Stavvy's World - #31 - Paris Sashay

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

Paris Sashay joins the pod to discuss why size matters to lesbians, attending a special ed high school and selling weed to her classmates, when she and Stav first met as wee comics, and much more. Paris and Stav help callers including a guy whose friend was very rude to his girlfriend, and a woman who wants to bring her partners to play parties. Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at patreon.com/stavvysworld  Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. I'm very happy to have in the studio today, Parasache. Thanks for coming, bud. Hey, hey, thank you for having me. Yeah, we've known each other since, like, we were doing open mics in DC, probably like, literally 10 years ago, which is so fucked up. Yeah, so fucked up. How old are the years?

And like, maybe more, but let's just cut, let's not do the math. Let's just kind of, which is so fucked up. Yeah. So fucked up. How old are the years? And like maybe more, but let's just cut, let's not do the math. Let's just cut it off at 10. 10's a nice round number. Yeah, I literally remember the first time, because I think the first, we were, I remember it because it was such a funny, open mic. I remember where we like, I don't know if you even remember this, but it was Tabac, remember Tabac? Oh yeah, yeah, right.

Remember Rolo's room? Yeah, Rolo was running it, and it was fucking hilarious, because I used to love, I would do any room possible, and it was like a purely black standup room, and I remember just being there, and it was just like, Rolo was, like Rolo was just, who's also hilarious, I should ask Rolo to come. That would have been awesome.

Rolo was just on, he was running the mic and he was just talking for like 40 minutes. Yeah. Like, it was like, it was people just smoking hookah. And he was just, I was like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, it was an idiotic guard. Black people. Yeah, he was all black people.

So all black people with me. And I remember you because you were cool, because like, I didn't know anyone there except Rolo a little bit. And I remember you because you were cool, because I didn't know anyone there except Ralo a little bit. And I didn't know you were a comic. And I just thought you were like a cool audience member. Because you were fucked up too. The first time I saw you, you were so fucked up. Wasted.

Wasted out of control drunk. And I was like, this girl's pretty cool. She's laughing. She's got a good sense of humor, you know? And then you went up and I was like, what the fuck? You were like drunk and shit. And I was like, this is fucking awesome.

Because it was so fun and Ralew was, you know, it was a great, I just remember that. It was a fun one. It was a fun room, a great room. Great room. I'm gonna get drunk and have fun on stage. Oh, it was so fun. And it was like, and when you're like, you know,

I was just, I was literally like, a little fat white kid with my, like my business casual attire coming straight from work. I was wearing like fucking khaki pants with elastic waistbands and I think people were shocked to see someone look like me and then be funny. Yeah. People were just, people were like, I could tell every day on stage, people were just ready for me to bomb. And I would just, the easiest thing to do if you don't know on stage, people were just ready for me to bomb.

And I would just, the easiest thing to do if you're in a black room, make fun of the host. And then you would, you're in. You're in. Just make fun of Rolo for how dark he is. And then everyone's there. Everyone's like, oh, I didn't even know he knew to make fun of, like that's.

That's absolutely, that's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was so, Rolo always bailed me out, because I I would always I'd make fun of him and Russ and it was always fun but yeah I just remember I just remember being like you were just fucked up smoking hookah and then you're like fuck it let give me a poem? Before we had to make it our livelihood. Right. But yeah, that was also, it's also fun because we've also known each other when we were just like regular ass. I feel like both of us have a pretty, you know, unique style now.

But I remember, this was before the cool glasses. Yeah. You know, no cool hair. You had like a- So you were now who you were, I had hair. You had hair. You had hair. Maybe we're straight at the time, I don't remember.

Yeah, we're straight at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had, you definitely had like, I just haven't met the right guy hair. That's not what it was. Every time you sent me, it was a new one. It's not a special. That's it. But then, yeah. And then you were just gay and had the cool glasses I've ever seen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stand up as predated. It's so funny, but you were doing stand up before you were dating women is so funny.

Yeah. Crazy. To do that, to make that transition well, and you're like, all right, I just found myself, and now it's time to do an open mic. Yeah. Like you probably ate pussy and then had to go do a spot. I had to be like, well that was really cool.

That was huge for my life. Now I have to go, now I have to go fucking do a midnight spot at a at a bar in Adams Morgan. One o'clock in the morning right I can't be full of gay and bad. That's a stressful enough. Fuck so fucking so fucking funny so awesome. Are you from DC originally? I'm from DC. Okay nice. DC originally.

Hell yeah. So you were just yeah that's and's, and you just, yeah. So you grew up there and then you just started getting drunk and going to open my ex. Yeah. When I began it, I was still nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like the drunker you get, the better you can be yourself. Yeah, absolutely.

So whatever I was saying, I have no idea when I was talking about my fingers, but it was good. But it was fun. And the liquor was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fun times. And the liquor was good, you tried it all back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fun times. Did you have any like very like,

do you have anybody who looked cool? Do you have any flamboyant style people in your neighborhood in your like family or like, who did you take after? My mom, my mom was really fluh. Yeah. She always was like, cool mom. You can be broke, but you need to be fluh. I'm like, okay, you got a point,

cause you can trick people No one knows how much money you have, but if you look fly like oh she has some money Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so she used to take me window shopping That's awesome. We're not gonna buy anything, but see but just know this is what you should do Train and practice for fashion that's an important lesson. Yeah, so my mom definitely and my dad's Jamaican So he's pretty awesome. Oh, nice. Hell yeah. Was he around? No, he wasn't even around.

You're making dad, doesn't feel... For the folks at home, I took a swing and it worked, but I could've ended bad. That's a question. Was it around? No, this is a discussion. You're making dad, not present. Okay. That's fucking hilarious. So he was popping in and out?

Yeah, no, he was in jail. Oh, shit. But he was even flying jail. Of course. It's funny to watch those TikTok videos now where people are like making meals and makeup in jail. It's crazy. There's a lot you can do with a packet of ramen.

But the craziest thing is it's been that way It just was no cameras. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I had him send me a list of like things they can buy because they really have things in there That you can spend a lot of money on yeah, why I don't know But it's like they had watches like what really? Who needs a Rolex and you think you that we don't want to know what time it is? you don't want to know what time it is. Three, you don't want to. You think you don't want to like. You're not coming home anytime soon.

What for what? What are you checking your watch for? They'll tell you when you need to be somewhere. You know when lunch is. There's no time in here. Yeah, no, so they have real things, but now I'm teaching this show like. Yeah.

This is, jail looks fun on TikTok. It really does. I saw a video where they're all doing back flips. They're all doing back flips. They're all teaching each other gymnastics. And it looks like camp. It looks kind of fun. They have a Titsong challenge just like in jail.

I don't wanna go there. I know. There probably is like a fun version of jail and then one that's just so bad. Like up until one level of jail, it's probably not that bad. You think? I think like there's like low levels of jail and then there's the ones that are- Low levels of jail. It's probably not that bad. You think? I think like, there's like low levels of jail and then there's the ones that are...

Low levels of jail. You know what I mean? You see them, they're all hanging out. Just like, they don't really have to be in their cells at all at the time. Because when you see media about jail and shit, you just assume you're just locked in your cell forever. And it's just you and some fucking guy.

But my brother's really into this, like, reality show about how they would send people who weren't criminals into jail to, like, I don't even know for what purpose. I think to see if they were running the jails right, like, it was like a sting operation. It was like, you were snitching both on the cops and the prisoners, and it was like,

you were like, you were a double snitch. Which seems like an awful thing to do with your time, but hey, it was a very entertaining show. Because you had people who were like, you know, hardos about like justice. And like, who thought like cops were good guys. And then who just wanted to help out and snitch on, you know. Cops and jail.

It's on people in jail and then like found out, oh wow, this is a really fucked up system. You know what I mean? Like they're, and you have people who, and then you had people who like, like girls would go in there and like just cheat on their husbands. Like they would like get girlfriends.

Yeah, they would just start dating people's or like which wasn't allowed and they would get kicked out. They would get seduced. It was awesome. But some of those jails, look, I don't want to go to jail. I would not, I would, I would think I could actually, I think I could be okay. You could find your vibe.

I think I could figure it out, but I don't want it, I don't want to, I'm too used to, you know, having every streaming service and ordering, ordering seamless, getting any kind of cuisine I want. But they didn't look as bad as what you like imagine. Right. You know what I mean? Like it's gonna be, so I don't know.

We were about to say something, Elders. Oh, I was gonna say, like those TikTok jail recipes. Yeah, that looks like... So they're making those ramen burritos. That looks like some shit you would just eat. Elders has one of the worst palettes of all time. Have you ever tried to make one? No, I haven't.

Did I look that good to me, but I do still want to try one or more? Yeah, just for the experience of making it. You can take what it really tastes like. Some ramen, some ramen and like slim Jim casserole. Damn. Do you have any other siblings? I'm the youngest child. So I have an older sister, older brother,

my mom's side, and then 15. Yeah, you know it. You know it. Five on the Jamaica side. Five that we know about. I'm sure. I run into people all the time. I'm like, you could be my brother.

He's not going to tell the truth. Yeah, damn. Did you ever go to Jamaica? Like, are you connected? I'm going to share. Oh, wow. That's fucking sick. That's fucking sick.

So I feel like that should be a fun time. That will be fun. Do you talk to anyone on that side of the family or no? I used to talk to them, but they're just, they're Jamaican. And it's like, sometimes you have to be like, you know what, this isn't for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, no, couple of them got cut off, but. Yeah. I know them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a aware of them. I mean, I feel the same way when I go to Greece and I'm just like, I don't need to put up with my family. I just want to, it's the most, it's a beautiful place.

I can have an awesome vacation. Why am I bringing one of the most stressful things in the world, my family, into the mix. So good for you. Thank you. Get out of Jamaica. Don't ask. Don't even let anyone know.

Don't let anyone know. And thankfully in Greece, I don't think they know I'm successful yet. So no one has asked me for anything. Okay, but like, for years I was not, I was just, you know, they're like, they would make fun of me for not. Why don't you go to school?

Why don't you, you know, you're in America, you're wasting your, like, you're in America years. Aren't you supposed to go, isn't in America, you're wasting your, like, is that, aren't you supposed to go, is there, aren't immigrants supposed to go to America and get successful? Why don't you have a job? You know, they were just like, and do all that shit. And I don't think they know that shit's been going good

the last couple of years. And I plan on, but, I plan on keeping it that way, but there are some sacrifices you have to make. Like, I couldn't stay in a hotel because that would be a clear indication. So I'd just sleep on my cousins like, literally like he put his childhood mattress on the floor and was like, here you go bro. And I was like, oh, and I back pain for one month after that.

So I don't know what I'm going to do this time. I'm going to have to make up something up. I'm going to have to just admit I have some money, but not as much as I do have. That is funny. Wow. That's it. They were around all those siblings,

or you have like good relationships with them, right? I'm sorry. I met all the siblings on my dad's when I turned 18. Wow. So we didn't know each other's kids. I knew they existed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then 18 came and we started hanging out. I'm like my older sister. Just as So we didn't know each other's kids. I knew they existed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then 18 came and we started hanging out.

And like my older sister. Just as people. Yeah, we're super close. That's awesome. Oh, that's pretty cool. To get siblings like a latent life, to just kind of like. And like good siblings?

Yeah, yeah. Wow, not a piece of shit in the mix, huh? Not a piece of shit in the mix. No, not one bit. That's huge. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah. Yeah, do any of them have the accent?

Oh, they all do. Really? They actually all do. That's not gonna awesome. They do. Now, when I got it, Jamaica, I'm gonna see what he can teach in two weeks. Yeah. Because I have that broke too.

It's like I have nothing. Of course. We're the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, in Jamaica, if you stay on a resort and you want to bring somebody that lives there, You have to pay for them to come on a resort. Wow. They're just not allowed not allowed. It's literally like a separate cut It's like a little fake country, but I kind of like it cuz it's like I can only pay for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah Don't bring those other You have nothing I am oh

That's smart So maybe maybe it was even even like people with Jamaican family that instituted that rule. Like, I can't have all my fucking cousins here embarrassing me in front of my fellow Americans. I can't have my fucking third world cousins while doing laundry in the shower. I'm here to enjoy some of my time and some Calamari fritters.

I've never been, I've really wanted to go to Jamaica. I've never, I've never, because it's tough when you're, because I'm from Greece, so it's like whenever you go on vacation, you feel like just go there, because it's so awesome. Okay. But how far is Jamaica? It's not that far from the east coast. It's not, I'm gonna fly from New York. Oh, it's a couple hours.

Not too many. That's pretty sick. Cause the problem with greases, it's fucking fully 10 hours away. Mm, yeah, no, it's too much. Yeah, that's far. But if there's a little Caribbean, I do wanna, cause I'm a beach guy personally. Okay.

I don't know about you. On vacations, I don't want a mountain. I don't want, I'll go on A hike, but I'm not camping. Absolutely not. I'm not trying to camp whatsoever. You're not like the beach, the sun. It's relaxing. Yeah, I gotta get in there.

Cause you know, even LAs, the LAs beaches are kind of bullshit. I gotta try some Caribbean shit. Have you ever been to the Caribbean elders? No, I haven't. I really want to go though. No, yeah. Damn. I was hoping.

Oh, you know what? Oh, wait, I'll take that back. I went on a weird senior trip. To Jamaica actually. But it was like a fucking weird resort. And there was all these kids. I was like, I remember like, do you guys have that where it's like senior week or whatever.

And it would be like, usually you go like Ocean City or like some. You guys wanted to Jamaica? What the hell was this? I don't know. Well, yeah, it was this weird thing where it's like senior week or whatever. And it would be like usually you go like Ocean City or like some- You guys want to Jamaica? What's the hell was this? I don't know, well they, yeah, it was this weird thing where it was like, well, I went to, it was called Baltimore Polytechnic Institute Poly. Okay.

And it wasn't that many kids. It was like 20 of us went. So it was like available to everyone, but most people were like, no, we're not going to fucking Jamaica. And I don't know why we did it. It was fucking weird. We were just in a resort like they wouldn't let us leave.

They were like, we can't trust children in Jamaica. But we brought them to Jamaica. We brought them to Jamaica. We don't trust you. We bought some of the worst weed of all time from a guy who worked there who clearly was just ripping off tourists. That's what they said happened.

100%. It was like the brownest. I don't even know that it was weed. But we spoke, we spoke, we were the math teacher. And then, and they had like a celebrity guest. It was some guy who was on the real world, but I had never heard of him. And this guy was just like trying to fuck

underage Thai schoolers. It was one of the most fucking, it was one of the weirdest experience I've ever had in my life. Oh, but this trips again. I really don't, I really don't know. And then I was like, I didn't, I just forgot to put sunscreen on. And, uh, and I had, I was kind of like, I was just kind, I was just like, oh yeah, whatever I only need sunscreen. Like, I'm Greek, you know, I was kind of like, I was just kind, I was just like, oh yeah, whatever, I only need sunscreen, like I'm Greek,

you know, I was trying to show off, and I was trying to show off and prove that I was cooler than the other two white guys on the trip. I mean, I tried to separate myself from the other white people, because you know, most of my class was black in Baltimore, and so I was like, I was always like, yeah, I mean, I'm better than you guys,

so I'm cooler than you, motherfuckers, and I got sun poisoning so bad that my fucking back just like, it was fucking horrible. It like blistered and shit. I like passed out and like slept through, slept through like the best night ever. Everyone got pussy that night. And the night that I passed out from sun poisoning.

And not only do they all get pussy, but there's like one, like everyone kind of fucked someone that kind of matched with them. Like there was like a tall kid, fucked a tall girl. There's like, and then there was straight up, there's like a chubby girl that no one fucked. And I was like, that was me.

That was supposed to be me. Who was that? It's a pool. I was, yeah, I was, I was showing off in the pool. And then it cost me pussy. Oh man. But yeah, so that's my only experience with Jamaica, but that could have been in like, you know, New Jersey

for all, you know what I mean? Like I wasn't, and you didn't feel the like, it was, we were so like sheltered and closed off that it was like, you didn't feel like anything foreign at all, but. That's hilarious. Yeah, it was a pretty good time. They take you anywhere, you got any senior trips,

any you do any dumb shit as a child. So I did a lot of dumb shit, so they put me out of school, so I went to a special way of school. I didn't go on, I didn't, we had no filter. We had, we had nothing, you show up, that's it. You got put up for just acting up or? I just was fighting a lot. Yeah.

Just disrupting the class, just making jokes about the teacher. Everything you were not supposed to do, I did. Nice. And they put you in special ed for that? They put me in special ed because they said, I need a special attention. So I was like the kid, I did all my work. I had good grades. Yeah.

And then I would disturb the rest of the class. Right, right. And it's like, no, they're slow. Yeah, yeah. You have to leave because you're causing disruptions. Yeah. Especially. That's wild to be like, I just put her there.

Who cares? They're like, we don't want to deal with her. So just put her with kids that can't even read. Like, was everyone like mentally handicapped in your classes? That's the right thing. I got there. I was like, this is not even like they make a scene. Was everyone mentally handicapped in your classes? That's the cry of things. I was like, this is not even like they make a scene. It was a little bit of everybody.

It was a little Pope Parise. A little bit of everything in here. We got learning disabilities, we got Jamaican fathers. One of those two things. It was a little mix. A little funny. What was, a funny. Yeah. What was your most memorable high school fight? Do you say someone who really deserved it?

We're really happy to fuck somebody up. It's been enough time, I feel like. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe the one I got put out for. OK. Maybe the one I got put out for was what happened there the one I got put out for. I'm gonna go for it.

What happened there? I just think it came to a point where like, you can ignore people, sometimes you can't. Especially in high school. Of course. Then you have people around you and just exit on. So it's like I had to handle this. Yes, yes.

So it was like I wasn't gonna do it. And then the teacher stopped us. And remember back in the day when they had the cards with the TV's on it. Sure. So the teacher wrote over my foot with the car. Oh, the teacher did to stop me from beating up the girls. I'm like, I'm going to have to whip your ass.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass.

I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm going to whip your ass. I'm reason to get you down. At least you got your money's worth. I definitely got my money's worth. What was the argument about? What was she fucking with you about?

Girls being girls, girls were silly. And when girls are growing up, I feel like once everybody started having sex and everybody started filling themselves. It just be stupid. Just dumb to run your mouth. Yeah, and I don't think she was smoking weed and I was. Which was why she was so bothered. Right, right, right, right. Let's's just fight let's just get this over with just get this over if I win

You just never talk trash again. Yeah, and then I got kicked out and then you did win But what was the cost? You had to go to the show right? Ride the short bus He literally wrote this. Three years. It was crazy. Because it was like, okay, you can write the show bus. If nobody knows, it's fine. But if I didn't come outside, they will pull over,

park it, and then call my mom, and let her know where I sound. I'm like, I hear the bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drop that off, my friends are outside. I can't get a miss. Not today, I'll catch you later. I can't get on it right now.

Damn, that's so fucking wild. Yeah, like year two, I had them like drop me right now damn that's so fucking wild. Yeah, like you're two I had them like dropped me off and like this cut Everybody you were cheating like now my wife will see us Drop me up in the alley. I can't have people know I'm going to fucking special ed I will walk up this hill. They're like oh you just got off the bus. I'm like you're the metro Right there damn what the, so what was it? So it was like a smaller school,

it was like a special, it was a private special school, which is crazy, you had to get accepted into it. And the city had to pay for it. Huh, interesting. So they just sent kids that were like, they didn't send everybody. Either a problem or like, or just, yeah, that's, that's,

I'm sorry, that's a bizarre concept of, you have to apply to Special Ed. It's like, how, I'm like, how quickly, how quickly can you color code these Legos? You have to be, I'm like, how much information do you know about Yu-Gi-O?

Right, like how much, how much fucking, about trains. If you didn't pass the test, you don't know that. Yeah, can you tell us which train, what year this train was made? I mean this one. It was a special ed dog. It was a crazy experience.

Yeah, damn. So was it kids that were just like, so it was all different types of learning disabilities. Oh, different types of learning disabilities. The fullest, special needs to just bad kids. That seems crazy to put those two together. I never understood. I'm like, who would do this? Just bad kids that's that seems crazy to put those two together Yeah, you've realized especially those kids are actually stronger than normal people. Oh You try and fight them and you fucking you get even the tea they could beat the So it's all you got to do just shut eye mind tricks to keep them calm

Once they lose a decent would they know their power and so They can't know that at all damn that's so that's fucking wild and everyone was like In different classes. I'm assuming a reason okay Okay but the school was like the size of a office building. Yeah. It really wasn't big. So everybody was kind of like in the same areas and she lunch was everyone was at the same place. Lunch, everybody in the same place, just one little circle.

Damn. Everybody's just sitting there. Were there any special ed romances popping up? I fell in love with special ed. You fell in love with special ed? What a beautiful sentence. I fell in love. I ed? What a beautiful sentence. I felt love. I was like, maybe I'm supposed to be here. He's supposed to be here. Just saying it was like it works was.

We meet each other to get through this process. And we said together like two and a half years, it was, wow. That's cute. And if you dropped out. He dropped out. Yeah, I don't think he wanted to do it anymore. Didn't want to stay too rigorous to curriculum. You're dropping out a special layer then, yeah. Maybe go work construction. Maybe school ain't for you.

It's so easy, then. Why don't you want to do it? Damn, that's fucking... Yeah, he... The coloring worksheets were too much for him. I'm tired of watching Bob the Builder episodes. That's so funny. Was he also there for like same bad kid shit or? Yeah, he was there for bad kid shit.

Nice. He was there for bad like getting put out of school. In and out of jail. Yeah. So it really was a crazy mix. Like it was this one girl. She never told ever wow just never Yeah, didn't say where the whole time I saw to some weed like the second year

Her mom came to the school the next day and thanks me she started talking She was just too stressed oh my god, that's fucking awesome That's awesome. So selling weed and specials seems like the place though. The place. That seems like you can get. You can make any price. They don't know.

They give you your money. This is a dime. Give me just a dollar. Thank you. What's up? Oh man. Yeah. Easily goable.

They already love snacks to begin with. That's right. You don't know what I mean. You don't know that, huh? Imagine, yeah. Yeah. Oh, he ate, he ate Reese's and a gal and drank a gallon of chocolate milk.

That's just what he usually has. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. The perfect cover. Oh, he couldn't figure out math today. Well, he never could anyway. Very smart. I sold a little weed in my, at, at Polly. I sold a little weed in there.

But there was much more difficult everyone, you know, everyone was watching your, because that was like, Baltimore Public Schools, I don't know how DC was, but it was like, we had like two good schools, and everything else was just fucking dog shit. It was like everyone's like, you know, everyone's fucking everybody up and like, you know, the whole, you're getting into a fighting all the time. We had a little bit of that, but it wasn't the trick that I always used to pull though,

because we had a bunch of different types of kids was, we had like hot topic kids. Okay. It was like mostly black kids and there was like, you know, a lot of Greek kids, because for my neighborhood went there too, and then you had like a little bit of like that Baltimore white trash. Okay.

That was maybe like five percent of the population. Okay. And at that era, you know, we're about the same age I think. I'm 34. 31. 31. So yeah, we're in there.

I don't know if you caught, it was the, of course it was the Jersey, the baggy jerseys and the fuck, the jeans that were like biggest fuck. Yeah. So you could hide a nice amount of weed in your big jeans. And then also, also if you weren't like aback jersey in Big Jeans kid, the Baltimore White Trash kids, they were like slip-not hot topic kids, and they had even bigger pants. He was like huge pockets.

And there was literally a kid that I would just give some money to sneak a scale and weed into the school because his pockets used fattiships, and his jeans were gigantic. So there's like, there's some fun, you know, it wasn't as good as Special Ed, but I made a nice little, I made it, my senior year I sold weed

and it was, you know, it was, I don't know if you felt this way, but I thought going into college, I was like, I never kept track of it, obviously I'm a bad businessman, but I was making a lot of money and it was like, you know, but I would just, you're in high school and I'm just like, let me just get food.

You know, you have your first little taste of independence, I had a car that year, and like going, and I like sold, I just make a money money. I sold weed for like a year, thinking like, oh, I'm gonna have like a few geez, at least, going into college, and I just just like I just never counted it and I just like So smoke some of my own weed bought whatever the fuck I wanted and then like going into college

I had $400 What the fuck I was telling weed for a year and I have $400 because I ate and smoked my way out of it I was getting like Chinese it was everything good. I like Yeah, I bought a couple you know a couple of the a couple big jeans and a couple I had a Lamar Odom clippers, you know, I had a couple jury a couple throwbacks But man, it was not enough. It wasn't enough for you know selling weed for a year That's funny. Yeah, he wasn't that expensive but then I was you know We're here to know sure yeah back then it was like, what, like a 35 bucks

for an eighth, was felt like the standard going right. Now I feel like it's at least 50, maybe 60, something more, you know, what's up, elders? I think 40 is pretty standard. Do you remember when you sold Wheaton Heistle, and you try to put me on? I do. You're right.

I do. Try and talk me into fronting me like, watch that half an hour. Yeah, dude, you just, it was, I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I a weed debt this time. Doesn't seem like a good idea. That's funny. I was being a good guy. I was being a fucking good guy and you spit in my face. You would have been selling weed in the county, dude. You had nothing to worry about. I was the one taking the risks.

I was the one getting it from my sketchy fucking supplier. I was trying to build a team. I really was. Him, you abandoned me and then fucking supplier. I was trying to build a team. I really was. Him, you abandoned me and then my friend, I won't say his name, but another one of my friends on the football team, he abandoned me. It was supposed to be me and him together and he just was like, I can't do it.

But then I also became the bitch because like, a cup, like one of my friends like saw, a kid I knew got into like either a car accident or he had some kind of like medical, what are you doing, you're just opening up for, okay. He had some kind of like medical malpractice suit that he got like a ton of money off of and his way of like growing his investment was like,

oh great, I'm gonna start selling cocaine like, you know, growing his investment was like, oh great, I'm gonna start selling cocaine. And he tried to get me a sell coke and I was like, if I go to this meeting, I'm getting robbed. I was like, I just could feel it in my bones. I was like, they know I have a ton of money. They know I'm like a fun guy, but I know that this fucking guys 100% going to rob me

I'll just you know I was thinking the other day. I love you know what I love mango the fruit I love it sweet. It's delicious and I was eating a piece of mango pre-cut from a beautiful market here You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets absolutely? That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off. I'd be like, this is actually... One time after a day I was like, I want to come back with some fruit salad.

And I thought it was smooth. And then some girl after she fucking was like, that was so weird. You asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drunk. I didn't. I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, Dziac. Well, here's the thing.

Thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango. And oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. And I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, Now that would be something else. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know I'm a dick pill evangelist eldest. You know I'm an ED. I've tried them all from the gas stations to other other services. MangoRx now has a new ED poll that is game changing, okay? Really?

Taste like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, Eld. They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever.

We're talking zwing! You know when they take out a sword and it goes, that's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal. After I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light. Yes, one little gleam. One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks.

You heard it here first. I don't know, yeah, cause like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science in here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It is, it was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard science in the field, right?

People who have a beautiful goal, here's their mission, make America hard again, eldest. Then, you know, let's get, can we get, fuck, fucking idiot. There you go, sorry. We tried to give it the applause it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again. I think on what, whatever side of the aisle you're on, conservative liberal leftist centrist, you could, we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks, all this division in the world would go away, all this. I think this is such a good product,

Eldis, I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on ED medication in general, because look, here's the thing about mango orics. You might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal. Yeah. All right? I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one.

Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor quick works within 10 minutes my friend the dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very You see you see me take getables that's just because you want a little dummy Of us now because that's so much why I'm to get high as well. I say you take weed adibles I've seen you take fiber I'm so much more of a snack, because I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack, because I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack.

I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack.

I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack.

I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack. I'm so much more of a snack mangorx.com, complete a short and secured telemedicine visit. You're in your out and Mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over in literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing. Quick and easy. Be sure to use code, stop 20 to save 20% off your first order. You and your partner are going to love it. That goes double for you, LD.

I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile.

Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. I could tell. Another time I started selling it because one of my friends, his brother was like, you know, he sold a lot of. He was moving a lot of shit And I would get it straight from my friend and then one time and I didn't realize that he was giving me great prices Because he didn't know what the fuck he was doing either and then

He was like all right. I was like dude. Let me talk to your brother directly and like That guy was like what the fuck like he started charging me like, really, he saw, I literally pulled up, I met this guy in a, in a Models parking lot. No, no, not Models. Um, fuck, what was the, Forman Mills, remember Forman Mills, Eldes? No.

Anyway, whatever. I met him in a Forman Mills parking lot. It was like, it was like, you know, just kind of like a shittier, it was like a local marshals kind of thing, like just not, you know, like an off brand kind of marshal situation. And I just pull up in my mother's gold mini van.

And it's like, and my friend was like, my friend was like, you know, he was like a pretty boy football player, like, you know, whatever, like nothing to be scared of. And I think his dad was maybe not Jamaican, but a similar guy. A similar guy to your dad. And so this was like, this was like his criminal older brother.

And dude, I pulled up and this guy, like, he was cool, but he came with a friend who was like, just fucking, this kid was jacked. He was just fucking, like, mean mugging me. Like, that guy, I could tell if I was not my friend's friend, 100% that guy wanted to rob me. He was like, why aren't we just taking his money? Like, I know they left that conversation,

and the guy was like, why did you even give him the weed? We could have taken $1,000 for free. And the guy was like, I know, but I told my brother, I told my brother I would help his friends. That is how it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. Oh, it's a good guy. I would have done absolutely nothing.

I would like, here you go, sir. I've never seen you guys. Would you like to keys to my mother's car? I'll walk home to East Baltimore from here, fully across town. Yeah, I was selling wheat in high school really was the way to go, but it's a great fun. It's a shame that most kids don't have that now because it's so easy to get weed, you know, so easy. They took that, they took a form of like young entrepreneurship away from us by selling

weed everywhere. Do you come out with a little profit over you also like eating your profits and smoking your profits like I was? No, I had a little profit. I don't even like told my cousin because he was selling weed. I even used to come to the school. Yeah. Hey, there's plenty around here, Kyle.

Listen, we're gonna get all the money. It was so much like I was selling down for $40. They have no idea. That's fucking awesome That's awesome. It would trade me. It was one guy. He would bring me cameras He was still I told you know let the special eight kids for you. He was still an electronics I told you know, let the special aid get spooked. He was still in electronics. I came to school next day and I was like, we're missing two cameras. He's all from the school.

She's all from the school. She's all from the school. She's all from the school. And he gave it to me on the special air bus to in Athens, I said. They are tricking us about special aid. Yeah. I mean, we had a friend who worked as a teacher

in special ed in high school. And this, I don't think it was your, I think it was just like special needs kids who were like very, very like, you know, we know what I'm trying to say. You know, let's just say classic. Just say, just write down the middle exactly what you're thinking of and he said those kids were fun We're so horny that a horny like cuz in high school and they would just catch like two of them going at it

Constantly and they were just like you know like I if the hormones are going crazy and you just have no like You don't catch Socialization, you know, I like you don't catch socialization. You know what I mean? You're not big on the, you know, societal etiquette. That's like, he was talking about literally having like, like, hose kids down and shit like that. Like they broke up, they broke these kids up with a hose one time.

He had to like, he had to like, yeah, restrained a kid he was beating off. He had to like, hold it like yeah, restraining kid he was beating off Hold it while the kids dick was hard He he went on to have a storied career at Enterprise rental car after that But you graduated you didn't drop out like your special ed boyfriend. No, I graduated. I'm like, this is kind of easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just got to come.

I still had a good life. Yeah. I still talk to older guys, and I wouldn't drop me off at school. And I'm like, I work here. I was an office building for the nice blouse open. I get into building, and I put on a t-shirt. They have no idea, no one knows. It's a secret.

That's fucking hilarious. That's so funny. Oh, man. Was that your thing you were into older guys when you were in high school or whatever? Yeah. It's like older guys, they knew more. And they had more money.

Yeah, yeah, that's true. I can't see you. We have the same amount of money. Where's your dad? And they know it. Yeah, probably had that's true. I can't get you. We have the same amount of money. Where's your day? And you know what? Yeah, probably had nothing to do with your absentee father. No. I had to guess.

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Older guys, dreadlocks. Uh. Uh. That's, that's, yeah. That is, that always was, I remember being like,

because that, I mean, half of the girls you grew up with just are out of the gate dating older guys. And you're just like, ah, come on. I remember being like a fat nerd and being like, I can't even, I can't even compete with the other kids my age. Now some guy with a fucking cool car. I was, I fully understood.

I was like, yeah, I get it. He's driving around, he's buying her booze. You're 17. I'm like, I have I get it. He's driving around, he's buying her booze. You're 17. I'm like, I have my mom's fucking minivan. Of course, she's gonna fuck that guy, not me. Absolutely. I was so pissed. I was so pissed off.

But, you know, what are you gonna do? And then also, the guys that are, imagine being that guy, because it's like, it's one thing to date, like, girls 10 years younger than you, but it's a different thing to be like, yeah, I'm dating a 16 year old in special ed. I didn't know. But I didn't know.

So I didn't, and at the time that I was a grown business one. A teacher's aide, helping underprivileged handicapped children, not selling them weed In exchange for some fucking Toshiba laptop. They they took from the fucking the computer lab He was good at it. He had a new camera every week. That's where Like you keep this coming in. I'll keep the week coming in. Let's do it. That's awesome

You never had any you never broke any real laws at high school. Did you all this? Fuck no, no fucking nerd I'm like damn know which I was in special I could have made some money got some pussy That's a pussy. You definitely got a cut up guy. It holds a special in. So that's a food in every way. Absolutely. These are great lessons, guys. For our younger listeners,

if you're struggling, fight until they put you in special ed. If you don't make friends in regular school be violent Be violent and then maybe you'll get lucky Damn that's so fucking funny and then I'm guessing you didn't go to college after that I Yeah, this isn't for me. This isn't as fun as fucking high school. No, it wasn't.

Where were you studying? Masking medications. Okay, so just kind of. Still in the same city. Yeah, I did a little, I did, I had to lie to myself because my parents wanted me to be, you know, it's that immigrant shit of like they wanted me to be like a lawyer

or like, you know, just have a real job. So I had to like, I was a political science and I did like a media like minor. But yeah, I was the same shit. The only shit I cared about was just like, you know, I probably if I had it all over, I probably would have went to like, either film school or did some kind of writing program

or just made you do that kind of shit. But yeah, did you know Jevny in clean of what you want to do or you just kind of like floating through life So when I left I was like okay, I have to figure something out. Yeah, because let them tell it. I'm a failure Me tell it I just didn't want to waste any more time. Of course. But I was always the class clown. So I felt like comedy is just kind of.

Yeah. Got to that point. Sure. But where your older siblings, from your mom's side specifically, were they doing good? Like did you, like, what did your mom want? Did they all go to school? No. No.

So your mom was kind of like, That was the first one that went to school and the first one that dropped out. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I said to Tom. Oh. Yeah, so your mom was basically... She was like, it was like trying to sneak in being a good mom at the end.

Like, she was procrastinating. She's like, all right, if I can get one in school. Just one. That was her thing. If I can do it one time, I did my job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went, made her happy and then left. Yeah, I did, I mean, truly that's the only reason

I went to school too, it was like, I didn't even technically graduate, but they let me walk. And once they let me walk, because I had like six credits left, I just wanted my mom to get that picture. So I just needed to make my language credits up, and I was like, I'm good, fuck it.

So what were you doing, what were you up to like when you're starting, when we met, when you're starting up in mics, what were you up to? Cause you're wearing some business attire. Yeah, I was doing it. I was doing a temp agency jobs. Okay, gotcha. Just to bring the money in.

And I was dating guys and they actually were paying for them. That's awesome. Yeah, so it was like part time, part time. Now let me ask you, that must have been a rude awakening when you switch teams. guys and they actually were paying for things. Yeah, so it was like part time, part time. Now let me ask you, that must have been a rude awakening when you switched teams. Oh, God. Because now it feels like you got a paper shit, you know?

Sometimes. But if I missed anything from men, it's not, I never paid for anything. Whenever I became gay, I'm like, this shit calls. I never paid a bill, what is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, that's brutal. How do you, yeah, has it been that way where it's like, now you got it, now you're paying or you splitting?

What's the move? In the beginning, I was paying. Then I had my girlfriend for four years, I was paying. Got you. Once I became single, I'm like, ah, no. Yeah. Women, you're still gonna pay. You're actually me. My thing became single I'm like, oh no. Yeah. Women, you're still gonna pay. You're actually, my thing is if you ask me, you pay.

Sure. So then I just purposely don't ask, because you should pay. Right, right. So we can have the whole conversation, but when it comes to the date, I'm not gonna say it. Yeah. It's like one. What kind of girls do you go for? You go for like more feminine is that part of the problem?

So yeah, so I see yeah, I'll like you have to be feminine So you're kind of the lesbian version of a fuckboy then if you're not trying to pay that's what I heard Felt it out this year I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'll pay the date, but it's like dating back then and dating now. I feel like social media has kind of ruined dating.

Everybody's just wants to go to these places. They don't even eat the food. They just want to get it. And it's like, I'm not, I took this one girl on a date. And we went out to this very expensive, resting room, bottom water, because this is what she wanted. She gets shrimp fried rice.

Okay. And then she tells them to add double crab meat. No. Not one. Not one, but it's okay. And the shrimp fried rice already said market price. I'm like, I don't know this market. I don't know how much that is.

You can't do double ads to market price. She did double to market price. But you cannot. So I'm like, if I'm paying for this, I need you to eat every bit of everything. Like I'm a mom at this point. Eat. She wasted it.

She ate half of it. I'm like, so are you gonna take a home? No. No. The crab meat? So what are you gonna do? What have we do the double for? You could have had single.

That's the last bill I paid. No more. If I paid a bill, I need you to eat everything. I see. That's fair. That's the last bill I pay. No more. If I pay it bill I need you to eat everything. I see. That's fair. That's you know that's fair. Yeah. Yeah I'm just telling them I'm luckily I'm making a little money and I'm also just like I'm not making a girl pay personally but I like where your head's at. You know fucking. If you're pursuing her. Yeah sure. But if you're just trying to get sucked off here and there. No yeah yeah yeah. Well baby let's get this to go. Yeah sure. But if you're just trying to get sucked off here and there. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, baby, let's get this to go. Yeah, that's your first mistake is a restaurant by the water.

Oh, that you fucked up. I could tell you're new to dating women. Yes. That's what I left her picket. That's where I'm wrong. I checked the menu. I said, you'll find that you pick it, but yeah, yeah, yeah, she would double up on market price. Of course. No, that's. We didn't check the menu. I said, you'll find that you pick it, but I didn't think she would double up on market price. Of course, no, that's. We didn't even have sex. What do you do? That's unheard of, that's pissing me off. I'm getting mad.

They ordered drinks. It's like, okay, let's get drinks. Didn't they order shots? So it turns into a club. It's like, what? And what if I'm still single, why not? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you need to settle down with a sober woman.

It sounds like some really couple ginger-ales. Yeah, yeah. I'm on a diet. I'm looking for a woman. I want to diet. So you're trying to be single for a while? Because you were in a relationship for a while. You just said what, four years?

Four years. That's four gay years. So that's like, that's like two or three years. That's right. Yeah. Because let's be it's like, move in together after a month. Two days. No, today, a month is marriage. Today is your move. It's because it's like, it's, it's two women. So it's like a friendship. Right. And then lovers at the same time and then all of a sudden, you never want to be a part and it's like, Oh, right. That seems, it seems intense.

And it seems like it's not a lot of, uh's not a lot of like just random, you know, just random hooking up going on in the lesbian community. See, and that's where I come in. Yeah, yeah. I like the Chinese scenario. Yeah. Good for you. Breaking the glass ceiling.

Absolutely. It's not just men they can treat women poorly. No. It's also women with nice glasses and a nice paint. You know what you was getting, too, we seen baby. That is true, it is their fault. You don't look like you might just fucking go, it's true. You got enough rhinestones on your outfits.

Listen, you know what you signed up for. Yeah. I do like, there's another thing I'd want to ask you about because I also love, you know, we've been on so many shows. I feel like, you know, you know, comics that you came up with bits. So I always want to ask, because you have that great bit about when you bought, your first deal though, your first strap on. And I want to, you know, what's the etiquette on buying on size, right?

Because it's like, everyone sure says, oh, if I had a dick it'd be huge, but I think that's kind of laughable. I think everyone's kind of, that's not true. Some people would have a little dick. It just feels like to me that's a little lesbian hubris. This is that you automatically get a huge dick as someone who was assigned my dick

and I can't really do much about it. Sure I'd like it, but you know, so what do you go with dick size wise, do you think? That's why I feel like because men can't pick, I feel like if we're gonna be able to pick, we should be able to pick in the large, you want a guy to see us. I don't wanna get a little dick.

Just guys born a little dick, they didn't pick that. They're not that happy as well. Yeah, yeah, they have to get really good at stand-up comedy. Yeah, you know, it's just, they have to get good at it. You are as a person. Get a personality, sure, sure. I see, you're, it's just kind of the similar thing

with the crab fried rice Yeah, you're gonna spend your money. You're gonna get your money's words Yeah, I went over to the Night and the House side. Did it feel right? It did I later in the buying a smaller dick. Mm-hmm. I met this girl and she's like, I'm not into big dicks. I was like, okay, what then you picked this out? Is she by? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think she was by actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that checks out. And in the binding, and it was when I bought it, I was like, this is just wrong. I felt it. Demoralized buying a little dick. This is unnecessary. Welcome to my world, sister.

I'm glad you felt it a little dick. This is unnecessary. Welcome to my world, sister. I'm glad you felt it for at least one moment. It's carrying us in the register like this. What is the purpose? That's fucking hilarious. And I'm like, it made my legs hurt. Yeah, oh, it had to do a little too much work. It was too small.

You had to raise your hand. It was too long. I'm like, see, we're not going like, Yeah, oh Yeah many can't you know I threw it away, and it said, this is not for me. Yeah. Yeah. Many can't, you know, walk a mile, my shoes. You know what though, but I like that. You have to do it at least once. Yes. I think that's, we should pass it all. Every lesbian, you don't have to stay with a little dick, but you have to try. You have to try it and just know what we go through.

I think it makes you respect me more. Yeah, absolutely. I hadn't been you respect me more. Yeah, absolutely. I hadn't been walking around looking at guys like, he probably has a heart. Yeah, that's beautiful. The little dick community, that's big for the little dick community. Do you have a whole, I talked to somebody at a show, she had like a, like just an audience member.

She said she carried around like a bunch of dillies and like a de-walt toolkit. Like she had like a, she had just like, I don't know, like 10 or whatever, I don't know what's. She had a major selection. Yeah, how does it work? Do you have like a, is it like an armory, like at the bat cave where you just,

you go in and you see all the weapons and shitties ass on the walls? Well I buy them I buy a new one for each girl. Oh that's that's not it. And I like to leave it with her. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah because I feel like if women could keep men dicks they would be happy. Yeah. That's a big problem because they don't know he's going and he has to dig. That's so much stress. That's a good. So I'm like here keep this dick. That's really nice. That's a really nice new one. But that's really nice's so much worse. That's a good one. So I'm like, here, keep this dick. I'm just gonna do one. That's really nice.

That's really nice of you. Yeah. That's true, dude. That's true, dude. That must feel weird. We actually had this conversation with a friend who said he uses the same vibrator. He's used the same vibrator on multiple women. And to me, that seems off.

To me. He has a house vibrator. He uses different girls he was dating. And he would put a condom on it, which is even weird. That's the weirdest part. Yeah. To me, it's like, to me, the only way you can get away with that is if you act like you wanted an araffle. And you know what I mean? If you're like like look, I don't really use it. I don't really have a vibrator around, but I was bingo, I was a sex, I was at an LGBTQ bingo,

and the prize was a vibrator, so why don't we use it? You can't be like, all right, I'm a straight man who just has a vibrator that I use on every woman. It's gotta be fresh for me personally. It's like a lot of money. That's weird, right?

Yeah, I never heard that straight. That's like what a sex worker would do. Like he fucks the way like somebody paid to fuck with, you know, like if he was a male prostitute, he would have a vibrator that he put a condom on and he used on old ladies. That's while he fucked them. It's just bizarre, but he's got a little bit of that in him.

He's got a little like freaking him that I think is dying to get out. I wanted to talk to the woman. Yeah. Because I'm just trying to imagine a vibrator and a condom, and it's just like they're not saying anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No questions.

It sounds like no one ever did, but it's also the kind of thing we're like, once you're in there, it's like, this is kind of weird, but I'm in the moment. I'm in the moment, I gotta fuck. It probably would feel good to get a vibrator on my clit. It's really, it's really, it's really, it's crazy. Yeah, it can be.

You probably get them already in the moon and it's like no questions. Sure, that's the only way you can really go about it. Or the opposite, maybe you're doing such a bad job that they're like, yeah, just bring a phone, I don't give a fuck. Put a condom on it, fine. I just thought I need the bus. Srap it up, yeah, just bring a phone. I don't give a fuck. Put a condom on it, fine. I just thought I need the bus.

Srap it up. Yeah. I need, I must bust. Let's see here. Okay. Well, what do you say we do some fucking questions here, LD? Why don't we, I think we've gotten, I need, this is beautiful,

because I had no idea about the special ed thing, and that was one of the funest, we really dove into special ed in a fun way. But we have, so we're gonna, Paris, we're gonna take some questions here from the audience, they've already called in, and I think they can really use, it's nice to have a, you know, your perspective here.

That's dope. So folks at home, 904 800 stop, call in, if you have questions and we will answer them for you, I'll just hit us with the first one, babe. Hey, so I had a quick question, maybe more of a piece of advice here. I have up until this point in my life maintained a near 100% perfect record for going down in every woman

that I've had sex with except for one obviously you know it's back to you to a car so it just wasn't really conducive to what's the eating. Question is should I go and attempt to see this woman again for one more chance at sex as well as an opportunity to go down in her and maintain my record. Or do I follow my pride and just accept that you can't eat every pussy. Anyway, I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I'm going to ask for this one. So I will, you know, take whatever you have for me. Thanks for calling. Yeah, this is the kind of show that says Paris. And I want to say thanks for calling, and it means a lot

that you would trust me with something like this. First of all, don't make excuses, okay? You could eat and push in that car. You know you could have. You could have given it a couple swipes minimum to maintain the right. Cal Ripken had the most games played ever. He had a couple games where he played one inning

and then they pulled him. And it's still counted as a game played. You could have eaten just a little pussy to keep the record alive. So you know, you fucked up there. But I think you owe it to yourself to give it a shot. I don't know if there's anything wrong with trying to eat this woman's pussy. I mean, unless things have gone very bad with you guys, like, is this years later?

That'd be a little weird, but if there's somebody you kind of saw one time, you guys hooked up in a car, clear there was some chemistry, you know, maybe she'd like to be fucked indoors for a change, you know? She might get something out of this too. You get to eat her pussy, Street, you know, maybe she'd like to be fucked indoors for a change, you know. She might get something out of this too. You get to eat her pussy. She gets to be fucked inside like a human being. I mean, unless you're in like, yeah, you don't sound like you're in high school or anything, but yeah, I don't know. I think he's got to keep the record. What's your perspective here, Paris? I think he absolutely should go back and do it again.

Definitely. Yes. And look, if it doesn't work out, fine, if she says fuck off, if you're a Paris. I think he absolutely should go back and do it again. Yes. And look, if it doesn't work out fine, if she says fuck off, but you at least gave it an honest try and that's what's important here. I think he just need to go in and eat our pussy and understand that every pussy is different. Yeah, sure. So you can't eat this pussy like the last pussy.

Right. Absolutely. That's what interfered. Well, I think for him, it was more, he gave more of a, because they were fucked in the backseat of a car. So it was more of a space issue. It sounds like. That's a better angle. Yeah, yeah. It's intimate and intense and it's direct. You're right. No, you're right. You hear that? You hear that? You're making excuses. Coming stuff. That's going from someone who's whole financial situation has been ruined for

Coming stuff that's going from someone who's whole financial situation has been ruined for Because she started eating pussy So if there's an expert it's her You fucked up you should eat pussy in that camera and now you owe it to this woman and yourself to make up To make up for it 100% here's with another one big-held What do we got here? Staudi Ellis, thanks for having me. I'm currently going through a friendship break up and I would love you guys' input. I went on a six month backpacking trip with my girl and the night before we left my friend got real drunk and was being very rude and disrespectful. I used to probably think things things to my girl like

I'm so sick of you. You're taking my friend away. I would you never came around and then I'd done it his day. I was like and then I got in his state, I was like, what? You're being an asshole, don't be so fucking rude, fuck you. And I left, and we kind of left it on that. No. Then while I was on the trip, he was texting me every day, like, oh, bro, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,

I'm so sorry. What a fucking loser. Before I ended up breaking up with the trick, and then I decided, hey, fuck it out. I won't hold a grudge, I'm to forgive this guy so I come home after a while I meet up with the guy and he sits me down and he says oh by the way I was never even sorry I'm really proud! I think it's important to speak my truth and it blew me away because I realized, oh man,

this guy was just giving me a lift service the whole time. And he's delusional. I thought he's delusional. A few things that getting hammered drunk and boiling my girlfriend was like, some therapy, do you know what I'm saying? Standing up for himself. So I got heated and I haven't spoken to him since then.

We got a lot of mutual friends. And they all want me to watch the beat and move forward. And, you know, he's been reaching out to me a bunch, but I don't know if I should forgive him or not, and I would love you guys to input. All right, much love. Thanks guys. Crazy.

And saying. Truly fucking insane. I mean, this guy, I mean, he sounds young, right? So like, here's my read on the situation. This guy, they're like fresh out of college. It sounds like he said he's going, what do you say, a backpacking trip? So that's kind of like a young,

that's like an early 20s move, I see like us, backpacking across Europe type thing. That's not something you do. Like, you know, when you're, when you're Europe type thing. That's not something you do, like, you know, when you're really an adult, that's what you do. You know what I mean? Like, you do that shit right before life starts. So this kid is, they're probably immature, right?

And he's going through this, like, I think this also is a thing that does happen when people have like different levels of maturity where it's like, this kid is a little, his friend that like said yelling at this woman at the guy he, girl he's dating is like, that's so pathetic and lame to be like, like look, we've all had those feelings of when like,

when you transition out of childhood, when you're like best friends, the most important people in your life are your same sex best friends. If you're a heterosexual, you know what I mean? Or whoever your best friends, the most important people in your life are your same sex best friends. If you're a heterosexual, you know what I mean? Or whoever your best friends are. But like your boys matter to you so much from the age of like 14 to like 22.

And then there's always the first person in the friend group that gets a girlfriend. And like he makes the jump. And to him, his partner is more important than his boys for the first he's felt you know and the other guys haven't had that feeling yet and they don't understand that that's how life works and they take it personal. Clearly that's what this fucking guy did right he's taking the shit personally and but to react that way to yell it, to yell it the girl when you're drunk

in a way that not to be stereotypical here seems like you are a gay guy. Like you know what I mean? Like how dare you take my friend away. Like that's, this feels like that's something that a guy that's in love with you does. Now I don't think that's really what's going on here. I think he's probably just a fucking idiot.

But for them to be like, so the first move is crazy. It's so pathetic and weird to do that. But then to be like, I was never sorry after all. That's why I'm confused. That's like, that's actually the part that makes me feel like he's gay more than anything. That's like, that's like how a gay guy on a bravo show, you know, like behaves. And by the way, I was thinking at the whole time, like that's

crazy. Why would you even say that? Even if you were lying, now that you're friend, now that you got what you want, now you also have to be like, oh, and by the way, I didn't, so this guy seems like he's fucking all over the place. Like he's at a, like, I don't know. Um, and also I have a bunch of friends that want me to squash the beef. This, that all of this feels like right after college. Because you know, how many like college friend groups, like, there's a guy that you realize is a fucking idiot when you don't get, there's always the classic guys from cause like the one guy who's the funnest guy idiot when you don't get. There's always the classic guy from Cosmic. The one guy who's the funnest guy in college, you're 25. He's actually, oh it turns out he's an alcoholic.

That's right. That's why he was so fun and college. It's because he was just got fucked. He was always the guy getting fucked up. I'm gonna go hang out with Frank. Frank's always fucking drunk. And that's like, dude Frank keeps getting fired. He owes so much child support.

Like, he just gets drunk all the time. This feels a little like, you have to, I think, this feels a little bit like, you shed people from college and you shed people at every point in your life. You grow, you become a different person, you realize like, oh yeah, guys that I really liked are people that I really liked in my life. I don't need them anymore or they're weird or they're like, they're, what's, their issues don't come up

until you have real life stresses or, you know, just for, and even if it's not anything bad, you could just grow apart from someone. This guy just feels like kind of an asshole and it feels like you have to think, like, do I want this person in my life? Is this friend group that important to me?

Do I want, if they fuck with this guy this hard, do I want them in my life? And if the answer's yes, or you could be like, look, we can be friends, but we have to really talk this out. Like what you said was unacceptable. And like, and then you claiming you weren't sorry is really fucking weird because take away whatever you did. Now you're just being disingenuous to me.

You know what I mean? Like that in and of itself is a big issue. So I think if you wanted to, you could have one more conversation with this guy and give him the opportunity to actually truly apologize and give him one more shot. And then if he ever acts like this again, you could just be like, never mind, fuck you.

You don't have to though, you could certainly just cut this guy off. And my hunch is, if you have this hard to heart with this guy, he's gonna end up doing this kind of fuck shit anyway. It's just gonna be six months later, a year later, whatever the fuck. But that's my perspective, I don't know. Oh yeah, I think you have to set boundaries. And I feel like is he still with the girlfriend?

No, he broke up with her. He broke up with the girlfriend. So the girl's not even really an issue anymore, the issue is just him behaving like this as a friend, right? I don't know. Have you had any big friend breakups? I think sometimes people just grow apart. I don't think it's like personal.

It doesn't even have to get to this point, but if it gets to this point, I feel like you can give it time and if it comes back around, but I think the other friends saying they should squash it, he didn't do this to the other friends. Right, right, right. So it's like, you can't tell me how to feel. What did this to me?

Absolutely. But he seems repetitive. So I feel like even if you give it another chance, just set boundaries and know it may or may not happen again. Yeah. But don't be shocked. Right. That's a good point.

If you want to back in your life, don't be shocked if you behave this fucking stupid. And then also if that's grounds for being like, all right man, I gave you a shot, you keep back like this, get the fuck out. That's fine too. But yeah, there's also a good middle ground of like, have them in your life,

but understand who he is. Which I have problems with, I'm a, I love cutting people off. I love it. I'm sorry, I love it. I don't want to understand. It's like either we, just, can we please go on the same page? I don't want to have to deal with anything fucking annoying.

I've definitely been the driving force in like, eldest and other friends, where it's like, people being annoying from college and I'm like, fuck that guy. Yeah? Don't speak to him, he sucks. That's definitely my thing. I don't know, have you had any big ones eldest

if you had any like big, anything, anyone you can think of or. Oh, I really, I've had like one big cut off but I kind of squashed it after a wall too. Yeah because it's like who cares. I'm certain point it really is who cares. We're like it's 10 years after the same. Yeah, it just it just feels weird to like not speak to someone at all who you're like so close. But, you know, I don't know. Yeah, at the end of the day, I feel like fuck them. But yeah, I get where you're saying.

I feel like when you cut someone off and just cold ice them, no heads up, no nothing, it's not good to carry that around. Especially if you do have mutual friends at the very least it requires a conversation or something. So I don't know. Yeah, that's true. But in this situation, our friend is not.

He didn't cold cut him off. There's clearly multiple reasons here. So you're fine either way, buddy. We gave you a couple of options here. It's whatever feels right to you. We have like, we've got this beautiful, I'm the most extreme, Paris is kind of in the middle and all this is nice.

You do have, you know what I mean? All for cutting people off, but it sounds like he cares about it. Yeah, that's true. So if you care, I feel like you have to accept, though, do you get, I feel like you have to accept people for who they are? And with that, you have to set boundaries

because clearly they're not similar. Right, no, that's a good point. And setting ground is something I fucking only realized like three years ago, like I would just be pissed off. And so, you know what I mean? It's like, it's so helpful, it's so nice to just be like, this is acceptable. You can just do this and you cannot do this.

And then if someone crosses that shit, then you know that they're being assholes or they're being manipulative or whatever the fuck here's with another one big eldest Stavvy baby So fun saying this past weekend LA great show Thank you. So, my question today is, I'm 30 now. I am wanting to explore and I'm a world curious for our sexual experiences, and I want to,

you know, go to some play parties, like see what it's about. Maybe bring some more people into the mix. And it's been my experience before, about waiting too long to ask a boyfriend or a partner to join you for this kind of thing. You can best fire. So now I'm bringing it up a little bit earlier when I'm dating. And my overwhelmingly response has been that their ego can't just crumble. You can't find

me, you know, when I like their idea out there. And of course I do kind of get off on that however the goal is I do want to find a guy that really just loves watching another guy suck me in front of him and then has his way for you too. So what should I do? What am I doing wrong? What am I doing right? What do you think, Kathy? Think I'm such a big guy. Oh look, let's not get crazy here. You are asking a guy to watch... You're asking a guy you're dating to let you fuck a guy while he watches and him having a negative opinion, I wouldn't exactly categorize that as his ego crumbling.

I think he's got a pretty nice point being like, that sounds actually like it sucks. So let's just, let's take a little bit of the judgment away from that, you know, some, you know, call him crazy, but most guys don't really want to watch their wife get fucked by some guy. So, but also, no judgment to them, but no judgment to either. You know what you like, you want something,

and I think what you're doing right is having these conversations earlier, because here's the thing. There are people out there that are into this. I have friends who are like, who are super open, who are like, you know, they literally want this kind of thing and they wanted as part of a They want their partner to watch them fuck other people and they want to fuck people together and it's all you know People are out there. Is it a smaller percentage?

Then are the guys that are not that pumped more? More of the people Yes, there are more guys that don't want to watch their wife get fucked than do, but they're still out there. So what you're doing right, you just got to bring this up early. You're in LA, there's a bunch of fucking freaks out there. Isn't there, isn't there a fucking, where's that field? We've talked about this. I haven't been on it, but I have friends who are, I got to get on there. It seems like it's pretty easy to get pussy on that app, but field, it's like a, it's like an app. It's kind of especially for this, like for open, for like,

like a kink app. A kink tinder basically. Yeah. Yeah. So that, you know, that exists. Yeah, so I think that's what you're doing right. And look, yeah, you don't want to, you definitely don't want to have someone who thinks he's in a completely different relationship. And then two years in, he's like, hey, his girlfriend's like, hey, how about I fuck some guy? And not only that, but you have to be there. You understand it's enough of an ask to be like, can I fuck another guy? But oh, by the way, would you mind watching? You're really kind of, that's a hard one.

I can say for me, look, I'm no prude. I'm not interested in seeing my wife get fucked in front of me. What can I say? That's just the kind of guy I am. What I think it's cool. And even like, because I've dated people who are into like, they want to go to sex parties and want to do this shit.

But it's like, look, that's not me. And you know what I mean? And it's like, you know, I just, for me, I'm just like so, like, I don't know, maybe it's also because like, as a performer is like, somebody whose life you're being observed at all times, I'm like, can I have one thing that's mine?

I gotta, I have to worry about bombing while I fuck. Like, I don't want that, right? Like, I really don't want that. And like, you know, but, you know, so, I think, but you definitely can find those guys out there, just be very, you know, a fourth right about it. And like, you know, go to these play, maybe you meet people at this party, go on that app.

I know, I know for a fact, there's people who do this, this kind of shit in LA big time. So yeah, this is just, you know, trying to trojan horse, someone into getting cucked is not the way to do it. Don't fucking be in a regular relationship and then be like, hey, can I, can you, would you mind if I cuck you afterwards?

Find someone who's into that kind of thing straight up, it would be my advice. I agree. Yeah. Kind of wild. But yeah, that's not my, Eldest, would you ever not get cucked? Definitely, you couldn't handle that,

but would you go to like a sex party? No, I don't think so. Maybe to like to walk around. Yeah. But just see it in person. I'm sure of it. Because some of those when you see them on shows or something, it is like, you know,

some people are getting their cocks sucked in the hot tub with a bunch of people hanging around. But some people are just eating finger sandwiches and trying to get a nice glass of percent of medical. So that's true. Weirdly very open, sexually, but also like, hey, you don't have to fuck, you can just chill out and talk about your job

with some weird married couple. Yeah, that's true. Have you ever been to any of those? I haven't been. I think I'm gonna start going. Not to have sex just to observe. Yeah, just to observe. Just to do shromes and look around.

I don't feel like the person that get people started on sex, then I just walk on. That's pretty fun. Yeah, that's what. Just to do shromes and look around. I don't know like the person that get people started on sex, then I just walk all the hell. That's pretty fun. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Yeah, shromes in an orgy's a hilarious move. You know what I mean? Who knows how those ships hit you?

But that's true. I have a friend who she was talking about. There's like a sex club in somewhere in Canada. She talks talks about, she was telling me how like, her and her friends go, because like it's cheaper for girls to go because every sex club shockingly needs more women. But she was saying how they had a pool and that like it's actually the cheapest pool

that you have access to in her city. So they pay like either it's free for women to get in or there's some nominal charge. And her and her friends just go sit by the pool topless. Don't fuck anyone. Just kind of have a nice time by the pool. And it's like, and they're open. Like she, this, this friend of mine is in an open relationship. So, you know, she's not a prudither, but you can absolutely just go and just chill chill at the sex club but that's my advice to you my my freaky sultry voice friend. Hi Stavvy, I'm Deek and I'm the show I watch every single episode so here's it.

Thank you. I got out of a relationship a five month ago after a year, that was a very toxic, crazy and thing relationship. The guy in the love life going through his day classes because he was going to grow up all the time and he would like to choose something that they haven't done, like, besides everything else that he'd done. Anyway, I broke up with him a five month and it's been two months that I'm seeing this other guy. He's a very sweet loving-changing guy, at least I think he is, but I have this fear that what if because my elacolusia was so bad that I see you like you good, you know?

Because he's not as crazy or he's not like that. What he's like, I'm just settling for something that is just not crazy, I don't know. I really have a good reference for what a good relationship is. I'm very scared. So, help me tell me what you're a good guy dies, that shows that he actually cares about someone. Thank you. Bye. Yeah, then you got your head all fucked up in that last relationship for sure. That's tough. I don't know. Have you had any real fucked up relationships that just kinda, just kinda like did a little damage?

I think as far as trust, but never to the point where I'm like, well the next relationship. I don't put what problems I went through in one thing and another thing. I feel like it's something, it comes from healing though. I think after a deep bad toxic,

you have to heal from it. So you won't carry the baggage to the next relationship. Yeah, yeah, that's key. And I think the number one thing I'm picking up from this cause that she hasn't healed, right? Like she's clearly got fucked up by this thing. And then it was two months ago. And maybe the answer is you're

just not ready to date anyone seriously because maybe a little bit of yeah, you still need some time to recover. I mean, if it was that bad relationship, I don't know if you're in therapy, but it sounds like therapy might be useful for you because you're talking about your baselines all fucked up. You don't even know if someone, you can't trust, it's clear that you got so fucked up in that relationship, that you can't even trust that someone being nice to you doesn't have ulterior motives or isn't doing it in a manipulative way, right?

Like that's what I'm getting here is that she's, she's a worried that this could be another weird toxic relationship, or she's also worried that it's not good enough, which is a little weird on its own. If you're happy and things are feeling good, then why always look for the thing. That's a big problem. My having a relationship is that I always kind of look for the problem, and that's something I'm trying to work on, and just try like, when I'm happy in a relationship,

don't think about potential issues. Just have a good time until a real issue happens and then deal with it when it shows up. So it sounds like you need a little bit of, sounds like you need a little bit of time to just kind of think about this stuff and reset a little bit. My advice would be if you were in a, if something that feels like a good relationship

and you don't just wanna break up with this person because someone on a podcast bit, my advice would be if you were in something that feels like a good relationship and you don't just wanna break up with this person because someone on a podcast said, you need some time to heal, which is very valid, right? If you don't wanna break up with them, then just go about thing, don't get ahead of yourself. But the moment you feel a real problem definitely act on it or break up or whatever you want to do. But until then, if this person is nice and it feels good, I wouldn't worry about settling

or something, just because your last leg was so bad, just feel how you feel. You're so worried about being manipulated by that last person that you're worried that he's continuing to manipulate you by giving you such a fucked up relationship that you'll end up in a worse one. So, to me, it does sound like maybe you need to kind of take some time for yourself, heal, go to therapy, talk this through, it sounds like there's some major issues with your last relationship and maybe you're not ready, but if you don't feel like, you know, and I'm not saying you should end this relationship, but you could still work on those problems while you're in a different relationship. But to me, I'm a big therapy advocate here on this show. And this feels like the kind of thing

therapy can help with, in my opinion. Um, relationship stuff, it kind of helps, I think the most with those and maybe family stuff in my experience anyway. I agree, and I think take a slow. Just no expectations. Totally, that's just coming in, just taking a slow, taking it for what it is. Spending time with someone enjoying it, but yeah, that's good. Yeah.

Yeah. Elders, what about you, you ever had a fucked up relationship? Nothing crazy. It's a little, you know, early 20s dysfunction, all the little things. Elders what about you ever had a fucked up relationship then nothing nothing crazy so little You know early 20s dysfunction Wild that then wild nobody fucking keyed your car. No This isn't being forthright folks Mr. Sula's not being honest with you not like your friend Stavros and Paris This isn't being forthright folks.

Mr. Sula's not being honest with you, not like your friend, Stavros and Paris. But all right, we'll move on. We'll move on. Hey, Stav, hail this big center of the show. I'm calling in because for the past few years, I've been working for my two best friends doing music audio, work stuff, and some other creative design, shit for them. And I've been, it's been a really comfortable job. I make a decent living, but it's extremely unfulfilling.

That's my friend sort of like, get paid everything in a very autocratic way. I very little creative input on what I do and feel like I've been burned and undermined in several ways during the job. So, and I even moved to a new city for this. And they've been, I've been miserable the whole time. And I finally decided I'm going to move back to LA, which they're pretty much cool with. I'm turning 31, so it's made me think about what I want to do on-term with my life and thinking about doing freelance for audio, music audio, visual design stuff. And I look at you and be the successful independent artist.

And I know how hard that is, my brothers and independent artists, but at least I could be in control of my own life instead of living to someone else's dream. I've got a hundred ten in the bank, equity from this company. I've been working for, I feel like it makes sense to take the risk and do my own thing but I could be making mistake leaving a safe job and maybe fixing my friends off. So, sorry if I'm giving eldest any big ideas. I love you guys. All right, bye. Eldis, delete this right now. I can't help it with a voice, my brother. Can I just say it's disgusting how disloyal you are

to your friend working hard, giving you a hundred K in the bank, one to bite the hand of these you. No, no, Eldis knows he's fucked. One to bite the hand of these you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha big ideas from this guy. Oh, this just starts sitting up every fucking TikTok comedian. It's like I have some experience with Stavis. I don't know if you've seen his page. I'd love to dig to create some crowdwork content for you. My portfolio slips of you talking to people about eating their wife's pussy

Here's my resume with like typos in the caps Here's my resume. It's my fat friend accusing four guys in Atlanta being gay with each other No, but yeah, I mean this is This is the classic I think it's the classic dilemma of like safety and like, you know, a good, a good, uh, living or a risk and like not, not having any regrets. Now, look, clearly you called into the show and I squarely always am on the side of give it a shot. You can always find a regular ass job.

You can always go back to that. Maybe not with your friends, right? Maybe you burned that bridge at that company. But also I don't think you'd piss them off if you were like, hey guys, I've been working here for a while and I wanna do my own thing. If your friends get pissed off at that, they're not your friends to begin with.

Now it might be a little difficult, there might be some tension in the workplace, there might be, especially if you help them transition, you out, I don't see any issue long term if they're really your friends. You know, me and the kinds of people I have on the show for the most part, we're all people who did take that risk and who couldn't imagine having a regular ass job.

Right. Which is, you know, definitely how I feel. And I think you owe it to yourself to give it a try. You have a little money saved up. Now, you need a plan. Don't get me wrong. Like, did he scroll down on us? Did he say what?

He just wants to be freelance right now, basically. And do you think about what's happening? For audio music, audio visual design stuff, yeah. So, yeah dude, look, you gotta have a plan. You know the industry, you've been working in it for a while. You have to be realistic with yourself. It's one thing to be like, I can't stand taking orders and I can't stand having no artistic control.

I'm just gonna fucking quit and I can't stand having no artistic control. I'm just going to fucking quit and I'm just going to put, you know, I'm going to make my money. How? How are you going to do it? Where are you freelancing? Could you kind of start freelancing while you still have the job? Could you work? What a lot of people do?

Like we all had day jobs. When I started when I started stand up, I worked nights and weekends. I did my passion nights and weekends. Could you do that? Could you really, could you start, could you just start the way everybody starts their side, as a side hustle, and then test the waters, grow it out, see if you can expand the business.

But I'm always in favor of doing that. My little brother, a good example, is like, my little brother is a trainer at a gym and, you know, he was working, he was making good money in his industry, but he wanted to start his own thing. And I was like, fuck it, let's do it. I went into business with him.

And because like, there's nothing more exciting for me than like seeing somebody get an opportunity to do that. And that's such a fucked up thing in America where it's like, the so few people have the expendable income to start their own thing or to do, to starting a business. Like the thing, the proudest I've been in my career with anything I've done is helping my brother

start his business because he was really talented, but because, you know, before I got lucky and made a little money in comedy, he wouldn't have had a way to do that. A rich guy would have just had him buy the balls, and he would have just had the fucking work for him forever. Sounds like you've got the opportunity to kind of at least give it a shot.

And here's the other thing, if you give it a shot, and it doesn't work out, you will never wonder. The wonder will kill you. Being a fucking old guy and being like, what if I gave it a, you know, what, why didn't I ever do it? Could I have done it? That's what kills you.

Knowing you failed, knowing you didn't have what it takes. Honestly, it's not, that's not bad. That's, you gave it a shot. That's a worthwhile pursuit. And you're like, yeah, I tried. I was pretty good, but not good enough. This is better for me and I do my own shit on the weekends if I feel like it.

It will always be that what each way will be like wondering if it could have happened. So you go, you give it a shot, it doesn't work out, not the end of the world, but staying where you're clearly unhappy. That's not helping you either. But, you know, do it slow, make sure you have a plan, start it as a side hustle, and then see if it can grow into But, you know, do it slow, make sure you have a plan, start it as a side hustle,

and then see if it can grow into your own thing. And also, I would also say make sure you're not unhappy about something else. Because a lot of people can blame their jobs about shit, but like, you know, maybe you're the rest of your life fucking sucks dick too. You know what I mean? Like, maybe, maybe, like, you know,

yeah, I mean, you said you didn't like the city you were in, moving back to LA is big. Will that be, will that improve your happiness? Are you in a bad relationship? You know what I mean? There's a lot of factors, because look, the other thing is a lot of people are just kind of happy in a regular-ass job.

It's also very stressful to do your own thing. Like, it's like, sometimes you have a ton of money, sometimes you have negative money, you don't know when the next thing's coming. Like, it's like sometimes you have a ton of money, sometimes you have negative money, you don't know when the next thing's coming. Like, as much as I value freedom, some people, I value freedom, and I'm okay in high stress environments, and some people just aren't.

And sometimes it's like, that's a lot of pressure to deliver, especially like, you know. So, especially if you have projects that are fully up to you or people, you know, Albanian mouths to feed, what happens to final cell tickets? It's fucking guys on the street. You know what I mean? Not everyone can deal with that kind of pressure. So, there's pros and cons.

There's pros and cons to everything. But you have to, I think it sounds like you owe it to yourself to give it a little shot here. It's kind of how I see the thing. Yeah, at least try. Yeah. At least, that's the least you can do. Give it a shot for a year or two. Did you ever have like a, were you ever like thinking like, alright, I'll see what happens. Do you have like a, if I don't make it by this, or if I'm not doing it by this, did you have any kind of backups or anything like that? Or I didn't have backups, but I always I'm not doing it by this, did you have any kind of backups or anything like that? Or...

I didn't have backups, but I always was like, the least I can do is try. Like, because when you tried, then you can figure out where you went wrong, at least if you went wrong, but it's like, you don't regret it later. At least you sit back on it, went all along, and like, at least I did it. Of course, yeah.

And I don't know if you feel this way, but I remember, I mean, I just kind of like, I was 19 doing open mics, and I blinked, and I was't know if you feel this way, but I remember I mean I just kind of like I was 19 doing open mics and I blinked and I was 33 You know what I mean? We're just like well, I don't have any fucking choice now Yeah, no you can't turn back. I feel like once you get so comfortable with being independent It's kind of hard to go back under someone's rules. Oh, yeah for sure For sure it would take a real big payday for us to fucking and even then we really still be happy Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure for sure it would take a real big payday for us to fucking And even then we really still be happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it would have to be so much money that you would have to have an annoying

Few years and then can retire But yeah just try just give it a shot. What do you think Elders? Yeah, do it especially if if he's doing what he's doing, like audio, what do you say? Audio visual shit like yeah, move to LA and fucking do that shit. He'll fucking fall into so many jobs out there doing that shit. No problem. Probably. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's scary, but I mean, I feel like starting a company with your friends is also scary. True. I know when I when I quit my job and started working with you the night before I mean, I feel like starting a company with your friends is also scary. True.

I know when I quit my job and started working with you, the night before I quit, like, I always, I was like my girlfriend's parents house. And I like couldn't sleep and I prefer just nervous because I just had a job at a college. Yeah. And my legs were literally wobbly. I was like, look at myself in the bathroom here. And I was

like, what the fuck is going on? I know. I had to drag this motherfucker kicking and streaming. I'd already be rich, successful. He took no risks ever. He just got luck getting one of work with a stranger. And he was still sweating. See, Elvis could never handle it. You know what I mean? Like, but yeah, fucking do it. Yeah, dude. If you're not happy what you're doing, like just do it, it'll be fine with your friends. They'll understand and let's do dickheads.

And if they don't, they're dickheads. Yeah. Let's do one more call. But before we do, let's get you to plug some stuff, Pat, you're going on tour. Going on tour, you know. Toxic masculinity tour. Hahaha. Bringing the honesty that these women need.

Hahaha. You know what you was getting so mad. Hahaha. Hahaha. That's fucking awesome. Ah, yeah. That's awesome. Follow me.

Yeah, where can they, where can they find you? At Paris At Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, we're gonna find you at Paris, I say P.A. R.S.S.S. H.A.Y. The tickets on my website official Paris I say calm Instagram Yeah, great. Go see Paris live Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna love it. She's coming. She's coming all over the place Nice big nice big fall tour for her.

We're also on tour, Stavvy.biz, for tickets. You know that by now. And yeah, follow Paris, see you're live, support everybody you see on the show. We only bring our friends here at Stavvy's World, only people we vouch for. All right, I'll just play us off with one nice final call here.

We may have just a call for you here, Paris. Oh, let's do it. Hi, Sally. You are one of the favorite people. I love you, Dislike. I love you, Vibe. I would love to know your perspective or this, but it's like, I feel like it's very normal in American culture for men to just like really fixate on like really, really young women, like the closer to 18, the better. And it's all wrong. the closer to 18, the better. And the closer the problem the better. And like, oh no, lately I've been in this.

It's hard for me to not see it all around me. And like, I just feel like I live in this culture where like low-key, like, my pedophilia, and like the pedophiliaic type thoughts are really normal. And I don't know, this has been a woman just like watching men engage with me to this one all the time. It's been very hard and uncomfortable. And I'm like, I'm like wanting to not heat men. And I'm like, I'm not, I'm like wanting to not heat. But sometimes it's hard. How do I not hate men in this world? Sure, it's a lot of me.

Help a girl out. You might be the only one for the job right now. Thank you. Love you. Thank you. Yes. Hey, look, I don't, you know, I want to tell us as an 18-year-old, who's dating grown men?

Why don't you provide that perspective, Paris? And then I'll provide mine. Oh, first of all, she said, how do she not hate men in this world? As a lesbian. It's easy to not hate them. She's not deal with them. Yeah. It's not that hard.

But, ah! So the problem is that she's upset that men are dating women closer to 18. Yeah, like young girls, young women. But at least they're 18. At least they're 18. At least they're 18. Yes.

But I think that older men date younger women because they don't have the mature about dating younger women. Yes. When you date older women, you have the mature. Sure. So less stakes. Right, they don't want to grow up. Then they just have to mature. Sure. So less stakes. Right, they don't want to grow up.

Then they just go to what's impressive. But 18 year old is impressed by a lot. She doesn't know anything. Yeah, and look, your instincts to, like, yeah, there's two things, right? Like you said, at least they're 18. And at a certain point, it's like, you just gotta be like, if it's legal,

at a certain point you just gotta make a cutoff and be like, look, that's not how I'd operate, but it's like fine, do your own thing, right? Like the way people behave, people do a lot of shit that, you know, I don't approve of, right? But it's like, I'm not gonna let it get, you know, get all worked up about it.

But what you just said is absolutely right, where it's like, yeah, it's easier to date somebody younger. And so for you to think like, you know, just to find that behavior annoying or you know, not, you know, not approve of it, certainly that's very reasonable for you to feel that way. But it's also, you know, not to do hashtag not all men. But it's like, don't deal with the ones that date,

18, 20, whatever year olds, right? That's not your cup of tea. Fine, fuck those guys, just plenty of other people that, unless I don't understand, is she, you're not around that age and are mad that old guys are hitting on you, right? It's like, I was thinking that at first, but I didn't wanna say that, I don't understand, is she, you're not around that age and are mad that old guys are hitting on you, right? It's like, I was thinking that at first, but I didn't wanna say that, I don't know.

It doesn't seem like that, really. I mean, I think she did mention something a little at the end about like, she just looks at every interaction with men through this lens. Right. But I think she's just like, this is a more abstract, like, she's just like frustrated with youth obsessed borderline

pedophilia. Which I get the frustration, right? That's absolutely, you know. But also it's like on the flip side of a pair, it's like, you know, sometimes people are adults consending adults and some 18 year olds want to date older men, right? Like you had pairs trying to pay her

cricket wireless bill. That's fine. Listen. You know, I tell those bills. I didn't get it. 10th grade. He doesn't have any money. But it's dad does and we need his bail. All right. Not 10th grade. Let's actually, let's say senior year. Yeah. But in this special end though, you could be 18 and 10th grade. They don't kick you out

of special M624. But yeah, it's like, so on some level, it's like, look, there's guys who are gonna want to fuck these women. There's gonna, these women who are looking for an older guy, whatever, and I get feeling like it's unseemly, right? But at the end of the day, it's like, that's what they, with both these people want that and no one's really hurting anyone.

Now, that's not to say that a lot of these, so a nice chunk of these relationships aren't weird and there isn't some kind of, you know, quasi abusive situation going there, but some of them there aren't. And at a certain point, you just gotta be like, that's fucking weird, I don't want any part of it, but it's like the way I look at burning, man.

It's like, hey, that's fucked up. I want nothing to do with that. I'm not hanging out with those fucking guys. No thank you. But do whatever the fuck you want in the desert, I think you kind of have to look at it the same way. But I mean, you're not wrong in the frustration, I think you kind of have to look at it the same way. But I mean, you're not wrong in the frustration. Just look for people that, you know,

look for people that you don't. It's also like, what are you gaining out of fixating on this? It's just like personal negativity that you're just mad about an abstract bad thing in the world. And look, the reality is there's a lot of abstract bad shit in the world. So you can't just be thinking of one.

Now it'd be a different thing if like you or your little sister or someone was getting like, you know, you felt like somebody close to you was in one of these weird relationships that you didn't approve of. That's different. But to let something anything in the abstract bother you this much?

I don't know, if we were picking abstract things to worry about, there's much shittier things. There's mud, there's, you know, people getting really fucking, you know, there's genocides and shit that we don't even cover. You know, there's, there's so much shit that like, just treat it like it's something you fucking hate and just don't, you know, don't deal with it and Understand that in some cases it's like both these people want this and even though you don't approve Hey, whatever, you know, it's their lives and you know It's maybe some and some of these are sad, but what are you gonna do? You know, you can't just be getting can't be getting pissed off about everything that sucks in the world You can't just be getting pissed off about everything that sucks in the world.

But your feelings are understandable, but just don't let it just bum you out in perpetuity. Yeah, and just don't date the guys to date them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of grown women, they only date grown women. It's okay. Yeah, exactly. Find them.

Find them, those are your guys. Do we have a short fun one to go out on, or are we doing this one where this woman sounds really depressed? Do we want an update? Sure, let's do an update, and then we'll say goodbye to our to the next slide. with Caitlin Palouso on your Patreon and somebody called in and asked where to meet hot chubby golf chicks and he left out one crucial piece of advice for last shows.

I know so many hot chubby golf girls that either do or go to for last shows and I don't know man I think you need to throw that out there and give that little piece of advice to many of your fans that also want to bag themselves a hot chubby gauze chick. So what the show can we see in Philly in August and or like November? Okay, we see in Philly in November. All right, have a good one. Bye. All right, thank you for calling in. On K-Lens episode last week, a caller asked where to find chubby gauze the transcript, it says golf, but Goth chicks. And, you know, Burlesque is a good route, actually. I never thought of that.

You know, get in there. You do, you know, you can definitely find some, but I don't know if they're the exact type of Goth girl he wants. These feel like theater goth girls, not burlesque anyway, not like dangerous, you know what I mean? I feel like burlesque is a little bit like roller derby girl

like territory. But there is a big overlap though. There is. Actually the roller derby is not bad either, Elders. Did we say roller derby? We may have said that. So yeah, burlesque works, but absolutely. It's certainly a type of, it's maybe a softer goth girl,

not as dangerous, not into as much like Halloween shit. I think she is right there. Probably is like a lot of overlap. Plenty of overlap and you're right. Thank you so much for calling it. Thank you for being a Patreon member and thank you for buying tickets to the Met in Philadelphia.

We'll be there in November. Just out of the second show, folks. Go buy your fucking tics but that's gonna do for us Paris thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Such a fun episode. Yeah yeah yeah yeah go see Paris live and we will be back soon with another episode guys I believe yeah I won't say who it is we don't know the order yet but we'll talk to you soon bye bye Bye-bye. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries.

So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms

and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the

most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Remember, one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.