Stavvy's World - #55 - Chris Distefano

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

Chris Distefano returns to the pod to spread some holiday cheer, talk about his coming-to-Christ moment, recall the time his dad ate so much lasagna that doctors thought he was going to die, and much more. Chris and Stav help callers including a man wondering if he should throw a New Years/birthday party two weeks late, and a guy who wants to know what to get his soon-to-be father-in-law after he generously offered to pay a lot of money for his upcoming wedding. See Chris Distefano live and check out his comedy: https://chrisdcomedy.com/ Follow Chris Distefano on social media: http://instagram.com/chrisdcomedy https://www.youtube.com/chrisdcomedy http://facebook.com/chrisdcomedy https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy https://patreon.com/chrisdcomedy http://tiktok.com/@chrisdcomedy Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

WAPA! Welcome everybody to Starfish World, 904-800-STOP, call in and solve all your problems. It's Christmas, Christmas time baby. We got Chrissy Christmas tree. That's hip in the building. Chrissy Christmas tree. I'm here giving gifts. One of the gifts I'd like to give to you is the book The Case for Christ I've been reading it. Really? Yes, do I? Are you reconnecting? I'm reconnecting and let me tell you something Just know that I'm in a phase right now if you see me in the street and you talk shit about Catholicism I am in active crusade mode because the amount of corroborating evidence that confirms not only Jesus's existence But his miracles is overwhelming So overwhelming overwhelming your kidding right where the God you it is so overwhelming is overwhelming it's

overwhelming and I will fight you to the death because I am at the center first what are give me one piece of evidence okay dude first of all it's this birth thing week I don't want to shit on the guy but go ahead go ahead and ask you that's let me ask you you boys this right now if I told if I, if I regurgitated facts about Alexander the Great, you would believe them. You would say yes, that happened,

because I said it happened, because I read a book about him that said it happened, right? Would you question me, Alexander the Great's conquests and all that stuff? I guess I would be, I mean, it depends, what you'd say, right? Like give me an example. Like I'm just saying, like if I, you know,

you made it all the way, he almost made it to India or something like that or he conquered Persia. Well, Alexander the Great's habits, if I said, you know, I learned that Alexander the Great, you know, you stood, whatever, you know, have sex with elephants, you'd say, that's probably true, is biographer said it was true, it's true. Right, and the big thing with Jesus is,

well, the books about him Jesus is well, his, the books about him and his life and his miracles were written hundreds of years after his death. It's like a game of telephone. It doesn't work. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, I'm here to tell you. I'm here to tell you, as a defender of Christ, that Alexander the Great's biography and everything we know about Alexander the Great was written 600 hundred years after his death jesus everything everything jesus any contemporary sources not from this book uh... also they were uh... i see this is the case for christ case against al jayna the great

so you all your research is what the guy who wrote the case for christ old yes and i agree and i don't know how to trouble and this can you just Google a contemporary sources Alexander the Great? Just, just let's see what Google comes up with, but go ahead. So, so with Christ, it was even, one of them, one of the books actually was written within five years of his service.

Contemporary, Suroon accounts of his life include Alexander's campaign history, Calisthenes. Alexander's generals told me in the archives are a stove below So junior officer on the campaigns and only as Christus Alexander's chief helmsman so just immediately we found Five Primary accounts from his life, so there you go Chris One quick Google search

Primary Please go That's the same legit. Of this Google search. Jesus is as legit as it could be. Oh, he is not. And even his haters who wrote about him disfaraging him who didn't even believe any of his bullshit in his lifetime and he died hating Jesus all acknowledged that he was, something was different about him and they talked about his

thing. I had good vibes. The guy had a spark. They talked about his miraculous works. Now. Wow. Now this is what's more interesting to me, you know, is what happened in your life that put you down this path?

Okay. What are you trying to make up for? So, you know what I mean? Did you get sucked off in Utah? And you know. And then you Did you get sucked off in Utah? And you know, and then you saw your beautiful family. And you're like, well, how am I living like this? I need, I need Christ.

You know what I mean? Like, what is it? Well, first of all, in Utah, I don't know if you guys have been there recently, but you can't watch porn. Oh, well. Dude, I just did Salt Lake City and I blocked your phone. Blocked your phone any porn site. You couldn't do anything.

That's crazy. I mean, you got to the point where I was like fingering my apple. Down, down, down salt like city. And so, no, but what happened was when it started leading me down this case for Christ Pat. No, I will also preface. Sure. That I'm passionate about it,

and I've been converted, but I am only 80 pages into a 400 page mark. That's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. So I don't know necessarily what's gonna happen next. The first 80 pages of the video. Absolutely. So, but what happened was, is, while we're talking, look up Case for Christ,

look up who this guy is, what his historical bone of feeds are. Oh, I'm so, they can't help it. Case for Christ.. So they also have a movie about it, but it's dog shit. You want to Was Kevin Sorbo in the movie the case for Christ? Yeah, let's check and see if Kevin Sorbo was in the case Oh least showble actually I shouldn't say it's dog shit because one of the actresses Erica Christian sin is in it and I do love her Okay, so I and to be fair I did only watch the first 10 minutes of the case for Christ the movie and I had to turn off because my daughter needed help Lookably strobo. Oh this what we talk. It's a least trouble

So and former investigative journalism is written several books including four that receives So, and former investigative journalism, he's written several books, including Four That Receives, Chris, oh, Four That Receives, Christian book awards, and a series which addresses challenges to the veracity of Christianity. He also hosted a television program called Faith Under Fire on Pax TV, and runs video apologetics website.

And I gotta be honest, as I'm reading about his career, it's still not shaking my unwavering faith in Christ, but it is starting to put little density because the man the man who I've put my trust in to tell me about Christ It's famous for his coverage of the Ford Pinto crash trial Involving a class action suit against the Ford martyr company in WinniMac India. So this is the Ford Pinto crash guys That's it. Well, you hear investigative journals. You don't hear you don't the four Pinto crash guys. That's it. Well you hear investigative journals, you don't hear, you don't think the Pinto crash. You think fucking CIA.

Watergate, some like that. Interesting. So, but the reason why I started getting into this because what happened to me was, is I was at Thanksgiving, right? And you know, career like, you know, go well, like it's time to place it unhappy because I'm like, you know, I'm doing what I love and my family has got what they want.

And then my mom started coming down on me. And like in front of the family about like how vulgar my comedy is, what a disappointment it is to my religion and how disgusting some of the words I use and how the sex acts I talk about it, talking about getting your, you know, girlfriend pregnant on the first date and putting that information out there. I'm like, all true. Now, I'm just not curious. Your mother, this is the same woman who raised you with money from the mafia. Is that correct? Yes, that is.

She had no problem taking money from beatings, murderers. You know, that sort of thing. And it's funny, so I'm getting that because my mom coming down on me, yelling at me, and for everybody And then I have a very like flamboyantly gay uncle who's like the oldest yeah, and then he just says he goes Well, he waits for it to be done because it was like getting like I do it on there like there was like sweat dripping down my back My lap just slowly feeding her applesauce while I am getting Destroyed like she was pretty was kind of, like I was like a porn star.

Like that's how she was kind of putting me faux. And there was like other people there, like family friends who like don't look so I mean I was just getting shit on for my comedy. So then my uncle, my uncle who is a writer for this, my uncle is a world, I don't know if he's world famous, he's famous in this community, a famous cat judge. That's awesome.

He judges cat competitions all over the world. He's a judge one for Vladimir Putin. Wow. So he's just got it everywhere. And then he says, and then he goes, well, he waits to use time, he goes, yeah. Why don't you never go to one of his shows again? Never asking for a ticket.

Never asking to meet any of his celebrity friends. Never get a video. Never, ever, ever. Go to one of his shows again. How about that? How about that? And then I was like, oh yeah. And I'm still, and I don't know if it was just like a moment

that'll pass, but I start thinking, you know what I'm gonna do then just to stick it to all, like internal, and it's saying, yeah, yeah, yeah,, hell yeah. And I'm still, and I don't know if it was just like a moment that'll pass, but I started thinking, you know what I'm gonna do then, just to stick it to all, like internal, and it's saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm older than getting our more pumpkin pie on that wall. Of course, of course. But I said, you know what, just to stick it to these motherfuckers, what I'm gonna do is,

I'm gonna get back into religion, I'm gonna taste for Christ, and what I'm gonna do is kind of similar to what Ari did with like a Jew thing, not that at all, but I'm gonna fucking put out, I know Ari's wasn't clean but I'm gonna put out like an hour of like clean comedy, maybe it's like a one-man show, like, are you proud of this kind of thing? Like, what if I show you I can do this too?

That's crazy. And I wanna do, and I like so motivated to do that. So the case for Christ, reading it, and kind of reconnecting with my faith was the first and by the way I will tell you this is just my life the way that I found out about the book the case for Christ is from my good friend tanks and a Trap is my guiding spiritual healer who told me dude you need to read the case for Christ. That's interesting. My mind is actually fuck Jerry The case for Christ. That's interesting. Mine is actually fuck Jerry. Fuck Jerry is my rabbi. Yes.

So that's where I'm at. So I'm gonna try to put that out and be like, are you proud of this? That's true. Okay, wow. I cannot believe you fell for this. So, your mom, it just worked. You just completely capitulated to your mother. 100%. She's talking crazy shit.

You know what I mean? Like I said, hypocrite, your father's a criminal. Right? And she took all his money. You know what I mean? You take care of your mom, I'm sure. Like you still do, taking your dollars. You know what I mean?

She's taking your dollars. Like maybe let's fucking vote with our wallet, mom. If you really have a problem with these fucking these come jokes. Yeah, how about guess what you don't get you don't get the addition to your home Right in fucking you know Brooklyn. Yeah, yeah, I yeah, I I Can't find out Lanai for you. Yeah, but it's just like you completely were so out of spite. You're gonna do this Yeah, but I don't know man It just seems like, I mean, there is something going around.

I do think there's just a natural arc of a human's life where it's like, you get to be a fucking, you know, you're raised in a certain way. You rebel, right? Everybody seems to do this. And then you do whatever the fuck, you're not only your rebel, then you act fucking wild,

you do whatever the fuck you want, you're like, this is how my life is gonna look Then I think There's a void of meaning and so everybody tries to fill that in and I do think there is You know, we're kind of at the age where for some people that's like going back into religion And I think that's maybe a little bit what this is here, but it's just like come on man You're you're a history guy. You know what actually happened to me.

Look, I don't want to, if you religious, you're religious whatever, but it's like to think that, you know, Christ did miracles. So fucking stupid. So fucking dumb. You think so fucking guy was like, ooh, fucking zombies were coming up and shit like that. And it's like, you just know that didn't happen. Dude, here's the thing. Like I said, I'm only 80 pages in,

to an over 400 to 500 page book. But I'm telling you, so far, it's so far, I went to church last Sunday, and here's what I will say about going to church. What I, you know, like everything's like, you know, all you do is here, like Andrew Huberman and these guys talk about like meditation, how important it is and I believe, but I cannot do it. I know that I could, but I'm telling you, I can't. When I sit down my eyes close, I start, I'm so afraid of the dark, I'm like literally afraid of my own

eyes being close because I'm in the dark. And I can't do it. And I always think someone's going to like stab me and ghost and I can't do it But what I have found was Meditate churches like meditation to me like I'm sitting in there for an hour I'm listening to these what I right now firmly believe actual historical events that happened That are being let out from the New Testament by father Henry from St. Salvation So shut up to Father Hank. Shout out to him out. And so, and so, so I've noticed that it's like coming down

because it's like, I'm not on my phone, I'm not looking at it. Listen, there are, there are really interesting benefits to church for sure. There's like, first of all, I think the strongest thing is the community aspect. Yeah. That's because like I grew up in, you know,

in Greaktown, Greak, Orthodox church. And, you know, we went to church every Sunday, we went to Sunday school, but it's like, I didn't give a fuck about that, but it was cool to be around your friends, and to like, we had like church leagues, basketball, we had dances, we had like all this kind of shit.

And I do think there is, I think that is definitely missing from people, and I think that's something that community in general has been kind of destroyed, and I think that might make religion attractive to people. But I also think the actual vibes of a good church. Like, you know, we had the incense going. You have the lights are low.

You have fucking stained glass. It is a pretty nice place to like chill out, take a nap. Yeah. I would love to just like get a little high and just like, so, if you had an ergonomic like, like chair, I would be in ergonomic like, big chair, I would be in there and listen to fucking church, dude. Yeah, I'd be like, this is fucking sick, dude.

I'd just be snoring, you know what I mean? Like, that would be, if you could go chill and church. Well, that'd be awesome. That's kind of what I did. And I will just say quickly, I mean, it is insane what's happening, like just like with the algorithms, dude, the priest was doing crowd work.

Anyway, you're trying to get clips. He was doing the homelage. I don't like, dude, the priest was doing crowd work. Anyway, he's trying to get clips. He was doing the homelage. And I'm like, dude, the priest is going into the crowd, asking people shit. And I'm like, if this is edited and yeah, with subtitles, I will become a fundamentalist Muslim. I'm doing it right now. And it was one of those, but what I will say is, you know, sitting there, like there, just here's the thing, is yes,

I'm absolutely like, I don't believe all the stuff just yet. And I'm like, okay, some of it is just like, maybe that didn't happen, but it's like a message for something else, because I do think, I have daughters, the morality in society is so down. Like it's just the moral compass on people I believe is so that myself included right I'm like I got to do something I got I'm not gonna put a gun to my kids and make them go to church like my mom did right right right right right right but I'm like

But I'm like I got to do something to show some type of morality because I think what's happened is too in my life Is my oldest daughter now is eight right So now, it's a little person. So what she said though to me was, this is another reason going into this and Trish trying to think long term now, as I've always been like, you know, love my kids or whatever, but now my eight year old, like,

you know, she has like feelings and opinions. I'm like, you can talk to her, almost like a little person. And about a month ago, we switched, I switched schools, because we moved and in her new school, one of her friends was like, oh my dad, she came up to my door and she said, oh my dad said that your dad is a comedian that curses a lot and is a really dirt. Yeah, I was like, what kind of fucking cuck father?

He said to a little kid. Yeah, I was like, like, have that opinion. Yeah, but it's like, well, maybe he over-heard it, her friend would ever, but anyway, she asked me, she was like, oh, like, do you curse a lot? Interesting. And I was like, you know, at times I do, I was like, but I don't think my comedy's vulgar. And she was like, oh, she was like, they said that it was. And I was like, oh shit. I was like, that's crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then so it started to make me think like, there's, you can't change the past. And I gotta do the comedy that I think is right in the art or whatever You want to call that I think it's right, but I it was I was for a long time in my life just being like I'll say whatever I want and you know Get away with it's freedom of speech Yeah, and I got my fans and they'll support me and I'm crispy K. Awesome. Bova, but now I'm like Yeah, but the only thing that would like crush me is if my daughter was like hey

I'm not proud of the shit that you're saying hack Your daughter's like hey try writing a little bit pal With a game porn or recon shit Your daughter doesn't even care about the vulgarity. She's just like you know I prefer like emo phillips your daughter's like a fucking old comic She goes dad what about the honey young man He's an old comic. Yeah. He goes, Dad, what about any young men?

Yeah. He's great. But it's also probably most likely like most things in my life are just a phase that I'll literally abandon in about two months. Oh, I'll tell you exactly what it is. It's not even a phase. It's a direct, it's a direct like result of just your mother punishing you in it working. It's you being a good boy. it's you always listening to your mom,

and now you're trying to like filter it through the, like I'm an adult, I'm making this decision. But what it is, your mom grounded you, and you were like, all right, I'm going to my room. And instead of your, instead of your physical room, it's the metaphorical, you're spending three weeks grounded in Christianity.

I swear, my dad, you know, my parents have been divorced since I'm one. So my dad. I swear my dad, my parents have been divorced since I'm one, so my dad, I told my dad about this. Like almost like told them the story, thanks to him, I was like, I'm gonna go on this new path or whatever and he was gonna be good. Though, what he was gonna say, that's good for you, whatever. I swear to God, he goes, his first words, he goes, your mom's a crafty bitch.

That's what he said. That's so funny. He knew, man. He knew exactly what you would do. Absolutely. But he was like, yeah, whatever you're gonna do, man. Yeah, I don't feel like he was like, here. He's just doing it.

He's always just doing 100%. That's all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all thing. Your dad is fucking awesome. He's a good man. He's lost like, he's under, he weighs like 190 pounds. Wow.

Now he was like 280. Now he's 190. And he's like, it's fucking unbelievable. I just keep losing weight. I said, Dad, have you been checked for cancer? Are you dying? Like yeah. He never even thought of that.

I was like, he was like, I haven't even changed nothing. It's just the way it's going wrong. This is a man who was hospitalized because he ate too much pizza, correct? Yes, exactly. Well, this, I don't know if you know this story. He literally ate so much pizza. He like, what was it?

So what happened was he ate two Christmas's ago. He are two or three Christmas's ago. He ate like an entire tray of lasagna. Right? Like the entire tray was supposed to be his wife put it out for like the party and my dad down the whole tray. Before anybody got there, that's fucking awesome. She was like, Tony, that was for the party.

That's what it was. So, he went crazy, he was just fucking sucking it. He was watching college football, whatever, just throwing it back. So whatever, we have the party, you know, Christmas day, whatever. He eats even more, you know, he just ate cookies, whatever. And then that night, he was, I was sleeping over. And that night, and he wakes up, I hear him and my stepmom talking, he's like,

oh, can you breathe? What's going on? He's like, give me the hospital. Give me the hospital. And I'm like, oh shit, so I wake up one happening, so you're from the camp, breathe. I'm like, holy shit, he's like, but I don't think he's having a heart attack,

but something's wrong. So we get him to the hospital, they hook him up to the machines, whatever. The next morning, one of the doctors comes to his list and unfortunately, he's okay for right now but he does have congestive heart failure. The beginnings of stage one congestive heart failure, honestly, he probably has a year or two.

People just don't live long with this. Basically, what's happening is, he explains me, so basically what's happening is, he's got so much swelling in his heart that his blood can't pump the blood properly He explains me, so basically what's happening is that he's, you know, got so much swelling in his heart that it's his Blood his heart can't pump the blood properly because if years of a reading and you know, blah blah blah blah. Blood is so thick. Yes. That he's not even having a heart attack. Yeah. He has made his blood so fatty and thick that his blood cannot pump it.

It cannot pump his blood literally turned it to regal top. So, so then so we're like upset like I do it. I was like crying. Yeah. That's it. That's it. So, so then, so we're like upset, like I do it. I was like crying. I was like, oh, shit, I spoke to my friend who's a ER doc. He was like, yeah, it's not good. Like I could have told you that was going to happen in your dad. Yeah. He's a fine man.

He's lived a good life, whatever. Yeah. So then, I'm dealing with that. About eight hours later, they call me. They say, hey, listen, a mini miracle has happened. They said we just re-ran his blood and his congestive heart failure is gone. And they said, what we think happened was,

is he had so much sodium in one sitting that he actually fooled our okay geniuses into thinking he had congested heart failure. And was gonna die in a year. That's so awesome. Those levels of fat are like, I'm like, I feel like I'm a guy in junior college watching fucking Michael Jordan. I'm like, wow, that would kill me.

I could never do that. Literally, it expanded his heart, the amount of sodium. And then once all you have to do was they gave him, you know, they gave him water and diuretics because that's what was the gonna be the kind of treatment for that anyway And then his levels just went back to normal because he just pissed out the sodium from the entire tray of lasagna and played of Cookies the eight and then like and then he just literally like gets out of the hospital like it feels like As a whole new lease on life and he wanted to go to our bees First up, there doesn't want to kiss his grandchildren.

So my stepmother, the only way to control my dad, my dad loves my kids, his grandkids, my stepmother made a rule and it actually worked where she would say, Tony, you cannot see the kids unless your blood sugar is below one 10. So she would test his finger and if it was above one 10, you can't, that's it. I'm taking the kids away. So that's crazy. So that's how they're motivated them to not have that last book. And they should be like, do you want to see Delilah?

Do not put that cookie in the mouth. And if she test his finger, and if he was under one 10, he could come. That's crazy. So this man, this is the man who just thought naturally his body was healing. He naturally thought, he changed some of the diet. He was like, he said, oh, his dieting was, instead of eating like the cheeseburger, he changed some of the diet. He was like, you know, he said,

oh, like, his dieting was instead of eating like the cheeseburger, he wouldn't eat the bun. He would just eat like the bacon and the cheese, which I know is keto, but that's what you would do. Or he said, oh, I'd only eat like a little bit, like I wouldn't have like the snacks. Or he was saying, you know, I do the intermittent fasting. He's like, I stopped eating at like seven o'clock,

but I'm like, yeah, but you're still having 4,000 calories. Yeah, he's in 10 to 7. And then he just literally, you know, every time I see him, because he lives in Tampa, he'd be losing a little bit more weight, a little bit more weight. And I'm like, thinking, oh, whatever, not questioning. Then when it got from 280 to 180,

he didn't even think he was like, dude, it's just coming off. It's amazing. He's like, I'm hitting my prime. I said, you could literally have cancer. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. The science and stuff. Is he good?

No, so we go to the doctor. And immediately they put him up, you know, the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So your body is like shedding weight because your heart is pumping so hard internally It's like you're running a marathon every day of your life But you're just sitting there not feeling it at all. So it's absolutely 100% because you have a heart condition that needs to be fixed immediately Surgery immediately this is like the fifth time where the doctors are like I cannot believe you survived Like do you think like for years at your life. Do you think, I think about your dad a lot, right? I mean, we went to, I met him a couple times.

We were randomly at a Nick's game, which was one of the best. I still remember that. That was one of the funnest, just seeing you and your dad was so sick. You and Sam behind us. Yeah, it was fucking perfect. We had such a great time. And the Nick's were in the first half.

That first half was one of the best. Was that a playoff game? I was playing it. It was like, yeah, the heat series. But I think, like, how many guys? Because the classic, because your dad, you've talked about it, but I'm not fucking saying anything.

Your dad was in the mob literally. He went, you know, but how many people, no one gets out of the mob, right? You die or you spend like a life sentence, right? Your dad, you know, spent a little time, you know, spent a little time, did a little bit here and there, but pretty much gets out, right? Like, doesn't, you know, never really faced crazy,

he wasn't like, they cease his assets or anything, like, was a great dad to you, right? Like, was with you constantly, great, is a great dad to you, right? Like was with you constantly. The best. Great is a great grandfather has survived multiple marinara sauce health incidents, right? Like just has a nice lives in fucking Florida. Has a you told me still fucks his wife,

he's older shit. You know what I mean? Like they still work. It's like he might be one of the luckiest guys of all time. Like it feels like he lives an enchanted life. Like where he has a little fairy godmother. He and he literally, like he is one of those guys, like luck, he will tell you though, like when it's interesting,

because when I look at my father, I'm like, what a lucky man, right? And then like when he talks to me, like I remember, like the lessons from when I was a kid, when he would pick me up from my mother's house in Queens and drive me in three hours worth of traffic back to his house on Staten Island. He would just have life lessons. He would talk to me about the Yankees and yell at me

about like their pitching staff and stuff. Like, I don't know what's going on. And then, but he would always tell me, is like, I remember he would tell me, if you want to know exactly what not to do in life, you look no further than your father. You do not want to be this. So you just see what not to do in life, you look no further than your father. You do not want to be this. So you just see what I'm doing in life

and you do the opposite and you'll be okay. And I remember hearing that being like, you're like a the man. Like you're an absolute hero. And when I would tell that to my mom, she'd like, you listen to your father. Right, right, right. He's an asshole.

You know what, but I never, because I do understand now as I've gotten older. Like I tell story on stage about like when he took many Yankee Stadium and he made me, we were a Dwight Gooden's No hitter and he made me make believe I had special needs to get better seats, try and all play. And it was whole thing.

And I'm like, I get as an adult now, how like a mother would be like, I cannot spend my life with this man, he's an idiot, but to a child, he was my hero. My hero. So it's like, so I never saw him that way, but as I've gone older, like I almost tell him, like I am on your side, I will run into a burning building for you, but I 100% agree with mom for divorcing you.

Right, right, of course. She has to do what she has to do and I get it. But he is, it's, he's an interesting thing because he doesn't see what we see. And there is a part of too of my comedy that, of course, I embellish to make him this superhero guy. The lasagna stuff is word for word. But this is what I'm saying.

I embellishments aside. Embellishments aside, this is a guy who was straight up got out of the mob and didn't, you know what I mean? He was, because the thing is with him is like he wasn't, oh, because he's a half German. Two so it was like that really, oh the thing where it's like he never really was like, oh, me, die, like those guys couldn't,

you can't get out. My dad was more of like, not even an associate, like just working with the guys gambling and kind of around. So he was, those were his crew so I- But did he have a real job when you were growing up? Exactly, no, I remember I would call him a number. It was a different number almost every month. We'd tell my mom what the new number is and then I would call that number

and he or someone would pick right, right, right. And, yeah, so. But like, you know, that plus like constantly getting pussy, right, the second, what was the weird thing? Like as soon as he divorced your mom, who did he think it was like her sister or something? Or, no, he, what, he, my step, I mean, he was with my step mom for like 35 years.

He, my, my mom divorced him. And then I didn't know this, my dad. So like they divorced and like I live still, my mom still lives in the same house that I grew up in and I just thought like my dad like always lived in Staten Island. I just thought like he immediately got thrown out of my mom. So I just went to Staten Island, but he's like, no, he was like, I was living down the block from you above the bodega for like five years. He's like, you don't remember any of that. Not at all.

I lived there for five years, could just to be like close to you. And then I moved to Staten Island when I met your stepmother. So you know, he's, see the good thing that I have with my dad is what I have, the good life less than that I have is I have what a good relationship looks like

and what a bad relationship looks like. I have, I have 35 in my dad, I have a 35 year marriage with my stepmom who like everything just works and they compromise whatever. And then I have what the divorce relationship looks like and see both sides of that. So sometimes with me, like, you know, I'm like, with my relationships, like, I'm like, am I in the good one or the bad one?

Sometimes it feels like I'm in the good one, something that feels the bad one. And it's funny, there's been certain times like I've been talking to my dad about like my relationship and you know, he'd say, she's giving you first wife energy. So that sounds like a first wife right there. You know, cause he used to be like pretty drama, but now my relationship is good,

but I remember he would say that first wife energy and I was like, oh shit, like I would laugh at it, but like, oh I see what you mean. mean like that's how I guess my mom in him Or like everything was a problem right everything was a fucking headache where like you know you're in the rail Like the right relationship that my dad like they just caught their car every day is a compromise for them And it works they never like she's never once my stepmom yelled at my dad for the things my mom would yell and it would not. And it's not that my mom's a bad person and my stepmom's a great person.

It's just the chemistry with those two didn't work. Right, that's all it is. Yeah, truly, ultimately, it's like, if people just match up. That's it, it's like you could have the two greatest people in the world. If the chemistry's not there, it is not gonna work.

And I'm kind of learning that, you know, as I've gotten older, like you've always heard it, oh, chemistry, chemistry, but it's like, you kind of have to live it. Like I feel like going, I'm not gonna work and I'm kind of learning that, you know, as I've gotten older, like you've always heard it, oh, chemistry, chemistry, but it's like, you kind of have to live it. Like, I feel like going, I'm 39 now. So like going into like next year being 40, it's like, I'm starting to feel like this is like the best time because I'm like,

I just know what I want, what I don't want and I've made so many incredible mistakes. I've learned, all those lessons of like sitting in fear because I said something or like, you know, you know, fucking cheating on a girlfriend and be like, she's gonna find out like, oh, I've went through that already. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, living peacefully.

Yeah. I don't have any drama. You're feeling good, you say? I'm so far, yeah, so far, I feel, I mean, listen, you get ups and downs. The most drama I have now is when I say something disparaging about my family on a podcast, and'm like, are they going to hear that? Yeah. But even that, my mom kind of released me from, I'm like, they don't give a shit,

they think my shit sucks. That's, oh, she fucked up. Yeah, she fucked up being like, you vulgar. You're bringing down our youth with your disgusting words. That's so funny, dude. Yeah, no, well, whatever. I feel like this is definitely a phase. It's a phase, but I will. But with that being said, I am reading Simultaneously, the case for Christ and the People's History of the United States by our journey.

And I'm saying it wrong. People's history is good. And I just finished the... You're basically two different teenagers right now. You're a fucking evangelical. And you're a fucking like me when I was like, dude, America's fucked up, man. I remember reading the People's History at 16,

and I was basically AJ Sopranos, where he's talking about, that's the Columbus. He's reading Howard's in the Columbus episode, and that's when they have that big argument where he's like, he was a fucking, you're like, you're a slave or an even rapist. And Tony's like, don't you ever disrespect. And Italian like that, you know. Yeah, that's so funny.

Like right now like I'm four abortions and the wall. Yeah. So, so, so. And then I just finished too. I read the history of like the, like the myths of the founding fathers, like basically the myths of our country. And that was fascinating. And they're not true, they're all bullshit. How they're all bullshit and how like the myths of the founding fathers, like basically the myths of our country. And that was fascinating.

Yeah, they're not true, they're all bullshit. How they're all bullshit and how like the same way, like marketing, like America, we are the master marketers of marketing products. And you know, with the only country that puts like, you know, blood pressure medicine as like a campaign ad. Right, right.

The only people that do that, that's how our country was founded. It was like just marketing techniques to get people to fight for the revolution. When most people were like, why would we don't give a fuck? England actually protects us from, you know, on the 13 colonies,

it was like that there were the Spanish down south that wanted to kill us, the French up north that wanted to kill us, the Indians to the west that wanted to kill us. The only reason none of them killed us, because they were like, we're backed by the British Empire, they'll kill you. Right, right, right, right, right.

And a few dudes were like, fuck them, dude. Fuck tags. We want to make all that money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to get that time money. So let's tell these motherfuckers. We're not fighting. We're like, let's let them kill themselves and get killed in battle because like, you

know, the revolution was all bullshit. And I'm like, wow, dude, I mean, again, as my unwavering, the only things that are unwavering in my life are Christ in the United States So I don't care what you tell me if that book disrobes Christ if this book makes me I will never not be an American or a fucking Bible So your kids aren't in like Catholic school. They're in Catholic school. Oh, they're in Catholic school. Because I felt like I have girls, so it's like, you know, there's never been a priest. Oh, yeah.

I've never did all the check. Yeah, and every girl I know went to Catholic school. Was this fucking dick by 14, that's pretty sure. Yeah, like every, yeah, those, yeah, they were, they're not getting dittled by priests, but they are out there. I mean, my daughter's a Catholic school, their mom is like a wild Latina girl

with a tattoo-interitan and their father's just a comedian. Who talks about getting fisted in the house by a song called? They're toast, you're kids? No, no shot. No shot of being like regular. I just send them to Palestine now for a better life. I just send them to Palestine now for a better life. That's so funny.

You're like, yeah, Catholic school will be fine. Yeah. No girls get molested over there. No. You're right. Preissar mostly gay. I do though feel like with Catholic school, it's one of those things where it's like, you know, like when they say, like, if you survive a plane crash, like, you're good, like, it

will never happen again. I kind of feel like, are they, I mean, how many more kids can they honestly quit? With the whole world is watching this. Right, right, right, right. So I think now is the same. On September 12, take a vacation a man had. It's not happening again. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? I only fly on nine hours a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Good. That's smart, man. You're a fucking genius for that one, dude. They'll be learning stuff like there were no primary sources

for Alexander the Great. Yeah. They'll be learning just bullshit. By the way, and I will say, and when you pull that up, I immediately remember that it wasn't Alexander the Great, the books at the Prophet Muhammad. Oh. It was his biography.

I see. I wasn't written till a couple hundred years later. I think I'll get the great with a million. There's also no way that's true either. Yeah, you can get the first one about Prophet Muhammad if it's for sure that. That's what's fascinating to me is that like, especially the work of the people. Anyway, whatever, what's really fascinating to me

is that how much like, okay, we talk about, there's the debate about Jesus real person, there's no debate about Muhammad. And to the point where it's like his family, like his descendants were like royalty, they engaged in wars, that's fascinating. Because I always thought like every religion is like mostly bullshit.

And it's like this one, actually, this guy's fucking sons and shit, we're like, you know, mostly bullshit. And it's like, this one, actually, you know, this guy's fucking sons and shit, we're like, so are you saying the only truth there is is this Islam? Yeah, I'm really coming around. I'm not even kidding. I'm not joking. Islam is the moment where I'm like,

I'm really interested in it in a way, because I did the whole, you know, I did the whole, like I grew up religious, not super religious. Greek orthodoxy is like kind of bull, you know, Greek people aren't that religious, but you go to church, I grew up religious, not super religious, Greek orthodoxy is kind of, Greek people aren't that religious, but you go to church, I believe in Bible and stuff. And then the classic thing happened where I was like, literally the nicest guy I ever met,

one of the greatest people I ever met, got inoperable brain cancer and died one month before his grandson was born. And then I was like, wait a second, why would God let this happen? Like it was just that first moment of like, hey wait, there's no like justice or fairness in the world and God exists.

Well, either God is not real or he's a piece of shit. Like I just had that like thought every 15 year old pretty much, which I would hope. That's the thing, it's like I realize that's not true, but it does feel like people are gonna, really just people are gonna be like, fuck you stuff, but it's like it does feel like religion is childish. It's like baby shit.

You know what I mean? It's like, no, do this and everything's good. Even if your entire life sucks dick, there's a secret place where everything's awesome. You just have to pay me every year and follow my rules and everything's gonna be okay. And like so I like looked into like you know, you know And apparently there was at the time where Jesus was around there was a new Jew said he was the Messiah every like week Yes, you know what I mean like there's just talk about that in the book

Yeah, and that and that like yes, he existed, but he was definitely a four four brown man, right? He's not that sexy long long-haired blonde guy. You know, he's just like, some fucking guy like this. Yeah. That looks like Anthony DeVito, probably, you know? He likes to be like, and like, and- He doesn't look like Annie Letterman. No, I'm not saying first.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that like, you know, so much of it was just like, right place, right time. Right. The thing almost like gets sucked into the algorithm. Christianity almost gets sucked into their version of the algorithm and just spreads the right, like religion, the right, like, you know, leaders, you know, sovereign leaders, adopt Christianity,

becomes a political thing to be like, oh, if I'm Christian, I can get all this land, whatever, right? But I never really looked into Islam and I was like, holy shit, this is fascinating. The guy just really existed. And then you see some genealogical shit where it's like, because of how like royalty intermixes

that like the queen of England is related to the prophet Muhammad. Because he's like 0.00000, you know what I mean? Like because it's like, he married some king of sp- you know what I mean? Like somebody married a king of Spain or whatever. And I don't know, anyway, it's fascinating. married some king of sp- You know what I mean? Like somebody married a king of Spain or whatever. And I don't know, anyway, it's fascinating.

And I'm coming around. Dude, hi. And by the way, I don't know. Islam, like Arab girls are hot. I like a big nose and curly hair and big titties. They're signing me up. They're beautiful. I remember Mo Amher, who's, you know,

went on to huge things now, but there was a point in like 2017, 2018, when I was co-parenting, I was living alone, I had an apartment in downtown Brooklyn, I would have my daughter over like every other week on her every weekend, and Mo used to sleep on my couch. Like when we would come to New York, he would sleep on my couch, and I remember one day

I woke up a little late, and Mo was sleeping on my couch and my daughter had woken up and they were out there and Mo was cooking breakfast, he's an amazing cook. He was cooking pea soup. He makes a lentil soup, I meant. He makes an amazing lentil soup. He's making lentil soup and eggs for my daughter. And he was talking to her and my daughter was sitting there

with their blankie listening about how the only truth is Islam. I swear to God, I swear to God, I swear to God. I'm not doing that to you. I'm not doing that to you. And now I'm a proper new hominist, the only one who lived in recorded time. And that's the one to believe. And my daughter, I swear to God, my daughter was sitting

with her piggy and blank, and he was just looking at her, and I was like, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, dude, he was like, I'm staring. I'm just trying to save your daughter, man. You're gone, you're toast. You, no chance for you. Yeah, he said there was some religious show on TV,

and she was just watching. He was like, oh, you know, what do you know about religion? And she was like, you know for you. Yeah, so there was some religious show on TV and she was just watching. He was like, oh, what do you know about religion? And she was like, Jesus, Santa. And so he was like, let me talk to you about it. But it was interesting, because when he talked to him about Islam and stuff like that, about why the women cover their heads and all that, it's all based in kind of good.

Like they're like, oh, the women cover their head. Like you look at it as look at these women not being free, but it's really protecting the woman because he's like, they know that hair and eyes and the body, you know, basically puts men into a psychosis. All right, now we're getting a little fucking. Now, now, now, it's all right. And so historically, it's very interesting, but that's one of the most retarded, a lot of pieces of logic I've ever heard in my life. I, it's like, yeah, I mean, men can't help them.

So it's literally the religious version of like, what was she wearing? You know what I mean? It's a religious version of you asked for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what he said. Yeah, and I can, I probably am, you know, paraphrasing it and making it all wrong.

But, right, right. Yeah, something. But what I'm saying, you're saying the only truth is Islam. I'm saying Islam is the one where I'm like, oh, interesting, you know? Because I was like, I was reading a book about like, how the Bible even started.

And it's like, it's interesting to think like, I guess the Jewish Bible that, you know, Christianity and then everything is kind of based off of it. It's like, those motherfuckers just got their shit kicked in. Oh yeah. Like they got completely fucked up. And the only reason that civilization survives is because they wrote a book to rationalize their losing.

Right. Like they wrote a book about like, oh yeah, we fucked up. You know, like God, we fucking displeased God. And like, and they, and usually once you're fucking little village, whatever gets destroyed, all right, well, we stop existing as a civilization, but like these nerds wrote a story about, we'll do losing.

And even like, when you go back into history and like you take the crusades, it's like, I thought, because you would hear in the neighbors, I'd go up and like, hey, fucking dirty Muslim. And then you think like, they think like,

oh, it's been kind of subconsciously brainwashing to my head to be like those people are dirty Where clean when it's like the opposite was hurled historically and how disgusting Europeans were they said that the Muslim the Islamic community Like in Constantinople and like all that like thank you for using the right name. Sure. They they yeah, I know for using the right name, not sent to Noble. They, they, yeah, I know, fuck the Turks. I, they, they were like clean and like, you know, knowing how to bathe themselves, where like they, the thing, they didn't even need a look out. They did not need a look out.

I read this one thing, the Islamic army, didn't need a look out for the Christians because you could literally smell them from one to two miles away because of how disgusting and barbaric they were and they didn't think about showering. But then you know, you know, some, you know, somebody in like modern days would be like, oh no, we're clean. It's like, no, you're disgusting.

You're disgusting. We're Christians. You're disgusting. We only learned how to bathe like in the 1800s. Right, right, absolutely. So yeah, and they get actually the flip side was actually true of Muslim armors. You could smell the cologne from two miles away. That's how the Christians knew they were coming.

You could smell the axe, the axe, cool body spray coming all the way through. Yeah. That's very interesting. So what's going on for Christian? We got the kids. What are we getting the kids, man? We got the kids.

So what we got, the children right now, we're talking eight, what are the getting the kids, man? We got the kids, so what we got, the children, right now, we're talking eight, what are the ages? I got 13-year-old steps on it, and eight-year-old daughter, and a two-year-old daughter. So the kids, you know, they, you know, scooters, clothes, like they don't want, we're gonna get, we got my steps on VR goggles, and my girl was like, you think this is a problem?

I was like, you know, it, don't go in this room. He's jacking off. So fast, you know it don't go in this room he's Jackie so fast yeah so fast it's crazy I was one of those things I was like you're not gonna stop it you might as well just make it more fun and safer he's gonna find a way So he got in the goggles yeah the two year old we got her like a little ice cream truck like you know like that. Yeah. And then my girl is eight is that's the one. 13 is whatever. Yeah. Two doesn't know the folks going and eight year old at Christmas is like that's big. So we got her you know like I said like new scooters close like all these things she wanted she wants like you know L.O.L. dolls are a big American girl dolls got kind of good back huh? Yeah you got to go. Yeah American girl

Those are still around big dude American girl dolls. I mean that's like the whole fuck it I mean and some of them are like you know a few hundred dollars and then you got to buy like the accessories And all that and they lose them right away, but it's just have to do it. Yeah, like I have no choice So I just do it and then for my girl, you know, they're mom Yeah, girlfriend she I this is like the first time I was like, you know what? Not the one of the first times in a while when I was like, I got a couple of weeks off before Christmas, I'm not like scrambling to get her gifts December 24th. I'm like, let me be thoughtful.

And I got her, I got this thing, I saw it online where it's like this kind of like little digital kind of plaque thing almost that kind of tells you where you guys met and like kind of, you know, kind of makes it like a, you know, like a personalized, like gift plaque with like a map and thing. And then I realized, and the place, because where we met was this place called Place to Beach, a bar in Brooklyn. And I, and I placed a beach,

place to beach. You met it upon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I'm working in your last story. But I met and then we got that. And then I, and then you know, they have this whole thing where they kind of make it look cool like on a map like where it is.

And then I was got it and it just came in the mail today. It's going, I look at it and I was like, look, it plays to be cool, everything's cool. And then I look and I'm like the map is in Chicago. Oh my god I didn't mean it. It's just different place go in place to be in Chicago. Well no what happened was you put the name place to be and then you have to put in like the cross streets of where it is and I didn't know I didn't think to realize like oh you have to change also the city and the zip code. I guess this company just based in Chicago. So now it's like place to be and I'm just hoping that she doesn't realize that the pin is nowhere near

the actual time to get a new one man. No, I can't do it. And there's no delivery. They said all sales are fine. So that's so funny. With that. So I got her that. And then I'm get her a she loves to paint. So this is plays paint and poor sure and flash the paint and poor so I'm gonna do that like it gives I think she'll like that because it's like a lot of times

It was like you know, it would be something expensive, but it's like I clearly got that at the mall today Yeah, where now it's like a little bit less expensive but more thoughtful We'll see it's also at the point where nothing can save the relationship. Yeah, I mean, just girlfriend, when you have an eight year old child together and you live under the same roof, hilarious mood. There's still be going on in your girlfriend. Yeah, not even fiance. Not even a prolonged engagement. Not even like four year, like she's my fiance for a whole presidential term. I know my father will always be like, dude, even though it's a lie, just say your wife. He's embarrassing. He's like, just say it. I'm like, yeah, but we're

not America. It's Christchus Sayah. Yeah. Are you in a certain point common law, married? No, I was, it was brought to my attention by a lawyer that does not exist legally in New York State. Just brought to his attention. a lawyer that does not exist legally in New York State Just brought to his attention he didn't he didn't pay for a consultation with a lawyer You know A lawyer told me about how much Alamo did we talk about You're like, oh my God, thank you. You're gonna be a Vagado.

Yes. I love it. Well, why don't we fucking fire up some questions? We got Chrissy, we got a father, a boyfriend. A new Evangelical question. So why don't we bring his, let's get some of his clean, no cursing advice to our friends here, Elvis. I appreciate that. we bring his let's get some of his clean no cursing advice to our first year eldest i appreciate that

hey yo hey yo don't be held it whoever's with y'all fucking love you guys did um... so i had a holiday themed question more or less so normally i have a big giant new years party like every, like every year, like that's my thing, I'm the party guy, I'm 26 years old, and I'll be moving to a new town because I've

a certain new job here, and I'm moving in the spring, probably in February, but my training I'll be away out of town for over New Year's, but my birthday is January 14th. Thank you so much background. And my birthday is... He also says it's 14th of May. And I was wondering how pretentious would it be to have a late New Year's party? Late.

Birthday party? No. And how do she is it to like at midnight, or at like 11.59 be like, five, four, three three two half be birthday you know you can see it but I don't know tell me what you think that's so thank you that's right yeah I mean first of all any grown man that wants to celebrate their birthday is a borderline retarget

I mean you have to have the special needs so fucking be a grown man. Exactly. I mean, break my brain. Exactly. Any grown man who's not going to WWE Raw for his birthday, it's unacceptable. Yeah, dude, you better have a helmet on it, be fighting me.

I gotta celebrate your birthday as a grown man. Yes, absolutely. You should be able to hire a Spider-Man and you think it's actually Spider-Man. If you're a 27 year old who's celebrating his birthday. Okay, look man, you're the big New Year's guy. That's another thing, it's like you're 26. This is actually perfect for you. You're literally, literally growing up. Your new job is stopping you from having your fucking New Year's party. This is metaphorically you should be like, okay, life has stopped me from doing this.

Because New Year's also is a child's holiday. Like, birthday is almost like, yeah, if you're a grown man who's like, it's my birthday week, whatever, that's annoying, but it's like, look, birthday, you have a nice steak dinner with a friend. You know, get your friends together, keep it, but like throwing your own party, or like if your girl wants to throw you a surprise party, or like your friends want to do something nice for you, whatever, but yes, these are two things that children do

that you're being stopped by. And look, I would say, if the training wasn't happening, I would almost be like, all right, this is a good opportunity to have like one last New Year's party in your old town, and then you leave that behind. But you don't have that opportunity because of the training, right? So, if you want, look, if you want to have a good, here's what you could do, you call it a going away party, because that's acceptable.

Yes. Going away slash birthday is acceptable. New late New Year's birthday. It makes me sick to my stomach to be honest with you? I hate to break it to you. There's no late New Year's. It's New Year's, motherfucker. The fuck are you talking?

You're gonna have a countdown for your 27th birthday? Come on, dude. It's a meaningless birthday. Yeah, dude, it gets to a point where like, you should only have one birthday or decade. Yeah, 30, 40, 50. After you're a teenage, I mean, I guess to a point where like you should only have one birthday or decade After your teenage I mean, yes, nobody cares about your 27th Yes, yes, yes, it's one thing the most irrelevant birthday of all that's true I'm a sure musician and then that's your

Exactly, yeah, so yeah dude. Yeah, so I'm glad you called in because this is a fucking horrible idea Yeah, we will give you the cover of a going away party Because that is something like, you know, that's a chapter in your life and you can get all that like You know little kid throw a party energy out With your big going away party call it a birthday. So that's going away. It's not a new year's party That's embarrassing to try and try and have a I mean truly I'm feel sorry for you for even asking this out loud I knew your party on January in the middle of January so that's embarrassing to try and try and have him. I mean, truly, I feel sorry for you for even asking this out loud. A New Year's party on January, in the middle of January.

So going away slash birthday party, have a blast, put all that energy into it, because that's going away is fun, that's a big thing. Let that kind of, let all those, let that die at that party. It can still be the symbolic end of this chapter of your life. And then from now on, if you still wanna be like a hosting guy, you can't, what do you have?

You're gonna be 28 buying 100 red solo cups. Are you fucking kidding me dude? You're gonna be buying bud, you're gonna be natty light. You can't be doing that shit anymore dude. And if you still have the hosting, there's nothing wrong with being a guy who likes hosting. I like, you know what I'm saying? It's gotta become barbecues. It's nothing wrong with being a guy who likes hosting. I like, you know, but it's like, it's got to become barbecues. It's got to become poker nights. It's got to become dinner parties.

Yeah, some type of theme. You can't be having ragers at 28. It's fucking weird. It's embarrassing. It's really embarrassing. So good luck. So don't tell me God you called us. Yes. Imagine getting the text like, hey, having a late New Year's. Imagine out of the context of this. Yes. Imagine getting the text like, hey, having a late New Year's, imagine, out of the context of this, somebody calling you, and being like, hey, Chris, please come to my late New Year's party on January 15th, you'd be like,

I'd be like, I'd rather denounce Christ. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Alright, next question, Bigeldo. Hey, stop.

This is Chase from the great state of Illinois. I have a question for you. So I have a friend who essentially had sex with the Chase and protected, did not finish inside of her. She claims to have been on birth control at this time that's happening. Of course, she claims to have been on birth control at this time that's happening.

Of course, again, the ex-unprotected they didn't finish inside of her, didn't finish anything like that. Was she not on birth, she was on birth, so sorry, at the time. My question, and it's the only time he's ever had an ex-unprotected-sex with shit in his life, and he's like, I guess, that he's in the

finishing side of her, she claims that she's pregnant and it's hit. He's the bully-believed or any's not questioning, ever. My question is, should he question her? I mean, what's the book, even the statistic possibility of not finishing believe there and it's not questioning of my question is should he question her I mean what's the book even the statistic possibility of not

finishing the perfect guy to have a position beyond personal one time and then producing a baby right I don't know I just want to know what you think about whether or not you should be really pressing the city's not pressing it

he's fully that the child of this point right I'm not pressing this, he's pulling that, that's the smile of this point. Right. Oh my God. I want to come on Fred. Chase. Chase, thanks for the question. I'm going to say what we all know is that you're the friend. Yeah.

Yeah. This is not, this is as classic as I have a friend to coincidentally did exactly what I did three months ago. I knocked up some check and I'm not sure if the kid is mine. That's what he's saying, right? Right, he's saying he pulled out. She was on birth control. Pulled out.

She's pregnant. Had the baby? So you had a child through birth control. Yes. But did you, you busted, you treated yourself to a buster? No, no, no, no, the second one, yeah. The second one, yeah. First one, no bus.

The first one, the first one, dude, I swear, dude, I pulled out, I fucking pulled it all out. And it just because the truth is Chase is that, you know, as little pre, as much as you wanna believe, it's not only the pre, it is the pre, they're sperm and the pre-com, but as much as you wanna believe that you're only coming when, you know, like as soon as you pull out,

like yes, that is the bulk of it, but you're constantly, consistently pre-comming the entire time you're in or so, depending on how much sperm is in those that pre-com, you could be dropping what you could accumulate on a load. Of a load. We're fully pulling out. And it could have been in that hour to two hour range a month where she can absolutely

get pregnant with the eggs at its lowest point. And birth control, they say at time and time again it's like 97% effective so it's not impossible and it's probable that because what he's saying did they have the baby? No she's saying she's pregnant they haven't had the baby. I feel like because what you can't um so if you're still pregnant. Sorry I zone dogs so I was like really? Nope because I was thinking about some of my own decisions. And I'm like, God damn.

Is what he's saying true? I wasn't even listening. I was like, the fucking, saving bribe of Ryan and ringing in your ears. It's like a 25-foot thing. Like, it's like a whole fucking dream. Wait, for real? Yeah. I got to change some of my free. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta change some of my habits.

Yeah. So it absolutely, my two kids are living proof of it. And, but what you can do, what you can do, is something that, you know, because in the beginning my relationship, you know, when we had to kind of, you know, we weren't sure about the baby and all that stuff You know just because like you know we and and and I What you what I what I had no choice but to do this and I think you're in the same boat and I was worth it is you can while you're still

Pregnant get a DNA test from your they have to do like a bit of a procedure Not procedure like go like a take like a blood blood from her And like a little it's a bit more invasive, but you they could just swab them out everything's better for a guy And then but you can they can confirm with 99% accuracy if the baby is yours. Oh, wow Yeah, what he's worried about right? I would say yes That's the that's the main question. It's like his friend is just going along with this and if I'm in the situation I would need to know for sure. I would need to, I would, if you did that, right?

I did that and it didn't respectfully. It was like, it was like one of those things, like I'm not accused, it's just, I, and as cool as can be, she was like, I, I, and so good. And a woman should also understand where you're coming from. Yes, because she was like, look, there's obviously, like it'd be a miracle, like this baby could be Jesus.

I'm like, that would make me so happy. She's actually believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, it was somebody else's Jesus. I'm like, that would make me so happy. Should I do believe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was somebody else's, because I've only been with you, but I was like, I fully respect it, but like for me, I just need to know. This might be a mental conception.

So I think if she starts to, if you present that to her and she's like, no, no, no, then I'd be like, okay, what the hell's going on here? Right, right, right. Yeah, I would say if the question is simply, a matter of should this guy be questioning

Then yes, he should be quite he should do he should dot his eyes and crosses teeth We're talking about having a fuck being on the hook for a child Right and look he might also just like this woman and be like we know we all we often in a misogynist a way think of the man The woman trapping the man his friend might be a fucking be a fucking loser who might be trying to trap this woman. He doesn't want any questions. Right? We don't know. But if this was me, I would be in a tough spot.

I mean, that's what my relationship, I would say I trapped her. I would say 100% because I liked her so much when we met and I felt so beyond insecure because she had a child already. So pretty sure relationship. And I was like, the only way I'm gonna feel even to this other guy's I gotta have a dinner. I made that decision in an hour and I didn't.

Wow, wow, the secret. The secret. You were like sitting there, you're busing and you're trying to guide your spur. You're like, you have like a mind connection with your nut and it's just like, you guided Delilah, half of the lila into the egg. Yeah, you want your security to go away, dude, don't pull out. So, so I think though that,

that's what he absolutely has to do for his own, for his own well-being. But, but here's the, you can, you can get pregnant on birth control. It is absolutely possible. Yeah, even when he's told you to drill. Yeah, even when you pull out. Yeah, I mean, and again, also, this is an odd question, because let's assume, let's take him for face value and say he is asking about his friend. You can't control what your fucking friend does. Like if, let's say we're in a situation,

elders I can see pulling something that he's happily married now, but he's an odd man. Sure. And I can see him in some weird way, just this happening to him, me being like, fucking check! And I was being like, hey man, it happened. You know what I mean?

It's like, what can I do to him to force him? You can't change the way your friend reacts to this weird situation. You're going to be like, hey dude, Stavya and Chris, you should really get that tattoo. Yes, exactly what. Yeah, the guy's like, well, really? Yeah. Yeah, dude, control like, well, really? Yeah. You gotta do control what you can control. Yeah, that's the past.

That's actually another better lesson here for this guy, because I've been this guy, I've been this guy too, where it's like, you see your friends making what you think are mistakes, and after time, you're right, but after time, you're wrong, right? You can't control anybody's life, your friend, and you have to make peace in your late 20s, early 30s as a man, you're right, but after time you're wrong. You can't control anybody's life, your friend. And you have to make peace in your late 20s, early 30s as a man.

It's like, you're gonna drift apart from your friends a little bit in a way that you don't like. You're not gonna see each other all the time. I mean, unless you get very, your life is hilarious and you hire your friend to be your podcast producer and tour manager. And now you hang out more than when you were children. We literally see, we do the exact same things

we did when we were 11 years old on the monthly sleepover that we would have because he lived in a different part of town. Now that's our entire lives. We try, but it's like, unless you have this set up, you're gonna grow apart from your fucking friends a little bit. And you just have to make peace with it.

And you have to realize like, nobody likes a busy body, nobody likes somebody sticking his nose into any fucking business. For all you know, he might love this, it might be weird, but he might love this woman, and they might get fucking married,

and forever, she'll remember you as the guy who thought of her as the whore trying to trap his friend. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like, you have to take your cues from your friend. That, and like, don't be like that overbearing friend, either.

You should be here for your friend when he's need your help and wants to talk about this, do it, but like, don't bud in and be like, I think you do this. Don't give unsolicited, don't give us the means. It's not, don't give that. Just support him the whole way.

Or else you're like, or else, you know, it starts to get like annoying. And I'm starting to think that you are the guy who wanted to throw his 26th New Year's Eve birthday party. I'm just thinking you're the same dude. This is the same call. Yeah, and like, now he's what, he's not gonna be at my party, my surprise party.

I'm just asking for 14th for years. Yeah. Yeah. All right, good luck, but good luck to you. Good luck more importantly to your friend and that woman. Good luck to the baby, raise it, but good luck to you. Good luck more importantly to your friend and that woman good luck to the baby raise a Christian Chris Christianity Hey, so happy holidays the holiday question. Hey eldest hey guest

This also got cut off the three recording This also got cut off the three recording. I'm just going to stand off with my long-term girlfriend right now because last year we all went to a thing at her very annoying sister's house, which just didn't be like her either, but you know, they're sisters. They have to try and get along. It was a potluck, slash white elephant, slash costume party, which sucks because not only is it too many events in one event, but you're having to spend a minimum of $30 on a gift. That was a minimum of $30. Everyone says it's too high. But not only does it also have to

bring food. It's like $5 too high. it's not like they didn't say fifty yeah a white elephant's twenty bucks with Biden flation it's up to thirty yeah it's not like to complain about thirty you're on a bad you're already off on a bad one is a white elephant part it's like a the gift

exchange where everybody has to chase the steel okay okay I know to be that kind of bullshit but go ahead I'll just on a gift. That was your minimum was $30. Everyone's has a too high But not only that was then you also have to bring food yourself. So I'd even providing food It's annoying. And you have to have a costume food. It's just like an honor. That's turning on the gas I was getting on him with for the price point that was but like i could absolutely how annoying this is my own food own food plus gift plus costume one has to go minimum

one has to go minimum did not was it was pissed off to go to the first place but then we get to the wild but i thought like you know a smaller nice bottle of liquor a lot of the other people got like, you know, adult practical gifts. But the thing that the sister got was one of those Chubata masks and coins are asked that makes noise when you open your mouth, which apparently is $30.

And first moment behold, I end up with the fucking Chubata mask and I am not happy about this for feeding and I am visually happy about it. I am just repeating, and I am visually excited about it. I am saying anything to the sister, but like she knows that I am like very fucking annoyed by her adventure general. And this year, having another weird bullshit event, this time, it's another one I elephant with someone being $50. And I don't want to go I go for it really wants us to go together but I can't go unless I apologize for being

what? what? unpleasant or ungrateful the previous year? pause this for a second I don't want to do that either this is so interesting because like his attitude is wrong right he's looking for a fight but he has a point at every turn yes it's like, his attitude is wrong, right? He's looking for a fight, but he has a point at every turn. Yes, it's like you, you're bringing the wrong energy to this, right? Like you're looking to get pissed off, right? Which is an issue, right?

Like I guarantee you, when he walked in there and he saw that you're a bachamasque, he said, I better not fucking get that you bachamasque or I'm gonna be a fucking cunt about it. And he almost like, he was mad to be there. So he was like, I'm leaving this up to God. And if I get the Chubacumass, I get to behave the way I want to behave. And that's your problem, is that like, you let yourself off the hook.

Look, you knew what you were doing, bro. You were going to a dumb bitches Christmas party as a favor to your girlfriend. We have to do shit for our friends and our significant others that suck dick and our gay, right? And that's part of the fucking thing. You wanna have a good relationship? Sometimes you suck it up and do something that sucks to make her happy.

And you, and it's even though it is annoying and everything you've described is annoying. You were too much of a cont about it. But that's party one Now let's continue this I have some thoughts on the other part But there's so much there's such a deep rich text that we have to kind of break it up I don't think I was in the wrong to be pissed off I don't want to apologize and if I don't apologize and I don't have to go

But of course this is a relationship that I care about very deeply. It has been together for several years. And I want things to go smoothly. How do I apologize and just go and spend $50,000 on a fake gift? Or do I try to send my ground? What do you think I do here? How do I navigate this holiday family situation? Thanks so much. I mean, OK, I love hate this guy. this holiday family situation. Thanks so much.

I mean, okay. I love hate this guy so much. I know, I know. Because the thing is, he's being a baby, but I see where he's coming from. Yeah, he's in a toxic relationship. Hey, I've been here too, where I'm like, I'm fuck, I have a good point. He's a problem though, having a good point doesn't matter. No, dude.

Like I said, there's no justice in life. There's nothing as it should be. Life is feelings, not facts. This is the common thing. It's about your, it's emotions. That is a great way to look at it. So stop worrying about the facts, dude. This is all feelings.

Yes, yes, fuck Ben Shapiro. Yes, feelings don't care about your facts. You're right, because you have a great case for a lawyer. We're not talking about law here. We're talking about your relationship. Yeah. Now I am actually, I would say you have to suck up everything. The apology is what even is getting to me.

When I'm like, I have to apologize. I mean, unless he was like, oh, cool, a fucking Shubaka man. Like, I guess we don't know how much of a country was, right? Like, oh, Robert Dumbits, they put it on. Oh, who am I? Oh, I make like everybody spent $100 for her gay-ass party. If you did that, then yeah, apologize. Yeah.

But if you're just like, rolled your eyes a little bit, the apologies. But these are my, this is the thing. Yeah, yeah. And as long as you didn't like get the massive, like this looks like your sister you dumb bitch't bitch, like you don't throw it and then threw it out of her husband's face or something. But now I'm really curious about this apology, right?

Because every other aspect of this, I would say go, be a good sport, don't be a cunt, spent, you know what I mean? Just like, and also it's like, dude, you're a fucking grown man. Yes, it's annoying, but costume, potluck, you know, $50 gift, what is that? $100.

Like, come on, we're not, like, that's not, you're not in college where $100 makes a break. Like, yes, again, it's annoying, but it's like, whatever. And I would say, if the apologies out of this, I would say 100% you're in the wrong, you overdid it, you were being too, you see my previous answer about,

you know, what I was talking about for the previous year of just like, it's annoying, but you should have just sucked it up for your girlfriend. The apology I'm very curious about, because every other aspect I would say, just go and be a good guy and like laugh and smile and fake it, whatever. Who's asking for the apology?

Is it the sister? Is it your girlfriend? Is it your girlfriend saying that we have? Right, that's what I was thinking. Right, like, also doesn't mean like he just has not spoken to or seen the sister like the entire year. Right, have you made this weirder?

Like, that's the thing, because if you have, if you've done this and you've made it a little weirder, and probably ultimately the answer is, yes, smooth this over. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. This is just the one part that,

if it was me, I would, because I have, I tend to fuckin' over, like if I'm, I have an anger, I have anger issues that I've pretty much dealt with, but there are times where I've acted like a dickhead, and then the smoke clears and I'm like, my bad, I find the, you know what I mean? Like, but the apology would piss me, even in that case, the apology would piss me off. You make a good point though, where it is, so here's my advice.

If you have to think about this, like Stavis said, who is making you apologize? If, because there is a thing called spotlight bias where you think everybody's thinking about you all the time, at all times, and you created the situation, people might not be thinking about it at all. We always think the spotlight on us. So, if there is nobody is actually asking you to apologize, but you're assuming you have to, and then creating this narrative,

don't do anything, just move on and be happy, because people forget shit, and they'll just see good energy, and they'll respond to positive energy. If it's your sister, if it's her sister or your girlfriend who's saying you need to apologize, then I would do like a fun apology. I wouldn't make it dramatic. I would go in there with the Chubaka mask from last year, say I was such an asshole about this thing. I apologize for my actions. Truth is, I fucking love this. Good time in the air, I'm hoping to get some similar, let's have a good party.

Here's your $50, fuck, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, apology, like they can be fun, like you can disarm it. Right away, you can disarm it. You walk in and you're like, sorry about, I was just, you know, I've been thinking about, I was just an asshole. I was having a makeup three since it doesn't matter, but I was stressed out, it's fun, I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait, you know, sorry about,

you know, can't wait to see what we get this year, whatever. Just like, but I do wonder like, it's crazy that he would need, he must have really been an asshole. If his girlfriend is make, because there's two things, he either really should apologize, or I guess three things, he should really apologize,

he was a complete dickhead, and he's so apologized no matter what. He wasn't that much of a dickhead, his sister and largelaw or girlfriend's sister is a dumb bitch who's digging her heels in and saying he has to apologize to me. In which case I would say, do the light apology. Apologize just be a good guy and just take it on the chin for your girlfriend. Now the third option is, and this is a sleeper that we haven't even considered, the girlfriend is forcing

him to apologize and it's like then it's like well what do we got what's going on here right she she she want to apologize apology to her or does she want to apology for has a sister not even asked for the apology but she thinks it would be a good thing to do right so but his from even his recollections his girlfriend is not a dumb bitch, right? It's just the sister. Right, it seems like the sister is the problem. The more math I'm doing, every negative point towards the apology feels ultimately not worth it.

No matter what it is, whether it's girlfriend, whether it's, it just just feels like you have to go fucking take it on the chin. And let's also say you were being a fucking baby. You were being a fucking little baby. Oh, I didn't like you, Buck. I want to, I want to jack Daniels. Shut the fuck up, dude. It's a fucking dumb.

You knew what you were doing. You were being a baby. Now's your comeuppance. It might be a little extreme, but you have to pay back with interest. Yeah, just, I would say, because when I'm rereading it says, I can't go unless I apologize for being unpleasant

and ungrateful the previous year. So it sounds like the girlfriend is saying you need to apologize. So if that's the case, then just do it. Do it because it's hard to do it. What's gonna happen is if you don't do it and you put your foot down and stay firm on this, you're gonna slowly break apart this relationship

because the sister's gonna hate you and the family's gonna hate you. And then before you know, you're gonna lose your girlfriend which might be your grandmaster plan, I don't know. That's true. There's a little bit of like, this definitely could be the start of the end of your relationship with that question.

And I will say, if you don't want that to be the case and you wanna marry, let's say you want to marry this girl, this dumb bitch is going to be in your life as your sister-in-law. You don't want to come off as the guy, because she might pull a dumb bitch, a real one that matters at some point. And you don't want to be the boy who cried, cunt.

You know what I mean? You want to save your, hey, your sister's a dumb bitch, we can't go along with her. Card, you want to save that for when it's like, you know, something important, some potential family disagreement. Dude, we're, we don't want to be a bad guy now. We're all impressionable, so it's like, you got to understand when shit goes wrong in your relationship,

she is probably going to her sister and her friends and her sister's friends and family, so you do not, you need those women to love you. Good point. And show what a great guy you are, and how, and her sister's friends and family. So you do not, you need those women to love you and show what a great guy you are and how this is actually the perfect opportunity for you to be the fucking man, dude. That's a good point.

You could get it to the point. Who in a reverse card right here? Exactly, yeah. Yeah, that's the point right now, where you were in the hole and you came up and showed, you were such a man to help her sister. That you literally went from like zero to hero like that

and she has got your back to anything dude. You could literally cheat on her with her mom. And the sister will be like, I fucking love this guy. He's a real man. So I would say apologize and do it and mean it. Good point. But you're actually getting all the power.

You think that you're apologizing and giving them a win, but you're the one who's winning. I agree. Yeah. And at the end, we see, at the end of his question, we see he's like, look, having said all this, I love my girlfriend and I know you have to. So you go with that attitude, know what it is, have a good time, and you might be able to go

to flip it, Uno reverse it. So good luck, buddy. Good luck. Don't be a little baby, he's mad, you got it, you're a bockum ass. Yeah. Good luck buddy. Good luck. Don't be a little baby, he's mad, you got it,

you're back amassed. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I got fucking annihilated last night at the next game. Yep. And then right behind me was Anthony Rizzo, the first basing for the Yankees and Aaron Judge.

Get the fuck out of it. Like literally right behind me. What the fuck? So I knew Anthony Rizzo a little bit because we did a show together on MLB Network and it was funny, we were talking, He was like, you know, he looks good He's jacked and whatever and I do this thing I guess people's weight sizes waist sizes. I was like oh 3632 was like that's weird. You knew that

I'm like dude. I fucking know what's going on is wife was like laughing or whatever Yeah, and then like all the throughout the game throughout the range of game all these people Yeah, people you know fans walking by be like oh shit, you know the Aaron judge. Yeah, like Aaron judge Fucking judge and it's like keeps going on whatever whatever and then at the end like in the third period like a peep, you know, fans walking by and be like, oh shit, you know, they're Aaron Judge. They're like Aaron Judge, fucking Judge. And it's like keeps going on, whatever, whatever. And then at the end, like in the third period, like this group of people, like walk by and they're like, Aaron Judge and I was like, what about Anthony Rizzo?

That's like, you know what I was like, fuck Aaron Judge, this guy lost 50 pounds to 36, 32. I do it, it was funny because I took a chance and I looked back and they were dying like, like judging Rizzo and I looked back and they were dying like judging The big contract Smart smart risos the annoying sister in the analogy, you know, that's what you were being great to him every the judge Every we know judges fucking yeah Smart move learn from Chrissy

That's awesome eldest what do we got babe? Stavvy eldest guest love the show. I'm 33, six foot three, good career, and do okay with ladies. Here's the problem. I love woman with big boobs. I love woman with big boobs. Why did you turn Indian in there? I'm feeling it's only.

Here's the problem. I love woman big boobs. Not women. I love woman with big boobs. I've got the same way since I was 13 and the feeling has only gotten stronger. I've tried dating gorgeous woman without the bazungas and always feel a chest size hold in my heart. We're talking minimum triple D's but honestly I prefer larger. I know it's coming from the territory.

Chubby, curvy,vy saggy i'm all in i know that i don't think that he would definitely do but it doesn't sound bad but it's not bad he said i know i'm all in i know this sounds bad yeah no it's not bad dude it's weird that you even think it's bad you like what you like chubby i love chubby well let's let him finish before we go on him let's go with the rack i'm serious about marriage and looking for sophisticated attractive woman however if curvy ladies get any sense that

you're in it for the jobs it's over no it's not the expert and i need your advice what do you talk about the quality of the love she was woman He's back. Big bull, please. I need the big woman bull. Quality from up to right. We need for Laptures. We're my big time bull. Good quality. I don't see the issue, man. You'll know. I love curvy, bluptuous women too. Of course. And by the way, saying like, you have some hang ups here. I don't think they, it's that you're in it for the jugs you clearly have a little fat phobia

this guy right you know you're clearly being like i know it sounds bad but i like a fat woman it's like that's fine that like those are there and in fact like you just have to stop with the stigma of it being bad that's not bad no like that that's you have to recognize you need to unless you're simply fetishized in these women and you do look down on them in a weird way. But this guy of all people should understand like you know there's nothing because people definitely do judge fat people. There's a moral judgment with fat because you can see our issue. Like it's like you know we can't see. Imagine if you got a freckle every time,

you know, you cheated on your wife or you fucking gamble their sum shit like that. It's like, you see when a fat person, so it's like, there is a moral thing in this country where we treat people, not in this country, it's actually worse and you're up here at least people are fucking fat as shit.

But, and even he said, I've tried dating gorgeous women without bazongas. And it's like, so what? These women are gorgeous. These chubby girls are gorgeous. They are. Some of the hottest, these are some incredibly hot women that are fucking plus size. What are we talking about? And it's like, it's like for me, from like just a, just a kind of, like, evolutionary point of view. Like I'm constantly looking at and finding a tract voluptuous, heavier women with like big wide hips because I'm like, I'm subconsciously being like, my baby's gonna get through that first canal

and it's head's not gonna get smushed but she's got big fat boobs that are good for milk and laying my baby's head down. That's what actually attracts men. So I'm like, I don't, yeah, I don't, it almost feels like it's not a curvy lady issue. It's a you issue. It's a you issue.

You might have been when I'm proud hypothesizing here is you probably were a fat pork or a kid Fat shame to lot now you've It's right away that you're six three so you want to know that you're a you're a prowess you know I'm kind of prowess and guy here So you might have been a little fucking chubby little shit cupcake And now and now and now you're not, and you're thinking like, hey, I deserve a not fat person.

I'm not fat anymore. It's like, then you're fucking things all wrong. Yeah, dude, I personally think like I've never had to me. It a woman's weight has never been a factor in her physical attractiveness. It's been like, you know, I don't, I like faces. I mean, I love, like if you're heavy and you have huge tits in a fat ass, I'm in.

Absolutely. If you're gonna be in that, if you're gonna be in the orange skinny, I just like boobs and a big butt. So I don't care what that comes, your stomach size is irrelevant. Yes. What are your tits and ass look like?

Absolutely, absolutely. Hey, man, sir. Thank you, give me applause, eldest. Yeah, so I agree with you. And here's the other thing. If you are, just a good dude who just doesn't, if you get this fetishization thing, and you claim he's saying he's not just looking

for anybody with a big rack, take this thinking away, and then I think you'll actually find you're playing it in an advantage here because because of our society, fat people aren't treated as well. Shubbid girls don't get hit on as much. And if you just don't treat her like a sex object and you treat her the way you treat anybody else, any other hot woman and you're trying to get to know her

and you say you're serious about marriage, all you have to do is do that and you're actually playing it in advantage because these women are mistreated by our society Yep, so when somebody's just nice and you just happen to like somebody who who looks like that You just have to make sure not to bring that weird maybe what you're picking up on is not that once they find out I'm into the boobs They're gone. Maybe they're picking out up on your weird energy towards fat people. Yeah That came through and in your little pre-written statement. Yeah, so that probably comes through on a date.

Yeah, maybe on the date you're being like, you're so beautiful for a fat chef. Yeah. And that's why you're feeling like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, I just, I really do think you're beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I know people might not say this to you a lot, but I think that, am I crazy for saying a heart? Yeah. I know, I have gotten a DM from a hot woman who was just like, for some reason I need you. And it's like, this would have been the best DM of my life if I didn't see the for some reason. Oh, yeah, do you know? The comments, am I the only one that thinks Chris is hot? Yeah, it's just like Jesus.

So yeah, dude, don't be like, yeah, I've tried dating hot women, but you just do it for me. Yeah, don't say shit like that. Be a regular guy, be a cool guy, and you're fine, dude. You have a little, you have a little fat phobia to take care of, though, my friend. Let's do one more before we have to send and Chris, you to pick up his children. I never get my kids, man, we're going to Bible study. Here we go. Chris you to pick up his children get my kids man we're going to Bible study Here we go hey, oh this is Stavvy I call that night but I was so fucking high on some homemade edible I feel like my my heart beat out of my chest and I was fucking all wowed up and I made that call so I wanted to

Wanted again. I got a holiday-seen question before. I do suppose to my now-seancey, we've been together for like six years. Her dad is like, he's like a Fox News conservative dad, you know, pretty basic stereotype. But he's good dude. So I make sure to like, call him and talk to him and, you know, he's a boy, you have my blessing. Oh, nine yards, type of shit. Found that after I proposed that he's going to like pay for the whole wedding. And he's willing to drop like 25 grand. So like, you know, have a night's classy wedding, which I needed to hit the pipe, but I wasn't like straight

up expecting it. Twenty-five grand. It really seems to my holiday-seemed question. Like, what the hell? We just feel like pressure that we need to like get him a good Christmas gift or something. I don't know. I just feel awkward. He's pretty much giving us a $25,000 present. What the hell do you respond? I don't know. We had like, he like birds, so we had like the little shitty little bird house. We were going to give them that we beforehand, but that doesn't really seem adequate. He's going to be out of the country, so we're not going to be seeing him for a little bit until after Christmas, honestly. So we have some extra time. And your family?

Yeah. I don't know. It's like, what the hell do we get somebody is getting us at $25,000 a present. It's a lot of pressure. Feel weird. I feel like maybe we just need to go like sentimental route or something.

But anyway, that's my question. Love the show. Do you see that? I gotta say, this guy, this, this father-in-law's got him by the bulls. I was going to say the greatest gift, dude. The greatest gift you can give him is probably another guy who can pay for his daughter's only wedding.

That's probably the gift that he's hoping for. Oh my God. That's so suck. What I will say, it's a nice gesture, beautiful gesture. I would think I would try to do the same for my daughter. I think this matching, you're not ever gonna match a $25,000 gift. So I think if you're gonna get a gift sentimental is around. I think forget about money.

That has nothing to do with money should be not in the equation. If he likes birds and it's a bird house, maybe you custom make it for him, paint it something sentimental value because whatever gift you give him is not gonna you know fill the $25,000 whole so it does matter and it's also like he's doing this for himself too. I mean it's like look he's doing this because he wants to give his daughter like a fucking crazy wedding he's been thinking about this it's also a

status symbol for a lot of these motherfuckers to have like a and like you said what kind of shit town are you living in? We're 25 granders, you know? You know, that's, you guys are gonna get some Miller like kicks. That's, but again, it's beautiful. It's a really nice gesture on your right, but it's also like, you know, that's part of, that's just part of your kids' life.

Like he's not, he's going to, he sure he could give you nothing, but you know, I wouldn't let this trip you up. And in fact, I think like already starting this as like you're indebted to this guy, it's a weird energy to have. It's like he's just being a good dad and he's, you know, you guys,

you seem to have a pretty good relationship with him. And just yeah, just get him, I would say get him a slightly better than normal present Yeah, but nothing fucking crazy nothing crazy and just be genuine as I'm sure you are with the thank Thank you to him because he knows like and it's what it is I am up Sorry, I would rather do 25,000 dollars put that in a down payment. I'll start that dude That's the thing. This guy didn't give you 25 grand. He's fucking throwing a party to stroke his own ego, too.

Right? He didn't give you $25,000. And by the way, he didn't give, he definitely didn't give it to you. If he gave it to anybody, it's his daughter. Exactly. It's like, you're just along for this fucking ride. You don't want to seem, I'm grateful,

but you also don't want to seem like, you know, if this is a Fox News dad, you don't want to seem ungrateful, but you also don't want to seem like, you know, this is a Fox News dad. You don't want to seem like you're completely subservient. He wants to know that his daughter is with a man. Yeah, dude, you're really gonna get him a gift, bring him the head of a Palestinian girl. That's what he did. Yeah, a guy like that would like that, you're right.

Yeah. The nouns Hamas at the wedding. Yeah, during your toast, if you really want to make him feel good. Yeah, dude, that's all you're right. The nouns Hamas at the wedding. During your toast, if you really want to make them feel good, that's all you could do. Don't bring up anything that Israel's up to, you know what I mean, text. Get apart of their defending. Say that they're defending the Holy Land.

He'll probably love that. He'll love that. In fact, just talk about how it's the end of days. Yes. We're clearly seeing it. These conservatives, their dicks are hard. They literally think Israel's gonna nuke Palestine so hard that Jesus comes back.

Yeah, do. So, if anything get him a sandal, yeah, do it. Some sandals, a tuna. Get him a cameo from Megan Kelly. Yeah. Yeah. You're lying.

Yeah. Get Tucker Carlson to be like, You do that. What's going on here? It be like, I do do that. What's going on here? It looks like your daughter's getting married. Congratulations. I hope, I hope he's not a homo. I hope she's not marrying a closet homosexual.

Yeah dude, you're good and yeah, don't let this trip you up too much. It's for his daughter, it's for him to a certain extent and just be a Fug just can this doesn't in my opinion it doesn't change much in your relationship All this is always just like a father-in-law has more money They're always gonna chip something in to the wedding and you know you want to be nice

You want to continue your good relationship, but you don't have to feel like you're fucking you know this really honestly It's kind of on your wife. Right. It's on your wife, because he's giving his little girl the wedding she wants. Yeah. She's not, you weren't, you weren't, when he was putting away this $25,000, he never for one second thought about you.

Yeah. It's about his fucking, so just support her. She's got to call the shots, you got to support her and you just got to have to be thankful and like, continue your good relationship, respectful relationship with him. That's pretty much it. But you don't want

to, you also don't want, you don't want to be a guy who's like bought so easily by his fucking father by his in-laws, dude, you know, like, yeah, I mean, he sounds pretty young. He'll figure all this shit out, but, um, yeah, I think it's a nice letter for the holidays. That's a little nice. Higher. Yeah, something actual you put in the time. Yeah, I like that sentimental. Yeah, because yeah, it really isn't about the money. It's about like just, you know, hooking his girl up for the wedding and yeah, yeah, just write this guy a nice little note

and don't, you know, he's just again, he's off said it's like for the daughter. Yeah, yeah. So you're good, man. You're good little buddy. Don't worry, don't sweat it too much. This guy's got way more money than that probably. If he's given 25 for a wedding.

If he's given 25 for a wedding. And also like he's for the, like the real life. He's out of the country. If he was really, you know, if he really was like, oh, this guy is gonna be the guy from my daughter, he would have put it in the house. He was like, I'm just gonna have a party. I'm not investing anything in their future. I'm not gonna put it in a down payment house that'll

be the second house. That's right. That's right. That only do a fresh christian thing you want people to put anything to plug anything for people to see. You know obviously keep Christ you know in your heart in your mind his ways his miracles are upon us and they're happening each and every day. Yeah, Chris wants to plug the first 80 pages of that book. He's rigorous.

He's rigorous. The chapters one to four. 20 page chapters. That's a wow. Real intellectual stuff. If you want to hear my sermons, go to Christycomedy.com. I got shows and rounding out the tour LA San Diego Reno Nevada, Washington DC, Nashville Christycommy.com.

My podcast, Christycast with Mike Cannon and Hay Babe with SoundBalkane. I love it. Check those out. To great guys. That's it, baby. I love it. Thank you, Chris. Thanks for coming.

Merry Christmas, everybody. We'll see you next week. We'll see you know, we got a Christmas episode and we're ending the year with some, we're going to catch up with some of our Patreon subscribers. People have called in, we did a live call-in show. So thanks guys and we'll talk to you next week. Bye bye. you