Stavvy's World - #94 - Sarah Tollemache and Joe List

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

Sarah Tollemache and Joe List return to the pod to discuss the romantic way they met, dodging the perilous fate of moving to New Jersey, struggling to find a good trustworthy babysitter, going sober, meeting each other at rocky times in their lives but it all working out in the end, and much more. Sarah, Joe and Stav help callers including a guy who's wondering if he should get in touch with a former crush from high school through her OnlyFans, and a woman whose friend's fiancé hit on her twice. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/stavvy50 and use code STAVVY50 to get 50% off Factor's delicious, ready-to-eat meals -- plus 20% off your next month. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVVY to score $250 IN BONUS BETS INSTANTLY when you bet just $5 AND get one month of NFL+ Premium. For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Watch Sarah Tollemache's special BUTTHOLE MONEY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyI0le2-__E Follow Sarah Tollemache on social media: www.sarahtcomedy.com https://www.youtube.com/@sarahtollemachecomedy   https://www.facebook.com/ComedianSarahTollemache https://www.instagram.com/stollemache/ https://twitter.com/stollemache Follow Joe List on social media: https://www.comedianjoelist.com/ https://www.facebook.com/comedianjoelist/ https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy/ Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

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Gambling problem? For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario Helpline at 1-866-531-2600. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavisworld 904 800 stop. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We have two stone cold favorites of the podcast. Sir Tolomasch Joe List. Thanks for coming guys. Thanks for having me.

I have to be up there with the most frequented guests, right? You're up there. You're, yeah. Who's higher? I don't know. What is their name? I want it.'re what yeah you're who's who's higher I don't know what is their name I want it it might be you it's gotta be it's probably Joe number four maybe they for I think I've been here like three days my life I was here with Bobby yeah we gotta do that again Thanksgiving oh is that right that I say we make that a tradition can we smoke

again I don't know it's not like shit in here for like three months I couldn't believe you like I didn't consider I was ah it's like weed it'll be gone and like because I've only smoked cigars at Bobby's house He doesn't seem to give a fuck or like a lounge where it just kind of always smells like cigars Yeah, but I should have known something was was wrong because when I said yes, you just like I saw a look on your face I was like really don't fuck this up. Yeah Don't say anything serious. I can see you're like a party was a friend wanted to be like don't do this I mean three cigars in a house is crazy We didn't fan it. We didn't ventilate in this windows closed cigar bars have like smoke eaters. They have like machines. I know no it smelled

Horrific in here for four months afterwards, but it was fun I also did it with Ron on and I think I did two so this is my fifth at least at least six all right I possibly possibly we have the are you garbage crowns, so I just want to have as many Wow Maybe been on there now. I want that I think a good amount eight times or so. Oh wow yeah, you've crushed me Yeah, fuck wow crushed me. Yeah fuck Wow All right. All right. Well you did your second time sir. Thanks for coming God Sarah was here. Yeah, this is our big day. We have a babysitter I figured her in the uber Wow, that's good. Yeah

I was sleeping I was bouncing bits and she snoozed up, so. I figured her. Yeah, she's easily the number one couple in Stavie's world history. Right. Got to be. Well, we're gunning for the power couple of comedy.

I love that. I don't know who we're competing with, though. Rich and Bonnie. That's easy. Yep, done. Done and done, next. Who else is there? We'll just give it to you for now. Yeah, there's been a bunch, they all break up.

Yeah, you guys have some saying power. Yeah. And you've got a baby and herpes between you. Yeah. Right. That's two really strong bonds. I just, just Joe has herpes. you yeah that's two really strong bonds Joe has herpes as far as we know Sarah has not been contained

it's very dormant in me yes yes yes she never has outbreaks this is really frustrating right he's trying so hard my guess is you're not doing too much testing that's right that's a don't really need to know no yeah oh yeah yeah at this point well because it's not like i'm out there right you know so You're not doing too much testing. That's right. That's a don't really need to know Well, cuz it's not like I'm out there right, you know, right Hey, what do you do if she starts getting really? starts really vehemently testing seeing you know Why are you so concerned

Well, I like that Joe's so vocal about it cuz it makes me realize oh He I never have to worry about him hopefully cheating. Right. Well, except for all the girls with herpes. That never stops a guy, though. That's true. That's true. Yeah.

And all the women with herpes, I could fuck. Some of the biggest whores of all time. Absolutely. Yeah. You know, there is too much stigma, but at the same time, definitely some of the sluttiest people do have herpes. Some people that shouldn't have it have it, but then certainly, you know. You don't have it?

I don't have it. Beldas? I don't think so. Wow, you guys want it? Yeah, we'll suck you off right here. Well, I always like. Yeah, let me pull my pants down. Let's compare hogs. I think I just have a couple ingrown hairs I always like my pants down

Let's compare hogs. I think I just have a couple ingrown hairs that I thought were right these ones You know well Jones of being the the beacon for comics to be like hey Do you have you got a lot of text so many dicks Like every 40 I have more dick dick pics than fucking any woman comics ever gotten. It's like what do they think this is? And I'm like, I got like a monocle out and I'm like no, no, that's just a rash. You lied about having herpes to see everybody's cock. The long game. And then I had warts too.

I had warts and herpes. He had warts, yeah. Yeah. Who hasn't? I haven't. I don't think I had warts. When did they burn off your cock? Rush I had I had a yeast

Truly the most vaginal disease in your cock possible you have metapods Speaking of I didn't realize you lightened your hair on vacation now this I noticed right away I know that's that is I felt kind of bad a lot of people have noticed even people who I like Barely see that it like kind of surprised me interest. I got some like leave in hair lightener when I was at a surf shop Go vacation so I was like spraying it on heavy as fuck for a few days. I didn't think it would really do shit. Then like one day, like I got back to New York and I looked in the mirror and I was like,

holy fuck, this looks red. I need to chill out. You look like a redhead. You didn't notice that? He's a redhead. He looks like fucking Santino. Yeah. I guess it doesn't look that different to me.

What can I say? He's a better looking Andrew Santino. Yeah, absolutely. It does, your hair is the same color as your face Maybe that's why I didn't notice the red just blends in seamlessly I stopped I thought I thought it'd be kind of fun to like have blonde or hair or something But then I was like god my beard is always so thick like I hate that shitty like bleach contrast with like dark beard So I hit the brakes hard on that shit You did have as a as a this guy very cute baby very cute young man

He had bleach blonde very blonde hair shock of blonde hair. Yeah chubby cheeks though. You were a cute kid, man Thanks, man hit hit by a car when he was six. That's I remember here. That's how long we've been friends. I remember hearing about that happening in kindergarten Being like we're zeldas. Oh, he got hit by a car. Oh, this is dead As a kid you don't think of getting hit by cars something you bounce back from yeah, but you did it man That was fucked but did you just was just war wasn't it just you? But did you just was just war wasn't just you? I was like crossing the street my grandma She was holding my bike and I didn't want to wait for like traffic to stop to try to cross it by myself

Let's get hit by like some convertible. I woke up on the curb like my sister was crying into like some strangers arms But I feel like I was out of there in like a night, you know around me. I feel like I was out of there in like a night, you know, nice. It wasn't that hard. I think Albanian school, right? Not the wind out of me. I like pass the wind. It's a fucking car. That's great. Yeah. Show your superhero showing stuff.

So yeah, who's a podcast producer yeah that's what super I gotta keep the low-key day job so you know I could do the crazy shit at night yep so you can have a say the your your yeast infection man every time you have a yeast infection you're having the powers of Superman but your cock has to be fucking all moist and I don't even know it's gotta be a sweltering summer just adding fucking the crescent rolls to your fucking boxer briefs to get powers stop is that finger is that from when we were talking on the phone we were talking on the phone and I sliced my finger deep. It was bad, dude.

I didn't need to get stitches, but after we talked I went to urgent care. I was holding my finger, I was holding my finger, and it wouldn't stop bleeding for an hour and a half. I was like, and I took it out, I was like, all right, this is pretty bad, I should go. And then the lady started working on it,

I couldn't feel it, I was like, she started going crazy on it, and I felt nothing. I was like she started like going crazy on it I felt nothing I was like oh fuck am I about to lose this fucking shit Because I wanted because I wanted even zucchini slices on a mandolin I was cutting zucchinis and potatoes to mandolins are like a death box I play the mandolin the captain Kareli's mandolin. Oh, there's not one instrument. It's an instrument It's also the slicer. To get even cucumbers.

Yes, zucchinis in my case, and potatoes. I would have loved if you lost your finger like Jerry Garcia. Dude, it was, yeah, it was gnarly too. When I took it out, it was like, half of it was just white. And it's like, and you could like squish the, you could see the meat like when I squished it, it was like, and you could like squish the, you could see the meat like

when I squished it, it was like, I could see into my finger. It was so fucked up. So no stitch? No stitch, because it was just, it just kind of sliced right at the nail bed. So it was like I sliced the meat off of the, oh, it was bad. But you know, I'm persevering. And you stayed on the phone. Yeah, you did. Stayed on the phone. Because it was one of of those where oh, this isn't a big deal Haha, if I'm talking on the phone, there's no way I've made a huge error that could fuck my finger up forever

It was like being like I played in the when I tore my planner fascia I stayed in the basketball game at the skanks fest memorial Podcasters basketball tournament because I wanted to pretend I was fine. And I remember telling people like, all right, I'm gonna go ice this, I'll see you guys later. And then I got my, and then I like left and the like adrenaline wore off and I was just like, ah!

And I just was in here for six weeks. I didn't leave this apartment for six weeks, it was brutal. But yeah dude, tough slice. You're doing it. I'm bouncing back, it's all right. You look great. Yeah.

You're all cleaned up. I know, I'm experimenting with something new, you know? I like it. Thank you. Yeah. Make it easy, Sarah. Yeah, thanks Sarah. Easy.

Easy. Yeah, thanks Sarah. You know, I don't have herpes either. Switch seats. Switch seats. Yeah, but then Jess, like she's old though. Yeah, she's too old to get it. Yeah. I have herpes either. She's old though. Now you can have her.

Trying to move on. We're moving. Did you know that? Where? We're out of Astoria. Moving on up. October 10th. October, mid October. OK. All right. But you're going to hang, right? Hang a couple Astoria. Yeah, yeah moving on up when over 10th or top mid-october. Okay. All right Yeah, but you're gonna hang right a couple times. Yeah, I've barely been here Are you moving to the city you moving to the bird over Manhattan? Oh, there we go. Never lived in Manhattan Never you know, I'm thinking about doing the same thing Yeah, I was a park now

Yeah, I was gonna move and then because it's tires is happening in the fall So I was gonna get a place It was gonna get like a sublet in the fall to just try it out and see if I like the city But then I think I'm gonna have to be in Pennsylvania half of the fall So it doesn't really make sense, but I think when I get done from the tour next year I think I'm gonna get a nice place in Manhattan. Yeah, let's do it. Everyone's doing it You were talking about moving a fucking Jersey. I was gonna get a nice place in Manhattan. Yeah, let's do it. Everyone's doing it. You were talking about moving a fucking Jersey I was gonna start crying. No

Brutal Sarah never really spoke up though Could have moved us to Missouri Looking at the tunnel to get in just never Appealing it would have been over. Don't get me wrong. You guys would have had a nicer quality of life, but you would have come here as often as you go to Boston now. Right. As often as you see your family.

Well that would turn into these people too that are like, you gotta come over here. Yes, yes. Everyone does because everyone's just projecting. But you should come to Battery Park City. I will. I will. Isn't that where Karen lives? Karen's there. Colin's there. It's close to't that where is that where Karen lives Karen's there Collins there

It's close to the village the seller my niece is there. We've got great parks right on the water We're worried about this niece She's 19. Does that run in the family? She's 19 years old. You met her but she was 11 when you met her. She definitely remembers you. She's like, is that the naked retard in the fire truck? That's right. The pool table. I was naked on her pool table. In her pool table, yeah. Yes, that was a good trip, man.

Yeah, great trip. My whole family's like, you're friends with that guy? I was nude on your... I like asked Joe's family, just... they're hosting me and Tim, right? We're doing the like thing. And I'm like, Joe, what do you think if we pitch this to your... I gotta get a naked picture on this fucking pool table. These nice people never met me. I'm like, alright, everybody clear out so I can put my bare ass cheeks on your pool table. These nice people never met me. I'm like, all right, everybody clear out so I can put my bare ass cheeks on your pool table. And they all did.

Yes, and for some reason, I think it was like, because we were doing the firefighter benefit. For some reason we had a bunch of cash. That's right. And Tim Dillon has a cigar in his mouth and he's holding a thousand dollars in cash. That's right. And he's betting on you, naked, making a shot.

Yeah, yeah. And then we went to the fire house. My uncle's a fireman, all my uncles are firemen. Shout out to Uncle Dale. Uncle Dale, baby big cock on him. We went down there and he was drunk He's like he was at the show and he was like, yeah, you guys can go down there and we just got naked on the fire truck He's like I'm gonna you gotta get me kicked off. I know we had to take it down because it was like you could clearly see like Me naked wearing the hats and hat and boots and we had to take it down. Yeah, like the whole apartment. It was just me naked wearing the hats and hat and boots.

And we had to take it down. Yeah. Like the union was like, what are you on your mind? That was great fun. But anyways, yeah, my niece is single. So good luck to her in battery park, but I'm glad that you guys have a, you guys have a nice, that sounds nice. Yeah.

We got, we got babysitting options so we can go out and do podcasts. Beautiful. Right now we have a man watching art kids Text it a couple times fliers in our We kind of run out for a tight 90 we gotta do stop his world We gotta run out for a tight 90. We gotta do Stafi's World. It is scary though, because even men you've known 20 years,

I feel like, I'm not a hate man guy. I defend men a lot. You're not a misandrist. Yeah, I'm not one of these guys that hates men, but I feel as far as child molestation goes, it's about 10x men to women, right? Definitely, definitely. Absolutely.

Maybe 50x if you count the priests, which I do. I think, oh yes, brave stance. There's a guy from the Boston area that's huge to count that. Yes, I think absolutely, 50 might be right, honestly. Can we get a reading on that, Elvis? That's got to be Googleable, right? I think absolutely 50 might be right, honestly. Can we get a reading on that, Elvis? That's gotta be Googleable, right? Men to women child molestation.

Yeah, what are the numbers? Oh, the women one are teachers. Yeah, and they're older. They get to know them, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they do what you're trying to do with my knees. Grooming, I'm not trying to groom your knees. 93.6% of sexual abuse offenders were men. Yeah., that's just you get sentenced. Yeah, good point. Well, that's yeah, it's the glass ceiling on that one Like yes trying to break that any of women molesting can't get a cop's attention to save her life

How many boys do I have to suck off? How many babies do I have to suck off before the cops will arrest me Wow? 93.6. We are dominating. Yeah. You guys are doing it. Regardless of the victim's gender, women are perpetrators in about 14% of cases reported

against boys and about 6% of cases reported against girls. Yeah. Girls don't, lesbians aren't pedophiles. No. No, but they do the grooming, like the Epstein. There's a galeen for a lot of pedophiles. Is it a gay g do the grooming like the Epstein there's a galeen there's a lot of yeah oh you mean women not not not he said lesbians oh yeah is galena lesbian do we know I don't think that I think she's well I'm just saying women on women yeah I don't think you're really a lesbian you're a

pedophile right you don't go sexuality with pedophilia you're not like he's no I don't think it matters you know he's a pedophile, right? You don't go sexuality with pedophilia. You're not like, he's gay. No, I don't think it matters. You're like, he's a pedophile. I think Jared, then when I watched the Jared doc, he didn't care. Oh, he was a bisexual pedophile. Well don't you think?

Now that is kinda odd, I think. He's fine. I think that you don't hear it so much, yeah. That's interesting. I didn't know that about Jared. I guess I assumed he was a gay pedophile. Just cause of the glasses and the khakis. Yeah, I think he did everything.

Interesting, interesting stuff. Well, hopefully your child isn't getting molested by that guy right now. I think he's good, he's good. He's young. Great guy. He's a dad. I'll just check in on him real quick. Oh baby, here we go. Summer's almost over. The fall chill crisp is in the air. It's getting busy over here at Stoppie Baby Enterprises. We got the podcast. I got the tour coming up. We're shooting tires. I'm all over the place. And what's going to make it very easy for me to stick to my weight loss goals. I'm already down 45 pounds so far this year, folks, is my friends at Factor Meals. Easy, chef curated, great ingredient meals. All you gotta do is warm them up.

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with this haircut and this little weight loss and just wait till we just wait till you see what we got coming thanks in part to our friends here at Factor Meals so head to factor meals dot com slash Stavi 50 and use code Stavi 50 STAVVY50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That's code STAVI50 at factor meals dot com slash STAVI50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Do you have cameras? All good. One camera.

Well, we have a camera on his bed. Yeah, on his bed. Yeah. Nice. So I guess we could check that. Yeah. Yeah, you can actually hear conversations happening in the room. Like I was thinking about I was walking home from a run the other day and I was like, I wonder if they're talking about me. And then I was like, that's none of my business. Yeah. Marty? No. I know. I know. Just a couple more years, buddy. And then I'll

get a hotter new wife. We won't have to put up with her I get it get out of here. Let's the next special does some numbers Who knows you know who knows what we can do? speaking of specials What a pro we should get this out there you have a special right now, but whole money Yeah, yes on YouTube right now Go watch it. That's right. When I executive produced it,

I felt like we should really. Yeah. That was a bit funny. I took over. Yeah, Joe did produce it. I was just doing a bit. Come on. Well, I was giving you credit.

Looks great. Well, I do always get like self-conscious to have my husband play as a big part of my career. It's not very feminist, but then I'm like, let's fuck it, Hollywood is all about nepotism. So I get over it. You directly worked for it. Right, I created all the-

You had to fuck this herpes-ridden guy. This herpes-ridden alcoholic. Carrie's child. Yeah, Carrie's child, you know, other people just born into a rich family. You had to just kind of get here to the middle. It was not even like a multi-millionaire or anything. It was really hard to get to the middle.

Yeah. It actually was. I don't see a lot of people in the middle moving to Battery Park City. Okay? That's not exactly a middle neighborhood. Although, you did say we'll be the poorest people in Battery Park.

I said, we're going from the wealthiest people in Astoria to the poorest people in Banner. We're going to be apartment poor. Yeah. Yeah. And then as I said that, I'm looking at you and you have a lot more money than me. My apartment is worse. No, no, not this guy. No, you don't pay well.

No, no, not at all. We're going to get him up to $12 an hour this year if he's good. If he's good, you know? I know some of you guys make so much money that I'm like, maybe I'll get into podcast producing. Yeah, you're on the wrong side of the camera, Sarah. Right. Make some clips.

Hopefully the clip economy. Picks up? No, just falls apart at some point. You know, but the special is great. Specials. It looks awesome. It's on YouTube. It's sweeping the nation at a slow pace.

OK, I have the bodega. They're talking about butthole money, right? You go in there, the guy, the guy doesn't speak English. He's saying butthole money. He's playing it. Scooby-Doo,'t speak English. He's saying butthole money. He's playing it. He's playing it. Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, the butthole money.

Yeah. Yeah. Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Sarah Talamash. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting impressions.

I would love that. You go to a country you've never been to before and they're just yelling out your name. Yeah, that'd be great. Really, I had no idea I'm huge in India. Yeah. Michael Richards told that story. He went to Africa to like get away and then like they had like a long extension cord into this like hut and all these like you know black village

people were like that's crazy. Yeah. He's like he was like in the condo That's fucking awesome. Yeah, I mean that show was so fucking big huge the biggest show of all time Why watch the special talk about the special tell them it's great. It's very good. It is great I'm really proud of it. I The production was incredible and it's at Grove 34, which is like so grown It's it's a huge space, but you guys made it look awesome It sounded great. Well, there's great laughs in there It really is it's sound have a bad set in there. I really like that though. I have had a

Yeah, I've seen some stinkers You can have a bad set anywhere, but no it was killer. Sarah's nine months pregnant. You look hot. We had sex that night. That's what's important. That's awesome. Congrats. Congrats, guys. Thank you.

Thank you. How does that work when the baby's, you know, when you're that pregnant? He's just covered in jizz. Yeah. When he comes off. He's covered in jizz. He's like a fucking cinnamon glazed dough.

Yeah. Can I tell you, it's the best sex ever. Norman's dealing with it right now. You gotta fuck a pregnant chick. Cause it's all, what is it? The hormones and the business? Okay, you do get hornier. Interesting.

Hornier and like fast orgasms. Like hard, fast orgasms. Yes, yes. Interesting. It's like steroids. It's almost like you have an orgasm in your brain. Yeah. And the tits get all big and veiny.

That's cool. I'm all about that. Cause you're not veiny. Yeah, all the wacky. It's a big road mappy. I've seen some videos. I have seen a vein or two. No, it's the best.

I want to have another kid. She's 51, but just so we can have another pregnant sex. Yeah. Uh-oh. This is dusty. No, it was great. It's a-oh. This is dusty. No, it was great. It's a great special. Check it out.

Check it out. It's right on damn YouTube. See, that's the thing. It's a good reason to get married or have a kid just so you can experience pregnant. Because if you don't have a kid, you're going to go your whole life without ever fucking a pregnant lady. Wow, who knows about that? I don't know about that.

That's a good point. You get them early in the first trimester. You want to get them in the third and second. Yeah, you want the third. Plus, it's my only chance to fuck a fat lady. I know for a fact that's not true. No, no. Soberly.

Sober as an adult. I've heard at least five discrete stories about you fucking fat ladies from you. Only. Yeah. I was just talking about this the other day, I think on Tuesdays, where all these people would be like, Lis loves the fat girl, that's this thing. And I'm like, no, I hate them. I have no self-esteem.

They're disgusting. I just think that's what I could get. I'm appalled by fat women. I hate myself. I hate them. It's just no one's having a good time. I'm just like, oh, alright. They can pick up on my vibes. I had a big heavy girl in Plattsburgh, New York that she broke a tile, like that's how big she was, in the bathroom tile.

And then she was blowing me on, she was on the toilet blowing me and she pissed, it was like straight up fire hose. me and she pissed it was like Jarring That's tough stuff. And it was like a jarring bit. It was like a fucking, you know, like a race riot. At a shop? Of course. Oh yeah, yes, yes, yes, the fire hose. Yeah, what were you gonna say, Sam? Oh, I still love the story of the girl

that fucked you hard to buck cherry. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That was in Hartford, I did a bit of a couple bits about it but I've told the story before but like yeah I met her at City Steam and then she was like coming back and she was like hot she was a hot although she was probably like 35 and I was 25 so it was like oh shit and she had like a Mustang and like she was just driving like 90 miles an hour on the

highway like weaving it out and was just playing and then when she fucked me she was like on me and like yeah you fucking nerd and she had literally had crazy bitch on repeat and then I told at the time I was on Paxil and drinking and I have a hard time coming even not on it at the Preston's I just get in my head and we were fucking and she was like if you don't come I'm gonna be pissed and that I was like I dude like I'm really sorry I'm just not gonna be able to yeah but I'm enjoying that I'm like having a nice time and she got mad and she drove me back like she drove back to my hotel and we're just back in the highway. No crazy bitch this time.

Just driving silently. Just silence? Yeah. Tough, dude. That's... Also the fat girl, at the time, I was with my friend Tom Dustin. Did you come when the fat girl blew you?

No, I never came on One Night Stands, ever. Never came? No. How did you play that off? I was just like, okay. I was just like, I'm drunk or whatever. Yeah, I had a lot of problems. Have you ever faked busting inside of a condom?

I've heard of some guys doing that. I think I have maybe. I've done that a couple times. Yeah. Yeah. Gross. What? Faking busting? No, just you with a condom. I'm sorry. Condoms are yucky. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, overall dog. The guy from, that's herpes. Yeah. The rubber is just really kind of gross. Yeah, overall dog the guy from who has herpes Yeah, oh that girl this is yeah, this is literally like 25 years ago And I was with Tom Dustin my friend who I just made a documentary about I want to plug that I don't know yes, please this actually will come out pretty soon right in September. Okay October 10th. We're doing a premiere Let me know if you're around if you want to come you probably out of town. It's in Village East cinemas I made a documentary full-length feature. Oh, yeah, and it's a good movie. It's really exciting and then we're gonna have it on punch-up

We'll sell it cool. You're screening it in yeah, you're doing in New York great It's gang fest to have this before that but anyways he was in the same room having sex with a lady I'm saying bathroom? No, they were in the, we went to the bathroom for privacy. I see, I see. One out of animals. One out of animals. Yeah, yeah. So she asked me for my phone number

and at the time all I had was house number. I didn't have a cell phone number. And for some reason, and Tom always got mad at me, I thought if I gave a fake number, he'd be like, nah, that's not his number. So I just gave my actual number. And Tom like nah that's not his number so I just gave my actual number and Tom was like I would never do that to you yeah so anyways four days later my mother's like someone named whatever her name Barbara

called wait you called your family's house yeah I lived at home. You gave lived at home? I was like 21 years old. You gave her the Liz family landline? Yeah, she called Deb. And my mother was like, yeah, she said, she said, I asked, will he know who you are? And she said, oh, he knows who I am. My mother had to like retell the story to me. And I was like, oh my God, I had to crinkle it up and throw it away. That's insane that the lady who pissed

while sucking your dick has talked to your mother. Yeah, yeah. It's so bad. And asked where you are. lady who pissed while sucking your dick has talked to your mother. Yeah, yeah. It's so bad. And asked where you are. And gave her the, like, he knows who I am. Oh, he knows. Yeah, I did something real special.

That's fucking hilarious, dude. Yeah, that's bad. I had very low self-esteem and very serious drinking problem. And that's how I got Sarah. Right, right, right, right. That's right. And that was in a very low point in my life. Yeah, that shit was going bad for both of you. Well, Sarah didn't want to date me because I had herpes. I was in a very low point in my life.

That shit was going bad for both of you. Well, Sarah didn't want to date me because I had herpes and just shit in a shoe. It was questionable. And he had shit in a shoe. That was fresh, the shit in a shoe story. Very fresh. And I wasn't, I was trying to leave that world behind.

Of course. And I was like, you gotta be kidding. Can I just say it worked out really well. I was trying to work out a bit like this. Sometimes you just have to push through those red flags and sometimes there's a nice green grass on the other side of those red flags. Yeah.

On paper it wasn't great. On paper it made the absolute worst choice she could have. I had no money. Sucked back in. No money, herpes, and had just shit in a girl's shoe. Just shit in a girl's shoe. Just shit in a girl's shoe. And what was going on with you? What was your life? I was newly sober. Okay. You still weren't, you were still drinking.

Yeah. Okay. When I shit in the shoe, yeah. I don't know. Maybe a long road trip, you know. A lot of oatmeal. Yeah, you were doing okay. Yeah. You were sober, you were working.

Yeah, I had about a year or two years of sobriety. But then I was gonna probably break up if he didn't get sober, but I never did an ultimatum. So he did it all on his own. Yeah, we had a moment at the Caroline's Christmas party. I went, it was open bar and I went out drinking. Those Christmas parties how many comedians start sobriety because of one of those open bars? Right. That was the funniest idea me and my friend Ira Proctor great comic that

used to drink like a maniac with me we always thought it was the funniest you have comedians having a holiday party like we just let our hair down right right right a few drinks and just cool out yeah yeah yeah yeah that is like you're in the office and tie working hard of course tonight we're gonna have a couple of guys the people that have been getting drunk after like a weekly show every week three times a week Yeah, that's awesome But anyways, we closed the party and then me and Phil Hanley and Norman went to a diner

We were like drinking beers at the diner This is actually almost at the end was my last Christmas party drinking and I was coming home at like 8 in the morning And I bumped into Sarah on her way to her job the morning and I bumped into Sarah on her way to her job. Oh my god. I was like, hey. I remember being like, Joe? And I'm like, hey man, where you off to? I'm like in corporate wear.

Yeah. Yeah, that was bad. Yeah, it's all right. We got through it all. Yeah, we got through it all. Just another year of drinking after that? Yeah. And we hate confrontations, so we're married. Yeah

Just both avoiding an argument. Yeah joke like You know in wedding speeches. It's always like I just knew the moment I saw him ours is like I just when I first saw Joe is like this Okay Yeah, I don't remember meeting No memory Yeah, okay. Yeah, I don't remember meeting Seth. Literally. I was like, ah, she's just around. No memory.

She remembers. It was at the Creek, right? It was at the Creek and then I think we did a Shiba Mason show and you were like fucked up. That's awesome. Just a bringer and he's drunk. Yes. Oh yeah, I was with a girl when we went, did the Shiba Mason show.

I was with my girlfriend then. That's also weird because Sarah got to watch me go through a horrific breakdown. Oh, he was devastated. Yeah. Just devastated. And he was just a guy who was around? You had no- Right, he lived two blocks over.

That was also another selling point, is like, I love that Joe was just so close. Well then you like- I just get so lazy. I'm tired of going to Brooklyn. I just want a guy that lives two blocks away from me. That's awesome. Yeah, you can walk home and well also Sarah, I'm like bad with signals.

So at the, we had like a fake comedy award show, the Laker Awards. And I won the Gentleman's Gentleman award for being the nicest guy. But basically it was because I shit in a girl's shoe. And I thought it would be funny to be like this has been a weird year I got herpes so I just announced that I had herpes which was not this is 15 years ago that wasn't nobody was doing it nobody's doing it now so then I came back and Sarah was like hey I think it's really good that you said it's really nice.

And I thought like, this bitch has herpes and wants to fuck. But it turns out she's actually just a nice person who was trying to be supportive. And so I was like, I read you. Yeah. Ah, it's on. Yeah. And then I was actually shocked that she didn't have herpes.

I was like, oh, you don't have herpes? Why did you say that was cool? I was like, you're gross. Because I had empathy for you? Yeah, I was like, gross. yeah. Because I had empathy for you. Yeah. I just get so annoyed when people you tell you have herpes that they get so weird. Like even when you do it as a joke, like I was talking about as a joke on stage, because I remember the time that Joe wanted to start having unprotected sex.

And I was like, I don't know. But one of the big things that held me back, I was like, can we wait until I get a better job? I didn't want to be a waitress with herpes. I'd rather be like a successful comic with herpes. Yeah. That makes sense. I kind of know what you're talking about from like a just.

Like I don't need another thing to make me feel bad about myself, but then it's also like I Wish more people just talked openly that they have this stuff because it's actually not that big of a deal I actually we have our friend Ben Benny butt cheeks He went on a pro herpes rant and it is statistically most people probably have it and you probably fuck somebody that has had her Yeah, I definitely I know that I have they yeah Most people probably have it. And you've probably fucked somebody that has had her. Yes. Or has her face. I definitely, I know that I have. They told me I did, right? Afterwards.

That's how I got it. One girl did say afterwards, actually, which kind of pissed me off. So it's like. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. She was hot, too. If only she.

Do you know her name or Instagram handle or anything like that? I don't, actually. No, I don't. Number. She had red hair. I'll text her. Yeah. Okay. We'll talk you after. I'll text you after.

We'll talk, but. Yeah. But yeah, I think it is actually way too stigmatizing. Most people have it. It's actually not that big a fucking deal. No. I've told this story before too. I had sex with a woman one time, or no, I almost did.

Like, there was only a few people I had to tell because I had this brief period before Sarah and I started dating but I remember telling this woman like we were in bed like making out and I was like I gotta let you know I have herpes and she was like oh well you're doing all the things you do to get herpes yeah yeah me being considerate away from getting herpes. Like I met you two hours ago. Right, right.

And we're in your bed. So I could be a complete piece of shit and you could ever be just like that. Yeah, yeah, and then this is like, it's not that crazy. I just got it by doing what you're doing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, she was awful. And that reaction is not going to make me

be forthright with information. Yeah, I was like, all like, I won't tell anybody. They're like, just kidding. And then you fuck her. Just kidding. I'm kidding. I don't have herpes. Kind of them forget about it. But I always know who's boss. I always say this, though, if you have herpes, if you're a woman with herpes

and you want to fuck a guy and you're nervous, just tell him after your tits are already out. Because that's what happened to me and I was like, she could have told me she had razor blades in her pussy. I was like, well we're fucking, I don't care. Whatever. That's interesting because we've got, haven't we gotten this question before on the podcast?

And I said something, I didn't think about tits, but I just said like, after making out. Because that's what happened to me. One girl didn't tell me until afterwards and then one girl were making out and she's like, hey, I've heardpes. I'm like My dick is hard Fucking at this point. It's like we use a condom. She's on meds. Whatever, you know, I didn't use a condom though. That's that's insane

Jeff Westl Schmidt was like had a joke. I think maybe a joke about Joe, was like he basically just poured herpes all over his dick. What are you gonna do? Well, she was a nice girl and I had feelings for her. I get it. Yeah. And you know, also I didn't have sex with a lot of people I liked. I liked her.

Right. Right, right, right. You weren't gonna let pesky herpes get in the way of that. Absolutely not. Yeah. Oh baby, football season's here. First couple weeks have been fun. My Ravens are gonna get on track. I can feel it in my bones.

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like that you've had sex with? I can probably count them. That's a shocking question, because it's like everybody can answer that being like, you know, sadly, only a small handful. I'm coming up with like five. Well, it's like girlfriend. I'm trying to think and like. Well, a lot of girls just feel bad because they get to a certain point. You know what I mean? Yeah, there's a lot of guilt involved. Yeah. It's easier to say to just fuck somebody then like be like deal with the emotional energy that you have to deal with

I'm gonna say five five Undisclosed That's interesting, yeah, you gotta be in the triple digits? I don't know. I'm not counting. Well some of them you're just like, well I don't even really know them. Yeah, exactly.

I could, who knows? Maybe I'm really compatible with a few of them. I might like them. Yeah, if I got to know them maybe. Maybe I might like them a lot. If we had spoken. Sure. Yeah, confirmed five I think. I like them a lot

Yeah confirmed five I think between yeah girlfriends and people I did it's actually probably slightly more than that Well, anyone I liked I was too nervous to ask to have sex. I was too like It was only people I really just had to stay in for that I was like Not giving a fuck situation. Yeah, and then this was more of a, you guys were just kind of, you just wore each other down, or what was the, you kind of just were around for a while. I think I wore you down. I kept being like, why don't we just date?

We're buddies, come on. And then, and then I remember you and Nikki Glaser were like talking about boys, and I had to be like, we got to not be friends. I can't be like friends with a girl I want to have sex with if she's talking about boys. He was worried he was getting into the friend zone. Of course. I was like, this is just gay. I don't even like, I'm like, I can't like try to fuck you.

And then you'd be like, yeah, I want to fuck this guy. So I kind of severed the, I was like, we can't really be friends. And then shortly after that, you were that you were like let's go hang out You can get does unfortunately work. Yeah, I'm unfortunate. You should be clear about what you want I just like Joe was just really nice, and I got along with him. Yeah like other people Relationships I've been in like sometimes yours like I actually don't know if we like each other. Right, right. But that dick is so good. Am I right, sister? Yeah.

But you got a guy like Joe, he's nice, dick's okay. Great dick. Beautiful dick. Tell them about my dick. Guys, it's glorious. Beautiful dick. Big thumbprint on it from masturbating. I got a phallus. Herpes scars.

Wart removal scars. It's been through a lot. It's been through a lot. It's been through a lot. Through the wringer, baby. Yeah, it's got character. It really is like a beautiful antique piece. But we were buddies, we lived down the street and we just said, hey, we'll give it a try.

We could just hang out. I just enjoyed your company. That's sweet. I wish I could say the same, but. Yeah. I know, I know. That's sweet. I wish I could say the same. I know. I know. Well, it's gotten a lot worse. That's right. That's romance, baby. No, it's great. It's always easy.

Now we got little Marty in the mix. Marty's in the mix, baby. I gotta come by and see him. I bet he does a bunch of others. He's got a tooth now. He has one tooth. It's a lateral incisor. Everybody's bottom. You can't find anything on Google that says anybody's ever had this happen It's always the front bottom and he's got this one Right. Yeah, it's like a little can opener. I love it

But yeah, you're the you're the answer to a trivia question first first comedic friend to to visit I was there the first time he shit. Yeah. Yeah, you go. I remember that I remember you guys be like he shit He took his first shit I was there as he shot it's crazy Yeah, you're holding him with like your hands like this which is crazy a little football. Yeah, he was little as hell Yeah, you gotta come come I gotta come see you eat food now Wow, what's his fave? What's his favorite food? He likes oatmeal with bananas. Mmm. Does he have a favorite banana's favorite fruit? It's up there. Strawberries. Strawberries like strawberries.

My friend's kid loves watermelon. He's a big watermelon guy. He likes that make these watermelon popsicles for him because it feels good on his gums. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Have you given him anything unhealthy yet? Or is he too drunk? I gave him chocolate cake today. Oh, yeah. Some mac and cheese. Yeah. Fried chicken and french fries. We went fucking cheese. Yeah. Oh, and fried chicken too.

And french fries. We went fucking crazy. I just realized, as I'm listing this, I'm like, holy shit. You're not kidding? No, we were in a birthday party. He has one tooth and he gave him fucking french fries and fried chicken.

Well, it was our friend's birthday party. Our friend Lewis CK. I'll just say this, Chris Rock was there, okay? All right, nice. His first black, he did okay. He did okay. He did Boston okay. He's screaming the whole time. Tries to bite him.

He's got his zip tie in his hand. It's fucking crazy. I don't know where he got them. We've been around many black people, I'm only kidding. Ian Lara, he loved Ian Lara. Me and Jackson. He thought he was another baby. Me and Jackson, Ian Lara.

Love that. Another one somewhere. It's worse if you list them. It's worse if you try and tick them off. I think he was with one homo at a point. I think he was near a queer. Yeah. We're trying to mark all the boxes.

Yeah. Smart, smart. No, but he did eat, yeah, we gave him french fries, mac and cheese, a little bit of fried chicken and chocolate cake. Hell yeah. That's all. Just a little bit. And then he barfed on my shirt.

Yeah, yeah. Somehow we barfed. I don't know. Respect, yeah. It's probably barfing all over Tony right now. Yeah. How are we doing on time? Because we do, we got to get them over there. Oh yeah, yeah. I want to get to some ice.ing all over Tony right now. Yeah, I was doing on time because we do we we got to get them over there Oh, yeah, we're 42 right now. Oh beautiful. We're right on time for some for some questions

Then just making sure our babysitter hasn't written. All right Let's yeah, let's solve some questions here. Some some problems go see the special. It's right now available It's on YouTube. We have a link on where you're watching it. Oh, can I plug town hall November 9th? Absolutely town hall November 9th. I'm Not sold out town hall November 9th go see our friend Joey. Thank you, New York City What do you got for us I just saw a veil this So I had a little bit of a come up a couple years ago And since I've been treating myself to a full body massage

Once every six weeks or so, okay The massage therapist is really really good. She's used to work with my wife But the problem is that my wife and I have been together for like nine years now and she barely touches me So whenever I'm like on the table on my back and this woman is working my shoulders and neck and all that shit It is taking every ounce of self-control. I have to not pitch a full fucking tent underneath the You know Professional masseuse He met this lady cuz she worked with his wife This is crazy that it's not like anyway, that's just so fucking funny. He's clearly going to the most legitimate place possible

Yeah, yes, she's playing scrubs. Anyway, you go. You know this like a sports therapist. Yeah, yeah, yeah! There's an old lady rehabbing her fucking hip in the next room. Go ahead, Eldis, let's finish this up. The massage blanket. It is, you know, I've been succeeding so far. I've been just keeping it at half-masked. And, you know, I feel like if you are a size therapist you should take a little bit of gentle to mess with as a compliment

but yeah I don't know I've been trying to just think about shit like Dungeons and Dragons or like you know how can I avoid creeping this girl out. I got a lot of thoughts. Yeah, go ahead, Joe. Go ahead. Well, first of all, this is a very funny guy. You can tell it's a funny guy. I want to hang with this guy. But also, very impressive that you have your wife's friend giving you a full body massage and you're managing to not be hard. If any one of my wife's friends touched my body, I would be fucking, I would cum. She's a co-worker. I think, no, no, no, I think his wife. It sounds like it's a woman who gave his wife massages or something. Yeah, essentially it used to work with my wife.

Okay, she's a masseuse. Okay. Yeah, the way I read, we used to work with my wife is, she's my wife's masseuse. Right, okay. Yes, that's how I got it. Okay, I was thinking it was like, hey, I'm going out to see your high school buddy. You know that girl he used to work at the restaurant with?

She's going to give me a full body rubdown. I was thinking, what? I was like, your wife is a gloat. At 9 p.m. at night? Weird. But yeah, my minute thought is go to a rub and tug. Just get it rubbed out. Well, I think he doesn't want to, right?

See if he's married. Why don't you pay your wife? What? Yeah, I'm just like, maybe pay your wife. Maybe she'll touch you like that. Pay your wife to jerk you off. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my fucking life. I would love to get paid to joke.

I love that we just get divorced during this. Well, maybe if you just did it on your own. Yeah. So I mean, how do you not get hard during a massage? There's also so many little threads that don't really get pulled out here. Like the whole, my wife hasn't touched me for nine years. That's something we're supposed to just gloss over. Well, they're together nine years and now she barely touches. So that might have been a new development. Yeah what's that about? Maybe because you're going to a massage therapist frequently.

And you also had a come up. What's the come up? Right. Like did he lose a lot of weight? Did he get a high paying job? Must be financial right? I think that's money. Yeah. That's why you can afford the massage. So it's like, okay, come up, your wife are doing, you and your wife are doing poorly. It's like, why is your question, how do I not get hard during the massage and not how do I get my wife to show me physical affection again?

Well, this is what I said. Like isn't that so much more important? Here's some real advice. I would say go get a couple's massage so you can at least have it going together and then maybe try to use this. Bring this into the bedroom. Or have a guy massage you. But he's trying to get hard here. That's not going to help.

Okay, so we're trying to get him hard. What's our goal? His wife, I say bring this in go hey, I I gotta tell you between you and me, whenever I get a massage it kinda fuckin' makes me, what do you think about that? And maybe you can do a little role play, spice it up. The role play's not bad. I say if you pretend that the first time you got hurt was when your wife was there. Right.

Hey. Something about being with you in that massage, that situation, normally I don't find them erotic But when you were there, they got my dick really hard A lot of women will be like yeah, I totally get it you get comfort boners Like boners when you're like, I remember. Yeah when you're like comfortable Places that you're like I would Like you guys get boners at places that you're like, I would never expect for you to get a boner.

Yeah, bumpy ride. So it's not like, yeah. So it wouldn't like, it wouldn't be super surprising where you're like, oh, I totally get it. But I see what you're saying. And this may be a bit of a stretch, but I think that's not a bad idea to kind of be like, hey, why don't I, something about being in there with you

kind of turned me on, why don't I try giving you a massage? And then he gives her a massage and then kind of be like hey why don't I something about being in there with you kind of kind of turn me on why don't I try giving you a massage and then you he gives her a massage and then kind of like role plays into it I don't know you're ultimately you've got to start having sex with your wife having sex with that doesn't work yeah yes it's like his answers like how do I not get a boner when really should be like maybe how do I end my marriage? Yeah, cuz I don't think this massage there yeah, you could go to a dude you jerk off right before right That's the actual if you want the Occam's razor here the simplest answer It's beat off right before and then you know you can't even chemically get hard probably

But let's what's going on with you and your wife brother that's really what we need to figure out here yeah why is she barely touching you yeah even after the come-up yeah what's the come-up is if are you working too much is that did you get a big promotion but you sacrificed your home life all we can go off here is just guesses off the very little information he gave us and especially if you're making money You don't let these bitches know if they ain't fucking yeah leave it hit the bricks whore Suck it or get the truck right on the battery parts if you're not sucking the 11bpc given a handy every once in a while

solved perfect score 100% solution rate. What else we got, Eldis? Hey, Sal. Eldis Guest. Big fan of the show. Long time, first time. I'm a 29-year-old guy. Been a bit deluna. I was friends with this girl from high school. And she was super hot. Never made a move on her because we had a good friendship going on oh yeah but we were a little bit and I found out just now ten years later that she has an only fans and I've been in touch with her or

anything like that but I don't know if it's appropriate for me to reach out to her. Awesome. I know some OnlyFans girls don't like... Awesome line of thinking. Yeah. Hey, I realize that she's actually selling nudes of herself, so that must mean she's available for me to fuck. So should I hit her up personally?

Like, obviously I can fuck her. Right. It's just what's the best, it's like, this hot woman is selling, it'd be like finding out somebody's a stripper, it's like, yeah, I could definitely fuck her now. Right, and it's also on her behalf, like, wait, so how did you find out I was doing OnlyFans? Are you stalking me?

I know, that's also true, it's like, I just happened to find out. It's like wait What was the beginning they went to high school together? Yeah, a girl he was able to he never made a move well because they had such a good friendship, right? Definitely not because he's a coward or knew he was gonna get rejected and I say this as a coward who never made a move on Any of the hot girls I was friends with in high school. We touched on this earlier. Yeah, but Anyway, let's hear about anyway. Let's hear it.

I just love it. There's more nuance. I'm sure there's more. It's just a very funny way to be like, I recently found, like why lead with I found out she had an OnlyFans? Why not like, hey, there's this girl I liked in high school that I want to reconnect with. Anyway, whatever.

Go ahead, Elders. It's appropriate for me to reach out to her. I know some OnlyFans girls don't like that. When there's a guy from their past that just reaches out randomly. But I just feel like, I don't know, maybe she'd be happy to have a customer. I feel like I don't want to reach out on Facebook

or anything like that, because I don't want to reach out on Facebook or anything like that because I don't want to like stay in the friend zone. The friend zone. And I'm not really like looking to start up anything serious. What? I'm trying to fulfill that fantasy. I'm actually married. What? No.

What? What? How is this worse? How is this worse? This guy's got to be trolling. What the fuck? This is crazy. He can't be serious Like have a real relationship. I'm just kind of want to fool around

But my wife let me watch porn so I figured it's okay. What is it? I don't know. Maybe it's like a loophole or something But it would just be awesome if I could just like relive my past and just kind of see what it would be like to be with that girl now. What do you mean relive your past? Now that I'm more confident as a grown man and I have a little bit of money to spend on OnlyFans. Pause this for a second. So wait, it sounds like he's just asking to get on OnlyFans and not fuck her. Is that right? Because it sounds like both are happening.

Right. Because he's like, my wife lets me watch porn so maybe I can fuck this woman. Oh, is he just asking if he can jack off there that's what it seems that it seems like he's asking if he can sub to her only fans but also reach out to her but i don't know if he's necessarily trying to like like get a fucker here's the fears of care to you what a nice description yeah he's a little for old times sake

uh... i think maybe what he's asking is, I want to, because he said the phrase customer a couple times, so it seems like he wants to pay her for her services. I guess what he's saying is, he wants a very specific fantasy of what if we fucked, what if I fucked the girl from high school, he wants her, he wants to be clear on,

he doesn't just want to jack off this girl He wants to like maybe pay her for sexting or something where it's specific about or pay her for a video where she's like Oh, I always wanted to fuck you in high school. I mean he's gonna ask his wife for this No, no, no, no, he's a he's so far. He's asked to read how to go about reaching out to this girl Why don't we finish? Let's see. Yeah four times. I don't understand this. Need to spend on OnlyFans, so I thought,

yeah, like maybe she'd appreciate having a customer, but I would definitely want to let her know that it's me. Like, I don't wanna just stay anonymous. That's weird. And act like I'm some regular Joe on her OnlyFans. Like, for me, the whole point of fans like for me the whole point of it I guess the whole like thrill of it is knowing that It's that she knows that it's me and that it's like we're back in high school kind of

So yeah, let me know your thoughts I don't know if I'm like a total piece of shit for wanting to do this or If it's not really like that wrong of me to render her services if she's putting it out there to the public so I guess oh yeah I don't really know if it's the right thing to do but definitely not big fan of the show thanks well the last part you're not good for you it's also the last part is like it's not about her It's about your wife That's weird for her. He's like I don't know if I'm a bad guy for doing this to her

But you're like what you have a wife right right right? That's the weird part not this woman Okay, so this is interesting though because He is essentially saying this is the most High level version of jacking off to high school memories, right? Like, you know, the, like the fantasy of like, what if this girl, what if I just got to fuck the hot girl from high school, right? He's essentially saying, I don't want to mess with this girl. I want to pay her to, I guess maybe for a custom video.

I don't know exactly what her services are where it's like, she's saying shit like, Oh, Johnny, I always wanted to suck you off in algebra. You know what I mean? Bobby. I don't know exactly what her services are where it's like she's saying shit like oh Johnny I always wanted to suck you off in algebra. You know what I mean Bobby No all the women Bobby went to fucking high school with her dead now So this in high school with her dead now. Um, so this, so basically he's saying is this, so there's a couple things. You're right, Joe. There, he hasn't even broached the issue of is this a form of cheating? Is this level of engagement is like paying for sex work? Paying for porn is one thing, right?

Whatever. He's like, she lets me watch porn which I guessed I get what he's talking about but the second it starts becoming super specific to you and you're saying it's a I want her to know it's me you know what I mean it's like it's the difference between watching porn and going for example to a rub-and-tongue or go like some people don't mind if you go to a strip club, but maybe they mind if you get a Lap dance every week from the same girl over and over again You know what I mean? Like right this is some of this from the wife's perspective is case by case Yeah, I mean you're a wife

I mean, I feel like there's a weird line between like hey you watch porn while you're gone watch porn I think it's different feeling like hey you want to message a girl, you know Well, and have a personal It's not even like an only-fans girl You don't know who you're just purely physically attracted right even that's a bit of a line of like Having some kind of relationship with her right and be weird when you're already married obviously But like this is so you're right. It's so specific. Yeah, it feels like a Where there's a little bit of sinister to it.

I would because I think it's like it feels like a power dynamic that he wants to play out. You know, like you were I was in the friend zone, but when I have you as an only now and you need my hundred dollars, you can do whatever the fuck I want. Well, that's the other thing, though. So that's one perspective, right, Joe? You're right. Is this cheating? He didn't even he didn't read. He said something to that extent, but he's not as worried about it as much as he is I guess you're right fine if I say she lets me watch porn, right, right

It's also a good point of the because yes, this girl is on only fans, but that doesn't mean she fucking Wants people she knows right? I don't like when my fucking when people I know go to comedy shows. Let alone looking at my fucking asshole if I was showing. Just because she's doing that doesn't mean she wants you to do it. You know what I mean? It's like she's, yeah she got a job but it might be weird for her if you get those services.

You know what I mean? The same way if you were like, a stripper saw somebody from high school, that might be weird. Same way if like someone from OnlyFans, might be weird. Same way if someone from OnlyFans might be weird. Some might not give a fuck. Some might get a kick out of it. Some might just be like, great, this is the kind of customer I can milk for even more

because he's fucking pathetic and a loser, which is how I read this, by the way. It's fucking weird you want to do this, dude. You got to move on. But like, so, but, so, but at the end of the day, I think, you know, you, you can reach out, but understand that she doesn't owe you anything. She might find it weird, and she might block you on everything if she finds your behavior to be like a little out.

She can refuse a customer, basically. She might be into this, she might not be into this. And you have to be open to that If we've even cleared the fact of whether you should do this because you're because you're married or not, right? So there's like there's two women who might really not want this to happen both Yeah, the girl and everybody no one but you wants to get this nut off And then what do you really want out of this you wanted to be like do you think she meet I mean no disrespect man but like this is not gonna make you go back in time and fuck this girl when you're 17 right and she's

not gonna be like wow you seem really cool now yeah that's the only two is like removed from the what like you're gonna do something a little shady as far as being married yeah but I would either reach out to her on Facebook like you're saying, going, hey, remember me? Like if you're gonna do a cheating activity, reach out to her on Facebook and be like, hey, would you wanna get together and get a copy and do something?

Or anonymously jerk off to her OnlyFans. This weird thing of reaching out through her OnlyFans and being like, it's me. You're doing- It's me. Either one is weird. through her OnlyFans and be like it's me like you're doing this me either one yeah weird yeah either one is like bad but better than doing what you're taking the worst situation to me it's being like hi it's me Bobby this is the one

that hurts the most people because it's yes exactly no one likes it even you because I think you're right Sarah there is a weird power thing here right because I actually the friendship not even being in high school. Like he must have thought it could have been like a guy in her class and they joked about one thing. For sure. Yeah. So I don't know what their dynamic was even back then, but I don't really picture it. If you're not talking throughout this.

Also, how old does he say how old he is? Like how long ago was high school? I think he said 29. Oh wow Oh 29, okay, it's not that long. So how come here's? Ten years are there girls that I went high school with on only fans probably myself in the same You know what this guy's a good guy Yeah, so yeah, I would either cheat on your wife like a gentleman by reaching out directly or cheat on your wife by going anonymously on her her whatever the fuck it's called only fans using it yet actually using her only fans as if it

was pornhub like a normal person yeah say you know read my name and fucking call, say I was cool. Invite me to the prom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, show me your, pull your tits out and say you'd love to go to prom with me. This is just another, just another general side question. He's like, she lets me watch porn, but I'm like,

well, how can she stop you from watching porn? Like, you can watch porn. Right. Like, just. Well, that's the thing, that's, again, you're right. He's using that as a loophole because right there is nothing There's nothing wrong with being like, you know what? I actually Respect people who are like I watch porn. I would rather pay people I would write cuz it's you know

I get being like I should pay for my porn directly and I don't have a personal relationship with them I'm just jacking off to it. That's fine But this is not he's using that loophole as cover for a bit of a weird activity. And then I would say to yourself, look inward my friend, what is this gonna solve? You need to be outta here bro. We all wish we got pussy in high school. It didn't happen, you need to move on.

This is just a weird activity. I think, in my read on the situations, my advice to you would be, given that, it's a little weird in the context of a marriage It could seem really weird and creepy to this woman and that it's kind of Emotionally like here's the thing. You don't do this once and you're like, ah, I never want to do any weird sex shit ever again This is picking at a little scab. You don't want to open that up, brother You don't need to explore that weird power dynamic version of yourself. You're never gonna get over this I say stay away beat off if you must beat off anonymously, but I would say just

Stay away, man. This is not something you want to fucking what I go down find another girl that looks like her I was gonna say too is like so many just also as same as my last recommendation is Fanta ever hear of fantasizing right right right your wife and pretend. It's this fuck Hey, I would be fun if we pretended I was your was yeah, put your wife in a Letterman's jacket. Yeah, exactly. It's a strap and suck the strap on Dork and put the arm and then I'll let you out right right you're so right not enough fantasy out here It feels like he doesn't even respect you guys. Maybe she'd be happy to a customer like, I know the vibes are a little off in the vibe is off. Yes. And I just know it. We all have this darkness in us. Don't feed this type of darkness. Right. Do not feed this my friend. Because you work a spiritual path. Yeah.

Yeah. This is not a good spirit. This is not good. You're on the demons path to hell. Next question, Elders. Stavi, Eldy, illustrious guest, appreciate your time. Try to break up the monotony of dudes just asking if it's the ethics of cheating on their girlfriends. Thank you. So fucking perfectly timed. I work a blue collar job,

shoot metal worker by trade We had a new guy start and like all the guys on my job All we do is bust all the all day, you know call each other gay cool stuff like classic. So New guys started we have like a great line of communication if anybody on our Site is pissing us off. We're like, hey man, don't like that you're doing this, don't love that you're doing that. So the new guy's like, hey, I don't like that you guys joke so much,

you know, like sometimes I just want work. Or like, okay, cool, whatever man, like, you know, he can't take jokes, whatever. Come to find out later, the new guy, he's more, his thing is, oh, I just don't know how to joke back when you guys you know kind of bust my balls I don't know what to say back So I guess my question is do you think you can train someone to? Bust balls do you think you could train someone to be funny?

Or is it just an inherent gift is it just something you learn from kind of risking with the guys? Appreciate your time Have a good voice Interesting I don't think you can train to bust balls. I Can think maybe with comedy a little bit to find your inner comedic voice Mm-hmm, but I don't know how you would train someone to do ball busting. Well, but I guess it's like, not so much train as like, can this guy just fucking chill

and stop being a fucking pussy? You know what I mean? It's like, that's the, because like, growing up, there were definitely kids who were not good at it, right? Right. Or like, people just who were good at it. And I remember just taking beatings, like when I first moved to New York and it's like not being confident just getting shit on you know like Bob just Bobby Bobby and like all his friends just essentially like jumping you first move like I remember

times where Bobby would just call Colin Quinn to shit on me with him on the phone Yeah, like just for like these guys were just do and I what am I gonna say these guys? I'm scared It's like there were years where I was just too scared to say anything back and that's also part of it And maybe this guy he'll just get over time. You just kind of get it. You know what I mean? Like I find out their weaknesses. Yes Over time you get to know these people. You hear what's good, what works on shitting on them and that kind of thing.

Yeah, I also think, and we have this a lot in comedy, because surprisingly there's people that don't bust balls. And I'm close friends with a lot of people from both sides. Sure. There's some people, I see you and I'm like, ah, you fucking homo, you fucking suck, whatever. Whatever, whatever it is. Her know, herpes, ah. And there's some people that just don't do that.

Like, you see like, Nick Griffin, I'm not like, hey, nice shirt, you fucking idiot. Like, they're not, I love people that bust balls and love people that don't bust balls. I'm a Boston Irish Catholic, that's my love language, but there's plenty of people that just don't do that. And you've gotta just be like, well, we're doing doing this and yeah, I wouldn't try to be like here's how you do it Right, because they're not gonna be good call him gay

Adults it's like you're not just gonna all of a sudden have a 30 year old guy be like Yeah, you throw you fat ass. They're just gonna do it wrong. You're right, you're right. I think we have that sometimes with like social media. People kinda watch our podcast and they think, and they'll be like, yeah you fuckin' nice herpes, you crooked tooth piece of shit.

And I'm like, I don't know this guy. I don't know you at all. I hate you. I don't know you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think I would just not even try. And it's like the Godfather. Best your interests don't conflict with mine.

You do your thing And I'll be over here, and who knows maybe this guy over time Will pick it up a little bit. You know what I mean, but it's like Right, you know maybe take it easy on him a little bit whatever but in terms of training I Really think the only thing is through osmosis legitimately. Yeah, I do think some I think that's also a big part of why people, why the funniest comics in New York is like, you're just around so many funny people that the baseline for what's funny to you is raised up, you know what I mean?

And it's like, just being around incredibly funny people for the last decade, I feel funnier because of it, right? Like, I feel, as much of it right like I feel you do as much as as much as like podcasting is fucking annoying how many hours do you think we've put into just like trying to talk and be like there's no way that hurts right like just trying to riff even though most of its dog shit I don't know how you fucking people listen all all this. But like, you get better, all right, relax, Elvis. You get better at it.

And so I think the only thing I'll say is, if it hurts this guy's feelings, lay off him. But just, you know, if you guys have a good time, it doesn't mean you have to be silent. Keep up your rapport, and then maybe over time, it might be years, he might get into it. You know what I mean? Yeah, he might be the best.

Yeah, I never know. Late Bloomer, I got to just address one thing. He says early on, he's like, we all just call each other gay. And then at the bottom he goes, is this just an inherent gift? Yeah. Was I born with some, am I gifted?

Because I call my buddies a homo and it's pretty good. He's like, is that something you can teach? Yeah, I don't know, man. Am I a? Because I call my buddies a homo and it's pretty good. He's like, is that something you can teach? Yeah. I don't know, man. Am I a prodigy? Only God gives you that. Am I the beautiful, am I Russell Crowe in a beautiful mind? But it's different slurs.

It's like a chalkboard full of different fucking slurs to call people. I know, it's so funny. It's mostly, I think it's honestly, I think you're right though, it is mostly cultural, right? Because it's like, you're right, you said Boston, same thing, it's honestly, I think you're right though, it is mostly cultural, right? Because it's like, you're right, you said Boston, same thing, it's like me and Eldiz have been friends forever.

We have been insulting each other since we were seven years old. And there is like a, like just, you know, there is kind of a poor working class thing to that, of like that is, you know, just calling each other pieces of shit. There's just, that's, I don't know how you talk to each other. My family in Greece behaves the exact same way. Right. And then I go to and then

you go to other people. Same culture just different types of people. My friends. I met my friend from college's family. Greek people too. I just thought all Greek people were rude like that. It's like no my family is all trash whether it's in America or here. Yeah It's like, we all just relate that way. Although I think it's actually, it feels very masculine to me because I don't feel like you get that a lot in the female or the woman comedy.

That makes sense. I have a theory about that. What is it? We men like each other. I wouldn't, I know, like we're lone wolves. What about growing up though? Was there like like in the family you could do some family things? Yeah. Oh we have alliances. I always call it like survivor. We're making alliances. Yeah. I feel like if and women in comedy if they're like yeah well you got a

fucking nice saggy tits to be like fuck you you whore. You got it from fucking Yeah, well, we'll see Yeah, dude, you're fine. You don't really have a gift. You just kind of like to have a good time and This guy will be fine. You're good. Keep busting balls. They don't stop busting balls. Yeah completely because of this guy You gotta make that steal work fun. Absolutely. Hi, Scotty, baby. So recently, a friend of mine got engaged. We've all been friends for seven years and we went out just for drinks and her fiance tried to hook up with me whoa yeah during that night I wanted to kind

of pull her aside and tell her what happened but he ended up getting to her before I could and she got really upset with me As for being that guy be like that fucking bitch tried to suck my cock Striking out she went for my cock you gotta cut her out of your life completely Respect the him for even trying to cover his tracks. Hell yeah, dude. I like this guy. Anyways, sorry. He ended up getting to her before I could, and she got really upset with me, so we didn't

speak for maybe three, four months. And then we made up and she believes me because she called off the engagement. But let's cut to four months after that. They get back together. Ooh. And we all go out to hang out again and he tries to hook up with me again. Wow. Holy fuck, this guy's awesome.

I love it. That's crazy. That's really hot. I love it. That's crazy. I'm not gonna be a That's crazy that's also gotta do some wonders for your self-esteem if you're her I feel like that would work on me Risk his fucking marriage That's awesome Immediately I pull her aside and I tell her. And she's crazy. She's upset about the situation. Don't get me wrong.

But she's happy that I pulled her. And then he turns around and kind of gets upset with me and now cut to another two months three months later engaged but they're back together again. How do I approach this with my friend and tell her fuck this fucking dude? Yeah, I mean, he's stupid. He keeps trying to hook up with me. He's probably tried to hook up with a billion other girls.

Hey, come on. Give yourself some credit. And I know she likes him or maybe feels like he's her only option because he's wealthy and she's 32. I don't know. Damn, sorry, Sarah. Taking a tough, catching a tough stray there. That is a stray to the forehead.

This must be in the South. 32, this is in New York. You're married, you have a beautiful baby boy. I know, that's just one of those, like the way she said it, I was like, ooh. Hey. It was like on the tip of her tongue for four seconds. 32. To think that at 32 you're desperate. It's so fucking funny.

I know, I know. I was doing coke when this lady was born. I know, I know. I was doing coke when this lady was born. I was living with roommates. Okay, keep going. 32, I don't know. But I would really love some clarity on how to approach this with her and maybe even approach things with him it Feels like a situation, but I do love her and I want to continue to be her friend so I Would love some planners. Thank you stop think bad This I mean this is tough because your friend is fucking stupid if she's still with this guy.

I just picture her, she's like really attractive and her friend's probably like the best friend in a rom-com. Now, I do wanna know a detail though. Yeah. What does it mean when she says, he's tried to hook up with me? What is their rapport? Yeah, what are they doing on the side? As he said like What proves that he's done? What proves that he's done?

As he said, like, hey, let's make out. What's their relationship like? There is some weird questions here. Like, are they all just hanging out and he's like, hey, wanna get fingered by me? Like, what is he? Is he, what do you mean he's trying to hook up? Is he just kind of flirty?

Or do you guys have a flirty thing and then he's like, hey, am I feeling something here? What's going, because it seems suspicious. I mean I was up here. I see what you're saying I there I would like some clarity on that too. It seems serious enough that You know he tried to spin zone at the first time and then she broke the engagement off and then they're back again but you're right is this like He's being flirty. Is this like he went in for a kiss?

Like to me it's like. He tried to hook up. And to me this is like he's flirting and he's like tries to kiss her or maybe even like fondles her or something. Yeah. Yeah. That's kinda how I read it, but you're right. Now Sarah, if you say this guy tried to hook up with me,

what does that mean? I guess like in this context I would think, and it can't be like, if it's as innocent as she's saying that it can't be in another location. So I would say lean in for a kiss at the bar. Or even just proposition, yeah. A DM maybe.

Or even being like, do you wanna get out of here? Or like meet me after this. Yeah. I'll go drop her off. Like is it that explicit? I would think it's either. It's that explicit is it that explicit? I would say it's either- It's that explicit, that's insane. I would say it's either a kiss,

an attempt kiss, or like an explicit non-contact, like, you know. Right. Am I, are you feeling something? Like, just something over the line of clearly if she reciprocates, this leads to sex kind of thing. You know what I mean? Right right I like to picture as wealthy

It's just he owns like two Burger King I know I mean this does make sense of this guy's just a fucking rich dickhead He's just trying to fuck all right his girlfriends friends, and it does like I cuz we're only I only think a mindset Where I just can't picture people being that Aggressive, but there are people that blow my mind how aggressive they can be. Basically they'll be like, do you wanna go fuck? And I'm like, that blows my mind,

but I know it happens a lot. So. And it's probably, it probably works. Yeah, definitely. I know the opposite doesn't work, because I'm always like, would you please make love to me, baby. Yeah, definitely. I know the opposite doesn't work because I'm always like, would you please make love to me? Yeah. Yeah, it's true.

So how do you approach this situation? I mean, I would to me, honestly, if she keeps going back, then like. I think just at that point, being like, all right, stay out of it. And just like, even if he keeps, it'd be really funny if he just keeps trying to like, lean in. 100. Charlie Brown,

and her, Lucy's holding her pussy, and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Also, 100%, he's cheating on you. Yeah, absolutely. If he's taking swings you. Yeah, absolutely. If he's taking swings with her friend over and over again, what's he doing with not her friends? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. Absolutely. At his job. Yeah. Like, clearly this guy's cheating. And so, I don't know, I mean, the fact that it's with her complicates things just a tad because like, you're right Sarah, what if this is like best friend in a rom-com like complex like what if her friend is the the not as attractive one and she has like a complex about this yeah she's

like Lizzie's friend and pride and prejudice like I'm a handsome woman I have no prospects right right right this is the only guy that's interested in me and my family's in poverty. Yeah. Yeah I appreciate you think the three of us have read pride and purchase. Eldest has. I don't know if I had. Wow, really I haven't read it. I've just watched both versions Very similar. Yes. Yeah, I could get you know, I could context clues it But well, you haven't read pride and purchase that actually does shot. I read main Mansfield Park That is true, this is a guy that Joe can call a nerd that must feel good Joe

This really was a fucking literary pussy this fucking guy loved Madame Bovary. Yeah. I read Larry Bird's biography and shut it down. That's it. But yeah, like, this is kind of a hard thing people have to come up against, but at the end of the day, if your friend wants to be with someone, you can give them advice, but they're gonna be with who they wanna be with. It sucks, but it's the,

all you have, and you just have to remember, I am their friend. You'll be there for her if she ever changes her tune with this guy, but it's, all you can do is be a friend. And it's annoying when you see somebody do something that's bad for them, but put it on the record how you feel, like hey, this is bad for you,

this relationship is bad for you, I don't think you should continue, but I'm here to support you, whatever you want. But yeah, you just have to recognize that. Like it's just not, we can't control who our friends are with. And sometimes it's like, you know, sometimes they're with people you think are bad

and you're wrong about it. I don't think this is the case, but you know, that that's having me many times We're so it's never something like oh that guy or that girl's a fucking idiot, and then it works out And you were wrong right right? I don't know that this is that case, but at the end of the day Your friend your job is to be a friend of this person. You're not No one can really tell someone who to be with that's one of the most like personal decision Right is it's probably like annoyed that you keep coming to her Yeah, oh

What does he want to fuck you again? Yes, okay, so this probably Arab guy off All right good good good luck luck but you know your friend's kind of a dumb bitch and you can't really do much about it. What do we got Elds? You got a couple nice ones here for us. Elds, let's go. Fuck. Hey, Savvy and guests. I'm a white guy, dad of three, I have three daughters.

And I have a... I don't know, interesting question. My six year old daughter wants to be ice spice for Halloween. And I don't know what to do. Hardly wants to say yeah, because that's simple enough.

You just get her some shorts and a red wig like Annie and have fun. And then the other part of me is, is that racist? There's one way it becomes racist. There's one clear way you can make it racist if you fucking hit Home Depot and fucking try and color match beige to let my six-year-old white daughter be a black rapper but then also it feels more racist to not let her. Yes. Is that crazy? She's just innocent and like I spice.

So I don't know what to do with that. Any help or guidance would be great. Hopefully the death maybe have some kids. I was a person of color. This is awesome. Helps pample a white dad of three. Thank you. That's if we don't need that.

Is having a hard time thinking that like a black person was one a child's admiration? It's like, what if your kid wants to be Black Panther? That's not fucking racist. No. It's a fucking costume. I would just say though that no one's gonna know who she is

unless you paint her face. Wow. You gotta paint her face. You can give her a good tits and ass. Mm-hmm. You can give your kid a BPL. Stuff her ass. Yeah, stuff her ass.

Sexualize her child rather than be racist. Yeah. This guy's really caught between a rock and a hard place. Now is I Spice one of the Spice girls? No. I Spice is, she's a rapper. The more, the actual more interesting thing here is, and I don't, I don't mean to be one of these, this is not, we're not prudes on the show, but six-year-old I Spice fan is kind of a little, that might be where I'm like well she you know that's pretty explicit for six years I don't know this ice by

right she's hot she's wagging her pussy around she's hot as shit genre like a budget my pussy you want it yeah like that's her classic that's her classic outfit she's hot as shit little orphan Annie so she's gonna wear a tube top and booty shorts? Yes, sexualize. Yeah, it's more that it's like, I'm sure there's a, there is an Ice Spice outfit she can get away with, but it's really just the wig. Get her the wig.

Get her the wig. You're fine. But no, it's not racist to be a black person for Halloween. Right. You can enjoy it. Yeah, it's a costume. Well, she's very light skinned black. You could just use a light face mask. No, enjoy. Yeah, it's a costume. Well, this is very light skin black. You could just use a light skin.

No Joe, no Joe. Just a little tan skin. Maybe a little tan and some on for a day. You cannot change the daughter's skin at all for an ice spice costume. All right. Well, I guess Marty's never going as Michael Jordan. He could take the tongue out

Yeah, this is awesome cuz you could tell it's like a dumb guy who just sees all this shit online He's like, oh the woke people you don't know what? Down anymore, but it's like what if yeah, what if your daughter wanted to be like, I don't know Beyonce Like it's not wrong to be a black person for how like it's like just a costume man, right? It's the like it's like I remember a friend of mine. He did a little Wayne costume. That was awesome He just did all the tattoos. Guess what? No black fit just did the tattoos man. It was good and he got a wig It was fine. We're heading into blackface season though Halloween Oh, there's always always one celebrity that I'm like,

what is wrong with your team? It's awesome, yeah. You're like, you need to fire everyone immediately. How does this slip past? If I was a celebrity, that would be my test to see if I have a bunch of yes men. If you hire someone, yeah. I love blackface season.

It's blackface season, baby. It's happening. It's happening in a blackface but yeah get her the red wig I guess I again my only thing not to be a prude here but it's like damn six-year-old she doesn't want to be a fucking I don't know I think of that way Clinton costume I did and when I was like in second grade yeah and that was that was crazy my mom this fucking guy this is my mom was literally like that actually was the only time my mom was like Should you not hang out with eldest listen with this fucking guy dresses Halloween in second grade

It was right around the Monica Lewinsky thing. He went to fucking They had like the Bill Clinton with his tongue out like suggestive rubber mask Yeah, he dressed up in a suit with like his pants down and his fucking like shirt I was open one half of the shirt was untucked I'll just drive there half that was in was like coming out of the fly He had no idea what getting your dick sucked was just through through like I love it through like Context clues he put together that this would be funny and he dressed as Bill Clinton Freshly after getting his dick. Yeah, the man had his tongue out They had like lipstick like kisses all over his face and the hair was all fucked up.

My mom was like, what the fuck? My mom was like, why did Elvis's mom let him do that? That was crazy. What year is this? I was like in second grade. Second or third grade, 96? No, you couldn't have been. How young are you guys? We were born in 89.

Maybe third or fourth. Maybe third or fourth. Definitely fourth you guys we born 89 maybe third or fourth maybe third or fourth Definitely fourth at the latest, but maybe third. I think it was third cuz wasn't this 96. Yeah. No that was later Wasn't I do second term? Yeah, well 98 we were nine years old. I remember I was watching the I was just getting divorced I was just getting divorced Okay, but either way much too young to do like listen to rap music and shit when we were young as shit Yeah, I don't think it's like I guess that's true weird or like no about it. I mean, I guess if you're six I guess if you're a parent you could but as like a former child, I don't think it's that

She's aware of ice fighting your parents are from America? No, no. That's the thing, they had like cultural blind spots. That's what it was. My parents also had cultural blind spots. Oh yeah, all immigrant parents. Yeah. How about that?

And also they were from South Africa with censorship, so they were anti, but then they had no idea, like, you know, like we're listening to Two Life Crew in sixth grade, which is insane to me. It's crazy. I'm the only real American here That's right, dude, you should I think Trump has a lot of good points You should have built the wall around the airports dude, right around BWI Airport You would have kept me and fucking held this out It would be a little weird if you had a classmate who had a dress with come on it that would have like really put it

Over the issue put drizzle little yogurt on the fucking blue dress another immigrant Well that definitely was part of it because your mom had just no idea what you were up to but my mom was a little more Assimilated because she she moved here for the first time when she was like 20 with her family and then she moved back to Greece. Oh, God. But anyway, yeah, I mean, get her the wig. It's fine. It's not racist to for your kid to like and look up to a black person and want to dress as them for Halloween. I don't care for it, but as a real American, Joe's against it. It is well within her. Ready? Yeah, I would prefer you have a white hero, but

it's twenty twenty four. You got a nice one to take us home, elders? Yeah, this isn't really a question, but it definitely ties into something. A great point Joe brought up early. OK, great. I love it. Hey, guys, I was just listening to one of your episodes about the lesbians that have sex

differently. One wants to bust a lot and one wants to bust a few times. Oh yes, I remember that. You mentioned that women are like renewable energy that they can bust and then keep going and then can't but I wanted to bring something to your attention so it's not so much of a advice type situation. It's more of like am I the only one that can do this? Oh wow, this guy's bragging about his nut. Is it non-stop nutting? Type situation it's more of like a am I the only one that can do this Not Everything I was addicted to porn forever. I started jerking off when I was like 11, you know, and maybe 12 Whenever I was in eighth grade doesn't matter

I've gotten to the point recently to where if I pull out just right I can bust a nut without having an orgasm. Therefore, like by that I mean come ejaculate it exits my penis but I don't have the full body orgasm sensation so I can clean off put on another condom and then go again. Why would you want that? I took the fun out You know when you have kids, that's the whole point There's no rules when your wife's pregnant so you just do whatever you want and somewhere throughout that and there's some that process I Figured it out and I was like, oh shit. That's cool so then I just would continue to do that and now

Is that cool? Busting a nut feels awesome. I think it's so cool. That's the best part is I can be like oh and then be like You fucking nut and keep barking? That sucks. Yeah. He's probably feeling something but it's not it's probably not like a full you know calves are tight whatever not a Reno. right well let's let's hear Matt I suppose like I like to go two or three times in one sitting which was my last 10 or 15 minutes but I'll bust three times but I won't orgasm three times if that makes sense so I just want to throw that out there and see if there are any other people that have Figured out how to do that. It's completely crazy because none of my friends believe that I can do it They don't understand how or why why is the real question allows that to happen?

But it's a fact man. I really do it and I think it's pretty cool My wife doesn't mind it either. Doesn't mind it. So that's cool too. Also, I'm 29 years old. That might be irrelevant. I don't know, but it is what it is. It's a real fact. So just do with that what you will.

Thank you, that's just a really, really good call. Let me know if you all have tried it maybe. In retrospect. Or if you do try it, let really really good ball like that. Let me know if you all have tried it maybe in retrospect Or if you do try it, let me know how well it works. Yeah, what is what? I thought because he said he like discovered this when his wife was pregnant Oh, I the pregnant sense the pregnant you control left pregnant. Can I tell you this guy sounds a lot like Shia LaBeouf? Hmm, their voices is Shia LaBeouf. I think it might be Shia Weird stuff.

The weirdest part is when he said, when your wife's pregnant, nothing matters and there's no rules. I didn't get that. That's why I thought you meant the point I made. I was like, well, I guess so. I kind of was. I thought pregnancy came up more than it does

and I guess I've misremembered it a little bit. Well, bang up job on the final call of the episode, Eldest. But I guess what he means is you could just not inside your pregnant wife. I suppose without orgasm Oh, that's what he meant by no rule. I thought he was just like coming in her face and like, you know punching her Yeah, she's pregnant. Yeah, I don't know. I mean I can't do that No, I've had the thing when you get really close it feels like you're gonna nut and then it goes away. I have that sure every single time I have sex Yeah, I don't think that counts as coming. Is that what he's counting? I think I and listen I've certainly maybe two times in my life

Nutted and like kind of been able to go very fast He's basically talking about nutting and your dick stays hard and you get the fuck you keep fucking to me What's the point the whole point is to get a nice nut all like especially especially says two or three times All right, let's say two you're like, you know what? I was about to bust quick I busted I could keep fucking but he's saying he's not even feeling the sensation. So he's just leaking cum for no reason I don't get the positive here other than like showing off, jizz. You know what I mean? Like I don't even think the woman wants to have three times. Yeah, is your wife some kind of jizz fiend? I only want the cum and I've got hours. I thought he was saying like no cum comes out.

No he says cum comes out. Yeah he ejaculates. He's saying he ejaculates in no orgasm which to me is the worst combo. Right I don't think there's orgasm without cumming. Exactly. That would be your gift. That would be cool. If you're gonna go to fuck and be like oh

and then keep fucking that's cool. That's basically what a vasectomy is isn't it? Sort of. I don't know. I think cum still comes, but it's dead I think you can't really tell the difference I don't think it's it's gritty. I think it's like a smooth like it's like without pulp. Yeah Well, I'll call Ari

Yeah, oh Yeah, probably when did he had one probably the second he could Well, I'll call Ari. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. When did he had one? Probably the second he could. A few years ago. 18. Yeah. Yeah.

Good luck. Good luck. Great job, Elvis. That was an awesome call. Man, it's some good conversation here. Your hair went red. You're off your game. You kind of nutted without the orgasm.

That is true. That's what this was. Very hype. We got no satisfaction out of that call. That was just come, no orgasm. Go listen folks, go watch the special, But Whole Money on YouTube. Share it. Share it. Tell your friends about it.

Joe has a documentary coming out. Yeah, October 10th, New York Screening. Tom Dustin, Portrait of a Comed out. Yeah October 10th New York screening, Tom Dustin portrait of a comedian and then November 9th town hall. It's gonna be big. Big big theater. It's gonna be a big theater that's for sure. Hell yeah. That's a great, that's a great, I went there once. I did a show there once. Yeah I'm excited. It's gonna be fun. So come on out to that. Great theater. Go see Joe. Go watch Sarah's special. We have it linked right here, and we will talk to you next time guys bye bye