Stavvy's World - #58 - Sarah Sherman and Jack Bensinger

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

Sarah Sherman and Jack Bensinger join the pod to discuss why Sarah was late, how she needs to find a better therapist, chiropractors, hall passes, glass eyes, and much more. Sarah, Jack and Stav help callers including a guy who's self-conscious about having dentures while dating, and a guy weirded out by the girl he's dating's attraction to anime characters. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVVY to score $200 IN BONUS BETS INSTANTLY when you bet just $5. Also check out DraftKings Fantasy Sports! For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Follow Sarah Sherman on social media: https://www.sarahsquirm.com/ https://www.instagram.com/sarahsquirm/ https://twitter.com/SarahSquirm Follow Jack Bensinger on social media: https://www.jackbensinger.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jackbensinger https://www.youtube.com/c/jackbensinger https://twitter.com/JackBensinger https://www.tiktok.com/@jackbensinger Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Buh-bye! Welcome everybody to Stovey's World. We have an incredible show for you today. Two very funny people, Sarah Sherman. Those who are using Considerate will get into that soon. Jack Benzinger, super funny, but before we do that, it's January. I want to let you know. Come on folks, by the 2024 Stovey Baby Calendar. You may be late. You're late to plan your year. This will get to you before the end of January I promise it and it's beautiful. We got a lot of maybe blur some of these out. I don't want to show ash cheeks But you do get my cheeks folks. So that's another reason to buy them and listen like I said You know who's going all the way the Ravens baby, okay? Are you a Ravens fan? Are you a fan of Ronnie?

The viral character sweeping the nation that has made watching football a little bit of a chore for me because I can't just enjoy it. I have to be constantly thinking about the video right after the game. Well, good news because we got shirts available right now at Stavvy.biz. Go grab them. Okay, tab of the 69 on the back. This episode is presented by DraftKingsFantasySports. Check out what DraftKings has to offer this season with code Stavvy, STAVVY, because life's more fun when you're in on the action. DraftKings, the crown is yours, gambling prom. Call 100 gambling agent, not your blood sugar supply, and what your permanency, DraftKings.com

for details. Let's start the show. Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavvy's World. What a beautiful new year it is here, 2024. Called 904-800-STOP. We have...we're turning, I guess, Sarah Sherman's here, Jack Bensinger are here, thanks guys. Sarah, on time is hell. It's definitely not. 45 minutes after the time we agreed on, that was already one hour later

than the original time we had agreed on. And I was, and I did say this when I walked in, I was actively laughing when we walked in, thank you, Ali. Yes, you're almost, you're nearly two hours late from the original, and I'll give you credit, that's not, we did postpone it to 130 you had therapy at 1230 which is hilarious to think about what your therapist even can get through Like doesn't even get does he has even made it through your clothes yet?

That's hard well you don't do real therapy. Yeah, like when I do therapy Which I don't because I'm I don't need to shake it. It's a perfect cool. When I do that, I talk about real shit. Like, oh, I'm afraid of flying. I'm afraid of this and that. You do like catching up with your, not if you have a friend. Yeah, please tell me what you're an hour late.

What you pushed an hour. We really did have to get to the bottom of things today. Okay. You know, I was talking about, you know, I was like, he was like in a lot of your work, you use the symbol of the eye a lot and I think you go into your work He works there he works that's S.L. Oh, can I say that you work there yet? Wait, they have a fucking court an SNL appointed therapist

I have everything. It's so fucking fun. I mean, well that's true. I went and found this guy. I said, give me the, I went to the therapy store. I said, give me the craziest guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and so he, it's. Wait, does he work there or not?

Oh, God. Who knows, dude? I don't fucking know. You know what? That could be a cult. There was like a chiro, one of the hosts, not gonna name. Yep. One of the hosts brought their chiropractor

to the, to, chiropractor to the to everybody who's lying in everybody up. It was lying in everybody up and he was, and I was kinda like, I was a little, I was like, ah, well, but that's it. Chiro, have we talked about this? I was talking, I was just faking. Cause my, I think I brought up how I was looking

into like my family, cause apparently my dad's, my dad, the maternal side of my dad's family, they had a couple guys that came to America and want like a great, great uncle of mine, is one of the founding fathers of chiropractic. What the fuck? He's buried on Long Island.

Yes, we talked about it because you're from there. Yes, yes, yes. Is that all Greek people? Everybody who's from Greece, just because I feel like they invented almost everything. Yeah, dude, that was actually a surprise to me that this motherfucker came over and was just like Indicire practicing and then apparently shit his brother was either a gambler or a bounty hunter something cool And she gave my grandma like a ton of money and then he just and they never heard from him again

He died on in the wild west. He cracked his own. We do thing. What's that that that that that oh that's fake. I mean I can try it Usually I have a mint in my mouth So that was yeah, I can go. Hey Sarah. Hey Sarah watch this and any crunches I can crunch my Those crunches in 20 years Really yeah, if you crunch it too much you're you're after life. I feel good with it big I feel good Feel school. Yeah But I'm proud. How come bad guys in movies always go like,

and then they fuck people up then? Well, because of that. How about that idiot? Yeah, let's do it so stupid. How about the strongest coolest guys always do it? I can't imagine being called as dumb as you. I'm trying to. I've hit a guy before really yeah over what?

Yeah, it's Matt right No, Matt Davis for watching this remember when I punched you in high school What do you do? I was being a designated driver in high school Thank you. Do you have an applause sound cue don't give like a community designated driver? No, just like for the you know, I kind of wasn't for the crew. For the crew. And were you the go-to DD? Yeah, because I didn't like drinking that much.

I think you know what I mean. Oh no, you were a fucking loser. You were a loser in the owner, you give people to hang out with you is by fairing them from bar to their homes. That's, if you were the DD every time, that means you were a fucking door. Well, no, I wasn't the DD every time

because I don't know if your guys is town had this, but we had Gary, the D.D. every time, that means you were fucking doing it. Well, no, I wasn't the D.D. every time because I don't know if your guys' town had this, but we had Gary, the illegal taxi driver. We had one now. We didn't have Gary. Of course Gary. He was like a guy. There was no Uber, there was no nothing. So you would go to the train station where Gary's car was parked at the Great Neck

Train Station and you would ask him if you could drive you around for the night and you would buy you beer and you had to pay him like 20 bucks. That's it They had to have been more than that. My memory. It was like we gave Gary 20 bucks And then he bought us beer and then drove us around all night. Yeah, well, I mean didn't he molested anybody? Well, he must like prime molesting stuff He kind of disappeared without any What's the I was gonna say what's the, eh, well? I was gonna say, what's the ethics of bringing up people

that we know that are pedophiles? Carbone. Carbone. I was just saying, I guess can you bleep Gary? No, he's not doing that. Well, no, I can't do it either. What were you gonna say first line last time on a pedophone? No, I wasn't.

Do you have any, I know two of them. What? Two of them Two of my Yeah, my wish I could just tell all about it, but I know he's been a jail. You know the same name You know You know Has like a family and so that would just you know why open a wound that's already been wound You know what I mean?

Right so you're saying if someone commits a crime but they have a family they should get away with it You're that you're you're Contents you with that That's a pretty cool guy overall Yeah, and you're right he should be around more children the more children you have the more okay It is whatever you did because look at been lot and he had in that compound had how many fucking family members probably a lot of them and he was house in the mall what are we gonna do shoot them in the head now what we're talking about orphans loose in Pakistan

oh that's right by the way all of his relatives turn out to be quite the lookers yeah what I don't know that they're all that hot his his there's got there's goth oba osama there's goth osba Osama. There's goth Osama. There's the niece who's like kind of like Maga. Yeah. Interesting. Oh, Osama been loved and family. See, we'll look at the gorgeous niece. Oh yeah.

And he was six but seven? No, he was tall and shit. That's probably why he was all mad because he didn't get to do that. Yeah, she's pretty, you know, I mean, whatever. I guess I would fuck her. Well, and then there's the one who.

It's taller than you. Yeah, there's not he's dead. There's, and then there's the one who... It's taller than you. Yeah, there's not. He's dead. There's the famous Terry, what's his name, Tweet? It's like Osama was tall to sell. He should have hooped instead of... Yeah. What does it find the Terry... Yeah, there's just Gothsson.

I talked about the CEO's product. Oh, Magiotski Ducks on the Twin Towers. That would have been good instead of the plans. Yeah, that's actually good. Honestly, he should have done a dunk contest. He chooses his champion. We choose ours. Who is this one?

That's his goth son. Whoa, really? Yeah, that looks, I'll tell you that. It looks like multi, Christopher multi-synth. He looks like he's one of the matrix twins. He looks like corn. He looks like, uh, yeah.

He looks like corn. Corn, yeah. Yeah, he looks cool. Um, anyway, look up. Terry Rose-Year Osama bin Laden. I just want to know the tweet. Terry Rozier. Uh, that's not how you spell whatever it doesn't matter.

I can't believe we're taking the truck. So, Ossam, there it is. A truncated podcast. Look at it. Shut the fuck up. But we're talking. You're the one. You're the one that's two hours late.

You dumb bitch. And I look at it. What? Osama should have hooped to set it trying to kill people because he tall his hell That's come from Tara's here Point guard for the fucking point guard for the Charlotte Hornets Anyway, Charlotte back to what we were talking about the pedophiles you both know

On the record won't snitch on a pedophile folks. She holds it down for pedophiles. Okay. So what's legal? And then it's like, when you dig an up old, and then the victims are getting hurt. Oh, and they're watching this right now. By the way, we probably do have a pretty molested fan base. A lot of people have so much fun.

Shout out to the molested, that's not bad. You've probably had both. I bet you have the molested and the people who did that. Shout out to the molester, that's not bad. You know, both. I bet you have the molester. The people who did it. So this is your, I don't think so. I'm gonna come, I don't want, if you are molestered, stop watching.

We don't want you. I want to say that right now. Unlike Sarah, who's got your back and won't say anything about you, I'll man tie you. You take who you can get these days. I'll say this. No one goes up to me on the street. love your sketch. They were so hard on Sarah

They go I love you on stovs That's right, bitch. You got it. Mads want you to know I'm molested people and I love you on stop Hey, thanks for being an ally for the molester community Sarah. We loved your own Hey, thanks for being an ally for the molester community, Sarah. We love Joe Stoppies world. I mean, it's crazy. Before he banned us from listening, but we'll always cherish you as the number one pro molester guest on Stoppies world. Now, before we did this, Sarah said to me, Jack, don't say anything weird. Don't mess up my reputation or whatever. Does this count? I feel like we can't believe anything because we have just a little time Sorry, that's their good lights, man

It's just like there's a there's a scrap everywhere so what they can't where doesn't even see how much crap don't say There's not that much crap What you should be doing I know I did call from the car We were too late like calls in the car and I said I just want. I know I did call it from the car. We were at the first late, and I called from the car, and I said, I just want you to know, I feel guilty about how late we are. And I don't want you to think that I don't respect your time. And I don't respect the old.

I'm just gonna leave 20 minutes before I'm supposed to be there to come across town in the middle of the day. But it's not a disrespect thing. I'm just stupid, I guess. Well, there was an accident on the BQE mind you and how could you and how could you take the Supremacy of your podcast over the lives So do you think if you left 20 minutes earlier those people wouldn't have died or what do you think what are you saying there? They were all right. It is your fault. I saw them walking around

Four fire trucks. They were faking it honestly. They probably were like they knew we were coming Yeah, they were out. They were out. They were four fire trucks. They were faking it, honestly. They probably were. It's like they knew we were coming here and they were fucking with us. Yeah, somebody sent it. So fucked up. He said, oh, we heard stuff.

I was going to say something mean about your outfits. We might as well. I like your outfit. Thank you. I mean, it is stupid, but it's fun. Well, and that was what I was talking about today. Yeah, let's get back to you therapy with your- In therapy, it was like, maybe I dress like a child because I was like,

well, this isn't funny. No, no, it'll be fun. Well, it's just like, because I grew up emotionally, you know, I'm sure we all did. We're little adults when we were children. Right. You're coming back for your adolescence right now. You're perpetual, Peter Panash, bitch.

But something, the last time, you know what? The last time I was here wasn't in my 30th birthday. Oh yeah. And I was right after that. And I was thinking about getting older. And now I'm kinda like, I do kind of a little bit wonder how I do like this outfit in particular. When I'm 42, is it gonna look not good?

Oh, you passed that Rubicon a while ago. It was the difference between 31, 42. I actually think this is the worst at a look actually. I think it looks better when you're old. Right. Because when you see a funky old person, it's like, Oh, that's cool. They don't give a fuck. When she's someone in their third, he's trying to be young. It's like, it's over. And you're looking at him, you're going, will she's dropped dead? So why is she using clothes as a self defense So this is what you were talking about with your very real therapist today because you could have skipped that We could have talked it out here. Honestly. Well, we talked about my preoccupation with the archetype of

Seeing and to be and revealing and to be perceived. That's too much. That's too fucking, that's too like poetic for therapy. Well, that, it is, that dooby what it's like. Like basically what we talked about today was that my, no, that's not, that's something I'd be like, it's not like philosophical conversation. That's the way I know were it represents in your work

And this pissed me off by okay, no my grandma makes you rest. Thank you. All right P Do you have a boo? We need a boo that would have been awesome. I Would play the when I was the, when I was little, when I was little, she would play the, this is what it is. It's not some bullshit about what it reveals. Some lady in your life had a fucking eye

and was putting in your face as a little kid. That's why you're preoccupying with it, damn. You needed to be here an hour earlier. I would have set you fucking straight. God. Well, I was just a lot, and then, and then, so, and then. then I would take it out and just fuck with you. So I would come down for breakfast in the morning.

That's a pretty second on it. Kind of. It's been at you. God, I was like, when you have a glass of ice, I'm fine. You have a glass of ice. There is a prosthetic orb sewn into your head to hold the place of the eyeball. So like there is like a blank white prosthetic orb in your eye, but the thing that it looks like the eyeball is a hand painted lens that goes on top, the sewn in prosthesis.

So it's kind of like contact, you can switch them out basically. Right, right. Okay. And it's painted to look exactly like your other Eye and there's veins in it and then my grandma had multiples of those so once you die May she rest yep, I inherited all the lenses really yes, and then so she would do the thing where she'd take out the lens Part and they were just be the white or white eye were you looking fucked up. Yeah, and she would take her like a

Suisseur looking like a look at my god dentures out. I'm look yes I That's fucked up and so I would come down for breakfast in the morning a grandma's house like Do a jump scare at me. Oh, that's pretty good. Yes. It's pretty good It's like well as I was talking about my therapist today I was like my way that explains a lot and I was like you know and I said I said I was like I do use a lot of eyeballs in my Mom right right okay So well here's my big question right is like what's the I said, I was like, I do use a lot of eyeballs in my mouth. Right. Okay.

I assume. So, here's my big question, right? Is like, what's the thing that you're trying to make better in your life when you're talking about the eyeball? I think it's definitely a, it's definitely a childhood trauma. Sure. I don't want it, I know people- From the grandma being like, ah, yeah.

Right. Right. So, it's free of people. Yeah, yeah. I don't want it. I know from you're from the grandma being like God damn if therapy doesn't teach you like your fuck those first four years. Oh, yeah, you are fuck You're fucked and you have no idea either Everyone thinks they can just fuck around with the bait like we our friend has a baby that we just go and we say We talk the way we do. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, you little fucker, fuck you.

Why aren't you fucking smiling? I'm saying shit like that. They're listening. They're, he's definitely listening. Dude, I was just chilling with my niece and they, I didn't think they were listening to me at all and then all of a sudden, my sister's like, can you show us where your belly button is?

List it, shirt up and points to it and I'm like, you were fucking listening this whole time. But how big is this niece? That. What are we talking about? Three. We're talking for almost two. So one, in the world.

You know what I'm saying? I know that's the fuck the thing. They can understand you before they can talk. And you think they can't. It's fucked up. This is like the little guy that we've been hanging out with. I mean, you have nieces, but like, this is the first baby that I've actually given a fuck about.

Like, you know, you see a baby, you're like, all right, cute kid, who cares? My best friend, my best friend that grew up with, she used to live here, she used to live in this room. Well, you just said that so, like, it's my best friend. It's my best friend, dummy. My best friend, girl division.

How do you say most of my best friends are men. But the one girl, he's her. You know? And so, yeah, he just started talking, or like, he went from like a complete nothing to just like, you could tell he's like, like forming words and they started pretending to talk and then you learn the word up and that was fucked up.

Cause he likes getting tossed around. And so he just came up to me and he was like, up, just doesn't talk to me. And then I start, lifting him and he's like, you know, laughing and clapping and it's like, damn, he knows shit now. And it's just a matter of time, dude, flash forward 20 years, 30 years,

he's gonna be sitting, talking to the therapist. There was this fucking dude. Yeah, he would throw me around. Throw me around, I was telling him, stop, stop. He would call me a little fucker. I swear, I remember my first birthday. I know everybody said, like, what happened? I believe it.

I have never been. OK, this is, I'm in the chair. The high chair? The high chair. The birthday chair. It's like, what the, I'm in the chair. There's a big blue cake in front of me. And I'm thinking, like like this is fucking crazy blue

Right and I'm like think and they're my that's reserved for like Grover at that time Like no food like that and you know at the present The first birthday like get all up in it with the hands get all up in it And I have a memory of I'm getting all up in it and I'm going like up in it Yeah, all up in it and I have a memory of them getting all up in it And I'm going like I can't believe this is blue in its food And I take the lip there's a little clown on the top of my cake Uh-oh And I got a little clown collar and stuff like that

And I put it in my mouth and I go that's actually not food Oh that's a person That's the thing I need to be the rest of my life Yeah That's not food That's my whole knee That's me I I need to be the rest of my life. Yeah, that's not food Myself We just broke it down how much are you paying your therapist meanwhile? I'm getting cashew milk and cold brew that's right. That's right

And this year on stives you'll be have started a reimburseing guest for their time you will be you will get less Obviously, I will be subtracting fifty dollars from you as a little as a lesson to you will be, you will get less obviously. I will be subtracting $50 from you as a little, as a lesson to you to be on time. We were so late and so I was like looking at the YouTube in the car. First of all, couldn't find the YouTube to save my life. Okay. You Google, stop. That does not come up. Stop?

Yes. That's TV. Yeah. Interesting. Oh, it, because it's a different channel. It's like your standout comes up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop it. So first, I'm in, I'm lost. First, so, first.

First time on the internet. You know, you know, you know, maybe try a different search term. Maybe scroll down literally maybe three times. It'll come up. You know what you guys are good at? Every thumbnail's got a lot going on. It's a visual feast. Yeah, that's all.

I'll just send Benny Bouchy, who designs the. That's Shane. Shane, shout out to Shane, our send Benny butchics is that true who who designs the that's Shane. Shane shout out to Shane our editor. He's yeah he's been getting suck them off Shane. He needs a little nickname. Yeah, let's work let's work on suck them off Shane. That's all suck them off Shane. I've never seen his butt in my life. He's got I don't know. Yeah, why is that? He's probably got him. Sounds nice. Sounds fun. What the fuck are you asking for? Don't don't ever go against the family in public eldest Discoord on live on the podcast Bald guy is perfect. Not bald, O'Brien.

Bald O'Brien's really good too. Beno bald guy's not bad, but he's Benny Bunchy. He's Mr. Cheeks. He's Bunchy, he's Mr. Cheeks. He used to be Mr. penis, and then we switched it. Because he looks like a penis. Yeah, I get. He looks like a penis.

He's a big bald, fainty penis. Yeah. He is like, he's like, yeah. Yeah. Hey, Deathly doesn't look like an O'Brien. No. Wow. I saw him with that a shirt once. He's like sturdy like a nice heart.

Elden is not in cut. He wouldn't think it. He's always rocking the overalls. But he told me about his like crazy little smoothie he drink. He does plyometrics every day. That's good as fuck. I'm like, damn, Ben, let me get a mesh tank top on

and let me just fucking feast my eyes. Yeah. You ever seen him? Sometimes he does that thing where he wears a vest with no shirt underneath. Wow. Yep. And he does, doesn't he do car-breaking? Basically. He does body work. Yes. You know, what a good resource. I go, my knee hurts, text-ben. He knows exactly what's going on. Wow, that's great. When you fell on the ground. And for everyone,

Benny Bunchieks is a returning guest, obviously he's also the consigli area of Stavvy, baby, enterprise, and the director of Fat Rascal, available now on Netflix folks. So yeah, Benny, Ben's the man, used to share an office. And used to share an office. Used to go to his home. I used to go to his house. In this garage or whatever the fuck.

And that was, did you never go to it? I went there. Did you ever go to it? No. there. Did you ever go to it? No. And guess what was painted on the wall? Put your eyeballs. I was. Exactly.

What else? Is it eyeballs? It's clowns. What else? The teeth thing. And then my therapist was kind of on one about, so, hear me out. Yeah, we're having. So a preoccupation with teeth.

Uh-huh. My therapist was trying to get to, he was, so I was talking about how like the only images I have of myself as a child. Like I'm sorry, teeth and your grandma had a fucking fake eye and popped her dent into the house. I guess it's as simple as that. It's really just your grandma. I know, but he was trying to be like,

well, maybe you dress crazy because you don't want to be metabolized easily by others. Oh, this guy's fucking Stealing your money. That is so fucking stupid. He was just honestly like he was he was cooking He was like let's see how fucking let's see how fucking crazy I can get on this one Holy shit are you fucking kidding me? We do and lying down like this And then he said I mean he's like scribbling and he's like and you know, a week dude! And I'm lying down like this and then he said, I mean he's like scribbling and he's like,

and you know what's funny is that I'm lying down, I'm getting the full lie down treatment. He's on top of you. He's on top of you. You know whatever, and it's Lacanian method, which is that he can end the session at the moment of breakthrough So that like

Bull shit. We gotta do that. That's awesome. What a fucking scan. It was the breakthrough. I need $300 Please do you ever wonder if perhaps you are wasting either time or money? She's doing both But do you but to she ever wonder that we're all wondering that I'm not wondering and I know it here There's no wonder I know for a fact you are a dear friend of mine. You are a dear friend of mine as well Mm-hmm. Do you want to be hearing me talking like oh, there's no I'm basically kind of I'm paying someone to just be like annoying to twice a week so that went you're paying too much So he doesn't need to be this fucking, he doesn't need to know some,

whatever it is it's too much. And you can go, and you can go to a much, if that's all you're paying for, go to a fucking, somebody who takes your insurance. Is that when I'm having a panic attack, I do walk to Jack's house and I have a panic attack there. Because it's always about something awesome that happened, which is weird.

Oh yeah. Can't feel joy, huh? Yeah. It's because you think you go downstairs to go experience some joy for the day and then someone's eye pops out. Which is weird. Oh, yeah, I can't feel joy, huh? Because you think you go downstairs to go experience some joy for the day and then someone's eye pops out So you think oh, I don't want to get happy because Someone else's eye pops out because I got happy but I have a question for the Community in the room please please I said the comedians in the room. He's not a comedian. He's a producer. I'm not coming. He's a funny guy

But you know not by trade. No, adjacent. Yeah. You're hitting those sound cues like fucking hot. He's definitely an entertainment professional. He's the best tour manager in the business in one of the, he's both the best and worst producer in podcasting. And that's what's beautiful about Elders.

He is the bestest job in the worst. What's the worst thing you've ever done as a bad producer? One time one of these cameras, one of the cards wasn't plugged in. One of the angles so we lost 4k on the angle. Wow. Who is the guest though? I don't remember. Do you remember? I just care it. Yeah, okay. Funny guy.

Sometimes the worst thing you'll ever do is the best thing you could have done. Wow. No, he's actually, yeah. It's actually nice. He's good. What he fucks up is usually easily fixable quickly and fun to berate him because of like the what if he didn't catch it.

I think chip to your tooth once again, my friend. I did. I've never chipped it. I lost it completely. And then I woke up one day and my new tooth was chipped and I have no recollection of how it happened. And I was just getting high in my apartment and I woke up and it was chipped. You think it's because it's fake and it has less integrity?

I think it's actually stronger. Oh, well, I think I don't, I can't believe we're at a point where it's like, we should just be replacing them entirely. They're not, these don't work. Yeah, you guys don't have veneers yet. No, you got beautiful veneers, man. No. I'll get them. You will. I can afford them. I'll get him. Hell you know, I like

Extremely famous platform. Yeah, but stop the catch doesn't show up on Google Google what it fucking is Google the name Google stops you have it's you're a lot it you're you can't yeah, it's a fucking forged for later. You try on youtuber Google I don't remember was a little blue Hold on let's just say let's let's highlight what she's complaining about on the uber here when she was already late She decided to do a little Preparation while being already one hour late for the podcast. She was preparing and now she's mad because she typed in STAV instead of STAVVY. She's pissed off she couldn't

handle two extra letters while also for the record being over one hour hours. I was looking at the why the fuck is stop Shaka what the fuck now I'm pissed off actually. actually I The one is stop beggar Stop is lost.com you don't even come up at all. This is something you can pay for it But how about this search stop I bet I'm the number one stop V No, there's some fucking oh no, I'm the second one Stavvy digital real Estate Transaction Platform. Get the fuck outta here.

Who the fuck is that? Dude, don't disrespect that man. That's Stavvy Digital Real Estate Transaction Platform. Go to the rebel. Go to the rebel Wikipedia. No, we're not going to my Wikipedia. Come on, let's see. Get the real Wikipedia, right?

Hi, we're Stavvy. Stavvy is transforming real estate transactions into a swift, secure, data driven experience. In other words, moving real estate beyond documents. What? This is a scam. Crypto real estate is stolen. This looks like a fake site, like a template that barely got it.

And yes. Well, fuck this company. We're at war with them. Yeah, look at that. It's not a comm though. That's a great. Stobby.com. I'm Stobby.biz.

They split you though with the dot com. I never wanted dot com. I'm a biz guy. I'm about my fucking business. I'm at a bar. He is an Ashley Turing comic who came to prom and found me. Stop reading my fucking wicket. Hell is move on. She wants to, she wants to bam. It's not enough, it's not enough for her to be late. She has to read my wicket to fill the time. Was I finally for the love,

the love of God found the Stav podcast page? Stavis world's call the right, you're on it right now. It's no the name. It's the second time you're on it. I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm going these episodes are two hours. There's no way we're going to do this. Well, I think we'll be able to crank an hour. It's two hours.

Because we're having fun. Yeah, that's true. It doesn't fly by. The long, I mean, most of the time, we never intended for this. That's my question. That's what's weird is that I basically, I have, I don't know, it's weird to be like,

oh, I like pot, I've discovered enjoying podcasting. Because it's in my house. I never have to travel. I'm with my, I'm with eldest. Weirdly, I was thinking and this goes back to the therapy of it all. And also real quick, I'm talking to my friends, so I actually don to travel. I'm with my I'm with Eldis weirdly. I was thinking and this goes back to the therapy of And also real quick. I'm talking to my friends who actually don't see so I actually enjoy the conversations, too But anyway Since last time I did it

Is that possible? Yeah, probably it's been a wild year. It's been a wild year Those to prominence as a blue human. Doing blue humor, that's true. What? But oh, but I was telling Jack in the car right on my hair. I was like, you know, the podcast is really fun because people call in and ask stop questions and his EQ is very high. So actually, it is kind of, you do weirdly have like therapy language. What does EQ mean? That's what I said. That's's what I said I cue And is that I what is EQ is not a sound that's a sound thing equalizer you get emotional intelligence Google

But it is kind of like your I guess it does mean emotional and yet shouldn't be E.I It should be E.I. That's an IQ test. And that goes again, that's how we battle AI. With E.I. This is fucking love in our hearts. I've had it with E.I. by the way. I love E.I.

You know what? I've had it. I've had it. Sarah's pissed off because if you just type in clown shitting pants big eye, there goes all her shit. Yeah, I can completely replace her. Literally yes. I've been clown shitting pants big eye. There goes all her shit. I can completely replace her. Literally yes.

And does this go on TikTok as well? I mean, we'll do some clips, I suppose. And that's another thing I've drawn the line with. That. TikTok, you don't enjoy it. No, it's, no. I don't have no. That's groundbreaking, sir.

You're really fucking taking a stand you're against short form Don't think it's like crazy. Yeah, of course, but this is crazy that you're saying this out loud That this is what you think is like merits discussion Tiktok's bad. We all know that. No, listen to him, you got this, okay? Nobody's ever done a rant about TikTok being in the hot. Just quit. Star my clock, star my clock. All right, we have 37 seconds left to the podcast.

Sarah, Iso about how bad TikTok is, let's go. And look right into that camera give us what give us your best But what's right bad about tick tock? It is a skits a for frantic Good job buddy. That's awesome I was like, this is a nice schizophrenic girl. You don't want to get a hypnotic girl. You can piss off left and right, but if you piss off schizophrenic, they're magazines on the streets. I grew up in the streets.

I actually should bring this up in therapy tomorrow. Tomorrow? Are you fucking getting you hold on a second. You pushed the fucking podcast back to go because you had back to back therapy. You couldn't have just had a double session tomorrow. God you're a fucking asshole. I guess what? So I'm on the couch and I'm lying like this. And so my island is out the window and I just see this big Billboard for the new Sandler movie Leo and I'm just locked in eyes with Leo my full therapy session And I told Sandler I say while I'm unpacking my inherited holocaust trauma I'm just staring right which is definitely a real thing

Inherited come on You got to get out of that therapist, man. Inherited fucking trauma so funny. I guess epigenetic, isn't that what people say that it's like in your genes? There's something bad happened in your grandpa. How long ago though? That's what it's, yeah.

You can definitely, definitely trauma affects you in the way like, if shit fucks somebody up, they're gonna raise you fucked up. Or some people make the argument that it's literally in like your DNA, if like your grandpa gets slapped, you're like, yes, a baby, you're like, my cheek hurts. I definitely think it's like, I think every problem can be just traced back to man go to war,

and then they come back so messed up, and then they make awesome movies, and then they do cool art. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they kill themselves Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna Yeah, so your rant starts now. What my rant on what I'm more Red into the camera any of the camera. Yeah, listen up out there

You got to do it sometimes man. It just is what it is Yeah, and it's kind of pointless to try to stop it a little bit. Yeah, it's something we've always done We're good at it. Get the flick of your at it. Get the blicky. And just get strapped. Let's pop pop. Find somebody that looks, you know, different.

Not necessarily different. They could look the same if they sound different. OK. And then I guess see who kills each other first. We've got to stop with horror. Oh, Sarah's two for two. TikTok's bad. So is war. Get out. Get out. to stop with whore. Sarah's two for two TikToks bad so is war. Get out get out go ahead in the camera. What if they are? What if they are? What if it's a big

good? What if they are? Oh yeah. Crazy at this point. I'm not kidding. You think so? War is crazy. Do you think it's crazier now than it has been previously? Yeah, because it's like we did it so many times. Yeah. I didn't get to do it yet personally. It's kind of like, I don't know. It feels like me saying we shouldn't do war feels like me going to AA. I haven't earned that yet.

Right. I need to go to war first before I'm anti-war. Right, right, right, right, right. Kill a man with your bare hands, watch your friend die. Something like that. Or die. Be it ghost. I'm not with guns.

Seriously. She's on one foot. It might have taken a while to get her here else, but it was worth the wait with takes like this. There's a powerful message to get out there all along. Oh, what do you think about diseases? Yeah. We got to stop having them.

I mean, it's insane. I do think I go, I go this, I go this. Yeah, I go this. We really, we haven't cured cancer. I don't think that's crazy. Yeah, I do. We haven't figured that out. I know, that is kind of fucked up. Just, stupid question.

Go ahead. This cancer really kill you? Or is it like, no, that's a question. Now we're talking. Now we're getting into it. That's gonna age well. Now we're getting into it. And my thing is, yeah, I think it does.

But is it an always like cancer called, called cancer? Yeah, I think it does. But is it always like cancer causes something that causes heart failure? It's into the age. You know what I'm saying? It's maybe getting into the language of it. Cancer does actually for sure kill you.

Yeah, maybe it's just a circle to say otherwise. It is always your heart kills you or something. I don't know, but you know what I'm saying. Now we're just picking nits. I'd love to get back to this chiropractor though that we kind of went on a 40 minute digression on it. Oh, wait, so I've been to a chiropractor before. Yep.

And while it's happening, you're like, this can't be right, this can't be right. And that's another thing I'd like to talk about. How it's bullshit. How it, it's... But what you said while it's happening, what about afterwards? Is there any moment where it feels different? Or you should mean it feels different but wrong? It feels like something, someone is realigning your bones, that's medieval,

it's medieval, it's medieval, Well I do think there's something, I do think ghosts are involved in like the fundamental understanding of chiropractor. Whoa, wait go on. I don't, that's all I know. You think there's a ghost in between the bones? I don't know, look at a chiropractor. Whoa. Wait, go on. That's all I know. You think there's a ghost in between the bones? I don't know, look at that. Look at chiropractor's ghosts.

Well, that is, like, when you crack your back and you've been to war and you have like a flashback because you've uncracked something from your spine. Yeah. That is ghost territory. Coming out. Yeah, or like, if you do too much acid and it gets stored in your spine

and then you crack your back too hard. You get high. Life hack. What's for people say, but I don't believe that. Save money on acid. Yeah. 30 years from now you'll get high. Yeah.

Now, Sarah, do you think part of it is like how many people do you think have touched you like in your entire life? Hmm. Physically. You know what I mean? It's like, like I mean literally how many people have touched you and longer than like hugs, let's take hugs out. Not that many.

Not that many. Do you think it just feels weird to be touched in a prolonged way by somebody? It's a violent kind of touch though. Yeah, which is even worse. So it's not like, listen. I don't like getting knocked around like that. Sure, sure, sure.

I almost feel like you're good. Like you don't need therapy. You're the healthiest person I may be no physically, I think actually 100% verified. So you don't need to be, you go to the doctor and shit. She goes to the doctor. No!

You don't. I hate to say it. That's why you fucking bring me along man. You have perfect blood pressure. Your doctor said, can I, is this HIPAA? No, go get that. I'm not involved in the contract. You have the lowest,. You doctor said, can I, is this HIPAA? No, go get it. I'm all in the contract. You have the lowest, what's it called?

BMI? He goes, you're BMI couldn't be any lower. And I go, we'll take me out to dinner first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He said, he was doing my blood pressure and goes, oh my God, he gives the blood pressure of an athlete. Wow.

And the dentist told me that I have a concerningly high blood pressure. The dentist said, they even take your blood pressure. You know what? He could just feel it in your mouth. I went to the dentist, they didn't clean my teeth, they didn't do anything. And I hadn't been to the dentist in eight years.

And I went in for the first time. They took your blood pressure. And my blood pressure didn't do a cleaning. Nothing to send me out. Just like, all right, well, what, I've heart disease and no help. And I didn't get, so I still haven't had my teeth cleaned in eight years. That's dude, it's gonna hurt when you get them cleaned.

That's her. That first cleaning back really, really. You know what, they did just pick at it. They like examine them. And that hurt a bit, but they said, they wouldn't believe me if I'd said it was eight years because they're doing all right. That's good.

No cavity. Did you see, I didn't brush my teeth for maybe five years. No, wait a minute. And I, it's pretty sad. I don't know. I'm just like crumbling in your inside your head. They're not crumbling. The fake ones crumbling.

Right, right, right. That's not even me. Anyway, I'm back. I've been brushing for the last. Oh man. How old am I now? I don't feel like it. From 25 to 30, I did not brush my teeth.

No, shit. No one was, people were kissing your mouth. Oh, yeah. People were kissing. Did anybody ever tell you that your breath smelled bad because not real? No, I never. I wonder if your pH was just like self-regulate. I think something like that. You just didn't feel like it. I did not feel like it. I never brought my mom like you know how an overworked parent will pick her battles. Yeah. My mom picked, she was like look. an overworked parent will pick her battles. My mom picked, she was like, look, I'm telling them to do it every night,

if they do it, whatever. You know what, so I very sparingly, as a child, that was maybe like every three days I'd give them a brush, kind of kid. That's good as a kid. And then, you live such a feral, I lived here, it felt like, you know what I mean? You live such a feral lifestyle.

When I was on the road, I never brushed my teeth until this, until the last tour. And none of your girlfriends were ever like, yo, wow, I guess it just must be a self-regulating mouth. I think so, I think so. My problem was I brushed too hard because I'm a tightly wound person and so I brushed too hard. You fuck your gums up?

I'm not yet exactly. Fuck your gums. So, my first cleaning back after not, like brushing my teeth at all, was some of the most excruciating pain in my life. My gums were inflamed. No. I caught it where I was like,

oh god, if I had gone another six months, I would have been fucked. I had to get like, I had to get like heavy duty teeth cleaning where they're like, they clean my shit and I literally spit out like the most crimson you've ever seen in your life just from gums. Like every time she touched it with a little scraper, like gushing blood, you know. I've had a ton of mouth stuff done since then, cleaned up all the cavities, all this shit. No, no, no, no, you, you're brushing now I'm brush. I got the electric shit. I'm flossing to brother And you just came up to therapy as well Okay, I said actually the most calm I ever feel in my entire life is one of them in the dentist chair

And my therapist said is that because there's drills in your head and you actually have to surrender control for one minute Every life and I go absolutely so yeah Guess he's fucking bullshit, right? I mean, that's one of the most obvious Again, everything he's told you is either something we could have told you or complete dog shit and like Complete kind of yeah, and it doesn't matter. It's more of like a interesting Conversation You don't think it's important for me to know that I have the Interesting relationship with the archetype of control. You don't think that's that I need to know about you

You don't need to spend however the fuck much and go to time Money and you could ever possibly imagine go to get a regular ass therapist who's telling you regular shit Literally that would be better for you than what you're doing right Yeah, I'm not even kidding. He hasn't there, you have like real therapist bodies it. I go so quite simply AI style. This is a problem I have with my life. That's how it should be. What should I take to not have the problem?

That's exactly how it should be. Not like find out that you like to go to the dentist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a simple way to say what I, the meaning of eyelashes are is a symbol That's not what you're gonna Or gone with a problem and they have That's the whole fucking point. It's a doctor. It's not like a conversation you pay for

So what yeah, that's the thing I'm trying to figure out what your problem is that you The problem I Just find off of my head. What's the opposite of a therapist? Someone to talk shit at you, who doesn't, oh yeah, who's here, who's here. Oh, somebody eroded you. It gives you money to talk shit about you.

I had that, I had a, I had a con for a fuck, what's it called? He did, I'm, wait, are you serious? Like a real thing. My old therapist. Oh, right, combative or whatever. It was called, it's not called, it's not called, combative, it's not called, it's, it's, um, exposure therapy. And, and, and, you were, didn't you get an article written about you last time

for something like this? Yeah. And is that all right to do again? We know. The last time I went on a podcast, I said something that he said in therapy and then Page Six wrote an article about it. That's a little bit.

Look that up, eldest. Look up Sarah Sherman, Sarah B Page Six. Dang it, wait a minute. My whole fucking thing that she told me was don't bring this type of thing up. Look. Oh, I'm waiting Page Six. It was under name and weekly. Wait, my whole fucking thing that she told me was don't bring this type of thing up Service quit after sending her crazy break out break out

Well, that was on SNL that was August All right, that's good. Hey, that's a funny joke by the way What have you say a funny joke on a podcast? He fired me quit after sending her crazy conspiracy paintings. So this was your last therapist. I see. Hell yeah. So you're, we need to. What do you say I'm batting at 100,000 batting at 100,000?

Yeah, I'm batting at 100,000. I'm batting at 1000. Sarah Sherman's former therapist is listening. She would like you to know that you walked out on the best mind pussy of your life. See, that's a good job, Tom. No, that's interesting. They're burning your material.

No, I said something funny on a podcast. Oh, you brand it. And then after I said it, I was like, well, I should say that on stage. But if you're already saying it on a podcast, you can't say that. You can say it again, Sherwood. Yeah.

You can work it as a bit. I've been running a bit in eight years. Yeah, that's fun crap And if you're watching you're out there with fucking bad money, dude You're out there fucking shit doing shit with Adam driver. He's a baby That was a good sketch What so is he keeps he keeps up you know What so is he keeps he keeps up you know you don't hear from him for long He's keeping up. I'm a pro. Yeah, what's what was Adam driver like was he cool?

You can see the military train. Oh, yeah, cuz he was the Marine you have to respect like he was talking about Osama He was like we're gonna get that motherfucker back Yeah, he was a he was a he was a 9-11 marine But I respect you know what which I do get for real if you're ever gonna be patriotic it's like let's fucking go That was the time like that's the time to do it when George first through that fucking fastball What would it take for you right now? Yeah to join if somebody like lit the fucking Pentagon on fire and maybe I think it would have to like something with your mom like the government would have to come Yeah, I think it's I'm past that point at this point. You'd have to be now with the country What could they do this worse than 9-11 like yeah, what could they do? Let's think about let's think about this for them. Let's play it another 9-11 for them

I mean at this point. I'm not doing shit, dude. I'm over, I'm done. But in my 20s, it's a young man, as a young man kind of looking for a meaning. I think someone could get me to do it. I just don't want to, I'm too, basically too lazy. Like if somebody came to me and was like, listen, we got all taken care of,

get out right now and you're gonna have like a sick ass fucking gun in an airplane. You're on the back of the like, the like, you got the turret and they're driving the fucking like, yeah, four wheelers. You like to do fucking? Yeah. No, I think you're right. It would have to be my like, it would have to be like almost tribal where it's like,

defend my family. I would have to like- Here's the thing though, and this sounds like I'm kind of, I'm taking a, sorry, I'm distracted because there's like ads on the team. Right, right, I'll just come on, get out of this man. I, we, okay, we did, this is gonna sound like I'm taking a left turn. We did shows in Arizona and people were packing at the show. Got you up. They had the heater on them.

You can see it, how many people? Yeah, they're going, he was like 12 people in my showroom. Yeah, no, I didn't mean that. I mean, I would've been like a gun. I literally asked. I asked on stage, I was like, because there was like a joke where I need to find out how much it costs to my show.

So I go, how much did you pay to be here? And people are going like, I go, how much do you, and I'm asking the crowd, I'm like, how much did you pay to be here? And then someone goes, like, we all want a raffle to be at the show. Oh my God. They get us brutal.

I get to play it. Oh, we fucked that stuff. That's tough. Where were you, House of Comedy? What was it called? Phoenix, what was it? House of C- and kind of in the burbs. I think it, maybe was their second,

there's like two locations of this place. Okay. Stand up live. Stand up live. Literally awesome show. I do like stand up live. But there was like a, oh, it was a bad joke. I was like, you guys have open carry here.

Open carry. What about open Miranda, open Samantha? That's good. That's good. I like that. Not laughing. They actually had guns and so they're not going to. Or they're not sex in the same fans.

Well, I don't think the van diagram between guns and sex in the same. So then, that is true. But it was crazy. How many gay guys have guns do you think? I don't really think that many. Probably not, which is a shame. I don't think that many. I guess they would kill each other over some, you know,

who's like, foundation looked better. Yeah. Who's like, if you accuse someone of not serving, they might fucking... That's lame. That's lame. You know people with guns, you know people with guns? Yeah.

Here's the thing, because we do as well. Mm-hmm. And I'm listening, I'm not gonna say their names on the podcast. Mm-hmm. Is it the pedophiles from the beginning of the podcast? Is that how they got, is that how they fuck the kids? Yeah, they fuck the girls.

And you wake up every single morning, you put a gun in your pocket or whatever? Not necessarily. You literally, but that is like when people are packing like that, it's like you just wake up every day ready to kill someone, literally. I think they usually keep them in their house. I think most people I know don't like walk around with them.

But the people at the Arizona show were strapped. They were happy about it, but that's okay. But they wake up in the morning and they put the gun on and they like, they literally, when you do that, you're like, I'm ready to kill somebody. There's probably, there's definitely a nice percentage of those motherfuckers that are hoping like, a rowdy teen fucking gets in their face. There's definitely a nice percentage of those motherfuckers that are hoping like

Routy teen fucking gets to their face if I was on my deathbed and I fucking loved guns And I had one my whole life and I never fucking ever got to use on somebody. There's a I'm not saying I would do this And I don't condone it either however, there's a chance that that nurse is gonna get it Whoever's right in front of me how about about this, you wheel, you wheel, you're like my last, here's my last wish, wheel me out. Let me give me a hand. As a high school is letting out, as an urban high school is letting out, okay. I'm gonna have, I'm gonna have like,

well I don't wanna say Jordans again, cause I feel like I made a racist joke using Jordans already, but I'm gonna have, you know, I'm gonna have like, maybe some Rolexes and it's gonna be falling off. You're just basically gonna be like a sitting duck for like, shit children like, like teenagers, Fortnite packs.

You're covered in Fortnite skins and like, you know, and you're like, oh no, I hope I've been left alone. I hope nobody takes my fortnight skins and then first fucking kid they tries to grab it that's what I'm saying they want like people to like come up on them so they can use it that's what I mean if you're I wouldn't kill the nurse I would try and kill some you know right well I guess I wouldn't do fortnight skins maybe let's let's trap maybe a pedophile you let's trap, maybe a pedophile.

You want a bad one? Maybe a pedophile. Right. Oh, I have this sexy baby in my lap, and I'm too old to fuck it. There's anybody want to take. I hope nobody takes it from me though. Here's a reverse idea, I guess, that essentially,

the idea is like, why not let somebody else do it and be charitable with your death? Yeah, I need to be somebody else kills you. Yeah, like, oh, you know what, I'm gonna die anyways. I'm gonna let somebody get the free kill. Or how about this, you do a duel with another old guy like you. Yeah, and then televised it.

Best man wins. Trademark. Got this out. Love that. Show pitch. Strike over. Yeah, I'm gonna get talking about it. So the show's called the, what's it called?

It's called the hospice showdown or something like that. Yeah, it's something like that. Last man standing. So the hospice match. What's the hospice match? What's the hospice match? Hospice. Dealer Nurt deal hospice edition.

And we kind of branded with the dealer Nurt deal. We get how he man they'll involved. As he died, you open up briefcases like you either have a gun or you don't That's a good way for war to go down Everyone picks up briefcase. Yeah, and then if both of them have guns that's a duel But if only one has a gun it's a cha it's a pop what it is. Yeah, no, you just execute them to execution That's a good mr. Beast idea For when he starts running low, or... And look, it doesn't have to be...

I'm just saying it would be great to get how we involved. I just think, you know, he seems like a great guy. He's on TikTok. He's on the top. Oh, yeah. Big time. We should get to these questions. Are you talking about our death row meals? Did we? Do you remember the cell? Death row meals? What's yours? Go ahead.

Well, because I can't do dairy I can go out with a bacon cheeseburger So you would show yourself in the electric chair bacon cheeseburger fries fries on your rings Dr. Pepper Maybe a chocolate malt Maltes sick black and white white cookie, rainbow cookie. Jewish. Jewish.

Period. Throw a lock in there, throw cheese blends in there, period. Your turn, go. Pickle. I'd also put a pickle in it, go. That's not that much dairy for never being able to eat dairy in your whole life. Yeah, maybe.

Do you say milkshake? I guess the malt. I guess the malt. Okay, malt, that's powder. I guess there's no. So I should get it. I'll do. Go, go.

Go, go. Go, go. Last meal ever, I would have to request, these are discontinued, but the pizza hut wings from back in the day before they went to Wing Street. Wait, were they fried? Yeah. They were, because now they're baked and they sonn dick. Yeah, they used to be so good. Damn, but I don't know also maybe.

Respect the wing from your youth. I think you were just a kid, because I've been to Buffalo Wild Bings recently, being like, damn, I love Bdub-dub. I spent a lot of my high school time there watching the UFC with your youth. I think you were just a kid because I've been to Buffalo Wild Bings recently being like, damn, I love Bdubdub. I spent a lot of my high school time there watching the UFC with my brothers. And, which is really what we did a lot. And, just not as good. Not as good as you remember them. I mean, it's got to depend on the people. It could be Bidenflation because the quality of the chicken seemed right in the soft shortish. There was a couple years ago, I think we're back. Yeah.

Because Wingstop was selling thighs. Now you know, she's back. Yeah, that's scary. They made a whole commercial. They tried to get away with it, but anyway, sorry to cut you off. Wing Street, before Wing Street, wings. Yeah, Wing Street, wings.

I mean, you listed so much food. Yeah, go crazy. Yeah, but don't go that, because there's a meal. That's a meal. What you said is crazy. Yeah, but don't go that cuz there's a meal I guess yeah, wing street wings maybe Is meaningful to me My last meal that's crazy. Oh interesting That's a lunch that's like a fucking consultants lunch. No Chicken cheese a wrap we went from a slice shop. We were doing I don't know

But it hasn't been about you because covered in cheese We were doing shows in DC and he's from DC and he was like bro I gotta take you to this place. Wait, where is this place? I know DC on the hellish Waterfront like with ice rink is that piece of that slice shop. On the hellish waterfront, like with ice-cream gizz, that piece of that slice shop. Okay. They should do wraps, but they're gone now. I can't, I can't coast on this, that's crazy.

You didn't go, it's been every day. Is the Georgetown waterfront? No, that's not a good answer, man, I'm sorry. Well, you might just not be a food guy though. It doesn't seem like, it's not something that really like speaks to you. I don't't I guess I can't say that I am What are your vices like are you a booze guy? No, it's candy. It's candy. Yeah candy That's you know the metal rods with the candy bags on it at 7 11

Yes, he made that in this house. That's cool. No, I didn't My house is nothing but that's actually fucking punching bag And all my black glasses that I got nothing else and a bunch of suits right punching bag a picture of the profit Muhammad that you're daring someone to have a problem with oh Yeah, I was gonna have no thing and it wasn't what they say All right, let's get it. Let's do some fucking questions I've answered this before I think I would go a full Korean barbecue spread I don't want to get into it though. All right, let's do some fucking questions. I've answered this before.

I think I would go a full Korean barbecue spread. Oh, fuck. Grill it myself, get that fuck in the most expensive beef in the world. Oh, grill that fucker up, have some dumplings, have a seafood pancake. Yeah, that's interesting. And it's really, it's also an event, you know,

you're from. There's people there. I think so. I just mean like, it's the kind of meal that's an event. Did it allow that? I don't know. For that to go somewhere, for people there. I think so. I just mean like, it's the kind of meal that's an event. Did it allow that? I don't know. For that to go somewhere, for your life. For you to chill with friends.

No, but I could, I mean, just grilling it. I do it myself, you know what I mean? Like, I'm doing something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so that you don't think, yeah. I've read that the last meals are like barely honored by persons anymore. Like, you tell them what you want.

They're like, yeah, if it's easy to get, we can get it, we can do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're kidding me. I mean, it makes sense. Why the fuck? You fucking mass murdered 12 kids. It's like, all right, man, we're gonna get you

exactly the type of stuffed crust pizza you like. I also like, You need to know more dignity in this life. I actually really got it. Well, I also read, there's like this one guy who like just, just asked for like the most elaborate, like 12 course crazy ass shit like last meal the prison got it And then he refused to eat it respect He like went out without eating it and I think that like it's probably shit like that that the prisons are like I

The other people get free food though. That's kind of like a solid. Yeah, oh You went out hard. Whenever fucking, fucking, fucking guys. That's a very good point, guest of mine. You know what else is very good? The NFL playoffs. That's right, it's NFL playoff time, folks. One of the best times of year. And there's no better way to spend the playoffs

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and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming sources. I'm straight. Play us some fucking questions. Oh, the best is the transcription. Hey, stop and Elvis. Yeah, the best thing is something that listeners have no idea about. Just go on, Elvis. Hey, stop, baby.

How's it going? This is Jeremy from Brooklyn. What about Elvis? Hello to the guest. One of the European non-something. So, the background is, One of the oldest, hello to the guest, one of the European non-something. So the background is, I'm 38, I'm getting into dating for the first time in a while, quite a while. And I have had terrible teeth in my whole life, badging at it, you know, no dentist visit, and I was

a bit... Uh, so about earlier this year, I ended up having most of the folds and getting dental teeth. So I wear dentures now, and I like them. I'm happy with how they look. You know what I use? And I like them. I'm happy with how they look. Nobody's asked if they're real or told me do look fake or anything like that. My question is how do I tell bills that might keep out real. I mean do I put it in my profile or do I tell them like the first date or later

on. I really don't know when to approach the subject and I think You know some girls might be girls to help on it So I really like to know when to tell Or get yours I do think we are plagued as a culture by perfect teeth I think it's distracting and bizarre, the way teeth look now at all. And I think I want to honor this person's feelings about your feelings are valid, your beautiful.

If you feel like your teeth are fucked up, you don't want to show them, whatever, that's on you. But nobody really cares about perfect teeth. I really think that people have my free doubt about them. I know what you mean, but I mean, he's dealing with a definition. I don't think it's like, I got veneers or whatever. It's like, hey, my teeth come out of my fucking head.

And what are girls gonna think of this? My as a rule, here's what I think. You're basically talking about exposing your whole to the naked hole to them, right? By taking a hole. Yeah, the way. So it comes up the same time you would expose, she would show you her pussy, you would show your ass like it's only fair.

This is whole o'clock, right? Yeah, right. Whole conversation, you don't put that on the profile. No. You don't say I have a weird dick in your profile, right? So I think this is an intimate thing. Taking your dentist out as a pretty intimate act, you usually just have your teeth most of you at the time.

I think you could be like, you know, I think it's like, it's kind of, it's on you, it's really on you to when you want to decide, but you don't have to say it in the pro You don't have to like don't let this let them get to know you first. It's hard enough to get to make a connection with somebody You don't have to put in your profile like hey, I have dentures like if you had um, I Don't know. It's like a medical thing. Yeah, yeah exactly fake line down when you find it right fun though It's my way funer than that. There is I will give him this, there's a stigma with dentures.

Right. Because it's also like an iron, like old, like it's not like other, it's not like other prosthetics, where it's like you could almost like make a joke of it, or you could also like cash in some sympathy. Like if somebody, if you like lost your leg in like, you know, in any way, right, even as a kid with a little, you like this guy's example, right?

He's basically lost his teeth because his fucking parents were poor. They never took him to the dentist. He didn't have the beautiful self-cleaning mechanism that I did. You know, right. But if the same thing happened where it's like, hey, my parents were too poor and I got a disease and my fucking leg fell off. And but now I have a cool metal leg. People will be like, that's fucking cool, right?

It's endearing, it doesn't really change shit. But if you just like, you know, you're doing Sarah's grandma's jump scares with the teeth out. That can be endearing in a sense too. I'm not even doing this shit. It can't be eating. That's really the big issue is you have to take it out to eat.

No you don't. No, it depends what kind there. I didn't know this, but my dad is missing his fucking front tooth. You didn't know that. I found that out when he was 72. Get the fuck out of him. And he's been missing it the whole time.

Never had it. That's awesome. And it's fucking sick, by the way, talking about favorite things about him. Yeah, he takes it out and he just, he usually doesn't have it in. He usually just hangs out on a notice. I just, he surely was hiding it from me or something

or he had a good one that like he didn't have to pop out all the time. But now he keeps it out. Now he keeps it out a lot of the time and I love it. I think Keith are loaded. I think it's like because I think he's feeling a certain type of way about them because there's so much emotional baggage with what has happened to his teeth. Well it also makes you look, it makes you look older if you take your teeth out, right? Just like, speaking of TikTok, your favorite platform. There's like that lady,

and you see that lady that's just like looks, she honest, she looks fucked up because she has like, weird skin and her teeth come out and she's like, and then she like, fucking beats her face up real good, yeah, her. She beats her face up nice. Now she makes herself look bad on purpose to like so that the glow up looks better.

Of course. But there is something to the like, so I get it. Like that's how she looks with her dentures in and her fucking okay. I know where you're at. I think you can tell. Like if you go on a date with something they could probably tell you who have dentures in

and they can see. I don't think so. Really? Like even that's kind of funny. Wow. I think that you can, I think there's a way to casually and like. Change the shape of your face too. By the way, there's an option we're not talking about which is you can be happy alone. A billion percent.

And when you learn to live alone, that's when you truly... Oh, you mean like, I'll be peaceful. Don't be so. Do you mean give up getting pussy? Yeah, maybe you're a glory holster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can figure it out.

Not that I say that word, but you can go to a glory holster. And then you don't have to worry about the teeth. It's like if people, yeah, I don't know. I think that the dancers are no big deal. It's totally for sure. Yeah. And here's the other thing.

You will also, at some point, you're going to tell somebody, you're going to have to tell somebody. And they might react weird, but guess what? That's not for you. There are definitely people out there that find it in the same way that we automatically think like it's like you're the peg leg can be funny or endearing or whatever. It's like people, you'll find people who will find, won't have any issue with it whatsoever.

People have fucked up, you're 38, bro. In your late 30s going into your fours, everyone gets some weird help. If you have to, yeah. Yeah, you're gonna have to that 38, like you're gonna have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just think like, don't put in your, I would say get to know the person first.

You don't even have to like, it's not like you sprung anything on them. I guess it's kind of like similar rules to, I'm about to say herpes, where it's like tell somebody before you fuck them, but honestly, the only reason that's the rule with herpes is because you can give it to them potentially. It's a good thing.

You can't give someone no teeth. No, you can't. You can knock them out. You could, yeah. I guess you could't wait. You could knock him out. Yeah You like you want to make fun of me for my Another option that's another option There's a way also to tell people things that you're doing it so like I don't want to have like you know, I'm saying like the style you're like hey, I wasn't like

Yeah, check this out. Ah, okay. I don't know that he has that in him though. Right, if he's coming through with this behavior. Yeah, yeah. Be comfortable. So yeah, I do think get love yourself because the other thing is, my back hurts, I gotta go the count.

Yeah, the other thing is he's getting into it and for the first time in a while, which feels like divorced to me. He didn't say it. Or maybe he's coming out of, trying to be, coming out of some in-sell hood. So there's an overall, believe in yourself a little more before you're out there kind of thing. But I think you're totally good, dude.

If they don't look fake, it's a health condition. It's like you don't really owe it to anybody. You're not fucking them, you know, like, if, like, if maybe if it gets a little above casual, break it down or pop it in, but it's whatever you feel like. I found out my boyfriend has a amazing fake laugh like eight years into our relationship.

And that you hate it? Well, I just found out he's an amazing fake laugher way too late. So if you'd known that right off the bat, you might not have gone with him. I could have been more suspicious this whole time. Right. Right. Feels different. I think you're fine, brother. I think it's like, it's, I would say the thing is, you tell them when the guilt of, when you feel like you want to just share with them. Like, I don't think you really owe anybody anything. Oh, you know, you can measure when, as you're getting to know them,

are they going to have a good reaction to this or is this person gonna fuck me up and send me back to whatever? I really think it's when you're comfortable. I know that's kind of a cop out of advice, but it's like, let me, we're gonna absolve you of feeling like guilt like you're hiding something.

You're not, who gives a fuck? He is, but. But it's not, I'm just saying. It's not enough, it's not, you know what I mean? It's not, it's nobody's business until they mean something to you enough to that it is their business. You know what I'm saying, buddy? And they're gonna have business too,

by the way, for you, so just, you know. Yeah, oh, you have a kid? How about you? Yeah, man. And they go, oh yeah, there's nothing about that. We're even bitch. I have to be a trade off. I bet you, I swear to swear to God I bet you there you'll meet somebody who also has dentures That would be a fun love story. Dantier dating

Dantier's dating a it's like I'm updating a fucking bitch with It's like incess like mouth shape incess Mouth all right good luck brother hit us with another question big LD Alright, good luck brother, hit us with another question, Big Eldie. I love the plug. It's got a quick question for you. There's this girl I've been seeing for maybe a month or two now. I really like her, she's great, but there's this thing that's been happening right. When we watch movies, she'll talk about all the normal, how attractive she finds the guys

like the celebrity's like, oh, he's so hot. I think he he's got to be in this other film is later film is like okay you know that's fine you have your celebrity crush whatever but we're watching this anime film and the whole time she's like talking about this animation ready cartoon character I love oh he's daddy this guy's dad be right oh my god said, she asked me to recite one of the guys lines from the righty anime. So she can let out her anime fun to see. I've been there, of course, I've got some big news here. I've had a little bit of a living all that weird. But I might have just approved. I don't know. Also, I get that it's going to be attracted

to other people, right? Like, of course that happens, but why I've always done it is in relationships, I'm not going on talking about that early so hot looking or a bit to look at her ass. That seems disrespectful to me at least. Or I just mean insecure, you know. I mean I guess it right, like it can be attracted to other people and we're not like exclusive yet or anything like that, so I try. But I just think it's a bit disrespectful, especially because like 98% of the time she's swimming over someone is not me, she's like talking about all these things and even the other and the main character has been maybe 2 percent of the time she comes out? I'm watching an animation.

It's just things a bit weird to me. By the night. Are there British animation? We're watching the freshest animation. She's a animation. I don't know if there are British people in anime. Hmm, interesting. I mean, asking to recite a line from it is where I'm like,

presumably, while fucking fucking I would guess. He finds her disrespectful in general. Yeah, and I will say, this gets to a point where it's like, look, you say somebody's hot, who cares, right? You say a famous person's hot, who cares? But if you say every fucking time you see a guy, damn, that guy's awesome.

And then you almost like, she like sighs and starts sucking you off. She's like, damn, that guy's so hot. And then she's like, oh well, back to work. You know what I mean? Like that's, you don't want to feel that vibe. Do you want to be like back to a 3D guy? Yeah. At least a cartoon.

It's not somebody who could actually steal your girl. You know what I'm saying? That's true. Unless there is some weird circumstance, I can't imagine being real where you get animated. They get sapted into and get to learn a lesson. I find when people do that, it's like them just like wanting to remind you

that they're sexual. Like when someone's like, you know, if you're watching a movie with someone and they're like that person so hot, they're just wanting to remind you that they're. Interesting. What they want you to think of them in a sexy zone that they're interesting. They want you thinking of them in sexy zone or something.

Interesting, interesting. Can you do that comedically? Like if I was like, yeah, this is gonna sound crazy, but can you just fucking like, try and think of a good one? Can you just act like Sarah Silverman for like 10 fuckers? Just like if I'm on the pod with her. Just so that you know like when I'm on,

like if Sarah Silverman was here, even though I'm telling you like that, we'd get my fucking joke machine cooking. Yeah. Right, like you think like she's just trying to be like, how would you do it? You're doing riff role play. Yeah.

You're being like, what about that? Sarah Silverman, you fucking dog. Yeah. Wouldn't you feel, I mean, wouldn't you feel a little bit devaluated or whatever the word would be? I see, I see, I see. You're saying, okay, oh, oh, oh, oh. Like, platonic roll, rhetorical roll. Basically, yes.

He's talking about real role play here. And I think like, I think like, and they're not even dated, like, if you're in a long-term relationship, I think opens it up a little bit to be more open about who you're like, damn, that bitch is awesome. See, like, your girlfriend's like, you can have that conversation. And then you can even, it opens up like,

role play a little more because it's like, hey, we've been together for a while. Let's try some. Like, yeah, I'll fuck it. Because I'm not trying to recite any lines, but if a girl I was dating dressed dumb like an anime character, I think I would be into that. And I'm more of a visual guy, you know what I mean?

It's like, there difference between men and women essentially is like you wanna be talk to in a certain way versus like, yeah, I just want somebody who has dumb pink hair in like, you know, two fucking little space buns or some shit. She got a big ass sword like the lady from the cartoon we're watching, right? Like I would like to fuck a big titted Japanese anime girl for sure.

I see a sword and I'm like I wore a clown is my only clown clothing in honor of you. Yeah, wow I don't know I don't know the thing problem here is, this is like a sexualized clown. You're sort of like a sexless clown. You're all the generals got sanded off in Sohnshed. Yeah. But this is... He's also referring to, he doesn't like how she's sexualizing everything and talking about. He finds her just like disrespectful and inelegant.

I do think so. And maybe the part of that is like, we're assuming this guy is like, you know, we're assuming this guy is like, just getting back from a fox hunt because he's had that British accent. I just had to look careful the way she talks about the content.

You think he should be having amazing sex because he's coming from a hard day's work is what you're saying. I think yeah, he's probably coming from a hard day's work. He deserves some fucking need this right now. He deserves some push, he doesn't need to hear about how cute Jason Mamoah is what you said. I think yeah, he's probably coming from a hard days where he deserves some fucking need this right now. He deserves some push. He doesn't need to hear about how cute Jason Mamoah is, you know?

Literally. So, I guess it's like insecure, he's in, it's being, is it own insecurities reflected back in him? He's, don't get me wrong. You can, if somebody you're with makes a couple passing comments about somebody being attractive and it bothers you That's insecure if it's constant and she's asking you to repeat lines from a thing She wants to fuck a cartoon character and you're not even dating that long. It is weird behavior

Red pill for a second I feel Does that a lot like it's almost like she's like testing your reaction or something It's very constant because I feel like a guy can't do that but a girl can and if you get pissed at that as a guy Or get annoyed you just like kind of look like a bitch, you know Let's accept we're thinking how would you suggest he controls his bitch? I don't know, maybe she's not the one. Maybe she's just like a dumb bitch. I think so.

To be fair, that is what I think. We're come from different philosophies, we came to the same conclusion, where she does sound like kind of a dumb bitch and he does, you know, they're not, she might not even give a fuck about this guy too, right? This happens a lot where it's like, or we're not exclusive, we're just dating whatever.

She might just be in it for some of that fucking that little hoax. That little hoax over sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I will say, and please. This is gonna sound like, I'm president of the United States of America. Yeah, whoa.

Before, you know, jokingly me and my boyfriend were talking about who our hall passes were. Yep. And now that I'm on network television, I haven't met my hall passes. So it's like, Wait, I thought Paul Rubens died this year. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha But once the listen do I think my hall pass would ever

would touch through the 10 foot pole? Yeah, but it did become more of a real it became more real. Yeah, sure. And so. Oh definitely there is something to that. Yeah, and so I want like I'm guessing they exist in a world where hall passes are like entirely theoretical. And, but again, you're right, but again, they're not even dating, dating.

They're not even like boyfriend, girlfriend, nothing. They're hooking up, but I know, like, and even when you're talking about the theoretical hall pass, it's acceptable up until they bring it up constantly. Right. At that point, it's not even about them being a celebrity. It's like, well, do you want to even fuck me? You just keep talking about, like imagine if I was like,

if I was like, oh, let's go get lunch, and you're like, great, I'm so excited to take you to my favorite restaurant. And I just kept talking about other sandwiches that were better than the sandwich you brought me to. It would piss you off. That would piss me the fuck off. I'll piss me off, big time.

I'm gonna hear you're in a better right now. I'm gonna piss. I'm gonna hear you're in a better right now. It would piss you off that would piss me the fuck off It literally would piss me off Who's the one that you did meet not saying okay, let's go through let's go through with the guests this year It wasn't no he was in somebody's entourage. You're just hanging out. Yeah, okay, just stop Attention has been fucking you'll tell us off the air that's fine. Hey, don't listen, if your girl makes me her hall pass, that's a problem I'll probably fuck her. Don't make it me, brother, I'm telling you right now. That is not on me if you let her have me as a hall pass. The ends are open and you're pretty good.

If she catches me on the right night, that's pretty good. That's a, whatever they would call it, a fucking something else, Pat. I feel tripped by. Beautifully darned. Permission slip, that's a permit. They don't hall pass, that's a whatever they would call the fucking something else pack. I feel tripped by. Beautifully darn. Permission slip. That's a permit. They don't help us.

That's just a permission slip baby. There you go. Permission slip. There you go man. She's going on that ride. Actually less so. It really bothers me that I've actually worked too hard to get as much pussy as I'd like the last few months.

Sorry. Socks dude. Sorry. It's not Joe's or A's not. You're not filter feeding. I don't. You're going through the ocean with months. Sorry. Socks, dude. Sorry. It's not Joe's or a son. You're not filter feeding. You're going through the ocean with a mouth open. Catching scooping up pussy like I'm a whale eating krill. No, unfortunately not. We'll get back there folks.

We'll get back there. We're on the path back to less work. You're so, I mean, you're so famous at this point, no one can reach you. Like when you do a theater, you're in a green room that's like separate room. It is true, I'm not around, yep. Like, you know, I used to play bar shows where the green room was a curtain in a corner. Yeah.

And if you wanted to approach me, all you had to do was open the curtain. 100% yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But now you're entering building from the alleyway. It actually is bizarre. Yeah. There's like security. But which, you know, it's nice because you're more successful,

but you have started getting pussy. You have started getting pussy. I'm just saying. I can't do that. I just have like, I feel soft, I cannot charge people to shake their hands. That fucking sucks. Then I have to be, then I, that's like,

then I have to, I would rather do just straight up sex work than like friendship prostitution. I would rather do just straight up sex work than friendship prostitution. I would rather somebody pay to suck me off. Anyway. So, again, don't let your girl make me your all pass. If your teacher big enough, it's almost certain, yes. And even if they're not, it'd be perfect. And she's cool.

But- That's nice. Let's see here. It's true, it's true. I've, you know, I've definitely, I'm about all different types of titty sizes. Thank you, Anders. Next question. Hungry. Yeah, Bobby. Maybe we had an hour between this podcast and the last one I would add time to whip her some up. Oh, I hate that. I told them to come in 345 Because I knew what was gonna happen. I knew for sure was gonna happen. Go ahead Eldis

Watch her shoot like three times oh Five seven one I got a question for you. I called him before but I guess old Elby didn't like my My situation with a lady, but I got a new one though. Okay. I was taught into the girl. And then I ghosted her out of nowhere. I didn't really ghost her, but I started giving her short responses. It started trying to get her to find a slow ghost. And then she got mad at me and whatever.

And then after like a month. I was like damn Trying to hit that I hit it back up and I was like yo, I fucked up. Oh, he a polish like she put me back You feel me and then but the first time we hung out she's like I gotta know what happened And I lied and I was like damn, I was fucked up, I was on drugs. I was like cocaine, which I was doing. I was doing it. And now I'm still doing a lot of cocaine.

I can't do it around her. She's worried I'm gonna like do the things shit, obviously. That's awesome. So do I just tell her like, hey, I'm not going to lie, I was just a dickhead like it wasn't a drug or do I just break it off that I can keep doing drugs putting drugs is not an option I have respect hearing your prime cookies. I Fuck only right now right But if you can answer this like on the regular podcast not the patreon that be fired

not the patreon that be fired but if you got to answer all the patreon I guess I'm buying cocaine yeah you fucking prick you're buying eight balls so that like five bucks a fucking month yeah that's it alright I love you Stabby Baby keep doing what you're doing buddy thanks man can I take the floor please obviously stop doing cocaine oh boo

you have a fucking loser I think drugs fucking loser Oh Wow, what happened it cocaine all night to write the cone heads, huh? It's not good for you look, he's good for you love affection Care love energy, that is true. All right. It's easy, it's pot. And guess what? Oh, I have a new rant. Start the call. Go ahead.

Oh. Guess what's the worst drug on the planet? Alcohol actually. Drinking is poison. Yeah. She's saying it all weird, but it is her she did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that.

Sometimes I feel like alcohol is like going through my P tubes and it's poisoning it. You know, like you can feel it going through all of your tubes. P tubes, any other ones. But for the P tubes it goes through the body too. It burns a little bit. It's obviously poison. It is poison for sure. So who's going to be holding your hand at your deathbed? Cocaine or a woman? Obviously poison in his poison for sure

Well, I also think there's a couple things going on here. I think he basically has to make a choice Of what he likes and first of all rookie mistake that first of all let's just say let's go let's back up all the way Don't ghost people. It's rude. Oh, right. I will say that. I think that I bet you no judgment I bet you a lot of people who listen to your podcast or ghosters. Okay interesting. It's nice that's true. It's nicer than saying a molesters. Yeah. It's a step in the right direction.

I just have a feeling that's the vibe. That's like what the youth of America is doing right now. It is a that's what I'm saying It's a lesson you have to learn. We've all done it. I've said, like, I've been a dickhead to women because I was just a coward. I think most of being a dickhead to girls is being a coward who can't just admit, like,

hey, I had a pretty nice time with you, but I don't want to, I just don't see anything serious. I don't want to take the responsibility. You don't want to have that conversation exactly. So you're just like, ugh. And our friend here is definitely, you know, being a fucking dickhead. He's probably, I hope he's young.

He's finished 30s. This is really unacceptable behavior. I hope you're like a 20s. Yeah. Cause look, who hasn't been 20, you know, in their 20s doing way too many drugs and desperately clinging to the only girl that gave you any attention that whole year, right?

We've all been there. That's fucking, you're describing me being 25. Yeah. That's like, that's happened to me at 23 at 25. So basically, don't worry about it. You'll get to it when you're sure it's all figured out. Don't bother. No, we can fast track him here.

And so now you made it, now I don't condone ghosting, I don't condone, you know, going back just for head unless you really do think you, something could pop off with this girl. But I will say you did make a tactical error of lying. I think if you were done with cocaine, you're a genius because it's the truth, it's a nice alibi, and you're gone. You made a blunder, saying it was a thing you still love doing.

You should have said it was like, you know, I don't know, your ex, whatever, you know, you had a family issue, or just some, but if you're gonna lie, do something that's not gonna affect your life. Now you have to decide, do you need, as much of a Dorcasera is, Do it do something that's not gonna affect your life now you have to decide Do you need as much of a Dorcasera is? Do you really like could this accidentally improve your life did you stop up? There's the next guess? Oh my god, there are five minutes early

Five minutes early like gentlemen actually, you know, it's funny. They're the week before you in our schedule, so it's gonna be like. You know. Oh. Oh, nah. Oh, nah. Oh, nah. Oh, fuck. What the fuck was I saying? So yeah, you can decide is this like,

is this an error that you've made? Like by accident, you might be in a relationship and you might take down your cocaine use. Or, go ahead. You can also double triple down and say like, fuck. When I said that it was because of the cocaine, I was on cocaine. That's not gonna help us get you in into the situation twice.

Right, right. So that's the thing is, you kind of did unfortunately back yourself into a corner where you have to decide, pick between one or the other. I think he has a fucking bad fucking attitude by the way With no regard to respect for Bad attitude he's shown up late two hours late to stuff Big opportunities pointing out the stuff on the ground

And there's you guys wouldn't even believe how much crap there is on the ground. There's not that much crap. There's fucking food. There's little papers strewn about. There's a couple papers back there. There's a vanilla folder. Shut the fuck up. God knows what you guys need files for. This is a file.

All right, sorry we're not in your office. It's a bunch of fucking unicycles and fucking tied together different color hanker chiefs that you pull out of your fucking sleeve. Anyway. That's good enough. Yeah dude, look, you're a fucking dumbass. You're a young dickhead, you're mistreating women, you're doing too many drugs.

You have to decide by accident, am I gonna slow down? Because at some point, Sarah is right, you do need to stop doing this much cocaine Is this the time for you to stop doing it? I couldn't I don't know enough about your situation You get a couple years to party Go guys have bad fucking attitude. I'll tell you that The cocaine's weird right now with the fentanyl so you could find a different thing

Yeah, I kind of am with them actually. Like see, because I'm worried about your health. Sentinel, you'll die. Yes, I made a blanket statement to all my friends. No more cocaine. It's not worth it. For now. What if I got the strips? Use the strips.

This guy doesn't have strips. He doesn't, come on. If you get the strips. If the strip thing is had on. Maybe go, can you go with a different drug? I'm just kidding. Yeah, that's good. Can you go with a different drug? I'm just kidding. Yeah, that's good. Can you go with a different drug?

Can you keep both? If not, you're gonna have to choose this girl or cocaine. Don't you get me started with weed. And you put, oh, weed's worse than cocaine, dude? It's the worst drug known to man. That's so funny. It's fine. It's not great, but I like it.

Well, the hardest drugs known to man. Hardest? It's a. It's not great, but I like it the hardest drugs known to man hardest It's a hard drug Let's do one more. Let's do one more our I respect the time of our guests who are on time Hey, why don't we wrap up with one? We wrap up with one more quick fun question. I'll just don't get us anything bullshit This is also eldest is time to sign, to shine. Again, if the, we would have cast, you know. But the stuffy, beautiful, sexy, full of roles,

mother fucker, roles. You're beautiful too. This guy sounds trapped, by the way. Hello, Gaff. I heard you guys talking of the shit on the movie The Whale. You're beautiful to sound strap by the way Sounds fat is shit is crying watching the whale? He's a fucking idiot. He's a fucking idiot. So, no here it.

Here's the thing. If somebody found the ending of the whale moving, they're either fat as shit and a pussy, right? That's like, feel sorry for themselves. Or they're that weird type of person that thinks like being fat is worse than like, having AIDS. Like there's a type of person who hates fat people, but they pretend they like care about them. And they're like, it's so sad.

Like to them watching the whale was like watching like a slavery movie. They say that they see fat and this is like in a real oppression or whatever. So your friends are fucking either either he's fat as shit and look we've all been sad to be fat as shit. We've been there, right? But he's got to start believing in himself if he wants to lose weight, lose weight or if he just wants to dress better for his body and just have people treat him better

that's the thing. If your friends not fat and he's crying, I mean that's even more pathetic. I can't even imagine a skinny person crying with the fuck in. Darren Aronovsky, this is my pitched you, the movie The Shrimp, and I'm, I'm the star, and I'm so skinny. What? What?

Go ahead. Well, I'm just so skinny that I think. Oh, you're a little shrimp. I, well, I won't watch the whale because I'm too much of a zoom in and path. That would be so thick. And I love Aaron Opske. I mean, he's got some bangers, but God damn that movie was so mean.

I'll just watch it on the plane next to each other. And it was the most fun we've had all year. We, eldest is my producer and my, my fucking road manager. We see each other. He's seen me more than his wife this year. I've seen it more than any other person. We've had multiple beautiful times. We had no, there was no more fun two hours than watching the whale and like looking at each other and being like, are you sick?

All the problems were like, he would get mad and then he would just like, he candy bars and shit and he like dropped things and he was too fat to pick them up. That would that happened like eight times. And the end I don't want to spoil I mean whatever you're ever seen it. He floats up like he's about to die and he's just like what he goes into heaven. He fatly goes into heaven. He should sink. It was yeah.

He's sinking to hell. I mean he could sink into heaven if he wants. Yeah that's true. He shouldn't float if you yeah, yeah. He's sinking to hell. I mean, he could sink into heaven if he wants. Yeah, that's true. He shouldn't float if you're more heavy. That's true. Just speaking logically on movies. No.

I'm seeing that. Yeah, that's not at the end of the day. Yeah, yeah, he's so fatty like he just wants to die. And he like, sorry, just call you off. Go ahead. Well, of course you guys, there, you guys, the whole women's narratives to be.

So important that it's okay for me to cut you off. Yeah, yeah, all right Go ahead. It took me like 25 words to say that when I should have taken six right right which is why women shouldn't get to talk as much Go ahead Don't you think that possibly Brendan Frazier so good at acting that it doesn't matter. He was good He was good. He was good. It doesn't matter what the movie was about your His friend was just a pony ass play Moves by brain of readers before but the end is fucking so stupid and when he floats it was like sounds funny It was awesome. It was so funny because it's a very grounded in reality movies the kind of movie that I'd like

There was four people in it. It was a play. Oh, damn it made it. It was a covid movie, right? So it's so like it takes place in an apartment and on the porch. There's two settings. It's all that one place. It's all conversations. It's all so grounded in reality. And then the end is like, oh, he's so fat.

He goes to heaven. It was incredible. I mean, it was so funny. That's a good pitch. I don't want to see it until I know what the ending is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. I have cried at a bad movie, but the performance was so moving.

Oh, oh! You've cried at somebody saying, like, hey, how are you? You know what I'm saying? You cry a lot. What movie? Well, Matthew Perry died. All right. I was like, R.I.P.

When he was like, could I be wearing any more clothes? And you were like, oh, Chandler. Did I never seen friends before saw my house? What? So Jack and his girlfriend were at my house and I'm like let's fucking watch friends and see what all the fucking fun is about. And they were explaining to me about Ross and Rachel and I had that I watched an episode where I was seeing Ross and Rachel interacting and there was nothing but they're at

Performance and she was electric that I started something. Oh, yeah, that's insane. I was like, oh my god I'm like I get Ross and Rachel down Well, you have to go to a real therapist You have so many hilarious emotional issues that like it wouldn't be that hard for real therapist to make progress. It's like you know when the guy goes and he's like, hey, can I cut your lawn on Tik Tok and it's like all this overgrown weed and shit. It's like that's, they can make that place look better in a fucking day with one just getting a couple weeds out of there. That's your mind.

You say it's the best mind pussy, but it's fucked up. What is the best you cry in Vermont? Well, you went, we were doing a show in Burlington. We went to get some lunch. Great town. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, we're on a different thingy. And then you were crying at the idea that Bernie Sanders lived there

locked around for, genuinely, I think, 20 minutes. I couldn't talk to you. And here it goes. By the way. Good God. It's happening. We're going to get Sarah real therapist. Thanks for coming, guys.

I didn't say anything about him. And for my role. Yeah, that's where he fucking lived. He was the fucking mayor that he was a senator. He's not from there, that really. He's like rolling hills, and you can just picture him in a little rocking chair. And we couldn't have lunch because of senator. He's not friend there. He's like rolling hills and you can just pick jam and a little rocking chair. We couldn't have lunch because of this.

That's crazy. You need to go to stop going to your therapist, go to a real therapist. Join the army. Next year when you come back on for our yearly check-in with Sara, I hope you have fucking worked on yourself. Jack, please come back on time with a maybe a different person. Maybe we'll bring you back with the area. Yeah you guys are walking on the best podcast post-eat-early. Uh thank that's gonna do it. Watch Saturday Night Live, right? Did you want to plug that? Yeah what is this come out? Uh it's probably the second week of January, maybe January 8th, it looks like. Oh my god, tickets to move. Oh, I got my face. I hope you've come to my show and my amy-bottom.

Any more tickets in January or no? Back to work. Back to work. You know what? What? The listeners of this podcast should watch my sketches. I'm serious. With all these bad attitudes that they have calling in. I think they learned everything for too.

I agree. He's got stuff to plug. Yeah. Saturday night live. It's funny to sell. I don't work there. They keep saying no every year, but I act like I work there. That's what matters. Yeah. Show up to the parties and shout out to the boys. Well, I won't plug my own podcast. What's called joy tactics and it's got air great hill neighborhood. I'm looking not at the camera You don't have to yeah, listen to joy tactics and watch

Saturday night live and go to Miami a week ago See you next time. Oh, and watch fat rascals suppose guys really for guys seriously