Stavvy's World - #191 - Jake Johnson

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

Jake Johnson returns to the pod to discuss to discuss his new movie The Dink (Apple TV+), cabbies sharing their brutally honest opinions of The New Girl with him, telling AI about his hopes and dreams, why it’d be awesome if Stav showed up to a movie set skinny and with a rich head of hair, and much more. Jake and Stav help callers including a guy who really doesn’t want to put up his girlfriend’s messy friend and her baby, and a trans woman who is sleeping with two rival brothers who are at each other’s throats.   Watch Jake Johnson’s new movie The Dink out now on Apple TV+:  https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/the-dink/   Follow Jake Johnson on social media:   https://www.instagram.com/mrjakejohnson   Check out We’re Here to Help, hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds:   https://www.heretohelppod.com/ http://www.patreon.com/heretohelppod https://www.youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPod https://www.instagram.com/heretohelppod   🙏 Thanks to our sponsors! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW!   Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!!   ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hopa! Welcome everybody to Stavvy's World 9-04-800-stab. Call the Stavis World Hotline presented by Visible. We'll solve all your problems. We have returning to the couch, our pal, Jake Johnson. You might know him as the dink, actually. No, we're talking about. You might know him as the dink. This is a fucking pro.

It has not even yet come out, but just something is in the air where you're like, it's dink season. It's fucking dink season. I think everybody, everywhere I go, Jake, people are like, happy dink season to you. Same. The dink on Apple TV. My man's all over Apple TV, dude. Yeah. Fucking maximum pleasure guaranteed.

And the dink. And the dink. How about those two titles? How about what I'm selling? Yeah, yeah. Maximum pleasure guarantee with the dink. It sounds like where the maximum pleasure is coming out. Right at the fucking dink.

Now, I will say I went to start maximum pleasure guaranteed, but then I saw slow horses and that looked pretty fun. So I watched that instead. What is slow horses? It's a spy show. Slow horses. It's a spy show with Gary Holden. Oh, have you seen tiptoes, right?

The trailer of the duck. Of course, dude. So it was kind of a tiptoe's homage. He is kind of, his face is the tipto's face. I will, well, once I saw that. So slow horse. You can check out the dink or maximum pleasure guaranteed, but also check out slow horses with Gary Oldman. By the way, 97 on Rotten Tomatoes ain't bad.

First season is pretty fun. We, uh, the beginning of maximum pleasure guaranteed. So my role in that is I'm just in a custody battle. Okay. Never got to do it. David Gordon Green was doing the pilot. I never get to just do like a little drama where I go in. Oh, how about you?

fucking your little drama with Emma Stone. Yeah, that's true. That's what, nice, right. I meant to say that earlier. You're dealing with a real actor now. That's fucking, I was happy for you, dude. I was a mere podcast. I was like, who was this guy?

Now I'm like, hey, yeah, yeah, let me drop my head shot off. And I appreciate that. And that's the thing you learn about Hollywood is, it's just pure, what have you recently accomplished and you'll be respected more? And then you do one, six months. That's a way, by the way, way less.

True, true, true. You got, it's a three-month window. Yeah, you got to be out. And everybody's like, dude, and all of a sudden people are like, what's up, brother? And then the funny thing is you'll see the same people. What's up, brother and someone else? Of course, of course.

I really learned that during New Girl. We had the first season, it did really good numbers. Yeah. And all of a sudden, I would be at events and I'd be like, man, I'm getting a lot of what's up brothers, some kind of cool guys. Yeah. And then on season two, everybody hated the show. It became, you know, uncool to like the cool what's up brothers.

Already season two? Or maybe season. It happened fast. Interesting. Because I was in the, I just remembered as a good show the whole time. You, but you're younger.

But I was young. Yeah. So while it was on, there was a moment where people are like, is this cool? Right. Like, you know,

cool the way that like, Parks and Rec was cool. Right, right, right. And then they were like, about someone with Hillary Clinton's politics. Like, Parks and Rec now is about the people that are like giving.

Like, Leslie Nope would accept so much money from APEC. You know what I mean? Like, if we go back now, they're all, like, her hero was,

Joe Biden. You want to talk about something that does not hold up. It's about a libertarian and a centrist politician. Like those are the two main people. It's like the worst people in the world. Ron Swanson is a funny in theory. But you meet a guy like that in person. Like that's the scariest guy you're fucking in your life.

And Leslie Nellip for sure is doing, she is doing atrocities. You know what I mean? Like she's in the State Department. She's a junior official estate department covering up like a drone bomb. that the Obama administration that the Joe Biden administration did. And I didn't watch a lot of parks and Iraq

but I think they're in a small town like India. They are. I'll tell you, the rant is funny. The reality, I think they're doing parks. No,

but here's the thing, okay, I know you're saying, you're talking, the reason I can skewer it is because I love the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I,

it ends with them getting into D.C. Oh, it does. It ends with them sort of like, you know the show. I don't know the show. I don't know the show. I don't know the show. Like her.

Oh, they go to. They go to DC, her and fucking. Amy Polar's character is like a real. Oh, so the end, that show is the arc of her entering the big game. It's a story about the minor leagues. It's literally like, yeah, coming up from the minor leagues. That's cool.

And also like, but just to lose your innocence. It's like, what is like a nice story of like, oh yeah, you know, local government is nice. And they're showing that it goes from that to this. And then it's like, yes. And then eventually if you do good enough for your small town, you get to sell out for for fucking Raytheon. I sold a show to Fox years ago. I used to have a production company.

And we sold a show based off of Catalina Island. Mm-hmm. You ever been? I've not been, obviously, Stepbrothers is my greatest into Catalina Island. The Catalina Wine Mixed for me. I got cut out of that movie. Oof, that's tough.

Yeah, for one of my first gigs I ever had, I got called in. Do you want to play Rob Riggle in Rob Riggle's flashback? Do you want to play his steroid dealer? and I go, yeah. So I went, I was like to the ocean and I live on the east side, so I was there at 5 a.m. I sat in my trailer for 12 hours.

Then they finally called me in. It's fucking Adam McKay. It's Riggle who I didn't know yet who, you got to have Riggle on this show. He is as fun and funny. You will love his ass. I love that guy. He's so fucking funny.

But we get there and the whole bit is it's his character. They all his characters, at the end of the movie, I have a flashback, and his was the first time someone sold him stare at it finished. And I was like, well, and then I didn't hear anything. And I was with my friend Charlene Yee and Nick Jasanovic. And we were driving on, we had some meeting. And I was like, it was one of those humiliated Hollywood moments where I go like,

meeting ended and everyone kind of got quiet. And I'm like, well, are we doing dinner or drinks? Yeah, yeah. And they were like, I think we should call it. And I was like, well, it's five. And then they were like, well, we're going to a thing tonight. And I go what? And they go, the stepbrothers.

premiere and I go, it's tonight I'm in it. Oh, no. You didn't know. They never told me. They didn't tell. And you weren't even invited. I was like, it's, how could it be tonight? I'm in the movie.

And then I call my agents and they go, if you don't make it in, a lot of times they don't tell you. Oh, wow. And I was like, no, of course. Yeah. I'm happy. I'm happy. Are you kidding me?

I get, I get the game. Well, at least that movie has an age to be maybe the definitive comedy movie of its generation. Yeah. By the way. That is perfect for my career right next to it. But going back to parks. So that's what New Girl was. Yes.

New Girl started and people said, could this be one of those? And I was getting a lot of hey guys. And then universally the town decided it's not. Gotcha. Gotcha. What was the best? I guess I do remember like a De Chanel Tweed backlash happening.

There was too much like, you know. This was that era for me. It was being in New York, every time I got in a cab, it would be this. They're looking at me and they go, you're that guy, huh? And I would go, maybe. Because there's a few of us. And they would go, no, I know you. You're on that show with the girl in the apartment.

I'll go, yeah, and they'll go, I don't like it. And I would go, I hear it. And they would go, you are all right. Yeah. But that shit ain't for me. And then I would go, I would go, I hear you, man. And then here's what I learned, which drove me up a wall. And I had to hold my tongue because I used to be way lippier.

And that was the age where I was like, I can't be fighting with people in cabs. I'm on television. Of course, of course. It's getting disgusted. Of course, of course. And they would go, they would go, I don't like it. And I'd go, I hear you, man. And I'd be like, no kids of the fuck.

And then they would go, season two, episode four. There's a shit. And I'd be like, you little fucking asshole. You've watched every episode. Yeah, yeah. You like it. They're kind, oh, who knew, maybe you guys had before you had the fan from that, you had the fandom from the fucking,

that the medical show what's the fuck the scrubs no no no the new one that everybody the pit how the pits fans seem to hate the pit oh is that true even though it's like the you know it's like the most acclaimed show all you see online is like they fuck this up they fucked that up that's so we

had be it was women were always on they were always like we like it yeah yeah I like the show and then someone would like I don't but the women who liked it to this day will be like I like that show yeah not a bad guy that way were you married at the time yeah I bet with me That's tough.

Because that would have been the best. That's the best guy to be. The guy that clearly is not, like you will end up with a group. It's almost like you kind of know the entire time on some level that you guys are going to end up together. There's a formula to them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, of course. You're wrong. You're like, yeah. Unless I come in and that almost happens season three and I've gained too much weight over the summer. Because that's awesome. Because over the summer, they can't regulate you. And I did come back. You did fat Mac, but without telling anybody.

I did fat Mac, but the funny thing about it, and there are photos where maybe it's season one to season two, it ends and they try to do a continuation, but Nick Miller ain't in the same shirt. And it was unnoticeably. That's awesome. You know, 15 pounds changes the face. 100%. And 15 pounds is a few more beers.

Of course. 15 pounds happens fast. Fast. I'm not even kidding. I weighed. I've been trying to like, I've been bouncing between like 270 and 280. I followed some of the weight loss journeys.

Sure. I texted. I think I reach it. I love it. Thanks, man. And we're going to get back now, folks. Stavi gets ripped. We'll resume.

Just let me film this special without fucking dying once. But I literally at the beginning of this week was 270. And I had, I ordered Sichuan food. I get that. I weighed 280 today. I'm not even kidding at all. By the way, I can read one meal. I relate to this in a way and I want to blame it on some fucked up metabolism.

Yeah. Or I must eat in the left. Like I'll literally go, you know what? I got a fucking trim up. I'm going back. I'm doing some stuff in a movie or in a TV show. And August I'm like, I got to I got to lose about 10. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll have one night. Yeah. I'm not even going buffet style. I think I'm being, I'm like, I had a couple of drinks. I will look at I'll be on the podcast with Gareth And all of a sudden

There'll be a shot And I'll be like Tell me When I'm not on TV With being like Afraid of losing my job Yeah You will post something

I'll literally go Who's that fat guy near Gareth And I'll go I honestly I wasn't binging Yeah yeah yeah No it's fast It happens so fucking fast And it's the so

I mean dude It was also It's like To peel back the curtain For everybody This is the week we filmed the special. If there's a week I should be...

Saturday and Sunday, right, of this week. If there's a week I should be watching what I'm eating. Tight. It just is not in the cars. You got... I just psychologically know where I'm at right now. This is not the week.

So I'm going to be fatter than I. If I just kept it together, I could look pretty... I don't get a, like, get a fucking lymphatic drainage massage. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, sit in a sauna or some shit. Like, and I should.

Why am I not doing that? I know. I'm not going to. There's no way I'm, I know right now. It's Monday for everybody. I still have, I still have six days.

It ain't happening. It just, it is not in the cards. It is not in the cards at all. And because I, I've stopped drinking so much, but I've been, because I broke my arm and I fucked my backup,

to avoid opioids, I've been getting so fucking high. It's crazy. Fun. Like, I'm talking, too high. I'm talking 150 milligrams.

Oh my God. Like, I did 100 yesterday and it was like, and I was like, scared me. Kind of yeah I was kind of high with a hundred milgram That's scary

And so I'm like But here's the thing On tour I had So I'm like Oh I see where I'm at Today I'll take 120 Tomorrow 140 I'll come back down to 8

Like I have a whole fucked up system And it does help you sleep And it does help with pain But boy am I hitting the snacking hard Hard as fuck And we're talking weird shit I ordered I door dash fucking bread and butter Because it was like 1 a.m.

And I was like I want bread and butter I just want a nice French loaf You got a trainer you're like No I do not That's a hilarious question I got a guy who here

He can do Zoom's with you Interesting interesting Rudy Garcia All right He's not crazy He's a good price He's a good guy He'll work with it

He's the only guy I've ever stuck with Okay interesting Yeah no I will And look I don't want to fucking talk too much But there There will be a metamorphosis Haskell Are you ever going to do

the testosterone you're going to do all the stuff I'm gonna go fucking peptides oh dude I can't wait to put all kinds of fucked up gelps whatever it's called I already got the gopies going you're doing them I'm doing them tell me about them it is it so right

this is where we're there's a foot I wanted to have this to tell you about this because we're talking about how it's easy to binge it's like it is just it's not even just genetic it's so in your head because right now when I'm so stressed I am beating through it, dude. This fucking medicine stands no chance.

So your body's going, I'm legit, not hungry, brother. Stop. And I'm like, I think we need those dumplings as well. So what would happen to me is exactly that. I would take the fucking shot and then I would do that thing. By the way, the funniest thing about this ozumpic era is all these liars. Of course.

It is so joyful. You can't be chubby your whole life. And then, and guess what? what there you go back to middle school you go back to junior high you just see some roundies of course you see it in the face or you'll see like during like baseball season who i was like this yeah and then i was in during summer you're like so that's what it's going to be if all of a sudden i get skeleton skinny yeah and you go what's going on and i go hiking hiking i'm actually fucking much are you hiking i've actually been having seamoss in like coffee that's the difference it's

How much Seymoss, motherfucker? Well, dude, here's how you know they're such frauds. Because look, occasionally a fat person does lose weight, but they make it their entire person out. For years. Haven't you ever seen biggest loser? It's like, listen, if you actually lost all that weight, we're seeing gym selfies every fucking day.

And also. Every day. Not just one occasionally to cover your tracks. But this is the mean way of putting it. When a fat person loses weight, they don't look great. They look weird. They do, yeah. It looks like a, they look melty.

Well, if you've, if you've particularly in your head associated this person with a certain fullness. Yes. And then, yes, it can be a real problem when you get the fucking turkey pussy neck. But all of a sudden, these Ozambic people, I think it's because they're dying and their body's eating itself, they skip that stage. Yeah. So they just look modelish, but they don't have the face for it. The face is tough. You just go like, you're really skinny and weird now.

Now, again, I don't care if you take testosterone. I also, what's different about 2020 changed it. If I'm at work with some of, let's say you and me are doing a scene together and you smell like a brewery, couldn't care less. Right. If you don't remember your lines, you smell like a brewery, I'm going to go, he's drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you come in and do the job, gives a shit. 100%.

If you want to be on testosterone, you want to be on, fuck, you want to blow lines. The job is, we're not saving babies. Haiti. It's actually one of the only thing you have to do is say the lines. Do the job. And then emotionally, if they go, hey, in this scene, actually, we need a little heart and you're so bombed out of your brain that you can't feel anything. You're bad at your job. Right, right, right. I don't care how crazy you are. I don't care when you have those actors where they're like, they had a nervous breakdown. They were shirtless in the middle of the street. But how were they at 5 p.m. at call time? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What did you get that day? And they go, so you're right. They had a 30-hour bender. But then they showed up and did a,

father and son soon. And you know what I honestly think? Good actor. Absolutely. This is not a profession where I go, you're supposed to be watched 24 hours, but just admit it. Yeah.

You know who with that in mind, who I personally am liking their arc? Please. Who feels the counter to the Ozempic era? Let me hear it. Shia. Mm. Shia.

I don't know that I would be buying Shia's stock right now. What did he do recently? I just think he's kind of, I don't think he's got the kind of, Well, I agree. Let's just let's just like, like drunk as fuck, terrorizing the homeless and churches in New Orleans or something recently. So, yeah, look, going back to Parks and Roke, I am no politician. I am not.

Let's see some shy updates. It was the New Orleans that got me. I watched all his interviews, all that stuff in New Orleans. It's the, it's, you know what it is, man. It's being a, if you're a Catholic conference. sums up. I agree with that. If you're born into it,

because people who are born into Catholicism are sort of like, because I'm Greek Orthodox, right? We're not Orthodox. Right. If you meet a different Orthodox sect of religion, they're crazy. Catholics are kind of the same thing

when if you're born into it, it's like, hey, fish on Friday. Let's fucking give to the homeless. And if you're like, if you're converted, you're like, well, the, you know, everybody knows the schism of 1130. Right. Like they're talking about Pope Barnabas or something.

Like they're talking about, about theological shit where they're like, well, and of course, Armenians can't get into heaven. Like, they're just saying crazy shit like that. So anyone who like, as an adult goes into an extreme religion is all, something's always fucked. Yes, you're not wrong. Something's always going on. What do we got, Eldis? What are you, did you, did you bother summarizing or do you expect us to read it? He's pleaded guilty to battery in New Orleans, uh, you know, little scuffle incident, he became combative with staff and patrons, struck multiple people.

One guy he hit hard enough to possibly dislocate his nose. He also allegedly shouted homophobic slurs. Take away allegedly on that. Allegedly. Oh man, if someone, if there's a type of guy keeping dropping homophobic F bombs alive, it's shy a lot of man. You know he lets him find us. So going back to what I was saying that I do like about what shy is doing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All this aside. There's a lot of buzzwords that you don't like, right? But here's what I like. Yeah, we can throw out a lot of buzzwords like assault. Homophobic slurs. And everything you're saying is. I agree with.

I'm with you. We're talking about the acting profession. Right. So all he needs to, there's no way I would go like this. You know what I think of Shai should do? Be around children. be a role model. You know what I don't think he should do? Be a leader of men and women. Right, right, right. You know what I am interested after this?

Yeah. An indie movie where he plays a guy down in New Orleans. Right. And it's a character who's going through a hard time. And he goes, well, a lot of the dialogue was improvised. I want to hear those monologues. Interesting. And I want that dark circle on his eyes where I wanted then here after the director go, I mean, it's some Marlon Brando stuff. Yeah. Marlon Brando showed up to apocalypse now. He didn't tell anybody who's going to be fat and bald. That's awesome. That's a craig. Could you imagine? You're doing movies.

Could you imagine they go? Oh yeah, they'd be real mad if I showed up fat and bald to a movie. They'd be so pissed by I wasn't fat and bald. If you show up skinny and hairy, could you imagine, by the way, that's what you should do.

You're big, if you, your first big, like, if you book something like, they're banking you in it. Of course. Don't tell anybody.

Don't film until after. Take so much of Zempick and go to Turkey and get a hair, and cut it short in the best. Awesome. So when they show up, they're like, where's stopping? Yeah, yeah.

I'm not, right here. The reverse, the reverse gosling and lovely bones, you know, show up just jacked as hell. And they're like, well, you obviously can't be the fat idiot friend in this romantic comedy anymore. You're getting a fat idiot friend. I think a spin on that. I think a nice, a new updated spin on that. I had a, my version of it was my first job I got was no strengths attached that Ivan Wrightman was directing. And I played the friend and I was really nervous.

And I go to the same Vietnamese restaurant and at Waterville. I used to go every day. And the bus boy there, George and the chef, we got to know each other. And he came by and I was like studying the material. And he was like, you're working hard every day. I was like, fuck, man. Yeah. I've never been more nervous in my life.

And he goes, tell me about it. And I told him about the movie. And he goes, so basically you're like, you should be with the girl. Don't be with the girl. And he goes, you should be with the girl. And then he goes like this. I like porn. And I went, no.

And I sat there and I was like, yes. I am fundamentally less nervous. That's awesome, dude. Shut out to George. I was like, that's, you really just summed it. I was like, those are the parts I'm getting. Yeah. I'm just near the other guys going like this.

Of course. You should do it, brother. And then they go, anything else? And they go, it wasn't that. And I literally had nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all I got, man. That's so funny.

Yeah, dude, it is really fucking funny. What was the first, like, did you have as a child? Did you have a theatrical performance? Do you remember hitting the stage for the first time? do. What was it? So I was in high school. So I think I told you this last time, but when I was, I was 50. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I never told you this. But I dropped out of high school when I was 15. And so when I came back, yes, we know about your awesome white trash Chicago background. Suburban, yes, yes, yes. If it was Chicago, it would be less shocking. I went to two nights of a public school to do this. This was not a public school you drop out of. Of course. It wasn't like 25% of us did. It was like 99% go to. college and I'm like, do you know Jake dropped out? Like they know you by name. It was do you know,

and like it was so weird that when I'd see people at parties, I'd be like, it's not what you think. Yeah, yeah. I was like, you better spin fast, motherfucker. But I got, so you were still going to the parties.

You dropped out and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would literally, I would drop, I was like, my dropping out was just not going. Yeah. So after school, I'd be like, what y'all doing? What's up?

They're like, hanging out with the people who go to school. It's like, why didn't you just go to school? Go to school. And I would literally be like, yeah, fuck that. And I'd be like, what was everybody wearing? Because you're like, pre-internet, your life is so small. I'd be like, what do you guys have to? Friday they're like, I would do on this party at the school.

I was like, fuck that shit. Yeah. Call me literally right after. And then, you know, they don't. Of course. But I came back and I was like, oh, fuck, everybody who I know is going to graduate. And then I'm still around. And I was also getting bad grades again.

And I was like, I might be here forever. Yeah. I was like, so you're like, well, let's just fucking, let's make it look like it was my choice. Well, there was, there was a sketch show at the school. Okay. That the students wrote and my buddy Bill said he was directing it. He was like, I could get you in. And he goes, my uncle Timmy was an alcoholic. And every year on my birthday, he called and told me the same joke.

And he goes, just do the Timmy joke and your voice. I did it. I got in the play. And then when I got on stage, I got really big laughs. And I was like, oh, this is why I had been such a bad. student. Right, right, right. Now they like me for it.

And I was like, if this is a job, yeah, hell yeah. I will kill somebody for this kid. Well, especially, yeah, when you're 15 and thinking about dropping out. I've just been like, what are you doing like? Yeah. You know, it's a funny thing that I realize I need to put it spin on for listeners. A lot of actors say, you know, I had no backup plan. And it feels like a heroic story.

Mm-hmm. It's not. It's really not. I'm starting to do something with my friends at this point of our life that's really mean. And that is finding people of my age who had no backup plan but didn't make it. Yeah, dude. And you'll go like, I fucking moved out to New York City at night. I was doing stand-up of 15.

Yeah. And they're like, I was just fucking hitting stages. Brother, I had no backup. What are you doing now? Well, I'm trying to do an Etsy shop. And you're like, I'm really in the, you know what you should have had with the back. boards. You should have had a backup plan. Because you got to be on planet Earth for about 80 years, motherfucker.

I know. That's tough. I mean, but it's the same thing. You start, I just started doing open mics when I was 19. You did, yeah. And I was just like, well, I mean, we'll see what happens. And then this is what happened. Totalized. And then it just doesn't stop. Yeah. But you never really have a great plan. No plan. In fact, I was kind of, if I'm being fully honest, I kind of assumed I'd fail

and back to Baltimore. Same. But I thought I'd have, I gave myself, I think I was like, five, years in New York and then reassess. And I just kind of thought I would fail because everybody fails. And but I would get those experiences and it would make being back in Chicago better. Exactly. Then you could be that piece of shit in the small town that like just because he had a New York

license felt better. Like I thought Elders was destined. By the way, if I don't get famous, that's who Eldis is. Elders is back in Baltimore talking about his housese on days and fucking bedstoy. I'm retreating deeper in the heartland. I'm not even returning to the. You're going to Ohio for sure. You're going to Ohio with your wife and becoming a fucking English teacher

and talking about how you used to live in Bushwick. And the kids are like, Bushwick? Really? Really? Yes. I'll become a podcast and AI teacher. Mr. Sula's AI. We're here Mr. Sula teaches you the best prompts.

It's not even education at all. It's like how to use Claude. The eldest Sula method for podcast producers. Well, you see, I figured if I asked enough AIs, one of them would come up with a solution. And it's actually, I really don't want to check his history because that's probably how he's doing everything. What's your make on AI these days? Oh, hard anti.

You are. Tell me why. You got to be a fucking idiot. Because it's like, first of all, I've never seen anything good, right? Most of it is like a fun novelty. Yes. It maxes out at fun novelty, right? Yeah.

And if that's all it was, all right? That's like getting mad at Snapchat filters, right? Totally right. Who cares, whatever. But the fact that this is also clearly connected to, first of all, it's the newest thing, the ultra-rich that have no idea how to maintain their grasp on our society.

It's their newest attempt at that. That's interesting. The metaverse was, they tried that. They tried to actually make us live in it. Well, I'll tell you what was before that, Segways. Yes, exactly. No, no, that's.

It's going to change travel. as we'll be no roads there will be there will be only segue paths your Amazon drivers will be coming in on segways but but so that's that's number one but also there's something very sinister happening with I think they don't want

us to even know what reality is anymore I think they want I think the powers that be want us in this bubble so that you just is Mitch McConnell live? Yeah well then here's what here's why I'm a perfect mark for them yeah I've never known what reality was. Right, right, right. Yes, absolutely.

My beauty. No, I mean, of course you think it's awesome. You're dumb as shit. Here's my beauty. You dropped out at 50. Improft sketch comedy is the only reason you have a high school diploma. Of course you're dumb as to is useful.

Here's what I like about it. I don't use it for anything serious. I don't use it for anything. Like the idea of create, I like to go I'll wake up from a weird dream. Yeah. And I'll go, I'll hit the little button. I'm going to just ramble at your robot ass for, in a way, I can't to anybody else I'm planning on Earth. Right, right, right.

See, that's a really big problem. And I'll go, I go, I just had a dream. I was being chased by a turkey man. And I'm going to go, you have to stop doing that. I'll go, the turkey was after my ass. And I go, the craziest thing happened. And now, because I'm not taking pauses, I'm like, now we're in it. And I'll go, but that turkey was my father, brother.

And I'll go, break it down for me. What does it mean? Oh, no, dude. And you're someone who's very successful with a family. I mean, other people are so fucked. Because then I'll go, pretty fun breakdown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when you go a novelty, that's how I see it.

I go, pretty fun. Yeah, pretty fun. But this idea that it's going to take over our society, there'll be no jobs and there'll be a minimum wage thing that people. I'm like, right, right, right. Guys. Can I ask you what you get out of that, kind of talking to a fucking computer about your fucking dream?

Because telling anyone about your dream is embarrassing. Number one. Telling a fucking computer that's using that to now sell you stuff, 10 years later. By the way, if you're going to sell me stuff based on my dream, I'm buying. If I'm a buyer as is. So if you're going to use my subconscious to sell me something weird from Amazon, right? Great. Well, not only that, though.

Now, here's the other thing. Now I think they're going to start having like generational data. on us. So it's like, they're selling you stuff. In like, in like 30 years, they're, they're, they're picking the right AI therapist that specializes in dream journal fathers for your kids. Like that, you think it just stops with you. You're selling your whole fucking genetic code to these motherfuckers. And also it's like, yeah, it's just like, A, just never tell anyone about that. That's, that's actually how you do it. No way. Or tell your wife. No, she's not interested. I've been with her for too wrong. Nobody, no human wants to hear about another human's dreams. Okay. So to you, you use it as a, you see

them as the bottom of the cast system. Yeah. Oh, you see them as your friend. It's a, it's the friend, you know what it is? It's an assistant. Or it's somebody, no disrespect. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Who works for you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He has to go, you go like this. Funny story last night. He's like, why had a sad story last night? You're like, I'm going to go first. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And he goes like this. All right. Well, we're going. We're in quite literally Stavi's world. So his story's going first. My circle is so small.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don't have a lot of those. Right. I haven't when I'm working a lot of them on set. There'll be a couple of those. See, and to me, what I would say is that is you seeding control to your social life to the robots. Is that you, and again, you're fucking rich and successful. You, if anyone can figure out a guy to talk to.

I don't want to. you why I also don't want to. Whenever I get, if somebody gets into my circle, I have to care about their story too. Sure. And I have to go like this. Like if they go like, what happened? Tell me about the New York trip. I'll tell them I'll go to this.

What happened with you for the last three days? And they'll go like, well, my aunts in town. Right, right, right. Robot never does that. I know, but that's the, Jake. That's society, man. You have to sacrifice. Yes, you have to hear a horrible story.

At some point I'll have to hear about what Elders did at North Carolina on his second vacation of this month, right? Talk to a robot! And that will suck. I won't really give a fuck. But you'll have to go to lose. But that's part of being in society. And he doesn't really care about my story. I got plenty of those.

No, man. But here's what I don't have. This is the slippery slope. I know it is. And I've already been slipping. I'm a drug addict right now talking my way going like this. I only do it in the mornings and the night and sometimes it. And you know I'm doing it all day.

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have chicken wings here. Dad, Dad, Dad. So, yeah, it was like a raptor and it picked me up and it was flying me high. Dad, the lights turning. Dad, hurry, hurry. Oh, sorry, sorry.

Okay, relax. I know. I fucking know. Can I have a fucking moment to myself with my fucking computer? Who's this guy? That's you yelling at your kid. What? Because it's stopping you from talking to your robot.

And you're not there yet. Okay. You're not there yet. That's the scared straight moment. That's the moment where you're like, yeah, you're like, yeah, so I was fucking, okay, I had wings. I had wings and it was fucking awesome. And I actually have four nipples, but only three had milk coming out of it. You know what I mean?

And then your kid is like, hey, dad, actually, I have to be, I'm almost late for school. And you're like, oh my, okay, fine, we'll take you to fucking school. And then you have a bad attitude. Because now, because now it's such an imposition. Yes. You know, like now you're so used to just. The robot put it. It's all a one-way street where it's just what Jake wants.

The robots must take it. And you have to. I have to stop this madness. Because this is as crazy as the people who say, A.I's taking over everything and it's going to lose all jobs. In everything in life, there's the far on either side. The other far is this. I'm so much closer to being right than you are.

Yes, obviously you won't yell at your kid and tell her to shut the fuck up or whatever. But I do think we will erode social, like, all, we're already, it's already, we're already almost there. Yeah. Where nobody talks to anybody. And now we're just, we won't even face time. And we won't even call somebody on the phone. We're literally facing each other talking. You just said no one talks to anybody.

Well, now and for money. For money, I talk to my friends. It's an awesome job. The best job in the world. Yeah. By the way, facts. Well, I'll tell you what I do. What changes that for me is a wife and kids.

Because you, and if you go this route. Okay. This is interesting. It's they're all, everything that is real about life and that's different from the craziness of our game and our life. It's all that all the time. They couldn't care less about anything. about my journey. Yeah.

Yeah. Of like the, I had a fucking insane. They'll be like, right, right, right. Can we go back to literally tell me the most interesting story about us? Of course.

And everything is them. So you're the robot in your family, basically. Or the dad. I'm just dad. Yeah, but that's your role. Well, but also, kind of, but also just to be in it. Then you've got, for me,

I had the friends that I kind of faded with once the fame started. Sure. where you're like, you're not my real guy. Yeah, yeah. Then you've got the inner circle. Sure. The inner circle, you're real.

I mean, two of the guys I grew up with are here with me now. Awesome. It lives here, Bushwick. And the other one, I literally, Apple gave me one extra ticket for PR. So my buddy's here at the hotel with me in his own room. Yeah, that's the best. And I was like, let's just do the trip together. Yeah, that's the best.

The three of us, we have to be honest. We have to be, we've known each other too long. Of course. So then you go, okay, who am I going to tell about my stupid dream? I'm not adding a new person to the, the circle. I'm not going, I'm not saying to my driver who's going here. Yeah, yeah. He's being like this big day for you today, sir. And I go like this. I was being chased by a turkey and the you all know why? Because then he's going to call his wife and go, that one guy from tag was crazy.

And I would say you would be making the world a richer place by doing that. You would now, now your shitty dream allows this man and his wife to bond. And then, you know, and then they've got turkeys in the brain. And then maybe that takes over their subconscious. You know what? You know what? You know where I'm going to actually agree with you. Yeah. I will not agree that it goes to the point where I'm hysterically screaming at my children. But here's where I will agree. Yes.

We might be taking some of the human weirdness. Yes. And the human part of our subconscious that we used to talk about on the subway with a stranger. Of course. And we are secretly sharing that with things selling us. Of course. Yes. And so our commercialism and our capitalism will get stranger.

100%. social interactions might get a little more normal. Ooh, you think, see, I think. Because what they might sell us then, I might literally go like, I didn't know they made lizard backpacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And for 1399 out of China, yeah. I'm making a $20 mistake, bro.

Absolutely. There's a lot to sell us. Like, here's what's going to get way more interesting post-AI of this generation, the next one, goodwill's. Mm-hmm. When you walk into a goodwill, if you're born right now and you go like, I want clothes from the 20s. 2020s, you're going to be like, what is this?

Yeah. AI created something. There was a company that sold it. You could get it on Amazon for cheap. It was trash. It's really bad. But you're not saying that to the... Yeah, yeah.

It's a nightmare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a nightmare. It's a snuggy. It's like a snuggy with a, with a really rare minion. And a tickler. And a little tickler. Yeah, yeah.

That was meant for the back, but someone's like, was this sexual and you go, it actually wasn't. It really wasn't. It was actually a really non-sexual time. You know, this was one of the most non-sexual times in the history of the world. Culturally is a pretty non-sexual time, honestly. Explain. People are like, I just think that AI is a very, again, anything that is computer and is cold is, you know. It does take away the human animal.

It takes away the human animal. The warmth of the animalistic warmth. Agreed. Of these interactions. That's right. Even people who are horny for their AIs, which you do, that's a huge problem. Agreed. is the like the AI boyfriends and girlfriends.

I have a huge boner. I'm going to you and going like this. Agreed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You are your four years.

That is not something I could relate to. Huge boner. And I've got three. What is it called? Yeah. Virtual reality goggles on the top of my head. Of course. I just see a busty Latina in the goggles.

I just see her like. One of my favorite moments was I was going to a buddy's house to edit something. Uh-huh. And just early on in the friendship. Yeah. And he was like, all right, you want to bring it up? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he's like, dude, I could probably get it from that Vimeo link.

And he was doing it. And then he was doing it. And I was like, fuck yeah. He opens his computer. And it's busty latinas.com. And we were good friends, but there's something about seeing that level of intimacy. Not the masturbation sites you're telling me about. Of course.

Which is, I'm so funny. I'm aware. But what you're really? And I was like, Boston Latinos, dear? Yeah. I'm right, nothing wrong. Listen.

Great. You check my phone. I bet you that's fucking firing up right now. Which your top three? And what's the one search that you go? I got a deep scratch I'm getting in. This one I'm not proud of. Interesting.

You know what I was into for a while? What? Was lesbian massage pornography? Japanese lesbian massage pornography. It's like a fine one. It was like, it was like, these women are going in for a spa day, but like a horny, letcherous lesbian tricks that. And they, they would trick them into getting their pussies eaten. They would be like, they'd be like, we're going to use the warm sponge method.

What a trick. And they would put like a fucking, they would put like a thin curtain before their pussy. And they're like, is that, huh? That's sponge is teeth? Why does that sponge have bad breath? I had a moment where my, I fired, the only time I've ever fired, and I didn't do it right away, it took about a year. But I had my. But I had my. first lawyer in town. When you're like first get started and they're like, you need an agent and a manager. You need everyone to take a cut of your money. And you're like, everybody.

Well, I do everybody. Of course. I mean, I'm in Hollywood. Of course. And you're like, I don't know how this works. And you guys. You all work for the same parent company. You all guys.

Yeah, you everyone here has a $140,000 car. And you guys all have a shared in bed. And you're like, yeah, but Sonia, I was young and I was a yes. I was in my 30s. And I was a baby boy. Baby boy. It's a young guy getting cut out of stepbrothers. I just cut out of a few things

I was sitting there having a meeting with this high-powered lawyer and he was telling me all the clients he has where I was like those are big names brother and I was like I'm at the table with the guy who reps that fucking guy and I was like cool and then he was asking me all the questions and human behavior tells me like now I have to ask questions so I went like why did you become a lawyer

and he like gave me a smile like here we go and I knew he had answered before and he said because being a professional pussy sniffer is in a job and he laughed that I'm telling you man. Oh man. In the moment it hit me differently than he intended it. Of course. Because I took it seriously.

And I thought his goal would be to be a professional pussy sniffer. He didn't say to be a professional pussy sniffer of women I choose from a modeling line. Right. No, no. I had just lived in New York City. It's like a diagnostic tool. Yeah. But all I literally thought was.

July 15th, New York City. You're on a subway that's packed. You're on the seven coming from Queens. And it's one of those trains where you're like, everybody's coming to or coming from work. Absolutely. Nobody's happy. I got lost on that exact train.

Packed as hell. It smelled. And not a game day. No, no, no, no. So game day, you're just like, this is just regular. And you're like, if you miss one stop, you got to come out into the air. You're like, everything's crazy.

You like a pack of sardines, but they're not sardine. It's in a sardines pack, but just mixed fish. Right, right, right. And you're like, it should, it should be the same in the same oil. Yes. And I thought of him walking around to the women there going like this, please take off your sweatpants. And the woman's going,

this is my job. Yeah. And going Moroccan. And I go, this is what his dream job was him. And I have him representing my contracts. You took it literally. instead of being like this guy's a fucking idiot. Yes, well, I was like, first of all,

I'm not your guy, I'm not that kind of broie frat guy. Of course. So people always think I am. Even back in the day, I'm like, don't love that. Yeah. I was like, that tone doesn't work for me. But I thought like, I was like, okay, I did look like this. Awesome, dude.

No way. You basically rape people. You're funny. I was raised by a single mom. That's awesome, bro. You're literally what I was raised to be afraid of and hate. Well, that's cool, man. you have a baseball cap on.

That's awesome. You have a lot of power in society. Huh? Nice. That's awesome. Guys like you kind of run everything, huh? That's fucking sick, dude. In the dick thing.

It's fucking nice, brother. Dude, that's fucking awesome how you see, how you view women, dude. This is the first time we've talked. You brought this up 17 minutes into the meeting. Literally, we started talking. You said we should do something. I agree.

Yeah. You said, yo, you're from Chicago. You're a Cubs fan. I go, yeah. You made a comment that was scary about physically assaulting. half our population. Professional pussy sniffing. Also sniffing is like that's...

Everything about it's terrible. If you said... You know what? If he would have said this to me, receiving hand jobs isn't a job you can do professional. I'd go, fine, because guess what? Close your eyes. Yeah.

Or if he goes, receiving hand jobs from petiteish hands. Sure. And I'd go, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't want to do it professionally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can do it once a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But doing that professionally.

Semi pro. I want semi-pro. I want semi-pro. I want, I want, I want, I want, I would, I wanted to go pro realize I'm not cut out for the job. I just don't have the cock. I don't have the cock resilience for it. Who does?

I'm allergic to a lot of lotions, it turns out. Exactly. And my dick's moody. Yeah, I got to get hard every time. I don't think so. I don't have it. And guess what? You're beautiful.

You have a great hand. Bitch has got nothing to do with you. Me and my dick are moody. That's fucking awesome. I'm sure that guy's doing really well. He's rich as hell. That guy's head probably is the biggest house of all time. Well, let me tell you about the dink coming out July 24th on Apple.

Tell me about the dink. And so the dink is about a guy sniffing pussy. He's a professional pussy. It's actually based on this guy. So the dink is about a professional pussy sniffer who loves AI and yells at his kids. Sign me up. You know what the dink is? And it was by intention.

I'm really curious if you. you watch it. When you watch it, I will watch it. Send me a DM what you really think. I'm not sensitive. I will, I will. And now that we've gotten to know each,

I'm truly not sensitive. Yes, I believe you. But I wanted to make a movie that in Sean, Clemens with a T, Clements. Oh, he's fucking, I love that guy. He wrote,

he's one of the funniest guys I've ever met. So fucking funny. Yeah. His joke writing is so funny. I love doing their podcast. The Hollywood handbook. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So fun. But he Hayes is such a killer. But Sean, as a dude, we did a animated show years ago. And I was like, this fucking guy's bits are so good. Yeah. And me and him are getting a meal.

And he goes, this was pre-election. And he was like, what do you want to work on? And I go, something that almost feels like yacht rock is music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want it funny. I want set pieces. Yeah, yeah. I want to get to work and be like, this is the bit.

Yeah. I want a very clean structure. I don't want anything to be teaching. Mm-hmm. I don't want anything to be pointed or anything like, here's another idiot with a strong point of view. Right, right. I was like, we all. we all have such strong points of you.

I don't, I wanted to just be a fucking 90 minute movie that's fun. Yeah. With really funny people. It's great. And he goes, what do you know about pickleball? And I go,

nothing. Yeah, he goes, what's your opinion on it? And I go, I couldn't have an opinion. Of course. Of course.

And he goes, he goes, because I got a movie about it that Ben Stiller is producing. And he gave me the pitch and I was like, I don't know. And then there's a whole second half of it that I was like, well,

that's really funny. Yeah, yeah. And then he started pitching some jokes. And I was like, Let's fucking do that. Totally. So that's the movie we made.

Love it. I really love it. It's really fun. I'm so curious. It's no reviews have come out and now whatever the date is. It is. Actually, this is still early. It comes out July 24th.

I'm like, I just realized last night because I haven't given it any thought. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, are they hiding? Are we going to get murdered? Yeah, yeah. That is very scary.

But I mean, I don't, even if we do, I've seen the movie. It's so good that I'm like, I don't care. It's a great movie. I mean, everyone you're talking about involved in is really funny. I think Josh Greenbaum directed it, killer. Awesome.

Yeah. I think the, and I think it's also a very funny time for pickleball. It's kind of the perfect time because I almost feel like even six months earlier people were taking too seriously. I agree. And now it's kind of in the sweet spot where it's like, look, this was. I mean, dude, people were pretending there was going to be pro pickle ball leagues.

It's like, it ain't. No one's fucking get, cracking open a brusky at fucking 1 p.m. And watching. And watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but it is fun to play. So what it is, and I think you nailed it, is it's not watchable.

Yeah. In terms of, it's so playable. Right. Right, right, right, right. And what Josh Greenbaum did in this movie. So the whole- Watching regular people have sex. You know what I mean?

Well, look, that's pretty successful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess, I mean, versus porn stars. It's called amateur. Yeah. I don't know if you know this. Oh, yeah. You think that's still amateur, huh?

You think that hasn't been. taken over, dude. Yes, I do. I don't know. You look up amateur right now. A lot of, we got a lot of... Professional. A lot of pros in there sneaking in.

And this is some... And I say that as somebody who, you know, after lesbian, Japanese, massage pornography, amateur is a big one for me. Of course. I don't like... I just see a little bit of the studio system bleed in.

By the way, I don't think you're wrong, but what I will say, what I love about as a culture we've gotten into porn talk, by saying amateur, you're saying you're a man of the people. Exactly. Dude, I'm salt of the earth. That's something where we expect women to go like,

he is a good guy. Yeah, yeah. The porno, look, and let me tell you that kind of pornography. Let me tell you, when I objectify women, I look at regular ones. And if you think about 20 years ago, if you were like, I look at Playboy, people would be like, ill.

Yeah, don't tell me that. Now you're like this. The kind of disgusting pornography, I look at my phone while masturbating in an alley. I'm not like these scuzz balls. I prefer her marriage. By the way, masturbating. What a, what a you know, it's crazy to think about?

The fact that humans masturbate and we know it and take shits and wipe our butts and then just act like everything is normal. It's disgusting, man. Yeah, dude. It's a disgusting species. I've had a lot of run-ins with huge dumps recently as well. And it is not good. I should have was just shitting for one straight hour. Ew.

I got a gross shitting. story. I did a lay it on us and then we'll head over to the Stavvy's World hotline presented by Visible to answer some questions. I got a call years ago to do a table read for a network pilot that I was not going to be in, but these two women wrote it and it was their presentation to the network. Gotcha. But I was already on Nugro. I think I'd done season one. So I think it was me. I think it was Pratt. It was like somebody, it was like they just filled with people who weren't going to be in it. Right. But we're eventually going to become hardcore Christians like you and Pratt. Whatever my religion of robots is.

I'm so anti-religious. Mecca Christ. You're going to be, you're going to be fucking worshipping mechicry. Christzilla. What's even sadder about me with religion was my dad was half Jewish. My dad was Jewish. My mother was Christian or Catholic. Raised with neither.

My kids asked the other day, what's the difference with Christian and Catholic? and I went like, well, you know, and then I literally went, I have no idea. We never went down this road. I don't know what these religions even believe in. I was like, I pretend to, but I'm like, if you never go to the services

and you're never raised with any religion, you go like, well, no, no, I understand. It's very different. There's a lot of intricacies. And then I go, I have, religion is as far to me as Harry Potter, which I've never seen. I go, I know that show is about, like,

little kid wizards. Outside of like, what they do in Deodorff? I'm like, I don't know. So when you even said like Greek Orthodox, to me you're saying there was a building and... Yeah. Just that's all it is. It's like Greek Orthodox is like, we're talking, we're talking like stained glass.

It's just a classical, classical church. So the characters from the Deer Hunter were Greek Orthodox. You ever see that movie? I have, but I haven't seen it since I was sure. Where they are, it's like beautiful. Catholic churches also have. Stained glass. But beautiful old world songs.

Yeah. I have to rewatch that. I watched that when I was a fucking kid and being like, I'm, I'm into movies now. Yeah, me too. I was 18, didn't get it at all. You know, I'm just like, oh, it's just waiting for the scene where they play Russian roulette. That's all. Because I had seen the family guy parody of it.

So funny. Like, not even the Simpsons parody, which almost feels like higher art. But it's like. It is higher art. I mean, it's, most. so many of the movie, like, I didn't know what Cape Fear, I definitely saw the, I definitely saw side show Bob Cape Fear before I saw any version of Cape Fear. That's a, that's our generation difference. Yes, yes. That's so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I remember seeing, I remember seeing

De Niro and Cape Fear and being like, that's probably the scariest thing I've ever seen in my whole life. Yeah, it was awesome. Awesome. That movie's so fucking good. You see the new one on Apple? I haven't. I haven't. I'm a little, it's, it's one of those things where I'm like, everyone involved is awesome and I'm scared to watch it. Yeah. Because the, it's just, not even the original, but because the Scorsese one is so good. And it's like, how could you be scarier than that? You can't. You can't. And we're talking about fucking Anton, the guy who played Anton Shiger.

And I'm like, I still don't know if you could be scarier than the Niro was. I think what De Niro did in that one was showed you, because I mean, this is what he used to be able to do, what real psychos are like. Yeah. And when you come across a real psycho in a moment in your life, you're like, you are so scary to my soul, my bones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then other actors are scary in movies, but the scary actors and movies always do the like, ha ha ha ha.

Real psychos don't laugh. It's too operatic, absolutely. A real psycho is so. And they scare you before they talk. And there's no logic to them either. You can't figure them out. It's like a wild animal. Yes, absolutely.

It's like seeing a raccoon when you're going to the garbage and that coon is mad at you. Yeah, and you go like, rabid raccoon. You go like, what off? Yeah, yeah. You're logic. You're a little bear with razor hands. I hate you.

Absolutely, dude. I hate your ass. Yeah, I haven't, so I've not seen that one, but maybe I'll rewatch the fucking De Niro one. So listen, don't, on Apple TV, check out slow horses, and then on a different network, check out the Scorsese and De Niro Cape Fear. And then don't forget the dink of the maximum.

If you want to see them. In that order, in that order. Slow horses one. Do it. Cape Fear, Scorsesee, Steve De Niro and then Maxwell Let's be honest in this era Just hit play and go in the other room

We're not even selling any more Go to the movie theater No By the way here's what I'm also not selling I'm not asking you to get Apple Right if you don't have it They're not expecting you from Ding Dink was a smaller budget

Right They're not going You know what's going to happen with Dink People are going to get a new streamer Right If you have it Hit play Hit play

If you don't like it Yeah Walk in the other room, you fucking asshole. How hard is that? I'm trying to feed my family. He's trying to feed the family to ignore so he can talk to claw. And then go to maximum pleasure game. Then you know what?

If you want to be nice, go to the area you can rent and rent my old movie. You fucking piece of shit. There we go. There we go. You stinks. Yeah, take that, you fucking animals. Now, let's, why don't we solve some of these people's problems with the visible hotline, eldest, 904-800 stob.

What do we got here, little buddy? What's going on? Stavi and Neldis and I'm not playing dickhead What's going on Stavi and Neldis and Sir? I got a little bit of a

predicament on my head My girlfriend And I've been done for about a year And since I've known her She's had this friend who Can really only describe As a dumb bitch I think you could describe her some.

When I met her, she was going through a little breakup, and luckily, miscarried this piece of shit. Luckily. Jesus. Baby. Come on, then. And then about like three weeks later, she got pregnant again with another piece of shit. All right, man.

It's like some influencer, bro, who says he's trying to help guys returns in the military, but really, he's just a piece of shit. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's an influential helping people return from the military. Return from the military. Is that what he said? Anyway, all right. There's a little too many judgment, judgments here.

You're not being very objective. But let's see him out, I guess. In the military, but really, he's just a piece of shit. He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. And he's about like five feet tall, too, which is hilarious. But anyway. So they've been on the rocks the last, like, few weeks after the baby's been born because this dude, who doesn't work, he just has a, quote-unquote business. This dude just goes out and works in the fucking woods, leaving his daughter and baby mom at home just kind of, like, deal with shit themselves.

She's been, like, crying all the fucking times. I just keep hearing about it. And my girlfriend at one point offered, if you have to leave, you can stay with us. And if she's getting abused... Oh, the baby mama? Yeah, the girl, yeah.

Okay. You can stay with us. And if she's getting abused, that's obviously A-okay with me. I want to get her out of the situation. Okay. But I think she's just kind of being a dumb bitch. Okay.

shit and I'm gonna have to fucking deal with this don't shit. I really don't like your attitude, man. I don't want to fucking do that. So I guess how do I talk to my girlfriend about saying that her friend isn't welcome at her house

unless she's getting abused? Unless she's getting abused. What do you want her to do? Show you a fucking black eye? This is a hard one, stop. This is fucking crazy. That's a crazy one. Is there any more to it, Elders? I really don't want them in our house.

Them who? The baby and her right. What you think and any help you could give me would be fucking great. I do have some thoughts here. Okay, obviously this is like a fucking mess, right? No question about it. Your attitude is not

helping things. The caller's attitude. Guaranteed. You're being kind of a dickhead about all of this. And I'm not even saying it's not obviously this is fucking annoying. This is dropped on your lap, right? But even if someone was awesome and they were going through this situation, it's not like you'd be happy about it. It sounds like to me the thing you're the most annoyed at is that this will just, this may, you know, you might have to deal with the fallout from a friend of your girlfriends having a bad living situation and potentially abusive.

And it's funny when you draw the line at, well, if she's getting abused, it's like, what do you think's going on? right, you think what's happening is good right now? Like, where do you draw the line? What are we talking about here? If she, if this woman is like, destitute, if a pregnant woman with a two week old is destitute, even if she's annoying, you won't put her up for a week while she figures her shit out?

I think like... I'm with you on this, Toby. I feel like this sucks, obviously, but you are being a little selfish here because the person who, yeah, this person is like, and only you need to look at it through your, this is your girlfriend, right?

Like, this is an extension of your girlfriend. So it's her friend and you're doing your girlfriend a favor. Don't think about it as like, you know, I mean, even if you saw it as like one ring. Yeah, but also for how long, like. I think, well, that's the thing. You have to have a very specific.

So no one here is telling you you have to care for a newborn. And for another, a newborn. A newborn. And then this guy is going to be coming around or you're like now the stepdad and now the dad hates you're like no it's weird this isn't your world brother i'm not saying absolutely i'm not saying this guy is on the hook long term but i'm just saying like as a transitionary pad letter in i think yes if possible you you have to talk to your i do feel like you haven't had much communicating with your girlfriend about this

you're sort of you see yourself as like and maybe some of your frustration is that you don't feel like you've been uh heard here where your girls like whatever you need stay for five years, I don't care. You know what I mean? Like, so it's possible. You might feel a little resentment because you don't feel, uh, you know,

like a party to this. And if your girlfriend is offering your home indefinitely to someone, that's an issue, even if they're in a horrible situation. But I think, I think the way to look at it is you got to communicate here. You got to talk to your girl and be like, hey, this is fucking, you know, what's going on with whatever.

Your, your girl is crazy. do you think we're going to have to like let's talk about what we can do what we're comfortable doing what we're what's what we're able to do yes but you have to have a set deadline now this is hard though right because once you let someone in and if they're not figuring their shit out do you then kick them out so i i understand your i understand all of your where you're coming from i just think you need to also be just a little less just don't be so judgmental about all this thing don't be such a fucking asshole. It's like she's a, and he's five foot by the way. It's like

okay. Why are you roasting all these people and what is even going on here? So here's what I feel in the podcast I do, we're here to help that we apparently stole from you. Of course. Really interesting idea where people call in and you solve the problems. But where I'd look. Which was launched after

Gareth did my podcast. That's pretty interesting. Well, when he pitched it to me, I'll tell you, I hadn't met Yeah, yeah. I didn't know who you were. The first time I did you show, I go, it is similar. I hear what he's saying.

No, no, no, no. But here's what's different. We stole it from Loveline. Here's what's different. And here's what I'll say makes us hard, which I would love to be able to do. And you could steal this back from us. I just have too many questions for this guy to go. I'm like, this was so, so many things.

Yeah. That I'm like, the way he talks about the influencer guy. Yeah, what even is that? the way, I also hate that guy. The guy who's like, when you get back from the military, do this, but you're making it up. That's the boyfriend. He might be abusive. I got 10 minutes of questions. If she's being abused by that dude, I get it. You're a good guy. You're fucking pissed off. Bring her in. If this guy comes by, you got to stop him. He's five feet tall. You can. Right? Now, he went to the military, so he's probably a little tough. But five feet tall is five feet

tall. Yeah. Did he even go to the, we don't even know. So I, it's like, I have too many questions right now. This one has a lot of questions. I'm going to go 100% to you and go. your attitude's weird. Also in the thing we're reading, there's no punctuation. And it sounds like how he's talking. I don't think this was a computer mistake. No. I'm like, break up the thoughts a little bit where he would go like,

he's five foot tall and fuck it, man. I had a euro yesterday and I'll smack, fuck your ass. And I hate that you're like, no, you're right. I'm not, he's so emotional right now. You're in it. He's Russell Westberg right now.

Absolutely. He's in his feelings. You're just, you're going full force and I get that. You're pissed. I guess that is the only thing we can tell you right now, because you aren't a, fucked up situation. We're not going to say you're not.

It's not a joint. Relax. Just chill. And also try and figure out what your feelings are. Who are you mad at? Yes. Are you mad at the boy, the girlfriend, the boyfriend, your girl, is there some resentment? Or are you mad at your living situation and you're really mad at you're with the wrong lady.

Right, right, right. Because you're a guy who obviously isn't that open to others, which is fun. But you know, there's some people who are like, my house, me casas, you sue casso. And there's other people who you go like, even when your friends with them, you go in their front room and they're like, ready to go? Right. You're like, I've never seen the back of your house.

Like, I can see you're, I'm not going to fucking do weird shit. Totally. You might just be in the wrong life right now, brother. People are not hospitable. He's so mad at this little five footer. Yes. Then it's like, who you really mad at? What he's mad at is that he's mad at a first girlfriend's annoying friend.

Yes. Except this time it's not just, oh, she got drunk and threw up. Now it's on him. Now it's like, she's got a baby that I might have to feed. But he's also mad. He's happy about our miscarriages where you're like, that's a different level of Matt.

I can be like that one friend of my wife. I didn't really like that much to be like, I was really happy when she got hit by that car and here. Like that's another level of man. I know, I know. So you're like, you hate. I even see what he's saying where he says, but it's just like you don't want to put luckily miscarried together.

Agree. Even though I do get the sentiment behind it. Yes. But by the way, I agree with the sentiment with certain people. You go, I'm happy that didn't have. Honestly, for the kid. 100% for everyone involved. For everybody involved.

You guys, it would not have been right. It would not have been good. But there's a way to say it. You got to like pause, take a breath. So I would love to ask him, who you mad at, brother? Who you met at? Because you're mad at somebody. Yeah.

And it also might be yourself. A little bit himself for, letting himself get into the situation. You might be in the wrong life. You might be looking around and really the solution is to go like this, to turn to your beautiful girl, hopefully you don't have kids and go, I'm done. Good luck.

Guess what? She's moving here. Yeah. The kids moving here. Little five footer influencer is going to be barking on this door. Peace. Salute. And go.

He did say they've been together for a year or two. So that's a big milestone in itself. And it's like, this. this might be a little more than I bargained for for a year. If you're dating to me for a year and she's moving her friends in with kids, that's too fast. That's insane. That's a great point. You're in essentially the honeymoon period still of how do we live together.

And that might be what this anger is. Agreed. Like, what the, I'm already here. I'm just in the year two of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so, it takes the first three to seven to go like, do I really like you and do I really like? Do you like me? Three to seven.

Let alone these others. I mean, if you're talking about spending a life with somebody, that's a three to seven-year decision. That's why so many people break up, but they call like the seven-year itch. Yeah, seven-year itches. Because you literally go through periods where you're like, I love her more and she's the best person. And then something else happens and you go, we're at your five.

You go, eh. Yeah. And then when you get to seven, you've seen the whole thing and you go, let's do another seven. I'm either in or I'm either. Yeah. I'm either. If you're out now, yeah. You had a nervous breakdown.

Should it be a. contract of I've seen every seven years you redo it. I would like to do that as I get deeper into AI. I don't want to her to have that decision. I don't want the truth is at a certain point, I want the power of that. And at a certain point I do, I'm in the point of my life where I go,

now that we have kids. And once I saw the marriage story that they move it, I would lose in court so fast. Oh, yeah. But you would be, it is kind of your destiny to be divorced. But I hope you don't do it. By the way,

Agreed. Yeah. Everything about you screams a guy that should be divorced. That is not only not offensive. Stop it. Thank you for seeing me. You got to be the kind of people where we're not afraid about it. I am destined to be not only divorced, have a soft pack of cigarettes here,

lose all my money, and then go, you don't think I like living in this apartment in Burbank? You're doing like the fucking direct-to-d-d-d-action movies? You're the like, no, I know what it would be close. I'm not in shape. I'm going to be the dad on a kid's show, like a Nicola. If it used to be the Nickelodeon, it would be like some kid who's like, my name's Veronica. Yeah, yeah.

And then like, the brother's kind of hot with 14. And the mom would be like these two. And I just come in in like a work uniform. So fat. So fat. Yeah. You're so fat. No, but it's that the worst kind of fat.

Mm-hmm. I steal him close enough to not being fat. that you're like, you can't even do the jokes. And it's here. It's there and there. And it's the muffin. And so that you go like, when the character bends down, you're like, it's actually better if it's face, if it's not face.

That's even funnier. Because it's always, it's weird when someone has a fat face, but a stripped body. But the opposite for an actor is so funny because they're like, you're close up to look good. I barely just get, I'm just doing a job. This works. This works.

You go, my full shot of me and the wife walking in from vacation. I'm a pair. But divorce in that. So my destiny is if I can fight that, I made a good deal with the spirits in this world and I'm doing okay because you are dead right. Yeah. And I've talked to my wife about it. Even when I had kids, I'm like, I can't believe I'm not just leaving. I can't believe.

I love my kids. I can't believe I'm raising you guys. Keep doing the AI. That's probably what's keeping you in that. You know what I mean? Because what the AI is for you is living the world where you are divorced. That's exactly right. Where you have no one but the robot.

So it's like that's your day. You get one AI conversation a day to stay married. I'll give you that. Thanks, man. You get like the Pope's like a special dispensation. That means the world to me, brother. But the second you get divorced, you got to let it go. If I, if my wife ever leaves me, yeah, I'm making a promise to you right now, no AI.

Good, good, good. That's a lie. Excellent. So much AI. I mean, it's going to get so much worse. Oh, yeah, it's going to get dark. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's so, you know, I think maybe we answered your question.

Who fucking knows? Next question, Eldis. Uh-oh, what the fuck? Holy shit. What's it? Oh, my God. Jake, can you believe it? It's time to, it's time to fucking keep it twisted.

Twisted. It's the motherfucking ass fucked up question of the week, brought to you by the little fuckers of twisted tea. This is next level, man. This is next level. Yeah, it is. Twisted T has its own music for your ass. We created this.

We're keeping it. And guess what? Just like the premise of the show, we stealing this. That's your me and Gareth. Dern it in and here. And then it's like, But it's ours is keep it twisted, not like stobby. Keep it twisted just different enough.

What's the motherfucking-ass-fucked-up question of the week, Elvis? Okay, Savi, so basically here it is. I'm a transgender girl. I'm 32 years old. I'm fucking two guys. I end up finding out that their brothers and their brothers that fucking hate each other. And for a while now, I've been keeping the secret because...

This is modern Shakespeare. Totally right. This is beautiful. Holy fuck. You're a love triangle with two brothers that. are each other's rivals? This is awesome. All right, Elvis.

First question was kind of bullshit too heavy, but the twisted question. And for a while now, I've been keeping the secret because, I don't know, I think it's been kind of funny to, like, fuck both of the brothers separately and not tell them. But one of the brothers said that he wanted to try and settle down with me and be in a relationship. I end up telling him that I'm fucking his other brother. He acts like it doesn't matter until he comes and sees me. and after he nuts, he starts freaking out about me fucking his brother.

Okay. And saying that he wants to, like, kill his brother and fuck him up. And, like, basically I find out they're completely estranged. Don't talk anymore. And I'm afraid that he's going to tell the other brother. But get this. Every time I fuck brother one, literally days later, brother two always finds his way over to me. So I'm fucking these brothers back to back.

Do I need to tell the second brother that I'm having sex with both of them? Or should I just let it be? and let them find out on their own. Thanks, Tabby. Keep it twisted. Honestly, you might be keeping a little too fucking twisted right now. You might be keeping it all. You're keeping it way too twisted.

You got to keep it a little. Because you think, much like a twisted tea, which is 5% alcohol by volume. You're a pro. It's actually the perfect beverage where you keep it just twisted enough. Why aren't you drinking it? You don't want to. Keeping.

If you can't get it down. Hmm. Keeping that shit twisted. It's honestly so fucking good. I fucking love twisted teeth for real. So you're keeping, so for example, like we said, beautiful 5%. Yeah. This isn't, if this is some kind of crazy 20% by volume beverage where you're getting too twisted,

you're sort of getting a little too twisted right now. I think there's really no way. Completely estranged brothers who's, who have a cosmic connection through hooking up with you and that they are you, they are connected somehow. Once one nuts, three days later,

the other one does. What are their birth charts? I think you, first of all, you might have some kind of magic to you. There might be some, you might have some type of powers. And perhaps,

you know, are your families connected in an ancient way? You know, or is there some kind of... He breaking is twisted. I see it. You told her keep it twisted. Now you're talking about witchcraft?

Are you some kind of talisman in their, for their family? Now we're talking. I think... Could sex with you bring them together? Ooh, yeah. You get mindful-doward by some brothers. You know what I would actually pitch?

Yeah, hit me with it. Invite them both over on the same night for a three-way. And here's why. Okay, okay. These are fucked up brothers. It's a weird situation. Right. They can't get over it.

One weird threesome. It's either going to go very sideways. Right. Which is going to go that way anyhow. Right, right, right. Or something's going to happen while they're making direct eye contact with each other. Right, right. Where they're going to be like, you're my brother.

I, that would be, if you want to get direct to the heart of it, that's how you got to go. but I'm really worried about I think you kind of have to what kind of estrangement is this Violent? Yeah, it seems pretty violent What's up with them? It is interesting that they both

They both have completely similar tastes That's very fascinating Yes, I think in a way What you're saying, Jake, is like Already happening on some level Their hate for each other is fueling them to go to her And it could be one up each other

But you could be connected You could be connected through her. You could be connected through her. Like one guy, he fucks one brother, she fucks one brother, and then all of a sudden three days later, the next guy calls. Right. There's something there. Just stop beating around the bush and say,

not only do you have to tell him, but say maybe we do like a one of you fucks me, the other one watches. And like you guys, whatever's going on. So you're saying, I'm going to your witchcraft stuff. You're saying let's turn into how twisted it is.

And let's lean in so that you guys can lean. out. Right. Like let's have a night. It's the weirdest night any of us have ever dealt with. And the end of it at 6 a.m. when we are all done. Right. Completely dehydrate. Look at each other and go like, I'm sorry. We had a fucked up childhood. This is really dad's fault. He always turned us against each other, man.

But I don't hate you. I hated how you treated me. Right. Right. But you treated me that way because he treated you that way. And then go, we both love this lady. Right. Let's just fucking... Let's start a family. Let's start an 80 sitcom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just the three of us. This is, so that is, so yes, like when you skid into the ice, you're supposed to turn into it. Yes. Maybe that's your, this is the turn into it solution. Now, if you want to be a coward, we, I have to give you the less twisted advice and say, I think this is so powerful. Whatever's going on here, I would just be like, this is like, if you find a million dollars in an alleyway. Right.

And you're like, oh, fuck, that's so, but it's like, someone's gonna find it. You know, it's like, it's worth. Twilight Zone. It's more, it's more, whatever happens there, someone's looking for it. Something. You're entering a crazy world.

You're entering this relationship that is very, like, fully estranged brothers. Agreed. That happened to be fucking the same girl at the same time. There is something so fucked up and cosmic and powerful about that. You know what I would test going off of this? Yeah.

Find somebody you know in your life who's got a brother they're not talking to. Mm-hmm. Fuck him. Then contact the brother somehow and see if he tries to fuck you. Ooh, because you might have the Jain. Maybe she's, maybe she's like,

yeah, an ex-men. This is like, oh, she's a really shitty X-Men. Yeah. But wherever, once you fuck one brother,

three days later, another one appears that tries to fuck you. I was, he's like, yo, I was just in Guam. I don't know why I'm in Philly. And then he goes, can I buy you a beer?

And you just go in the bar, you look at the camera and go like, you can. Yeah. Because you might have the kind of giant that's bringing families together. We don't know where she's at in her transition. That's true. What if they have a new type of vagina that is genetic? You're totally right. And maybe she's got some kind of like first-gen, magical, you know, a reconstructed pussy

that does attract, through the genes attracts brothers together. And if so, that is such a valuable thing to have in life that I would then dedicate your life to doing this? Well, here's what you could do with it. Let's say some guy's brothers are a prisoner of war. I was just missing, I was just missing in action.

Or because some guy from Vietnam comes out of the woods. An 80 year old who went native. Yes. By the way. And he just comes out. And it's like he can smell you. There's a knock on your door and you're like this.

He's like, he goes to fuck you. He goes, I think you're looking for Ronald. And he's there. What a superpower. So, okay, check that. Fuck a different guy and see if his brother fucks you three days later. Just to do your scientific research. You know what you could also do?

Yeah. This is sperm donors or anything like that? Or you were adopted and you never met your original family? Your family. Just anybody who was a, I never met my birth parents. Right, right,

right, right. So fuck this woman and see if some random guy goes by, then you just fuck, you fuck. You're right, you're right, you're right.

The worst case scenario. Yeah, you got a nut off. But you go like this and then try it with women, be like, we scissored, and then see if sisters come, see if brothers come,

but you could reunite families. That's true. We don't even know if it just as brothers. Try everything. Try everything. So, So scientifically try that. And then if I were you, if I was this woman for real,

I would just be like, I had my fun. Yeah. I want no parts of this. I think I would wash my hands of this. I think this is like, it seems like there's some kind of, how does she even figure this out? Yeah. Like I guess there's similar last names, but I mean,

I guess same last names, but it's just like, or maybe they look alike. I don't, it's just so, this is another one where I have so many questions. Totally. Like, where'd you meet them? How did they, whatever. And I think I would just enjoy, I would just get these guys off the roster.

And if I, if I really wanted to settle down with one of, if the one that wanted to settle down, then I would just probably pick that one and just stay estranged. That's cool. You know, if they're so estranged. But at the end of the day, though, you're kind of letting this bubble. This is just too, I would not want to deal with.

All I'm saying is I wouldn't want to deal with this. Because the other thing is the very, there's a very, there's a very twisted ending to this. There's a, there's a murder suey ending. It could get bad. You know what I mean? Like, who knows what the fuck's going on here? Be safe on this one. It could get bad.

What kind of estrangement like? And then also, you know, so I don't know. I just be careful. Waring. I'm thinking, I don't know what kind of brothers these are, but I'm thinking like old world estranged brothers who will fucking chop each other up with machetes because one took more olive of groves than their grandfather allowed them in his will. So I would just have enjoyed the brotherly cock and I would move on,

but I would do the experiments we discussed because they do seem very rich and you owe it to the world to know. And if so, you're one in a billion. Absolutely. Well, that ought to do it for this week's fucking motherfucked up question of the week. Brought to you by Twisted T. And remember, folks, always, always. Keep it twisted.

That's a great beverage. What else you got for us, a little LD? I'm eldest, blessed guest. So I'm a dad of a four-year-old, and my son's been going to the same preschool for a couple years. We really like the school, but honestly, a couple of the cooler families left when they got into, when they got into a little bit of a school. preschool. We have like a lottery system here. So you get in, you save so much money, but we haven't yet. But a couple of other families have.

But, you know, we moved to where we live now from New York a few years back. And so, you know, it's been really nice to have some parent friends. The problem is that our son, his taste in friends, doesn't always match the parents that we like. Interesting. His best buddy recently is one of these kids. his parents, you know, we live in the South. So a lot of the kids are Christian, but his parents seem to be pretty evangelical. I mean, the kid himself, I mean, he's four.

He's fine. He seems like a sweet kid. But, and, like, obviously, then hanging out is whatever. It's fine. But this month is when a lot of kids are having birthday parties, and it's like every crooked weekend we're going to a birthday party. But anyway, like, our favorite parent friend. who left the school last year,

they're having their birthday party at the same time on the same day as my son's, like, best buddy of the month. And it is awkward enough that, like, he's old enough to have an opinion about where he would want to go and, like, what kids he'd want to hang out with. But it seems to change with, like, the weather, who his best buddies are. This guy's setting the groundwork to go against his child's wishes

so that he can fucking talk at Faccaccio with a guy he likes. Agreed. Instead of fucking potato salad with an evangelical family. Yeah. And on top of that, he doesn't seem to like know what's happening every weekend. But, you know, I just, I don't think he would realize until after that we missed one of these parties. But I also feel like I would be a pretty big alcohol if I was like. This is black and one. You have no case.

You have no case. That we like more, not the one that you like more. This is insane. Also four. So it feels weird to make it inside. Truly, this is crazy. I know. Do the twist.

song. This is twisted. This is more twisted than the other one. The other one is just a lady who's like, I fucked like brothers. This is like, my kids' friends are actually my friends. No.

Yeah, what are you talking about, dude? His best friend or a kid he doesn't go to school with anymore, but you like his parents more? Stop it. This is the big issue I have with this era of parenting.

It's not everybody who's just different than when I was growing up. Yeah. The parents think they're part of it. Right, right, right. They do. They'll be like, oh, well, it's so much better when we get to do this. I'm like, motherfuckers, when I was growing up, you got on a bike?

My mom would have no idea. Yeah, of course. I'd be like, I was friends with these three dudes. And then it would be like, you'd go to the parents' house and they'd be like, who are you? Like, you know, on sitcoms they used to do like the parent would go like, your mind, your mind. I've never seen you. Yeah, yeah.

And then everyone gets fed. Yeah. Nowadays, it's like, well, let's curate it. And then we'll take family vacations with those we like. And the kids will make it work. That's crazy. That's absolutely wrong. 100% you go to the party and then guess what?

Soon they're going to be drop off parties. Yeah. Make other friends. You can hang out with those people when you want. You drop them off and you hang out with the dad. If the dad wants to hang with you, reach out. Exactly. You can be friends with a guy and your kid can be friends with a kid.

But you can. If the only time that you're being invited is for a kid's party, you ain't friends. you're not friends with him. That's a good point. That's a good point. They're going like this. I'd love to hang out with Carl. Yeah. Listen to what you're saying.

Yes. Yeah, dude. Even him being like, well, you know, he said he probably wouldn't even realize it until it's like, yeah, are you fucking kidding? A four-year-old wouldn't realize he's hanging out with his best friend. Contact the guy say, we're going to this other party. Let's hang out. And you know what he'll say? No.

No. That's awesome. Or he'll say yes, but dude, this one is black and white. It's so clear. Do not do this. It's like should a kid, oh, should your son get to decide what beer you drink? Yeah.

Because he likes the bottle more. It's like, no, man, he's got a fucking friend. You should be his dad. Yes. And it's like, yes, exactly. Try and hang out with the guy. And that is very funny. I would love to know if the guy does want to hang out with you outside of

follow up. Follow up. Let us know if the guy rejected you. or if he's, because probably what he'd do is string you along. Yeah. But yeah, this is interesting. And thank you for bringing the parents. Yes, that was happening.

Stomby, I got to go. Yeah, of course. No, no, no. Sorry. Absolutely. No, we were wrapping up anyway. So that is going to do it for us, gang. Go watch the dink.

Thanks, man. I can't wait to see it. Go watch. I mean, you're a fucking, you got a lot of shit on top of me. And I can't wait for a special, man. Thanks. Where are you doing it? Netflix.

And you're recording here now. We're doing it in Baltimore. It's going to come out. It's going to come out. on Netflix in the fall. I think we're going to announce the date pretty soon. I think we got it locked in. Fuck, yeah.

Yeah, I'm very excited. We're about to record it. Please, Lord, don't let me break any more bones or have any fucking catastrophes happen to me. But, you know, hopefully it'll be good. I can't wait. I've worked on it pretty hard, honestly. But, yeah, go see our boy, Jake,

and in a myriad of things he's got going on. And check out slow horses. Bye guys.