Stavvy's World - #194 - Dominic Sessa

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

Dominic Sessa joins the pod for a special culinary themed ep to discuss his new movie TONY (A24, in theaters nationwide this Friday, August 21), calculate how much lobster Stav ate on set, talk about working with director Matt Johnson, lament how much cooler it is to be a musician than an actor, promise to hire Stav as his coach if he’s ever cast in a fat role, recount his prep school schemes, and much more. Dominic and Stav help callers including a guy whose girlfriend is so far out of his league that strangers comment on it in public, and a guy wondering if he should tell his girlfriend that him and one of his best bros used to fool around. See Dominic Sessa’s new movie TONY (A24) in theaters nationwide this Friday, August 21! Follow Dominic Sessa on social media: https://www.instagram.com/dominic.sessa/ Thanks to our sponsors! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW!   ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Folks, we have an incredible episode with my boy Dominic Sess, a star of Tony, which is out this Friday nationwide. Go see it. And also, go see tires in the comfort of your own home. It's on Netflix. It came out last week. So proud of the season. So, so funny. Shane McKeever, Steve Gerben. We have Foley, so many friends of the podcast, Dan Soder, my beautiful wife, Steph Toll have so many people. that have done this podcast, that are some of the funniest people on Earth, we made a really, really, really great season of television.

I can't wait for you to see it. Please check it out. Check out Tony. And then, of course, Uncle Stav comes out September 8th in a couple weeks here. So it's busy here at Stavey Baby Enterprises, and we hope you will like all the stuff we worked really, really hard on to put out this year.

And for right now, enjoy the podcast with my pal and yours, Dominic Sessa. Hopa! Welcome to you. Everybody, the Stavvy's World, 904-800 stop. All the Staggy's World Hotline, presented by Visible, will solve all your problems. And today I'm very happy. I don't know if you can tell.

It's a bit of a themed episode. We have my boy Dominic Sessa on the couch. Dom, what's up, baby? Dude, look wherever you, you know. How's it going? There's no cameras here, but it's just us talking. It's not, it's exactly like our regular conversations. I want to speak to the people.

Yeah. No, we actually cannot have our regular conversations on camera. We will be toning it down just a little bit, folks. But we have here the two, I think arguably the two most important parts of Tony, the movie. We are doing a podcast. Tony, in theaters in New York and L.A. right now. And I think next week, it opens right when this comes out. Yeah.

Is that right? It is when it comes out. We got it. Don't worry, guys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been to fucking doing movies. You don't know that sometimes we record things ahead of time, you dumbass. We're not live going on YouTube right now. You've been doing too much press. Your brain is pride. You're like, huh? But it's not even out yet. It is crazy that the movie hasn't even come out. It is nuts, dude. Honestly, I will, I'll suck us off a little bit to start. The movie's awesome.

And I know you're not supposed to say that when you're in the movie. You're not supposed to be like, oh, it was fucking good as hell. But it rocks, guys. You're going to like it. I saw it with my mom, dude. Did I told you that? My mom watched it. Yes.

She went to the premiere. Did you meet my mom? I met your mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great lady. Great vibes, honestly. I need to meet your mom now. Dude, absolutely.

We should, yeah. We should set up mom plate dates. Yeah, yeah. I legit think they would get along. I got your mom's vibe. I was like, whoa. Yes, she's awesome. Your sister was there.

It's a family affair. Yeah, it was awesome. No, we had a lot of fun making the movie. The movie was, yeah. That's a thing. You can see that. It is the only time. Like, I feel like, look, obviously I don't know shit about I've just started acting. You're a little baby who's only done a couple movies. So we don't really have, yeah, yeah. We don't have like the experience for this shit. But I feel like every time I see somebody promote a movie, they're like, we're just the, we were all friends. And it was so fun. And you know half the time they hated each other. You know what I mean? That they can't even be in the same room.

Yeah, barely talked to you. Barely. But we, our movie had a problem because we would sometimes play Mario Kart too long when we were supposed to go back and shoot. We were late to set. We were late to set because we were across the street in a different house hanging out. So when did you got there when we were all like in the restaurant? Exactly. So we were basically staying in a, we all shared a green room.

Yeah, we were just chilling. Across the street. Yes. And Reese, my good friend Reese, who was with us for the entirety of. I know. Rees gives a star turn, folks. You'll see him. Look at, when you watch the movie, look out for the man with the best hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Reese. That's the only clue we're going to give you. Look at it. When you see a man and you're like, why the fuck does his hair look like that? That's Reese. Dead giveaway. But he's awesome. He's the man. Shocking. And he, yeah.

You sent him on a, on a very important mission to get a TV. Incredibly important mission. And that was the day we were shooting the Clems. lamb bacon. It really boosted the morale. It was when we got there, I was like, this, it was hot as far. Remember it was like the hottest day. There's no sun. It was my first day shooting. Yeah. We hadn't done any of the kitchen stuff yet. I was like, damn, this, everybody was kind of pissed. It felt like. What was the, did they give you like any, because you were obviously making all these lobster rolls. Yeah. You have any sort of instruction? I had, I had two, I had one day of training. Yeah. How was that? With our food coordinator. She was awesome. Yeah.

She was the best, and she would also make us, I ate so much lobster. And then sometimes you would just be like, hey, can you make me some more lobster for lunch? We could sneak over to her. Leo, Leo was getting buttered lobster every day for lunch. Yeah, they were hooking it up. Yeah, they really were. It was the best. I will say, like, being fat as hell in one of my first big movies being a ordained movie,

I'm so spoiled. Because now I just did a movie where it's like about country music. I'm like, this fucking sucks. Oh, really? Well, no, the movie's awesome, but I was like, where are the lobster? Yeah, yeah. Where's the oysters? There's no all you can eat.

There's no all you can eat. I mean, look, it was cool. I got to meet some fucking country music stars, but I would, no disrespect to them. Yeah. I mean, people ask me a lot, like, what was the best eating I did, like in Cape Cod? Yeah. And I would say on set. Totally.

It's just like, I mean, we had fresh lobster, fresh oysters, fresh fish every totally fucking day. It was amazing. And everyone was so, like, you can't have shitty food on a Bordane movie. Yeah. If you, if our food looked like shit, that would have been, like, we could have been bad at it. It's the one thing we'd eat it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We could have blown it, but like if the food looks like shit, like, don't do the movie. So they were, it was, they really cared about that. And we were. Spend more money on the food, probably. Dude, I've said this, I've said this a hundred times. They definitely spent more money on lobster I consumed than what they paid me. It's not even close. I was straight up, remember how many lobsters I was taken down?

I mean, what does a lobster go for it? Like a pound of lobster? Yeah, Elders, do a little fucking, do a little market research. Yeah, let's do some math. Come on, man. Yeah, let's actually do some math. We were in the kitchen, what, for like two weeks? We were shooting in there?

Yeah, yeah, two weeks. Okay, two weeks. So, 10 days of shooting. 10 days total. Let's say I average six lobsters a day, which actually is low. Yeah, that's a generous average. That's really conservative. That's insanely conservative.

We're looking at a retail in the range of 14 to 25 per pound at local fish market. So let's, how much, how much is a, what, one lobster is what, half a pound, would you say? A big ass lobster? I mean, maybe we should do it by the lobster roll. Right, right. Ooh, great point. What does a market price lobster roll go for, eldest? And quick, hurry up!

This is a lot. This is alive, dude, right? 25 to 40 is it. Wow. Okay, so let's say I had eight lobster rolls a day, which feels right. Yeah, yeah. Which honestly legitimately does not feel. Because also, it was also funny because every time between takes you're like, all right, reset.

And I was like, we're going to need new lobster. I ate the lobster roll I just made. So let's say they're 30 bucks, $240 a day. $2.40 a day. That's honestly, yeah. Yeah. And that's so conservative. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean. Three grand. And at least I put down on a lot of rolls. You got paid $300. Yeah. Yeah, I had to sleep at the foot of Matt's bed. They didn't put me up. It was funny, though, because I was like, did you get to have some time?

Like, because we shot actually in Peatown, Cape Cod. Did you get any time to, like, hit the beach, do any of that shit? Did you get any tourism time? A little bit, yeah. Well, the first night that me, Leo and Amelia were there, we're all staying in the same hotel. Oh, that's sick. and Leo, you know, he's just, he's like, he's a, he's a social butter. He's the man.

Yeah, yeah. He's a people person. So he had made friends, just walking down the street. Incredible. Within the first two hours with like all of these restaurant owners and bar owners. Yeah. And he was like taking us out the first, first night. And then Matt joined us.

And we kind of, yeah, I guess showcased ourselves. Beautiful. To the town. Oh, true. Because people are probably pumped. You're there. They were so happy. We were there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were meeting them, and they were excited. They were so stoked about the movie. Yeah. Dude, we got to play this. It was awesome to, like, rap and then just run into the ocean. Yeah. Because it was super hot.

I mean, we were there summertime. And you, and what sucked is we all wrapped, and then you had one day where it was just you, right? Dude, I feel like I had so funny. So many days. Before you got there, too, where I was just like, I'm all by myself. Yeah. Totally.

You're right. Because this movie, you're, it's you. I mean, you're in every part of the movie. And so there must have been times where they're just shooting your face close as fuck for a whole day with nobody around. Just Matt talking to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was not, like, thank God we had Matt.

Truly. He's like, I don't know, he was just with us all the time. 100% kept the morale going. Dude, he's fun. He's like, the way he directs is so sick because it's like, he just explains everything so well. And he just, every note he gives you, he directly, it's for a reason that he explains immediately.

Like, you know exactly what, what you're trying to achieve. Right. And there's no, like, guessing. I don't know. I don't know if you ever worked with me. I mean, I haven't worked that many motherfuckers, but it's like, I do feel like some directors, of course. Kind of, they love being like the little king of their dog.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? And just like, yeah, they want to sound like they have some sort of like breakthrough idea. Right. And it holds everything up because they're trying to, like, be smart. Yes, yes. Totally, totally.

But with Matt, like, even if, even if, you don't, doesn't know you that well or like you're just there for the day. Totally. He, you feel like he's your friend. You don't, you don't feel, uh,

nervous. I don't know, I don't know how it's like, I don't know how it's like, I know what you mean, like acting in front of him. Totally. He ingrate,

and he, the best note he gave was like, because he asked you to do so much dumb bullshit. Like, that feels embarrassing. You know what I mean? Like in the moment, right?

Remember that day where I just had to roast you? Yeah, yeah, I just met you. And I was like, I don't know. I would, honestly,

I was like, I was hoping you were going to be a piece of shit. I was like, this little asshole, this guy gets, the first movie he makes is awesome. He's with Giomati being the man. What the, I don't know, prep school? Fuck this kid. And then he's handsome. He gets every. And then I met you.

I was like, fuck, he's awesome. I don't want to make fun of him. And then immediately Matt's like, all right, no script. Go ahead and just roast Dom for 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah. Silent. Nobody's allowed to laugh because it's a movie. It doesn't make sense.

If you hear the crew laughing. And all I got was Matt like snickering with his little iPad. He would lay on all those kitchen scenes for everybody listening. Matt was literally laying on the ground, hiding under a steel. And every scene that we're in the kitchen, Matt is like laying tummy time, giving himself tummy time looking at his iPad and directing us. And all I had, all I got was Matt occasionally. If I had a really good one, he would be like, ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But because before that, he was like, he was like, look, this is going to feel dumb as hell. But I will never make you look, I will do my best to make you look like a genius. Like, I'm never going to hang you out to dry. And he did. And he never did, dude. He never did. He's like, I feel like he casts people that he knows already going into it.

Like, he doesn't really have to work too hard. Yeah. Get what he needs out of them, you know? Yeah. And I wonder if it's because, like, all that Nirvana, the band, the show. shit. He basically created, he basically would cast insane people off the street to make the show. And he would just, I bet that motherfucker was like, how did you even meet him in the first place? We just met because he was like, there was, he was working on a different project.

Like I liked, I was a fan of his. I guess he was a fan of mine. And, and we just met about something, like a movie that I don't know if it's still in development or if like whatever. And it sounded cool. And more than that, I was like, I really liked this. Like, I was like, I was like, Like, this guy's awesome. And I had seen, I had, me and elders, we lived, I moved to, we moved to, we moved in together in a story like 12 years ago at this point. Yeah. And that was the height of vice, right?

Right. And look, you're, this is our generational difference. When I was your age, it was like, the millennial vice. That was the coolest. We were like, dude, vice is awesome. It's not used like for old people. Sometimes the guys that do news, they smoke weed, you know? And I remember being like, whoa, dude.

And then and then Vice, it was, you could tell when the, when the fucking channel was failing, because then every other show was like. What happened to Vice? Dude, I don't exactly. Actually, isn't Matt literally making a movie about Vice right now? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, fuck him. We're plugging his next project.

Fuck that movie. Tony. Yeah, yeah. That's the only one. We're not in Matt's next movie. So don't watch that one. Watch only the ones we're in. Right.

But it was like that channel started falling apart because every other show was just green. screen or about smoking weed. Like it was like smoking weed at the library. Like smoking weed, smoking weed and going shopping with two chains. It's like, all right, guys. This isn't fucking, yeah, yeah. This isn't real entertainment. Yeah, I guess I remember like the sort of, yeah, the end of that when it was all of the

shit was on YouTube. Totally. And it was, yeah, it was exactly that sort of thing. And look, the best, I loved Action Brons, the fuck that's delicious was so awesome. And like, literally, I feel like Action Bronson does. everything he's done, I'm like, fuck, dude, that's what I wanted to do. But he just got to it seven years earlier. And he's just me, but cooler.

Like, musician is so much cooler than a comedian. Comedian's pathetic. Rapper with a fucking tattoos. I always think about that, like, being a musician, like, being a rock star. I don't know, like, I mean. Coolest shit in the world. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, making, uh. Even acting. Like, acting is fun. But it's embarrassing. Like, yeah. We're theater kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, we literally,

different people write stuff. Yeah. And we're like, all right, I got to say these words. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can pretend to be cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Your job for this movie is to pretend

to be the coolest guy ever. That's like, that's like a challenge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The job is so like, and then you match the best director, but most of the time it's like, did I do a good job, daddy? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You want me to do it again, sir? Yeah, yeah. So it's literally demeaning as fun. You're afraid, yeah. Yeah, you're afraid to ask for to try it again. Totally, yeah, yeah, exactly. You don't want to ask for anything. But yeah, yeah, yeah, why not just cast a real life cool person?

Totally. To hire this person whose job it is to pretend to be cool. Because they would be like, they would be like, oh fuck, I think I cut myself on the fucking, this is a real knife, folks. I barely stopped before it broke. Oh, yeah, a little blood here. We don't have first date in the office We do have first day

You're fucking idiot No thanks to you You're supposed to be Managing everything God forbid you fucking You don't even know I bought one dumbass All right It's good we have one then

Fuck What were we talking about Before I cut my mom on the knife It was something I had a point to make too Fuck Elders Did you were you paying attention Producer of the podcast

Uh I don't know No no guess Yeah, just give us something to go out. Coolest guy. Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You actually helped me. No thanks to yourself. But because of an actual cool person, they would be like, okay, they would show up the first day. And they would have maybe they would have a good time. And then the next day they'd be like, all right, see you at 7 a.m. And he'd be like, no. And then he'd smoke cigarettes, do drugs and like. That's why you have to get active.

You can't get actual cool people. Yeah. Except sometimes. I mean, the Saturdays do a good job about. it, the street casting. Jen Vendetti, who casts all their stuff, they do an awesome job. But you got to have a mix. Yeah.

Like being a rock star, though, it's like, that seems so awesome. Do you have any musical talent whatsoever? No. No. But I feel like, I don't know. Yeah. Today you can just kind of pretend. Totally.

Totally, dude. Should I start a, right an album? That would be awesome. No, you can't now because you're already an actor. Yeah. If you weren't. I have to wait for this to start, like, going sour. No, no, because that's pathetic.

When a failed actor, it's like, check out my band. Yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, it's like, check out the fucking music. And they all, I mean, I mean, yeah, when they're like, don't ask me about movies, ask me about my band, it's like, all right, man. All right. I remember Bruce Willis had a band for a while. Nobody cares about your fucking band.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't want to see you play harmonica, Bruce. We want to see you be the cool. Tell us about diehard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoot some guys that throw them off a roof. Yeah, dude, sorry, you missed your mark. But you could have, honestly, if it wasn't for acting, man, you could have been an industry

plant for sure. What does that mean? It just means, like, they pick, somebody pick someone and it makes them a star. Like, what's, what somebody like who? Like, like, they see like, like, like, an executive, like, like, like, it doesn't happen so much anymore. I mean, I guess it still happens. Now they have to hide it.

But like, wait, like, what would they, what would they choose you based on? Just being a piece of ass. Yeah. So they would see you, they would put you in a leather jacket and sunglasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'd be like, just lip sync. Or they'd give you a guitar and be like, don't worry, the guy backstage is actually playing it. You know what I mean?

Or they'd let you, like, have the, just the easiest drumming of all. They'd figure something out there. Right, right. You know, you could have been plucked. If they hadn't gotten you for holdovers, they could have gotten you for being a fake musician. But, dude, I would always be like, damn, dude, being a fucking singer would be so sick. playing guitar or rapping. Yeah.

That's like, yeah. And that's a real problem. Also being like a pro athlete. Oh, dude, that's, yeah. That's peak. That's the, but that's the opposite of like, you basically put every awesome moment of your life into like 10 years. Right.

You know, because like 22 to like 34 as a pro athlete is the best shit in the world. I can do this for a while. Exactly. Yeah. You can do this for the rest of your fucking life, dude. Right, right. Yeah. Have you ever thought, yeah, I mean, you're still, you're still, you're still in.

like young fucking ingenue territory, but you could, yeah. Would you ever, what's the, do you, you ever want to be a body transformation guy, dude? You want to get, you want to get fattish shit for a role? Yeah, I would. That would be fun. Hire me as your consultant.

Yeah, yeah. If you ever, if you, if you, if you have to put on 40 pounds for roll, and I don't immediately get a phone call, lose my number, bro. I have, I have Marvel paying you. Yeah, they cast you as like, the blob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're paying you to take me.

out to fucking eat. I would be so good in that job. Honestly, if any studio out there wants me to fatten up a star, go to me, I'll do it cheap.

And listen, how about we, put me in the movie, I'll do it for a free. How about that? Fuck, yeah, exactly. Yeah, high calories, low quantity.

Yeah, I wake you up in the middle the night, just put a milkshake in your mouth. I just fucking, I put a beer ball in your mouth. I'm like, I'm just putting cookies and cream.

You just got a button with tubes on the, in the movie, Banderas wakes you up with fucking water. I just wake you up with pudding. I'm like, eat your way through it, pal. Each morning starts with 2,000 calories of tapioca pudding. Chocolate. Yeah, pure chocolate. I do think it would be hard to get you to gain weight, though, because you fucking, your diet is very like, you eat fucking, you know, noodles, you eat tendies. I would have to do liquid calories for you. Yeah. Yeah. What would that consist of?

I mean, honestly, honestly, yeah, milkshakes, sneak a little olive oil in the, sneak a little olive oil in like a cocktail. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you know what? Getting fucked up would be the secret. Yeah, drink a lot of alcohol.

Drink a lot of booze. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is true, that is true. We'll figure it out. We can figure it out. What is like your treat? Like, do you have like a specific meal? Do you have like a,

when you really want to treat yourself? I know we've had some fried chicken together. That's a very decade of meat. We've had some deck of chicken. You know what I like making for myself? Please. Tell me. And it's like if I have friends over to, I'm trying to make a meal, I'll cook a rib eye,

like a thick ass rib eye. Hell yes. And mac and cheese as well. I love that, dude. Joe off camera. Joe makes the same dish pretty well. I love it. The thing is Joe prefers velvita cheese on the side.

Joe, you white trash. Our friend Joe, Dom's manager. here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I'm, I prefer craft. Oh, okay, so you're also white trash. Just a different type of white trash.

Yeah, craft. Okay, yeah, this is you being fucking 23. You're like, where your big meal is crap. You fucking put a rib eye with craft mac and cheese, you fucking dumb ass. It's amazing. It's like, you're getting a $70 cut of meat and a $1.25. That's exactly what it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's, it's, it's like, my whole food's receipt. It's like $2.99 for Kraft Mac and Cheese. It's $78. Honestly, though, I am shitting on you. That does sound good. Dude, when the, like, steak juice, uh, seeps into the Mac. Mm-hmm. The Mac. The Mac. The Mac. The amount you love craft is good, though, because you're growing up. Because I feel like, even like two years ago, you would not have had a rib, you wouldn't have cooked your own rib-eye. No. You know, you would have just had Krafted Mac and cheese and, like, you know, chicken tending.

Chicken nuggets, yeah. Nuggets, not even Henders is a big step up for you. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Next year, you'll actually have some artisan. I like what you're saying. Maybe I'll get rice going.

Rice is. Yeah. Some rice peel off. Yeah, all right, a little pilaf for you. I feel like that's a, that's like an upgrade from Kraft mac. I think it. Or we get, listen, we don't got to go away from mac and cheese, Dom. We'll get artisan cheeses.

We'll fucking mix a couple different types. In fact, we'll, in fact, actually, when all, when I'm done with my shit, like when I'm done with like, because the special comes out in September, which, which Matt directed, when I'm done doing press for that, we will get, we will, we will, we will make the most upgraded mac and cheese of your life, you know? And we also have to dabble in like, I think we need to get some soul food mac and cheese in your life too, you know? Yeah, we got it, we got it, we got to expand. This is how we're going to expand your culinary horizons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We start with, we're going to, we're going to have you sample four different types of mac and cheese. You know, we got it. We got to, we're going to expand. We're going to have you sample four different types of mac and cheese. We're Okay, I'm liking this a lot. What about a potato with the ribby? See, like, I don't really... Not a starch. I'm not been, like, a big potato. Like, I've just started to kind of like mashed potatoes.

But one time when I was little, I had mashed potatoes with, like, melted cheese on it. Oh, okay. And it made me puke. So I kind of, like, since then, I've had a lot of time. I had the same shit with strawberry... I had strawberry like milk, you know, they had like strawberry yahoos. Yeah, yeah. As a child, I remember it was like my, it was my Christmas party for third grade.

Yes. And I was, and I was just like, gong, gong, gong, I was crushing it, dude. No other, all the other kids, I think it was something where I got there late and all the chocolate milk was on and nobody wanted. Right. You can have strawberry, if you have chocolate milk, you're not taking strawberry. Yeah, yeah. So, dude, I was, I chugged like five little cartons of strawberry milk.

Yeah. And seven seconds later, and it was like, it was our christmas milk. party and it was like and they were like gifts strewn about like everywhere and I was just like and I was just pink exorcist vomiting all over and I ruined like our third grade Christmas party and and ever since those days like to this day. Strawberry. Seeing you and I love you who's or actually was Strawberry Nestquick. Seeing, seeing Strawberry Nestquick to this day makes me sing.

Youhoo is really fucking. I fucking love you. Elders were you in that? Were you? Me and Els of No. since kindergarten. Were you in Miss Bs? Actually,

it was first grade. Do you guys were in kindergarten again? Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's insane. I've known out just 30,

I've known how this literally 10 years more than you've been alive. Whoa. That's fucking socks, man. Yeah, we're old, we're washed.

Yeah, for sure. Were you in Miss Bs guys? In first grade. Yes. Yes, I will. Do you remember that? that was the class maybe maybe a little okay

I just remember I got bullied really bad there for a couple weeks until I snitched on the kid oh yeah for what I like raised my middle finger in class accidentally oh remember that fucking kid that always like boogers on his shirt I'm sure he's probably abused somehow

you want to talk about white trash oh yeah he loved the craft mac and cheese yeah that kid has the same mac and cheese paste as you what was the school called it was called John Ruron Elementary. John Rura. Yeah, yeah. Shout out to John Rura. And of course, everyone claims he haunted the halls. Yeah. He was like a doctor or some shit. And that's what we were told anyway. So wait, you were, they were trying to get you to snitch. No, I raised my middle finger in class. And he looked at me and I realized what I did. I was like, oh. And then he like saw my distress. Oh, and he passed. And then he was like, I'm going to tell. I got all these sick ass pencils for a couple weeks that he made me give all of them to him.

Eventually I had a snitch on. You let him fucking shake you down, dude. I got shook down. And Eldis was literally a recent refugee from Albania. He came to America for a better life. I was literally in Esol at the time. Yeah, he actually couldn't speak English at the time. So this piece of fucking white trash just found him.

It was like, just was like, oh, nice. You want a piece of the American dream pal? Yeah. Give me those. Get the fuck. Give me those transformers pencils. Those are mine now. Or you're, I'm telling.

Wow. You ever heard of taxes? Yeah. Yeah, you got taxed big time. I'm sure his life is terrible. Oh, yeah. I pray. No, no, don't pray on it.

I mean, everyone we went to school with it was like, so everyone's life is bad. Like, I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think from our first, I think literally just me, you and. Are the people, or fuck, bleep it out. Me, you and the mysterious and elusive big pee. Our other friend we've known forever. I think maybe it was only us that have good lives from our first grade class. It was, yeah, Baltimore in the 90s was not great, but, you know, we made, look, we made it out. We're podcasting now, and that's what's important.

Okay. Were you ever, do you remember the first time you ever got in trouble? Did you get in trouble in school for anything? Yeah, the first time I, like, really got in trouble. I'm trying to think, like, when I was, like younger. Yeah. When I was in, like, high school. Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, yeah. The one that, like, the one that I could think of is when I was in high school. My first year at boarding school, we were like, we were experimenting with drinking like over-the-counter cough syrup. Robo-tripping? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like drinking like a whole thing of robocussing. And we like went on these fucking like mall trips. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there was a CVS at the mall. Hell, yeah. And that was like our. Time to re-up. Yeah, but we weren't even old enough to buy. We weren't even 18 yet. We had to steal fucking robinthussing from the CVS. That's so funny.

And then like, I don't know. I think we, you know, they do like random room searches. Oh, yeah, of course. And then in my friend's room, they found like eight bottles of fun. Oh, my God. Of Tusson? Yeah, of Tussing. And we got, fuck.

That's so funny. My friends got like, I mean, a couple kids got kicked out of school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I survived, though. Because I was well liked. I was well liked. Right, right. So I was able to kind of like work it out.

Yeah, of course, of course. Do some politicking. Dude, I had to politics so hard. I bet the kid, because usually the kid who holds on to it is also the kid that's probably been in trouble the most. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why he got lost. I'm sure you were actually like, I can't see you being a big troublemaker as a youth.

Am I wrong about that? Were you like, you reserved? Like, yeah, I was pretty reserved. I feel like I, I mean, no, I definitely got in, like, a good amount of trouble, though. Like, I was not, uh, I was well behaved in school, you know? Right, right. But I felt like because I was in boarding school. Yeah.

You're in this environment for like nine months. Of course. And then when I was home for summer, I would do like. And you're what? When did you start doing that? You're 13, 14? I was like, that's fucking insane. You must have been pissed.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a tough. That's a tough time to have a roommate. Dude, we, yeah. You got, those are prime people. leading off years.

Yeah, yeah. Another 14-year-old dude? No, the school I was at, we all had single. Oh, that's huge. Which was awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you still couldn't, like, you had to, like, if you wanted to hang out with a girl, you had to, like, break the rules.

Of course. Like, that, like, that was, for me, like, that was my version of, like, being. That's your oppression. Yeah, like, being bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, hanging out with a girl without telling, like, my dorm parent. Of course, of course. You know?

Dude, that. Did they just send you there? Were you like a little prick? Or were they just like, we got to get him out of the house? Well, I wanted to like, I don't know. Like, I wanted to go to a good college. Like, I don't know. Like, I had this idea in my mind when I was really young that if I just like did like

the hardest things possible, that I would be like rich one day. Yeah. Like I don't know. Like that's like I kind of just like walked around in life. and like I looked at my parents and I was like, I hated like how satisfied they were and just like how like, you know, like they were just like chill. Like I don't know.

That's so funny to have to be like, my parents are too content with life. Yeah, yeah. Like they're too happy. Pisses me off. Everybody's around me is happy. You're a little broody. Yeah, yeah.

That's so funny. Yeah. And I don't know. Like I guess just like from watching movies and shit or whatever it was like I like, I wanted to be like, I don't know. I wanted like some crazy life. And I just told myself, like, if I, like, work really hard in school, go to, like, a good college, that's, like, somehow something will, like, lead to, huh, something will work out. That's fascinating. I'm trying to think, like, when I never, yeah, I'm trying to think, like, that's an interesting ambition to have as, like, a little kid to be, like, I have to do all. I guess I kind of did that, too, because my family, I had the immigrant shit where it was, like, you have to do it.

Like, my parents were like, hey, we need you to fucking do well. We're fucked if you don't. Yeah. But it's interesting because you also, because you grew up on the beat, right? You grew up in Jersey. Yeah, I grew up in Ocean City. Yeah. Which is a bizarre place to grow up also. Yeah, it's like there's not a lot of kids.

Why were you guys living there? Your parents, like work there? I mean, yeah, like, I guess like both of my parents are from New Jersey. Oh, okay. And like my grandparents live there. Gotcha, gotcha, got you. So just fucking move there. Yeah, I don't know.

But Ocean City is fucking crazy. You know what I? It is a tourist, because I know Ocean City. Maryland. Dude, yeah. It's a tourist place for sure. So boardwalks and shit like that. Yeah, like most of my friends from high school from Ocean City, like aren't from Ocean City. They're from like Philly, like other places like Pennsylvania. Gotcha, gotcha. They have, their families have like beach houses. I see, I see. But you lived there. So your, your friends with like, that was their like part time like beach house zone and you actually just

live there the whole time. Yeah, exactly. And maybe that was something too. Like I was constantly comparing to these fucking rich kids who's like, you know, their families have these giant houses and shit. Was that kind of the vibe a little bit where it was like your family was like kind of like like on the line of it of like you're hanging, you're in these circles and you're going to boarding school, but like it sounds like it was a little tougher for your family than the other people. Well, I feel like I guess like specifically in school like I didn't have a like I had to get a like scholarship basically financially, which is. a little bit different than how it works in college.

Like, these schools don't have as much of, like, an allocation to give money, you know. So, like, it's a lot harder to kind of get that. Did you have to, like, was it? Because I also, my... And I wasn't, like, and I wasn't, like, good at anything. So, like, that was, that was the problem. That's so interesting. It's so funny because when I was in fifth grade, I grew up in Baltimore, like I said, Baltimore in the 90s, and public schools were,

pretty bad there. And so I did apply to a lot of these like really exclusive. Like, we didn't have boarding schools. We had like private schools that at the time, we're talking when I was 11, so we're talking over 20 years ago, 25 years ago. Jesus fucking Christ, that's, I'm having a lot of realizations. That's a quarter of a sense. That sucks. Shut the fuck up. Don't tell. I know how long it is, Dom. But we, I mean, at the time, 13 grand a year. Yeah. 25 years ago, to go to middle school, right?

Insane. And I applied, and I thought, my identity as a little kid was I was just, because we went to this school where, you know, the impoverished were bullying refugees. Like, it was not, it was the Wild West.

Yeah, it was not a good school. And I was pretty smart. Like, they literally, remember eldest, we had the gifted and talented program where it was literally like, gifted and talent. It was like a small, it was next,

it was like next to the administration. administrative offices. And it was like a room that housed like nine kids. And they were like, all right, you guys might make it. And so it was like me, eldest, mysterious and elusive big P. Oh, you guys were both. Dude, yeah, yeah. They, they, exactly. They saw us. They were like, as soon as they taught Eldis English, they were like, oh, yeah. I remember when they did that shit in like fourth and fifth grade and you would just, you would just feel so. I felt superior. I wasn't in. I wasn't So, like, you would watch, like, the two kids in your class, like, stand up and be like, all right, we have to go down.

Okay. Time to. Yeah. Okay. And then you just sit there and you feel like a dumb ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, everyone, we're going to take the children with potential out of the room now. Now that we've all had.

They're not, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that we've all read a story or something. They're three hours a day away from all of you. Dude, exactly. Oh, dude. And I, from the flip side, when we got the, when, because that's exactly how it went, you would go to your class for like the beginning of the day. And there was some, I don't remember elementary school now, some warm up, some bullshit like that.

And there was a moment where they call you up. And it was like, getting up to go to gate, I was, I felt like the man. I was like, all right. See you bozos later. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Did you get like like national honor society? Yeah, yeah.

In the middle school. Yeah, I care. And I didn't care about learning. I just liked the attention. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. I didn't realize until very late. later in life, I was like, oh, I only had good grades because, like, that I couldn't get last.

I think about that a lot. Yeah, like, I think back to the good grades I got and I'm like, I feel like I should have, I should remember something. Yeah, right, right, right, dude. I can't do algebra. I really, I really did just like study to get the grade and forgot about all of it. A hundred percent. But, but also that's life. Nobody knows anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. have a problem they have to solve for like a week or two. You solve it, then you keep it pushing. But, but thank you, man. I'm wise. I'm wise as fuck. Yeah. But, but it's 11 years. Yeah. And so I remember being like, so I went to these like exclusive schools and I interviewed and I did all this shit. And then I got in, but they wouldn't give me a scholarship. Right. And there's no way we could afford it. And my mom, I remember my mom like came and she was like,

She already was working two jobs. She was like, I'll pick up more shifts as a wait. I was like, you don't have to do this. And then the way I coped with it is I made on N64, WWWE No Mercy. And I created a version of the guy, the like guy who interviewed me from that school. It was called, it was the Gilman School in Baltimore. Yeah, the Gilman school.

Yeah, yeah. And I literally just, and in No Mercy, I made the guy who interviewed me. And I just like, just beat the fuck out of him in a wrestling game. I picked like, where did you guys like hang out in the summer? The summer was like we, well, sometimes we would go to, I mean, every other year my family would go to Greece, which was awesome. But we were just hanging out like, I was at my, I was in. Would there be like the group of kids with the fucking, with like their Gilman hoodie?

Oh, yeah. No, listen, that was the, I didn't go to that. And it's the best thing that ever happened to me because I, I would have become like a little, Like, I would have been the poor, I was so, I would have been so much poor. Right. Than all those kids. Yeah, yeah. I would have tried to fit into people that now I hate.

Right, right, right. I'm afraid I would have, like, become like a, like, I would have become like a fucking banker or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I would have been the worst guy of all the, I've been some fat guy with plugs. Yeah. With hair plugs that works at a bank in Baltimore right now. I would have the worst life and be like, isn't it, you know what? You know, I just think we need, look, I just think we don't need to talk.

talk about all this. I don't, it's nobody's business who's gay or not, but just keep it away for me. I would have been one of those guys. Like, I would have been just such a piece of shit. It's like, no, I'm just, I'm just like lower taxes. Yeah. I'm racist. You know what I mean? Like, I would have been a piece of shit if I went to that school. I'm so my life. And also, dude, I went to Baltimore City Public Schools. You had to be funny. Like, those kids were fucking. It was like, the funniest people I will ever meet were like just like kids in seventh grade that I went to school with. Did you guys have a rival school?

We had the, so in Baltimore, there were two good high schools. Yeah. There was Polly and City, like public schools anyway. And yeah, that was theoretically our rival school, but it was like,

there were no. There was no bad blood. No, yeah, it was just like, again, it was kind of like the gate program writ large where they were like, all right, these two schools, these kids might do something. Right, right.

And every other Baltimore City public school was like, like my, they called them your zone school. Right. You know, kids were fucking, And my brothers, my brothers didn't go to my middle school. They went to like, still a, like, you know, it was called the ingenuity project at the time.

But it was just a shittier version of the one I went to. And like, the first day my brother went to school, a kid was like, he was like, hey, yo, I like your pants. Give me them. And my brother just had to run. He just like, huh? And he just fucking booked it. And the first day somebody tried to steal my brother's pants.

And that was the third best public middle school in Baltimore. A kid got stabbed for his charades art in that school. Fuck. So it was like, there was, that was, that's where the, there was more, it was like inter school rivalry, not, or intra, not intra, whatever, whichever one of those that means. You ever see like a lot of kids get stabbed and shit? I never saw, I did not see stabbing. I saw a lot of kids get the fuck beat out of them.

Yeah. But, but, you know, that was, it was more just the verbal, it was just getting good at wrote, I didn't realize they were preparing me to be a roast comedian. Like, they were preparing me to be good at crowd work. Yeah. Because that was, that's what the lunchroom was. It was like, you better, you better find someone to make fun of if you're that white guy. Yeah. At, in Baltimore City Public Schools, like, you better find somebody. I felt like it was pretty easy in my school to make people laugh because it was so, uh, I don't know, like the, it was a pretty, like, controlled environment. And, like, everybody was pretty well-behaved.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just kind of doing something that was a little bit risky or dangerous was, like, could draw attention immediately. Right. You know? And I'm sure it was, like, the one, as much as annoying as it is to be, like, sent away and have to feel like, it's got to feel sort of, like, really nice jail on some level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was nice, like, being away from, like, parents kind of in a way. Like, like, you had a sense of responsibility where, you know, you know.

you didn't have to, like, you could, you could actually, like, mess up and, and deal with that on your own. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Being yelled at. Totally. Because it's illegal for your teachers to, like, like, you know, curse at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you'd be a little piece of shit. Yeah. And also, you're there with, like, all boys sucks, but it's also, you were gross.

We had girls. Oh, you did have girls. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it was like an actor. Yeah, yeah. It was co-ed. Huh. That's insane. Yeah.

But, uh. But most of your time in the dorms and shit, you're with the, with the, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was great, actually. Like, I, but when I went to film the holdovers, my senior year, my room was connected to my best friend's room.

Oh, hell, yeah. And he was like, is it okay if I, like, use your room for some more space? Hilarious. And when I came back, like, my bed was gone. It was like, there was like four, like, plug-in griddles. And, like, yeah. That's so funny. Like a mini fridge with like eggs, bacon.

Oh my. This man fucking made a little diner in your bedroom. Like four TVs. Respect. This guy sounds awesome. We had double stack couches. So it was like movie theaters. Hell yeah, dude.

Yeah. It was awesome. You must have gone. I mean, I mean, boarding school, though, there must have been some like legitimately evil people. Like you must have been like, you know, last mates that were like, you know, made money off of genocide. Oh, yeah.

It's just like oil people. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's tough. When you think about, like, who was like who you're brushing your teeth next to. I bet if you looked up some of the motherfuckers you graduated with right now, it's like, oh, they're the people destroying the world.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're next up. How's the food at boarding school? Pretty good, I assume, right? Dude, yeah, sometimes better than, I mean, I felt bad for a lot of the people that worked in the dining hall because, like, they would. try and make like really nice things, but the only time the kids got excited was when they made like chicken 10. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like buffalo chicken balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't want Lopper Thermador. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like shrimp scampy and we're like, fuck.

Boom. I want fucking chicken and ranch. Get me McRibs. Can you bring in some McRibs and salt serve ice cream? That's what we, we did like my senior year. I guess like we can, I I mean, nobody's going to fucking, can't get in trouble now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Let me tell you right now, you don't have to worry about your headmaster anymore. But senior year, we, when I came back from shooting that movie, I had a car with me. And I was like, I don't have time to go all the way home. I have to bring my car back to school. Yeah, yeah. It's like, otherwise you needed some, like, crazy exemption. The only other kid who had a car on campus, he had cancer. And he had that go.

Right, right, right, right. You know, like he needed to go. Of course. But you needed that fucking car. Of course, of course. But I was able to bring it back. And they were like, you just can't drive it. You have to turn in the key to like the grounds people.

Yeah, yeah. But I had an extra key that I kept for myself, obviously. Yeah, yeah. And me and my best friend in high school, he made like a fake. Snapchat account and we decided we were going to go sell like fast food to the campus. And yeah, we started with Chick-fil-A because like you could doored out. You could Uber eats, McDonald's, I think, a few other places. But Chick-fil-A was like, these kids, they have had it in months, you know. We've been there for all the winter. Yes. It's the longest term.

Yes. So we knew this was like an untapped. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So he made this account and we had, I mean, like basically half the school, like probably like 400 orders. Incredible. And immediately? I mean, like, throughout like the weekend. We said like, oh wow, one weekend? Well, throughout the week, I guess I put it up on Wednesday and you like order coming in Friday night. Oh, wow.

So you're doing like catering. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're ordering the big ass kid. Did you get caught or did you pull it all? No. So what we did was we had all the orders in and we, I guess, yeah, we had like $2,000. of Venmo. Incredible.

Because we up charged. I mean, we were charged. We was like, yeah, like 15 bucks for a chicken sandwich. You're selling the son of the, of a guy who works at Raytheon. Yeah,

and we're also, I mean, the risk we're running, too. Of course, yeah. Yeah, there's price, there's cost, man. There's cost associated with this. Exactly.

That's really funny, man. And we drove the car through like the cornfields in the back of the school and then like two and a half hours, Chick-fil-A. That's so funny. Do hours!

Yeah, yeah. And like that guy, The guy, the people there. I thought it was fucking down the street. No, no, no, no. It's like, it's far. You couldn't order it. So the guy.

That's so fucking funny. We go, we order it. And they were like, we're going to have to talk to the chef. And then we, they were like, we need, give us like 20 minutes and the chef will come out and talk. That's so funny. Oh, so you hadn't planned ahead. No, we didn't call them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We went to the register. Yeah, that's, I know what I'd like, $2,000. dollars worth of nuggets, please? Quickly. They were like, what the fuck? And so, yeah. That's hilarious. We were like, all right, we might be screwed. But the guy came out and he had so much energy

and he was so excited to do the order for us. And the people working behind the register were fighting to ring us up because it was like a record for that store. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they took our photo. That's so funny. You get caught.

Yeah, yeah. He's your principal. Yeah. Is that the chick-flah? What the fuck? What the fuck of those two assholes doing on the wall in a chick-fil-A in Jersey? Yeah. Yeah.

But we got them, we picked up the order. It was like four giant catering boxes. Hell yes. Got it back. And I think we both profited like 50 bucks. But you were heroes. Yeah, yeah. Everybody, yeah, that's incredible.

Yeah, I mean, I sold weed in high school. And I remember being like, I remember being like, wow, I probably made like five. I'm like probably five, ten grand going into college. And I never, I never kept track. Anytime I wanted to order food or buy booze or, you know, do anything, go to the movies, I would just take it from my weed thing. And then, let's get, yeah, let's get a nice fresh A&W for the boy. Yeah.

And I remember being like, nice. I'm going to go into college, like, rich, dude. And I had, after a year of selling weed, $200. Like, I would smoke, anytime I wanted weed, I would just smoke my own weed. They never wanted to buy chicken wings or Chinese, where I would just get that. And I just used all the money in me. I didn't save anything.

I was just, it was so funny. I was selling, yeah. Yeah. In my mom's home, like, using her Weight Watchers scale to sell weed. He was,

I mean, yeah, the Ocean City was such a joke sometimes. Like, we were selling, me and my friend were selling fake IDs for one summer. Awesome.

And we sold fake IDs to like a 19 year old cop. Yeah. he's like our friend. What? A cop breaking the law. Yeah, yeah. He was like, he was like our boy. He was like our boy. And that summer he became like a rent-a-cop on the boardwalk.

Awesome. That's so awesome. That's a hilarious job to have his 19. Like, I don't respect anyone who's a rent-a-cop, but a 19-year-old telling me to keep it moving. Right, right. Like, how about you suck my dick your child? I'll do whatever I want. Go get your dad.

Maybe I'll respect him. Dude, that's hilarious. we got to do some calls, but I also, real quick, Giamatti was the man, right? He seems like the fucking man. Honestly, like, yeah, he's the goat. I really think he's the best actor.

Dude, he's such a great actor. I've yet to meet someone to work with someone who I've been like, I don't know, that kind of just taken aback by how cool and humble and talented they are. 100%. Yeah. And I do, my favorite thing about Giamati,

and you don't have to comment on this if you don't want to. is that he was... He's got a... He did a scene in billions where he, like, had hired a, like, a hot dominatrix. Yeah. And then on a red carpet, or, like, at some party,

there was pictures of him with her just hanging out. He, like, spit game to the dominatrix. The hot, the hot actress. And I was like, salute. Yeah, respect. You're just a little fucked up-looking guy and you're getting these hot girls. I was like, you are.

my hero, sir. Yeah, bro. Like, if I could have, like, if I could do, like, 0.1% of the character actor career that Giamati has and then also pull, like, Giomati pulls, dude. Dude, he's, have you ever seen that movie, what's it called, Barney's version, Barney's something? No, I haven't. What's it called?

Can you look it up? I might be misremembering the title of this movie. Just, yeah. It's a Paul Giumati movie. Let's see what I'll just, it's amazing. I'll check it out. Barney's version? Barney's version, yeah.

Just look up Giomati. plays like a badass in this movie. Like he's like cool. That's awesome. I like what, and what's interesting too is like, I love that because it's like, you know,

now, I mean, especially his character in the holdover is like the least cool guy in the world. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that's what I also love about Antonio's career. Like in Spain, his early movies, he plays fucking weirdos and he plays like nerds. Yeah, yeah. What?

It's so weird. Like, these guys are such good actors that you see them and you're like, they can embody anything that they feel like Dude, also like the people that, like all the actors that have Tonyos worked with too, like

It's insane. You watch all of his old movies. It's like crazy. It's insane, dude. The people that are like, he's worked with. Yeah. And he's had an insane career and he's played every type of guy. Yeah.

I mean, we just rewatch Desperado. I just got. Dude, yeah. I just got. Amazing like stunt sequences. Incredible. So fun. Such a great movie.

And like he looks such, he's such a badass in that. Yeah, I just got a nice. You got to see the new apartment. I got a, like, the sick TV, and I'm going, I'm becoming a, I'm becoming a, like, 4K got, like, my favorite movies, I just want to have them in the best resolution. Like, I just want to, I just want to, and I got surround sound. I'm becoming, like, a home theater. Like, I want to be a home theater.

You still have that same TV that you got. It's here now. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was too big for my new apartment. Dude, yeah. Yeah, I had to settle for a 75 inch on TV. I feel like TVs are better.

Joe says they're better than projectors. I think so. I mean, projectors are paying the ass. Like, what's the best projector you can get? I mean, listen, if you get the best projector you can get. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're like, you're really cooking. Yeah. The thing projectors have is that, and I know this because I've been shopping, I've been thinking about gigantic televisions the last two years. When you go over 85 inches, like, when you go over, yeah, 85, like every inch is like $500. So like a hundred, like we got that, the 100th TV, it was like an open box. thing and I got it so cheap, but like a hundred inch, like a really good 100 inch TV costs like $15,000. So like a projector, you get like for a thousand bucks or whatever, even cheaper if you want to. You get a really nice one for a thousand bucks and it could be a hundred fifty. Like, so that's, if you want huge, go projector.

But if you need anything 85 and under, just go TV. They're also, projectors are kind of a pain in the ass to get going. Yeah, I've never, I've not gotten to the stage of my life yet where I can like, not break a TV within six months. So I go for like the $80 rocus. Of course. Yeah, the rocus we sent Reese to buy.

Yeah, yeah, because we didn't have, we needed to buy a separate TV to move from set to set. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I've purchased so many

$200 rocans in my life. Absolutely, dude. I have so many random Roku remotes in my apartment. All right, well, listen, we could talk all day, but we got it. also got to help the people. We need, we need Dom's, you know, this man has so much life experience.

He needs to share it with her with the people. So why don't we hit the visible hotline eldest? And of course, let's remind people, go see Tony. What are you doing? Yeah. We need, me and this is going to be so big for, if you like either one of us, seeing this movie would be huge for both of us. Yeah. This is big for us. This is big for us. with this good, you know, I'm, you know, I want to play a fat bully in every Hollywood movie from now. I want to be the first call when they're like, hmm, we need a fat bully. Let's get Halciss on the line. You know, that's, if this goes well and then Dom, look, this kid's going to be fine either way.

Really, I'm the one who needs it. This kid's going to be a movies for the rest of his life. But if this fucking bombs, I'm fucked, guys, all right? So go see Tony right now. If you're in New York or L.A., and next week, it opens everywhere. And by the way, like, it cuts across. Like I literally saw it with my mom. I saw, they were like little kids at the premiere

who had a good time. It is an awesome movie that... A fun watch. And like we said, Kurt, like Matt's team is so good that they edited this movie. This is like a fun summer hangout movie. Like, there's so many ways to it. And fucking Mike or Bowman or cinematography.

The guy who did one battle after another did this, dude. Literally, yeah, yeah. I wonder if you had more... How did we get that? I don't know. That's the one we're like, what? What? When he told me that was, he was like, Matt was like, that's, because I remember my first day on set, I looked at, I looked in the camera. I was like, what the fuck? I was like, dude, this is insane. And you know, I like, and you know, I like Matt, but. And his shit, they do so much documentary. I mean, Blackberry's cool, looks good. But like, never the round of the band the show is like, it's not, it doesn't look good. It just is, it. Yeah. Well, I think he gave Matt so much freedom, too, to just like, chill with us. Totally. Like, yes. Work with us. Exactly. Mike got to do all the. And I remember being like, dude, how the, what is this? This looks incredible. He's like, that's PTA's guy. He's

I was like, what? I was like, fuck yeah, dude. But it looks awesome. It's a summer hangout movie with a bunch of incredible. The cast is so good. But also, it's edited in a way that's not. Because those movies sometimes, in my experience,

can be a little lackadaisical. It's about the hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This movie, it's under two hours and you're never bored, even though, you know, stuff happens, but it's not like there's set pieces. It's just like, it's just vibes between characters

and you're going to love it, but tell us what you think about. it. Hey, watch the fucking movie or else, you motherfuckers. Eldis, play us some calls, buddy. Hey, Stavi, eldest, and guests.

I'm a huge fan of the podcast. Thank you for everything. Thank you for all the laughs. So, my girlfriend and I have been together for about eight months. I love her to death. She's the best person I've ever met. We have such a great relationship. She is also

absolutely beautiful. She is stunning. She's an 11 out of 10. Okay. She's incredibly nice and one of the smartest people I've ever met. She's also incredibly funny. And I just feel so lucky to be with her.

What's the butt? What's the butt? And with that being said, she is incredibly out of my league. I wouldn't consider myself unattractive. However, I am not to her caliber.

I can believe in yourself. And that honestly made me feel better about myself because, you know, I must be a good enough person to be with her and, you know, she must find me attractive. Did he say how old are you? I don't really, you know, I don't really think about that all that often. You clearly do. It's clearly keeps you up at night.

It's the thing you think about the most in your life without question that haunts you every moment. Anyway, keep going. However, when we go out in public and we interact with, you know, like a server or a bartender or maybe I'm being... Is your disabled brother? Okay. That's what they say when there's a restaurant saying, you know, oh, bro, she's way out of your league. Like, how did someone like you pull her?

Oh, my. They say that to your face? They say that to your face? That is wild disrespect. All right. I see what's going on here. Let's let him finish. I know what's going on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, she could do so much better. And I can take a joke. I don't necessarily take it to heart. Yes, you do. The issue is after eight months of this consistently happening, I do think sometimes like, you know, why is she with me and whatever? What?

It does, you know, after. after it's consistently being told to me, it does kind of, I do think about it more often. So I know this is necessarily not going to change, but how could I maybe go about dealing with this better? Thank you guys. I appreciate it. I love the podcast. This is so funny. Yeah.

This is so awesome. And also, yeah, you have no idea what to say, Dom. You've never had this problem in your life. What do you mean? Everybody says we're both hot when I'm with a model. No one even looks at us. I'm with a woman that people are afraid to stare in the eyes. I'll take this one, Dom.

This literally, this is so clearly a mindset thing. Because I loved. I, dude, when I was, when I, when people, now it's like, I don't know. Now, once you're famous or whatever and your life, people sort of know who you are, it does becoming a like being like notable, being like a notable comedian or whatever, I always say it kind of feels like becoming a hot girl because you get attention, you get so much unwanted attention for men. Right, right, right, right.

You walk the streets and it's like, people are like, you know, like not everybody, but every once in a while, someone like, you feel them lock eyes with you, like, you feel their gaze on the back of your head. And so now, if people seem with a hot woman, they're like, all right, well, he's, now they don't give me credit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, he's fucking rich. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Which also I don't give a fuck. But this was my, when I was broke, this, you know, I don't want to do my own horn. I was, I always always punching above my, my weight class, metaphorically. Clearly not, well, maybe, who knows. But who knows? Not everybody.

Sometimes. But I loved it. I loved getting a glance from a guy. I was like, pissed. Like when I'm walking down the street with a hot girl and I was bald and toothless, people were like, what the fuck? People were mad.

It was the best feeling of my life where I was like, not yet. And I hope you, go do some fucking pull-ups, you piece of shit. I don't need all this to achieve what you can't even get. But your problem so clearly is you don't believe in yourself. Right. Because I know people thought that about me when I was with a hot woman. Nobody said it to my face.

Right. Like I was, because I wasn't acting like I was happy to be there. I wasn't acting like it was a fucking make-a-wish. You know, like you're with your girlfriend. Who loves you? Right, right. Who you've been with for eight months? Yeah.

And you're acting like you want to fucking sweepstakes, bro. I bet you're your body language. It's you're embarrassed. You're sheepish to be around her. You have to believe in yourself. Right. This is an aura problem. Because these guys see you.

And what they're doing is letting her know they would fuck her in front of you. It's not about you at all. That is literally some like this. What's happening is you are quite literally being Al-Fudd in front of your girl. And she really does like you because this is the kind of behavior. If you put up with this too much, it's like that's unattractive. You, you, who you are is not unattractive. She likes you.

Yeah. What could possibly be a problem is you just getting fucking, you constantly being a pushover. Like, they're like, whoa, how did you get her? And you're like, ha, ha, I know. You can't react like, oh, good one, pal. You know what you got to get back. I don't even know what to say because I think the key is what he said. It was like, I don't know why you don't know why this person is with me.

And like, you know, that's, you know, you should be able to come up, think to yourself why. Yes. outside of your physical, you know, disappointment. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, you're not as hot as her. I got news for you. That's a massive compliment. That's a yes.

When a beautiful woman wants, you know what I mean? Like, I never, I never want to feel like, I love when there's a, when the, when the woman I'm is way more attractive than. Of course. That's what you want. Of course, yeah. You're like, oh, no, I've achieved an awesome thing. Yeah, yeah.

And look, here's a, we know how society works. Like, here's the other thing. Let me also take a little sting off this. Unfortunately, life is worse for women. And they do have to, on average, end up with someone that looks worse than them. Right. So that's just reality, bro. That's, we live in, you know, this is a paternalistic society.

That's a problem. We should, you know, take steps to fix it. But right now, we're not changing that within your lifetime. So, uh, A, so really what this comes down to is, yes, she's with you for a fucking reason. This is a self-esteem thing, bro. Why do you, let's even take your girlfriend out of this. Why do you feel this way about yourself?

Like, what is it? And really think about it. And I'm sure there are reasons because, look, sure, I'm talking, I'm talking a big game now, whatever. And I'm at the point of my life now when I was at the point of my life when I was like, 25 where I liked that attention. And I also was pretty come back. I mean, look, I like, I could also, I just, I also knew that I could, if this guy tried to get at me, I knew I could insult anyone better than they could. So I know. It's not the same thing.

I get that. I had something in my back pocket and an anger problem and a chip on my shoulder. So I did like it. And maybe you're just like a, you know, maybe you're not, that's not how you're built.

You don't like confrontation, whatever. And not that I do either. In specific circumstances, I did, but this is not even about your girlfriend. This is about what you think about yourself. You are allowing, you are putting out the energy that says,

come disrespect me in front of my beautiful. beautiful girlfriend, you gotta change that. That's the problem. And so, like, think, like, what's good about you? Be realistic. Are you, like, she's with you for a reason. And stop acting like you want a contest. You start acting like you deserve to be there.

And this is a little tough because this is a nebulous problem. I almost want to talk to this guy. Maybe on a phone call. Honestly, like, and thinking about what were the things that, how did you portray yourself at first with this person? Like, did you kind of give a false, a false image of yourself, right, that you're having a hard time living up to that now. Interesting.

And you're coming to terms with the fact that she's, maybe she fell in love with a persona that you would put on or something that you projected. Right. That's definitely a possibility. Maybe that's the root of his insecurity. But whatever it is, it is based in insecurity. Right. And so figure that out, dude.

And I'm sorry because I, I mean, there's not much we can tell you other than believe in yourself, but you cannot. let that slide. I got to be honest with you. You cannot let people talk to you that way. How are you? A server? A fucking guy who don't know at all? He's at work. He could get in trouble for this. They're not allowed to fucking tell the customers they're ugly. What the fuck is she doing with you? That's this guy was this guy thinks he has you're such a little threat that he's willing to break the rules of his workplace. And and by the way, you're paying the tab. He's like, you know what? I don't need a tip. Right.

I just want this hot girl to know I'd throw away his kid. That's how much they don't respect you. So you have to fix that. And I know that is not good. That is not, I'm not giving you concrete stuff because we need to, I need to know what the root of your insecurity is. Is it in your, look, if you, if,

and it's, and while you're, and you know, this is a two-prong solution, figuring out the roots of your insecurity takes time, right? This is like therapy stuff, is thinking about, but. This was the first conversation, uh, stavorous, ever had. That actually is, oh my God, that's true. In the parking lot, we were talking about that.

Nice to you. I need some advice. Yeah, that is really true. Oh, my God, that's so fucking funny. We immediately started talking about, yes, girl problems. This, dude, you have to fucking leave yourself, you have to do. And look, like I said, macro, work on the root of it. Micro, though, if you really do want to go about it this way, start fucking improving yourself. Eventually, you need to convince yourself, you are enough. But in the meantime, if you want to hit the gym, if you want to dress a little better, if you want to, if you want to, I don't know, literally practice your public speaking so that when these guys mock you, you have some way to get back at them. I don't know what it is in the short term. I've always said for me, like, it really was, I mean, there was

one summer I went to the gym and I just got the confidence of getting into better shape, whatever. I got a girlfriend, immediately got fat as shit. Immediately, like, once I had the girlfriend, I was like, I'm done. I'm done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I learned that's about how do you do that. But I will, that helped me. That and I also, during that relationship, made the decision to do stand-up and was so

much happier than I was when I was in college and trying to have a regular, you know, life, whatever. And those things did it for me and find a version of that for you. I don't know what it is, you know. You said, did he say he has a good job? Do you say anything like that? He was just talking about himself personally. Golfing?

Yeah, golfing's another. Any, honestly, I think any skill is important, right? Golf can suck my dick. Take some cooking class. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Fucking, yeah, get, get. You want, yeah. Take her to see Tony out in theater now.

Take her to have a good, yeah, every, every call we work in. And by the way, go to Tony. But, hey, nice date night. Yeah. Take her out for a nice seafood dinner. That's date night, yeah. And then go see Tony. And if the waiter is, like,

like, whoa, look at this hunched over piece of shit you're with, ma'am. Punch him in the fucking jaw. No, don't do any violence. Don't do any crimes. Also, legally, you don't listen to anything we say that's for pure entertainment. But yeah, dude, you got to believe in yourself.

That is the problem here. That is at the root of this. And I know that's easier said than done, but you can fix this. She's with you for a reason. What else we got, L.D? Stavi, eldest esteemed guest. I'm 24 from the Pacific Northwest.

Basically, just wanted to call in because I'm in a two-year relationship, lovely girl. I plan on marrying her in the future, and she's awesome. And I've got some homies who we used to be friends back in high school pretty darn close. And now I joined the military for a little while and then just came back and we've been reconnecting. but me and them and my girl have all been hanging out together and stuff like that. To preface this, one of them is definitely gay. He used to be by, but I would say he's definitely gay now. I would say I am probably pretty darn straight now.

Okay. Now? I'm back in high school. What's going on with this? Everyone in the crew tries on sexuality, which is cool. No judgment. But it is. You did got to catch us off a guard.

I'm confused about what this is your question. I'm very, I don't know where this is going, and I can't wait to find out. Eldis? I, back in high school, kind of fucked around with this dude

because I was open to the idea. Okay. Nice. You and your moods, maybe putting it in his butt. He put it in mine. You know, just little stuff.

You know what? These are good friends. that's a really good pal I will say eldest that's where that is rarely do I hear about a friend group closer than ours but why he went to the military

yeah yeah yeah exactly get out of his system but even in the throes of desperation when we were just virgins with no way out we've been through a lot together I don't think I could put it in your ass no first of all I would fuck your ass let's get that very clear right now

or vice versa I wouldn't, but if push came to shove, I would fuck your ass. But this is the guy that the same guy that he's referring to. His by-friend was really, he used to hook up with his gay friend. He fucked around with him. Yes, yes. Keep going, I'm interesting. Little stuff.

Anyways, didn't want to knock it until I tried it type thing. Respect. Not really not in it, but just isn't for me kind of thing. Fast forward to the day, we all hang out now again. kind of reconnected and I don't feel like it's a huge weight on my shoulder. I haven't seen it a couple years. Connected and I don't feel like it's a huge weight on my shoulders because, you know, I'm not feeling too fruity these days.

However, I just want to know if I'd be doing my girlfriend a disservice by not telling her just because we're all hanging out again these days. And also she's like pink hair, very liberal. I see you kiss a boy type shit. Oh, interesting. I don't think she would do that mad about it. My one reservation is I don't want her to see him differently or be like, it's weird all hanging out now. I don't know.

She knows he's gay, but doesn't know that I've done all that with him. Anyways, love the show, bro. Yeah, peace. Respect. Well, I don't know, man. Let's put this pink hair to the test. Let's see if that haircut is earned. You know?

Because if she... See her show or stripes. A hundred percent. Because if she... Yeah, if she wants... Literally, the problem might be, she hears about this. This is kind of the reverse of like...

Usually it's... This happens in the reverse. Where like a guy... You know, a girl is by or maybe experimented. Right. And she tells her, you know, straight boyfriend. Right. And he's like, could I fuck both of you?

You know what I mean? Like, usually that... This might be the reverse. Yeah, yeah. If you have kind of like a queer girlfriend or like just an open girlfriend who wants you to be a little gay, and you tell her you used to do gay shit, she might want to watch you suck dick. Right. It sounds like, yeah, it sounds like it's more about, from the ways to describe me, it's more about the tension between the friend group that he's trying to avoid. Yeah.

I think you're fine with the gay thing. For sure. She does not going to give a fuck about that. I don't think so. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. But I don't know.

like trying to put myself in this position. Well, it's like, it's like, it is just like, yeah, if you were hooking up, like, let's say a girl. Right, yeah, that's what I'm trying to think. It's like, would I, would I tell if, and she was my friend and this was a, like, I don't know, I probably wouldn't say anything. I know. It's like, I wonder if the juice is worth the squeeze.

Right, right, right. It's like, uh, I think, well, I don't know. I wonder how, yeah, I wonder how the friend feels too. That's a good point. I wonder what his vibe is. Like, is he wanting to read? I don't know. I don't think. I mean, that's not what I, that's not the vibe I'm getting. Yeah, yeah. I think the, so yes, we have kind of two separate issues here.

One is a kind of classic dilemma, which is do you tell your partner, a lot of people have friends that they maybe used to date or hooked up with or whatever. Now, for me, I'm at the point of my life where the people who I'm friends with that I dated or used to hook up with, that was so long ago. Yeah. It doesn't even feel like the same person anymore. Right, right, right. But when this guy, this kid's 24, he said, and this was high school, when you're, you know,

for you, that was a long time ago. I mean, high school, 24, you went to the army, you've lived a bunch of life. Completely different person. You're a completely different person, completely different life. And also high school and, like, college is like so, you kind of do get a pass for experimenting overall. Right. So it's like, it just, in general, would I tell?

hell my significant others, like, hey, my friend, we used to, like, hook up a little bit. Like, it wasn't serious, whatever. Right. We're totally friends. I don't know if it's the kind of thing you even have to make a big, if it comes up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If she's like, hey, what's it? Like, then you'd be like, oh, yeah, like, we, like, hooked up a couple times.

Because it doesn't sound like you even, it'd be different if you guys straight up dated. Like, if it was your boyfriend for a year or whatever, that's a little different. And you can say it just what it was, because it's not something you have to underplay. Exactly. You're like, yeah, we, like, we fucked around a little bit. I was curious, it ends up, it wasn't really my thing, but whatever. If it comes up, I would say it. But I don't know that you have to make this big declaration.

I wouldn't lose sleep over it. I wouldn't lose, I think it's fine. I think it's the kind of thing where you, yeah, exactly, stop thinking about it. Right, right. Because your boy probably doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. In fact, he's probably like. You're creating this thing in your mind that really doesn't exist maybe, you know?

Totally. Especially with his girlfriend. Of course. Would it be a little different if you had, if you were dating something? somebody who was like a fucking bigot, sure. Right, right. But you probably wouldn't be dating that person anyway, right? Of course.

Yeah, yeah. So to me, dude, I think you're just kind of overthinking this. It's like, if he wasn't, if it was a, well, now I'm actually thinking though, because I was going to say, if it was a girlfriend, right? Like it was, I could see, I still think you probably don't tell her unless it comes up. Right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're mostly friends, especially somebody who's like, young, she seems to be. cool and like sexually liberated, all that kind of stuff. This is a minor blip. It's fun. It's a

funny aspect of your... And doesn't sound like it was something like serious. It's not like it was like a serious relationship. So I say only bring it up if it comes up. And when it comes up, don't be all nervous and weird about it if it does. She's like, oh yeah, I mean, you know, we used to look up. He was by back then. I was curious. He's clearly gone his direction. I've gone my direction. And all that might happen is she might want to make you do more gay stuff. I think that's the most likely outcome if you tell her. She's like, oh, really? Because, like, dude, if I'm dating someone,

and she's like, yeah, I used to go with a, I'm like, can I see you? Really? What's the last time you put her Tuesday? And can't it be soon? And can't it happen again? So, yeah, you're fine, dude. But shout out to you. Shout out to you.

I wonder if you, did he do any gay stuff in the Army? Is my question. Yeah. It feels like you probably would just because. He came back straight. Yeah, yeah. You got to imagine something. Yeah, that's Pete Hagseth's going to put that on the brochure.

Send your gay children in the Army. We'll make them straight. Go, go, go, go, go. I went in by, but I saw some shit over there. Well, yeah, you see such unspeakable horrors. It takes away the delights of homosexuality. Next question, L.D. I saw an esteemed guest.

been a fan for a long time. I've been doing online therapy for anxiety, which basically means that my therapist and I meet online and sort of in person, and it's been going really well. But my therapist did tell me that she uses AI to take notes from our sessions. I know. A little different, but... That's been going really well, but I don't know how to feel about, like,

AI having all of my... Info. ...therapy thoughts in some kind of cloud somewhere. So just wondering what your thoughts are on AI having notes from therapy sessions. Love you. Love the show. Thank you. Interesting.

Yes. Well, look, there's a little, look, the thing about AI that's interesting is that they're basically calling like eight different technologies AI, right? Right. They're calling, now it's become a branding. It's like when Wagyu, everyone's claiming every beef was Wagyu beef. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I know this fucking deli doesn't have the Wagyu choppy cheese.

You know what I mean? I know it's not the same that they got in fucking Japan, right? Right, right, right. And so it is like, like, yes, using it to like draw or like, like, write paragraphs for you or some shit like that. You're corny. You're a corny bitch if you do that. But using it for transcription, you know. It's like a practical.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Using it or like, like there's so many technologies like photos, what is Photoshop other than A, like some Photoshop plugins? If they existed, if they were creating Photoshop now, they would say, check out. AI, our AI tool, where it's like, it's just a tech. A lot of this is just technology, right? Right, right. When we edit the podcast, there's tools where you could like line up the sound with the, with the video, right? Instead of doing it step by step yourself, that shit, who cares about that? Right. That's no big deal. But the privacy concern is a different thing, right?

So I would say, I would just have the conversation with her where it's like, hey, I'm a little worried about, you know, any of my personal information, getting, I don't know with this company. And I think, yeah, if she's not open to, I don't know if it's he or she, whatever, they're not open. Therapist, yeah. Taking handwritten notes or whatever would make you feel more comfortable than, welcome, get a new therapist, you know, that's not a good therapist. Exactly. Or you could even, yeah, exactly, because if you're saying, hey, this is, you're somebody with anxiety. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they stealing my data? You know what I mean? That's so fucked up

of your therapist to do. Right. So I would say, just have the conversation, then be like, hey, I get it. You need this to review the notes, but is it possible for you to use this to transcribe and then keep the notes off the cloud and then have my name not a source?

Because the other thing is she probably, or he or she does, probably doesn't have your name, I would hope not. Or like tell them to store all the information under a different name. Because this is mostly a privacy concern. This is just a privacy concern. Yeah.

And it would kind of be the same if, I mean, let's be real, if your therapist took hand, typed the notes and had your name on it. Right. And just had it on Google Drive. Yeah. It's still pot. Who knows what the fuck? Well, I imagine for this you'd probably have to, fuck me. No, it's all good, do you?

Imagine they probably have to be recording, right? Right, right. In order for, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I guess what I would do is just have the conversation with, with them and be like, look, take notes fine after our session. but afterwards if you could put them in a localized, you know, put it on your computer and delete whatever the fuck don't have my shit in the cloud. And who knows, you don't even really, I bet you don't even know what they might be doing this anyway, right?

Right. If they're a good therapist who understands patient confidentiality, they're not going to have your shit on fucking, you know, on their notes app. You know, like, so that's what I would say. This is just a conversation. This is a pure, this is a conversation. And I will say, as somebody with anxiety, it's not a bad thing. conversation to practice, right?

Like, practice setting a boundary, even with your mental health professional. If anyone should understand. It's great. If your theater, if your fucking therapist is like, fuck you. Then they don't care about you and get a different therapist. But I don't think that's what's going to happen. I understand your worry, but I think this is actually a, not a big deal. And that's coming from me.

I've been very vocal on the whole thing. So, yeah, you're good. Keep doing therapy. We're proud of you. you know, and just have the conversation to be a therapist. We got something fun, eldest here, something fun to go out on?

Sure. And you know what? Before we do, actually, I want to, Dom, you've done such a great job podcasting. I want to present you your whites. I want to present you your chef. You've earned your podcasting whites. There you go, chef.

Yeah, keep the tag. We're fucking returning. both these immediately. I'm basically doing a shittier version of Britney Brosky's like Royal Court. Stavros-Halcus' fuck shitty kitchen. Brittany, come on the pod, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brand new, dude.

That's the smell of podcasting. Beautiful, man, beautiful. Yeah, you look good. This is more like, I feel like we're in a bakery. I know. For real, dude You're about to sing some chickens in the machine at Purdue? Yeah.

I feel like in like the toothpaste factory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this really, this is not, nobody actually cooks in this shit. You got to be making like Chris, the fluffiest croissants in the world. Yeah, yeah. Just like this.

All right, LD, what do we got? What's our final call here? Don't let me down. Hey, Sav. Um, long time listener, a big fan. Um, I've got to a friend I've known since high school we

probably met at 15 or 29 now so like 15ish years almost and in high school we were both like or I don't know I was always kind of a fat guy but he was a skinny dude but now he's fat and he's like

you know been creeping closer to 300 pounds I think he's at like 280 right we regularly oh so he's not that way ourselves oh so he's got just 10 pounds overweight Oh, that's not a big deal. Next question. That's the show.

Go ahead. 300 pounds, I think he's at like 280. We regularly weigh ourselves in our friend group because we're like mentally ill. Well, is he short of the 5-7? Then it's a problem, but 5-7-2-80. I mean, that's a normal dimensions for a guy to be. but he has no intention of ever losing weight and he eats like shit

he works from home he smokes weed all day sounds cool and I've been trying to convince him that he'd be hilarious if he got to 300 pounds so I was just hoping and he's a big fan of yours I was hoping that I was a fellow thank guy he could help me get into 300 pounds I'm like 250 myself I you know 30 is not for me but it's right now so

any advice you have to help me get him to that this is awesome, dude? This is awesome, dude. Yeah, this is, I mean... You want to get your point to be three... I will say, I kind of know what he means. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It would be funny to say you weigh 300 pounds. That's a badge of honor of very few of us get to wear. That's so funny. All right, well, I would say he's well on his way, right? He's, as someone who got to 300 pounds, smoking weed and eating like shit every day, that's the secret.

That's the way to do it. What's his ice cream consumption? Like, that could be, if he's not eating ice cream, he's making a big mistake. Because in terms of gaining weight fast, get him on the pints. Get him on a pint of Ben and Jerry's. We've talked, that's a big lore of this podcast is me, me and Eldis, when we live together in a story, there was literally a time where we averaged a pint and a half a day. day. We and others were spending, and we were broke, by the way. We did the math. I was, I think

there was a couple months I spent more on ice cream than rent. Because my rent was $500 a month at the time. And a pint of Benajueres was $6. Yeah. Is that by far like the most effective food that put it on? Ice cream is the devil when it comes to, like, when you're trying to, because it's like a pint of Benjarez has a thousand calories. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. If you eat the whole thing. Yeah. I guess it's a lot of fat. A lot of mixins. Yeah. Mix it down smooth. Oh, they go down easy, brother.

There's no, yeah. Oh, man, I'm now I'm fucking about to go buy a pint. I'm reminiscing, fuck. And I was, anyway, I, look, what? Because he's eating like shit, but dessert is really the solution here. Yeah. You want to get him to 300 pounds. Eating bad savory, everybody can go, you know, get some chicken tenders and fries.

Can you then follow it up with an even more caloric dessert? Right. That's where we separate the men from the boys. Yeah. All right? That's where we separate the true eaters. And so that's what I'd say. If your friend really wants it, smoke more weed.

The secret is smoking weed between meals. You want to smoke weed right before your dinner. And then you got to get the second. Fuck. The second one, like, oh, fuck, I'm full. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go.

I will say that. The reason, because I'm on GLP ones, every, every time I stop smoking weed for like a week, I lose like 10 pounds on these. And like, and, and, and, but. I feel like if you smoke before you sleep too, then you wake up hungry. Yeah, it, it does something. You wake up in a groggy, hungry state. Yeah, yeah.

And so, yeah, I would say the solution is he's going to have to, if he, if he really wants this, he's going to have to smoke more wheat and eat more ice cream. That's good to do it for us. Go see Tony. in theaters now, New York and L.A., everywhere next week. Dom, I mean, that's all you got to plug. That's a nice thing about being an actor, though. You fucking have one big project.

Yeah, watch Tony. Watch Tony. We're both in it. We're both in it. We're both in it. And yeah, it was a black, truly the movie, I don't know, man. I really, I watched it again. I watched the premiere.

I watched it with my mom at the Museum of the Moving Image. And not to be corny. You know, we hate to be sincere here. But I really feel like we did something special. I mean, you and Matt really fucking pulled it off, bro. So you should be really proud of yourself, my friend. You too. And folks, go see the movie.

I really believe in it. And I do think you're going to have an excellent time. So we'll see you next time. Bye-bye. And Uncle Stav, September 8th on Netflix. And actually, tires out this week, I believe, too. Nice. A lot of shit going on.

It's the summer of Stav. See you guys next week. Bye-bye.