Stavvy's World - #79 - Devon Walker and Michael Longfellow

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

Devon Walker and Michael Longfellow join the pod to discuss being bullied for being on SNL, having a divorce lawyer dad, finding out your parents were splitting up at a high school football game, getting bullied by your stepsiblings, and much more. Devon, Michael and Stav help callers including a guy who found out his dad is cheating on his mom, and a woman who's never in the mood for doing the deed at the same time as her partner. Murder your thirst with Liquid Death! Go to https://liquiddeath.com/stavvy to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. Visit https://thefreezepipe.com/ and use promo code STAVVY for 10% off you entire order. Say goodbye to harsh smoke forever. See Devon Walker live on his summer tour!! Buy tickets: https://devonwalker.komi.io/ See Michael Longfellow live! Buy tickets: https://www.michaellongfellow.com/shows Follow Devon Walker on social media: https://www.instagram.com/internetdevon/ https://twitter.com/internetdevon Follow Michael Longfellow on social media: https://www.instagram.com/longfellow_michael https://www.tiktok.com/@michael_longfellow http://www.twitter.com/Longfellowww Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Welcome everybody to Stop and Roll. We have an incredible show for you today. Devon Walker, Michael Goodfellow, they're here. Pals of mine, SNL cast members, but just a couple sweet long boys. But before that we want to let you know a couple things are going on. Tyres on Netflix. We've pre-recorded so many episodes of this podcast. We forgot to mention that I'm on a huge comedy sitcom. That weird that I was on the number one number one for four days in the top 10 for a week. Hilarious. Shane Gillis, John McKeever, Gerbs, of course, Steve Gerben. I'm playing I'm playing the district manager of tires.

I'm on there, it was an incredibly fun show, really fun to finally get to work with those guys, so go watch that if you haven't. And we also want to say hey, thanks to our sponsor Liquid Death, you know I love getting my freaking thoist moided. Go to liquiddeath.com slash stavi to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. That's liquiddeath.com slash stavi, liquiddeath.com slash stavi. And it ain't just Liquid Death we're shouting out.

No, our good pals at FreezePipe. That's right, American owned. Okay? If you want proprietary bongs, bubblers, you know, they got little things to put over your vape, whatever you want, with technology to cool it down, baby. Okay? Go to Freeze Pipe. American-owned and over 100,000 happy customers, visit thefreezepipe.com and use code STAVI for 10% off your entire order. Pipes, bubblers, bongs and more, no matter what you're into, there's a chilly solution at TheFreezepipe.com

and use code STAVI, S-T-A-V-V-Y for 10% off now let's get this show going, Eld Oppa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World 904-800-STAVI, call in, we'll solve your problems we got a couple nice tall drinks of water on the couch today Okay, you know what I'm saying? We have Devin returning Devin Walker, of course and Michael Longfellow. What's up? What's up? Big Mike? Thanks for coming Yeah, dude, we told Devin was like I will not come on with another homosexual and after his appearance with Alex. No, we're past that. He was like, I'm done. We're past that.

Straight boys only on the podcast. It's about time we took it back. Really straight boys only. Straight boys only, that's right. That's right. Super straight. No more black people either. Only white, straight white men.

That's weird. That's what we promote money. You're the only one. You're the only one allowed. Exactly. It's like no homers. It's like there can be one. I heard you had Alex back on the podcast too.

Couldn't be me. I tried to. I tried to. I tried to. I tried to. I tried. There can be one. I heard you had Alex back on the podcast too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Couldn't be me. I tried to I tried to cure him but it didn't take. Yeah. It was just 90 minutes of straight conversion therapy. Alex would love it. If Alex could be converted, he would. I've never known a gay man like that's how I really know it. It's like not a choice because if he could choose Yeah, he'd be the straightest man in America. That is true. Do homosexuals not perform well on the spot?

No, they do great they're fun they're sassy you've met a couple right they're a good time They are the funnest guys of all time. It's not even close. Yeah, and the funny thing is Alex is because you're plugging into it. You're on tour What do we got going on? Let's plug that up. I'm going on tour. Hey everybody. I'm going on tour first couple dates are sold out San Francisco, we still got tickets Chicago Portland Seattle come see me I love it James Austin Johnson Andrews mucs you got three of us for for the price of one Michael they said fuck you. They're one The rest of the cash can go Those guys couldn't come

Sold out I didn't need two other Come on Dallas is coming up. Yeah. Dallas sold out already? Probably not Dallas. Sounds like you could have used another cast member. Tell your dad I'm funny in Dallas. That's awesome. Yeah go hit that shit. It must be nice to get to go on the road a little bit because it's like for you guys Have big one SNL actually like it's so funny growing up I'm like dude I want to be on SNL and then you your friends get on that show and you're like that sounds like work Sounds like bullshit. You got a fucking work hard as shit and then like everyone fucking critiques it

No, you know what? I mean? It's like I'm not Eddie Murphy. I'm so When you were nine, yeah Yeah, and straight up just be like, why you suck on SNL so bad? I'm like, what? People are taking time out of their day to be like, I hate you.

And I'm like, I don't- They should bring Will Ferrell back. Bro, truly. I'm like, I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry. I'm doing my best. People, you said you missed a cue one time when somebody like DM'd you about it, right?

Oh, I didn't miss a cue, but I looked at the camera. That was like the second episode, yeah. I looked at the camera to see if I was in my right case, and you can see me just... And someone was like, that's unprofessional. Someone was like, another stupendous acting showcase from Bob Pellow. Well that's... Second episode. Yeah.

It is tough because you kind of just have to not get criticism you have first of all It's hard as shit to write that many sketches in a week if that's crazy Yeah, and then it's like everyone's ready to hate and the people that are super fans are some of the like It's people who like the office is a little too controversial for them You know what I mean like the absolute super fans are like are like down the middle like we love you know fuck. They're like no don't do any Conceptual sketches talk about Mitch McConnell more you know what I mean like so that's got to be difficult because it's like I don't know. I would just assume. I'm just I'm I love that the world has come to a place where somehow Putting microphones in your spare bedroom is an easier job.

This is a fucking funner comedy job than the most prestigious comedy property in the history of US television. I'm like, I straight up would rather podcast than have to like wake up and do sketches. And it's good for you guys. I love my job. Yeah, sorry. By the way, these are my boys. Yeah, sorry.

You are funny. By the way, I'm not. These are my boys. I'm not. They are very funny, but I would not want to do that job. I'm too lazy to fucking actually work. You definitely have an easier job. Oh, it's not even close. I've never worked. I've never worked that hard in comedy before.

Or even in anything else, right? We all get into this to not, because we don't want a job. We should not get a real job. Yeah. So much of it is just like the one real job and we work you anybody doing cocaine anymore is that over a handful like not we need to bring the coke you gotta bring coke back we need to put the coca-cola ago acrobat style he's got a little bit and and visit i'd like i feel like there was an error where was like uh...

everyone was like it's really serious like the like i guess like yeah we're they were just like for the ones like taking it like super seriously and like everyone was like trying to like, you know We're taking it started everyone's doing drugs and who get in who fucking care We don't even know what's going on Then it was like the biggest fucking show in the universe

And now I feel like you guys have an opportunity to get back to drugs do some fucking drugs Let's bring it back to the room. Let's get it back to work. Let's do it back Sarah could be doing fucking acid or whatever the fuck weird shit. She could be doing I want for him to party. I would like to see yeah, she absolutely will not she's a fucking dork Yeah, Sarah's a fucking dork. There's like a she treats the judge. She's like a straight-a student. Yeah, we're a fucking loser Thank you for giving me this Intel to shit on her when I see her next Loser thank you for giving me this Intel to shit on her when I see her next Like if everybody else like on Tuesday on writing night people are usually getting in there like 233

Yes, worm is there at like 11 o'clock in the morning Anybody else is like in the door She's like, oh, I'm I'm me the man can't tell me what to do anything because I wear fucking rainbow suspenders And how about that? We know what you're really up to yeah, you're doing all your work like a fucking loser What happened to making nut sacks explode on YouTube Sarah now you're tap dancing That's fucking awesome dude. Were you guys ever big, you guys, I mean, were you ever big coke guys just in general in your lives? Cocaine? Yeah, Michael, you seem, you got the look for it maybe.

Yeah, you know me. You know, that nose seems like it'd be nice snorting. It's a nice nose. I don't do cocaine. I mean Vegas is Vegas, but I don't do cocaine. Were you ever a drug guy? Were you ever a big addict of anything? Uh, pot.

Pot. Classic. Little weed action. I'm with you too. I'm on a sober year and the most, the thing that's been the most difficult for me has been weed. It's not even close. Booze is no issue, like whatever. Like, I wasn't a huge drinker anyway, it's more socially, like I miss that one drink

in my hand and then like every like, I was more socially like I miss that one drink in my hand And then like every like I was kind of every five months I get fucking Really hammered, but then you know just if there's some big party or a wedding or some shit I miss that socially but yeah weed dude and pills are fucking sick, too I like but weed is really the one I'm missing what kind of what kind of pills were you fucking little Xanny's little pain scared of I'm scared of the Xans. You're so good. I've done them a couple times. One time in college

a guy handed me a Xan and I thought it was going to be like a Molly. I thought it was going to be an upper. And I did that and took two beers and got lost and forgot where I was. Truly. And woke up truly without a single memory. That sucks. That's how you end up in a documentary. Like that's awesome woke up truly like without a single memory and I was like that's that's

That's how you end up in like a documentary You're like I didn't know I drank two beers and took his any like nah, there's a good little Xanny period It feels good it just yeah takes away all the Stuff I'm with you, bro. You know what I mean? No, don't fuck this guy. Don't let him stop you. It's so good, you can't do it.

Yeah, exactly. That's what it is about pills. And not just those pain pills, which are heroin. Yeah, exactly. Like, they're just little heroin. It's like, yeah, of course that's awesome. Yeah. But yeah, that's why I can't be doing those.

No, I can't be doing it. Can't be doing those, unfortunately. They are awesome awesome. A lot of Adderall these days. Yeah Replace cocaine. Yeah nerd coke Yeah, I can't do Adderall anymore either that actually I kind of miss Adderall too for that. I love Addy Yeah, that's what we're doing here. We're doing a huge podcast. That's what I was worried about. Go back to, you thought it was going to be in Mali. Were you a Mali guy? Were you taking Mali's and rubbing, you know, rubbing my hair?

Yeah, yeah. I'm really like doing this a lot. I've never done Mali. In your life? In my life, yeah, yeah. I don't know what to tell you. That's great. You have to. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know why. How much longer do you have for your sober year? I got a while. What is it fucking? Well, it's June or whatever fucking it is and you've decided you're sober on everything. So by any free year. I turned 35

I'm fat as shit. I was close like last year. I had those moments. I was like I'm too fucked up. Like I was like, you know here I mean, I don't know if you guys have probably not where you're like, I'm too fucked up. Like I was like, you know, I mean, I don't know if you guys have, probably not, where you're like, I'm probably not gonna die in my sleep. But I was like, I'm in the zone for it. You know what I mean? Where I'm like, where it's like, I got every pill in my, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, as a thing, it's like, I want, the joke I was doing for a while, but I had to stop, because it was too similar, like a Louis bit, where I didn't realize that I wasn't stealing, it's just how I felt it's like I wanted if I died for people to ask what happened Like if I died last year, no one would have been like did he get run over by a bus? Fuck I don't want people to be like fuck, you know, like oh I should have said something Yeah, so so yeah, I had to I had to chill on that

But yes, that's what I'm doing a whole year my 35th year of life. Okay, I'm going fuck a saber with it You stop being sober start doing Molly. I might start doing Molly. It is it is the best drug. Okay, it's the best Oh, yeah, I think I've done it once. It was very fun That's crazy. I did acid once. Oh, yeah, I was dating this girl for like three weeks and we were like, let's not you know This is intense struggle. Let's not say anything. Mm-hmm crazy Second we felt anything. We were like our thumbs are in love. You're my soulmate Do you think if you hadn't done acid, you're not together? We wonder that. We each woke up in the morning like, what did I say to this person I kind of know?

And then just didn't mention it and kind of went on with it for a few months and fell in. That's beautiful, man. Imagine if you're that, but it's also like imagine if that's all it takes for humans to be pushed towards something. Dude, right? That's all it is to find true love. Yeah.

Do acid at the right time. Jump into the fire like that. Yeah. I'm gonna do that. Any gals want to come over and do some acid? Maybe we're soulmates. You gotta just kinda know each other. Yeah.

You can't know each other too well. What was the, how did you guys meet originally my friend Neil? Go she was a comedian ran a comedy show and she was Helping like served serve Franzia in the back Uncredited waitress That's good, that's huge I was about to start judging you so hard if you fell in love with another open niker.

That's so much more respectable than comedy. I don't know the double comedy relationships. That's a hard it's crazy. It's hard to think of. You can't have to use. And it's also like an opposite.

Yeah, absolutely. I just feel like you see so many people do comedy and then there's significant others also doing comedy comedy and then there's significant others also doing comedy. And then it's like, well, now they got a podcast about the relationship. This is horrifying. And there are people, there are friends of mine who are actively doing this right now. And if you're listening, Rosebud, this is not about

you. Rosebud, there's so many other problems with your and Andy's relationship. Don't worry. It's not the podcast. This is not about... The kid's cute though. The kids, they're beautiful kids. The kids are beautiful, looks like fat Andy. Yeah. Two friends of the show,

we've had them both on multiple times. Beautiful baby. Yeah, she is so cute. But I am like, that's too much. It's too much togetherness. It's crazy. I guess I envy it on one level. Sure.

Because if you can do that and not want to fucking kill each other. You really love each That's huge. I can't fathom that I'm jealous of like that level of connection, but I don't think I can do it I also don't podcasting is like I like it more than other jobs. I don't like it You know what I mean? I'd rather not do shit I'm not one of these people that needs to do something. I could be on a beach getting fucked up my whole life I would be happy if I was a if I was a trust fund kid. It'd be beautiful.

It is crazy. It wouldn't be nice, right? I feel like sometimes, I feel like in this last couple years of my life, I've met really rich kids who also were grinding. And I'm like, how do you, I'm like, I respect it, but also like, why? No, fuck that.

If I didn't have to, oh my God. I don't respect that at all I didn't have to I don't respect that at all Don't respect that at all Don't fuck it unless they're like doing something good for the world with their and the thing is if you go far back if you Meet a rich kid in New York. Yeah, the money came from something horrific Like there's no way their great-grandfather Was involved in some kind of human trafficking some kind of like prison forced labor Situation like he and just those are the times that they put on the slaves The locking mechanism

To be able to raise you break through it with their brute strength But when the saddiest team weatherford got the double locking shackles, and that's where we are today That's why that's why we have a townhouse in the West Village There's no like if you go to the Midwest or something like somebody's rich rich because their fucking dad has Five car dealership bro, but here the money's evil, bro and dad has five car dealerships. Bro, but here the money's evil, brother. That is very true. The money's evil.

Is it like that in Baltimore too? Oh, yeah, you can get rich on, literally the richest guy I knew was a guy who's, the richest guy in my community in Baltimore, Greectown, was a guy, he and he. I love when a town is named after it, an ethnic group. It's beautiful, dude. It's so, because it always sounds,

it sounds like you're like putting them down, but they're like, no, that's so sweet, cause it always sounds like you're like putting them down, but they're like, no that's just- We prefer it. In fact, we're mad Hispanics are moving into Greek town, you know what I mean? That will, I was channeling them. I'm happy the level of taco is shot through the roof in the last 10 years. But yeah, so the richest guy I knew was a guy who inherited his dad's machine shop

And the roof was faulty and caved in and he sued the roofing company And that was the richest guy yes like that's how you get rich in Baltimore You know what I mean, and I'm sure there is some like There's parts of Baltimore that I'm sure there's some industry, but it's like industry left, bro It's like there was like steel mills That's what rich people were like and it's like that shit dried up all those motherfuckers killed themselves in the 60s when when steel you know went away so yeah so it's like the richest people in like a small town it's kind of

quaint yeah it's like literally restaurant owners and fucking car dealership it was like that yeah And then I do. Yeah. Yeah. I did truck maps. Well, Austin, I feel like you grew up in Austin or around. Right outside. OK, OK. Yeah.

I grew up in the town. They shot Friday Night Lights in. Oh, yes. That's right. We talked about that briefly before Alex interjected with something with some, you know, big, big Alex story. Yeah. Yeah.

The show. I didn't know they were different. Yeah. The movie. The movie. The movie is based on the book and that's in like East Texas. The show I think is also supposed to be in East Texas but it's like a

fictional town. Gotcha. And that was my high school. But yeah truly the rich people I knew were like people who like owned a restaurant. Yeah. They like franchise like a book of Depepo. They were like people who like owned a restaurant. Yeah, they like franchised like a book of De Beppo Yeah

Like they were like paid off for that and they had like a pool in their back right right the pool was huge You know was the marker for yeah They had a pool and they got like a like a not like a BMW for like their 16th birthday like that was rich Yes, absolutely where I grew up and then you meet people here and you're just like oh you're oh You guys are rich in like an evil You have killed someone you could have people killed. Yes, you don't want our yeah our true power exactly like power Yeah, you can like call a senator if you want to you see yeah, you start conflicts. Mm-hmm. Where'd you grow up Arizona Arizona? Oh Phoenix grew up in Phoenix grew up in Phoenix tough

I read my hometown hard because it's like such a weird place. It's no one desert and hot Yeah, but I left as soon as I could yeah, but it was a good place to start like comedy and stuff Yeah, what about being a child and living and stuff like this? Just like yeah, how to shit beige, you know stuff. Yeah, what about being a child and living and stuff like that? It was just beige. It's just like, you know, you're like. Yeah, hot as shit beige. No grass. Yeah. Yeah, like in the, like you couldn't even play outside in the summer, basically. You still would try though.

Yeah. Like pretend to have a summer break and just be having heat strokes at the freaking park. And then yeah, you just go home and play Halo forever. Why was your family just from there? My dad lived there and yeah, my mom moved there to marry him and then oh nice in Arizona Fuck what I feel like I don't even like Arizona by the way. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, it's listen I'm the same with Baltimore where I I like popping back in but I'll never live there Yeah, you know and I'm never trending for a good reason

That's both our hometown eating tough. Yeah poppin' back in, but I'll never live there full-time. And you're never trending for a good reason. Arizona, yeah, yeah. That's both our hometowns. It is getting tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like Arizona doesn't get the negativity that Texas, like you guys deserve as much negativity as Texas gets. Sure, well they had, they were. You guys deserve as much shit on in the same way,

and I feel like y'all don't get that. No, well yeah, I don't know. For a while they were so racist that it was like, any brown person could be stopped by the police. Yeah, I had to hold a report on that in high school. Yeah, that was fucking crazy where they were like, yeah, we could just ask for your papers if you just look Latino to a cop. If a cop, if some fucking guy. That was a more popular policy than you would think.

Oh no! Well, if I'm in Germany and they ask for my papers, I'm expected to... Well if I have nothing to hide, what does it matter? That's so fucking funny. Sheriff Joe, we're like the only state where people know the sheriff. Big Joe Arpaio, right? Wasn't that his name? Yeah, sure. And he was running like, people were like dying in his prisons.

In pink jumpsuits. Yeah, he had a... He wants to emasculate you. He in his prisons and he pink jumpsuit. Yeah Masculate you Pink hand crafts and pink jumpsuit. There's no way he wasn't jacking off to that. There's no way He wasn't dragging off the criminals in pink Yeah, and they were having fucking heat strokes and shit, but you know dude. That's yeah, that's did you? What so what are the jobs like cuz in my head it's like you either, like, you know, you're an old rich person retires there.

Like it's one of the classic go there because you have some kind of lung disorder and the air is dry. It's a lot of like Wisconsin people. Yeah, yeah. Not a lot of people are like are from Arizona. Right, or like what are the fucking industries? It's like golf, people golf there a lot, right?

Seems like everyone I know is like a sports therapist Gym stuff sports therapy Yeah, and then there's like the guys with like the truck nuts sure one's dad will be rich because he sells like boat Yeah, arts or something. What are your parents do my parents my dad's a divorce attorney Oh, that's a great thing to do in Arizona actually yeah, because it does feel like it's a it's the capital of a type of swinger It's like a kind of leathery Before polyamory like the swinger capital of the yes. Yes. This is like this like Republican swingers That would spit on polyamorous blue hairs.

You know what I mean? It's like the way you're supposed to fuck another man's wife, not in the fucking gay Biden way. We all get together, we eat fucking spinach artichoke dip on the deck and we all fuck Mike's wife like Americans. Sorry to say Mike. I was just a fictional name. I wasn't saying it was your wife

Yes Scottsdale has that going right? Yeah Scottsdale's got a lot of like cougars Wow, dude divorce attorney is an interesting thing is that's good. Do you bring you're around divorced energy constantly Oh, yeah You're around people that hate each other that once where there was once the highest levels of love there is now hate. But there's silver linings. My dad, his current wife, he did her case. So there is... love dies but it also opens a new door. Totally. It's like the guy who works at the receiving part of the goodwill and he's like whoa Someone's throwing away Gucci. I'm gonna take them keeping this for me You know her ex-husband so It was already New friend request

Yes, gotta be Met a couple times Official legal proceedings raise you fucking shake it you shake that you your actions led your ex-wife Directly to the man who now fucks her Now do you do you ever ask your I guess stepmother What do you know the details of why they got divorced? That would be my first is first what my mom and no no he's had a couple wives So he he went into the industry. He loves yes

He did Stands like he walks he walks the walk. Yeah You want that though? Yeah, I mean my I went to a doctor asleep apnea motherfucker uses CPAP He can really talk to me about it. Your dad really knows how to talk to divorced people. Yeah, yeah Married no some guy in love with his wife really knows how to talk to divorced people. Yeah, yeah. I want some married guy. No, some guy in love with his wife. This is a whore. I want someone who's gonna help me

make sure that whore doesn't get the house. You know, who's been there before. He was like, if infidelity can't be proven, the most she'll get is 30%. And it's very hard to prove, text messages are not enough. That's fucking awesome. And it's very hard to prove text messages are not enough That's fucking awesome respect that is

More and I'm not accusing your dad of being a red-pilled guy, but that's one of it's like well Yeah I don't think anybody would blink you got the merch now Absolutely could. You absolutely could and I don't think anybody would blink an eye. You got the merch now. He's got the mugs. That's the way to do it. Like, a point I like to talk about is like firefighters, like if you're a racist, be

a firefighter. Yep. Because no one knows that you're fucking racist. If you're a misogynist, be a divorce lawyer. You can get, you can fuck women over and people people are just like well he's just a good attorney. Sure. You know what I mean? That's what he has to do.

That's what he has to do. And he can maybe fuck women. And then you can also literally fuck them. Yeah. In their lowest moments. When they've been cheated on. You can swoop in. That's, he's got it all figured out.

What a, I'm gonna guess a great role model that dealt no psychological problems to you whatsoever. Thanks, Dad Yeah, that sounds good, I mean look but you know, yeah you were up to some stuff You know what you did He made this one lady for like a year. She's still got her last name. Really? That's weird, right? That's a weird move.

Still got her last name. One year. One year. What was her other last name? What was her original last name? It's a cool name. I can't remember. Because I feel like she might have just upgraded name-wise.

I can't even remember my ex-stepbrothers name. That's awesome that you have ex-step siblings. Remember fighting over the Batman and Spiderman covers because we each wanted Spiderman. Wow, really? And he got Spiderman. I don't remember his name. That's fucking awesome. That's not even a relationship most people have as ex-siblings.

But you got them. We spent Christmases together. I mean it's a powerful name. I would, you know, Longfellow's, that's nice. It's good. You know, it's got a little something to it. Yeah, I like it now. Yeah.

We were growing up. Yeah. Well, oh yeah, because you're tall? Who knows? It's just always like, you know, in Rollfellow they'd be like Longfellow and people would be like, fucking Longf long fellow. They'd be like, long fellow. And people would be like, fucking long fellow. Silly ass name. I guess it is like a medieval peasant style.

He's a long fellow. So yeah, calm down. Damn, dude, how many how many step siblings filtered in and out? I had two ex ones and now I have two Step brothers. Oh nice that are current you let you fuck with the step family Yeah, we fucking hated each other growing up. Yeah How I mean that's not the fact that you had that many Dude, it was like I would get cozy in my house and then he would move in some new fucking people. Like that's so un-

And like, said brothers, I was like 11 or something and they're like 13 and 15 so they're like douchebags. Oh, brutal. Immediately alphaing you, stronger than you. Yeah. I like can't play grand theft auto with them. It's your house. It was like bullies just moved into my house.

Yeah, you're dead. Listen son, I know these kids are gonna make your life bad, but their mom's pussy's top notch. Yeah. So, you're gonna have to take one for the team. I like double-ized. My mom's house, I was like fun and spunky. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then my dad's house, I was just like quiet and cool. Your Harry Potter. Every time I would talk, my stepfather would be like, cool. Oh, so cool. I'm just like, I'm not going to talk anymore. That's so fucking hilarious that just getting a bully dropped into your life, in your sanctuary. And a funny bully. Like he was funny. It sucked. Oh, fuck. On mom's side, what do we have? She ever get remarried or anything like that?

Yeah, I had one stepdad. He just came out last. He's not my stepdad anymore, but he was. My parents got divorced and I was like one. I felt like I always had like two dads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big John. Big John.

And then there was a couple, you know, a couple other guys who filtered in after Big John, and now there's Terry. Terry. Shout out to Terry. Shout out to Terry. Those are classic guys who date your mom names, Big John and Terry. Big John and Terry.

Complete opposites. Everyone my mom's dated is so opposite. Interesting. She wants a little taste pack. A little variety pack, you know what I mean? Longfellow has a ton of jokes about Terry and I want to meet him. He's fascinating. He's like a nudist kind of. Yeah. Yeah. I wanna know this man.

Like I have to lie in my stand up joke about how many times I've seen him naked. I've seen him naked like a hundred times. He just was around the house. Dude, he does like yoga in our backyard and then he'll like skinny dip. Sonning the perineum. Yeah, he keeps a wonderful backyard

but he just walks around like a big foot with his dick out. Oh yeah. Yeah he keeps a wonderful backyard but he just watched so Terry still around with his dick out. Oh yeah. What's his hair situation? I imagine him to have long. He's kind of looks like Fabio. Oh wow. But he's got gout. Oh interesting. Yeah he's shredded but he's kind of just crushing bruise all day. That's pretty fun. So he's a piece of ass Terry. Yeah he's a piece of ass. Terry you're a series of pieces as terry yes the pcs well he says for sure okay i was a hundred percent expecting him not to be read yeah i know i a tear you think of like an insurance guy you know the college here is that or even like balding long hair kind of a single longer ball pony

type of i think a very tan of guy is there a little phoenix and talks like this uh... nice is he is everyone Phoenix kind of talks like this. Oh nice Love you, Terry. You see is everyone in Phoenix. Everyone's in Phoenix. Wow the whole show I get them out to yeah, will they they love it too much. I feel like people don't leave I feel like that is where people go to stay It's astounding. Yeah, the whole state of Arizona is gorgeous, but we built our city in the fucking

Yeah Yeah, I've never I've really only just been to Phoenix to do stand-up live stand-up live. Yeah good club. I like it Yeah, it's a good one. I like the little Mexican restaurant nearby had I had lunch there every day three times all three days The way I do that When you find it you're like it's not gonna it's not gonna break my heart I know what I'm getting you find like a waiter that you fuck with. Yep. The waitresses were all hot at the time.

I was there maybe two or three years ago. Maybe two. Every waitress was hot. I was like, I can get behind this. You know what I mean? You ever see those Ted's Montana grills on the road? Yeah. I'll fuck with the Ted's every once in a while.

I'll fuck with Ted's Montana grills. And then I'll tell the people in the city that I went there and they'll get mad. They're all like, that's not what we're about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, that's real. It's just a regional Chili's if you really get down to it. Big shiny Bison sign I'm in. I do like the big Bison. I really like going to a chain restaurant in the city when I'm on tour. I really fuck with it. I really fuck with it. I really like doing that thing where everybody's like, where'd you go? I'm like a Pizza Hut How do they do the Jack Daniels burger here?

It's such a small town one time I did a club and we went to like a TGI Friday's the only place open and the Guy was like I was with the manager of the club and he's like you see that guy over there He used to work at the club. He stole forty thousand dollars from us And they're just in the same drinking hole Not a 40 grand worth of embellish Piece of shit that's awesome Damn, dude. Here's them. Mm-hmm. Cheers to him. He got away with it It seems like and he still gets to fucking have the endless margaritas

He's still yeah, it's still Friday all day for him What you got your parents still together? What do we got there? Nah bro. Of course. Okay who knows? I feel like it how often do you have people with still together parents on this podcast? I would guess not much. Not much but at least but you know their parents could hate each other. Sure sure sure sure. You know what I mean? Like I didn't ask did your parents have a good relationship? No, my parents split up, but they had a good run. My parents put up when I was 16 and I was like surprised by annoying age for them to split. You know what I'm saying?

It was kind of sick, though, because then I could kind of do whatever. Like they were I really strict parents are like very Christian. And I feel like when they split up, they were kind of just like, well, let him right. Let him do what he wants to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Get you a couple of black and milds. You know what I mean? We're breaking Get you a cup of black and mild. Why is you know what I mean? We're breaking up.

Here's a black and mild. He needs some condoms. I get some pussy. We'll turn a blind eye to you skipping mass. Kind of. Kind of. Yeah, it was honestly kind of that. Yeah. Yeah. My parents thought they thought I was fucking before I actually was.

Oh, which was devastating. Yeah, that's really they were really out here being like, OK, My parents thought they thought I was fucking before I actually was Okay, like when you make sure you wear they were truly giving me condoms I was like I can't yeah This is there's no words. I have no I wish I could use this That was crazy did your parents would your parents like were they prof you fucking no They were they didn't want to talk about it There was no and they were it was a sexless relationship Orly my dad was maybe I mean my dad cheated at times sure but there was no like and they never there was no sex talk Yeah, you could tell when he was on a run He was in a good mood he would do his move which is awesome

My dad had like classic horseshoe baldness, you know, but he had like that puff of hair You can tell he was in a good mood. He would do his move, which was awesome. My dad had like classic horseshoe baldness, you know? But he had like that puff of hair, that weird little puff that he wouldn't just get rid of or cut, and he would just fucking put hairspray on his like four Homer Simpson hairs and comb it to the side. And it was like, yeah.

Oh yeah, time to get a little fucking pussy. That's awesome. I love that you knew. We could tell, yeah, I mean, it was like family. Yeah. Oh, yeah time to get a little fucking pussy. That's We I love that you knew we could tell yeah I mean it was like well I mean I talk about some my first special but it's so funny cuz he literally had a heart attack and It was like a I have to like take a look in the mirror moment And he like lost much weight and started cheating. He was like, what's missing in my life? Getting pussy. It's like, now that I've lost weight to stay alive, these, you know, I'm not saying my dad was pulling,

top notch, you know, he's a fucking contractor in Greectown, Baltimore, Maryland, you know? So, he would go to these Greek restaurants where it just kind of felt like everybody took a turn fucking whatever illegal Ukrainian waitress was there you know what I mean like it just felt like she just like those women you know they're like They're like the youngest one was in her 30s the oldest one is maybe 50 Something and it just felt like that was kind of the scene there

And then there's also ladies from the church that he kind of I feel like he fucked a friend of a friend's mom type of thing there's like that kind of thing going around but you know who know who know that's what that's what I was that's I was aware of what he was up to yeah and there was kind of that same age we were like 16 you're just kind of like oh I see what's going on because they didn't give me any talks about you know sex But then you start to see what's going on when you're become like a horny demon You could you get to pick up on like those sexual Vibes and so yeah, I was just like classic Getting absolutely no pussy just like like what they make like watching super bad was a transformative moment

Yeah, where was like this is literally what my life is like. I am literally Jonah Hill's character, except I won't get the fuck at the end. Although I guess he didn't fuck. He never actually did, but it made it seem like- He was on his way to fucking you. It was like, so yeah, no, no pussy whatsoever. We've talked about it on the pod before, but me before but me eldest and the team You know me and I'll just go back all the way and we would just go to fucking you know parties and like Just get drunk amongst ourselves not not look a woman in the eye

You know what I mean? It was brutal stuff who lost her virginity first between two of y'all I think did you edge me out? I think you had me beat by a year or something. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right Yes, yes, you had, Eldis got close with an atrocious looking bitch in ninth grade. Ninth grade though, that's early. But that's what I mean, Eldis was in the zone. He was in there and then he just,

it just never happened for whatever reason. I feel like you were close early and then- What happened, you wanna break it down? Not really, I mean. I think she was really. I mean I think we like didn't like each other that Kind of like got in there on the wings of a breakup and yeah, I was just all this was often a straight one Huh was this the ninth grade? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? No, it was like 10th grade or maybe a grade But she was like a year older than me She went to like college and that was like the easiest breakup talk. I've ever had. Oh, you know, I'm going to college and

No worries, you're busted For fat virgin elders to be like hey, what are you gonna do? We'll get up. Have fun out there, baby. We'll get up down the line. But yeah, dude, there was none of that going on. There was no, there was, we were, nobody was a pussy getter in the crew.

We were just all, oh, brutal stuff. Taking my mom's gold minivan, driving it home drunk after a party where everyone strikes out Do any real pussy getters get into comedy? I'm trying to think some weirdly we must know somebody that was or did they start getting pussy once they got into comedy No, no, no, that's definitely an art I think it's kind of an old-school thing of like, there's a type of like, cause to me the idea that a comedian is cool

is the craziest thing in the world, it's not. Everyone who is, you have to not be cool. But there is kind of an old fashioned style of like, I'm the fucking cool guy. And a leather jacket kind of shit. Like I, I hope for Bobby Kelly for years, right? And Bobby was truly years right and Bobby was Truly I mean he was fat as shit when we were touring together and like looked bad

And then his isn't like like look like Varys from Game of Thrones You know like that was his I was his thing and so but this guy had so much Charisma, huh, and he used to be a sexy guy He was like a sexy, he was an actor first, weirdly, and then he got into comedy and he just had like this, he was always the guy that could fuck, he was always like a, you know,

and he was kinda like, they had that kinda ball busting first, just kinda literally tough, who had a tough life, like grew up, you know, like in fucking foster care and like whatever was in juvie He was one of those weird guys that got sober when he was like 19 like he had a problem enough as a child And so I do think there are there is a type of guy that is just like on Charisma and that thing that just like gets into comedy but yes for the most part I don't think anybody

yeah this is a way everything anyone does is to fuck you know what I mean? It's like this is a way to get pussy this is a way to trick women into thinking that you have value societally you know that's it. Definitely the start of it for sure. Yeah yeah that's how it gets going yeah that's why it's like, oh, why did I love stand up from the time I was 18 years old? Why did I pour effort into it? And it's like, yeah, I did kinda like it,

but the first, I mean, the first person I had sex with was like a college girlfriend who I actually wasn't doing comedy with, but then after that, literally the next 20 women I fucked was because of stand-up comedy, you know what I mean? Like it was like Just well actually I had one other one. That was a wholesome not stand-up thing and then it was just Every stand-up just led me to everything. It's like oh, yeah Well now I'm definitely dedicating my life to this even though I'm broke and my life's bad But at least I could be a loser who fucks

It never occurred to me that get doing stand-up would help me really fuck it never I mean it certainly has in my life But like when I was getting in it didn't I had no idea now Do you think just by being taught and you you played sports and like just by being tall and quiet? You could have gotten you could have lucked into some pussy. Absolutely. I really can't stress enough by being tall and you played sports and like just by being tall and quiet you could have gotten you could have lucked into some pussy absolutely I really can't stress enough how yeah yeah yeah you really you really can't overstate how much work being told being tall you know it just it just goes such a long

way absolutely and then if you're just not mean I feel like you yeah that life as well if you're not mean I'd kind of I've fucked up I've never really swung comedy into sex ever in my life once but I had like a long-term girlfriend in Arizona when I was doing comedy and then when I got to LA there's like a couple hookups sure and then Kate well did to me and my whole plan was to swing this dick around after my Conan credit I was like I'm gonna use this to like 2017 too when it was really like 23 and ready to go you know Kate was cool yeah well I also and we barely know each other.

We just met, but just hearing about your family, it's like, that's a classic guy who doesn't try to fuck that much. That's a classic guy that like, you can go one of two ways. You can either become your dad, or you can rebel the opposite way, where it's like, I, it's actually rebellious to care and nurture a relationship instead of constantly

looking for pussy. Dude, that is exactly what it is. Yeah. I'm pretty sure, I'm like, I just gave my dad way too much shit that I can't be like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. That was really astute. I mean, I get that too because me and my brothers

have gone different ways on our dad, where it's like, cause our dad was, you know, he did alright, we're trying to get back in the zone. We recently had some lamb chops together. We're trying to reconnect but like, you know he was like I have kind of gone the exact opposite way where I'm like, oh No one will ever tell me what to do because my dad always complained He was like he felt like it's so funny when your kids you tell your kids how trapped you feel by your family No crushed by the responsibility of caring for ya Don't tell me that yeah, and so he was like unsuccessful in his business

And he was like and always talked about feeling trapped so was like, I'm gonna succeed and I'll never, no one will ever trap me. I'm gonna live like a fucking child to the point where it's getting pathetic on the other end, where I gotta fucking get into a relationship, whatever. But then my brother, both same situation, my brother was kinda like, I'm going to be the best family man possible.

Like my brother was like, always tried to make every relationship work. The second he met a nice woman who he clicked with, he never had those constant thoughts of like, what if there's something better? He was just like, I wanna commit. So it's like, I get that that's, people could just, I feel like you either

go hard one way or the other when you come from so much dysfunction. And that was just my guess You I don't know what's going on. I think you're just kind of in the zone bouncing around getting some pussy No, I got some you deserve some you don't. Oh, of course. I mean, no, I got a girl right now. Oh, you're in Oh, yeah, how long you've been dating like two years? Oh shit. Really? I didn't realize that yeah damn nice. She's lovely Yeah, she's sweet. She's the best. No, I don't know. I feel nice. She's lovely. Yeah, she's the best No, I don't know I feel like you were talking about knowing your dad was cheating

Yeah, I feel like I still I to this day do not know if you ask my mom my mom will be like yes Absolutely, and if you ask my dad he's like How dare you like truly? I Still Tuesday do not have any answers Like truly Tuesday, I've been divorced for like 15 years. And I still to this day do not have any answers. I would believe it. I absolutely would believe it. My dad, he's just charming in a way that like,

I think you could have done it. Totally. You know, but like, I don't know. What'd he get up to afterwards? He's remarried. Remarried. Did he go pretty quick? He was like weighing his, he was like dating.

It's weird to like see your dad dating Yeah, I like there was like yeah, there was women calling our phone a lot like the house the house phone bunch You know that I like never met so I like knew my dad was outside and you're like 17 18 Yeah, I stayed with my dad my mom moved out gotcha and, that's my dad was. That's a fun little gender swap. Yeah. Usually the mom has to care day to day. My dad made more money so he could pay for the house. Nice.

My mom was kind of, she was like a teacher. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad was like. Your dad's like, get packing. Yeah. I'm keeping the fucking house. It was crazy how they did it too

because when my mom moved out, they waited till I had Like a football game. I had like a Gone my mom's is not in the family So it makes sense it was filmed where you're from. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right in that lights We can't ruin the scrimmage. Yeah, he's gotta get his head in the game boy after the game. Yeah You're not a young kid like you you they could so easily have talked to you about this totally you were literally a big play Yeah, during the game and then like son. We're getting divorced They could so easily have talked to you about this totally your little big play

We're getting divorced If you get a touchdown we might stay together That's fucking wild 26 can't guard you all right Holy fuck dude, that's fucking hilarious. It is weird when parents are dating. I need my boyfriend Yeah, yeah, yeah I kind of hope my mom my dad. I don't know what it'll get up to I do kind of hope my mom gets into a nice I mean, they're all there 70, you know, but you know, just want to be with somebody I would like her to I always yeah, it like, just sometimes I think about why didn't they just get divorced a little earlier?

Like why not, I would've liked a couple. Were they old already when they got divorced? Were they staying together for you? Huh? Were you staying together for me? Did they stay together like til y'all were out of the house? Dude, my parents got divorced like last year. Oh! Yeah.

They were together my whole life. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's the kind of thing where I'm like, it's insane to like the fact that this is happening now, where it's like, you know, which is good for them. Like I'm happy for, I'm happy for, because it's like whatever, you just, yeah, stay together for the kids kind of idea,

even though whatever, that's bullshit. And now it's like, you know, they were together the whole time, sort of. And now I'm like, I wonder what they'll get up to. You know, but I sometimes I think my mom is kind of like she's kind of like the fucking guy from Shawshank that killed himself after he was free. It's like, you know, what does she do now? Her whole life has been taking care of an ungrateful guy. It's like she just knows the rhythm of that.

Where it's like now it's like I don't even know. I hope she gets into some shit but. Has she done it at all? No and also my fucking grandma just keeps hanging on. You know what I mean? I'll stop being mad. I mean what's she doing? It's time to go lady.

It's fucking time. I love her more than anything. She's the best. I'm gonna be sad when it happens. I will be really sad. Don't get me wrong. But it's like she's not happy to be around. It'd be one thing if she had all this fucking if she had like you know if her body was going

but her brain was active and happy and it's like, and she didn't even have dementia. She just is so bored. She kind of pretends to She just stays It's we she's she'll make she'll pretend like oh man. She's so fucking funny She wanted to go to Greece and it's like you cannot go to Greece You'll die we ended up taking her was my cousin got married But it was like the most harrowing she kept begging for months to go to Greece

And then we take her to Greece and she just does not want to be there at all. She's like this sucks She was like Lee in America. She's like leave me in Greece to die Uh-huh, and then she goes to Greece and she's like wait this fucking village has no AC There's no fucking I don't have an iPad. I can just place a doku on over here. I think she was pissed You don't even got cable. This is it was so funny What a bad mood she was in and she was like I want to go to the wedding I want to go to the wedding and then we were at the wedding and she just was like She just it was so funny. I helped remember the eldest was there too

We went to Greece together and I helped my grandma, you know My cousin is beautiful ceremony on like, you know kind of on this beach But it was like kind of hard to get a fucking old lady there. So I kind of helped her go through these rocks with her walker. And it took like, you know, it took us like fucking 30 minutes, right? And then and then and then like I help her back and I have to everywhere I'm kind of maneuvering her everywhere. And then when my mom's like, all right, she tells my grandma, she's like, it's time to

go. Maneuvering her everywhere and then when my mom's like, alright, she tells my grandma She's like it's time to go my grandma gets up by herself and just fucking scoots to the car Like when it's time to leave this bitch was like I'm ready to fucking go home She hated every aspect of it and that was the moment where you're like, I'm ready for this bitch to die It's time to go lady. You don't want to be here and it's like we can't send her to fuck it And then my and I said my mom's got a basically, you you know gotta be a caregiver the whole time. It's fucking annoying I feel bad for her. Oh, she lives with her mom? Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly Okay, and then it's like we can't my grandma wouldn't want to fucking be in a nursing home, right?

You know I mean who does yeah, I don't know Maybe it's kind of nice. My stepmom's mom was in our living room for like five years Oh the living room's hilarious. My dad would be like, why do you stay your mom's when you come to town? Yeah So I like stay there one night and then I'd go out to get like water at night and she'd like wake up me like who is that? And just in my underwear Yeah here dude an old lady that's not related to you not related to me. That's great. That's lesser. May she rest in peace Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like that's brutal yelling old lady. Yeah No, I kid I mean I love my grandma and even I'm annoyed by her but there was some lady It was some lady my dad was dating his mom not even even related to that. Yeah, that's brutal brutal stuff

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help our, you know. Hopefully we have a lot of divorce questions, else probably not. But you might be getting some here I see you I see you over there producing little buddy okay you ready to go all right play us in hey stop and Elvis esteemed guest battery started a little bit of background a couple weeks taste of an Elvis esteemed guest a little bit of background a couple weeks ago

I found out that my dad had a cheer on my mom. Whoa when I was around 12 years old and It took me a little bit to like get over it Yeah, you know, I didn't look at him that way as a guy that could cheat well or whatever But yeah lost a little respect there and then this morning I asked him to help me find something on Amazon and he pulled it up on his phone and then I see on the top he's like texting some woman that I've never heard of and also I see a message come to come in it can Spanish but basically was calling my dad like you know her love like

Mm-hmm a pet name I guess or whatever So now I'm not sure what to do exactly Should I pretend it never happened? I never saw anything Should I tell my mom that my dad could possibly be cheating again? Not too sure. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you. Damn, that's tough. That is tough. So he found out that his dad had cheated when he was 12. We don't know how old this kid is. He found out a couple weeks ago that his dad she did when he was twelve years old and that's very interesting

age when i found text to define that out i bet his mom got drunk yeah i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i Oh Your mom hit the hit a jug of Carlo Rossi happy for the chip on your shoulder that you've been given Not much to do that's tough yeah, so so basically your dad's still up to his old ways Yeah, and it's that yeah I mean I think you're probably actually right that he must have somebody must have told him it must be the kind of thing that everybody in the family knows and maybe

got over Fuck and he sounds really young right he said we was Maybe like 18 or somewhere. Yeah Don't don't tell your mom buddy. Yeah, well, she's right now. She knows she knows that man She knows that but she like loves him and she's just like, she's decided, okay. Or she might not even love him. I mean, you could bring it up to her and have a discussion about it. I think that might be worthwhile. I don't know. It depends on what you think you need to do to like fix this. We're putting ourselves back in the, like, let's say we were, let's say we're like teenagers,

right? We've all dealt with this on some level it sounds like. Although you, they were already divorced when you were, so for you it's different, Michael, but for me, speaking as someone who was pretty sure his dad was cheating, but I guess I didn't have the smoking gun he had, I just kinda had vibes. I don't know what I would have said honestly It's also like it's a lot to ask of you. Yeah, you don't have here's the thing

Here's the real answer you don't have to do shit Yeah, in fact like you probably shouldn't do anything don't do it And you definitely don't have to like don't feel like this is your responsibility in any way. They're the parents You're the kid. You know what I mean, and so Welcome to learning your dad's a piece of shit that's really what this is yeah moment for every yeah I would say maybe don't bring it up to your mom but talk to your dad you know I'm saying that's interesting just be like hey brother I saw it what's up so let's talk let's talk about it yeah some manly advice I avoid these yeah or maybe. Or fucking blackmail your father. Get something out of it.

Or just rebel. At least get something out of it. Like now you don't have to listen to him anymore. Oh that's a great point. And you can do whatever the fuck you want. That's a great point. And yeah it's all his bullshit's done for you now. And that'll feel good. Deal with this betrayal of trust by more negativity

Start getting fucked up. You don't got to anymore. You don't got to do anything this fucking guy. Tells you are bro I feel like just remember whatever pet name he called that woman in Spanish Just have that locked and loaded anytime. He says some shit. You'd be like yeah Yeah, you bust that word out. That's a good one bust that word out and then he's quiet. That's good Yeah, dude, you don't fucking have to you don't have to fucking drive yourself crazy here. You're a fucking you're the you're the kid here and Yeah, blackmail him. Don't listen to him. He doesn't hear he does not control you anymore. It's like yeah, you've just Welcome to living the rest of your life with the knowledge that your father's a fucking piece of shit. It happens to all of us He does love you though, and he's like a good dad in the other ways then yeah, don't like hate him

You don't have to hate. Yeah, I mean you can be mad at this. It's tough though because it's like Yeah, again if he's a totally good dad, I'm gonna guess There might be some other areas of improvement sure, you know No one's got every other aspect of their life figured out But also just kind of won't stop cheating for ten years or something But hey, yeah, you don't have to be it's just a nice thing to have in your back pocket Yeah, and you'll really work through this In probably ten years from now. You'll really know how really work through this in probably 10 years from now.

You'll really know how you feel about this in like 10 years. It really is a blessing in disguise. You'll be fine. You'll be fine. This is how the world works. Most of the people you look up to are not worth being role models. Next question there little bud. I'll be baby eldest you beautiful Albanian bitch and the guest is or guest Have a bit of a predicament here cut a long, but I'm gonna try to do a quick I Dated my ex for three years broke up on good terms We broke up about three years ago a little over that so still on good terms still friendly

There was a neighbor of mine that she was always insecure about. There was genuinely nothing ever happening with me and this neighbor when me and my ex were together. We never hooked up, nothing even close to that. We broke up and then sometime after we broke up, me and that neighbor ended up hooking up one night. We were hooking up for a while, and now we're dating. So me and that neighbor are now dating.

They obviously know my ex. My ex knew them. And so my now current partner would prefer me to tell my ex that we're dating, and obviously I should. That's a reasonable request. Why? Yeah, I'm a little confused by that. My ex that we're dating and obviously I sure that that's a reasonable request I was actually planning on the net. I don't really see my ex very often like once in a blue moon like Don't watch my cat

But you don't have other friends I was gonna see my ex I was gonna let her know Hey me and the neighbor are dating now Because I'm not doing anything wrong, but that might make her feel some type of way But what were you gonna say? Hey, um you were right You're your greatest insecurity in our relationship that I kind of gaslit you about and won't even admit to myself now Like he's fucking the beginning of his call is like we never did anything We were dating but you fucked her immediately after you broke up. She's a hundred percent in the right You at least admit that anyway. Yeah, what are you gonna? Tell her? Hey you were right about that

Anyway, if you see her fucking it if you see her a target they give her a hello And let her know she's and think about the fact that she is sucking me off now What did you mean she knows her because they were neighbors? Yeah? Thanks, how she knows her he's like saw each other in the hallway, but that's not knowing that's not a fucking It feels like this guy's thinking there's something out there something deeper about this relationship They know each other before yeah, I feel like they knew each other in some kind of way if so let me get this straight Let's say I'm dating a woman and our fucking downstairs neighbor. She thinks I have Chemistry with her and then I break up with her. I fuck the neighbor This person she only knows from in the hallway. Sometimes I

She asked me to clear it with my ex That's insane. They have to know each other a different way. Yeah, right Like that's he just don't want to talk about the full something else is going on here. My neighbor is her cousin, by the way My neighbors are identical to my neighbor There's more there's more there's no this looks as maybe is a very sad ok he gets into some more i was sort of cut him off but let's go what else we got here it might call me

but we in the midst of a full-on mental breakdown of and I had to go home to her parents was committed to a facility and Yeah, I was there for a week and she's out of that facility now and You know is doing a lot better is on medication now, but You know wanted to like meet up and buy me a beer as a thank you for talking her through that a little

bit when she scared the shit out of me. She was really saying some crazy ass shit. But obviously I don't really want to go out for a beer with my ex given I'm in a relationship now and I do want to tell my ex, but I'm afraid that hearing that, like I'm dating the person you were insecure about at the time, might send send her into a spiral, and I don't want her to have another mental breakdown. But I also want to do the right thing by my partner and tell my ex. The right thing by your partner is so crazy. So that our relationship isn't like a secret in that sense.

So, anyway, yeah, I'm fucked. So, uh, fuck it. This is fucking weird. You're really not Obviously do not tell her just got out the facility and you're like, you know, like hey I was fucking exactly who you thought I was gonna look that's actually my new girl now and the Pope made me do it Like you were thinking I mean, okay. I am really hung up on the neighbor Requesting he tell his ex

like I'm something is off here, there's like a weird girlfriend request of being like Like yeah, that means something to me. It means we're official No, but either that will make this girl way more uncomfortable out of the mental hospital hearing that than your girlfriend Yeah, having to deal with you not telling her right so that's the thing either We have a piece of information that's missing that makes us make sense or his current girlfriend is kind of being Sadistic you know what I mean like those are the two options I see cuz like again let's put the scenario where it's just a downstairs neighbor And it's not someone they have any other pre-existing relationship with why on earth

Would you fuck it like flip it and be like if you if you started if you started? Fucking your neighbor and you were like, hey, can you tell your ex-boyfriend? I fuck you now It's like what is that? What the fuck is that? It's weird. I don't think it's that weird if it's like, okay, so they're hooking up for months before like they're together or whatever. But what relationship does a neighbor have

to somebody you fuck? I, what if, I mean, what if he just like, you know, what if they were fucking whatever he would just tell her and she's like, oh yeah, my ex thought, you know, I wanted to fuck you or whatever, isn't that funny? He just like, you know, leaks information like that to the dude. So who, still, my ex thought you know I wanted to fuck you or whatever isn't that funny He just like you know leaks information Still who gives a fuck like the idea, but that my that that plus her knowing like They're still like talking on good terms. She's watching her cat

I mean, you know maybe she's a little jealous or something okay if it's from the perspective of if it's purely from the perspective of Hey, can you tell your ex you're seeing someone now? it's from the perspective of if it's purely from the perspective of hey can you tell your ex you're seeing someone now or like your relationship with your ex where she sees the cats makes me uncomfortable that's different though than being like you could just be like you you could ask him to sit to take a step back in that relationship and be like hey I'm dating someone right now we're a little too friendly I still still wanna be in your life at some point

but things are pretty raw right now, let's take a break from being friends and then let's reconnect in the future. That's so much different than telling her exactly who you're fucking. You know what I mean? That's what I'm confused about. But whatever, in any case,

what he should actually do, I mean. I wouldn't do shit. I think what you do here? Yeah, I mean you kind of have to give this I think what you do here is like hey, I'm happy like This is so tough for you to go through. I'm happy. I could help you through it I really care about you, but I do think we're broken up, and it's probably healthier for us to like You know not I can't be your support system through something like this. I was happy to do it this time. I want the best for you, but I think I'm seeing somebody right now, I'm dating,

and I just think for both of us it would be healthier if we kind of went on pause friendship-wise and maybe picked it back up maybe a little bit where I'm feeling more secure in my relationship, I still have feelings, you can flatter her, whatever. You don't tell her I'm fucking the girl that you were where I'm feeling more secure in my relationship. I still have feelings you can flatter her whatever you don't tell her I'm fucking the girl that you were worried. I'm fucking yeah Let her find out about that on a story in six months. Let her find out about that when you post a vacation Yes, absolutely let the lithium build up in her bloodstream

And then she can fucking find out who you're fucking dating. I gotta pee real. Yeah. Yeah get in there, bro Well, uh, we'll fire one up. We'll catch you up when you're back Go ahead eldest. So why does your ex need to come watch your cat the cat thing is the cats really strange That's but that does feel a little bit like classic Like keeping them around like a little bit. Yeah, they're not dragging it on Dragging it on that. Yeah, which is you're like, oh like I remember that relationship with the cat. Yeah, the cat loves you so yeah I think it's also little this guy like you know whether he realizes it or not just like playing dumb because it's like You know on some level you should understand

You don't need to like have your ex watch your cat the same way you should understand like you probably shouldn't fucking like start full-on Watch your cat the same way you should understand like you probably shouldn't fucking like start full-on Dating like the neighbor that like your ex like thought you were fucking or something. You don't have listen I mean that not that you shouldn't but that's different Who cares? Yeah, she and listen sometimes if you're dating someone's not right for you And they're insecure about somebody who ends up being right for you. They they're just a perceptive person You know what I mean like that's a That's definitely a kind of awkward situation But you can't you can't disqualify

Potentially somebody you have a great relationship with because the person that it ended up not working with was right that you did want to fuck Them yeah, you know what I mean, but I don't know man There's there's he definitely has played dumb a couple different ways where he's like, when we were dating nothing bad happened and like, yeah, the cat's thing is crazy, but, and I don't know how old he is, he could be semi-young, he could be in his,

you know, mid-20s figuring this shit out. But, I mean, his, him and his ex were dating for, he said, three years? That's fucking crazy. And they've been broken up for three years also no is that what he said yeah We broke up about three. Oh, that's fucking insane. Yeah, it's like what oh my god Why would you need to have that that's a whole level of fucked up? They were that this they've been they've been broken up for three years. Yeah

Broken up for three years, and she watches your cat for three years is yeah, what are you? What oh man something's wrong, something weird is going on here that's what I mean by playing dumb, that's why you just gotta cut your ex off this person should be dead to you you don't need them in your life on some friendly level it's kinda pointless wow that kinda complicates the fuckin advice I gave him a little bit cause you can't say we need to take a little break here

if you've already Established kind of I guess you could if you've been If you just be like it's healthier. I'm dating someone. I think we should step back take a step back here But yeah, he might that might fuck the person up So you just got to be you clearly have a weird fucked up in meshed relationship here And you kind of have to just tiptoe around things until she's on that, until the meds have powered in. And then maybe drop the bomb on her.

But your current girlfriend being like, you have to tell her we're dating. That's something I'd like to explore more too. But whatever man, fuck this guy. Next question. We went through it enough. Hey, Stav. We went through it enough. Hey, Stav. I'm a first-time caller and I'm wondering if you have advice for a couple who one person, me, is a morning person and always wants to have sex at night. So then we don't have any Good hours of overlap during the week because we're both working normal schedules

On the weekend. It's fine. We just meet in the middle have a little afternoon delight But how do we keep it alive during the week when? He's too tired in the morning. I'm too at night this is a very relationship question. It really is yeah. Wow you can't just sometimes do it this is crazy I will say I do like to fuck in the morning because I feel like I have all my powers. Me too. That's the best version of me. My dick is the strongest it will be yeah until I wake up the next morning That's true and at night after especially when you're younger and you're out all night You're getting fucked up. That is the lowest quality penis Possible when I was younger I used to be all about that when I was younger. I was a night sex guy

I was like yeah, I'm gonna have some drinks I'm like party and I like fucking go to sleep now I'm like I need to my dick didn't work even as a young man So I really needed a full night's rest I do think though if you're someone who's like I only have sex in the morning. That's weird That is weird too for sure you got it mix mix a couple nights in here, but but I think this is an overall Yeah, I mean Kennedy logistical issue. It is logistics Can you just have the fuck wheel like it's the chore wheel and it's

someone's night to fuck when they want also I've met this is a little this is a little like I guess like toxic about the man but it's like you're too tired to fuck in the morning I don't respect that it really is it really is you're a bitch for that one it's like this guy is sometimes like this some old-fashioned like you know almost like 80s stand-up comedy and stuff but it's like you pretty much fuck your girlfriend when she asks absolutely that's sort of my that's sort of my like if I have like I mean do I have food poisoning or something right I'm not gonna fuck her in the morning, you're not gonna groggily get pussy? Yeah.

I don't know. You don't feel that, like, power of God coming inside you when you, like, are gonna have sex? Yeah. Like, oh, I am tired, but for the next ten minutes. Yeah, exactly. Ten minutes, whatever. Ten minutes for the whole thing. Yeah, whatever it is.

I'm not tired. Yeah, it's not that fucking long. I relate. Yeah, anyway, so why don't everybody else here is in a relationship. Why don't you guys kind of take the lead on this one? Because it's been a while and whenever I was in a relationship, we never really had a, it never lasted long enough to get into these logistical concerns. We just fucked a lot whenever I was in a relationship.

I definitely, my girlfriend wakes up early and I go to bed very late. Right. But we do have, we've never had like a schedule. Yeah, yeah. It just happens when it happens. Yeah, yeah. Eldis?

I feel like when you're like, I mean, you know, like being too tired to fuck or something can be a thing. Totally. If you're in a relationship, but it's, you got to treat it like going to the gym or something like you never regret after you like Thing with sex and you kind of like just do have to like force yourself like yeah to do it because it's like You do have to treat it like a troll wheel because like you know when you're in a relationship sex is like more like It's like checking in or something. It's like maintenance. Yeah, making sure you're like getting your like oil check It's like a big hello

Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh hey there you are, I missed you, I missed you, I've been missing you Yeah, yeah Because you can always think of it as like you know, oh whatever we'll fuck eventually like it doesn't matter But like you have to actually like work at fucking like totally to just make sure you like I don't know life life is so busy and stuff and there'll be a million reasons why you guys like Might not fuck for a stretch. So just like, you know suck it up and get it Exactly. There's so many other things that will actually make it harder that the fact that you just prefer

Fucking at night or in the morning is kind of insane Yeah, cuz one of you is gonna have a tough day That's an actual reason but like just I'm a little sleepy. I don't know find it brother Yeah, I'm sorry when I when I give them great advice here, but stop Suck a little dick at night and let him fuck you in the morning every once in a while Fuck you in the morning every once in a while Weekday you got to get a couple of those snuck in sure but like the weekends It's like wake up on a Sunday and do it like have a nice little Sunday sure But you're telling me this guy wakes up and his girlfriend is sucking his cock and he's mad

I mean that's insanity this feels a little bit like a I mean, I'm not telling you to Technically by the letter of the law commit assault on your sleeping partner, but I would have a conversation. I have cleared it with girlfriends before where I'm like, listen, you ever want to suck me off while I'm still sleeping? I've given them the, I've been like, you are, you have my permission. I'll sign, let's get a notary in here. I'll put me on the stand

I will I will always support you for that. So maybe have a little conversation, but it just I don't know I am a little I am a little skeptical about the so yeah If look if what we're saying doesn't hold true then yeah take it into a chore wheel situation and be like alright this week We get the fuck in the morning, you know We get the fuck in the morning, you know, we get the fuck in the morning for you and we'll fuck at night and you just kind of have to prep yourself for that. Or we could cut to a two at right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They still, you could be paying me every fucking almost every week. There's an opportunity for a dick pill sponsor and you never do it right now. We could have dropped it in right now. You see that would be perfect. It would be perfect Yep, bleep out the brand you already on it You're a pro. No free plugs here No, no, it's not your fault. It's really these companies fault. There cannot be a better podcast to promote dick pills. That's crazy I mean, it's fucking insane. I never out never stop. When did your dick stop working?

When women it don't do it just because it stopped working. Yeah, what did my dick ever work really? I mean I could I still I can still I just my dick the quality of my dick is so brutal Huh, like just just I fat as shit. Yeah having a fuck. You know, I don't I don't love any of the women I fuck It's not like a love gets my dick hard that would change My I didn't dig dig pills when I was in a happy Like I'm friends with some of them and that's where my dick kinda works. Yeah, sure. That's actually really sweet. That's actually really, really sweet. You're like, if I love a woman, yeah. I'm a romantic. No, that's actually beautiful.

Thanks, Steve. That's really nice. Thank you. Yeah, I'm pretty fucking romantic. The thing that I've always, I've said this to you off the podcast, but the thing I've always respected about you is how openly horny you are and the way that I'm like, I feel like I see girls sending you ass on the, like in public on the internet in a way that like few people can do. It's a nice tie. You can't be like, I'm a man. I'm a way that I'm like I feel like I see girls sending you ass on the like in public yeah on the internet in a way that like few people

can do it's a nice time you can't be you can't be like traditionally attractive and do that but you can't be so ugly it's creepy sure you got to be you got a on paper read horrible yeah but just just have that little magic quality you got it that's but if I was hot and doing this kind of Stuff will be a big issue Sure And if I was just like, you know and look for some some will hear me say that and say he thinks he's not Atrocious looking and they'll be right also but the magic the fairy dust doesn't work on them

But it don't gotta not kind of work on just a handful of ladies you know that's that's what's important thank you man thank you for seeing that in me no I'm proud of you it's really you'll be like I'm trying to see titties in Cleveland yeah that was a fun era of my life I would just do that and it would work yeah I have to I feel like I just want to grow as a human a little bit I'm it's like right, how much of your life can you just, how much of your life can be just about getting pussy? You know, and I'm kind of over that now, where it's like, that's a, that was a fun little run. But now it's like, I think I'm in the zone to, not yet, after the summertime, am I going to stop getting pussy in the summer?

Come on. But like, but you know, come the autumn, come pumpkin patch season, it might be time to try and get a little relationship going. I think it's been long enough. It's been a couple years. I'm excited to see you apple picking, man. Dude, I'm ready. I can't wait to see that.

I'm a good boyfriend. When I'm in that zone, I wanna hang this up. It's a tiresome lifestyle. It is. Constantly trying to fuck. You know what used to get me when I was really, when I moved to New York I was like really outside I remember when when we first met and you were just talking about how astounded you were how easily women fuck in New York

That was a conversation we had and like what show is that some like? And I was like, yeah, man, it's fucking awesome I was like I was like welcome this city the women are the hottest and they fuck the easiest. The greatest city in the world as far as I'm concerned. I had never seen anything like, cause also in Texas, like girls are like, they're like a little, they're a little more repressed. Sure. You know what I'm saying?

They've got a little bit more of that like religious guilt. It takes a couple of whacks to crack the nut. You know what I mean? To get the meat inside. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Couple dates and then it springs open. I feel like what would always snap me out of like really being in like a slut phase is like I would really be, I'd be having a conversation with somebody and I'd be like well I'm only here to hook up.

And this is a person, I'm like we don't like each other. We don't really have a good vibe. I mean I will say I have a good vibe. I'm a big, I'm big on vibes. Yes. So it's gotta, the vibes gotta be good, you know, especially in New York. Yeah in but like on the road It's like well, what am I gonna be alone with my thoughts? Never I can't do that. Never I gotta try and get pussy I what am I gonna fucking hang out with eldest again? I see him every day Sometimes I'll get pussy then go downstairs and we'll watch you people on Netflix get pussy then go downstairs and we'll watch you people on Netflix until 3am. We've had some fun times on the road. I've heard a girl like gag when she's

sucking stops dick before the other one. I'm like oh brother. She's really putting on a show. She's really putting on a show. She's really selling it. I know. I was literally embarrassed. I was like great. Because we were in a weird Airbnb where like the walls didn't go all the way up And so usually I really nice private space usually and usually or will be in hotel rooms But this was like one night we were in and out of this city, and I was literally in that same moment I was like fuck dude. I'm not gonna hear the end of this Fuck dude, I'm not gonna hear the end of this. Alright, let's do one more here, Elder. We got a nice one. What do you think?

This has been a great EP, boys. Go see the fellas on tour. We'll flash all their stuff. Give it to us and we'll put it in the description and stuff. But, you know, great EP, boys. Let's see what we got here. We got something nice. Stav, Eldis and Guest, fellow mid-30s Maryland boy here. I actually saw you at the Lyric last October. Oh, thanks, bro. Killed my dude. Maybe lengthy, so I'll get right to it. My girlfriend of seven years broke up with me a couple months ago.

It really sucks. I thought I was spending the rest of my life with her, I'm super torn up over it But life has to go on I've been trying to use the breakup as motivation to better myself and I have been mostly happy with my progress I'm getting in better shape. I'm about to start therapy and I'm making moves towards getting out of my job that I So it's mostly going well. I've also been hanging out with this girl I've known for a really long time But there's no foul play my ex literally recommended that I pursue something with this girl What the issue is?

My dick flat-out does not go My libido is way down Barely jacking off these days and I've failed to have sex with this girl Jacking off these days and I've failed to have sex with this girl multiple times now because my dick Talk about perfect for me my ex a couple times since the breakup and if she so much as grazes my shoulder I get rock hard I kind of feel like my dick is just heartbroken too. Oh Want to work for anyone else? I'm not too sure what to do or who to talk about with this But I'm a huge fan of the pod so I figured I'd call yeah, this is actually

You couldn't be more in the right place. You gotta get back with your girl, dude You gotta show up to her house knock on the door and refuse to go chain your Take handcuffs chain yourself To the front door and say I'm not eating until you get back together with me. It doesn't work. Yeah Without you it won't work. I tried fucking the girl you weirdly set me up with and my dick won't get hard Well, let's start there though, honestly that's fucking bizarre. Yeah.

She recommended, okay look dude, far be it from me to tell, this goes against everything I believe in to tell someone not to get pussy, but clearly, clearly you're not ready to fuck. Your body is telling you you're not ready to fuck. Your body is telling you you're not ready to fuck. What you need to do is, you're on the right path with all the other shit you're talking about.

Like getting in better shape, starting therapy, getting out of the job that's always put you down. Like this actually could be a very good thing for you. That's devastating. Seven years thinking you're gonna get married. Brutal stuff. Maybe you should have proposed a little sooner. No, I mean clear this for the best because it's better that you didn't get together because somebody didn't want to. But yeah, dude, you're just not ready. And honestly, the fact that you're saying no foul play,

like you're still thinking about your ex-girlfriends like she broke up with you Yeah, you're not really good, dude. Yeah, he does. Yeah, truly truly like too good too good because at this point it's like you could this is actually when we need eldest is red pill corner because You're okay, and I've said this before it's like every once in a while a little Okay, and I've said this before it's like every once in a while a little problematic misogyny It's like chemotherapy is the thing I've caused where it's like it's poison, but it kills being a pussy You know it's like just a little bit of it You know what I mean just enough to get over this and then you you're off it

You don't stay on red pill stuff But to help you get over getting out of the blue broken up with seven years you can think to yourself fuck that bitch Every once in a while you can play a little future and try and fuck somewhat one of her friends if you want just to get Just to feel alive Definitely don't worry about foul play or hooking up with an approved woman Yeah, that's how much he loves this girl Yes, I'm only gonna try to fuck the girl if you say I'm allowed to. Exactly, dude.

Damn, that's love. You're fucked. You're fucked. You're heartbroken and you're fucked and you're clearly not ready to date. And you could absolutely, you know, but that's the thing. You don't have the same compulsions. You're not fat as shit and could really use a dick pill to get your dick over 60% When you're in Indianapolis for example

It's so so you just need to stop doing you need to stop dating you this is seven years Yeah, it's like and when did they break up did he say like just recently? Couple months ago couple months ago, and you're trying to date? That's wrong. Dude. At least a year you're out. Yeah, yeah. Six months before you even consider some meaningless casual hookups.

At least a year for anything legitimate and probably unfortunately more. Like that shit is tough. The rule of thumb that you hear people throw around is half the time you're dating Three and a half years as fuck. Maybe that's too long But like still dude and I can tell you I'm not having been in that many serious relationships but like for me when I was dating somebody for two years it took me like

Two full years to fully be over and maybe even a little more like there's still a little so it's like it's all different for everybody and you're dealing with a particularly tragic fucked up one word out of the blue you thought you're going to be together forever so you're just so not ready bro that's it and you're really on the right path though because you're trying to control everything you can the like, you know working out getting out of your job therapy That's the shit you that's the shit We preach is like get a little post breakup glow up going That's that's the time to do it reset your life and then you're ready and you seem like the kind of guy who wants To be in a serious relationship You're in your mid-30s You could be in something really nice as the better version of yourself by the time you're 40 no problem maybe even a little sooner than that but yeah

you're just not ready to fuck whatsoever yeah damn dude date yourself for a little bit absolutely and what and you'll know when you start wanting to jack off because he wasn't even beating off. He wasn't even jacking up. What are you going out for? That's the whole point. You have to go on dates when your dick is just like, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr You're actually in also a nice place. It's I would love to be less horny Yeah, I would love to be able to channel self-improvement the science we could achieve Exactly exactly you're in actually a beautiful spot channel. You're not horny don't force it channel all that energy Into into your other pursuits policy reform. Yeah

Start getting the politics or something you know change the laws hit up a lawmaker mm-hmm change your interest so much that you you fear getting back together with this girl mm-hmm that's a good point fuck this got couple months that's is you're not even you're clinically insane yeah quickly you get hit and it doesn't hurt for a second and then it fucking really like you're you're just getting Oh shit's gonna be brutal Can I bring up a point that I just thought about yeah if if he if there's a girl that your Girl for your ex-girlfriend is telling you this the girl you got to be with she not oh you definitely can't you know?

I'm saying like that could be part of it to something's up your good. It's not like a bad Oh, that's interesting It's not like a proof. Oh, that's interesting You know, it's not like a approve. Yes, it's a proof. She kind of thinks that the girls like below her Yeah, or and even if she is a baddie, it's like Psychologically, she's still pulling the strings. Yes. So either way she's homely or This there's like a fucking fucked up still you're weirdly getting cucked in a way by this girl that broke your heart yeah we see a no each other they can text each other about how it was your ex is laughing your limp ass dick right now yeah you got a fucking

you didn't spend a movie where they're like they sweep for like bugs for like Uh, like if you're being surveilled It's like this woman might be wearing a fucking wire Your ex might be getting everything sending all the messages back. This is this is approved is crazy um, although it also could be the thing where This will you know, his ex feels really guilty, right? And he's got a kind of cute co-worker Who's like it's kind of like the situation from earlier? Where it's like if she he she would have been

Intimidated had she not been planning secretly to fucking break up with him kind of thing so whatever still not a nice thing that she's doing Still not nice. I feel better about And your your ex should factor in zilch Until you're ready for a factor in zero or like I said if you need a little toxic masculinity If you just sprinkle just a little bit to drop just to help you get over Drop it she didn't needs to factor in not at all or almost like a fucker I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want, but it can't be I will obey her wishes Cuz you're not ready to get pussy if that's how you're thinking Tough tough though feel I feel for this guy our hearts are with you, bro. I'm dead our hearts thinking about you our hearts

Thinking about you. Thanks for coming. I think I'll probably be back at the lyric at some point Actually, I shouldn't say yet, but little little that's a little tease We might have some kind of show around the holidays that's all I'll say all right well that's a good Ed boys thank you so much for coming yeah yeah come thanks for inviting me to tag along of course yeah come back you know now once you're in dude you're in the group now you can bring yeah now I got somebody I don't know yeah yeah yeah go see the boys on tour. We will, we don't have shit going on.

We're taking the summer off over here at Stop Your Baby Enterprises. This has been, this was recorded January 2023 actually. So this is really pre-recorded. We don't have shit going on. See them and we will talk, oh! JP Special is coming out soon. That's something we should talk about. We produced a special, it's coming out soon.

You can watch Tires on Netflix actually, please do. And... I think... Yeah. Well, whatever. Fuck you guys. We'll talk about it in future episodes. Or maybe we'll put in a little insert if we really need to plug anything.

Alright, that's enough. Bye bye!