Stavvy's World - #34 - Grace Kuhlenschmidt

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

Grace Kuhlenschmidt joins the pod to discuss her last name having way too many letters, having crushes on Zac Efron-looking hotties before she came out, being so closeted in high school that she thought it was ironic to play softball, and much more. Grace and Stav help callers including a 21-year-old himbo who is considering being a sugar baby to an Australian cougar, and a man who still hasn’t gotten his sense of taste or smell back years after getting COVID. Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. 904 800 staff calling and a solve all your problems I'm pumped to have in this do in in a story Straight from the O pair capital of the world for green grace. I'm gonna fuck Kunl Schmidt Cool and fuck I love it. Knewtl Schmidt That was because I used to say I Like pronounce your name with a hard D Yeah, there's like a in my in the pronunciation. I had your name with a hard D. There's like a, in the pronunciation, I had it with a kundal Schmidt. There's, there's frankly too many letters.

There's too many letters, real. They didn't spell this my last name in like seven letters, and they chose to do 13. Cool and Schmidt. Cool and Schmidt. Yeah, it sounds, doesn't sound bad when you say it. I think it's, but it's fucked up on the page. I know, it's really ugly.

Yeah, it sucks. It's real, real German in like the bad parts of Germany. I know. It really makes you feel like when you're reading. I'm only like, there's five consonants in a row. That's not a word on this. Yeah, and it's like, it's one thing when it's like Polish and they throw in some fun Zs and Xs and Xs and Xs.

Right. But you just got regular consonants. I wish I at least had an umat. That would be so cool. Umat would turn it up. Umo would have her own. You got to start throwing an umo in there. If I had an umo, I would just go by cool.

KUHL with an umo. I mean, it would change my vibe. I would actually take the H out. I would just go K-L and then let the umo do the same. And I would start my rap career too. Yeah, yeah, great school. That's cool, that'd be sick. And you could have like a lot of joke cool, the camel,

like crossovers. Oh my God, you're right. I'm gonna have to figure out my merch now. Yeah, you're younger than us, but did you remember, do you remember, Joe Cool? Not like very... He was awesome. He was a camel.

It was a camel. He was like the camel mascot and just straight up was to make children smoke. Yeah, because he wore sunglasses. He wore sunglasses. He was like, do you pull up some joke bullshit. He was so maybe he was maybe joke. He's a piece of ass for sure. Yeah, look at him. Oh my god. Like I'm just a little last kid to see in a fucking sick camel in a leather jacket.

He's got bitches. He's like, you know, he's got a murder like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know he's fucking awesome. He's playing piano and violin. And it just looks so, like to this day, that looks fucking awesome. Like I wanna smoke a cigarette right now. Right. I was six years old being like, I can't wait to smoke cigarettes.

I can not wait to fucking smoke. I think I literally, because I think I literally asked my parents for cigarettes. Yeah. Because you know, you're a dumbass little kid. You just advertising, just working on you. And I think that my parents for cigarettes. Because you know, you're a dumbass little kid, you just advertising, just working on you. And I think that my mom was very, when you brought something to her attention,

she was very protective, a lot of shit slid by. Of course. Little Venetia easily, but once I let her know how much, because I had a joke, I had a camel hat that I was just wearing to sleep. My work kid. I was seven years old in my most prized possession. I don't, I think it just, my dad was, I mean, you know, my most prized possession. I don't.

My dad was a carpenter and they all just wear free merch. Totally. Today you'll see a lot of Hispanic carpenter guys who will just wear a shirt that says princess on it. You know what I mean? A classic move where they just got it from the thrift store. I think Greg Jeraldo had that joke, I don't mean to steal it, everyone relax.

But my Greek day laborers and carpenters were very much the same. So any free merch, they got their hands on. It's graphic teens. I love it. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he wore a lot of like, I think I got it. I think it was my dad's hat.

If I had to guess. So you're like, I'll have a milk and a cigarette. If it was up to me, yeah. I mean, that actually is a pretty good meal. A chocolate milk. It's pretty well-fraud. A chocolate milk and a cigarette. We also might have come from our other friend

who's family just unapologetically smoked. Really? We still in the old, not do I think. I was there. My mom made me hang out with them less because I had asthma. No! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have a full smoker's call, seven? It's truly, but yeah, so. Yeah, I always thought cigarettes were cool. Like, I remember as a kid thinking, like, drinking is bad, but cigarettes I always was like, no, that's just visually, visually so awesome. Right?

Because like, we also, like, I'm 34, and so it was right at the cutoff where people were still smoking indoors. Totally. I remember when they stopped, when they made it illegal to smoke in bars. We weren't, we were sneaking into bars when you, I wasn't 21 yet, but it was like, the first bar experience was like you could smoke in bars.

A really beautiful time, and they looked awesome. If only we could still smoke on airplanes. I know, that would be awesome. Now we're sick to just, now we just so acceptable, like I want to smoke weed on an airplane. Yeah, I think they should do like, I'll be sick. Kind of how the, all those billionaires

just went on that submersible. Yes. They should have people where you could pay more, you could pay double to go on an airplane and smoke. That would be sick. The smoker's fucking lounge. They're really good. I mean, Snoop Dogg, where you at, dude, that's easy.

Soulplane for real, I would go on Soulplane for real if it was, that's a great movie. I haven't seen it on this one. It's fucking awesome. You think private jets just stink of like tobacco? Yeah, definitely they can do whatever they want on this fucking things for sure And I think they have a way to although I will not the brag I was on one private jet one time Please, Brad and yes, did I still on the same toilet Beyonce sat on yes, it's the Puma. I'm guessing she had the piss at some point

Maybe she didn't maybe she's through class She only peas though. I'm positive. Yeah, she definitely she definitely doesn't shit outside of the comfort ever She's got like the bathroom. She sits she's shits and you need like an NDA to clean. Yeah Like there's like one special made Someone taking day and yeah Yeah And she well they will kill you if they even get the faintest hint of like you're talking about Beyonce shoes.

100%. Yeah, yeah, cause that would, honestly, if you had a picture of Beyonce shit, that would go so viral. I would, and I would love to see it, honestly. I just right now, I'm one of the, I'm part of the problem. No, I'd like to see it.

I think that it could be really amazing if she came out with kind of like an everybody poops book. Oh, wow. That to see it. I think that it could be really amazing if she came out with kind of like an everybody poops book. Oh wow. That's interesting. When that be kind of something new. Yeah. Just so that we know that like beautiful women also.

Yeah, yeah. Who's the most shit forward hot lady do you think? I don't know. You know who it's probably going to be and it's not going to work because this is too much her thing is Jennifer Lauren Lauren's yes, J law it's gonna be her and it's not gonna work I can still see her and I'm like I know that they're pretty small poops Right you're right. She would live in my life. She would act like they're huge like dumps

And I just know it. They're not. They're not. What about Sharon Stone? I feel like she's pretty crazy. I feel like she's pretty crazy. Like she's kind of like Sharon Stone. I don't know, man. I don't know, just for the crazy factor, only that.

I don't know. In her prime, I don't think she's talking about her shits. Two, just too much like the absolute biggest piece of ass in Hollywood, she was awesome. Yeah. That's fair. Maybe now. I think now though. She's aged gracefully as like an ambassador for aging

and like maybe take, I mean, who had the shit, the diarrhea yogurt, Jamie. Oh Jamie Lee Curtis. Jamie Lee Curtis had diarrhea yogurt. Yeah. Activia, that was huge. Oh, that was her? That was her.

Well, no, I think it just makes you shit. So it's like- It makes you shit. It's like an explicitly- It's fiber. It's like a shit conscious yogurt. Totally. Like it's about shitting.

It's like keeping you regular, all that kind of shit. We should put all yogurt in goger form. I like that. It's so much easier. I goger was huge. I remember being pumped for goger form. I like that. It's so much easier. I goger was huge. I remember being pumped for goger. This is another thing that the advertising got my ass because again, we were around when goger dropped.

Yeah. And I remember being so pumped, but it's because it wasn't a cigarette, I asked for it and my mom got it for me. And then you just have hot yogurt in your lunch box. I know. And it's fucking sucked. Yeah, you were right. and then you just have hot yogurt in your lunchbox. I know. And it's fucking sucked.

Yeah, you're right. Like the idea that yogurt is on the go is one of the most fucked up ideas of all time. Also like it's in plastic heating up. Yeah, your hand is hot. Yeah. It's like it's a really fucked up idea. But those days everything in my lunchbox was hot.

My lunchbox itself was like hot to the touch. So like the water, my lunchbox was hot. My lunchbox itself was hot to the touch. So the water, my PBJ was melting. It was just horrible. Did you have a, do you have a, who packed your lunches and did they take pride in the lunch? My mom packed my lunches and she took pride in it, but my parents were all, we eat natural organic food. Oh no.

So yeah, even if I'd rather went to a birthday party one time. And when my mom picked him up, the mom was like, hey, can I talk to you separately to my mom? And she goes, so Jack ate about 20 peanut butter and chili sandwiches. And my mom was like, that's insane. And she was like, I just want to make sure that you're feeding your son.

And I was like, what? That's fucking sure that you're feeding your stuff. And I was like, what? That's fucking awesome. But it was because it was Skippy. Oh yeah, he had never had it. We're like addicted to sugar anytime we can get our hands on it. Yeah, Skippy, Skippy, if you only had natural peanut butter. Oh my god. It's like you peeled the chocolate off the Reese's peanut butter cups.

Still to this day, I can like appreciate natural peanut butter, but I'm like, Skippy'm like, there's something about like you need skiffy. Thousands of grams of sugar. They just do make it better. It's so sick. That's an awesome move on your brother's part to just eat 20 feet of EJs.

Was he a fat kid? He was like, I was much fatter than him always, but he was like chubby up until maybe like his teen. Gotcha. But I just stuck with it all the time. Stuck with the hell yeah. That was talking. I was like I'm never crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It always pisses, like I'm weirdly like happy and it always pisses me off when a fat friend loses like and it's like look I want my fat friends to get to stay fat for like entertainment totally. Totally. Like you can be a healthy person and be considered fat in entertainment and you're not you're like be the fatest guy in like the 70s. Right.

Little belly, you know what I mean? You can't lose the belly. Yeah. You know, and so I've had a couple friends who have kind of a bit Robert Kelly. He had some kind of procedure and worked really hard and he was fat as shit when we met. Not fat anymore, not really, I mean still fat, very fat and regular people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we should do an in-memory in for our fat friends the whole way.

The best example is my boy Ethan Soupli, who he was, he was fat as hell, but he got jacked. So I kind of respect that because you're still a big guy. This is always cool. Cause he's like, and he's not just like kind of jacked. That motherfucker is like, broad and huge mungus and strongest shit. That's cool. You gotta become,

cause I would, I am scared to become, I mean, people, people, I get it. Oh, don't worry, stuff. I wouldn't be scared. Fine, I beat you to it, motherfucker. I know, I'm,'t be scared. Fine, I beat you to it, motherfuckers. I know. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was fed as hell. Now he's like fucking jacked a shit. A fr... Oh my God. Yeah, I know that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no, he's had one of the coolest careers. He's been in so many sick movies.

Wow, for real. He's fucking a legend. I love that. He's worked in like, he's worked with so many cool directors. He's the fucking man. Cool. So many iconic movies. But yeah, he's so hilariously jacked now. But it's cool, because he's still so many cool directors. He's the fucking man so many iconic movies, but yeah, he's so hilariously jack now

But it's cool because he he's still in a 2xL Yeah, it's just big ass orange. You still got to almost eat the same amount of food He just doesn't eat like he just doesn't eat like sugars So do I that I was a cool I lived in Chicago for three years and the cool thing about living there was that I wasn't fat Yeah, she got a rules literally was so medium I know. It's fucking awesome. I would walk into places and be like, oh my God.

In this person here. Yeah, when you go to the thrift store and they have sizes bigger than yours, you're like, oh, they have fat people here 30 years ago. What the fuck? They're sure they're start at a large. They just go. It is awesome.

It's the kind of place where they use the term pip squeak a lot You know what I mean like they yeah to be a little man is so embarrassing No, he's got a go instead of like it being bad to be like I'm big bone. It's like no your brittle Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, if it had a little more summer I would consider moving there I love that city it is a cool city, but I mean Two months there. Yeah, yeah. It's insane. So you grew up all natural and should like that, where in LA is that? In LA?

Yeah, so in LA where your parents like entertainment people? No, I wish so badly right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, my dad like works for my mom, my mom works in real estate. Oh, hell yeah. She like sells houses. Love that. And so, yeah, so, but I grew up like in LA proper, like in the palisades, which is in between Santa Monica and Alabama. Oh, she sells houses. Love that. But I grew up in LA proper, in the palisades,

which is in between Santa Monica and Alabama. Oh, it's true. Truly boo. Yeah, yeah, west side. So it makes sense that they were into organic shit. I also love the dynamic of dad working for mom. I know, it's kind of cool. It's kind of cool.

I'm like, that did cook most of our dinners. And he's also like, not I'm outro guys. So like, I'm like, he's kind of like a by legend. Literally straight. Your dad is he's a coded. Yeah, but yeah, 33%. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, that's my dream.

I would love to just like, I thought about this. I would just love to just meet. We had another episode recently where my friend Jamel, who's a Jamel Johnson great comedian, who's a big WNBA fan, and I was just thinking, I would love to be cheering for my wife on the court. Like I would just love to be holding our son and being like, Mommy's killing it.

I do a couple shows, but I watch our son. I mean? That sounds fucking awesome. Stay at home is actually like that. Stay at home. That's the thing. Why have we been like saying that's lazy, that's the smartest thing you could do.

It sounds awesome. And by the way, if you're rich and a stay-at-home parent, you're not doing shit. That's fucking awesome. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, you got, but I'm'm not gonna have a cleaning person come on of course of course someone's gonna cook some meals I'm just hanging out with my kid probably in this fantasy. I have a fucking I have a gym in the basement I'm get fucking jack no 100 strong strong a strong season the same amount of pounds

Yeah, yeah, I can probably maybe not this I would be the strongest man alive. I'm winning Mr. Olympia. Yeah, oh yeah, it's going out of the stadium. I'm hitting a small blimp. If there's good, your blimp is flying over. It's fucked a big time if I'm the same weight, but just muscle. But yeah, I would love that's a great, I'm jealous of your dad. Right, except you have the mom in LA who like her, who by the way, I love her only job really all years like making their Christmas card. Yeah.

And you know she's freaking out about it. She's amazing. Yeah, it was crushing it. You always have the best Christmas cards and I'm like that's her job. Yeah, yeah. I love that little ceremonial shit. Throw in a couple sick birthday parties.

That's it. Get it. Get a fucking Christmas card. And then like, you know, like a couple really important meals. Like, you know, have some dinner parties too. Like a holiday. A big, you know, yeah.

Holidays and like graduations and like, just you basically an events coordinator I mean like an events coordinator and like a graphic designer. Yeah, who guess is just fucking chill Graphic designer on Microsoft Word. Yeah. Yeah. Oh those ladies have been going off with Canva When canva came out those bitches went wild with it I went wild with it. I just taught my mom, Candle. I bet you she's so stoked. She thinks this is really cool.

You can do so much. She just made bookmarks. Yeah. That's like an awesome. So you had, is this you and your brother? Me and my brother. Yeah. And he's younger older.

He's three, three, I think he's older than me. We're pretty close. Nice. Hell yeah. Yeah, he works in reality TV. Whoa. That's like awesome. I know so I get some like little bits of tea

about Fusha. That's awesome. What kind of shit has he worked on? He mostly works on MTV's The Challenge. Oh okay. A classic. A total classic. And he and I watched that growing up.

Wow. It's really fun. But he worked for like a season on Project Runway, keeping up with Kardashian project runway big favorite of Eldest is over here Love project runway college. Yeah, the great news is Heidi Klum and Tim gun amazing people No, I remember going to visit Eldest in college and just fucking project runway was on the living room to me You're like making close It's like

It's like Thursday night at night. There's a Pre-gaming yeah, oh yeah live getting fucked up about to get absolutely no pussy whatsoever Jugga Carlo Rossi Sticking down Carlo Rossi smoking some what flavor key tea or something. What I drinking. I like the burgundy burgundy No, no, I like the one that was like fuck they had one with bubbles That was a red one that I think was maybe it's burgundy the only red one. I think there might be another one I'm like there had to only be four flavors Yeah, I feel like mine was a it was a lighter red than burgundy. I don't remember

I think there was like pink one or something Not a pink Interesting, but yeah for those you don't know Carlo Rossi the the thinking man's mad dog 2020 Yeah, it was just a giant jug of some of the shittiest wine in the world Yeah, but that's what size wine should be yeah Sick of 750 millivere Give me some like it that needs a handle should be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're watching. I think of 750. Give me some like it that needs a handle.

Give me one. You pick up like a one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Classy still. Yeah. We're out there. We're watching our boy Christian Moses. Last name Christian Syria. We're watching Christian. Oh, God. I love him. He's a Baltimore. Right? He's a Baltimore. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you guys have mutual friends? No. No. But we claim him big time I had friends are in into a matter of bar and a napalist once like Christmas when he was back in respect like after he was popping Dude we got it. We got to get Christian on the show you got it Starstruck I think it's our stress. Yeah, you would be impotent. You were the first time I'd be star-struck.

I was like, I loved watching your designs every week. And you even hear of college. You wear sunglasses the whole episode. You're slowly crying. You're tearing up, absolutely. Mr. Shireon, thank you. I think there's a chance he could do it. You know why?

Because he is gay. And gay men do love podcasts. They do, they do, they really do. It's a great anomaly where it's like straight men, we're the ones kind of like, we're in the furnace room keeping the whole industry, we're keeping the whole industry afloat. But the glamour podcasters, they're all gay as hell.

You know what I mean? You're so ready. Gay like women gossiping. And by like, thank you for what you're saying. Yeah, of course, because if it wasn't for the thousands of atrocious podcasts, with four reviews from only their friends, the industry would collapse.

Yeah, yeah. The bottom of the podcast in Pyramid, one of the straightest places possible. One of the straight, conspiracy theory-laden, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really sick. We may have some friends we grew up with

that are helping out on that. But, yes, it's really sick. We may have some friends we grew up with that are helping out on that. But yes, gay men love. Cause it's, once it's set up, it's just, it's one of the perfect places to gossip. I mean, it's Gabby. It's one of the perfect places to gossip. It is. I love it.

And that's why, you know, we love, as I think Eastern European men who act gay. Totally love that. Eastern European guys act gay but are homophobic. And me and L this, we've taken out the homophobic part. Love that. We just like to gag, we love gossiping. Gossip is simply the best thing ever.

And I hate that, of course there's a clause to this. But I hate that as kids we were told don't gossip. Yes, yes. Because that's almost therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that is what therapy is at the end of the day. Absolutely. I think I'm gonna teach my kids to act about that.

To gossip. And the thing is when you gossip, you're kind of like, you understand the stakes cause it's like, oh man, I know I'm talking shit. Yeah. I'm up like, now I'm like, I'm eligible to be gossiped about. Right? So I better act correct.

Yeah. So I think it really kind of, where's like, oh don't say anything bad about anyone. It's like, okay, we'll just ignore it. And then I'll act fucking stupid. No, exactly. No, you gotta gossip, you gotta know. We get to food chain, you have to like eat and be eaten.

And the thing is, that's just how the world is. And if kids think it's not gonna be that way, they're in for a fucking rude awakening. Yeah, I'm telling my kids that at one. As soon as they can, before they know how to say mama. Yeah, yeah, I do love, I mean, it's very fucked up how much, how much like baby content is on TikTok. But it is awesome to see a baby

who has a fucking attitude. That's what like, I wish the, the parents should be tried and sent to jail. Without a doubt. But I do watch the videos where babies like, you know, side eyeing their mom or a baby's calling their mom fat. Like, you know, they're just like taking back yelling because they got like a, you know, their little pretzel

taking away or whatever. Great stuff. I just went through down a rabbit hole of this like hot couple. And they're like a downer rabbit hole of this like hot couple and they're like two kids and all of their content is them like the parents doing something silly and the kids laughing at them and they I'm sure are making over six figures. Absolutely without question. And it is really I can't wait for a documentary in like 10 years. Oh well the kids I mean that started happening where the first like Facebook mom kids have been growing up

and because that's the, that was the first, where mom's going viral on Facebook? They weren't, some of them were, but they were all posting crazy shit. Right, right, right, right, right. So it's like, and like venting and like complaining about their kids on their fucking Facebook walls. Oh my God.

And the first generation of those kids is like growing up and being like, what the fuck? Yeah. I do, I am holding out hope that there will be like a swing back generation of like kids who like set fire to computers and just live in the woods. Like I really do, I am hoping that's gonna happen. But for the time being, you know,

I know. I think my theory on why all that baby content is so successful is the same reason reason like it's like Society is like it used to be the aspirational stuff was just like money and like hot girls And you would like you would just all the stuff on the internet was stuff for like the classic You were like you're like a kind of successful guy, but you can't afford this and you'll never fuck a supermodel, right? But now it's like, that's not even, you're so far away from that,

that just like having a family that loves and respects you. You're marrying a girl from your hometown. Marrying the like fourth hottest girl from your hometown, that's crazy aspirational now, because these guys are getting, they're nothing good is happening, like your life sucks You have no you live with your parents. So just having like not even an impressive life

No, just a sweet wife and like a child that smiles like because I know that it hits me my algorithm I got off that shit cuz I was going crazy My algorithm was all like it was was like basketball highlights, classic, it was like, you know, steaks, it was like meals. It was just literally cooked steaks. Yeah, like just like awesome steaks, you know, like the finest cuts of meat. It was your traditional big-titted women, you know, of course. And then, but then like, the family stuff started, and all of them were working on me because

I wanted all of those things. Like I'm like, because I'm 34. Like I should, my brain is like, you should, this is a baby. You're like making vision boards and it's like huge boobs, just stay and two gorgeous kids. Just two kids that are like dropping a kid off

with soccer, like teaching a child lessons. It's not even looking at a cute baby. It's like teaching it, yeah. Like truly truly, a friend at like one of my best friends had a kid and I was like, oh fuck, like yeah, I'm invest. Like I wanna show this kid stuff. I'm wanna hang it. So it's gonna be really cool. And I know, yeah.

Shocking. I know, I know, it's fucked up how like, it's just gonna be completely cyclical and everything you want to have. Like what we want is gonna keep shifting But yeah, it's like you think you want to have kids. I don't know if I did like so hard I'm on the fence where it's like if I if whoever I end up with is like gung ho either way Yeah, I could see myself being either one of those people because I'm a great. That's also a feminist

Yeah, thank you. Oh, yeah exactly past the buck make the woman decide Yeah, and then and then resent her when it turns out it wasn't what I wanted Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, resent her be like you fucking bitch. I wanted fucking kids my name my family's dying out It's fucked up you fucking stop on a on a real note though It would be great to kill the jeans of my family. Sure. There is something to be like,

these don't need to keep going. Yeah, just ending. Let's get a couple adopted, motherfucker. Yeah, that's fair. That would be nice. Because then you could still spread that in your last name is carried on. Yeah.

So the legacy is still there. The legacy is the houseiest legacy. Yeah. Yeah. The houseiest legacy. Which I believe, I think I've told the story in the podcast. So my great, great, like eight times great grandfather. So you guys were really close.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the shit. The apparently the story is that that's not really our name, but that so he's from an island where the name Halkis was like Johnson or Smith or whatever, and that he had a different name, but that he did something heinous, either like stealing some more, stealing shit,

like fucking someone's wife, which in like, you know, 1800s, you couldn't, you know, and he left, and it was back in the day where you leave and you change your name, no one finds you. And the rumor in my family is that our, because someone tried to track like our ancestry in Greece And the rumor is that like it stops like they can't go back and that they think what happened and like the like gossip Intergenerational gossip is that we have an ancestor that just was a piece of shit that fled because we're not from the island

That that name comes from he grew up in mainland my grandfather grew up in mainland, my grandfather grew up in mainland Greece and his father was from mainland Greece. So it's like they're from this one village in like mainland Greece. We don't have any connection to that island and that's what everyone, that's what everyone's theory is is that he fled the island originally. Because I met, because I only found out about this because I met a bunch of kids in Baltimore

that are, they aren't called Garparthos. And there's a ton of those kids. And they thought they're like, oh, what party are you from? Like, I'm not from there. And it was just like, so there's a possibility that these jeans are really atrocious. They hear your last name, they're like,

oh, yeah. Yeah. Our great, great grandma told us about you guys. Yeah, no, there's literally a guy with my last name in Baltimore who thinks we're cousins. Oh really? You don't think you are though?

Not at all. Yeah, I've seen some like clenchements on Facebook and I'm like, I don't think we're gonna be friends. Yeah, yeah, but it's, so I don't know. I do think, and I also have a lot of like undiagnosed mental illness, a lot of hoarders in the family. Mm, and I have a really tough, a lot of hoarders. And I don't, I sense it in myself.

Like you see that room where I'm like, I just have the like, ah, this is, well use this someday. Of course. I have that in me. But that's resourceful. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you for saying that. But yeah, my- The comments are like, you are a hoarder. No, I'm a full hoarder. I mean, I'm not because I forced myself to throw shit away, but give me 20 years and like, and no family. I think you know, people, then we can comprehend, have a hoarder gene.

Yeah, probably. I know so many people that just, I keep the most random shit and put it in a corner. Yeah. It's not so you're like moving that you're like, yeah, I don't need this slip of paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I need this address of a guy I met one time. Yeah. 4 HDMI cables that don't need this slip of paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I need this address of a guy I met one time.

Yeah. 4 HDMI cables that don't work. I have like drink tickets from Union Hall. Yeah, I was like, I surely don't, also they're all color coordinated. And I'm like, did I think I was gonna like scam them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna be like, tonight's a green night.

I get green on my green cup. This really old, this like faded, you know, green ticket. Just to get a seven dollar ticket. Yeah. I straight up have out there drink tickets from the fucking creek in the cave, which hasn't been,

which hasn't been open for four years, five years. Those are going on eBay. So that's a German-ass sounding name. Do you have any, do you have like do you have any kind of German shit? We have, there's like a Coinsch mit Farm in Germany. Okay. Really small town, like truly middle of nowhere. And I did go in like six-graders, something,

and met like, I don't even know how they're related to us technically. Like in my direct lineage, no one was in Germany since so long ago. Gotcha, gotcha. Like they all moved to the US. But right around like 1940. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we covered my ass. No, I think that moved here like BC, here's definitely.

Yeah. There you go. Yeah. When we met my German cousins, when they're just like, I mean, I'm so pale, but you're truly just imagine half as, you're like twice as pale as me. That's hilarious and We they don't they are smart and like spoke English and everything. Yeah Also, they were all like going to Cambridge

That's hilarious like we had nothing to talk about yeah, and we took a family photo of like my We had nothing to talk about. And we took a family photo of my mom, my dad, my brother, and then the four of them. And in the photo, the four of us are smiling. And the four of them are just like, we were like looking at the photos after we were like, what the fuck? Like, I guess it's just like not normal.

I mean, if people do smile in photos, it's weird. Interesting. German people take photos like rappers smile in photos? It's weird. Interesting. German people take photos like rappers. They won't be. They won't be. Exactly. They're crossing our arms.

That's funny. They went for Charlie's Angel. That's pretty cool. I guess that, I mean, my cousins, I'm so related to them. So it's like, they definitely feel like family, just in a different language. And they're definitely the same. Like, the cultural changes not happens. And they're definitely the same. Like the cultural changes does not happen

because my parents were born in Greece. I'm the, me and my brothers are the first people born here. So I definitely feel like that connection to them. But we have other parts of the family where it's like, yeah, I have like a cousin who, a second cousin who, that motherfucker was just like, he went to MIT weirdly, like just never told us, he was in America, he was like this fucking genius. And he like, and then his wife, his wife also MIT,

and then he just like moved to Singapore, like it is really fucking interesting how quickly your family can like diverge. Like this motherfucker was, we'd go to the beach when I was a little kid. And you know, the other side of my family is all exactly saying people, they're loud mouths, they're pieces of shit, they're insulting you, the hoarder, my fat little hoarder on to keeps little trinkets from every European city she's visited. Also, to be a fat hoarder is so specifically, that's the elite, that's the top of the

top. Absolutely. That's kidding hoarders. Also to be a fat a fat hoarder is like so specifically that's the elite that's Skinny hoarders like All right, just get on pills and it'll fix it immediately fat hoarder. There's some yeah, and she's like she's so funny She's like four feet tall just like round this fuck her husband my my uncle's like has truly the roundest stomach You've ever seen in your life. And like, no joke, like, actually maybe not because it's too round. Like, it's too perfectly spherical. There's no gift.

There's no gift. Like, you hit his stomach, it sounds like a fucking jembe. It's like, bung, bung, like, he's fucking crazy. It sounds like you drop a rock like in two months. Yeah, yeah. He's had diabetes for 30 years. He's like a fucking pig.

Doesn't give a fuck at all. Just I guess is cool to dot. Like still, you know, he's pretty old, but he's still making a work. By the way, they know the best restaurants and Athens, it's fucking awesome eating with them. Oh, I bet. Oh, I was thinking the other day,

I love, you know what I love? Mango the fruit. I love its sweet, its delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off. I've been like, this actually, one time after a day I was like, want to come back for some fruit salad and I thought it was smooth and then some girl after she fucking was like that was so weird you asked me to come over

for a fruit salad I was like I don't know I wasn't dry and I didn't I wasn't drinking at the time well they say mangoes are an effort easy act well here's the thing I'll thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango. And I've oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. And I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome.

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Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary because like I said I've tried them all out. They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life but let me tell you this made my dick harder than ever. We're talking, zwing! You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing! That's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock.

It was pure metal. After I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light. Yes, one little gleam. One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. little gleam, one little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. MangoRx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. I don't know. Yeah, I, because like I said, I've done a bunch of them.

And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science shinin here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart, making your dick hard science in the field, right? People who have a beautiful goal, here's their mission. Make America hard again, eldest. Then, you know, let's get, can we get,

fuck, fucking idiot. There you go, sorry. We tried to give it the applause, it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again. I think on, whatever side of the aisle you're on, conservative liberal leftist centrist. You could we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks,

all this division in the world would go away. All this. I think this is such a good product. Eldis, I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on on ED medication in general because look, here's the thing about my ego, Alex, you might not need it, but you're going to want it, pal. Yeah. All right. I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes.

A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed. You've seen you see me take getables. That's sure just because you want a little dummy. I'm so much to get high as well. I'm saying you take weed atables. I've seen you take fiber atables where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary a momentary snack. I've seen you take thumbs on an empty stomach just because you wanted the taste and that's how we got elders through the door here with mango Rx. It's easy folks buying mango buying mango is so easy

just go to mango rx.com complete a short and secure telemedicine visit you're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over in literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing quick Quick and easy. Be sure to use code stav20 to save 20% off your first order. You and your partner are going to love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together?

We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the

most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. How often do you go to Greece? I went, I had, I didn't go last year because shit just got a little crazy, but I try and go every year. Cool. Now, it's cool to go, it's cool to go,

I mean it's different because like, Jeremy doesn't really mean shit to you, but like, it's cool to go, because we used to go with like Jeremy doesn't really mean shit to you, but like it's cool to go, because we used to go with my family and I was like, fuck, Greece is annoying. And then I went by myself and I was like, oh no, my family's annoying. Greece is like the sickest place in the world.

And culturally, like, just walking around, you're right by the fucking Parthenon, just seeing all these shit is fucking awesome. That is so cool. Yeah, I know whenever I think about going to Germany, I'm like the only place I could think of going is like Berlin, but I'm like, I don't know if I think about going to Germany, I'm like the only place I could think of going is like Berlin, but I'm like, I don't know if I like ketamine enough

to code a verb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All my friends are like, you fucking have to go. I'm like, you're doing ketamine in 24 hours a day. Of course, of course, not a big drug guy. So I'm sure it's, I like drugs, but ketamine is not doing it for me.

It's not my top girlfriend. It's, yeah, how would we rank them? What would you say? Mm, I'm trying to think what I can say on a podcast. You can say whatever you want on a podcast. I do really like Coke, I think it's the same. Respect. Fat Coke is the best. Absolutely. I'm like, one day it's gonna make me so sick.

Yeah. When I turn 30, I made the decision like, be fat. It's like after 30, it's either be fat or do Coke. It's not both after 30. Not so bad. in my opinion. Just too many fat men comedians met their demise that way where I was like, and I could feel it too when I would do cocaine.

And I would be like, this sums, my heart is working too hard. You know when your laptop, the fan starts going really loud. That's exactly what my heart was doing. I think men for 10, I don't know my life. And it's like, I'm sure I can finish sending this email and exporting this video, but after that, I'm gonna give it a, I'm gonna put it under, I'm gonna open up my fridge and put my laptop in here.

The charger is literally like a steamer. You can make an egg on it. That's what it felt like when I did cocaine. I mean, there's no worse anxiety in my opinion than the day after. It's like the best and worst drug for sure. I really is horrible the next day. Yeah, I mean, it's, and like the times I did,

it was pretty fun, but I also think, I don't think I'm generally predisposed to like having a good ass time on it. I think I'm a downer's guy, unfortunately. I like pills, I like, totally, that thing. I used to like cough syrup back in high school. Or I'm sorry, in college. I love that for you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, shopping screw. What was the purple Promethazine? Oh, yeah, but what did people mix it with Sprite? Oh, yeah, yeah purple drink. Yeah Yeah, you were doing that. Did it a couple times pretty fun. Yeah, Styrofoam cups Jolly Ranchers just wanted to be cool

So but like in a dorm room like just I went to UMBC with sucks, which is like a really embarrassing school to go to. And it was just me and my friend also not cool. Just like drinking cough syrup in his dorm playing like, you know, final fantasy or something. Like I was watching him play like some video game or something. And being like, yeah, dude. And then getting too fucked up to like go out.

Like the plan was we were just gonna do some of this. And then we just got, we did so much cough syrup and just got so high. We didn't go anywhere. His girlfriend came to check on us. And we were like, wow, we're good. You could take off without us. You can tell the bitches they can go home. Yeah.

And I'm so sorry I'm not gonna make it. It's like, you're probably so bummed. Yeah, I got no pussy in college until the end. When I had a girl friend, I was just, yeah, it's some of my biggest regret. And then it was like me, I had this college girlfriend, it was clear it wasn't gonna work out. Like in my,

because she met me when I was, I did a year of like, I started doing comedy when I was like 19. Okay. And then I had this. I'm not early. Yeah, and I had this like, like, you know, immigrant guilt.

And so I quit and was like, I'm gonna be so serious about school for a year. I'm gonna give this a shot. Yeah. If I can do this, I'm good at it. And I like it. I'll just go to college and make my family happy.

And she met, we met in that year where I was like so good at school, like we were in the same scholarship program. Wow. And then we started dating and then instantly, it was like literally just the way it timed out. It was like, I was like, fuck, this sucks dick. I'm not doing college, I'm not trying anymore.

And I was just do open m open mics get fucked up all the time She like wanted to like you know have like a family like right out of college and shit Yeah, she was she was a great great person. Oh, I'm sure awesome And like her family was like like every every like both her like siblings married They're like high school sweethearts and it worked like this weird when they were you meet these people And it's like always weird when you hear families like that. They it's great They all love each other so like they were so nice dad was so hard working like sacrifice for that like I was like it would literally confused me when I've go to their Thanksgiving suddenly like

Everyone is just like the the biggest family drama was like one honest kind of rude sometimes And they would be like yeah watch out she's coming and it'd be like just she's just kind of a bitch, but also like Like what say oh, I'm sorry. Did you hear her? Yeah, he didn't hear her say thank you did yeah, literally no like literally shit like that It was fucking crazy, but I my my regret is like me and my, and then I was finally cool in college, but I was like, no, I'm gonna like, I'm just gonna keep do it. Like one girl fucked me, so I'm gonna just keep do it,

you know, keep doing this, but it was a very embarrassing school to me. Once you get fucked for the first time, you gotta get a little bit of pussy pie. There's no going back. There's no going back brother. You gotta. I do remember losing my Virginia and being like, yeah, I should have been doing this eight years ago. There's no going back. There's no going back brother. You got a- I do remember losing my Virginia and being like,

yeah, I should have been doing this eight years ago. I guess if I put up the right exactly. I would have to get fucked in high school. So bad. There ain't no shot. It wasn't even close. That's so fucking funny. Were you in high school though,

were you just wanting to fuck dudes or how do you work? Yeah, I mean, I was really like, when I say closeted, you don't have to get sad about it. Right, right, right. So closet, you didn't know you were gay. I thought it was ironic to be on the softball team. Yeah. You're like, isn't it funny?

What made me one of the straightest girls of all time is playing softball? And I'm like in the catcher of all positions. I'm like down in a squat, like, literally spitting out some flowers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't wait to have a crush on a boy later. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I had no idea.

That's fucking awesome. Yeah, and then in college, basically, I went to a liberal arts school. So it was pretty fast after that. Everyone's gay. A friend of mine told me that a girl had a crush crush on me and I didn't even like her back. I just was like, oh, I'm gonna be gay. Just the idea of a girl wanting to fuck you was like. Yeah, so now it's kind of like was being gay choice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it just the easier route for me to- Was the first person to try to fuck you happen to be a woman so now you're gay? I did actually have sex with four guys. Wow, four. I'm really proud of that. Four is a good number. I know.

You can't go like one or two. It's like, all right, let's give it a whirl. Exactly. Three you're right, right up. But the fourth is really what does it? Number four. They were all in like four months. Like I really was on a roll for a thing.

Yeah, yeah. And then just a total dry spell for me. Yeah. Was this college you fucked these guys? Yeah, I think't call it. Yeah, freshman year. Okay, so let's start with high school. The boys you wanted to potentially have a crush on.

What did those guys look like? So here's the thing, it's like, it's too obvious. They were the hottest guys in my class. So like, bo chatting Chris. Yeah, they were fucking like, they were like the kids who like in eighth grade were on every single sports team. Right.

Because they were just that athletic. And they all had six packs. And it was just like, I had no chance. It's so fun. That's actually so cute. I know. Then you were like, so like, you had like Disney Channel Brain.

Yeah. Where I was like, I was basically having celebrity crush. Yeah, but just on the kids, they were like so like you had like Disney Channel brain. Yeah. Where I was like, I was basically having celebrity crush. Yeah, but just on the kids name like we're the best on the baseball team. That's so fucking funny. And then obviously like date my friends. And I'd be like this is so cool. Yeah.

Just to be in the same room with you guys. Yeah. That is a standard. I think like I think you can tell if a guy is closet if every woman is ever dated, it's just 10 out of 10, like, model hot. Because it's like, if you're straight, someone's gonna get it, something,

you're gonna have somebody fucked up looking in the next week or just like, yes, she just does it for me. But it's like, if that doesn't, if there's not some primal urge to fuck a weird looking person, I don't trust it. Like, you know what, that's what's not some primal urge to fuck a weird looking person, I don't trust it. Like,

that's what I always say. Like, thank God I'm not, I wasn't like, conventionally attractive straight girl because I probably would have never gotten out. Yeah. I would have just dated the hottest guys and I would have gotten addicted to it. Yeah, you would have gotten addicted

to being a minor celebrity in your hometown. Exactly. And it would have been like, you would have been like, gotten divorced. And like And it would have been like, you would have been like gotten divorced. And like, it would have been like, you literally would have gotten divorced and you would have had like, but you would have had a pretty sick, like, when you found out you were gay,

it would have been really awesome. I know, I think you're right. But it would, but that, but the tradeoff is, it's like saving up. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, I have to.

Instead of getting to fuck women a lot for like 10 years, you would have fucked no one and then you would have like a cool, a cool like with like a woman at your gym. Oh God, it would have been hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wish I could have been gay in high school so bad. Yeah. Also because I did go to an all girls high school.

Oh wow. And I'm just like, whoo. Were the gay girls fucking in those? Or was it too repressed? Yeah, but like, this is how I will describe it. Yeah. It was like, the gay girls that I knew, they were also, and there's nothing wrong with this,

but they were like also addicted to anime. Oh, wow. So I was just like, I can't see myself. You know what I mean? I was like, for cultural reasons. Yeah, like, I truly was like, I can't be gay because only gay people I know are addicted to anime or are literally my constantly sweating theology teacher

who ripped me out. So I was like, I'm just fucked and I couldn't be gay. Gay anime girls, see, I am not, we're familiar with a lot of anime people. Yeah, and none of them are lesbians. I don't think, like, what comes to mind immediately is like, just ugly straight kids that would fuck each other.

Maybe like a bi-girl and like that classic, like, would fuck, like fucks a ton, anyone kinda like bi-girl who's- Yeah, bi-girls are always doing that. You know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hypersexuality to the anime kids I knew? Because they were ugly as shit, but they all fucked each other. And there was like, and so I don't know that I knew any like, like purely lesbian ones. At least in high school. I'm basically just thinking of the kids

I went to high school, right? So this is small sample. So I literally, I'm looking at them right now. And like, I would, we talked about this also in the Jermell episode. It was like, it's a lot of like like it's just a lot of the guys I knew were either like the fattest guy of all time or the lengthiest kids in the world and they all have

like you want him to be on the basketball team but he had 0% muscle. Yes, the coach would like talk to him and he just wouldn't even be able to make eye contact with him. He was so scared of sports and they all had fucked fucked up hair, no matter the race. If it's like a white guy with oily fucked up hair, it's like a black guy with a worse like hairline. You've never got his shit lined up, weird fro, that bra, like fucked up brage.

And for whatever reason though, although, and like, there was like, but although girls in it were just like, like chubby, hyper sexualized by girls, then like, fuck each other, then also fucked all the guys. And like, all the anime kids were getting pussy, but they were such losers that it did, it was, no one was impressed by it.

And even me who I wasn't getting in pussy, even I was like, well, at least I'm not an an an. It was like this weird thing where it's like, it's like, you could to like anime and fuck these girls if you want, but then you're an anime kid. I know, and instead I'm, I'm, was the kid where it's like, I'm trying to like make fun of an anime kid and then I'm looking at myself and I'm going,

well, I have no hobbies. Yeah, yeah. My hobby is like right now having three beers. I'm like 17, like, just got drunk for the very first time. I got my only thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Playing softball, having three beers. I was all, I was beginning to sports for like in high school.

What were your sports? I played football, I played soccer first in football. I wrestled for a little bit. I tried to play basketball, but I've been five seven since eighth grade. Totally. I played on the middle school basketball. I tried to play basketball, but I've been five seven since eighth grade. I played on the middle school basketball team, and I was like, wow, my growth spreads coming any day. Like I tried out for my high school.

That's just because of that age. It's supposed to happen. Me and Elders were like similar sized kids in elementary school, and then this motherfucker's six six. He's a full foot taller than me. It's fucking a trod. Sorry. Oh, waste.

Doesn't have any of this natural musculature or talent. You want to talk about the guy, the basketball coach, begged, but he was too much of a pussy to play sports. Yeah, that's best. He's in the room right now. Yeah. And my high school was an art high school. And they had like a horrible basketball team,

but kids would like come up to me from the team every day and like, would beg me to play. I was like, when did you turn six six? I mean, you were probably, I was probably pretty locked in by middle school. I would say, I would say at least freshmen, I've probably only grown a couple inches in middle school. But you were like, you were definitely like six two

by high school for sure. That's crazy. Yeah, so, dude, you have the coolest life ever. Yeah. Thanks, I think so. I'm fired. I'm fired. But yeah, so those were kind of my hobbies.

I was like, I can't be, and I even quit because I was like a theater little kid. Yeah. But then I literally in seventh grade something switched where I was like, theater's actually gay and I'm fucking cool and do sports. So there was like a switch that just flipped in. What were you doing in theater?

One year it was you're a good man, Charlie Brown. I did that too. Come on, I was born to be Charlie Brown at that age. Oh, lead. Yeah, yeah, and then we did some shit in elementary school. We also had a very gay English teacher that like really had a good drama program going in all elementary school. Remember, I won't say his name, but we would literally take field trips to see him do

theater. It was so funny. It would be like in hindsight now that's so weird that like your field trip was seeing your teacher in a play. But was he good? I don't remember. I think I remember. I mean, you're like, I was I was I respected him and I was like, he's awesome at the time, but you know, respect to him though. That's that's actually a pretty awesome move to be

like, all right, I know how we can get at least 30 tickets sold. Yeah, it's all the kids in the audience. You can't even see them because they're like harder than the seat themselves. He's basically laundering like curriculum money and pay for the tickets to get some of my people in those seats. Oh fuck. That rocks.

Yeah, I didn't do theater either because I was like, it's kind of nerdy. Yeah. And my brother did it and I made so much fun of him. That's hysterical. My whole life. And then it's like, I'm the one who ends up And my brother did it and I made so much fun of him. That's hysterical. My whole life and then it's like, I'm the one who ends up in entertainment. So he's gonna hold this card.

Of course. Of course. Cause I was like calling him gay for, and then I can't gay. So it was pretty fucking moved. Fliped, flipped on your face. Yeah, really? It's so funny that your brother's a reality TV producer.

And you're like, you know, and I'm the one in the ridiculous job with a ridiculous job on the way. He's not, you know, he's good for him. Sometimes he does look at his job and he's like, what am I doing here? Who am I helping? But I'm like addicted to reality TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This does keep far lying, but. That's okay. Do your back, just sorry that it's a- That's okay. Elvis, do you have any pointers for? I think we're good now. It's looking just sorry that it's okay. I'll just wait. Do you have any pointers for I got I think we're good now Okay, good looking good. No. We'll assess if it falls again So you go from being you having crushes on little sack effrons

Who's who so who was it in college? I'm guessing you're in a liberal art school So there's they're not like traditionally hot guys or who are these guys? Who are the who are the fantastic four? Okay, thank you for asking. Um, okay, the first guy, well I'm gonna honest with no idea who he was. That's awesome. He was a virginity. That is sick.

Yo, everyone tell that I'm like, oh, is it interesting? Um, I think the second guy was on the soccer team. Oh, nice. That was cool. That is pretty cool. And then after that, the liberal arts school soccer teams, the football team. You were completely right.

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, they were like the hottest. Yeah, yeah. So, and then after that was like my friends, friends who visited, who was really hot. Oh, wow. And then the fourth one was a townie from the local Navy base. Oh no.

Yeah, and he only felt like six or sometimes. And I have no idea what was going on. That's really interesting. I know, and I don't know how it was. Navy townie. I'm like praying he was not over 25. Sure. And you're what, 1918?

Yeah, I was probably 19. Okay. But he was not over 25. Sure, and you're what, 19, 18? Yeah, I was probably 19. Okay. But he could have been 28. But I mean, that's not the worst thing in the world. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. That's the thing, what about this townie made it so that he keeps coming back?

He was just persistent. Literally, he was down. He was just down. I did not care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time I had sex with a guy, it was almost as if nothing was down. He was just down and getting it. I did not care at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time I had sex with a guy, it was almost as if nothing was happening. Like, if I could have been on my phone,

that would have been awesome. That's awesome. And then the first time I literally just held hands with a girl, I'm not kidding, like, come, come everywhere. It was crazy. My body was like, this is sex. Yeah, yeah.

Not, not vaginal penetration. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's hand holding. Looking at each other's eyes. Yeah, truly. That's fucking hilarious. I know, but he was funny. And I like even brought him to a college party one time. And everyone was like, what?

My friends were like, that's such a half-wild move. It's one thing to fuck a guy a bunch of times, she cares, but it's like to bring a Navy townie, especially to a liberal art school. Yeah. That's a fucking awesome move. It was awesome. He had a boot on the whole time.

He had like a broken foot. It was really funny. That is a great like, like, one to go out on, you know? I know, I'm happy that you've been with my mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's special. Thank you for your service. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were a patriot.

I know, I'm basically a navy wife. Yeah. Without a doubt. That is, like, that kind of is like, one of the worst guys, like it's just a perfect thing to be like, yeah, I'm just gay and I knew because I tried, I fucked maybe the straightest type of guy possible.

Without a doubt. Like older loser and army. I don't know what we could possibly talk about. Yeah, that's the best part. It's like, you've got a person a couple times when you're drunk, whatever, but it's like, after a while, you gotta hang out sober, at least a little bit.

And it's like, that seems like worse than the actual, like, you know, DMV, standing in line in the DMV style sex that you're describing. It's like, the conversation sounds worse than like. Also, I'm positive. I was so bad at that sex. Yeah, right. Like, I'm positive. I was so bad at that. Yeah, right. Like, I can't even remember.

I probably was like on top and like, just like moving my shoulders. There's no way I was doing anything to you. And to be fair, he did just like, I think he just kind of ghosted me and I was like, all right, fine. Cool. So I'll give him that credit. I don't think he was like addicted to me. Yeah.

You know, I wasn't doing much. Yeah, I wonder if he thinks about it's still like, what was I going to do? Yeah, I probably can stop. Let's find him. Let's find him. You should do that. You should do a reunion.

I mean, I tried to do him like a year ago, but I can never figure, his name was Eric, and I never knew how to spell it. Mm. Sure. Because there's kind of a lot of wasted CKK. Yeah, so I guess CH, but that's kind of strange. I know, but I'm like I kind of think it was You've like the guy named a RYCH A time traveler a Nordic time traveler. Yeah, so that was fun.

But then, you know, coming out was like the coolest thing. Ever I have to say also like, always being fat to coming out was the best thing I ever had. Yeah. Yeah. Girls like didn't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was always so aware.

Like, oh yeah, these dudes want to fuck a skinny girl. And then I came out and I was like, oh, I am like in the starting line up. Yeah, that's awesome. Good for you. Yeah, I mean, I've definitely, I mean, look, who are you telling girls don't care? It's my whole life. It was pretty fucking awesome.

Yeah, exactly. But yeah, that actually is a big upgrade to be like, to go from like how judgmental men are sexually to like women who are just, if you're cool. And I got to assume that goes even double for lesbians. Like lesbians must be even cooler with the fat person than straight, because playing straight women will definitely be in the like,

traditional, but you can find a healthy percentage that aren't. But there are some lesbians that are suck. Yeah, of course. Of course, there have to be other lesbians to healthy percentage that aren't. Yeah, and there are some lesbians that suck. Yeah, of course. Of course, they're have to, and they're have to be, that's equality. Yeah, and boy do they suck. Yeah, even worse. Even worse.

You don't worry. Yeah, but it was like, I really feel like I went from like a straight three to like a gay six. Nice, come on. I felt that way even in Chicago. Come on. But now that I'm in New York, I'm like back to a five, but when I go felt that way I'm in Chicago Now that I'm in New York I'm like back to a five right New York's Chicago forget about it. Yeah, you and Lori life for getting all the pussy in the world

This is wearing big suits together. She looks so sick. So yeah, you're coming right off pride. Now what's pride like as a legend because look, we all know gay men, they're sucking and fucking at the Chase Bank glory hole. You know what I mean? Like it's awesome. But I wonder what you guys just have in a nice party is it like a a buffet? Yeah, I have like a big sale. A free game? So what he has to do in making muffins for a little bit? I don't really get what we raise a lot of money for the Girl Scouts.

No, I don't. I don't really get what it was just like the loveliest wellness thing ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've even just, I signed up for this new gym in my area and it's mostly gay men. And I, I'm like watching their eyes go left and right. It's crazy how different art cultures are.

Sure, of course. When they're rooted in the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because it's like, it's like, there's so, there are two kind of extremes in a weird way that kind of average out to what all straight people are like. Right?

But it's just like, you kind of have to, it's like as chill as lesbians are and it's like, just over the top, having a good time. It's like gay dudes are, it's like, you know, like I don't imagine too many lesbians are like, you know, doing cocaine and listening to Charlie XCX at 7am. So that's what I'm doing.

I'm doing this too, oh that's awesome. So that's why I'm kinda like- I'm trying to bridge the community. Yeah, I'm pushing it. So that's why I'm doing. I'm doing it too. Oh, that's also. So that's why I'm trying to like- You can try to bridge the community. Yeah. So that's why I'm like, I am almost, sometimes I veer into gay guy territory. I think only with my like taste in music. Oh, okay.

Because I'm listening to Charlie Stance, Kempetra Slater. Gotcha. So, but besides that, yeah, I definitely do feel, sometimes I'm even confused by gay men. Right, right, right. Yeah, and they, honestly, Lesbians are so much chiller.

Yeah. Like, I went to a gauge, I was in LA, and I went to a gauge gym, and I've never felt worse about myself. No! And they were so fucking rude in me. And they're just, and they're so much stronger.

So it's like, it's like, they're like, caddy, and they're superior to me physically. And not just in like a Optics way, but in like the way a straight guy wants to be strong. Yeah, these guys are so much stronger than me Like totally I remember just like these gay guys were just like and they were like not not that jacked But they were strong and they were on a machine I wanted to use and they were just on it for like 40 minutes and And I kept kind of like, and they were so dismissive and didn't give a fuck. It was like, I kind of respected it, but it really was like, they were so mean.

And they were just like, I was like, damn, I am, this is not my, but then again, another couple nice amount of them kind of gave me some looks where it's like, oh, they probably would blow me in the sauna, which kind of, did it wasn't what's an ego boost, you know? Absolutely they needed to give you that Yeah, you would like never smile again. Yeah, totally. I needed them to balance out their mean friends But you know they weren't the hottest ones and then I and even they got it It even called me they even got me in that mindset You know what I mean? We're like, now it's like, all right, I could give a blow job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the hot guy off, but I'm not sucking off the ugly guy. Yeah, it's the first. All right, well look, what do you say we do some, we take some questions here from the audience grace. I feel like we've gotten to know you well enough, you know, we see, we see your background. You got a girl boss mom, kind of bisexual dad even though we stray. You know, your brother's working in reality TV.

You've really lived a life. You fucked that weird townie. I mean, you're bringing some great experiences to these people. I'm so glad that's all my resume. Those are the four. This girl fucked a townie. She's gonna give amazing advice.

And you see, you've bounced back from it. You know, because people, we've all fucked some atrocious people in our time. I know eldest has. I know that I, we were roommates. You've only fucked gorgeous people. Oh no, no, I've got some tough ones on the resume. I absolutely, no, no, no, absolutely.

I've got some tough ones but we've all of the three of us i think we have that in common we've really bounced back that's some horrendous hookup so i knew we were brothers yeah we were absolutely so why don't we why don't we place some uh some voice I'm working with the bar in the street. And I met this lovely Australian bride. And the thing I didn't know is she comes from a family of money, bro. Nice. So listen. I'm not in love with this kid. She wants me to move to Australia. All this and that. She has a kid. She has a kid. But she'll be like buying me these expensive gifts and she still lives on Australia. So I got the question I'm asking is, bro, shall I just pack up and

move to Australia, bro? Start my new life, dude. I'm 21, you know? I just moved out here to New York and getting a beat under me and I met this woman, bro. And you know, she's attractive. She was attractive. Maybe you have to cover relationships. It was pretty bad, pretty toxic, but I don't know, bro. Let me know what you think, bro. What I should do if I should try to convince her to move out here, or if I should think about moving to Australia. Sharj is keep pushing, bro.

Find another woman, bro. I don't know. I don't know. Thank you guys. This is awesome. That is so good. This poor kid thinks he's. I don't know. Thank you guys. This is awesome. That is so good. This poor kid thinks he's going to move to a strip. Oh man. Don't, what are you out of your fucking mind?

First of all, you figured something out about yourself, though, right? You just got out of this pretty toxic relationship. You apparently, now you sound dumb as shit, right? You're not a smart guy. No chance. But it sounds like you're a piece of ass. Sounds like you're hot. If you're in New York, you're getting that sense too. New York bartender, who some hot,

rich Australian lady wants you to be her kept man, you have a self-esteem problem, my friend. You're holding, you have the keys to a great life. A hot guy, one of the, there's, hot guy that lives off women, I would say the top of the pyramid in terms of pieces of shit. You are a piece of shit, don't get me wrong.

You live a piece of shit life. You're a leech on someone else. But this is the best leech to be. I know guys who just fuck, like fuck. It's like, it's getting to be a gold digger without the misogynistic stigma, right? So I say enjoy, you have that ability, you're young, you're clearly hot, if she's willing to do this.

And I would say, first of all, well, you're gonna move the fucking off Shirley and be a stepdad, are you out of your, how old is your kid? That's the part where I'm like, absolutely not. That's the toughest one. You're like, you convince your move to New York, what, with her fucking kid?

You want this woman to move her child to a different country so that she can buy you a couple fucking watches. He always said in the voice, me like, no lie, I could be an amazing dad. Yeah. Yeah. So, no, you do not move to Australia.

Now, she wants to fly you out for a little vacation. She wants to keep cash-apping you. She wants to keep doing you all that stuff. That's all good and well, but you have to understand you are basically like you're a sugar baby. You know, and that's fine. Sex work is work. But you got a, you got a, you are a sex worker here

and you have the ability to be kind of a part-time jiggle Oh, it sounds like yeah, it does if you just backed your way into this Imagine if you start trying and you start believing in yourself. Yeah, and by the way I'm not saying take advantage of anyone Everyone knows what the fuck the score is on on arrangements like this No one thinks this lady doesn't think a 21-year-old is her fucking soulmate. I mean unless she's dumb as shit Which you very likely could be. But I would say don't move to Australia.

Now, if this was like Philly, this was even LA or something. Continental United States, I'd say. I mean, it doesn't sound like you got too much going on. You moved to New York. What did you move to New York for? That's one question. Do you have dreams?

What are you doing? And I don't think it's wrong to kind of fuck your way to a couple to some financial security here. You have the ability to, why not give it a whirl but do not move the fucking Australia, that's insane. I know the crazy part though is that you just said Philly and I'm like, I would say move to Australia over Philly. Just because of rich in Australia could be unbelievable.

Yeah, but I'm imagining I watched Troy Sivan's architectural digest. Okay. And he has a sick house, dude. I would live there. Yeah, but here's the thing. This, you just got to get sex traffic. Yeah, you like that. He doesn't know anyone. This lady, this might be her thing. She might have a little fuck a bunch of 21 year old hunks in her fucking basement somewhere. No papers, no textured fucking passport, no way to get home.

I'm saying it's too risky to go to Australia. Yeah, also, this is how I've always felt, is because I feel like I've heard this question before of like, do I just go with a rich person? There are so many rich people in there. They really are. And most of them are actually hot. So I don't think you should be like,

she's attractive and she's rich. There's a lot of those people. Yeah, they're really are. So I just like keep working. Keep working, you just got to the city. Yeah. You're gonna fucking give up now, dude. And also milk this lady for all she's worth.

Get a couple of gifts out of it. Tell her it's hard to make rent. Tell her, send her a jacket you really want. Be like, I really want it. And see what happens. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid to use. And let her know you just got out of this toxic relationship. Right.

You know, she can only really feel for you. Yeah, that's true. Use that to your advantage. I'm just worried about this kid, because he really could be manip- like This lady sounds kind of nice. Yeah, you know what I mean? But if if the wrong rich lady comes up against him, he's fucking cooked. I know you're like you're too way too easily Sweet to minute yeah, what she's buying him. I know it's like fuck under what and he took him to Chili's This guy came from fucking Dayton

Oh my god Took him to Chili's. This guy came from fucking Dayton. He's like, oh my God. I didn't show you a check for the first time. This is $4 more than McDonald's. Yeah, dude, this is a good sign for you. It sounds like you need to believe in yourself a little more. I would work on self-esteem first and foremost. You might be fucked up about this toxic relationship. You sound like the kind of guy who's like a sweet dumb idiot

who women can take advantage of. And you're kind of, I would say, just take a little, don't take advantage of anyone, but believe in yourself, be a little assertive and charge for that sweet dick you got in those jeans. He sounds so cute. He does sound like a cute guy. I feel like he has the best face.

Yeah, he must be hot for this to be going in. He looks like cute. He does sound like a cute guy. I feel like he has the best face. Yeah, he must be hot for this to be going in. He looks like he probably is like a gap model face. You know, like a baby face but has a six pack? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Just a baby face with just like. Careful, that is a lot of power. Yeah, that's a lot of power.

You don't know how to wield, you don't know how to wield those dimples and those six inches soft. That you got, that You got those donkeys. But good luck with you, bud. Good luck, then just believe in yourself a little more. Don't sell that dick to the first Australian that comes a knockin'.

That's what I say. Here's to the other one, Aldous. Hey, Starby. My name is Franco. I've called them before about, you know, not being able to get pussy. But I want to call, because I'm in therapy and I don't think my therapist wants to be a therapist anymore. Like, to mention, like, off-handedly, like, oh, I used to think I wanted to be a therapist,

but I don't want to anymore. Like, when we're talking about my shit, and like, he just really checked out, he doesn't want to, like, like, engage that much. This is crazy. He gives me, like, very basic, like, skin level advice like he was looking crazy so what should I do just like try drop him like I feel bad because he's like a cool dude but I don't think you like it you feel bad for your therapist oh man this you are not getting what you need out of therapy, brother. He's like, you can't be paying for that.

You cannot be paying for that. No, no, no, no. And this is actually an important call because we're big therapy guys here on Stavis World. And for a lot of things, I think people need to go to therapy. But you gotta remember therapy is like anything else where it's like some therapist are fucking bad at their job.

And it's a lot of finding the right one. Like, it took me a while to find a therapist that embalmed them more specifically. It took me a while to find somebody that I really liked. And then in New York, I found the therapist like, I had to just kind of work on us. I had no money when I first moved here and I was the most depressed I've ever been. So I had to use, I had to work with whoever works on a sliding scale. And maybe that person wasn't exactly the perfect therapist, but they were still really good at their job. They weren't checked out. And over time, you just kind of get a rapport

with them and they just kind of know you want to just make sense. So it's just like anything else, man, you got to search for one that really works and a therapist is like, oh man, you're telling him about your fucking parents and he's like, yeah, man, I feel like this job to me. He's like, oh my God. He's like, you think you want something and then you just, you don't get it.

It's like totally different. That is so fucked up of your therapist by the way. And he's like, I love how he's like, I think. Meanwhile, he's like, yeah, I think my therapist has kind of checked out because he said during sessions, I'm really checked out. I don't want to anymore. I used to think I wanted to be a therapist,

but I don't want to anymore. Oh really, did you're a really good at picking up subtle ass hints? I'm just literally saying that. The therapist is is asking you, how does it feel to be in your shoes? Because I kind of feel like I could use a therapist. Stop!

He's like, why don't we try, this is a very useful exercise where I tell you my problems and you give me your opinion. Exactly. I think I was like, okay. Also, finding a therapist always feels so daunting. Yeah. And I've only had two therapists in my life.

But like the moment you actually just commit, it's always hard when you're like, all you're doing is Googling. Yeah, yeah. It's like you just have to actually fucking email. And you have to email, you have to go in. And that's basically it. And look, you might have to go in and be like,

fuck, this wasn't, do a couple to go in and be like, fuck, this was a couple of sessions. And it's like, yeah, that might be a waste of time. But when you find somebody that really works for you, I think it's really worth it. Yeah, go buy vibes on all these, like, zock.com, which is like, think where I found my latest therapist.

It's like, they have photos and it literally feels like a dating app. It's so weird. But you just gotta go with vibes. Like pick a nice nerdy-looking person. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Absolutely. I've had a therapist that was probably too nice to me.

She just, she was like, she felt like more like a big sister's, like a big sister's friend or something like that. Well, I would just talk to her about girl problems and she would literally just tell me what to do. But I was only, it was right before I moved to New York and it was kind of like a temporary thing anyway. Shout out to her. She was on a show with Big Titties, actually.

Really? Yeah, I did want to fuck that therapist, which was, I recognized the time of problem. Yeah, I know what happens when you're in that, you gotta get out, right? Yeah, well, I knew I was leaving anyway, but you know, shout out to her. Thank God you got out. You would not be here I knew I was leaving anyway, but shut out to her. Then God you got out, you would not be here today.

No, no, I'd be married to her. I think she was engaged, but I would have figured it out. It is hard though, because it's also tough like the kind of person is your therapist. Like I think it's good that I, because I would have probably wanted to, I'd had all women therapists until I moved to New York and this is like an older dude. I think I probably would have all women therapists until I moved to New York and this is like an older dude.

I think I probably would have wanted women therapists, but like, I think it actually ended up being good that he was a guy, because like, there's just something. You feel just trying to fuck my therapist, I think. Or I'm trying to impress her. I would just like, especially she was hot, like I just can't help that, whenever you're in like a weird, intimate,

but not appropriate relationship. Totally. It's like party was just like, could I get this person to want to fuck you? You're going, wait a second, we just got so deep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The person's literally being paid. You're like, you can't bleach us,

gave me that look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like so much more, it's like thinking of waitress at Hooters, wants to that look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like so much more, it's like thinking a waitress at Hooters wants to fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah. The person who's like trying to upcharge you so clearly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, what do you like on the menu? They're like, the steak, you're like, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like, oh, that's funny. I like steak too. Yeah. Well, she put a heart on the receipt.

Should I go in and try and ask for her number? Should I try and plug this 20 year old with huge tips at this hooters in Indiana? She's giving me serious lives While she's rubbing some fat business guys are Giving him a little shoulder rub. Yeah, she's fucking the line 100% I gave him a little shoulder rub. Yeah, she's fucking the line. 100%. 100%. So, yeah, dude, you got to get out. You just got to look for a different therapist.

I'm sorry. Franco, I'm sorry, man. You're not getting a nice. You need a breath. You needed a W, and this was not it. Yeah. Sounds like you're still not getting pussy, which is a problem.

I hope we've answered that question at some point. But just to give you some generic advice, believe in yourself, and honestly, it's kind of a similar thing with finding a therapist and finding someone to date. You might go on a lot of duds. There might be a couple duds. I mean, therapy should be quicker than, you know, finding a girlfriend, but you still might take a while.

Yeah, and therapy, the way I feel about it too, sometimes I mostly do just need someone to listen You know so like my the vibe that my therapist have had are The girl in your class who you get paired to do a group project with she's so much smarter than you She decides I'll just do the whole thing Are you sure I want to help but what help? No, it's okay So nice. Yeah, that's sure I want to help but what happened? No, it's okay That's really good. Yeah, that's very funny. Yeah

Oh, this what do you got you back in therapy man? I'm on hi this right now because my therapist like All right, I worked with her the first half of this year. She just finished like grad school officially So we had to take a break until she's like fully licensed. And she's going to another place. I'm waiting for an email or something to figure out with you. Damn, you guys get ghosted by your therapist. But I'm also about to be at a town

for like the first half of July, which is like the month we said. Oh right. We'll pick it up. We'll see. We'll see. Fuck it dude August. I actually, this reminds me, I should hit my therapist up.

I actually kind of ghosted him because I was, I was gone for like two months. It happens when you're traveling. What are you gonna do? My mental health's been really good. So you might not need it anymore. I think I'm actually fine. Sometimes you can yeah you can just like graduate. Yeah you've had a lot of time to sit down and reflect lately. Yeah yeah yeah I haven't picked up some concerning habits that's for sure that I'll talk to you guys about off-air. have it, so that's for sure, that I'll talk to you guys about off-air. Yeah, there's only vodka. Yeah, there's only vodka.

I am smoking weed every day again. Which is what? Which may not be cured, I think. Yeah, I think so. Alright, here's with another one, Big Eldie. Domeness. How many do you get? We get a lot. We got to do like a marathon one of these days and just clear some of these out.

Ooh, that's cool. Hey Bestie, and besties guest of the day. What's up? I am meeting some advice. I come to my sex life. For context, I'm a 20-something-year-old woman living in the Midwest. I've been with you know 20 plus different dudes. I've had a few of it. So I'll show the body count up there. Respect. And there's only been one guy that I've been with that has actually gotten me

to a nut. Like just a regular ass orgasm. There's only been one guy that's been able to do that without a vibrator, you know, any of the special stuff. Literally, the vibrator is all you would do. question is I kind of struggle with telling them kind of how I like it, especially because now I'm like single and just seeing people casually. So I kind of struggle with like telling a man's not my boyfriend like, hey this is how I like it. Oh, your day time is weak. Like I just feel so. Well you should say one. Yeah, yeah. You should say that. You know, my sex life is obviously getting fucked up because of that.

So I guess my question is just like coming from a man, like, how would you want a woman to approach you about like, hey, I'm not really enjoying this or head. Can you do this differently? I don't want to be a sense of but I also you know some of these do like simply do not know the few know and have been so anyways love you have a great day wow tough 20 to go one for 20 I know it's brutal statistically brutal yeah you went four for four right? Yeah, four. Oh my god. In the four times I had sex with men, I came 20 times. No, but so sad is that is what I hear for my straight face though.

It's like one in 10, one in one. It's so, like, I hate this for them, but it is a fun, like, the bar is so hysterically level for me. I know it's crazy. Because it's like, it isn't like, I feel bad because it's like, you know, well first of all, let's just address your question. I think, I don't, I actually think telling somebody

exactly what you like, most people would be pleased to hear that. Definitely. Because I think, okay, now look, I can't, I'm gonna have to put myself in the mind of a Subpar lover it's gonna be very to be very difficult for me to do it. How are you gonna do that? It's gonna be really hard my My fucking head hurts just imagine someone else I'm trying to imagine being bad at eating pussy and I can't do it. That's where my acting stops

I'm not meant for Hollywood Yeah, it's like it's like how Austin, that guy who played Elvis, like he talked to a different voice for like a year. If I tried to imagine someone being bad at eating pussy, I would just like, I would have, be like a mental hospital for a year, trying to get over it. Or how like he, everyone thinks he's ledger killed himself,

because he was the, that's what's gonna happen to me. After I imagine being bad at eating pussy, I'm gonna kill myself in a bathtub. The twisted diaries of sawdust, I see it's preparing for the role of a bad pussy. You know, I could already see those Wikipedia page that I'm talking about your dad. Yeah.

And it's like thousands of pages long about how? The harrowing experience of imagining not making women bust. Yeah, I would say, like personally, I don't, I, like I would like for somebody to tell me, I think most guys would actually be relieved because here's the thing, a lot of these guys are just selfish, clearly. Yeah.

And they don't, they're not gonna like try and figure it out, but if you tell them, it takes a real piece of shit to completely ignore you. Yeah. So I think you could probably get those numbers up a nice amount. But by just being kind of like fourth-righted and being like, hey, just do this.

And also here's the other thing. Try, you got to get your nut off first. Yeah. Because they're still kind of feel like, you know, they're still trying to bust, you know what I mean, they still, they haven't secured a bust yet. So I would say try and get you go first with some instructions and you know, don't be afraid to like if someone's doing a bad job, be like, all right, you know what? You just gotta jerk, you know what I mean? You don't have to go the whole way. I mean, you're already there, I guess you might as well fucking get it over with on some level,

but there's also could be a, who are these guys kind of question, right? Are you just finding dumb dickheads? Could you get a higher quality of person? I don't know, that's kind of tough. It's hard, I think that like, as a girl who has seen quite a few vaginas, I'm like, they are all varied. Yeah, yeah, for sure. So I'm never as also a scientist.

Absolutely. I'm never shocked to have these statistics. Let's put our lab coach in. By these statistics, I'm going like, that checks out. Yeah. Also, because like, when I think about straight sex, which I do all the time, I'm always thinking about it, thinking how can I make it better? Yeah.

But I'm like, yeah. That's really trying to be straight. I mean, I'm like, just imagining straight again. If I were a dude, I would just keep pumping. You know what I mean? I'm like, I don't know. Well, that's part of the problem is that that is exactly right. That's the baseline, like haven't learned any new skills.

It's like, yeah, you put your dick in and you just pump a Wayne your bust. Because that will make them bust. They figured that out. Yeah. I will say in my personal experience, when someone has given me direction, I love it because it just makes the job easier. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, everyone's busting. Everyone's having a good time. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, any of the guys are not into direction, it's like, that's a big red, it's one thing to be bad at fucking, it's the other thing to refuse coaching. To be like, no, I'm not gonna do what I do.

Some of us are confident at being bad at this. I'll just wonder about you, how do you handle being you know being ordered around or? Told I don't know I mean for her perspective I kind of see like you know I can see how it would be weird with like a more casual hook up or something because you don't know You got to think about like what you even want out of the hook up like for sure, you know Well debust and a minimum I would say what you even want out of the hookup. Like, for sure. You know, and the bust at a minimum, I would say,

what, you know what I mean? Yeah, but I don't know. You gotta think like how to get there and how to like give those directions as easy as possible. In a way like you'd give a bank teller a direction or request or something. Yeah, sure. So, I don't know, I mean, yeah.

Thank you. I think a good place to start really is just like asking to keep getting fingered until you come. Then just do the normal penis that. That's a matter of thing. What is she doing? That's so funny. Oh my guess that question is have you asked to be fingered?

Sometimes Dick is as good as two fingers. Sexula coming through. The master of the female anatomy. It sounds like it's probably not gonna happen with a dick, so think about how you, look, sounds like it's supposed to get her pussy and that's really when it comes down here. Well, yeah, it's gotta ask for that.

Someone says like, no one's hooking up. It's like, okay, well. Also, because it sounds like, I feel like I know most of my single girlfriends are just like, if they're doing casual hookups, they're not looking to orgasm, but it does sound like this girl's like, I wanna be 20 or 20.

Respect, yeah, good for her. Which is like, I'm like 100% because dude, they're doing it. I don't get it. So, okay, that's the other thing I don't understand is like, just being like, oh yeah, casual hookup and not busting. I don't understand the psychology of that from a woman's perspective. I guess it just feels good to fuck

or you're doing it for the experience or maybe it's kind of a sim, because guys definitely have that trophy thing where you just want to bag a hot girl and tell your friends, let show your friends her Instagram, be like, dude, huh? I wonder if girls have a little bit of that.

What's better than the nutting, showing your friends her and that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like so gay. I mean, it really is. No, no, it's gay as hell. But it's like the gayest thing of all time. But it's like, I want, but is that part of it?

Like I don't, that's the thing. It's like, I'm trying to get an, okay, I guess I'm trying to get a nut off and I'm also trying to just feel like somebody likes me on some level. It's not even the nut so much as like somebody wanting to have, the knowledge of somebody wanting to have sex with me is almost like better than actually fucking them. It's like, oh, this is sick.

Somebody thinks somebody wants to fuck me. Maybe that's what the, maybe what, because you're saying you're straight girlfriends. They're not trying to bust on hookup. Well, because they just know it's like hard. It's more like statistically, it's not hard. Oh, I see, they're just realists. So they're like, I would ever, I'll just make out. And like, you know, being like, I can make a dude,

that's fun too. Yeah, true, I guess that's true. But also, I know so many straight girls who use a vibrator with their boyfriends every single time they have sex. So I'm like, don't be afraid to just like sure keep it in your pocket Get the trout have it in like a fanny pack. You're carrying a purse Yeah, have like a have like a satchel with a bunch of gigantic

Crossbody a little the little dildos like the rabbit or whatever Rose one, yeah, just have a couple of those. So yeah, I'm sorry, it sounds like this is gonna be an issue, most people, I have also, I don't wanna do my own horn here, but it is like the fun,

it is a great thing to get. Like that help my ego when someone's been like, the last X amount of guys haven't made me bust or something. Like that, it feels cool. So that's what I'm saying guys, start eating, like, stop as well as guys have made me bust. Something like that. It feels cool. So that's what I'm saying guys, start eating. Like, stop as well as a big pussy eating podcast. Let's put that there. And fellas, don't get your feelings hurt

if somebody gives you instructions. Definitely. Listeners, this podcast should be trying to make women bust. That's, we're just gonna put it that way. So we've done a lot of talking to our friend here who called in, but let's talk to the, you know, much more, much larger percentage of men

listening to the show and say, it's your job to make women bust and try your darn, try your darnedest to make it happen. Yeah, it also like is a compliment if a girl is telling you how they want it because it's like they actually want to keep having sex with you for more minutes. Oh true. As opposed to just being like, this can end right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I bet a lot of these guys, she's been like, is not even worth it. For sure. Yeah. And a lot of them are like, I don't care. Let's do the other thing. It's like a lot of these motherfuckers are kind of dickheads. We're just like, I'm trying to get a nut off and who cares.

Definitely. So, you know, I feel like on the casual hookup, like so many girls are different. I feel like so many girls like just don't come from like normal sex or whatever. True. And even if you're fingering or you know, you can push here the bread and butter, like you just don't know like how long it'll take

for sure. Sure, sure. And it's unpredictable. It is just sterical how sometimes a woman will bust so fast. And then somebody else is like, you could watch a nine. For hours. 90 minutes and you have like, you could watch a nine.

For hours. 90 minutes and you have to, you cannot get off the metronome of finger popping and pussy-looking for one second or it's over. It's crazy. Yeah. It's gotta be,

it's gotta be a curse to have that. Oh man. I have someone who can literally have an orgasm 30 seconds. I'm like, gosh, I really, I feel for all the ladies out there. Oh yeah, there's some tough busts out there There's some tough ones some of us are on a mission. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I've had a sore shoulder socket for a while Trying to get a couple girls

Sorry, I think that was a girl. I need to be fingered for 45 minutes last night And I also I'm too fat if I'm doing like this it really kind of you know I need to get a little I need to work on my shoulders thanks for the finger and the shoulder is tough I have and I have a shoulder injury from football I play through the pain though I push your pain so good luck cow we hope you bust more yeah please and yeah bring the vibrator out who cares? Yeah, what up guys I try to call earlier and I think I disconnected so I'm doing it again real quick Stopby baby, can I say real quick is someone who's screen-z's if you call back you don't need to say it in the beginning Over fresh on the new call because that's the one we're gonna play

Sometimes I've had good questions at like the person was a dumbass So the first one they asked it in 40 seconds and then they followed up with a lot of info. It's like this is good But I'm not playing too with these Yeah, you're that folks elders is the gatekeeper you have to you have to please him Yeah, I'm not looking at any of these fucking voice-mails until this exact moment So your first audience is eldest remember that folks L.D. Love love and pod over the guest star hello to you guys as well Here's what I need advice on in November 2020, you know, lockdown all that stuff's happening Me and my my roommate we we were like heard there's a party going on

We're like, let's go to one fucking party nice. We go to this party a couple weeks later My roommate's is tasting smell not feeling good I'm proud of the code a week later. He gets his taste and smell back right when that happens I lose my taste and smell no other symptoms test positive for COVID. A week later, he gets his taste and smell back. Right, when that happens, I lose my taste and smell. No other symptoms, test positive. Gross, it is almost June of 2023. No. You don't have that shit back yet. It is fucking wild.

You know, I come from a fine dining restaurant background. Oh. You know, love good food. My mom and my grandparents are immigrants from Croatia. My dad is just the white guy. But I grew up on the same shit from the Balkans that you know you guys grew up on eat all that stuff. Great cooks. You know now my relationship with food, you know, taking my girl out to eat like i don't need to spend money

to eat good food i mean she does like we still go you know but as far as just a general relationship with with the should i run on and anything good anything tasty good good good weed you know fine figure it we've had a few drinks like i get nothing out of that oh my god i mean it's not not all bad i suppose like i didn't really eat ass before i know i have to

i'll leave that all the time there's no no consequence man maybe a little okay all right we get in power afterwards but that's it you know so my question to you guys is what do you think? How do I? Get over this What do I mean? What kind of relationship and I have? Post-a-sorties. I'm this gosh. I'm this oh my god

Buddy, what the fuck? What are we doctors? Yeah, the fuck do you want me to say? I don't fucking know, you have long COVID. Yeah, I think I put my scalpel in your, like, what? This, that was really sad at first. No, sure, sure. And then he got into eating ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, you might have a new professor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

There's not, I mean, definitely use it to your advantage. Do more, what's more like stinky shit he could be up to, you know. I mean, you could get so like healthy with this lifestyle. Yeah, it's true. If food does taste good anyway. Right? This sucks now. No, this is horrible. Yeah.

This is, I mean, that's, it's almost like a torture method. No, I would, this, this would drive me insane. Yeah. Insane. Did you guys lose taste or smell from COVID at any point? I actually didn't. I lost my taste for like 36 hours. And it really was freaky, like drinking coffee with like no taste.

Wow. I even just like fucking full ketchup in my mouth. And nothing. Nothing. Damn. It was really crazy. Damn, I had it crazy. Damn, yeah. I had it for like a week too.

And it was like, it was like gone for a pretty good amount of time. It is a lot weirder than you can even imagine. Totally. You just straight up don't smell or taste anything. But I did have Chinese food without any taste. And I still like that a good amount. You're still eating like shit? No, I'm a tail end when I could just sell

us getting better. But my taste wasn't fully back. But I got general sews and it still just made me like it's right. It still made me feel gross though. You know what I gotta say? I could imagine general sews still being good. Just textualized.

Textures are big, yeah. Crunchy gooey. Yeah, that really, you have to figure out, I think in this, you have to just like find new foods that are so texture focused, that they'd be still fun. Like I think that you would maybe need to have chips being everyday, yeah? Ships, sure, yeah.

Just like your crunch to like help, I don't know. I would go the opposite way and just be like, fuck it, I mean, he doesn't sound fat though. I would think this is an opportunity to lose a little weight to like eat healthier, go to who cares. Texture is important and eventually that would, I think that would drive you crazy, but like they make vegan shit

that like kinda has the right texture. You could probably figure the texture out with like, you know, meats and shit. Yeah. But yeah dude, I don't, I mean look, we feel for you, but we're fucking we don't know shit about this We're really dumb. Go to your doctor. It's tough It's been a year and a half and you haven't gone to the doctor yet. You just don't taste shit

Also, wait, okay, it's been a year and a half. God. It's really scary I'm like praying this doesn't happen like last forever wait more than a year and a half right? That's crazy Yeah, it's from 2020. it's at least two years, two years. That's insane. And also, could us you for even admitting that you went out in 2020? You could have just said, like, I got COVID a year ago.

I'm trying to remember November, 2020, I feel like that summer, at least in New York, people were out, were you here? Were you here? I wasn't. Oh, yeah, I moved to New York, July of 2020. So people were out, yeah. That summer was you here? Oh yeah, I moved to New York, July of 2020. So people were out. That summer was fucking all.

I've talked about it before. That was the best time of dating for me ever because it was like, you couldn't go anywhere. And if anybody was leaving their house, they were going to fuck. So it was like, I would just invite girls over. I'd grill a nice dinner. We'd watch a movie, we'd fuck. It was kind of perfect. I guess if we're breathing the same air, we'd have, I'd grill a nice dinner, we'd watch a movie, we'd fuck.

It was kind of perfect. I guess if we're breathing the same error, we should just fuck. Everyone was just like, well, I came out. I'm not, you know what I mean? No one was not gonna fuck. Like one girl didn't fuck the first time. And then she came back like literally two days later

and we were like, but everybody else was like, yeah, I mean, I left my house. And look, I set up a nice, we had that grill on the balcony, a little wine. It was, I can cook too. So it was like a nice, you know, it was a good set up. I wasn't blowing it, but I love that was truly my favorite. I know there were some fun. I feel like summer of 2021, like the day I got vaccinated, I was like, I was having,

I was smiling ear to ear, drunk as fuck for three weeks. Yeah, it was so fun. Yeah, no, that was a great time to be single. It was like that both, both COVID summers in New York were great, it was a great time. Well, I'm sorry, dude. Go to the doctor, I don't know the fuck you want me to say. Yeah, true.

The fuck. You might need to start like taking drugs or something. Yeah, some, some. That would be brutal if that's just never, it's gotta come back at some point. Right, I think so. I've had friends who were smelling, like actually Jordan Jensen eldest,

she had like, she was smelling like rotten meat. Not only did she, not only did she, yeah. And she would have to, there was like only like three smells that cut through it. It was like lavender and like beeswax, weirdly or something like that. It was so strange. She was just holding like lavender up to her fucking nose for like three months. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she smelled like fucked up like rotten meat, sucks. So it could be worse, I guess, but you know, go to the doctor and hopefully they'll fix you. Yeah. Hey, Stavvy. doctor and hopefully they'll fix you. Yeah. Hey, Stavvy. So I graduated from college 10 years ago. I was accepted into grad school to become a therapist.

I decided to turn that down to pursue acting and writing. Slash forward to today. And I've had very minimal success if I'm being honest. Thank you for joining on this short film. Some Peter shows. I tried short films, some theatre shows. I tried breaking into the New York City comedy scene and that was a disaster. You know, UCB didn't want me. I was very bad open mic comedian. So now I'm switching things up.

Maybe go to grad school, maybe get my cyber security certificate or something. I could even move to Southern Italy because I have an apartment, citizenship and a bunch of families there. That said, part of me still wants to keep pursuing the entertainment field. Maybe moved LA. I've lived in Queens my whole life. So maybe a change of scenery could be nice. That said, being a 32-year-old failed actor in LA that might be a little cringe. No, that's a really respect that kind of guy.

Let me know what you think. Love the show. Hey, pal. Look, you kind of laid out your CV for us. We didn't even have to dive in. It's not like you didn't try. Yeah. You gave it a shot.

It didn't work out. First of all, there's no shame in trying and not working out. It just isn't. There's a shame in not trying and forever wondering, but the thing is, you gave it a pretty long try too. It's been what 10 years. Come on.

I mean, like you know the answer. I hate to be this guy to really stamp at home, but I would, I wouldn't now look. Am I saying go to grad school? No, not necessarily. But continuing to put all your efforts in entertainment, I think is probably a mistake. First of all, I'm successful in entertainment, I'm depressed.

You know what I mean? Like, my shit's going, I'm doing better than you will ever, even if shit goes good. And I'm not having that good of time right now. You know what I mean? Like there's like pros and cons to all of it. And you gave it a shot, you tried. And I mean, look, if you wanna move to LA

because it is kind of a nice fun city, you know? It's a cool, it actually, I think a lot of people try LA after failing in New York, because it's like, let's say I fell in LA, I'm still in LA, and I'm in so fucking... You have a backyard. Oh yeah, I have a backyard, it's like, let's say I fell in LA, I'm still in LA and I'm in some fucking... Right, you have a backyard. Oh yeah, I have a backyard, it's fucking nice out. All this kind of shit, maybe Grace's mom will sell you

at home, and if you get your cyber security certificate. I'm not now, if pursuing stuff artistically is like fulfilling to you, by all means, you can continue to do that a little bit as a hobby and just kind of slowly figure it out. But I do think, I think it's on the, you're basically, you've pretty much come to terms with reality, but you are holding out a little too much hope for my taste.

You know, and it's like, you gotta make a decision either way. If you really do feel like you wanna give it one more shot, that's fine, move to LA, give it a shot, but I also think you wanna have like a, what do you want your life to look like when you're 40 at some point? You're not old, but you're not young either. So it's so hard to just have,

also it's like you've been trying for 10 years, and it's like, if you're give it one more year of a shot, that's hard, because if you're gonna blow up out of nowhere, most of the people who are doing that are like 21. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're Charlie Demilia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, it's like, I just got successful

at this level at 30, when am I 34? Or 35, hold on, I'm 34. Yeah, damn, fuck. I just got to say it's what 34 at this level, but it was a series of smaller successes that, you know, it is kind of like, the algorithm really blew my shit up and my special blew my shit up,

but it was like, you know, I did pretty well in comedy for a while. I was opening for Bobby Kelly and Tom Pop, I moved here, I got past these clubs, Kuntown blew up, you know, started touring more. All that, it's like been all one thing after another. And even though it might look like, like to someone out, to like an out,

yeah, like a blow up overnight thing. Yeah. It's like, most blow up overnight things, it's like, exactly what you say. It's use some rich 20 year old, who just like, you know, just hat, they're hot and they're rich and just happens for them. Or it's like, someone in their 30s

that has actually been kind of successful, but not made any money for over a decade. But they've been like touring for a decade. Yeah, they have something going on. And people know, so it's like, just to give you a little sense of reality, doesn't usually happen if you give it one more year, that's probably not gonna be it.

So you have to kind of make a decision of like, am I in for the long haul, where I'm okay if it, you have to be okay with total failure, and like being 40 and living, and you know, having a roommate in Santa Monica, you have to be okay with that. And if you can, if you can stomach that, then fine, keep going. But if you're like, you know what, I could live in Italy or I could, you know, some kind

of cybersecurity shit or even some kind of like, people love coding and doing boot camps and all this little shit. If you just want to find a job and have a little financial security for a little while and pursue your stuff creatively, that's probably the path I would go down. I wouldn't completely give up on my artistic pursuits because I remember thinking when I moved to New York, like I'm gonna give it like,

I'm gonna give it five good years. And if nothing happens, I'm not gonna quit stand up forever, but I'm gonna move back to Baltimore. I'm gonna be one of those guys that like features at my home club that like runs a good show. And just like comedy was something I was so enjoyed doing

that I was never gonna fully quit. And I don't think you have to fully quit the artistic stuff you like, but you might have to come to grips with it's not gonna happen for you, just realistically. Definitely. And I think like you wanna be like making money somehow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I do feel like, you know, also, how are you doing now? Who like, you know, do blow up out of nowhere. If they're not a kid, they are making, like they do have a side job at least. For sure, for sure. Yeah. If not a full-time gig.

So I would say just go ahead, do either grad school or get your cyber security. I wouldn't say grad school. Grad school. You think that's just more money. More money and it's like, you know. And by the way, this guy sounds like the other guy's therapist. Like this guy's not like if this guy wasn't therapist,

he would be talking about how he does it. He's not into it and I was going to screenplay. He really thinks he should read, he's getting his patients to read his fucking screen, give notes on his screenplay. Ha ha ha ha ha. Also like moved to something Italy, I think like anyone in entertainment

would rather fucking do that. No, I literally, yeah, my goal in entertainment is to have enough money to buy a house on an island in Greece and live there four months out of the year. That's my goal, like I want to do that. Like when I'm in my 50s, that's how I want to live my life. So you kind of, you have family there, like I've thought about moving to Greece at different points,

but you know, if she was going a little worse for me, I honestly probably would consider that. Would you have a better shot at breaking through as an actor if he moved to Italy, just did a bunch of cheesy-ass like influencer content on Instagram. God, pay me. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. God, pay me. I'm gonna say. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, pay me. God, every influence with a blow-stop is like, I know. I'm curious, I'm curious. There's no lifestyle influences that are ugly. No, not really. You know what I'm saying?

Well, you have to think something going on if he's tried to be an actor for 10 years if he's done some sort of... I'll just come up. Don't make me roast on the sky because your reading of him is so wrong. I don't wanna have to do that. You know, something's going on.

Oh, he did it open mics for 10 years, so he's got to have something. You've been open mics, pal. You know that's not the case. He said some theater shows. That's something if you're like between your 20s and your 30s. Also, he said he was a very bad open mic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know bad open mic comedians who would say they were good. That's the thing. That's the thing about this guy. He does have self awareness. And I like it. And I do like it. And he probably, he just probably loves the art part of it.

And yeah, in a perfect world, he would just get to do that for his job. But, you know, I'm saying he's more self aware about himself than you are about him. Yeah. And he's like just move to Italy and become a influencer as your fucking advice eldest. I don't know, man.

Yeah. Get something shaking. I just think he could be, he might, if he quits entertainment, he could be like two years online being like, wow, that was the best thing that everybody thinks of me. Oh yeah, for sure. I just think he could be so much happier.

Well, the most fucked up thing about my life is that I was the most happy. When we were talking about that, that's summer, like COVID summer, there was no standup and I was just like, going on dates and work, I lost 50 pounds because I was like working out and cooking all my own meals. Like I was happier when I was not successful

and not doing standup and I was just doing, you know, I was just doing the podcast twice a week and it was like, I wasn't fulfilled creatively or artistically, but I loved my life. You looked in the mirror and you smiled. I smiled. You know what I mean? She was going good for me. That was my healthiest dating.

Totally. And then I went on tour for two straight years and I just lost touch with anybody I, like, anybody I was dating, I lost touch with, like, my sleep schedule, my health, like, it is the better my career is, the worse my health has gotten, and that's why, like, next year, I'm gonna take it a little easier,

but the grass ain't always greener is the other thing about this, too. Mm-hmm. Anyway, whatever dude, you know, let's be honest, what the fuck are we talking about? It not going to happen. Yeah, yeah, I get a fucking job. Yeah. Let's do a nice fun one to play us off with. Listen, while while he's looking at that grace, why don't you plug whatever you want the people to know to follow you.

There is videos online inside first discovered you. Thanks, dude. You can follow me on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter. I don't really use anymore, but just go ahead and throw me a follow. Throw a follow. It's at GKUHLENSCHMIDT. Brutal. I know. Just check out the description of this episode. And copy and paste it. And you listen to my podcast with my friend,

Joe Castle Baker, who's the fucking hilarious. Very funny guy, yes. The podcast is called Finally. Yes, go listen to the podcast, go follow Grace, and are you doing any, are you touring it all? Are you gonna do some? Yeah, I'll be back to shows in like a couple months. I usually take the summer off, just to party.

No, no, no, smart move. It's fun. It's also comedy's not as good in the summer. Yeah, exactly. Because that's how people are too. They're like, I'm not going to comedy. I'm going to be in the part that. When I first moved to New York, I was like doing,

I like lined up all these shows for the summer. And then everyone was inviting me to their house in Hudson. Or like, I don't eat like just anywhere not in the city. And I was like, why would I be doing a show when I could be in a pool? 100% you're absolutely correct percent you're absolutely pretty easy decision absolutely uh...

alright play this last one for us well probably fact you fact mother fucker i'm watching you right now joe i was just wondering my wife very joe very fucking like crazy This is my wife. It's very jealous.

Very fucking crazy. When it comes to me, you know, looking at another chick. How do I hide that better? How can I hide it? I'd better a little bit better. Yeah, just give me a little bit of advice on that again. I love watching you. I love you guys.

I love you, brother. Thanks. guys. All right, love you brother. Thanks. My name is Jake, by the way. Jake, please stay far from. Uh-huh, later. Nice win. Full name. Good one, dude.

Jake from Stay Farm. This is your question. How do you hide ogling other women better from your wife? I don't know, man. Maybe, you know. Maybe you know Maybe don't be like holy shit look at her tits when you're eating dinner with your wife How does he hide him looking at other girls better? How does he hide his wife being jealous? I think you he he is Identified the problem. It is want to get caught Yeah, I don't think there's any way to hide your wife being jealous. Yeah, I think he's just like you know

Don't don't say out loud to your wife the sexual thoughts you're having Looking at another woman in the restaurant. Well, he sounds sober is fuck right now calling him So he might he might just be fucking plastered and just like he doesn't seem like the most subtle man just in general So I don't know I don't know what to tell you maybe take some He just like, he doesn't seem like the most subtle man just in general. So I don't know, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe he takes some karate. You know what I mean? Learn like the art of being sneaky.

Maybe some kind of breathwork classes. Be more attached to your body, you know? Because you're probably making involuntary noises and looks. No, you. Oh my God. He sees a lot of girls like, oh. I'm like, that's what it's happening. You know, 100% he's doing that weird grunt.

He's making me so obvious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, dude, I would say, you know, maybe train yourself in the art of espionage. You know, take some some go to the spine museum You know really just watch some James Bond film or submission That was such an awesome move to get the mirrored sunglasses Mirrored sunglasses and just like you know I would say maybe don't ogle women around your wife you know everyone's human we all take a peek if

you're out and about it's some dress season what are you gonna do but really I would say the general rulers don't move your neck if you keep everything like I focused and like not but you don't want to do this You know what I mean you want to like yeah, you don't want to turn around You don't want to do any of that stuff and definitely no noises And definitely no remarks and maybe give your wife a little more attention Yeah, you can be easier on her. I think yeah You're also like this is your you're not saying like I'm not I want to divorce or anything like this is your wife

Right, so maybe also just show her more of that attention right right be horny for your wife You can balance it out and you can look at more girls because you are giving her more attention Right, I mean this sounds like if I had to guess, this sounds like maybe two people trapped in a bad life together. Maybe. This guy just kind of from his whole demeanor, how drunk he is calling into the spot, guys. Yeah. Uh-huh, the fact that, you know, he says she's very fucking crazy

when it comes to me even looking at another chick. Like, did you cheat on her before? Yeah, it's like, what's going, there's more context here, for sure. You also don't sound like a piece of ass, so something's up here, you know on her before? Yeah, it's like, what's going? There's more context here, for sure. You also don't sound like a piece of ass, so something's up here, you know what I mean? Just from your voice, I wouldn't be scared to lose you unless you had already cheated and maybe, you know,

is she sick? Is she very vulnerable to she need you? First of all, financial support right now. I'm not picking up a very loving vibe about your, and maybe, you know, maybe that's not true, maybe I'm not picking up a very loving vibe about your, and maybe, you know, maybe that's not true, maybe I'm just generalizing on, you know, how fucked up you sound right now, but work on the marriage a little bit, don't turn your neck, and get sneakier and don't make any noises.

Yeah, just give yourself a no-ogling rule when you're with your wife. Like go out with the boys, or just go to a rest like anywhere you are where your wife isn't, you can let your guard down. Sure. But even then, don't get wild with it. Even then, no turning your neck rule applies. Right. You know?

Because I'm, yeah, it's like you are a married man. Yeah. Yeah. And my guess is I'm just gonna wild hunch. I don't think the women you're ugly or too thrilled either. Just I'm gonna I'm willing to bet. No one's too pumped to fucking look at your bloodshot eyes. Undressing them. See seeing the flugging. We find out they're like yelling their phone numbers Yeah, he's hot even though he sounds so bad maybe cap off each social engagement a two or three beers Yeah, that's good point. That's fair. Yeah, so fucking drunk you go cross-slides

Great point eldest and I think that's gonna do it for us Yeah, weeks episode folks. Thank you so much Grace. Thanks for being here. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, very fun. Call 9 or 4 800 staff. Leave your voice smells. We'll answer your questions guys. Go follow Grace. Listen to her podcast with Joe Castle Baker and we will be back soon. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem.

Where do you put eight people, all with different requirements, and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms, and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.