Stavvy's World - #48 - Conner O'Malley

Episode Date: October 30, 2023

Conner O'Malley joins the pod to discuss his film 'The Mask,' getting drunk in his basement in Chicago, squaring off with pops, a great idea for a new kind of airline, and much more. Conner and Stav help callers including a gas station employee who suspects his female boss is hitting on him, and a scientist whose overbearing coworker is stealing her notebooks and snooping way too much. Watch 'The Mask' and check out Conner O'Malley's comedy: https://www.endorphinport.com/ Follow Conner O'Malley on social media: https://www.endorphinport.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@omalleyrockhttps://www.instagram.com/conner_omalley_https://www.tiktok.com/@conner_omalley_ https://twitter.com/conner_omalley Unlock exclusive episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Everybody to Stavis World, 904800 Stavis World. We're gonna solve all your problems, folks. We're feeling good. We're coming straight off the Nupshul, sort of held a Sula. Congratulations, eldest. I'm sure we'll get into this more later on. But our guest wasn't invited to your wedding.

Yeah. You guys said, even though you guys didn't met one time at the Bell House. Yeah, dude. Who's the shirt show?, which is pretty rude? Anyone in New York come on down Here in the neighborhood We got our boy Connor O'Malley in the stew. Thanks for coming bro. Yeah, let him let him know dude

You see easier to plug the devil dude the devil is incredible He's got into the devil big time these last couple of months and a day starring Arnold Swartz now. Is that a devil? You remember that one? I haven't seen that one. 1999. I just watched the one.

What's the one where Keanu Reeves is the devil son? That was that was that. That's about. Dude, that's a yes. Did I spoil it? Sorry folks. No, no I'm never gonna watch it. No, no, no, you should literally watch it seriously. It's Al Pacino. Al Pacino is I'm sorry to spoil again the devil It's pretty clear what's going on. It's name like like no, no, no, you're thinking of angel heart where Robert De Niro is a man named Lou Cipher. Yes, yes, yes. I don't know if that screenwriter being like, hmm, yes.

Lou Cipher. Lou Cipher. And they like don't, it's funny because apparently in the marketing for the movie, they don't give it away. Like it was like a supposed to be a twist. But the guy's name is Lou Cipher. So it's not exact. Like imagine how dumb you'd have to supposed to be a twist, but the guy's name is Lou Cypher. So it's not exactly like, you imagine how dumb you'd have to be to be like,

what? Is that the one where he like, there's a scene with him with the egg? I think so. Yeah. I've been meaning to rewatch that. That's Mickey Rourke, Lisa Bonet looking out of control. Awesome.

We're in our beautiful stuff. We're in our gold. Good stuff. Women are gold. That's why I take Israel. Lisa Bonnezewild. I also watched Kimmy, which is Lisa Bonnez' daughter. What's your name? Do you guys remember? Uh, she's Cat Women.

So we, uh, Zoe Kravitz. Really, really great. I mean, that movie actually ruled. That's a Soderberg. He's the king. He's the king. He's the man. He's the man. He's like just satisfying quick. I love that.

And she is getting railed in part of the movie. So that's a little, you know, I'm a big thing. When a hot girl gets railed in a movie, she's saying, man, I'm gonna drink my quick off of this shit. I really, I didn't because I was on a plane, but I did. Can you take your pictures, sir? Yeah, the flash is just going off. Sorry, I'm going to drink off. I really I didn't because I was on a plane, but I did The flash is going off Sorry, I'm gonna trick off the flitter

I'm a gentleman, so I'm not pulling out my hog now, but just know I'm thinking of airline airline recon Trick off all mail all mail so that's So you want you want the like air the airplane airplane version of the steam room at Equinox. Yeah, yeah. But it's, yeah, anyone can beat off. It's not expressly gay, but it wouldn't hurt to be gay probably. Like there's a French early and that's all business class. This is just that.

But it's all the beat off class. You gotta wear sweaters. Or if there's beat off class, where it's like you have, you have, yeah, I mean, it would be hard to do that in economy. If you have those little pods, those pods you could basically beat off in already. Yeah, the Iliad beat off pods.

Mm-hmm. The new first class product, the Iliad. Yeah. Yeah, all the like Saudi airlines. They're really, they're genius. They're so... Those guys are awesome. Just Greece, where Albania have like a propaganda airline?

Well, it's hilarious to think that Albania would even have an airline. That's number one. I think we do. I think I fluid one. What was it? What's it called? I think it's called Albania Air. Something's brought it. I don't think the airplane.

I don't think the plane was like branded or anything. And it was horrible and tiny. Albania Air, baby. It's like Air Linguist. You were feeling that? That's the Irish shit. Yeah. Which is funny to sound so much like Conno Linguist. Yeah.

It is pussy eating Air Flan. Yeah, now we're talking We got beat off air. We got air. I'm gonna start air kundal English and I'm gonna buy the air lingus planes I'm gonna save a lot of money on paint From green from green of pink green to pick that's true fuck you're right Could be real fucked up disease green pussy. Drake's airplane pink. I think it is. I think it is.

Theodrop of him showing off his airplane. Yeah, I don't. What the fuck is this? Which I think that was a moment where I was like, why do I want this guy? I'm out on Drake after, oh it looks like it's blue. Maybe the interior's pink. I don't mean to, I don't mean to don't mean to expose myself as a class trader,

but I did fly on the Puma jet to France. On the Puma Island. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I never can't. Yup, yup. There's a Puma jet. There's a Puma jet. Let's explore the Puma Island for a second though. It would be interesting

It would be interesting if there was like there's a like there was Epstein Island if there's one for bestieality Yeah, you fucking cats you can fuck a big cat dogs. Yeah, mr. Hands Island. That would be kind of nice That would be pretty and you know what if they had that, it would obviously were anti pedophilia islands. We are not, that is not our thing. It's not our non-consensual, above age sex island. Yeah, even that. Even just regular, non-consent we are not into.

And let's just say, even if they're not happening on an island, we're not fans of these two things. But, on the main But on the main line I don't know States right? I guess let's not make any blankets to you But I think

B.C.L.D. Island is actually the most That's actually like a response It makes the way to handle that And look I know Madagascar style Which was in the Hitler's plan What's it? I think he was like Madagascar will be like our race museum Where we oh no, yeah, like a shoe of like the Chinese guys and

Sure that that's now okay. Did Hitler keep any juice for the museum? Because that would be interesting just an interesting question. I think it's Madagascar plan I'll just yeah, I'llis please go ahead and Google Hitler to Madagascar plan. Oh yeah, well this is interesting. There was like kind of a lib contingency within the Nazi party that was like, let's just give them an island. And then they were also like, look, we were

have to kill them would just like Can't straight them like hey there was like that was like a big thing was like Do that and they can you know just kind of live their life out whatever you need someone to do the books Yeah, they already started when they came to circumcision why not keep it going? It's a job Got their whole dick off. I think there's an HBO movie about it. Really? Yeah, where it's like them like doing, we're gonna do the Holocaust,

but there is like a contingency of lives. Guys, come on, we gotta, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta set it to an island. Like the people who did Judger than Nazi part of that. It's not, it's just mean. People like, we're never getting anything done. It was whistling. You know, we got, at least they're fucking believing something. We were like we're never getting anything done Waffling At least they're fucking believe in something

Wow interesting that would be a much better plan how deep into the podcast we are already on seven minutes eight minutes eight minutes nice demonetized Definitely demon We are against it nice demonetized definitely demonetized. Story. Story. Story. We are against it. Yeah, but the Puma J. with, anyway, back to what I was saying, the Puma J. was pretty sick. Beyonce, Flute, because Jay-Z, I think, either owns Puma or has some kind of like brand deal

with them. So he flies the Puma jet sometimes. So I was on a jet with Jay Z. No, no, no, but I use the same toilet Beyonce's ass cheeks were probably on. That's pretty fucking cool. That is the thing, man. When you're watching porn, these people

shitting piss out of these things. Thanks. That is a beautiful ass. That diarrhea. Yeah, that is true. That's a messed up way to go about it. Where do you think the best, if you're God, you can start all over. Okay, put it on the what? If you're God.

God, okay. Okay. Now do you shit stuff? Like because we all want, here we all like a big ass, you know, we'd like to see it, we'd like to fuck it, et cetera. Um, now, do you make it so that, you know what? Actually, I think I have an answer. Maybe you shit out of the bottom of your foot.

Okay. And the ass is purely for fucking, and the push, well, now what do we do with the push? Do babies still come out of the push? I think pussy and penis stick around. Okay. It's piss still coming out of it, although we figure out something for it. Because then you lose squirting if piss goes. Yeah. Yeah, we gotta keep squ stick around. Okay. It's pissed still coming out of it. Although we figure out something for...

Because then you lose squirting if piss goes. Yeah. Yeah, we gotta keep squirting around. But I'll say it. Slip it in slide. Yeah. But I say we seal up the asshole. Seal up the hole.

And then like in kind of, we get rid of one of the kidneys. Okay. And then where the kidneys is, there's a cassette, like kind of like you know how in some RVs, there's like a cassette for the waste. You can remove it from the RV and take it to pop it out Interesting, so you kind of are filling up this it's like a clostomy bag And you can take it out and kind of on zip it dump it into something put it back in so you're like if you have diarrhea It doesn't matter if you're concentrated. It doesn't matter

Now, but what if it gets too full? You start to you can shit. Oh, you start puke. See that's a problem big problem. It's spewing that's a big problem of your design I had the worst I had fucking straight up dysentery for like Where how did it happen in England? Wow? I was doing shows in England in Ireland Damn, you were there for a while too. I like was coming back and forth. It was so stupid. Yeah. Why did you do that? No. I didn't want to, I wanted to vote in a primary. Wow, who's the lip now? Who's backing the Madagascar plan now? You literally don't know who I was voting for. That's true. You got me there. You were writing in Alex Jones. But I had, it was the first time I had diarrhea on an airplane.

How do I do? It was so bad. Yeah, imagine getting that on Albania air elders. You're done. I don't even remember if there was a bathroom on there or not. There had to be. It was a short flight, so I didn't even remember if there was a bathroom on there or not. There had to be. It was a short place. I didn't have to check, but it was.

It was a beach bottle. Yeah. It was like a bucket in the cockpit. You have to open it door. I'm like, excuse me. Excuse me, pilot. I gotta take a shit. The co-pilot gets up from the bucket.

He's sitting on a plank plank the bucket with a plank over He picks picks the plank up you shit in it. He's like make it quick we're landing soon Damn dude was it fish would it was a bad English food or what it was something I ate in New York Instantly shit my pants before I left for America at home Oh, and then just like the worst just like And it would like go away for a couple days and I think I'm normal and then I would shit myself It was like so bad. I don't know what it was. You would shit your pants. Yeah I'd be like out and like I should myself. I gotta go back to the hotel. I couldn't like eat anything

I like a lot like 15 pounds put it all back on but it was Horrible and then and then when my shit returned it was like pale Interesting it was like this pale clay And it was just like yellow or pale It looked like Sand like pale sand like someone had filled your ass ass with play though somebody filled my ass with play dough and it was just so I Was like I'm dead. I'm done. Could you eat anything like was your stomach on the rocks for a while?

I could only eat cereal. Wow, dude It was so and like I had to do like a week of shows in London that were those shows were going bad And I was like bombing and constantly possibly shitting yourselves. So the only thing I could eat was pret. And I was like, I'd eat like a pret sandwich and then I immediately shitted out. And then I'm on stage shaking. Like I'm gonna shit myself.

This like British audience hates me. The show has like straight up porn in it. But I can't stand it. Did you get ridden up like the way they always, because England still has like culture. And so they'll send like a somebody to write up every comedy show. Did you get like a weird write up?

It was like, yeah, I got like tons of bad reviews. Let's fucking pull one up out of this. Yeah. All the reviews aren't even that fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like kind of like... It was like... Yeah, injecting stupidity and...

Yeah. It's just like they don't get stupid shit. Yeah, no, they... They're so... Yeah, they're like put your own... Put your own address. Put your own address and dance funny. They love... Oh yeah, they... No no, no, whatever it doesn't matter

I've already lost interest. They'll just you're One minus one producer point. We're not googling it fast enough. I don't even know what like what is the what do they think is good? Like what is their favorite thing? I don't know. Yeah, I mean British comedy sucks dick If anybody is really good,. Yeah, I mean British comedy sucks dick. If anybody is really good. Yeah, I guess. I feel like there's... There's definitely a couple of bangers. Don't get me wrong. I guess I just feel like...

I feel this way about England and Australia. It's like you can be like... You can get famous there, pretty easy and no one really gives a fuck. Like it doesn't matter that much. Like I remember when we went, when we, I think I've told the story before, but like when we did, we did like a come down tour. It was a nice dude.

That's awesome. We did a come down tour on Shalea and like, the guys, like the comics on the, like just on bar shows with us, we're like, you know, they were bad. You know, like they were, like the comics on the shit, like just on bar shows with us were like, you know, they were bad. You know, like they were, like maybe a couple were okay, but they're all doing like goofy, absurd bullshit

that there's no punchlines. And I'd be like, oh, that guy was whatever. And then you just turn on the TV and he's just like, in a movie, you know what I mean? It's like, he's like in a, and it's like, it doesn't really matter. There's a couple good comics obviously but I just have like, I definitely have American, I have American supremacy when it comes to stand up comedy.

There's no way. There's just sometimes there's kind of an unwillingness to be stupid. But there are a lot of, I know like I'm friends with a lot of like British comedians that are like, I'm very stupid, I'm open to being stupid. Nice. And it's like really, they're very funny. Yeah. But there's, I think maybe it's kind of the influence of the footlights, which is like

their lampoon. Mmm, that sucks. And like, I don't know. I feel like they have funny people in Ireland. I only know more open to. Yeah. Cause there it's a better country. I fuck with them.

I mean, England can just suck my dick in general. I mean, basically you go anywhere in the world that everyone's feeling that way, right? About England? Yeah, it's funny to be like England is like, oh, we defeated the Nazi. We're part of the people. Well, you know what I mean?

They're part of the whole, they're part of the people. Well, you know what I mean? They're part of the good guys. And then just like ask half of the world, whose worst, Britain, or the Nazis? No, they are taking England. Like they're like, you go to India, you know. They already got the sauce, they stole the swashka from. Yeah, first of all, you take our swashka. It's like, all right, that's kind of big ups to us.

You're kind of co-signing us. Anytime there's a movie set in Chicago, my family would always rent it. Yeah, no matter what it was. So they're like, what's awesome. Yeah, we don't agree what you're up to, but, but yeah, it's like, you watch RR, we fuck RRR rules. You've seen RRR?

No, but it's a awesome movie. Awesome movie, it's like, it's not Bollywood, but it's like a separate production city out with like a separate like in India and it's just this incredible like war epic like war epic about these guys that are basically basically like telling the England to go fuck themselves and it's like in that movie, they, the British are Nazis straight up. Like there's no way around it. And in India, which is like insanely,

most people just like, yeah, fuck England. So anyway, so I'm like, the Nazis were like, they like Hitler would always be like, I, he called like the British their cousins. He was always like, I wish that they would, it's like documentaries like I wish that they would, it's like documentary, he's like, I wish that they would just like join us.

And he like made it, made offer it like through the Royal Family, like that one guy that advocated, he was like, he'll be free. Oh yeah, that guy was, that guy was kind of a Nazi, that's right. And they were kind of like, I mean, they shared all the same ideas, and they were eugenics and shit like that. Totally.

Which so did they cure in the US. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even like there was a bunch of like Irish Revolutionaries that were like slightly aligned with the Nazis interesting because they were like yeah like we'll take over and We like we'll give you guys We get serious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh interesting They really overplayed their hand with the whole you know exterminating the juice thing. Because if they just didn't do that, if they had gone mad at Gasgar plan,

we might be fucking speaking German, bro. We might be speaking German, and honestly, Madagascar might be a fun little vacation spot. I mean, the movie is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine how much funnier Madagascar the movie would be. If just a bunch of Jews were writing it, did. A bunch of the best comedy writers living on that island coming up with fun little

hijinks. Wow, we'll never know. Yeah, I was supposed to go to England and then I just did not go. I don't have a good thing. I don't have a good reason, but I was I was kind of looking forward to getting one of those like, country reviews from like, you do posh guy Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so but I also want to go and I want to go steal back all the Greek statues Those fucking cocks. Oh, yeah, they fucked you guys over bad England truly and the other thing is even like all the like for all the like Kings and shit They're all they were all cousins like they were all like so we got like a German king that England gave us

after the revolution. They were like, we're gonna put one of our dumb ass cousins in charging fucking country. Yeah. And Prince Philip was born in Greece, the guy who fucked the queen and made Charles and all those ugly motherfuckers.

So, fucked the queen and made Charles. So, and that one pet of fuck. Yeah, so technically, you know, he's, he claims to be Greek. That's, that guy's not Greek. He's a German fucking piece of shit. Piece of shit. Erristocrat and they can all suck my dick.

Yeah, I'm only here for trash people. Dude, hell yeah. Let's fucking trash the dead, the dead royal family. But it was, you know, whatever. Maybe say, listen, sorry, England, maybe I'll come by sometime. Maybe I'll come by, check it out. Have you done Ireland or Scotland?

Haven't done any of that stuff, dude. I think you'd really like Ireland's cool. I wanna go to Ireland. You're ethnically, you're not from any of that shit are you or what do you I got citizenship? You guys citizenship Get the fuck out of here desperate for citizens really if you can trace back just cuz oh Mally Yeah, you just show up. Yeah, sure My grandparents were from there. Oh, grandparents. okay. So you actually can trace it pretty recently. Do either of your parents have a fucking

even hint of an accent? Not really, but when I was over there recently, I was talking to, I was doing shows and asking all the comedians, the main thing I felt connected with them was like, did your parents hit you? No, yeah, yeah. Like everybody, it's like, yeah, me too.

Yeah, everybody gave you a little wax. It's like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, everybody, it's like, yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah. Everybody gave you a little wax. It's like, okay, that's culturally, I feel quite good. Of course, yeah, that's now I'm in the motherland. Deep shame. Oh, yeah. Just feeling guilty 24 seconds.

All the time, no matter what. Waking up, just being like, everybody hates me. Yeah. Yeah. They all feel that too. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, you're connected. We're both your parents' irons, you're just on one side. That's awesome. Yeah, you're connect we're both your parents Irish are just on one side That side I guess you know me. Yeah, my dad and then

My grandma was English Damn bro, she fucked my Grandpa who came over and wanted to get his dick wet during World War two Came over and wanted to get his dick wet during World War II Yeah, hell yeah, it's excellent nice for a plane ticket back to These horrors will fuck for whatever these horrors will fuck for an economy seat Less yeah, like I think she was on a boat. Maybe you think you center on a boat, dude. This world. We're taking the boat She's fuck for the boat She did was on a boat maybe, I think you sent her on a boat, dude. This world worth it. You were taking the boat. She fucked for the boat. Yeah.

She did fuck for a boat. Oh my God. But not even like a yacht, we're talking, they had this bitch coming over with like, lambs and potatoes and lambs. And like, big sack. Iron ore. She had to be pulled out by a rope.

Like it, like it, it held kitchen. And they, so that, but then your family should, you grew up in Chicago, right? In the city. Fuck yeah, dude. So they must have came, they came, Ellis Island straight to Chicago. Straight to Chicago, we want to go where the beefs are.

Yeah, dude. Where the pizza is. I don't know why they came here. We have like weird family all over the place. Like I did a show on Pittsburgh and my dad was like, oh yeah, you have a family over there. I remember one time my dad drove to Pittsburgh because his brother was blinded in the steel.

But something happened where he like got blinded. And he like drove over to Pittsburgh to see him. He's like, hey man, socks. Sorry dude. That's socks dude, all right. I got a 14 hour drive back. Yeah, I gotta be up in the morning. I'm gonna put a, no shit, I could have called you.

Yeah, I guess you can't really see me, huh? But you're full, you're parents Greek. Full Greek baby, full Greek, and we we got a little we got just a little hitting Not too much just a little sprinkle my grandma my grandma lived with us straight you know straight from the Straight from the old country. She would threaten you to hit you with a with a Hershue okay or her like switch. She had a switch that she claimed she claimed she had the magic switch that would come from Greece to fuck us up. But she only very lightly hit us and then, my parents tried to hit us a couple times,

but it just didn't work. And then my dad had a huge anger problem, so a couple times my boy, under the guise of parenting, we just, you know, beat the fuck out of you. You need it. I do think that there is like a distinct difference between people who got hit growing up.

Yeah. You're a beat yo-kids. Yeah. You got beat yo-kids. You got to beat your god damn kids. You have to do it. You got to know Mali's next special. I'm a beat yo-kids.

And it's me beating a child. Yeah. That's my mind. Bring up your misbehaving children. You just walloped them. Did you ever, I remember once my neighbor, they had like a nanny and then we were over me, my brother were hanging out and the nanny hit me and then the nanny like went and told my mom like, he was misbehaving so I hit him and my mom was

like, thank you for Yeah, like yeah, like in the 50s if you were in a macy's and some kid was running around you could be like And then their dad would shake your hand and buy you a fucking a root beer float I was you ever get the hands put on you man my mom tried it one time But I was like in middle school. You were already big as fuck by that. Yeah. It was good because we just kind of both started laughing. This just doesn't feel right. My name is not a good. Your dad never, your dad was probably too checked out to even hit. He never. Yeah. He threw tantrums and you know would yell way too loud. Of course he's annoying him. But never anything physical.

But he would never square up. No. Yeah, that makes sense. My dad physically like in high school. They're like fistfod both of my brothers. Multiple times in loss. That's not good. To lose once and then be like, I gotta get back in there. And he started all the facts here.

So he started them, like I remember just like waking up to my oldest brother back. He's done. He's done. And like I open up my bedroom door. He's like got him pinned. Fuck you. Fuck you. And then he's squared up with me. I just, nah. Fuck you, I just, fuck you out. And then he's squared up with me in high school, but his back was too fucked up. It was like, I'm like,

no man, you can't do it. I'm not putting you in high school. The fist fight's awesome. That's such a wild move. You really need to, you really need to fist fight your sons. Yeah, that's the passing of the torch. Yeah. When you can finally win the fight, now that has to listen to you. Now you're equal.

Yeah, and now you're equals. Yeah. Because you were, you were a big boy, right? You were fat as shit back as youth. Oh, yeah. Oh, peace. Was the whole family fat as shit? We're large family.

That's awesome, dude. A nice Chicago. Yeah. A couple of sure. I sure large family. Yeah. So those were, those were Chicago. Couple of sure. I sure, a large one. Yeah. So those were heavyweight bouts then. Heavyweight bouts, big, big family, still kind of big. Yeah, hell yeah.

One time, when I was like 20, I just like, maybe I'm not gonna eat four burgers every day. And then I just was like kind of like, I'll have like chicken instead, like immediately like lost all the way. That's all areas. And like it happened kind of fast because I was like, you know, 1920.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we had a family reunion. And I did, I showed up late. And I had like my extended family hadn't seen me in a while and my brothers told all my cousins that I had AIDS. So I showed up and all my like weird like firefighting cousins are like, you're right man. I love the idea. In your family it's more plausible that you have AIDS. Then you just ate a couple salads. Man, he's got eight. Well, everyone's fat as shit, unless,

so they get some kind of horrible virus in this family. That's fucking sick. He's got eight. And they believed it? I think they targeted like a few cousins. Yes, the gullible ones. And they believed it. Not even gullible, just like the ones they didn't like.

And then, and I had to say, I think they were like, I think they were like, I think they were like, I think they were like, I think they were like, I think they targeted a few cousins. Yes, the Goable ones. They believed it. Not even Goable, just like the ones they didn't like. Mmm. And then, and I had to give it up. Like, it's like, that's really funny. That is really, really good.

It's really, really good. Were people weird around you? The one, one, one, one cut, it was like, hey man. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, yeah, you look good. Oh, thanks man. Yeah, do it awesome, man. And it was also in the basement of a holiday in by Ohio Airport. Oh, yes. Yeah, dude, awesome man. And it was also in the basement of a holiday in by Ohio Airport.

Oh, yeah, that's the worst location. That's insane. So they would have, it wasn't in someone's house. It was at the fucking... It was at like a holiday in. Yeah. We would either be like at the park district or like, we know somebody that manages this hotel.

Jesus Christ, please. Yeah, sorry, man. We got some flies on deck. That's fucking hilarious, dude, that we that because the family reunion I'm only I only really know of the family reunion as a black phenomenon and like a park and there's a Yeah, you were Reversing the lightness for Irish. Oh, I didn't know that we're going back to here. Oh Isn't he Irish? That's why he did. Oh, because he wants to say. He wants to say it.

We're going to listen. Obama was my boss for fucking 16 years. I'm going to say it once. I had to think it for two administrations in a row. Seeing Obama was my boss is really funny. Well, seeing Obama was my boss is really funny. It's just like, picture like he works at a construction company. Fuck. Obama was his fucking, I guess he was eight years, I don't know why I said, for a second, I was like, I guess the president has a term is eight years, but that's not right. It's four, but shout out to Joey B. Yeah dude, I've never, I've never, the idea of having like a family reunion in a fucking

in a shitty ballroom in a shitty hotel is like the conference room. Yeah, hell yeah. And it was like a weird, it was an off year for that. We usually would do like the park district, which would just be like a gym. Yeah. It was like folding tables, you know, master chowly, and then like pop. That's fucking sick. Are you the old, what do you wear you in the brother hierarchy?

And the youngest young gauge, though, the baby boy, you got brothers, right? I got two brothers, two, I got I'm the oldest, I have two twin brothers, their fraternal twins. Oh my god. But I'm the only fat one. So that doesn't really, I'm the only fat brother of an inverse for us. Yeah, yeah, yes, exactly. I'm the only fat one so that doesn't really I'm the only fat brother of an inverse for us. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Exactly because I'm the oldest fat is the one you're the youngest one. Yeah So what what is your parents do like what were they out what were they out in Chicago?

The dad was an elevator mechanic hell yeah, and my brothers are to oh fuck yeah, I'm the only one is that a good union job It's really good gig. Uh, cause- Anybody autistic in the fam? That's it. That's autistic guys dream. I love the Ireland. I really like met like a,

I'm like a other son autistic on each side. All of them. Yeah. There's a reason you guys are such good elevator mechanics. And there's one that was like really short. Mm-hmm. That didn't, that was just smile. And my cousin who's like would go

over each year yeah was like felt bad and she's like oh when you guys leave she won't stop talking about you she loves you guys yeah yeah yeah yeah didn't feel that way you didn't feel it's okay she doesn't have to yeah yeah they're all my brother Sean he's a fan of the show. Shout out to Sean. Sean O'Malley. Shout out to, oh dude. Fat elevator mechanic named Sean O'Malley. That's one of the, that's a king right there.

He's not fat anymore, he's come down. Oh shit, a traitor, fuck you Sean. I thought we had something special dude. You do abandon me. So the other ones fat though, we got one O'Malley brother, fat a shit or no. I mean, I feel like I'm in New York. I'm fat. Yeah, and LA. I'm like they they'll shoot me Oh for sure and LA you're only allowed to be fat if it's like you could be played

It's funny if on camera you falling down is a big laugh in a shitty movie We're like I feel like in Ohio, I'm like the first sexiest guy in all time. And like, same thing in Chicago too. Oh, and dude, I love Chicago for that reason. Yeah. Because it's just, it's the Fat Man's paradise. Like, like, the idea that you go into a thrift store and I was like, people were as fat as me.

30 years ago in the city. It is like, yeah, just fat guy city. It's fucking awesome. You've been in Milwaukee? Yeah, I love Milwaukee. I feel like Milwaukee is even more. I love Milwaukee. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she got those enough because it's like, it's, it is like, it's kind of just like the fat in New York, right? Because it's still the big, it's still big city. It's very metropolitan, whatever. But Milwaukee's just, you take, you take all that, you take the museums. You have a Butterburger there? The Butterburgr.

I have not had the Butterburgr. Salleys, go down to Salleys, have the Butterburgr. We're there this year, we're there, we're there later a couple months. They put a half stick of butter on a cheeseburger. Just on it. And it's disgusting. That's crazy that something is too fat

for me theoretically. I hear that. You will be showing something. You will be challenged in Milwaukee. Wow, dude. They go so hard. Wow, that's the fat crucible right there. I also feel like Chicago,

like I feel like everywhere in the Midwest has like a dish that was designed for people to eat, like once in the morning, and then they go into a factory for 12 hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't stop. You do not stop. people to eat like once in the morning and then they go into a factory for 12 hours. You don't stop. You do not stop. Here's like a 1500 to 2000 calorie meal in one city.

Yes, yes, yes. It's full of fat. It's dense as fuck. Rust belt happened, deindustrialization happened. Now it's like this sandwiches are identity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is our industry. We have to like push this forward

or like beef cured like salami sandwich. Yeah, yeah, this is our industry. We have to like push this forward or like beef cured like salami sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's microwave with cheese on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like she's gonna be like, hollow out a baguette. Put as many sausages as we'll fit in there. Hollow out with your penis.

Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, I mean like Greek fisherman would eat, like for breakfast we just have a little bread and a little fish and a glass of olive oil as like stay out all day because the fat keeps you and like imagine trying to like. But I feel like Mediterranean food is like so good for you. Yeah, it's like, it's good, I was on vacation and we were going

fucking crazy, right? Like we were just like not watching, and I somehow like was in better shape than just my regular life. Because it's just like, you know, Greek salads, little fried, yeah, little fried squid, little fucking little grilled, everything's grilled. You know, it tastes great. It's incredible, dude. And it's not deep grill, everything's grilled. You know what tastes great.

It's incredible, dude. And it's not deep fried. It's like, if anything's fried, it's like shallow fried and like some olive oil that's just, that's fresh. It's not like, you know, that shit you have wings. Shit that gets like wings get cooked in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

God knows how long that oil's been fucking out and about, dude. That's what's also about Chinese food oil. You're like, this is like 12 different meats. It's really good. In these chicken wings, those taste fucking awesome. Have you ever hit this zone of fatness where like, like I just can't not have fries.

Like, oh yeah. Or like, I can't drink water, it's boring. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, absolutely. You've desensit, it's like watching too much porn. If you fully desensitized, you're like, I can't drink water, it's boring. Yeah, yeah, dude, absolutely. You've desensitized, it's like watching too much porn. If you fully desensitized, you're like, 100%, you have to watch somebody, there's a gun, it's like a woman's mouth. Yeah, you have to watch like,

the guy cut his dick off and is fucking her with it. You're like, yeah, now we're talking. Yeah, just get up in the morning, dude. Yeah, like truly, I was just drinking, I was drinking, and the best part is Dijada is a fat thing because it's like classic Trump tweet yeah never seen a thin person ordered that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he's the man he's he's got a couple bangers and then also the other

tweet about how bad diet coke is he's like but that's okay I'll keep drinking their garbage. That's a great tweet too. Yeah, like putting it off. I like the, you, this is your fault. Yeah, but I would fucking crop, you know, we're still trying to get the A&W zero sugar root beer sponsorship. Please.

Sorry to, I apologize to bring that doctor pepper into this. I'm just gonna show them what they could have. This could be you. But I would fucking, yeah, I was just crushing that or like crystal light is another fat guy hack of like, oh yeah, I'm getting hydrated. Yeah, it's dying water. You were the first, yeah there you go.

Yeah, yeah. You were the first water. Oh dude, fries have to come with everything. Here's the real fat guy move. It's like when you've transcended even fries and you're like, chicken tenders will be my fries. They are fried and in your head and my head I'm like, well, okay, they're both fried, right?

So that's a wash. White meat chicken. Protein, protein. It's good for you. It's good for you. Potatoes, carbs, starch, fat. Yeah. So I'm actually doing it.

And then it's also awesome, because then you're like, well, I mean, the burger does come with fries. I can't. No, I'm not gonna ask them not to put it there. It's actually fucking with inflation to not have the fries, like the economy basically. Dude, it's so fucked up.

I'm actually on one right now. I'm in the throes of something dangerous. I'm gonna take it. oh, dude, yeah. Because you go out, I go from vacation to, you know, my best friend got married, dude. You have to, I'm kidding. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I the way. I didn't even tell you this. I don't know. I'm in the Uber. I'm in the Uber. I'm in Uber. I'm in Uber. Uber eats in McDonald's. I'm not kidding. The guy parked his fucking bike. I grabbed it. Thank you very much. Happy as I have to go upstairs. Everyone's a winner. This is

perfect. And I had to do it because it was old. This is wedding your job creator. Yeah I got a little too high and I was like I'm getting tired What time did I leave I left you left like two thirty eight thirty. Yeah, me and I ain't going to McDonald's as a teenager Great stuff you you must have been a just a you must have been causing some fat ruckus over there, right? Because then you also get sober, young too? Uh, yeah. I don't know, yeah. Were you doing anything?

Were you just getting drunk and fucking around? Getting drunk by myself in the basement, McDonald's. No fun, you know. No fun getting too fucked up in Chicago stories or you were just sad. It was all pathetic. I'm just saying, I'm gonna get high, play GTA 5 by myself. Go eat meatballs, go down to the basement, have some beers. I remember just like taking five vikin' and watching Star Wars by myself.

That sounds like a fake loaned in. He went so fucked up, that sounds awesome. Pills are so, so good. They're the best. They're the, and like... It's, yes, science has hacked our brains to feel awesome. And I got a right before the opioid. That's nice dude.

So like, Indiana Jones sliding. Basically sliding under, but like, I feel like if I stuck around, because it was just so much, like in high school, it was just so much easier to like, yeah. You could, yeah, get $30 in those mid-weed ever. Yeah.

Or you could have five incredible pills. You could make you feel perfect. But I do feel like you're right. It was still just a little hard to get them when we were younger. Just, it was like, oh six, it was like flooded. Yeah, or I remember I went to visit my friend who was like in, you know, my college friend

who was like rural Maryland where they didn't have shit to do. Those motherfuckers, that's where pills got there first. Like these commuters were nothing, the fuck nothing was going on. Dude, these kids had so many, we got so insanely fucked up. They were like crushing oxys on blunts. And we were just smoking them.

Oh, so awesome. Then you take one, I just wake up 12 hours later, I'm like, oh, oh, oh, where the fuck am? Literally not, don't know where the fuck I am. They're so good. Shout out to my boy, I won't say his name, but. That would be an awesome thing.

My college roommate. Everybody's parents were on them. So it's just like you steal them from your parents. Yeah. Cause the healthcare system was like, yeah, I guess we'll just give you a bottle of hot cotton. Yeah, I guess that's some immigrant shit where I never really, my parents never had pills.

Really? I think my dad was scared to go to the doctor. They were pretty much scared to go to the doctor. My parents will just, they have so many expired antibiotics. And they'll just like take them. I feel a little fucked up today. I'm gonna take like five antibiotics. Yeah.

And just like see what happens. They love pills. Pills are so good. Yeah. And just like see what happens. They love pills. Pills are so good. Yeah. Pills are magical. You never, you were never getting into pills where you old is. Not too much. I remember crushing some percus that in a weed bowl with you when you came to Brooklyn

early on. That was fucking sick. That was fucking awesome. That was really good. We were, yeah, elders, elders had a little fucking, he lived in the basement in Bedstide, and we fucking, we crushed some pills up, we watched a documentary about Nancy Carrigan, and Tanya Harding had ourselves a nice, what do we have to eat that day, do you remember? We had a nice, we had something.

I don't remember. Were my brothers there, too? No. Someone else was there. I wonder if, was it Pete? I don't know I think it might have been one of my memories. Remembering what you ate is really funny It's fucking awesome

My dad because he eventually became like a city inspector So he would like go all around the city inspecting elevators And he like and anytime my mom it was very rare whenever my mom my mom will like go visit my uncle in Florida Every once in a while, and then my dad, like he didn't know how to cook. So he was like, oh, I forgot where he'd take you guys out. And he knew all these greasy spoons and diners, and he would just like rotate us through him.

And it was kind of like, you know, we were like fat. And like this awesome. But I remember we went to this one place, it was a foster in Damon, and my dad, was like, he's guys like this place. It was just like a burger place. And we went and my dad was like, you guys like this place, it's just like a burger place. And we went and we ordered our food and we're waiting for it. And then we see that me and my brother see this like,

kind of fact I walk in and he's like, yeah, let me get two hot dogs, double cheese burger, I get pizza puff fries, and he's got this like insanely long burger and me and my brother are just listening. And then he goes, and then can I get a piece of cheese while I wait? And they're like, yeah, they knew him.

And like, yeah, I'm sure they gave him a piece of cheese. And me and my brother, like, that's so cool. That's like such, I'm gonna do that when I move out. When I'm single, I'm gonna do that. When I'm an adult. When I'm an adult. I'm gonna ask for waiting cheese. Dude, that's insane.

The way you calm down like a nervous dog. I need to trick them in eating those. It's like the cheese. I mean the little cheese. Man, that's awesome. I really do love fat people so much, dude. There is something about it where you just... It's like forced to be humble.

It's, well it's like cute that guy's like, he's fat as shit but it's like, he wants his treats so bad. You gotta have your, it's so, it is kind of people where there is like, somebody's like a sex addict or something kind of like dark about it. Yeah, yeah.

Or like pills or drinking, there's like, but like food is just like fun. Totally. Oh dude, if I was doing the drugs the way, if I was on one with drugs, the way I've been on one with food, I'm dead nine months ago. You know, this is a very, that looks,

saves your comments, YouTube. Oh, nine months ago, maybe two in two months, you'll be dead. I'm gonna make it, you fucking pricks. But, I'm gonna make it to the end of the year. Yeah, I'm making it to 35 and then we'll see. That's the goal I've set for myself. But it's just like, and in that moment, dude, that guy,

like there's shame in it, of course. But if you can get cover from the shame, in that moment, it's pure bliss and such a nice, because it's a happiness. You're right. A sex addict, it's like there's something fucking weird about that. It's like sex is, it is. We opened it up. You shouldn't piss right out of those holes. And there's something adult and weird about it and dark and it can go really wrong. And then- You get a disease and die. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then people can, you know, obviously do real bad versions of it.

But like, and then drug same thing. But it's like food is like, it's the same joy. You have to eat too. You have to eat, but it's the same joy a baby gets when they eat a fucking lollipop. It's the same joy a fucking- A baby eating a lollipop. Or, you know, a little piece of candy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, dude, those pictures or a video, a TikTok will go viral where it's like, baby eats ice cream for the first time. Oh yeah, and like, and it's eyes go like, ah! And the baby's like,

I'll kill my family for more ice cream. It's like, it is pure and it's like, I just love, and like that guy, it in his order, and he's in a safe place. There's no one thin in there to make fun of him. There's only fat or teenagers being like respect. We love him. Like that, I love that guy,

I love that moment for that guy. And yes, is that moment wrecking his life? Is he fat as shit as a result? Maybe, but in that moment, man. The only piece of media that ever quite got this right was Spranos. Absolutely. Feel like they...

Absolutely. And also, if you watch Spranos, everybody, every character, every scene, every season, full bites. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Full bites, full tune. Yes, yes, yes. And like you can see, like, yeah, yeah. Full bites, full chewing. Yes, yes, yes. And like you can see like Gandalfini is kind of,

you see him start moving his fork around more before he takes bites. Yeah, yeah. And it's clear that there was like a directive of like, you have to eat food onto, like you can't, like every other show where people are not eating, like every time. They're pretending they're dipping and they're like,

they're about to eat and they're like, you know, whatever. No, the soprano is there. It is, you're absolutely right. Pinyate de pizza, that's in. Yes. Incredible. I mean, dude, when they're, when they're, uh,

That is the fat ethos. If that, if there was a flag for fat, it would be Tony going back to pick up the pizza after getting into a fight with Carmella. And all the like, you're so right, because all of the like, this man has the war, you know, he's worried about dying. He's got, he's executing people. He's worried about the feds. And at the end of the day, dude, he just needs fun. I mean, prosciutto and it's so,

it is the best fat show without question. I mean, think about how many fat characters there were. So many fat characters, fat representations, huge moment for that. But just like, I would say that there's no other, piece of media, no other movie, no other TV show that shows people how they actually eat. Yeah. And even like in the last episode, spoiler, when like at Bobby Vachlavovs funeral,

when everybody's like going nuts over to the food. Yeah. Yeah. And just like that's all they're talking about. Yeah. Is like totally incredible. And even, I mean, one of the biggest moments in the super, like an emotional beef for Bacala is like when they eat Karen's last ziti. Incredible. His whole entire wife's being is in that ziti. And the finally, it is the symbol of being ready to move on when you can eat her ziti. And not only that, but it's like you ingest it.

Like you're eating your wife basically. You when your children are cannibalizing your wife and making room for their stepmother and your next wife, fucking beautiful, you're right. We gotta write an essay, dude. We gotta co-author an essay about how some pranos is the fattest show of all time. Fattest of all time.

Yeah, there's no other, everything else. And the other thing is, Gandalfini was like a sex symbol back of the day, dude Like people wanted to fuck him. I think that's yeah, I think it's a little bit I mean he's a big guy, too. It's like six five six four whatever. Yeah, he held it good also like breathing the show is that breathing the show is the Gandalfini knows whistle breathing When I got that's what I'm, I have to go to the doctor. When you're just watching TV,

like, who's, oh, it's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you sleep, Epna? I do. Do you get the machine? I got the machine. You got it.

No. You don't, you don't got it, you do got it. I, I, I fatrated, I classed out right before I got out. Good for you, man. Have you tested to see if you have it? Sleep, Epna? Yeah. I don't have any of the like symptoms Like tiredness or anything like that. I can't go to sleep ever interesting. I stay up till like three or four every night if I could Damn every night and you only need like what four hour you only sleep like no, I mean I'm sleep. Oh, okay

Okay, you just have a bad sleep schedule. Yeah, that's fine. I'll just of you. How's the breathing dude dude? Are you still almost dying? Because whenever I'm in a room with Eldis, he'll be like, you know, and then I'll be like, dude, you have sleep at me. He's like, no, I don't. Eldis can't admit how, I mean, you're not as fat as you used to be, but you can't admit that you might have some fat diseases, even though you're looking better these days. I'm not as fat as they used to be like two weeks ago. Yeah. I am like close to the fatest I've ever been right now. But I don't know. In my mind, like I just don't snore.

Oh, you snore. In my mind, I'm just staying, my sleep. I like kind of breathe a little heavy through my nose but nothing crazy. That's a symptom of not being realistic with who you are. Elders does think he's a little much sexier than he is. I mean, you know, Elders has done fine for himself, but in his mind, he's like 40 pounds lighter.

He's got the Gandalfini swag. I mean, I think that's what Gandalfini had too, was he was 40 pounds lighter in his head. Yeah, interesting. I gotta start dressing like Tony. Yeah, you did a guy at Barrett or Jacket. Yeah, yeah. Those fucking golf shirts or whatever.

You could do that. You could easily do that. We're thinking of, yeah, we're thinking, because, oh, this is my, you know, he's on the road, he's my road manager too. So we got to get him like road manager outfits. I think a cowboy hat, a colonel. Yeah. I think he needs a second.

Well, like what's the Albanian version of that? They don't got shit. You know what'd be good, like some kind of like weird esoteric military dress uniform. Like, we were like, search, uh, what is it? Like if you like, uh, you guess there's like a Rhode Island state trooper or something. Oh, okay. Like Boston state trooper. Now should he dress it down or should he have, like, isn't that, isn't that me, myself

and Irene, Rhode Island State Trooper? Yeah. I just watched that recently, so fucking, like that, like, interesting. We're search Spanish, what is it, foreign Legion? Oh, yeah, Spanish for, I didn't even know they had one, I know they got the French for it.

Foreign Legion uniform. Yeah. It's like really, those guys are fucking pieces. I mean that looks like gay porn to be honest Well, they have like their own like ceremonial go to wow Wow, yeah, that's a good look at all this yeah, look up the Albanian look up Albanian military uniform I'd love to see what it is. It's probably just like, it's just like, should they bother to serve plus store? It's probably just the most basic camera you've ever seen. Yeah, or like, Hollali custom.

Literally, it doesn't. It's research dress uniform. Yeah, what are the. What are the. Yeah, let's see what the officers are looking like. Whoa, that guy with the cape? Uniforms of Albania's honorary guards. I mean, this guy with the guy with the cape.

That's pretty sick. That's the Republican guard. None of them are the same. They change it every time. Anyway, whatever. Fuck you, Eldis. Some kernel type shit. We do need a little, we do need,

we do need some brother. I kept joking with stuff and like, we were just on the West Coast for two and a half weeks, leading up to this special. Here's just so run ragged, I was like, you could do what you want. You can get your fuck on you, whatever you want. As long as we get you up on stage and awesome.

I did, I was really fucking losing my mind there for a while. I was getting, I was acting out a little bit. I'm like, I'll talk to the venue. He'll be there. Don't worry. Start the show. Put JP on. He will be there.

Any later, we go into overtime. Forget about it. He'll be there. Any later, we go into overtime, forget about it, he'll be there. I was thinking about you and I feel like, um, because you're, you're sex guy, you like sex guy. I am a sex guy. Yeah. And I think what protects you. Yeah. Is that you're a tit guy. And I feel that interest exhibit a, what I'm going to do, and not that I'm saying that there's any accusations your As far as I know of this recording of this podcast

Because vulture would not have put One of the key me and should know but Like Seinfeld and he's dating high school kids. Yeah. I think the reason it never stuck is because she had huge tits. Mm-hmm. And like that's like an adult thing. Right. Visually looks.

You're right. There's no, it's not Lolita, yes. Yeah, we're like Woody Allen. It's like that's, yeah. We'll see what you're trying to do. Right, right, right. You're not getting this past us. Yeah.

That's a good point. Big, right, right. You're not getting this past us. Yeah, you're a good point. Big tits, everyone's like, and there's something about big tits, guys that like big tits, it's like so sweet. Thank you. It's a eternal. It's a eternal love. I love my mom so much.

I want to suck on big tits. Which, that's kind of the reason. Because you're not like, come on, it's like, I want to suck on them. Yeah. Yeah. It's silly. It's like, mama, mama, mama, mama It's like, I want a second. Yeah. It's silly. It's like, it's silly. There's a silliness to it.

It's fun. There's a playfulness. There's a playfulness. I think that's my overall vibe. It's like, yeah, come on. I'm not like that. I'm not like that. Yeah, we're out there.

I'm getting sucked off, but it's a good time. It feels... Big titties feel like a fat guy thing, too. Big titties are like a big, juicy, awesome, like, giant burger. I feel like fat guys are probably like more into big ass titties than the big ass. That's interesting, yeah.

And don't get me wrong, ladies. I do love a big ass as well, but. I mean, it's generally 50, 50 for everybody. I am tits first and forth, but if you really put a gun in my head, and I could only have one, I am picking tits. But, you know, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna That doesn't mean every once in a while. I don't want a Flip flop mm-hmm. I love a nice big gas and I give it some little t

Oh, and that's a common misconception about tic-eyes. I like titties of all shapes and sizes. Yes. I will take a little titty the you know, but you know, but yes, I will take, I won't send it back. I'm not sending it back to the chef, I'm absolutely not. I will eat it with the rice. I'll put them on my mouth, the smile on my face. I love the chicken finger french fries, it's true. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that is true. Big ass big titty's is like, that's the chicken finger fries. It's like I'm getting gluttonous. I want them both. I need a nice thick meal. This room has a little bit, I mean, doesn't this have a little bit of a vibe to you of like, you're over at your friends?

Like this is a place you go in high school. A hundred percent. That's, thank you for saying that. Thank you for smoking. Thank you for saying that. That's the vibe we wanted to podcast. Is you're just hanging out. No one gives a phone.

My mom's in the other room. She doesn't care if we smoke cigarettes and we can. She'll bring Tostino's pizza rolls in. Any minute now. I have a VHS copy of kids. We can watch. Be up, be up, be up. We can't do this.

There's a fucking couple playboys. There's a fucking bond. There's a bond right to go. Shout out to our good friends at FreezePipe. That's just free advertising folks. You can thank Connor for that So weed every day give me on the wheel of a car driving to the White House That's and if we wanted to kind of do one thing It's like and we insist you do some kind of terrorism towards the White House. You have to

Do you remember that guy that set himself on fire in front of the White House in like 2017? I do remember that. I get the USA shirt. Yeah. And no one gave a fuck whatsoever. Nobody cared. And I remember hearing about it and going to Twitter

to see it and I had to watch an ad for like Quibi before I saw the video. I remember being like, this is the most dystopic. Yeah. Yeah. I know I do remember hearing about that and being like whoa This is kind of something might and then no one get me. No, it's so many people at stuff themselves on fire Dude so many people do so I do and it's like for attention the shit the cow crazy

It should have to get to make the news is wild like my there was a There was a guy who just a student in a Baltimore public high school. I have a friend who works at a high school. He just had a gun and just fired off into the quad. But didn't fire at anyone. And it barely made the local news. This is a high school. This is like, this just happened.

This isn't like when I was in high school. A friend of mine is a teacher, some kid just, rrrr, rrr, rrr, in the quad. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Didn't even make the local news. Let alone the fuck it, like, there's some kid out of gun. No one gives a fuck. It's a bed, like bed and a road bed school.

It's not a real, not, I mean, it's not great, but it's not like the worst. It was like, I feel like it's gotta be like a private school for like, it to get attention. It's gotta be Columbine, like a school at Columbine's level. Maybe, but it's crazy, a kid fucking shot a gun, and no one really, it wasn't even like that big a deal. Like, no one got a day off.

Like, there was no school, like colleges that came in. It was just like, I was just kind of fucking weird. Mm, whatever. Yeah, that's fine, right? But anyway, listen, Connor, we need some of your expertise, man. We need you to help these people. I know a lot about entourage. And we should also say, by the way, go check out,

you have a hilarious, like a short film, what would you call it? Yeah, we're doing paywall content in the most confusing way possible It is really hard to get you got a website called endorphinport.com for five dollars Buy a short film 24 minutes long call the mass that I made it's really funny, but I mean being fake weird on the street It's fun. I tried to rewatch it and it was like, uh, you got to send us your email address again and we'll re-email you a link and it just wouldn't work. So you know, you got a couple of technical things. So listen, watch it when you buy it.

Watch it the moment you buy it. Yeah. Uh, but it is funny as shit and we didn't even say, you know, you probably know Conner from a bunch of fucking shit. We didn't even talk about the very beginning of, like your mysterious vines, where I was like, who is this guy? That was fucking awesome.

It goes all the way back to Vine. I mean, obviously you've probably seen it. Obama administration. He was in the Obama administration, him and Cal Penn were co-speech writers. Mm-hmm. They were. And yeah, and I think you should leave obviously people know you from that shit a ton of fucking awesome shit

and all your online videos. I do, we'll go into the stuff first, but I do wanna say even though you're probably tired talking about it because it was so long ago, there was really something also about those like, like how crazy and like, you had no idea who you were on those lines. And like, wild shit you would do where it's like, you know,

my favorite one, one of the best ones is like, you just have a, you're in a lawn mower, you have a gun. And it pulls up and you point it at the top. That was like, I just remember being like, what the fuck is going on here? They were so... I mean, such good shit.

To stay tuned, you have to watch the master find out. You have to watch the master find out. Anyway, you want... Just DM me, I'll send you the master. Yeah. I already bought it once, but said it to you. I'm saying it. Oh, did I?

I'm not fucking care, whatever. I'm a bad business man That is fucking so fucking fight DM Conner. He'll send you the shit for free fuck him He doesn't need the money. He's good He's still he's got that he's got he comes from a long line of elevator mechanics Yeah, we got all right. This guy's got thup christian money Tyson to this and crump this in crump sorry i took a shot uh...

uh... uh... so anyway uh... go get go watch that shit and uh... now let's let's fucking let's answer some of these motherfuckers questions eldest hit us with one babe hey stovie what's up it's your boy brie what's up elders um... hello brie

hey so i have this conundrum, man. Uh, I work out at gas station right, and it's over at a family rate. And everything's nice. Everything's chill. For the most part, but like the owner, the lady who always has a store, she keeps like, you know, touching me on my arm and feeling my arm off of the shit. And like, I have a partner instead, and I don't want to make it weird because it's a whole family affair kind of thing.

So my question is, I'll do I bring it up to my supervisor, which is the lady's son, that I'm kind of uncomfortable with this. Or should I just tell the owner upright? I just don't wanna make it weird, that's all. Thanks, she had to hit the drone and I'll tell you baby. Bye bye.

Thanks man, I'm actually at the lyric, but I hope you bought tickets to see me at the lyric and not probably like the Lion King at the hip of drone or something like that. This is awesome. So this guy's getting sexually harassed at this gas station job. I mean we need more details. What is the ethnicity of these people? Yeah. Gotta be, you know, you'd think Indian or Korean or something like that. Foreign for sure, I feel like. Yeah. Or I guess, you know what, I guess this could theoretically

be a redneck family. Mr. Triut was Brie. His name is Brie. Where's the hippo drum? Hippo drums in Baltimore. Okay, so it's East Coast. East Coast. So he's like, he works to the gas station,

loves it, no problem with what. He's like, he doesn't have an issue with the gas station. Yeah. She keeps like touching my arm and feeling my arm and shit like that. I'm trying to think what is the most on the spectrum way to deal with this? Like if you were the most alpha way to deal with this.

Not alpha, but just like, don't feel like this. Spectrum is alpha. That is, yeah. Yeah. Please don't touch me, it makes me feel uncomfortable. That's the alpha way to do it. That's the way to do it. Just walk straight up to her and a straight line.

Put your hand on her forehead and say that. I'm gonna go with that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you might have to freak out. You might have to start screeching and covering your ears. But you work for a fucking mom and pop gas station, buddy. This is where you get, this is the kind of job you get sexually harassed at. This also doesn't feel like,

okay, let's go to the bathroom and fuck vibes. Yeah. It just feels like what? She's a little too familiar. She, I mean, she's making them uncomfortable. In any other place, you could complain somewhere, but they own the company and it's like, let's say you complain.

What's the complaint? Hey, I think your mom kind of wants to fuck me. Yeah. And you think the guy's gonna be like, oh, sure, your mom kind of wants to fuck me. Yeah. And you think the guy's gonna be like, oh, sure, let me go talk to her about it. And also, you're for sure taking skittles and shit. Yeah. There's no way you're like...

Right. And if you're not, you should start stealing. Yeah. Because that's the thing about a place like this. There's pros and cons. Con, you're getting mildly sexually harassed. Pro, you get a Reese's fast break whenever the fuck you want. And you could probably like, no, call no show,

like four weeks in a row. And you'd be like, whatever. Yeah, here. Yeah, yeah, Brian, I hate to break it to you, man. This is not, you know, there's no HR here. The solution is, start fucking grinding, dude. Get up early, start, you know, meditating, doing yoga, working out.

Cold plunge. Cold plunge. Cold plunge, do a cold plunge. Do a cold plunge. Get ready for your gas station job. Take a turkey-based or full cold water, show it up your ass. Right up your whole. Internal cold plunge. They're not doing that.

That's, and then start doing drop shipping on the computer. You're going to lose money. And then you'll be owning gas stations where you'll be able to touch people. Dude drop shipping, yep. Dude drop shipping, get a rental property. And start renting that out by gas station, pull your penis out to your employees.

Yeah, I can't think of like, oh, this is a woke gas station owner. No. Like, that doesn't exist. It's a different world. I know. That's what I'm saying is like, what are you, Brian? I'm sorry, dude, but it's like you It's a different world. I know. That's what I'm saying is like, what are you, Brian?

I'm sorry, dude, but it's like you worked at a gas station. Like, it's not. Get a different job. There's no way, there's no way the pay is good. It smells like gas all fucking day. Like, come on, dude. The answer is either just accept it and start stealing or get a better job.

Yeah. that's it That's fucking hilarious. I'm there. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No, I don't think so. I think I'm too dumb. I think I have to have and it's taking me like four years later to be like oh They're coming under me, but elders. I don't think so For me it's only been like gay guys who are like, all right man, chill out. I will have like, because I have big calves. I will have like the weirdest men come up to me and talk to me about my legs.

And I've never had a woman once be like, I wanna suck your leg. Dude, that's a great point, because you know, I'm on team big calf as well. Yeah, yeah. And it is always like, that's not sexual, but it's like bodybuilder guys who are jealous. They have big cats.

They're also like always fat too. It's like a unhealthy man. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause the catfish and the secret is you're just a fat to show your whole life. Yeah, you just basically carry around a weighted vest for the first 20 years. But that's also not true,

cause I know fat guys that don't have great calves. We got something else going for it. And I was, we, me and my family went to like 20 members of my family went to a Cubs game, and a lot of them aren't fat, and they got like little ape calves, like, a caveman calves. It rhymes. It just runs, we're supposed to be moving potatoes and that.

Up the cliffs. You're supposed to be using those calves. We're supposed to be frontline soldiers, like, non-stop. We're're supposed to be using those calves. We're supposed to be frontline soldiers. Non-stop. We're not supposed to be here. All right, what else we got? Hey, Todd. So I just been having trouble. I am 24 and I've recently lost all my hair, both I've received in Caroline. And the only thing is I just have a problem with my coffin.

I don't mind not wearing a hat at work, so I can't wear a hat at work at work in hospital. So I don't have that problem. I have cool pictures of me bald, but whenever I get around my friends, I just have to have a head on. I don't know why, I don't know. I'm scared of being, I don't know, ostriches.

Just being like the only 20 something year old that's bold, but no hair. It's just like killing me. I know the way you've been rocking your due. You're just gonna give a fuck. I just need some pointers on how not to give a fuck and just be beautiful in my own sense. But thank you, Scott, thank you all this.

Have a great day and thank you to the guests. Yeah, man, well, I got news for you. Nobody's fallen for the hat. The hat thing. No one's like, is this guy not bald? No one, like the thing is you look, this is gonna be harsh, but you need to hear this, you look stupid, beanie inside summertime. Do you say beanie?

He said hat, but you know, I'm sure it's a good one. I'm sure it's a good one. Everybody's wearing baseball hats now. Yeah, you're saying Brooklyn. So you say, beanie? He said hat. But I'm sure it's a good one. I'm sure it's a good one. But I'm sure it's a good one. But I'm sure it's a good one. I'm sure it's a good one. Everybody's wearing baseball hats now. Yeah, you. You're saying Brooklyn.

If, look, if the hat is part of your outfit, that's one thing. You can access rice, but you just don't want it to feel like you're hiding anything. And he already said like, you know, he doesn't wear hat at work, whatever. I just see it. Can't wear a hat at the hospital. What is that? I worked at a hospital. Did you wear a hat? I don't, actually, I don't remember where. I don't think I don't think you wear a had at the hospital. What is that? I worked at a hospital. Did you wear a hat?

I don't, I actually don't remember where, I don't think I wear a hat. I don't think you wear a hat at the hospital. Feels weird. That would be where the doctor comes in with. It was like a Bruins hat. Or like even when there's a little stupid hat caps. Like, remember the bike guys would wear it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want a doctor in head wear. They wear those little hospital hats, or is that like certain things? That's the key. That feels very so good. Yeah. I think it's like a little,

I think it's a little like, keep the hair out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can't be wearing no hat. So the, yeah, hospital would be a perfect place for hair, or for hat. Well, I don't think it is. I think maybe bandana at best. Okay.

We'll do a bandana, that'd be. Here's my feeling is, you're so like whenever I see a guy and he's like dressed nicely but he's wearing a hat it's like we know you're fucking bold you're not you're only in a weird way you are only drawing attention. Now like you said a lot of people you know in a casual outfit definitely a hat is possible you know you go out in a night you're wearing some fucking jeans Whatever like as long as it makes sense with the outfit. That's one thing, but there's nothing Like it's just screams insecurity to me when you see someone in like a button down shirt Mm-hmm, and they are wearing like not a baseball cap

But like they're trying to be like cool with it and they're like, you know, like a skull cap or like one of those little caps or like a, or a fucking beanie. It's like, bro, you should not be wearing a beanie with a suit. We know, no one is fucking, no one, you're not tricking anyone. And I would say you're only drawing more attention to it.

I would, my, here's what I would just do, bro. This is your life now. I started going kind of bald in college and I was, I had a bald spot forming and I was like buzz cut before it gets crazy. Sure, you heard bald first. So I'm the buzz cut guy, right? Yeah, and so, and that's fine.

You can be the buzz cut. And I knew you and I never was like, oh, bald stop. Right, right, oh bald stop. Right, right, right, right, right. I know, I don't lead with bald. You just cut your hair, keep your hair short as you need it to be. Literally nobody gives a, dude, listen to me,

shut the fuck up, nobody gives a fuck. No one gives a single fuck. But it's hard because it's like, eh, well. And he's 24, that's tough, but that's about when I shaved, I went shaved. The thing is you need to, again, grinds that. You need to start waking up 3 a minimum. You have to start doing exercises that give you severe injuries

and your shoulders and knees. You have to work through it. You have to really, really disfigure yourself. So that is what people notice before your hair. And they're like, well, at least you got some hair. But like, yeah, I don't know, did you ever feel a pressure to do, like, go to Turkey, get the surgery? No, I did.

It was like, for me, it was like, all right, fuck it, I'm like, for me, it was like, it's being realistic with yourself. Same thing with like fat guys too, where it's like, a fat guy that's always trying to squeeze into a shirt that's one size too small. Yeah. It's like, no one sees, where it's like a fat guy that's always trying to squeeze into a shirt that's one size too small. Yeah. It's like no one sees, no one's like, oh, he technically fits into an XL. So he's not fat.

Like no one's going to see your hat and be like, well, he's wearing a hat, he must not be, but I don't know for sure he's not bald. So once it happened, once I was like, now it was hard to come to grips with it. It was. Yeah. Like I didn't, and I was in college when I was like, now it was hard to come to grips with it. It was. It's like, I didn't. It's like, when you're 20. And I was in college when I was like, but I had to just, I had to be realistic with myself.

And not being realistic, you're not gaining anything. You know what I mean? Like, you just have to see, you have to, it's gonna hurt, you're gonna have to see yourself the way other people see you. And you don't wanna do that, cause you live in a little fake world where you still have a little hair by certain angles.

You know what I mean? But you don't, you're bald, okay? Shave the shit. And here's the thing, start trying to get confidence other ways. You know what I mean? I- Get a gun.

Get a fucking gun, anybody looks at you. Somebody, a lot of guns. Anybody looks at you sideways. What the fuck was that? Yeah, start, move to a state, this open carry, open carry 24-7. That's awesome.

Oh, that's true. And, you know, looking to, you know, a lot of, FEMA, what are they doing with these, you know, what is FEMA doing? Looking at that stuff, all right? Start with a gun show. Yeah, give yourself a different identity. Waco, read about, you know, Ruby Ridge.

Discover these things. Yeah, the order, you know, figure out who they were things, you know, the order, you know, figure out who they were, what were they, what were they want? Get really into some fuck guns. Get into the fuck guns. To get into the fuck guns. And then there will be some woman who is like, wow, you have so many cool guns.

Yep. You marry her and then hopefully you haven't done a terrorist attack by then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hopefully she catches you right before you're about to do terrorism when you're T is in its highest. Yeah, yeah. And then you bust one nut and you're like, what was I up? I was gonna do terrorism with the fuck.

Everyone that was pushed into doing a terrorist attack by the FBI, they should have just nutted it. One nut and it's not happening. Man, I'm not doing that. Even the guys that did 9-11 were there at the SHIP club and shit, it's like if one shipper sucks those guys off, we still can fucking bring whatever we want in our own airplanes. You could still bring your pocket knife. If one of those shippers sucked, you know,

Al-Zar-Kawei or whatever the fuck the guy's name was off. I still, I do think there is a funny. The way there's like, the way they, you know, Tandino did in glorious bastards and it's like a, a, a, like a historic retelling of things going different. I want to do the 9-11 hijackers taking flight lessons and then getting pussy finally and being like we're not doing it. Because they seemed on the fence. Like it seemed like, or not on the fence, but it seemed like, definitely a couple of them were probably like,

we really doing this? We're really, I mean this is all fun and shit, but it seemed like definitely a couple of them were probably like, we really done this? We're really, I mean, this is all fun and shit, but come on. We were seeing titties back there. And then somebody was like, dude, we're gonna get, think of all those hores, 10 times hotter for a fucking blowing up,

crashing to the World Trade Center. So it's like, you know know there would be a really fun there's a really funny maybe that's what happened with the shanksville plane those guys got pussy on the plane and then the strong oh interesting yep let's just get sucked off

is that united ninety three that would be a really fun little uh... imagine if story. Those guys like, ah, we actually were good. We don't wanna do this fucking bullshit. And we're gonna snitch on, or not, sorry. I mean, I also say you didn't, you have swag. That's the thing, it's like, you gotta,

so yeah, you gotta, you gotta, if you're gonna get, go bald head, do other shit that like gives you confidence, right? So for me, that's when I was like, I got glasses, I was like, let's accessorize a little bit. Let's have a style, you know what I mean? Like even when I was broke, I kinda was like trying to dress a little nice.

Like when I'm out there, I would like, when I'm trying to like, you know, there were definitely times in my life where I'm fat as shit, I'm working off a shop, I'm so depressed, I have the worst clothes of all time. I'm just wearing khakis with an elastic waistband and like just the most van huesin came out of a box. Shirts you've ever seen in plaid shirts. Walking in the van huesin show. Yeah. Me and your elevator mechanic father probably dressed a lot of like.

Yeah. But when I was like when my self-esteem was back up, I was like, yeah, dude, you gotta do something that makes you feel good. That could just be working out. That could be, you know, maybe grow a little beat. A lot of guys go beard when they're bald, you know? Like, if you can't do it, like,

I don't have a great beard, I go fucking mustache, you know what I mean? Figure out what you can do to make yourself feel a little better. And that's it. But you gotta stop wearing hats where it doesn't make sense. You look stupid, I promise you that. It's hot as you're sweating and you got a beanie on people like, fucking weirdo.

What were you doing at the hospital and you work at the hospital? Patient transporter. Oh, hell yeah, dude. For a outsourced company. So you were just moving like old people and shit around or yeah Well, I did first day I had to move a dead body whole time I thought it was a prank

You're smiling or I was like second myself up cuz I'm like they're gonna jump out any minute and then I was like no No, just a dead body. This is what your job is. Yeah You're getting paid minimum wage for body. This is what your job is. Yeah. It's what you're getting paid minimum wage for. Minimum wage. Move dead bodies. Move dead bodies. Oh my God. Yeah, at least Moffy, you guys got a nice pretty penny to move with dead body. Yeah, you got a pinky ring head from a sex traffic Ukrainian

stripper. You know, cool stuff. All right, let's get a good look to our bald friend. Okay, Stovey. Hey, Eldest. Hey, guys. Love the pod. I have a weird problem at work. So I am a scientist at a small lab, and I think one of my colleagues took my lab notebook home for the weekend, snooped through it, and tried to put it back without me noticing, which of course I did. So about another two ago, I was put on to this project with this colleague who has been struggling with the FedPest like six months. Oh, that's one of the stories shit. And in the past few months, I've made a ton of progress. To the point where I'm pretty much fed to finish it up in the next week or two. But there's always been some tension with this dude.

Because while he's technically more experienced, he's like 10 years older than me. He used to be a professor. He's just pretty bad in the lab. So I share all my results and what I'm thinking for how to progress the project forward with him and my boss. But I get to decide that this guy expects me to be a lot more referential than him. As in, he'd like me to check in with him for every little detail, but that's not really how I work. And he's not really good at recognizing what's important.

And he's not my boss. So the actual event is that usually, I'll leave my notebook at my desk or something, but always in the same place. That notebook has details about my experience, and that's kind of it. I just like write everything down in it. When I got in on Monday, I couldn't find my notebook anywhere, and I felt like they're good amount of time looking for it. Eventually, it turns up in the place I always put it,

but viciously timed after the sky shows up to work. I don't really have that hard evidence. That's awesome to steal someone's shit and be like, I'll put it back when I get there. Like, not getting there, not getting there early. That's all. I kind of respect that guy for that move. Anyway, I'm not getting there. I'm not getting there early. I respect that guy for that move. Anyway, go keep going.

Those were almost. If he did actually do it, I'm pretty creeped out and annoyed. It seems like pretty micromanaging. I also needed my book. Not really sure what to do. Do I confront this guy? Do I like try to talk to him about it? Do I just leave it be?

It's like a weird thing, but like, not really, like, kind of that big of a deal. I just feel like, I don't know, I feel weird about it. Yeah, I'm pretty know, I feel weird about it. Yeah, for me. Help me out. All right, love y'all.

Bye. Interesting. I would, here's what I would do to see if he's stealing it. I would be like, I would put some shit in my notebook or switch it out and be like, oh, this guy fucking Charles is so hot, but only when he wears blue. I really want to fuck Charles when he's wearing a blue shirt He's so fucking hot. I don't know what it is and if this guy starts coming around and fucking teal polos He stole we're assuming he's straight that is true. That is true. I am assuming he's straight

I thought this show as people calling up me and I'm like, all right, I accidentally fucked my dog. I just think this is like somebody's cheating up at me and I can't prove it. I'm using a fuck. I bet you we got one of those coming up right after this one, Connor, don't you worry. This show is so abstract like my science ideas. I know, it's like she works,

she's working on a thing to like, up inventions. Pulverize civilians probably. Yeah. It's like she works. She's working on a thing to like up Inventions. Pulverize civilians probably. Yeah. There's no science gets funded in America anymore. She's like a hobgoblin spider man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a way to like completely, there's like a destruction ray she's working on for the Navy. And she's a scientist. Why isn't she poison this guy or something? So true. Come up with a concoction. Or, I don't know, I don't see the movie,

but he had his bike chain where if you went over a certain RPM, the bike chain would fall apart. Really? Yeah, so he didn't lock his bike up anywhere. He just knew that he had to ride a certain speed. So maybe there's something with like, booby trap your notebook, where it like sprays, like ink. Yeah, and ink thing would be awesome.

Yeah, absolutely. And that's like science. That's science, yeah. And you'd be like, I'm doing ink science. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. So, okay. She's working for Epstein and the guy stealing

her notebook is Fauci. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, are you waiting a second? Are you trying to get us to take more vaccines, bitch? Cause then I'm on his side. Yeah, I mean, this is so funny to be like, and everyone knows this vibe too, where it's like, your older coworker is some dumbass who didn't like, who just not, hasn't kept up, was like might have been good at something like 10 years ago, but doesn't have the juice anymore,

and they're just trying to like, just cling on for dear life. Yeah. I think you have to like, I think you have to, you do have to booby trap him somehow legit. I actually think you need a way, maybe it's not ink blowing up on a shit.

But like, can you get like a ring camera or something like that? A camera or like something where it's like, if your thing is moved, it makes a fucking noise. Like it's like, B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B go to the class trip to the state Capitol, they would like tape the doors. So if you left, they knew I didn't know that was that. I don't know. Does I heard they had you all in a room or something? Well, like there was an option in eighth grade. Like you go down a springfield state, see the state.

And I remember I was bad kid. What you do, man. I think I wore sure that said like bullshirt Bullshirt I'm gonna drink a fucking I'm gonna drink a Mickey's 40 and eat a Chalupa you fucking bitch You're gonna go eat and drink like a 45 year old man in the seventies fucking bitch. You're gonna go eat and drink like a 45 year old man in the 70s. I'm gonna have four microwave dinners. I'm gonna four back-to-back Salisbury steaks and some cores and some fucking Miller Highlife. Watch

site filled reruns on UPN. Call it a night. This is so beyond like I don't know I wouldn't I she should just like I would I okay Yeah, I mean none of us real I mean I'll just had kind of a real job the he's the one who's had a real job though I've never had a job where this is like oh a notebook is important. Yeah Yeah, I've only had jobs or it's like you have to be here make sure the door is closed Move this corpse. Yeah. Straighten these cords out. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I would, I literally, I'm not kidding, I actually would. You have, you, you're suspicious, but you have no proof, right? So I would make sure that he actually is taking your shit, whether that's hidden camera or whether that's some kind of funny booby trap, and then you can confront him honestly. But it doesn't seem like, it also seems like,

he's not stealing her shit to get ahead. He's stealing it to like pretend he's her boss and check up on her is what it seems like. Like it doesn't feel like, it doesn't, yeah. I mean, fuck this guy, if he's not your boss, he can suck your dick and I would just make sure he's not fucking, clearly if he took your shit, he's not the kind of guy that a conversation

is gonna like clear thing. He's not gonna be like, oh yeah, my bad, I'm sorry. He might be like, whatever, I don't know, I thought it was for all of us. Yeah, yeah. Or I would have a bootleg, I would also have like a, nah, but this is too involved, to have a fake journal where you write wrong things.

I would try that. That could be fun. All right, duplicate your current journal and the newest pages make them fake. Make it that fake. Like a Patrick Bateman journal, like at the end of American Psych. Yeah, yeah.

Put that out, see what I mean. Oh yeah. But yeah, good luck. I mean, you know, this guy seems like a fucking dickhead. But, you know, fuck him and I say catch him in a joke game. And I get out of the air and code's right. We're not now.

You know that air and code? No, I was trying to figure it out. Mm. Mm, we'll look it up later. Mm. We're not now. You know that area code? No, it's trying to figure it out. We'll look it up later. Who else needs our fucking expertise, Eldis? Hi, Stoddy. I have a I've been talking to this person a guy for about a year and we've never met each other but we used to match each other's energy, like texting back and forth on and off. But, you know, it just seems like it has dwindled down to almost nothing. And like, it'll take him like 16 hours to respond, which I'm like,

are you just not interested? Like, what is your problem? And then I also have another problem of when I block people, men, and it's usually abrupt because I just get hired of them. They can make a new phone number or a Snapchat and try to contact me. So what does that mean? So it's just like the ones that I want don't want me and the ones that I don't want want me. Yeah, that's how it works I'm very confusing. So I would just like your vice-advice about that. Okay. Well first of all

You're complaining that a guy takes too long to text you back and he's not that interested Like put yourself in these guys shoes that you block would you want this guy to block you? Maybe you do maybe she's a very direct person. She's like, I get the thing, but it's like, I wouldn't go with the Insta block if the guys not being really strange. I would just let the conversation dwindle and kind of take a page out of this guy's book

who doesn't seem that interested in you and just kind of slowly let it go away. 16 hours is so specific. Yeah, 16 hours is pretty specific, but it also kind of makes sense too. But it might, middle the next day. Yeah. You know?

Is this like a thing that's like, she likes that? Like if she was like all, you know, kind of. She was on her dick, making you, making you Google voice numbers. Like, lock, lock. But instead, it's like, you're not giving me attention, okay. Yeah, and also like, you never met this fucking guy?

I mean, maybe this is a you thing. And it might be real. Kids, well, it's just like, I do feel like younger, some Gen Z motherfuckers will have entire relationships and never meet each other. But I still am a little bit of the like... I mean, I work with people that I've like, meet like two years later.

Yeah. Just doing video stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's, we're not fucking... You're not trying to suck him off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or suck her off. Yeah, maybe.

Who's the hottest guy you work with? You wanna suck? Like you do? Thanks, man. That's awesome. That's nice of you to say. I don't really want you to suck my dick then. I'm sorry.

No, I feel so she's wants this guy to text her back or she's like, what the fuck's the deal? And then other, so it seems like she's getting a lot of people texting. She's texting. She's on Snapchat. Look, this is not a very complicated question. This is how life goes.

Yes, the people you don't want to fuck, you find annoying, and the person you do want to fuck if they don't give you the right attention, it makes you sad. You're just gonna have to keep at it's sister until you find somebody that actually wants to meet up with you. But a guy that you've never met, and also a guy that's never tried to meet up with you. But a guy that you've never met, and also a guy that's never tried to meet up with you,

that's a guy that's just kind of like, maybe keeping you on the back burner, maybe he's a coward, maybe he's just found someone easier, closer, nearby. And like, what does it mean that the guys are making new phone numbers? Could mean two couple things. One, these are all fucking lunatics.

Two though, you say it's abrupt, right? So they might be literally confused. Like if it goes from a pleasant conversation to green text bubbles, you're gonna be like, what the fuck, that was weird. Let me try and get in contact with our sea of everything's okay. Was that mean that it's blocked? Sometimes if it goes from iPhone to green bubbles, it's blocked? Sometimes it goes from iPhone to green bubbles.

Yeah, interesting. Sometimes it does mean that. That's a big problem for me now. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know. Young motherfuckers need to get out. Touch some people. You need to touch some grass,

you need to touch some cock, IRL. You need to do it, IRL. You know, they probably, I was thinking about this, remember when every city had a gay neighborhood? Sure. Now that's gone. Now every neighborhood is gay. Everywhere every neighborhood is gay.

Now you can suck and fuck in every bathroom stall from here to fucking Jersey. Yeah, there used to be a nice contained place, call it a little Madagascar. We're saying you to stick around. You're fine here. You're fine here. You're fine here. Do you dare let me see that shit Call it a little madagascar. Yeah, we're saying you to stick around You're fine here. Don't you dare let me see that shit where me and my children are look you're gonna be grooming us Dude I can't come in a work. I got groomed I got groomed I got groomed up a 40-year to... Oh God, I got groomed again. I got groomed again.

I was once in a bath, I was like, I groomed. I don't know what happened. This guy thought to me. Yeah, that is awesome. It is so... That word is so quickly losing any meaning. Because they're just saying, oh yeah, gay people are all pedophiles. Also, somebody has to have made this point, right? Like, with the book stuff, like who is like,

I might be gay, I'm gonna go to the library. Like, no, I'm gonna pull out my phone and search the most hardcore pornography I can find. Yeah, I'm gonna do a test. I'm gonna pull up butt, I'm gonna search butt fucking in X videos. And if it does something to me, I'm going shopping for tighter jeans.

That's what's going on. Although actually now gay guys are back on their own baggy jeans. Yeah, good for us. Yeah, it's nice to fit to come back. Yeah, yeah, big and tall finally. The jeans I was wearing, because I grew up in Baltimore, so it was like very baggy, throwback, jersey style.

Yeah, style of stuff. I feel like those jeans, I feel like gay people are wearing like jeans from rap videos when we were 16. Yeah, G unit. Those tank tops were pretty gay too by the way. The like tank tops are the little. Yeah, different ribbed. Yeah, they're like strips. Yeah, I went into like a bigger. 50 was jacked. So he wanted to show off those pecs. That's a pretty, he's turned into a fat guy. He's pretty fat these days. It's really funny with his arc is now He's like I own vitamin water fast. I'm rich up at I like I weirdly fucked Chelsea handler for like four months been like

Five years ago. Do you guys remember that? Yeah, yeah 50 stand Chelsea. I wonder who he's fucking these days I love 50 sent man. He came right right right right right at the right time for me. That era of rap is so funny. Yeah. We got 50, we got the game. The game. I guess all I'm thinking is all the like adjacent, you know, D12, a lot of M&M adjacent stuff. It was like in the 60s, you had like, you know,

bands that were like trying to change the world or whatever. And then in the 70s, it was like Led Zeppelin bad company. Yeah, let's just, like, we don't care. We're just about like, We're playing music, we're gonna fuck children. Yeah. That is another thing.

That's what everyone talks about. And gay people being groomers, it's like, don't listen to any classic rock. Yeah, every classic rock song is like, I went into a high school and had sex with a child. Yeah, I wanna fuck a twin year old. I with a child. Yeah, I want to fuck a 12-year-old. It's like, they're talking about like, hot donna, and then you're like,

donna was a local 11-year-old lemonade sales stand girl that the Rolling Stones ran a train on. They put a snapping turtle in her pussy. Oh, yeah, was that so? Yeah. Does that blame apparently put a fish in a girl's pussy who was probably like, like every, every famous groupie was like 14 to 16.

It was so fucked. The song, Dirty Laundry by Don Henley. Oh yeah. That's about, you remember in Boogie Night's when like the 12 year old, old Odies of Coat, like that happened at his house? And like, damn dude. And then the paparazzi,

and he wrote this victimized, I'm a victim of the paparazzi. Yeah. Cause I had a child. Who amongst us has a party with our sexy child? And they die off cocaine in our house. And that's nobody's fucking business. What do you want?

Come on, I'm a Disney World. Yeah, you were fucking Michael Eisner's house taking pictures because some little kid fucking died on the parts of the Caribbean? No, I don't think so. Anyway, back to our friend here. So yeah, that's how life goes. You seem like a young person. You seem like you don't know that that's how things are.

Life is dog shit, it's pain and suffering. It nothing ever really goes your way. Maybe you'll find someone that you actually connect with. And like if match each other's energy is back and forth like you say and it dwindled, that means it's over and it's kind of a coward he's not going to say, hey, I moved on. But then again, you kind of, you're reaping what you sow here because you don't, if you're talking to someone in your board, you just block them.

I do that over text though. You can't break it off. Like that's the only way to stop is just to kind of let it, you're right, Peter off. So it's a little bit, I think that's a little bit of the social contract is like knowing like okay, yeah, yeah You know what's going on here. So just be realistic. We show up at their house or yeah find his IP address Doxie of swathe and be like is this what you want you fucking Asshole text me back. I showed you my tits. And I said your dick looked big even though it didn't.

I'm being a good guy. Yeah, sorry, that's how it is. That's most of young love is like that, I would say. Most of young love is thinking you have a girlfriend and then she calls you the next day. I said she got fingered at a party by accident. And then you're like, oh, well, don't let it happen again. And then you don't like this.

Yeah. God, them. Do you have any fat girlfriends in high school, man? Are you reading, drinking paps with? No, it's basically a session. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah. Again, I love that. That's a cute. Being fat is

like you do get you get your terrible fat little cute asexuals. Your cherub you don't exist. No yeah. Yeah that's there are two modes it's like cherub or like what I'm going with now which is like well you you have satyr. You have success. Yeah. You have a like. No, I was like that in high school too. I was like, party guy. No, not a party guy. I was the same way where I was like, I got no pussy whatsoever. Yeah, I'm just here on a mountain bike hanging out with you guys.

Spoon on. Alright. You guys are going to go in that room and fuck cool. I'm going to watch on Throat Fuck all right get it give us a nice one big else see what we got here Hey Dubby I love you man So what's going I'm a soldier, okay? I'm an army and Where you whispering I just got back to my deployment.

I'm a stolen army. I've inspired a lot of pretty hard. Oh no. You name it. Trugs, women, squandering money, all of that stuff. I'm going deep like super fucking deep. Okay, and I'm trying to reintegrate myself into the civilian world and it's been very tough for me to do that Because I don't have a structure right now. I have a job coming up, but it's just It's just been a little tough in the meantime to develop some form of a routine. So do you got any advice for someone that just got out of a really structured environment and is now coming back to chaos? What feels like chaos?

Yeah, I've been on a vendor man. Help me out. Like, bye. You're right. Get it off a lot. I thought this show was like me and my roommate are sharing butt plugs. Instead, this is like, we got to get this guy's guys if we got calm You and I gotta start giving them money I mean look buddy I get it I get it, you know it is hilarious how much the army just does not give a fuck about these people They're like all right figure it out for you know six weeks, man, but it's I also I would love to see the kind of like

He's a soldier. He's probably like you know He sounds pretty young probably came from a dog shit place He probably has like $11,000 that he's buying pussy with yeah,. And he's like, he's probably buying just the worries on meth, just getting the worst head of all time. I've got a charger, you can't afford. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. 100%. Yeah, he's cruising for street pussy in his charger

with the Hemi. Yeah, buddy, I mean, look, if you just, now I'm no fucking self-control expert here, right? That's really not my strong suit, but I will say that you do kind of have to just set your own fucking goals here. You have to just, you have to goals here. You have to just...

You have to create structure for yourself. It sounds like you're about to have a job. Uh, that's good. But can you just re... Can you just kind of... Recreate? I mean, not as strict as what the army has you fucking do. But it's like, you just had a pretty structured thing.

Do you just need someone to hold your feet to the fire to get anything done? I mean, this might also be like a pendulum swinging the other way. Need a little, yeah. Where it's like, you were in the military. Now you've got all this freedom going nuts and then the job will, you know, hopefully that'll happen. Yeah, exactly.

You need help. You need help. You need help for it. Yeah, here's the thing. Go to the job, man. Don't be like, don't be like, I need a little more time. Don't be calling a podcast. Yeah. Go to a doctor. Okay. I know. You need to go to fucking rehab, honestly. Yeah.

You need to go to some kind of treatment center, bro. It's not me and L. Just don't got the answers for you. Because it's also like the army kind of just sets you up. And it's like, they, they're just sets you up and it's like they're just using you as like cheap labor. They don't really give a fuck about you. It's probably hard on your, I don't know if you've done anything bad, but that's probably hard. Just being the army is probably not good for your psyche. Let alone like when you want all this freedom to be like you're you know you're buttoned up. But it sounds like you just have some underlying substance abuse and control issues that you should go to.

I don't know if it's rehab or if it's like, you know, counseling or what. And by the way, you should have some kind of resources here through the army, don't you think, like? I think they're really fucked too. Yeah, you're probably right. Let me look how many homeless people are fucking veterans. Yeah, yeah, shit He'll put maybe that I mean they probably get at least a therapist or something. Yeah, he'll contact the VA

But have you considered doing another tour? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get your mind right the the VA is like oh interesting. Why don't you come into this room? And it's just a gun with one bullet in it It's like, oh, interesting. Why don't you come into this room and it's just a gun with one bullet in it. It's like, oh, interesting. Why don't you come into this room and it's just a gun with one bullet in it.

I mean, if the job's coming up, you might get back on the job and come to you a little bit better. So is he discharged? I don't get it. He just got back from an employment deployment. Because here's the thing. If you're still enlisted,

that you are still a investment for the army, so they might actually give a fuck about you. I think even when you're done, I think you have to do like National Guard or State. Right. And that's... We're a certain amount of time, yeah. Yeah. But if they think you're going to go back out on deployment, I guess my point is they

might have resources because it's like, if you kill yourself now, they really haven't gotten their money's worth out of their training. So they might. I mean, this is making me think like thank God I was fat in high school. Because I was just, did not exist to the recruiters. Did you ever recruiters like show up?

Like, there were always recruiters in the first place. They were and you're right, I was too fat to eat. They just were like, you don't exist to me. But I was, yeah, I would have never. You think you would have never. You think you would have gotten recruited? I think I was dumb enough to just, not dumb, but, you know, like, I mean,

they pray after, of course. I wasn't, I didn't go to college. Right, right, right. But, there was no way, I don't know. I knew I was, I had a little too much anti-army going on even in high school. Elders keep something about how he wants to join the army. To this day, Elders thinks you could be good-

Got to leave a 35 to join the name. I need this structure. I can lose weight, get a little fit. Look at what it did for Hunter Biden. Yeah. You got till 35? Yeah. Elders, you got what, four more months?

Could I do it? Maybe. I think so. It'd be fun to be on a big boat with all your friends. Yeah. You know, maybe you get to experience killing a person like legally, lawfully like, you know, I don't want to, but that could be just life-perience or something. A possibility. No, that's a good point.

Yeah, dude, go get some help. Get some real help, bro. To somebody, maybe there's some veterans support groups or something like that. Don't look at this fucking guy. It ain't gonna be me, pal. I could just tell you what stop, which is what I would tell you is like chill out.

Look, you want advice from me on, I can give you advice on how to get, you know, 10 porn hub tabs going at the same time. That's about it. The best browser for jacking off. Yeah. So yeah, good luck, pal. Sorry, we don't have more for you,

but you do, just make, I would say, get professional help to the point where you're not fucking up the job. Because that's, this might be like a deep point of shame for him. Like, you know, when would say get professional help to the point where you're not fucking up the job. Because that's, this might be like a deep point of shame for him. Like, you know, when you're like on a bender or something like that, fuck it. And this might be when you swing back,

but like, yeah, if you don't, well then. Yeah. Yeah, you don't wanna keep going down the bender. Love you, brother. But we love you. And why don't you give some fun for us to end on, though, this, is this, you think you got it? I think so.

Okay, let's see if you did it. Hey, stop. So here's my question. Let me stand up and all that shit. Rose is roses, roses. Okay, so I'm gonna have hemorrhoids, okay. And I'm also broke. So I use a sharpie to deliver aquafore into my asshole.

Super bear thing is what it is. And I also buy BS bubble bubble thought. The question that I have is, I've seen this girl for a while, and the same sharpie that I would use to deliver the aquifer into my ass. Well, I saw her using it the other day, and she has a weird habit of like putting pen to her mouth and she put

that sharpie uh... in her mouth and you know i've had to try to keep it clean just because that planetary reasons but but i oldest now you i don't know if you've been diagnosed reasons but I Paws this

Eldest now you I don't know if you've been diagnosed You have you what do you what do you think he means by Sharpie to put aqua for in his ass like you think he puts sharpie He puts aqua for all the tip of the sharpie toothbrush Yeah, and he shoves it up his ass. It seems they've internal. Yes, okay I've I've used time right cream before and what do you do you put it up? a. It's as if they have internal. Yes, okay. I've used Tamarouk green before. And what do you do? You put it up, you put a finger up your ass.

Well, it was like a prescription, nointement. Okay. There's a little plastic tip that you put on top of it. Serenjess, but not sharp, I guess, serenj. It has like holes on this side. And you put it up your ass and you squeeze. Yeah, I was never really completely sure like how you're supposed to use it. But I think you kind of put it in. And you just, up your ass and you squeeze. Yeah, I was never really completely sure like how you're supposed to use it

But I think you kind of put it right and you just it's topical So you put sometimes you have internal cream up your ass. Yeah, I think I think my dream on your side I needed the little adapter for the asshole But you know, so is this guy pouring aquifer under the side of a sharpie and sticking it up his ass you think? He's fucking his ass with the sharpie, just not very deep, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get some aquifur on the inside of his ass.

Sharpie, interesting. Why weird to then just like, I'll put this with the other pen. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, keep that in the medicine cabinet. That's fucking crazy. Because at home, don't know that we can, the Google translate, we can see the, so in my mind, all of these are like, sounds like they're reading. Yeah.

But I'm reading. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this, this might be, some of you might be doing a little skit here. This feels a little fake, eldest, but let's see. Let's, let's let the rest of it go. Um, I'm wondering if I should tell her she's never eaten my ass so there's so there's that. Um, yeah, so am I still seeing her on and off, but uh, yeah, I don't know, she's like, I don't know, should I not just like let a sleeping

dog lie. What do you mean teller? And hey that sharpie on my ass. The fuck do you mean teller? This guy's foolish shit. Is there anything more? Is there anything else? There might be so much to end.

I don't know if I can hide my face if I see that. I don't know. Maybe just hide the pen. I don't know. This is the pen I don't know this is fucking I know I'm trash I got it fucking yeah you're trying to be appreciative and if nothing else maybe a hoe fucking okay still free to share with your next guest anyway bye this guy is really too pleased with yourself yes this little I mean I don't know if it's actually happened. Now I'm actually, maybe he's not making it,

maybe he, Hmm. Yeah, this feels a little like, he's like, oh, this crazy story. Yeah, I think he wanted to share the story a little bit. He doesn't really have a question. Right. He's just puts, I guess I could see somebody putting

aquifer up their ass with a sharpie. I mean, I've had hemorrhoids when I was, didn't have money. It's not that expensive. It's something you can spring for. Also aquifer is expensive. Yeah. Isn't it? Search, look up what aquifer costs. Look up what hemorrhoid cream costs. Aquifer. Look at what Hemroyd Cream costs. Aqua for... Okay, 3.5 ounce jar is $9 at Target.

If you go to, I heard that you get hemorrhoids if you smoke crack. Interesting. So in a lot of neighborhoods where there's high crack use, they put the hemroyd cream behind Plexiglass. That's what I heard. Say a friend of the hemorrhoid. The crack gives you...

The hemorrhoid. Ligin' a bad neighborhood and was like, I had to ask somebody. I went to a CVS downtown LA, like half of the stores behind Plexiglass. Yeah, yeah, the one downtown LA is fucking it. It's a different universe. It's fucked up.

That's like Mad Max down there. It is insane. Okay, now look, a one ounce hemorrhoid coin mint is $6. This guy's full of shit, fuck this guy. Well, I'll just you blew it again on the last call. What a piece of shit. Some fun for our friend Connor to go add on and then we have this guy clearly lying

about putting Aqua for up his ass with the Sharpie. Because everybody has done some kind of version, not exactly this, but some kind of like, I have to do this disgusting thing or whatever. You then that Sharpie then becomes like, it's like OJ's gloves. Yeah. You're not putting it out. You're not putting it out somewhere easily accessible.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this guy's, I didn't like his whole thing. It was. It was, it was, it was, it was, it made me think. What is this? Yeah, I didn't like his vibe and it would be funny if he's not, if he is telling the truth. If I see you on the street, I'm putting a fucking hole

in your head. They're gonna piece a rebar. Pah, pah, pah, pah. Right now. Pah, pah, pah. Stabbing in the head of that rusty piece of rebar. Puh, puh, puh, puh. Right back. Puh, puh. Stabbing in the head of the rusty piece of rebar. Don't fucking swear. Don't ever.

Don't fucking lie about this. Don't lie, dude. This is sacred stuff here. Well, okay, I think that's gonna do it. You know, not a really great crop of questions this episode, but you know, what are you gonna do? Definitely contact suicide hotline. Don't call this place.

Do not call this place and don't lie about putting stuff up your ass. Yeah, call this place, feel like, oh, I left my porn out when my... I think my dad. My dad, my dad. My dad used my pocket pussy. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure my dad used my pocket pussy. Yeah, I'm pretty sure my dad use my pocket pussy But I'm not positive. Yeah, we'll help you out with that my me Here's how you know here's what you do in that situation put a little hot sauce in your pocket pussy We'll prank on dad. Here your dad go All right, there we go. We invented a good question Yeah, I'll just blew it this episode. He take what you get. What it is.

Connor, thanks for being on the show, buddy. Thank you, mate, brother. Of course, anytime, go watch the mask, go watch Connor's shit, and we'll talk to you guys next time. Bye. Bye. I'll just you know, I was thinking the other day. I love you know what I love mango the fruit. I love its sweet, its delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets.

Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off, being like, this actually, one time after a day, I was like, wanna come back with some fruit salad. And I thought it was smooth. And then some to her day. I was like, wanna come back for some fruit salad. And I thought it was smooth.

And then some girl after she fucking was like, that was so weird. You asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drunk. I didn't, I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, Dziac. Well, here's the thing.

I'll thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango and I've oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards and I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game.

You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest. You know I'm an ED, I've tried them all from the gas stations to other services. MangoRx now has a new ED pill that is game changing, okay? Really? Taste like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, and they got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients

in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever. We're talking zwing. You know, when they take out a sword and it goes, zing! Yeah. That's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom.

It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light. Yes, one little gleam. One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Hahaha. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. Yeah, because like I said, I've done a bunch of them.

And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science shit in here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard science in the field,

right? People who have a beautiful goal, here's their mission, make America hard again, eldest. They have, you know, let's get, can we get fuck an idiot? There you go, sorry. We tried to give it the applause, it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again. I think, on what, whatever side of the aisle you're on conservative liberal leftist centrist You could we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks all this division in the world would go away all this I

Think this is such a good product eldest. I think you might have to change your long-standing opinion on on ED medication in general because look here's the thing about my ego, Alex, you might not need it, but you're going to want it, pal. All right? I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed. You've seen you see me take getables. That's

sure. Just because you wanted a little dummy. I have so much wine to get high. I'm saying you take weed addables. I've seen you take fiber addables where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary a momentary snack. I've seen you take thums on an empty stomach just because you wanted the taste and that's how we got elders through the door here with mango Rx. It's easy folks, buying mango is so easy.

Just go to mangorx.com, complete a short and secure telemedicine visit, you're in, you're out. And mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over in literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing quick and easy. Be sure to use code stav20 to save 20% off your first order. You and your partner are going to love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait.

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago,

my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family. Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, And remember, one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.