Stavvy's World - Bonus #140 - Kush Brothers Vol. 21 w/ Maddy Smith [PATREON PREVIEW]

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Astoria’s most wanted, AKA our beloved kush sister Maddy Smith and JP “The Mac Man” Mcdade, return for Kush Brothers Vol. 21 to break down the biggest news stories of the day, including a woman whose bust grew too large due to a rare medical condition, a medieval Armenian church-state circumcision beef, and (in timely Kush Bros fashion) THAT Coldplay couple. Maddy, JP, and Stav help callers including an attractive female oncologist who wants to discourage patients from commenting on her appearance, and a man who’s wondering if it’s unethical to paternity test his son behind his baby mama’s back. See Maddy Smith live and follow her on social media: https://maddysmithcomedy.com/ https://www.facebook.com/somaddysmith https://twitter.com/somaddysmith https://www.instagram.com/somaddysmith/ https://www.tiktok.com/@somaddysmith https://www.youtube.com/c/MaddySmithcomedy Follow JP McDade on social media: https://twitter.com/jp_mcdade https://www.instagram.com/mcdadebaby 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

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please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor for your charge. low eldest and whatever maniac is guys there it's tough but you know I had a kid with the woman that I met after three months she got pregnant and uh

I brought a two year old now beautiful healthy child I'll deal with the mother what were these calls women this fucking high man the first it was kind of tough but now look it sounds heavy but it is a straightforward question.

Okay. Anything involved a surprise pregnancy. Freaks me out. The late Cush Brothers calls are always like, yeah, I'm being audited.

The IRS says I didn't file. You know, it's like, you picked the worst ones on purpose. No, I'm like, no, I'm like,

am I pregnant? Hold on. Check in, freaking out. The state is going to impound my car. Yeah. This guy's fucked.

I met. After three months, she got pregnant. And, uh, I brought a two-year-old now. Beautiful, healthy child, still with the mother. Okay.

Things are going well. But I had this very big fear at the beginning that the kid wasn't mine. But she reassured me over time. No, no, it's yours. It's yours. There's no way it's anybody else's. Well, come to find out that she's going to be seeing very soon the guy she dated right before me. Oh, no. When I say right before me, I mean weeks.

Oh, no. And I saw a picture of them for the first time. It looks just like my fucking kid. This is the one you reassured us would be better if we let it go on. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you? To listen. It didn't get to the question yet. I, like, became him seeing the photo.

Keep going out of the guy, like, lightning ran through my body. I know, this is brutal. He probably started at, like, 3 a.m. too, snooping around on the internet. They have the same earlobes. Yeah. Oh, I'm like, oh, my God. And what do you mean she's going to visit him? She's going to visit her ex?

He said she's going to, do he say visit? He said see him, didn't he? Also, I feel like when you're like... She's going to be seeing very soon the guy she dated. In what context? Let's assume maybe some event, wedding, something. I don't know. Is it wrong with me to go and get a DNA test from her kid?

She's too. I love her to death. Surprised you. It's wrong. Am I fucking around getting, am I playing with fire here? You definitely are playing with fire. Let me know what you think.

I mean, this is tough because obviously, there's no problem in, like, if not being sure when the kid was, whose dad it is, it's like, you're okay knowing. I think it's okay to be like,

hey, I want to know for sure. now the problem is if you're basically accusing your girlfriend and the mother of your child of being a liar that's why this is high stakes right because she's like I'm telling you

it can't be him and she might know you know what I mean like it might she might you know he says it's weeks but who knows she might be like there's no way I didn't fuck that guy whatever she's saying no no no it's yours it's yours there's no way yeah so what do you mean there's no way

were you on a space shuttle for this one like every time people answer like that Yeah. There's no way. You're a little suspicious. No, come. It's yours, stupid. Yeah.

And then she, her eyes are darting. She's like, this guy's like, no, she convinced me. She told me I was being crazy for even assing. He's like, it looks just like him when the kid is like Chinese. He's just a white guy. He's like, well, maybe it's her ex. Maybe I'm a carrier.

That's it. I'm a carrier of Chinese. Yes. It's a recessive trait So Yes you can look it And then also I don't know

Maybe she was going to a wedding And he was going to be there I don't know where he would But without the guy If you got this woman pregnant Within two months of meeting her It's fair game I agree

DNA test But that's the rational thought It's been a while though By the way right The girl how's the kid Two and a half year old kid Two and a half year old kid So we're talking about three years

And plus nine months For them You know when they well because they did the math i guess and figured out that they got pregnant at least four years ago yeah i think he should do it in a secretive way when she's not in the house take the kid while they're still so young like they can't really talk or like even remember it go knock it out keep it quiet get them get them back home from the hospital fast enough that you can take the bandit off so basically you just your plan out of this is to lie until uh hopefully hopefully

Hopefully, if you get the information you want, for the rest of your life, never tell your girlfriend that behind her back. I'm thinking you don't do covert ops on this one. You got the DNA test. How quick is the turnaround on these? Isn't it like a week or something? Yeah, I can happen quick. But I'm just saying your plan is horrible. You can't do it on the sneak.

Why not? You can't do it on the sneak? You can't do it on the sneak? Yeah. I think you can't do a medical procedure with the child. What do you just cut his hair off or no? I'm just saying like it's you're basically basically what you're doing then is you've said it's so important to me to know one way or the other but I don't want to I'm too much of a coward to talk to you that I'm just going to it's almost like doubling down on going double on or nothing on this right because you've now you've added doing it behind someone's back and getting the DNA test true you know like it's like okay what happens if it's not your kid you go you're going to you fucking bitch

I tested him when you were fucking look in I fucking knew you were lying who's untrustworthy now But then if it is your kid Then you're like Oh wow I am a piece of shit Yeah

I have gone behind her back twice You raise the stakes that much more I've accused her of lying And she when she assured me And Yeah But that's the thing You're just

You're basically raising the stage I looked up I looked up the guy And it looks like our kid So now I want to know That's the thing That sounds like a little crazy As like your reason

For like doubting That it's your kid just the fact that the kid. You might have doubt it the whole time, though. I know, but, I mean, personally, if I did that and I found out it was my kid, I honestly don't think, I wouldn't feel guilty or weird about it or anything. You would look at it as what's the reason to even trouble her? Yes.

I'm pretty sure it's my kid. I'm just, like, that's how you would. That's how you would. This is a white lie. I just want to get over it. Yes. But it would just be a tangible betrayal to her. What about this?

What about this? could be anyway. How about this? And I'm not even disagree with you. I would want to know two. How about you do one on the sly? Okay. And then if it isn't your kid, you say to her I would like to do a DNA test. In fact, I'll bet you $10,000. It's not my kid. Or you should do that. And then you do another.

And you launder that test. Yes, you do it on the slide first time. That's just for you. But then what if she's like, how dare you? You say, well, why are you saying how dare you? Because you know you have a tease The DNA test The DNA test should have been done As soon as she announced she was pregnant

I agree Or whenever But it's like that thing of the The best time to plant a tree Is 30 years ago The second best time is now Yes yes It should have done it then

It does But it's not like never do it now You gotta just fucking do it And you know We were together for two months Probably weren't even exclusive I agree with you That's what I'm saying

I know She was banging that guy Two weeks before Bang the guy Lunar Cycles Ovulation thing Ofi yeah It's like, look

Right Let's call it It's great that the kid's healthy It's glad that they're co-parenting And are they even in a relationship? It sounds like they are together That's great But let's

Let's face it You knocked her up You knocked her up three months in You have very reasonable doubts Absolutely That's why I'm saying talk about it though I think if everything else is going good Find out

If it's your kid All right you can sleep easy at night you're good you crawl in the bed like the end of an Apple TV show hug her but what if she finds out you've been going behind her back

what's she gonna find hey I'm taking little Johnny to the barber shop see you in a couple hours and you go to fucking doctor she's an email like a fucking whatever phone call no shit man

get the hair you send it in you're just engaging in weird sneaky behavior behind her back that's unnecessary is my would be my argument i don't think it's worth blowing anything up until you just know for sure and if you get a positive match it's your kid it's like like this is never going to go away that thing is always going to be like you stay together forever it's always going to be there i think i think it's so clear that i'm on the rare it's rare that i'm on j p side which because jp takes the high road like a gentleman right oh it's very rare it's very rare that i'm on

his side against yours, but on this one I'm like, yeah, you probably should, the extra sneaking, I don't know, don't sneak. Don't sneak. You're not, you know why? Because you, I thought people just did that. You look a little crazy if you're like, I saw a picture of you and this guy on Facebook from like 2000, 23. But it's, but no, no, hold on. You don't though. Because it's, it's, it's, it's, what JP said, it was three months into the relationship. Facts, yeah, that's true. You don't know her like that. Hey, let's talk. It's not crazy. And you could just be like, look, I just, this is something that's been, you don't even have to say the thing about him,

you'd be like, look, I love what we have going, whatever. I don't, I don't even, you could even be like, I don't, I believe you. There's just a part of me where I'm like, I would love to just have a confirmed once and for all on DNA. You know what I mean? I think that's how you have to approach it.

Otherwise, look, could you get away with it? Yes. And if it doesn't bother you, you're fine. Yes, that's the, you're basically, you'll probably be fine, but in the small percentage you're not. not fine, you're really fucked if you're caught sneaking around taking a kid to get a DNA test, just lying to her.

That's all I'm saying. And then now you've become a dickhead. Now, if it's not your kid, you know. Well, that's the thing. If it's not your kid, like it's not even about, you know. If it's not your kid, you won't even give a fuck about any of this bullshit that we're talking about right now. But if it is your kid and you're lying, you'd probably feel kind of like an asshole. I wouldn't.

okay but like all right even if you're not and you risk getting caught that would be my perspective I guess I mean what is

what does a DNA test entail do you guys know I think they're pretty expensive that's all I know really yeah I didn't know that they're like a couple grand really

nah really I think so the fuck the way around this unfortunately he's retired but you could be like babe I know

this is my kid but I'm such a big Mori fan Why don't we just go We know we're gonna It'll be like fan fest It'll be fun of being

It'll be hilarious They cover everything I've always wanted to go to New Brunswick Yeah they put you up I've always wanted to take that bus ride Yeah it's so nice Studio audience

So You could have used that And if she really didn't want to You're like Bitch what are you hiding Yeah I'd be like I love Mori Or you come back

You'd be like This is crazy you just obviously you're like we just want a free DNA test 23 and me just sent this oh this is fucking cool let's all do it it's clearly printed off your like home printer let's all do the test me you and our daughter yeah get the scissors surely it wouldn't make sense to do that normally because we'd have the same results but since it's free might as well

she might want to be no that's a good point 23 and me me would, like, it would tell you. Yeah. It's like, right, because it would show, because it would tell you. I'm not Nigerian. Right, but it would show, yeah. Yeah.

That's, yeah. That's how a lot of people get, anyone can do that. That's how a lot of people found out their mom had, like, cheated. Yeah. Like, a lot of people would be like, a lot of old parents were sweating.

They'd be like, wait, none of the people you said I have matches with, I have matches with. Shit is not working out. You know what I'm going to be.