Stavvy's World - #36 - Jared Freid

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

Jared Freid joins the pod to discuss still dating in his 30s, how his family of Jewish salesmen influenced his approach to comedy, why Larry Bird caused a rift in his family, and his comedy special "37 and Single" coming out on Netflix on August 15th. Jared and Stav help callers including a woman who hates where she lives but doesn't want to give up the cheap rent, and a man wondering if his friend group should tell their closeted friend that they know he's gay. Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!  Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at patreon.com/stavvysworld 

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification get an Airbnb Everybody to stop these rules 904 100 staff call in will solve all your problems We have a honestly expert problem solve room and it makes he's been doing it. I you can argue I stole his whole shit That's why I'm here tonight. He's been taking advice for years It is funny when you see when you see someone do advice and you're like, what the fuck dude? And then you're like, oh right, I mean, they wrote columns about like this in the 20s. Right, I mean, I'm doing that. Yeah, you do that initial 20s.

For one second, you're like, oh, I guess we're just stealing a video. I mean, it's wrong. Yeah, you do have that moment. And then, you know, like, I've been doing the advice for so long. And it started with just like, I literally, for some reason, podcasts are a great place for advice

because I think people just like the idea of like, if they trust you, the anonymity part. Absolutely. Like, they like the idea of a, too, and especially comedians, I think we're the perfect people to like yeah you know people go what do you know the biggest dick in the world Like what do you know and it's like I know nothing I just know I gave out my email one day My podcast and people are like well I'm going to this bar and I met this chick. How do I fuck? Ideas I don't know if they were we can throw some stuff around right at us. Yeah, you don't need to know anything

We're we're a nice we're a second set of eyes You know different perspective on things perspectives the word and it's also comedians are not like you know The worst people to go to wear advice is when you tell them the story and they go you did what right and you go No, no, nothing you people can say yeah, we go okay So you got a guy's hand, you know, dick in your hand and you have shirt and you've petted. Okay, it's a little weird. We're gonna figure this out.

We can figure it out. To me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me. To me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me. To me, to me, to me, to me, to me. Okay, here's what I think, now hear me out. Yeah, you know, so we're always ready for the initial of course.

Promise. Let's flip stuff. Okay, now let's work through it. Right. Absolutely. No, it's nice because we, at the very least, we've thought about a lot of stuff. Even if we're stupid, we've given it a lot of thought. So even if you're running a really shitty computer, but you're running it constantly,

it's gonna come up with some answers. Well, that's the thing. We have our days to think things through. We're thinking a little, it is, and credit stuff. When someone goes, you say the things that I think. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the job of the comedian. It's like, I have to put into words these thoughts that you really don't have the time to Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got a job. You got a job of children, you know, a whole life. And it's nice because we've also, at least I feel like put ourselves in fucked up situations. Right. So that it's like, oh yeah, I'm not, there's no judgment here.

Well, I've also noticed that comedians are very similar, like we come from every angle. We have the most diverse workplace that there ever could be. That's why. That's why it is really interesting. When people are like, oh, that's offensive, it's like, no, I have the person to go through

to see if it's offensive or not. There are literally mentally disabled people that are very good standards. Right. We have everything. We have it all. It's, I I love that about it because it's like, you can have just a really smart, well spoken person, not funny at all.

Not funny. And then you have just a gutter dwelling, just piece of dog, sex addict, troll, whatever. And crushing does can't read. And the one thing we have in common is that I think all of us were like the type of students, like the good comics, I think, no matter what their background is,

it's always this type of student who came in and was like, the homework's due? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then got it done somehow. Right, right, right. Before they collected it, whether it was to cheat, lie or steal.

A little make up, a make up, an excuse. Right. Arm your way through it. Yeah. You don't have to collect this today, Mrs. Connolly. Yeah, you also understood, you also understood how to manipulate people pretty early in life. Right, right, right.

We are sensitives in a way that it's like, oh, that's a good mark over there. Do you remember your first manipulation of your life? Do you remember the first, do you remember like being a little kid and just like getting away with something or like, or even just like something you're particularly, not even as a first one, just any nice manipulation. I just remember like, I remember showing up to like a social studies test and being like, wait, the test is today.

And then I remember my friend Debbie, she was like the corn, the seed ahead of me. I'm like, and she could see my eyes. Like, it's not gonna happen for me. And she just like watched me cheat off of her. And I just remember like, we got the test back like two weeks later, got her grades and I did better than her. Yeah.

And I was like, no, you had one that I didn't really agree with. Yeah. That happened to me once. I lit a friend sheet off me in an ancient Greece quiz. Oh, so you did, that's unfair. It wasn't fair, but I thought I knew everything. And I guess I just like, you know, I didn't, that's the annoying thing when you,

and I was an opinionate little fucking asshole. And I was like, I don't actually agree with this one. And I like marked it different than what I knew the teacher wanted. And then he just, he reminded me, he did the exact same thing reminded the exact same thing was like I think I remember this being good and he got a better grade than me but he's addicted to pills now so that's for one for Stavvy. God I'm gonna go to his ass.

Honestly there's an ancient Greece quiz. Yeah, yeah. If I'm the teacher I'm like a Stavros we're gonna move you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the whole class would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Over your shoulder. I love that shit too.

Yeah. But yeah, we got our boy Jared Fried in the mix. New special hour right now on the weekend. I don't, we had somebody else just on here promoting something and he said, technically you're not supposed to say it because it's a bad, because of the writer strike. What?

I don't know. We called it the big end for him, but you can say Netflix a few. I'm not on the, you're not in the guild. No, I didn't let me in. No, I'm on Netflix. My mom cried when I told her. You were here. I'm like, it sucks what's going on. I want it all to work out.

Everyone to get paid what they're fairly paid. But at the same time, my mom cried. It's on Netflix. Go watch it. Good luck feeding your family. An old Jewish woman in Florida cried. And that's what's important here folks Go watch it. Hey by the time this comes out everything will be resolved no chance

I'm sure no chance. It's gonna go into the fall. Yeah, Trump and Biden are gonna hug By the time this comes out Watch it 37 and single on on the big end right now Fire it up and what would you say the themes of the special are I'm kidding did it. I don't know, am I? Is this a... 60 minutes?

No, no, Jared, I was softly mocking you. And you took it in face value. You took it out of wifebeater, it's gonna... It has to be the depth of my common personal right, make a bunch of fucking jokes. And when do you think you'll find love finally, Jared? I don't know. 37 and single.

Yeah, I mean, I talk about dating some, I've been talking about dating for like now, like, you know, since 15 years, I know you mean. You know, it's weird and then, again, there like now like, you know, since 15 years. I know you mean. You know, it's weird and then again, there's those people like, what do you know? When it's like, I've thought about this a lot. I've been out here, baby. Out in these streets.

So yeah, I went through a breakup and Ed. I do remember that because, you know, we met, you know, probably when I first moved to New York, at this point, probably eight, seven or eight years ago. Right. And yeah, I was like, you're a good comic and it was York, at this point, probably eight, seven or eight years ago. Right. And yeah, I was like, you're a good comic, and we were all pretty young, and it's all like the same kind of dating,

we're all doing basically similar stuff, and then I remember you getting into a relationship, and you felt like the kind of guy where it's like, yeah, you're gonna probably get married and like, you move on, you know, it's like, because you come from, you know, your family's pretty successful, right? Like, you'd come from a pretty good,

like, you are a cop, obviously, we share the same comic stuff, but like, you did come from a, like a better background, a lot of comics, right? That's the thing where I kinda cringe a little bit, someone's like, oh, every comic is a fucking dark. Yeah, you, sir. Idiot, loser, hate, some self-comming.

I hate myself in the normal way. I like my childhood, like my hair. I like playing sports and high school. Yeah, big red flags. Big red flags. These were like making my friends laugh. That's the reason I got into comedy. I didn't realize, I think when we kind of started,

it was this like, tell your tail of suffering I better find some fucking suffer I had two power wheels And it's hard to do you motherfucker we got one and it immediately got stolen really my family bought my dad bought me one And it was a big part of highlight of my life, dude I had a red convertible that I had that one too. It was so sick. He left it outside in Baltimore. It got stolen. That's where I got mine Yeah, you're dad's like I know where we can get it not to get too anti-Semitic off the top I know how to get a deal

off the top. I know how to get a deal. You got these idiot Greeks. Take another Corbets. It's like that episode of The Sopranos where they steal some guy's car and the guy drops the end bomb and then it cuts to the town. It cuts the black guy stole from him but he did it only to sell it to the mafia. So it's like this funny thing where it's like, in the sopranos, you're like, oh, the guy's like, I can't believe they stole a car and he's stupid, you know, whatever.

And then just because it's only soprano looking at a picture of the guy's car and smiling, it's like your dad was doing that before a Hot Wheels ring. Where he's just having people steal from Baltimore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go down from Massachusetts to take power wheels from little Greek kids. Yeah. He's the head of this big mafia soul organ.

Organized crime. Yeah. Two power wheels. That's that's why you know, you know, that's something right there. It's one of those things that's all this is grandma slept in the living room. Oh my god. You're dealing with Baltimore poverty over here. We did not have power wheels. No power wheels. Power wheels from that commercial. Yeah, how you got here? Dude, I know I'm just like, you know, the comedy stuff, it's, well, this goes back to

it's every background, it's every type. Like, we got people that like their family, hey, their family everywhere in between. But that's what I'm saying. I'm in Burbs City, you know, whatever. And we're talking Burbs, then, because you're in Burbs and Frosting. Burbs and Frosting, right outside of Boston.

Yeah, yeah. And you know, when it's a like a very idyllic high school look like out of a Mayberry, you know, it was like story time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's funny because it's like, I started doing comedy and I would go talk about dating at like, you know, these like open mics

with everyone be like, like, well, like it sound like I was bragging. You know? Yeah, yeah. You know, like I was like, I really do want to talk. I mean, I have an interest. I have an interest in the subject of love and the subject of like going on a first date and talking to a woman and having,

I've been turned down. I've gotten, you know, broken up with people, you know, like it's all over the board and when I broke up and ended my relationship and like we were living together and moved out, I'm now like that 30, you know, later 30s, like, oh shit, I thought, just like you said, like I thought life was going in another direction.

Now I'm kind of thrown back into this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People a little bit, the people that I date generally are kind of, like my audience is generally female. Yeah. So it's like those were, and they were a lot like women that I would date. So I was getting a lot of like, we should get drinks

and I was getting frustrated by it. So, and all while kind of like working through, why did I break up? You know, like, why did I, why am I afraid of? You know, and it became that type of, and it like just kind of came out of that. You broke it off. I ended it, yeah, it just wasn't the right mix.

It just wasn't it. Nothing not a bad person, not a bad anything. And that's most breakups. 99% of breakups happen for no reason at all. You know, one person's just afraid or just not. There's this feeling and a lot of men do it where we end things before the next step. Definitely.

You know, we get afraid, oh, the next step because then we feel this responsibility. I gotta take care. I gotta be ready for this. I gotta leave my adolescence and even though you're in your 20s and 30s, you're going, I don't know if I'm ready for being dead. Right.

Right. And the husband on the sitcom, right, Elvis? Right. You don't wanna be that guy. Two feet dead. And the thing is, sitcom right eldest right you don't want to be that guy Do feet and the thing is like you know a lot of times and not to gender this But like a lot of times like you know the heroic position is but we should fall in love and move on and the evil position is I'm not ready. Maybe I could do this with someone else You know like maybe there's a better mix out there for me

You know also the the problem with that thinking I think is the is like, that's not true forever, right? Like, like, I definitely started feeling this where I'm like, all right, man, I am like, I'm a little young, but we're at the same ballpark, you know, where I'm just like, how much longer can this go? Well, that's a longer can do. Like when you are a 45 year old man trying to get pussy, there is no more pathetic being on earth. Well that, no, there's nothing more pathetic and hearing about it from them, it doesn't even sound right. Sounds fucked up.

And I'm not like a get and pussy guy. You know, like I was like, you know, what would allow him to do a lot is like, I go to a bar, have a drink by myself, sit there on my phone and I'm like, good. And I'm like, you gotta a lot. It's like I gotta go to a bar, have a drink by myself, sit there on my phone, and I'm like good. And I'm like, you gotta be better than my phone. Right now, you're gonna fucking bring something. Are you gonna put up on Stroyer's?

Some fun, a nice anecdote. Like let's have fun and laugh, and then I would go on dates and it was very performative, it felt a little performative. I think a lot of people get stuck in that. The dating apps make things also, you know, the saying are generations having less sex than ever. And it's like, yeah, the dating apps added this whole like very structured process to a thing that's more supposed

to be unstructured, you know, your first date, second date, dinner, will there be sex in the third? You know, like there's all that stuff that you get caught into because the app kind of creates this thing where it's like, there's no will they want that. You have both agreed. Minute one, I find you attractive just by one swipe or like. So when that's out of the way, you're like, you know, men, we like to chase a little bit. We want to know. I got to capture the beast. I want to fucking take down

You know, and then when you lose that when you learn like oh, yeah, you can eat me Yeah, yeah, if you like go on the day like oh, this isn't fun You know, so a deer just showing you it's pussy You want to romance it a little bit for you know, you want to get that shotgun out right? Force it to show you it's pussy. I see you're saying Jared. Yeah, you won't hold it You won't hold the gun to a woman No, I reach a loud and clear Men please You know you do want the rush of like you you're in a bar, like, what's more exciting than being in a bar, being like, I'm gonna get up the fucking balls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To go up to someone say hi. Totally. And you go, and then it works out? Oh, dude, the best memories, like, I didn't really fuck until, until like I moved out of college girlfriend and I, we broke up and then I lived with my parents for a little bit and then I got a house in Baltimore with some friends for a year when I was 23, 24 and it was right before I moved to New York and I remember this part of your life for summer. You were the only one having it. Yeah, I had just, I was opening for Bobby a little bit.

We might even, honestly, we might even met when I didn't even live here yet. I think that's what we know. We didn't even on YKWD. Now there's a lot of stuff about it. It was on Bobby's podcast and you were like on the end. Yes.

And that was the best time of my life where I, first of all, there's nothing better than skating on potential. Because you haven't had to do anything yet, but people are like, you will do something. And then you feel like, I'm the best comic in a shitty little town, and I would go on to get laid basically just from getting internet famous. There's no easier way to get pussy than be in a film. There's a lot of mentally ill women on the internet,

and they will have sex with you. But I cherish so much more the like 10 girls I fucked when I was broken Baltimore than I do the like way more women that cause it was like, it was a thing of like go up at a bar, like you know, even if they saw me at a show,

it was, I wasn't famed. I was just some shitty comic. In a lineup of 10 shitty comics and I would chat them up and I would have to take them to my horrible house. And all the steps of, I still feel more accomplished. Then, then I do, now we're just, I mean, any woman listening to this right now

should be deleting the app right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that. The carnal caveman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not chase as much. I only like when someone's like, you gotta be tough.

It's no, it's that your whole life as a young boy. I remember the young boy being told. Talked to her. Yeah. Talked to her. And being too much of a coward for most of it. Most of it. So when you get over that hump,

it's like there's nothing better. Right, and these apps were created by nerdy men. Yeah, yeah. You know, the apps created to create a world safe for nerd. Yeah. You know, like, you and I, you know, couple alpha males. Alpha dudes.

Couple fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These apps were made for us, baby. Cool fucking bros. Prussian plus and milstool. Yeah. They were not us, dude. Cool fucking gross Prussian plus and middle school They were made because nerds were like I'm never gonna talk here. We would every now and again Yeah, it had to be fucking the oh for sure. I had to be perfect

I'm gonna say I'm going listen I was trying to story on stage, but like I remember the young age, even not just girls. Anybody go talk to them. Be a man, shake their hands. Scared of, like make a request or like, I was always scared to do some shit like that. I was, I tried to tell him to say, but I'll do a little dance for you. I'll make you laugh. I'll do something stupid. I'll do something stupid.

We're almost stupid idiots. But God forbid I like ask the guy, I'll be like, oh, am I actually ordered a burger, not a chicken sandwich? I would be in a cold sweat Going to say that I was coming home from Russia Shana temple Okay, we're driving in your power wheels convert Sounds about right checks out at the temple. They're giving out stolen After they've had the meeting on who gets to be president, they're like, and now.

Are we eating? Yeah. When everybody seems in, it's our highest holiday. And that's what Russia shot is. Every synagogue zooms in and they have the real vote for who gets to be president. That's where we decide we're trying to country girls. You're right.

You're right. So after we're done deciding, it's where the country goes yeah yeah yeah yeah we're driving to my grandparents house my grandparents lived near Larry bird oh wow the famous basketball player all the fame basketball players of course and my dad pulls over the car on the side of the road and Larry birds cleaning out his garage oh my god my dad goes get out go get an autograph from Larry bird and I'm in the back in my little how do you? 10 oh and I'm going and by the way your dad is the true coward here because he did the fuck out he did the math and he was like if a grown man and just Larry

birds home on Russia Shawna and asks for a rape he'd be like he would literally threaten to kick his ass yeah yeah, you're like, get the fuck out, look at that. It's a girl, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little kid in a sweater, in his finest, little in his finest suit. Yeah. A little kid. Jusu. I mean, my Jewish, no, Jewish vote, your president,

I'm voting, absolutely. Choosing the direction of the country. I'm literally my issue. And I'm like, no, I don't wanna get out. My dad goes, get out and talk to Larry He's going you can do it He goes no no you can do it and I go no and he goes you will never forget this the rest of your life Oh my god, I don't care. Yeah, my mom Jewish mom going

Stop it You know it's like when the Iron Man puts on the Hulk break or see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you fold you mom and I'm going and I'm now I'm crying. Oh my God. My brother's six years old, he's just next to me like, what the fuck is going on? And we drive away. I have been every time it can come up, it comes up. Yeah.

You didn't talk to Larry. You didn't get an autograph from Larry Bird. It's been my whole 38 now. I'm saying. You didn't talk an autograph from Larry Bird. It's been my whole 38 now. You didn't talk to Larry Bird. So to bring it back, when it's a woman, and you've talked her, you've done the most, you're the king of pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you actually accomplish, totally, hello, I'm, I'm, I'm, yeah, you're doing every time it does feel like a huge accomplishment the biggest and it's like you know And again these apps are crutches. They're a kind of a time suck. They're a way to get dopamine Yeah, you know when you meet someone in the bar Maybe it's let's call it a hundred it feels like you have fucking testosterone going through Yeah, yeah, yeah, you probably get like 10% of that from every match on a dating app. Oh, a match.

It's a little bit of a slow drip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A feeling like a man. So we go to that because it's easier. Yeah. Well, this is also showing your privilege because for the obese community, matches on Tinder are not looking good.

Well, listen, you know what I mean? But you might, but if you, I'm saying, if you get a match, aren't you their type? Like isn't that great? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I've pretty much fucked most of the matches I've gotten but it's because I've gotten like 12 matches Where they go like I'm any Jew, you know banker. Yeah, yes, yes, I'm like kind of interchangeable Of course, so like that. I'm like they're literally on the other end going well, he checks a box. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've checked the It's a it's a rare box, but when he gets checked it feels good

Right, that's I mean, I think that's there's again positive negatives to all this thing You know like I was on a date once and This is girl should see this is where you're lucky like I was on a day girl And the girl goes you look just like my friend's husband and I go man. I go. I'm sure he's gorgeous Like I try to like get away from it. I was like I don't want to see like your friend's chubby husband with She was no you look just like my friend's husband. I was like, I was gorgeous and she goes, no, I gotta show you.

She takes her phone and I'm like, and I couldn't hide. I was just like, I was like, this is over. I don't like her. I can't see what you're into. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also you wanna fuck your friend's husband? Right, imagine she shows up to a dinner party with you.

And you do look exactly like him. When her friend be like, what the fuck? What's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck is this? And her husband's like, interesting.

Her husband's, then even if you guys don't work out, the husband's filing that away. He's happy with it. And now he's like, I'm very happy that I fuck her. Right. Yeah.

This also shows the difference between male and female swiping too. Like you're getting swiped again. It's a, I, okay, and we'll see. Right. When we swipe, it's like, I want to fuck. Like, and it's an icky admission to make. Sure.

But, you know, the idea, like, our penis doesn't let us go on dates where, you know, we'll see what happens. We'll see how their job is and how good they are in person. No, we will see what happens, but it's like, we also want to fuck you. Right, right, right. We didn't go in thinking like, like I get emails all the time where it's like,

I've been on five dates with this guy because I have a lot of female emails. Right, right, right. It would be like, I've been on five dates with this guy. I'm not sure if I'm attracted yet. And I'm like crazy. I can't understand something less. Yeah.

Five is insane. Well, there's this whole thing I keep putting up these bits about the Ick, like, and the Ick is like, men don't have the Ick, right? We have, you know, the Ick is a product of, I'm giving them a chance, and they have ruined it by doing one weird, funny thing that is funny. They know it's ridiculous.

Everyone that tells me they're Iq, when it's a good Iq, it's like something that's both reasonable and unreasonable at the same time. It'll be like, you know, the one I heard the other day, those fucking people. Give me one, him, it was a guy trying to merge into traffic and no one will let him in. And she couldn't fuck him out of that.

I'm gonna fuck him out of that. I'm gonna fuck him out of that. The first man, and you know, that's fucking hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, like, he's just sitting there being like, like, on the, on the, like, I don't know what's going on. Yeah, you know, like, he's like, and it's like, you get it. That's ridiculous. That's an, that's not a good reason not to fuck someone. Of course, of course. It's also reasonable because it's like, it's a good reason not to buy someone.

And then it's also like, oh, you weren't sure about fucking them. Right. You got to the point. You're like in first scapegoat. You're like in first scapegoat of like, you didn't sure about fucking them. You got to the point. You're looking for a scapegoat. You're looking for a scapegoat of like, you didn't really want to fuck them. But yes, absolutely. A girl could like pull up to my house.

And she is just not only did she merge, she's gotten into multiple accidents. Her car's on fire. There's like skin and bone and flesh on one of her tires. And she's like, oh, crazy commute. And I just would look at her car, and I would look at her and be like, yeah, it sounds pretty crazy.

You go on a come upstairs or what? It's not like I wouldn't not fuck her. Not exactly. And then after I fuck that'd be like, I don't know, I probably only fuck her like two or three more times. After she probably, she's been charged with vehicular manslaughter.

Let's see. If I can attach to these crimes anyway. And then, you know, that's the whole thing. And you go, you know, like, that's where we kind of, you know, again, men versus women has been a million years of differences. But it is these apps have like amplified it. One thing I find is that women actually love shopping. No Have you ever? Do they be shopping? Have you ever seen that have you ever come across that? I didn't I do look like I have actually no I'll just have you noticed that yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy Did you know 37 and single might mean that my special might be based on dating?

I mean, don't get me wrong, mine's called fat rascal. We're not, we're not, nobody's doing anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be surprised, I'm fat and I do rascal type activities. Rascally fellow. I'm a rascally fellow, whether it's yelling at an airline employee for being a dumb bitch or eating pussy or eating ass. All those sometimes one after the other.

Sometimes a nice one long swipe. Sometimes one continuous swipe like it's a big ass lollipop in the 20s. This thing's going first class. I got to seal it up real nice. pop in the 20s. Big envelope. Yeah. These things go in first class. I got to seal it up real nice. End to end. Right. We don't even have to do this in the middle.

I got enough moisture to get me all the way through this big envelope. Big envelope. But yeah, dude, I definitely know what you mean. And it is interesting about, you're right, it is so that moment with your parents is so funny about the Larry Bird shit dude, because it also just tells you kind of, all, there's so much of this shit is beyond your control.

So much of it happened, and that's when you remember. There's so much other shit, like that probably affected your six year old brother and he doesn't remember it either. Right, right, right, you know what I mean? There's so much shit that it's like you saw your parents do or that's just see tinned to you That you're like toast so you had so it's you and your you and your you just one younger brother Myself and just us Just you and we're all like very alike, you know like my dad my brother and I all like the same thing

Like it's not like one classic one one idiot in the corner being like, I like emo music. No, it's like, we all like sports, we all like food, we all like going out to, like I like my family, like I enjoy, what is your brother, what are your brother and your dad do? Oh, you're gonna go crazy. My brother's in the NFL, does stuff with the NFL.

Oh, and you're a big Baltimore fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck? So he used to be with the dolphins, and now he's with the bears. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, so he's... I don't know this. That's crazy.

I don't really, you know, I don't know what I can say. He was sleeping on my couch. I'm going to open my... Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was sleeping on my couch telling me he's like, I want to be an NFL GM. That's crazy. And there was like six months in him on my couch,

I had to kick him out. I was like, listen man, there's too many dreams in the start. You. I'll just, you know, I was thinking the other day, I love, you know what I love, mango the fruit. I love its sweet, its delicious, and I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets.

Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off, being like, this actually, one time after a day I was like, want to come back with some fruit salad. And I thought it was smooth. And then some girl, after she fucking was like that was so weird You asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't dry and I didn't I wasn't drinking at the time Well, they say mangoes are an effort easy. Yeah. Well, here's the thing

I'll thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango and I've often times I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards Yeah, and I was thinking to myself What if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest.

You know I'm an ED. I've tried them all from the gas stations to other services. MangoRx now has a new ED pill that is game changing, okay? Really? Taste like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, and they got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never

heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever. We're talking zwing! You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing! Yeah, that's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light. One little gleam when I turned my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks.

You heard it here first. I don't know. Yeah, because like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science shit in here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It was the goal of this podcast.

Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work within you the innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard science in the field right people who have a beautiful goal you here's their mission make America hard again eldest they have you know let's get, can we get fuck an idiot? There you go, sorry. We tried to give it the applause, it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again.

I think on, whatever side of the aisle you're on, conservative, liberal, leftist, centrist, we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks, all this division in the world would go away, eldest. I think this is such a good product, eldest. I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on ED, medication in general, because look, here's the thing about mango orics,

you might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal. Yeah. All right. I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend.

The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed. You've seen me take getables. That's true. Just because you wanted a little gummy. You've got to have a snack, because that's so much wine to get high. I'm saying you take me take getables. That's sure. Just because you wanted a little dummy. I'm kind of a snag. Because I have so much to why I had to get high.

I'm saying you take weed addables. I've seen you take fiber addables where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary snag. I've seen you take thumbs on an empty stomach. Just because you wanted the taste and that's how we got elders through the door here with mango Rx.

It's easy folks. Buying mango is so easy. Just go to mangorx.com, complete a short and secured telemedicine visit. You're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over in literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing quick and easy. Be sure to use code stav20 to save 20% off your first order. you and your partner are going to love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait.

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me.

And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around. And remember, one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. On the one of us needs a fucking job. We got to. Because we wake up and talk to each other about like and he'd be like, I gotta do this. And we're all just dreaming. You know, like I'm like, maybe there'll be a Netflix special.

He wants to me. He's like, what if I like we like hot, you know, ideas off each other, but like, you know, went and became like a janitor for the team. I was like, what do you, this is good one. I'm telling you, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop it! We're just delusional together.

And he solves a trade on the chalkboard. He's like, what if he moved him from two future firsts? Who is the smith? It's like, yeah. And it's like, you know, so then he ended up, you know, my brother was a great athlete, you know, he was a lacrosse player. So like the lacrosse community kind of got him in the sports world and he's now doing great. He's so awesome.

So with the Bears and doing great things. And then my dad was like, see, I come from like, you know, it's funny, you mentioned Jewish. Like, I think there's like a few different types of Jews. I was just going to say, you're a rare bro Jew. Bro Jews. I love this such a thing. I think I've like a few different types of juice. I was just gonna say you're a rare bro, Jew. Bro, Jew. I love this. I think I've spilt them into like two with it. I want the whole text on me.

There's lawyer, you know, there's lawyer, Jew. Lawyer doctor, learned, and you know. We call that the classic model. Classic model. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We were never, like nobody in my family was a lawyer or a doctor, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but that was like foreign to us like my you know It's not like we had a lot of college graduate, you know until my generation real okay

But then there's like I think there's also like social worker Jew sure that does like a good bleeding Blood a little very liberal very liberal, you know PBS Yes cloth tote all everywhere. These are generalizations, but I say good. But I love that you get to do them. This is great. I can do this. No, this is great.

You get to memorize this script I sent them yesterday. Yeah. You get to do your shoes from the concentration spirit. You see, Harry, I don't know why you're more comfortable doing that than you are just describing smart and successful Jews. I read an interesting article on the internet and I felt like I needed to use my platform to show differing opinions.

That's all. It's a first amendment thing. I am from salesman entrepreneurial Jewish people. So like my dad used to sell liquor beer wine. He was a whole sale of sale of liquor beer wine. My always family business is always stuff like that. Always sales, like my mom even sales. You get the personal shopping.

My grandfather and her side sold like rags to the auto plants and Detroit. Like always sales people. So like the idea of going in a comedy isn't really that much of a stress as far as like, we're selling we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're a sing-dance and dust baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like the idea of like being a outwardly, you know, a mode of Jewish person with family that's like, you know, like my dad, when I started doing comedy, he's like, oh, to him, you're starting a business. Like, it wasn't interesting. It wasn't an art to him. That's very interesting. And it's an art to me. Like, I really, you know, the artsy fartsy shit, I'm like, I don't understand. I'm telling stories that people fucking laugh at. Yeah.

Great, but how do we position it? I'm like trying to get people in these seats. Right, and you put some, you know, and for us, you know, where we are entrepreneurial spirit, like we've mentioned, like, you know, what's going on, again, I hate to come back to it, but like, you know, with the strike, I want the best for the workers, I want the best for the writers,

I want them to like, I fear AI in the same way they do. Yeah. When we, you know, I didn't get hired, you know, and so what's the next move? Right, right, right, right. I wanna be a comedian, okay. Well, let's go straight to the people. It's sort of podcast.

Let's get a bunch of cameras. Let's invest the money. You know, I fully know what you mean. You had to. What else are you gonna do? When you started doing Compton, like, when I heard you were making the money, you were making on the Patreon, I was like,

okay, there's gold in the middle. There's gold in the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, middle. I'm sure we have some. It's time to start a Patreon, you go, and you go, okay, that's a way for me to do the thing I love to make jokes and go on the road and do the things. So, and I'm incredibly passionate about that. But when I started, my dad was like,

you're starting a business. And he wasn't like you're funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, I don't know what he was like, yeah, what the fuck you're doing? Yeah, this is where you're great, your grandfather's sold rags. You're selling dick jokes. Like they're both worthless in a vacuum, but if you move enough of them, you can make

some happy. Yeah, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no So, you know, sell conspiracy theories by your people and stuff. 13 years from now. So, yeah. So, I come from that type of, you know, like, I was like a summer camp too. Not even blue guy.

I'm not going to say that. Like, things were okay. A blue collar spirit with the salesman. I think that's like a big, you know, everyone in my family is that way. So, it does feel like salesman kind of is the perfect middle ground where it's like you see a family change from like the blue collar shit to like sales

where it's like it could go either way. You could be a car salesman, but the very same skills you're basically in finance. Right. So it's like, it's a form of finance. You kind of, you kind of see that very Usually is like a real Demarcation for a lot of families. I feel like well you also make a lot of money in sales you ever meet someone who's like in pharmaceutical like medical

Yeah, they don't know shit about science nothing. Yeah nothing and they are just great here great smile right here great So and then pure gusto. Yeah, oh Yes, yes, no, you know, maybe they know their product, but it's not like they could like and like I have friends They're in the hospital during surgeries because they just got a watch over the machines I don't even know She's got a knife in a guy's kidney. He's like On plugs a plugs are back in. You good. You good.

You good. Come on, just, yo, come on. Blow in the cartridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude, but I totally get that though, because there's definitely something different. That's interesting to view comedy that way, but also just, you know, It's a stupid business to go into. You know, like, you don't even, and if you don't think view comedy that way, but also just, you know, it's a stupid business to go into it

You know like you don't even and if you don't think of it that way like I'm like oh will be funny like whatever We'll figure it out and like you know pot. I love doing podcasts like I really do enjoy them You know we were talking before like we tape a bunch of them after a while you're tired Yeah, after a while you're tired, you know, but you know I love talking. I love shooting the shit for sure This is what I was doing in the basement of my buddies house. Yeah, I was doing my Camp I was always in a at a rondack chair. Yeah talking shit, you know, what about camp? Were you getting any were you getting jacked off the can? No, no, no, all boys. Oh boys. I thought that was the big thing with So that's a there's there's differences in camps There's the co-ed community and the all in the one

You know all boys all girls caps and the all boys all boys all boys all girls caps If you went to one you like swear by it if you went to a co-ed camp you swear by that like there's a big division in the Jewish Commute the Jewish summer camp, of which is the better option. Sure, I would always send, like, I think you get to play sports. Like, the thing is, like, at all boys, it's all about the sports. It's all about like, camaraderie sports.

It's not, if you introduce girls to 12-year-old boys, that's all you're gonna think about. That's all you think about. Who's, who's, and that's what, it's funny because, like, I was on a date with someone and she was telling me, she went to a co-head camp and she was like, her story, which, you know I was on a date with someone and she was telling me she went to a Goat camp and she's like her story which you know cap comes off Of course you was like and she was like just telling me stories from her camp about like all their things were about

Embarrassing their friends in front of the boys. Oh, you know when you go that's funny Yeah, not my experience like me and the fellas just chilling. Chillin? Sayin' stupid shit. Farting, chitting, peeing everywhere, spitting everywhere, swear words. Of course. That was our whole, we had plenty of that going on. No girls to be found.

And me and eldest is adolescents. But boy, did we chill? Boy, did the fellas chill. Did you guys grow up together? Yeah, we grew up in Friendsants kindergarten. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've probably logged, and now we, my road manager,

so we've logged in this past year. I'll just probably saw me more than his girlfriend easily. That's a bad idea. Yeah, I think not easily, but if we tallied it up, it would be like, it would be like a too close to call Presidential likes you have to wake up the next day to find out who won it wouldn't be that night But yeah, dude, we we we you're just all we did was chill. How many times does this story been told on this podcast a lot But a lot that's what I get into it if you've already done it, but I'm like We can find a new angle

What was that what did you do before what was that what did you do before um I was just writing like entertainment news at this company it was dog kind of like people magazine type bullshit and stuff is like we different on Yeah, everyone's turtle All turtles, baby All turtles, all turtles, all turtles addition It's like oops all berries All turtles, all turtles That's me and all this is live

It's a great spin-. Lot of good restaurants. Oh yeah. Lot of good street food. Yeah, yeah. I would love to see that. I have a lot of meals in this. A lot of meals. A lot of going to fetch burritos.

Oh, this, are you Greek as well? No, no, no. He's Albanian. Albanian. Albanian. I'm not proud Albanian. Oh my god. Dangerous folk. That's right. They go to not to be trusted This is like when you find a runt of a little coyote and you can keep it as a pet

But you know if this is more offensive than the I think I'm gonna back away. He's a little runt wolf With his you know, I mean, do you guys fall missing? And I'm like, all right, we can bring him into the house. Is that why you're in a story? Like, I feel like you grew up in a neighborhood that's like exactly like the one you eat. That I'm literally in right now.

I grew up in Greek town in Baltimore. Right, and this is moved to a story because it was familiar. Yeah, I would figure that out. And I, like, I don't want, like, it's, a story is actually not as cheap as you'd think it'd be for being so far from shit. Right. Right. And so I'm kind of like thinking like, all right, all I want to do is buy a place. It's like, you know, it's just like,

I have a little money, I don't understand investing, I don't know shit. And I just, there's that feeling of this is my place that I can set it up the way I want. I don't know if you people that could help you out. Yeah, hell yeah. But I'm money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They know a few people that could help you out. Yeah, hell yeah. I put up a money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They used to be in the resale power wheels. Oh, really? That's an investment opportunity.

I mean, great. Yeah. I got a few ideas for what you could do with money. I can't wait. But no, I, I, I, I, owning a place is, that's the dream. It's a great, if I do that, I'm good. Here, a story.

But that's the thing I was looking around and I really want to say, but it's like, not that you think it'd be cheap as all wing queens, but it's such a nice community and it's cute and shit that it's pretty expensive. So, but yeah, I just like the feeling of it's familiar. People are arguing in Greek. Right. Like, it's just all the shit. And I liked it how it really is diverse in terms of like, you can get any kind of,

there's different stores or this. Oh, that man. I I mean, this is like they're the famous part about the story Yeah, it is the most it rules different play everything is different like yeah, and it's the best I mean is the Greek food good is the best I've had in America right yeah for sure and they say that like I I went to Core food yeah, and like silent you have food there You like Greece is unbelievable I went to Kourphoo. Yeah, and like, you have food there. You do like, grease is unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's the best.

And then you sound like such a douchebag, you get back, and you're like, no, the tomato. And that's, the tomato is right. There's a reason a Greek salad is tomato, onions, green pepper, and cheese. That's it. They didn't even want lettuce. No, they don't have to eat.

Nothing with your waste. Nothing wasting my time. Yeah, all the vegetables taste fucking good. Right, you know, folks, you know I'm not a vegetable sky. You know that about me. Whoa, but a whole video. You're sent all down over there, all this with your fucking theatrics.

With your fucking. This is almost so the window. Not a vegetable guy. What's going on here? But I have a Greek style literally every meal. I'm in Greece. Whenever I go out, it's so good. It's a different fruit.

It's like tomato. And I treat it the way you treat like fries or chicken wings where I'm like, hey, hey, how much tomato did you have? That's how good it is. I treat it so I like it to chicken wings, where I'm like, hey, hey, how much tomato did you have? That's how good it is. I treat it sour, like it's a fucking, a good appetizer, in Greece. It's incredible.

Do you go back a lot? I'm going back this year. I didn't go, I try to go every year. Last year got a little too busy, but I'm going back this year. What will you do there? Is it family or is it? I'll say my family, but dude, I just love the,

I'm straight up a beach guy. I'm such a beach guy. That's my beautiful vacation is on a beach for fucking just wake up like hit the beach. Take us where we're way more well. Yeah you know even though you didn't have as many power wheels. No no I should got stolen immediately. I am such a food on the beach. That's the thing about Grace. Follow wine. Every fucking beach right next to a fucking restaurant with tables in the sand or right above it, and you just walk over in your bathing suit.

Right. And so the oldest guy you've ever seen comes down to a white shirt that is tucked into his fucking jeans and just fucking, will bring you whatever you want. I listen, it is that is like serenity to me. I went to South of France. Oh look at this guy.

That was friends. I took a loan trip. Wow. And I was like, I was getting like, I was really, during the pandemic, I really turned up my podcast, I turned up everything. I went on the road, heavy. Like basically was like, they were like, will you go? And I was like, I'm up everything. I went on the road, heavy, basically was like, they were like, will you go?

And I was like, I'm kind of the perfect candidate. Like, my parents don't believe in it. So they were like, oh wow. That really is different style of juice. Oh yeah, you know what I mean? There's clothes too. Yeah, they were like, they're in that like, oh, what are you not gonna work?

You know, like, it's super seeds. At the end of the day, you gotta run the business. You gotta run the business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, my parents were kind of like, a little right in center. And I am joking, folks. We've gotten, I didn't, when I made that

initial anti-Semitic joke at the very beginning, I didn't think we'd naturally get to five other opportunities. And I wanna add, I skipped a couple that I was thinking. So I just do wanna take this mid show disclaimer. I'm a big fan, okay? I, one satirical, they run everything joke, would have been great.

I wasn't expecting eight more to come up. And I'd like to put them make that. It is a little surprising, Jared's parents didn't believe in COVID. That's all I'm saying. They believed in it. You know, it's like the type of person they were like, we'll get the vaccine, but we're not going to like it. Right, right.

We're going to tell you whoo. You're going to look at it, make a stupid face. Something to complain about. Right. Yeah, I get that. They were like, so I was just good candidate. Where it's like, I'll get tested every time I come back. But like I'll do for the testing.

It's brutal. It's annoying. Every fucking day. Every week. And so I would do quarter capacity, half capacity, all that stuff. And then by the end of that, I was like, so fucking tired and just pushing it.

I was like, I'm gonna go alone. And I'm single. So I was like, I'm gonna go alone with the south of France. Yeah. And I'm gonna go, because it was direct flight Delta. I don't know what you fly. I'm a Delta boy. Delta boys. So I go, it was direct flight Delta I don't know what you fly I'm a Delta boy Delta boys so I go it was direct New York to Nice and I got there went right to the beach the best and just sat out bottle of wine in hand

like a real wine of yes and just like bathing suit I was like I got like a short skimpy bathing suit like I was like let's dress it up. Show those little nuts off. Show it off. You get it real sick. And did not speak to one woman. The whole fucking time. It's impossible. Larry Bird is there. Yeah. Fucking trip.

Well, foreign countries, a whole other element. Different elements. No, they don't want us. They don't. No. There's no need for us to do so. But I would, I think Greece is kind of my next. You got to go.

But that is the truth about Greece too. It's like, it is nice. It's just, it's a weird single place. Oh, you're not gonna talk to a whore. Cause you're just there for the serenity, the right, the good vibes, the like, just chilling out. But like, it's a great place if you're in a relationship. No better place. Oh my god

Imagine what we just described with someone you love right? It's incredible. It's so nice. I start crying I know I know we both we both need a break. Are you seeing anyone? No, I'm just been too busy too busy Yeah, do you want a day? What are you are you on there? What happened you want? Dude, I'm not really on the apps I just all this what do you think of this? I don't know he'll find love someday Eldis like Elvis with a deep yeah, yeah, no, I'm just not you're good for Eldis and you're married No, I just got engaged actually

No, I just got engaged actually. Yeah, congratulations. Yeah, huge, huge hand for me. Yeah, I did. And do, does she get along, or he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get along with she. Yeah, she actually, yeah, no, she's great. She's great.

No, she's great. She's been great. She can hang with anyone. We've talked about it on the show before, but there was a small period where she had to, basically step up for Eldis and move into his room here because we were all roommates and so she was such a trooper because she lived with me, our other buddy and a comic who just, and I don't need, I don't need even who was here.

I can't believe you two are central casting for two men, a woman wouldn't want to end this. I'm doing it. But the end of it's your show. It's your two room, it would be actually like a funny scene in a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll move in. Who am I going in with?

And then they bring you to I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like me and her lived in this room. And there was like five people living in this three bedroom of porcelain. Come on, it was fucking brilliant. How many years ago? This was pretty brutal. This was what four, five years ago. This is before the fame, before the women. Oh, yeah. Before the, you know, the studio. Yeah.

Yeah. This was the era of like, you know, someone's living in a prison cell and delivering the room. Yeah. We had to fucking shift. Like you could not have two people fucking in this apartment. Oh, we just back from a date early could not have two people fucking in this apartment Oh, we're just back from a date early at like 10 30 with some woman who's like, oh, this is where I'm about to This TV you know eating Ben and Jerry's pines. I mean, we have $80 worth of Chinese food And we're like, oh, hey, and this woman like looks her soul and she's like, I have to go get a fuck. Write three feet away from these guys.

You know, a windowless room. A decision I wasn't really excited about in the first place. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck. He's fine enough. I'm sure it's like, at least he'll have a comfy apartment. You guys, again, central casting. Dude, what do you want to see?

Yeah. Dude, shout out to, we won't put them on blast But our old roommate by the end of it dude at first it was like I used to live in that little now It's our dining room, but it used to be a you know fake room Literally, I had to be like can everyone leave so I can have sex because you're in the living room You're literally like it's everybody. It's like you're the director of a like a like a like a movie like yeah I'm gonna need everyone clear out

And and so he did by the end of it this fucking guy elders would be making breakfast and he's just By the end some girls like Fucking drinking coffee. And literally right next to the kitchen, it's fucking hilarious. It does show just like, if she's like, if this is it, if she's whooping, he's. Oh, he had a couple women down on their luck by the end of it.

I remember, God, I don't want to get blow up there. I mean, these women were just like hilarious. It's like literally just a woman He met on a plane one time who lived this lady lived It's funny because his apartment was the better one he went over there and she lived in a studio with another woman And they fucked and stood there while she was getting so this was actually the more private option, right? This is when this is the good option. You are not My mom I remember not to bring it about my mom That room this story reminds me your mom too for some reason

This subject matter for whatever reason. I bet you, like my mom's understanding of New York state, like just like you said, like a story is kind of expensive too. Yeah, yeah. You go, you're never having it all in New York. No, no, no. Like that's this idea of like, if you can make it here, making it here is just like making a ton of like,

really big compromises. Yeah. Where you just get used to living squalorish existence. Absolutely. Because you're like, you know, that woman's nice woman. She lived with it in roommate in a studio. You go, not my dream scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then she comes, here she goes, this is what it is. Like my mom, she would be like, I'll be like, okay, I'm moving to the West Village and she would go, is there a parking spot for you? Yeah. Get out of here. Just, we have a- Oh my, Matt Damon, right.

We don't live in the same reality. We live two different parallel universes. Yeah, you have to have like 20 million dollars. Right. Minimum to Lynn. And just what a regular good life is. Right. Anywhere else.

I went to Kansas City and there was like a little coffee shop that looked like this like Hansel and Gretel Hut. I walked there every day. I just loved this little coffee shop. And people would pull up and like Lexus's Mercedes, two kids in the back. You know, they're dressed nice. I heard this guy with his two kids he's going,

we're gonna go to the boat today. Just chill out. You have your scone. And I was like, they're not making go- billion dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they're not making 500 grand. They're not doing this much better than I am doing.

You know what I got? Sure, I got to do what. They just, I think about that too. They're living in my place. I know, I know. Would you ever go anywhere else? There's no Greek town anywhere else. I've been thinking about it.

I don't think so, man. I just do love me. Like I've really been considering it because I'm like, I've been thinking about it. I don't think so, man. I just do love me. Like, I've really been considering it because I'm like, I've been on the road so much this year that I'm barely here. I'm the same way. I'm on the road all the time. And I'm like, well, what the fuck am I doing here?

But I don't know. At the end of the, I just can't pull the trigger. I feel good. Like, it is a weird lifestyle to lay. Like, you know, I walk around my apartment. I have like seven coffee shops. When I'm here for a week, I hit all seven every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not like a normal life. But do you want to have a family? At some point, but I'm not too pressed about it. If it happens, it happens. I'd see I want to have a family, and then I'm like, I do have this moment where I'm like, I'm not gonna have city kids. I don't even want, I don't want to live

horrifically just to have a kid here. It feels illegal. Like, when children in Manhattan, I'm like the police should arrest their parents. Absolutely. Like, children should be busted into go-to museums. Right.

And they should be out by 2 p.m. Like, Manhattan and the, like, you talk to your friends. I like that you care about the, the, the, the, the culture. There's culture, there's stuff. Kids kids must get their culture but there's a fuck out there's a late lunch curfew he do not need to be here when happy hour start your children have to be out here you know right that's my so I know what you mean in terms of like, yeah, like your kid being, like our friends

who like are from Manhattan, they're weird people. Weird people. Weird people. The saw, you know, someone like Queens. Well that's, some of the other day was like, you know, 15 of them, you know, 15 of Manhattan is like a 30 year old. Yeah, they've done cocaine. They've got, they've had anal sex.

Right. Like, they're like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh yeah, these rich kids did. Well, the one thing I always reference when it comes to city kids is like, if you didn't struggle to get to the movies before you had a license,

right, right, right. Like that was the ultimate suburban struggle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, how do we get there? We gotta get to a movie and we gotta get there on time. And I gotta bother my mom. I always think about, well, I don't want my kid to know what ramen is until they're 20. You know what I mean?

Really? Like, douche food? Like, yeah. And you know what I mean that for like Asian people, you more mean it like, I don't want like, like, white guy knowing what ramen is. I just thought ramen was a 99 cent packet. Right, I didn't know it was a-

And then my friend literally one time was like, you wanna go get ramen and I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? We're gonna go to a restaurant for a fucking, like I literally had no concept that it was based on something. Did you have you had an restaurant? Yeah, I love it now. It's unbelievable.

I love it now, I'm a huge ramen guy, but I just, the idea that a child would have real ramen. Like I see, I go to Brooklyn and I see a seven-year-old using chopsticks, a white seven-year-old, using chopsticks perfectly, and I'm like, this kid's parents have shown him too much. He's perfectly doing the chopsticks and the spoon at the same time.

He's better at him than I am. He's like, oh my God, this guy. What the fuck is this? He's the one. Yeah, yeah, he's new. But I don't know, I definitely know what you mean by that. But I could also see a life, I could see my life going down the path of like,

I'm perfectly suited to be an uncle. That's a very involved uncle. You know what I mean? That's the other reason I think about New York is it's like, East Coast, my brother's never gonna, my brother's never gonna leave Baltimore, the Baltimore area, one of them anyway for sure. So it's like, he's probably gonna have kids.

I wanna be around, you know what I mean? And it's like, I could see, and if I could see myself just being in a, you know, I wanna get married at some point. And we could be that couple that doesn't have kids that's like, you know, you're cool. You're cool uncle from the city that, you know, they come in for a weekend.

You know what they should do with Manhattan, with New York, is turn it into Uncle Island. Uncle Island, dude. And it's only... Uncle Motherfucking Island. You have everyone you're only allowed to live in Manhattan. If you want to be an uncle or an aunt, whatever. So you just...

Everyone's here fucking. Yeah. Everyone is crazy. Everyone's on the pill. Yeah. Tested before. So you just everyone's here fucking yeah, everyone is Everyone's on the pill Jacks once a week I love that and it's uncle on island Everyone's busting inside And then like we go like we were good uncles and aunts. We are the best. Here on the island, there's only toy stores

for your needs to nephews. You could send out toys. The two o'clock curfew, you gotta have your kid out. Get him out. Yeah, yeah. And then night, nightfall, the aunts and uncles will play. Yeah, Bob Seager.

Or we have, I'm not about this, there's like night moves. There's a week every season where it that's nephew niece week, right? Everyone comes to visit Yeah I think we gotta we to run for mayor. I love the co-mayorship of Uncle Island. We're renaming Manhattan, Uncle Island. Uncle Island.

All right, well, we should, now that our brains are really finally fired. We got an idea, Mo. It's time to hit these motherfuggers with some advice elders. Why don't you pull up some questions here? Yeah, the podcast you stole. Yeah. Why don't we transition over to Jared's? Yeah, the podcast you stole. Yeah.

Why don't we transition over to Jared's podcast now? Let's do my show. Yeah. Uh, we'll have a play. Hi, Fadie. Is it more dudes? I'm more dudes, but we have, you know, we got a nice speech. I'm reaching out to the person.

We're not batting with your numbers for sure. Listen, different hours. Hi, Fabi. I'm reaching out with a question related to housing. Basically, I just moved into a new place. It's a group house. It's below my means because I was thinking of quitting my job at the time that I was moving.

And pretty much whatever job I have next, I'm going to be making plus money. So I wanted to feel unencumbered financially to quit my job, right? So that's my move into this fucking disgusting place with three roommates who are kind of feral. I would say like fish skin and the sink overnight one of them literally like I was at town so I came back and the girl who had a cup of the cat was in here but there was literally like a cat in she like running around like screaming um cats and fish are just a Garfield yeah one of my other roommates is just always pissed off on Mondays.

He won't let anyone have any of his lasagna, even though he makes a big tin, and he can't finish it. Basically, I'm thinking of trying to ask the landlord if he'll even let me, they'll be like, break the lease, but at the very least, I think I could have a sub letter because I'm thinking of sent the lease. But I do moving out, I be living somewhere slightly above my means. So I would feel kind of like I need to stay at my job for the duration of that lease.

Anyways, basically, I'm just asking if you think, you know, I need to just tough it out. I like how I think it is possible that I could like, eat the people who are living with how to not be disgusting, I've been keeping a little list of like, helpful tips, like, you know, maybe don't need like, stitches in the thing overnight, maybe like, wrap up like your make a product for free for them away. Like that's not big. I don't know. Part of me is like, you just kind of, you know, kind of tough it out because ultimately the find out for freedom to leave your job is the most important thing. But it is disgusting here. So if you only thought what's wrong with the dump. Yeah, absolutely. It is disgusting here. It was captured everywhere.

My roommates. Would you say anything important at the end of this? No, no, it's okay. I don't think so. Thanks, man. A lot of face in you man. Yeah, I know that was in that. My roommates, whatever. Fuck you, all this. You're gonna be coming up. She could have spoken up a little. She could, and we usually have the transcription, but we did it a different way,

because we thought we might have been remote this week. But yeah, so this is a classic dilemma here. So give me, let's run through it. Let's run through it. So she goes in and she basically signs up for this apartment because it's less money and she can live her dreams. She wants, yeah, she wants to leave her job.

So she was like, I gotta get a place that's a little cheaper, but now all the roommates are fucking disgusting and it's really affecting our quality of life. And so she's like, I could probably get a sub lease and get, but then she's like, I don't wanna get a place. It's too expensive because then I'm locked into my job. Also moving is expensive too.

Like I don't think moving is really an option. You've already moved once. That cost you some, there was cost in that. Now you're gonna have again. There are costs, but at the same time, I feel like early 20s moving around. It's like you have a fucking, you have three bags. You have any furniture, you're moving into this

disgusting group house. Like remember when you were in that fucking horrible place in Bushwick, we got all your shit in my car, didn't we? Or was that, didn't we, who did we move in my car? I don't think that was me, but I did basically do that with that move like. Yeah, you didn't have a buddy, like I had three bags I closed.

I packed them all in an hour before. I told my buddy to come by with his car. I just put a bunch of shit in trash bags and pulled up here and probably never took them out of the bags the whole time I lived there. But I guess if you're moving into one room in a three bedroom, you're not coming with your couchches kitchen supplies.

Yeah, maybe they can have the Billy Ikea bookshelf that you fucking built. Maybe just leave that there and spend $70 for another one. I think though in general, this question of like having a place below your means so that you can tough it out, there's a couple things. Just philosophically, I think you need to live it as shitty a place as you can tough it out. There's a couple things, just philosophically. I think you need to live in a shitty a place

as you can handle, but not one that effectively ruins your life in mental health. Well, that's a thing though, considering her message, she comes in with the priority is the job. I do think your job is... And we don't know by the way what the job is and what she's trying to pursue either. We don't know, but the dream, the dream is easier at a young age when she can do this,

not as easy as she gets older. So like, again, toughing it out, there's levels of it I agree with you. Like, but like, let's know that you do this today, so you don't have to do this tomorrow. She can't go to stay in her job another year that doesn't allow her to pursue the dream that she wants to pursue,

because she's now putting it off another year. You're in your mind, and it's gonna be harder a year for now, because then you're gonna be used to dinners out and a nicer place. Now is the time to do these things. For sure. And I think there's a, I think there's something to trying with these people,

but also like, I don't know, man. Teaching someone out of fucking, you're not gonna change another 22 year old. Well, I don't think you can, you can't go on the attack. You can't make it personal. The fish and the fish and the sink,

the cat running around and heat. Those are two examples that you can't make it personal. The fish and the sink, the cat running around in heat, those are two examples that you can't come out at. You have to make it a mathematical discussion, not an emotional attack. That's the most important thing here. Because if you go in there and you go, you're fucking cat, just humping my leg, get it at the fuck out of here.

And we have rules changed, so they're gonna go fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you, the cat pussy fuck you. Yeah, yeah, fuck you. The cat pussy juice stays. Right, right. It becomes as emotional like the mask situation. It wasn't people they want to put a mask. They don't want to be told to put on the mask.

So you have to adjust. We have to play the art of war here. Right, right, right. To me, if she goes to them and says, Hey, I'm ready to move in. I'm here. Every place I've ever lived at, we've had just the 10 rules.

Just 10. Let's negotiate. What are our 10? Yeah. And if you make it about these 10 rules that you didn't have before, for the first time, you make it up. You go, we're gonna, I've done this at every apartment.

This is my, this is kind of my grift right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And make it, this is the effort I'm asking you to make. It is, I got these 10 rules wherever I live and we lived by them. Let's come up together. Now you make it, we're doing it together. Yeah.

Let's decide as a group. We'll sign at the bottom, a little contract. What are the 10 rules that we abide by? And then one of the rules is the sink is never full before bed. Dude, as the shittiest roommate in every house I've ever been in, I would have signed that with a smile on my face. And then the literally four days in, I'd be like, I'll get it before she gets out. I'm going to leave this thing, but I'm going to get it in like 20 minutes this episode

of American dad is heating up. I got to see what Rogers up to. Right. I don't want to watch the day like. Maybe like find out he's an alien. Yeah. Yeah. So I know, in theory, I know what you're saying.

Here's what it does though. Yeah. You're doing more now than you would have done without the list. But not enough for her. I'm saying she's at fish in the sink. Yeah, okay. It's as bad as it ever. Can we get it a little more livable? Right, and we don't need them coming back with, we'll fuck you.

We need them trying even an ounce. So I'm saying, well, you just said right now like I'll get to it before she wakes up What I'm saying is that doesn't last sure within two weeks. I'm back to normal right like I know I just so I know you're saying and I think this is like The most important thing or is this new life? Well, so okay,, let's talk about this, right? Because there is a difference between cheap and disgusting, okay? Like she, just, if she had three people that were like her in that shitty apartment, she'd be fine, right? So, yeah, but that's not the issue. But what I'm saying is like, did she, did she, she'd done her, her due diligence in terms of like, you can live in a shitty place, but she's found out that her biggest problem,

it sounds like it's cleanliness, right? And not amenities, right? So I guess when I hear this, because I've lived in places that drive me crazy, and it just fucked my mental health up so bad that I wasn't pursuing my dream. So if she's living in a shitty place and she's depressed all the time and she's not really pursuing her dream anyway, I guess my thing is like no, from the perspective of a shitty

roommate myself, you're not going to do that. If some bitch was like, hey, I'm trying to quit my job at Deloitte to work on my poetry. Can you do the dishes more? I'd be like quit my job at Deloitte to work on my poetry. Can you do the dishes more? I'd be like suck my dick. You knew what you signed up for, bitch. You saw what we were like. It cost $400 a month. You saw what we're like.

That's how I would respond, right? Well, it is interesting that she's like, it's either this apartment. Me and my 20s anyway, right? Fair. No, I like it. With you. Yeah. But it isn't, she's described this as such a vacuous thing.

It's not like, she's like, it's either, I live in this place or I go live in the fine. Right. A fucking house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do agree, like if you, like, I don't understand why she can't look for another place in sublet that might take time, but at least it's like somewhere that's not here.

And now you're a better buyer. It's like the first time I looked at apartments in New York. I went in the apartment, I go, this is good. And then I got in the apartment, signed the lease, got in there, shower pressure was fucking dogs. Right, right, right. So now my next apartment, I went to the,

and now every time I look at apartment, I go in first move. Yeah. Yeah, open that shower. I go see that move. Yeah. Yeah, open that shower. I go see that pressure. So, yo, she's a better buyer now just for, now she's seen what a disgusting is. Yes, yes.

So now she should take notes on all her roommates. Yeah. And then when you go look at the next place, that's dog shit cheap. Yeah. You're like, well, they have fish bones. And the same too. Should have noticed that the first time.

Let's go look at the next. We'll bring up, you're 10 rules or something. You can bring up at a disc. Also, I don't know where she is, but DC is such a fucked up place where they have, you have to basically interview to get into a group house

and you have to discuss cleanliness and shit like that. That's Craigslist here. roommates. I guess I've interview a roommate. I guess I've been very lucky that I lived with literally my best friends and they just kept their lives kept improving and they got moved in with like significant others. And I'm like, I'll hold down the pad. I'll hold down the fuck.

You can come here to get high and watch you know kick, kickboxer with Jean-Claude Van Dam, which we probably, which is on the list for this weekend, how about this? Here's another solution. Yeah. Okay. And this is a money play. I just had a cleaning woman come to my apartment from Handi. It costs 200 bucks, but she's got three roommates.

So let's create a fund where we put towards 20 bucks a week, each of us towards the cleaning woman fund. And now you go on handy, it's getting paid for. It can only get so bad from cleaning. Now you get back to zero every week. Well, that's interesting actually, because that's a great point, because when, so this apartment

has seen so many different iterations. But there was a point where Elderson moved out or other original roommates were all moving out. And I was gonna get a buddy, an old college roommate who were, we know one of my best friends, but he had lived with me in my 20s.

And he was like, I cannot live with you if you don't pick up after yourself. And I was like, I will buy a cleaning lady. Right, I was like, here's our, here's our compromise. Twice a month, like I will, I will be a piece of shit. But twice a month, I will do this. Right, so that's, you know what I mean?

So yeah, that's a nice potential solution here. Right, instead of, you know, and if it's, when you split it amongst three people, it's not that bad. No. There's all these services now I use handy. I mean, I had the woman she messaged me yesterday. I can use what it's when you split it amongst three people, it's not that bad. There's all these services now. I use handy. I mean, I had the woman she messaged me yesterday.

I can deem it what it's called. Oh, handy. I knew you were in love with it. I knew you were in love with it. Come on, guys. What are we doing? She literally, I wrote, I texted her yesterday. I posted it.

Yeah. And it's so funny, because like my bathroom, like I don't do it every now, I don't do it a lot. Yeah. Because I'm like, it's just me, I live in a alone. Yeah. I, the woman message me after she was done, there's like an app for it.

She wrote, sorry, I tried the best I can. The bathroom was very difficult. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, How much of a pig am I I bet you have some coarse pubes? Oh, yeah I may have some thick pubes judging off the eyebrows Think what those pubes are like can't get them off the guy you're gonna Tweezer yeah, Tweezer mom Yeah, these pubes ain't There's baddest her new roommate. Yeah, fuckin' chillin'. So, yeah, I mean, I-

You might be a good solution for her though. Yeah, that's a nice, but it's also like, I do think in general, my advice to you would be, you're right in terms of these are the years to do, to live like the, if it's ever it's now, and you can't put me back in that fucking box with you and all three other people in here no chance but when I was 25 and I was like I just moved to the city I have no money I'm driven it's also like how and but okay here's the other thing I'll say she's talking about this in kind of nebulous terms about I want to leave my job to pursue something and it's like

What are you talking about you need a real plan, right? Yeah, it's kind of back to the thing you're talking about with you and your brother There's too many dreams and this apartment. You can't just be a dreaming with no Don't confuse hope for a plan exactly because right now because's having, if she was in the middle of her thing and seeing a little progress, right? Like, when I lived in Squalor, I was still like, oh, I'm getting to open for this person. I just got past at this club.

Right, Megan, the money is coming in a little bit. And I'm always out, cause I'm always working on stand-up. And I'm feeling progress. She hasn't started attacking her thing. So you don't have one of the best solves when you live in bullshit, cause you're trying to afford a dream,

is the dream, is doing the same. So if you're just kind of planning to do it and you haven't started it, I would be motivated. My suggestion, just my read on the situation is like, get a set up that is a little more livable that is bare bones, but like, doesn't make you depressed and crazy.

But, and then, been in the meantime, while you're doing all this, figure out exactly when you wanna leave your job, figure out exactly how much money you'll need, because you might be living under your means too low, and it's affecting your mental health where it's like you can maybe afford a little something. You got to actually figure out like I literally was like I can afford. This is a big thing for $500 a month. No you're right. This is a big

thing for like what you know comics we don't really talk about it this way but like we are professionals that going after our dreams. Yeah. The minute you math it out it gets a little bit more consumable. Yeah. You know and math it out, it gets a little bit more consumable. Yeah. You know, and what you're saying is totally right, like, where you go, okay, I need this nut a month. Yes. Yes.

Once you know that, like, I, you know, I've, anytime I've been asked to advice on comedy, I'm like, get a job that makes comedy work. Yeah. You know, make it so you'd money, you don't make decisions based on money. Right. So if it's like a nanny and gig and you go from, like a nanny and gig from 10 to 6, there you go. You did it. decisions based on that right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right The box is gonna go I'm heading towards you know mattress mattress. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Matches town USA. We're coming right. There's anything now. There's none and so to your point before there's nothing harder than Sitting in first class when you've already flown private I think there's a couple harder things

Don't to power will stop okay You gotta You ain't but I've been for the point of like how about how about a Middle economy after you flew first class My worst nightmare Come for plus ain't no comfort plus this. The thing is, have you flown private? I have.

You have. You know, and I ain't not like private. It does feel strange. Yeah, I shout out to kids superfluous out to Paris and the Puma jet. I saw those pictures. Yeah, it was crazy. It does feel crazy.

I'm happily back in first class But if I had to go but if I don't know but you know this ain't the best. Yeah, yeah, absolutely You know, and that's the same with her like listen go do your fucking first-class shit now You'll get to fucking private later. Yeah, you don't want to be your private now You're at this job where you're making money and you haven't even pursued your dream yet It's gonna be tough to go. Don't get locked into this. No.

So yeah, I think, like, make a plan for the dream, math it out, know exactly what you need. Maybe this is exact, maybe you have to live here because the budget, that's what it means. You just got to do it, maybe get the cleaning lady, but I would suggest making a plan and figuring out, and yes, like you said, she's a better buyer. If you have to make the move, you know a little bit about what you can stomach around. You can find new discuss things that work for you. And you're still, right, right, right, right.

And you're still the job, right? So you have a little, you still haven't made the leap. So she has to make the leap. You gotta make the leap. You gotta make the leap, because then it's right and not you're right. It's too much of a, she's made it into Everest. Yeah, when it might just be,

the first step might just be like a little hill. Yeah, and look, honestly, the first steps of my comedy started when I had a solid day job, right? Like I worked, actually the times I spent, I got the best of comedy was probably, there was a year where I was a paralegal that did nothing, but I had a, I was at work, it's fucking 8 a.m. and I did open mics from like six to fucking, you know, 10.

But that's the thing. And so you might, she might not even need to leave the job yet, right? Right, right. She doesn't even know. You need a real, you need, it sounds like you didn't really plan it out, you haven't started it,

and you went, you're like, I should live in a sewer to save money. And you might not need to live in the sewer. You might be able to live, you know, you might be able to live in a fucking tent, right? You know what I mean? Like, so I would just figure that out for yourself and then plan accordingly.

But good luck little buddy, we're rooting for you. Go you. Give us another one L.D. Hey, Stabby. Love the show, man, and all the content you've got out. So I'm calling in the day to get some day nervous. So I'm 27 years old and I live in Indianapolis, Indiana. Now what's been making dating difficult for me is the fact that i don't want to have any other things like that i can kind of see you get

you know who wants to know that all that stuff public that's not the case and i can't just go up to women and be like pay the one kids right off the bat and a convocates that's obviously weird so my dilemma is it's hard for me to get emotionally involved, they're kind of getting invested, not really knowing if they want to have kids or if they don't, you know. So for me, that's kind of a roadblock because it's like, if they don't like kids, okay,

cool, I can get emotionally invested in them, I can get, you know, I can keep pursuing things, but if they want to have kids, and I find that out like three months in, then it's kind of like, well shit, all that time was wasted and it's kind of like that's the end of it. So, I'm not really knowing how to go about this and I'm probably just overthink it all, but how should I pursue conversations and just other things in public with women when I don't really know where they're kind of wanting to take that. Anyways, thanks, stop and appreciate all the content again, and please come to Indianapolis sometime soon.

Mm-hmm. Bye-bye. Great restaurants in Indianapolis. Really? Is a place called Milktost. That's okay. It's fucking unreal in the blue bell or something. Oh, fuck.

You gotta look this up. I met a co-owner. It's mad at to the fucking, you know what? Maybe we will tour in Indianapolis. Dude, the best restaurant. I have one of the best restaurants. Really I because they have like a scene it's cheaper All for places. You're seeing blue something milk toast milk tooth milk tooth. That's a great breakfast That's a great fucking breakfast love that and then the other place is

Blue something look up blue Restaurant blue right blue beard blue beard Blue something, look up blue, something restaurant. Blue beer. Blue beard. And my brother, someone from the Bears, sent us there. Nice, dude. And that place, it looks awesome.

And then it's great. And the guy who owns it, he is, he was the tour manager for Jimmy Buffett. Get the fuck outta here. He was sitting next to my brother and I. You're speaking L, this is language right now. We got a parent head producing the show. Oh dude, this guy was awesome. They came to my show. Yeah, that's why I came to my brother and I speak in L. This is language right now. We got a parent head producing the show Yeah, this guy was bossing I came to my show. Yeah My show that night he's the tour and he's like bought up like from his Jimmy Buffett

Money I guess he bought up like this whole section of Indianapolis and he's like made it into this really cool That's a theater there that he rush and they're trying to turn it into like a thing. Huh. But the food is inventive. It's great. I just a great dining experience. That's awesome. I love that. Not to get us on plug city. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. Shout out to Bluebeard. Yeah, they were great. Um, I love this guy's call because if you're dating an Indianapolis, you have to treat not wanting to have kids the way you have to treat having kids here. It's like, how early how early in the year? Apple is do I have to tell her I don't want kids? I said he's got a seven year old at home.

Um, this is so fucking funny because this really is not that I mean it's such a such a funny problem to have. He's making it into more than it has to do so much more and you don't wait three months. No, three months. No three months It's crazy. Yeah, he is Look he's this is again We've had this conversation earlier the apps of kind of like they're made for nerd losers Yeah, so like he's calling because he's like on the apps. It's easy. Yeah

Yeah, I just put it on my profile. No questions asked no no interaction with you Yeah, yeah, yeah, he goes on the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to see the menu and he can see women, because there are women who don't want kids. He is not a crazy winner. You can filter for don't want kids. Right, so now he only looks at women who don't want kids. He's never felt discomfort. Hey, to this guy,

and also here's something that's really good for him. Yes. He does want a relationship. Right. The way he wrote in was in a way he's not looking to use this to fuck, which a lot of men do. They go all way three months.

Oh, I don't want kids. Oops, I guess we're broken up. Get out of jail free card. Right, you get out of here. Oh, we can't get over this one thing. It's like a bullshit tactic. This guy really genuinely seems like he's looking to get, he said emotionally invested. I don't want to get too far.

This is a first day conversation to me. I don't know if it's first day This is a first date conversation to me. I don't know if it's first date. Why not? Kids first date. Where are your kids? I actually want to let you know, because if you don't want to have kids,

you have to admit that you are outside of the norms of public. I know you said like with New York, that's a different thing. I guess so, yeah. But he is an Indianapolis. He has to realize, he's a little different than most. He has to let them know, hey, I just wanna let you know, like I've made this decision for myself.

It's not a judgment on someone who wants kids, but this is a decision I've made no matter who the partner is. And I wanna make sure you know that first date. I don't think it's a waste of time to go on a first date with someone who doesn't want kids, because maybe there is a sexual compatibility and asex and they move on, their friends with benefits are one ever. But first date, hey, it's really great meeting you.

What are your feelings on kids? That's how you say it. First, I'm saying. First seems a little, yeah, I think you don't have to. Okay, interesting. I think if you don't, and you're in an area where people genuinely want kids, hey, what are your feelings on kids?

And again, this isn't first sentence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, we're having a good day, we're having a conversation. I do like them. Hey, you know, cause they want an emotional connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is we're having a good day, we're having a conversation. I do like them. Hey, you know, cause they want an emotional connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love, yeah, he's got a treat, like I say, yes,

he treat it like herpes. Well, before you fuck, you're like, hey, I'm not gonna bust in you and I never will because I don't want kids. You're right in there, you're, hey, just so you know. Just so you know, back and go grab a condom if you want Yeah, but I do I think I think it's like I do think it's a first-day thing I think it's like first to me seems a little But I guess you're also right. It's Indian Apple and he's 20 but he's 27

Yeah, nobody he's in he says an emotional connection and here's the other is I got a pushback because he goes He definitely does not you know you're a kid so it's not like he's flimsy on right right right It would be a third day. It would be later in the conversation if you was like, yeah, it depends on the person I see he has made the decision. Yeah, it is over for him no matter now He might need to rethink that after hearing us maybe your associate hear us. And he goes, well, it's not that. Then it's like, okay, then maybe you hold off on this. Maybe you're not. It's not your religion. Sounds like it's his religion. Okay. That's, I guess, I guess I am somewhere in between. He's talking about three months in a week. No, that's, I mean, that's crazy. Way too late. But I think it is the kind of,

here's where I would put it. in the like when we're making the jump from like something casual to a real relationship. I think it's got to be before you have sex. Oh wow. I think it's I don't think it's fair. Again, I'm saying this as a person who has said like an 1800's Jared over here. Well, you must let the lady know. You don't want to fire an air. I am not.

So this is your advice to give them to tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's the most blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And who had sex without giving every bit of information that they want for the future. Yes, yes. You know, I'd like to, you know, the old thing that guys do. And I'm saying, I'm not even saying this as like a,

you know, I'm not telling them anything. You go, I, you to, you know, the old thing that guys do. And I'm saying, I'm not even saying this as like a, you know, I'm not telling them anything. You go, I, you know, when someone says, are you looking for a relationship? Yeah, with the right person. Is what people genuinely say. And I genuinely feel that way. I would love a relationship with the right person. And then you go, oh, we've had, I don't know,

you ran over, you know, three people on the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you go. Once you bust, that clarity comes in very beautifully. But I do think that you're on the limitless pill for the two minutes after you bust. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's come filled right, calling us. Come filled brain. I don't want kids. Yeah, right, right. So he knows, it would be disingenuous.

But I guess my only issue with that is like, it's like, what have you said that and the girls like, what the fuck, like, why are we talking about kids? Like in a way where it's like, now we're assuming, like it'd be one thing if you went on a date with a woman, he knew didn't want kids, or wanted kids, right? But it's like to bring up that I don't want kids. That's what you know of that.

It feels so weird and like, like you're talking about, I don't know if I want a destination wedding or to be married in my hometown. It just feels like a weirdly presumptuous thing. This bitch doesn't know that she wants kids with you. That's why I feel like it has to be married in my hometown. It just feels like a weirdly presumptuous thing. This bitch doesn't know that she wants kids with you. No, I don't know. That's why I feel like it has to be a little chemistry.

There has to be a little chemistry, I don't know. But you just said something very different than what he said. Okay. What you just said is, she doesn't know if she wants kids with you, which is right. You're right. He's saying, I don't want kids at all,

no matter who the person is. This is not personal to her. This isn't about them fucking. This is about him going, again it's all in how you serve the food. You go sure. It's not what you have kids with me. It's how do you feel about having children? What's your what's your perspective? They might say it's gonna be with the right person. They might be flimsy flappy whatever they are. He is writing here and he is calling here specifically with one, he has never said I don't know. He knows. Sure. And and and it's why he's calling it. Okay, so I guess basically where it's like it is the jet, I will say this, it's like the gentlemanly

move because he could very possibly talk himself out of pussy by being like, hey, by the way, I don't want kids. And the girls like, you're being presumptuous. This is weird, I don't even wanna fuck you. You know what, let's forget it. And so he basically, he risks that, but he might not waste another woman's time. If, so that's the more cautious approach.

I guess I just don't, I guess I don't, my brain is devalued sex where it's like, who cares if you fuck someone? It's like, to me, it's like, do we have any chemistry? Do we have sexual chemistry? Could we have a future? Well, that's kind of been the way I look at things, but in that, but in that,

but if you want to bump a future over sex, then yes. Well, when he says emotional connection, I don't wanna get too far. He's more about his own time. That's fair. I understand. Okay, agree, that's the Pemdoz when it comes, you're gonna come to random date that I'd love to fuck

and we'll see what happens. Yes, yes, yes. He is coming in his Pemdoz, there's totally different than that. That's fair, that's fair. I'm looking for an emotional connection. Yeah, I think it'll be happier that way. I think you're right.

No, no, okay, I'm glad we talked this out. We really put this through its paces. And we got to it, but check out Blackbeard's restaurant when you're in theapolis. I think Bluebeard, sorry, sorry. No, check it out. I said the bar, I would say it was one of the better meals I've had this whole year.

I'm trying to go to go do that sounds awesome Let's do one more you got time for one more my friend. Let's do one more. I gotta go. Oh, yes Yes, I'm gonna be think 45 minutes to an hour probably an hour. I got to so I'm good Uber or check out the freaking all your Uber right now Yeah, we'll pot until Uber gets here right now. Yeah, we'll pot until Uber gets here. Like I lose you guys. Yeah, we don't give a fuck. My show up. The last the last episode, fucking, the first three minutes was just eldest is asked as he was fixing my mind. That's the kind of show we run around here.

The eldest is asked episode. Hey, he held coming out of you with a minute. Call Uber right now. Leave if he gets here before. I got a new black. I got 10 minutes. Oh true. I do love that. Hit us with the Elvis. I'm a friend. He's a male.

We built a pretty big friend group around us. We've always kind of questioned this guy's sexuality. It doesn't really go on any date. I've never really seen him with his girl. But you know, like he'll tell a story about how you all just know. He'll tell a little bit of no for some chick when obviously none of us were around. So, anyways, it came out recently that he fucked a guy and we can confirm that seeing the red repeats everything.

So, you know, he is a closeted gay man, but the whole friend group now knows. And he's definitely closeted for reasons, like, you know, he has a very conservative family that probably you don't want to know. But my question is, is how do you handle this? Do we let him know that we know? Do we let him tell us what we don't want to know but my question is is how do you handle this do we let him know that we know do we let him tell us Wait what we don't want is just you know him to try to come up with some story about how he you know hooked up with Chick or something and how do they know I thought he said his friend told him or is he

He didn't specify but they had some kind of proof he also said they have the red receipts and everything. I don't know if that's literal So anyway, so he said anyways, they've figured it out. He didn't call. I see they like somehow and one way or another Oh, that's they find out that he's had sex with I don't like that. I don't like Snooping behind your friends back. That's kind of weird But I'm let's let's finish there's a there's a nice way to look at it that like they just found out by sure They found out and then there's the other way Like I think he's gay. Let's go look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hope is not let's dig through his trash and look for shit covered condoms Real expedition

Let's see is this guy have any douche hasn't a douchey expedition. We got to make sure we have a little... Let's see, is this guy have any douche... Is he been douching? You're looking for... Popper. It's a literal douchey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, this guy doesn't have a VCR? It was, he's doing with this.

All right, I was finishing it up for us. What was that pretty much? And, you know, just make himself look stupid, not knowing that we all know about... Right, not knowing where you're know about right not like we're actually so let me know what you do in the situation appreciate it uh...

or you're not but we're gonna have to look like we have to lie to our friend and let's hope to me if there were about lying to their friend in the face i'm assuming that they found out that he's gay via nicer ways than trying to find out i don't know i don't know this guy said look he's young he sounds ways than trying to find out. I don't know.

I don't know. This guy said, look, he's young. He sounds like kind of a dumbass. And also, we've all been there too. I'm not trying to put him on blast. I remember, I mean, we grew up in a much more homophobic time. Let's not forget Barack Obama Hillary Clinton ran against gay marriage both in 08. So here, or was that a way?

I did not expect an hour and a half and you get like these political I'm just saying like talked about this stuff on the beat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not forget. Yeah, and let's not let's not forget who installed Obama's president after Russia's Don't quit on me now Jared I said ten times That was my limit I took a risk I'm out of here we're making a list

Anyway, yeah, I mean, look, I remember us having almost the exact same conversations where it's like, we know this guy's gay. You know, and like doing kind of shitty, like, I think it's possible they did, they did snoop around and did fuck his privacy up and did something kind of shitty and look through his phone and like, that's the vibe I'm getting. In the way a friend would maybe, I guess, in the way you go, is he? And then you're like, snooping around,

I guess I can understand the idea of, I lived in a fraternity house. I remember those when I was, I'm sure there were a couple big time clauses in there. We actually had out gay men in the house at certain points in eras, but they, again, like we were the classic, you know, douchey frackers.

And, but even stuff like, there was a friend of ours that like, we were like, we don't think he goes to class. Everyone was like, I've never seen him in class once, but he would always walk around the backpack. So then he left his backpack in the room, and we're like, dude, let's go through his back See if he goes to class. It was all like Reese's rappers And it's like that's awesome

Just like was he fat? No, he's just like this thing. I want to be so funny. You live some fat guy I just I can't do this Just so cartoonish. Right, right. The only thing I could be is, like my back begs full of gyros and fucking. This is fucking. White sauce.

Yeah. What is this? So, but it was sad to me, it's a similar sadness levels, obviously, of like, you know what your friend not going to school acting like he can't tell us that he can't get through college, you know, in the same way, they don't want to like have to like, like they know they probably felt when they found whatever they found they probably go, this isn't as fun as we thought

it would to go and see. Of course, it feels like. But when you actually find it, what you want is to not get any evidence, but to have like some clues. Right. And never run and you joking. Yeah, you don't want to discover like some clues. Right, and where it's fun and you joking. Yeah, you don't wanna discover like your friend, like a picture of him getting just throat fucked.

And then a, what are you even, what world is that, like the, I put it on the windows, you know what I'm saying? They're on his phone, you never know. You don't wanna find an ex, here's what you devil don't want. Sexually explicit image followed by like his diary where he's like, it happened again,

but this time it was the last time I've been going to church, I've been praying, I know it'll, this cure will take this time. That's the worst thing you've possible. You feel horrible. I also think a big part of this is like, it's like when someone's in a bad dream, you don't like shake them awake right away.

That's kind of the metaphor here. You don't want to go up to him and be like, we know you're gay. This guy comes from a conservative family. This is a big fucking thing for him. Huge, huge. Like, enter his friend. You want to show him that you're there for him, but you don't want him to show him that you went through his shit and because it comes from a, you know, going through these accusations,

do come from a place of somewhat homophobia. You know, the idea you're living it, like all this stuff. So like, there's a lot of layers here where I think whoever's closest with them needs to like, if I was like close with them, be like, hey man, you know you can tell us anything you need to tell us.

Like, whatever you want, I'm sure to will in grace. Right. Anything that comes up to mind Queer Eye right after. Yeah, you just, whatever you want, you throw on episode of Will and Grace. Right. Anything that comes up to mind, Queer Eye right after. Yeah, you just- Whatever you're thinking about, all the pictures of the windowsill, you change them to throat fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you know, my favorite member of NSYNC was Lance Bass. Any thoughts? Right, I think coming in with, like, love and affection and, like, Hey, man, like, don't make it feel like an intervention And here's the other thing here's another element if this guy's deeply closeted and he's got so much shame Associated if he like just fuck the guy for the first time. He's pro who knows what's going on Like you don't want to yeah, don't make it feel like an intervention great point. Don't confront him Just kind of

And then just like a subtle like hey man if you ever need to like open up about anything Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm totally here for you and there is nothing you could tell me that would freak me out or make us not I killed my mom She found my game board But no, I think you're absolutely right where it's like you guys if it sounds like you guys probably did something a little fucked up Even if it came from a good place and you have to tread very lightly here, right? And you have to like, hey, I should find out Nothing. Yeah, and by the way, it's not even that hard of acting because you guys already all thought he was gay, right? You're right in your whole life. You know, so it's like just continue whatever that is just because he actually fucked the guy Doesn't make it's not like, you know, they flipped the switch and now just because he actually fucked the guy, doesn't make, it's not like,

you know, they flipped the switch, and now he's, he was the same guy before. You know what I mean? So it's like, continue on that, don't, and I think you're right, the closest one can kinda broach a subject very lightly though. Right.

And just, he's gotta, if he comes from this weird background, you cannot push it, and he's, by the way, you're kind of a dick for being like, we really don't want him to embarrass himself talking about getting pussy right? It's not you're an asshole for thinking that You're talking about embarrassing himself to you. Yeah, it's like no you know

Yeah, and you're being an asshole if I being in you know would be embarrassing for him You know why he's doing it is all this pent up fucking shit he's got to get through. We talked about my family. Get out and talk to him. We all have this shit on us. Yeah. You know, yeah, pull the one guy and just, I'm here, not everyone, just I'm here. You're gonna, you give him a safe landing spot.

You, here's your private airfield. Bring it back to us, private plane flyers. Yes. You know, here's your private runway. You've got to place the land whenever you want to us private plane flyers. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Here's your private runway. Yes. You've got to place the land whenever you want to land this plane. And not even without saying it, just like, and if there's anything, you know you can always come to me

and whatever it is, you know, other than shooting your mom in the ass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can come to me. I think that's the, like, the, she found my full house episode with music changes

Mom. Yeah. Yeah. My mom found my Photoshop of avatars having gay sex with each other. So she had to go They were putting their tails in each other's asses I've definitely had a mower's He's like, what if they fuck? Oh yeah, I know. What could they put those tails? They could do a lot with those tails, brother. But yeah, Jared's absolutely correct. And look, he's nothing to realize.

This guy doesn't owe you shit. There's a little entitlement when you're a young 20 year old dumbass, it's like, dude, why is he lying to me? It's like, he's got what you are not important in this equation whatsoever. So if he never brings it up to you and he's embarrassing himself by pretending to have a fucking, to getting pussy,

that's not anything you support him. 10 years from now. That doesn't matter at all. You think it doesn't matter at all. You gotta be supportive for your friend and don't take it personally at all. 10 years from now, you want to be at his wedding while he makes out with his new husband.

Yes. Chanting from the back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And have him join in the chant with you. Yeah. Right?

That's the dream. That's the dream. Absolutely. And it's wonderful. And don't fuck it up by being a pushy dickhead right now. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta go soft It's a squirrel go soft. Yeah, yeah That's gonna do it for us buddy. Thank you so much for doing it. Thank you enough for having go watch the special out now

37 single 37 and single go watch it and Yeah, we'll see you guys next time, bye bye. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time.

Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. Do the time. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem.

Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the

most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.