Ireland's awesome. I like a Peky blinder. I like how they're all violent and oppressed. And you look tan over there. Oh, that's a good point. Also, they're very... That makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the guys, I think England has the most disparity that guys are really hot and the girls are fucking ugly. Except the people that people that come. come to our shows. Yeah. But. So busted, you sound a lot. No,

no, no. You can't walk that back. A lot of busted whores over in England. Yeah. It's not a great looking group. So you walk around and I don't see. In my head, I just think about like,

like, I guess I only think about when I've heard black girls talk in a British accent. And to me that's so hot that I'm like, oh, the girls are hot.

I think the accent catches me. Black British guys are really hot. The rappers. You never seen anything like it. Yeah. And I'm at Manchester. You know? Yeah, they're so...

Everyone's in a blazer. I like that. In shortage house. In shortage house. Yeah. And then you, but then like, so you prefer other parts? Because I feel like you're both always traveling internationally. Yeah.

That's true. Were you just in Europe? I'm a Euro girl through and through. Gotcha. You know, but I'm big on the South Mediterranean, you know. But I also love, hey, Berlin. Right. Hey.

So Berlin. I love Kenamine. I love Kenamine. I was just in Berlin and I kind of want to move there. Interesting. You know what I mean? Do you go to Bernheim? Bernheim?

That's what I say that. Bergheim? Bergheim. No, it wasn't open because it wasn't a weekend. But I'll be going. I like, we'll go on like one bendery here. That's like that then puts me out for the rest of the year.

Yeah. You know what I mean? That's awesome. That's awesome. Definitely not something you want to think about. When it's like all you're looking forward to is that bender, you're like, God, let me just get to the fucking drug addiction.

I can't move from my vacation. And it's, Each year gets a couple days longer. Famously, I always end up in a hospital in Europe, as you know. Anytime. Steph acts like, first of all, we go to Europe all the time. Yeah. Together.

And any time we go to Europe, Steph acts like she's like, oh, I'm partying, I'm parting. No, she gets strep day two. Day two. She goes, immediately goes to the hospital. Wait, do you get strep a lot too? I get strip every time I leave my house. Me too. I think it's an STD.

You think so? I think one, it's an STD. Well, no, hold on. Did you get as a kid? I don't remember. Because I got it as a kid and it just kept going. Every time we're on tour, I get strep at least once a tour. Because I think it's from exhaustion and like I think your body just whatever.

But yeah, I get it every time. You should really try NAD. You're right. Well, now I carry around. I went to Mexico. I got a Moxas-Sullin. The Phoenix Little Sluggers coach. He really says you should do some N-A-D.

When he's not rearranging little fat child, which fat child is going to play catcher, which one's going to be in right field. Trigger. Trigger. Trigger, trigger, trigger. Trigger, hey, hey, hey, come on. No one was a fat. child here than me. All right, let's fucking relax. I was incredibly thin.

Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah, she's always in a hospital. Oh, did you have to go this time to a hospital? This time, I didn't go. I was sick, but now I carry around a moxacillin for Mexico that I got in a Mexican pharmacy just in case. Okay. And I sort of

just start taking that right before I go. And really shouldn't do that. You really should not just take antibiotics just in case. Yeah. That also fucks up your gut. I recently had strep twice in two weeks. I got strep. I think I gave it to a guy.

He didn't take antibiotics. I went back. We had sex again. And he gave me back my own strep. And he never took antibiotics. Whoa. And I was on them for a month. Do you think his like tonsils are going to explode?

I don't know. I was looking at his tonsils and they didn't look good. Yeah. But he was like, he was like, I'm going to pass it. And I was like, awesome. But he's fine. That's one of the dumbest things you could pause.

It's like the most, you take one antibiotic. You feel like 80% better immediately. Yeah, he just wanted to... This is a dumb guy? This is a dumb guy who we hope dies from stress. Obviously. Not in prison? What are some of his negative attributes?

He's been to jail too. Multiple times. He's awesome. We like a guy with a little grit. Back in my own clothes, girls. And I think it's time we hit the Stavvy's World hotline brought to you by our pals invisible for some calls. You guys truly...

You know what? No one has showed what expert. they are and how exactly right they are to give people advice than you two, than the first 50 minutes of this podcast, no one has done a more authoritative job convincing our listeners that they should heed your word than what we've just experienced. I have perfect mental health. Don't forget that.

First question. Without further ado, I don't know why we're wasting time. Let's use these two beautiful brains to help our call. And faces. And faces and bodies. Right. Let's use these two nice brains and pretty good bodies. to Elmar,

the Elmar. Beautiful women. And so, anyway, go ahead. Hi, I have been married about 12 years this year.

Nice. When we first got married, I found out my husband had cheated on me with some escort services. This was shortly after I gave birth to our first daughter. Oh.

Oof. We worked through that. I had another. Kid. We worked through that. We worked through that. He's still fucking them. Kid. Then a few years later, I felt pressured to be in an open marriage, which I didn't want.

It's me. Jesus Christ, this is brutal, this poor girl. He did I'm meeting someone. And I did have an affair. He told you to, he wanted you to fuck, so he could keep fucking sex workers. He wanted you to just dick down your fucking... I think I left this voicemail. I've been in this exact situation.

I'm not kidding. Sevens two kids, by the way. Both have strep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep going. A fair for about 20 months. And I felt really bad about it. Wait, wait, Elvis, did we miss something?

She did this when she felt she was in an open relationship, right? Yeah. That's not an affair. She calls it in the fair, but it was after this poor girl. There was probably rules and stuff that she broke. And she's being manipulated, obviously. Yeah, but she does, yeah, she feels, even if, there were technically rules. Like, it is funny.

I do have a friend who figured out a way to cheat in an open relationship and it's like, come on. That happened to me. Really? Yeah, because our rule was like no exes and then he fucked his ex. That's crazy. Yeah. I mean, that's cheating no matter what the circumstances. Right, and it just happened to me again recently.

Oh, my God. Yeah, no, I was real off about you being devastated right now. I'm the one I'm the one reading the situation wrong. That sadness you're seeing in her eyes, it's actually joy. There's sorrow in my eyes. Keep going, Jesus, fucking Christ. And I felt really bad about it.

So I ended up telling my husband. Oh, my God. And he was extremely upset, which surprised me because he wanted an open marriage. Yeah. Oh, so he wanted open marriage and then she, but they didn't officially do it. And so she started an affair. Okay. I see, I see, I see.

Ah, damn. It does hurt that you did something dumb because you were, you had the upper hand. I don't think that's the truth. I think that they, I think they were in an open relationship. And then the affair was that it wasn't just fucking. She was like. Oh, okay. It was emotional.

I see, I see, I see. Okay. And I had figured he was probably cheating on me anyway. He was. So we're in therapy now. Oh, my God. So we're trying to move forward. Damn.

And the other day he said that I looked better. and I was putting more effort into my appearance when I was having an affair. And then I don't do that for him anymore. I'm confused because I'm... So can you suck off your coworker again so you hit the elliptical every once in a while? I would genuinely, and I'm being serious, poison and murder this man. I mean, that's an... It's funny because I do, again, I guess I see the twisted logic here of being like,

hey, you know, while you were cheating, you, like, cared how you looked. It's like, you clearly liked, it would be nice if you put that effort. Now, if it came from someone who hadn't already cheated on her, hadn't pressured her, like, this is crazy. When you're this guy, you kind of have to be like, all right, you kind of gave me a get-out-of-jail-free card. Yeah. That guy's never going to do that, though. Yeah, yeah.

I dated this guy. They're sick. Yeah, of course. And they're narcissistic. They're narcissistic. I mean, if you want to pick it out, it's up to you. I think don't. I think don't.

Keep going. It needs bail money. It's like just answer my question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm a really good guy. I'm confused because I'm the same size. I wear the same clothes. I'm 5'8.

I'm a size 6 to 8. She's giving us her to imagine. I know I look good. Oh, my God. I'm going to cry. I don't really know what he's trying to say here. I know this girl's voice sounds like steps on his look. What I should do from here

Is my husband just never satisfied? Yeah, he's a piece of you. Am I never going to be enough for him? Yes. Yeah, this is an intrinsically evil man And I would get a work Because we have two kids. That's a tough part.

This is emotional abuse. This is abuse. Yeah. At the very least, it's a horrible relationship. Never stay together for the kids. I've never understood that. That's crazy. It's never worked.

You're not crazy. You're not crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get when you're so wrapped up. Sometimes when you've constructed such a story about a relationship to justify why you're still in it, it's really hard to like unravel from that. Yeah, I mean, when that's psychologically, that's very true. But also when you have a, these people also just have logistically, they're bound together.

Yeah. Two kids. They've, I mean, even just having to get a place. You know what I mean? Like they probably have a house together and a part, like, your life. There's like 10 steps. Inertia is so every layer, every year you're in a like marriage and it just like adds a layer of inertia that keeps you in it.

Yeah. I mean, so that's clearly what she said. I mean, look, the real answer here is a guy's cheating on his pregnant wife with escorts. No, this is a sinister. You just say, oh, this, I don't want this guy to be like, you know, you gave him a second shot and then he, you worked through it, you said, and then he clearly tried to like, he just repackaged cheating. He cheating with open relationship.

This is like millennial branding. Like remember there's that company Bloom that just like put bright colors on metamusel and was like, it's good for your digestion. And it was just like what our grandparents used to fucking drink. It's like that. I fell for that. They basically have done that with open relationships

is just millennial rebranding. It's horrible. And so this is, yeah, yeah, it's fucking crazy. I mean, it's okay. Yeah, no, it's so nuts. Don't do it. First of all, don't do it. I think the first time you do the podcast,

you're in the depths of that. that and just privately I was just like, never going to work. Never going to work. And it did it. And it did it. There was literally like 20 minutes of my life where I pitched that to somebody and instantly I felt like a fucking idiot. I was like, no, no, no, never mind.

That's so fucking stupid. Yeah. It really is like great for men and horrible for women. Well, yeah. It's not great for all. I mean, I think usually it's great. Men think it's going to be great. I think the usually what happens in a like,

marriage that's been established is that the guy thinks it's going to be awesome and then he quickly realizes oh it's so much easier for a woman to just get, if she wanted to she could fuck a guy. It's good for certain men. If you can fuck. What usually ends up happening is the guy

well men can have sex and compartmentalize it I think a lot better. That's what you mean. You mean like they're men are more capable of enjoying it. But then when a woman and this is what I find in most open relationships, the woman resist and then she's fine like fuck okay I'll do it because you are and then they kind of fall in love with someone because that's because they're fucking men. Because they're not manipulating them.

But also we fuck someone and then we're like, I love you. I love you. And then the guy's like, what the fuck? And she's like, well, you fucked 500 people. I fucked one and I fell in love of them. And then they figure out a way to be like, no, you cheated by having feelings. Even though

I wanted to fuck around. I was just using women as receptacles. As jizz trash cans. How dare you do I contact missionary? Yeah. That'd be really funny if there are rules on positions. You can do missionary, but you have to be wearing sunglasses.

Yeah, and you can do the sideways one, but not, dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring back family values. I'm serious. I think you should kill him. And I know I'm playful with that. Legally, no one on this podcast is telling you to kill anyone. I think you should slowly poison him to death. So no one would ever find out.

Sounds like a loser. This is loser behavior. And he sounds ugly. This is a loser behavior. He might not be out. We don't know. He could be ugly. Sounds ugly.

That's besides the point. The perfect height for a man. Why are we complimenting this guy? I don't understand. But I mean, is there any more elders? Are we done? So, yeah. I mean, this to me feels.

And don't come to this podcast for that. No, you genuinely sound upset and I think you should go seek professional help. Well, they're in therapy. But I think. I got, let's be honest. They're in couples there. Right, right. She needs her own therapy.

Do a little individual. A hundred percent. And then also I think you should get your, the guy's the shithead. I think you should get your kids a really fun, whimsical stepdad. Who does your taxes? Who does your taxes? Yeah. Who is nice.

You guys can, you can fix it big. You can fix it. Please. Yeah. Yeah. Take my mom back. Please. We miss you. Yeah.

I think get away from this evil manipulative man. Yeah. I mean, to me, this is like, look, I do think cheating is bad, but it is something you can get over in a relationship, theoretically, but somebody has to really change their, you know. No, don't give her that. No, no, I mean, not you. Ding!

A sort of different constitution. I think everybody gets, not everybody, but I think it's possible to get, depending on the relationship and depending on personalities and depending on where you are in life, it's definitely possible for, you know, one case of infidelity, depending on on personalities, for somebody to get over it, right?

That's, that's, like, not, you know, some people, it's a hard line. Some people, it's like, let's figure it out. But when you've already forgiven somebody for a pretty fucked up version of it, like when you're pregnant. He, Chloe Kardashian, do you? Yeah, Lamar.

He lamarded her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was actually a different guy. Oh, I'm sorry, Tristan. Yeah, yeah. I remember, I know all the basketball players that have cheated. on Chloe Kardashian.

From a hoops fan perspective. This is the Venniogram. Yeah, this is the Venn diagram. You know him with Kardashians. I know them from great, hilarious photo of him in that hookabar, by the way, Tristan Thompson. With the girl in his lap?

Yeah, I had a basketball podcast at the time, so I covered it, you know, extensively. I was a journalist at the time. Yeah, I was a journalist at the time. But wasn't Lamar smoking, like, crack? He was on crack. Yeah, he was, he like had a stroke in a, in a, at,

the Las Vegas, or not the Vegas, the cat ranch, the, like, in, in wherever Nevada. The brothel. The brothel, yeah, yeah, yeah. Henderson, is that the town? Oh, what does that place call? I don't know. The bunny ranch. The bunny ranch, that's it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, which if you're going to have a stroke on your favorite drug, getting your dicksuck by four. Not a bad. Not a bad. It's a cool way to go. Yeah, he's still around. Shout out to Lamar.

Honestly, an incredible, a player that was. ahead of his time. A lot of players are playing that way now. He was a, he was a four that had guard skills. And he was, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he really got a lot out of him, you know, you know, well, yeah. Actually, that's actually something we might need to study with. Yeah. I need guard. Not that kind of guard. They're not like, not like emotional guards. No. Off with his head. All right. I apologize. Um, anyway, I think like, there's an I do think, and look, go to couples' counts and go to your own therapist.

Have your personal therapist confirm the hunches three comedians have right now. Right. But it re, I would say, if this was a close friend of mine who you are basically, listen, everybody calls in, you know, I don't know if you're on the page on a body for you. But subscribe. Subscribe. Because, you know, I'm about to. Obviously, you can afford it. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. You'll be, hopefully you'll be getting a number of. nice alimony payment soon. Pretty soon. I do, if this is my friend, it was a personal friend of mine, a thousand percent, I'm saying you got to go. And also the guy's not going to change at this point. No, no, no, no.

He's too old and cemented in his way. But also, you've kind of let him get away with it, right? It's like he got away with it once, and then he has this weird. And, Eld, you're, they weren't an open relationship or they weren't. She never really clarified one way or another. She said they talked about it. Because to me, this may be. sounds like, unfortunately, we may be, she did, it's kind of he cheated than she cheated.

So if that's the case, so there's two different, just to cover all our bases, if it was just if it was like you took an open relationship too far, whatever, whoever's fault it was, it doesn't seem like it's going to work, right? Now, if you cheated and he didn't, I get why you maybe feel guilt, but I also feel like on some level, this woman wanted to do something. something bad. To get out. So that they, no, no. So they could be even.

So that she could be like, well, now we can be. I want to know her star sign. An eye for an eye. I want to know if she's a water sign. Honestly, up until the open relationship, it's like, okay, an eye for an eye, whatever.

But then when he said you look like shit, that's when you start to slowly poison and kill this thing. Now, devil's advocate, right? Let's just, so we've given the, we've given what we think. Because like this seems like there's a lot of fucked up shit going on. It's probably beyond repair.

But again, go to your therapist. just you do some real search and whatever. Devil's advocate, right? He cheats on her, right? He feels with, you know, sex workers. So it's like maybe in his twisted way, he's like, it's like, you see those Japanese TikToks where it's like, is cheating with a prostit?

Is it cheating if you fuck a prostitute? And they're like, no, it's a job, right? And it is. In his way, he's thinking, well, I didn't have an affair. She was pregnant. I didn't want to bother her with my sexual desires. I tried to take care of it. It got, I regret it, whatever.

We went to therapy. And then years later, I pitched an open relationship. She told me no. Then behind my back fucks a guy for two years or whatever. How long was it? 20 months. 20 months. You know, pretty close.

Yeah. And now he's like, but I still love her. Let's get back into therapy. He feels cucked because he literally was, right? Like in a real way. And like she had an emotional affair. and she was seeing this guy. You're like three seconds away from calling this woman a bitch.

Well, I'm just, I'm just trying to lay it all out. You made your bed, you bitch. Hold on, Red Pilsula. Let me finish and then you can take over. Maybe I can figure out the math on how to make this guy sound awesome. No, I'm just saying like, I'm just giving the two sides here. This is the only way I could, this is what we could be missing potentially is what I'm saying. And then he feels cucked.

He's also maybe like, he's the kind of guy who can't really say what he feels emotionally. and that's not an excuse. And maybe this is just his like, because some people say they can, maybe he, unlike her, can't get over the cheating. And so now he's being passive aggressive about it. And he's like, oh, you looked better. You know, he's just lashing out this way.

Also, I will say, you do start to josh it up when you have a crush. So she probably was. And he's working out. Like, she's going to look good for her ugly, weird, demented little husband who's dying actively from poison. I know.

You know? Only in your dreams is this man dying from poison. Like, why would she be hitting soul cycle? Well, I guess the argument would be because they're in a loving relationship and you want to look better for your partner. They're not. They're not. But that's, I'm just trying to lay it out here. Elton, do you want to take a fully red pill take or not?

Not really. Yeah. There's just really no scenario where like, even if she technically cheated or whatever, he's just a bad guy. Well, we haven't heard his side of this. And that's exactly. But I know you're saying, like, yes. Maybe on the technicality, she did cheat or something. I mean, she did cheat.

She said herself. But once you're basically a relationship off technicalities, you know it's, you're in a bad zone. Yeah, you're in a bad zone. That's the thing. No matter which of the two scenarios it is, it doesn't seem like it's going to work. It doesn't sound good. Even at the very least, like you're not keeping up with yourself in your relationship means you just don't fucking care. Yeah.

And let alone, we hear how her how she sounds. Yeah, you sound heartbroken. She sounds sad. So I don't know, dog. You know, we laid it all out. It doesn't seem good. Again, do some soul searching. Confirm these hunches with a mental health professional that's just yours, not your couples therapist.

And go from there. But, you know, good luck. Support you no matter what. Girls always do that. Girls are like, you have to break up with them. It's abusive. But support you no matter what. No matter what.

Whatever you do, I support you. We're still getting drinks on Friday. Okay. Wow, that was very serious in a way I wasn't expecting. That's how this show goes. We make fun of them a little bit, and then we give some real wisdom. It's beautiful. I'll bring the temperature down a little here.

Okay, what else we got, Elbe? Hey, Stabby, baby, Elvis, esteemed guest. I'm kind of sitting on this, I don't think so much a question, but I guess I want to get your opinion on this. So I'm an ad-victor of, like, action figures, statues, things like that. Relax. I like that. I like that. Being a married man now.

It's kind of frowned a rock card. You know, buying all. Is this Greg Stone? Frown upon, you know, buying all this stuff. My wife likes to save money, you know, thinks about the future. Me, not so much, but I'm on board with this. And we do pretty good. We're not like living paycheck to paycheck or anything.

We're pretty good with our finances. but I've managed to I want to get an $8,000 Grogu Baby Yoda but our daughter needs braces What do you think I should do? Sort of hide money from her

without her realizing which I used to buy said collectibles Like on the day she's working When I'm at the house before her And I have able to achieve like My collectibles Without her knowing And since I have

so much stuff as it is. She doesn't really realize if I get something new. So you're lying to your wife. And you're hoarding figurines. Yeah. Pay attention to my collection.

So you're damaging the trust in your marriage to acquire Dragon Ball Z figurines. Which I get. Yeah, yeah, okay. Let's just establish that. Keep going on. Is it bad that I'm hiding money from her?

Yeah. On this stuff? Because when I Compared to what my dad used to do with Wow. My dad cheated. It's like I can't be like, well, my dad tapped in.

He's like when I compare it to Hitler killing all those Jews. It's not that bad. Dude, that's hilarious to be like, compared to my dad. My dad hit my, and I barely hit my wife. Only when she looks through my figurines. Only if she takes something out of the packaging

and does, decreasing its value. Is it, is it a dad that I'm hiding money from her and spending it on this stuff? Because when I compare it to what my dad used to do and he would hide money from my mom and go out with mitches and stuff, you know, like...

Right, so it's a pattern. I feel like I'm not doing bad, so to speak. Compared to him, you're not. So I'd like to get your opinion on this. Thank you. Well, this is like, this is kind of like how, you know, even like a fucking chihuahua used to be a, Wolf.

You know what I mean? Like, his dad still hid the money. You know what I mean? It's like, yes, you have been, the viciousness

has been bred out of you. Although Chihuahua's maybe a cockad, a poodle or whatever the fuck. Just some white fluffy dog. I don't fucking know. What's one of those? You know,

a bejean freeze. I'm trying to, I don't, I didn't grow up with money, so I don't know these small dogs are. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

That's the Europeans don't consider dogs, pets. They all live outside. I actually am the same way. Yeah. But basically what I'm saying is, You've read out the viciousness from these traits, right? Like you're not, but you're still being dishonest to your wife.

And it's like, look, you're hiding it because she wouldn't want this to happen. Like you're just doing something against her wishes. Wait, where is he getting this money from? He's just socking away a little bit of his own personal money. It's giving offshore accounts. It's giving autism. I mean, it sounds like he has autism, right? Or yeah, he's just, yeah, maybe.

He's calling into this podcast. I Yeah I think There's something There's something super interesting About the phrase he keeps repeating Hiding Money Which I've never heard it like

That's just It sounds like he's saying a few dollars And putting it under his mattress And being like When she's not home Well this is clear You know why elders It's probably because this

And even because he's thinking of it In terms of his father His father probably literally hid money Yeah Like under the fucking man Like how many foreigners do you know my, you know what I mean? Like my parents had fucking money

in like a fucking sock drawer and shit like that. I'm sure your parents had like a little rainy day cat. That's some real like foreigner shit. And he clearly can only think of his relationship to his wife through the paradigm of his parents. So I think that's why he's repeating that phrase. He's like so smart.

It's like crazy. I'm not that. I'm really not that smart. No, I think about you is that you're absolutely so cute and smart when you do this part. And you're like, so like poison the! And you're going to be like beautiful genuine advice

I do like Freud would look at this through the lines of Lacan That's the thing I know how to maybe sound I'm just good at talking So my dumb ideas I can package them

But I just think I think that like you gotta free yourself Of that Just because you're not as big Just because you're a minor piece of shit Compared to your dad Doesn't mean you're not being a piece of shit Like would you be mad

If your wife was like taking, hiding away. If you agreed to share all your stuff and she was like... Buying peptides? Bu, yeah, buying N-A-D. He's like, she looks amazing though. Yeah.

She looks amazing. Yeah, you're just lying, is the truth of the matter. And having figurines is embarrassing. It is embarrassing. At least your dad was cool and was spending it on sex and hookers. Your dad sounds fucking cool. My type of guy. I would rather if I found out my boyfriend was hiding money,

I'd go, please tell me you're spending it on prostit. Please tell me it was hookers. Please tell me it was hookers. And then I open the class. I'm actually entering a go-car derby. And I'm using it. I'm using it to make it more aerodynamic. It's just a much of plastic yokai.

And a katana. Yeah, ooh, not bad. Yeah, pretty cool. So look, dude, I just think two things are here. Two things are going on here. A is the like, clearly you're thinking of everything through the way your parents' relationship was, which is how everybody starts, right?

But that's the kind of the base, you're talking about Freud, that's kind of the basis of like psychology, you know, and especially our little armchair psychology we're doing here. But also you're embarrassed of your fucking little hobby. Yeah. That's what it is. And it's, and I would say, don't be embarrassed. That's the thing. You got to free yourself of the embarrassment.

Look, you're a fucking grown man. You're in a nice marriage. You're not going to, as much as we do think your dad is cooler, it's better to not be cool when you're like 50 and married. You're a good guy. You want to be a good guy, you want to be a good dad, you want to be a good husband. Right, sorry. I assume he is. He's a little old.

At the last thing in the voice, he's like, I'm also beating my wife. With my figurine. So, so yeah, dude, I think you have to free yourself of your shame for your little hobby. It's fine. It's fine to, you know, it actually is, the reality is, and something I am struggling with is like, there is a moment in someone's life where it is not cool to get pussy as a man. Like when you're like 40, 5th, like how many fucking pathetic old comedians do we know?

Scary. Maybe some of them are, maybe those are some of the DMs you're talking about. But like when you're like a 50 year old guy with fucking like veneers and plugs being and trying to fuck a 22 year old, that's sad. Right. It actually being a dork who provides for his family and like doesn't do anything fucked up, that in your that's good that actually is what being a good guy is that's that is cooler in the grand sense and then listen yeah steff write that down it you shouldn't date drug addicts just because your dad was one doesn't mean you have to recreate the cycle cycles stop being forced into open relationships

at gunpoint by guys that probably weren't that good to begin with if we're being honest I don't know. I'm just guessing. No, they're not. Yeah. I don't know these guys. I'm just, I call it an educated hunch.

But so you just have to just stop, stop lying your wife and just be like, and just look at this as any other hobby and just look at this as any other budgeting thing. Be a dork. Yeah. Being a dork is cute and snackable and fun. Shame is a low frequency emotion.

Okay. I've heard of, so high frequency is good. High frequency is good. Vibration, high vibration. You want to be vibrating. You want to be vibrating high. And then you manifest, you're at the same vibration as manifesting vibration.

Interesting. Oh. It's a magical. So if you're not at the right vibration, you're, you're attracting more bad. Well, because you attract what you are. So if you're shameful, you're going to attract shameful situations. Embarrassment, shame, jealousy. Life is a mirror.

That's bad. Sure. You want to be happy and then good things happen. You are what you see. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. Interesting. Interesting.

I also love a person with figurines. My mom was also a figurine person. I love a little fucking weirdo. What kind of figurines? Like a, um, not Star Wars, but Star Trek. Star Trek, really?

Yeah. Your mom was a nerd. My mom's total nerd. Cool. I'm also a total nerd. I like fantasy. I like, I like someone who has a little thing and like it has to stay in the box

because it's, you don't want to get a stretch. Don't like the blonde extensions fool you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's fun. That's good. That's good. Tell people about that more.

I think it would make you more likable. Was me saying I have perfect mental health, not likable? Are we the most unlikable girls in college? I thought everyone liked us, but I'm having a real reality. You're here, dumbasses. I like you. But that's very endearing, actually, that you're into dorky shit. Yeah, I like fantasy.

I like creatures. I like magic. Yeah. So I think that's cool. That's in. I can larp. I can larp. What kind of glarp?

Do you go elf or? I could do sword. and I could do little knives. Little knives is cool. And then I could do nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just hand to hand. I could do sort of magic.

Yeah. Doing this shit? Yeah. This. Did you ever, did you have like a character that you do? No. Or an outfit? Did you ever larp?

No, but we went to the Renaissance Fair. We went to the Renaissance Fair. And it was the best day of our lives. Hands down. And I still have the ears and sometimes I wear them on Zoom meetings. Hell yeah. It was real. That was the best day of my life.

Yeah. I think people should be more immersed in. the magic realm. So you went elf ears? I'm an elf ears, sort of warrior elf. And you went warrior elf? And you did witch? I did, ouch.

Sorcerous? I went, that's exactly right. She did sort of a dark sorcerer. I'm not wrong. I did Faye, which is a dark fairy. Oh, cool. Do you have wings? That's actually, a Faye is not a dark fairy.

A fay is just a short end term for fairy. Awesome. So, don't, you know. That's not the truth. Let's put a pin in this. But I was dark fay. You were a dark fay, cool. That's cool.

It was so fun. Yeah, that sounds awesome. I've never felt more beautiful than I did in those elf years. There's a real freedom to being a dork. And I think you, being shameful of that is something you really need to dissolve. Because being a dork is hot, famously. Okay. And your wife already knew you were a dark.

Yeah, she got shocked. Your wife has looked through all your shit. Yeah, wait, is there a secret? Did he say there's a secret drawer? Like, where is he hiding all these figurines? No, he's just saying that she doesn't really give up. a fuck about this or she doesn't know when like a new fucking one appears she's not talking how much money he's putting towards that means that she doesn't fucking care so just tell

her you want a new a hundred and nine dollar yeah woman with big tits oh that sounds cool you know what I'm talking about and that's a figurine or what is that because if I could buy one of those for 109 you're talking about this dad he's dad oh nine 109 not a bad rate you want to marry a door you want to marry a door absolutely you want a medicate of sorts Somebody who's into their thing, they're not fucking like, you know, they're not. They don't have a wandering eye. Totally, totally. Because they're trying to get a new, they're, they're, their, their, their eye is focused

on the new Boba Fett's coming out. It's that. So, yeah, dude. This is actually not a big deal. It's cute that this is your biggest problem in your marriage. It's actually so cute. And all you have to do is start telling your wife like, hey, I want to buy, just run it by. I mean, you're not exactly.

It's more that you think you're lying. It's like, would she even give a fuck? I guess that's the other thing. What is your situation? Do you guys just say, oh, we put all our money together? Do you keep your own stuff? Like, does she have her own account for, for, like, shit that she wants? Are you guys, is she like a...

This is more of a problem. She's, like, one of those people that really strictly budgets, and it's very important to her. Or if they're, like, broke. Like, we don't know. No, but he said he wasn't living paycheck to paycheck and they do good. So I think it's actually... He also said being a married man now, it's kind of frowned upon, which makes me think he is getting a little energy from her that. It's like, all right, enough of these fucking...

Oh, he's too old. for it. But also, it could be that he made, again, some of this is soul searching. Are you overdoing it? Are you spending $10,000 a month? Is this every week? Yeah, we need more information. You know what I mean?

Or you're just like having one awesome one that you really like. You know what I'm saying? Or what you can do because you have kids is you could disguise your house. Do they have kids? I think that was the last call. I don't think they have kids. I didn't hear kids. I don't know how old these people are.

Oh, I was going to say you could disguise this addiction by buying things for the More lie. More lie. Sort of a lie and a lie. A Russian Essing bond. But I also get this in terms of like, I buy a lot of things from Amazon and I feel embarrassed

when my neighbors see all my packages. Well, consumerism is embarrassing, right? And like looking for happiness in things is embarrassing. But building a collection that you like, that you like, that you take some, you know, that these are things that have some sentimental value to you. It's, you know, that's, you know, within reason, within reason.

Being into stuff within reason. I think, there needs to be some middle ground here where probably you have to put a limit on yourself because doing it in the shadows means that you're going crazy, right? This is, he's kind of getting the thrill of an affair by buying and you, you know what I'm saying? By having secrets. It's a little bit of a, so it's like, just put it out in the open, talk to your wife and be like, hey, I fucking love doing this.

I don't do anything else. Like, can't, I just want, what's an acceptable amount? Let's actually work through our finances and see what's the amount I can't, that you would become full with me. me spending a month. Chachky budget. Yeah, give me a Chachky budget. She doesn't want to know day to day what it is. I want that on a T-shirt so bad.

Chachky budget? Yeah. That could be your new S-Corp, the good one. Chachky budget. Chachky budget productions. You can do, you can do two productions. Multiple chachiskees. Yeah, I think this isn't that big a deal, right? I think you're totally cute.

It's cute. It is an adorable problem to have. What else we got little L-Dunts? I really want to have. get story long. I'm in my first year of law school about two and my second. I haven't had a real boyfriend in a couple years and I

am finally seeing someone I may be a little excited about and I'm wondering what you guys think the appropriate length of time and kind of general progression is towards arriving in boyfriend town

when do you think like you should like somebody enough? to know that it's boyfriend time. And also, like, you know, hypothetically, if potential boyfriend and question was, like, 38 and not in his late 20s like me, how would that affect your thought process? Well, that's either really good news or really bad news.

He's either excited to have a girlfriend or he's got Peter Pan. Yeah. I will say, I think, both you and I know immediately upon meeting someone, if they're going to be our boyfriend. Yeah, it's sort of a third-eye situation where you close your eyes, open your third, and you could tell. You go, yeah.

And I don't know if that's healthy. When you say immediately, you mean first date or you mean like the second you lay eyes on them? You could sort of just scan a soul. Yeah. For me, it's not even like, it's not even like what I want.

It's what I know I'm destined for. Jesus Christ. It's more of like whispers from beyond the veil. Yeah. Yeah. No, just because you've fucking, just because you've wrapped up helplessness and fucking spirituality bullshit.

Take some fucking agency over your lives. Jesus Christ. I want better for both of you. I have agents to do the agency. Thank you. In your personal life, you have a, you have a relationship agent?

I think you know immediately if this man is going to be your boyfriend. And then slowly you collect data. And then once you have enough data to determine if the equation makes sense. Plus he's old. Right.

So, like, it should actually, he should be, like, trying to lock it down faster. If he's not locking it down fast. Well, as a 37-year-old man who, it depends what state of his life. Maybe he's really busy right now. Maybe he's tapithetically he's on... There's nothing worse.

Then when a man goes, I'm really busy right now. What are you doing gay shit? Why are you so fucking busy? Yeah, I mean, yeah. Sorry, work's been crazy right now. Sorry, I'm planning on getting married when I'm 40. I will say, I used to say I was too busy. And now I'm like, oh, this is being too busy.

I'm never in New York. I have like four different jobs. Now I actually am like, I can't. But when I was like, am I early 30s? But when a guy really likes a girl, he will, he will make time. That's a good point. If he really likes her. Fly them everywhere.

You really do believe in yourself a lot. No, I'm talking about you. Oh, me. Yeah. I would. Yeah, that's actually. Well, are you flying girls out? Currently, no.

I literally do. I mean, I also have a broken arm and a pinched disc. Well, you don't have to fly the plane. Excuse excuses. Yeah. And I'm working. Can I fucking heal from my injuries before I get a... I have a peptide for that.

Anyway. No, but it is where I do think we are both right where I, like, yes, that is if you really wanted to, I suppose you could. I mean, it's just a matter of your, also your psychology and all this other shit, whatever. But yeah, that's why I said in the beginning, it's either great because he's going to want to lock it or it's bad in that he has, maybe he's an air sign. You know, that could be a real problem.

I just have to talk to them in ways they understand. We both really took a moment there too. What's true? Air. Abusive. If you ask him and he starts talking about what sign he is, that's a pretty bad sign. Oh, yeah.

He's rants through. He knows what he was born. Saturday 6 a.m. Then, yeah. It's not going good. I think as someone who has rushed into so many things in this life, in terms of men, I think take you time. Take your time. Because actually this is the best part.

It only gets worse after this. Well, that's not true. Hopefully not. I mean, as of now for you. I just think when you're like falling for someone and you're like, what is it? The first month when you're kind of figuring it out is awesome. And you're being love bond. Enjoy.

I love getting loved bond. I love me. I love me. I don't understand why that's bad. You never understood it. Yep, yep. Feels good every fucking time. If you're watching this, we want to be love ball.

Please, please. Yeah, I think take your time, you're in Esquela, you're learning, you know, like. Well, but you, okay, so you've given this woman contradictory advice. You've said either you will know the moment you see him. And now it's take your fucking time. There's got to be, so let's give her some concrete advice of like, So I know what you mean, though, where you're like, this is somebody that you know on a first date

where this person has the prospect of becoming a boy, if they qualify for potential boyfriend. Well, I also want to know what she's really asking because if she's asking, it feels like she really likes him. And I'm curious of what she's actually asking is he hasn't stated that he wants a relationship yet. How long is it appropriate for me to wait for the guy to bring it up? Right.

Because this feels like a conundrum every woman is in all the time, which is you meet a guy. the woman kind of knows quicker than the guy's going to try to stay single as long as possible. How long do you wait for the guy to... Right, right, right. And that's like questions that have been asked by Aristotle and me today at brunch. Aristotelan. Aristotelina.

So I don't know. And also let me know if you figure it out. I'm going to put a time on it. Two months. Two months. And then what? She has the conversation? Then you have a conversation at two months.

He doesn't know by two months. Active dating after two months, you could be like, so what's going on here? And you're seeing each other once a week, or what are we talking about in two months? Is it like a real- You're living together by that point already? At this point, I'm like filing for divorce. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be dates a guy that moves in immediately.

That's awesome. I like that. When it works, it works. So never. Hey, I'm dating a guy who was once in jail. Did we ever find that? team. He said jail Cullen. Cullen, nice.

That's the right one. Why? Right answer. He asked why. Yeah. No reason. Oh, jail's not as bad as prison. She's not a bad. He's fine. I mean, prison's fine. Our our fucking system is a fucking nightmare. Our criminal

justices was a nightmare. I would date anyone in jail or prison. Well, I wouldn't go that far. Running on what you did. Yeah. But I do think we can offer two the two perspectives on this issue actually. And yeah, I think you're probably on the money where it's like, I would say even a little faster than that,

if we're being honest. Really? Really? As a man, you think that? You know? As a man who's like, because two months, basically it's like, I do think there is something fucked up about like, you know, again, this depends on the psychology of the guy.

Because some people see it as like, oh, I don't, until I have to be in a relationship, I'm not going to, right? Which is like, you know, it's a childish way of thinking. It's like an immature way of being like, ooh, let's see how long, how much, even though I like this girl, I can fuck a couple more girls and it's not cheating. You know what I mean? Like, I want to be able to do this on a technicality.

And I would say, the longer that goes on, the harder it is to then start a real relationship. In my experience, I think I- -dames gets done. I would say I have been given too long a leash many times and have by it and have fucked up the relationship as a result. Right. I'm just talking, I'm speaking directly about me right now

where it's like, I would like to actually be forced to think about. But would you accept a woman after a month being like, so what are we? Or would you be like, oh? Well, it depends, right? It's a month. How many times we've seen each other?

Two times a week, let's say. Two times a week. I mean, you're talking about eight hangouts. I just ate at someone for six months and was like, oh, this is how it's supposed to be. You're supposed to take a long time to figure out. I think we all just live in New York and are in showbiz.

business and we have warped minds. And that's what I'm coming around to because I'm trying to fix, I'm trying not to be a 38-year-old who behaves this way. Yeah, right. Against everything in my DNA. You know what I mean? So if you want a girlfriend and you're dating a girl, so you're already open to the idea of having a girlfriend.

Well, now you're bringing in something else. Now you're bringing up traffic light theory. Right. Taxi-cagat theory. Which is that when a man doesn't want to be in a relationship, the best girls can pass him by and he won't fold. but a man who goes into dating wanting to be in a relationship, pretty much the first girl he's down.

It's called the taxi. Whereas women operate opposite. Well, us, but it's not like we're ever looking to be in a relationship. We just meet a person and we're like, oh, I like them. I'll be in a relationship with them. Yeah. I do think that there's a little bit of that. Like, yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I do think that probably does make, like, if for me personally, it's like, I don't know. I just haven't been in a relationship because I've unfortunately, I have put my career above everything too much, and I'm trying to stop doing that. Right. But I would say, yeah, if I'm seeing somebody, it's like, I like, I like when somebody has that conversation

because then it's like, listen, then we can just be on the same page, right? And by the way, I do, I am very open now where I'm like, listen, I just don't. I tell if I'm seeing somebody, I'm like, there's just no way right now in my life, I will do this. And I totally understand if you don't want to, you know, see me a second time, or whatever the fuck it is, right? Like, or even say it on life, if I, I mean, I'm barely going,

if I ever go on dates, barely, but it's like, I'm just, I'll just say that. I'm like, this is clearly where I'm at. And I've worked on just communicating that instead of just being like, how long will she let me get away with this, right? Like, sneaky, sneaky. Because you don't want to set the relationship up

in the context of him feeling like he's getting away with something until you force him in a very traditional gender roles nagging way. What's happening? to lock it down. I'm just relaxing a lot. Yeah. I'm just having a meltdown.

There was sort of a physical reaction. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. But that's my perspective as somebody who has been a piece of shit in the past, right? Who's been like just who and who, and you know, I'm, I don't want to. I'm stopping that behavior.

But it was like a thing of like, first you just like see how long it'll go. And then I would get a, like, when I had the conversation, I'd be like, fuck, no, I don't want to do this. And then I realized, oh, wait, I actually really liked that. Like, I have to, I have some real hangups with intimacy and, like, what, I mean, the bad family stuff, I think does make, for me, and not bad. I mean, you know, my mom, my mom's an angel, my dad, you know, a flawed individual, but he did his best, whatever. But to me, what I learned growing up is, like, love is a burden. You know what I mean?

Like, my loved ones were the ones that, like, I was taught obligate. My dad would complain about having to come to America because of us. You know what I mean? And then my mom, who was great, I saw her being overworked by, like, she was the one who loved my dad, but she did everything to keep. So, like, and nobody I grew up with, none of their parents were in good relationships, right? Like, almost nobody. Not nobody. Literally the one of the one of the shining example I had, the, like, one of the greatest guys of all time got brain cancer.

And it was like, God was being, like literally all. What I told everyone I had. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the most fucked up shit. So to me, what. Jesus Christ. When I was in my 20s and maybe even, yeah. Yeah, through my 20s and maybe even early 30s,

that would trigger this thing to me of like, oh, fuck, now I have to be, now I have to be, but what, this is obligation, which of course is crazy. Exactly, which of course is insane. And if you fight through that, then you get the only, like, relationship I had that ever worked even long term, I had that feeling. I fought through it.

And we had, like, a good year and a half, but too much damage had been done during the leash era. You know what I mean? So. And then men and also self-sabotage, which is crazy. Which women don't really do as much as men. Totally. Like men will be like, this feels good, and I'm scared that it's going to actually work out,

so I'm going to, like, blow it up. 100%. Yeah. It's crazy. And I'm done. I don't do that. And so anyway, that, my perspective is a guy who is trying to cure these ills that have historically plagued me.

That's what I would say, is that it's okay to have this conversation. And by the way, it's okay to date. monogamously and not seriously, right? That's the other thing I was going to say. Just date someone and just like, don't date around. Exactly. But also have that conversation. Be like, hey, it's not, I don't want, like, I like, I'm not interested in dating

other people. Would you like to be exclusive, you know, and then go from there. But there's, I do think, and part of my hang up too was thinking that just saying somebody's my girlfriend means that we're married. It's like, no, you could date somebody for a month. You could have a girlfriend for a month and it's not a big deal. And breakup. You could break up.

You can break up. You can always break up. So I do think sooner rather than later is generally pretty good. I think anywhere between, depending on the, you know, potency of how much you're hanging out, it's also like one month where you see each other three times a week is a lot different than one month where you see each other three times total, right? And I think ultimately, like, just enjoy the pace. Just enjoy the pace.

But she does feel like she already has feelings for this guy. Or she's like, should I make him my boyfriend? True. Like she doesn't like him enough. Oh, it's been this amount of time like, should I be having this conversation? Or are you just sort of like? I think it's so annoying also that it always, the women always does it. Like the man, I've never once had a guy be like, so what are we?

Right. You have? Yeah. Who? Not me, not realizing that you're going to have to say some publicly. I can't say. Maybe a few people. Is it happen to you more?

Really? Yeah. See, see what happened? if you put a little light in those eyes. Oh, God. That happens, though. It does happen. It's okay. You should try dating a different type of guy.

Yeah, maybe you got to break a pattern. I need this. A guy with collectible figurines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need some fucking dork. That's what you really actually need. A nerd. 5-4 nerd.

A tiny little nerd. A tiny little nerd. He's hiding money from you. Yeah. Well, that means he has money. Here we go. That's already a step up for me. There we go.

So, yeah. Good luck. Seriously, bitch. Good luck. Good luck, baby girl. You got something fun for us to go out. And by the way, do you have any of you guys want to plug here? We don't know when this probably comes out.

You could follow us on Instagram. We're releasing a podcast. When is that? On Dear Media. Do you have a date? Um, no. In the next month. In the next month.

Okay, well, let us know actually we might be able to coordinate when it comes out. Oh, that would be nice. It's called, I'll go if you go. Yep. Oh, that's a good title. It's the two of us, Chad. Love it. And we will also be releasing a travel series that goes along with that.

That we shot in the UK. That's awesome. We shot like a, how many episodes is it? Eight. We shot at eight episodes travel series. But you get no information. Yeah. We're raging horrors.

We don't eat. We don't eat at all. Pretty cool. And we're alive. That's fun. Being alive is important. So check that out. Check those out. And then we're both on tour. Come see us on tour. And you can find us on social media.

Go see the gals on tour. All right. Great. Elvis. Play us a fun one to go out on a little buddy. Listen, Savi, eldest, beautiful guest. I'm sorry. I left another voicemail. Ignore that one. We're going to use this one as our main going forward. I just want to ask, is okay? Just you don't have to do that, guys. People do that a lot. And they're like, sorry. Just let us. the voicemail, the first one wasn't good.

We never do. We don't give a fuck. Yeah, we never knew that. Every voicemail is a new beginning. Eldis? No one knows. Yes. You think Eldis goes through all the fucking voicemails? We probably have such incredible calls that we don't get to because the only time Elders ever combs through the voicemails is 20 minutes before an episode. I go through them. Sometimes I'll see like.

He's like, all right. I do, too, do my job. Sometimes I'll see five in a row from the same number. I'm only listening to the last one. Yeah. So you should keep that in mind. Just housekeeping. don't fucking do this going forward because now we just lost

nine seconds with the explanation. And it also creates like a bad, like you're starting with just someone distrusting you. It's low frequency. Low frequency behavior. You're like, whoever's hearing this is automatically thinking, oh, this guy's stupid.

This is going to be a waste of time. This person can't express themselves. But if you're calling back to express yourself correctly, this is your chance for a new start. And no. No one has to know. No one has to know. Go ahead, Eldis. I just want to ask, is it okay to deny women coming to the boys' poker night?

Here is the situation. We've got a boys' poker night. It happens a couple times a year. For a few times, it was just the boys. It was never explicitly stated that wives and girlfriends were not allowed. But my buddy, he's got a wife. She really likes poker. She appeared at the last poker night when he was hosting. But for this upcoming home, we got a different group. You mean she was at her house? She was at her own home.

This upcoming one, we've got a different bro who was hosting the poker night. And I just need to know, can he deny? No. House rules. My buddy bringing his wife to the poker night if it was never explicitly stated. House rules. That it should be boys only. Basically, I was talking to this guy, and what we decided was that we cannot deny her to this one.

You're right. Because it would be unexpected. But for all poker nights moving forward, we would just... What are you going to make issue a memorandum? All poker nights going forward. Announcement. Announce. Here.

Attention. One woman we don't want to hang out with. Melissa, you can no longer come to the poker. It also feels, it's just one woman. It's just one girl. It's just one girl wants to come. Yeah. Dude, I get, I do understand the frustration in that like, look, sometimes you just want to be with a boy. You want to have a dumb ass evening with just the fellas, whatever.

Also, the inverse of that is like when a girl's night and a girl brings her boyfriend, you're like, what the fuck? When I've been dating someone, I accidentally end up. up in a hang that like it wasn't explicitly a girl but it's like it just so happened that I by poor planning ended up being the only guy there nobody's I'm not happy no I'm happy and if you

find yourself of that position here's what you do be charming for 20 minutes ask everybody how they're doing and then be like oh something came up got to go that's all and buy a round of drinks and get the fuck out of there right buy a drink you're out that's that's what you're going to do I get I get where you're coming from because yes

sometimes you just want a thing But this girl already came. By the way, she likes poker. She's not like a poser. Which means she knows that play. She's good. She's not like, she's not like, pick me. She's like she really likes poker.

Like this. So I say, I think what you want to do here is you have to rebrand. Poker has been, poker has been, unfortunately for you, the Supreme Court has ruled. And poker has now opened, has been open to women. We lost a lot of other stuff. There's no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. We lost Rovie Wade, but we can go to poker! Right, right, right.

That's actually true. Actually, I guess we overturned Roeby Wade. Maybe you can have men. Just the boys of poker night. But legally. I think for this social circle, the precedent has been set that poker night is called. So I would even say, open it up a little more, right? Bring a date.

From trans people. Yeah, yeah, I mean, yes. Gender, why open up gender. Make it fluid. I would say now poker night could be a little more. more of a part, you know, the, because you'll host poker games and it's like, it's couples usually, right? Or is it bros? It's usually bros, but, but no one's like, I think they have to make a second secret poker game for boys. Well, that's what I was going to say. What you have to do is, what you have to do is,

what you have to do is, yes, exactly. This has become an open game, right? Yeah. Now you need the executive game from the Sopranos, right? Now you need the, the, but what you do now, you have to rebrand because poker has been lost as the boys' activity. You say, it's only happens twice a month, you know, twice a year, they said. This is clearly not about poker. This is about the fellas hanging out. So now you need to rebrand and have like, fellas night or like a game or,

or put it around a sports thing. Think about things that women confirmed don't want to do. Right. Say you're going to have a fucking Stephen Seagull movie marathon. Yeah. Right? You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

But I would really, like, if we want to hang out, like, you know, we just, me, Eldison and me, Eldison and his lovely wife had a great Saturday in industry city. We were hanging out. Like, we have no problem.

Like, you know, all, me, all our friend group, like, we'll hang out in whatever configuration. But there's nights where if, if your wife came to my apartment where we're fucking watching

fucking Hong Kong action movies and getting high, it's like, she doesn't want to fucking be there. Yeah. So, like, there's nothing wrong with occasionally having some, you know, siloed activity. Siloed activity.

Yeah. But I do think poker night you have now cannot be that. So just say like, you know, we're going to go, it's just fellas night or whatever the full. However you want to say it. Applebee's. Yeah. Applebee's dollar. Apps.

Apps. App. App. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you could just make poker night sort of a sexy situation now. Casino night game.

Casino night. They're kind of hot. Yeah. The old glamorous ones. It's kind of like dinner for schmucks, but it's just hot. Hot girls. And also, everyone fucks this guy's wife. That's not what dinner for Schmux is like at all, by the way.

What do you mean by that? You mean like you're just a, instead of bring a weird guy, you have to bring a hot woman. You have a plus one. You just mean, yeah, having a date. Good, Danfer Smux's that movie about plus ones. Gabby's frame of reference for dinner for Smugs is just, a dinner for smug's situation is inviting someone somewhere. Inviting someone to an event. Do sort of a dinner for smokes.

Invite a friend. But with hot girls. I think poker day should be a gang bang. So you think you should run a train on his wife? I think everyone should run train on your wife. Oh, you know what? If you really want to freak her out and be like, you and your boys got to suck each other off in front of her.

You're like, this is what happens at poker night. Yeah, that's when we're being a little gay. Then she'll get out of there. I also do think you can have a reasonable conversation with this wife and be like, Melissa, I'm assuming her name is Melissa. I also was thinking Melissa, do we make that up? I recently said it. Okay.

That's what I was. I thought you said Alyssa. Melissa, we kind of want to have a boy's night. Yeah, I actually totally disagree with you. I think like if it's just one woman, you can kick her out. That to me seems more, if it was a few women, it feels like, one woman seems more harsh. But why is, like, already, it's like, girl, why are you at the boys poker night? Because she likes poker.

Sounds like a horrible time. Go start a girl's poker night. Yeah. What does she hate women? Yeah. Oh, good poor. Accus her of being. of having...

She's... Accused of having internalized misogyny. Yeah. Right. You're not being a girl's girl. You're not being a girl's girl. At the party? Yeah, you're trying to fuck your husband's friends.

I don't like that. And why are you wearing that? And why did you show up in that? Okay. I mean, let's two different... I guess I just think, like, I'm putting myself in a position where it's all my guy friends.

And one of their wives loves poker. And I like this person, right? Like, I wouldn't want to hurt my friends. because she's my friend too. Yeah. And she's shown that she really likes it. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings and be like, you can't come anymore because it's just, because like what we're trying to get out of it can be achieved in a non-poker

way. It can be achieved by just going out to a bar and getting drinks together. It can be achieved by watching a movie together and getting high. Like, you just want to have locker. You just want to feel like you're in the locker room again, right? And you don't need to play poker to do that. And if one of my friends, who happens to be a girl, really likes, you know, the activity we're doing. It's like, I wouldn't want to be fucking mean to her. That's,

that's how I see it anyway. So he's so much better of a person. It's so crazy. I'm really overwhelmed. I'm really overwhelmed. We're talking about my real friends, right? Like, because I only hang out, like, the people I actually see are like my closest friends and their significant others. So what if you guys had a boys poker night and me and Gabby wanted to come? That's a little different because it's like not like, uh, like, uh, fun anymore. No, no, no, no. First of all, you could come to, like, if we were having a poker game, you're 100% invited. I don't see poker. I don't see poker. poker is gendered, to be honest with you.

But if we were having like a, if me and my five best male friends were like, we're going to fucking get high, you know, get Korean barbecue and go to the movies. And you're like, we want to come. I'd be like, no. Like, we can hang out at a different time. It's not about poker night. It's about the sanctity of, these guys didn't make clear that this was about the fellas hanging out.

Right. They just said, we're having a poker night. She also should have kind of known, I think. Like, read the room a little bit. You know whose fault it is? It's the husband's fault. Her husband's fault. Her husband's fault.

He opened the floodgates. And listen, you can punish him. He needs to be sanctioned within your friend group for doing this, for ruining for ruining poker night with estrogen. It's actually so true in that she, he should have been like, it's the boys night. Yeah. Can you go have a girl's night with your friends? Right. And actually, if you think he's capable of personally talking to her and ironing this out,

it's his responsibility. He can do it. I don't think he can because he let her do it. He's cocked. He's cocked. He honestly, let's be honest, this guy's cocked, right? Or maybe he's just not a misogynist and he enjoys playing poker with his wife.

But you know, he also, he would like, he would love his wife. Yeah, he wants his love his wife. He'd be like, babe, they all said you get. Yeah. No. This guy's clearly a cuck. Who loves his wife and wants to spend more time with her.

Throughout their busy schedules. My best friend has a girl's book club, and they live in Raleigh and she said to the husband, stay up, great town, stay upstairs, do not come downstairs. No husband in his right mind would want to enter a woman's face like that. Not true. He wanted to be a part of it so bad. He sat on the steps and listened.

So this guy's cocked. He slowly just walked into the living room. Right. So it's like the other person wants to be involved if they're there, you know? Maybe, maybe not. Let me tell you something. Knowing those gossip about me. If I was dating somebody and there's a fucking book club going on

downstairs. I'm playing Xbox upstairs. Like, I'm not coming down. It just depends on your personality. Yeah, maybe loves God. Actually, I love God. Actually, that is my. I know. I do love you. You know what? I imagine all the girls are gossiping downstairs. I'm actually lying. I actually love when it's just me and girls actually. That's one of my favorite types of hangouts. But anyway. Hang out with us. Yeah, what are we doing? Gossiping. Gossiping. Doing peptides. Poker peptides. Poker and peptides. A little something for everybody. Wait, I should throw that. No. Let me be clear I'm not taking any of your fucking Little League peptides.

All right. To each his own. I'm going to a doctor. I have a doctor's number. Yeah. So yeah, I guess that's how I see the whole thing. And, okay, let's say you really like her. You don't want to hurt her feelings.

Let's say you don't like her. Telling her to her face now creates animosity within the group. Yeah. And you escalate. So I just think to be safe, rechannel the bros only energy into something that it is established from the very beginning is for the bros only. That's how I would handle it personally. I think it should be golf. I know some women like to play golf.

I fucking hate golf, though. But I know you mean, yes. There's other ways to do it. Golf. But they probably like the lake. It's like smoky and it's dark. It's poker. You can lie to your wives about what you're doing.

You could be like, oh, we're watching the football game and then have a fucking poker game. You need a secondary poker night. They basically need to make a fake poker night. Trubin show this woman pretend that it's a poker night. A bunch of extras that look like, a bunch of guys that kind of look like them

are playing with her. Gas like the fuck out of this woman. The screen falls. They're playing poker with right behind it. It's like, that's really funny. She's playing poker with like holograms of them. At one point she's like, Oh, fuck.

Yeah. You're right. I do that. I get it, but that's personally how I would handle it if I were in this situation. You know what I'm saying? What do you think, eldest? You're a man who both married and has poker night, so you're... I would like the...

I think it'd be fun if, like, someone's wife or girlfriend was like, oh, I'm going to come to poker night if she was into it. Totally. Is she, like, actually like poker? and, you know, she wasn't being a dumb bitch asking what every hand means. Right, right, right, right, right, right. I did not expect that.

You know, it's, it is, it is just a fun new energy. Totally. When it's just guys, it's like, you know, it gets a little autistic in there. Everyone's getting real quiet. Right. They're like Doyle Brunson or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

You need a female energy. Yeah. She better be showing up in a bikini, totally, or her tits out. Her tits seem to be out. We haven't figured that out. Something low cut. Jennifer Tilly playing poker

with her tits out, man. That was awesome. Yeah, I agree with you. I don't think of like poker as gendered. Me neither. So this is hard to see. But I think at the same time It's also very possible that she's better at poker than them. And they're pissed. I was thinking that as well. Because if she's really into it

and they were just using it as an excuse to not hang out with their wives, it's possible that she's the one who's taking it too seriously. Like she could be a better player than that. Or, you know, we're just. Maybe. Who knows? We're musing. There's just different ways. I'm sorry. to cut you off, go ahead.

Yeah, same time, I don't know. I don't think there's anything wrong with being like, eh, just the guys tonight. Sure. That guy does, yeah, I mean, that's reasonable. Talk to his wife. Yeah.

Yeah, you could also be like, hey, yeah, yeah, but it's up to the guy and I don't have faith in him to pull it off. I know what you mean. You know what I'm saying? I don't either. Because we have friends who like will definitely fuck up a hang by not, like,

and it's actually both different genders, too. Like, we, like, we've definitely had, people was like, come. And it's not just significant others. Sometimes it's just like they bring a weird friend or like, we have people in our lives who just will fuck the vibes up. Yeah. You know what I'm? So. It is a little bit on the wife. I've, I've been the guy who like

fucks up the hang by like bringing his girlfriend before. But like my wife just, you know, she reads it right. I never, I never have to like be like, no. Yeah, you should be dating someone who reads the social situation. Yeah. But also this girl seems like she fucking loves poker. I know. She really wants to play. It's kind of like sad.

Like, you know, I, anyway, whatever. This is just, to me, I just think they're just, they, maybe we're reading it wrong. It doesn't seem like these guys are fucking poker fanatics. They just didn't want to hang out with their fucking wives. So, but either way, we get, we talked enough, fucking figure it out. The wives need to come up with their own. Yeah. Texas hold them.

And then they can do like a, like a, is Texas hold them in poker the same thing? It's a type of poker. Yeah. All right. Blackjack guy. I don't know if poker was a genre. It's, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, there's like so many different types of poker. Texts Holden was the one that got like the biggest.

Like when we, when I was, probably, how old were like, 13, 14? Tex Holden would like explode. Yeah. I mean, I remember coming down at Greek Town. Yeah, we used to have poker games. Some of our buddies in like fourth grade. Not fourth grade. Middle school? Middle school. We started, yeah, we started gambling in middle school.

I literally had a friend who had a bookie when I was like, when I was like, and he's now, you got to dig the gambling and disappeared. Oh, yeah. And like he resurfaced in Asia gambling. Oh, hey, this guy's awesome He actually is awesome He was the man He was a fucking cool dude

He reserviced for you Actually he would be exactly your type A real piece of shit Please don't date a bookie Hey, not a boogie A gambling addict Yeah Anyway

That's it That's our advice That was a good one There was a lot of meat on that bono There's not really the You know the fun Go out When I thought we were

this episode was going to be over 20 minutes ago. But we ended up... We ended up really dissecting that one. I like, yeah, I think we ruled justly in this case. That's going to do it for us. Gals, thank you so much. This was so fun. Thank you for having us.

Watch, listen to the Eapod, go see the girls live. Come see us live. I assume we're probably... Maybe we're about to finish a tour. Who fucking knows? Maybe the special is about... We're about to tape the specials. special probably.

There's like five episodes that have already come out where you're like, we just finished this special. I know, dude. I know on the fucking Djibuki episode where I'm like,

and there was one episode where I was talking about, man, I wish I had a couple, a little more time to work on the special. And I really cursed myself, man.

Because I got it. I really fucking, I really got what I asked for. But anyway, it's going to do it for us. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.