Stavvy's World - #99 - Wes Haney and Daniel Simonsen

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Wes Haney and Daniel Simonson join the pod to discuss their upcoming feature film LET'S START A CULT (out in theaters 10/25!!), realizing that making a movie is very hard and stressful, strips malls, Target runs, unwalkable American towns, run-ins with large groups of Greeks, the differences between Norwegians and Americans, and much more. Wes, Daniel and Stav help callers including a man wondering if he should tell his girlfriend that one of his bros is a guy that he hooked up with on Grindr, and a woman who is having a hard time keeping up with society's ever-changing beauty standards. Watch LET'S START A CULT (starring and co-written by Stavvy) in theaters 10/25!! With Q&A screenings in Chicago (10/22), Baltimore (10/24), NYC (10/25 & 10/26), and Brooklyn (10/29). Get your tickets: https://stavvy.biz/movie Visit https://mintmobile.com/stavvy to get a 3-month premium wireless plan for just $15/month. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code STAVVY for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. More info at https://www.gametime.co/ Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVVY to score $200 IN BONUS BETS INSTANTLY when you bet just $5. For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Follow Wes Haney on social media: https://twitter.com/westonhaney https://www.instagram.com/westonhaney Follow Daniel Simonsen on social media: https://www.instagram.com/danielsimonsencomic https://x.com/daniel_simonsen Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Welcome to Stavis World everyone we have an incredible show for you. Wes Haney, Daniel Simonson. They'll be on in a minute. We just want to let you know and we talk about it. But October 25th, let's start a cult, the movie that I star in. I wrote it with Wes and our friend Ben Kittnick. It comes out in theaters. It's in all these cities. Eldest will put these in in post production hopefully or I'll kill him. And you can by clicking the link below you can get tickets to see it. Please buy tickets to see it. Go outside go to the movies. It's 90 minutes of very very stupid comedy. If you like this podcast you will like the movie I promise you and if you live in any of these cities

Go see it. I'm begging. I'm on my knees begging now without further ado. Let's start the show Welcome everybody to Stavis world 904 800 stuff call in we'll solve all your problems We have a very special important episode. This is me we have soon to be We have a very special important episode. This is me. We have soon-to-be Indie hit comedy we have the cast of let's start a cult here West Haney Daniel Simonson I also happen to be in the movie. Yes, it is my movie I've been telling you about this for a fucking month now go it comes out in for a fucking month now. It comes out

in this Friday October 25th in theaters that's right. You're looking at three motherfuckers that are in a real movie you pieces of shit show some respect. You too Eldis. This is the first time you've had three serious actors on this podcast. I'm

humbled to the highest degree right now. Yeah we fucking made a movie. We hope you go out and see it. And look, it's in at least two theaters so we can say in theaters. Yeah. OK, it's all it takes. Two theaters.

It's in theaters. We've already done a couple of premieres. It's been in already as we speak, It's been in three theaters soon to be four Yeah, yeah, yeah see Daniel we keep it a dark Daniel's look we so we We me and Wes we wrote it with our buddy Ben Kittnick who directed it Did you know we were I'm sort of like the kind of like the James Dean movie star of it. You know, the sexy young protagonist. Wes is the Haggard old. He's the Haggard old villain who I have to defeat.

Daniel is a nice little foreign piece of ass we brought in. So people have something to look at. Ain't that right, Daniel? Oh, yeah. My ass was the most important uh... but yeah we want to make sure you go see the movie and uh... it was fun it's kinda wild that were uh... that's that's something we made is in theaters but will take it baby it's pretty sick man you ever been

have you ever been uh... have you ever seen yourself projected what's the biggest screen you've seen yourself projected on up until now but all this movie I think it's my television nice television is good though yeah yeah yeah I watched myself but that's very rarely though yeah yeah yeah yeah try to avoid it you don't like to look at yourself on TV Not too much. No, I think also the bigger it is as a lot to digest. Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah I think I guess my friend had a show or maybe I did like the 48 hour film festival and they put that shit on a

Movie theater. So like I'm just talking about for you know tricking your mind me and actually I'll just remember that we we did a the 48 hour film festival yeah crud crud destroyer of worlds yeah this was crud that was my breakout role I was kind of the star of that you actually were the star you were the young James Dean and I was the evil villain yeah damn we should find that and put it on we gotta redevelop we should put it on the stavis world YouTube channel yeah that would go that would go nuts But yeah, I'm excited to see myself big you know yeah, I haven't seen myself big no Not even for some bullshit thing somebody rented out at the theater or something

No, not even that not even that damn. I'm a little screening here and there but yeah and like no sort of big screen yeah yeah maybe on a wall maybe on a wall max yeah ten nine not good enough now we're about to be big and by the way go see this and we will go if you do the popcorn trick at our movie where you put your dick through the popcorn and get jerked off send us the glory hole popcorn bucket no jizz send it to us send it to eldest Sula care of eldest Sula will pull will flash his address here on the screen right now and you are entered for what's the prize what do you think the prize is for doing the popcorn trick at our movie theater at our movie?

What do you think they should get? Maybe like $35 burn DVD copy of the film That eldest film that the premiere bathroom break in it you get to to hear Elders as stream as he pisses. You hear me on the camera like just breathing. I love bootlegs man. Here comes the piss. All right. It happened again. Damn I used to love bootlegs. That was a we grew up in a nice era. Did you ever have you?

You must have some bootlegs in Greece. They loved bootlegs. Yeah, did they have them? You grew up in Norway where? Yeah, Norway. I don't think that was a thing there. Like guys love following rules. That's why.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quite a break. Great people hate rules, bro. They don't pay taxes. They don't do shit. Yeah, yeah. That would be quite a break of the rules. Yeah, Greek people hate rules, bro. They don't pay taxes, they don't do shit. Yeah, dude, it would be like, you would just go and people would be like, you want Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise? And they would just have Mission Impossible for you, like, burned. Like, I never...

And we would go DVD shopping for bootlegs in Greece and bring back bootlegs to America to watch. But when I was in South America they had it a lot. They would even have movies that were not out yet. They were like The Hobbit. They're still making them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They show you dailies of The Hobbit.

They show you with a green screen. They would show you Captain America, it's all green and the guy in front of it. That's fucking hilarious Were you a big bootleg guy Wes? I wasn't cuz I lived like I grew up out in the country So we didn't they didn't make it that far damn. Yeah. Yeah, not even a gas stations or anything like that Wow, yeah, Baltimore both Baltimore and Greece Big bootleg places. I'm sure we love the bootleg. Oh, I know your ass had bootlegs honestly No, what I never did like a bootleg DVD like

You know real shitty kind that they like yeah film it in the theater you stole cable though, didn't you? No, you keep saying that I never did you always? Right don't listen to him man. He stole it. How do you do that? But I steal it you just have a guy come in and fucking I don't even exactly know It used to be big in the 90s. They probably like split wires Like actual cables were and like put it to your house or some shit. Oh wow yeah, yeah You pay a guy one fee one time you pay one guy 400 bucks get cable for free until someone's wise to it But I still I think you stole it. How would you know what your pair?

I guess you probably you probably wouldn't know cuz they didn't speak English, but yes, I don't even know how like how they would do it on Albanian guys Split the fucking wire. That's how they did it. What do you mean? They'll do they have any Albanian stereotypes in Norway Actually a country I never heard mention you're not Think about you motherfuckers Damn that's a shame. We got us to ask everybody. What about an Indiana Wes Or did you go in Illinois? I grew up in Indiana. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There were definitely people who did it

Yeah, didn't happen in my family. We weren't smart enough That's for sure Too too dumb too afraid too dumb to oof dumb and scared combo too afraid to dumb to foes dumb and scared combo catfish at uh... from cowardly you lose one a confident our the might accidentally succeeded yet unafraid coward has a ten percent chance of anything good happening

uh... a coward that site you know a coward that believes in himself even though he shouldn't browns are no a dumb guy who believes himself even though He shouldn't that guy's got actually probably like I would say 70% Yeah, he's gonna be successful. Yeah, he's got good odds for sure. Yeah Damn what about Albanians you know any of them Wes No, yeah I mean, I didn't even know any Greeks.

Oh, wow. Oh, great. How about Greeks in Norway? You guys knew Greece. I actually lived there. So I studied in Paris and I lived. Oh, wow. Greek house. Really? With like I think it was 80 Greek people. I'm sorry. 80. Yeah.

What the fuck are you talking about? You were in a Parisian Greek house with 80. So it's like a you mean like an apartment building. So it's like a student city. I see. Every country had its own house. Oh, wow. And they had segregation.

They had ethnic segregation. And I like to give it separate. But they would send like from each house, different countries. So I came from the Norwegian house to live at the Greek house. Oh, so it was an exchange. It was like an exchange within an exchange program. Yeah. Interesting.

So you were the Norwegian guy, you're the Norwegian delegate to the Greek house in Paris. Yeah. How did you find your experience with the Greek, with 80 Greeks? I mean they're so different to Norwegians. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I remember I would come home and they would have like a circle and they had a little guitar. They were completely sober too. Oh wow. And they were singing songs while they looked

each other in the eyes. That's how they would have fun. Dude yeah I know exactly what you mean and there would be like one guy in the middle like doing his own solo dance. Yeah yeah yeah it was really strange. Whenever I saw, I would just kind of tiptoe away. Oh dude, they would have tried to get you in the center to dance for sure. That would have been a big... The sober thing does surprise me though, because everything you're saying makes sense to me. And they would love to shred on the bouzouki. What you heard was a bouzouki. That was the little guitar.

And there is something cool about that Cuz it's just like a party will break out literally wherever yeah And it's like you just need and they literally just clap the guy in the center the guy in the center does like a He just kind of moves his arms around and sometimes he kicks his feet up. It's fucking sick. Yeah, I'm trying to get there, dude I'm trying to like Traditionally you perform that dance at your wedding. It's kind of like a peacocking. It's kind of like, it's like the manliest dance there is. It's like fucking you see you fucking dance

that when you get married, and then again, you probably when you get divorced, you know what I mean? That's does it's called the ZEBECKIKO. That's so fucking funny that you're seeing the less alcohol, the better. Like that was almost like a great thing. If it was booze free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they didn't get rowdy. Yeah. Because they didn't start breaking shit.

They seemed to enjoy it more if it's sober. Really? It's strange. Sounds like you had 80 nerds in your fucking ear. This does not... Everything you're saying except they're enjoying it more when they're sober doesn't make sense to me We did a mixed home was it like guys and girls or was it like yeah Yeah, so it was a party a sober party. Yeah sober Greek people just doing it for the dance and what ages oh

all types there weren't only students living there they were like This is fast. I have no clue who a lot of people were yeah they were like this is fast I have no clue who a lot of people were yeah and you were the only non-greek or were there like a handful of other students from other countries in that and they were like a few different but mostly greeks but I remember like sometimes would have like a a gathering or whatever and you would just look to the side and just see five Greeks. Yeah staring at you They really look at you Yeah, absolutely aware yeah, no I get there is like a weird Yeah, I know exactly what you mean where there's like they're not self

I know exactly what you mean where there's like they're not self They're not self-conscious like Greeks from Greece have kind of like the the dumb guy we were just talking about There's like a there's like a neurose like it's funny being in America and going back. I'm like, oh, we're no America's neurotic Like I'm in my head. I bet you if I was in Greece I would just be some fat dumb guy having a great time I mean you could argue on that now But it would just be like I'm I am self-conscious and it's like they'll just be like what's going on man What do you well? What are you doing here? Or they'll be like though they would and then they might even like it's like a little aggro

But not a little little alpha. They're trying like alpha you a little bit and it is kind of like I don't know they're kind of like fucking wild animals to be honest with you like my cousin is just he's just his life is so simple goes to work tries to get pussy eats eats a fucking gyro day starts all over again There's not much else, there's not much other than that. But they're really good people though, I did like them. Yeah, they're great at hanging out. Greek people love chilling and like it's warm, they're probably welcoming, you know what I mean? Very welcoming.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they're very accepting of no matter how you are, you're like, oh yeah, you're one of the guys. Yeah, yeah, and they'll shit on you, they'll make fun of you, yeah you're one of the guys yeah yeah and they'll shit on you they'll make fun of you but you're one of the guys you know like that's that is awesome and this was what college or what you were in college or yeah in paris and uh yeah we had parties there every now and then and then new legions would come over there to party yeah what's in a give me shock over there to party. Yeah, what's in the game? They shocked by how drunk we were. You guys just get fucked up and that's

it. There's no song or dance. There's just to be able to exist. But it's like I remember there were these Norwegian guys there rolling on the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Floor and they were pretty shocked. The Greeks. Yeah. I literally on the floor. And they were pretty shocked, the Greeks. Yeah. I think they felt we were ruining the party. Yes, yes, yes, yeah. Because Greek people will get fucked up, but it is a slow build, I will say that. It's like a glass of wine with dinner. And then it's like, we're drinking for eight hours

while the music's going. Like, it is a very, again, it's a hang-oriented culture where it's like it is a very again. It's a hang oriented Culture where it's like don't fuck it like shots are like a wild mood like they will do it But it's only after it's built and it's like alright. This is one of those nights. Let's get now It's time to get fucked up, but it's not like even American college culture Where it's like time to pregame where you have to be so drunk before fucking leaving your home where yeah that's interesting because I guess Norwegians are just the day the party starts by getting arrived drunk you've been pre gaming right so you already pretty wasted when you get there yeah

and then you keep you know yeah yeah I feel like I would have done pretty well in Norway. Yeah, yeah. I was so shy growing up, like would not make eye contact with people. Yeah. And definitely had to like, had to get lubed up. Sure, sure, sure, sure. In order to do anything, like, man. I mean, I get it. I remember doing that being like 15 and being so scared to talk to a girl that you're like, ah, time to guzzle Vodka so that maybe I'll say hello to, you know, just a girl that's been like batting her eyelashes at me. I did, one time I got drunk as hell and made out with a girl at the Greek festival. Still one of the, yeah, still one of the best memories of my childhood. That's great. How old were you?

Fifteen. You know, counts. It was the and it was like and then I would that was maybe the closest I got to getting sucked off for another five years. It was like I had a nice little run that year where I I saw three pairs of tits and then God turned the titty spigot off He was like alright, that's enough now be a fucking loser and hang out with eldest for five years Get fucked go to a diner with eldest after after getting way too drunk at a party now

That's what you're gonna do until you're you get to see a titty it. I guess I saw tits again. Let's see here Let me think about this boys. Give me a second And then but I didn't fuck for those five years after so ah it was a harrowing time Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's the. When did you see your first titty in person Wes? I think I talked about this last time. Oh you did, you did, yes. I remember this. It was everything at once.

I remember this, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not so much as a kiss and then it was just... Same night. No kiss. Got it all out of the way. That's why I remember this. Yeah, I remember this that is fucking hilarious Salute to that great night great night. Yeah, what okay second, so we covered your first the last time you were here second time you saw tits It was probably

You know I think it was like Maybe a year and a half later, okay, so kind of a drought other drought. Yeah Yeah And I also got braces during that time So that you know, that's tough and how old how do you got braces I was I had just turned 19 I just turned 19. Oh my god, dude! That's fucking brutal! That's fucking brutal! College braces!

Yeah. Cause I had like just It took me that long to get enough confidence to be like, I think I would like to do something entertainment related in my life. I should probably fix my fucked up teeth. Gotta do it. I'm 19 I don't want my fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, I do it gotta do it got it teen

Yeah, I don't want to do it. This is fucking suck Let's get it out of the way. Oh luckily. It was only for a year, okay? Yeah, what style of bread like the classic brace classic just metal mouth shit. Yeah, I didn't any colored rubber bands Okay, yeah, that's good. That's it kept it classic. Yeah gray silver Did you this? Did a lot of moisture You know hey guys It's me west

Some of that I see some pussy Got like big teeth too So it wasn't that bad cuz you know the surface area of the brace on the tooth. Of course, of course. There was some clearance there. Okay, okay, okay. I didn't make too much noise. That is funny to be like, alright, I have to get to think like that. I never considered my teeth for one second.

Like, even though I wanted to do comedy, I was like, well, who cares? I'm fucked up looking. Who gives a fuck? And then when I got my teeth when I this tooth came in they're like you want to fix the gap I was like no, I like the gap the gap I like having I like having fucked up teeth a little bit So were you were your parents just like the dentist was never in play growing up Yeah, it was kind of like a lot of things like you don't really need it. Yeah I always had like the lowest like version of whatever it was. Yeah, like Yeah, I'd love an example if an example came to my head right now. That'd be awesome. Yeah

We'll just have to do with you saying it Believe me take my word for it. Come to me in a few minutes when we're on another topic. Yeah. Now Wes and Daniel, I don't know if you know this about me, I'm a deal hunter, baby. I love a good deal as much as the next guy, but I need that shit to be easy because I'm also a real lazy piece of shit.

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Above 40 gigabytes on a limited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply Siemens mobile for details Well, I just I do love the because we had so much in the movie We do we deal with like a a one of the characters is kind of a like a out-there mom And I do love that we drew a lot of inspiration from your actual life your actual mom Where we put a joke in there you we might as well do we didn't tell that part on the last one Did we I don't think because last time we talked about your you know Like we talked about step dads and all that kind of switch by the way go see

Wes and Nick Nanny we had a great episode on the patreon You're gonna have to pay up on for that one folks But we didn't talk about your we didn't talk about that at all where it's like Cuz your parents split up with you. How old were you? I was like two. Yeah, so I have no memory. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah But they yeah like my mom was she was married a lot. Yeah Yeah, like my mom was she was married a lot. Yeah Yeah at eight she found my stepdad and they've been together since that's nice there were some decent dicey years Coming and going

Remember she had a boyfriend named Kevin who I met once. Hell. Yeah who gave me Upon meeting me. He gave me my brother RBI baseball for the original Nintendo. Yeah. Love Kevin. Kevin was good. And again, that's a big lesson for all of you trying to fuck single moms. Get their kids a present a little better than they deserve, and you can do whatever you want to their mother after that. They are good.

They're going to be playing RBI baseball, you got her in the Cobra Clutch over there just feet away and they wouldn't be the wiser never saw Kevin again more positive more positive memories per interaction than any of your stepfathers because it was just hey here's the RBI baseball mean me and moms are gonna be gone for a couple hours boys Get in there with Ken Griffey That's why I was thinking about the other day the movie boyhood is my favorite movie Because I think no other movie has gotten the stepdad quite right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's the movie that does Yeah, there's a guy who's like dating the mom early on and he comes to like take her on a date. And she's like, I forgot I got two kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Yeah. I'm supposed to meet my friends at the bowling alley. No, it's okay. I'll hang out here with you. Perfect. And then like the like main stepdad later in it, it was just

like slowly becoming more and more alcohol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This big flip out scene where he tries to like he's drunk at dinner and tries to flip a dish, but he misses it. Yes, yes, yes. If you haven't seen Boyhood, go

check out Boyhood, folks. Watch our movie and then watch Boyhood right after. Yeah. Yeah, there is something because because the the stepdad who tries to be Abusive but can't pull it off is one of the funniest guys in the world because it's it's both funny in the sense of the guys Pathetic, but it's also such a relief because so many steps are such pieces of shit that that actually like will hit a kid that one Guy was just like a timid like a pussy that wishes he could hit a child That's a fucking hilarious guy man, that's a fucking real pussy

God thank God that thank God and I mean I always was like damn I kind of wish my parents had gotten divorced because I think I just think about the positive possible stepdads you know I think about like a nice supportive big fat stepdad you know like an American stepdad I always thought that'd be nice some guy who can fucking watch baseball whittles you know I mean gives me a nice hug it's supportive you know but they're out there they're out there but most of the time that's not who you get you don't get it you don't get a good one you didn't have were your parents divorced you what would you know we just even have the concept of step parents yeah I mean my mom had like boyfriends got I do

remember there was a lot of bribery involved yes yes yes they give you smoked reindeer meat hey dude here's a 20 bucks that's classic and again pretty direct i'm comfortable but i did like it free money is always right but it must be hard for them to, you know, to try to win the kid over. Yes. Yeah, because you never know how hard to go and you're like, I don't want to, I don't want this kid to think I love him yet, if ever. Yeah.

But I do want him to get off my back so I can fuck his mom. I think that's really how most of them approach it. I think it starts with what's the lowest I, what's the lowest gift I can fuck his mom. I think that's really how most of them approach it. I think it starts with What's the lowest I get? What's the lowest gift I can get to just get three hours of this kid off my back? And then unless you're a good guy in which case it's like it does it has to be an interesting thing of like Yeah, I want to be nice to them, but I also I feel like once you meet a kid Yeah, it's got to be kind of serious You'd hope Otherwise, it's, you know, Kevin territory. Yeah.

Yeah. Your mom's treating you guys like you're in her roommates. Like Kevin's going to be on the cat. Like, hell yeah, that's Wes. He's cool. Just, you know, just, uh, yeah, just go right on by him. He'll be watching TV. Yeah. It should be serious though, if you are meeting the kids. Yeah, yeah Absolutely, I can see myself getting into a stepdad zone. Yeah, I'd be kind of nice. I have no problem. I have no problem You know Ladies got a kid. I'll date her and I also think it would be nice to just Not worry about changing diapers. Just pop in, boom.

Kid right there. Hopefully his dad's in jail or dead or something. He automatically respects me more. Dead would actually be kind of the best one, I guess. Because you have to worry about him coming back and shivving you or whatever. Or kind of pathetic and around would actually be funny to Kind of like a gil type gil from the Simpsons guy that would be that would be a fun stepdad to have around But

But yeah nice kid too you get a nice kid I guess I guess I'm open to the possibility that the kid is a good a good kid. They could surprise you yeah The kid is a good a good kid. They could surprise you yeah Well, this is fun kids are yeah, this kid's not bad. I mean he's half of that fucking idiot Gil guy Yeah, dude, I don't know we'll see but I'm gonna I'm starting with the uncle mode of course I think there might be some kids on the way in the family hopefully so you know we might be some kids on the way in the family hopefully so you know we I'm ready to you know buy some work my way up as an uncle to train myself for stepdad that's that's that's kind of like the dirtbag 35 year old gauntlet

when you're in your single this long and it's like yeah that'd be nice that'd be fucking nice do you remember any other bribes you got was it just cash? I got a really sick t-shirt nice that I got a lot of props for What was it It's like a skateboarding brand Remember sure this maybe shorty sure yeah, yeah, they just you were you did they skate you were you motherfucker skating? What was like what was like youth culture like when you were growing up very inspired by like the United States? I got you, but we did skate, but it was like The concrete was so rough. Mmm, and it was always like

Rainy or even snow, you know, mm-hmm. So it wasn't like ideal for it. It was like a big skateboard Oh, really? It was a big culture. I was pretty bad. I was very frightened. I didn't get a lot of respect. You couldn't do any tricks so they didn't fuck with you dude. I could but it took me like years longer to dare to even try it. Yeah yeah yeah. See I just I went rollerblades all my friends were skateboarding. Wow, you were the one rollerblader in the crew? Speaking of no respect. I mean yeah that was crazy. But they had grind plates. Yeah. And I was not good at that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That that's worse when you try to grind with rollerblades and your feet. Yeah

Yeah, I mean I I was always scared of skating completely I was fat obviously It just felt like I don't know a fat skateboarder feels like you're tempting God there You know what I mean? Like like every good skater is like skinny and I'll just you never had like a beach You have a board or anything like that. I had a board I was like trying to fuck with it in like fifth and sixth grade, but I was a straight poser on this Yeah, I like managed to kind of do an ollie like in the grass and like right when sixth grade started But then literally like the second time the second time I did it in the grass like the board snap did it in the grass like the board snap I don't think I'm investing in the new one it's like snapped under my weight

yeah that kind of sucks I was like this is probably for the best I don't see a future in this for myself you're also one of the least like physically gifted people I've ever met in my life one of the least coordinated people the fact that of all the sports you went and skated tried skating is so funny no totally I would have fucked myself I like fuck my forearm once like in middle school like trying to play with a hacky sack in the living room I just I just reached my foot for it wrong and lost my balance and like, straightened the fuck out of my forearm.

In your home, playing hacky sack? I fell on the carpet and fucked my shit up. God, I wish I had video of that. I would watch that non-stop. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, I was way more of a, I was way more of a I was way more of a Just I played you know soccer and then I played Like rec basketball and then I I fancied myself a jock even though you know, I was in my heart

I was a theater kid, but I couldn't admit that cuz I was like nah, I'm fucking cool and straight I don't fucking do I quit like you're a good man Charlie Brown in sixth grade to play to play like basketball Basketball lacrosse and that was like I was like yeah Now is when I start being a cool guy that gets pussy and of course it didn't happen I was just I just you know played sports and whatever Like rec league basketball, but then I was in like an alt sports kids I played like I was hacky sack and like ultimate frisbee, disc golf yeah and then in college my freshman year of college I like joined the ultimate frisbee team. Oh damn with braces. With braces. Playing ultimate frisbee.

Oh yeah, it's just long hair. Hell yeah, dude. And then I got into this improv group. Oh, three for three. College improv. Go ahead, go ahead. I found out the rehearsals were on the same night. Oh no. Ultimate Frisbee practice, so that was it.

That was it. RIP, your ultimate Frisbee career. Yeah. Hello, improv. Hello, improv. Time to grow up and do something respectable. RIP your ultimate frisbee career. Yeah. Yeah Time to grow up and do something respectable What is the like I really I'm realizing talking to you Daniel that I have no concept for what like

Norwegian like culture is at like I know the like like I know the like you know you I just you think of just Scandinavia in general I think of it anyways like almost like one place you know what I mean like where it's like you know Northern Lights reindeer meat like you know well that's pretty much the same thing though it is we can even speak our own languages to each other. Oh really? There's it's like they're almost dialects of the same thing sort of. Yeah. And I think similar kind of types of personalities.

Yeah. I mean, it's fucking cold as shit. It's like how long out of the year or is there even a summer or how long is it? It is a summer, but it might be horrific. It's really like not guaranteed. It will be good. Yeah. My mom is always calling me kind of bitching about the summer. Yeah. Are you saying it's like too hot or too cold still?

It could like rain the whole time. Be like one week where it's. Kind of nice. Yeah. But when it's good weather, the whole city changes and everybody's outside and it's pretty nice actually. Yeah. But the winters I remember being lots of snow but now when I go back that's almost gone. Mm-hmm little global warming. I think that's it Yeah, it's around Christmas when I'm there. It used to be like all powder damn. Yeah, it's like slush Yeah, what's the point of being from Norway if you can't get a snowy ass Christmas? That does suck goddamn and is that where everybody because it's always like you think of like, you know

God damn. And is that where everybody, because it's always like you think of like, you know, everybody's six two and blonde as hell. Is that it? Or are you an outlier or do we just have that wrong as well? You remember how you were in the Greek house and you were the representative for Norway? That's actually what you're doing on this podcast too. You're back to being the representative for all Norwegians right now. You're you're answering all our questions. They usually a bit blonder than me. So I'm half South American. OK, so I'm not fully in Norwegian. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Is that why you were in South America? You're saying that's where you're getting the bootleg DVDs. Yeah. Is it your dad's side of the family? Yeah, I was there by myself. Backing. But yeah, I think you have really blonde, almost like cheese. Yeah. A lot of my friends had that type of hair. Yeah, yeah. But when I was in South America, they called me blondie. In Norway I was kind of darker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah. A man between two countries. They call me Russian a lot there. Russian? Rusio. Rusio? I would hear it on the street.

Wow. Flako. That's the skinny guy. Skinny Rusio. Flako Rusio. But yeah, Norway is Some do you know who Holland is right? Yes. Yes. Yes, that's he's from the way looks as Viking as yeah Proper version. I didn't realize he was from Norway. He is. Yes. Cool. That's a cool guy to have he's awesome Oh, yeah, that guy's fucking good as shit. Oh, yeah. And is that so it's big, everybody, do you play soccer?

I did, yeah. Yeah, hell yeah, dude. What position? I was a little bit better there. But when I was actually a kid, I was kind of chubby. So I was very slow. I was good, like technical, but I had to dribble people twice. Yeah, yeah. Because they would like catch up with me. You have to beat him But I loved soccer I watch it all the time

Who do you root for what's the club? You know, I did Manchester. Okay, nice. Do you spend time there, too? I feel like you've lived everywhere. I lived in the UK. Yeah. Yeah, I did go to Old Trafford once. Oh nice Yeah, yeah, what the London for the first time this summer You've been you've been to London was oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean you do is your fit I mean you obviously look hilariously Irish is that what's going on with the yeah, my hey nice Irish English German got you got you got you got you Yeah, it's fucking not it's like I love the UK dude It's so frustrating to go so because I love New York this place rocks

But it does suck when you go somewhere you're like, ah The city's better like they're running. This shit is cleaner The the public transportation actually is like on time and nice to use the it's also old as shit like London you go and there's a building that people been using since like the 1100s that's still like in use and you're like, this is fucking the public part I mean fuck the you know, I was about I was ready to be like the fucking Monarch He can suck my dick fuck their palace and then you go and it's beautiful like in insane public gardens and like flowers,

like bright flowers of every kind. And you're like, damn, they're fucking stunting on us, man. It's nice. I felt that way about Amsterdam last year. Oh yeah. The canals everywhere, like no matter where you live in Amsterdam, you're like looking at a canal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's beautiful. The bike, everybody's riding bikes. You ever fucking live there, motherfucker? No, but I did back there. And I rode a bike, pretty drunk actually. Yeah. In the morning through the city.

Yeah. That's a cool place. It's awesome. I didn't get to see it though. I was just there for two days. Oh really? That's a place where I would, yeah, cause you know, I would imagine that's a great,

it seems to be a great place to do comedy in Europe. Yeah. I, I'm gonna, I'm yeah, cuz you know I would imagine that's a great it seems to be a great place to do comedy in Europe Yeah, I I'm gonna. I'm gonna I'm supposed to European tour last year. I think I'm gonna go this I mean I guess coming up You go to Norway. Yeah. Yeah, I want to go to Norway too for sure. I definitely want to go. I've never been there I want to go check it out, but Amsterdam is very cool, too. I Remember being like pumped for the red light district being like well I'm not gonna go cuz it's you know I'm not but I'm gonna go see in the back of the head being like well I'm not getting a doughnut. I'm just gonna go to the bakery and smell you know what I mean, and then I got there

And it was like so crowded and disgusting It's like you you know, you're like, this water park feels gross to be in. But instead of a water park, because there's too many guys here. Imagine if it's a lady's pussy. That's kind of how I felt. Where it was like there were just guys in line, like, look like closer than we are. Like, but for me and Daniel, they're like seven guys, nut to butt, just arms crossed, waiting to fuck the same

This is cool to you guys I'm not I'm no prude here, but it's like this is just gross Fucking like it's you know I'll pay for pussy. I have no qualms about that, but this is just not it was shocking Yeah, I walked my wife, and I I walked around there and it was like holy shit It's like a man in Times Square But everybody's just going paying to fuck a lady and they're all just like smoking and like Like they have the face of someone who's like five hours into their shift It's like damn sorry this sucks but I guess that you know they probably

make good money but yeah I don't know it was fucking wild I guess you didn't check out the red light district huh Daniel no I saw it in Belgium oh yeah it was some friends it was weird yeah yeah it's funny I didn't I mean it's like women on display in windows yeah Yeah Yeah, it's pretty strange. It is very strange even really look I felt that would be rude Guess that's the point. Yeah, no, they're not. Yeah. Listen, you know, they're trying to get it's an advertisement It would be rude because you're looking with no No, like Yes, yes, yes, it's like getting too many

free samples at Costco it's like go to the mall I just keep getting their weird little orange chicken and they're like all right man you've gotten three little orange chickens either buy something or get the fuck out that's how you know but Belgium huh a more chill red light district. Sounds pretty cool to me. Ah, you know what I love? A nice night out on the town. Whether it's sports, a show, a concert, whatever it is.

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Time app. Create an account and use code STAVVVY for 20 bucks off your first purchase terms apply again create an account and redeem code Stavi STAVVY for 20 bucks off download game time today last-minute tickets lowest price guaranteed. Oh Fuck yeah, I do I've never I do want to go to watch more of Europe because I would just I have just seen Greece Pretty much and I went to Paris I went to Amsterdam But it's like, you know, I want to go to Spain. It's just like I don't know Europe is not like what what are your thoughts of just like being here? Like the quality of life. What's what are your like? Observations because it seems like you've gone to many different you've lived in part different parts of the world

What do you give me give us just a, you know, I have my opinions, but I'd love to hear what you're thinking. I think like America, I really like the people, but it's the hardest place I lived, where I feel I could end up so bad. Yeah, they don't give a fuck about you over here man. You have to pay for everything, you know. Yeah. I think Europe kind of blend together a bit, but then when you go to like Spain or I've been to Greece too, then it feels different. For sure.

Greece definitely feels different. It's also like it's not I feel like there's a part of Europe that's sort of almost like France through like I don't know Germany or whatever like I guess past whatever's past that shit I'm dumb as fuck I don't know geography but it's like just kind of central Europe where it's like it's all connected by train and it's like you could get you know all that backpacking all it's like it's such a small place compared to America like where it's like the equivalent of driving across a couple states but it's so densely populated that it feels like you're seeing so many different cultures all that shit does blend together because

it does make sense that the EU is one place it feels so much like America with different states except obviously and it's fascinating to see You motherfuckers are this close and it's a completely different language and culture That's crazy because you come here and it's like fucking Indiana you drive and it's like Nothing forever and it's like there. It's so cool and packed together in Indiana Like it's exactly the same as like an hour outside of New York. Right. Right, right, right. In the US, exactly the same.

Yeah. Outside of a city. Yeah. Strip malls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the same shit. All the same restaurants. All the same. You know, even the like I think David Cross had a joke about this back in the day where he's like, how do like how do fucking Hicks in New York have a southern accent? How do all how does Indiana have a fucking southern accent?

It feels like you're in the deep south. It's crazy. And it's just like it's four hours south of Chicago. Yeah, it's so it's close. Yeah, it's fucking weird, dude. Yeah, I think Americans, though, you were talking about the happy go lucky guy. Yeah, I think Americans though you were talking about the happy-go-lucky guy Yeah, I think that's how Americans seem to me. Mmm Like you're very good at small talking sure sure sure hanging out in a bar or whatever, right? Right, right? Yeah Americans in general are a bit less handy

Mm-hmm. I Always felt very welcome here. It reminds me of Greeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're definitely different to Europe for sure. Oh yeah. Did you ever feel not, was there a place you didn't feel welcomed? In, actually today. didn't feel welcomed in actually today I really had to pee and I walked into a bar and there was a lady there just me and her and I was like do you mind if I give you five dollars you just put money you were like look I'm gonna pay you grumpy yeah yeah agreed to it wow then I was pretty quick then she was kind of cool yeah yeah wow that's a fast piss and I got five bucks this guy's good

deal for her it's a great deal for her dude are you kidding you I love that you didn't even bother to ask if you could, you didn't even have, you were like, look, I got the five in my pocket, if she says no, I'll slam the five down. You were just like, this is gonna be a business transaction right away. That's fucking hilarious.

When I walked in there, I was like, please don't let it be a woman. I just feel, that would piss off a girl more. It would what? It would piss off a girl more. They would what? It would piss off a girl more. A guy would be, yeah sure. I feel a girl would be a bit more moody. And I was right.

She was not impressed. What kind of dude has used the restroom? Right, what kind of fucking pussy's got to piss so bad he's willing to give me five bucks for it. Yeah, I'll never I'll never fuck this guy this guy's a beta One of those pissing guys That's fucking hilarious But that is us American is tough attitude mm-hmm. Yeah like When I ask some questions and customer supports, I can feel that they don't want to help me.

I don't know how to explain it. It's just that can make me kind of grumpy. Well, I think I think you're onto something here because it's a fundamental thing of like, I mean, it's a fundamental thing of like I mean it's really just capitalist versus like somebody who's doing their job right who's just like you know I just want to get through my horrific job with as little work as possible right that is America that's like I whereas like in

Europe it's like hey I'm getting paid to do this. I'm taking my base. My base shit is covered. My life's pretty fun and easy. Like I get to go. I get to go on vacation for four weeks. It's like maybe I actually will do my job when I'm doing it. I'll do it now. I get a lot of vacation time.

I'm not there a lot. But when I'm in the office, I'll fucking do it. And I'll actually try and help you. Whereas like it's rare when you find someone who just kinda does their job here. And I get that, I get it, right? Like, life is a nightmare in America, as you said. It's like, they don't, none of your basic needs are met.

No one cares about you. It doesn't feel like the country cares about you, like your well-being, like what you're saying, it's the hardest place to live. And it's like,'s like yeah customer service person Just wants to fucking get you off the phone and when you get a good one, it almost feels like a miracle Like I felt closer to somebody who's like just been baseline nice to me Then I have like, you know family members because it feels like so like a Delta employee. That's like

Well, I see I see You know what, technically we could charge you for this, but you make a good point and I fully have it within my power to make this go away and I just will. When someone does that, when they act like a human being, you're shocked when they do it here. Yeah. Because they usually hate you. Hate you.

Openly hate you. You pick up the phone and it's like, you have to ask a lady, like your ex, whose sister you fucked, for like a favor. That's what it feels like when you call a fucking... When you're like, hey, can I just get this refund that I'm entitled to? And they're like, ugh, fuck you. But New York, too, though, is tougher. Like when I was in Colorado, very recently in Vail, they were so friendly. Yeah, well that's almost too much.

It's a resort town though. They're on vacation, you know what I mean? Yeah, but in general Colorado seemed like a lot warmer. They're almost like too stoked to see you. So I remember that in the hotel the lady that was so friendly She really wanted to talk for a while, you know, yeah Yeah, yeah, I thought that was very different to New York. Well, that's definitely true motherfuckers here are like very They're about their business. They're fast here for sure. Hmm. I'm really curious about Daniel's experience when we were filming the movie Yeah, Daniel came out but because of scheduling stuff right you were there for so long there

for so long we it's not needed him where we were was horrible oh yeah we were like an hour and a half outside of Chicago yeah and it was fucking dogshit you were what was the what was the? It was like a holiday in best western. It was like four highways surrounding it. So you couldn't leave. Yeah, like eight lane roads in every direction. I tried crossing the road one day and I got halfway to a pavement.

And it was so many cars. After like, I think seven minutes, I went back again. But I couldn't actually get through. Seven minutes I went back again Ten days And there were nothing around Two different places to eat. Yeah, it was a buffalo wild wings. And what was the other place some kind of Japanese place? Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. Only me in there too But I was like, yeah, just for 10 days. It was quite a lot of time to get in your head. Yeah. Yeah. And think about the film and all that. Right, right, right, right. We were like,

we hit the ground running. Like we were shooting around the clock. Like. Yeah, we, cause we were, yeah, oh my God. Yeah, cause we really did we were like 14 hour days Yeah, and then once every couple of days be like oh my god Daniel's at the hotel It felt like home alone. We're like oh my god. We left Daniel at the hotel all day Well, we didn't would some of them lived where I was yeah, they will come and they will I was great Which is somebody like why didn't they just let you even just come to set and hang out? I don't get that. I mean, not that you fucking missed anything.

They were feeding us dog food, basically. I mean, making a fucking indie movie sucks dick. Like, we love the movie, I'm glad it happened, but you learned so much. Like, we're all comics, we're all comedians who, like, have just been performing and, like, live for our whole careers And I don't know if you guys were the same way, but I definitely had the thought of like it's a movie

We're gonna get on set and like you know not that this like we're Daniel Day-Lewis or anything But it's like you'll really figure out the scene, and it's like no you have fucking we rented some fucking Some ladies house we got to be in and out of there before she calls the cops on us. Like we got to fuck it. We rented this super expensive, like, you know, green screen place for one thing. It's got to go right. Oh, we got to shoot this. Oh, we'll shoot in the parking lot while we wait for shit.

Because we made this movie for so little money compared to how how it looks. Like we have usually when you make a movie that's so On this this low budget you usually keep it to a couple places But we fucking wrote a lot of different locations we had a lot of characters So it was fucking crazy, but but yeah you fucking felt that we were working and then the catering was just like hysterically bad Worse and worse just little by little every day was just like, hysterically bad. It got worse. It was like. Worse and worse, just little by little, every day.

Yeah, yeah. Until it got to a breaking point. Yeah. Where we were all openly like, oh my God, it's so bad. I'll kill myself if I have to eat this. And then they would just go get like pizza. Yeah. But still, it would have been nice to have you on set.

Just to have fun, just to be there, just to see what we were doing I can't believe you were just in a shitty hotel in a strip mall in Like I don't even remember what part of Illinois with truly nothing. I think it was two-hour uber to Chicago There was a target down the road. It was very close, but you couldn't get there on foot. I would Uber down there every day. Every day you would go check out the target?

Yeah. I actually have like hangers and stuff that I bought. Because I was so bored. I came back with hangers. That's so fucking funny, dude. But yeah, no, that was really cool. Yeah. And I noticed that movie was so fast because you shot it in like 28 days, right?

Yeah, it was I think three weeks. Wow, that's crazy. One, it was six day week, one six day week, one five day week and then one six day week. That's right. I think so yeah fast. So I thought we had like two takes yesterday or something. It was crazy dude yeah. It was fucking nuts. I mean like truly you learn that it's just like it's just gotta get done. You learn that it's just like it's just got to get done Like acting is like not even like that's that's why I respect good actors now I was like how hard is it you spend all day to try and get a fucking but it's like you don't have all day

You have like sometimes two opportunities. We're really like fortunate to that Everybody we wrote the parts for like did the movie. Yes We wrote the parts for like did the movie yes We had we wrote character like with you in mind We wrote and we have the rest of the cast is fucking hilarious We should say I mean yeah, Eric and Katie who fucking who are the other members of our cult They're really funny which you know we were trying to get them there in LA Hopefully will me and now this will be in LA doing some stoppies world episodes will get them, but they're they're really fucking funny And then we just have a bunch of cameos

from hilarious people too, but if we didn't have really talented people, we'd be so fucked. We had to like try and explain the joke to people. We felt like everything was in somebody's sensibility, but yeah, who knows? I mean, we think it's good, but now we're just like, yeah, come on, it was hard and we thought it was tough and thank God it got done, but go see it

But no you you learn how fucking hard making a movie is it's fucking ridiculous Especially for YouTube because you're in all the scenes. Yeah, that was crazy. I didn't think about that It really ruined my life honestly That was the start of my relapse for real. We were just like, we would work for 14 hour days and then just get back, get Taco Bell or kebabs or something. We would drive, you know, McDonald's something with our boy, beautiful, with Ben and then Saxon, our beautiful camera operator, who was the man, and we would just get high, I would just get so high I would pass out, and then it would be like,

all right, by the time you know it, time to work another 13, 14 hours, and then do it all over again. And then I would- We also had one car for the four of us. Yeah. And we all had different call times. Yeah.

Like. I know. It sucked dick, But it was fun. It was fun to make a movie. It was the best. But it was like, oh man, we're fucking... I'm just...I had my fast food relapse, man. And I didn't work out because there was no time to work out.

And then after that I went right to on the road. And then my special came out in December of that. So it was like that was what I had to recover from but hey, it's all worth it cuz we it's it's crazy It's insane. They let us make a movie So please if you if you like a bunch of dumbasses making a movie if you don't want to see you know Just the Avengers or whatever the fuck If you like a bunch of dumbasses making a movie, if you don't want to see, you know,

just the Avengers or whatever the fuck, please go see this movie in theaters, for God's sakes. Maybe they'll make us, let us make another one. Holy shit, you hear that? Ooh, that's the swishing of nets from the NBA season starting, folks. You know I'm a hoops fiend. I don't want to brag, I was, you know,

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Oregon, Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance for additional terms and responsible gaming resources CDK ng.co slash b ball Yeah, so why don't we take some calls? I'm excited to hear to hear what you boys have to say to our guests here hit us with some fun stuff here eldest So stop not plan you fucking dumbass Substabbed, sub-guessed. You fucking dumbass. Sub-stabbed, sub-guessed. Nick out here in Kansas has given you a call.

I'm gonna get right to it. Please do. What is your advice for a young blood out here like me, 25 years old, been in a relationship for four years, and for some reason can't figure out whether I'm the pop the question or not for friends are getting married these are bridesmaids three or four times in one year obviously I've got the fucking knife at my throat to figure this out but do you say to a young lad like me you are young lad thinks honestly 25 might be too young to get

married I think it is I don't think I think when I'm 35 I'm not gonna agree with half the shit like 25 year old self's doing right now, so Kid bites your young gun out here like me Time or not Right, yeah, yeah, I mean was you got married young as yeah, I got married at 24. Oh, I think yeah, and you were exactly right my man If you by the way, that's not the wife he mentioned going to Amsterdam with yeah that did not work out Yeah, like I got married yeah 24 I 24, I met her at like 19. I still had the braces on.

Oh, shit. Oh, fuck, this bitch fucked him with the braces on. But I think it should be illegal to get married. If you're a man, like before the age of 30, absolutely, it should be law. Like women mature faster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's some early way that we'll we'll we'll we'll hear exceptions.

But yeah, but no, it's insane. I mean, I feel because Kansas, Illinois, you kind of going through similar or I'm sorry, Indiana, similar like cultural, like cultural like oh everybody's getting married at this age Yeah, and I felt that for sure. Yeah, the culture around me It was like it's time to get married right must right and I was like I don't want to let everybody down Right, right very accommodating. Yeah But I think it should be illegal and you should have to if you want to do it before 30 You should have to go through a series of tests

Like you should have to fill out paperwork, like applications. Yep. Some hoops. We've got to have some hoops you've got to jump through. I mean, yeah, you got to think. And look, also, Wes, you were definitely a guy who was this was not going to be the life for you. I felt the same thing where I had a college girlfriend when I was 21, 22. We started dating in college then. She so clearly wanted to have, like get married,

have a family, her friends, same thing. Even though Baltimore wasn't like, you know, wasn't like Kansas or whatever. She was just a traditional, she was more traditional. And I knew, I knew that wasn't going to happen for me. Like I could see what my life was gonna be like. I knew I wanted, by that time I knew I wanted to stand up. There was no way I was getting married to fucking, I wasn't gonna stay in this relationship, so we broke up, whatever. But there is a possibility this is okay for you.

I mean it works for some people, right? It doesn't sound like. He doesn't sound so stoked though. Right, right, right. If you're sound like he doesn't sound so stoked though, right? Right, right, right if you're having these kinds of thoughts already. I Mean dude, you started doing when you were 21. He had four years. Hmm. I Agree that you have to figure this out, but the answer is get married or end this relationship I mean and that might be scary too, right?

If you're 21 you probably does really love her right like you clearly There's some affection here. He's not just in it for no reason but It does you know all we're going off of is how nervous you sound right like you we don't really have the facts of the case but Everything you're talking about you've said knife to my you said knife to my you didn't say like oh I feel a little pressure but she is the love of my life you're like I have a knife to my fucking throat I'm going to die if I don't marry this woman so I wonder how she would describe it with her words yeah yeah if she heard this what do you think she'd think?

If she heard you say, knife to my throat. And everything he's described has been like societal pressure. It hasn't been... Nothing you've said, buddy, has been about your... You haven't said one positive thing about your girlfriend. You've just said how scared you are and how young you are, and so I think you know the answer in your heart, the way you posed this question.

I think to even vocalize these kind of thoughts, like for me, it took like two mushroom trips to get to that point. Right, that's right. To gain that perspective. Didn't you get it before, it's because you were on mushrooms, you came to it, didn't you say?

Oh yeah, my ex-wife played a mean prank on me when I was on mushrooms. And that was a real breaking point. Yeah. I was like, that was just cruel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, sent me like a cryptic text message. When she knew you were on mushrooms.

Yeah, like trying to fuck with me and it works. Yeah, that's so fucked up. That's grounds for divorce. Yeah, he needs to do with me and it works. Yeah, that's so fucked up. That's grounds for divorce Yeah, he needs to do shrooms threat. Yeah, that's not a bad. You know what? Actually, yeah Legit shrooms have honestly led me into some actual life Breakthroughs truly absolutely which is crazy. You know that say this is the kind of podcast you're You're calling into but yet doucherooms if you're not ready to pull

the trigger on i don't think i'm just gonna say fuck this just break up with her he just fucking moved to where you want to live do you want to be in kansas do you want what do you want from your life you uh... truly now is a moment to figure it this shit out. You don't Propose to someone and hope it cut in figure it out You really have to sit there think about what you want your life to look like if

It does involve this woman if it does being ready if you're ready to commit which again all of us Nobody on this couch or even in the producers chair. I'm gonna say thinks you are but if you really think that That's fine. But you have that now is your time to think about what you want. And by the way If when you sit down and think about it, you're like, I don't fucking know I'm 25 and I've been in this relationship as I was right out of college or in college That's really valid, but that means you can't marry this woman, so that's what you got to do and yeah maybe mushrooms is really the way to go you shout out to mushrooms man a mushroom ship got me to take my health seriously we're down 40 pounds this year this calendar year all right yeah that guy's fucked. Hey, Stav, Eldis, and any guests they got on.

Here's the situation. I am 29. I've been with my girl for coming on 40 years now. She's an amazing girl, lover. We both understand each other, open and honest about all of our sexual taste and proclivities But back before I met her I got dumped by a girl who I was with for five years and I kind of went on a little Little walkabout sexual walkabout if you will nothing wrong with that and looking up with a guy No trying stuff out Problem was he ended up being a really really nice guy like

Fucking this guy we're really cool The problem is I fucked someone I liked. Hahahaha! And because he wasn't a crazy chick, I could remain friends with him. That's what the... Uh, that's so fucking awesome. Yeah, let's hear the rest of this.

I am pumped for the rest of this call. Fubs. And I... I've continued to talk to him this call and i i've continued to talk to him for like or five years now and i want to like be friends with this guy

and i want to tell my girl about parking this day but i also don't want to ruin the relationship we have and she would probably understand it but I'm still kind of scared. I mean we have a very open and honest relationship. She's told me all this stuff in her past. So like sex clubs, orgies, all this shit. But I'm just afraid that me dropping this now after three or four years in a relationship is kind of like a weird bomb trail. She's already opened up the stuff. I mean the only reason I didn't open up to it was because I was afraid that it would be a deal breaker. But either way, I don't know.

What do you guys got on this? You know, should I just keep it? Like, hey, this is my buddy that I just went to school with, which was the thing I told her. I was like, hey, this is my... They never met. They went to sucking each other's cocks academy we went to school oh I told her I was like hey this is my we would they never met but like I'd be like hey I'm talking to my buddy Jake uh we went to school we knew we never went to school I just fucking met him on Grindr one night when I was fucking drinking way too much

You know depressed about it really but I Don't know See ya See what you got. This is awesome. This guy's so fucking cool, man And and normally it would be like if we got this call if I just read it I'd be like L. There's someone this is fake, but you hear it in this guy's voice If I just read it I'd be like L this someone this is fake, but you hear it in this guy's voice Met a cool guy who he fucked in the ass and now they just fucking play fucking Madden or whatever the fuck together We didn't meet it. We did school. I was on Grindr

Okay, I mean number one this is fucking hilarious, but number two I Look if your girl is like a Freak she probably loved she would probably love this this is like if she's a bi girl You know how fucking how much cred a bi girl dating a straight guy if she gets to sneak you into the category of even sort of gay Big win amongst her bisexual friends. You know what I mean? That's I really think like some women don't get me wrong Some women who act cool about like, you know being allies or whatever they would hate this They would there are women out there who are secretly more conservative than they let on for sure, right? There are women out there who are secretly more conservative than they let on for sure right?

You're this this girl does not seem like that to me right like I know she seems like she would probably love the fact that you got your dick sucked and maybe you sucked a little dick and Even you being nervous about it It's understandable right like this guy clearly is dealing with he might be little, he's clearly a little bi and he's having a hard time coming to terms with that and so I think you're a little, that's the only reason you didn't open up. Why would this be a deal breaker? I think it's because he likes the other guy so much.

As a friend you mean? Yeah, I think he thinks. Like if he wasn't in his life he would have been like, oh yeah look, I also fucked the guy. But like, you're right, that's true. That does complicate things. This other dude makes him so happy. Yeah, maybe you should date this guy.

I think that's where the issue is. Like... Yeah. Right. He's over the moon about it. Must be an amazing guy though. Yeah. Right over the moon about Yeah, no I will say he the other guy must be pretty cool like think about when you randomly hook up with someone and then you Know sex continue to be friends. That's a very cool person straight or gay like there's no girl that I hooked up with it

I was like, you know what? I don't want any pussy. I just want to get lunch Like this guy's fucking cool. So but I think you might actually be honest something here Daniel too because maybe they're this guy and we're completely armchair psychologists here, but Is there something to It was a you're like it's a one-time thing. Clearly you have a little shame about this. Otherwise, he would have told his girlfriend about it. Is there an element of this where it's like, he kind of does want to be a little more gay and he can't...

And he can't open up about that to his girlfriend? Like, does he have any kind of romantic feelings here for the guy? Or even like, even if they're not serious, if, if, let's say you were in an open relationship with your With your girlfriend would you occasionally get the odd suck off from your pal here and there? Maybe you know what I mean, but That's all we can only that's all conjecture on our part dealing with his actual question The fact that it's a friend is a little weirder, right? Like even if you take, let's just, let's make it a straight situation, purely straight, where it's like, if I had a friend who I hooked up with once, like a girl that we hooked up,

we started dating, we used to, we used to, we hooked up once and then I was like, ah, I wasn't feeling it, but she's cool. And I brought her around my girlfriend and it just never was the right time to tell her we hooked up. And now it's four years later, and you're like, you have to tell her, hey, it was one thing. Like, that's just weird in and of itself, let alone the like element of him. I actually feel like the fact that it's a guy

makes that part a little easier. If you truly are, if it truly was a one time thing, you're like, look, I had a little, I was kind of in my wild phase, I hooked up with this guy, wasn't for me, he was a chill bloke though. Like that actually is not that hard to explain. In fact, you know him and he's here.

In fact, yeah, we didn't go to school, we met at a glory hole. There was just something about those lips on the other end of that glory I was like that's a pair of lips I could drink a beer with not just get my dick sucked by and we only kissed through the girl So it was pretty straight if you think about it and I was it was looking at a picture of a chick the whole time So yeah, I don't know I think I think our caller here has a little shame some gay some internalized homophobia a little bit If you think that's a deal-breaker, but you've you've talked about how open and you guys are both kind of freaky

It sounds like in this relationship. This is nothing to a freaky bitch, dude. This is absolutely Again freaky girls by girls would love to be able to drop in a conversation You know my boyfriend actually fucked a man. Yeah, I actually think for some women That's a positive and this might be one of them the type of girl you're talking about former orgy sex club girl but either way, I think you should come close, just get it off your chest, because it's an opportunity to not keep anything from your girl, right? Like you guys are, you're clearly in a serious relationship, you really care about her. You shouldn't have a deep dark thing, especially when it's not a big deal.

It's really not. You hooked up with somebody and then you stayed friends with them. That's not that fucking crazy. That happens to a lot of people, dude. So you know, I think you're good here. I think you've built it up and I think given where I'm taking it, I'm taking what you're saying for granted here that you and your girl are this open with each other. And I think this actually be a really nice moment for you where you get something off your chest you realize it's not a big deal you were building it

up for no real reason and the shits good and then you know maybe you tell her about it she's like oh really that's hot can I watch you get your dick sucked by him and then maybe you guys can all fuck who knows I don't know how freaky the relationship is but a lot of options here and that is that is awesome that's really you know when people say it's hard to make friends as an adult this guy really figured it out this guy got his dick sucked and got a buddy he didn't have to join a dodgeball league or anything oh fuck that's a great call hi sorry i'm calling i get

but i need a male opinion though i'm twenty seven in lake you know living in the same world they're living in whatever but it is like that's true i can't get over how much like what hot from women has changed from like Curve like Kim Kardashian looking like fat ass and like six eyes and stuff

Which I'm equipped with to now. It's like heroin. She could back in where it's like any tiny girls That like have a 12 year old body and like wear baby clothes and like have the whole daddy persona thing like and like to reach their own and stuff but like are there men out there that still like women with like kids and Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus Christ, what have we done to women? We got a bitch with big tits and a fat ass wondering if people will fuck her? I'm so sorry about society, man. This is fucking crazy. But we'll finish your call, but Jesus, yeah, you're fine. Let's finish the call. I do have some thoughts on you know how cyclical all this stuff is

But let's let's completely hear out. I mean, but just the sentence are there still a man out there They're like women with tits and butts Yes, there are Let's finish the rest of the call Turning 27 is like your body changes and like I think in good way. Yeah, but it's no fear like nobody wants I Don't know. It just seems like everyone wants like super like flat no everything so that they just know like children like

You know wear little Lacy socks and stuff versus like dressing little lacy socks and stuff versus like dressing like a woman and like I get the appeal because it's like dominance or whatever but like women like to be dominated I don't know like just what what do men and also do men really care about like like I have curly hair and I damaged it so many years for straight- What's going on? Pause this. Is this a girl that's just trying to get me to fuck her? She's- I mean, this is everything I've talked about I like. She's like, oh I have big fat tits, fat ass and curly hair.

I've been on the rec- what are you, redhead-asian also? What the fuck's going on here? I mean, this is insane. She's checking everything off anyway. Keep going. This is fucking nuts Like I have curly hair and I damaged it so many years for straight Like do you guys like really look at tiny details of like oh wow She really did her eyebrows really well and like, cuz that's changed too. It used to be really thin, like arched eyebrows and now it's like full eyebrows. Like, the women have just gone insane with their standards of changing things. Yeah.

And it's hard to like keep track to know what is, like, do men's standards change with the times? Like at the same rate that no that's for themselves are changing I guess I don't know. I guess any advice Regarding that would be cool. I don't even really know what I asked Yeah, thank you. You're doing a really great job I love your comedy and you're hilarious and this podcast is often awesome It's awesome and hi to the Albanian guy too, thank you.

Disrespects Eldest too, I mean, this is my dream girl. Fat tits, curly hair, doesn't even know Eldest's name. Text her back, ask her to go out with me, Eldest, Jesus Christ. Okay, so there's some interesting, first of all, number one, god damn it's hard being a woman, man. It's like this lady's like, she's so worried about, and I do, there is some, I mean she is not wrong. I have definitely seen a little bit more of the like, there seems to be, you know, celebrities are getting skinny again

in a weird way. People have said it's something about how surge like getting a BBL and fake tits is now like Affordable and once it became affordable for people like now rich people like well the hard thing is to be skinny and now that's It's it's always like you know and you see it the Kardashians are on fucking Ozempic probably their tits aren't as big like And I also know the things she's saying about the there is a little bit of that like You know the the lacy sock I know what she's talking about I've seen a little bit of that about the you know style wise or whatever girls are kind of Being all there's a version of being super feminine. That's kind of out there. It seems

the good news is When it comes to fashion when it good news is when it comes to fashion when it comes to trends when it comes to anything men are ten years behind so even if this were true right and it's half true it's not getting to guys for ten years and then the even better news is that tits what tits are never going out of style, I'm sorry. This is a currency that is like gold. No matter where you go, tits will always be, will always, that money spends anywhere, okay?

That's very important to know. And yes, gay guys will not say you ate anymore, right? The definition of what's serving cunt now it's being skinny. Like gay guys won't review your outfits and be like, wow, she's awesome. Straight guys will continue to fuck you until the end of time. There's nothing to worry about. What you're worried about is culture at large. And I also do think there's a little bit of a,

I don't, I do think, like the idea of body acceptance and body positivity, that's not going anywhere, right? So even if like, even if like hairstyles and dressing styles, whatever, people are more accepting of all types of bodies and you happen to have a body type that I promise you is not going fucking, is not going out of style.

But I don't know, like have you guys noticed any of the stuff she's talking about? Like I never heard a thing that you should dress like a child. Yeah. In some manner or so. Yeah. Also who is making the trends?

That's not manly. Gay guys. Gay guys. And like social media too. It's like yeah, it's happening faster and faster And it's like impossible to keep up with yeah, absolutely so don't you just be yourself just be yourself You're clearly a little neurotic too, but particularly what you're worried about is just Like I don't know it is trans. it's mass culture trends, it's not interpersonal relationships, right? It is not, and you're right too Wes,

where things are changing so fast, that kind of, it's almost like, well now no one can actually keep up. So it's almost freeing in that, a lot of people are just gonna find your personal niche, find your personal style, find how you feel comfortable dressing. If you wanna take elements from what's popular,

you're like, oh, I kinda like that, maybe I'll do that. But you just have to be in your own skin comfortable, as cliche as it is, you have to just find a thing that works for you, and maybe you can change it at the margins, right like you know you can wear a lacy sock or whatever I do I don't know exactly know what you're talking about but I definitely have seen like I guess it's called I've seen people posting about like a some kind of a set like it's they name a different aesthetic every like you know like soft girl aesthetic or

like I mean it used to be like trad wife aesthetic now maybe the thing she's talking about is like a coquette aesthetic I think I've seen like but it's just shit that I don't even feel like is a it's like I think it comes and goes in like two weeks or so right it's so fast she seems to be one of the first to have these concerns right right right. You're you maybe your biggest problem is how plugged in you are, right? Like you see this stuff, but but yeah, the dangers that are looming the day.

The other that are coming just around the bend. Don't straighten your hair like that's that's a perfect example though, right? Getting damaged to your hair because you're trying to fit in. Figure out a way to live and dress that makes you feel good and comfortable and people will be out there for it. What were you gonna say, Eldis? I was gonna say too, there's like so many different ways to be hot, like there might be like more prevailing standards at any given time, but like, you know,

look back at any era of like celebrities, you'll find celebs of like all different types from like the 60s and 70s who are like skinny or a little for sure You know thicker or whatever and they're just like, you know There's just like, you know guys really don't care about like yes and there's like men definitely like it's like if a girl's hot She's just hot. It doesn't matter like what type of body she is. There's just like something that you know, you wanna fuck She is there's just like something that you know you want to fuck Sometimes women are just something that you want to fuck

And I do think the other thing to realize is that like trying to keep up with trends is just a losing proposition right like it's and also it's like I think the other thing to realize is that trying to keep up with trends is just a losing proposition, right? Yeah. Like, it's... and also, it's like, you're... I'm not saying you're old in any sense, but you're just 27, you should stop caring about this shit right around this age, right? Like, hopping on the trends, like... You put your time in before you... Yeah, in your 20s, it's like, you're keeping up with all this shit. It's like just You're you're a little in your head. It's it's clear You're a little nervous about this shit

But like you're Pat you know trying to keep up no one will ever keep up People drive themselves fucking crazy keeping up even people that are keeping up with it have fucking stylists have assistance have it's impossible to do it Yourself every celebrity you're like I love how they dress they pay someone whose job is to find outfits all day Jeff Goldblum has a fucking stylist he's didn't become fashionable and fucking 60 you know what I mean like the same thing with every hot woman it's like that their team is insane you're not competing against you know people say we have all the same 24 hours in the day. No we fucking don't.

People with assistants have, that's three more fucking hours a day. They have a chef, that's fucking two more hours a day. They have a fucking maid, that's two more hours a day. Like, you're competing with these trends that are insane. Find some shit that's coming for you. You've got some, you've got some very good things going for you in terms of, that's the thing,

you're not even like, I'm busted. Like you're not saying I'm an ugly ass bitch, you're like, I have huge tits and a fat ass. What is this? Do I have to be skinny? It's like, the truth is we do live in a cruel world where if you are ugly, life is harder. You're not ugly it sounds like, you know what I mean?

Like you got, you got, you're just like worried about exactly crushing trends. No one keeps up with trends. The key is to, and by the way, even if you were fucked up looking, I think a big part of this show is, the best thing you can do is self-acceptance. And you know, my whole thing,

now obviously it's easier when you're a man I'm ugly and fat as shit my life's awesome. You know what I mean like but just accept yourself. You're good Don't try and keep up with this shit. And yeah hilarious hilarious fear to have I Want eldest I want you to do like a I Want eldest I want you to do like a Picture of you like a really nice portrait and then get the quote you said in cursive Something that you want to fuck eldest Sula we gotta we gotta start doing that the eldest quote of the episode Hey, my beautiful Mediterranean man, LV, great Albanian giant and esteemed guest.

So I'm dealing with this situation. I'll try not to ramble. But recently turned 30, I'm trying to get my life back on track. And I started working out hard in the gym five days a week, two hours each morning. It's been good for my mental health. It's been good, you know, me and my wife, just feel healthier and pushing her to be

healthier and it's nice all around. One problem that I've noticed from it though is that I am horny all the time now. I was already horny before, but now I cannot get through the day without masturbating two to three times a day. And if I don't masturbate, I feel like it affects my mood. I get anxious or I'll get a little, you know, angry at these small things. And if it goes on longer than a couple days, I just get straight up depressed. Kind of affecting my marriage a little bit because my wife, Lovito, never matched mine before this.

And now it's gotten to the point where I'm begging her for sex just to get this poison out of me. And I'm feeling like it's just a problem. I don't want to stop working out, but I Used to take anti-depressants and one side effect that I noticed is that my dick didn't really work I hated how I felt on it, but I'm seriously considering going back on it Just to get the monster back in the cake. Jesus Christ Any advice would be much appreciated. Love you guys.

Holy fuck. This man is afflicted. He's dangerously horny. He's dangerously horny. How long do you say he's been working out? Like, he just started? Recently turned 30. I'm trying to get my life back on track.

And I started working out hard in the gym five days a week, two hours each morning Great. Yeah, I mean Damn, you might even out But I mean don't chemically castrate yourself I don't don't go on a fucking pill you hated to make your dick soft Well, it could be different though now that he's in a different body now, right? Right, right? Maybe it would affect him differently true That's true, but I think part of this is if this is relatively new Hmm I do think this will level out

I do think there's something to just getting a little healthier all your hormones are a little like you're just you're just activated You're not as depressed things aren't tamped down Yeah, I mean hopefully this evens out. I don't know what to tell you. Very, way too horny. And he's working out two hours a day, going to work, beating off at work, and then trying to fuck his wife when he gets home. That's crazy, dude. You're thirty. Sickom dad style, begging wife for sex. Yeah, yeah, well, what if I do the dishes? Angry, cause he can't, cause his dick is so hard it makes him angry at the little things.

I mean, wild, dude. Two to three times a day This level of being horny is kind of crazy Was he has he lost weight or is this just the working out? I guess he hasn't said it There's some weight loss or something. I mean, you know, I would say for starters Well, just keep beating off a couple times a day. That's not that big of a deal You know like the workout in the morning or beat off when you wake up before or after your workout right beat off once a night mm-hmm if you're beating off at the office you should probably like try to rate reel that in but if you must you

must if it's like a long lunch yeah but it you gotta do. But it's like, you know, yeah, just keep beating yourself off, holding yourself up. I mean, I would ask him what does he want the solution to be? You can't fuck your wife three times a day. Like, even be realistic here. You can

fuck your wife a little more than you're currently fucking her, but you're both adults with fucking busy schedules. You don't get to fuck the way you did in college so what is your end game here yeah like do you want to fuck your wife daily or something is that like you know realistic for time and shit start there and i don't know i think it will just kind of like level out it sounds like this it sounds like he's sort of replacing his antidepressants with exercise So it does seem like all of very new like he's going through something very chemical right and it's it's like a perfect Storm of shit so getting off the antidepressants that killed his boners that might have just done it on its own

Yeah, you're right out this is two big things right off Antidepressants and actually work because I've been working out And I definitely feel like a sense of I'm not as fucking horny as this guy probably much fatter than him, too But it definitely makes you feel like more in touch with like your like just chemically You're using your body the way it's supposed to be used like I just feel Things more is all I can say right Like by exercising more and by losing some weight, hormones are, you know, you get more bang for your buck. But yeah, you're right.

Combining that with getting off the off antidepressants, that's a big swing. It sounds like an Axeman right now. Yeah, yeah. It's just so strong in all types of ways. Yeah. It's just so honest. Like you couldn't even say this to your tyro And I think you also have to have to realize like I mean how long has this been going on? Give yourself a little time to level out get used to the new normal if you're still this dangerously horny. It's like

What's the solution because even if you're he doesn't like you know we get to call all the time where it's a guy lost Weight and he's or just anyone is trying to get permission for he wants our permission to cheat He's not real this could be the preamble to that a little bit to like I'm so horny my wife won't fuck me But even if you were to cheat you would have to be compulsive to satisfy this level of urges like it's not like you can get a fucking You'd have to like This is a mistress doesn't solve this You would have to cheat and then probably frequent sex workers, like you would have to scratch this itch.

Truly would be a problem. And so I would say give yourself a little time to let the chemicals balance out. And if this is still going on, then we're not talking, we're talking about something pathological Like this is a level of horny. That's not just Chemical if you keep it up over like two to three months and beating off this much and even wanting to fuck that much Is there something psychological going on that you need to talk about? What's triggering this if it's not just the gym might just be the gym and in which case you know?

Dial it because do an hour each morning morning yeah two hours of the kind of and maybe the rock yeah yeah he says he was already horny before right he does say he's a horny guy so maybe there is like whatever he does if he tries to better his life that's always a side effect mmm just get even yeah yeah gets hornier. You're right. So yeah, already a horny guy to begin with. So yeah, dude, I don't know.

Maybe I, you know, do you want to go to therapy and talk about why your dick is so hard? Maybe, legitimately. Like, because like, beating off multiple times a day, you're talking about middle school levels of horny, dude. That's crazy. Especially at 30. That's kind of nuts I'm sorry two to three times is not even that many times a day like every fucking day I don't know. What are you talking about works from home or something like that's that's nothing

You beat off three times a day If I work from home, yes, which by the way you do If I work from home, yes, which by the way you do If I work from home, it's not a crazy thing to have a day where I beat off like, okay I'm a day that can get away from you. This guy's talking about it's the normal elders What are you talking about? You don't beat off three times. You don't average three time three Dejaculations a day. I don't know. Not every day, but... It's just not that crazy or something. It's kind of... If he's at home all day... Oh, but if you don't beat off, you get angry? Yeah, would you get angry? That's the question. Would you get really

angry if you didn't? Not angry, but maybe antsy or something all right give us a because I think one a day is kind of like okay if you beat off once a day that's totally normal totally normal although some people might find that to be a lot right like every single day but look one a day I'm giving you no questions asked two I'm hearing an, but I think we're getting a little weird. Three, no way for a man who's 30 is regularly jacking off three times normal. It just is not, Eldis. I'm sorry. Now, I'm not saying you can't have a three day.

You certainly have a three day. You have a two day, I totally get it. But that's a lot. That's fucking crazy. And also, you recently spent the night at my house for over five days. And you told me you didn't jack off because you had no private space for those five days. And you did not seem very antsy to me. I didn't jack off in those days. But that's because we're like very busy. We're busy with a lot of work stuff, a lot of activities.

So that gets your mind off it. Right. A lot of dishes. Yeah. I'm just saying this guy's talking about he's working out and going to work. Doesn't that sound busy? He's talking about he's gotta jack off multiple times a day. Something's wrong.

Something's fucking wrong here and he's gotta get to the bottom of it. That's all I'm saying. All right, fair. El's just fucking saying he jacks off three times a day. And let's take it to the panel here. What do you guys think about the frequency of jacking off? What's a normal number?

That sounds like a lot. Yeah, three is a lot, thank you. Three's a lot. Yeah, thank you. I'm not saying I do do it every single day. Come on. I'm saying it's not that crazy. We work from home.

Look, we're not having this argument. We just had this argument. We're not having it again cyclically. I'll get off the how many times can you beat off Hill. But yeah, dude, I don't know. I honestly think you might want to talk about your, you're right, he says he's a horny guy to begin with. This might not be a bad thing to talk to a therapist about.

Sexual stuff like this. I think you're out of the realm of normal horniness, but anyway, who's to say? What else we got, Big LD? Hey, Stahl, big fan of the show. I just have a real kind of weird question to ask. So recently, I went on a blind date. Could I recently, not recently, but I got out of a long-term relationship this year. We were getting girls, had been together about four years.

And so my friends had sort of a blind date with a girl she knew that she thought I'd like a lot. And we met and we hit it off. So the date was great. You know, we have a fuck that's important because personality-wise we get along great. We have a lot of same interests, symptoms of humor. Main problem is

she looks she had like my sister and i'm not saying like all that from a hair color or the right color like you put those two next to each other and they are like all those carbon-carbon and i don't know how to deal with that personality-wise like we get along great uh... very are the way thing that tried to

but i want to look at the other you know uh... i keep going for that no that he wants to go on their date uh... personality level i want to go on their date but i don't know what to do based out he can't i mean this is crazy Want to go another date, but I don't know what to do. Thanks, Bob

He can't I mean this is crazy You can't fuck someone that looks like your sister. What are you? What are we talking about here unless this lady unless this girl like shaves her head for something? She's got to make extreme changes to her appearance, but you're saying they look just like each other and You're even considering... What if you have to fuck her? You're gonna be looking at someone who looks just like you? I mean, this is fucking weird, dude. If you wanted to do this, that would be so fucked up.

This is cra- You can't do that. That's nuts. Not only that, then every time you see your sister after that... Yeah! That really is- That's fucking weird dude it's hard to say without like seeing them side-by-side like he's saying cuz don't know it is don't you think this could be something like could this be something that's in his mind and in his mind they just have like certain features that reminds him exactly of each other if to an outside cares? Is the outside guy gonna fuck her or no?

Who all the men... Yeah, I guess that would make it worse now that I'm saying it. Yeah! If they don't look alike and he's just like, she looks just like my sister. Yeah, dude, I mean, this guy... Okay, this shows you how little pussy this guy's gotten. That he's even considering doing this.

That he's like he's like I just got out of a relationship his friend set him up on a blind date clearly trying to get him out back out there and he's just so desperate for pussy that he's like yeah I could fuck a girl that looks like my sister like you can't do this I want to know did the friend does the friend know the sister true the friends is in the wrong here. That's true Maybe maybe not I mean, you know, I could see a friend not knowing exactly what you know I mean like there's some friends I know who they don't they don't know my brothers look like, you know

I mean like they've heard of you know, they know that they've you know I tell stories about them, but they don't and even if they've met them it's not like they have it You know their mind it's burned into them. So I can see that. But I think what's going on here is that you just need to get, this is actually good for you. Because it shows you how bad you wanna fuck. That you're willing to consider fucking someone that looks like your blood sister.

This is even, if she looked like a step-sister, we're back in business That's actually weird and hot It's like looks like a stepsister not a stepsister Crate you can't do this, but you need to stay out there. That's that's what this is to me and Yeah, he doesn't say if it's attractive to our either. I Think it's cool. They say he is, though, is the weird thing. So he is.

He said he said it. Well, he said he wants to go on another date personality wise. He really likes her and he's clearly thinking about fucking her. Like he's already thought about it, right? And he's like, can I? So it's like he's putting it through the program. He's putting it through the, can I fuck this woman program.

So yeah. He seems like he's quite up for it, to be honest. Yes. It's just one a second opinion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This, yeah, he's just kind of downplaying. He's like, I find it weird. I definitely am not harder than I've been in years

at the prospect of fucking someone that looks like my sister You can't do this. This is fucked up sucks that she's cool It does it sucks that if her person I was in a different woman you would like to date her But I think some things are too fucking weird now. I don't have a sister Eldest what would you do in this situation? I don't know, I mean. I've never been through it, so I don't really know. You're the man today, dude. Three times is normal, and who's to say

if I fuck my sister's doppelganger? But you're being honest, you can't really tell until you're face to face with the gun in your face how you're being honest, you can't really tell until you're face to face with the gun in your face how you're going to react. Yeah, I vote this is crazy you can't do this. That's just weird on a basic human level. What do you got? You got something nice for us here, Eldis?

What's up, Staph? First time in a long time, you know the whole thing. So, not really a problem, more of just like a how do I go about it problem. Date this girl, love her, definitely gonna marry her, love my life, she's awesome. Um, but before we were dating, I was seeing this girl who was just a fuckin' freak in the bed. And I'm not saying the sex is bad, the sex is great, it's really just with blow jobs I'm not hogging I don't have a fucking crazy dick or anything but she like barely puts it all the way in her mouth

I feel like she's just not trying that hard how do I go about being like yo I want you gagging and fucking oh okay let's relax I'm like the Pac-Man guy, like you know, that's him. That's what I want. What do you say he's like what kind of guy? Yeah, I guess. Like a Pac-Man guy? Oh, I see. But no, they will be married and I'll forget about it, but awesome, thanks, love you. Eldest, you're the man. How do I get my soon-to-be wife to suck my cock better?

An interesting, an interesting quandary. Your fans are quite weirdos. Yeah, well we like to have open and honest lines of communication and so they feel very comfortable. Now look, I see where this guy's coming from right you know you want to be able to get top-notch head from your wife I think it's a losing proposition to compare compare To an X or even somebody doesn't even sound like you dated like

There's a reason you're not with someone who's that good at sucking dick, bro Like there's a reason the freak thing just fell apart right like there's a reason you're not with someone who's that good at sucking dick, bro. Like, there's a reason the freak thing just fell apart, right? Like there's a reason for that. So it's unfair to highlight her best attributes versus a person who, you know, is better in every other single way. It's like, yeah, okay, what are you going to do? So you don't get everything. And especially when you said the sex is good.

Now it sounds like you want us to teach you how to be good at fucking Like what what am I supposed to tell you how to fuck your wife? You got to figure that out pal It's definitely a possibility. You can definitely get better head from a woman who fears you in the bedroom not fears Not fears but like you're he clearly he's like How do I get her to gag and fucking gargle on and that made me uncomfortable because it's like that's how you're supposed to talk To her when her dick is in your mouth when your dick is in her mouth Don't talk to me that way Say that when your dick is in her mouth

Then maybe you might happen, but you can't be timid with your wife and a big shot around on the voicemail at Stavi's World. Apply some of that gumption to her and I think you'd like what you find. But my guess is you're being timid about the whole thing. And yeah, I don't know. I wonder how he talks to her and realises why. Yeah, no, he's super polite. For sure, for sure.

And by the way, there's nothing wrong with that, but it's also like, if you want this kind of behavior, if you want that level of getting your dick sucked, you might have to earn it from some people. Like some women, yeah, they're virtuosos. Sometimes it's LeBron. Put whoever you want on that team. He's gonna be incredible. But other people are not so good. They need to be coached up You know what I mean your wife is clearly not a feet a dick sucking phenom, but she can be a systems player supporter Surround her around build a team of support around her right you have to take you have to be you know

She's got to be a game manager at Sucking Dick. You gotta put all the elements there for her so that she's good at sucking dick. You might have to walk her through it, whatever, like, you know, be like more vocal about what you want, but again, I cannot make you fuck your wife better. You have to do that.

You should also just talk to her just you know you have to start with like dirty talk like when you're mid fuck especially if you don't do that regularly right like right that would be so funny I have like a candid conversation be like I think we could spice things up yeah what do you think and just start from there yeah absolutely can we try some stuff I've been thinking that I'm kind of a pac-man guy yeah and I want that Hawk to uh Can you paint your whole face yellow and suck my dick and go?

While you do it Yeah, I think that's the answer here. There's no I don't know what else to tell this guy Talk to your wife talk to your wife be better fucking her that's really it something to go out on now this what do you think yeah this is kind of more of an anecdote ties into something we brought up earlier with Daniel okay let you guys hear it and respond I love it it. I'm gonna try this again. I went to Norway during college for a study abroad thing for like six months and while I was over there most of our most of my friends ended up being other exchange students. I have a question about an Albanian that I met over there.

Oh, man. His name, which you should probably bleep, was... Something like that. And he had to leave probably about a month and a half into the whole semester because he had to go back to Albania to deal with a court case because he had stabbed a guy and I asked him about it and I was like, you know, I heard you stabbed a guy but you're obviously, you know, you

don't seem to be a violent person or, you know, out of control. So what happened? He's like, well, this guy was trying to fight my brother. And so I stabbed him. And I was like, expecting a little more of a story than that. And I was like, okay, what, you know, did your brother have a knife? And he's like, no. And I was like, did that guy have a knife?

He's like, no. I was like, so this guy trying to get in a fist fight with your brother, so you stabbed him. He's like, fuck yeah. That like, so this guy trying to get in a fist fight with your brother, so you stabbed him. He's like, fuck yeah. That's exactly what happened. Okay, cool. Well, good luck, man.

And I just figured I would probably not see him and he would be going to jail in Albania instead of coming back. But he did come back. He was only gone for about a week and he was like cleared of all charges, didn't need to deal with it anymore. We all went out and partied and he didn't do anything too crazy the whole time anyway. So my question is, is this like a normal part of Albanian culture? You can be a normal guy and then occasionally stab someone who's trying to get in a fight with your brother.

Do I need to do anything in the future to like scream for Albanians that I meet for like how likely they are to whip a knife out in any given situation? That's awesome. Point me in the right direction on this because I don't have much experience with Albanians. You have one that's remarkably well-trained. Thank you, yeah.

So I figured I'd give you a call and catch your thoughts on this. I mean, why do you think stuff needs me on the road? It ain't to set up some fucking cameras. It's the look in the crab for those people looking at it. Yeah. It's funny. Elders has a knife on him at all times.

This is awesome. Yeah, he went to... Well, the thing you don't realize is he went to Albanian court, but what that entailed was he had to mud wrestle the other guy. And so he probably just beat him in a nude mud wrestling contest and was then absolved of all charges. So that's kind of the traditional Albanian judicial system. So that's probably why he got off scot-free.

But I don't know, El, this is a very stabbing culture. I've never heard of a stabbing, but I wouldn't be surprised if I heard some tale from my relatives abroad that involved a stabbing or something. I don't know. The courts also seem like kind of loosey goosey in general. Sure. Yeah, who knows what, I mean I'm sure it wasn't mud wrestling, but maybe, you know, maybe there is a little envelope of maybe maybe there was even

some skipping the whole thing and no one followed up going back to Norway sure sure sure I don't know I haven't I haven't heard of any well yeah it's like feasible but mm-hmm I don't know interesting was is it violent over there people fucking because I know in England or still stab each other You guys remember when I was a kid they were like people had knives But they figure out where you could stab someone without hurting them That's where they would stab you is like it wouldn't cause damage Yeah, and they were just trying to rob you I guess or what so when we fight at a school

There was a rule you couldn't hit in the face Yeah, I honestly like that though cuz it's like look kids are gonna fight Yeah, just don't hit each other in the face fuck each other up in the body. That's fucking hilarious Yeah, is there what's the is there like a dangerous part of town? Like what's the most criminal? What's the is it like a crime? You're known for is there a drug you there's a lot of heroin heroin. Oh classic. That's the big one. Yeah That's a good one of the big ones. Yeah. Yeah, I think cocaine is like a recent thing. Mmm, because I heard now that is like that's like more new in Norway.

Interesting. But I think if someone stabs you maybe you should keep a distance. From the Albanian stabber? Yeah, like be a guy you wouldn't want to wound him up or anything. I agree with that. Yeah, don't wind up. Get him like agitated. Yeah. Well, it's nice to get these first person reports of Albanian dogs across the world. Thank you for calling in.

If you know of an Albanian criminal, please let us know so we know to avoid. But you know, we're happy everything turned out well for your friend over there. Well guys, I think that's going to's gonna do for us thanks for coming this was fucking awesome guys please watch the movie all three of us are in it baby me and Wes wrote it with our friend Ben who directed it and we have there's a ton of funny people all in the movie that make you know Robert Kelly, Joe Para, CM Punk, Phil Brooks is in this movie. He was fucking great. Just you know you're gonna love it. George McAuliffe. Yeah he was very funny. He was very funny in his role. We had a ton of very funny people popping in. You're gonna love it and it's just a fun dumb comedy please

check it out and anything else you guys want to plug anything you know no nothing fuck it just a movie watch that movie get to theaters get to theaters go see it date night and don't forget you do the popcorn trick you send us a the the hollowed out popcorn bucket or the hole in a popcorn bucket and a stub and you were entered to win a $40 gift card to Chili's maybe wrap it in the freezer ziplock bag So I don't have to touch a buttery or jizzy box Sure, maybe whatever that's up to you you know, whatever dealers choice, but

That's that's our promise to you entered the but the bus and to the let's start a cult popcorn bucket challenge this today in when possibly up to you know we're gonna change it in honor of the buffalo wild wings at the hotel that we stay we stay and we had dinner at once the cast

it will be fifty dollars to buffalo wildings if you do the but the butter popcorns At our movie Thanks guys, and we will see you next time bye bye. Thank you