Stavvy's World - #32 - Rosebud Baker

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

Rosebud Baker joins the show to discuss expecting her first child, craving vapes while pregnant, her illuminati family and intense father, and much more. Rosebud and Stav help callers including a guy who's humblebragging about his life under the guise of being concerned for his loser brother, and a guy who's wondering if it's bad etiquette to ask for alterations at his favorite Lebanese and Thai restaurants. Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at patreon.com/stavvysworld  Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. 9-0-4800 stop all in and solve all your problems Very thrilled to have our our pal Rosebud Baker our first pregnant Guest first Yeah, we did have the person who impregnated you on the show We've had both we've had both don't where he was on the patreon So we've had both. We've had both. Don't worry, he was on the Patreon. Okay, good.

This is really... Yeah. See? The way it broke out, you will be on the free episodes. He was on the Patreon. Okay. Andy, we didn't mean it this way. We're sorry.

It's not. I know this feels like what your whole life is like. Think of it this way. Think of it this way, Andy. He's somebody's making money on you. All right. You'll come back on the free one to plug the new podcast. Somebody's making money on you. All right. You'll come back on the free one to plug the new podcast.

We didn't plan it that way, it just happened. All right, what do you want? It's going to be so good. This is what happens. Andy gets one win. Yeah. One win. And it's an immediate out.

And then you come up over the top. He's just, he was killing with the baby nurse earlier today during the interview. And now, you guys got yourselves a little Caribbean baby nurse. Yeah, you were, all day you were interviewing nurses. Ugly baby nurses. Ugly baby nurses. Making sure they're all ugly.

There will be no hot nannies in my house. It is a very classic trope, the cheating within Annie. It is a classic trope and also like, it's just so perfectly set up for Andy. Yeah. Like if he did it, I would understand. Right, right, right. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. Cause I'm not an easy person to live with. Sure. And if I was married to me, and there was some hot 25 year old, like sort of traipsing around. Sure. And I was Andy, I'd be like, you know what,

fuck it, she deserves this. I can't. She comes in, she makes both your lives easier. Yeah. Takes care of the baby, makes breakfast every once in a while. She's agreeable, she just, anything Andy says, she agrees and she giggles. I mean, it's gonna be rock hard from the second.

Right. It doesn't even, like, yeah. Even getting an ugly one, I'm like that's not well That's the white the insurance I need but that's another that's a good question because now let's say you get the ugly one Does it feel worse if he ends up cheating with an ugly one? Absolutely You're kind of you're sort of it's high risk. I reward my personality is worse than that Her face. Her face.

Never weathered face. Fuck. Interesting. Well, I hope if it does have been you guys come here on Stobby's World to really hash it out. Yeah, absolutely. We're coming. We're the first place we come.

Yeah, fuck, fuck couples therapy. No, no, no, come here. Yeah. That one, Andy, that one's going on the main one. I can promise you that. We do an Oprah episode. No, no, no, no, come here. Yeah. I envy that one's going on the main one. I can promise you that. You can do an Oprah episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to transition into that.

Yeah. Just kind of like help my friends who, any married friends I have, any who they've come on the show separately, will come on here, it'll be. Anyone who's fucked, they're ugly, Nanny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just any comedienne going through something major you want to,

if we'll use your personal life for Clicks that's great. We'll use it to yeah to sell ads basically I mean how's that any different than what we've been doing our whole not no not different at all I'm just helping out a friend. I'm just kind of asking to take advantage of you directly Is kind of go for it. That's basically it go for it. You got the audience. We need to use It's a perfect fucking marriage. It's better than our marriage. I think so.

It makes more sense. It didn't happen during the pandemic. This was really planned out. You know what I mean? It was in the middle of a whole, you know. Yeah, it wasn't some traumatic life shit that just led to an insane decision. Yeah.

Get married in a park with N95s. No, we thought about starting this podcast. This was planned. It was prepped. Yeah. It was a bit was there was an insurance policy built in. Sure, sure. Yeah. How's it so how far along are you now?

I'm 26 almost 26 weeks. So like in regular person time, that's six months. Okay. So I have like three months left. Okay, I'm sure. And I don't know why they like break it into weeks for all the pregnancy apps, like break it into weeks. So when people ask you how far along you are,

you're giving them like a non-answer. Yeah. You're just like, oh, it's this many weeks. And then they have to do a bunch of fucking math. I hate divide by four, basically. I don't want to do that. Right. So it's just easier to just tell them.

But so six months, I'm so, I keep like calling up the OB and being like, I think she's ready. I feel like she's ready to come out. Trying to get her just like, in one of those little, like outside wombs. You're just trying to have a preemie. So you don't have to carry it the last three months. Yeah, I'm just like, listen, she might need to go in one of those

little glass boxes, but I think she's ready. And they're cute. Those babies are cute as hell. They're cute as hell. They're teeny tiny. Yeah, they're like beanie babies. You're ready to go. You can have sushi again. Right. You don't like me. You're sort of knock on the tank. You're ready to go. You can have sushi again. Hey! You know what I mean?

You can sort of knock on the tank and once in a while. It's like having a pet turtle. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't have cravings really. I mean, I have like I want to drink water for the first time in my life. That's like a weird, I know that's like a normal thing that you're supposed to want. Your baby's just like begging you, please have water. Stop.

Can you just once in a while? Yeah, I don't want cold brew. She's once in a while. Stop feeding me celtcer as if it's water. Please stop. And I mean, I really, it is kind of like, getting pregnant, you go like, oh shit, I gotta like change my mindset immediately to like a different person, a different woman's mindset.

No, for sure. And I'm trying, but it's so hard. I just like, I still stay up too late. I still like, you know, I've thought about vaping every fucking day since I got pregnant. That's all, and you haven't. And, but the only difference is like, I would say like the cravings,

I'm just hungry all the fucking time. Gotcha. Like, I was telling you before like, Greg's tone was like, oh, you're fat all the fucking time. Gotcha. Like, I was telling you before, like, Greg's John was like, oh, you're fat for the first time. I've never... By the way, you look great. Thank you. People have been talking about what a big, fat piece of shit you are.

And you can't... I'm like, what? She looks great! They're out of their minds! Now, I'm sorry, no one's been saying that. But you do look... I was expecting you to just be bigger. You know what I mean?

You look great. Well, thanks, but... You're you to just be bigger. You know what I mean? You look great. Well thanks, bud. Because of how traumatized Andy was, I was expecting you to have gained so much weight. That I've just pulled those dimmer on the house. It's just me headbutting Andy through the living room. Yeah, no, he's like, and that was like early, too, in the pregnancy when he came on. I think it was like, I was like, you haven't seen anything. No, no.

Because now I'm like physically uncomfortable. I'm like laying in bed in the middle of the night and I'll just be like, oh! Like it's just like, I just, these crazy heaving size that come out of my mouth. I'm like, this is for the birds. Are you running hot, too? Are you running hot, too?

I'm hot all the time. I'm like, is there lip sweat? I'm like, just tell me if there is because I feel like I'm always sweating. Yeah, yeah. It really just sounds like you're living a fat man's life. It sounds like me after like having, when I've ordered $40 worth of Chinese food

and needed by myself. And my stuff, I can't roll on my stomach because it physically hurts. Yes. That sounds like what you're laughing at. Dude, that is exactly what being pregnant is. I'm not even kidding. You're sweating for no reason.

You can't roll over. It kind of hurts to even just go from your back to your side. Yep, yep, yep. Yep. Do you have any headaches? Heatex all the time. So now, okay, you know what this is?

You're like me off a bender where it's like, I've been eating like shit, I've got a dick pill headache because they will give you those, you know. Can't really breathe. Like, you're just being bright and just being the most unhealthy fat man possible. Yeah. It's like a woman who's been very healthy most of her life

just has to come into my life. Right. For my life. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, it's great. That's tough. And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. No, I feel I really feel for you. Like I can't believe this. This is really hard. This is really hard. I know.

I mean, sometimes you just want to you just sort of like sit down in a chair and you're like, I could cry. If anybody looked me directly in my eyes and asked how I'm doing, I'll cry. Like you can't look at me in my eyes and ask, you know what I mean? Absolutely. Because it'll be, it'll be an honest answer. It'll happen. Yeah. So just no cravings though, just a lot of eating more of what you're already eating. A lot of just eating. No weird shit. Yeah, no weird shit. I mean, I don't know. It's really just like I just want to eat all the fucking time

and that is weird for me. I have it. I never was like that person. I could just like kind of go and be like, oh fuck, I forgot to eat. I was like that person. And now I know why that's infuriating. Right, right, right.

I get it. I'll never say that again. Of course. It is kind of like it's shocking how much my entire day revolves around. The meals, yeah. And like when I'm gonna get it and the bathroom. What's the favorite, what's the favorite meal now? What's it go to?

It's so boring, it's like I've been eating a ton of like Indian food because it feels really crafty. Yeah. You can like mix it all up together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels kind of artistic. I know what you mean. Yeah.

A little piece of non, little dip. Yeah. Somoza. Yeah. Open that up. Little sack paneer. You just try to just all you mix it all up and then you sort of fold it over and you're like,

oh, this is a sandwich or it's a pizza. Sounds good. It's kind of a soup. Maybe we should get Indian. We're doing another episode where we get high after this. Yeah. Maybe we should order Indian, we're gonna do another episode where we get high after this. Yeah. Maybe we should order Indian food. Do it.

I'm sorry, I won't spill it all over this shit. No, no, you don't get to eat it while the episode's happening, motherfucker. How dare you. It's a garlic none. Garlic none is the shit. Love a nice piece of none. Yeah, I'm like, I'm trying to like.

Your baby's being kind of nourished on Indian food. For today, like tomorrow it'll be a totally different thing. Tomorrow, it'll be Mexican food. The next day, it'll be a different day. It's really last night I ordered like from a Swedish restaurant. I ordered Swedish meatballs and like my kid is. I keep a Umi Nikeya. Oh yeah, I ordered the Nikeya.

You made Andy go to Red Hook. I'm not even kidding you. There is a frozen Swedish me, Paul's from IKEA in our fridge. Like the second. I didn't know that they fucking sold that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it wasn't my, Andy bought it for himself, actually. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I understand. Because I guess that men can have their own craving. Sure. I have them all the time. Yeah. Remember, we said being a fat pizza shit is like being a pregnant woman. Right, but I'm saying when men have,

when they get a woman pregnant, they like have sympathy shit that happens. Like they can't wait. Imagine what happened if either of us got a woman pregnant and they'll just how fat we'd fucking get and how much bullshit we'd eat. Our pregnant wives would have to be like, all right, chill out. We were like,

I'm like, you're behind you, honey. I mean, we used to live, you know, we were roommates here, and there was one of the most fucked-up periods of my life where we were up to, it wasn't long, but for a little bit, we were eating two pints of Ben and Jerry's a day. There was like a two-month period

where like, you couldn't find a spoon in this apartment God forbid you want to eat soup because me and eldest were fucking they were tonight though Chubby hubby they were just completely caked so I can't even imagine if you put me back in that mindset Yeah, with like oh, but I'm I'm supporting my woman, you know I'm here for her I'm doing this for her so she doesn't have to eat alone. That's truly what happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see it.

It's bad. And also your fucking, your estrogen goes up. Oh, really? So like the estrogen levels and a guy goes up when they, when they're part of the thing. Interesting. Well, this does have a child bearing, he's got child bearing hips. He can literally, he got those for a mile away.

Yeah. He does have like a, he looks like a very large F-10, basically. Yeah, he really does. He seems like he could squat and push. He's easy. Damn, though, that's, so you quit vaping like, were you already not vaping? No, I was vaping all the time. like Andy and I did IVF because we were like not sure if we wanted a kid yet

But we but I did want one eventually and I was like and you know tiktok of course So I was like all right. Let's let's do this. We'll do IVF. We did it It was like fucking $20,000 I got pregnant like during a month when I had COVID. Oh, no. Just fucking vaping every other day. I was like, what the fuck did I do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was so pissed. And now I'm like, we've probably got like half a dumb ass that I'm working with here. But it's fine. I'm like, I'm psyched. Yeah, of course. You know, a dumb kid is a funny kid.

Fun kid. So I'm like, that's good. I was IVF Yeah, yeah me and my brothers. Yeah, that's great. That's two babies So yeah, so you were you were the 18. Yeah, yeah exactly. This is this I say it in my act But this is the best science could do right here They made me in a fucking lab baby They made me in a fucking lab, baby. I'm gonna push, I'm literally point to you my daughter's acting up and be like,

I got the 18 waiting in the waiting. We really were, the first, I think the first batch, like 88 and I was 89. So I was like one of the first, like, at the hospital that we were at, yeah, in like DC somewhere. Actually probably near, because you grew up in Virginia, right? Or DC.

It was somewhere, because my parents had to drive down to, I think it was Northern Virginia. I think it was. That's where I'm from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, the guy's name was Dr. Garcia, and there's all these pictures of that motherfucker.

Yeah. All these families love that guy. It's gotta be one of the best doctors to be. Yeah. Cause it's just happiness. I know. Cause you've made people's, my parents are trying to get pregnant for 10 Yeah. Because it's just happiness. I know. Because you've made people's like, my parents are trying to get pregnant for like 10 years.

Yeah. Like I'm actually very lucky. Because I was, my parents are trying to get pregnant like in 1980. Like I would have been some weird. Right. Fuck it. I'd be like, I'd be 44 right now.

Yeah. Tough. Tough. I wouldn't understand the internet. My career would be so bad. I wouldn't be like. It'd be like, It'd be like, it'd be crazy. Oh, I would be a cancel culture guy. Yeah, yeah. I would so bad. I would be like, I'm saying crazy.

Oh, I would be a cancel culture guy. Yeah, yeah. I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like,

I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like,

I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be my friend. Yeah, sharing clips. Sharing clips with Rogan. Yeah. Look at his moque pieces. Yeah.

Yeah. I swear to God, anytime I hear some, I'm like, how do they still say that and take themselves seriously? It has got, saying shit as well, it's gotten. It's, come on guys. It's gotten. It's got to stop. It's got to stop.

Somebody asked me, am I show this weekend? They were like, what's your hottest take? I wanted to fucking punch the mic across the room. I just, I wanted to just be like, fuck this. I have no takes, I'm a clown. I don't care. I come on the stage, we have a good time. Yeah.

I talk about how my dick doesn't work. I make fun of you. That's, we're here to have a good time. I don't have a pin, I mean, I have some, my opinions might sneak in, because it's just like, if you're authentic, and you just, you get to know, you get to like see who the person actually is,

but I don't wanna be, I've said this many times, I don't wanna be a point maker. No. That's not what my kind of comedy is, not point making comedy. It's having a good time. Yeah, I mean, if any point that I am making is not real, it's not really anything.

I'm just fucking, you know, like picking a side that I've just, I don't know, all of it seems so. To me, comedy kind of got, and maybe this is just also being pregnant, but there's part of me that like hears it, and I'm just like, I fucking hate the sound of it. I hate this. It makes me physically ill.

It makes me physically ill walking to a comedy club and like hear people like cackling. Yeah. That's awesome. It's so sick. Yeah, maybe that's nature's way of telling you women shouldn't work. Yeah, well not to your pregnant.

You know what's like, you should be in the home. I feel like getting pregnant is nature's way of telling me that women shouldn't work. Just getting pregnant. I was literally first trimester going to work every day and being like, this is the least feminist I've ever been, but I think this should be illegal.

I do, I think I should just be, there's no reason to be here. Be hanging out at home in a moomoo. Yeah. Eating ice cream and pickles or whatever. Sandals and socks. Absolutely. And just letting myself go to hell

So you were writing on SNL and and we also touring or what were you doing when you were? Yeah, so I was touring on the weekends I set up this whole like well, I didn't think this was gonna stick around I was like this is gonna be like a bad three weeks of work. I really Yeah, I thought- I thought- Which had a couple of miscarriages, you're like, ah, we got another one in the mix. We'll see. Yeah.

Just like, oh my god. You see the test and you're like, oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't even, it's like you fake excitement. Yeah, of course. Cause you're just like, pfft. Been through it. Yeah, so I was just like, whatever, it'll be a couple of weeks.

Yeah. I'll book a tour. I booked this fucking whole tour. And now I'm like, what the fuck is so? Are you still on the road right now? Yes. Insane. I have six more cities to go. Insane.

I got, yeah. I mean, one of them is gonna be, Tempe is gonna be rough. Brudel, it's gonna be 110 degrees. That is gonna be very tough. I'm like, I have not told my doctor that I'm going now. It's gonna be, is gonna be rough. Brutal, it's gonna be 110 degrees. That is gonna be very tough. I'm like, I have not told my doctor that I'm going now. You're gonna bake your child's brain.

You're on Born Child's brain. Just gonna boil the baby. I know. Already vaping, already giving COVID brain. Let's fucking throw a little Arizona heat in there. Right when it's about to be to pop out. And a refusal to drink water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just straight combo.

Who layers. So I'm just kind of like, I've been traveling the whole trip, the whole trip, the whole pregnancy. I mean, it's been, it is what it is. Like you kind of get, there's like a period of time where you're like, okay, this is fine. I can deal with this. And then it just starts to get, you know,

your belly actually starts to like get bigger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're're like oh, I can't like bend And that's like I dropped one mic there were two mics on the stage I dropped one and I was like well, I Know I'm not getting any the other mic. Yeah, it's not gonna happen. Yeah, so you know, there's that Sure, that's hilarious to just still be where you should cancel some of those You know it's scary that you're telling me that yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know me like touring schedule I haven't ruined my health touring

But here's the thing. Yeah, you're in hell anyway. Yeah, like sure ring is hell regardless. Yeah, so the thing is I just get fatter You might give your child developmental disabilities The two differences That's a guarantee special kid would be kind of fun honestly me and Andy's Okay, I'm 38 he's 40 oh yeah, you're so right. It's gonna be rough tough Yeah, you got Andy's like broken tail sperm Let's put it this way. I'm not I'm not fighting with the fucking psychiatrist about the baby drugs Yeah, put her on whatever

Whatever's gonna make her like you know to girl. Yeah, nice. Yeah, I'm so Think I was like gonna be I wait, that was, I heard something, right? She cheers, yeah. I was like, I'm just hallucinating. Yeah. I was so excited and I thought I wanted a boy because I just thought, you know, a boy would be like, they're, I don't, I don't wanna say it because-

Please. But I was like, you can kind of ignore them. Yeah. It's true. You can kind of, they sort of just run around and wreck all your property and ruin everything. It's true. A boy, it's like up until you create a mass shooter, you're fine. Right. But you got a lot of leeway there.

Whereas a woman can be a lot of different forms of terrorists. Right. Exactly. You can have a minor emotional terrorist, exactly. All the way up to like a murderer, right? Right, like a social person. And that's what I'm going for.

Yeah. That's what I want to teach her to hunt and kill for sports. Yeah. Okay, I just want to, I want a tiny little murderer. You guys do have interesting genes because double alcoholic if I'm correct, two alcoholics. Yep. With blue eyes. With blue eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, two alcoholics. Yep. With blue eyes. With blue eyes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, two alcoholics. You know she's charming. Yeah, two alcoholics, both mentally ill. Yeah. Andy just kind of, he was telling us, he's like, remember he had like a crazy ass grandma who had that weird shit. You've got Illuminati jeans.

He's got a crazy grandma. Yeah, remember he had like a grandma who talked about how hot her son was, or like great grandma who like talked about how hot his grandson's mother a crazy grandma. Yeah, I remember he had like a grandma who talked about how hot her son was or a great grandma who like Talk about how hot his Grans bother was or something like that I'm for real just so his His family's like that your family was literally you in the illuminati. Yeah, that's you know I mean you got no problem there. Yeah, that's that'll that gives you some coverage. Yeah, my family's perfect

That's killing nailed it I mean, you got no problem there. Yeah, that's, that'll, that gives you some coverage. Yeah, my family's perfect. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait nailed it. Yeah. His family's a wreck. Yeah. I'm just hoping she's got more my genes. Well, it's like you, to be fair, you kind of have the offshoot,

when, you know, every Illuminati family has like the offshoot of like the ones that didn't really do much. The fucked up. The fucked up ones that they kind of, you know, and that's, if I'm not mistaken, that is sort of your family, right? Your direct family. You're saying that's me.

I'm not you. You're father and mother, maybe? No, no, no. No, my dad is, yeah, my dad's, he's working for his dad. Oh, that's it. They're tight. That's it, that's it. So it's me.

So it's you and bringing Andy in the mix didn't help at all. That's not it. It's not someone the secretary of defense is going to respect. It's so funny because I was listening to Andy talk to my dad today on the phone. And I was like don't tell don't say I'm in the car. Yeah, yeah, sure, the general generally what it's like. And he's like, I just wanted to hear the two of them. Sure, the general. Generally what it's like. And he was like, I'd love to see that myself.

It was so funny because Andy was like, hey, Jamie, you can hear his voice gets like deeper when he talks to my mom. Yeah. And he's like, he's like trying to tell my dad that we're like dropping off. We have like, movers that are dropping off like shit at his house. Yeah. And he was like

He's like so we I just wanted to like give you the heads up, you know I probably I probably should call you about it before There was just like silence and my dad goes K And he goes and then Andy goes is that is that okay? And I was like I like Don't show weakness I like, don't show weakness. Don't show weakness. I was like, don't say, just wait.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, you cannot talk, because my dad will literally wait for you to incriminate yourself. He's like that, he'll just be silent. And he's like, I remember, I must have been like, I was probably fucking 10 when he taught me this, but he was like, if you wanna know if somebody's guilty, and why would the fuck would I need to know that I'm 10 years old he's like you want to

know somebody's guilty you just let him talk just sit back and let him talk you'll find out if they're guilty I was like what the fuck are you trying to teach me that's like great lesson I'm trying to teach me. That's like a great lesson. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. But that's like who he is. Yeah.

It's just like that guy. Porendi. Porendi trying to sit through that silence. I don't know anybody else who watches succession and is like, that's my family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just how we are. It's crazy.

Yeah, no, that's fucking... I was thinking the other day, I love, you know what I love? Mango the fruit. I love its sweet, its delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets.

Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know, many times I've gotten sucked off, be like, this actually, one time after a day, I was like, wanna come back with some fruit salad? And I thought it was smooth,

and then some girl, after she fucking was like, that was so weird, you asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, DGX. Well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point,

because I was eating the mango, and oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards, and I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome.

And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest. You know I'm an ED, I've tried them all from the gas stations to other services. Mango RX now has a new ED pill that is game changing, okay? Really? Tastes like mango, my friend. Wow. Delicious, just like it.

And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, Eld. They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever. We're talking zwing. You know when they take out a sword and it

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I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all

got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. It was terrible. So did you ever, it was that the first like weird life lesson

you got, weird illuminati life lesson or? Yeah, it was that and I remember asking my dad at one point Because I wasn't sure if I wanted to have kids or if I wanted to be a mom and I remember asking my dad When did you I was like when did you know that you're ready to have kids and he was like He just sort of stared forward and was like you'll never be ready He was like driving and he just and that was all he ever said I was like driving and he just, and that was all he ever said. I was like, okay. Oh, cool. Yeah, I mean, that's not the kind of guy in general who like is a good at being a dad

or a family man, but then it seems like even specifically just from like your specials and just knowing you and also just like your material. It's like, your dad felt extra, not in the mix. I think he felt like he was really not hanging out. He was not really wanted a son, didn't ever got that, got all girls. Really badly wanted a son. For sure, I wanted a son was fucking bummed.

You know, and just was overpowered. For the first time, maybe in his life, I think he honestly. Which is poetic. Yeah, I don't think he ever, I remember him driving us to church. There was a period of time before the twins came along. And when they had a manageable amount of kids,

that they were taking us to church every Sunday. But it was like, my dad was, he would drink on the way. He was drinking beers on the way. And he's just drinking beers on the way. And I could just, I was like, you're so badly wanted like a backseat full of boys. Yeah, just rough houses. Yeah. Talked about Little League.

Yeah, I mean. He just like, he grew up with like three brothers and him and he just didn't, he was not prepared. Yeah. But he got like a bunch of little girls that were like, like him. Yeah, yeah.

Like, we're more like him than we are like our mom. Which is even, he probably even less could understand that. He's, that is even more frustrating. Cause it's like, if I got girls at least are gonna be like, I can marry them off to other political elite. And, and strengthen my, strengthen my power in the Bush administration. But I got ones that weren't interested.

I got like opinionated, fucking. I basically got women that are men. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just can't do anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally, nothing more useless than an opinionated woman from your father's perspective. He's so pissed. Yeah.

He was so pissed. I remember at one point, I him looking at me and being like, why can't you just be, he was like, I remember him just having no words to describe like how disappointed he was. He was just like, I just need you to just, can you just be reasonable. He was like, I said,

damn, landed on reasonable. Yeah, just landed on reasonable, but I think what he was saying is like, be less like yourself. Of course. You know what I mean? Yeah. Which honestly means less like him.

I mean, he and I are the same person. A lot of psychological shit going on there. They're the same person. Yeah, yeah. That's tough. I mean, he's like the reason that anything funny about me is from him. Yeah, yeah.

And so, were you the oldest? Yeah. You're the oldest, okay. And then there, I have two brothers. You two brothers. Two younger brothers, the fraternal twins, but IVF, so, you know.

You're the oldest. I'm the oldest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the oldest. I get it for sure. No, I mean, not obviously we don't have the same stakes, because it's like, it's gotta be weird. Your dad's in a very strange position,

just like, you know what I mean? Because he clearly went down the path and we should say for anybody who doesn't know your grandfather was James Baker. Yeah. Literally the Secretary of Defense under Reagan. Secretary of State under Bush. State and then Bush and then he was a staff under.

He was defense at one point though, right? Treasure it. Treasure it, damn. I got it all wrong, sorry. I think that's right. You would know better than me. I thought he was at one, I thought he did a cut. Anyway, real, let's just say architect

of some real not chill stuff. But it's gotta be straight, it truly succession is right. And it's gotta be weird to be that guy's son and then go down that path. But then, you know, see daughters that just are not fucking with that at all. And it must be so frustrating when he bought in

and was like, well, this is what you do. Yeah. And he probably wasn't happy. Let's be honest on to do that. He didn't want to be that. I think, well, here's the thing. He wanted to be, this is like an interesting be that. I think, well, here's the thing, he wanted to be, this is like an interesting piece

that I never learned from my dad, but I learned from like a different relative. He wanted to be like an environmental lawyer. He was like, a fucking, he wanted to be, a fucking, oh my God. Oh my God, literally they're gutting the EPA. Your grandfather is helping gut the EPA and your dad's like, I want a fucking...

And then my dad had so many kids, he was like, fuck it, all right, I'll just be a corporate lawyer. He immediately skipped, like he never went that route. But that's like when he was like, before he had like a bunch of fucking daughters, that's like what he wanted to be. And I'm like, oh my God, that says so much. Totally.

It says so much. So much. And also like, it's also a little bit of a, I mean, again, I don't know them personally, but it's like, that's also a little bit of a copout. I think psychologically where it's like, there's probably a lot of reasons he didn't end up being an environmental lawyer.

Like, I just see it from my dad's perspective who he blamed everything on, well, I had the responsibility of my family because he was like ultimately a coward who wouldn't like take risks right and that's probably a little bit Your dad to where it's like he had a pretty set up life in terms of just you know you could just Backward like literally like you could fail into a really nice life, right? Just you could like if you just, if you just kind of like work, if you're not a complete dumbass, you know what I mean? Like you could just kind of...

I kind of, I disagree on that only because there was no fucking money at all in environmental law. Oh no, I mean, I mean going with corporate law. And just like, like you could without really trying, he could, he was basically set up to be like pretty rich and do whatever if he just went down the connections, his family connections and all that stuff. And that's easier than what you're saying,

being an environmentalist. Like there's so many more reasons why he probably didn't do that. But it's easy to blame your kids for being like, well, once my kids came along, I had no choice, but it's like you had a choice. You know what I mean? I don't know if that resentment is there,

I don't know if I'm projecting with my dead shit, but it's like, that feels like a classic dead move. I know what you're saying. I feel like that's true. I don't, I wouldn't have to. My mom's a painter, my dad's a lawyer. I'm like, I, yes, of course, he could have done the environmental law thing

and like whatever, but I'm also like, now that I'm like having a kid, I'm like, I kinda get it. It's expensive, yeah. It's fucking expensive. I'm like, okay, that's, I get it, yeah. And part of me goes like, yeah, it's cowardly, but it's also way smarter.

Totally, totally, totally. What you're saying is true. Pragmatic, pragmatic, and like, sacrificing. And I mean, like, look, that was the choice, but I'm saying like, being a coward is a wise choice. It is. Most of the time, yeah. It's, I mean, look who you married.

You know, that's clearly, that's clearly your position. Yeah. He's not a coward. Only with me. Yeah, yeah. I just love the title of his album, The Coward of Grammarcy. It's so fucking funny. And that intro he shot where I thought I couldn't find, where it was like he was like throwing up,

he was by the kill himself or something. And then I come in and I interrupt it. It's so fucking funny. So funny. That was so funny and so sad to shoot. I remember watching him slowly change into a cowboy costume in the corner of our living room. And I was like, probably, I don't know,

doing some bullshit on my phone and then I look up and I'm like, there's just someone filming my husband changing into a cowboy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, what the fuck am I doing with that? Like, what did I do? Absolutely. What did I choose? You know,, yeah. And I was like, what the fuck am I doing with life? Like, what did I do? Absolutely. What did I choose?

You know, from the moments I'm like, please God, let my father never see. Of course. What I'm doing with life. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, no, it's a pragmatic choice. But I just mean like, that's,

I guess what I'm getting at is like, it's easy to compound resentment on to kids. When it's really ultimately your decision to do whatever the fuck, as a parent, do whatever the fuck you're gonna do. Like the more you, the more I grow up and I'm like, I'm a fucking adult. I'm like, oh my dad was really just like,

just, it's just like you could have take take some responsibility. Stop letting all these forces dictate you. Like things are gonna push you one way, but it's like, don't behave that way. It's just like stand up to something at some point. And it's like, you know. It's like make the ballsier choice for anything

because it's valuable for a kid to see their parent doing that. For sure, I really, I am so lucky that I, like, you know, I'm lucky that I, you can react different ways to seeing that. And I'm lucky that I reacted to like, oh, behave the exact opposite of this. Like where I'm like, never do it. To the point where I think it's fucked me up a little bit

because now I take a lot of risks, but I also have no responsibilities. Like my dad always talked about how his family like held them down or whatever the fuck and forced them to stay in America and all this other shit. And he also talked about how all the shit he could have done,

although like business deals he didn't do, all the, you know, and I've never, I've always just been like, fuck it. Let's roll the dice. And it's worked for me, but I also like, it's instilled a little bit of a phobia in with relationships, like getting tied down, getting stuck, I have that anxiety.

So, there's like a middle ground between, like, you know, learning from your parents and then also. But the benefit of you being that way is that you could have that fear and you'll do it anyway. Like, that's the thing. Like I don't feel like as a, I don't like look at myself in the mirror every day and go like that's a mom.

You know what I'm like, she's ready. Like I'm not, there's no part of me that feels like ready for this still and I'm so fucking terrified and I'm everyday. I'm like so scared. And I'm just like, but I'm doing it anyway, because it's like, that's what we do as comics. It's like we make those choices that are scary,

and we just make it work. Or it doesn't. Or it falls flat on it's fucking face. And then who knows how much the lineage can fall further? She just fucking, stop me up. I could be eating my words in a year. But. No, but I think it's, and I don't think anyone's ever,

at least us, like it's so funny how, when you just do something so frivolous as entertainment, it's like we're talking about having a kid, which is something most of the world does at like 20. 20? Yeah. Like we're talking about as if kid, which is something most of the world does it like 20. Like we're talking about as if it's like the craziest thing in the world, even though it's literally on some level the reason humans exist.

This to just create more of us. But I totally get it. I mean, my friend just had a kid and she said the same thing. She's like, I was just like, and for me it's even weird. Like it's weird that you'll have a kid. It's weird that she has a kid. It's like, I was just like, and for me it's even weird, like it's weird that you'll have a kid, it's weird that she has a kid, it's like, yeah, that's insane, like we have kids, but it's like, we're fucking in our 30s and 40s and shit,

and it's like, it's beyond the time to do it. Right, like we're supposed to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like we're late. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I don't even have the prospect of a serious relationship, little on a kid, like I guess I could, I one time my mom was busting my balls but not having kids so much and I was like, look, I can get you a kid.

But, do you want to raise it? Because I can't. Yeah, like we can, we can make that happen. But I'm not gonna fucking raise it. Do you want to raise it? Do you want to be like grandma raising it? Yeah. Because she was like so annoying about it.

I'm only lonely, Rose. Yeah, like that. I've been, we've had some close calls. You sort of were a grandmother for a couple weeks, a couple, a couple times. You were, right? I can't tell you how many times you were almost. Yeah, I can't tell you how many plan Bs away from a grandmotherhood you've been in your life.

Oh my God. But yeah, it's just like, but I definitely feel that, I mean, having the brisket of a kid really, I can't even imagine. Yeah. It's all second hand for me. And it's like,

He said the most fucked up thought of you just sending your mom bunch of fucking plan to He's also the ones that could have been yeah But now she would have been fine if I if I'd shown her who the could have been with should be real happy That it's not you know some some real random ladies Women I don't even remember their names. Close calls. A lot of kind of got caught up in the moment. And really, it's so very dim-light.

So very fucked up situations. But yeah, I don't know, man, it's still, I mean, it is really exciting, too, to be having a time. It's exciting. It's kind of like, I look at it and I go like, I know what you're saying, like, when my friends were having kids, like my closer friends, I was just like,

wait, what? Like, it sort of felt like they were dying. Yes, yes, really. You know what I mean? I mean, a lot of people move like. Like, nobody talks about that, but it feels like you're like, oh, you're having a kid, okay, we'll buy.

Like, it's just kind of how it feels. And even now that I'm like going through it, it feels, it does, it feels like I'm preparing to die. I'm like, I'm like preparing my apartment and throwing things away. I'm like, a new face of life, really is when it comes down to. Yeah, I'm like, and I am, I'm gonna die a little bit.

I'm just gonna die for a second. And here's the thing though, who, like that's, it's like, that's okay, because it's like how much longer did you want to be exactly that person? Do you know what I mean? Yes. I'm getting tired of who I am now.

Yes. I'm like this, this can't keep going on. That's how I feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I'm fucking so sick of doing whatever I want all the time. Right, too much ice cream. This is so much fun. It's too much dessert.

Yeah. Not I need some responsibilities. I like it's too good. Yeah, it's just too easy and done. And honestly, I was thinking about it. I was like, I'm not prepared for any of the shit that I know is hard. You know, like, or I am prepared for that. Like, I've been through periods of time

where I haven't slept for fucking weeks. I've done shit that I thought was impossible. I've gotten through it. I've been stuck in the house for weeks at a time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In a lot of ways, COVID prepped me for that too. But I don't think I'm really prepared for like the way that parents like describe how they feel

about their kids. Like that part scares the shit out of them. Interesting having to really feel that deep. Yeah. Having like those deep emotions. I'm like, oh, I'm not ready for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something just chipping away at that little ice box.

Yeah. That little ice box hard. Oh, no. It's gonna be rough. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm excited for that because I'm just like ready to be like a different kind

of version of myself, you know? Yeah, at a certain point, it's gotta, I don't know. I feel like the more people around you to it, just you get used to the idea and it doesn't seem so crazy and it's just like, yeah, I'm tired of doing this exact thing. And it's also just kind of like, fuck it, what else are you gonna do? You know? I had so many, I mean, literally I'm talking like I'm already dying, but I had so many

good years of just like going out late at night, just staying out until six in the morning with my friends and being like, this is like the greatest life ever. Yeah, that's so fun. I'm just, I love my fucking life. I love my friends, this is so fun. And then like, you know, it was like coming home from those and being like, it was another great night, but like, how many of these can I do?

Yeah, who cares at a certain point? Who cares? Yeah, I get that. And I know it, who cares? Yeah, I get that. And I know it's like depressed. No, I get that too, because I feel kind of the similar way on certain parts of like, I mean, there were like that last couple tours

have been so sick for me. Where it's like, I have a, I have more than achieved my dreams. Like I thought I was wanting to be a road comic working like B-rooms. That's where I thought was possible. Like I started McGubby's joke house and I wanted to work every McGubby's equivalent across America. And shit is gone so much better.

Like literally my best friend, like we travel tour managers, like we're selling our great shows. I'm getting a fuck bunch of girls. And it's all, you know, we eat at any cool restaurant we want. We do everything that like is a vacation. Yeah. And then it's like, but then you're like, all right, what I got. What else?

Who gives a fuck? And then it's like, there has to be like a deeper, like very basic human shit, which just comes down to finding people you love, having kids, like starting a life, all this kind of shit, where it's like, yeah, there's a reason the people that just keep, people that just stay just partying

and having an awesome time. It's like, when you get into your like 40s and 50s and stuff like that. It makes me sad. It makes me sad. Yeah, it makes me really sad. And listen, I don't wanna, I think that it's hard enough to be a woman with a kid,

but if you're a woman without one, you just get all kinds of shit put on you where it's like, oh, she can't possibly be happy. Like, oh, damn. Just all that kind of shit. Yeah, I'd even consider that. So I don't wanna say that that's not possible because I think that it is.

And I think that for women that choose not to have kids, I think that's an important choice. But I also go, like, for me, I'm like, it's just not for me. I don't want the burden of that. I don't want the burden of having to enjoy my life that much. That's so true. Because if you're just having an okay time

and you're like, I could have had a kid. If you're not just crushing it every fucking weekend, what was the point? Or even if I am, and I'm still just my miserable self. I'm like, now I gotta be a woman who loves her life all the time, I don't have a kid. It's exhausting. I just, no thanks.

I still feel like I could go either way, like I could, because I also feel like I'm in the Uncle's own big time. Oh for sure. I'd be a great, you know, I just, no thanks. I still feel like I could go either way. Like I could, because I also feel like I'm in the Uncle Zone big time. Oh for sure. I'd be a great, you know. I know one of my brothers is gonna have kids. Like we already, like we've been saying, one of my friends, my best friends, like she had a kid. That little motherfucker, it's so, I'm so pissed off. She keeps losing New York when I'm not here.

They crashed here. That baby was like on this couch. Yeah, yeah. And I would just didn't get the hangout with them, but it's like, I want to be, I think I could get that fulfillment. Like I like kids, but I don't, I could go either way. I guess I'm just gonna put it on whatever I end up with.

It's like your choice and you better choose right. It is crazy. It's like, oh my god. It is our whole lives depend on it. It is crazy though. When you get like a niece or a nephew, and you do not, I'm positive that my niece coming to visit me, I was like,

I got pregnant right after. Oh wow. Right after that. I dropped her off with her mom and was like, peace and went home and just fucking blew everything up. So it was like, let's do it. You know, so wait, did you get this is the baby IVF where we talk in natural? It's natural.

Nice. But it's natural like after doing IVF. Oh, after all the hormones. Like so pissed. Yeah, yeah. That I had all that fucking, I'm like, God damn it. We have like the perfect babies. And now we just did this, but it's fine.

It's fine. You'll be fine. Yeah. It'll be good. Yeah. You know, and did your parents know that you were a boy? Did they like know what the genders of all like? Did they?

Well, I was the way they did it. I don't know if it's still the same way now, but back then, they would implant like, fucking, ten embryos. I know. Twelve embryos, it was fucking insane. I know, it's like crazy. Yeah, like I was one of nine, I was the only one that made it. And then my brothers,

Hunger Games. Yeah, I fucked those kids up. Yeah. My brothers, it was even more fucked up. They were originally like, I think an eight. Yeah. And for a long time, they were supposed to be triplets. And like pre-late in the game.

I don't know what they did to that motherfucker My brother's just like killed yeah, they just like ate him for nutrients They literally call it like disappearing twins You can't call it that yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't call it that and act like that's scientific totally totally Don't call it don't tag syndrome on the Disappearing twin yeah, yeah, yeah, don't call it, don't tag syndrome on the other day and be like, oh, disappearing twins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, we don't know what happened. Yeah, yeah.

That's great. Yeah. But they fucking, yeah, they just fucking killed that guy. Maybe he was annoying. I don't know what the fuck was going on in the world. But they put them up for parts and they ate his ass in the womb. I'm sure they literally got his nutrients. Like, that's how that shit works.

So good. My brothers. To stem cells. Yeah, they're hearty boys. Yeah. You know, fuck that guy. He's in hell right now. All boys.

Because he never made it. Yeah, all boys. God damn. All boys. And if my parents had said if they had had the twins first, they wouldn't have had another kid. Yeah. So they were planning on having two kids.

And then my brothers just popped out. And then my brothers just popped out. That's what happens. first, they wouldn't have had another kid. So they were planning on having two kids. And then my brother just popped out. For sure. But do you identify as the oldest, even though I know, because there's the trope of the oldest, do you feel like you've been to that? 100%. Yeah, even though, and it's kind of weird to because my both are twins

But we also kind of really falling to like Oldest middle child baby like my brother who was technically Seven minutes younger fully feels like the baby of the family. Yeah, like you know And then my brother who is a little older than him just fully has like middle child shit big time, you know. And it's it, but I definitely am like the foe. It sounds like you're the same way where it's like definitely the oldest kind of was like a quasi-parent in certain ways or like help, I at least helped my parents out a lot. Like I was, you know.

Well, when there's twins you have to, it's like all hands on deck. Everything's just like, fuck, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's yeah. What are, you know what I mean? It's like, it's, yeah. What are the age differences between you guys? Oh God, it's like, well the biggest age difference is 10 years. Okay. So then, so it's two years, six years, 10 years.

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Oh yes, that's different. I mean, we were only two years apart, so I didn't like, for me it was more just like, you know, oldest child being the one that has like all the hopes pinned on them Yeah, I mean like I had all the Responsibilities and then because my parents straight up didn't speak English that well I would like proofread documents and like do that kind of shit since like six grade Yeah, my mom with a bunch of shit

So in that way for sure, you know, I got the oldest child. Do you feel like though with the oldest child like I don't have my mom with a bunch of shit. So in that way, for sure, I got the oldest child. Do you feel like with the oldest child, like, I don't know, for me, I was like, oh, they like had me and then they were like, they just kind of go like, oh, we gotta focus on raising these other kids. So you kind of got to do it yourself. And I feel like that benefits you as an oldest child

because you're like, I'm gonna learn to be an adult faster than all you motherfuckers. I think you're definitely bossier if you're an oldest child, because you're like, I'm gonna learn to be an adult faster than all you motherfuckers. I think you're definitely bossier if you're the oldest child. Like without question, I'm like, I can't help it. Like I have, I try and stop that part of myself from just being like, it's really hard, but I also think it has helped me in certain ways

where I'm just like, sometimes shit just has to get, someone has to decide what has to happen. Yeah. But yeah, definitely I do think there's something to that because like, I mean, for me it was a big drop off because I was like the king. Like, my parents had tried to have kids for a decade. Yeah.

And then here I come. Yeah. And I was also like one of those kids that could talk early. I was like, you know, 10 months old. Yeah. Just talking sentences and shit. Yeah, and they were like, yeah. Yeah. Like I was a big hit at parties.

It's just little, like, you still look like a baby that was carried around on like, when I was golden little, like, beds. A hundred percent. That was the whole vibe of the first two years of my life. Yeah. And then here come not one, but two dickheads.

Yeah. That completely fucked my shit up. Right. It was, we had the, we weren't friends when we were like babies, because I was pissed off. Oh shit up. Right. It was, we weren't friends when we were like babies, because I was pissed off. Oh yeah. Yeah, I remember my mom being like,

you know, doing that parent shit where it's like, you have a very important job. You can be my helper. Right. And then I was two years old and like after, literally after like three days, I was like, hey, mom, I quit. I literally was like, I quit being the helper.

Did you save that? I said that. I was like, I quit being the helper. I said that. I was like, I quit being the helper. And she was just like, she, cause like bring her diapers or shit. I was like, she a fucking socks. Yeah. I want to go watch fucking Sesame Street and show out. I don't want to fucking help you. Yeah.

You made this. You brought these assholes into our lives. Right. Yeah. I remember feeling like that. Like I remember when my mom got pregnant with the twins and my other sister literally looking at her and being like, how are we gonna afford it?

Like choose eight. Asking how are we gonna afford it? Like what are you guys doing? You're just being reckless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was like kind of the vibe. Yeah, is dad gonna have to represent another dictator in court to pay for our fucking country club fees now?

How are we gonna keep our membership? I'm not splitting tennis lessons. I won't do it. I'm putting my fucking tiny foot down. Fuck. Did you ever date any of the like real like those like no vote? I'm putting my fucking tiny foot down. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He wasn't like a Nova rich kid. You know what I mean? I really, because Nova's weird, like there's like great falls is like kind of an area in Nova or was where you had like just middle class,

like working class families. And like I tended to date like that. You know what I mean? Just guys that like had a good weed hook up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, that's like, that's like but were you going to private schools or public schools? I went to public school. You went to public school.

Okay, so you had actually. I went to public school. Oh wow, gotcha. They saw, they're like, we'll see how this goes. They're like, she'll be fine. Yeah. Throw on public school.

So, okay, cool. Yeah. So, cause I just imagine like, you know, some weird like DC area private school that like, yeah. Other people don't know, cause they do have those little pockets. Yeah. like some weird DC area private school that like other people don't know, because they do have those little pockets where it would be like,

you just turn down a street and you'd be like, it's nothing but mansions in this little part of Virginia or DC. And it's like not that far from others. A little secret, there's so much money in that corridor, that like... Secret money alcohol. Yeah, there's so many of them.

And there's like that, you know, there's parts in Maryland, they're like that, alcohol. Yeah, there's so many of them and like there's like that You know, there's parts in Maryland. They're like that the Bethesda all that kind of shit and then In northern Virginia. I feel like the economic development of DC like the uneven economic development How it would change from block to block? Yeah, just kind of spread through Maryland and Virginia. Yeah, for sure You know what I mean for sure you would just be it would be one neighborhood and the next was just completely different for sure, but um, yeah, I had young pubbo school smoking weed. Yeah, yeah, being a little trouble maker. All my sisters were in boarding school and private school. They went to like the hill school where my grandfather went and where my father went and I they just totally skipped that for me. They didn't even fucking apply. They were saying she's not getting in there.

She's not getting in there. They just, they're like she's there's not a chance. She's can't. Not a chance. She doesn't have a single bone in her body that belongs there. That's so funny. My parents just knew it immediately. That's crazy.

They just first born. They don't even bother. They were just like, it's not going to happen. We'll take them mall again. Yeah We fucked that one up the first draft She's gonna go to public school She'll figure it out and the rest you guys are gonna be set up that's so funny because it's like when you said bumps She was like oh, okay good for good for Rosebud's parents. They're like you know what?

We're gonna raise our kids normal, but it was actually like just kind of a just kind of like shitting on you like there's no way to read that not be like my parents don't care about me as much because when you're a kid you don't get this is actually better for you that you're actually becoming a regular person in a way that your siblings don't like they actually did you a huge favor yeah but you didn't know that when you're a kid no when you're a kid it probably felt like what the fuck they get to go to these expensive schools and I'm going to fucking public school? To be honest with you, it never even,

I wasn't too stupid to notice. I really didn't even, I just, it just went like, woo, like I couldn't even, I remember thinking like, oh, it kind of sucks, they have to like go to like Pennsylvania to go school. That sucks to me. But I also like, I kind of worked my whole public school education in this weird way where like I did four classes at school.

And then I went to like a gifted and talented program in a different public school for like arts and fucking theater. Gotcha, gotcha, yeah, they had that kind of weird shit in DC. Yeah, yeah, so I did that and I was like, to me that was like, I'm basically the greatest child that they've had. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't know that that's not, that my sisters were killing it. Right, right. In like a legacy school. Yeah. Like literally living my father, my grandfather's legacy for that. And I was just kind of like,

fucking, dickin' around in was just kind of like, fucking, dicking around in a public school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing monologues, supporting school. Yeah. Did any of your sisters like stick with that? Did they go into any like business politics any of that shit?

No, my sister, that's the thing. It's like it didn't even pay off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My sister, she's a nurse. Okay. And then my other sister is, she does PR for like an art gallery. Okay.

Gotcha. She's the closest. PR is the closest. PR is the closest. If she wanted, she probably could transition into some more of that. Yeah, she got it in her. Like I could see her kind of like doing some cutthroat.

She's like a fashionable lesbian in Manhattan who works at an art gallery. That's one of the scariest people I've ever heard described. Yeah. Fashionable lesbian. Yeah. Manhattan. Lesbian. Oh wow. Okay. Interesting. Interesting. Wow. Very disappointed straight woman. Yeah. Just how much sub part. It's the it's the uh touchy roll thing where it's like how much sub part dick does it take to make you a lesbian? How many licks does it take to get to the center? I'll be honest she fucked two comics when she moved here and now she's gay Just put that out there huge mistake tell me off my coup they were later. Oh, I will

Yeah who they were later. Oh, I will. Yeah. You bet. That's fucking hilarious. Elders, we never talked about your dynamics. I mean, you were pretty squarely the baby. Marilyn is like, I was like another parent.

Oh, yeah. Marilyn was doing everything. Marilyn was always like, because my parents didn't know English. Oh, yeah. My parents kind of didn't. Elders' parents, oh, we grew up together by the way. Yeah. Elders' parents, like, because my parents didn't know English. Oh yeah, my parents kinda didn't. Elders' parents, oh we grew up together by the way. Yeah, yeah.

Elders' parents, like didn't, his mom, are you also Greek? I'm Albanian. Albanian. Yeah, how dare you roast, but clearly, I'm like, clearly, I'm being, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, I mean, my sister was, she's like five years older than me, so she was always getting Sent into stores to ask for directions Phone call Administrative shit totally like that. So do you ever feel like your parents maybe like faked it a little bit? Just like they were like oh, we can't that's a great question because I'm like well No, because if if you can you can't mean, if you don't know how to call someone on the phone.

Your dad definitely was not faking. That motherfucker definitely couldn't. Your mom, if you like, is so resourceful, she could have figured it out. But my mom was more capable of it, but didn't just realize it. Well, she also just didn't realize it because of like, you know, misogyny,

like indoctrination for communist albacan. Right. She's like, I could never call the electric company. realize it because of like you know, misogyny like in the imagination for Communist Albany. Yeah, I could never call the electric company. Sort this bill out. How could I ever? I'm never going to find a English better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So fucking funny. That's what I'm going to use as my excuse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could never possibly ever. But no, I guess that's so true. Because, yeah, your sister was so very capable. And you really were the fat little dumbass of the family. Just reading poetry in your thighs chafing together in your little sweatpants. Did you do poetry? Oh, yeah,'m a what i'm a proud life long reader and i'll just be sure of what it's okay if i can a proud life

and i've never had never had anyone described we but we went to elementary school together and then he went to like his family moved out of uh... a really shitty neighborhood which now has become completely gentrified if they'd stuck around would have been a great decision. And they went to this fucking horrible suburb, and Elvis was just like at an arts school, like just-

Which arts school? Carver center? It was a high school. It was a high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Mary, he was a center in like, Towson. Okay.

And he was just like, yeah, he lost all the, we stayed in Baltimore and it's not like we were big tough guys or anything, but boy, didn't know this lose any edge. He possibly could have had. They had a shout out. I mean, yeah, I always was sheltered. I think it's like just something in me as something that would have like still incubated even if we're absolutely, absolutely.

Maybe a little less if I hung out with more with you guys. A little less, you would have gotten a much, you would have gotten roasted so much more. I met your high school friends, dude, and it was like, if I was comfortable around those people, like if those kids went to my high school, and I went to a, you had to test and, this wasn't just like a regular Baltimore high school, at my high school, any of those kids gets eaten alive.

Right. They get so, like, for me there. Were they gifted and talented kids, or were they like dumbass? They were like art kids. Oh, they were art kids. It was like theater art. You can't send an art kid to Baltimore, Peter.

No, no, no. I've talked about this on other episodes, but it was like, there was a thing that switched like when I was just in seventh grade, where I was like, because I was a theater, I love theater, I love drama. And then like being in Baltimore, I was like, oh, at seventh grade,

I was like, oh, this is gay. And I'm gonna play sports now. Because I don't wanna be ridiculed. It's like, it just happens. That happened to me in eighth grade. I was like, oh, okay. Like, I can still do theater, but I can't do musicals. Yeah, I can't do this around.

These people are, that's a different level of like nerd. Whereas when you go to an art school, it's like, there isn't, that shame doesn't exist. Yeah. Everyone kind of supports pretty much every artistic endeavor. Right. Yeah. And so you get to really be a fucking nerd with, you know, that doesn't have to worry about like getting mocked or ridiculed or anything like that. Right, yeah. That's one thing that

not shook me when I moved to SNL is I was like, oh, everybody's really supportive. Yeah. Everybody. But I was like, oh everybody's really supportive. Yeah. Everybody. That's like a different thing. I think I used a little roasting on that show. You just a little- This is very supportive. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're all gonna be very- Too many Harvard. But also, it was like everybody was new and now it's starting to feel a little bit more- Let's get a cutthroat. Now it's getting a little bit more- Let's get people having panic attacks in the bathrooms. It's fun. Yeah.

Before I was just like, you walk into an office and someone would be silently crying at their guests. I'm like, hmm, okay. Come back. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's bad. Yeah.

I'll never forget like knowing, finding out I was pregnant right after, like I knew I was pregnant, but I hadn't tested or anything. So I was like walking past Travis Kelsey had like done his thing. Oh, hell yeah. He'd done their reading and he's so bad at reading. Yeah. He's like this crazy CD.

And I was just like, He said tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs eldest. Yeah, he's like, Oh, thank you. Yeah, I just see, you know, I'm like the Kansas City Chiefs eldest. Yeah, he's like, Oh, thank you. Yeah, I was saying, No, I'm like, Mr. Lifelong leader. I'm like, what's he written?

Yeah. Yeah. He was, he was sitting there like, doing his, like we do like the table read needed, half of it and he fucked it up and he was like, in his dressing room and I walked past the dressing room and I hear him practicing reading with his, with his jock friend.

Oh no, no. And I started sobbing. I was like, oh, something's wrong. I was like, oh, something's definitely wrong. I'm trying because of football players practicing. There's a millionaire Super Bowl champion. Can't read. Yeah, I was like, can't read his monologue.

It was literally just, and it wasn't even that, it was just like how sweet it was. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That like two jocks were practicing reading together. Oh true, true, true, true. And I was like, That is cute, yeah. What is going on?

Yeah, no pregnancy test needed. Right, I know some, my hormones are off. Some of you is off, yeah. But I'm like, oh, what a sweet dummy. Yeah. You know. Well, I love it. Why don't we look?

We could talk all day, variet so much interesting stuff to get into. But we got to bring this soon to be mother former alcoholics. We should even get into her perspective to our listeners problems. So why don't we take some questions, Rosie? Has that sound? Yeah sounds great. Let's do it. Strawberry baby. Strawberry baby. Try to keep this short and sweet. Been with my wife. Almost four years. Her whole family loves me except for her fucking mom kind.

Oh my god. That's what she's controlling controlling Jesus. She doesn't like that. I'm a carpenter, but I smoke weed, drink a fair amount, but I mean, no more than the average person I was. And I'm like, we're in a letter to my wife stating how I don't have much money, say, but I drink too much. And my wife is just like, this is this is how mom is how she's always been

suddenly like anybody but I cannot stand being around this bitch and she lives in South Carolina now I'm living in Cincinnati but she's moving back soon and I'm fucking dreading it and I'm getting nervous that she's going to affect my marriage because I don't like being around this kind. And I swallow my thrive, I do things for, and I do everything I can. Oh my God. Make peace. But every time I see her, she's got some old-sheer remarks, something to fucking say,

like, my life is in shambles. And I have money saved me and her to spot an awesome house And then on the flip sides. She's always bitching at me to fucking have to Compose here and don't really know how to handle this time and I just made a little Drop three I don't know why she doesn't like you It is possible she's a dumb bitch, but man Yeah, I mean it's possible. She's so nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is possible she's a dumb bitch, but man, you gotta work on your messaging partner.

She sounds horrible, but you can't drop three. It's really hard to take your side here. You can't drop three, she bombs in a row. He's definitely like leaning to the side and farting in the middle of his head and says that they're gonna say, Oh, it's clenches. Yeah. She's always fucking shitting on me You know, Ro he's definitely like leaning to the side farting in the Yeah, this is a tough I don't know do you do you have any any insights about in law? Do you have any in law insights anything like that? Yeah, I mean listen in laws are tough because they're like parents you can't be mean to. It's just like, and that is what it is.

That's a good way to put it in. And you just can't be mean. So I kind of get why it's like all coming out like while he's writing to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's just like you hold it in so hard when she's around, but yeah, I don't, I don't know, man, it's really hard to tell who's a bigger client. It's really hard to tell. I guess, okay, yes, it really is.

And I think... I mean... Okay, so she's moving back, but is she moving... It's not clear like if she's moving back into their house? Not into their house, but I think she's just in the same city. All right, so... I don don't know how hard is it to avoid your mother-in-law? I mean, if she's moving back in,

she seems like kind of person wants to be involved a lot. There's no kids to be involved with though. I guess that's true, but who knows? They might have like kind of a family that gets together a lot. I don't know, it seems like he's worried about it. Right. Now look, she's worried about it. Right. Now look, she's got some fucking horrendous remarks.

Yeah, writing a letter to your wife is a pretty contimum. That's crazy, writing a letter. Basically being like leave him. Yeah. And then on the flip side, she's always bitching me to have kids. She just wants grandkids at this point.

She doesn't really give a fuck about you. You think it's not confusing. She wants grandkids and she'll gladly, she'll gladly be in your children's life, but not worry about you at all. She'll gladly root for you to get her daughter pregnant and then her daughter to divorce you in the same year. She doesn't care for a fuck.

And once people get old, they stop worrying. They don't really worry about that shit so much. It's like, I just want my daughter to have a kid that I can help you know whatever. And if it's helpful at all, the more a parent pressures you to leave your spouse, the harder you're gonna stay. I mean, it's like, she can write all the letters that she wants to fucking your daughter to Congress to who gives a shit. Yeah, no one

Your wife's not going anywhere because the more letters she gets from her mom being like He's bad news the more turned on she's gonna get. Yeah. Well, that's a good point That's certainly a possibility. I guess my question here is like look. There's nothing you can do about your mother-in-law This is more important. I think talking about this with your wife is really the important thing. I feel like- Not like don't do it like this though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't do it like this. No, absolutely not. But if, like let's say, let's say he's right. And her mom- I believe he's right. Is being a bitch, has these like really, or needles in with these remarks, is kind of whatever.

Yeah. I think it's kind of a red flag if his wife doesn't support him and take his side a little bit here. You know what I mean? Like, that's, to me, the worry is, because he's worried about his marriage being affected. Here's the thing. If you're gonna be a really good husband,

you're gonna say like, you're not gonna force anybody to take sides. You're gonna make it easier on her. Like, if your, because her mom is gonna be there, just like, gnawing at her and being like, you should be the way that I want you to be. And she doesn't need two voices in her head, telling her like, you're on, it's me or her.

Good point, yeah. It's me, you know, like that is the less loving thing to do, I think, across the board. That's a good point, that's true. And it's ultimately, it is her fucking mom. And the less you do that, the more your wife is going to take your side naturally. It's like, if you're kind of like, yeah, she can,

she can go ahead and do whatever she's got to do and say whatever she's got to say about me. Like, we're already married, you know? Yeah, I guess the way to look at it is treat your mother-in-law like she's a homeless guy that got into your house. Yeah. And when a homeless guy calls you a fucking fat idiot,

you're like, okay, sorry, but just, she's the way you're like, you feel bad for the homeless guy, you're like, this guy's, but just, she's the way you feel bad for the homeless guy, you're like, this guy's insane, his life is so much worse than mine. She's a miserable old bitch. On some level, her life is so much worse than yours. She has no control. She's gonna metal in your shit.

She's gonna try and metal, but if you just let it roll off your back, you're absolutely right, Rosebud, because you're completely correct. And like, my first thing was like, get your wife in the mix, let's be a team about this. Let's look at her mother as a problem together. But that can be hugely backfrog.

You're gonna make your life so much easier by just letting it roll off your back and literally paying it no attention at all. Treat her like an insane person who's snuck into your home. Yeah. And just be nice and just kind of be like, you know, killer with kindness. Don't let it get to you the way it's clearly already gotten to you. And you know, do you have some other issues?

Like, do you have problems with criticism? Maybe she can sniff it on you. Because the last thing you want is to just get goaded into an argument where you will look like a piece of shit. Like if you blow up at her, it fucking thanks giving you an car or a car. She's literally trying to get this out of you. Like she's trying to get all of this.

She's winning by you behaving this way. Exactly. No good point, good point. It's kinda like if you just like sit back and go like, all right, whatever lady, just keep yapping till you're dead. I'm still here and I'm gonna to impregnate your dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, okay.

Or even better you could fuck with her and be like, like that old Louis C. K. Bitt about giving a, like how fun it is to give a little kid the finger. Because they can, because no one will ever believe them. Like, say it's whisper a trotious shit to her. Or you know, like,? You're gonna die Barbara. You're gonna die sooner than me.

Just write it in her mashed potatoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah, that's nothing you do. You could not poison her, but you could put a little, you know, what's the thing that makes you shit? Relax, relax. Relax, relax, relax. You're relaxed. Yeah. You know what I mean? thing that makes you shit? Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs.

Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs.

Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs.

Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little X-Labs. Little can't get caught. That's very high risk. Yeah. Did you get caught? You know, whispering death threats to your mother-in-law. You're gonna get in trouble. Yeah, but maybe everyone's gonna have

she really piss you off, treat yourself to one little X-Lax pill in her fucking monkey toe. To me, I'm like, there's no way this is gonna affect your marriage unless you get caught. Yeah, so. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Good luck, buddy. Yeah, so. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Good luck, buddy. That sounds horrible and truly an atrocious situation, which I don't wish on anyone. No, that's awful. It's really awful. I have it. Yeah, I don't know how it handle a bad.

Like, I really would, this would work on me and I would blow up at this woman. I just know I would. I've been in that position with a different in law and I've fucking completely blown up and it absolutely blew up in my fucking face. And I'm like, just don't, I'm like trust me, the less you, it's just easier when you just don't.

You're right, and that's why we have you on the pod. Because I would have given this guy bad advice if you weren't here. Okay. Luckily I've lived it already. Fuck that bitch, dude. Yeah. All right, I'll just hit us with another one, baby. I would have given this guy bad advice if you weren't here. Luckily I've lived in already. Fault that bitch, dude. Yeah.

Alright, I'll just hit this with another one, baby. Gabby, baby. Love you. Love this show. I need your help. I called before about the situation. However, things have escalated and my husband and I really need some advice. So we have a super close friend.

We've been helping for a long time. We care deeply for this person. And back in 2020, this friend started seeing a girl. They've been together for a while now. And she's just kind of a total bitch. I don't want to go out of her. It's a follow-up for us. This is new.

I don't think we ever did a call from her. I called before about the situation. Oh, but you just never played it. She sounds like someone who called in. My bad. I don't remember this one, but we're listening with fresh. And it'd be one thing if you were getting like amazing. Pussy all the time, but he is not. Oh, wow. I don't think he's getting laid laid and if he is, it's at an inexcusically low free time. So all that said, our Brian casually dropped some news on us and he thinks he's in quotations, found a ring. My question is how do my husband and I respond. Like, we feel like he might be settling.

We love this guy. We want to see him happy. So we just don't really understand why he's considering marriage with someone who kind of makes him what we perceive as like really miserable. Help us out if you can. I just, you know, I don't want him feeling. And I want him to be happy. But like. I just, you know, I don't want any feelings

and I want him to be happy, but like, I just don't know about this. So thank you, love you. Talk to you. Oh, man. This is a tough one. That's not. Yeah, so I have a couple questions.

How do you know he's not getting pussy all the time? This is my, that's my number one question. Yeah, what's the, where's the nanny cam? I don't even know how much he's nutting. Because a lot of times it is, people are very, like sometimes it's Occam's razor. And when you see a couple that seems like they don't get along, they just fuck awesome.

They just have an awesome setup. They just have some kind of something is like, and people that I can't get over, like even if I didn't like them that much or whatever, it's like, the people that really linger are the ones that fuck the best. I wish it was not the case.

I wish I wasn't an animal like that. But it's like, That's just the fact, that's just how it works. That's just a natural fact that happens. Like if they fuck really good, they're not the one, but that's, they still fuck really. Yeah, and sometimes someone is, if they fuck so good that maybe if they didn't fuck as good,

they wouldn't be the one, but they're okay enough, that there's some relationships that people take it that far. And it's like, that's the secret to their relationship is that they keep fucking. Yeah. There are relationships like that true um but it if so that's that would have been my one guess But this doesn't feel like you you seem really know this though

I mean it feels like they really know it and I also which means I feel like it came from him like that he told them possible Yeah And and I wonder so you have you have this close friend and You guys know each other for a while and he started seeing somebody three years ago and you don't like her basically Right now part of this is like sometimes it's not about like it's tough to realize it's not about you and this could be what he wants and You know Do you have to kind of like check what you want versus like, hey, if this makes my friend happy, fine.

Yeah, I mean, some people are just, they just wanna cut themselves. It doesn't feel that way, right? And that's just what they're into. You know, like, but okay, but let's take them at face value and say they're completely right. This woman's a fucking idiot. I am. Yeah, okay, cool let's, let's take them at face value and say they're completely right. This woman's a fucking idiot.

I am. Yeah, okay, cool. I'm saying he might want to cut himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Emotionally. Right, right, right. He might just want to, he might want to sign up for life of punishment because that's to get some horror.

And that's just the way it is. Okay, but now let's say there is no positive to it and he's just kind of like He will be miserable and this woman is kind of because this happens to where it's like someone does kind of take advantage of another person Yeah, I don't believe that there's I don't believe that it's like a hundred percent One sided though like that like if if you are and I believe this in all relationships that are like clearly toxic relationships, that having been the person on both sides of it, I'm like, there's some kind of agreement that you've either made with yourself or with this person, where it's like, okay, yes, I'm miserable,

but I get to feel like a hero, because I'm putting up with this person, and I'm such, but I get to feel like a hero because I'm putting up with this person. And I'm such a good person because look at all the shit that I deal with. And then all your friends are like, you're such a good person. Why are you doing this? And you're like, I don't know. I guess I'm a fucking angel. And you just get these paths on the back and you feel like a hero, but you are filled

with deep foaming resentment. Yeah, but exactly. It's going to eventually just, you know, he's going to kill her. He's going to end up killing her and he's going to get a Netflix documentary and you're going to enjoy watching him. You're going to say, look at him shine. He looks so good.

He looks so good in those prison tan uniforms. Yes, you're absolutely right. That can happen for people, but I also think like, they're basically saying, how do we save this person? Do you think it's possible? Do you think they can, because in my experience, you really can't. No.

I was gonna say, I don't wanna bum you out, but absolutely not. You just kinda have to be there, be a supporter friend. If they wanna, if you wanna try and steer things a little bit, that's fine, but like, sometimes I really, if you really go against someone who, a significant other that the person is, just has made their mind up, then you risk kind of alienating your friend too. Yeah. If they feel like this is the person they love

and you just come fucking, you can have a moral victory and be correct. Or you can stay in this person's life who's your best friend. We got a fucking theme going on here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we really do. So I don't know, like, I don't know what you can do here. Truly, it's like, if he brings it up,

if he asks for your advice, you can be forthright, you can be, you don't know what you can do here. Truly, it's like, if he brings it up, if he asks for your advice, you can be forthright, you don't have to lie. Yeah, you don't have to pretend like you're happy for him. But also you can't, like, I don't know, what do you wanna do? Sit him down and be like, have an intervention, but your fiance is a dumb bitch intervention? I don't think that'll work.

That's not gonna work. That's not gonna work. That's not gonna work. That's a big bad situation. Sorry, pal, that's just, that's the way not gonna work. That's not gonna be a bad situation. Sorry, pal. That's just, that's the way it is. Sometimes your friend ends up with a dumb bitch. Yeah.

And you just kinda have to. Sometimes you marry a lady with a dumb bitch mom. Yeah, yeah. You know? Tough. Sometimes it just happens. Tough stuff. Sometimes the moms that cut, sometimes the girlfriend's

that's right. That's right. Sometimes they both are. We all gotta live with constant our lives. Yeah. That's right, that's right. Sometimes they both are. We all gotta live with constant our lives. That's the moral of the story. So yeah, we really don't got much for you. Yeah. If it pops up, you can be honest, but I would say do not push it.

Don't try and sit them down and preemptively break them up. That's a weird move. Yeah. You got some, some a little different different elders are is all the same shit. Not to look about the start of the movie. I like this. I don't know if you've ever seen that movie twins. Oh yeah. Worked an egg or a movie to be go. But I've i've got that situation how could you i'm going to tell me i'm caught in it

i'm making a ton of money i love my career all up my life from home i work out all the time great shite pauses for you so day the movie twins for those of you don't know i watched it very it very recently, actually, it's on Netflix, so go check it out. It's, Danny, Arnold Schwarzenegger,

there was an experiment on an island to make the perfect man. And like eight of the world's smartest and some of the most jacked men all beat off in a cup and they mixed it together and impregnated one woman. And they made Arnold. And they made Arnold, right? And then Arnold finds out later that there was

an accidental twin and it was Danny DeVito and Arnold's the man he's a genius. So this guy, to be clear, not coming off very sympathetic because he's, if I had to guess, he's saying he's Arnold. He's saying eight of the of the world's most handsome and jack man he'd often a cop in the way of me. Yeah and Danny DeVito in the movie by the way he's Danny DeVito he's a con man but he also gets a lot of pussy in that movie. He does.

It's kind of crazy how much that's a part of the plot is that he fucks. He's hot in that movie. I feel like he's hot. Yeah, he's not even that fat. He's not fat, but he's just a tiny man with a, he's got a full ponytail. Yeah. And he's getting pussy. So anyway, that's a little twins primer. It's tiny Tony soprano.

Yeah, he has that vibe for sure. He's involved with the mafia. Yeah. You know, I don't want to spoil too much. Great movie you should see it. So anyway, this guy's claiming he's Arnold that feels like, let's finish the question i'm just really happy man and things are going well

but like my older brother is like three years older than me he's like you fat he's bald and he works like a dead-end job that hates like hates his girlfriend he's just like he's like unhappy in his life. When I was younger, it would be really cool to hang out with each other. He was cool. But now it's kind of like, I don't know, man, like I intimidate him or something or I make him feel bad. I want him to feel bad. So I try to like, you're definitely making him feel bad. Going on and how great things are. but then I just feel like we don't

really connect on anything you know and like how do I how do I like you know not like son and just by like you know yeah yeah I'm so fucking awesome it is causing my problem, my brother's serious psychological problem. Like just being me. Yeah, I'm not working. I'm not filling him with fucking jealousy just by walking, breathing through a room. What do you think?

And by the way, which is why he's a fucking work from home lawyer. Yeah, but that's a lot of kind of lawyer. I was fucking relaxed. I was just sitting right there. I was like, it seems like a red flag. And by the way, you didn't have to frame this as a twin situation, okay? You're not Arnold, you got an okay job.

You probably live in some shitty fucking city. You probably make $90,000 a year and you think you're rich and your brother's just kind of, going through it right now. Your brother's probably like living a real life. Yeah, he's living real fucking life I work out a couple of missed carriages. Yeah, it's probably been through some shit He could write a book You just you've got like you could do like a motivational podcast for assholes

Yeah, it does sound like maybe you do subscribe to some of that well, you know, I guess this he's calling it a style We're also let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Let's not let's not claim. He's an entertain Guy or something like that, but we know So look didn't have to frame it twins wise But it is very possible that I do think that like the sibling dynamic that can lead itself to because it's natural to kind of compare yourself to your siblings and there is it is natural to like if you feel like if if this guy if his brother fat and balding on the sound so bad to me personally that does I don't know why you had to lead with those two. That's kind of weird.

Yeah, the room situation. I think that's fine. I think plenty of flattened balding men manner meant to be respected in positions of authority. That's neither here nor there. Dead and job. It's symbols even. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dead and job hates his girlfriend.

Those are kind of markers of like, maybe this guy is depressed. Like this could be a clinical, he's literally clinically depressed. Your attitude is strange. I feel like you're not really trying so hard to connect to your brother and it feels like- It seems like you're disappointed

that he's not happy for you. Yes, that's what it is. And you're mad you can't brag more around him. Yeah. It feels like which, look, what else do you guys connect with? It's not like when I hang out with my brothers, we don't talk about our fucking careers. We don't talk about, we watch fucking dumb movies.

We, you know, we just like, we go out to eat, we hang out, we shit on our parents. You know what I mean? Like, we do brother shit. I don't have to like, and maybe I've helped my brothers with their stuff. Like, I've been lucky, like, the last couple years have been good and I've like helped my brothers out

with like, their jobs, their careers, whatever. But it's like, we don't fixate on that stuff. We just hang out as brothers. When you see your sisters, I'm sure you guys are just like, you're falling to like, you know, you just guys hang out, like it's not. Well, I come from a different kind of family.

Okay, hey, everyone is good. Everybody's very achievement focused. Okay, interesting. But it doesn't make any sense, because nobody's really achieved anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, it is all a farce, and that's what this kind of seems like to me is it's like. Yeah, your brother might be a little unhappy, but it's like when you're walking around being like,

I just don't understand why you're not happier for me. Yeah, he's like he's clearly in a bad spot in his life, which is temporary and he could fucking smoke you in the next two years. And you'll be feeling like a real asshole. And yeah, and because shit can switch, you know what I mean? It definitely can. And yeah, I think you're right Rosebud words, like he's clearly in a bad spot right now.

And it's like, well, why not try and fucking help him out of it? Why not talk to him about how he feels? Like I have gone, like my brothers have helped me out. My brother, I've helped my brothers out when it. Why not talk to him about how he feels? Like I have gone, like my brothers have helped me out, my brother, I've helped my brothers out when it's like, I can tell they're a little bummed and it's like, and even if they're hard to get to, it's like if you try long enough,

your brother will open up to you. But are you just trying to have like surface level interactions with him where it's like, yeah dude, closed case, you know, made 30K commission, like is that what you're trying to do? Are you trying to talk about buying a new car? But it's like, no, dude, closed case, you know, made 30k commission, like, is that what you're trying to do? Or you're trying to talk about buying a new car, but it's like, no, try and connect to him as a human being, do shit that you guys like together,

you know, whatever it was. For me, my brothers, it's fucking dumb action movies, taking sometimes taking a little mushroom, taking some edibles, you know, going, getting dumplings, like that's, we're very simple people. It's like, you might not be able to talk about all the great shit you have going on, but like, you're not, it's not, you're talking to your brother,

you're not doing a fucking like TikTok. Yeah. Just go watch a movie and if you can't talk to him about stuff, go watch a movie together and like, I don't know, talk about the movie. If there's nothing else to talk about, talk about something that has nothing to do with either of you. Totally. And by the way, my brothers have helped me like,'t know, talk about the movie. If there's nothing else to talk about, talk about something that has nothing to do with either of you. Totally.

And by the way, my brothers have helped me, like, you know, when I feel like this last tour, this last couple of years, like, have really fucked my health up, my brother's a trainer, he works out, I'm going to Baltimore, and he's gonna just help me out. We're gonna work out together for like a month. All I'm doing for the month of August

is working out with my brother. It'll be nice. We have some quality time together. Like, if you're saying he's fat, he's like, you know, depressed, and you work out all the time, can you, you know, pitch like, hey man, come work out with me.

I'll do, I'll show you what I do or I'll figure some stuff out. There's stuff you could tangibly do if you want to help improve your brother's life. And I think that's what you have to focus on. You might not want to do that if he's really like, if the dynamic is really like that, where you're, because I'm picking up

on kind of a competitive dynamic between the two of them, I don't know if that's true. I guess that's, I guess yeah, we, I guess I'm lucky we have a pretty. But like if one of my sisters, if I was feeling, if I was feeling the way that I feel right now currently, and one of my sisters was like,

come over and work out with me, I'd be like, how about you go fuck yourselves? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And call me after. Sure, yeah. So you can read the room, maybe, you know, have a slice of pizza with your brother and get him into therapy.

Yeah. I don't know what it is, but like whatever it is, figure it out and do a little like, you have to, you owe it to him if you really want to help him out. And you really, if he's bummed and you're in a great place,

you have to do a little bit more of the work. You have to think about how to approach him better. It is, now look, it can be kind of draining when like to really put that effort in, but if you love your brother and you care about him and you really want to do what you want to say, then that's what it's going to take. It's just going to take effort, like anything in life.

It takes you from him and just fucking be a good bro. I've been on both sides of that where it's gonna take. She's gonna take effort, like anything in life. You take cues from him and just fucking be a good bro. I've been on both sides of that where it's like, and you know, it's very, when I kinda see if I'm helping my brother through something, it feels very gratifying when it starts to feel like there's like progress, right? And the same thing, it's like, I felt like when I'm finally coming out of it

and my brothers have helped me, it's like, I felt like when I'm finally coming out of it and my brothers have helped me, it's like, I'm really grateful to them. So you need to work as the guy who's doing it. If you're truly Arnold, prove it by doing the hard, you have to do all the hard work, you have to save your Danny DeVito brother. Prove that you're Arnold. Prove that you're not a douchebag calling in with a false equivalency on this podcast. And it actually do the

Arnold world. It's obvious that he does want to connect with his brother because I feel like you wouldn't reach out. Sure. You know what I mean? It's just like coded in his language as his attitude. Yeah. So it made us go like, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously love your brother. Yeah, hit us with another one big held Hey, stop long time listener second time scholar. I called in on one of the very early episodes About getting my heart broken after I felt like heart for a girl on a first date like hard for a girl on a first date. First, I got past that now. He's past it. Probably eight months.

I haven't really been dating seriously. He's been working out myself, my personal and career goals. Replace it all as time you know. Let's clear about it. We're just hitting it back from, you know, old friends and benefits, start fucking a little bit again.

Not hitting it back from, you know, old friends and benefits, start fucking a little bit again. And one of the people I've been kind of connected with, she's by and we really want to do like a three-some-of-a-second girl. But my question is, you already know I guess the fucking disc goes on top. Nice. But do I go to those in this moment or do I just kind of like go for fully enjoying things naturally with like no risk of side effects, but then also risk like completely choking in the those in this moment, or do I just kind of like go for fully enjoying things naturally with like no risk of side effects, but then also risk like completely choking in the

moment and then just like completely fucking off this. Take a pill. You know, one time, kind of, the easiest question I've ever gotten. The type of opportunity, you know, just for some extra context, I tried one of these pills so far. It was pretty like awesome. I mean, in a sense of like it did exactly what's supposed to do, but it was also like my dick was like hell annummed. And I was having like hair on my head, and I told you that I mean you obviously like I don't need a fucking explain to you. Thank you. I know the deal. You're your last 15 weeks of my first special. Oh, no, this is a pause. This is another thing.

Literally, that this exact scenario was the last 15 minutes of my special. I fucked two girls with a soft dick and it was one of the worst moments of my life. And then I fucked them with too much of a dick pill and it was still pretty awesome even though I felt all these side effects. And my advice would just be be gold delocks with it.

Don't take too many dick pills. You know, just take the one. If you have to deal with a headache, you deal with a headache. You don't want to go into this soft pal. No. You will be regretting it for the rest of your life. Believe me, this opportunity is not going to come around many times and...

I obviously don't have any experience with this. But I will say when people ask me, like, do you want to do a natural birth? That's sort of the female equivalent of your situation right? Yeah, that's a great point. I don't need to experience that. No. Naturally. No. Give me the drugs. Yes. We'll get through it. Give me the drugs. Let's figure this out. And I'll walk away from this with a happy memory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. You can hold your head high with your numb ass, hard ass dick, pal. Yeah.

Uh-huh. What was you saying at the end? Yeah, what was the? That's the more. And my friend would be really interested in getting eldest to our company to speak to us and give us some career advice. This is not a dose, not a mean.

I don't fucking care what you have to say, stop. We really, really, really love to pick out this brain. I'll just please hit us back to it if you're just a, you know, my number. That's awesome, dude. Thanks, stop. I like this guy a lot. I like this guy a lot.

There's something I really, he's gonna get on this shoulder. I'll just like go to kindergarten with a guy that ends up accidentally getting famous on the internet. That's this big advice. Go to kindergarten and become lifelong friends with a man that has an ironic podcast. And then the algorithm just picked him up and took him to New Heights. That's what eldest will tell you. Yeah.

Yeah. Me to guy who wins the lottery. And you're sad. Yeah, me the guy who wins the lottery This could be the start of my standup career This corporate eldest corporate eldest charging fucking I'm gonna I'm gonna hire J.P. To write me a tight time I'm like there you gotta help me out here Elders charging a thousand dollars an hour Hey listen man, I'll just a free listen what he does off company time that's up to him

But yeah, get in my DM come back ready No eldest hilariously has become good at his job. I was never expecting him to learn all this. I was expecting him to be horrible until the end, but. It's incredible. He really has. This is crazy how good he's gotten it all this day. Don't give yourself applause. Yeah.

Slow down. Slow down. Slow down. But yes, take the dick pills, don't be a fool. You know, just do what it takes. You want to get in their heart. It's so curious about the top of this email I'm so sorry, but I'm just like really I want to know the top what do you mean?

I just want to know what that I know it's on an email. Sorry. We're really the voicemail But yeah, I want to know exactly what the thing you said about getting his hard-broken our first date. Yes Yeah, that's tough and it's been eight months and he had to really focus on himself I'm just I I'm like, definitely take a day off. I'm trying to think what, call that, that may have been on like the first Sam Marille episode, like episode one, I don't know. Did we answer his call? It sounds, he's making it sound like that.

But either way, if he's been working on himself and his personal life for eight months, I do think take the dick pills. Take the dick pills, you don't want it, yeah. That's a V-reads as as like I haven't nutted in. Yeah. He started hooking up with his friends with benefits who's gonna set him up with a threesome.

Don't be a fool, take the dick pills. That's great. Yeah. I'm gonna go a little left. Hold on. Go ahead, Eldis. Don't succumb. Go in natural.

If you lose it, if your dick doesn't get harder, something fuck it. No, not worth it. Not worth it. not worth it. I say fuck it. You can say that you're perched in your comfortable relationship. You'll never face this dilemma. You're not in the fucking arena, okay?

As a man who's had three sums hard and three sums soft, I'll tell you, take them hard every day. Okay. I'm very hard. I have had the exact thought why didn't I take dick pills mashing my semi hard dick into two hot girls and just having them blow me Very hard on the dick pills are slippery slow kind of that's what I feel about it. Call me cool running I'm down that slippery slope, brother. I'm fucking, I'm all the way down. If Dick Pilz or a slippery slope,

call me cool runnings. Needs to be a T-shirt. I'm on that bombsled head first. Oh my god. I wish this guy luck. I really shouldn't have believed me that. I do. I think if he takes the pills, he's gonna be rock hard. He's got a great time.

And so will they. So will they. That's the other thing, Eldest. You're talking selfishly. It's not just about you. There's two other people in this equation. Right. I, every time my dick hasn't gotten hard,

I hold my head up high. I don't succumb to social pressure. I don't believe that's the Albanian you did. Let me tell you something, that's like getting too soft days. A proud soft man. I'll never apologize. Sometimes you're... Sometimes jamming off-riding.

Sometimes jamming off-riding. There's nothing wrong with it. If it's happening three or four times in a row Yeah, there's the guy you want to pay for career advice the guy Get hard and hits me and hits me. Who's soft and is proud of himself. Okay? You need to be humbled by a soft dick a little bit. A little bit.

You need to apologize just a little bit. I don't want to beat yourself up, but you have to be like, all right, I should. It's got to be the woman's job to lift you up again after your dick gets soft. No, keep it cool. You can't beat yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And listen, what you're talking about in a relationship or a hook up, whatever, yeah, yeah, yeah. And listen, what you're talking about in a relationship or a hook up, whatever, yeah, every once in a while,

something might happen, your dick might not get hard. That's natural. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that you cannot leave to chance in my personal estimation. It's definitely a bit suitcase full of dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If only, and by the way,

and this is what you're missing out on, this is the kind of a sponsors This is the number one show without a dick to a sponsorship Throw me hundreds of thousands of dollars look at this native advertising you could have had right here This is crazy. I know crazy. I'm about to clip this and send it to every Dicto manufacturer do it Let's do one more here. How long have we been going here, LD? We're at 139.

I got to go on to take us home. We've got our friend Rosie home. She's with child. We don't want to overwork her. It's illegal. Hey, Stavie. Eldest. I've got a question about restaurant etiquette. I'm a regular at a Lebanese restaurant and at a Thai restaurant and I want to know if it's ever

okay to ask them to modify an order. I get the same thing at the Lebanese restaurant, a chicken soup with spinach pie. It's great. I think it'd be great if he just put a handful of partially and squeeze a lemon on that chicken soup. And the Thai restaurant always get a sticky rice with papaya salad and crispy beef. And I think the crispy beef would benefit from a handful of cilantro and squeeze a lime, maybe a little scallion.

But I don't want to overstep my bounds. I mean, I'm regular, both of those places. The vibe is really cool, especially at the Latin user restaurant. I always had something cool to say when I'm in there. But, excuse me, I think the dishes would benefit. I'd be a happier customer, but I don't want to jeopardize my status of these. There's a few restaurants. So let me know what you guys think.

If it's cool or if it's not worth the risk. All right. Thanks. Bye. Damn. This man is a well planned, well thought out. How do you make it out the door in the morning? This is crazy to me because like, it's one thing to be like, hey, can I get fries instead

of rice or like, could I get, she add cheese or something like that. But you've, you've taken it to like the recipe level. Yeah, it's kind of the phrasing of it is a little, but I understand why he thinks it's going to be bothersome. Well, here's what I'll say. There's nothing wrong with asking for lemon and lime respectively right yes you can ask for a slice of lemon you can ask for a slice of lime do whatever the fuck you want with it but when we start talking about cilantro parsley and cilantro and like a handful what do

you tell you can't tell them what their recipe is they don't fucking have a cilantro they don't put sparsely on it what the fuck do you want let's scallion scaly You can't ask for that. Now you're getting a little crazy in my opinion. I think you're good with the lime. I think you're good with the lemon. But you know, you could do is ask for the recipe. Make it at home with your modifications.

See if you can do better. I don't, yeah. But you could, but that's like if you're a real, real regular and you're friends with the owner and you're like, look, I get it if you can't do this, but I could but that's like if you're a real real regular and your friends with the owner and you're like look I get it if you can't do this, but I love this so much. I would love to make it at home If you've ever if you're ever down to give somebody the recipe. I'm first in line. You can just say that sure I think I think it's tough to ask for a restaurant's recipe I think that's even you're overstepping even more. Oh, well, I'm a white lady

recipe. I think that's even you're overstepping even more. I was like, well, I'm a white lady. I think that I just, I'm hung up on the parsley and I'm hung up on the cilantro personally. Yeah. I don't know. That seems it's just, you can't tell a man what kind of herbs to serve you in his dish. No, but you can ask him for lemon. Like the herbs are not a side dish. Why is that so funny to me? You can't tell him the hand.

What kind of herbs to serve you in a stew. Yeah, absolutely can't. I think it seems like he knows the way of the land there and he's a pretty normal regular. Yeah. So if he knows, if he's seeing constant parsley cilantro, whatever the fuck he wants wants and he just has a sense that it's like very readily available Nothing wrong with asking for a little on the side Put on your put on your suit Okay, you know it. Yeah, that's a thing ask for parsley a little extra parsley and cilantro on the side

And phrase it that way on the side you you have to do the work here You have them And a little parsley on the side. You have to do the work here. You have to get them. You can have them like. You can have them in line and a little parsley on the side. Yeah, yeah, I think, okay, fine. This needs to be on your dish level and you gotta do the work. Don't send that back. I would skip the little less scallion thing.

Yeah. You can't do that, buddy. That's, again, you cannot tell them how to prepare a dish. You can't, it's crazy. But, all right, you want me, you're right. If he's got a real rapport with them, he's like, hey, can I have a little cilantro on the side, a little lemon cilantro on the side?

That's, okay, I think that's fine. I like that order, crispy beef. That's a fucking crap order. I don't want crispy beef. I also totally understand the desire to tell someone how to cook it. Like, I've been very specific recently about the way that I want my dishes. But you're pregnant.

But you could always lie and say that you have a wife that is. That's always a lie you could tell. I've been telling people on planes I'm pregnant for a long fucking time just to get that aisle seat, buddy. Tell them my wife's pregnant, she likes it this way, then sit down and need it right in there. Yeah. Just make it crucial like it. Yeah, I think you're good.

I think you're good here, Poppy. Poppy? Let's see. Yeah, I, you know, I, I've been a while since I've been anywhere long enough to be a, I really would just want to be a fucking regular somewhere where there's no you, where you're just going all the time, but I'm just never, you know.

Dude, I was saying that today, I'm like, it feels like a fucking vacation just to be home. Yeah, it really does. No, like I was so pumped just like, make rice and broccoli and salmon. I went grocery shopping today, I could have been fucking in the Bahamas. Great, I can't wait to just be in Baltimore working out my brother

and just like, cooking like, little healthy meals. That's so nice. That's what my vacation would be. You lost weight. I have not, I've gotten fatter. You have? Yeah, I think so. I thought you lost like 50 pounds.

I did two years ago and then I went on the road and gained probably 70. Oh. We look great, buddy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Jesus, how fatteremar think I was? The fastest I've been in a while. You know what? It's probably I got bigger and so you look smaller. I'll take it. I'll take it. I got bigger and smaller and that's just how it actually affects the eyes. and that's just how it actually affects the eyes. Beautiful recovery there, Rosebud.

Thank you so much for doing the podcast. It was so fun. Absolutely, thanks for asking me. Of course, so fun. You're on the road, where can people find you, where plug whatever you want. Yeah, I'm gonna be on Milwaukee, Milwaukee improv coming up,

Tempe, Tempe, Providence, fucking whatever, you can find all my dates at RosebudBaker.com. Love it. Yeah. Tempe, Tempe, Providence, fucking, whatever. You can find all my dates at rosbudbaker.com. Love it. Yeah. Yeah, go find Rosebud, go see your live, pods, whatever, Instagram, whatever you wanna plug. Yeah, Rosebud Baker, across the board, all over the place.

You can just find me everywhere. Hell yeah. Yeah. Go see Rosebud, listen to her stuff, see her stuff, and then- You can see my special too, Whiskey Fist on YouTube. Yes, Whiskey Fist on YouTube. Yeah. Great special.

Check her out and yeah, we'll be back soon. Thank you guys, we love you, bye bye. Bye bye. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with

multiple rooms. And in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around, the Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. for my family. Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or

justification, get an Airbnb.