Stavvy's World - #60 - Brandon Wardell and Patrick Doran

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

Brandon Wardell and Patrick Doran join the pod to discuss 4chan, being college dropouts, dental issues, nut milk, kitchen luxuries, Andy Dick, the precision of the algorithm, and much more. Brandon, Patrick and Stav help callers including a man who betrayed his music partner but still wants to use the name the guy came up with for his rap group, and a woman whose coworker is constantly goofing off in the office despite the fact that they are emergency care coordinators for HIV patients. Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/stavvyfree and use code STAVVYFREE for FREE breakfast for life from HelloFresh! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. Check out Brandon Wardell's podcast "The Brandon Jamel Show": https://www.patreon.com/thebrandonjamelshow Follow Brandon Wardell on social media: https://www.instagram.com/bswardell/ https://twitter.com/BRANDONWARDELL Check out Patrick Doran's podcast "Podcast About Lists": https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow Patrick Doran on social media: https://www.instagram.com/lunch_enjoyer https://twitter.com/lunch_enjoyer https://www.tiktok.com/@lunch_enjoyer1 Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stalvy's Rogue. We have an incredible episode for you. My old pal Brandon Waddell's here. Our pal Patrick Doran. I think that's how you say his name. I've never actually said his last name out loud, but he's a cute kid. Great episode. Before we do that, I want to let you know we're finishing up the Fat Rascal tour with the two tour dates that I couldn't make because of illness. Dallas, I had a bad case of psilocybin poisoning and Detroit and Grand Rapids. I had COVID-19. But those were doing those this weekend in Dallas, next weekend in Michigan.

Make sure to grab your tickets. And of course, get your Stavi Baby, Stavi Baby, official 2024 calendar. It's a beauty folks. We're selling those right now. And that's not all, okay? What I want you to do also is get ready to change up your whole meal habits, all right?

Get a new delicious way to have delicious meals brought right to your door that you cook, you get the satisfaction of cooking. Say hello to your most delicious year yet with fresh ingredients and chef crafted recipes at a price you'll like delivered right to your door. Go to hellofresh.com slash Stavifree and use code Stavifree for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box of subscription is active that's free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com slash Stavifree, S-T-A-V-V-Y-F-R-E-E with code Stavifree, the best deal in town folks.

Hey Elders, play that music again. Welcome everybody to Stavies World 904-800-STOP. Call in and solve all your problems. What a freaking show we have today folks. We've got Little Brain the Mordell and Tiny Little Patrick the Orange. I don't know about the adjectives. You guys are little guys. I'm not that little. You're a tiny little guy.

5'9". 5'9", baby. It's so awesome that I'm the happy average American male I have my brainwork because I swear you guys are shorter than me yeah in my head I'm just you're shorter than you're what five age yeah yeah but if I feel taller yeah mm you know I went I like eldest is six six JP six seven yeah I have a couple tall friends and I like I feel taller than you. I went, like, Eldis is 6'6", JP 6'7". I have a couple of tall friends, and Eldis in my head is two inches taller than me.

Like, that's in my head, that's how I feel. That's how I am with my roommate Alex. Alex is like 6'2", or some shit. And yeah, just never think about it. You have body dysmorphia. I have positive body dysmorphia. But like, positive body dysmorphia. I really do.

I really do. I really do. I think I look good. That's a good thing to have. Yeah. It's only when my body starts like physically shutting down like organs and shit where I'm like, I should probably get a little healthy. You just get the pain.

Yeah. I just like getting like random pains. My foot like I'm not going a long walk and my foot hurts from walking. I didn't run fast at all. I was going to like, like I was on the treadmill like 2.6 and I got off and I'm like, ah! I'm like, damn, I'm fat as shit. But I just look in that mirror, I'm like, damn, that guy's fucking cute. I saw what you were doing, you're making yourself look tall.

Yeah, no, I didn't. Get down. Did you see the posture? Get down. Get down. I saw this shit. No, I'm getting my posture right. Get down, little brandy.

No, no, you've just insured an hour of incredible posture Whatever dude, so we got locked in we got you guys you're both your hosts of the gay sex university podcast That's exactly what it is. You guys just started together. We just started that This morning You don't know I don't sure your publicist told me you got that email right eldest do you have a degree I'm a college dropout dropout yeah yeah well I have the most credits out of everyone for sure I have everything yeah I need six language credits. That's two credit two classes

Oh, you could bang that out and I know I'm fluent in Greek. Oh, yeah We'll go find a little around here doing it. Yeah, I find a school around here Do you like two credits away? Six credit two classes credits. I just said that there was a there was like a gravity bong in the dorm room Yeah, it was like it's time to take your test, but wait we just figured out how to make this rip really hard You better you better take it in before your test And then I just fucking play gamecube for an hour Yeah, it was like you could take a test

But oh there's only certain places that did it and one of them was like New York and at first I was like Oh, that's cool. I'll go to New York and like do some open mics, you know And then I was like, why don't I just why don't I literally did I went and bombed at the creek and then I was like I'll just do this. I actually don't want to take the test So I like I planned the trip for the test and then I like had to email a lady and that seemed annoying So I was like yeah yeah college dude I don't need college I did I did um two years two years of community college no associates and then I dropped out of a real then I dropped out of VCU yes I remember

you moving to VCU for like one month yeah like I like I was like I got a drop out of a real school yeah this has to cost my parents $4,000. Yeah. It's, yeah. Me and, yeah, VCU, VCU dropouts, me and the guy who created 4chan. Oh, wow. Both dropped out of VCU.

Wow, that's awesome. Yeah, it's great. It's hard to say who's done worse for the internet. Yeah. Between you and me. The cultural impact. Yeah. Who's been more embarrassing on the internet? Who's the same?

Yeah. Damn, fortune. How old is he? He wasn't around at the same time. We didn't cross paths. No, you definitely way older than you, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Christopher Pool, baby. Oh, 1988. No, it's like four years older than me. Yeah. Also known as Moot four years older than me. Yeah. Also known as Moot, is an American internet entrepreneur and developer. He founded the anonymous English language board, 4chan. I had it until 2015, so he got out at like a good time. He's like that.

That checks out. That's not on it. That's the guy that made that. He looks like the guy who made 4chan for sure. You were a big 4chan head, weren't you, Eldis? I wasn't. our buddy was. We did have a friend who did, yeah. I never really liked.

I was scared of it. I was scared of it, too. I used it a little bit. Yeah, because you're a little kid. Yeah. How old are you? I'm 26. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a little guy.

That's why you got his wisdom teeth out. Oh, yeah, I feel like we didn't address that on top. No, I was going to let. I just want people to think you're a cute little chipmunk guy. You're a cute little chipmunk hybrid. Yeah, this is really big zen. That's what I want people to think. Yeah, I'm just really addicted to nicotine.

That's awesome, dude. I have to get an extra. You look awesome. Brandon's shit is blocking it, but I love the way your cheek looks to me. Oh, dude, it's probably so big right now. Did you just get, you guys were like this morning. Wow.

Yeah. Does it hurt to speak? A little bit. We were saying earlier this is like through the wire for a very autistic man. Yeah, dude. Absolutely. This is just as impressive.

You have to podcast through half of a wisdom tooth procedure. I'm gonna do it through the wall. So you ever been with a squirter? No, that's crowd work dumbass. Oh yeah, true. Fucking idiot doesn't even know when to do squirter stuff. Or if you're on the Joe Rogan experience. Did you ask him that? Dude, we talked about squirting for like 20 minutes.

It was awesome. It was actually fucking sick. It felt right, dude. Because once I was in, I was like, oh yeah, this is what it feels like when that one like British guys talking about the pyramids. Yeah, that's how It feels for me to talk about squirting. This is what I'm passionate about. This is the science. I'm no joke We like looked up like a Japanese like The Japanese did a study where they hired a guy to finger pop and fuck women Oh my god, and they and they put like blue shit in there in their urethra's to check if it was piss or not

I don't think it's piss. Well. anyway, check out the Joe Rogan experience guys Let's plug that There was that there's that one clip that one clips have been popping off the squirty one I posted that one out of the squirting with the one where it seems like you're kind of biting your bite in your tongue What are you talking about? It's like, you know, they're you know, they're giving every immigrant a phone Yeah, there was some kind of voting rights thing it was just I literally just read the article and I was like, oh, yeah That's actually not true, right People think he's a dickhead, but he's just like you just have to be like oh, I actually don't think that he's like, oh, okay

He's just Mr. Mr. Too damn curious. Yes. He's fucking he's a curious man. He's just you know any strong Dude, and he's got a fucking archery range in his podcast studio. That's what we got That's why yeah, you have one of those in here. I think you got room No, we need the then I have to do away with eldest his chambers a lot of people don't know this But eldest just has a Murphy bed Living room and he sleeps out there and he cooks all my meals. He does my laundry Yeah, but you know we'll get there we'll get there someday archery cold plunge son. Oh, yeah, the cold I thought you're gonna say cold stone

Cold plunge, sauna. Oh yeah, the cold plunge. I thought you were gonna say cold stone. You get the cold. My own cold stone creamery? Or just the actual stone? The thing that they fucking scoop the ice cream on? I haven't been there in years. You know what I realized?

I just realized there is a cold, the cold stone cream means that there's a cold stone there. Yeah, I didn't know. Because they're not the cold. Oh shit. Because they don't really fuck with the stone, you know what I mean? Like there's that one type of Chinese ice cream where they like roll it or tie it with mochi? No, not mochi, that's Japanese. Yeah, that's Japanese.

I was gonna say. I thought you were being racist. No, it's the scraping one. I think it's actually Thai oneies. What is it? Can we find this out? There's a lot of uh, as the youngest one here, there's a lot of videos of like family guy clips with a little scraping videos underneath. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I know about that. Yeah, I know about it from being fat. You can't leave the house until you've watched like those.

Nah, I gotta watch two hours of this every day. Oh, Thai peanut ice cream roll. Maybe it's Thai. Maybe. Oh, I see. But I don't think Colts don't has one of those yeah, there's folks for the for the listener at home We're watching watching ice cream watching a guy just kind of move around Folks at home Yeah, oh, that's no that's that's No, no, that's what it is dickhead. Yeah

Goddamn You stupid boy. Anyway good now go to Cold Stone Creamery No, I don't know you don't fucking call the shots. I'm glad that I didn't stay home resting Yeah, let's just look at a guy I'm healing this room. Yeah, let's just look at a guy. Let's just watch it. I came all the way here from Ridgewood Queens to watch ice cream scoop videos. So okay, and it was worth it. Do they use the cold stone? Let's find this out. I'm just seeing a guy scooping. You don't have to pick a fucking show off.

Oh, he's locked in. Holy crap. This is some Benny Hanna shit. There is the stone. Oh, okay. They do have a stone I didn't know oh, yeah, then the toppings going on. Okay. All right. Well, bro. Yeah, mystery sauce cold stone creamery does have a cold stone Hell yeah, dude you hurt your first I'm curious to it's not just broken I like to get to the bottom of stuff too, and it turns out there is a cold stone if you could have one kind of like insane like specialty like

Kitchen item like a cold stone or like like some cold freestyle machine great in my damn house Imagine somebody comes over you've got the rain shirt. You gotta goddamn soda computer You're fucking that's fucking awesome the problem with the freestyle machine though is that the syrup is gonna run out You will have to replace the syrup a lot a lot and there's a lot of different types of syrup It's not like you're gonna have to Position where I've got a Coca-Cola freestyle machine in my home Every single day. I've got a Coca-a-cold freestyle machine in my home. You're gonna try every single day to have a soda. I've got a coke-a-cold freestyle man helping me.

Right. Then you gotta get it coming in and out. You got a soda tester? Yeah. I like that, though. That's a good, that's, it's not, you're not gonna get the most use out of it. Although, are you a big soda guy?

I like, well, the coke-a-cold freestyle machine, it's got, it's got like, usually like, I can only have diet soda at a restaurant I can only have diet coke. I'm with you as a diet soda fan. So there's a lot of different. Yes, you get a little ginger ale Yeah, you'll be here. Yeah, cherry ginger ale orange Any kind of ginger ale you're gonna think enough now. I remember like in middle school I was just when when I was the first time I I like had access to a

Cocoa-free some machine. I was doing shit that didn't even taste good, right? Oh, yeah, just because it just you know for the novelty of it all Oh, I'm gonna have vanilla sprite all the yeah It's not that bad. It's not oh, no lemon and vanilla Yeah, yeah, what are you do is that you're chill on it? Lemon and vanilla. Yeah. Yeah. What are you do is that you're chill on it? You're like a huge you're like a big soda. Oh, yeah, no, that's enough for my teeth are all fucked up Yeah, I chipped like back molar. I like cracked it in college eating candy respect. Yeah

Not chicken wing to yours. yours oh yeah I gotta fake like this one's all like a reformed or whatever it's called beautiful what do you mean reformed I don't know what the word is do you mean it's just a like a fake to it's like yeah have fake oh interesting I tried to use a crest white strips in it like burned very interesting so what when now would you wouldn't also say coke freestyle machine or would you I don't think I would do I think maybe Maybe like a deep fryer or something My dad had like a like a deep fryer growing up and like hell yeah, it was a shit

No, he's not like fat. He's like pretty though big stocky guy, and he would just eat fried. He had his own deep fry Well, yeah, he got it so that he because he would like would he was like I'm gonna make the perfect like I'm gonna make McDonald's fries to a T that's awesome. I'm gonna make them your dad fucking rules and that was his goal Yeah, just get the recipe right. Yeah, he would just make copycat recipes all the time That's so he made the mistake of teaching me how to use it So for like all of high school all I was like frozen chicken nuggets in the deep fryer And just like you get fatter shit. Oh, yeah, I was a big boy But I was in high school that I was on Adderall. So I was pretty thin

I was like rail thin but like once I stopped taking it in college. I think I was like 230 pounds or something like that I'd kill I'd be I would can't even imagine being 230 yeah that's true I'm taller than you I'm a giant I'm a mental giant. You're also five nine. Yeah, okay cool I I did I do I did just remember in high school There's that big Sean line where he's like I'm on HBO with my entourage. I'm five and I'm fucking nine to five Yeah, like hearing that it's like a virgin and just being like That's me That's me. That's actually me damn. What's big Sean up to these days? He's still right. He's still rapping. Is he yeah

What's the last year? There was an era where he was like on every feature on every single yeah, or he had like huge posse cuts for like yeah Yeah, big Sean is He's better. He's better than I like bull give him credit for Eminem featuring big Sean adrenaline Just search big Sean the Eminem imagery now that he uses for like all of his music videos is so sick he's always in like an episode of the Walking Dead yeah anyway Big Sean cute guy he's it yeah I want to I want to go let's get him let's get him to get a fucking comeback CC'9"? He seems smaller than that.

No, he should get him on the show. Should we? Yeah. Oh, he says 5'8 on here. He's listed as 5'8. Yeah. You could have him on just to test his height. That's a good idea. That's a really good idea. Thanks for coming on. See you later.

I'll just... What about you? let's finish this kitchen gadget conversation lately I have been wanting a like nut milk maker yeah I bet you want one of those although let me actually say it seriously I bet you love not milk fucking pussy This guy loves drinking milk right Fuck you It is but I think these like also heated they like they like you know fucking blend it really well. Yeah, I mean I heated like over Why not milk man, no you can make your own crazy shit you can throw some dates

This is this is in a fantasy scenario we can have any gadget well he also Yeah, I would pick a Coke freestyle machine. And then it's mine, and then you have to pick another one because it's my podcast. Yeah, it's soviet. It's soviet's one, we're just living in it, huh? No, it comes as no surprise to anyone that I would like. Oh, maybe a soft serve machine, actually.

That's awesome. That's nice. That's awesome. I'm not actually taking yours, though, get to keep the code. No, but get twisty. Get twisty. A freestyle. That's a great yeah. Yeah. Even have it kind of like yeah have a little cone dispenser next to it. Yeah. Oh man now we're cooking with gas. This comes with no surprise to anyone. I would like a full Korean barbecue table. Oh yeah. You know like just in the middle of my kid like there's their kitchen And then like there's the there's the kitchen where the cooking happens and there's like the dining area and in between

Yeah, there's a circular. Yes, Korean barbecue day with the vent Maybe a little Korean guy too. Just fucking chopping the meat up. I would like your house at all Yeah, that's what that's what a robot would be nice for because like you know how fuck robots look kind of like people I would love like a Korean barbecue robot. I want to take a little green and grown little man Little man in the closet charging at all times. I want some Benny Hohnish in my guy throwing shrimp in my mouth Yeah, I find that to be a little too a little too the Japanese show off too much the proud Korean That's a nice humble barbecue humble you cook your own meat You don't have a Mexican you're pretending is from southern Japan, and that's why he's tan

I'm just gonna be from Okinawa. I actually eldest I do feel like nut milk a nut milk maker is kind of a mature Thank you. It is a very I've been reflecting it sounds stupid, but it's like you can make several types of nuts in like a single milk. Yeah. I think ultimate nut milk. You can really... Is that even a... Look up nut milk. There, there, there.

Oh, you've looked it up. Alright, somebody wants a Christmas present. Look it up, Eldest. Let's see how much they cost. Maybe we'll have two birds with one stone. We do this podcast and I get your your Christmas bonus Knocked it out. It will knock it out. You're like buy with your credit card inexpensive. Yeah That's what it looks like this shit cost. I think there's like already want the thousand dollar one

You want the pro milk maker? Oh the pro? My biggest the pro milk maker Your dick is the Vega punk $63 pro milk maker. Your dick is the Vega punk $63 nut milk maker. Stylish bang for the buck. Interesting. Another obvious one that I think is actually pretty attainable that I might actually get at some point in my house. Pizza oven. Oh yeah, that's like, yeah. That's definitely doable.

That's just like a ninja thing, right? Like ninja make something They have those yeah, they have those crazy ones. They're like 300 bucks or something their price You know you want I want to fucking break up Yeah in my home Huh apparently those little ones are really good, okay? Yeah, well keeping up all by one of'll keep an eye on one of those right now. We'll get that for Christmas, dude. Make pieces.

You can put it on the patio. Can you pull up that video of Rick Ross talking about how he's scared of almond milk? I don't know this one. Yeah, me neither. Oh, yeah. This is right there. A conspiracy? I don't know this one. Yeah, yeah Yeah, this is yeah Rick Ross and DJ Cal say almond milk is a conspiracy You're not up on the arm. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no milk a couple no no no no get the almond milk now y'all trying to

No, no, no, no, and it's the question is it from the almond of the wall Why isn't there peanut milk these are two men two men with nine figures? Yeah, this is a very good. You know what though we came we have peanut milk. Yeah. Yeah, I've never had it It's just not really like it's mostly it's mostly for like vegan cheese and stuff. Oh That shit sucks my dick. Oh, yeah, let's get you a milk maker actually eldest. I want fresh milk I'm gonna milk. I'm gonna suck on your udders every morning I want fresh milk. I'm gonna suck on your udders every morning. Yeah, I'll buy you a milk maker, but you have to pour the made milk into pink udders

and then squeeze them out into a bottle and drink it that way. I go out of those breastfeeding practice things that you fill up with milk and put the doll up to you. Oh, great. You can suck it out from those. It's another fucking morning in this house. Oh, my God.

It's just another day at the office. Wait, what do they call those the breastfeeding pods? I think they're called breastfeeding pods. They're at the airports. Oh, they have like, Momova or some bullshit? Momova? Breastfeeding pods at the airport. Yeah, I've seen those. Oh, yeah

Mama pods. Yeah. Oh, they should make this clear. Yeah, they should make those clear. Yeah I'm always I'm always like I'm always fucking milfs in there Actually all the time I'm actually I don't think you've ever done that. I've actually always yeah I'm always doing no keep them how they are but keep a window where the titties are You should be able to pay for that you should be able to be like look the the the lactation whatever your pain is on me No, I'm outside And then you see your tits I don't want to see the baby get the baby out of my fucking face Small it's like a small way she should be pumping into a bottle. Mm-hmm. Maybe I don't want to see it's green little mouth on the tits But then you have to watch the baby, which is the I don't have to watch the baby the babies

I don't so that's not my fucking problem. Hey, you can just let it go. No, she a baby low in the airport. She keeps the baby low. Oh, okay. I was gonna say mm-hmm So it requires that she so like she can't actually breastfeed the baby So you want to make a milking station You want this in your kitchen. Yeah, look. This is my answer. It's the Mammava lactation pod that I can make the titty section clear. Do you have like an older woman over? Yeah. No, no, she's gotta be hot. Oh, you think we should have her as like the best milk doula?

There's a lot of ideas, man. But yeah, we got the mamava in there Have you guys got targeted with like breastfeeding on like Instagram like it is You mean like on reels dude like yeah like oh Breastfeeding influence. Yes. It's fucking no. No, I have got an algorithm thing. Yes, because my algorithm will be so show They'll show me anything with tits so like It's start the first thing that was like non explicitly like yeah sexual like hot girls was like

There's like a couple girls are like we're they're all Australian for whatever reason like we're doing fashion for for whatever reason, like, we're doing fashion for full of busts. And it's like four bitches with big titties to like be able to know what to wear. And she'll just like put on, she'll be like, it's pretty supportive. Right? And then I'm just like, no.

Yeah, you're the camera on your phone is tracking your eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's watched it for like this long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, I'll do it. I'm like, oh fuck. Oh that's cool. I'm going to tell my friends with big tests to buy that. But then it'll be breastfeeding.

And then at first it's like legit breastfeeding. And then it's like some lady that just has like, it's like on some android, it's grainy. and it's like this kid is like sucking on her tit and her other tit is just hanging out. And she's got like a full face of makeup on, you're like, oh no, this is like, they're circumventing like the pornography rules by having a kid sucking on her tit.

It's like so it's allowed on Instagram? It is allowed on Instagram. And that she just has her other breasts. Her other tits is usually out. I feel like such a dork, cause all my stuff's like guitar stuff. Yeah. I've never seen any of this stuff. Dude, you're a fucking loser.

Yeah, I know. They show me every type of fat tit there is. I don't see them, dude. I'm seeing like old men with pony tails. Shredding. This year Epiphone is releasing a new less I'm like, oh, whoa, that's fucking all I wonder what it looks like. I wonder if it's purple or something Which are you getting you're getting breastfeeding ads?

I haven't in a while not ads. We know you're just like scrolling discovery Yeah, like an instagram and you'll see those like the little suggested page sometimes my Instagram is always like usually the algorithm knows me really well and you guys but then no thank you Patrick so about you guys kissing no I do get I do occasionally get ads though. Now I'm like, now I'm guys kissing. How to turn your parent's basement into a livable area for a 30 year old man? It's all like, I'll get like, I will get like I was the habits of a molested man Well, you grew up on like when you were young you're like you guys were like were you on bases? We are military. Yeah. Yeah, it was on it. So it's like simulation towns. They do molest on bases I did not get molested we talked about this before I didn't give a Patrick, did you ever get molested? No.

Really? No. Well that changes your change. When I first met you, that's what you were saying. You were saying I'm going to be the free. Well I was thinking, yes. When I first met you. You were saying you were going to molest me.

Well what I was thinking was it's not enough to, like, women need to feel safer in comedy. They get, you know, they get sexually harassed all the time. It's not enough to just stop doing that to women. We have to start doing it to young men So that that way the next generation of women they have the leg up on them the way old generations men Even so the young men need to be the molested ones and even though I'm straight You're gonna pick me to be the first one I think it was you because you have a cute little chipmunk mouth, you know That's kind of what I was saying at the time. And to be clear, I don't want to molest anyone.

I'm not attracted to you in any way, shape, or form. This is more because I am a feminist, and I feel like if I make you jack my dick for a little bit, on like, when we're like on the road in Connecticut or something, like, I book a one-nighter that's way beneath me just to like take you to a shitty hotel and make you suck my dick in the fucking at a double tree. Yeah, it's like a pizza place.

It has a comedy night. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is your big break kid. Come on, get up there, Pat. Audience of like three people. I'm just like, I'm like, massage you. I'm like, give him hell, kid.

Jesus, Mr. Halkie is so nice. Yeah, I really, you have a lot. Why don't you come back to my room, I remember this, we'll go over some pointers on your act We just fucking when you come in I'm in a robe my dick is out. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, oh, sorry But I'm looking at you the whole time You started you started young so like what's like what's the closest you got to getting molested? I'm kind of see you What's like the closest you got to getting molested in comedy?

You started young and you looked like a child. So you're the one, again, you keep saying, hey, we talked about this last time, you keep setting me up to point it back to you about getting molested. So just tell me this, Brandon, who wasn't the molested you in comedy? We got it. See? There's an answer! See? Oh, we got it Yes, yes, well no, it's like look

I do feel I do feel as though it's pursued sure you're groomed I groomed. I was like, there was a tentative grooming. But it's funny to be like a pedophile no-reze. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like a char, like, you know. Not charming enough. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay. No, I never mind. You never mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a please. No, there was like an older comic who I remember when I was, I had just started, he found me in a vulnerable time. Yeah. And uh. Doug Benson.

He smoked him up. He smoked him up. Brandon sucked his dick. I was greened out. I was greened out. I was greened out. He looked at you, he was like, you want to get some dugs? Oh, yeah. Getting dugged by molested.

Getting dugged by molested. Brandon was the first and only guest on that show. the only guest on that show we're rehearsing for Jazz I thought I was gonna be on Jazz yeah that's a shame dude no I there was I do remember like when I, I met, there was like an older comic when I was like 17. Oh yeah, I remember this. Yeah, I think I told you this story. I remember this actually.

Like I had just like bombed like a callback for just for laughs and I was like really upset about it. And then this older comic like pops up and he's like, I loved it personally. Oh wow. And then he's like, he's talking up and he he pulls out his phone pulls up a video of himself on Johnny Carson oh wow

pulls up a video of himself on Johnny Carson and he's like hey like I'm gonna go to the bathroom check this out while I'm gone and then like comes back from the bathroom he He's like so what were your favorite parts? Oh my god, and then I saw I'm like do material from that set That next day after you spent the night in his hotel At a brunch show that he took you to after you guys shared a fucking a sweet no We did we talked about this it is crazy I really like I skated I got lucky yeah I got lucky there was a there was an Andy

Dick incident yeah I can Andy Dick incident that was not but I was like the thing I was barely legal right but there was like I do feel like Andy Dick did want did want to fuck but like he's but like Yeah, he just wants to fuck, you know sure the man was that was actually the funniest He had like the funniest response to a me too. Oh really just like yeah, yeah, I probably did do that Look, I'm lonely I was I was drunk. I wanted to fuck. Yeah, I'm a man. I'm a gay man gay guys get to do that That's how that's how we behave and 90% of gay guys are cool with it Have you seen that video of him? He's like calling into a podcast and he's just got his shit rocked

Oh, wow, really? He's just like battered and bruised and the lady's like Where like what happened to you like what? Oh? rocked oh wow really just like battered and bruised and the ladies like where like what happened to you like what oh yeah really depressing one well he like she's like what are the guys look like he went gangsters wait you know my guys with a shit beat up it's the most racist racist response. GANG! He really hit the end in gangsters. He was like, GANGSTERS! If you catch my drift. Gang gansers hard on.

No, I never saw that one. Did you ever see that it was like Muppets in space or whatever and there's that like puppet that's like green with like yellow hair? Do you remember this one? I don't remember him. I thought that was Andy dick when I was a child He's in like one scene. He's like a doctor. Oh, and I thought that like

Dude, I don't remember what this is face. I was a big Muppets head, but oh, yeah Oh, I was gay Gay just really, really, really gay. I'm just really, really, really, really gay. Eldest in the edit, let's make Patrick be saying, I'm really, really, really gay. OK, just put that in. Not Patrick Shea Gay. Gay. Gay.

Brandon you too? Gay? This is the perfect... Thank you! Blackmail section of the episode. We'll take it from here guys! No I'm doing it! Can I do another take?

Yeah you can do one more. No I felt like it was like gay question mark. Okay. Good point. quiet sorry everybody quiet go ahead Brandon look I'm an act I'm an actor yeah I know dude gay perfect they're gonna take in a different direction if they're gonna go like yeah we don't we Paul is so... I can't wait to work those into like 30 different spots on the second spot. We just don't keep anything else. I mean, the whole episode is cutting to you. Yeah, I think that's questions. Well, you guys are gone and we can just do another for like 10 minutes.

Those are just questions. I love it, man. We're really gonna, this year, because as we all know, it's 2024. This year on the podcast, we're really going to push the limits, Eldest. We're going to become a multimedia experience. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That's when this comes out, 2024? Yeah, well, it is 2024, Patrick. Oh, yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, it's 2024. This year's awesome. What a year it's been. The Palestine solve. The two-state solution. Yep. Mm-hmm. What else has happened? The Ravens have won or about to win the Super Bowl. Yeah, everything's going good. I'm still alive. I'm still alive. I mean, those are both still alive. We weren't caught having gay sex and ritualistically murder suicide at each other rather than fate. We think about that all the time.

We're like, imagine it. There'd be no way, like if Eldis' wife found out we were gay, there's no way to go around that that's like the most like the betrayal murder suicide yeah I think so I mean we're not you guys are we covered that earlier you two right eldest remember when they said they were yeah but me and him are straight but it would be interesting you know like if you were gay with the other guys on your podcast. Yeah, we are be weird, huh? We already are Everybody you everybody straight on the pod though, right? I think so. I don't know. I don't know what Caleb's up to He could be on the DL He's been taking me to the gym a lot. Oh, yeah, are you trying to get swole, dude? Oh, yeah nice

Yeah, I don't know why I started but I just started doing it. You gonna get strong? Oh I'm gonna get fucking gigantic. That's awesome. Have you seen this guy Sam Sulek? Yeah he's gigantic. Oh yeah. Oh yeah I'm gonna look like that. You gonna do you gonna do Royds? Oh absolutely. That's awesome. The 21 year old that's gigantic.gantik. He's got that crazy hair and shit. Yeah, really long hair. We're drinking milk. Yeah, I think so. He's like drinking a lot of milk.

He's jacked. He's a piece of ass. Oh yeah. He looks like an anime guy. Yeah, he's sick dude. I don't know if I'm thinking of the wrong guy. Sam Sulek is this guy. Oh, I don't know him. Yeah.

Yeah dude, that's a fucking awesome body. Dude, that's kind of how I would look if I did a couple push-ups. Yeah Dude me and Sam I'm working out with Sam select. Yeah, dude. These titties look like real titties I know it's so amazing and I do think he's on a wild amount of stairs. Oh, yeah Well, if you're on steroids you get those like little fucking acne bumps Yeah, I feel like he has like crazy acne on this face He's got steroid voice to yeah Yeah, well good for him though. Oh, yeah respect. I what your dick probably doesn't even really work

No, that's the thing that's it's you know, you don't need it anymore I can't get there man. I can't get so jacked the whole point of getting in better shape would be to even though I don't need to The whole point of getting in better shape would be to, even though I don't need to get less fat to get pussy, but the whole point would be to just be a fuck machine. To be like a just- You only do cardio? Maybe. No, I wanna get strong, because that's, you know,

throw these whores around a little bit, you know what I'm saying? But yeah, I can't believe people get that big and their nuts don't work. Yeah. That's wild man. Not for me. I would not trade my nuts for anything to be honest with you. I could, I could trade them for something. Maybe some magic beans or something.

Would you need a guarantee that the magic beans like work? Oh yeah, no I gotta go up the bean stock. You gotta go up the bean stock first. Or you just know, you just... I know it's you just I know It's gonna I know it's an honorable like witch or whoever sold you the beans for the oh yeah, absolutely Would you trade it for a Coca-Cola free-style machine? It's your nuts. It's just about one not for Coca-Cola one not for a free-style machine is a really good deal It really is it's a really good deal. I mean you're gonna spend money on syrup for the rest of your life but that's fine. I like hate. I hate nuts. Huh?

I just like hate nuts. No. Yep. Come on. Let's fucking go. Let's say louder for the people of the back. No I just like hate hat. We don't need them. We need them but like I wish we did need them. You were prefer they were inside your body. I wish we just I wish actually. Sounds like a man who's a. No I just I wish it was just I wish it was just all shit. I wish like no of us had notes Yeah, I wish they was just inside. Yeah, see I yeah, I do think I don't like them I don't like them touched are they too small like you're not touched. Yeah, you buy a woman gargled I don't about gargle, but a little play with maybe You know just like cradled maybe a little not a suck Not out they don't need to girls like really suck. It's like why do you think that would feel good? No

I know but give me a little lick some people like that though How this deal they've heard of trial and error. I just I'm kind of where I'm out on it You're in your 30s. You haven't learned not to suck not I just leave it leave them out of it The nut pain is like such a specific thing it's not like pinching your dick where you could like kind of you know kind of pinch your dick a little and it wouldn't hurt but it would like hurt applying like even a little pressure. That's true. On your nuts. That is true. So how are women supposed to know that? How am I saying? If it's been this long because the thing is it's happened to me where it's like somebody who's really talked up their

Head giving ability and to me it's like well You're a fraud if you don't if you're sucking nuts this hard Yeah, or you've been with nothing but guys that like pain and myself. I'm not a where they're trying to steal them They might be trying to steal my nuts how to suck them out before I even realize run away Running out of your house You know Suck them out before I even realize run away But that's interesting Brandon you you prefer you prefer the neatness of just a cock no nuts Yeah, or just like it is strange that an organ is outside your body Yeah, it is now that you say it. It is. They're way too sensitive, they're way too fragile. I don't really, yeah, I don't like

getting them played with. You know why it is, literally I remember, this is one of the only things I remember from sixth grade biology, I'm not even kidding, is that the optimal temperature for making sperm is 96 degrees or something. And our body's running at like 97 point, whatever, nine. And so somebody like freaks, I don't remember what it is,

but there must have been like some freak monkey that had his nuts just outside and he got healthier jizz. Or just like somebody was born with a fucking deformed nuts. Maybe that's why you gotta sun your, like, your taint. To warm them up. Yeah, you heard about that stuff. See, 93.2 degrees to make jizz.

And our bodies went at 98.6. Pretty interesting stuff, huh guys? So what the hell do, what's the... Yeah, what's the... I don't know. Anyway, I like... What do we do with this information? Well, my point is I like the nuts.

I think they're fun. I like, you know, I like having a little extra something there I'm definitely proud of mine. I've said it before I have large nuts. I have a little penis large nuts and I'm That's the only way to be Only way to be Only way to be a nice fat sack and a little ass prayers I don't like them getting fucked with what I'm fucking because it's like they're too ticklish Yeah, but a little a nice little fucking right on the edge of ticklish Yeah, you know a nice little reach back on your nuts that feels good, but that's like fool Tee hee hee There's no way to like get your nuts touched without it like being funny

There's a couple ways Even even when you get them sucked on it's funny not sucked on but it's like you're sucking nuts out Yeah, cock That's Patrick can't get head without cracking up. You're winnowing my ass. You're winnowing my ass. You're gay.

You're sucking up boys, we know you're gay. That's winnowing what you're doing with me. My gay dog's going off cause there's a, now a gay guy's fucking me off. Hahaha. Yup, yup. No, I'll take the nuts. I don't, I disagree Brandon. But that makes sense. I wish mine were like too big.

I wish you had like a tumor. What are you saying? Bro, I wish I had a tumor on that face. You know that guy that put like, he got a jet-tune saline? He gets saline in your nuts probably. Oh yeah, there's a dude who does that. Really?

I've seen there's like a guy who puts saline in his nuts but also put him in a vacuum seal. Oh wow. So that they get like, it looks like a basketball. That's fucking crazy. His name is BKBulge, shout out. What is it, BKBulge? BKBulge. BKBul BK balls a bulge BK ball?

Based in Brooklyn really oh, he's Brooklyn's and bulge yeah, and this eat gigantic nuts little dick So what is oh interesting? Oh? What is my mission is to get my balls as big as possible? This is just a no, it's all go go back I think he's on X. Yeah, I'm it on X. Yeah, there it is DK bulge. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean this is good Just look at the other we're not gonna show this but yeah, that's crazy So he's making his balls bigger is dick big as well. I think both of them are getting very big with saline. Hmm But it's too big Hmm

To Boys grow got me hornyed up for size so I threw three liters five percent in oh wait Oh, are these just as most popular? Yeah The thing is it's kind of like an optical illusion. You can't tell what the dick is. I see the dick though. It's that little part in the top. Your eyes went straight to it, huh? Yeah, I guess so.

He kind of made his dick a clit. Yeah. And his balls are like big fat pustulates. Very interesting. BKBolch, huh? Oh yeah. Well good for him. You know what it is? He set out, he had a goal and he achieved it. Yeah. I mean he's still as big as possible. It's like his balls in the under it looks like it's like shaped like one of the

characters on the PJs. Absolutely. I love BK Bulge yeah my question is like I'm gonna got you good with the yeah yeah it's a great show yeah doesn't get enough credit honestly? Yeah, wait, yeah, it was Eddie Murphy. One season, two seasons, no? Yeah, they ran the rules really well. Eddie Murphy. It was really fucking funny. Fox, cartoon, yes. Anyway, what the fuck were we talking about?

Big nuts. Talk about gigantic nuts. When you have big ass nuts like that, can you get a nut off? I don't even know if he gets not if if this is a fucking ass and the guy like Bum-bum-bum-bum like maybe dribbles his nuts like bongos. Yeah, bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum You never seen him getting his ass fucked? No, I think you gotta pay for it. I think you gotta pay to see that. I'm gonna... Money's a little tight around the house right now. Hey, I'm getting Elvis a nut milk maker for Christmas. I know what I'm getting you for Christmas.

A custom video. A custom video. He's saying your name. He's got your name written on his balls. That would be awesome, actually. He just draws a little face on his balls. That would be awesome actually. He just draws a little face on it and just runs around. Oh yeah, dude. Mm, very, very interesting.

You boys, you look a little hungry. I bet what you'd, you know what these guys would like, Eldis? They'd like some farm fresh ingredients brought right to their door with easy recipes. Folks, Brandon and Patrick and the folks at home, do I have just the solution for you? That's HelloFresh.

We're very happy to have HelloFresh as a sponsor. I've used their services before. I got back into it. I'm trying to cook my own meals. I've been on the road for two years plus. I've been eating a lot of takeout, a lot of bullshit. And so I wanted to get back in the mix, but I'm also kind lot of takeout, a lot of bullshit, and so I wanted to get back in the mix, but I'm also kind of, you know, we're podcasting, we're busy over here,

I don't have time to go to the grocery store every day, so we're trying to hell of fresh. They signed on as a sponsor just as I was trying to cook my own meals. It was beautiful, it was Kismet, and I love their, I love the packages they send. Everyone's trying to change. I'm trying to eat a little healthier. We're'm trying to eat a little healthier. We're all trying to eat a little healthier here at the beginning of the year. And what I like about HelloFresh is they got a lot of different options. They got wholesome health forward options like Calorie Smart, some low-cal stuff. And if you're trying to get jacked, you're trying to get swole, like I'm about to be

jacked. They got the Protein smart recipes as well. Each HelloFresh box is packed with farm fresh ingredients and everything arrives, pre-portioned just right for you, less hassle, nice ingredients, delicious, delicious recipes. I just had the spicy pork rigatoni. Oh my God, it knocked my socks off.

The whole thing was done. It takes like less than a half hour even if you're a slow cook like myself. And then you decide exactly what you want on the website. You pick it. I was hankering for a little pasta, okay? Had a little and they got healthier versions of it until you get chicken sausage in there. It was truly delicious. Everything comes just right. Even the little shit, even the like, you know, the garnishes, the oils where you don't want to go buy a big ass sprig of cilantro just to fucking put it on the top of your shit. They got a nice little amount there for you. I love it. I just had it. I'm going to do, I think today I might have a

little, they got a little chicken little breaded chicken Recipe with some roasted potatoes. I'm all over that some green beans on that bitch. I can't wait folks so if you want to be like me if You want to have some delicious recipes brought right to your door go to hello fresh comm slash stave free and use code Stave free for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. You get free breakfast with every order. That's free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com slash Stavifree with code Stavifree Hello Fresh America's number one meal kit.

Well, why don't we, Elders, why don't we get to some fucking question? I mean, I'd love to talk about BKBulge all day, but I'd love to get to some questions here, really solve some people's problems. You weren't prepared, you couldn't see this coming, man? We were looking at the PJs. We were looking at the PJs, yeah. We gotta keep them on the screen for like a little bit longer. Just to let everyone know about the PJs. Of course.

The PJs, the projects. All right. Hi, Stavihile. This is Steve, the guest. I have a pretty quick one for you. I'm on 24. I have this recurring problem where this thing kept getting brought up. When I was like, I don't know, like 19 or 20, I'd like done coke like once, and then a buddy

wanted to try it and you know, like, I listened to fucking Biggie and you know, heard him talking about like, you know, you sprinkle a little sure, we were poking the blunt and you know, he didn't snorting feel evil when you're like you were just a teenager. You know what I mean? I kind of want to try it. I was like fucking snort at the time. And so, you know, like twice put a little coke in the, in the J smoking up burns weird, but like nice high, good energy of, uh, and, and the euphoria of weed. And, uh, I did that like twice. You know, I'm just, I've just been snoring. But, uh, whatever I bring this up to somebody, you know, oh, you know, it happens every few, you know, six months or whatever.

Why? Somebody in the fucking group is always like, oh dude, that's crack. You've been smoking crack. So, Stavi, please help me. Because I'm tired of this shit. Have I done crack? No, man. No. Because I don't do it anymore. I did it a handful of times.

But I just keep, I keep, some, dipshoots always tell me that I, what is, what kind of question is this? No, you haven't smoked crack. What the fuck? What the fuck kind of question is this, man? This is what made it through the screening process. Some guy who did smoke crack, complaining that people accused him of smoking crack.

You're just minding us. Good thing we had two minutes of exposition. Yeah. Yeah. No, had two minutes of exposition Yeah, no, I know what that exposition is like. Yeah, but you are fucking smoking crack the fuck that sucks What you should do is just tell everybody that you are also why does it come up every six months? Yeah, no one asked you Hey, is anybody here a sprinkled weed on their blunts? No, you're bringing it up I can tell that this guy's bringing this shit up unprompted for sure Absolutely, and he was really cool. Yeah, and it's not I mean whatever. It's not I mean just neutral It's a neutral piece of yeah of you know of

Information that's great. You guys ever smoke cocaine. No, I've never done that. Oh a cocaine laced blunt I think I did this once I don't think I have we ever have we ever like I smoked in Lace or anything That's completely different. Yeah, my lungs my lungs bled We one time one time we crushed a perk in a weed bowl. Yeah, that was pretty fucking sick Yeah, I'm still using weed that was awesome. I guess i'd like smoke i've smoked weed and then taken lean or whatever but yeah no chronic

but yeah man i don't know what the fuck you really had for us that's really you know i'm not even mad at you i'm at it out this that's his fault for letting that get to my ears uh... you're clearly a dumbass but at least no one's paying you to make sure you don't have to listen to stupid questions like yours All right, what else do we got? What's up, man? I'll just keep it short and simple a little while back

I had a big falling out with an old friend of mine. We're best friends basically brothers type of situation I fucked up and have sex with those other guys beyond the Whole rigging a roll, but anyway flash forward a little bit later Just you're trying to yada yada Basically brothers Basically brothers and I fucked his fiance not his girlfriend his fiance. Yeah, that's crazy I had sex with the woman that he loves that he was about to marry Fucking get over that's crazy. Did you just like my best friend's fiance tomato tomato?

Did not just be like it was the biggest mistake of my life. I'm a piece of shit I thought but yeah, you know the whole rigamarole. He said the whole rigamarole That is not a rigamarole. That is what is a couple rungs above rigamarole. That's great You cannot try and rigamarole that all right. What else do this man has to say for himself now? We had plans of making music together Oh my god This is crazy You know

Of making music together at some point in time, you know way back in the day and we were coming up with a Rap collect the name. Oh my fuck. I was throwing some dumb ones out there I'm not gonna try to be funny on your show most most of them not but We landed on one that was just fantastic just fire. I'm sure it was I say we I mean he you know make this short and Present day. I am still in that thing. You know, I'm gonna be doing my thing. It's music time and I I'm doing it with another guy pause Yeah, I just don't know what you think about Using that name still because like technically It doesn't belong to me

But like I was the only one who ever took it serious enough to try and push things with it You know, I got like logos made branding like you know, I got stuff done. This is awesome. I got the made condoms designed at one point. Yeah. But this is all me, man. But technically, I didn't come up with it, you know. So I still want to use it though. And do I need to like hit them up and be like, Hey, even though you fucking do your life, take it run or do I not use it at all? know you fucking do you like take it run or done I use it at all like a little bit of input would be great this is awesome anyways thank you you know what this is the oldest and thank you guest this is the like punishment this guy has for

like I mean look let me just tell you something you're never gonna have a Korean music under no circumstances are you going to be successful? So this is gonna be a novelty rap duo? And it's now become a solo novelty rapper. He's got a different partner, but this is the behavior of the type of person that will... I have never heard more clear example of never going to make it behavior in my life. You had merch made before you had a single fucking song. Even if you were, by the way, even if you were the best rapper, whatever,

you're like some fucking regular ass white guy and God knows where I don't know what that area code is, but even if you took it seriously, you're probably not gonna make it. I mean, look, man, you can never, the idea that you think this name might be what, it's fire, I'd love to hear the name. Oh, I mean the fact is that you're the logo too. I would love to hear the logo too.

No, the fact that you won't say what the name is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he doesn't want anyone to steal it. Exactly. Yeah. Before he's been able to have a summit with the man who he betrayed for permission. Dude, imagine being this guy who's starting his life over, you're in a good relationship, you're like, and then you see this guy,

and it's not like an insanely heartfelt apology, it's not like I miss you, man, I'm a piece of shit. Like anything I can do for you, whatever. It's like, hey man, I just, you know, we got a fresh, I know this is tough, I know this is hard for you to hear but Me and mark are gonna be the retard boys We've got we've got a we've got a whole shipment of glow-in-the-dark butt plugs

Retard boys on them and we're really gonna need your blessing. I would just feel you know me. I'm a moral guy We're really gonna need your blessing. I would just feel you know me. I'm a moral guy Betraying you in any way by stealing something that you Held dear like the name of our shitty rap Things that he he mentioned is he was like he's making con so it's like the guy he fucks the guys Yeah So it's like the guy he fucks the guys Yeah, yeah, we're going to future wife his fiance and he's like hey, you know that idea you had yeah Yeah, I'm gonna put that on a condo. I know that I mean this is crazy. This is all so bad This is so fucking stupid and I'm sorry. It feels like we're being harsh to you It's just you know, you're a piece of shit for fucking your best friend's fiance and you this is so this is such a hilarious

Worry to have you need to call back and freestyle into the phone though. Yeah, I need to hear I might eat crow I might eat crow all I need to know like I just need to know the name of the thing man Just text us. You don't even have to call back. You're gonna be like the guy who uh the new additions manager to him Yeah, I when he was talking about fucking his his friends fiance I thought where that question was gonna go is like how do I mend this relationship? But it's just oh I already made the merch I already made the merch All these boxes merch

What a fucking idiot god man, so yeah, dude, I mean definitely don't here's if I were you right yeah I would absolute I would absolutely not use the name he came up with just out of like Really covering the bay like you're a piece of shit you know that right yeah fuck this fiance I would never speak to him again and I would steer clear of anything that I would even consider could possibly hurt his feelings even by accident now this guy hopefully I was gonna say he's probably not as big an idiot as you but like he he might be let's be honest so this might hurt his feelings it's funny to think of that somebody being that

stupid that it's like alright man fucking my fiance was one thing, but You took the name dude That was something we made together dude. We were the super meat squadron We were meat wads holy order and it's like They're all wearing like armor, but it's me it's me watch an armor Okay, whatever dude, yeah that I could tell you I would not do the name Whatever whatever I would not I would definitely not ask in permission. That's correct of all the things you should have run by him

asking permission that's great of all the things you should have run by him this isn't the one buddy don't make contact with him if I were you I wouldn't use the name I would use something else and I've got good news for you it's a bad name yeah I know you think it's the difference between success and failure it's not just pick something equally as stupid that you think is awesome. But yeah, whatever. Next question. How does I saw a big fan of yours just by you at Beacon theater and I have a situation with a guy that I met two years ago that kind of

faded away. He kind of ghosted me, I guess, uh, just kind of disappeared. And I felt really bad about it and deleted his number. So I could just move on. Um, and then, uh, two years later, uh, a couple of months ago, he contacts me saying he misses me and I was so crazy about him back then that I agreed to kind of start seeing him again. And it's only been a couple of months that he's come out a few times and it's been great.

But I am feeling very insecure about it. He hasn't responded to a text that I sent him four days ago about missing him and wanting to see him. So I'm thinking this is, you know, still kind of how he operates and I should be surprised that he hasn't changed in two years and I'm okay with that. I accept that he's definitely not right for me, but my question is should I reach out again and try to address the music more or should I just let it go? Like I did last time in the lead is

number and also block him I just don't know how to kind of close the book on this situation because it doesn't look good and it just makes me feel super sad and unwanted and I just want to get over him for good please help thanks yeah I mean, this sucks. And it's like, yes, you know what it is. This guy's a fucking idiot. And it's like, it's the, you're learning the hard way,

fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, shit. But we've all been there. You get a nice piece of dick, nice piece of pussy pie. They hit you up out of the blue, even though they broke your heart. You're gonna go in for another taste for old times sake and then you're right back where you were, right?

So it's fine, we've all, everyone's guilty of it, I'm sure, on the panel here. So you just have to, I don't know, maybe you are, maybe not. I don't know. You don't know? Yeah, you fucked like two girls, right? Yeah. You're like engaged in your high school suite, right now you're married and you're... I'm not married. I know, know. You don't know? Maybe. Yeah, you fuck like two girls, right? Yeah. You're like engaged in your high school suite.

Right now you're married and you're in a high school. I'm not married. I know, I know, I'm kidding. You got a high school. I thought you were confusing us all together. No, no, no. No. Is one of the other motherfuckers married?

Yeah, Caleb's married. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Brandon, how about you? It's funny to think about you with a broken heart than Patrick is your guy. Does anybody ever finessed your little bitch ass? Yeah. Yeah. Would they ghost you and leave you?

No, it was more like, you know, sort of, it's a lot of, I've never had a clean break. It was a lot of syndication. Sure, bring them back. Yeah, bring them back. A lot of reboots in the past, but yeah, no, I've had my heart broken. You gotta just know not to engage

Yeah, you gotta move on this guy like completely, you know, he was just he was going through the old rolodex He was like hmm Things are kind of dry who fucked me within the last yeah presidential term Right, oh, yeah, this girl. Fuck that was kind of cool. Why'd we stop talking? But yeah, you know he sees that he goes to you Doesn't give a fuck and then just like you're the best right oh Man, sorry. I've been busy for yeah, two years Callous and cruel and you don't want to get burned again bad guy So don't touch the stove don't touch the guy. So don't touch the stove. Don't touch the stove, baby girl.

Don't touch the stove, baby. Yeah. You know what you need to do, unfortunately. You were on the right path before. You only faltered. And it's human nature. You faltered when he came crawling back. Just don't.

You got to block him. You got to let him. And yeah, it's OK if you feel a little preemptive, right? Like maybe he still, he still, you know, maybe he's not going full ghost yet. Just don't give him the opportunity, you should be the, just be done with him, and you know, block him and stick to it. That's the hard part, right? I know what I need to do, I need to eat healthy, but hey, there's a fucking Ben and Jerry's right around the corner. Okay, I get high I go a little stroll Jerry like a no But there's pints of it. Well, I got excited. I'm sorry. I

Didn't mean to do that to you man my bad So just you have to be you just have to stick to it and you know Just Just that's really all there is to it and you know just that's really all there is to it. We all know unfortunate situations like this and he will probably tempt you again so it's just more about keeping your you know keeping your willpower strong but it's a hard one but we believe in you. Hi, Stavi. So I have a co-worker who I've known personally for about 10 years. He got me into this job in social work, which I am very grateful about. I've always wanted to

break into the social work industry. It's always something I've been kind of good at, despite not having a degree. And now that I've been here a couple months, it turns out I am pretty good at it. I'm good at mitigating clients. I'm good at finding solutions to the weird, unruly issues that we have with clients. And the guy who got me this job, who I've known for 10 years, turns out he's not great. At most things that are work-related, there's time for I'll have to lean on him for things because he is technically the senior employee. For example, I'll have to have him print out a bunch of paperwork or I'll be on the phone

with a client. And because he is a dumbass, sometimes he'll sneak in little pranks. Like he'll print out the pages that I need but every other page just say these nuts on it no way really funny stuff you'll also like sing I don't know the Rick Hall song while I'm on the problem that's not as good as these nuts on every page. Sorry man, I just love that song. I'm on the phone. The problem is I work in emergency client services for people who have HIV predominantly.

Oh my god. Clients are usually getting evicted. They're usually getting evicted and all. Oh my god. So even though... All right, pause this. I've actually changed my mind. This guy rules.

This guy's amazing. This guy's fucking rocks. Yeah, no. I've actually changed my mind this guy rules He's like you should be in charge of the company So I was like please the police are trying to kick me out I'm just trying to finish my last course of chemo And he's like, hey, what do you think of this and he shows you his phone? It's his penis He's like a smiley face drawn on his penis. Oh, no Look at this picture of my sister's niece

This really is a Rick Rollie These are really into Rick Rowling people. These really into Rick Rowling? Oh guys, oh guys have you seen this? Peanut Butter Genocide. What's this guy on about? These guys are awesome. Alright so let's finish up the question here. Goatsy. You see client services for people who have HIV predominantly Clients are usually getting evicted their utilities are about to get shut off. So even though

This dumb motherfucker is making pretty fucking dope Jokes it's not the time or place. Yeah, the time. Yeah how do I mediate and confront my coworker about not going, uh? No, I'm on a call with my friend, who is in for a date. Or how do I tell him to not print out pages, that's the key, not when I'm about to hand the client a rental application form to like help them like Sustain my anyway. Yeah, so I work with a straight boy Mm-hmm at an LGBTQ clinic. Obviously, you know, it's HIV LGBTQ care

And so how do I rope this straight boy into like? Reading the room So anyway, the penis me for a couple years. Love you, bye. Interesting. Yeah. One thing right off the top of my head, give him AIDS. Yeah, there it is.

He wants to laugh about it. Yeah. Get this guy, get a fucking dirty needle. Yes. Prick this fucking guy and be like, oh, what? I thought it's a good laugh in time. I thought we're all laughing. Oh, thought that would be the all we're doing jokes there's a fucking joke and then put in the hobo blood right into him

and then that'll fucking teach him. It's crazy that your co-worker is like 16 years old and your superior. I know I know. Yeah so this is right that is that is we are so fucked this is social I know these are the people that are helping the most vulnerable people and it's like a dumbass like this that you know is so bad at his job probably got such a good heart though he could or he could just not be able to get a job Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's patch out For homeless gay guys. Yeah, she she does she is like sympathetic towards no, that's why she's cool Let me be clear. He's fucking based. Yeah. Yeah. Look the bits are good. No one's got a problem with the bits. Yeah Yeah, she said pretty fucking dope joke. Yeah. Yeah, it is you can see it being funny, right?

Yeah, yeah, this person's cool. Obviously look these member of Stavis. Well, she's part of Stavis world family She's been listening for years. She's cool. Yeah, I would just say Rickroll Rickroll in 2023 24 in 2023 very very powerful move 2024 2024 Rickroll he's just singing it too, he's not even like pulling it up this guy's awesome man dude you know how fun it would have been to watch anchorman with this guy seven years ago watch anchorman with this guy in college

his mind would be like what the fuck like the the fuck like the fuck dude I would love to share a vault soda with him yeah so I mean look you just got to talk I mean he's clearly a dumbass but he probably is he is like at the end of the day he's still in social work even if he's just a fuck he's stupid and bad at his job he's got a good heart whatever and you could just be like this also seems like the kind of guy that's just like probably rolls with things pretty good and

you have to be like hey man these and honestly telling him the jokes are good is gonna go a long way right yeah no he wants to feel like these are good jokes it's hilarious But yeah, can we keep it to the more like can we keep it to lunch? Can we keep it whatever like yeah, this is pretty stressful I'm really doing with a lot like let's keep that till after fact cuz it also seems like she's pretty she's friends with them Right didn't he get her the job like it's your friend. You're like, hey, can we fuck around after? Can you just send me text messages? Yeah, exactly you send me? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that can actually roll me.

That's all I say. This is like a classic... This is like a... Just say it, man. Brand down. Lower your mic. I'll just type to try to be clandestine about it. But you always pick funny times to do it, too.

There's never a good time. There's talking all the way through. I don't know. tried to be clandestine about it. But you always pick funny times to do it too. There's never a good time. There's talking all the way through. I don't know, man. Fuck you. Whatever. You know when is the good time?

The in between. But I guess you're doing stuff in the in between. He's like, he feels like, this feels like a guy who's sending the like COVID big penis guy. Oh, absolutely. Hey, look. A fake. Again, we're like COVID big penis guy. Yeah, absolutely. Hey look, again, we're a COVID penis guy. Good stuff. Yeah.

The first time that happened to me, I was like, that's for you. It was very, the first time. That's good, man. But when somebody said to you 10 days after it went around, you're like, shut up. Enough of this already. I've seen it. It's funny. His penis is dead.

Stop. I'm salivating every time he sends to me. So I get work done. I's funny. It's penis. Stop. I'm salivating every time you send this to me So I get work done. Save the image to my phone. Yeah, but good luck. This literally is a classic just have a conversation with the person. Yeah, you're already friends with him He probably on some level knows you're better at your job than him. You know what I mean? You're like hey man funny stuff. It's just make it and don't Don't even you don't even have to have like a judgment on him just be like it's making it hard for you can even be like this these bitches so good it's

making it hard for me to concentrate yeah too funny this is like very easy conflict resolution hey doesn't see this guy seems like a bit of a like worst case there you might hurt his feelings a little bit. Like he seems like sensitive, but he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would push back, you know what I mean? Yeah. But, yeah, we'll see. Yeah. Hopefully it goes good, let us know.

This guy is, this guy is in the comment section saying, I'm gay. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, he probably is. Maybe he's all the time. That's a really good point. That's what she comments on. That's what she comments on. Yeah. yeah he probably is that's a really good point that's a really good point that's what she called in so he'll see that's right

yeah, stop me taking funny this girl's a genius man she's playing 4d just she knows this guy's listening yeah stop me baby, hope you LB and the guests are doing well I think my lap went on a little long before I do it quicker. I apologize. I just want to get your opinion on the situation I'm currently in.

I graduated with my bachelor's degree last May and I finally got my ass into a master's program a couple weeks ago. It's been a little tough because I got my bachelor's through COVID. So I didn't make a lot of academic connections needed for master's degrees, applications and whatnot. But I finally got into one. So since I graduated, I had to start paying my student loans back. They were quite expensive monthly, so my dad had helped me out. I was pitching about 300 a month, he said, he covered the rest. to help me out. I was pitching about 300 a month. He said he covered the rest.

Nice. Came to find out a few days ago when I got an urgent call from Sally May that my dad has not paid it in about almost three months. And I've still been giving him the money for it the last few months. So I don't know what the fuck happened there, but I had to pay extra money towards it. So my credit score wouldn't be you know hit as hard as it already fucking has Really I haven't checked my credit score For yesterday earlier this year. Hey, look getting help from your dad is one thing He pays them for you. He logs on and pays it for you and you give him money. What the fuck?

I mean, you're a fucking idiot. Like that's something. It's embarrassing to be like, daddy takes care of my loans. It's one thing if you like, look, he gives you a chunk of money, whatever, but it's like, you don't even log in and press the buttons, motherfucker.

Like he's sending the money to his dad. Yeah. The dad should be sending the money to you. Dude, you need to believe in your dad's parlays, okay? That's what I'm saying. That's true. You need to believe in your dad's parlays. Okay, that's Fucking faith in your dad is really funny that he's basically anyway, let's finish it before I start making any more judgments There's like 680 something it was okay I'm in the 480s now. So my chick got crushed

I Don't know how to feel I'm kind of upset with my dad because he was behind. I mean, I think money was just a little tough. But I don't know why he wouldn't tell me so I could try to help out. Now I'm in a shitty situation. So I'm kind of upset with him, but at the same time, he was trying his best. So it's hard for me to be upset

when the talent tent wasn't there. But I don't know, man. What do you think? I don't know much about credit rebuilding so am I fucked? Or what man? No, let it all go to collections. Welcome to show, hope to see you live soon. Take care of that.

You don't talk to them for like months and then you just say like oh I can pay like a little bit and then it's gone. Yep, smart. Yeah. It just sits there. Yeah, it just sits there. Yeah, it just sits there. It just gets moved around until it's like a scent that you owe.

I would say, here's what I would say. I would say set fire to your car. Get a skeleton. Put your license and your cell phone. You're going to lose a little teeth if you do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick a couple teeth to put out there. One of the shitty ones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just say it and then fake your own death Move to the Caribbean. Oh, yeah You go the dollar stretches a long way have your dad pay back the 900 bucks He finessed you for starting you starting you life in Haiti. You're good, bro You're gonna have to shit outside, but you'll be the fucking you'll be the king of the village Yeah, I mean look, you can absolutely be, there's a couple things going on here. Number one is, hey man,

like a guy whose parents pay, I just don't respect anyone whose parents pay for their loans personally. What if the dad is like the guarantor or something and he's just like as implicated as this kid is anyway. Well, I think what's yeah, probably what's going on here is that like look this is the No, you like parents aren't don't pay for your shit necessarily right he was doing something nice Now having said that Having said that he did say he was gonna do something nice for you and he didn't in a way that fucked you up

So you're you are you're well within your rights to be like what the fuck dad? Why didn't you tell me like look? I appreciate the help if it was if money was getting too tight and I'm on my own That's fine. Just let me know so that my fucking my credit score doesn't get fucked up Right like you're you're more than okay to be like that you fucked me here What the fuck was this and if he's like like, hey, I paid X amount of months, you'd be like, I know, but I could have handled this myself. You should have just told me now my credit score is fucked up.

You're mad at him for that, right? That's what you're mad at him for. So you're okay being mad at him, but it's like, yeah. Now you just, you know, you kind of have to do it yourself. What day was this call placed? Is this recent? Yeah, it's pretty recent. So buddy, all I'm gonna say is wait until Christmas Does that money that money you've been sending them? It's probably going towards like coke freestyle machine

Really fucking cool. Yeah, but definitely talk to your dad. I mean, it's crazy to say I'm not gonna talk to my dad about this Like this is insane and he owes you it sounds like $900 like this is insane and he owes you it sounds like $900.00. $900.00 that's like a PS5 couple games. Your Christmas is about to be amazing. That is true. That would be really funny if he's like son I'm spoiling you with his own money. But yeah dude look I don't know what to tell you you're kind of a dumbass for getting a master's right now and taking out loans. Unless it's for something like is it is it for something that you automatically start making money? It's pretty funny to be a guy that's like,

I'm gonna take on college debt now. Like, when everybody knows it's bullshit. But whatever, you're kind of dumb, your dad's kind. Your dad's probably ashamed of not being able to cover it. It sounds like shame, but it's still, that's the way a baby acts. Like, you just hope no one notices He just didn't make the payments. It was hoping you weren't gonna figure it out. Anyway, I don't know

You're kind of dumb you're depending on your dumb dad too much and It's okay to be like gay you fucked me pop while still being grateful for the good stuff. He did do But yeah, you're fine. You're just gonna start paying your shit back It's okay. You could go to collections whatever or you could you know play the game and suck Suck the financial masters dick and just you know go back to making regular payments your credit will bounce back Oh, yeah, that's not real none of it's really anything. It's not real none of it is real. It'll yeah, it'll all go away So there yeah None of it is real. It'll all go away. It's there. What happened with the student debt? Oh, it was like $8.8 million and like unpaid.

And then they were like, never mind. I don't know what happened. I don't fucking know. Where like people's debt went away. I don't gotten that debt, man. Came back. Shout out to the University of Maryland Baltimore County's Sondheim Scholars Program. Yeah, when they gave me a public affairs scholarship, this is probably what they thought their money would go towards.

God damn, I'm probably literally the most successful alum. And it's like, for fucking giving people bad advice and doing crowd work clips All right Stop Good related question here for you Pian say isn't really that much of a foodie Just as happy with the fucking bologna sandwich and late

Perfectly Cook chicken breasts with like all rotten potatoes and some It says all rotten She does like like I love to cook intricate things and take my time on dishes that are worth the time. How do I get her to... Or maybe she's just not interested, but I'm trying to get her more into the fine dining world. What's the way to do that? into the fine dining world.

How do I, what's the way to do that? You think there's a way? She just doesn't like to, she thinks the idea of spending a lot of money on food is stupid when you could just be phelone and be fine. I like, I like this cause, my wife like baloney Yeah, I mean look what do you want some people are how they are, bro Yeah, if she really doesn't like you know if you love her that's fine that she baloney sandwich Yeah, that sounds annoying. We made a little lonely to yeah Elders you had a point for guys. I think he could like try cooking with her or something. Yeah true Wait Patrick Swayze ghosts do it like that or like when you're teaching a beautiful woman to golf

Yeah And start basic, you know what I mean like by the way by the way cook chicken breast and potatoes are grating You could get that at a fucking college Example Find Some kind of good Potatoes and the craziest Yeah, that is crazy that he's like yeah, I mean dude I would just start with like a fancier for a slightly better version of the shit She likes yeah, take her to go to a nice deli go even get like a burrow like a chick like a fried chicken

Like one of those kind of more high-end like just start small Like like I remember the first time I tried suit I was scared of sushi and I I just had like cooked rolls the first time I tried sushi, I was scared of sushi and I just had like cooked rolls. The first time I like took my mom to get like sushi too when I was like, you know, oh, this shit's cooked mom and she just got used to the idea of like rice and fish or whatever. And you just kind of kind of like, you know,

slowly be a little more adventurous. And also, you have to make it clear this is something you're into, you know? Like, you're not clearly, you're never gonna get her interested in this, but it sounds like it's important to you to go have nice meals and go out and whatever. And so this is gonna be-

The first middle class sushi experience does feel so- Cosmopolitan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's in a strip mall. I'm some kind of jet setter, city slicker. Dude, totally. Oh my God. Sushi was great. I was like, yeah It's fucking wrong. Yeah, are you fucking?

I know it's so funny to think about how trash I grew up. Well, I'm on God fear factor Good like I really had never had any cuisine any like different quasi, I never had tacos until I was like 19. Like I didn't need like I had like pizza, Chinese food and Greek food. That's like the same year you lost your virginity, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like everything changed for me like in my early 20s where I was like, oh, we had raw, remember you took me to a ramen place actually.

Oh, yeah. Like an actual ramen place. Oh, in DC. Yeah, yeah. Tokyo underground. I was literally like, uh, we had raw remember you took me to a ramen place actually. Oh, yeah, like an actual Yeah, yeah, Tokyo. I was like, I was literally like what the fuck is this? Yeah It's just like let's go get ramen and I was like, I was like that's fucking weird the rest I just thought it was like some weird like shit random was they give you like Top rom top. I was like slightly elevated top ramen. Yeah, and then we get there. I'm like, what? I was like, what top ramen. Yeah, and then we get there. I'm like what Like what the fuck is this thousands of years of tradition Beautiful deep broth if fucking it lost my I lost my mind. I was like this is fucking awesome So yeah, dude also the thing you're gonna have to realize is like

You're hoping because you also in your mind is like you take a girl out to a nice meal and she owes you. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of you you scoring points. That's what you think. No, no, no. I don't think like that. She owes you sex. The second you spend over $11 on a woman, she owes you at least to touch your penis for a second. No, but he's trying, like, you know what I mean. It's like, he thinks going out to a nice restaurant is like counts as like scoring points with your significant other, right?

You're, unfortunately, she's flipped the script on you. And that is not the case. And you were hoping a thing you like to do would also like make your girlfriend like really, do would also like get make your girlfriend like really um it would also like it be a win-win you're having a good time she's having a good time now he's realizing if he wants to go out have a nice meal it's almost like she's doing something nice for him right you know what I mean like yeah like this is just not how your girl operates bro and so you're just gonna have to realize like,

she's gonna be gutting out of her comfort zone to go do something nice for you. Is this the only like incongruity in this relationship? Like do they have shared values and they laugh the same thing? Since just like she likes baloney sandwiches. And like she likes fancy chicken and potatoes. I think you guys can, I think it sounds, I think you should love your wife Yeah, like any like much fancy chicken and potatoes

Thank you should love your wife and be grateful for what you have I agree man. Yeah. Yeah, can I pee real good? Yeah, sure. We'll do one more anyway Don't did I say you could take your phone now he's going in there to rub We're gonna jack off to fuck brain and keep going. Okay up in giant boobs picture Yeah, Google image that is good stuff Clicking gif and then wait it's bouncing up and down Hey dog eldest Guess I come to you in a time of need. Sounds like a night. So I have a girlfriend who I like a lot.

I really enjoy dating her. There's a little bit of a tricky situation because we dated for a couple months like last year and then it broke up and then got back together I think like six or seven months later and it's been great since then. Recently she saw that I had sent a few flirty text messages or not text, uh, to a girl that I had had kind of a flirty thing with before we dated, uh, during the time that we were broken up. And, uh, she is really mad about it, which I kind of get. I understand why, but it's like every single conversation we have that's the only thing that she talks about and tries to like I guess

Belittle me for it and make me feel bad And I want to be sensitive to how she feels but I feel like it's a little excessive because we weren't together at the time. I want to fuck. And also like yeah I don't know I feel like that one's not really on me. But how do I smooth things over or make it so that she will kind of understand that it's not a big deal. So I'm not sure how to approach that. Any advice would be super welcome.

Thanks, guys. Well, if it's somebody that he's still talking to or hangs out with, I can get that. Yeah. But I don't think that's the case. No, to catch you up, Brandon, very quickly. This guy was dating a girl for a couple months They break up and like six months later. They get back together Everything's going good and then she she she sees on his phone. She's snooping on his

She switches we have a phone. She's on his phone, which is weird number one But it's like I what I'm guessing is You know a couple of DMs between a girl that he said, kind of a flirty thing before we dated during the time that we were broken up. So kind of a flirty thing, did you even fuck this girl? If you didn't fuck her, then it's like, I would not even be, I would be like, I don't want to hear this. I DMed someone while we weren't together.

Like, for you to even take this bitch seriously right now is wrong like and you know like and this is crazy like it even if you had fucked the different girls like we weren't together you're on a break and you can yeah he class it on a break yeah he had some flirty dm's on a break like jail time for him yeah that's why you called in so we we could catch you we're gonna trace your number back traces number eldest Right now we're gonna send him a letter bomb It's gonna blow up at his house So like look you have to

To even humor her about like the fact this keeps getting brought up is insane number one Why does she know that why did she see your old DMs provided their old if it's like? You have notifications on for a girl that you were trying to fuck while you guys weren't together and you still text her Yes, you're completely in the wrong, but it doesn't seem like what's going on here No, this was these are DMs that were sent during and off period. Yes, so look There's no you got I'm gonna tell you like this. Please gotta sit it down. You gotta be like, yeah, listen you silly hoe Listen you silly hoe. That's really good. You better talk right. Yeah, you better talk right to me or don't don't talk to me at all That's so silly hoe. That's good. That's what you gotta say, man

That's what you have to say. You took the words right at him. This is and look we're a very we're not we're not a red-pilled podcast here, but this is a textbook control yo bitch situation What the fuck are you talking about? Like I texted a DM the girl a couple times while we weren't together for six months I'm not even having this. I don't you know, we were we weren't together like I know and I know this isn't a red pill It kind of podcast but what if what if we did one of those podcasts where it's just like we get like 10 strippers We get like 10 strippers are like only fans girls Whatever we just like fucking destroy them with logic

Direction like the other time square guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love those guys They're like yeah, we're gonna get hot girls and debate them. It's like what a fucking loser Yeah, you have a bunch of hot girls and you're not gonna try and get so fresh I'm thinking of oh, it's's the black one is fresh and fit. The white one is whatever. Yeah, it's called whatever. Whatever. Yeah, it's called whatever. Whoa. Yeah, because they do whatever.

Yeah, they mostly do one thing. The show could have been whatever. They could have had anything on there. They're like, no, we got to make these OF bitches look dumb. We got to humiliate horse. Yeah. It's crazy. What's a nice triangle? They're like no we got to make these OF bitches look yeah, we got a humiliate horse It's crazy. What's a nice triangle you stupid slut? It's the whole fucking yeah, yeah That one the one guy who's like the one why guys like super smoke in his like oh, yeah

He has like a I think like a trad wife like a Catholic wife Oh, I think you're talking about the little boy who? Did the game of words? Oh? I don't know. Oh, oh 14 the boy. Yeah, the Bill Clinton thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? His thing now. He says he's debating these of girls. He does wait. Here's the little boy. We talking about his names like I Don't remember it starts with an M red-pilled teenager

This is very crazy. You just search where eldest Searched I don't eldest the base pedophile. I Don't give a fuck this much eldest Yeah, whatever dude. This is crazy and look if it keeps coming up over and over again Then like you can't date this girl. Yeah, like like I've been in a relationships where shit from the past Just hadn't healed and it kind of fucked up and it like we were on again off again And we tried to have a good relationship and it was pretty good for a while But it became clear that you know we both of us weren't over different aspects of old shoot, right?

And it just kind of doomed another wise good relationship. And that can happen. Now I'll say the person, your current girlfriend has no leg to stand on. And if she keeps bringing up and making you feel bad, you just have to be like, hey, you have to stop talking about this. We weren't together.

I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. This feels manipulative at this point. Absolutely. It's like a fucking, like she's bringing it up so that to like bring you like down a peg kind of. Yeah, for sure. And so bring it up, try and control yo bitch. And if it doesn't work, this might not be the girl for you.

You did nothing wrong. You did literally nothing wrong, provided we're reading the situation correctly. And these are old texts. So yeah, that's it, dude. Good luck, little buddy. We believe in you. Anyway, folks, I mean, Brandon has to go, you know, we talked about his podcast, Gay Sex University. The Brandon Jamele show is on my. There's actually a gay sex symposium he has to attend across town and so yes we have he has a hard out one minute ago but go listen to the art

we do have another friend Jamel Johnson who has a podcast yes friend called the Jamel show I think check out the Brandon Jamel show and then check out Patrick's little adventures podcast about list Different city every single week. Oh, I love that week. I'm gonna be in Trenton, New Jersey Figure now what goes on there. That's awesome. They're all just like the closest Somewhere that costs like three dollars round trip Congratulations boys, let's pump those numbers up folks. Let's get those numbers up. Let's suck those numbers off. Thank you for listening and we will see you guys next time. Bye bye. Thank you for having me.