Stavvy's World - #43 - Sam Jay

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Sam Jay joins the pod to kick back with a mid-show snack and discuss her new special Salute Me Or Shoot Me out now on HBO and Max, growing up in Boston, finding herself in Atlanta, waking up handcuffed after a wild night of partying, and much more. Sam and Stav help callers including a guy who's getting cold feet about moving to a different part of the country for his girlfriend, and a woman who hooked up with a guy but is actually more into his brother. Watch Sam Jay's special Salute Me Or Shoot Me on HBO and Max now: https://www.hbo.com/movies/sam-jay-salute-me-or-shoot-me Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding, I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. Yeah, you pour it and it gets fucking weirdly it gets weirdly like translucent or it gets like milky Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we can get you a drink you did you have the Big respect the first guest ever to order a pizza to the studio I did on the way, it's on the way and I really last I asked the pizza shop Man, I'm so hungry. I was like man, I know this gonna be crazy

man I'm so hungry I was like man I know it's gonna be crazy but I'm hungry I was drinking all night respect I would have gotten you yirau would have gotten you some the funnier you're hungry we would have gotten you we would have had lunch waiting but I overslapped you know I'm like just getting my whole life back yeah yeah back under me and shit there's nothing better than that like it's so easy to fall into that rhythm of like staying out late, getting fucked up. Just your whole morning is just feeling like a human being. Like you're not doing anything, you're just trying to be able to exist.

Yeah, you're just trying to get back to listening. Just get back to functioning as a barely human being. And then like, especially if you have a show, it's like, well, these people spent money to see me. I got it. So I don't know if you're like this, but like, I'll be fucked up. I'll be hung over just laying in bed to like one. Then I'll like eat a salad. I'll hit the fucking elliptical just to get the endorphins going. I'll drink a green juice, get a smoothie and like have a coffee right before the show. Ooh. And then you do all that shit. You have the energy of like, oh, I lived good for. Ooh. And then you do all that shit. You have the energy of like,

oh, I lived good for three hours. And then you have the like, off the show. And then you're like, you have that, those endorphins go in, you're like, the time to get, I'm not going to bed now. Time to get fucked up. I'm not gonna say it. And then it's just like a non-stop circle of like.

Depends for me though, some days are healthy. Depends on how fucked up I got in like, some days I'm like, I only can take in more toxins. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's keeping me. It's getting me more liquor. There's only thing that's gonna keep this train in the middle of the sweat.

Yeah, yeah, respect. I love it. Yeah, well listen, once the pizza comes, you need to fucking a little drink. You let us know. Yeah, that's fucking sick. What you were just up. You're just getting fucked up. Oh Shows and getting fucked up sometimes go in the hand but not I had shows and then yeah, once people are out cuz you know Days in town and just mad people are in town. Yeah, yeah, so everybody's kind of still out

Buzzing till two three. That's pretty fun. So it's just been like those kind of nights, which is always a good thing. Yeah, it fucking rocks. You should know it. Yeah, I've just been, I've been trying not to get fucked up. So I'm just, I haven't, we smoked weed, we do a, we get high and do the news once a month. That's the best.

Yeah, but on the shows, that's the last time I saw weed. But I'm just trying to, I've just gotten way to. I like quit smoking dog. No, so no weed. And I don't smoke no weed. What, was there an inciting incident? I was breathing funny and I have lung shit. I do. And I was like, I don't know, man, maybe let me just stop and see if I feel better. Yeah. I started to feel better. Of course. Yeah, but if you stop any of the good shit, fun shit, you do your gun to feel better. But like, I need something to happen. It's all I got. Oh, no, I know. I any of the good shit, the fun shit you do, you're gonna feel better. But like, I need something to happen. It's all like, I need a catalyst.

So I was like, nah, man. Yeah, yeah. So all you like Greek, Greek, why, how do you like Greek? Yeah, yeah, my family moved here in 1982. Oh, I was born here, but like my family, you know, I spoke Greek was my first language. And you know, that's, so my dad doesn't really speak English that well. When I was a kid, when my good friend was a Greek.

Oh yeah? Yeah, it's like Greek people in Boston. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that? Yeah, like family in Boston? I don't have any family, but there is, Greeks are all over the like Eastern Seaboard, anywhere it looks like a port city. Yeah, it's nice.

So like Baltimore, you know, where I grew up Boston, New York, obviously, there's, I mean, we're in the Greek neighborhood. Like all the pizza shops in Boston, I'm mostly one of my Greek people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For real. Greek people love a low grade carry out. I love, I feel like they make the best fast food though. Like Boston, to me, New York, like a lot of this shit, it's nasty to me.

Yeah, yeah. Because I don't know why, like the Greek spots like they care like For real like it'd be fresh like they give a fuck about what they doing absolutely Where it's like I don't know New York you might get hit with anything, you know, yeah, yeah for sure in New York They will serve you like you know repackaged like rat meat Like they'll chop that shit up. I will yeah Greek people you're right. They want the food to be good They'll exploit their employees They'll take it out on their employees

But the food is good. Yeah, like blown up in this big scandal like two months ago Because he was just like abusing the employees and like a lot of them are like Like undocumented Like you know, I told you, they're constantly throwing it. I have no work all night. Like, he was wilding on a board, some of the best pizza. But the pizza's good.

And the sub, all the tenders, the tenders are crispy. Yeah, all the tenders are spotted. To the point where people are like boycott stashes and I was like, I think it's a boycott stashes. Really? It's not happening. Yeah, yeah. Look, you want a really good suvolachy, boy's eye stashes. That's not happening. Yeah. Yeah.

Look, you want a really good suvelaqi. The 16 year old hostess is going to get sexually harassed by the owner of the diner. That's how it works. I'm sorry. It's just, you got to crack some aides to make an omelette. Yeah. No, it is. So who was your, you had like a friend in like elementary school or growing up all the way?

Yeah. His parents on the pizza shop. And then my, my host called Stallix. They named it after his son, Steven and Alex. Yeah, well. And I went to the me and Alex with the same age. Okay. Or Steve, I can't remember.

Yeah, yeah. One of us with the same age. You're really good friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're worried. Because I was, I went to college school and he went to college school. Oh, yeah. And like I was like the only black yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, their employees, but yeah, they're like, all right, she's one of the good ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And my mom was nice and I went to a kind of school, so she was like, this is fine. Totally, totally. And we would sit in the, Stalex and we would do our homework together after school. Yeah, that's a classic. And it's like, make us burgers, and we're like, hey, God,

and play on a little bit of games. Oh, that's awesome. You got the head. Because that's definitely a type of kid. Because half the kids I grew up with, their families owned to carry out out and they spent all their time just in a corner of the fucking restaurant So you were there you were doing my homework. Yeah Hell yeah, he was cool and then crazily I moved out of doorchester to stout in mass in high school

And there was this spot called stout in Pizza and I used to always order from there because it was good and it was like the closest thing to like home. And then when that opened my door, Alex is delivering my damn pizza. Get the fuck out of here. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing here? And he's like, oh, we sold Stalex's and we moved out to Stoten. And now we were in Stoten Pizza and I'm like, oh, shit. Wow, that's like, at least do a commercial for how good their pizza is.

Then it's like your palate, I don't know if it's like their pizza is that good or you were such a fat kid in your heart, where that specific pizza, you could just fucking, that's honestly so impressive. It kept your friendship alive. I did. How much you love that pizza. I love Greek pizza, I think it's the, I like it better.

Yeah, it's like, it's a nice, it's never gonna be the best slice, right? Like the best slices are, you know, I do think Italians ultimately make the best slice pizza, obviously, but they also make the worst. Like that's thing by New York. Yeah, I'm saying, it's like, the great joint is consisting.

It's gonna always come through for you. A nice seven that sucks you off. And the creases are the same, I got that. A little crease to completion. And the crisis is all the time. You know what I'm saying? I got a different curse. Yeah, a little curse to it. A little curse for sure. So you grew up your whole life in Boston? Yeah.

Okay, nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, why was stoking out in the, is that the burps? Yeah. Because Boston is this fake city. We're actual Boston. Nobody lives there. It's all like fucking, it's all like, but it's like, it's the, it's all like fucking it's all like but it's like it's the it's all the bird

It's all like surrounding like People in the actual Boston. It's all Chinese people all they keep their Chinese and gay people in Boston all the outskirts That's where like Joe lists is you know, I mean like that's where you get it's like a ring of like white trash And then the middle of Boston is like you know You know where they you go see the opera or whatever the of Boston is like, you know, you know, where you go see the opera, whatever the fuck we're like, you know, the some kind of museum.

See, we haven't been to Boston. I've been to Laf Boston. Yeah, that's not Boston. Yeah, that's not Boston. Where were we this time, Elders? The theater? The Wilbur. The Wilbur.

So right downtown. So as we said, Chinese people, we were like, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we're getting on your references together. We were right by trying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We decided that was the end time. That's everything. Everyone is Chinese in Boston. We know this is what they get dumplings and I was like, you know, it's crazy. Why does this get talked about more? Everyone in Boston is Chinese.

Why doesn't this get talked about more everyone in Boston is Chinese You do have a good Chinatown I will give you that that's fucking awesome Damn yet, so what do you have to say about the traditional like when everybody loves to say about Boston It's when they're like hey, it's not just the South that's racist. It's also Boston Like everyone loves saying that about Boston. Yeah, is that how it fucking is over there? You know It seems too easy because it's like who wasn't racist right But it's like yeah, no like it's never felt more racist than the world to me Yeah, yeah, I think what happens is people are not from there. So it's like any city, right? We got to know where the fuck you're going.

So it's like to the black people in Boston, we're there all, like some black people will come and they came for college or some shit like that. So they're literally just surrounded by white people and going to white things. And then they'll be like, yeah, we went to this place they'll tell them and they told me I had to take off my hat. Boston's so racist, because then they let the white boy in with his hat on it.

Our attitude is like why the fuck was you over there? Like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we already know what they're all over there. So we don't go fucking around over there on goofy shit. Yeah, like what the fuck would you even be down there for? Why didn't you just go here or here or all the multiple places you could go? Of course, but that type of shit is not going to happen, but they're not going to go there because they don't know the city and also they're also afraid of black people too. Like, that doesn't mean to talk about them.

So they don't wanna come into an inner city, but the city they don't fucking know, you know what I'm saying? So it's like in that regard, yeah, then you're probably gonna have a lot of those type of experiences. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause you're kind of running around in those type of situations.

Of course, yeah. Well, it's like, yeah. But they will do shit like that. Like I for sure had shit like that happened to me with, like they're like, no hats, and I'll see four white boys walk by. Of course, yeah, well, it's like yeah, but they will do shit like that like I for sure had to like to have it to be with like No hats and I'll see four white boys walk off course with hats. I'm like, okay, no black people in hats But that's a great point though because it's like Baltimore There's bars that behave that way, but it's a majority black city But it's like yeah, you don't go to like, you know the specific those specific places

There's motherfuckers are yeah, that's how all I'm saying Yeah, yeah, that's all iters are, yeah, that's how I'm saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how it is. Yeah, like, yeah, sure, it's not Atlanta. But it's definitely, it's never gonna be that, you know, and then there's a lot of white Irish people there that have been there generationally and feel very territorial about it. And like, so if you go to certain parts, you kind of know you're walking in today,

you know, and so Boston, you expect some self-busting shit. But it's not like, I don't go to self-bossing, cause I'm afraid they're gonna like throw cans at my head. You know? I go there, I get pizza. Yeah, you're not, yeah. But I know there's probably gonna be three older white men who look at me like,

what the fuck is she doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure. No, that's, I mean, yeah, I've never, I've always enjoyed, I like going to Boston. I mean, it's a great comedy town. And it's also just a great, the fucking food is awesome.

I love the roast, the specific, that roast beef. The roast, well, you know, Kelly's, I like Kelly's a lot. I love getting a roast beef, I love any place you can get a roast beef sandwich, and then there's also fried clams on the menu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is an, I'm a big surf and turf fight. Okay, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Boston has good food. Yeah. It does good food. So you were there the whole time and then you came to New York or what'd you do? I went to LA.

Okay. I went to LA. Was there for like two years, and then went to Canton, New York. Yeah, yeah. But it was all just, you only moved to try and do some comedy stuff. It was never like, you were just in both of them. Well, when I was young, I left, when I like college years,

I left, I'm a 12-man, I lived in Atlanta for like eight years. Oh, nice. Oh, fuck, yeah. For school, just to hang out. Yeah, yeah. You got your eight-year degree in Atlanta. That was just your, that was the rationale. Yeah, I'm going for school.

Yeah, it was my way to hang it out. Hell yeah. Yeah, I just wanted not to live in Boston. Of course, how old were you? I was like 21. Okay, yeah. Oh, so you went to Atlanta and had, did you have like, were you on some freaky shit in Atlanta?

Was it like time to be, time to just fucking go buck wild, now that I'm not Boston. A little bit, a little bit, a little bit. I definitely was like exploring my shit more, you know what I'm saying? But in all ways, because Atlanta's so black,

it's so many types of black people that it was like, oh, I could be like anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Boston, the scope is so limited. Totally, totally. You know what I mean? But in Atlanta, it's like, they got a little like golf ass weird

Just got any time the nigga you could think of so I was like I could just be whatever They've got little oozy virts over there Like gay community at the time like gay and black which was which was huge for me because All boss and hat was like this white gay scene. I didn't feel like that made sense Yeah, I mean I just keptasey and I didn't feel like that made sense. You know what I mean? I just kept sucking dick like I don't know. That doesn't look like the right thing.

You know what I'm saying? That's awesome. It was literally a sexual preference for you. We were like, I prefer lesbians, but what you guys got around here is enjoying it for me. Yeah. And that's it.

I'll settle for some dick. Yeah. What you guys got around here is That's awesome yeah a true sexual survivor You're just like let me see what you guys got in the cupboard. I'll cook up a meal Oh hell yeah, so that yeah that makes a lot of sense because I would assume Yeah, once you're when she're in Atlanta when it's like You don't because yeah, no one thinks about racist gay people They just think like gay is like one like blanket shit, but it's like yeah, you go to once you kind of take that out of the equation Yeah, you can just fucking hang out with whatever weirdos and gay people And like and do it your way

It's like it always feel like if I if I was going to be gay and Boston, I had to also become white. I listened to white music. I had to do white stuff. So Melissa, Melissa etthridge. Yeah. It was like in Atlanta, you could be black and gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that being the size of this thing, how's the twerp? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's gonna be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, the stud culture is a lot more acceptable. Yeah, and I didn't I didn't see any of that Yeah, I'm like Eating pussy in a Mike Bibby King's jersey. Yeah, lit. You know, that's what you wanted to do. That's all you wanted to do. That's all I wanted to do. That's fucking sick. What were you doing?

Like, so you weren't in school or you were just like fucking around. I was working dumb ass dogs. Yeah, yeah. I was running around doing a lot of bullshit's outs. What was your dumbest job? What was the one that you like? I was a tell, we just had some,

actually if you haven't seen it, it's fucking awesome. HBO has a thing about how I could- I just thought it was, I like the first, the first episode. The creator that was just, he was the episode before here, but I was telling him, I was a tell a marketer for a while.

That was a fucking stupid ass job scamming old people, but I don't know I haven't been a bad you do anything dumb as hell are you just just like I feel like I just had every bullshit job in the world yeah I worked at star works I worked at best wise work for the state who nice I rest I work at the IRS I, I worked at the IRS. I hated it. I worked at like a lot of reception jobs, different offices. I used to love being at the front desk places. It felt like the easiest job I was able to use to answer a phone.

You know what I mean? Respond some emails. It doesn't really matter. I get to, I love that shit. I worked for like a old person's home. That was here though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing I mean a boss and doing some like a clerical shit, but I really can do shit. You never had to like break up any old fights. No, don't get over pretty show. They were cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were cool. This was like a daytime joint like coming

in a day. Oh, like old person daycare. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like a little chill community spot. But I've done all types of bullshit. So your time in Atlanta was just like fucking around whatever, different job every year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Partying, cranking, I mean, we was like, this is like, crank everywhere.

Hell yeah. Little John Atlanta. Oh my god. Oh. Little John Atlanta, that's incredible. It's like being, you know, it's like fucking going to Woodstock. Yeah. You like, or just in Jimmy Hendrix.

Yeah. You like, like, hippie shit. Yeah. Yeah. We're way out. Yeah. Yeah. I was just being out every day.

That's fucking awesome. Trying to go to every club in the city. Yeah. It was all just so new and exciting, you know what I mean? That was the death knell of you being straight at all probably, right? Um, I was straight for like the first two years. I was doing it. Oh nice. Um, yeah, I didn't start dangles. I was like three years. I was like three years in. Nice. Four years in. So I was doing dudes when I first got there. Um, which is nice because I got

to do all of it. I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, you truly did. I saw the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were like, I want to go experience the whole city. They're not sucking dick and eating pussy usually. Yeah, like they're picking one. Yeah.

And living in those bull worlds. Yeah. All the way over here, we're pointing that I was all the way over there at one point. So I've seen it all, really. So was it like, was there like a style switch up? Were you like, we were a homie. We were a homie.

We were a homie. Or what? Yeah, and like an actual psycho too. I'm such a nut. I'm like a real crazy person. So it was just like one day, I was looking one way. And the next day I was like, yeah, now we're in. So you're in a fucking dress and shit.

We've only just, and then the next day you look with me. I only just saw me. You remember the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to be the first to really came like slammed up. He was like, and I feel like you get it because you knew like, because I used to don't get extra, but I was like, get extra. One last hurrah. Because I knew it was the last time. I think I just was like, let me get these titties of full shins. Let me feel that. Let me, let me be sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when I give my all, and I'm getting a new tension, I really not want this. Like, I really don't want this. Yeah. The next day, I was just like, in a jersey, woulda heard that.

I lined up right in the go. That's fucking hilarious. That's so fucking, so there must have been people who just straight up thought you were like your cousin or something. You know what I mean? There's some people who were like, well, what the fuck is this guy?

You know what I mean? Like, you probably gonna snuck back in. You guys seen my sister? Yeah, I look back on it like, what a psycho. That's awesome to just be like, it's one day. Like, yeah, it wasn't a gradual thing. I'm such a crazy person. That's fucking hilarious. So was it like when you did you date sir?

Did you seriously date guys or was it just like? I mean my first boyfriend was like we were together for like six years or so damn that young shit Yeah, yeah, I don't really count cuz like I you don't know anything really You know I didn't know anything first relationship doesn't count. Yeah, we were having sex But I don't know what we don't know what the fuck we were doing. Yeah, yeah. I think it was more just, we were best friends, you know. Yeah, yeah. And like, my mom died when we were together,

so we kind of bonded through a church. I was just trying to bond in there and stuff. Yeah. And then after that, I was just like fucking dudes, right? Because I was like, I was trying to feel something, you know what I mean? Of course. I was like, I like sex with him, so it must not be that I don't like that I don't like dude like this isn't working so let me just keep trying different dicks Of course it must be that yeah, it must be the wrong dick

That's what I'm thinking what misogynist think it will happen to a lesbian They're like she's hasn't had the right dick yet. That was your thinking as well Because I can tell them that that's not true right right right right I tried Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, That is fucking awesome. It's like when they tell you in debate club, you have to be able to argue the opponent's point. Yeah. You did it. You are a heterosexual the whole way through. That's fucking awesome. Let me check on my pizza.

Yeah, please. That's, yeah, we need to have the first pizza ordered to the studio ever. He's heading my way. Oh, yeah. Three minutes. Who'd you go with? I went with, and I hope this is. And I'll tell you if it's the right one.

Oh my God, dude, if it's bad, because I'm a pizza person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm big on it. Yeah. And I looked and I said, these guys look like they know the game. Okay, okay. But they also go before the shit.

Yeah. Andrew Baluches. Oh, good call. That's the best one. Very nicely done. I got a good eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. I was like, I think these motherfuckers got it. All those years in the Greek carryouts. Good call that's the best one very nicely done

All those years in the Greek carry-outs They really fucking showed you Fuck yeah, that's awesome Now that what yeah, that's now I want pizza. It's all you really did a great job. I got a large It's great, which awesome enough for the whole team. Yeah did a great job. I got a large it's great. It's awesome enough for the whole team. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah. I love I mean Atlanta is a sick city. Yeah. Um great like just a font. It seems like such a fun and it seems like such a fun place to be like young and figuring out. Yes. It's time to dig. Black because it's very like I always say and I'm not the only one. So please don't think I came up with this. I always say Atlanta is a, white is a Boston.

Like, you know what I'm saying for black people? Boston for black people, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or vice versa, or white Atlanta. White Atlanta, you know what I mean? Oh, I see, I see. Because it's just like, um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard that with multiple cities about it.

Like, basically the bet, would you, the point is like the best place to be black. Like, I've heard that with multiple cities about it. Basically the point is the best place to be black. I've heard that about Denver or the whitest places. You know what I mean? It's very like you got to be young, at least the time that I was there. You got to be a little, you got to be reckless. And you were like super worried about like calling the jail. Unless you're really doing something crazy.

You weren't out here worried and you weren't worried about really, like, calling the jail. Like, unless you're really doing something like crazy, totally. You weren't out here like worried, and you weren't worried about really, even if there was fights and things that would break out, it wasn't like crazy. You know what I mean? It was just a vibe of a very family, young, we all just wanna be out here being great.

Of course. The type of energy that was flowing through it, that was very dope. Yeah, no, that was very dope. Yeah. No, it's fucking sick. And it's funny because Atlanta at that time, at that exact time, I think it was also doing like adult swim.

So it's like, it was the best place, it was the best place to be like a young black lesbian at the time. And also if you were like really into aquatine hunger force. Or anything creative too, it was just like such an outlet for creativity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So much shit going on on all the hard and music and art. Yeah, I mean Atlanta the show fucking rocks.

That's just fucking awesome. Also we like Atlanta the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What other stuff about it? I would like to do. I have peaches, fucking peaches. Peaches the Assemoach. The Martin Luther King, come on now. I'm on the fence crazy. I don't know

My uncle is that me some some interesting links It is really funny though that everyone now is like it Republicans like we'll quote Martin Luther King. It's like Come on guys It's like, we'll quote Martin Luther King. It's like, come on guys. We all know, we all know. Not even like your dad, you with the time. Can we have a rest in the screen? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, I know, that should, oh the mugshot, Trump's mugshot is out today, I believe. I would say the Trump one job, they know that's the movie, wait, you know. That's the drop. Yeah, it's like, they so does Rudy. Yeah, it's like, not give us the one, baby. Yeah, damn, Rudy looks awesome. He looks fucking

So fucking hilarious. They got Rudy on a Rico charge These on his shit. Yeah, that's what you get for coming after the honorable mafia Rudy your own No trumps hasn't dropped yet, others. See, they've been moving on to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a Drake's new album. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They leaked Rudy, but it's like now, now. You're gonna have to really get this stuff. We don't care about this Adonis drawn company.

Yeah, it's the Adonis. Yeah, respect to Drake for doing the 180 on his secret child as well. That was, he seems to read. He turned it up. Yeah, he made lemonade out of that once it came out. Now he's father of the year that's pretty fucking sick. Cute kid too. So when you left, so you left it like 20, do you have like, how many gifts did things?

I got two older brothers. Two older brothers. Yeah. Are you close with them or were you just like, I got to do it? Oh, hell yeah. All right, I'll just you want to grab our fucking pizza man. Oh yeah.

Hell yeah. This is a big one. Now we're talking. Come here, let me. Yeah, tell our boy to say it. Hello. I'm right on the other gill. We're coming.

Can you hit the third buzzer, my friend? get the third buzzer my friend hit the third buzzer All right, well, hopefully you have to hopefully you don't have to fucking walk downstairs. I'll just we'll see you Yeah It's this is the most like Lazy New York should ever but I'm like come on man. You got to come upstairs York should ever but I'm like come on man you got to come upstairs No, I'm not fucking going down. It doesn't make sense. Yeah, they really don't want to know they're really don't They'll try and call you it's like come on man. You know the drill. Yeah, you know that's I'm high I tip really nice. It's also part of your job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well in Baltimore you have to basically like

You run out into the streets and they throw or you have to basically run out into the streets and they throw, you're fucking door dash at you. So anytime a friend will be visiting, they'll go downstairs and I'm like, no, you're teaching them bad habits. You're not in a street. No, truly, you have like, they do not give a fuck.

They will not knock on the door, they will just stay parked. That's crazy. I hate when they do that. I hate when they take a stand again. I know it's like, come on. No, I'm not moving do that. I hate when they like take a stand again I just want my pizza my wings and my fucking fries Uh-oh, hello, oh We got it. Oh

Yeah Oh, we got it. Oh. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, what kind of what kind of kid were you I was I was a how many siblings you I had to I've two twin brothers Their fraternal twins. I was a I was a IVF. I was like a test to baby. Oh for real so my parents couldn't have kids Are you a youngest I'm the oldest so my brothers. Yeah So okay, bring it down. We got these little last place man to fuck We have paper plates, anyway. I don't mean to be scolding you so much on the podcast, but it's too small. They're a little small, man. I'm like, I don't know, you can't tell.

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm gonna let you do the honors and get the first bite. I don't want to you don't want us. Oh, yeah, you're watching your figure. Yeah, eldest is you're down though. You're looking good, buddy. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I'm down a little bit, you know, trying what I can.

I got to that two and a half week VK coming up. You got to. If we VK, that's gonna be like dodging some bombs here in there, but I'm just trying to keep it tight where I can. Yeah. Of course, we did get very fat on the tour the whole team the culture seep down to the whole team I got to see JP a little fat. That's when you really I know I know I know we so JP would open for me a lot of the times so fucking fine JP McDade

But that motherfucker when he would like work out constantly, he would whatever, but it's like, we even got that motherfucker fat. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, yeah, he was plumping up. He would do this insane thing where he would walk to a McD, like he would get up at like 7 a.m. He knew when people like, you know, you get up at 7, you work out,

like usually you're an early riser, he would get up at 7 a.m. and like just smash two McGrittles like he would do his like evil in the morning. He was just like I could he would go to bed early we would beat me and I'll be getting fucked up we'd be like dude let's order Chinese and JP would be like no I cannot I have to read a book and go to bed and then he would wake up and have McDonald's and said while we're sleeping it was the most fucking bizarre shit and all time. It's that Irish shame. It was so fucking funny but yeah now you're looking good baby boy. Let me take a fucking bite here. God damn. I need a bite. Yeah. I'll down that.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Mm-hmm. Now we have podcast fuel folks. So. So. Two.

So. So test two baby. Yeah. But then they ended up making like not test two baby. No, no, they had another. Like so my parents were like, they had won me. And then they were like, all right, let's get one more. But you know how fucking test tubes work?

It's like, they put like nine, put like fucking 10 embryos in your mom, and one survives. So both my brothers were about to be triplets for a while. And then they killed that motherfucker. I'm not saying that they eat you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They strangled that motherfucker in the womb.

And it was just a two of them. But yeah, my parents had the twins first. There's no way they would have had another kid, but. But yeah, it's like, they were fraternal, they're fraternal though. So it's like, they just happen to be twins, right? Like they don't have like, I don't believe in that. Yeah I don't like the twin thing period because they like think they matter

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's like you didn't do any fucking thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah and then I'm like you don't even fucking look alike Yeah, my brothers look nothing alike and here's where it's really fucked up We're for where fraternal twins are ones a guy ones a girl. It's like all right Well, this this definitely doesn't count you can't be a twin And you don't look exactly alike and you're a different gender not like a marvel like we're not living in like 19 oh one like I don't care that your two niggas look at me.

Yeah. Well what's fucked up is what's fucked up is if you're cousin so like if you're let's say two identical if two identical twins each have kids with another set of identical twins. They're like their siblings. They're like children have the DNA of like siblings which that shit is fucking weird your cousin is basically biologically your fucking brother all

these ones I respect a syamies my nigga Word up you gotta be stuck to fucking yeah yeah that's not the bad those are that some shit no man you sure one hard yeah yeah yeah have you seen the ones where it's like someone they're Conjoined and one has a boyfriend and it's like well, how does this work? Do you have to like put on sunglasses and like noise-cancelling earphones?

I'm too dicks and it's like I saw here trying to live you know, I'm saying I wonder with that I. I'm having two dicks and it's like, yeah. I saw him try to live, you know what I'm saying? I wonder if you have two dicks. Now, it's way more interesting to me when it's like, like I saw one where it was like sisters and they basically like had a head, extra head. But like, they share the same pussy. So like your boyfriend fucks you.

Are you not allowed to look at the twin? How does that work? They share the same pussy. So you're like your boyfriend fucks you. Are you not allowed to look at the twin? How does that work? They weren't, they made it clear like in the interview, this is my boyfriend. This is not her boyfriend. But it's like he's fucking both of you. They've not been attracted to him

because he's getting in her snatch as well. So just you get to have to get to some side. I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Like did she have to like put on a sleep mask? I'm not gonna spy, just the one, whichever one is the like, feels like the older one. It's just bossing the other one.

I don't know. That's like, we're taking, we're getting fucked today. I don't care what you had on the docket. I'm getting cock. That's gotta be brutal. I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, getting fucked to you is just like, oh, also what's even better, what's funnier is like,

your Siamese twin sucking dick this close to you. You just have to like, that's actually more offensive because it's like, all right, whatever, your pussy's getting fucked, it probably feels all right, whatever. But you just have to be this close to someone sucking dick. Yeah, you also like like this is so serious

You got it just Man, that's gotta be tough Call in if you're a conjoined twin Let us know that would actually be fucking awesome. I would love to we would love to talk to a conjoined twin. Let us know, that would actually be fucking awesome. I would love to, we would love to talk to a conjoined twin and let us know how your sex lives go specifically. Yeah, my brothers are just like, they're totally not, they have none of that twin shit.

They're just, they just happen to be born at the same time. We're basically, I have to set to my family Better like that. Oh, yeah, and when they were little my odds would be like taking to like national twin day Maybe that's what your hostility towards maybe we're finding where the hostility towards They got more attention. The twins are coming. I'm like, they don't even fucking look alike. Are we actually excited that they're coming? I like when they're identical twins

and then they just veer off in such wild directions. To me, it is kind of creepy when they are exactly the same and they dress the same and they have weirdo. That shit's fucking weird. But like when you say shirt, same, yeah, in here. But it's cool when it's like, they look the same as kids and then one gets fat. You know what I mean?

One like gets a buzz cut. When the girls are head out. I think my personality, like if I actually had, an identical twin, how I am, I would go, I would work so hard to not look like them. Like it would drive me crazy. That it was something, you know, I would just, I would slash my, they, I would go I would work so hard to not look like them. Mm-hmm. That would drive me crazy that it was something. You know, I would just I would like slash my fate.

I would just something like I can't look just like you. Or scar. This is nuts. Yeah. An evil twin. Yeah, I would turn evil. You would be the evil twin with the eye patch. You know, you would have a leather jacket and an eye patch.

Yeah. My god, like the bad miles Morales. Mm-hmm. And the multiverse. That's right. That's a good jacket in my bed. Yeah, my god, like the bad miles Morales in the multiverse. Well, that's right. That's a good, I can't. Pretty pissed off they ended that on a cliffhanger half a year. I loved it. No, I want to know what happened.

Of course, but it was a year. I got to wait for a bigger cause we were like... Yeah, but I was like... Hell yeah, it's about, we're in for like 20 minutes of action and they're like, no, it's actually... That's so good. It was fucking awesome. That shit. So I mean on our third me and others are born We're all mo we're weird type of fraternal twin because he's born February 10th. I'm born February 11th Mm-hmm And for our 30th birthday we took acid and saw the first spider verse movie and honestly it was fucking awesome

That's a man it fucking it was exactly what we needed Oh it rocks dude everyone tells me and I don't know why do you do mushrooms? I do that was like really? I'm like I don't know yeah my mom my mom was you know 70s kid and like she just told me crazy shit about acid She was like you don't do that because you might go on a trip and never come back I was pretty scared too honestly like I've done shrooms a few times I love them and I was like acid always just seemed like too much to me It was honestly alright. It didn't even feel that different to me.

I was probably lucky like I had half of what stuff took. But I feel like it was still like a dose right? I don't know. It was good when I took like two and a half. Yeah, two and a half what? Like I don't even know the units for using. Yeah, just a little paper. Two little dots of paper.

And I literally cut it. Absolutely, it doesn't help. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds hardcore. Sounds hardcore. There's just a paper two little dots of paper and I literally cutting the hell yeah That's hardcore LSD is a cooler though But acid acid definitely feels like it's gonna eat your brain. Yeah, that's what let's what you hear is like It would get in your brain stem and you'll have acid flashbacks and all that shit But you know so far so good. I mean, now, don't get me wrong. I know people who have done acid so much,

and they are fucked up, but you do it every once in a while, you're good. And maybe that's what my mom was like leaving out, like that this person did it a billion times. Oh, 100%. In the 70s, people were doing it. In the 70s, those motherfuckers were just doing it every day, and you can't be doing that.

And I'm like, nah, man, I don't need that. No, it's a twice a year thing max, in my opinion. I like that's most drugs. Yeah. Like I do Molly, I'm like, that's maybe a three time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A year or so, too. Sure.

Special occasion, you know what I mean? I love you Molly. We would, yeah, I basically just don't, I just don't, I'm trying not to smoke weed as much because that's that can be an everyday thing for me no problem And then I'm off cocaine too fat to do cocaine That's there's no way I can yeah, let yourself come to that yeah You don't want everyone at the party nervous after you hit three fat lines and I'm getting I'm overheating. I'm like, oh, it's a good time guys. I want everybody got on the

teetering on the edge, dialing 911 and just whetting. I don't know if that people can't go cane. It's not especially- I never looks good, I know if that people- Yeah, you get too sweaty. It is, like, so I'm on on you to look crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't never just, because it's like, it is a drug that dishevels you. For sure. It's like, you're skinny and hot and you're a little disheveled.

That's kind of like, boring, but like fat and- Fat disheveled. That's how it is. It looks like you just got- It's like I just got- It's like I just found out my wife's keeping the house in the divorce That's what it looks like if you're fucking fat and don't go. Yeah, yeah I'm only gonna get to see my kids at once every two months

Yeah, yeah, no, you're right. You're right, but at the same time. Maybe that's a little internalized fat phobia on our part You know, maybe I owe it actually to fat people to start doing cocaine again. All right Something to think about I'll just get call the guy. Let's get some Get an eight ball going This is our first ever pizza and cocaine episode of Stavis world. We're still looking for our first cocaine sponsor That would be fire. Yeah, someday, someday they'll be selling cocaine, they'll be selling like clean regulated cocaine. That isn't fun.

Yeah. Yeah. And now you're doing like 20 lines. Yeah, I don't feel shit. Yeah. No, I'm just, I'm off that shit. I'm off that shit. And it wasn't too, yeah.

It's for a specific kind of person I feel like, and not me, I just like the chill. I like the chill, I like a, definitely more, I'll do psychedelics than I'll do, you know, just zone out. I like heady stuff. I'll do some pills. But I gotta stop doing that shit too.

I like stuff that makes me think and shit. Yeah, little fuck it, that's on some mushrooms. Yeah, you'd like acid. I think I would. You would, I think you would. Your mom's on some mushrooms. Yeah. You'd like acid. I think I would. You would, I think you would. Your mom was on some hippie shit. She was doing drugs and shit back in the day. No, she's so like straight wasted.

I don't know what, like cause you know, she passed away when I was 16. So maybe there are walls so she just wasn't telling me. Right, right. But like, we grew up very like, why would you need any drugs? Right, right, right. But I also come from a family of alcoholic.

So it's very contradicting and for me. Totally, totally. Yeah, yeah. Like everybody in my family, you know, it's drunk and shit. Everyone drinks. Thanksgiving is just everyone's sloshed. Everyone's a little, it's so bad that I don't,

I couldn't drunk to me is you gotta be yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah be having eight drinks that's not drunk no yeah you can fuck a drive home're buzzed after nine. Yeah. Yeah, that is a, I mean, that can be fun in a volatile though. Like I feel like that's a powder cake if everybody's drunk and fucking Christmas, you know what I mean? I mean, it's like, it's weird because we've never been like,

we're not like big fights break out. It's just everybody enjoys their alcohol. And different, like, I got my cool, I'll go to just drink beer, and they'll just be drinking the beers all night having their fun. I got my aunts who, you know, they start on a wine and they kind of switch over. I got some of my aunts who, off the door,

they on their Jack Danils way, and that's what they doing. I got some of my aunts to off the door, they yawning jackdangles, wait, and that's what they doing. So, we got a flask. Like, so just never was, alcohol was never like a really taboo thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When's the first time you got drunk, how we talk where we talk?

Drunk. By regular people standards. Drunk. Not by the family standards. It's like, it's gonna be a long, well for me, it's like, I can only answer how. By regular people standards Not by the family standards It's gonna be a long well for me to like I can only answer out Yes Like maybe oh, New Year's Eve I

Was 17 okay, yeah 17. I got fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I got fucked up. Yeah, hell yeah. I was drunk. Yeah, that's good. I was crawling in the house. Going up. Damn. Shout out to first.

So drunk you was alcohol poisoning. I was like, damn, I'm drunk. I was like, damn, I'm drunk. I just, yo, it was so crazy. Because I just, I had totally forgot this happened to me. But I just remembered when I like actually did like fully have alcohol poisoning, woke up in a hospital, handcuffed to a bed. I totally like, I was home and someone like,

we're minding me like, maybe I'd send that for you. And I was like, I completely forgot that. That's fucking hilarious. That happened, what happened? What do you remember at all? I remember, yeah, I had the boyfriend at the time. Yeah, yeah.

My first boyfriend and I was living in Atlanta, and I was drinking like every day. Yeah. And we were like preaching. To these out. To these out. We were beginning with 151. I owe.

We were like, wild. We were like, wild. But I came home to Boston. Boston's so boring and dull. And nothing goes on. And I was home for like a month. So I just wasn't drinking like that, you know? And regardless of this party, and it's like the drinks are flowing.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm drinking tonight. And I go right to drinking how I drink in Atlanta. I haven't been drinking for like a month. One thing one comes out, I'm drinking it straight. Like I do this. I go to the bathroom. Trying to sprint without stretching. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I go to the bathroom trying to sprint without stretching. Yeah. I go to the bathroom. I don't remember anything after that but waking up a little bit in an ambulance. And I remember

going like why am I in an ambulance? I was just having an awesome time. I'm a boyfriend. He's such a fucking nerd. He's like all over me concerned looking face. I remember that. And he was that's why he's a nerd. And it was like, it's so annoying. And it was like, you passed out in the bathroom. And I was like, why didn't you just put me in the bed? And I'm just like, but like, this is like the, I'm drinking at that level in Atlanta. Like we're having blackout nights all that. And it's like you just put the person in a'm just like, but like this is like the little I'm drinking at that level in the land and like we're we're having black out nights all that and it's like you just put the person in a room and like check on there. Which like we were experts to do that we weren't like we'll check on their breathing every 30 minutes and as long as they're fucking passed out on the side.

And like I totally could have yeah, yeah, gargling on my own throat. But I'm like, why didn't I remember just being like why didn't you just put me in the bed? I just want to go to bed. Yeah. And the next thing, I wake up and I tried to move my arm and I couldn't. And I was like, what the fuck is this? And I kind of put my arm in.

And I'm like, this is weird. And I'm like, look, and I'm like, what I'm in a hospital room. And I'm like, why am I handcuffed to the bed? And they were like, you were being violent. In the hospital, drunk and shit on a nurse. And I'm like, remember none of this. That's fucking wild. And I'm like, but I'm, again, I'm a psycho.

So my mind goes to what made me do that. I'm just drunk. I'm like, what was going on? Yeah I'm a psycho. So my mind goes to what made me do that. Not I was just drunk. I'm like, what was going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the context, please? Yeah, what's the context? And they were like, you just kept saying you just want to go to bed.

And I was like, oh, now that makes sense to me. Like I'm tired. I'm drunk as shit. Y'all are touching me and putting me in gounds and fucking with me. And I'm like, just, if you would just let me sleep. Right, right, right. This would be over with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like where? We put you in a bed. You're like, shut the fuck up. Think these handcuffs off me. That's fucking hilarious. Spitting on a nurse because you're tired. Yeah, that's how a baby does.

I was like, you were too, too. You were too grumpy for your nags. It was nap time. Yeah. And they said my, my, my, my blood alcohol that was 3.9. God damn. Four. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, yeah. A nice close to 4%. I mean, I called my Atlanta friends proud. Yeah. And my boyfriend was so disappointed. Yeah. It was like I called him called him like, I woke up in the hospital that I'm not and we're talking we're laughing. And I get on the phone. He's just looking at me with

this like a star gas face, a stern as way. And he's like, that's he was. Yeah. And the way he was behaved. Yeah. But... That would be awesome, just a complete, you both turn out gay, the high school relationship. I feel like that probably happens in like... That happens a lot. Drama. Yeah, that happens with theater kids, probably.

Like a theater tech girl that's building the sets. And the star who's doing fucking ballet. probably like a like a theater tech girl that's building the sets and the the star who's doing fucking ballet and then honestly after that I thought I thought like oh man I'm mad invincible that's a take away my blood on the And all I need it was a nap essentially Hmm time to put on a bow Jackson's yours and start eating pussy Send me back to Atlanta That's like getting that's how you become a stud Love it dude, that's fucking awesome

Well look you got it we can talk about a bunch of shit But I do feel like I want your I want you tackling our our colors problems I was time for me because I I can there's tons of shit. Yeah, yeah, let's get you a little Let's get your vice after that story of course now that's to show to show what a what a I talk it and I live exactly exactly the show the background To show your bona fides as a Expert and someone people should listen to you you wake up handcuffed to a hospital. It's like I'm now We're not like doing real work. So one job is to like have actual life experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

be like saying shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was like, you gotta, I got you some drugs. You gotta fight with the police. You've got to get, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. You gotta get out here and get some mess. Get some mess. Well, you know, have some horrific relationships, yeah, embarrass yourself sexually. That's more of my area of expertise. I have no shortage of that. Yeah, so why don't we fucking take some call. And by the way, we should say the special, we didn't say, specials out now

on HBO. Go watch it. Salute me, salute me salute me shoot me walk a fam big walk the hell yeah yeah it's fucking awesome yeah man I just felt like that was the energy I was no one I was in the boat so we go watch it right now it's streaming on max so on H as an HBO comedy special and let's get some fucking advice from our friend Sam here It's streaming on max so on H as an HBO comedy special And let's get some fucking advice from our friend Sam here. Oh, this And a dream. Oh, yeah, yeah, let's get our friend to do this. Should we pause here? You want to what do you want? What do you want to drink? What you got? We have a we have a little bar here folks. We're gonna take a we're gonna take a liquor break and be right back. Bar break, bitch. Yeah And we're back folks that story about

waking up handcuffed made Sam nostalgic for boost. Yeah, she's got a little tequila ginger going Which is a great one by the way Yeah, yeah, it's straight to it. It's beautiful because it's I remember I did want I dated a lot of alcoholics in my early 20s And one of them put me on to tequila ginger. So I got that puts me back to when I was 24 living in Living in a three like a having a $300 Bedroom in Baltimore, but just fucking broke a shit working at a paint store But getting some of the best pussy of my life.

So, I'm happy to. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm in a good mood, Sam's in a good mood. He's gonna start whacking his dick. I'm gonna start beating all of that. We're gonna take a jack off break after it. And we're the R2 vices, booze, jacking off. One alcoholic, one pervert on the pod

I'll just his for their first call baby What's uh, Elvis? guest what's going on? so question I've been trying to get a date with this girl for a while right Finally get her I'm I'm listening one night and she says let's get drinks. I hustle the dough meters it's like it's like one thirty amp and I get there, hit it off with it, have a great time. Just my type. I don't like to you know get attached after a first date but

we're hitting it off and vice-me-back to her place we get back and I'm just having a great time you know eventually getting bed shut off fast and the furious and uh I've gotten positive for like years before as well making out everything tells me to go get a condom on my car I get it come back Tells me to go get a condom on my car. I get it, come back, and I cannot get hard. What? I can make so many excuses, but it just wasn't happening, you know? And uh... So I just start going down on it and doing all that, you know, fun stuff.

She was big in that, right? Still, I just could not get hard and uh eventually I kind of did you know got it in oh yeah singlish you enjoyed it but you can imagine I'm in my head about it like you fucking dumb ass you know I mean so I feel like it ended all right. But do you think the 20 minutes of soft talk was a deal like just a question thought you might laugh about it. Yeah. Appreciate your life. Take care.

Love the pod. Love you guys. See you. Buddy. 20, if 20 minutes of soft, cock is a deal breaker, I will never find love. I've logged, I've logged at least 1000 minutes of softcock. It's a woman I want to fuck. I have done that exact, you know how many times I've just, I just done that same move of like eating pussy and then like trying to jack your dicks, clan destinely while you eat pussy and you're praying

and you know it's not gonna happen and then it shit gets kinda hard and you mush it in. And yeah, I've been where you are hundreds of times. This isn't even, you're, there was one girl, I couldn't get hard. And she assumed my soft dick was my hard dick. Oh no. And this is how nice women are, right?

She assumed my soft dick was my hard dick. Meaning my dick is two inches. I don't even know how fucking little my soft dick is I've never measured it. My hard dick's not to talk about. But she thought my soft dick was my fully hard dick so I had a micro penis. She came back and we dated for months after that. My dick got hard

the second time, but that's how much leeway many straight women will give you. Now some will throw you to the world. That's summer. You're in the group chat. You're fucked, but it's definitely not a deal breaker. I can't, you know, for my, for my as a soft cock man, not a deal breaker whatsoever, especially because first experiences are always weird anyway. Yeah. You know? I would.

Yeah. Did you ever deal? This is a big advantage in the lesbian community. Your dick is usually in a bag of some, a satchel or a backpack and it's hard already when you get it out. Would you get out of its carrying case? Yeah. That's a big, something you don't out, would you get out of its carrying case? That's a big, something you don't have to deal with anymore.

Stay hard. Yes, stay hard. A lot of things seem to be. Yeah, that, you know what? We should do something where all strap-ons have like a, you press a button and 95% of the time it's hard, but 5% it just gets soft. Oh, like we have yeah

Just say you know what it's like to put a 60% hard dick into a woman and how much you really can't pull back at all You have the kind of really yeah, you're almost dancing a salsa But yeah, I think this guy's okay. What do you think, Sam? Yeah, I mean, he was eating the box. He was trying to turn it up in other ways. And I think it's mostly what you're saying. Like, the first time is awkward. Now, I don't eat people who hold that too heavy. I guess you're like, this is something crazy.

You know what I mean? Yeah, and also, this girl called him to get a drink at 130. She knew what the fuck was up. She wanted to smash. She seems to like, he said he was trying to get a day with her for a while. Is that right, Elders? Yep, he said trying to get a day with her for a while.

So whatever you were doing finally worked, you had a nice, you said you hit it off at the thing. Here's another thing to think about. Most, if you talk to like girls that you hook up with, most guys are bad at fucking. It's a low bar. It's like learning the woman is a huge part of being able to fuck her. So I think that's a lot of it too.

It's just like you just don't know each other and it's just awkward. But he at least he's eating pussy. That's what I'm saying. I think he's going to be fine. I think you're fine. He's still winning and he didn't make a big deal Like he wasn't like screaming at his

It's hard Shit he played it smooth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You know, you fit you that's right you stayed in you hung in the pocket you take a couple shots We still got the ball out because something is beware they start sitting on the edge of bed Shit because something is beware, they start sitting on the edge of bed. I'm sober and shitting, you're like, all right. Hey, look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I haven't given myself some pep talks in the bathroom. Like, I gotta go to the bathroom twice in seven minutes.

And I'm just in there hitting my dick on the sink, like, come on! Wake up! God damn it! Why are you doing this to me? I think it's just me. Did he just hang in there and suck some titties? Yeah, yeah, oh, believe me. The suck some titties and jack-off special.

They should call that the Stavros, Ali. I'm gonna call that the Stavros. Stuck in titties and beating off. That's my move. That's my patented move. All right, buddy, you're gonna be fine. Don't worry. I'll just hit us with another one, bud. Hey, scobby, so I just sent in a voicemail, but I realized I didn't really add enough detail. Okay, and I know that you always have

clarifying questions after someone at the more story always have clarifying questions after someone at the more the go for the story. Basically, I am a 22 year old female. I am set to get married next month to my siya. I think it was also 22. We've known each other since we were about 13. We've never done anything sexual, which is pretty different for me because the girl is a freak.

So, that's what I'm saying. I'm very confident in my sexual skills. There's no problem there. My issue is, since I am getting married, I want our first time to be just the best. Like, off the chart, I want to blow everybody out of the water that he's ever had since. So I just want to come advice from you. You know, I'm pretty sure you've tried a lot of different things and you know, I don't know if you have like a list of things that you're like, oh, I was trying again or that you like, is spanned or not for you. Or is there something wow that some girl did one night and you were like

fucking awesome. Yeah that would really help because I just really want to lay down. I got this please do you I mean thank you. Please I want you to take this but it's crazy me that she thinks she's giving us enough detail. Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about but But go ahead, Sam. There's a lot. There's a lot to talk about. There's also like, she's just to assume, because I mean, look at you.

To assume that you're boyfriend and you the whole way for you want to. Want the same stuff. That's true. That is true. This is a man, you're marrying someone who doesn't want to fuck his fiance. Me and him could not be more different

But see the thing is is no I Think it's more mental shit. She got to do for sure. Well, yeah You did cuz they never put so it's like to blow it It's not like so hidden with the freaky Exactly exactly It's not like, oh, hit him with the freaky, let me follow it. No, exactly, exactly. You know what I'm saying? It doesn't know where, you feel me? Keep it to the right. They didn't know where, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I know you mean, though. You know, I think it's like she knows him and like she got it, she got it, she got it getting his head. You're absolutely right. And here's the thing, you don't need to worry because if you guys haven't fucked and you're just good at fucking, you said you're freak, he's good, first of all he's good,

ostensibly he's not fucking anybody else and you guys are getting married, you've known each other since you're, so let's take it from a micro thing right now. The actual, he hasn't fucked in a while, he's, whatever you do is gonna be awesome, right? Like you don't have to go out there, start with your A plus stuff when, I mean you could, you could just suck him awesome, right? Like you don't have to go out there, start with your A plus stuff,

when I mean, you could just suck them off regularly. I think you're wrong. You think she's gotta go crazy on them? I think it's wedding night. I think he's gotta be with this pussy forever. I think she's gotta show up. She's gotta go crazy. See, this is how men are dumb and they're not women.

You gotta go crazy. and then you tell her back No, yeah, you got a build that's the thing you in my opinion all you got to do is go some Workman style head and pussy get in there nice good You just give just give him the goods like The basics done very well. I think you gotta know the brutality. That's what I'm saying. Okay, that's fair.

That's why I'm a person like that. Cause for me, it's like I would for you go crazy on me, do all this crazy shit cause it's so wedding night. I'm like, whoa, she's really showed up the fuck. Yeah. Oh, me, this gonna be my pussy forever. It's like me, I can have it. Okay, that's fair.

Inside out, inside out. And whichever way. And it's a special occasion. And then you have my nose wide open, like damn, and then she come with to like special occasion and they have my like nose wide open like Damn it's been and then she come with to like regular head and I'm like feeling I'm like oh now I need to get Put it back to that level I see I see busting on for me. I'm not so okay. I see you're saying it's like she sets the bar for what the best version Of her pussy is then we go to real life. Yeah, but he's always chasing that dragon. And maybe you get that level to see three or four times in your name.

I see that, that's okay. I like what you're saying, that's, I see that. I see that. I'm just, okay, can we, since we've kind of talked about the mentality and then maybe we'll go back in the specifics, I'd like to know what the fuck is going on here? She's 22. Why not?

They've known each other as they were 13, right? So they're like friends. Yeah. This is strange to me. It's like clearly, he's fucked. Maybe I want some, let's say the marriage. Grow up. I mean, I hate to be in the military.

He's in the military. He's in the military. She said he's going away to to or he's away at oh did she did I miss that? Did you just completely make that up? I didn't know about a military? What the fuck are you talking about? Just a completely like you'd even say word that sounds like military You didn't even say a word that sounds like military. It's like, um. Like, okay, so like this one time, I'm not gonna know. I'm not gonna say that.

Super free. It's put all types of crazy box on me. But like very early, she was like, and then she did some shit that was like, whoa. And then forever, I was like, you're like, I gotta get there. But I can't have that every day. But that was also like men, it was also, she played with my head first. Hmm.

I think, okay, I see what you're saying. He is in the military. He is. He said in the first call, which they also. Do we need the first call? Is that, do we need that call as well? Because she did say I left out some stuff. No, I see, I don't, I don't know.

Basically, it's just, all she left out was that they were in the military or that he was in the military from the first one. So, okay, all this, so that she do got it really good about, I think, cause he's going away. I just, I'm just, I'm a little confused. Are they virgins or what? She's not a virgins.

She's clearly not a virgins. She's a virgins. And I don't think he's a virgins because she says she wanna be better than any pussy he ever had. Right, right. Damn, that's crazy if you like already fucked before. I know.

But then you start dating someone after you've already fucked in your life and you're waiting to get married. I know. That's crazy. It really is. It's, it's, I don't waiting to get married. I know. That's crazy. It really is. It's, I don't get it either, but I mean. Patrice had a joke about that where, oh, oh, I think it was at the DCM prof.

I don't remember if it was Mr. Peer, which one where it was like, some girl said she was celibate, but the cheat already had sex before and he was just like, so you've already fucked, but I, I don't get pussy. I'm supposed to be okay with that. Now, they have agreed on this. So it's like it's not what we're talking about here. But that, to me, is a little, I'm a little thrown by that, I guess.

And look, whatever, that's my, whatever, you wanna do that, you wanna make it special, that's one thing. But also, what did we just talk about on a last call? The first time's kinda weird. It is. That's what you're up against here did we just talk about on a last call, the first time's kind of weird. That's what you're up against here. And that's why I'm like, that's why I don't, that's why I err on the side of,

we haven't fucked in a while, or we haven't, neither one of them has had sex in a while. You're kind of, you've kind of backed yourself into a corner where this is, She's confident though. And I love the confidence. And you hear in a voice, she wants to get the job done, but it's also like, it is a little bit of like knowing each other

and getting into a little bit of a rhythm, like even what you're talking about, where it's like your girl kind of like fucked with your head and kind of, you start a baseline and then you can go from there. That's why I'm a little confused here. It'd be one thing if you guys had hooked up a little bit or you just kind of knew the lay of the land, I mean, do you, have you seen his penis?

Yeah, like, what's going on here, like? You guys don't want world stuff. Right. Do you have, you made him come, do you? In any way, yeah, yeah, do you know what he's in to if you talked about any of that? Because if not, I hate to say it. If you haven't done any of that,

this is a bit of an exploratory time situation here where I guarantee this man is gonna bust fast. That's another thing. You don't wanna be like, it's like using, it's like using your finishing move on like a level one. It's like, it's like, it's like, I didn't think about that. You know where it's like,

no, you could win with a one punch. You don't have to save up your special for this. This is like level one penis you're dealing with right now. It's not boss penis. You don't have to do your fucking ultimate or whatever the fuck. So, that's the hard part. You guys have never fucked.

You can't really get, you don't give yourself a lot of space to really, you know, give them the top notch freaky as shit, because you don't even know what is he, you know, is he in the butt stuff, is he in to get, you know, is like, what's his thing? You don't even know, so that's why I'm saying, if you got to do anything go with the like a little poo poo platter, a little sampler of everything. You know what I mean? I like that. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. So you know, definitely some four-play. Definitely. You got to suck some dick all that, you know, everything, you know, take a take a little take a some balls a little bit If you want to now I'm not saying you got a lick his butt, but you know, maybe you get low on the balls

You know really try just I would say just try entry level Of everything but done well and that's really what is it's about enthusiasm and you clearly want this to do You know what I mean? So it's like I think you're fine either way personally This is solid and I think like as you guys learn I think that's when Next time next special occasion or anniversary or something like that You can set yourself up to really give him the like chase the dragon ultimate pussy that that Sam you're talking about And that he can then be hooked on for the rest of his life But right now you're on a fact-finding mission and the other thing to think about is like

Don't you're building this up a little bit where I don't want her to be disappointed Because you have to think about it's the first time. It's always weird. We just said that You guys you're putting a lot of pressure on it because you're kind of, that's kind of my biggest thing with the weight for marriage thing, it's like whatever. It's not the religious shit for me. It's like, you're putting all this like psychological pressure.

We all remember what it was like when we were virgins. We thought it was gonna be this insane thing and it was kind of weird. Yeah, yeah. No one fucks for the first time and it's like, oh, wow, you're just like, that was kind of, that was awesome, but it was strange. You know what I mean? So it's wow, you're just like, that was kind of, that was awesome, but it was strange. You know what I mean?

So it's like, and you're gonna be at a fucking wedding. You're gonna have, you're gonna have a belly full of cake. You're gonna be dancing. You're gonna be like, drunk and shit. You know, it's like, that's not, post wedding is never that you're not like, just take wedding out of it. And imagine if you and your fiance went and hung out all day,

like busy all day, stressful day, a lot has to go right. Big heavy meal, drinking a ton, it's like. It doesn't sound like the best. That's not the best recipe for fucking. You're not, where, in fact, here's what I'm gonna tell you, ready? Okay, I think I got it.

First time straight, just regular like good, enthusiastic, a little dick-socking, just whatever. He's going to bust. You're going to be fine. You guys will be tired from the wedding, all that stuff. Morning after, maybe you can ratchet it up just a little bit, but you're really morning after you find, now we're doing fact-finding. Now we're like, what is he into? And if you really want to get you're actually going to have a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of

a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of

a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of first time. Like now it's just you two. I'm disagreeing. I have a whole nother idea. Okay. We're attacking us from all angles baby girl. We're looking for you. We're looking for you. So that's kind of so then anyway that's that's what I've kind of landed on here.

It's like if you want to do anything a little special first time around you're going to need a little distance from it. And I think the honeymoon is a safer place than the wedding night. But go ahead counterpoint Sam At the reception take him in the bathroom suck his dick and let him fuck you in the ass And then just go continue the night You know what that fuck that's fucking awesome That is fucking so cool because he's not gonna be He's gonna be nervous too

That's what you do. That's a great one. Yeah, he might bust in your mouth so fast You might even have to get your ass fucked, but who knows? That's fucking awesome and it's like a cool naughty secret YouTube will have forever That you nailed it. We took us a while, but we figured it out And that way you could just kind of wedding night, you got it over with and then you can ratchet up from there. That's great. Good luck.

Let us know how it goes. Call back. That's, now that's good. This, you know, it feels good to help people over. We worked with that one. We really did. We really, but we honestly did. We thought about ourselves. Yeah, yeah, we really, but we honestly did. We thought about ourselves.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We brought a lot of. We need that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Our one was like, what would I like? Exactly. No, that sounds awesome.

That happened to me. That'd be so sick. Now, some blow shit. You guys are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The white puzzle. That is cool. When someone surprises you with how I'm a little bit more nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous.

I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. I'm a little over two years now just the other day got all up and arms just that me because she's in this grad program with his

girls that I to hook up with so she started berating me with all these questions. I knew she didn't know that I had a prior like putting her relationship but he knew that I had kind of felt around with this girl for a little bit and And then she helped some sort of parade and use all the questions of like, what kind of shit that would be that it would be like, like a muck or not or whatever. And she was getting all jealous. And I just want to ask her some advice, somehow to like approach that with her or if I phone or do I just like, why to her?

Like, I don't see that't want to lie to her but you know just let me know what you think love short boys. Hmm okay so now this is okay I know now I would say the safest bet here, I mean, grad program, you're what, in your mid-20s. What you should say is like, look, we dated briefly before I knew you, it's not a big deal, like this is a coincidence, we don't keep in touch. It's not like he's like, she's mad

because he's talking to a girl he looked up with. She's just mad, he fucked a different girl in the past. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, it's stupid. It's dumb. So it's like don't hide in this. Like you're worried about this because she has elevated this. She has made this like a problem

because of her own hangups. But you can't don't like. You can't go with her. Exactly, don't match that energy because that, you almost are agreeing implicitly that it's a big deal. It's not a thing. You might have already kind of made it too much of a big deal

by not immediately being like, oh yeah, we used to date very casually. We looked up a couple times, I didn't know you. I thought you felt like you said she knew about this girl. It just happens to be now, she's in the class with her, that she's more concerned Yeah, I actually I couldn't tell with that because I think you know transcription error But I think like yeah elders did do you know like did you screened it like?

Did she know about her before or what? It seems to me like Well, I don't know because he says he's He says she she knew that he used to like her cup with it. So then what the fuck yeah, I don't know if she knew of that girl. What else knows so she knew and now she's actually This is what I feel yeah, she's been like crazy. Yeah, that's what I think because now she's around a girl Right, maybe the girls hot and maybe girls cool and maybe the girls. She wants to fuck her. Yeah, she's like

Threatened it something away and like that's what it seems like at least the bar. Maybe she wants to fuck her. Yeah, she's like, Threat ended some kind of way. And like, that's what it seems like at least. It does, no, I think you're right. I misread it. I thought she didn't know, but she did know about her. And now she just wants specifics. And honestly, you can just be like, hey, like, it was just a girl that I hooked up with

a few times before I knew you. Like, it wasn't anything serious. Yeah, it would be hooked up, but it was not like, you know, that's it. And if she keeps going at you about this kind of thing, that's a big red flag in terms of her own jealousy. Yeah, thank you. I was about to say, what are we gonna call this lady a bitch?

She's a bitch. She's being a bitch for sure. Like, it's flip it, right? If like, if an ex, if like, you're in a class with your current girlfriend's ex, and you meet some guy, if you're in a class with your current girlfriend's X, and you meet some guy, and you're like, all right, whatever. But then you meet the guy, and then you go back to and you're like, did you suck us penis?

Yeah, that's so weird. That would be weird, dude. That would mean it's so fucking weird, and it seems like such a shitty position to put you in, dude, because they've been together for two years. And they say, yeah, it's an inexpensive, she already knew it. It's like, well, there's nothing I could give you at this point. Right, dude, because like, and they've been together for two years. It's like, yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like, there's nothing I could give you at this point.

Right, right, right. I can go, I can satisfy whatever's happening with you in this situation. Totally. You know what I mean? Like, whatever it is that you need, you actually don't need it from me.

Yes, absolutely. She got cheated on like in high school or something. Something else is going on. Yeah, for sure. So, yeah, I mean, there's nothing you can do about this except be like, hey, like this really is not a big deal at all. And if she continues to make it a big deal, that's exactly.

You had to think about how hard it is. Yeah, unfortunately, that is the case. And hopefully her done. I mean, where are people's friends in a situation like this? Like, because you you gotta think this, it's crazy for this to go from the classroom to directly to him. Usually a situation like,

like if I, something this happened to me, right? And like, look, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna pretend like if I see somebody in X-Fucked, I'm gonna be like, that's awesome, right? Yeah, it might piss me off for a second. I might be like, fuck that guy, I don't know if I'm gonna do that. But you complain about it to your friends, and it dies there. Imagine telling your friends and be like,

I think I'm gonna ask her how big his dick was. Yeah. Your friends are gonna be like, what are you talking about dude? That's like fuck of me up. You're out of your mind. Like your friends are gonna be like, stop. Like she came home, like did you suck her tears? That's right.

What? What is happening? All right, can we not talk about this as a girl I looked up with? And you know, so that's our advice buddy. I'm sorry, you're in a tough, this is strange position, but yeah, I mean, this is not, you actually did absolutely nothing wrong here.

You're fully, you're fully absolved and don't cave and don't cave and get gaslit into feeling guilty here. That's what feels like it's going on. I don't like it. Yeah, I don't like it either. So good luck and hopefully she comes to her senses or maybe, and you know what, if she's too much of a bitch, go back and fuck that girl, that'll teach her.

Now again, that'll teacher. Now again, I like. That's like the self-fulfilling prophecy. It's like I wasn't going to do this until you were being a fucking bitch about it, but now I'm fucking that girl again. Yeah. Hit us with a fucking fresh question, Big LD. Hey, Stov. I'm just calling some, I'm in a bit of a pickle and a dating situation. I was like, kind of interested in this guy from high school, where it's been like six or seven years, we're both way hotter and I could tell we were pushing each other. So I was like, kind of down down to make moves on the sky, but then his older brother swooped it

and I get a little distracted. And we end up hooking up. And he knows that I've hooked up with his brother. But I'm not really that interested in the brother, to be honest. And this has been months ago. Oh, he's So I'm wondering, can I go for this guy? I'm like, I'm really gonna have to go for it. He doesn't have social media or anything.

Can I just say, it's refreshing to get a dirtbag girl. Yeah. Usually we just get dickhead guys who are fucking, you know, this is awesome. That you, I mean, you're obviously your piece of shit. I mean, you can't fucks it. While you, I mean, you're obviously your piece of shit. I mean, you can't fuck some, while trying to fuck someone, you fuck his brother. And then you're like, I'm gonna let that cool off. I like it.

And then I mean, yeah, it's all, I respect you, but I just wanna say, this is nice. This is a, it's a refreshing change of pace. But I'm also like, with refreshing is like, she's still doing this very much like a woman. Like I'm being a piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me how to move, but she's like, is it okay?

Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah. You still sat. Yeah. You think it's her right? Yeah, it's like, is that okay? Yeah, you end up together and he just for the rest of his life and those use, your kids know you sucked uncle Mike off

Anyway, let's let's let's hear out So this is gonna have to be like Find him in a bar and really actually try not just like drop into a DM I'm gonna have to go for it because he doesn't have social media or anything So this is gonna have to be like to go for it because he doesn't have social media or anything. So this is going to have to be like, find him in a bar and really actually try not just like drop into a DM. So it, like, do you think I have a chance with this guy? Like, if some girl was like fucking your brother in the past, would you still be down or is this just embarrassing? Like are people gonna think that I'm just like trying

to collect brothers? What do you think? Because I mean, I don't really care all that much what people think, but I don't want him to think I'm being like a creep or anything trying to fuck him and his brother at the same time or anything. Cause I'm not, they're just both tapping to be hot. I gotta be honest with you.

It doesn't feel like that's totally off the table. From what we know about you, you were trying to fuck him, you fucked this brother instead. Because he's hot. Right now, right now you're not planning on fucking both of them. But what if somebody broaches the subject? It doesn't. Yeah.

To end with that is wild. To be so sincere. I I really try to make this work And I'm to end with but they're both bad. Yeah, but it's like both of those bottom line Yeah, and again respect. I love hearing a dirt bag woman call in but let's be clear You are a dirt bag for this but like I I do well. I don't I don't want to Let's say hypothetically my brother hooked up with somebody and I fucked her later. I don't wanna, let's say hypothetically, my brother hooked up with somebody, and I fucked her later, I wouldn't give a shit,

because here's the thing, I probably am not gonna end up with that girl. That's not the problem. I'm just trying to get my, like, here's the thing, you can definitely also fuck this guy, but I don't know that you're gonna be able to date this guy. I have the way of this guy. But that's not even a problem.

See, I think it'll be totally different. If it was like, I'm out in my life, I stumbled upon the brother. We have a connection, I fucked the brother. Then I see you later in my life. That's not what happened. She was actively trying to fuck one brother. And then met the other brother.

I was like, oh, he's hot too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is right here. That's different. That's so different. A cock in the hand is worth two in the bush. Ah. Ah. Yeah. Yeah, a cock in the hand on what your goals are here.

The biggest thing we need to know is how does she meet the brother? Does she meet the brother to the brother? When she's clinked up, how did this even happen? Go up out of this because she just popped up or something. She's something very vague, didn't she? Yeah. She said, but then his older brother swoops in and I get a little distracted. How do you get me? That's what I mean.

Were you at the family reunion, scoping it with binoculars all along? That's what I want to know. And he just comes by and talks to you. I want to know how those looking up with the brother happened. Yeah, that's true. Um, but so let's leave, well, I'll leave with this. We think you're a bad person. I think you're cool, but bad.

Cool, but bad. Yeah. We also need some more details. You know what, she hasn't done anything bad person. I think you're cool, but bad. Cool, but bad. We also need some more details. You know, she hasn't done anything bad yet. I have to say, it'd be one thing if she was like, she'd look, put yourself in her shoes. If there's a girl you wanted to fuck, and it's just not popping off, but her also hot sister tries to fuck you.

I know, being that made a decision though. That's true, exactly. Well, but. But in the girl trying, I did this. I don't know that I could circle back on this. Okay, I will say, if I, if there's two girls that I want to fuck and they happen to be sisters, and I'm not trying to date anyone, I would try,

but I'm also like this woman, a piece of shit. So it's like, yeah, you're right, you should just make a decision. I don't think there's a moral problem to fucking a set of siblings, but there is a moral problem, but there is a problem in fucking. The second is a moral problem.

The second is a moral problem. The second is a moral problem. The second is a moral problem. The second is a moral problem. The second is a moral problem. The second is a moral problem. The second is a bad person. I take that back, man. I don't know you. A horny woman that is driven by more animal areas. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep.

You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep.

You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. You don't sound like a creep. I won't say a bad person. You say I'm not like a bad person. I take that back, man. I don't know you. A horny woman that is driven by her and the creed. That's what's bothering me is you keep saying, well, I'm not this and I'm not that and you are that.

And I just want you to own that. Right, right, that's true. Well, she's not trying to collect brothers. That's not your intent, but the facts could be presented in that way. That's the thing that, okay in that way. You're being a creep. Yeah, you're being a... That's the thing that, okay, that's my problem. You're being a bit...

This is what I need from women. Cause like, as bros, you come to your bros, you're like, hey man, I'm about to do some creep shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for sure. For sure. I'm about to do, Zaza, and you just put it in that world. That's a good point.

Just say you being a creep, sure. That's a good point. Cause if I fucked up a girl, sure. That's a good point. Because if I fucked a girl and then I was, and I was about to go with her, her sister, I would text the boys, I'd be like, guess what I'm about to do, he he he. Yeah. I'm being bad.

I'm being bad. I'm being bad. I'm bad. That. That. You're right, you're right. So yes, own it and you're free to do whatever you want, but just know what you're doing Yeah, and you are definitely on some minor creeps. And listen, we support that more female creeps as far as I'm concerned

More women sucking off the bros. That's good. That's good for business Give that the applause Fuck give that to the applause haha fuck what up stave uh... this is nick i'm in uh... spoke and washington i want to advise from you so uh...

i do this girl per about uh... a year and a half now and uh... we met here in spoke amber uh... back in uh... back in uh... uh... march she had to move across the country for a job We met here in Spokaneberg back in March. She had to move across the country for a job. She actually had to move to Baltimore. It wasn't a, you know, she was leaving me

and like dragging me along type name, it was kind of, you know, she was forced out of her job and kind of had to find a position somewhere else. So, plan is for me to move to Baltimore and Jane, where to be with her. However, you know, and this girl is, you know, we talk about the future, you know, I've flown to her home of Hawaii to meet her parents and her family and all that. So, we're very serious. However, in the last few months, we've been fighting quite a bit and I'm not quite sure if it's because the, you know, sometimes relationships, you know, they just,

you know, you become, or realize that you're incompatible, or if it's because of the distance that we have been between us the last few months. So I'm kind of torn if I should actually move out there. Another reason is because you know I'm only a year and a half out of grad school and I'm building a career here and there's not a lot of career opportunities in my field in Baltimore. So I'm a little bit torn. You know, should I move to Baltimore man be with this woman who I could most likely spend my future with and compromise to my career early on or should I let the girl go and stay in my current city and continue building my career. A classic classic.

Oh yeah. Let me know sovie appreciate it. Keep up the good work. Love the podcast. Thanks guys. Yeah, this is some classic shit. I mean, there's some factors, right? How successful are you? Like, you're talking about building your career, what kind of track are you on? Like, like, that's part of it. And then you kinda, it's as cold as it is to say, you kinda, you have to do the cost benefit analysis

of like, are you successful enough that the job is more important than this person? Like, yeah, what field are you in? The fighting is an interesting wrinkle. Because, I don't know, do you feel like you fight more in a long-distance relationship? A lot of times, I would say, the distance.

Yeah. I say, I have a definitive answer to this. Okay, hit us with it. You stay. Stay. Do not move. Okay. Do not move. Do not move, bro.

It's gonna go all bad. I'm telling you this straight up. It's gonna go all bad. You're already fighting the distances of things. Probably I would assume. If it was as smooth as he said prior to, the distance is just weird. You're not talking as much.

You don't know what the other person is doing. When you're busy there and not, when they're busy. They're not it creates an un it creates a distance Yeah, and a lot of times fighting springs out of that But then on top of that if you move and give up what you love you're in somewhere you're unsatisfied She's living she's thriving doing what you're right right now tacked on her not being able to find yourself already in the midst of fighting to press it's to shit. There's a recipe of getting cheated on here for sure. Where like your spirit sink. She's doing great at work.

If it's some shit that's really meant to be then there's no reason it can't survive. Both of you building your careers and doing what you need to do to set yourself up on a stable ground. And if you need to get into some type of relationship counseling, if that's serious for you to try to figure out how to navigate that and make a plan for that, then do that. But to just throw your shit away to go with touch to somebody. I know. Yeah, that's actually that's a great point where it's like, yeah, you don't even have to, you're both relatively young, right?

You just got out of grad school. So you're, you know, mid, well, who knows? So these motherfuckers go to grad school till they're 30, but like you're probably relatively young. And yeah, that's, that's right. It doesn't have to be one or the other. You can be in a long term, a lot of people are in the long term relationship

in their 20s while they're figuring out career shit, family shit, whatever. I would definitely say before you move, move, so you gotta, you're moving to Baltimore in January. Have you visited? Have you spent any like, you know, have you spent any kind of time there? Like, I've had friends who have been in long distance

relationships, some works I'm having, and the ones that work, they would visit each other, but they wouldn't just be a weekend, it wouldn't be like a vacation, it would be like, I'm gonna visit for two weeks. We're gonna go grocery shopping. Yeah, we're gonna be that far. We're gonna do regular shit.

I'm going to see if I like this place. You definitely can't move without doing that a little bit But I like what Sam saying where it's like look Build your shit up and who's to say you know, you said there's not a lot of opportunity in Baltimore Keep monitoring that job like may if some awesome opportunity pops up and by the way Baltimore DC There's a lot of shit around there that you can kind of, I don't know what your industry is, you know, but, you know, monitor that shit. Is there anything close by?

Is there something that's, you know, maybe in the area, but you guys could both move to maybe a suburb that's kind of split to distance between it? Yeah, it doesn't have to be, you don't have to necessarily move if you're not. That's a huge life chain. Yeah. And the fighting is an interesting thing. I kind of, yeah, I would say you have to kind of go visit

and I think you have to talk it out. And unless, if you're moving just for her and you don't have, like you don't have any job lined up You don't have any of that shit it can go bad for sure so Yeah, dude Countsings are also a very good idea because you also want to show if you care about it You want to show that you're serious. Yeah, this isn't because this is also a very easy way for a coward to break up with someone Yes, it's very easy to be like oh, I'm just gonna build my god give me a year and then you just Start fucking on the side. You stop answering face times.

But it's good to be like, no, I'm serious, but I just can't do this for my job. That's interesting. And that's what I mean. And put those tools in place to make sure you're creating systems to see each other, support each other, stay connected to one another. So it's not just an abandonment of the relationship, but you also, stay connected to one another. So it's not just like an abandonment of the relationship,

but you also don't got to abandon yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because you're right, that is such a classic move when someone, and then it's like that person gets so sullen, and the other person feels so good about themselves because they're earning more careers going good, and they're like, why are you ruining that person? You're killing the body.

You're killing everything. It's like, yeah, I fucking moved here? You're killing a bite. You're killing everything. It's like, yeah, I fucking moved here for you. And I'm not having a good time. That's exactly what happened. That's a classic. You're so right about that. Eld, what are we looking at, man? You got a nice one to take us home?

Or I think I got just the thing. Just the thing? And by the way, go watch, again, go watch the special guys before our last call on HBO right now. Salute me or shoot me. Stream that shit. Stream that shit. Eldest, take us home, baby.

I'm Scottie Eldest and Jeff, and I'm in cat. We know what, let's pause right here. Cat is the first person to speak to me. I'll just say, thank you, Cat. Eldest, did you say all our girl collars for when we had Sam on? On this round of screening, I just found a bunch of... Wow, okay, there we go. Yeah, I'm like, this is not what the show is like usually, Sam, it's usually like a bunch of guys. You're like, how do I get pussy? You're putting on a more diverse front. I'm like, what the fuck? It's like I go to an agency and they forgot all the legos.

And it doesn't even matter what department. It's like sit there. It's a foreigner. She said there. She's a foreigner. Hi, I'm Stolly, I, you're the important. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, Scotty, eldest and guest. My name's Kat, and I'm not Vegas. I just wanted to say thank you for all the inspiration.

Listening to you talk about titties, I was one of the last things that inspired me to go get my titsuits done. Nice. And then, four years ago, and my tits were so little that they look like normal boobs afterwards or literally sitting with bags of frozen cauliflower on my boobs and I had gone in today and have bigger boobs so anyways you know questions but just want to thank you like to love you. Bye. Chat, we're really happy for you. We're pro big ass tears on this podcast.

And anything we can do to kind of shepherd that, we really, we take, this is really, like, this feels good. We, first we told the girl to suck her husband's dick in the bathroom at her wedding. And now, cash is calling you to let us know her tits are bigger than they were before. And that's the kind of calls we like to hear. She's got the frozen cauliflower.

She's got the frozen cauliflower on her titties. Perfect. Let those defrost, put them in some hot sauce. You know what I mean? Make some buffalo cauliflower. Trink yourself. Yeah, that's just, it's just nice to know we're making a difference. So if anybody else got their titties done, please call in, send in a picture, whatever

you want to do, we'll look at them. But thanks, you know what, that's a really nice last one, that honestly put a smile on my face. I'm going to be feeling, this must be like when a guidance counselor gets a poor kid into Harvard. This is what it feels like for me where it's like we got a girl in Vegas bigger titties. Thank you everybody for losing Sam. Thank you. This was so great. It was fun. Yeah. Hell yeah. How'd it blast? Go watch the special guys. You on the road at all? I will be, but I don't know where I'm going to be. I'll be out there.

Just show me out there. We're out there. The fat rascal tour is starting in a couple weeks. That rascal. The final leg of the fat rascal tour, we're going to be in fucking Cincinnati, that opened it up. I need to name my tour right now.

Whatever name you say, I'll use it. Hold on. Not titties in, the titties in tour. I'll use it. Fuck, hold on. What are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are All of that. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in.

The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in.

The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. The tinny's in. Get your shit sponsored by Booz Company. Yeah, the next thing.

I might just call it a episode. There we go. We're gonna work on that. We need some pizza. We're gonna work on that. But folks, thanks for listening. And we'll talk to you soon. Bye-bye guys.

Play a sad old. I love it sweet, it's delicious, and I was eating a piece of mango pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off, being like, this actually, one time I don't have to,

I was like, wanna come back with some fruit salad? And I thought it was smooth, and then some girl, after she fucking was like, that was so weird. You asked me to come over for a For example, I was like, I don't know. I wasn't dry and I didn't I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an Effort Dijak. Well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango and I've Often times I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. Yeah, and I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know?

I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest. You know I'm an ED, I've tried them all from the gas stations to other services services mango Rx now has a new ED pill that is game-changing, okay? Really?

Taste like mango my friend delicious just like it and they have a nice proprietary because like I said I've tried them all out and they got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever. We're talking zwing! You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing! That's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom.

It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal I had some mango Rx Broiding in the light. Yes one little gleam one little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks you heard it here first. I Don't yeah, I cuz like I said I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science in here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It is, it was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the

heart making your dick hard science in the field, right? People who have a beautiful goal. Here's their mission. Make America hard again, eldest. They have, you know, let's get, can we get fucking idiot? There you go. Sorry We tried to give it the applause it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go and Look make America hard again. I think on what whatever side of the aisle you're on conservative liberal leftist centrist you could we could all use a harder dick Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks,

all this division in the world would go away, eldest. I think this is such a good product, eldest. I think you might have to change your longstanding opinion on ED medication in general, because look, here's the thing about my ego, Oryx. You might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal. Yeah. All right?

I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very intense. You see me take edible as the food. That's true.

Just because you wanted a little dummy. You wanted a little dummy. I'm not so much to why I had to get high as well. I'm saying you take weed adibles? I've seen you take fiber Edibles where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary a momentary snack I've seen you take thoms on an empty stomach just cuz you wanted to taste and that's how we got elders through the door here with mango RX it's easy folks buying mango buying mango is so easy. Just go to mango rx.com Complete a short and secure telemedicine visit.

You're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over and literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing. Quick and easy. Be sure to use code stav20 to save 20% off your first order. You and your partner are going to love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb.

My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to

walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Airbnb.