Stavvy's World - #91 - Jay Jurden

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Jay Jurden joins the podcast to discuss growing up in Mississippi, misconceptions about his home state, Bill Clinton's running shorts, Obama's hooping style, getting flamed up by gay bullies, gay dudes dressing like union workers now, big pants being back in fashion, and much more. Jay and Stav help callers including a guy who's addicted to seeing sex workers, and a woman whose husband hasn't brushed his teeth in years. Visit https://mintmobile.com/stavvy to get a 3-month premium wireless plan for just $15/month. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/stavvy50 and use code STAVVY50 to get 50% off Factor's delicious, ready-to-eat meals -- plus 20% off your next month. Grow your business right now at Shopify -- no matter what stage you're in. Sign up for a  $1/month trial at https://www.shopify.com/stavvy Follow Jay Jurden on social media: https://jayjurden.komi.io/ https://www.instagram.com/jayjurden https://www.tiktok.com/@jayjurden   https://x.com/jayjurden Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Welcome everybody to Stavisworld 904 800 stop. Call in, we'll solve your problems. We got my boy Jay Jordan on the couch. Hello, hello. What's up Jay? How you doing buddy? Doing well. Happy Pride month. Yeah? I can't wait dude. Yeah. Shout out. What a great time. This will come out probably in August. Yeah. But right now it is- But you can do gay shit then too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, it is August, but me and Eldest were sucking each other off. Just to make Jay feel more at home. Every time I say I'm thankful for the Greeks, for getting homosexuality, I'm grateful for lemon on meat. That's right. I'm grateful for statues.

We came up with a lot of great stuff. Mykonos! They were doing... I'm gonna go to Mykonos just to celebrate. You should go. That is true, man. I mean, look, even if you're homophobic, right? Just the amount of joy Greek inventions have brought to people, just from a generated happiness in the world

gay shit has made a lot of people really happy even bigger than okay yeah fraternities in general the amount of gay shit you have to do to hang out with your straight friend it's a layers to this and hanging out that's the thing it's like that's a Greek Greek culture is so It really is the best like every summer I get and I mean real Greek shit cuz that that would always piss me off the fraternity stuff cuz they just it was basically just Weird little clubs that took Greek letters. Yeah, and they were it really was a little too like It was it was like you can say it. They're doing Greek face was a little too like it was it was like you can say they're doing Greek face they were doing Greek face yeah and it was like because it was like racist very

everything's like starts at a southern college yeah it's like KKK Jason they got the robes back when that was just like a secret club had those robes and the only ones that you found out about was the KKK So I feel like it's just a little too. I don't like the Greek letters are involved in all that shit You know I did I was in fraternity in college I remember when they brought the robes out everyone was like what the fuck is going on you can't even talk about this Thank you cut from oh, no. It's on the pot. I don't give a fuck. They can suck my dick They can suck my dick The weird that's the thing it's like I went to such a lame school that it was like there wasn't any real

Wait, where'd you go? I went to UMBC. Okay, version in Baltimore County We break it down to the county to the county level dude Yeah University of Maryland Baltimore County. Yeah, you're booked there. You didn't get enrolled level dude yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it was such a bullshit school but I got I it was the only school I got a scholarship at and I couldn't live at home so no academic yeah I was like yeah Jake and tell Jake and tell I'm a Finally, so who respects my athletic prowess? Wow I took that seriously immediately it didn't even take me one second You were like so close to me like, well you know I'm actually... I did play Jay, thank you for seeing.

Of course I was a starting nose tackle, but no, it was actually my academics that did it. I had that summer where like, you're in middle school, you're like, man what if I grow up and I become an NBA player? And you have that one summer where all your friends get to be like 6'1". Right. You're like, oh, it's not me. Dude. I was not chosen. I remember tryouts for high I played middle school basketball. Yeah. And you go to high school and it's like I got cut like before anyone even tied their shoe. Like they blew the whistle

and they're like jog around the court once and then they blow together like you you you out. It was just every short How how you pronounce it is how keys how key is your out? Yeah, dude It was fast me and all the other fat short kids Just like in hitting the cafeteria getting one of those little pizzas this little personal cafeteria pizzas I love I love a fat point guard though a fun. Oh, yeah If you're like running like a pickup game and there's like a shorter like rounder Dude, who's like a floor general love that? Somehow behind the back pass even though their arms are fat and stubby

That's awesome and not fast but like quick now not fast down the court. No one jab step away Yeah, yeah agile. Yes. No that was my playing style was a lot of my street. I pick up style was a lot of a lot of picks because I weighed 300 pounds. Right. So it's like even like a six five guy who's like 200. They would just run into me like a fucking wall. It felt awesome. Yeah.

And then yeah, a lot of a lot of little a little ad before my knee before, you know, the weight of your knees, what you do to your body. Cause I, yeah, I was, I definitely, that was my, that was my move. We're at that age where we can start doing the old man tricks. It's happening, dude.

To the kids at the Y. Oh yeah, pulling the chair. Yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. A lot of bounce passes. You can go, look at that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude, I can't wait to, have to I've set a fitness goal after I tore my planner fascia at the skanks fest basketball

tournament I Decided I need to lose Were a lot more injury. I was the only obvious one. Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah, it was no Ari Shafir walked away unscathed Steve ran is easy walked away unscathed. It was just me Brendan Sagalow somehow didn't even get injured, but it was just me I was like I gotta lose a hundred pounds before I played basketball again, and I'll tell you something Jay We haven't quite made it to that But I have to because I can't let skanks fest be the last time I played pickup hoops I used to love it dude. That was my favorite shit in the world

What were the what was what was the team breakdown at the tournament? Yeah, that was who was how do you like go is the east-west is it like it was all podcasters? Oh, yeah It was like a it was supposed to be come town, but they didn't go so as a so I think Lewis Just found two black guys Yeah, and the joke was oh this is come down it's me and two black guys so I was just playing pickup with two guys I didn't know and We didn didn't even win, which sucked. They were like, they were tall too. They were like six foot.

Yeah, you were like, Lewis, how'd you screw this up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But which is a funny bit. It's one of those things that's funny in theory. And then it's like, well, I have to play a whole tournament with like these guys I don't really know. I didn't want to play it. I should have just not done it.

They started telling you heartwarming stories. You're like,warming stories are like I'm actually playing for my son. Yeah Yeah, they need they need this yo kratom prize money to take back But yeah, dude, I can't let that be the final the final time I play pickup who I got a court super close to my house But these kids these New York teams. They're scary I believe they will take your basketball. They also are like mean before you get to the court So then you're like in your 30s with your ball and you're like actually I'm good I'm just gonna shoot by myself

Stay away from me. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't want, no, sorry. Play two on two. Yeah, yeah. You're not picking me up for an extra one. Go over there. There was, we were so grown up in Baltimore, there was one, he happened to be a family friend of Eldest.

There was one Eastern European, like, he must, at the time, what was he, 50? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's probably in his 50s. Yeah, this guy in his 50s playing with like 13 year old city kids. It was so funny. And he would like yell at us and he would like, you know, get in his face. That man became Luca. Yeah. He had a very euro style. You can allow your own.

They can lie about how old they are when they come over here. Yeah, we'll never know how old Pesac Toyakovic actually was. Luca's actually a 70 year old Serbian that Elders family would have Thanksgiving with sometimes. I have a bit now where I talk about how like I know progress is real because we have good white NBA players again. And then like crowds at like comedy shows to get excited. And I go, whoa, not regular white, not American,

Eastern European whites, war torn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you need you need a little trauma, you need something to get you out of it. Yeah. And you need like there's a difference in European and American racism. Yes. You know what I mean? European racism is more combative. You know what I mean? European racism is more combative. You know what I mean?

Where it's like, it's just like nationalism, where it's like, we're better than you because we're better than everyone. Not like American, which is like, we're scared of you, but we're also going to ruin your life secretly. You know? That's American racism. Whereas like, those war torn euros, they're not scared of black dudes in the same way. This is how I know European conflicts are intense.

I should know where Kosovo is. Yeah. But like I grew up I was like they stay fighting over there. Yep. Shout out to Bill Clinton. No. Is he coming? Yeah friend of the show Billy C. You know what I mean? He don't listen he wasn't on that island Man who knows what other you think he's like pissed that he had to do like other more low-key pedophile shit now Where it's like you must have been like he's mad. He's playing the pedophile B room. Yeah Yeah, it's like it's like they're in Marriott's. They're not in like a beautiful island He has to go to some fucking shitty ballroom where it's like hey man look we got to lay low We can't do better by another pizza place, okay? Fuck I'm tired of pepperoni

Man, yeah, dude. You know he thought he was gonna. Just sail into his golden pedophile years on the island poor guy golden pedophile years on the island. Poor guy. Sale in the. It was kind of like sunset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, oh, man, I was going to be first gentleman. That's where you can fuck kids on the plane on Air Force One. Yeah. I but I do feel like I feel like Hillary would have poisoned him.

I feel like I feel like if he got to the point where we're so messy if she was president there would have been like I got Netflix drama kind of scene where like we see him in the hospital and she pulls the plug that'd be awesome No, no, you're right that would it that it is kind of fucked up We didn't get president Hillary to see how evil she would have been, you know We never got to see the full secret No, she was just they were just killing people where he was governor of Arkansas Imagine what they would have done if they got second chance at the White House, dude After Bush gave him all that spying apparatus, dude

Man Hillary with all of Bush's spying. Would have been awesome. Okay, now, since we're talking about it. Let's get into it, baby. Imagine wanting to be governor of Arkansas so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you're like, we gotta get rid of her. These reporters from the Little Rock Tribune,

they're talking a little bit too much. She's gotta go, That bitch with the crimped hair that my husband got head from she's gotta go spelunking Beautiful hilarious He was also so fat back then It's funny to see people start being evil before they reach their final form. He was, he like they made fun of him for being fat. People who weren't alive during the 90s don't know this. They like made fun of him for being fat. So then like he won this fitness kick where like he'd be going on walks and like short shorts and stuff. Yeah he would do like campaign stuff. Yeah which is wild because if it was right now he'd be like yeah I'm fat what's up. Yeah yeah

well he wasn't even that fat. This is the 90s. This is when George Costanza was right now, he'd be like, yeah, I'm fat. What's up? Yeah. Yeah. Well, he wasn't even that fat That's the 90s when George Costanza was the fattest man alive So clean cuz he was not look at it was just a little punch He had him out bro, yeah, yeah the thighs The president had one inch inseams bro, it's nuts right now Wow, those are the shorts that like they put on American peril models when they were going to assault them He's put on Terry Richardson shorts, bro Those are like rapist photographers make you wear those and the press literally he's putting on Terry Richardson shorts, bro. Those are like rapist photographers make you wear those.

And the president, literally he's, okay, we're looking at a picture where he's jogging with the army. Everyone has longer shorts in the army than him. Except one woman. Oh wow, I'm not even gonna lie. He had them things out, the gams. The gams were out. And they're not that good.

They're not that good. But like a president can't do that now. No. Obama, remember Obama was hooping and like tucked in long sleeves and long pants. We talk about old hoopers. He tucked in shirt, long Adidas pants. Yes, yes, yes. They couldn't even mic him up because you know he said nigga a couple times. Hey! You know he did. Oh, he had to. If I'm Obama, if I really want to throw up my opponent, I'm getting real street real fast. There it is, right there, the third one.

Yes, absolutely, that's true. And you know what he should do? Whisper it into a white guy's ear. Cause he would never believe, no one, like dude, Obama called me the N word. No one is gonna believe you, man. He calls you a neoliberal? No, no, no, no.

He called me the old N-word. You know, the one we were calling him. He called me. The classic one. God. Classic stuff. Yeah. Oh, he's wearing some shorts in that one, I guess. But he's tucked. He's got it.

He's got lift. But he does have that old guy style where he lifts his knees up too much. Yeah. Tux is Tux's. And tons of like mid range jumpers. Yeah. He's got he's also coaching you. He's telling you he's trying to set plays. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is pure Isoball. OK, man, I don't care.

Yeah, it's so funny. Yeah, I wonder. I mean, it's funny because Obama. So you know, the Clintons got up to whatever the fuck they were doing. But then Obama just was like, yeah, I'm going to go hang glide with a billionaire as soon as I get out of office. And then he just like started making documentaries. He started a production company. It's like, come on, man.

That is the sad part about being a comedian. Because you know what happens? They go, oh, Stav Stavi when you make it you gotta get a special you gotta get a tv show you gotta get a production company and you go obama has a production company why do i want a production company what do i gotta take a meeting with obama what which by the way i will michelle if you're listening uh madam first lady i love i love a general whatever whatever production company y'all got going on. I have so many stories I want to tell about being a queer person of color from the south.

There you go. And how it's not a big deal to drone every once in a while. How it's okay to treat yourself to a droning from time to time. You can have a little cheat wedding explosion. When you're feeling good. We're so fucked, man. It's hilarious. Yeah, they don't have the address here, right? No, no, no. We keep it moving.

We're actually on a run. An eight run. A this podcast happens on an 18 wheeler that's driving circles around Baltimore city. We constantly, you know, we're avoiding detection because our ideas are too dangerous because our ideas are too dangerous. Because our political commentary, the powers that be are scared of it. I was, I was in Baltimore and by that I mean I was on an Amtrak that was going back to New York from DC a couple of weeks ago.

Beautiful place. Love it, man. I love it. Love it. The two stops that we made, they seem nice. BWI and Baltimore Penn Station, bro. Yeah, it. Love it. The two stops that we made, they seem nice. No, BWI and Baltimore Penn Station, bro. Yeah, it's great stuff. I mean, you grew up in, I would argue,

a shittier place than Baltimore. Yeah, Mississippi? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We take the title, yeah. Mississippi, it was fun because you don't know anything else. So I'm just like a young little kid with my mom and my grandma and my siblings. And like when people they'd be like, oh, I miss to be crazy.

I'd be like, there's a lot of grass. I don't know if it's crazy. Yeah. But then you move or you go any place else and they tell you what they think of Mississippi and you go, Oh, that's terrible. Yeah. That's incredibly hurtful to me and my people. What? That's what y'all have been saying about us. Yeah. But it was.

It wasn't set up just a big ass house. So it was like it was a house. It was some country shit. So it was like a house in my granddad built and then like the house kind of like right next to it was where my great grandmother lived. So we kind of had like a little like that corner of like the street was like our house, my great grandma's house and then my like cousin like Her like, you know, I mean you have older cousins, but you just from like ants like that

Like my aunt like Linda she had a house and her daughter and so like we were all there I'm so with you because I don't know why American people it's an American thing to call like your I guess parents Cousin. Yeah, or like your parents like set there your second cousin. Yes, like no, they guess, parents, cousins, or like your parents, like they're your second cousin, when it's like, no, they're my aunt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like I always found that weird. I just kind of respect they become,

they get placed in like, auntie territory. Because Greek people call them, straight up call them aunt. Like, we have no, there's no difference. Like, you have to go like three or four levels of family. Cause like, I don't know, I, like Greek people, cousins, you're so close. you know yeah cousins are like everyone getting the picture all the cousins stop picking your nose yeah yeah yeah taking the

picture yes yes yes exactly so basically I'd like a little family compound yeah it was it was fun I mean like I we had to go. I went to church all the time, Sundays, then twice on Sundays. And then on Monday, there was like this like kind of like thing that they like. You go play basketball at the church rec center and like got food and like they'd also like be like, oh, there's stuff on Wednesday for the kids. And my mom will go to Bible study on Wednesdays. So like she was going to church a lot. And then my mom was a teacher in kind of like a school district

that was better than the one we lived in. So she got us to go that one with her. So I was always around her, which was like nice. Yeah. But also that makes you gay. Oh, yeah, I was going to say that. Yeah., listen, moms, if you love your boys too much, it might make them queer. If you don't love your daughters enough, it will make them fun for men later on. It's a very, very delicate balance, you know?

And then if you have moms that really love you, you need a dad that's sort of in the picture that just takes enough of your self-esteem away, and then what you'll get is sensitive guys who still are technically straight. Yeah, like me and eldest We're straight even though we had moms who were the only people that loved us like a very non Well, this gets back to like and you talk about in your special a little bit Being like folded into whiteness as Greek people is like jarring cuz like you'll be like I'm not white like y'all I have a different Easter For sure, but we can go so I don't know we go it's y'all are on. For sure. But we eating goats, I don't know.

Goats great by the way. We like lamb, whatever. Lamb's awesome, goat's great. Tuna, whatever y'all are eating, that ain't us. Hey Jay, can I stop you right there? I'd love to tell you and our listeners about the easiest way to get wireless for 15 bucks a month with the purchase of a three month plan.

That's right, I'm talking Mint Mobile, baby. Mint Mobile. Get started, go to mintmobile.com slash Davi. There you'll see that right now, all three month plans are only 15 bucks a month, including the unlimited plan. Now that's a bargain 15 a month, are you kidding me? All plans come with high speed data

and unlimited talk and text, delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number with you, come on. You know how it's incredibly easy to switch to Mint Mobile? It's a lot easier than getting your producer to do his job, I'll tell you that much, because you'll notice folks, I'm in the studio,

but I'm not using the expensive cameras I paid for, because Eldest decided to take his fourth vacation in three months. You'd think maybe he'd work around my schedule, but no, he has to go to North Carolina. He's very stressed out and needs to take a load off, even though he took a vacation four weeks ago. If only getting your Albanian producer to do his job

was as easy as switching to Mint Mobile, then this would be a much higher quality ad read, because I'd be using my expensive microphones and cameras. But that's neither here nor there, folks. Luckily, legitimately, our friends at Mint Mobile have given us a business line that starting in a week or two, Eldis will have to have on him at all times and have to answer at all times. And we will avoid these kinds of snafus in the future.

Can't wait to give you our firsthand experience with the Mobile line. So to get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash stavi. That's mintmobile.com slash stavi. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month

at mintmobile.com slash stavi, S-T-A-V-V-Y. 45 bucks upfront payment required, equivalent to 15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees and restrictions applied. Cement Mobile for details. So like.

It feels a little different. Of course. And I think like growing up in Mississippi and then I went to Ole Miss for undergrad. I'm wearing camo right now. I love it. You know, just shout out to Mississippi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is just how every queer person in Bushwood. It's back. It's like big pants.

It look gay guys are wearing now. You want to know what happened? Please. I shouldn't even tell you this. Thank you so much. We only talk about it at the meeting. I've been I've literally been curious. Oh, please tell me how it happened. OK, we saw the power that Lesbians were leveraging and we realized smart queer men need to start dressing guys. Get it back We're still misogynist

Each other off we were like, wait a second. These lesbians are looking mighty comfy We've been over here dressing tight. Uh-uh. Fix it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we started every... And clothing comes in cycles. Of course. But, like, queer men are dressing like they're in unions now.

Right, right. And some, like, straight men, like, especially UK straight men still wearing, like, the skinny shit. Yeah. Like, we look at them, like, we're like, kind of faggy. Yeah, we look at them like we're like British British British straight guys are dressing Dominican now, I don't know when that happened, but it's like British guys like Oh, I'm going full point and they're like wearing a tight polo with jeggings and they look fucking Dominican It's fucking crazy. Um You need to get to a T-Mobile?

I don't know. Bro? God. Can I get some more minutes on my phone? Yeah. So like, that's kind of like what's going on with like queer fashion. Also, like, 2000 stuff is like coming back hard. For sure, for sure. Because they're like, people are really trying to figure it out.

Like now, like if you see a guy in like big pants, he's probably gay or just like fashion aware. If you see a guy and we like tricked a lot of straight guys in the wear and skinny jeans. Right. Right. Right. We made everyone like for 10 years, it was like, make your pants fit. Make your pants. Absolutely. And the minute we got the last straight man in like a flyover state, we were like, OK, is that everyone?

They're out. It's call it, call it. Yeah, you're right. You're right, it was like flyover state and then like literal bloods and crips. We're wearing the tightest jeans you've ever seen in your life. I've been to Atlanta, stop. Yeah, you're right. I live in a little baby world, like the tightest jeans with like the chunkiest Balenciaga.

And you're just like, why is every man in Atlanta dressed like an aunt? Why are we doing this? I know. Yeah, I have to, I really, I just, I like a classic, dress the same forever. You do, you do something that I appreciate, which has caught on and more people need to know about it. Short sleeve button up. Yeah, yeah, sure.

Comfortable pants. Comfy pants, brother. New balance. Yes. And that's like DMV shit, but also just like, once you're in your 30s, this isn't trendy. I'm gonna be wearing these when they out. This is absolutely, no.

I know you think, oh, you're about to. No, they stand. They're fully staying. It's the Fat Guy uniform of summertime. Hawaiians, Hawaiians. And like, look, there's a little maybe my pants will be this much tighter when it's cool for them to be tighter. And maybe now I might start looking for a little bit of a looser hand. But we're talking like on the margins.

We're shifting. And like, you know, maybe I'll try a different shoe But I doubt it cuz I I have insoles now, you know, I need the worst I'm not taking them out and put them in a fucking loafer. I'm wearing my newbies, baby Yeah I'm an advocate for finding your uniform. But then again, it has to be it's a specific thing. It's very you have to find your look and stick to it.

And what's tough is that like even even if you find a new look, the first time your boys see you, it is at one point, at one point earlier this year, I tweeted out, happy coming out day to all of my queer siblings and any guy trying a new outfit for the first time in front of his friends. Because straight men, the minute you change one thing, they go, hey man, what's up? You know the country western Sula got it a couple times? This motherfucker started coming out.

And look, that's a good look, but we had to shit on him for changing, you know You know, I had to get some me Wranglers on eBay Vintage Wranglers Why it works you're like a taller dude women now they've been watching a lot of Yellowstone Do you think you think it was his idea or his wife's to dress that way? It was never, the shift did not happen because of Elvis. Women, yeah, straight girls, they will,

what happens is they'll watch a man on TV and they'll like start squirming on the couch. They'll be like, what's going on? They'll be like, hey honey, you need to start looking like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So whenever I close my eyes, eyes is not that big of a jump Yeah, dude, and they did love Yellowstone. I still need to get me a cowboy hat. That's true

Yeah, there's I mean there a real cowboy hat. I know some that's some coin That's the man Jackson hold a good sturdy. Yeah crazy. They're like a few hundred. Yeah, and people will be like Oh, I have like a couple couple different colors I'll be like just for a cat. We can't even wear that inside Fucking ruffy and he doesn't You coming in the town guns a blade. Yeah, he's never taken off his black hat Yeah, I guess I always do think of Mississippi as fully like barefoot. You're wearing you're wearing a fucking you're wearing fucking like canvas.

You know what I mean with a rope belt. Hey, in some parts of the Delta, you're not wrong. I mean, like, it's wild because there are parts of it that are so Destitute that they'll be like, oh my gosh God answered our prayers. We're finally getting a dollar general. Yeah Yeah, you'll be like what? Yeah, you know, you can't buy anything fresh there Fresh canned stuff you don't get it. Yeah, you don't get it after it's been through everything. You don't have to take a layer of dust away from it. When you go to your grocery store and the canned goods expire that same year,

you can't be in that grocery store anymore. Cause that means they got them a few years ago. Oh yeah, they've been through the ringer a couple times for sure. Yes. I mean, I grew up in Mississippi. I went to high school there. My high school, it was like 80 percent black and then like 20 percent cool white kids because like you when you go when you're like a white kid that goes to like a school like in Jackson, which is the capital.

Like if you if you're in public school, by the time you get to high school, your parents are like, no, they can take it. No, dude. Fully, nah, they can take it. No, dude, fully. You know, Baltimore. Everyone, like they had all so many Greek kids went to Catholic school, which we are not Catholic because they were like, well, literally a war where the churches were like, that ain't the shit we're up. There's an ecumenical schism

that their parents decided to ignore just so they wouldn't be around black kids. Like that was literally like we grew up around so many people that were like wow we gotta send our kids to private school but we went to pub I mean and you'd see them go broke this happens in Louisiana and Alabama and Mississippi you'd see like these like lower middle class white families go broke having to send their kids to like private school all throughout like from middle school through high school. And they'd be like, yeah, we're just, you're taking out loans. Yeah, it's crazy to like, you got to wish him before you even got actual

tuition, cause it's like, no, we can't. And so then like, so the white kids who are at our public school, they were like cool white kids, but we didn't have, we didn't even, I think we, we maybe had like two wiggers. We didn't like, well, there was no shortage of them in baltimore are you wearing okay a durag okay yeah yeah you, knowing I didn't have the word for code switching, but you better believe we knew a lot of experts in code switching. We would just make fun of them.

Like, come on, just talk how you talk. Man, talk how you talk the whole time. My first thoughts about Baltimore, the first my first viewings of Baltimore were like just too so it was like it was the Ravens, like Ray Lewis, Air Ravens. And then because I was a theater kid, hairspray. Yeah, not John Waters in general, but hairspray specifically musical. So there was a part of me that like whenever my first interactions or first viewings of Baltimore were like that, like basically the Ravens and like

musical about racism, I was like,s and like a musical about racism. I was like, Baltimore is kind of like Mississippi, but with crabs. No, you're you know what? Yeah, sort of like musical racism is kind of really on the nose. Or it's like, yeah, you know, the the hero is a is a non racist. But there's plenty of racism. You know what I mean? Girl hero fat, non racist girl. Well, that does bring a whole thing.

Maybe she had some ulterior motives to wanting black guys in more white spaces. But she tried to try. So if you don't know the story, here's the truth. He ends up with like the the popular, like conventionally attractive white kid, Link. So I mean, and drag. So I was like, what is this place?

What is this mythical place of Baltimore where like you can be like a mom in drag and have your fat daughter dancing on TV? What is going on? Well, that is, I mean, the divine character, that makeup was not, came out of thin air. Like, plenty of old, like, plenty of old white trash, like, does have that, like, that hairdo, like the beehive shit, like, we missed a lot of it because we were, you know, I was in Greek town,

it was like, not quite, look up the be beehive more like what Ricky Lake had going on The Baltimore ship, but it's like yeah, they were not Yeah, so they had that going like the oh, yeah, both. Yeah, Baltimore's are very I do like I thought Harris Bay was great. Obviously, you know, I have to say but it's like because it is a weird city Yeah, like it's bizarre and it's like obviously John Waters is an insanely You know, he's a very his shit is strange as fuck like when he really goes off the deep end But he's trying to make a conventional ass movie there, but I'd like it because it does it like Baltimore is strange It is kind of artsy. It is like a little fucking weird

And so that was a that that's a much better if if you watch that and The Wire, you'll probably get it. You know what I mean? Well, cause for years, and it's kinda like, I mean, I think it's kinda hacked now. Whenever people only know about The Wire, I kinda wanna be like, yeah, but I mean, like, that's like only knowing about Oz on HBO. Like, you're watching the worst version of something.

So I think that like, whenever people talk about Baltimore now, I'm glad you brought up like the art scene and like even like the fact that like it's mid Atlantic, but it's like so many different cultures coming together. Like people shit on Baltimore kind of the same way they show them. Yes, yes. Large like it's always these people from other places are like, can you believe that people have to live like that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What are you talking about? Yeah? No? I do I mean it is I I do love it But it's like I doubt I don't want to fucking live there anymore obviously I think you probably feel the same way about Clear path to do a bunch of stand-up in yeah, yeah, that's true I mean like or other art shit right I mean maybe maybe maybe you could do some murals You're gonna be able to draw a bunch of people yeah, yeah, so I moved I went to I went to School for theater and then I went to grad school and then I moved here. So that was I went to grad school in Alabama Yeah, which was like another that's awesome to go from Mississippi to Alabama. Yeah. You can sometimes you get to go from 51 to 49.

Sometimes you get to get West Virginia. Oh, my God. Holy shit. There were multiple. There were moments when I was in Alabama. I was like, oh, this is have this moment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, they were paying me so when you're grad student, right? It's like my job to make these like straight undergrad kids like excited about theater on Friday Before an SEC home opening on Saturday. I'm like God What am I gonna do? So like even during the humor section or the comedy section of our like lecture series?

I'd be like, you know what, you know, what's you know, what is part of theater stand up and sketch nice So let's just watch can't peel. Yeah Sketches do you want watch one the psychs clips with me and so the kids like the students were like, yes What am I what am I like advisors? She's, you have such a way with the students. I was like, I just be watching videos. Yeah. I know you think there's more to it, but we're laughing together

because neither one of us are doing shit. I'm letting them pregame. Yeah, yeah. They came to class on a Friday. That's a win. That's huge for sure. But so I just want real quick, so you're hanging out and what's the family, you since you're around everybody, is it just kind

of like everybody's go to everybody's house? Is it you, your mom, your siblings? I have a younger sister, younger brother, my younger sister she's like in oh in Toledo, Ohio right now. My brother he's a truck driver, still lives in Mississippi. Shout out to the camo. He's a truck driver still is Mississippi He has two kids my niece and my nephew So like we grew up it was all three of us because we were pretty close in age And so like see my grandma every day my grandma would cook my mom would be there I'd see my cousin every day at see my great grandma every day until she passed away

So like I was always around all of them Yeah, so there was never like you when you have that many people, sometimes we were like, oh, why don't you have friends over? It's like there's enough people over here. It's more than enough people over here. Yeah. My mom would sometimes say stuff like like because people would want to have like sleepovers and stuff and my mom would be like, do you want to go over there? I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And plus like when you're, the way I was set up as a kid, like whenever you go to someone's house, you know that feeling after you eat and after you watch a movie and after you like play like in 64, where you're like, man, I kinda want home. I could go home now.

You're like, I'm good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have to figure out how y'all shower work. Right. I don't, I'm good. Yeah, I don't have to figure out how y'all shower work I'm good. I'm kind of scared of your dad Yeah, he been farting a lot Yeah, you know cuz when you go over it coming in younger you go over some people's houses like everything You know the way the rugrats what heightened everything. Yes. Yeah, of course feels when you know I'm with you and it's someone else's house. They're like just go in that room. You're like absolutely not

Yeah, some fucked up. They're like your aunt your grandma's in there. No, I don't want to get We never we I think we like our parents my parents were very weird about did you ever sleep over anybody's house? Yeah, I had some friends when when we moved to the county that I would go over there. I remember like They were like I mean they just lived kind of like you know I don't want to say hickish or whatever Yeah, it was like you know middle of the woods big trampoline and bunch of car shit. Yeah I had a there's a trampoline outside But you know they I remember I would go over there and sleep over and they had like such an aggressive dog That would just like go ape shit on

Everyone except like the mom the dad and my friend and I had to like go outside Wait on the front porch for them to bring him Home him down. No for them to like bring that it bring him in and feed him Oh, and then they like put him back outside after dinner I'm like we have to wait outside for them to like take him to the bed for bed. We had a kid like that No the town mongoloid. That's something that also, once again, stuff is so generational. Like before people knew to train dogs and before everyone had a camera on their phone to be like,

this is how you train a dog. You remember people just have like horrible dogs. Yeah, yeah. All that dog. My dog. He's bad. Yeah, he just is bad. We haven't people come over have like horrible dogs. They'd be like, oh that dog, my dog, he's bad. Yeah, he just is bad. We having people come over, we shouldn't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I had friends like that, they'd be like, yeah, don't go out there. Don't even look at my dog. Why is the dog here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's true. I mean, my parents were so scared of us sleeping over

that I'm like, did I get molested and forget? I really think that sometimes, because they were that scared where they'm like, did I get molested and forget? I really think that sometimes, because they were that scared where they were like, like they wouldn't let me sleep at Elvis's house. I mean, eventually when we were like, almost in high school anyway, I feel like we had a couple sleep, but it's like, I couldn't sleep over at my best friend's house.

A couple times they let people sleep over at our house. So I'm like, straight up, and then I'm like, did my dad get molested? And that's why he's like this. You know what I mean? Like, because he was so he was not like a good dad, but he was so I mean, he was he was OK. But he was so scared to let us like stay anywhere overnight. I'm like, did some old Greek guy in the six in the fifties just, you know, watch him

a little too often. You know what I mean? The term is pederasty. Yeah. And it was an apprenticeship where you learn. Yeah, my dad did. That is, okay, hold on. My dad dropped out of high school at 14

and was an apprentice to a woodworker. Did he go real Socratic method with it? That's the Socratic method with it? That's the Socratic method It's teaching a kid of trade and sucking him off So that's it so I have a lot of because they were so scared of us of us like of Sleeping over and it was mostly my dad like which is very interesting I'm like some did some fucked up happen and I mean, there's also a little part of it that is like just like

Part of American culture is like sleepovers movies the mall and like Sometimes like immigrant parents and parents who don't want to like that's a good boy They're like we're not doing that weird ass American shit. No, that's a good point. Because that's how you get spoiled ass, entitled American ass kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who like don't take care of you when you're older. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which, you know. Yeah, coin flip. It's the fourth quarter. Time to make a comeback. Wow. Oh, wow. Oh, and those old people, they're like, you know what, you don't take care of me, you don't have a country now, all right?

Talking about that incredible deal for wireless has made me really work up an appetite, folks. But I don't wanna cook. I want delicious, nutritious meals ready to go in my kitchen right now. Holy shit, lucky for me, I got factor meals in my fridge as we speak. You know I'm on a little fitness goal, okay?

No big deal, I'm down 40, 40 to 45 pounds since February. And honestly, a big part of that has been my friends at factor meals, okay? When I come up here to do, I've been in Baltimore, when I come up here to do podcasts, I've in Baltimore, when I come up here to do podcasts, I've been getting, I've been ordering some of their meals, they're delicious, they have all, I've been doing Calorie Smart, I even dabbled in keto,

when I really want to hit my protein goals, they got Protein Plus. Whatever you're looking for, they got delicious meals. Restaurant quality shit, we're talking filet mignon, shrimp, salmon, the good shit. Enjoy effortless support for your lifestyle. Choose from six menu preferences to help you manage calories, maximize protein intake.

Avoid meat, not me, but maybe you, or just eat well balanced. Head to factormeals.com slash Stavi50 and use code STAVI50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month That's code Stavi 50 at factor meals comm slash Stavi 50 to get 50% off your first box Plus 20% of your next month while your subscription is active. What a steal Fuck dude. Yeah, that's fucking

Interesting. I love the idea of like that is very interesting your brother Being just the staying being a truck driver with kids and you're a fucking you're you're a gay dude in an interracial relationship in Harlem It doesn't get much like And I was like he came to my wedding was like almost two years ago Can't bromine these my nephew brought his wife. I like I love Mark so much, but I was like, it's kind of different, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I was like, oh, you're drunk. Yeah, that's why I'm like, he's I mean, he was always super supportive. I came out I came out to him. I want to say I was like around 20. And so he's still younger and like could have been on like some bullshit. But like his wife does hair. So he has so many gay people around him Anyway, they're like he really he truly didn't care cuz like at that point I think he was like just so focused on

getting pussy Yeah, so you're 20 when you came out there, how old was he? So he would have been 17. 17, you could tell him anything. Yeah, you could be like, hey Mark, I like guys. He's like, well, I don't. Anyway, so he took my sister, she was like super supportive of my mom. My mom was like so chill. I didn't.

Interesting, churchy as hell and still supportive. Here's what happens. So the story isn't nearly interesting enough when you come out and nothing like that doesn't happen. Totally. So like my big struggle is I was like, oh, like, I don't know if people are going to accept it. And you build up this like. You're like, how the hell am I going to be accepted in my theater graduate program as a homosexual? And so then so like what happened is I came out and I was like, I didn't.

I had my first boyfriend at Ole Miss. And like, what's wild is that like he was like a secret boyfriend because like there was this one guy who like we made out in his car and he's like this like super like kind of like just like very femme guy like made out and I was like Prussian yeah, I shouldn't tell anyone and he was like He just seems like a gossip because like the minute you minute you tell, hey, don't tell anyone. And you see someone be like, oh, I wouldn't. Yeah. You see them not even think about it for a second.

Yeah. Oh, everyone's going to know. So that came out. And then I had like my first boyfriend who was like in a frat. And he was like, he wasn't he wasn't super like bro. But he was like, if you look at certain people, you can be like, there's something there. Cause he just wasn't with the frats shit the way his homeboys were.

And then after him, I like was still hooking up with girls and like, I still like- Which I respect by the way. Listen. There's not enough bi, like we get plenty of like bi girls who end up with straight men. Who are mostly, you know what I mean? It's like 75-25.

Bi doesn't have to be 50-50. Gay guys can get a little pussy too. That's it. And I still identify as bi only because, you know that one gif of Russell Westbrook eating something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's me with pussy. Just like, just a. Hmm, interesting. Russell Westbrook eating something Wait until July, okay

Come on man, no pussy till prides over come on Take a big shit, you know get all the glitter out of your hair and then get a little pussy. I thought you said gender was a spectrum. Excuse me. There they them. It's still gay sex if they're there. It's also funny because like now a lot of the times that like straight dudes will be like super cool with gay guys. You'll be like, man, do you understand that this was so many

like queer men's fear? They lose all their straight friends, like every straight boy be an asshole to them. And so now, because like straight users are cool with gay guys, there's this pushback. Some of them are like, I don't want any straight friends. Like, nah, you gotta deal with these dudes now. These guys know about your music taste

and they're coming to your club. Deal with it, deal with it. Yeah, well that makes sense, the pushback. I mean, I think we're once, and I think it's probably happening in schools now where it's like, at least it was happening when I was like a tutor. I think we're poised for gay bullies now. Oh yeah.

Like it's the era of gay bullies. They're there. They're here already. This is what they'll do. So, they're they're here already. Yeah, this is what they'll do So they'll like find just one thing. They'll be like, oh, you don't know your queer history straight. It's coming from my own folks. It hurts the most. You like wear you'll like you'll be like, oh, you know, I'm going out. You like wear crocs somewhere.

Not cross because Crocs are pretty gay, but you're like where you like wear something and they'll be like. You're so you want to look straight so bad. You know, I just didn't know I was going to see gay people today. I promise I want to look straight so bad That's fucking awesome. Yeah the pressure to be a fashionable gay guy Oh, yeah, but now like I think sometimes you'll see like you'll see some gay dudes now that dress so dogshit I mean and even like there's like they'll dress like horrible in like kind of trendy way. And then like there's the opposite.

We're like a lot of DC gays are so kind of behind the times, but also so job oriented. You'll be like, you're gay wearing all birds. Honestly, we got some H&M gay guys here. That might be worse than anything else. Oh yeah, but that makes sense. DC is just corny in general. They have the corniest people of all. The DC gays, they turn out for the shows, but like they have, when I say that they have like some of the most middle management jobs. Yeah, everyone's a middle, everyone feels like a middle manager.

They're like, well, no, I don't actually make the missiles. I just create a copy that we put on the email. Dude, believe me, DC is evil because it's like everyone, it's like a big laundering system for unspeakable evils. Like I had years ago in DC, I was at the improv and I was talking to a guy who was like, he was like, oh yeah, I'm a metal salesman. It's like, who are your big guys? She's like, oh, you know, businesses, the government.

It's like, hmm, what's the government doing with hundreds of tons of metal? I think they got an art installation. Yeah. What do you think they're doing? Yeah. And it's like, it's just like so many people could just be like, oh, you know, this plausible deniability of like, I'm not part of some horrific machine. There's truly a guy who's like, no, I just like create code for video games.

And it's like, no, no, no, you're making drones. You don't know you're making drones. For sure, for sure. Because you just think you're like programming Call of Duty shit, but like it's true. You're like putting people in the simulation. Yeah to blow up places Yeah, no, it's fucking sucks. But Yeah, I mean listen I still I still like I still like going to DC

So it's so the shows are good and I spent I spent a lot of my youth at open mics in DC Oh, it'll forever just go to Baltimore DC. So it'll forever have like a nice little place in my heart It's a good mix too because DC is what you get you get like rich people middle-class people poor people black people white people Asian people like every other demographic and they also get like smart people and dumb people Yeah so like sometimes a DC crowd is a much better cross section of America for sure like a New York crowd or like an LA crowd because you'll be like nah this is like actually because even in DC you'll be surprised the people who are like kind of center right so you'd

be like oh you're way more you're way more conservative than I thought but like you're fun because you know you're outnumbered yeah yeah yeah yeah whereas like in New York and LA sometimes like people will just get on stage and be like socialism for all and you'll be like Yeah, but write a joke, baby. Yeah, totally we agree. We're on the same page. That's not what we're doing here. I Agree, dude 100% no, I did I love that about DC too cuz it's like yes you obviously have all those corny motherfuckers but it's also like like, you know, like I wasn't used to

middle management ass like uptight is Baltimore like Honestly, I grew up a lot of a lot of white trash. Yeah, I grew up a lot like I've seen the video Yeah, yeah, yeah and a lot of poor black like that's the other thing you go to DC and it's like you encounter brunch Howard black guys, you know what I mean? You encounter like the girls with the fucking with the fucking you know Quaker Oats hat You know what I'm saying? Like like I that's the thing is like everyone of Baltimore black or white was kind of trash Meeting the brunch blacks is always whenever white people see brunchy blacks. Yeah, they go. Well, wait a minute What the hell's going on over here?

Because I would do like brunch shows. I would do shows everywhere. There was just so many. That's where I met Paris. Yeah, Paris Hachet. Paris. And like Rallo was doing that. He was putting a lot of, you know, Rallo.

He's the man. But he would put on those shows at U Street where it was just like a bunch of like Howard brunch blacks. It was fun. It was like a different, you know. And the craziest thing is that like on Sunday in DC, like New York has a brunch culture. DC is brunch culture.

It's the only thing people do on Sunday afternoon. More proof that it's a corny ass city. That it's that built around brunch. Yeah, you'd be like, is everyone just, oh, okay. Yeah, whenever, I was just at the DC Improv and the wildest thing about that specific location is like everything is so close to the Capitol and the way that you don't think about it,

you go, oh, that's probably somewhere down there. You'd be like, oh no, it's like right here? Totally right there. Oh, it kind of makes you go, I see how they pulled off January 6th. And I'm not, I don't agree with. Totally right. Oh, yeah. It kind of makes you go. I see how they pulled off January 6 I don't agree with it. It's close. But it's like you when you see it you go. Yeah, I can jump that. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you see why they were thinking maybe that's why there's so many middle management people around DC It's like those people are never storming anything. That's why everybody who stormed had to catch a couple fucking flights to do it

They keep the stormers away That's awesome though, dude, yeah, no shut up, you know shout out to DC's, you know, sorry We disparage your your city, but that's so you just went straight from you straight from the south to New York Yeah, you're the whole time. Yeah, I've been here the whole time I knew I was gonna probably end up in a bigger market. And so like what happens? I sold my car. And when you sell your car, you kind of decide there's New York. Yeah, true.

Because like you sell your car and you get some money and you go, wait a minute. Oh, yeah. Not L.A. But yeah, burn the ships. Yeah. Salem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can't go back. Yeah. So I came to New York in 2015. Yeah, yeah. Salemburg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very that. We can't go back. Yeah. So I came to New York in 2015.

I like moved to Park Slope. I like got scammed the minute I got to LaGuardia. I fell for like the oldest scam. I fell for the taxi scam. Oh, classic. You know, you don't know. So like the black taxi scam and so like big like big like big truck And then like they make you pay in cash if you don't have cash

So drive you to ATM and like harass you until you get the money out So probably it was charged like don't overcharge you for sure and think about double from LaGuardia the Park Slope Like I think I was out of like $200 like that. I just got the minute the first hour Just like negative negative 200 and so I was there I got a job at the gayest gym in the city David Barton hell. Yeah, I'm an astor place Yeah, I always say that place was in the gym as much as it was a sex club with some ellipticals Those steam rooms were probably tough to clean. They were. I would not want to squeeze you those fucking steam rooms.

I was a trainer, but the staff, every now and then the staff would just be like, I'm coming in. We got hey, we're about to come in. Everyone, just so you know, I'm coming in. We had a guy pass out in the steam room. What happened is he was going in and out of the steam room for like way too long. And people in like gay men are peppy, lapew level horny in New York City. He didn't know he was like cooking his brain by like being in the steam room for too long,

like just becoming like a dumpling. Yeah. And so he like passed out and like it was like a situation where he passed out his head. We had to call the fire department. EMTs have to pick him up. All the firemen were sexy. They started giving each other head. All the firemen had just straps and pants, no upper, you know.

He like passes out in the joke. I love the idea of just sending like hunky gay versions of everything when the gay people call the police. Me and all the trainers like, I'm about to pass out too. What? He passed out, they got to carry him out. The joke I made, I was like, what are we going to tell his wife? We had Anderson Cooper work out at that gym. Love it. carry him out, the joke I made, I was like, what are we gonna tell his wife? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Anderson Cooper worked out at that gym. Love it. Like, ooh, this guy who like actually worked for Donald Trump, who was like a gay guy who loved, who loved being gay, but also loved working for Donald Trump, because gay men can be anything including evil. Sure.

Yeah. Absolutely. He like, he like had me as his trainer, and he would like always say stuff. I'd be like, you, this, I was, cause I was just fascinated that Donald Trump was paying me. Sure, yeah, yeah. True, true. And this before he was even like a political figure at all. So this was like so early on, so this was 2015, this was right when he was like ramping up. Oh you're right cuz I remember I remember I worked at a paint store in Baltimore Yeah, right before I moved and the painters that's what I should have known when the white trash contractors were like

He's a businessman. He's gonna turn it all around And I'm like you fucking morons. You're like, did you say slate gray? You're like, did you say slate gray? Yeah. So like that, like Donald Trump, the guy who worked for him was like paying me and another trainer. And he was so gay, like just like a gay dude in New York City. I think I like worked with Donald Trump for a number of years and like the Miss USA pageant. Oh, yeah. So like, I was like, man, this is a wild.

I was like, do you actually think he's going to gonna win he was like, I think he has a chance I was like man, you're crazy right to me being like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Oh my gosh Was he a good was he a good client? No, he was terrible He was he was just he was just an old man who just was horny all the time in the gym And like I was like a young fun to talk to trainer. I trainer I had a lot of rapport because I was not a good trainer people forget that like yeah you went to school for theater when you're just ripped they're like you could be a trainer and you take the exam and then people are like oh man you interview so well I was like yeah I would love listen and we're gonna have a

plan we're gonna get involved like all the shit. The first, like my first month there, like in my sessions with my clients, I'd be like, girl, what you want to do with that? Yeah. Like we wouldn't be doing it. We'd be catching up. I had one client, he worked for a big bank. And he was like, he made a lot of money.

And he also was like, when I say he would come back with like the wildest story like I mean like full-on crazy fist pig Story To be a rich gay guy in Manhattan lower Manhattan. Yeah, beautiful stuff. Oh my you can probably gay guy in Manhattan, lower Manhattan. Yeah, beautiful stuff. Oh, my. You can probably do whatever, whatever your sexual desire is, no matter how base you can find it. Easy.

This is the place. This is the place. You listen, I never had Nepalese food until I moved to New York. You think if we get food from Nepal, we can't find you like a gimp? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. We're bringing dumplings from Mount Everest. We could do whatever we can put whatever you want in your ass, buddy. Oh, I love it. Folks, I'm working really hard on the Stompy Baby 2025 calendar. I think you're all going to love it. And pretty soon when those bad boys are printed up,

here's the sound I'll be hearing. Mm-hmm. That's the money coming in, baby. That's the calendar flying out of my store and into your home. Thanks, and that's all because of our friends at Shopify. They make selling shit online so easy. I'm dumb as hell, okay?

Before Shopify, do you know what a mess it was for me? I've been selling calendars for six years, if you can believe it, and I've been selling T-shirts. And I used to take orders out of my DMs, I used to take Venmo, cash, not have any accounting, no nothing, that's a thing of the past. With Shopify, they make the process so smooth, everything's easy, everything's easy to integrate

with our shipping partners. We get all this data on who's buying what, when they're buying, what kind of advertisement works, all this kind of shit. It's great. I love using Shopify. They've made it so easy for me. And if you're selling anything online,

you want to use them to upgrade your business and get the same checkout that we use here with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash Stavi, S-T-A-V-V-Y, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash Stavi to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Stavi. Well, Jay, listen, man, you have quite the expertise here. We got, you got a lot, you've lived the life.

I think you're ready to help our people here with some fucking- I would love to. Some advice. So Elda, and by the way, anything you want to plug here at the Midway Point? Like we said, we have no idea when this comes out. Yeah. You know, we're just trying to get ahead for the summer. Oh, I'm on tour.

You can find me, Jay Jordan on Instagram and on all the other platforms. We can also post some stuff on the podcast beforehand. So we'll put it on our stories or something But yeah find Jay's hilarious obviously is great episode, but see you stand up Go see him live and yeah, let's let's take some calls here Eld Hey, stop me. Love you, baby Longtime first time you know what? Of course calling cuz I don't have like that big of a problem.

I actually have no problem. Well, not no problem, but fucking a trivial problem compared to the shit I hear on the phone. Okay. But I've been in a relationship now for like a year and a half. Things are going great. We're already planning marriage and like we're in a more financially stable place everything's going perfectly well enough okay my only problem is that we've gone to this

relationship like a couple months after like let's just say I was finally fucking oh my for the first time regularly I mean I've been getting like into relationships for about four years like in and out but then for about four months five months in but then for about four months five months in 2022 Going into early 2023. I was finally like hooking up with people and it was fucking great like I'm by so I was nice in the fuck guys girls trans people

Sounds fun. Now, I'm really happy, but I'm just not bored, but just wondering, man, how the fuck am I going to go with only this pussy for the rest of my life? You mean your wife? Your fiance? I also love you, boy. Did he say how old he is, Elvis? He didn he say how old he is, Eldest?

He didn't say how old he is. He said they've been together a year and a half. And he says they're like planning marriage for when they're like in a financially stable place. So that's pretty nebulous. This could just be doomed, right? If he's like talking about... Basically what he means is he finally actually likes someone he's dating. That's what this is, right? And like, unfortunately, we'd all like to think when we,

we like to think that it's only when we finally find someone that, oh, well of course we're gonna get married. Yeah. That's not necessarily how life works. Yeah. Sometimes one of us is diabolically horny and we'll ruin it that way. I've been in those situations where I fucked up relationships with somebody I clicked with because I was like, you know, whatever, didn't want to be whatever.

I was just wrong about where I was in life. So that's one aspect. Yeah. The bi aspect is also something that this could be something you and your girl explore together. Sure. And you just be that couple with lizards and swords. We all know. We know what these couples look like. Yeah. Got many a message on field. Sure. Lift up some chainmail and suck some tits.

Would that be the worst thing in the world? I mean also I think that you talking about you being bi that's kind of to the left of this. Are you open or not? That's different than being bi. Yes so that's a huge thing. I guess there's actually three things. There's a bi thing but then there's also the fundamental thing of every, I would say man, but probably women too, let's not be sex about it. Definitely dudes though, it's a classic thing of being like, holy shit, especially when you

finally feel confident, you're like, that is that there is something, there is a sacrifice to be made in that, yeah, that's part of settling down for most people, right? Some people can be open, whatever, but it's like the vast majority of people are just gonna be like, I love this person enough where I want them in my life forever, and like, I don't wanna fuck any other people.

And that can be scary, yeah, of course, everyone's like, damn, I would've liked to do this thing that I didn't get to do, right? Like, and that's what birthdays are for. Why aren't you thinking that you get one every 365? Yeah, that seems fair. Very fair as a horny bisexual is now married.

Why don't you this actually? I don't know why I'm even talking. Yeah, I mean, but also first of all I need to see a pit. Yeah Secondly, I would say that like discuss these feelings with with your fiance I guess your girl your longtime girlfriend talk about this with her don't miss maybe don't say I'm gonna be stuck with this pussy Yeah, yeah, yeah Something like hey with her, don't miss. Maybe don't say I'm going to be stuck with his pussy. Right. Yeah. Maybe say something like, hey,

I'm making sure that we're committed to each other and also have a bunch of threesomes while you're engaged so that you guys aren't like messing things up too bad. Right. Right. Like you seem like a fun dude. You also understand you.

He like understood. He was like, this is trivial compared to some of the stuff people call him with. Right. Right. Like, you know, he understands this isn't like stressful or anything. He's just kind of curious. Yeah, so I say like have a Conversation you seem if you're mature enough to admit your body you should at least be able to talk to your girlfriend about being like hey, I'm

I'm feeling a bit sexually stifled. How do we fix this and the bi think does give him a bit of an out? Yeah, because if you was just a straight guy was like I want to fuck other girls. There's really no Suck a little bit every once in a while Homophobic You got it right you you gotta write beautiful logic trap you can put her into. Yeah, you gotta play with house money, cause you're gonna have fun.

I think, I don't know, let her peg you. Or has he done that yet? Who knows? And I mean, I think, unfortunately, like I know it boils down to three things, right? It's either this is the thing everybody deals with when it comes to settling down yeah you have to just get over it like everybody does you know sure people want to fuck other people but other things are more

important that that's one two is what Jay's talking about which is like look let's be my let's be modern about this have a discussion and look maybe you have a discussion and she's like absolutely not that's not my style at all Maybe she's like maybe we can experiment together Maybe she's like we can be a little open if that's even what you want Cuz we don't know if he all he said is he wants fuck other people if he pulls the leg But of course, I don't want anybody Ruining my pussy. That's a big issue, right? But anyway, there's either just get over it

There's an open or there's honestly the third route I know this is kind of reductive here, but those these three things are or Maybe you are a little immature Yeah, and you do really like her but you guys are all you're talking about is you've been dating a year and a half Yeah, and you have plans to someday get married depending on finances. It's like look man I've seen how things are trending for For this generation the finances ain't getting there brother. All right If that's the thing that's gonna stop you, you know, so you might not be ready for it, right?

So you have to search your feelings and think about which one you are and I would like to think now the second path is a slippery One now because some people just aren't into it. Yeah, but you also get to discover that. If you think, oh, I can handle being open, when you're next to someone really putting in that work, if you start to go, maybe I'm not into this, or maybe you're super into it, this could be a Bergstein film career. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

You could become a cinematographer. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, only way Gen Z is gonna make money is through sex work by the way so maybe Yep, videotape your girl getting just absolutely pounded But yeah, dude, this is these are these are the this is a classic dilemma And you just have to really search yourself and figure out where you fall And look yeah, man, sometimes there are your glory days, but it's the same like anything. It was cool, like for example, it's cool to think about when you played high school football. It's not cool to be a 30 year old man playing high school football.

You know what I mean? You don't want to be 30 in pads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might, it's cool. You know, you had your glory days. You can think about them fondly. You think Stavi don't want to go back and play middle school basketball? Dude, right now I'm the same height.

I'm the same height, but I have more wild and cunning. I would school those 13 year olds, but I can't. It would look very weird. Great. I mean. good luck, brother. Great, great. Like voicemail. And you seem so cool. Like just know that like you got a couple of things you got to reassess with like your lady. Yeah, for sure. That seems fun. This seems like you're in a good you're in a good spot.

And send pics. Yeah. What else we got? This seems like you're in a good you're in a good spot. Yeah and sin picks. Yeah What else we got old Starbless precious man. Hello eldest. Hello. Yes. I Have a question that relates to practicality and morality Interesting, which is this I Don't know I'm getting

Something like addicted to sex workers, okay? extreme, but I've been seeing a lot of sex workers recently and Funny because I'm I've been told I'm attracted to... Well, by them? They also say you're very strong. And that your dick is big. Wait a second, is this the 2019 carry? Wait a minute.

The waitress thinks I'm really funny. Alright, go ahead, Aldous. I've been told I'm an attractive dude and I have something going on well for myself and then some big old dips in my and shit but I can afford it financially and I don't know if there's some kind of Christian bullshit in me that says it's bad to fix ex-workers and that's why I'm worried about it or if there is some actual peril in the long run like you get hooked on it and then don't get off the boat but again especially if you can afford it no problem then you're almost it ain't tricking if you don't believe locked into thing and so I don't know what you take on seeing ladies of the night. Oh, pro.

It's awesome. We're hugely pro-ho around here. We're pro-ho. We're hugely pro-sex work. Pro-sex work. But still, are you, I wanna hear about what his relationships outside of these interactions are. Yeah, because here's the thing man

There's nothing wrong with it. I really I really truly and we're joking around but I really don't believe there's anything wrong with it But like I was addicted to ice cream. You know what I mean? Like that's that's there's you spy in a grocery store There's nothing wrong with selling it. There's nothing wrong with buying it, but it was ruining my life And you can certainly get addicted to pussy you can certainly get addicted to buying pussy right so it's just it's just case by case basis Cybrills was free base in Turkey Hill bro legit we've talked about it it's a theme on this show Ben and Jerry's was a real problem for both me and eldest in this very apartment it ruined years of my life like literally did I think about

that I wasn't even that fat then what if I just didn't eat that much ice cream I might have never gotten this fat I'm gonna just stay it anyway it's fine but so that's the thing it's like yes what are they what are they like are you are is it fucking up your, it's any time that you have a, he says he has dips in self-esteem. Are you creating some kind of fucked up reward mechanism where, oh I'm having a bad day,

time to spend $400 on top shelf head, you know what I mean? And then you're kind of Pavlov's dog with like bad shit happens, or even in your dating life. Let's say a girl dumps you, I would say treat it like any kind of splurge and having a fun time where it's like, gambling is a great example, right?

You wanna gamble every, you wanna go to a casino every fucking four months, have a fucking blowout, you'll lose a couple grand, whatever, but you had a great time, that's fine, that's fine. Gambling every fucking day, you know, going from nice casinos to back alley dice games, you know what I mean?

Where they don't test anybody, you know what I mean? Like, that's where it starts to be a problem. So it's like, treat it like a fucking fun little splurge, I would say. And have friendships, have relationships with people outside. to be a problem. So it's like treat it like a fucking fun little splurge, I would say. And have friendships, have relationships with people outside. We didn't hear you kind of, he talked about being told he's attractive and he's funny, but dips in self-esteem. You kind of need to be engaging with other people who aren't involved in this, a transactional relationship with you. So you, I mean, if it's just like having friends

doing anything other than going to see a sex worker to make you feel better, that's going to a movie, that's going to, that's literally anything else. And can we work on these self-esteem dips, right? Cause like, I've definitely, like I said, lots of different different I've abused Substances, you know drugs food what sex whatever it is Like when I'm feeling low anything you can get caught into a fucked up little cycle

And this is certainly one of those things so it's like you got to get out of that little cycle Yeah, cuz I'm breaking plans to do this right are you like changing the path of your day? Are you leaving work a little early today? That's what it's like This is like territory. I'm not comfortable and if you called and had the question Yeah, it's very telling. I think there's something definitely possible there. It's like yeah I don't think it's puritanical bullshit to be like well I he says it's not a problem you can afford it's like yeah, but like you know you could key. Are you affording?

500 bucks every once in a while you're affording like well $7,000 Technically I can make rent like there's levels of affording it brother like are you treating it like it's like Chemo medicine your insurance won't cover anymore. Well, I will make ends meet medicine your insurance won't cover anymore you're like well I will make ends meet to go buy pussy so that's what I'm saying is like there's different levels of afford are you putting some of these girls through school yeah you're a benefactor yeah you're an angel invest your area which is good good for you but yeah again that's the thing and you know this is a no judgment zone so you know

you're not getting any Christian bullshit. Listen any judgment out of us. It's post Pandemic everyone in here knows a girl who bought a pair of scrubs online. Yeah, yeah, because she won makes me We like and these we're not like grandparents we don't care but like, you know Yeah hooking up with sex workers Of course for sure. But yeah, dude. So yeah search yourself search your feelings. Let us know how it's going It's in pics. Yeah Where what city you are these girls What's up, Fav, Elvis, yes, love you guys.

Alright, so I'm calling in because I have a problem that I think is near and dear to your heart, Fav, we've talked about it a bunch. I am a married 34 year old female, married to a man, I'm back here, love him, best relationship of my entire life. Uh, one problem. My husband has not brushed his teeth for years. For years? Many, many, many years.

Probably like eight years. Brushed his teeth? What? Um, we've gotten into a lot of kids about this. Probably one of the first things I noticed about him. Wait a second. I was like, dude, where's your toothbrush? But, um, it's been since day one. Like, I've known about it.

Still married the dude, love the distance, whatever. You know? This is insane. But I just don't know what to do about it. You know, I've offered to go to therapy with him. I told him, I've, you know, told him I need him to do this for me. I've tried everything

I Have this is crazy gone ahead and gotten him toothbrushes Nothing works. I mean I feel like I don't fucking know what to do He hasn't he has the mental health issues, but like you know work together He has a mental health issue, but we kind of work through them together. I've tried my best. Anyway, I'm rambling. All right, let me know what you think. Thanks, bye. God damn, man.

I mean, there's a self-esteem on our caller here. Like, look, I have definitely... I was a latecomer to traditional teeth brushing methods. Okay, it just skipped us, my mom never made us brush our teeth, and I literally was 30 years old when I started, but it was like, it literally was like, I was a little younger than 30,

it was literally having a girlfriend that I was like, oh yeah, I had that exact conversation which was like where's your toothbrush and I had to be like oh yeah I guess I left it on the road and then I had to buy one and she sees me like not knowing what to do like swirling around my my fucking face. You're like the beast learning how to eat oatmeal. It keeps falling out of my hand. This is fucked up though because I also feel like look you're married he's in his 30s like part of it is like I had fucking clear dental issues I lost a tooth unrelated unrelated for the record. It's this story, it's a legend in the city a chicken bone

a chicken wing a comedy seller a comedy seller chicken wing cracked my tooth it's framed yeah hahahaha I was sitting in that little weird zone above the

uh the fucking fat black the fat black in the lounge upstairs. In the shadows. In the shadows. Where the Phantom sits. Phantom of the Opera style, yeah. But this is, okay, so this is interesting

because it's one thing to be like, you know, whatever, my boyfriend does it, he's 30 years old, he doesn't brush his teeth, we've all been there. But listen, I was, I bought it there. Yeah, but listen I was I Bought it, you know once I started I have because here's the thing It feels it turns out it feels good to brush your teeth I went to the dentist and I just I was just like I got a cleaning and it was so fucked up Yeah, that I was like well, I'm never missing brushing my teeth ever again. Like this I was bleeding So much my teeth well cuz they just take metal and scrape it

against your teeth. They had to like put me, they had to like numb me and like get under my gum. It was so fucked up. Well, the wild part about this is she's done the work. She's bought the toothbrushes and kind of just, ma'am, you're gonna have to hold him down. There's something, you can't keep getting BV from him

when he goes down on you. You gotta like do something. Yeah, I mean... Is he just rinsing his mouth a lot? This is gross. I mean it does become gross. Because he didn't even say it's gross. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know what he's doing. Is he like like just going through packs of tried net like how is she says she has some mental health issues?

But they've worked through them together That's not how that works, man I'm worried because this is kind of like the canary in the coal mine type thing where it's like look it's it's bordering on a problem because like Oral health is tied to a lot of other types of like, you know, like if you have a fucked up mouth, it can fuck up your blood, bloodstream, all this kind of shit.

But let's just say for the sake of argument, it's not the biggest deal in the world, right? He used a little mouthwash, whatever, his breath doesn't smell, whatever, whatever. There's gonna be another thing, if you can't get this guy to brush his teeth. Yeah gotta see if there's a real problem yeah I mean but just like anything else dude it's like you're married to this person if you're ever at an impasse he won't compromise on brushing his teeth yeah I'm a little

like I want to give you like, like real constructive criticism, but this is like this is like a non this is a non starter to the point where you go, oh, well, this has to be handled before you can argue about visitation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, get in a custody battle. There's no way he's going to get the kids for the weekend because they won't be brushing their teeth. We know that damn day one she's known known and still married him Wow eight years. Oh

What else is good about him like he must be awesome I mean it seems like she and she's aware of the podcast. Yeah These aren't people who are holed up somewhere. No. Ah, geez, I don't fucking, like, I guess let's think of it, do either of you, you're both in long-term relationships, how would you approach any habit, see it's hard because it's like, thinking of it,

you think of a reasonable person, and they would at least attempt it, or I don't know. Is his argument, it's a scam? Is he he like that's what Fauci wants you to do? Right. What is it? He just doesn't want to? Like he literally is how a child approaches brushing his teeth? I will say I knew someone in high school who like you know this isn't like high school though I know but it's not making it excusable but he was talking about how he literally like didn't really brush his teeth and Everyone in the class is like oh, that's weird. Whatever, but he was like yeah

I just don't brush my teeth and he said like it feels weird when I brush my teeth If you it feels weird after I brush and then I like run my tongue over my teeth And it just doesn't have that you feeling whatever that feeling is that I'm used to. He likes the, I just woke up in the morning kind of like fuzzy mouth. Yeah. Does this guy go to the dentist though? I mean that guy ain't going to the dentist. How is this guy going to the dentist?

No you're right. He didn't have a toothbrush. So it is, I mean it is something like you know even this guy being an adult or whatever I Could see like him just being used to it if he's just used to I mean of course you're used to it I'm not doing it forever or something ain't landed somebody without brushing his teeth. Yeah, but she's fucked up I Like her she's a friend of ours. She's calling in but clearly something's wrong with her If she's letting this fucking guy get away

Years of not brushing your teeth to president Wow his whole life to probably I mean, I was oh wow you're right cuz she you don't stop It's like you stop ours ago. Oh and again. I have sympathy. I'm not trying to sound like I'm on my high horse I did not start brushing my teeth regularly until I was 30 I get that I'm not coming to you from an ivory tower Dental health is a man of the people you listen to him So this if I'm even weirded out by it, it's like I don't know man I think that you have to have a very like

Focused but also like kind conversation and go, Hey, there's so many things that could go wrong. Yeah. There's so many things about you that I love, but I just, I need this. I need this more. This is going to sound immature, but maybe some sort of positive reinforcement. Good job, buddy. Yeah. You're going to have to put a treat in this bowl.

I don't know. Well, I think, yeah, I think let's start with the mental health issues, right? Like this seems like an offshoot of that. Yeah. It's just like I've offered to go to therapy. Like is there some way you can get this guy in some kind of therapy?

Some, like what are these mental health issues? The hard part for me though is like, what person do you know that's in therapy that doesn't breastfeed? Here's what I'm saying. I have a feeling this is the tip of the iceberg. You know what I mean? And here's the other thing,

mental illness just kinda compounds. Where it's like you can be kinda quirky at 28 when they met and eight years later, it's looking a little fucking rough. Yeah, it's not addition, it's exponents. Exactly, it's exponential, absolutely. Gets heavy fast. So that's what I'm a little worried about here and that's why it's like, let's leave the tooth brushing.

It's like, how is the rest of your relationship? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like is there other shit? This is creeping into you said you've worked through the mental health issues together. What does that mean? What are these issues? I think there's more to there's more for you to examine here, and I don't think We don't have an answer for the tooth brushing, but I also my gut is it's part of a much bigger thing here Do it in his sleep It's part of a much bigger thing here. Do it in his sleep. Yeah

Right fuck everything. I just said just fucking put him under and then brush his teeth every night Do it the way they have to do tigers at the zoo put him under Trank dart him and brush his teeth for him once a month. Yeah. Yeah once a month is something good. Oh You know you could give him greenies like you know how dogs Oh, yeah, they chew on shit, and it cleans their teeth. That's a great idea. Give him a milk bone to clean his teeth on Yeah, so you're in a tough spot, and I just think you have a little bit to think about here I know you love the guy but like Take a holistic view.

You said you want to get him in therapy. Maybe you need to get a little therapy going here to get a little more context on how you're feeling. Is it just a teeth brushing? Is everything else perfect? My hunch is no. Yeah. My hunch is no, but maybe I'm wrong. Yeah and also don't send pics. I don't need to see pictures. It is with another one, Big LB. Hey, been a big fan since Chopo Trap House with the Quora questions. I got a question for you. Earlier this year, I got out of a long-term relationship

and started fooling around with the co-worker We're nurses. So we are whores. It's true. I left that job a few months ago, but kept seeing this chick She's saving herself for marriage and basically for the past couple months. She's just been giving me head all over town What I've been eating her God won't have a problem with that sucking dick in an Elantra That counts that's being chased Awesome people are hilarious go ahead Why not just your place in her place

God yeah, it's the same way we're in a 18 wheeler. Yeah, she keeps it moving to keep God off the trail As long as they're never one they're on roller skates giving each other head Over town I've been eating her pussy. It's like a good relationship. Yeah, I've been going on dates with other people Just haven't really hit it off with anyone else The problem is she has a boyfriend in the city who's moving back to town soon. I haven't really had any ethical hangups with that because he's trying to get into the police academy. I was just

wondering should I stop and if so, when? Interesting. I love the idea of like as long as you're cucking a wannabe cop. There's nothing funnier than he's a aspiring police officer. Also, wow, you understand, there's a lot going on here. That she told you what his dream is. Yeah. What? You're a pillow talking and she telling you about her man, what he wants to do? Not what he's doing. Also. What he wants to do? Dude, also saving yourself for marriage, but cheating and sucking dick on the side. Oh my God.

You're telling me, I mean, this, there's a lot going on here. I wonder if that's even true. Yeah, she's cool, you're right. I wonder if that's even true or if she's just like, wow, it's not really cheating if he eats my pussy. Oh my God. If she lets her boyfriend fuck.

But anyway, police academy. This is way more military wife stuff than police academy stuff. What? They're over here. They got the guns. That is true. You're a male nurse. Okay. Wait.

Oh, well, here's the wild part. I. You are having, he says I don't have ethical hangups. He called. You gotta hang up. Well I don't think it's ethical. It's like, I think, yeah. It's like what is, is it ethical

or is it just like his self respect kind of thing? You know what I mean? It's like it's one thing He he is but you're right you hear it creeping into his voice where he's like I just haven't hit it off with anyone It's like he's kind of he's semi sprung and sounds like this girl must be good at giving head Yeah, she's not she hasn't given up pussy your whole life. Yeah, you understand how good she must be at sucking dick to keep everyone at bay That must be that's insane We're gonna assume is a very messy car Sucking that much dick in the car. I know it's some shit back

No one is sucking dick all around town sure all around town in Sure. All around town in a nice car? In a detailed, in a freshly detailed car. That's not happening. What's that, black ice? What is that? So yeah, this is about him, right? This is about he clearly is semi-sprung because he's like, I just haven't hit it off with anyone.

Because probably he doesn't really want to. He's just got to have a long term relationship. Right, right, right. He's entering a situation ship. So it's a matter of what you term relationship. Right. Right. Right. Entering a situation ship. So that's it's a matter of what you want out of this, buddy, because it's like you have to if you're strong enough to not get feelings and just get some head from time to time. I don't see anything that wrong with it, honestly.

Yeah. But nurses, I'll have access to azithromycin. You can clear whatever it is up pretty quick. So, yeah, I mean, but it does sound like he's starting to get feelings, and that he is kind of like, he's the problem here, where he's like, I haven't hit it off, and by the way, you shouldn't be hitting it off with anyone.

You're like, you just gotta have a long-term relationship. You can give yourself a little time to fool around. But just giving you advice as a friend, I do think you should probably call it off. Yeah, you should have one final blowout. Have one, maybe this time get head indoors. I don't know. Do something crazy.

And then, you know, then maybe be like, hey, your guy's coming back, you know, he's probably gonna die on the force. I'm a, I'm a let y'all work that out. Call me if you need anything. We're also coworkers, that's the other thing. Well, he's not anymore. Okay, so not anymore. So here's what I would say Cut it off. Yeah, but also Hey, man, if you got a keeper in your back, but hopefully you never have to use you never want to hopefully you never have to

But it's like hey just you don't have you're not really dating. It's casual, right? But it's like hey, just you don't have you're not really dating. It's casual right and just just take her put her bench her She's off the starting five. You know what I mean put her on the bench Hopefully you never have to call her up Yeah, hopefully you get into a cup give yourself at least a month break away from this girl Yeah, if you can cultivate another little hookup to help you feel better because that's also part of it you haven't you haven't hit it off with anyone but like cultivate another little hookup to help you feel better because that's also part of it. You haven't you haven't hit it off with anyone but like try to. Now it's survival. And what's telling is he called this a relationship. He acknowledges that because this is so ongoing

this is a form of a relationship. Yeah. Well he says he started fooling around with her right? Yeah. He got out of a different one. I don't think he's got one. Oh, no, but he said he says She's been giving me hell over town You're like you're acknowledging that this is like it's something yeah It's recurring and it's frequent enough that like y'all are having I mean once again, he's by the way How about you get to fuck someone? Yeah

Once again, by the way, how about you get to fuck someone? Yeah, I like head and everything But so you don't want to get you don't actually want to get One nurse that don't be fucking people. Yeah She's lying Your here's the thing, you know how we told you to bench eat to bench her you're on the only suck his dick portion of the team Saving yourself a marriage but sucks your dick all over down with a boyfriend. Okay, buddy That's lunacy but anyway get rid of her get get out of there you're kind of getting Weirdly you're getting weirdly

Connected to somebody who has a boyfriend and won't give you pussy. That's what it really comes down to pal. So move on, move on. What else we got Aldis? Stop you baby. Albanian and just team guest. I'm glad to be calling. Been listening for a long time. Thank you, thank you.

Little fat sput with a great special. Little sput. So this is something that not a lot of people know about. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this.

I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you guys know this. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but I'm sure you be calling, been listening for a long time. Thank you. Little fat spot with a great special. Little stuff. So this is something that not a lot of people in my life can really relate to because I travel for work and I'm on the road 10 days on, then I'm home 10 days, then I'm gone 10 days, then I'm home 10 days. I sell barbecues in like road show style. Nice.

And it's a really great job. I make good money. I see a lot of really cool stuff, but it makes it really hard to meet anybody, you know, like romantically. And I've been in long-term relationships before. Like my last girlfriend, we were together for four years and broke up like five years ago.

I've had some situations since then, you know, dilly-dallying, fuck around, you know, on the road and stuff like that. But overall, dude, I can't even really get hard for just like a rogue's butt anymore. I really want like a real relationship again. I'm ready for it. I'm good at it. I'm good at it

I cook a lot, you know, like I just I'm ready for it But dude meeting a high quality girl with only like a week at home is just rough so what are some ways that I can get out and like actually meet somebody and not have the wasted space and you know the wasted time and Just all that jazz dating apps don't really work for me. I'm banned on tinder for I got anyway I'm banned on tinder just for stupid reasons Shadow band By the bot when I was like suicide swiping, but that's neither here nor there. It's just I'm just I want to meet a girl and you're on the road a lot and I know that you'll

be able to help me out with this. So what are some ways that I can meet somebody of quality? All right, have a good one. Well, I mean, first of all, I think you're I'm going to take your word for it that you got banned unjustly for Tinder and you weren't doing some fucked up stuff on there. But I also think, I have to be honest, I think you are giving yourself an out. Because 10 days home, 10 days gone, yes it's annoying, you have enough time to meet someone. Yeah, 10 days, 10 days.

And it's like, look, think about when you're first starting to date people, you don't see them You know that often you you you know every maybe you know once a once a week you go on a date Oh, what's there for ten days you can see somebody twice twice in that ten-day period yeah first date second date Yeah, take a little break whatever and it's like the thing is it's just gonna take a little longer Right cuz you can't you do have less time, But I thought about this too, where it was like, I told myself I definitely can't have a relationship when I was on the road, and I think I was giving myself the out of luck.

Oh, I can't, so I'm not even gonna allow myself to emotionally believe that I can. So all you have to do, the thing is, you're home enough, and unfortunately, just dating does take time. You know it's like people meet people online You try the other apps I guess but also you just have to be patient and Yeah, it's gonna take you a little longer because if you're only if you're only home half the time That's just logistical problems right yeah, then once you get into a nice relationship You know you could take people to the fucking barbecue show. Yeah, I was gonna come meet you logistical problems right yeah once you get into a nice relationship you know

you can take people to the fucking barbecue show yeah I was gonna meet you it's not that crazy. That was the thing I was gonna say is like there is a level of kind of like fun to your job that there could be a couple of times we go hey have you ever seen Arkansas? Yeah. And they're gonna be like I'm good I'm actually good. You got to see this part though. Yeah. So I mean maybe, maybe take one girl that you've established a longer situation with like on the road. Also if you're meeting people and hooking up with them on the road, be honest about that because that also might be what's holding you back a little bit. Yeah, exactly. It's like, because here's the thing.

I've said I've had this thought before, and then I'll just and I'll go somewhere fun and have a pretty sick couple of weeks. Yeah. I'm like, wait, getting pussy is awesome. You know, I don't need to be in a relationship right now. So I'm a little bit I'm kind of wavering back and forth, but if you really want this Then yeah, it's like dude. Just do like I feel like he's his own worst enemy here where it's like he hamstrings himself As I can't even find it when it's like yeah, you can't dude You just have to like the same way anyone meets anyone. I don't have the secret to that right through friends is always good

Try the apps, you know go to stuff, you know go to events that you like meet like-minded people there that finding a person there's no like There's no secret remedy to that and there's no There's no one person that's gonna do everything and get everything. You're still gonna have to go through the ins and outs of dating with this person. It's not gonna be like, oh, I found this person once, perfect.

You're gonna have to go through a little bit of bullshit no matter what. And it just will, I think it might take you a little longer than usual to feel like you're on, the 10 days thing, it's just gonna take you a little while to establish things. But once you're on, the 10 days thing is just gonna take you a little while to establish things. But once they're established, that's not that big

a challenge all things considered. And you got all this barbecue money that you said, come on. Come on, you're throwing fucking rib tips at her. You're throwing, what are those shits called? Burnt ends. Burnt ends, yeah. Yeah.

You're tossing her burnt ends, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Talks about their burnt ends. Mississippi came right out. I also love the fact that you want a long-term relationship, you're vocal about it, but like that requires work. There's, if you were in the city, it would still require work. Exactly. All you're talking about is an annoying scheduling thing.

And yeah, you might have to talk on the phone more than most people. Yeah, yeah. To feel connected, right? require work. Exactly. All you're talking about is an annoying scheduling thing. Yeah, you might have to talk on the phone more than most people to feel connected. Maybe you see a girl once in 10 days, maybe you have a long phone call on the road, and then you see her again when you come back. Then sometimes you see her twice in a 10 day period. Sometimes she comes out to see you, but it's like, that's all bro. I just know, my number, I guess to boil down my piece of advice is, stop giving yourself the out.

Because I'm doing, I did that last year where I was like, I simply can't have a girlfriend, and I kinda fucked a relationship up with somebody I liked because I just was in that mind frame, and then I thought, wait, fuck, I could've made this work if I really wanted to, right? So stop giving yourself the out. It's gonna take work no matter what. You in a pretty good position and you can figure it out

You just have to realize like fuck I can do this So yeah, we believe in you little buddy. Yeah, and send pics of that food Barbecue equipment we're talking like like smokers. I want to see yeah hit us up. Yeah, can you hook up a smoker? I want one fromoker. Yeah, hit us up. Can you hook up a smoker? I want one from my backyard in Baltimore. Elvis, you got anything fun for us to go out on here, little buddy? Hey, Stavi. I'm here with my fiance.

She's eight centimeters dilated. What? We're going into active labor here in the next couple minutes. And I just want to let you know we're not naming the baby Stavi We did consider it Pretty intensely and Yeah, yeah, Stavro was

Also an option on the table. I don't really have a question, but I just wanted you to be here in this moment with us She'd like to say hello as well Hi, Savvy Oh my god Sounds like a fucking hostage What? You just talked to three people Yeah, yeah, I hope you did that of your own free will

Um 8 centimeters dilated Holy shit, well look, you called in a month ago Or 20 days ago And this won't air for a few more days But so the baby is three months now, yeah, and we love her and we're so happy for her and yeah elders Let's let's contact them. Let's get them some baby clothes for this. Let's give them some baby merch For their cute little daughter here. We'll get you a Stavis world onesie

That's incredible good for them wow oh wow bringing in life wow okay we listen all we want is if somebody has male twins name them Stavin elders just do it fraternals better cuz it'd be funnier and then look if one happens to be taller and one happens to be short and fat, switch their names midlife. Okay? But like all I ask is if you have twins, really consider naming them Stov and Eldas. This is, I will say that person calling during that moment,

very, your wife or your baby mama super cool cool it's cool she's head-stopping yeah she didn't go put the fucking phone nothing what a warrior dude what a warrior about to give birth y'all found each other that's beautiful respect to you holy shit that's well we I'm glad you called in you made the show Yeah, let's literally contact them and give them some fucking baby clothes, man We love you. Good luck to you. Good luck to the baby and good luck to you guys and that's very heartwarming stuff right there, man Jay thank you so much for coming. Thank you for

You were great. We've been talking about this for a while. I know. I love whenever I get to see you. We saw each other in LA and I was like oh my gosh. Yeah that was the festival was awesome. Yeah it was perfect. Yeah so happy to have you and yeah check out Jay and we will talk to you guys next time. Bye bye. Bye.