Stavvy's World - #90 - Tom Papa

Starting point is 00:00:00 Oppa! Welcome everybody to Stompy's World 904 800 stop. Colin will solve your problems. I'm thrilled to have on the pod one of my comedy fathers, Tom Papa. Thank you Tommy. Hello son. Between you and me, we really should have Bobby on here. Yeah, that would be great. My two gay comedy dads You were definitely the dad. I was functional one

Starting point is 00:00:30 You were you were like the dick as you lived on the other you're in LA So it was kind of felt like you if you and Bobby are a couple you guys got a divorce You moved to LA. You're the like functional kind of distant You moved to L.A., you're the, like, functional, kind of distant, you know, father figure. And Bobby was here constantly. He's like my overly emotional mother, you know, who I see all the time. I'm always threatening, I'm gonna go live with Dad

Starting point is 00:00:57 if you don't stop yelling at me. That was very measured. Give you some sound advice. Right, right, right, right, right. I remember we were somewhere and something happened where someone cancelled, like something in our travel went wrong or something went wrong on the little tour we were on. And I was on the phone with the rep and he was just like, oh, all right, okay, we'll take care of it.

Starting point is 00:01:24 And I hung up and you were like. Oh yeah, I remember this exactly. I was like, what's the matter? And you're like, that is not how Bobby would react. Yeah, I remember your manager fucked up the hotel. Is that what it was? Yes, that's what it was. And then you were like, ugh.

Starting point is 00:01:40 And you were really annoyed for one second. And then you were even like, you know what? I'll take care of it. And you just booked, for one second and then you were you were even like you know what I'll take care of it You just like booked you just like found the hotel that was nicest and nearest and you called the back You're like booked this and that was that and then you're like back at it, and I was like oh my god Bobby Bobby would have been yelling at that man for 90 minutes. We wouldn't have gotten a hotel We would have still had to stay at the shitty one because he would not have taken care of it. He would have just kind of like challenged the assistant, the manager's

Starting point is 00:02:10 manhood. And then the guy would have like taken it out on us. And then Bobby would have felt guilty for how bad he yelled at him so he wouldn't have yelled again. Yeah, but then he would have just kind of like said shitty comments to you. And then he would have taken it out on me. You were literally like holding the armrest,

Starting point is 00:02:29 like waiting for the onslaught. I was like, what's the matter dude? It was like, oh, my other dad's an out the hallway. Oh yeah. No, I have a, I literally remember exactly where we were. Right? Like I have the image of, I don't know what the city was But I remember driving from the airport. Yeah, and like it just not the the hotel not being booked

Starting point is 00:02:51 Or it was just like a really shitty hotel Whatever something it was something like that I forget what and then you just doing it yourself and the whole thing being done and us getting lunch And I'm still just like reeling. I'm like wow that was a really normal way to handle that Reeling. I'm like wow that was a really normal way to handle that Give yourself really is normal It's like what would Bobby do Don't do that I love it and then I I'm from a you know There's a long lineage of people who have opened for Bobby and I like I talking to Soder and like Joe list and they're like

Starting point is 00:03:25 You got him when he was chilled out Like ten consecutive years of therapy like we got him fresh We got him with the little goatee in the Kangol hat You know He was still going nuts, but he's the man. Yeah, he's the best. Yeah, that was the bet for for the listeners. It's like that was the moment where I kind of felt like I could actually do comedies.

Starting point is 00:03:54 I just fell into opening for both you and Bobby separately. And you were friends. And it was did I meet you first in Maryland when I remember you did Ramshead in Annapolis and I remember that gig that was awesome because I You know I was a fan of yours and I was a big comedy nerd But you don't realize that you are just the fuck like comedians what I love about it is even the most manicured Because you you know at the time you were doing like you know you're a married dad

Starting point is 00:04:22 You're doing you're wearing a suit on stage the year the marriage we got the marriage ref here. I'll just show some fucking respect by the way That's right. You didn't roll out the red carpet for the marriage, right? You didn't bring your whistle to get signed by Tom But I was like yeah This is like a great comic and he's and then you realize the best comics even when they've grown up are all dirtbags in their hearts best comics even when they've grown up are all dirtbags in their hearts. You know what I mean? As we got to know each other it's like yeah you were just you were you were me 20 years ago. Yeah 100%. And it's like that was that and you love because I was dude when we met I'm 22, 23. Right. And it's just oh I mean if I had four minutes that didn't say pussy or cock or you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:05:05 Like I was filthy or it was like fat jokes. Like fat jokes were clean and then it was all just pussy eating jokes. I don't remember you being super dirty. I remember you being very funny. Like I saw you on, they sent me a YouTube clip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I immediately was like, oh funny guy. That's awesome. You know when you see someone you're just like, okay that's good. Yeah. And I was just like,, yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, and I think it was as we worked together longer, right?

Starting point is 00:05:32 I don't know how long we did it a couple years. Yeah years for sure Four or five years probably feel like you got dirty or the later I think maybe you were like on best behavior in the beginning. Oh, for sure. And then you don't think. Then we were friends, you're like, all right. Yeah. Dude. I'm just gonna be me.

Starting point is 00:05:50 Yeah, what you saw was me being as clean as humanly possible. And it was still probably 12 of my 20 minutes were disgusting. But like, I was like, jeez, I can't do that one. I can't do this one. And then as we were like, I was like, oh, I'm't do that one. I can't do this one. And then and then as we were like, I was like, I'm good here. I can really let it rip. And then as I became even more of a I don't know, you know, you have ambition early on, you're like, I'm going to be a

Starting point is 00:06:14 I'm going to write clean jokes. And I'm just like, all I care about is comedy. And then you'd like you move to New York. Your life sucks. Dick. You're like you want to kill yourself. All I know is like pain and misery, you know, you're welcome Yeah, thanks for giving me false. Hope there was gonna be easy and easy But yeah, we that was a so we met in Annapolis and then and it's great as we did one

Starting point is 00:06:38 We did one show in New York in New York State Mm-hmm, and I'm levity and. And then you came to Father's Day. I did go to Father's Day brunch with my father and all those people. And it was so cool because they all love you. You were like family, like it's a very, it was a very familial thing. You know, Greeks and Italians and the whole thing.

Starting point is 00:07:02 And you just fit right in. It was great, I had a great time. And it was the price you had to pay to get a ride back to the city Yeah, they're all very happy for your success. Oh, that's yeah. No, they were great there That was a great time. Yes, my parents definitely still my mom still doesn't understand that you're not Greek Like that's part of it's like Papa. She just thinks it's Papas. Yeah, it's like there's no s There's no s on his name. It's been Papa for the ten years But she's still in her head is like oh that old Greeks say when I tell them no, I'm Italian and I'm from Sicily They're like well, we had it first. Yeah

Starting point is 00:07:39 You are Greek great people love claiming shit that happened literally four thousand years ago. It's really I have to say there's more joy in the Greeks feeling that you're one of them. Oh, I guess because there's fewer sure like the Italians are like yeah we're all Italian right and the Greeks are like no you're ours yeah yeah yeah yeah it is a good thing. I sometimes I feel like Greeks are like Italians like from concentrate like concentrated You know what I mean? It's like it's been diffused in American culture being Italian And there's so many people who claim it and it's like movies and everything Yeah, Greek people it still is it feels a little bit like a secret club. Yeah, everybody's aware of it I think the Masons where it's like you see a Masonic Lodge, but it's like what the fuck's going on

Starting point is 00:08:25 You're right exactly. That's how everyone knows a Greek person, but they've never really like, you know Ben, you know, you see the Greek wedding and the breaking plates and stuff. I have a fun thing about there's a thing in LA There's like the head of Paramount. I think is Greek and he has this Greek like party every year I don't know if it's Greek Easter or what it is. And it's like all of a sudden these Greeks pop up. And I was doing a charity event and he was there and a couple of the other Greeks and it looked so cool that I, I'll be honest, I didn't fight them calling me Papas.

Starting point is 00:09:02 At least it might lead to a movie or something. Yeah, dude, that's when you betray your roots. I didn't know the Greeks controlled Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're, yeah, we're putting a little, that's why Greeks are so anti-Semitic, it's a smoke screen. They're like, no, it's them, and then we're actually,

Starting point is 00:09:22 it's actually us. Yeah. Oh, I'm trying to sneak into that little that little Greek cabal So, you know, it's it's yeah because I so we were at that we went to the Netflix brunch and the CEO of Netflix is Greek and Demetri Martin was there and I heard them. I heard them They're like see cuz Greek Easter was right before that Netflix right and I I heard them being like, see you tomorrow, and I was just kind of lingering like, whistling. What's tomorrow?

Starting point is 00:09:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what are you? Where is it again? And I just met these, you know, Dmitri Martin, the guy I loved as a kid, and like this powerful CEO who loves stand-up comedy. You can't really be like, can I come, guys? But boy, did I want to.

Starting point is 00:10:04 Oh, that would have been, They would have been so happy. I mean Ted really loves Deseretos loves comedy like nobody else. He really does. That's so we got so lucky. Drop that. Can you imagine the fact that the biggest streamer in the world this year just loves stand-up? That's so awesome. Changed everything. But the way I found out about this about this Greek meetup is because my mom has gone from You know kind of like modesty and do your best to now. She's like well come on. Let's fuck you She's like what she literally was like you didn't get that she pulled it up on Instagram She's like look at this and it was like Neoford Alos John Stamos Oh, we made you Martin she's like hmm. You weren't here, were you? Like, it was like, what are you doing, man?

Starting point is 00:10:46 Like, you're slacking. I was like, she knew about it. I was going to tell her, like, Ma, apparently there's this Greek get together. And I was going to tell her, like, maybe someday. And then she's like, oh, I know about it. And she's like, and you weren't there. And I was like, how do you know about it?

Starting point is 00:10:59 How do you know about this? And she had it pulled up on Instagram. It doesn't seem like it would be difficult to break that, to crack that. Next year, you know about this. She had pulled up on Instagram. It doesn't seem like it would be difficult to break that. Next year, you know, hopefully. We got tires did well, you know, we've been trending for we were number in the top 10 for a week. Yeah, it's good. You know, maybe next year, you know. Yeah, but I saw the first two. It's really good.

Starting point is 00:11:21 It's good. It's like six episodes. And it was filmed in like 12 or 13 days like so great. You didn't have scripts Well, we're like finishing the script they were writing the scripts I was like it's going like they're my character was supposed to be there for a little bit They're like this is fun and they were just like adding me to shit It was awesome and McKeever who I mean Shane is fucking hilarious But me Kiefer I think people are really gonna understand like he's so good to work with like and he always did the Writers with he always did a sketch. Yeah, and so we get two guys that obviously Shane is so fucking funny

Starting point is 00:11:51 Yeah, McKeever is just like such a great comedy director, right? It's really cool. No, yeah It was so much little funny stuff. Yeah, yeah, just like the eyebrows Funny no, it's awesome. It's great to see you in it. It's awesome. Yeah, I love I love and I don't know How you like I was like man acting's this is awesome. This shit is easy I know right shit, you know, you just show up. Yeah, people treat you like you did all the hard work I know congratulating me. I'm like I didn't do shit I fucking came when I said a couple lines, you know, They're already, you know, they let me punch my shit up. It's so funny how you just fight tooth and nail

Starting point is 00:12:31 for stand up, which is one of the lowest forms of art there is. We've dedicated our lives to one of the lowest forms of art. We have to do everything and then like, you fucking show up. I mean, I'd push back on that a little bit cuz i i think that you're seeing like scripted stuff kind of fall flat a lot but you know so hip to what it is like he has to be so great

Starting point is 00:12:55 yet it's almost like kind of diluted it's so most like stand up as the form is like the most potent and honest it's the fun and people are like Yeah, it's like a visceral thing like you well, I think live. Yeah, it's such a great experience I'm gonna be wrong, but it's like, you know, you see a lady fucking juggle on a unicycle. That's pretty fun live, too Red pendant look her up man. There's the halftime shows a lot of NBA arenas. She's electrifying

Starting point is 00:13:30 No, but I just know it's just like yeah, it's just so funny to how acting is, you know, yeah I mean not that I'm never gonna be fucking Daniel Day Lewis, but it's like no there's but it's like Comedic acting is like you show up you be funny Someone's already written at least half of it They've already giving you something then they're thrilled when you punch it up And it's like that's just what we're trained to do or like we know what sounds funny coming out of our mouth So yeah, it is it's it randomly. I guess was good for being fun. You know being good on screen I love it because you because you you would just start popping up and shit you became friends with

Starting point is 00:14:05 Soderbergh right yeah, and that was you were great on the informant. Yeah, we remember when we watched behind the candelabra with my mom Remember we were high as shit We were secretly hitting the vape pen my mom had came up and come up from Baltimore And she'd never visited us and I think somebody had moved out of this room And so we had like turned into a guy and it's like, all right, we have a guest room for like a month. So mom, why don't you come for a week? And you know, we, me and I just grew up together.

Starting point is 00:14:30 And so it was like this fun, like family trip. My brothers came and then we're like, let's watch a fun movie. Yeah. And we're like, Ooh, Papa's in behind the candle. I'm not knowing that it was like a weird, like, it was like this psychosexual thriller where like Libera, like it was like this psychosexual thriller where like, where Liberace is basically like Dracula, essentially, where he's sucking the life force

Starting point is 00:14:53 out of Matt Damon. And we also were such weed addicts at the time, where we like, we can't go a night without smoking. My mom is here. So now we're secretly, you know, these potent vape pens All right, and it's just like this like horror gay horror movie Which is a great movie the performance is really great Yeah, but I get to my mom was like what the fuck did they pick like good?

Starting point is 00:15:17 We have seen like back to the future. I'm walking around in flower pants Yeah, your doctor feel good is my friend That was nice. It's just, I'm gonna go to bed now. I'm just like. Are we going to church tomorrow? Yeah, right. That was a hilarious night.

Starting point is 00:15:39 Yeah. Because it's one of those where it's like, he can't, 40 minutes in, the train's left the station. Yeah. He can't be like, Mom mom this movie's probably gonna get weirder We're already committed like we by the time we had stopped sneakily smoking. Yeah, it's an eating ice cream She's been watching this movie for 45 minutes Great oh Sorry Tom. I just got caught up and looking at all these great deals on Baltimore Orioles tickets on the GameTime app

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Starting point is 00:17:14 Last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed my friend The monster truck rallies also in town Tom you want to go I love game time It was hilarious, but yeah you were were well you were dot were you don't really fun I was that your character was liaison I was his a tour manager okay yeah I was his tour manager yes yes and it's good like I was having this discussion the other night that as comics it's like there was a time when you needed to get a lot of roles to like bolster up your stand up

Starting point is 00:17:51 and now you have this kind of a thing and it's like you don't really need to go act and stuff you only really do it if it's gonna be fun if it's fun and someone else does it all does it all and somebody who's great like Soderbergh one of my favorite directors and You're yeah, you've popped up in his stuff And he seems to really like working with comics to like getting that energy

Starting point is 00:18:11 I've seen like yeah, he'll just put comics in like like I just saw Kimmy And I think Byron Bowers in that right and that movie's great That's and I just love his movies because I know they're so good. They think that he respects your time, right? There's no bullshit setup. It's like it's so arresting and affecting now immediately Yeah, and you're you're going and there's a resolution like, you know, I'm a simpleton It's like I need and look I'll watch it like art movie whatever and he's done some Obviously he's done some art, you know, and his movie sometimes are cut in very interesting ways It's not like it's I'm not saying it's like right down the middle like just now entertainment

Starting point is 00:18:50 But it will pick up immediately and he'll take detours and stuff, but you're already hooked Yeah, you know, there's no like no he's gonna tell a story awesome happens immediately. Yeah, and I just loved it Why don't more you know what I mean? I know let's really that. And it's like now it's like a Marvel movie will get you, but it's like that's so formulaic. I know. The action where it's like. Soderbergh, it's like, I quickly learned like that the calm of knowing if you're going to work anywhere in his orbit, you know it's gonna be quality. Right. And he knows what he's doing. There's no way, like, you could be in things and it's like, oh, that wasn't that great. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:29 You see some cuts and you're like, oh. That's not gonna happen with this stuff. You're gonna be like, oh, this is gonna be cool. Totally. You're gonna be like- This is going to be, you're protected. Yeah. You're in this creative force.

Starting point is 00:19:40 Yeah, yeah. And you're going to be okay. You're gonna come out cooler. Totally. You thought it was even possible. Yeah, exactly. Have you, do any really bad ones come to mind? Have you ever been involved in anything where you're like, ah. Not real, like not acting wise, not really. Nothing, you feel cool.

Starting point is 00:19:59 No, nothing. Everything was kind of like, even like the indie stuff. Yeah. It was always like, you know good swings and stuff That's cool for sure. I don't I really have like an allergic reaction to like auditioning for You know, I have like this new agent who doesn't really know me Yeah, they're like you can play this cop and CSI A cop with a wry wit

Starting point is 00:20:28 and a gleam in his eyes. Is this a camp? Are they doing a campy episode of SVU? You're a little short shorts. You're like, I think you're guilty. I don't need it. And I think I do have like this allergic, even when I was starting out,

Starting point is 00:20:47 like I would say no. And I remembered like hearing Danny DeVito like said yes to everything when he was young. It was like, I'll just take everything and then try and like make my mark and get his thing. I was like, that's cool. Like that's, you know, it's humble and you're going and you and then you'll find your way and pick your spots But I couldn't do it. I was like I can't because as a comic you don't have to yeah You don't have to be on you know totally a loady Which is funny because you say that but like think about where you were at the time Yeah, I think in like some shitty apartment. Oh, I don't have to I make ten dollars a night doing spots Yeah, I don't need this I can get two bacon bacon cheese in the morning And when did and I love hearing those shitty New York first starting out stories

Starting point is 00:21:34 Yeah, cuz it's like well you grew up in Jersey, so you were like familiar with bad living Wasn't so like you weren't that far away Yeah, dog shit. No, I meant it wasn't so like, you weren't that far away. You know, basically what I'm saying. Because you grew up pretty close, right? What part of Georgia? Like close to New York. Northern Jersey.

Starting point is 00:21:50 Yeah, Northern Jersey. So it's like, you were sort of aware of what it takes, but still when you make that commitment to move, it's still crazy. And what years was it when you moved? I started my first, my comedy birthday is June 12th 1993 that 93 yeah, yeah, and I won't tell you how old I was it'll depress you know I was four Yeah, I was four I always feel. Wow, that's awesome. Holy shit

Starting point is 00:22:25 Yeah, but when did you but but then I were doing mics, I guess in New Jersey Mike's in Jersey. What's that? I love the I love that grimy first moved to New York stuff though. Yeah, I mean, yeah It was insane. My first my worst apartment I first moved in with a girl and then it didn't work out and then I moved in with Kyle Dunnigan oh wow really we live in this shitty apartment that's awesome I love that fuck no windows there was just a one window we're supposed to have him on the podcast he canceled once and then I canceled well you know when you do that yeah that's so crazy he's the best he's so fun naturally funny yeah yeah I mean

Starting point is 00:23:03 there's no one funnier. Yeah And John Bush who like he's in we had like this sketch group together. Oh, wow, it was Ian bag Wow, Bush, that's hilarious Kyle Dunn again Cynthia my wife and And I lived in this like we Kyle and I live in this shitty little apartment. It was like two rooms. Yeah No sink in the bathroom roaches My window fake it was all the garbage cans on the first floor

Starting point is 00:23:38 And we were so happy of course we are we just kept all of our little costumes for our sketch thing in the kitchen. And we were just making stuff and Kyle played in real life a character called Kylie who was the decorator that was going to make our apartment nice. Love it. Yeah. So he created, he had like a little fountain from Target and like some, and his room had no window. So it was like this dark cave. You know, like when you're dark, cold cave and you can sleep for like three days, every once in a while he'd pop out,

Starting point is 00:24:13 like I gotta go outside. The windowless room, the one windowless room and one room overlooking the garbage is such a funny combo. It's like, what kind of natural, like was that even legal to fucking rent that out? No, no way, no way. They carved it out and called it an apartment and it was not, it was a hallway.

Starting point is 00:24:34 That's awesome. That they put like doors on. Yeah. It was insane. And there were no doors. There were no doors in the apartment except going into the tiny bathroom. Like if you walked in, there was no door to Kyle's room door to my room

Starting point is 00:24:48 or door to the kitchen it was just open and we're men. That's fucking literally like caves. Yeah like if you told me today I had to move in there tomorrow yeah I would kill myself but literally to your when you said ten dollars a night it was five dollars a night That was a lot better Yeah, and I would get a bagel on the corner and they put so much extra bacon on the bacon egg and cheese That it would last the whole day. Yeah, and There's no part of me that thought wow, this isn't working out. Of course. It was like no this is happening I'm doing it baby. Oh

Starting point is 00:25:27 Yeah, it was I remember. Yeah, I mean the halal car was my version of that big bacon egg and cheese Yeah, that halal cart fed me carve it up carve it up meal. Yeah I'm like I'm like just have the self-control to eat half Yeah, that was the big that was the big thing and I was like no vets No, no salad extra rice you motherfucker do not do not you're not gonna trick me with a salad trick So I just filled to the brim with with with rice I would buy my own pitas because you get them cheaper and I would have like a pita and half of it Yeah, and I would kind of make a little sandwich with a little rice. Oh Yeah, great. Yeah, I'm upset that you're trying to dial it in

Starting point is 00:26:06 and not eat as much. I know, I know. There's a legendary bakery right down the street. Papa came in here with fucking, this motherfucker came in here with, this is a small amount of his pastries. I'm like literally straining holding this. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:21 It's like I'm, We've had it before. Rainbow cookies. Cause your show where you would go to bakeries, holding yeah it's like we've had it before because we rainbow cookies because you're you you're your your show where you would go to bakeries yeah we went to that but that's like you introduced me to it and ever since then like whenever we get that stuff like the lobster tails the cannoli is like we've yeah we fucked that place up yeah they're so good oh yeah they're so good pandemic Christmas remember that yeah where we go we got a lot they they basically catered our dessert for pandemic Christmas

Starting point is 00:26:49 Oh my god, just me in a red tracksuit So stoned that I fell asleep at like 7 p.m I'll just eldest it is at the time girlfriend now wife like they were trying to make the best of it They're like we're good. We might not be near our families, but you guys dressed nice. And I'm like, what's up guys? Was that the Christmas when you had the reindeer blowing you on Instagram? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:15 My daughters were like, we love Starrows, he's so funny. And then they were like, what's this? There's a antler going down on Starrows. Yeah, the red light reflecting off my stomach. The jingle bell going on and off. That might have gotten me banned from Instagram the first time. That was the last, yeah, that was the last time that that for the original. I think I tweeted it.

Starting point is 00:27:44 I'm good now. Stubby Baby 2 has been going for a while. I think I was dicey. I was dicey. And then I think when I started popping, the real started popping off, Instagram started treating me a little with a little more respect when I started having when I started getting bigger numbers, they gave me the check mark for we're trying to get in contact with them forever. And then finally we heard from them So I think success has saved me funny how that worked

Starting point is 00:28:08 Yeah I mean I remember being pissed off at the time because it was like and I love Eric Andre's the font one of the Funniest guys this shows the best. Yeah, but he would just put his cock on it's the All right, you gave him a timeout His fucking is beautiful caramel penis right on the timeline and he just gets one day but I get blown by reindeer and I'm out forever a lot of followers yeah yeah sure he had a million he was over a million yeah but it was just like but so anyway but I wouldn't we were we were doing a gig in Long

Starting point is 00:28:41 Island and then the next night in Newark. So we drove through here. That's right. To stop at that bakery. Yeah. Right, we realized the bakery's right around the corner from your place. Yes, yes, yes. And I have a picture in my phone. They make this prosciutto and provolone bread.

Starting point is 00:28:57 And it's like a wreath, it's like a ring. And I, there's just a picture of Stavros just chewing it like a donut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just walking down, it was starting to snow. Well, to my, the thing was we had to book it because it was supposed to be like a huge snowstorm. Right.

Starting point is 00:29:14 And we had to get to the bakery and then the gig. So we didn't have time to eat anything. And I was starving. And we got caught in traffic. And I was so hungry. And I'm just like,'m not this whole fucking thing It's supposed to feed a family. I had had probably three quarters of it by the time we got to the gig I brought you one. It's smaller

Starting point is 00:29:32 Beautiful and it was frozen so we couldn't eat it right now, but I'm gonna leave it for you all. Thank you All right. I'm gonna hit the gym after this. I'll have the I'll have the loaf. Yeah, that's good. It's got meat and cheese in it Yeah, it's got everything you need. Yeah, it's got meat cheese and bread. Yeah, that's good. It's got meat and cheese in it. Yeah, it's got everything you need. It's got meat, cheese, and bread. Yeah, you can take the cannoli. The stuff nutritionists say is what you wanna eat as much as possible. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:53 Yeah, no, that place was great. I love it, yeah. So, and I just, so you go windowless, and then how much are you, how long are you just kind of living like an animal in New York or um for a while Probably

Starting point is 00:30:12 Probably like five years love that yeah four or five years yeah and then Cynthia who was part of the sketch group we fell in love and She had a place downtown in Chelsea. Gotcha. And we decided to move in with each other. Nice. And get married. Civilized you.

Starting point is 00:30:34 Yeah, totally. It really did. It really was like, it really was, yeah, moving in with her, I, it just kind of like corrected everything. Yeah. in with her I it just kind of like corrected everything yeah it was like it was well fun and whatever but it wasn't you know you can't unsustainable and yeah and then I moved in with her and I was like I pretty much quit smoking weed Wow all right P I eat dirtbag Tom he's coming back yeah now kids are now leaving the house Frank the Tank is starting to emerge

Starting point is 00:31:08 yeah because your kids are they they're both in college now right yeah one just graduating okay and one's gonna be a sophomore in college wow holy shit yeah i thought one might have still been in high school even that's how much that's how college and wow out in the world in the world even. No, graduated college. Wow, out in the world? Out in the world. She's going to be a dirt bag in New York like we were. That's her plan. She's going the same route. Good for her. That's gotta feel nice. It does feel nice. Yeah, it's cool. I'm just excited that she's going to form her community. She's gonna find her friends and eat weird risotto bread. Like it's gonna be like she's gonna build her. Do drugs that if you heard about them would make you nervous, but you don't need to know details.

Starting point is 00:31:50 You just know she'll come out of it. She's gonna put on outfits you don't approve of, but you don't gotta see them. I don't have to. I don't have to participate. You don't have to check in day to day. You're just taking the, you know. But yeah, now that I'm like,

Starting point is 00:32:03 all of a sudden I have like a little freedom Yeah in my house. I must feel nice. Yeah, I think this is this is good. That's great I could I could Mike micro slash macro dose in the middle of the day No one's gonna like need help. Yeah I love that. That's a nice little change. I know it's pretty exciting because I do love the stories of also you from college And like again, that's what I was like. Oh, yeah, this man's a fucking this man This man's one of us don't let the cardigans and the tailors and the little hats fool you this fucking guy You know the same thing I felt when little like

Starting point is 00:32:41 When I know it was like bad when Malini relapsed But it was like you're like well He is a fucking he seems like he's got it all taken care of when he's like comes from like a nice family But it's like you're like oh, yeah the funniest guys just do have demons Unfortunately and do are like just know how to party whether it's good or bad You know what I mean like whether it's so much like everyone is kind of like you know Gaffigan's like that where you like meet him and he's like a ball busty like people might think of him as like a family friendly but it's like he's I've seen him destroy people and like being

Starting point is 00:33:18 so funny about it too like not being a cunt but just being like, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah, no, you're actually kind of mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh boy, Tom, my pits are rocking. Whoa, Mando whole body deodorant in Mount Fuji, my favorite fucking scent. Ah, yeah. I smell a lot better, don't I, Tommy? And it's not just Mando's deodorant I like. I recently traveled overseas, and all I brought with me was Mando's Acidified Cleansing Bar.

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Starting point is 00:35:45 Barely passing at your shitty Jersey College What's your school something like a rider rider sounds so fake distinction is down the road from Princeton Proximity we're close to a good school somebody We're close to a good school. Yeah. We're placed in adjacent. That's so funny. Yeah. But I loved it.

Starting point is 00:36:10 It was really, it was great. Yeah. It was like, yeah, it was just a place to like kind of grow up a little bit. Yeah. And then I went into the theater there. Oh, okay. And that's when I really realized. Interesting.

Starting point is 00:36:22 I'm gonna go live that life rather than. Interesting. And it really was because I was in this place Where I could be the lead and all this stuff and oh, yeah, and I remember one night. There was a party We had a house off campus and there was we're having a big party and I had like a dress rehearsal or a show in the theater and I remember going to Wawa. Oh,awa to get a turkey sandwich after the show and I was in there like ordering just kind of like you know that post show like yeah yeah yeah sweaty kind of thing and I remember having no desire to rush to get to the party with all the friends I love

Starting point is 00:37:02 to get to the party with all the friends I love. There was no rush. It was I did a show. I'm getting my food alone in this place. You know what I mean? Beautiful. Wawa. You like have that feeling like I can live totally outside of what everyone else is doing. Yeah. Because I'm performing. I do get that the post show.

Starting point is 00:37:23 I mean, the post show meal is one of the most beautiful things That's its own if you feed that beast It'll get larger and larger where it's like not just a nice little sub in a moment to yourself It's like you call the Chinese place tell them they better fucking stay open eldest I want dumplings and I'm willing to pay top dollar You know it can get really like we're ordered by the end of the tour Oh my god, that last tour where it was like we were just ordering full rib eyes to the green room It was like it was once it was like well, let's treat it was like somebody's birthday

Starting point is 00:37:56 Like oh, yeah, let's try this and then it just became what we did every time. We're like, yeah I need a fucking rib eye. We're getting every appetizer on the fucking thing and I'm just Like you know, it's not even like dial it in is to not eat after the show, right? That's like if you really want to be healthy and try and lose weight like you can't eat that late You can't do it, but it's so making me nervous. So you say that's I'm sweating right now It's like I have to do that. I've been not eating after seven. Yeah. Like just right now.

Starting point is 00:38:30 And I realized like the shows don't start till 730. So the idea that I would not do two shows. There's no reward at the end. And not eat anything is crazy. It's crazy. And I'm already doing that fat gymnastics where I'm like well. I need my nutrients performing I Couldn't possibly not eat something you know I'm already giving myself an out for a tour that doesn't start for

Starting point is 00:38:53 Six months yeah, I'm already laying the groundwork to you know eat like a piece of shit Oh, yeah, but I really knew I really knew at that moment like oh, this is this is an alternative life Right, right. This is gonna be this is carny folk. Yeah, you're actually Taking yourself out of what everyone else is doing. Yeah, and I'm like I can go do this like this would be cool totally, I love how meaningful that was for you, but what you were missing was like Smoking the shittiest weed and listening to fog hat But what you were missing was like Smoking the shittiest weed and listening to fog hat

Starting point is 00:39:30 You're like I was apart from ever from the action and it's like, you know some shit No women Grateful dead a track. Yeah, everyone's the one woman who's like just realized she's the only girl there is like nervously trying to leave because everyone is taking their turns trying to fuck her and failing. You know? A divorced neighbor who just kind of wandered in drinking with college guys. Oh man, we had some of the most pathetic college parties when I, when I was, yeah. It was so sad. It was a no win.

Starting point is 00:40:06 Nobody's getting close to me. You really just need the time. Like unless you're smart, unless you're smart and really going for it. Like my daughter was graduating and listening to what these kids studied and the awards they were getting, it's like, oh my God, like their brains are so.

Starting point is 00:40:19 I don't think they're better off. They're so smart. I don't think they're better off. I mean, I, cause I went to college with some of those kids too, right? I think if you don't hang out, hanging out is the part. That's the nice thing is like figuring out. I think for I think those kids are going to get to 30 whatever. Yeah. And they're gonna fucking have mental breakdowns, you know, where they're

Starting point is 00:40:40 gonna invent something that saves the planet. I don't think they are. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're gonna create AI or saves the planet. I don't think they are. You know what I mean? Yeah, baby. Like they're gonna create AI or there's Google Glasses. No, they're not. You know what, they will, but to the detriment of who they are as human beings. Well, they're definitely not going to have as much fun as we're having.

Starting point is 00:40:58 Yes, yes. I mean, what is this, a Thursday afternoon? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right. We definitely have more fun. That's what I mean. For guys like us who aren't going to be like, you know, going to the sciences or some kind of thing. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Starting point is 00:41:14 Colleges, it's just, give you four years to kind of get your act together. Yeah, true. And kind of grow up a little bit. Figure out who you are. You couldn't go from senior year out into the world. That's like... No, that's true. Right? You would have been a little bit. You couldn't go from senior year out into the world. That's like... No, that's true. Right? You would have been a hot mess. I needed some socialization in general. I think it just lets you kind of... I mean,

Starting point is 00:41:33 I was also scared to talk to women. I was scared to make any pass. So just being around and going to parties and talking and like... I guess i'm projecting a little bit because I was a good student and there's a part of me that if I didn't Take the time to hang out and I got kicked off campus for smoking weed. I got caught on campus I'm pissed about that still but like yeah I'm 35 and i'm like You motherfuckers you'll ruin the day but like

Starting point is 00:42:05 if I hadn't done a little hanging out and realizing like and I tried really hard to care about school and I was on Scholarship I had a 4-0 until my senior year and then I but I was going crazy You were like I was like and I was even in a relationship with a great girl But it was like she wanted to have a family She went and she was very smart super nice great if I if that's was like she wanted to have a family. She was very smart, super nice, great. If that's the path I wanted to go down, it would have been awesome. But I think it all just was like,

Starting point is 00:42:31 I was like, I have good grades. I'm in a good relationship with a really smart woman. And my family seems to be happy, and I want to fucking suck the exhaust out of the car directly. I wanna suck off the exhaust pipe. It was just like, just work and, cause this is who I actually am.

Starting point is 00:42:53 You know what I mean? Going out and I quit comedy for a little bit and I was like, let me see if I can do this. And yeah, it was just like, I think I was capable of having, not solving any crazy things, but I was capable of like being a better person for society. And people say art is important. Yeah, it is.

Starting point is 00:43:15 But come on, I could have been a social worker. I would have helped people's lives way more and more directly. You know what I mean? Like, like I could have actually done something thankless and better for more people instead of making me rich and famous yeah when you're sad you might throw on a special but no comedian actually really gives a fuck about that that's a fun bonus I'm not mad that that happens and having been depressed I'm happy when I you know the art that got me through it is awesome and I'm thankful, but it's like, for sure.

Starting point is 00:43:46 You know, no filmmaker, no, no one really, I just do it to make people smile. No, you do it because it's awesome, because you can hang out with your friends and then like yeah, all that other stuff is nice. So I don't know, that's kind of what I'm saying is like, I just feel like if you're on that path and I went to that scholarship program where it was like, they just drill you down, they take all, they see your potential and they help you and they made you do everything you can achieve But when it's just achievement, and it's no like having a good time and yeah For four hours. Yeah, that's important when you're 19. I know I mean, but that's what you that's what

Starting point is 00:44:19 That's kind of like what college afforded you is like the realization Oh, that path while seeming great was so against your nature. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I did the same thing. I quit stand-up for a beat to the girl I was with and she had some family stuff and I was like, all right, I just got to... This is before Cynthia you're saying, before you even moved to New York. Right. And I was like, I just got to to I got to like make money and do the right thing and you step up you know and and I loved her and just wanted to do the right thing and I I've been doing stand-up for like it like you know the beginning very beginning like two years

Starting point is 00:44:58 maybe a year and a half and I was friends with Greg Giraldo at the time and one of the best you would call me like every day I'm be like, where are you? Why aren't you coming back? I'm like, I just got some shit I got to do and I gained 25 pounds I was I was just like drinking like yeah Buddies, you know playing Sega hockey What was the job you had? My mother had an advertising agency and I was writing copy and stuff like for her and in these like suits I bought it.

Starting point is 00:45:32 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Joseph Haye Bank. Ill fitting Jose Bank. Yeah. And it was so literally against my nature. Like I didn't think it. But at a certain point, I remember going to my sister like, am I even funny anymore? Yeah. I really was was I need to be in a windowless room with Kyle Dunn again yeah it was like that I get it it's like it really it's out of your control it's

Starting point is 00:46:01 like just not how you're built yeah it, it's not your nature. And now you're ready to cruise into. I love empty Nestor, Tom. I can't wait to see it. It's going to be fun. I can't wait to see it. It's going to be a big mustache. He's bought a lot of weed. He's not smoking a lot of it, but he's going.

Starting point is 00:46:17 You just keep stopping in and picking stuff up for. I love it. I love it. We'll get there. I'm on a sober year, but when I'm back, we're going to get real fucked up, Tom. A real sober. I'm on a sober year, but when I'm back, we're gonna get real fucked up Tom Real sober real sober for a full year. I turned 35 this year. I just want to take like nice take a little break I realized when you when you think about you're like, I haven't been sober for a year since I was 13 right

Starting point is 00:46:39 You're like I think that would be good for me. Yeah, so that's and the year started in January On my birthday February birthday, February 11th, February 11th, 20, 25 will be in the middle of the, actually the tour starts right after that. So maybe I shouldn't, I shouldn't get super fucked. Yeah. Fuck. Maybe it needs to be, maybe I need to be, it's weird how we're going to like have role reversal. I know. Yeah. Like if I had known that I would have come in here like really lit up yeah even can always high as fuck yeah that would've been awesome yeah yeah we should do yeah we just switch a little Benjamin button

Starting point is 00:47:17 you take care of me once in a while yeah we'll do it come to you for sage advice you say the word you say the word We'll throw you on the tour bus next Next next year. That would be literally anytime you want that would be fun. So funny He's like is that he had like it's like coming and like crashing with your kids on the couch It's like that'd be like you go into your daughter's first New York apartment. He's like, all right. I'm here Let's fucking party. She's like, Dad, I have to work. Ripping a grand bong. You're welcome anytime to act to be

Starting point is 00:47:55 as high as I was in Denver. Remember that? When I got so high, I accidentally took your room and then I was so high. I was like, I took his I took the better room. He's going to fucking fire me high I was like I took his I took the better room He's gonna fucking fire me I was like I fell asleep like my phone had wouldn't I was too high to get it to charge

Starting point is 00:48:12 Because it was like a broken thing so my phone I was because this was Denver when you could first This how old is how old we are kids when you couldn't get edibles so I got this then legal It just yeah legal and you're like I got them for four hours before you in those four hours. I got so high. I accidentally took your bedroom My phone was wouldn't charge and me and my three friends were all just crashing in your room In the green room before the show you were so high Like it wasn't fun anymore they were all before the show, you were so high. So high. They were just like, kind of like, it wasn't fun anymore, they were all just kind of

Starting point is 00:48:49 twitching like little frightened rabbits. It was like the barber came into the rabbit hole. Dude, and I was so high, and then my friends were next level high, because I was like, hey guys, I have a show to do. I got to chill. And they're like, we're good, man. Oh, that was so you're welcome anytime to come on the tour.

Starting point is 00:49:12 Yeah. I want to do a guest spot. Yeah. High as shit. I'm sure I did horrible. I'm sure I barely got through those seven minutes. I want them someone to come up and whisper in your ear. I don't know if Tom can go on. Oh my god dude I was clinging. It was Denver Comedy

Starting point is 00:49:30 Works so they had more comics. I think I was doing shorter than I usually did. Right. Usually I had been mad but that night I was like, thank god I only have to do 15 and then if somebody told me I had to do 15 in one second I would have had a mental breakdown. I was like... Well, it was so insane. I mean, it literally was just legal. And you were like stunned. You were like, we just went in and we bought it. And we came out and there was a cop and he just waved at us. That was so fucking awesome.

Starting point is 00:50:01 We'll do it. We'll do that. We'll do that this year, man. Come come get high But we need to give these people some of your sage fatherly advice Tom so yeah Eldest why don't we play a call here in the fecaccia with olives on have a little focaccia take your new nourishment Anything you want to plug here in the halfway point of the man? Yeah, well my podcast my bread podcast breaking bread. Yeah, we We've had a lot of great guests coming up and it's been really, it's really been growing and yeah. It's been really cool. Yeah, check it out. Next time, next time I'm in LA, I gotta do it.

Starting point is 00:50:33 Go look at Breaking Bread, go see Tom on the Road. Just, he's got a ton of specials out there. Watch Behind the Candlelabra with your mother, like I did, enjoy his... When is this air? we don't even fucking know because they're so you're ahead I'm taking the summer off basically sorry we're like we're trying to get through the middle of August so this could be probably July or August probably where do we have it on the summer time

Starting point is 00:50:59 summertime yeah I don't know it's looking like August And by the way it is August folks It's looking like the day before it came out is when we recorded it so crazy what Trump just did yeah That's smart Wow, Biden was pretty incoherent the last public speech he gave on recently. Who knew that Newsom was going to do that? I had to ditch that shirt because it wasn't as comfortable as my true classics t-shirts that are currently in the wash. That's right, folks. I love true classic shirts. It's a struggle for me as a plus size boy

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Starting point is 00:52:15 I can't wait to get into the rest of them and if you're an odd-sized Gentleman like me or just a regular guy who wants to get beautiful fitting clothes check out true classics right now Go you can unlock big savings when you bundle items site-wide Just go to my exclusive link at true classic comm slash Stavi to save that's true classic comm slash Stavi Shop now and elevate your wardrobe today All right, here's with a hit us with a question here, Eldis. What's going on, stop. What's going on, Eldis? I just left a message, I feel like I can add a little more context.

Starting point is 00:52:51 Stop playing. What's going on, Eldis? I just left a message, I feel like I can add a little more context. So look, my question is, basically I've been on and off with my baby mother for about seven years like we just are not Working we're not we're not really that compatible like as much as we want to be You know we had a kid together and I know that she wants to make it work But I kind of like I have my own place now. I moved out And I just you know, I kind of got my own life now and we went through a messy custody battle over my daughter and You know, it really just caused us to like talk very minimally

Starting point is 00:53:32 We were just you know talking to make sure it basically just make sure things with my daughter good and just recently You know, we kind of reconnected and fucked a couple times and I think now it's kind of gotten into her head where she thinks that Like we're gonna kind of work this thing out for our kid and get back together but I have absolutely no intention of doing that and Yes, you basically asked me if we could go on a vacation out of the country With our daughter and as much as I want to do it I'm feeling like it's probably not the best idea

Starting point is 00:54:06 But at the same time it's like I know I can regulate my feelings Not come back feeling like oh, let's get our family back get like this You know, so I guess I'm really the question is coming from like my regards to how You know the outcome is it even worth it because I know she's probably no Think that after this trip. It's gonna be like a you know I Don't know that things are just gonna change the world magically get back together. Um Yeah, so What do you think is it a good idea like me and her?

Starting point is 00:54:44 Let me know To get pussy from a woman that he likes fucking is insane It's like dude She's getting the wrong idea that we I want to get back together with her all i've done is fuck her a few times and seriously consider going on a International vacation with her. And our daughter. And our daughter.

Starting point is 00:55:07 It's like dude, you're doing family things. Like she's asking you to be in a family and if you go on this vacation, you're basically like, okay yeah. Yeah and telling your daughter like, there's hope here. Right, right, right. Maybe I'll be around more. That's the other thing, it's your daughter man.

Starting point is 00:55:23 It's like, it's one thing to treat, you know, your ex poorly. That's a fucked up thing to do, too Yeah, but like treating your kid getting your kids hopes up because like now look me I know I know I can handle going on this vacation and then immediately going back to fucking other women But my wife and child I don't know if they're strong enough mentally like I am. Like the way he's the way you're shifting this is hilarious. Yeah. You're being a piece of shit. I hate to say it to you buddy. Like it's what look I've never been one of these you know on again off again with a kid situations. I'm sure emotionally it can get fraught and I feel like it happens quite a bit where people do kind of

Starting point is 00:56:07 have an ill advised hook up here and there. Yeah, that's that's not good, but it's not the end of the world. As long as you're he's being very clear to us. I doubt he's being this clear to his ex. You know what I mean? Oh, when he hooked up, it was like, oh, we just did it a couple of times. A couple more times. I'm sure he was saying some things that led her to believe like oh, maybe we should go on vacation right right right exactly

Starting point is 00:56:29 And then when they're cuddling up watching a movie in the hotel yeah with the daughter in between them So great We should be like this all the time. Oh what the fog? We got a ruin a good time We're just on vacation together We're not getting back together and in that scenario. He's like texting on the side the other girls. He's gonna see when he gets back Yeah, yeah So yeah, dude, you can't you can't do this you can't

Starting point is 00:56:58 And again just for your kid, but yeah also just you got to keep the communication clear because Clearly things are messy here. I mean you said you had a custody battle your kid, but also just you gotta keep the communication clear because clearly things are messy here. I mean, you said you had a custody battle and then like, of course, this woman battle. Yeah, right. This woman, if she knew your intentions, right, like you seem to be afraid. You couldn't have talked it out. It's like it went from you needed lawyers to now you're going on vacation

Starting point is 00:57:25 and you don't think that's sending a weird message to her. You can't go on this, you cannot go on this vacation. And in fact, you have to be very clear with her at some point, just for, and honestly, mostly for your kid. Because you don't want her, you have to have a functional, co-parenting relationship with this woman and you will hurt her feelings. You already have kind of laid the groundwork for hurting her feelings.

Starting point is 00:57:51 But you have to like- Seven years of it. Right, right, right, right, right. You have to hurt them once and for all and then say, I don't- If you have no intention of like dating, be like, look, whatever, I really care about you. I want to be the best dad I can to our kid I don't think what we have here is healthy I think it's for the best if we don't hook up if we don't go on vacation if we focus on being friends and

Starting point is 00:58:15 Co-parenting our daughter together. That's what that's what you have to do. You have to stop sleeping with her totally totally the guy Be the be the father exactly and the acquaintance. Yes Yeah, and when you go through dry spells and no one else is having sex with you You don't get to them. You don't know you don't get to send her an old picture and be like I miss this I'm thinking Disney I'm thinking Disney Man this fucking guy it's just so funny to hear the the delusion in his voice I'm like now look I know what's going on here, but she doesn't as if that's her fault If she doesn't because you're lying to her yeah, and she probably is taking care of the kid all the time

Starting point is 00:59:03 Yeah, yeah tough, bro. So yeah, kid all the time. Yeah. Yeah tough, bro So yeah, you can't do this bro. You cannot no no vacation. No vacation. No sleeping with her Yeah, no fucking your baby moms if you don't want to get back together no kissing on the lips You give her on the cheek That's it. That's as far as we're willing to sanction that's as far as we're willing to sanction it down the baby you are going on and how we're going to hold it and team gap uh...

Starting point is 00:59:31 and question for you guys today i've been uh... struggling with this for a little bit i don't know uh... what to think about this the scenario that i mean uh... i've i've been dating this girl for about a year year-and-a-half but we've been on and off. She's been kind of rocky. She, when I met her, she was leaving a like a 10 year long marriage. She's been married to this guy since she was like 17 or 18 or something like that.

Starting point is 01:00:00 She left him because she was, she had been struggling with addiction and she was also like serially cheating on him. Wow, that's an addiction to all of that squash. She has made it very clear to me that like, that's not something she's interested in doing anymore. She can't handle the kind of guilt from doing those kind of things so what's happening what's been happening recently is she's been having dreams that she's cheating on me with somebody else. She didn't want to tell me about these at first but there were tons of people that were cheating on me. And so she ends up telling me... She keeps on cheating! That's brutal.

Starting point is 01:00:45 Alright, keep going. What was going on? And like, I don't know how to feel. Like, is she... You know, should I be concerned? Or should I feel like this is okay? Because she feels guilty enough that she wants to tell me that she feels bad that she's having these dreams.

Starting point is 01:01:06 I don't really know. Any and all advice would be great. Speaking of the addiction thing, she's not using anymore. She's been at her all for a while. Her and I went through a bit of a coke binge phase. I've been clean off of that too. I'm so rough off now. She kind of is as well.

Starting point is 01:01:35 So any and all advice would be great. Thanks, Dobby. I love the show. I hope I don't sound like a dumbass. Don't work me to shreds, please. Thanks, bye. Wild. A lot of stuff you to shreds, please. Thanks. Bye Wild a lot of stuff's going on here, bro

Starting point is 01:01:53 I'd say go to Wisconsin and start over Stop drinking go to a rehab in Wisconsin. Tom's right. Enjoy the lakes for the summer. Yeah. Start getting new identity. Go to trade school. Meet a girl whose idea of going nuts is like she eats a little too much cheese. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I mean, what's he asking ultimately? I don't know honestly. I mean just I guess he claims to ask What do I do? I don't know any and all advice. He doesn't really have a question, right?

Starting point is 01:02:39 I'll just seems like the top question is probably I don't know should he be worried about the cheating dreams or something Well, here's what I will say right anyone who? Yeah, is married at 18 clearly not ready for that Yeah copes with that with an addiction and like serially cheating and then you get then immediately starts dating you And then you get then immediately starts dating you We're joking about starting over, but it's like this is probably a person that needs to fucking a little more self-reflection Right like needs to it's good that she got that she kicked the habit obviously like that's that's big But it sounds like she's still doing Adderall and drinking and like I've abused both of those things And I know your cocaine yeah,. Yeah, yeah, and you're off coke now, I think.

Starting point is 01:03:26 There used to be. They went through a coke phase. But like you can still get plenty fucked up on Adderall and drinking for sure. And so. Is that a combo, you mix them? I used to take Adderall as kind of like cocaine because I didn't really like cocaine.

Starting point is 01:03:42 I didn't trust random cocaine. It just was like hit or miss for me and I was too fat for my heart I was always worried about it yeah so I would when I would go out and party all night I would just be like it just makes you be able to stay up and yes you know smoke weed yeah yeah I would smoke a lot of weed and it would put me to sleep so I would take Adderall so I did that you know so it's easy to abuse those things as well And that's what I mean the dreams it's like Yeah, I don't know man. Maybe she does want to cheat and by the way Maybe she just shouldn't be in a fucking relationship right after a ten year long dysfunctional relationship

Starting point is 01:04:19 Maybe this is someone who never really got to be Young right yeah the way she wanted to because she was in a she was in a marriage which anyone who gets married 18 Some fucked up happens Yeah, I don't know. It's either like an array best case scenario. It's an arranged. Yeah marriage worst case scenario It's like some kind of weird Psychological like use vengali Control over a child who wants to marry an 18 year old. Yeah, hopefully it's no 18 year old Hopefully it's not some weird sweetheart. Hope that's the best you can hope for but even then it's even then it's team is weird Right, so so young

Starting point is 01:04:54 If this and if you're really committed to making this relationship work from the like from our little bird's-eye view perch here It feels like the kind of thing that There's a lot going on you he didn't even get into his own issues Right like he was he's also in that coke binge phase I know he's still drinking like and and the same whatever we're saying about her is probably true of you You might need to figure your shit out, too You're the kind of person that gets into a relationship with somebody who just got done a decade of sucking dick on the side and doing pills. You know?

Starting point is 01:05:26 You know? Like, you know. I hope you're listening to this alone. No judgment, sounds like a fun 10 years. I myself have taken pills and tried to get as much pussy as possible. I know it's a fun time, but I'm just saying no one was rushing to date me after

Starting point is 01:05:47 while I was in that zone, you know? Right. And so I think you guys have some stuff to deal with here and to get out and like it's good that you kick the habit, but it's unclear how much you're drinking, right? Adderall can be a problem. Is she abusing it? It's possible. And so I would say the only real thing here, especially if we don't want to say break up, start over, move to a new town, is like, hopefully you're both in therapy. Hopefully she's definitely in therapy.

Starting point is 01:06:18 Because she's at the very least, she needs to figure out what is the root cause of these dreams. Yeah. You know, and like her guilt, she might have, you know, who knows where a guilt thing comes from. Cheating could come from like, if you have a weird guilt complex, like from your childhood, it can be the thing that's like,

Starting point is 01:06:36 if you got attention when you got in trouble, who knows, right, like, and we don't know, we don't know the, you know, we don't know if this was a fucked up relationship and she just wanted to way out. Like we still don't, we don't know the you know We don't know if this was a fucked up relationship And she just wanted to weigh out like we we still don't we don't really have the context here, right? Yeah, and there needs to be other like all we're talking about is cheating and Drugs right It's like what else do you guys have?

Starting point is 01:06:58 Couple right giving you like how about hiking? Or like we're like working at a dog shelter together like you need something else that you can start to structure your life around because this like will we won't we fuck around on each other or do drugs with or without each other right you've got to break that that's a bad base of a relationship like take all that stuff away what is it based on right right they say how long they've been together really love each other Yeah, like take all that stuff away. What is it based on right? I'm right this how long they've been together. I don't really love each other

Starting point is 01:07:28 That's another thing like I would say like the dreams itself wouldn't be like that much of a red flag Especially if she's like being open about it She said they've only been together for like a year and he said like it's been on and off and kind of rocky It's like a year should be the on part of a longer on the right And kind of rocky it's like a year should be the on part of a longer on the ride That's a great point a year on and off and she's having dreams of cheating on you which by the way She was like on and off means You basically cheated right like on and off means like we weren't technically dating

Starting point is 01:08:06 So when I fucked someone else right off right exactly. It's like I'm sure you would have preferred you were just on yeah So here on and off with all this shit. Yeah Yeah, tough brother. I'm telling you the winters are rough, but Wisconsin is like Fresh faces the Tourism board of Madison. You get a nice canoe. The fly fishing's big. The curd, cheese curds are nice. Cheese curds are nice. Good bakeries. All throughout the country. Frank Lloyd Wright Convention Center down there in Madison.

Starting point is 01:08:34 Frank Lloyd Wright Convention Center. Packers. It's like almost a religion. You got it all, brother. Good luck. Oh man. Year on again off against tough. Yeah that's a great point. What do we got Eldis?

Starting point is 01:08:55 Hey Stavion friends. You mentioned my big fat Greek wedding. I just wanted to ask. How would you or what is your opinion on how the movie portrays pre-culture? Because I kind of really enjoyed it. So, shoot. Thanks, bro. How's it going?

Starting point is 01:09:15 Interesting, interesting. Great movie, big hit. I believe it's the highest grossing independent romantic comedy ever. Of all time it was crazy I mean Neova Dallos a legend it's pretty close I remember when I was when I first saw it I was like I was just annoyed that Joy Fittone was in it because he's Italian when I was like when I was like a kid yeah you know but having grown up and being in the entertainment industry. There's not that many

Starting point is 01:09:45 Greek actors and he does have a similar look but yeah The cousin thing she nailed like everybody being named like Nick. I mean Nick George. It's like, you know I literally grew up with four bills Cousins it's like a little bill bill P fat bill bill D like those were my friends, you know Yeah, she really nails a lot of it Bill, Bill P, Fat Bill, Bill D, like those were my friends, you know? She really nails a lot of it. The one thing, the fact that like, you know, the dad taking everything back to Greek culture, we were just talking about it, we were like Greeks talking about how Sicily was Greek

Starting point is 01:10:17 first and they're literally talking about 4,000 years ago. That was spot on. The one thing that was minorly annoying when it first came out was the Windex thing which was clearly a Quirk of her father or like just something specific to to her family and that like I did get Windex Jokes a lot. It was a huge hit. It was it but but the movie cry. I mean, it was a great I mean the it was a great. I mean, the Windex part of the movie was like, you heard that all the time. And that was confusing.

Starting point is 01:10:49 But hilarious. Yeah. But I guess if you weren't Greek, you'd be like, oh, I guess Greeks love Windex. Right. Not really. It wasn't really like a big, I think that's just her dad. I will say, I'm Albanian.

Starting point is 01:10:59 And my grandma, like we didn't spray Windex on cuts or anything. But she used that as carpet cleaners. She cleaned the windows. We're talking about Greeks here, Eldish. We didn't spray Windex on cuts or anything, but she used that as carpet cleaners. You clean the Talking about Greeks here eldest nice try Nice try trying to weasel your way into a superior culture and people but doesn't matter But so you thought it was a pretty good representation. Oh, yeah, yeah, you got a feeling of I mean that's what being Greek is Yeah, then there's feeling of I mean, that's what being Greek is like that

Starting point is 01:11:25 And there's a reason it was that successful move right if they didn't nail it Yeah, cuz it was like truly a phenomenon out of nowhere Yeah, and it and I think the reason is it nailed Greek culture But then also just like it nails just immigrant stuff in general where it's like even if we have different quirks You see like that is what it's like It's like even if we have different quirks you see like that is what it's like Family thing like it is really it really translates across cultures Yeah, and I think a lot of that's what I've learned growing up to is like I get along really well with a lot of First-generation immigrants from everywhere right you know like it doesn't matter where it's like that is a that is a unique experience that

Starting point is 01:12:01 Bought and you know America is a nation of immigrants, so it's like it really, I think that's why it crushed it so hard. But Nia, come on the pod, dream guest, actually. We gotta start, we gotta make that happen. I ran into her in a chicken wing place during the Super Bowl. You should have plugged the pod. Yeah, she's the best. She's's really great and that was her story like didn't she started as like a one-person show yeah yeah yeah and then no no that's the

Starting point is 01:12:32 other thing as a success story of like entertainment it's like that's be like beautiful yeah it's like she worked so hard on it she it is her story it is basically like what her life it's cut it's based on her life and like she worked it she worked it is a i think one woman show uh... work the kinks out and then like got you know in time hanks coming yet it was uh... news that it was and yet his uh... uh... run out of it and i was yes i'm excited read willson's greek so

Starting point is 01:13:03 so she saw i think she saw the one the one-woman show or the stage Whatever was it was some kind of thing that she was working out. Yeah, she's like this is great And so that's it It's like work on something good over and over again instead of like trying to figure but then sometimes I worry about I mean every Generation things change like people are probably putting a lot of effort into like social media stuff right now But that's a great example just like make something good as shit I know and it's the same thing with like you see I mean Rockies kind of like that the thing right Chas Palminteri It's almost exactly you know that was a one-man show

Starting point is 01:13:38 Yeah, so just like that's as a but she was particularly like just working on her shit and just figuring it out and that's that's cool because it can be really tough you know when you like you know especially act like we talk about again stand-up we're lucky that are our threshold for what's acceptable so low right because we could be like I'll just go do stand-up but it does give you something to do yeah whereas actors it's like you just kind of have to wait and so she made her own thing and it was fucking hilarious.

Starting point is 01:14:06 Amazing. Yeah, it got Greek people out to the art. They're showing it at the Art House Theater in Baltimore. It was the first time any of those uncultured Greeks had ever been there. We took over the Charles that day. Here's with another one, Big LD. LD. Here's with another one big LD LD yo stop so I'll go right to chase I've been with my girlfriend for about coming up on a year and a half now it's great like I absolutely love her amazing there's just one issue. She has like awful road rage. Like it's so weird because she never gets angry outside of when we're in the car. And it's not just when she's driving.

Starting point is 01:14:57 Like she'll get really mad when I'm driving and she'll like. Whoa, passenger road rage. It makes me really uncomfortable it's like beef gets angry outside of the vehicle thing so I just don't know what's going on like I don't know if that's like her one place so I get everything out I wish that it was a less dangerous place to get everything out but I mean I just I want to kind of talk to her and you know maybe see if she's interested in therapy I don't even know if she I mean I'm sure she realized that

Starting point is 01:15:35 she does this to some extent but like I don't know if she's like super aware of how it makes me feel and stuff like that. So I just want to see what this is about, I guess, and maybe see if she'd be willing to talk to someone about it. Maybe me or a therapist. I don't know. I don't know if this is deep-seated rage issues or something like that. He really is. You can hear how tentative his voice is. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:08 She honks a lot and she'll stomp on her breaks and stuff like that. Try to hook people over and cut people off. It's pretty intense. I don't want her to get shot 40 times by some fucking crazy person or get me shot 40 times. So I mean, you know, I don't, how do I bring this up with her? Thanks, Todd. Hmm. That's interesting. This level of out of nowhere road rage is interesting because I will admit that sometimes it bubbles up for me because I have anger problems, right? Like that's something I've worked on. Like my you know you just come from a you kind of come from anger and violence like it does

Starting point is 01:16:49 come out and I will say it will come out and and I don't I don't cut people off I don't like stomp on the brakes but I feel myself getting fucking pissed on the road especially if I'm running late you know it's compounded by that stuff. But so to me, this does feel like a little bit of an iceberg thing where it's like, there's the road rage at the tippy top that you can see, and underneath there might be some fucking real rage issues. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:16 You guys ever have any, you have any road rage? I'm not that bad with it. My father is, my father is is my kids would imitate when they were little that would imitate my father driving. Dickhead, dickhead, dickhead, dickhead. He says it as soon as he puts the car in reverse out of the driveway. You see beef, Ali Wongs? I haven't seen it yet actually no. I would say start there. Watch that with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she has road rage, Ali has road rage, and this other guy has road rage.

Starting point is 01:17:51 And you're right, there's real undercurrent of stuff that they're not aware of that is really eating them up and they don't even, they don't acknowledge it and they're freaking out and they become obsessed with each other and they start fighting with each other and they start like the fighting with each other yeah it's I would just pop that on the first episode really and just be like it would be a great way to break the ice with her yeah yeah yeah that's interesting yeah you do you ever reach not really I'm more of a like I'm on my phone a lot when I drive

Starting point is 01:18:27 You cause road rage That is true. I you are looking down It's fucking annoying when elders elders just be like driving straight looking at his phone trying to find the right song It's not even like anything important sometimes. I do get annoyed when I'm in the fast lane on the highway and like Someone's behind me, and I'm like okay the speed limit 65 I'm already like going fucking 80 and they're still like antsy to pass me so when they try to pull that shit I'm like that just annoys me so I'm trying to be fucking Yaris you shouldn't be in the fucking fast lane your car is shaking at 80 miles an hour it's not meant to have that you alone almost push it to the limit when me you were both driving it it's not meant to have that you alone almost push it to the limit when

Starting point is 01:19:05 me you were both dry in it it's fucking impotent the car is this far off the ground yeah that actually now you're you literally are the person who gives me road rage because get the fuck out of the way 80 your car can't go further my fucking car can do 85 why do I have to fucking get stopped at 80 because the fucking you eldest Get to the right get to the fucking right pop over when you see me And here's the thing when I when I'm going at my limit and there's someone cruising behind me like a gentleman I go to the fucking right where I don't fucking slow everybody down because I'm a prick in my shitty Toyota You know what I'm saying? I just say when someone's like really on my nuts. It's like sure when you get when you give me too many

Starting point is 01:19:49 Flashes it's like I see what's going on. You have no chance to even get over right? Yeah, let me get around this guy then you might trigger an eldest response for me. We're now I'm gonna be like oh really I Was gonna do this, but I guess you have to swerve four lanes to pass me now, you fucking idiot. So yeah, clearly we all know road rage pretty well. Elders just describing his annoying habits kinda got me worked up. My friend's father, I remember in high school,

Starting point is 01:20:21 because my father was so volatile behind the wheel, and my buddy's father was just so like chill, and he would let all those assholes around, and it was just like, it was kind of mellow. Which is how you should be by the way. Which is how you should be. It doesn't matter, we're talking about max, you're saving three minutes. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:20:40 Max! Exactly. It's crazy, on a short drive, it's different on a road trip maybe, but what's the matter, yeah, anyway, sorry. Yeah, no on a short drive. You're not it's different on a road trip. Maybe yeah, what's the matter? Yeah? Yeah, sorry Yeah, no, you're right. It's just there's no sense to it But if you wait, it's hard to like and I'll try and Conjure up that Zen. It's hard though driving and just kind of like to be chill, but there's so many violent assholes Yeah, yeah, yeah that you literally when you feel threatened. Yeah, you feel like lashing out totally it's yeah And it's also there is a there is an element here of like gender politics where you almost

Starting point is 01:21:12 I wonder if this is for him where it's like you don't want your girlfriend to think you're a pussy Do you know what I mean words? I were you're like hey like if flip the genders here It's actually kind of an easy fix. Yeah, where it's like you're like, hey, flip the genders here. It's actually kind of an easy fix. Where it's like, you're making me feel unsafe. You're being, like if a girlfriend ever told that to me, and I felt like an idiot when I've had people in the car and I've behaved that way. It's like that really makes you feel like a fucking dumbass.

Starting point is 01:21:37 And if I've ever had a girlfriend say something, I would be like, this is my anger. I am a fucking idiot. I need to chill. But like he's in there with like a woman that he just kind of doesn't want to be like like like Babe like I don't feel safe right now, and it's true. He's not being unrealistic, but it even me saying yeah Yeah, I heard it get shot. He doesn't want her to get shot. He doesn't want to get shot. So I think you just kind of have to let her know.

Starting point is 01:22:08 You have to communicate this. It's pretty funny to bring that up. It's like, why don't you check this out? It's a great example. The whole pilot is such a great example of road rage and then seeing what... Oh no, this goes deeper. I mean that is a little bit of the danger here

Starting point is 01:22:27 Totally is that what's lurking underneath? Yeah? You're gonna pick at that scab drawing that higher right it could be but it sounds reasonable every other way Yeah, that sounds like it's working because the thing with road rage that I think is that No, you're just allowed to feel it. You know what I mean? You're usually in the car by yourself. And I think a lot of times people have no other outlet. You can't really yell at anyone. You know what I mean? Especially in America today, it's like,

Starting point is 01:22:54 you can't lose your job, you're fucked. You know what I mean? You can't yell at a boss, you can't yell at a client, whatever it is. So like, yeah exactly, Unless you have some outlet, I feel like a lot of people, a lot of people just commute and go to sleep and go to work. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:12 And it's like, so I don't know, what were you gonna say, Aldous? I think a place he gets start too is like, yeah, it's one thing if you just have road rage on your own when you're driving, but like, her being in the passenger seat and honking the horn when he's driving. That's insane. That's crazy That's too much. So I think that's a great way to like what the fuck in the conversation be like hey

Starting point is 01:23:31 Could you not do that? See but the thing is he's already let it slide like she's clearly outflying him here You know what I mean? Where's like he's let it slide a couple times where it's like imagine somebody doing that to you Like imagine your girlfriend you're like what the fuck is your problem like are you crazy like that that's your immediate reaction where he's just kind of yeah they have he has just kind of swallowed this a couple times but you know what I think you're right I think even still the best time to have the conversation is immediately when it happens the second best time is like as soon as you can do it yeah so the quicker you do this the better another way to go is take her for a ride and you lose your shit yeah like really go nice

Starting point is 01:24:14 fucking so horny she's like yeah babe just got a gun like I've been waiting for this best that she's ever done you wanna go for a ride haha uh... uh... uh... well good luck buddy you got your deal with the potential to take care of that we believe in you how about one more good one for the road all this what do you think you got some for us

Starting point is 01:24:58 what about the truth uh... one of the philly airplane brother uh... around about a couple years ago which they've already called in before I know, they've called in before, I remember them yeah first time calling in listen, so I'm a professional musician

Starting point is 01:25:14 and every couple years I have to deal with the heckler out of the audience sure do you have any advice on how to deal with that? also just keep in mind that as a musician you're sort of trying to nurture unity and bring people together so... Like you. The fuck am I trying to do? Is a really bad look.

Starting point is 01:25:31 Thanks a lot. Is it... is it really a bad look if someone's being a dickhead? Yeah. I don't know. You get the whole crowd to turn against them. Yeah, that's so fun. Seems like justice. They're being the dickhead by heckling you.

Starting point is 01:25:46 How do you deal with a heckler as a musician? Well, the thing musicians have that I am jealous of is that you can just play your fucking instrument. Yeah, volume. Yeah crank it on. Like I don't understand. I guess he's probably playing some acoustic shit or something. Right. I think they said they were jazz musicians if I remember the clip Oh, so they should be who heckles Let's say I think it's like what are we talking about here? Okay, if you're a jazz musician who's in a place where you can get heckled

Starting point is 01:26:26 You gotta get better gigs, brother You're not if people are wearing suits listening to you If you're in the corner of a seafood restaurant and some guy wants you to stop playing the fucking oboe So he can just watch the hockey game watch the hockey game. You know what I mean? Like. Yeah. Boom.

Starting point is 01:26:49 Shut the fuck up. Let's go Rangers. Somebody play some Jimmy Buffett. Come here to listen to this shit. Yeah, I mean, I'd love to. We're trying to create unity. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I know.

Starting point is 01:27:03 I know. That's the nurture unity and bring people together. I was like, yeah Well, look man, you didn't really get the advice you wanted but it was fun But we're having a really good time. That's what's important. Boo. Yeah, man. Nice try, Miles. Good luck out there.

Starting point is 01:27:39 You know, hopefully you're a Coltrane. Thanks for coming to the show. Hope to see you boys in Philly next time good luck Tom thanks for coming man this was so great yeah really fun thank you anytime you want to come back let us know he's the best I'm gonna leave the cannolis in the fridge and what happens to them happens to them eldest you're gonna have to take them out of the house. Sure, maybe I'll see what's up. Yeah. All right, Tom, thanks again, guys. Listen to Breaking Bread with Papa, and we will talk to you soon.

Starting point is 01:28:13 Bye bye. Bye!

Stavvy's World - #90 - Tom Papa

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