Stavvy's World - #73 - Ethan Suplee

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

The great Ethan Suplee joins the pod to discuss being on the Mt. Rushmore of fat guys, his countless classic roles, his weight loss journey, setting the record straight on the infamous P***y Posse, a humiliating on-set moment before filming a dancing scene with Rosario Dawson, and much more. Ethan and Stav help callers including a man whose little brother found his buttplug, and a man whose life and marriage was euphorically transformed by listening to Stavvy's World. Check out Ethan Suplee's podcast American Glutton: https://www.americanglutton.net/ Follow Ethan Suplee on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ethansuplee https://twitter.com/EthanSuplee Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Oppa! Welcome everybody to Stavvy's World. 904-800 Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We got a double track suit day here at Stavvy's World. We're coming in, my boy Ethan, truly pumped to have you here. We're a very body positive show and you're at the Mount Rushmore of like just in terms of like just fat guys and I know you know you've lost your you look great now but there is like spiritually you'll always be a fat guy well I've been still technically fat still technically fat yeah you don't you transitioned into the dream which is like just kind of like burly like like bouncer. Like Burley is awesome. Like Burley's fun. Cause it's like they, and like back in, you know,

you weren't really considered fat in like the thirties. You know, it's like Burley is not a fat guy. It's a different kind of guy. Like that's what like Olympic boxers looked like. Like your physique, you know what I mean? And it's like, it's an old school show of strength. For most of human history, this is what the strongest man alive looked like. Yeah before like, you know steroids and like cutting and Instagram and Instagram and egg whites

When people when people were eating egg yellows, this is what this is what I'm looking Yeah, yeah gotta have they gotta have some yolk but Yeah, dude, we're pumped to have you here. Ethan, if you don't know, I mean, just, we're friends, so I do have to suck you off a little bit for the camera, though. I mean, like, a legend, we got one of the best character actors of all time, if you ask me, worked with everybody in, I mean,

your resume is hysterical, it's awesome. It's ridiculous. Like, you've been a part of some of the fuck some like in so many incredible movies American history acts obviously Yeah, and it's like yeah for some people putting together. Yes. This man was insanely fat So some of his some of his roles you're like who what are you talking about? Which guy was in American history X? Well also starting with boy meets world especially for a certain generation right like it's like boy meets world boys rules your first act by the way It's always weird especially for people your age to yeah think about boy meets world because I think you were one

When we were doing that show it what year is it 90 94? Oh, I was I was born 89, but yeah, okay, so you were five but but still Literally, I do you are it's so funny You think about you were one of the first actors like I was like I knew about cuz that was my show And you were fat and I was a fat child Oh, I had always associated with with the plus-size community even it like there was a I've talked told the story before There was a real turning point in my life. Honestly right around time boy meets world came out where When you're like seven you get to start buying school lunch Yeah, and my mom gave me she would pack my lunches, but she gave me milk money

Little did she know you could get milk for free. No kid wanted his milk So I could ask there was a little table where you put remember John Ruraldo's me those went to elementary school together You could put a lot of you. There's a table you could put your Milks your unwanted milks and they were just free. There was like a free table There was a kind of a socialist system going on where it was like whatever you don't want is up for grab for the public Yeah, so I would get that and I would spend my 30 cents of milk money on a cupcake every day. And there was a literally I traced that but seven years old there's an old Greek lady who sold unregulated sweets in our elementary school. She just said I don't know why they allowed her.

Yeah they just allowed this old Greek woman to make like homemade cupcakes with like you know icing from the from a little canister I had a cupcake every day For the three years and it was like that was literally when my lifelong addiction To just being a fat kid like that's that started and that's exactly what I got I was a huge boy Meets World guy. And I remember specifically your character, because I was like, hell yeah, dude, the fat guy is like, you were a bully,

but in my head I was like, that's cool. He was like, fuck Cory. Even though I liked Cory too, you were the first complicated anti-hero in my life. You were the first, you were like Tony Soprano, you know what I mean? Or like Walter White, where it's like, yeah. But then later on you just became good.

And I remember the, I still remember the Vader episode because I was also a wrestling guy. So there's a lot, you remember that episode? Yeah, his dad was Vader in the show at the trailer park. Hilarious. We captured a generation. You really did. We had so many crossovers.

You really did, bro. And so yeah, Boy Meets World, but then you're just like movie resumes You know, you've worked with I mean the direct and I want to ask you about that too But like you've worked with incredible directors in incredible movies, you know Remember the Titans 2 is like kind of in that a huge like, you know, Bruckheimer legendary like Four quadrant classics that everybody saw with an incredible ensemble cast but like you know John Q you work with Denzel yeah go ahead I'll just like just I

mean so much in set your your movie career is so crazy Unstoppable fucking Tony Scott one of the coolest guys that was his his last movie? Whoa, dude. And of course, Wolf of Wall Street, Scorsese. It's just like, and then again, truly, and it is funny that we became friends, because I also was a, you're gonna think I'm lying, but just like true devout My Name is Earl fan. We were a poor family without cable And so I may do with network television a way after my generation had moved

We didn't have internet to up with dial-up till I was like in high school whatever and like and so there my I watched so much of my like fucking around as like a as like a 12 to 16 year old we had a basement television with the fucking antennas where no one, it was in the kitchen. You're tweaking it. I'm literally tweaking to get you in the squad just right. And I would watch like, I remember watching the PJs, UPN, it was also a VHS.

So I watched like a lot of VHS is down there and it was it was also the kitchen and The kitchen and the TV kitchen was like the bootleg TV room, right? Because it's like we had the living room upstairs My parents were and upstairs were our bedrooms, but the basement was kitchen an office my dad But which was a fax machine still might be there He never got a fax. He never he doesn't know how to use it It was the hilarious that he bought one but and that was just like or I spent all my time watching network television and I was also a big like I

Think I was starting to figure out that comedy was what I wanted to do But I couldn't really admit it to my parents So I watched a lot of sitcom like comedy. I watched every comedy that I could. And I weirdly really got into just like, you know, must see TV because you guys were on that. You guys were a big NBC. Like right before the office, it was like you guys were the biggest comedy on TV. Yeah, I think the office had done four episodes and were like on the bubble to get cancelled and then the head of NBC was like no I got a show to anchor this night and based on our success the Office became successful and then 30 Rock and wow became a whole block yeah stuff exactly I loved

all those I mean 30 Rock is still my favorite, probably my favorite sitcom. The writing is unbelievable, but it was like, so yeah, but yeah, just an insane amount of stuff, and again, so important to the plus size community, I would say, because it was like, because a lot of people, because you had a huge transformation too, like you got, you were big as hell in a lot of your roles. Like you, you know.

I was smaller for my name is Earl I was still overweight as I am today, but I had lost weight by the time my name is okay But yeah, yeah, yeah for sure you you were you were like right you were you were in the I would say the regular Fat guy zone yeah You made any connection to this but the creator of My Name is Earl was also from Baltimore. Oh wow. Or that area. I had no idea.

And so the fact that there was a crab shack and a lot of the names of the towns are all Baltimore-centric. It might have been a thing, especially back then, it might have been like, oh, holy shit. Yeah. But no, literally, I loved your character because again, I just associate, I just like, first of all, because we had so much history is it's holy shit It's the bully from Is this the bully from fucking and every time I would see you that's like when you love something as a kid Every time I saw you I was like, hell. Yeah, that's my guy

Bro and it was like like probably didn't know your name until we were friends That's the way I think you're a classic like who the that guy's fucking awesome. What the fuck's his name? You're like one of the most classic that guy for years, you know and so But but but yeah every time you would pop up and some I would be like fuck. Yeah, dude Oh, he's friends with Ashton Kutcher and um butterfly effect He's a fat goth. And then obviously going up until the Wolf of Wall Street where I was like, I knew who

you were just like, I just was getting more into just like movie stuff and like actually researching that stuff. And it was just like, but even then it was like that pride of like oh Hell yeah, it was post it was post losing weight And it was also just like cool to see you in you know one of the just such a sick movie with Scorsese and you know an incredible cast Yeah, that movie was awesome. Yeah, that was a bucket list movie. Absolutely sure. Oh, dude Yeah, I can't even imagine what that like that must feel so sick to be like you got Scorsese Just throwing I mean dude his last movie was incredible killers of the flower moon. You see it. Yeah, he's still

There's no drop-off in the and he's so old. Yeah, it's insane amazing. Yeah, they're working and hasn't retired Yeah, and yeah, yeah. Oh dude. These guys who are true artists, it's like, oh. They can't stop. I don't relate to that at all. I can't wait to find the way out. I can't wait to just like, let me just, 2025 folks, one big tour and then it's over. So that's, that's awesome. Because that was, I mean, yeah, I mean, we might, I mean, we might as well start there, like, you get that, like, that must feel, because you're also friends

with Leo, which is sick, that's cool. That was also funny, like, because I stayed at your, at a guest house, and it was like, you know, I'm not snooping, you're literally, your pictures, like, the way any human being has pictures of his friends, but it's funny that your friends are like, oh, it's Leon, you and Leonardo DiCaprio having Chinese food. And it's just like- Right, from when we were teenagers. From when you were teens, yeah.

And you were big as shit. It was like, that's the guy I know. That's the guy I fell in love with. And it was like, so that's, was it like, did he put in a good word or was it like you had to go through the whole process? I mean, I went through the process, but then I think it was like hey We need a group of guys and yeah, I was yeah I'm pretty sure I got a good word of course of course

But that's also just got to feel cool to be like it's a bucket list movie working with an it's the I think the best director Ever not personally that my especially for my taste damn good You know that at least he's in the conversation for best ever. And then it's gotta feel awesome to just do it with your boy. Like to get to go to work with a guy you've known since you were like a child, that must have been so sick. It was amazing and we lived together for the whole thing. Oh, hell yeah.

When my wife and kids would come out, we'd all stay together and it was a really good time. Yeah, that's awesome. because you had a because you basically just grew up I mean if you're gonna do if you're in boy meets world you how old were you when you that started a teenager like 17 17 yes so you just kind you basically just grew up from that moment on was that that was your first first job first job yeah yeah wow and you but you grew up here, or you were born here in New York, right? I was born here, but we moved to LA.

Like immediately. Yeah, I was a little kid. I don't actually remember living here, but I do remember coming back here quite often as a kid. I remember one year in the 80s coming here and more people died from heat exposure in the subways. Holy shit. Then died above ground.

There was some crazy statistic. Hundreds of people died. That's wild. And my parents were like, we're not gonna come back. We might be really done with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess the mid-80s were where it could've gone either way. The city could've gone either way.

My first memories of being here as a teenager, like on my own, like coming here without my parents, Times Square was like, you'd walk onto a block and a dude would meet you and run down a list of shit he could get you. Damn, yeah. All the drugs, heroin, crack, guns, women. Yeah.

And then halfway up the block when you're just kind trying to zone out and like not look at him because if you look at him, you owe him money. Right, right, right, right, right. And you get to the halfway block and he kind of fades off and a new guy meets you and walks you the rest of the way and it was all like peep shows, porn stuff. Like that is the New York I really remember and like scoring drugs in the Lower East Side, right?

I'm Tompkins Square Park where every storefront facing the park sold drugs out of like a hole in the back of the bodega Those are my memories of New York and now you come and it's like Disneyland. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it sucks It's like I don't want that level of drug selling, but like a little bit of drug. It would be like just nice. I would so much rather have one heroin guy than like, you know, the M&M store next to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville next to like, I just want a little grime. I hear you. The grime is edging back. Yeah, that's true. That's like there was a period where it was grime-free

Yeah, and now I saw very open drug dealing in SoHo Okay. All right, we're back That's what so so but like You move there and you just kind of I assume if you're gonna get a job on a show like that It's like from the from the jump you were like a little actor. No, I was I we moved there and I Went to school with actors So you happen to be in LA and everyone's an actor so all your friends just were like little kid actors Basically and like I would go with them. Sometimes somebody would invite me like hey

It's a school day, but you want to come with me to work tomorrow and we have to do like three hours of school in a trailer But yeah, you'll be on the set and so I would go to sets with people and be like this motherfuckers live in the light Three hours of school, and otherwise he's playing make believe. That's the fucking life. And like the actors were mostly not in school. They were mostly working, which seemed cool too. Like that motherfucker's rich.

He doesn't have to go to school. And you know, making $1,000 a week you know making a thousand dollars a week was rich. Oh my god for a 13 Oh, you give a kid $20. Yeah, and he's like, I'm the richest kid alive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I remember just working with at my dad's shitty In his wood shop just sweeping doing nothing Yeah, and he would give me like $20 and you're rich like, fuck yes dude. Three more of these, I'm gonna buy Madden. Right, exactly. Three more of these, I'm gonna buy Madden,

have enough left over for a couple ice cream cones. Yeah, yeah. I mean that was, there was another aspect to acting that was interesting to me, which was like all the actors that I knew as a kid, people really didn't look at them. Like I had attention because of my weight. as a kid, people really didn't look at them. Like I had attention because of my weight. People would look at me and stare at me because of my weight and that made me very uncomfortable.

And I noticed like people were not looking at the actors I knew because they were whoever they were. They were looking at this very surface thing of like, that's Johnny from fucking yeah the Wonder Years or a rooster and I was like oh that's gotta be so relieving that they're kind of like who they actually are is anonymous and it became this like invisibility cloak I could wear like I'm an actor now nobody's looking at me because I'm 500 pounds Right looking at me because they saw me on TV

Interesting. So there was that like bit of psychology. There's like a lot of anonymity in acting you right? That's true I mean even you think about somebody like which I don't like that's the funny thing is like comedians Especially with podcasts and just like I think it's a more confessional art form anyway But you're right where it's like I do feel like You know you started a podcast when you're 25 with your friends that you never thought anyone was gonna listen to and you said the most Just honest ridiculous shit ever and then it's like oh it ended up being insanely successful now Ten years later and probably in perpetuity

I'll be in talking into a micro like I never expected to tell so much of myself But you're so right in that like like what the fuck do we know about Brad Pitt nothing? And that's like the most famous guy Yeah You know what his PR team wants you to know like you don't we don't know shit You're so I never thought of like actors that way because it's like, yeah, I know. One knows that like nobody unless somebody writes some kind of crazy profile.

And even then you get a snapshot and you're only getting what they want to show. Yeah. So is that really them? Yeah. You know, like like I'm a fan of come down. I love listening to come down. Come down for me was what it felt like to be in a locker room. Like if I was if I to be in a locker room. Like if I was, if I was hiding in a locker room, well, they wouldn't have made, the other two wouldn't have made the team. Right. I'm the only, I'm the only varsity athlete on the team on the podcast. Let's,

but your brittle bones on Mr. Friedland and Nick would have never been able to listen to a coach tell him anything. So, you're listening in on an honest conversation amongst yes teenage boys it really was just we were yet we were there's no like there was no filter was when we finally met my expectation was not it's going to constantly be dick jokes right some people with actors, it is like, my expectation of you is that you're Randy from My Name is Earl.

Right. Or another person could be that you're the racist guy from American History X, which gets scary sometimes because when people are really into that movie, you're like, what? Oh yeah. Did you not get it? Dude, yeah, oh, oh yeah, you don't say, yeah,

I don't know anything about that with Cum Town. It's like people not getting that a joke, Yeah, oh, oh, yeah, you don't say I don't know anything about that with come town People might getting that a joke that a joke isn't what we believe sometimes, right? Yeah, I would say there is a there is a little crossover between the American history X guys and a certain percentage of come town listeners Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so there's that but there is Probably a level of anonymity for you where people just make this assumption, they know you, and so you're like, you don't have any idea of who I actually am. That's a good point, because they don't, right?

And especially, come down in particular, it was like, that was even not even a real dynamic. That was what we did to get through an episode, but it was like, and it was weird people some people just like Thought we were like we slept in like a triple bunk bed, right? And then we know it's like friends saw each other Four hours a week and it's like we were friends, but it was never like people really thought we were like, you know born and you know, we were like

Triplets or some shit was really bizarre and it was like no man We just had a good rapport on Mike like when Adam was shitting his pants while that was awesome Yeah, I remember thinking like well their roommates, so he probably does this all the time Yeah, yeah, yeah that big of it. Yeah Because yeah roommates typically right right right right yeah, and, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, What is going on? That was like have we jumped the show? I don't I still to this day don't really know what happened right like I think he just shit his pants They made a meal out of shit in his pants And it was a legendary moment that all that I think about sometimes and still smile Because like Adam was good at like always being in on the bit

But that felt like a moment where it was like I thought he was in on it And then I'm like wait is he actually this sad about shit now. I feel actually bad In the chair, which is weird and like why That's just disrespectful and shit on your friends property when you're a grown man without like I don't know ass cancer like if he had like some condition or like withdrawing from heroin. Right, right, right. Very sick. Not what was going on just took a cold brew too fast. That was it. And it's like you should be able to figure this out but no that you know that's a good point, because I guess it bothers me a little bit, because I feel like a lot of people just have no idea who I am and make

the assumption that they do. And with stand-up too, I think your stand-up is very funny. It's not always exactly who you are. Right, right, right. It's a show. It's heightened. And for stand-up, I think what's nice, what's fun artistically is like, the pursuit is to get as close as you can

to certain, to what I want people to know about. There's, you know, certain things, and that's another struggle is like, when you start, you're like, whatever for a laugh, and then you get to a point, you're like, well, I have a life, I want certain things to be my own. But like, there is that pursuit, but you're absolutely right. It's like, people just get these snapshotshots and that's a good perspective to see it as

like more of an invisibility cloak than, I guess the difference is those are roles and this is at least somewhat derived from my life even though especially on Come Town and certainly certain jokes it's like I am effectively playing a role right but at least it's it's it blurs the line even one step further but it is a good perspective to be like no that actually is almost like a good thing because the guy they great the guy they think exists it's just not a real guy yeah yeah yeah that's interesting what I've shown you for an actor it is different because I'm always, unless I create something which I've never done because I am very lazy, it's just somebody else

has this idea. And the other thing that was really kind of a relief for me was if I'm playing a role, the role is meant to look like I look. Right. And that actually did give me a physical relief because I never felt good about myself so interesting I myself Ethan Supplee feel shame and worthless and awful and and hate myself to some degree right but like the character I'm playing is meant to be this way so it takes the burden maybe the character has a little bit of that sure But Ethan's a plea doesn't because Ethan's plea is correct. It's so awful that I just referred Before but I know you mean yeah, yeah

I could experience relief because I'm now doing something that I'm perfect for yeah, I mean I think especially like the it's interesting to think about how like, you would think that being overweight and struggling with your weight in an industry that was so brutal and so about, you know, body image and all this stuff would be harder, but I totally see what you're saying,

where it was like, it was a relief for you because you weren't in the like, getting judged for your body thing. It was almost like that was that was we knew no one's like that guy's hot so once you cross that threshold very very small percentage of game but that's interesting to think about it is like cuz we've also talked about this. We do have pretty different Like I if it wasn't for health I would be a little less fat than this But I like being fat like I actually like the physical thing of it. I never I when I was younger I had certainly some

I certainly had some like Image stuff because kids were cruel. I didn't have I didn't have like I didn't believe myself in other ways But you realize like a lot of people have a lot of problems weight is just one of Hundreds of insecurities that people can have and so it's like yeah, I have this thing that's not traditionally Attractive or traditionally like on, but it's like, I have all these other things that are so much better. So it's like, yeah, you got me on,

maybe I'm a little fatter than you, but it's like, I have, you know, I'm more fun to be around, I'm a better person, I'm nicer, I'm not trying to be cruel, whatever. It was like, there was all these things where, because I was in elementary school school a shirt in the pool guy Yeah, and I really kind of came into my own probably a little through comedy probably a little bit through You know just having fat role my like Chris Farley like those fun try to be John

I think what like your freedom with your body is so inspirational to me and your calendars When I first hung your calendar the first time and my wife saw it she like was like very concerned like what the fuck I didn't know this about you Always kind of thinking I was a little gay Always kind of thinking I was a little gay But we were talking off Mike if you were eldest met the right gay man at the right time Yeah, he could 100% have been your husband right now. Yeah I needed was the right amount of attention the right when you were like super fat Really on heroin if a if a gay guy nursed you to sobriety dude. It was like you are valuable

I don't know what my life you know I could have had a totally different trajectory totally different yeah but like your freedom with your body I the first time I ever experienced that where I was like fuck that is something I want so bad was with Jack Black like Jack takes a shirt off it's not a huge inspiration we never saw Chris Farley or John Candy with their shirts off ever not one time yeah but when Jack Black takes and look I was much bigger than Jack Black I was much bigger than you are but still the fact that you guys, you take your shirt off and you're not trying to hide anything. You have a freedom, which is super enviable. Look, I've lost a lot of weight in the right lighting today. You can see my abs.

Yeah. Which is a big fucking deal. I'm not taking my shirt off. I'm just not doing it because I'm not real comfortable with it. Um, so I'm envious of that with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just not doing it. Yeah, I'm not real comfortable. Yeah with it So I'm envious of that with you. Yeah, totally But but yeah, I just I guess I never thought of like you sort of acting being drawn to acting as a like way to hide Like almost hide in plain sight. Yeah, it's like well, I'm fat a ship, but I'm playing a fat a shit guy Yeah, you know what?? I like the guys written fat. Yeah, or just by fact that they hired me. He's supposed to be fat And now when you're looking at me There's at least a 50-50 chance of you recognize me from something or I'm still the car crash You're rubbernecking right?

Maybe you're not just there. You really think people are staring at you right now? No, not now. No, because well, back in the day, back in the day, the world has changed. First of all, there's way more fat people now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not. They're not a minority. I was a minority growing up. Being obese in the 80s was just a much bigger deal. Right. You know? Yeah. And now it's not really.

That's true. It's not a big deal. No, you could have gotten a reality show back then. Totally. But you know, now. That's so, yeah, that's fascinating, man. And so you were just, and you just spent, so you were like this fat kid

that didn't think he was gonna be an actor, met like enough friends of yours were actors and you were like oh they're now it's like maybe they're just looking at me because they see me from something and so it just kind of and that's basically what got you into it was like peer pressure and like trying to hide it was like acting was like was like a metaphorical t-shirt in the swimming pool for you. It's such a good job for lazy people because you like the amount and that's not to say it's

necessarily easy it's long hours it can be physically taxing but like the the action if you look at the actual amount of work done like if the work is from the time they say action to the time they say cut and the rest is waiting around work. It's just so lopsided. Yeah. Yeah, that's true There's always a buffet You know you could like Four seasons brunch buffet on some things and then it could be like, you know If McDonald's did a buffet sure the thing sure which is not super but I like you can make do yeah No, and he said I've been on I've been like to make do. You can make do. Yeah, for sure. No, any set I've been on,

I've been able to make do with some snacks. Yeah, yeah. Good snacks. That was appealing to me. And then the fact that like, who I am and the things I feel shameful about are being obfuscated by doing this. It just is like, I'm becoming camouflaged.

And that was really really appealing and then look I Was never I I always thought so poorly of myself that I never had any luck with the girls and I was definitely something of like Girls are attracted to success if I can get successful and it would have been if I was a successful car salesman I would have thought like sure if I'm get successful. And it would have been, if I was a successful car salesman, I would have thought, if I'm successful at something, they'll find that attractive. Because there's nothing else certainly about me that's gonna be attractive.

Right, right, right. So that was for sure. I feel bad for, there's a lot of, not obviously Harvey Weinstein, but if Harvey Weinstein wasn't- Nice start to a sentence, by the way. Look, look, look. Not Harvey Weinstein, but if Harvey Weinstein wasn't... Nice start to a sentence, by the way. Look, look, look. Not, not Harvey Weinstein.

But look, if he wasn't a sociopath, and his major motivation was like, I'm an ugly, unloved kid who just wants attention from women, I don't, I, you know... I mean, on some level, psychologically, like I at least am wired in the way where it's like everything you're doing is for women's attention. Right. One way or another. And it's like I mean, comedy, I definitely feel that way. And it's like, you know, that to me, it was like, you know, I always I don't know. I just I just feel like you are

Successful. I mean now it's transition to like It's definitely what got me started on certain things. It's such a base human need of like to feel Wanted or affection from the people you want to like you And like but that's really what got comedy started for me was like there was a little bit of being funny around people was what always drew people to me. I never really had a problem, you know, making friends or whatever being like I was always a ham in the center of attention. And I did like I liked acting. I never it's so funny.

I never even considered like, I don't know know being fat or anything like I literally like the performance I like the attention more than anything like the attention on like I think it was a I like stand up more than acting because I don't I mean maybe if I did stage stuff, but like I just Theater stuff which is a whole other thing that's hilarious but like because I was in like little school plays and shit and then and then it went to and Then I kind of in the middle of my life I was like no, I'm an I'm an athlete now

Like I tried to you know, I played football and I was like, I'm actually acting's actually gay and I'm I'm actually fucking gonna get jacked or whatever. Yeah, and then that just didn't really work I ended up being like the the clown on the on the team yeah even though it's pretty good whatever but so I don't know it was just like I did a play in in school and I remember it being the first time I got any attention positive attention for anything I'd done and that feeling good having people who never said a word to me saying like you were great you know right it felt it does feel very good that's why I feel bad for like you know the new kind of idea of what power

dynamics are because it's like look you take a kid like me who has no self-esteem, and they're just trying to figure out how to find love and be loved, and it's like, well, having success is kind of a way to lure people into loving you. So I don't think I'm a sociopath, which maybe makes me a sociopath. I don't know. This is insane.

You've been like happily married to the woman who got you out of your additions for like to a loving woman Who was like sat you down? It was like who you had a friendship with who you got to know as a human being at your worst And you have children together and you have a nice life together Whatever weird self-esteem you're going through. No, through about being a sociopath is crazy. You never did any of that stuff. You never did any weird. But I think there was for sure a calculation in there of like, and it didn't seem to work

because my wife didn't give a shit about my weight. Also came from a family where her father and her sister were way more famous than me, right? So fame wasn't doing it. It wasn't doing it at all. It might have been a negative Literally, I'd really like this guy, but he's a fucking actor I had to win her over. Yeah spite. Yeah. Yeah but I think that that was part of it was like this idea of like I want anonymity And I want to be somehow more attractive right right right which makes I mean You know you said and you just worked at it

And then you were like you know and basically from then on you were you were just pretty much working steadily right since since that started And then and that who were who was that group of friends like was Was the Caprio guy you went to high school with or you guys didn't go to high school But we just became friends are there any people from that from that school that you're still like Friends with any of those acting is BC. Oh hell. Yeah. Yeah, awesome. So lay moon fry. Oh nice You know, I don't I'm now a grandfather. Which is hilarious. Yeah. Because you're how old you 40? 48. I mean, that's so funny. That just goes. Yeah, that's that's crazy.

That you're a grandfather. And by the way, I have four daughters and a granddaughter and a wife. So my life is still motivated by by women. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. But when you were when you're when you're, you know, acting and do it, you know, you're out there and you've sort of achieved, you've half achieved what you want. You're you have a career, you're a well-known guy, whatever. You're still you were saying you're still not having any success with women and you have all these friends that were like, you know

They're getting pussy left and right. Yeah, literally the pussy the famous pussy posse, which Clear the air were kids in the 90s I'm actually shocked that there's never been a lawsuit over this. Yes. Yes. Yes, you know Well, this is the news news magazine to do it to clear it up to clear the air. Yeah, this will get picked up for sure. I don't know that I or any of my friends have ever talked about this. Oh, wow. Here we go. But Stavis rolled exclusive. There you know

we were me and the majority of my friends in the 90s were working actors. Yep, but there was one guy of us who was way more famous than the rest of us. And I believe there was someone from New York Magazine, a gal who was like doing an article on him. Yep. And so hanging out as we hung out in New York, not once ever did any one of us ever say those words, ever.

And he won't say it, you won't even say it right now, which respect. Fuck no, because I get so stupid. You won't be caught, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not once, that is such a fucking fabricated bit of nonsense. It's also like, oh wow, rich actors in New York were trying to get pussy. You don't say, you know, wow, rich actors in New York were trying to get pussy. You don't say, you know, like, yes, in the when in their 20s,

there was definitely like that. That's a natural thing. Go find anybody in their 20s who's a straight. Yeah. And they're trying. Yeah. Yeah. Laid. I mean, what you do. Right. Right. Right. We weren't fucking gross degenerate. Yeah. Called ourselves that. That's so awful.

And we're the pussy posse. Maybe my buddies are the pussy posse. Pussy posse number one. You guys have jackets with monogrammed pussies like detailed, right. Biological drawings of a vagina in silk like you're like you're in Greece. You have a you have the letterman's jacket. By the way, the person I feel worse for in that situation is that they put Sarah

Gilbert as a member who was just as like and she's a chick. Yeah, has a chick's libido. Yeah, she likes girls. But like there was no it's just like there was nothing ever gross like that Yeah, yeah, yeah put into prayer right right right, but you were just a group of friends hanging out Yeah, what and you were just had the success. I mean those got not you apparently you were fucking peeled out to fat And I would never had much luck with the girls. Yeah. I really did. Yeah. That's a, yeah, that's a, I mean we had, we just had a buddy of ours who was not, he was huge.

He was like Peter when we had Peter on here. Not famous at all. Just one of the coolest guys in the world. And it was funny because he was kind of the same way and he would just talk about his dick wouldn't even work. It was just like just like it was just like oh a woman would have had sex with me right and now she's just she'll spend the night and it feels good to have titties pressed on on your breasts that was drugs huh from drugs I'm just being drunk as shit very fat you know oh I definitely had a few instances where where and it was such a disappointment because it was like finally Yeah, I've done this thing and I'm too fat

Yeah, I've been there where my dick just doesn't work Yeah, and you you were unfortunately prior to all the dick pill revolution have that yeah Thank you still sponsor us. I can't believe we don't have a dick pill sponsor. Every time this comes up, you could be making free money right now, folks. We're talking to a member of the Pussy Posse himself. Ethan Suplee, Pussy Posse approved, dick pills. That's what you could have right now.

We would spin his words, we would edit him, and it would be like, I was a member of the Pussy Posse, in a different guy's voice. You're losing money, folks. That is, but that is I also that must I totally know that vibe to have just like, you're the fat friend around like and you just the hottest hottest girl like New York with the models that are here working and they like every year you leave and every year you come back and the models are exactly the same yeah you know like there's nothing changed maybe they're all new

people but they're all 19 years old and like, and yeah, and I was the friend who like had girls rest their head on my shoulder. Your friend doesn't like me. It's nice to know that exists at every level of success. It's like, no, the fat guy's not even when you're famous, he's not the main guy. He's just, he's just the the fame the even more famous guys fat friend you're just but that much honestly you were the top-level fat sidekick it doesn't get much better than being Leonardo DiCaprio in the 2000s or

in the 90s like sidekick that's the top-level fat sidekick there ever was man so there's some solid sidekick Hall of Famer Hall of Famer fat sidekick and then but you know you got your shit I mean surely thereafter I mean if you're a grandfather it now you must have pretty quickly like yeah Yeah, figured it out with your with your wife. Yes when I because I assumed when you told me you were a grandfather I was like, oh on drugs. He knocked up some woman He doesn't know and he's got a daughter from not even a marriage just a lady He he met twice

When we didn't know each other I was like that's gotta be what it is because your wife's also like yeah Like you both don't feel like people were very that are Grandparents, you know what I mean started very. My wife had our first kid at 19. Wow. Yeah, and I, you know, like I was a drug addict and morbidly obese and hated myself. And that, if that had gone on much longer, I would have died. And I met my wife and she like made me believe that I was worthwhile as a person. That's beautiful.

Yeah, and I got my shit together and have had my shit together for a long time. And it was that. It was like that positive force. Yeah. Because you really were, I mean, you were like, you know, I mean, you tell that story. I don't know if you want to tell an abridged version of like literally, like, you know, you'd been working forever. You finally were like the star, right? Where it was like, what movie? What movie was it? I wasn't the star, but it was like- But you know you've been working forever you finally were like the star right where was like what movie wasn't the star but you had a

big trailer right you got like the fuck yeah getting paid just an obscene amount of money it's like a big studio movie right studio movie called the first 20 million is always the hardest which was an utter failure yeah and that's why nobody's heard of it. Yeah but it was like Mick Jackson who had directed LA story and was a big director and fucking blanking on his name, but a big writer who now does Star Wars and oh wow and oh fuck You want to do a little producing for Christ's sake he you're fucking letting our guests here out on a he made

Island he made a bunch a couple movies first 20 million is the hardest for fuck's sake you He did the movie about cooking There see there. I am you they don't realize that we're 11% rotten tomatoes Disaster no no John Favreau John Favreau. Oh wow And he was coming off Look it had a budget of 17 million dollars. Oh my god office. It made five Dollars that was your fucking Danish budget. That's Ethan's fucking pastries

But it was the first script we had it was our it was dark It was awesome. And then like as we started shooting we kept getting rewrites and they took all the fucks out and they dumbed down the jokes. And then it was also a problem because it was about computers in 2000 when nobody knew what the fuck a computer was even going to be yet and the internet was. And so none of that holds up at all. The technology that they're creating doesn't work. And I was on a lot of drugs, but I had this massive trailer and I was over 500 pounds and there was a heroin drought in Los Angeles. And so I spent the whole night downtown trying to find out my delivery guy had nothing and I couldn't get drugs and finally I went into work withdrawing from drugs.

Oh my God. And like you don't shit a lot when you're using heroin. Yeah. And then sometimes like the shit gets compact and hard and so I've had the experience of coming off heroin where you're just giving birth to a giant fucking boulder. where you're just giving birth and there's other times coming off where your bowels just go to water yeah and so I'm in there I get dressed and you have a big scene that day or what is it I've said dancing a dancing scene Rosario Dawson the hottest

girl of all time Rosario Dawson like 2000 my God. The hottest girl of all time. Rosario Dawson in like 2000. Are you kidding me? Amazing. You're withdrawing, you're 500 pounds going through heroin withdrawals and you're fucking assholes just like on the fritz. And I, and my bowels go to water. I'm in my trailer and I like-

You're about to be on set? About to be on set about to be on set They're like hey Ethan come through not yet. They haven't said that yet But I I know it's gonna happen and I like leap up which for 500 plus pound man. Yeah, very different That's a lot surprised by tops. Yeah, and and My bathroom in my trailer, you know, you're in a trailer So it's like a toilet that

is wedged between a wall and a sink. And there's probably like, it's probably two feet wide. I've never done anything but piss in it. Yeah. And honestly, because of the dimensions of the bathroom and the size of my body and the difficulty in touching stuff wedged together like that, I probably was pissing in the sink more than the toilet. Right, right the right right right toilets often of course Big sink pisses around here nothing wrong with that And there was nothing that the only real bathroom like real toilet is in a trailer across the parking lot Which I didn't shit a lot because I was on heroin right right right and so I was like fuck

I'm not gonna make it across the parking lot and so I like waddle to the bathroom and very awkwardly get my pants or start to get my pants down and turn around and like Try to thrust myself in between this sink and the wall Yeah, and there's not enough room for my body and I get stuck in between this sink and the wall, and there's not enough room for my body, and I get stuck and shit all over me. It's just an eruption. You shit all over the place, wedged into the bathroom?

Wedged into the bathroom. Oh my God. And you know, there's multiple rounds in diarrhea. So the first one is just a giant explosion, and then when I'm there, I just let go, and just fucking shit, and try to put a little pressure into it to aim towards the toilet But it's all in my legs. Yeah

Jesus Christ, and that's when they knock and oh you're covered in shit some PAs like hey There was there was one wardrobe gal who knew I was on drugs and took care of me. And she came in with like hot towels and a plastic bag and helped me clean up. Holy shit. She was very, very kind to me. And you know, that's one of those things where you go like, this is my rock bottom,

was not my rock bottom. Not even close, probably. No. Damn, that's just a. That was just a day in the life. Another, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was just kind of steady, even like, ah. Well anyway, hose me down.

Let's get the tarp out. We'll be after this, man. We need Ethan Shit tarp. Yeah, he's off airing again. Let's get the tarp out. We'll be after this set. We need Ethan Shit Tarp. Yeah, he's off heroin again. Let's get Ethan Shit Tarp in here. And for God's sakes, find the heroin. I mean, we've been looking all night.

Right. Somebody patch this kid up. No, but I actually had to have a doctor called DeSette who wrote a prescription for legal heroin which came in the form of pills. Oh my god. Yeah, and I ate a bunch of those and felt great What a beautiful business You're literally your body is begging you to stop and they're like no no, no, you got a tango with Rosar Come on. We got a movie that's gonna lose 16 million nine hundred and fifty five thousand dollars for God's sakes Come on, we got a movie that's gonna lose $16,955,000.

For God's sakes, he can't go to rehab now. We have to make the shittiest movie of all time. I mean, it is a pretty much a disaster of a movie. And that's what they were like risking your life for. That's what they're prescribing you more drugs for. They didn't know, no. I had, listen. You know what I mean though. Maybe the industry, your agents, somebody made it. It's just like,

you're hiding it from people. Oh, you know what I mean? Of course. I mean the doctor I'm telling, I have pinched sciatic nerves and like, and she's in the, in my trailer going, why does it smell so bad as shit? Yeah. But you know, the sciatica, yeah. That's literally what I said. Yeah. Smell so bad as shit You know how it's connected to your asshole and if you you hit your knee just right fountain of shit comes out of your

500 pound ass Goddamn dude, that's good though that you were fucking you know, I love that that wasn't even that wasn't even Rock bottom, but you know, thank God you found like the Positivity and like your wife and an actual somebody who believes in you and life just kind of was nice to you Yeah, that is what it takes. I did go to rehab Not too long after yeah Yeah, and and yeah, and then you've been clean for a long long time now. Yeah, and and Dieting on and off that was like the second hurdle after I'd been sober for about a year I woke up one day and was like, oh, I still can't breathe when I lay down

Yeah, and I've still worry about like dying in my sleep totally and and so maybe I need to focus on that too Yeah, yeah, and I get that. I mean literally for me dying in my sleep. Totally. And so maybe I need to focus on that too. Yeah. Yeah, and I get that. I mean, literally for me, it's also just pure health stuff of like, ah, going upstairs is too hard. It's rough. It's too hard. Like, it can be, you can get your,

it's one thing they need to catch your breath. It's another thing to be like, all right, I need 40 minutes to get over a suitcase, going up four flights of stairs with a suitcase you know what was amazing for me and it's still true today there came a switch where because I'd probably done and I've had knee surgery and I and I was so heavy for so long the flip happened where like going upstairs now is much easier than going downstairs oh wow going downstairs is actually

interesting harder for me now yeah interesting oh interesting. Oh, no, I love a nice day I'll go down all fucking day. I'll let the momentum carry me I wish I could like hook into the railings and just slide down that would be better. Yeah, slow them down We do have to do some calls but I do want to ask you just because I would like to just You know We've got I've gotten way more into movie stuff and I so I do want to ask like what are some of your favorite because you again you we talked about at the beginning The show, but you work with Scorsese you work

I mean Tony Scott on his like last film is that's a great movie, too I mean and I've become I mean I think true romance might be my favorite movie So fucking good, and it's it's I know obviously there's better Overall like you could argue. There's so fucking good. And I, it's, I know obviously there's better overall, like you could argue there's better movies overall, but like, I just, there's something about like, the time, you know, that's how, everything is so personal too, where it's like, when you see it, but there's something so cool about,

because it's a Tarantino script, and Tarantino's obviously another incredible director, but you, I think that might be the only one where you see you see I don't know how many people have made his scripts. I'm sure he's uncredited done punch up on stuff But like that's a full Tarantino script with the fucking guy that made Top Gun Yeah with like real gloss and like it's like a real Blockbuster behind an incredible script and it's just like this confluence of things

And I just I just really appreciate Tony Scott for so many so I don't know it's like no What is something Tino had shot that movie at the time? It would have been all in Chatsworth. Yeah with Actors that you just didn't know totally totally it was just so cool But that's just a way to be like what are some of the like your favorite? Just like acting experience people you've gotten to work with because you know not just your friends But like you've worked with so many incredible. You know I mean Gala for me was like another bucket list guy he won an Academy Award and Was just made these epic massive

Masterful movies and I got cold Yeah, yeah, and he did a bunches he did um Fuck the talented mr. Riff yes. Yeah, oh man. That's a fucking banger Phillips you more often than that is amazing so good so par him entering that movie where he jumps over the car and shit, that's like that's like entering that movie where he jumps over the car and shit. That's like, that's like certain things are ingrained in me as like a kid, but certain things I see and I'm like, that's how I want to be perceived. Yeah. And that, and even, and him in hard eight too is kind of like,

oh, but anyway, yeah, yeah. And Philip Seymour Hoffman in that movie, he was also in, um, cold mountain, but I remember hearing stories about Anthony Minghella finding Philip Seymour Hoffman to be too thin so he just sent him on an eating tour of Europe Wow. Like literally just picked all these restaurants and said you have to go eat here for a month. For Cold Mountain or Ripley? For Ripley. That makes sense because that character should be a little chubby. Yeah. A chubby guy guy that believes himself. That's a fun guy. Yeah on the most fun guy Yeah, and Mingela was just like an angel of a guy. So he was another bucket list kind of a guy

It is it hard for you cuz like I assume a lot of these stuff is like you kind of pop in You have to a day these guys are there constantly and it's like to you. It's your scene, but to them it might be like these guys are there constantly and it's like to you it's your scene but to them it might be like oh this scene's not too bad like is it kind of hard to maybe just kind of because you're maybe like you know you're in it for one scene with like some insane actors like well how do you approach that where you're like well do you just kind of take your cues from them or like what do you do about you know those movies like if Cold Mountain obviously there's a ton that I'm not there for but I was in Romania for seven months holy shit really

what the fuck yeah I didn't mean that I just mean like specifically because I do feel like you when you're an all when you're a good actor where they're like we just want it's not like the biggest part but we want someone who's fucking awesome yeah like I you know we talked about even Fucking Babylon yeah, which was like you're you have a great you're great in and you have like it's a great

Your look is so important. There's like a henchman or whatever, but that's a huge move. I mean that was a huge movie which We've taught you know I honestly the more I the more I see with that movie I really like it more and more for me like but the movie the movie the part about Hollywood the stuff where they're filming stuff with like there's an actor named PJ Byrne who was also in the Wolf of Wall Street and he's the assistant director and he's fucking pulling his hair out and then they moved to sound yeah yeah that was great was incredible but you're even just but I mean that's such a huge production and you come in and you're there You know you're there for the tail end of the movie and it was cool Because it's you know you're also working with another one of your friends toby maguire who had a great

He was cool in that because they made him so fucked up looking and he was just like evil and like and it's just like But that's even like this huge production where you're just popping in it's like. I don't know it's like it's an interesting thing because we don't you don't think about actors having to just sort of You just got to kind of perform. Yeah, like it's you're in this middle ground where it's like you are a respected really great actor But at the same time they're like, hey man, we just got to do your scene sometimes So I don't know is that like difficult is it like like what aspects of it? It's what do you prefer the most? Like, what do you like doing the most?

And yeah, that's tough because like you're the it's the first day of school, right? You know, I doing that, you feel like a kid or even like you feel like a kid who came to school for you, but everybody's been there for four months. Was made easier because I'm doing it with a friend and so we're kind of in it together But the first scene I shot in that I'm alone with two actors. I've never met the director 10 minutes ago I have way more time just with the wardrobe people because we did fittings for suit right right right

but I like I like TV a lot because with the wardrobe people because we did fittings for suits and shit like that. Right, right, right. I like TV a lot because there's something about you're almost a carny worker on a movie where you just show up and here's your family for the next few months and then you might never see them again or you might see them in 20 years and be like, oh, the 90s were fun. I'm glad you survived. Right, right. Glad we're both off heroin.

Yeah, exactly. But TV, you create a family. And you actually see them. And the work is more predictable and stable. It's not quite 9 to 5, but it's a hell of a lot closer than that. And if you're doing it in the town that you properly live in you become a normal person yeah cool yeah I mean we've so well you got to come back obviously there's so much more I want to ask you but we got it we got to solve you actually have I always say

this jokingly when we switched to this part of the thing but it's like you actually have a ton of experience I think it help our listeners let's go you've lived a hilarious life of ups and downs and you're it's fun to be like you were a 500 pound heroin addict. And now you're like the like a nice, calm grandfather who like lives in a nice house. Like you have your vices under control. Yeah, I do. You're a family man.

We want to advertise some blur this out eldest. Blur this out. This nicotine is fantastic. Blur this out. No free rides on Stavi's world. Yeah, let's play a couple calls here eldest. And by the way, do you have anything you want to plug? I mean American Glut in the podcast. American Glut in the podcast, which I believe you're the most returning guest Yeah, thank you for doing of course gonna be a while. I can't keep getting fatter every time I do it I can't every time I do either and when we for when I first did it I was in the middle of an actual health kick and every damn It's been like a different I'm like nah, dude. Yeah, I'm gonna get it together

It's been I let it go a little bit but we're getting back so I'm not allowing myself back on your butt it's nothing personal no no no I just need to lose like 80 pounds before I do your podcast again we'll do it beginning of 2025 yeah there we go put it on the calendar we got that anything else anything no that's it I mean uh I have a couple movies coming out. I have a TV show coming out. Cool. But I don't know when.

And you did the movie, the indie movie that I wrote, and that I was with my friends. Let's start a cult. We're still trying to figure out what the fuck's happening. I don't know how movies work. That's another frustrating thing about like, stand up, it's like I control everything. And it's kind of annoying to me to like,

I poured so much of my life into this movie and Now we're just like alright. Yeah, we're trying to get into some festivals And then we're trying to figure out distribution, and it's like that's a part I hate where I'm like give it to me. I'll fucking I'll make it on YouTube Yeah, like so but yeah, you were awesome. I really appreciate that you did. played played my brother. Yeah Kelly played our dad you're Bobby years old More hair than I Mean it did not look like you were father. It was so funny and stupid and the lady the lady we got to play Our mom was probably your age exactly younger

Yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz the thing is I told but I was like Bobby I was like hey man like cuz Bobby when I first started he was kind of my dad We looked exactly the same. We were fat as shit shaved head every I was completely hairless But he's not even 20 years older than you is he no no no no he's he's like it was like 10 Yeah, it was no it was like he could he was also degenerate as a youth So there's a realm of possibility where he has a son my age, you know But how'd he been in the pussy posse exactly? He was if he made the cut he would have done it He had his own little lower level

That's a guy who would have made jackets and said pussy posse If you go back and watch Bobby when he was like on Dane Cook's tour he's got like he's the biggest dickhead of all time he's got like bedazzled t-shirts that he's wearing he's got like bedazzled belts he's got a horrible goatee's wearing Kangols that's the kind of guy that would have relished being in something called the pussy posse young pussy getting Bobby and he did he fucked a lot but I Was like hey, man, you should play my dad if is and then it's like and then I was like Oh, I gotta ask Ethan to be in this movie

And I just gave you a couple roles you're like I think the brother makes fun is the fun is what I'm like All right, man Me you and honestly it was mostly that I didn't want to be a sex pest there was yeah Yeah, there is a sex pest I offer you I did I didn't want to be a sex best there was yeah. Yeah, there is a sex best I offer you I did I didn't give you too many great options That's true, but it's cool because the sex best went to it. We've got a rock like professional wrestler to do it He's awesome in it. So it all ended up better It's it's very funny that I think it plays as a good laugh that it's clearly you

My brother and both my parents seem to be the exact same age and I'm not that much younger. I'm like 10 years younger. The dynamics in that family are wild. Anyway, alright, well watch the movies, watch the, you know, listen to the podcast and did we say the movies or did I just cut you off to plug my own? No, we don't need okay. All right. All right Play some calls for us elders Like this

Do we have the cause we will if eldest does his job right which he never does it always takes him a second to remember This happens every episode If eldest does his job, right? He never does it always takes him a second to remember That was every episode Over a year. What's up eldest and stop? So 32 and Feeling kind of guilty about my drinking I'm married. I've got a six-year-old stepson, and we have a 15-month-old together. And almost every day when I get back from work, I get a couple of glasses of bourbon, a couple of beers through the evening.

I mean, I'm still giving the kids their baths, reading the story before bed. I make my son's lunch so that he doesn't eat whatever poison they serve here in schools in Arkansas. Oh man, I can't even imagine. Arkansas school lunch. I wake up every morning early, get the kids breakfast, take the six-year-old to school. So my drinking really hadn't affected my life or work in any negative way. I recently got promoted at work for a local company and I mean I don't really ever have hangovers but I'm

drinking a lot pretty much every day not at work not in the mornings just when I get home in the evening helps with stress with stress, and I mean, it hadn't affected my life negatively in any way that I can really think of or that my wife is niching. But I know that drinking a bottle of bourbon over two or three days isn't a good thing. But I'm having a hard time finding a reason to quit when, I mean, outside of just it being bad for my own body, it doesn't affect my life negatively.

So I don't know if I should just quit altogether. Or if it's just like, you enjoy it. It doesn't affect life. So why not? I mean, every a couple times a year, I quit for two weeks, month, but outside of that, I drink pretty much every day, but it doesn't hurt me in any way. That's noticeable. Interesting. Love any advice you have. Appreciate it. This feels a little like the lady Doth protest too much. It feels a little bit like well

like if it's really not affecting your life then who cares but if you have to if you're making a call about it I think you're just not really examining your life deep enough to see how it is affecting right right right it's a tricky thing because like the reality is like so much of adult life you can just get through like a little drunk a little high because like 80% of life is just like bullshit tasks. Yeah, you just kind of do shit mindlessly. So yeah, in that way it doesn't affect your life. But you know, yeah, the fact that he's like calling in is a sign that it is affecting him or he has like some doubts about it, but it's also like I think the effect cumulatively is like whoa, I'm like

fucked up in every spare second of my life where I don't have to like do something important right, and I think if you like look back and you're like Oh the last few years were like that and I haven't had like A moment with my own thoughts in my head right over right right in years like That is like an effect that you just like don't see on a day-to-day basis. Yeah Mel does this call touch a nerve with you in particular Yes, Lee with weed yeah, me and you two guys that have spent pretty much every moment together, haven't been fucked up. That's the thing, I've been fucked up through the last, through eight of the most productive months of my life.

I was fucked up every moment. I didn't have to be working. And it didn't, so by your metrics, it didn't affect my life. Got my Netflix special done, did that movie, I mean, we were on dude I was getting fucking it was the days were so Like annoying I was getting and I was so like Amped up and I was fucking pissed off and I didn't want to get drunk because I didn't want to deal with a hangover So I would get I was getting high every night I mean every night getting so high I would just go to sleep without thinking And just wake up in the morning and just pound coffee or take Adderall or whatever

Like yes, I got through it and those drugs didn't affect me, but I would have been healthier like this year I've decided actually to our friend. It's like I decided I turned 35. I've talked about a couple times I'm gonna be sober this whole year. I'm just gonna give it a shot. See you how I feel whatever and so You know for our friend here. I think you're right both of you are kind of on the same path where it's like What do you mean? It's not affecting you negatively like you're you're passing life with a c-plus right now, right? That's what's going on. It's like yeah, okay c-plus is fine but also The more this does like does a bottle every couple days

turn into a bottle every two days turn into a bottle a day like Have you have you rat if you ratchet up your drinking even a little bit every you know six months or whatever That is your you're on a bad curve, and it seems like you're thinking about this It seems like it's something that is at least psychologically even if you're right and everything's fine, and it seems like it is taking a Psychological toll on you which I I also relate to because I especially the last oh My god, dude the last three months of like this last year I was like miserable and I was just like I wish I wasn't fucked up right now But I have to be to get through this. I just know I have to be and so is

That starting to creep in where you're like, I don't need it But I'm not stopping either like if I don't get my bourbon though, I would be a bad day like I Think Ethan you're right where it's like examine if you if this is actually effective It's not affecting the tangible outcomes of your life right now But is it affecting like stuff that you can't measure especially with kids? Are you being present for your children like for me? That would be the biggest or present for your wife like are those Relationships that you're thoroughly invested in and could you be more available to those people if you weren't fucked up? And I'm not,

I'm sober and abstinent from drugs and alcohol. My wife is not, but she can sit down to dinner and pour herself a glass of wine and not finish it, which I can't do. You know what I mean? And I don't understand that at all. I think if the bottle gets open the bottle gets finished If anything is in the house, it just gets drunk totally So I can't do that, but like I don't think everybody has to do sure I don't think this guy necessarily has to be sober But I think if he's drinking as frequently as he is he's not really participating in his life

Yeah, he could be right. He's not really participating in his life in the way he could be. Right. He's just checking off his responsibilities. And I guess good on you for being, especially what he's describing as being a functioning alcoholic. That's just what he's saying. I mean, you are an alcoholic if you drink that much. And yes, to me, I would say look at everything you just said about putting the kids to bed, doing your work, all this stuff. And then I would add what you just said. Are you present?

Are you like, and if the answer is still yes, if the answer is like, yeah, I talked to my, we have a good relationship. I actually talked to my kids. I don't like resent them. I'm not drinking to get through the mundanity of raising children and if the answer to all those things is still yes like I'm Present I'm a good dad. I just Really do have a pop when I'm by myself at fucking 10 p.m.. And I wake up and do my job then Maybe you don't have to stop, but it feels like you already know the answer

Feels like you you are thinking of a reason to stop so So I would say, you say you quit every two weeks, or every couple times a year you quit for two weeks, try a month, see how it goes. I mean, our friend who we just had here said he started getting sober by like, he did the same thing and he was like, hmm, I dropped a bunch of weight, I feel better. Try for an extended period of time

and actually do a scientific, like, give yourself enough of a sample size. Give it two months, give it three months, and then see how you feel and if it's affected things. And if you don't like it, go back, but it seems like you might want to monitor this, because I think at the very least, this is the kind of thing that,

even if it's in check right now, it could be like the you know the embryonic stage of a really fucked up drinking problem you're also only 32 you know people get more people get more alcoholics the older they get for sure so you know think about it that way buddy and good good for you for not you know for still feeding your it's also hilarious how low the bar is for him he's like I feed my children I bathe them I go to work what do you want from come on sound like the stereotypical alcoholic dad yeah yeah yeah yeah that the life you want to give

to your kids yeah okay I mean that's so you so we're airing on the side of stop drinking but you have to you know you have to really examine your shit a Yeah, your kids. Yeah, okay So we're erring on the side of stop drinking But you have to you know you have to really examine your shit a little more as a general rule I mean, you know what he's describing. It's like this doesn't even sound like that nefarious, but whether it's like alcohol weed You know even six whatever it's like There's it's probably not good to have a drug that you use every day And that's just like a very basic like common sense like you might not have a problem

But like that's just not a good like habit and also Health will start to factor in especially if you have kids you are fucking like long term this will add up and Even if you keep it exactly here This is not good for you long term. It also seems like he's waiting for some disaster He's waiting to shit himself off heroin in a fucking double wide In my defense I didn't have children right at the time right if you if you're dealing with kids and like your bar is like I'm passing everything but like with kids there can be emergencies like you're bathing your kid while you've had a few glasses of bourbon. Does your kid have to drown before you go like oh my drinking

is a problem or is it like no? Maybe if I'm sober and doing this I'll be better at it, and I will avoid some disaster Yeah, I've always thought about that of like if I'm babysitting a kid or if like I had kids I think I would have to stop smoking weed at night because you're essentially on call Yeah, constantly and 15 month old kid Maybe a little less with a six-year-old, but still even with the six-year. And 15 month old kid, maybe a little less with a six year old, but still even with a six year old, 15 month old kid, that kid is utterly dependent on you for life. Yeah, for sure. And that's your actual kid that you actually

love, not your stepchild. No, I'm sure you love them both. All right next question elders I have a very embarrassing predicament to share with y'all that I would like some advice on I'm gonna come out and say my little brother found my butt plug in the shower. In the shower? So a little backstory. I was recently in a relationship with a girl who kind of introduced me to some butt stuff. Like she would eat my ass. And I really fucking liked that while fucking my dick.

It was great. And after we broke up I was kind of curious to kind of You know explore a little bit more Mr.. Like when I jerk off, so I got myself a butt plug alright. Yeah, shoot the homo allegations at me All you want I don't care man. It's the love All right keep going sorry Don't really have any interest in fucking a dude or anything really to do with dicks. I don't care.

Might've thought I was a little bit curious at one point, but to be honest, I don't think it gets better than pussy. You know what I mean? That shit is divine. I feel like the female form is just divine in a way that doesn't match up. Wow. Or vice versa. Pause that laugh. Dude, we don't care if you're gay, man. There's a matchup Wow Dude we don't care if you're gay man, we don't care if you're bi he's over here telling in a voice We're not even responding. He's like and by the way pussy's just God designed it for us

He didn't design asshole. So I just want my ass fingered not fucked. I'm not gay Anyway, my brother found my butt plug, but a finger is not quite good So I just want my ass fingered not fucked. I'm not gay anyway My brother found my butt plug, but a finger is not quite good Gotta get plugged up. All right. Let's keep going. This guy's so awesome This morning after he had left for school. I'm still at home to the time being I'm 26 for context. He is standing. He's a high school boy You could just maybe you know

Extrapoli as to all the things that might have been going through his mind and potentially haven't found that now It was a kind of out in the open. It's not like a total shoe-in that he saw it was kind of like on a shelf window shelf to win the body kind of like on a shelf window show uh... the father of our and i have to do that we grow in the morning the base of the same you know what was the how do i explain to him

uh... that i'm not that i'm not gay all that's your issue you know try that stuff out i'm trying to experiment with with toys i guess uh... when it comes to it comes to jerking off You know Yeah, what do I what do I say to him to be honest?

I don't even get that much sexual pleasure out of it. It just feels like a kaggle. Oh my Like even harder and stronger more robust after the fact but it's training the prostate Yeah, not too much sexual pleasure drive not too much How do I explain that? No way that isn't for guys over confident. I even definitely I feel like if I were a 17 year old I would definitely kind of still look at you sideways. You told me that you know, like But uh, you know, I kind of want to you know I care about my little brother I don't want him to think that you know I would

be scared to come out to him or anything like that oh I'm overcompensating or even just gonna have the narrative right about it so how do I Wow in fairness I don't think I knew what the fuck a butt plug was at 17 Well, but these children nowadays come on. They're unfortunately right. Sorry, man I know you have young daughters, but they're the these children. I know are you telling our animals? I know I I hate to tell you they do It's out there these kids are they're looking at fucked up stuff from a young age. I mean this is an insane call.

This guy, it's like, I almost feel bad laughing at him how like insecure he is. It's like the question being how do I tell my brother I'm not gay, not how do I explain my butt plug? How do I tell him, like what do gay? Not how do I explain my butt plug? How do I tell him, what do I do about my family seeing my sex toy? Now I live at home, he said he lives at home. Blame it on your mom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. Say your mom's beating off. Also, he hasn't seen it, right? Or he has no, they didn't talk about it. The brother didn't walk in going, what is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also why are you leaving your fucking butt plug in the shower, bro? Fucking good Christ like you're clearly ashamed. I don't I mean I don't even derive that much sexual pleasure from it

It's like dude come on. What are we doing here? It just makes my cock harder It's just when I get pussy. It'll just make my dick strong. It's training the prostate. It's actually Punishment I'm taking to pound hole better. I'm straight anyway His three the three incredibly nervous laughs with no one talking to him. No one is talking to him I'm not we're not looking at it. We're not responding. He just can't even get through his own feelings It's like and he's and even who's like and I might have been a little bit curious before but not anymore Not not anymore

Putting shit up my We don't care if you're gay Your brother probably won't care if you're gay either bi or whatever but like look in terms of let's take this But plug first and then let's extrapolate a little bit just talk to you about your feelings But plug wise honestly my real answer here if he didn't talk about it He didn't say I would say nothing you say nothing We've all come on how many times with people as your brother or your like parents like those moments where they? They call you beating off,

but they never really go into the door. They like shut the door really fast. No one ever speaks of it. You both on some level know what happened, but he's a teenage boy. If anything, who knows, dude, he might be doing some fucking weird shit too. He might have a butt plug too.

He might have a butt plug too. And even if he doesn't, like, so that's the answer to that. Just ignore this, don't bring it up, whatever. Also. And now about your gayness. Right, right, right, right, right. It's okay.

It's totally cool, brother. Even if you're not, but you just, you won't be honest with yourself. That's what this call is. You need to spend some time thinking about what you actually want. It's okay. Whatever you're into is okay.

It might be weird. I'm not even saying you have to tell people how you feel. You can stay closeted for a while. You just can't lie to yourself. And that's what you're doing right now is like you might. And by the way, you might not even be. But if you were firmly, truly not kind of nervous about your own sexuality This question wouldn't be how do I make sure my brother doesn't think I'm gay this question

Like how do I tell my brother I'm into some freaky shit because yeah Like I literally do know straight guys that like a thumb in the butt that like the whatever like they get pegged whatever and it's like We have a hard time thinking of that as straight because of like, you know, just heteronorm of society Whatever but look if you only fuck girls and they even if girls peg you that is technically straight man Like whatever maybe you're a pinch gayer than a man who only wants maybe on the Kinsey scale You're a little gayer than a guy who only fucks pussy But like you could just be a guy who's into freaky shit But you're clearly nervous that you might be kind of gay

And so I think the overarching thing here is that you need to be at peace with yourself First and foremost you need to really think about what it is you like and again I'm not even saying you have to tell people if you if you come to the conclusion you're bi but want to stay firmly closeted That's up to you Never tell anyone suck a little dick on the sneak whatever you want to do. That's fine But you're lying to yourself right now, dude this nervous laughter this like I've been discovered which by the way Exactly blame it on your mom say oh, yeah, dude my girlfriend left this here. Which is true, that's how it started.

What if he found a sex toy that you had when you were using it with your girlfriend. And it's in the shower because you were washing it. Because you were washing it, because you discovered it and you were like, oh I gotta wash this shit. But you're just so clearly hung up on whether you're bi or not, or whether you're gay or not. And it's like, either one is okay.

I know it's hard, I know, and I know coming out and sexualizing is a very personal thing, so I don't wanna like be like flippant about your, whatever you're going through, but you're clearly lying to yourself on some level. And just, I would just focus on that. Think about what it is you really want. Think about what you're really into.

And it's okay if you derive sexual pleasure from putting things in your ass, bro. That's okay, I got news for're really into and it's okay if you derive sexual pleasure from putting things in your ass, bro That's okay. I got news for you buddy. It's okay It's like goodwill hunting but it's like you can put things in your ass You can put things in your ass you can put things in your ass instead of it's not your fault And then this guy starts crying he's like I'm technically straight still like yes So anyway, dude, I mean this is That call was so awesome the mental gymnastics, I mean to just to like I

Know that not deriving pleasure thing. I mean come on. You clearly like throw and it by the way, it probably feels awesome I remember after watching road Trip, another movie, you had a small roll in, I put a candle up my ass because Stifler got that nurse to like, and you know what, didn't really do anything for me, but I was like, I tried it, no shame in that, you know what I mean? I tried it a couple times, I was like if it weren't for Stiffler They really made it seem like that nurse you pressed a button and you nutted in the best way of all time I rooted around for that button a couple times as a youth never found it But if I had I'd be putting things in my ass right now, buddy Sounds like you found Stiffler's button from road trip, and there's nothing wrong with that

But you got to be honest with yourself about it. Damn, hilarious kid. Alright, what else we got, Eldis? Sup, Stavi, sup, Eldis. So I'm 27, got a pretty good job, don't have to worry about money too much, but I am in a lot of debt, so I'm trying to work on that. The other day, my old landlord from like a couple years ago just randomly zelled me a thousand dollars. No context, nothing. And I was just like hell yeah I'm gonna take that. And then you know a week goes by or so and

then he texted me like hey Tyler, Tyler, we send you, I sent you a thousand dollars. I'll post it for my employee names, Tyler. Can you please confirm that you received that and send it back? And the thing is, I don't want to send it back. I want to keep it. I mean, he was a nice enough guy,

but he was still my landlord. And I still did give him a lot of money just for the pleasure of living there. And he had it paid off. It was a house that he inherited from Father he was not worried about me. I keep it we think Hey man, I got a bunch of money that I don't didn't belong to me accidentally and because land Ownership being a landlord is overall unethical. I deserve that

I think I deserve this thousand dollars and look I'm with you your landlord sounds like a parasite He didn't do shit to earn the house and he was taking your money I get that but this isn't your money and you know that you can't just steal a thousand dollars from a guy As much as I'd love to tell you you could You can't you just can't keep this my it's insane to think you can keep this money Oh, yeah, I think you got to give the money back my wife we just went experienced something like this in the reverse where we got our

teenage kids a car and my wife sent set up an ACH payment and Was still getting billed so she was double paying the car every month and at the end there was like some Buyout and we were like wait. Why is there a buyout for the car and they were like well You double paid us the whole time and we got the money back But I think there there's a situation where they're like no you double paid us We're not giving it back and I just think for karma if karma exists Yeah, give the money back. Yeah, I mean dude Yeah, what do you think's gonna happen here? They the guys like, ah, well, you don't want to

Shucks, you know what I mean? Like I know it's like best case scenario It's just not worth his time to like get a lawyer It's only in the grand scheme things a thousand dollars if you start adding lawyers fees you whatever best case scenario, it's just not worth his time to get a lawyer. In the grand scheme of things, $1,000 if you start adding lawyers fees and whatever, it might not be worth it, but you are stealing from him. There's no way around it. It's a clerical error, and I'd love to say

that you could keep the $1,000, but unfortunately, unless, here's the thing, if this is the kind of landlord who kept your security deposit and was being a dick about technicalities, because I think legally, the Zelle, there's no refund. Technically, it's like Cash App, it's like, he just sent you the money, and whether, it even gives you a warning,

you cannot get this money back, this money's gone. So if this was the kind of landlord that took money from you and was a dickhead and like owes you your security deposit and was a cunt about technicalities, and maybe that would be his karma, but if you're just saying your biggest beef with him is that he grew up rich and that he didn't have to work for the thing and that yes He was taking advantage of his lot in life and sort of like charging too much for a house You have to pay off again philosophically. I agree with you, but you you just it is unethical for you It is actually literally more unethical for you to just purely steal his money than for him to just be a landlord. Right, but he says he was a nice enough guy. Yeah, he was a nice guy. I mean, this is, you can't, you can't keep the money. We already

spent too much time talking about this. It's such a clear answer. Hey, Stavi. So, I have a great relationship with my boyfriend. Obviously he's funny as hell because he introduced me to your shit. Nice. You know, we started off as like friends with benefits, but we've been together about a year now and we just kinda accidentally fell in love.

Wow, that never happened to me. We have an awesome relationship. We communicate really well. We get along. We have an awesome relationship, we communicate really well, we get along, we have hot threesomes, we're both attractive. I mean never really fight ever, we both have like mental health issues that kind of put a strain on it sometimes but like I'm super happy with him he's super happy with me he is potentially relocating soon to for work he's applying for a job where he'll get paid hella money and you know make a lot of progress in this career and he asked

me to come with him if that happens I just I don't know what to do I mean I don't mind relocating I don't like the area we live in I think it'd be exciting it's just hard the way the present comes because it's like I ruined my credit score this last year because of like medical bills because of an emergency I had and you know I've like loose ends to tie up here. I don't have a ton of savings. There's like an age gap and he's more financially set and stable than I am. And I'm insecure about that, but like, I really want to go with him.

And I think it'd be like, I could go back to school, uh, go to a great school. There's work opportunities where he wants to move. The area would be cool. I just don't know what to do, man. I love this guy so much and he gives me butterflies and usually I'm super practical and logical and like I wanna be like no, I'm not financially stable enough

but he offered to like you know Help support me which I kind of hate cuz I'm like an independent woman But whatever man, I don't know what do you think man? I mean this to me seems like a like You're in kind of a great situ. I don't know. I don't really see that many cons I haven't I didn't hear one con other than her own like insecure, mental insecurities. Like even the financial instability, it's like well you're in that situation where you are now and maybe the house there

or where they're moving to is slightly more expensive but you're gonna have to like tackle those issues wherever you live. Totally and I think like it seems, she says they communicate really well He asked you to come along with him Like it's not the kind of thing that he's being coy about and he doesn't know like I can tell you if I'm in a situation where I'm trying to

To like if I'm about to move away and I'm looking at it as a fresh start I'm not like if I ask you to come with me. I means I'm committed, you know, and if anything I would say that That would be the one thing because if in a world where you you love this guy You feel like he's truly committed to you in the fan the way that he already said he would help her relocate all this stuff It seems like he's pretty committed you might maybe if you guys communicate really well you could say those insecurities like because basically what you're saying is if I could read between the lines a

little bit is like if this doesn't work out then I have moved I'm in a I'm in the same financial state that I'm in and I'm just in a place where I don't know anyone I'm just like and it's harder to live and it's harder more expensive But at the same time so like I get that and so you just want to know that you know You guys aren't gonna like break up when you get there, but also it's like she says she doesn't like where she lives It's like it doesn't and if let's just say he helps you relocate if he if he's really committed to you and he's like Hey, I want you here. I want us to give us a real shot It's not like he's gonna charge you like alright

Well now that we broke up you owe me half the u-haul It's like interest you know what I mean like so if you guys break up in like six months Are you really worse off than you were if you were to break up? Yeah, where you live now? I think you just have a couple hang-ups and I it seems to me this feels honestly like I don't really see a negative In fact, it's like maybe she has kind of the similar issues Like I have these two where it's hard for me to accept that a relationship is actually good it's hard for me to think of a relationship as Positive or like as part of my life. Sometimes I think about it's my buddy George coming in here sometimes I think about it is

like my life like I have a hard time psychologically accepting that a relationship can help you right and that's the thing our caller here might have that same thing because somebody else would be like this man's a guy he saved my life yeah you know what I mean? Like this guy helped me move, I love him so much. We're in a city I don't, we left a city I don't like, he's helping me, like he's supporting me relocate. Like I'm so, I'm the luckiest girl in the world to find somebody who can help me figure my life out.

And like, if you really think he's committed to you, which I don't see any reason he wouldn't be, this feels like something you should try. And be realistic, like if things end, whatever, are you that much worse off? Is it at least worth the risk of ultimate happiness with someone that you really like? And that's the thing, the pros and cons here are pro,

you leave a city you don't like that much, someone helps you relocate. Even if you were a city you don't like that much, someone helps you relocate, even if you were looking at it as a succubus horrible woman that's like I could fucking take advantage of this guy to move me to a different place, right? Like if you're looking at it from a purely financial thing, it's like this isn't a bad setup but as a nice caring human being, the pros are, I'm taking a chance at love with somebody, a relationship that I really love. She actually cares about him, and it appears that he actually cares about her.

Exactly, and that's a little bit, I'd love to get a little more, we're just taking her word for it, but the fact that he asked her to come with him is kind of proof enough, at least for us to go off of. And all you're risking is you relocated but it's not like she's, this isn't even the traditional situation where she's like my support system's here, I love it here but I'm risking it for this guy. You're in a city you don't like that much. You know and it's like I know you have medical bills, whatever and you say you have loose

ends, but are those loose ends worth? Not taking a risk on maybe the person you end up with for the rest of your life to me It's a no-brainer that the rest is worth the reward maybe because he introduced her to your show She got kind of a weak Invitation and she's hoping he hears invitation and she's hoping he hears this. Right, right, right. And he goes like, no, no, I love you. I desperately want you to come.

You're right. I'm a pawn in your game, aren't I? You fucking bitch. Yeah, yeah. I hope you're both listening to this and it's like, buddy, if you really want, you know what, to you, not to the guy. Listen, she's fucking, she's hearing wedding bells if you want out now is the time So either fucking double down and tell this bitch to hit the bricks brother So anyway

We think it's good Don't listen to that last part, but truly it seems like it's worth the risk from work from where we're standing for sure. Yeah But I get I get the insecurity I fucked up up I still regret a couple relationships where I'm like why did I not try at this yeah she was great and you know but and also relationships are balanced you know my wife is also an independent woman and you know I've been had very successful television shows. When I'm making a killing on a television show, I'm not the lord of the manor.

And then when I'm out of work, and she has a job, I'm not scum. He's like polishing the silver. There's a fucking balance there. That's the nice thing about a relationship is like, it kind of should ground you you and you guys have your dynamic And that everything else kind of comes and goes and it's like that's the thing that is steady in your life That's what it should be

But good luck. It's honestly I'm feeling good about it. I'm hoping we're getting a Stavis world wedding. That's what I want Start I can't wait till those start happening. Yes a lot of butt plugs a lot of plugs a lot of butt play straight Butt play at a stoppy's world wedding Keep him rolling bigeldo. What do you think a few more? I think so. I'm having a good time Yeah, if we didn't have to go I have'd have to go pick up furniture. This could be an extra long one. Hey, Stav, Eldis. Thanks for the podcast.

So my question today is, my wife and I have been together for a while. She had another kid beforehand before we were together. We had another kid about two years ago and we have another one coming up in May. When we had our first kid together, the problem was that she knew that it was going to be a C-section so Watched well What happened was is I Was supposed to go and watch the c-section, but when push came to shove I? Dropped the ball on it and so he dropped it happened and my wife that really

Thought about me about it and I guess we had a long conversation about it and what it came down to is like I Got scared because of it And I just didn't watch it and it really spooked me out And I guess I didn't do much of the prep work for it than to like watching a YouTube video of it. And then it came on to this next kid that's going to happen in May and I don't know what it is but I cannot just pull myself together and then think about watching the c-section Like when I think about it it just kind of spooks me out and it makes me uncomfortable and

Just beyond that is why I think But at the same time of that I want to go Watching that happen or having someone cut a baby out of your stomach What happened or having someone cut a baby out of your stomach? Well, here's what I want to say. My wife has had a C-section and a V-back, which is a vaginal birth after C-section, which doctors don't really like to do. First of all, C-sections are much easier for doctors because they're scheduled. They know exactly when it's happened.

There's no waiting around. And so when you have a natural birth in a hospital,'re in labor you go in your doctor's now there and waiting for you to give birth it could be whenever ten hours and the doctors got a hang there so they like to schedule c-sections when as the father in a c-section they put a fucking curtain up you're not sitting there hovering over a surgery you have no idea what's going on beyond that curtain there's a curtain and you're there with your wife's head and part of her torso and her arms and something's happening on the other side of the curtain and you're not watching it right you're not like if you watch a c-section on YouTube I'm sure it's from

the angle of the surgery. You don't experience that at all as a father in a C-section. So. That's good context. Yeah, when he's saying he dropped the ball, I hope he was in the hospital. I know, what does he mean? Like, yeah, I was getting the Kit Kat

at the vending machine. The hospital's one of those, the pretty good, cafeteria actually. I know a lot of people, it's kinda, people say people say the foods bad but this place had like made to order cheese steaks and i was kinda i was waiting for my onions to get caramelized so i didn't really make it to what's supposed to be the most magical moment in my life

uh... let's let's see let's finish let's uh... finish him just so we get his whole case here doctor uh... and trying to do it this time Let's finish him just so we get his whole case here Up to her And try and do it this time But man, it's just the fact of Watching someone being cut up even in surgery. I know it's all safe and everything like that But I just feel like I'm being a little pussy So if you can give me some advice or if you have a guest on there as kids, yeah, that would be great

Give me some advice or if you have a guest on there as kids. Yep, that would be great Just watching someone that get a surgery done Just seems very very uncomfortable to me. So if you got any advice on it, that would be great. Thanks I'm not up dude. Let me just say this Regular birth is no fucking party They give birth the baby comes out then there's the fucking afterbirth. It looks like your wife's guts are pouring out of her vagina. It's not a picnic, you know?

Like a lot's happening. The baby comes out, it's covered in fucking shit and white goo. But you gotta go do that. And for the C-section, there's a fucking curtain. It's practically like they're doing the surgery in another room So like I don't know what doctor told you you'd be participating in this. I know this is kind of yeah What do you think you're holding the fucking scalpel? I mean this that's hand you the baby

They bring the baby around to the other side and they've dusted it off a little bit Covered in blood and guts. Yeah. And they hand you the baby. Like you don't wanna be there for that? I know, I mean it's like, and again, obviously I haven't had kids or whatever, but from a just human perspective of, I'm not even saying that, what you're saying,

it's not that what he's saying is not valid, right? It's like, I get that it might be slightly uncomfortable. But again, you had this baby with your wife. This is your child. And then when you start thinking of like this is gonna suck But what she has to go through is so much worse And if this is your partner and this is someone who you want to comfort and be there for it's like yeah, dude That's part of life is doing shit. That's kind of uncomfortable and so To me the thought is like yes that I'm not even saying you're wrong or whatever

But you're to feel a little squeamish whatever But you have to think about it in the totality of what you and your wife together are going through Yeah, it's a fraction of what she's going through and for you like for you to put like your squeamishness over the fact that supporting your wife and not watching a surgery, being the person having the surgery done to her, if that's how you feel, imagine how she feels and you just have to think of it that way. Where it's like, I need to do my part in my marriage. Like I need to do my part for my wife, be there for her.

And again, you should, yeah, you should want to be there for it right her hand and older man take care of her You're not you're not watching the surgery. You're really not and if anything this might be like a Psychological hang up for you, so it's like I don't know man the way like when somebody like when Athletes just have like that have a mental block and they just can't throw it a first base for whatever reason, like, you know how they talk to a sports psychologist,

you might need to just go talk to someone because you might have like a very specific mental block and now, and that's only exacerbated by the fact that you didn't do the first one, now there's all this pressure on it, but like, you gotta be there, you gotta do whatever it takes to be there. And yeah, just nut up, man.

And this is also a good example. This is also a larger lesson for people, which is like a lot of life is really boils down to a couple important moments. And I hate to say it, I don't wanna make you feel worse. You really blew it on an important moment. You dropped the ball in the most major way possible. I know how you said drop the ball.

It's like you didn't miss a meeting at a sales conference. You betrayed your wife's trust and showed yourself to be a coward for your child's first moments of life. Like you said, a really weird bad precedent from the moment this kid was existing. But you get a do-over. And you get a do-over and obviously you get a do-over in like the rest of this kid's life. We're just busting your balls a little bit. This is your chance at redemption and for everybody else it's like yeah, the uncomfortable

moment you would have, how much better you think this guy would have felt if he had just been there? Yeah. This like, and it's like, whether it's an uncomfortable conversation where it's like whether it's standing up for yourself Whether it's showing some bravery or whatever These some sometimes the things you want to do the least if you just do them It's the best thing you've ever done in your life. I totally agree and I also think like don't make it about yourself I think it's easy if we're in our heads thinking about what we're gonna

yourself I think it's easy if we're in our heads thinking about what we're gonna experience that we can like not participate but think about what your wife is gonna experience yeah and and how you can be of service to her and take it all off your shoulders of what you're gonna experience that's a great point all you're there for is to be her support system it you don't fucking matter all right I'll just let's take. Alright, take us home, brother. Take us home with a nice one. Fucking dumbass. God, you're dumb. Okay, I'm going to try not to look at the cliff notes.

This is amazing because we're looking at like a Google translation and it's all like, hey, Storb and Eldest. Yeah, Tom Rose, Eldest. Steve and... It's never correct. Hey, stop, hey, stop, hey, stubby, hey, Bobby, hey Bobby, hey man, hey stop, Bobby baby. There's one, one way down there where it actually translated into Stubby baby. No, it's Savvy baby, Savvy baby.

Savvy baby, Savvy baby. Hey stop you baby. Hey stop you baby. Alright, Eldis. We're done vamping because you can't tell this very esteemed and Yes, I Guess I don't have a question. I really just wanted to thank you. You had a caller a Few months ago, and I can't remember who was the guest on the episode Who's the man who was in a relationship where?

he never got his dick sucked by his wife and you made some comments like you know 20-30 seconds is good enough and I was listening to that episode in the car with my wife and she heard that and she had I guess an epiphany. Like she didn't realize like you could suck a man's dick for just 20 seconds and it'd be okay. Like he doesn't have to finish. This little background of the married 15 years I'm an old man. And her hearing that I guess just you know and she

asked me like you know this does it actually count if it's only like 20 30 seconds? Yeah, because I had the same type of wife who was like, I never she never wanted to suck my dick. And I've been married so long, I just made peace with it so long ago. But both of us hearing that episode, it's like man, like after that, it's like man like after that it's like every time brother like hell yes dude not a time goes by like when we have sex that she doesn't suck my dick now or just even like half a minute great it's awesome you know even if you don't play this I hope podcast, I hope Elda still plays this for you because it's awesome and I want to thank you brother.

Thank you. I mean this. You are changing lives. This is what makes the podcast worth it. I'm not even joking. You turned this guy's life around. This makes me feel so good. And yes, man, a little, suck a little dick.

Yeah, I can count. I have almost never, I mean, I have, but like in the grand scheme of things, the busting from head compared to just busting from sex, it's like it's all part of the, it's all part of the experience. It's all just like part of the fun of it. It's essentially foreplay.

To know that some fucking old guy just out of the blue of it. It's essentially foreplay and to know that some fucking old guy just out of the blue started getting his dates. You've utterly rearranged his sex life. You've just enhanced his sex life. He made peace with it years ago. It was done. It was dead. Dead and gone. It was a headless marriage. He was getting, he was going to live the rest of his life headless. He was fucking, he was a sleepy hollow.

After this episode though, maybe he tries butt plugs and you really extend his horizons. Fuck it. Put a finger up the poop chute, pal. That's awesome. And that's crazy that his wife didn't even consider that. That like whatever fucked up relationship she had to blow jobs was like, you have to suck to completion. If she was doing it selfishly too, she was like, no, I want to get fucked. Yeah. If I suck your dick, I'm not getting fucked. Yeah, right, right, right, right.

You just have to tell her you've got to communicate. This is beautiful, man. I really I this actually makes me feel so good for real. So salute to you, my friends, salute to everyone getting their dick sucked out there. Yep. Ethan, thank you so much, bro. Thank you for having me. So happy to you my friend, salute to everyone getting their dicks sucked out there. Yup. Ethan, thank you so much bro. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to have you.

We definitely got everybody. There's so much more shit we could talk about for sure, but I'm glad we could have it now that you're, you know, that you were in the city. And right before, you caught us right before our longest sabbatical yet off the show. So I'm, I'm absconding off the Baltimore folks, but I chose so Jordan Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm spending my winter in Baltimore. I'm spending the early spring in Baltimore But obviously we have episodes where you won't even notice we'll be back we we got him going and yeah listen to American Glutton watch Ethan on whatever he's on and leave

us a nice review. If you don't subscribe on the YouTube, subscribe on the YouTube. If you don't subscribe on audio, go subscribe on audio. It helps us out and we will see you guys next time. Bye bye.