Stavvy's World - Bonus #145 - Live Call Show Vol. 31 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Stavvy is back talking directly to the fans! In what we thought was going to be the last live call episode from our studio, and the first ever free live call episode (we made the exec decision to keep this one on the Patreon even though it's awesome and the longest one yet), Stav and Eld help the beautiful Patreon members, including an aspiring vanlifer whose girlfriend abruptly left him amid a two year-plus van reno, a dude who discovered his grandpa has a secret family after doing 23&Me, and a woman whose retired cop dad broke the family up to start a terrible restaurant and date his Elvira-looking goth waitress. If you'd like to be a part of future live call episodes, subscribe at www.patreon.com/stavvysworld to get access to the Stavvy's World Discord channel where these live calls are taken. ☎️ Have a question for a regular episode? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Watch LET'S START A CULT on Hulu: https://www.hulu.com/movie/lets-start-a-cult-1f157c44-3840-4f01-8863-bb6afa472a0b ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Um, my parents were together for 36 years. Um, I was like, wow, this is love, like, good for them, happy family. And then a few years ago, my dad had what had to have been, like, a midlife crisis. So he was like a cop his whole life, retired like 10 years ago, used his pension to buy a restaurant. Oh, no. All those minority arms broken. Just to fail at selling ribs. Go ahead.

Literally. And it was like the worst fucking food, too, like American. It was so bad. Kitchen nightmare. Damn. Yeah, where was John Taffer when you needed him? Oh, God. Okay, so the restaurant flops, it sounds like?

Yes. And like in this flop, my dad is like taking us all down with him. So he meets this, like, career waitress. She's in her 60s, has tiggle bitties, and is like an attractive older woman. And he decides, like, he is absolutely in love with her. Yeah. So he tells my mom, like, I'm no longer in love with you. I'm in love with this woman.

Oh, my God. But I want to stay married. What? Yeah. Damn. Wow. Hold on. Just one little detail.

You said this woman looks like Elvira, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, so, like, on her Facebook, she literally, like, dresses up like Elvira and, like, straight up thinking she's, like, like, some sort of, like, sorceress. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So we've got, like, a first generation e-thought. Before they even had the internet, she was an e-girl. Exactly. She is, like, the worst kind of fucking human alive.

Yeah. So this, oh, man, I mean, this is, by the way, your dad buys a restaurant. I mean, this is what he had in mind. He wasn't thinking about fucking making food. He was thinking about fucking waitresses, but. Fucking big-titty goth girls. So, yeah. Fucking, leaves the force, gross his hair out, starts dating alt-girls, hilarious.

Okay, so, and then he proposes this insane thing to your mom where they're going to stay married, presumably because he didn't want to have to give or anything in the divorce. Is that what's going on? I have no idea what, like, mental state he was in, but it, like, I can't even, I don't know. He, I think he wanted to just have his cake and eat it, too. So, like, he wanted to stay in the house, stay married to my mom, but also be, like, stepping out with this woman, like, on the side. Who also, by the way, has a husband and a kid. Oh, my God.

What the fuck. So, yeah, I mean, your dad's coming out as Polly in his old age. I mean, this is fucking insane. Well, it gets worse. Keep going, please. So he, so I convinced my mom like, no, you're not fucking doing that. Because he was like, I guess this is just what I have to do now. And I was like, absolutely fucking not.

Like, you're getting a divorce. Damn, men had it so good a generation ago. You really can make women do whatever the fuck. fuck you wanted man anyway good for you good for you for telling your mom not to do that yeah

so my mom's actually doing great now she's thriving she does like yoga loti Zumba like he's living her best life good for her but my dad now is like spiraling out of control yeah no shit for like six months

after the separation he was like depressed like moved out got like a really sad apartment with like one piece of furniture in it and like one piece of strange artwork and like I went to go visit him and he's like yeah like I don't know what to do like this bitch won't move in with me like he was complaining because like his hoe won't move in with him is she still with her husband with her husband correct Holy shit. Well, your dad really just doesn't. I mean, this is why when men had honor, they just cheated and kept their mouth shut.

This guy's trying to codify this relationship. He could have just gotten head in his supply closet every once in a while and kept his trap shut. Honestly, that would have been much fucking better. Like, just do it the old school way. Like, please keep us out of it. Yeah. It's none of my business. Damn, that's hilarious

So your dad is a So, and I assume the restaurant has gone Has failed completely by now or what? I was straight into the ground Like nose dive Like since he took it over Like it took a complete 180 And just went to get

Oh my God Retired cop Failed restaurateur Diverset That's maybe one of the most Dvorced guys of all time Former cop Recently failed restaurateur

Yeah. That's a very divorced man right there. Has your dad gotten any back tattoos or new arm sleeves recently? I haven't seen him, but probably. This is like the track he's on. Yeah. Okay. Is that kind of the any more updates or is that kind of what is that kind of where we're at now?

Well, the last, the last update, which is like the worst one, is that he now took my mom off as the beneficiary of his life. insurance and put this new woman on. Wow. That's crazy. Not even you. Like, okay. That's what I said. Okay.

I was like, you have three children. That's crazy. Yeah. So like, look, whatever. He takes your mom off with they got divorced. They got divorced. But put your kids as the beneficiary. That's fucking insane.

And this woman is married to another man? Yeah. And he's even working. Like, he's, like, jacked up, definitely has a back tattoo, like, would kill my dad in, like, a fucking snap of his wrist. So, and this guy doesn't know this, or what do you think's going on there? So, finally, she did move in. Oh, wow. They're living together, and they're, like, little fucking cute apartment.

Interesting. So I guess he knows now. Interesting. What if this is just a plot to kill your father by this white trash couple to get his life insurance? This could be a good. This could be a good fucking, like, thriller plot, honestly. Well, that's what I keep telling my dad. So he doesn't know that we know that my mom's off the life insurance.

The only reason my mom knows is because she got, like, a letter in the mail saying, like, hey, you've been removed from this plan. Right. And then it shows, like, who the new, like, names the new beneficiary. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. So have you talked to your dad about this at all?

well so in the beginning I was like what the fuck is wrong with you what are you doing you need to go to therapy like you're fucked up yeah and he was like yeah I'm he I set him up with a therapist his therapist told him that guilt and shame are not valid emotions and he shouldn't feel those whoa I was like no you should definitely feel both of those that's crazy the fuck you should have done a little more screening on this therapist that sounds like I guess so Guilt and shame are not valid emotions. Is that just what your dad wanted to get out of it? I'm sure. I'm sure he was just hearing what he wanted to hear. Yeah, that sounds like, you know, your dad paraphrased it in his own words. My dad would never go to theory, but I can't imagine the ways he would weaponize his misunderstandings of what his therapist said in arguments.

So that is actually a very interesting point. But, okay, so what's going on now? So basically, I'm like, how the fuck do I convince my dad that he needs to leave this woman who's probably slowly poisoning him for his life insurance money? Yeah. Or do I just say, fuck you and just stop talking to my dad? Because it's like, I don't know. I'm just kind of like over the whole situation.

I can't even like talk to him without wanting to throw my phone across the room anymore. Yeah, I mean, I get that. Now, look, I don't think you can tell him to leave this woman, right? It's his fucking life. He wants to be a fucking idiot, whatever. He's had, he, look, he ruined, he blew up his life for these old, for these big old 60-year-old titties. He might as well get to suck on him. You know, he's in a fucking horrible apartment.

His children don't respect him. He lost his fucking pension on a shitty restaurant. Like, his wife is having a fucking yoga glow up now. His ex-wife is actually so much better off. All he's got is getting to fuck this woman. right like you know i don't even i to me the thing i would do is is be like how i think stressing the life insurance thing and being like what the fuck are you doing why aren't we why aren't your children the beneficiary and you can even it doesn't even have to be you

but you just be like you can be one of your siblings whatever but it's like that's that that that i would have a big issue with and that i would confront my father about and that would for me If, like, I was, I mean, again, what is my, it's hard for me to say because, like, my dad has any, I don't even know if anybody would insure him. He's had, like, three heart attacks. But, like, I think for me, that's more of a thing that, that feels like a betrayal. Because, look, unfortunately, people get divorced, whatever. He, that's, it's a weird, fucked up thing he did. But it's not, you know, you're an adult.

You know how people are. I don't think that's grounds to cut your fun. father out of your life. Yeah. But putting his new girlfriend over you after the divorce or after you, over your siblings and something like this. A is weird because, like, I don't actually think this woman is secretly trying to kill your father, but it is, like, weird that he, she's on his life insurance.

And they're just, like, and they just moved in together. Like, who even has that conversation? I mean, maybe your dad did it to be, like, you know, maybe he did it because he's mad at his ex. He's like, your mom, and he just wants to be like, you're getting off it and I'm putting, you know, my new bitch on. But I still, I would feel fucked up about it if my dad put his new girlfriend instead of his kids. So I, maybe that's, but you can't tell him what to do.

And like, the amount you want to have him in your life, that's up to you. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. I don't think necessarily, I mean, the life insurance thing is the closest thing in my mind to a deal breaker that he's done. but if you talk to him about it and he still refuses, that's more grounds to be like, you know what? I don't know if I need to fucking have you in my life right now.

You're pissing me off. But, you know, I think that's... The problem? Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, you please, please. The only problem with bringing up the life insurance to my dad directly is like my mom and my sister have this like underground network where they're getting all the, like, their secrets.

So that's how they know Like they moved in together That's how they know about the life insurance And my mom was like Don't you fucking dare tell him That I know about the life insurance So like I've been trying to like secretly drop hints

Like dad I had a vision That like your your bitch was slowly poisoning you And she got the life insurance money Two things here What do you mean an underground secrets network That's informing on your father What the fuck does that mean? I have literally I'll be like

how do you know my sister goes like i have my sources you won't fucking drop her so your whole family is insane is what you're telling me um basically i mean i don't i don't think you need to draw pins i think you'd be like hey so everything is finalized with the divorce like whatever happened to the life insurance you're going to make one of us you're better like that's a that's a very reasonable question post-divorce to be like so what you know like you could ask him a handful of questions like have you guys finalized everything, you know, about the house, about whatever. And you could even put life insurance in there.

And you could be like, you should probably make one of us, the beneficiaries, if you want to take mom off. I mean, I think, I don't even think this is the kind of thing you need to be sneaking around about. I think it's the, you know, I think it's like a logistical question that you can very reasonably bring up to your dad post-divorce. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. And that makes sense. And then you can just legitimately ask him about other things you're wanting.

wondering about, you know, because I'm sure you're like, I'm sure Levenger is not the only thing. You know, his will. It's a little morbid, but it's like if you're talking about, like, these are all things you should say, hey, now the divorce is over, we have some shit to figure out because mom's not, you know, in your life anymore. But like, so let's figure this out in a way that makes sense legally. Um, you know, I think that's reasonable. I don't think you have to like, be like i went to a psychic who told me she's going to strangle you in your sleep i think a straightforward question might be actually a better way to go about this no that's literally what i was doing i was like i had another vision last like once a month i would

text him like you're going to die uh fuck hilarious though that is very funny yeah all right well sounds like i just need to like be straight with my dad and just talk to him, which is not what I was hoping to hear. I'm sorry. Unfortunately, most of these calls boil down to that, most of these calls boil, but it is fun to hear about. I mean, your dad is out of it. That's such a hilarious retirement plan.

He is a dumbass, but, you know, like Steph said, it is his life. It's like, obviously you can harbor angst against your parents for cheating and blowing up their marriage and life, especially when it's like clearly so. misguided like your dad clearly had a right life crisis but you know pathetic you have to like look into the future especially if you're thinking about like cutting them off it's like

you know there's two ways this could go for your dad it could just like this relationship with this girl with this woman could just go up in flames or who knows maybe they just stay together and she's in your life for like and she's in your life for like 10 years

15 years who knows whatever the fuck and it's like you know look at it's like you know look to the future and consider both of those and it's like what is your relationship with your dad going to look like either way eventually you're like anger towards him will soften you will always think he's a dumbass he sounds pretty fucking stupid right and hilarious but you know just something to keep in mind think about this like more long term rather than the initial like shock and anger you're feeling now yeah absolutely i mean right now his new thing is like besides being a

idiot. He's like taking out thousands of dollars from like what remains of him and my mom's like account bank account and like investing in like platinum and like precious metals. I'm like okay. What do you mean their joint bank account? I mean, your mom's got to figure that out with their lawyers. That's insane. That's crazy. Platinum. I thought you guys say Bitcoin and somehow precious metals are sound stupider to me. But hey, either way. Yeah, talk to him about that too. Like, hey, don't you think it's fucked up? You're stealing money. But, hey, sounds like you got your work cut out.

But, you know, ultimately. Talk to your dad like you're a counselor, not like you're his, like, daughter. You know? It's like help guide him in the direction of making less horrible mistakes in the future. But also, you know, he's going to do whatever stupid that shit he's going to do. And ultimately, you don't have that much control over that. Amen. Good luck, sister.