Stavvy's World - #47 - Ali Macofsky

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

Ali Macofsky returns to the pod to discuss seeing a womb witch, drinking the Shia LeBeouf Kool-Aid, the blissful delusions of youth, and much more. Ali and Stav help callers including a Youtuber who got a salacious pic from a fellow Youtuber in the DMs, and a guy from a Stav crowd work moment whose life is going well but is frustrated that his wife is in a slump. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVVY to score $200 IN BONUS BETS INSTANTLY when you bet just $5. For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Follow Ali Macofsky on social media: https://alimacofsky.com/https://www.instagram.com/notalimachttps://www.tiktok.com/@notalimachttps://twitter.com/notalimac Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. We're here, we're in the studio, we're talking, we're talking poppin' stuff. We can't say it yet. What we were talking about popping. We got ease into it, we're really trying it. We've been pretty good about not getting demonetized despite, well I don't know, I don't want to get. It's been, you know, we're kind of recording in the future. We have some pretty interesting episodes coming up, but you know, we're gonna save what we're gonna pop

For five minutes in I don't remember exactly how it goes, but when I just a question just came to mind Please when you're saying opa. Oh, by yeah Why not I just had like five thoughts of the city. Please no great Oh, no, no, no, god, Numstile is at Greece and Spider-Dome. No, no, no, I don't know what that was. But it was interesting to be like, maybe we're not so different. Yeah.

Because Greek people did latch onto that, and they were like, this is interesting. I will say Greek raises some towards agents is like almost like patronizing. Oh. They think they're like cute little guys. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, aww. It's very infantilizing.

Yeah, yeah. It's a little bit of that, or like, you know, obviously. And the only like Asian person Greeks respect, at least, 10 years ago when I was, and I'm only talking about my racist stupid family, by the way. That's another thing you realize when you're foreign. My whole idea of what Greece was like was based off of my family who are stupid and mean. You know what I mean? Like, and I met my friends family

and they were just like, polite. You know what I mean? And then you're wrong, my family's incredible hospitality. You know, Ali, I bet you're pumped about the NBA season coming back just like I am. And I have very good news for you and For our listeners because the Draft King Sportsbook as you covered on all your first week NBA is back action That's right. Get in on the NBA action with the Draft King Sportsbook download the app now and use code

Stavi to sign up new customers can bet just five dollars and take home 200 instantly in bonus bets only on DraftKing Sportsbook with code. Stavvy, is that interesting, Ali? Like if we were to go... As long as you're not a creator. Well, I think they would do that, but they would like smile the whole time. You know what I mean?

Like what? Like the way that like if you met like a mythical creature. Like if you like help the unicorn. Like if you let a you met like a mythical creature, like if you like helped a unicorn, like if you let a unicorn to like a nice pond to have a fresh drink, you know what I mean? And you'd be like, so you'd be like, this is awesome. That's how like my aunt would be just staring

at like a little Korean lady eating suvlaki. She would just be like, oh, like you know what I mean? Like giggling and being like, you know, they would, I'm not gonna say what they would do with their fingers, what parts of their faces, they may or may not stretch out and laugh behind somebody's back, I'm not gonna say that.

But yeah, it would be like, but it would be incredible. Don't get wrong. They would take care of you. They would just, you know, be kind of rude or you know, not even rude, but just like be so delighted by an Asian person. Like I really, that's a great question. I don't know if my aunt has ever seen an Asian person.

I don't think so. I mean, the Olympics. Like I think, like when Athens had the Olympics in 04, that was probably it, but it's like, they don't have any, you know. So, so that's question one, Opa Gangnam Style. No, no relation, but, you know, good song. But then I was wondering when you said Opa,

the whole tradition of like breaking glass, did that start, like our Greeks like clumsy and they're like, let's just make this our thing. Did they play it off? Yeah. I don't think so. I think it's actually pretty related to, it's, like I've said, I think I've said it's for

in the podcast where it's like, the first person I ever saw make it rain in a strip club or rapper tradition is Greek people at a family like, like a wedding or a baptism because it's just like, you're just like showing off, you know, like, yeah, I'm celebrating so much, I don't care, I'm going crazy, I'm rich, I'm doing good.

And I think plates that is that similar thing. If you don't have money, you're like, well, I don't have my own money to burn, but I'm not, and now I got to get new dishes. Yeah, just that's kind of money. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I really think it's basically that. In truth.

It's showing off that you're like, you're having such a good time. You don't even give a fuck. You'll just shatter all your, you know, all your plate. Fine China. Yeah, yeah. Which I guess if you take it now, you could be a, people could be snapping laptops.

Just like, you know what I mean? Like getting an iPad. We need to update that for what's, you know, cracking their Apple watch. A lot of good stuff. But you don't get, it's not, it doesn't feel as good as throwing it in. Is that like a real thing?

Like people are actually doing that and like not as a bit anymore? Not only is it a real thing, but, well my mom literally asked me today, she texted me for, she's in Greece right now, my cousin's getting married, so I'm going to Greece. By the time you hear this folks, I'll be, me and Nellis will be on the sandy beaches of I won't say the island

Oh, you're right, too. I'm going to Albania for a week before it Yeah, we're gonna meet up Yeah, and then if he clears quarantine and is allowed in to Greece he'll come We'll come to the island. Well, they'll let me tell Bami and no problem They'll let you to be in there. No problem. Yeah, no problem. I just mean, no, no, not Corona. I mean, Albanian quarantine. Oh, you're best.

Well, they'll be in on you. Yeah, Elders has to line up, get firehose, hold his nuts. I gotta get two laps. I haven't get the laps for all of them going into the country. But yeah, he's going Albanian, then he's gonna, and we got a nice little crew. Another friend of ours was meeting us there. We rented like some nice. I did ask to be your plus one and you didn't respond Sorry, we add actually we don't have the space

But you know something changes. I'll let you know. I'll be there It's gonna be an interesting wedding. I don't wanna, you know what, some stuff is not for content. This is for, but I am looking forward to it for sure. But the point I was saying is, my mom, Greek people use something called Vibre. That's the app that use the communicate.

Okay. Which sounds like an off-brand, like a gay hook up. Yeah, absolutely. It sounds like fake grinder. Like Vibers sounds like, like, it sounds like, like, you know, grinder for Android is Vibers. Yeah.

No, it sounds like a gay hook up app where you don't touch each other, you just use toys. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah, just vibing. Yeah, yeah, it's like, you're right. Maybe it's like a less, it's like for gay nerds They're like like we can't just meet up and get you won't find me on all fours

asshole pre-loved on on Viber that's grind Viber maybe we have a little salsa dance. We salsa dance, you know what I mean? We play we play some Marine game music and then we kiss for a long time. Yeah, anyway, my mom on that app, my mom texted me. Yeah, she's like bring the butt plugs. She texted me to bring like, she asked for at least $200 and ones to toss for the wedding. Like my mom is ready to make it rain at my cousin's wedding and she was like,

I can't believe it, I forgot the $100. Do you not have ATMs? I don't know. Well, euros are the two, it's all up until two, it's coins. Should've make it rain, you're just gonna fucking whip it. $2. You're like, you're just fucking whipping dollar euros. You leave your wedding with a black guy.

Fuck, fuck. So yeah, I think, I think that, and there's some about, yeah, I know, the euro also, it's like, it's like that plasticy money. It's not for making it rain. No, there's no, like, it doesn't fall. That's a feel nice, you can't do this. That nice paper dollar And then what happens like the bride and groom at the end of the night? They just have to sadly sweep up. You sweep up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey bride and bride you How dare you yeah

You're going to a big fat gay way big fat gay Greek wedding Yeah. What is that? You're going to a big fat gay wedding. Big fat gay Greek wedding. Yeah. Where's that movie? I'm trying to pitch it. Damn.

I'm trying to pitch it right now. If I have to get sucked off by one of my cousins gay friends to get a green lit, so be it. Yeah. I'll do whatever it takes for Hollywood. So now, do you worry? Because I'm always in my family, if they were making it right into wedding, I know that me and my dad would be swiping our feet on the floor.

You're telling me to absolutely have a shop vac going. You're the every one of the shop vacs through his pant leg. Any coffee, but oh, the try and get those sounds. You'll get the quietest shop vac boss will just suck up as many dollars as possible. He's just having a ghost, boss, ghost, ghost. He's like, guys, look, I got fireworks for the brideroom. And while the sound, everyone's just,

I think he's just, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Does him you want to? No, it's very poor form to steal the right group's dollar bills. Not to my dad. When we were little kids, we would do it. That was always a fun thing. The person who always does this, like, like a four year old. And it's really cute. And you might let him keep, you know, fun. Yeah, exactly.

Like a four year old doesn't like, I got to get hundreds. It's $10. $10. I can buy anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I definitely remember being a little kid and and trying to steal yeah Trying to steal the money, but yeah, there it is really funny because you do have like some old guy on sweeping duty Yeah, just like but they put the they put everything in like, you know garbage bags like a stripper at the end of the night It's really cute. Yeah. So I'm excited for that. I got my Hawaiian shirts. I'm gonna be packing like five.

What's the weather gonna be like? Just nice, I hope. I mean, you know, it's Greece. Greece now is so great. I mean, if it's not on fire, there's always there's always like wildfires in Greece because it gets, people think of Greece is like, I mean, you only think about the beach, but it's like kind of arid and deserty.

So it's like if there's not enough like rain, I feel like every year I go, some part of Greece is burning, like it's fucking crazy. But you know, hot as shit, beach, I'll just be lounging. I'm going, I'm going earlier than the wedding, and I'm not telling my cousin so that she

doesn't make me do anything. I'm just gonna show up day before the wedding. They're really you're so tan. Just got here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I had a really nice easy flight over. But yeah, I am, it'll be nice. I mean, I haven't, I'm trying to to think, I haven't really gone to too many wearing most of my friends or losers. Yeah, they're just like not, they're losers, they're just scared of being married. I had one, went to one like college, one morning right out of college, it was really fun.

Accidentally, I was trying to microdose acid and I just regular dose acid. And me and the fellas were fucked up for that wedding. But it was so fun. I'm like, you know, I'm like dancing with the groom's mom, just on acid. I'm just like, you know, flirting with his mom, being like telling this to that,

I'm gonna fuck his wife, stuff like that, fun stuff like that. They loved it. I won't say their last name, but it was the groom's father's name was Dick and I called him Big Dick. Yeah. Got a kick out of that. That's right.

You have to, if you're names Dick. Big Dick, no one was doing it. Lil Dick. No, no, no, no, no, well his son, well, whatever. I don't want to say who I mean doesn't fucking matter No one will be able to track these people down But he has someone his family someone his family his son is named after him And we would call him the little dick in front of his dad his dad loved that He's that love not only being big dick, but having a position of authority over his son, and letting him know his dick was bigger than his.

Same guy, let us go in his hot tub. It was just seven bros in the tub. That's just beautiful. Just sipping on bud lights. I was like, yeah, college is pretty fucking awesome. Are they still married? Still married. Oh, that's good.

I know, I know, really good. Yeah, I feel like a lot of college weddings don't, people get married right out of college, just don't, it doesn't work out. Had a friend from high school who got married and I wasn't invited to the wedding, but they're like, you can come and crash like the party thing. Yeah.

And it was like a bunch of people from high school. Wow. And I kind of like, was it recent? This was like four years ago. Okay, nice. This was probably three years ago because they had the wedding at the height of Corona. Oh wow.

It had been rescheduled once because of COVID and then the second time they're like, we're just doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was, I would say like maybe three years ago. Okay. And it was so many people from my high school and so I was like, I'm not gonna go to the 10 year reunion

but like this will be, this is like my moment to kind of shine. Yeah, yeah, let all you losers know what's up Yeah, and it was so fun. Yeah, you did. Oh, yeah, you went in on it was like How's Hollywood Great that yeah Yeah, it's great. That's awesome. And that's interesting too, because you were going completely soap, you're sober. Yeah. So it's just revenge.

It's not even having a good time. No. It's just like show up look better. Yeah. Probably than you maybe ever have in your life. Like how much did you try to look hot? Oh, so hard. Yeah.

Yeah, I wore like a sexy little, classy little dress. Of course. You want to be trying too, too hard. Yeah, and then I wore like a sexy little Classy little dress. You want to be trying too too hard? Yeah, and then I and it was nice because I like I just got to go to the fun part And then I left kind of early so people would be like she probably asked She's got to be back to doing big stuff gotta go open for Rogan in a arena. Yeah, sorry Constantly arena. Sorry, it comes to outlay. I don't do a 15,000-seater, but I have fun at your real estate job tomorrow. Was there anyone in particular? Was there like a person you really want to get in the gun? No, you know what? I'm doing it for effect. Yeah, I respect real estate agent I just felt bad as soon as I said but I like there's nothing wrong. It's being a real estate agent We need you now more than ever

It wasn't even like it was honestly. I think it's I like over compensated by like pretending to be a bitch just now But honestly it comes from a really sad place where there there's like three guys who I was in love with in middle school and high school, and they were so repulsed by me, so I had to just go back and just gonna be like, hey Trevor. What's up, Trevor? I'm looking hot now, and you look like,

how do they look, are they looking good or bad? It's, when you're like in high school or middle school and your taste is just so awful, it's just like a guy who has a Justin Bieber haircut and you're like, this is my husband. No, it's like, it's like little kids have the, are going by the same like prison rules essentially. Yeah. It's like, whatever is at your school, it's not like, it's just

like, it's, it's all ranked. Yeah. Right? It's a zero sum game. Yeah. So it's just like, just some guy will be, you know, know that's you have that and then you want to fuck like Harry Styles You know, it's like those it's just schools Harry Yeah, it's like you are the Harry Styles of high school. Yes, but how are they looking now is my question?

Yeah, they look they look like they didn't heist like they're cute You know, but no one's downfall has come. Yeah But if I had, yeah, that's my favorite is, you know, waiting on the downfalls. Yeah. Although I didn't really, I didn't have too many enemies in high score. Anyone that I really, it was more same thing where it's like I just wish any woman would a girl in high school would have not even had sex to me just like show me your titties once. Yeah.

I mean like one girl from high school would have just been like sex with me just like show me your titties once. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like one girl from high school would have just been like, you know, giving me a little smooch. That would have probably done it for me. But yeah, it's not like I really want anyone to, I'm trying to think if there's anyone I want to, there was one kid who was like, I got, I didn't get in many fights and I got into like, he was like this scrawny little kid and he just was like I don't know. I would obviously have a big mouth Right, I would roast people and I think he was just people would roast him in general. He was a skinny

effeminate child in Baltimore city public schools And you know a lot of a lot of homophobic slur on not by me a lot of homophobic slurs were hurled at him you know and I don't even think he was just think he was like a slight you know a kid who like couldn't he was just like a skinny kid yeah and for some reason and look it's the it's like it's every it's every man for himself in high school. So it's like, I think he was just looking around and he saw fat and white. And he's like, all right, I'm not doing good with anybody here, but maybe I can get the fat white kid.

And so like, he went after him. He would go, he went at me so like saying really crazy like out of pocket shit to the point where I was like, everyone was kind of shit. To the point where I was like, everyone was kinda like, what the fuck? I was like, I just have to hit this kid. Like he was saying that, that level of fucked up shit. So I was just like, I just like, you know, I still remember it and it's like,

we got broken up fast and I was kind of embarrassed because I'm like, damn, he got to me this much and like, you know, I had anger problems and my dad had anger, I hated when that would happen. So you're just sitting there in that post angerangry thing, but I was still like, fuck that kid. And for years, I harbored this grudge. I was like, that kid did not have to go after me that hard.

And then I worked at a community college. And I was a testing center at a community college. And I see basically people, this was maybe like, you know, six years after it was just a shitty job I had while doing comedy. So it'd be like maybe six years after school. And I see a name that's sort of familiar. I'm like, oh, that's interesting. I don't remember.

And I'm like, who the fuck is that? Did I go to like school with them? Because I was like, I was gonna have to check him in in person and I search his Facebook, because there's the Facebook arrow. And it's the same kid I got into a fight with and he is jacked now. He is like fucking like 250 pure muscle.

No, what? Yeah, he might have had a growth spurt like, and he looked the exact same. He had the same baby face. He was like like he's one of those kids who like had like a really short cut like even when he was young He had kind of like a just stubble, you know like a really cruel and now is just completely bald He just looked like this he was a jacked bodybuilder and I saw that I was just like hey guys I'm gonna go to lunch real fast I just completely ducked this kid, and I even like waited, I even waited,

and like I knew how the community college was laid out. I knew a place you could like watch people go to the testing center, and I was like, I was like a sniper, I was like, I was such a coward. And I just like, I wanted to see him enter and be like, fucking is him. Like I was in part of me, it's like, I can't be him. And I was like, and I was like wanted to see him enter and be like, fucking is him. Like I was in part of him, he's like, I can't be him. And I was like, and then I just like,

and then I think you can like look up even like his info because it was like, I worked for the school and it was like, you know, I was like, fuck this is the kid. And I just like wait for him to fucking leave. Dude, I bet if you like stayed there and like saw him and talked to him, he would have been like, I wouldn't be this jacked without you.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you brother. Well, one other time, he kind of snuck up like, I just wasn't, you know, I was just, it's not like I was a good employee. There's one of those jobs you do when you're doing open mics and you're hungover. And one time he did like much later, he actually, we did, he checked in.

And I didn't even see the name or anything. I just saw him and I was just like, I just said kind of froze. I was like, hello. And he was like, I think he looked at me. I also looked different because I had, I, it's really funny because I had long hair in high school. Like, I actually look closer to high school now.

Like obviously I look like shit. I look like the, I look like, you know, my life went bad for 15 years. You know what I mean? You go up to him and you're like, this is because of you. Yeah, yeah. But like I had, I had like not without balding.

I just had long hair. I had like stubble whatever. I didn't have any, I didn't have glasses. And by the time he saw me, I was rocking everything completely bald with like these glasses. So there's a chance, he didn't see my name, right? So there's a chance he didn't know who I was. And he just, we kept it very polite. But then just seeing him in person, I was just like, fuck. That really isn't, and he still had,

it was funny because he did have, again, he's not gay. I'm not having him for being gay, but he had a weird little voice. He was so jack and he still had that weird little voice. And part of me was like, you know, even being scared of him physically now, I was like, fucking pussy, it was like, a little bitch ass voice.

He's like, you know, like an eyepitch, it's a voice motherfucker. In my head, of course, fucking pussy, it was like that. Little bitch ass voice. You know, little like an eye bitch, the voice motherfucker? In my head, of course, in person, I was just like, your test is at the back of this room three, sir. Good luck. Please see my colleagues, they will be proctoring and you should have everything you need right there. Thank you.

You know, but man, that's the one, it's so funny to have like one enemy for my score I remember, and he just completely dominating me. Like he just jacked beautiful wife and kids. I was just like, I'm doing open mics, working on fuck, he's getting like some kind of accreditation

in the community college to get a better job. It's so funny because it's so easy to convince yourself. Like you see that and you're like, he's doing good. But in your head, you're like, no, I'm crushing like five open mics tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he doesn't understand. Like I'm really crying.

I am in the top 25% of Baltimore open mic comedies. Very soon I will be working at Magoobe's joke house regularly. Fuck. Yeah, that's... But everybody else, actually, I do kinda... I just, I liked my high school. I just didn't get pussy. That was my one thing. That's tough in high school. It's very tough.

It's very tough. That's the one thing that you want. That's the one thing that you want. That's the one thing that you want. But at least I didn't have enemies. Although I do wonder if I am certain people's, like, is that definitely, in my head, it's like the Liz Lemmon 30 Rock episode.

Do you know that episode? Do you watch 30 Rock? A little bit. Well, there's an episode where she talks about how she was always like bullied in high school or whatever. And they just, she goes through her high school reunion and just flashes back and it's like, she was just an awful nerd who cut down people and everyone, they were afraid of her because she was a bully.

I hate to say there's probably a little bit of that where it was like I did just that same thing that gets into me when it's like sometimes I'm just shitting on someone on stage. It would happen to me in real life and I just couldn't let it go. And when I'm on a roll it is awesome. It feels so good when you just have good one after good one, just couldn't stop. I'm sure certain kids hate me, but it's all good. You know, everything. Oh, my end. Water onto the breeze.

Let me know if you want some tickets. We'll be in Baltimore, October, second weekend in October, free tickets to the Thursday late show for you guys. Just a eldest at Stavvy.biz if you want free tickets. If I bullied you in high school, EldesetStovey.biz and please have proof. You're like, hey, if I bullied you in high school, I have no bad blood.

That's why I didn't know. Yeah, I'm not even working on it. We're all getting water under the bridge, brother. Eldes, you don't have any, do you have any high school enemies? I'm not working on it. You're all kidding. Water under the bridge, brother. Well, you don't have any. Do you have any high school enemies? I don't know. Do you have anyone you'd love to see, like, perish, or do you?

I don't have any enemies. I do remember, like, there was, like, an informal reunion a year or two after we graduated and stuff. And it was at some bar in, like, Baltimore. Of course, yeah. I went there and, like, I walk walk in I'm like, where is everyone? It's a pretty big place. I think there's like a little side room I go into this little room. That was booked and the first thing I see is like my ex from there and

her like new boyfriend who was just like some like 400 plus pound dude probably, and they're, and they're as a couple, they're just, so she had a type. Hahaha. Fat loser. Hahaha. Well, you know, he's fat whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but I walk in there, the first thing I see is like them

doing couples karaoke of idiot boyfriend by Jimmy Fowl. Oh, what? This is fucking. Why? This is fucking. Yeah, I'm like, this is fucking awesome. Yeah, you, you, it's crazy for you to get such a win that fast after, after high school. Yeah, which, you know, I didn't have any bad blood

with her or anything, but I was like, okay, this just feels great for me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't have bad blood, but you had, it was neutral. Yeah, right? It wasn't even good. You don't even wish her. It's had, it was neutral. Yeah, right? It wasn't even good. You don't even wish her.

It's not like a, well. It's not like I was just heartbroken for months and months after we split. Yeah, but that feels good to be like, oh, you're a lizard. You're losing the fucking breakup and I'm not doing good. Like it's like, hell, this scored one point.

It was like one and you're like, I'm sure she's put up better points than this. And it was like, no, she's a negative two somehow. Her life's gotten worse. I've done nothing to win, but my opponent has just done so much to lose. Yeah. That feels very nice.

I am. I had a loan in the bathroom in high school. You what? I had a loan. You ate a loan in the bathroom? Yeah. But it wasn't like I was being bullied. It was like me thinking like, it was me on some weird

sad shit where I'm like, no one understands me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta be alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No one gets me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was really weird. And the bathroom, there wasn't a better place to eat alone?

No, I don't think I did it for very long. Okay, but you had a short time. But a few times, yeah, because I think it was like, I must have not had a car at the time. Or else I would have just eaten a lot in my car. Yeah. And I had teachers that I liked and I probably could have, but I think, you know too,

and did you guys see that like Cole Sprouse interview with Alex Cooper, like on call her daddy, where he's like, can I smoke cigarettes in here? Oh, yeah. He's like artists or twist, yeah. I think I was like going through that in high school, where like, can you go to school with those kids? No, but they were my neighbors.

They were your neighbors, yeah. Their grandma was my neighbor. Because I saw you posting pictures of those kids from like Big Daddy age. And I was like, it was the little ass you. And it was so cute. You look just like, some people just look like a little version. I was like, there's no mistaking that it was you.

So it was adorable to see little you. And then like, what the fuck the kids from Big Daddy? What the fuck is this? Yeah, it was my fourth birthday party. They were there? They were my first birthday party. Yeah, they...

They must have been big celebs at the time. Yeah, but I think when you're a kid, like it was cool for the parents who are at the party, but I think when you're a kid and you're that young, you're not really like hip on the- Of course, that they're on T. Who's who? And especially like in Long Beach.

Yeah, yeah. It's not like some LA, it's like very much like just suburban Long Beach. It, in Little Kids, it's this thing where it's like, seeing someone on TV is cool, but it's like seeing like a friend. Like when little kids like see Mickey, they're like, oh, what's all up, dude, but they're not like, oh, you know, so it's like, like a friend. Like when little kids like see Mickey, they're like, oh, what's up, dude?

But they're not like, you know? So it's like, even if you saw you that they were in a movie, it's just like, oh yeah, whatever. So people are in movies. Like babies react to famous people the way everyone should react to famous people, you know? Oh, cool. And then just, so what's up?

You guys like cake? Yeah, yeah. But then they would I I saw them because they would come over to our house a lot because they were closer to my sister's age So if they were like with their grandma they would hang out with us and play and whatever and then I was working at the shitty job in LA and I was working like the register or whatever and one of the twins had come into the in the register, whatever, and one of the twins had come into the restaurant with his dad.

And I was like, I feel like I should say something. Like I wasn't like geeked up. I was just like, oh, this is crazy. Yeah, as you saw an old name, like if you just saw any old neighbor who walked into your restaurant, you'd be like, hey, what's up? So I'm like, okay, I was like, hey, one of you.

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, this is so I was like, hey, one of you. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, this is so random, but I was neighbors with your grandma. We used to play back in the day. They were like, okay. Wow. Actually, you were a fan. Like, first of all, relax.

It hasn't gone that good since Big Daddy. Okay, you peeked then. I get it, Riverdale, whatever the fuck for one of you. Even if that was the twin that I talked to. Yeah, and you don't even know. 505th chance. It's not like, it's like I'm making a human connection to you as your old neighbor.

Yeah. I don't give a fuck up. I'm not star fucking. Yeah, one of those twins has like an Instagram account that captures people trying to take sneaky photos of him. Oh my God. And it seems like he hates the fact that people recognize him in our fans of his or whatever.

And I am someone just being like, we used to, and he's not that either. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just an asshole. And also not that, yeah, no one talked to me. Yeah. Can it happen that much? I don't know. Can the sneaky pictures happen that much?

This ain't fucking Denzel. You know what I mean? We're not talking about, like, again, let's like, I mean, I get it. It happened like, whatever. It is weird when someone will. I don't really check my DMs, but every once in a while I'll just I'll pop in I got logged off

Twitter on my phone and it's been the best things that were happening Yeah, I just didn't log back in and I can only look at it for my computer And I'm not really on my computer, but I'll just go fucking strolling around like I like to just walk For exercise where you're so fat walking is like running a marathon every day, just going on a nice long walk. And people will, every once in a while, I'll open a picture and it'll just be somebody taking a picture of me in my head. Your face is just right. I'm just fucking sweaty.

You know, sweaty? Yeah. You know, an outfit exactly like this. I just walk around the tank. That's the problem. I can't, that's the thing. If you're one of the sprouts twins, you could have disguised yourself.

You know what I mean? You could get a haircut. You get a haircut, you wear some fucking a baseball cap, you're fine, right? It's hard, I would have to do a lot, not to look like me. You know what I mean? Like, it's not even worth it.

It's like, I'm not gonna dress different and get different glasses and get a wig to go to the fucking grocery store. If you see a guy that looks like this, it's probably me, right? So I'll just get like a weird picture of somebody from like just a picture of me just from behind or like from a side and I'm just with a backpack on taking a walk. It's like what did you accomplish for that fucking picture? And it's like okay,, you wanna take it fun.

Why send it to me? Why? Why? Like send it to your friends and be like, L.O.A. In fact, you know what, I'm actually gonna switch, I'm gonna switch this completely. I'm gonna switch my, my, my idea bit completely.

Don't post it online, don't send me, but if you can sneakily take a picture of me and show your friends and be like, LOL saw, stop eating a fucking croissant. Great. That's actually perfect. It's fun for the group chat. Sneaky pictures, actually, if you're sneaky enough,

great. That's, you know, so I don't know, I would just back up. And it's just, it's a weird move to make an Instagram About something you hate because you're just you have to think by making that Instagram. You're kind of Telling people you might get on this Instagram Totally. Yeah, you're only perpetuating it more. Yeah, it's fucking yeah, that's weird behavior But yeah, that interview was so in fact when, when I did Tim's show, I did Tim Dylan show,

he played it. It was fucking hilarious. That interview was just like, come on man, this is fucking crazy. Same. You think smoking cigarettes is cool. But you know what? Being 13. Exactly, and that's fine.

Exactly. And I'm sure when you're a child actor, you do get emotionally stunted at a certain age. So it makes sense in that way. Like me eating in the bathroom alone, it's like, I need this. It's part of my like, fuel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know?

And so I'm sure him being like, all artists are sadistic and twisted. It's like, yeah, because you have baby child actor friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just getting to the emo phase. Yeah. We're just getting to that phase where you think everything's so, because you had one minor set back.

When you're like 14, it's just like, you embarrass yourself for one second and you're like, I'm gonna go kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself. Ugh. Ugh. What? Okay, this is dark, but did you ever try and like,

not jokingly, but like as a kid try and like kill yourself but not like a Like in a funny way Like in a funny way that's not sad Like in a really silly happy way Like How would you maybe water drown yourself with one of those flowers a clown has I remember being really little or just just sorry I got a couple more Jumping into a bathtub with a karaoke machine

Your favorite tune. The Toaster, but for like a pop chart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, a, uh, uh, uh, Strew what are those called? Toaster strutals. Yeah, to nice warm toaster strutal. You're singing, uh, fucking jump by Van Halen and you're jump.

Into the bathtub to just electro electric hit yourself to death. That's a couple fun little wins of a ways. Babies might want a K-T-S. I definitely had like a, I never got to that, but I did write some of the like, sad post review. Yes, I had like a notebook. I'm like this weird poster about wanting to kill myself. And I remember my church weirdly had...

Can I do self-final? Yeah, they were like, if you're gay, you're your options. No, no, no. It was some kind of like therapy thing, which you don't think about church having, but that was the first time where I was like, oh, this is, everyone doesn't kind of think about,

but I never did anything fun. Why did you have a nice whimsical little kid? Yeah, I just remember being sad in like, and laying over my bed, saw the blood would rush to my hand. And I was like, this will do it. This will do it. It's all over after this.

Or just like, you know, when you're young and you just have so many emotions, like, do you remember the video? Like, it was like a viral video a while ago. Like, the kid getting so angry, he's like shoving the remote up his ass. Like, you know, when you the kid getting so angry, he's like shoving the remote up his ass. Like you know when you're just like so angry, you don't know what to do. He's just screaming, he has this remote, he like throws it and then he picks it up and he's like shoving it up his ass because he's just like he doesn't know what to do It's awesome to be like to do the math and be like yeah, this is the thing to do like throw the remote man

You're angry I guess that's the thing I never really got the throwing But I think so my ass I would usually just break I came from a very break things family Okay, like that's the thing is like you exactly I would usually just break. I came from a very break things family. Okay. Like that's the thing that's like, you act exactly. That's right. Maybe that is where I was playing one anger thing, somebody playing it off.

But we did a lot of throwing shit, we did a lot of, a lot of smash controllers in my house. A lot of like the traditional, you know, hole in a wall. But you didn't ever like do one of these. I think, yeah. Or you know what I would do, actually, that was. But you didn't ever like do one of these. Oh, like, yeah. I think, yeah.

Or you know what I would do actually, that was kind of the same thing to like rush the, I would like hold my breath. Oh, yeah. Get like red as fuck. And like my eyes would start hurting. And I'm like, I'm not gonna do it.

That's true. I would have to get so angry though. It would be in anger that I would that's you just brought back my very Mild Very mild suicide Yeah, one time I did pass out. I was fucking my eyes hurt so much because you know from holding your breath when you do that Yeah, you're just everything kind of gets fucking red but Yeah holding your breath. When you do that, yeah, everything kinda gets fucking red. But, yeah.

Fuck, what did you just say before that? I don't know. I don't know. Do you guys ever used to pass each other out with your friends? Like me and my friends just like go chill in the basement. And we had this mattress down there. And it's like your friend stands in front of you.

They put their hands on you like neck like this. And you take like 10 deep breaths, you hold the last one and then they like hold it and like you just pass out and you wake up on the mat. You're like, well, that was fucking awesome. You wanna go next John? I think we've talked about this last time I was on the pod, but I'm like, it's very indicative

of why I had to stop drinking because in middle school, during PE, we would just take turns. You'd like spin around in circles, you'd hold your breath. Yeah, we did talk about this. You do that and then you'd pass out. And I was like, I gotta get more.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did talk about this because then I remembered spinning around. I think I told the anecdote of how I snorted Adderall to spin around in a chair and play Gamecube upstairs at a party Like a party was going on a bunch of people like let's smoke weed and then eventually the girls left and we just stayed there and you know God damn such loser behavior So embarrassing so fucking embarrassing. It's also it also sucks because I'm like oh high school

You're young you're stupid and then there's things from like four years ago because I'm like, oh, high school, you're young, you're stupid, and then there's things from like four years ago where I'm like, oh no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm too old, yeah. It's over. I know, I'm really struggling with this right now where I'm just like, damn, this is,

no one thinks you just grow up to be the guy that still is like this. You know what I mean? Like one day I'm a cute little kid, and then I'm fucking fat as shit, 34 this hair, you know what I mean? Like not dating anyone, like everyone's, I'm dating younger people.

I'm like, how do I become this guy? How do I become just like, how do you become like the fat piece of shit? And we're just like no one dreams of this, who still gets fucked up, who still just doesn't sleep, doesn't have a good sleep schedule, who just like, you never think

you're just gonna keep acting like a little ass kid. You think you're just gonna be a good, like as a little kid, you're like, well, you grow up, you have a family, and it's like, damn, I'm about to be 35, still just acting a fool, you know? Yeah, and then you have a family and it's like, damn, I'm about to be 35, still just acting a fool. You know? Yeah, and then you see the people who do have families

and you're like, oh no, you're also like. Yeah, yeah, for sure. In loser, like we're all just in loser, man. Yeah, who, what is the right way to behave? It's tough, it's tough to say. I mean, one of my brothers is such a, like, he is such a pure family, man, that I think, but also he has no mental illness. He's just a like, he is such a pure family man that I think, but also

he has no mental illness. He's just a good, nice person. That's cool. And so I think maybe that's how it should be. Is you just like, you actually just want to have a family and you love it and you love working hard. He loves his job. He's really good at it.

He's personable, you know. But that seems kind of hard. I feel like almost nobody behaves that way. And I think like doing embarrassing stuff is still fun. Cause then you look back on it and you can acknowledge that it was embarrassing. Like at the time you're just like, no, this makes sense. I'm like aware of what I'm doing

and I won't look back on this and be embarrassing. And then you look back and you're like, oh, that was embarrassing. Of course it was embarrassing. But it was like obviously what I'm doing and I won't look back on this and be embarrassing And then you look back and you're like oh that was embarrassing But it was like obviously what I wanted to do at the time. Yeah, yeah, that's true But you know sometimes you want to do really dumb bullshit. Yeah Like when I had shaved my head. I I liked it fully shaved but that growing out part was so Fugley and terrible and I'm like thank God I was just allusional and so confident because looking back I'm like how did I have friends why did people still talk to me it was weird I remember that

that's funny everyone you did it I was like oh yeah that makes sense yeah that's funny she's gonna do this and I thought you would have this exact thing where you're like why did I do it like it felt like the kind of thing that, not every girl does, but like half girls do, where it's like they think it's gonna work for them. Yeah. And the ball, the exactly what you're saying, the completely shaped thing is a cool look,

but that the middle ground is so weird. We're gonna spank you. Yeah. Spanky middle ground. And then I was just bleaching it, and it was like, so I looked like a Barbie doll that it had been cut. Yeah, yeah was like the middle ground. And then I was just bleaching it. And it was like, so I looked like a Barbie doll that had been cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that when you were an extra in Shia LaBuff's art piece? Is that what your hair was like? No, it was, I did that afterwards. And it kind of tricked myself. I was like, oh, I'm going to shave my head and kind of have a fresh start, because that was really embarrassing. Oh, you did it after the shot. I did it after.

Because we, anything Davido was just here, and he was talking about how he like would hang out at that show. Wait, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he did a thing where, yeah, that's Davido is there. Okay, I need to talk to him. You should talk to him.

I just tell him we should both, we should have you both on. Because that was truly like when I was talking about embarrassing things. Because in adults, that was the only thing I was thinking. And I'm, yeah. Which was what, can you give a little backstory to everyone? was truly like when I was talking about embarrassing things. It's an adult, that was the only thing I was thinking. I don't know. Yeah. Which was what, can you give a little backstory to everyone?

Yeah, you know, I sip some of the shy of Kool-Aid and, um, Hey, God, so, and you were, what, you were 22? 22 or something. Yeah, yeah. I, I, yeah, I don't know. Wait, when did Trump get elected? Because that was like, that was what it was happening. Oh, it was the it was like what ignited

Shia standing up against Trump. Yeah, you were part of an anti-Trump Demonstration the machine of the mutant moving image Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what year was that 20s? 15 or 16? So what's the math on that? I don't fucking know. Eight years, not so much. Seven years old. So I was 20 years old.

Okay. I'm 20 years old. I'm in New York, one of my early trips here to do comedy. And you know, comedy's just at nighttime. During the day, I see a little child-alabuff pop-up thing. He will be there. You see it just on the internet? Yeah, so he was like on Twitter or Instagram or something.

And I was like, fuck, I could like me. I could just like kick it with fucking shy-alabuff. And you were a big shy-head at the time. I was a big shy- yeah, always. Eagle eye, who's that you say? Holes, dysterbia. Of course. Just death.

Holes was a great book as a kid, I don't know that shit. But I fucking love Shia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was, it was at the, it was definitely that was where it was like, okay, it's over. Yeah. But that was, he was still pretty high up. Yeah, and he was just doing weird shit. Like it was at the time when he was doing like the bag over his head and just being

a weird friend. And he had the thing where you was doing like the bag over his head and just being a weird fun. And he had the thing where you could just do anything you wanted. Yes. And he claimed somebody raped him I think. Yeah. He claimed somebody like he did an art piece where you could just walk in and do whatever you want to shy and he said like I think a lady sucked his dick or something which you know. You could say no. I got deep where you try to. Yeah. Art is that you're you love art that much that you're like anyway whatever. But he I think't think no. I have deep where you try to. Yeah, art is that. You love art that much that you're like,

anyway, whatever. But I think DeVito might have gone to that and he would just go and like look at Shilobov. Yeah. He was just doing whatever you know. Well, so then I'm there during the day and I'm hanging out and it's like, I knew that it was a 24 hour live stream.

They had like a CCTV camera on the wall and it was a live stream. But in my dumb little baby brain, I'm like, yeah, people have to be watching it at the moment. And that's it, and then it's gone. I forget that anything the ton line stays forever. Oh wow. So I'm just dumb. She was there, we could find her.

Oh yeah, let's not do it, but. You know, it's. Next time you come back, we could find her. Oh yeah, let's not do it, but you know. You know, it's- Next time you come back, we'll have that ready to go. What happened? It's ready to go. It's so painful. And I'll still get out of it like-

Was it like chanting? What was it? Yes! Yes, it was like fucking a hurry Krishna for a little above. Like, it might just have given me a row, but I would have liked anything. Anything. Like, I was like, surely after, like, a year after this,

like, it'll die down and I still get messages being like, he will not divide us. I'm like, God! That's right, it was he will not divide us. So bad. Well, sorry, you're probably gonna get a handful of those after this episode. That's fine. That's fine.

You know what the worst part is? Yeah. If I saw online that Shyla Buff was back there today, I'd be like, I'll go. You're in the neighborhood. I would go. I would go, I would learn nothing from the last time. Just fully like red-pilled. Like, you will not fucking divide us

Trump bad shy pilled what's that eldest look up shot just see what the news you can put up with the newest Word on shy love of what's he up to these days? I think he's sober. He's doing interviews with John What's that guy's name that bro dude dude, John Love and Thal or something, John? Oh, John. Burnthal. Burnthal. Who is that guy? He's incredible. He's an actor. He was the punisher.

He was in, I think his first thing was the walking dead. He was in that. He played a great, he was really good in Wolf of Wall Street where he played that guy, like a sold pills and lifted weights and went to jail for them. Oh, yeah. That was my entrant to him. And then he was just in the, the, the, David Simon did,

like a mini series about the Baltimore police. That's kind of like almost feels like a wire, like, Coda or whatever. What the fuck was that called, though, this? We on this city. We on this city. We own this city. Really good. He nails the Baltimore accent, I must say, better than any.

What's the Baltimore accent? You know, like the like, oh my god, like that discussion. Is it similar to Philly? It is very similar. Okay. They have their own little nuances, but yeah, it's that weird, you know,

East Coast white trash kind of has it. Honestly, Pittsburgh through both, there's like the cousins of it all the way up to like Jersey honestly, but yeah, Shia. And I guess he's, so the, is he in that movie Megalopolis, the Coppola movie? Isn't John Voight like, wasn't he a big Trump guy? the uh... copula movie isn't john void like uh...

wasn't here big trump guy yeah he's i did all this for shia's anti-Trump and now is president john void well this is so i guess shia might be in a huge movie because uh... francis for copula is making he's making like his first movie god knows how long long Megalopolis that has a lot of butt. It could be a huge, you know, as a shy might be back. Shies back.

Shies back. Would you, you think so easily you would have, oh my God is that what he looks like in the movie. He looks like fucking Johnny Depp. It looks like current day Johnny Depp. Anyway, whatever. Uh, yeah. I'm excited for Megalpwell's, but anyway. So you 100% would have joined the shy love of Colt and... I mean, that was a Colt, I literally wanted.

But if he was like, come back to the compound. No, I think I'd be smart. But maybe I would go, but like in the past. Were you so broke already? I was so broke. I had nothing to do. I was in New York and, yeah, and like at first it was really cool because like shy is just fucking there.

But then it's like, but then it first was really cool because like shy is just fucking there But then it's like but then it's like well now I got to kind of like really get into it. Yeah Yeah, I was just full. Yeah, I was chint and then he's getting arrested and I'm up at the camera I'm like he will not Wow former child stars really had a hook in your life. Whether they're, whether they're everybody going to ignoring you in a Mexican restaurant. But it like, it truly all goes back to like the high school

thing of being like, I just want them to love me. You like that? Yeah. I like, I'll do anything. I just need shy to love me. Oh. Oh, he made it apparently three weeks ago. He made a rare public appearance to join the whole

I should have been there for 20 years. Where was it? Shia is me. Shia, do you remember? Okay, big elves. Why don't we do a couple? Well, that's very, you know, next time we'll have the video pulled up.

But why don't we, you know, let's ask some questions from a couple. Yeah, if you want my advice, I make really good decisions. I've never been embarrassed. Very cool and chill. But that's it, we needed, like, you know, you can't just get advice just from experts.

You need a couple, you need the perspective of a dumb bitch every once in a while. Oh, wait, but you know, wait, I forgot to mention this. Please. So after the shy thing, he gets arrested, I'm there, I'm right in the front, I'm putting my hand up, I forgot to mention this. Please. So after the shy of thing, he gets arrested. I'm there. I'm right in the front.

I'm putting my hand up. I drew a heart on my hand. Like, you know that video. You know that? You know that? Get my heart for shy of it. Yeah, and you know that like a famous image of the girl with the flower in the gun. And I thought I was doing that.

You're thinking of images like that. Yeah, I'm like, this is gonna be huge. I'm just going down in history. I'm shy as army on the leader. And so it was obviously in the news, like Shyla Buff arrested. And so I'm a part of this video now. Right. And I'm on the train in this old couple, very old, the guy's looking at his phone and he keeps looking at me and then he turns his wife and he's showing her and he's pointing at me and the wife just looks up and goes shy love and I was like fuck and so then I did shave my head shortly after. What?

The fresh clean star. Fresh clean star. Yeah. Wow. And he just said shy love. Fresh clean star. Yeah. Wow. And he just said, shy love off. They had no, was there a vibe? They just didn't fuck you. Just very old.

They might have been tourists. Okay. So they were just looking at the news and they saw me and they were like, shy love off. Wow. Good for you. So nice. Damn.

So yeah, if you need that person's perspective. Yeah. Yeah, you know, can I stop you right there, Alain? I know we talked about it briefly at the beginning of the episode, but the NBA season is back and I'm so pumped and I just wanna talk about it. The weight is over folks, basketball is back,

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Licency Partner Golden Nugget Lake Charles Louisiana 21 plus, age varies by jurisdiction, void and Ontario bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance she sportsbook.draftking.com slides basketball terms for legibility and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gambling resources Gaming resources get ready to get it folks because it's happening. Oh, this why the fuck don't you start us off with a nice question here? happening. Why the fuck do you start us over the nice question here? Hi, self. I am a big fan of your podcast. I'm coming to see you in Cleveland and October. I'm very excited for that. I have a question. I'm a 23 year old. I just got out of a long term relationship.. He broke up with me a couple weeks ago. I am single now for the first time in four years.

We already have it for four years. And then before him, I was in another long-term relationship for four years. So just kind of back to back. This is the first time I've been like, sing. You're 23. You're in a relationship when you were 19. Okay, that's fine. And then you said from 15 to 19 is your other one, that one doesn't count.

Let's just put, let's just start there. 15, that relationship, but whatever. Anyway. It counts. It counts if you're 23 and like, you've been in relationships for a whole life. That's a good point. But I also think like 15 in a relationship, I feel like is very indicative of your future relationship. That's a good point, especially as a girl,

because it's like at that age, I feel like it's like, you can, if you're the type of girl that really wants to be a relationship, I feel like that's out there for you. You can decide to be in a, for you. Like you're basically, once you give a 15 year old boy pussy, unless he's like some kind of, you know, like the 10% of like sociopaths, it's just like our pussy getters from who knows what fucked up thing happened in their childhood that made

them like, womanizers at the age of 14. If you give a 15 year old boy a crumb of pussy, he will pledge his soul to you for the next 10 years. So yeah, that's true. It's indicative of the kind of person she is. And also, when you're 15 and you're in a relationship, you're so emotionally like underdeveloped that that relationship, like you're growing in that. It's like you're like a hermit crab in a much too small shell. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's like what you know about relationships going forward. Right, right, true.

Oh man, there's like a, like a just a family friend. Like it's funny to have like, you know, your family and people you grew up with, extended family. Like you see their kids. Cause like now people my age are starting to have kids, but it's like you're, the equivalent of like an older cousin or like a, you know, they had kids way before. And so now they have like teenagers or some of them have like, I went to a wedding and I saw babies.

People I remember that's babies that she's a fucking teacher now. That fucked me up. I was like, damn, and look at wrong. I was like, 10 or whatever, but still, I have a clear memory of this person as an infant, and she's a teacher, not even going to college, a fucking teacher. Anyway, so there's some kids there,

and like, there's like one kid who she's in like, she's like 13, 14, and it's so funny how things change, where it's like, now she's making TikToks about how her current boy, like she can't wait to get married to her boyfriend. And it's like that cute little shit of like your 14, you really think you're gonna fucking end up with this person. And it's like, so that's fair. It's like, that's is indicative of who she is

and like kinda how she's programmed. So, okay, that's is indicative of who she is and how she's programmed. So, okay, point rescinded. Go ahead, Eld. Her relationship for four years. So, just kind of back to back. This is the first time I've been single, I guess, in a long time with no prospect of doing another long term relationship, which is good. But my question is, is that I've been trying to go out,

trying to get out of my shell a little bit, very bookish, kind of a nerd, but I'm hoping to get out there, put myself out there, pour it up a little bit. My advice, I have a question is that I feel a lot of guilt when I'm out there when I'm talking to guys when I'm getting hit on or hitting on people and having a good time I feel a lot of guilt about my previous relationship and I still kind of feel like I'm cheating on him but he broke up with me and you know it was tough but I just still feel like this weird allegiance to him and every time I think about like going home with a guy or doing something with another guy I just kind of still feel that like prickly you know prickly feeling and I'm

really hoping to get over that so put any advice for me just as a single 23 year old just let me know big fan of the show. Thank you so much. Bye. She sounds so sweet. I know, I know. She sounds nice. Like I'm almost like damn, I want you just get married

and have a nice family. Yeah, I don't want you out in these streets. You sound too nice. You just are the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, so I mean, you're a 23 year old who's just, he's just got an under-relation. And look, you obviously Okay, so I mean, you're 23 year olds who's just got out of relation. And look, you obviously shouldn't feel that guilt,

but that is human, right? Like when you're out of relation when you care about someone, people just respond different ways. Not everyone is gonna go out and wanna fuck right after, right? There's that thing of like the rebound where you have all these fucked up feelings where you're just not really dealing with anything

so you just go out and you fuck and then I've experienced this but I'll just go fuck immediately and then I'll be like, what am I done? Then I'm like sad and I don't wanna fuck for like two months. I don't wanna fuck anybody else. So part of that is your young and four years when you're 23 is crazy. Like that is half of your, I mean,

yeah, you've been in two four-year relationships. That's essentially all of your possible dating time. You have spent 50% of it. It's 50% of your dating life is with this person. And also through like college and the beginning of being a regular adult. Those are very important moments. You probably shared, there's a lot in that last relationship that you still probably

trying to get over. So it's like, I think a little bit of that guilt is fine. Like a little bit of that, like this doesn't quite feel right. And it's not going to feel super right for a while. So that's just, I think that's a little natural. But you do just kind of have to get over that. And you do just kind of have to like, you know, either let it fade, I think naturally,

or just like, look, sometimes you're not super ready forever. Like, you know, it's just like, if you find somebody that you think is nice, you're having a good time, doesn't have to be anything serious, you just wanna go let loose, get your titties sucked on. You might feel a little bit of that, but it's like, that goes away after every time, I think.

It just goes away naturally, I think. I don't know, when you were a 23 year old, did you ever have this issue? No, I mean, I'm like the complete opposite, where I avoid relationships at all costs. But I think like, if you're ever at a problem, just having a good time. Yeah, too good, too much fun.

Yeah, too much fun. Yeah, good. We covered your Crat, your DUI car crash. Yeah. In a previous episode, we know you were a good time at 20, I guess. That's the other fucked up thing. It's funny and reminisce about that, about showing you when you were 17.

You're literally a little last kid. Yeah. Yeah. But I think because this is so different than me, it's easier for me to give advice about this. Sure. I feel like, because it's so far removed. But I feel like you've gotten such a flow, and especially when you're young

and in a long-term relationship, it is still very much like, I was saying about the high school thing, it really is part of your personality, is like being in a relationship, specifically with that person. And so, I think it's just a matter of time to like get over that. My only worry with her is that if she's having fun

and hooking up, like her natural instinct is to like settle down with someone. So you have to be aware of that. And when you start getting the feelings, like maybe that it is someone that you will settle down with, but try and like keep just the fun casual part going for as long as possible. I do think you probably this person that you, the person we're talking to, should institute

a loose rule of no relationship for a year or something like that. Something to lose. And look, obviously, if you meet someone you think this is it that's that's you know I'm not telling you if you feel like you've met the love of your life to be like sorry a podcast told me I have to suck six more guys off Yeah before we're together But institute like make it to make it to like tiebreaker If you're not sure about someone be like I'm gonna stay single for now, right? And I think, and it seems like she wants to do that,

but I think you're very right where it's like, because I'm similar to you where it's like, my default is don't get in a relationship, and I kind of have to fight, even when I like someone, when it gets to a serious point, I have to kind of like override my own neuroses and be like, shut up, you like this person, give it a shot, you're being a dumb piece of shit.

And our friend here has to kind of do the opposite. It's like, they are really nice, you are having a good time, but I should you really be with them exclusively. Yeah. So I think you have to be cognizant of kind of your programming. The guilt thing I think is natural, you do gotta get over that. I mean, you just, it's the same thing though. It's actually good practice for overriding what we just talked about. Cause it's like, you're gonna have to just like, at a certain point you can't let those feelings win.

I'm not telling you, you seem like you're already in the position where you wanna go and have fun. So you're over the breakup at least it seems enough to put yourself out there a little more. So there's really no advice other than you sometimes we have to override our kind of emotional reflexes with what we know is right. And you have to do that here with the guilt thing and just be like, you know, and the more, it's just like anytime you make any switch, it's a little fucking weird at first.

It's gonna be a little fucking weird. Well, and I think it's using two back-to-back long-term relationships. I'm sure she brought some of that first relationship into that second one. And so it's like you want to be able to like have all these experiences, get to know yourself better that way the next time you do get in a relationship,

it's like a whole fresh start instead of bringing like Brandon and Jason into the relationship with you. And that's a good point. It's not just about dating, it's also about you in yourself, right? So she's like, she's saying she's kind of bookish, kind of a nerd wants to put herself out there more. It's like, is there other stuff you can do to make it's cliche, but it's like the dating yourself thing for you? Where it's like, do you want to fuck it?

You know, are there hobbies you want to take up? Is there stuff in your life you can fill it with where fill in that part that you are so used to having a dude there fill that up with like shit you want to do for yourself You know itself improvement. I always say like like Any kind of any kind of like goal is good because watching Progress happen makes you feel good. Yeah. Like I always equated to lifting weights or like when I'm focusing on losing weights.

It's just like, even though it's, you know, even though I think, you don't have to be like, I don't subscribe to traditional beauty standards. It still feels good to lose just to see the, just to see a number go up or down in the right direction. Like is there something you want to get into? Your book, you know, you said your bookish your nerdy's or some non nerdy shit you want to do?

Is there like, you know, some kind of like fucking, I don't even know what it would be. I'm such a simpleton for me. It's just literally, I just want to get fucking jacked whenever I have time off. But is there like some kind of, like, I don't know. I feel like nerd girls take like a hip hop dancing class. Yeah, yeah.

Like a pole dancing class. Yeah, for less. Or like yeah, for less, or some shit like that, or like, you know, I don't know, whatever the fuck it is to make you less nerdy and more of a, more of, you know, to get in touch with your not nerd shit. I'm not gonna tell you to go, you know, don't go to grad school. But like, go do some shit shit like do some fun other shit

Something that would like make you a little bit uncomfortable Like I'm comfortable. Yeah, and maybe enhance the fun part of your life Yeah, maybe it's even like fucking taking bartending class or some weird shit I don't know what it is, but like yes some shit like that Whatever you want to do fill in that gap with self improvement or self whatever self stuff That the relationship is. And then give yourself just override the cheating. First of all, your homework from us is to just go fuck somebody.

Like that's number one. You gotta get one out of the way. It's gonna feel weird. It's probably, here's the other thing that sucks is a woman. It's like, it's probably not gonna be good. What fifth? What would you say the percentages are of guys you fucked where it was like, it's probably not gonna be good. What, what would you say the percentages are of guys you fucked, where it was like,

just the sex was a good experience. Would you put the numbers at the fit? Five percent. Five percent. Five percent. Five percent. Five percent. Five percent.

Five percent. Five percent. Five percent. Five percent. Five percent. Five percent. Five percent. Five percent.

Five percent. Five percent. Five ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Five. So you're looking at a nice, and look, Alex way more fucked up than you. Yeah, yeah. You're probably gonna get to numbers that are up to even 30, 35%. But yeah, it's just, just go out and have,

and have, you know, kind of give yourself these little, these little like rules where it's like, try not to get, in snare in a relationship. And truly, there's no good advice other than override that guilt thing. It's the same thing where it's like, anytime you're scared to do something new, it's that feeling of like, yeah, exactly.

It's like that guilt is kind of like that feeling right before you're about to like go bungee jumping or something, you know what I mean? Where it's like, ah, I shouldn't do this, but it's like just fucking do it. It's fine. And then once you're over it, you're about to like go bungee jumping or something. You know what I mean? We're like, I shouldn't do this, but it's like just fucking do it. It's fine. And then once you're over it, you're over it. And you know, you'll be fucking in no time.

You know, you'll be, you'll be fucking in no time flat. But you know, good for you. We believe in you. You sound very nice. And we're all rooting for you. Now I get why she's in these long-term relationships if I'm at her I'd be like I'll be with you for four years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're

really nice. Let's entwine our lives. Hey, Stavie. So basically, near my wife, we've got married really young, about 20 years old. I was a little bit worried about her. I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her.

I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her. I was a little worried about her. you were broken up because you were separated. She said she forgave me and she wanted to move on and move past this. She said she wasn't going to cheer on me back. She said that that wasn't the type of person she would. I wonder where this is going. You know, she wanted to move on with the relationship. Well, recently, you know, I've been catching her, not flirting with other people, or not sleeping with other people are not sleeping with other people but flirting with other people uh... he's going out for bars a lot she's sleeping out of her friend a lot you know what?

and i just and not very comfortable with it because even though yes i was the one who somebody else i'm completely well now we're back together and she seems to be the one that is not loyal anymore. So my question for you would be, do you think this relationship is irreparably damaged? Do you think that there is any way of us to make things better or should i just move on i know i'm still so young i love this girl she's my high school sweetheart

i don't want things and but at the same time i can't keep going on you know i'm feeling cheated on so yeah what do you think stop there appreciate it damn this is a hilarious question by the way you know he's worked this he's like thought this over over this is dry run for having this conversation with his wife. Though I know I am the one who did engage

in infidelity prior to your current behavior is making me very uncomfortable. And I am questioning our marital vows. Even just that last line, I mean, I know I'm still so young. It's like he wants, yeah. I mean, first of all, it doesn't have to be over, but you can tell. It seems like both of you don't really. Exactly. And here's the thing, if we take the word married out of this,

if this is not wife or husband, our advice immediately is this is over. But because they're married, it kind of puts that psychologically, it feels a little more serious than it is, even though they're just too dumb as kids that got married way too fucking down. So if we take marriage out of the equation, you have, you were in a,

and well, it's kind of hard to because the fact that you slept with somebody when you were married, even though you're separated That's a big and only a month Yeah, not even a month. I know I know because here's what's going on you fucked up in a big way Yeah, doing that. Well, even though it was like ethically These though that's the thing they weren't devoid, like, they were, but it's like they're on their own,

but you could rationalize, like, sure, that, you know, but. There's also those breaks are always like this, this like, it's almost like both, both people are kind of betting on their, on their relationship where it's like, if we get through this break and no one fucks anyone, yeah, that feels good. Yeah. But then you know, but then it's like, well we get through this break and no one fucks anyone, that feels good. But then you know, and then it's like,

well, if we both fuck someone, it feels bad, but we can continue. The worst possible thing happened here where one person fucks someone and one didn't, and that's almost, that just in general is kind of hard to come back from. But I also think we're dealing with signs of immatureity on both parts here. I mean, you just doing it is kind of hard to come back from. But I also think we're dealing with signs of immaturity

on both parts here. I mean, you just doing it is so immature and shows that like you weren't, you definitely weren't ready to get married. Because if you are one month into your marriage or whatever the fuck it was, you can't make it four weeks without, you're not so sad. Like what we were just talking about with the last caller,

where it's like after a breakup, sometimes you're so distraught, even when you can legally fuck somebody, it's like you feel too bad to do it. The fact that you weren't feeling that way when your marriage was on the brink, like at the very beginning, that you were thinking about getting pussy instead of repairing your marriage that just started

big fucking problem red flag on your part. But yes, let's say that yes, you can rationalize this. And even if you can't rationalize it and you did just cheat, but she did forgive you and you guys are building because that's the thing that everyone always says about cheating is like, if you guys are gonna, if you're gonna get back together after somebody cheats, you can't, you have to let that go. You can't let that be kind of hanging over somebody's head forever because that's, you can't have a relationship that way.

So you're immature in immediately cheating. The second there was any problem in your relationship. And I think we're seeing a little maturity on her part where she's like, all right, I just want to get together. I find I want to get over it, but she didn't mean that. Cause it's easy to say I forgive you. It is very hard to actually in your bones forgive someone.

And like that's happening in the past with past relationships where it's like, well, we started Rocky. And it was just like, even though we built like kind of a good relationship on top of that, that Rocky-ass foundation, that can just go at any moment and it's not really anyone's fault. You're just kind of always, always at the mercy

of that thing not going. And sometimes it doesn't go, sometimes you know, sometimes you can live a whole life on a rickety-ass foundation Yeah, but sometimes the fucking a slight breeze blows and that fucking whole thing is toppling over and by the way You guys have a one one story shitty shack on top of that little foundation You don't have a good life built together on top of it. It feels It feels like you're not really in it. It feels

like she said something and her actions are proving something different. Doesn't feel like either one of you is that invested. And again, you're, you know, your youngest fuck, if you weren't married, we would tell you 100% this relationship is over. So it's probably over. You know it. You're just kind of... I mean, look, if you do want to work on things, you could have a conversation with the opposite way is if you want to like take this opportunity and mature because that's the thing.

Yes, you're a dumbass, 20, whatever you're old, but the way people grow up is when things are hard, you actually rise to the occasion. If you wanted to rise to the occasion, what you do is have a real conversation with her and say, look, it basically says what you said to me, where it's like, I really, I know I really fucked up. I'll regret it forever. But if we are going to, if we're going to like move forward, you can't, like you either have to forgive me

and not behave this way, or like we have to come to some kind of agreement because I feel insecure in the relationship, and if I hurt you too bad, where this is not gonna happen, I understand, and I'll be sad about it forever, but it's not. I don't think you will. But he won't, he won't, yeah, then none of this will happen. I'm just telling you, if you want to, if you want to, you know, put on your best, I don't

even know, you know, if you want to go put on your best, like, plaid button-down shirt, you bought from Marshalls in a box. You want to put that on and really sit it down and then have a really fancy dinner at Carabas, which is probably where you want for your anniversary. But I don't think he has it in him. But I'm just saying, that's what you could do. And then you go to counseling and really work on the relationship. But, you know, but yeah, I think to have been married at 20 and having problems.

Two months in. A few months in a few months and It's like and could she in the face of those problems. Yeah Yeah, and also it's like it was one of your co I'm just like re looking at this one of your co-workers like See And also it's like, if you guys were willing to put that past, it's like, yeah, she has to, like if she says that, she has to man it and like try and like actively not keep it hanging over his head.

But also it's like, I would imagine you need to kind of now, you have more work to do because now you have to step it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you wanted to work and like make her feel really secure. Right, and we're not sensing your, you don't have to step it up energy. And it's called. You know, like you're 20, so like,

yeah, he's stupid. Yeah, just take a, take an actual break. If you guys want to get back together at some point, like you need time to become adults a little bit. That's a good point. Because all of this just feels like, not like anyone's fault necessarily, but just like a victim of your age in circumstances.

Where it's like, you guys just kind of both made a bad decision that you weren't ready for. Yes, yes, yes. That's 100% what it feels like. So, you know, you're probably, this is probably, I mean, he's probably right now cheating on her again. Like, he's probably, he's probably fingering that same coworker. He's gonna be like, Ali is right, we should take a break and find out who we are

and just fuck his coworker the next day. We can get back together at some point. I just got some more work to do. That's so true. I'm gonna sell some of my coworker. I'm gonna sell him another break. He's just fuckingded coworker. I was like, and he's on another break. Yeah. He's just fucking another coworker.

I also, whenever they say, like, I slept with my coworker, if he's 20 years old, I'm like, where do you work to pull it? Yeah. It's such a high turnaround rate. It's so right, yeah. Yeah, this isn't like, you're, this is not a professional environment. Nobody, nobody, uh, nobody had to like, uh, you know, worry about their suit being wrinkled after they had sex. I'll add lunch.

Yeah, they're not like watching a hotel room. They're like in their car in a parking lot. Yeah, he's getting sucked off in a sion. And then he got mad because he nutted on his apron. He's like, fuck. How am I going to make Chipotle burrito bowls now? There's gizz on my apron. Alright, just, oh, oh, you've done this before, I just need to put a little sour cream over

the gizz. And no one's the wiser. Huh, well, I don't know, I don't like that you had that answer at the ready, but that is practical advice. Haha. Haha. Haha. Haha.

Alright. Yeah, you're fucked, pal. It wasn't meant to be. But also your 20, you're gonna be fine. You'll be fine. It's so funny to be like on a day at 26 years old and be like, yeah, you know, I've been divorced, you know what? 26 at 22. Yeah. He's gonna be fucking 22, timeout his ex-wife.

I think that's sick. Yeah. I know, it's getting a point where it's weirder than I thought. Yeah, I know. It's getting a point where it's weirder than I thought. He's gonna be fucking 22, but his ex-wife. I think that's sick. Yeah. I know, it's getting a point where it's weirder that I don't have an ex-wife. Yeah. You know what?

Just like in a few years, you just be going on dates and being like, no, I've just been single this whole time. I don't have kids, they're like, really? Like it's starting to get the point where it's like, everyone I date should have kids. You know what I get? It's starting to get the birds like everyone I date should have kids Hey, stab with one on man love the show love listen to you guys all time So I just come straight to it man. So I run a YouTube channel a small YouTube channel kind of do it on the side Just like side hustle. Don't make very money very much money doing it

But you know it's a fun thing to do I've just met some other youtubers that are still out with a good chunk of months ago at this point one of them who was really nice to me is cool dude you know we collaborated a couple of times uh... sent me a dick pic and i instantly like deleted it from the feet that was on uh... message your face with messenger and i was just like oh yeah there's no way

you meant to tell me right like know, I was playing it off. And the dude was definitely suspect about it. First, he was like, oh, yeah, no, it wasn't for me, but it was for somebody else, but then he was kind of like a winky face and stuff. And it was so obvious that it was meant to be sent to me. But I just chose to kind of brush it under the road. All of my other YouTube peers who also know this guy said I should have laid in to them for sending me a dick pics But I just chose to kind of just like brush it off and Be nice about it I guess and figured that maybe the best way just kind of ignoring it happened

We're still like Facebook friends and stuff like that but every year in there when he talks me I always just expecting the next day So yeah, how would you have handled this? What the fuck man as well as this is a question for woman in comedy and this is like you've got the expertise on this one and i think what he did was right to stign or it keep pushing

and and then work with them in the future. Wait until they get cancer by someone else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause it will happen. Don't be on the leading edge of the cancellation. Yeah.

But be it the second way. Yeah, no one likes the initial cancer. No one likes the first one. The initial cancer, that's the true hero. It's not just that, but he didn't actually send you the dick pic. You're making this up for your YouTube class. But he's so much bigger than you. You're just trying to latch onto his name.

Yeah. I wish I wish he specified what kind of videos he made because I wish it's like those vaping videos where they blow the nose. Yeah, I smoked trick YouTuber. Yeah, I did some clabs with a guy who does like the craziest show rings. Yeah. I've seen Cloud Chalker 82's penis.

Yeah, I mean, look, bro, I don't know what they're telling you here. This guy, this guy internet assaulted you. Like, it wasn't. Like, I love, by the way, my favorite move that the dick pick sender is doing is like, the guy clearly being like, giving you the out for being a predator, he's giving you a mulligan, and you're still like flirting.

You're still like, he clearly is, this guy is giving you, he's serving you an out on a golden platter, and you're so horny, you're still sending him winky faces, you fucking lunatic What did he send the dick pic on Instagram on Facebook? I think it was on Facebook Messenger Okay, cuz I don't know if it does Facebook because I know on Instagram if you screenshot a photo someone sends

It shows up like it shows that they screen-shot it interesting so that all that would have made him nervous Yeah, because now you just got a photo of it. Well So that would have made him nervous. Yeah. Because now you just got a photo of his. Well, but he said he deleted it. Yeah. So he doesn't have the, oh yes, yes. If you screen-shot the like, the, there's, you can send a photo in the message. Yeah.

But if you don't send it in the body, yes, yes, yes. I see where you're saying, no, no. This guy just wanted to brush over it. This guy's a gentleman. Yeah. He's like, he's just like, and by the way, your friends were like, you should have really laid in Dumas.

Like, you could lay in Dumas right now. He just told you he sent him a dick big. It's like, just fucking relax. Everybody deals with that shit their own way. You can't tell the guy with the fuck to, you know, with the fuck to do. Obviously, you were too, you were uncomfortable, whatever. Now, would I be friends with this guy still?

I don't know that I would be. I think somebody, you know, minorly commits a very minor sex crime to you and it's like maybe stop hanging out with him. That would be my, that'd be what I did. I mean, you've chosen to ignore and not make a thing a bit fine. That's your choice. If you want to do that, make a thing of it. Fine, that's your choice. If you want to do that, I think you probably don't need this guy in your life.

That would be kind of my, that's my, you know, it's your side hustle. That would be what I would say to do. I wouldn't continue to be friends with the guy sending you unsolicited and unwanted dick pics. That's me personally. Yeah, because then like, what else has he sent into people? You don't want to be like, chummy, chummy.

Yeah, you just decided you don't want to be associated with this guy. Yeah, I think his mode of action was like the right mode of action. Because it's like, I feel like a dick pic is safe enough to where it's gross to get it. It feels weird, but you're not like, it's not like fully violating. Yeah, it's not as if more of like a read on that guy's character.

Right, right, right. It's not, it would be a lot different if it was as dick in person. Yeah. If you ever have to breathe the same air as his penis, that's a much bigger violation than like, yeah, I agree. It's like, it's right at the level of it's like a silly assault What a goof yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I think and it seems like he only sent it once he only said it once even though he was He's still kind of was putting the vibe out putting the vibe out which again

hilarious on some level delusional respect It's like it's so delusional you almost have to respect the way it's like, you think, and it's like, what is he trying to do? I mean, maybe they're both gay guys, I don't know. But it's like, it'd be really funny for the guy, if the guy calling it straight, and the guy's just sending, that's a high difficulty move.

Well, that happened to my boyfriend. Wow. Or this guy that we know, we're like family. Eldish. How would I tell you about that? I thought it was weird when you asked Ali for her boyfriend's number, but I never thought this is what you'd do with it. Weirdo.

Thank you for coming on. You're also nice pin. Well, never mind, it couldn't have been Eldish. I hope that should take away. It's a nice penis. Well, never mind, it couldn't have been L this. He said, I have that, you're take away. But there's like a guy that we know who like was sending my boyfriend. I think a couple times, dick pics. And the guy who's sending the photos is gay,

my boyfriend is at least to my best knowledge. Pretty not. He has some gay moments, but overall, pretty straight. Yeah. And it's like, just stop. But it's also funny, because it's like, it's over the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like I could block his number.

I know, it is. I've never understood that level of horningist. Yeah. It's like you're sending a date. Like I just don't get that. It's like what, it's like even in a perfect world where someone sees your dick pick and they're like, that's awesome.

That's so fucking sick. Your dick is hard ostensibly. You're sending a hard dick. Your penis is closer to coming than it is not coming. So someone would have to receive the dick pick and get in their car immediately and speed over to you. Unless this person's like your downstairs neighbor, what are you getting out of sending a dick pick?

Are they gonna, they're not gonna get there in time for that, for that erection to bust. Well, I think with this person, it's not even about like the action of like hooking up. From that, I think it's just the rush of someone saying and like having an opinion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like what they're thinking.

That is true, because I see the big thing that like only fans girls will do is dick ratings. Yeah, but you know that a lot of those like popular only fans girls, it's just some guy like L this. Like, it's funny. That's awesome. Wait, did I tell you guys, I've talked about this somewhere before. No, I don't remember where, but I subscribe to this guy's only friends. Oh hell yeah I was talking about it with Annie Letterman. Okay, and And he I didn't mention this part because I'm like even nervous to say it

But he was offering like if you send him a photo of yourself He'll rate it and I've never felt like more of a sub in my life. I was like, what do you think about my body? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you send them body no face or face too? I don't, I'm kind of like a prude in that way, so probably no face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then it was also like the circumstance, I was like, it was like the peak of COVID. I was living in my mom's house. That's one of the more years time. So I'm just like a bedroom in my mom's place. Like I hope she's a wake up. Yeah, and were we talking, Nudes, full titties, what are we talking about?

Probably not. I mean, it was, no, I might have been some titties, but nothing else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the right middle ground. Yeah. This titties no post to a stranger. Yeah.

And what did he say back? I know, I'm trying to think of what he, what if he was like seven, he's like, wait, two on this. I'm like, I'm subscribing to him. He's like seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, you know, Dicray is very interesting because it's like, look, a guy just wants you

to look at his penis and have him with him. Which by the way, I don't understand. Like in a perfect world, I guess I guess like yeah I guess I would well my think that it ain't you can't see it over the internet it's a it's an in-person experience you know what I mean like it's not gonna translate you know it's like it's like when a band C.D.suck but you see them live you're like I was pretty fun I was nice and come back yeah it's not my favorite band but it's pretty good but I was nice, and come back, yeah. It's not my favorite band, but it's pretty good. But I also just don't understand,

I guess I'm just too, I just, I would just need to, I just don't understand paying money for someone to be like, your Dixir, right? Or whatever, you know what I mean? Like that's crazy to me, but at least if you're doing that to guys, it's like, the guy's gonna come one way or the other.

He's just, the guy paying you for that just wants to think in his head that you looked at his dick and had, for a moment, processed as a hot girl thought about his dick. That's enough. But you're playing a risky game asking women to send you there, and you having to be like, that could go really weird.

Guys, it's maybe a 98% success rate. I'm sure it's difficult to really pull that off with, you know, although I guess someone might wanna be, I don't know, I guess it would just be. I think if you're a guy with an only fence and you're offering a service of getting a photo of them and rating it, you gotta say 10 out of 10 every single time.

But that's the thing is like, you know that's not true. I wonder if I still have it. Please, that would be great if you could still find it. That's the thing though, don't you think you want, I think what you'd want is a lie, but a believable lie. Yeah. You don't want 10 out of 10. No. You know why, you know it't want 10 out of 10. No.

You know why? You know it's not 10 out of 10. If you said seven, I'd be her, but I'd be like, he really looks. But if you said 8.5, that'd be nice. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You have to lie just enough.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You're threatening a needle rating women's bodies. Yeah. Yeah. Rating a man's body. You could even say that's a little pathetic dick.

Half of them, that would do it for them anyway. Totally. You know what I mean? Like, and sure there's some women who really like to be degraded, but I don't think that's, it doesn't seem like that's what this guy was going for. That honestly would have been so funny if this guy who got the dick pick just rated it.

That would be funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess they're all each other. He's just like, I don't know, I guess like a 6.5. Yeah. Or just like thumbs down. Yeah. That's even funnier to be like, that sucks.

Anyway, once next time we're collabing, that's actually, that would have been your power move. It's just let the dick pick live and be like, what the fuck do you, that's weird. Anyway, we do, we do, we do and make up tutorials or what. So yeah, but anyway, we think you've handled it the right way and. I think if he keeps, if he, if at some point he like sends a photo again, just be like, hey, stop it's weird. Yeah. But also would love to collab again.

But also, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Most of what number kind of numbers you're doing. No, I just think personally, I think I wouldn't deal with this guy anymore if I were you, but you know, that's up to you, I guess. But you did nothing wrong. Just ignore getting going about your business. You're brave. You're important. We see you. We do. You're not alone. You're not alone. He will not. He will not. He will not divide us. I was almost saying he will not replace us. It's a white supremacist anti-dial Trump. Well, that's what happened. It started becoming like a like a lot of like a proud boy started infiltrating

Interesting Let's do another one, Eld Oh Yes, maybe I don't know And eldest y'all Banyan day labor I don't know. And eldest, you all, Banyan Day Labor. He's cute, buddy. He's salaried, pal.

Thank you very much. It's not going to be about facts like a majority of your audience. It's just in your audience. I'm a little bit different than your audience. I got a little bit of a fact. I got 16 struggles with it back and forth. Now I have some time together. And I've made's and sat down and had conversations and stuff like that, especially with family members and repaired a lot of those relationships, at least to the best of my ability.

But my question is, is how do I deepen a relationship with my younger brother and younger sister? Like, growing up in my family, we're like just typical white. I think we're probably Irish, who knows. But we just don't really express emotions or feeling besides like anger. So, I think you're getting a remote up your ass. It just doesn't feel like there's a lot of depth to the relationship that I have with my siblings. And over the years and now as I'm getting older, that kind of bothers me,

but I have no idea how to go about like growing that relationship. But yeah, I mean, if you have any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it. Well, the pod later. That's cute. Yeah, I mean, this, so basically, there's a couple questions. You said you got sober, and he was trying to repair the relationship. And so I guess you were just drunk as fuck

while they were little kids, or what's, like, what's the schism there? I'm assuming that he, because he was drinking or doing whatever, and it got to a place where he had to get sober. Yeah, he probably was like, especially as like the older sibling. Yeah, yeah, yeah was like, especially as like the older sibling. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of pressure on the older sibling until if you're on there. Right. He probably just is kind of like starting at zero and also their memories of him or just like kind of shitty. It's so fucked up, yeah. And it's, no, I know what you're saying. It's similar to being a deadbeat parent

in some way if you're a much older brother like sibling, that's a dead, that's like a piece of shit because it's like kids just naturally want to look up to their older, naturally. So to fuck that up, it is like something that takes a little work. But the good news is you found out about this, you did it, you got sober. And the good news is you're not a parent, right?

Like ultimately, it's not the same level of damage when you're just older sibling is no round. And I think it's kind of, I do think this is actually, the good uses, I don't think this is that difficult. I think basically you just have to be in your sibling's life. I mean, that's it. That's like, you know, they're younger than you. You're probably, you know, they're, you're at least now hopefully doing a little better. It doesn't have to be super emotional. It can be as simple as like going to the movies with them

once a month. They're just like having a day once a month where it's like, let's hang out or, you know, even more, call them, you know, check in on them. I know that I, me and my brothers don't have the age gap that he, this guy does, but there was definitely a moment, probably, I don't know, right around when I moved to New York, I kind of, you know, my relationship with my family

has been kind of rocky and there was a time where, even when I lived in Baltimore, I just didn't see my family. Like, I probably see my family more now than I live in New York and I tour constantly. Then I did when I lived on the other side of Baltimore. When I was in my early to mid-20s, I moved back home and I hated it so much and it reminded me so much of what the issues were in my family

when I was at a college. That from the ages of like 24 to like, I don't know, 24 to like 28. I just didn't see my family much. I just made excuse. I didn't go, I didn't go for holidays like and then I got in a big fight with my dad. That just fucked things up even more and but it was kind of the catalyst for me to kind of repair the other relationships in my family and just really think about it and therapy really helped on that and All it took was a couple very uncomfortable conversations about why We the problems we had and about shit that they did that made me feel bad and like that were and then we just kind of looked at our family Dynamics together and those were difficult conversations, but ever since then it was like feel bad and like that we're and then we just kind of looked at our family dynamics together.

And those were difficult conversations. But ever since then it was like we just kind of all of us started making the effort to be in each other's lives a little more. We would do holidays together even if my parents weren't involved with me. My brothers would do it. And then you know we talk on the phone more and I would give them a you know they would come to me for advice like when in the past they wouldn't. And then we just kind of started hanging out more and more and now to the point where we have a great relationship,

we, you know, we talk all the time, we have, you know, like a little group chat, we try and, you know, my little brothers, you know, one's running a gym, I'm constantly on the road, all this stuff, it's hard to find time, but like, I go back to Baltimore and make sure to see them for at least a couple a couple times a year and so It's different than you and I think in some level our friend here. It's a little easier because you're just

Your main obstacle is gone now, right? Like what was fucking him up was his drinking or You know whatever you got sober from. I don't know if I missed, if I missed it. He's, did he specify? Mm-hmm. He just said sober. So anyway, the, your main obstacle was like not, you know, was probably substance abuse shit.

And now it's like, it's really just slowly build up that relationship, take them out, show a genuine interest in their lives if they're still in school age, like go to their fucking middle school basketball games, just like hang out with them, that's it, that's all you gotta do. And it will just naturally grow from there. It's like when I repaired my relationship with my family, it wasn't like we were best friends immediately,

but after a couple years of both of us being like, it was clear we all wanted, we were all into it and we were gonna like, if problems arose, we would deal with them. We just got much, much closer. So I think it's just, I think he's kind of worrying because it's so important to him that it's a sibling. It's like, it's one thing if your old roommate

isn't gonna accept your amends. Right? It's one thing of some fucking dickhead. You used to like shotgun monster energy drinks with, doesn't fuck with you anymore, but like your little siblings, it's different. So, but I think you're good, dude. I don't think you need to worry about it.

I think you're just kind of in your head because it matters so much to you, but here's the thing, you need to worry about it. I think you're just kind of in your head because it matters so much to you, but as long, but here's the thing, you have to do that stuff. Yeah. You can't just, first, you can't be like a deadbeat, divorced dad where you show up, and you're like, we're going to six flags,

and then don't show up for eight months after that. You know what I mean? You have to be there. You have to be in their lives. And if you want that, it's as simple as that. Now, that's just a matter of not letting things get in the way of that. Yeah, you have to make like an active effort.

Because also, I don't know how long he was like drinking or doing what I'm doing. And by the way, it's like, did you get drunk and kill both your parents in a fucking car accident? Because then it's a little different than if you just missed, you know, missed their birthday parties, because you were out. Cause then it's a little different than if you just missed, you know, missed their birthday parties cause you were on oxies.

Yeah. That's different. You can get past that. But yeah. But also it's like, he said that he made an amends to them. Like he sat down and apologized. But I think too,

like the big part is like an active, like living amends where like, Yes. You can apologize for something but if you're still, even though you're not drinking or whatever, still kind of like being passive and out of their lives, it's like they're not just gonna be like,

oh yeah, you don't do drugs anymore. Like, you're back. It's like they probably have so many memories of you like fucking shut up that now it's like, you have to make new memories and it's gonna take time. Just gonna take time, exactly. And by the way, yeah, it's like, it's gonna take time. Just gonna take time exactly. By the way, yeah, it's totally good

that you obviously are sober, but like, what's more important to have a relationship with your younger siblings is to be around. Like, you could be theoretically drunk and still, and if you're just hanging out, like how many fucking awesome drunk relatives did you have, right? So it's like in a fucked up way, it's like just not being there

was so much more important than your substance stuff. And I'm not telling you like, hey, by the way, buddy, you need to have a couple of pops every once in a while. I'm still be a cool brother. But it's like, you just have to put the time in. That's so much more important than anything else. So good luck, little buddy. I think we, we believe in you think it's gonna go good

What do you have to say over there? Oh this was the Albanian day laborer now you drunk Irish a strange for your siblings piece of shame I still get cards from my sister every fucking Christmas. He's gonna need to make an immense to you now. You fucking tell him, El, this fucking fuck that guy. By the way, I don't want you to give up on finding that guy rating your body if it's possible. I think I deleted my Twitter where he did that. Bummer, bummer, what do you say?

But if it happens to pop up up I'll send it to you. Great, I would love to for you to read it on air but you know what are we gonna do. Okay, Eldis, how long have we been going, pal? We're at 140 right now. We're cruising. We could do this all day. We got a good one.

Yeah, I got one that'd be fun to take us home with. Well, we do one more before. Okay. Oh Wait, fuck what time is it? But yeah, we are supposed to do another point. Yes But I haven't heard from that motherfucker Um, well, this is a good one either way. Yeah, please Hey, Stavvy. I hope you and my boy Elves are doing good. Love everything that you're doing. You might remember me from one of your stand-up shows last year.

I was teaching that quick teaching to work at Costco to eat their hot dogs. Oh, yeah. After my fifth day working there, I shit my pants, had to quit. It was a whole thing. But now I'm doing a lot better. And I'm doing work and job that pays very well.

That was in a... That was Providence. Providence, I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. Yeah, I think we had the blur that guy's face out. Yeah.

Well, hopefully we did. The blur is pants out. He had a right or die girl with him though. Even though he was going through it. Women are so loyal. I'm pretty crazy. Yeah, so loyal. It's crazy. The amount of men that they're like, that's my boy. I'm like, I know.

Okay, good for you. I know, I know. It's pretty sick. I'm pretty sick for, you know, pieces of shit. I can't wait to get a wife I don't deserve. I'm like, this day working there, I shit my pants, had to quit, it was a whole thing. But now I'm doing a lot better.

And I'm doing work and a job that pays very well, that I can't disclose the full details of, but I essentially work in politics. The problem is now that my, now fiance who I've been with for eight years really wants to leave her job and find something better. I've given her an open to get involved in politics with a job that pays very well and falls in her interests with civil rights and stuff which would be a huge jump from her current job in the arts she isn't jumping on the opportunity to and keeps putting it off

even though it could be huge for her and i really want both of us be able to support each other in the future for going to be planning wedding starting family and everything uh... yeah what do i do? Thanks so much. Oh, now she's not too in. Now she's not ambitious enough for you. What about fucking last year where your dumbass quit your teaching job to work at fucking Costco and soil your fucking dungarees? This bitch stood by you and the second you get your shit together, you're

like, this fucking bitch is lazy. I don't know if I could be with somebody like this. I mean, come on. I mean, you know, you got to give her a little, she let you figure it out. Didn't she? She let you kind of wander in the wilderness a little bit. It is kind of fucked up to be like, we got to get serious now that I finally am ready to get serious. You know what I think it is? Please tell us. I don't think this is even an issue. I think it might be one of those things

where I'll say that I like want to change, but then when someone gives me the advice to do it, I'm like, fuck you. I'm like, you're gonna have to figure it out. You did. So I'm like, just give her space, like let her vent about it. She might not actually even want change.

She might just like want to complain about something or feel like she needs to make a change. Like maybe she just now feels like weird that you're doing good where she was used to being the like level-headed normal one and now that you're at that place. It might be just a little bit weird for her so just be like, whatever you want, I support you,

but don't try and interject, because you might just wanna be saying stuff to say stuff. It's possible for sure. Now look, it also is possible that, you know, this is something she should do. But like, if it is, how do you even get a partner to do something you think is right for them, but they might be scared to do. I don't even fucking know.

Like, you know, what would you do in that situation where it's like, you want to do your board, you want to get your board from you have a better job or like he has an opportunity that he's kind of scared to take. How would you even approach that? Well, I think it's like, I think it's being like, take the chance, I'm here for you.

I'll support you if it doesn't work out. Like, I believe that it will work out and you just kind of have to like get through that. Right. But I think it's natural to be anxious or to be not. Yeah, for sure. Want to do something, but I think like if you have someone who's like almost more excited excited or breathing down your neck.

Doesn't help. It makes it feel more scary. For sure, for sure. I'll bounce that question over to you as another person or healthy relationship. How would you approach it? I don't know. I mean, you can't make your partner like do something even if you, you know,

when it's like about career stuff, I mean, that's just like so hard for everyone to figure it out. Yeah. I feel like it's like also rare to, if you are in a relationship to be like, you know, equally happy with a job or equally unsatisfied. Like, there's always like some nuances and differences and like, you know, yeah, I don't think I don't think you could like push your you can like encourage them and you could be like, well take take the chance and we'll figure it out and you know, it's all gonna whatever we'll like figure it out either way, but you know, yeah, if they're not like enthusiastic about it, it's hard to make someone feel that yeah Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. And the don't breathe down their neck is a great thing because you're just gonna like not, you just have to give them the space to decide. And by the way, even if it's working for good parts of politics, working in politics, fucking sucks dick. And it's like, if she's been in the arts and it's like, well, now I get to

now I get to make more money in working, but it's like, or she's been in the arts, and it's like, well, now I get to make more money in working, or do I want to just keep fucking painting and make less money? You know what I mean? Yeah, I think. It feels like there might have been a power dynamic, or she for a long time got to be more in control, and now it seems like it's kind of shifted.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a different man than the guy they'd crowd work with two years ago. I'll tell you that much. Got a real pep in his step. So I'm like, maybe, like, yeah, this is a different man than the guy I did crowd work with two years ago I'll tell you that much. Yeah, got a real pep in his step So I'm like maybe like keep you know just shit your pants every few months Feel like she still is like a true true true. That's true. Yeah, eat a couple go go to Costco Get have yourself a little hot dog lunch and then and then shit yourself around her So she feels like an alpha. Yeah.

And that way, we're back to square. We're back to even. Yeah, that sounds like that answered your question. But yeah, I think within that last question, we did give you some very nice nuggets of advice. Even if we didn't end it concisely. So anyway, good luck. Don't, don't breathe down on that glitter maker-owned decisions. and if she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't want to fucking do it. Take us home, Eld. And do you have anything you want to plug

before we finish the show here? No, I'm gonna, Ali Mkowski.com slash shows. Ali Mkowski.com slash shows. You heard it here first, folks. She just debuted that website. And if, and if child buff is doing another pop-up, you can probably find me there. Yeah, she'll be there. If you want to rate her body, DM her on Twitter. If you have a huge day, can do only fans, I'm sure the guys think was awesome, right? No, it was like a skinny long. Skinny long. But it was more like the vibe. It was like, him and his like alternative girlfriend. Oh, interesting. It was during skinny long. Just skinny long. But it was more like the vibe. It was like, him and his like alternative girlfriend.

Oh, interesting. It was during the pandemic. I think it was girlfriend. Yeah, it was him and his girlfriend. They're not together anymore. Oh. But it just was like, I'd never seen, I was so used to just like porn hub porn

that I'd never seen just like a couple. Having sex, like normal sex for the most part. I don't think, see, this feels like a gender difference. That would make me sad. I'd be like, this guy gets the fuck this awesome girl. This is the part that made me sad was when they were like, the only fans money goes to our dog food.

You can't even buy fucking Purina's cow long. You have to put your pussy on a webcam for dog food. Yeah What that is tough. How long we've been in a relationship now? Little over two years What are the numbers dipped are we still go? Oh, yeah We're happily roommates. I love my bestie We cuddle. Sometimes you kiss on the mouth. But no, we both have like very low libido. He's on SSRI's.

That's a big problem. And I'm just not coming. So. You still not busted? Well, I started seeing a Womelich. Okay. I'm a giant of fairy. We just got into this.

That's my thing. I want to leave on that big. Tell me about the womb, the womb witch. She's this woman who was recommended to me by a friend who had some issues. Busting. Busted. She's the bus doctor.

Yes, she's the bus, the bus mommy. Yeah. I guess she does a lot of stuff. Like she works with people who have like sexual trauma sure So people have just like prolapse uterus is like weird shit going on down there and so I hit her off I said hey, I can't come help yeah, and so I've had two sessions with her and she like I don't want all the mail listeners to get all fucking hot and horny. But she like respectfully she fingers me respectfully. And it was so funny.

No, no chances woman has any certification. No, no, she's just like one on her treat once. No, there's no. There's no place. It's with crystals in her, so is finger popping you. She wearing gloves? Yeah, she wears gloves. Okay, thank God.

Yeah. That's why you would literally just be getting fingered. It was so funny, though, because she was like, I only use one finger, and I'm like, that makes it better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, you go put two in there. That's what you mean. There's not like a description of like,

oh one finger's fine. Two fingers is like perverted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the first session, yeah, she was just kind of feeling around. Getting a lay in the land. Yeah, she's mapping it. It's called like vaginal mapping or something.

Yeah, oh, she's like waiting for the echoes to come back. She's like, ooh, ooh, ooh, Which way is sound bouncing off your big ass pussy? It was so funny because as a dumb little woman, when guys are like, oh you have such a type pussy, you're like, thanks so much. Yeah, yeah. And then you realize it's because you're not enjoying it at all and your time's the whole time. Anytime a guy is saying you have a type pussy,

the guy should be embarrassed. Should you be like, oh, I'm not comfortable with you. I'm actively shutting you up. But also, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Also, thank you. The Womewitch did not have anything to say about the titan of something Tracey.

She was like, lot of trauma. Oh, oh,, lot of trauma. I'm a trauma. Oh, my God. But then it was so funny in the last session. The last session we had was more of like the session to try and get me like more relaxed so I could potentially have an orgasm.

And it was funny because it was feeling good and it's so weird because it's just like this middle-aged mom like hearing me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just laying there on like a massage table. And you don't want to fuck her. It was feeling good and it's so weird because it's just like this middle-aged mom like Just laying there on like a massage table. I don't want to fuck her. Yeah, yeah But I felt so in it started to feel good and it was so funny because I just started laughing because she was like doing the same movement Over and over and I and I just started giggling and I go you know that you're doing something right right now don't you like You're in the groove and she was a zone and she was like yeah, I can tell Wow, I was like you bitch the wound which should give if she can make people bust in such a clinical She should give like fingering lessons to men. Well, I did I said if I could I bring my boyfriend here?

And she'll just like watch you guys. She'll watch him finger you. Not yeah, or he'll watch her. Let him watch the master cook. Yeah, I wonder how I would respond if I saw my girl when getting free. I'd be like, I know I would be here for you, but I would just be in my head.

I'd be like, maybe this lady will suck my dick. Like there's no way I wouldn't be thinking that. Like if my girlfriend took me to watch a different woman figure her, even if she had gloves on, part of me would be like, I wonder if she'd suck my dick while she figured my girlfriend. Like fully that's what I would be thinking. There would be, and even I would try and stop that,

and it would just come back more and more. My dick would just be hard watching this. Like there's no way that wouldn't happen to me. And that's an scenario. I can tell you that for a fact. Very interesting. So you still, I just assumed, because when we first met, you were doing stand up about how fucked up and broken

your pussy was. But you were a child with a fucked up pussy. You were a 20 year old shy were a child with a fucked up pussy. Yeah. You were a 20 year old shy of a buff fan with a fucked up pussy with jokes about discharge getting a mistaken for come, if I recall correctly. Wow, yeah. Right, yeah, yeah. And so, but I just assumed, you know, you grow out of it and you learn to bust, but we're still, we're still struggling.

You know what I realized though? It's, it's not that it's like broken. It's just that I'm so tense, like I can't relax. Even with a partner that you actually love. I love, yeah. I love, yeah. Wow. Wow.

I think too, like I was saying where I'm like when I'm hooking up, it's a performance. It's hard to get out of that. Like, I totally understand that. It's supposed to be mutually beneficial in my brain. If I was a dude, I'd be like, this is for me, but in my woman brain, I'm like, this is for them. This is my way of helping and being of service.

He bought me a bud ice in the parking lot. Yeah. I owe this to him. I owe him some clenched pussy. Yeah, I just wanna get over that. Yeah. You definitely do, especially with a boyfriend. That's crazy.

I know. I would have thought, because it's definitely, I have this thing where it's like, I kind of identify with a performance thing a little bit, where I think as you just kind of are wired that way where you're like, this is how I should be behaving. But in a relationship, that kind of goes, and I'm like, you know, you get into a groove with somebody and you feel more comfortable.

Like for me, it's more like, you don't want to be embarrassed so you're just like, I have certain things that I'll just do until I'm comfortable. And but it does go away in a relationship, and I would have just assumed that happened to you, but I guess not. It goes away where it's like, we're very comfortable with each other and there's no sense of like embarrassment. Like if I were to like, happened to you, but I guess not. It goes away where it's like we're very comfortable with each other and there's no sense of like embarrassment.

Like if I were to like far or something while we're having sex, like we laugh about it and it would be like no big deal. But there is something about like this deeper intimacy that's beyond just like, oh embarrassing, where it's like you see me. An actual connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get that. You know, once I keep getting this lady to check me out. She's getting this lady to check me out. I might not have a boyfriend, I might yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that you know once I keep getting this lady Boy The fucking room which now do you think she'll see me? I draw push you on my balls Stretch my balls out. I draw push. I'm like, yeah, my clips up top You're gonna want to focus on that my pussy's no problem. Don't even look at it

Like an I color my dick pink. I get like a fucking marker. You know what, what is this women's march hats? You put it over your penis. Oh fuck. Well good luck with the womb which pleat. You know, we really, we're gonna need some, the next time you come back, we're gonna need, you to have busted in the womb. I got real close.

Yeah. It's looking good for me. I'm coming. I'm rooting for you. I want all my friends to bust. Ha ha ha. Ah, the womb which, great anecdote, Ali. I'm rooting for you. I want all my friends to bust. The womb which great anecdote, Ali. So that's, well, no calls going to follow that. Surely, and we're not even going to try it. So that's our episode folks.

Ali, thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having me. Go to alleymikovsky.com. What is it? Ali Mik.com. Is it something alley jokes? Dot com. Yeah. Alimccawski.com slash shows. Slash shows. And yeah, we'll see you guys. We'll see you soon. Thanks for listening. Bye-bye. See you next time. I love it sweet, it's delicious, and I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've

gotten sucked off. I'd be like, this is actually one time after a day I was like, want to come back with some fruit salad. And I thought it was smooth, and then some girl, after she fucking was like, that was so weird, you asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, Dziac. Well, here's the thing, thank you for bringing me back on point,

because I was eating the mango, and oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. Yeah. And I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest, you know I'm an ED, I've tried them all from the gas stations to other other services, mango Rx. Now has a new ED pill that is game changing, okay? Really?

Tastes like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all them all, they got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this made my dick harder than ever. We're talking zwing. You know when they take out a sword and it goes, yeah, that's how I felt putting my day, taking my dick out of the condom. It was We're talking zwing. You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing. Yeah.

That's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light. Yes. One little gleam. One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it

here first. I don't know. Yeah, because like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science in here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It is is it was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard science in the field. Right? People who have a beautiful goal. Here's their mission, make America hard again, eldest. They have, you know, let's get, can we get, fuck, fucking idiot. There you go, sorry. We tried to give it the applause, it deserved,

but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again. I think on, whatever side of the aisle you're on, conservative liberal leftist centrist, you could we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks, all this division in the world would go away. I think this is such a good product. I'll just I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on on ED medication in general, because look, here's the thing about my ego, Alex, you might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal.

Yeah. All right? I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste

do make me very impressed. You've seen me take that a bowl That's sure just cuz you want a little dummy I'm so much to get high I'm saying you take weed adibles I've seen you take fiber adibles where you're shitting yourself cuz you wanted a momentary a momentary snack I've seen you take thoms on an empty stomach just cuz you wanted the taste and that's how we got Elders through the door here with mango rx. It's easy folks buying mango buying mango is so easy. Just go to mango rx.com Complete a short and secure telemedicine visit you're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door

The telemedicine visit is over and literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing Quick and easy be sure to use code Stav 20 to save 20% off your first order. You and your partner are gonna love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries.

So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an air B and B. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms, and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding

for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.