Stavvy's World - #37 - Evan Williams & JP McDade

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

Evan Williams and JP McDade join the pod to activate the pink hog armada, get JP out of Patreon purgatory, discuss young Evan's vices, reprimand Evan for not taking full advantage of his divorce, and much more. Evan, JP and Stav help callers including a man who wants to track his biological dad down for medical records, and a guy who no longer feels attracted to his girlfriend. Murder your thirst with Liquid Death! Get 20% off your first merch order exclusively at https://www.LiquidDeath.com/STAVVY Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code STAVVY for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. More info at https://gametime.co/ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!  Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at patreon.com/stavvysworld 

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding, wow, what a couch. Looked over here. If you're just listening, you're doing yourselves to the service, Eldis with the sharp cut off again, when are you gonna learn to fade? Fuck you, idiot. That wasn't fade. For a long time. From the top, Eldis. And you made me curse.

We're trying not to get demonetized, Eldis. What the heck, Eldis? What the freaking heck? What the darn heck are you doing over there, Ode? You be such a blockhead man. You're gonna hit your body. You're goofing around. Yeah.

We got the pink penis armada right on the couch. Two of the most pinkish- You're the most pinkish thing in the whole family. You do know, I know exactly how pinkish. Yeah, there's shades of pink. It's fucking Barbie. It's freaking Barbie movies. the most pink is the whole thing. You do know I know exactly how pink is. Yeah, there's shades of pink. It's fucking Barbie. It's freaking Barbie movie.

Yeah. It's the color palette of the whole Barbie movie. It's Barbie. It's brought to you by the time. Dick Man definitely. This Janet just longed very hard. No, it's not 10. I just entered it into the record.

It's 10. I just said it. Yours are heaven.'s 10 I just said yours are Ebb so all both of ours together That's dead into the pig Confirm I went one of us is soft the other is hard so it's always Hard and you're so Always know no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no weird on you. It looks weird. Eldest has a my, Eldest has the same penis as me, but he's, you know, six, six. Yeah, I'm not working with a lot. I mean, it's okay, you know, it's not bad.

It's gotten our boy truly insane amount of activity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On unhealthy amount, you know, that's good, man. But quiet down, Evan, we'll get to, we'll get to, we'll get to, we'll get to how prudish you are,

I'm okay. Okay. Dude, Eldest, you know, I was thinking the other day, I love, you know what I love, We'll get the how prudish you are. Okay. Okay. Dude. I'll just, you know, I was thinking the other day, I love, you know what I love? Mango the fruit. I love its sweet, its delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets.

Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know, many times I've gotten sucked off being like this actually One time after I was like want to come back with some fruit salad and I thought it was smooth And then some girl after she fucking was like that was so weird. You asked me to come over for a fruit salad I was like, I don't know. I wasn't dry and I didn't I wasn't drinking at the time

Well, they say mangoes are an effort Dziak. Well, here's the thing I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drunk. I didn't. I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort. Easy. Well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango. And I've oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. And I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game.

You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest. You know I'm an ED, I've tried them all from the gas stations to other services. Mango RX now has a new ED pill that is game changing, okay? Really? Taste like mango, my friend. Wow. Delicious, just like it.

And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, Eld. They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever. We're talking, zwing! You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing!

Yeah, that's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light. Yes, one little gleam. One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. I don't know. Yeah, because like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow.

They got all kinds of science shit in here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It is, it was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with a new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard Science in the field right people who have a beautiful goal. You here's their mission make America hard again, eldest They have you know, let's get can we get Fuck an idiot There you go. Sorry We tried to give it the applause it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go and We tried to give it the applause it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again.

I think on what, whatever side of the aisle you're on, conservative liberal leftist centrist, you could, we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks, all this division in the world would go away all this. I think this is such a good product, eldest. I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on ED medication in general, because look, here's the thing about mango orax. You may not need it, but you're going to want it, pal.

Yeah. All right. I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed.

You've seen me take adables enough. That's true. Just because you wanted a little dummy. I'm not aware of a snack, because I have so much wine to get high. I've seen you take weed adables. I've seen you take fiber adables, where you're shitting yourself,

because you wanted a momentary snack. I've seen you take fiber adibles where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary, a momentary snack. I've seen you take thumbs on an empty stomach just because you wanted the taste. And that's how we got elders through the door here with mango Rx. It's easy folks. Buying mango, buying mango is so easy. Just go to mango rx.com, complete a short and secure telemedicine visit. You're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit, you're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over in literally a matter of minutes.

It's nothing quick and easy. Be sure to use code, stav20 to save 20% off your first order. You and your partner are gonna love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries.

So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a

cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around. And remember, one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. You usually choose. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Growing up, we would ride scooters at night. We'd just take our dicks out so the cars could see us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When we were ride scooters at night, we just take our dicks out so the cars can see us. Yeah, just reflect. Oh, they're bright. They're definitely bright. We've got two of my favorite.

JP just Patreon, McDade, has escaped the Patreon. He's escaped the Patreon. And you can call that? You're getting called into the big leagues. I just imagine how many days I've had. He needs to do it a long time. I not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues.

I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. I'm not going to do the big leagues. make one cool dick. Together you're one adequate podcast guest.

The two of you are. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there.

Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there.

Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. Keep it civil over there. man, oh, he's a tart of it. How fucking liquid, you have no fuckers, I'll just face them, they're families. They don't like fucking gay stuff. Do not listen to these men, they do not represent the views of Stavvy's world and Stavvy Baby Enterprises, LLC. When he rides up against his Hellenic piece of shite, we have the same BMI on each of these areas. We may equal Eagle L.A.

Yeah, but I have less penis. And we got, eldest cut, we got it. We're setting you up just to say that. I agree. The fizz or listening to this? Are you wearing a wank? You're wearing a wire on a podgez. I'm recording. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just wearing a wire? I did all those dates with you on the road

just to establish trust, set you up. And to get me to admit that I have less penis than the two of you combines, I was in a serpico type situation. I didn't know which way it was up. I know, they got you, dude. He wanted the bath in my certainly take a bath. Yeah, put it in the toilet.

He flushed it flush it. He might call me gay a mark. Yeah, put it in the toilet. What should he like? Call me gay. By the way, Evan, thank you for addressing like a Latino T-Mobile employee on date night. We got to play for you. You look like a Dominican. I have Dominican taking out his side bitch from our gorillas. I haven't filmed before the end of this podcast. I'm gonna buy a Mazda CX 30 off of this guy.

I was gonna like, I take a side bitch to a basketball game. I'm gonna jump over a shoulder. I'm gonna go get some normal way, dude. Yeah. Oh, this just came from an event. I know it's okay. It was a magician's convention He was trying to be the gay assistant Yes, it were thrilled to have Evan Williams the little guy also Sorry. Yes, it were thrilled to have Evan Williams,

the little guy also here. He's the little guy. It's the little guy. Oh, then we address like absolute slugs and we just rip on him. I'm in my fucking house. Okay, that's the beauty of this fucking podcast. It's like it's to dress however the fuck I want.

I always get to dress like shit, but it's beautiful having the little guy here. You know, you've absconded to Los Angeles. I have. You know, we all, we all basically, we were, you know, back in the day and look, folks, we don't talk about comedy that much. Just, just relax. But we, these were, these were some boys we were hitting the New York mics with.

The Creek, we were having a lot of fun. We were at the Creek. We met you outside of the Creek. Yeah. The whole toothless, starving man. Yeah, I remember that. Dude, the fucking eight years ago. We're at a DC, yeah. Yeah, I remember the fucking eight years ago. I'd see yeah, yeah Just up here and now look at us, you know look at us. I'm fatter than ever, but rich. Yeah, you're divorced

He's back to working his day job She's going bad for us and all different ways Get it steady bad different ways. I'm just kind of kept it steady bad. Yeah. A divorce dress like your divorce lawyer. Yeah, it sucks, man. Yeah, shit's going back. Yeah, you were in a beautiful relationship when I met you and now you're just so nice. Yeah. Yeah. Just true nice. I was just suspicious. I was just suspicious. We were all doing roast battle when we still had like hope for that. I was got just suspicious

We were all doing roast battle when we still had like hope for that. Yeah One day it's coming back to any day now all you all you need is the approval of the roast master general himself one day people who appreciate my joke right now all it took me to stop was bombing it on television just for Snoop Dogg to be like I don't know what the fuck you just said I really couldn't good who's your rose what was that I say about everything. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name.

I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. I wish I had a name. culture was like it started there was some great battles and you you and fucking Scott Scottie a whole song over time yeah that was fucking a good to sing bomb go look that up for

we are there is like we just in case I was there too was the old city there I was there I watch. I was watching from the wings. Yeah. And you had this whole, it was a great roast battle. But it's like, at first it was fun because it was like friends. And then it was like, and then it was good. Because we know the things that we can say. Exactly.

It's not too far. And we know afterwards, we're just going to go to a diner. Exactly. And everyone's going to laugh. We know, you know, everyone knows each other you can say, fucked up. I didn't want to eat in. You know what I mean? It was fucking awesome. And, and I think fucked up there I didn't want to be in you know, I mean it was fucking awesome. Yeah, and And I think I lost because I was too mean to Ian

Talking about you know that's easy to get trained Yeah, in fact, I'm not gonna say actually actually feel bad about one of the I still to this day feel bad about me I didn't see I just met in didn't know how like I I didn't see I just met him, didn't know how like, I knew how frenetic, because this energy can be really to the top. I didn't know how fragile the energy was. I don't know how unstable the energy source was. You know what I mean?

I don't know that it could be turned within and then he could just like, we just saw the character at that point. But it was so funny, because you would start and it was like, oh, we'll say some fucked up things about our friends. And then it was just like, they were randomly pairing up people and you would start and it was like, oh, we'll say some fucked up things about our friends. And then it was just like they were randomly pairing up people and you would just face the message.

So I'm gonna be like, yeah, so my mother was murdered. I got raped as a child. Yeah. So this is some fun stuff you can work with. You know, it was just like, yeah. I can't come. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And then like, you get there and you do the battle. but I've done it so I'll judge it now. And guys will be like, so you know Jeff here like can't come. You know, and that's this whole thing and he says it's joking makes a holiday in Slap and I just love the idea. Like they sat down in a coffee shop and discussed that. Yeah, they will not pass out. You know what my wife laughs because my Google Docs were created. Yeah, they will not pass out, you know when my wife laughed because Google docs were created Yeah, everyone has a note everyone knows who got molested in New York comedy Yeah, if you got molested there was no way you weren't getting a molested joke

And no everyone knows whose parents died tragically. Yeah, who's dad beat them? And it was just for what? For what? For a new hot spot and on page five that would be used to create this thing Yeah, I just that's all I wanted And it was just for what? For what? For an on-page spot. And on-page spot. That would be used to create this thing. Yeah. I just, that's all I wanted.

To create content that would prevent you from getting a job later. Yeah. Which did happen to be... It was just, it happened several times. We had plenty of it. We had so many friends that were denied opportunities. It was just, like, made $30,000. And they shot the whole thing thing and then they were like, oh, we're just gonna do a quick social media check

You're a fucking That's done We're gonna pay you either At least rich boss still doesn't know who I am which Voss still doesn't know who I am. What a time. What a beautiful time in comedy. Beautiful. Just a couple of young bucks. Yeah.

But now we got Evan back in the mix, man. It's nice to get you on New York soil. Dude, of course. What's going on, brother? How's it going? It's good, you know? Yeah. You're out there in LA. You're Mr. Hollywood now?

You know, you can say that. Yeah. Yeah, by that, I mean, I'm at the sex parties. Are you? No, I'm not. I heard about some crazy ones. Yeah, that's awesome. I probably get name names on the internet. You kind of people that are there watching

and the people that are there are partaking at age two. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So you know someone who got fucked in Bruno Mars, watch them get fucked? I know someone that went in, like turned in their phone, and a very famous female rapper was laying on a bed, and a little guy who looked like Danny DeVito was eating her out.

While around her on the bed was a line of gay men, like human centipedes fucking each other. And if I said the name, it would blow your mind I'll say it after but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Summer's just like, dude are you kidding me? No, yeah. That's what I was born for. You're casting all the time.

I'll let you know the rapper. You can DM me. I'll be like, I don't want to look a lot like a lot like a lot of young. You know what I'm saying? I'm fatter. Does that do something for you? Yeah, I think it might. I think it might. You know what, that would be nice because, okay,

I don't, the thing about sex parties for me is, I don't need to be performing even in my personal life. You know, I'm on stage constantly. I can't bust a nut in private. Yeah. And I worry my cock wouldn't work under those, you know, pressure or circumstance.

Then you just be a guy hanging out. I would just be a guy with a soft thick. Even worse, not a guy. You go from failing in the middle to like standing up, like, yeah, you can't play that off. You can't match your like soft top. I'd be like, one sec and just you're beating off and everyone's like, I want pussy next.

I'm not a hard celt or anyone need anything. Yeah. Just knocking my dick against the thing, trying to see if a gay guy could get it hard, like I'm getting desperate. I'm not doing anything. I'm like, come on guys, something. Maybe I just change masks. Yeah.

I come soft in the gay guys mouth. It does turn me on, it doesn't get my dick hard. It's the worst of both worlds. Emotionally worse than you love. Not quite ghostly, butotionally worse than you love. Not quite gooselly, but emotionally immense something. You know, it's the monkeys paw wish that came true. Yeah.

That'll do anything to get hard right now. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. I'm a different person now. But, but I will say this, I think I could get observed eating pussy. Right. I think I could do that. That's all the zazz to that little guy. You know what I'm saying?

That's all the zazz to that little guy. And yeah. Yeah. It's like a bullpen guy. That's like a lefty specialist who comes in for like once a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The other guy's handled the coitus. They handled the pet trade of intercourse.

Definitely, definitely. I'm here to get the party started. That's right. I mean, I'm the DJ. I'm the DJ before the game starts. Yeah. I start the pet rally. I'm not doing get the party started. That's right. I mean, I'm the DJ. I'm the DJ before the game starts. I start the pep rally. I'm not doing the cartwheels. I'm playing like...

He was still talking there. He was still talking there. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P Someone does a real cool sex thing and you drop a flex bomb Run that the fuck back He puts his mouth back in a ass run that the fuck back That would be awesome But you've never you two you're too much of a gentle guy to be at a sex party ever. I'm a freak of nature Just tie it down, you know, yeah, oh usually tie it down with somebody. Yeah, JP You wouldn't be a sex party guy. No, probably not yeah, no eldest. Yeah, you boy

I'm not gonna be at the sex party with a golf tan I'm not gonna be at the sex party with a golf tan Gonna be upsetting for everybody. I don't have the right jewelry Right, you know, you got to have some pewter rings or something if you're a sex party guy That's true. It's a different kind of swag It is interesting because I think if my hair keeps getting longer it will morph from diner owner to sex party guy Yeah, you start calling yourself pretty close. You're sure? Yeah, I'm just putting it in a pony.

If I straighten it and like gel it down and put it all the way, it's wet, it's pretty long. Your current phase is 1970s band manager, but then anything beyond that, you're gonna be Sex Party attendee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perhaps host. I think host is what I'm going for.

Yeah, I think host I could be the host and an open-to-the-one Velvet world. No, no, no, no, no Talks. Yeah, JP's right. It would be it would be a road. I'd be wearing a tire so heavy wearing a breeze. You know, actually I like host because I should get everything going and then I pull somebody into a private area to get my dick sucked. Yeah, I'm working. I'm not fucking on the floor. Okay, I suck up on my break.

See, there's someone in it to get my dick sucked. There's the factory floor, and those are the managers off the stuff. Yeah, I'm gonna see. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly the moon though, my friend. You just pop in to keep up morale on the floor

every now and then, just kind of check it out. You walk around like you're a Greek restaurant owner. How you guys enjoying the car? Bravo! Bravo, beautiful. Bravo. You guys are coming. Very good.

Everybody busting that. Everybody maybe I get super condoms. Yeah, I get it. No condoms here. Very good. Bonner. Lambskin condoms only. Hey, my friend, gay room inside.

Buddy, no gay shit here. My friend, gay room inside. Buddy, no gay shit here. This is the big room. This is the main street. How to big pussy room. No gay shit here. Go back in the velvet room for the gay shit. Oh, be awesome.

I could take a newspaper here, gay guy on the nose, like he's a dog. Stop eating his ass, man. Stop with your tongue and he says I'm sorry I'm talking to Greek to my son to my 11 year old son is working a shift at this next party like it's the diner you have a towel over your shoulder for come watch the cock rings Dimitri Dimitri go get the cock rings and watch them. Nice for the people. Krakow is sitting here tonight. You're sitting here. In front of Krakow.

Krakow, big son, was going to bust and he'll see you come out from the behind. You know to be who put the black suit on, no one will see you. Everyone's wearing like green men. Like I make my son wear like the green men, but it's full black. So he like, just goes against the background. Υπάρχει να κάνω έναν πόλη, όπως είναι έναν πόλη, αλλά είναι στιγμή, όπως είναι... Υπάρχει να κάνω έναν πόλη, όπως είναι να κάνω έναν πόλη, όπως είναι να κάνω έναν πόλη, ο Ισσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσσ him. Make a Filipino boy kamaziyar to Dito Shudj and Sakit Shorzhan Lucas Dik. For the sex party you have a huge menu. It's like 50 pages every once. What's good here? I'd be honest with you, most people get to the

cock or the pussy. I have lobster, spaghetti boon aes, a's like the fucking health inspector give us a seat That would be fucking awesome And you let it slip Wasn't her Yeah, no, that's that would be a fun business to run God damn dude. Yeah, no, I'm too. I'm too nervous for all that kind of stuff But you know you're over here nervous enough at a regular party all that kind of stuff, but you know, you're over here. Nervous enough at a regular party.

That's true. Yeah. Can't be bringing social anxiety. You don't do like a threesome, right? Sure. That's kind of nerve wracking, no? It's a closed environment. I've never done it.

Yeah, you've never done it. No. You see, the thing you guys, this was a hard episode to do because we have so much. Usually it's like we ask a couple biographical questions. Me and Evan go, you know, and JP, just Patreon, he's been here, you know, he's the whole steady hand of the old operation. He's the backbone.

So it's like, you guys are coming in, there's a lot of lore you don't know about Evan. And just to kind of give you the, just to kind of give you the, like, cliff notes of it, it's, he, there's no man who has disappointed me more, maybe since my own father. Then Evan, who, after his divorce, you know, this guy, look, and you know, he's being modest now, he's not showing his titties off. This guy works out, former, you know,

you were a child that did cocaine, let's start there. Right, right, so people don't know that about you. Uh-huh. And we can go back to this so because you got a lot of fun stories about how you shredded in a way that's hard for pale guys. Yeah. Bodybuilders tan up and slather up. A lot of dudes can do it with the night on our sides in man. The abs blend. Yeah. You got him real real cut up and he kind of got to stand like directly under the light. Yeah like a hotel bathroom I do it. Yeah, yeah, so the little guy has replaced cocaine with you know

Backroes and all this kind of you know the bell rose. Yeah, you work out the way you From my show I'm lifting from my which is great. Yeah, so you're but you're a piece of ass, right? Good-looking kid some say some say that you know and look I didn't see I wasn't happy when you got divorced by no means right. I was pretty excited I was sad. I listen the first moment happens. Oh, that's a bummer. Oh the second it's in the books though Yeah, and we're looking at reality. I'm like all right This guy's gonna get pussy for Girls with my dick.

Yeah, you know. That's how he saw it. I was born before I get to get in. You were his avatar. Yeah, and he was gonna be a golden age on Navi. Oh, dude. If it's Simms World, if you go to bars. If you go to bars.

If you are and I get to be an average body, He would have like 12 kids. Oh yeah. The other thing is, Evan's got to, the thing I know about you is you got a quick trigger on that thing. You got a quick trigger back. I can go again. Okay. You go right again and that's something

that is something. It's understood. Yeah. It's stated up top. Like it's herpes. I'm like, listen, you need to know something about me. I got a quick trigger. I'm gonna bust.

I'm gonna bust. I'm gonna bust. Listen, so fat. We're gonna go to a Japanese had better planes in World War II. But the US could replenish their crash planes faster, and that's how we won in the Pacific. Backups there, and that's why you're not speaking truly. Officer down immediately. Backup is outside, all outside already because they know officer sucks

Rosie the river gets that thing hard once again right away. Yeah So but I was pumped because I was like oh my boy's gonna get a little and you lived in New York at the time Yeah, you know like yeah, I was like oh maybe me and my boy get a little pussy together You know, I love that I love the dangle Evan out there like a bait, you know, I'd love to be the fat bitch. He would go like open for him. Yeah, and he would go back to him, like just let you know, like he can fuck now. Yeah, yeah, I would. Anything to cry. There's just kind of one thing. The A goes like the jokes about being divorced are true. He does want to get pussy. Please someone try and suck this guy off and I

would tell them how pink your dick is too you will know man bubble gum of the highlighter pink all that good stuff as if that's a sell when I don't think that it is I think it is might be cool maybe maybe I love this different situation when I've seen like a candy pink titty it kind of is cool. Second nice rosy penis. Oh man. No one said penis for you, Elvis. But anyway Evan, yeah, it's just filled people in. That's kind of I asked Evan and I gave you a, I was like, all right, you know, this has happened,

sad that it's over, but you also got, you got married so young. 21, 21, right? Made for 11 years. Crazy, yeah. So I'm like, all right, great, I was gonna, and then it's like, you had a, I don't know if you can even tell, it's the funniest thing you did during the pandemic.

Are you worried about getting prosecuted? I know, I can think I can leave it at this point. This fucking guy, this fucking guy, jacked, you know what I mean? Like has horse in his DMs nonstop, because he's also, he likes to show off how ripped he is. You know, you like that. That's for me. I know it's for you. But an unintended consequence is the horse will flock to you.

I'm gonna say gay men. Gay men, look, step on my trachea daddy. Yeah, well, it's really my money for gold, that's what I get. I can read them too. I get insane. They're really like, they get creative too. They're like, the sun falls upon my bussy.

And the set says your cock rises. They're really like they get creative too. They're like the sun falls upon my bussy Sad says your cock cries They get like poetic with it. It's wearing That's beautiful game, but look you sit the when you're looking for gold you sift through You know what I'm saying? There's mostly the game in our gold. Okay, well for you. They're not for me I am not yet correct. Yeah, yeah for somebody else They they could sift all that stuff just go mine in there yeah lovely man other other guys are throwing that gold away sticking all that dirt right up their ass yeah yeah complete the metaphor yeah but the point is this guy

pandemic you're you living in LA I was I was living in LA at that time so okay he's in LA right yeah oh you know LA at that time. It's okay, he's in LA, right? Yeah. You know, a town that's hard to find women that'll suck you off in. There's no beautiful women in LA. Middle of the pandemic, this guy starts the end with someone in Canada. Uh-huh. And has the fake that they're in a relationship.

He smuggles himself across the border to get put a cross, cross continental flight. Across two states. Yeah. Dude, I had everything playing like it was our go. My first day is this, like I was like the story is even together for this long. Like I got Bruno, he's like, this is our middle name and this is it and then I got there and I like,

what are you here for? I was like my girlfriend was in it like, okay. And he's just like, wait me through. That's awesome. You know what I mean? It's like our first day was a Mumford and Suns concert. Yeah. You didn't want to waste the preparation.

Yeah. Yeah. And then you were just stuck in Canada, right? Because you have to go through quarantine. I was there for three weeks Someone yeah was three weeks in their home in Canada Island as well you're a piece of shit You're a fucking idiot I had no idea. I was doing I had no idea when you thought what should be done is go to Canada boy

And been in the dating world. I woke up at 32 Single for the first time I like yeah with all these DMs Yeah, and I I answered one and then I Something it happened to be one person in fucking Canada in Canada. That's You can't help, we're love shows up, man. Yeah, you can. I'm kidding. You wasn't love, it wasn't love. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you didn't jack, and I'll let me ask you this. Did you jack off at any point before buying the tickets? I should have. Because this is a man who did lead all of it. I would have exited right out of the tap. I would have exited right out of the tap. You had to do laundry at her house. I did.

Yeah. Who would have done it? What's that? How bad? Let me ask you this. How bad did that, the bust after you fucked you the first time feel? How bad are you like, oh my god, I'm here for 20 more days. Did that hit you where you still like, this is cool.

I was like, I might have feelings for this person, you know, oh my god. I didn't know, I didn't know, yeah, you know. It was more so after the first argument, I was like, I can't know I know yeah, you know, it's more so after the first argument. I was like I can't go any There's not another room studio apartment. I couldn't know I could not go. Oh my god I couldn't know another room and why were you stuck there for three weeks? I did I booked it for four weeks Oh my god. I booked it for four weeks. You fled you fled I fled to Canada. I did flee I fled can yeah, you know

It was just after a few weeks. I know I am worried about feeling a little bit Yeah, it's chased by Mounties, you know, I was brand new to dating. I had no idea what I was doing You understand. It's crazy. It's crazy That was the against this person there. Oh, no Nothing was in your heart. Yeah, she was great Interesting time, you know, and I just at three weeks in I was like, what am I doing here? Yeah, I have to go home look at half so there were so many obstacles. That's the craziest part Yeah, it's like this is how hard you thought getting pussy was

I was like this is the the one girl, the liver. The liver like me. Yeah. What do we say, we said a rule for you, you had the fuck 50 girls or something? You said a rule for me. You told me that before I could have a girlfriend, I had to have sex with 100 women. And I stand by that. I was like, what? Just pitching an amazing.

I'm just loving that I've developed a sex addiction. You're like, yeah, but I'm thinking that's gonna fuck up my concept of love forever. You could have knocked out 100 so easy, dude. Sex addiction. You're just waiting. Sex addiction. Sex addiction.

You're just waiting for sex with 100 women. What? And I stand by that. I was like, what're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you're as gay guys in your DMs that you're talking about. Right, right, right. And then I met with him like a month later and he was like, what number are you at now? You know, 70, like, I'm gonna assume you've like, you've kind of hit up like everyone in like a five mile radius shape. And I was like, well, I have, you know, it's three. And three kills, dude. Do I have a girlfriend? Oh, when you told me I had a girlfriend a month later.

Not even really a girl, just like, I was like being exclusive to someone, yeah. At that time. Yeah. Yeah. Stop, doesn't him. He doesn't understand sweet little romantics like us. They can't.

They'd really discuss it. I love love. I love love. It's not that. It's that he. I love love. I love love. It's not that. It's that he had a window. And also here's the other thing. When you're divorced, you have what I've told you was the Mario star.

Or anytime someone tries to get you in a relationship, you can be like, I just got out of the divorce. What? You just run down Rainbow Road. You just run down rainbow road. I'm leaving. You got an STD. Oh, that baby doesn't look anything like me.

Yeah, whatever man. You know, right, do now have a girlfriend. Yeah, I've given up on you. I know I know I Got some fun. It's really a little bit of fun. That's fun. Yeah, I just would love yeah anyway. It's fine What do you get you you can lead a horse to water? Sun like can't keep a job or something. It really is the level. We just have to cut ties at this point. You guys don't want to help himself.

You guys want to get better. You have to get a lower bottom. We've lost contact. You know whatever, man, you go your own pace. Do you think you're going to get... okay, so you'll have a girlfriend, but you're not gonna get married anytime soon You know me man come on Okay, we're reinstating the hundred rule for marriage. Yeah, yeah, okay, that's fair marriage a hundred girls is fair That's fair. Marriage 100 girls is fair.

Okay. I don't know, man. All right, fuck it. I don't know, dude. What's a fair number? Let's do this for Evan right now. What's a fair number before he's allowed to get married? If girlfriend's watching zero.

Yeah, right, it's gonna be her. Right, right, right. No, it's meant to be. I'm just gonna start off. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, give me my camera. Yeah, you guys are gonna make it You can get arrested by the Mounties

They're gonna stand trial in Canada True does gonna make you do blackface a I'm gonna make you do blackface. Okay, if this relationship should tragically end. Thank you. Hypothetically, you won't. Yeah, but you're gonna get married. I got the bid. Yeah, hypothetically.

You said 15, I'm gonna say 20. Marriage, we're talking marriage. 20. So it's the actual timeline we're looking at. Like, I don't know. What's realistically, where we've looked at it. That could be 10 years. That's up to Evan.

It could be a few months. It could be a few months. Historically no. It will not be. Historically no. A decade. Yeah. But look man.

You take that nice slow jog to the next one. That's fine. The turd is in the hair. Those people chase. Yeah. Yeah. The hair makes a lot of stops. You know, it still gets where he's going. So maybe the hair loses.

He does lose. He fucking ate it. You guys are wrong. You guys are wrong. The turd is in the hair. He finally gets there though. But at least he completes the race though. You know when you see the marathon, you see that one dude,

he's limping it in the air, you respect it. On all fours, yeah. Yeah, respect to that guy, dude. Well, whatever, man, and look, it's fine. Because before that, you were just a kid. You got married at 21, you were like, you were just getting fucked up and shit all the time. Yeah, I don't, I hooked up with just like a couple people.

Yeah, and then I found cocaine. And I was like, this is the greatest day I ever had. That's my girl. The cocaine is my girl, man. The love in my life. It's the yeah. We walked hand in hand. Kilo to kilo.

That's all. And just, you know, buying snakes and getting arrested and just throwing. They're just doing it. They're doing it. Stealing PlayStation 2s. And then got sober and met, you know, the girl that would become a wife so I was

single from like 16 and 19 and then I was with one person from 19 to 32 so yeah 13. Well let's walk us back to the cocaine era. Where's the first up? How old were you when you did cocaine for the first time? I was 15. Yeah, nice, a nice prime age. Fresh. So just start putting felony drugs in your brain. I did cocaine for the first 15. Yeah, nice, a nice prime age. So you start putting felony drugs in your brain.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's good. That's why I was good with the tortoise and hair thing. I can't manage the curriculum of intro to algebra and modern European history. I need something to give me an edge. I need a little tootski. Yeah. Before I do my vote.

Like a stockbroker. Like you're doing it. Just get through home act. Yeah, dude. A bump in the ass. I was doing it like in school and stuff. That's what I was like. That is cool. Yeah.

I was exactly doing it. I had a little vial and I would give it to my friends. Oh, that's even cool. So we would pass it in between classes. But then I was like, at one at a time, one of us would give it to my friends. Oh, it's even cool. So we would pass it in between classes. But then I'd like one at a time, one of us would be coming down for an hour. And the other would be jacked up and calculating.

You and your friends were almost never happy at the same time. It was just on a few of us. First time. It was a class with the same amount of. But yeah. Did you at a party, someone just had it? Or what was?

Dude, it was like, what's that? Maybe like walk hard,, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You're better than that, you know? And then I'm like monkey fucking mind with his. And then weed and then booze. And I was like, well, I'll never do like a, I'll never put anything on my nose. Yeah. And then my friend was doing it one night. And I was like, we doing man. We doing loser. Yeah.

And he was like, yeah, you're right. It's stupid. I shouldn't do it. And then he was doing it. And he's just like, all excited. And he was like, having a great time. And I was like, I see you're right, it's stupid. I shouldn't do it. And then he was doing it and he's just like, all excited and he was like having a great time. And I was like, I see, like, why are you doing this? You know, he was like, you don't want to do it. Like, you definitely don't want to do it.

I agree with you, you shouldn't do it. And I'm like, I'm going to show you how much you shouldn't do that. No. I'm going to do a line of it and show you that it's not shit. That's what I said. And then you got a dig to do it. And then I immediately got a dig. That's what I said. And then you got a dick that's doing it. And then I did it immediately got a dick. Every day for three years.

After that, every single day. I took a month off one time. I did it every day for three years. I think I have the next day, I just do you have more. And I did it every day. For three years, just one time I had a girlfriend. That rule is the logic of that of being like, I'm gonna show you the guy who's been doing Coke

that it's not cool by doing it. By doing it, by doing it, by doing it. But it doesn't make me cooler. I just do you that this one, and then stop doing it. It's like, oh, now you see that I'm instantly converted. And I am now a chivalent. And now you will never stop doing coke because I love it so much. Yeah, so that's so That's the funniest and then I Wendys fuck yeah, gone house arrest now go to the place sure it's

You still blow on house arrest. Yeah, I would bring him blow an house arrest. He would bring it in. Yeah, that's awesome. Bring it in. Hey, Mrs. I'm what's their name. Yeah, hey, Miss Cardi B. We'll just use her for every name. We want to hide. And that's also what I did in Canada. And then I would do blow with him.

And he robs another Wendy's. Oh, yeah. Why Wendy's? No, no, man. I don't know. Oh yeah. Why Wendy's? He's a big McDonald's guy. I guess I don't know, but he has. Let's just co-clash. Just like think about it, the burgers are square. So they can fit more of them on the grill.

So they're making more money than any of these other fast food places. There's a lot of fucking cash now. I got the whole place fucking pissed out. Where is it? Yeah. Uh, fuck you. You went into prison for like eight years for a string of armed robbers. I got the whole place fucking pissed out. Where it... Yeah. Uh, Flood God.

You went into prison for like eight years from a string of armed robbers. Wow. Damn. Did you do any crime? Any crimes? Other than PS2's and shit? Man, he's just PS2's.

This is a new crime. And that was just like what you were at a house party and you like saw a PS2? No, I take my mom's credit card. This is horrible. It's not funny at all. Yeah, I just, we'll see about that. I will say something that's insane after this.

That's great. It's horrible and it might be fun. Yeah, that's fun. No, I would say my mom's card and I didn't know like the pen or anything. So I couldn't like get stuff out of an ATM. So I would go to one game stop and I would buy a ps2 Brand new and then I was just open it and then drive to the other game stop in town and sell it and trade it in for like Yeah, half the price. Yeah, and then I would do that like every couple days

I swear to God. I was just like moving a PlayStation 2 I was just like moving a PlayStation 2. It's probably the same one. Quite a few times. And the GameStop employees were none the wiser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no idea. And she started noticing I was doing stuff like that. So she put her money in like a safe.

Right? Oh, no. Oh, no. And then me and buddy do the uh. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Safe right? Dr. Better North you like she knew that I was like a little fucking And I would climb up the roof dude. I'll go up in the attic window and climbing that is down those stairs into her bed And like ninja my way richy go get me a stethoscope into her bed and like ninja my way. Richie, go get me a status quo, cause it dude.

And we use the black light pen. Oh. And I put little dots on all the keys on the safe. What? Little dots to see which one she would press. Which one would be smudged? Oh. So she would like,

I'm like, well there's four. Yeah. And then I shine the light on it. And we saw which ones were smudged. And we did every combination of that four times I'm just doing that's the smartest thing I've ever done in my life I said, yeah, how many combinations is that like 10,000? We figured it out pretty good

Wow, I don't know Dude, that's so smart Yeah, and I'm not smart like that like It's okay, you know, it's okay I needed it, yeah Damn dude, that's pretty, that's fucking awesome You should, I need it. Yeah damn dude. That's pretty that's fucking awesome It's really bad Yeah, it's your family's money, but I made a man's you know to my mom. It's gonna make you do Harriet the spy shit

That's pretty listen, I'm not saying you steal from your loved ones, but it clearly made you a smarter guy So do a little cocaine. Or I was always that smart. No. No, no, no. Koshain was like that teacher in a troubled public school. He's like, you just gotta believe in yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. Evan, you're smart. Yeah. No, I'm not teach. Yes you are. Evan, go buy a snake, dude. Yeah, tell the audience about the snake. Come on, ohno dragon, you know, you didn't have a commoto I didn't have a commoto dragon. I wanted one, but you had some reptiles real bad. I had some reptiles

People on go game just get reptiles. Yeah, it's in my stand. I don't know. You know, I'm gonna do the bit But I just tell El just the story he doesn't know okay. I you know, I had a snake I'll just the story. He doesn't know. Okay. I, you know, I had a snake. It was a corn snake. But he was an asshole when he died. And I was like, I only got one on a snake. And then I was like, on cocaine this guy was like talking to me about snakes, man. Because like, you know, it's cocaine.

I'm kind of curious here. Can you grip a fucking Greensboro North Carolina? I've got an ash burrow. I'm sorry, ash burrow. You know, I ended up in Greensboro, that's it. Okay, yeah. So you, like, what is going on? How is there so much cocaine? What is the, you're talking like a studio-wide county.

There's no alcohol. There's nothing fun to do. And all the drug dealers knew that like, people needed shit to do. Interesting. Kids, anybody. Yeah, we need something for the kids. We need something. It's mad. Yeah. Not a recreation center. Oh, for the kids. We need a parkour who was running moonshine in North Carolina around that time for a

long time. Rhett made he rest in peace. Yeah, there was a pop cord. Are you serious? Yeah, so there's that guy popcorn. He's really good. Pull up popcorn. What? Yeah. Pull up popcorn. When was he doing that? I was a new people. Who bought from him?

Uh, he was, he was running Hoots and like that. Popcorn North Carolina. Run in Hoots. And the Hill Country. Uh, Popcorn North Carolina, fucking Moonshine, dude. Hootsy, hootsy. Uh, whatever. Popcorn Sutton, rest in peace. Popcorn Sutton. Oh, damn, what a guy. a guy Marvin popcorn Sutton was American Appalachian Moon Shiner and

I got sober 2008 man. You think you might have sip a little moonshine maybe dude. What part of wait? Yeah, eldest dick just got college in What happened eldest I think this guy was in this sick movie. Yes, that's a documentary called mountain talk Okay, just talk about like Appalachian dialects. Nice fucking crazy out there Nice, dude. That's awesome I remember this oh I should talk about that family. What's that family call? This like in the deep West Virginia, they're like in bread.

Oh, the wickers. The wickers. Yeah, yeah. That's the one guy like barks. He's like, that's like how the community case, it was by the end of your horrified home at first. Yeah. Like in the documentary, like he comes from the shadows, dude.

They go in the house and it's dark. He's like, you just like hear it. And you think it's a dog and then like a man comes out. But then towards the end of it, you're like, you're crying. Like you're like, I love him. I love this brotherly love is like beautiful. What was the guy's name? I don't remember his name.

I don't remember his name. No, but the Whitaker family. The Whitaker family. Yeah, the Whitakers. Yeah, and they all just all fuck each other, huh? Probably. It turns out like the family tree was like two The reason they were so fucked up is it wasn't just that a brother and sister

No, it was cousins who had sex, but it wasn't just cousins. It was cousins of twins like the mom That's effectively genetically your siblings. Yeah. If your cousins from twins, because it's the exact same DNA. Yeah. So genetically it made it way worse. So that's like fucking your sister. Basically. Not like, that's crazy.

Yeah, it's wild. Wow. What a shame. It's beautiful though. Kind of beautiful. Is anybody hot in that family? Definitely not. No disrespect to the bigger thing.

That's what I mean don't I mean? Did you ever have any moonshine up in the mountains? Oh yeah. Yeah, there's some shine going around in parts, boy. You bet, you got a buddy, he's deady, the fucking makes it. Real good. Yeah, dude. Yeah, he is racist.

Oh, of course, definitely is. Oh, it don't taste good if the guy making it's not racist. I don't want moonshine. Right. If the guy doesn't have some problematic views. You know it's good, because I gave it to him. A wife when she was pregnant and our baby was born without eyes. Yeah.

Hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah. You didn't do it. You ever do, you ever cook came guy? Never. Because you were a drug. Not even in Carolina. Not even in Carolina. Yeah, you didn't do it you ever do you ever cocaine guy never What I do I did like Molly one time hated it and then And you know sweet boy man, yeah, I'm becoming a schroomer though. Yeah Yeah, I'm not growing. No, okay. Good if the feds are listening

We had a great time and off. I'm not growing. No, okay. Good if the feds are listening No, yeah, but no, I kept it pretty soft. I just I mean hard booze in for sure You fucked your body up, but you didn't steal anything or do anything completely Not that I remember okay, I woke up with blood on my knuckles one time. I don't know close one time. I don't know what happened there. Oh my god, he killed the guy. He's the right dude. Wow. Nothing too crazy.

Nothing too crazy, you know. It was a head in my trunk. I don't remember it, so it probably is not connected to me in any way. Yeah, it's not crazy. It's just a weird thing. A man who claimed he was the devil told me I was chosen. But nothing really weird to ask him.

And pretty, pretty shill of Molly. You never did anything for like, my favorite stories of drunks is like when they would get out of bed, open the fucking like dress or drawing. That's all weird how awesome happened. That's so awesome. The hamper, the drawers. Everyone has a friend. My roommate, fresh me or college, I won't say his name.

That would be so funny. He's like, I haven't talked to this guy forever, I just put his name out there as a guy. He's shitting his own clothes. But he multiple times, he's like, it would open the thing and piss all of his own clothes. He's fucking awesome.

That's such a cool funny move. That's awesome, man. That's hilarious, man. This is a good prank on you tomorrow. You know, who do you like? Dude, somebody pissed on my shit I love when people see someone doing it yeah I was what about you man you never do you ever you do anything drunk that stupid not really I crossfated really

bad in Chicago one night that's right I was like smoking a cig on a balcony it's like with my girlfriend's friends. And I just like, yeah, he did it like in your early 30s, like four couples. Four couples. Yeah. Just like a couple of years ago. Four couples hanging out, just kick back.

No, it was more party than that. Okay, I'm sorry. Wait, what's the cross-fid? What's that? Well, he was just drunk and high. It's just like, yeah, yeah. I get drunk and high. Oh, okay, got you. I get drunk and high.

You know, I was like smoking a cigarette that took me over to the edge. Yeah, and then I'm like, the sick. I feel myself just kind of blacking out in my eyes a little. Now wake up my girlfriend and say, are you okay, are you okay? And I'm like, my chin is bleeding. He bites the fucking chin on the table.

My chin. Everyone's just sitting around having a nighttime and then all this while, I don't know where it goes. Buh, buh. That's not her. That's her. That was pretty bad. You did that other, remember that other time you just fell?

Oh yeah, I fainted one time after a bellhound show, too. After, yeah, after Pantheon. That was like, we were getting tacos, remember? Yeah. Yeah, Marie was there. Yeah. Remember she was just hanging out. Before, before she did that, the episode I was like, I hope getting tacos, remember? Yeah. Yeah, Marie was there. Yeah. Remember, she was just hanging out. Before, before she did that,

the episode I was like, I hope she doesn't remember that. Oh, I would have brought that up. I know. I wish, next time she does. Next time, yeah. Yeah, that would have been awesome. I saved a few injuries too.

You did, yeah. In blackouts and just regular drunkenness, I remember one time I was home after college. I was at my buddy's house in Connecticut. We had already turned in. We were just hammered. We were staying in his basement and all the lights were out. But the bathroom was upstairs.

So it's like four o'clock in the morning. I get up, I'm going to the bathroom upstairs, trying to be very quiet, still pretty drunk. Take a piss, come back down, and I'm like trying to be very careful on the stairs. And then I fell down the stairs, not like the way you normally do, like a slide, like a baseball slide.

I went leaning tower of pizza and I'm forward. Oh no. And I just like, brace myself like with my forearms and knees. And I hit the bottom two stairs like that, like in a human sled formation. And it rocketed me forward into the wall, which was like three feet away, in the crown of my head, put a hole in the wall, about four inches. That's awesome. So funny with your body.

Yeah, it's a giant body. It's a giant body. It was like a crane collapse. It was bad, dude. And then I got the next day and I was hungover. I had scratches on my face. Like my dad sees me as soon as I get home in the morning and he's like, he immediately knows what's off.

He's like, there's a treadmill in the basement. You need to take it to the dump right now Hung over with a concussion that's taking a 400 pound Like 22 Yeah, you can just do that. It's 20s. You have one fat down with like a broken arm And just like I went to work at an office with those injuries on my face Morning everyone I finish those reports That's so yeah, where you at the park were you at Anna's party where I got fucked up and I like I caused a leak Yeah, I've heard about this so much. Yeah, I was in there.

I don't, this is so long ago, I don't even remember exactly what happened, but this is like a high school, like maybe it was like high school after going into college party, you know? Like that, I did most of my drinking when I was like, you know, 16 to 24, right? Like I kinda, at 24 I was like,

you know what, I'm a more of a drug guy. I like weed, weed is my thing. But you know, when you're like in college in high school, you wanna prove you're fucking cool. So I would do like, and I was, you know, fat as shit or whatever. So I would just, I'd be like, I can drink so much. And you know, you get respect for drinking a lot.

So people like me. Thinking that other people will care how much you drink. But the thing is, they did. They kind of did it. They kind of did it. They kind of did it. I cared, man. Yeah, yeah. So people like other people will care how much you drink but the thing is they did I cared me a little tear my life you told me you drink a whole case You understand how I feel about you getting pussy now And so my thing was like I was was, that was my, you know, you're nervous, you want to be cool with this fucking party. And I just, dude, I just chugged a fucking handle of Jack.

Like, I just, it's not the whole thing, but I was just like, like it was iced tea, you know? And everyone's like, woo, stop, you know, real fucked up. And, you know, in 11 minutes, I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, oh, I'm done, I'm done. I feel so bad, dude. I feel fucking atrocious.

Everyone's like, I'm like, yeah, cool guys. And I go like, everyone's kind of like between, there's two main hang at areas, there's like downstairs in the kitchen, then there's like a deck, right? So like, I can see it and I can smell it and I can feel it. Yeah, I feel like the texture of the floor.

Yeah, that's the best. Yeah, absolutely. There's a grime from the Journal of People's Shoes who makes dance with the beer. So there was plenty of like little nooks in the house where you could just kind of chill and like no one would- Deleting room that you're not supposed to go in.

Or just like even the stairway. You could go, I was just hanging out in the stairway and like if someone was coming down, or someone was coming down, I was pretending I was going up. That someone was going up, or was coming down, you know? Like, so I just kind of chilled down for a second.

I was just going down the center of a stairway. Yeah, it was for a while, yeah so I just kind of chilled there for a second. I was going down the center of a stairway. Yeah, it was for a while, yeah, I just kind of stood there. And then until I was like, oh, I was like, oh fuck, I was like my stomach's starting to feel stuff. Yeah, and, you know, I'd already been drinking, right? Like, this is the regular party. And at the turn it up, I was like, I've been there.

And fucking pussy's gone, I'll fuck you, you know? Yeah. And so, I, I go, I'm like, oh, my tummy's rumbly. And, but I had also like taken a bunch of snacks from the kitchen. I had like a pop tart, whatever, in my hand. And I was like, I took a pop tart. I was like, I'm hungry.

Literally, there's like, I need nutrition. No, no, and I was like eating chips. I was like, I felt what was happening. And I was like, you know, trying to like soak it up and like, not like, so absorb, absorb, absorb, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like, oh no, like, something fucked up is happening. So I'm just like, I'm like, all right, I can, in my brain, and many times it's worked. Sometimes when I've had to throw up, I've just focused on shitting it out.

And I swear to you, I have some kind of mind-body, some kind of mind-body connections. You're a super-pound. Where I would say, you know when your throat starts doing that wet thing where your thoughts like It's like get egg making extra saliva Yeah, we're about to yeah, I'm just like nine at multiple times. I've been like I'm not doing this I'm shitting this out. Yeah, and it's doing wrong. It's excruciating. You should just throw up

But I hate throwing up right? There is a second way That's right with the power to shit what he wants to shit So, dude what do you want to do wants to be so I'm feeling triumphant I'm like I've done that like so I sit down. I take a shit. I'm wearing George, you know This is 2007. I'm wearing fucking you guys fucking see shells around us literally. I'm gonna be like an abacrombie polo I mean, I know it was probably my green American eagle go to polo. Yeah, this is my love your Adidas colonist trigger Polo. This is my love your Adidas Colonist trigger.

Yeah, the thomb it is. I'm wearing George and I'm wearing, I think also weirdly I would wear, my mom would just get me packs of like Costco boxer briefs that were like the biggest fuck. And it was like white, gray and black. And I just, I happen to be wearing the white ones, right? It's like these gigantic white underwear.

And I'm like focusing, I'm like, take a heinous shit and I'm like I Think I'm feeling so good. I'm like I did it. I fucking did this I'm gonna go get high on the thing and then as I think I've won I'm just like Throw up into my white underwear Direct gets splatters I have to get like all over the place Direct get splatters. I have to get it all over the place. Oh god. I'm like, oh fuck.

And then I'm like, I throw up one in there and then I throw up in the shower. Because after I get like one, the initial one of surprise gets me. I should throw up on my own self. And then I open the rest of the shower. And then like, fuck. And I'm all right, now you're getting drunk as fuck.

You're so light headed off that throw up. I'm feeling horrible. So I take the, I'm like, all right, right start running a shower because I have to clean this shit up I'm like fuck and I I take I ball up my underwear. I'm free-balling now So I get the shower and I'm just like fucking it's a small bathroom. It's not big and I'm like, you know I'm lumbering around I pull someing around, I pull some kind of fucking, I pull some kind of pipe. Like I pull some pipe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just kind of like, you know, it's weird for a little bit. It's just like how Mr. Bean Blacks. No, it's truly, truly. And I guess I kind of, I fixed it pretty fast, but I'm like, oh, that was close. And I clean up as best I can.

I'm a bummer too. I'm a bummer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so good. I just gotta putumber too. I'm a plumber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so good. I just gotta put it up. I ball up the fucking underwear, and I'm just like, you know, I'm like, like, I actually do a pretty good job.

At least that's what I think of, I'm cleaning our state. Yeah. And then I fucking, I'm like, I like, I need some fresh air. And by some miracle, no one was on the deck. Like I guess they had all gone downstairs, whatever. So I'm like, all right, six.

So I fucking throw my, I just fucking toss my underwear into like some neighbors backyard. Because I want no evidence, right? And I just start like, I'm just, and as soon as, and so I've been eating the pop, as soon as I've done throwing up, I'm eating the pop tart. And I'm just laying down and I have a little pop tart left. And I'm just like, feeling the breeze.

And people come out and they're like, yo, stop, what's up? I'm like, oh, nothing, dude, they're smoking a joint. I'm like, and I'm actually feeling better now. I've thrown up, the pop tart is working. You're purified. And I'm just late, but I'm also just kind of laying back down because I'm really fucked up.

Yeah. And then, like, you know, five minutes later,'m really fucked up. Yeah, and then it like you know Five minutes later people start running up like what the fuck's going on? What the fuck's happening? They see the people like there's a leak downstairs. Anybody know what happened? Some like like a pipe and I was like did I have no fucking I have no idea and then They go to the bathroom There's a trail of pop tart. That was, that goes from the bathroom

where I threw up, threw a pop tart in my hand. And I am caught, like Hansel and Gretel. I am caught because of the pop tart. It was, it was forensic evidence. Honestly, it was so funny. People weren't even like that. I mean, I really got away with it. Our friend, who's house, it was so cool too.

She's awesome. But everyone else was like, oh my. So good. And then later on, to kind of redeem myself, there was a guy everyone hated and I pissed on a skateboard. And I was like, I'll take over for the team, I'll piss on this fucking idiot skateboard, but that was, you know, I was like 19, whatever.

It's, but I used to get that fucking drunk, but it was only to show off. I didn't like, I didn't really, I didn't even, I remember my, like, my first like college show, I'm gonna show off how much I can drink, even though I hadn't built up a tolerance yet. I just thought, because I was tall, I'd be able to drink a lot. And we were going to a Halloween party. I was in my Ricky Bobby costume.

My buddy got to hold some vodka and we mixed it with red gatorade. Hell yeah. And in the course of like 40 minutes, I probably put down 10 or 11 shots. I figured it out later. Like it was 10 or 11 shots worth of vodka mixed with red gatorade. In an uncomfortable amount of time. Brutal stuff. Lately blacked out. I had gotten all the way back to my room that night

and I was like home free, I was safe. And the RA has heard me puking. And they came in and they just see all this red puke all over my dorm room. They're like taking me down to the lobby. They took me to the student health and a cop car. Apparently. They thought you were dying because you had blood. I guess they me down to the lobby. They like took me to student health in a cop car. Apparently. They thought you were like dying because you had blood. They probably thought it was blood.

And like, I remember talking to people about it like days later, I was like, oh man, I was pretty fucked up the other night, right? And they're like, yeah, we were fucking worried. It looked really bad. Oh, it was Halloween night. The whole freshman class was like out and everyone was like milling about and the dormant stuff. I'm just in like the lobby. The murder mystery. I mean, right? I'd be told what happened. That's for you. Awesome.

Yeah, rule. I really impressed everyone. Yeah, you got a lot of respect at it. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.

It was a big house with multiple rooms, and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me and whenever I drive by that location it always makes me smile. Not long ago my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification,

get an Airbnb. Absolutely. Anyway, boys, it's nice talking about how fucking drunk and everything you were, but let's take some of these. Now you're clear sober minded boys. We got a lot of wisdom. You have so much wisdom.

I can't wait to share it and solve some of our friends' here. So I'll just why don't you go ahead and play a nice cute little question for us, pal. Yo, what's up? A big beautiful boy, Elb and Stav. You can't hear much. Intelligent Dean. Yo, what's up? A big beautiful boy, Elb and stop somebody so come into you intelligent beans for some advice My girlfriend and I are we've been dating for four years now. This is JP for both 21 and all his great between us but between her and her mom It can never seem to get along with me me and her mom, we're great and happy. That's weird.

And I don't see the size to her mom that she seems to see and hurt. So I'm just trying to figure out how can I diffuse or somewhat neutralize the situation. They constantly take your constantly spike and there's just a lot of emotion going between the two. So, I tried talking to her about just stepping back emotionally and just like kind of taking it on the head and dealing with it, but it never seems to go anywhere. Let's get by, boys. Oh, this poor kid is so fucked.

Buddy, you're 21. You've been dating this girl since you were 17. This is not your thing to solve. This is like a baby with a fake, with a super-soaker, pointing it at a, like intruder, at a home intruder. And like the Russian army is invading. You're trying to hold them back.

First of all, the mom who doesn't like her daughter, the mom who's in competition with her daughter, one of the most fucked up people in the universe. One of the weirdest relationships possible, who feels like she's competing with her own kid. And the fact that you're like, I don't see what's so wrong with her mom, means that she's, you're too dumb.

She's a nice girl too, a house guest, then she is her daughter. Yeah, there's, maybe your relationship is as complex as the mother daughter. Yeah, it could be it. It's just you know But and I don't know I hate to I hate to do this. I hate to be like This isn't your like whoever figures us out. It's not gonna be you. I Mean I just hate to be like a six-year-old woman therapist. Yeah, if the mom is like open to therapy one day, right? It's like, it's like a 21 year old day.

That's what I'm saying is like, buddy. But you don't solve this. You lay back, you eat the snacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't bear it for you. You're wet at the storm every now and then. Exactly. And I hate to be this guy, but you're statistically, you don't marry who you start dating at 17, and if

you do, you end up like this fucking guy over here. So you know what that is. You know what I mean? I love my friends down every day. It's soft. Do you want in 11 years to be going to Vancouver Island for pussy? No, you don't. Is that the actual one?

We can believe it if it is. Yeah. So anyway, okay, but that's that's piece of wisdom from that's like the you know the 10,000 what is it the 10,000? 10,000 hours no 10,000 10,000 level yeah, just looking down okay the answer is yours 21 It's not you know whatever who gives a fuck but let's actually engage with this question here. Okay Don't don't take a big swing. Do not book an Iowaska retreat for the three of you. Yeah. No big swings.

Yeah. And honestly, I would say, here's the thing. This is not your place either to do the mediator. What you want to do, if you're going to do anything here, is let your girlfriend vent about this She's also pretty young, you know, like she doesn't really she hasn't begun to grapple with her mom clearly some fucked up situation And the thing to remember is that You're on your girlfriend's team here, right?

You're you trying stay no you don't try and you're not gonna don't throw any fuel on the fire I'm not saying argue against the mom But what JP is saying, lay back, enjoy her snacks. You know what I mean? Let whatever that's fine. But all your job right now is to let your girlfriend vent about her weird mom and don't offer many solutions. I've been who you are, a 21 year old dude

who thinks he knows how to solve his also 21 year old girlfriend's problems and that's the you don't you have no idea what you're doing. You're stupid. She's a little she's probably stupid as well and the honestly the mom's probably the stupidest one out of the three. If you account for age, you know what I'm saying? I'm opening now also you're responsible.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so yeah, I don't know if she's stupid, but she's a dumb bitch. It sounds like so anyway. Um, that's kind of that's just let her vent. Yeah, you know what I mean, work on your relationship. Do you think, I mean, it's this is something that you get involved with when you're married. You're not married. Will you get married? Hey, that's up to you. I don't fucking know. But right now, just kind of lay back in the cut. Don't get to, uh, don't get too worried about this. And if you're going to do anything, maybe, maybe push your girlfriend, or not push, but like suggest that she go to therapy and talk to an actual professional

about this. So she can sort out her feelings about her mom. I went to therapy in college because I had a lot of guilt issues about my family. And it took me a while to really undo all that shit and really figure out where it's coming from. And I've said it a lot on the show, but it's like, if you go to therapy with a specific problem, it's very helpful. You can really like, and you find the right therapist, of course.

So that's one thing you might want to do, but you do not have the skills to mediate this dispute. And you find the right therapist, of course. So, that's one thing you might wanna do, but, you know, don't, you do not have the skills to mediate this dispute. You don't have shit, you're not even close, but good luck. And. Fuck the mom if you have to. And if you have to, fuck the mom,

because you have big tits, you think the mom wants to, listen, if the racer's gonna end anyway, and they have this, and the mom, and the daughter don't see eye to eye You also have in your back pocket fucking the mom get your money's worth Get go out in the blaze of glory Right, you know if things are going bad Just leave it real general Sherman behind you. It's really salty earth. You this mom and daughter who have so many problems

All right, just give them a bigger one they ever imagine No, just set your girlfriend your current girlfriend back 10 years. Yeah. By fucking your mom. Yeah. Yeah. Add like nine years of therapy before she can ever be okay. Yeah, definitely do that.

Great advice all around fellas. I'll just get another one going, you fucking Lumix. I think you lower your mic on the little one. Yeah, just get another one going. You fucking Lumix. Yeah, you got great. Great show you got luck podcast. Love you stand up. Um, shout out to the Albanian you employee. Shout out to the big album. I have a question for my

advice seeking. It's not about love or anything like that. We try to keep it short. So when I was a kid, my mom got married and had me with the dude. They got divorced when I was just a small baby. My mom met my dad, so I could fit her in my dad. He adopted me. And that's four, I'm 34. And now I have kids in my own.

And starting to like worry about what I have to look at, look out for my health and my future. That dude, a biological father, he never, he won a visitation right and was ordered to pay child support. He never did any of that shit. He came and got me one time and when and called my mom up hours later saying come get the fucking kid. Damn, he said it was like a cool one. That was my only visitation with him and obviously I was just a little baby. I kind of know with his new dad because of Facebook. I kind of know how to contact him and I hadn't done it before because I was worried with my dad would feel like.

But I'm over that now. I'm growing up and where I can explain why I want to get in contact with this guy. How do I tell this guy, hey man, you know who I am. I don't want money, but I want your medical record. Knowing he can say, you can't get my medical record. How do you approach someone after 33 years? I'm not seeing them, not knowing them. Just, any advice would be great, man. Like I said, love knowing them. Just, uh, any advice to be great, man? Like

I said, love the show. What's up, guest? Where we are? Hey, shut up. And then you move to that last part, bro. That's the silly knowledge. That's the silly, man. Yeah, yeah, this, I mean, this is a tough one. Um, I have a couple questions here. First, what I would like to ask you

as a follow up, my friend is, is this really just about the medical record? Do you know what I mean? This was the last thing I'd see. Because if you're worried about the, because you said I didn't want to contact him because I don't know how my dad would feel, but why would your dad give a fuck

if you're just, it's almost like a cold business transaction. Yeah, your dad wants you to get your medical records. The guy who raised you wants to get your medical records. Yeah. And also it's like, don't they have like, genetic test and shit like, I don't know, is there other ways for you to figure this out?

Figure out what you're predisposed to and stuff like that? You know, I mean, it's interesting. I guess it would cut out having to do like, MRIs and like blood work and stuff like that if he could, I mean, it's interesting. I guess it would cut out having to do like, MRIs and like blood work and stuff like that if you could just snag it from the guy, but, but even though you just gotta know what your risk factors are, you know, it's like,

yeah. There probably is a way to go. I mean, my guess is that this isn't, I mean, it's not calm, it's not super common, but you could probably approach, I wonder if there is something, if you have rights as a by-lot, probably not biological child or someone,

because a lot of people just kinda. Yeah, it feels weird, it feels like you should just get this information, like you should be able to request it as you should be able to request someone's medical history. Based on the brief description of this guy, the dad, I'm going to assume that he is, he's gotten real interested in like medical privacy stuff in the last couple. Yeah.

He's my, he's super forthcoming. Yeah. He's a hippo violation. I ain't telling you. I got my hippos. Yeah. So just go to his house, you say, I'm from the office of Nancy Pelosi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, listen. I am Anthony Fauci. You go, you show up, but you show up in his house in an Anthony Fauci and mask with devil horns on. I'm just gonna swap real quick. I'm just gonna swap this out of your mouth.

I need a test. Yeah, I'm Fauci. I'm one of Fauci's demons. Give me your DNA. I was wondering if you had any baby blood. Yeah. Okay, this is good. Then here's what we do.

Since this is probably what his dad is like, you send him, you're like, you knock on his door and you're like, hello knock on his door and you're like, hello, I'm from the Patriot, which is for America. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we have a can of Bud Light. Would you like to spit on this to show them

that you stand against groomers and he's gonna hawk a nice fat Lougey. Yeah, you get that tested and now you fucking do a full one. And even more slam dunk, sure fire than that, you have hawk girls. You ever see like hawk girls with like the dip cans at events, like they have samples of different kinds of dip. The hawk girl shows up on the front step.

She's got the dip flavors, like oh, you can spin this if you want. Yeah, spin this little bottle. That's good. Oh, and how about this? Take the bud light thing and step further. Spinning's not enough. You need a stool sample. Yeah, I how about this? Take the Bud Light thing and step further. Spinnings not enough. You need a stool sample

Yeah, I know you're at risk for colon cancer. Would you like to shit on this trans beer? Because shit on this picture of Dylan Mulvaney So those are all great ideas JP now let's think of some backups You Let's think of some backups. Backups, right? We've been living in plan A. We have backup for killing, and can you shit on this can? To show that you hate drinks. We can bet he does, yeah. We can, look, if someone's got a gun to your hand,

you're like, does this guy's deadbeat father? What does it mean on drugs before you die? He has. He has to trap away and look at his eye. Hey, how many of them are there? What does it be on drugs before the sun's accent? Yeah, extrapolating what kind of guy. Hey, how many of them are there? That sounds like plural to me. The dad's not living in green point. Like, hello, good day.

How are you? Come on in. I was just making some chai. Yeah. I do want to know what happened in that few hours, man. I just maybe used a nightmare kid. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're man. I just, maybe he was a nightmare kid. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right.

I think you get a good, probably not eating furniture, you know? You get like this fucking kid is insane. It is funny to only last a couple hours. It's usually you get one good hangout. Yeah. And then the guy wakes up and he's like, that was fun, but I don't know.

Yeah, I never do that. It's your kid like a one-night stand. I had a good time playing with the fucking NASCAR, a little toy, cars and shit, but. Tapped out of fatherhood in a shorter time than like people wait at the DMV. Yeah, I mean. He doesn't like it's going anywhere.

I'm gonna bounce. Yeah, I got, I was a baby. He was a piece of shit. He was probably a piece of shit. Obviously, he was a piece of shit. So, yeah a piece of shit. I was a piece of shit. So yeah, I mean look this is a straightforward thing. This is a purely like this is a purely You know, it's almost transactional. We were like hey, you know, I don't like basically he's saying like I don't want anything from you I just I don't want any money. I'm not asking for anything. I don't, like, basically what he's saying is like, I don't want anything from you. I just, I don't want any money. I'm not asking for anything. I don't care.

But, you know, I have a kid, I have a kid of my own. I'm married, I'm worried about my health. Are there, you could just be like, are there any, you know, existing health, start a conversation like that where it's like, is there any health conditions I need to know about? Like, you know, you know, that, you know, that might have been passed down, start there,

and then if he seems kind of amenable to that, you could then be like, all right, was it possible to get records? I just want to use it for my own stuff. I think that's really all you can do. Now, also honestly, you might want to talk to a lawyer about this, because if this is the kind of guy who-

Hold on, he might not want to ask Huh New York City comedians Yeah, well I would say I would say like if this guy like was ordered to pay child support Right like was or was doing all this stuff and he just kind of welched on it you might have like some kind of legal Recourse to get medical records is possible. possible. I don't fucking know, right? Yeah, I feel like he must. I mean, I think, but if you're like me, dude, who asked this, then you're going for more reasons than the medical, you know?

That's power to do this. There'd be this part of me. This like, I just want this guy to see that I have a family and that I'm my own man and I didn't fucking need him. I feel like that's part of the reason you're going. And if you are like power to you for that too, I think that's fucking awesome you're doing that. And I hope you get the medical record.

But either way, I think what you can use against this guy is that he's a piece of shit. And he never wants to have to deal with any responsibilities ever, so be like, hey, it's pretty weird to see me, right? Like you probably don't ever want to have to feel these weird feelings So give me these medical records and I'll never talk to you again You'll never have to talk to me again. Yeah, this is the last time I ever truly want to talk to you. I'm pretty sure you feel the same Yeah

And just be like and by the way, I'm doing great without you piece of garbage, you know, but Now that's a good point about the like the ulterior possible motives. Yeah, well you yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that's a good point about the like, the ulterior possible motives. Yeah, well you said that up top and I, I feel like it putting me into this story. Yeah. I know I'd be going for that too. Oh, 100%. Party use always waiting for like,

as you're walking away like, hey Evan. Yeah, exactly. What does my grandson look like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then it just goes from there, man. And then it flies forward six months later.

You're tossing the pig skin, you know? And it's like, you still call it Jeff. Your dad is still your dad. Your guy raises your dad, but now you have a relationship with, now you have two dads. You have a dad and a JV dad. That's what would be in the back of your head for sure. Yeah, in the back of my head, he was about to do it, man.

And then the knock on the door happened. Yeah, and I was there. He was about to jump, I'm not raising you. A sad man's life, too. You know? Yeah, that's my, everything I do, I think it's that intense.

I don't really do. Fuck, dude. So yeah, good luck, buddy. Consult a lawyer, probably. And also, I think the, I kind of think the order of operations is like hit him up with the general health questions ask for that stuff and then if that doesn't work I think your plan is a good like go confront him and be like hey

yeah you know and before you do any of this call I think contact the lawyer that you know about the eternity stuff and what you're because you might have rights here in this situation I don't know But good luck and good on you for not being a piece of shit You're You know, he's not taking the house or anything, but every time I go home it doesn't feel like a home anymore You know I have a nine-year-old she has a nine-year-old so it kind of was just the perfect combination where we both Brady But I got white trash twins But other night, you know, people that I just don't want to be in that relationship anymore.

Sorry, sorry, go over. I'm gonna say something that's funny right now. Sorry, though, sorry about that. They're in the same... Sometimes we can't help ourselves. They're kids are in the same skipping school class. Yeah. Doesn't feel like a home anymore.

You know, I have a nine-year-old. She has a nine-year-old. So it kind of was just the perfect combination where we both met. And we're at the same point than a lot. And got together. But the other night, you know, she hit me with, I just don't want to be in the relationship anymore. I don't know, I didn't really get to him like anything to train, you just end up in all the sudden everything to train. So what's your advice for going through

a breakup whenever you can't handle your emotions, looking at the door, because you weren't raised right, and you have a lot of issues. Thanks for what you make the last and keep your time. Mom, man. Yeah, first of all, sorry. I mean, that sucks, Dick. That's pretty rough, man. That's tough. Yeah, yeah.

But especially when four men giggle throughout the whole thing. Makes it even tough to go with four men. That giggle is echoing to that, yeah. Yeah, D-House. You know, it's tough. Yeah. It's tough, man. I really feel for you on a real level, man.

I am so sorry, and I am definitely not someone to ask about how to deal with the breakup correctly. Yeah, yeah, good. Listen, man, you're gonna have to get to 100. Then you can go to some sort of international island, but only if you lie to get there. So okay. I, first of all, you're, I know what you're saying, but it doesn't feel like a home, obviously, but you should be proud of yourself for like getting a fucking house.

You're home, man, dude. Having a place for your, for your kids. You're the one dude. Having a place for your kids. For your kids. You're the non-hero, man. Yeah. That's the thing that's like, the health, you know, the selfish like only worrying about myself, way to deal with these emotions,

is to just kind of like, you know, kind of let it pass through like, you know, really take some time and worry about just yourself and try and work less, whatever. But like, you have a kid, you kind of, which can be, you can, I'm not telling you to push down your emotions, but you have kind of a mission in your life, which is like, let's just get, let's get this kid feeling good.

You put your full attention at one kid. The way people when they're going to something traumatic, like throw themselves into work or like, you know, I'll just just kind of like, you take on projects, whatever. You have that situation here where it's like, you know what, dude, I mean, it's easy, you know, it just happened. It's probably fresh, but fuck that bitch. She's not going to take your home away, right? Turn some of that anger instead of like into yourself. It is a useful fuel when you aim it at the right direction if you gotta get it out anyway, right?

Like make that house feel like a home. Have a project that you can do with your kid and make it feel more like a... Decorate, you know, paint a room, whatever paint. Spread some mulch around in the bed. Do the landscaping, you know? Yeah. Like really, I think, that room, whatever paint, or his room, I didn't even say what to do. To the landscaping, you know. Yeah. Like, like really, I think, that's what,

that's kind of what I'm seeing here is like, this fucked up what you saw your life to be like. And, you know, and look, maybe part of that, like, not being raised right, don't know how to handle yourself, shit, maybe that was also, maybe you misjudged how serious this could be, right? That's also possible. You might have gotten into deep too quick, and that's some, that's misjudged how serious this could be, right? That's also possible. You might have gotten into deep too quick,

and that's time for some self-reflection, I think. She might also be misjudging right now in... She might make a huge difference. She might, from her Instagram or whatever, see that you're rebuilding your life, and you're turning your life around for the better, and making this house a home for you and your little one, and she realizes that I fucked, that guy was a home for you and your little one and she realizes that like, I fucked,

that guy was like a knockout and I'm now missing out on that. I could be having all those experiences with him and my little one, you know. But at the same time, this also might just be like concrete proof that she's not the one anyway. And at least it happened now, as opposed to when you made up the rest of the house

and you made another room for the other little nine year old and now you gotta go into that room and turn that into an office and stuff. You know, that has taken the little, like the race car posters off the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it took up a fucking pulp fiction poster and like a bachelor room.

Sticking the way more sad. Roll with the dark-toe stars. Yeah, now losing a relationship and gaining a man cave. Yeah, there you go. But seriously, she may have done you a favor by backing out now. I know that's tough to hear, man, but impresses me that you got that house. Yeah, and there's a break up.

There's never any good way to go through it. It's just time. It's just letting it wash over you. It's not acting on those, it's not letting those emotions like dictate you in a negative way. Like don't let them go through any, don't, don't, don't, I don't know if you have any problem behaviors if you have, you know, substance stuff, anger stuff, whatever.

You just, it's all it is, it's time. And I think the good news here is that, you know, your hand did a pro, I really think like you're poor yourself into like this house and it's a big accomplishment and it maybe it's not for, it's not for the family you thought it was gonna be, it's not for you and her and her kid and your kid, but it's for someone, you know? You like make it your own home.

Instead of thinking of it like you and this woman, it's like no, make it for you and your kid and someone, it's like field of dreams basically. It's like build it and the right woman will come. You know what I mean? Get your life stable, get your house nice, feel like you belong there, whatever. And everything else will come from that.

And it's just, you know, it's kind of tough. The biggest psychological hurdle is like getting over the fact that this is not the house for you and the girlfriend, even though that's been planted in your mind for so long. It is, you have to take steps for making sure like you understand this is the house for you and your kid. Yeah, a little shummelon twist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was for you guys the whole time, you know.

And it's true, man. And like something that helped me in a breakup recently was like, instead of this idea of like, I'm not married this person, like I'm just gonna give everything that I am to this person. As soon as that was over, I was like, I'm just gonna marry my career right now. I'm gonna be completely married to it.

And like, if somebody wants to like come along right now, like that's cool, but like I'm focused and I'm busy and I'm loyal to this thing. And you making that, you're nine-year-old. I'm married to making this the best life for this person and the best homey house for us both. I think it'd be great right now. Yeah, yeah.

Exactly, it's like, you're gonna feel some pain because of that's just how these things work, but don't let it take away this big accomplishment of having a place for you and your kids. So, congrats on that, sorry. And you're responsible, single parent with a fucking house here. Look, in the single parent league, it's like you're like an MVP in the WMBA right now. You're like, yeah, you gotta fucking nine, you're all right. You're playing in the WMBA right now. You're like, yeah, yeah, you got to fucking nine. You're on the NBA.

You're playing in the single parent situation. But for that division, you're a fucking catch, brother. Okay. Yeah. Homeowner. You know, we're rooting for you. You're going to do great, babe. Yeah, have all the mistakes to make after a relationship, buying a home is not near the

top. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I raised you a trip to Canada, man. Yeah. You're gonna need that. Yeah, to get tattooing her face on your chest.

Yeah, just trying to win her back. That's a much worse thing you can do than a home. Evan has no equity in British Columbia. Yeah. I don't, I definitely don't. Four minutes, Hob British Columbia Definitely don't Four minutes. Oh, I don't know probably this spot guys. I'm probably not allowed back there at all Go ahead big old to play another one for the boys Hey, sir

Hi, eldest I just saw you and Salt Lake for the fully loaded course and you crushed it. You were so good. Thank you for coming to Salt Lake. Of course. Thank you for coming. My question is, I don't know, hopefully it's not too much of a downer question, but recently I have, after I have sex, I just, I just get this wave of depression just like, just the weight of the world is on my shoulders, I start crying. It seriously is the strangest thing. I've asked my sister, I've asked a couple of my girlfriends if this has ever happened to them. They look at me like I'm crazy and they're

like no, this has never happened to me. I don't know. It's not from any sexual abuse. It's just really, I don't know if it's just the huge release of emotion. I don't know what I would even say to a doctor if I went, I'm not being sexually abused, sex is great. Every time I come i just started cry why i don't know it's just really freaking me out i don't know if this is ever happened with someone you're with i don't know let me know that the baby i love you think that love you too

has anyone ever started crying i'm thinking about this dude now man It's like yeah did it you know That's not good. It's also busts. That's the thing Yeah, it's right when she busts Yeah, which is like kind of it feels like it's like you know Maybe this like yeah I like a wire got crossed somewhere Yeah, it's like every time you like I'm asking this

Let me just if you jack off and you busts Interesting price that's a good price Like a wire got crossed somewhere. Yeah, every time you, like I'm asking this, let me just, if you jack off and you bust and you see a crisis, a good question. A good, a good, a good question. Yeah, but I wish we had the answer that question. I know. I don't even get any more advice. I know, we should call her back.

Yeah, we should call her right now. We should see the fucking medicine. All right. Yeah. It's all be blacked out for six. No, it seems to be tied to the physical act of plastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all be blacked out for six. No, it seems to be tied to the physical act of plastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it a physical? Is it physical? Yeah. The drink, I think it's hormonal. You get this flood of voxie, tosen or whatever after you have sex. Okay. And then like, there's a phrase. We'll put it on a loud happy cross.

She said wave of depression. Way to the world. Like it's not like, after all that washes out, then there's just the depression. Right? Yeah. Because what is the depression? Like the absence of the chemicals in your brain that are supposed to be fired.

It just sounds like post not clarity, right? It sounds like she maybe is experiencing. Are you depressed? Yeah, are you getting what you're depressed? And like, yeah, come builds up and masks the depression because now you're excited to have sex, then you have that sex. And she's having a good time, dude.

Yeah, I mean, it's time you have a sex, you like sex. There's no question there. But then you come, and you got the post not clear to your sad again. It's not related to guy or different guys. Good question. Yeah, after she said the sex is great, which made it sound like one guy.

Yeah. If it's one guy and not multiple guys, then the question is has it happened with other guys Yeah, and if not like okay, so you haven't been abused or which would have been obviously you everyone goes right to there Yeah, she knew that was why she said it. Yeah, but Is the sex great, but this relationship is not good? Because That can happen. When you're in a weird fucked up relationship and you both like, like, look up and then after you both not, you're so sad. You're like, you know, sometimes the sex is so great that it like, deceives you and like

you think that the relationship is great because you think the good sex means love. Yeah. And it doesn't. Right. And it's like, now we're back to the part where we don't have anything in common. I'm just staying at her place for the next couple hours. And I'm remembering that, you know, we've had, we had a horrific breakup six months ago. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? And like, you know, mom hates you. Yeah. And like, all her friends, if they found out about this,

would fucking cruise the livers. Yeah her and now she's like tearing up like what have I done you're like I was gonna set back a year you know hypothetically speaking I was medically speaking um so I think she would have specified that too or not even asked the question if that was the case it was one guy if it was one guy that she can't even tell her friends about. But no, no, no, no, no, I was literally, you know, I would say that. I would say that. Okay, okay, okay, yeah.

But I do think it's possible that if it's one guy, if it's not multiple guys, that even if it's not a bisexual, abusive, some kind that maybe there is some repressed general feelings about this person that could be coming out within this instance, you know? Now, if it's different guys, and they all, if it's different guys, and they all, if it's different guys, and every time you bust,

you cry no matter who it is, or, but you don't bust if you jack off, that's weird and interesting. Yeah. You're gonna have to go to it. That's the most important question to me, is do you do you cry when you jack off? When you, yeah, masturbate.

Right. Good. If that's the truth then I would talk to a normal doctor I feel like doctor house MD right now yeah I give me my team in my house actually code on yeah we have to snoop around your bedroom to see yeah we're all gonna have to fuck you yeah we're all different astrological signs. So you say which one affects you differently. She gets the depression after she masturbates here, that just looks a touchy magic wand looking over. Like did I do something wrong?

It's always at the end of the F house, M.D., when they've tried everything and then someone just says a random thing and then reminds them, like, oh, I'm gonna take the train home. He's like, say that again. Yeah, you're gonna take the train home. He's like, say that again. Yeah. I'm gonna take the train home train. We have to run a train home. And then we know for a fact.

Oh, that's not the question. Finish it different times. And whenever she cries, that's like, yeah. Talk to her, so you're crazy. Yeah. I'm not doing that again. He's right. Yeah, is this guy have a bit, is this,

is what's the dick size? That's another variable. Are you in physical pain? Yeah. Because the dick is big. That would be a flex. That would be such a flex for the guy. It would be a little woman like a chemical imbalance

from the dog. It's so good. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Man, that's a blessing in a curse. I'm sure, dude. Man. So, yeah, I would just ask a doctor be more clear about the things you've asked and figure

out. Yeah, does it happen when you bust? If you cry when you bust when you jack off, talk to a medical doctor. If this is one guy you're crying and you don't cry when you jack off, talk to a psychologist. Yeah, I think. I like that. Right?

Yeah. We talked about for both. Talk to both for just for safety. Yes, for safety. Yeah, for safety. But this is very interesting. Yes. So yeah, that's our take.

We should have, this would have been a great live one to have. I would have liked it. Yeah, yeah. Follow up. Right. Say la vie. Good luck. Good luck. We believe in you. We hope you stop crying after you come. It's happy to yours next time. Yeah. What a stop. It is his hunter from Pennsylvania. I have a question for you. I have a bit of a conundrum. I am in a relationship with my girlfriend

and we've been together for about two years. No one problem is I'm not super attracted to her. We're best friends. She helped me through a lot of hard things and I don't know if I feel like I'm being shallow or what have you, how much of the traction matter in relationship, do you need some sort of spark or lighting bolts or attraction to, you know, being it for the long home or what have you without. Thanks. What have you? You do. Without pressure. 100%. That's actually what we want in the next couple of months. That's a nice action. We want to see it. Fundamentally part of it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, well, you want to find that out. After the wedding. Yeah. I know people who that's happened to, where the spouse just says, like, I'm not attracted to you anymore. It's like, damn. Rather find that out as early as possible, you just get out. The thing is, man, that girl, there's a guy out there

that finds her to be the hottest girl in the world. And there's a girl out there that you're gonna find to be the hottest girl in the world. And even those two people are like better matches than you even realize that you have right now. You're stopping both of your happiness. Yeah, I've been in this position too. I have.

I've been with somebody, you know hilarious like great hang dude. Yeah, like can I We dated and I used to formal that tight that tight little pink bubble gum We'll look up at him From the perspective of his dick that's never seen him perspective of his dick that's never seen him. I'm looking at him. Clear vision, you know.

I've seen it small, but I can see it. Right, you can see it. You can see it. You can see it. You can see it. And fully, it's too big. It's small. I was never too small.

On its tip, it does. It's five, it's six inches. True, true. I've been there and I would talk to friends just like you're asking right now. I would ask friends. I'd be like, I feel like it doesn't't matter and I was hoping that they would say no But they all said yet Not only does it matter the and it's like I'll take it a step further

It's not just finding them physically attractive But whoever you even if you actually you actually might not even need to find them that attractive But if you love fucking that person that takes it to the next level. Like, there could be something that you're like, she's cute, I like how she, I'm not, I think she's cute, I think she's hot, but it's not like my thing, but if you guys have incredible chemistry,

like, the girls that I'm hung up on the most, I found myself, girls I find myself thinking about, are the ones that just fucked the best. I hate, or that, I hate to, that's just, unless it was like a super deep relationship, and a lot of times there's an overlap there, because the reason I'm in a relationship with someone is because there was a good chemistry.

And so it's like, now you have to find them a child, you have to like fucking them a lot. And those are two of the key things. Otherwise, she's just your friend. Now, what you have going for you here is that, not, I guess I'm generalizing here, but I do feel like, I do feel like women are sometimes more open to being friends with someone they've dated. Like, if you just want to be, if you're not attracted to her, and you just want to be friends, that might be on the table, not right away. Yeah, we have to try to. Especially if she's in love with him.

Right, and he's like, She's in love with him. Oh, crush her to be a horde for me to really settle that. And I'm like, But I'm talking to this new cuter girl, but she's not gonna be your buddy. Yeah, I know, I know. Definitely not about that stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Not anytime soon. Right, but I think that's pretty possible. It's possible. Yeah, but yeah, I don't think you can continue, unfortunately, man. No, no, no. This is one of the easiest questions to do. It's tough, but it's true.

I'll just have to quick one to get these boys home. We're burning the fuck night, fuck night oil over here. This is one of the, this is a Stavis rolled after dark. Save in the goddamn world. Mm-hmm. this is one of the this is a this is a stavis rolled after dark saving the god damn world Hey stavis I love you not necessarily a problem just kind of wants some advice I plan on Proposing to my girlfriend and no bember. He's the love of my life, I can't believe he even went to me. The thing is, I want to do it at a restaurant. I want to know is that to cliche to do, or is that still cool?

Those who pay the other way around. At a restaurant. That's all I got there. This is a correct answer. I want to do it there. Longhorn steakhouse Word answer Strong really

We're going to a fucking Panera bread not even a surprise. I'm gonna tell her ahead of time Yeah, we're going to Panera. I'm gonna I'm gonna propose a Panera. We're going to chill We're going to fucking chillies. we're going to fucking, huh? Yeah, one of those McChicken's doesn't have the spicy sauce because it's gonna have a ring in it. Yeah, there's your, there's your blizzard, tastes a little different. There's a little blizzard up there.

There's a little little scoop of that in there and give it a ring because it won't fall out of the blizzard. You know, I ask for a very special mix in. Yeah. Yeah. She jokes and dies. Why does, I wonder why he wants it to be at a restaurant. And is he, yes, he even specified the restaurant.

He just wants it to be at a restaurant. Can I tell you what I'm thinking here? I think what this guy is thinking, because he's asking is this cliche. And I think his, what he's imagining is this cliche. And I think what he's imagining is so cliche that he thinks by saying restaurant, we all know what he means. Like I think he thinks, fucking fancy restaurant,

white tablecloth. White tablecloth. It's in the champagne. In the champagne. I think that he is thinking how just mix it up. Just mix it up. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And to that I say don't do that. The answer is yes, that is cliche. Yeah. The answer is the staff at Outback's Take House do sing a special song when you propose. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Yeah. Just get a bloomin' on. Imagine proposing after eating a bloomin' onion. No, but the bloomin' nothing's bad. Yeah. So, man. So, look, now having said that, a restaurant is so general that it doesn't necessarily have to be cliche. Yeah.

You could, like, are you having a big party at a restaurant with their friends, like, you know, I don't know what the fuck, you really didn't give us enough information. Yeah, if it's red lobster and it's in a cheddar bay biscuit. That's to know he's thinking like he's thinking like a Cipriani It's like an Italian's idea of something cool. Yeah

Go with something more Garbage dude. Yeah, smell the corn on you now. Is this a restaurant that meathes something to you guys and her hair It's gonna be like you know, it's possible. It's just you're really not giving us enough information Now, is this a restaurant that meets something to you guys? And do you have hammering in the air? Yeah, yeah. It's possible. It's just you're really not giving us enough information. It's the restaurant where you first met and you're gonna duplicate the meal that you had. And like,

I think you should give you head in the closet in one of these restaurants. Right. You know? The other thing I have to cliche is a concern. And it's like the restaurant where you first one on your first date, don't do that. So that's a cliche within a cliche.

Right. If you want to do something more original, go do something else. Yeah. Yeah, I just think you need to figure out, you want a little personal touch, and you don't, you know, and you don't want to like,

it doesn't have to be too well-trodden, but it's also, you also don't have to overthink it. Do something, here's the thing. Something that means that's meaningful to you guys, this is gonna be a nice picture, because this is about the picture, right? And that's it. My brother proposed it like,

what the fuck was he? Like, my brother like, he's now wife, he enlisted a friend, and they went on like a walk on like some like nature some bullshit, you know, some park or something, it looks nice. He enlisted a friend and they went on like a walk on like some like nature Some bullsh, you know some park or something night looks nice And then he just kind of like popped out of the grass He like popped out of the tall grass. Yeah, I was surprised her. I'm gonna kill you. Yeah He growl. That was cute. That was really nice. It was really she's like she was completely taken aback

She didn't have any if you don't have any idea that it was gonna happen That was not you know, I had her best friends involved. Like, find a little detail, you know, whatever, and you're good to go. But restaurant. It is all about the picture though, isn't it? It's a lot about the picture. You know, it's about the moment, it's about the moment number one. And but the picture is just to me.

I mean, I'm saying like in the culture nowadays, it's like all about the picture. We're like, now, like, I've always been partial to the idea of just like proposing just to two, someplace where it's only the two of you. Love that. You know, no publicity, no fanfare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The two of you.

Act like you've been there before. Hand the ball to the referee. Yeah. No need to touch down dance. An American Ninja Warrior course and she has to go retrieve it. That's the truth that she's worthy of marriage. Yeah, you end up marrying a 4-11 Chinese guy.

Yeah, you're the one who beats the course. 6% body fat. Yeah, I think the answer is like, is it too cliche to her? Because like you said, it's about the picture, which means it's about her. It's about the picture is her moment. It's her moment. Yeah, it's about the picture, which means it's about her. It's about like the picture is her moment. It's her moment.

Yeah. You're wife and practicing that look for a long time. Yeah. And is this restaurant that you're referencing her dream moment when it can happen in which case, that's the perfect place to do it. Yeah. Is your girl a corny? Yes.

That's a corny. You can do something corny. Is she a corny type bitch? No corny. Yeah. Cause that's fine. She's corny, you can do something corny. Is she a corny tie bitch? Oh, corny. Yeah. Because that's fine if she's corny, you know, but it is about her and it's about you the moment.

And after all that, it's a little bit about the picture and shit like that. What are you thinking about putting a ring on a corny tie bitch? Oh, you gotta check yourself, bro. Oh, we do two on this? What are we at? We're at 152. Wow wow just short fellows King say you know

Sure Kings man Couple hard cards five seven brethren My children We got just penis McDade freed from his patreon cage. He's free. He's out. Go see, go see both these boys. Evan, anything more plug for the people? I got a special coming soon. Come back on. When you come back on, when you're, when you're,

when you're plugging it, come back on. Definitely, definitely, definitely. And you can just follow me. It's Evan Williams. Instagram TikTok, all that stuff. All that good stuff. Good, man. I love it. We didn't even get into how Evan accidentally became a TikToker That's next time we'll get into his gorilla brother

Which he does have which that's just a true fact Yeah Which that's just a true fact. Yeah, the girl gorilla One man. Yeah Corn dude. Yeah, the brother gorilla But the same day he's an accidental tiktok or there's a lot to this guy. We haven't even gotten it Plus more cocaine stories. There's a lot more cocaine so Evan will definitely be back when he's doing a special JP where should the people find you? Follow you baby on Instagram at JP underscore mcday dog Twitter and JP where should the people find you follow you baby on Instagram at

JP underscore mcday dog Twitter and search me on YouTube subscribe my YouTube channel post a lot more shit there subscribe subscribe to his YouTube Get on the tour yeah, it's a toaps up both incredibly funny guys two of my favorite pink dick bastards in the whole damn world Go follow these guys support them and that's gonna do for us guys. See you next time. Bye bye. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms,

and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family. Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.