Stavvy's World - #46 - David Gborie and Langston Kerman

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

David Gborie and Langston Kerman join the pod to discuss their podcast My Momma Told Me, compare different cultures' conspiracy theories, the conundrum of endless choice, and much more. David, Langston and Stav help callers including a white guy who doesn't know how to embrace his own heritage among his diverse friend group, and a man whose friend is in this doghouse after his religious girlfriend found discovered his OnlyFans subscriptions. Learn to speak a new language with Babbel! Visit https://www.babbel.com/stavvy to get 55% off your subscription. Follow David Gborie on social media: htttps://www.bringdavidaplate.com https://www.instagram.com/coolguyjokes87/ Follow Langston Kerman on social media: https://www.langstonkerman.com/ https://www.instagram.com/langstonkerman/ http://twitter.com/langstonkerman https://www.facebook.com/Langston-Kerman-2289836401136534/ Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes of Stavvy's World at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and

Remember one of the most special times for my family whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification get an Airbnb Welcome everybody to stop these world. We're back 904 800 stop colon We'll solve all your problems. I'm pumped to have my boys in the mix. We got Langston Kern, we got David Bore in the mix. Linda fucking studio. Bob, Harry and boys, thanks for coming through.

Thank you, five guys. Yeah, dude, no, I'm pumped. Langston, I mean, I remember we, you were in your for a while. That's what we basically met. And, boy, we ran them the first time we ever in County, each other, Langstime, I remember you were in your for a while. That's where we basically met. And boy, we ran them the first time we ever in County to each other was just both taking the train at the Denver Airport in the opposite direction.

Yeah. Yeah, because I wanted to be like, yeah, I knew it. Yeah, it was that kind of thing where I was like, yeah, I know you dude, like we had never met. But I was like, yeah, you know, I keep a roll decks of other fat funny comedians You guys at both press your hand to the glass It did yeah, yeah, we had just a couple more seconds I think it meet you. It did, yeah, yeah.

If we had just a couple more seconds, you know. Yeah, that's not a rom-com or the story. I know, I know. But we're ships passing in the night. Yeah. I wiped some cappuccino for a monster like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were jerks me or something?

Yeah, yeah. We were gonna figure it out. I don't know who woulda jerk to, but, you know. It's a fact. It's a fact. Yeah, yeah. That's five space. That's five space.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course, you'd like to say you're the one getting jerked, but nobody knows until they're eye to eye with that dick, because they're going to do. I don't know what you think is a getting jerked. When things are getting jerked and not jerking. Yeah. No one goes, he's like, I'm going to grow up in jerked. I hope Steve Harvey comes out and writes that book. Yeah.

Think like a jerk, jerk like a man. Jerk like a man. Absolutely, I would love that. That's priceless advice. Yeah. That's interesting. But do you like the shirt or should I, you know what, that's not important. What's important is that I tell you and our listeners about our beautiful sponsor, Babel.

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apply. I think I'm going to change back actually. That's really great. But thank you boys for coming on to the to the pod. I'm you know both very funny. And your podcast is fucking awesome. Thank you. My mom told me I love the hook of it's about black conspiracy theories.

Yeah. Because, you know, everyone does, I think like, like, you know, conspiracy theories right now. Well, first of all, something's happened where conspiracy theories have now just fully become Republican or like far right. Which is like, it's never, it always used to be like, that was certainly, it was like,

there was a contingent of those people, you know, very, I mean, and most of those end up being just anti-Semitic conspiracy theories. Oh, I've never seen that before. If you really, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess that's true. I did like, yeah. I see it's out there.

Yeah, no, you're right, you're right. Black people aren't at all. You're right, we got some fair con base. We got some fair con base conspiracy theories probably. So yeah, I mean, that's a nice swath of it. But yeah, it's like, conspiracy theories, I feel like I've got, like, QAnon is kind of mainstreamed them

with weirdly like the Republican party. Yeah. Where it's like, conspiracy, everyone, if you just, if you take any type of person and just get weirder, everyone has their fucking conspiracy theories. Everybody. Yeah. Everybody.

And I mean, honestly, we say it's about conspiracy theories, but I think I don't want to overest that. It's really just like, what do you call it? It's like a cover for us to use hate speech. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you call it? It's like a cover for us to use hate speech Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're we're mostly working to be bigots We can't it without a saying it's not an idea Have an in you can't just be like hey, this is what I think about Boyians. Right, right, right, right.

And boy, do we have a lot of thoughts about Croatians? Come at me. No, I don't think so. And it's, I mean, yeah, it's considered these, but also it's just like weird, like, little customs and superstitions, dude. I think it's a lot of superstitious shit, which is pretty funny. That's the fun of it, I think, is like,

there are so much shit where it's like, oh, I didn't even know that what I've been repeating for 36 years was incorrect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was confronted with, it's an adult being like, hey bro, you're not supposed to say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've just been repeating things that are not true.

Of course. Oh, what are some faves? Where's some faves? Some classic, let's get caught. My personal favorite that we've had, What are some faves? Where are some faves? Some classic ones to get caught. My personal favorite that we've had. Oh, this was a fun one. We once did.

There was somebody who believed that Michael Jackson is the love child of Diana Ross and Smokey Robinson. Oh, that's awesome. That's like a sick. That's like a sick. Secretly, they had an affair during the during the Motown days, made this child, gave it to Joe Jackson, and then handed them off to Joe Jackson because it was like a child of sin. Right.

I would just train that. I'd give my baby to you. I'd be very good at trained among you. Well, it was that's the thing. It's like, yeah, but that's kind of like an offering to Motas. It's just like, here's our, it's like giving a like a baby superhero to fucking Nick Fury or something. You know what Joe Jackson is going to abuse that child

to greatness. It's going to hit his ceiling. The meanest man we need. Let's get the baby to him. Let's get some flying too between like good abuse and then, they're just gonna go to prison of you. Sure, yeah, yeah. It's kind of an art form.

Well, it all hinges on the kid being able to sing. Right. You take that, you take not being able to sing out of it and it's gone, you know? They really thread the needle, I have to say. Like if his kids had no talent, he's just one of the most abusive guys of all time. Yeah, and they grow up to just be like dog fighters Checking on Marlin Jackson

Yeah, I bet he's fighting dogs. I love that it was funny the whole like When you start finding out about, like, when you start finding about all the tertiary jaxons, you know what I mean? Like, it's just, that was a hilarious moment for me because it's like, you know, I just grew up knowing Michael Jackson. And so to like, be like, wait,

there's all these strange like different, and then when, is it Latanya Jackson? Latoya. Latoya, who just started getting the same plastic surgery? Yeah. That was fucking wild. She was just like, I need the same nose. She got her brother.

She was like, all right, people don't even know I'm a sister. So I'm going to start getting the same shit. You're Going on. You got her brother's face and he started doing porn. And it was like, baby girl, you are going through. I missed that. Yeah, that's awesome. Male female?

I think it was more like erotic, more than like, she wasn't like, boning, but she was like showing. No penetration, but showing. Oh, okay, okay, interesting. That is. Showing push is an interesting Rubicon. I don't know. It's like, it's like, you know, either don't show it or get it pounded. Oh, you know, one or the other.

What do you, I don't want to just look at it without. There's a world for, like, we've lost nuance in our society with in terms of pornography. I do think there is a space for soft core porn. I've lost patience for it obviously because it's like, because you're a grown man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was, that should, I do think it filled an interesting part in society for like when you're 13. You know what I mean? You shouldn't be beating off the shit kids have access to, you shouldn't be looking at tips through like a fucking like a veil. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a lean on the camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boy, I'm gonna say something, I'm popular here. I still really like something. Wow. And this day, I know this thing is just fine. That's awesome. Of course, it's a person thing. No, I like that, is just fine. That's awesome. Of course, it's a person.

No, I like that. I like that. What's all right? You know what it is? No, no, I actually really respect this length. And because this is like in a world of like monster energy drink. Yeah. And like people who are, you know, who are doing five hour energies and shit like that,

you're a guy who's like, I have a little Earl Grey tea. Yeah. And that's all the caffeine you need. They overdose it. They overdoses. They give us too much. You know? And it's like I really respect that because we all probably could jack off the tits.

It just wobbling if we kept our discipline and didn't completely just go like. I go for a jog, I jerk off to a lady behind a curtain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a deal for me. It's so quiet. No, I jerk off to a lady behind a curtain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is ideal for me. Yeah, yeah. No, I respect, I really do respect that.

I mean, I'm way too far gone to be able to. But that's honestly what scares me is like, I don't, we talk about this all the time. You have to come up to that, so she's really sick. Don't do that. Don't do that. I don't do that. This guy's vile. I just like real people at all. Okay, and sometimes that's gross.

It should be gross. What we're doing is gross. And that's it should look gross. That's where I fundamentally disagree. I think I think it can look majestic. Interesting. You want to send your ivory tower. I'm about to get dogged out in a set of 11 bags.

And like, who's better? You're not better than me for that. This is very interesting. If you would put out the theory that the way you jack off is a mirror to oneself. Do you have, do you, do you, is this self-hatred being like, I'm disgusting, I'm a fucking piece of shit. I need to see the worst people of all time

getting their pussy torn up versus like, I hate you, praise me. You know what I mean, praise me. This is my first look at how he's dressed. Look at us and look at him. You know what I mean? Why do we jack off to, what is he jack off to? This fucking guy like, you know what I mean?

He took a shower. I was literally I Had cold pizza that has been just unrefrigerated since we ordered it what whatever midnight last night I'm not even like 10 p.m. Last you had two day cap on that. That's true, but that's what I'm saying is like But we know it's my day that logic is not I never thought of that. No, you're right. The FDA did come forward and like, everybody, you're good for food.

We've been doing our own research, right? Okay, the people I'm gonna speak for eldest too, the three of us have survived on that logic for years. You don't even have to put it in the fridge till date. No. But that is something to it. It's like, what if he's, you know, he's jacking off the dainty shit

Right he's the most put together, you know what I mean? I think some I will admit that I think some of this is cowardice Yeah, that's what part of you to though Let's get it out of here. You guys want to face the nature of it It's nasty. It's gross. Guess what? Sometimes raccoons eat out of the trash Yeah It's gross, guess what? Sometimes raccoons eat out of the trash. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? That's just like those animal documentaries where like they don't fully show

like the zebra get massacred. They show all the moments leading up to it, but you don't get to see the vines get more out of their nests. Well, there's a little imagination too, but then I mean, you could argue, do we really need to see that? And I agree that it is nasty in terms of like,

if you take it out of context as an observer, when you're in it, you shouldn't be feeling like, this is disgusting. You should be getting a nut all. That's what I'm doing, what I'm watching it do is the same. You know what I mean? I don't think you think like. You want that sense of, oh, this is fucked up after you're nut. No, I don't think you like you want that sense of oh this is fucked up after you not

Of course If I can unify us, I also feel ashamed of you. It's not like I go and I go, boy was that a classy thing that I did? This is still equally embarrassing. That's true. And fucking animalistic and I. And here's the other thing, it's presented as more classy,

but the people in those are, you probably just as exploited. Yeah. They just sucked the producers' dick off camera. Yeah, yeah. They're both camera. Like that lady in the top floor, born. Dude, the stuff, I don't think it is that exploited. I think it's like, I watch my shit looks like found footage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But these are people having consensual sets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they consent to have it on X videos? Listen, okay, now what am I talking, they can send to have it on X videos Fucking porn That's for I know that these people are having sex because they like each other Those ladies are doing it for money. No, they're they're desperate. That's sure terribly alone I'm just watching the whole foods cash here

Do it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm growing up in Baltimore City. That was always a stark difference in how I jacked off. And how, you know, like, I mean, I also, you know, we're about the same age everybody here. So I grew up on the cusp and we didn't have internet. So it's not like I really, but once I had it, I was like, you know, I'm going to Bang Bros. I'm jacking off to 42nd. You know, like, you know, like, you know,

like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, I'm finding a lot of Greek I'm jacking off to 42nd. Yeah, you know, like the damn- That was the clips. I'm finding a lot of Greek magazines, which did show tits. Wow. You know what I mean? It's like the regular magazine. A regular magazine. Greek essence magazine.

There would be a reason. And it wouldn't be off. It wouldn't be every time. So I had this whole thing where it was like, there was a specific magazine called, it was called Otaki Theromo, which just means the mailman. And it was like, there was a specific magazine called, it was called Otaki Theramos, which just means the mailman. And it was attached,

it was like, you know how New York Times has a magazine attached to the paper where it was like, they came together. I guess it was like the Sunday issue of this, my dad would get the Greek newspaper delivered and I would just bolt home before anyone and it was just like a like a fact-finding mission of being like, are there tits?

And then like, are there there are titties? Or I would like write down page 49 tits? I would shut it down, right? And then I could, because you couldn't be too obvious, you could really grab it and take it to the bathroom and say, you cut it down, you whistle away. Yeah. So I would let my parents kind of have, you know, read it a couple, you know, get done with it

and basically be thrown away and then be like, and then I would like thumb through it under the guise of like, hmm, I'm interested in Greek culture and reading Greek, whatever. And after like four days, I'd be like, all right, and even then I would camouflage just like, well, I'm gonna like, all right, time to, and even then I would, I would camouflage just like, well, I'm gonna read this while shitting, you know?

And then I would just jack off, and I would just, wherever the tips were, I would just be, so that was one way. But yes, there is, there is definitely like a, it's, there is, the first time you just see, and this also, I mean, I don't know if you guys grew up here, or if you guys were doing this, but like DVD porn was still very much going on.

Yeah. Like ice like, all the retraining of it. Yeah, we were trade the DVD. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a call from Wild Alpha Kid who's dead now. Yeah. I just killed him. Yeah.

Yeah, girls going wild. I getting one of those and being like, the hell is this they don't even fuck through They're not going that way. What I left out yeah, it really commercials to like in your DVD. I know I know I don't think I've ever watched the girls gone wild DVD. It's not good Yeah, I assume it's just a long version of what the commercial it really sucks It's a lot of when you watch the, you can tell how wasted they are. And you also, you're like the guy in the back. Like, yeah, show us those sweet heart, you know what I'm saying?

That's true. You're cutting, yeah, they cut out all the like, it's basically like somebody, like convincing someone to show or tits over an hour. It's true coercion. It's coercion for sure. And the worst it gets, or the most like, and then it's like, so you feel bad,

but there's also nothing, the juices are worth the squeeze. The guilt of being a party to this. You don't even get to see anyone get fucked. You know what I mean? It's like, what am I giving up my morals for? Yeah, what am I to do? Yeah.

It's crying. Yeah, just to get a weeknight. Just watching the 17 year old, who's clearly lying about her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can watch in the 17 year old who's clearly lying about her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, drunk it fucking senior from yeah It's so yeah, and they were you know, every once in a while they would show you know They would go put they would show push but Latoya rules. They would never get fuck Latoya rules, they would never get fucked. Yeah.

You know, it was basically like, you're really, yeah. Never get it, no penetration. I don't know if it's like, I'm at strange bust that they had. They had a bust that they would have like shit, which it's funny too, because when you first watch porn that's in hotels,

you're like, you never really think about it, but then you do 10 years of road comedy, and you're like, oh, that's a tough hotel. Oh, you can tell. You're like, oh, they're in a night's end. What is this? This one is getting fucking raw, though. Yeah.

And I know it smells like cigarettes. I can tell. I've been in that hotel room. It's even sadder when you've really done regional shitty stand-up comedy. That is. That is for decades. Dirty microwave in the bathroom oh man uh...

often even do a good job oh my god not even close oh i remember one time i was i was in uh... dallas on uh... i was in like play no not even like that you know i don't know if you guys done dallas but it fucking sucks a horrible town and uh... i love that I don't know if you guys have done dals, but it fucking sucks, it's a horrible town. And I love dals. The fuck did it? It sucks dick.

It is like, it's like, Houston's cool. The problem with text is like, I mean, all those fucking giant highways, and it's like, you can't, obviously you can't walk anywhere, whatever. And then Houston feels like it has a ton of, it's just like a bunch of shopping centers connected, but it's cool.

Like there's their, there's actual culture there. There's like, there's like, you know, strangely Vietnamese influence. Like you have like, chopped and screwed shit, you have like, and they have no, they have no zoning laws. So it's like anywhere you go, you might find the weirdest, like bar or restaurant or like club

or just like in the middle of like a residential, it's just like an interesting place. Yeah, they all, all their houses also are like weirdly mismatched. Yeah, exactly like that though. Yeah, cool. Like a mansion next to the worst house of all time. You've ever seen it in your life, like on stills.

And then so it's like, so Houston is that, right? It's still, you know, the car's too big, the highway's too big, but it's all so Houston is that right? It's still you know to the cars too big highways too big But it's all weird and mismatched and cool Dallas is like just take everything bad about Houston It just put like a weird suburban veneer over it. It's all like luxury malls and it fucking it just sucks Baneris lot of paneras. Lotta paneras. Lotta paneras. And so fancy Taco Bell. You know how there's like, Oh, can't team up.

Yeah, it's all can't team up. Taco Bell can't team up. Taco Bell can't team up. Well, I was in play, so I was in Plano and I think Hyenas, I don't remember. And shows were actually pretty fun, but the play sucked dick. It's like so suburban, whatever.

And the hotel was like, just some dog shit, like comfort in whatever in the hotel is like just some dog shit like Comfort in whatever the fuck and it happened to be Valentine's day weekend And so worth thinking to be on the road. It sucks. It's fucking horrible You don't think about it like whatever you just like no it's a weekend. I'll take a weekend And I wasn't doing well at the time. I was like whatever the fuck I can do And so and dude like trying to get your room cleaned the day after Valentine's Day in a suburban comfort inn. That's like fucking Vietnam for those fucking maids, dude.

Like imagine what they're seeing, dude. Oh my, imagine the juices, the juices the loose the condoms Just like the run and I was like oh my god. This has such a fucking Diabolical energy Right because it's not that there's not any true lovers in that To the comfort in in Plano. There's no passion. Oh, fucking gross dude. Whoever's there.

The praise. Oh, fucked up. So fucked up. It's fucking bad. Just two people who don't love each other but don't have anybody else in their life that they're fucking. They're like, yeah, all right. We'll do Valentine's Day together.

Yeah. Because also you're not taking it to your home. Yeah. Which means there's a level of mistrust already Vacation to plan or or the other thing is they are vacationing to play and imagine the kind of the caliber of person We're talking about that what trash you have to be for this to be a step up from where you normally fuck. I did And like truly this like I like I said and I was not doing well I was just taking whatever hotel they were giving me dogs shit hotel

Yeah, like if I was in a fucking Marriott like courtyard Marriott that would have been like the you know the W hotel compared to where the For the thing it was so bad. I did the uh that, that, that Sacramento punchline. Yeah. Oh, you don't take that hotel. That hotel. You do not take that hotel. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm standing.

You actually don't tell Saga. It didn't know, but they put you like an extended stay. It's like a residence. It's like where people get divorced. Like, but a divorce hotel. I watched family's vacation at the Sacramento residence in, and it truly was like one of the more disturbing things. It's such, yeah.

Just seeing these people in this barbed wire pool, like, with their kids. Bro, you gotta know this is a mistake. It's such. And if I had seen that shit too, it's like, it's's like a reminder of what trash I was an am. Like I just get flashbacks to, because my dad would take us to Greece, but he was such a, like he was so like embarrassed.

It's like he was doing fine, but he wanted everyone to think he went to America and became like a rich, I mean, I'm sure you, I'm trying to have that. You gotta pretend when you go back home. And so he would like, he would take out loans and we would have these baller vacations in Greece.

He would take out a loan to look rich to his whole life. To his fucking relatives in Greece. And then we'd come back and the years we weren't in Greece, vacation like kings, we were in a motel in Wildwood, New Jersey, splitting a room. Five people, me and my mom and dad in one bed, me and my two brothers in another bed.

And then like, when I see family's vacation in the shitty places I would stay, like when I was featuring her or even like early headlining, it would just be like, fuck man, I'm trying, this is what I'm trying to escape. Yeah, you're trapped. You're trapped in your dad's pyramid

oh that's just fucking sucks but anyway the point I was trying to make it the we and we're all about digressions here but I was just like how jarring it was to get the first like no plot you turn it on and there's just a lady getting like just destroyed a man has a long white tea and boots on it No, and it's like and by the way And by the way, it's not that the boots his pants are down He has no pants on and he has put his boots back on and tied them up. And he's for traction. It was like, I was like, what the fuck is the, you know, I will say that the Hoodenigas

were very innovative in the not showing the feet game. You know what I mean? Like, you got to pay for these feet. The 50 cent generation of porn stars really innovated there. You're gonna, I'm gonna fuck you in Tim's lady. You know what I never liked about that was like, it was always too much dude. Yeah.

They would monopolize the camera time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, that's the last thing I want to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is you just pounding? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looking at the camera. Yeah, yeah. Like flexing. You'd be lucky to get a sigh a profile. Yeah, even see any kitty jiggle. Yeah

Hip smacking him pound into a lady. Yeah, it's supposed to be like damn he's killing Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah halfway dressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Who you couldn't even tell if the lady was attractive or not. No, here we are. Very little, very little. Once again, attractive is not one of the main things I look for when I'm going in. Whoa.

What was your fourth down moment? Whoa. Okay, interesting. I'm like a car enthusiast. I like parts. Yeah. Or face scoopy, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I can see that certainly, certainly. I mean, but a face will get me. Because I'm with you. At that time, I'm not, that's not what I'm looking for. I am probably look, or what's even more fucked up is you have something so specific in your head. We're like, I need to, I need to dial this in. Yeah. You know, I'm gonna We're like, I need to dial this in.

You know, I'm gonna say, I cannot, I can't be caring about if the face matches, if I have eight other things that I'm looking for. That's a thing, man. That's a thing. It's a lot of place specifics for me. Place. Yeah, we're like, we're like, just like, the realism,

there's things you type in that will get you more realism. Like, if you type in coworker, that's things you type in that will get you more realism. Like if you type in co-worker, that's gonna be some real shit. I didn't know that. You never tried that? Never tried co-worker. Oh, I never tried co-worker. Because it's just some dude like, I smashed my boss's wife. Right, right. And it's like in a backroom, but it's always very like they're having a good time. And when you're watching this, are you under the presumption that this is a real dude smashing his real boss's wife? Bro, sometimes she has the work shirt on And it's not in the lighting's bad. It's poor. It's still foam right right right?

You know what I mean? Okay. Yeah. I see there's no light. It's not even this even if it's not real It is Blair Witch Project level commitment. Don't say that, don't say that. Just do the idea. Do the idea. Where you're like, yeah, this feels like they really focus on making me feel like I'm in this.

That's what I want. I got you. That's what I want. I respect it. That's awesome. What are you jacking off to these days? Well, I just wanted to say like, I kinda... He's been sitting on this for a while.

I'm really out now. I'll just circle back to the soft quarter thing. I'm not a soft quarter guy, but I kinda want to get into it, because I feel like I'm like... Too much... You're an aspiring soft quarter jacking off guy. He's just a bikini guy. I'm too much of a perfectionist, so I'm looking for the perfect clip

to finally not to. You can get into a Ouija, go into 40 clips, I want the perfect titties, perfect face, and it's like when I forced myself to do on the road in May, it was like, what should force yourself to love it? When I was beating off, it's like, I would pull up a long scene that was like in the neighborhood like some Milf shit or whatever.

Sure. I would just like force myself to watch it without touching my dick. Like, I would like, whoa! I would say it. I don't think it's like a taste thing. I think it's an attention span thing. Oh my god. And I think it's forced myself to like sit through it

and watch like a form of like, you know, meditation. Why am I dick at like worked up a little and something? This is your dickest thing. Oh, form of meditation. No, just focus your attention. Just focus your attention in and like, you know. What the fuck? You suck.

You suck. I'm always pulling up the long scene. You're always trying to get to the dick and pussy You just have to like tie your hands not tie your hands literally, but you know Just sit back and let the scene let the scene build a little Get to know the character Yeah, and kind of need it. And you would, I'm sorry, you would jack off to that video? Eventually I would.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, you gotta let yourself like, war's up a little before you start talking to the guys. Yeah, how far, how long is this? Um, I don't know, there were some that were like, you know, I think, I think like I would, I would try to do like a good 10 minutes or something. Yeah. Just see what's going on before before I like even let them they come out for you allow yourself

Pull your own dick out. Elvis you're ready That's fucking that's so insanely I do recommend trying that it is kind of awesome your penis has has a soft glow to it There's just something a holy light that sort of like lives around it that is yeah You're just getting yourself your self-control, you know, it's delaying gratification but with pornography Exactly And that is very interesting when you do it like that like you get into the sea and it's like okay I'm in it. I don't need to go looking through like 20 other clips.

I'll be ready to end that in a few minutes. You've got to be a little patient with yourself. I'm going to see. Well, there is something to, like, yes, destroying the problem of complete, like non-stop choice or endless choice. Right, because you fall victim to that. Yeah, and then it's like, the tomorrow afternoon's gone.

So I respect that element. I like, which is why maybe what we need to do, get back to is yes, when you used to find a DVD or a tape or you were just like, I am jacking off to every portion of this. No, it was like, you know, like using every part of the buffalo, which is an algae. Is an outing we like a lot on this podcast. But I remember you'd be like, you would especially be a part of wild things. Yeah. When it was VHS and you would just like

pause and you just jack off and be like, all right, pause. Yeah. Wouldn't move it. And then you just put it back and be like, where are we? Great. He just worked your way through the whole, that's what I do with my dad's weird Greek pornos. But that's why maybe what we need to do is start like, you know how they have those like bespoke like man crates or whatever the fuck those are called where it's like, where is that? You get like, you get like an action figure,

you get like a knife, you get a little sifter of whiskey. Yeah, the, shame the beard boy Yes, yes, no, we need to start doing that for pornography. Okay, you get three DVDs Yeah, I mean you get three DVDs a month. It's the only thing you're allowed to beat off to You know, it's like we we have some kind of proprietary thing that it will block porn on your computer You know, I mean? You put a little fire stick or something into your, we have a little USB thing, you put into your modem

and it becomes fucking, you know. It's like, yeah, we're like Afghanistan, whatever the Taliban is doing. You do the same thing. Yeah, and we give you everything. Yeah. And you know, oil. Yeah.

Yeah. You also got to make you take a test at the beginning though to figure out, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, I think that's gonna clean up the internet. Yeah. Yeah. Well, who knows, dude, I guarantee there's gonna be some weird shit. The internet does seem like it's getting more and more controlled, where it's like so fewer. And it's like we're nowhere near like this yet, but I could see some weird crackdown of like some attempts of actually getting pornography unchecked off the internet. Yeah. I kind of need it. Yeah, yeah, you're open for it. Take me out the game. Yeah, you wouldn't mind a little Chinese regulation.

Yeah, come here on cheesy things. Yeah, man, you don't have to go back to trying to find that shit in the woods. Yeah. Too easy to access. Yeah. No, I do think like even fucking threads is like,

they haven't brought the porn over. Oh yeah, there's no porn on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no these companies that just are like, Facebook is showing it where it's like, they're acquiring more and more shit and it's like, they have more and more, you know, influence. It's like, I just think, yeah, it's like, if, I thought it didn't take off, but if it did, and it was this kind of thing where it's like, Instagram, essentially Twitter is,

and those two things are controlled by Facebook, it's like, they put their own weird, like, their own weird like censoring thing. The thing that was good about Twitter before, you know, Elon took over, was that it was like, it felt like pretty much, you could do whatever, you could do porn, you do whatever the fuck it was, except like, you know, threatening to specifically kill someone.

Like, if you didn't do that, and if you did it class, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If the tweet was well written enough, Kill someone If the tweet was well written enough Yeah, absolutely there were there were loopholes around it, but I Didn't want to ask if there are there any other nice any other like any other like weird conspiracyers or just Superstitions you guys wanted to highlight because I love I love all those I love all of shit I also love that I do think there's this funny thing that happens with like all ethnic Especially happens with ethnic like observational comedy all the time where it's like

Everyone thinks that their culture is the one that eats a lot That like this late You know what I mean like and you see where it's like a meme will start is like Black people do and then you'll just and you know what I mean? Like, and you see where it's like a meme will start is like black people do, and then you'll just, you know, whatever it is, it's like a picture of, you know, who, I don't know what the fuck. And then you'll just see every other, they'll just put, oh, they'll just,

you can tell the Instagram, like they've just edited in Instagram. And they'll be like, Phil Upino's at the Family reunion. And it's just like, you know, a picture of fuck, I don't know, like Homer Simpson doing something, being like, you know, going back at the family reunion. And it's just like, you know, a picture of a fuck, I don't know, like Homer Simpson doing something, being like, you know, going back into the fucking bush. Yeah, we all think we're more special than we are. Yeah, everyone thinks.

And it's always food and being late. I have noticed. Our Greeks, our Greeks late. They all say everyone says, and yes, they are. But I just think most people are like, some of my best friends are like the latest route. I mean, great people, there's just no,

it's a very easygoing free-flowing society without a lot of like, I mean, once the, we were like this before, but once the like a whole generation had no way to have a good job. Like once the financial crisis hit Greece, it was already a very hangout-based culture. Like, it was already like just like

in chill with the boys at the coffee shop for four hours. But once it's like, you can't make, you literally cannot have a job. Then it was just like, everyone was just kinda, it was like Greece actually pretty chill those years where the economy was completely devastated. It was like, my cousin was just like, all right, let's go hang out and my fucking,

my uncle or my godfather had just, like he retired and he moved to the island his family from, and then motherfucker just like, is on the barter system now. Like it's become like the middle ages where it's like, he has like, he has like moonshine and he does, and he has honey from like the bees, his own like bees, he's a beekeeper.

And him and his boys just trade like, I'll give you a little fucking rabbit meat for some fucking honey. I'll give you some fucking light. I noticed you got some red onions over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's one of the taste of one of those. It's fully regressed. So I'm just trying to think like,

I would love to hear of any other highlight superstitions or conspiracy theories and see if they, if we have any, but we, you know, some Albanian or Greek overlap here. Yeah. If there's any good ones, do you have any, do you have any come to mind? I have.

I mean, all my favorite ones are like, the kind of the magical type, or like, like, let's do that. What was it we had in one where it was, after New Year's, you have to have a man walk in the house first. With your right foot? No, it was, it was, it was not's, you have to have a man walk in the house first. With your right foot? No, it was, what's the good?

It's not for two. You have to go with the right foot first or you're fucked the whole year. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is a man has to walk in. It's not man, it's any, well, it should be, it's supposed to be, you call it, you call it, it's your man, yeah.

What? It's called the Pudari Kuh, right? And it's supposed to be like the man of the house or like whoever's in charge of the house. So like, yeah, in theory, it should be the most like the most accomplished male in the home, whether it's like the dad or whoever's around. It's not super strict. It's not like we have to fly in, you know, your father to do it. It's like, strict, it's not like we have to fly in your father to do it.

It's like I did it one year, so it's like, I assume if you're a woman living alone. You're not supposed to be in your family? Well, just in terms of Baltimore, 15 years ago, yes. It was either me or my brothers. I was definitely the most, I was always looked at as the most respected of the,

I was always the one who had to like, you know, make decisions and shift for the family. But, you know, so I guess if you're a woman living alone, you would do it yourself. Yeah, well, but this one, this one was more that A-Man period. Any man, any man, you literally would have to get a man off the street. Wow. To walk through your threshold First before anyone else in order to ensure good luck for the same. It's like very massage

That's fucking hilarious. Yeah, I love you guys You have the same thing you have a bloody bulleted car, or anything like that? I think we have some years shit like that and no specifics. We always just did the thing where you like, you bake the coin into the bread. Of course, that's class. I cut it up, whoever gets the piece with a coin in it.

Yeah. It has good luck for the year. Yeah. Did you ever get it? Yeah, I got it a couple times. How'd it go? Mm-hmm. It didn't really change.

It's course Yeah, we don't put we don't put any no coins in bread. Yeah, that's Greek too. Yeah, black people I think are we don't put money in shit Yeah, we were we're open foil. We're real particularly about food When we miss around If I suggested that to my grandmother she would smack me in the face Yeah, I mean that's not a thing. I would like to get into highlight you would smack me in the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot of things. I would like to, again, to highlight, you put it in a food safe aluminum foil.

When I put in random ass dirty coins, and there was a very contentious trend that happened on the internet where a swath of black people were arguing that you're supposed to uh... soap wash your chicken i remember i was gonna have a lot of us yes yes that was been so much versus or just i remember the argument being somebody be a white person being like

do not wash your chicken and yes and then and then black people being like well we're gonna wash our chicken with water i didn't know that there was a third hard line stance. That was like, you should soap wash your chicken. There was like an entire section of people being like bleached it.

Yeah, bleached the fucking chicken. And it's like, bro, I don't think we're supposed to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This seems bad. Yeah, yeah. I'm with, yeah, that was, I remember that. And I remember being like, yeah, I mean, I guess I hear the argument that if you spread water on it,

you're just kind of pushing around back to here. But it's like, I just want that weird little slimy package juice out of the mix. Yeah, I just don't want that. You mean the sauce? No, no thanks. I hate that shit, that weird goo. That's the shit where I'm like, man,

we really shouldn't be consuming meat like this. Where I'm like, these little fucking chickens, it's like, this is matrix juice. Yeah. This is shit, they're in that pod. 100%. And I'm about to have this. This is that shit that was in Ghostbusters too.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a blast. Yeah, the blast of the fucking source. No, that shit is fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, the butt of the fucking sewers. No, that should have fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like my favorites, there was a conspiracy for a while

that the dog on tribe in Africa had made contact with an alien race. Yeah. Like a, basically like a hidden planet that's closer to Earth than we realize. Oh, wow, no. And they had basically been contacted by this alien race and were in communication with this alien race.

I love the alien ship. Did they build the pyramids under their direction? Is that part of it? I think it is this weird thing where they're like, yeah, they have known math and certain types of science that the world is just now catching up to. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. And what are the big proof, some of the big proofs

that they have a crazy understanding of stars and the solar system. And these motherfuckers are straight up like what your national geographic. Your titties out. And titties out, you know, like, would be racist if I sketched it. If I was like, what's that?

What's that for the life? And I drew you a picture of what they're like. You'd be like, come on man. Come on, it's the valve up to me. That's not, yeah. What was in your heart? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that level of like, you know, and yes,

and according to one TikTok I saw, so I have no proof. This is just correct. No proof. Is that they were literally like sketching out like the solar system in dirt or some shit. Yeah. And people were like, wow, these motherfuckers, no aliens.

Yeah, they know it. No, they know, they know way more shit than they should know at least off of, at least our understanding of their tribal experience. That's fucking sick. I know it is, it's also so funny to be like, man, if she gets a little worse, people are gonna start believing whatever.

Cause I'm already being like, It's starting to happen. I'm already like, even I who fight, I was not really a big conspiracy. They're like, you know, all my conspiracy shit is just like, I don't know, the world is rigged against you, which isn't really a conspiracy.

You're just, everyone is fucked if they don't have insane amounts of what, like even America is like, it's a lot more, you have an actual chance at like, if things break right, a bunch of different ways, you have an actual chance of being well off and rich whereas like in most of history, where you were born was literally where you end up.

And now in America is just statistically, you probably will end up, but still, you get it, you get at least a shot at it. And that actually, but that is like such human progress because I've been I've been really into like you know middle ages shit I'm just that shit kind of fascinates me now but it's like and it's just like if shit starts going even a little worse and and just all the all like I just feel like any conspiracy theory will really be,

it's going to be crazy. I mean, I've long maintained that I think conspiracy theory is just fan fiction for like your real life. It's fun. It's fun to be like, you know, to talk about Atlantis. I should like that. But then now we've reached a point where people aren't having fun with the fantasy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean with the, no Atlantis was real, they killed us all. And it's like, bro, you got to relax. And because of Atlantis, we have to get the Jews up again. Yeah, exactly. We have to get the Jews up again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, or it's like, or I love when it's even more specific and it's just like regional beefs. Which like, that's the best part about the Balkans, which is like, you know, me and I'll just have a longstanding ironic racism rivalry about how inferior Albanians are to Greeks.

Sure. But it's like, that's why I love it. When people don't even see the global picture and they're like, yeah, this proves that we have to execute all Macedonians. You know what I mean? Just like this proves it. As soon as I meet one, I'm like, yeah. Take it out.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I fucking love that. Yeah, I think it's just, we've reached like this sort of dark period where people, I think we've lost a lot of respect for anyone that actually is a valid source of anything Yeah, you're right. I mean, that's a good point. It's like it used to be this fun thing where you would have like a crazy uncle or you know So fun grandma who just got into some weird shit and you would talk to them about it And it would it would be like, it would never leave the fucking cookout or wherever the fuck you were.

And then now it's like, well, my uncle actually is just as smart as every doctor. It's like that is the big, that's the problem. You have to follow it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Counts. Yeah, and that's what's crazy is like your uncle literally can be more popular than your doctor. Yeah, he's easy, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That counts. Yeah, and that's what's crazy. It's like your uncle literally can be more popular than your doctor.

Yeah, he's easy. And that's it. And that's it. It shouldn't be the way that it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, my doctor's lame. Yeah. We have a doctor that's pretty, he tries to, you know, he's a piece of ass.

He talks about how all the times patients have tried to fuck him and suck him off and stuff. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I believe that. He's, I believe it, but it's more ghost to share that information than anything. Yeah, he's being tacky. Yeah, he's being tacky.

Yeah. You know what, he's trying to fuck their doctor, don't. You know what he's like? I went to him recently and like, you know how when you're at work and like you don't feel like working or you're kind of a shitty employee, but like you just try to be like fun and just like have good vibes.

So it's like, oh yeah, yeah, whatever they're doing a good job, they're good energy. That's why he kind of tried to do to me last time because he was like, I forgot what I went in for specifically, but you know, he just started like dropping some dudes and just like trying to like talk a little more fun. He's kind of phoning it in.

This is the end of the day for him. He's like, you got gonorrhea. Yeah. Yeah, legit. And he's just like, you know, being real chummy. And I was like, this definitely feels like someone's trying to like coast a little and just, you know, doesn't have much to tell you.

So, they're like, oh, I'm gonna sympathize with this guy by... He was like, good news. You don't have another yeast infection on your penis Mr. Sula which all his hands had multiple of by the way yeah well you know it's athletes thrush you know it's not you we're the least athletic men I've ever met my life yeah I thrashed a couple times. I know that was possible. Yeah, I thought only babies got it. I'm brutal. I've had it on my penis multiple times.

Oh man, multiple times, where do you go? It's, I think it's like, because I was way too fat at a certain point. We're in pants that were way too hot in the summer. Right, the city. You were in tight, tight pants? Pretty, you know, some tight jeans and just general, very unhealthy.

Yeah, and all around, it's just cooking down there. Yeah, that's a whole mess. Yeah, making us do. Too humid, too humid. You know, this is undercarriage. But you know, we haven't had one in the long haul. I've got one.

I've got one, another one. That's it, that's a superstition. Not gonna work another one. That's it. That's a superstition. That's a superstition. Yeah. Knocking on wood, that's pretty much all across. I don't know. I think that's everybody.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Deepak Shiloh, everyone does it. That's interesting. I wonder where that's start. We got to look at the origins of knocking on wood. Well, anyway, boys, we could chit chat all day, but I think it's time we turned some of your expertise Towards our callers and we should say listen to the podcast. I think I was gonna plug here at the midway point that people should check out now

Just just listen to my Oh, yeah, bring David a plate dot com Bring me your hex spaghetti or whatever you want Yeah, do you guys have that is that a thing for for Greek people? Bring me your hex spaghetti or whatever you want. Do you guys have that? Is that a thing for Greek people? I'm spaghetti. So we actually talked about this shit yesterday.

Interesting. There is a theory, and I think this is mostly a black thing, but I could be funny. I think you cannot accept spaghetti from a strange woman at the possibility that she has put her menstrual blood That's a love potion essentially that's awesome. No, we don't have that That's awesome, but no, there's no to Ziki Yeah, no discharge and to cheeky

Then I'll you know get the love potion going on you. Yeah, no none of that none of that Do you oh here's one thing I would didn't want to what you know everyone believes in the evil eye But do you have like a way to get it? You know, do you have like a little Ritual to get the evil eye off you or to shake that shoes you off. Yeah, I don't mean I mean G.J. Oh J. U.J. Yeah. I said it with the A. Yeah.

She was Jewish on him. Yeah, you got anything or you don't you have any? We I think we we did some shit with Sidney Washington where she was talking about like the burn, you have to burn your hair. Oh, that's right. That's because even like when you brush your hair, you should be burning the residual hair

that sort of gets left behind at the possibility that someone might hex you or they're thinking to get your hair. No, this is more just like, so we have, so the evil eye is just like, just basically people hating essentially. This is like, hate or blockers. And what you have to do is go to an old lady

that does a weird, it's funny because when I was growing up, it's like within the church, she literally will be like, she's like spit and then like do a cross. And I'm thinking it's like, there'sp-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- You're feeling bad, you've been like in a bad mood. Growing up my mom would be like, they saw how fucking sick you looked at church. You've been in a bad mood. They just put their fucking bad vibes on you. And it'd be like, hold on, let's grandma take the evil eye off you. And you should just go and she's like,

and just spit and then a few years. Did you ever feel different after? Were you ever like, yeah, I got a little pepper in myself. I don't think, I don't think, and I just thought it was like, okay, this worked. It never, I never, the placebo effect never really took hold on me. Oh, damn.

They also, you know, that would've got me for sure. Yeah. Maybe the first, maybe when I was like little, I don't know, but my grandma will still do it. I mean, what else, would you still accept it from my dad? I'll accept if she wants to do it. Yeah, I like that.

I got dysentery one time. Oh, wow. Can I put like a bottle of this? This is correct. I don't know that. Yeah. I don't think that is that. You had a real medical problem.

I was in kind of a bad mood. You went away after like, I had pirate aids. What's on the phone? This is during they put a Bible on your head. I knew you had two hours going through it. Did you feel better after the Bible? Yeah, a couple days later, I shit my ass hole. No, please

No problem at all What if that's where you drew the line Come on, man, what the fuck is wrong with us word buddy What about fortune tell you guys ever do we my grandma would also read your fortune a little bit in your palm but also in Coffee that's for sure not Christian. Yeah, no chance. No, that's I will say that that a lot of Fortune telling shit is not black American shit in black culture. Okay, like I think like Huda and Voodoo, which is more like Haitian, Caribbean shit, they do that.

But black people are so fucking indaportinated and Christian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we don't fuck around with like interesting telling the future and playing the devil's shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's so interesting, because my grandma's also such an interesting person, because she grew up in like

very northern Greece, which is this like, it's just like this weird mishmash of like, you know, kind of Balkan, you know, southeastern Europe stuff. Grow up pretty religious, but also her father was a communist. She went to Bulgaria, so it's communist. She went to Bulgaria. So it's like, she went to Bulgaria with him because he fled after World War II to be,

to be in a communist, whatever system. And to this day, it's like, because Greece has like multiple parties. It's like the parliament you can vote for whatever. To this day, she votes communist, which you're not supposed to believe in God, I don't think. Yeah, no, there you are. It's so, it's really rejects her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the whole thing. And then so she's religious, but she also does all this weird kind of mountain European voodoo shit, which is like, you know, the, but it's also like, like still sort of involved the church. Like, Greek people do all this shit, and it's been just kind of like this.

Because everyone's religious, just kind of by default, everyone is Greek Orthodox, but it's not like this huge, there's no like, you know, fucking five hours of church shit going on in Greek. It's like, you just kind of, people don't really go that much,

it's more of a part of your identity, that it's like, you find these, my grandma's this interesting older lady where it's like, she has that religious shit. She believes, you know, my mom believes in it, but they're very liberal and they're very like, and then they also do this weird witchcraft shit. Basically, that's the kind of witchcraft,

which is like reading your, and it's for fun. Mostly it's for fun, but that's the same style. That's the way you need a little bit of magic in your life yeah yeah yeah you know I'm saying I can't all be like analytics so it's like totally totally totally totally you need a little bit of that a little bit of I love a little cherry picking of love yeah what happened which crap yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

that's fucking tight yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna start looking for more of that shit that's interesting I got a I got to find more. Uniminutimizami. Seriously, hold on, boys. I gotta tell our listeners about our friends over at Babel. Yeah, that's right. That flawless French you just heard from me.

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I actually worked on a flyer for you a couple years ago, back for the Prince of Pleasure tour. I ended up falling through, but I'd love to work with you again anyway. Okay. So I have a friend who started dating this very Christian girl. They went on a trip to Japan together after dating only for a few months. Normally I think that was pretty quick. They had the same birth date, actually.

So maybe it was meant to be or whatever. Anyway, so she looked through his phone without his knowledge and found that he was subscribed to a bunch of only fans' girls and freaked out and ended the relationship. Wow. You know, she must have like spied on him to get his past code, which is obviously a bridge of terror. Absolutely. So they passed it up and they're dating again, actually.

But I'm a little worried for my buddy Yeah, you know, I feel like this girl is now respected What would you say to him if he was your pal? Thanks so much Wow, so not going on here. Yeah, this is a complicated relationship. Let's just start with yeah What you were saying Japan is an insane place that's nuts Two-month girlfriend. You don't go crazy like an insane place. That's nuts. Right? Two month girlfriend is crazy.

Like a fresh love, let's go to like, it's a, just traveling. First of all, you don't wanna know, you don't wanna travel that far with someone, you don't really know. No, that's a 15 hour fucking plane ride or some shit. And you also don't wanna land somewhere where like, neither of you know how to do this stuff.

Right. You gotta kinda know, somebody's to be an expert in two months. And Japan U is probably a different U. You don't see it. Like he touched down, he starts going crazy. He was right. I don't know the little girl panty machine. Yeah, you definitely can do some real fucking,

some real blast-feming, some real sinful shit over there. But they buttoned it up, it is funny, it's very like, we're proper, but we also, you know. Yeah, everything about this is weird, I don't like it. Yeah, I mean, so first of all, being, spying on your phone, like that's one of those things where it's like,

it's like, this isn't like a real court of law, there's no due process. So it depends on what did they catch you with, with the illegally obtained. Like, yes, you got the only fancy thing without a warrant, right? Right, but like, but it's not, you can't get that thrown out of court if you're like cheating or if like

something horrific if you do something horrific and someone steals your shit after like being like they've been acting really weird like I know I shouldn't do this but taking betraying their trust you're you're is like a smaller sin in the grand scheme of things versus what the fucked up thing they're doing. But to just find his passcode with no, he's done nothing wrong. And then he took you to Japan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a fool, but he's a good guy. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I mean, but to do that and what you find is that he's subscribed to only fans. Yeah, it's like which way he pays Great guy. He's paying for his he's actually consuming porn in an ethical way It's like it'd be worse if you called it if you looked as you know, I guarantee you he's watched porn up or X videos Whatever not paid for shit. Yeah, he's actually a good guy. Yeah Yeah, but the yeah, yeah. But the ratio is better than most of us for this guy. And so to me, like whenever you're like,

why the fuck should you go through my phone? That's like a complete, you're probably guilty and you're trying to cling to some kind of argument. Sure. But here it's like, yeah, why did you go through my phone? Yeah, yeah, what was the? What the fuck is this? this I wasn't doing anything fucked up because he was going crazy in Japan Because she did it in Japan right or is that just like a no I think that was just a I do think yeah if she was going through his text messages and found a bunch of stuff

That's a different conversation. But to just find an app, and be like, I disapprove of like, you having this relationship with an app is fucking nuts. I know. I don't know, you don't have to love that. Obviously, your Christian Jesus tells you otherwise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta know that this is who this dude was before you guys started hooking up. Totally. I mean, yeah, don't get me wrong, too. And I think that's like, the only fans conversation is an interesting thing of like, it's one thing to pay for your points. Another thing to be like, I have a wife and child

and I send a 22 year old in Ohio $10,000 a month. For her to look at my penis and tell me what's bad about it. I send a 22 year old in Ohio $10,000 a month. For her to look at my penis and tell me what's bad about it. Yeah, I'm sponsoring this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there's definitely, like only Vince is a little, it is a little case by case, and it's a little case by case about,

if he's just subscribing and actually just paying for porn, no problem whatsoever. Right, there's no interaction there. But if it's like, if, wait, there's this little gray area where it's like, you know, some people might have it's like a Digital sex work of all kinds where it's like goes from just paying for essentially soft core to like paying to have Phone you to have you know online to have like Internet sex with somebody like build your own adventure. Yeah, so it can be it's a little bit of a gray area

But to me the bigger problem here is it's like a build your own adventure. Yeah, so it can be, it's a little bit of a gray area, but to me, the bigger problem here is, it's like he wasn't doing anything wrong at all. She did the much more fucked up thing, which is like early on in a nice relationship, spying on someone and betraying their trust, is so much worse than being subscribed to OnlyFans, which is not bad. And so if he were my friend, if this guy ultimately asked this, I would be like, dude, you cannot. I mean, straight

up on so you can't date this person. Yeah, I would. That's crazy. That's also indicative of like, that doesn't go away. Like if that's what she's willing to do in the beginning, imagine once she's actually invested in exactly she's gonna be outside of the bushes You know what she actually got pretty cool That's a one that's a one and one hundred situation for some of the something insane early and I will say that that can happen with somebody who's like newly out of some kind of Christianity or like Mormonism or some kind of like real like orthodox Judaism. When people leave a very strict thing and come out of it, there is a little adjustment

period where they're like, they freak out and everything that's kind of programmed into them, they act kind of wild and then they're like, I really had to get that out of my system that was fucking stupid, I'm sorry. But it doesn't feel like she's, this isn't an ex-very Christian girl. This is just somebody who might not, if she disapproves of him just paying for pornography and just trampled over his privacy, those are two crazy problems. I imagine there is a swath of women who interpret the only fans as cheating in part because you are paying one person specifically.

You wanna mean that way? It's more into very personalized for us. That's my girl. Yes. Persis like, oh, I'll just look at Tidra Gess wherever they are. And that's why I say it's like, I think it, I don't wanna blanket a proof of it either, right? Like I will say it's case by case.

That's what I was, that's kind of what I was, the point I was trying to get at earlier words like, yes, I can see that, but if you are just like in a relay, and again, this is for a couple to decide, but like in a relationship, I think if you were like, look, I feel bad, most women, the duper are exploited. I'm just paying for this, I'm not DMing, I'm not paying for extras, you know what I mean?

I have no relationship here. I think that's totally appropriate, but someone might not agree. I'm just saying like, in this scenario, whatever's going on here, and it's like, yeah, maybe there was a way to have that conversation or something, but this definitely isn't it. The real crossing the line was going through the phone. Great, that's way more crossing line as a matter of...

Doesn't matter what he has in there, it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. You were bugging to begin with, and then y'all need to learn to talk to each other to resolve whatever that the differences are. For sure. And look, I'm not saying that's not possible, but I would be a little skeptical. And I think early on, I just think going through

somebody's phone early when there's been no problems, it's like, you need their word, that's fucked up. But to do that this early where there's ostensibly no issue is such a huge fucking red flag in my opinion. Yeah, agreed, you gotta dump that bitch. Yeah. Does anybody ever gone through your phones

if you ever been fucked up? No, no, no, hell this. Yeah, nobody's fucking. No, I keep that shit tight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep it close to the vest. That's not dry to X one time, but we were like very like on and off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Type situation. So I think neither of us ever felt very a course. Of course, of course. So I, I, yes, but not in a way that like ever turned into like massive blowups. It was just more like, who is this? And I'm like, why are you looking at all this soft course? I don't think we should be doing this at all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is this lady covered in a sheet? Why are you subscribed to Cinemax? And that work doesn't even exist anymore. Yeah, I've definitely had that where it's like, I know one's going through my phone, but it's like, it's also girls now are such internet detectives.

Yeah. Who's this? Why are you following her? And it's like, it's also girls now are such internet detectives. Where I've been like, who's this? Why are you following her? And it's like, I fucked her when we weren't together. What do you want? Like, what do you want for me? You got me. Like, yes, obviously this is not my old friend.

Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm like, I'm sorry. I just want to fuck you off for me. Anyway, all right, so yeah, sorry Jordan, your friend seems like to be, I would be, I would, I'd look, we don't know the whole situation, but I would approach with extreme caution and try and set your boundaries. And if she overstepped them, be like, all right, I can't do this anymore.

If you don't want to end it now, which I would be cautioning my friends probably to do. Or stop hanging out with that guy because he's going to suck soon. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be a tough year. You're all be around. Yeah, you can go anywhere now. She's calling while you guys are out. He's going to tuck in his shirt.

He's going to suck. All right, Big Eld. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right, big eld. Hit us with another one. Hey, Staby, how's it going, baby? Oh, lovely both. Like it, bro.

So up until maybe a week ago, I was an incredible bet. I'm a type one diabetic, landed in the hospital. Life's fucking stuck, man. Just medical bills, credit card, maxed out of the ass. Through fortunate events and recent half-means, my debt is pretty much taken care of. I feel like I have newly some life. What is the best thing I can do to prevent myself from getting into any kind of situation like this again and what do I do going forward for myself what is the situation yeah I don't know how you can stop yourself from getting diabetes

hey stop me how do I not be poor again I also love one of the vagus senses I've ever heard in my life, due to a fortunate invention recent happening. What the fuck? Does that even mean? I really all be one, the lottery. Did you win the lottery? Did somebody leave you money? Did somebody rob a bank? Whoa.

There's a darkness there that he tried to gloss over. You think the language is too fanciful? You also pretty stupid though. Yeah. So he might just not this due to fortunate events in recent happenings might be like his smartest sentence.

Right. Like, you might might be thinking that he has been very eloquent, you know what I mean? So I don't, first of all, how the fuck did you get this money? That's insane. That's what I'm saying.

Um, and, and you say it's pretty much taken care of. Are you fully out of debt? If you're not, then, because you say pretty much taken care of and you feel like you have a new lease on life, one piece of advice I would say is if you're only, if you're close to being out of debt, take, get rid of all the debt.

Don't let that shit, don't let the interest rates fucking get you slowly back into debt. That's a big problem. You had 200K in debt and not you only have 10K or something. If you don't make payments on that or pay it off completely, that can fucking spiral back. So I guess my first advice would be you've been given this weird nebulous opportunity that you didn't really explain to us.

And you're mostly out of debt. If you're mostly, get them all the way out of fucking debt. And then I would say like, yeah, don't fucking take credit cards out. Don't do that, don't do any of that stuff if you can help it. Because it sounds like you were in the hospital for having diabetes.

And if they accept for medical emergencies, don't get into debt, I think would be my most. Yeah, and diabetes. Also take your insulin. Yeah, take care of yourself. It's a relatively manageable disease, obviously. And yeah, do that. Yeah, exactly.

You gotta unleash some life. You know what to do. I guess we're just like, feed yourself good food. And like, you know, just focus. You know what to do. I guess we're just like feed yourself good food and like, you know, just focus. You're feeling very happy. You have this debt, this debt emotional and financial lifted off you. So don't squander the opportunity.

I would say don't feel like it's party time. This is like step one. This is not like, you know, something to celebrate yet. I wouldn't, I mean, something to celebrate, but it's like, you haven't done anything. It doesn't seem like you worked for this. So don't, you know what I mean? Don't start.

Not at end. Yes, yes, yes. Don't be like in dumb and dumb or where they just keep taking money out of the fucking thing and writing IOUs and buying yourself like an orange suit. Yeah, now is not the time to play the ponies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Well, I'm just, it's you know a really good word. Let's you have a good tip or a really strong feeling. Bet the show goes to the better us. Absent a really strong feeling on gambling opportunity. Be wise with your money. But yeah, dude, I don't know. This is very basic advice, but it does feel like what you need to hear is just don't be fucking dumb with your cash. And if you're in some that

get out of it completely and just take care of yourself, if it's if you your diabetes got bad because you just didn't. So, you know, fuck. That's it, bro. That's all I can tell you. I'm glad that one at least had like a uplifting ending, cause it really sounded like it was gonna get bad. I know, I know, it was a beginning. And I would love to know how you got the mind. I mean, you know, that's the question. That's crazy, yeah.

That's the big question, right? What'd you do to, yeah. Due to some fortuitous, circumcisions. He killed his mom and got, but put out in life insurance policy on her three months ago. is uh... circle yeah he killed his mom and got the but the life insurance policy on her three months ago so he's kicked up now uh...

or maybe even worse is mom knew he couldn't do anything so she faked her own accidental death after putting a life insurance policy on herself that's a good one i like that's a great mom that's a really good mom dumb to have you never get out of the dead. She's like this mother fuckers been eating butter scotch crimp its Food her

This girl I went to high school with killed her mom She she it's a pretty fucked up story you don't say It's a pretty fucked up story. You don't say. This one doesn't get better. So she flew with her mom and her secretly flew her boyfriend to Indonesia, I think it was. And they were staying in a hotel. The boyfriend hid in the hotel. They murdered the mom and then stuffed her in a hotel, the boyfriend hit in the hotel, they murdered the mom, and

then stuffed her in a suitcase. Holy shit. And got caught by the Indonesian, you know, fucking police. And she's now serving, I think. He's serving like a lifetime sentence over there, and she has been serving for like 15 years, had a kid in prison. What the fuck? And it was like, yeah, yes, and the news and shit.

Was she pregnant when she got in? Yeah, exactly. No, it's not a garage kid. It's really fucked up because the prisons over there are actually like pretty chill. Oh wow. Like she's having a really nice time and she did a really mean, horrible thing without justification and like every video is heard being like I don't know I like it.

I get plenty of stuff like videos. There's like she's been on 20-20 a bunch of times and like it was like a big deal. Why Indonesia? I wonder if that's like part of like American racism where you're like well the cops and third world countries are real stupid. You know what I mean? I could probably easily outsmart them. racism where you're like, well the cops in third world countries are real stupid. Yeah. You know what I mean? I could probably easily outsmart them.

You know what I mean? English. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, that's fucking wild. Yeah. Damn, I wanted to get it out when that's an interesting one. Put that down for a future Kush Brothers episode.

We do once a month, we do the news and we get high. Fuck you. So if that were back, you know, I'll do fish brothers. We'll specialize that. We'll spend some time on that one day. That's so fucking awesome. Or maybe we'll just FaceTime you in-lanks and when we're doing, when we're doing, uh, fish brothers.

And we're doing that specific story. Uh, God damn. All right. Well, uh, good for, right well good for I mean she's She's in that nice prison living it up. Yeah, it seems like it's going on Cape for what happens to the kid I Yeah, the grammar can't take her For a while I think the kid was there with her and then I don't know now You know, I'm not.

It's been a while. You're not checking in. Yeah. All right. We will, baby girl, we will cover this story on a future Kush Brothers episode. That's our promise to you folks. I'm so excited.

Hit us with another one, big held. A, stop and stop guys and LD. What's going on. I'm calling. I needed some advice talking to my friends. I don't drink alcohol because I just don't do it. I get nervous, sometimes around people who are excessively drinking. And my friends have just been like, on the night we just constantly getting drunk every time we hang out nice But I am wondering how I can approach them about just slowing it down when they're around me dress cuz like

I Want them to have a good time, but I also want me to have a good time I should be dope. All right, thanks, love ya. You gotta get away from those friends, man. This is an interesting question, because it's like, it depends. This is hugely, I mean, there's no way this caller is not in her early 20s.

Right, like early 20s, even late teens. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you're even in your mid 20s, like, but early 20s, everyone's getting fucked up constantly. And even people who would end up not drinking that much are getting fucked up constantly. I don't really drink that much. I'm a, you know, couple cocktail max guy at this point.

Like I definitely smoke more weed. But when you're 20 through 24, you're getting black out drunk. That's what you do, you get bricked, you know? And so it's tough because there's really no way, if that's the age ranger in which we're gonna guess you are, there's actually no way to not be a bunch of jokes. I hate to say this, but there really is it.

Like even if with some, when they, you're right, don't get me wrong. You are correct. You should be able to be like, hey guys, can you not get this fucked up around me? And I'm guessing, if you're nervous and you don't drink alcohol at all, probably you have a not chill relative that gets drunk. That's usually what happens. You have a drunk ass dad, you have a drunk ass mom, and you're like, I can't. You've skipped.

I've seen the worst version of this. Exactly, and there's such drunks that usually those people, either, that's what happens, either they become such horrible drunks and then in their 30s or late 20s, just become sober, which in comedy is like, this is not a problem in comedy at all,

because it's like half the people I am friends with are we're so good at drinking, they had to stop. You know, and so everyone understands when you get, but that's I think most people too. Once you're in your 30s or even late 20s, enough people have kind of stopped. Not that most people still drink, but enough, they know enough people that are sober

or like you know. You gotta give people a space to burn out. Yeah, exactly. We talked about this. I use the drink, Cracking Room. Cracking? Yeah.

Say, I use the, I would buy a, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the octopus on it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would buy a 20 ounce of vanilla coat. I would pour a third of it out, and I'd fill the rest with cracking. That's the most soft corn drink ever.

Yeah. Yeah. And I just get, I'd get fucking black out. That is, I hate to say it. That is a light skin uncle's drink. It's a black. It's a black. I can't feel the crackin' in vanilla coat.

Come on. You know what daddy likes it. You need to be drinking that shit with like a white linen button down on. They're not working the girl, but observing the guy. Working the girl. You're not, you're not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a bitch.

Just never back up, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God willing, you'll never have to grab this spatula, but an emergency you might have to keep, you know what I mean That's so fucking funny, but yeah, dude don't get me. I'm not me. Who am I to judge? I was a big raspberry stole guy myself? Okay Yeah, that's the best version of raspberry I don't get me wrong. I was in the smear enough camp as well, but yeah, no, I wasn't drinking. I wasn't drinking manly drinks at all.

No. But, but that is the thing here is that like, yes, if you're in your early 20s, they're just not. And half of them will be like in four years, they'll be like, hey, sorry, we were dicks about how drunk they are. But they just are not. You have, you have a perspective on drinking the day. And my guess is you got it the hard way and they also have to get it their own hard way,

which is just by being fucked up all the time. And I mean, it just, it's just, you- You know what I mean, where it's like, there are positions that lend themselves to you, As well maybe you don't want to hang out with them on Friday night Maybe hang out with them right right Sunday afternoon or something like that You know what I mean where it's like there are positions that lend themselves to drinking more than others Yeah, it suggests a game night instead of fucking yeah, just had at the park Yeah, you're getting fucked up with the game. I do get pretty black out at my own game. It's not cracking up a nil in cold. Yeah, like maybe pull out the good stuff. Yeah, this is crabboasting.

So yeah, I mean, it's just that I hate to. And yes, I think it's a pick your battles thing. And you don't want to like, you don't wanna like lose these friends, but it's like, you also, clearly a person who's not comfortable in these like extreme drinking situations. And you know, you can say like,

hey, could you guys slow down a little bit? But it's more, it's better just to like, be realistic about, if your friends or anything like all of us were in our early 20s, they're just gonna like, they're not gonna take that well. They're not even gonna be like,

they'll be like, because at that age, also set your boundaries. You're young, start doing that early. Set your boundaries. But also on some level. It's like It's like hey, I'm not they're not forcing her to drink. Oh, right. So they're like hey, I don't give a fuck what you do But you're not telling me yeah, yeah, I'll get fucked up. I'll push you down You know, I'm like I am getting fucked up as I want. Yeah, so yeah, I would just say like unless somebody's like a super close friend

And it's like you know, it's, it's a plan you all made together, you can't go out to a party and be like, hey, I'd really, I'd prefer if you stopped it for drinks. It's just a weird, it's just you're in a weird position and like, you're in the minority in that situation too. Yeah, and over time, you will find, like, you will, everyone will kind of mellow out whatever. And yeah, I think David's right where it's like,

just chill, like, pick your spots, hang out, maybe hang out with them when they're, when you can tell when like the perfect storm of them getting insanely fucked up is like, you know, whatever college you go to, they just want a big football game, there's two for one, the Bud lights, you know what I'm like, when you can,

you're like, oh, oh, if I die, it's two for one, the Bud lights, you know what I'm like, when you get, you're like, oh, you guys block out, it's coming, right? Stay in door, take shelter for those. And then if it's more of a chill situation to be there, but it's like, you really can't, you really can't affect this kind of drinking. Now, if we miss Red you and you have a youthful voice and your friends are in their fucking late 20s, early 30s,

I think you actually can have a conversation that's like, hey, man, when we hang out, can you just not get that fucked up? We're not not fucking 20s. You can even say that, we're not fucking in our 20s. Yeah, 20s anymore. Like just chill out. This is kind of like sloppy behavior. Out of this lady is 55 years old.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A voice actress. She does the voice for Tommy Pickles. That's why she sounds so young. That's so, he's so weird when she's just the oldest lady of all time. Oh, you know, my friends won't stop being black. Yeah.

Yeah. So anyway, good luck. Hope that helps, but people are fucking animals and they're 20s and they're in their early 20s. Yeah, they're just gonna go hard and break shit. And they deserve that. They do, a little bit. We need those stories to early 20s. Yeah, they're just gonna go hard and break shit. And they deserve that. They do. We need those stories to deal with those.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To fill podcasts. Of course. It's true. It's true. What if Langston had never had that embarrassing drink? We would have lost a solid three and a half minutes of rift. Oh.

Talking in at an hour 27, no thanks. solid three and a half minutes of riffing. In at it. Hour 27. Hit us with another one, Eld. Yeah, what a job. Love you. Love out of love. Love the show.

You guys do your great job. Probably have a great guest on today. You guys always do. Yes. I'm killing it. I'm calling having great guests on today. You guys always meet us. I'm always a good guest. I'm killing it. I'm calling today about a strange issue I have. Never have to deal with my life.

But I'm from California from the very area. I got a lot of friends. You are different cultures in me. Most of you a lot of lives as a start. But you know, friends, you know, we got like my black friends and stuff like that. Eight friends is uh, you know, we got like my black friends and stuff like that. Yeah, friends. Very, very quieter.

Make sure people right. That's always a weird move. You white. So it was like just a little quieter. It's like, let's get my black moon. Especially because he's talking about one guy. That's my guy for sure. Yeah, a programmer.

A programmer, he knows. I got Reggie. knows I got my Reggie and Reggie's got his Reggie All right, Asian friends is very very easy to listen to and the one that is you white youth there and you know everyone loves like embracing their own culture you know I got my Chinese friends,

you learn how to keep answering, you're like, cooking the food, loving it. All my other friends, you know, very into like their own families and their own cultures and stuff. It's awesome. You know, it kicks out, we got a cool mixture of things going on. And, you know, it's, I followed them down those paths and they've always told me, you know, like, you know, you followed them down the path and they always told me, you know, you know,

you gotta do your own thing. Like, I'm not like, you know, copying everything. They're like, you know, in very serial culture, like find out those things from your roots. And like, they're just asking you to stop using that accent when you talk to them. Maybe just don't save me so horny with it. We're just embracing each other's qualities. And every time we get serious, he's like, oh, delicious. with the phone. Yeah. We're just embracing each other's phone games. Every time we get serious, he's like,

oh, delicious. It's so good. So fresh. So, you gotta start with that. Be your own guy, man. Mark Rammers pissed. Yeah. All right, let's see what he's,

this is the rare long call with no transcription that I'll just let slip through. So I'm guessing it's good. This is one of those like, I'm skeptical, but I'll allow a counselor. So I hope you're going somewhere with this eldest. So this is great. Um, thing is my very Southern, like United States Southern, like my family's been here since like early 1600s.

Oh no, right, right. Southern, like United States Southern, like my family's been here since like early 1600s. Oh, no, not really much like wealth culture that I've been like that. I mean, I've been so fucking long. I think a lot of like, you know, Arkansas South. And whatever I try to really bring those things up, talk about those things, do some of the stuff I think is fun, like, you know, cook them like crawdads and like, you know, shooting guns and driving boats from like lake ships. A lot of it isn't that with like, hey, that has a troubling past connected to it, that's kind of racist, don't do that stuff.

Which I get. So now I'm in this position where it's like how do I embrace that or like really honor that and kind of like touch base with my you know my heritage a little more without like without it coming off because there is so many negative associations with it. There's a lot of bad stuff and a lot of bad things you've got. So how do I kind of show that without really like triggering people to think about, you know, what's associated with it? I mean, I try to be as respectful as possible. I'm a big Bernie Sanders guy.

Yeah, I'm with you. You can tell because of how nervous you are doing. Making you feel bad about themselves. So we're kind of hiding it a little bit. But like, I don't know. Does this point where like you've ever had to deal with like, you know, Greek culture like if ending people, I don't know. But never. Yeah. Okay. I see what he's getting at. Yeah. It could have gone by the way way worse. Yeah. For sure. I was sure'm gonna have to keep being tired. Okay. I see what he's getting at. Yeah. It could have gone by the way, way worse. Yeah, for sure. I was for sure he was gonna be like,

so they don't like it when I say pee pee in their coat. Yeah. Yeah. But that was, that was understandable. I mean, I think it's tough because you might also, like, crawdads are not racist. Like, that's a tough thing. It's like, you kinda, you kinda did go the right way.

And if I were this guy, I would try and get, yeah, like some fun hillbilly shit, which is like, have a crawdad boy, like, you know, maybe shooting guns is fun, but maybe you're in the Bay Area, maybe they're just like not done people. But like, it's a liberal swan. I lived there for years.

I know there's like, there is a high-percent sensitivity to that type of thing within the Bay Area where I could see it like he's being shut down. He's for sure. Like, hey guys, I want a hoot and holler. Whatever the fuck they do in Arkansas. But I do agree with them that he needs to find a way to touch into what he's into.

For sure. I do think that also think that, and I think we've reached a point where we have to stop calling everything that white people do racist. I know, that's the thing is like this guy, I kind of feel for him because it's like, what he's described so far is like, if it's like, like food is kind of the great equalizer here. It's like just do a little recipe. It's like, the guy, there were, like as hard as it is to believe it's like,

there were people that weren't racist or that being explicitly racist wasn't a part of this specific like dish or thing or like. But even if it was yeah fucking yummy You know, I mean it's like that could put a lot of butter in it She was still making crazy fucking pies. I'm out here. I'm eating shwarma I don't know if they're human, you know, where a lot of shwarma makers specifically stand on

maybe trans rights. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And you're right. It's like, we have to kind of, it's, it has gotten too far where it's like, this guy's just, people are asking him to be a part of it.

Yeah. He's like, hey, here's some, here's a recipe from my Arkansas great-grandmother and they're like, how did she feel about black? People's like, you know how she felt about that. That doesn't matter. Can we have some cobbler? Yeah.

Like, also, if you're a foreigner, a lot of your grandparents feel a lot of bad ways. A hundred percent. A lot of people, a hundred percent. I'm not bringing my grandma in to say what she thinks about you guys. Yeah. It's bad.

Right? It's bad. So, you know what I mean? It's like, no, that's a great point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we're doing that kind of thing. Absolutely right. There's a racist.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sending, and the vocals are too. I just think, I think we've reached a point where we are so hyper aware of what white people's history was Yeah, in this country that we just go at racist Right, bro. Yes, but no Yeah, yeah Behind that works like you guys are pretty wrong. It's like all right Yeah, it's a society supposed to continue. We're also supposed to be moving forward

Right, we're also supposed to be better than our ancestors. Like, we're all supposed to be more open-minded and more cultural and having to make so. It's like, if I were this guy, it's like, yeah, what do you do with some Arkansas? Shit, I think you're kind of on the right track with like, food is always a nice cultural thing to do. I mean, food's a good, that's the easiest one.

And then it's like, four wheelers. Four wheelers, hell yeah. I mean, food's up there. That's the easiest one. And then it's like four wheelers. Four wheelers, hell yeah. I mean, it's a moonshine. Yeah, the stuff is not going. Yeah, yeah. Just take out the guns. Take out the gun. That's like scary for people.

That's something. I love it, but I get it. Yeah. But like, yeah, for anything like fishing is probably a thing that you found when you did the tug. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time to have us blowing into a jug Going into a jug wearing overalls with nothing underneath

What around there put the love that yeah, yeah, I think that all that stuff is very good, I think. But yeah, dude, that's, I just, the hard thing is like, it sounds to me that people telling you to not bring it up, it's tough because we don't know, like they're probably just being dickheads to be honest with you. It's like, I know we're having, this guy is so nervous. He's so nervous.

He's clearly done a lot of work to integrate. If that's where he's from, and he moved to the Bay Area, and he has this peer group, he's clearly done a lot of work to integrate himself and to be understanding and whatnot. So it's like, you gotta give the guy, you gotta reach back in.

Of course. Give the guy, help the guy out a little bit. Yeah, you gotta meet this motherfucker more than half way. And it's like, you shouldn't feel this nervous, you should first, first sharing a fucking recipe or whatever, you know, cooking some crawdads or whatever. And it's like, and maybe at the extreme end,

it's like, if your friends are being such dickheads about you, maybe those aren't also your friends. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah. It's like, maybe, and look, I'm not telling you to go fucking be QAnon, right? I'm not saying, I'm not saying go find more, I'm not saying go find actually racist white people

be friends with, but I'm saying like, there's, you could definitely, like, obviously we have a big problem where it's like, people say like, there's the extremes on both sides. And for the most part, right extreme is like, way more violent and shitty than left extreme. But left extreme is annoying. Like maybe they're not people they're gonna murder.

You know, I'm not super worried about like, crime, you know, like, fucking an insurrection or like them killing someone they don't agree with. But I don't wanna hang out with them. Yeah, I know, I know. Well, actually, every blabbering is not created equal. Every righty is not a good right-ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's absolutely... When I listened, it's not a good ranked. Yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely.

When I listened to this, I thought he was talking about the Filipino specifically. Yeah. They're the chillest actually. Phil Pino's are just the... Nobody's ever had to replace their Filipino for rock, dude. Yeah. You get a lot of interesting, like, yeah, it's like,

Phil Pino, someone have called them the party Asian, which I like, you know. I do like that. That's a fun, that's a, every Philpino friend I've had has always been a great, a great time. They are, they're always fun, they always have cool jerseys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them are black, it seems like. That's still, I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm still fit in my, yeah. That's the end word. Yeah, yeah. No studying word. Yeah, you're wondering if you're gonna let them. Yeah, yeah. How far am I willing to go at this bus stop?

Yeah. Maybe it turns out I don't care about that word. I'm when there's six of them. So anyway, buddy, good luck. And, you know, trying to get some, I'm sure Arkansas has some bang in desserts, some of the bang in, you know, talk about diabetes. You know what I mean? So, just try and share some of that shit.

And if people are being dickheads, maybe you need to find some less annoying friends also. It's a possible, let's shitty judgy friends. It's a possibility. Cause that's one of the greatest things about actual close friends. It's like, you then can behave fucked up. Because we have established that in reality,

we're all cool, we all believe, we're on the same page with human rights and racism all that shit. So now that we've established that, we can say some racist. That's when we get to the point. Amongst friends, you know, we can really let our hair down. And if you're being rowed for that, that's not your friendship.

Yeah. If it feels like a fucking HR power point, every time you hang out with your friends, those aren't your friends. There's a lot of Filipino jokes on the table in your relationship that you gotta get a chance to pick up. Yeah, it's your turn, baby. Yeah, absolutely.

Good luck. Oh, yeah. One more. What do you guys, boys, got time for one more? Yeah, that's right. Let's do a nut. Let's, let's, is it good when the finish is off with Eldus? All right.

I saw, I've looked, a couple of things. Not making a brief brief but I invited that being a great four Marguerite ships I had a six month page ship where I really didn't appreciate what I had and I as soon as I'd write out of these relationships I get really sad and like what they've got even though I fall I was in the moment super sad and everything I was probably the building, super sad and everything. This is probably more filthy or any and more fucking disgusting that I want to know, like what to do to stay on the fair,

grateful for what you have during the relationship. I know you've had some more experiences where you thought you were the man. Can I ask what do you what what are you doing to these people that make some feel like they love you're the person that should be answering this question. You know, I shockingly have some insight where you wouldn't believe where you wouldn't believe it is. I definitely have some insight on this question. This has been my experience.

So basically this guy is saying, he basically just takes every relationship for granted and then he just realizes he fucks up, which I definitely relate to. I have fucked up pretty much every relationship. I'm like, oh, if I fuck, I really should. I actually love that girl. When it's happening, you're actively being like,

I don't give a shit and then you're... It's not even I don't give a shit. I have this weird, I have these weird nerves of like, should I, do I even want this? Like I have this weird like, the anxiety about like, is this right? Am I, should I be with her? Should she be with me?

Like, I'm just overthinking everything where it's like, I'm not enjoying the relationship, but it's like, it stops me from like, the future freaks me out. And so if like, at any sign of like a problem, I'm just, I'm hardwired to be like, all right, well, if there's a problem, we should just like a stop.

You know, like we shouldn't work through it. Like this is a sign, this little problem is a sign to just break up, you know, to let it go, or you know, just some shit like that. So this guy seems to be in that kind of like, in that kind of mind frame where he just completely is fucking up his relationships and only realizing with the benefit of hindsight

that he actually would have liked to stick that out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's difficult, right? He's like, you gotta practice mindfulness, right? What's in here in it? Yeah, and I think for me, with the only thing that helped me kind of get over

this to be like, oh, those feelings are wrong and stupid. You know, like, everything I'm thinking is fucking dumb. I'm dumb. You got to be sure hardwired. Yeah. Totally. And it's hard to do. But I just, you just kind of have to stay in it and be like, I want this relationship

and kind of like intellectually remind yourself. And then eventually just kind of like, for me anyway, I don't know what what your situation is I don't know if it's exactly the same thing but you know just like let almost convince yourself we just remind yourself what you want and then just kind of like keep going after it and like and also remind yourself where you are now how like you're always sad you always fuck it up and the me that told me is realize like I would get up all in my head and worried because I'm like, well, you know, every relationship is like it has to be like perfect or we have to get like, or it has to be serious. It's like not really.

You just date someone and see where it goes. Stop thinking about what's gonna happen. Stop thinking about the problems in the future. Just enjoy what you're in. And I think that was, you know, that's a big, like I was in that thinking. I was in a pretty long relationship, you know, ultimately whatever it didn't work out,

but it was fine. And I've been fucking, I've been on the road so much that I haven't really dated, but it's like, I'm trying to bring those lessons into the next round of like, all right, when I'm home a little bit, and my life is a little regular, I have to remind myself like, but I feel it, I even feel it kind of happening

where it's like, I'll see a girl or old, it's like, when you're on the road constantly or you live in a different city, it's like, you have the cover of being like, wow, this is never gonna happen. How could I come here to you? Yeah, why? So, but I also feel myself when I do like, but you of being like, well, this is never a good idea. How could I come here to you? Yeah, why can't you? So, but I also feel myself when I do like, but you're still investing in that.

When I do like someone, and I'm like, I'm not even taking that cover, I'm just the same thought process as starting where it's like, here's all these other reasons why I wouldn't work, and like whatever it's like. All right. So I don't know.

Yeah, I do think that that is a sort of liberating moment in relationships where you stop making it about the outcome and just make it about the experience. Yeah, it's happening. Which is, we'll be huge for this guy. Yeah, it's right. It doesn't matter if you guys are together for 40 years or if you break up tomorrow,

like enjoy the fucking day. You still got sucked off. Yeah, you had come back to the show. No one's taking those suck offs away from you. And that's what I said in my wife most nights. Ha ha ha ha ha. Hey, you can't take this suck off back. Ha ha ha ha.

And I throw my hands up just like this. Ha ha ha ha ha. That's mine now. Ha ha ha ha. You can take my kid, but you can't take my suck off. What are all my two-star friends? What are all my two-star friends? What are all my two-star friends?

So yeah, buddy, I think those are, and yes, go to therapy and talk about this shit. The other thing I like to say about therapy for this show is like, go to therapy when you have something to work on. Yeah. You don't want to just go to be a therapy person like a game was very quick if you have but if you have a specific thing That's like this is a great example where it's like I I'm never grateful in a relationship and then when it ends I always miss them It's like something's going on. Yeah, if this pattern keeps having you. I don't know where it comes from

Obviously, we don't fucking read this a voicemail and none of us have any training. But, but some things going on here that I think is worth, we gave it our best shot. But some is going on here that's like, will help you, like you need to figure this out. Not just for your relationships or for your life. And, yeah, you want to yourself figure out what's going on. 100% your own happiness. So, you know, and also, like if you're feeling like you're the man, you want to do yourself to figure out what's going on. 100% your own happiness. So, you know, and also if you're feeling like you're the man, you're not. This also often happens where it's like you'll be with a woman who, her presence kind

of improves your life and your self-esteem. And then you're like, I could be getting bitches. You know what I mean? It's like, what am I doing here? Yeah. I'm just gonna be getting more putsty. Which is being ungrateful. Which is being ungrateful.

Which is like, oh, you've elevated me. Now let me take these skills. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna apply them to someone else. Yeah. You sure taking from me. Yeah.

Selfish or? So just remember that. It's like you're not the man. And the second she's gone, all that juice is gone too. And that's why men cheat, by the way. It would feel awesome to have both, to be like I have the morn. I have someone who's making me feel good about myself

and my life feels complete and she's like, elevating me and then it's like, but there are also all these random hot hors. Yeah. Also just fuck. is like elevating me and then it's like, but there are also all these random hot hors. Yeah. Also just fuck. And that is why cheating is like an age old. It fucking probably feels awesome.

Yeah. I was like, it's like skateboarding and eating a steak at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. If you can figure it out. Yeah. Yeah.

Two peaks at one. If you can figure it out, good for you. It's tough, it's in my blood. Cheating is in my blood. There was a, and so don't cheat, don't feel like you're the man and just try and stay, you know, remind yourself that you're great for all this stuff. And like we said, go to a little therapy,

work on this, talk to somebody who might know, but good luck a little buddy. We believe in you, pal. Yeah, you got it. Anyway, Fuzz, that's gonna do for us. Thank you so much for coming on the Please come back anytime you guys are in New York. Let me know. We'd love to have you back and you can't do ours Well if you ever change your mind I'm a bell you ever change your mind, I'm here.

I'm available. You ever decide to dissolve the brand? I'm here. Come on, Greg, we'll sneak right in there, man. Just change the non-American whites. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are our favorites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So go listen to the podcast, go see the boys on tour, and we will talk to you guys soon. See you next time. Bye-bye. I love it sweet, it's delicious, and I was eating a piece of mango, pretty cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move.

I would get a little fruit salad. You know, many times I've gotten sucked off, be like, this actually, one time, I don't have to worry, I was like, when I come back, I'm a fruit salad. And I thought it was smooth. And then some girl, after she fucking was like, that was so weird, you asked me to come over

for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't drinking at the time Well, they say mangoes are an effort easy. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I'll thank you for bringing me back on point Because I was eating the mango and I've oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards Yeah, and I was thinking to myself what if this mango made my dick hard What if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else.

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Yeah. All right. I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed.

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