Stavvy's World - #63 - Paul Virzi

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

Paul Virzi joins the pod to discuss his contrarian Italian dad, his Greek grandma's reaction when she realized her daughter's husband is Sicilian, his favorite era of rap music, parenting, and much more. Paul and Stav help callers including a man who has a deep contempt for the woman he's dating, and a guy who's girlfriend skipped the country after he proposed to her. Murder your thirst with Liquid Death! Visit https://www.LiquidDeath.com/STAVVY to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. Check out Paul Virzi's comedy and go to his special taping at The Den Theatre in Chicago on Feb. 24! See all tix and info at https://paulvirzi.com/ Follow Paul Virzi on social media: https://twitter.com/PaulVirzi https://www.facebook.com/paulvirzi/ https://www.instagram.com/paulvirzi/ https://www.youtube.com/@ThePaulVirzi  Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Welcome everybody to Stavis World. 904-800-STOP. Colin, we'll solve all your problems. We got our pal, my buddy Paul Verzi in the studio. Thanks for coming, Paul. Thank you for having me. Of course, thanks for making the drive from the Burbs to beautiful Astoria Queens. Yes, sir.

Yep, yep. Yeah, we go back, Eldis, you don't know, me and, I mean, I think I was, one time I hosted a show that you featured at, that's how far back we go, remember? You, Mugubis. Mugubis, I believe. Mugubis way back in the day. I believe I was, I was, 10 years ago. 10 years ago, I believe. Joe Matarice.

I was featuring for Joe Matarice, Joe was like, watch this kid stop, cause the joke that we love, the joke that we talk about. And I've told every one of my friends, every one of my friends from every level of comic, and it's the joke you had when you were like, this chick was breaking up with me,

and while she's breaking up with me, I'm just thinking to myself, you know what, good for her. Good for her, yeah, yeah. And that was when I was like, all right, dude, this kid gets it. Thanks, man. And then we went to, then you were cool, because you were like this young comic, and you were just like, yeah, go smoke a cigar. Yeah, yeah, we were just cigar bars. And we smoked cigars, and then we went to, then you were cool because you were like this young comic

and you were just like, yeah, I'll go smoke a cigar. Yeah, yeah, we were just cigar bar. And we smoked cigars and then we walked to that shoe mall. That was fun. The owner was pissed because I was, you know, I'm the shitty local opener who needs to be there on time. And he's like, where the hell are you? He's like, we need to start the show. The feature and the headliner on here, I was like, yeah, I'm actually, I'm in a car with, they're in my car, I'm the one who's late. I'm bringing the whole show, he hated me that weekend.

I just come strolling in, do my 10 minutes of dick jokes poorly, and he's like, oh, what was he gonna do? Doc my $50 a show? Then he was paying me. It's really ridiculous. Have you been back or no? I've been back, I did a Halloween, this is the last time I was there. I did a Halloween show during the pandemic.

One of the worst shows I've ever done in my life. It wasn't MacGooby's fault. I don't know, in my head I was like, well, no one's going to go out and party. Maybe they'll go to a comedy show. I don't know why the fuck I thought that. Because remember there was that weird time where we were sort of doing shows in 2020. It was like October 2020. Yeah, there was like, it was a little lull in the COVID. So you could go. Because remember there was that weird time where we were sort of doing shows in 2020. It was like October 2020.

Yeah, there was like, it was a little lull in the COVID. So you could go. Because you could go. Because everybody was doing outdoor shows. Yeah. And then people started booking like weird. But yeah, dude, a weird COVID half filled room in Halloween. On Halloween is like. Weirdos dressed up. Dude, if you could, if you could combine the worst scenario for a comedy show, that might literally be it.

Sometimes. It was horrendous. And you know what's funny is, But I love the club, I wanna go back when I'm gonna spend some time with Baltimore. You know, sorry Andrew. You need a place to work when you're home. Andrew, I feel like an asshole, he keeps texting me.

He's like, I was at the, I'm like doing a theater there. And he's like, dude, you should tack on Magoobies to the lyric theater. It's like, I'm not doing that. I'm not, I'm going, I'm not gonna fucking do that. I will do, I'll come back. Cause I do, Magoobies is a special place in my heart. Cause I really started there.

I won a like, you know, I won like new comedian of the year that helped me, they got me a lot of spots. I met a lot of, I would go hang out. Like that's how we became friends. That's how I became friends with Bobby. So, I will come to your club, Andrew. I'm sorry for saying the show was horrendous on Halloween 2020.

But it is funny where you could even be like a comedian on the way up a name and just pick the wrong day. Like you could be like, no, I think it'll be. It'll be fun. It'll be Christmas. They love me, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's like, no, I think it'll be. It'll be fun. It'll be Christmas, dude, they love me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's like, no, they're gonna see you when it's not Christmas.

Whoa, Paul, quiet down. It's me from the future in a different shirt. Here to murder your thirst. Oh, hell yeah. That's right, thank you to our sponsor, Liquid Death. It's not a soda or some, all right, well, it's not some mountain spring water low sugar soda They do have that and low sugar ice these two it's not a beer or a fucking energy drink or something like that It's actually a delicious soft drink. I'm having the armless Palmer right now

Go to dub go to liquid death comm Stavi, check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. That's liquiddeath.com slash Stavi. Liquiddeath.com slash Stavi. Ah, and I've had it work the other way where it was like, we did Easter Sunday in And it was actually great really it was great. Yeah, cuz like my fuck my fans aren't oh, yeah You're heathens Yeah Yeah, it's not creaky yeah, and it's not you know how big how much of your fan base is Greek

It's not a big percentage or not really we get a nice We get it I think there's like every city we go go to, some Greeks will turn up. And I think it's kind of growing. Greeks are front runners. When they see you doing well, they're like, oh, this guy's awesome, you know? They love, when they see a Greek out there,

because all they're looking for is like ammo when they're having like a minor race war with, like a verbal race war with their friends. Like they just want to tick off the boxes. And if I can be, if I get famous enough where I'm a bullet point where it's like, you know, where they bring me up in a conversation against Italians.

Name a Greek comic, you know? You stop your fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they want. Cause like my material isn't really, there's comics who do Greek shit. And I don't, I do some, but I just do it in a way that comes up naturally.

Not in like a, there's people who literally would like tour Greek festival You're not a Greek comic. Yes, like you're not a touring. I say that during this I don't make it all about my ethnicity where it's a bit. I know what I'm doing folks. Yeah, he's got statues Podcasting yes my act no my act is much more about how little my penis is. You know what's funny though is the first time another comedian that I'm close with is is Janis Popp is one of my closest friends and Janis and I when we first started talking at a Christmas party at Caroline's and we're having this nice talk when he found out my mother was 100% Greek. Yeah, he is I saw in his eyes

He instantly liked me better. Yes, absolutely. He instantly liked me better. Yes Yes, all of a sudden he was wait wait your mother's I go my mother's 100% Greek Yeah, just like all of a sudden it was like Greeks love it. They do love it even though you're pretty Italian coded I'm done. Well, you're pretty like you know what I mean? It's like your dad was a it was and it was it was over It's such a dad was a, it was, and it's, it's, it's, it's such a, we're similar like people. So if you really like one or the other, you could have gone either way.

Well, you know what, I, you went Italian. I wanted to know why, cause to be honest, everybody, everybody, Paul, why did you go, so my father just embedded in me and my brother's head, that's the Sicilians were the greatest people on earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

What did I say about Greeks? The same thing with Italians. But! Everything is a, a verbal race war. See, here's the thing. My mother was the oldest daughter of two. And my Greek grandmother, Mayaia, was very hard on her. So my mother rebelled against it.

So in my Greek... Wow, all the way to Italy. Is she really? Yeah. Yeah, and when my Sicilian grandparents went to my Greek grandparents for the first time, my Greek grandmother, Maya, she went into a room and they couldn't find her and my mother found her crying. She saw the Italian and she just was like,

cause it was like a heartbreaking thing. They've massacred my grandchildren or wops. She started crying. They should be eating Zanziki, not marinara sauce. That's exactly right. My mom was like, why are you crying? That's how racist Greek people are. Racist Greeks are racist. sauce Italian was too foreign for your grandmother. Oh my god

They went 20 miles by boat to Sicily. I mean pull up a fucking map eldest Yeah, you would have thought that it was a whole other culture map elders look up look up distance you fucking dunce Greek Sicily on map what a what a great producer you are eldest what do we have it's you know well that's the middle of Greece. Whatever, you get it, folks, it's close. All right, whatever, fucked a bit, we get it. But it's right there. It is right there. Right there, right there, you can take a boat ride. It's on the same itinerary of a cruise.

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So it's like you could go on, we're gonna be, it's a stop on the cruise. You go to Sicily and Greece on the same cruise within a day, you're there. Yeah, yeah, that's so funny. And go to Sicily and Greece on the same cruise within a day, you're there. Yeah, yeah. That's so funny. And my Greek grandparents were devastated.

Yeah. My mom was like, why are you in here crying? Like they're in the living room already to eat. Just imagine what, I mean, look, we don't even have to say black guy. We know what would have happened. She would have hung herself. But just imagine if it was even like a Swedish,

or like I don't even know, a quarter Mexican guy what she would have done They love it they're very dramatic people I don't know if you experienced that but it's like my grandparents would talk about dying all the time talk about killing themselves They would talk about how well the time, talk about killing themselves. They would talk about how, well, one day when I'm not here, they love, my dad would do that shit too, where he would kind of elude the killing himself. And it's like, oh nice, that's cool dude.

I'm nine, but that's a lot to deal with right now. There's also a neurotic-ness. Greeks are neurotic. They worry and Anything that my grandmother, my Greek grandmother would see bad on the news, like a baby falling down the stairs getting killed, that's going to happen. You can't go outside. And it was just like the worst of the worst. And my mom starting to a little bit have that. Yeah, oh yeah, it'll happen. It'll definitely happen. So wait, so you, where were your parents parents? Where your parents from? They were the Bronx right outside the Bronx. Yeah, so yeah, right

The Bronx and then Yonkers, which is basically the same neighbor. They grew up in the same there Bronx and Yonkers is like right there Yeah, that's that's where they went to Lincoln High School and Yeah, two years older like I guess high school sweethearts got married Did it back when it was like my mother had my brother when she was 22, right? She had me when she was 27 like that's unheard of now. Yeah you know, did it back when it was like my mother had my brother when she was 22. Right, right. She had me when she was 27, like that's unheard of now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. 27 for, yeah, absolutely.

27 now is like, I'm like, you're a baby. What are you getting married for? Yeah, I remember, dude, when I was young, I remember we went to my dad's, I mean, we went to my best friend's dad's 40th birthday. Yeah. And I was like, this fuck is old. Yeah.

This fuck is gonna die, you know what I mean? Now 40 is like, somebody says they're 40, you're like, was like, this fuck is old. Yeah. This fuck is gonna die though. You know what I mean? Now 40 is like, somebody says they're 40, you're like, oh dude, you're still, you know. Even in comedy, like you see some of the comics that are like, they're like, oh yeah, 51, and you're going like, yeah, 30 years, man, and you're going, wow.

A little bit of that is we don't wanna admit world. Yes. A little bit of that is that, we're like, oh dude, now you can be 60 years. You're basically a little kid. A little bit of that is that. We're like, oh dude, now you can be 60 years. You're basically a little kid. A little bit of that is that, right? But also I do feel like there's a generational thing of like, everything's delayed.

No one can afford to buy a house. So it's like the idea that you would be in a stable relationship at 23 is unheard of. Because at 23 you got student loans. Dude, in the 1950s you could buy like a Cadillac and get a house and kind of afford it Without like kind of have a normal. That's why they were dressed nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, actually everybody had a suit on Yeah, yeah, you had money to burn like the yeah the closets then were beautiful suits now

It's like Dick's Sporting good There's a lot of track suits in that closet over there, I'll tell you that much That is a lot. That's and that closet over there. I'll tell you that much. That is a lot. That's and that is my those are my finest clothes. But yeah, there's definitely a generational thing too of like, yeah, dude, it's just like nobody like eldest just got married 34, like, you know, our friends. Yeah, a lot of our friends like who even were getting married like when Christina got married when she was like your age, I too, like a couple years ago, like mid-30s, and look, all my friends are also,

everybody moved to New York. Definitely you could go to where I grew up, it's like where people stayed, but even they are delaying it a little bit, like the people who would have gotten, had kids at 22, they're having it at 26, 27, you know, like everything's pushed back a little bit. It's tough, sorry to go. No, no, no, no, I was just gonna say, but I also think the way we're doing it at 26 27 you know like everything is pushed back a little yeah and I it's tough sorry no no no I was just gonna say but I also think the

way we're doing it is better like getting married at 34 you're kind of a little more wise and you're kind of like you know listen don't get me wrong grandparents my grandparents dated like twice and just were together yeah yeah which is not that's a great point what the fuck did they know they had no life experience. These are children they got together, and then were like, well, these people have to listen to me. They won't realize I have no,

no, I haven't lived that much life until they're 40. I didn't even think about that. You're right. What do these people know to tell you about who to end up with? They fuck, the first woman he fingered he married, I gotta listen to this guy? You guys know the fuck he's saying I do have wisdom my grammar is no shit yeah plus there were no like tick-tock horse yeah never

tempted by that I see no technology to tempt them yeah dude I see women every day I see four women a day that my grandfather would have killed his village to sniff her pussy Like not even like I like types of women that he does his brain wouldn't know what to do with like a ticked a half Chinese half Argentinian girl with double double G breasts. He said would explode He would be like is this an alien he would he was this he would literally be like is this a Demon that the Lord sent to tempt me. He would have like that is not even close to what a woman is They wouldn't know what to do with the women we see every day yeah, and it's so schizophrenic Dude because I'll be like crying watching like a little kid with leukemia meet Spider-Man.

And then it's like I just see a woman's nipples right afterwards. And I'm just like, it's fucked up. Dude, we are living in the weirdest. It's, it'll fuck with your brain. Dude, you're so right. Our villager grandparents would have no idea what to do. Would have no idea what to do with this situation. They really wouldn't do it.

Like, and you're right, because I watched like because I watched the animal ones, I get sad. Animals just fucked me up. I see a golden retriever run up and protect a baby, and I'm crying, and then the next thing you know, dude, there's just some chick with her ass up, and you're going like, and then there's an alien in the mall? Yeah, yeah.

Listen, you know what I said the other day on stage? I was like, I remember being a kid, and having our parents go, listen to my parents go like, man, times are, the world's crazy. And I'm like, fuck you, don't play in Nintendo. It's like the world's not that crazy. Like now, we sound like-

It wasn't crazy back then. It wasn't crazy back then. But like now when you go on, and I also think social media is part of why- We also know more, you know what? The world was crazy, but they were wrong about what was crazy about it. You know what I mean?

Like shit was fucked up, shit was going on in South America. Our government was fucking shit up. But they weren't watching countries bomb hospitals. No, I'm talking about, do you think in the 60s and 50s, people were masturbating to completion on the L train? I don't know about that. Maybe one guy.

Maybe like one guy that was just outcast as a fucking put in the L train. I don't know about that. Maybe one guy. Maybe like one guy that was just outcast as a fucking put in the same asylum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like now I just feel like it's just, I feel like it's almost not anarchy, but this is the wildest shit. There were definitely more social codes I feel like. Like there was more like, you know,

Morels is it safe to say a little more? Is it moral? Yeah, I would, I don't know. I guess, is it morality or is it like stricter rules and almost unwritten manners almost? Like I feel like there was a thing of like, ah, Jesus Christ, if you saw a guy doing that in the 50s, you'd be like, what now, what the hell are you doing?

They're a chap, people would stop him. And then I think the 60s, there was like, that's why everybody, we think of hippies and shit as like, who cares, it's long-haired guys doing drugs, but like, they came right at, there's a reason they came right after all that strict shit where no one was, I do think there was a huge break culturally.

And that makes me really think about it, because you're right, before that, no. You're right, in the 50s, no one was doing that kind of shit. In the 50s, if my grandfather's friend got caught jerking off on a train my grandfather would say to my wife like I mean to his wife like dude I can't believe what George did like I never see him again we can never talk to George yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah He had a fucking mind in Baltimore. If Eldis, Eldis' brain had a fucking, had a fucking like mental breakdown and pulled his cock out in public, that would be one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

I would talk about it to him for the rest of his life. It would be all, I would buy him like a, I would, I would go photograph the train he jerked off on and have a miniatures artist make an exact replica and give it and just put it on my mantle and be like you see that eldest Bobby Kelly snapped in a star Face and start to beat somebody yeah, it would be the great Bobby had a little mouth that Bobby gets mad sometimes. Yeah, it would be great You know back then it was I got you'd actually nailed it stop

It's manners people had manners and there was a little bit more of a code and it was more like we're just going to behave like this and then it goes radically the other way. Then it goes now the drugs, now the sleeping outside, the long hair, fuck you, licking the mud. Woodstock. Yeah, literally woodstock, literally shit like that. And for bet, you know, there's obviously, there is good shit about that stuff obviously, but there's obviously a ton of, it's so restrictive if If you don't fall into that code, you, you know,

then you were fucked. But, you know, I also don't wanna, I don't wanna live in the 50s. I definitely, I don't wanna live in the 60s. You know, that's looked, you know, you know, I mean, I guess it was before AIDS. So they were, they were raw dogging, and that's kind of fun.

That you're, you know, the worst thing that could happen is you get a little gonorrhea. You get a little pill. But I'm telling you thing, you know, nobody's dick smelled good. Nobody's, what do you think Woodstock pussy smelled like? You think it smelled good? There's no way.

I don't think a lot of people are wearing Aqua de Geo, like in Woodstocks. Yeah. I love that stuff. You can tell there's an Italian from New York that that's your like symbol for what smells good. This Aqua de Geo, like the freshest scent I could come up with. from New York that that's your like symbol for what smells good. This is awkward to you. Like the freshest scent I could come up with.

I'm like, what the georausal rent? I'm a kid who likes to squirt here and there. Yeah, dude, come on man. But yeah, no, I don't know. I mean, that is a good point. And that was shit. But at the same time though, the thing I try and remember is that every generation

truly feels the world is about to end. Every generation felt that, like, so I do feel that way, right, but in the same way that I can realize, like, as you're getting older, you know, shit younger generations are doing seems, seems a little weird to me sometimes, but I have to remember that has happened every time and you don't want to be the old guy who's like these kids are fucked up.

You know like wherever we are, history shows you that you are, you will become an old out-of-touch man if you don't just admit like this isn't for me, but this is probably the way the world is going. And that's the same way I try and remind myself like But this is probably the way the world is going. And that's the same way I try and remind myself, like existence, the world, humanity is bigger than me. The next, these kids that I don't quite understand, they will think the world is ending. Now, climate change, Trump probably gonna be president again, Israel's doing whatever the fuck they want

in the Middle East. The middle of a war going on. Middle of a war, maybe we do have a little bit of a better case than, at least in the 90s and 90s were awesome. Those motherfuckers, oh Slavodan Milosevic, who gives a fuck? Some Serbs were killing each other. That was the biggest thing going on.

That 10 years before 9-11 bro, sweetest part of America. Oh do I remember 92, 90-2, hip hop, acyclyte, The dream team fucking Every fucking basketball by 70. Yeah, it was just yeah, it was great Nintendo was just you called the night That's nice. Yeah, I was I'm just I'm a little young in you and I was I was like a you know toddler I was for whatever that must have been nice Biggie comes out Illmatic comes out. I'm in fucking ninth grade. Yes, dude. Yeah, it was nuts Oh my god, every car was just bumping with either snoop dog big think about this snoop dog biggie Tupac, yeah, then you had like onyx. That's a nice time Tang yeah, you had all the hip hop like was really starting to you know

And then you had the hip then it started to get a little weird with the West Coast, East Coast in like the late 90s. Sure, sure, sure. Well, that stuff, but that time was like, yeah, there was really no. That's awesome. That's an awesome, I'd be a teenager. There was no conflicts unless like, you know, like Chris Rutwin Clinton didn't want any heat on him.

Yeah. He would be like, yeah, I was going to Bosnia real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's blow these motherfuckers up a little bit. Yeah, but no, it was easier. Now I do worry that, you know, I'm really glad I'm in the woods. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you are. And I really am glad that my kids are protected from some of the shit that they see online.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see about that. We'll see about that, Paul. Oh, Yannis called me up and he goes, dude, man, I hope they don't come up here. I hope people aren't coming up because they were talking about people moving up. And I'm going, listen, people are gonna constantly move up, but we're like away.

Yeah, yeah. How old are your kids now? How old were you when you had kids? I was 30, I was 30. That's nice, that's good. Yeah, I was 30. My little girl, we were in a car yesterday, and I like some of my kids' rap music.

I like some of it, but some of it I don't like. And how old was the weight? How old are your kids now? My little girl's 11, my little girl's 14. Damn, really? Holy shit. Yeah, that shows you how long we've been friends, because how long ago that was,

you were doing bits about changing her diaper. You like that? You know, I was doing a bit about wiping the white. Yeah, yeah, front to back. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, the whole thing. The change in your relationship to a vagina. I said like Now when a woman opens her legs on the bed Like so yeah now Lucas is dude Lucas is for Tim not even just crazy

He got he got like moved up from JV to varsity in ninth grade His like I was at his game last night. He's a kid's awesome 17 points got one of the best you're hitting Italian Like the checklist awkward this year. No, my kids actually I'm not even saying it. He's actually good I know how it sounds. He's in fucking varsity He's gonna hit a corner J for the next Right now, I love it, dude. So, we're in the car, my Sophia's in the car last night and I go, she goes, Dad, can I, let me plug my phone in

and I'm gonna put my tunes on. I'm like, all right. And she has some songs I like, but then this one song came on and I go, I go, so, I have to be honest with you, this is terrible, you gotta take it off. And she just goes, you just don't know good music anymore. And I'm like, don't fuck that.

I just like the last five songs, this song is shit. I thought about like, I don't wanna be that dude. I don't wanna be the dude that's like out of touch, you know, with like what's good, but also. You will be though, that's the thing, it's natural. But hip hop did change like to the point where like, people consider Drake, like, like Drake is, I'm not saying he's bad, Drake's got some good shit shit yeah but like hip-hop it's pop it's pop hip-hop to me when you were

coming up had like the beat and then like a mob yeah or like even a nozz then you could have some stuff like Biggie had singing in the background sure but Drake you could argue that some of Drake is like R&B shit well I do think and actually there was a I mean this we're recording this a little bit ahead of time but there was just a most deaths, there's a clip of most deaf kind of going around where he basically was like, I think Drake makes pop music. Like I don't consider it hip hop. And I think that's how successful the era that you're talking about was so culturally

successful that 20 years later its influence just kind of filtered into the point that Drake takes a lot of that stuff right and Filters it into like a more accessible whatever yeah, and he just makes mainstream music based out of hip-hop that is that's that's sort of become Pop music that's my rock. Oh, that's you just nailed it It's hip-hop music that the category is hip-hop, but it is more of like a pop culture, just a good song that's mainstream. Good song. You can play wherever. And it goes under the hip hop umbrella, but that's not hip hop to me.

Hip hop to me was like that grimy fucking, you know what I mean? So what do you know any of the artists that your kids are into or what kind of music are we talking about? I'm curious. Because Elvis is one of these guys that likes to pretend he's young with his music. Elvis will listen to hilarious stuff and pretend he actually likes it and really he's trying to keep the reaper off him is what he's trying to do. He's trying to convince himself he's still young. Well, my son likes, like, my son likes J Cole.

Okay. That's good. That's classic. That's R. That's, you know. Yeah, that's like, but when I listen to J Cole, I'm like, oh, that seems more of hip-hop to me than a Drake. But they, you know, they listen to all pop, you know, like, now my daughter will listen, she's 11,

so she's like, scissor doja cat. And I'm like, dude, that chick is not, you're never dressing like that. Yeah. Yeah. Because like, dude, and that's the thing, I see like 11 year old girls, man, they see that whole like Doola Lipa.

And me and Stacey gotta be like, hey, those shorts. Like no, she kinda gets it, but she's not looking at it to drift, she's looking at it like all the girls in school, what they sell in the stores. Yeah, it's not, it is completely innocent from her point of view. It's just what's cool. But she's seeing what is cool.

But you did something to Stacey, I actually said, cause I said, oh, I'm going to Stavs today in Astoria. And she goes, Lucas, do you remember him? How nice he was? He came here and brought us fucking toys. I did get him a toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thinking, I was like, should I bring him something?

And I'm like, he's so low. No, no, yeah. No, not at all. No, his life is empty. He doesn't need it. I don't know, a bag of weed? Does he drink? Does he drink? I don't know what the fuck to get at this. But then I don't want to be. You have to get me anything. He doesn't need it No, no, no, I just brought a toy and yeah, yeah, yeah, someday

But that was class cuz I was straight class don't you know no it was great No, there was yeah, cuz funny cuz your kids were little kids when I came over I think you probably I think that was probably because we met probably ten years ago So you probably came over to that maybe eight years ago. It's been like eight years ago We had a I had the heater up on the deck. We drank right we smoked a cigar and drank a whiskey I was doing some scotch back then I was a big scotch and soda guy. We were talking about you dad I'm so happy when I found out you were doing multiple beacons I was like dude, that's the way to come to New York and get it done. Thanks, man. Yeah, no. Yeah, I can't I still can't believe that the beacons out of control and those shows were Incredible. Yeah, that's a great like place. I remember being there years ago

And that that place just like you could remember the places that the acoustics are just You know you could just remember when you talk into the mic and then you hear, you're like, out of the gate, you're like, this is gonna be great. It was, dude, so we did Thursday and Friday and Thursday was one show. And honestly, Thursday, it was a little weird because I'd never done a, you know, usually you do these big theater shows.

It's like, you pack the night before, there's a whole ritual to it and you're kind of getting mentally prepared where it's like, this was like- You're home, so it's like doing a spot. It felt like a spot and like, it was a good show and the crowd was good and I was good. And I was like, well, and I still walked away

being like, that was fucking, that was cool. It was a little under the weather. The next day that Friday, my head was in the game a little more, I felt better. And the crowd, dude, the crowd was so electric on a Friday where I stepped out there and it was just like, this is, those shows might have been the best shows of the whole tour

and they were the last shows of the tour until the makeup shows obviously. But I planned it so we would end in New York and it felt incredible. And it's like, it was, I mean, just such a great day. When a crowd does that man, like it really does take something out of the comic. Like when you're up there and they're just so with you and electric

it makes you better, it makes you ad lib better, it makes you sharper, it makes you fucking add something that you wouldn't even thought because when that's not the case you're just going alright let's go to the next thing or let's do this but when it's just like that you sit in a pocket and you're just fucking having fun, and that's the best dude. It's crazy man. I Shout out to fucking podcasting in YouTube shorts. I Can't believe it tick tock although they're slowing us down. I don't know maybe we have to throw some ass eldest Did you do did you also your big tick tock you do? I still I mean it was yeah I think a lot of people found me from tick tock when I was posting a you know a couple years ago But it's kind of slowed down a little bit, but whatever who gives a fuck. I'm happy now to just be

on the road. I'm going to take a little time, go back to Baltimore, chill a little bit. But yeah, it's cool. And you're about to, what do you want to play? You got your special coming up? I'm shooting my next special, yes, February 24th at the Den. Cool. And then, yeah, oh, and the makeup date. Yes. We have a makeup date.

I'm doing the Gramercy Theater. June 8th is the makeup date. Oh, that'll be great. So that's a Saturday night. It's still not summer yet. Kids are still in school, so it's not. People aren't going to be away. Yeah, yeah.

It's still like, it's still before the summer hits. So yes, that's a Saturday night June 8th. We made it up dude my back dude. I'm having I'm not gonna lie. It's been a rough like my yeah, dude I got I got really sick before I got like an awful flu before Christmas Then I re-harniated a disc around New Year's I couldn't get out of bed. Oh, dude. It was so bad my wife I tried to get out of bed to piss I took two steps out Collapsed my wife had to I go stay she I go grab something of bed to piss. I took two steps out, collapsed. My wife had to, I go, stay, I go grab something for me to piss in.

She comes out of the kitchen with a fucking plastic bag. And I go, stay, what the fuck? And she goes, you're not using that new thermos, I just bought you. Chris, you got me. You're an excruciating pain. I'm an excruciating pain. And she's holding like a fucking CVS double bag bag like a pocket and she holds it under my dick and I'm like this

might be the lowest moment of my career and life like my life yeah you know so she's holding yeah so and I found out yeah re-herniated the disc and then just had food poisoning at Mochigen Sun. So now dude, things are better. I hope so, knock on wood and the make-up date. Yeah, we'll be June 8th, New York City. And hopefully the special will either be right out or right around that time. So yeah, come out to New York, it's gonna be great.

And then all other dates, paulversey.com and nocturnal admissions, dude. Nocturn on admissions is still streaming on Netflix and I want to shout out and thank Joey Diaz man because Joey Diaz saw my special and and called me and said some nice things and then went on and was like

dude that's a great special and then the special jumped up and the percentages jumped up. So it's called not turn on admissions. It's still streaming on Netflix right now. You could check that out. I'm working on the new one. And Bobby Kelly and I got bone to pick.

Fersi effects. So yeah man, so all that. That's awesome. That's awesome. The shows in New York will be fun. Do you have like, I mean I'm sure, I just love all the stories of like your, your gubbring, your dad is a hilarious. We talked about your mom side of the family a little bit.

Your dad's a hilarious guy too. My dad is, my dad is different, man. I don't even know. My dad legitimately, and I didn't realize it until later, but now thinking back when he was young, my father would root for the bad guy in the movie legitimately. I'm not even joking, like legitimately. I'm talking about the piece of shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a guy that was, and I'm going like, how? And he'd be like, yeah. And I was just like, he. That's awesome. Yeah, he's just one of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a guy that was, and I'm going like how, and he'd be like, yeah, and I was just like. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, he's just one of those. Did your friends didn't stay together? No, no.

No, my mom and him, if you met them, like you were like, oh, okay, that makes sense, what you got divorced. My brother Christian was 10, I was five, bitter divorce, brutal divorce. You know, my dad would just say my mom went crazy. Right, right, classic. And I lived with her, you know, and all this shit. bitter divorce, brutal divorce. My dad would just say my mom went crazy. I lived with her, all this shit.

Yeah, judge people, he's very big on materialistic things. So if a man doesn't have a nice watch or nice shoes, he's like, what the fuck is this? I'm not even Joe. I'm not even like, he'll go like, could you just let that be a lesson? You know, I mean, look at the guy's car. And I'll be like, my dad is just,

he's just one of those guys, man. And I'm not gonna change it. I can't change it. Of course. You know, so I was- What did he do when you were growing up? What was his, like, what did he do for work? He was in insurance.

Okay. He sold insurance and real estate. Okay. And yeah, and just always, like, he was just one of those guys, we didn't know what money, he just had cash. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything was cash, everything was kind of we didn't know what money, he just had cash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything was cash, everything was kind of,

don't tell anybody where I live. Yeah. Don't tell anybody my address. Did he gamble? Like what was it? Do you have any vices? Like was he a womanizer? The weirdest thing was, he would say,

stay away from criminals, stay away from street kids, because they're just gonna get you in trouble, stay away from drugs. But then he would be like, he'd have guns in the house and be like, don't tell him where I live. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I didn't know, but it was very confusing

because he would give wisdom, but then he would just be like, it would say some weird shit. So yeah. So that's interesting because I do think there's a type of guy like that who could have been involved in some kind of organized crime thing, So that's interesting because I do think there is there's there's a type of guy like that who Could have been involved in some kind of crime organized crime thing or just really wanted people to think he was yeah You know what I mean like I know that I know for a fact that he went to school and had friends that I don't know

Mob or what but I know that not good and I know that he would warn us to stay away from people like that Yeah, maybe he got a little bit when he was younger I think he saw things that were like, oh, these are like uneducated street kids. And if you become that, the end road is not good. So we got wisdom that way, you know, but then he would just be like, marry a rich woman and you'll be sad.

Yeah, is he still around? You're still around? Yeah, yeah. How's he doing these days? Yeah, he's all right. You know, like I don't get to, we have a weird relationship. So I don't see him that much or talk to him as much

as I would like to just because of whatever. But yeah, it's funny, because now that I'm older and I have a family, I see things different. Totally, dude, just even the like, I go back to the aging thing, it's like I look in the mirror sometimes, I'm like, I look like my, because I'm the age my dad was when I was a little kid.

So I see that face in the mirror, I'm like, oh fuck, I'm starting to look like my dad. Because you age my dad was when I was a little kid Yeah, I see that face of the mirror I'm like, oh fuck I'm starting to look like my because you never think you look like your dad because yeah He's always old as shit compared to you and then you finally the one the first time I'm an age He was that I remember and I'm like, oh no, dude. I'm seeing that shit. Yeah, does he yeah? This he's so different dude like he anything that is popular. Yeah that people like or do like He saw one time there was like I said this one time another podcast But I think you get a kick out of it like he saw everybody was like talking highly a Martin Luther King

And he goes and he goes and he goes he goes fucked that I'm working that day And I didn't know if it was a racist thing No, no, he goes that kid's a pervert. He goes, that guy was a womanizer and pervert. I'm going to work. He goes, I'm going to fucking work. I'm working that day. I don't think all.

So I was like, wait a minute. So like, you don't want to date? You don't want to just chill for a day? He literally was like, everybody, but he would do that with anything. Anything that's like built up. A contrarian. He'd find the bad stuff.

No, no, he's a guy's a womanizer. Yeah That's what they don't want to tell you And we'd be like and and I would yeah, but like any kind of yeah Contrarian or like when everybody would the one thing that I didn't ever I never even told my dad this but I didn't like this Yeah, I was at my dad's house during the I'm'm a huge, Stavinozis, I'm a huge, and my son is too, my daughter, but I'm a huge Knicks fan. Like I am a diehard Knicks fan. Knicks are like, I live and die with the Knicks, okay?

Looking good this year. Yeah, very good. And the Brunson trade will probably go down as maybe one of the top. And an OB? No, no, Brunson. The signing. Getting, signing Brunson is probably gonna be one of the best signings that Knicks have done in 30 years, no, Brunson. Brunson, the signing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting, signing Brunson is probably going to be one of the best signings that Nick's

have done in 30 years, you know? For sure. For sure. So anyway, I was at my dad's and it was the Bulls, Nick's, and it was like John Paxton on the Bulls. And I remember it was like a big thing and like he saw how the garden was going nuts and how much I wanted the Nick. And I remember Jordan kicked it to Paxton in a huge moment and Paxton hit a three and my dad's like

That's what champions do So like now looking back. Yeah, it was always there. Yeah, yeah, not so I don't think to get me But there was he wasn't a troll. He was just a hater. I know you're saying yeah, like definitely wouldn't troll his son Oh, yeah You don't really talk to he? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he's like, yeah. Well, you don't really talk to him, so I don't know, maybe. Yeah. He's like, just divorce hand over.

Armstrong's open in the corner. No, yeah, I don't know. But yeah, no, definitely not a troll. I would just say like that. Like, just definitely like a hate not share or just being like, nah, fuck that. And you would be like, all right. Yeah, yeah. My brother got more of the brunt of it of course though

I was I was kind of like five and I was you know, I saw it a little bit but my brother You know he would say some shit so yeah interesting shit But it is funny how like you get habits from from them, but I kind of more like my mother sure sure You know what I mean, so she's around your kids way more Yeah, my mom had stage four my mom had stage four cancer and was on her way out in the late 90s and Yeah on her way out like stage four like it came back the fourth time it came back They couldn't do surgery anymore to take it out and it just started spreading all over and she was on her way out And then the Dana-Farber Institute in Boston

Man, God bless them. They came out with a test drug for people with leukemia, which my mom didn't have. My mom had a completely different cancer. My mom had a gastrointestinal thing in her stomach, and they did a test on 26 people. I'm sorry, on 100 people, and it worked on 26. And my mother was one of the 26. Jesus Christ. And then out of the 26 people, it started coming back to the 26 people,

and some of those people passed, rest their souls, and it only started working on 10, and my mother was in that. Wow. And now 30 years later, my mother's cancer is shrunken at bay. Unfortunately, the medicine kind of takes a toll out of her, but she got to see weddings, she got to see grandkids,

she got to be around everything. I see her, I take her out to lunch and stuff. So yeah, so me and her have a, you know, and she's been there for me through my hard times. So we have a tight thing. I love that the cure would extend in your life with some dogs being like, yeah, I don't fucking know, give it a shot.

Like that's that and that worked. Like that's fucking awesome. And it was a Greek doctor. Yeah, it was a doctor to military. It wasn't an Albanian doctor, was it, Eldis? Yeah. Have you ever come into contact with any Albanians, our friend Eldis here is Albanian doctor was it eldest have you ever come have you ever come into contact with any Albanians Paul our friend eldest here's our baby we like to

ask every guest I have some Albanians aren't a neighborhood oh yeah you know I didn't realize that Albanians and Italians have similar they have some similar circle I mean it's all look at that look what's in between it really is like Albanians literally between Italy and Greece. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so it's all right there, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. No, but listen, I'm down for a, I'm down for a non-doctor that looks like me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, if I see, you know, Asian doctor walks in, Indian doctor walks in, you kind of, there's something that's like, and I'm not saying this to be racist, but they to be positively racist the positive It's a positive racist like they I saw them study when I was in college

Yeah, I was doing keg stands never they weren't there. Yeah, they weren't fucking there by the same token I would have been nervous a Greek doctor be like yeah, I'm your one shot at your mom living, just some fucking Greek guy, but he pulled it off. So my stepfather was like searching, because all you could do, and there was like this thing, and it happened, Boston's just been in our lives, my brother went to BU, so we went out there and would visit, and this Dana,

my mom tried Sloan Kettering down in New York, and this Dana, Farber, and Boston just had this test drug, and it worked on my mom's cancer, and it did something, it was able to, you have to have certain cells for a torque, it was a miracle. It's a miracle, you know, I mean, it's a lot, she's gotta take six pills every day that beat her up.

She gets, there's a lot of days she doesn't have good days, but like, 30 years, dude. People who have to take a bunch of pills, I would die for sure, just out of forgetfulness. Whether it's cancer or like those AIDS guys had to take like fucking 12 pills. And I'm like, dude, I would have been dead so fast. I would have been dead as fuck having to remember pills, dude.

And one day I would have taken four days worth and one. The drug would have killed me. I'm like, did I take them out? I'm gonna be safe. I forget, pain pills, one, I'm in pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just like, yeah, nah, I don't. Oh, I don't got a problem forgetting those.

Right, that's how? Anybody's got any laying around, yeah, yeah. You got some from my ride, though. Yeah. It is a bop, that is true. Oh, shit. That's fucking hilarious, dude. Are you dating anybody now?

No, I'm single. I'm just out there crushing. Yeah, although I'm honestly just like. Oh, I thought you were gonna say, I'm just tired of crushing, plus. I'm just like, dude, it's like at a certain point, when you're fucking on the road for a while, it's like, it's fun.

You meet some fun people, you have a good time, but it's like, I literally, like on this last tour, I had gotten like, my habits were so bad and I was just like not, I just felt kind of disconnect from everything, that just a girl hit me up to come over, should have just come over. And I had had too much, we were in Kansas City

and I was like, I've had too much barbecue to have sex. And it was the, you wanna talk about low, your wife holding a plastic bag for you to piss in? You wanna talk about low moments? I was like, what am I doing? Dude, telling a chick that you had too much brisket. And I just, I had to, I didn't even make up a different excuse, because I was like,

I need her to judge, I deserve to feel this. I deserve to feel a hot woman saying, I'm basically telling her I chose brisket over pussy. And I need her, I need at least one woman out there to know I made that, and I need to live with that shame. Maybe God was with you and the brisket was better than that pussy. Yeah, who knows?

She looks pretty good. Hey, listen, baby. If you're listening, I'm sorry. And if you're ever in New York, let me know. Well, you know what's crazy is like I talk, I don't really, actually not really, like my Netflix special, I talked about my family for maybe four minutes in the special.

This new hour, I talk about a couple stories of my kids. So I'm not really big on talking so much about my family, but if you come up to me after a show as a woman, you're a whore. Because if you come up to me after seeing eyes, you just have zero shame and don't give a fuck. And no, Dallas, I was in Dallas and I'm just doing a meet and greet and there's you know, it was Addison and it was great and there was a line and this is, this shit comes up and she's just like in front of everybody. I'm just sitting there and like

this is recent. And I'm talking about my kids and I got two kids, you know, 14, 11, and my wife. And she just goes, oh man, she goes, if you didn't have to go back tomorrow, I would totally fuck you tonight, right? She said it like during the picture. And it was so awkward, I was just like, eh, what? You know what? And then a woman comes after her with a boyfriend.

And she goes, I would take her up on that. And then that woman later hits me up and goes, hey, I know you must be exhausted after performance, but if you wanna part it, and I'm just going like, and I'm going like, I couldn't imagine with your podcast followers and with being single and being on the road, but you choosing barbecue, or just not choosing barbecue, but just saying you can't,

because of it, I think it's incredible. Well, it helps, you know, it helps to cut it down, being fat as shit also cuts it down. It's a specific kind of woman, Paul. You know, I don't got rife numbers in my DMs. Listen, sweetie, I got barbecue sauce on my fingernails right now. You know, all it takes is one per city, that's what I say.

It's not a ton of women But there's a couple beautiful beautiful soldiers out there and we salute you for being a part of our armed forces Which barbecue did you do did you do love barbecue? I don't remember. I don't remember when we went my buddy Caleb become a very funny community actually he's from Kansas City where sworn enemies right now, but The very funny comic Caleb her and I always City where swore on enemies right now but uh very funny comic Caleb Hernan I always fuck his last name up I think that's how you say you guys are gonna win that game um hopefully well this goes on afterwards so we're gonna look dumb if we're both wrong but uh he took us somewhere I should know the place it was great

he's like he's a Casey local um but I don't know it was great but it was it was good yeah he said it was like a newer place like there was like like some super popular, like the classic place. And he was like, no, that place is like done. This place has been open for two years, but it's awesome. Yeah, I will say this. People get a little nuts about barbecue. It's like, let's be honest, dude, it's ribs. It's it's it's it's a lot of the same shit.

Now, listen, some of the best that I ever had was La Barbecue in Austin, Texas. I was with Dave Kimwood's Rest Is Soul that will bother me forever. But it was outside. It was for the festival, South by Southwest. Dude, they were like famous chef there. David Chang, like they were people like Russell Simmons. Everyone's there. You waited 45 minutes online outside. And then when you got up there, they gave you the wax paper and the tray. And just for waiting so long, they just gave you a hunk of brisket to taste while they put your order together dude it was the most tender it was so you can definitely get better you can get better barbecue that's but people get nuts

where it's like dude if you have like good brisket it's kind of similar yeah yeah absolutely you know what I mean ah what the fuck Paul it's me again. This is so fucking good and quenches my fucking thirst so fucking awesomely liquid death Have you guys ever seen a liquid? Have you ever seen someone drinking a liquid death and thought to yourself what the fuck is going on? Is that a fucking beer? Is that an energy drink why is a baby drinking a tall boy a golden tall boy why is you know an old lady having a big

ass energy drink it's not under that shit it's like an ice-tease it's Celsius it's water dude it's awesome I fucking love it even when they weren't a spot Here's how much I love liquid death they sponsors before I would buy it They stop sponsoring this you for a while and I was buying it still it's good as fuck You understand that you know about my money, but that's how good this product is they could take their dollars away I'm still gonna be seeing about how awesome it is Scroll down,, Eldis. I love it.

Tricking people into thinking. I actually recently did crack open one of these while driving with my mother and she freaked out. She thought I had an alcohol problem. That part's fun. The flavors are fun. I'm an iced tea guy. I like the grim leafer right now.

I'm drinking the armless Palmer. I like to just drink them when I would kick back I'm trying to get a little whatever you know when I would just kick back and drink a little Bruce Carino now I'm sucking off liquid deaths you could get free shipping of liquid deaths mountain water flavored sparkling and iced tea 8 packs with Amazon Prime or grab a can or a case at your local 7-eleven Amazon Prime or grab a can or a case at your local 7-Eleven Target Walmart Whole Foods or on Instacart. Go to liquiddeath.com slash Stavi to check out all their healthy infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. That's liquiddeath.com slash Stavi liquiddeath.com slash STA VVY A nice juicy brisket, but this was oh god nice juicy this was good big there was good ass brisket It was good. It was fucking awesome

But I don't I think we got Paul's got a wealth of now. We've got a father. We've got a family man We've got a Man who's chosen as Italian roots over his Greek roots. I mean we have a lot. He's got a lot to offer here He's made some mistakes. He's made some, he's made some good choices. So we're ready to bring your wisdom, Paul, to our, to our callers here. So I'll just, why don't you place a couple, a couple calls?

Hey, stop, hey, stop. New father here. Just had a daughter a couple months ago. Okay. It'll be a year coming up soon. And you seem like a guy that's, well, all right, nice way to put it, just has sex with a lot of whores. I don't want my daughter to be, I'll do it with respect to you.

I don't want my daughter to be the cabinet girl that would just randomly have sex with somebody like you. So. Somebody's having wonderful people, thank you very much. Please let me know. Do you have any advice as to how I can keep that from happening? Please let me know.

You know, I'm always happy to hear from you and whatever that Albanian guy's name is. This guy is one of the most disrespectful phone calls I've ever gotten on this show. Is this, are they fucking around? I think, I do think, okay, he's worried about his daughter growing up and becoming promiscuous, which by the way, weird thing to think about a baby. Let's start right there.

I was gonna say, dude, that was the first thing. Couple months, you're already thinking about her sucking dick. What's wrong with you? That's number one. That's fucking atrocious that you're thinking this way This is a troll to you, right? I mean, but but at the same time I do think there are At the same time I'm not the percentage of women that I've had sex with it fully love their dad It ain't that high I guess

But you could have couched this in different terms, is my point. His question is, how do I raise a woman that wouldn't fuck you? That's basically what he's asking. I don't know. Don't listen to podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah.

Are you fat? Are you a fat, charming man? If not, you have almost nothing to worry about. The girls that I've looked up with usually don't like their don't like their dad or their dad was a fat charismatic man. And it's one of those too. So either lose weight or stick around. I would also say you nailed it at the beginning, dude. You can't worry when they're a couple months old.

That's so funny. Like they're not doing anything to make you concerned at fucking 24 months. That's crazy. Yeah, so let her. That's fucking weird to even be thinking about your kid fucking at that age, man. Yeah, you gotta let her start to go to school

and see how she dresses before. I will say, you worrying about this is actually a bad sign because it's these weird hyper-focused dads that almost try and like, the thing everybody has to realize their kids your kids are gonna be human beings and everything you did they're gonna do even the shit that scares you because you know you did dumb shit yes you know you made mistakes you know you had bad experiences well as good experiences I got news for you that's gonna happen but he also don't want to be one of those weird uptight dads it's

like proud who when his son gets pussy and is like, no one can touch my daughter. Your daughter's a human being. She's gonna have to, and maybe this is where me and Paul's opinions diverge, because Paul's like, maybe we need, no I think we should lock her in a room until she's 24 and then she can date.

But like, your daughter like gonna have the same desires any other human being has. And you worrying about this all heightens it to the fact where it's like she's gonna be hyper aware of this being something that bothers you. And if it becomes a thing where you're almost, you know- Pushing her to it. Exactly, it's like kids also rebel, dude.

And this is one of the most clack, there is no more textbook rebellion than like trying to get your daughter not to date and making sure she like doesn't become promiscuous. And then if you would, whereas if you would just let her be a normal person who has like a solid little cute high school relationship, she has a normal, you know,

her, the way she relates to dating is healthier than if you try and forbid her So she's sneaking out and sucking dick. I was gonna right away Do you think there has to been a Greek girl that sucked a dick of a culture her father didn't want her to suck? Yes, and she did just because yeah 100% 100% and yeah There's another place plenty of rebellion coming this way too where it's like a lot of girls like uptight parents Like you know hook up with like messes like when you know when shit wasn't going good for me It was like you know what parents need to realize and this is real advice

What parents need to realize is if their children see them Trusting them like if the kids sees, my parents trust me and know, that's gonna push a kid in the right direction to go, my parents not gonna do the right thing, and in their head they're gonna do the right thing. Or they're gonna wanna do the right thing. Because kids like that don't wanna disappoint, and they realize that they were raised right,

and their parents are like, no, my kids gonna, I have the trust of my parents, I'm gonna do the right thing. If you're all over them, then it's like, ah, they're annoying, I'm gonna sneak. Those are the kids that sneak out. Totally, totally, totally. That's what I would say. 100%, yeah, and it's like,

so you're already off to a bad start, I would say. Just be cool, man. I don't know what weird sex hangups you have or you're worried about a baby fucking fat, fat comedians already. First of all, there's a lot to break down here. There's Putting me in it's weird. You have I was too reading I don't want my daughter to be the kind of girl that would randomly have sex with someone like you

What about date me you fucking piece of shit, huh, what if I treat her right if you took her to the movie Oh, yeah, we went to the right a me and Paul went to Owings Mills mall movies that one time we went to the movies and I think we got a sarkoosh Japan did we get shitty Asian food we did oh my god what year this eight ten years ago damn that mall was just like it was completely air for like it was decrepit is that the what did we even see do you remember it was a fuck was like it was the creptors at the end. What do we even see do you remember? What the fuck was around it was so yeah, I don't remember at all. No must not have been that good It was probably what it was 2013. I don't remember dude. I could it might have been 13 or 14

So I'm gonna look up movies and then yeah, yeah, but anyway, dude, you know, I don't know what's going on with your weird Jealousy towards me and worry that your daughter Yeah, I don't know what's going on with your weird jealousy towards me and worry that your daughter Damn all right, what else we got, Eld? Stavi, baby. Got a question for you. So my dad, who is an Italian immigrant, came here middle of the century. You know, always spoke Italian as the first language,

English as the second language, just the whole Italian thing. Listen, I know your stance, Lo's of the whites, makes sense, but he did 23 and me and Lo and behold, the beautiful Azure blue and the white flag of the great Hellenic Republic was waving. 70% Greece did. So now of course he's going to Greek restaurants. Wow, he switched back. And shooting news out and stuff. But wrinkle for you is that the specific ethnic group of Greeks, and I say Greeks, that he was categorized as are the Illyrians, which I believe, because I'm not mistaken, is what young eldest's people claim to be.

Yeah, they like to claim a bunch of shit. They ain't shit. Albanians are barely a race. I just want for you to settle this for us. They're Mongrels. They're the leftovers of every other Balkan nation. Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question, though?

And I'm serious about this. This is a serious fucker question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this 23 and me shit? Do you think it's really accurate? I don't, actually. There's no way. I don't either, dude, because they do it with dogs.

They do the shit with dogs. They're like, oh, that dog. And they give all of these things that I'm going like, I don't know, man. I just don't know if it's, I don't know if there's really an accurate. I almost would think it's more accurate. Cause all they're talking about is like

the markers for each different breed, which you could, but it's like, they have a very different like, even though even dogs, you're right. It's all DNA is all the same. They're all is all the same, they're all the same DNA, we just bred them weird. This is like, how the fuck can you even really know? This is all such bullshit.

And it's like, what are we doing here? Your dad is Italian, bro. It doesn't matter what his fucking DNA is, he's who he is. He doesn't get a fucking weird test and I was like Well, I'm a completely different person because everybody is somewhat associated to everybody I know this way the admission is so stupid because you're not you don't get a test back and start going I'm this you're whoever the fuck you are yeah human beings are the same That's the whole point you know what I've gone back. We've gotten past this bullshit of what ethnic group.

We like to make fun of it, obviously. And of course, Illyrians are, they're a type of Greek. Abanians did not achieve anything in the ancient world. They picked one that it's kind of murky about and they claim that's them, that is not them. They're a stone age civilization that did nothing. Don't listen to them when they talk about Alexander the Great. He was Greek. So of course your your father and for all intents and purposes is Greek and

even even to break it down to Elidians is so stupid because it's like that's a fucking ancient tribe. Like you can say they definitely don't know that. Like we know we only has the markers for certain parts of Greece. Now they're saying, yeah, not only are they saying Greek, but they're saying a specific part. Yeah. Which is like, I don't know if they can know.

A literally a tribal group from, that hasn't been around since what? The year fucking zero? Like what was the last Illyrian? I don't know, I think we looked it up when we were in Greece. There's like 800 or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, it's like- A lost language, we don't know anything about their civilization. How the fuck are you gonna claim he's part that? We were talking back in the day, we were talking about how funny a sketch would be if they had all the Italians and like Bensonhurst, Brooklyn do one and find out the racist ones

and they find out that they were black. Which they are. And they, like I literally might be North African thing, right? and find out that they were black which they were and they I literally might be yeah North African thing right Sicily. Yeah, we've all seen true romance We've all seen Dennis Hopper's Dennis Hopper's a monologue. Have you seen that with the with the Moors? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it is based in some true truth another clap You know who wrote that who wrote that screenplay Quentin Tarantino yes that's how we get all those and bombs in there that's actually his first yeah it was though he wrote a man he wrote that and he wrote reservoir dogs and they said the studio was like you pick one of these

to direct yourself so he basically sold and Tony Scott wanted, wanted True Romance. So he sold True Romance, used the money to make Resward Dogs. It is, it's a great movie. I love that movie. One of my favorites. Yeah, that's funny. Whatever you're racist against,

you should have a little bit in. Yeah. A little bit of what your racist should be in. Just to share. That's the only time I support 23 of me is when Italians get them and realize they're North African. That only because it's funny.

But yeah, this is all fucking bullshit. I would love to be like a little African just because that's why I have a good jump shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, fuck your dad. He's Italian really. But if we're gonna be if we're gonna be funny about it, he's Greek and he's definitely not Albanian. Hey, Stavibaby. My first time ever doing this. I really don't think it's whatever make it on the podcast. A lot of vent vent with right now. Sorry. So basically my fiance of three and a half, almost four years, I figured out she was cheating on me for about seven months. And three days later, I find out she's pregnant. I'm obviously going to be getting this up for a kind of a test

If the kid is mine What should I do? Not be in the heating whore or should I just be a 24 year old single father? Or do I just sign over the right I really don't know what to do I know you don't have no kids and hopefully the guest also has kids yep but please I have my thoughts would go ahead Paul you gotta leave this dirty bitch that shit, dude. The only thing worse than a chick

cheating on you when she's pregnant is if she's cheating on you when your kid's young in school and doing that shit. Oh yeah, leave her for sure. This is never, this is never going to the best thing for this kid. The best thing for this kid is that the kid is not his and he never sees this evil bitch again.

Yeah, well, I agree with you. He's got to leave her, no doubt about it. But you don't get to not raise a child because a lady sucked another guy's dick. No, you got to reason. Unfortunately, you don't get to be like, well, you see, junior, the reason I wasn't around is because your mom's a dumb bitch.

Yeah, yeah. Like, now would it suck? Would it be more responsible? Like, would you have to co-parent with someone you literally hate? Yes, and that, you would really get a really bummed deal there and I feel, I feel for you, especially you're 24, you're a young guy,

but, you know, it's either, if you think, if you feel you're ready to be a 24 year old single father, that's one thing. But realistically what I think, if the kid is yours, is like, you just have to be a part of his life and you have to co-parent and maybe you guys need to use an in between, maybe you need to go through your parents, like have the grandparents be the buffer, I don't know.

But yeah, you're not absolved cause you got cucked. You can't go to fucking court and be like, you're on or another guy nutted in her a bunch. I shouldn't have to buy this kid food. Well, no, if it's his kid, then just be a single dad. You're gonna find another woman that will sympathize with you, feel bad, and be great to you.

And you and that person will help with the kid when the kid's with you, and you have to deal with her. But seven months, dude. No, of course, you gotta leave her. There's no doubt about that. She's not seven months, that's not like I made a mistake hammered at a fuck. But that's like, you were like,

that's an ongoing thing. Yeah, that's an ongoing thing. Absolutely, no, no, for sure. But yeah, you gotta get out of there for sure. And I think he knows that too, but man, we're really rooting for you. When did this come out? Is this, how old does this call?

It's pretty new. Yeah. Call in with any, listen, pal, let us know if we have updates here. Yeah. I'd love to know if this is your kid. We're slowly becoming Mari. I was gonna say Mari, I was gonna say, yeah.

It would be the best case scenario for him would be that the kid is not his, now he can, now she's caught dead handed. And that's it. And you go on and you know what? Bullet dodged. Huge bullet dodged. Sucks, but you're really, you almost completely

had a share of life with some fucking idiot. I'd love to know more details though. I'd love to know how you caught her. Love to know what your life's looking like. So if you, in fact, let's try and get them on a live Patreon call-in show, because I love to talk to them specifically. But good luck, pal.

Unfortunately, I love that you think, what should I do? I love that you think, should I abandon a child? Is even an option? Because your feelings got hurt, but unfortunately that's not how it works. Do I sign it over to her? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not a fucking lawn mower

yeah damn that's brutal poor guy that's rough the pregnancy just makes it yeah i mean hopefully it's not his but who knows who knows how bad his luck is hey Bobby I'm gonna make it quick cuz I know the show and I don't want you fucking cursive me or whatever I met this chick at a bar and we hung out and got the pussy nice later on she tells me that she is amateur porn but like you know low budget that has the worst porn name ever it's like one of these like QP like puny names anyway I like banging this broad but I don't know man I don't want to get like a STD or a Herp if I'm in my

40s I've been dodging the Herp bullet since I was a teenager and I don't want to get like a pd or herps if I'm in my 40s I've been dodging their hurt bullet So it's a teenager and I don't know I want to get it now and it's Christ up it all off I find out that not only does she do porn but she also does like gangbang stuff and book hockey stuff like a private party Not even a condom. She's fucking fucking. I mean not even a condom she's fucking fucking i mean she probably fucked with a condom but she's stuck with mad dick bro and uh i don't know but i think if uh you know if i use rubber i could probably use it with three thumbs and you know she's fucked dick like a poince i'll tell you that but um i don't know what what would you do would you ride this out for a while how is this a big unique guidance on it just like cut it off and you know just you know thank God that my dick is safe for another day.

I love you guys, love you, fuck you, I'll just y'all be okay. This is the best podcast. I mean dude, I did a lot of projects. I've never been on one where guys like, hey man, she's just sucking fucking gang bang and bukkake. What do you guys think? So you know, me and you are different. I think so, I think so.

I think we have wildly different opinions here. I could have already here, stop you going like, no, what's the problem? You know, I hear like some shit getting come down Like this is like stop I could already hear stop you going like no, what's the problem? Yeah, really? I hear like some shit getting combed on and stuff like I have that Italian First of all time out you're you literally have OCD Paul so don't try and blame it on being Italian You're having like you're having like a little fucking like Rain Man. I can see the twitch is starting.

Doesn't a gang bang no dude. A gang bang dude. That's where the line for me. And that's fair, we all have our own lines. Dude, to picture a chick like in the middle of just a fucking, that for me dude, that's where I'm like, I mean I would have to have a long conversation at dinner if it was two guys at once.

Yeah. I would be like, would you friends with them through high school? Like was this something you knew them? Did you know their families? I don't get it, would that make it better or worse? It would prefer me better. Yeah.

Just cause they know each other's family. You want the gang bang to have an emotional connection Down the street parents with friends of my dad, you know, we always fucking went to the movies together one thing and led to another I can do I can't this That's awesome. This is keeping in the community. I should be saying Around about way to ask if they were black You know, did you know their families if you catch my drift What part of Europe did they come from?

What part of Europe did they come from? Were they in the Union? Yeah. Okay, so look man, your dating a girl who does porn, this is what comes with it, bro. I have, I've seen a couple girls who, you know, I've seen a couple sex workers, sweet gals, some of the nicest people you'll meet. I don't know if they were doing, maybe they did get, and that's the other thing, if you date someone who does porn, don't look the videos up.

You don't wanna know. You just don't, if you like her, she's a good person, she's hot, you're having a good time with her, and it's casual. And by the way, you're in your 40s, and did he say she was a teenager? No, he said he's been dodging herpes since he's a teenager. Oh, okay, okay.

He's been dodging herpes. No, he doesn't want to get it when he's 40. I see, I see, I see, I see. You don't want to get it on the back, not. Dude, can I tell you what one of my porn searches used to be? Please. One of my porn shows used to be porn star that was never molested.

I swear to God, I swear to God, I'm my children. There's no way that, the algorithm is not that fine-teens, Paul. So I would want an interview of a porn star where she was like, I just love to fuck. That was, that was like, that would be it. Like back in the day, she was just like, I know nothing ever happened. My dad was great.

This is my choice. Yes. I am not trafficked. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, respect it. You're a good guy And I'm guessing you found two women All right, so look dude, this would come to it don't I would say a good rule of thumb don't look up the videos

You're good even if it wasn't gangbangs. You'd see a see a dick that dwarf that would put your dick in a complete shadow under the Sun you wouldn't even come close to it but does he make a good point about his health like does he make a point that like especially if it's amateur porn because regular porn real porn is like the safest yeah they know every partner there I think they have to be tested before every scene yeah amateur shit is not the case Well, yeah, I guess it does depend right if what quality we thought especially the gang bang it's like Isn't it isn't in 1080p? Is it in 4k if it's in 4k they probably tested if it's on an Android

Yeah, you're probably maybe you know, whatever, but also I would say a general rule of thumb is you get tested yourself use condoms in general like you know you can talk to her about it I'm she see it seems like she's pretty open And it's just a matter of your comfort. I don't know what to tell you if you like like I said it's a gangbang What's the number? I would say it is over I would say it's I think over two is a train. Well, three is a train. Two is a threesome.

And then, so I guess it's over three. Three or four. I think there are more, because it's like you wouldn't call three guys and one girl a foursome. It's like that's gang bang. It's a small gang bang. It's a mini, it's a petite gang bang. Yeah, I think it's over. Two is a threesome, the devil's threesome as it's called sometimes.

And three and over, even though it's not a really, again, not an impressive gang bang, but it is gang bang. I would say listen to Stav on this, not me, because I would walk. I would walk. Yeah, and listen, from what, everything in your voice is kind of judgmental, where it's like, you're a fucking dirtbag too. We can hear it in your voice. You don't get pussy for money,

but you're still trying to fuck as many whores as you can. The only, there's no different, this woman is actually more admirable than you. She's making a profit out of it. She's got clear skills. You're enjoying her, you're benefiting from her professional experience with those A plus blowjobs. I don't like the judgment in your voice. If it's a true health concern, that's one thing, but like, have you ever raw-dogged when you shouldn't have?

I bet you have, right? You've dodged some bullets too. It's like, I'm never judgmental of a guy with a DUI because let's be honest, we could have DUIs right now everyone probably listening to this podcast. We've all been eligible for DUI I had one. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's like 21 years old. I had one exactly And why that's exactly the age I'm thinking about where it's like yeah You did some stupid shit and in the same way We're all eligible for herpes. Maybe not OCD Paul over here. Maybe he's taking out the Lysol, the pussy, before he went into it.

But I definitely have put my raw penis in some questionable places. And thank the Lord, I've lived scot-free out of it. So it's like, don't be so judgmental. And you have no proof even that she does have disease. You're just being Like you're actually kind of it's almost like insulting this woman You're like she's bad at her job on some level because it's like if she's a if she's responsible She's she's probably getting tested whatever now like we said if though these are very and maturish

Maybe she seems irresponsible in general maybe be a little Be a little, be a little wary, but like. It's a very fundamental thing that it's like, you're a guy in your 40s and you like, continue to fuck someone that you just have such high contempt for. Right. Just to get like pussy in,

cause you might be able to finagle a three someone day. Yeah. Like try fucking like someone that you don't hate deep inside of you. You're a much more reprehensible person than her, actually. Don't, yeah, having sex with somebody that you're judging is like... Because me, and I'm not trying to be... When I hear gangbang bukkake, I'm out. So once I hear that... That is fair. I'm not John and the Gaslight, you Paul.

That is a very reasonable response. But yeah, I wouldn't do it anyway. Right, right, right. Like I wouldn't just, I wouldn't have the thoughts and do it anyway. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Where it's like, you know dude, take, you know, you're still, by the way, a man in his 40's still

trying to get pussy, kinda sad. I'm trying not to be, I'm trying not to be you to be honest with you. I'm trying to get in a relationship by the time I'm 40 40. I don't want to be having the thoughts you're having right now So you're no better than a sex worker. Let's remember that and you know if you if Let's lose some of the judgment and you know if you want to go on with this relationship Because you have a good time with this person and you trust her enough to you know be safe do it but don't don't yeah you're 40 dude you can't be like hanging

on for the chance of a threesome with somebody you don't like that's kind of pathetic. Let's do a couple more here big eldo. Hey, stop it congratulations on the special. It's wonderful. Very funny. Elvis, I hope you're doing great. Thanks, buddy. So I've got a real mild problem going on here.

Basically, what it comes down to is I like to have my nuts sucked. Nice. And you know, I'm happily married. She's more than willing to do it. However, she requests I be queen-shaving for that. Now, I've got real sensitive skin, so I can't use a regular razor. And it seems like every time I try to use an electric razor or something like that, I just marve my shit.

Oh, shit! It's horrifying. Yeah. So, I don't know, I'm not asking for, like, looking for a product or anything, more Horrifying yeah I'm not asking for like looking for a product or anything, but uh What how can I you know? Get that all cleaned up so I can you know bust a nice eight roper Anyway, have a good one to a, I've never heard anybody open up so elegantly. Congratulations on a special man.

I hope you guys are doing well. Anyway, I like to get my nuts sucked. I mean, that's the thing. And I have sensitive skin. That being the tag to it is awesome. But it's not really a nut. He's not really asking us a nutsucking question. He's asking us a hair removal question.

The Manscape lawnmower 4.0? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a really good one, because it doesn't like catch. But it might leave a little stubble. It sounds like she wants him totally clean. Oh, like shaving. I think, what about waxing?

Your nuts suck? What about waxing? I don suck? What about waxing? I don't know dude. How much do you want your nuts sucked? Yeah, but how do you even do that? Like is that even a good place? They do that? They have to have a way to do it.

Oh yeah, I do think so. Come on dude. Get those nuts nice and... Yeah, but if you put your nuts, if they get molded. I wonder if you dip them in wax. You probably... Look up, how do you wax nuts, Eldis.

I think the last callers girl knows. For some the scrum skin can be very thin and can be pulled without injury. Be mindful to apply as little pressure as possible on the testicles. Have them hold their shaft with the towel. Outstretch the skin. You gotta stretch it out and apply the wax in long, narrow strips for the best control. You probably have to like handle the skin while letting like the balls rest underneath it so you're just like on the top surface of the skin, you know? Um, yeah dude, I don't know. I like what you're saying about, uh, go down, wait, people also

ask what is etiquette for Brazilian waxing for a male? Let's see what that says. Proper etiquette means respecting your client's tibetaness while also being confident. Oh, this is for the professional. I thought answering any questions or concerns and laying step by step. Yeah, dude, I mean, look. Dude, I couldn't date her.

Who, the waxer? Yeah. Because she handles nuts? No, like guys' assholes all day? What about a doctor? Is it different? Now you're being classist. They're still handling balls and asses, but it's, you know, for... One has a degree, one's blue collar.

I would just ask how many assholes a day. So what about a proctologist? Yeah, that's... No, you know what? That's not fair. Yeah. I guess if that's your job, and what you're right. That's not fair. Yeah Guess if that's your job Anybody no one's getting anybody right right right now I have weirdly come across a type of porno where a lady waxes a guy's dick and jacks him off I just I don't jack off to but I see it. It's there. Well, I've watched a couple so how do you wax a dick or balls with that?

With it's being soft Like because it's just how do you wax a dick or balls with it being soft? Like, because it's just, how do you pull it off? That's rough. Look, all I'm saying is if this guy's very sensitive skin, I'm willing to bet a lot. Like women who get waxed sometimes do because they have sensitive skin.

Like, you know, I have, I don't know any men who have gotten their balls waxed. I know men who have gotten their ass waxed. I know men who have gotten their ass waxed. Yeah. But that seems easier. I would say look into waxing, my friend. I don't know. I got my back waxed once, and when they pull it off, it hurts.

I'm sure it'll hurt. Look, I'm not saying it's not going to hurt. The question here is, if razors aren't doing it, and you want them smooth. Now, if something like some kind of electric razor, some kind of trimmer works, if that's not, you know, not stubbly for her, but it's, I'm guessing she wants them clean.

Yeah, when I first heard this, I was obviously thinking like, well, just like, yeah, get a trimmer and you know, how clean does she really want them? What's the line for her? But waxing is actually a good idea, because you just got to take it to a professional. Take it to a pro. You know, when your balls sucked.

You want, and this comes down to you. I just felt that my skin's sensitive down there. I have trouble with shaving. Or one thing that he could try to do if he doesn't want to go to that extreme is, there's a product, there's a new product we had as a sponsor called Balls. And they have a thing where it gets incredibly low.

But then he can use that all over. And then put shaving cream on and get one of the razors that doesn't Like a protective razor and then just try doing his balls like in little Yeah, yeah, there's there's a fucking picky woman options. Yeah, that's a lot for her to be like I want nothing on your nuts I know a trim is fine, but clean. I'm just saying wax might, the thing about a waxing to me in theory, although I've never gotten my balls waxed, probably never will. It feels like at least somebody else is doing it.

You go in there, you get it taken care of. You show your wife you're really making an effort too. Maybe that gives you a real spirited nutsucking. I don't know, but it seems seems like it seems like you're basically Sacrificing convenience like somebody is doing everything for you So it's gonna hurt for like Ten seconds really bad, but you put all the discomfort into that ten seconds. Yeah, somebody else does everything else for you I think I would have a full-on rager during it. Yeah, I would think so

But I think when something scared nah, dude. I walked into a massage place that wasn't it Yeah, and I had a full-on rager and I had to and I had to apologize Not us to try that's awesome. Do because you're not that kind of guy at all. No, no I walked in and like I rolled over I had boxer briefs on yeah, and it was like a foot massage It was like open and I had a fucking rager and she goes oh, and I'm so sorry Really appreciative I don't I love my wife. I don't want to get jacked off Damn, yeah, dude the wrong place that'll get you jacked off Paul Yeah, you you turn around with that bit that hard to dig that's getting you jacked off. Yeah

So yeah, good luck buddy. I say try waxing your nuts You know and let us know how it goes Please update us When we got eldest we got some good stuff here pal. Oh What do we got, Eldis? We got some good stuff here, pal. Yeah, one second. Oh, wow. Look at this guy.

He's starting to take notes. Good for you, man. You're really growing as a producer. Hey, Stav. Hey, Eldis. This is sort of an etiquette question. A couple of years ago, I started a house sitting and dog sitting for my aunt and uncle.

And I would stay there for like a week. And then, so I would like shower and take care of the dogs, walk them. But like, when you're staying somewhere a week, you start like treating it like your own house? Sure. And you know, so that includes like walking around, like, fuck ass naked. I mean, I think that's fair. Anyway, it wasn't until like the second or third time um, it wasn't until like the second or third time that I was dog-titting that I noticed that they had like a nest cam set up. It wasn't like pointed in a bedroom or anything, but it was pointed at like the front door and like the front sitting area.

Um, but I feel like if you're gonna let someone like house it or like Watch the house You should like tell them if there be if they're like on camera. I don't know. Yeah, I just feel like I felt like weird after I mean, I stopped walking around naked after that but I It was a little bit of a surprise So what do you guys think you think? You should let someone know if they're on camera or if you're house sitting or is that like a? Like owners rights thing

Have a nice episode my guys. Thank you. Thank you Have a nice episode. Bye guys. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, I mean, I think that's fair for- I think both, yeah. I think, yeah, I think it's fair. First of all, you can walk around buck naked, but I also feel like somebody else's house, I might be one level less naked than usual.

You know what I mean? If I'm a fully naked guy in my house, which sometimes I will traipse around, you know, but usually I'm a fully naked guy in my house, which sometimes I will traipse around, but usually I'm a boxers guy in my house. I'm a pretty like, I hang out in my boxers constantly. Eldest will be over and I'll just be in my boxers. I'm real European with it. If I was in somebody else's home,

I might go shorts, no shirt. I might be one level less naked than my own house to where I'm still comfortable. But so maybe you overdid it just a pinch. You know, you wanna be naked in the bedroom. If you sleep naked, that's one thing. But if you're like, you got your pussy on their couch, that's a little much.

And I would say this too, if you have a nest or you have a ring and somebody's gonna be in your house with your dogs for a week, you should definitely say, hey, there's a way to do it, like, hey, if you hear anything or see anything, just so you know, if somebody bothers you, there's a ring. Let the person know that there is some sort of device

that's watching, but walking around a house naked, dude, one time I walked from the bathroom in my hotel room to like the window naked, and I felt, I was like, what the fuck am I doing? You know what I mean? Like that's a weird, so to be walking around somebody's house naked and have that happen multiple times,

a little weird I think. Especially if it's like your aunt and uncle's house too. Yeah, yeah, like I would, yeah. It's one thing if you're like hired by someone, but just like. I don't know, I would actually argue. Anyway. I would actually argue anyway. I would actually argue a family member is more acceptable to potentially be nude than

hired I Think walking around nude bite I think walking around nude by yourself in a house in a house at your house sitting in any scenario Yeah, having zero clothes on is a little bit. It's one thing if you're like taking a shower and the fucking is a little bit like- It's one thing if you're like taking a shower and the fucking, you smell like your Totino's pizza rolls getting burnt. So you run out, tits flopping, take them out of the oven,

go back to your dress. The fire thing is going off. You have to do something. That's one thing. But to just be hanging, I would say, I would say like, you wanna go one level less nude than usual, at least. I'm with you.

At least. And this comes from somebody who walks around, not around not butt naked but like I walk around in my fucking in my boxers a lot that's usually that's my default mode so you know I'm not trying to be a prude here I just think I wouldn't have been totally naked I probably would have been shorts and like a fucking very comfortable shirt like you know meh probably even if you want to have your tits out I probably would have put shorts on. If she would have walked around and just let's say like her panties and a t-shirt over or like bra and panties and do stuff I

think that's a lot for your aunt and uncles or any house but that's at least something. At least accept, you can at least hear the argument. Yeah. But just like titties flying around and like just sitting on the couch like that is kind of wild. And also like, yeah, also like, did you beat off on their couch? Have you done shit like that? Like, you know, I listen on my own couch, maybe I'll jack off, maybe I won't.

Who's to say? I'm not jacking off on it. I'm not, that's the thing. You're not treating, even when your house sitting a close person's house, it still ultimately is not your house. You can get comfortable. You can get, I would say you wanna get somewhere

between hotel room and your house comfortable. It's not a hotel room, it's not some weird place where you're not, you don't trust it, you're guarded, whatever. But it's not your own house. It is somewhere where it's some in between. And the level of close you are to the person, like your house, I'm proud,

I'm not putting my dick on your couch, but I'm in my boxers if I'm house sitting for you, you know what I mean? But if it's like a family friend that I don't know that well, I'm probably even wearing a T-shirt, which is unheard of for me hanging out. Yeah. So yeah, but also I think Paul,

you're very right where it's like, you can let somebody know without being like, we're watching you. You can make it sound like you can let somebody know without being like we're watching you. You can make it sound like hey just for safety we have a nest. If you heard something here are the four angles it's recording and you can go check it to also kind of let you know here's where you're recorded. Or sometimes the wind sets off. Sometimes the wind or the trees make something happen with an alert on the camera just so

you know just to let somebody know like we do have a Ring for the doorbell and we could see the front yard and backyard and we have a nest in the kitchen Which sees the living room like something like that for the person's safety to make them not walk around fucking naked And also so then you know where you're not covered by cameras, so if you really need your tits out that's your little you know bedroom is Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know got a nest right above the bathroom We have a nest in the toilet. Yeah So yeah There you go, buddy. I hope we I hope we can solve that oh this one

He when he take us home with a nice fun one here to close out the close out the episode and thanks again for coming Paul this is very fun. thanks for having us as a blast hey stop hey all this hey guest so I got myself in a bit of situation bit of a situation I love some advice so I asked my girlfriend two years to marry me probably like six months ago and she didn't say no she just said she wasn't quite ready for that kind of commitment. And then she signed up for school in Spain and took off doing that. And then before she left though, we had made some plans for me to go out coming up in a

couple months and she asked if I would have any problem being proposed to rather than being the one proposing And I just don't know how I feel about it feels like on one side. It feels wonderful because You know, I don't have to set that whole thing up again, but on the other side it's kind of like a Kick in the nuts, but I don't know. Just let me know what you think. What are your opinions? Thanks That's like a weird turn. Yeah, cuz I thought for sure you were toast. I thought she was getting some span your dick And then all of a sudden she's like would you be opposed to being proposed to which means when he comes out to Spain? She's gonna do that. That's a weird. I listen pal. I think I

Think because of what we all were just thinking and the fact that she didn't say no and then she goes to Spain, the fact that she's not pulling back foreskin right now, if she wants to propose to you, let her propose. Cause the other option is she's getting gang banged in Madrid. Go find a ring in some paella brother. Don't be a weird, what's the problem? That's a weird, that's really weird.

I don't see an issue, I think that's kinda nice. It seems stressful, you also had that bit about how botched your proposal was and how nervous you are. Yeah, yeah, I was a master. I was a master. Tell everybody again, I know the bit, but I hate to make you do old bits, but just tell us the story, it's a funny story. It is, I did it actually know the bit. Yes, so I hate to make you do old Just tell us a story. No, no, it is it is p

I did it actually for the first time ever like last year on the radio and everybody loved it So I was couldn't be more nervous more nervous than anything. Yeah in my life You guys have been how long at that point? We were dating about four years. Okay, so you felt good It wasn't like you didn't work 11 and a half on a ring. Wow. As a, you know, I guess starting out as a feature. It's a lot of money, bro. You know, as a feature, started to like really start to feature in major clubs, but like, you know, that's a lot of money.

Yeah. And I'm nervous, man. And we're in the thing and I don't know how to do it, dude. And I'm looking around and I'm all, fuck, I'm dude. I started looking around like a, I said, I was like, I was going to like rob the place. Yeah. I don't know what I was doing.

And then I'm like, and then I was like, oh, I'm gonna put it in the, I had it rolled up in my sock. And then I'm like, what if I put it, I'm like, what if I put it in a bread basket? But then I saw the guys taking the bread basket. Right? Like, you know, so I was like, dude, I don't want that to happen.

So I just had to like regroup. So I go to the bathroom and I'm like, dude, she's gonna say, yes, you love this girl. Like, what are you doing? You acting fucking weird, right? So we're sitting there and I'm to the bathroom. I'm like dude. She's gonna say yes. You love this girl. Like what are you doing? So we're sitting there and I'm looking at her and in the corner of the restaurant there was a TV and Sports center was on and just a little I could see it and I don't know what to do and that night one of the Dodgers Sean Green the Jewish kid yeah, he

He hit four home runs in one game, which if you know baseball, it's on her right? Like four or five people have done that. Every four at four home runs you know same game. So I'm just looking at my wife and just nervously I go oh I go that guy just hit four home runs in one game and Stacy goes oh that's awesome and my brain just goes now do it now I go, not as awesome as this. And I put, I fucking put the thing. And she goes, what? And I just lean back. I lean back like I just did a game winner. And she goes, what? No, you know you gotta get on the knee.

And I go, no, I know. Dude, it was fucked up. Then I get up and I put it on the thing. And it was, I will tell you something. I, you don't realize how nervous you were. That, that, that decision and action that a man has to make in his life, you would think it's this like, oh dude, I'm going to get the ring and give it. There is a panic.

There is like, not even about the commitment, just like having it. It's just a scary, scary thing. The fact, what if does she want to do it in Spain? Is that why she didn't commit? Was that like a plan? I doubt it. Part of me, I hear that. Part of me is like a little concerned. Her asking that is just like a stalling tactic by a floundering person who's just like too

young to even know like what to think or like make of it or something. How old are they? And the fact that she said I'm not ready. Oh, they're 21? Yeah, she said I'm not ready to commit now, which made sense, and then went to school. And then so, so that's the problem. The red flag for me is she just said she wasn't quite ready for that kind of commitment. And then she signed up for school in Spain,

which means she's either trying to get something out of her system or feel something out there. And then did and realized, oh, maybe I do wanna be with this guy. I don't know, but it's a weird thing. But it also looked, to give it a charitable view, I know what everybody's saying. It also is kind of scary for anyone, right?

Like we're used to men having commitment issues. Yeah. It's perfectly reasonable that a woman would feel that way. So it's like, she's like, she gets a little freaked out. She needs a little space. She takes it in a way where it's not a break. They're not broken up, but she still gets space. Like going abroad for school is sort of like,

yeah, it feels dicey, but it's like, she gets a little space without breaking up, can think through it, and she asks him this. So it is possible, the two options are, she's thought it through, took her a little time, thought it through and wants to now kind of, she might even feel bad that he went through this proposal. Doesn't want to make him do it again.

Maybe she's being nice. Or the worst possible thing is that she's just setting him up for an even bigger gut punch where it's like, would you ever want to be proposed to? And he's like, yeah, that'd be fine. And she's like, okay, cool. And then just never does. I think, you know what?

That's crazy and fucked up. Dude, as you talked, you're right. This is what it is. This is what I think it is. This is my Sicilian fucking antenna's going up. I think that she doesn't want him to go out to Spain and do it because she's not ready. So maybe she's, I think she may be doing that.

I think she might be buying time. But I also, what's this kid's name? I don't think he told us. Oh, you don't have a name. I actually think she's doing him a big favor because he's young too they're 21 years old or whatever no I don't we don't have that I just don't know that up for some reason I thought that okay but listen dating a girl for two years dating a girl for two years dude is honestly like it's just not enough time to it's not enough time to commit the rest of your life it's not

I'm probably years dude and think about that unless you go through some crazy It's just not enough time to, it's not enough time to commit the rest of your life. It's not. I probably agree. Two years, dude. And think about that. Unless you go through some crazy shit together. But yeah, usually not. Two years and think about it. The first six months are barely. I was gonna say first six months, it's like,

so it's not like, it's not like 24 months you guys were together all the time. You probably, it probably took almost half a year to meet families. So like, this is not, this is jumping in, dude. So her saying that. If that may be a year. Yeah. I mean, sometimes, you know. Sometimes a year to meet, hey, you're gonna come to my families. So like this is not, this is jumping in, dude. So her saying that. If that may be a year. You know what I mean?

Sometimes, you know. Sometimes a year to meet, oh, you're gonna come to my families for Thanksgiving. That could be over a year. Yeah, totally. So yeah, I think she's actually being the one with the foresight here to say like, no, let's kinda chill and she's not ready,

which I think she did him a favor. Two years is. So, you know, we can't read this girl's mind. We don't know if she's gonna propose to him But ultimately what he asks us is like Basically, what do we think about the proposal thing, right? So let's you know, we've done our little analysis But as opposed when it comes to questions of do you have a problem being proposed to by a woman?

Like I don't see that being an issue at all really my mother did it to my dad. Oh really? Yeah, she was like do what the fuck she's like, then I'll do it and he was like, all right Wow a contrarian even in the way he gets he gets engaged. Yeah. I fuck I guess. Yeah whatever I'm not getting on a knee you do it. If a chick had asked me though that what would really be hard though is if a man had to say no because if you're not ready and she's ready and she goes hey and then all of a sudden you're in a park and she goes I know this isn't traditional but would you marry because if you're not ready and she's ready and she goes, hey, and all of a sudden you're in a park and she goes, I know this isn't traditional, but would you marry me and you're not ready, dude? I would imagine it would be so incredibly difficult to break a woman's heart like that. I mean, I'm sure the other way too.

I think that's why it's the way it is, because throughout history it's always been the man who has the problem committing. So it's like, in theory it's always been like the woman waiting for the man to say it. Guys just say yes and get divorced. Yeah yeah yeah. Because you don't want to break it hard. I was like whoa whoa whoa this is my thing it's not a yes or no I just I'll do it you know but yeah I assume it would be hard but that's not what we're dealing with here because he seems to have some weird almost like. He said it would be wonderful.

But he said on one level it'll be wonderful but on the other one he says it'd be like kick. But I don't know why that would be a kick in the nuts I don't know I think like just her sequence of events is like a little suspicious and it doesn't sound like it doesn't sound like you know this relationship is like for sure do necessarily but I think it's just like hey man now's not the right time necessarily let let you know go out to Spain but tell her like I don't really have a problem with that in theory but I want to be the one to propose and you know maybe no and then skip in the country yeah I'm sorry she didn't quite

say no though she wanted the continuance I don't know what but I don't see the issue I don't I hear you're I think you're both bring up good points but you're also being a little conspiracy theory slash negative. I'm taking the rare positive stance here where it feels like to me, she took her time, she thought it through, she does wanna be with him, and she might even wanna be doing him a solid

about what he's saying of like, she already kinda made him go through the process. And I think if she is ready to commit, now she might even feel bad and she's like, I don't want him to have to do this again. I almost owe it to him or it'd be a nice gesture as long as he doesn't feel emasculated, it would be a nice gesture for me to do it.

You know what it is though? Like people think of proposals that's like complete surprise, blah, blah, blah. It's like, it's okay to like, you know, put it on, put an actual proposal on nice and just like take some time to think it through and also like, you know, couples can and should talk about like marriage if they wanna get married

before like a proposal even happens. It's not supposed to be, it doesn't have to be like a completely isolated like spontaneous like event or milestone. Like maybe they just need to have like a conversation about it. Yeah coming from the guy who's a fiance's wife wanted to be engaged probably three years before you did it yeah that's how you feel Eldis I don't know if everybody feels that way. But he makes a good point in one sense that my wife like I knew you also like no like

dude my wife I knew there was zero percent chance. She would say no. Zero. It was almost to the point where she was like letting me know, like, hey, can we do this? Like, so I feel and I feel like every both parties would feel that and know that where and I guess that's a good point. That's a good point.

Where the two years is the problem, like I said before. That's what I think you're probably right, actually, that at the very before anyone proposes in a situation like this these two people should probably have a conversation about marriage as a like what do you want what would you even want your married life to look like like you have they even had that like compatibility any compatibility discussions that they made plans for the future like they they might, it feels a little young. Now, if they have had those talks, right?

And especially, you know, while she's in school, they've talked about it, whatever. But, you know, but the other, to play devil's advocate against that though too, is like, she knows he wants to be married. That's the other thing. They don't really need to have that conversation because she was the sticking point the last time they had it. So now she can be confident

that he's gonna say yes. So you know, I think if basically it comes down to if you are a buddy who called in, if you feel confident and you feel like you don't really need to have that conversation because you feel like she might be on the same page. If you really truly feel ready to be engaged to this woman then say you know and you don't because you haven't you haven't cited anything specific either. He just says I don't know it would just be a little weird right. Isn't that all he said? What the end of the question say? Yeah he didn't have like a specific like reason that he wouldn't want her to propose to him. So if you know if you know barring something like that and it's okay if you do feel that way by the way,

this is a very personal thing, however you feel is the way you feel. But if you don't feel that way and you feel ready for marriage and be like, yeah, I don't have a problem with it. Yeah. You know, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I mean, I guess in theory, I'd want to, I guess, you know, sounds good to me though.

I kind of feel like a bitch though, if I didn't do it, cause I kind of feel like a bitch though if If I didn't do it because I was like it's either scared or I was like kind of dragging my feet nervous And then all of a sudden now the woman in my life is going like let's put like not not even in a has nothing to do with Like a men power higher over women. It's not even that it's just I would almost feel like oh man like dude I was a bitch totally I would feel like I'm the bitch and she did it But I will tell you this, gun to my head. If you put a gun to my fucking head right now, it ain't good for him.

In my opinion, because I just feel like her going, hey, is it okay? This man proposed to her and she essentially said no. Let's be clear. Well, she didn't, no. I'm with Paul. It's a no, it's a a no because it's a very nice No, it's a very nice stop dating though

No, is we don't get you know what I mean like no is a very night this what I think I think she's a very nice person that had plans to do other things in her life and loves this kid and was with the kid for Two years and then when he made it really real she was like I'm just not ready for that. I love them My family loves them I'm not ready to fucking live and be with this guy constantly. And then she goes to Spain and then she goes, would you be opposed to me doing it? Bies her a lot of time and makes him back off of it.

I think, yeah. Am I nuts? I think you're both being a little, I think you're both looking for the worst and I'm weirdly looking for the best in the situation. And I also, you're both in committed relationships., I think what's going on here is you empathize with the guy and I'm actually empathizing with a girl. As the person who has always dodged the commitment, I can see myself

freaking out when, when I, because I've done this before, where I have fucked, I've fucked up relationships where somebody wanted to date me, I got freaked out, we broke up, we tried to make it work later, and that I have fucked up relationships because too much went down in that weird break period. But I, because I empathize with her, where it's like I could see myself being in her shoes, especially if as a guy you usually are the one

driving the commitment thing, if you're the woman who somebody drops this on you in a time where you're not ready, I could see freaking out needing a little time to think it through on my own. Yes. And then coming to the realization that I fucked up, I almost fucked up this good relationship. Yeah, no, that could be. And so I want to make it up to him by not making him go through the whole, so I, you know, whichever one you,

because we also have a very limited set of facts here, right? Well, we have his voice mail. There's a lot of context for missing. I wish we knew if they lived together, because that would be, that's a huge thing for me. And they're ages, right? It is such a different question if you're in your early 20s versus late 20s or older.

Like if you're 22, then I'm a little more on the, like your guy side, but if you're even in your mid to late twenties and you have a little life experience, then I'm, so anyway, we don't know enough buddy to our callers, so whichever one of our reads feels more real to you, go with it. But I think the ultimate question of, do you have a problem with a woman proposing to you?

I don't think it's a big deal. I think think that sounds kind of nice one less thing you have to fucking worry about but you know you have to just think I think it's more about what you feel about the relationship but and we honestly I would love to know more please up to how when did when did you call scroll up a little bit oh so this was really pretty new too oh well this is really cherry picking the good ones we're about to have some dog shit from the these are all these are all these are all pretty Recent but anyway Please update us if this has happened

Listen to yeah, in fact update us after I mean what I'm saying update us after you listen, of course That's when he's gonna do it God, I'm fucking stupid update us pal. Let us know how this goes. We're missing a little context. We'd love to talk to you. Either give us another voicemail or maybe call in during a live Patreon episode. Can I say one last thing? Sure. I want to say something to all the listeners here and this is a serious thing. If you're dating somebody man, I think you have to wait. If you're dating somebody and you love them and you're with them, I think two things need to happen. It made my relationship, me and Stacy,

this November will be 17 years. Wow, congrats to you. And we went ups and downs, sometimes brutal. After four years, it got rough, then all of a sudden great. You have to live with the person, I think. I think living with the person for like a year and knowing what that's like. Now, oh, we lived together for a few months

It was great. No, no, no, yeah live in a small fucking apartment When I was when I first started to like I didn't have a manager. I first started feature We lived in a 600 square foot. It was like the bathroom. I think it was like tiny It was like tiny and we lived there and it was fucking tough and we got through it And we also dated for four years doing it sooner than that man it's a recipe for disaster yeah you know it really really is man I know the person know being it for years and the last thing I'll say no they're fucking family yeah yeah yeah one thing is when they say you don't just date the person you do the family do you got to gotta know what's sitting at the fucking Thanksgiving table.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that's it. I agree with that. I think that's true. There's a lot of shit, there's a lot of opinions in their ear, so that's all I'll say. Yeah, that's good. That's good general advice. I think that's good advice for our pal here in this predicament.

I think that's gonna do it for us though. Paul, thanks so much for being on the show. Dude, I had such a great time, man. Yeah, check out paulversey.com for my dates. Yep, check out Paul and leave us, leave it, we're going to actually try and make this podcast successful this year I think. So leave us a nice review, give us some 5 stars on iTunes. If you want, there's a free episode, if you want to check it out, we do a bonus episode

every week on Patreon, 5 bucks a month and we have, we do Kush Brothers on there where we get high and do the news once a month. We do live calls so people actually call in, we talk to them, we do that once a month and we have we do Kush brothers on there where we get high and do the news once a month. We do live calls so people actually call in and we talk to them, we do that once a month and we have regular, two bonus regular episodes and we're trying to get a little more creative. We'll probably have other interesting stuff. My brothers come on every once in a while on the Patreon, fun stuff like that. So thanks guys, thanks for listening and we'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye.