Stavvy's World - #52 - Todd Barry

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Todd Barry joins the pod to discuss his new special 'Domestic Short Hair,' meeting Joe Jonas, playing as a drummer, how he got his role in Darren Aronofsky's 'The Wrestler', and much more. Stav and Todd help callers including a woman whose creepy coworker keeps inviting her to DJ events at his house, and a small-time bookie stealing from his degenerate gambler coworker. Visit https://thefreezepipe.com/ to enjoy their biggest sale of the year. From now until Christmas you can save up to 30% off a huge selection of pipes, bubblers, bongs, joint chillers and more. Plus if you see something you like that’s not on sale use code STAVVY for 10% off your entire order. Watch Todd Barry's special 'Domestic Short Hair': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKuoreiI0a0 Follow Todd Barry on social media: https://www.toddbarry.com/https://www.instagram.com/toddbarry/ https://www.youtube.com/toddbarryvideos https://twitter.com/toddbarry https://www.facebook.com/toddbarryfanpage/ Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and

Remember one of the most special times for my family whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification get an Airbnb Oh Everybody to Stavis world we're thrilled to have Hot berry Legend the low energy ledge on deck on this episode, great episode. But first, we want to tell you a couple of very exciting things going on here at Stubby

Baby Enterprises, the biggest one of all. December 5th, my special comes out on Netflix, fat rascal, please watch it. Okay, we could really use the numbers. We worked really hard on it. I think you're gonna like it, a lot of good stuff, a lot of dick jokes, stuff you know, a lot of fat jokes, a lot of dick jokes. Listen, you go to McDonald's, you want a nice hamburger. You watch a Stavvy show, you know what you're gonna get.

Finally, crafted dick jokes about a dick not working about it being small, about the guy whose penis it is, but also happens to be fat. And maybe a couple stories where I embarrass myself. Those are available right now. We also have a couple really nice little gifts. Okay, it's holiday season.

The 2024 erotic calendar is out now, baby. You want to see some tasteful needs of me? You want to wake up to my naked body every day? Let me stop you right there. The answer is yes, of course. Go to stav body every day. Let me stop you right there. The answers, yes, of course. Go to Stavvy.biz, got the calendar on sale now, and if you happen to be a Baltimore Ravens fan, a fan of the color purple, a fan of the videos, the reaction videos, I do every Sunday, as the character Ronnie. Well, we got Baltimore Ronnie's t-shirts, folks, available for a limited time

right now this holiday season grab them while you still can. And if you're looking for something else, you know, maybe you're looking to chill. Maybe you're looking to get stoned and you don't want to harsh out your lungs too much. Well we got the solution to that too. Actually, our friends over at thefreezpipe.com have that solution. That's right, visit thefreezpipe.com today to enjoy their biggest sale the year.

That's, they just turned Black Friday into Green Friday and they're not stopping. They're keeping the sales going all the way through Christmas, okay, until Christmas, they have a sick, they have a sick sale going on. That's right, from now until the end of Christmas. Yeah, dude. That's right, from now until the end of Christmas, you can save up to 30% off a huge selection of pipes, bumblers, bongs,

joint chillers, and more at thefreezfive.com. Plus, if you see something you like, that's not on sale. Use code Stavi, STAVVY for 10% off your entire order. We love the damn free spy pier folks. We use it almost after every episode we record. Hey, we might be using it very shortly. Maybe by the middle of this episode, if you catch my drift, so go to thefreespif.com and use promo code Snobby for 10% off.

Plus they got to sail all the way through Christmas. And we got calendars, we got Ronnie T-shirts, and we got a special Netflix coming December 5th now. Let's get to the app with Todd. Up, uh, welcome everybody to Stavvy's World, 904 800, stop. Calling will solve all your problems. We're pumped, we got Todd Berry in the fucking studio.

Thanks for coming. Thank you, Rich, want to do a look at it. Whatever you want, babe. Just let your eyes wander. Make it harder for Eldis. It's my rules, man. Yeah. Keep that head on the swivel.

Eldis, you better not fuck that up, dude. Don't embarrass me in front of Todd. Yeah. We got Todd Barry of the minute. You special domestic short hair out on YouTube right now. Yeah. Go watch it, folks. Very funny.

Yeah, dude, thanks for coming out. Thanks for having me. I'm a big fan. Oh, cool, man. For years, I mean, yeah, I mean, there's so much, from so much stuff, obviously, the Dr. Catch days. Oh, really? You're back.

Oh, we're back. I mean, so me and I just grew up together and he had a legal cable, didn't you? No, we didn't have a legal. Wow, I'm sorry. We'll buy the books. Yeah. I did.

You're up. You're running here now to rest of the family confession. Yeah. I'm wearing to get in here now to rest. Finally a confession. Yeah. I'm wearing a wire. This whole, I'm wearing a wire at the podcast. Even though that was a fast one. I'm wearing a wire.

This is a credibility. Yeah, Todd takes the mission impossible. Mask off, he's a cop, he's lieutenant Lou from NYPD. I'm sorry, accused you. You're parents were upstanding immigrants, happy to be in the country. Thank you. Didn't want to jeopard immigrants, happy to be in the country. Thank you.

Didn't want to jeopardize it so they could get TNT. Didn't want to get sent, shipped back to Albania for stealing food network for watching an emerald legacy. But yes, I remember being in Eldest's house and that's how I came across a lot of comedians was watching Dr. Katz, fully not understanding. You know when you're a little kid and you're like, no, I get this, I'm smart, I'm like an adult. We were like, God, you know, I don't wanna say

how old Todd, I don't wanna bum you out. I don't wanna say that we were nine years old watching Dr. Katz. Larry, I was 10 at the time. Yeah. I was the youngest guy ever. Yes, ever. So that's just a year, yeah.

It's just a year, yeah. It's just a year, yeah. But yeah, dude, thank you. Thank you for coming and the specials awesome. So everybody go edge free on YouTube, go watch that. But yeah, man, from the Dr. Katz days all the way through. And I don't know if this is, this might be the week of Thanksgiving. So if you have anything you're thankful for,

that you want to tell the people here. Well, I don't know if I'm thankful for this, but last night, one of the Jonas Brothers bought me a drink. That's pretty sick. You know which one? Yeah, it was Joe Jonas. Joe, okay. I was at, there's a spar I go to,

and I go there, it's gonna be a name drop, but with Chris Rock, I go there. Wow, double name drop off the top. So we're sitting there, it's gonna be a name drop, but with Chris Rock I go there. Wow, double name drop, off the top. So we're sitting there, like, it's kind of a chill quiet bar with couches and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was these guys behind him, and they kind of were like, huddling a little bit, and then like looking at their phone, which I realized later was to, he was showing him who I was.

Yeah, that's so awesome. And then the, then the, the guy, the manager, the manager, the bar comes over just with two drinks. I was like, what? Joe Jonas bought you these drinks. And I'm like, oh, that's who that is. And then he came over and then I just thanked him for the, and the great story that's, of course, fresh story. I love it. That's great.

You getting it fresh. We're getting the freshest Todd Berry name drops on this podcast, folks. No, no stale shit. We get it right off the market. Yeah, I believe that's, I can't keep the Jonas' straight. I don't want to shit, you know, I don't want to sell your story isn't he in like a horrible custody battle with the bitch from game of thrones For Joe Jonas You might be harboring you might be you might have made a problematic front-end

Oh, I think I think he's like hiding her kids from her or something like that. Or maybe she is, I don't fucking know. Look at this, do some producing, I'll just for fuck sake. Free drink is a free drink. Free drink is a free drink. Pole pot comes through with a fucking, with a, oh what do we got? In court, I can something by people Tuesday

and Irm can send orders laid out for custody of the estranged couples, two daughters, Delfine and Rilla, Delfine's a tough name. It's cute. For the coming weeks after being engaged in productive mediation, okay. That's a shame, you know, I would have loved for Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner.

Yeah, there he is, I remember him from last night. That's the guy. You're team Joe. Todd says fuck, Sophie Turner. You heard it here first, folks. I did that. Sophie, if you're single, Todd says fuck Sophie Turner. You heard it here first folks Sophie if you're single I I will ditch Todd in a second. I will lose his number Shout hit me up. What was your name Sansa? She was Sansa one Game of Thrones

What was that? Come on. I've never watched one second of games. No game of throws. Yeah, I mean, I'm not to be like I don't know what I've never watched it did. Yeah, so you're coming. You're you're really doubling down on your pro Joe bonafee's Oh, yeah, man. You're like I don't even fucking I've never even heard of it. I'm a dollar drink Fancy tequila drink No, I'm with you, bro. Was he with the other Jonas's or just... He's with some guy who was a fan of mine, and I had this awkward thing where he's like, I don't know how to be like, who are you? Right.

I mean, he was very nice. Of course. But I don't know how to find out like, you some superstar. It'd be strange if you were really into Joe Jonas. Yeah, yeah. He would be at this time. That would be... Yeah, it was like a DJ or something,

but he was very complimentary and, you know, as a fan of me and... Hell yeah, dude. It was like a DJ or something, but he was very complimentary and, you know, as a fan of me and everything. Hell yeah, that feels nice. When a guy, the one a guy has a much more famous friend, but you get in through the like, the low level guy. Yeah, that's nice. That's the last time I was the low level guy.

Of course, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, was Chris just kind of sitting there? What do you mean? Was he engaged in Joe? So oh, yeah, I think they had met previously which is why he bought it the drinks. Oh That's beautiful. That's kind of beautiful then you got the two you got the arena acts together. Yeah

Now I'm gonna bring it on the road We'll do like we'll be the side-stakes Yeah, you're in the tent at the festival. They're in the big stage. Why are waiting for the main show? I'm gonna go buy some cotton candy and check these guys out. Oh man, did you ever do any like festival outdoor shows? Oh yeah, there's a lot of them, man.

That's really nice to do. It's called, yeah, I did some one I used to do. Well, this is a good story. I did one in Austin called the Fun Fun Fun Fest. Yes. Where I was on the stage and I was like splitting a stage with a band who was sound checking while I was doing my show.

And there's one of those things like, do you know what I'm saying? You can't get mad at the band, but he like, of course, come on guys. You just think you just, weren't I'm not a human being? It's great to share the stage with it. And it's also like, if I had to pick one act

to not have to share the stage with a rock band, I think you're pretty high on that list. I think it's like a lot of pauses, a lot of nuance. You can't read, your timing is kind of getting shredded by a guy tuning his bass. I get it. I'm a genius. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's the thing.

Oh, you're not a lot of act-outs. Just what I'm saying. It's time. Yeah, but it was just almost, it was just one of the things where it's like unbelievable. And then I did comedy day in San Francisco. Okay. I don't know if they still have it, but this sounds like

something you'd write in a movie, but the Blue Angels. And you're sitting there, you're doing your comedy and the guy that's playing is doing a flip. There is there's no competing with a fighter jet doing doing cool shit. There is not one. There's not a joke. doing cool shit. There is not one, there's not a joke. The best joke ever written is not even half as cool as a jet. Not even doing anything cool. A jet just parked. I would rather watch, be like, holy shit. I mean, normally you don't want your show fucked up, but if like it's gonna be fucked up,

it might as well be a show. An air show at it. But another time, I'm starting to think all these basketball stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did this outside lands festival in San Francisco and Stevie Wonder was also in the festival. Oh my God. And I was on stage and I guess we overlapped

and you could hear people. And I was just kind of like, you should go for the hair. I'll be back in six months. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can see Stevie Wonder. I will be at a comedy club with very affordable prices. I mean, I'm talented, but Stevie Wonder's really talented. He's, yeah.

He's one of the best guys of all time. That's why I never, I'm so happy that I never, I feel like that ended where they used to book, they used to book comedy a lot on these festivals. And it would look awesome, looking wrong. The poster looks sick. Yeah, yeah. Cause there's some awesome, you see Stevie Wonder and then seeing your name a little underneath, a lot on these festivals and it would look awesome. Looking for wrong. The poster looks sick. Because there's some awesome, you see Stevie Wonder

and then seeing your name a little underneath, fucking awesome. But then the actual experience, everyone I've talked to is just, I mean, all those comedy tents are brutal because you can hear the bands, it's outdoors. I think once you readjust your, I mean, I was just fun, readjust your expectations. That's true. All right, there's gonna be Stevie Wonder playing the background. I don't deal with that at the comedy seller. Once you readjust your I mean I was good fun readjust your expectation like all right

There's gonna be Stevie Wonder playing the background. I don't deal with that at the comedy seller He rarely comes in there and starts playing They do have a piano, but I did one in a it's called Sasquatch in yes watching a beautiful gorge. Oh, yes the gorge is awesome but I remember like There was a band that was so loud playing like a rap band right near me. And I, like I wish I had earplugs. Maybe I did have earplugs, but I was just like,

it's one of the things where you're like, should I comment on this every five seconds? But I looked down at the hotel at joke and they were laughing and like, oh, they don't even notice. Right, right, right. Because they're younger than me, I guess. But I was like, this is hard. This is hard.

Throwing my shit off. But it is fun, because you just, it's a different, you know, you get to go. It's a party. It's a party. You're like this tent, you know, and it's like this. A lot of drugs. Like, I'm not a drug guy, but they,

Yeah, I'm a drug guy. All right, well, for me. But they, that's what I'm gonna have my drugs. Thanks, man. But they have like a hospitality tent. Yes. And they're like, you know, Jack White is eating breakfast over near you.

That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, no, to me, the only thing I miss from that is, I guess you're right, if you treat it as like just an awesome, like an awesome event, like almost like a vacation you're getting paid to go on, that's pretty good. The show is going to be the low light of the actual time. Like I loved, I did Birch's, Bird had his,

the fully loaded tour and it was cool because I mean, that motherfucker is in arenas and it was like, I mean, I've never been in front of 10,000 people, right? And it is, it's awesome when you do it, but then you're like, after you do it a couple of times, you're like, I love the experience of doing this. I'm glad I did it. But I do like it, but then you're like, after you do it a couple of times, you're like, I love the experience of doing this. I'm glad I did it, but I do like clubs, but.

Like that's how I even feel about doing a theater where it's like, we did Indy, we did Helium, and it was like 200 seats to warm up for like, because I hadn't been on stage for like six months, or whatever, and I was like, oh my God, clubs are fucking, oh, this is so much better. I mean, as far as like crushing. You feel so good. And it's like, that my God, clubs are fucking all. This is so much better. I mean, as far as like crushing. You feel so good.

And that's what everybody's doing it is to just, at the end, at the very base, it's like, oh, this is some ego shit. I love this moment of like, you know, it washing, and you make a real connection with people too. Like, you see their faces there, but it was fun as shit. Birch's tour was fucking awesome because it's like, you want to talk about any food you've ever thought of.

He's a great guy. He's awesome, the crew was great. We had a great, we had a great, you know, big J, Santino, Maddie Smith was on the Ralph Barboso. It was just like a great norm, it was their great hangs. And there's an activity, there is drugs, as if you're a drug guy. You probably could have gotten sucked off.

I was literally too heed anistic. This is not, I don't know if this ever problem. You have, have you ever been too full in on drugs to get pussy? That's, unfortunately, that's a running theme in my life where it's like, that's where I'm like, damn, I'm really living like a Roman emperors fucked up son. The one he doesn't expect, he's like, look, I'm so fat,

don't assassinate me brother, I'll never try and get, I'll never fight you for the throne. That's kind of my lifestyle on those tours, but not a bad lifestyle. I guess the keys don't eat if you're out of festival. Yeah, keep it light. Keep it light. Maybe a soft pretzel, a little hassle,

a couple of lights. Try and get a smoothie in you. No downers. Don't take too many pills. Your penis will not work. But yeah, like the big, I've did a couple of those. Oddball festival show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember those. That's when I would look at those and be like, when I'm working at a community college testing center. And I would see those lineups and I'm like one day I'll do the odd ball festival and then it's like it's cool because you see the names but I'm sure the like I don't know maybe you're gonna say it was awesome now I was it was I'm it's cool but like I was just saying like readjusting like yeah you go out there and it's like the someone's throwing a beach ball around you can't yeah stop that I'm doing my abs.

This is well-crafting. I was like, so you kind of all that shit that in a club, I would be like, winding you guys deal with this or whatever. Yeah, you kind of just, it's different. So you play, like I opened for Ricky Gervais a couple of times. And he would insist on going starting the show like three minutes late at the most.

Wow. Oh, that's tough. The other thing, you're like, if you waited to late, 10, there'd be 900 more P.K.s. But I just played to the people who were less, I just, I don't know, I had this place old's 5,000, it was about 2,000 year. That's way more than I usually play for. Of course, yeah. So like 2,000 people, yeah.

And that's people going to pour in and, yeah. I guess that's a pro, man. Yeah. and that's people gonna pour in and yeah, I guess that's pro man. Yeah Really inspirational. This is great. You hear that folks That is maybe why he's so successful I guess because every time anybody any time a club's like you want to push I'm like Push all put cancel the show. I don't care. I don't give a fine. I don't want your base like three minutes no more I understand it like if I had the power I would like I hate that people saunter in like yeah movies when you see someone like movies gone for 10

Someone just walks in you were in the popcorn line Yeah, you know you have to think like the first 10 minutes. It's just Nothing good happening in the first. Yeah, you don't think it's a little crucial Like exactly. I know it's what I mean if maybe if you're watching the Meg or the Meg too, great movies, by the way. Just watch that bad boy. But it may be an action movie, but if you're killers of the flower moon,

skip this snack, you're gonna wanna see the first 10 minutes. I think I got a little story about that, all right? Please. It's a lie. It's a lie. Dominating. I love it. I walked into the stand the other day and I walked into the dressing room and

Polly Shores stretched out on the couch. I was like, okay, how you doing? I'd never met him. Yeah. No, I would chat a little bit. At some point, I was going to tell my old friend Tom Ryan, who's a really like old close comedy friend of mine, about, you know, I guess who I meant today. And then he writes to me before I write to him,

he's like, I went to the movies today. Guess who was in front of me in the popcorn line, staying. Oh, dude. I was like, all right. You shit on you. You shit on you. All right. Wow.

Kinda kills my Paulie's short story a little bit. But what it felt,, it felt worse though if you said polysure first and then he, oh yes, you would do no reverse stings. This, that way you can just shut the fuck about polysure and then in fact lie to him, keep it for a week later and be like, guess who I just saw a polysure. Oh yeah, kind of like it.

You should have held onto polysure. That's a lot. Yeah, just kept it in my back pocket. For a low in the conversation with your good friend of many years. Oh, did I tell you I met Paulie Shore? He was a legendary, like the comedy club stories you would hear about Paulie Shore were wild. There's, let's just say, folks, don't sit on the couch at the Virginia Beach funny bone.

I won't go into any more detail. Let's just say Pauli got his money's worth out of the show, allegedly, and from other sources. But it is funny, because that guy, that's a life where you're just like, I did my thing and I'm dining out on it for the rest of my life. And you know, there's like women who are like, I'm gonna pretend I'm 17 again, I'm teasing my hair,

and I'm gonna suck off the weeds. You know what I mean? Like, 38-year-old women that are just like, I just got divorced, and I'm gonna have Paulie Shore have a snack on these stretch marks and we're gonna pretend it's 1983 and everyone's gonna have a good time. Well when I met him he was napping so it's a little different. Yeah, I think things have changed a little bit.

They've changed. Shout out to Paulie, come do Stavis World, we'd love to have you, pal. Yeah, that's hilarious. I have not had any run-ins, but he texted me one time, just out of the blue, a comedy club manager gave, because I was doing Vegas. And he was like, hey, man. And I was like, hey, what's up, Paulie Shore?

And he just never got back to me. He runs you? Yeah. I think I was, he's probably, you guys say, I guess he lives in Vegas or something? Oh, that's him. So, I guess he wanted, I think I was, he's probably, you guys say, I guess he lives in Vegas or something? Oh, that's him. So, I guess he wanted, I was doing like, you know, a Tuesday at Wise, this is not like,

I'm not doing well at the time. And he was just like, this is the very beginning, it's probably like three years, two years ago, before we had ever posted a crowd work clip, all this, shout out to the internet, took me from Wiseguys on a Tuesday to a theater, but yeah, he just wanted, I guess he just wanted to, and I was pumped, I was like, this will be fun,

because it's like, it's like, you know, a great club, by the way, I like Wiseguys. But Vegas is a strange town to do fucking comedy, and because everybody's like, I'd rather go watch Usher or Chris Angel. No one gives a fuck about you. Yeah, I don't love Vegas. And I really don't love Atlantic City.

Yeah. And it's controversial take on Atlantic City. Slow down with a hot takes Todd. But yeah, I never get like, if I get a Vegas or like, I'll take it, but if it's never like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're never pumped. It's just depressing, man.

Oh my God. Imagine the amount of people that have killed themselves in those cities. It's gotta be through the roof. Like if you have to pick one city where the most hotels, one city where the most suicides have happened in hotels, 100% it's Vegas, 100%.

You go out, you get a, because you can get the sickest hotel of all time. And what do you care if you're not, you put on a credit card and kill yourself in it. If you're gonna kill yourself, get the best suite of the fucking win. And just, you know what I mean? Jump off the top.

Jump off, get the pen house, break the fucking windows with a, a $3,000 chair, and then just swan down. That's how I do it anyway. That's the way I would do when I'm. I don't know if I'd get the sweet. I feel like I would pass that, pay that forward. Okay.

If you're gonna kill yourself, you need like an extra bedroom or something. Right, right, right. Here's how about this. Okay. It's a big, you wanna, this is like you and your friends, you know what you should do really?

Buy a bunch of like gift cards with credit cards or like buy your friends a bunch of shit on your credit card. And then, like I was gonna say maybe take the boys out, kind of like a bachelor party where you kill yourself. You know, instead of getting married, it's you actually kill yourself. That could be kind of nice.

None of your friends know what's happening. I think an interesting twist on the bachelor party. I was a bachelor party. It was a little different this time. You know, the groom took his own life. Oh, I guess not a bachelor party. Because then the wife's involved. That's kind of sad.

She thinks she's getting married. Turns out he's been cheating and he has chlamydia and he lost all their money on crypto so he offed himself. But just like if I took you out on the best vacation, we remember, me, you are best friends. We have the best time of our lives. And then I kill myself.

And I'm like, boys, don't worry, it was awesome. I wanted to do this and I wanted to show you one last time. It's on me, you don't have to pay for a dime. You don't have to fucking come. I never let you touch your wallet. That would be, if all the ways for your friend to kill themselves, that's got to be the best way. He treats you to one last hurrah together. I mean, I've never thought about it.

I mean, I thought about killing myself a lot. I never thought of a way to make it really interesting. Yeah. We'll do some little different for this. There's a little twist on it. Everyone, look, we've all pills, slicing your fucking arteries in a bathtub that's packed at this point. Do you think your friends are going to be like those?

You know, my friends committed suicide, but that's stately at last night. I honestly would hope so. I had hope for myself. Literally, I kind of want to think yes, they would. Because other things, suicide's so sad, right? Yes. But if you pair it with a fun vacation.

Pair with a good red wine. Yeah. I get red wine. A wagyu ribeye. Who's mad at that? At that point, it kind of brings you back to zero is what I'm saying. You have to have as fun a time for free

as a suicide is sad, so that your friends, because you don't want your friends being sad, you want to bring them down to zero. I'm sorry. You and I differ. Oh, oh, oh, oh. My friends would be fucking,

I want my friends to be devastated. I want like no laughing at the funeral. Okay. Just pure crying. That's great. Well then what you should do is the opposite, which is like, let's say your friend is having a tough time paying his mortgage. You should be like, tomorrow, we're going to the bank and I'm paying the house off for

you, pal. And then you kill yourself that night. So now he's double sad. Because now you're gone and you were his ticket to financial freedom. Wow, where's this house though? It depends on whether I can... Well, you don't be on a pay for it, you're dead.

Oh, I see. Oh, you're like a lie to him? That's what I'm saying. You want your friends devastated, so you make them promises, instead of treating them out to a good time. So then it's like, Todd was such a good guy. You'd probably have to make it look like an accident or else they'd think, wow, Todd's a piece of shit. He knew that would actually be a pretty good prank though.

They go out, be like, all your problems are solved, buddy. GOOL. All I need to do is sign this one, pay. Right. Or that would be great. Time it that you the pills kick in as you're signing it well as Fargo and you're like We got some good ideas here eldest Maybe I will do that to you when I kill myself. So you're proposing having an awesome unforgettable weekend Yes, and also doing a very Two different things two different things out of the. Todd said he wants his friends devastated.

Okay, okay, guys. I'm saying I would have the party. Todd, I'm trying to figure out a way for him to make his friends double sad. They've lost him and this, you know, plan he was going to do. But I wouldn't want this like an anger L.A. Right, because then I'd be like, You'd have to hire a guy to kill him.

A tarnish. Then how about this, Todd? Sadness. You hire a guy to kill you. Oh tarnish. Then how about this, Todd? Sadness. You hire a guy to kill you. Oh my god. That way it's so tragic. And then that guy would probably have to kill himself. You'd also want it to probably be a white guy.

You don't want it that I'm thinking about. The socio-economic issues in America that led a black guy to crime. Just a lot. There's a lot of, you have to find somebody that make it cut and dry. Maybe hit me. Well, I'm going to stay alive while I'm thinking about this.

Yeah, yeah. You got a couple years to figure it out. Give me a lot of options. A lot of ways when you go with this. I'm gonna choose life. Choose life. Choose life for now, my friend. Fuck. The other thing I wanted to ask you a couple things, because I was watching the special. And you want to ask people about actual jokes, because that's, you know, go watch the

thing. But there's little, in the setups, there's always things I like to ask, because you can glean things about people just about that stuff. So it's funny to me that you said you played French horn in middle school. Yeah. Which is funny for a couple reasons, but number one, it's like thinking of you as a child is hilarious to me. You feel like the kind of person just spawned.

Really? You know what I mean? That's been like approximately this guy in my consciousness. You know what I mean? You've kind of always been this sort of this guy. Well, you didn't know me. You were in a live and when I was a boy.

That's true. That's true. But you're subtly bringing up. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I just mean, what were you like a low energy, 70 year old theater? I mean, like that's probably was, or what?

Offered little weirdo. Where'd you grow up? Where'd you grow up? What's boy Todd like? Is kind of, I don't get it. I was born in New York and I lived here till I was five in the Bronx and I moved up state till I was eight. Then York and I lived here till I was five in the Bronx. And I moved up state till I was eight.

Then my dad's company got the entire company moved to Florida. I lived in South Florida for 15 years. But part of the time was in North Central Florida and Gainesville University, Florida. Oh, there you go. And then I moved back here in 89. A Gator. Yeah, fuck yeah. I didn't like the other day, some of the the world series is today like I had no idea. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, that's how much of an artist Well baseball sucks dick though, too. That's the other thing It's the diamondbacks versus the Rangers who gives a shit? Fuck Arizona and Texas. I don't I think Dallas is the Rangers, right? Houston is you don't know what the fuck am I asking you to? You guys are sports guys Interesting. Did you have to play the French horn? Was that mandatory? No, I wasn't you wanted to play you wanted to be I just you know, I've played a number I'm the my instrument that I got best at was drums, but still not good like it's hard a lot of comic drummers

I think I'm the worst of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I just thought the French horn looked so cool. Interesting. But it's like, is that the one with like the swirls? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's beautiful instrument. And it's just one of those things are like, oh, you do have to practice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't get to just rip on. Just carrying it around and then I play the French horn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I guess at some point I bailed on it. I bailed on piano lessons. I bailed on, I played the clarinet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I guess at some point I bailed on it. I bailed on piano lessons. I bailed on, I played the clarinet for a few minutes, trumpet. Wow.

Oh, but all for life. You were going through trying to... I don't remember, like, I feel like I did each of these for like three weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drove your parents fucking crazy. Yeah. Because you're making the worst racket of all time.

Good bad. My son's a bad trumpet player. Yeah. You played something. What did you play? I actually played French horn in Middles. Oh, two French horn brothers. Too bad we can't talk shop. Talk reads.

Which brand? Go crazy. The brand you have. I don't know the brands. I played like Flute for a year and fifth grade, then I switched to French horn for Middles school. Wow, this fucking guy. We had the same Baltimore City elementary school

until fourth grade, and then he goes to the county where they all have a son half instruments. We didn't have a fucking instrument to speak of in Baltimore City, but you go start playing the fucking flute. Yeah, I should have stuck with a flute. The French one's pretty hard. Yeah, I think it's like a lot harder than a trumpet or like other brass instruments

because the mouthpiece is so small. Mmm. That's what I remember from the real world. That's why I quit. Yeah, yeah, little... To the mouthpiece. Was the band... But I remember bringing that on the school bus.

Right. Oh, it's fucking thing, man. Too much. Yeah, man. And I would feel like it would mark you as a nerd, no disrespect to both of you. But any time I saw a kid with a big ass, like, instrument, I'd be like, dork.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's so ruthless. Children are so ruthless, you're like, All right, they are. I got this over this fucking loser. Because it's just, it's all everyone's trying to survive. So it's like, all right, if I get into,

if I get into an altercation with this guy, I make fun of him for lugging around his fucking oboe or whatever the fuck he's doing. I couldn't do band at all. I tried, when I was like 14 to do the classic, like, you know, the classic white, white, white boy, move of trying to learn the guitar. I tried to like, you know, I went to Greece one summer

and I found my cousin's lead Zeppelin CDs and I was like, and black Sabbath and I was like, this is my fucking personality now and I'm gonna try, but I have much too fat fingers. Man, I wish I had learned picked up a guitar when I was younger. Yeah, dude. All this comedy could be out the window.

Yeah. You're fucking rock star. Yeah. Well, you. All this comedy could be out the one. Rock star. Well, you tried every fucking instrument. You didn't even think of guitar. I had for some reason I was never drawn to guitar, but now looking back, I was like, man, why didn't I wish I would I really do wish I would take an up guitar. That's the one, dude. Yeah, because I mean, I just feel like you get a career like that. You can be like, you can be funny, you can be serious, make people cry. And by the way, make people laugh.

By the way, as long as you get the instrument, you don't have to actually be funny, right? No. You have to be funny for a guitarist. Yeah, like, yeah, that can, you know what I mean? Like, you took a little stab at it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, listen, everyone sucks John Mayer off,

because we'll go to the cellar and like riff a little bit. It's, the bar is low. You just have to not embarrass yourself. You're a fucking piece of ass who's awesome at guitar. Everyone's gonna laugh at you. So that's, yeah, I mean, music really is, that's the one. Because it's also primal, I feel like. On some level, it's like, yes, have we gotten

posted we don't deserve due to comedy, of course. But when you're playing the guitar, you could be like a shady guitar player at a bar and get female attention that way. You cannot be bombing at an open mic with the TV's on and have like a girl be like, hmm, I want the guy to bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can be a guy just barely making it through a kiss song at At a sports bar and they're like, yes!

And then you get head in your mom's car that you drove to the gig there. Yeah, dude, I don't know. So you never stuck with it, huh? What do you do, any? Well, it wasn't Bans as a drummer for me. Oh, you were, okay. I I mean I've he recorded and stuff Oh, hell yeah, but you know, I I want youth yes at 20s. Oh, fuck you then back here or far Yeah, but and now occasionally like you know spend yellow tango by and yeah, yeah, I play with them sometimes Oh, that's sick like I'll open for them during these like shows at power ballroom. They do and so also playing the encore and So shows at Powery Ballroom they do. And then so, I'll play in the encore. Oh yeah. So, dude, I would go crazy. If I'm just a comedy fan and a Yolotango fan and I see you hitting the pick in the sticks up,

I'd be losing my shit. It's the best way to do it, because it's just like, oh, that's the comedian plan, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I mean, but I watch drummers, and I just look, oh my God, it's like anti-inspirational. It's like, I don't know what's going on there, man.

I'm fucking unbelievable. It's like no way could I do that. I'm not even close. So what was the, what style are we talking? What are we talking? We're trying to garage-y, angly. Fuck yeah. Do you remember any of your band names?

Oh yeah, I was like, yeah, I'm not that old. Hit us with it. The biggest band I was in was called The Chance. The Chance. Yeah, it was the record you could find. Oh, fuck yeah, I was like a yeah, I'm not that old hit us with it the biggest band I was in was called the chant the chant. Yeah, it's a record you can find Oh fuck yeah, dude And I was a band called die trying in college and cuddle fish cuddle fit these are some good names I think that's just think those are the three bands. Yeah, that's sick though Yeah, and you had rocks so you had rockstar inspirer like I did yeah I didn't. I was like, I kinda wanted to do it. Yeah, but that just, you know, I didn't practice much.

I guess it's the getting good part. I love that deal. And I gloss over the getting good part. You took it pretty far with not being good. Yeah. To be in three bands, have a record, you know? Yeah. And in college too, that's the time to do it.

Because it's like, you know what I mean? It's like everybody's kind of like, where did you go to college? I went to UMBC University of Maryland, Baltimore County, the one of the lowest level schools in the university of Maryland system. It was actually a really good academically, but one of the lamest fucking places you could go. Like, fun-wise? Oh. What did you make, you're...

I made you do political science and media studies, and I dropped out with six credits left. Really? Yeah. I did technically drop out, they let me walk. I think I've told the story in the podcast before, but I just was already doing comedy, and in my head, I was like, ah, I don't want to go back to summer, take summer classes.

They let me walk. So you don't have a degree. I do not have a degree, yeah. I gotta go. I'm gonna drop out. I'm gonna uneducate and drop out. See you later, man. What's your, where should you go?

I went to university for art. Oh, Florida is a great. But I remember like, I'm sure it was very rigorous in Gainesville. Actually, university for art is good school. in games though actually universe was good school really yeah It is okay. I'm sorry. I'm a point were sending I thought so strongly about no, but it was a good yeah I guess I think of every like southern football school is like no one learns anything

They all go to the game. No, that's yeah Well, I mean for everyone who's a football player. There's a lot of people who aren't football players. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, it was everything there was like, you know, hippies, punks, right wingers, left wingers. And so it was kind of, it's a, yeah, it wasn't just. Sure. Like, you could have avoided the whole fraternity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't like Alabama, for example, or something like, like, I don't universe of Alabama. Yeah, I mean, there's just like such a football place. Yeah, I mean, it was, but there are definitely people who are way into it more than I am.

And that's like, I see guys like, something about sports. Like I've seen people like in line for TSA and like, somehow they get in the conversation about the, about some football game. And they're like 50 feet from each other. And they don't know each other. Hey, buddy, they tell the game, yeah, I can't, I don't even know how to speak football. Well, it's on the name the coach. And like, of course. Yeah Hey, look, buddy, they tell the game, yeah, I can't, I don't even know how to speak football.

Well, it's on the name of the coach. Of course. Yeah, we got it. Okay, guys. It is one of the greatest social lubricants there are, though. It's like, in terms of small talk, if you know just a little about football, no elevator in America is horrible.

You know what I mean? I'll be at the table at the cellar sometimes. Yeah. Suddenly, like, the subject changed. Just a football and everyone knows about it except man. I'll just like, I'll see you guys in a half hour maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah.

No, you have comics that are football comics then. There's a big basketball community. Yeah, I mean Sam had a, me and Sam Real had a basketball podcast for a while. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I want him to take me to one of like, I'd love to sit courtside. Oh, yeah. I never watched the basketball game in my life.

Oh, dude. It's great. It seems like it'd be a blast. That's the one that you got to go to in person. It's like a basketball game is so sick. You want a halls? You want a fresh halls, my man? Can you cut out some of these cops?

Yeah, whatever you want. Elders. Oh, come Oh, sorry. Come on, man. Um, you had to hit throw him a heater. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. The man just told you he hasn't liked sports. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay, you're good. Yeah, there you go I'm afraid to start eating this because no no go crazy. All right

We've eaten pizza on here before really right into the mics Yeah, it doesn't fucking matter get that hole. Yeah, don't get that holes in there. Mm-hmm. Okay It doesn't fucking matter. Get that hole, yeah. Get that holes in there. Mm-hmm. Okay. Hell yeah, dude. Nice. And then from fucking,

and then you eventually just gave up on your music dreams and you were like, let's start doing some mics. Yeah, I used to, I was very always a comedy fan. And even when I was in bands, I would like to take the mic and start doing, yeah, yeah. Being doing banter, between songs. Yes, yes, yes.

But yeah, when I started doing comedy was in 87. Tomorrow's my 36 year anniversary. Holy shit, there we go. Yeah, given the applause, elders. It's not coming through, Diffy. You motherfucker. I wanted someone to applause to make that very girl. To make our guest feel celebrated.

I mean, that was huge. That was great, wasn't it? I made all 36 years worth it. That's fucking sick, dude. Did you ever think, because you also, you've ended up my favorite thing, because you know, I've watched, I mean, there's a couple of two questions I wanna ask. One is about,

do you ever feel responsible for the day loose of crowd work that's happened because you were the first guy I ever saw to do a crowd work special? Because I watched it, I remember watching it being like, this is awesome, one day I wanna do one of these. I kinda weirdly, in the statistical way, I'm wondering why people don't bring it up

No, I love that special I remember watching and being like whoa this is sick You know one day I want to do one of these and then who knew that it would be like, we kind of did it by accident. And now I like, I almost cut out all the crowd work in my special, because I just wanted to get away from that. But now I'm on tour with a half crowd work, half joke store.

Nice. But yeah, I did, I was a real maverick. So I was like, yeah. So I think maybe found one person did a crowd work special before me. But I mean, I definitely, other comics were crowd. Totally, totally. But you did do the first dedicated, and it was not an app, you really,

and it was interesting the way it would happen, because it was like between, I was kind of like on a tour, and it was like a little bit of... Seven cities. Seven cities, and it was like a little bit of flavor of each city, it was really well done. Yeah, I was kind of like on a tour and it was like a little bit of- Yeah, seven cities. Seven cities and it was like a little bit of flavor of each city who's really well done. Yeah, I do.

And it was kind of, I mean, we basically have ripped that off with my crowd. We do a crowd work special on the road. We did one in New York where we did one week in New York and it was like, it was like, you know, over eight different shows and it was each different venue and we were kind of like, yeah, we should do it like Todd's. So, you know, thank you.

Thanks for letting us rip that off. Well, right to my face. Yeah. Yeah. Stealing it, what is it? Stealing is the most sincere form of flattery or whatever the fuck? Imitation.

Imitation. I don't think, I don't think it's, I don't think it's stealing. That's a little more poetic than stealing. Yeah, yeah, imitation, whatever, you get it. Oh, fuck. So thanks for that. And then the other thing I was wondering was like did you ever like did you have aspirations to act because I remember

Seeing you on the that was another cool thing when you popped up on the wrestler and I was you know I was such a big I was really looking forward to that move. Did we see that in theaters together? I think we did I think we did too Because I was a huge Aaronovowski fan. I was a big like the Mickey Rourke buzz. Yeah, everything was like, you know, I was like, whoa, this movie's gonna be sick and it was awesome. But then to also be a comedy fan and to see you pop up there. I was like, whoa, what the, this is fucking, and you were, I mean, it was great casting. You were great in it. And then wasn't, uh, wasn't Judith Frieda. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was a cool it was a very cool like Holy shit. Yeah, there weren't actually a lot of people in that movie really they really weren't no and you I mean you guys were both great because you both kind of they

I was great You know, I'm Joe Well, jute is what was funny, because it was almost like, he was playing like what this character on 30 Rock would actually be like. It was like kind of like a fucking dead-eyed wrestling fan that it looks like shit. Like they kind of spruced him up in 30 Rock to be funny. But you're like, that guy in real life

is at a fucking VFW. Just fucking being strange at at a wrestling show. But yeah, that must have been, were they just like, they were like, oh yeah, this guy would be perfect for this role. I somehow knew Darren, we were friendly and emailed each other. I don't even remember how that started weirdly. And then I,

I was in this restaurant in East Village and I walked in to eat by myself. And he was sitting with some people like that when I was meeting, so I just sat there and he walked by and he was like, I might have something for you. And I was like, the movie? And then he made this gesture like sweeping up, like he's gonna give me a janitorial job. So there it is.

So then it's like a few weeks past, and if you've listened a lot of my podcast appearances, I've told the story a lot. But for you know, it bears repeating. For the fresh, for Stavis World, I don't think I have people who like, I heard that, I've watched, heard you on 10 different podcasts. One, just listen to this one over here. I don't think I have people who like I heard that I've watched heard you on ten different pockets

One just listen to this one So then like a few weeks later I was like I am trying to play it cool, man I shouldn't be like Dude that thing you mentioned yeah, but then I did Like that man, check it any mention something then he just you want to do this part and he sent me the script and then Said yeah, do you want to do this part? And then he sent me the script. And then, I said, yeah, and then he, for some reason he didn't get the message that I want to do because do you want to do, I go, yeah, I definitely want to do it. And then I found out that I had to audition

for like the producer, I guess. So I went into the casting place and it was just Darren and the producer producer and I read through it once. I think I read through it half a, like a few cents in a second. I'm just see on set. That's awesome. I mean, it's not a story that I have told a lot. I mean, I've told that story a lot, but it's not typical as what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, totally. That's awesome though, because he clearly wanted you. Yeah, and I guess I was doing it for the money guy maybe. I don't know. Those guys don't know what the fuck they're talking about. So he was like, look, he was like, look, the guy, the money guy's like, well, I've never seen him, you know. And it could be that, I don't know.

I don't know exactly what happened, but I do know, it wasn't those things that I have to go home and wait. Do I wait a week to see if they could? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was just like right there hell yeah, that's awesome So you should it sounds like you need to be eating alone more to get more parts. Oh, man It's something eating alone got me more acting I would have I would be like I wouldn't have time to do this then you'll they lose Yeah, that's that's fucking sick dude and then did you hang around on the day's Marisa Tome was coming in?

No, we were. She was out of control in that movie. But she came into the cellar not too long ago. Oh, well. And sat at the table. And she's really not. I'd matter a few times on the film festival circuit. I don't know what their guests.

But I don't know if you've had other guests who went to the Venice film. No, no, no, no, no. I did not. But no, I didn't have any scenes with her and- Yeah, you were completely different from what we talked about. I'm barely talking to Mickey Rourke, but- Yeah, yeah, yeah, still. Yeah.

I would've been like, oh, I think I left my sweat- Oh, is this the day that Marissa's tits come out? I actually left my hat here. I'm coming to just find my hat. They're like, what are you talking about? Your scene was filmed at a completely different place. Ah, I left it with one of the craft services guys. He might have brought it.

Anyway, I'm just gonna hang out for the scene where her tits come out if that's okay with you guys. She was so hot in that movie. Geez Todd, that voice of yours, that throat doesn't sound so good. Sounds like it's kind of irritated, and if those cough drops aren't helping, you probably wouldn't be able to enjoy smoking your favorite cannabis out of a regular pipe or a join or something like that. In fact, it sounds like what you might need to do is enjoy icy smooth clouds and big

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Ah, in fact Todd, the magic behind freeze pipe is freezeable glycerin. This right here little buddy. It's the freezeable glycerin chambers that come on every piece. Pop this glycerin chamber in the freezer for one hour and it instantly cools smoke by over 300 degrees. Isn't that something? The result is a bigger, smoother ice cold puff without the throat burner coughing attacks.

Aaaaaah! Wow. Wow, look at that big smooth puff Todd. Pretty fucking cool. Ah, the freeze pipe feels fucking awesome. And I have asthma, so the fact that I only cough twice, that's a big three times, that's a big way for the fucking freeze pipe. How does it feel the smoke. God, I'm fucking awesome Todd. I fucking love this thing man.

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dabbings, vape pens, accessories, no matter your style, there's a chilly freeze pipe for you. Colder than the fall, Mr. Freeze's butt nut sack. Shop now at dfreezepipe.com and if you see something you like that's not on sale, use code Stavi for 10% off your entire order. That's ReeseBip.com. It code Stavi for 10% off. Pretty cool, hot Todd. Let me put this down now.

But anyway, I think what do you think, guys? I think it's time for us to help our friends here with some wisdom here. We got Todd drummer actor. You know, what can he do? What can he do? Floor to form a Florida resident. He's a triple threat, folks. He's got wisdom. I think you wisdom looking for

Anyone being friends with Joe good friends with Joe Jonas enemy of Sophie Turner We've he's got it all so why don't we take some questions and solve some problems here. I'll just play us a Place a call here pal Nice dickhead. Wow. You really fucking prepared for this one. Didn't give it a shot. Didn't think maybe I should have it downloaded ahead of time. It literally worked before.

Okay. Well, now when the show is happening, it's not working. Fucking idiot. Oh, cool. show is happening it's not working haha fucking idiot haha haha oh cool now the backup one isn't working either haha fucking dumbass

hey you, Darby and whatever beautiful guess is sitting on the couch and then that beautiful little bandian bastard as well I'm calling in because I have a friend and for that I'm in high school I have a friend and for that I'm in high school. I have a friend and he always is joking about wanting to kill himself. Like it's obviously a joke because like the funny guy like we're all like cracking jokes all the time. But it's just a little too much because it's like you can make like maybe one joke about wanting to kill yourself like once a day, maybe. But like when it's like three reason for a conversation, it's

bad. So I just like, I don't know how to approach him about this because like every time I do, I'm approached him, I'm like, hey man, you all right? You're like, I don't actually want it so much so I'm just making sure. I'm just trying to be funny. And it's like, okay, okay, but it's like, it keeps happening. And then then the past he's opened up to me about like actually genuinely Considering through this time that was a while ago. Yeah, so I'm not like worried about anymore But the jokes have been ramping up again recently So I just I just want to know, you know, maybe you've had a friend like this before or like You know, I just advice how I should approach about this. Maybe how I, you know, what could do with mind and begin with your therapy or something?

I don't know. I know. Yeah. That's it. Thanks for listening to me. Well, what do you got, Todd? I think that, I mean, that sounds unbearable to have to deal with that. Especially three times a day. Like, why hang out with this person this much? But I also think like, it's a fucking serious thing. thing and like they do say people joke about it before they do and and he has actually thought about doing it. I think you just got to say, hey, I know you're joking or I hope you're joking, but I'm going to always take this seriously. So I'm going to act accordingly. Yeah. And you're going to get you're going to get a wellness check if you keep talking. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the guy whether he would respond to that,

but I would probably get a gun with one bullet in it and spin it and say, do it. Do it then, motherfucker. I'm tired of hearing about this. And look, if it hits, it's Russian roulette, one out of five, one out of six chances, not gonna kill himself, but you've made your point that the jokes are annoying to you.

So that's kind of two schools of thought. You know this? I want to. No, I remember this though because I mean I feel like this kid, this kid's in high school too, right? This feels like us in high school, eldest, doesn't it? Didn't we talk about killing ourselves constantly? And you know, and this is gonna sound funny,

but the reason was because we did not get any pussy whatsoever. And there's probably more to it than that, I know. But like, what else is going on in your friend's life? Because we were just depressed high schoolers who did not, we're not getting pussy and we were constantly talking about killing ourselves. Because also who's the other thing?

We were not, you know, we weren't satisfied probably in any parts of our lives, right? Like, you know, our family situations were fucked up and we didn't know it at the time. You know, you go to therapy and you realize what's bumming you out and it's like, oh yeah, I'm my family, I'm trapped with my family. And I think your advice is really solid where it's like,

hey man, these seems to be ramping up again. Like, what's going on? It seems too much, man. Yeah. And at best, it's too much of the same time. Totally. Yes. It triggers me, I had to use the word triggers,

but it triggers me to go, because I'm gonna go home going, am I supposed to act on this? Yeah. Or am I supposed to go, hey, it was joking, and then it tells them stuff. I'm like, oh, I get, so you got to think of it from my perspective.

Right, right, right. I know you're possibly unbearable pain right now, but you are being annoying. You're talking to me, yeah, or let's be, tell me what's on your mind. No, I think so. I think that's true, because he said in the past,

he's opened up to him for real. And I think he's probably, this is his way. Here's the thing, high school kids are not talking about your emotions, clear communication, is not a strength of a 16 year old, a 17 year old. So yes, the same way he's timid about the rest of his life, he's probably timid about this. And so, is there resources, is there a school counselor,

is there somebody, is there is there resources like is there a school counselor? Is there somebody like is there mental health stuff you can help him with? And then also try and get him to open up to you, you know talk to him about it like Todd said like hey, man I just I'm trying I want to take this seriously because it feels like this is ramping up and it reminds me of the time that you You know you opened up to me. So what's up? You want to let's talk about this. And then like if he's depressed, you know, you're his boy, can you guys go have some fun stuff, you know what I mean? Like can you just go, because the thing that would make me the most depressed

when I was younger was feeling like nothing was ever gonna change that I was kind of trapped in these kinds of cycles. And there's also, high schools also pretty hopeful time too, or the end of it anyway, right? So it's like try and get his head in the game of like, hey man, I know this, even if there's stuff that sucks, we're close to college, we're gonna be out of the house soon.

Like, let's make a plan for that. Like, make plans for the future, go out to some parties. I was being facetious, but also try and get him a little pussy, be a little more, be a little more social in general, like seeing progress in your life, especially at that age, makes you feel really good, makes you feel like there's something to, you know, to kind of live for whatever. But yeah, I think you're right to just kind of check in on him in a real way, one-on-one. That's happened to me before. I've had people in my life who they don't want to open up and say it,

but sometimes if you just sit them down one-on-one or call them one-on-one and have the conversation, you'd be surprised how people will open up to you. And also, he did say that he really meant it a few times. Yeah, exactly. In the past, I was like, it's putting this guy in a really bad position. Yeah, yeah. So that's, you know, you're a good friend, you're a good bro. Yeah, it does seem like a good friend.

And so just actually, you know, actually talk to him about this and then like, you know, make some plans for the future and help him out on suicide. And so what do you do? You call a podcast. I hope that one of you, the 8,000 calls I got today. Like you guys selected. No. This guy does seem like he sincerely cares about it.

For sure. And luckily this will be a free episode. So hopefully you hear this. It's not a good enough charge for me. We'll put you on Patreon. Where's my account? Careful what you wish for. So yeah, good luck, buddy.

We were rooting for you and your friend, and trust me. If it makes him feel any better, we were depressed. Me and eldest were very depressed losers in high school ones. And look at us now, running a kind of successful podcast. Also, on the hall, I I mean you should take it seriously but yeah I do feel like in high school you do make a lot of suicide jokes kind of more of an edge-lord general. But the fact that he's like actually told him he thought about it is a little. Yeah but didn't we kind of think about it too.

You know what I mean like I don't mean to like be flippant for real but it's like I do think this is a little more, like obviously taking seriously, but I do think it is kind of common when you're a very unsatisfied line. I once called the Suicide Hotline because I just happened to glance it up one of my, seriously, one of my followers on Twitter

who put suicidal in their bio. Jesus Christ. And it just, that's why I'm feeling for this guy because it's like it tears your guilt thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I call it like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, but the dude said he's suicidal. I don't know him.

I don't like these jokes. I have no idea if it's a real, you know, but I'd feel like I'd have to at least call someone there like there's nothing where he can do. But then there was like, there's tweets any good, but there was a link actually where if someone is talking about self-harm you can click and at least there was but So I that was heroic with me. Yeah, yeah, oh fuck it. We got it here. Yeah, give him another one 36 years and also And I called the suicide hotline one time and they didn't do anything to help the person

All right, well good luck, buddy. We'll feel for you. And again, it gets better for, you know, it's not just true of closeted gay people. It's also true of like losers in high school. It gets better, baby. Here's with another one, Eld. Hey, soft.

So I've been in a relationship for five years. It's going great. I love my boyfriend. So there's this guy at work. Pretty much I work in a grocery store. I'm a manager of a department and he is the pharmacist inside the grocery store. You know, we were friendly at first, but recently, he keeps like coming over inviting me to like his DJing events at his condo, which has kind of been like, oh sorry, like I have plans, you know, just trying to see him every day. But now like he's like telling me like he has a private chef and that he can like get the chef to, it's sushi chef he's like oh I can like make you

sushi I can bring you sushi what kind of sushi do you want you want me to make you have a she with the layman y'all like you can come over like we can have fun while like the DJing event has happened and I was like oh like no like that's not necessary like I'm a simple guy like I'm okay with a stuff like as long as it's like catering for an event like it's a mistake That's what I want Pause yourself like I don't know like I'm just she said she's good with a sub That's a weird way to approach this but anyway play the whole thing. Let's I see where this is going

This is first of all who the fuck is this guy? He say far far was this is a good job The fuck are you doing being a DJ on the side? What a fucking weird loser. And then he's got a shit, but it's also not that good a job where you have a private jet. That's stuck out. Like you hired a guy for an hour. Yeah, yeah.

And he's like, we can have fun at the DJing event. This is, and she's in a five year relationship. There's like, there is red flag after red, like even if you weren't a relationship, this guy sounds like a fucking loser that sounds bad horrible or everything you're saying is atrocious but anyway finish the call elders as long as it's like catering for an event like it why does it matter what i want

and like i don't know like i'm just getting creeped out from him he's like twenty years older than me and it's just like, I don't know. Like I've already told him like no I'm dizzy and share but like he just won't stop. So like I'm considering, I don't know, I don't know what to do. Like he's obviously trying to wipe me and I'm not okay with that. Like what the fuck, I told my boyfriend about it, my boyfriend's like, can I beat his ass? I'm like, no, I need my job. So like, sure I go to HR because he hasn't said anything out of line, but he is kind of weird. So yeah, thanks

stop. I think for, yeah, he sounds like a nightmare. Surely, but I just feel like he's just kind of put it on the firm bound to go, just like boyfriend every sentence you can say. Yeah, I have boyfriend that's, yeah, I'm gonna hang out with my boyfriend. Yeah, and it's also like there is a little bit of, she's like, oh, I don't need all that,

I'm a simple, like, yeah, that's unnecessary to bring that up. Exactly, it's like, it's the kind of thing where it's like, it does feel a little bit of how women are socialized to be much nicer than they should be. Because this guy is steamrolling through all your social cues, all your boundaries, everything. And so you shouldn't feel, and you hear the little tinge of guilt even in her voice. Yeah. But she shouldn't, like, he's wearing her down like, like, exactly.

He's like, exactly. And it's like, you shouldn't feel this way. This guy is beat, you should be like, I mean, you know, don't, you, you, it's not, it's fucked up because he's put you in a position where if you're not the kind of person to have a firm boundary, like it's fucked up for a stranger

to make you kind of work on something. But it's like, you do kind of have to be like, yeah, the boyfriend thing or just like, hey, I'm really, you know, I'm just not interested in, I'm prefer if we could keep our conversations professional. Yeah. And like just set that up and then note it.

And then yes, I do think ultimately, going HR is not off the table here at all. No, I don't, I mean, I just think with HR, I think he deserves for her to go to HR. Yeah, yeah, boy. Then she might worry like, oh, is he gonna retaliate? Right. Because if he loses a job, and he's already

not the best person, now he's broke and. Yeah. I don't, yeah, I mean, I think just kidding the boundary heart and avoiding that guy's, like, why do they have to, why does, I think just kidding the boundary hard and avoiding that guys. Like, why do they have to, why does she have to talk to the pharmacist? I know, he's in a completely different part of the grocery store, I would think. Yeah, because I don't understand like the whole thing of like, oh, I'm simple gal, it's not about that.

Yeah. This guy inviting you exactly or anything. You don't need to engage him in terms of like, you're just like, I'm not really into that. I'd rather not. Or did he, I wonder if he invited the boyfriend too. I don't think so. I don't know. If it's like, I'm having people over,

then that's one thing, but this doesn't sound like it. But also, can you imagine something worse than a coworker who's not, let's say a coworker. Not trying to fuck you, inviting you over to his DJ event in his condo. I assume that's like the, you know, the shared space in a condo. It's like, what the fuck, what is, what are we in college? Then we're going to come over at the basement of the dorm and somebody DJs and there's a

Hibachi chef. First of all, where's this guy living? Like, this sounds like he lives in like a halfway home for divorced men. I've never heard of a more divorced setup than, hey, we're gonna DJ. I'm a 45 year old, 50 year old pharmacist and I'm gonna DJ, my friend's gonna DJ while we rent the Hibachi chef and we're all gonna try and fuck our 20 years younger than us co-workers. If you go there, what you're gonna see is like 12 like, you know, man, you just got on testosterone. It's also a chance. He'd show up and be the only person there.

Oh yeah, for sure. For sure. Like it could be a whole trap. No, it's a horrible thing. And you just have to be like, unfortunately, he's made you with his conduct. You have to just be like, I'm not interested. I have plans, I'm hanging out with my boyfriend. Anything you ask, are you available Thursday? Hang out with my boyfriend. How about Friday? Also hanging out with my boyfriend. Getting dinner with my boyfriend's parents on Friday.

Saturday and mix it up. Now I've got something I gotta do on Saturday. So you don't constantly bring a little bit. I think bringing up the boyfriend. But yeah, it's just weird. Like also, why is he, he must know she has a boyfriend and he's still really good. Dirty macking.

I mean, I think she's gotta let that. I'd like to see that her go to HR, but I also think that that could be complicated. Yeah, I think you're, I think that's probably, you're probably one step, you're probably like, there's more steps before that, but that should definitely be on the table. There's be like no thanks, and then try and phase them out.

But don't feel you need to ever engage with this guy. Don't feel you need to ever explain yourself. Yeah, I'd avoid him. You just physically literally avoid him as much as you can. Yeah, yeah. And then yeah, keep it in your back pocket, but you're right. It is like you never, you want to hopefully be able to resolve these things. In a perfect world, yes, you go to HR, and you're like, this guy's fucking weird, but he sounds like kind of a creep. He might, you know, he might be in-sell adjacent.

He sounds like an older in-sell, which is a tough type of in-sell to be. Or maybe he's getting, you know, maybe, maybe there are, you know, dumb bitches that wanna go to the condo, but make it clear you're not one of those dumb bitches. But yeah, sorry, this guy is kind of putting you in a fucked up position.

But yeah, I would say firm boundary and then keep HR in your back pocket, actually. And then your boyfriend doesn't have to beat his ass, but there's nothing wrong with your boyfriend picking you up from work one day. You know what I mean? Like, be like, you think your boyfriend's not gonna be able to control himself

and then beat this guy's ass. That would be hilarious to beat him up in the fucking Delhi meat section. Just stuffing fucking buffalo, salsa, Toledo, Turkey, and his fucking nostrils to beat him up in the fucking deli meat section. Just stuffing fucking buffle, salsa, lido, turkey, and his fucking nostrils, and fucking him up. That would be, that's a fun place for a fight. The wrestler. The rest, sure.

That could be a scene for the dead. Good job, Eldest. They did have physical altercations in the wrestler. What a call back. Did you guys know how it was in that movie? No, it's in that movie? In that movie. Oh, he worked in the deli. Oh, yeah, my bad. You got me. It's not that. You got me. I was trying to remember There's a different movie where there is a fight in a grocery store and I couldn't remember. I can't remember which one um

Just fucking All right, whatever. All right, you did it just fucking all right whatever all right play it play us another one there you're right he did work in the valley that's on me folks hey stovie hail this love the podcast I have a problem that I think you're going to really enjoy and that is that I was banging my roommate I'm 32 32, she's 27. Okay. We were complete strangers and we moved in together in May of last year. Paws blown away at how attracted it.

Listen to the glee in this fucking guy's voice. Hey guys, you can hear his teeth smile. You can hear his lips curled up in a smile. This guy's looking like the fucking the Joker right now. Hello guys. I fucked my roommate. Anyway, keep going. Girl, she's exactly my type. Five foot one, super fit, red hair, very cute and doesn't want kids. One thing to make awkward, so it's always very respectful. He wasn't supposed to. He's a gadget. He doesn't want kids, man.

This is so fucking funny. You're fucking your roommate and that comes up. Although I don't want to, just in case this guy also could be on the spectrum. I am getting a little bit of that vibe from as well, so I don't want to be ableist here. But anyway, keep going. But after five months of living together, we go out for Halloween weekend. She was also brought to Browse, which is like some anime character, and I was forced to go up while he was running. And we ended up making fun of this for this for the first time.

Wow, it's real specific for a skunk. He's not just for a skunk. He's running gump. And I mean, yeah. For a skunk when he was eating ice cream. Yeah. I was when he was contracting aids from jenny but okay now the maybe he is artist with each detail i'm like okay this guy

might be autistic there's not a more on the spectrum hero than forest gum anyway keep going uh... next time you tell each other about a week later, we went to my room and we banged, which was pretty neat. I noticed that these worlds are the pro-pussy eating podcast. I'm very happy to report that you'd be very proud of me. And after the initial banging, we ended up spending every night together, where we were banging all the time. And I'm pretty confident I was laying at least all right, Pike. But after a a couple weeks of doing this in the same birth after for exclusive

and not because i feelings for but because i want to rob that quickly all my god that's getting to know and i believe her because we're spending every night together but i'm just a conversation we ever back he said i but she said she wasn't begging everyone else and i believe her is a very nice by the way beautiful way for the slither out of that one. You want to be exclusive while I'm not fucking anybody else.

She didn't say yes, pal. She said she wasn't fucking anyone at that time. She just fucking got your ass, but anyway, keep going. Again. She starts avoiding me. And after a week, I just three up after her for still a thing. She says no, and that's fine. It's never been super awkward or anything.

And we're mature about it. But last word to today, 10 months later, and I'm a little bit of a dry spell. I'm not right looking dude, and can usually get laid but not recently. I've only been laid a couple of times since her. So my question for you is, how do I band my roommate again? Help me, Stubby Baby.

You're my only hope. All right, thank you. I love them. All right, so I want to take back again. Help me, Staudi, baby. You're my only hope. All right, thank God. Thank God, them. All right, so I want to take back the stuff I said because this guy is without question 100% autistic. He's like, it's not awkward. We're very adult about it.

100% it's awkward. 100% she just changed her mind and you're missing a social keyword too. And to try and fuck her again after she made it pretty clear, she doesn't want to end your roommates is insane. I don't understand like the whole thing like, well we were able to avoid each other, where it didn't go in the kitchen.

Yeah, yeah. Helping's a department. Yeah. Yeah, that's, he shit. So he put these other two women, he said he banged. He banged. He banged. He has banged two other women's. Yeah, why not them?

Why aren't they the ones? Is he bringing them home to his place when she's in the next room? My guess is yes because that's, you know, but who knows? I think he probably, if I had to guess, Tress tried to fuck them again and it was kind of like a, you know, not gonna happen thing. And it looks like, look, here, what he did wrong was he slayed the golden goose.

He slayed the go, like, she probably would have kept fucking you at least a few more times without you, but you had to immediately ask to be your boyfriend, which is, you know, and he even said, it wasn't because I was excluded, it's not because I cared about her, it's because I wanted to Raw Dog,

which is pretty abhorrent behavior Will you marry me? I just I don't want to marry you I'd like to raw dog you. I'd love to go in I'd love to go and own natural He came in way too hot. I feel like he could have worked out a raw dog arrangement This guy blew it 10 ways to Sunday also he probably did just catch feelings and that just is literally looking back bolstered excuse to him. Oh yeah, I don't care. Oh dude, this bitch.

It's a little provodinal thing there. I don't know though dude, cause again, not to be, but I think he really was looking, let's just put it this way. I think he was looking at it from like a mathematical equations perspective. So I kinda. I think, go ahead at it from like a mathematical equations perspective. So I kind of

think uh go ahead. No, no, please. I was gonna say I think it's probably best not to be banging your roommate. 100%. That's one of the most so maybe it's just except and and fully for the best. And in fact the only way I would suggest you fuck your roommate again is if you move out and then you can try her again. Look, we've all been there. Everybody's gone through the text, but everyone's gone through the old people that used to fuck you. Everyone's, everyone's replied with heart eyes to an Instagram story. By the way, Halloween, one of the top times to get back in there. Someone, someone, you see an Instagram story with a hot costume, you're like, you crush this and then see where it goes from there.

But yeah, dude, this is a bad idea. Just try and get your, when we're pussy starved, we make crazy decisions. And this is one of those. I mean, that could have conceivably ended really badly. And it's not like she just, I'm not into this anymore. Exactly. Except that, leave her alone and be happy that it didn't end. that could have conceivably ended really badly. And it's not like she just, I'm not into this anymore. Exactly.

Accept that, leave her alone, and be happy that it didn't end fully, really ugly way. 100%. Exactly. That's a great point. These are, someone has to move out, 98% of the time this happens. If they people, people either start dating for a while and even then at the end of

that they usually have to fucking move out. So you figured out a way where you don't have to get a new apartment. So until you're getting you addressed, don't try and fuck this woman. I don't, I don't try. First of all, it's a high level maneuver to pull it off once and I think you lucked into it to pull it off twice unless you're like oh the least is up into mom this is you but even then you're being kind of a dickhead she clearly you asked her pretty clearly are we still think she very clearly said no and you're trying to like you're trying to bring it up again it's one thing if you haven't seen the person and you can you get desperate you can make up a narrative about how she might want to fuck you

But you've seen this woman every day. You know she doesn't want to fuck you again Just move on pal. Keep the dry spell. This is not the solution to the dry spell You're drinking this is like being like I'm really thirsty. Should I try and suck some? Should I suck the water out of some mud? That's what you're trying to do here. Don't do it. Next question, Big Eldi. You saw a paint oldest. I need your help. How do I ask when I have been illusory? So he's always been a naturally fit. I can't start again. I can't hear shit oldest. And put the volume up. I'll pay Elders. I need your help. How do I ask when I have no use waiting? So he's always been a naturally

fit man. You've used to get whatever the heck you want. Do you have the transcription? No, I can turn the speaker up a little. Man, how about you do a different question? Yeah, yeah. You're gonna get out in front of the fucking speaker, fuck it up for the rest of the podcast we have to do. So we can hear about this bitch who's I from what I can tell trying to get her fat husband a little less fat. What's up, Gabi? What's up, Eldes? What's up, the guest? So I'm married. I've been married for a while and my high school ex also got married within like a year of me. Obviously many years after we

dated and we ran into each other a few times around our hometown whatever. Just recently he called me drunk and told me that he's still in love with me. What? But he has four kids and he's married. Do I do anything? Do I tell my husband? Do I tell his wife? Do I tell anybody? Oh, this is what I was talking about. This is a...

Whatever. Anyway, we'll let some input from some fellows. Kind of, I think he's just a dirt bag, right? Yes. Yeah, I think he's just a dirtbag, right? Yes. Yeah, I think he's just a dirtbag and I proceed accordingly. I think this is a classic. Do not be angry. All right, look at that. Fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stone fuck you. Or tell him not interested. Yes, by the way, this is like that last guy on steroids. Trying to fuck your old roommate is one thing. Trying to fuck the girl you dated in high school. Fucking 15 years later and you both have kids and are married is like the most pathetic loser move

of all time. That's not what you call a drunk. I exactly, what are you still in high school? You can't tell a girl you're trying to, it's like Jesus dude, this is truly pathetic behavior. This guy's a fucking loser. Now, our friend here clearly is not interested, and I would say absolutely to do not engage,

but I also think I would tell your husband, if I was you, just on some like, just to be very clear, I have no interest in this at all. This is a fucked up weird thing that happened to me. I just wanted to let you know, cause in case it came up somehow, it's not weird. Like, I think that's fine. I don't think you have to tell his wife,

now we're getting messy. You know, she probably knows her husband as a fucking piece of shit. And he probably, you know, he probably, I'd be curious to know how long like is he calling more than what? Did he just, if it's the one phone call and then he sobered up and might be like,

I wouldn't I do? Yeah, there might be a one just let it go away. I might allow one phone call grace period, but if he tries to make any kind of... Yeah, I think a second time is a real problem. But even then, it's like a part of me still feels like, like put yourself in her husband shoes. Yeah.

I'd like to know if some guy called my wife and told her he was in love with her. You're the only, I don't know, you're not married, are you tired? No. No, L, this is the only married man on the thing. If your girl's high school boyfriend called her and drunk and said she was in love with you, you'd want to know, right?

Yeah, I think that. If I knew the whole picture and knew that she handled it and said, of course, I'm not saying shut it down, then I guess she wouldn't have to tell me, but it feels good to, probably feel good to hear this clown is hitting on it. It's totally, and I shut them down. Exactly. I think it's actually kind of an opportunity to build trust in your relationship at the expense of this Bozo who's trying to get some

putt trying to like, oh my God, if, if, what the last guy was doing was trying to drink water out of mud, this guy is trying to suck moisture out of a turd that's been dried for 10 years. I hate this guy. He's got fucking four kids. He's a piece of shit. I'm glad that I was worried about where that was headed because I thought you could be like, should I hang out with him? Yeah, yeah. And that she doesn't.

Thank God we have good moral people here in the stock of this world. Our listeners are some of the best people in the world. Let's get another one going out decimals a workshop love the podcast but we can't you can uh... so my

issue is i have this roommate that had to pick out because when rent with you he ended up giving me $300 instead of 900 and then he tells me this is about on the fifth so it's a great experience. It was a late-beat. Anyways you had to tell him hey man you're going to give me this. Like I picked you out. Oh, it was the bull? My issue is more of, I might see this guy somewhere around

town. So? And you know, he's not answering my phone calls or any my text to get any of that money. So he's still owes me that money right now. But does he live with you? No. So I'm asking do I take the law?

Or when I do see him, do I confront him about it and tell him, like, hey, man, you need to take me to his money? Not only is he why, I'm like kind of scared. Some kind of like thing about taking the law to the side very done with him all the time. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. That's just $300. I'll find another way to get $300 worth a shot. Yeah, fuck dude. So yeah, I just just give me your opinion on what you think I should do. It's like

you're right. I mean, hopefully by the time I run it, I'm gonna hit my money. But I don't have no chance to give you a man. That's cute. I'm confused. It's like, how did the guy end up leaving the? The living situation. So basically, our friend who called in, the guy owed him what he said 900 dollars 600 his rent was 900 but he only gave 300 right so his remembers but his Rums 900 the guy pays him three of the nine our friend who calls in says you got to go the guy leaves apparently But he still has him 600 bucks. So I would now it depends what kind of guy you are, right?

Elders, you were owed money for a long time by a former roommate, weren't you? Yes. And I, essentially what I did over the course of like a year, maybe a year and changed to this guy, was basically like cyber bully him. And like text him constantly. After a while, I was like, I need this fucking money back. And I was like hitting him up like text him constantly after a while

I was like I need this fucking money. Yeah, and I was like hitting him up like every day like twice a day I can just like sense that you know must have made him so uncomfortable every time we looked at his phone That's awesome. He did eventually pay up, but it was like that's a lot of work And that was like so sticking to what was What was the, how much money was this? Probably like 800 bucks. Oh, that's a good amount of money. Right. No, no, that makes sense.

Damn, dude. Good for you. Guys, oh, 600, right? This guy's owed $600. That's a lot of money, $600. It is. To me, yeah, the cutoff is like 150. Even when I was broke, it was like,

if it's too much of a pain in the ass, and it's 150 or less, whatever. But 600 is a good amount of money. Have you ever not been paid for a gig? I've had a check bounce, and that was brutal, but shout out to, there was a local promoter who did actually get me the money after a while, so shout out to him, but I have had, you know,

people have been like, they said it was gonna be one thing and they're like, oh, we didn't make as much money. I mean, early on, yes, I got fucked a couple times with like, they said it's 400 bucks and you get there, it's like, yeah, man, we didn't sell any tickets, it's 150 bucks, it's like, well, that's not my issue. I'm not a famous, like, I didn't have a door deal. You know who I am, I'm just some fucking guy this. I didn't have a door deal. You know who I am.

I'm just some fucking guy in Baltimore. You told me there's this much money. But yes, I've, I haven't, it's been little shit like that. Overall, I've been lucky to not anything crazy. Have you been stiffed crazy? Yeah, a few times. Um, there's one guy I'm almost tempted to say his name out loud, but I'm not talking to it. But it's just. I did the gig. And... No. Was it him? It was in Jersey, I'm not saying it didn't Jersey. Block out what I said. Bleep out who I said.

And I did the gig and then he's like afterwards it got a little weird. I think he promised this venue, like with a restaurant, that he's going to pack the place. Right. And then they didn't want to pay him. So they didn't even pay me. But I had lawyers after him.

I had good for you. And at some point You're getting more now. Yeah, and he just like yeah, and it sure take the L Felt nice, but I feel like this guy Unless he really thinks he's gonna get killed. I mean the guy might have guns, but is he gonna kill you? I mean, the guy might have guns, but is he gonna kill you? I don't know. I mean, the guy would be killed. That isn't good. That isn't good question. He would be killing, probably killing people every day

over some little dispute. But I feel like you should just do a real straightforward. I assume you're gonna pay me back. With that in your back of your mind, and just go, when are you gonna pay me 600 bucks? We need that. For sure. And then you could do a small claims court,

but it sounds like I wonder if he had something in writing. Yeah, true, because it's the other thing is like, if you're a guy, in this apartment for years, we just didn't have a lease. Like we signed a lease once, and then our landlord never made us sign it again. And we had people, we had so many different people live here at a certain point

that if somebody wanted to fuck me, I had no piece of paper that said they owed us. You know what I mean? So I wonder if it's one of those situations. I mean, it could be a casual like. Yeah, I mean, come over, rent 900. It's in my name kind of thing. I mean, in the fact that the guy left when he said

you gotta go is pretty good sign. Good sign. But it also might be a sign of this is kind of scam, which is like, all right, he got me. So I got one month of reduced rent. I'd say give it a little, I mean, part of me always wants to get my money. Yeah, of course.

The big part of me. And I expect to get paid today. I'm not gonna get paid. But at the same time, I could just see, am I gonna make this my life? Totally. To chase down that. But it will feel great if you got that money.

I mean, Elders, how good did it feel when you got that money? It was fucking awesome. Yeah. Because you were after a long time. I was after a long time and I was just like, well, I don't think I'm actually gonna get this back But I do just want to ruin this guy's day

Hey just following up on the Respect to you for doing that he was your roommate. Yeah, here's my roommate So annoying. Respect to you for doing that. He was your roommate? Yeah, he was my roommate. I thought about, he was like a bartender. He was like, maybe like a year or two younger than me. So what?

No, I know, I know, but it's not fucking bills. Yeah, you paid it. You were broke. You had an embarrassing job at the time too. I mean, he had a better, he probably made better money than you as much to deal with. I think it was like 800 bucks. That's a nice chunk of change back then, dude.

I know. But yeah, I feel like Todd is. I said, nice sugar change back then, dude. I know. But yeah, I feel like Todd is right here like, you know, well, not getting the 600 ruin you and, you know, well, you like, are you just trying to get this money back because you're like seaving with anger? Well, I think, I mean, you know, it's a good amount of money. It's a lot of money.

Unless you're a billionaire, $600, you can buy groceries for two months. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I think, yes, is you gonna kill you as a good idea? You're a little too quick to write it off. I think at minimum, you have to, yes. Like, hey man, I'm following up here. Do the eldest method of like fucking barrage him.

Anyway, you can. I think the message you should send is, if you think that I'm just gonna let this slide, then you're wrong. I don't wanna get a lawyer, I have one ready to go, just, you know, I don't wanna be. Yeah, exactly. I totally, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get a lawyer. And then just, yeah, because I don't think he should just let it slide. No, I think that should be the last resort. At a minimum, he has to threaten you with violence before you start. Because you're kind of assuming he'll be violent, but you know, he might not be and he might be.

And I would do everything in writing. Yeah, emails, emails, texts, DMs, hit him up, hit it if he's ignoring your phone calls, try him a bunch of different ways. And then like, look, if he threatens your fucking life, then maybe it's not worth it. But then you could also go to the police. Yeah, then you got, yeah, you thought you had a bad

with only me $600. Yeah. And I was gonna jail mother fuck. I think, yeah, I think you should just say, I would like it by this date. Yeah. And if it doesn't, then I'm gonna, I have to take it to another level and I don't want to. Right, right, right. I don't wanna go finding a date. Yeah. And if it doesn't, then I'm going to have to take it to another level and I don't want

to. Right. Right. Right. I don't want to go finding a lawyer. Yeah. Can we just figure this out? Be so easy to find one at the same time.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Just like firm and consistent. And it's also without being like angry. Like, calm was a professional tone with him. Yeah.

You want to keep the emotions out of it. And you should be like, hey, I'm not forgetting about this for my entire life. So yeah, and if you don't want to do that, if you think $600 is not worth that, that is ultimately your prerogative, but I think that's also, you might be a coward and you don't want to live the rest of your life that way. Yeah, so, something to consider my friend.

Hit us with another one, Big LD. So I'm gonna consider my friend. Hit us with another one, Big LD. Yeah, I'll help it. Liam, I just left a voicemail like 30 minutes ago. It was kind of trash. I re-worded it, so you just one set. Cool, man. Yo, what up, stop, it's your boy, Liam.

So I've been seeing my current therapist for about nine, ten years now. And he's great. The best therapist I've ever had. He's this wonderful, old, nice Jewish man. He knows the ins and outs of my life. He's helped me get through a lot of stuff, worked through a lot of different issues that I've had with my career and family and friends and such. But, you know, I feel like we've hit a wall and he hasn't been as helpful to me lately. It's not just that overnight thing. It's kind of been a couple months now.

You know, kind of given me the, oh, that's so hard and kind of gassing me a bit instead of helping me work through issues. And yeah, you yeah, I think the relationship has run its course, so thinking about parting ways and looking for a new therapist who can help me work on different problems and help me tackle different things I'm trying to go through. What would you recommend that I look for in the new therapist? What are some green flags, what are some red flags that you think I should keep in high-out when when searching for a new therapist help you work through my issues? All right, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thanks, Frank. A lot of interesting assumptions in this call. Yeah, I mean, the problem with that is that, finding like, you need a dentist to do a filling. You can probably find one for easy, but then someone you're gonna pour your guts out.

It's tough. And he's invested like 10 years with this other guy. Yeah. So he's got to start over. It's weird. But I think, I mean, it's just a matter of feeling comfortable with the person you're talking to, even one self, but I don't even know how you find.

I don't even, yeah, are you a therapy guy? Hey, it's none of your business. Yeah, I am. I've had the same therapist for like 10 years. Yeah. Well, I think there's a couple things here. When I've had a couple different therapists and I think, well, first of all,

the assumption that it's your therapist fault, here's the other thing, I love, therapy's been very helpful for me, right? It's helped me work on a couple specific issues really well and I've actually taken a break. The schedule has been so crazy and I haven't. I actually had one, I had a couple, I had a really busy month and I just didn't see my therapist and then I haven't gone in a while. And to be honest, I'm starting to feel the effects. I think I got to get back in there. But for a while, I was just seeing my therapist once a month or just kind of like a maintenance thing, right?

Like, I don't know that necessarily, what are, I would ask you, what are the issues you wanna work on? Is it possible that you and this guy, it's not that your relationship is on its course, but it's that, hey, you're at a point in your life where most of your like deep seated issues aren't fucking up your life.

Maybe you guys have done a good amount of work together already. And maybe you're in more of a maintenance phase with therapy where it's like, yeah, check in. Maybe shit doesn't happen for you week to week that you need to see him, right? Maybe you just need to fucking let it pile up a little bit, go see him once a month. Because the process of finding you therapist, like Todd said,

it's tough. You gotta find somebody that makes you therapist, like Todd said, it's tough. You got to find somebody that makes you feel comfortable and, you know, it can be difficult. And I guess I would just say, do you really feel like you need to go constantly? Do you think it's a relationship that's right? It's course. Do you think that maybe, like, what are you trying to get out of another therapist? What are the things you want to work on? Yeah, there's always those days when you have a therapy.

You're like, I don't know what I want to talk about. That's what I'm talking about. I'll get through this, but like, I know. I'm just kind of throwing money out the window. Of course, one time I had one of the best nights of my life and I slept over at a place in the city. I woke up beaming. I'm just getting, I won't go into too much detail,

but it was a really cool evening. And I had to go in there and be like, yeah, I just fucked two girls. I don't care about my problems. You know what I mean? Like, I'm fucking giving a fuck today about therapy. That's just through a hunt. I'm just sitting here smiling for an hour, and that cost me $200 or whatever the fuck it was. And I literally took a city bike from some weird apartment in Harlem to my therapist was at the upper west side at the time. And I was just like, dog is just an awesome. This is one of the best days of my life.

I don't need that, I don't have shit to tell you. Canceled, canceled appointments. Yeah, I should have canceled. Yeah, I really should have canceled. It popped up on my Google calendar therapy. And a half hour I was like, what? I was like, fuck, I really should have canceled it popped up on my Google calendar therapy and a half hour I was like what? I was like fuck I gotta go But I also have definitely had those situations where I feel like my therapist is kind of phoning it in sometimes Where you're just like you just like or you have a early morning session

You see the motherfucker kind of dosing off and you're just like yeah, I've had a therapist who was really good But you would occasion, are you sleeping? Yeah. Are you fucking sleeping? Yeah. So, you know, I would say think about it. And then even when you're in therapy, this is my personal opinion. I'm not a fuck, obviously you guys know this.

It's crazy that people, you know, call in. I'm just some fucking dumb ass. But my opinion is that it's really helped me when I go to therapy with specific issues I wanna work on. So if you have something specific, bring it up to them, but if you're just going in there, thinking this guy is gonna like needle it you and ask you,

are you sad about your dad today? That's not really his job. Maybe it is a little bit when you're trying to get to know you, but he knows you. Yeah, I'm wondering if he should talk to this therapist about like, hey, I'm feeling like you're not into this anymore. Yeah, exactly.

Or I feel like I'm not making his progress. Because my therapist always wants feedback. Interesting. Yeah, interesting. And she got excited when I criticized her. Yeah, interesting. And so yeah, I think that's something you could even discuss.

And I would, my read on the situation, again, not knowing specifics is just like Yeah, maybe dial it back a little bit go every two weeks go once a month whatever You know, I've also heard I heard this reason that you should change your therapist every five years, but I don't I didn't know that I don't know who I heard that from yeah, just whether it's accurate or if it's just to do just I've heard plenty of stuff. Yeah, so I don't know. I guess, yeah, I guess that is something

to discuss with your therapist. But I think the idea may be not pressuring it like making it once a week, just go, yeah, because I'll go weeks without it. Totally, totally. And then if you feel like you need it, maybe this person knows you're a good resource, but you know

That I guess that's that's really all we can tell you do you fab shit you still want to work on if not You know, maybe just dial it back Take us home with a nice one here eldest Hey stop my name is Mo mo. I got a real dilemma. So the guy I work with, right? He's a very, very degenerate gambler. And he actually lost his house a few years ago. Holy shit. He lost. And he has to hide it from his wife. And we're in a legal state where you can do it online. So he basically just gives me his Cash up front and then I'll go deposit it

But I don't actually put the bets in the app. I'm kind of like small time booking and I mean this guy loses like 500 a week like I pay my rent like off the suits like monthly I mean, I love the guy to death he's like a good friend but I haven't told him I'm doing this and everyone's doing it and I was just kind of like pissed at me but the way I see it I think that the money is better off in my pocket than going to like fan do it so I'm just kind of like this crossroads of like, you know, am I a good guy for doing this? No. This guy's a fucking mush that loses

every fucking bet. We can answer that question. And like, I don't know. I feel kind of bad, but at the same time, I'm justifying it in my own mind. So I just want to revise to know like, if I should keep doing this with this guy, or am I kind of fucking him over to But in my mind, I think we'll run off to another bookie because I mean the guys ran through everybody in the city He just picked some but obviously I work with the guys so he can't stick me But I like to know you think thanks man. Well, okay. Can you give me the bullet points and what I didn't follow that completely

Yeah, yeah, yeah so friend bats so okay he's got a friend who's a complete loser right this guy's one of the worst gamblers of all time his wife won't allow him to gamble anymore so he's using our our friend here who called in as the go-between to place his bets right but the friend knows his knows are the caller knows his friend is gonna lose his bets so he just never puts in any bets and he keeps the money. And the guy thinks he's just lost the bets, but every time every losing bet the guy just keeps the money. That would be called a Ponzi scheme.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now look, here's what it would what you should do if you're a good friend is never put in a bet and just put the money in a bank account for it for his fucking kids. What about it? You should open up a fucking college fund for his kids under his kids' names and put the money in. And listen, you want to keep the odd 20 bucks here or there for your troubles. You could take a person, you could take a, here's the nice middle road.

You're like a money manager for him. You take 5% of everything, but the rest goes in a fucking bank account for his children's college funds. But what if, I mean, doesn't this guy keep track of whether he won the bet or not? He doesn't win. But like zero percent, like never wins.

Oh, and overall loser, most gamblers are overall loser. I know, but occasionally you do win. Then he gives him the money. Oh, he does, okay, but that's the thing It's like he loses he loses more if even if you're losing at 60% what does he have the money to give him if he's yeah He has if he doesn't bet it yeah aren't some bets like doesn't it depend on the odds or something? He's just got playing some crazy. Yeah, I mean listen if this guy nails some crazy parlay Some fucking 12 leg parlay and it's bet a hundred dollars to win 40 grand the

guys probably fucked then but he's also he's basically he is not to his credit he is gambling this guy's basically gambling so I guess the real question here is you want to know if you're a good guy or not if this guy won a forty thousand dollar bet would you give him the money if the answer is no no, then you're a piece of shit. And I think you know in your heart, you're a piece of shit for this. So, my, literally, my advice is, I'm not kidding at all.

Open an account in his child's name with the money and keep 5% if you want to. That's the middle ground here. Now, if he wins, you're fucked, but he's not gonna win, he is a mush. So So I don't know what to advise this guy because he is stealing his friend's money. He's purely still and I, and I sort of know what he's saying. Because if, if he just gave him the, if at the end of the year, he gave him the money back. He's like, here's 40, here's $10,000 that you bet with me, right? That you thought you lost.

Here's 10K. The guy is immediately gambling the money, right? So you thought you lost. Here's 10k. The guy is immediately gambling the money, right? So I kind of see what he's saying. Yeah, but there's, but at the same time, that's why I would say literally I'm, I'm not even kidding. This is my advice. Open a fucking account in his child's name because that's who's getting fucked here. This is children and his wife opening his wife's name, whatever, and keep 5% as a broker's fee. But yeah, you are just to be very clear. You are stealing from him. You are doing something immoral.

Your friends are right to be pissed at you. Again, unless you were doing something kind of good for him, you're just stealing. Then you would be being a good friend, but you know This is insane. I mean it's respect on some level to you But here's the other thing if you want to do this become a fucking book You're really gonna be a bookie be a bookie, but he knows You don't want to you don't want to take on the risk of what being a bookie is because most guys Aren't gonna give you the money this easy. You're gonna have to get in business with somebody, or you yourself are gonna start having to fuck people up.

He's just giving you the ability to just like freely steal money from him because he's a fucking idiot. But it's your friend that's, I'm sorry, it is fucked up. So that's our moral and ethical ruling, and what I would tell you to do is to flip your karma from now on deposited in a bank account for his child or his wife or whoever the fuck, but it can't be him. Alright, that was pretty fun. I mean, I respect this guy

for being like, I see a way to make money. I do kind of see where you're coming from but ultimately you're being a dickhead All right, well listen that's gonna do for us Todd. Thanks for coming. Thanks for having us. It's so fun Yeah, it's really fun super fun. Go watch the special and but by the time this comes out Let's probably come out a few weeks I think my announcement for my special should be out already. So soon in December 5th I believe my special will be coming out. Watch out for that on the big end. On the end word. It's streaming there. And yeah, that's gonna do for us folks. Thanks for coming. We'll see you next time. Bye bye. Yeah, man. That was fun

I'll just you know I was thinking the other day. I love you know what I love mango the fruit I love it sweet. It's delicious and I was eating a piece of mango Pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off, being like, this actually, one time after a day, I was like,

wanna come back with some fruit salad? And I thought it was smooth. And then some girl after she fucking was like, that was so weird You asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't dry and I didn't I wasn't drinking at the time Well, they say mangoes are an effort easy. Yeah. Well, here's the thing I'll thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango and I've often times I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards Yeah, and I was thinking to myself What if this mango made my dick hard? Now that would be something else that be awesome and I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game

You know, I'm a dick pill evangelist. Oh, yeah, you know, I'm an ED I've tried them all from the gas stations to other other services. MangoRx now has a new ED poll that is game changing, okay? Really? Tastes like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, Eld. They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick

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Yes, one little gleam. One little gleam when I turned my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. I don't know. Yeah, cause like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science shit in here.

They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard science in the field, right? People who have a beautiful goal, here's their mission, make America hard again, eldest. They have, you know, let's get, Can we get... Fuck, fucking idiot. There you go, sorry.

We tried to give it the applause it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again. I think on... Whatever the side of the aisle you're on, conservative, liberal, leftist, centrist, we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks,

all this division in the world would go away, eldest. I think this is such a good product, eldest. I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on ED, medication in general, because look, here's the thing about mango orics. You might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal. Yeah. All right.

I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed. You've seen me take getables so far.

That's true. Just because you wanted a little dummy. I'm not sure of a snack, because that's so much why I had to get high as well. I've seen you take weed adibles. I've seen you take fiber adibles where you're shitting yourself, because you wanted a momentary snack. I've seen you take thumbs on an empty stomach,

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That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.

It was a big house with multiple rooms, and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family

for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. wedding or justification get an Airbnb.