Stavvy's World - #66 - Are You Garbage?

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley of the Are You Garbage? comedy podcast make their momentous return to the pod to discuss the as-is section at Ikea, getting ripped off, horrible cars, Ozempic, bone density, how Foley used to play with his bird, and much more. Kevin, Foley and Stav help callers including a husband whose wife of 14 years is mad at him after he confessed that he cheated on her early in their relationship, and an unhinged divorced man who's annoyed that his ex-wife is cutting off their post-divorced affair. Secure your online data with ExpressVPN. Visit https://www.expressvpn.com/stavvy and get an extra three months free. See the Are You Garbage? boys live and follow them on social media: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows www.youtube.com/@areyougarbage https://www.instagram.com/areyougarbage/ https://www.tiktok.com/@areyougarbage https://twitter.com/areyougarbage Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavies World 904-800-STOV. Paul, that's right boys. You think you're the only one who can do a radio intro? The kids got an outline. Call in, we'll solve your problems. We got the RU garbage boys on the couch. How we doing fellas? We're doing good buddy, thank you for having us. Yeah man, always a good time. Good to see you. Good to see you, boys. It's almost a little more than a year. Are you less comfortable on the couch than you were? I thought you were on a zampi.

Have you gotten fat or what's going on? Oh, hey, what's this fucking accusation? Don't break. You're on me, hey. I feel like you were more comfortable on the first one. I just feel like I'm not providing a comfortable first house for my guests. Talk about me being in my head for the next life. First thing, you look very unwell.

I didn't say unwell. I said uncomfortable. Did you get more bloated? No, he's down and I'm down a handful too. Maybe it's a posture thing. I don't know what it is. It could be a posture. I thought I was setting myself up nice. I thought I was falling off this thing. Alright, never mind.

I will say from where. I see more room on that couch. Oh, dude, maybe it's an angle thing. Maybe it's an angle thing. Alright, you know, maybe before it was, there was the comfort of you guys basically hugging. Smudging. What happened, you were using fully as a chair. Yes. So that's what, yeah. So the even one with supports in it, just all like stuff with stuff in ottoman.

He's like, I'll be okay on this dude. And the fans, dude, but they did a snapshot of the beginning and the end. Dude, at the end it's literally this big. It goes from 18 inches down to like two and a half inches. And it's wet in his hair. Oh, great. Oh dude, have you guys done sodas podcast not yet when I did sodas by he that couch is not for the fat

That couch has no back support. I was literally like this. I Was like this and I was trying I was I was like, yeah, no, I'm comfortable dude. It was so embarrassing I spent 17 minutes just like just shifting and like trying to be cool about it and not being like good Christ what is happening? I like a desk. I like a podium nice podiums. I mean you'll notice there's a lot of there's a lot of support on this bad boy Yeah, West down. I wish it's well, you know, I don't wish actually it's like the good folks at IKEA They make a good product every once in a while. The good stuff's good They make a good product every once in a while. The good stuff's good. The good stuff is good.

It's like more expensive, but it's better than spending like, I got this chair for $14.99. You know you're a bozo when you have one of those IKEA fucking cabinets and the bottom falls out, like your underwear drawer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Foley, you look like a guy to me that doesn't really protect his personal data online.

Boy, do I have just the product for you and just the product for our beautiful Stavi's World listeners. ExpressVPN.com. That's right, I personally am an ExpressVPN.com user. Secure your online data today by visiting ExpressVPN.com that's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash stavi and you can get an extra three months free expressvpn.com slash stavi check it out right now I know you need to do that Hank or how shallow the IKEA furniture used to get was

and how thin the fucking drawers were I mean they really do make absolute trash stuff at the lowest levels Sure do it's even worse My wife will go they have the the as is section. It's like shit. It's been broken And she'll show it to me dude. It'll be like a fucking six foot like dresser. She's like how about this? It's already pre-made. I'm like, how are we gonna get that? Yeah, we're gonna get that into our apartment. Yeah, my key is gonna refrigerator door on the front What is the most this interesting and not not to turn the tables on you on your usual?

But how what's the most expensive furniture you guys have purchased probably my okay bed I think You did well we did I bought a yeah king size mattress king size bed Okay, probably I don't know what it was just the size you're not even talking about quality No, you're just saying for the first time in your life. You got a king size Well, the first one I had was through the good folks over at Helix shout out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely I believe we all have Helix or the whole team has Helix mattresses. Yeah, great. Yep. Yeah. I would say bed probably.

Bed, okay. Yeah. That's, come on. Mine's our sectional that we got from, this was years ago that we got, we still have that we got from Wayfair. Okay. What?

That's known dogs here. Cause they got it. The sex trafficking website, I believe, right? Where they saying that like Hillary Clinton was putting women in filing cabinets for Wayfair? It came with two Filipino kids. You gotta feed this kid now. But we paid that off for years.

We paid off a Wayfair couch! You were paying interest on a Wayfair couch! I called him $13,000 a mortgage. I think it was like three grand. He's just paying interest the first year. It's all big. There's no principle being paid down on payments. Yeah.

That's awesome. I think we got that paid off a couple of months ago. There you go, buddy. Congrats. I'm sure it's broken. Congratulations. But the resale goes up on that. How about you?

What's one big thing you splurged on? You know what I actually... Because it's not the couch we're sitting on. We were just talking about how pathetic the studio is. The covers, disgusting. Sure. A lot of diet root beer has been spilled on that. We were probably one of the first people.

You were. You got it fresh. So the chance to go back to how uncomfortable we look at them, we were on a brand new couch. That's true, that's true, that's true. Dude, the ass is being shot out of the... That's true, that's true. A lot of fat people have sat on that.

It's like from a fraternity house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it does have that. You know what, were they, they were the, who was the first we recorded? We only had a handful. Was it them? No, I don't think we were the absolute first. I don't remember the first two.

Because Sam was the first we published, I don't remember the first few. Because Sam was the first we published, but it wasn't the first one. Because there's a chance you're the first people who sat on this cover and you will be the last, because we're taking a break after this. And we will, at the very least, getting you cover, maybe even a new couch.

Oh, there you go. Check out Wayfarer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're financing terms. Fully, can I buy the debt on the thing off you? Give me a third of the sectional I'll take on the toxic asset I gotta say I know I know you're you're smart with your money and stuff like that

But what the things you're doing now I would love to see a monster purchase. Yeah. Yeah I know pulling up somewhere in a Lamborghini I get many friends have been like just buy a car. I literally was driving my my mother well actually I used to drive eldest 2011 eldest purchased a Toyota Corolla that he had no business buying He just went to go to it literally we were In 2011, Eldest purchased a Toyota Corolla that he had no business buying. He just went to go to it. Literally, we were... Man, things are rough when you have no business buying a Toyota Corolla.

Oh, dude, he had no business. Back then, we were fresh out of college. We're fresh out of college. Me and Eldest had... Obviously, everybody knows we know each other forever. He was like, I think I might get it. He was driving his mother's Corolla or Camry at the time, right? Maybe. It's a good car. It was a Corolla a car cars and then last and then you he just went he bought a car and you know

just he was like I'm just gonna go to the dealership gets hustled 100% some fucking greasy cock sucker got a real good story. I'll get it. I saw a young red faced Sula over here and he was like I'm about to bang this little cock sucker for all he's worth Hopefully you can still get a student loan and pay this car I was like I graduated college I got a job making 30,000 a year And I'm living at home. I'm ready to buy a brand new car

That is my mentality so he does this right and? And he has like a year, how long? A year or two? Yeah, it's like a year and a year. Then he's like, I'm moving to New York. Every fat bearded kid from the suburbs, every fat bearded white guy, Brooklyn is like, when they turn 22, it's like there. You have to go for the agency.

He pray love for a fat, you know, for a fat only as well. I hear you can get shawarma at 24 seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's birthright then. Yeah, he was pray love for a fat verse, you know, for a fat only as well. I hear you can get shawarma at 24 cents. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was on birthright back then. Yeah, he was on birthright. He was on, he was on fucking all, you know, indie rock slash random music and flannel birthright. And he sells me, then I, I bang him, like I basically treat him worse than the, than the fucking used car salesmen. I'm like, look, I treat him worse than the, than the fucking used car salesman.

I'm like, look, I know you're fucked here, pal. Sell me the car for less than market value. He's just, stop screaming extra 500 out of me over a sushi lunch. And the most hanging case. I was like, this cocksucker. I'm talking about the sushi like he was a client. You're a full suit. That's right, $30 all you can eat sushi. That was a $470.

I was up $470 on that fucking sushi lunch. You're not going to make money, maybe. You gave him a Raven's helmet for all the deal. So then I had it and then I sold it to my brother when I moved to New York. And then I got it back from him. And then I was driving it got it back from him and then I was driving on him. Kind of repo it?

No my brother's also dumb you know European trash he was like I need a brand USUV when he did the exact same thing Eldis did. I was trying to be like don't be like Eldis we're smarter than Albanians don't do this and he immediately just gets you know he makes the same thing $30,000 job. Well I think like dirt bags get like four grand in their checking account. They're like the world No, my brother couldn't handle it Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so he I so I got then I buy it back for my brother and now my mother is driving it in Baltimore But that was that's the that's the last car I purchased and it was from eldest and then from my brother

I you know, but I don't you know I don't drive Core Lola, baby. She's still she's still kicking that thing got worn down. I was like it was like seeing your ex with a shit bag Some guys don't know how to treat Rest was like dented The fucking armrest was like dented in. You looking for this guy? I loved you. Yeah.

Dude, I went to, I had a Kia for a long, when the pod started doing okay, I crashed, I had a 2005 Mercury Montego, crashed into a taxi cab, had to get a new car. Love that. They gave me, I think like a, Was it your fault? Yeah.

The Montego, yeah. The Montego, I crashed, they didn't even go through insurance or anything, I just smashed it up. Wow. Smash mine and I was just like, I gotta get rid of this. It's like, it could get stuck in crashed. They didn't even go through insurance or anything. I just smashed it up. Wow. Smash mine. And I was just like, I got to get rid of this. It could get stuck in park, and I couldn't get it out of the drive.

I used to like, if I had to pull up somewhere where there was valet, I would just, I had a note saying like, hey, just keep working it. It'll lose it out. It was written on the back of an air freshener package. It just gets stuck sometimes. Just keep working it. Where on earth were you going in that car? They had that way well that's a loose

Yeah, I trumped it up that's a live ballet at CC's pizza buffet No, they're all they Don't leave it running. Some like parking lots. Like you would go to in the city, you'd have to turn your car over to them. But so then I had, then I crashed out. The only car I could get was a Kia. Was a 2021 Kia Forte.

They were the only people that would give me a new car. My credit was so bad, I had no money. They were the only people that would give me a new car. So I was like, all right, well, you know, I've been driving this car that's like in 15 years older, whatever like, yeah, awesome brand new car. Yeah, never had one. This is amazing Yeah, so I get that and then like a year and a half later that gets stolen by the key of always get it That's gone. Oh, yeah, because Kia in fact Baltimore City. I believe is suing Kia everybody They're so easy to steal they're like you just kind just kind of, you know. It's crazy, dude.

So like, we ended up finding it. There was like, dude smoking crack in it. It was crazy. It was not. I apologize. Foley from the past. He got a time machine. We were at Dalsons Creek.

24-year-old Foley with a time machine. Didn't think to see what stocks were doing good. Didn't think to get knowledge to bring back to the past. He was like, I know I could get know I could smoke some crack in this Kia. Is that Kippy's Kia? It's Koli's my boy. He gave me permission. So I'm just like fed up.

I'm like, you know what? I've never had like a really, I'm going to buy a fucking nice car. And I wanted, for whatever reason, I had a Lincoln aviator stuck in my head. Lincoln aviator. Yeah, the navigator's too big for this city. It's too big.

Aviator, I think you could only cook too big. It was a little big. So my wife was like, yeah, that's too bad. I was like sending her pictures. She was visiting family in Germany. So I'm like, I'm fucking, I'm just, I'm like. I'm getting a Lincoln aviator. I'm getting a aviator, so I'm a middle-class black father I'm a light-skinned guy with a fucking tan hat on with a driving to church

Per Stacey Adams on it. Car was spotless. Dude, I just like go and this young real fucking, this real ambitious can real smooth talk quick talker, like talking over you and shit. And I was like dude, you're like, I'm leaving with a car. I don't have a car. I'm leaving. I have to leave with a car.

This you can only fuck this up. And I checked my credit before I went it was like 715 or something. I read a bill. I got it when I first knocks you right there when you check it. Yeah So I go and he's like yeah, and I'm like, you know, I'm kind of fucking I'm big dickin a lot I'm feeling good. I'm like I'll take that like I take the one is like a customer give me seat warmers I want the cameras. I want and I've made four payments. I've made four car payments on time in a row Give me every every day My car payment for the key was like I think like two hundred and thirteen dollars

My car payment for the key was like I think like two hundred and thirteen dollars It's a fucking payment. Yeah, I mean, so I'm like I got it. You know, I'm like, yeah He's like what do you do? I'm like I'm a big commie. I'm like Don't know me I'm in a Lincoln dealership in Newark, Jersey. Yeah Fucking keys Give me the fucking keys, Cox. He Googles you. He's like, you only have $2,000. Yeah, he drops it. He actually drops it.

He Googles you. He drops the price. He's like, I don't feel right. You can't do this. I don't feel right charging you this much, man. I've seen your digital footprint. I was just saying you're playing at the learning annex, man. What's the grizzly pair?

So I fucking, I go, all right, I want this one. He's a guy cool So he's like calling up the credit people and there's some kind of weird thing like I see the the The speed bumps start right I've been I've been turned down from enough person Yes, my life that I can see this going Interesting that's so funny you've gotten turned down multiple times Desk and walk somewhere else, you know you're in this a bit, it's not looking good. I knew I was jammed up when he goes,

let me just call him. I'm like, oh, this ain't good. Let me try the other computer. Yeah. So like they got got, there's like a, there's like, they're all in the case. There's like the, you know, the lending officer, the, the ma- now I know I'm jammed up

because the main salesman, they pulled rank on him, he's got no swing. He's like, come on, come on, he's trying. He wants to commission. He's begging, so I'm like, I'm fucked. You guys got no shoes on, you can't sell my car. But at this point, I already picked the one from the show, like I test drive one, but then like, it had like a cool color package, the seats,

the leather seats were like brown. The outside was green. It was like dark green. I'm like, that's the one I want. And it was on the floor in the showroom. So they opened, I'm like, they're like, get this ready, this guy's buying this. They starts doing the wheels. They have to open up the front of the dealership

to pull the car out. Oh my God. And as he's pulling it out and everybody, dude, now there's a, see everybody's, oh, they got the big scissors out. The mayor's there. There was another guy getting, I'm like, I'm getting this one,

an older guy, I'm like, this one, I'm taking this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit, all right. So it's like, it's a to-do. Unless you want to go havesies on it. And every other weekend. He's like, can you be my co-signer? You asked the other guy buying the card at Coastline for you?

Dude, so they're pulling it out, and they want somebody came and fucking, she was like, no, hold up, hold, dude. And I am so embarrassed. I'm like, you bring me here, you embarrass me in front of these places. I'm like, I'm walking. I'm gone. She's like, hold on, hold on.

This guy has $4,000 in blackbuster credit card debt. He has a Walden Books credit card. Well the thing they told me, they were like, nobody does this. Like let's say the payment was like $700 or $600 or whatever it was. They were like, nobody goes from a $200 payment to a $700, like only drug dealers and remember to do that. Right, right, right. And they're like, so we can't approve you. Oh, because the key was too shitty. $200 payment to a 700 only drug dealers and Because the key it was too shitty it was too shit like give me the key. I'm like, I'm not giving you that I'm not getting involved. Just give me the car right and I ended up fucking no deal That's embarrassing dude, oh, so did you get anything and you end up getting a different car idea

I bought a used Mercedes SUV of car you end up getting a different car? I did, I bought a used Mercedes SUV off-car bonnet. That's awesome. For sure was in a flood. Yeah. This thing is not great. Yeah, you still got it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, hell yeah, dude. Was that the scammer you were, earlier you were talking about a time you got scammed? No, I said I had a bit, no, that was the, the, just the dealership story. Okay, okay. No scam, just jammed up. I know, I know you've gotten scammed many times. There's no way scammed I mean I guess other than prostitutes, maybe not told you about the couch you already told Not never really been scammed before I don't think I mean yeah, I ate a hooker one time

hooker one time. Business and that just happens. That's a, you know, that's part of the cost of doing business. I was all numbers game. I was all strung out years and years and years ago when I was up here. The first time I was living at sunny side. Um, uh, I was looking for a party girl. I believe you told this story. Well, I was listening to the balloon pot.

The share. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, it's another time. Believe it or not, he got more than one bucket of slime. Thanks for rubbing that in. Oh yeah, it was the same time. You told us you were a good loser. Nah, I was like, yeah, party girl, party girl, whatever, and they're like, okay, and then there was a knock at the door and she's like, hey, you got to give me the money, I got to go get it. And she wasn't even dressed sexy. She was wearing like a flannel shirt and a UPS shirt on. She was like a middle-aged lady. She's like, I'll be right back. I'm like, all right.

Handed her like 600 bucks. As soon as that closed the door, I was like, aw. Yeah. She ain't coming back. Yeah. Yeah. But other than that, no. Oh, interesting.

No. I've never had any money to get, and I'd like that I would buy something big enough where a scam would be involved. You know what I mean? It was like, yeah. Like, I remember a fake ID. I got kind of scammed. There was light scammed on a scam would be involved. You know what I mean? It was like, yeah. Like I remember a fake guy, I got kind of scammed,

light scammed on a fake ID. Okay. Where it was like, I just didn't look like the guy, but I don't even, there had been already so many steps. That he's your guy? And I was like, yeah, he just was like,

and he was like eight years older than me. I was like, look, nothing like him. And I was like, well, I don't want this guy to think I'm not cool. It's like just such loser behavior. Sure, of course. Where I'm like, I should just be like, ah, I'm good, man guy to think I'm not cool. I was like, just such loser behavior. I'm like, I should just be like, I'm good, man. How much was that?

I don't want to say the ID. Probably 80 bucks. Yeah, we that just brought that back. We did get scanned from an ice cream guy in our neighborhood. You say the Chaco taco. He gave me a screwball. He would buy us beer. We were young.

I mean, we were like 14 maybe. And we all had, there was like seven of us. We all gathered the money we had. It was probably like a hundred bucks. We were like here, man, go. And he came back with half a six, like three beers. And I was like here you go guys.

And then she's like oh. You're being handling dude. What are you doing? But also we didn't know how much beer costs. So we were like, thanks, man. And everybody, he drove away, we're like, we just all got fucking wet. Yeah, yeah. Could be a lot, that story could be a lot worse, you know, that's kind of asking to

get molested right there. Yeah, sure. He was a nice guy. Yeah, yeah. I was just paying the bozo tax. Of course, of course. I never did, I always had like family family member Greek people will really buy you booze Sure, no one ever really I never really had to like ask a stranger. We never did that

Do you have a booze in the house all the time too? Was there booze in your house? Not really I have a sneaking suspicion Well, my grandfather was an alcoholic okay time and I think my mom kind of and I have a sneaking suspicion that my father If he drank more would have been because the only members I have of my suspicion that my father, if he drank more, would have been. Because the only members I have of my dad drunk, he is so insanely fucked up. Really? Like there's videos of him at like my brother's baptism. And he's literally being carried out of a baptism.

And he wasn't a drunk like my dad, you know, he wasn't. And then one time there's some, I think it literally might have been another baptism. Maybe the boy just like getting lit at Baptist Sure, sure It was the same place shout out to Jimmy Seafood a lot of baptisms happen there in Dundalk, Maryland And I was like 15 I just got my learners permit and I've been begging him I was like can you take me Driving like I really want and he was like no no, it's you know, you're not ready yet

And then he was so shit-faced. She was like, time for your first lesson. And it was just get him home from Jimmy Ceboot. I'll be snooping in the back. I had never driven. He had a huge white work trip van. Hit McDonald real quick. Yeah, it was crazy. And there was a big fucked up curve in that road.

Like I know it's not a long drive. It's mostly just you go down one street, but the street kind of curves. Tactical. You got to be on it. And I had never driven and I just you I was like 15 okay and so I just take I'm straight up in the other lane like I just I'm not prepared for the curve and I just like it's like the road goes this way and the van is just going straight through dude and I he literally just yanked it drunk as shit from me and then I was was like, oh, I'm scared.

And then he's like, all right, I'll park it. He's sitting next to eating coconut shrimp. Fuck him. Dude, fuck job. He was like, good job. And then the next day he was like, I guess play it off. Like it was all part of his plan. He's like, OK, time for your next lesson.

And then he just tries to get me on the highway immediately. Really? And then he's like, ugh, pull over. Like I failed him. You know what I mean? Just classic dad bullshit. Where he's like, you're just not ready. It's like, how about a parking lot in like a sedan

before the highway in your white work van? For sure, he wouldn't pass inspection. No chance, no chance. Yeah, it was one of those with only the two seats in the front and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, rattling around and shit in the back. I feel like you got to have, you always had to have that moment with your dad when he was teaching. It always had to be a little friccist, a little trouble, a little argument. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean that was the only, he literally, those two times and one time he had a parking lot

and then he was like, and then he was like, whatever. Do you ever do lessons or anything? With driving school. Yeah, yeah. With the two-seater, with the guy on the other side? Guy on the other side. Oh, shit. It was a, it was a, there was a guy teaching and then there was like a, like Asian lady

who I think I was just like, who taught me how to parallel park and it was like, and I was in love with her for teaching me like basic information. She was like a, you know what I mean? Sure. Like maybe a five, but I'm a teenager. Sure. Who's like, any woman. You're in a car with know maybe a five but I'm a teenager sure who's like any woman any woman I'm that close quarters with and I was like

hey mom you think maybe we get a get up a little holiday basket for fucking and my mom was like you will never see that woman again I will not waste my cookies on her my mom was pissed that I even suggested we give her a gift I like you try to close though. Yeah, I mean I don't know what I thought was gonna happen. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna need some extra parking. You need ideas though. Anna said cookies ought to put you over the top.

Fuck, what was it called? It was such a, and my driving school was so funny. It was all, I mean it's in like Dundalk, Maryland, right? I've talked about it quite a bit. It's our track, it's our kinda track, you know, the Delco? I believe it's the equivalent. And it was just like

the fucking stupidest people you've ever met in your life. And there's people that had gotten like failed a bunch of times, and there was like one guy who was like, had a DUI and had to go to class. And it was just like, and then a lot of them knew each other, but yeah, I just wanted to fuck this like this just like lady who talked because

she was probably 30 at most yeah you're 15 of course anyone who's not sure anyone over 22 you're like 40 yeah you know we did do driving school but we had to do insurance class insurance class yeah like to get our, to get our, a better insurance rate. Cause we were young drivers. We had to go, after we went and took our tests, we had to go to the community college and take a, like a class, like four Saturdays in a row.

And then you were able to turn that into the insurance company and they give you like a decent rate. Like a safety class, like how do you do this, how do you do that. But it was all kids from different schools. There were no computers. This is the nice thing when you remember that Fully has a generation on everyone. Like there's probably no computers involved in your drive.

No, nothing was on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was no like taking the permit that's not a computer. That was it. She was going on a rock. What was the first car? What was your first car? First car was a 1988 Chevy Spectrum spectrum? Oh older than me and eldest

A little stick shift that my dad bought for us Like 500 bucks because it was it was taking my brother's car But I got it when he when he went to college But I remember there was such a fucking piece of shit of a kid like thinking like Chevy Like I didn't know what it was and you couldn't look it up back right and it was this little shitty hatchback I remember when he pulled up with it like he went to work he got his buddy to take him to work so he can drive the car up and drive it home and he pulled in the driveway with it and he got out of the car and I

walked out I was like that's it oh Oh, what a little son. You're a little son. What a piece of shit. You've done nothing in your life. Probably a bad grade. You're probably a bad son. Nothing but trouble. Yeah. Nothing but headache. Are you fucking kidding me?

Probably three months of a salary. Yeah, you do. Bad piece of shit. You're like fine, I'll drive this drunk. Yeah. But I'm not going to like fine. I'll drive this drunk Jimmy get your Ungrateful penis touched in the Chevy and the Chevy spectrum. I don't think On the weekends, I would take his truck. He had a cool Nissan truck that I would take. Okay, okay, okay.

And that, and then the Maxima once or twice. Okay. With my high school girlfriend, we hooked up in there. Nice. It's not my scene though. I'm not really that, back to car now. Well, you weren't fat back then. No, I was like a buck 70.

Yeah, because that is certainly a limiting factor. The fat are you get. If I had to have sex in a car right now, it would have to be like a U-Haul. And not even the smallest one they have. It would have to be the one up from the. Is it a box truck? It would have to be their smallest box truck.

Couldn't be a cargo van. Yeah. But it's funny you mentioned that because yesterday, this might be a little too graphic. I apologize. I apologize. I was pleasuring myself yesterday. Thank you for editing. You were about to say jerked off

and you said you were pleasuring yourself. So there I am, whaling on myself. And I was able to go down and do it like normal. Like that. I swear to God, I haven't been able to do that in years. Wait, wait, wait, you can't like you mean it was it'd be too Uncomfortable Wow, that's that's a big milestone for let me ask you this

Let me ask you this How did you jack off then if you were if that was very unique? I'd love to learn about this funny you mentioned This is great. It's so disturbing. I can't wait to hear it because I'm fatter than I've ever been. Still no problems regular jacking off. And I have a small penis. I don't think I have any long arms.

I would only tell you this. Thank you. Thank you. This is going to open up a whole new world of fat jerking off for me. This is exclusive right here. So for some reason, ever since I was a little kid, I've been very aware of the Fremulon. The Fremulon?

Do you know what I'm talking about? Is it the thing in the middle? Underneath the head where all the sensitivity is. Which is, a lot of times, snip when we're affected. As a snipped man. As a snipped man myself, they snip me a little too long. Right, right, right, right. You need to hit it with a blow torch.

Right, right, right, right. Doc, I said it trim, you know? I see what you're saying, the little, right under the head. The hook, yeah. The Benjo string. Yeah. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Let me tell you, I play like a little,

ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming ming He's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, he's a big boy, Yeah, the fiddle bow. So I just- Jacking off, is that the answer for all you play? You play with the fucking- Pull out my bow. I got it like a slide guitar. Jacking off with the theremin.

Those glasses over your dick. Like Peter Frim to the thing. No, you feel like I do. Oh, so I rubbed that. I rubbed that. Oh, rub. Yeah. That's it.

Like a clit. Like a scruff, yeah. You literally jack off like a woman. He finger-loved himself. You literally finger your clit. Literally. You flick your own clit. And the fatter that I got.

The fatter that I got, I wouldn't really be able to get hard. So I could do it when I'm soft. And no one's done the work. You've got a way to soft Jack off. Dude, no for-prank. The code, what do you mean? He just starts fingering himself. Absolutely, dude.

We need fat history, month. Gentlemen. You're our George Washington Carver. We need, like, yeah, age fully, long after his penis ceased to be hard, figured out a way to pleasure himself. And then in the early 2000s, we fully got so heavy. Well it started actually because of cocaine that he couldn't get hard. But then it transferred nicely when he became morbidly obese. Also I love the determination of he's like sitting there wailing on himself. He can't get hard.

He's like, all right, fucking, I'm going into the sniper. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Just like dude imagine, just fucking wailing on yourself till it works. That's crazy.

Well, I did used to do a very primitive method of this, I think, was probably part of it. I was a rub my dick on my hand as a child. Sure. So similar clit style jerking off. Yes. But you know, I have since mastered. You've learned better.

I have since mastered the classic. Sure. The classic method of, you know. Now would you have to walk women through licking your clit? No, I wouldn't have. That's just for you. Yeah, it gets a vibrator out. That's just for me.

Oh, I don't know, maybe. I wouldn't do that. Did I ever have anybody do that? You should start. I would if your butt and let him press it. I never felt comfortable. Up down. Let's go. You can get pegged and get your little dick rubbed, dude. Doesn't sound bad. He's speaking my language.

He's never going to leave your house. You're going to cut more of those Dr. Browns in me. You'll find out, big boy. I'm never going to your house. You gotta cut more of those Dr. Browns in me. You don't find out, big boy. I'm never gonna get him in a studio. Fully getting his tits on, just pussy rubbed in his ass fucks. Yeah. It's got all makeup on and stuff.

Walking out with a broken pair of high heels. That sounds fucking awesome, right? Hey, boys. I might have had a, I might have showed somebody that once. Right. Yeah. Right.

Didn't last too, that's too powerful knowledge for her yeah she wasn't pretty turn on yeah I mean listen when you're not I I've definitely you know I have found in my scientific studies women really are troopers when your dick doesn't get really are Really really rare maybe it's different for a skinny guy whose dick doesn't get hard Mm-hmm, but I do think there's something when if you've signed up to fuck you there me or Foley Yeah, you got a sneaking suspicion. There's a 30% chance you're getting hard dick But you have to enter into an agreement with that you know that you've laid all your cards on the table right this is probably the last time you're gonna see this person

no it's gonna do it and be cool feeling an asshole about it right that's the trade-off one step once they're gone that's it I don't know I you know that's so if they come back you barrier yeah yeah yeah I've definitely had people make a you know been like all right. That's enough for me, but I don't think I've ever had that I don't think I've ever never not been hard. I don't think so After the second time or something like you know Second discreet meeting no like after like if, like if I've, you know, I'm a premature ejaculation in myself. You buzz fast, I see.

You don't have to be exact opposite. Kid me. Too much excitement. Too much, I'm red buff. See that's the thing, yeah, yeah. Dude, anyone can stay hard for 30 seconds. I think my dick is hard the first four minutes of sex. It's the back.

Four minutes, what are you, a porn star? Jesus Christ. When I know my dick's no good. I'm like, please, a lot of ladies out there. I'm like, I'm a collingual over here. What are you a porn star? When I know my It's just sometimes I just know I'm like I Gotta get we got to get the penetration fast. I can feel that where I'm like I'm wasting a lot of hard dick in my jeans right now Sucking on titties on the couch. We got to get this in a pussy fast

Sir we don't know how much longer we keep this up it's like in my balls putting fucking shoveling coal into my balls to keep my dick hard you're holding the line at best it is going to sleep sir his spinners cannot stay out the dick pill he got from the gas station it was just a They need reinforcement, or they will all die. The dick pill he got from the gas station was just a melatonin. It is not going to work. Those are great. Gas station dick pills? No, not gas station, but the real guys.

Yeah, they're all right, man. We are living in a pharmaceutical revolution. They are making it so easy to stay incredibly fat. They're making it so that you could burn, you could just burn bright. You know what I mean? Like they're like, look, we'll keep your dick hard. Don't worry about what happens in 50, 60. You know what I mean? It's like, use it all up now.

Sure. A lot of dick pills, a lot of Adderall, a lot of like, you know, you can, you can punish your body and make it functional against God's will. Yeah. With pharmaceuticals, yes, absolutely. Keep you up, keep you in the race. Yeah, that's right, that's right. That's all about it.

Well, congrats on being able to grip your hard cock. Thank you, man. Thank you. That's what we like to hear around here. It just happened naturally yesterday. It was crazy because I was going to do my move. Right. And you're like, what's this yeah a

hard cock that should be the ozepic commercial now I'm back to jerking off like a normal human being. Taxosempics. I'm still at a barbecue with the burgers. That's a good bit. That's dirtbagosempic. My dick gets hard. Interesting. Yeah, dude, I've thought, I've laid my plan out. I'm just, I'm watching you like a whole, I'm trying to get the charts from your doctor. I'm basically like-

You're, he's the guinea pig. Is he gonna survive this? You don't have like- He's on defense. I'm looking at fully, I'm like, let're he's the guinea pig. Is he gonna survive this? Let's see his bone density scans Density of a mockingbird. You kidding me? It's snap my fingers. Boy's got hollow bones. Snap my fingers like a pencil.

I'm like, yeah, put on this breathing apparatus and get on this treadmill. It's for a sketch, fully. He's got notes all over it. I would say, unless it's the stuff that, you know, you don't know, which I guess that's what the worry is with it. Right, right, right. I don't- Sure, that's the stuff to worry about.

I don't really feel anything like that. It's just the immediate side effects is what sucks. And I don't know how bad that is for you. Right, right, right. You were saying burping and shit? Yeah, the burping and all that stuff like it's slowing down your digestion. I don't- Obviously, I'm sure there's a concern what that does to the colon or the intestine having like that stuff sit there or whatever. I think it's coming out now, like I've seen more and more stuff like it's like, now like every week there's more and more doctors

or people being like, this is raw. I just saw something. So it's not even made in the US. It's made by European. Man I'm jerking off free here. Then you hear what the guy said about his hard, about his hard job. That's a win for fat guys everywhere.

You start slapping year round. Well there is, there is the thing of like, yeah it's probably not good for you, but like, was there, is it the way I live? No, for sure. It felt good for me, you know what I mean? But it's also like, I think the thing is like, already he's gonna do this, the plan,

you know, the plan is to get off it at some point. I'm off it now. Oh you are? Yeah. Oh nice. Yeah, I took my last one, it was like a week and a half ago. Wow, okay. Now what you need to do is measure how hard your cock is

to see if it's, if you stay effective. It's not even body weight, it's like cock hardness is the number one metric for you. That blood flow, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, keep the little guy going. Yeah, I'm off. And it's weird because, it's funny, yesterday was like, where I felt like, I had like a rush of like,

not energy, but like I felt good because you really feel, you feel like you're sick most of the time. Really? Yeah, you feel like you have like a stomach bug. And that's so fucking weird. Dude, the first time he took it, he's so stupid the first time he took it,

they were like, hey man, these side effects are gonna be real bad in the first 48 hours or whatever. I think it it's gonna be rough and we were like we were getting ready to do like a fucking six-day Six-city run and he shows up to the airport. He's like I took it last night. What? We're off the road next week for four months Why would you do it and then get on 17 planes? get on 17 planes. This is insane dude. How horrible was that? You walk into Cleveland and be like, oh. Why would you do this to yourself? So what was the first 48 like? That wasn't the first that that wasn't the first 48. That was when I was the first dose. I remember going, why wouldn't you wait until we're all

this is our last run? Now, I think that was the first if I'm not mistaken, that was the first like full dose because my endocrinologist really like I didn't just start with you up I don't yeah, she really she really did it was when that really started kicking in I think no no It was the first time it was the first time you ever took scene right vividly remember walking through I think like Indianapolis being like you are fucking stupid We have a four month break after Friday. Why would you do this? We have to cover seven states.

I don't think the Burbson shit had started then though. No, no, no, that was after the, yeah. It just felt horrible. It feels like, like you just had chemo or something. Yeah, it's just gross. Brutal. Give me a ginger ale. But as a jumping off point, you know, like again,

I don't know what the, you know, the long-term side effects and all that kind of shit are, but I'm pretty good with like going to the doctor and like my blood work and, you know, all that kind of shit. I think the best way to use it would be like, like he got this huge thing, like this huge kickstart to be like, all right, this is the impetus I'm changing, moving forward.

My goal is I'm gonna keep the Foley tab open another six months. Sure. See if he makes it. He buys on him. Yeah, he buys on him. I'm binoculars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, before you leave. Hell, this is terrible. Hell, this tag him under the banjo string. Put a little tab, put a little stop is real We're getting some interference. He must be jacking off again He shut down and that I yeah, that's interesting because I like a part of me was like I'm gonna try and lose weight Like just you know I have a lot of time off right now

And then I was thinking like it might be nice to get on it the next tour Where it's like or maybe a little bit before you want to manage it Yeah, but just like symptoms the learning the symptoms stuff But like just that's that's always fucked my ass is when you get back on the road. Okay. I'm not Yeah, they say the manjaro or whatever it's called man Manjur. Yeah. Yeah. Is the symptoms are a lot. The side effects are a lot less. And that is I think if I'm not mistaken that's a little more designer. That's a little more. Sure. Specifically. Refine for weight. Wow. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Interesting. Big J told me about something. I can't remember the name

but some acronym like ICB or something like that. It's just telling you about the insane clown possibly He's losing a lot of weight because he has like lead paint on his face It's juggerlo lead paint on his face. He looks fucking great Slim down, but no, there's something that you can take. And I did start to take probiotics and stuff like that and digestive enzymes that alleviate that a little bit. I love it. But I just saw something that it's a European company and they're not allowed to sell it in Europe.

Hilarious. So like, and they're like. Which one? All Monjoro and or Monjoro and fucking Ozympic are made by the biggest European pharmaceutical company. And Europe is obviously, is like, what are you nuts? And they literally just do their like

annual reportings or whatever, and it's like through the roof, dude, Ozympic. They record their biggest profits ever, and they're not even selling to the market. God damn it. Nobody's fat over there like that though. That's the other thing, yeah, they don't have the level of pig we have over here.

They got one or two, you know what I mean? It's like, they might, like, my uncle is fat as shit, and even he is like, he's like the fattest guy I know in Greece. It's like, yeah, exactly. It's like, George Costanza, we're like. He is fatter than Costanza, don't get me wrong. He said, I put the shit in the food over there,

like they put it over here. I do, I actually, I mean, it is, that is a stupid thing to say and think and I but I believe it too You know, I mean it's like nah the food's different But then I see my fat ass uncle who's had diabetes for 30 years Get fatter get a little fatter every year and survive and I'm like yeah their food is and he eats like a fucking animal I mean, I think it's I think it's like very well documented that it's yeah better Well, I see there's a lot of poison in all our food. Yeah, that's like to put a little poison in there, which I don't mind

We need to use like all natural cleaners. I'm like that shit don't work You know you're saying your wife grew up in Germany grew up in Germany German German German German moved here when we got married you know Germany's the only country that you say that she's like German German yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah That is rare dude. That is rare. Well they were chatting. And they were like, yeah, get her out. Send her to America. Yeah. I remember she was like, I'm not sure if I want to move to New York. I'm like, you are behind enemy.

Like, we love you here. Come on, what are you doing? But yeah, so she's like very, like, you know, like she like laughs at IE peanut butter and stuff. She's like, that's what they feed starving kids in Africa. Like, wait on them. They can't wrap, Europeans can't wrap their head around it. That is a very interesting, like, Philly Trash

and a European marriage is very funny. Dude, she doesn't under, like, she's genuinely, she sees my family and like, we went out, we just went out with my mom too, we took her out to like, to a proper European Italian spot. Not like chicken masala and chicken fray. There's no chicken. It's like actual Italian.

No cutlets. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Something Matteo would go to. Yes, very much. And my mom was like, I don't like that. I don't know this. What is this? What is that?

Where's the cream cheese? Can we get more bread please? Can we have some elbow noodles with cream cheese and fried chicken cutlets? Yeah, oh, zucchini flowers are so good. And she's just like, you guys drink so much and you eat, like, dude, if we go down to the Jersey Shore in the summer, it's like, cheese steaks, pizza, burgers,

like there's not a salad inside. That's so fucking cool. And she's like, this is crazy. She's like, do you need to start drinking on the beach at noon? I'm like, yeah, what are we doing here? That's fucking awesome. Love wins, dude. Yeah.

That's beautiful. You win World War II? Yeah. Fucking make me call the bullies back. Fucking go over there and level the plate. That's awesome. Have you ever had, there's never been like a family like uh? Like some kind of like you know sitcom situation were both fan like my wedding was the one time that they everybody kind of Together and that was jarring for like

You know everybody It was like a GRI problem where like everybody was on the one side. And then, oh my god, this is on the other side. The germs all have lab coats and safety goggles on them. They're great in that case in clipboards. They're in ashmatsuits. Don't touch them. It's definitely a culture clash. But like everybody got to get like them.

And also it's so far that they don't mingle a whole bunch. Like my mom and her mom are, you know, pretty cool together. And like they hang when like whatever. But yeah, it's like, I mean, but it's like, I thought it would be like, oh yeah, we'll figure this out in like three months, but it's like every day. I'm like, no, I don't do stuff that way.

No, Oreos are staying in the house. Stop throwing away the double stuffed Oreos. They're vegan. Dude, she's just, yes, I need them and the cakester Oreos. They're different, they scratch a different itch. One is a hard cookie, one is soft. Can I ask you that, do you like the cake stir Oreos. They're different. They scratch a different itch one is a hard cookie one is soft Can I ask you that do you like the cake stir? I don't but I was looking for some for the riff Cakey is no good usually yeah, you can really taste the preservatives and when you came with a cracker based Yeah, those aren't great

the funniest thing of this is there's a By down by my mom's there's this like Italian Gelato's like prop like it's not ice cream. Yes, I ain't gelato and my wife loves it So we were all out to there. She's like we're going there. I'm buying she's she's telling us the kids. It's ice cream Yeah, yeah, she's they show up and what's a fruit base. Yeah, she's like, we're going there, I'm buying. She's telling us the kids it's ice cream. Yeah, yeah. So they show up and they're like, And what's the fruit base? Yeah, it's like rhubarb and the fucking dude.

Like ginger routine. The kids all took a bite. We're like, this sucks. I'm like, yeah, yeah, it's just, give dryers up the middle, what are we doing here? Nice shallot ice cream. Yeah, it was like, yeah. Yeah, just get a box of the fucking cardboard,

black and white cookies that don't melt the ice cream sandwiches Yeah, yeah, yeah, those that you literally hold their shape have the yellow around them. Yeah, yeah I'm like we're not fancy people and we're not even trying to improve. Yeah, we found out who we are That's what we're doing. Jelano is a really good like example of it. Yeah middle ground I think because Jelano is third, you know, there's it's so sweet. Itato is a really good example of it. It should be a middle ground, I think. Because gelato is so sweet, it's so rich, it's so good, but they give you a little thing of it. And I want the fucking, you know,

I want the mixing bowl of it. Of course, I believe there's less milk fat in real gelato as well. That's part of it. That's so good though. It is good. What was the menu at the wedding, dude? At my wedding? Yeah, yeah real small because we did a...

Totino's We did a we did a we rented out the basement of the Smith in the East Village Because it was a city hall wedding and there was like that's nice 40 of us So we rented that out and it was just like you know state There was like a little bit of everything. Yeah, kind of family style. That's nice. Yeah, it was all right Yeah, open bar no big deal. You gotta have open bar. Well, that's what she said too She's like do we need cuz they're like oh, it's 80 bucks a person. She's like you need an open bar I'm like, I mean that they won't show up my family will not we can cut it in half

No, it's true. Don't have a wedding if it's not open dude, especially New York if they were charging my uncles like $28 They be sneaking in coolers. Yeah. I was at one and we got, they handed us two drink tickets. I was like, what is this? Oh my, at a wedding? Yeah. Fuck that.

Oh, that's brutal. Brutal. Ooh, that hurt me. I don't even want to get- I wouldn't take them just out of that. I just went and paid full price. I'm not fucking using a drink ticket. I had a principle. I could have pulled my way out of that shit. Yeah. Fucking open my shit. Fucking drink ticket. I was I just went and paid full price Using a drink

What can I get with this me feel like a kid in an arcade Can I get three spiderings and a shot of James? I'm gonna bet that marriage is not gonna last Yeah, yeah, yeah, no they would they were both, you know, they're both very you know frugal and stuff like that And they were they were they were on a tight budget, okay, which I get yeah, but will it last or not? I don't know. I think so you think so. Yeah, we don't want to blow him up further. I just I just think I'm making a move Tell that guy how to grab my friend one. Fuck it. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. Well, I should remember you're talking about Mark Norman's wedding

No, no, it was a great way to drink tickets like it did I it was awesome It was incredible, but I know in Mark's heart. He was like a lot of money It was a great wedding I have to tip my, it's truly incredible. He came in to record, he recorded an episode with him like the week before, like Tuesday and like every, even Friday or something. And then on like Wednesday, he texted a folly, hey, if you and Kevin want to come to the wedding, come on down to see him. It's not an open house. He's the man too, because he literally like tacked on a show to his wedding.

Yeah. He, the night before. because he literally, like, tacked on a show to his wedding. Yeah. The night before. It's all right off. Yeah, literally the night before they did a fucking show, and it was like every comedian who came in a day early, just hilarious. That's a good time. Did he have like oysters on a half-shell float or what?

Dude, it was incredible. It was a shocking station. No, no, no. I want to say, as cheap as Mark is most of the time, it was the opposite for his wedding. You have to tip your hat. And that's, honestly, how it should be. That truly that truly is out should be there's a couple things in your life That are a big deal you should split go all out. You know what I mean like fucking anyway, it's easy for you to say

Yeah, I'm in the middle of playing a one right now Oh, here we go. I've never been scammed before. The Patreon episode has been the planning of his wedding, and he is retarded. This whole year, he has been getting scammed. I got fucking doing a room block, and I find out that if you don't hit the number, you got to pay for all those nights.

I'm like, what the fuck? First of all, he comes and goes, I got us a great deal on rooms. I go, all right, how much? He goes, 650 a night. I'm like, where the fuck are we staying? 650 a night. Why are you gonna find that in Wilmington?

Are you kidding me? Also tell him the day why we're on it. I'm getting married in Hawaii three days before Christmas. Oh my god. Dude, flights are already. Are you fucking kidding me? Flights are already. You're so shredded. Already in St. James. You're saved that they should be here Dude, flights are already in fulling, dude.

You're so stupid. You're saying that they should be here in a couple of days. I'm looking for you to spread a little cash around. That's fucking insane, dude. Oh, three days before fucking Christmas. Yeah, well, here's the thing. It works out perfectly. Here's the thing. I'm an idiot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, you know, not a busy travel time No one's gonna want to be with her family Christmas in Hawaii, and I'm like you I gotta fly back on Christmas I have to leave the hotel at 8 a.m. the morning after the flight. I then landed JFK at like 3.30 a.m. I had to get to my apartment, get my wife, my dog, and drive to beat Christmas in Philadelphia. That's so fucking funny. Take the year off!

In the island, feather with foals. Now we've got a lot of little kids in our family, so that was the easiest for my immediate family for, you know, to do it. And most of my family's staying there through Christmas. But I'm aware it's a fucking huge jam up. And I'm, you know, I'm- That is so horrible. I'm a very-

Destination wedding on Christmas. I hate this. 11 hours away. Truly one of the stupidest plans possible. I like to keep it on brand. Like what could you do that is worse? I don't. Like have it in Times Square on New Year's Eve.

That's all. Everybody's just standing there peeing themselves. We're all wearing diapers. Having at the Margaritaville in Times Square on January 1st. You're like while they're cleaning everything up You like look but the birds from Hawaii, so it's like It's the really the Christmas that's the problem here, but the whole thing is a fucking is a hustle That's funny. I should I should have talked to Norman about it. I mean think of it Dude, you know why holiday, you're fucked.

There's no way this is not gonna. You got that good deal on the hotel room. You got that good deal on a hotel room. At the resort fees wave, what do you want from it? Hey, baggato. Yeah, maybe we just, if you don't have enough rooms, me and Elch just gonna come for the deal. We don't even go to the wedding.

Yeah, we don't sew up, we're like, we wave to you guys. You guys are out of the pool. We come in, we take our two drink tickets, Gus and Lemon, they're like, I see you guys. You two got all the bridesmaids, they woke up. You're gonna hang with these guys. All right. He's disgusting, get off of him.

Yeah. That's fucking awesome, Chloe. Yeah, that's great. But the whole thing is a fucking scan, man. Like, you get the estimate from the caterer. It doesn't include like silverware and glassware and this and that. They sell you a fucking shaved ice cart. Then the cart, you got to pay for the cart.

The umbrella, the fucking wheels. It's hard to go and read an email. So I was like, dude, there's no way this is going to go off without a hitch. Yeah, brutal. What's the number you're trying to keep it under brother? What the number the budget yeah, I would I wanted to keep it around 50 right because I'm fucking 48 I can't ask my fucking mom The fucking help me fucking pay for the way I mean the fact that that's even in your head is crazy

The fact that you're like I can't do that hoping but she will you know The fact that you're like, I can't do that hoping but she will. You know what I mean? That's actually in it. I mean, I don't want to have this daughter. I mean, God forbid that happened. I said, this is just, you should just read this like a fifth marriage. You're 50. This isn't young love. Everybody just wants to go to Hawaii and see you get married.

You're 50. You're gonna be a 50 year old man. That's awesome. Man, I'm upside down in a wedding Yeah, that's hilarious it's not gonna be 50 no yeah No, no, yes all the other shit the flights the fucking what are we gonna do for Christmas? Yeah, that and the other thing but most of my balls to take him to Pearl Harbor The Pearl Harbor

Watch their son get married then go to a mess Christmas at Pearl Harbor God damn, dude. It's been. Yeah. I mean to be fair though the fact that you should think of it as like you you actually probably should have been this should be a third marriage That's what I'm saying. Yeah, 100% so fifth 60k you know what I mean? It's like over three marriage is not so bad The anger is it was a true third marriage though. This would, like, the fucking Plymouth meeting Marriott. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be, it would be it would be a lunch. We'd be doing, we'd be doing a lunch.

It would be at your son, it would be in your son's backyard. Yes. This is where it would be if it was rehearsed. My dad's second was Vegas. Oh, wow. Little, all my, we were like, we were all in it. My little brother was the ring bear and stuff. Oh my God.

It was rough. Trust me. It was like a little all this, my little brother was the ring bear and stuff was a rough little all this dude it was like a line to like somebody we were like had a wait for someone else to get married oh my god and then like they moved with their family out then we moved it was rough oh yeah that's trash that's real trash stuff to take your children to Vegas was the richest I ever felt my life. We are at the Bellagio and it's just open. I talk about new money. Where was his third? I don't know if the third ever officially happened. They did get divorced though.

But you see how I asked that? And you and I was right about it. I think he's still playing the field a little bit. I love it. Well this is great boys. I love you knew embarrassing content out of Foley's always nice Now let's take now let's take the wisdom you two have accrued over the years and Apply it to our friend and by the way guys listen to the podcast you guys are on tour Let's plug some stuff here in the middle. Yeah, we're on tour right now. We just launched a 2024 tour

We're coming all over doing fucking theaters in a lot of places which is sick we're doing town hall in New York adding a second show to the Wilbur we're doing the Tampa Theater Atlanta Houston I love the Tampa Theater dude yeah yeah that's awesome so we're stoked everything's available at RUgarbridge.com go see the boys go see the boys they put on a great show thank you and leave us a fucking review we're trying to get the podcast to be more successful this year We're trying to make some efforts on it. So give us a five-story leave a nice review Yeah, I need a fucking you can't I need I need a nice I need a I need a car that'll impress my trash friends Well Kevin and Henry that's a very good point, but

Again, I really don't think you guys are protecting your data, your privacy online. You're really not. Okay? You seem like to me the kind of guys that use the internet without a VPN. You know what that's like? That's like leaving your laptop out in a coffee shop, Hank. That's like you, Henry, getting up to buy a scone and then leaving your laptop for the world to see.

You'll probably be fine, but what if somebody goes on there buys themselves a little shirt? What if someone goes on there, maybe download some stuff you don't want associated with your name? Well, that's why you got to be using ExpressVPN.com, baby. Every time you connect to an unencrypted network at a hotel, we're traveling all the time at an airport. I'm on Wi-Fi, I'm on GoGo Wi-Fi, all that kind of shit. Any hacker on the same network can gain access to your data. We're traveling all the time at an airport. I'm on Wi-Fi. I'm on go-go Wi-Fi all that kind of shit Any hacker on the same network can gain access to your data. We're talking passwords. We're talking credit card numbers It doesn't take much knowledge to hack you watch a YouTube video Some fucking guy halfway across the world has taught you how to steal people's information

Anyone can do it your data is valuable hackers can make up to a thousand dollars per person selling personal info on the dark web They could probably get you for other stuff, too. I Love Express VPN. It's here's how it works, and it's kind of you look at my technical genius No, but as I understand it. It's like a sort of like a tunnel your shit's safe in a cocoon Express VPN shields it from motherfuckers taking your shit creates securing cryptid tunnel between your device and the internet They can't steal shit with Express VPN It would take a hacker a super computer over a billion years my friend to get past Express VPN encryption I like it personally. It's easy as fuck to use fire it up

I like it personally. It's easy as fuck to use. Fire it up. Fire the app up. Click a button. You're good to go. I have a ton of shit, right? I got a phone. I got a couple phones. I got a tablet. I got a tablet. I got an iPad laptop. I got a tablet. I got an Amazon tablet that I watch Reacher in the sauna with. I have plenty of devices that are connected. It goes on all of them. You don't have to worry about them. And it's important to me personally to use the ExpressVPN because look, we do a nude calendar every year. I don't want somebody hacking in and seeing my little penis soft. All right. And plus, you know, I guess all the other stuff, finances, privacy, all that. But mainly my little dick is out.

If you hack me, you can find how little my penis is., finances, privacy, all that. But mainly, my little dick is out, if you hack me, you can find how little my penis is and I need to safeguard that. So, what I want you boys and the listeners to do, secure your online data today by visiting ExpressVPN.com slash Davi. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com slash Davi and you can get an extra three months free

expressvpn.com slash dave get to it now go ahead Elda hey what's up scott long time listener first time caller uh... so been married to my wife uh... for

twelve years fourteen years my wife for 12 years, no, 14 years. Okay. I just recently told her admitted to cheating on her when we were first dating, when we were 16. Oh, 16. That's pretty pissed off. the self or the of a Hampton's Indian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you got thrown out of there. Yeah, he's had an extended stay America right now. He's got a couple fucking, he's got a couple lean cuisines in the little freezer that comes with his sad hotel room. She's freaking out.

I don't know why. I mean, look, up until you said 16, like the fact that it's 16. Listen, it doesn't matter, obviously, but it's like, why are you telling her that? Like, there's no way she's gonna take that and try to be like, okay, cool, and move forward. Like, she's just gonna start thinking of who was she,

how when was it, how many, like, that's just stupid to me. 16 is so like, there's 30. But there's no positive emotion. There's 30? Sure. And she gives a, I mean, I know you're right. It's not gonna be positive. There's 30? There's 30? Sure. And she gives a, I mean, I know you're right. It's not going to be positive. There's no positive to come from that.

The only, the only, the only thing I could say at this point, I mean, the cat's out of the bag for this guy now, right? He did it, right? Yeah. He didn't call and say, should I say this? It's been eating me up inside. I also was like, what kind of cheating are we talking about here? 16.

Are you 16? So it's like. Did you fuck another 16 year old where you guys officially, you know, we were officially dating. Did you just make out with someone? Like I need a little more context here. But anything short of like,

I guess fucking someone completely behind her back. I don't think it's a huge deal. I think even if they did, they were 16. Yeah, of course. Who gives the fuck? No, I think, yes, of course. But it's also like this woman now 30 or whatever 14 years later is like well why the fuck do I want to know it's like when someone's like hey This guy was talking shit behind your back. I like that's not for me

Your fucking snow I have to deal with it. You're gonna deal with it right right right right? That's a good point for sure because he's kind of if anything Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point for sure. Yeah, because he's kind of if anything He's trying to absolve himself. Yes, if he itself motivated to me like I mean that doesn't just like slip out Yeah, I remember when I was fucking Shelley or whatever. Yeah, yeah, but I mean yeah, it sucks So now you've done he's done it though, right? I'm sure it'll get past it, you know It is now that you have done it. I think the thing is like The thing to do here is just say what again Yeah, fuck fuck someone now and be like see does is this way worse

You should have let it slide and now we wouldn't be here. Oh does he give her? I mean not that she wants this but does he give her a pass? No, no a pass now The past is crazy. I would be thinking about that all the time La Paz now. La Paz is crazy. I mean, I would be thinking about that all the time. What? If I did that, told her, I would be like, she's for sure gonna fucking cheat on me.

You think it would be back? Yeah. It's not equivalent. She gets to like. That's what I would do. She gets to give a. Yeah, would you? She gets to finger foley, we'll call it is.

Yeah. There you go. Where you kids live at? I'll be dead in a couple of weeks. Yeah, I mean look, you probably should have kept it to yourself, but now that you've said it, I think the only thing to do is kind of, which probably is what he was trying to do is be like, I just want us to have complete honesty. Like I've never kept anything else from you. This is the best relationship of my life I want to be with you forever and it just bothered me that I that I had anything that was not true

Sure, I think that's your only kind of thing to do here It's also like you're going that far you're like there's nothing it's that that thing from 16 from 14 years ago Has been eating me up. Yeah, yeah There's nothing else And allow her for a little bit you know what I mean some you know really be fucking real sweet to her yeah fucking dinners all that kind of stuff make sure she's the one You got to just accept the doghouse for like a couple sure just let her get it all out And use it as an opportunity really not I mean if you if that was the only secret you had in your relationship That's kind of good. That's yeah, that's all you're fucking late totally clean from here on out. Yeah, that's actually really good

But yeah, I don't know you're fucking late totally clean from here on out. Yeah, that's actually really commit to it But yeah, I don't know you're fucking dumb for saying anything. Yeah, you just gotta talk to her But yeah, just get you know, I'd love to know what he meant by cheating. I mean, that's that would be crazy and also like 16 they've been together 14 years. He's been they've been married 14 years. They might be they might have been dating even longer Yes, so there's so much like also it's like has she ever fucked anyone else did he even fuck that girl like that's also that's also weird Yes, like what happened when in their relationship? Did it happen? You know my interest is certainly peaked But either way none of that is useful for your predicament. I'm just kind of curious But anyway, whatever you fucked up, but now parlayed into being a really good honest guy

next question alby thanks guys I'm a fucking good watch man I got a question I'm getting back into the dating life my girlfriend is leading me I also have herpes those are barely related nice dude but I've been kind of wondering how I'm so the pictures the ladies sounds of the event you know that i've done probably never get my dick stuff ever again i reserve that for for heaven when i don't want to run down on the other hand again uh... it's a little bit of a real issue is that people keep saying today people

also have herpes but that's just means i have to date somebody who's as irresponsible as I am and probably has their life as much as that's me. First of all, shut the fuck up. First of all, you definitely are worse than a lot of people who have herpes. Let's start there. You are not, stop looking down on these people.

My guess is he got it in way worse ways than a lot of women. I mean not a lot, but there's a sizable percentage of women that got it because of dickheads like him. Just catch it because some guy was like, good. Some guy was a piece of shit. That has happened. So let's relax about this. Anyway, keep going, Eldis. But yeah, I already am kind of autistic and have a personality disorder.

People also say that people like that, but you see that the pie chart is getting real more serious. But yeah, alright, thanks Bobby. Well he thinks he's better than that. If this is on Patreon, make it a clip, please, on YouTube on poor. Fuck, this is a free one.

See you baby, good luck. I almost want to make it a page just despite this guy. We'll edit this out and put it into a random page. You got the back end of a cuss brush. Yeah, I mean your vibes are fucked dude. You're already fucked up like being like, oh I got a fucking bitch that's as bad as me. Or like statistically the pie chart.

I thought about how old he is. Did he say no? This seems like mid-20s problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're like 34, you're like who gives a fuck? Well exactly, just get through it. What's going on here is that he, this is mid-20s problems or like mid to late because it's like his vision of what life was gonna be like

is being taken away from him. Yeah, and I know that fact. And he's struggling with that. I've waited for test results to come back when I've really come to terms with all this. So I know what he's going through, big guy. Yeah, I mean, look, you're being way too judgmental about people with herpes.

I'm not saying you have to go on some fucking herpes-only dating site or whatever. But try it. Who cares? But it's also like, and yeah, and then the personality disorder, it's like, first of all, I think herpes is way blown out of proportion. I don't have it, I must say.

Any time you come across as pro-herpes, you have to be like, it's, you know, but it's like, whatever, it doesn't really, you know, people are on their fucking meds and you're fucking with a condom on. Yeah, I think there's a lot more information now too of like when it is transmittable. Do you get colsores? I get colsores. Just on my lip, one or two a year or something like that. Not on that little dick of yours though.

Not on my little fremmy line. Pristine, pristine. So yeah dude, I mean. I would say take a beat, take a breath, reanalyze. Like, it seems like you're coming at it a little, you're shameful about having it and just whatever, talk to people and be like, hey, this is the thing. If you find someone you like, be like, hey, this is the thing I'm dealing with. You're right.

There is a lot of shame and there's also a lot of... Which I get. There's also a lot of like, I really wonder what happened in his relationship. I don't want to, like, I don't, like, maybe I am being, maybe I am judging this guy because maybe his personality disorder and I don't know if he actually is autistic or if he's just doing the thing everybody, everybody claims that they're autistic now if they're being dickheads.

But like, I find him a little, oh dude so much. It's become almost hack to say you're autistic now. I'm gonna start leaning on that. You have no way anyway, we believe you're autistic. You lack the attention to detail that the autistic have. Down syndrome, maybe. Yeah. 1-8 downs, maybe.

There's 145 words in that typewriter. Nice try, dude. He called it a typewriter, or anything. Is that what he said? Somebody give me some toothpicks, man. God damn it. type Yeah, dude look take a little fucking break yeah figure it out with just get okay with it with yourself and what life is We're gonna be moving forward. Yeah, you're at and there's no pitch to the ladies there's go on a date see if you like someone and When you start getting into a an intimate situation

Just fucking be like hey just so you know yeah I'm I'm herped up, but I'm on my meds as long as you're taking your meds and shit. Yeah, you should be good Dude, don't be a fucking loser. Don't be don't be so down on yourself and don't be so down on the herpes community Yeah, they're a bit it. I mean that's a kid. It's a curveball when you're expecting something else. You know, it certainly is you don't want one more One more stumbling block if you already don't believe in yourself and you have some kind of you know Personality thing that doesn't let you get close to people or some shit I don't know what his thing is but I get it But you know you just got gotta get over the breakup first

and then just attack dating like anybody else. And yes, you have one more thing that some people, it'll be a complete red flag for some people, but for other people, maybe they have it or maybe they're just cooler. It's not a big deal. Yeah. What else we got, Eldis?

Yo, it's Gabby, what else we got, Eldis? Yo, Stabby, what's good? Guess what the fuck is up? Eldis, was good. Okay. Yo, Stabby, what's good with the buddy? Just going on a little trip here with my friend. And they're bringing their girlfriends. And I'm the only single dude.

Which is fine. Single mascot. That is my trip. I invited them anyway. But my problem is, this. I invited them anyway with my problem is This couple that I'm going with the guy my best friend for homie This girlfriend she's cool dude. She's good, but together man. They are so fucked. They drink way too much Last time we went to Seattle boys. boy, he just got way too drunk, way too stupid.

I had to put him to bed and when they're together, they tend to do this a bunch. So I'm just wondering like, how do I deal with this? You know, we're across the border. We're going from Vancouver to Portland. I don't want to ruin this. You know, I'm making an international incident. I'm kind of worried about it. She's known to ruin trips. She's known to, you know, overreact. So what do I'm kind of worried about it. She's known to ruin trips.

She's known to overreact. So what do I do? How do I make sure that the trips are here? You're a fraud. You should have fucking invited him. What nuts? Yeah, it's like, hey, I let two big cats. I let two manches into my hotel room.

I let two hyenas into my hotel room. And I have a really nice ribeye. I'm trying to save. How do I keep these wild animals from the ribeye? Yeah, you're fucked. You are fucked. There is nothing to be done here. This is the we're getting a lot of early 20s.

I was just gonna say that's mid 20s shit where you're like Steve is still doing this and you just pound in your head and I while and be like don't ruin the trip Steve or that he does. This is the lesson you need so in your third you never do this again. Yes, like going on a trip with a couple you're even sort of iffy about. The dude. Because the dynamics already not great. No. He's already down in the count he's the only single.

And they were the sweetest people on earth it's still a fucking no. Separate your boys from their girlfriends. It's yeah I mean it's got it takes a while like we went to fucking grew I was I was actually in a semi-simple position where it was like me me eldest Another friend of ours that we went to Greece. We met up in Greece there. You know there in relationships But like I had literally lived with both eldest and his wife I had lived with my boy and his- It's a tighter circle.

And it was like, and we had enough, but it's like, you're literally up against, you have to be friends. Here's how it worked. We've been friends for 30 years, and I've known his wife and been roommates with her, have a good relationship with her. My other buddy, I've known him for 15 years,

and I've been roommates for eight years. It's like, and it's like, that's what it takes. You're learning like the only way to go on a, to be a third wheel or a fifth wheel is if it's like your best friend. It's got to almost, it's got to feel like family. These are like, hey, I can talk to her. I can, me and her can go grab coffee and it's not weird.

I'm like, she's gonna go for a walk. I'll go with them. Like it's got to be, it's got to be like your brother, like you and Elvis, it's like, all right I'm like, she's gonna go for a walk. I'll go with them. Like it's gotta be, it's gotta be like your brother, like you and Elvis. It's like, all right, this is my sister-in-law. It's not being a nightmare. I assume his wife's not a nightmare. She's going to be throwing.

I've heard stories. Yeah, yeah. Here's the, no, that's a really good test is can you have a, can you have a good lunch, like a pleasant lunch and can you survive a whole day with these women? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Like that's the, like two hours lunch, and can you survive a whole day with these women? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, like that's the, like,

two hours is it actually straight up fun? Could you, is there a scenario where you look forward to this? And then if it's a whole fucking day, could you guys survive it? I know, a lot. You know, and that's a lot. That is not, that's a hard bar to cross.

Also too, is it a situation where you and the girlfriends can check each other? Like sounds like with this lady if she starts acting a fool and you're and you're like like Tammy stop man what are you doing? I'm in the face. Yeah. You can do whatever you want. You can talk to me like that. But if like you I would assume that you guys have the relationship where you were acting up his wife can be like you know stop for sure take a chill pill let's take care of each other let's step outside yeah I punch the wall and I'm like I'll just control your bitch she's talking to me you tell me not to get fucked up

I'll just gotta see you outside for a second your wife sucks dude man dude I'm gonna kill myself this was my trip and you brought girls do it. There's nothing like a good all kill myself I've been really leaning in Yeah, dude, you're the last one dude. You're so fucked. It's hilarious Even if it's even if it's you gotta you gotta it's gotta be the last one with that with your boy, too If he's just a constant fucking issue So fucked it's hilarious. Even if it's, you gotta, it's gotta be the last one with that, with your boy too. If he's just a constant fucking issue.

It's like hey, Steve doesn't come anymore. Like Steve, you proved you can't do it. Give Steve a year, let him learn in a year. That's true. I've had friends who have lost their trip privileges. Oh yeah. For acting up. For sure.

But you're just like alright. I've been on that list. I should get older. And I deserved it. Yeah. But if these people are in their 20s, I can tell you're not gonna be friends with these people in your 30s.

No. You're not. Right, right, right. You're not. That's the thing where you go like, oh, this isn't worth my time anymore. Like you're still 20, you're like, this is end or whatever, like,

there's days forever, this is great. Right, right. Once shit starts happening, you're like this is end or whatever like there's days forever. This is great Right, right once shit starts happening. You're like, I don't I have one free Saturday this month Yeah, I don't want to spend it getting thrown out of me. Yeah, you know a hula hands They're holding your girlfriend's hair back as she fucking vomits out of an uber. Yeah, well I get no pussy whatsoever That's not a few things worse. than your buddy's out of control drunk girlfriend. Yeah, yes. There are a few things. Because they have, they have diplomatic immunity.

You can't treat them the way you want to treat them. You can't treat them the way you can treat another dumb bitch that's too drunk. They'll be like, oh, you're protected under his, under his consulate. I did do it once. I did it once to my buddy's girlfriend. They, we were in college. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like something and somebody spilled like, it was like walking by her like this and spilled like this much beer, another buddy.

And she fucking threw a drink in his face. She's like, you fuck, I just spent fucking all day getting ready. I'm fucking, fucking. Oh my god. And I snapped. I do. I just like, you she should have left you in that fucking sicko parking lot where we found you You're fucking trying You should have just thrown a drink right back at her But yeah, this guy is he's up against actually to mid-20s phenomenon, which is because when you're in college It's like yeah bring it you'll go to fucking cancun with a guy you just met

right you meet him at the airport you don't give a fuck right exactly so he's up against realizing that it's like your time gets more precious you have to choose your travel companions and he's up against the like doing the math on hanging out with couples and then the third thing he's up against is the out of control drinking where it's like what's cute in your early 20s by 26 is pathetic. And he's just starting to realize he finds his behavior pathetic. He can't even fully bring himself to say it. I love it if this guy's like 42.

Then your loser, your friends are losers. That would be my mid 60s. Lose my number, lose the hotline number. We don't want you listening if you're 40. I'm not kidding Next question Elvis god damn could you imagine I mean I guess I guess that does exist Hey, Ravi first off huge fan of the show I just watched your special and I thought it was great. What a girl. So I'm 22, almost 23.

Young demo to Savi. I'm going to be a new city this year. I just graduated from college. And I really want to get back into the dating world. I had one boyfriend almost three years ago, first and only boyfriend. And I am like I hope it's romantic you know I want to be in a relationship but I'm honestly kind of

scared of men and I don't really see myself as a sexy woman like someone that a man can be sexually attracted to. I'm more like a cool person. I think I'm cute, but like, I don't really see myself in that way. And I get very uncomfortable in romantic and like sexual situations. And I feel a lot of fear and like, honestly, a little bit of shame in those situations. And so I'm a little conflicted and I just don't know how to get over this fear and this anxiety and sort of get to a point where I can accept myself as a young woman who's sexually attractive. Why did you play this?

Why was this all you garbage? This is above your pay grade. No, first of all, it's above yours, Foley. Me and a couple broads on the couch were crushing this question. But I gotta take point and I gotta toss the ball to you on your fucking opinions on a 50-year-old man. This woman is less than half your age. They said you get married in Hawaii or in Christy's car.

Find a guy who wants to do that. Um, finish off the, you know... I really feel for her. She sounds like a sweetheart. I did, I did. For me, so if you have any advice, that would be great. Um... Yeah, this is just Eldis' fault.

It's not. This is more excellent producing by Eldis. I've been healthy for the rest of my life. And we've had so many women on this batch, Eldis. I love the show. Love the special. Isn't there some guys like, hey man, I got a burn on my penis from putting it in the Wawa nacho cheese dispenser?

That's who we needed for these guys. Everyone knows Wawa doesn't have nacho cheese dispenser. I'm sorry, see, see, I apologize. You bite. I'm sorry. There. Oh, there's no royal farms We got we got nacho cheese. You fucking pieces of shit. Love a royal far. It's a great Best fried chicken best fried. It's incredible. Okay, so um I do feel for our friend here This is sounds very sweet. I Like how it sounds 20 but like how brave to like yeah moving to a new city you have all of this stuff like you seem like you have a very good head on your shoulders 100% and these is this

is all the stuff that you know it's funny I actually do really relate to her here because at 22 23 I actually was going through I mean it's different when you're you know a woman, there's less, she has all the finding yourself stuff and the fear of like how, what scumbags and like how dangerous statistically men are to women, to young women particularly, but I definitely had the like the confidence issues and the like, and they're like, you know, trying to figure that shit out. And I will say the 24th year of my life was right around the same age, was awesome for me in terms of dating. I was actually, actually I was a lot like her where I had one, I had one long-term relationship in college,

my college girlfriend, and even that it was like I was kind of a coward because it was like, a college girlfriend. And even that, it was like I was kind of a coward because it was like I was her friend and we slowly got closer. Sure, it just by proxy. And it just like I just basically wore her, she was in a relationship and I just wore her down kind of thing. And so I understand being like too scared and not feeling, I feel the same way. I didn't feel attractive to anyone. I didn't feel like I was desirable to girls. And so, honestly what I did was, honestly just focused on myself for a while, where from the ages of like 23, 22, 23, 24,

you know, me and this girl break up when I'm 21 or maybe early 22. Actually probably 22, maybe even 23, anyway, whatever. We break up and then I take a year I take a year a couple years of just Really working on the shit. I want to which happened to be stand-up comedy I am not telling you to become an open mic stand-up comedian That's the worst thing you could possibly do but I worked really hard on my dreams, right? I was saving a lot of money too like I felt like figure more out about yourself that way exactly

I was I was preparing for this same move that she's talking about I was going from lot of money too. Like I felt like- You figure more out about yourself that way as well. Exactly. And I was preparing for the same move that she's talking about. I was going from Baltimore to New York, but I spent a couple years working on comedy, saving up money, making a real plan, sticking to it. I felt like a much more confident. I was confident in myself. I felt like I was the kind of person who had some val- like other value.

And that kind of boosted my overall confidence. And like, you know, it was, and I wasn't, I didn't get to like, hook up with people because of who I was. I didn't get any DMs. There was no like, I had no fans. I was a broke. I was literally a below the poverty line open-micor.

But that, I started dating girls that were, you know, that were not, they weren't like comedy fans, they were just like people in Baltimore, I would go out, I would just like be social. I had, I also invested in my friend group, I hung out with my friends more. And when you're that young, you just meet people at bars, you do whatever.

Well, I think too, like this, like take like a bunch of the little wins to build up your, like, it's not just gonna happen where you change, like, oh, all of a sudden I'm super confident and you know in control of my sexuality or whatever It's like you're moving to a new city at 23 like yeah fucking get to a new city get that new job You'd be like and fucking be proud that like you moved you picked up and moved to 23, which is fucking crazy You got an apartment you got a roommate you got a job you found three new friends like You know stay get well confidence in all those little battles and then you're like okay cool And also to you'll find you'll you'll slowly fall into it

This is a this is a very introspective thing for her you know to to say I think she's not to have the courage to put it out there You know what I mean to you know to say this I mean I think you're you know a lot more She's a lot more you know, she's awesome. Yeah, you're self-credited for a lot of people me in particular 23 years old. Yeah, you had no plan. No, I got to that same roadblock in life and I turned the fucking drugs People and people that are out there roll People that are out there in her age group, they can't handle, most people can't handle

looking in the mirror like that. It's brutal. And staring into the abyss. That's a good point. And she can. Yeah. And so, you're a head of the game.

If you're doing this math already, as you're way ahead of, I never talked to a 23 year old, when I even was 23, who was doing this kind of math. True, that's a good, that's actually a great point. You're killing it already.

You're in control of everything. And also dudes wanna fuck you. They do. Where's my camera? Like they for sure is like, listen I'm a pretty gross dude I've always been and girls ended up wanting to, it just happens. So you know, it's like, and you'll find, you know,

you get a couple bodies on you, you get a lot of confidence. It's true. But she's also saying she's not really into that she's hopeless romantic you you dictate what you want She might be an out with a girl that she works with me to guy and it is the hopeless romantic thing You know, you just gotta stay in the game and you're in the game. You're fucking I also I also think The move is such a huge, like seismic shift. Sure. Where it's like, take some time. Like I know you want to get into dating and everything,

but like take some time to really feel like you have a little foothold in the new city that you're in. And like that you're in a, you're on like a long term, like, you know, journey towards, you know, being who you're gonna become, moving to a new city is huge, all this kind of stuff. And so just take time to really feel comfortable. And I think, yeah, like what I was saying is like,

establish yourself for who you wanna be over the next couple of years. And that's not saying you have to be a fucking, within that time from you have to be, you know, celibate, right? But it's like, I do think you should be, I understand wanting to date, I understand that stuff, but I also think like, if there's a little bit of time that you take to really focus on yourself, like in a non-cliché way, but it's like, you know, you're finding that

shit out. And yeah, I mean, everyone is kind of, of you know insecurities are natural right like that makes a lot of sense but I think putting yourself out there to a reasonable amount with still having moving to the new city and improving yourself and working on yourself and doing stuff that makes you feel good like I think all that stuff will improve your confidence and you know like Kevin said there's definitely plenty of people who want to fuck you maybe maybe I'm sure very attracted to view physically and mentally and

emotionally like yeah not just like I'm at a bar and I want to fuck you like actually right people who scroll down a little bit of this let me just a really good head on her shoulder yeah very, very. I'm very impressed. But so she's basically just saying she's uncomfortable. They have the shame stuff. I mean, that's fear, anxiety, all this stuff that you're talking about. Normal.

It's so normal. And that, unfortunately, it is kind of also like these road blocks, these emotional road blocks, it's kind of also like these roadblocks, these emotional roadblocks, it's like the answer, it's kind of like losing weight. It's like, sometimes the answer is just like, for losing weight, it's like, yeah, I know I should just fucking watch what I eat and exercise more.

And for this, it's really just putting yourself out there. And the more I see her question, the more I really relate to it when I was in my 20s. Cause like, you know, I didn't, I had a lot of hang-ups actually. Like I said, I didn't think I was, I definitely had shame. I definitely had like, you know, just not thinking I belonged, all this kind of stuff.

And the only thing to do is put yourself out there. And it's, by the way, don't get me wrong. You're fearing your anxieties. They are going to come true. You will meet some dickheads. Sure. Shit will be bad. You'll have a weird situation.

You'll have a couple weird experiences. That make you feel bad. You'll have some really good ones that then disappear. Somebody you think is going to be great disappears. But you'll also have a lot of people. You'll find people that, you know, that's the only way to find eventually the kind of people the kind of person you want to be with and it's the act is the thing we hit on the

show over and over again you have to take L's to win of course the only way you're gonna learn the only way you're gonna grow and you're in that position right now and exactly the fact that you're aware of this stuff you're young it's like go and go make some fucking, go put a foothold in a new city, go on some fucking like casual dates, see what you like, work through your stuff and I think in a couple years, like the fact that you're this aware of it, and in a couple of years of doing this and putting yourself out there and not just like cocooning and letting this anxiety take over you, just the fact that you know it's anxiety

is helpful, because that's bullshit. That's just your dumb brain trying to fuck your shit up. I didn't know what anxiety was till I was 29. Yeah, yeah. Go bust a couple nuts, go have a nice time, getting you apart, get some roommates, getting you job in a new city. You also focus on socially at the moment.

Yes. Like just like, hey, I got a group of friends and then you know, get comfortable and see what happens and they might know something, you know, whatever. Totally. Put it on the back burner for the moment, but take it as it comes. I think the general advice is,

you have, follow your life plan and take steps to become the person you wanna be. That will feed your confidence in all areas and then take the dating as it comes and it will come and just remember to put yourself out there and don't get into a little cocoon of anxiety. That's really the general advice. Damn. Look at that.

I think you're going to be great. Hold on. Come on, guys. Love it. Great job, Lane. There's unlicensed therapy that you're getting here, folks. And I tell you what, that kid's going to be all right right there. She's going to be great. You're going to be all right. She's gonna be great gonna be all right

She's gonna do great What's up stop Big fan been fine. He says come down. Thank you, brother. Oh this you square-headed Slavic dog that is true Slavic dog that is true Messy I need your help though. Okay, this guy's vibe is a lot more are you garbage? Broke up with my ex wife Maybe three four years ago been dating another girl

Live with her about three years Me and my ex we've been hooking up the whole time mother my kids Shit like that. She's the mother kids of your grandfather. They've been fucking right She's been waiting this dude about two years i fucking hate his guts drops of effort even fucking meet me in person because he's afraid of me oh really you don't say yeah you know i we've been banging the whole time and we broke up with me and

and and and She couldn't keep doing the lie and then told me she don't know whether she loves me more than she loves him. And basically he's just essentially completely cut me out cold turkey one day out of his cold years. Well, not really. Not really. You got divorced. And you had two years of extra pussy. I don't really know that you can call that cold turkey walk away from the table Got fired from my job on top of all that damn You got fires

Come in late super bummer my kid hate this fucking guy. I hate him but this bitch just Don't want none to do with me anymore just Cold turkey out of the blue hot out of the blue. You are divorced You guys are no longer together I Feel I do feel for this guy. I do, for I've been there. Everybody's been at this, I can hear it in his voice.

I've been that guy. The problem is buddy, you didn't, when it was time to, when you had the obvious like, okay, I have to move on. I have to set up co-parent, because here's the other thing. The most important thing in a situation like this is your kids, right? And I get it, you still loved your ex, you didn't want to break up co-parenting, because here's the other thing. The most important thing in a situation like this is your kids, right? And I get it, you still loved your ex, you didn't wanna break up with her,

but you did kind of, instead of prioritizing like, all right, we gotta get a good co-parenting situation here, we gotta make sure like, you know, I want to have some say in my ex's life so that if maybe she's bringing around somebody, I don't wanna run my kids, we can have that conversation, like maybe if there's stuff somebody I don't want around my kids, we can have that conversation like maybe if there's stuff I don't like and they're upbringing we can have that conversation

but instead you continue to by the way, while having a different girlfriend who you live with I mean we're not even talking about that you're a piece of shit to this woman right? That's a whole other thing we don't even want to mention there's like nine victims in this story you're not one of them you need to be the victim on the victim power rankings number one your kids

they're fucked I mean they are the woman you're cheating on the woman you're cheating on the guy the guy that you hate his fucking guts you've been cucking him for years he's actually more of a victim than you and then I guess it's a tie between you and your what the state of whatever fucking bullshit the you know the court system that you're tying up with your bullshit whatever it doesn't matter oh it's Florida yeah yeah it's anyway so yeah dude you had an opera you guys broke up and instead of actually taking the time to set up your life and set up some co-parenting

and have a healthy relationship, you decided you wanted to keep getting pussy from your ex-wife and you made a deal with the devil. And we do get it, but you were- Everybody's going crawling back, everybody's been that guy. But you were si- you're sipping on the poisoned well and it's like now it's like it's like now three years of poison

is about to come out of your system. You know. You're looking back, not forward, man. It's like, what do you mean you hate this guy's guts? You've been like, you lose all your fucking credibility. Like if this guy even is a bad guy, now you look like a jealous ex instead of the father of the kids who

doesn't want this guy around and also think about this why do you hate his guts is it is he actually a bad guy or are you just fucking the woman that you up until she kicked you off cold turkey just gave you a nice three-year you know opportunity to get used to it yeah Yeah, three years of Cobra on the pussy. I mean, that's, that ain't too bad. Man, that is a win. Yeah, it's a major win. But that's what he traded.

That's what he traded being able to have any say. Sure. You know, it's like, you know, so sorry, bud. You fucked, I mean, truly you just did fuck up. I think you gotta do what you should have done three years ago and fucking, you gotta keep walking forward, dude. You fucked. I mean truly you just did fuck up I think you gotta you gotta do what you should have done three years ago and fucking you gotta keep walking forward dude 100% out of the walk out of the just keep going like put it all behind you focus on getting a new job Focus on being there for your kids for your kids first of all. Yes, this woman's gone, bro You're not and look I'm not even necessarily saying you guys seem like you're such white trash that you might actually get back together.

100%. But I'm just, but. You know what, hang in there, she's coming back. But yeah, that might happen, you can't bank on it. That's like, you know. And he saw us to see her and co-parent that if he shows that he's really getting his shit together. She might turn her on.

She's coming back. But that's what I mean. The only way to truly get back together with this woman in a way that might be sustainable is to completely let go of her rebuild your life agree be a good guy yeah and then you're in a position where you have to decide do I even want this right you have to completely lose this different person exactly in six months where you're like what was I doing that you get away from that fucking poison pussy you're like I got a

little bit of clarity yes yes yes I have a woman right in front of me. It's great or not or whatever it's late at lunch, man Yeah, that's a tough give up though And also cheating like when did you guys have time to parent your children? Yeah, you're both cheating on other people All your free time is going to sucking each other off. Well, how many ballet recitals did you miss with your thumb? Yeah, is this guy you hate taking your son to baseball practice while you fuck his mom Love how we also squeeze in my kids hate this fucking guy Yeah, by the way matters. I don't really know. I'm not exactly taking your word on your kids I mean, that's like you drinking a fucking an extra a mics hard and being like in the parking lot be like

Yeah, Josh is a fucking piece of shit, right? Yeah, and your son's like Yeah Can we please get to school I'm already 45 minutes late Call him a fag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Call him a fag. Yeah. Dunkin' Donuts is already, yeah, he's just like at the fucking drive-thru, like, they're giving away free donuts, I'm not missing it.

Anyway, yeah, dude, I don't know what the fuck, so anyways, build your life in you, say goodbye to this. Yeah, look behind you, man. You have to actually deal with the breakup. You didn't want to accept the divorce and you plowed ahead thinking you could fuck your way out of consequences of her not wanting to be with you, you couldn't, you should have realized it then and there

and tried to rebuild then and I get it, it's human what you did but now you have to, you reaped and now it's time to sew. It's also like how long did you think this was gonna last? Like you're playing with house money. No one's ever done this on. No, he thought he was gonna just, but that's what I'm saying, like there was no forethought of

like, well this has to stop at some point. In his mind, it stops when they move back in with each other. I guarantee you, he thought this was the way to weasel his way back in. But then he starts cheating on her. Then he starts whining. And then he starts cheating, yeah.

Then it gets worse though, because then the fun and the whatever of it is is out of it. Yeah, maybe allure is out You're back at this old unit again. He went about this in maybe the worst possible way You've muddied your relationship with this anyway, whatever we got it We should on you enough that he does that of that relationship. I really dry it up So anyway, good luck, pal. Yeah, man. Get a job. Get a job.

Raise your kids. Take the L. That's it. And just take some time to actually heal from this. Hit us with another one, Eldo. Hey, Stavi. Eldus, esteemed guest. Thank you, sir. Ran our question about feminine hygiene and how to bring up

to you ladies starting to smell a little, a little funky these days. Um, you know, a fan of going down on her, but, and I'm trying to kind of show that it's a little funky by not doing it quite as much, but still a little bit funky. So how should I approach that situation? Thank you. And if this could be on a free show, that'd be great. Thank you. Oh, this, you have to stop.

First of all, stop giving us pussy questions with the all male panel. And also do not reward the people that beg for it to be on a free show. Okay. Put them on a Patreon the next time. Especially when it's a guy who's like, hey, my girl's pussy smells bad. Can this be free? Come on, man, use your fucking producing instincts.

How many times? I don't even wanna, I mean, you know, what do you even say to a guy like this? I get conversational, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Have you ever had to bring this up? No. No, for me.

I hope I never have to. It's a brought up to me. And I stand by that. And I think anything like that is direct, loving communication. And probably an easy fix. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? You never know. I agree.

This does boil down to communication. Yeah, it's not going to be easy be easy be like hey, let's go. It's Wash your pussy up for me a little bit. You want to rinse that off throw that on the in the sink for a second Yeah, I got a throw a little deodorant down there a little spray little something you know I spray your dick before you get it get sucked That's gonna do the under thing the under guns. Yeah, it gets bad No good. I want to be fresh down there.

Damn. God damn. I think, I believe I've never had any. Now, I said somebody been like, Hey, why you rinse your cock off? So I can suck it? Oh, gladly a block. Oh, of course.

Yeah, she's gonna go, if she's a fan, she's gonna go, Yeah, yeah, sure. Like she's a, everybody's aware of the, the current state of the fan, the temperature down there. Right, right, right. If you want, I've been, I went to the gym, the whatever, the something, something, unless it's like chemical, then you gotta

fuckin' go get a pill or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, unless it's like. Chemical, wait, you got a roundup or somethin'? No, I'm sayin' if there's like something physically biological, there's something wrong where it's like causing some sort of something, but if it's just wear and tear from the day,

thought I'd hop on a shower. Yeah, nothing more. And go in like, hey, let's hop in the shower. Right, right, right. You start bathing three times a day. And if it's not, yeah, be more concerned, you know what I mean? Maybe a trip to the gyno,

whatever you gotta do. Right, right. Stop by my house. Make sure, all right. Hey, take a look at it. Come here you. Yeah, good. I don't think this guy deserves a full question the full enthusiastic answer next question eldest

What's up, I love your show hello get buddy. Hey buddy. I'm sure you're alleging So I work a lot. I have my first little baby on the way. Congrats. Some days I only have one day a week off. And granted I eat dinner with my lady every night. You know, I still see her a lot. But my one day off I just really don't want to hang out with her and I want to drink a thousand beers with my buds and go golfing and play pool.

What? She makes me happy. She makes me happy, but I can't tell if I'm an asshole that on my one day. I don't want to go to fucking home good You know what I mean, I do let me know if I'm a prick I might be thank you guys bye-bye Yeah, I mean look this is a reasonable thing to say if There's no baby on the way. Yeah, you're fucked. This is over. You're not going to fucking like like you're not gonna Get to go to golf every weekend like if you guys were a young couple and you work constantly and you see her every day You could probably argue for every other sure like you gotta are you carve out once a month You got a third set the first one Saturday, I'm going out and babe,

the past three weeks, we done this, this, this, let me just go get fucked up. I work fucking 80 hours a week. I'm at home goods the other days. Let me go get fucking twisted. I would even see, say you can have it all if you could lay off, fucking drinking 50 beers on the course. Say, hey, I'm going out and playing golfing

with the boys in the morning. I'll be back at one when I come back. We'll head over to fucking Home Depot. We'll get something to eat. We'll do it. That's the wrong way. Home goods in the morning, get an afternoon tea time, get fucking plots,

and go then go home and sleep it off. That's what it is. One booze bag to another. Yeah, all right. Paint up your boy. Yeah, you never do shit after hanging with the boys. No, no, no, no, no, no. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Like, she wants my wife does want to go to home goods a lot. Yeah. And home goods sucks. Sucks.

They don't have an inventory. It's just whatever's there. And you don't know what you're looking for. If you don't got a toy section, I'm fucking out. I need something to occupy my time for a few minutes. I feel like I've done a very good job of being like, hey, babe, I need this day to either not do it. Like, I'm on the couch.

I've been in seven different states. I'm just chilling on the couch today don't ask me to do shit yeah or also like Carve out time where you go. I mean your wife probably go to dinner and get drunk at dinner Yeah, you know what I mean like hey, let's go out here. Let's go out to a nice restaurant It's just you're not gonna get to do that every day off. That's crazy You're not and honestly if you didn't have a baby on the way, I actually would have a lot more, I think you'd have a lot more leeway to get a lot more

of this decent, but like, dude, that's over, bro. Like at least for the next couple of years, like, it's gonna be really tough on her. I've had a couple friends who recently had kids. The mom gets so fucked in every way, where it's like her body, she has to carry this kid literally inside of her. And then the first like six months,

it literally just is an accessory to it. That's stealing all her nutrients through her tits. Like you just have to be, and especially since you have the kid on the way dude, you're gonna have to just be there for your wife for a little while and then you know I mean for the rest of this kid's life But the older 18 years the older the older a kid gets the more you can kind of like you know The other thing is six days a week. What the fuck are you doing? Is that even legal like what is the that's a lot of work?

What's the like what's the con can we get you a better job? Can we get you like better work? A better work situation? Like hey, see if you can yes that's- She does have to appreciate that a little bit. Maybe he's gotta work that many hours to you know to bring home the bacon for everybody. And if that's the case maybe you could be like hey maybe go back to the once a month thing. But I think-

Yeah once a month thing. But I think once the kids out. Oh yeah, no, come on. The first six months, you just gotta be there like that. Yeah, no, yeah, 100%. But yeah, starting the afternoons, tell your buddies, get a later tee time. Hey, we'll meet at the course at fucking 3.30. And then do, wake up early, do that with your wife, and then fucking go get torched.

I also think from a psychological perspective, this is kind of symbolic too of like what he wants to do with his days off is cling to his youth. Sure. This is a little bit of like, he's feeling the pressure of fatherhood, he's in a merit, like he's probably,

he's committed to this person. And even if he's into it like- There's a lot staring down the barrel. There's a lot, there's a lot that you're like, and so being like, I need to be away from you for a fucking day. Like you can't have every day all. That's crazy dude.

That is crazy. But I understand the like wanting to make this more important than it is because it's symbolic of your freedom and like saying goodbye to this will be difficult, but that is kind of what you have chosen here for a little bit. And so just know that it's gonna be few and far between. difficult but that is kind of what you have chosen here for a little bit and so just know that it's gonna be few and far between and you know see if you can

sneak it in where you can I'll tell you I go and hang out with my friend and her kid a lot we go and kind of just chill like my best friend had a kid and like you know I'll just go to her house we'll just fucking chill with the baby you know we've all hung out with the with the little guy we're so if like, do you have friends that'll just be around you? Like you could play video games. Yeah. You're a little your boy. Well, your friend, you know what I mean?

Like those are real boys, too. Yeah. I want to come over and get the kid. Yeah. I can't get out. Fucking grab a grab a case of beer, come over. I've watched football with a little with a baby, you know what I mean? With a baby in the stairs or whatever. Like and also this kid, you know, you you're probably gonna have to be up with him. There's other ways for you to hang out.

This might be a perfect gaming late at night with your boy set up where it's like, you're up with the baby, it's he's napping, you play a fucking couple games of Call of Duty. It's Fortnite dude. A little Fortnite, you can sneak it all in. But yeah, I fully understand the the Desire to do this, but like

You don't want to look at you don't want to look at escaping from your life You don't want to see like like my your life with your wife and child There's like something you need a vacation from every week. You're never gonna get it It's all because chasing it once a week once a month. That's week. Because you're never gonna get it. You're gonna be chasing it once a week, once a month. And you're never gonna, yeah, that's where it starts. It's a negative way to look at it too. You're never gonna be fulfilled with like,

I'm happy of just getting blackout drunk one day with my, one day a month with my buddies. You need to change your perspective. You've gotta get fulfilled from what you have in front of us. Why you got married? Why you gotta pregnant in the first place. Yeah. Or also, like fucking Savvy said,

look at a new job, but some of you work five days a week or something, you know what I mean? You make the same amount of money or maybe you just need a change in your quality of life where you're like, all right, I work five days a week and now I do have time for my wife and time for my social life.

Get in only fans, dude. Yeah, start putting your whole out. And I also say everyone does I don't know how old our friend here is I don't know what his setup is but there are years of like everyone who has you know who carves out any kind of success any kind of like whatever comfort there's there's always there are years that are harder than others and there's years where you're going gonna have less social free time than others. And like, you might just have to put your nose to the grindstone the next few years

to you know, be more, you might not see your boys at all. You might not even hang out with your family leisurely that much. You might be working a lot to save up some money and to like feel comfortable with this kid and that that, you'll get that back later on too. Life is long brother. It's, you know, you might have a couple tough years with less hanging out with the fellas, but you know those relationships are for life So good luck Congratulations on the kid

Congrats, buddy. Yeah, you have something cute to take us out on man. Why is man this? Tavros how carry I'm a fucking I'm so I'm just kind of a dumb dumb Just a pretty face. I know I've gotten by all my looks all my life Stop Elvis gas love the show boys. I think it's an excellent show. Thanks, man Yeah question for you Me and my fiance recently got engaged and we're playing the wedding Okay, I you know, I put a bunch of money towards this wedding every week, like over $1,000 a week. How is it a wedding?

We're taking cash. And we're starting to put together our registry for the wedding. Foley doesn't even do that. And to be honest with you, I really don't care about any of the stuff that my fiance put on the registry. As a guy, I don't care about nice plates or dishes and knives and all this home good stuff that I really don't care about. However, I'm like a nice smoker.

I just want to sit outside and see her mope my feet for like six hours. That's fucking sick. If she left alone and just chill on the weekends. However, my fiance saying that the smoker that I want is costing too much money. I guess my question is, what do I put on this registry? Like, what do guys put on a wedding registry? Because I have no idea what I want. Help me be a person. I mean, yeah, cash is nice.

I guess the honeymoon fund's nice. But other than that, I mean, I'm kind of struggling to find anything on the registry. What's the $5,000 trigger? I mean, what's the $5,000 trigger? I kind of get it. Yeah. I don't see a problem. Put the trigger on the fucking registry. guy Get it. I don't see a problem put the trigger on the fucking I think some registries you can don't not donate but like you can gift

A thousand Hey, you're 80% of the way to your goal Maybe a couple of your boys get together and say hey, we're gonna fucking you know Let's let's let's let's come up with yeah Yes do it that way yeah, and by the way this is actually really not like the guy we were talking to last time It's like fucking get a smoker have the boys over While you watch the kids But it's also like a listen dude if you're putting away a thousand dollars a week you're making cash you can afford the

trip like that's another thing so it's like dude just put on the fucking would you get me the uni pizza oven to get that throw that on there it's a couple hundred bucks that you somebody can buy that thing you like it you can afford haven't used it yet okay doing no carbs no carbs. Okay. Supposed to be. But I mean I'm doing carbs where I don't need to be making pizzas in my house. There's a big difference between not doing carbs and then fucking being a pizza maker. Yeah, yeah, sure. But you can afford it.

Being a pizza maker. You know, so like just fucking, if you don't, if she doesn't want to be, you know, don't die on this hill, you know, fucking throw something on someone and go buy something go buy I feel like the ethics of the wedding registry are like, you know Make sure you have a range of prices on there Okay range of price items, but yeah put on a couple expensive things and if someone wants to get it Someone wants to get it and you know, it's up to them. It's not like you're forcing anyone to buy you a smoker So also you're putting away a thousand when is the wedding wedding can you put away a hundred for a smoker? Yeah, can you make it 1100 though and then yourself to a present? Yeah, exactly

I mean he's got to be making cash, dude. He's got to be walking with like a thousand a week He's walking with like three grand a week I know to cover all your bills and be okay putting a thousand dollars a week away Yeah, that's fucking hey my hat's off to you big guy fire your own fucking trigger invite me over I'll bring my pizza make take the cash fuck the registry What her get her silverware and mixing bowls and all that stuff. I can't take a one fucking thing I would want on a right but that I felt that yeah my fucking smoker if my wife is like, what would you want to put on them like I? Would have no idea. I have no personality. I don't know what I would want. Yeah, that's a great

I mean, I think a smoker would be awesome. A car, naked eaters, I don't know. A race car. I think, yeah, it would be cool. It would be over the top shit. It would be like a sauna. A kegerator. Yeah, yeah. I just bought a sauna. Yeah, me too, Electric.

Yeah. Would you get an infrared? A real deal big dick one. Big, big guy. You putting that inside or outside? Inside. Inside. It's for

the time being I'm gonna get it I'm gonna redo the garage and put a song trying to one up nice temporary son only temporary son all right I bought it over the three of us now you do guys if it's got room for the three of us you definitely got me be it says two to three people so one of us at a time. With the door open. One's a watcher. Yeah, I don't know. I never you didn't have a registry, did you? We actually did have an Amazon registry. But I felt the same thing. I was like, I don't know, a blanket. Nice sheets, expensive ass sheets. Like, thanks to sheets are nice. You know,

the thing is, I'm shit around the house that you could use I mean Yeah, I really do feel like it's like you know go crazy add whatever you really want to on that I say put the fucking smoker on it put it on or also like do something that's in the world smoker if you're like I like sitting outside for six hours drinking beers get some cool fucking Kegler like frigid rate like a College boy fridge or set up the hangout section sure and then just pull the chief you need to pull the trigger on the fucking grill yourself no offense if he's putting a G hot away I don't know what

she's putting away a week but if the guy wants to put a fucking smoker on your eye I fully I fully honey I fully 100% I have any something a good dude. I know well Here's what usually the other you do you could even say like buy me half the smoker Like only put up like what you're saying of the like yeah help me fund half of my Or like you know just even put it put a certain amount towards a smoker cap it at three grand even if it's a $6,000 Sure, what can you get a smoker for three grand two grand five grand that's not that I need a fucking smoker bro yeah you know I need a smoker for Baltimore all right well there you go buddy good for you good congratulations the smoker on there put

your foot down listen don't let this fucking whore take over your life listen if you set up the link DM me I'll pull money towards the fucking I'll pull money towards the smoke actually we literally will Yeah, literally send us a send it if the red if the you will get at least $100 from stopby baby enterprises And $5 from eldest what am I made out of money? Eldis. And what am I made out of money? That's almost his whole weekly stipend here. Every mistake Eldis makes we deduct $1,000 from his yearly pay.

And any mention of a non-sponsor brand name we deduct Eldis pays that way. Any brand name or if they're a podcast sponsors that don't sponsor you. So even though Helix used to be a sponsor, we mentioned them. That's coming out of Elders Sand. Sure. He's wearing his mouth about Amazon too. If it makes, he was, you're right. That's a big one.

If he doesn't bleep it, we'll see. If it makes it to air, he gets charged. I'm a big out and even got myself to sell. Yeah, there you go. Well thank you guys for coming on. Thanks for the treat. Thank you the treat thank you always a blast uh... go listen to the pod see the boys live and uh... we will see you guys next week bye bye thank you buddy