Stavvy's World - Bonus #122 - Carmen Lagala [PATREON PREVIEW]
Episode Date: April 3, 2025From Stavvy's World Bonus #122 - Carmen Lagala: https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Carmen Lagala joins the pod to discuss growing up in small town Vermont, her dad the romantic cheater, her sporty ...past as a student athlete, her special Sweet Batch, and much more. Carmen and Stav help callers including a guy who suspects his mom of cheating on his stepdad, and a woman who can't get kissed on dates. Watch Carmen Lagala's special SWEET BATCH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gu4LUMAh3s See Carmen Lagala live and follow her on social media: https://www.carmenlagala.com/ https://www.instagram.com/carmstagrams/ https://www.youtube.com/@carmenlagalacomedy https://www.tiktok.com/@carmenlagalacomedy 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Watch LET'S START A CULT (Saxon was a camera operator on this too!) on Hulu: https://www.hulu.com/movie/lets-start-a-cult-1f157c44-3840-4f01-8863-bb6afa472a0b ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!
Transcript
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What's this stuff I'm calling to ask you about I had this relationship thing I did
Almost like two years ago now
Or I met this chick on the bus in college used to know her in high school
crushed on her really hard
we
You know got together did a couple dates and fucked around and stuff.
Nice.
But I gave this chick some of the worst dick I've ever given anybody in my life.
And I feel so bad about it.
Especially because she kind of just ghosted me.
She never ended it officially or anything she just stopped texting back
that just shows just how bad the dick I was giving out was and it's just I think
about it so much I really feel so bad you know it's not a good representation
of me and the kind of person I am. She's just so hot. I just
busted within like 10 seconds every time. I don't even do that that often. It was just her.
Like she's so fucking hot. But should I text this girl stuff and just be like, hey, I'm so
sorry I gave you some of the worst dick ever. You don't even got to reply to this.
Just know that's not me. Or should I just not text her because that's yeah thanks I mean I I would just
do it but it's like she's also friends with a couple of the other friends we
knew from high school and I don't know why but I feel like that my reputation
is just in tarnish with like four people that I don't even see anymore now and it kills
me.
Sorry man.
Thanks, Salves, let me know what to do.
This is tough man, this is tough stuff.
Honestly this is another, this feels very wholesome to me as well.
It is, it is hilariously wholesome, but it's like look
You have to feel this pain. You have to let this drive you we all have you're saying he's saying this and I'm remembering
Same-same-same
Like I'm remembering like three women that I blew it with
Because and then I'm remembering one that was such a saint like I couldn't get hard twice in a row
And she still gave me a third shot and she thought my dick was not was hard this is how good of a person this woman is she thought
my dick was hard and I had a micro dick because like because and then the third and then she still
went on three dates with me and then finally my dick worked and you actually dated for a little
bit for a while but it was like it was I just remembering, he's saying this and I'm like,
hoo, these are the ones that spur you
to fuck better in the future.
You need these horrible, horrible memories
to keep you up at night, to keep you awake,
to make you stay fresh on new, you know,
new fuck, new pussy eating concepts,
new ways to like, maybe it's, I shouldn't have-and-cokes in a burger right before I fuck this girl
Like just it keeps you sharp
This is the engine that this is the fuel that fuels the engine of good fucking is these horrific memories in my opinion
But that's so funny
If your friends from high school the four friends friends, the girls know, but the guys don't.
Yeah. Also, it's like, here's the thing.
You don't send this text because because now it's maybe like a thing that's in the ether.
And who knows? There's a chance she hasn't really even maybe she's.
Yeah. You could have just blown it with your stupid personality.
This is a hot woman.
She's probably used to guys busting fast.
Here's how he blew it.
He's implying that he didn't make her cum.
She would be like, that was great if she came.
Even if it's 10 seconds, if you went down on her afterwards.
That's a great point.
Yeah.
And that's something you do learn when you have a bad penis,
is you learn other skills.
And that is like, believe me me when my dick wasn't getting hard
I was eating pussy. I was finger-popping. I was getting it done in multiple ways
Cuz that's sex for a woman and then they consider it like it's not just the entrance of the penis
That's like such a small part of it for us. Yeah. Yeah, it's really just about us coming, right?
I'm game that we're gonna be like that was awesome. Yeah, I've had so much lesbian style sex
Be like that was awesome. Yeah, I've had so much lesbian style sex
Not involved at all
Rubbing our clits together
And so you fucked up this is really an education for you to like when you give bad dick you have to
You know you have all these other accoutrements you have to learn you have to get good at other ways of fucking
the text is really funny because it's like I
Feel like I've gotten that text before
Like I've been like okay
Whatever right cuz like best kid it's not like she's gonna see that and be like you know let me get back thought about it
He's self-aware Maybe it's time I fuck him again.
What's going to happen is now the story she told
where people are like, oh, come on, it wasn't that bad.
She has tangible proof to show the group chat.
If you send that, that's getting screen shot
at the kingdom come, brother.
It's getting screen shot at that.
I can confirm.
Yeah.
The whole class of 13 is gonna know
what's that guys out.
There's a banner at your 10 year reunion
with that fucking text message on it bro.
Don't do it.
Take the L, let this be a lesson to you.
You have to get better at fucking moving forward.
Yeah.
Who?
The classic car crash theory man
When you get in the car crash never say sorry
Ask if they're okay, but you never want to admit fault because it can be used against you never say sorry for fucking bad
coming too fast
For not you for your dick not getting hard
They don't want to admit fault very yeah, just, God you were so hot it made me come so quickly. Yeah. You don't have to say that doesn't happen.
You're just, we don't fucking care. Yeah. Just make me come and then you're fucking off the hook.
I'm gonna be like, what an awesome time. If you get, I have actually in fact
after
after busting fast, but knowing I made somebody come before, I'll be like, that was a pretty
quick bust over there.
And like, laughed it off, because it's like, I know I'm good, and now we can all share
a hearty laugh at how fast I came.
You know what I mean?
It's like, that makes us think that like, oh, you were so turned on by making us come
that you came really quickly.
Right, right.
That's so hot.
Yeah, see that?
You got it.
Make her come first and then come.
Exactly. You got it make her come first and then come they can exactly the the formula for poor for poor
penetrative intercourse havers that's works for us all I
Feel like we're really getting stuff done today. Absolutely. You know this is good because
We're kind of like it's kind of like where you have to freshen up on the basics
Like I feel like this is such a fundamental part of my life, but we haven't addressed it in a while on the show.
How to do basic fucking 101 for the bad cock,
which is 90% of this audience.
It's guys with bad dick and the women who fuck them.
And the rest are gay.