Stavvy's World - Ali Macofsky

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

Ali Macofsky joins the pod to discuss going sober at a young age, going to a lame commuter school, how her dad spent the money she made on a childhood radio gig with Ryan Seacrest on patio furniture, and her tendencies to therapize those close to her as a a sober adult and child of divorce. Ali and Stav help callers including a guy who's giving a speech at the wedding of his friend and a woman he used to date, and a fat guy looking for fashion tips from Stavvy.Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification get an Airbnb There it is Hello everybody welcome to stop its world. I'm very happy to have my good friend Ali Mkowski here We're gonna fucking answer all your questions 904 800 stop if you want us to weigh in I can't wait to Ali's a fucking she has so much so much experience You know so much you've had a life of a anytime someone's that gets sober like before their 21 You know they were a fucking train wreck as a child. Yeah, I feel like if you get sober young,

you just start becoming a therapist. Like you rush the high of therapist and you're a whole life and analyzing everything. You went so hard as like, I don't know, 17 year old, I don't know why we haven't gotten really into it, maybe we'll get into it here, but yeah, she's fucking going to therapy, reading fucking self-help shit. We, Allie's gonna tell us everything.

She's gonna fucking fix all you motherfuckers. So make sure to get those fucking calls, and not for her, she's gonna be gone by the time you call in. I'm gonna be honest with you, but next time maybe somebody even smarter than Allie will be here, which, you know, no disrespect is pretty easy to get. Pretty easy, yeah. Yeah. I think you have a lot of emotional intelligence,

but I don't know about regular intelligence. Yeah, I'm not a good student, I'm guessing. No, I mean, I was a good student. I was a good student, but then it was like, is the classic like, stopped giving a talk about school and just trying to like entertain the class. Right, class clown. Smoking black and milds at lunch.

No. No. That was more Baltimore thing. No, I was doing the, did you like? Because you grew up in California, Long Beach, Snoop Dogg. Yeah, Camardias, Sublime. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

Now that's a holy trinity. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's all the hitters. Yeah, I'm sublime, hell yeah, now we're talking. I remember just fucking, Eldis, you're with me too, man. Just seventh grade.

Listen to them sing about weed, haven't seen it yet. Yeah. You're like, dude, one day I'm gonna see weed. I'm gonna smoke it. And I'm gonna smoke two joints, just like, sublime. Smoke two joints. I'm gonna be just like, Bradley. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they had that weird song about a girl getting like, the day of the song. Abused, yeah. Which was just like, on the radio. Yeah. She was like, her whole family is fucking her and like, it was horrible. And then she, yeah, but- It's like a fun Scott, little town.

Oh, it's like a sexual violence. Just like a lifetime of sexual violence. Yeah. And just like a band that's like, we're just having a good time, man. Just want me to try to make it in the right and about what they know. A salt weed and a salt. So yeah, you're in fucking long beach just like that. And along me, we're like before doing drugs or anything,

the big thing was like trying to like breathe in and out really fast and make yourself pass out. Well, it's like, whim-hoff, but for getting fucked up. You're like, extreme whim-hoff, yeah. Not for self-improvement, but for like doing drugs. I love whim-hoff, he rocks. Yeah. I love his accent when he's trying people to breathe in.

He's like, Fulian. Fulian. I haven't done it, but I respect that you guys were huffing shit. The OG of that, of course, is spinning around in a chair really fast. Yeah, you'd have to huff in and out a bunch of times, like really deep breaths, like so fast and then spin around. Right.

And then you like hold your chest or something really tight and then you just pass out. And do it during PE and I want to be like, guess I don't have to run today. It was tight and so forth. Respect. Yeah, I was a chair spinner. I don't know that I breathed in and out. I think to show you how cool I was even in college, I remember one time, like the first time I did Adderall,

it was to stay awake while I smoked weed and played GameCube with just bros and we would spin in chair like that We were already on drugs and then we still spun in chairs That's how far I was how far away I was from getting pussy my soft more year of college Yeah, we're just me and the fuck I joined this like fraternity that I was like oh, it'll be sick We'll get pussy. It was just like a bunch of loot like one guy got pussy in the fraternity that I was like, oh, it'll be sick. We'll get pussy. It was just like a bunch of loot. Like one guy got pussy in the fraternity. Yeah. And I was like, what? Now I just have like obligations to this group.

Yeah. Not even anyone knew. Didn't use any of his calls. Yes, it was like one guy with a college girlfriend, one guy who was like engaged in college. And then one actual like pussy getter. Yeah. And it was just like, you know, you got one.

Did you go to like a bad school? I went to the University of Maryland, Baltimoreather. Yeah. And it was just like, you know, you got one. Did you go to like a bad school? I went to the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Okay. So it's like a really bootleg. It's the shit, one of the shittier University of Maryland system. So you know the Terps, like the big school, college park. Elders actually went there. But he wasn't, he wasn't getting pussy either.

He was doing college radio at the time. Yeah, I didn't make a difference that party school i was at an excuse my i went to the parties in the parties were like twelve guys in the dorm room one girl who is like uh... like not even like not scared of a sublime situation it wasn't that it was just like m just so off put by how little masculine energy was in this.

Everyone's just ignoring the woman to play pong. We should start calling any sort of sexual misconduct to just a sublime seducination. Who did you get sublime? Oh no. Fuck, you know I'm so sorry. Yeah, I also went to a college like that where it was a big commuter college.

Yes, ours was a commuter school. Yeah, and so with to a college like that where it was like a big commuter college. So like, yes, ours was a commuter school. Yeah, and so with that comes not the most brilliant minds. No, no. People who have like 12 kids already and they're like, this is just the easiest option. We had a lot of like foreign, because it was a good academic school. Oh, that's right.

We had like a, we had one of those guys, the professor or the director of the school was like this, he was like a super brilliant guy, but it's like one of those guys, the professor or the director of the school was like this, he was like a super brilliant guy, but it's like one of those guys where you're like, you must never see your family. Cause he just transformed this horrible school into like a real powerhouse academically, but also he was a fucking nerd.

We got offered, cause we were so close to Baltimore, the Ravens were like, hey, we wanna practice facility, and we'll build you a stadium, we'll do everything, but you just need a football team. Wow. And he was like, no, cause he was like, hey, we want to practice facility. And we'll build you a stadium, we'll do everything, but you just need a football team. And he was like, no, because he was like, no, we were like the best chess school. Like that goes to show you what we're dealing with. Yeah.

So yeah, I was spinning around on Adderall, getting a guy in my fraternity, went to rehab for World of Warcraft. No. No. Okay. No. Okay, we're all laughing, but wouldn't you love to go to rehab for like social media? Yeah, that's true. I would love just a little break.

That would be nice. That is really funny though to picture him and other World of Warcraft heads. Other wild heads, just being like. Yeah, yeah, oh my god. How that room smelled. Yeah, so we're gonna control her. They want of that. They're just fidgeting.

They're getting some room costumes.. I gotta use my thumbs. Yeah So yeah that that's kind of but in high school early on yeah, our shit was like I don't know smoking weed behind the CVS That kind of thing. Yeah, but yeah, what was your so you were just spinning around in early on in Long Beach? Yeah, spinning around which is like a pretty good early sign of how you're gonna do drugs and alcohols. Right, the kids are spinning around if you're chasing a high in pee, you're most likely gonna get fucked up. Yeah, I mean, I was trying to be a stoner,

because you know, it's Long Beach. It's the cold wind in Rome. Yeah, so I like tried to be a stoner for so long and I had this friend. Try to Yeah, so I like tried to be a stoner for so long and I had this friend tried to be so funny. I tried to be like, how do you not? It just didn't work every time I spoke weed. I got way too high way too fucked up. I always thought that I was shitting myself. So you're ruining the vibe. You're harshing the vibe. Oh, absolutely. But there was this friend of mine, Seth. I think his name Seth, I haven't talked to him since high school.

But he had cancer in high school. Not in Hodgkin's lymphoma, so pretty chill, I think. It is when someone gets a really treatable one and really milks it, it's like, no, it's great though, because we're in high school, so he milked it by being able to smoke weed and be high at school. And then we'd go to his house after and he'd have like really good weed. You really locked out that a friend got cancer. Yeah. And yeah, every time I just I was like, I'm gonna die and set this like, no, I'm

going to die. I'm going to swear I'm dying right now and he's like, I've chemo tomorrow. Yeah, I have I have cells in my body trying to destroy me from the inside. Yeah, and I'm like, and I can't swallow this granola ball. I think Stewie just gave me a message to kill myself. I'm pretty sure Brian and Stewie are going to come out of the TV and murder me. He's also the cutest drug to try and like sober up from.

Because every time I was like, I'm way too high, people would be like, do you want some milk and cookies? It's like a very Christmas. It's like coffee, maybe, milk and, just to wake you up. And you know, a little snack in a nap. It's like, sobering up from weed is like,

how you treat a little baby having a fit. Yeah. It's like, let's get you a little, let's get you dessert. Yeah, okay. Let's get you dessert. we'll put on a cartoon and here's a warm blanket, which is the best. But then I was like, okay, we doesn't work,

so I went right into cocaine. Right, the code. Oh yeah. How old are we talking? Um, I would say, probably like 11th grade. Okay, Elliot Jr. Yeah, Jr. I was going to coax around. I probably would have done it sooner, but I had a boyfriend

at the time and we were both kind of very much like high school relationship, like never leave the house, hang out all the time. Right, right, right. Do nothing. So once we broke up, I like went straight in to make up for lost time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love the idea of someone worried about their PSATs and where they're gonna get cocaine at the same time Because there was definitely cocaine popped up. I didn't take the PSATs I'm sorry I didn't have a lot of stress Coke popped up in Baltimore. I would say my senior year

What was popular in high school because a lot of kids at my school were doing Xanax, which I've never done. I don't see, I think it's just, yeah, yeah. I think you were real advanced. I mean, Baltimore was just like, it was weed. Like, it was just like, we got, we smoked weed, we got fucked up, cocaine popped up in the, I was like, we also went to our public school.

So it's like, I think the private school kids, there was a school in Baltimore where it was like, I think the private school kids, there was a school in Baltimore where it was like, there was a prostitution ring. Like, middle schoolers were like, some middle schoolers like, pimping out girls to jack off their like, their classmates. No way. But that's, but those were the rich kids. They were so rich, they're doing pills, they're doing cocaine. We were just fucking literally smoking black and milds, like getting high off black and milds, cause you're like inhaling them. And then like smoking blunts and like friends

would sell cocaine, but it was more like, we didn't really do it. It was like, you know, and like, you know, maybe some psychedelics got in there. I remember, I'm 33. Okay, cause I remember in high school it was like the like like texting and like like you know the advancement of technology like I remember this kid got an iPhone in Seventh grade the first iPhone. He was the only one we knew and I got to sit next to him in English class and we

would cheat on test because he had Google on his phone. Wow, this is a likes to get some rocks. This is a generational difference for her. But then we had a sexting scandal. Oh wow. Everyone took turns on his phone. Meeting off. No people, there was a girl at our school who sent a guy a photo and then he sent it to everyone. And so we were in the news.

A minor sublime. Yeah. Not a full sublime. Just a mild sublime. Just a mild sublime. Wow, in the news a minor sublime. Yeah Not a full supply Wow in the news, yeah, you guys that's interesting. So what so your parents just cocaine slipped under the radar What was going on? I'm the third you're the fairer. You're the baby. Yeah, and I was a their divorce. Right? They're divorced Yeah, so I was raising myself cocaine cocaine was my dad.

Jamison was my mom. But yeah, I mean, I feel like I handled it pretty well. I'd be like, well, I'm hanging out with my friends. Or I'm like, going out and they were like cool with me going out to like party. Right, hilarious. They were parties. You told me your parents met. They were both long-shormin, is that right? No, they met at a 12-step convention in the desert.

They met at like, I think it was a cocaine anonymous convention. Oh wow, you had no chance. You were so far. No, several lives, yeah. Wait, but they were longshoremen, right? So yeah, but they... I remember thinking that was a hilarious detail. Yeah, no, they met at a 12- step convention in the desert and then fell in love.

Which by the way, you're not supposed to fuck at the 12. You have to go through it. No, you can fuck. I think you're not supposed to, isn't it? Yeah, depending on how sober, I mean, everyone has their own way of doing things. I see. If you're going back to like, if you're brand new, if you're fresh and sober,

then it's probably not the best idea to just start hooking up with crazy alcoholics and drugs. Isn't that what they call the 13th step? 13th step? Yeah. Someone fucks like a a a young impressionable person. Yeah, you're like, oh, I'll take you through this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they get 13th step? Or were they were they how were they in the process?

I think they were both fairly like, they had a few years maybe up with their belt. Nice. I don't know the love story that well. I've heard just bits and pieces. Oh, yeah, because they were how old were you when they got divorced? Like five. Ah, so you didn't grow up in the good times. No, no, I know my sister is I'm like, what is that like? They love to tell me these two people that I've only known to fucking fight and like, you know Blue is nice because they got divorced before like I only remember a few fights growing up,

but then when they got divorced, I was so stoked because I didn't know them as a happy couple. Right, right, right. So I only knew them as kind of a bitter one. There was nothing sad. Yeah, there was nothing sad. So once they were divorcing, I was like, this raw. That's great.

I'm happy for you guys. I was sad down with them. I was like, I'm really proud of you guys. It's a matured decision. If you guys wanna bang some lines to celebrate. Yeah. You take your teddy bear to bang some lines to celebrate? Yeah. But then... You take your teddy bear to just do cocaine with you?

You know, like you have your stuff fanable. I do my line and then I'm like, your turn. You had it, yeah, yeah, you had, instead of a tea party, you had cocaine parties. Like, so I'm starting fake cocaine. Oh, Barbie wants a line. Yeah. Um, and then they were, my dad was a traveling salesman,

which means he was a cheater. Yeah. First of all, in the fucking 80s, 90s, like. Oh yeah, that's not even a job. They need to have it like a more updated version of Mad Men. Like instead of ad sales, then it's like traveling salesman from like the 90s to early 2000s.

Right, right. I think you like your dad a lot because there's it's not even close to as glamorous. It's not madman. It's like you're not fucking like some as socialite. Yeah. You're getting your dick sucked in a trailer park in exchange for a vacuum. You know, like I'll throw in this attachment if you jack me off. She's like, all right hurry up my husband not back for a while. He just takes out her teeth to psych her dad's dick. That's not exactly fucking John Ham in a three-piece suit. That's how it would be good. It's the working man's matter. It's your dad slipping his cock through some fucking khakis with

state with Docker stain defender. And getting his day sucked. Hilarious. Traveling salesman is such a, that's like being working at a blockbuster now. Like that wasn't even really a job even in the 90s. That's insane. Yeah, he was selling like washing parts. Wash, like. Yeah, like Napa Auto Parts, I think. So interesting.

Yeah, I don't know. Just a job that like, how did it hang on even one day after the internet was invented? Oh yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Amazon is the traveling salesman now. Damn, what's he up to these days? He's still longshoreman.

So he was a traveling salesman. My mom was working at Lindoro, which is like a weight loss clinic. Hell yeah, just two fake jobs. Two of the most 90s fake jobs. Like Jenny, Lindoro's like Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers type of shit, and your dad was a traveling salesman.

Very 90s existence. Yeah. Those jobs all went away. And then my mom, a lot of people in my mom's family, they're from my mom's families from like San Pedro area in LA, which has a big Greek community. Okay. Maybe I'll pop in. Big Greek, big Italian community.

And a lot of her families like Longshoremen, so she decided to get into that. Nice. And then she got my dad into that. So she got him the gig. Interesting. All right, nice. Yes, they were both Longshoreman and they still work together. Really?

Yeah, my dad only group text me and my sisters and be like, I'm working with your mom, rolling, I emoji. And then my mom will text me and my sisters and be like, just saw your dad. Hi, I'm so dad. I was sad. That's fucking hilarious. That is some like true sitcom shit. Like if it's fake, like if you wrote a script about, yeah, my parents are long-shermer,

my divorce parents are long-shermer that work together, they'd be like, this is a little far-fetched, yeah. Old too much, yeah. Yeah, interesting. So you're just like a, so you're growing up in the chaos. So that's why you can just do whatever the front you want. Yeah. Yeah. Your sister's how much older than you? Seven and five years older than me. Oh, so you got you had quite a little little gap,

little gap there, especially the older one. The older one probably got the best childhood, right? Probably. Yeah. But maybe I would also debate maybe the worst because she got to see what it was like. And then be like, well, what the fuck happened? Whereas me, it's always just been what the fuck. You've no, yeah, you've existed in reality. That's what is normal to me. Right, right, right.

But to her, she had like two different realities. So how, okay, let's test your hypothesis. What's her life look like now? Really good, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I think about it. Maybe she didn't get to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah good actually. Yeah, not really think about it. Maybe she didn't get to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is interesting though to see the different like, uh, like attachment styles. Right, there we go. Therapy. Oh, Miss Therapy. The different attachment styles, because she's very codependent. Like with our parents, like she's very much the one that we all turn to. She's the parental figure. She keeps things in order. And then I'm very much like, you tell me where to go.

I'll be there. Yeah, I definitely have had to, I definitely had to deal with that. Oh, did you got to be the baby, right? You're sister did everything? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My sister like, I don't know, I just remember like being a kid. We would go everywhere because we're like, you know,

I'll be in my parents. It's parents didn't even really speak English. Yeah, they spoke it, but you know, it was rough. And like, my sister would be like 11 years old and have to like go up to people in the store. Like, I remember one time I was like seven or something. We were lost in the fucking mountains in West Virginia. Just on the family trip at Maryland goes in.

She's like 12 years old. And she like, they're like like go ask how we get back She's like okay, I can fucking 12. The 12 year old does know like driving direction She came back and she's like they're like okay, what they say she's like oh I think you said that And they're like well you don't even know Why don't you go with me motherfuckers? I could have have fucking, yeah, I definitely, I had that, you get to be the fucking bit. You've had women make decisions for you your whole life. Oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to be the, because I'm the first board, so I had to, and my parents are foreign. Not as foreign as, my mom is probably the least foreign. Of our four parents, my mom is probably the one who speaks the most English and can get around, but I still had to do a nice amount of like translating and like I would proofread documents like legal documents. Yeah, you're like doing their taxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I wrote like my mom would write a lot of letters and I would have to like

she'd complain about whatever the fuck, you know, she's a she's a big they tried to get like a strip club put in our neighborhood like literally a block away And my mom had like a big like no kind of you know campaign You know when like a bunch of immigrants in Baltimore. Oh, I mean I grew up in it's just it's a just a Greek neighbor It's called okay Um, but yeah, the hell is the Albanian community up to over there. I remember like I think there are a lot of Albanians and Sx Yeah, there's some Albanians. Do you think there's like brochures and Albania

being like Baltimore, the city of dreams. And there ones like, we gotta get out there. Baltimore is one of the few, Albania, Baltimore's one of the few cities that if you come from Albania, it's a just pure step up. It's not even a question. I mean, I'm like, like Greece is just a little better, don't get me wrong.

Like, my family's from Athens, and I go there, but I go back there and I'm like, oh, it's Athens, Greece, major city. And it's like, these motherfuckers don't have dryers. They literally have clothes pins on their shit. There's no real, like the mattress technology there is hysterical. Everyone sleeps on like, when you went to camp as a kid,

that's what everyone's mattress looks like. They're thin as fuck. There's just mattress looks like, their thinnest block. There's just so much like shit you take completely for granted. But then like being from here my whole life and not knowing anything different, I'm like, oh, that's so romantic. Yeah, that's a dreamy. It's romantic until you have fucking lower back pain

and you're sweating through every night because of the fucking fan. They've been using, my grandfather had a fan without the guard. Like, yeah, they had an invented the guard when he bought his fan and I was like, what the fuck is this? That's trash.

Literally. He would be like Nick his finger on it. It's like just getting you fan. It's like metal and sharp. No joke, it was literally metal. It wasn't even like a plastic one. Yeah. So yeah, we're dealing with that kind of shit.

But yeah, I do think, yeah, who knows? With your sister going back to the original point, it's like, she probably, she got to see it, but at least like it implanted some healthy shit in her brain, whereas you got like, you know, fucking people just shitting on each other. Nobody living in the same house. Like it must be, we're talking about it a little earlier.

It's like we all, like my shit with my family, it's like I, what you think is a good relationship because you're a little kid is just so fucked up. Cause no one I knew had a good marriage. There was no Greek people I knew that were happy. Someone was cheating, someone was like, you know, just like stealing money. You know what I mean?

We had no good parental role models. Even if they were good people and like good parents, they weren't good related. They didn't have good relationships. So you might be fucked is what I'm saying. Yeah, but I'm working on it. You're working on it, nice, hell yeah. Have a lot of breakthroughs and therapy.

A lot of breakthroughs and therapy, nice. I want to talk about therapy, but how did you, I do want to hear about like, how buck wild they got when you decided to get sober, so young. Because I met you, you were already sober. You're like 21, right? Yeah.

20, how old are you? 21, maybe 20. I remember. How old do you know? 27. Okay, yeah. Because I met you pretty early on when I was in New York, you were just coming to do like shows and stuff. Yeah, and

Yeah, because I remember being like going to a book because that's like, you know when you first moved to New York It's like you would do like one good show every three weeks And you would just like most of it is hanging out. Yeah, so you meet people. It's mostly at a bar Pretty much everyone's like getting fucked up because it's like you have to come back to your shitty apartment where you have a- Well, and when you're like new to a city and like newer to comedy, you're like, this is the last. This is it, baby.

Me and the boys just drink it some brusquies and fucked up. Like, yeah, fucked up, going with diners. Yeah, we're gonna say some crazy shit to be hilarious for rockstar. Just being hacks, just being like, just like things you saw on a shitty TV show about comedy trying to like live that way Like this like opian Anthony right now dude this table is basically the sellers back table on Patrice You're Gary Goldman. It's like we're like

Yeah, you be Bill Burr. Yeah, it's literally is. You're like 20, you know, from 19 to like 25, there's a little bit of that, and then you're like, this is fucking pathetic. Yeah, but you can still, I was with my friend, like last night I was with my friends at the stand, and we were like sitting at the table, eating and talking, and in my head, and the back of my head, I'm like, this is like the shows.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it gets to the point where you're like, eating and talking and in my head and the back of my head I'm like this is like the shows. Well it gets to the point where you're like it is but who cares? Yeah, this is just my life now. I'm not trying to be in the show. I'm just trying my stupid. I just want to get home my spots are like too. Why did they why couldn't could I've gone last on the first show and first on the other one I hate being you know like you're having those thoughts for your like off the train. Yeah, but early on It's like you would go to a club with no spot just to hang out just to do that So I met you then and I was like oh she you know everyone's getting fucked up And you were like young and not drinking and I was like that's and that's when I was like Oh, she must have been a fucking Luna ticket like 17 or something like that

Yeah, because Bobby Kelly is the same way where he got sober like when I was like, oh, she must have been a fucking lunatic at like 17 or something like that. Yeah. Because Bobby Kelly is the same way where he got sober like when he was like 18. Yeah. And he was like drinking, you know, he's like a 12 year old kid, just get drinking moonshine in a park. Or whatever the fuck, you know what I mean? Like getting fucking stabbed. I remember like going to Juvie.

And high school doing like coconut stuff with my friends friends like we were doing it so much to the point We're like we could eat full meals well Gacked out on coke like we would go to this one time just be like pounding burritos Shobbling them in our face and like before we went into the restaurant. We were like doing lines in the car And then who was your coke like who sells coke to children? I don't know that was the one thing that I'm very glad about is that I never figured out who sold it. I just like when I would party. It was a run. I would buy it for my friends. Got you. But I would know I didn't know who to reach out to. That's good. That's a

tough one. Very responsible. Very responsible. Yeah you towed the line. Yeah and then yeah and then I just started drinking a shit tunnel and I went to college. Nice. Hell yeah. And then I like crashed my car in the blackout. Are you shaking your school? Yeah, my terrible. Because that was the thing.

It was like the parties there. They weren't like cool parties. It was like house parties. It was in North County, San Diego. So it's like away from like the fun downtown San Diego area. It's literally like house parties. There's like Ranchero guys out there. It's like these Hispanic dudes in the cowboy hats. Like that's about there's literally like house parties. There's like Ram Charo guys out there. It's like these

Hispanic dudes in the cowboy hats like that's the vibe. There's people with like horses. Fuck yeah. So it's just like dirt roads. So it's like West Coast form. Yeah. Yeah really weird vibes. So everyone's just like there's no one cool at this school. Right. Right. It's like literally like the losers from high school who went to this school. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. And now I think that they're cool. Why did you go there? It was the only one I got into. And then money saved up for college so I'm like I have to go. Yeah, yeah. Oh right, because you had some weird, you were like a weird child radio star or something, right? Yeah, I was on Kis F M with Ryan C. Cress. The Z 100 of the West Coast to Setham. And yeah, I had a job at the age of seven

and I shouldn't be saying for a while. Two years after the divorce. And you know what the best part is? What's that? My dad stole money from me. For outdoor patio furniture. This loser man still from a seven year old daughter to get a better smoking cigar lounge in the backyard. A better setup. Yeah so once all my funds were up through

from the outdoor furniture I had a little bit left over for college. Have you confronted him about? Yeah I don't know. Yeah I don't know. I just laughs it off. Yeah. I've seen you post your dad on social media. He does seem like a good hang. He's a good hang. It seems like a fucking good hang. But that's like the problem. It's like he's always been a good hang.

Dad, not so, you know? That's how I feel too, where it's like, I think about my dad and it's like, I think I would be friends with him because he is really fun. Like we have, like my, my, me and my brothers are all pretty funny and I love my mom.

She's one of the best people She's not very funny, right? Like she's it's interesting to watch her After having three sons who are we're all dickheads and funny in a separate way. Yeah, and it's interesting because like She has figure she's kind of become funnier the older she gets because it's just like me and my brothers non-stop like trolling her and like you know whatever But my dad has always been kind of funny and my brother's nonstop, like trolling her and like, you know, whatever. But my dad has always been kind of funny. And again, same thing, it's like, he's a pretty good hang. Like, you know, him and his boys are all laughing.

He's not, you know, he's missing soccer games. He's hanging out, you know what I mean? Like, he's like, oh fuck, I forgot about this. And it's like, you know, like at my, like a wedding or something, he'll get really fucked up. He's like, he wasn't a big drinker, but when he did, he would be would be fun like I remember the first He was so strict about letting me drive

when I was like 15 and I and then we go to like a baptism or something and he just gets so fucked up And he's got this giant like work truck Because he's a carpenter and he's like good news buddy Time to drive It's like 1 a.m. I haven't driven a, I've like, he's let me drive in a parking lot. And it's not that far away, but it's still like, you're so fucked up, I have my learners put it.

I'm 15 years old. The same thing happened to my sister. Really? Yeah, my dad was at my cousin's bar mitzvah. It was baseball themed bar mitzvah. And my dad makes a speech and he's sloshed. And I haven't seen my dad get drunk that often, but this is like a standout moment for me.

My dad's making the speech, it's on video somewhere and he's like, one am a beer, your baseball coach, you're going to the big league, Jackie Robinson, you. And then we're leaving and my dad is driving. He doesn't even have the wear with hall to be like, maybe the old sister with the lermus print. Right.

How much you do? He's like, I got this. Yeah, the whole fam's in the car. Oh, the whole fam, me, my sister's my dad. We're in the car. We're just sitting in the back like this. And my dad gets pulled over. Oh my god.

He gets pulled over and he goes, has her learners from it. She'll drive some of my sister. What the cock does get away with that? Yes. It's terrible. These crooked cops. These fucking defund. Why privilege has gone too far. It's true because then when I crashed my car in a blackout highway patrol came because my car was total that like wouldn't drive off the freeway Trust me I tried You wake up you're like I just got to get it going I like I don't even remember driving at all I think I'm out of fall in the sleep like I might have to sleep be drunk I'm just passed out because I didn't hit anyone until like three in the morning

I must have been driving so slow, but I hit the center divider and I like wake up. All of a sudden I'm like, I'm alert, I'm focused, and I'm trying to move my cards, not working, and I had just bought a brand new car. Just bought a brand new car. Well, that's Eucharist money. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's tribut of brand new car. I mean, it wasn't, it was like a Honda fit. Sure, you know, a humble mod. Of course, well, a lot of that money was gone on, fucking umbrellas, and fucking recliners. Hell man, a few options to just try. And the car did that. He'd that had one of those like, fucking outdoor,

heater, heat lamps. So he could smoke cigars in the winter time. I don't drive a convertible. I'm like, a mountain on the way. I know this is good, no, this is good. And so I'm like, it has the alarm activated thing. Like when you total your car, it like sends out the message. So now highway patrols on their way.

And you just fucked up. Yeah. And you were how old, like 20? Um, 19. 19. 19. And a lot of getting fucked up at the Ranchero house. You just coming off a farm.

This was after an open mic, which is so embarrassing. Oh my God. It was like celebrating an open mic. It was my friends birthday. It was my friends birthday. So after the open mic went to the bar, I did a few drinks. I was like buying people at the bar, shots.

People I didn't know, just strangers, just trying to be loved. Being being cool and then yeah, I drove Highway patrol comes and I was like I'm just I start crying. I'm so tired I've been a comedian for like a year Such open-micro behavior to let even the cop I would never do that now of course not But at the time I was like oh yeah when a comedian. Oh yeah, when you start, you're like, I've done three open mics. I'm a comedian.

And the fact that you would bring it up to a cop potentially about to give you a DUI to make you sympathetic or impress him just shows you what open-microbrain you had. Like that, you didn't have the wherewithal, not to drive drunk, right? But your brain was like, I should mention I'm a comedian. It wasn't like, let me sleep on a couch.

It was like, let me, let me let him know. Well, I did try and sleep on a couch. I went back to the open mic, because there was this open mic in LA, where the guy who ran the open mic lived at the space. Oh my God. It was a sad vibe. It got five.

That sucks. And so I knock on the door, it's like three in the morning, he opens it and I was like, can I crash here? And he's like, oh, it's three in the morning. You can't be here. Yeah. And so I like, I I crash here? And he's like, oh, it's 3 in the morning. You can't be here. Yeah. And so I like, I think I was gonna sleep in my car, but then just turn the car on.

Almost there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pull me an hour away when I'm stuck. Well, listen, going back to the guy who lives in an open mic blackout at 3 a.m. You also avoided another possible sublime. That's a real sublime. I got it. My sublime stopped because he was with a woman in there. That's a real sublime. I got it.

My sublime stopped because he was with a woman in there. That's why I couldn't say. Otherwise, it could have been me. It could have been me. It's true. Yeah, that's true. But yeah, the highway patrol came and I was like, I'm just so tired of him out every night.

Just, you know, bring your joy to people. Change your lives. Change your lives. With my pussy jokes, save. Tell me about how fucked up my pussy is. How it leaks. And they put me in the car. They're like, you can wait here.

We'll call your sisters. They'll pick you up. So just like sit in the car and chill. And I'm sitting in the back seat. God damn. And I just talked to my friend Kevin, who's one of those like comedian slash lawyers. There's a few of them. There's a few of them.

There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them.

There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them.

There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. There's a few of them. on site like you can always fight that. So this is just like, you luckily you had this conversation. Yeah. So then I get real Karen vibes. And I'm like, you got a test man. Yeah, you flipping me really. Oh, yeah.

I'm like, you got a test man. And they were like, no, we don't. We don't. Like we're fine. We can't even bring it up. No. No. And my sisters finally came to pick me up.

And they were like, you reek of alcohol. Yeah, yeah, yeah, damn. Yeah, good for you. Yeah, pulled it off. Pulled it off. Yeah, and that is that when you got sober? No. No. It took two more Honda Fits. Yeah. One more. What? Did you tell it on the other car? Well, that was my second car I told it. Oh, yeah.

I just bought a brand new Honda fit and then four days after I bought it, I had totaled it trying to get some dick at a hostel. I made an illegal you trying to get a really good parking spot. Yeah, there was some Australian guys. Nice, was he in there? Probably not. No, you were drunk and shit also? No, there he goes, over. Yeah, but drunk on some dick. Yeah, yeah, just one to have. Yeah, come Come on come over. I'll give you some pain ace and you're like right away sir In a hostel to like a boost three guy three Lithuanians on bunk beds just watching you get your shit like Smacked by some Australians No, no thank God I've never, one time I actually-

I've put towels over the bunk beds. That's just terrible. It's like a little, uh- So you're seasoned, you're- You fucked it a lot of hospitals! I've been to that hospital before. That hospital! Oh, Ali's back guys.

Oh, hey Ali, who are you fucking this? What nationalities at this time? You have a little punch card, you have to get different, different flag, Morocco, Australia. The passport. The dick passport. Now that's interesting. I think a passport is a dick passport.

I think it's true. If you're like traveling in your single, every time you don't travel just to see things That's true some people do some people do Yeah, especially depending on the culture, you know, they are gonna try and fuck you at much less I was in I was in London and I was staying at this hostel and it was like six six six Person rooms so it's three bunk beds and I get in I check in and it's empty Wow, I like it like this kind of thing. Yeah, it's three bunk beds and I get in and I check in and it's empty.

And I'm like, oh, I get like this kind of thing. Yeah, it's like only me. And so I like, I settle down, I take a nap and I, and I hear some noise. I wake up from my slumber and it's five Australian guys. Just jacks little like holy shit. Like the rugby team. Yes. Yeah, and then I was like Spooked to judge in the morning You know you guys ever hear to sublime But Ely you're sucking all them off. No No, we're seeing all girl friends. I don't care. I didn't come all the way to Long Beach not to get stuffed up I'm trying to get airtight

Two in each one in the mouth Let's get this going A girl only sees London every so often No No, I'm not made by it. No, that's London Belend, but I don't know how you say Dakin' Australia, and I'm sorry, folks. I really butchered that riff, but we had fun until that point. I'm like, did you see Big Bad? And I'm like, oh, it's something bad.

How many of these guys did you fuck? I think just one. Just one. It's whole blurry. Sure, sure, sure. I've never, one time, me and my buddy stayed at a, I just told this story on the soda episodes so I won't tell the whole thing. But the close I've come to a hostile situation

is one time my friend was fucking a girl. He didn't even really want to fuck. And I was just watching, on an iPad, I was watching the Grand Budapest Hotel. So that's the gloves I've gotten. But I don't, I get to, I don't want other people around. Yeah. I would be too nervous.

I don't think I've even fucked with anyone else in the room, like even like on some college shit. I mean now at this point, now that I'm sober, even like living in an apartment, I'm like, oh my neighbor, like I'm here. I'm just playing the quiet game during sex. I mean in this apartment, I'm like, oh my neighbor. Like, I'm here. I'm just playing the quiet game during sex. I mean, in this apartment, because it used to be, now it's just me, we've turned this,

this was eldest's old room, actually. We've turned to the master, into the studio. We, at one point, we had five people in this three-bedroom, and it was like, everyone knew the tempo, everyone else fucked that. That's so funny. It was like, I've heard every one of my closest friends bust. Yeah.

Except maybe, let's bleep his name out, but I don't think I've heard, I don't think I heard our boy bust, but yeah, definitely I know eldest is lazy stroke. I can, I can, with my eyes close, I can be like, yep, that's eldest. Yeah. That's it. I used to live in this house and I had this roommate.

And he was like, he was like a screenwriter. That's what he said. I don't know if he was, but. Of course. Everyone who buys Final Cut is a street, or a final draft is a screenwriter. And he would like show me his scripts and he would refer to all the women in the script as broads.

And hell yeah. And we shared a wall. And at one point, I didn't know where his bed was in his room, but it turned out our beds were touching on the wall, and so on, he would have a girl over. I could just hear it. And I could hear that she was faking and organically. So I'm like, no one's having that good of a time.

It was out from that guy. It was out from that guy. And he was like, it's not guttural. It's not a little fucked up in disgusting. Yeah, it was like watching a porn. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy.

It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy.

It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy. It was not from that guy knows how to make someone bust. Yeah. The people that know how to make someone bust, they're watching Chopped when they have sex. Chopped stays on when we fuck. I gotta see who fucking won.

I gotta see if the fucking Buffalo egg rolls took it home. Oh, it's Chopped Kids. I definitely have. Started watching Chopped. I'm been like, we can't watch Chopped Kids. The Chopped Kids has come on. That was my go, I just love Chopped. Yeah. There was definitely a couple of years of,

maybe a year in my life where I fucked a lot to Chop. Yeah. Who was the host on that? Fucking Ted, what's his name? Ted, he was on the original queer eye. He was the food guy on the original queer eye. Forget his last name. He's great.

But Chop's a fucking what a program. Do you guys watch random, because all masterbid, because I'll all masturbate, but I'm like very, I can't focus on one thing at a time. So I'll be like, I'll be on TikTok or something. And then I'll be like, While beating off? No, well yes.

Okay. But I'll just be on TikTok at night, you know, before bed. And then I'm like, Oh, you know, I should masturbate. Right. But TikTok is so good. I know. So then I'm like, oh, I should masturbate. But TikTok is so good. I know you. So then I'm watching and my boyfriend's like,

that's the craziest thing. So you're watching TikTok and beating off? Yeah, TikTok and my left hand. Yeah, I'm just scrolling. But it's like, just some guys building a pool in his yard, a girl's dancing. So what part of your brain is, what are you beating off to?

Are you just doing a purely mechanically? Purely mechanically, yeah. That's wild, bro. It's like beating off of the TV, honestly. But isn't that like having too much background? Because I'm not totally carrying it to my hand. But you're holding it in your hand. But if you're watching porn, aren't you holding it

in your hand? Yeah, but you're holding, you're actively holding the thing. What I'm saying is the holding makes it not a passive thing. That, once you're holding it's active. If your phone was here and TikTok's kind of doing, but you're scrolling and beating, I don't know, I don't know. Only for the beginning part. Okay, okay.

One thing struck getting more exciting. I gotta be. Okay, it's brilliant. Okay, all right, all right, I'll give you that. It's the holding that for me personally. I think that's the Rubicon that it's like, once you cross that, it's a little strange. Now, for me, and I'm not on, I'm trying to get on,

I totally have taken TikTok off my phone, but Instagram tricks you and they have bootleg TikTok on Instagram. So my whole algorithm is, half of it is things I would be off to. Is your Instagram rules? Is that a lot of women just doing this? Just bouncing?

Yeah, it's like a POV style video. I don't get the basically soft core form, but I get a lot of workout stuff because I have started lifting a little bit and so I'll watch them. It started with me watching like some would pop up And I would be like, oh, that's interesting and then it'll be like a girl would do it But you know, and then it's just like it's just turned into like the hottest jacked women Yeah, and now I'm like I could easily beat off to this stuff Yeah, and so a lot of it will start with it's almost like the appetizer for beating off

I'm like that would be sick to fuck her. And then I'm like, let's fucking giant thighs on one X videos. You know what I mean? A woman wrestles man. You know what I mean? Like, Jack the woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fitness model, you know? So in that case, I can see it,

but I've never just been looking at like, you know, I've never had a string of like, oh, here's a puppy, oh, here here's a delicious sandwich and I'm beating off Yeah, I mean I'll give it a whirl Pavlov's dog now I just start beating off when it's like a weight loss journey thing or like a fucking just a Dance video. I don't even fucking know my shit has is, is pretty varied, but it's zoomed in on. My algorithm has basically become Jack Hot Ladies.

There is like some like, like, like weird little protein powder desserts, because I'm always trying to like, I'm always trying to like sneak a dessert in. We like to have meathead ice cream around here, which is like Greek yogurt protein powder and a little fucking, you know, some toppings here and there. And then it's like also I think it has got, it's realized that I'm started like everyone

in my family, a lot of my closest friends, some are married, some are having kids, like I'm starting to think about like damn I'm fucking 33, like maybe I should like have it. So some of it is like, some of it is like hot women, but not overly sexual, just almost like, like if your really hot wife was modest, I get a lot of those women, and then I get big titties and curly hair, but they're not dressed, they're not trying to, it's like a nice lady you would wanna go on a date with,

who happens to be wildly hot. And then also I'll get women, or like baby videos, cause like don't you want a family? And it's like, that's what it is. It's like the horny shit. It's like, oh, you love to fuck this like jacked woman. And then it's like,

but when you like to go on a date with this woman, and then with her, wouldn't you like to make a sweet child to raise? And then it's like burgers. It's like, it's like my whole, it's like become a fat dad. You become an obese father. And I'm like, sounds pretty nice, fat dad. Yeah, I'm gonna be father and I'm like Sounds pretty nice, you know, yeah

I'm a lot of baby stuff online a lot of baby stuff. Yeah, my sister just had a baby So now I'm like looking at baby stuff on But it's hard because now I'm like I'm taking in all this information about babies and I want to Tell my sister, but I don't have I can't just be like so I saw this thing on tell my sister, but I don't have, I can't just be like, so it's all this thing on TikTok. Right, right, right, right. And you should actually be doing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just like shut the fuck up.

Yeah. I call my friend one of our best. She also lived here. We originally moved in here, me, eldest and our friend. And she just had a kid. And like I will never tell her with every time I call her, it's like, hey, what's up? And she's like, Hey, what's up?

And she's like, yeah! Just this little asshole scream. And it's like, you really see it because it's like, this is, he's a parasite. He like sucks all her life. He's literally taking the nutrients from her and like needs her attention at all times. And I'm like, whatever you need to make this fuck her.

So like, I just go visit her. She's in Baltimore. I would go visit her. And it's like,. So like, I just go visit her. She's in Baltimore and I would go visit her. And it's like, I see like, I just see how worn down. She's just like, can somebody hold him for 12 minutes? Yes, brutal. And I'm like, damn, she puts him in like the little carrier. She's like constantly, this kid in her, he just always needs her attention.

So I'm just like, yeah, I'm not giving her TikTok all the suggestions. Yeah, there's something where what did I see? Oh, I forget. That's okay. But you don't want you're not even you're not thinking about having kids. Oh, I remember. I was thinking about it, but then I watched my sister give birth and I like the physical watch the baby come out. Yeah, I saw it all and part of it was like oh I would never that's so crazy yeah I can't like that's so insane yeah it really is like the fact that people aren't talking about how wild that is it's in a person

it's the most fucked up thing I've ever seen like there was no part of me that's like oh, this is beautiful. I was like this is torture. Yeah, yeah, yeah Absolutely, it looks to it seems I haven't seen it. I have you know, whatever, but it seems torturous Oh my god brutal, but then it's like it's that thing you see as soon as the baby's out You're just like so happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're I think you're probably I don't know if you're so happy to see your baby If you're if you're just so happy to not have to. The pain is over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I saw this thing about how people like, people who are like shitty moms or parents but have a ton of babies,

it's because they just like the newborn phase when they're like not being annoying, they're just sleeping and like being cute, and you can just hold them and like take a photo. They're a little dull, they're a little dull basically. Yeah, so it's like people just get addicted to like the newborn phase. Which kind of seems like the shittiest part. It seems fun, but it seems like adorable, but it's also like, don't you want this fucking little thing to do something silly.

Do some silly talk a little bit. Yeah, make a weird face here. And eventually, like the part where I'm like, it would be cool to have kids is thinking about showing like a 14 year old John Wick for the first time we're just like showing you know what I mean like sharing all your interests and like having a friend that's Who's like you've known his whole or their whole life whatever that seems kind of cool But and the new and the baby face out of school, but like, that toddler, four through like, you know, 17 even seems fucking horrible. Yeah.

Well, fuck Bobby's calling. Wow, we're gonna see on the show, if he can do the show we record later today. Hi, Bob, you're actually technically on the show right now because we're recording, but. I was like, I was like, I was talking to Bobby's top. you're actually technically on the show right now because we're recording but no slurs please Robert not only would it cancel me it would cancel everybody every comic that I even know

well keep it keep it nice and clean I'm very I'm very happy you did the code and I hate people who don't do the code You know what I mean? Like you call them in the car and they're like hey, what's up? Right you want some high rate about you know some nasty vagina massage poly you yeah my grandmother and my wife well code is families in the car got my wife in the car of course you got it you got to know

i just got a big fight with my friend about that well i didn't want this you know what's talking about they already know it's garbage of course of course you got to fucking keep it clean one hundred percent yeah no children no women and when you pick up the phone you let them know who's in the car of course that i'm so we will we do have alimakowski she passes those she's a comic she's not a regular woman that you can't talk around

and the cool girl that is not say you said that i don't know what that means so they're very nice bob now you're gonna fucking go you you open this up talking about the slurs you were gonna say and i do a cute little misogynistic joke that we're all in on and you fucking abandon me hey man that's right that's corporate market all right motherfucker can you do the show later or not no i can't well we'll get... all right

well we'll get all right that's okay we'll get you in January i mean i'm i mean i literally added a lot of the show as it you did that's really you have the comedy no no

no tell said uh... dude i don't know that's not the kind of show we're doing robber thank you very much okay alright now look i've had enough of you stealing a woman's time it's time for you to go i'm sorry what's your name again howie ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What a fucking lunatic. Just starts doing bits on a call. He's the man.

Anyway, fuck Bobby. What are we talking about? That's like the equivalent of Rogan playing like a video of a deer being eaten. Now let's take a call from Bobby. Yeah, let's have Bobby go into a high energy observation. It is funny, he's so good at comedy. You can feel his energy over the phone. Like Bobby would have fucking,

you could play him on a fucking microphone in a club and he would probably kill. It was hilarious opening for him and being like, I don't even do comedy. He would just go on and just like, he's fat as shit, just like swaggering though somehow, just like control the like energy fully. Anyway, fuck him, he's not doing the show,

he can suck my dick, he's dead to me. What were he's talking about before Robert so rudely interrupted us? Is anyone know? Pussybers. Oh, babies. Oh, babies flopping out of pussy, he's like shit like that.

Yeah, it seems fucked up. Michelle Wolf has that great joke where she's like, I think it's incredible, but like, I'll never have a kid. Where she's like, it is really impressive, but it's like, which is like, it's like being a bird and being like, you know what, I'm just gonna walk everywhere. Yeah. Because it is like insane that a fucking, that life, you could just not in someone and a baby comes out.

I was thinking to self-ash, I'm like, oh, the only, I just wanna see what I would look like. You baby form. I wanna see baby out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what if it looks like the, you know, the guy, that's brutal. Then kill it.

So you, pay the Anthony. So you're not even thinking about adoption. You're like, no, I would love to adopt. Okay. Yeah. But I also want to have a kid, I think. I just want to be rich enough to not have to like fully raise it on my own.

So fucking true. Because then if the kids like, mom, you're shitty, I'm like, I wasn't even there. I wasn't there. Take it up with your, your nanny from Barbados. I don't care that you got tired of eating curry goat. Maybe has a Barbados accent. Mother. Hey, Mada.

What going on? A lot of these fucking kids in parks. You think Tom Banks had like a... That's probably what it was. That's why Chad is like that. I mean, a lot of these, like I was in Park's lobe, you know, South Brooklyn where it's like it's richest fucking a lot of fucking you know people have nannies and shit like I was I was I was there was working there one

day and I had like a two-hour break so I was like walking through the park. Every stroller is just like some little fucking white kid and like an elderly Caribbean woman. Yeah. Like who knows how much time they've been spending with their fucking parents. So I don't know. I asked my mom because she wants green. Thankfully, I think my brother is going to have kids eventually, but I was like, all right, like I could get you

a kid, but can you, would you raise it? Yeah. Because you was like, no. She was like, I'd help. And what's the point? And I was like, well then buzz off. Yeah. I don't want to fucking raise my own son or daughter.

I want to pop in. So I'm clearly not ready for that shit, but you know whatever. Um, all right. Well, look, I think we've gotten a nice little background. Yeah. There's more. We could we could gab for hours. We could.

But I think we have enough. Get one of those diet doctor peppers, I mean, it was just kind of. Oh, fuck, we could get you one. Um, that would be, it would feel nice to send L. D. S out on a drink errand So you say the word and we'll fucking send them, but why don't we fucking start taking some calls? Yeah, I love it. Get some of this advice going All right, here we go first call and by the way guys 904 800 stov if you want some fucking wisdom from a future guest Maybe who knows maybe you'll catch Ali will have such a backlog that you'll catch Ali on her second appearance And by the way, guys, 904 800, Stav, if you want some fucking wisdom from a future guest,

maybe who knows, maybe you'll catch Ali, we'll have such a backlog that you'll catch Ali on her second appearance. It's not likely, but maybe. Call in 904 800, Stav, let us hear your questions. Hit us with the first one, Eldis. Yeah. No, motherfucker.

I'm 22. This is what happens when you're having a raise. Played Motherfucker. I'm 22. This is what happens when you're here. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be.

I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be.

I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. I'll probably be. and you know, I've never thought any like super hard drugs or anything. Don't worry, just like we had a massive injury and feel like that LAMT here and there. I'm just like, weed. I'm not a fucking hell.

I'm doing like, I'm done. You're one of the good ones. That's the last one. Uh, I don't know. Yeah. That uh, eventually I'm gonna sure if it's a drug dealer scale. Eventually, I'm going to get caught. And there's no signs pointing towards that. But I feel like I've been doing it for like eight years,

like seven stars, like mostly consistently, but it's kind of on and off. And no signs towards me, I don't even bear in happening, but I feel like one day, maybe somebody gets caught with happening, but I feel like, you know, one day, maybe somebody gets caught with something, the cops are like, where did you get this? And then they like ram you out of the country. Or whatever. You know, should happen.

So, yeah, should I ask the phone, John? That's the question. If you have free NLA and you need to fly her as we got you. Oh yeah, in LA, I'm gonna call some fucking guy with an accent. I can't even place. Where the fuck is he from? He's probably on the move to LA, like halfway in this adolescence. Because I know friends might have moved from Greece at like 11 and they have like half an

accent. And that's what this guy has. Cause certain words. So he says he's been selling we since he was 14 Nothing hard just like DMD It's chill it's chill just shit. I had to break into a lab to get But don't you know that getting into selling drugs that there's a chance you could get caught? I know this is like one of the most this goes to show you that he does not have any kind

of reasoning. It's like, of course you're going to get, I mean, it's like, do you think that it's like he's watched good fellows, he's only watched the first half of good fellows, Scarface. Like, you're in the montage right now. You're 22, you know, things are going good and it's like a lot of fucking money. You get this, you know, you get to do, now, you're 22, you know, things are going good and it's like, a lot of fucking money, you get this, you know, you get to do, like, you haven't even been doing it that long in the grand scheme. Starting at 14, you weren't really selling drugs. You probably only... Yeah, you like stole your dad's weed and then you like...

I sold weed in high school, you know what I mean? Like, it was like, that's not a real, you know, that doesn't really count. That's not high profile, unless you're selling it to like dummy lavado. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're probably good. You're probably good. Yeah, you can't get caught unless it's a fucking, it's someone who went, they, them, and then went back.

So, you think. That's okay. It's okay, gender, everyone's got their own gender journey. And that's okay. It's okay. I wasn't making a judgment. I feel like Bobby's back on the phone. Okay.

So yeah dude, you're barely just starting to be eligible to be caught, right? Because when you're a dumbass little kid, it's like who gives a fuck. It's up to you. I mean, can you do anything else? Do you have any other skills? I would say selling drugs

is probably a good way to invest in yourself and something else you wanna do. If you're making good money, you can put that. If you wanna be like a painter, you can buy a bunch of supplies. Like really, put your head down to the craft. But if you really just like selling drugs, and I would get smart about it

and make a plan for when you do get caught. Have your money put away, be smart about it, invest. invest. crypto. yeah, yeah, yeah, you do, you do. That's the problem though. I don't think you smart enough to do it. yeah, it doesn't feel that way.

maybe after this, maybe we could knock some sense in. you're right. go to small, remember, yeah, go to fucking go take some small business classes. It's a zap. Yeah, they invest your money for you. I think I have a code. I get like a thousand dollars. No, no, no, people, this people, these mother, this, we will not hear the name of this app. No one gets a free fucking ride on Stavis world, all right? Email Stavisworld to gmail.com if you want to fucking sponsor the show

That whole thing is getting bleeped. I love when people though like the the app It just like gives anyone a code who signs up and but you know how people like try and be influencers like they'll get like Parade underwear and like use this code to get your friends involved and then people are like I have a code And it's like everyone has everyone code and everyone has a code. Everyone with an email has a code and no one cares about your B-ass in the parade underwear. That was an epidemic going on a couple years ago. Everyone was just posting in their underwear like they were models. Yeah, they sent me underwear and I tried taking photos in the mirror and I was like, this

looks so bad. I'm like trying to do the same. Goldalike makes my stomach look skinnier in my ass. Look, badger. I was just like, my back is so hard. I'm like, the exorcist girl, I'm just like, I'm tied down. So yeah, I would say you probably will get caught unless you're smart about it. And look, have you built up any skills?

Ally makes a very good point. If you've saved some money, can you invest in something else? Can you go clean? Because I think ultimately, yes, you need an exit strategy, unless you plan on being like a fucking kingpin. And now we're talking about having to like do violence and maybe not only just getting caught, but beginning fucking killed. So you, you have to be at the like,

you're kind of at a crossroads, where it's like 22 is like, what do I wanna do with the rest of my life? Do you wanna go down drug dealer path, which is like, all right, I guess I have to level up to the scary shit to make money and then you're living a pretty, which doesn't seem like a good life.

Certainly not for probably a acute little Australian twink if I had to guess from your voice, half Australian twink. Or can you become an entrepreneur of some other kind? Do you invest in like, do you have sales experience, right? Like, are you good at selling drugs? Can you talk people into doing stuff? Can you get a sales job?

Do you wanna start your own business? Have you made connections if you're in LA selling drugs? Like do you know people because they're clientele? You've made connections? It's just like anything else. Like you can kind of transition from it. So I would say you need a plan, buddy. You need to look yourself in the mirror.

Am I caught out to shale drugs? And if you're not, if you don't want to be 35 selling drugs, then start the plan to get out of it now and start transitioning out while the heat isn't really on you. Yeah, I also think 22, that's still a cute age. Just a telling drive. I would say give it, have a three year plan, right? Exactly, start transitioning out.

I'm trying to believe you need a kind of figure you're shut out, but 22 you're good. I think so, I think so. You can get away with it. You can get away with it, but each year you're But 22, you're good. I think so. I think so. You can get away with it. You can get away with it. But each year you're in it, you do have that. But also if you get caught once with not that much stuff,

you're probably okay. Do you think Canada's a drug dealer if you're selling weed and shrooms in LA? Like who cares? No, I think it would have to be probably a pretty significant amount of weed. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, and acid and...

Yeah. The threshold for a drug dealer is like, are you willing to kill someone who didn't pay you or something? Yeah. That's a hard choice you have to make to like cross over or something. I think minimum shoot them, right? Like maybe you don't have this guy could just be like, a guy who sells a little, you know,

like the way comedians, they do one open mic. They're like, I'm a comedian. This guy could be an open mic, he could be an open micer of selling drugs, you know? Cause just selling a little, getting your hands on a little DMT, whatever. And also, yeah, I'm not going to buy weed from you, motherfucker. They got stores, they got drive-thruz, you think I'm not going to buy weed from you, motherfucker. They got stores.

They got drive-throughs in LA. You think I'm gonna fucking hit you up? Hit us with another one, LD. Bobby, you big beautiful bitch. That's me. Alright, coming to you. From Canada, I'm not. All right, coming to you from Canada, I'm going to update. So wedding, wedding, wedding, has been the title of the year. It looks. The title.

It kept coming. It's in a little bit, but I'm in the wedding party. Do I, and I, so it's my best friend. He's dating and growing. I used to date. Here's a music also. The motionally, it doesn't really matter, but I'm now in a conundrum of where I'm in the wedding party. I get a speech like a little tiny one

Do I do I mention it? What or do I not mention it and kind of throw it under the rug also? clarification this is this is the second one of my exes he's with. What you got in there? You just got to bury this one. Let me know. What a stupid question. Hey, I'm doing a speech in my buddy's wedding. Do I mention how his wife used to suck my cock or what?

Because it seems like I would be kind of a missed opportunity not to, because you know, he fucked another one of my ex-, so I should probably mention I know what the brides pussy looks like, shouldn't I? No, you fucking dumbass Conundrum, how is this a conundrum? You just want a brag and let people know you got your dick sucked by the bride be the it's not your wedding you fucking piece of shit Why would they give you a speech? That's not, you know what, it's not even your fault. Probably had the dinner rehearsal or something. If he's doing a tiny little speech, I imagine it's a dinner rehearsal. You do get a dumbass like

this out of the way at the rehearsal dinner. You don't give him the mic. No, we're giving you a speech. Yeah, yeah. It's like 12 people at ARB's. Because you don't want him drunk a shit being like, 12 people at our base because you don't want him drunk a ship being like Bethany gives awesome You're gonna be so happy bro It always the best times of my life. Yeah, we can make your wife's always saw we can make it work So yeah, there's no conundrum here. You're an asshole for even thinking about this Do I mention it? No, what the fuck, why would you mention it?

No, you talk about your friend. Yeah, you talk about your friend. Then you say they're gonna do great together, even if you think they're not, you say they're gonna be happy, they're gonna be together forever. For me. Or if you even wanted to, you can't just kind of mention it. If you're gonna go in, you gotta go all in.

You gotta ruin it and fucking out. You can't just do a tiny mention. If there's hate in your heart and you wanna expand on that, go all in, fucking all in. Well, that's what's going on here, right? First of all, him being weddings, weddings is the title of the year, which is like, what does that even mean? Years don't have titles. The theme is that way you meant? Did you mean theme of the year, which is like, what does that even mean? Years don't have titles.

The theme is that way you meant? Did you mean theme of the year? You know, it's like, ah, 2017, the good time year. You remember that was the title we gave it? Anyway, there is something in this guy's, he is also a little like, that last part was a big hint, right? Yeah, the last part.

I can't one of my exes. This is the second one of my he's he's he's a gotten with. And he he's just decided to marry this one. What does that even mean? He's just decided to marry her. Like first of all, what do you think you own a woman? Because you fucked her a couple times. Like that's the other thing. Now is it weird that your friend has dated your exes? Yes. Twice. Twice is weird. Once is weird enough.

He said this one was years and years ago. So I'm like, okay, that's not too bad. But I'm curious what the other one was. Yeah, like if a friend of mine dated someone like in college or I think 10 years plus, it kind of resets where it's almost like a funny, almost like even a funny thing. But he definitely has some resentment about this.

But it's also like, it's your exes, dude. Yeah, because he said, he said, I'm not emotionally, it doesn't really matter. Which it does. But, which, why bring it up then? Yeah. Well, then what, okay, emotionally it doesn doesn't matter so in what way doesn't matter Yeah, that's the other like what do you mean then? It is an honor way you you've been you've been dishonored by him marrying your ex

I really don't it something You though to say like Jason his friend like oh Jason. He's a great man He's really he's got a type No, we could write great jokes. That's a good joke. That's a really good joke But we could we could add if we wanted to this is a great roast topic. It's like it's also it depends You know what now that I'm thinking about it if it's years and years ago Maybe they're dynamic is that they're all buddies You hear his voice. I know. I know, but if it's years and years ago, maybe their dynamic is that they're all buddies. If it's not, you hear his voice.

I know, I know. But if it was, is there all silly about it and it's something that they talk about a lot and everyone knows, then that's fun. But it's not, that last sentence clues us in, they haven't gotten through this. They've never even had, I bet you,

they've never had a conversation about how he feels about it. This is a little, what's going on here? This is the second time you've done this. Maybe he really let maybe the first one that he really was his friends. We also don't know what the situation what kind of ex who broke up with who. Did he want to be with these girls and then they broke up with him. Oh wait a second. Okay. Because sometimes the most brutal thing that can happen to someone is you bring someone around your friends, the girl you're dating realizes you're the shitty friend and that like,

I've had friends, like we've had friends in the past that have stolen our personalities, right? Yeah. And those guys bring, we've always been funny, you know, and we would have friends, they would keep our friends away from like, they would never let us meet their mutual friends. Then we'd meet them and they'd be like, dude, stop an elders or hilarious.

And they would be like, oh, he's been doing our bits to them. What if this guy is the shitty friend? He's brought his girl around. They realize his friend getting married is the better version of him. They've left him for him twice. That's a brutal one that might, there might be, and he might have, this is one chance for a little,

he could get a little control back. He could fucking let him feel what he feels. Now, this is pure and wild speculation, but that's a brutal situation, but you're right. And there is a situation where that's our dynamic, and here's another one, what kind of wedding is it? Is it like a cool, we've been divorced before in our 30s, half the parents are dead

or the ones that are alive are cool? Or is it big wedding? They're big day. Fancy, they're big day. Is it in a rented, nice hauler? Is it in like a fucking park? Is it someone's backyard? Because there's definitely comedians weddings that that would fly at

Yeah, but if you're if this is like a fancy nice wedding with everybody's fucking grandmother Don't talk about how you used to fuck the bride That's that's our final verdict on that one if you get to bring a plus one Maybe you can find the groom's act. That's now we're talking Now we're talking make a beautiful speech, but then in the back of everyone's head, they're like, that's Jason's girlfriend. Yes. That's if you want to get, if you want to get super villain with it, find one of his

acts is, or one of her acts is, bring a man that she used to fuck. How would she feel? Go gay. Just despite this couple, you got a lot of options for revenge, but don't do it in the speech, buddy. I think that's good advice. I think that was really good advice. I think we really nailed that one.

Hey, Stabby. So I am almost a 30-year female. I'm having a real hard time finding, I don't know, somebody just has fucking fun with. Like, it's so difficult in this data game now. Like, I have the dating apps, there's a bullshit. I try to go out, meet people, that's bullshit. Also, like, I'm a pretty independent woman.

Like, I own my own home. I work a pretty independent woman. I own my own home. I work a pretty special job. I have fellow friends and family. And I don't know. Do you have any advice on how to go out and meet people or how to treat yourself out there more. Anyway, love you, love your stand up, and super excited about this new podcast. Anyway, bye.

All right. I like her. I like her too. She's clearly going beaten down by the world, by the dating world. I think this could be a match for you. You think for me. She's got her own shit.

She does have her own shit. She doesn't have fun. She has a house, she has a job, good job. She has her family, she doesn't really need you, but like, that is good for me. I like to pop in and out. Yeah. That's a possibility of your New York City. How do you feel about emotionally unavailable comedians?

Yeah, this is, I mean, this is kind of hard, right? Like, especially somebody who has all their shit together, like I definitely feel this where I have invested a lot of my time and energy into every part of my life except, like, meaningful relationships. Like, I've had, you know, I've had college girlfriend and then I had like something that ended, that wasn't meaningful relationship in Baltimore, but I didn't know it at the time because it was like, well, I'm moving to New York

and I realized after the fact that I had feelings for her and then I had like one long relationship that I really tried to make work, right? But for the most part, that's not that long in terms of like, some people are in like a ton of relationships and they're always working at it. And I definitely feel this issue. Yeah.

That's how I feel like this last year has been like, I've worked so hard I haven't tried to like make anything. Everything has been kind of like casual and fun, but like, you know, so I get this. This is a real problem for a lot of people, especially somebody who has their shit together as much as her. And I think the short answer is,

are you working at it the way you worked at everything else? Right? Like, have you put a lot of time and effort into this? Because it is kind of hard, right? Like, especially like, you know, if you get into your late 20s and 30s, it's like, having, if you're juggling for having fun, that can be a little, because some people are like,

it's the last fucking chopper out of Vietnam. They're trying to get fucking married before like, you know, their 30s kick in, right? Not in New York, but it's like, you know. So I don't know, I think like, you got all your shit together, you have a nice base. So maybe you have to just dedicate more time to all of this stuff, right? There's no, there isn't like an answer.

Like you just have to do all the bullshit to find somebody good. I also think, I also think in this situation, you can't have any expectations. Like if you're just looking for someone to have fun with and like, hopefully find like a companion out of that, then don't go at it so seriously. Like be serious about it. You know, like time into it, but don't, but don't, yeah, don't think every day it is like this or nothing. And I think when you just kind of like, like I remember for a period of time I was on Tinder and I would just like, I would like, this is probably so annoying to hear.

Yeah, let's hear it. Let's see. But I would just say, if I wanted to meet up with a guy, I'd be like, hey, can we just meet up as friends? Which is probably annoying to hear. I would have been like, unmatched. Yeah. But then it just took all the pressure off

and then it was like, okay, we can do something fun. Right, right. And then it doesn't feel, but I don't even think I would have needed to say that. I think now that I'm older, I could be like, yeah, let's go do this or do whatever. Let's go get coffee, right? Like, but in my own head, I'd be like, this is just me

meeting up. Like, I would picture it as like, oh, I'm meeting up with like a friend of a friend who's in town. Like, when I was going to a day, I'd be like, oh, this is just like my friend's friend when I'm like taking to get coffee. That's very strange that you had to like do mind tricks on yourself.

Yeah, because I hated the idea of going on a day. It just felt so weird and like forced and awkward. Or some weird. So I was like, oh I'm just gonna like meet up with this person and see what they're like. Which look is totally valid. Like I think what you're talking about is like your expectations for a first date, right? Like basically if I can cut through, it's like, and which look is totally valid. Like, I think what you're talking about is like, your expectations for a first date, right?

Like, basically, if I can cut through, it's like, I wanna meet someone where they know I'm not gonna fuck them no matter what, the first time, right? And so that's totally reasonable. I think like, and this lady might wanna fuck some people she might not, she probably just wants to feel it out, but I think like ultimately,

because you made your boyfriend on Tinder, right? And it's like, I think a lot, you made your girl on, it was not an okay, cute bitch. Okay, keep it back in the day. Yeah. No, this is like when okay, cute bitch was already like kind of just done.

This is like way past it's prime already, but you figured it out. This worked. You got a great relationship out of it. And so it's like the apps are brutal and also just going out is brutal. But you just have to keep fucking at it and like yeah, go on a couple of these first dates

and you seem to be somebody who has their shit together so apply as like unromantic as it is. You almost have to treat, like when you're trying to find a job, almost like you're applying places, right? Send out some fucking resumes, go on these cute little fucking coffee dates or drink dates or just like stuff that puts the pressure off.

And that's really what it is. I mean, I'm not really, you know, I always, I definitely have my personal feeling is like, damn, I would really like to just meet someone in the real world. Like I would like that because I want to get off of the internet in general. And I think I'm working towards that a little bit

with just like having other people run my social media and shit. But at the same time, you can meet good people on an app. And if you wanted to be in real life, I think a tried and true method is actually kind of what, what you were pretending to do, which is friend of a friend. Yeah. Find someone you trust, go old school with it.

The original dating app, get matched up. You know what I mean? Have someone set you up. Yeah, reach out to friends that you trust and be like, do you know anyone who you think I'd be? Yeah. A good fit with. Yeah.

And you might even like, even with like online stuff, like me and my boyfriend have a lot of mutual friends, like randomly. Oh, interesting. So sometimes it works or it's like we met online but it feels like we could have met. Yeah. Out in the real world.

Yeah, yeah. And so yeah, and also to be clear, this is also just filtered advice from my therapist because I'm in a similar place with you where it's like, he's like, actually try. Like don't get discouraged, like the way, you know, I don't get discouraged if like a fucking, you know, something doesn't, if I'm working on,

you know, if I'm like auditions or some shit like that where I'm like, I wanna start acting, I've been writing, I've been auditioning, and it's like, you don't get anything for a long time. But I got a little sum, you know what I mean? You're about to see Stavvy on the fucking, on a streamer soon, on a little sum, you know what I'm saying? Like, you, and you just have to apply that

and just hope for the best, and it will be kind. Sometimes you'll have weeks where you're like, sucks I hate this but you'll have you might also just find somebody have a nice time with so good luck sister keep us fucking posted call 9 or 4 800 stop with the update we're eager to hear if it's working out for you what do we got, Eldis? Hey, Stabby. You on the show been talking to people a lot of ethnic dicks, and I thought I would ask a different kind of question. I never had a hemorrhoid before, but lately I've been bleeding out my ass a lot.

And you know, it's a little alarming about experience before I'm a guy. And I was curious if you had any experience with this, I'd recommend taking it seriously or not. I'm not a huge fan of the doctor. So I think the boy's a doctor. The fan of the doctor. That'd be great. Love you, Stubby.

Thanks. Bye. He's not a fan of the doctor like it's a fucking band. I don't really care for medicine. I don't like the leeches. They're early stuff. Um, uh, okay, so bleeding out of your ass now. Now we're in there, don't you?

You have more than a man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Blood come out being a man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had blood come out of my ass, hope sure. Okay. Yeah, eldest confirmed have gone to the doctor for these. Yep.

And I think I have undiagnosed. If I have a real tough time, sometimes I will get a real painful shit and you get little flex. So what I would say to you is take it seriously because ultimately bleeding out of your ass. Yeah, it could just be hemorrhage, it could just be not enough fiber too much straining and blowing out a little something in your ass pipe, but it also could be something really serious, right? So go to the doctor. I know you're not a fan of them. Have them look around your ass. Make sure you're not gonna die because you don't want to ask cancer pal, okay? We want you alive.

We want you out there, asking questions about your ass and not your dick for years to come. So that's really, I would be remiss to treat this as a joke because even if there's a little percent chance that something is seriously wrong with you, I would feel bad if you died and I didn't immediately tell you to go to the doctor. So get your ass piped checked. It's fun. It's fun. You're butt a little touch. A little medical. I don't know that I would describe it as fun personally. It can be fun. You have a cool doctor. Yeah, I got a I got a Colonoscopy once nice and it was such a blast. I got to see the inside of my Yeah, and also yeah the straining that's a big one

Straining sure do not push it out. Don't push it out. Let it let it let it glide Get a little get a little get more fiber in your diet. There's stuff you can do right now. If I've had a couple rough shit, I go smoothie. I might have one today after this podcast, actually. I like this guy needs to do a checklist. If his doctor's like the last option, then like, are you eating a lot of beats? Cause that'll make it look like a-

Sure, a red velvet cake. Remember, we had a friend, we had to rush to the hospital once, and he was like, I'm bleeding out of my ass. And we were like, oh my God, what the fuck? And he had eaten an entire red velvet cake. And the doctor was like, there's nothing wrong. And then everyone, we went from worried about him dying. He's also fat as shit.

So it was like, it was the fat, and we're not, it's not a not fat group here, right? So imagine how fat this guy was and we were like, ah you fucking fat moron you ate a whole red velvet cake Doctors checking his birthday. He's like is it your birth? No, you just ate an entire cake interesting So yeah, go to the doc. I would say just go to the doctor But yes, there's stuff you can do is you fiber your diet, all that kind of stuff, but I'm not, because this is not a disclaimer, this is not a medical show, don't fucking advice.

Go to the doctor first and foremost, I'm not even gonna tell you the other shit to check out, because I want you to get finger popped for your own good by the doctor. Yeah, every guy listening to this over the age of 35. Right, go get finger popped. I got a schedule one soon actually yeah Eldest is we got his asshole check. I went this year. Yeah, how was it buddy? It was it was pretty weird

The doctor did it. He like put the looped figure up there He kissed you on the neck Can you spin on my fingers? I didn't do with his fingers down your throat. Oh. But he did it and I really did have like a... Oh, mom. And then he like finished and I was like, wow, I've never done that before.

You said that? I was like, there's this man. I was like, there's this man. I'm the first time. I'm the first time. You're like another one, another one. I'd also tell this guy though, get a bidet. Get a bidet. Whether or not, something's wrong. Like you won't go back at it. That's great. And listen, if you're a bidet company, we just believed what she said out. Imagine if that was yours,

wouldn't that have been nice. Stavvy's world, we're looking for advertisers folks. You know what I'm doing? White elephant gift? Great gift, a bidet. That's a great gift. That's a great gift. That's a great gift.

There's so many on Amazon, that's such a good white elephant gift exchange. Yes, absolutely. It's not hard to install one I'm doing a little makeover of this place when I get a little time off double bidet days in both bathrooms I can't believe I haven't done it yet All right, I get the one that heats up the water. I like that. Yeah, real Japanese style. Yeah, I remember going to Japan every Every toilet hasn't I want to go to Japan so bad fucking rocks one were you there?

I want to go to Japan so bad. You fucking rocks. One were you there? Um, probably a few years ago. Just for fun. Four or five years ago, we did a hometown tour of Australia. Okay. And Adam tricked us into thinking, we didn't look at a map and we were like, we thought Japan and Australia were like next to each other and it was like a 10 hour phone.

Oh my god. And so he wanted to literally go shopping. That's like fucking asshole. I'm still mad about it. You know what? It was the summer. After the last time you were here when I fucked my foot up, because I just was able to walk.

And instead of going to like some beach, like we could have gone to like Thailand, which was like, you know, right next to Australia, you just lay on a beach all day. We go to a fucking huge, you walk in cities. And I loved it. Tokyo was fucking sick.

I want to go back for sure. But and that my asshole was treated right, but that was the only part of my body that was happy. Yeah. I was like, I can't go shopping in fucking Japan. There's no fat. No one's as fat as me there. There was one big and tall store. There was one guy who was the model for every. They have like one fat guy. He has this big fat Japanese guy with like a bull cut. And he was just like in a 2xL like polo shirt. And there's clothes we're all horrific anyway.

But I also went one time. I was doing like very low level like USO shows like on marine bases. And we had one day off in Tokyo. But this was like this was so early. This was before I moved to New York actually. So it was like how did you get that gig? I the headliner. Like I was working with this guy. So it was like, how did you get that gig? I, the headliner, like I was working with this guy, really funny, bent Washburn, very funny comedian. And he was, he was like, just keyed into those gigs and they, it didn't pay very well,

but it was like, you know, I'm 24 or something and it's like, they pay for your tickets. I think I made like literally $750, but they pay for everything. That's nice. And it was like, you know, I'm, I'm poor as shit my whole life. I'm like, $750, but they paid for everything. That's nice. And it was like, you know, I'm poor as shit my whole life. I'm like, how the fuck am I going to get to Japan?

So I was like, let's fucking do it. How would you do it again? I would do it again for sure. I wouldn't, I don't know that I would do shows or if I would just go for a vacation. I mean, I guess the only show. I'm in the USO. Like would you do USO shows again?

I guess so, yeah. Depending on where it would be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, especially if it was a way to get to Tokyo. And Korea, we went to Korea for a second. I went to Korea. I really want to go to Korea again.

Because we didn't get to go to anywhere cool. We got to go to somewhere real, I don't even know where it was. And it wasn't like, you know, solar, anything like that. It wasn't like a, some bomb set. Some bomb set. No, no, no, it was a cool, I know, soul or anything like that. It was just like a... Some bums. Some Bums. Some Bums. Some Bums. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Mark that down, Elders. We're gonna do that. I'm gonna go find a wife after they cut cutter from the K-pop. That would be such a good video of you trying to be a K-pop star.

That would be a good one. You need to go to Korea just to film a K-pop camp. We do need to do that. I would love to do that. Let me try to dance and shit. All right, let's fucking do another one. I'm having a great time. We're really crushing these. So basically, I've been having a hard time stopping smoking weed. Classic.

It's never really been a problem. It's just affecting my memory and shift. Yeah, I don't know. Like I'll lose track of what I'm saying pretty quickly and like right now. But yeah, any advice on, you know, how to cut back seems like every time I try to stop, I always end up going back to the sensory or I don't know. So any advice you got, man, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you. Sure. Yeah. I like how he's like, it's not a big deal. It's just fucking up my memory. He's like 24 years old. And I also say don't quit smoking.

We just tell everyone it's brain fog from COVID. You have long COVID. You have the perfect excuse. It's not, you know, 2023. I guess you could keep getting COVID. Yeah, long haul COVID. Long haul baby. My mom's been using that excuse for her

alcoholism. She's like it's long haul COVID, I'm brain fog. I'm like I haven't seen you. Oh, she's back. They're her and your dead metadata. Oh yeah, they're both. Oh yeah. They were sober just long enough to meet each other to have a weird, I mean, I'm glad they did. We wouldn't have you, but probably not good for their lives. No. Yeah, after I was born, they started drinking. That's, it is really funny to think about that, because I think about that with my parents, I'm like, they shouldn't have been together, but then I wouldn't exist.

Yeah. So, I guess, sorry you had a shitty marriage, but- Cut the losses. Although, not existing doesn't sound so bad. Yeah. Yeah, you don't know your miss or you could have Yeah, I don't know because you you could have yeah, there's too many like possibility our souls just got like we were in line for a different Baby, and I could have been in like Yeah, you could have some weird ass family. I could yeah, I could be in like the third world

I could have been born Albanian. Oh, could you imagine? Do you know any other Greek sorobanians? eldest Have you ever come into contact with any other Greek sorobanians? We want to do this probably but no albus There's big like yeah, because I grew up. There's a lot of like Greek restaurants Yeah, you actually you probably met some Albanians at those restaurants, too They they're there. Well, who are like the met some Albanians at those restaurants too. They're there Well, who are like the most famous Albanians?

Do a leap us. Yeah, now he's singing a different tune off the mic He's talking about how she's from Kosovo, but now he's claiming yes, she's from Kosovo Yeah, you'll claim do a leap in now motherfucker, but before he's called there's some not charitable things I Won't even say it Action Bronson is half Albanian. That's a big one. The blouse is a big one. The blouse is a douche Bring it on she's half of Regis Filben or may he rest in peace. Yeah Some cute stars

Yeah, some cute stars Yeah, I've done quite a bit of beating off to Elijah D's crew Because of the VHS copy of the new guy You see that movie with JD calls or whatever his name is great great flick great flick I also actually going back to the chop thing recently Started having sex while watching the new guy. So I went through that on and started making out with a woman. So pretty nice. Has a special place in my heart, that movie.

Elijah, there's a point in Elijah, it's a PG-13 movie by the way. And she's trying on like bikinis and like sucking on a lollipop. And when I was like an eighth grade, I was like, I wore that part of the tape out. Yeah. We had a fucking in our house, it was like my grandma,

the upstairs was like my grandma, my room and my brother's rooms, or room, they shared it, their whole lives, poor guys. There was four of us upstairs, then my parents' room and the living room. And then the basement, we had the kitchen and a VCR. So I did so much beating off just in the kitchen basement when it was just like,

like just like watching to make sure no one was coming down the stairs. There was like no door. It was just like an open doorway. And I'm just like pulled up in a folding chair. That's kind of the fun of it. No, I don't have any of that. Because it's not like getting caught by a hot girl,

it's like, your father. You know what I mean? There's no like, ooh, what could happen? It's also not comfortable to beat off down there. Like, there's no couch or anything. No, I'm in a folding chair. I take a pleasure, I put it right in front of the TV. And I'm just like, and like rewind.

Cause it's only like a 12 second part. So I'm like like and like rewind because it's like a set like a 12 second part so I'd like beat off Just like trying not to come while you're Rewinding try to come right when the her titties are bouncing. That was a big problem with trying to masturbate to the, what was that Robin Thick video, blurred lines? Cause. The back is a keeps going. It goes back to Robin Thick. And it's like, come on Robin Thick.

I'm trying to bust here, man. Good times. Okay, back to the answer his question, not at all. How do you stop smoking? Do you still smoke weed? No. No, you're off that too. Yeah, I can't do it. If I could do like one bump of cocaine in the morning just to get my day started, that would be great. Any adder, anything like that? No, I used to do adder all but then I was doing, once I got sober I was like, well it's prescribed to me and then I was, once I got sober, I was like, well, it's prescribed to me and then I was like doing it at night

and I was like, oh, that's weird. Yeah, that's weird, that's weird. I will say, I do, I prefer doing Adderall in place of cocaine, because I know what I'm gonna get. It's pretty much the same thing. Like a nice, a move I did for a while when I first got to New York was high, high a shit on Adderall, go out.

I really like that combo. It's like a poor man's speed ball, you know? That won't like kill you as fast. Just on a low dose of meth. Yeah, basically a low meth and a fucking joint. Not as bad as heroin and fucking cocaine, you know what I mean? Now, my friend over here trying to stop smoking weed. I have definitely experienced this.

I did stop smoking weed. I've been sober completely for like six months now. Really? Yeah, yeah. I think I'm gonna go back, but I just, it's one of those I just, my rule that I think I'm gonna do is while I'm on tour, I'm gonna stay sober,

so that it at least kind of like keeps me healthy. Cause the last tour, I was just too out of control. And this next tour, I'm gonna also fold in like getting my meals delivered to the hotel. So they like, cause that's the final piece if I'm eating on the road. Yeah, cause if you're on,

yeah, you're just eating chicken tenders every time. It's like you can have one of those, but it's like every nine. Yeah, it's too much. So anyway, so each time, each tour I'm trying to like improve it a little bit. So I think what I'm gonna do is stay sober.

Next weekend I'm off the road, so I'm gonna have a little holiday. Yeah, a holiday. You deserve it. Get fucked up. Me and my brothers are gonna probably watch Avatar. I'm probably gonna do mushrooms. Yeah, we have.

I've never done mushrooms. That's one thing that I'm like, I have to try that. How about acid? No, that's a little too scary for me. I'm gonna say try mushrooms and if you like, I'm gonna ask. To me, honestly, they're a little interchangeable. Acid, there's no, mushrooms can kind of fuck your stomach up a little bit,

but acid, there's no stomach issues. And it's, to me, I don't know, do you see, to me, I see they're pretty similar, but who knows, They felt pretty similar. Well, we did ask it like, we did ask it on our 30th birthday. Elders is born one day before me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We watched Spider vs.

We watched like a bunch of toddler. That was so good. So good. Yeah. I'm not into, I didn't know nothing about the series. I'm not keeping up with what Spider-Man's gift in too. But that movie and insanely good movie. When they all saw each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, beautiful, beautiful film. Great film to watch on your 30th birthday. Yeah. And have realizations. Just all an acid sitting in the balcony like damn bro.

Life brother. I was scared to try it, but it was like, I think I just didn't take as much as you did. Oh, I did double you, what you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone, I think I took three taps. My shit was just right. I think I had a black one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I took two and a half.

That's that bad. Anyway, I had a great time. That was a great birthday. Yeah, maybe this guy could just like, microdose mushrooms. I would say, I've had that problem too, where I was micro dosing for a while, and then one time I was gonna micro dose a wedding,

and I just dosed. Yeah. And me and my friend, it was acid actually, and we got, we were so fucking high at a wedding. It was actually really fun, the best wedding I've ever been to, but we're in the Uber going there, and we're just, the trees are like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. And we're in the Uber going there and we're just the trees are like And my we're on a tanks group and everyone's like no one is saying anything. Everyone's just like L.O.L

We know what's going we're with five friends of no idea I'm communicating without saying anything Very memorable wedding we don't have time to get into it. But if I'm you, buddy, and I've, so I've been this, I've done this before. The hardest part for me for not smoking weed is the sleep. Cause like, I use it, it always starts with me with sleep. Like I always would use it on the road to like,

go to bed and then that goes into, instead of smoking it at midnight, it turns into, I'll start smoking it as soon as I get off stage. And then it goes like, oh of smoking it at midnight, it turns into, I'll start smoking it as soon as I get off stage. And then it goes like, oh, get a little high in the afternoon to your waking bacon, forget it. And then days off, I'm thinking at a, I'm thinking like, oh, 50 milligrams of that,

you know, whatever. So my advice is, you just gotta go cold turkey and you gotta give yourself some time. Because it's harder, people treat weed as a bullshit drug, and it is, don't get me wrong. The classic half-baked, you ever suck dick for weed scene. It doesn't ruin as many lives, but it can be as a dick thing. So give yourself some time.

Holidays are actually probably not a bad time because you have some time off, and you're gonna wanna talk or yourself out're gonna want to like talk or yourself out. That's what I would do. The day, like I would stop smoking weed and I would just like exercise more. I would just like, just make sure I wouldn't drink caffeine late like after like fucking a, you know, just a very early in the morning. And because I think if you can get your sleep regulated, then that is the worst of it. You're gonna have like some shakes

You're gonna like not feel great. So just have fun days like play some fucking video games do things that are otherwise Destructive for you, but use them as a crutch to get you off weed You know watch some movies are fun. You get to remember the plot. I watch the movie. I watched the The movie where fucking watch this Joaquin Phoenix is fucking people up with a hammer. What does that one call? Do you know that one? I watched that three times in the third time. I was like, wait, I've seen this before.

I just watched it high as shit three times. And I watched it sober and when it ended I was like, I've watched this two other times. My guy just, I was like, this feels so familiar. So, I've actually really enjoyed watching movies. I would watch sober and being like, oh, this is such a better movie. I remember what happened. Just talk to yourself out, have a good, you know,

play some video games, watch some movies, see some friends, do things that are enjoyable, and use that as a crotch till you get, cause the first couple of days you really literally go through like these fucking withdrawals, you're in a bad mood, you have all that kind of shit. So that's my advice to you, my friend. Yeah, give yourself compassion. And then yeah, like you were saying

like have like really good snacks that you like around, cause I'm sure part of it is like an oral fixation. So like eat some snacks. Get some snacks. CBD, I would like, honestly, I would literally like smoke CBD joints like an old alcoholic drinks of doors. Yeah. So like CBD's out there and it does a little something for you

and especially the oral fixation, I would literally for a while smoke a CBD joint and just like calm down. So, but I think it's good. I honestly do, I have, I have never stopped smoking weed and been like, this is bad for me. I'm always happier than I'm doing it. And every time I start smoking again,

I'm like, this is a mistake, but I'm gonna do it anyway. So I think you'll feel better, but just try, just tuck yourself out, exercise. Go on some nice walks, have some good days. And just once you get past like days, and just, you know, once you get past like a week or two, you're in the clear pretty much.

Then it's just like don't start smoking again. Yeah, and if it's a sleep thing, melatonin gummies. Melatonin's not bad either, there we go. How are we doing on time, how do you have to do, Ali? I'm sorry, I don't wanna lie. We're at an hour or 40. Oh nice. Yeah, it's just fucking crushing it.

How about one more? Yeah one more one more to say goodbye Get us a nice one. Oh this yeah, and as always guys 904 800 stop. Leave a fucking voicemail All right, are good by are good by call hey, scabby as a bigger man I was wondering what are the fashion brands that you wear yourself as a very fashionable man? I can see that you come out dripping to every show in every podcast. So I want to know, where did you get your clothes? I'm dripping as you can tell. I'm wearing a 3XL, Milwaukee Bucks Japanese, shout out to Janice Dette Cumbo, and some Adidas 2XL track pants.

This is a great, Ali, you wanna take this one? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, this, you know, it's a little trial and error as a fat man, right? You have to know, it's also what kind of fat man are you? You're shaped, what two excels work for you, what three excels work for you.

You have to, everything is a little different. I find the comfort colors, the t-shirts that are good, I like a Los Angeles apparel, they have a nice, thick, well cut shirt, I have comfort colors for like my t-shirts. Obviously you can't go wrong with a track suit as a fact guy. The holy grail of fat fashion as a fat man is track suit Hawaiian shirt, okay? You can get those two pretty well.

You gotta get yourself a nice pair of pants, but you can find big boy jeans, that's easy. Find some jeans, find the cut that works for you, get it in every color, alright? You just got a pants or the hard one, I think. If you want to splurge, go to the fucking Big and Tall store, check out, you know what? I don't want to say brands, but I'm going to say because they've been good to me, DXL. I'm a DXL guy. He ever been to a plus size story, he ever been to a men's, never dated a fat man and

gone shopping with him? Uh-uh. No, been to a plus size story. He ever been to a men's never dated fat man and go on shopping with him. No, never dated a fashion. It's not that I wouldn't. It's not that I wouldn't. Wow, no fat guys. Honor, I like fat guys. You're in the hostel getting fucking worked over by anybody who has $32, but you won't fuck a fat man.

It was like a, it was like a disgustingly skinny white rapper from Atlanta. And I wish that he was just a regular average big track guy. I would. What I would do to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, in hindsight. Sure, I'm sure. I will say you treated like a king at a DXL. Now the thing is they know they got you by the balls. They know there's no other place to get that kind.

So there's never a sale to get that kind of. So there's never a sale. Everything is a little too expensive. They really do trap you. But if you're looking for a luxury experience, in my estimate, sometimes I will say a lot of times the people working there, I have a hunch are like gay guys that want to fuck big guys.

There's, I get really good service at the one in Manhattan. There's a guy who's like asked me about his day, my day all the time, and I've been to one on the road where the girl was like, I think her boy, like you could tell she wanted to like, she liked Fat Pea. So like, I do think there is a weird thing

where some of the employees even might want to fuck you and it smells nice in there, they got good stuff. You're gonna drop a lot of money though, I will say. It's a sport. Give it that might be good to get like some staple pieces. Some nice quality things. Some nice ones. Yeah.

So you can wear all the time. Yep, yep, yep. Get some good use out of them. Absolutely. But other than that, it's just a matter of like, find cool t-shirt brands you like, get a three, get a nice three Excel, get a four Excel. Find people that have the sizes you like and and just hammer those a little bit, and then

go track suit. I'm in the middle of replenishing my track suit stores right now. I'm going to actually go, I was doing some googling. I think Fila has some nice ones. Now one thing I will say, Adidas, I like Adidas, but some of these brands have to get better with their 3 XL, 3 XL, they stop at 2 XL and we're a fat country. You know, my man over here, he might be a 4 XL, he might be a 5 XL. We need to, we need to some fat acceptance, but it's growing. Lands end LL being they've, they've recently

gone to bigger sizes. So, but you can't go wrong with a track suit and a nice colorful shirt, or the winter version of that, another version that I'm not as into, but I like to throw in every once in a while, it's almost like lumberjack, fat guy, get some plaid, get a nice cardigan, come on. And though, look, you wanna look cozy. I love a big man and a cardigan.

That's a good look. It's a great look, It's a great look. It's a great look. I'm not a big man, but I would say, don't do the Walmart classic goofy t-shirt. Like, I'll just be the quirky big guy. I would say, have some confidence. Wear something that you feel really good in. Absolutely.

You'll swag down. Get stuff that's nice. Don't be buying cheap shit because you're like, I'm going to lose weight so I'll just buy the cheap things. No, that's huge actually. Don't be like buying cheap shit because you're like, I'm gonna lose weight so I'll just buy the cheap change. Right, no, that's huge actually. That is big advice here. Oh, and the bigness. No where you're at.

A big moment in this tour, I was fighting, having to go back. I had clawed my way out of 3X. I was even at 1X for a while. And then I was like, just be honest with where you are right now. It's not for the rest of your life. But like literally the most anxiety I would have was packing for the road and being like, I have three and a half shirts that fit me, depending

on if I've had a big blunch or not, that half. And when I just bought you clothes and I looked great, like I love the clothes, it was like really worth it. So, be honest with yourself, that is a huge one, that's a great one. Don't buy something cheap and be like, oh, I don't need it. You know, it's like you'll be wearing that something cheap that you're losing weight. You'll be wearing that for the next eight months and you'll you'll look like shit. So be honest with where you are. You're you're good. And if you want to lose weight, just keep at it, work at it, but you can always

buy you clothes. So just be very honest with where you are. And don't just look at yourself from the perfect angle. That's another problem with a fat guy. There's one angle where you don't look so fat. And you are looking at yourself in the mirror like that. No one else sees you like that. Okay, look at the, you gotta look at the side brother. All right, it's not gonna be nice. You're not gonna like how it looks,

but if you're honest with yourself, then you can dress for it, right? So yes, be honest with your body, have comfortable clothes, and splurge a little bit. Have a couple staple pieces. Have a nice look that you, that's also repeatable. And I think sometimes guys are afraid to ask an employee at the store for advice or help, and I would say just ask. Sure. Ask get some outside opinions. Yep, yep, yep. help and I would say just ask. Sure. Ask it some outside opinions. Yep, yep, yep.

Switch it up, try something different that you wouldn't normally try because you're like, oh, like a, a, a fact I wouldn't rock this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try something weird that you normally wouldn't. I agree with you fully. And I also think there is also one strength that I have found is that if it seems like you shouldn't have confidence, but you do, people are very attracted to that. Like, there's no on paper, you don't look at me

and go, that guy believes in himself, right? If you don't know who I am, and you see me approaching from the street, you're not a comedy fan, you don't know what's going on, you're like, but I come up to you and I just have no, you know, I just behave the way I always behave. People are like something in their basic head is like, this man looks like you shouldn't be, you know,

not believe in him. This man looks like you shouldn't speak to me with this much authority and his voice. What's going on? What's, I have to find out what's going on here. And everyone likes a jolly, this is the time, by the way. This is big boy season. You get everyone likes a jolly this is the time by the way This is big boy season you get what likes a jolly fat guy put on a cute sweater be cuddly be fun You're fucking you're you're gonna you're gonna crush it pal. So go to the excel go to you know

These other brands l l bean has some fucking bigger stuff and just go on the internet and try one thing from each website to see How it fits you before you before you really fucking break the bank. So that's my advice to you my friend and I think you're going to do really great. Good luck to you buddy. Good luck to everybody who called did 904 800 stuff. We'll be back again soon with another episode. All you are fucking awesome. You're such a good guess.

Thanks for having me. Of course, come back anytime. What do you what what should the people? What what do you want to plug here? What do you want them to see? Have some shows coming up. If you want to see if I'm in your city, go to alliemakofsky.com slash shows now we're talking. And that's it for now. Hell yeah, go see Allie on the road. Come see me on the road. Stabby.biz the fat rascal tour. We're selling out all over the place,

baby. And tell your friends about the show. It's new, we're trying to get it off the ground, leave us a nice review, all that kind of stuff. From me and super producer Eldis, goodbye everyone. Play us off, Eldi. There it is. I love it sweet, it's delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango Pretty cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've I've gotten sucked off be like this actually

One time I have to read that I was like, wanna come back with some fruit salad? And I thought it was smooth, and then some girl after she fucking was like, that was so weird, you asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know, I wasn't drunk, and I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, Dziak. Well, here's the thing, thank you for bringing me back on point,

because I was eating the mango, and oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards, and I was eating the mango and I've oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. Yeah. And I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know, I'm a dick pill of angelist eldest. Oh, yeah. You know know I'm an ED, I've tried them all from the gas stations to other services. MangoRx now has a new ED pill that is game changing, okay?

Taste like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all out. They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever. We're talking zwing. You know, when they take out a sword and it goes yeah

that's how I felt putting my day taking my dick out of the condom it was like unsheathing my hardcock it was pure metal after I had some mango Rx shining in the light. Yes one little gleam one little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. I don't know. Yeah, because like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow.

They got all kinds of science shit in here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard Science in the field, right people who have a beautiful goal. You here's their, make America hard again, eldest. They, you know, let's get, can we get,

fuck, fucking idiot. There you go, sorry. We tried to give it the applause, it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again. I think on, whatever side of the aisle you're on, conservative liberal leftist centrist, you could, we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks, all this division in the world would

go away, all this. I think this is such a good product. Eldis, I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on, on ED medication in general, because look, here's the thing about mango orics, you might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal. Yeah. All right. I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes.

A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed. You've seen me take get, so I'm sure. Just because you wanted a little dummy. I love a snack, because that's so much why I had to get high as well.

I'm saying you take weed adibles. I've seen you take fiber adibles where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary snack. I've seen you take thums on an empty stomach just because you wanted the taste. And that's how we got elders through the door here with mango Rx. It's easy folks folks buying mango, buying mango is so easy. Just

go to mango rx.com, complete a short and secure telemedicine visit. You're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over in literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing. Quick and easy. Be sure to use code stav20 to save 20% off your first order. You and your partner are going to love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding. And most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different

requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.

special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.